#its one of capaldi's best moments

[lena-cant]

I need everyone who got back into Doctor Who because of the new specials with Tennant back who dropped out midway through Capaldi's run to PLEASE go back and watch series 10 it's legit one of the most consistently good series of new who. I have a LOT of problems with Moffat as a writer but he actually managed to deliver a well-paced season of television for the first time in his damned life. Capaldi is at his best in S10 (no longer being forced through his dumb midlife crisis plotline) and Bill is great and it finally justifies Missy and turns her into one of the most developed Master incarnations we've seen. The finale especially is a really standout story and one of my favorites in the entire show.

[ectomoog]

How to Get Your Friends into Doctor Who (2005) - A Guide

Ok I really like Doctor Who, and of course I like introducing people to it, but oh my god do you forget how randomly terrible and/or cringy and/or uncomfortably Moffat-esque some of the episodes are, *especially* when you're watching it with someone who has no idea what to expect.

SO I made a list of ten episodes that I think would be the best loose sequence of episodes for a causal introduction to the show...

But first, some requirements:

It has to be a one-off (NO TWO-PARTERS), low commitment, etc

It can't require watching previous OR following episodes to be enjoyable

It needs to actually be good

It needs to represent Doctor Who well

In a social setting where you're showing a group of people an episode, most of these would be fine. Watching consistently with one person however, loosely follow this order, and if your person decides at any point that they want to commit to actually watching the show, skip straight back to The End of The World and watch Series 1. Ok list time...

1. Rose (S1, E01)

I think Rose is the perfect episode of Doctor Who to start on. It's campy, it's fun and weird and it sets up almost everything you need to know for the Revival Era. You get the companion, the Doctor, regular Doctor Who tropes and themes, etc. Plus, if they can't get past the Mickey bin scene, this show probably isn't for them anyway.

2. Dalek (S1, E06)

Skipping a few episodes into Series 1, Dalek is a great way to get a feel for the format of the show, and also a great and intentional introduction to the Daleks. The Doctor and the companion turn up in a mysterious place and have to battle an alien force and really unlikeable one-off side characters, the works basically. It's a fun monster-movie of an episode.

3. Vincent and The Doctor (S5,E10)

Jumping a whole five series forward, Vincent and The Doctor is a notoriously heart-wrenching historical that I think is a classic (if a little indulgent) example of Doctor-meets-famous-historical-figure. It's nice to jump to a different Doctor and a different era of the show, to get a feel for its' diversity. Although there's a few moments relevant to the greater series plot, it's contained, very pretty, very sweet, and easy to understand.

4. Midnight (S4, E10)

Midnight just feels like an essential episode to be honest. A fantastic one-off sci-fi horror/thriller, with one of David Tennant's best performances, a great introduction to the 10th Doctor. It's a shame you don't get more Donna, but I think this one would be my go-to if someone asked for the best episode to watch stand-alone, just based on how genuinely great it is.

5. Heaven Sent (S9, E11)

Jumping to Series 9 with another critically-acclaimed episode, but also one that I think is an amazing introduction to the 12th Doctor. Heaven Sent is a little unconventional, and I'm not 100% sure it should be here, but it does give Capaldi a whole episode to just act his ass off, and he completely delivers. It's artsy, mysterious and dramatic, very much the high concept sci-fi style of Moffat's later scripts, so I think an appropriate watch.

6. The Voyage of The Damned (2007 Special)

If you're not in a festive mood, try The Lodger or Demons of the Punjab instead

The Christmas episodes are too iconic not to show, and as far as Christmassy vibes, celebrity cameos and whimsical concepts go, this one is a fun one. This is David Tennant in his prime, with Kylie Minogue, a massive budget and a romp of a script.

6. Blink (S3, E10)

I mean, duh, but genuinely I think Blink is just *too good* not to include. A tense, creepy, tightly-written piece of horror TV with twists and turns and drama, it's considered the best episode of Doctor Who for a reason, and along with Midnight is an amazing stand-alone episode. It's not super conventional, but all the timey-wimey stuff is very Doctor Who.

6. The Mummy on The Orient Express (S8, E08)

If you're a Tennant stan you could swap this out for The Planet of the Dead

This one is just a fun one really. The Mummy on The Orient Express is stylish and fun, with a cool concept and a little peek into a more complex Doctor-companion relationship. With a short explanation you can get the context pretty easily, and it's a good example of your typical episode anyway.

HOWEVER if you have time, there's a bunch of two-parters you should watch instead, like The Family of Blood, The Empty Child, Silence in the Library, even Extremis.

9. The Haunting of Villa Diodati (S12, E10)

Finally some 13th Doctor rep! This one has some of the strongest writing in the Chibnall era, and is a fun horror mystery that serves as a fun introduction to Jodie Whittaker as the 13th Doctor. It has a little bit of series-wide arc, but that's okay.

10. The Church on Ruby Road (2023 Special 4)

If your person liked all those episodes but still doesn't want to watch 13 seasons of TV, just abandon ship and watch the 2023 Christmas special in preparation for Series 14 (or Season 1) in Spring 2024. The Church on Ruby Road is the beginning of the latest soft reboot of the show and has been explicitly created as a jumping on point for new fans. Ncuti Gatwa and Millie Gibson absolutely shine in this special, it's fun and silly and in my opinion bodes very well for the next season of Doctor Who...

"in 900 years of time and space, I've never met anyone who wasn't important" - Bannakaffalatta

I hope that was a success! After all those episodes hopefully you either had a good time with whoever you were watching it with, or you've already moved onto Series 1! I'll be trying this out the best I can with my girlfriend this year, so look out, because I may be back with adjustments later...

[sandymybeloved]

okay, I don't know how much sense this is going to make but its been bugging me so bear with

you know how sometimes when people in a fandom go long enough without going back and rewatching/rereading/relistening to/rewhatever, that they end up with slightly warped ideas about the characters and story that are far more based on fanon than anything in the source material. I think the same thing happens with criticisms of shows, some mild critique people had at the time becomes so pervasive and considered so all consuming that it no longer gels with the source material

what got me thinking about this was reading the tags in the @adventure-showdown tournament. a not uncommon thing I read is saying they only remember a single great moment from an episode, but they remember the other story completely, so the other story must be magnitudes better. and when someone is implying that because they only remember the gallery scene from vincent and the doctor, the surrounding episode wasn't worthwhile or even any good, I can't help but think, when was the last time you watched it? was it in 2010 when it aired, if you don't remember anything other than the scene that is regularly shared, and you're criticising based on your lack of memory alone, that just doesn't end up gelling with the episode, its not really a fair criticism

more broadly, half the criticisms I see of Moffat who are almost nonsensical to me as someone who does rewatch. (I'm not going to go into the sexism stuff, my opinions on that are far too nuanced and complicated to make a good example)

one of the most common criticisms is that it made the doctor too important, which every time I see it I can't help but wonder if the person saying it even watched in the first place. Because the thing is this is an idea the moffat era actively engages in constantly, and its not a late development at all, and the conclusion it constatly comes too is that the doctor's ego is too big, he's not as important and powerful as he, or the companions, or the audience percieve him to be.

in eleven's second episode, his plan for the star whale is wrong, it's amy who concludes the star whale won't run away and wants to help. in the series 5 finale, eleven makes a big speech to all his enemies gathered above about how they're afraid of him, and it doesn't work, it is at best a minor delay in their plan, he still ends the episode trapped in the pandorica, AND it turns out the doctor was not the excistential threat they were trying to stop, its the TARDIS, they're only imprisoning him as they (wrongly) think he's the only one capable of flying her

in series 6, in a good man goes to war, after the doctor is done parading about the place, after he's done with his massive ego trip and thinking he's won the day, it turns out he hasn't, he got amy back, but not her baby, melody is gone, and any reuniting that happens later in the series has nothing to do with him in any meaningful sense. a good man goes to war is the doctor getting cocky and it ends badly for his friends

its only more explicit in the capaldi era whre 12 regularly pushes back against people considering him anything more than a guy pottering about the universe in a box helping where he can. yes he is made president of earth, but he doesn't want that, he doesn't want authority. In fact series 10 has several of his most meaningful loses, in extremis there's nothing he can do but get a message out, in oxygen he loses his sight to save bill, in the pyramid at the end of the world the world enters a state of dystopia because bill wants to save him, in the doctor falls he loses everything, including his life, only the audience knows any differently

'moffat made the doctor too important' is not a criticism that gels when you actually watch the show, because it is something his era grapples with, is the doctor powerful, is he important to the universe, and if he is, is it a problem and who for. but the criticism isn't completely unfounded, not liking the material fact that 12 got made president of earth is fine, but 5 years removed its a criticism thats warped and changed into something unrecognisable as a criticism of the show its from, when the show says at one point, not even as subtext, that 12 is just a guy travelling around in a blue box, dropping in and helping out where he can.

anyway, this is helpful to me in that i don't like assuming people are speaking in bad faith, sometimes people do just haven't rewatched recently

[kaiasky]

Cold take but capaldi really takes the whole show on his back and carries it when it's incoherent writing means it can no longer walk. the fact that the zygon speech is remembered as one of his best moments instead of dr who at its most incoherent writing-wise is entirely down to his performance

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Doctor Who, but Chronologically: 45

It's 1974! I can practically feel Jon Pertwee.

But this is not a UNIT story - instead, we get a ghost story! Fun! Matt Smith is back but with Clara this time, and they're off to a giant country house, here played to perfection by Margam Park on the outside. Inside it's sporting Her From Call the Midwife and also actual literal Dougray Scott, so the acting quality skyrockets.

This seems to be early Clara, though. And hilariously, we just watched an Amy/Rory/River episode that went hard on the arc mystery for a story this watch order had already resolved for us; with Clara, though, we seem to be getting the mystery in real time. I think the only odd bits currently are (a) what did he mean about the souffles, and (b) why the fuck did she hang out with Capaldi. But this here is early Clara, still new to traveling, and the Doctor trying to work out what she "is".

The plot here is in two halves. The first half is a nice-looking but fairly toothless ghost story. Midwife lady and Dougray Scott are ghost hunters (or more accurately, he is; she's an empath trying to help the ghost), and they're in this big house because it's been haunted by a ghast since time immemorial. The Doctor and Clara just sort of turn up for a bit of a nose. There's a fun scene where Dougray Scott (I really cannot get over that this is real Dougray Scott holy shit) shows them his board of ghost photos and talks them through the ghost's history, which is fairly sparse, but the genuine Dougray Scott is the one acting it, so it's creepy as fuck anyway. Also Clara spots that the ghost is always in the same position in every photo. It's very good, I liked that bit.

Funnily enough, the rest of the ghost story is badly served because of this stupid watch order. Say what you like of this era but the previous episode with the Silents was genuinely creepy and scary and horrifying when it played with its "There's something in the room with us" moments, so this is more, you know, generic, just with Dougray Scott.

Then halfway through there's a scene that very neatly bisects the ghost story half of the episode and the generic sci-fi half. The Doctor and Clara jump in the TARDIS and take a photo of the ghost from the Earth's creation to its death so they can make a movie of it. This means they can see it's just some time traveller stuck in a pocket dimension running away from a sort of unspooled corpse trying to be a crab, but more importantly to US it means Clara has a moment of realising the existential dread of her own mortality, leading to a mildly trite conversation where she demands to know if she's just a ghost to the Doctor.

"No," he says. "You're the only mystery worth solving."

By contrast to the ghost story, that's actually well-served by this watch order. It makes it sound like he means humans in general, which would be sweet and also a fascinating character beat, rather than Clara specifically, which is unsettling and kind of intense for a first date.

Anyway the rest of the plot is them opening a portal to the pocket dimension (using the blue crystal from Metebelis 3! Which Matt Smith cannot pronounce! I said I could feel Jon Pertwee) and rescuing the time traveller from the unspooled corpse crab. There's a bit where the TARDIS is a dickhead to Clara; I like Clara, but I fucking adore TARDIS-as-character stuff, I'm an utter SLUT for it, so I was delighted. Why though? Who knows! A new plot thread!

