#its still fucking november bitches

[kodocell]

i would have been recovered from my surgery by now

[dream-launch]

I am in so much pain and discomfort

[chelleisamazing]

Idk why but i get so annoyed when someone hits me up to tell me "hey I saw you in (a place)", and when I try to think about it i realize it couldn't have been me because I didnt even go out that day at all or something

[feralattentionwhore]

Watching them sleep on stream yearning to be together and join them 🫠

This is totally allowed n not creepy at all I promise.. right?

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Claimed

Summary: While on the run from raiders and their twisted game of hide and seek you get saved in the last minute by a creature you only thought existed in books. You knew you should be scared, yet you could not find it in you as you looked into the warm brown eyes of a wolf that seemed way too human to be a monster, letting him have you and your body, letting him claim you. Waking up in a cabin the next morning you think it was all a dream, wanting to move on until Tommy and Joel Miller find you in that cabin, offering you to stay in a town called Jackson.

Pairing: Werewolf! Joel Miller x fem. reader

Rating: E

Wordcount: 5.4k

Warnings: monster fucking (dub con -> enthusiastic consent; basically she's really into it once she's awake) angst, threats of SA, violence, death, smut (Somnophilia; oral sex f receiving; unprotected sex, knotting, cumplay), successful breeding, so much guilt, fluff, Joel is bad at feelings

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You were cold. Cold and hungry. Exhausted and, most of all, scared. 

You didn’t know exactly how long you had been running. The four men pursuing you had found you and your group a day (or three?) before, had killed everyone except for you, telling you to run for your life after stripping you of most of your clothes. 

Like some sick fucking game. 

Then again, ever since the outbreak, everything seemed to be a game of life and death. It wasn’t long until humanity showed its ugly face, and (mostly) men lived out their sick, primitive fantasies without the fear of any kind of punishment. 

You could hear them outside, laughing and snickering, fantasising about the sick things they would do to you if they found you. How they would decide if you were allowed to stay alive and become their pet, or if they would kill you. 

The sun had set hours ago, the only light source outside the full moon high on the cloudless sky. You were hiding under a trapdoor in a barn that looked like it might collapse the next time it rained. Though if you had to guess, you think it’d snow before it rained. 

It had to be November by now, Wyoming cooling down to a fucking freezer overnight, your teeth clattering as you shivered. 

They had only left you in your shoes and underwear. You had picked up an old jacket as you ran into an abandoned cabin the day before. Then you found a thin blanket that you currently had wrapped around your cold legs, the smell coming from it making it hard to breathe without feeling nauseous. 

Your fingers were wrapped around a rusty piece of metal you had found down here, not really knowing if you’d use it on the raiders or yourself before they got their hands on you. 

Though the thought crossed your mind that you being dead probably wouldn’t stop them from…

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. In your head, you hummed the lullaby your mother used to sing to you whenever you felt anxious as you were growing up. 

You didn’t dream of seeing her again one day anymore. You buried that hope after twenty years of whatever life you had lived since the outbreak. You liked to imagine she had a quick death once things started going downhill. You had been on vacation with your best friend in New York City when it all happened. You still had no idea how you made it out of there alive. 

“Come out, come out, wherever you are…” one of the men mocked you, his voice way too close for comfort. You wrapped a hand over your mouth, trying to be as quiet as possible in hopes he would just move on and leave you here to… probably die from hypothermia. Still a better death than what they had planned. 

You heard the footsteps getting closer before there was an earth-shattering scream outside, followed by growling. 

“What the fuck is going on there? Did the bitch cut your balls off, Clark?” The men who must be standing right above you right now yelled outside. There was a roar followed by a howl outside, and you closed your eyes. 

“Clark? Will?” The man above you called out, but there was no answer. 

“You better not be fucking with me, you assholes,” he said, his footsteps moving away from you. You allowed yourself to release a shuddering breath, pulling the blanket tighter around you. 

Another scream outside, followed by a loud howl, before there was only silence. 

Minutes went by, and you were pretty sure whatever was out there had probably killed the men that were after you. Yet you couldn’t bring yourself to risk getting out of your hiding spot to seek shelter somewhere else. Or find another blanket. 

You had no idea how to survive out here on your own. You hadn’t eaten in two days, only barely found something to drink while running. 

Maybe whatever was out there would make your death quick, and you could rest. The thought of getting a good night’s sleep made you sigh as you felt your mind slowly slip into darkness. 

Yet before you could let your mind rest, the trapdoor above you was ripped open, and you jumped, suddenly blinded by how bright the moon illuminated the night. You blinked against the sudden light, gasping when you found a creature looking down at you, big brown eyes fixated on you. 

It was standing on two legs, fur covering the whole body, the teeth sharp, reflecting the moonlight. 

It looked like a wolf. A huge fucking wolf, yet there was something human about it. 

You should have been scared, you should have been screaming, but somehow you didn’t, overcome with the feeling of being safe the longer you looked into its eyes. 

“You’re so pretty,“ you mumbled. “Are you here to kill me?“

The creature’s eyes widened before his massive head shook from side to side, as if saying no. You smiled softly at that. 

“You’re a good doggy,” you sighed, your eyes slipping closed. And you could swear the last thing you heard was an amused roar before your mind slipped into unconsciousness. 

You felt…. Warm. 

You didn’t know the last time you felt warm, which left you to the conclusion that you must have died. 

You were lying on something soft, surrounded by warmth. 

A satisfied moan slipped through your lips in the next moment, still half asleep, and you felt your body shuddering. Your hands ran over your body, your fingers slipping down your stomach before your eyes opened slowly, looking down just in time to see why you woke up, your pussy throbbing as an orgasm rushed through your body, making you arch your back and cry out as you looked between your thighs to find big brown eyes looking up at you. 

You thought you dreamed the wolf you remembered saving you before, but it was him. 

“You’re… You’re real…“ you whispered, your hand hesitantly reaching out, your fingers meeting the soft fur of the animal between your legs. It was real. He was real. The wolf was real, and he was here, and he was…

The wolf seemed to lean into your touch, his eyes seemingly trying to communicate with you, his expression torn before he growled, his eyes closing. 

“Oh shit,“ you whispered, slowly noticing that you were stripped completely naked, big strong and furry arms wrapped around your thighs, keep you lying on the mattress beneath you. 

You should be scared, you know you should. Yet you weren’t. Instead, you felt the safest you ever did. The big nose of the wolf nuzzled against your pussy, and you moaned quietly, your chest heaving as you took a deep breath. 

You should fight, run, scream, yet you wanted more. 

You wanted this creature to own you, to claim you. To be his. It seemed like the only thought in your mind the longer you looked into its eyes.

The wolf kept his dark eyes on yours, his cold nose nuzzling against your pussy until you felt his big tongue lick through your slit. 

“Oh fuck,“ you let yourself fall back down against the ground, the hand that had been touching the wolf coming up to your breast, squeezing it, playing with your nipple, noticing something… sticky on your chest. Bringing your fingers up, looking at them and the creamy substance on your fingers, your eyes found the wolf, finding him watching you intently. 

The long warm tongue kept licking you almost softly, the wet nose rubbing over your clit. 

Keeping your eyes on his, you brought your fingers to your mouth, your tongue darting out to taste it. The wolf growled, his eyes seemingly getting even darker as you tasted what you thought was his cum. You hummed, licking your fingers clean, the wolf’s tongue moving faster, making your legs twitch.

His big claws dug warningly into the soft skin of your thighs, before his tongue forced its way inside your pussy. 

Your lips parted as you cried out in ecstasy, the feeling foreign yet so fucking good as the big tongue of the wolf moved inside of you.

Biting your lips, you tried to keep quiet, panting for air as his tongue brushed over something inside of you that made you cry out in pleasure. 

“There… Fuck… Right there,“ you whined, trying to move your hips under his grip, but he growled, his tongue fixated on that one spot inside of you until you moaned loudly, your whole body shaking as you came hard, soaking the wolf between your legs as you squirted for the first time in your life. 

With your chest heaving, you slumped back against the mattress, panting as you tried to process what just happened. 

The wolf licked you clean softly before his claws let go of your thighs. You opened your eyes, watching him when you felt his tongue licked over your upper thigh, only noticing now that one of his claws must have nabbed your skin, drawing a tiny bit of blood he licked off. 

You were watching him, your eyes widening as the wolf slowly got on his feet, towering above you in his full height. 

He was breathtaking. Literally. 

Your eyes dropped to his cock, leaking with pre cum and standing proudly against his stomach. 

It was… definitely not human. 

It was dark red, at least 9 inches long. You probably could not close your fist around it, the girth was too big. But it was the knot that made you suck in your bottom lip, worrying. 

He was breathing deeply, his eyes fixed on your form, almost pleading to you, but you did not know for what. 

“It’s… It’s okay,“ you whispered, slowly sitting yourself up. It was almost like the wolf was shaking his head. 

“It’s okay. Take what you want.“

The moment those words slipped out of your mouth, Joel knew he had lost the last bit of control he had over his actions. He got on all fours, his face hovering over you and your beautiful eyes. 

You didn’t know the inner fight he had put on for hours since bringing you here. 

