#ive decided to finally remove it from my drafts

[0p1er0]

perhaps Swap for blurbo bingo?

Og post (X) (we don't even talk about how old this is)

[dandeleon]

BONUS POST ABT MY ADIPOCERE & URAPOCERE AMVS BC I FEEL LIKE YAPPING 😋 HASHTAG AUTISM

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hiiii first of all tysm for all the nice tags & comments on both of these it genuinely means the world 2 me ^_^🩷🩷🩷🩷yay

(theres some specific tags i talk abt & look at further at the bottom of this post ^_^)

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ok first if u read the tags on my adipocere animation u remember i said ive had the idea 4 them since august Which is true

so heres some stuff ive made b4 i realized i could make my own amvs

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this picture uve probably seen i drew it back in like october?? I think?????

i dont like this as much anymore i wanna redraw it someday maybe

BUT

did u know i made another one with urapocere ford 2 parallel that one

it was gonna be in the same post as the other one but i didn't like how it turned out sooo it got scrapped

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theres also this i made in early december

i think i planned on posting this but i forgor lol

feel free 2 read it all bc it still stands & is like the basis for my animations lol

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theres also this

which i made in ms like a day or 2 before starting my animation & ended up re-using it 2 make this part:

also heres some early parts of the adipocere one:

^ this one i was planning on using which is why its coloured and animated but then i realized it looked like ass so i redid it����

^ early ver of the beginning (threres an extra frame in the walk cycle here i think? i dont think i kept the 7th one in lol)

^early ver of uras beginning

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heres some specific frames i like too ^_^

i think the expressions in these turned out rlly good :) esp the ford one.. my only goal for that one was to make him look like he was having the absolute worst time of his life & i think i did pretty good on that front lol

i have more but i hit the image limit LOL

anyways to finish my yap sesh off heres the last part of both animations side by side bc they parallel eachother & i think its neat :)

(hi its leon from the future, i lied here ur only halfway through this post sorry)

actually im gonna come back to this on my laptop & add more stuff maybe

if the post ends here its either bc i forgot to remove this text or tumblr decided to post this for me while trying save as draft

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heyyy im on my laptop now ^_^ and also wondering why i didnt do it on here on the first place bc this is where all my images for this are anyways lmao

anyways!

heres more frames n stuff that i like

(most of these r from the urapocere one because that one ended up being a lot more polished)

^ frame by frame of that one part towards the end

my favs of these 4 are first & last one esp the last one i really like how that one came out ough.. the hand ended up looking rlly good imo (im a sucker for nicely drawn hands)

some particular frames from the final part i like :]

some i like bc i think they came out nice some i like cause they look goofy w/o context

an adi one!!!!

this is just that one part w/o the bg & harsh lighting

OTHER ONES!!!!!!

1: bord from the begining clip i like (theres another one i like from the same clip ill see if i can find it in my sea of folders l8r)

2: from the part near the end. i think it ended up looking cute (which was unintentional but i still like it)

3: blizzard ford (blizzardless edition)

4: fidds! i like this one :) im also running out of things to say

ALMOST FORGOR 2 PUT THIS ONE from adi

this ones probably my fav part from the whole adi amv tbh i think it turned out nice

moar fiddleford

heres that other bord one i mentioned ^_^ idky i just like how this one ended up looking lol

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EXTRA SECTION BC THIS TAG MADE ME POG SO HARD

I DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THAT BUT IT FITS SO WELL AUGHHHHH

thank u person who added this tag ur going unamed bc i dont wanna put u on blast but ur tags on both posts made me smiles so big like. u get it🤝 u get what i was going for 🤝🤝🙏🙏🙏

i have more tags from these posts i wanted 2 add but apparently i hit the image limit :( sad

so im just gonna like vaguely mention them since i cant add images

another thing ppl tagged in the ura one was the yellow text changing the meaning to bill & i NEED u to know that was semi-unintentional. i literally just made the text yellow at the end so people didnt misinterpret that as ford saying it being like "thank GOD fiddlefart died i couldnt stand his ass lmao😂🙏" but thank you for making it look like i had a cool meaning behind it LOL. i think the concept of like it being something ford DID say about fiddleford when he quit the project & bill is repeating it back to him after finding fiddleford dead to torment him is a really cool idea actually waow.....

hold on im gonna be really normal abt that bc i think thats such a interesting way to interpret the lyrics.... like fiddleford left & ford was like "WHATEVER im finally free now without HIM around. hes gonna be looking at me enviously when IM the one with MY name and MY name ALONE on the nobel prize!!!!" & bill repeating those statements back when fiddleford is dead like "this is what u wanted!!! u wanted this!! ur free now!!!!" UGHH THATS SO COOL AND OR FUCKED UP ACTUALLY thank u to the ppl who tagged that im taking this interpretation & running with it i genuinely think its so cool omgggg

like i said in the tags of the urapocere post the lyrics were originally meant to fit fords warped view of fiddleford right after he quit the project but the mv leaves it kinda up to interpretation of whos saying what to who. my personal interpretation while making it was its kind of a mix of ford to fiddleford, ford to bill & bill to fiddleford and/or ford & literally any combination of those work i think tbh. choose ur own adventure who was the biggest hater there

also some tags on the adi one were interpreting where fidds was dragging ford to & i wanna say my personal vision of it was fiddleford kinda just finds fords body lying in the snow in the woods maybe (dont ask why fiddleford would be there.. idk cult things maybe..) and fiddlefords feels obligated to bring him back to the lab so he doesnt freeze to death (he wouldve just erased him & fords memory of it anyways) which is a bit ironic cuz fiddleford is the one who froze to death LMAO (and maybe ford did too idk... you decide)

another thing this goes back to that image towards the top of this post where i yapped abt the songs n how well they fit with fiddauthor & i wanna specifically talk abt the line talking abt icarus because??? oh my god????? literally i think that line alone is like half the reason i associate this song w/ fiddauthor so heavily bc its literally them??? fiddleford literally compares ford 2 icarus in j3 like... its too perfect..

that line alone is also the reason i added english captions to both of them i just wanted ppl to see the icarus line LMAO

another line i also mentioned in that pic was the one telling the other person to forget it all even their face & i think its pretty obvious why that one fits LOL

(feel free to add more thoughts abt them w/ these songs if u have any ^_^)

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anyways. adipocere is my fav song ever & for the past few months ive been doing that thing where u imagine an amv in ur head to a song u like & im very happy i can like. actually look at them now. making these were alot of fun :]

i do have a LOT of personal nitpicks with these (ESP the first one) but that also might just be cause im the guy who had to make it frame by frame LOL

(one minor one is fords skintone in urapocere ended up a bit more grey than i wanted but also he is like. in the middle of being possessed & tortured by a whole ass demon soo. it works i suppose LOL [makes him look zombie-ish])

also i thought making these amvs would make me less insane abt associating these songs w/ fiddauthor but tbh i think i just strengthened it LMAO

Sorry if literally nothing in this post makes any sense im just typing shit 😭🙏

i was gonna add more in tags but it wont let me add anymore so i think that might be a sign to stfu now LMAO

[sageglitch]

okay so this is by no means a "final draft" by my standards but i had a class assignment to make an opening credits sequence to a film and i tried to visualize creating one for @mothercain's preacher's daughter album if it was a film. tried the best i could with the videos i could find from youtube and created this shit from scratch so hope you enjoy <3 (also yea i made this a few months ago but i forgot my tumblr login until today so finally i can post on here again)

more info:

i wanted it to have something like a late 90s early 2000s straight to vhs movie, hence all the static and shit, and i wanted to mix together a lot of scenery of old backwater towns i spent a lot of time driving through since ive lived in the south basically my whole life. i didnt have a lot of footage i made that i could use but thankfully there was a guy on youtube who's entire channel is basically driving through these unseen towns so if i can ever remember his channels name i will give credits to him for those clips. i also spent a lot of time in old baptist church's since i was a choir kid, (including an old one in MS that still had the upper levels from slavery/jim crow era), but even the newer ones i went to in texas had this very haunting and forgotten feeling to them even though they were being actively used. as for the sound mixing, i was originally going to have this project be a lot longer so the clips didnt feel as fast and the music would have this really cool doubling effect between Family Tree (Intro) and Family Tree synched up perfectly, but my professor made me trim down the project from about 4-5 minutes to the length it's at now, so i had to unfortunately remove that and re-mix the audio to just Family Tree (Intro) and Strangers.

now, for the meat industry clips. basically, i knew there was no way i would be able to do outright gore, and i particularly didnt want to, as i felt it wouldnt unsettle the audience as much as i would want, and rather would just disgust them. so i decided, with my bundles of knowledge on the meat packing industry from the novel The Jungle, it would serve very well to unsettle the audience and mix together these ideas of a sacrificial lamb being no more than a piece of meat to the ones who sacrifice for the joy of sacrifice and not for the meaning behind it (if that makes sense). these clips were free-use sourced from old ass documentaries i found on youtube about the chicago meat packing industry primarily, and i think it does a good job at adding to the horror side element without being outright gratuitous.

and of course, many of the clips come from ethel's youtube as well, though id imagine you can tell which ones those are. there was a lot of content i found from her youtube, and i later found some older clips that no longer are posted on hayden's channel, but i figured i'd rather stick with the one's she has available as to not draw attention to clips she might not want people seeing.

theres also a few clips from possibly in michigan in there. one, because i love possibly in michigan. two, because it does a lot to add to this older film/vhs ambiance that i tried to recreate (very shittily mind you. i dont know how to use after effects very well).

hope you enjoy <3

[exonerin]

what part made the upload schedule bad? was it just a lot of pressure or just a lot of writing at once?

Thank you so much for the question!

Oh no. I've done this a few times now, so I knew how much I needed to prepare beforehand. The fic was mostly finished when I began posting. I only needed to wrap up the final chapter and reread each chapter one final time before posting it each day.

My problem was that I didn't like my original chapter 6. And so I decided to overhaul the second half of chapter 6 after posting the second chapter. Then, chapter 7 no longer made sense, so I had to rewrite that one, too.

And to top if off, I suddenly didn't like the end of my original plot outline anymore (if you're wondering why Obi-Wan asks Anakin to go on a walk through the gardens in chapter 8, which is then never referenced again? That's the exact spot where the final plot divergence takes place).

This is also the reason, I needed an extra chapter 8 for this fic.

I didn't take full rewrites into account in my upload schedule. Or DAUNTLESS. I had vaguely pointed out I might skip a week, but I decided against that. Which put a lot of things on my plate. In real life, I've been working overtime, which cut into the writing time!

In Pursuit Of You couldn't wait, though. I wrote it partly to cheer someone up. And this couldn't wait. Moreover, I wasn't going to skip a chapter either after telling there would be daily updates.

I don't typically get the chance to talk about all the takes that don't make the final cuts. So, let me treat you to three times the plot changed drastically:

Chapter 6: Obi-Wan's reaction to Anakin's implicit love declaration. The part where Anakin and Obi-Wan meet with Windu and Yoda didn't exist in the first draft. They went to Ipsol IV immediately, and Obi-Wan kept a careful distance between them. I changed this because it made no sense. Moreover, it would put me in a corner. Any change to Obi-Wan's attitude would be too sudden.

Elder Winib and the Great Halls of Ipsol In the first draft, Obi-Wan and Anakin went to their chamber after the lunch. Elder Winib was a lousy male representative from the commerce guild instead. This introduced too much politics. So, I had to remove the world building, though I did refer to some life saplings etc. There's still a weird thing to this fic where there's just enough worldbuilding for Ipsol IV to make it feel imbalanced. A lot of information that no longer returns because I axed it (Anakin's affinity with droids). Anyway, the results was that I either had to skip the mission or change it. Since I still planned to write the garden scene and Obi-Wan being jealous with more forehead kisses, I couldn't skip it. So, now you get this weird middle ground where I likely would change it in hindsight. However, at the time, I was still determined to get back on track.