And then the final five minutes becomes a lot of lacklustre romance between multiple characters, but I'm not criticising because two of those characters are unspooled corpse crabs. We go the whole episode not being properly shown them, and then right at the end Matt Smith goes back to the pocket dimension and is like "COME WITH ME! i'LL TAKE YOU TO HER!!!" :D :D :D

And then it finally rises behind him and it turns to look at him and

well

I'll be honest I fucking howled. Best bit. Loved it.

And then the Doctor asks the psychic midwife what Clara is, and she's like "...that would be a normal human girl, asshole" as the double negative moodlet from the Sims appears over her head. So that mystery remains mysterious.

Let's update! No new threads, nothing resolved, one minor tweak.

“She” (an unknown person) is returning (perhaps River returned as Missy. Maybe Me? Maybe Clara???!)

There is something on Donna’s back

An entire planet, Pyrovilia, just… disappeared, somehow. (Maybe because the TARDIS is exploding??? Saturnine was also lost, and that WAS because of the TARDIS exploding. The lion man’s planet was also lost but he was a bit of a knob about it if I’m honest. The Thijarian planet was destroyed by some sort of impact). Is this the Flux?

Amy is maybe dead (she’s not)

The Doctor has been cubed (he’s out, but how?)

River is possibly blown up  (unless she’s Missy. Nope: she is definitely not blown up)

The TARDIS has blown up  (It’s fine now. Except it’s sort of melting now because it’s corrupted, but it’s fine again. NOPE, back to not working.)

The universe appears to have ended  (the universe is back again)

The Doctor has employed(?) Nardole

(And Nardole was “reassembled???” Nardole had glass nipples and invisible hair?? WHAT THE FUCK IS HE)

There’s a vault in the TARDIS and it contains Missy but we don’t know why (sometimes she knocks for the bants)

There’s an immortal Viking girl now. Her name is Me and she’s now looking after the people the Doctor abandons

Why was Rory entirely unconcerned by the entire world suddenly going silent when that is Not Normal and should have been, at the very least, extremely disconcerting?

What did the Doctor do to Queen Lizzie One?

Why is Amy seeing a one-eyed woman in a vanishing window? (She’s with the Silents, but we don’t know why Amy saw her)

Why is Amy’s pregnancy inconclusive? (Maybe because the baby had Time Lord DNA?) She’s deffo pregnant and the baby becomes River, but why inconclusive?

Who is Sarah-Jane Smith?

How is the Doctor Bill’s teacher and why/where does he have an office?

What is going on with the Cyber War and the Cyberium???

What happened with the Other Cyber War?

What happened with the Third War that deleted the void?

Why does Rose seem particularly important?

What order do these Doctors go in? (Eccleston, Tennant, uncertain, Smith, Capaldi, Whittaker)

Which companion just… forgot the Doctor, and how?

Yaz and Vinder are about to die as Mori/Mwri/Muuri (Not anymore, somehow)

There is a Lupari shield around Earth.

What’s a Time War?

What’s the Rift?

What’s Bad Wolf?

In which war did the Doctor become a war criminal, and how?

Who is the Master?

Why has Amy forgotten Rory? How did she forget a Dalek invasion?

Is Rory plastic or not?  Yeah, must be, he couldn’t possibly remember being plastic otherwise

Why is the Doctor sulking on a cloud?

How exactly does the Doctor have a cloud?

What exactly happened with Strax to, uh, tame him?

Which friend killed Strax?

Which friend brought Strax back?

Where did this lesbian lizard and human couple come from?

What happened with Clara as Souffle Girl and the Daleks?

How does Clara actually join?

Why so many Claras? NEW INFO: A psychic midwife says she's just normal human

Why is Missy apparently in robo-heaven?

Why is probably!Missy pushing Clara and the Doctor together?

What is Trensilor and what happened there?

Who is Handles?

The Doctor is about to be dissolved by a beautiful geode man

The universe is being crushed by the Flux

Will the Doctor open the fobwatch?

Sontarans are invading Earth again

Who is Kate?

Who is Osgood? Another name of Clara’s again?

The fuck is the deal with the Grand Serpent

Does Martha get to go to an ice cream planet with 12-fingered massage aliens?

How did the Doctor forget Clara?

Who is Bill’s puddle girlfriend Heather?

How did Nardole die?

When does Bill get Cyberman-ed and die?

When does the Doctor shrink and enter a Dalek called Rusty?

Whittaker is falling to her death rn

Was that ring relevant?

Does anyone know the Doctor’s name?

When did Yaz talk to Dan about fancying the Doctor?

When did Dan talk to the Doctor about fancying Yaz?

What’s happening with the bees?

What happened with Donna’s ex and a giant spider?

What war wiped out the Daleks, and is it one of the ones already mentioned?

What did the Doctor mean when he said “The (Daleks) always live, while I lose everything?”

If Dalek Caan is the last Dalek left why are there more now?

How did the rest of the Time Lords die?

How and why did Amy melt?

What’s the question that will make silence fall?

Why do the Silents… want silence to fall?

How and why are Silents at war with the Doctor when he… hasn’t even heard of them?

How does Hitler get out of the cupboard?

What’s the significance of fish fingers and custard?

Why does the Doctor feel guilt about Rose, Martha and Donna?

What happened with the space whale?

When does Rory defend Amy for 2000 years? Since Roman times, it seems

How does the Doctor survive River? He doesn’t, apparently

How does he erase himself from history

Did Captain Jack lose his memories to the same people as the Doctor? What did he lose?

When did the Doctor send the Daleks into a void to save the universe?

What’s with the weird crack in the wall and is it affecting memories?

Why do Amy and Rory think the Doctor is dead? Is it because of River as an astronaut?

Is Matt Smith’s Doctor a tree racist?

Why is the beautiful geode woman stealing people into a Passenger form?

River says she’ll die one day when the Doctor doesn’t remember her, let’s hope she doesn’t mean it

NEW INFO: why doesn't the TARDIS like Clara?

[denimbex1986]

'Doctor Who showrunner Russell T Davies reveals that the regeneration between David Tennant and Ncuti Gatwa in the 60th-anniversary special "The Giggle" was almost a much more visually chaotic and violent sequence than what would be seen on screen. The final episode brought the show's milestone celebrations to a close, as Tennant's Fourteenth Doctor battled the Toymaker (Neil Patrick Harris) over the fate of the human race. In the final act of "The Giggle," the Fourteenth Doctor is shot by a beam of galvanic radiation, but rather than changing into his Fifteenth incarnation (Gatwa), the Doctor is divided into two beings by the fabled bi-generation, as both the Fourteenth and Fifteenth Doctors stand together.

With Doctor Who's shocking 60th-anniversary bi-generation twist taking audiences by surprise, Davies revealed more details about it with producer Phil Collinson and Tennant during BBC iPlayer's "The Giggle" commentary. He said the sequence could have almost had a more drastic visualization. When discussing the back-and-forth on how they brought the bi-generation to life, Collinson stated that the separation would have initially seen the two Doctors physically torn apart in the process, something Davies and Collinson agree would have been too violent. Check out Davies, Collinson, and Tennant's full explanation below:

Russell T Davies: "Oh my god, the fussing over this special effect was..."

David Tennant: "Was it difficult?"

Phil Collinson: "Oh, it was really difficult. Well, this particular shot, as well. It’s quite funny. It’s like a bubble, isn’t it? Like an amoeba. And there were versions where you kind of ripped apart."

Davies: "It was too violent!"

Collinson: "Some violence."

Davies: "It was too liquid sometimes. It was… It was too thin."

Collinson: "I wanted to put a popping cork on, but they wouldn’t let me."

Why A Calmer Regeneration Works Best For Doctor Who's 60th-Anniversary Storyline?

Doctor Who has seen several regeneration processes where the transformation has caused pure chaos — sometimes for better and sometimes for worse. In Tennant's final Tenth Doctor adventure, "The End of Time," the Time Lord regenerates inside the TARDIS after a farewell tour, leading to the vessel sustaining heavy damage from the regeneration energy, sending it crashing into a garden in the village of Leadworth, and requiring time to repair. Matt Smith's Eleventh Doctor would weaponize this energy against a Dalek saucer in "The Time of the Doctor," and Peter Capaldi's Twelfth Doctor would also damage the TARDIS in his regeneration, which left Jodie Whittaker's Thirteenth Doctor separated from her ship.

With so many violent, destructive regenerations, the handover between Tennant and Gatwa not only marks a welcome change, but it works better for the tale "The Giggle" and prior Doctor Who 60th-anniversary specials. The Fourteenth Doctor is faced with the question of why he is still running and not taking the time to come to terms with his previous travels, which bi-regeneration will allow as the Fifteenth Doctor continues the adventure. As such, the two Doctors taking a moment to work together and compartmentalize these two phases of their lives by pushing each other apart is a fitting encapsulation of what this moment means for the Doctor.

Bi-generation is a never-before-seen scenario that has raised dozens of questions about what the future of Doctor Who could be. As such, not only is a more peaceful process fitting with the 60th-anniversary specials' story but having a less violent separation between Tennant and Gatwa allowed audiences to be fully shocked by the mere implications rather than its visuals. While Gatwa's Doctor Who adventures will begin in the Christmas special, bi-generation will remain one of the show's pivotal moments.'

[superwholockednico]

First time watching the 13th doctor Thoughts

First off, this is my first time getting 'not my doctor' syndrome. I think this may be because all the other doctors were already doctors when I started watching Doctor Who.

(While all of capaldi's seasons weren't out then, I was aware going into the fandom that he was one of the doctors. I also watched all the seasons near consecutively during summer break, so I never had time to be like. Noo I want to watch the last doctor. Because I just wanted to watch more doctor who.)

But this time it was different. I was looking at a lady I knew as an actor (from Chibnall's other work, Broadchurch (my beloved!)) and from her cover of Yellow, of all things.

Perhaps more importantly, I came in knowing many people didn't like her seasons. Which is weird.

Like, it is a weird experience going into a show you love being like. Ok so is it as bad as people say.

I have experience in this. I watched supernatural. (of course) And I was a bit behind on the show, always a handful of seasons behind, so I knew I was heading nowhere good. But with supernatural, you never know when it gets bad (expect the last episode. I know that one is ass). The best episodes are in the worst seasons and the worst seasons sometimes have the best ideas and its a mess. But people (on twitter, especially) gave me this idea that 13's seasons were all worse quality.

It really wasn't.

Now I'm only on season 1, and the timeless child arch is still to come, which I fear as I don't like the concept from what I've heard (i really like the idea of the doctor as just some person fumbling around, hence why I like 12 better than 11). But for now. It's a pretty good show.

The episodes feel very rewatchable to me.

Compared to the much more interconnected stories going on in 11 and 12's run, every episode of season 11 could be watched alone with little explanation. Not that that is better or worse, but it means I can def go back and pick a random episode to rewatch whenever I need.

And It is fun!

Almost every episode in this season was super fun! Obviously they had some more emotionally charged ones ('demons of punjab', 'the battle of ranskoor av kolos' (the finale), and maybe a bit of 'It Take You Away') but overall there were a lot of really fun moments and sites and it was somewhat whimsical at times but not in the same way as 11. The peak example being Kerblam!

The characters were also what made it so fun.

They're a jolly little crew of fellas traveling through space togather. No one feels like the 'main character' (ok Ryan sort of does. Because he started off the show you know, Rose style?). So far, it is Yasmin who feels like the tack on.

Which is funny because the only companion I've heard about at length is Yaz and how great she is and so far I am like, oh yeah, she had a few episodes (Arachnids in the UK and Demons of Punjab). Like I don't really care about her yet. I don't feel connected with her.

You know who I do feel connected/invested in. MY OLD MAN. GRAHAM CRACKER. (not cus he's white, it's a brand guys). i love this old man. I feel for him. I wanted his revenge when he wanted his revenge. I was so happy for him when he was happy that Ryan called him gramps (or whatever he called him). Like I was literally giggling cus he was happy over it and that made me happy cus I was emotionally invested in him!

I liked the idea of Graham before I watched this season actually, due to a reddit post where someone was like, best crossover would be three old men (the 12th doctor and graham and wilf) running around for an episode. And I was like, omg that is an amazing idea.

Okay I need a whole post for the Fam and how I actually love having a little crew in the tardis. Next post it is.