Joel was a man who always made more than sure that whatever he did with the person he was with, they were giving him enthusiastic consent before he touched them. 

But right now, Joel wasn’t a man. 

He was a creature of the night, his instincts reduced to his animalistic primal needs. 

He had made you cum twice before you even woke up, high on your taste, wanting more and more. Fuck he had even jerked off, shooting his cum all over your body like the animal he was. 

He’d never fucked anyone in this form before, and while a part of him hated the lack of control he had over how he behaved right now, another part was ready to be inside of you.

“Mhhh….“ he heard you hum, your fingers stroking through his fur, and Joel was sure he’d purr if you continued to touch him. 

But his cock was aching, and you were oh so soft and wet. 

And ready to breed. 

He leaned down, his nose nuzzling against your neck, inhaling you deeply before he looked deep into your eyes, ready to take what was his.

The wolf began to lick your upper body, focusing on your breasts, making you whimper, your fingers pulling on the fur of his arms. Slowly you let your hand slip down your body, your eyes widening when you came in contact with his cock, gasping softly. 

The wolf looked up at you, grunting as you tried to wrap your hand around it, your hand too small.

You felt the wolf lick your cheek, and you looked up at him, wondering what he was thinking. 

Taking a deep breath, you laid back, parting your legs for him even wider. 

The wolf was actively looking between your pussy and his claws, and you wondered if the man inside him would be putting his fingers inside of you if he was able to. He closed his eyes as you guided his cock towards your pussy. 

“Try to be gentle, yeah? At least at first…“ you hummed and sucked your bottom lip between your teeth, your eyes falling shut as the tip of his cock entered you ever so slowly. You stopped breathing. You didn’t know if it was seconds or hours until your pussy was stretched around his hot cock, the knot just outside of your pussy. 

He waited until you relaxed, letting you get used to his size.

The wolf leaned down, his fur brushing against your skin, looking deeply into your eyes before he bottomed out and began to move. His cock slowly dragging through your walls, the foreign shape stretching you out and hitting all the right spots.

You held on to the broad shoulders of the creature fucking you slowly.

“Harder,“ you moaned quietly, trying to move your hips up, but the wolf growled, pinning you against the ground. He stilled inside of you before he pulled out of you. 

Before you could react, he had you turned around, pulling you up so you were on your hands and knees, his cock entering you from behind in one hard thrust, making you cry out. 

He fucked into you deeply, pumping his cock inside you, his claws holding on to your hips, keeping you where he wanted you. 

“Oh fuck,“ you cried out, letting yourself fall down to your elbows, your head falling against the mattress. 

The wolf howled, and you felt his cock throbbing, the pointed tip kissing your cervix, making your legs shake. 

You felt so fucking full, his cock stretching you just right. 

“I’m gonna cum,“ you whined, meeting his thrusts, and you screamed when you came, clenching around his cock. Fucking you through your orgasm, he leaned over your body, his fur brushing over your naked back. Aftershocks of your orgasm were still running through your body when you heard the wolf growl, the cock inside you seemed to get even bigger before he howled, his knot pushing inside of you, filling you with his cum and keeping it inside of you. 

You felt his strong, soft arms wrapping around your middle before he slowly pulled you to your side, his cock still stuck inside of you, steadily filling you with his cum. 

Breeding you. 

You shuddered at the thought, feeling him lick your neck softly, pulling you even closer, keeping you warm.

The last thing you remember thinking before you fell asleep was that you wished you’d known his name…..

When you woke up, you found yourself under a mountain of blankets. Your memory was a little foggy, but you knew someone… or something had saved you. And from the soreness you felt all over your body, you were beginning to think you did not dream of the wolf who had taken you last night. 

Your lips parted as you realised there was a fire cracking in the small fireplace. You sat up, looking down at yourself, noticing that you were now wearing a soft Flannel. You brought the fabric up to your nose, surprised when you found it smelling clean with a hint of… wood. It reminded you of how your uncle had smelled when he returned from his job at the local wood factory. 

“Hello?” You called out, silence meeting you. 

There was a full bottle of what looked like water next to the old sofa you had slept on. Opening the lid carefully, you smelled it, confirming it was water. It could be drugged, your mind provided. But you were too thirsty to care, almost chugging the whole bottle down before slowly pushing yourself up to stand. 

You were wearing thick wool socks, your legs still naked. You brushed your fingers over a mark on your inner thigh.

Confused, you began to explore the room. 

It had been cleared out, but for some reason, you did not think someone actually lived here. There was, however, food on the table. Just a can of old beans and a fork. 

Narrowing your eyes, you eyed the can, your hands gripping the back of the chair that was tucked against the old wooden table. Looking down at your hands, you had grabbed something soft, finding yourself looking at an old, worn pair of sweatpants. 

You began to feel like you were in the twilight zone, waiting for someone to jump out of a corner. 

For him to find you in whatever form he was this morning. 

Sucking your bottom lip in, you looked around again before you slowly slipped your legs into the sweatpants, finding them way too big. But they were warm and soft, and you sighed in relief. 

Which didn’t last long, because you heard voices outside. 

Frantically looking around, you found the rusty piece of metal you had with you when you had hidden the night before, grabbing it. 

You moved behind the door as silently as possible, the voices coming closer. 

“We’re not here to kill you,” someone called out. A man. 

You heard that before. 

“I know you have no reason to trust us. But we’re here to help.”

He could smell her. 

Her and her flowery scent that seemed to drive him to insanity ever since he crossed it two days ago. 

Due to his… other self, his senses were always better than those of an average human, but in the week leading up to the full moon, they seemed to sharpen even further. It was why he and Tommy always went out on their monthly trip to the radio tower that lasted three days when they really just used the full moon to hunt down infected and people who would potentially bring harm to Jackson. 

He had been tracking three men, raiders, their scent full of adrenaline and arousal, when he came across your scent. Frightened, dehydrated, but so flowery and sweet that it was the only thing he could think about. 

Still in his human form, he had seen you, almost naked, running frantically through the woods. Away from them. 

He had kept an eye on you, the animal in him taking over, his urge to protect you taking over. Yet he waited until the next night, his wolf form making him stronger, to take your attackers out one by one, making it as painful as possible. 

And then you were in his arms. Cold, unconscious, yet so so beautiful.

He brought you to the cabin he and Tommy had cleared out the month after he got to Jackson, setting you down on the couch. 

Pulling a blanket over you, he was thankful for the fire Tommy must have lit when he had been here earlier, carefully putting another log of wood into the fire to keep it going. 

Making his way back to you, he was overcome with the urge to have you back in his arms. Carefully, he pulled you against him, and you seemed to seek his warmth, your fingers digging into his fur. 

Looking out, he counted that he had around three hours until the sun came up, and he’d change back to his human form. 

He knew he should have left you there. He should have gone out, leaving you safe and unharmed. 

He wished he could blame everything that happened in the cabin on his wolf side. The wolf side knew he had to have you because you were ready to breed. It’s why you smelled so sweet and irresistible for him. You were ovulating and ready to bear his offspring. But Joel was still inside. He knew what he was doing. And he tried to stop initially, but it was a fight he quickly let himself lose, getting lost in you. And the worst part was he enjoyed every single second. The way you held on to him. The way you tasted. The way you looked when you came. The way you smiled as he pumped you full of his cum, just before you passed out again. 

Joel sighed, following his brother as he approached the house slowly. Joel could smell you. Adrenaline cursing through your veins.

“I’m Tommy, and this is my brother Joel,” Tommy stopped in front of the house, holding his hands up. 

“We come from a community not far from here. We have water, electricity, food…”

Joel’s heart seemed to stop the moment he heard your voice. 

“How do you even know I’m here?” You asked. Tommy’s eyes found Joel’s. 

“We have cameras set up around the patrol route, and we saw you on one of them,” he lied easily. 

Joel and Tommy had talked about what to tell you. Tommy knew from the moment they met up after the moon disappeared, smelling you all over him. 

He did not ask questions when Joel told him they had to go get you from the cabin. 

They both had their fair share of things they weren’t the most proud of, both as humans and werewolves. Tommy knew better than anyone else how hard it was to keep yourself in control when all the monster in you wanted was to claim someone. 

It was how he met Maria.

Thankfully it all turned out for the best in the end, but still, Joel felt like a fucking monster. 

The door opened, and you stepped out carefully, holding up the piece of metal he had found you with last night in front of you. You were wearing his shirt. 

Mine. 

His pants.

Mine. 

He could smell himself all over you. 

Mine. 

He wondered if he was still dripping out of you.

“Cameras? You… You know how I got here?” You asked, your heartbeat quickened. 

Tommy shook his head. 

“No. The cameras only activate once you’re inside the cabin.”

“Oh,” you nodded, hesitating.

“Did you…. See something weird?”

“Just you pretty much passing out,” Tommy lied again. 

“Weird,” you whispered to yourself, but both Joel and Tommy could hear it. 

“So… what do you say? Care to join us?” Tommy asked. 

“I… I should not trust strangers. But these last days have been… I’m still not quite sure how I survived…” you shook your head, your arms hugging yourself. 

“You are welcome to wait out until patrol gets here. My wife will be with them, she’s kind of the leader of our little community,” Tommy said.

