#ive been trying to learn more about color and its still a struggle but im getting there i sappose !

[bigshotautos]

💤

[corpsoir]

hello! so I don’t really know how to word this in a non word vomit kind of way so my apologies ahead of time! One of my further questions about art especially digital art is finding a nice in between style of realism & “cartoony.” I personally struggle with the realism kind of art somethin about drawing real people is extremely difficult for me, I don’t want to draw them like fully real like but I do think my art could improve if I figured it out. Do you have any tips or recommendations to help with finding this? My other question is a bit more into coloring, i think I’m getting a little better at it but I’m still a tad confused on things like shading how to do lighting all that extra stuff people add when it’s not just flat color. Hopefully I make sense? I’ve been watching videos on digital painting & it’s helping but sometimes the ones I watch kinda go over my head & I was wondering you had any other tips/tricks or could dumb it down for me. Please & thank you sm again I really appreciate your help 💘

yeah sure i have lots of tips and thoughts im sure other people might find useful or fun to read as well!

i just wanna preface this by saying this is how just i do things and by no means am i saying im doing it "right" or that there even is a right way to do art. have fun! art is just a by-product of being human, nobody can do art more correctly or better than anyone else, its just art, its like breathing!

the best tip i can give to anyone looking to improve their art, especially when it comes to drawing people and light and shade, is taking a real life figure drawing class!

i know it can be expensive depending on where you live etc but if you ever get the opportunity, DO IT! its seriously so valuable especially if you have a teacher who is good at explaining 1) how to think when youre drawing and 2) can point you in the right direction and give you tips personally according to your abilities

when it comes to balancing realism and a more stylised cartoony style the best thing here is also to learn how the real human body works and looks. and again a figure drawing class can help here but so does looking at pictures, looking at your own body and how it moves and how light plays on your skin etc! i think in order to stylise something its always helpful to have that background knowledge of how something looks like in real life, that way you can sort of abstract the thing youre drawing and simplify it with simple shapes. i think one of my favourite examples for this that a lot of people struggle with is hands. people tend to want to draw every single finger in detail, and sometimes that can look a little bit stiff. heres a bunch of hands ive scribbled lately, notice how theyre all just. idk. shapes? especially the little negative spaces that trick you into seeing a finger when in reality its just a blob with a hole through it.

you read them as hands but theyre really just. blobs mostly.

there are tons of books on anatomy for artists as well and those might help! i dont have any tips there though, most of my knowledge on the human form is from figure drawing and looking at my own body and stuff :))

and COLOURS! so i always work with a limited palette for my art. instead of going in and picking new colours all the time and ending up with an inconsistent muddy mess like i used to, i have made a nice palette with colours i enjoy and that go together well.

lots of reds and browns and purples here, but thats just my personal preference for how i work with colours lol

and im gonna be really annoying with this but when it comes to shading things "right" this is something you gotta practice practice and practice, by looking at real world examples and trying to replicate it on paper (or digitally i guess). i still have a lot to learn, i struggle with light and shade still too and its fine, its a learning process!

but anyways this is how i usually do the light in my art, and i think this piece is the best example because its a very bright light source and stuff

excuse my handwriting lol my thinking when it comes to light is just. im trying to think about what im drawing as a 3d object, so in my head i try to visualise for example how the light will fall on their weird hair shapes and their skin and clothes.

oh and also i just found a compilation of a bunch of videos by an artist who is really good at explaining a lot of stuff i do too! its REALLY long but she's got so many good tips on how to think about art and its really helped me a lot since i stumbled upon them. shes also really great at explaining colour theory in a way that made it so much easier for me!

hope this helps at least a little bit lol im not a good teacher sorry!!

[piercedpressure]

how has deja evolved over the years? i swear she gets redesigned like every few months /pos lol

LMAOOO ud be right cause shes changed stories each year (im painfully indecisive), this year is the only story ive genuinely been interested in exploring since i finally landed on a genre i think would fit her best? and i consider her redesigns to be a sort of progression into how ive grown as a writer and maybe as a person since shes been with me for so long lmao

ill place this under read more cause ill go into condensed detail about her evolution for her characterization, her design, and a small timeline for her story contexts but tl;dr shes grown so much and has gotten way more complex. i love her so much

2017-early 2018: she actually started out as a sona concept! design wise, nothing really special tbh, i was throwing stuff i really liked. for 2017, she was just a throwaway concept, but i was rapidly improving towards the end of that year...

mid-2018: ... that i ended up reusing her concept as a character concept, and during that year, i made an au with a friend that spiraled into something that lasted about the next 2 years, that then included her as one of the main characters LMAO. i wanted to draw crazy hair and also a cute mask, so i did. i ended up making it so that the masks were to both hide her identity (shes a fugitive in the au) and to be some sort of metaphor. her personality was very outwardly sweet, but she could also kill you so it best to not get on her bad side, but she was also in a constant learned helplessnes. big deja year

2019: design wise, i removed the mask, made her fatter (despite me not knowing how to draw fat people yet), and made her sorta baby-faced, since her character is a lot more childish during this bit? story wise, her story was included in an anthology about different kinds of love in a post-apocalyptic fantasy world. during this time, i was going through a Lot mentally, and it sorta marked the beginning of a really horrible period in my life thats still kind of ongoing, so i used her story in a more experimental sense so i can figure out different workarounds in an escapist way? this is also when i started pairing her with her now-partner-in-stories, lualhati, and from this point, lulu and deja are inseparable

2020: for this year, i was sorta putting her story off? i was really struggling to figure out what to do with it other than the deja/lulu love story, but at the same time, that marked me going through a journey of adding fat people to my work. dejas always been small fat, but her body hasnt actually been drawn well enough. we all start from somewhere though. she was a lot more calm in this version, and is sort of a leader figure for a village in a fantasy world. but i wasnt really feeling it.........

2021: last year was when i really started digging deep into what i wanted to do. i wanted weird gay trans cathartic art. so dejas story was that. still wasnt really feeling it, but u can tell i was really experimenting trying to land on something i was passionate about. while i did like her design since its a turning point in my art, and its visually loud (the color palette, holy shit), IT WAS SO HARD TO DRAW? i understand that 2021 me was really going at it with very loud and distinct designs, but the reason why i didnt even draw her for months after was because she was so fucking hard to draw. and i didnt put enough effort to portraying her fatness (which will soon become a very important aspect of her character). but were about to pull a gamer move

2022: up until now, since 2018-2019, i wasnt really satisfied with her story. it didnt really fit what i wanted, bc i was mostly concerned with how other people would react if i talked about them, especially since deja/lulu have always been very personal to me. but i had a vision. where deja and lulu are in a revenge drama thriller in a city in the middle of nowhere. and i havent stopped thinking about it day and night ever fucking since. i brought back a lot of elements from past designs (mostly cause i thought theyd look great, i was right), and im finally getting to a point where im figuring out how i draw fat people. now, dejas characterization came really easy to me (hypervigilent, short-tempered, mysterious, a second away from realizing shes trans). her story explores themes surrounding violence, secrets, and suffocating marriages, and while its a far heavier story than the past ones, its the first time ive been genuinely excited to see how its grown. i could ramble about this all day lol

deja is a growing character and she keeps getting better and better every time im exploring her, and she genuinely means the world to me. thank u for reading this if u have decided to read this

[franeridart]

Anon said: Would you draw SukuFushi? (Sukuna x Fushiguro)

maybe? *thinking face* if I ever got an idea for it, why not. I find sukuna’s obsession with fushiguro entertaining so I don’t count fanarts for it as impossible haha

Anon said: I looked and I couldn't find if you've answered this already, so apologies if you did, but how do you draw your faces? I always struggle with face shape and yours are always super good with really expressive features! Anyway, thanks so much I love your art <3

HMMMMMMMM how do I do that indeed, the basics are honestly what you’d find on any basic tutorial about drawing a face (circle, cross in the middle of it, build the face around that - I really still can’t avoid that step and probably never will). As for the expressions, to be honest with you my way of going about them is thinking them up in emoji/kaomoji form first and then go from there. Emojis and kaomojis have to simplify expressions to the max since it’s such a simple format, right? But they’re still super expressive and convey exactly what they’re trying to say with one single glance, so using them as some kind of reference sheet has helped me a lot in figuring out what’s essential to express what I’m trying to say - still working on it though! I’m rarely satisfied with my expressions, they really do make or break a drawing don’t they............ you never stop learning, I guess!

Anon said:  Ahhhhhhh I just spent like hrs scrolling thru ur oc tag and they’re all amazing I love them so much but I keep confusing the everloving SHIT out of myself cuz I too have a child who is Leo and he’s literally so different from ur Leo lol. Anyway tho ur art is amazing and it honestly just makes me so happy so ty and hope have a good day!!

OHHHHHHHHHHHH MY LEO! It’d been forever since I’ve last drawn him, I kind of miss him............... glad you like my stuff, by the way! Especially about you liking my ocs, that means the world to me!

Anon said: hi there !!! i was wondering if i had ur permission to ur ur itafushi art in one of my edits ! i wanted to be sure before using it <3 total respect if its a no !! thankyouuuu

Sorry but I’d prefer if you didn’t do that!

Anon said:THERES A OCTOPATH TRAVELER LIGHT NOVEL AND ITS SO COOL BUT ITS ONLY IN JAPANEESE ! ;^;There's four stories with centered around pairs of characters and alfion is one of them !Idk if itll be transleted but i hope itll be cuz it sound awesome

OH I KNOW!!!!!!! I saw the art for the alfion one a while back, it looks so soft!!!! ;;;;; 8path is kinda niche as a game though, so who knows.............. let’s cross our fingers!!

Anon said:  hello, i am here to recc Skeletons by New Years Day because i think it might fit a few of your ships<3

Thanks anon now I’m emo ;;;;;

Anon said: bakubro gives the best hugs. kirishima is the only one who knows this. everyone is absolutely incredulous when the question "who gives the best hugs" goes around and kirishima answers bakugo. (bakugo thinks kirishima is the best but he benefits from kirishima bodily hugging him and he's biased)

Definitely!! He’s strong and warm after all, bet hugging him would feel the best.... the only one who shall ever know is kiri though, as I bet his hugs are only that nice when he really likes the person he’s hugging hahaha

Anon said: Hi! Just wanted to say that I absolutely love your JJK art! The colors and style are absolutely stunning.

Thank you so much!!!!!!! I feel like I’m mostly drawing for myself lately ngl hahaha so knowing you like it means a lot!!

Anon said: Hi!! This isn't a request I just really like your art! I found you from Pinterest on a kiribaku thing you drew! Your art is so cool! I wish I could draw like that!!! I'll keep looking for new art you've made :D

Aw pinterest.......................... glad you could find your way back here though!! And thank you!!

