#its still so trippy
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ain't no way brave enough by lindsey stirling and prayers for the damned/blessed were all released in the same year
#like#holy crap i see brave enough as like rlly old and pftd/b as rlly new#but theyre all ROUGHLY THE SAME AGE#its bc i listened to them at different times#listened to brave enough in like 4th 5th 6th grade#and discovered sixx:a.m. fairly recently#its still so trippy#i was in first or second grade at that time#sixx:a.m.#prayers for the damned#prayers for the blessed#lindsey stirling#brave enough
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thinking about how ivypool thought dovewing got favoritism from the clan growing up and continued to enforce the idea that dove was an entitled bitch, and then she participated when the clan was manipulating and guilt tripping dovewing into a relationship with an entitled creep who didnt respect her, telling her she owed him affection
#‘’my sister gets so much special treatment!! anyways my clanmates are bullying her into an unhappy relationship i better get in on that’m#idea here but what if ivypool was regarded as like a hero for spying on the dark forest and is seen as a respectable warrior now#(like ffs shes getting considered for deputy)#but dovewing is now the one getting ostracized and tossed aside now that shes not ‘’useful’’ and she didnt ‘risk her life’#and now ivy has it all but she still insists on punishing dovewing for what happened when they were kids#because shes solidified the idea of dove as a whiny entitled spoiled brat who cries to get what she wants#and she absolutely refuses to change that view of her bc she wont let go of her spite#so shes controlling to dove and gets really guilt trippy when dove dares call her out on it#ok im trying not to seem like an ivypool hate blog. im not i think shes interesting and i think her being bitter is fine#my opinion of her has certainly soured over the years (and admittedly bc of the fandom)#also all this talk isnt ‘’omg this is canon this is why she SUCKS!!!!’’ its more ‘’this is probably how id go about it in my rewrite
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sometimes i see posts thatre like, talking about something important and should be talked about, but then it has an addition thats like "oh this has SO FEW notes, NOBODY cares about this topic, everyone wants to IGNORE this IMPORTANT thing" and then i check the difference between the original post time of that addition and its like. 2 hours. and it currently has tens of thousands of notes. like bro you barely even gave it any time to cook before complainin no ones eatin...
#a little pet peeve of mine that i see on posts every so often#and the time difference on this one was just like. especially egregious#but like. i dont wanna comment about any particular post specifically when it happens bc they ARE bringing up important topics#but its still just so like. bro. not all posts about something important are gonna take off. esp not in such little time#slow your roll a little#but i dont wanna make it seem like im dismissing or criticizing what theyre saying#but it still bugs me. it def has guilt trippy ''give me notes already or youre being a bad person'' vibes. but less direct than other ways
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i keep constructing elaborate political speeches in my mind. as if somehow if i could just talk to pvv-voters compellingly enough, explain to all of em why this is moronic on every level, they'd all suddenly find out that they're actually leftists at heart who just heard a few facts wrong
#as if the racism is an accident instead of the driving force#i spent too long looking at twitter replies and there are a lot of people who voted for wilders so obviously a lot of different types too#theres the naive ones who genuinely seem to regard politics as kind of a game thats being played to the sidelines#you cheer for your team but it doesn't ACTUALLY have an effect on reality. So stop complaining! cheer up!#theres the dumb ones who 'just wanted something different' and who thought 'well the Left screwed things up'#- weve had a centrist/right government for over a decade -#'so lets try the right ¯\_(ツ)_/¯'#and then theres just the unapologetically islamophobic who DEFINITELY are NOT racist~#they júst want all brown people to go back to 'their own' country#and if you call thát racist! well then! you are protecting the fundamental rights of muslims right to religion so obviously you also suppor#extremist governments in the middle east! and those are also discriminatory! which somehow makes the pvv nót discriminatory even though#they're drawing a direct comparison between themselves and these extremist governments! so there!#... anyways#very very very minor point but this also once again strengthens my resolve to not reblog or dive into every terrible news story from#usamerican politics despite how guilt-trippy posts about them get;#cause the only people on tumblr ive seen reblog aaanything at all about these results are dutch themselves#ik its not like we have a similar influence to the entire usa at all. but neither does random kentucky county elected official number 9 and#i still hear about them all the time#it makes sense for the circles im in dont get me wrong. just annoying.#joos yaps#delete later
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i can hear billie eilish singing bad guy from here lmao living next to a music festival is strange sometimes
#its so louddd like the place shes playing is actually not even next to my house but its still loud asf to the point where i can hear her#which makes me wonder if the audience who r next to the stage are going deaf bc what the fuck#earlier on imagine dragons was playing and it was so clear it was trippy . but tbf that stage is much closer to my house so its less weird#anyway i can hear the audience ...it sounds like they r having a good time#theyre singing so loud
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SPACE BUNKER GANG IN THE MAIN EPISODE HELLO??? I LOVE THEM???