Your heartbeat slowed down. 

“You’re married?” She asked with a small smile. Tommy nodded, his smile wide.

“Married and about to become a dad. Well… still a couple months to go, but, yeah.”

You nodded. 

“What about your brother? Joel, was it?” You asked. 

There was something familiar about the broad man standing just behind Tommy. He hadn’t looked at you directly once, but something told you you knew him. 

“It’s complicated,” he said, and a shiver ran through your whole body, hearing his voice. 

You swallowed. 

“I haven’t heard that since college,” you joked. 

“You went to college?” Tommy asked. 

“Yeah. I was 19 when the outbreak happened,” you said. 

“Did anyone make it?” Tommy asked. 

You closed your eyes, shaking your head. 

“Whole family is dead. The people I was with… Raiders killed them before they made me…” you shook your head, missing the way Joel’s whole body stiffened as he tried to control his anger. 

“I’m so sorry,” Tommy said, and you sighed. 

“Well. I should have learned not to get too attached to people. It’s a luxury nowadays to have someone.”

“Maybe you’ll have more luck in our community,” Tommy winked, and you took a deep breath. What other choices did you really have?

You were tired and weak, and maybe you had hallucinated having sex with a… wolf? 

Because if they had cameras inside the cabin and last night really happened… You felt your cheeks growing warm, a throbbing between your legs. 

You looked at Joel again, his eyes now on you. Brown eyes that seemed to look right into your soul, making you part your lips in a gasp.

Was it him?

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, not looking at you again. 

“What do you say, darlin’?” Tommy asked, and you did not miss the way Joel’s head snapped to look at his brother, glaring at him. 

Tommy smirked. 

“I think I would kill for a hot shower,” you said with a small smile.

“When are you gonna stop hovering like a mother hen and go tell her?” Joel almost jumped as he heard his brother’s voice behind him. He was hiding out of sight from you, watching how you helped Maria with some garden work. 

It had been 16 nights since he had you, 15 days since you moved into the house next to his, and it had been pure hell. Being so close to you but not touching you. He took care of you in his own way, from afar. Meals showing up in front of your door, so he was sure you ate. Sending his brother over to fix up the house, because he did not know if he could hold himself back if he was so close to you. 

He had done some reading the day before, not understanding why he felt like this. 

Now, there wasn’t, like, some kind of How to be a Werewolf for Dummies book around, but what he found made him realise that you probably were his mate. He never felt like this before, his body physically hurting when he did not know where you were. 

He wondered if you felt it, too. If you felt the changes…

“Tell her what?” Joel grumbled. 

“You could start with telling her that you’re sorry that you behaved like a dick, then start with explaining to her that once a month you turn into a werewolf and that yes, it was you that fucked her. And then you could congratulate her that she’s pregnant,” Tommy listed, and Joel growled. 

He had known he had bred you the moment he had changed back the morning after, his guilty conscience killing him ever since. 

Not only that he took advantage of you, no, he claimed you, bred you, and it took everything in him not to make you his officially. 

Joel shook his head. 

“She’s gonna hate me. And fuck… A baby? I’m way too old to raise a child…”

“I don’t know, big brother, you’re doing a great job with Ellie. Any kid would be fortunate to have you as their dad,” Tommy said surprisingly softly. 

Joel took a deep breath, watching you wave Maria goodbye as you walked down the street towards home. 

“Okay,” Joel said, straightening his shoulders before he followed you home. 

You were surprised when you came home and did not find food on your doorstep, if you were honest. You had asked Maria if finding food was normal. It wasn’t.

You had a suspicion as to who it was leaving it, but you had not found the confidence to ask him. 

It was like every thought was filled with Joel since you saw his eyes. And even though it sounded insane, you were almost certain that the wolf from the night who claimed you and the man who seemed unable to look into your eyes afterward were the same person. 

He felt familiar, like you knew each other, and it was getting harder each day to not be with him. You had never felt like this before, pining over a man who was not only much older than you but who you had never really talked to before. 

Shaking your head, you stared at your reflection in the mirror before you washed your face. Tomorrow, you would start working at the greenhouse, and you wanted to make a good impression, which was why you decided to go to bed early. 

You were brushing your teeth when you heard a knock on your door. Frowning to yourself, your body buzzing as if it knew who it was, you spit the toothpaste into the sink before you pulled the shirt you had from the cabin over your head and walked towards the door. 

His eyes were on you as you walked over to your door, a nervous flutter in your belly as you slowly pulled the door open. 

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before he looked at you, his jaw flexing. 

“Hi Joel,“ you said quietly, your hand wrapped around the side of your door. 

His eyes seemed to soften as he looked at you. 

“Can… Can we talk?“ He asked. 

Taken by surprise, you nodded. 

“Would you like to come in?“

He could hear you in your kitchen, cluttering as you prepared him some tea. You had only been in this town, this house, for a week, and it already felt more homey than the house he lived in for the last years. Ever since Ellie moved out, he did not like spending time alone in his house. Something was missing. 

You were missing. 

“I hope you like peppermint,“ you said as you came back into your living room. He didn’t, but he would never tell you. 

“Thank you,“ he said, nervous all of a sudden. 

You sat down on the other side of the couch from him, pulling your legs against your chest as you looked at him. 

“What did you want to talk about?“ You asked. 

He took a moment to think about what to say, not really sure how to start. 

“Is it about the… the night we met?“ he heard you ask carefully, and he turned his head to look at you, surprised. 

“I thought it was a dream at first. How I woke up during the night. I thought I might be losing my mind, but… But I wasn’t, right?“ you asked. 

He took a deep breath, before he shook his head. 

“You weren’t. I.. I saved you. I killed those… monsters, only to…“

He felt your hand on his. 

“Is that why you were ignoring me? Because you…“

“I took advantage of you! You smelled so sweet, and you were so soft… And I usually can control myself, I know what is happening, but I couldn’t around you. I had to… I have to have you. It’s like…. “

“Like you don’t feel whole when you’re not around me? Yeah. That’s how I feel too,“ you said quietly, and he raised his eyebrows in surprise. 

“You do?“

You nodded. 

“You’re not… scared of me?“ he asked.

You giggled, slipping closer to him. 

“Joel, you saved my life, and then you made me cum four times. Was I a little out of it? Maybe. But I don’t regret it.“

“Good… That’s… That’s… good…“ he mumbled, closing his eyes as he felt your warm hand on his cheek, turning his head towards you. 

“You’re so pretty,“ you mumbled, and he chuckled. 

“That’s the first thing you said to me that night,“ and he was still surprised about it. 

“It’s true. It’s… I always knew there was more out there than just us. Well and walking mushrooms that are trying to kill us. And I might have read my fair share of fantasy books.“

“Yeah?“ he asked, his hand coming to rest on your thigh. You nodded. 

“It’s hot,“ you shrugged before you leaned in and kissed him softly. 

He rested his forehead against yours, breathing you in. 

“I have to tell you something else,“ he said. 

“What?“ you whispered. 

“The reason why I couldn’t control myself was because my senses are heightened when I’m in my wolf form. And I… could smell that you were ovulating, which is why everything in my head screaming at me to… breed… you….“

Your lips parted, and he could practically hear you processing what he had just said. 

“And… And…. Would you… Would you know if you bred me?“ you asked. 

He nodded. 

“Then I guess I should tell you that twin pregnancies are common in my family line,“ you said.

He huffed a laugh before he felt you climb into his lab. 

“I think you should take me out on a date,“ you mumbled. 

“Yeah?“

“Yeah,“ you nodded, before you leaned in and kissed him. 

[delta-pavonis]

I would love to hear more about Raspberries and Rum?

*cackles*

OKAY. So this came from a conversation that I had with @wordsinhaled in, no joke, NOVEMBER 2022. And I still haven't written all of it. BUT some of the bits from our conversation are goddamned SOLID GOLD and I am cracking myself up all over again reading the transcript. [Important background science here (just read the title).] Here is me just copy-pasta-ing from Discord with no indication of who is saying what:

