#ive been wanting to code i think. idk if i will but ive always wanted to learn html and python but didn't get the push to

[perpetual-pathos]

i walked into seekL because of a mystery masked man and walked out with pseudo-SQL knowledge i love dating sims

[saltlickmp3]

just realized that i fucked up the link back to trick corridor on my site lmao. it sends you to trickcorridor.neoctities.com which. neoctities. boob typo check 💥💥💥💥💥💥

matrix big naturals call those her neo c titties ANYWAYS

[mythals-whore]

ASSIGNING THE MEMBERS OF THE VEILGUARD A TAYLOR SWIFT ALBUM BECAUSE I CAN!!!

Harding - Debut

Obviously she’s our Ferelden farm girl so this just makes sense, but let me elaborate anyway. Harding is VERY Tied Together with a Smile/ The Outside to me?? Not to mention i feel like she would love the angrier songs Picture to Burn/ should’ve said no. We know how she gets when she’s angry. And you can’t convince me she wouldn’t LOVE Our Song.

Neve - Midnights

Do i even need to explain this one?? Neve gives such Midnights vibes, vigilante shit/mastermind/midnight rain???? Also SO yoyok coded. i feel like her romance is very Labyrinth/Snow on the Beach. And the woman who pets all of docktown’s stray cats is very “karma is a cat” of her idc.

Bellara - Red (TV)

This one was hard! It was between Red and 1989 to me. I just think Bellara would love the high energy pop beats (22, WANEGBT, Starlight). But i think she would LOVE Treacherous/State of Grace as well. Will help with the fanfic writing 100%. I put TV here specifically bc Better Man & Forever Winter could very much remind her of Cyrian??? And you can’t convince me Bellara wouldn’t be obsessed with ATWTMVTV.

Lucanis - Speak Now

Purple vibes, obvious. But he’s like, very Enchanted to me. AKA loves reading romance novels and the concept of romance but doesn’t know much about it/has never experienced it but wants it badly. Which is also why Electric Touch/Sparks Fly apply here. Don’t think about Lucanis listening to Castles Crumbling when he gets back from the Ossuary to find that Caterina is gone (+ later if you don’t save Treviso). Also Innocent was written about him, Taylor told me.

Shout to passenger princess Spite which i feel Taylor embodied when she wrote Dear John (iykyk)

Davrin - Lover

First of all, he is SO The Archer. “Ive been the Archer, Ive been the prey” “i jump from the train and ride off alone i never grew up its getting so old” “i cut off my nose just to spite my face and hate my reflection for years and years” its so Davrin (also one of my favorite songs maybe ever so this is big news). Also as @pinayelf pointed out, Assan as the Arrow?? Dying. But also Davrin’s romance is so Its Nice to Have a Friend. I saw someone talk about this not that long ago, but he’s very much a friend first?? Like he gives the vibe that as your LI you just hang out and rib on each other. I just i feel like they laugh a lot. + Lover as an album is soft but very anxiously attached?? Which i feel is the whole inner life of “i am a Grey Warden and im not supposed to get to attached bc it can’t last.” Honorable mentions go to Daylight/I Think He Knows/Cruel Summer/ Cornelia Street

Could also be convinced he is Reputation bc Reputation seems hardcore but is secretly very soft.

Emmrich - Tortured Poets (The Anthology)

Emmrich would LOVE the flowery language in this. Would love analyzing the lyrics with his besties. He’d love The Albatross (which, coincidentally is one of my favs, guess he just has good taste) and The Manuscript. Also tbh i don’t know much about his romance but “you know how to ball, i know Aristotle” feels like Emmrich with a much younger Rook (shout out to But Daddy I Love Him as well). Idk i think he’d secretly love it. Also relating Robin to Manfred bc that is his son??? On the sad side i feel like Emmrich is very the Prophecy/Peter because he has that dialogue about how he ‘once thought he’d get married’ like he always wanted love but never found it.

Taash - evermore

This was very difficult but i think the general witchy vibes are very “I’m Rivaini, we’re cool with spirits”. Also Tolerate It feels like when their mom comes to visit and no matter what Taash does it’s not good enough. Laash specifically is Dorothea/Ivy to me. And then of course (endgame spoilers) Marjorie after their mom dies and RWYLM if Harding is also gone. As a fan of the ‘pots and pans’ of Closure, they also get this one assigned to them. Just feels right.

[queeriouslyollie]

ACTUAL BRAINWORMS AHEAD ABOUT TROY

i like actually have SO many thoughts about troy yall dont understand. i have so much to say that i dont remember ANY OF IT TO PUT HERE.

its also been to the point that like. its all i think about. its so bad rn too bc i ran outta both my antidepressants and adhd meds (fuck pharmacies theyre all a pain in the ass omg) and so my brain is this mushy slurry of just. troy troy troy wonderlust runt troy troy blink troy. i literally could not focus at work today i had to write in my journal so that i didn't implode.

anyways after this point there are spoilers so dont read on. i woulda tagged it but this post is gonna be so rambly and full of my brainworms that i dont know if i wanna tag this at all lmao. so anyways yeah brainrot brainworms warning if you read ahead,

so yeah i have some like ideas on what troys whole deal is (besides being our [recovering :3] asshole nepo baby).