The gardens This is the final and most hilarious one. Obi-Wan was going to help Anakin get the representative/Elder Winib off his back by pretending to be spouses. While Anakin is in the gardens, Elder Winib would follow him. Since Anakin still has Obi-Wan's lightsaber, Obi-Wan would notice he was stressed and come to the rescue. And Obi-Wan would kiss him in the maze to fool Elder Winib (this was the originally planned M rated scene). However, as I wrote it, it felt too contrived. There's a limit to how presistent Elder Winib can be before it turns silly. And this fic is self-indulgent, but I still want it to make some sense. It just didn't flow smoothly. Moreover, I needed them to talk. So, Anakin joined Obi-Wan instead to make a love declaration (as Obi-Wan communicates with Anakin in terms Anakin can understand, Anakin has to do the same.) The main point, however, is that they would be in the gardens. And I have received some light complaints about people dying from second-hand embarrassment when Anakin and Obi-Wan get overly familiar in somewhat public spaces. And I wanted to spare the masses, so I put them back in their spaceship.

TL;DR: I really started rambling about unrelated matters, but basically the reason it was tough was due to me spontaneously deciding to rewrite a big chunk of the fic from scratch.

[saintship]

Can i request Reader being almost blown up on the mission and their face is almost completely burnt/scarred??😢When they wake up and see their red face covered in bandaids and oils they just break down and decide to wear a mask from now on. And Konig seeing them doesn't know what's going on until he accidentally notice how they pulled up their mask a little to eat. Pleaseee😭 I've hard this idea for days. Can it be with fluff at the end? LOVE YOUR WORK SM

THANK YOU !!

OH MY GOD SAINTSHIP ABOUT FUCKING TIME

this has been ROTTING in my drafts I am so sorry anon, also got a little carried away at the end but nothing spicy just big feels

I really hope you enjoy

I love this idea it’s so fitting for König, I feel he’s very observant given how little he draws attention to himself.

Mask

König x gn!Reader - call sign: Radar

Life around the base could be monotonous. Being in one place usually meant paperwork, meals, paperwork, sparring or group lessons, more paperwork, passing out in your bunk, and doing it all again.

It was different, however, when all of this is happening directly after a loss. And not just losing the fight, but losing many of their soldiers. It was the young men, some no older than 20, losing their lives in the explosions that no one predicted that shook the 141 especially. Their only solace was that they managed to save you.

The air around you was burning hot, flakes of ash floating to singe the gaps of skin they could access. You crawled desperately on your stomach underneath a scorched truck, trying to make your way to the others.

“RADAR, COPY!”

A flaming piece of rubble tumbled next to you, making you jump.

“I’m—I’m on my way..”

“By the east bridge where we came in, you got that?”

Ghosts assuring tone rang faintly in your ears. Finally, you crawled out into a open area, stumbling in the direction of the bridge. The truck there flashed its headlights.

“Move it, private!”

“Yes sir..”

Before you made it a hundred yards, the engine in the car beside you exploded, blasting your body to one side and scalding the right side of your face in flames.

“RADAR!”

Your head smacked the dirt, and the world around you blurred until it was dark.

“Wrap their face!”

“Bampots, these fucks are.”

Soap’s voice cut through the fog that seemed to fill your ears.

“Speak—english.” Your rough voice caught the attention of the truck you lay in, Gaz quickly finishing up wrapping your face. He left as much room as he could, but all that showed in the end was your left eye and mouth.

“Lass..” Soap ignored your taunt, moving to kneel at your side.

“Hi.” Your voice sounded unlike yourself.

Soap’s attention was suddenly pulled to the back of the truck as it rolled to a stop. He darted to swing them open, revealing a few members of Las Almas.

“We’re understaffed on medics, but Rudy’s got basic medical training from boot.” Price explained. “Are you stayin’ awake okay?”

You nodded, the movement stinging your face and scalp, but as he said those words it was like he’d called it—the interior of the truck was dotting quickly in dark spots. Rudy’s gloved hand touching your shoulder was all you felt, and you slipped under again.

This time, it wasn’t voices that woke you. It was the incessant beeping of a heart rate monitor at your side. They’d brought you to the med unit on base—you were home. After taking in the sterile room, your head fell back against the pillow again, exhausted. Fresh gauze plastered most of your face, but the skin underneath felt dry. You needed a change.

Carefully setting down the fingertip pulse monitor on the bedside table, you guided your IV stand over to the mirror and sink, sifting through the drawers for gauze and burn ointment. After retrieving the right tools, you hesitate before removing your wraps. Your good eye seemed as though the color had dulled—the dark circles underneath especially prominent. Your lips were slathered in ointment, but the damage was evident. Breathing deeply, you began to unwrap the gauze. Your eyes remained trained on the sink until the last piece fell into the basin, only then lifting your eyes to the mirror.

No. No, no..

The right half was—gone. It was hard to describe; the skin that had been there before was rendered to an angry scarlet. The tissue pulled and tightened oddly, your right eye missing it’s eyelashes and eyebrow. A sob ripped from your throat involuntarily. Your face contorting from the crying caused pain to tear through your head while your tears stung the affected areas. You hardly registered a nurse coming in, leading you to lie back down, and re-wrapping your head through your protest. One sentiment rang clear through your breaking down;

You could not show this face anymore.

Which brought you to now. Sitting alone, hunched up in the corner of the cafeteria, quickly lifting your balaclava only to put food in your mouth before covering it just as quickly. It had only been a few days—the others knew to leave you be. The 141 sat in a group not far from you, one of them sneaking a glance every so often. You seemed to shrink into yourself, as though you could disappear if you cowered enough.

König wandered into the cafeteria not long after you’d sat down, sitting by himself to eat. You felt a little creepy people watching, knowing you resembled a certain intimidating member of the task force, but found nothing better to do.

König rid of his tray after eating quickly, going over to the 141 after Soap cheerfully called him over. You smiled at his inclusiveness, which deepened when König pointed to himself curiously. Even though smiling pulled at the tender muscle, you didn’t care.

König was pulled into a seat by Soap’s arm, the sight of such a smaller man strong-arming him rather ridiculous.

“Leave him be, Christ, Johnny.” Price picked at his tray, shaking his head at the soldier.

“I’m being friendly, sir.” Soap defended himself, relieving König of his arm.

“Friendliest in the military, aye?” Ghost murmured, lifting his mask to drink out of his canteen.

“Pride myself on it.”

“You’re diggin’ your grave, mate.” Gaz grinned.

“Oi, you-"

“Moving on!” Price grunted, to which Soap sat back and sulked at his refusal to let him argue.

“That was impressive the other day, König. Pulling a truck together and findin’ someone to treat Radar? You saved their life.”

König studied the grain of the tabletop, heat rising up his neck. “Danke. I still don’t know—what happened? They still look..scared.” König snuck a glance at you. Your fleeting eyes and hunched shoulders made his heart break. Seeing someone so determined, so welcoming, so gracious and funny and kind, reduced to a frightened animal—it didn’t make sense.

Price sighed, his eyes carrying the same weight König held in his chest.

“Their face..it got pretty fucked up. It won’t impact their daily living too much, and I’ve seen worse, but it obviously got to them.”

Soap fiddled with the screw top of his canteen. “Really got to them.”

König casted one last look and caught sight of your charred skin, everything clicking into place. You thought you needed to hide.

“I hope they get through it.” König murmured.

“For their sake.”

Because they’re so nice to be around.

König watched you a bit again at dinner, catching more of your facial scars. He wished he had the words to speak to you, but his boots seemed to cement to the linoleum at the thought of approaching.

“You got a crush, eh?” Soap’s sudden presence beside König startled him, studying Soap’s smug half-smile with confusion.

“Crush?” He repeated the new English word. “What is that? What am I crushing?”

“No-" Soap grinned, sitting up straight. “You have a crush. Means you like someone. In that way? König, do I need to explain-"

“No—no, no, I understand now.” König’s face burned; he was grateful it was largely hidden. “I don’t, though, I-"

Soap’s face morphed into one of ‘don’t even try.’

“It’s..” König huffed, lowering his voice. “I’m their colonel.”

“Eh, not really. Different clubs n’ all.” He pointed briefly to Radar. “They’re a keeper. And sweet, too. Don’t stamp this out, mate.” With a clap to König’s shoulder, he stood to join his task force as the mess hall cooks called an end to the meal. König nearly jogged to his quarters, his thoughts racing.

Sitting at the edge of your cot, you removed your balaclava for the first time in nearly 18 hours. The fresh air soothed the irritation caused by trapped sweat and fabric, a sigh escaping your nose.

You made you way to the mirror and sink, studying the damage as you did every chance you got. It wasn’t as angry as the day you got hurt, but the scarring would be permanent. You turned away before more tears could slip by, gently folding the cloth mask.

A rapping on your door made you jump, striding over quickly while wrestling with the mask to go back over your head. You opened the door cautiously, revealing a tall silhouette.

“Hello.”

“Hi, König..” you scanned the hall, not completely sure what it was you were searching for.

“Can I—come in? If that’s alright, it’s okay if-"

“Sure.” You left the door to sway of its own volition, turning to sit on your cot and look up at your coworker. “What’s going on?”

König closed the door gently, fidgeting with his hands. “I’ve—noticed something about you.”

Your shoulders deflate. “No shit.”

You didn’t mean to bite your words that way, but you did, and he shrunk a bit at your tone.

“I apologize. I will leave you be-"

“No, König,” you sighed, frustrated with yourself. “Say what you were going to say.”

He paused, as if a step in any direction would set off an alarm. “May I?” He gestured to the space beside you, to which you nodded.

The cot bowed slightly as he sat, his height still a bit intimidating even after some time knowing him. Being right next to him, you couldn’t help but feel a little small. He looked at his lap, wrestling with his mind on how to start the conversation.

“Where did you get your callsign from?” He blurted the question, briefly turning his head to you.

You paused, not expecting his casual inquiry. “Uh..when we did training in the dark, in boot camp, I could always feel someone coming up behind me.” You gestured to your back before clasping your hands back together. “My sergeant would tell me I had a built-in motion radar,” you laughed a bit at the memory, finding the courage to smile a bit under your mask. “Gaz had met me by then, and he started calling me by Radar, and it stuck.”

König blinked thoughtfully, humming in understanding.

“That’s not the reason you came in, is it?” You teased, leaning to push his side a bit. You noticed he let himself sway instead of remaining rigid.

“You got me. Uh..I just wanted to tell you something that I thought you could..consider.”

Biting back another deflective joke, you nodded, letting him continue.

“There was never a time in the military that I did not have my sniper hood.” He studied his boots, which still easily sat flat on the floor. “Not just because of my—aspiration, but.." he inhaled, then sighed deeply.

You could tell he’d never spoken these words. The impulse to touch some part of him, to comfort him, was blinding. Only his voice brought you back into the moment.

“It was..is, because I hate to see myself. I hate being seen. It feels like I’m giving away a part of myself to every stranger I come across. I would rather choose who sees me, in more ways than one.”

His voice was no more than a murmur, and for the first time, you saw the broken man nestled in a soldier’s body before you. His head hung low, his hands shook, and in the silence after his confession, his eyes fluttered shut. To hide from what, you didn’t know.

“I need you to know," he spoke, eyes still closed. “You don’t have to live this way. You are..kind, and resilient. And..” he turned his head away to utter the final word, a whisper in the dim light.

“And beautiful.”

“König..”

“I shouldn’t have come here.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry..” he stood abruptly, shaking the cot. Watching him head for the door, you refused to let yourself lose him.

“Wait.”

You ripped off what covered your face, your hair falling into place in its wake. König stared, entranced.

“I’m glad you came here. I don’t want you to go, I don’t..” it was your turn to sigh in pause. “I don’t want you to hide from me.”

König blinked, confusion gathering in his eyes.

“Please?”

“Liebling..” he breathed. He crossed the room in a few strides, taking your scarred cheek in his hand.

Anxiety held you in place, your hands finding purchase in the gaps of his vest and his sweater.

“You deserve to walk out of this room and not feel afraid.”

“König..”