hob getting wasted on dream’s jizz because he tastes like a good mixed drink suddenly a thing i need to see Hob as New Inn bartender keeps trying to make a new rum cocktail with raspberry flavor and no one understands why referencing it makes Hob blush, it is just a reference to that cool space data, right? now suddenly need a 5+1 where hob keeps making dream trial raspberry rum cocktails until they find the Perfect One and dream is very bemused Gotta keep going back and comparing to the actual source material apparently raspberry season in the UK starts in june where he’s like fucking. up handmaking raspberry simple syrup in the middle of the night and dream is like “ah, offerings” Because, honestly, he is technically trying to figure out a way to have everyone who orders the drink get drunk on something that tastes like his husband's jizz? And I find that fucking hilarious? Definitely deranged Hob humor mainly because he’s like, do i want everyone to suck your dick? this is reserved for me but do i want everyone to know the JOY of this taste? perhaps However, first time a university student of his orders the cocktail, once it is on the menu, Hob has A Moment of Regret™️  just a moment though i wonder if dream is aware he tastes like this or if he just. came up with the most reasonable taste he felt he would have when composing his physical body, which of course would be nothing like human and of course some esoteric shit like didn’t even think about it once so he keeps trying this drink and being like yes my very competent bartender husband perfecting his fancy raspberry drink i am so proud but hob is looking perpetually more glinty around the eyes each time he gets closer to the mark and dream is like, cottoning on that Something Is Up eventually dream is like “there is some... significance here. that i am missing.” and hob has to turn around and hide his face in his hands because somehow he never thought he’d have to Explain what he was doing especially because i feel like this would be some shit hob would try to do one time in the middle of the night while planning the summer drinks menu and then somehow he’d be neck deep in recipes from google weeks later but then dream is fucking. super out of left field when he finds out like... “you are crafting a libation. to me.” and hob is like uhhhhhhh no???? not actually???? am i??? I mean... just... based... on you? Hob will argue semantics on this dream is like you’re distilling my essence into a drink that all your patrons will imbibe and hob is like uhhh maybe? uuuhhh... maybe I am? okay but dream like THAT’S KIND OF HOT and hob is like I WASN’T TRYING TO BE HOT I WAS BEING STUPID and dream is just. yes. my husband can be very stupid. and very hot "These two things are not mutually exclusive, my dear Hob." of course this has to culminate in “you mean to tell me you don’t know you taste like raspberries and rum? you just made yourself taste all... lovely and you had no idea?” “i had not the faintest idea, indeed.” “you’ve never...?” “i have had no occasion to... sample myself, as it were.” “sample... jesus. alright. what are you, an hors d’oeuvre at the department party?” “no. but it seems i could be its signature drink.” DREAM IS A LIL BITCH hob’s inner exhibitionist cackling at forcing his staid ass colleagues to drink this drink while dream broods in the corner indulgently eyeing his antics everyone like “wow robbie this is a GREAT cocktail mind if i nick the recipe off you” and hob is like “ah no actually, it’s a bit of a jealously guarded secret” NO. Dream overhears and that's how he introduces himself, the little shit "And you are?" "Oh, I am Hob's Jealously Guarded Secret."

Here is the first chapter of the 5+1 that is in that WIP file (under cut because NSFW - cw for drunkenness and blowjobs):

One: May

It starts as a joke. A joke in Hob’s head that he doesn’t tell anyone. Because he knows that after this many years walking God’s green Earth that he can have a slightly warped sense of humor. 

So Hob keeps his motivations to himself and dusts off his bartending skills, back from when he had just opened The New Inn and was still getting the staff up-to-snuff. And then he sets to work. 

He has to figure out the rum first. Actually, Hob knows exactly which rum he would like to use, the second batch of ron miel honey rum by Destilerías Arehucas produced shortly after they opened on Gran Canaria island in 1884, but as far as he can tell there are only three bottles of it left in the world and they are all in his personal collection. 

So Hob called some friends and obtained as wide a variety of current lines of Canary Island honey rum that he could manage. He bided his time until the next Friday night, poured out a shot of each in a row on his coffee table, and proceeded to get fantastically pissed.

(Could Hob have sipped and spit out the liquor as he tasted them? Sure. Was this more fun? Absolutely.)

It was only after Hob was well toasted that Dream sidestepped into his living room. 

Hob was off the couch and on his knees in front of Dream before he even really decided what to do with his drunk-ass self. He was nuzzling into the fly of familiar black jeans and Dream was letting out a surprised hiccup of a moan and Hob was pretty sure his brain had dissolved into giddy bubbles of lust and want.

Long fingers wound into Hob’s hair and held him there as he rocked forward, purring, “Why hello to you, too, Hob Gadling. I did not expect ah!” A gasp when Hob started peeling away the clothing. “Expect quite this manner of hospitality upon my arrival.”

“Gotta…” Hob had the single-minded determination only liquor could provide. “Need to check…”

Dream made a curious hum of an inquiry at that, but Hob didn’t have time to explain. The taste of the rum was already being diluted by all the saliva pooling in his mouth and he needed to compare them. 

It had been just over a year since His Stranger had walked back into his life. Slightly less than that since they realized what absolute idiots they were for each other. It was enough time, given the many many repetitions Hob had to practice, for him to get really fucking good at getting Dream off with his mouth.

Hob, in his infinite need to stroke his own ego, had timed it once. Well, more than once. Many times actually. The current record was 143 seconds from first press of lips to spend. Hob drunkenly thought he could do better than that. Not that he had his phone handy. Ah well, that wasn’t a good reason to not try.

Dream finished getting hard in Hob’s throat, sobbed as Hob swallowed repeatedly. His lover was shaking with it already, Hob preened distantly, and moved to press the tips of his fingers just so into Dream’s perineum. Another press and stroke behind Dream’s balls, this time while Hob sucked with his entire lung capacity as he backed away, and then the Lord Morpheus was coming with a strangled shout right onto Hob’s tongue.

Hob savored it for a moment, eyes closed, cataloging the taste, before swallowing and scrabbling away from Dream to the table. He grabbed the bottle of what he thought was the best flavor match and took a pull from it.

“Oh yeah,” Hob’s ass hit the floor with a thump. “That’s it.”

[pandorascripts]

it’s time to go

summary: You know when it’s time to go. 

cw: angst.

BASED ON ITS TIME TO GO (all rights to ms taylor).

WAKE UP BITCHES I POSTED.

———————

You can feel it, that deep pit in your stomach as Taylor interlocks her hands with her boyfriend. The feelings enough to make you order a stronger drink, down it, and walk out the door. As much as you wanted to be at your friends wedding, you really couldn’t watching Taylor show off her new boyfriend. 

When the door swings shut behind you, you take a deep breath. Taylor had led you on for years now. You two were close friends, but behind closed curtains she was handsy, always touching you, kissing you. You frowned at the thought, she’d practically act like a couple with you, then the moment the spotlight was on her you’d be shoved away.

But of course Taylor had the right to get jealous, she always was. You’d try to go on a date, to get over her, and she’d act like you were the villain, as if you hadn’t asked her to go on a date multiple times before. You’re done, you know it now, it’s time to go. 

Your shaky hands open her contact, blocking her number and deleting it. You pocket your phone, deciding to walk the five blocks home.

The cold November air doesn’t stay when you enter the venue, trying to find the bride and wish her the best. It doesn’t take long, she’s lounging on the side, smiling as she talks to someone. You walk up behind her, watching as the conversation ends. 

“Hey!” She smiles, giving you a hug, her arms resting on your biceps. 

You lean down to her ear so she can hear what you say over the loud music. “I gotta get going, but I just wanted to say congrats again.”

She frowns playfully, nodding along. “It was good to see you again! Get home safe.”

“Will do.” You smile, walking back out the doors. 

You’re not allowed one moment of silence it seems, as heavy footsteps trail behind you. You let out yelp as your shoulders get tugged backwards, Taylor’s angry face right in front of yours. 

“What gives?” you say, trying to free your shoulder of her grip. 

Taylor doesn’t relent, still holding on to it as she speaks. “So you’re just flirting with the bride now?”

“Wh— The hell? I was saying goodbye.”

“And you just had to lean in her ear to do so?”

You scoff, Taylor’s jealousy absolutely astounding to you. “Yeah, I did, Taylor! It’s loud in there.”

Taylor shakes her head, letting your shoulder drop as she lets out a hot breath. You wipe your nose, turning back around to leave, but Taylor speaks again. 

“You’re a total bitch.”

“Excuse me?” you ask, eyes wide at her insult. 

She goes to say something else, but you cut her off. “You’ve been leading me on for years, Taylor. You don’t get to call me the fucking bitch when you showed up with a boyfriend after ghosting me. You’re the bitch!”

Taylor looks taken aback at your words, not that she should be. “Leading you on? When did I ever do that?”

You scoff, running your hands through your hair. “Maybe when you would kiss me and act like we were dating, only for you to call us friends in public. Not to mention all the times we made out when you were off fucking around with whatever dude you were dating.”

Taylor stays silent, a small sniffle the only thing you hear. You figure it’s the cold weather, but then you hear another as she clears her throat. 

“You’re right,” she admits softly. “You don’t deserve that… I’m sorry.”

You nod your head, turning around again to walk home. The pit in your stomachs more prominent than ever, as is the sinking feeling in your heart. As much as it kills you to admit it, you know it’s time to go. So you go. 

