#its out of order because i took the screenshot to make the post and then dont post it until i think about it again

[oceanwithouthermoon]

FUCK he makes me. GRAFAGHRHRGHHHH.

[krirebr]

Beyond These Walls in Front of Me

Pairing: dark!Andy Barber x f!reader

Word Count: 3.3k

Summary: Andy brings you into a new part of your home. Part of the Trapped AU.

Warnings: Dark elements, kidnapping, human trafficking, training, references to punishment, isolation - Just trust me when I say that this is dark. All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Masterlist

A/N: And here is the winner of the poll I posted last week, asking you all to help me choose the next part of this AU to work on. Of all the options, this was the one that was least fleshed out in my head, but I really like how it turned out! A quick reminder that this is an out-of-order AU, so this one is obviously after reader's first day but before Christmas.

Big thanks as always to @paperweight91 who always tolerates me sending countless screenshots and answered my endless questions of "Is this too much? Not enough? Does it make sense??"

Any comment, reblog, or ask to let me know what you think will be greatly appreciated. Even if it's just screeching at me. As always, thank you so much for reading! 💜

You woke up at the buzz of your wristband. Andy’s arm was slung over your side as he snuffled into your neck in his sleep. You took a moment just to breathe, to gather your strength for the day. You could afford that time, you hoped. You didn’t think it’d put you behind schedule. Then, you got up, exceedingly careful not to disturb the man who shared your bed. You had learned your lesson, there. It was time to start your morning routine.

You took a shower, and using all the products he liked, cleaned yourself thoroughly. Once you were done and dried off, you applied moisturizer to your entire body. You’d given yourself a manicure and pedicure yesterday, so your hands and feet shouldn’t need attention, but you still double-checked to make sure the polish hadn’t chipped. Then it was time for hair and makeup.

Andy liked the sort of ‘low-maintenance, natural’ look that actually took forty-five minutes so you didn’t have time to waste. You got out all your toners, primers, serums, powders, gels, stains, etc. Thank god for the wide counter and twin sinks because you needed all that room to make yourself perfect for him. You avoided looking yourself in the eye in the mirror as much as you could. You already knew what you would find there. Emptiness. You didn’t need to see it again.

Once your makeup was done and your hair was in one of his approved styles, you tiptoed into the walk-in closet that he’d left unlocked and put on the outfit he’d picked out for you last night. It was a dress. Of course, it was. It always was. You hadn’t worn pants in… well, you weren’t sure how long. Time was slippery these days.

You stepped back into the bedroom to find Andy just starting to stir. You closed your eyes for just a moment, bracing yourself, then went to his side of the bed. With a gentle hand, you brushed his hair back from his face, then placed a soft kiss on his forehead. “Good morning, sir,” you cooed. Your hand traveled down from the top of his head to cup his cheek, just how he liked, and he nuzzled into it as he hummed sleepily. He didn’t open his eyes though, so you slowly pulled back your hand and made your way to the bedroom door.

You held your wristband up to the sensor and the door unlocked. You knew that if you looked back, you’d see Andy’s phone on his nightstand, lit up with the alert. So you didn’t look back.

As you walked down the hall, you couldn’t help the way you sort of held your breath as you walked past the punishment room as quickly as you could. Andy had taken to leaving its door open lately, in case you needed the reminder. You kept your eyes forward and didn’t look inside.

Once you got to the kitchen, you immediately started preparing breakfast. Andy had mentioned last night that he was in the mood for pancakes, so you got out the ingredients, along with eggs and bacon, and got to work. Breakfast was the most stressful meal to make because the timing was so delicate. Take too long and it wouldn’t be ready when he came out, which would displease him. But make things too quickly and they would just sit and get cold, which you had learned quickly also made him angry. So you kept an ear open to the bedroom and hoped for the best. 

It lined up well today because just as you were stacking the last pancake on the serving plate, Andy came out and wrapped himself around your back at the stove. He was wearing sweats and a T-shirt, so it must be Saturday. That meant you’d gotten to sleep in a little this morning. How nice.

“Good morning, Sweetheart,” he rumbled, in between peppering kisses down your neck.

You didn’t shrug him off. “Good morning, Sir,” you said. “Breakfast is ready.”

He made a hungry little moan into your neck. “Everything smells so fucking good. Including you.” He finally let you go, picked up the cup of coffee you had ready for him, and took his seat at the table.

When you brought the food over to him, he tilted his head up in expectation. Without grimacing, you lowered your head and kissed him. He took control, as always, with a hand on the back of your head. The most important thing was not resisting him. You’d learned that the hard way.

Once he released you, you started to move away so you could make your own breakfast (oatmeal and fresh fruit like usual), when he grabbed your hand, stopping you. “Hold on,” he said. “There’s something we need to talk about.” 

Your stomach dropped. No. What had you done wrong?? You’d been trying so hard to be good! You were good. You were. 

You nervously glanced at him to find him looking at you curiously. He held your gaze for a moment, then commanded, “Kneel.” 

You froze, for just a second. This was new. You weren’t sure where it was going. Maybe he wanted you to keep his cock warm while he ate. You could do that. You could. You could do a lot of things if it kept you out of the punishment room.

You dropped to your knees at his feet, looking up at him through your lashes and a wide smile bloomed on his face. He gently cupped your cheek with his hand and cooed, “Such a good girl.” Then he straightened his hand and tapped your cheek twice with his fingers. “Get up, sweetheart.”

You stood up, visibly confused, and let him guide you onto his lap. He just held you there for a bit, just stroking his hand up and down your arm. When he finally spoke, he said, “You’ve been so good lately. So obedient. I’ve noticed how hard you’ve been trying. How much you’ve improved.”

You didn’t need any prompting to say, “Thank you, sir.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. That’s why I think you’re ready.”

Your brows furrowed. “Ready for what, sir?”

The smile he gave you was gentle, proud. “To move upstairs with me.”

“Upstairs?” you gasped. You didn’t know how to react to that. Upstairs had always been a far-off future thing. Just do what he says so you can get upstairs had always been the mantra, but now that the time had come, what did it mean? What should you do?

“Yes, sweetheart,” he said. “Upstairs. We finally get to start our lives together.”

“I–” you started and stopped, suddenly overcome by fear. You didn’t know what was upstairs. You only knew the basement, only knew what to expect in the basement. “What do I need to do, sir?” you finally asked.

“Right now,” he said, his tone full of amusement, “why don’t you get me another cup of coffee? Then you can make yourself breakfast and when you’re done eating, clean up the kitchen. I’ll take a shower after breakfast, that should give you some time. Then I’ll bring you upstairs.”

You hated the relief you felt at knowing what to do. “Yes sir,” you said as you scrambled off his lap and headed straight to the coffee maker. Andy watched you with a satisfied grin on his face.

You turned around halfway up the stairs, Andy right behind you. “You’re sure this is ok, sir?” What if this was a trick or a test? What if he changed his mind when you got to the top and you’d be punished?

He just raised an eyebrow. “Are you second-guessing me, sweetheart?” His tone was still light, but you knew you’d messed up.

You shook your head frantically. “No! No, sir. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! Whatever you want, I’ll do whatever you want.”

He brushed his fingertips down your cheek. “I know you will, sweetheart. Now, turn around and keep going.”

You did as he said and finished climbing the stairs. When you got to the top, you tried the door but it wouldn’t budge. You held your wristband up to the sensor but nothing happened. Oh god. As you started to turn around to ask him what to do, he crowded into you, pressing you into the door, covering you with his body so you couldn’t see what he was doing. But you heard the beeps of a keypad.

And then his arm wrapped around your stomach to hold you as he opened the door and he was nudging you onto the main floor.

The first thing you noticed was how bright it was. There were windows! Sunlight was streaming in. As soon as Andy let go of you, you ran to the nearest window and turned your face up into the light. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but you swore you could feel the sun’s warmth through the glass. You hadn’t seen daylight in… you had no idea. You hadn’t been able to keep track of time down there, but months. It must have been months. Tears started to gather in your eyes and you tried to blink them away. He only liked it when you cried during sex or punishments, otherwise you were being manipulative. You couldn’t do anything that would rob you of this sunlight.

“Sweetheart,” he called from behind you. When you didn’t register that, he called your name, a hint of sternness sneaking into his tone. That got your attention and you looked over your shoulder. “Come here,” he said.

You pulled yourself from the window and went to stand in front of him. He put his hand on your cheek and ran his thumb over your bottom lip. “Now,” he said seriously, “being upstairs comes with a lot of privileges, but it doesn’t mean you can forget all your rules, ok? Or that you’re done training. I expect you to be just as good up here as you were down there. And if we have to go back downstairs, for whatever reason, I need you to know that it will be much worse for you. Do you understand?”

You nodded quickly. “Yes, sir.”

He smiled, big and genuine and you thought briefly of how that smile would make you melt on anyone else. “You can call me Andy now, sweetheart. That’s one of the privileges I was talking about.”

“Thank you, sir,” you said, the honorific so engrained in you it just tumbled out. “I mean, Andy,” you corrected yourself hurriedly, committing the new rule to memory. “Thank you, Andy.”

He cupped your cheek. “You're welcome sweetheart,” he cooed. “I am gonna miss the way you say ‘sir,’ though,” he added with a lascivious glint in his eye. 

You stood as still as you could as he ran his thumb under your eye, collecting the tears that had gathered there. He looked you dead in the eye, and you couldn’t help but lower your eyes in response. “Come on,” he said, with a grin in his voice. “Let me give you a tour of the house.”

He took you into the kitchen first, of course, and immediately started extolling all its virtues, but you couldn’t hear him. And you could only see one thing. On the stove, in the middle of all the controls, was a digital clock. It read 10:37. It was the morning because of the light streaming through the windows. (There were even more in this room. There were windows everywhere.) And it was Saturday because Andy was home today and he hadn’t been home yesterday. It was 10:37 on a Saturday morning. Holy shit. Downstairs, you hadn’t had any indication of time passing other than the buzz of your wristband letting you know it was time to get up, or start a chore, or make a meal. But now, it was 10:37. And the next time you looked at it, you would know exactly how much time had passed since now. Time would mean something. You wouldn’t be adrift anymore.

You were crying. You couldn’t help it. Andy turned back to you, one hand still on one of the two stacked ovens that were built into the cabinetry as the other moved to his hip. “What’s wrong?” he asked harshly.

You shook your head urgently. “Nothing, nothing’s wrong. I’m sorry, Andy.”

“Tell me the truth, sweetheart,” he said, with that tone that said you were on your way to the quiet room, at the very least.

Your eyes darted around the kitchen frantically, trying to find an answer that would appease him. “No, it’s nothing. I’m alright. I just– It’s so much. I’m– I’m overwhelmed. I feel so much.” It was much more honest than you usually were with him, not counting the early days when you would scream what you really thought of him before you understood the consequences. But you didn’t know what else to say.

He took a few steps, closing the space between you and it took every muscle in your body to make yourself stand your ground, not flinch away. As soon as he was close enough, he pulled you into his arms, hugging you tightly. “Oh, honey,” he said, his tone so much gentler than before. “I know. I’m so happy to have you up here, too. This is going to be so good for us.” He just stood and held you, running a soft hand up and down your back. After a few moments, he asked, “Ready to see the rest of the house?”

You knew the correct answer, so you ducked your head and said, “Yes, Andy,” as he released you. He grabbed your hand tightly and quickly tugged you into the next room.

You absently took in the large sectional, the big TV on one of the walls, more windows, but mostly you were struck by how much bigger the living room was than its basement counterpart. You’d assumed, foolishly, apparently, that the square footage of where you’d been living roughly matched the main floor above it, but as you looked around you were sure that this floor at least doubled where you’d spent the last who knows how long. You couldn’t help the shiver that traveled through you as you wondered what else was down there. 

There was a dining room and another sitting room next but you weren’t taking anything in, couldn’t describe anything about this house if pressed other than typical upscale suburban fare. It fit him. You had the sudden, chilling, thought that maybe it would fit you too someday. Soon. If you continued to become who he wanted you to be. Because you already were. As much as you’d tried to stay yourself, especially at the beginning, you felt all the ways he’d ground you down, all the ways you’d changed. You remembered how easily you’d slipped down to your knees just an hour or so before. Just because he’d told you to. You wanted to cry again, but you wouldn’t. He wouldn’t like that. And wasn’t that just all there was?

As you came upon the stairs leading to the next floor, you stopped dead in your tracks without thinking, your hand falling out of Andy’s now lax grip. The front door. It was just… right there. For anyone to use. Anyone to enter. Or exit. A thousand thoughts flew through your mind all at once. You could just run. Right now. Maybe with the element of surprise, you’d get a head start. There were hooks on the wall, and on one of them hung a set of keys, what looked like car keys with a few others. Grab them and run and maybe you could do it! But where would you go? You didn’t know this neighborhood, this town. You didn’t have anyone you could go to for help. You didn’t have any form of ID. Last you knew, Andy had all of your papers and cards locked up in his safe. And those were all the new ones he’d gotten for you. Your original identity, your real one had been destroyed. You knew. He’d made you watch him do it. 

