#its weird having this many tags to write

[skitskatdacat63]

Fernando Alonso & His Relationship With Cards

I'm sure we're all familar with the cards on the back of Fernando's Vegas GP helmet by now, but did you know his relationship with cards goes a lot deeper?

I. Magic Tricks

You've probably seen or heard someone at least mention Fernando's propensity for card tricks. As far as I can tell he was doing them(publically) as far back as 2003 all the way to as recently as 2018. Even once performing a card trick, with a condom and a teddy bear(!??!?!??!!), in front of Valentino Rossi who said "How was that possible?"(x)

But how did this start? According to James Allen, "Fernando admits to having been heavily influenced by his grandfather, a mercurial figure, who taught him magic and card tricks, still one of his passions away from the race track."(x) And I'm not sure the validity of this one, because I couldn't find an actual source, but apparently he once said: "My parents are responsible for the two things I like doing most - driving and magic tricks. They bought me my first go-kart and a magician's kit."

In several interviews he described it as his hobby off track, and that he loved learning new tricks and surprising others in the garage with them! So clearly cards are pretty important to him both as a hobby but also to who he is as a person since they've been with him just as long as racing has.

II. Card Symbolism in His Helmets

This is the reason I originally made this post, but I thought I should also explain the origins of his card fascination first. As I said, we probably all remember the cards on the back of his helmet in Vegas, but did you know that wasn't the first time he had cards on the back of his helmet?

From 2008-2013, he used to have a pair of cards on the back of his helmets. The symbolisms of the cards themselves as well as the evolution of their design is really fascinating to me! Even more so with the recent development of the card choice in 2023.

Fernando said he wanted to reference his two titles in some way on the back of his helmet and after his friend sent him several ideas, he decided on having two cards(an ace of clubs and an ace of hearts, sometimes pictured with 05 and 06 on them as well), saying: "I picked the cloverleaf [the ace of clubs - Ed] to give me luck, but the only pity is that it doesn't have four leaves!"(X)

2008.

Here's the very first appearance of the cards! They're displayed flat, with the 05 and 06 clearly visible

2009.

Very similar to 2008, but with a slightly different design, and they're maybe a bit more straight with less shadow?

2010.

This is the first major change! I was sad they didn't have the years on them anymore, but then I realized they're sparkly to match with his signature lightning bolts on the top of the helmet!!

2011.

Honestly I'm still somewhat unsure if this is the actual 2011 helmet? It's pretty difficult to find clear photos of the back of helmets from older seasons. It's easiest to find them on replica sites or auction sites so I'm not 100%? But anyways, I like that this has the championship years on the underside of the cards

2012.

This is when I started getting weirdly emotional about the helmets. Do you see how they've progressed from being a centerpoint to being curled up and sad at the bottom of the helmet? Not listing the year anymore??

2013.

Same thoughts as 2012. And after this season, they cease to exist (just like his ferrari chair in the garage, WOAH CALLBACK), until cards make a reeappearance in his Vegas helmet, albeit in a different form

2013 Monaco(Honorable Mention):

For some reason 2013 helmets were easier to find proper pictures of, so I happened to witness this absolute beauty. The creativity of this helmet genuinely blows me away??? Wanting to keep the card motif, but making sure to incorporate it into the rest of the puzzle piece design?? Mwah! There was another special 2013 helmet but they didn't change the cards at all so I really applaud this one

2023 Las Vegas(The Return of The King):

The magnificent return! But look! The cards are different cards! Instead of being two aces, it's now an ace of hearts, a four of hearts(his driver number of course!) and, the, now iconic, representation of himself as a Joker. I literally could not believe my eyes when this helmet was released and I saw the Joker card, what a fucking silly old man....I really wonder if he felt nostalgic having cards on his helmet again or if he didn't think about it all and was just like, "ah cards because Vegas!!!"

III. Why Does This Matter?

*The rest of the post was factual, this is moreso my personal thoughts on the symbolism of the cards/designs

This post spawned from me recently watching the 2010 Bahrain gp and noticing "hey wait a minute...are those CARDS ON THE BACK OF HIS HELMET!?" It's a really tiny detail that's unfortunately covered up by the HANS device pretty much whenever he's wearing the helmet, so it's really difficult to spot! But I became fascinated with the fact that he had cards on his helmet before that recent helmet, and now here we are!