Anon said: This happened a while ago, but i wanted to say it anyway. I remember when I started watching jujutsu kaisen and I was looking for content arter finishing the first 10 episodes in less than a day and I found your first jujutsu kaisen post (it was posted that dame day) and i was like ???? One of my favorite artists got into jk at the same time than me!!! I just thought it was a neat coincedence to share! I really love your art too, you're amazing!! Happy New Year!!

It’s!!!!!!!!!!!! a pretty dang neat coincidence for me too, since it’s always nice to know at least some of my followers are still into the stuff I make hahahaha

Anon said: i think a lot abt ur art and how ive been seeing u since middle school and now im graduating highschool and we're still in the same fandoms, i hope this doesnt make u feel old but rather VERY cherished qwq

No anon this makes me feel amazing you’ve been around so long!!!!!!! I can’t believe you’re still here with my thank you so much for that!!!!!! I think I’m gonna cry a little here.......... ;;;

Anon said: Hi! I love your art so much!! 🥰 Have you read a KiriBaku fic called The Pit??

Probably not, haven’t been reading krbk fics in a while by now! I’ll add it to my for-later list, thank you so much for the rec!!

Anon said: can u believe that (sans sero) the entire bakusquad can be put into some form of punk/goth fashion? the realization was a galaxy brain moment for me. also realizing that tokoyami, kirishima, and tamaki are all varying levels of goth/emo (some more concerning than others)

Sero’s the hippie friend every punk friend group needs, he balances things out and that’s why he’s very cherished and necessary!!!!

Anon said: your bakugo drawings convinced me to finally start stretching my ears and tbh i'm extremely excited (i've had off and on thoughts of stretching my ears (again) before this so it's not as impulsive as it sounds haha)

Anon that’s so cool!!!!!!! I love gauges so much.....................glad I could give you the last push for it!!

Anon said: uhhhh, i love the style of that top left goge drawing dude!!

THANK YOU I LOVE DRAWING IN THAT STYLE THIS ASK MEANS THE UNIVERSE TO ME

Anon said: i sent the dragon!kiri and bakugo tug-of-waring over a piece of meat and honestly your response is exactly what i thought

Great minds!!!!!!! hahaha

[inosukeslefttoe]

SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

[spacedlexi]

Hello! I was wondering if you could please make a tutorial for colours? I absolutely adore your colouring/ effects and I’ve been struggling with it for years;;v;; so if it isn’t too much trouble that would be amazing! Of course if you can’t that’s fine too, I completely understand! Thank you sm for giving us amazing art💕💕💕

waah thank u so much thats so nice...🥰💕!!

i love to help when i feel like im able to give Real advice and not just “yeah idk this is just how i do things”. these are some basics ive learned from painting and drawing classes that i try to keep in mind while coloring (even though i dont always do it haha but it IS at the back of my mind)

i made these diagrams quick just to get some points across as easily as i can i hope its not too hard to understand (also i hope you can read my handwriting..)

its easiest to practice these ideas on white objects because theres no real local color to worry about. just the colors from your light source and your shadows. warm light creates cool shadows and cool light creates warm shadows. but shadows are also made up of the reflected (bounced, ambient, diffuse (theres lots of names for it)) colors of nearby objects. light bounces and so does the color it bounces off of. these reflected colors will be less extreme (more neutral (grey)) and mix with the color of the light source a bit.

from top to bottom: the highlight is where the light hits your object most directly. this can be a really hard light like in the pic or really soft depending on the source and the object itself. base tone is just the color of the object affected by the color of your light source (warm/cool). it may also have a saturated edge. halftone is where the light meets the core shadow. this area is usually less saturated as its further from the light source. the core is the darkest part of the shadow and occurs right where shadow meets the halftone. think of it like an edge. even round objects have this though it’ll be harder to see. then the real shadow which is...a shadow haha but aside from being a cooler version of your objects true color it’ll also be comprised of the colors from light bouncing off nearby objects. thats the reflected light.

now with color!

ive seen some “how to color” posts on here that say to avoid greys, and thats not true! neutrals are very important, especially when it comes to complimentary colors. sometimes its hard to tell that a color youre looking at is actually pretty grey, and that has to do with the colors its surrounded by. can you see the reflected light on the red ball? looks a little blue (or green depending on which youre looking at) right? but its actually just a neutral red! the blue affected color is cooler and the green affected color is warmer, but theyre both still neutral (grey) reds. even some of the red has reflected onto the green surface, making that a warmer neutral tone as well. neutrals are everywhere! its kind of hard to find (naturally occurring) highly saturated colors.

moving from yellow to green might not take many neutral tones because of their proximity to each other. but the farther your colors get from each other, the more neutrals you’ll need to transition between them. all colors have one thing that connects them, and thats grey haha. dont be afraid of neutral tones! but still dont shade with black!!

on top of going neutral i also always try to shift the hue as well. sometimes this is really subtle or extreme depending on the situation and what i feel looks best. subtlety can also go for neutrals. in the end, youre just looking for whats most visually pleasing. and thats subjective! and can tie into your style. i dont Always shade with neutrals. like with skin, sometimes it can be better to have more saturation (sometimes i just go straight down too only barely changing saturation, or not changing it at all). but for the most part i move towards the grey side of the box and not the saturated side.

this is pretty long and im not an expert or anything but i hope its helpful!! here are a couple videos on the subject as well that i feel do a pretty good job explaining these ideas, and go into some more depth than i do here. one about ambient light, and one about shadows and colors. it can also be nice practice to just color pick from photographs so you can learn to recognize colors better as well :)

[creacherkeeper]

sorry if this bothers you but you seemed like a good person to talk to about this. im like 97% sure im autistic and ive done a lot of research but my mom doesn’t believe me because i’m not like the boys she’s seen on youtube. and its just awful because i’m not eighteen yet and im a black girl and i know how parents are important in the diagnosis because of childhood behavior. i just feel like no one will believe me about a diagnosis.

hi nonny

first off, not a bother AT ALL, no worries. im always happy to talk through situations like this

secondly, im sorry for the situation youre in. its one that a lot of autistic people find themselves in, so youre not alone, but its a very difficult thing to go through, especially when youre a minor without access to many resources. so know that someone sees the struggle. when i was trying to get diagnosed my parents were the exact same way. they didnt believe me at all because their only concept of autism came from rainman

so, some advice:

until youre an adult, take this time to learn as much as you can about autism, the autistic community, your own neurodivergence and how it affects you, and whether or not you actually want a diagnosis. having that official word is important for many people, and it gives you access to accommodations at work and school. but there are a lot of drawbacks to a dx as well. in situations where you are forced to disclose, there is a lot of stigma, and people may treat you poorly because of it. depending on where you live, you may be disqualified for live saving medical treatment such as transplants. it makes it infinitely harder to adopt or win custody battles. etc etc. there are many reasons one would choose to get a dx or not, so learn more, talk to people, and take this time to make a decision. if you choose self-dx, know that there are many in the autistic community who chose the same and you are loved and welcome as one of us

if you do chose to get a professional dx, know that its going to be an uphill battle. it's expensive, for one, so if you're planning on attending college or live near a campus, try finding a university teaching psych center that charges on a sliding scale. they're also going to have young professionals who hopefully are more up to date and not so set in the old conception of autism. youre also going to have more of a difficult time getting a diagnosis as a black girl, because so much of the psych field was built on sexism and racism, as well as the inherent ableism of the field. youre doubly more likely to get misdiagnosed with a behavioral or mood disorder, so know that you are allowed to stick up for yourself and be clear about your needs in the process. many (especially older) professional's picture of autism is still 10 year old nonverbal white boys. before seeing someone, ask on the phone (or have someone ask for you) whether or not they have experience diagnosing adults, women, and people of color. that could really make a difference. but also keep in mind that if one person doesnt work out, you can always see someone else. i've been misdiagnosed with things several times, and i choose not to disclose that when seeing new medical or mental health professionals unless its relevant

all that said, you do NOT need your parents to get a diagnosis. mine were not involved in my process at all when i got dx'd at 19, because i knew they would do everything in their power to convince the doctor i wasn't autistic, even if it meant bending the truth or lying. i brought them to my results session, but that was it. they argued with the doctor but she had already made her diagnosis, so it didnt matter. the rest of it was just me and the diagnostician, and i answered all questions about childhood the best i could. its totally fine to write down a list of childhood behaviors or memories before you go in if you think youll forget or miss something. for me the biggest reason i got diagnosed was the hugely variant scores i got on my IQ test, which is a common thing with autism (my scores ranged from low 30s to 99.8th percentile, with not much being average or in the middle). so the diagnostician will not only be looking to childhood or family members. there are plenty of people seeking diagnosis who dont have access to willing family anyway

i think thats all my advice as of now. but i understand how scary the situation is, or how scary it seems while youre in it. if you have any more questions or just need to talk, feel free to message again or dm me. im more than happy to listen or try to help more

[ibblescribbles-archive]

Ibbles, do you have any advice or videos you could share for a beginner digatal artist when it comes to colouring? I know to practice a ton but I need some sorta direction, ya know? Btw I ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ you're art!!! °°°•▪︎☆°••☆▪︎☆☆°••☆▪︎•°▪︎°

thank you sm! hmmm, i think any advice i could give depends on what direction you want to take you coloring style! you’re right when you say practice cause i think a lot of developing any kind of style is about experimenting and seeing what feels comfortable. what helps me when im trying to figure out a new coloring style or upgrade my main one is looking at artists i admire and trying to mimic parts of their shading, or figure out how they create certain effects. for my own coloring style i originally started out wanting a mix between cell shade and soft shade and gradually (like over the course of a few years) moved towards a more painterly style just bc i realized i most admired a more rendered look. and im still developing that! but recently ive wanted to have a secondary more simple style closer to cell shading, so ive been trying to examine how artists who mainly cell shade utilize bigger and more basic blocks of shadow. in general if you’re trying to go for a more simplistic style, maybe focus on color picking and really learning how to choose colors that compliment each other, and if you want a more detailed style, focus on depth and how you can incorporate both subtle color shifts between shades, as well as well placed darker colors for depth. i still struggle w/ using dark colors to make light areas pop ^^; if you specifically want a “tutorial” on how i color, i do have one here...kinda! its specific to shading hair, but the main process is basically how i shade everything else too. im not sure that really helps too much but good luck figuring out your art!!