As you argued with yourself, on the verge of saying fuck it and making a run for it despite all the reasons not to, you noticed a small black sensor to the right of the doorknob, identical to the ones downstairs. The ones that your wristband would unlock only if it was an authorized time. The ones Andy controlled on his phone. 

You looked up to find him already on the first stair, his gaze locked on you. Your indecision couldn’t have lasted that long. Just a few seconds, if that. But, as he stared at you, you felt like he could see every thought you’d ever had. You wanted to shrink back, maybe run down the stairs to the basement before he threw you there himself, crawl into the punishment room, and beg for mercy. 

But before you could do anything, he held out his hand. “Ready to see the bedrooms?” he asked. His face was completely blank, his tone betraying nothing. 

You tried to do the same, to not shake or look or sound guilty as you said, “Yes, Andy,” and took his hand, letting him guide you up the stairs.

On the second floor, he brought you down the hall, bypassing several doors before pulling you into the room right at the end. It was huge, was your first thought. So much bigger than the room you’d spent the last who knows how long in. The walls were painted a light blue-gray, all the furniture – dressers and nightstands, a much darker gray. The bed was one of the biggest you’d seen, Californian King at least, maybe even Alaskan. It was covered with plush, fluffy bedding and lots of pillows, all in different shades of blue, with a light gray, stuffed, and quilted headboard resting against the wall. It all screamed luxury and relaxation. You were reminded of those home improvement shows you used to watch when you had the freedom to. They’d talk about how your bedroom should be a sanctuary, everything chosen to inspire relaxation and calmness. This was the sort of room they were talking about. You could have laughed, as all you could feel was the foreboding presence of Andy, standing by the door, watching your every move. You’d never relax in here.

You continued to explore the room, trying to act like you couldn’t feel his suffocating gaze on you. Your eyes slid over the ensuite to the two walk-in closets. You immediately noticed that there were no locks on the doors. Did that mean you’d be allowed to pick out your own clothes? And did that even matter if everything was chosen by him in the first place? 

You turned back to find that he’d taken several steps closer to where you stood in the middle of the room. “I know,” he said, “that I should’ve shown you the other rooms first, but I’ve been desperate to get you inside our room, see what you look like in it.” His arms came up around you, pulling you tight to him. “You’re perfect. You fit perfectly. In this whole house. You feel it too, don’t you, sweetheart?”

“Yes, Andy,” you said by rote, but you did feel it. You knew exactly what he meant. You fit perfectly, just like the nightstands, or the couch downstairs, all the tables and chairs. Just another piece of furniture that he picked out specifically to make his home perfect.

His hand came up under your chin, tilting your face so that you had to make eye contact. “I’m so happy I bought you,” his words chilled you as he went out of his way to remind you of your place here. “You were worth every penny.”

You closed your eyes for the shortest moment, letting yourself feel the horror. Then you opened them, met his gaze, and said, “Thank you, Andy.”

Tag list is open

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[thebroccolination]

People Think Krist Is Homophobic (but He Isn’t)

[TW: discussions of homophobia, death threats, "the rape filter joke", etc.]

Last September, I made a thread about The Whole Krist Thing, and I'd like to make a version here on Tumblr as well.

NOTE: My being a queer fan of Krist doesn’t override the feelings or opinions of other queer people. I fully understand that time on this planet is limited and you don't need to exert precious energy into researching an actor. The reason I'm making this is to provide context for people who are new to the fandom or just wondering why Krist is known as homophobic.

- Why I Made the Twitter Thread -

As a queer international fan living abroad, my understanding of Thailand, Thai culture, and Thai language is extremely limited. Like most of us, I rely entirely on translations, both official and fan-made.

After watching SOTUS for the first time in 2020, I saw English-speaking fans claiming that Krist Perawat, the actor who played Arthit, was homophobic. And it wasn't just one or two people saying it. It was dozens. Hundreds. That called for some research. I loved Arthit, and Krist's empathetic portrayal of him didn't mesh with the angry guy in the Instagram photo I was seeing passed around.

I'd made a number of queer Peraya fans on Twitter, so I went to them individually and asked, "What's this about Krist being homophobic?" As queer fans who were knowledgable and openly fond of Krist, I wanted to hear their side of things.

They sent me links and photos and videos and translations that thoroughly explained how Krist's reputation for being homophobic had gotten so out of control. The problem: those things weren't compiled in one place, and they were all on Twitter where the Asian Peraya fandom is most active. Interfans, meanwhile, took the worst of everything they could find and compiled it into contextless videos for Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, etc. Since the vast majority of Krist's fanbase is spread across Asia and many of them don't engage with the international fandom, it's no wonder to me that the homophobia thing has become so ubiquitous over the years.

It's a paradox where, in order to see the evidence of Krist's allyship, you kind of have to be a fan already. Or you have to know which keywords to use to navigate Twitter's nightmare of a search function (I know, Tumblr is worse). While I made that thread, I was regularly texting Peraya I knew things like, "Do you know where that one interview from 2019 is?" or, "Did you take a screenshot of the marriage equality post he made last month?"

The thread was difficult to make, and I'm a fan! What I know of Krist, I know because I've been a fan for three years and I have access to information that fans who have been here much longer can find.

I also procrastinated on making it for ages. I knew the amount of vitriol people hold against him, and I just wanted to enjoy my time in fandom quietly without calling waves of anger and hate to my carefully curated little corner of sunshine.

Then Krist was in a car accident.

And even though he was reportedly driving safely and slowly, Thailand is notorious for its poorly maintained roads and a high number of traffic accidents. Only months after receiving his first driver's license, Krist's car flipped upside down, and he had to reassure fans from the hospital that he was physically all right, just shaken.

Meanwhile, some international fans thought it was funny.

And that's when I started making the thread.

So, with all that said, let's start with Krist's allyship, because I know most of us agree that that's the bare minimum for an actor working in the BL industry and profiting off the queer community.

- Acts of Allyship -

In the early days of their SOTUS fame, Krist and Singto were interviewed about the LGBTQ+ community.

Acceptance and equality is something that the LGBTQ community still struggles to achieve up to this day. But both Singto and Krist believe that this should not be the case. “They are just humans. They are like me, and they are like everyone,” Krist claims. Furthermore, he mentions that we should all be given the freedom to love anyone we want to love. “It’s just natural,” he says.

“They don’t have to understand now,” Singto says, referring to those who can’t grasp same-sex relationships. “One day, when they find their true love, they will realize that love is the same no matter the gender.” Krist adds, “Gender is not relevant when it comes to love. But in case some people still don’t understand this in time, what’s important is that we all give due respect to each other at the end of the day.”

He's also educated himself in colors representative of the LGBTQ+ community.

When Krist and Singto attended an award ceremony for their photoshoot in the gay magazine Attitude, Krist shared a sentiment that he gave to a queer friend of his. "If no one accepts you, you can stay with me, because I accept you for who you are." [Paraphrased]

Despite Thailand's current government leaning on BL series as a new soft power, it's still very conservative, and its people are to this day fighting to see equal marriage recognized.

Krist often adds his voice to this fight on Instagram, specifically as someone who works in the BL industry. These were in 2021 and 2022:

And, like many young people in Thailand, Krist also seems to support the Move Forward party. Earlier this week, he used an orange heart in a tweet to encourage people to go out and vote in the most recent election. One of the many things the Move Forward party is pushing for is the legalization of same-sex marriage "with the same rights and responsibilities as their heterosexual peers", which the current military government actively does not.

- His Circle -

When I was making my Twitter thread, I hesitated before including mention of his queer friends and coworkers. I knew how that would sound, but in the same way I felt it was important to mention my own queerness, I also think it's important to highlight not just the presence of queer people in his life, but how comfortable they are with him.

As I said in my Twitter thread, having queer friends isn’t indicative of anything substantial, but I do think it’s important to look at how those queer friends interact with him. If you’re queer, you know firsthand which friends you’d be physically affectionate with. The entertainment industry is its own world, of course, and the weight and meaning of relationships and connections can be different, but for all Krist's fame and popularity, he's not so famous or remotely powerful that faking a friendship with him is going to get them very far.

Among his queer friends, you've got Jennie who babies him, Godji who treats him like her son, and Oat who still adores him years after SOTUS. All of them queer, all of them visibly affectionate in a way that feels authentic, at least to me.

On the professional side of things, I think the best example of someone who wouldn't bother with him if he were homophobic is Golf Tanwarin Sukkhapisit. In 2022, Krist worked on The War of Flowers with Golf, a nonbinary queer activist, former MP, and director of The Eclipse. Since they're not just a queer person in the industry but a vocal queer activist who's made incredible progress for the community in their country, I value their judgment of his character.

Again, the reason I bring up these people isn't to say, "Look! Queer people! He knows some!"

It's to point out that he's close to them, and it disrespects their judgment to casually assume that they’d cosy up to a homophobe.

It's a small point, yes, but it was important to me when I first became a fan to see that queer people who know him personally had "vetted" him.

- Growth -

For this next section, I'll address three things I see brought up most often: the rape filter joke, the rumor that Krist said he doesn't like watching men kiss, and the claim that he's only doing BL because rent is due.

1) The Rape Filter Joke

In 2017, Krist and Singto were on a live with (I think) two other friends. They were testing out different filters, and when they got to a blur effect, one of them (one of the friends, I think) said it looked like the filter they put over victims of sexual assault on the news. They all laughed, including Krist and Singto.

I can't find a video of the original event, but we do have a translation of the apology he gave in 2018, and the public apology he made in 2020 when the video resurfaced again.

While this is unfortunate, and it would be nice if he hadn’t done it, I’m more interested in how he responds to criticism and his growth afterward. The incident was in 2017, but even speaking on it in 2020, he didn't make excuses for himself.

He apologized, accepted culpability, educated himself, and has never repeated it.

2) Krist "Doesn't Like to Watch Men Kiss"

There's also a claim that goes around that Krist said he doesn't like to watch men kiss. But that isn't what he said.

The subtitled interview that this claim was taken from has been split into two parts, and I think a lot of people have only seen the first half, if they've seen either.

(Also, my deepest apologies, but I'm linking you to Twitter for the video clips.)

In the first clip, the hosts tease Krist about Singto's sex scene with another actor in Close Friends. I can't speak to the nuances of what Krist is saying in Thai, but in the subtitles, he's basically saying that as a guy, he doesn't want to watch stuff like that and just skips past Singto and his partner to one of the other couples, like the male-female pairs. With just this clip, I agree that it doesn't sound great.

But in the second clip, the hosts tease Krist until he admits that the "stuff" he doesn't want to watch is Singto specifically kissing people who aren't him. Krist's jealousy, especially when it comes to Singto, is a well-trod fanservice joke.

3) He's Doing BL Only for the Money

I mean, I have no idea, but it'd be very weird if this was true, because he hasn't been in a BL since 2018 (if you count Our Skyy), and he's doing very well for himself financially.

Listen, this is probably the least serious people get when they criticize him, but I'm including it because why not, this is already a thesis.

From what I understand based on actors' comments, BL roles don't make a lot of money for the actors. (Boun even quoted a surprisingly low daily salary recently, and I'll share it here if I find it again.) Of course, I imagine Krist has enough fame and clout that he gets paid more than most actors, but to be frank, he absolutely makes more from all his other work.

Apart from the acting work he's done, he hosts two music shows, he starred in a musical recently, GMM just flew him to Japan for the first leg of his Asia concert tour, he runs a restaurant with Wave, and he has a bunch of sponsorships. And that's off the top of my head. The car from his accident in 2021 was a luxury model, and he replaced it with another pretty soon afterward. I'm not bragging for him or anything, but the "he's just doing BL for the money" is an odd thing to say when he probably already earns more than most without doing it.

It would have been a better argument back in 2016 when Krist's family was deep in debt. Krist's said that his main motivation to join the entertainment industry back then was to pay off that debt for his family, and he did so with the money he made from SOTUS.

Krist has spoken in the past about wanting to do more BL roles, but GMM preferred that he work with Singto. Now that Singto's left GMM (likely to start his own agency), Krist is in Be My Favorite, so I think his explanation tracks.

It's also worth mentioning that you can do something for the money and also love what you do. In the case of SOTUS, Arthit wasn't just a role that made him money, he's the character who changed Krist's life. He honors Arthit to this day by always wearing the bracelet he wore to his audition and by naming his music studio "SUN St." after Arthit.

