#its ok u can see details here its ok cope cope cope

[hinamie]

for the blessings megumi zine ! like 2 years ago at this point,,, still vvv proud of this though ! super fun project super cool zine <3

[satanfemme]

i dont usually talk to you directly about kink related things so this feels slightly tmi buuut re: your head halter tags, its interesting how things that are Not good for dogs/etc that are fine for you as a person who can comprehend the situation that are Incredibly appealing. like. scruffing😳<imagine thats the bonk version

omg I can see the appeal of scruffing 👀, that's so good actually. if I were a cat I would love to be scruffed ngl. get picked up -> lose motor function / get a little overstimulated / thoughts turn off maybe <3 gonna contemplate that as a catgirl & catboy appreciator thank u

also yeah I kinda love taking adversive training techniques and recontextualizing them thru kink. it probably sounds silly but I think part of it is definitely a way to cope/heal from the things I had to witness in the animal care industry [insert standard ''kink as a way of coping'' explanation here lol], but I also find the idea of being controlled like that just so fun and fulfilling. & also adversives (ie. my prong collar) just fit so well into my aesthetic and fashion sense anyway (ie. it is a known fact that prong collars go hard aesthetically).

this is 100% a tangent, but a small detail I enjoy when using adversive training tools in kink (and which may already be apparent in the way I talk about them) is specifically viewing it through the lens of myself being a dog who is consenting to these accessories being used on myself, rather than just saying "it's ok to use these on myself because I'm a human" (<- which is how I thought about it when I first started experimenting with this, but it pulls me out of the doggy headspace / gives me species dysphoria) and also rather than roleplaying the tool being used in a genuinely adversive/abusive manner (<- which no hate for people who do enjoy that roleplay, just for me in this context it's usually a turn-off when implemented irl). maybe even with that explanation it's still a bit corny to say I specifically enjoy the element of consent in pet play featuring adversive tools, but personally it's genuinely really affirming (for both my therian identity and my sexuality) to not only enjoy these things but to also Say I'm a doggy who enjoys these things because it's like enrichment to me :3

hopefully this post is an interesting read, I have sooo so so many thoughts on pet play and my specific relationship with it I could go on forever, thank u for giving me an excuse to talk about it. & never worry about being tmi with me, kink is one of my biggest interests rn LOL

[tsaritza-mika]

Helloooo can u do a mc who is Muslim w the main six plzzzz

I certainly can ^--^

I will be very upfront tho, I am largely a secular person outside of my literal mish-mash of random beliefs. I also tend to see most characters that way, unless otherwise specified within their respective canon universe, so this will be done as if the Main 6 either have their own beliefs, or none at all. This is not meant to offend anyone in particular who see otherwise. Ok, disclaimer over XDDD

~~~~~***~~~~~

The Main 6 w/ a Muslim MC

Asra 

Is thrilled if you invite him to join you in practicing. He’s learned little bits and pieces of a ton of other religions during his travels, even joined in a few celebrations here and there, but this time it’s special. This time it’s with you

Absolutely adapts his cooking for your religious dietary restrictions. As a total foodie, he’ll even go the extra mile to try finding the most delicious versions of anything to fit your needs as well

Need to set aside time for prayer while traveling? Need or desire privacy? Of course you have it. He’ll be just a short walk away, ready to go whenever you are

Has no trouble at all fasting with you during Ramadan. Stocks up on a bunch of stuff for crafts to help pass the time so you aren’t thinking of food when the last few hours start to really sink in

Would love to help you add a few things of significance to the shop if you wanted

If you cover your hair/head, Asra will be all about making special ones for you. Tie-dye, fabric paints, needlepoint designs, even a few colorful beads if you let him.

Nadia

Familiar with the religion and its practices, but please, do tell her more 

She’s had to both visit and entertain various officials and special guests who practice, so she’s happy to join in if you wish for her to

Has a great appreciation for Arabic calligraphy, and makes sure to put your favorite Quran passages into true works of art just for you

Though in the past it's been so people don’t recognize her, she’ll gladly join you in covering her hair now and then. Who knows? Maybe she’ll come to like it as a norm

Helping you through those last few hours of fasting for Ramadan is a breeze. Nadia is nothing if not determined, so as if she would allow herself to fail in this

Please tell her more. She wants to know more, and she loves seeing your face when you speak about things that you are passionate about and are important to you

Julian

“Oh, so that’s why you cover your head? Thank goodness, darling, I was worried you might not love your beautiful hair as much as I do...”

Likely knows a bit of conversational Arabic from his travels, but doubtful he could read any of it. But please teach him, he’s an eager baby when it comes to sharing knowledge

Really gets into the stories you tell him from the Quran, and can also go off on tangents about similar ones he’s heard from all over

Totally fine with your dietary restrictions and that you don’t drink. Drinking has mostly been a social thing in the past, and unfortunately he’s used it to help cope with difficulties, so he could really stand to pull it back a little

You will get constant questions about how things work within your faith and if there are any details he needs to know. What’s the right way to interact, if there are any special ways? Has he been unknowingly disrespectful in the past due to his ignorance? What are the rules?

He tries daily to make sure you know he wants to know all of you, faith and everything included. But keep an eye on him, because we know he can sometimes go overboard trying to please <3

Portia

She is determined to learn how to wrap/cover your hair perfectly, and is very into the idea of trying so herself. Never know if it could end up being her new thing if she never tries~!

Totally all over the food part of things. She goes the extra mile to take any dietary needs/preferences, and making them tastier than the originals

Will go out of her way to surprise you with Arabic script embroidery she’s done herself on some of your clothes and/or head coverings. Sometimes she’ll even get daring and add a few beads for some extra sparkle

Not gonna lie, Ramadan is tough the first time around, but she powers through it because no one can stop Portia Devorak when she’s on a mission!

Please teach her some Arabic so she can read with you. She’s an adventurous soul, and wants to learn more about everything

Invite her to perform your daily prayers with you! Of course she’ll respect it if you want privacy, but she’ll be over the moon if you want her there with you

Muriel

Very chill with everything, most chill of all of them, let’s be honest

Fasting with you for Ramadan goes over easily enough. He’s gone without a meal here and there before, so doing it with you as a simple show of support for your beliefs is easy

Literally the easiest to work with dietary and drinking restrictions based on your faith. He doesn’t mind not doing any of that, and he doesn’t even miss any of it

The easiest alongside Nadia when it comes to your daily prayers. Invite him if you wish, he’s not hurt if you’d rather have privacy. The important thing to him is you always come back, and hopefully happier and a little more peaceful in the process

Nobody even considers being disrespectful and removing your head wear when he’s with you. His past aside, Muriel is a huge dude, and that alone is enough of a deterrent

He will ask you about things, but it’s better if you offer the first few times. He doesn’t want to pester you, but he also wants to know more about you and how your faith has shaped you

Lucio 

He... ok look, Lucio adores you; loves you to the ends of the Earth and back, but things like religion and religious practices have never been his forte. You’re gonna have to be patient with him, but the effort is definitely there.

Tries so hard to learn what everything means and why it’s significant to you, but he does struggle

The one part he gets without issue is that it’s a ‘dry religion’, so you both can sit down and talk about things. He doesn’t really ‘need’ to drink, so he’ll at least try to abstain to show you support, but he might still end up having a few if it’s for things like fancy dinners or important gatherings

Never really understood things like ‘prayers’, but is more than fine with giving you a special room in the palace so you can have your privacy during

If you cover your hair/head, it’s just another fabulous accessory to gift you from the best artisans and tailors he can find

Enjoys the stories and passages you tell him from the Quran, tries to remember your favorites

[i-imade-a-thing]

Amphibia The Hardest Thing Details!

I cried like 3 times this episode and a mess emotionally rn, this one of the greatest cartoon finals I've ever watch. It is such a bittersweet ending and knowing that there won't be another episode is...really hard. I really love this show and all the details and themes put in to it. Here's to one of the greatest cartoon of all time!

Core being the embodiment of not wanting to change, fearing of being irrelevant (idk y but its kinda similar to ss1 hop pop)

Toadie in the crowd is in his old uniform (animation error i guess)

When the camera is turning we can see the amphibian(s) that took care of their respective girls in background (plantars for anne, grime for sasha, olivia yunan and andrias for marcy)

Sasha's design is similar to her beta designs

Anne's boots and crown have leafs theme over it

During the Calamity fight scene, No Big Deal leitmotif is played throughout the fight

The power they use reflect who they are: Anne summoning tennis racket, ball, cats and having leaves aura when summoning stuff....Sasha summoning pom-pom and wings (like her sword) and moving like cheerleader.....Marcy summoning the DND dice, the background being the pin that she gave to andrias and the fluffy character from her fav game, and the explosion being in shape of weapons from her fav movie

Also Anne's cats missile thingy is similar to Andrias' lizard lazer thingy from the last episode

Andrias saying "Something I should've done a long time ago, standing up to you!" parallel Anne during reunion

Plantars, wartwoodians, wally's dad, the small frogs, olms, apothagary, percy and braddock, beatrix, trintorio, newtopian townies, EVERYONE IS HERE!