[peachcitt]

i had A Dream last night and need to talk about it so here we go:

there’s some kind of battle going on. it’s been going on for a long time

for so long, in fact, that i recognize one of the people on the opposing side; we’ve both rescued each other on multiple occasions. we could be considered friends, almost

(this person starts in my dream presenting as a boy but as the dream continues, they present as girl, so im using they/them pronouns for clarity)

it gets to the point that when the fighting gets bad and i see them, i turn and smile and say “may want to go somewhere else for a bit. it’s bad down there” and they listen to me with a returning smile and nod

it’s nighttime on the battlefield, and i see a streak of green light shoot across the starry sky, close to the earth

fear strikes through me. that’s a dragon. it’s on the hunt.

suddenly the battle doesn’t matter anymore; i can’t even remember why we’re fighting. and i know that this dragon doesn’t care about sides. it’ll kill everyone without difference or mercy

i hide behind a boulder of sorts, and my friend hides next to me, unaware of the danger facing both of us

i grab hold of them, and they reel away from me, but my grip is firm. i try to tell them about the dragon, but they don’t believe me at first

and then we look out from behind our hiding place, and we see the dragon. decimating our troops. it’s glowing green eyes see us, catching our scent, and my friend grabs my hand and pulls me into a run

they’re taking me to cave we’ve both sheltered in separately before - the night is dark and it’s hard to see our path, but our feet follow the path as if from memory. it’s exhausting. my breath comes heavy

the dragon is close behind us

we stumble into the cave, sliding down into the complete darkness of the rock walls on sharp gravel that stings my palms and sticks on my clothes

we fall onto each other, bruised and exhausted, and we both look up to the exit of the small cave, watching the fire from the dragon and the battle alike flair. we stay in the cave all night, hardly breathing

in the morning, the sounds of the battle have ceased, and my companion doesn’t want to stay with me anymore

they call me and themself alike cowards for abandoning our troops, and they curse themself for aligning with the enemy in any capacity. they begin to get up to leave

but im struck through with fear - and with a sick certainty that the dragon will not let us go. it saw us. it wants us.

i throw my arms around them, crying into their dust-covered shoulder. “please don’t leave me,” i say, holding them tight, “please, let’s just stay here a little while longer. the dragon will chase us, and it can’t find us here, at least not now. please, let’s stay together.”

they still don’t like the idea of staying, but they agree to stay with me. their arms hold me, lightly.

a little while later, we leave the cave, wandering the edges of the battlefield. when we see signs of the dragon, we run into a multi-colored tent filled with girls on some sort of mission trip

they stare at us with bewilderment - they don’t want us to stay, but through the flaps of the tent we can see the dragon following our scent to the places we just were.

i grip hold of my companion’s arm. “it’s human-shaped,” i whisper, voice shaking as i watch the dragon turn its head toward the tent. we both tense, looking resolutely away

the girls in the tent want us to get out, but then the human-shaped dragon pulls open the flaps of the tent, and i grab hold of my companion’s hand.

the dragon looks around the tent, bright green eyes looking across each girl, on my partner and i. it asks about what the girls are doing here.

the leader of the girls says something about passing through on their way to somewhere else, and when she looks at me, unsure, i laugh and add on to her point as if ive been with them the whole time. “it’s just so exhausting to be on the road, isn’t it?” i say, and the dragon asks for all of our names.

one by one the girls give their names. on my companion’s turn, they stumble over their words, obviously unaccustomed to lying. they finally settle on the name “annabeth” and i grip their hand tight to keep them from talking anymore.

“im bev,” i say easily. it’s not my name. “bev is short for something, but usually everyone just calls me bev,” i say laughing and looking at all the girls as if it’s an inside joke among us all. they return my laugh with tight looks.

the dragon looks between us and begins to talk - about a hunt. annabeth stands up, anxious to leave, but i don’t want to draw any more attention to us than needed. i grab their hand, saying “come on, annabeth, don’t be rude to our guest,” in a chiding tone.

annabeth glares down at me, but they don’t move, gripping my hand tight. one of the younger girls - just a child - has come near us and is gripping my other hand

we wait until the dragon finishes speaking - it says that it’s close to finding its prey, but that it’ll stalk the area for a while longer, just to be sure. it’s toying with us.

as soon as the dragon leaves, annabeth and i bolt out of the tent, running away from the battlegrounds for good. the little girl from the tent follows after us, but there’s no time to go back and leave her there, so i just let her follow after us

we enter a forest, and we climb up one of the trees. my hands dig into the bark, my shoes slipping. i have the girl on my back now as i climb, and exhaustion is weighing heavy on me.

but on the ground i see a man clearing out trees for timber wood, and i drop down to the earth because our tree was going to be next. annabeth doesn’t realize, still clinging to one of the uppermost branches

i call out to them, but they refuse to jump down until the last moment.

i think we’d wanted to hide in the trees for some rest, but there was no possibility now with the forest being cleared

we continue running, and we reach a small, dusty town. we rest in a dusty, brown diner, and there’s a sad looking man in a booth near us. he pays no attention to us.

we realize we don’t have enough money to buy food for all of us - we only have enough for one, and annabeth and i both decide to get food for the little girl - nina, we learn her name is.

annabeth glares at the little girl, asking lowly to me so that nina wouldn’t hear how we were supposed to survive hauling a kid along with us. we could hardly take care of ourselves - how were we supposed to waste resources on a child?

overwhelmed and undeniably hungry, i drop my head into my hands and begin to cry. only for a moment, though. i don’t want to dishearten nina.

i turn to the man sitting near us, asking him about a map or maybe some temporary work we could get.

he tells us about the casinos in town - which is currently where most of the citizens are now. he seems reluctant to tell us this at first, but we get it out of him eventually.

but then a surge of people come into the diner, presumably from the casinos that have just closed, and they’re all angry - angry with the man we’re talking to

he’s a debt collector. a man who scammed all of these people out of money

so now we’re all running again, the debt collector close by - the people hadn’t seemed to care that we didn’t know he was a debt collector, and the wanted to get us to

at the edge of town, the path splits into three, and annabeth and i choose to go down into the mines to try and lose our tail. the debt collector follows after us

at some point, we get separated, and i search in vain for annabeth and nina, hearing them struggle somewhere above me. i jump into one of the mine shaft elevators and go up the floor, knowing there’ll be at least three men that’ll over power me

but hopefully i can get us all out of this -

the mine shaft elevator opens, and i see annabeth and nina struggling against the men holding them; annabeth furious, nina crying. a man grabs me, and as soon as he touches me, i let out a long, blood-curdling scream

alarms sound in the mine - someone from the next town heard me - and then annabeth, nina, and i get rescued from the men by some sort of neighborhood watch, escorted out into the daylight

a crowd of people from the next town over have gathered around to see what the fuss is about. annabeth notes, a sour note in their voice, that the neighborhood watch will probably want us to stay behind to leave statements, and that it’ll probably take forever

we can’t stay here. we’re being hunted, after all.

as we stand out in the daylight, covered in dust and grime from the mine, i suggest brightly “we could tell them my cousin is in labor”

annabeth gives me a look. “why would they let us out for that?”

“we could say we have to be there for the birth,” i say with a shrug. “to bless the baby, or something.”

as we’re talking, a woman cries out nina’s name, and nina runs into her open arms. annabeth and i stop, and the woman - covered in wreaths of flowers, her belly heavy with child - looks at us with a bright, teary expression

“you saved my baby,” she says, “you saved my nina!”

i look at nina, who clings to the woman’s leg, and i smile, letting out a sigh of relief. i’d been worried about taking nina with us, but she looks safe here.

the woman asks about us, about our journey, and i tell her brightly with only a small glare from annabeth that we’re on our way to see my cousin, who’s in labor, to bless the baby

the woman asks if we might bless the baby in her stomach, and i don’t really know how we might do that, but i say yes, much to annabeth’s chagrin

we lay our dirty hands on the woman’s stomach, and i look over to annabeth, who looks probably about as lost as i feel.

i give them a smile, and then i close my eyes, furrowing my eyebrows.

i pray to something - to anything - that this woman’s children will be safe and that we’ll make it out of this alive

(end dream)

[turtle-steverogers]

alright babe heres the first 5 I saw: "why are you covered in neon body paint?" "best not to ask" and "I cant breathe, I cant-" and "I cant walk just go on without me" and " ive had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with" and "hey guys im here and im ready to bitch"

hey guys, saph and i were facetiming earlier and she dared me to finally answer this ask she sent in like fall 2018 except i had to use all the prompts and the result is…well, i’m not sure what it is.  but its got criminal race and spot and a cryptic ass albert who makes lava lamps for his niece.  so yah. enjoy!

warnings: its pretty much crack, but there is a brief anxiety attack

ship: platonic race/al/spot

word count: 2490

editing: no

Something a Little Off-Kilter

-

Race was nine years old when his ma grabbed him by the chin, turned his face towards her and told him in all her harsh Italian-mother sternness, “We do not run from people, Antonio.  You have Mancini blood in your veins and Mancini’s do not run!”  And Race, with eyes blurred from tears and nose dripping with blood from the fight he’d just fled, nodded vigorously before trudging miserably to his bathroom to clean up (and cry a little more).

But he’d learned two things that day.  One: what a maiden name was and that his ma’s is Mancini and two: running is for losers who never want to stop running.  And he’d more or less kept up that sentiment, even if it cost him a black eye and some dignity in some circumstances.  Like that one time in eleventh grade when Spencer Reiding called him a fairy and in turn, Race had beat the living shit out of him until his little entourage had shown up and knocked him out cold.  But seriously, ‘fairy’? It’s not 19-fucking-50.

Race supposes, though, that all good sentiments meet their maker at one point or another.  Self-preservation over morals and all that, right? 

“Floor it, Christ, are you flooring it!?”  His grip on the ‘oh shit’ bar is white-knuckled and he can hear himself panting as he twists in his seat for what’s probably the hundredth time.  The blue and red flashing of the cop car that had been following them is nothing but a speck at this point, but Race isn’t really keen on taking any chances right now.  Tonight had been a close fucking call.  

“Yes, I’m flooring it, asshole!” Spot shouts, swerving around a lone subaru that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere on the otherwise empty stretch of desert highway.  Normally, Race would be surprised at the sheer lack of cars that are out, but he supposes 4 am in buttfuck Arizona is not prime time for travels.  

Letting out a little whine, Race turns to face forward again, stealing a quick glance at Spot as he does so.  He can see the faint worry lines on his face, reflected from the miniscule lights of the dash.  They’d opted to leave the headlights off for optimal covertness, but the moonlight over the desert proves to be more than sufficient.  