like first of all, 100% trans coded (like all of charlies characters, like wtf how is this cis guy better at being trans than i am??). please let it be canon i am begging

second, im torn between the theories of him being a little clockwork guy or being a hybrid (like runt and blink n the reclaim guys). its hard to tell what's cannon and what is troy mode comedy shit, but it seems like we may not have ever canonically? gotten a description/confirmation of what is actually under troys suit, and obviously not what may be under his skin. if he is a hybrid that could have some really fucked up connotations asw

third, whats his deal with his family? it's basically been confirmed that his mom's dead (or otherwise just OUT of the picture). his dad is around, for a bit i was SO convinced his dad was gonna be the inventor. either way, whats the deal between them? just nepo neglect? or something worse? i have a feeling either way i WILL be ugly crying. again. to jrwi. about a charlie character. and also siblings?? he said he had a brother. but then when the yort appeared he said he always wanted a brother? so maybe bad relationship there too?

also??? like his character growth?? the amount he has started to be able to convey his respect and care for the team. i love the little part about runt having an actual feeling of looking up to him when they sled down the mountain. they are so sibling coded. troy and blink's little arc was so good too (also like. malewife troy. all im saying about that). and his whole thing in ep 22, the way he was able to twist the perceptions people have of him, and even the fucked up shit he has done, to manipulate (gaslight gatekeep girlboss) his way through that situation. and the team letting him take the reigns!!!!! anyways this makes me wanna compile a list of my fave quotes/interactions/moments/etc from the campaign. i just might.

i genuinely dont know why im SO attached to this goddamn character. theoretically? i should hate him. he is like, literally antithetical to everything i am and stand for. literally a foil to who i am as a person. but like???? idk. as ive said before he's the first character ive ever understood and felt the "i can fix them" thing about lmao. and he has shown character growth,

and to me he seems. misguided? maybe even hurt? by those around him. it seems like those who should have nurtured him failed him. and like. i really empathize that. i kinda feel that a little too much (but from a different lens bc i am the furthest thing from a nepo baby lmfao). and not to psychoanalyze him (more), it seems to me that maybe deep down he thinks very lowly of himself. bro is literally prince charming but was surprised when aeon called him pretty boy?? like i mean obv, he's not the brightest guy around, but i also think he should give himself more credit where its due, and he might not appreciate his achievements enough and seems to beat himself down when he doesnt reach his own standards. he also seems very touch starved (or just. any [authentic] slightly positive interaction starved in general)

or maybe im just projecting too hard onto him oops lmao. thats the vibe i get tho

if you read all this i think youre probably just as ill as i am about this guy and like. respect. or maybe youre just bored or thought there would be something smart in here, in which case i deeply apologize for my word vomit

anyways i think im gonna go rewatch wonderlust from the start for like the fifth time. or riptide for the like 12th (god give us our funy lil pirates back!!!) because. i lobv them

[bluedandylyon]

Rewatch Rambles (tm) Season 1

Sword Pt. 2

I'm making every ep into a separate post and just making season-specific tags bc otherwise the og post would turn into "do u like the color of the sky" and nobody wants that.

I love the series-long payoff of finally talking to this hologram properly on failsafe. Is this room the crystal castle main chambers? I feel like I don't remember seeing the giant she-ra mural but I might be wrong and it's the same room Adora always goes to when training.

Ughhhhhhh mannnnnnnn it’s just watching Adora at her first party is so sad bc she gets to be an actual kid for the first time ever. Catra should’ve gone with herrrrr waaaa I know we wouldn’t have a show but waaaaaa

LIKE DUDE THE SECOND CATRA SEES ADORA AGAIN SHE POUNCES ON HER AND STRADDLES HER AND PURRS ARE U KIDDING ME SHE LOVES ADORA SO MUCH 

SC = 3

RAHHH the mocking “what are you wearing?” And Adora throwing the flower she was wearing to the floor bc it’s a symbol of softness and vulnerability and they can’t that with each other yet. 

Oh I’m going to bite my arm off actually. The LOOK on Catra’s face when Adora says “they’ve been lying to us, manipulating us” she looks so freaking HURT. She’s like “YEAH DUDE IVE BEEN PHYSICALLY ABUSED IN FRONT OF YOU MULTIPLE TIMES LIKE WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT”

idk I used to really not understand why Catra didn’t go with Adora here but now that I have a deeper understanding of the show I totally get it. Dude this is the moment Catra really internalizes that Adora thinks that some of her mistreatment was warranted. Like the fact that Adora leaves bc the horde is hurting civilians but not Catra must have destroyed her. And like I GET IT. BC ADORA HAS BEEN MANIPULATED HER WHOLE LIFE BUT LIKE AAAA SHE’S ACTUALLY SO UNEMPATHETIC IN THIS MOMENT TOWARDS CATRA. And it’s cuz Catra doesn’t give a shit about the civilians so Adora feels hurt by that too bc “how can Catra not care about this?” and she’s in shock and her entire life is falling apart in front of her and like I get it but NGHHH this whole interaction once u understand the characters is UGH.