There's something to me about how the design of the cards evolves over the course of six seasons from the cards being front and center to being smaller, more folded up and closer to the bottom of the helmet. As I said, the 2012-2013 ones genuinely made me depressed because it feels, symbolically, like his hopes for getting another Ace are becoming more and more unlikely and falling away until they eventually fall falt and fade away entirely after 2013 and disappear for basically a decade.

But when they return? They're not the same cards! Instead of representing Fernando's championships, they now represent him as a person, displaying his driver number and his persona of being a Joker!! Though I do think it's interesting he happened to keep the Ace of Hearts, even though he talked more about the Ace of Clubs before. I'm not sure it's actually this deep in reality, but I like to think that it's him not letting his championships(and the lack thereof) define him, but rather letting who he is as a person shine and be the centerpoint instead! But on a sadder note, as @suzuki-ecstar said to me, maybe the Aces aren't there anymore because he's lost all hope for a chance at a third Ace entirely :(

[right-there-ride-on]

Gyjo in the fandom

cw: light discussion of ableism

Gyjo… what am I thinking about gyjo…

I like them. I like them a lot, actually. They have paralleled narrative arcs, they complement each other nicely, the romantic subtext is incredibly obvious to the point that even the most homophobic fan you know will admit they understand why people ship it… so why do I also have a problem with it?

There’s a lot of good fanart. Hell, I’ve reblogged plenty. Maybe it’s just something that’s more pronounced in fic.

I’m trying to word this correctly. My issue with gyjo has nothing to do with the text itself. I think my problem is just how people portray it in the fandom.

Maybe it’s because it’s so popular, or maybe it’s the sheer prominence of applying ‘Character A’ and ‘Character B’ dynamics without considerable regard for the characters involved, but I feel gyjo is very prone to flanderization. I believe the intersection with how ableist people are toward Johnny (intentionally or not, subtly or not) and the old tropes these two get shoved into makes it so I have trouble enjoying fics in the fandom.

I’m not saying it’s bad to enjoy certain tropes. I’m not saying headcanons are bad either. What I am saying is that writing is hard, but if you’re going to write fanfiction please have consideration for the characters you’re writing. The arcs of these two are complex and multilayered, which is why I think they have such staying power, but I also think they also provide a good opportunity for us as writers and artists to examine our biases when it comes to the portrayal of certain groups, personality types, mental illnesses, queerness, disability, etc. and maybe come out better people for it.

[metaforth]

Edit: Adding a note because I'm noticing the correction by @crypticsposting isn't being included in reposts, I'm aware Wes Craven wasn't a writer on the NOEM reboot. He was credited despite having no direct involvement in the film. It was written by Wesley Strick and Eric Heisserer. It doesn't really effect my point so I'm not gonna go back and edit the entire post but I'm just noting here now, I know about the mistake.

BAD PEOPLE CAN BE CREEPS.

People on this hellsite seem to forget this very often when it comes to fictional characters but a villain being a creep doesn't mean the writer is pro-creeps. Infact, the fact they made the villain a creep implies quite the opposite.

Like back when that Nightmare in Elmstreet reboot that everyone hated (and that I think was actually pretty good) came out and turned the subtext of Freddy being a pedophile into domtext some people acted like that meant Wes Craven is a creepy weirdo? Because he decided that the horrible man who murdered kids is also a horrible man who touched kids? No one claimed that him making the original movies means he's pro-child murder. Why does him making Krüger, the exact same character, a pedo (or at least making it much more clear he's a pedo) mean Craven is a pedo?

The cognitive dissonance is so strange.

And to be clear, whether it makes Craven a creep and whether it's a good decision are separate issues. I personally don't mind the change but I understand why people find it unnecessary and a'little weird. It fits the darker and more serious tone of the film but that doesn't mean you have to like the decision. But, whether or not you do, I don't feel it reflects on Wes Craven as a person.

Now admittedly, the people saying that choice makes Craven creepy were a very small but vocal lot. I'm saying this because that sentiment is one I see a lot, especially on this site. That anytime a writer makes a character do a thing, that means the writer support whatever that thing is, even though obviously that's not generally true. I don't think George Lucas is pro-planet-explodination after all.