"you're my everything, you've change my life" "and you've change mine" ;-;

god damn sprig's crying destroyed me

After gaining all stones power, Anne's body start to crack

When Sprig said "Cmon, you'll be ok" he was smiling and coping, hoping everything will be ok

This look exactly like the painting in Anne's room

There's tennis racket, plantars sign, tennis ball as small will mill, the thai-looking post box, small farm, and anne's glowing sowrd

Picture of Plantars, her parents, domino, and her friends, the pen and cane (from Cane Crazy), sprig's figurines, the plushie (from the domino effect) and figurine (from froggy little christmas) that sprig made, the tea pot (from hopping mall), glowing stars from her room, donut pillow (from beginning of the end), the lamp having butterfly theme, her curtain having the flame pattern (similar to her ss3a outfit), and the wallpaper being leaf pattern

Anne seems to born in 2007

When Anne chat with the Guardian, music box's theme is played

"I have my whole life ahead of me to make bad choice and learn good lesson from them," kinda summarize ss1

DOMINO IS THE ALPHA AND OMEGA (mentioned adventure in catsitting)

Anne gonna lived up to 91 years old lol

Frobo learning not to tackle hug ppl this time, also Anne's theme played

The girls receive the crown with the same color as their gem

When Marcy receive her crown, Marcy's theme played

YUNANLIVIA CANON

Andrias is surprise that Marcy somewhat still care for him

When Sasha start crying after receiving the crown, Sasha's theme played

Sasha still cares about Percy and Braddock

During the scene where Anne said goodbye to Plantars, Anne's theme played

HOP POP CALLING ANNE HIS GRANDDAUGHTER

"Family always finds each other" (from The Day at Aquarium)

"Spranne against the world" is the final message between Anne and Sprig

I will not emotionally recover from this

Andrias having Barrel's warhammer, Leif's pin, Marcy's pin, and leaves in his beard(similar to anne)

Triple B can be seen helping Andrias regrow plants

The dude that was kidnap by dragonfly in the first ep is still up there lmao, also that scene playout similar to first ep: camera panning down on Stumpy's and Wally leaving

Stumpy's now serve Thai Tea Pancakes with maggots

Bog & the boys now have job as moving junk & service with Jacinda (kinda make sense since, u know they move stuff out of wartwood back in ss1)

Polly have a wrench in her pocket

Chuck now have a Tulip Emporium

Jeremy is now with the other mushroom (in a pot)

GRIME BEARD

BESSIE AND JOE HAD KIDS

HOP POP KEPT HIS AVOCADOS

Hop Pop and Sylvia hanging out~

Bunch of callbacks/reference: moss man, Amphibia theme song lyrics, domino 1 & 2, calamity anne form, cursed Anne, roadtrip arc map, anne's leaf, tomato monster, grub hog, Thai Go, and the runes that we never even figure out what the letter "v" and "z" is

The hidden continent Ivy mentioned later seems to be on west of mainland

Ivy still abushing Sprig...and got the red seashell to match sprig's blue moon shell~

When Ivy talked about hidden continent, Anne's theme played

Anne Boonchuy's statue sign also said: "We miss you, girl!"

Marcy having Sakura(naruto) and Bakugo(my hero academia) keychain

Sasha having the 2 swords symbol on her jacket, the 2 swords keychain, bi heart sticker, and her guitar sticker

Marcy is a web comic artist!?

Sasha is a kid therapist!?

Anne having leaf pattern scrunchie

Anne's theme playing in her monologue

each species exhibit reflect Amphibia: frog's modeled after Plantar's house, toad's after Toad tower, newt's after newtopia, and olms after Proteus

End credit stuff:

The end credit cycle from Marcy's theme to Sasha's then to Anne's

Anne's tennis racket, Sasha's pink sword, and Marcy's crossbow was placed where they left Amphibia

Toad tower never seems to be rebuild....plus there's plants growing on it now

จบบริบูรณ์....which means "The End"

Also notice how Anne's is in middle of the picture now

Annnnd that's the end of the show! This show is surely smth special! Can't believe we spent 4 years with this show and seeing it from beginning to end is just...quiet bittersweet. Seeing how everything came together and make this master piece is just, WOW. I really hope we can see these characters and this world some day again in the future, but for now it's time for a rest.

On other notes, thank you for reading the Amphibia Details posts throughout the show lifespan, I really do enjoy looking for details in each episode and cherish everything the crew gave us. So, once again, thank you, and I hope we see each other again in some random post in the future.

...

Also I've been crying for around 6 hours straight my eyes feel so dry AHHHHHHHH-

[pinksnow]

Hi! I just want to say that I LOVE your Addison versions!!! Especially Yellow (what's his name anyway?), but as I noticed, he doesn't appear so often on this blog. I would be glad to see him more! And his LIGHTING >:)

Oh, and I just bow to you for the idea of their "superpowers" 0v0

*And also I'm scared of Pink 0_0*

kit and neumann epic lore post by mod pink

starting with this because the way you phrased them being tofether is so fucking funny. anyways

kit cannot get infected by any viruses or even get wormed! oh ho! his code is uh. a little fucked up. but hes like a second gen teetering on midgen for the 3rds so its FINE. hes like half worm but not insane. if you try to infect him he'll only really get like, some physical effects like if neumann tried to he'd only really have floating hearts/heart eyes and be ever so slightly more clingy for max 2 hours LOL

also yeah hes not related to anyone here they just found him also hes very stupid

lol so this is why his hair looks like that at the ripe age of 2 Hours Old he stuck his finger in a plugboy and got shocked this also fucked up more of his code. stupuid idiot. got electrocuted

a heem heem

neumann was part of spamtons og group he was tha ogpink. he advertised fuckin, dating sites n shit LOL

hes was at the time the only one remaining of the group that hadnt gotten wormed yet and he had to painstakingly watch spamton make friends with sierra as a fucked up coping mechanism for the loss of monecs(ogblue). its ok spamton saw sierra for sierra instead of a replacement after like a year lol. neumann is also the one that help spamton wit dates n shit after that year.

anyways im like what if 1stgens could like ""handle"" one overheat or two without worming but it could like snap at any moment since it breaks asnd fucks up their code so much which is why neumann suddenly wormed while out with spamton which was. very hard to do! finally getting to see him again then u explode. also yeah neumann was still around by the time spamton was a big shot

twlling spamton hes proud of him but he gets too emotional and the code finally breaks. but not like overheat emotional. like just being fucking normal like not extreme no crying or anything no struggles with words just very to the point but hes a first gen and hes not supposed to even be able to do that so um. oops

(spamton is a midgen so he can handle just. a bit more emotion than 1st gens which is why he isnt wormedsince we know hes very emotional but ykno. lol)

anwyays after all the spamton neo bullshit they drag tha worms home bc like. naur we arent leaving you down here isolated. im not fgoing into detail with that because thats not the point of this post andalso i dont want to rn LOL. after all hiding and being isolated for so many years theirlike stupid infect everyone and break stuff code has like. gone dormant.but they still all stay in the house never going out in fear of it like reactivating and instead focus on getting used to living with eachother. i like to think tha worms manage to get the worm aspect shoved out and gone completely w/ enough hard and persistent work. i mean theyre still a little crazy and unpredictable but like in a silly way not dangerous LOL worm power/magic used for funny japes and beating the shit out of werewerewirez

they probably eventually get over their fear of going out in public and start going out w/ the gang but eventually go out by themselves too. given they cant just be laid back n stuff bc theyhave to like. they like have to keep their worm stuff toned down. cant have floating hearts or glitches lol. probably wear baggy clothing w/ hoods when out as an extra precaution. but one day neumanns hood falls down while hes out in public and he freaks out but like. everyone around him are 3rd gens and theyre just like holy shit dude thats so cool are those hearts like a new accessory whered you get those. i mean theres stil those who know neumann as ILOVEYOU but eberyone else is like bro theyre cool now look at these cool floating hearts bro. tjats all i remember rn lol. have images

[wcamino-confessions]

Hey uh

Its basil. Some of you know me as m*tt. Please do not call me that, that name makes me uncomfortable. I'm here to do something that is long overdue, and for good reason. I wanted to make sure I was in the right state to apologize. By that I mean, that I have completely distanced myself from the pr*ship crowd and have become a better person. Also Tumblr is my trigger app so,,,

I don't expect forgiveness, and I do not need it, I just want to apologize to the people I might have hurt.

Alright, let's get to where this all started.

I'm not good with dates, and I do not have screenshots, so I am not good with the exact dates. The screen shots are out there somewhere though, and you can gladly take a look. I will link it if I find them.

Ok. So... God, this is hard to talk about.

Back in October 2020 something really shitty happened. It's extremely personal, and I would rather not talk about my issues jn too much details. All you really need to know is that i left this situation having nearly non stop panic attacks for 4 months. My mental Health was rapidly declining, and it caused me to spiral in to using many unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I was in a horrible place in my life. I had undiagnosed BPD, and I didn't know what the fuck was wrong with me. I just knew that I would do anything to stop it.

Enter late December, one of my second worst months. I started my first account, strawberry.pannacotta on Twitter. I would post tame content, mainly rambles and such. In that time I slowly dipped my toes in to the idea of proshipping, my friends were adamant that it was the best thing in the damn world, and that it was a good thing.

Little did I know they were very wrong.

Later that September I made the first of many posts that I may be known for. In that post I was venting out my frustration, since earlier that day I saw a 12 year old ask to sext 14-17 year olds on a confession account. I was scared and worried that someone would hurt the kid, and it translated in to rage, since ei had no better emotion to vent with.

I said a lot of things, but they are un important, since its simply rambling. What is important is that I said "someone should doxx this kid". In hindsight that was a shitty thing to say, but in the last bit of my post I wrote that the reason I wanted them to get doxxed was so someone could tell their parents what they are doing. Once again, this is no excuse, what I said was bad and has extremely harsh legal consequences. Doxxing is NOT a joke.

After that I wrote multiple posts about a suggestive NSFW incestuous relationship between a minor and multiple adults. I don't remember what I said, but I do remember it was explicit.

That was all I really had from the strawberry.pannacotta account. Most of the awful shit is from my kurapicatboy account.