And then his hands were over his head, pulling up his beloved sniper hood over and off of his head. You didn’t move, your only physical reaction being the blush that burned its way up your neck.

His eye paint made him look intimidating, but his eyes were far from threatening anyone. His lips, scarred from combat, parted slightly with bated breath. On the skin not painted with black, freckles dotted randomly, forming triangles, lines, and other shapes you wanted to memorize. His brow worried into a slight upturn, which was hidden ever so slightly by the hair that dropped near his eyes. The rest of it was a mess, a rich auburn that stuck up and settled down in all the right places.

“You’ve got to be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” The words tumbled out before you could catch them by the tail. Fear clogged your throat in the moments where he didn’t respond before he leaned down quickly, pressing his lips gently to yours. It was devoted and kind, a kiss that said I don’t just love you, I like you.

When he pulled back, both his hands were still settled on your cheeks, the heat of his palms making you dizzy.

“Thank you..” you breathed.

König grinned sideways, and you nearly fainted.

“For what?”

“Not leaving.”

[pizza-portal]

heyyy! Another request if it’s not a problem! You being either Zak’s daughter or Dan’s sis and being the biggest tease ever for lando, like constantly looking at him, touching him, brushing your hands against his body, bumping into him ‘accidentally’ until he finally gives in and let’s you seduce him👀

Idk i just need more lando content, and ive noticed not many people write smut which is awful😩

Tease

Pairing: Lando Norris x reader

Warnings: teasing, SUB!Lando, 🤠riding, unprotected sex (avoid the dread, cover your head)

Y/n Brown was off limits. She was nice to look at and even think about. But, if anyone touched her, they would feel guilty for laying their hands on Zak’s only daughter.

Lando couldn’t help himself though. The moment he met her, his hands got clammy and he stuttered over his words way too much. She took notice of it too. He was cute, no doubt. Shy and awkward around her. There was no possible way that y/n could think about Lando the way he thinks about her, right?

Until, it started getting hot at races. She would wear shorter skirts or denim shorts. Not to mention, the tank tops and crop tops that showed off her breasts and curves. Lando’s eyes were nowhere but her. He was in a trance every time he saw her, trying to not to let the blood flow to his central.

It didn’t help with the way she talked to him. She was sweet yet so seducing. She would lay her hand on his chest for a brief moment, and he swore his heart stopped. She would bite her bottom lip whenever he talked. She would mess with her hair or the clothes she was wearing. He was a complete mess around her. But, he couldn’t give in. Not with her being Zak’s daughter.

So, at the British Grand Prix, heat sizzled off of the floor and the sun squeezed sweat out of everyone. Everyone complained about the heat on the Silverstone track, but Lando didn’t care. All he cared was seeing her in a mini skirt and some graphic t-shirt. He had been feeling uncomfortable in the seat of his car due to the blood flowing nowhere but his middle. He was almost finished with practice and maybe he could go back to his motorbike and relieve himself with the thought of her in the mini skirt.

After getting out and grabbing his things, y/n stood beside him. “Hey Lando,” she smiled. Lando’s eyes grew wide while he quickly used his random t-shirt to cover his pants. He swallowed a lump in his throat, looking down at her.

“Hi- Hey. How are you doing? You doing alright?” His words became a big jumble that struggled to flow out smoothly. Y/n just hid her smile.

“I’m alright. Just a bit hot,” She responded. Her teeth ran over her bottom lip before she asked her next question. “Do you mind if I go back to your trailer with you? I kinda need to cool down.” Lando’s first response was yes. He wanted to be so close to her and to be wrapped around her finger like a ribbon. But, the logical and professional side of him said no. He shouldn’t be so close with his boss’ daughter.

“Please?” Y/n added.

“Yeah,” Lando blurred before he could think about anything else. She smiled.

“Do you need help with your things? I can carry your shirt-”

“No!” Lando was quick to cut her off. “I can carry it. I’m really good at carrying it. I, uh, I’ll carry my t-shirt… and stuff.” Y/n just smiled, enjoying the sexual nervousness she implanted into him.

Lando led her to his motorhome, trying his best to act as if it was as normal as possible. He let her in first, as a gentleman should, before following her. The air conditioner soothed their melting skin. Y/n sat in the couch, taking in the cooled air. Lando had shoved himself in the bathroom, changing out of his fireproofed and finding a good way to hide the excitement in his pants.

After adjusting his jeans, he started moving around his clothes for a shirt. He shoved his fireproofs around before looking around on the floor. He had tried to recall if he had brought a shirt with him… and there was absolutely no recollection. He cussed under his breath, preparing himself to walk out without a shirt. He made sure to still look relaxed while flexing his core and biceps. He opened the door, immediately walking towards his bag with his clothes.

Y/n’s eyes glazed over Lando’s upper body. He seemed so tense and she found it so sexy. She stood up, already knowing how to tease him. “Hey, you look like you need a massage,” she said sweetly. Lando held his breath. His hands shook while looking for a good shirt. He had probably passed three shirt by now, but his brain could focus on clothes. She touched his back lightly.

“You seem… hard,” she mentioned. Lando’s eyes widened while he quickly turned around. Had she noticed?

“No, no. I’m not hard. I, uh-” he tried to find some sort of excuse.

“Do you need a massage?” She smirked. Lando swallowed. Her hands lightly touched his abdomen before climbing up to his pecs and then his shoulders. “Yes or no, Lando?”

Lando had completely broke to the girl in front of him. His mind decided to forget her last name and her relation to his boss. All he could focus on was her. Lando dipped his head down, his lips immediately finding hers for a small kiss. It was quick, making sure not to scare her off. Y/n pulled his shoulders toward her while jumping to her tippy toes. Their lips attached to one another. Lando’s hands found her waist, gripping tight enough to turn his knuckles white.

Y/n moved her lips from his to kiss down his jaw and to his neck. “Fuck,” Lando whimpered while her tongue ran over his Adam’s apple. “No marks.” He reminded her. Y/n just sighed, kissing back up his neck and jaw to his lips. Her hands slid down to his pecs before pushing him to land on the couch. Each leg found their side around Lando’s hips.

As if becoming shy again, Lando sat with his arms awkwardly at his side. She grabbed his hands, placing them on her thighs. She leaning in, kissing him roughly again. “Should we be doing this?” He mumbled against her lips, as if remembering who she was.

“Do you want to do this?” She whispered. He nodded desperately while his hands voluntarily found her bum, gripping tightly onto her panties. She smiled to herself before standing up. Her hands reached beneath her skirt, slowly tugging down the last bit of cloth. Lando quickly followed, unzipping his dangerously tight pants and shoving them down his thighs. He removed his underwear next, setting his erection free. Y/n but her lip, kicking aside her own underwear and climbing back on top of him.

One hand got tangled into his hair while the other took his cock. She gently stroked his length, spreading the bit of precum on his tip. Lando hissed at the pleasure. “Please,” he whispered. She aligned him with herself before settling into it. Lando gripped her hips tightly, bring back the moan. Y/n moved herself back up, rolling her hips just enough.

It was game over for Lando. His head was thrown back while a moan escaped his lips. Y/n took the opportunity to bite his neck lightly. She continued her movements, getting faster and harder as time went. Lando’s fingertips dug into her waist, sure to leave bruises. “Fuck, y/n,” he whimpered, feeling the build up. Y/n bit back a moan while her nails dug into Lando’s shoulders. She leaned in, placing a small kiss to his lips. She tightened her walls around him and Lando couldn’t help but release. He groaned, holding her closer. Y/n slowed her pace, letting herself spill onto him. They stayed like that for a minute or two, catching their breaths and letting the ecstasy wash over them.

“I was waiting for you to give in,” she chuckled. Lando smiled, shaking his head.

“Don’t let your dad find out. He’ll kill me,”

a/n: aghhhh I loved this sm. Also may or may not have a Danny Ric fic in my drafts😮‍💨

[chocoholicannanymous]

If the Spit Hits the Fan (Glee) Pt XVII

This is the penultimate part. The last one is written and drafted - I did finish while on vacation. Expect it for next weekend.

Follows pt I, pt II, pt III, pt IV, pt V, pt VI, pt VII, pt VIII, pt IX, pt X, pt XI, pt XII, pt XIII, pt XIV, pt XV and pt XVI.

It's as everything happens in May. Kurt feels as if he should be used to it by now, but this year is worse than any before. It's understandable, he guesses, what with it being his senior year, but understanding doesn't help. Some of the squares on his wall calendar has so many things on them they're barely legible, and there are days when he wants to just quit it all.

He can always work in his dad's garage for the rest of his life. Surely that's not the worst thing ever?

The only reason he's not a complete wreck when Nationals comes is the Warblers meeting held right after Regionals where David had used logic (how dare he) and suggested their approach to Nationals.

Kurt's first, immediate reaction is “we're never going to win with that” which he also says out loud, only to be met by “so what”.

“I don't say this lightly. I've been a Warbler for four years. It's been amazing to be surrounded by all of these talented people, and make music just because we like it, and that's why I've kept it up even with all the hints I've gotten that my 'future career' would be better served by me spending that time on learning another language or studying harder. After all, what use is singing and dancing for a lawyer?”

There's a bitterness in David's voice, and it's echoed in a number of murmurs around the room.

“This is the one thing I do for fun, that I do just for me, and some days the only thing that makes slogging through my mountain of homework bearable is knowing that once I'm done I can go enjoy Warblers. This year's group hold more talent of all my years here, which is why it hurts to say that I don't think we can win, no matter what setlist we go on with. We're simply not the kind of group that wins a contest like this.”

Which, probably true. The Warblers are good, yes, but they're an all boys a capella group performing in uniforms. They don't have the productions that teams who wins Nationals do. Doesn't mean that it hurts just as much to hear as it hurts to say.

“The truth is – and I'm sorry, I know we don't talk about him, but I have to – the truth is that we didn't even compete before Blaine.”

Kurt expects it to sting to hear his name. It does, but not much. He's moving past that.

“Blaine walked in here and wanted to compete so badly. He spent his first semester here trying to talk us into trying, even with all the reasons we had for not going so, and he got his way. That doesn't change the fact that this is only our second year competing, and we've surpassed all expectations by making it to Nationals.  To do so again and win, or even place in the top... I don't think we can do that, not even with all the talent in this room.”

No one likes hearing that, but no one's disagreeing either. They aren't going to win. That's just how it is.

“So why not do that we like? Why don't we pick songs we like and that showcases our strengths? Why don't we sing a song that will make you happy, Kurt? And if it knocks us down in the ranking to do so, who cares? I don't.”

To hear someone say that Kurt's happiness should matter more than placement – to hear David say it, after everything the year before – causes tears to well up in his eyes. To hear every single Warbler agree make those tears fall.

They'd walked out of that meeting stronger than they'd gone in, and Kurt lets himself gather strength from that memory for a few seconds before he steps forward and lets his voice soar.

“Something has changed within me, something is not the same / I'm through with playing by the rules, of someone else's game”

They finish eleventh. It's better than they'd dared to hope, with all the absolutely excellent teams competing. It the joy is tinged with a little bitterness? Who can blame them? Maybe, more than one of them wonders, a more conventional setlist could have placed them among the top ten. At the same time they're all aware that maybe it would have have placed them dead last. There's no way of telling, and no use speculating.

They did their best, enjoyed their performance and finished eleventh at Nationals. That's nothing to look down on. In fact...

“We did better than New Directions last year” Kurt says with a smirk.

They've beaten  his old team, his so-called friends, in every way possible and he allows himself to see that as a win.

Finn posts video of all their songs on his Facebook and is proud (and smug) enough to also post the “Defying Gravity” performance in the Glee group with a comment about how Kurt obviously could hit that note, tagging both Rachel and Mr Schue. It's petty, and Kurt should be big enough of a person to ask Finn to remove it, but no. If his brother wants to stand up for him Kurt isn't just going to let him, he's going to be grateful.

Feeling loved and protected is not something he's ever going to scoff at.

Nationals is followed by finals, the less said about the better, and then prom. Or well, “the Dalton Academy and Crawford County Day Joint Spring Formal”. Same thing right?