[anotheruserwithnoname]

10 years of The Name of the Doctor

Time has flown. It was 10 years ago today (May 18, 2013) that the finale of Series 7, The Name of the Doctor, first aired. The conclusion of Clara’s Impossible Girl story arc, it also resolved River Song’s story (we’ll pretend Husbands of River Song never happened), it featured the Paternoster Gang (the spinoff we deserved but never got), and it featured the debut of John Hurt as the War Doctor, back when introducing a previously unknown Doctor actually meant something.

I know Clara has a lot of haters (or, in a less-guarded moment, just haters of the Impossible Girl arc) and this episode is not high on their favourites for that reason, but I thought it was a terrific finale to the storyline and in many ways this felt more like the 50th anniversary special than the Day of the Doctor did later in the year.

Sure a few things were a bit shaky plotwise and it’s one of a number of episodes retroactively damaged by Moffat’s successor (don’t get me started). But as a season finale, a midpoint in the 50th anniversary, and as the resolution of major aspects of the Golden Companion’s story arc (people forget that’s what Clara was - that’s why she was made out to be special), it did the job and was excellent. There were also some great Eleven x Clara moments, especially a priceless moment where Clara and River have a “missus and the ex” exchange during Vastra’s “seance”. Matt Smith’s acting in particular was some of the best of his era.

But my favourite part of the episode is its amazing pre-credits sequence that featured multiple Claras and cameos by all of the past Doctors! (This sequence only works if you ignore a certain retcon from a few years ago, though.) Clip comes from the BBC’s Youtube channel for Doctor Who, so it should be OK to post. It may not play in all regions, however.

Just on a personal note, the episodes of Series “7B” hold a unique place in my heart. Ignoring all the stuff about Clara, Jenna Coleman, Whouffle romance and past Doctors. During this run life in the real world was not good for me. In fact this episode aired a few days after the doctors gave my mom the so-called “3 month countdown”. Watching Who together provided an hour of respite for me and my father during these dark times and I could have used it when we had an even darker summer to come in 2013 (the announcement of Peter Capaldi as Twelve came about a week after the countdown ended). Still, I owe Doctor Who for providing me that respite in the spring of 2013.

[blueathens]

Avenging My Father - AGAPE SERIES

                   ACT TWO, SCENE SEVEN

SONG: Headspace by Lewis Capaldi QUOTE: “I just couldn’t like him the same way he liked me.”

A/N: Not proofread or edited - I changed this so many times - delay in posting this chapter

Previous || Next

Masterlist//Main Masterlist//Agape Masterlist

For Bobby, both Buck and Kasey reminded him of Sal Deluca, a firefighter he reassigned to Station 122 not long after becoming Captain. The three of them regularly disobeyed his orders, Kasey, however, does it more often than Buck and more extreme than Deluca ever could. Bobby thinks it's her heavy survivor's guilt that constantly weighs her down.

If Kasey loses someone, she will forever feel like its her fault, even if there was no way in saving them, Kasey will still believe she wasn't good enough – that she was the reason they died.

Kasey never expresses this feeling though, not really, it's just something you figure out when you get to know her.

On her inner arm were the angel numbers '444,' she got this tattoo as it was exactly how she sees herself as – protection.

That she was a human shield that could take everyone's pain as long as it meant someone else could live.

Bobby thinks that Kasey sometimes forgets that she's human, just like everyone else, that she can't save everyone and be a protector for them all.

Bobby even thinks that Kasey will die at his hands one day as she won't follow the orders that are meant to keep both the team and civilians as safe as possible. Or it will just lead her to a lot of trouble in the near future, but today it was him that was getting in trouble, not Kasey, but as the tension rises, Bobby could feel that something was going to break within her, and someone will discover a truth that they do not like and use it to ruin her.

However, the truth was not going to be true, if Kasey's story didn't come from her mouth then it isn't true, but Bobby knows that someone will eventually one day mix up her words and use it against her thinking it's the truth, when it's not.

Kasey Strand was one of the best damn firefighters anyone could ever meet, and it was a damn shame that she held so much darkness that if it falls into the wrongs hand, it could ruin her, but today wasn't going to be day where someone ruins Kasey Strand.

But it is the day where Kasey begins to worry about her role as a firefighter as she walks up the stairs, not knowing that one of the best fire station captains has to be suspended from the station.

Today was the day Robert Nash was in danger.

"Hey, Cap." Greeted Chim, being the first one to make it up the stairs, seeing Bobby in his usual seat at the dining table. "Why are you sitting up here in your civvies? And how come I am not smelling my breakfast?"

Hen laughs, and Bobby puts on a fake smile, Kasey could tell, she could tell he was faking his happiness, she knew this as she too was a master of faking happiness, but she also knew Bobby and she knew he was faking that smile on his face.

She stuffed her hands in her pockets as she stood a little away from her team.

"Maybe you should all sit down."

Kasey's teeth sinks into her bottom lip as she mentally prepared herself for the worst.

"Oh," Hen frowns slightly. "This doesn't feel good."

Kasey rounds the table standing at the last chair of the table as she looked straight forth instead of at Bobby who now raised from his seat like one would to make an announcement.

"All right. I know the shift's about to start, but I wanted to be here to tell you this in person. As of this morning, pending further investigation, I am officially suspended from my duties here at the 118."

Kasey's face went blank as she pulled her best poker face at those words, when really she felt like something from within her was dying – Captain Robert Nash was being suspended. Bobby, someone Kasey has looked up to the moment she came here in 2016. The guy who has helped Kasey through so much in her life and tries his best to keep her on her feet.

Kasey didn't know how the 118 without Bobby, and Kasey didn't want to find out what 118 without Bobby was like.

"What? Why? That-That's insane. Suspended for what?" Buck stuttered out.

"For not disclosing what happened in Minnesota before I took the job."

Bobby watched as Kasey bowed her head, eyes closing as she gives a soft shake of her head to the table. Her jaw was firmly set, and her lips were pressed in the thinnest line one could ever see.

In the 118, Kasey Strand was the only one who knew about Bobby's past, and just like him he was aware of some of her past, something Buck has overheard through the passing years. And in their conversations between the two best friends, Kasey never dared to tell Buck that much about her life due to mainly fear.

"Minnesota? That's old news."

"Well, not to them and if they knew all the details," – like Kasey does – "there's a very good chance they never would've hired me."

Bobby related to Kasey in the fact that the pair shouldn't have ever been hired due to their past, but due to them both being able to hide it well they were able to join and become firefighters.

Kasey also knows it's her military background that was able to hide her old life for her to be able to have her new life here in LA with her previous firefighter training.

However, Bobby and Kasey are not bad people, they are very kind souls who just been hurt too much in the past, and due to that hurt it led them to places that suggested they shouldn't be having these new lives.

"Cap, you don't owe them that part of you," Hen speaks up. "You owe them your record."

Kasey wonders if that was why her old record was wiped clean and was replaced with a new one before and after the military due to her good work.

Furthermore, Kasey knew that out of everyone Bobby deserves his place in the 118, he was one of the nicest and most hardworking person she knew who would never put anyone in harm's way.

And her heart fell to the pit of her stomach knowing that his past was catching up to him and it was beginning to ruin his life.

"All the people you've helped." Buck continues.

"The lives you've saved." Eddie says.

"Well, I knew the truth would catch up to me one day," Bobby gives Kasey another glance, but she was still in the same position as she was the first time he looked her way. "I just figured by the time it did, it wouldn't matter. I'd have nothing left to lose. I was wrong."

By the time everyone slowly leaves and heads to do their duties around the firehouse, Bobby makes his way towards Kasey who has looked like she hasn't moved a muscle, but as he gets closer he notices her taking small, quiet, breaths, almost like she was trying to calm herself down from something.

Bobby places his hand on Kasey's shoulder and she jumps slightly as she takes a step back to look and Bobby. Her hands were behind her back as she blinked at him and shows him a small, sad smile.

"You're going to come back," Kasey says lowly.

"Kasey–"

"You're going to come back," she repeats, trying to convince the both of them. "They can't fire you. They just can't."

Kasey felt like she was six again after she sees her dad again after the 9/11 incident, how she felt so lost and just needed a parent's comfort, and the only parent that willingly gave her that was her dad, the guy she cried for as she watched the news, knowing he was there trying to save as many people as he could whilst also losing himself in the process.

Kasey felt like she was six again when Bobby took her smaller body and wrapped his arms around to comfort her like a father would for his daughter, rubbing her back as he promised her he'll be back working in the 118 soon.

But Bobby thinks he has just lied to Kasey.

"You're going to have to be careful, Kas," Bobby whispers. "They're going to discover the whole truth about me, and they soon could find yours, and if it's not you telling them, then they're going to believe in the wrong thing – the thing that's going to get you into a lot of trouble."

Bobby feels Kasey nod against his chest before she pulls herself away and pushes her the side of her hand against her nose before moving further back. "I should head down and–"

Bobby smiles, "Have a good shift, Kasey."

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

"Barry Johnson, 57." Athena announces loudly as the 118 jump out of their vehicles, grabbing their equipment that were needed to attend the man that fell. "Seems to have had some kind of existential crisis after lunch. Threw all his money off the roof and then decided to jump it."

Buck whistled as he, Eddie and Kasey looked up to the said roof the man jumped from. "Wish I had that type of money."

Kasey hums, pursing her lips to the side as she turned her head to look at Barry on top of the broken car. "It probably make you very unhappy just like this man." She walks ahead, leaving her two friends behind as she brings herself closer to the injured man. Kasey wasn't carrying any bags of equipment, in fact she didn't simply feel like she was useful for something like this, she felt pretty useless as she just stands back and watch, at those times it doesn't even feel like Kasey is a firefighter, she just feels like a helpless civilian.

"Falls 20 stories and lives."

"20 stories? How is that even possible?" Questioned Buck as he walked slightly ahead of Hen and Athena, and Eddie joins them a second later.

"We also got a few greedy bystanders with minor injuries," Athena raised her finger to point at the small crowd right by them. "Not sure how you want to handle those." Athena takes a glance at Kasey who stood right by the, inspecting his body in hopes she be able to tell her team the injuries for them – at least then she wouldn't feel so hopeless.

"That's up to the Cap," Hen states just as Chimney leaves his vehicle and Kasey takes a glance over her shoulder and gives a quick roll of her eyes – she's been bossed around by Chimney too much and he has only been Captain for only two shifts.

Kasey was getting sick and tired of making coffees.

"Uh, interim Cap," corrects Buck, "this is just temporary until Bobby comes back."

"You keep telling yourself that, Buck." Chimney tilts his head back to stare at the roof the man jumped and survived from as he chewed on his gum. His attention then turned to Barry who groaned, and Kasey takes a step back, lips pressed together as her hands go behind her back whilst she stares down at her shoes.

To Kasey, the man just looks badly injured – meaning she has nothing important to tell her team as they would easily be able to see he's injured.

"Whoa. All right, I'll take spinal precaution." Chimney heads towards Barry, pulling Eddie's shoulder bag off from his shoulder. Chimney walks past the youngest firefighter and completely ignores her due to still being sour about her constantly backchatting him the moment he's become Captain.

He puts the bag down and begins to unzip it before pausing to look at his team who hasn't moved a muscle, but all held a confused look, "right, I'm the Captain. Uh, Hen, Eddie, you're with him." Chimney gestures towards Barry. "Buck, go with John. Triage the minor injuries. And I'll get the Jaws."

Kasey let out a low breath as she waited in the same position for her order, but it never came. And it felt like something else died within Kasey, it made her feel pathetic. This wasn't unusual, she hardly helped with the injuries as she never was able to get more training for it, not like the others in her team,

But when she sits in her car, before she attempts to try and sleep, she reads many medical books, reads the documents the chief sent her via emails, and watch those professional medical videos just so she can understand these things better – just so she can help her team in more areas.

But Kasey just stays there, still waiting for her orders, and she feels pathetic. Chimney was able to say at least a major injury that could have happened to him – which was injuries to the spine – but Kasey couldn't even state that, she didn't even think of the most obvious injury.

Of course there was going to be a problem with his spine.

The water in her eyes begins to build up until she couldn't see anything, her vision becomes blurry, and a huge rush of tiredness and numbness took over her. It was pathetic, she thought, why was she getting so agitated over this?

Over Bobby, over Chimney, over herself and over not being able to help?