Just a very strange trend that makes me really hate the writing discourse this site sometimes.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

choosing violence 10 + 16 + 22 !!!! >:333

ok u didnt specify a fandom but im just gonna do this for pd because its front and center in my mind !!!!!! oh boy i cant wait to be crucified for my opinions

10. worst part of fanon

this is a problem with every jrwi campaign and also like. most . other fandoms to be real. but it seems like my favorite characters are always the ones that get the worst of the mischaracterization beam -_- i cant tell you HOW MANY fics ive opened bc the premise sounds cool only to IMMEDIATELY close it due to "he would not fucking say that" this isnt pd but if i have to read one more fic that infantilizes gillion for not understanding Land Things im going to blow up. hes stupid sometimes yeah! but hes not ignorant and hes not a baby hes like. literally the oldest one on the crew even if its only by a year or two. head in hands

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

ok im gonna get burnt at the stake for this one but i personally dont really see the appeal of tfem ashe... like i see the appeal yeah of course i do i just dont get why people are so like... weirdly forceful and passive aggressive about it? also this is totally a personal thing no hate to anyone that does this but its kind of a peeve of mine when ppl write analysis posts ans use their headcanon pronouns like.... if u are going to talk about and analyze canon then talk about canon !!!! i cant tell u how many good ashe posts ive skipped over bc im like. we are talking about different characters here .. respect to ashe tfemers and everything but its not for me

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

THERE IS A DISTURBING LACK OF CLARENCE ALBERT FAN CONTENT. WHY ARE PEOPLE NOT MORE INSNAE ABOUT CLARENCE ALBERT. HELLO???? am i the only person that feels this way . can anyone hear me its so fucking dark in here. every day i just want to read a fic about clarence albert and i am met with this

and neither of them are . interesting to me. hell on earth. bizly PLEASE give me more clarence lore in season 3 im fucking starving.

[samarecharm]

If i start posting dc stuff on here, it means i lost the fight w myself. The demons won. Im sorry

[foccaccia]

does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians

[the-clay-quarters]

me, every time I make a pair/group of ocs: I'll be normal about them this time I swear

shipping brainrot: :)

me: dangit yeah they'd be cute wouldn't they

[im-still-a-robot]

Free to use!

Happy Valentine's day! Year 4 of doing these, and while this year was a little stressful, it was still very fun. Hope you all enjoy!

Links to stuffed animals (+ an extra!) in reblogs

[get-more-bald]

the biggest thing about X6 is not that he doesn't think of himself as human (though he doesn't, and according to some it's correct) BUT that he doesn't see himself as a Person

[asthe-crow-flies]

naturalness/unnaturalness in Lolina: Origins by R L Hughes

i could write a whole essay about this, but its almost finals, so this is what you're getting

[todayisafridaynight]

minedai yaoi could heal me

[heirtotheempire]

The world always needs more Thrawn angst. As in angst to other people caused by Thrawn. Hurt no comfort everybody dies. I wanna see him at his worst

[pyrriax]

hi tumblr im pyrr pyrriax and im in my trimonthly artist arc, lord help me and all the projects that are currently sitting in my drafts while i am lured in by the siren song of drawing

[desperatecheesecubes]

Every time I see a post making fun of people being afraid to get into comics I think about how when I was first getting into comics I thought it would be fun to read Infinite Crisis because it was a HUGE event and it would give me an idea of what a whole slew of runs and characters were like. I made a post about some panel pretty early into the event (I think it was a build up comic that wasn't even officially part of the Road To Infinite Crisis so EARLY early) and some blog I didn't know made fun of me for not knowing the greater context of the panel I was commenting on. And while I was naively typing up a quick little 'ah sorry I'm new to comics and didn't know that. Thanks for the context!' they had gone through my blog and started doing the same for a bunch of other comics I'd read, and then mocked me for reading IC when I clearly new so little about comics.

Now, obviously, that behavior is ridiculous, and I just blocked them, but it did stick with me. It was one of my earliest interactions with comic fandom and I never forgot it. Most of the people I've intereacted with have been lovely. Even when I have gotten comic cannon wrong corrections are normally very kind. But not all of them are, and the ones who aren't are so vocal about it.