[not-goldy]

Jikookers the only people in this fandom who are ever happy and its cause we actually like Jimin and Jk as people equally and respect their bond and their choices and their friendships with others. Imagine the two biggest fanbases hating each other and their biases favorite person. Could never be me cause I like being happy and not miserable. PJM's bias Jimin and Jimin's bias is JK, but they hate JK. JJK bias JK, but JK's bias is Jimin, but they hate Jimin. And since Jikook bias each other, they are the two that are the closest and are never gonna stop being close cause of fans. So you might as well just give it up the hate, cause you are never gonna get your way. Tkk are miserable because Jikook are close. PJM's are miserable because Jikook are close. Vmin shippers are miserable cause Jikook are close. JJK are miserable cause Jikook close. Yoonmin shippers are miserable because Jikook are close. Everyone is miserable because Jikook are close. No one in this fandom is ever happy because they can't control Jikook and make them stop hanging out. Jikookers however, sleep at night, always happy, well fed, always fresh face, moisturized and unbothered, because we know Jikook love each other and are always gonna choose each other and prioritize each other and the closest. Dating or not, Jikook have always been the closest and if that wasn't made clear, then them enlisting together, should have. If you love your bias, but hate who they love, you are never gonna be happy. It is that simple. I think about Jikook going to Japan right at Thanksgiving and ruined everyone's thanksgiving, but Jikookers. I ate damn good knowing Jikook were having the time of their life. Then right before Christmas they enlisted together and ruined everyone's christmas, but Jikookers. I had a damn good Christmas knowing my biases were gonna be together for Christmas and the next 18 months. If JK wants to hang out with his friends and travel or do whatever, more power to him, at the end of the day I know he loves Jimin and having other friends doesn't take away from that and vice versa with Jimin doing stuff with others, doesn't take anything away from him and JK. I don't need to make it competition, cause there isn't one, Jikook are always gonna choose each other. And its something I know in my heart. Therefore it doesn't bother me when they go out with others. Just like when Jikook wasn't Jikooking so loud, I never had doubt and look what happened. Jikook came in like a wrecking in ball in 2023 and said oh you thought we weren't friends and neck stomped this whole fandom. One thing after another, after another and didn't let none of these bitches breathe and now look for the next 18 months still in the same 5th division, just like they planned.

As a Jikooker I'm always happy as happy can be. I've had a smile on my face since November. The rest of y'all, stay safe out there.

Honestly fuck them all.

[buff-muffin]

This is a Drabble I wrote that was originally going to be the start of an actual fic where Mike meets Charlie’s ghost and the two recognised each other and start catching up and helping each other out in their similar goals. But I haven’t had time to really write in weeks and I know after the movie any motivation for this story is burning in the pits of hell. So instead take this:

A drabble based off Micheal Afton getting ready for a work interview after being scooped. So uhh yea, CW for. Um… Grossness and mentions/ suggestions to body horror :)

It was morning. It was piss-fuck early morning. The ancient, dented alarm beside his bed blared with a static screech, almost unfamiliar with how long it had been since he had needed to listen to its shitty morning song. Already, all Mike wanted was nothing more than to curl up back in bed, back into the soothing lulls of sleep where he could simultaneously forget and remember everything terrible about life. With drowsiness weighing his arms like led, he tried to shift ever so subtly to get comfortable, though all it did was drag his mind right back to reality and awareness of his body. The first thing he noticed was his skin, he quickly became conscious of how it was sagged, almost like it was melted and stuck against the soggy old, torn mattress he still hadn’t found time to replace. It wasn’t like he could feel the bumps and spikes of old rusted springs that snapped through the fabric. Not through the tingling numbness that plagued his own dead body. So it was on his… eventually to do list. He had all the time in the world after all.

With glaring awake-ness back into his body, he could do nothing but pull his flesh off the drying liquid that stained the fabric of his mattress and wake up. With a slight stretch and a disgustingly slow peel, he pried himself free and pushed his legs over the side of the bed. Only now, sitting with his back so badly hunched he might completely collapse, did Mike even open his eyes. There was no sleep to wipe away and no light to adjust to. He was just, awake, back in the world of the living once again. It was only when his brain caught up did he look over the shitty apartment space he called home.

It was a studio apartment bathed in darkness from the closed curtains. The living conditions of this run down place was the definition of unliveable, which made it perfect for him. There was a leak of some kind of liquid in the kitchen. He didn’t really have an actual roof as little bits of asbestos would rain down if ever his upstairs neighbour stomped too hard. There was mould in about every corner. A roach infestation and probably a termite one too. But rent was dirt cheap and the old fuck daring enough to sell this piece of shit didn’t care how dead he looked, as long as he paid rent.

It was a good deal. A good deal for someone who can't die of any of the health code violations going on in this place.

Finally shutting off his alarm that only seemed to get more distorted as it screamed, Mike let the reality of the day wash over him. Right, busy… busy… With a resolution about as strong as his endo supported spine, he finally pulled himself up and away from his resting place. Heh. He was in nothing but a pair of boxers despite the November weather, not like he needed to keep much warm after all. So with slow, lugged and lazy steps, he dragged his boneless corpse over the piles of dirty and stained clothes and across to the bathroom; the only other room of the house. What were all those clothes stained with? An orangey-browny sometimes greeny liquid that would leak out from his scars if he laid down too long. Whatever it was, it was also on his bed and a bitch to wash out. So really he planned on throwing them all away eventually too. It was also on his never-to-do list.

The bathroom was no better than the rest of the house, if anything, arguably worse. The walls were caked in black mould and the floor painted with even more laundry that made little mounds to walk on. Under the sink was completely ransacked for its chemicals, the shower curtains were brittle with age and mould. The whole place smelled like mildew and the humidity was so bad fish could breathe in here. Even the appliances inside hardly worked. The water pressure in the shower was so dog-shit it was enough to make God cry. And half the time his sink water would be brown, just cause. Even the counter was covered in junk. But at least the mirror still worked besides the slight permanent fog.

Mike didn’t bother closing the door, and looked himself in the mirror. Skin was still as gross as ever. Hairless, purple and a little bit saggy, maybe that was a normal sag? He liked to think it was a normal sag. Like old peoples faces just started drooping once they hit eighteen. Because that’s definitely how it worked. The fact he was an adult now is still a weird one to come to terms with. So much time had passed. So much time he hardly remembered… he hardly remembered…Enard- Staring into the reflection his dead white pupils blinked away thoughts as he was dragged back to reality, right… busy busy. No time to think about months of his life lost to being a flesh puppet. Waking up a little more, he bared his teeth at his reflection, looking over them with a dull exhausted interest. Yellow and stained but unchanged, one would have thought he might have lost them a long time ago but nope. In fact they weren’t even rotting anymore now that he didn’t eat. Score. His tongue on the other hand… Was looking a bit worse for wear. He was no mortician, he didn’t really know how to make it stop rotting, he would just have to hope he could still talk when it fell out.

His eyes were a different story, no longer did he have his fathers diluted blue irises that made him shiver looking in his own reflection. In fact he no longer had eyes at all. Instead his eye sockets were bathed in darkness, with little white dots deep inside that worked as his pupils. Yeah besides his organs they were quick to toss out his eyeballs to make sure they could see when using him like a living animatronic suit. It was a little freaky that he could stick his fingers in his eyes and feel around the sticky and dried flesh. He didn’t like to, but it was kinda cool in a fucked up sort of way. The idea made him want to vomit. And wanting to vomit reminded him that he didn’t have organs. And THAT reminded him of shitty things, so he usually didn’t poke around unless something got stuck in there.

“Fuck. fuck fuck fuck. Interview. Ok, interview. Fuck-I gotta shower. Ok no it’s fine, I woke up early for this I’m still on time.” Trying to snap himself out of damp and depressing thoughts, he slapped his hands lightly on his hollowed cheeks and ignored the gross slapping sound that came from boneless fingers on sewn up skin. Reaching a hand past the slimy and brittle curtain he grabbed a knob and random and spun it a few times. The water dribbled and sputtered before finally coming out enough that he could actually fucking clean himself with.

It took a while believe it or not. Trying to shower without getting water in your stitches that are literally all over your body fucking sucks. Cause then he’d have to drain the water out of his empty body and if he’s unlucky have to do the stitches all over again. And the shitty patch work that covered his body spoke for itself that he can't sew for SHIT. The only upside was that he didn’t have any hair at all, he didn’t have to worry about shampoo or conditioner; just a light scratch to his skull did the job. The only things he actually needed to do was scrub off the remaining residue from his mattress that had plastered itself to his skin. Well, and wash away the smell of physical rot with nothing but a cheap body wash he bought just for today. Actually he bought some other things for this interview too.

Other things being, makeup.

Ok yeah-it sounds a little stupid, but when your skin is a beautiful shade of undead purple, and you're heading in for a work interview at a childrens’ entertainment establishment. The best you could do was just look a little living, ya know? So, once Mike was padded dry using the one clean towel he still had, he wrapped it around his waist and left the bathroom, retrieving the makeup he left out, along with the only nice outfit he bothered to keep clean. Bundling everything in his arms, he returned to the only mirror in his apartment and dumped all the supplies in the sink to get dressed first. His clothes were simple, and styled a little like a homeless man. A pair of long baggy jeans, the only pair that weren’t ripped intentionally or by a robot. A turtle neck that would do a good job of hiding some scars that decorated his freak of a neck, and a purple flannel he stole from his fathers leftover stuff. I mean was it really stealing if his mum was gonna sell ‘em anyways?

When he looked in the mirror it felt odd. He never did look right, no matter what he wore. But the fact his skin now matched his fathers obnoxious plum coloured clothes was enough to make him shiver. As uncomfortable as the flannel made him, it beats trying to thrift at three AM. The last details of his outfit was still stuffed in his pocket, a pair of mittens and an old grey beanie that had been with him through many winters. Thank fuck for the cold weather giving him and excuse to hide more of his corpse skin right?