Eddie and Hen look over their shoulders to see Kasey just standing there.

"Did Chim not instruct you to a task?" Confusion dripped from Hen's voice.

Kasey tried to speak but she knew if she did then the two of them would quickly realise that she was trying not to cry, and she didn't want them to know or she would feel more pathetic. It was minor things, she told herself, keep it together.

She just shakes her head before looking up at the roof once again and let out a shallow breath, not realising she was being watched by Eddie before he had to turn back to his work with a heavy heart.

Eddie Diaz was beginning to realise that Kasey Strand was not okay, and he began to question how long has she not been okay and how long has she been putting up a façade?

Eddie hated himself for not noticing sooner. The team obviously noticed that Kasey looked a little bit more tired than usual lately, but they all thought it was the extra shifts she kept on asking for that made her seem that way.

But to Eddie now, he thinks there's much more to that as seeing Kasey now, where she isn't putting up a façade as she doesn't know she's being watched, seeing her now expresses to Eddie the raw sadness and pain that emerges from her, and it was a type of pain that made you want to hold that person under a blanket, fire going in a corner, as words of 'you're enough' and 'let me help you,' would be whispered.

So he turns to Barry with a heavy heart as he realises he has only just noticed the true sadness that came off from his best friend.

"All right, Barry. I'm gonna give you something for the pain, okay? It'll take the edge off but you'll probably still gonna feel it."

"Can't you just knock me out'?"

"Sorry, I need you to stay with me." Barry groans once more at Hen's words. Eddie was now in the car, sat in the backseats as his feet where out of the door and planted on the pavement outside as he checks Barry's legs.

"Compound fracture, both legs." Barry grunts and shouts as Eddie continues to check him over. There was glass everywhere, even on Barry's clothes from where he crashed and feel slightly into the back windscreen of the car. His head was against the boot, ever so slightly elevated up so he wasn't laying on shards of glass, and around his neck was a brace.

"Hasn't lost bowel control."

"At least I got that going for me."

"These are all positives, Barry," Hen calmly says as Eddie climbs out the car to look up at the roof once more, trying to figure out how someone could survive a fall like that. "Means your spine's probably okay."

"Ma'am, you said you saw him fall?" Eddie asks the closest civilian to him.

"Yeah," she nods.

"How did he land?"

"Feetfirst," she whimpers.

"Couldn't even do this right," moans Barry. "This morphine's nice, though."

Kasey has moved herself to stand by the ambulance, leaning against the fire truck next to it as she watches Hen pushes Barry on the stretcher.

"You have anyone you need us to call?"

"My wife left me. My kids hate me. My only friend is suing me. next time, I go headfirst."

"You had all that money, though," Eddie states as he pulls the stretcher by the front, right by Barry's head as he walks towards the ambulance backwards. "Why'd you throw it out the window?"

"That money ruined my life. A year ago, I'd have thought it solved all my problems. Just multiplied them."

"Wait," the woman who made the call says, "wait, what-what happened last year?"

"I won the lottery."

Chimney closes the back doors of the ambulance, turns around and shrugs at the woman. "Careful what you wish for." The engine starts as Chimney walks away, the woman pulls out her lottery ticket from her purse and rips it apart.

Eddie clears his throat as he stands next to Kasey, shoulders brushing for as they stood next to one another. Kasey was only slightly smaller than Eddie, it wasn't a grand height difference, but it was a pleasant height difference.

Kasey's strained voice beat Eddie's in talking first as she asked him, "are you happy?"

Eddie opens his mouth, closing it, then opens it once more, but then he closes it and doesn't open it again until he found the right words. He ponders on that question as the both of them look ahead of them, watching as the crowd of people slowly move away and go back to their lives.

"Yes," he finally says, "but I know I can be happier – that I deserve to be happier."

"You deserve more than the world, Eddie." She whispers and Eddie could feel his face begin to heat up at her words, looking down at his shoes whilst he hides away his smile.

No one has ever said that to him before.

No one has thought of Eddie as that much before, but here Kasey was telling him he deserved more than the world, and it felt nice, really nice.

More than nice, in fact.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

"So we're doing line ups now?" Buck questions as he stands tall in front of Chimney who parade around with his dark sunglasses as gum in his mouth.

"Stow it, Buckley." He then moves down and back up the line, "so, listen up. Because the word of the day is ' hose maintenance.'" He stops at Buck once again.

"Okay, I'm out," Hen says, and Kasey snorts and Chimney made his way towards the youngest firefighter – the only one who wasn't standing up straight, instead she was leaning her right shoulder against the wall, arms folded at her chest as she too wore sunglasses and chewed her gum mockingly.

"This is so stupid," she mutters just before Captain Chimney stops in front of her with his arms behind his back.

"Are you questioning my methods?" The other firefighters eyed the pair out from the corner of their eyes.

"Not questioning them," she simpered, "I'm saying it's stupid."

Kasey sits in front of Bobby at his place where the table was littered with things for a wedding, Kasey smiles faintly at it, before it falls as she looks back at Bobby.

"What if we put a blonde wig on you? They'll never notice that's it you. Then we can have both you and normal Chimney back," Kasey proclaims as she sits proudly at the fact that she just thought of the best idea ever.

Bobby gives a short shake of his head, dying her excitement down.

Kasey leans back in her chair, hands holding the back of her head, groaning. "This is just like Buck with a clipboard," she shakes her head. "Dark times. Dark times."

"I think Chimney is just trying–" Bobby stops himself from talking as Kasey throws him a warning look whilst she sits back normally on her chair. "Forgot what I just said," he raised a hand in surrender. "He shouldn't be annoying my favourite firefighter."

Kasey smiles, "I knew I was your favourite," she whispers in excitement, wiggling in her seat as she taps her fingers against the small available spaces of the table.

Kasey pauses her tapping as her phone vibrates in her pocket, she pulls it out and keeps it hidden under the table as she looks down at the messages popping up:

Eddie: Shannon thinks she's pregnant

Eddie: I'm not ready for that – I don't think I want that.

Eddie: I don't think I want this life with Shannon anymore, it's not the same as it was years ago. I did once love her, but I don't think it was to the point I was ready to be married?

Eddie: I think I lied to you on that shift where I told you I was happy. I'm not happy and I don't think I've ever been truly happy. Only times I know I'm happy is with my family, the 118 and you

Eddie: I don't know what to do Kas...

Kasey frowns as she types a message telling Eddie that she will be at his shortly and quickly turns her phone off at the sound of Bobby's voice. She looks up to see Bobby looking down at his notebook as he writes something down.

"You're coming to our wedding," Bobby tells her. It was in a way an invitation, by an invitation that said there was no way she was getting out of it.

"I thought it was established that the entire team was going?" Kasey questioned as she put her phone in her pocket.

"Yes but they can say no if they're busy, but you – me and Athena won't be truly happy if you're not there Kasey," Bobby puts his pen down as he holds his hands together in front of him, "Athena says she's happy as long as I don't pick the dress and that me, the kids and you are there." He smiles before giving a half shrug, "you're practically our daughter, Kasey."

Instead of something dying within her, something came to life, and Kasey didn't know how to handle that. But she knew, and so did Bobby, that the smile that stretched across her lips was one of true happiness and it was far from being fake.

"I wouldn't miss your wedding for the world, Cap."

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

"Christopher deserves you, he deserves his mum," Eddie states at the dining table, Shannon sitting opposite him, and Christopher was at his abuela's. Eddie's phone was turned face up on the table next to his intertwined hands that were placed firmly in front of him as he looked at Shannon, ready to tell her that she wasn't the one who has his heart. "But I," he pauses to think of the right words, but for a break-up – for a divorce – is there actually any correct words to end a relationship? "But I don't think we deserve each–"

"Eddie," Shannon breaths, "I'm not pregnant."

Eddie stops and sits himself up more on the chair, clearing his voice before looking down at his lap and back up at Shannon.

"What?"

"I'm not...I'm not pregnant. I was just late."

"Oh." Eddie utters. "That doesn't matter, Christopher still deserves his mum, but I just don't think we could ever be tog–"

"I wrote this letter," Shannon interrupts once again, "a few years ago, right after I left. Or actually, after I...didn't come back. To Christopher. Trying to explain why I couldn't be there. And I figured that if, for some reason, I never found my way back, that he'd want answers. And he needed to know that...it wasn't his fault. That his mother didn't leave because she didn't love him. She left because she did. I never sent it, obviously. And then when I found out today that I wasn't actually pregnant, I took that letter out, I read it." She shakes her head. "Eddie, I never want to have to send that letter."

"Why would you ever?"

"Because if I try to do this again before I'm ready, there wont be a second chance." She takes a harsh swallow to keep back her cries. "Eddie, I'm not ready to be Christopher's mother, I'm just not. And I know...I know you asked me to come round to end us officially...for a divorce."

All Eddie could do was nod.

"And that's okay," Shannon whispers with a sad smile. "It's okay." She tucks her bottom lip as she gives a painful nod to Eddie. "Just promise me that your heart doesn't belong to anyone but Kasey. That it's her you want to be with."

"It's Kasey," Eddie confirms with a small smile which Shannon returns.

"Good," she sniffles. "That's good. You deserve each other, you know? I see the way you both look at each other, and I, I've never seen you that happy before Eddie. I've never seen anyone that happy before. And Christopher is so happy with her too. You two are good for one another, and I just need you and Christopher to stay happy." Shannon pauses. "Kasey is everything you and Christopher needs and–"

"Kasey doesn't feel the same way."

"How do you know?" Shannon raises her eyebrows. "You don't know if you don't ask her." She leans forwards to tap her hand against Eddie's. "Promise me you'll try with her because I'm certain she feels the same."

Eddie shakes his head in disagreement. "How do I tell Christopher?"

Shannon had no answer except her raising from her seat, saying a small goodbye to Eddie before leaving him alone on the dining table.

He picks up his phone and messages the first person his mind went to, completely ignoring the fact that she's coming later, he needed to speak to someone, and she was the only one on his mind.

Eddie: Shannon and I have agreed on getting a divorce

Eddie: She's not pregnant

Eddie: And I think she just walked out of Christopher's life

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

"All right, make way! LAFD!" Chimney leads. "All right, John and Buck, triage the minor injuries. Hen you're with me. Eddie and Kasey, check the driver."

The pair goes to either side of the front doors of the car, Eddie crouching down in front of the red car's open door on the driver's side whilst he unzips his medical bag. "Ma'am, can you hear me?"

"I, um..." Kasey climbs into the passenger seat. "I tried to stop, but I didn't see any of them. Are they okay?" The woman stuttered out.

"Yeah," Kasey says in a gentle tone which carries a slight firmness to it, "we're taking care of the others, ma'am. Right now, we need to see if you're okay."

"Um, m-my neck hurts. Oh, God."

Eddie leans into the car slightly to wrap a neck brace around the woman's neck. "Okay, ma'am, we're gonna put this on you as a precaution until the doctors at the hospital can check you out."

Kasey pulls herself out of the car but stops and turns to look back into the car when she hears the woman stutter again.

"Th-There was a lady. Is-is she all right?"

Kasey head turns to look out at the road where the collusion happened, face falling as she notices and Eddie caught on as he watches her face drop.

'No, no, no, no, no,' Kasey repeated in her head, eyes down casting to the ground as she tries to figure something out, something that would hurt Eddie less. But that was humanly impossible because no one can make someone feel better after seeing some you care for get hurt.

"Kasey?" Eddie's voice reaches Kasey's ears. "What's going on?" She turns to look at him, face falling even further when she notices Eddie turning his head to look out onto the road too.

"Eddie," Kasey breaths before stumbling up to catch Eddie. "Eddie."

Kasey's voice became white noise to Eddie's ears as he rushed towards the woman on the ground. Buck touches him to hold him back but Eddie pushes past him, completely ignoring his and Kasey's calls for him. Chimney stops him next but just like Buck he pushes past and ignores every call he sends his way.

He couldn't hear anything except ringing in his ears.

"How bad is it?" He pants out as Chimney places his hands on Eddie's chest again.

Chimney thought about lying, but he couldn't lie to Eddie, Eddie doesn't deserve to be lied to.

"It's bad."

"Spinal injury?"

"Maybe worst."