The first disgusting post I made was a post of an underage anime boy being chased by a large dog. I forgot what I put as the caption, but I do know that it was hinting at possible beastiality. At the time my only friends were pro ship, and I had been manipulated in to believing that what I was doing was curing my trauma. It "worked' with my other trauma. Why not go the extra mile?

After that I made multiple posts about "lewding" qiqi from genshin impact. But that wasn't the worst part.

The worst post I made was me saying that "grooming is hot"

That is the post that made me rethink everything.

I was anxious, many of these posts were made during panic attacks. I was an unmedicated and undiagnosed person with BPD. I was also a people pleaser, who wanted to be praised and acknowledged by whatever group I had inserted myself in at the time.

I was extremely easily manipulatable, and my friends took advantage of that. They further encouraged me to keep making these posts, that doing these disgusting things were right, and that everyone else is in the wrong.

I am so sorry.

I'm sorry that I made all of these posts.

Km sorry that you all had to see this, See me in my worst state, see my extremely triggering posts.

I'm sorry for everything.

No, I don't want to come back to warriors amino. I'm done with warrior cats, and I'm satisfied with the accomplishments I have made in the past 5 years.

I just want to apologize to everyone I hurt, and every person I could have possibly triggered with the content I had posted.

The apology is long overdue, but I wanted to make sure that I was truthful with all of you when I made it.

I'm on medication, and approved for more frequent therapy sessions. I do not use social media other than TikTok, and even then I am a completely different person.

I am antiship, and asexual. I have been through a lot of things in the past 6 months, and I'm slowly recovering, but I can assure you all I am away from that awful crowd, and have surrounded myself in truly amazing people who have been so much less toxic to me.

Even if I am off of warriors amino, I am still working on my game dev projects. I have moved on from warriors, and have decided to become independent from any Fandom. I'm happy with where I am. I'm happy that I'm in a well enough mindset to make this and post it, and I'm happy to inform you all that u am doing better.

I NEVER condoned the harm of real children or animals. Yes, my posts were disgusting and harmful, yet I was convinced my content wasn't harmful since it was purely fiction. It was never my intent to harm. As a survivor of csa I will never put another child in danger.

If you have listened this far, thank you. I hope you have a great day.

[bubsdolan]

Hiii so this is a suuuper sensitive topic and it’s ok if you don’t feel comfortable writing about it, but my one year anniversary of my r*pe is next week and I was wondering if you could write something w gray? Maybe just friends but they both know there’s feelings there but reader is scared cause, in my case, my first ever date w a guy was w the man who a**aulted me & it’s also been my one s*xual experience and I’m scared of men lmaooo it’s ok if you can’t tho I’ll luv u always and no matter what <3

{baby, having spoken to you privately and having you open up to me the way you did, i hope you know how strong you are. how brave and so incredibly special i know you are. thank you for trusting me and putting all your faith in me to deliver something that you can use to help you cope in a way. i love you and im here whenever you need🍒 sorry it’s so late}

{trigger warning- sexual assault}

you had been keeping yourself to yourself all day, avoiding calls and texts from everyone closest to you as you harboured your deeper most inner feelings that often send your mind spiralling out of control. your demons working a mile a minute as you relive the events that unfortunately occurred a year ago today. a secret you had yet to tell anyone, in fear of not being believed or for how people could potentially perceive you.

it was the year anniversary of the day you got sexually assaulted after your first ever date with a guy you forced yourself to forget the name off. all memories of him were erased besides the feeling of his dirty, unconsensual hands on your body. the face of a devil hovering over you maliciously as you begged and pleaded with him to let you go. you never truly recover from that sort of trauma and over the last few days, the feeling of dread and fear had slowly been creeping its way back into your life where it didn’t belong.

you were meant to be spending the evening with your best friend, grayson. you both made a pact at your naive age of 14, that once a week you would both go out and do something spontaneous. a pact you both refuse to break serval years later, wanting to make the most of what life has to offer. but in your state of mind, there was nothing worse than putting on a brave face, especially for someone who could read you like a book, and lying to yourself and others around you about how you were really feeling.

although grayson dolan was your childhood bestfriend, and at times your only companion, your relationship was more than that. it was deeper and held a different spark than when you were kids. you were the happiest when with grayson, something about being around him made you feel at ease, at peace with yourself and most importantly safe. you har a flirty relationship, always cuddling when watching movies, being quite handsy with each other any chance you could, but you both were to scared to push the boundariesof anything more- you more than grayson.

you were getting ready to wallow away in the comfort of your bed, surrounded by snacks and your favourite netlfix shows as you needed an escape. you needed to escape the prison of your own mind, as well as the world around you. however, you were pulled back into reality at a startling knock at your door. a knock you knew all too well.

coming face to face with gryson, the one face you needed to see but also feared in this moment, you sigh in defect and reluctantly let him inside your apartment. you could instantly see his face relax at the sight of you. after not answering any of his calls and texts for serval hours, he was starting to panic, his mind running away with thoughts of something bad happening to you. he couldn't live without you and the very notion of it made his heart bleed.

“bubba-” you melt at the nickname reserved for grayson and grayson alone. he was so blindly unaware of the affect he had on you, that even something as simple as a term of endearment coming from his lips, was enough to set you into a pool of your own tears. 

grayson is by your side in seconds, slamming the door with his foot as he holds you in his embrace- an embrace you needed now more than ever. he’s shushing your whimpers, running his fingers tips through the ends of your hair as he rocks you back and fourth with his body. he lets you cry, his heart breaking at the sound, wanting nothing more to take away your hurt and pain, although not knowing the real cause behind it. 

you collect yourself, whipping your bloodshot eyes to try and hide any signs you were weak, but grayson knew you better than you knew yourself. he knew something was deeply wrong, but in his mind, he came up with the conclusion that it had something to do with him. his suspicious only growing when you push him away, creating a painful distance between the two of you as you wrap your arms around your body in protection. from what- you didn't know, grayson was and always will be your protection.

a sigh leave yours lips the minute you see grayons face drop, his lips setting into a devastating frown. his eyes welling up with his own tears at the thought of you not wanting him anymore. you were pushing him away without realising it and it broke him. “why are you here, grayson?

“im here for you, bubba. you weren't answering any of my calls or texts, i was worried about you.” grayson steps closer in hope you would drop your facade, in hopes you would run into his arms and live the happily ever after you both crave and deserve.

“im fine. you can go now. please.” your voice cracks slightly and yet again you take a few steps back, holding your hands in front of your body as an attempt to stop graysons movements coming any closer to you.

“what are we y/n? one minute you want me and the next you can’t stand to be near me. now your completely shutting me out. if i did something wrong please- please tell me. i cant handle the silence, the tears, the absence. im right here, you have me- all of me. but you gotta let me in.” 

at his confession, a confession you have longed to hear, you’re breaking. sobs raking over your body for the second time tonight that tells grayson this is bigger than him. 

“im scared, gray, im so fucking scared. im terrified of letting you in because the last guy i did, he- he.” you break down in his arms. not having to go into detail about the trauma you’ve faced because grayson is doing what he does best and protecting you. leading you to sofa, lifting you onto his lap so your legs are straddling his hips. you cry into the crock of the his neck, his arms securely fastening around your waist as he lets you burn out all of all the tears you needed to cry.

“did he hurt you?”

no answer. your eyes shifting uncomfortably from his face to his lap. your fingers fiddling with his shirt as you try your best to avoid his question. one that would open up a can of worms you weren’t sure he was ready for.

“did he lay a finger on you, baby, please i need to know what happened so i can help you. i lo- i care about you and i hate seeing you in pain.” you can hear the hurt and desperation in grayson’s voice, something you wished to never hear or be the cause of again. 

and so you tell him, everything. from the talking stage with your abuser, to the events before and after your assult. you can feel his body tense beneath your own as the words leave your lips. he wanted to kill the arsehole for laying a finger on his girl, for betraying your trust and breaking such a beautiful creature, ripping the life and soul from you. but more importantly- he was angry at himself for not seeing the signs sooner. for not noticing the way you flinch whenever he or another male trys to touch you, or how you cower into a shell of a human whoever someone raises their voice at you. he was beating himself up mentally at how he wasnt there to protect you, to love you and stop any harm coming your way like he promised 14.

grayson sits in silence, staring ahead at the wall, taking in every piece of information you share. his arms tighten around you body, his jaw locked and body tense as his eyes shoot with rage. he’s keeping himself calm for your sake. the feeling of you wrapped safely in his arms is the only thing stopping him for not hunting down that bastarrd and ending his life. you ground him.

grayson heard enough, your words eating him alive, not able to listen to the tragic events an angel was put through. and before you know it, his lips are on yours. a sweet sensual kiss that takes you by surpirse but has you kissing back almost instantly. this was everything you needed, everything you hoped and dreamed of, but once again your mind and self deprecation took over. you pull away, breathlessly. leaning your forehead agasint graysons as he brings one hand to rub soothly across your cheek bone, eyes burning into each other’s as you silently confess what should have been said a long long time ago. 

“consider this my spontaneous adventure of the week but i love you, y/n, more than i could ever love anyone. and i swear to you, hand on heart, i will never let anyone hurt you again. s’got you, baby. it’s me and you forever, till the end of time- fuck i- i need to kiss you again.” grayson interrupts his ramble, leaning forward to peck your lips once, twice, three times as he becomes addicted to the taste of you. so high off the love everyone knew you shared so each other but took the pair of you longer to admit.

“please don't hurt me.” you whisper, the words rolling off your tongue before you fam stop tjem. just needing the reassurance that grayson will live up to all your expeditions, even exceed them. but also that  history won’t be repeating itself.

“baby, cross my heart hope to die, id never lay a finger on you in that way. you’re safe with me, y/n, always have been, always will be.”