When he was finally dressed and drowned in deodorant to mask the lingering scent of death, he turned back to the musky and foggy mirror staring down at the products still abandoned in the sink. Foundation, concealer, some weird palette thing that he spent ten bucks on, an egg sponge that was probably important, and one of those weird also kinda egg shaped brushes that seemingly every woman owned. He didn’t know jack-shit about makeup. He was a freshly twenty year old guy with a sister that went missing before she could become a teen and actually get good at this bullshit. And a mother who never had a chance to dress up. The most he was going off of was when Elizabeth would beg and cry to cake his face to look like a bootleg clown. But that was when they were both children.

Alright, makeup, he could do this. Basically like half the population wears this shit, can’t be too hard. Ok first, foundation? Or would concealer be first for him? He does need to conceal like… everything. Maybe if he layers foundation enough it will conceal all his issues? He could probably put concealer on next if needed. Using the sponge, he started smearing his face in what felt like skin colour paint. One layer made him look as if nothing changed. So he added some more, then more. And when he still looked a little bit… freaky, with a purple undertone he added concealer. And well… he didn’t look… terrible?

Well, he still looked like a clown, and his eyes were still glowing lights in pits of darkness and he was still bald as fuck. So like a horror clown from hell. But his cheeks looked less dead and he looked passable for a living human, if only just a little uncanny. His face looked as flat as a paper plate which probably didn’t help. Looking down at the palette thing he was sure he had wasted his money on, he could feel himself cringe. Not what he thought he would be using art class for, but at least it wasn’t a complete waste.

Using the brush, he shaded from jaw to cheek and along the sides of his nose. He even added little highlights just to seal the deal on the idea of being alive. He wasn’t going too over the top with this, it’s not like he was going out for a tea party or some shit. He just needed to look alive. All around, makeup took an hour and he ended with a presentable face and a new understanding of why the few girls he dated were always running late. It was satisfactory. So, deeming himself done, he washed off his hands and the sink that had been splattered in spilled concealer. Once all the shit was dry and his black towel was newly dawned with fresh skin coloured stains he finally walked out of the bathroom to the rest of his decomposing house.

Finally, he pulled on his tattered beanie and dug through the remains of his backpack. The thing was old, rotting and falling apart at the seams. A large stain still sat at the bottom from a particularly rotten apple from high school. But now it was filled with everything he would need for today. Definitely expired meds. A fake resume, that was basically fucking empty besides some good words from a volunteer place he had never actually worked at. Fake ID, for a Mr Jeremy Fitzgerald. Surprisingly, when he called the place, they didn’t have that many checks besides explaining that as long as you had a clean criminal record you would be fine to work.

A particular stain on that shiny old record of his rang in his head. There was no court problem besides other parents complaining about the trauma their children went through. But he was sixteen, and arguably had it worse at the time. So no real charges were pressed, just a note in case he became a deadbeat in the street or something. So they could tie it all back to the trauma of the biggest fuck up of his life and throw him behind bars anyways. But it’s fine, that wouldn’t matter. Jeremy Fitzgerald was a fresh out of high school teen looking for honest work between his studies. A blank slate he planned on tossing away once he got what he needed from this place.

Once he figured out what his father had planned.

With a new found resolve, and his double check done, Michael Afton pulled on his glasses and gloves and slugged his bag onto his back. He looked back to his bed and resisted the urge to collapse on it before he pushed the door open and slammed it shut behind him. Jeremy Fitzgerald had an interview for the nightshift at the new and improved Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza. And he couldn’t miss this chance.

[miss-celestia13]

Grey November…

As the earth beds down

Winter’s bitter hands branch out

Leaves, shivering, falling

Rich in gold and burgundy

Crackling underfoot

Fleeting mosaic colors

Waning with the wax of the moon

The withering of the last summer rose

Petals gilded in rot

Thorns dulled and forgotten

As cold creeps through bodies and dirt

It bites, cheeks colored with blood

Teeth fashioned in ice

Wool and fleece, a feeble armour

Wind laced in frost

Winters savage breath

Clouds leaden and laden

Unleash their gelid burden in silver tears

Unthawed and icebound

As skin freezes over

And winter slips through your bones

The land decays, and you hide inside

Under blankets, and hope for kinder days

Winter is death

Come spring

Winters sacrifice ressurects the first blooms

And we forget

Until winter wakes once more

An ending is an ending

But balmy days soon return

Summer coaxed freckles and honeyed skin

Flowers flush, and the earth renews

Fingers of sunlight undo winter's glacial loss

Brave the seasons

Of nature and life

Slowly, we realize

An ending isn’t always

The End

It’s rebirth

~*~

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.

.

.

.

.

.

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It’s very cold today. I can’t feel my face or toes. I was made for the Bahamas, and sunshine, not this baltic place! Please don’t judge my attempt at playing the poet. I have no grand delusions of my abilities. I just like words, and sharing whatever nonsense pops into my head here, and I have a lot of nonsense to spill 🤭 I simply wanted to make you all aware that I am fucking freezing. I hate it here. I am nothing, if not a dramatic bitch. If it wasn’t already obvious🤣 anyway, thaw me in May when the sun comes back for its two week tour, not a moment before! Thank you 😘❤️

Also, it’s technically still autumn. But Scotland only gets two seasons. Winter, and all of them, except summer, at once every other day of the blasted year.

[davekat-sucks]

Its disgusting how Sarah Zedig still seems to think Tavros is a chaser and will defend Vriska at all costs and victim blame Tavros and somhow is still considered a "popular" respected figure in the community. I have even seen one person once say that constantly and when they finally got called out they started to say it was a "joke" even if they kept getting into arguments over it and constantly defending Vriska and people like Zedig go around and spread this fucked up interpretation and try to defend it and to this day, she still claims that Tavros is a "chaser" and she doesnt seem to realized how wrong and possibly even harmful going around claiming that stuff (and how in the past she posted tweets that sounded aggressive about

"some folks think homestuck did tavros and gamzee dirty and that this is a fatal flaw in the text; when i countenance these people, i am convinced we read two very different comics. who’s right and who’s wrong? there are degrees. i can pull out any number of quotes from andrew hussie about the importance of vriska and the weenieness of tavros, but then, authors love to say things, and there’s plenty of stories i love in ways that directly oppose to the authors’ stated intent." - Sarah Zedig on hms-no-fun, march 6th 2024

"tavros and aradia sprites looking good, but damn the boy likers out there really gotta chill the fuck out and remember what comic they're a fan of"

2. "how do you read all eight thousand pages of homestuck and come away thinking "actually men are the real victims" "

3. "i cannot imagine it has anything to do with misogyny or transphobia, internalized or otherwise. that would be ridiculous"

-Three tweets from Sarah Zedig from thirty november 2019 (remember that shes the one who wrote Terezi pesterquest route)

Im sorry if I sound mad or heated up this blog is one of the few places where it seems that people have common sense and also people on the community tend to usually not talk about the other people that are just as responsible as Kate is for the awful things that post canon brought to Homestuck and how tiring it is to hear people trying to make Vriska into an angel and try to make Tavros looks like hes an horrible person who doesnt deserve sympathy and deserves to be blamed and harassed.

This bitch would unironically agree with Kate Mitchell. Ever since Pesterquest, people have taken it too seriously as canon despite it's similar to HS2/Beyond Canon that it is dubious or locked out from the main story. Most of the members in the WhatPumpkin team are full of bad influencers. Some worse than others. I want more to acknowledge that there are some shitty people within the group.

[sapphyreopal5]

Here is my 2 cents on the subject , i really dont believe that they will ever get divorce , the only way I see this happening if she decides to leave and find someone who can actually pretend to love her but we all know she is too desperate to let him go, as for Jensen he got with her when she was at the peak of her trashiness her bitchy attitude, fighting with fans, naked in the movies , explicit sex scenes, her anger issues ( I actually believe the story that she nearly assaulted him at spn sets but giving how chill and laidback he is he probably was fine with it ) her fighting fans online etc.., I still remember that anniversary post she made when she praised him for being patient I mean he must be really patient to put up with a massive bitch like her especially back in the days , anyway my point is he not only stayed by her side but proceeded to insert her and her family in all of his business, buying properites together, having multiple children ( tho I believe he was completely blindsided with twins) , so while its obvious the Jensen is tired with her and he is running out of fucks to give and he is not up to play her games anymore but he is too afraid to leave and he probably thinks he should keep it together for the sake of children and public image, I really just hope he won't become miserable and lose himself while doing so

Thank you for the ask Anon. So I see you do not agree they will get divorced. I 100% do not agree with this sentiment for multiple reasons. The things you did mention are interesting however. When it comes to the said near assault on SPN along with other physical assault stories that are floating around (ex. the scar on his nose being from her throwing something at him), it is very possible a big reason why he drinks is to cope with her abuse. I don't think he is "just fine" with her behavior at all. Honestly I don't believe you understand that: A. Men are not the only abusers in relationships, women can be too and B. How people who are being abused tend to behave, particularly when they think they have no where else to go or think they need to stay with their partners especially "for the sake of the kids" like you said. He looks and acts like someone who is being brainwashed by this type of mindset and it's doing him or their kids absolutely no favors. I don't know what you think of this but him inserting her into his businesses is very possibly the exact opposite of what people think (pulling her more out of being married, not more into being married). Putting her in as an EP at Chaos Machines and as a business partner at FBBC (which some sources say she is actually no longer a listed owner of but would like verification on this) could be increasing her net worth, and therefore make it so she gets less money for alimony if she'd get any at all. As far as why he married her at her "peak trashiness", rumor has it that Jensen was medicated the day of his wedding. Rumor has it also that he tried to walk away on his wedding day but was stopped by his dad at least if not by 1 or 2 others. It's possible people behind closed doors have also stopped him from divorcing at least up to this point when he's contemplated it. Even talking about his wedding day being one of the best days ever "not for the reasons you're thinking" and talking about it being "a great party" was very telling.