Eddie didn't once look at Chimney, not even as he gently pushes past Chimney, pushing his hand away as he tries to reach him once again as he makes his way to his ex-wife, who laid in the middle of a crosswalk.

He kneels down, checking her over as he whispers her name and she greets him like it's a normal day with a simple, "hey." She then asks, "Are you here?"

"I'm here," he offers a small smile.

"Oh, God. This is so embarrassing."

Hen rushes to take the stethoscope out from her ears, "Vitals trending downward."

"All right, let's get her on the backboard! Get her transported, now!" Chimney yells whilst Eddie watches other paramedics take Shannon onto a backboard and places her into the back of an ambulance, but before she gets in her eyes finds Kasey's.

"Look after them," she whispers, but due to Kasey slowly making her way closer to Eddie she was able to hear, and she nods, smiling slightly to silently promise Shannon that Eddie and Christopher will be okay – Kasey will make sure of it.

"I'm riding with her," Eddie says in a voice that told everyone to not try and stop him.

"She's decompensating. We got to intubate her." Hen says just before Chimney dared to stop Eddie.

"Eddie," he places his hand firmly against Eddie's chest, "we put that tube in, there's a good chance it never comes back out." He looks over his shoulder as he notices Eddie's face. "Hen, stop. Do not intubate. Not yet."

"Cap..."

"I know." He looks back at Eddie. "He knows." He then gestures he's head to the back of the ambulance, "get in there and say goodbye."

As the ambulance goes, Kasey sniffles before climbing back into the fire truck, taking the drivers seat as she follows behind the ambulance that trailed behind another fire truck.

Kasey wasn't sure if God existed, but seeing such hurt written across Eddie's fast made her want to climb up to the clouds and murder every God up there for giving Eddie so much pain, pain that he does not deserve.

Kasey cursed them all for being this cruel to a man who didn't deserve any of this.

To a woman who didn't deserve this.

To a child who didn't deserve to lost a parent...

And the moment Kasey reached the hospital, she was the first one to hold Eddie after he showed himself again. The first one to catch him as he fell. And the first one to let him cry in her arms as he clings to her in desperation.

Eddie felt like a child again after he went to his first funeral, he felt like he was a young boy crying and wailing questions to his mum who had no answers about death.

Eddie didn't think he would be feeling this way again for a while, epically after the war, he thought he was going to be okay and that no one he cares about will leave again.

But Shannon did.

She was leaving him all over again, just this time she wasn't going to come back and be a mother to Christopher.

And after Kasey, it was Bobby Eddie hugged next, but he went back to Kasey the second he left Bobby's embrace and all Kasey could do was bring her hand up to his hair, running her fingers through the long locks as she hushes him gently and tells him that they're all here for him.

She doesn't once tell him that everything's going to be okay or that she's sorry, and Eddie appreciates this, he secretly didn't want anyone to say this, and somewhere within him he knew Kasey would be the last one to ever say those words...not until she knew for sure he was going to be alright.

Kasey didn't dare to say it to him though as she knew all he needed was to be held and be told that he has people – that he still got them.

And that was all she did.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

Vanessa Prescott has known Kasey Strand since her birth. Growing up, Kasey befriended Vanessa son, Kit Prescott, who was her childhood best friend before going separate ways just before Kasey went off to fight in the war.

Kit has lived here since 2015 with his boyfriend, but Vanessa moved down to live with Kit in 2017 after the couple broke up.

Then when Kasey came to LA in 2016, Kit and Kasey began to meet up with each other every so often which was later joined with Vanessa after she moved down.

Today, Eddie joins them after Kasey begged him to leave his house for at least an hour and not plan a funeral, she could see being trapped and stressed on planning a funeral was ruining him, and Eddie obeyed and asked if she was busy.

Which, today she kinda was for the morning, but she allowed Eddie to join her in the café that she, Kit and Vanessa was meeting in.

"You've got a kid, right?" Vanessa asked with a smile as she brought her coffee to her lips.

Eddie nods as a real smile dances at his lips for once, it's been a few days since the last time he really smiled, the only times he did was a few very small ones whenever Kasey was round to help look after Christopher whilst he plans Shannon's funeral.

Kasey would try and make jokes whenever Christopher was around to try and keep his spirits up, whilst also Eddie's, and it was nice to see how happy Kasey got whenever either Diaz let out a laugh or a smile.

It even convinced Eddie that soon him and Christopher will be okay, they aren't drained of happiness, and they will be okay again.

"Yes," he smiles. "Christopher, he's one of the best things that has happened to me." Pulling out his phone, he shows both Vanessa and Kit a photo of Christopher whilst Kasey literally beams at the interaction between the three of them.

"He's probably the cutest kid I've ever seen," Kit speaks up, "reminds me of a Koala," both Kasey and Vanessa rolled their eyes as they prepared themselves for Kit's rambles, whilst Eddie throws a questioning look whilst stuffing his phone back into his pocket. "Did you know Koala and human's have very similar fingerprints?"

Eddie shakes his head, "no, I did not know that."

Kasey leans towards Eddie to whisper in his ear, "he's crazy with these animal facts and–"

"Do you ever wish to be a penguin, Eddie?"

Kasey pulls away from Eddie as she stares at her red-headed friend with wide eyes, and she secretly tells Kit to cut it out with her hand moving across her neck.

"Penguins, in my opinion, are one of the most romantic couples in the animal kingdom. When a male finds attraction to a female he will bring her the best pebble and if she likes the offering then they will find pebbles together to build their nest. They even mate for life," Kit sighs as he rests his chin in the palm of his hand, "I wish I was a penguin, and someone would bring me a cool rock."

Vanessa gives Eddie a sympathetic look which leads Eddie to slight confusion because why are they apologising for Kit? He hasn't done anything wrong. In fact, he thinks it's cool that someone has this much interest in animals and happily expresses all tons of information to people like Eddie who aren't so educated in that world.

"You know," Vanessa says as she tilts her head to look at Eddie with a smile that a mother would give their child, "you're the first friend of Kasey's that we have ever had the pleasure in meeting."

Kasey slaps her hand into her face, shaking it in embarrassment whilst a smile makes it way onto her face as she listens to Eddie chuckle next to her.

She hasn't heard him properly since Shannon's death, sometimes there was a very small breathless chuckle here and there, but this time he was looking down with a smile on his face whilst laughter left his mouth.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Kit chimes in.

"I didn't know you wanted to meet them," Kasey said sheepishly as she looked through the gaps of her fingers. She sinks slightly down in her seat as Vanessa sends her a mothering look of 'are-you-for-real?'.

Kasey slowly sits herself up whilst Kit continues to talk, "you must be Kasey's favourite then if she happily allows you to meet two of her most favourite people ever. That must make you a dolphin then, they are Kasey's favourite animals. Did you know that dolphins–"

Kit's voice drowns out to Eddie's ears after he feels Kasey's hand intertwine with his under the table and she feels her gently squeeze his hand.

Out from the corner of his eye, he noticed that Kasey was still looking forwards and nods along to what Kit is saying.

It was only a few weeks ago when the two of them made up this method for each other, around the same time Eddie began to realise that Kasey wasn't okay. Whenever they wanted to secretly ask if the other one is okay, they would hold the others hand and squeeze it. If they squeeze back then they're okay, if they don't then they aren't.

They weren't allowed to lie to one another though.

Eddie likes this method as it doesn't bring attention towards them from other people, and if one of them weren't okay then they didn't need to voice it just yet. They never did it around eyes either, always doing it when or where people couldn't see them because if people saw them holding hands they would think it was something else, when it wasn't, it was just two friends secretly asking if the other is okay.

Yesterday, Eddie only faintly squeezed Kasey's hand at the funeral.

But today, Eddie squeezes Kasey's hand twice, and she smiles.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

"Help, over here, my arm!" The woman moans in pain from the ground as the 118 (still without Bobby) enters the bedroom.

"Guys."

"Yeah."

Hen presses lightly on the woman's hand, listening to her grunt slightly. "I can feel it, but I can't move it. Like, really hurts on my shoulder."

"Looks like a fractured clavicle." Kasey mutters and Hen and Chimney look up at Kasey with shocked looks whilst the firefighter simply shrugs.

"What?"

They shake their heads whilst they continued to look over the woman, "it does actually," Hen confirms Kasey's words and a small, proud smile makes it's way onto Kasey's face.

Curiously, Eddie glances over his shoulder away from the phone on the livestream to smile at the sight of Kasey looking proud of herself for something.

"All I'm saying," Buck voice brings Eddie's attention back as he continues his complaints from earlier, "is that Kasey never has taken me to meet Vanessa or Kit."

"They're nice," Eddie replies simply, smiling playfully as he listens to Buck sigh in annoyance – and his smile clearly brought a lot of attention to the people on the live stream as they commented the cuteness of it.

"Yeah, well, that doesn't mean you have to rub it in."

"Uh, dispatch said something about an animal?" Chimney asked whilst Kasey looked around the room for the animal.

"Yeah, it, um, came out of my face."

Kasey pauses her hunting and turns around.

Eddie stands next to Kasey with his hands on his hips. "What are we looking for, exactly?"

"it was like a little, little worm."

"Like a maggot?" Kasey questioned as she tried to hid her disgust.

"Oh, don't say 'maggot.'"

"You know maggots only consumes rotten things like meat or waste or even overripe fruits and – Ow!" Kasey frowns as she rubs her side from Eddie elbowing her, shooting her a look before looking at the woman's disgusted face then looking back at Kasey with raised brows. "Oh...sorry."

"Think you've been talking to Kit too much," joked Eddie quietly.

"I can still here you," Buck muttered furiously but his voice changes to enjoyment when he spots the maggot on the desk. "Maggot!"

"You been out of the country lately?" Hen asks as she puts a cotton arm brace on the woman.

"Uh, yeah, I actually do a lot of traveling for work."

"What do you do?" Chimney wondered.

"Uh, I'm a beauty and fashion influencer."

"Has your circle of influence included Central and South America?"

Kasey watches in disgust as Buck picks the maggot up with a pair of tweezers and brought it closely up to his face to examine it before dropping it in the small plastic tub that Eddie was holding open for him.

Still, the three firefighters didn't know that they were on camera for a livestream.

"No, no. I mean, I did just get back from Belize."

"Belize is in Central America," grumbled Eddie.

"Oh. Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure."

"Botfly," states Hen as she signs a torch onto the woman – Becca's – face. "Parasite indigenous to Central and South America, including Belize."

Now Becca joined Kasey in watching Buck examine the parasite in the cylinder tub in pure disgust.

"They reproduce by trapping mosquitoes and laying their eggs on them. And then when the mosquito lands on you the egg hatches and crawls right into the feeding site."

"Ew."

"Lovely," Kasey voiced, face squeezed up whilst her eyes stays on her best friend who was still looking at the parasite with pureness – like this was one of the best things he has ever seen.

"Luckily, it looks like you got it out all in one piece." Buck says, eyes remaining on the parasite as he tries to bring good news to Becca.

"They'll be able to extract the rest at the hospital."

"The rest?"

"Think of them as new followers."

Buck chuckles and Chimney's comment.

"Gross!"

The team went round Becca to bring her up onto the stretcher. "Wait," she says as she eyes her phone. "Oh, my God, wait." She stretches her arm out. "No, no, no, no, can somebody grab my phone? No, go back. Hand me my phone."

Eddie and Buck notices the stream and both offer two very different waves to the camera before Eddie awkwardly makes his way to the camera to turn it off.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

"118, 118, this is Dispatch," Kasey heard through her headphones. "We got Bobby Nash on the line. He says it's important."

"Bobby..." Kasey mutters as she shots Eddie, Chimney and Hen a worrying look.

"Wait, what? Dispatch?" Chimney says. "Dispatch, please repeat."

The fire truck in front of them blows up in flames and Kasey screams, hand on the handle of the door as she tries to open it, but it was still locked.

"Buck! Buck!" She screams. "Buck is in there!"

The driver finally unlocks the door and Kasey pushes it open and jumps out in a hurry, but before she can make a dash towards the truck in flames, Eddie grabs her waist and brings her into his chest.

"Kasey! Kasey! No!"

"Buck! Buck!" She struggled in Eddie's grip. "Buck is in there! I need to see Buck! I need – Eddie let me go!"