(This is a very minor point, but I don't think a homophobe would cherish a queer role to quite that extent even if it was their kick-off point. If anything, they'd probably try to bury the role and pretend their real success started later.)

- Perception of Sexuality -

I think the reason the IG story hits people so hard is because Krist's reaction makes it seem like he's horrified that people could even think he's gay. My understanding is that he was tired of people interrogating him about his sexuality.

Krist is very openly affectionate with the people he loves, regardless of gender, which is clear in the photos with his friends above. Thus, he's always been like that with Singto. They hug before every show, they sleep on each other, cuddle, what have you. All the stuff of people who have developed a tight bond over the years.

When Krist was asked if he was afraid that that would put off potential partners in the future (which, good god, the questions they're asked) Krist said he doesn't care how people perceive his sexuality.

This was in 2018, the year Our Skyy aired, and he's said similar things in passing before and since.

- Conclusion -

All of what I've posted here is just a slice of what's out there. This is just the stuff I could find with reliable English translations because I'm making this for an English-speaking audience. Krist's fans already know all of this, which is why he has queer fans in the first place, and a lot of them are just too tired by hate fatigue to keep correcting misinformation.

I'm not trying to get every person in the world to like Krist, I promise. He's not perfect. He's a loud mess, and while he has four cats who love him, they're also exhausted by him. I just happen to like loud, obnoxious people, especially when they're as kind as he is.

There are plenty of Thai actors I don't vibe with for any number of reasons ranging from serious to petty. You have my written permission to dislike some people.

The Instagram story he posted was a bad move, we're all agreed. He agrees. He's apologized multiple times over the years. Whether one accepts his apologies is each person’s right, and I understand if this is enough to turn people away.

I just hope it's clear that he's been a staunch ally of the queer community and remains so to this day.

Personally, I'm more upset about the question.

This isn't a question you ask anyone.

And this wasn't the first fan to ask him.

According to people who have been fans from the SOTUS era, Krist and Singto were both relentlessly dogged by fans about 1) their sexualities and 2) details about their relationship with each other. We've all likely seen it happen to actors today, but back in 2016, there weren't hundreds of BL actors vying for the spotlight, so the spotlight hit Krist and Singto in a way that we can't imagine today. Most of us, myself included, arrived in this fandom long after SOTUS's meteoric rise to popularity that ended up saving GMMTV from bankruptcy, but given how many fans still behave like they're entitled to know an actor's sexuality, I think it's safe to trust that it was relentless. Fans accusing Kit Connor of "queerbaiting" as recently as 2022 is proof of that.

At the end of the day, there are plenty of reasons to dislike Krist, just like there are to dislike any person on this planet. He's hyperactive, he's whiny, etc. He's not flawless, but I think he's more than shown through his actions that he isn't homophobic, either.

He's not some actor playing queer roles for clout. He's vocally supportive of queer rights, and he backed that up this week in the polls by voting for the most progressive party in his country who are actively pushing for marriage equality.

But like I said, you don't have to like him, so I'll end this post with a quote from a friend who doesn't like Krist for the funniest reason I've ever heard:

"I don't think Krist is homophobic. I just don't like him because he reminds me of every kindergartener who demanded my attention at the exact moment when I was carrying something that could spill – and then it did spill, and they laughed about it for five minutes."

[findmeinthefallair]

I hadn't spotted these a year ago:

Oh my god, guys???!!! Parallels:

2. These are the same face - the Depression Face.

It tugs at my heart like nothing else, because...

3. Oooh never paid attention to this:

4. These lil' guys were moving and animated while sleeping here, aww:

5. The screenshot below, to me, is foreshadowing that Hunter may have expressed his wish to study at Hexside...but once that wish is actually granted, he too is gonna be depressed - at school, specifically - for months, and frustrated that he simply cannot be enthusiastic about classes the way he initially hoped. He'll push and push himself and judge himself for why he "can't even" enjoy lessons he's supposed to be excited about:

6. Do you think they took Hunter to the zoo's bird hall, before he carved Waffles (I personally view it as a good element of exposure therapy)? :

7. People usually put the S1 screenshot of Luz drawing light glyphs, next to the one with Flapjack fading away...but I saw this too:

It makes me wanna chew extra recycled cardboard about Luz and Flapjack parallels, specifically. Because of what they both offered to the world, if you think about it:

8. If Camila went through an outfit change like this in her nightmare:

Imagine the mayhem of Hunter's many nightmares with his many outfits :S

9. A really good reference for how Hunter healed pre-timeskip, is this sequence, where the order has been altered a bit below:

(who knows, maybe Willow recorded a lot of vids of him on her scroll T___T)

10. Wow this sums up the show doesn't it:

11. Ugh you can't tell me that...they wouldn't have had a similar-ish mirror scene with Waffles and older Hunter to these, if we had a full S3 or more seasons:

Him approaching a mirror with no palisman beside him...I can't imagine how that was in those horrible months. (Maybe he does this before heading out to conduct a Palisman Adoption Day)

12. I feel really happy, confidently believing that he unlearned this body language:

in the presence of adults, especially his new parental figures. Coercive control wasn't a dominating theme in his life anymore. And while we didn't see it onscreen, he would've found the space to even initiate connection via physical touch with his parents, like what Luz naturally does here:

I say "physical touch" specifically, because to quote @idlescree's amazing video analyses, Hunter's own physical body - not just his mind - was the ultimate and most intimate battleground for Belos to exert control, by possessing Hunter and using him as a puppet in the most direct way possible. So for Hunter to get physically close to family to express love after Flapjack's death, in spite of terrible spooky thoughts that he might still gravely injure others...that isn't a small feat at all.

13. I think his casual sweater is a plain gold colour, and his cosplay outfit has its yellow colour: because he's still influenced by Belos.

The black of the wolf tee and in the cosplay, feel to me like foreshadowing of his post-possession grief. Even after Flapjack is gone, Hunter still thinks about Belos and is still walking around in the same cosplay outfit. His newfound freedom and healing is reflected in his timeskip design (calm midtones of orange and blue): when Belos has no more hold on him via a painful history. We would see a progression from the predominant darkness of the black colour to those peaceful midtones on his clothing.

14. Best one saved for last! It's a headcanon, but I draw a few connections. @childlikegoblinqueen and I were talking about him likely returning to the place where poor Flapjack was slain, even if it takes a number of years before he can do so. Waffles will be with him.

Imagine...instead of running frantically in the night:

he calmly strolls during a beautiful Halloween evening, with autumn leaves blowing in the wind once again:

There are no horrors awaiting him, and very importantly, he can believe that.

And he visits the spot at the lake, and puts his hand to his chest:

but for once, he can smile while doing that specific gesture. All the times that he has put a hand to his heart in the show, he wasn't smiling (link). He then leaves and then returns to his family (walking in the opposite direction of the portal above) to have an actually joyful Halloween celebration.

[hballegro]

alan alda storytime

the full story from one of the screenshots of my previous post.

story begins with my archaeology professor showing a slide of alan alda in the early 2000s holding some mammoth bones and asks the class if anyone recognizes him. i had watched some MASH with my mother when i was little and had also seen the movie The Object of My Affection, so i raised my hand and said it was alan alda. he lit up and said yes, it was, and told the rest of the class he used to be on this old show, and that when we got more into the bioanthro side of things, remind him to 'tell his alan alda story'.

about 2 months later, we are in bioanthro, and i remind him. he gets excited and says he included slides to talk about it.

[rest under cut]

he tells us how he had just moved to a new city, and he had taken a university job in order to get insurance for his new family [which he didnt get but thats neither here or there]. he gets news that his job is going to be working with Scientific American Frontiers, hosted by the one and only Alan Alda. my prof was thrilled, he loves MASH, and while he specifically wouldnt be involved in the process [being a presenter, working with alan, etc] he was allowed to be around incase they needed help.

i dont know the specific episode, or if it can be found anywhere, but the topic was early man and tools, and how there were mammoth bones that specifically had cuts that could only be made with tools, not by teeth from an animal. they had finished filming for the day and just needed B-roll of some lions at the local zoo chewing some bones [part of the experiment], and alan got a call. he asked if he could head out now, because he needed to get back to his hotel now, and the call had been important. the producers said sure, go ahead, and alan asked if someone could give him a ride.

my professor, having the chance to actually spend time with someone he idolized, and being a stupid late 20s-something, volunteered immediately. stupid why? well, i said he'd just moved there. he didnt know where the hell anything was, and he didnt have GPS available to him, he was just really excited. so they get in the car and start driving.

as i said in my previous post, alan alda had about 20 minutes with this random guy, and found out pretty quickly that he was an archaeologist, and the amazing topic of conversation that he picked was the [then new] theory that we developed agriculture specifically to make booze, and that the rest of the stuff was more or less a biproduct. which is pretty on-brand honestly.

after a while, alan catches on to the fact that this guy clearly has no idea where the hell hes going, and that they've been driving in circles around the city for a while now. he [reportedly very politely] said that actually, this here was his stop, and thanked him for the ride. he then most likely called a taxi that actually knew where it was going, and got to his hotel.

turns out the call was about The Aviator! the call was important because he learned it was confirmed he in it and they needed him to get over there.

its not a glamourous story, but its the only story i got. my prof reported he was a funny guy, and despite slightly kidnapping the poor man for a while, he was the picture of kindness and personability. and clearly he likes telling the story and it left an impression, because he took time out of our already-short lecture to tell a class of 20-somethings that had no idea who Alan Alda was about it.

sorry this is so verbose i dont know how to be short lmao

[landinrris]

lando to red bull........say more.......

So this one is based on a prompt I came across on ao3 in a collection (that I now can no longer find based on the screenshot I took at the time). It was originally supposed to be my second big project of last summer when McLaren was in the trenches and had me feeling a bit hopeless... and then McLaren stepped up their game. But I don't think it's completely dead potentially. The original prompt was:

"Red Bull!Lando and Ferrari!Carlos; they aren't together yet and are still pining. Lando thinks Carlos hates him now that they're battling much more directly across teams, but Carlos is just pulling away because he's struggling to hide his feelings- Lando's just so radiant, he can't help it anymore."

This scene would've likely been in the front half of the fic itself even though it takes place in Silverstone. I was... in a place (worse than I am now) when I wrote it regarding Carlos' apparent treatment at Ferrari around the beginning summer races last year. (it's also all I have connected to this prompt right now, so sorry for the slight angst but not sorry for the 1.2k this scene is. I couldn't split it up.)

ask me about a wip!

---

They always end up here, laying in one of their rooms just because they can and unloading on each other in a way that’s never quite the same with someone else. Sometimes they get dinner beforehand, but they always end up here: Carlos on his back staring at the ceiling, Lando propped up on his elbow on his side watching on amused as Carlos collects his thoughts.

Carlos has gone silent now while Lando continues to watch him. He’s changed out of his Ferrari shirt, something old and soft in its place that he only ever wears at home and decidedly not in a motorhome in the English countryside. He reminds Lando of when he was at McLaren like this, and it makes his heart ache.

After the fifth consecutive minute spent in silence and Lando watching Carlos’ eyes flutter shut a few times, he starts to think maybe Carlos is just using him to get out of his motorhome. But Carlos speaks eventually, a heavy sigh on his lips. “They’ve switched the dynamic without telling me, I know they have.”

Lando is so startled by the noise, even though he’s been watching Carlos, that he startles himself. “Who did?”

“Ferrari. Vasseur. Charles went on the warpath a few weeks ago after he got penalized post-quali, and things haven’t been the same since.”

“Woah, hang on.” Lando pushes himself higher up on his elbow. Carlos has never mentioned a supposed hissy fit or what’s come out of it. “What happened?”

Carlos rolls onto his side as well, but he keeps his head on the pillow, effectively staring at Lando’s chest. “He impeded two people and got a six-place drop. Daniel and Esteban, I think. He was speaking French with Vasseur, so I don’t know what he was saying exactly, but it was loud.”

“Out of all the languages you know…”

Carlos rolls his eyes. “I know, I know. Since then though, we have not been allowed to fight. Charles has been more angry on the radio. I think the team is promising him preferential treatment to make him happy. To show him how he is their driver they want.”

“Didn’t you guys never have defined number 1 and number 2 drivers?”

“And that’s why I signed and renewed with them. You know how I feel about team orders.”

Lando knows all too well. He remembers the few times they happened at McLaren and the way Carlos looked like the human manifestation of a thundercloud getting out of the car following them. That reaction always made sense to Lando— they’re racing drivers, why are they there if they’re not allowed to race?

Carlos isn’t fuming now though, he’s lying in Lando’s bed in a motorhome in a field in Silverstone. He looks like he’s halfway deflated— the opposite of how Carlos Sainz should ever look.