Wrong.

The spring formal is every thing junior prom wasn't. It's not really the fact that Sebastian asks Kurt properly to be his date for the formal, and compliments his outfit. It's not that even without decorations Dalton's auditorium is more grand than McKinley's gym. It's not even the grand dinner with lit candles, waiters and three courses before the dance or that there's a band that plays waltzes and foxtrot for the first two hours before the DJ is allowed to take over.

It's that even before they've entered the transformed dining hall Kurt spots half a dozen same-sex couples, a number that keeps going up during the evening. It's the fact that he gets to dance the whole evening, not in a group or with a girl, but with Sebastian and the occasional Warbler. Mostly it's Sebastian's arms he's in, and it's amazing.

It's so far from his junior prom and Blaine that it almost hurts.

“Is there something wrong?”

“No. Everything is... This year everything is perfect.”

Sebastian doesn't look entirely convinced, but decides to drop it and instead lean closer for a kiss.

The evening really is perfect.

The morning of his birthday Kurt walks into the dining hall alone only to be met with a table full of Warblers that stand up and sing for him as soon as he clears the door. There's one place left at the table, next to Sebastian, set with the kind of breakfast not even Dalton serves (fresh croissant, strawberries, a piece of brie and a one-person pot of tea) with a rainbow rose in a vase. Kurt sits down with a smile and leans over to kiss his boyfriend's cheek.

“So, rainbow roses are going to be our thing, is it? I love it.”

He spends the day with a smile on his lips, because his boyfriend took the time to do something special for him on his birthday and his friends have promised cake in the Warblers' room after dinner, and he feels loved.

“Cake” turns out to be cheesecake and presents, and more singing, and so much more smiling. Afterwards Sebastian walks him back to his room. There's no kissing though, which Kurt finds unacceptable.

“Isn't there some kind of rule that you get kisses on your birthday? I would have thought that was a part of the boyfriend experience, and to be honest I'm feeling very much unkissed.”

That nets him a crooked smile, but still no kisses. It's almost enough to worry him.

“You can have all the kisses you want, and not just on your birthday, you know that babe. However, there's something else I wanted you to have first.”

Sebastian pulls out a small package from him pocket and hands it over with a smile, which begins to fade when Kurt doesn't immediately take it. It's just, well.

“Another present? You shouldn't have.”

“Another? What do you mean?”

The truth is that Kurt fully expected breakfast and a rose to be the whole of Sebastian's congratulations, and he doesn't quite know how to take getting more than that. He doesn't really know how to explain it though, and definitely not in a way that won't start Sebastian on another rant about how Blaine was unworthy of Kurt's affection. Especially since it's not just about him.

Turns out he doesn't need to say anything – and apparently he's getting yet another present in the form of the absence of that rant.

“Breakfast was a treat. This is your actual present, which I hope you'll like at least as much as that.”

Sebastian looks a little worried as Kurt removes the paper and opens the small box inside (and if he's a little shaky to open a jewelry box from his boyfriend no one needs to know). It's a pair of gorgeous cufflinks with just the right balance between classy and unique and he absolutely loves them.

“These are amazing! They're too much, really, but they're so gorgeous that I'm going to pretend they're not. I love them!” I love you. But that's a bit too early to say, and so instead he leans forward and does his absolute best to communicate exactly that through kissing.

[phoenixtakaramono]

The Untold Tale - ch4 (Preview IV?)

Author Notes: I am suffering from romance overload, but finally I was able to drag Bing gē back to the plot at hand. (To be fair, my notes for this chapter was originally planned in SY’s POV for this second half of the dreamscape, so shifting it to LBH’s POV did change some things tonally....) Case in point, we transition from something like this:

Crossing the final threshold, the moment their feet touched the glazed roof tiles of a pagoda, the pathway sealed itself behind them. The darkness dispersed, a curtain of red falling over the sky.

Luo Binghe glanced around, peering over the curved eaves to see below. They were at least ten thousand chi up from the ground. Their long hair swayed, and white robes and pelt fluttered.

They had arrived at the topmost tier of what appeared to be a building constructed high enough to pierce the clouds, standing aloft as if in midair. Constructed of wood joinery and masonry, the tower bore a passing resemblance to the ancient Huangfei Pagoda where the fabled white snake spirit, Bai Suzhen, had once been imprisoned.

From their vantage, they could see everything. The ominous blood red sun was setting in the horizon, granting the impression that the world had been swallowed up by a sea of fire. The green mountains and trees were black silhouettes painted in the burnt orange sky.

The harsh sound of clashing metal pierced the eardrums.

Guttural, desperate yells shook the earth from faraway.

His instincts on high alert, he glanced over to his side. In the distance, he’d keenly sensed a thick shroud of killing intent. It was a familiar iron stench of blood that permeated the air, overpowering and hitting the back of one’s throat.

This is an illusion mimicking the frontier of war…?

A hand glided to Shen Yuan’s shoulder. He formed a gentle smile when Shen Yuan glanced over curiously. “Since Shizun wishes for me to observe, then shall we sit?”

“Sit? Sit where—?”

No sooner had he asked, the question died on Shen Yuan’s lips when Luo Binghe exerted pressure. Like snow falling off a branch, his knees folded and Luo Binghe guided him down to the roof tiles.

He was still speechless when Luo Binghe impulsively took a seat behind him. A sharp jawline nudged the top of Shen Yuan’s head. Their thighs were pressed together as their feet dangled off the edge of the roof. Shen Yuan seemed to realize Luo Binghe had taken advantage of his daze to pull him between his legs.

It was also the second time they’d embraced. As a lofty immortal, Shen Yuan had likely never experienced such brazenness from another person. His back was like a stiff wooden board against Luo Binghe’s chest.

“This lord does not mean to offend,” Luo Binghe spoke, securing his arms around Shen Yuan’s midsection—so that he could not escape. He assessed the long and sturdy body for any signs of discomfort. “This being Shizun’s dream, this lord dares not interfere and conjure illusions without permission. This lord respectfully presents his body instead to protect Shizun’s white robes from becoming dirtied.”

Silence prevailed.

Luo Binghe was undaunted by the lack of response; he knew his performance was flawless. He’d perfectly imitated the naïveté of an earnest young man who knew he’d somehow wronged a peerless existence but wanted to do good, rousing sympathy and leniency in the heart despite his excessive actions.

“Didn’t one also say that skinship was necessary?” Luo Binghe challenged. “That it would be safer by your side?”

“...You. You have a lot of courage throwing one’s words back to their face.” Just like how stone was weathered by the seasons, bit by bit, the tension had receded from Shen Yuan’s muscles. The corners of his mouth began to lift. “You are so unpredictable.”

“For a fortuneteller to find one unpredictable, one must be an exceptional person.”

“En. A very exceptional man.”

A departure from his shock from earlier, it seemed Shen Yuan had managed to find amusement in Luo Binghe’s impudence this time.

“I concede to having said that,” Shen Yuan admitted, tilting his head so that he could catch the side of Luo Binghe’s face. His expression was understanding—much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of making one feel an irrational sense of accomplishment knowing they were the cause of it. “I know you’re making fun of me. But for somebody like you to find the courage to say such lighthearted words to me, you must want us to become even closer. Right now, I can’t help feeling somewhat gratified. Luo Binghe, you really know how to be deliberate and conniving. It’s actually a relief. I don’t feel disappointed.”

Dangerous. This was dangerous.

In the wind, Shen Yuan’s voice had neither been low nor domineering, but it was a weapon that could appease others while sounding firm. One could detect the underlying maturity in his tone of voice, filled with an assuredness that made one admire and feel at ease being in his presence.

In his simple white robe, appearing pure and unyielding, there was an immense temptation being presented to Luo Binghe. Especially with the both of them in varying undressed states and with their newfound proximity, Luo Binghe came to the startling realization that he had set himself up to suffer.

Author Notes (Cont.): ...To something like this (I couldn’t find a good Chinese emperor GIF to encapsulate the mood, so have this one from a popular period C-drama):

Three fingers were held up. “You have three enemies in your life; you will only need to deal with two. Fēijī gē is one. The son of heaven is another. Since the edict has already been declared, you already know the current emperor will stop at nothing to eradicate your people and come for your head. With his personality, a ceasefire cannot be negotiated. What you’re seeing is only a small preview of what to expect.”

Luo Binghe’s gaze followed the trek of a long white sleeve rolling down a pale forearm. Shen Yuan was gesturing to the ferocious battle taking place below. From their height on the pagoda, the violence almost seemed trifling—like two colonies of ants fighting. Luo Binghe could begin to understand why in their legends that the heavenly immortals presented a wall of indifference, being so far removed from the Mortal Realm.

His smile vanished, replaced with something coldblooded and calculating. With the friendly pretense lowered, the savage callousness belonging to a demon was exposed.

Nosing the white hair, Luo Binghe murmured quietly, “This lord will ensure the emperor’s wings are clipped.”

Of the reports presented by his generals, Mobei jūn and Sha Hualing, the Xùmù Emperor had apparently declared the bounty on Luo Binghe’s head during cháo tíng—a court assembly—on account of his imperial chancellors pressuring him after hearing news of the annihilation of three of the four great sects. Furthermore, there had been a prediction that a great betrayal would bring about the downfall of the dynasty, with their great emperor being deposed.

If the report had stopped at that, Luo Binghe wouldn’t have been so infuriated that all of the official documents and writing utensils had been sent careening off the low table.

Sha Hualing, feeling aggrieved for her husband, had blurted that the low-ranked chancellor she’d interrogated claimed the emperor had been enraged, denouncing Luo Binghe to be no more than a dirty mutt who bit the hand that fed him.

An investigation launched into his origins had unearthed his hometown. As the son of a washerwoman, Luo Binghe was unqualified to take the throne from the imperial bloodline. Moreover, he was a wicked demon who had hid his true nature to deceive humans. Betraying the Cang Qiong Mountain sect, turning his back on humankind, the cultivator that was Luo Binghe was the antithesis of filial piety. Such actions demonstrated a lack of compassion and loyalty.

To prevent calamity, it was passed through imperial edict that the Demon Realm’s Sacred Ruler and his clans must be eradicated. His continued existence was equivalent to treason.

While Luo Binghe had not yet decided on which method of execution to mete out on the Xùmù Emperor, he would make sure to have him live through the last of his days in humiliation and excruciating torment.

XXXXXXXXXX

Author Notes: Chinese era names were used for various dynasties and regimes for the purpose of year identification and numbering. I hesitate to reference actual historical eras, so I’d decided to use 序幕 (xùmù) which means “prelude/ prologue”—which I thought to be funny since the meta function of having the “Xùmù Emperor'' is to be the precursor/ “curtain raiser” to LBH. …“Uninspired” naming convention fits the theme of PIDW and SVSSS though, right? Haha.

Note, previews I-IV are from earlier drafts so some details are subject to change when the final draft is posted to AO3.

Link to ch 1-3 is in the pinned post of my profile!

[another-dra-anew]

Chapter 1: Behind the Scenes!

To celebrate the end of Chapter 1, have some behind the scenes info! From various fun facts, screenshots from my working process, to explanations for how I worked out the trial, and snippets of conversations had with people who have spoilers.

Under the cut, to keep from spoiling anyone!

Fun Facts

-I only thought of the detail regarding Kurokawa fighting back (the spilled brown sugar) as I was writing that post! I just figured it would be nice to add in, and helpful to show later that Kurokawa was attacked in the Dining Hall -The exorcism scene would’ve actually happened, and I did briefly plan it, but I figured it may raise too many death flags, and just didn’t end up working it into my post schedule. Also, Maeda’s pendant he receives from Kurokawa in the prologue is based off of one of my own! -You were supposed to receive a gift from Kurokawa when her body is found, in the post stating that we’ve entered Deadly Life, but I forgot to include it when writing said post... Future gifts will be given when a student dies! For now though, they both get lumped in at the end of Nzo4s post -Speaking of Nzo4, I wonder why they were bleeding that much, and why we don’t seem to have had a casualty out of the thirteen members of current cast!