#SO MUCH PLOT HAPPENING AAAAAAA#its also extremely trippy to listen to them talk when they still sound like theyre reading off stuff even when i *know* they arent#hello from the future interlude s2#magytavyblogging#mrrow
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i remember when i was little n they said imma be a heart breaker when i grow up. yA whatever that means i was like 11 n i just was so scared bc that didnt sound nice at all but it was a compliment right whatever but it scared the fuck outta me i just froze i knew that word was chaos n what they didnt tell me, that means you get your heart broken too
#run on sentences<3#hailieshapedbox#dharmadirtbags#jack kerouac#idk my friend said i write like him#wonder if i still have that book she gave me or if my ex threw it out with half my belongings#wish all the cool people stayed around#at least now im not keeping round the bad#that means i have even less friends/acquaintances though#its cool though i got hella new art going#so much art all day long#with my family of artists#this a diary huh#idk#who else am i gonna tell#life#love#trippy#drugs#smoke#weed#marijuana#cannabis#420#710#stoner#hippie#blunts#joint#wrote this at 11:11<3
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RAVEENA MY BELOVED
#i love this woman with all my heart#her music is singlehandedly upholding my life#she IS the queer southeast asian rep we need#also trippy r&b??#goes crazy#my art#digital art#made with photoshop#just had to draw her#I love her live shows#her outfits and the stage design its so-#ahhhhhh#raveena#raveena aroura#fanart#asha's awakening#as usually i'm still working on my style of coloring and all that#starting to figure out what I like :)
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my host got rid of a bunch of my stuff while i was dormant and its so jarring i dont have those things anymore. nearly all my comics collection was given away or is stored at my parents’ house so i dont have it with me. its not his fault, he didnt know i was still here and unchanged, he thought he was the same individual who had just changed his tastes a lot over time because that was the only explanation he could find. but i miss my Stuff. we just had another big (positive) life change and i just wish i had my things with me.
#my all-new x-men + iceman+ classic 60s comics + darth maul + lando comics are all just… gone?#idk what happened to a lot of my captain am*rica comics too i hope theyre just stored at my parents’ and not just given away#at least i still have all my art stuff and other books. and they found one of my old cds while unpacking too so its not like all my shit is#gone. its just really weird and trippy and kinda distressing that this collection i really enjoyed and worked on building up over time got#discarded because no one knew i existed#personal#at least i know where those comics went. they went to an old friend from high school#so im fine with that. im just. its kinda sad is all#its not as big a deal as ya know. losing most of my friends and career ambitions. but its still definitely something#that just makes it all sink in. lol
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I was thinking about this before I want to bed last night so I have no idea if it's anything, but do you think the fact Arakawa (allegedly) was still seeing women for (at least) more than half the time they knew each other would've made it harder for Jo to label whatever they had going on...
Like I don't know if he would've been bothered (or allowed himself to let it on if he was), but crossroads of imperfect communication, only being in one relationship prior, being somewhat old-fashioned, and knowing Arakawa met Akane through an "affair"... no idea where I'm going with this but makes me wonder...
it's a fair thought to have in this (alleged) timeline me thinks
jo wholly doesn't really have experience with other people, whether that's platonically, romantically, or whatever demon lies in-between those. i dont think he wouldve been explicitly bothered- not bothered in a way he'd be ready to acknowledge. just that weird feeling you get when something's off but you can't place it (or rather you don't really want to)
#snap chats#forgive my nine hour late respose i was writing for my life#but it's like. when you KNOW something makes sense and there's not /real/ reason why you should object to it#but you still feel Off right#in this Alleged timeline jo and arakawa dont have something concrete/established#so if arakawa wants to 'explore his options' so to speak then jo doesnt have a reason to be upset right#oh man i forgot a point i was going to say FUCK#gimme like. ten minutes my eyebags feel like LVs rn#godi just have to spit ball what i mean bear with me#its not that jo would ever feel entitled to arakawa's time or attention no of course not thats not his thing#its an involuntary feeling- like when youve been neglected for so long so when Someone spares you SOME kindness#its an accidental attachment thing yk what i mean#thats where that Off feeling coems in see theyre connected i Think im making sense <- i havent connected shit#like jo's not Wholly motivated by companionship thats the trippy part#Accidental Attachment im telling you bro thats what it is......#i do know what youre cookin. i do see and smell it in the kitchen#oh god i shouldnt talk bout food rn i didnt eat yesterday BUT I CAN TODAY#i got a date with a whole can of spam and chicken breast later yes SIRRR....