“These last few races, they have kept me behind, and when I was not behind, they tried their best to get me there. Like they have told Charles he will finish in front of me if the team can help it.”

“What’s Charles said about it?” Lando’s almost afraid to hear the answer. He hasn’t spoken to Charles much lately, especially in the time now since he’s been at Red Bull, since he’s been a direct competitor. Since Charles is officially no longer lamenting to the press that Lando should just move over for him.

“About the change in treatment on track? I have not asked him about what he discussed with Vasseur. Plus I am not sure I care to hear how he thinks he deserves to be in front. I think there will be no contract negotiations then.”

Lando hangs his head and collapses into the pillow beneath him. “You haven’t even talked to him? Carlos Sainz Vasquez de Castro—”

“Ay,” Carlos kicks Lando’s leg as best he can from this angle, the blow landing at the top of his thighs. “He has not exactly come to me and said anything either. Nothing about being sorry for my race or strategy or anything. We used to commiserate about the bad days, and now every weekend is a bad weekend, and nothing.”

Carlos is still watching him when Lando turns his face to look. “So because he hasn’t said anything and you haven’t talked, he’s on board with getting preferential treatment?” Lando wonders if Carlos thinks it sounds as funny as it does coming out of his mouth.

Carlos’ face doesn’t falter though, a bad sign that he’s deeper in his head about this than Lando thought. “I’m not trying to discount your feelings, you muppet,” Lando says, a bit softer. The last thing he needs is Carlos leaving him like this. “Just trying to understand. You two seemed to really get along up until now.”

“It’s been gradually getting worse, and I don’t know what to do, Lando.”

Lando doesn’t know what to do either, if he’s being honest. He never had issues with Carlos at McLaren, with Daniel he was as non-confrontational as he could get, Oscar was much like Carlos, and now he knows his place with Max for the next six months as Max finishes his glory run. 

Carlos has found himself in the middle of one of the most undesirable situations, and Lando’s lost for words.

The man lying across from him is a shell of who he used to be, closed off, light dimmed. The team doesn’t want driver feedback for development. His teammate takes team handouts because they help him. How is Lando not meant to have a poor view of everyone associated with that team when this is what they’ve done to one of Lando’s best friends? One of the people who kept him sane during 2020 even when they were hundreds of kilometers apart.

“The only thing I know is to talk to Fred.”

Unsurprisingly, Carlos doesn’t seem to like that idea. He groans and shifts to lie on his back like before. “I’m going to lose my seat.”

The fear of that coming to fruition is ten times scarier than any thought of Carlos being relegated to second driver mid-season. Lando inches closer to Carlos and debates reaching out to touch him but doesn’t let himself. “Don’t you dare let yourself lose your seat or so help me God, Carlos.” There’s probably too much emotion behind his words, but Lando doesn’t care. Not right now and not about this.

For the first time since laying here, Carlos cracks a smile. It’s small, but Lando couldn’t miss it if he tried. “Why, you would miss me too much?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know the answer.” Because Carlos does, Lando knows he does. Even on their most competitive days, Lando doesn’t wish for anything to be different. Could never. Not when Carlos beats him to pole by one one-hundredth of a second or when he makes his car the size of the entire track. Lando has Max, but he also has Carlos in a way that’s so unlike his other friendships in the paddock. He has Carlos in a way that screams what if we were more, what if we were brave enough?

Carlos looks at him like maybe he’s thinking that in this moment, but nothing comes of it— never does.Lando tells himself he’s okay with that, he is, especially during times like these. Besides, Lando would rather have Carlos as a friend than not at all, so he watches Carlos back and tries to keep his heart rate from spiking when Carlos says, “I do,” barely audible.

[prinnamon]

How do you feel about the BMS Hev Suit? It's my personal favorite design out of every appearance but I can see why people would be upset with the creative liberties Crowbar Collective took with the design.

-LHLP

OHH this is such a good question to get in my askbox... one that immediately made me boot up Black Mesa so i could get screenshots to answer with. im smiling. im grinning

it's probably pretty easy to figure out that my favorite model is the one from the PS2 port, & i think i knew from previous posts on your blog that the BMS suit was your favorite. i love Black Mesa (2015) as a game but sadly, and im very sorry to say it, i do not love the HEV suit from that game :'] it has qualities that i like, but overall it misses the mark for me!

oh, that was an accidental pun. misses the Mark... like the Mark IV HEV suit. hehe

i'm going to put the rest of this post under a read more... i don't say anything suggestive under the cut unless you count like 1 very tame passing remark about the Mk V's hip plates. but this is quite a long and rambling post because i think about the HEV suit so much & want to be in one so bad & have taken a costume visual development class so i ended up having a ton to say ^_^ !!!

i think i was a tad biased against the BMS suit from the beginning when my good friend who started playing Black Mesa before i did pointed out that it looks less like a Mk IV and more like "a modified Mk V." i think it was right on the mark with that comment, and that's probably the source of most the things that irk me about the suit

pictured, in order: HL1 suit, PS2 suit, HL2 suit, BMS suit

i know the HL1 and PS2 renders being in 3/4 view while the HL2 and BMS suits are viewed straight on is unhelpful since this is meant to be a direct comparison, but i'm getting these images (excluding my own Black Mesa screenshot) from Combine Overwiki, which doesn't have a 3/4 view for the Mk V or a front view of either of the Mk IVs!

when you look at them all next to one another, it's pretty clear how the BMS model uses the Mk V as a base as opposed to upscaling one of the Mk IVs or creating one from scratch based on its prior iterations in games and promotional art. i have nothing against the Mk V, but the Mk IV is my true love. to me, the BMS suit is like the Mk V with a Mk IV coat of paint.

however! i do want to rattle off a couple things i feel the BMS suit got super correct. the accordion joints look exactly as they should. they're all the same color (it irks me a little in the HL1 model and promotional art when some of them look more copper/red while some of them are black), and they're present on both the elbows and torso where they belong (HL1 doesn't have them in either area and PS2 is just missing accordion joints on the elbows). i adore how and metallic they look in the PS2 model, but it raises some questions about what material they're made from and whether such a material would actually be both flexible and durable. in BMS they look like they're made of a tough synthetic fabric, and that makes perfect practical sense.

and, really, i have to stress that none of my complaints matter all that much, because Black Mesa positively nails what is objectively the most important part of the suit: the gloves. after the HEV suit's introductory scene and all the way up until Xen, you don't see any part of it but the hands and forearms since the game is in first person. and the hands and forearms are perfect. i don't think the player character's hands have ever looked better in a half-life game. incredibly nice to look at, i think.

it knocked those elements out of the part. sadly i have a bunch of nitpicks about other aspects of the design which don't appeal to me as much as the other iterations of the Mk IV!

most of the areas that were shiny and silver in the original Mk IV have been replaced with a black material that has a more matte texture. it could very well still represent metal, but it's always looked to me more like hard plastic or vinyl. i really like the appearance of the Mk IV's shiny metal parts, probably because i love the texture of metal in real life and it looks like it would feel so so so nice to touch. the change of material is a downgrade for me :[

additionally, some of the elements which felt really three-dimensional in the PS2 model look flatter in the BMS model. i liked all the visible grooves and seams of the PS2 model. by comparison, in Black Mesa, those details either look sanded down or are entirely absent. i think this is most evident on the lower half. the vents on the outer part of the thigh plating take up significantly less surface area, and they also look quite a bit flatter. the boots are missing all the detail they used to have, without even the orange plating on the top of the foot. it just... looks like it'd be less fun to run my hands along, because there's fewer unique textures, fewer seams you could trace with your fingers.

the control panel... it really is just slapped in the empty space left under the lambda logo in the Mk V. i love the way the buttons are set deeper into the chestplate in the PS2 model. In BMS, it's level with the rest of the chestplate and has raised buttons. seems like that'd make it easier for them to be pressed accidentally, which would pose some practical problems. and the black and silver part under the control panel... there just isn't any basis for that in any of the art or models of the Mk IV except possibly in the HL1 promo art of Gordon Freeman if you squint.

i find the level of detail in the greaves kinda disappointing, but to tell the truth, i don't think i like the lower legs of *any* of the suits, so now i'm not even truly complaining about a problem unique to the BMS suit. the ideal HEV suit greaves exist only in my mind. the two silver pieces in the front, though... i really think they need to be interpreted as some kind of closure, or else they're just purposeless greebles. on the Mk V, the function of these metal pieces is not evident based on their appearance, so that area ends up looking confusing and visually cluttered. this is carried over almost 1:1 to the BMS suit. every HEV design kinda breaks down when you think about how it would be put on and taken off, but looking at the front of the greaves on the Mk V and BMS suit *really* reminds me of the fact that this armor just does not make a lot of sense

lastly, i think this is probably a less a popular opinion, but from a design standpoint i do prefer what i've heard people refer to as the "metal diaper" situation in the HL1 and PS2 models over what the BMS suit has going on down there. essentially, they've stolen the Mk V's love handles and then put a sort of rounded flat piece over the groin area that has always felt out of place to me. it doesn't speak to any other part of the design; it's not echoed in any other area/element (which is the same gripe i have whenever a suit design's accordion joints aren't consistent).

i think that's most of if not all my issues with it! to be honest, i really don't think i *have* seen a perfect HEV suit model in any official or unofficial Half-Life game. i'm in love with the PS2 model, but i still think there's things wrong with the greaves on that one, and none of the suits has any visual indication of how a wearer gets in or out. a lot of my dislike for the BMS suit in particular is because i'm a massive fan of the Mk IV, so to see a suit that purports to be the Mk IV when it really has more in common with the Mk V is a disappointment. like i said, though, you really don't see much of the suit in-game, and the gloves are spot-on, so the model achieves the main goal it needs to achieve. i just can't get into it as much as i'm into the PS2's Mk IV.

i hope this seems fair and wasn't much longer of a reply than was warranted :'] i don't want it to seem like i'm trashing your favorite suit design, LHLP, because i can still see the things you like about it even if it doesn't resonate with me! anyway thanks so much for the ask because i really enjoyed getting to answer it. i hope you have a good one!!

[rusty-gloinks]

MURDER DRONES EPISODE 5 : Random details and favorite parts of this episode

Will be putting major spoilers under cuts if anyone has NOT seen the new episode, or has yet to see it. CW/TW: Blood, body horror, murdery stuff! SPOILERS!! AHHH!!! You get the point. I am not responsible for your actions :3

(This post is a mix of different things btw, Md related tho)

None of this will be in order, and I might need to make a PART TWO!!! Since the total is 45 images. :’)

FIRST UP. I would like to take the time to appreciate doll so have some LOVELY LITTLE images of her I took.

She looks so fucking awesome???? Like holy shit. She slayed!!!!!

not to be fruity .but. yea

SHE. also Isn’t that the campsite? Or just a different location with the same appearance.

OKAY. Next up. BABYGIRL . I SQUEALED AT LIKE EVERY SCENE OF THEM SHES SO FUCKING CUTE. MAN😭

BLEEEEEH (I’m going to make this my icon soonthat was the purpose of the screenshot. Also because I love them)

World is mine by Hatsune mi- cyn. World is mine by cyn. The famous vocaloid /j (HSES 😭😭😭😭)

Noticing how her balance is SOOO Much better while holding someone?. Also MOOD .just like me .real 💔

i lov e you🥺EEEK /p. Shes melting

MY SIB AND I WERE FUCKIJG DYING OVER THE PUPPY EYES.LMAO. I love their humor

J* , and they locked her in the basement. I am so SAD about this information

PROTECTIVE BIG BRO MODE…babys

Okay, listen, i know these 2 got shipped before the release but OUCH this makes things so much weirder!!! eugh:( (mainly saw em as friends.tttotallt not becsuse I project my friendship with my silly mutual onto them.no. /sarc)

anyways forget them being friends as my headcanon. THEYRE FUCKING SIBLINGS EVEN BETTER!!! (prjdedcts me and my elder sib onto th— *gets killed /j*

GAY RIGHTS(After the 2nd watch i realized she was making them kiss each other and I started laughing so hard my sides hurt)

Okay glitch QUIT SHOWING OFF. god damn !!!!! Literally appreciating this scenery so hard. 10000/10. :3

YKNOW HW I WANTED TO SEE TEARS IN THE NEW EPISODE!! LOOK. KIND OF CLOSE!!

LOOK HES SOBBING!!!! ALMOST. I GOT WHAT I WANTED OMFG!!!!! YAYYA!!!! (Love it when ppl cry /j

Lovely little lad. Reading abt dogs:) so cute…

subtle hints of favoritism..👀(she obvs likes J more I think,)

I love how immediately i could tell this was drawn by Liam. Canonically J in the show but like his style is so adorable and bouncy!!!! AND LIKE yummyys:3 eated

Cute detail in Uzi’s room. SHE LIKES BABY COWS GUYS. ITS TIME TO MAKE FANART OF UZI WITH BABY COWS. /J

Blushys:)!