Spot’s anxious, Race can tell.  He remembers a year ago when the two of them had first met in that dingy bar in Brooklyn.  Spot had been nothing but a stoic mask at that time, only showing faint hints of amusement every now and then.  It had been incredibly disconcerting, especially to Race who wears his heart on his sleeve, to behold such utter passivity, but Race had since learned to read him.  Spending everyday together for twelve months is really the best lesson in a person’s tells, Race has found.  And really, when he spares a second thought to it, their situation and relationship therefore, is a strange one.  Two broke college grads down on their luck and bearing fuck all from their families meeting by chance and somehow finding themselves stuck in a loop of money laundering and identity theft in order to stay above ground.  Maybe not the best solution to their problems, but hey, Race never claimed to be smart with his choices.  And the rush of adrenaline is as much of a drug as the coke they sell on the side.

“God fucking damnit, is he still following us?” Spot says, eyes flitting to the rearview mirror.

“Dude, he caught us balls deep tryna break into a fucking bank.  He ain’t gon’ let us off that easy.” Race says, “Jesus fuck I told you we should stick to the other stuff.  We were making big cash just fine pulling paychecks from easy civvies.”

“Yeah, yeah, you can tell me ‘told you so’ when we get somewhere I can think.” Spot sounds exhausted and on-edge and Race himself is looking forward to this whole ordeal blowing over so they can find a place to ditch this car and grab a new one and maybe crash at some shitty inn no cop would think to look.  Yeah, laying low for a couple of days sounds perfect right now.  They don’t even have to leave the room.  Denny’s orders in, right?

“Oh, I will.” Race says, sighing an internal sigh of relief as the distant lights of a small town come into view.  Thank god.

Spot mumbles something that sounds like, “Fucking finally,” and eases up on the gas, turning abruptly once they enter the city perimeter.  

They’ve gotten good at this: losing tails, but Race still holds his breath as Spot loops around the backroads of the town, looking for a place to dump the car.  It’s a few minutes until Race can see the lights of the cop car reflecting off the drug store they’d passed upon first entrance and he hisses out another curse, jabbing Spot in the arm.

“Stop here,” He says, “If he finds the car, fine, but he sure as hell ain’t finding us in it.”

Spot looks like he wants to fight back, but instead, he surprises Race by pulling to a surprisingly quiet stop by an old auto-shop.  He gestures for Race to get out and swiftly grabs their duffels from the back seat, tossing Race’s to him, both pausing when the cop car cruises in front of the alleyway closest to them.  Inaudibly, they let out synchronous sighs of relief when it continues on. 

They cheat behind the auto-shop and are barely settled into identical crouches when a quiet, “Psst,” captures both of their attention.  Race jumps violently, only barely recovering in time to slap a hand over Spot’s mouth as he begins to shout in surprise.

“Over here,” the voice whispers again.

The two of them turn to look at where the auto-shop’s back door is now open and Race squints as the silhouette of a man comes into view.  He can see the man waving a hand in front of him, beckoning them closer, before exchanging a look with Spot.  A silent conversation passes between them, we’ve made bad choices before, what’s one more? And Spot shrugs a little before hoisting his duffel back onto his shoulder and tiptoeing towards the man.  Race follows behind warily. 

Now that he’s closer, Race can see that the man is about their age- young and a little rugged looking with hair that curls towards his jaw at the nape of his neck.  His face and arms are splattered with- well, Race’s first thought is that it’s blood, but upon further inspection, he sees that it’s paint.  Bright yellow and orange neon paint.

He has a lot of questions.  Like, how the fuck did you notice us lurking behind your building at four am? And, why did you think it was a good idea to interact with two obviously suspicious looking men? But all that comes out is, “why are you covered in neon paint?”

Spot drops his head in a groan and the guy laughs somewhat maniacally, “best not to ask, it’s a long story.  Well, actually it’s not.  You see, it’s my niece’s birthday tomorrow and she really likes lava lamps so I’m hand making a few for her and that includes painting the bases and she’s going through that quirky eight year old phase where everything rainbows and neon is super cool, so I’m making them neon tie-dye,” he says it all in one breath and Race finds himself struggling to keep up, “anyway, the names Albert.  You two look like you need some help.  Wanna come in?”

The whole situation’s fucking weird, but Race and Spot exchange another look, this one holding the quick debate of, what other options do we got? And a moment later, they’re hustling into the dingy auto shop.

The lights are dim on the inside, but it’s a surprisingly cozy set up.  The side dedicated to cars is immaculately organized, with a few hanging from the ceiling and others lined neatly on the ground, propped up on floor jacks where necessary.  On the other side is clearly where Albert lives, with a couple curtains sanctioning off a twin bed and desk, where sure enough, three lava-lamps, varying in color and size, are set on a few sheets of newspaper.  

Spot frowns as Albert locks the door, turning to them with a smile, “I’m assuming the cop car out there’s for you guys?”  When Race and Spot don’t answer, he continues, too lighthearted for the situation, “Yeah, figured.  Feel free to lay low here ‘til the threat’s passed.”

“If the police are clearly after us, aren’t we the threats?” Spot asks, “Wait, no, hold on, aren’t you gonna ask us what we did?  Aren’t you put off at all?”

Albert waves a hand, “Nah, I do this all the time.  Just don’t try to murder me and we’re good.  You look like nice enough people, just a little down on your luck.  I don’t mind you camping out here while ya need.” He sets off towards his desk, seemingly to finish the lava-lamps, “The door across from the supply closet is technically an office, but I stuck a mattress and some blankets there for people like yourselves.  Feel free to crash.  If the bull comes by, I didn’t see anything.”  With that, he’s gone.  Behind the curtain as if he’d never been there.

Race blinks, bemused, and looks at Spot.

“What the fuck did he mean, ‘I do this all the time’?  Who the fuck is this guy?”

Spot shakes his head, looking more lost than Race has ever seen him, “Hell if I know.”

The office-turned-guest-room turns out to be more spacious than Race had anticipated and he and Spot are sitting on the mattress, munching on granola bars that were placed unceremoniously in a bowl by the door, when they hear a knock from outside.  

Race feels a pit of dread form in his gut and he lowers his granola bar, appetite lost.  It’s the cop, it’s gotta be.  Who else would be knocking before dawn?  And oh god, they’d left the car right out front, how much more obvious can they be?

Race glances at Spot, who’s also stopped eating, and hisses, “If he catches us, run.  Go on without me.” 

He means it, but Spot just huffs out a bitter laugh, “As if.  Now shut up.”

They strain their ears, listening as Albert opens the door, feigning sleep they know he hasn’t gotten in his voice, “Officer.  Is there a problem?”

They can’t hear what the cop says, but Albert’s side of the conversation is fairly clear, “Hm? Oh, the paint?  I was working on a project for my niece and must have dozed off before cleaning up.  Anyway, how can I help you?”  There’s a pause, “Two- what? I haven’t heard anything about no bank robbers, that’s terrible! I- oh, that car, that’s…strange, that wasn’t here when I went to sleep.  Sure, you can check around back, but I doubt ya’d find anything.  I’da heard if someone were moving around out there and I didn’t hear nothing last night.  Yes sir, I- oh?  Nah, I’m afraid I can’t letcha search my shop.  Not without a warrant.  Mm, sorry officer.  Yes, I understand the caliber of the situation, but it is my legal right to deny your entrance to my home without substantial reasoning.  Mhm, but see, that’s a hunch.  I don’t see no warrant.  Okay, officer.  Yes. just around back.  Go ahead.  Alright, officer, okay.  Nice chat.  Goodbye.”

The door closes a second later and Race lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.  All at once, the adrenaline of the night hits him.  They’d almost been fucking caught, Christ, what if they’d ended up in jail?  What if they still end up in jail?  He couldn’t survive jail, fuck, he wouldn’t even be able to afford and lawyer and shit-

His body is shaking, vibrating really, and a weight is steadily growing on his chest.  Involuntary tears prick at his eyes and he brings a hand up to the front of his shirt, tugging as if that would release some of the pressure from his lungs.  

“Race?” Spot sounds distant and Race turns to him, knowing he looks panicked, but having no capacity to change that, “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” Race says, voice high and pitchy, “I can’t really breathe, I can’t-”

“Shit, hey, it’s okay.  I think you’re having an anxiety attack,” Spot says, sounding uncharacteristically gentle, “I know a lot happened tonight, but we’re okay,” He places a comforting hand on Race’s shoulder, “Just breathe, it’s okay.”

Race nods, closing his eyes and focusing on Spot’s touch, allowing it to ground him.  A few moments later, he’s feeling calmer, if still a little shaken.  

“You alright?” Spot asks, not removing his hand.

“Yeah, I dunno, man,” Race says honestly, “It’s been a rough ass night and all I want right now is something to drink and someone to cuddle with,” his eyes fly open as soon as the words are out of his mouth.  He hadn’t meant to say that.  He’s not sure why he said that.  It’s not even like he and Spot have that sort of relationship, nor is he particularly seeking that out.  But now that it’s out there, Race wouldn’t say no to some good old physical comfort.

Spot seems to sense that and laughs a little as he removes his hand from where he’s still gripping Race to sling his arm around his shoulders.  It’s a little more intimate than they usually are, but friendly and comfortable nonetheless.  Race takes a deep, shaky breath and rests his head back against the wall, leaning into Spot’s side.

“Yeah, it’s been a fucked up night and I think I’m still deciding whether or not it’s real or just some weird fever dream,” Spot says, “Like, who even is that guy?  What the fuck is his deal?”

“Lord even knows,” Race says, “But I think I got my fill of crazy for a while.”

“Yeah, me too.”

They lapse into silence and Race is just starting to drift off when the door to the office opens and Albert pokes his head in, somehow covered in even more paint than before and holding up a bottle of tequila, “hey guys, I’m here and I’m ready to bitch.  The cop is gone now, though I wouldn’t recommend skipping town just yet- better safe than sorry.  Also, bank robbers, huh?  Haven’t had your kind in a while.  You’re a fun type, though the arson that I met last week was pretty spicy.  Anyway, drinks?  I know it’s early for alcohol, but I get the feeling y’all need it.”

Spot doesn’t even try to lower his voice as he says, “Yeah, I don’t think our fill of crazy is over yet.”