So i actually don't think it's the comics themselves that make getting into comics an unappealing prospect.

[ball-of-butter]

victoria aveyard about to receive the biggest sideye from me…

[haledamage]

A cure I know that soothes the soul

started as a prompt fill for @queen-scribbles for the prompt “a kiss on the corner of the mouth, hoping for more but expecting nothing”, but it went completely off of the rails and onto the dining table so I decided to post it separately even though it technically fits the prompt. the new prompt fill is proving to be just as lengthy but not quite as smutty. also tagging @agentnatesewell since you asked me to 💖

Kira/Nate, almost 3400 words, sometime vaguely near the end or just after book 3, at the very least after they’ve both confessed how they feel. nsfw, due to explicit sexual situations and also due to improper use of antique furniture

---

Kira awoke with a gasp, fear and adrenaline continuing to race through her even as the remnants of her dream fell away and she started to recognise her surroundings.

She was in her bedroom at the Warehouse. 

Safe. 

Alone. 

It was still well before sunrise, no light creeping in around the edges of her thick, dark curtains.

The details of the dream were already fading by the time she sat up in bed, but the fear lingered, raking sharp claws down her spine. With it came the prickly feeling of being watched, no matter how many times she glanced at the room’s shadowed corners to assure herself no one was there.

The unease still didn’t fade as she untangled the blankets from around her legs. Or when she found her phone, knocked from the nightstand to the floor at some point in the night (it cheerfully announced the time to be 3:35AM). Or after slipping into the en suite to splash some water on her face at the sink. 

Out of ideas, Kira crept out into the hall, moving as quietly as possible in the direction of the kitchen and, hopefully, a cup of tea to help calm her nerves.

She slowed her approach when she saw the light already on, hesitating in the hall. 

Maybe the library would be a better choice. She was still too on edge to be good company right now, and she didn’t want to unload her baggage onto whichever unsuspecting vampire had beaten her here.

As if summoned by her decision to sneak away, Nate’s face appeared in the kitchen doorway.

“Kira?” He gave her a surprised but welcoming smile. “Is everything all right?”

Some of her anxiety faded at the sound of his voice, enough for her to manage a small smile in return. “I’m fine,” she said reflexively. She took a deep breath and tried again, the truth this time. “I had a bad dream, that’s all. Just trying to clear my head.”

His brow furrowed with a worried frown, and he took a step toward her before stopping, uncertainty overtaking his concern as he pulled back. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She shook her head, but closed some of the distance between them, a silent offer to meet him halfway. “I don’t actually remember it. I just remember… something watching me. Or chasing me?” She shook her head again, crossing her arms to stifle a shudder. “I can’t seem to shake it off.”

Nate moved closer, though he still stopped a little outside arm’s reach and held out a hand. Making it clear that he was leaving the decision up to her; proving that he’d been listening. 

“Come here, ya rouhi,” he whispered, a request, almost a plea.

Kira didn’t need to be asked twice. She crossed what space still remained immediately, bypassing the extended hand to instead wrap her arms around him. With a chuckle tinged with relief, Nate returned the hug, and she melted into the warmth of his embrace.

“What can I do?” he asked, kissing the top of her head, her temple, her cheek. “What do you need?”

“Just you, love.”

They stood there like that for a long time, the hallway quiet and dark except for the light peeking through the kitchen doorway. Slowly, Kira’s heart rate returned to normal, the prickly uneasy feeling fading enough that she could ignore it.

Eventually, Nate pulled away, just enough to see her face. He brushed her hair out of her eyes before settling his hand against her cheek. “Feel better?”

“Much better.” She let her eyes drift closed as she leaned into his touch. “Thank you.”

“Trust me, it’s my pleasure.” He leaned down to press a gentle kiss to her lips. “You should get some more sleep.”

It wasn’t a question, but it felt like one. He was leaving the choice in her hands whether she went back to bed or stayed there with him.

It was the easiest choice she’d had to make in months. “Can I stay here for a while? I don’t want to be alone right now.”