Post Schedule

Aforementioned briefly in section above, Fun Fact two! I use this minimal post schedule to organize how things will go in order of how many FTEs, Maedas general schedule, when my events are, etc etc! It’s helpful to have that as a reminder, especially when I’m writing Maeda’s selections for where he’ll go! Look at what I had for Chapter 1 at the very end!

Victim + Culprit

In most Beta drafts, Kurokawa actually lived to the end, or at least Chapter 4! Once I had her and Inori set to die in Chapter 1 though, that stayed the same, even as minor revisions were made. Kurokawa was generally set as traitor, or was up to something strange, even taking canon Kisaragis place at one point, while Inori just rotated as I needed her too- she was Chapter 3 killer for a bit though. Chapter 1 was the very first chapter I finalized for who would die, the others continued to shift around some, but once I had this one down the way it is now, I was finished!

Case

Did anyone notice Maeda’s lie that got uncaught? He claimed everyone had given their alibi, and only a few were verifiable- but we never asked Higa or Mekaru about their alibis. There was originally a scene wherein Tsurugi returned to his room, which would help prove his innocence later, as Tomori accompanied him, and didn’t see any guns. I made numerous mini post schedules throughout the trial trying to outline just what I’d do next, but I ended up deviating from all- at one point, you’d have had the first rebuttal showdown against Yamaguchi,

Motive

I figured it’d be fun to put a spin on the typical “Oh noooo, your loved one” motive; the motive was specifically designed to target Inori, as she was while not the one most likely to solve murders, the one most likely to prevent a death, due to her medical skills. Other characters are decent at First-Aid, but Inori stands alone as the sole person equipped to fix, let’s say, a stab to the spine, or to the lung. Here’s the full list of who everyone saw in their videos! Sibling(s): Maeda, Kurokawa, Maki, Uehara, Yamaguchi, Iranami Friend(s): Mekaru, Taira, Parent(s): Otori, Higa, Full family: Tsurugi, Kobashikawa, Tomori, Hatano No one: Inori

Execution Tidbits

The title (Adam of Loving Labor) is inspired by a line from Frankenstein! “I ought to be thy Adam, but I am rather the fallen angel.” The original execution concept for Inori involved her operating on herself, being told that if she could save a certain amount of peoples lives, she’d be able to leave, having made up for what she had done, but she’d have to provide her own blood, organs, etc, in order to do it: However, upon removing the needed parts, it’d be revealed that she’d only help create more humanoid Monokumas. After an attempt to run while still extremely weak, she’d die of blood loss, and collapse, before being discarded of in some sort of way, with her corpse left to stay there, no one caring to come get her and mourn, showing how she was truly just disposable (in her view.) My decision to re-include Inori being operated on/having her organs used was really last minute- as I was finishing up her motive video post. For months, it would’ve ended with her dying as patient pushed her, due to wounds she had sustained while operating on him.

Quotes

From when it was thought Tsurugi was dead: “BRUH” “tfw everyone likes the optimism twink more than u so u try and get them all killed by killing him first” minor gore/head/brain trauma tw, in italics, skip whats italicized if that’d trigger you!: “haruhiko stomped on tsurugis head with his boots, thats what caused the wound” “how * stomp* dare * stomp* you * stomp* beat * stomp* teruya * stomp* you * stomp*  bitch * stomp stomp stomp*" “haru walkin round the halls with tsurugi brain matter on his gucci boots “ all from one person - “shaFUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK /// AHHHHHH /// TSU!!!!!!!!!! /// FUCK YOU. IVE GENUINELY  NEVER BEEN SO CRUSHED BY A CHARACTER DEATH BEFORE When it was discovered he was alive “MY SWEET BOY? HEZ ALIVE” “HE NEEDS HELP BUT IF WE GO WHAT IF HE DIES ALONE WAAA” “i was originally gonna post the "tsu is fucking dead" post and then the investigation post right after it but. decided a few hours of pain is good for the soul”

Misc

I’ll take note of some more of these to include next time, but a line from Tsurugi, vs what it was when I was drafting the post, and didn’t write it out in full: Tsurugi - Hey, can everyone stop for a sec? It’s overwhelming to have that kinda reaction and attention on you, especially when already breaking down. Tsurugi - …Good, good, thank you all! Now, Maeda? You hear me okay? Look at me if you can; you don’t have to make eye contact, just look over here. Versus Tsurugi - maeda. stop being a bitch My favorite characters to write during trial: Inori, Higa, Tomori, Maeda My least favorite characters to write during trial: Tsurugi, Hatano It was nice to explore Inoris dialogue, and how she’d try to subvert the trial to point fingers at someone else, and then setting up the other characters reactions and the like was very fun! I Hate Writing Hatano. I’m stupid and always forget her characterization so she feels bland, and like she doesn’t stand out... I redesigned her some, but right as the trial came to close... Then with Tsurugi, I worried too much about him coming across as a all-knowing character there to save the day.

Screenshots

i actually dont have anymore screenshots whoopsie 3 anywayss be on the lookout for more stuff ™  coming your way soon!

[nicolewrites]

We Stand, Fate-Tested: Final Thoughts

You thought you’d seen the last of that title? Never! I may have been distracted by Sylvgrid Week for a while, but I finally got this cleaned up enough to post. 

So, to those of you who haven’t read We Stand, Fate-Tested, this post is going to spoil practically the entire fic, so do yourself a favour and read the fic HERE. This post is also very, very long, so I apologize if you read the whole thing aha.

Anyways, continuing on, I wrote over 70 000 words for this story and this was after two solid weeks of story editing to get the fic not to come across as incredibly clunky. I want to use this post to discuss my favourite and least favourite things about writing the story and to talk about some of the things I had planned that never made it into the final draft or things that were changed to fit the flow of the story better. 

Let’s start with my favourite and least favourite things!

Favourite Chapter: VII - What’s A Little Fear (I loved this chapter. It was a blast to write, creating the duality of the attacks as well as finally tapping into the mystery genre I stubbornly tagged this fic with. It’s also one of my favourites to reread).  Favourite Present Scene: Either Byleth/Claude in the coffeeshop (Chapter III), the car crash scene (Chapter VII) or the Byleth/Claude scene in the bathroom (Chapter VIII) Favourite Past Scene: Either Byleth/Dimitri’s first reunion (Chapter II), the Sreng fight scene (Chapter IX), or Dimitri’s death scene (Chapter X) Favourite Character to write: Past!Dimitri, Present!Edelgard, Present!Claude (probably no surprises there haha) Favourite Plot Detail: Byleth having a flashback in the tomb and then going to the lab and having that scene play out later, in Chapter XI, in the past.

Least Favourite Chapter: XI - No Rest For the Weary (Don’t get me wrong, I like how it turned out. I just had so many things that were scrapped for this part and something about it still doesn’t sit with me as well as I wanted it to. It was hard to write a past section without the anchor for the past: Dimitri) Least Favourite Present Scene: Probably the lab scene with Byleth (Chapter I) where she looks up Claude because it was written so early and it still feels a bit info-dump-esque to me. Least Favourite Past Scene: Hands down Byleth’s final scene (Chapter XI). I do feel like it came out alright, but I really struggled with this scene. It was tricky to highlight everything I needed to in that scene without removing all the development Byleth had gone through.  Least Favourite Character to write: Many of the undergraduates in the present. It’s not that I didn’t like them, I was just frustrated because the future was focused so heavily on a few key characters that none of the background characters had the voices I wanted to give them. Least Favourite Plot Detail: The Scorch and the Riots. I specifically crafted them so that there would be a plausible excuse for the physical records to have been destroyed and yet I feel like I relied too much on them in some cases.

Now let me talk about plot details that almost appeared!

Starting with some general facts:

The Golden Deer were supposed to be MUCH bigger characters in the present. I had programs, relationships, interactions and plot points hinged on their interactions with Byleth and Claude, but I ended up scrapping a lot of it when I moved forward with the undergrad dig team plot and decided to bring in Edelgard and Dimitri more. 

They were supposed to go to Shambhala. Instead of at Garreg Mach, the final attack was actually supposed to take place while at a dig site in Shambhala. After research into archaeology more as a whole, I realized this didn’t fit, so I removed it.

I considered having Jeralt be alive in the present.

I was going to write more dreams for Byleth and actually have them as independent scenes.

Byleth was supposed to make two separate trips to Almyra in the past. 

The fic was originally only 10 chapters and would have ended abruptly in the past. 

Rhea was supposed to make an appearance in the present.

Chapter Specifics: 

Chapter I 

Ironically, the only real trick with this is I considered renaming the university, but ended up leaving it. 

This chapter was actually mostly written before much of the plot was hammered out so it can read a tiny bit inconsistently to me now, but there’s not much I left out of it.

Chapter II

Initially, I had all three of the reincarnated lords in Byleth’s tutorial, but then I remember that that never happens in university courses so I fixed it. I hadn’t planned on introducing the Guardian’s Sword here, but I did accidentally and then just rolled with it.

Byleth and Dimitri’s Chapter IV argument was originally in this chapter. They were also originally married in between Chapters I and II, something which changed to between III and IV once I changed this chapter. 

Chapter III

Dimitri was supposed to tell Byleth that he was having odd dreams before he found out about the dig project in the present. This chapter also would have had a vivid dream scene before Claude and Byleth’s tea conversation lasted 3000 words. 

Claude was supposed to be a cause of strife in Byleth and Dimitri’s relationship in the past, but then I decided that was stupid and changed him to play the voice of reason. Additionally, this chapter changed a lot as a result of the moving of the wedding.

Chapter IV

This chapter was, again, supposed to feature a Byleth-brand dream, but I changed it to the scene in her office with Claude to set up the Almyra trip. This was the moment in the story where I had decided to make Claude the Almyran Prince. Before this, he was just an ambassador’s son.

Claude in the past was supposed to give a wedding gift to Byleth and Dimitri, but this was changed when I had him attend the wedding. Byleth and Dimitri were supposed to argue about Byleth and Claude’s friendship, but as I already said, I didn’t want Claude to be a source of jealousy.

Chapter V

This chapter actually stuck fairly close to the points of the outline I made. The only point I struggled with was having the tapestries be mostly ruined or preserved and I eventually landed on preserved.

The council meeting was an addendum to the chapter written after the heavier scene at the end. I added it to give a bit more background to Byleth being in Fhirdiad and the way that her relationship with Seteth and their friends would become a bit more strained in the future. 

Chapter VI

This chapter was supposed to highlight the argument alluded to in the chapter between Dimitri, Edelgard, and Claude. There was supposed to be a little bit about how the tomb seemed to be dragging up animosity that didn’t previously exist. I removed it because I wanted more space to discuss the dream and the scene with the TV.

The past section was supposed to feature more political drama. There was supposed to be a cabinet meeting that showed the progress of divorcing church and state and siphoning the power away from the nobility, but I came up with the idea for the Rhea scene which I ended up liking a lot more, so I rewrote the chapter, almost completely removing the politics.

Chapter VII

This chapter actually almost exactly follows its outline. The four go to Fhirdiad and deal with their pursuers and end in a car crash. 

The only change in the past was that it originally ended with the infirmary scene from chapter 8, but I changed it to create a stronger parallel between the past and the present by ending both on relative cliffhangers. 

Chapter VIII

The present section of this chapter was actually one of the first scenes I ever outlined for this fic. Naturally, there wasn’t much that was left out. I scrapped a few interactions with people including Dorothea, Sylvain, and Mercedes in order to give Byleth and Claude more time to chat in the bathroom. Basically, the point of the party was to really highlight the fact that while reincarnation had occurred, everyone had ended up in different situations with different people. 

Originally, Byleth was supposed to have recovered well from the assassination attempt and it was supposed to be Dimitri who took longer to heal. Because I was already leaning into the dying-goddess idea though, I swapped them to make it more impactful when Byleth still tries to go against all of her advisors to get Claude to take her to the Slithers.