-

don’t ask me what that was about, i genuinely don’t know

thanks for reading, chiefs

hmu to be added to my tag

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@toss-me-a-pape

@wolfbutterfly42

@revolutioninthesewers

@spot-the-brooklyn-pirate

@aintnosleevesinbrooklyn

@hats-or-badges 

@cassimalfoy

@kingofflushing

@racetrackyeetgins

@yeetwootyeetwoot

@for-the-star-reporter

[xsay10x]

I'll be my own Inquirer

Why so incapable of contemplating this constantly unstable mental state put up with it for a taste of what it feels to be understood for once but is it worth the risk I really need to think this through why I'm reluctant

to share my ideals and opinions tell people what my thoughts are open up with my consciences but cant quite make a coherent sentences so I just hide keep everything inside make sure nothing can come in from the outside because i don't care to confide in the ones who saw something good in me

Wow.. oh! really? what a pussy you see what I mean who talks about their feelings you just need to vibe bro it's not that complex just go with the flow let go stop holding on to the to the shortest rope with the least likelyhood of success

Success what is success dress up for attention have the latest model and nicest brand surrounding yourself with distractions procrastinating instead of contemplating how to be the best you that you want to be

But am I changing for me? or for what I was programmed to be just waiting for directions like the rest of humanity

Stop and take a hit just smile and laugh shut up and start relaxing your attitude is really taxing

How is it, that you can be relaxing while others are slaving away to pay their bills mountains that came from hills

Nah man here just take some more pills I'm not here for this shit

You ain't real enough for this shit just a cog in a machine a dog on a leash careful not to bite the one who feeds

Following orders and deeds obligated to represent reputations neglecting their just vessel a tool being used to confuse the masses they think their the consumers being programmed frequent frequencys colors and pretty flashing lights

Designed to have you mindlessly sitting on the couch smiling neglecting your brain till you go insane till you open of your pouch of pain meds now your addicted but not affected cause your drugs did their job of robbing you of your cognitive thinking now your a cog no need to thrive a bee in hive serve your queen that's not obscene

I'm not trying to instigate these situations I hate but I can't pretend that I dont spectate and sit alone think hold what wait try a lil harder to file my thoughts thought hard about it I feel myself departing no longer hanging I the branch I've hanging on for way to long

I cant let me lose myself cuz I'm all I got I don't care what i was taught I'm not on the clock

Still so unsure what the game plan is but I'm getting more uncomfortable with uncertainty

Let myself stay close to home dont get lost all on my own but still complete that dont mean I want to compete

It's not hard to see that I'm socially inept. I'm begrudgingly accepting the fact that I don't mix with society cuz a part of me has always wanted to blend in but in my own way

Cant even keep track of these days constant reruns don't need the attention I dont want to be in your silly little club or a taste of the sweet life I dont ever want to be a wife

I want stay true to me but when I'm obstructing my own sight its really hard to see who I actually want to be

I went to wander and roam free think for myself try to make it on own but now I'm lost in this labyrinth that is everything I fear everything i hold dear lost in mind and seem to find this part of be that seems to be missing

I'm no longer okay please stay away

I've created a tailored hell just for to sink further into insanity no I don't need help. I'll do it by myself just go away

Or you'll have hell to pay I'm I'm toxic but not just cause I'm sick of all this shit of adjusting and trusting for them to not care what I think

But they dont have to but I'm of hearing bitching from someone whose so insignificant that try to be something superior to me

Why cant we see that were equally capable of maintaining a stable mindset but I know it just goes right over my headset manically depressed or just obsessed trying to breaking away when something's

Telling me I need to stay to find that there will always be pain clean up another blood stain refrain from buying a fresh blade

At a masquerade ball try to find my way but feeling more like im looking in fun house mirrors facing the fears I have of myself

Won't stop complicating everything thing I'm saying can't stop arguing with my self is there really a war going on in my head can't stand the hours I set here laying in bed waiting patiently silently debating constantly switching the side I stand on till I fall find myself laying in bed awake again

Not know how I left myself drifting so long

Being shifty but letting things slip out of control and I don't think I'm holding on to anything but my problems can't keep my promises

I just want to find the common denominator to all this mental labor. But I trapped myself within these these conflicting thoughts

the way I'm feeling can't say just what I'm thinking cant help how far I'm falling

I wont reach out for help... I don't need your help. I dont want your help I just run away from everything right now

Why are all my thoughts consistently conflicting wont stop contradicting what I try to put my mind too

Always finding new ways to contribute to the progression of humanity

I won't stop obsessing I can't bring myself to comply even if I have to lie

Whenever I stand up tall try to make myself different from you all but the universe is so much bigger than us all we don't realize how far we're actually falling

It gets me wondering to where I just sit alone pondering the possibilities of so many diverse realities

The perspectives of everyone. are enough to confuse anyone

Making you feel so discombobulated used to think everyone else was assimilated

Yet it still feels like ive been searching for so long feel my patience slowly slipping away

As my path remain unclear forced myself to stay say I was okay not knowing what that means to me

I fell away blindly moving to go forward into life I thought wanted still struggling to grow up and deal what I've been through not knowing what seems right I dont know how much longer I can stay fight

Wanted so bad to hold onto the mistakes I've learned from but I fell down a rabbit hole everything pulling me back into the habits I want to let go of

I don't know how to move forward I want to go but part of me won't budge

I need a nudge feel free to judge me but who am i judging really why am i comparing all of these people? because I wont let myself see when in comes down to it the only one that i got through it all is me and I need to focus on myself cuz I'm all I have for the long haul but I'm still not ready at all

afraid to receive affection or look at my own reflection not willing to stop and check my agenda hoping to get enough high that it will distract me from my health and keep me from falling into this paradox I call myself

I just have to keep deceiving myself so I cant trick everyone and so I Don't forget to smile and constantly contradict and contort so that they cant see me decaying and semi consciously constraining what im actually thinking because its wrong to think about all the bullshit the majority's put up with an If you can't help but think about it

Just pretend like your okay because that's how you run in the human race

Still can't help ask why I alive? Who is this mask? I'll follow their lead finish the task neglect what need

To fuel the fire that seeds my Insanity

Because I am alright I'm doing fine

I'll say that I'm okay so I dont bare the shame of running away

[trashpandakat]

UNKNOWN :

There are things people dont know about me, and its irrational to think that I can go my entire life keeping it all to myself, but thats no way to live and thats not something I want to endure.. so here goes nothing.

I like the color Green. Growing up I struggled with having a favorite color- I spent some time going from one color to another, but as I have gotten older, I like green. Green comes in so many natural shades. It signifies change, spring, summer, new growth, new accomplishments- another trip around the sun. My mom had a green thumb, and as ive gotten older ive really taken over the love for free oxygen.

The small things mean more than the big things.... ive had hand written notes mean more to me than a $200 dinner. I have a sweet spot for all the hand written notes, the tickle fights, the cuddeling till we fall asleep, even just holding hands. Growing up I always thought it would be cool to be that rich girl who can go and do anything in life- and I still believe some of my biggest accomplishments are ahead of me, but if im stuck on the East coast my whole life... well, ill be happy.

I dont care about money. When you die you cant take it with you and no amount of money can give you the love and compassion that an actual person can bring you. I much rather have quality in human connection than fame and wealth. If you chose money over a relationship, you lost.

I grew up in one town for my entire life. I moved when I was 22.. Do I regret it? Every day. Would I go back? No. My new home brings me an opportunity I never would have accepted under other cirumstances. I have made new friends.. When you hear about how crap you've been for so long- you kind of start to think things really are your fault- even if they are just mad... you can only hear the same words so many times before they become apart of you. Deep deep down I still have the Asheville Hippy Mentality.. but in my heart- im an explorer. I like to see new things and experience new places. Sue me.

I found no comfort in my life until I was 21. My entire life I was raised as a spoiled bratt- at least thats what my grandmother and my family thinks.. even my friends in school thought I was rich and loaded but really, we where just as bad off as them. What people havent seen is the catastrophic events my sister imposed on my entire family.. week after week, day after day. For.. well, 19 years of my life..and then some. Torture was an understatement- she ruled the house. She did what she wanted. She made my parents nonexistant, so you can probably imagine the shit I endured. Now a'days things are pretty smooth... expect for my mentality to be able to trust- thats been pretty fucked in the ass.. but every day I battle with the fact that I was never really that important to my family, so why should anyone else try and change that? Especially an insignificant boy?!

Extremes. Im either extremely manic and having a whole glorious day with zero clouds- or im a ticking time bomb that is activated by water and MANNNN it pours on some days. Its really a get what you get kind of thing- but its also a life long battle- so its not like things are new there. Just learning to adjust for adulthood.

Kids. Man this one is touchy... really touchy.. but Its still apart of me.. Last year I lost a child.. It was unplanned and unexpected- but that doesnt make the pain and greif any less antagonizing. I dont like the baby section in stores... I dont like to use handicap stalls cause the changing table makes me cry. My nephews mean even more to me and it hurts cause I cant see them much. I dont know if ill ever try again... that was a scary and painful situation.. I dont think I could do it again.. even with the best person..

I dont like to give up. I admit that i make mistakes, im human... but come on. Some times you just gotta accept that you did try your hardest there in the end .. just because it didn't work doesnt make you less of a person. I fear failure... and its alright.. cause if I didnt fear it id have nothing to gain by faceing it.

Im usually an open book. The only things I find sensitive is close to nothing. Im a Scorpio and we thrive off being alone and giving hard truths.. but when calm, can be the best companion.

KME

[feel199x]

going, gang member! han jisung, band!au, florist reader

chapters: I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X masterlist   [this fic is complete!]

warnings: hospital setting? angst

a/n: that’s a wrap, cherubs! i hope you enjoy, i worked super hard on this fic! IM SCARED HHH

song rec: jungle - julia

 Your recovery wasn’t graceful. You spent a month in critical condition, barely able to maintain consciousness for even a short period of time. The doctors had explained that it would take a while for you to recover physically, and a lifetime to recover from the psychological trauma. Maybe it had only been a short amount of time maybe, but those days would replay like a broken record in your head. Jisung understood, even if he got frustrated with your state- it wasn’t fair that you were going onto your second month and the fuckhead was fine- albeit in federal prison where he belonged, but he was still alive. You were barely hanging on.

Jisung had brought in your record player and played your records as you lied in the bed. He was missing performances, his presence missed on stage- but he vowed to never leave your side again. He never left your bedside, holding tightly to your mostly limp hand as he worked on another rap. It was two months now, and since you didn’t have any family around- they wanted to pull the cord. Jisung cried when the doctors talked to him, and they sympathized they really did, but Jisung would never do that. He told himself he would love you forever, and he would. He knew that you would wake up some day, he still had hope, naïve as it was.

 Jisung refused to let them, calling his members in a desperate attempt to scare off the doctors. They visited you as much as they could, telling you about their day and leaving flowers for you at your bedside. They kept your apartment and shop in shape. None of them were too sure if you would ever wake up, but they had to have hope. If not for Jisung, for you. They kept Jisung company as he sat beside you, gripping your hand tightly like it would fall off if he let go. Everyone was worried about you, you looked so weak and helpless and they felt worse because there was nothing they could do. Even guiltier because they felt in part at fault for everything that had happened. Every day, there was more pressure on Jisung to pull the cord, but he refused. He lived in your hospital room now, afraid that the doctors would come in suddenly and rush you to the morgue.