This post is an incredible breakdown of their miscommunication here, they are both understanding very different things from what the other person is saying. 

“Why are you doing this?” 

RAAAA RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. 

I want to talk a second about how BPD coded Catra is, specifically in this moment (although there are many great examples later). 

With BPD, there is no sense of identity, that is like, one of the main symptoms of the personality disorder, so it makes sense that for Catra, I’m leaving the Horde = I am leaving YOU. Catra reacts so intensely bc she’s conflagrating both the horde and her. And from her POV it also makes sense bc it was Catra that went to find Adora, not the other way around. We know from promise, this is something that Catra feels resentful about too. 

I also find Catra’s reaction really interesting because it’s one of the only times Catra physically hurts Adora as Adora and not She-Ra. There is no distinction to cognitively hide behind here. She immediately jumps to hurting Adora when she feels that perceived abandonment and then immediately feels guilty, but will do it again to not be abandoned by her once more. And it’s also coupled with the fact that there is the fear of abuse from Shadow Weaver if she doesn’t bring Adora home too. It just shows how poor her impulse control is when it comes to her splitting and idealization/devaluing symptoms. 

Love this pose, love the hiss. I just appreciate when voice actors who are portraying anthropomorphic characters SOUND like the species they're portraying. S1 Catra means everything to me bc she has the most cat-like behaviors in the show. As she grows, she tries to hide those behaviors and try to act more human-like, esp when S4 rolls around.

Glimmer saying “We need you, we need she-ra” ope I’m sure that phrase won’t add to Adora’s hero complex !!!!!!!!!!!! 

God and the way Adora can’t talk to anybody about missing Catra bc everyone in the rebellion (rightfully) hates her. She just has to pretend that she doesn’t care at all about losing her best friend and home. Rewatching the show makes me realize just how fast Adora erases herself and becomes She-Ra basically full time to the point that ppl don't call her Adora, they call her She-Ra. And it's cause she has no idea how to deal with emotions, so she just shoves all of that grief aside and buries it in all of her new duties and responsibilities.

[tae-rhymeswithslay]

TMNT: COLOR CODED Casey Jones

colorcoded au by @camilieroart

im so sorry, it doesn’t really look like him, but I tried 😭. I chose a skating pose, but it took me wayy too long to realize that none of the official drawings of Casey have him in skates, so i just followed those. I also tried to combine his normal clothes with his battle outfit bc i just couldn’t decide which one to draw him in

I literally have SO much to say about this Casey! this little rant is probably gonna go on for way too long lol (feel free not to read)

props to @camilieroart for writing this amazing au bc ive been obsessed ever since i saw it in passing on instagram.

Casey has always been my favorite tmnt character. Ever. Hands down. There was something about him that I just adored. As a kid and even now. That being said, finding a version of Casey that was so much like me was like an early Christmas. I was already sucked in to the AU since like, last year when I found it for the first time. But I only recently read through Casey’s backstory and found out that he was korean, which only made me double down on how much I loved his character in Colorcoded.

(I really hope this next part doesn’t come off as narcissistic, its really just me full of admiration for this character and AU)

It was incredible to see a version of my favorite character like EVER (not even joking) that looked a lot like me and came from a background a lot like mine. Beyond just his skin tone being dark and matching mine (which I think I commented about already) this Casey seriously feels like looking into a mirror of myself from a few years ago. Both visually and mentally. It’s refreshing to see Korean characters that aren’t reduced to the asian standards of beauty, but still look like their ethnicity, because we absolutely DO exist. From my darker skin color to even my wide nose shape which I share with this Casey, I was told constantly as a kid (by other koreans mind you) that I didn’t ‘look korean enough’. So it’s nice to see those features that made me so insecure growing up presented in someone I admired during that same period of time. Even Casey’s hair looks so much like the cut I had/was forced to get (lol) growing up, down to the M shaped bangs. Though I wasn’t allowed to grow out my hair like Casey has in the back, it was something I always wanted to do as a kid. I even got into ice skating BECAUSE of Casey, like, I adore him so so much.

Though I’m lucky enough to have a family much healthier than Casey’s, I still found myself relating a lot to him in terms of his Korean-American identity. Growing up, my parents wanted me to learn as much English as possible as opposed to Korean, but they switched mindsets when it came to my younger sister (Yeah! i’ve also got a younger sister too, and by just EXTREME coincidence, she also has a similar sounding name Hae-in 해인) so she speaks a lot more Korean than I do. I still struggle a little bit when speaking conversational Korean, even though it’s technically my ‘first’ language lol. My family even calls me by my english name and my sister by her Korean name. I’m not sharing my legal name online, but i’ve got the same deal as Casey where I’ve got an English legal name, but also an unofficial korean name which was REALLY surprising to read, because literally none of my korean friends have the same name situation. Beyond little nit-picky things (that don’t even count as mistakes, really) in his conversations with his sister, you got the Korean conversations down really well (like, the cadence and grammar and stuff, idk how to explain it, but it really sounds like a conversation i might’ve had with my little cousins, just translated)

TLDR: i absolutely ADORE this Casey and I see just SO much of myself in him. He is wonderfully written as a character and you nailed his korean-american identity to a T (according to me and my personal experiences at least)