Also, it seems he is starting to consolidate all of the real estate he owns as he not only sold the Colorado house in November 2022 but also the Austin condo listed on some of the CT house deed documents that someone voluntarily on their own accord sent me a link to via PM was put up for sale about 3 days ago. Are he and his family really moving out of Texas entirely? Is he looking to expand FBBC to another location in CT (or some other business venture) and therefore needs more liquid assets? Does he need more liquid assets in his so called "divorce researching" mindset he is in? Sometimes when people start selling more real estate while married like this, spouses can get stressed out because this means they may try to spend that money and therefore that money is gone before divorce. This is of course speculation on my part. However, I can certainly say that what you perceive as him tying him to her more in this sense is sometimes the exact opposite, him tying him to her more financially in order to be freed from her.

If anyone reading this believes numerology has any significance, I also would like to point out how interesting it is that a lot of the addresses that he's been moving to and buying up since it seems things started to go downhill for Danneel and Jensen in 2018 contain the number 11. Heck, even the Colorado house stopped being listed as of 11/11/2022! In numerology, the number 11 has a lot of spiritual significance as it's said to be a master number and is said to be associated with what some call "twin souls" and soulmates (read the link for more info as to how this could apply here). Weirdly enough, when I was doing research on numerology and the number 11 this at one point showed up from a site called legalreach.com: "A Rule 11 agreement is an agreement between a divorcing couple that outlines how they will handle the divorce process and any disputes that arise. In other words, it's like a prenup for the breakup! It defines who takes what, when assets will be divided, and who gets custody of the kids." Never heard of it before but it stuck out to me while I was doing this research...

[ladylooch]

I would love to see some Emma and Lexie time

Like maybe them shopping, out to lunch, or just ranting about Timo and Nico

It’s unseasonably warm in November in New Jersey. Emma and Lexi, both pregnant, are taking advantage of the weather, and their husbands being home, by taking a walk around the neighborhood without their older children.

“I feel like fire crotch is happening so much earlier this time around.” Emma mumbles. “Like with Lio it was later, not until I was back in Switzerland.”

“I haven’t had it yet, but I fear the day it returns.” Lexi shudders. “But weird that it is happening earlier? You’re carrying her so high.”

‘You’re telling me. I cannot eat anything without getting acid reflux so bad it feels like I’m choking.” Emma huffs. “And also, I really, really miss sushi. Like Timo said they had it Vegas and I wanted to punch him in the face.” 

“Nico said the same thing! I’d rather he just didn’t tell me.” Lexi whines back to her. 

“There is part of me wants to just say fuck it. But I really don’t want the lecture from Doctor Bethany.” Both women have the same doctor this time around. Doctor Bethany delivered Lucie and was highly recommended to Emma for this pregnancy now that she will certainly be delivering in the U.S. Emma likes her, but she wishes the bitch would care less about her fast food cravings. Sometimes you just need some fries from McDonald’s.

“I can see the eyebrow raise right now.” Lexi jokes and Emma laugh heartily. “I’m so excited we are having girls together.”

“Me too! I have been going crazy on buying clothes. I can’t help it! It’s all so stinking cute. Way cuter than boy clothes.” Emma rubs her hand over her upper belly where the baby kicks. “Have you started thinking of names?”

“Yes! We still have some we considered with Luc, so it’s a shorter list than last time.”

“I feel like…” Emma trails off. “We may need to discuss names at some point.”

“What if its a Friends situation!? And you love mine!? You’re delivering first.”

“I promise I won’t take it!” Emma vows. 

“That’s what Rachel said.” Lexi laughs heartily as they head to the right to circle back home.

“I am a better friend than her.” Emma bumps Lexi’s shoulder gently. “Plus we are thinking a Swiss name to match Lee.”

“Okay, well…” Lexi sighs, biting her lip. “We are pretty confident we are going to go with Mackenzie.”

“Oh! I love it!!” Emma squeals, gripping Lexi’s forearm. “Mackenzie Hischier!” 

“Our little Mack.” Lexi muses, rubbing her hand over her bump. She leaves her hand under her belly to cup her close. “What about you?”

“Livia has been at the top of our list for the entire time.” Emma murmurs. “We have been calling her Livy since we found out she is a girl. Timo came up with it… again. He’s so good at coming up with names for our children. I have to be quick to name the next one.” 

“Maybe it is a former hook up?” Lexi jokes, knowing there is no way he would do that.

“Oh I would kill him.” Emma mumbles. “Because I am really in love with the name now! I couldn’t part with it.” 

“Livia and Mackenzie.” Lexi says after a few moments of silence. “We are already so in love with you two.” Emma wraps an arm around Lexi and they hug, bumps pressing together. “Wanna go get ice cream?”

“Yeah, let’s take my car. I’ve got my keys.” Emma giggles.

They hustle, as much as pregnant women can hustle, into Emma’s car, then head off on their pregnancy craving adventure.

[bluestonebliss]

Australia intrigues me… are there really as many deadly things there as I’ve been told? and have you ever had an unpleasant encounter with one?

Hmm, that's surprisingly hard to answer because I wouldn't say it is super dangerous, but my cousins in England strongly disagree. You always ask the long ass questions Lost, and give me the opportunity to share fun facts! :D This may end up being an essay, because far out. I apologise in advance.

There are for sure a lot of potentially dangerous things around, but it depends on where you are. I'll only be including those around my area.

Well, the first that comes to mind are Dugites.

These bastards are highly venomous, and have the potential to give a lethal bite. They aren't notoriously aggressive, but if you fuck with one around november-ish you are gambling with a higher power. These snakes pop up in semi-urban areas a fair bit, and a sub-species is found on Rotto in rather high numbers. My dad found a juvenile in someone's swimming pool once, and as a kid I was told to never play in the pig-face around our house because that would be a preferred shelter for them. Basically, don't piss it off and keep your distance and you are fine.

In terms of other snakes I was warned heavily about as a kid, tiger snakes (highly venomous) are also pretty prominent. that is known to seek shelter, even if it means braving a human to get to shelter behind them. Some say they will actively attack. So, seeing a rather large snake coming right at you could be rather upsetting. They like wetlands and, such as the river a certain someone liked to go swimming in as a kid. Warning: Tiger snakes are amazing swimmers.

We get sea snakes and death adders, but other than that you are probably fine. Actually- funny story about someone who got drunk and put a dugite in an esky, but that's a post for another day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ones I hate the most: Fucking spiders. I am not a fan. Redback spiders are evil and I wish they would all just spindle along back to hell. We get one per week in the peak of summer, including a rather large one hiding in my jacket on the coat rack last night. ALWAYS check spider-likely spots, because they will be there. They are venomous, and despite being rarely fatal, it hurts like an absolute bitch. I had a rather bad reaction to a bite once when I didn't check the shed once. I was throwing up for far longer than I would have liked. Never made that mistake again. These spiders do not deserve the mercy of a cup or paper to banish them outside, squish them on sight. Or better yet, poison them so they crawl around and suffer for a bit, but don't let it out of your sight when you spray them: they crawl shockingly far after being sprayed and have been known to give you a parting chomp if able.

My dad knew a guy who had a gear stick ball made of one of these trapped in resin. It fully deserved to be shoved in resin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One of my favourites growing up was the Blue Ringed Octopus. It was always my favourite part of going to AQWA, and used to have a plushie one! These little guys even featured on my human biology ATAR exam. :D DO NOT TOUCH!! There is no antidote for their toxin, and the only thing that will keep you alive is being put on artificial breathing until it wears off. The trick to them, though? Sometimes, you don't even know you got bit because they are so small which is highly dangerous because if you decide to go for a swim when the toxin kicks in and then your lungs just go offline. Only the size of a coin or so.

Look at him! Glorious.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stone fish aren't typically found near Perth, but cases do come up every now and then. You still get them in W.A., but its usually up north. These breathing warts of a thing have a wonderful hobby of pretending to be rocks, which means people don't see them. Upon standing on them, one of its many venom coated spines will stab you. Hot Tip! Should this ever happen to you, don't keep stepping or put pressure on it if the barb is in you. The more pressure, or the harder you step, the more venom gets pumped in. Tread carefully in the ocean, my friends. They are highly venomous, and will ruin the next 1-2 days of your life. Can you spot him? :)

To add to the stone fish, Cobblers are a type of venomous catfish that employ the same tactics found around the coast of Perth and Albany. Those barbs are very painful, but I don't believe lethal. Apparently, they are rather tasty.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In general, wild pigs in the bush are common and will attack if provoked or if they have young. Once on a trip to Queensland on the opposite coast where feral pigs are a really big issue, there was just this dude in a ute with a couple of pig carcases hanging off the back on the highway. I've got a picture of it somewhere, if I find it I'll let you know.