Chapter IX

Byleth, here, was only supposed to begin to suspect Flayn. I considered having her not even speak to Seteth and Flayn, but I changed that because I think I wanted her to know at this point. However, it was only when I began writing the chapter that I realized that Seteth would know the Archbishop’s full name, so that tidbit was actually the very last thing added to this chapter. 

I wrote the past section of this chapter first. It was fairly cut and copy from the outline so not much was left out here, just one small scene where Byleth and Dimitri saw Claude off when they were still mad at each other and they would have been awkward.

Chapter X

Originally, Leonie was going to be the one to find Claude and Byleth in the alley, but I liked Edelgard and Hubert for it better. This is where Rhea would have appeared in the Modern section. She would have come looking for Seteth before the send-off party started and would have had a crypt conversation with Byleth, but instead, I changed her simply to be the mysterious benefactor that funded the original expedition and removed her physical appearance for flow purposes.

The only big change seen in the past section here, was that Claude and Byleth were supposed to bring Dimitri outside of Shambhala before he died and he would have died seeing the rising or setting sun. When I wrote the cave-in this was changed to match that. 

Chapter XI

Since Byleth was originally supposed to have had a different conversation with Seteth in chapter 9, when the four of them were running for the gunman, they would have revealed their ancestry and connections to the past lords which would have been the point that Byleth actually connected all the dots. 

Byleth and Claude were supposed to be en route to Almyra after dissolving the monarchy when she started to die, causing him to take her back. I changed this because it didn’t fit with the futility of so many of the actions that Byleth had taken after Dimitri’s passing. I also just really wanted her to have the ‘I never intended to return to the Monastery’ and the ‘I hadn’t planned on living this long’ lines. 

Chapter XII

Claude was supposed to be with Dimitri and Edelgard when they said goodbye. There was supposed to be strange tension between them, but it didn’t fit with their interactions inside the tomb, so I just sent him back to Almyra to coordinate his abdication instead. Originally, there would have been a shootout in the tomb as well, resulting in Byleth actually killing the gunman, but instead I used their escape to give Seteth and Flayn a reason to disappear. This is one of the points I was most tentative about changing and is one of my least favourite things that I changed in the whole story. 

The past section was originally just supposed to have been Claude admiring his commissioned tapestries, but I couldn’t resist adding a Hilda in because I love her.

That’s pretty much it for all the plot details and changes. And that’s pretty much everything I have to say about the story. This fic was a labour of absolute love and it has given me an incredible appreciation for the writers in fandoms who can continue stories into the tens of chapters because I found my plot tied up in a neat little bow at 12 chapters. 

If you have any more questions, please shoot them to me on Tumblr, in the AO3 comments, or even on Twitter (@nicolewrites37) and I’ll be happy to answer them. 

Thank you so much to everyone who read, commented, and left kudos on the fic because knowing that there were people waiting to see more was the reason I was able to continue writing and finish the fic. I hope you enjoyed the story overall and that you might find something else you like amidst my other Three Houses works. 

- Nicole

[kk095]

Amy's ICU Arrest

Check out my newest story! Feel free to leave feedback, and I hope everyone likes it 🙂

There were a few typos in my initial draft, so bear with me a bit!

****

The intensive care unit (ICU) is a department in most hospitals that focuses on patients who are critically injured or ill, and often on the verge of death. The ICU has advanced equipment that typically isn't found in other departments of the hospital, and ICU staff members receive extensive training and have in-depth expertise, giving their gravely ill or injured patients the best chance possible given the circumstances. Despite all of this, patients still succumb to their injuries and illness in the ICU.

Our latest ICU casualty was 27 year old Amy Russell. Amy was a petite, nerdy white woman standing at 5'4 with big blue eyes, brown hair with bangs, fair skin, and a small tattoo on her left ankle. Amy was a nice, quiet girl who kept to herself most of the time, and had a promising career in IT.

Amy ended up in our ICU after being involved in a bad car accident while driving home from work. Amy had an open fracture in her right femur, a ruptured spleen, lacerated splenic artery, lacerated splenic vein, and a lacerated left gastric vein. Due to the severity of her injuries, she was taken up to the operating room shortly after arrival at the emergency department to treat her injuries and stabilize her. Amy's surgery was touch and go for awhile, but she pulled through. The surgical team had to remove her spleen, ligate her splenic and left gastric veins, cauterize her splenic artery, and repair her open femur fracture via internal fixation and intermedullary nailing.

Since she was still in rough shape after surgery, it was decided that she would be sent to the ICU for observation and be left on sedation for pain management purposes. After surgery, Amy's vital signs were: BP 107/70, heart rate 104bpm, o2 saturation 100% on a high flow oxygen ventilator, and she had a GCS of 10. The ICU team also had Amy set up on an antibiotic cocktail to limit post-operative infection, and weaned her off of fluid resuscitation and blood products since her vascular injuries were repaired. Initially, it seemed like Amy was on a slow and steady path to recovery.

Amy laid in the ICU bed intubated, with the tube connected to a blue tube holder, and hooked up to a ventilator. There were EKG electrodes scattered all over her chest, which was covered by a blanket. There was a large bandage covering a majority of her abdomen from the intense surgery she just endured, and her right thigh was immobilized and covered with bandages. The ICU nurses checked on Amy every few minutes after surgery.

She remained stable for several hours, but the situation changed in the middle of the night. Just shy of 3am, Amy became hypotensive, displaying a BP of 85/47. A bedside FAST scan was ordered, a d-dimer was ordered, and a chest x ray was performed. The FAST scan and x-ray didn't show anything new, and the d-dimer was slightly elevated. The ICU team felt that Amy could've developed a post-op PE, but felt uneasy about administering anticoagulant drugs due to her freshly repaired vascular injuries. The ICU team elected to have a pulmonology consult before deciding on their next move.

The pulmonologist arrived within the next few minutes. Their assessment of Amy concluded that she didn't have a pulmonary embolism even though she had certain diagnostic indicators. The pulmonologist thought Amy was suffering from something known as a fat embolism. This is a scenario where bone marrow (typically from a broken bone) ends up in blood supply, and becomes lodged elsewhere in the body. These incidents are particularly lethal when the stray bone marrow becomes lodged in the lungs or brain.

Since fat emboli are an uncommon occurrence, the pulmonologist wanted to order a CT angiogram. Since she wasn't stable enough for transport to radiology, it was decided that a bronchoscopy was ordered to look for pulmonary edema, a textbook symptom associated with fat emboli. Repeat labs were also drawn to check for changes in hematocrit, hemoglobin, co2, and platelet levels.

The bronchoscopy confirmed pulmonary edema, and the labs had abnormal results; hematocrit was 27.3%, hemoglobin was 9.1 g/dL, co2 was 37 mEq/L, and her platelet levels were down to 114,000 per microlitre. The ICU team administered vasopressors to increase BP, hung 2 units of platelets from the rapid infuser, started her on an IV drip of iron to help with hemoglobin and hematocrit, a bag of albumin was hung, and a central venous pressure (CVP) monitor was set up. Additional electrodes were stuck onto Amy's chest, and a separate display monitor was set up for the CVP.

All of the interventions did little to nothing to improve Amy's condition. Her BP remained low, she developed tachycardia, and developed petechial rashes on both her axillary areas. Since Amy's condition wasn't improving, the doses for all her medications were upped, her ventilator settings were altered, and a 3rd and 4th unit of platelets were started on the rapid infuser.

Her course of treatments continued for another hour or so, but things changed around 4am. At that time, Amy's ET tube became filled with blood and her blood pressure was taking a nosedive. A few nurses rushed into the room and began suctioning her ET tube out. The attending physician and a few respiratory techs were notified of the sudden change.

The nurses kept suctioning out blood, but Amy wasn't moving any air. The respiratory techs had to reintubate Amy, which proved to be a difficult task. Shortly after reintubation, Amy went into cardiac arrest.

Deep, rapid chest compressions were started by one of the nurses. The nurse could feel a few of Amy's ribs pop just beneath her gloved hand as she delivered strong, forceful compressions. Amy's skinny chest caved in rhythmically during the initial phase of the code. Just a few feet away, another nurse detached the ventilator and hooked an ambu bag onto Amy's ET tube. A 3rd nurse stuck defib pads onto Amy's bare chest, and another nurse was injecting the first doses of epinephrine, atropine, and sodium bicarbonate into the young woman's IV. The heart monitors showed pulseless electrical activity (PEA), so CPR, ambu bagging, and drugs were the only course of action that could be taken right away.

Amy just laid in the bed, eyes closed while her chest took an absolute beating. The nurses pumped away on her frail, skinny chest. Her head bobbed during each individual compression, and her feet swayed at the other end of the bed, showing off the delicate, silky wrinkles in the soles of her size 6 feet.

The first 3 minutes worth of resuscitation efforts failed to convert the young brunette out of PEA, so a 2nd round of drugs were injected intravenously. Amy continued to receive fast, hard chest compressions, but the first nurse got tired, so they swapped out with another nearby nurse. The monitors chirped loudly in the half second in which CPR was stopped during the switch, but began beeping rhythmically once compressions were restarted. About 2 minutes later, Amy's ET tube refilled with blood, so suction had to be applied for the 2nd time. The tube was cleared, only to refill just 30 seconds later. While the breathing tube was suctioned out, Amy also started developing a nosebleed, and was bleeding from her IV sites. Amy went into rapid onset DIC, so FFP and more platelets were hung from the rapid infuser.

At the 6 minute mark of the code, Amy remained in PEA. Since the DIC compromised her IV sites, an IO was drilled into her left thigh since a central line placement wasn't a practical option at that moment. After one of the resident physicians drilled the IO in place, the next round of drugs were injected intraosseously.

At the 7 and a half minute mark of the code, Amy finally converted to V-Fib. The defib pads were charged to 250j, and a shock was delivered after all personnel stood clear. Amy's back arched, and her chest was thrust into the air briefly, but the shock failed to convert her out of V-Fib. A cycle of hearty, vigorous chest compressions were performed before the next shock.

A 300j shock was delivered in the coming seconds. Amy's body jerked and her toes curled slightly, wrinkling the soles of her feet. Post shock, her toes released from the clenched position back into a relaxed state. Shock #2 failed to produce a pulse, so a 3rd shock was delivered shortly thereafter at 360j. Amy's lifeless body jolted violently on the bed as the dose of electricity coursed through her dying body. This shock sent Amy back into PEA, so CPR and ambu bagging was resumed, along with the next dose of drugs going into the IO.

The next few minutes came and went with no change, with Amy's downtime just passing 10 minutes. Blood leaked from her nose and rolled down by her mouth and her cheeks from DIC. Blood was dripping down both her arms from her former IV sites. Amy's complexion was a ghostly, sickly whitish grey, and she was cool to the touch.

Approximately 3 minutes later, Amy's ET tube had to be suctioned out for the 4th time in such a short period of time. The plastic suction tube made a slurping sound as it gulped up all the blood that clogged the breathing tube. Just a few inches away, one of the nurses was pounding away on Amy's chest. The nurse had a red, flushed look on their face due to the tiring nature of giving compressions. However, they knew their inner complaints were nothing compared to what Amy was going through, so they kept going.

Several more unproductive minutes passed, with Amy deteriorating to an agonal rhythm. Yet another cycle of drugs were given, but once again failed to work effectively. The entire ICU team was growing more and more tired from giving chest compressions, and the once loud, hectic room became eerily silent, knowing that the end appeared to be near for the young woman they've been working on.

The ICU team coded Amy for another 5 minutes, but she was maxed out on drugs, asystolic, and had blown pupils. At that point, the ICU team ceased their efforts, calling time of death at 4:34am after an 18 minute code. The ambu bag was detached and the flatlined monitors were switched off. The nurses quietly removed the EKG electrodes and defib pads from Amy's bruised, battered chest. Lastly, her body was covered and a toe tag was placed before she was sent off to the morgue.

Amy's autopsy revealed that she died from multiple small to medium sized fat emboli. The particles of fat and bone marrow originated in her femur fracture, eventually becoming trapped within the pulmonary artery of the right lung and the left interlobar artery. The ICU team diagnosed Amy correctly, but the discovery was made too late, which unfortunately led to the beautiful young woman's death.