[askfallenroyalty]

mod update :V

hey ya’ll! i had a pretty tough time over the holidays... 2020 was a hell year.

i had BIG plans for this year and didn’t realize i was going to miss the actual Christmas date. (i ALWAYS update on christmas for askblogs, have for the last several years) i basically had 2 Christmases, one with mom and one with my dad, and that exhaustion + dropping out of school put me into a hugely unexpected spiral that i’m only now getting out of LOL. if you’re new here, hi. i’m sam. i have bipolar depression and very likely adhd but i can’t afford to get diagnosed. i’m having trouble coping. how r u.

cheek aside, i hope we are all doing at least a little better since the new year and hopefully the spring sunshine will help us all!

but yeah to AFR, i’m bummed i missed out on the date and couldn’t finish the arc. i had TOO much planned tbh and was speeding through it to get to the plot. the idea was that we’d learn more about Frisk’s history and their grandma. We’d have a Big Party with mettaton and Mew Mew and it’d be a HUGE event that was going to be super fun and cool to see the full cast and-!

none of that ended up happening LOL. i jumped to melodrama because i had so much planned that i couldn’t properly space it out. then because i wasn’t updating, i wasn’t getting asks (NOT that anyone’s fault but mine, making that clear rn) and to be honest...

i’ve kinda overcame some coding hurtles i’ve had with gamemaker and have been really getting into working on my fangame. i’m still Not Good yet but it’s fun and what little I do get accomplished feels amazing. with comics, and askblogs specifically, I have to keep a watchful eye on getting feedback (asks, reblogs, comments) and try to make ya’ll engaged while doing detailed and more detailed artwork in short bursts of time. which was fine back when i was more stable and wasn’t trying as hard with backgrounds, but i’m rusty and got used to detail.

i’ve been growing a distate for online comics for these last few years (comics are insanely extensive and quickly enjoyed) and i’m not... sure... how to go about this anymore...

i’ve been keeping it a secret but I’ve wanted to do the DarkWorld finale in animation. i’ve done some animatics, tried out making sprites (i even considered making a fangame for it, or a fan animation using GMS 2.3.1) but its been taking a long time and its not fair to drag it out so much lmao.

so... what do ya’ll think i should do? cause i still have this big Christmas party thing planned (but like... its too late for christmas and was too ambitious) and the DR event finale won’t be done anytime soon. should i ignore the fact that its january and still do the christmas arc with toned down art? should I just stop making comics?? should i even continue AFR? i can’t expect an actual answer from you guys. this is something i have to figure out for myself...

that said, whenever i run across chara and asriel i get hit with such a strong urge to finish this story. because the end of it, (and i’m not even saying i regret the DR event because that conveyed plot things i wouldn’t have been able to do right through just the regular story w/out the darkworld) the end of AFR is something truly emotionally important to me and has SUCH a huge emotional pay off that I have to tell. so i can’t STOP afr, and i can’t just write a fic version of it cause that’s now how this story was written/structured around.

i’m kinda lost on what to do is what i’m saying. i’ll think about it, but i honestly think maybe I should just drop the christmas stuff and put the dr thing on hold (until i guess the mainstory is done and i can focus on that badass animation i have planned). would that be ok?

also, thanks for sticking by me even when i’ve been basically Gone for months. ya’ll are the best

[fairycosmos]

you seem like you loved your sister so much & neither of you deserve to live lives of pain. i have a sister too & i'm going to kill myself soon & everything's ready. she doesn't love me & definitely not the way you loved yours so unconditionally but i feel sorry about it anyway. but one can't always live in pain just to spare others, right? i lived enough. all i know is that you never deserved this and neither did she. i hope she's at peace. it was never your fault.

hey. i’m not going to pretend i know the details of the dynamic between you and your sister, nor am i going to act like i can change your mind about any of this as a stranger on the internet when you’re obviously going through very deeply rooted issues that need real medical attention n treatment. or at the very least the attention of someone in your actual life. at the same time, you know i’m not just going to let this sort of thing fly in my inbox either. so i’ll talk for a bit and if you want to listen and take some of it on board, then that’s great. if not, that’s ok too. i really hope you do though, even if your brain is screaming at you not to. that it’s all pointless and all the usual shit. again, i don’t know the ins and outs of your relationship with your sister, and i don’t mean to minimize whatever struggle you’ve had with her. i’m sure its been unimaginably difficult, and i do feel lucky to have been such great friends with my own. i know it’s not the case for everyone, so maybe my perspective is skewed. but i can tell you that the state of your relationship with her is not going to minimize the grief or the heartache losing you will cause. because death throws all of that shit right into perspective in a very real, unchangeable way. and it is like nothing you can currently think of. you are still siblings. you still had a whole life together, and you are the only people in the world who were raised the exact same way. there’s always going to be a bond and there’s always going to be some part of her that cares. before my sister died, we were not as close as we had been previously. we weren’t properly fighting or anything, but drugs estrange you from people and we had had more rough moments than usual. and some moments i didn’t recognize her. we weren’t spending as much time with each other either. and it didn’t change a thing. i think about the fights now, or all those hours i spent not talking to her when she was just in the other room. and i just know innately it was beyond stupid. but i don’t blame her, i don’t hate her. i don’t sit there and think i’m glad she’s gone just because there were moments she infuriated me. i know that’s my situation, and maybe ours are incomparable. and if she has been abusive to you in some way, i don’t blame you at all for feeling this way. but i just know that when you are suicidal you are biased against yourself, automatically. your brain will twist every relationship and situation in your life to justify killing yourself. it will force you to think in black and whites - according to your mind, it’s not that you’re struggling right now, it’s that your whole life is doomed. it’s not that you and your sister  have a difficult relationship, it’s that she can’t stand you and you guys will never ever reconcile. more often than not reality lies in the grey areas between. i think it’s important to rationalize and hold onto that whenever you’re able to. even if you have to force it. but don’t think for a second she’s not going to spend the rest of her life thinking about you. if you are unfamiliar with grief you might not understand the gravity of it. i’ve had people message me saying that seeing the way i am about my sister has made them entirely rethink taking their own lives because they did not realize how permanent and intense loss truly is. i’m not saying it’s the same for you, i don’t know what you’ve been through, but the fact that you already feel sorry towards her tells me you can see this for what it is more than you want to admit. there are people around you who love you. your absence is not going to be a blip for them, it is going to shape their lives because you shape their lives by being here. none of this is what you believe it to be right now.

but i’m not trying to guilt you into staying alive, either. i know that’s not fair. it’s not - and you’re right. you shouldn’t live purely for others, not always. especially when you’re in pain. but when you’re in a very bad place, sometimes it’s just about what’s going to get you to tomorrow, or the next moment. if that’s the thought of your family, and feeling bad about doing this to them, then welcome it. any reason is good enough. and maybe in time you’ll be able to get to a place where you live for yourself, in fact i’m sure of it, but right now you obviously believe that’s impossible. it’s absolutely not, but that’s likely how you feel. i’ve heard that being actively suicidal is such an intense feeling that it doesn’t last super long - you can spend weeks or months being passively suicidal, but the actual moment of being at risk of attempting always burns out rather fast. and people who have attempted generally report that that regret starts seeping in when it’s a bit too late. i really do not want you to have to experience that. instead of harming yourself, it is going to serve you so much more to work on trying to minimize the pain a little more each day, however you can. i don’t mean that in a patronizing way, i know you’re tired and i know it’s not that easy. all of this is easier said than done. but you do not have to kill yourself just because you have things ‘ready’. you don’t have to do anything. you don’t know what’s going to happen from one day to the next, and you don’t have to have a plan. just think about the present moment and what you can do to help yourself in a positive way right now. nothing is set in stone. clearly you have a lot going on and you need to think about seeking the help you need from those around you before you think seriously about anything else. whether it’s your parents, a family member, a suicide hotline, your doctor, a support group, any therapist or counsellor in your area. literally anything is worth the try, even just picking up the phone tomorrow and seeing what your options are. just let them know how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking, like you were able to do with me. you’re seeing things from a very specific point of view right now. i’m not bullshitting you when i say that talking to someone, analysing your thoughts and emotions out loud n learning how to cope with them in healthy ways that you can incorporate into your daily routine CAN change the image you have of yourself and your future in your head. and even the relationships w those around you. depression is an illness, it permeates every part of your life until you can’t see beyond it. and it needs intense treatment the same way any physical ailment does, but it is not a death sentence just because you’re exhausted in this moment. you might not be able to believe it right now, but you have to stick around to see that i’m right. you might as well. besides my family, the only other thing keeping me here is the knowledge that i am going to spend eternity dead any way. this is all just a flash in the pan and you might as well save everyone and yourself the heartbreak by experiencing it for what it is rather than trying to end it prematurely. anyway, i know i could go on and on about this so i’ll shut up but please. just consider the other choices in front of you, man. you deserve better. i sincerely believe it’s waiting for you. you haven’t lived enough because you’re still here, and there’s still a whole future waiting for you. that’s not a bad thing. there are ways to learn that it is not a bad thing. please consider reaching out to those around you or to a professional, please. my inbox will always be open if you need a friend, and you’re not alone. if you have the compassion to believe i don’t deserve pain, and that that shit wasn’t my fault, surely you can extend a little towards yourself too. please take care, get through minute by minute. i believe in u. 

https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines

[greatseedling]

💍: Have they ever been engaged before? What broke it off if so?