SORRY FOR THE RANT

:)

[docterzerocare]

Just read a very good joel centic fic with a very cool concept (Joel's Inferno by NiceCupOfAngst on ao3 go check it out fr) and a certain line has got my brain going

Joel and Scott are such foils, like its been known their connection with joel always trying to kill scott and the whole burning walls thing but also generally thinking about their relationships per seasons, they mirror eachother in a fascinating way (full disclosure this probably isnt a new thought but it just clicked in my brain ok lmao)

In 3rd life we establish joels lone wolf motif and start exploring his loneliness, having no one but his wolves really (only a few shoddy alliances that really dont last long), while scott gets married (and widowed which is connected in my brain but idk how to articulate rn)

In last life joel is arguably his loneliest, trying to have allies, friends, but the red haze cuts them short or not trustworthy, his longest allyship being made with red grian - while scott goes red out of loyalty to his allies (refusing to boogey kill them) and wins but alone (just him and his axolotl no one but his wolves)

Then double life is almost an inverse of their usual foiling, with joel finally having an ally that sticks around to the very end and scott having a more antagonistic soulbond, theres even something to be said about joel trying to save etho from the lava of the trapped portal but its too late, and scott sacraficing the win to pearl, both of their last actions being for anothers benefit but one fails (i feel like the ive connectes the dots meme frfr)

In limited life, we get joel wanting to sacrifice himself for a teammate but not getting to, and scott not intending to be a sacrafice (for once smh) but still being one for his teammate to win (also not really related but i kinda made the connection between the ll axolotl and 3l wolves before so my brain connected this too, fannon wise this is also a season where theyre very axolotl and wolf coded lol)

I havent actually finished their perspectives of secret life and i havent watched real life (yet) so i cant say much there so imma move on but you see the vision right

Anyway onto wildlife (from the perspective of someone who watched only joel and gems pov so far) theyre so connected like joel has gone all in on maintaining allies and being fiercely loyal to gem, like how scott in the first seasons prioritized loyalty to his allies, then joel brings attention to the fact that him always targeting scott dooms him so hes not going to do that - the fact that the seasons theyve won are the seasons theyve pulled attention to being loyal no matter the cost

Plus little bonus of them being allied with gem and pearl respectively and shiney duos whole situation

Idk if ive conveyed everything welk but yall see the vision right????

[nishitanis-left-nut]

at the beginning mitsu mentions how ichiban always holds back and lets whoever hes fighting land hits on purpose, and ichiban explains that its to keep things "fair," and mitsu responds with "i know how you fight hard when you wanna"

so i assumed ichiban was a beast like kiryu but just had his own moral code that just so happened to make him look weaker than he actually is, and i still think that but i also feel like by now they shouldve given us a scene of him either letting loose or showed us a glimpse of how strong he actually is?

the fight with majima and saejima would've been a great chance for that, in the last cutscene before arakawa and daigo come in they could've had a moment where ichi makes majima falter or takes saejima by surprise or something, and have them quickly and wordlessly acknowledge his strength by taking a stance and getting ready to "take things seriously" before getting interrupted by arakawa- and before you say "but nishitanis-left-nut, thats what happened in the scene" listen- what i mean is specifically ichiban getting a good hit in on either of the jimas and THAT being the catalyst for the shift in the fight

ichibans party is important to the overall plot and what not but i really feel like the game doesnt prioritize him as the protagonist in a lot of the cutscenes? you couldve gone into that fight with any combination of ichibans friends so why not give the final blow in the fight to him in the cut scene right after you win so that the victory does something for ichibans character? but it just hard cuts to majima wiping some blood from his mouth and then arakawa walks in before him and saejima can lock in

i get ichiban isn't kiryu but i thought they were setting him up to be an equally competent fighter that just so happened to enjoy fighting in his own way, and that involved getting his ass handed to him on purpose, kind of like a mix of what majima and kiryu get out of fighting and how they view it i mean look at him he does the majima pose and everything (im taking out the screenshots of him doing the majima pose cuz tumblr keeps saying this post needs a warning which no it doesn't????? the only thing i can think of that would warrant that is that hes shirtless in the picture but like its extremely sfw???)

YEA I DELETED THE PICTURES AND THE CONTENT WARNING WENT AWAY WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE WAS JUST STANDING THERE SHIRTLESS-

"the fact we havent had a scene where ichi "lets loose" in canon yet tho kind of makes me question how strong he actually is without his party. which isnt really a problem if thats what they were going for but i just wasn't really expecting this, especially with how mitsu talked about him at the start"

alright so uh, ive had this draft for a while and now that ive played a bit more by "let loose" i didnt mean i wanted to see him just senselessly beat up a man and have to be forcibly stopped from bashing his head in. he also got his ass handed to him by kiryu so we still havent really gotten a glimpse of how strong he supposedly is. under all the smiles and cheesy one liners ichibans a lose cannon with a really short fuse which is a pretty cool concept if they keep exploring it honestly

idk the action cut scenes in this game are also kinda weird, i think the most memorable so far for me were actually the ones in the fight with sawashiro after he kills the seiryu clan patriarch, him just fuking being so overtly dramatic through the whole thing was really fun to watch (also the majima and saejima combo attacks cuz theyre silly and theyre them)