There was a brief, weighty pause. And then Nate’s body language changed, his touch shifting from comforting to purposeful, his hand sliding from her cheek down to her neck. His thumb slowly caressed the edge of her jaw, gentle, unhurried, maddening.

His voice changed too, dropping lower into something sultry and sinful. “Perhaps we just need to get your mind off of it.”

“Oh?” Kira tried to feign innocence, but the flush spreading over her face gave her away. “And how do you intend to do that?”

His lips brushed her cheek, just at the corner of her mouth, pulling back as she turned her head to try and kiss him properly. “I could make you some tea.”

“Tea. Of course. That sounds…” she licked her lips, fighting not to smile as his eyes darkened in response, “soothing.”

He repeated the motion on her other cheek, lips barely brushing her skin. “Or we could find you a book to read.” 

She threaded her fingers into his hair and leaned up on tip-toe to close some of the height difference. “Sure. Reading can certainly be a… stimulating distraction.”

His arm tightened around her waist, helping her balance while also pressing their bodies flush together. “Or…”

Kira didn’t know if Nate intended to finish that sentence, but she didn’t wait to find out. “Nate,” she whispered against his lips. “Give me something else to think about.”

The words were barely out of her mouth before he was kissing her, slow and intense and already with an edge of urgency. Like he was starving for it, for her, like with each press and drag of his lips he was trying to make up for every minute he’d spent not kissing her--including the three hundred years before they’d met.

She opened for him eagerly, meeting his hunger with her own, swallowing his groan as the kiss deepened. They stumbled in the vague direction of the kitchen, both of them unwilling to untangle enough to watch where they’re going. They missed the doorway, but Nate’s back hit the wall next to it and that was good enough.

Kira dragged her mouth away from his to trail kisses down his neck instead. Her fingers were clumsy on the buttons of his shirt, too much need and not enough grace. “Maybe we should take this somewhere more private. In case the others wake up.”

In an unexpected display of impatience, he took over the task of unbuttoning his shirt, getting it undone and open in a flash of superhuman dexterity. He breathed out a gratified moan when her hands grazed his bare skin. 

Task completed, one of his hands tangled in her hair, guiding her lips back to his, though he continued to try to speak between kisses. “They are all out on patrol. They won’t be back for hours.”

“Okay--” Kira started to reply, but her words were lost in a yelp as she was suddenly lifted from the ground. Her legs wrapped automatically around his waist without waiting for any input from her brain--which was good, because it appeared to have short-circuited entirely.

Nate looked up at her with a pleased grin that would’ve looked cocky on anyone else. “But perhaps it would be best to have a door between us and them. Just in case.”

She just nodded, not trusting her voice, clinging to his shoulders a little harder than necessary.

His grin sharpened to a sultry smirk. “Is something wrong, Kira?”

“Nope,” she answered, too quickly, blush darkening her face from the reminder that he could read her reaction so easily. “I knew you were strong, I just hadn’t considered what… other applications that could have.”

That wasn’t true, and they both knew it.

“And now?”

“Now, I’m considering. Intently.” Her hands found their way inside his open shirt again, exploring every inch of skin they could reach.

They didn’t do much better watching where they were going this time either, too wrapped up in each other, but somehow managed not to trip over anything. Nate carried her effortlessly, holding her with only one arm as he closed the kitchen door behind them with the other. It was still far from “private,” but Kira was having trouble caring about much beyond the lips on her skin and the arms around her and the hard length she could feel pressed between her thighs.

Eventually, they made it to Nate’s intended destination, and Kira let out a breathless laugh as he set her down carefully on the dining table. “You’ve been thinking about this since that comment I made at Tina’s, haven’t you?”

“Oh, my sweet Kira…” the way he said her name made her shiver; so did the look in his eyes, “I’ve been thinking about this since I bought the table.”

Her eyes slammed shut as that knowledge hit its target, along with all the implications that came with it. “Fuck.”

For once, Nate didn’t wince at her swearing. He just chuckled, low and smooth and clearly very pleased with himself.

Since his arms were now unoccupied, his hands instead found their way under her shirt, skimming purposefully up her sides and over her ribs, rucking the fabric up as he went. “Perhaps I should tell you the thoughts I’ve had about the sofas in the library as well.”