Kangaroos have the potential to disembowel or severely maim a human if they piss one off. We kept about six of them as rescue pets, one of whom now lives with a kangaroo called Kapow. Kapow was named after his tendency to attack. Fully grown adults are a force to fear, roughly as big as a human when standing and very strong. Just don't piss them off and you will be fine. Most of the time, they are nice little friends! These are some pics of... Belle and Digby, I believe? These were before I was born lol.

Oh, and ofc the sharks. I went to Rotto about a year ago, and we got kicked out of the water because there were sharks in the water nearby. An attack is rare, so if you swim between the flags and keep an eye on the lifeguards you will be fine.

And in some areas, we get the colloquially dubbed "Drop Bears". It's pretty intuitive, they are like koalas but they drop out of trees on top of their prey.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And, ofc because I must, the TLDR of other little nasties that aren't in W.A. but are worthy of an honourable mention:

Red-Bellied black snake- potentially lethal

Australian box jellyfish- arguably the most venomous marine animal

Irukandji jellyfish (although these occur in W.A., but nevermind)- potentially lethal if untreated

Cassowaries- human-sized birds that have claws capable of inflicting major damage, potentially lethal if provoked

Saltwater crocodiles- fun to watch, keep out of the water. My favourite is called Scar, he is good at jumping out of the water.

Sydney funnel web spider- Fatal in 15mins or so without antivenom. My grandad used to capture them and donate them to hospitals for milking to formulate the antivenom.

Inland taipan- yikes

Cone snails (found in W.A.)- "The venom from one cone snail has a hypothesized potential of killing up to 700 people"- (Kapil, Hendriksen, Cooper, 2023)

Bluebottles (found in W.A., but also everywhere here)

Tics- I know a guy who lost his leg from a tic bite, some cause paralysis

Blue-bellied black snake

Many many many more snakes. So many snakes.

Im not going to even go into the sharks

Even male platypuses have a spur capable of creating intense and pain lasting weeks that morphine doesn't treat.

[wildlife4life]

Fuck-it Friday

Tagged by: @ebdaydreamer

So this is not a new fic to me because I've been working on it for a bit, but its new to you all. Its the first fic where I've ventured into the A/B/O universe. It is also a season 2 AU after Doug comes back and attacks Chim and tries to take Maddie, but doesn't succeed. Instead Doug gets away, and Maddie and Buck run from L.A. Shannon lives bitches! But the biggest part of this story is Buck finding out he's pregnant while on the run. Surprise! We can all guess who the father is. Anyway, below is the letter that Buck sends to Eddie. But does he receive it???????

Eddie,

I am so sorry that you have to find out this way, but Maddie and I have had to toss our phones twice because of Doug. But I had to tell you.  Let me start by saying, we are safe.  I wish I could say where but you of all people know I can’t. I really thought we would be home by now, so I could tell you this in person.  But Doug is relentless and apparently has higher connections than we originally thought. So again, I’m sorry and I never intended for any of this to happen.

I’m pregnant Eddie and its yours. Maybe it’s hard to believe. I’m still having trouble believing it. But those days we spent together in November…well life came to be.

It took some thinking and a very long, eye-opening lecture from Maddie, but I know how it all happened. I wasn’t lying back then when I told you I was on birth control.  What I didn’t mention was the fact that I had started it just a few days prior to my heat. Maddie believes it may have triggered it.  We’re not entirely sure. What I did learn is that the birth control I was on is adequate at best for male omegas and the only time we can get pregnant is during a heat. My previous doctor is getting an earful when I get back. That isn’t me saying I don’t want our baby, I do.

This probably the worst time to even be pregnant, but I am so happy and excited. I’m also so so scared. I wish I was with you and the rest of the 118.  I wish Maddie and I could come home.  I really wish that dog had ripped Doug’s throat out instead of a chunk of his leg. I wish for a lot of things. But my biggest wish, is that you could be here for everything involving the pregnancy. Check-ups, ultrasounds, the little flutters of movement, hell even the vomiting (why is it called morning sickness when it happens ALL DAY). I know how much you regret missing everything with Shannon and Christopher, and I feel awful that I’m putting you through that all over again. But until Doug is no longer a threat, I must stay away to keep our baby safe. Until then Maddie and I are recording everything. I’ll try to send more later, but its risky. I’m sure you’ve already heard; Athena believes Doug’s joined up with an Alpha group that believes in harsh traditionalism and are helping him track us down.  Which includes watching our friends and family for any clue of where we are.  Hide or burn this letter.  Hide the ultra-sound and don’t say a word to anyone until we return. I’ll try to write more and send what I can.

Eddie, I am so sorry. I really am.  And I’m not expecting anything from you, but I know you want to be a part of this baby’s life.  You are the most amazing father.  Christopher is going to be the best big brother.  Maybe you wish that this child was between you and Shannon again.  I kind of wish that too…

Our baby is completely healthy, and I’ll keep doing my very best to insure they stay that way.  It’s the least I can do considering the situation. I hope everyone is doing good.  Maddie and I miss you all every day.  We really hope Doug is caught soon and we can come home. And we will come back, I really believe that. I hope you and everyone else does too.

Stay safe, give Christopher a hug for me, and again I’m so sorry.

Buck

What do you think? I'm actually kind of excited for this because have I got some twists and turns and angst and big man little baby!

Tagging (not to be pushy!): @911onabc @alyxmastershipper@elvensorceress@bekkachaos

[delicatebluebirdruins]

read the tags on a post by @weird-life-of-a-closet-fangirl hope you don't me tagging you, you just had some interesting points in your tags (also tumblr why can't i use question marks in some asks? this got so annoying today)

Mia didn't really decide as such when Eveline was another monster but the only reason Mia fought against Eveline (to the point Lucas and Marge both thought that at some point Evie was going to get tired of waiting for her) was because she knew Ethan was safe (she during a storm tried to send him a video telling him that he was right about her lying to him, to stay away from her and forget about her and have a good life) but then he wasn't because Ethan was sent an email from her account as he never got that video. And when Mia officially rejected Eveline was after the tape of Mia trying to talk to Evie and Evie going on a murderous rampage instead

so Mia was in the padded cell for 2 years from the 4th November 2015 its the file on Lucas's laptop along with the next and final entry of the email logs being Eveline getting more people kidnapped. (still want to know the act of violence from Mia that got Lucas of all people to lock her up)

Sent: Friday, November 4, 2015 2:10 AM That bitch Mia is still somewhere in between Evie-La-La Land and reality. She gets pretty violent, so I locked her up in a cell. I thought maybe Eveline would get mad since Mia’s her favorite and all, but she doesn’t seem to care. She actually goes and visits her sometimes. She thinks Mia’s her mommy. Like I said, your “bioweapon” is fucked up.

Sent: Friday, September 1, 2016 1:10 AM Eveline’s family obsession is getting out of hand. She’s making everyone kidnap more and more assholes off the street to add to her freak show of a family. Maybe she’s getting tired of Mia not coming around, but it’s a pain in the ass for me because I gotta clean up the mess whenever someone new comes along. By the way, Evie’s looking sick or something. Her skin is getting all wrinkly and she’s getting grey hairs. Is that supposed to happen? It’s almost like she’s getting old all of a sudden.

Now that I think of it I have two theories for how Evie learned of Ethan and decided that he was the key to getting Mia to accept her

1 From the start because surely she saw either video being made but didn't think about using it until later (not as likely but still a possibility)

2 personally i think in amongst the victims that were brought in to the guest house smaller scale operation there considering the needles (I have to wonder if some of those was used on Mia) and the body bags so I think that in the limited view of the room at large from Mia's cell but what you can see from the cell is the table with the list of names and pictures of victims (true the same ones you see through out the games but maybe they were the "successful" ones that they kept trying to emulate) and complacency or exhaustion on Mia's part and a victims picture on the murder board and a voice begging for mercy sounding a little to close for comfort makes that wall she probably placed around thoughts of Ethan come crumbling down and someone was around to take note of how important Ethan was to Mia and everything goes as normal

now as for Village I really wish capcom kept her with the wheelchair or gave her a cane (for this reason and additional moment of offness for Ethan to notice but is too tired to focus on the RE3R was great in showing Jill's mental state and how she partially missed the city going to hell) because in the cutscene where we find Mia https://youtu.be/NkavqZJywp4 (also quick question with the village being blasted surely leaving someone underground would not be a good idea? like with air vents and exits?) look how she moves when coming out of the cell (screenshots for my own reference) it could be because she knows about Miranda's ability to shapeshifting but the second screenshot looks like she is using the box for support and checking on her leg before coming after Chris (has anyone done a freecam thing for this bit?)

Mia as a whole there is a lot to cover and I hope RE9 is about her (if not I'm going to be very annoying) taking down the connections from the inside as Mia is one of the few people we know who worked for them who is also still alive Alan? dead, Lucas? dead, Miranda? Dead. with a small playable section with Jill (character interaction i think would be fun to see) and Rose (she getting her own kind of justice for Evie)