 It was three months in when you finally became responsive. Jisung had spilled tears, barely able to compose himself and make out words as he planted kisses all around your face. He was sputtering, unable to form a cohesive sentence, just happy that your eyes were finally opening again. It had been so long, too long until he’s seen them at last. They were such a pretty color, especially in the sun, especially when they shined bright while you smiled.

It took two more weeks to get used to walking again, eating and chewing all by yourself- it was faster than most, but you felt like you had already wasted so much time. Jisung had lot a significant amount of weight, and you ordered him to go home to eat. He wasn’t happy about it, eyeing the doctor suspiciously but he obliged if anything to make you happy. His band members visited in that time, excited to see you up and about. They walked the hospital hallways with you, telling you silly stories and enjoying your company. Jisung returned a week later, much healthier and looked a lot more full of life. You felt heavy with guilt, so self-involved when you learned that Jisung hadn’t left your side for all this time.

“You should’ve gone on with your life, Jisung. You can’t live for me.”

“I wanted to be the first person to see you become responsive.”

“I feel selfish.”

“Please don’t. I wanted to do this, I can rap anytime. I love you.”

“I love you.”

The doctors were reluctant to let you leave the ICU but compromised with the promise of physical and psychiatric therapy. You weren’t very fond of having to spill your feelings to a stranger; it felt invasive, but you knew that it was for the best. You couldn’t deal with all of it alone, you wouldn’t do that again. You wanted to recover, and you knew it wouldn’t be fast or linear, but any progress was better than none. You were starting to look like yourself again, finally recognizing yourself in the mirror. Most of all, you were excited to sleep in your bed again and most importantly, with Jisung. It was hard to cuddle in a hospital bed, and it wasn’t one of the most comfortable either. You wanted to see your plants again, maybe they would’ve been dead by now, but at least you would have the chance to revive them. Jisung had brought you a large teddy bear, one that he was struggling to carry your room and he got you a large bouquet of roses.

“Boring, I know. You remember that dude you thought cheated? Well, after seeing how pretty the arrangement looked I wanted to get one for you.”

You wrapped your arms around him, laughing. “I love it,” you whispered, pecking him, “And I love you.”

“Don’t I get a longer kiss for that?”

“Mmm, yes.”

All the boys were thrilled to see you, and you were welcomed to a surprise party in your shop. You expected all of the flowers to die, but it turns out the group had taken turns taking care of your shop- it wasn’t the best since their knowledge on flowers wasn’t exactly extensive- but it was endearing nonetheless. Your shop was a rainbow of colors, petals decorated the floor, your name in shiny balloons. A record playing in the background. You started to cry, a smile plastered onto your face as you hugged each group member. The cake you got was frosted messily.

“Okay, so I know it’s not that good,” Felix huffed, “But we made it with love.”

“We brought a cake Jisung’s grandmother made in case this one sucks.”

“Jeongin!”

“He’s right.”

“Seungmin, I will end you.”

Seungmin surrendered, putting his hands up. Minho put an arm around your shoulder. “You’re the only other person with sense here,” he sighed, “Chan and Woojin bought dollar store paper plates for your comeback. How disgusting is that?”

“I didn’t know there were better options!”

“Plus, they’re efficient. So don’t trash dollar store paper plates.”

Minho made a face and turned to you, sticking out his tongue. “Disgusting,” he smiled, “I decorated this all by-”

“Not true,” Hyunjin ruffled your hair, “I helped. Do you feel okay?”

You nodded. “Great!” Minho twirled you, “Let’s dance.” You were still a little weak, but thankfully, Minho did most of the work. He danced around you shamelessly and eventually forgot that he was supposed to be dancing with you. You smiled and laughed hard as you watched Minho just fall short of grinding the floor, Hyunjin, on the other hand, taught you some basic steps, careful not to push you too far. It was good to finally be able to relax, your favorite music playing, everyone pleased with your recovery.

“Hyunjin.”

“Hm?”

“Where’s Jisung?”

“Shh, just dance.”

You were more or less swaying, slightly worried, but watched Felix do a dance from a game you were glad you didn’t know. The music came to a halt and you spun around seeing a very smug Chan and Jisung set up a mixer on your counter. “This song,” Chan spoke into the mic, “was made by 3racha for a very special someone.”

“Mostly me though,” Jisung cut in quickly. “Mostly me.”

A stupid smile spread across your face, and it hurt from how much you were smiling. It was hard for you to completely understand what he was saying since his Korean was a lot faster than you were accustomed to, but it was sweet nonetheless. Because the fact that he made a song, specifically for you and had spent all that time by your bedside without complaining or getting angry at you- it wasn’t enough, it was more than enough. When he came down from standing high on a stool, he pulled you into a rom-com kiss, with the dip and all.

“It’s been a while, huh?”

“Too much for my comfort.”

“Right in front of my salad?” Minho sighed, “Disgusting. I am. Disgusted.”

The night continued, as the stars twinkled not out of obligation- but because they wanted to illuminate the sky. The moonlight made the stained glass color spill across the floor, melting with the flower petals color. Things were finally good, things had worked out. Love always found a way. Each member bid you goodbye, seeing the time as their cue to leave and knowing you must be completely exhausted. But Jisung stayed, as pulled you up to your apartment. “I have something to show you.”

You had gotten up much earlier that morning, Jisung head refusing to remove your head from your chest.

“You don’t have to do this, you know.”

“I do. I want to.”

He planted a morning kiss on your lips. “I love you.”

“Then let me get up.”

“But you’re so soft..”

“Sungie, pretty please?”

“Fine. But you’re not leaving this bed when we get back.”

“Alright,” you kissed him on the cheek, “Only because I love you too.”

“I don’t even get a kiss on his lips?”

“Maybe if you get up..”

He shot up, turning to you and pulling you towards him and you happily obliged. “I love you a lot,” he murmured against your lips, “so much.”

The car ride wasn’t quiet. You and Jisung were singing along to the song playing on the radio, he held your hand even as he drove. The scenery was surprisingly nice even though the season was making its transition into fall. It was scenic, the route. The red, orange, and yellows decorated the pale blue skyline. You hummed, trying to ease the tension in your chest. The sky was slightly dimmer, the sun just barely passing for shining. There were leaves scattering up and everywhere as the crisp air carried them to places you’d never know. You were a little nervous even though you knew you were safe. Jisung parked the car and quieted the music.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yes,” you kissed him, “I’m sure. I’ll be fine.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, always.”

“And forever.”

“And forever.”

It was bleak, and your hand had a slight shake to them as you signed your name in and was lead into a visiting room. You wondered how many people there were here, how bad they must all be if they were in a place like this. It scared you, enough to give you a slight shake, but you pressed on. There were so many gates, a constant clicking and beeping as someone led you. There was nothing rehabilitative about this building. It was gray and damp, the wardens angry and spiteful of everyone and everything. You wondered the things they must’ve seen, the people they must’ve experienced to bring them to a point like this. There was regret pulling at your intuition, and you were beginning to grow weary. You sat in the plastic chair, the only thing separating the two of you a polycarbonate class. You picked up the phone when you saw him coming.

“I miss you,” he sputtered, “I miss you so, so much. You have to forgive me, I love you more than he ever could. You know I don’t deserve to be here. I’m a good guy, all I did was love you. You have to get me out, you have to. Wait, is that-”

“A promise ring,” you said, trying hard not to display emotion. But you help up your hand, staring at the ring lovingly, “Jisung got it for me.”

“He doesn’t love you, no one does. Not like I do, never-”

“Rot.”

[nightmaretyrantvantas]

So I have a rant and a half build up of rambling about my very first Percy Jackson Oc Elysia and I need to let it spill so all of you get to hear this info dump about her and my feels

Im putting a trigger warning here I made her when I first read the whole series a few years back. Her backstory isnt the happiest. So im going to put trigger warnings for mentions of (but not going into detail of) abuse, self harm, suicidal thoughts, so if you cant handle mentions of that please dont read this I dont want to upset you

Anyways I have years of work into this bab of mine and I need to get it all out

Also An important thing to note is the timeline of her(and my other ocs) stories. Basically it kinda takes place...as if Trials of Apollo didnt happen?? Sorta? I made her before it ever came out and set her story after Blood of Olympus before trials of apollo was announced so its basically diverges after Blood of Olympus...if that makes sense...I hope it does. 

So basically....At the start of her story Elysia is 13 Nico is 16(from what I remember its been about two years since I read the books so please forgive me)

Ok this might jump around alot because im kinda word vomiting and info dumping about her so if something doesnt make sense please feel free to ask me to clarify I love to

OK SO MY BAB

So her full name is Elysia Angela Melina and shes a Daughter of Hades. At the start when she gets to camp shes 13.

Im going to attatch two pictures ive drawn of her to the post here

This is her with a referrence sheet of her at 13-14 and the digital picture is one of her at the present time that I tend to write about her at age 16.

So Elysia doesnt have things easy. She comes from an abusive household that really fucked her up mentally and emotionally before she got to camp. She ran away at 13 after getting kicked out of her sixth or seventh school and thigs got ugly at home. Stuff happened and she was brought to camp(im refining and probably going to redo how that happens) and well...she doesnt exactly fit in.

Shes on the shorter side for her age and shes lanky and skinny(partially from both skipping meals and sometimes only eating when she can sneak food at home) and she comes onto the scene wearing oversized hand me downs in all dark colors and long sleeves thats got a clear fearful and insecure posture and stance and is always trying to blending into the background and hide from being noticed. Shes got a thick mane of not very well cared for black hair and eyes so dark in color they look completely black, sometimes even in the light with pretty dark bags under them highlighted by really really too pale skin. So it makes her an easy target to be bullied ya know? But she silently takes it like she always does while clutching this beat up little backpack she ran away with as shes put in the Hermes cabin until she’s claimed(which has a 1-3 day delay depending on the god, because a lot of kids come to camp especially at the start of summer) 

When she gets claimed she freaks out and panics because everyone is staring at her and shes suddenly the center of attention because it happened in the middle of the campfire.

So begins the bonding with her big brother.