More & More! Headcanons > > { anon u opened pandora’s box of drama }​ 

so quick history lesson because i feel like context is kinda necessary to parsing through this, especially since idk who you are, if you know tales of symphonia: martel was engaged towards the end of her life to a half-elven companion, yuan ka-fai, who’d travelled along with her and her brother but she passed away before they’d ever have an opportunity to marry. in her wake, mithos, kratos, and yuan couldn’t cope with her death and instead of accepting her death they keep her soul in stasis in a magic space-tree seed and spend 4000 years 1) literally breaking the world to keep her soul alive 2) building a system of oppression and genocide to feed their various alt plans, 3) create a religious system using her name, make her a fake goddess, and set a practice of human sacrifice to generate body offerings as a resurrection strategy for putting martel’s soul back in her body. her brother, fiance, and best friend are all caught up in their grief of martel (for 4000 years) to the point of enabling each other in this shit show. meanwhile martel is watching this the entire time. 

so thats what martel came into isola with!! memories of a love that was really real and true and beautiful, but after 4000 years of grief really sorta turned into something she couldn’t recognize as love anymore from him. like, he eventually stood up and tried to do something about the situation and try to come to terms with her death... and she appreciates that.

ok so what happened in isola: this all happened in 2018... so some details are fuzzy. as seen above, yuan’s got a lot of trauma regarding martel, and martel isn’t very good with acknowledging her own trauma... so things just sorta got messy. i remember martel found a letter he’d wrote to her (like... in her memory) where he had said something about loving her forever and that broke her? because considering how his love had manifested for 4000 years after her death, she could see that as real and that in the moment really sparked deep trauma in her. she’s had 4000+ years of loving yuan but at this point even she had to step back from her own feelings and consider if he could even love her anymore, or if this obsession was too great. in either case she didn’t feel like she was alive to him even tho she was forced to be alive here in spirale. she knew he had a lot of trauma and emotional issues gong on, but she didn’t know if she could help, or if her being alive in front of him would keep him from improving. it was really heartbreaking for her as someone who loves him so much. i remember she cried a lot. 

so martel dumped yuan because she didn’t know what to do, honestly. she sorta fell back on the idea that he can’t love her as he once had, that she’s just a source of pain and this is a wound she can’t help heal, and she ran away from the situation by telling him that he’ll find someone new, a new love, that he will some day cherish and by doing that maybe she’ll die enough for his mind and he can actually grieve? oof, it was a lot. she didn’t want to break up with him. that was never premeditated or even anything she wanted. in the moment, it was all just so scary. it was all highly impulsive for martel and she honestly took months after to become functional again because it was so intense and many times she considered going back on what she had done. anyways, now its 2021! i think she would struggle to talk about her breakup or anything about their love from 4000 years ago still without getting upset. he was her first love and she’ll always love him. but she has accepted their breakup, and hopes he gives someone the love they deserve and that he receives so much love in return.

i think she put her old engagement ring on a necklace in her bedroom somewhere??

[irkenheretic]

okay i promised id do it and im doing it: Explaining The Plot Of That AU I’m Vague About: The Post

(as i was preparing to write this i actually got my 250th follower, which slapped)

so i’m just gonna start with the simple version, which is this: it’s a rebel AU which primarily centers around the tallest, who are both defective. they give up on trying to make any meaningful changes as figureheads, and instead direct their attention to being involved with the “neo defect revolution,” or NDR. they do manage to make one change as tallest- there is a garbage dump planet turned into a sanctuary for defectives (who in this au are executed once discovered,) and eventually enough of the populace finds out about it that the tallest have to deal with it. they finesse their way into kicking it out of the empire, so now it’s its own planet with its own rules, governments, and most importantly, immigration policies and protections

a lot of stuff happens and it’s gonna be structured using arcs, and each arc has a separate protagonist/deuteragonist/tritagonist lineup (but that doesnt mean the same lineup won’t be used multiple times!) and yes the insane list of OCs are for this au alone: some arcs are very OC-centric, some have OCs as supporting characters, and a couple are all-OC or mostly-OC. 

its going to be very longform and it’ll span from the tallest’s elite training days to twenty years after zim arrives on earth. (the 20 year gap btwn zim arriving on earth and the story proper isnt as tightly plotted as later tho.) the point is to see how a revolution on the scale of the NDR works, who was fucked over by defact laws, who was fucked over by other laws, etc. theres a lot of lore and a lot of headcanons i made for this AU and even a conlang. i am a being of hubris. itll be a series of fics, some multichapter and some oneshots. 

the series as a whole is gonna be called Invader Zim: Annexed or just Annexed for short. its a pun on an irken word that sounds similar but means the exact opposite. i am not explaining more bc itll be explained in the fic itself. but thats why the tag for it is #anx lmao

i didnt mean for this to be as long as it got but under the cut im gonna breakdown some of the early arcs:

so it all starts with a fanfic called Love Is The H-Word (no the “h-word” isn’t “hell.) it centers around red and purple as elites-in-training, who do a little whoopsie and have an egg. purple doesnt wanna smuggle it into a smeetery, bc then he’ll never see it again, so they go to the defect sanctuary (still a part of the empire at this point.) purple knows he’s defective while red has a hard time accepting that he is as well, due to events from his past. but being around all these other defects are starting to wear down his denial, and the fic is all about that. it also sets up some plot stuff, like how defects adopted a self-identifier in the word “heretic,” hence the sanctuary being named, “heretirk.” (hey look my url!) (no, the “h-word” is not heretic, either.) 

i dont wanna say what happens in that fic bc spoilers, but stuff Happens. its also when we meet some ocs that end up being important, and the existence of others are foreshadowed. this is also where we meet the tallests’ future advisor, rarl kove, for the first time, as a local who decides to keep them company. purple bonds with kove due to their shared interest in politics, while red reluctantly bonds with titch, a young irken (a smeet in heretirken standards, an adult in imperial standards- did i mention he and red are roughly the same age? lol) who is interested in military stuff and thrill-seeking and general destruction. titch is pissed because he claims his father is stealthing on devastis as a military commander, but won’t let titch sneak in as a soldier, as titch is deaf. 

(fun facts: in the au, “titch” is regional slang for “a little bit.” ironically, titch the character is above-average in height.)

due to titch’s deafness, he developed “gesturespeak,” irken sign language, so he can communicate. this existing becomes important later

a oneshot called invade the system is right after h-word in publishing order. it details zim’s exploits in leaving foodcourtia, where he was assigned and infiltrating the invading academy he eventually graduates from (in this au, zim is too short to be an invader, which sucks because the hight minimums for the military are really short to begin with lmao)

the fic chronoligically after H-Word focuses on red and purple being back in their platoon on devastis, specifically red navigating his training and his relationships with two defective platoonmates, pon and zi (who are in h-word a little,) after the realization that he too is defective. it also focuses on how the irken military works, and how they train their soldiers. 

the first arc overall focuses on red and purple going thru training and such, and ends after they graduate and are on the field, working to get commander rank. (they planned to gain commander rank then leave and go back to heretirk to train an army there, as heretirk has.... no army.) in the middle of this, they’re pulled out and told they are to become the next tallest. they debate over staying and taking the job or just running to heretirk, and they ultimately decide to stay.

the next arc i call the “bridge,” tbh. its less tightly plotted than the other arcs; fics are spread apart from each other chronologically and all that. it spans the time after the tallest being appointed to a little after zim arrives on earth. it also has a couple of anthologies focusing on imperial defects- each chapter is a new character. these guys are all important and the easiest way for me to introduce their backstories without cluttering everything up is anthology style, lmao. other things that happen are a look into how the tallest work, eventually culminating with the resolution of the tallest having to Deal With Heretirk, tenn’s rescue from meekrob, and zim on earth obtaining a half-irken smeet named pip due to stealing an Unethical Science Experiment from dib (which is pip.) the bridge is basically just. “heres some stuff that happens between point A and point B so when we get to point B you’re not confused as all hell.” 

the next arc focuses on zim. in the first fic, pip is sick and zim is trying to get into his neighbor’s pants, to cope. this basically sets up that zim in this au has no idea how to find personal fulfillment in living- he’s only OK if he focuses on pleasing someone else, be it taking care of pip or doting on the neighbor, some rando human named piqu (pronounced, “peek.”) this is mainly a cute romance story with the underlying veneer of “a child is slowly and painfully dying” in the background. fun! 

without spoiling the circumstances, zim and pip end up on heretirk, which at this point is its own independent planet. pip is in the hospital for most of it so zim has to do his own thing. computer fans rejoice bc hes basically zims dad at this point, who tells him to go outside and get some fresh air and talk to the locals instead of schmooping or screaming in anxiety. im sneakily introducing more characters like ini, the “next-gen zim;” a short bio-engineer (she works on PAKs) who was constantly passed over by everyone because they dont trust someone that short or they dont trust someone that spazzy, even though shes actually brilliant. also her brother mo, who’s a pilot that NOBODY will teach military-class ships to (at this point, HTK has a population of ex-military that had their old ships, but still no formal army) because he doesnt talk and they think hes “slow” as a result. for the curious, he is physically able to talk most times, he just doesnt like it. zim ends up teaching him how to fly military-class which ends up being important laterrr

(haha ini and mo. wheres meenie and minie? ILL GET TO THEM)

no really, theyre quadruplets. named ini, myni, minie, and mo. these are real characters. 

minie isnt introduced till later. shes too cool to be the side character in someone elses arc. she is feel uncomfortable when we are not about her.

myni is busy palling around with pip and pip’s friend “elly” (real name elevenn, with two N’s.) elly is a half-meekrob War Crime Baby and tenn’s smeet. he has vision problems (he can “see” energy signatures of things, as opposed to conventional sight. everything is monochrome and he has to really focus to see like, words on a paper. also fuck tablets) but the trade-up is telekinetic powers (that he cant use too much or his brain will melt. fun!) this isnt relevant until the arc AFTER zim’s, where they end up poking around a historical site due to myni’s interest in that kind of thing, and they find logs of an old revolution (that was actually pretty successful in their goal, before they were caught and executed,) that lead them to a man named lefy. he helps with revolutions and helped these guys, and the trio go to seek him out; myni because he wants to impress his parents with helping them, pip because after they’ve recovered enough to walk around and do stuff, feel like they need to justify the choice to save their life and make their dad proud and all that, elly because he doesnt want pip to get hurt and die. And thats where the stuff REALLY starts happening and i cant tell u more sorry

this seemed kind of disjointed but thats bc i cant really be too detailed otherwise id like.... spoil it lmfao. but thats the summary of the first few arcs.