"Eddie get her behind the truck!" Chimney demands and Eddie begins to drag a fighting Kasey to hide behind the fire truck.

"No! No! No! Let me get to Buck!"

Hen rounds Eddie and Kasey to stand in front of the pair, she brings her hands up to cup the young's firefighter's face. With her fingers, she wipes away the tears falling from her eyes. "You will get both you and Buck killed if we let you go."

Kasey shakes her head as her bottom lip trembles.

"Please," a broken sob left her lips and Hen sighed before letting her face go.

Eddie's grip become tighter the more she tried to wiggle her way out, he brought his lip down to her ear, breath hitting against her neck as he tried to comfort her. With one hand securely round her waist, he runs the other down her arm to overlap his hand with hers, fingers sliding in between hers as he gently squeezes it.

But to none of his surprise, she didn't squeeze back.

He then wraps both arms around Kasey to keep her securely against him.

Chimney went onto his radio and the people on the other side could hear Kasey's shouts a lot more clearly.

"Give me the Captain!" Freddie states as he paces in front of Buck.

"I swear," Kasey said through gritted teeth as tears rolled down her cheeks, "I swear if he hurt either of them more than he already has," Kasey grunts again, "I'll fucking kill him."

Eddie squeezes Kasey hips to try and comfort her but it just made her want to leave his hold and run to Buck even more.

Her best friend was in danger, and she couldn't protect him.

"Where's the Captain?!"

A firefighter pulls them across the ground in pain.

"Hey," Freddie makes his way towards him. "I told you not to move."

"Hey! Hey!" Kasey yelled as she noticed Chimney stomping his way forwards, "why is he going forwards?! Let me go Eddie! Eddie I swear let me fucking go or I–"

Chimney raises his hands up in surrender, "I'm the Captain, okay? I'm the Captain, so please just let me help them, okay? Please."

"He doesn't want him," Kasey grunts as she continues to fight Eddie grip.

"What?" Hen asks. "But he asked for–"

"He wants Bobby." Kasey responded.

"Kasey, please stop fighting." Eddie mumbles softly in her ear.

"Not until I know Buck is okay."

"No." Freddie says as he slowly walk forwards. "No, I don't want you. I want Captain Nash."

Kasey fought once again against Eddie to reach Buck. But Eddie kept a strong grip on her. Kasey begged him to let her go, but he didn't.

He couldn't risk her getting hurt, but Kasey didn't care.

She didn't care if the guy brought out a gun and shot her. She didn't care as long as it meant she can reach Buck and help him. She has been ready to die for him since the start, and if that meant risking her life just so she could reach Buck, then so be it.

So, she continues to fight against Eddie's grip, but she couldn't escape. But she continued to try for Buck.

Then she stopped at the sight of Bobby emerging from the crowd and heading towards Freddie with his hands up, and Kasey cries out, hoping the two guys she saw as family would hear her – hoping that by some miracle that if Freddie heard he would let them go.

But neither three of them heard her angry cries.

Hen now stood in front of, hand resting on Kasey's cheek as she tried to calm the youngest firefighter down – she promised Kasey that they will be alright, but Hen didn't even know if that was a promise she could keep, but she made it anyways as she had hope that they will.

"Wanted you dead." Kasey heard Freddie say and Kasey had to fight her best to not let herself collapse in Eddie's arms from the sight of two very important people in her life in danger, and that she was over here not being able to help.

It felt like someone stabbing a knife through her heart and twisting it.

"I get that." Bobby slowly takes a step forwards, arms still raised. "But what about them? What about him?" He quickly pointed at Buck with his finger in the air. "He's got parents, a sister, a girlfriend, a best friend, and he never did anything to you. He wasn't even a firefighter when your father burned down the restaurant."

"Collateral damage."

"Is that how you see yourself? An unintended victim in all this?" Bobby was much closer to Freddie now, practically face to face with one another.

"Stop," he raises the trigger, "one more step, we all go boom."

Kasey whimpered and all Eddie could do was hold her.

"Freddie, you got dealt a bad hand and I'm sorry about that. But what you did with it – that's a choice. You stopped being a victim the moment you left that first bomb."

"That lawyer – she..."

"Did her job." Bobby raised his voice. "We were all doing our jobs."

"Destroying my family. My mum and I lost everything. She was in so much pain."

"Want to make it worse? You want to make her watch you die?"

With his head, Bobby nodded his head forwards, and Freddie glanced round to see Athena and a detective with his mum.

She quietly mutters out his name, almost calling for the real him to come back home – to come back to her, for the Freddie she was seeing now was most definitely not her Freddie.

"Mum," he tilts his head almost like an apology.

Bobby sneaks up behind Freddie, grabbing him round the chest and held his hand away from the bomb's trigger. The S.W.A.T team came round Bobby and Freddie as they removed the trigger from Freddie's grip.

Out of shock, Eddie's grip loosens, and Kasey takes that chance to break free and run forwards, dodging Chimney who tried to grab her when she ran past, the moment she was close to Buck she skidded on her knees, not caring for the rips in her uniform or the burns that will be on her knees afterwards.

"Kasey," Buck whispers.

"Hey, hey, hey," Kasey smiles, voice strained from the yelling and crying as she taps her hand against the top of Buck's hand to let him know that she was there, and she was here. "It...hurts."

"I know, I know," she mutters, nodding her head furiously as she laid down to try and take a look of the damage of his leg on the fire truck. "We're going to have to lift it."

Buck groans.

The rest of team moves towards Buck the second Freddie is taking away from the scene.

"Still with us, Buck?" Chimney questions, a small lightness tone in his voice to try and distress the emotions around them.

Buck groans and pants again.

"Buck, how we doing?"

"Kind of numb." Buck responds to Hen. He carefully turns to look at Kasey who kneels right next to him. "Kas...can you hold my hand, please."

Kasey nods and very gently places her hand over his in a way to comfort him.

"This girl wouldn't stop fighting her way to you," Chimney shortly laughs.

"I'm gonna run two lines."

"Skin is cold and pale," Eddie states.

"Kasey...don't go." Buck stutters.

"I've got you. I've always got you," she whispers.

"Push sodium bicarbonate. Just hang in there, Buckaroo."

"Hang on, Buck."

"We got to get the truck off his leg," Kasey stressed. "It's the only way to get him free and–"

"Chimney stands up with his radio, "This is Captain 118. We've got a probably crush injury. I need all –"

Chimney pauses as he watches Kasey move her hand off from Buck's and ignoring his quiet calls for her. She shuffled closer to the truck and places her hands underneath the small gap between the truck and the road, attempting to lift the truck up herself as everyone was taking too long.

Kasey prayed to just suddenly gain super strength for a few seconds just to take this weight off from Buck, and the power to heal Buck too. She just wanted today to be over with, for it all to be a bad dream.

And if people were taking to long to lift the fire truck off from her best friend, her brother, then she will attempt to do it herself.

"–hand on deck to move this truck and clear a path to the nearest trauma centre."

Bobby now reaches them as he places a hand on Chimney shoulder. "How's he doing, Chimney?"

"We're out of time, Cap." Chimney turns. "Well, help Kasey and lift this truck off of him, yeah?"

They all prepared themselves as more hands went onto the fire truck.

"Hang on, Buck."

"Everyone hands on."

"Hurry the fuck up."

"You ready?"

"Hang in there, Buck."

"Ready! Lift!"

They all pushed the fire truck up with all their strength, all grunting whilst Eddie and Hen remained by Buck to check his vitals.

Buck screamed in horrific pain.

"Come on!"

They all placed the truck back down.

"You got to lift higher!"

"One more time, guys. Ready?"

"Hang in there. Hang in there."

"One, two, three, lift!"

The grunts of the lifters were repeated along with Buck agonising screaming and Kasey had to squeeze her eyes shut as she tried not to listen to Buck's screams.

"Higher!"

"Higher!"

"Hang on, Buck."

"She's too heavy." Bobby says with a shake of his head.

"We got anything on the truck we can use for leverage?" Eddie suggested.

"No." Kasey shakes her head, eyes now looking down at the ground. "We need more people."

Chimney brings out his radio, "Dispatch, this is the Capt..." he stops when he saw all the civilians watching them rush forwards the second the barriers were pulled away, all running to help them – to help Buck.

They all rushed to the ladders side of the truck to find space to push it up.

"Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!"

"Everybody, put a hand on where you can!"

"All together. One, two, three."

More grunts were heard as they lifted the heavy vehicle up for the screaming man under it, and finally they lifted it just high enough for Eddie and Hen to pull Buck out from the truck.

"We got him! We got him!"

"He's almost clear! Hold it!"

"Keep pulling! All right, we got him out!"

The truck lowered and hit the ground, but it didn't hit Buck for he was finally out.

Kasey rushed forwards, tapping Buck's hand gently once more just so he knows she's there.

"Kasey," he sighs at the knowing touch of his best friend, his sister.

And when they got him into the ambulance, Kasey was the one to ride with him to the hospital as a friend whilst Eddie, Hen and Chimney worked on him.

And when they got there, she went through the glass doors.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

"And a furious Kasey," joked Chimney as he sees the youngest make her way to the group.

"That better be Bobby in a Captain's uniform," she squinted her eyes as examines Bobby, only to break into a smile and give the man a hug when she knew he was back.

"Admit it, Kas," she turns around to look at Chimney, "you do miss Captain Han just a little."

"I wont lie to you Chim," his face lights up in hope, "I was planning 50 ways to murder Captain Han." His face drops and the group chuckles whilst Kasey leans forwards to gently push Chimney right shoulder.

"Things are finally getting back to the way they should be." Hen says.

"We just need Buck." Kasey mutters as she looks around the firehouse that feels slightly empty without him.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

“People assume we choose this life,” Bobby proudly says as he stands in a higher standard uniform at the front with Eddie next to him, hands behind his back, dressed in a proper and professional firefighter’s uniform. “I’m not so sure. Sometimes I think this life chooses us. For those that answer the call, there can be no doubt, no equivocation. It’s not just the lives of those we serve that depend on us, but our own. The lives of our fellow firefighters and first responders. Today we welcome into those ranks a new brother. After a year of hard work and dedication,” he and Eddie turns to look at each other with a fond proudness. “I am proud to officially declare that your probationary period is at an end. Welcome to the Los Angeles Fire Department, Firefighter Diaz.”

Bobby brings his hand to shake Eddie’s, his other hand went to be placed behind the younger firefighter’s back as their hands stayed together for a little bit longer for a photo to be taken.

“Thank you, sir.”

Everyone in the fire station clapped and Eddie looked round the place he has found belonging within, happily. His eyes found Kasey’s first who clapped and sent a playful wink his way, and Eddie smiled brighter before he looked at Christopher making his way towards him with a helmet in his hands.

Eddie meets him halfway as the claps died down to watch the father and son moment, he then crouches down to pick Christopher up. “What do you got for me, son?”

“I got you a helmet,” he whispers.

“Yeah, my helmet?” Eddie responds back quietly.

Eddie raises his son up into a hug, embracing him tightly as he smiles into his shoulder.

“Congratulations, Dad.”

“Oh,” Eddie awed with a breathless laugh, “thank you so much, Christopher.”

After everyone met or said hello to everyone, Kasey found her way to sit next to Eddie as he sits in the chair next to Christopher who was happily eating a slice of cake.

“Well, hello, Mr Firefighter.” Kasey beamed more when she heard the sweet sounds of Eddie’s laughter reaching her ears.

“Hi,” he looks over his shoulder before looking back at Kasey, “I see Buck is finally meeting Vanessa and Kit.”

Kasey rolled her eyes, “they’ve been talking for ages. Think it’s just Kit and Buck now though, last I heard they were talking about penguins.”

“Oh, God,” Eddie laughs, “and you escaped my mother too?”

Kasey playfully hits Eddie shoulder, “oi, she’s a lovely lady, okay?”

“She is, but she didn’t let you come over to congratulate me.”

“Oh,” she arches a brow his way. “You jealous that another Diaz was stealing my attention.”

He shrugs, “well,” he squints his eyes at her, “a congratulations would have been nice.”

Kasey smirks, “well, name your price and I’ll make it up to you.”

“Got to come back to me for that one then,” Eddie lifts his head to look round the room again, “is Jamie not with you?”