"all of my ranting about this game so far can just be boiled down to "its different and not the type of different i was expecting so im having a hard time liking it" and thats real stressful"

again ive had this draft for a while, i really need to learn to just give things time to settle in cuz im having fun with it now (this development definitely had nothing to do with kiryu, trust) and im really hyped to keep playing and get a better grip on ichis personality cuz so far he still feels like a shonen protag, but theres bits and pieces here and there of Something Else and thats neat

[the-bonfires-ember]

ive been thinking about that thing people say about mental illness. yknow, 'its not a part of your personality' 'dont make it your identity' etc

but when you have a personality disorder, that doesnt really make sense anymore.

which makes my feelings on cluster b pride flags a little conflicted. coz, sure, it is fundamentally a part of your personality and certainly shapes your identity, but something about pride flags has always been off to me. perhaps especially as a person with aspd.

now, sure, on the one hand i get it. theres something appealing about having that kind of validation that you arent alone, especially when you are constantly masking and shifting who you are to fit the situation best.

we might have antisocial personality disorder but we are still, at our core, social creatures. we still desire community, we're just also afraid of it.

so yeah, a banner of community and others 'like us' seems fair enough, right?

BUT

theres still something... off to me about it. what it was, exactly, only came to me after a discussion with my partner about DID and PluralKit - yeah i know, im diving into plural drama now, lfg i guess

they showed me an infographic about the process of DID recovery which showed the progression from very disconnected and separated identities to a more blended 'final fusion' (a term they take issue with but thats a different story). i said that PluralKit must be confusing for people on the later ends of the spectrum they were showing me because, at that point, how do you tell who is blending with who? when the lines are blurry, how do you know who to tag yourself as? it seemed like an inhibitor to recovery if you were constantly cutting yourselves off from each other. (this is not me saying anything one way or the other about plurals and recovery in DID or whatever the fuck else, im just using this as an example. stfu i dont care about your opinions on any of this so dont waste your breath)

i think my feelings on aspd flags is somewhat similar. coz i mean, they are pride flags, right? and i think if you are taking pride in being aspd then you are far more likely to lean into your symptoms, and i think thats a slippery slope to go down and has just a very 'anti-recovery' vibe, if you know what i mean.

with that all said, i also very much think that if you dont want to recover, you dont have to. i dont think you can force anyone to recover and i dont think you should even try to. recovery is fucking shit and its hard and if you arent ready for it, you are just going to hurt whoever you are trying to make recover.

but i also think that you can have that opinion, whilst also being a voice for recovery, and be against 'anti-recovery' thinking.

because look, like it or not aspd is a fucking disorder. and at some point that becomes unhelpful or it wouldnt be a disorder. symptoms of aspd are debilitating and pretending otherwise that helps nobody. especially with all the 'all pwASPD are evil' scum out there.

so yes, i think the pride flags are... unhelpful at best and harmful at worst. but what about the other stuff? the creatures alla tbh creature and the plushiedreadful rabbit? (i think both of those designs suck btw but thats not the point)

idk those feel like they are in a different category. theres not really a sense of pride in those, more a sense of comfort. again, community, but also a sort of softness(??) that the pride flag things seem to miss - especially when they are like 'vampire aspd' or 'evil aspd' or any of the other bullshit things ive seen out there. i guess they are also just way more 'mental illness' coded than pride flags are.

pride flags have always been a 'we're here and theres nothing wrong with us' kind of thing. but the creatures and the bears are more lighthearted and sort of making fun of the conditions a little bit. highlighting symptoms and coping mechanisms. just look at the imocreature - specifically the worm one which is my favourite - and the way its able to be so pathetic looking and cute. its not meant to be cool or badass or whatever else, its just a lil guy that gets sad without supply.

which, yknow, relatable.

[freakenomenon]

Just wanted you to know that every time I remember you exist I get uncontrollably possessed by the urge to draw more mouse Ellen but I've been thinking of looking for a specific mouse species for her first which I was supposed to do like last month but I kept falling asleep</3

Anyway infodump time because uhh why not???? I did come up with a mouse for AM a while back though and I have been considering putting more thought into my self-indulgent IHNMAIMSqueak AU that exists solely for combining my special interest (mice) and IHNMAIMS where he tries testing transferring his 'conscience'(???) (being???) (code???) to a mouse because he doesn't want to waste time trying to construct a whole ass body only for it to not work but it ends up working too well and now he's stuck as a mouse and in my mind it's a BALB/c scid mouse (thus the design being albino) because male BALB/c scid mice tend to be aggressive and scid specifically because they're bred to be immunocompromised and it felt pretty AM to me, although lab mice in general remind me of AM. I also considered NOD scid, NSG, and c57bl/6 but I think I'll stick with BALB/c scid. I also considered him being a texel (curly haired) mouse because they go through unethical breeding as well (poor things) but again, I think BABLB/c scid works nicely. ALSO!! A detail that I really like is that mouse AM doesn't have whiskers and this is because whiskers are very soo so important in a mouse's sensory experience and AM lacks that so I wanted that to be painfully obvious lol