[freyayuki]

Dissidia Final Fantasy: Opera Omnia Dimensions’ End Entropy Tier 4 New Team

Here’s yet another fairly recent old draft that I finally finished editing.

I’ve already Perfected the Dimensions’ End Entropy Tier 4 Chaos fight in the Dissidia Final Fantasy: Opera Omnia (#ad) (DFFOO) mobile game twice. And yet, here I am, doing it all over again for the third time. Why?

Dimensions’ End Entropy Tier 4 Team 1

I initially Perfected this quest using the following characters:

Cloud Strife from Final Fantasy VII

Lenna Charlotte Tycoon from Final Fantasy V

The Warrior of Light from Final Fantasy I

I was especially pleased with this clear because I was able to do it with only one purple character while the other 2 were at base Ex only. And this was back when only a few Summon Boards had been released.

Cloud is fully MLB and double purple with perfect artifacts (3 attack 108 with max brave 330). He has the following spheres equipped:

Agrias’ Full HP Boost A sphere, which raises max brave by 10% while HP is max

Faris’ Full HP Critical Poison All E sphere, which reduces enemy’s brave by 30% of their individual initial brave at the start of their turn for 6 turns when dealing a critical hit while HP is max

Cloud was the damage dealer who basically carried the other 2 to victory while they supported him via healing, auras, and battery.

Much, much later, I decided to remove my Perfect because I wanted to free Lenna. Her Ex was going to be Realizable soon, and I’m actually considering giving her a Book and possibly even an Ingot. So I wanted her to be free to be used in other Dimensions’ End Tiers.

As for the Warrior of Light - well, his Ex can be Realized already. His was one of the first few Ex to be Realizable. But I have no intention of ever Realizing his Ex, much less giving him even a single Ingot. He’s worked well enough at base Ex only, so he might as well continue working well enough like this forever.

Dimensions’ End Entropy Tier 4 Team 2

I Perfected Dimensions’ End Entropy Tier 4 for the second time with the following characters:

Cloud Strife from Final Fantasy VII

Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII (#ad)

Rosa Joanna Farrell from Final Fantasy IV

Rosa is fully MLB and double purple with perfect artifacts (3 attack 108 with Devoted White Mage Boost★★). Sephiroth is fully MLB, but he’s at base Ex only. He has 1 attack 108 with max brave 330 and 2 attack 108 with max brave 200 artifacts. 

All 3 have all 6 of their Summon Boards completed. Both Cloud and Rosa have their Bloom Stones, but Sephiroth doesn’t have his. While I was very glad to be able to lock a base Ex only Sephiroth in a Dimensions’ End Tier, I can’t say the same for Rosa. 

I didn’t want to use her here. I was hoping to be able to use another base Ex only or Ex+0 character in this stage. And that’s why I decided to remove my Perfect and do this Tier again.  

Dimensions’ End Entropy Tier 4 New Team

I decided to try this Chaos fight with the following characters: 

Cloud Strife from Final Fantasy VII (#ad)

Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII

Selphie Tilmitt from Final Fantasy VIII

Selphie is fully MLB, but she’s at base Ex only. She has all 6 of her Summon Boards, and she has the following artifacts:

initial brave 170 with Life of Trabia Boost★★

max brave 110 with Life of Trabia Boost★★

max brave 330 with Life of Trabia Boost★★

Her Ex can be Realized already, but I didn’t want to give her a Book, much less an Ingot. If these limited resources weren’t so scarce, I would gladly purple her. The problem is Books and Ingot are limited and scarce, so I have to be really stingy when it comes to who to give them to.

Selphie is a decent enough support and I like her well enough. After all, I actually pulled for her on her Lost Chapter banner and even got her fully MLB. The problem is that, as a support and healer, she pales in comparison to the likes of Y’shtola, Rosa, and Penelo. 

I feel that they far outclass her. I feel that I wouldn’t use her at all even if I decide to purple her because I’m always picking any one of the 3 aforementioned characters to use as my party’s support and healer. So I didn’t want to Realize Selphie just to use her for one Dimensions’ End Entropy Tier.

But I did want to try locking her on to a Tier at base Ex only. Unfortunately, that was easier said than done. Well, it would no doubt be easier if it was just her. But Sephiroth is also a part of this team, and he’s also at base Ex only, so this entire quest was an ordeal from start to finish.

For starters, Selphie offers the party immunity from debuffs, but it’s not 100% like Lenna’s. This is an issue, but not one that can’t be dealt with. After all, I was able to manage with Rosa and she doesn’t offer the party debuff immunity.

That’s the thing though. Selphie’s ability to protect the party from debuffs is one thing she has over Rosa, Y’shtola, and Penelo. But hers isn’t reliable at all, so why bother bringing her when you could just bring any one of the 3 instead? 

Unless you’re always lucky, you’re likely to still end up dealing with debuffs even with Selphie in the party. That’s what happened in this quest. Sometimes, the debuffs miss. Other times, they don’t.

In the first wave, I just restart and do it again if any one of my party gets the Stone debuff that makes them unable to move for the duration of the round. 

It’s harder in the last wave because the final boss has the chance to paralyze any one of my characters for 1 turn. The poison and turn rate down debuffs are pretty bad as well, but the paralyze is much, much worse. 

Sometimes, I reset in the final wave too if things get particularly bad. Other times, I just go through with the paralyze and hope for the best. It depends on how the battle is going. 

I had to give Selphie a Book and Ingot for armor just so she could equip all of her passives and extensions. I also got her Bloom Stone since it restores her skill uses.

Anyway, as for Sephiroth - I’ve found that he’s absolutely terrible at base Ex only. He doesn’t even get HP+, so I’m stuck using his regular HP attack to conserve his skill uses. 

He does get a free skill after using his Ex, but that’s not enough to last for the entirety of the fight, considering how long it could be. Besides, his Ex charges slow, so that’s yet another issue. The Aura buff from Selphie’s Ex helped with the recast time, but it’s still not as fast as Cloud’s Ex.

Then there’s the fact that, more often than not, he hits like a wet noodle. It’s only to be expected since he’s at base Ex only and we are dealing with Chaos-level enemies.

His Jenova buff raises his speed and lowers the speed of all enemies. However, to be honest, I really can’t tell if this actually makes a difference or not. I don’t know if or how it’s actually helping. I haven’t noticed a significant difference in the speed of the enemies while Jenova is active.

Cloud did very well, as usual. He couldn’t paralyze the enemies since they were immune to all debuffs, but he still did a fantastic job anyway. His Ex charges fast. 

His dispel is a godsend against the Chimera in the second wave. That enemy likes to give himself framed buffs, including one that increases his defense, which just makes him harder to get rid of.

This team actually worked pretty well. I managed to clear the quest twice with this team. Unfortunately, it’s not enough. Twice, I was able to get all the mission requirements:

Clear without any KOs

Clear within 135 turns

Take 10,000 or less HP damage

with Selphie, Cloud, and Sephiroth, but I just can’t get the score requirement. To get the Perfect, I need to get all the mission requirements in one battle. 

Dimensions’ End Entropy Tier 4 New Team 2

So I decided to try another team. I looked through the list of characters that I have yet to lock on to a Dimensions’ End Entropy Tier. 

I still have a lot of options. I even have purple characters I could use. But I didn’t want to use these purple charas yet. I wanted to save them for future tiers. 

I decided to try Tier 4 again with the following characters:

Cloud Strife from Final Fantasy VII

Selphie Tilmitt (#ad) from Final Fantasy VIII

Vayne Carudas Solidor from Final Fantasy XII

Vayne is fully MLB, but at base Ex only. He only has 4 of his Summon Boards completed and no Bloom Stone. His Ex can be Realized already, but I haven’t given him a Book or an Ingot. The reason for this is a little more complicated.

Because Vayne is actually really good. He has turn delay. He can break and rebreak enemies. He has free turns. 

And I like him well enough, which was why I pulled for him during his event, back when he’d first been introduced as a playable character in this game.

I got him fully MLB. And I even farmed him perfect artifacts - 3 attack 108 with max brave 330 and 2 attack 108 with Imperial Consul Boost★★. I even kept his Summon Boards up to date (well, mostly) because I thought I was all set to purple him when the time came.

Except the time came, and I no longer felt like purpling him. I don’t know. It’s not like I couldn’t spare the resources for him. After all, he brings a lot of utility to the party with his free turns and turn delay and rebreak mechanic. And yet I just don’t feel like purpling him.

When he became Realizable, I was feeling pretty meh towards DFFOO at that time, so I guess that’s one reason why I just didn’t feel like purpling him.��I’ll talk more about the whole meh thing in another post, but the point is that Vayne is at base Ex only. 

At the moment, I feel that I’m better off looking into the future for when the Ex of other characters become Realizable instead of giving Books and Ingots to old characters like Vayne. Besides, thankfully, I’ve been able to manage well enough even without a purple Vayne.

That’s why I decided to leave Vayne at base Ex only. Much like with Sephiroth, I was also interested in locking him on to a Dimensions’ End Entropy Tier in his current state.

Vayne also hit like a wet noodle against these Chaos-level enemies. But he was much better than Sephiroth since he actually provided more utility for the party with his turn delay, rebreak mechanic, and free turns.

Conclusion

Overall, I’m pleased that I was able use a base Ex only Selphie and Vayne in a Dimensions’ End Entropy Tier. I’m pretty happy with this Perfect, so, barring any more unforeseen circumstance, I don’t think I’m going to be redoing Tier 4 again anytime soon.

So, how ‘bout you? Which characters did you use to clear Dimensions’ End Entropy Tier 4? What did you think about this Chaos fight? Feel free to share your thoughts and opinions by leaving a comment below or by reblogging this post.

Notes:

pics are from Amazon.com; links shown above

screenshots are from my Dissidia Final Fantasy: Opera Omnia game account

[in-the-dawg-house]

Who will be the next starting quarterback for the Dawgs?

By Iris Fambro Carter

When Jake Fromm announced that he would forgo his final year at Georgia and enter the NFL draft the Dawgs found themselves in a precarious position. As the Dawgs starting quarterback for three years, Fromm took them to the National Championship, won an SEC Championship, and won three SEC East Championships. Also, he orchestrated signature wins in the Rose Bowl against Oklahoma, Sugar Bowl against Baylor, two wins against Notre Dame, and is 3-0 in three years against Florida, Tennessee, and Georgia Tech, and 3-1 against Auburn. In three years at Georgia Fromm went 36-7, completing 622 passes, 983 pass attempts, passed for 8,236 yards, averaged 8.4 yards per completion, with 78 touchdowns, 18 interceptions, with a QB rating of 156.2. His record is impressive and production is commendable, so after Fromm declared for the NFL draft, Georgia quickly realized that they had two options to address his departure: (1) promote from within or, (2) get a quarterback from the transfer portal.

Promote From Within

Stetson Bennett IV is a 5’11” 190 lb. junior who has had some success on the collegiate level. In 2017 he redshirted with the Dawgs and was the scout team quarterback. He was one of four winners of Offensive Scout Team Player of Year in 2017 during the Dawg’s post-season awards gala. In 2018 he transferred to Jones County Junior College in Ellisville, Mississippi his sophomore year where he led his team to a 10-2 record, won a Mississippi Bowl game, and the MACJC Conference championship game. In that year Bennett played 12 games, completed 145 passes for 1,840 yards, and had 16 touchdowns while rushing 148 yards for four touchdowns. In 2019 Bennett transferred back to Georgia where he was named the back-up quarterback to Fromm. He played in five games, completed 20 of 27 passes and had two touchdowns.

D’Wan Mathis is a 6’5” 205 lb. redshirt freshman from Bellville, Michigan. Mathis was expected to be the backup quarterback last year until he underwent emergency surgery to remove a cranial cyst. On May 29, 2020, Mathis was cleared for game action. This means that he has no restrictions while practicing and during game time. It will be interesting to see if Georgia will be a little cautious with him. Because he was not medically cleared to play his freshman season, Mathis would enter the 2020 season as a redshirt freshman. Before Mathis’ medical scare he participated in 2019’s G-Day game where he went 15 for 28 passing for 113 yards. He wowed the crowd when he scored a touchdown on a trick play. Given the five sacks he incurred, there is room for him to improve his game.