[tangerinegod]

Hello! I am sorry to bother you but I am a senior getting ready for college this year. I am in the US and I wanted to major in the same thing you did, do you have any possible tips for me? I still haven't even looked for colleges that would be best for animation majors so I figured if you were up to giving out any tips/saying any basic ideas if you wanted to/if you had the time to then maybe I'll have a better idea! I apologise for if I sound weird! I'm tried to word it correctly but I can't 😿

hi!! i’m totally down to share my experiences! someone else also had some questions so i’m going to put them all together in this post haha, hopefully this helps! it’ll get pretty long so apologies ahead of time but art school is a lot to think about so i wanna be as helpful as i can around it, its a lot of time and money. I’m gonna put it all under a read more cus it is really really long!

i wanna start off with the fact that I had the privilege of attending school in a financially stable environment, my parents were/are really supportive so w merit scholarship i only came out with around 20-30k in debt and i also had housing support my entire time in school. they were ok with me focusing on academics so i didn’t hold a retail job unless i was out of school like summer/winter break. Ofc though i regularly take commissions/do merch/cons to try and pay for all bills that arent rent cus i did want to be financially independent where it was possible. I also did try and work during the semester but everytime i did my body would deff start to breakdown from the fact that i didnt wanna compromise schoolwork with jobs.. so just read ahead know this experience is from a student who was able to attend focusing only on school work for most of the time!

the biggest thing is knowing art school is not required to become a professional in either freelancing or industry! there are a huuuge amount of online tools and classes these days that provide the exact same education and for cheaper too. i think it depends on what experience you prefer/can handle/want but it’s definitely possible to make art/animation art your living without higher education. the thing that college will for sure give you though is the ability to meet deadlines, work even when you dont want to, and connections with peers+teachers. i think the connections part is invaluable because you’re basically coming out with a network of people you already know and who know you! 

also its good to know if you want to attend/can handle art school! it’s a lot of time and energy and students get burned out really fast. the best piece of advice i got before going was ‘if you draw every single day, even if its for only like 5-10 minutes or a doodle for a whole year you should be fine’ consistency is super key because you’re attending school to draw, and you’ll have to create work for stuff you aren’t excited for at some point or another. burnout is extremely real and the only reason i didn’t experience it was probably because i got super into drawing naruto fanart again inbetween sophomore and junior year! it helped give me something to draw seperated from school which is the only thing i was drawing for since i had entered rip. a heads up id also consider myself a workaholic so i fit in ok with the ‘art school’ environment but it is suuper unhealthy. if you are fantastic at managing your schedule then it’s definitely possible to take care of yourself! freshman year i got 8 hours a sleep a night and only pulled all nighters for some second semester finals at the end. sophomore year + up though i ended up prioritizing hw over sleep and like for sure, definitely shortened my life span. there’s another q down below where i’ll go more into detail but ya, be careful w ur work balance!

another tip especially for animation is knowing for a fact what type of animation you’re looking to go into, and what the school is offering. I didn’t think i’d get into art school at the time so i only applied to two places + decided if i didnt get into either id attend community to get credits out of the way while building portfolio. honestly? i did not do a lot of research LOL but like i did end up having the chance to tour and stuff! just know that each school will have a very different curriculum. The main differences are schools that prioritize 3D (cg animation, cg modeling, ect) and 2D/traditional (hand drawn, ‘oldschool’, digital or traditional based) this is a huge difference so make sure you do research for it! in most cases a 2D/traditional program will also offer 3D since it’s at the forefront of the industry animation wise rn. My school taught 2D but like hand drawn on physical paper 2D, frame by frame. while it was a good experience it’s super outdated because digital tools make it way faster + easier! i’d recommend looking for a program that is digital 2D over traditional 2D. 

if after your senior year covid is still affecting campuses in the US to keep them shut down i’d recommend attending a community college to get credits and then transferring into school. one of the negatives is paying money for gened classes when ur not there for them; if you can get them out of the way sooner and cheaper there is absolutely no negative + you could graduate earlier or use the extra time for better work or to work a job! 

these are all the general tips i think i’d give on like a broad basis of attending or not to think about? let me know if u have more q’s! someone asked q’s im answering below that go more into personal experiences + work culture so heres those:

- how many hours a week do u spend studying, in class, otherwise making art? like how much of ur life does it consume?

I was basically working on art.... 24/7! since i wasnt working a job at the same time i crammed as many credits as possible into my schedule so on avg i did 18 credit semesters (around 6 classes) art classes go for 6 hours and non art go for 3, so i’d spent around 30-35 hours in class a week! hw wise it varied on the class but combined it would be around 35-50 hours a week... im guessing? on average studio classes would have 8-10 hours of hw, maybe 5 for a light week, and gened classes 5 hours w them all combined. or this was probably how things were before junior year? junior+senior year i had thesis + everything else ontop.. i’d spend around 30-40 hours on thesis a week with other classes ontop of that bc my film was super long cus im a dummy! 

- is it hard going to art school n realising that altho u were probably quite talented… so is everyone else? Like. all of a sudden. ur not special and everyone seems as good as u, you know? More generally, how do u deal with comparison?

kinda?? i think instead of the idea of like you vs others it feels more of like a competition at first to be the best. this varies hugely on school culture though; my animation year was really friendly with each other and get along extremely well, so my answer to this is v different than some others who attended different schools. i think that the idea of ‘comparison’ only lasts a portion of the first year because at some point you realize that it’s not a who’s better as much as its a ‘these are my coworkers’ type thing? like healthy competition 100% because we’re all working to improve but i think most of us learned pretty early on that viewing each other as peers going into the same workforce helped a lot. also at some point everyone develops their own style/starts to develop their artistic preferences so there isn’t a way to compare whos 'better’ anymore? i dont think there ever is tbh because style is appealing based off of an individuals preferences. If anything realizing everyone else is also amazing makes you wanna work harder ig? or thats how i felt! it’s inspiring to be surrounded by so many people who create such amazing work. 

- is there a lot of workaholic culture? all nighter culture?

100000% there can be a workaholic and all nighter culture. i know people who avoided it and thats honestly fantastic because i fall super easily into that pit. sometimes i’ll pull all nighters on a personal project just because i really want to finish it... i am definitely considered a workaholic all the way through and its not healthy rip... i’d estimate at the worst i was pulling 2-3 all nighters a week and only 4-5 hours of sleep on the nights i didn’t? that was only for one year tho, after that i was like yeah ok this is really bad for my health in the long run LOL so i tried to cut it down to one all nighter a week and around 5-6 hours of sleep the rest of the week! by senior year my decision to cram in full semesters paid off and i was able to consistently get around 7 hours of sleep a night + no all nighters minus finals since my schedule was lighter despite thesis 😭 while there is that culture i don’t think people view it as like a badge of honor or something to be proud of anymore which is good, we mostly view it as a flaw of the art school system and something that needs to be fixed!!

- are you glad u did it? how did u know it was what u wanted?

i am glad i did it! i’m definitely in a limbo right now of if it was worth both my time, money, and my parents money rip but i think with what i got out of it i definitely wouldn’t be as far skill wise or knowledge wise when it comes to the art industry. i would say it was only worth it for be because i had so much support going in though so i was able to focus so much on improving. if i had only been able to put in part of the effort and not make full use of the resources provided i would honestly have a different answer.. 

i knew it was what i wanted when i realized i really couldn’t see myself pursuing a different profession happily! despite all the bumps and stuff im fully in love with drawing still and feel honored that it’s a field that can provide a living. my second profession choice was to go into culinary school? and third option i think going was into music cus i was also a band kid hehe.  

- how do u cope with ur hobby becoming ur job? how do u deal with art going from something u do for fun to something u do on command constantly?

i think seperating work art from personal art is important! in my case im doubling naruto into being personal work so i have something to fall back onto that isn’t work related. its been a hyperfixation for 12+ years? so drawing it at this point is just like personal art imo. some people have hobbies outside of art and only draw for their job! i think after attending classes for so long the idea of hobby turning into job feels extremely natural? also i enjoy doing it so thats a huge plus! 

sorry this is SO long but i hope i answered your guys’ questions! if you have more just lmk!

[thatselfshipzone]

Ey why not throw this here since it's what I made this blog for anyways haha

Had a dream of Akainu last week where I was scared out of my mind of him but was somehow romantically involved with him. Of course that just inspired a spiraling story of self insert afterwards 🤷‍♀���

Basically just kind of like a delivery person who takes notes from one admiral/higher up to another who then also picked up cleaning some of the offices of the higher ups secretly as thanks for the support the marines had provided her due to [things I'm coping with rn I guess? 🤔]. Ends up finding Akainu in his office one night and gets interrogated cause tbf it's pretty suspicious going around offices after hours and starts a form of familiarity with SI calling Akainu "Admiral Sakazuki" anytime addressing him and losing a notable amount of fear as they see him as another 'normal' person so gotta give em a chance.

Yadda yadda one time SI finds a child crying while going around cleaning, tries to comfort but finds it odd, kid says father is Sakazuki, SI realizes something off “Admiral Sakazuki... doesn’t have any children” - close to Akainu office and knows he has a pistol hidden in desk (its not canon so lol details) and makes a break for it when ‘child’ transforms into large angry pirate that had been trying to attack Akainu. Yadda yadda SI gets thrown into wall, hits head, makes it to Akainu’s office and calls idk a security office type of thing where lad di da Akainu had been in for idk monitoring officers or checking general statuses or something and here’s the urgent call as SI grabs desk pistol and kinda accepting probably gonna die.