I'm considering either having AM also turn the survivors into mice as well so he isn't alone in his squeakiness buuut I'm leaning more towards him not being able to do much in a mousey body I'm not a hundred percent sure

Okay ramble over mb runs away

I was going to drop a little rodent in here called a dormouse (which isn't actually a mouse but people just loooove giving random rodents the name mouse or rat for some reason???) but Tumblr is being a little shit right now so that's all enjoy your day Idk

I would help you on your journey with mouse ellen considering this should be an easy job for me. i am the Ellen guy. But there is one eensy weensy problem.

i know nothing about mice. and i am not about to embarrass myself with my surface level plebian mouse knowledge in front of the cool mouse mutual.

on the other hand , your au and your mention of lab mice ( cutest au name ever BTW ) actually reminded me of my IHNMAIMS au because it is incredibly vaguely based on the short story: Flowers for Algernon.

uhh if you, or anyone reading, is/are unaware. "Algernon" is the name of a lab mouse in the short story, who is meant to be a direct parallel to the main character Charlie ( Charles ) Gordon. a mentally disabled man born with a low IQ who undergoes the same experimental procedure as Algernon to artificially increase his intelligence. ive always thought of you ever since I read this story cause. mouse.

it's actually like a really good commentary on the dehumanization of mentally disabled people. and is just , all around a pretty good story. THATS BESIDES THE POINT.

uhh i don't know what else to say I kind of just yapped at you and wanted to tell you abt the thing i find cool. because i think you are cool

here is one of my favorite paragraphs from the story ( blurred out the derogatory term for personal comfort )

ok bye

[stitchwraith-stingers]

HIIII do you have any jasmine x hazel hcs? :))

-🌈🌧

omgggggg hi. i made an old post about this here u can see those theyre aged up to high school / adult abit in those, i havent been cooking since ive dabbled into other interests recently and i havent rewatched the show but theyre always rotating in my head but ill try for u

jasmine is def a fan artist... she makes everyone in her class a fursona and she showed it to hazel and she adopted it.... they have matching icons n everything.... jasmine is a type of sparklecat meanwhile hazel is a german shepheard...... idk on the last one though but either way i think its funny how much they contrast, jasmine probably has a fursuit head and paws for pictures and going to conventions

actually i think they match pfps all the time. theyre like omg those characters r so us and just put them for atleast 3 weeks

aro4aro les4les autism4adhd they have no idea what theyre doing half the time but its something and i keep making characters best friends+

hazel is easily grossed out irl by certain stuff.... shes a werid girl but she cant handle like organs or anything, jasmine too but shes braver so she does the disections in science (winn has the weakest stomach hey always get sent home lol), they also watch horror movies together frequently

jasmine can cook. hazel cant. in short:

hazel has THE most niche hyperfixes ever. like theyre gonna be so random and they keep changing rlly quickly. she walks up to her and goes wanna hear about wood or ants or something

eye contact heavy vs avoids eye contact. kinda awkward half of the time

i dont rlly see them having a kid in the future, they probably have a pet, like a cat or dog or something. but if they did they wouldve probably called her lily bcuz i already made her anyway (shes a fish girl who doesnt gaf)

(self indulgent crossover au stuff below not rlly important in the long run though i just thought about them idk)

theyre def such a code breaking couple. shadowclan / ex kittypet and windclan? medic and warrior apprentices?? crazy

jasminepaw has had like. a vauge connection to the dark forest, no one ever came to train her or anything she just kept walking around every night she got it untill she almost got drowned by someone, she just brought it up one day like hey do u ever dream of a scary forest and u freaked out everyone sleeping next to u bcuz u were drowning and hazelpaw goes ????? no? (<- petrified)

jasminepaw gives her rabbits once in a while. inspite of the shadowclan pray hazelpaw doesnt like eating toads and such, she likes mice instead, shes not very sure on the taste of rabbit but its a better alternative atleast

their full names r hazelwish and jasmineshine!!! the latter wanted the -song prefix and boasted abt it but it never happened, obviously lol

hmm... couldnt think of any wof ones rip, i dont wanna keep u waiting longer then u should, go my scarab

[metfell]

Whats your favourite design quirk for each of cbench? I always love hearing how these things came to be !!

allow me to pull up some of my art for you and i will ramble- oh my god it has been literally so long since ive done colored artwork i am so sorry everyone wow the depression is visible i see. ANYWAYS.

so its funny trying to talk about designs when so much of how i draw them is just "this is ctommy but in a different outfit" so ill go into stuff that is always visible on them

i think my favorite consistency is ctubbos mismatched horns, its something that i think signifies it as My Tubbo Design. i saw a picture of a highland cow back in 2021 and i thought it fit him perfectly and ive never gone back ever since then. i started drawing tubbo as more butchy recently mainly because of boss and his source stuff to be perfectly honest, he has a lot going on in there. but its fun to take a character who is very often like... twink-ified? and make him into a stone dyke butch. well, idk if hes twink-ified these days, but back in 2021-2022 he sure was. i think giving tubbo a wider build- something these two images dont rlly do but whatever we'll work with it- is really great as a visual signifier for being guarded. hes a square hes got his massive snowchester coat on with its big furry coat and his hair covers his eyes and hes got a laurel wreath to signify coming home from war/being victorious in battle/etc. and he wasnt always a moobloom much like my little fic talked about, he used to be a human but the firework explosion fucked him up so bad the server had to stitch him back together with code from mobs. so the server grows a laurel on him and the server hardens him and tries to make him more resilient for the next fight.