For those wondering what this is it’s basically a ripoff of YouTube. The caption is titled "Top 100 Doors ever!!11!" and then the views at the bottom 😭😭. KHAN AND HIS FUCKING DOORS GOD DAMNIT

This part scared the shit out of me i was literally about to cry. I THIUGHTT SHE KILLED HIM

I had to slow this down and repeat the same clip OVER AND OVER Just to get it right, apparently the solver can swap roles? (The order is supposed to be yellow then purple since Uzi takes over as an admin instead of CYN.) very cool.

STP FIGHTING D:

BOTH VRY SCARY :(

Better glimpse of her backpack. Cute little skullbat zipper!! Also batteries. 👍

Apparently DEAD BATTERIES, aka the logo on Uzi’s sweater could be a possible band? Or reference to a band I don’t know? Like how they have my chemical robots (or something like that) as a ref to the band MCR (romance).

Sigh., N was that you.

Conlang? Fictional language? Glyphs? I’m assuming it’s VERY important (since liam lovessss foreshadowing, i will further elaborate). Hoping there will be ways to "simplify" it to english!

Yknow how in episode 2 Uzi takes braidens sentience or sumn like dat. Yea 💀

Alright I’ve hit the limit, gonna rb again with part 2!!!!! Soon. Maybe

[shit-talk-turner]

Prev. message board anon here. Managed to dig out some old screenshots. I've copied and pasted them here as don't want to come off anon. These are mainly related to Alex and were posted by the sound engineer (I think). They're just random messages, not in any sort of order. Enjoy!

matt kinda says hi (he's half asleep, poor guy) ive managed to survive another night with the guys, and sucessfully cooked dinner. as a reward they took me to the pub...nice one

theyre more like extended family. (al's gone home, jammie's still on't playstation with my bro and matts curled up asleep in my room, he looks like a cat) FINALLY I HAVE SOME PEACE AND QUIET!!!!!!!! yay!!! *me doing a little dance in joy*

if that happened, hed prolly try n find you a chair (he's kind like that) and then hed stand there and panic about what to do.

yeah. it was bad wasnt it. got to the stage where we were all making fun, leaving little post-its with "get a haircut" written on, and generally begging him to get a haircut. he did it eventually, and now he looks hot again and less like a scarecrow. thank god!

alex update: he is wondering what to have for lunch.

no. not yet. hes having a gingerbreadman while he thinks about it.

hes gone off to find timm to find out what time were having dinner (because our schedule for the days changed). he said if he knows when dinner is, then he can make a proper decision on lunch - whether he wants a snack or a whole meal......

alex update: him n jammie are sat on the edge of the stage looking at the choice of songs theyve been given for their performance on Radio 1's Live Lounge on monday. theyre gonna do brianstorm, and they have to pick one of the four songs theyve been given to cover. theyre choosing now...

alex update: he's scurrying about looking for a cd he lost. to be honest it could be anywhere. its not very tidy at the moment.... and i think someone mentioned watching anchorman later.....

alex update: reading a book (well hes trying to, but matt keeps distracting him....) and hes trying to think what the best sandwich in teh world is (thats matts question of the day)

alex update: he's sat in't corner writing summat and on the phone. im always curious when i see him writing, cuz i automatically assume that hes writing lyrics - and then i start thinking about what he's done today to think what the song might be about and then i really, really, really want to hear how it would go......all this, and then i ask him what he's writing and he shows me that he's either doing a crossword, or writing a cd shopping list, or summat dissapointing....

alex update: seemed quite happy when we last saw him. think he's gone to change. and i think he's coming out later. not sure if he'll be out with us though. he doesnt really know mal and cookies mates. they were in the year above us at school...

alex update: he's all packed and sat on the sofa reading the article about AM in this weeks NME. by his facial expressions, i can't work out what he thinks about it..... :S

alex update: ............ there are no words to describe him today.

he's sat out in the sun with everyone, and he's the most relaxed and normal that i've seen him in soooo very long i think he's so relieved that the album did well and people like it. he just looks relaxed and, dare i say it............. HAPPY. :) he deserves it.

alex update: he's most defniatly asleep. he had a busy night last night, and last time i saw him the poor thing was asleep on his feet...

alex update - the only one of the fab four that i can see at the mo. i asked him what he's doing so i could report on it, and he said "dont just say im lying on the floor waiting for the microwave. that sounds reet boring. say 'im reclining on the carpet in a relaxed fashion, clasping a piece of toast waiting for my beans to be done , and im donning my shades in a classy way' ....yeah, that makes it sound a bit better. or do i just sound like a knobhead? okay, cut that bit out. just say....just say im eating. again. im always eating when youre typing......hmmm"

and that was all i could get from the fascinating Mr Turner, before the microwave "pinged"....

alex update: he's chilling with miles and some friends, havign a drink and watching some bands.

after the set, we all got a little bi too drunk, met up with James Ford (producer, and from simian mobile disco), james + simon (klaxons), lily allen, lovefoxx, a kook and some others (there was about 20 of us) and we wanted to go out at night to Lost Vague-ness (the most random field at glastonbury) but they didnt want to be noticed and harrassed, so we hired these random costumes. alex was a dinosaur, james was a swan, there was a chicken, a moose, me and lily were mushrooms...... was truley hilarious.

[its not really "news" but we just had a fight. a proper standing in the rain, shouting ourselves hoarse, having to be separated argument. thats the only problem with me and al, were too similar. SO stubborn, and a tendency to take things too personally and get a bit irrational. the basics, i was trying to be a good friend and tell him summat, he wasnt listening, we both said things we prolly shouldn't have, and then were taken away to calm down. it'll all be fine by the morning, thats just how we roll. but for tonight, im not gonna pretend were okay.]

the internet was once such a wild and lawless place

[terraliensvent]

guys read the whole post im sorry its long just trust me

my dear devoted readers, today i come to you all with some really interesting info about the development of the planetary subspecies and tycho's handling with it

unfortunately however, this post will be lacking in screenshots, due to those who dmed me not wanting to face any sort of retaliation from the rest of the team (for this i do apologize, typically i try my best to include verifiable evidence for any claims i make on here but for this one you guys will have to take my word on it, but i promise that everything said here is truthful to the info ive received)

so first of all, i had some people from terra staff message me a bit ago to talk about it, mainly to deflect give more info and clear up misconceptions.

heres some of the main points:

lore about the general species is being worked on, theyre just trying to figure out the best way to present it (and apparently they thought making a whole secondary site for extra lore would make sense? they might not follow through with this though because someone explained how dumb that is and how you can just use LK)

coy and civ started the species with no lore so thats why its taking so long (this doesnt explain why the planetary subspecies took precedence over like. basic building blocks. but ok)

the planetary subtype wont have as many plot holes when released "in full" (why release it if it isnt finished??)

so to all of those points, i asked the hard hitting questions im sure you all are dying to know:

"i guess my main issue is why was the planet subspecies released in such a half baked state? why not work on finishing the general species lore first instead of doing it in such a confusing order? and as an add-on to that, why even release the planet subspecies when multiple people say its not even finished? this just seems like a huge mess of self-imposed problems there are other events and such that can be done while species lore and even the planetary species are worked on, why not expand upon one of the other pre-established subtypes first instead of rushing out a new subtype when nobody was even asking for it"

now put a pin in this because while i was waiting for a response, i actually had another member of staff dm me.

i asked them the same questions as above and they told me that tycho had supposedly been planning the planetary subtype before he even got ownership of the species. it seems that because of this, him and temul pretty much fast-tracked the development and release of it because they had personal involvement in it, all the while ignoring suggestions made by lore writers and other staff members. (however it should be noted that on further discussion with the other person who dmed me, temul was very receptive to suggestions, its just tycho who was the main blocker to ideas. apparently, according to one of the DMers, temul was even ok with having all the lore info on the main site, it was tycho who said he didnt like/want the idea after it was brought to the coder) there were even people part of the discussion that WANTED the subtype to be all celestial bodies (like, yknow, the logical idea that most members ALSO want), but tycho kicked that idea to the curb in favor of only having planets. apparently "literally everything involving lore has been pretty much pushed to the side because both them and tycho are just so excited about making this subtype real." in other words, tycho wanted to charge forward with their personal endeavors without paying attention to the work that NEEDED to be done in the species. additionally, they had this to say

"I don't blame them for being excited, I think it's a really cool subspecies, but they're both coming up with things on the spot as the event goes on and it's just getting convoluted and straying farther from the original idea"

so just going based off this, id say theres some pretty big trouble in paradise when it comes to the work being done behind the scenes

this was my response:

"sorry if this comes off as rude, but i think thats a pretty..chaotic? way of doing things at best it really doesnt read in the best way to know that tycho/temul/others will shove aside more important matters to focus on the thing they want and it comes off as selfish. it still boggles me why they thought the subtype release was more important than having general species lore, and even more so that if they supposedly cared about the subspecies so deeply why they would rush it out with little to no info seemingly even being finished."

to which they responded that the subtype isnt more important than the general species lore, but there really isnt anything they can do about it.

additionally as a side note, apparently there are lots of ~important~ people checking this blog (but its not allowed to be mentioned at least in the lore writer/OA server), to which i say hii! feel free to address the various controversies here that get swept under the rug like the bdsm demon shit weve been talking about!!

anyways

thats basically where our convo ended, i think it paints a very pretty picture of how things seem to be going in the background especially relating to this new subtype.

now remember how i said to put a pin in that other conversation? lets get back to that,

the response i got to my BURNING QUESTIONS was...an idk? the person dming me really had no explanation for why the subtype was rushed out, just that tycho said he had the idea for a while and wanted the rest of the team to expand upon it.

so after my other convo, i was intrigued to learn more about the previously mentioned trouble in paradise. i asked:

"hm, im gonna make an assumption here would you say that tycho and temul pushed out the subspecies without really..consulting? the rest of the [team]? it seems like there wasnt a ton of aggreeance on this and i actually had another person dm me saying that tycho and temul would frequently throw out suggestions from the [rest of the team] like would you say it would be a fair assessment to say that most of the [other members of staff] werent completely on board with the new subspecies being released at the current time and in its current state

this answer was intriguing as well, they said that tycho really didnt pose it to the team, more so just said "here you go, this is what youre doing now." they also confirmed my suspicion that a lot of people really dont agree with the subtype rules, in fact "everyone" wants to change the subtype to not require the planets be circular (which is a pretty dumb rule, even Earth isnt circular), but tycho says no so they just have to roll with it. they say they like tycho and think hes a cool guy, but "sometimes his decision making skills aren’t so hot"

later on in further discussion, they said this (section has been paraphrased by me to protect anonymity)

my guess is they released the subtype in its current state just to give members a taste of whats being worked on in the background, but in my opinion it should have been kept secret until it was completely finalized. both to avoid a community uprorar and confusion, and for the simple fact that its just sloppy and doesnt look good for the species. honestly, we dont even know what things will be changed on official release, the discussions are still ongoing. the team is very disjointed at the moment, there are attempts to make communication with the whole team, but miscommunication is very frequent. there was actually an issue yesterday relating to the new subtype (but i cant go very in depth with that) there are lots of things i dont agree with, but i dont feel like im able to speak up. like for example, the second site idea didnt seem that bad at first, but the more i thought about it the less it made sense. despite that, everyone else seemed fine with it so my opinion really didnt matter anyway.

in addition, they also said that they're losing passion for the species, since every day, every new controversy, and every instance of sweeping things under the rug seems to be bringing everything closer to crumbling down.

what can we gather from all this? well, like previously stated, there seems to be trouble in paradise. this seems like a coy 2.0 situation where everyone can see the clear solution, but the one guy in charge doesnt like it so everyone just has to abide buy his rule. in addition, it seems like terra staff is just a shitty workplace in general, where team members feel they wont have their voices heard, or that their suggestions will immediately be kicked back. i think this is all a VERY interesting glimpse into what things are like behind the scenes, and im curious what others think about it all.

[blaiddfailcam]

Fuck it, below are my favorite gifs I've made of Bloodborne (so far) in no particular order.

I didn't post all of these in sets, at least not yet, mainly because I needed to balance the arrangements as far as color and even camera motion. Too many sweeping shots in a set is kind of obnoxious, as much as I love making them.

Bloodborne is pretty tricky for making gifs, requiring a good deal of patience and ingenuity just to get the hunter out of the shot. But once I figured out a few methods, things took an interesting turn!