Shes got alot of inner turmoils and traumas and problems and inner demons and as a result she has undiagnosed anxiety disorders, depression, and some PTSD along with a very low amount of self-esteem and confidence in herself from the ordeals of before reaching camp. Though once shes at camp and she eventually settles in she starts recovering bit by bit. She slowly gets close with nico(it starts kinda awkward for both of them and she comes off really quiet and shy and terrified of sudden movement so its a little hard but they overcome it)

 By the end of her first year at camp shes gotten close to Nico but has a really hard time making friends with other campers her own age so she ends up sticking close to Nico and following him like his shadow because theres a period of time that heś the only person Elysia feels even remotely safe and comfortable around. And as a result at first she spends alot more time with Nico’s friends and various members of the Big Seven and she gets close to them as well(more to her siblings at first but she gets there shes a nervous bean give her time)

Though in the middle of that first year she meets a girl that soon becomes one of her best and closest friends, a daughter of Hephaestus named Karter Becks(the second oc for this fandom I made) and I’ll get to more about their friendship later.

So by the second year at camp shes settled in a little, shes decidedly become a year-rounder because she would rather be eaten by a harpy than go back to “that horrible place”as she dubs it(not to mention its very very dangerous for her outside of camp)

More things about Elysia!!!

At thirteen she had absolutely NO control of reign of her abilities. She couldnt raise or summon the dead, her shadow travel was horribly spotty and half the time she couldnt even do so correctly and her most experience with spirits is that she can sense them and she can hear and speak to them but she cant really see them( they appear as really really blurry shapes that hurt her eyes to look at for too long) of course she beats herself up over this lack of skill, mostly because she(stupidly but understandably) compares her lack of teaching and training and beginner skill level to Nico’s at the time current skill level. Yeah its dumb and yeah in the back of her mind where her common sense is she realizes this but she cant stop herself from doing so, just like she unfairly to herself compares her sword fighting skill to older campers that have been there longer. 

She eventually gets her own sword of Stygian Iron, because no matter what else she tries no other swords feel...right to her. They’re always too heavy or too light too awkward to hold dont work right with her swings or just dont feel right to her so at some point shes overthinking herself to death about it and beating herself up for being too picky when Karter suggests innocently that she tries swinging around her brother’s sword. “After all Elys, whats the worst that would happen, that it feels too heavy?” 

But what ends up happening is that though its too heavy for her, it still feels...right. The best way to describe it is that she feels more connected to her powers and to herself in a way. After hearing that she gets her own of Stygian iron and its...perfect to her. Its not too heavy on her wrist or too light to wield. And afterwards she actually starts getting some more confidence which helps her improve a little faster than before.

Once Elysia is fully apart of camp life it takes a long time for it to fully click that her belongings...are hers and her likes and interests and likes are respected. They wont get taken away or threatened, she doesnt have to hide what she likes or pretend she doesnt like one thing or another. She’s free to be her own person for the first time in her life and she struggles for awhile to adjust to that and accept it. Those struggles result in alot of scattered breakdowns and even one or two...relaspes that for once in her life she has a support system of her half brother and half sister, his friends, her two close friends, and chiron to catch her and help her back to her feet. She has people to lean on and depend on and not have to be afraid of and this helps alot into her recovery and acceptance of herself and her mental illnesses. It takes her two of the three years shes been at camp for her to get at the better place shes at when shes 16, where she now has a small group of good friends, shes managed to bring up some of her self-esteem and self  confidence, shes been clean for a year and shes in therapy for her PTSD and depression and shes opened up more to those around her and shes not the terrified jumps at her own shadow kid but a more quiet but kindhearted and sometimes even giggly teen whose slowly getting her life back together with plans for the future.

But on the topic of things she likes...

This girl loves-no ADORES animals, all kinds mythical or not. She didnt show it at first but she was so SOOOO excited when she realized the camp had Pegasi even though she tried to keep a distance from them because she realized she made them nervous. Oh man you shouldve SEEN her when Chiron took a group of campers her age into the woods and they caught a glimpse of a passing through unicorn. She was giddy about it for DAYS guys. She just...she has so much love and admiration and excitement for animals its so cute you guys.

Elysia also loves(ironically) learning about Mythology, from all over the world. Its her special interest and when she finds and buys a old broken touch screen phone(or one of those touch screen i-pod or something) and gets Karter  to fiddle with it and (eventually after shenanigan filled misadventures of trying to upgrade it to not be detected by monsters and fix the cracked screen) she fills that thing to the brim of downloaded auidobooks of different mythologies as she can and she listens to them when doing schoolwork(she ends up having do be “homeschool” by online classes because things just do not go right when trying to attend schools outside of the protected borders)

She also loves anything soft. Especially stuffed animals. Oh my god she loves stuffed animals, well into her teens. She had one she managed to bring with her to camp that is her ultimate comfort object, a older beat up and been through a life time of ringers and back stuffed husky doll that she cherishes and takes care of like one might take care of gold. Over time (once they found out her birthday--October 5th) she starts getting stuffed animals as presents or just even as little splurges on herself . She also loves soft blankets soft clothes soft anything. She loves the texture and feel of it and it makes her happy.

She’s an aspiring writer and songwriter and can even sing a little but she has no confidence in her ability in any of those. But she has boxes and piles of notebooks and journals filled with little cartoony doodles and pages upon pages of stories and songs shes been writing for years now

Fun fact during her first year at camp Percy and Annabeth dropped by for a visit during their winter break to visit friends and I have this whole little story I might post about hoe when Percy’s walking to go meet someone he finds Elysia sitting alone at the beach doodling animals in her journal and he goes up to her(shes sitting all curled up so at a distance it probably looked like she was crying or something) to see if shes ok and because Nico had been telling him about her via iris messages and updates since she got there but he didnt get to meet her during the summer(stuff happened and she kinda hid from alot of people) but he finds her and he sits with her(after announcing his presence because Nico has told him about her being very jumpy and easily scared and that at that point hes the only one she really opens up to so dont take offense to it) and they sit for a bit and Percy asks her about her doodles and she just, for the first time like ever, she starts to open up because she gets so freaking excited and hyper about it that she just starts babbling away about her doodles and the animals of them and then about animals in general and she goes on this whole, like 30-40 minute info dump/ rant about them complete with diverting tangent questions that she answers herself before continuing with this just lit up and openly happy and ecstatic expression as she goes on and on while hes sitting there just listening to her and smiling down at her partly nostalgically because at that moment she reminds him so much of how Nico was when he first met him and you got him started on Mythomagic and that shes being so open about her excitement and then she looks at him and realizing what she was doing and she shuts herself up now panicking about how much she just word vomited on her big brother’s friend and more importantly this huge shot demigod Son of Poseidon whose saved the world not once but TWICE and who is probably very busy too busy to be hanging around with her--you get the idea of her panicking until Percy slowly reaches out his hand and she nods to let him know its ok and he ruffles her hair and tells her its ok he liked listening to her and holy shit I went on a tangent about that. 

She also has alot of sweet bonding moments with Nico and Hazel because they teach her about having a loving and caring family and what thats like and its really sweet and cute and emotional

Did I mention she likes taking Nico’s shirts? Oh yeah she likes “borrowing” Nico’s shirts, and some of his jackets, mostly t-shirt and long sleeved shirts because once they get close his scent and presence really relaxes her nerves if she gets anxious. Of course its not stealing, its just borrowing and eventually giving back on laundry days...or he just lends it to her without being fully aware of it. Its cute because shes so short that they end up really big on her and she loves flapping the sleeves and the feeling of being engulfed in the safety of his presence without him even being there

ANYWAY COUGH COUGH 

uhhhhhhh....yeah thats alot about her huh I think i’ll leave you all with that to take it and make sense of and I might make a part two(or you guys can ask about her too) 

and yeeeeeeeeeee thats my PJO oc Elysia Melina!!

@phantommoonpeople 

@kid-crashed

@demidorks (im sorry if im bothering you by tagging you youre one of the pjo blogs I follow and one of my favorites)

[solidburnreturned]

by popular demand, here is my oc chatter regarding stuff like relationships n random character traits. its rly long oops but i divided it by character at least lmao,, these are all things that i think id also wanna use if i ever use these characters as humans (which i def will at some point honestly)

- i thinkkkk i want toad and pike to date. toad would come across pike in their lagoon one day while hes wandering around on another wonked exploration and pike is like hey lol :B with their pointy teeth and long ass hair and toad is like :0 he just sits and talks with pike for hours and comes by a few times a week to hang out with them. they fall in LOVE

- fred and lani are def gonna date too. two butches who use he/him pronouns fuck yeah? they have a powerful relationship. mega BDE. power couple. not a lot of pda but alone together theyre both very loving and tender, its a vulnerability thing for both of them. like lani is very cool and can be either stoic or borderline obnoxious while fred is punkish. fred is very head over heels for lani tho 

- mardi n berg.....complicated....i gotta figure out how they actually end up together. berg is a jogger and mardi is a piercer/tattoo artist so that doesnt....make them line up very much in that department. ill think about it more and figure something out. itll probably have something to do with berg’s nose stripes and eye rings

- also side note on mardi......i want his backstory to include a grey period set off by his brother being eaten when they were both young at the troll tree. like he becomes angry and depressed, sorta like branch, his tattoos that he gives himself the only color on his body, until he learns to let go and his colors come back (high key this was inspired by 21 savage, mardi’s voice claim, and the line in his new song A Lot “my brother lost his life and it turned me to a beast”). ill develop this idea further but i just wanted to get it written down

- bismuth.......unsure. they had a crush on pepper and kept trying to ask her out until she came out to them as a lesbian, then they were like :’) but theyre ride or die theyre not gonna be an ass to her because they cant date her. they just care a lot about her. its like icarly

- gazpacho and jupiter CUTE two small trans trolls in That Love. i need to develop them more but. theyre just cute 

- talia is still a little too new for me to develop her......but im thinkin about it...