Akainu heads to his office and comes in to pirate choking and punching shit outta SI face (cause they shot him and ruined his whole plan whatever whatever I’m a drama hoe) and he comes and melts the arm pirate’s using to punch SI and SI barely conscious so can register he’s there and then out like a horribly concussed light and Akainu holding himself back so that pirate can be interrogated but u know he an inch from killing that guy not cause he hurt SI but cause he a pirate on marine ground and in his office. He does feel a sense of responsibility so is sure to get SI to medic (who very mad about being woken up) and yadda yadda SI gets bandaged up, he gets stricter about cleaning and basically is like ‘nope can’t clean any offices. ok mine but only when I’m here.’

And idk that’s where I’ve gone so far cause I’m nerd and gotta be sure things are semi ‘realistic’ in nature cause he a fuckin bitch I really don’t know why my brain was like ‘yes think of him’ cause i hate the dude but love exploring characters lmao

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff’s Best of 2017

WARNING: I’d like to thank everybody who was here for me when times were low. Thank you, take care out there, and enjoy.

Cartoons; the one thing that I will continuously watch until I go blind. 2017 was an emotional handful and an exhausting trudge, can’t deny that, and I’m counting down the best cartoons/animations I’ve seen and loved this year in no particular order. Only two rules, no sneak previews of future projects (sorry to Unikitty and Hideo Kojima). Here we go....

10. HANAZUKI: FULL OF TREASURES

This was a sleeper hit tbh. The fact all the episodes were free on Youtube blew my mind, but having a well structured story with a lovely cold space color palette, actually relatable characters, and a sinister undertones below its tender, colorful charm to be as a nice headliner to when Friendship is Magic came back in spring. It was an inviting start for the year, and with the guy behind Motorcity and Superjail taking the helm and having two more seasons being produced, Hanazuki is something I find is in good hands come 2018.

9. LITTLE WITCH ACADEMIA

Four long years. I waited FOUR long goddamn years...and fuck me was it worth it. A spectacle is what I can call Little Witch Academia. Almost every episode dazzled me with its stage made bravado and confidence that always made me say, “Okay. Let’s make it til’ the next week”. Even when things got serious, LWA knew how to have fun and make the most of its concept. There is a sense of predictability sometimes, but the series would still throw you some good curve balls to never lose your interest. What did lose my interest was Netflix’s sorry excuse of a dub. The movies: fine. But Netflix, try that again, with any other anime, and I will rip your nuts off.

8. Now I might be cheating here since it’s not a cartoon, but shit it might as well have been

CUPHEAD

The effort that went into this is phenomenal, beyond the many other games of the year no doubt. While not everything is animated, I could tell they were cutting corners in some areas, the frame BY frame animated enemies, bosses, and effects made this one of the most visually colorful and alive games to date, next to Mario Odyssey. Not only was this game a frustrating yet joyous romp to start and finish, but the music and art flawlessly channeled the essence of a time where the word “cartoon” was only starting to make good progress. My favorite character would have to be Satan King Dice, whom is an animated homage to great musician and composer Cab Calloway. His stache, his clothing, even his Cheshire grin captured the cool, jazzy vibe Calloway always provided in his performances. He and his fight was the highlight of Cuphead for me and I hope this game, if a sequel isn’t possible, is well remembered for its unexpected excellence in how a video game can look.

7. CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS/L-EGGO BATMAN

Faithful is what I can describe these two. Captain Underpants was just an awesome book to elementary schooler me, but to see a well animated, well written movie about a dude in his underwear was nothing short of a simple yet powerful masterpiece. As for Batman, this is one of the three truest DC and Batman movies around this time, and it has a gay undertone with Batman and the Joker’s relationship (how can you not pull that off, Suicide Squad?). While not a big fan of lego myself, The Lego Movie put my faith WB making another one equally as good, and they did not disappoint. It’s a shame it got snubbed at the Golden Globes, it deserves the award more than the Boss Baby. Plus it had a Superman that didn’t bore me while having a terrible CGI lip job that’s only made worse by his two way dick nose....

Justice League costed 300,000,000 dollars.............

6. DANGER & EGGS

To me, this series felt like one of the few steps forward the world took to make the LGBT+ community feel more welcome and inspired in public outlets; a small step, but progressive none the less. It is a colorful and lively action comedy, a first to be created by a transgender person, where you can see a non-binary character, a pride fest, diverse background characters of orientation and ethnicity, and it feels like they are a part of the world and not footnotes that states that you should respect queer, bi, ace, and so on based on a say so. It’s a show don’t tell type of series and it brightened my summer before I had to remind myself that college exists and is expecting me.

5. TANGLED: THE SERIES

*ring ring* “Hello?” Ye, Disney? How fucking dare you?

My hype for this was undoubtful. I love Tangled the movie, I consider it one of my favorite 2010 disney flics beside Wreck it Ralph and Moana. And when the art style was up for a preview for this (?), I just sat and waited until it finally premiered and damn. I never stopped loving it, but it is until episode 16 where the series starts to hit high note after high note with the direction it’s going for the story. The fact that this all takes place not long after the movie makes the thought where Eugene and Rapunzel finally get married feels all the more earned. It’s working its way to a happily ever after, I adore this show, and this makes me appreciate Frozen a bit more for how far that’s fallen in the world after its one year of fame. Seriously, Gigantic had to get chopped, but Olaf can still live? Give me a break, Disney.

“Sir, I understand your enthusiasm....but this is Domino’s.” Then I will have the 5.99 large with Salchicha and pepperoncini with a liter sprite on delivery.

4. MADE IN ABYSS

This was so beautiful, so awesome, and much better than...

I wasted my life and I cannot say that I will ever reclaim that time proactively again the Anime

Made in Abyss is like Hunter x Hunter except Gon’s more booksmart and Kilua’s a timid robot. The bond between Riko and Reg was a fucking dynamic and heartfelt where Riko’s helps build Reg up and Reg kept Riko and himself safe with his bodily arsenal. That and this series has the best world building where they not only give the low down on almost everything about the titular abyss, but the atmospheric environments and the designs of the inhabiting creatures made this a unique world to want to explore myself. It knew what to show, and knew what to share. When things got serious, I actually tensed up at the thought of shit truly going down; they knew how to soften the terror while maniacally instill fear in us for the safety of the traveling kids. I want to recommend this link to an awesome breakdown of how great Made in Abyss was. However, as it seems that a season two has gone down the abyss as well, and I’m afraid it can’t come back up.

3. LET’S BE HEROES!!

Is it safe to call this the M.U.G.E.N. of cartoons? Just an all up mashup of stuff I love in a Saturday morning? Campy, action, and laid back, this is something I can be sober or grab some kush and I would be enjoy the show just the same. They even have references you might not have ever heard of, but might like the search. OK KO’s a popcorn cartoon, it’s not for everybody, but it established itself well into the modern CN era when Adventure Time finally has to move on. 

2. SAMURAI JACK

Getting this out of the way: episode 6 toiled the final season of Samurai Jack for me. Not gonna go into detail, but if that episode was remade, I would have been more satisfied looking back. However, that does not stop me from saying this is how a revival should be, this is how a reboot should work, THIS is how you can bring nostalgia back. Samurai Jack was great back then, but this season, wrapping up the loose plight of our boy trying to get back to the past and defeat the demon Aku, was satisfactory to many fans. Even those who’ve never heard or remember Jack could just enjoy this as a dynamic mini-series; it gives you context of what happened before without having to recap the original plot of it. For non fans, it’s mostly about an ageless samurai, longing to return to his own time, stuck in the future for over 50 years to the point of losing his honor and his mind. It’s a binge worthy 10 episode season, originally intended to be a movie, and aside from polar opinionated finale, this made Samurai Jack feel great to love again.

1. TRUE AND THE RAINBOW KINGDOM

This is a personal choice from me because 2017 was an honest to god terrible year for me; nothing but turmoil, season to season, and the struggle to cope with that despair in a way I felt actually could help. However, this small series here boosted my spirits because even with it being a show for little kids that I originally wanted to watch as a joke, the competent, enthusiastic spirit it had just moved me in a way that cartoons that I love for eons could only try to do on a whim. It’s not the best made cartoon, it’s not something I sincerely recommend to you all, but it helped me realize that the best thing about life is finding and seeking things that don’t just distract you from the hard and testing times reality puts on you, but gives you a moment of honest bliss and happiness that can influence your outlook on looking forward to better things because things like this, cartoons like this, CAN make you feel better. 

*sniff* Which is why, the actual cartoon of the year....

1. is STEVEN U., BABY!

Just kidding, guys! You will NEVER win, Steven!

TEEN TITANS GO! WINS IT AGAIN, BABYYYY! ONCE AGAIN BABY (i don’t even like it no more...), YOUR NEW FAVORITE SHOW (i don’t even fucking like it no...) RISES TO THE TO-

But Steven Universe in Space, though. That’s when it’ll be great again.