[CW for blood—obviously—gore, and body horror]

Yahar'gul Chapel

I know I wanted a shot of the Amygdala statue in Yahar'gul, but it felt too easy to record it head-on, and besides, why not just post a screenshot then? Then I saw a flickering candelabra, and the celestial larva statue, and it seemed like a dramatic angle. I liked the shift from gold to blue—from knowledge into mystery.

Hunter's Nightmare

I did get to use this one in a set, and although the spray of bullets at bottom are a little irksome, I thought the way the camera swept past that urn in the illusion of a crane shot was cool. Really, my hunter is just crouching behind a fence.

Cathedral Ward

FromSoft is supremely gifted at arranging their mapspaces so that large setpieces like the Astral Clocktower are naturally framed by environmental pockets. Somewhat instinctively, I knew I had to capture this descending shot in time with that large huntsman emerging from the alley mist. The fact that it looks as if the viewer is peeking from behind the coffin was an accident, but sells the feeling of dread.

Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower

This one worked out almost too perfectly. I thought I'd just get a basic shot of her approaching, but then she did that and I gasped, lol. Her set was surprisingly quick to put together.

Old Yharnam

I was still figuring out some camera tricks by the time I hit Old Yharnam, and this was my first attempt at moving the hunter with the monocular activated while tilting the camera independantly. I had to crop out the hunter, so it's woefully grainy, but I think it sells the effect well enough.

Ebrietas, Daughter of the Cosmos

This was promptly after I threw a pebble at her.

Quite thrilling.

Iosefka's Clinic

The very first gif I made of Bloodborne! I wanted to capture that "oh fuck" moment of the scourge beast feeding on those dead mobs, and the only method I knew would work (not having the monocular yet) was to sit by a wall. As it happens, Bloodborne doesn't apply translucency to foreground objects, so I was surprised to be able to get this peek from behind a shelf of medical equipment, simple though it is. That would never work in Elden Ring!

Vicar Amelia

I may reattempt her set in the future, as I learned a few tricks for "shooting" after defeating her, and I should've upped the brightness. Still, this angle of her seemingly pulling the hunter out of Laurence's beastly skull before squashing them was pretty dramatic—and a total accident.

Moon Presence

Moon Presence may not be a very difficult fight, but let me tell ya, trying to capture it had me gnashing my teeth. It moves so sporadically, it's hard to find a good backdrop, and it never seems to want to do much more than flop around. Worse still is that to get all of its cooler moves, you need to dish some hefty damage to break its limbs, but without killing it prematurely. In the end, I was pretty happy with even this straightforward tilt shot with the moon appearing to descend behind the crawling chaos.

○ ○ ○

I still have plenty of footage to sift through and memorialize as gifs, but I think I need a little break to, you know, enjoy the game, lol. There's plenty I still want to capture, and I figure there's a bit of a vacuum for Bloodborne gifs, owing to the lack of a PC release and all. Not that it can't be finegled, but it doesn't mean it's impossible on console, either.

...Hopefully this doesn't come off as pretentious. I just have a lot of fun making these for some reason, ameteurish as they may be.

[theia-eos]

Tellius Height Chart, or People in Tellius are How Tall?!

So, I was looking through the dead wasteland that is Twitter a little while ago, scrolling through the comments on a screenshot of Fire Emblem Engage showing Ike's Emblem fighting alongside...one of the new characters.

For my fellow beers-per-bald-eagle citizens, that's 76.77 inches, or 6'4.8" (rounding to 6'5").

And ho boy, if that is a fact, then that has some ramifications for the size of the people on Tellius because they're all close in height to him, if not massively larger than him. I know we all joke about Ike being super big in Radiant Dawn, but he seems kind of average compared to the others.

Spoilers and length below the cut.

(Screenshots courtesy of poledoo on YouTube...this post is honestly courtesy of poledoo and Odyssey RPG and every other Tellius YouTuber so I could find every obscure cutscene and base conversation to get the measurements and references I needed, along with Kantopia for having all the concept art imaged so beautifully)

So, obviously, I had to look for this Good Smile Ike Figure.

The website lists this figure as 1/7th scale, and 420 mm in height. This means that scaled up to 1:1, the total height is 2,940 mm or 294 cm. That means I just have to figure out how tall the Ike figure is in comparison to its total height, and I can double check the math. If it maths correctly, we should be around the same number.

After using the power of photoshop to figure out his height based on his pose, I came up with a size of ≈279mm, or ≈195 cm at scale, but then I realized my height calculation included the heels of his boots, so when I cut that out, I arrived at ≈273.4mm, or ≈191cm at 1:1 scale (6'3") without shoes.

Ike is big confirmed. Incidentally, I took the liberty of measuring Ragnell, and it was 185cm at 1:1 scale (6'1"). GOOD LORD THAT BLADE IS FUCKING HUGE. SOMEONE ELSE DO THE MATH ON HOW MUCH IT WEIGHS

So, then, I began the process of figuring out how tall every major character is. Fortunately, the devs had made a height scale for Path of Radiance when making the character models and decided to share some of that with us. The translated height chart was provided by XKAN and microwaveit on Kantopia

So that cut out a lot of the larger characters for me, but this chart was not an exact science. There are two places where Ike is compared to Reyson and Leanne, and like, what am I supposed to do? Their heads seem to be at about the same level, but their bodies are different sizes and the feet aren't all level.

I worked off the chart, primarily for the characters shown in it, compared to Ike's concept art, and just scaled their feet down to be level with Ike's feet. I also used concept art primarily because they're in more neutral standing poses, the height would be easier to work off of.

I then compared the characters to Ike's portrait in cutscenes in Path of Radiance. In order to arrive at their true height, I would make sure they were all scaled together with whatever footwear they're wearing (soles, heels, highheels, etc.) and then moved them down on the scale to remove the footwear from their total height.

I then used Titania as a cross game bookmark for Ike's scale in Radiant Dawn (fun fact, with shoes, they are the same height, just about), and brought in all the Radiant Dawn specific characters. I also scaled characters that were young enough in Path of Radiance to have grown in Radiant Dawn to Radiant Dawn Ike's portrait.

For fun, for characters in both games that weren't going through height growths in the intervening three years, I would compare them to Path of Radiance Ike and Radiant Dawn Ike to see how consistent the heights were. Some were very consistent, others...not so much.

I mean, look at Reyson! In Radiant Dawn, he's only up to about Ike's headband, but in Path of Radiance, he had a good amount of height over Ike. Scaling Reyson to both instances...shows a vastly different height.

And then we have characters like Zelgius, who are exceptionally consistent...aside from when they're the Black Knight.

As you can see, Zelgius wears stilts while in the Black Knight suit, that's why it's not obvious to anyone aside from Ranulf. That one edited image of Radiant Dawn Ike surrounded by Zelgius in Black Knight Armor, Zelgius, and Black Knight amuses me highly.

For characters like Reyson, I did the best I could with what I had.

Some characters were harder to scale. According to the height chart, Caineghis and Tibarn are much taller than the scale of their portraits on cutscenes. For example, in the art book, Ike should be up to Tibarn's shoulders, but in the game, he's up to Tibarn's eyes.

I figured that the super big characters had to be scaled down/bending over to fit within the frame, so for Gareth and Dheginsea, I scaled their body art to their portraits, and they did come out drastically taller than where Ike's portrait comes up to them. I double checked Dheginsea against Kurthnaga in The Gathering cutscene from Path of Radiance, since they were standing straight at the same height on a flat surface, and Dheginsea came out about the same size as my body art experiment.

Look at all smol my son is compared to Dheginsea Kurthnaga looks so tiny at this truer scale, much smaller than the portraits make him look in comparison to the laguz royals. For Rajaion, I decided the portrait method was good enough, and compared his portrait to Ena's, and went from there.

For Elena, I compared the scale of her only model seen in game against Greil, since they're both lying flat on the ground here, and scaled her accordingly.

So, with my double checking and triple checking completed (although maybe I needed to quadruple check, I invite you to quadruple check me), I got all the characters to scale, and then measured how tall they are without footwear boosters.

For Sanaki in Path of Radiance, I suspected that as some characters appear smaller in cutscenes, she appeared larger than she actually was. In order to get her height, there is only one time we see her model for anything, and that's at the end of Daybreaks when she goes to apologize to the herons.

I used Soren and Ike's feet to find the angle the character models were standing on and compared her to Elincia to arrive at Sanaki's height in Path of Radiance.

Without further adieu, here is the final chart I came up with. Anyone wanting straight measurements can look below the chart, where characters are listed in alphabetical order. Characters without full body art are included in the list, but were not included in the imaged height chart. I'm fairly certain that most of the characters are within an inch (2.54cm) of the height I calculated (maybe 2 or three inches for Dheginsea, Gareth, and Rajaion). Anyone without fully body art is probably near 3 inches of the final height, because of factors I cannot see, and therefore, cannot control for.

If you find anything that doesn't sound right to you, leave a comment, reblog, or ask, and I'll take another look when I have the time. By the time I had moved onto measuring the heights of characters in row two I was cackling in disbelief at how tall these people are. It's hilarious and mind-boggling.

Edit to make this much clearer: These are the numbers I came up with based on the methods that I provided above. Please do not share these numbers as canon, and if you share this image, or any part of it, on another site please make it clear in your post that the "height was calculated by a fan." Thank you, I deeply appreciate your assistance in not spreading misinformation.

(I've edited the image to add a soft watermark so crops of this shared on the internet are less likely to be misinterpreted as canon information)

Aimee, 184.6 cm, 6' 0.7"

Almedha, 180.7 cm, 5' 11.1"

Amy, 107.4 cm, 3' 6.3"

Aran, 188.6 cm, 6' 2.3"

Ashera, 202.1 cm, 6' 7.6"

Ashnard, 202.9 cm, 6' 7.9"

Ashunera, 183.8 cm, 6' 0.4"

Astrid, 176.7 cm, 5' 9.6"

Bastian, 195 cm, 6' 4.8"

Black Knight, 203.7 cm, 6' 8.2"

Boyd age 18, 180.7 cm, 5' 11.1"

Boyd age 21, 185 cm, 6' 0.8"

Brom, 186 cm, 6' 1.2"

Caineghis, 202.9 cm, 6' 7.9"

Calill, 174.3 cm, 5' 8.6"

Daniel, 193.4 cm, 6' 4.1"

Danved, 195 cm, 6' 4.8"

Dheginsea, 222.8 cm, 7' 3.7"

Edward, 173.5 cm, 5' 8.3"

Elena, 178.3 cm, 5' 10.2"

Elincia, 175.1 cm, 5' 8.9"

Ena, 173.1 cm, 5' 8.1"

Fiona, 176.7 cm, 5' 9.6"

Gareth, 220.4 cm, 7' 2.8"

Gatrie, 190.2 cm, 6' 2.9"

Geoffrey, 190.2 cm, 6' 2.9"

Giffca, 201.3 cm, 6' 7.3"

Greil, 201.3 cm, 6' 7.3"

Haar, 193.4 cm, 6' 4.1"

Heather, 183.8 cm, 6' 0.4"

Hetzel, 179.9 cm, 5' 10.8"

Ike age 17, 183.8 cm, 6' 0.4"

Ike age 20, 191 cm, 6' 3.2"

Ilyana age 16, 170.3 cm, 5' 7"

Ilyana age 19, 174.7 cm, 5' 8.8"

Izuka, 171.9 cm, 5' 7.7"

Janaff, 178.7 cm, 5' 10.4"

Jarod, 192.6 cm, 6' 3.8"

Jill, 182.2 cm, 5' 11.7"

Jorge, 193.4 cm, 6' 4.1"

Kieran, 187 cm, 6' 1.6"

Kurthnaga, 180.3 cm, 5' 11"

Kyza, 190.8 cm, 6' 3.1"

Largo, 192.6 cm, 6' 3.8"

Laura, 172.7 cm, 5' 8"

Leanne, 177.5 cm, 5' 9.9"

Lehran, 193.6 cm, 6' 4.2"

Lekain, 186.2 cm, 6' 1.3"

Leonardo, 185.4 cm, 6' 1"

Lethe, 175.1 cm, 5' 8.9"

Levail, 187 cm, 6' 1.6"

Lotz, 194.2 cm, 6' 4.5"

Lucia, 181.5 cm, 5' 11.5"

Ludveck, 196.6 cm, 6' 5.4"

Lyre, 171.9 cm, 5' 7.7"

Makalov, 182.2 cm, 5' 11.7"

Marcia, 175.9 cm, 5' 9.3"

Meg, 175.1 cm, 5' 8.9"

Mia age 17, 175.9 cm, 5' 9.3"

Mia age 20, 181.8 cm, 5' 11.6"

Micaiah, 171.1 cm, 5' 7.4"

Mist age 15, 170.3 cm, 5' 7"

Mist age 18, 175.5 cm, 5' 9.1"

Mordecai, 189.4 cm, 6' 2.6"