Kasey smirk fell to a small smile, “oh, er, no, we er,” she hesitates as she looks at Eddie before looking forward to facing the trucks that were by their table. “We broke up actually.”

“Oh?” He breaths out, brows raising as a familiar warmth heated his cheeks. “You doing okay?”

“It was mutual and for the best.” She pauses for a moment before quietly saying: “I guess I couldn’t like him as much…”

“As much as what?” Eddie whispers back.

They were staring into each other’s eyes, he’s looking right into her, and she was looking right into his, neither of them daring to look away. Kasey then leans back in her seat, head falling back perfectly, resting on the fire truck behind her, she tried to devise the perfect response. She crosses her legs, and his foot was now near hers, and they were still looking at each other.

Kasey then looks away.

After a few seconds she looks back at him only to see that he was still looking at her.

Kasey wonders if she’s ever seen eyes of such a drunken golden haze before, eyes that made Kasey wonder if he could move mountains and shake the ground with a single blink. Kasey has never noticed how his eyes has so much control over her, never realised that maybe, just maybe, those eyes that held more history than the night sky that her very own eyes would sparkle at the sight of, just like they do when staring up at the moon or the stars, were the first reason she fell for him.

Kasey Strand has realised she has fallen for Eddie Diaz.

The realisation was a hard slap to the face, she thought Jamie was going crazy when he was telling her that she liked Eddie and that it was okay. Jamie was the one to give Kasey the wake-up call, the call of that she liked Eddie.

He had no hard feelings for her, just asked for her to be happy, and all Kasey could say was that she will try, and for him that was enough.

Kasey wondered though how long she has been falling for Eddie and how she never noticed this before.

Was this something everyone knew? Did even Eddie know about her feelings? Is that why he was staring at her in a way that no one has ever dared to before?

Kasey knew after the breakup that she liked Eddie, and she sat in her car for ages thinking of everything she liked about him, and she reached the conclusion that she liked Eddie more than she has ever liked anyone, and if she’s being honest, that scared her. She doesn’t want to screw up like she done her enter life, and she believed maybe liking him in silence may be a good choice, but that would kill her from within, so instead, she chose to wait for so many reason.

For herself. And to see if Eddie felt the same. Also due to Shannon’s death and there was few other minor things that told her to wait too.

But Kasey has fallen pretty damn hard for Eddie Diaz, without even realising that she was falling for him, and she hopes if they ever get a chance together, if by some miracle he likes the “broken” girl next to him, then she hopes that she doesn’t fuck it up.

For a slight second, Kasey’s curious eyes flickered down to his lips, she gulps before shaking her head.

“Nothing,” she coughs, looking away from Eddie. “I just couldn’t like him the same way he liked me.”

A/N: Just to note that Kasey did in fact go to Athena and Bobby's wedding. She was Bobby's best man :)

[atinylittlepain]

okay bestie this isn't a request but Wish You The Best by Lewis capaldi literally makes me think of Joel (more preoutbreak than outbreak but honestly could be either) and it makes me think of Joel pushing you away because he's scared and knows he's losing the best thing in his life but can't bring himself to admit it adslkfj;

i just had to tell someone about this bc its making me emotional frfr

making me emotional on a wednesday morning with these lyrics goddamnnn

thinking about joel falling for a sweet lady in jackson and he tries to be good for her, he really does, but the minute they start getting closer he spooks

it happens one day, late in the afternoon. he's sitting on his porch, unlacing his boots after a long patrol shift when she appears, swishing up to his house, all loveliness and charm

they share a quiet greeting between a few soft kisses before she settles down next to him on the bench seat, tucking under his arm. he relaxes, just for a moment, before his whole body tenses. it felt too good, too real, and he tells himself that he doesn't deserve it

he's up in a flash, leaving her sitting with a furrowed look on her face as he makes some excuse about needing to go talk to tommy

after that, joel miller all but disappears, taking on longer and longer patrol shifts until he's barely in town, only passing through for dinner with his kid and sleep in his bed

he knows that it hurts her at first, tommy scolding him for leaving her high and dry, and he hates that he hurt her. but to him, there was no other choice. he thinks that she deserves someone good, someone without the tangled past he has. he lets her go

she moves on, eventually. there's a sweet, sandy-haired, blue-eyed man that she starts seeing, though when she sleeps at night there are only visions of someone with dark eyes and sun-worn skin. someone she still misses

a year later, standing at the altar in an old, white dress, her eyes catch on those dark ones in the pews. if she didn't know any better, she'd swear there were tears rounding that darkness

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (25 Feb - 2 Mar 2024)

nancy is the superstar of this show. she's in it for 5 seconds, drops the best line, steals the scene

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

🥰 What I Used To Be (thepinupchemist) - 117K, stucky, omegaverse trauma recovery fic - a relatively light tone, mostly escapist fic focusing on the recovery, not dwelling overly much on trauma details, kidfic but I really dug it

😍 The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi (Amina al-Sirafi #1) (Shannon Chakraborty, author; Lameece Issaq & Amin El Gamal, narrator) - just gonna KJ Charle's review bc she's better with words than I'll ever be: "Good god, this was incredible fun. Absolutely cracking. A sort of take on Sinbad but with more historical accuracy (apart from the demons, marids, etc), with a middle-aged retired lady pirate getting the crew back together to take on a Frankish coloniser/sorceror/baddie. It's just fabulous exuberant fun." I cannot wait for more!

😊 The Werewolf Companion (MargaretKire) - traumatized derek hale, intriguing larger worldbuilding, hot, wet, messy sex that really leaned into the 'definitely not human' aspect of werewolf fucking without going full xeno. super enjoyable

🥰 My Man Jeeves (Jeeves #1) (PG Wodehouse) - our intro to Bertie & Jeeves 💖 [via Serial Reader app]

💖💖 +50K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

A Fine Cure from Fennel Seed (Lucius Parhelion (Parhelion)) - original work, 10K - absolutely delightful amuse-bouche of an original fic; short, hot, slapsticky hilarious, set in the '30s

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Matt Berry and Peter Capaldi read a FIERY letter exchange

Hot Ones - Quinta Brunson

D20: Adventuring Party - s3, e1-5

D20: The Unsleeping City: Chapter II - "The Mystery of the Haunted Subway" (s7, e3)

D20: The Unsleeping City: Chapter II - "We Need to Talk About Cody" (s7, e4)

D20: The Unsleeping City: Chapter II - "Trouble at the Tunnel" (s7, e5)

D20: The Unsleeping City: Chapter II - "Collaborators" (s7, e6)

D20: The Unsleeping City: Chapter II - "Parade of Peril" (s7, e7)

Ghosts (US) - s3, e3

Um, Actually - s9, e1

D20: Fantasy High: Junior Year - "Fracas at the Frostyfaire Folk Festival" (s21, e8)

D20: Adventuring Party - "I See Your Butt Plug and I Raise You a Fist" (s16, e8)

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

Up First - The Sunday Story: The Diaspora's Troubled African Dream

How To! - How To Let Go of a Friendship

⭐ Switched on Pop - Beyoncé's Country

The Sporkful - Gary Gulman’s Ice Cream Joke Was A Cry For Help

Overinvested - West Side Story (2021)

Consider This from NPR - How The Underground Railroad Got Its Name

⭐ It's Been a Minute - Da'Vine Joy Randolph on 'The Holdovers' and becoming a matriarch

⭐ 99% Invisible #438 - The Real Book

⭐ Vibe Check - Be Forreal!

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Wendy Williams

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Jerry’s Hat Museum

Short Wave - Is It Possible To Feed To World Sustainably?

Decoder Ring - The Gen X Soda That Was Just "OK"

Off Menu - Ep 228: Ray Winstone

⭐ Twenty Thousand Hertz+ - All About That Bass

I Said No Gifts! - Oscar Montoya Disobeys Bridger

Throughline - The Right to An Attorney

The Assignment - Polyamory Is Having a Moment

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Black History in Plain Sight with Places Editors Jonathan and Michelle

Short Wave - Could Dune Really Exist? What Scientists Think of Our Favorite Sci-Fi Worlds

What Next: TBD - The Supreme Court Takes on Content Moderation

Dear Prudence - Am I a Bad Father If I Don't Want to Acknowledge My Kid Publicly? Help!

Welcome to Night Vale #243 - Lost and Found

You're Dead to Me - The Inca Empire

Today, Explained - It’s Shotime!

It's Been a Minute - Three ways to think about journalism layoffs; plus, Aaron Bushnell's self-immolation

Consider This from NPR - Are We Alone In The Universe?

99% Invisible - Roman Mars Describes Santa Fe As It Is

Under the Influence - Seeing is Believing: The Power of Demonstration Commercials - Part 2

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

CREDITS: Carole King

Chromeo Radio • Party

Pop Radio • 1990s

"Easy" [Commodores] radio

Steely Dan Mix • Focus

'90s Dance

Billy Joel Radio • 1980s

[whoufuckingfaldi]

Some observations about The Power of the Doctor. Not including and Thasmin stuff because I tackled that yesterday.

Firstly, I suspect how much people enjoyed the episode depends on if they have seen Classic Doctor Who. I grew up on Doctor who and absolutely loved all the classic stuff. Ace and Tegan had some great content and there was some great references. Chinball had previously brought back the Masters Classic Who tissue convertor, something which poor Tegan knows all about. Ace has always been a favourite Classic Who companion of mine and seeing her effectively shut the Master down when he was being a little shit was great. I know a few people have asked why there needed to be Daleks as they didn't really matter to the plot. Listen, the Daleks were literally only there so Ace could hit them with a bat, insult them and blow them up with nitro nine. That's reason enough for me.

Seeing the old Doctor's again made me leap from my seat. The 60th special next tear seems like its going to lean more to New Doctor Who with Tennants and Tate's return (with what appears to be a Classic villain). Therefore, I am glad that Chinball took the decision to honour Classic Who in this special. It makes sense really, as he has nodded more to Classic Who in general than the other show runners.

In terms of the Classic Doctor's, it was great that Paul got another outing as the eight Doctor and I love all his Big Finish Audio Stories. I think I was particularly pleased to see Colin Baker though. Colin may not have always had the best writers during his tenure in Doctor Who, but he was still a great Doctor. He also loves Doctor Who and loves the fact he got to be part of it. He is a gem at conventions and was really supportive of Jodie and openly but back at critics. He even turned up at a con in a Thirteenth Doctor cos play outfit. I was delighted that he got to return and its was poignant to me that it was in Jodies last episode. Also, I went to a panel with these four in Telford and they actually bicker like that in real life!

There was a much older reference to Classic Who, with the Doctor being made to have a forced regeneration for a second time. The first time was enacted by the Time Lords on the Second Doctor, forcing him to regenerate into the Third Doctor and confining him to Earth. The final nod to Classic Who was to have a brief cameo by other companions at their Companions Anonymous meeting at the end. It was lovely to see Jo and Mel and more amazing still to see Ian, a companion of the first Doctor. Let's hope we see them again in a UNIT spin off.

Talking of UNIT...how awesome is Kate Stewart? Chinball gave her some great stuff in this episode including a lovely moment were she finally got to go in the TARDIS. He also gave me the scare of the episode when I thought she might actually get converted into a cyberman. This was particularly emotional because at the end of season 8 Missy turned her dad, the Brigadier, into a cyberman (albeit after he was already dead). Kate's time in the Tardis with the companions also gave us a New Who reference, with everyone gathered around the centre console and pressing something at the same time like in Season 4 episode Journeys End. Perhaps a nod at the Ten and Donna specials that are to follow.

I have really enjoyed John Bishop as Dan and I like the fact he walked away of his own accord, rather like Graham and Ryan did, to focus on living his life on Earth. It was also nice to know that Yaz, having lost her Doctor, would have the support of him, Graham and other past companions. It was great to see Graham back and his interaction with Ace was funny.