[i-have-a-desire-to-not]

hey i’m gonna rant under the thing here so scroll past if u don’t want to read that but if u do i’m gonna smack some good o’l warnings/what to expect right here please don’t report me

warnings: mentions of suicide, mentions of self harm, swearing and i mean a lot of it, depression, self hatred, parents, crying, probably typos and lots of ‘em, did i say parent, and i think that might be it

ok so i think i did that right ok anyway

ok so i locked my door and was crying and fighting the urge to either sh or write a suicide note and sh happens and my little bro knocks on my door and i say leave me alone he says no i say leave me alone cuz u know i want to be left the fuck alone that’s parey of the reason i locked my fucking door ok and he says why i say cuz i want to be alone and by this point i’m pretty pissed and this goes on for a while and he goes and gets a key and attempts to unlock it and by this point my mom gad called my phone twice and i ignored it and after a minute of him trying to unlock my door i opened it for him and storm down to my moms room and say i want to be alone not to nice but i’m not swearing because my mom doesn’t know i do that and i go back to my room to fund it’s fucking locked so i got get the key my mom goes in and wand wants me to show her my arms i say know she says she wants me to come and get her if i need her and i say ok and she will be back to check on me later and not to lock my door i saw ok and she left i’m mad and i am trying not to cry i feel guilty for not telling her anything really but then i think it’s for the best she don’t know shit so she doesn’t cry i really don’t want her to cry again so i block the door and debate once more on the suicide not thing and started one pls don’t report means she came a knockong and insisted o. seeing my wrist and i caved and cried and told about a few of the lies i have told and i was telling some truth with my music being a damn coping mechanism and she said ok u can use ur phone at night if u need to and to tell u i felt relived and to cut out some minor detail my mom said to come and get her when she needed me and i told her i wouldn’t do it or we try to do it i lied i fucking lied but i’m gonna go back to my thighs for a while and my mom is a dumb ass because she thought i was using my finger bails on my wrist but no i was cutting just like on my fucking thighs i mean really man and i asked her what told ber i was sh and she said when i locked my door so u mean to tell me it wasn’t the fucking sweatshirts and hoodies i was wearing all the fucking time or how i would only roll up one sleeve when i was helping clean the kitchen or shawn i was washing my hands or even how i switched to putting on my clothes in the bathroom after i shower and not in my closet like bitch how damn blind are u and so now i’ve decided i’m gonna just pretend better and pretend like eveything is fine better i’m gonna have to not lock my door jeez man i mean it was the locked door so u mean to tell me if i had not locked my door u wouldn’t have known damn alright then and then she had the fucking audacity to tell me to go to sleep and at this point i’m about to fucking kill someone me or her idk bexcuse i have told her time and time again i am so fucking scared to sleep its started to feel like a really shitty phobia and for her to finall get it i had to compare it to (to being literally terrified) touching a spider and (it being good for you) eating vegetables sometimes i want to fucking die pls some one fucking kill end my miserable fucking life idk or care how you do it just take me out (as in murder) i know it’s selfish but i want to just die i’m so close to committing that i have to spend minutes taking myslef out of it and she is just beginning to understand how bad this is and what i am going thru and i am terrified of going to therapy because i don’t want to go to a mental hospital that is terrifying to me i really don’t want to go please kill me and gosh mama if u see this if i say leave me alone i mean leave me alone i locked my door for a fucking reason man it was supposed so say fuck off ok that’s the end

[archived--hell]

1, 2, 17, honestly all of them if you’re up to it

1 - already answered 

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

L O R D T jupiter fuck man got damn id die for jupiter 

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

i have adopted characters before, but ive never done anything with them, and i have received characters Back from people but besides that nah

4. A character you rarely talk about?

HI PLEASE I BEG OF YOU ASK ABOUT THE GODS PLE AS E IM DYING

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?

fuck uh.. honestly if its only semi popular would i do this bc being Well Known would be nice, yeah, but.. it scares me? idk but uh probably leo or aero, theyre two boys i hold close to my heart

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?

:) eldur and leo kinda? idk i try not to make any of them look alike rip

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?

YES! theyre actually all part of one universe called cooking with demons! i have a whole game planned out for the man cast kinda? but all in all its all set within one universe, with multiple different stories occurring within it jhfdksg

8 - already answered

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

unless specfifically made for them upon request, no. ive already tried that once and it lead to me losing any and all control i had over my characters. At this moment, i only “share” a few ocs with my boyfriend @coffee-burglar and even then, its taken almost a year to even be able to do that

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?

uh, all of them are kinda complicated for me, but as of right now, that would go to leos full form. (if u want a ref hmu and ill post it, but it wont be my art)

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?

like a ray of sunshine? yeah! angel and stitch would fit perfectly for that!

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

@coffee-burglar their oc chrome n koh,  or derek but thats bc im a hoe

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?

aero, jhor, innis, leo are all trouble makers to some degree, leo being the most trouble some

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

uhhhh fuck what counts as tragic?

i guess id have to say leo or jupiter mostly, but eldur fits too

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?

if youd let me i would yell about these fucks for hours on end, ive done it

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?

the best but wouldnt enjoy it: Jupiterthe best and would absolutely enjoy it: colby

17. Any OC OTPs?

stitch/lavaaero/kohcolby/derek/inniswill/happiness aeyr/Eberictderek/Xhaztolleo/eldur

18. Any OC crackships?

jhfkdfsjghdfkjhgdkfjsgl i never talk abt it but will/aero is fucking A+

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

ah,, leo. i originally made him to project the worst in myself onto, and because of that ive made his life a living shit hole. but,, recently ive been hell bent on giving him a good ending, one where he heals, and lives his life ok, where he finally, finally has a chance to be happy and get help. its,, kind of been a tiny growing point for me? he just, means a lot to me because of that haha

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

uhhh all of their voice claims are songs n such but only a few of them actually sing in canon! heres the voice claims of the ones who do sing:

Aero - thats his voice, but hed probably more likely to sing Something Like ThisAngelStitch - this is her voice! but shed be much more likely to sing something a lot more upbeat, kind of like thisColby (its jeremy from bmc jghfdkg)

and one i dont have a voice claim for yet that does sing canonically is Sycamore! 

21. Your most artistic OC

!!!! oh thatd easily be will! hes nothing professional at all, but he does enjoy drawing and making diy type projects :0c hazels also artistic but with food :0c but what would you expect from a kitchen witch

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?

Hi My Names Skinny Penis And No One Has Ever Even Looked At My Ocs For More Than Two Seconds

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

lordt all of them would fit that, but the one thats changed the most? lordy thatd probably be will! he used to be a persona that was mostly only interested in dying and getting fucked, but now hes? evolved into a fully fledged character, and has even changed from being human lmao

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?

jupiter, simply because he is The Biggest Comfort i have. hes,,, really important to me and i love him a lot

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

:) its bold of you to assume they dont all resemble me in some way. the most though? damian. lazy motherfucker with 200 emotional issues and no motivation to fix any of them

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?

…yeah.

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?

Nope, most tend to be born from ideas spawned by me n my bf concepting about my ocs, and what would happen if this thing happened? yknow?

28. Your most dangerous OC?

He has yet to be revealed >:)c his names icarus

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

INNIS, GOD INNIS WOULD AND HED PROBABLY DIE

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?

secret: damiannot so secret: colby

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

uHHhhHh 

damian would probably have a very shitty coded blog theme (or default) and would genuinely only reblog shitty, abstract memes, and nice food recipes for hazel to make him

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?

protagonist? if youre going for the scared baby, colby. if ur going for the stoic “thats weird but ok” one, innis or aero.antagonist tho???? Leo and angelica :)

33. Your shyest OC?

uh, a oc thats genuinely shy and not just anxiety filled? angel :0c shes had a very limited interaction pool with anything thats not other angels so she tends to shy away from others bc she really, really doesnt want to get into awkward situations

34. Do you have any twin characters?

Jupiter and leo!

35. Any sibling characters?

Jupiter, leo, angelica, damian, eldur

jupiter, leo, damian, and angelica are all related via their dad, while eldur is related to damian via their mom

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?

uhh if im understanding this question right yeah i do! derek, koh, n a lot of others belong to @coffee-burglar ! ive just roped them into my universe dkjfhkdjgh

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

Op All Of My Characters Are Inhuman

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?

surprisingly? aero! hes got really good rhythm and can actually dance really well, its kinda scary

39. Introduce any character you want

:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Ill let yall have a choice, pick one

1.) Lust2.) Greed

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

fond?? uh,, not really. but damian does have a very important memory attached to him.

tw for suicide ment hjgkdfs

with damian, i created him after i tried to kill myself and was stuck in a mental hospital. i had just finished reaing the first shadowhunters book, and decided to try and draw the first demon(???? was that what he was?? im a dumbass and its been over 2 years) you met, which had bright blue hair and if i remember correctly, electric green eyes? but yeah. i made him to cope with all the mental stress i had while being forced to be in that hospital, and hes become very close to my heart because of that

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

!!!!!!!!! yeah!!! my boyfriends drawn damian and most of my characters bgjkfdhgkfdsgl but one i do hold close to my heart (bc at the time, i barely knew them) was when @stuck-in-the-ghost-zone drew aeyr! it made me really happy tbh. i still have it saved to my phone actually!!!

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?

uhhhh,,, provided that they found a way to get anything involving earth and their beliefs itd probably be either angel or colby. angel enjoys learning anything and everything she can, while colby enjoys hearing about the Tea™ that comes with greek shit

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

lordt ok

i really just? enjoy making demons really, or anything that doesnt quite fit “conveniently attractive” in at least one form they have. (i also favor making guys bc im Gay)

44. Something you like about your OCs in general

how well theyre coming together, for so long, their stories have been little fractures and pieces that never fit together. Fragments. but now, theyre almost fully put together and its… wonderful to see

45. A character you no longer use?

a hi have.. one. their name was angel aura, a steven universe oc. i got rid of them because of too many.. bad things.

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?

not directly, but yes. it.. actually helped me give a lot of them a ok life, or at least a good ending

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?

@coffee-burglar eldur, colby, will n a few others lmao

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

ELDUR GOD ELDUR PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE THIS KID BACK TO HIS MOM

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

damian

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

ghjkfgkfdhgklfjhglkjdfhgslfjdgh give me a actual thing to talk about bc im dying op