i got insane abt tubbo let me move on to ranboo. i have so much fun drawing ranboo i really enjoy playing around with hair length and horn shape and leg anatomy etc. i used to be a fan of the straight split down the middle of their halves but i just love the mottled look so much i have to do that, mainly because i think it makes an artwork look a bit more polished for my own standards for myself. a lot of my ranboo design is an exercise in balance. his halves are black on the left white on the right, so his hair is flipped to make it more interesting, i give them the classic metfell hair flip because a)ranboolives hair moves like that already, and b)it lets me play around with giving them a little crown on the opposite sides horn. also i give them a bolo tie because i dont think cranboo can actually tie a regular tie if im being so forreal. and they have puffy sleeves because i think it adds to the fact that theyre not really a fighter like the others. though cranboo can hold their own and are a literal blacksmith constantly mining and smelting ores and making people armor sets, theyre not KNOWN for fighting, and so giving them an outfit that is not suited for fighting can reflect that.

when it comes to tommy i am always changing up how i draw him. im really attached to the long braid though, and im a classic butterfly clip ctommy enjoyer i think its fun and ppl who hated it were annoying as fuck. i think my favorite thing about drawing ctommy is that i give him gauges- very small ones but gauges nonetheless because cwilbur got them and he wanted to match early on. he never actually went through the process of stretching but he does have them in. and when i draw older ctommy i like to draw him like hes early on estrogen i think its really fun. same with tubbo i like to draw him like hes early on T. theyre transing together :]

[littlemissshifter]

hello hello, hope you're doing well

i read your distraction method and i realised that i unintentionally did it before last year i wasn't trying to shift or get into the void state i was just really upset and i was meditating and just doing my own thing so i kept repeating a verse from the song i was listening to that day and i literally got so close im pretty sure I reached a state of detachment (i still have my notes from that day for reference) i intentionally got out of the state before anything more could happen because i got excited or scared im not sure and i never tried it again because i didn't know what did it for sure

but this is why i know the method is going to work for me because it already did

but here's the thing yesterday when i read the method and decided to do it i suddenly got really scared and i don't know if this is the right thing to do but i think i shouldn't just gaslight myself into thinking im not scared because that's what ive always been doing and i feel like it just pushes my fears and doubts deep down instead of getting rid of them so i decided to start acknowledging them and come to terms with them idk if this is right but it feels right to me

it was this that made me realize that i was scared of actually potentially shifting or manifesting because of how real it's gonna be and it's gonna freak me out being in another universe i only ever dreamed of, also there's the thought of do i really deserve these things and if i achieve them are they gonna be real not in the literal meaning i know they're real that way but in the sense of i just gave myself those things like i used a cheat code so did i really get those things idk if this makes any sense (english isn't my first language) but i really wanna know what you think im sorry for the long essay lol also im new to all this stuff so forgive my lack of knowledge and thought process

hii!

It's good that you acknowledged those thoughts. It's the right thing to do.

You need to realise that you're not going there all of the sudden, you've always existed there. It is your home in that reality. Make yourself familiar with your dr by doing small things here and knowing that in that dr you do all this stuff too.

Regarding feeling guilty I understand but it's not your fault that you know about this. It is a natural process of how things come to be you're not using a cheat code. You're being you. This is how things are supposed to be. Be grateful that you know. Other people can know about this too. It's not a secret. But it's that person's choice if they want to know more or not. It's not on you. Only focus on your reality.

[orangewsunglasses]

ok listen

i've always liked chuuya as a character, his design is awesome, i love his personality, the dynamics he has with ither characters, all that good stuff right??? In general i just really love chuuya, but only having the main series to go off of, i didn't know much about his character nor did i really understand him very well

BUT, halfway now through storm bringer, i can safely say he is genuinely my favorite character in bsd. Reading it has exposed so much more of his character, and ive been able to marinate in my thoughts about him for a while now.

Now, again, im only a bit more than halfway through, so my thoughts and opinions are probably going to change. But i can't see how chuuya ISNT human. Like, okay, fine, he was born from a lab, from a singularity, he's the splitting image of an actual boy that "was chuuya" before chuuya was born. But I can't see how any of that matters when the life he is currently living is so painfully human.

That anger isn't just arahabaki, that's his own fucking emotion. That loneliness and betrayal and all of that shit is not just some sort of product of code. He is feeling all of those human emotions viscerally, and if you ask me, that makes him human.

He is so stuck between blaming himself for everything and seeing how many things were just simply out of his control, and I think that divide is showed with his friends in the mafia and The Sheep. One side doesn't blame him for anything, they never did. Their deaths were not chuuya's fault, no matter the reason verlaine was after them. How could chuuya know? The Sheep on the other hand, more specifically shirase, blame him for a lot. The fact that chuuya was taken in by them is lorded over him, and the whole "chuuya betrayed the sheep" is well, idk man, bullshit??? it was never chuuya's intent to destroy and leave behind the sheep, he always meant to protect them. Then there's Dazai, who seems to be the only one to see and understand him. I've barely reached the part of storm bringer where he comes back to "see Chuuya suffer as a human", (that line fucking KILLED me) so i dont have much comment on him rn.