There was a nod to Capaldi's era, with the Doctor being trapped in a Dalek casing. In season 9 Missy trapped Clara in one and during the same episode we saw twelve riding round in the Dalek casing of Davros. It was interesting how few references there were to Thirteens own era apart from the continuing story line with the Master. We had Graham, the Fugitive Doctor (in the form of a holographic cameo) and we had Vindor. I am not sure what Vindor brought to the table to be honest, other than a gun, and his story line was rounded of nicely and very recently at the end if the Flux. I personally would have brought back Angstrom from The Ghost Monument as an earlier Thirteenth Doctor reference. There were other tiny references too, for example, Yaz pushed the Master/Doctor over in a very similar way we saw Thiteen do in Season 12, although perhaps with even more malice. What we didn't see was any continuation of the Timeless Child storyline. It seems that for now, that story has concluded with the Doctor hiding the locket in the TARDIS, ready to be picked up and resumed at a future date if one of the showrunners fancy it.

Although the episode was largely used as a celebration of Classic Who, it did provide a fabulous platform for all three outgoing stars. Despite my confusion about were he fits in the timeline (i still refuse to believe its after Missy 🤣) Sasha has been a great Master. He has that great ability to be completely unhinged but also somehow charming, relatable and a bit pitiful all at the same time. This episode really allowed him to have at it and by god did he have at it. From the creepy manipulative calmness of Rasputin to his normal unhinged, sarcastic biting self. Then to the sheer wild childish joy of success at becoming the Doctor, whose outfit he wore very well by the way. Oh, and let's be honest, no one one is going to forget him boogieng around the Winter Palace dressed as Rasputin to Boney M's classic 'Ra Ra Rasputin' in a hurry. What a great way for him to sign off as the Master.

For Jodie and Thirteen it was also a great sign off. It showcased Thirteens ingenuity and energy (and love if Holograms) but most importantly it showcased how Thirteen has grown and evolved and what Jodies Doctor has been all about. It is a Doctor who has embrassed family whilst also simultaneously holding them at arms length. It is a Doctor who has fallen in love but learnt the lessons from the past and not acted upon it. Its a Doctor that takes responsibility for her mistakes and doesn't run from them. It's a Doctor who, although saddened by the fact she is going to regenerate, stands out to watch the sunrise and says "tag your it" rather than something arrogant and selve serving. To be honest the episode showcased why, despite some ropey writing at times, I have loved Thirteen and Jodie's portrayal of her.

Out of the three of them the episode probably showcased Yaz the most. Rather like in the Flux when she was separated from the Doctor, Yaz is resourceful enough and has the sheer willpower to solve problems and think outside of the box. The way she outfoxed the Master and undid the forced regeneration was super. Yaz is also very brave and again this was showcased, especially when she dashed out into danger to get the Doctor and carry her back to the TARDIS. Mandip had a lot to sink her teeth into and did really well with all the action and high energy moments. It was probably the quieter moments that really played to her strengths though. Mandip has a great range if facial expressions and it was the subtle moments of fear, confusion, contemplation, pain and realisation that she really stood out. She doesn't have to have a lot of lines to 'say' a lot. This really shone through in five key moments. Firstly, when Tegan said 'we used to be you', and you could see the cogs turning in Yaz's head. Secondly, the moment she exits the TARDIS after the forced regeneration and its the Master skipping around in Thirteens outfit. Yaz keeps herself calm but you can see all the fear, pain and anger in her eyes. Thirdly, you have the moment Yaz realises why the cloister bells are ringing. Yaz has done everything she can to save her Doctor but realises she is going to loose her regardless. Again it's a quiet pain, a resigned pain and hard to watch without wanting to cry for her. This quiet pain is repeated on top of the TARDIS when she mainly just listens to Thirteen talk, taking in their final moments together. There is also a bit of a shocked numbness there that carries into the fifth moment. As she sits around with all the other companions she is silent until directly asked a question. In her answer she is resolute despite the hurt. The Doctor will be fine, they will move forward with a new face and there will always be another companion or fam to take care of them.

So yeah, I really enjoyed the episode. I can understand why those who haven't watched Classic Who or haven't enjoyed Thirteenth's era would dislike it though. Unfortunately, if you were watching it for plot alone then quite frankly you were watching it for the wrong reasons. It was very much an anniversary episode and when you throw in the fact it was a regeneration episode too it was always going to have different priorities. What it did have was lots of loved characters, lots of energy, lots of joy, lots of pain and lots of top notch special effects. That'll do me just ace thanks 😉

[the--highlanders]

18, 27, 35 for the ask game!

18. Best Doctor monologue?

oh man this is a hard one because I bet I'm forgetting a whole bunch of them.

I'm a sucker for any of twelve's tbh. god peter capaldi can deliver a monologue. the zygon invasion/zygon inversion one is a Classic but also I can't go past the end of the doctor falls.

also I really love the pandorica opens monologue because it's absolute peak melodrama, and then he jumps down and says 'that should keep them talking'. it's a fun tiny little deconstruction that keeps Dramatic Moment For Television working in-universe imo.

27. Favourite companion’s family?

am I allowed to say the ocs I've made for jamie

I am obsessed with victoria's family tbh. both like, whatever's going on with her dad, but also her relationship with her dead mother.

in terms of like, companion families that play more of a role in the narrative. I honestly don't care a lot about the companion families in new who? so I'm gonna say donna's just bc how can you not love wilf. I'm also really disappointed rose didn't get more to do in the specials tbh, I thought she was great in the star beast and I would've liked her to have some one-on-one companion time with the doctor after sorting the metacrisis stuff out!

35. Historical, present day or futuristic episodes?

historical. like I am BEGGING for pure historicals you have no idea.

but even without being pure historicals I do really love just like, episodes set in the past? so many of my fav episodes are historicals. and I would kill for a historical companion again. on the other hand I do think historicals need to get the history /right/, in terms of how they treat the past - I would probably cite the witchfinders as my least favourite episode bc I think its take on gender dynamics in history is awful.

also episodes combining future and past. like I'm as iffy on the romance aspect of the girl in the fireplace as anyone but if you take that away I LOVE that episode.

doctor who universe question game!

[chipsinnit]

I have a lot of feelings about the Chibs-Whittaker era that I've kept bottled up since it started. Can I throw a tantrum? I'm gonna throw a tantrum.

This era feels like a retread of Davison's. It was an age defined by its lack of emotional involvement, lame stories, lifeless companions and an overqualified lead actor in a really, really stupid costume.

Three seasons in and she never got more than one good story, never got to really act, never got to *be the Doctor.* She doesn't have a memorable moment like Tom Baker's brooding banter at the beginning of Pyramids of Mars or Capaldi's fiery speech to the Zygons.

The Thirteenth Doctor never had a set personality or moral code from one scene to the next, only a series of passing quirks that never really informed a character. And the stories, oof. In place of new adventures, nearly every episode was steeped in continuity mining and weak moralizing with no consistent philosophical or emotional core. Her stories weren't backed by ideas, just watery centrist pandering to a fanbase that abandoned the show in droves in 2013. If we were lucky, we might have gotten a Magic Schoolbus episode where the Doctor pined about how important this or that historical figure was, or we might get to watch our favorite monsters be dragged out to wander around and talk for a whole episode.

Jodie Whittaker was miscast for the Doctor Chibnall wrote. A lot of people let Jodie off the hook for her underwhelming performance, but that's unfair to Chibs and the other writers. Davison, Capaldi and Smith were frequently strapped with shit dialogue and managed to sell it. Jodie never did.

Was this the worst era in the shows history? Probably not. The 80s are pretty much unwatchable, the early First Doctor stuff is rough and the movie is probably best left as a foot note. But for some reason I can't quite define, this one stings just a little more. Is it the wasted historical moment of our first female Doctor? The disrespectful lack of effort on the creative team's part? If someone else feels the same way, maybe you can help me find some words for this.

Remember when the Doctor decided it was more merciful to let a room of giant spiders starve to death than just shoot them or find them a new home?

Remember when the show fumbled the Partition of India story and totally let the British off the hook?

Remember when the show sided with Amazon against unions?

Remember when they squeezed the laziest gay romance in TV history into the very end of the era so it could be quickly erased?

Remember when they cast a black woman Doctor but just made her reenact a David Tennant episode and didn't bother to give her a personality or a purpose?

Remember series 12 and 13? Wait- no. Me neither.

Graham was great, though.

Goodnight, Chris Chibnall. I hope you enjoy watching RTD erase everything you worked for.

[cyarskaren52]

Considering the tragic events of losing Kobe Bryant, Gigi and seven others in that tragic plane crash its easy to forget that this happened on the same day as the 62nd annual Grammy Awards.

it’s not uncommon for awards shows to learn how to handle such tragedy that will overshadow the award ceremony coverage. What is however how they handle it that matters most.

in my opinion, this award show handled it perfectly. Yes it was entertaining but at the same time seeing all the tributes made it emotional at the same time and it was blended perfectly with one not overshadowing the other

Alicia Keys Seems to Reference Grammys Turmoil in Speech

“We want to be respected and safe,” the host said during the ceremony, in a possible nod to the Recording Academy’s internal chaos and Deborah Dugan’s removal.

The insider turmoil looming over the Grammy Awards was summed up pretty succinctly early in the ceremony on Sunday night.

“Let me be honest with y’all,” Alicia Keys, the ceremony’s host, said in a pre-song spiel from behind the piano. “It’s been a hell of a week. Damn.”

The longer version: A battle within the Recording Academy, the organization behind the awards show, came to a head 10 days before the ceremony when the academy’s new chief executive, Deborah Dugan, was removed from her position.

Dugan, in a complaint to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, said the organization retaliated against her for exposing sexual harassment, corruption in the awards’ nominations process and conflicts of interest. The academy in turn said Dugan fostered a toxic work environment.

Dugan’s tenure, as brief as it was — she joined in August — signaled what could have been a step forward for an institution criticized for a gender imbalance and lack of diversity.

For a community of artists anxious for progress, her abrupt exit struck a sour note — a sentiment Keys seemed to echo in her speech.

“It’s a new decade,” she said. “It’s time for newness. And we refuse the negative energy. We refuse the old systems. You feel me on that?”

“We want to be respected and safe in our diversity,” Keys continued. “We want to be shifting to realness and inclusivity. So tonight, we want to celebrate the people, the artists that put themselves on the line and share their truth with us.”

Keys’s performance was a play on the song of the year nominee “Someone You Loved,” by the 23-year-old Scottish singer Lewis Capaldi. The theme of her speech continued with her lyric: “It’s when people do nothing that the bad guys win.”

Dua Lipa, presenting the award for best new artist with Keys, also took a moment to acknowledge gender equality in the music industry. “There are so many stellar female producers, artists, songwriters, engineers,” she said. “And if you’re in the business, and you’re hiring, raise your sights to the amazing, talented women out there, because we all deserve a seat at every table.”

Below is Keys’s full speech.

O.K. We’re back. And here I am in my favorite place, at the piano, where I always go when I need a little energy. You know what I mean? When I need a little, when I need some good vibes, I come here. So let me give us some background music while I’m talking. Because let me be honest with y’all: It’s been a hell of a week. Damn. This is a really, it’s a serious one. Real talk, there’s a lot going on. And can I also have a little more piano in my ears please so I can properly serenade the people? You know, I need to serenade y’all for a minute. But you know what? I’m proud to be standing here, you know? I am. I am. And I’m proud to be here as an artist, for the artists, with the people. And I feel the energy of all the beautiful artists in this room. It’s going to be an amazing night, amazing night. Because it’s a new decade. It’s a new decade. It’s time for newness. And we refuse the negative energy. We refuse the old systems. You feel me on that? We want to be respected and safe in our diversity. We want to be shifting to realness and inclusivity. So tonight, we want to celebrate the people, the artists that put themselves on the line and share their truth with us. And I mean, we got the incredible Billie Eilish right here in this building. That’s great. That’s my little sister right there. We got Lizzo, who just owned the stage. Eight nominations and already a winner tonight. We have the magnificent Ariana right here in the building tonight. You see us? You see us? We’re unstoppable. We get to be who we want to be. We get to be different. We get to be unique. We get to be everything, right now. So I’m looking forward to being here together with all of us, again, celebrating this music. Because I know how much Kobe loved music. I know how much he loved music. So we’ve got to make this a celebration in his honor, you know? He would want us to keep the vibrations high. You know music is that one language we can all speak. It don’t matter where we’re from. We all understand it. So I want to show some love to some of the artists who spoke this language so beautifully with us this year. So I’ve got something for you.

Sent from my iPhone