Tempting as it was, she shook that thought off--though she had no doubt she would remember this next time she had research to do. “I’d like that. Later.” She pressed her palm to the front of his jeans, dragging her hand over the hard swell of his cock. “Right now, I’d rather you just fuck me.”

Nate’s head fell back, eyes fluttering closed, jaw clenching around the low rumble of a growl that Kira could feel more than hear. He stayed that way, seemingly lost in sensation for the moment, barely moving beyond the restless stuttering of his hips as she mapped the shape of him through the thick denim.

“You are so bloody beautiful like this,” she murmured, releasing him just long enough to undo his belt and pull down his zipper so she could free him from his jeans. “I would almost think I’m still dreaming, but my dreams are never this lovely.”

He shushed her, pressing his thumb to her lips, the rest of his hand curling almost possessively around the curve of her jaw. “No more talk about dreams. We’re here to--” a sharp gasp escaped him as she took him in hand, “--to get your mind off of that.”

A smirk grew across her lips, widening as Nate traced the curve of it. “Oh, is that the only reason we’re doing this? How generous of you.”

“I would do anything for you,” he vowed without hesitation, followed by a groan as her tongue darted out to lick the tip of his thumb. He watched the motion with rapt attention. “But I won’t pretend my intentions were entirely altruistic.”

She turned her head to kiss his palm, then the inside of his wrist. “Good. You could stand to be a little selfish.”

There was something wild in his eyes when they met hers again. Untethered. But also fragile, like he could shatter if she touched him the right way.

Kira decided to risk it anyway. Without breaking eye contact, she leaned down and licked a broad stripe along the underside of his cock.

He swore under his breath, the language not one she recognized but the sentiment behind it clear enough. It was such a lovely reaction that she did it again, slower, savoring the taste of him as well as the sounds he made.

The angle made it difficult to do much more than tease him, but Nate clearly didn’t mind, praise falling from his lips in a mix of languages as if it was a struggle to hold on to any of them for long. She could identify some of them, and heard her name interspersed throughout, muttered like a prayer between endearments, ya rouhi, cariad, zhizn moya, mon cœur, beloved.

It wasn’t long before he’s tugging at her with shaking hands, the words “Kira” and “wait” exhaled on a shuddering sigh. She stopped immediately, leaning back to give him room to catch his breath--but instead of doing so he just followed her, claiming her lips in a bruising kiss, pressing her down until she was laying on the table again.

“You are exquisite.” He kissed the corner of her mouth, followed by another at the edge of her jaw. “You make me feel…” He trailed off, as if none of the words he had were sufficient. She knew the feeling.

His lips found the sensitive spot behind her ear, a shaky sigh escaping him as she arched her neck to give him better access, baring her throat to him.

“One of these days,” he said in a voice like rolling thunder - deep, exhilarating, a promise of things to come, “I’m going to get you somewhere I can take my time with you.”

Before she could respond, he was moving down, nipping at her collarbone and the crook of her neck. His hands were as restless as his lips, grabbing and caressing and kneading but never staying in one place for long, as if he was trying to touch her everywhere at once.

“Somewhere I can spend hours exploring you.” His fangs just barely scraped against her skin, a slight sting before he soothed it with a sweep of his tongue. It sent electricity sparking through her, setting her alight. “I want to learn every way you like to be touched. Every sound you make.” 

Long, elegant fingers traced up the inside of her thigh and past the hem of her sleep shorts - Kira had never been so grateful to the summer heat for convincing her not to wear long pants - pushing them aside along with her underwear to delve into her slick folds.

She whined, high and helpless and shaped vaguely like his name, and Nate echoed it with a broken groan. His lips found their way back to hers, kissing her with the same torturously slow rhythm of his fingers, licking into her mouth as he pressed into her.

“I wish I had the patience for it tonight,” he breathed between kisses, “but you are irresistible.” He pulled his hand away, swallowing her whimper of protest. “I will do my best to make it up to you next time.”

It was a struggle for Kira to find her voice. Desire simmered under her skin like a living thing, burning away all semblance of thought or language until all she had left was “Nate, please.”

Those were the only words she needed. As soon as they were out of her mouth, Nate was lining himself up and pushing into her, slow and relentless, until their hips were flush against each other.