I just srsly had to say how much i really truly love chuuya's character now. He will always be human, fuck being born in a lab. I know im saying nothing new, but I can yap all I want, ranting to myself about this was not enough and i needed to go to tumblr lol

tldr; chuuya is human and i bleed for him what the actual hell

[sadie-bug345]

dallas winston’s last chance for change

this is a little less goofy as my usual shit but i just wanted to talk about dally and so called “last chance for change” characters.

this kinda feeds into my pet peeve of seeing the gang with “stay gold” somewhere nearby cause the saying “stay gold” jus doesn’t apply to everyone. it strictly applies to ponyboy cause he is the only one STILL gold😭😭like do yall understand the quote

anyways i been reading the book How to Read Lit like a Professor for school which sometimes is helpful but other than that its honestly kinda annoying to read ngl. in a recent chapter, the author referenced a short story and mentioned how one character in that, among many in the world of books, is a “last chance for change” typa guy

and like we do with hyperfixations, i was like hmmmm how can i relate this to THE OUTSIDERS👹 and i was like oh duh this is so dally winston lana del rey vinyl coded

anyways the author and said professor of the book says “the character, sufficiently old to have experienced a number of opportunities to grow, to reform, to get it right, but of course he never has, is presented with one more chance, one last opportunity to educate himself in this most important area…”

blah blah blah

if that aint dallas tucker winston, idk what is. another quote from that godforsaken book is as follows: “the reason hes older is just the opposite of why the quester is typically younger: his possibilities for growth are limited and time is running out”

ive always thought about how dallas cant change for the better all thru the book up until the church. and i think dallas did know that helping people does a lot of good. his whole blowup at the end where he dies is cause he cant deal with change in general. he could always trust that the gang would be there for him but the second stuff starts getting messed up, he goes wacko

pony could deal with loss and grief and trauma to the best of his ability (well, better than dally💀) cause he had a built in support system with his brothers. dallas had no one to call family by blood so he chose his friends.

dallas in general couldnt handle the conflicting expectations placed on him by society so he did everything in his power to defy them and have some sort of control in causing chaos.

he was really just put in a pressure cooker his whole life and he just ended up digging himself deeper and deeper into his own grave.

sometimes death is easier than dealing with yourself.

THAT WAS DARK UHM ANYWAYS REQUEST GOOFY OR ROMANTIC OR PLATONIC HCS OR IMAGINES OR ANYTHING IDRK OK BYE🥰🫶

[prestonmonterey]

intro

!! plz dont send me chain asks !!

(pronouns page is linked on there but also here if you dont wanna look for it:)

ok so uhh basically the gist of it

hi

im preston

uhh for names call me preston or pres or squid or orion or jaxon or actually just whatever you want i dont mind (more on my prounouns page) (if we're friends/moots feel free to gimme a nickname if ya want)

pronouns are it/he/they (the order of preference changes from time to time also neos are alright just anything other than she/her)

fandoms im most active in: varian and the seven kingdoms/tangled the series, camp here and there (will wood too!!), adamandi, the art of pleasing princes, starkid, spies are forever and percy jackson (mostly the musical bc im in a production of it :)

you can always interact with me! apparently im intimidating but i swear im really nice (i think) and id be really happy if you sent an ask at any time :3 i promise i wont get annoyed even if you think youre being annoying i just really like interacting with cool people :3

you can tag me in anything and everything! i promise ill look at it :3 and i try my best to do tag games and stuff (lmk if you dont want me to tag ya) but if i dont uhh, just assume i was like, really tired that day, or ive been tagged by another moot in that game before and im too lazy to dig it up :P sry

uhh im a minor too so like nsfw/18+ blogs dni

i try my best to use tone tags but if i forget and you need them please let me know!! (i also find tone tags helpful for myself) :3

theres more info on my card about like other stuff too

tag key:

#marble musings = original posts

#marble monologues = long posts/reblogs usually about chnt or just like existentialism idk

#marble draws = art/fanart/crafts/cosplay type thing

#marble games = i make games on google forms! hoping to learn to code or get an actual game engine to make full games past like choose your own adventures

#marble music = song covers :3 (yes i have all the filtered instrumentals i used for adamandi, lmk if you want them i can send em over discord or something)

#marble asks = answering stuff in my ask box

i think thats all of them :3 might add more eventually, and sometimes i forget to tag properly so sorry about that :(

i have some sideblogs if you wanna check em out (not super active on them but ill still try to respond if you shoot me an ask)

hatchetfield rp sideblogs: @thelilcloverpatch @fading-angelic-starlight @marble-man @honey-sparrow @ivy-wreathed-arches

and @hatchetfield-bone-thief

theyre all dead and uhh tw for spookies and violence and blood and sh and ritualistic sacrifice

active gimmicky blog: @tamadaily (tamagotchi daily blog thing)

i have a couple other blogs but those are secret :D