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#no one is required to answer my texts in the group chat but twice now ive said smth abt being freaked out bc of a thing that happened#at work today and twice now people have just kept having a conversation around me and idk. itd be nice if someone was even like sorry that#happened.#no ones even acknowledging it#im trying so hard not to get guilt trippy bc its not my friends responsibility to coddle me#but it still hurts that im upset and no one seems to care
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so august 2018 is when my peak being-crazy-made art craziness happened, huh
#and then as soon as i left that situation all of my art became normal again lmao#i went from drawing weird cryptic things that quite literally would only ever make sense to me#to just. drawin landscape stuff like normal again sdhvfdvghsd#i mean there a couple cryptic things here n there after but like. not nearly as cryptic at all. like you could p much easily make out what#is trying to be conveyed. the other shit is like. nothing. you couldn't understand unless I had to explain everything that happened#gotta say guys doing shrooms and being abused do not mix well at all#bc when im not being abused and im on shrooms shit is great. im feeling lit. all i wanna do is draw nature stuff#but that moment in my life? phew...#vent#i literally thought I died. like i literally thought I wasn't actually alive and I was in some mirror version of earth that was the#underworld-- so much happened. its kind of distressing to think about all the weird fucking visions i got#and its not even like it was always like that when I did shrooms with that person- initially in the love-bombing phase I was fine.#all of my art from then looks pretty fuckin normal save for ig more colorful stuff and trippy patterns or whatever. but otherwise fine#if anything it enhanced my art#its only after the gaslighting and the putting me down and the withdrawing love shit started happening that i just like. snapped.#idek. it was all so surprising to me because they really did convince me they loved me.#not only all of that abuse-- also the enabling my conspiracy theory brain too which didn't help#which ironically my art didn't have much do to with actual conspiracy theories but the mindset was implemented in to me so#there was a lot of weird delusions and paranoia and just like. stuff that didn't make sense but also did if I explained it?? idek#there was like a consistent story to my weird visions but it didn't make sense also. like there was no real reason for things to be what#they were or look the way they did or whatever#but there Was a consistent story still#its something i *want* to encapsulate into maybe a comic or picture book or something but like. idek if i could encapsulate it all#theres so many bits and pieces that idek if i could fully convey- idk#dawg even my stuff from after my couple of 'acid' trips wasn't as confusing and cryptic as the stuff after being abused#one common theme in a lot of it is its intentionally repelling. every part of my being knew I needed to be away from that person in spite#of how they would pretend to be friendly with me so some of that art is trying to scare them away in a weird cryptic way that tbfh#they probably didn't understand either whenever a pic was trying to do that like what it even was trying to say- thats kinda how fucking#crazy i got from that whole situation. i think part of me felt like that at least if it was vague and unhinged that it would scare them#away idrk. i do think it worked lol. even if it doesnt really fully make sense at all. idk. but 0/10 one of the worst periods of my life
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finally IDed the bird ive been hearing every other night as a Western Screech Owl! I have yet to see them, but I hear them echo in the woods!!
#im so used to the great horned owl so a new owl sound is so exciting#its still a little trippy that owls are just like.. in my backyard?? it feels like meeting a celebrity.#holy shit... an owl like from scooby doo intro?? im such a big fan...#diary
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Everytime I listen to this song I literally feel like I'm on ecstasy. The human brain is wild
#we always listened to this song when we took e because the mv was trippy and now I can have a little trip as a treat just by listening to it#it seems like bullshit but i really do feel something its so weird#like 99% less then when you actually take e but still. something !!#Spotify
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yannow, it occurs to me that I'm actually in an art server that I've never really posted in, largely bc a lot of people that I don't already know make me kind of antsy. I could probably ask for help wrt setting up a carrd and arranging a decent TOS for my work, or even find out the status of some of the brushes I use on Krita that I am uncertain as to the origins of (apparently some brushes cannot be used in commercial work, but I feel like it's harder to prove about a brush that isn't a direct stamp of copyrighted material than it is for, say, a font type; also I feel like that applies more for the brush itself and its distribution/modification). all I gotta do is, u know, actually Ask Them. which is a Problem, for me at least.
hh.
#I could even maybe advertise in there........#u know. once my shit is sorted#there's also another artist I follow who advertises a similar server; that I've yet to join for similar reasons wrt to posting#as in the first one... I'm kind of a mess aren't I?#part of my issue is that a lot of things I want are limited-time-only engagements#get it now before its gone (one person even uses really guilt-trippy language about it being ''gone forever'' and while I'm sure it's not-#malicious in intent; it still causes me to be panicky and upset; especially bc I missed out on their last thing I really wanted#so the more pressed for time I feel; the more flighty and panicked I get; and the less productive I actually am#I have too many things I need to do; not just art things; and so I cannot do any of them in the end
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why do they always make movies with "modern" paganism so extreme :,)
#ik its for dramatization and the horror vibe#but its still not necessary just worldbuild a religion for that 🥹#anywah this movie is so trippy im gonna have nightmares#its rlly good tho#🐙🫐#🍃💭
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