- kinda same with ernie and olive. they kinda mostly just exist as cute babby characters right now? if anything olive is a trouble maker and ernie is a chatterbox

- clem and thursday also fuckin cute as hell......clem was a nervous wreck asking thursday out but theyve been together like ever since, which is more than a few years. they have a rly cute gentle lovey dovey relationship. thursday is usually hanging around up on her gf’s shoulder giving her kisses on the cheek

- bea and crystal.......adorabl relationship......crystal is another character thats kinda nervous but bea is so chill n confident is helps calm her down. theyre both trans and love the hell out of each other. rly slow n steady relationship, bea is very patient

- pj and marcus!!!! dumb mlm rep relationship. pj is so so gay for marcus he can barely comprehend it. its a dumb ego boost for marcus but hes also very in love with pj, he just expresses it in a weird cocky way idk marcus is a nerd. i need to make more content for them i think about these two way more than it seems

- dwight!! he has a boat. he lives on the boat.....ive thought about maybe pairing him with toad and pike. deciding on his voice claim has been the most difficult thing ever

- kass and current HELL yeah buff gf and tol gf......they spar with swords and wrestle for fun and hang out at the beach a lot. kass fuckin loves the gem on current’s back. i gotta make more content for them 

- celia......i wanna do more with celia. friends with berg probs theyre both sporty. shes just a sweet giant troll who loves mushrooms. i gotta pair her with someone whose palette goes nicely with her pastels 

- carrot and harriet are literally cricket and tilly from big city greens just older. yeehaw siblings. havent thought about relationship stuff with harriet yet.....i think she also needs ANOTHER redesign her colors are just too heavy still. maybe if i can make her colors compliment celia’s that could work as a pairing? hm hm.....carrot tho is dating ford’s oc rye theyre gentle country gays

- rainer. hm. i dont think theyre rly the dating type......theyre just chill with being them. they just wanna swim and be funny

- hammond and andromeda are probs two of my least developed characters.....hammond still needs a redesign. he might be cute to pair with walter, theyre around the same age. andromeda tho i have no idea. she might be a nice pairing with eve? if i ever feel like pairing her with someone...who knows. eve is very carefree and might find andromeda’s energy too intense

- radish i wanna make more content for!! i rly like her a lot....i think shes another troll who isnt interested in dating. shes very focused on being a chef instead. loves her friends a lot!

- mack and pepper 2gether 4ever obvs......they have a relationship that gets richer with age for sure

- im just gonna ramble about mack. i thinkkkkkkk i wanna make her half latina? columbian specifically. she doesnt quite read as white and i didnt make her with the intention of making her white. anyway i love mack a whole lot and should really develop her backstory more. its not rly as like...””tragic”” or whatever as pepper’s i know that but she def has layers. i wanna give her whole family more depth. she has a very complicated relationship with her own feelings and motivations that i need to think about more fully. my powerful femme tho i lov her

- mack’s parents, robin and champagne, i need to like....think about them more. they have kinda a comedic relationship thats sorta inspired by roger rabbit and jessica rabbit. robin is a very caring, gentle troll who’s very smart and cares a lot about his nursing responsibilities in the village. champagne is very relaxed and the “voice of reason” character of the family. she loves a good party and has her party planning down to a science. both are very successful power parents. kickass family

- i already talked about topaz and marney in a separate post but i still love them both so much. big wesbiabs

- pepper....pebber. im gonna talk about her the most obviously gfhjdkrs i wanna talk about her mental health i feel like i think about it a lot but i never write about it explicitly? this is gonna be long oops hgjfksd she has depression and ptsd stemming from the trauma of her crash...im thinking she also has adhd and thats just something shes always had. her depression rly got heavy during her recovery and right after like...she hated being bed/housebound and felt rly powerless to her situation and just let it eat at her until her personality had actually changed considerably. like extroverted wild child rebel to introverted, soft-spoken sulker. this got better with time but she still is pretty introverted, just turned her moodiness into chill energy. 

- she has bad depression habits like letting dishes, old food, laundry, or just stuff pile up in her room until it gets overwhelming and she spends like two days just manically cleaning; or staying in bed for way longer than she should and messing with her hygiene; or eating way more or way less than she should eat in a day. just stuff thats hard to completely break out of when youre recovering. her color is pretty consistently the dark red but if shes having a particularly rough day she might look a little paler, or like a muddy brick color at her worst. thats kinda rare tho

- her ptsd is the thing she hates the most. for a while it made her feel very weak and she’d beat herself up over being traumatized by the crash which was obviously not helpful to her mental state but she was really all over the place during her bodily recovery. its part of the reason why she started working out, she wanted to reclaim some sort of feeling of strength and power that she felt she’d lost completely. she still gets really frustrated with this feeling of loss but she gets a lot of support from loved ones which has helped her not self-blame so much. her ptsd manifests mostly as nightmares/insomnia, chronic headaches/stomachaches, intrusive thoughts and sometimes flashbacks. the nightmares are what rly get to her, she really doesnt get a lot of good sleep and it can get to the point where she just doesnt want to sleep sometimes and she’ll stay awake until she crashes hard

- her scars used to be a big trigger for her ptsd, which is why she has her bangs covering the one on her face and wears long pants (her knee braces are too bulky for pants and would force her to wear shorts which would force her to expose her scars). she just. really really hates them. this is something she struggles with for a majority of her life

- once she and mack start going steady with their dating and start consistently sleeping in the same bed, pepper starts to sleep better. she still has nightmares that wake her up at least weekly, but having mack there to comfort her (whether she wakes mack up accidentally or if mack is already awake) helps a TON with getting her back to sleep soundly. it also just helps her sleep in general to have that comforting, loving presence in her bed snuggled up to her ;w; mack is a big help in general with pepper’s mental health, pushing pepper to make better, healthier choices and get out in the village more and have fun. mack for sure does not “”cure”” pepper of anything but shes a very positive light in pepper’s life that helps her pull thru tough times!

- i love all my goofy trolls so much. its so fun to just chill and blab about them to relax between working on big projects ;o; ty if u cared enough to read this whole thing ur so rad

[ofjeremy-blog]

╰☆╮ FRANCISCO LACHOWSKI ─ JEREMY CHAVEZ identifies as CIS MALE and uses HE/HIM pronouns. they’re a MODEL/ACTOR, and they’re only TWENTY FOUR ! they’re said to be +CHARMING, but also -REMORSELESS. i guess that’s why they’re known as THE PARADOX in the tabloids.

i’d like to start off by saying thank u for opening this shit post! my name is ellie and it’s too cheesy to say you’re watching disney channel so! can’t say that! anyways i’ve been dying to use chico for 10 years and just never did and saw this rp in the tags and was like? o? and now im here! ive been dying to use chico for 10 years but do i know how im playing him or wtvr? nope! but i’m still here please still tolerate me thank u xx 

background info

born n raised in manhattan! 

comes from old portuguese money. his family has always been rich and i’ve just now decided that it’s because they migrated from brazil and started some company like? or maybe they were investors who invested in hella shit and that’s how they kept their money. the chavez family are old money investors and i’m adding in socialite to that. the mom could have a skincare business that’s successful too we’ll go w that. 

doesnt know what it’s like to struggle he was given everything he ever wanted and kinda knew what humble meant but it was only because of kendrick lamar telling him to be sit down n be humble 

he grew up going to some rich elite private school and were his grades ugly? i mean lowkey but did he give a shit? no bc again he doesnt know the meaning of struggling and he knew his parents could just pay off whatever the fuck he did so i mean? to him? school was a time for socialization and he wasnt really into studying he kinda just went bc all his friends did u feel 

he didnt try much in school but he was also a good guy during this point. he was friendly n didnt know the meaning of being humble  and also used his money to his advantage  but he was still a good guy at this point u kno like. think of joey from friends i have that inspo for him u know? like goofy, into flirting w the ladies, etc. kinda ditzy but he’s hot and 6′3″so i mean? 

anyways he fucked around in high school but then junior year maybe he got a steady girlfriend that actually lasted after the short lived relationships he had to lasted at most 2 weeks. he fell in LOVE love w this girl and they were together n couldve been that cute couple u kno

jere was WHIPPED whipped, but then something happened and they broke up n that shit hurted

like most boys who get their heart shattered, jere never learned how to recover and instead started playing w girls n shit. he decided to bleed onto others instead of patching up his own wound and now hes a hurt dumbass who hurts others thinkin it’ll help him (it doesnt! surprise! wish men knew that!) and like. literally trembles when commitment is mentioned or even asked of him like? 

commitment? ded dont kno them 

anyways since he wasnt booksmart and didnt give a shit about high school, he didnt go to college (his dad hated that shit and the mom didnt really give a shit. she was a socialite n cared for appearances and he was an investor who wanted a smart son but jere said fuck his dad wanting brains 4 him n listened to his mom when she said appearance is key

he started modeling and is now slowly getting into acting. he hasnt done  much big acting roles but im gonna say hes been guest starring on hella shit n getting recurring/minor roles for now

thats it for background info! 

personality info

so! like in the background when i mentioned his heart hurted after being dumped end of senior year he started playing woman and was no longer the whipped sappy hopeless romantic that he used to be! 

he’s still a nice guy, but his intentions w girls r just for the fuck n no commitment. he’s like the three sisters in hercules. he sees string n goes snip snip 

 idk why im calling him the paradox but ! for him he like appears to be a good guy and he is to an extent (hes kinda like joey but like a more successful actor kinda with a shittier personality) but like hes the big bad wolf when hes not trying to act like an innocent grandma

he’ll b upfront w girls n tell them that hes not looking  for anything serious but then he’ll play them up and be really good to them and literally just string them along and then go in for  the kill when he knows theyre hooked n then he’ll place the blame on the girl/boy/wtvr by saying “i told u in the beginning i dont want anything more.  this is on u” like that type of bullshit u feel

basically like in the quote he acts all innocent but in reality hes a shit head who looks like a good guy but hes really not n its all bc he got hurt ONCE (literally once) and then decided he didnt need 2 b careful or consider w others hearts. 

men r disgusting sometimes 

and thats basically jere! 

his personality is heavily like joey but when it comes to girls he plays them like the quote says! he looks like a golden boy but really hes like that ugly brown after uve mixed all the colors 

and thats it! 

connection ideas

the highschool sweetheart that broke his heart. she doesnt have to be the same age as him, but would have lived in manhattan during their high school years and it wouldve happened during his junior and ended during the end or even like mid end of his senior year! 

since he’s joey it’d b cool to have a chandler! give me that shit fuckin’ love brotps bro

maybe a brother/sister like relationship? some sibling type of relationship? im gonna say he had an older sister and an older brother but hes not that close w them bc the age gap being 4+ years (not small but hes dumb) 

for him it’d b cool to have unrequited crushes! fwb! one night stands gone wrong or ended beautifully! anything like that the more the merrier for him he loves things that gives n can receive pleasure xx

brotps!!!! love brotps so much give me any brotps im literally the biggest slut for brotps always 

enemies would b legit?? maybe they just dont like him bc hes a dumb ass who doesnt kno how to be humble or bc hes just a dumb rich boy?? maybe he fucked w their significant other n cheated or something?? maybe he played w their hearts n pulled the “i told u i dont do commitment” bullshit n strung them along n now they hate him? enemies r legit we love that shit too

and thats its! 

basically any plots im down for jere is kinda just out there hes just living his life we love connections n if u dont wanna plot then! thats ok too we can just go w the flow n decide on the spot when a reply happens or something u know! if u do wanna plot tho then u can message me on the side or like this post or reply to  this post n ill come to u and u know anything ya! thank u 4 reading this shit post if u got this far u really r the real deal love u thank u