She groaned at the delicious stretch as he filled her, a shiver coursing through her. The motion made his hips jerk forward, hands clutching hard at her thighs, which in turn made her clench around him. An echo chamber of sensation, bouncing endlessly between them.

“Kira,” Nate pleaded, completely undone and devastatingly beautiful, “I can’t--” He growled between clenched teeth, all his eloquence lost under desire.

Kira knew what he was trying to say. She pulled him down to kiss him, all open mouths and tangling tongues. “Don’t hold back,” and then, again, “Nate, please.”

There was nothing tender or gentle about the way they moved together, both of them too far gone, desperate and driven. 

Nate only barely stayed within the bounds of human ability, thrusts just a touch faster than a mortal man could manage, grip a little too strong, leaving bruises on her hips and thighs that he’d feel guilty about in the morning. Kira didn’t mind them; she just wished her own marks didn’t fade so quickly, that she could leave some visible proof that she wasn’t still dreaming.

The pleasure built quickly, coiling in her belly, growing tighter and tighter with every movement, every thrust and kiss and broken sound. She could already see the end in sight, and she tried to hold herself back, to slow down just a little and savor it, but then he shifted, changing angles and sliding into her just so--

She careened over the edge with barely any warning, and he followed close behind her. They held each other together as they shattered and shook apart.

It could have been minutes or hours later when Kira became aware of her surroundings again. The kitchen was quiet except for their slowing breathing, the sky still dark through the window over the sink. Nate loomed warm and heavy above her, his forehead resting on her chest over the still-racing beat of her heart.

She combed her fingers through his hair, pushing it back from his face enough to plant a weak kiss on his temple. That took the last energy she had, and her head fell back on the table with a dull thunk. “You know, I have to say, Victorian carpenters really knew their shit.” She gave the table a fond pat. “Very sturdy construction.”

Nate’s shoulders shook with silent laughter. “I’m sure they’d be happy to know their work is still appreciated.” He lifted his head enough to meet her eyes, expression blissful and adoring. “Though perhaps not quite in the manner it was intended.”

“We’re getting pretty good at using furniture in ways it wasn’t intended.”

He hummed in agreement and appreciation. “More than ‘pretty good,’ I think.” With a groan, he pushed himself off of her and sluggishly got to his feet, offering a hand to help her clamber somewhat-gracefully off the table. “But perhaps we should give it a break and take this elsewhere.”

It wasn’t a question, but it felt like one, and Kira let herself consider it while they put their clothes back to rights and checked to make sure they hadn’t left the kitchen a mess. It wasn’t that she didn’t know the answer; it was that she wasn’t sure she was brave enough to ask it yet.

As if he could sense her hesitation, Nate stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She leaned gratefully into his embrace, sighing contentedly when he kissed her cheek. “I should probably get some more sleep.”

“I agree,” he said neutrally, not giving her any insight into his own thoughts.

She closed her eyes and forced the words out in a whisper he probably wouldn’t have heard if he were human, admitting for the second time that night, “I don’t want to be alone.”

It was harder to say than it had been the first time. ‘Alone’ was what she’d always done best; she wasn’t quite sure who she was without it. Part of her thought it would be safer to just face the nightmares again.

He spun her around so he could kiss her, in equal parts comfort and relief. And then kissed her again, just because he could. “Would you…” he swallowed hard, and it made her feel better to know he was nervous too, “would it be all right if I stayed with you awhile? At least until you fall asleep.”

Kira liked that he made it sound like his idea, asking if he could rather than if she wanted him to. It took some of the pressure off, made her feel a little less vulnerable when she confessed, “I’d like that.” She could feel his smile when he kissed her again. “My room or yours?”

“Mine.” There was a hint of a purr in Nate’s voice, despite what they’d just finished doing. “I’ve wanted to get you in my bed for some time now.”

She laughed, feeling a knot of tension that had been lingering finally begin to unravel. “Then take me to bed, love.”

No sooner than the words were out, he lifted her off the ground once again, chuckling as she yelped in surprise. He carried her down the hall at close-to-human speed.

The bedroom door closed behind them just before the rest of the team returned home.