Muarim, 195.8 cm, 6' 5.1"

Muston, 198.2 cm, 6' 6"

Naesala, 202.1 cm, 6' 7.6"

Nailah, 189 cm, 6' 2.4"

Nasir, 183.8 cm, 6' 0.4"

Nealuchi, 172.3 cm, 5' 7.8"

Nephenee, 178.3 cm, 5' 10.2"

Nolan, 199 cm, 6' 6.3"

Numida, 186.2 cm, 6' 1.3"

Oliver, 179.1 cm, 5' 10.5"

Oscar, 193.4 cm, 6' 4.1"

Pelleas, 186.2 cm, 6' 1.3"

Petrine, 187 cm, 6' 1.6"

Rafiel, 187.8 cm, 6' 1.9"

Rajaion, 210.1 cm, 6' 10.7"

Ranulf, 183 cm, 6' 0"

Renning, 191 cm, 6' 3.2"

Reyson, 188.6 cm, 6' 2.3"

Rhys, 187 cm, 6' 1.6"

Rolf age 12, 161.6 cm, 5' 3.6"

Rolf age 15, 176.7 cm, 5' 9.6"

Sanaki age 10, 145.6 cm, 4' 9.3"

Sanaki age 13, 165.5 cm, 5' 5.2"

Shinon, 192.6 cm, 6' 3.8"

Sigrun, 182.6 cm, 5' 11.9"

Skrimir, 200.1 cm, 6' 6.8"

Soren age 19, 173.5 cm, 5' 8.3"

Soren age 22, 179.9 cm, 5' 10.8"

Sothe age 14, 163.9 cm, 5' 4.5"

Sothe age 17, 184.6 cm, 6' 0.7"

Stefan, 191.2 cm, 6' 3.3"

Tanith, 185.7 cm, 6' 1.1"

Tauroneo, 193.4 cm, 6' 4.1"

Tibarn, 212.5 cm, 6' 11.7"

Titania, 187.8 cm, 6' 1.9"

Tormod age 13, 166.3 cm, 5' 5.5"

Tormod age 16, 174.3 cm, 5' 8.6"

Ulki, 183.4 cm, 6' 0.2"

Valtome, 188.6 cm, 6' 2.3"

Vika, 183 cm, 6' 0"

Volke, 191.8 cm, 6' 3.5"

Volug, 191 cm, 6' 3.2"

Yune, 135.3 cm, 4' 5.3"

Zelgius, 191.8 cm, 6' 3.5"

Zihark, 188.6 cm, 6' 2.3"

[sophieinwonderland]

When you’ve reached the point in syscourse where you’re sending screenshots of yourself to a cringe blog in order to be able to respond to it, that. That doesn’t seem at all healthy.

I really hope you’re taking care of yourself.

Thanks for the concern but I'm actually good.

I want to be totally upfront about the tactics I'm using. Someone once affectionately described viewing my blog as the morning news. But it's also true in a more negative way.

There's a great video by CGP Grey discussing how loud arguments will attract more bystanders and cause both sides to grow.

This is a great illustration of a big part of why I tend to argue with anti-endos so much.

If you watched what happened with "The Future is Plural," anti-endos took a slogan that only a handful of people were actually using, manufactured a controversy around it with loud and ridiculous accusations of this phrase being a call to traumatize children, then pro-endos pushed back in large swathes and the phrase became a rallying cry for our community. The more anti-endos attacked it, the stronger our resolve became to defend it.

It was amazing and we couldn't have gotten to the point where so many pro-endos adopted it if not for the anti-endos creating this opposition.

Other people view anti-endos as enemies. And I do too to an extent. They hurt so many of us and cause so much harm to innocent people.

But in the grand scheme of things, I also see them as the butterflies to our garden of flowers.

If I'm sending anti-endos images of upsetting posts from my blog to intentionally make anti-endos angry at me personally, it's because I think making them angry is the best way to propagate and spread my ideology.

(And more selfishly, advertise my own blog. But like, I wouldn't send sysmeds images of anyone else's blog out of fear of another pro-endo getting harassment they might not be able to handle. But if I'm sent harassment personally... that's just more pollination.)

Our actual biggest struggle as plurals right now is awareness. The reason so many plural children grow up without knowing what's happening to them is because the general population doesn't know much about plurality. They don't even know the sides to this argument.

Anti-endos are an enemy in a sense... but I also view them as a tool. A means to an end. Our toxic relationship with its constant fighting is one that, when utilized properly, can be of symbiosis that I think will result in greater awareness of plurality and will ultimately benefit all plurals in the future.

But to achieve this, I need them mad. I need them angry at me.

I need them to see my posts bragging about teaching people to dissociate and hallucinate because when they do, it turns me into a threat in their eyes. They view me, personally, as someone who is dangerous. And then they can't ignore me, because if they believe I'm hurting people and they do nothing, they'll be allowing me to hurt people.

When a pro-endo sees me talking about teaching people to dissociate and hallucinate, they're familiar with our practices and know these things are harmless. It has no affect on them.

When an anti-endos does, they see these scary words and see dangerous evil cult indoctrination inducing mental illness in innocent people and I'm the monster that they need to destroy.

And finally, I wouldn't say that I sent that ask because I wanted to respond to it. I sent the ask because I wanted that post I made to be visible in anti-endo tags by a blog the hardcore anti-endos follow and will see. I responded to that post to help it get more notes and appear higher up in the anti-endo tags.

And I'll confess... maybe I find it funny too. I enjoy seeing their absurdly over-the-top reactions to scary descriptions of basic tulpamancy practices. It's comic relief for me.

[evenmoreofadisaster]

Splinter question anon here! I loved the answer thank you so much for the time you guys took!

Other question I’ve had since the emd bday post

Would one have a very difficult time with pets (or more likely a stray that decided he was there person and adopted him) because of how Draxum raised him? Like would he try very hard not to be attached to a living thing like that because he feared he’d be forced to hurting it later? Would it break his heart or make him feel like a monster to have some stray kitty or dog like love and embrace him when he knows he was forced to hurt animals by Draxum before? Idk if you feel like talking about it I’m very interested in like learning more about how his training would affect things like that in the future

“We accept the love we think we deserve” is a quote that comes to mind for one like he’s so confident and has such an ego but I think if he had to really acknowledge what he’s done to be who he is it might be harder for him to accept love from anything that offers it to him unconditionally where that be a stray cat/dog or Hamatos or maybe two (although their relationship is such a land mind right now I don’t think unconditional love is the right word like they do love each other but there’s so much damage and hurt there that I’d phrase it more as resilient love like it’s surviving despite the hardships but it also had to adapt and harden in order to survive) I think usagi would be more of an exception only because one can accept the love because he knows usagi is like him they’ve both gone through shit and come out what they are whether that’s good or bad?

Idk I’m rambling sorry! I’d love to hear you guys thoughts and thanks again for answering the other ask I love hearing your insights they help me understand the awesome characters you guys made in this au!

Of course! No problem. We love answering these questions.

Ooh, this is interesting. I haven’t thought about that. He’d probably see strays (or any kind of small animal) as pests and if approached by one, he would brush it off or maybe scare it away. He wouldn’t give himself time to get attached or think about getting attached.

I’ve seen like screenshots from the show of cats in the lair and I’m thinking— post season 1— if one of the cats rested in his lap, he would be less hostile but really uncomfortable.

That’s such a great quote and I agree, it fits One pretty well. It is difficult for him to come to terms with what he did, but the Hamatos help him through that (whether or not he wants it)

It is hard for One to accept being loved after all he’s been through and everything he’s done, but yea the difference with Usagi is that they’re kind of on the same pedestal. One knows that Usagi can do just as much damage as him and that Usagi would be a lot harder to knock down. Also, he doesn’t know that he and Usagi have feelings for each other, he just knows that they both care for and look out for each other.

Whereas, with Two, One has hurt him many times, and the Hamatos’ affection is very clear to him so all he wants to do is push them away.

Teaa: yeah and with Two the mine field is pretty accurate. Usagi and One will walk the mine field together, but Two and One will be racing across it, inevitably pushing each other into it wether its on purpose or by accident

[gaycrouton]

When is the “Real” Anniversary of Mulder and Scully’s Partnership?

In The X-Files, March 6th marks the anniversary of when Dana Scully became partners with Fox Mulder. 

While you can anticipate many commemorative tweets, you might notice a discrepancy when it comes to the year. Is it the 30th or 31st anniversary?

Find out in the following exploration 🔎

[As always, because of Tumblr’s photo limit on posts, this thread looks a lot better on Twitter]

The Pilot episode of "The X-Files" aired on September 10th, 1993 on the FOX Network, but it took a long time to get there.

Chris Carter first conceptualized the idea for the show in March 1992, and he began working on the first draft in September 1992 (Lowry, 16). The FOX Network ordered a script by November 1992 (Lowry, 13). The first draft of the script was submitted in December of that year. Further revisions – from which the shooting script was compiled – were made in March of 1993.

Principal photography took place over fourteen days in March 1993 (Lovece, 47). Post-production work on the episode was finished by May 1993, with the final version of the episode being assembled only three hours before its preview screening for FOX executives (Edwards, 37). With that, "The X-Files" was slated to join the 1993-1994 FOX Network lineup.

While many television shows are flexible with timelines, "The X-Files" tends to generally reflect real-world time. So with most production occurring in 1993, what's the problem?

According to research done by avid fans at Eat the Corn, Chris Carter set the "Pilot" in March 1992 to honor when he first conceived of the idea. A small ode to the birth of "The X-Files."

While a small detail, the 1992 v. 1993 debate has plagued fans every March for decades.

While the timestamps in the "Pilot" indicate 1992, there's a plethora of in-show, direct references to support that it's canon Mulder and Scully started working together in 1993.

In honor of Mulder and Scully, let me present you with the facts so you can make an informed decision

To begin, here is a screenshot from the "Pilot" that indicates 1992. Mulder and Scully met the day before they begin investigating the case, so they were partnered together and first introduced on March 6th.

While "Deep Throat" (1x02) doesn't reference a date, a timestamp in "Squeeze" (1x03) indicates 1993. You can also see/hear references to 1993 in "The Jersey Devil" (1x05), Shadows (1x06), "Ghost in the Machine" (1x07), "Ice" (1x08), "Eve" (1x11), and "Lazarus" (1x15).

This is a trend "The X-Files" typically follows. The first half of the series is generally set in the fall while the latter half is set in the spring, mirroring the traditional television schedule (barring finale/premiere two-parters and post-production changes in episode order).

Based on "The X-Files"’s tendency to reflect the year a given episode is airing, it can be presumed the "Pilot" is included in that (barring Carter's self-referential Easter egg).

While I recognize the hypocrisy of saying "don't believe this timestamp" by providing evidence of other timestamps, I hope to demonstrate that if you believe it's 1992 solely because it was shown in canon, there is an overwhelming amount of similar evidence to prove the contrary.

Additionally, if they met in 1992, that means there is a whole year of their partnership we never see.

Many of the lines in season one were written to highlight the newness of their relationship and would sound awkward coming from partners of over a year.

In seasons one and two, there aren't many allusions to the "Pilot" or Scully being assigned to The X-Files. However, as I'll demonstrate below, there are several references made in every season for the rest of the show's run that solidify 1993 as the correct date.

Keep in mind that "The X-Files" generally uses the year of the episode's airing as the in-show date, so while many of my examples will only have a Month/Day reference, we can assume from the airing year.

Syzygy (3x13)

Written By: Chris Carter

Airing Date: January 26th, 1996

SCULLY: Look, we’ve been working together for, what, two years now? We have different opinions, but I didn’t expect you to ditch me.

Evidence: Presuming the three-year mark is March 1996, this indicates 1993

Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man

Written By: Glen Morgan

Airing Date: November 17th, 1996

While watching CSM's history, we see the moments leading up to his appearance in the "Pilot" wherein the 1992 appears on screen once more.

Evidence: 1992 Timestamp

This moment of Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man is the piece of evidence (often the only) that pro-1992 fans use to justify the 1992 date. 

It could be said that, while writing his connections to the "Pilot", Glen Morgan rewatched the episode and used 1992 to keep continuity.

Tunguska (4x08) and Terma (4x09) - Same Dialogue

Written By: Frank Spotnitz and Chris Carter

Airing Date: November 24th and December 1st, 1996

SCULLY: I left behind a career in medicine to become an FBI agent four years ago because I believed in this country.

Evidence: 1992

Tempus Fugit (4x17)

Written By: Frank Spotnitz and Chris Carter

Airing Date: March 16th, 1997

SCULLY: Mulder... you have never remembered my birthday in the four years I've known you.

MULDER: [...] It's every four years, it's like dog years that way.

Evidence: 1993

It is valid to point out that this one could be discounted being that we know Scully's birthday is in February and they met in March -- meaning that they would've only been together for three of her birthdays. 

However, her line is very explicitly "four years I've known you"

Elegy (4x22)

Written by: John Shiban

Aired: May 4th, 1997

MULDER: What is that look, Scully?

SCULLY: I would have thought that after three years you'd know exactly what that look was

MULDER: What, you don't believe in ghosts?

Evidence: ... 1994 (we can discount that one haha)

Gesthemane (4x24)

Written By: Chris Carter

Aired: May 18th, 1997

SCULLY: Four years ago, Section Chief Blevins assigned me to a project you all know as the X Files [...] I come here today, four years later...

Evidence: 1993

Redux I

Written By: Chris Carter

Aired: November 2nd, 1997

This episode has multiple

SCULLY: That would mean that for four years we've been nothing more than pawns in a game. --- MULDER'S VO: In four years, I have shared my partner's passionate search for the truth.

-----

BLEVINS: Agent Scully. Please have a seat. Some time has past since you were first in this office.

SCULLY: Yes, sir. Four years.

Evidence: 1993

Redux II

Written by: Chris Carter

Aired: November 9th, 1997

This episode also has multiple

SCULLY: He's been in a position to know everything from the beginning, everything that we've done over the past four years.

----

MULDER: Four years ago, while working on an assignment outside the FBI mainstream, I was paired with Special Agent Dana Scully, who I believed was sent to spy on me.

Evidence: 1993

Patient X (5x13)

Written by: Chris Carter

Aired: March 2nd, 1998

Multiple references

WERBER: It's been some time.

MULDER: Almost five years.

-------

MULDER: I've had my head up my rear end for the last five years.

Evidence: 1993

The Red and The Black (5x14)

Written by: Chris Carter, Frank Spotnitz

Aired: March 8th, 1998

Another episode with multiple.

SCULLY: Mulder, when I met you five years ago, you told me that your sister had been abducted ... by aliens.

----

SKINNER: Over the past five years I've doubted you, only to be persuaded by the power of your belief in extraterrestrial phenomena.

Evidence: 1993

Folie à Deux (5x19)

Written by: Vince Gilligan

Aired: May 10th, 1998

MULDER: Five years together, Scully. You must have seen this coming.

Evidence: 1993

The End (5x20)

Written by: Chris Carter

Aired: May 17th, 1998

Multiple references

MULDER: That’s all I do. That’s all I’ve been doing for the last five years.

-----

SCULLY: This would be quantifiable scientific proof of everything Agent Mulder and I have investigated over the past five years.

Evidence: 1993

Fight the Future (1998)

Written by: Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz

Released: June 19th, 1998

MULDER: Five years together, Scully. How many times I been wrong?

Evidence: 1993

Tithonous (6x10)

Written by: Vince Gilligan

Aired: January 24th, 1999

We can see Scully’s career timeline on screen, but I, personally, cannot discern the date. Maybe it says 1992, maybe it says 1993, maybe it gives me cataracts.

Evidence: ???

Field Trip (6x21)

Written by: Frank Spotnitz

Teleplay by: Vince Gilligan and Chris Carter

Aired: May 9th, 1999

MULDER: Scully, in six years, how... how often have I been wrong?

Evidence: 1993

Hollywood A.D. (7x19)

Written by: David Duchovny

Aired: April 30th, 2000

GARRY SHANDLING AS MULDER: You know, seven long years I've been waiting for just the right moment, Scully.

Evidence: 1993

Fight Club (7x20)

Written by: Chris Carter

Aired: May 7th, 2000

MULDER: No, the interesting thing about these agents is they had worked together for seven years previously without any incident.

SCULLY: Seven years?

MULDER: Yeah, but they are not ... romantically involved if that's what you're thinking.

Evidence: 1993

A tounge-in-cheek reference to Mulder and Scully’s relationship taking a sexual turn a few episodes prior.

Je Souhaite (7x21)

Written by: Vince Gilligan

Aired: May 14th, 2000

SCULLY: You know, Mulder, in the seven years that we've been working together I have seen some amazing things, but this?

Evidence: 1993

Requiem (7x22)

Written by: Chris Carter

Aired: May 21st, 2000

Multiple direct references to the pilot

MALE VOICE: (on phone) My name is Billy Miles. I don't know if you remember me.

MULDER: Oregon, seven years ago.

-----

SCULLY: I watched Agent Mulder paint that there seven years ago.

------

MULDER: Seven years ago you came to Agent Scully and I for help.

Evidence: 1993

Per Manum (8x13)

Written by: Frank Spotnitz and Chris Carter

Aired: February 18th, 2001

DUFFY HASKELL: I contacted you about my wife About eight years ago because she was an alien abductee.

SCULLY: That was before my time here.

This episode is one of those “back from break” episodes that takes place in Fall of the previous year, so the “present day” parts of this episode occurs in 2000 -- meaning the eight year anniversary hasn’t happened yet. It more than implies 1992 would be “before her time.”

Evidence: 1993

DeadAlive (8x15)

Written by: Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz

Aired: April 1st, 2001

DOGGETT: What?

SCULLY: I heard the same speech come out of my mouth seven years ago.

Evidence: Would you look at that, two accidental 1994 references.

Three Words (8x16)

Written by: Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz

Aired: April 8th, 2001

Multiple references

KERSH: From this report, you and Agent Scully have had more arrests on percentage than she and Mulder over seven years.

-----

MULDER: Truth is, this is a bullet that was fired about eight years ago.

Evidence:  Mulder went missing in 2000, so for Kersh’s statement to be correct, they had to have worked together from 1993-2000. 1993 is further backed up by Mulder’s line.

Dæmonicus (9x03)

Written by: Frank Spotnitz

Aired: December 2nd, 2001

SCULLY: Dr. Dana Scully. I have just been assigned to the Academy as a forensic investigator. For the past eight years I was part of a unit known as the X-Files.

Evidence: 1993

Sunshine Days (9x18)

Written by: Vince Gilligan

Aired: May 12th, 2002

SCULLY: It very well could. I mean, I've... I've been working this unit for nine years now. I-I've investigated nearly 200 paranormal cases. We are due for some incontrovertible proof. I want vindication, for ... for Mulder and ... for all of us.

Evidence: 1993. This was the 200th episode of the show, meaning we’ve watched nearly every case they ever worked together.

The Truth (9x19/20)

Written by: Chris Carter

Aired: May 19th, 2022

Several references

SCULLY: My name is Dana Katherine Scully. I was assigned nine years ago to the X-Files to spy on Agent Mulder whose methods the FBI distrusted.

------

MULDER: Because this is greater than you or me. This is about everything we worked for for nine years.

------

KALLENBRUNNER: She gave up the miracle child? The proof of everything that she and Mulder claim that they've risked their lives for over the last nine years - she just sent it off to some strangers?

------

REYES: You don't care what these people have sacrificed over the last nine years - what's been lost to their cause.

------

MULDER: I'd like to congratulate you on succeeding where so many before you have failed. A bullet between the eyes would have been preferable to this charade. But I've learned to pretend over the past nine years - to pretend that my victories mattered only to realize that no one was keeping score.

Evidence: 1993

My Struggle (10x01)

Written by: Chris Carter

Aired: January 24th, 2016

MULDER: In 1993, the FBI sought to impugn my work, bringing in a scientist and medical doctor to debunk it, which only deepened my obsession for the better part of a decade, during which time that agent, Dana Scully, had her own faith tested.

Evidence: Can’t lay it out much more than that. 1993.

Babylon (10x05)

Written by: Chris Carter

Aired: February 15th, 2016

SCULLY: Nobody but the FBI's Most Unwanted. I've been waiting twenty-three years to say that.

Evidence: Direct reference to the “Pilot.” 1993.

To sum it up, there are 23 episodes (over 1/10th of the series) that reference 1993 as being the year Mulder and Scully met, 4 episodes (technically 3 since it’s a repeated line in Tunguska/Terma) that indicate 1992, 2 that imply 1994, and 1 that I can’t read.

It is worth noting that many television pilots end up looking different than the rest of the show (I mean... we don’t even get the classic X-Files theme in the Pilot, and Scully’s hair isn’t quite the red we’ve all come to know and love). Pilots are the ‘pitch’ in the hopes they’ll be approved for more, and sometimes the network exectutives say “okay, but change xyz,” resulting in actor changes, character alterations, and pivoting directions. One could say the Pilot date shouldn’t be taken at face value for this reason.

Also worth noting, 1992 isn’t treated like an accident. Like many other shows, The X-Files has made alterations to certain details they wanted to change before the DVD releases. One such example is that Gillian Anderson’s wrist tattoo was accidentally left in during a scene that aired, but you can see it has been edited out on subsequent releases because Scully doesn’t have a wrist tattoo. This proves that they want the show to be as accurate as possible when they release it. Since they haven’t changed the 1992, it serves to illustrate that it is likley a meaningful Easter Egg for Chris Carter, and not a true canoncial fact he sticks by seeing as many of the above references to 1993 were made by Chris himself.

Despite my 1993 propoganda, I know damn well we will all see a bunch of “Happy 31st Anniversary” posts here in a few days. I’ve been on those X-Files Facebook fanpages enough to know that if you post “Happy 30th Anniversary,” an angry, self-righteous bro will post a screenshot of the timestamp and say “Actually, it was 1992.” The X-Files’ popularity made it a hit with general audiences who see 1992 on screen and take it for what it is, and The X-Files’ appeal to cult fandoms inspired anal-retentive fans like myself to look deeper and find the 1993 written in the margins (over-and-over). 

Above all else, I encourage everyone to celebrate it however they want, at the end of the day, I think it’s beautiful that a thirty year old show is still being celebrated by its fans and recognized as an important piece of pop culture and television history. 

I will end this thread with one final quote from Scully: “The truth is out there... but so are lies.”

[naranjapetrificada]

Ooooh thank you for playing with me! I enjoyed your answers!

You write both Ed and Stede beautifully, but I totally get what you mean about getting into Ed's hornet's nest!

Funny, I don't really listen to music as I write because I get too distracted, but I love linking songs to scenes. Weird.

Awww... I'm freakishly proud that my words could make you cry. You'll never know how much your comments and support mean to me.

I made myself cry when I finished AWoTT because I hate the last few chapters. They did a real disservice to the story because I rushed and tried to write something readers would like instead of what I'd done for most of it. On top of that, I ruined the Buttons/Jeanne d'arc ending because I worried that it would seem like I was ripping off the show. They were both supposed to turn into birds. I can't face trying to fix it. (If you haven't read the end, don't waste your time, and if you did and were disappointed we are on the same page.)

Eeek! Sorry for the ramble... xoxoxo

Before I get to the actual reply to this ask: if y'all haven't been treated to A World of Tempestuous Things, one of the top-five best fics in the fandom, I'm gonna need you to drop everything and read it the way I did whenever I got a notification that a new chapter had been posted.

Re: the ask itself:

I'm sorry you're dissatisfied with how it turned out but if it's any consolation it felt like a fitting end to me! The first time I tried to read the final chapter I literally couldn't for all the tears in my eyes because I knew it was ending. I no longer have a neutral relationship with any of the songs you used for the section titles, especially "Don't Dream It's Over" because god if that didn't just get at the root of everything I felt about the fact that your fic existed. I miss your versions of Ed and Stede terribly and it's gonna be a tall order for anyone but David Jenkins to make them half so indelible to me. I felt like I was watching actual people I loved sail away forever.

I started reading it around when it was halfway through I think? It shouldn't have immediately worked for me when I first started. I was burning out a bit on reunion fics and I thought of myself as someone who didn't love when fics had too many OCs and those OCs got a lot of time in the story, not to mention my strict no-WIP rule, but whatever made me read it must have been fate or something. That and the reflectiveness of the characters and the times the prose knocked me off my feet and the usually gutting historical interstitials (I still think about/am haunted by the Chopin one at least once a week) and the lines I took screenshots of to send to my therapist. It's so much greater than the sum of its parts, and fiction like that can change things about a person's preconceived notions and personal tastes forever.

If I tried to list the things about it that are going to stay with me well, it would literally be easier for everyone if I just c/p the entire fic into this reply. It felt like such a journey that readers got to go on with both the characters and with the story on a like, metatextual level? It completely changed my relationship with high-quality WIPs. Now that I'm writing my first longfics I'm thinking about character and framing devices and POV voice in entirely new ways because I was fortunate enough to get the chance to read it. It's criminal that it's not in the top 5 most read fics in the fandom and I will not stop recommending it until that happens.

Even if you're not happy with the ending I think your readers are. This reader certainly is. And if you did want to go back and change it someday I have zero doubts that I'll be happy with that too. The fandom is richer for having your work in it.