Carson Beck is a 6’ 4” 225 lb. four-star Mandarin High School quarterback from Jacksonville, Florida. While being recruited, Beck participated in summer camps at Georgia. In his senior year in high school, Beck posted a 7-4 record and logged 1,843 passing yards, 136 completions, 278 attempts, 49% completion rate, 20 touchdowns, and nine interceptions. and won Florida's Mr. Football award in 2019.

The Transfer Portal

Jamie Newman is a 6’ 4” 230 lb. graduate transfer from Wake Forest. Although he did not play much in his freshman season, during his junior year for the Demon Deacons he had 220 completions from 361 attempts (60.9% completion rate), 2,868 passing yards, 26 touchdowns, and 11 interceptions. He had a 145.3 QB rating. Also, he rushed 180 times for 574 yards (3.2 average) and had 6 rushing touchdowns. In 2019 his Demon Deacons went 8-5. Although Newman’s numbers are impressive it was expressed that NFL scouts wanted to see him play in a pro-style offense, and Newman desires to be a first-round draft pick prompted him to enter the transfer portal. Dawg Nation is happy that he decided to continue his collegiate career and transfer to Georgia. Maybe Newman will be the first quarterback in 40 years that will take the Dawgs to the promised land.

JT Daniels is a 6’ 3” sophomore transfer from the University of Southern California (USC). He was a highly touted high school recruit that was rated as the sixth-best prospect in the country, and the #3 quarterback in the 2018 class. Only Trevor Lawrence and Justin Fields were rated higher at the quarterback position. Daniels was a true freshman starter for the Trojans where he completed 216 attempts with 363 passes (59.5% completion percentage), passing for 2,672 yards, 14 touchdowns, and 10 interceptions. He had a 128.6 QB rating. During the first game of his sophomore year against Fresno State, he suffered an ACL tear ending his season. Because Kedon Slovis posted better numbers in 2019 than Daniels did the prior year, Daniels felt that he would have to fight to get the starting quarterback job back. Instead of committing to earning the starting quarterback role at USC Daniels decided to transfer to Georgia where he feels confident that he will be the starting quarterback in 2021, and possibly in 2020 if eligible to compete.

Here is my take on the quarterback situation at Georgia

From statistics alone, the job appears to be either Newman’s or Daniel’s to win. Although Beck had a good high school career he does not have the college experience to lead the dawgs to the playoff. Although Mathis has been with the Georgia program for a year and showed some flashes of greatness in the 2019 G-Day game, his collegiate development was stymied when he underwent emergency surgery to remove a brain cyst. Bennett has solid college experience, but most of his success came at Jones County Junior College. Without a capable quarterback to lead the Dawgs, dreaming of a national championship would have to be put on hold for a year. With the need to have a skilled quarterback, securing Newman from the transfer portal seems to have solved the quarterback void. Newman took a Demon Deacons team, that historically wins less than 40% of their games, to an 8-5 record (62% win percentage). Newman was a one-man show at Wake Forest. Given the supporting cast at Georgia, even with tougher opponents, Newman is expected to be in Heisman consideration at the end of the season. I will be watching to see how Wake Forest fares this year without Newman.

So why did Georgia get Daniels from the transfer portal? Here is the deal, if Daniels has to sit a year he would more than likely be the starter for the 2021 season. This would provide the Dawgs with a seasoned signal caller giving Mathis, Beck, and Brock Vandagriff more time to develop. Although Bennett has experience he may not stay around to be benched. Honestly, I do not believe that all of these talented quarterbacks will stay on the team, especially with the acquisition of Daniels. If there becomes a battle for the starting quarterback position in 2020 could Daniels actually be named the starter over Newman? If the current quarterback stats were the determining factor for who would be the next quarterback at Georgia Newman would get the nod. However, when you consider the talent that Newman and Daniels played against, Daniels had more challenging opponents. Also, with the COVID-19 pandemic putting a damper on practices, the installation of Todd Monken’s offense has been put on hold. If Monken had been able to work with Newman starting in March I do not think there would have been much speculation about who the next signal-caller would be for the Dawgs. Although voluntary workouts began on June 8th, none of the players have been able to work with Monken. Georgia got word earlier this week that they would be able to participate in six-weeks of practices starting on July 15th. Will six weeks be enough to install Monken’s offense? It suffices to say that whoever adjusts to Monken's offense the fastest, including Beck, Mathis, Bennett, Neman, and Daniels, will be the initial starter. Also, going to the transfer portal to get two quarterbacks who are capable of leading the Dawgs in 2020 gives them the needed depth at quarterback. This was an area that was lacking in 2019. It appears that Kirby does not want to have another situation he had last year when Georgia only had one quarterback (Jake Fromm) that was capable of taking the team to the playoff. If Daniels is able to play in 2020 it will set up one of the more interesting stories in college football this year. And, whoever wins the starting job would have truly won it.

Ironically, this potential battle would not have been if Fromm had stayed at Georgia for his senior year. As it turned out, Fromm going to the NFL helped Kirby Smart and the Dawgs avoid a precarious situation. Given the current pulse of America with public and private sectors focused on eradicating anything with a racial tone, it is easy to speculate that Fromm would have been kicked off the team and possibly expelled from school given the racial tone of his text message asserting that “elite white people should be the only ones allowed to buy guns”. Also, Newman would have gone to another school because he was set on transferring in January. In this scenario, the news about Fromm’s text messages would come four months too late. Georgia would have taken Daniels and hoped that he would be eligible for the 2020 season. If not, this entire conversation about who would be the next starting quarterback for Georgia would center around Bennett, Mathis, and Beck.

[jeromevalseka]

so i was going through my drafts (always a wild time) & i found the beginnings of a valeyne soulmate au & it's not terrible (always rare when going through my drafts) & since ive been in such an awful valeyne mood i thought i'd share it because tbh i don't know if i'll continue it but i do enjoy it & hope you will to!

cut the safety line

It's supposed to be condescending. Mocking. An imitation of comfort, an inversion of their relationship. Jerome pats him on the cheek, the pads of his fingers warm, and it shouldn't mean anything.

Instead, it means everything.

Bruce fractures the moment Jerome touches him, splits himself into two states of being: who he was before and who he is now. All of his pieces that felt jagged and out of place slot together. There's something weightless about this. Something intangible. Indescribable beyond his general refocusing that this is what it means to be whole. It's beautiful. It's frightening.

Jerome is looking at him with wide-eyes, wild-eyes, something fragile and shattered peeking through in his stare. His hand is still on Bruce's face. It's warm and calloused and Bruce has to restrain himself from leaning into it. There's a shift between them. Broken tension reformed into something new. They just look at each other. Everything is so much more vibrant now. Jerome's hair is red and his eyes are blue, and before these were just facts, but now, now that everything feels so much clearer, they're revelations. His skin is a mess, scarred and scabbed, blurring the line between man and monster, but all Bruce wants to do is press his fingers along his cheeks, follow the raised skin until he knows every indent on Jerome's face.

An eternity passed in three seconds.

Then, his hand is sliding down Bruce's face until it settled in the space between his shoulder and his neck, Jerome maneuvers them around, pushing himself between Bruce and the crowd of hostages, obscuring him from view entirely. Somewhere in that sea of people Jim Gordon cursed loudly. On the stage, neither of them cared.

"Well," Jerome said, his voice only meant for Bruce's ears. "This is certainly a… surprise. Who would of thought? A stick-in-the-mud like you, my soulmate." He laughed, his mouth stretching widely, pulling itself taunt, blister red, but there was no humor in it. It was cold. "What a joke."

Bruce felt something twist low in his gut. He wanted to move closer to Jerome, press himself against every tangible inch of him until he was absorbed completely, patching his way through all of his brittle and rotted parts. He wanted to move farther away. The haze that had fallen over him was lifting. Reality crashed back down. Harshly.

What did it mean for him that his soulmate was someone like Jerome Valeska?

Bitterness rose up in his mouth like he'd swallowed turmeric powder. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to do. Jerome's hand was still on him, distracting and grounding and Bruce thinks he might like the feeling. He didn't know what to do with that realization either.

He wet his lips. "What are you going to do?"

It's a valid question.

They can't ignore this — their bond. They're bound together now. Two halves of the same soul. Contact wasn't exactly necessary, of course, but being away from your soulmate caused discomfort, even pain, especially if the bond was new. Bruce didn't care about that as much as he did the fact that his other half was apparently a murderous psychopath who constantly terrorized the city and seemed to have a personal vendetta against him.

Something had to be wrong.

He knew it wasn't.

Absently, Jerome stroked his thumb against one of the tendons in his neck and Bruce unfurled, boneless for just a moment. It was a nice feeling. Jerome froze, his expression stuck between awed and suspicious, leaving an uncomfortably vast margin for interpretation.

"Don't you worry a hair on your pretty, little head," Jerome said, finally. His voice was rougher than usual.

Then, in a move that left Bruce off-balance, feeling like he'd been flung into the depths of Gotham River, he removed his hand entirely, twisting the pair of them around again so it was Bruce whose back was now facing the crowd of spectators. With his customary showman's flair, Jerome skipped backwards, pulling a knife out of nowhere and, in a blur of motion that Bruce had trouble following, threw it towards his brother who'd been watching silently from his seat on stage. Jeremiah let out a painful, choking sound, but Bruce only had eyes for his soulmate, who was quickly making his way towards the back of the stage.

Before he escaped completely, as slippery as water, a new franticness edging his movements, he looked back at Bruce, splintering, and called out, "Au revoir!"

With one last flash of his coattails, he was gone, leaving his hostages, his followers, and the members of the GCPD slowly pushing their way through the murmuring crowd, confused.

Bruce closed his eyes.

. . . . . . . . . .

There was a shock blanket around his shoulders. Was he in shock? Maybe. Probably.

The crowd had dispersed, a few stragglers pushing up against the police barricade, curious, too curious, about the spectacle they'd been forced to witness. They didn't even bother to whisper. Their voices carried, lamenting and syrup-thick as they chattered amongst themselves about the poor, unfortunate Wayne boy. He never catches a break does he?

He wished he could lament himself, but reporters were buzzing around like thirsty leeches and sitting in the back of an ambulance was no place to break down. Later, when he was back in the manor and after Alfred went to bed, he'd wrap himself up in one of his mom's old quilts and choke down some of his dad's old scotch and he'd force down the scream he could feel building in his stomach. He'd force it down until his hands shook and his vision blurred and everything in his head restored itself to sense. He'd sit until daylight started to peak behind the curtains. He'd sit until he knew for sure that he'd patched up all the cracks that formed.

The certainty in it soothed him. Not by much, but enough to keep him balanced on the knife-sharp edge of falling victim to a panic attack.

It helped when he didn't think.

So he didn't.

He just sat, wrapped up in the shock blanket. He looked like a victim in a way he hadn't managed to since his parent's death. A proper one with trauma stringing its way through his veins. There was something new in his veins, but he didn't think it was trauma. Or maybe it was. He was tired. All stooped shoulders and heavy eyes. Pathetic.  He hoped the paparazzi appreciated it.

The silence he'd built around himself was broken by Jim. He looked just as bad as Bruce did. It wasn't comforting. He sat down beside him, their shoulders knocking together, and Jim allowed the quiet to build up again, let the tension rise as he considered whatever it was he wanted to say.

"I think it's safe to say that this didn't go according to plan." Jim offered, apologetic.

Bruce thought that might have been an understatement. His eye twitched. Wildly, he thought about telling Jim. His fears were lodged high up in his throat, and his fingers curled into the shock blanket, and he felt his heartbeat pick up in anticipation. Jim would understand. He'd always helped him before, and, logically, Bruce knew that he'd continue to help him, even with something as complicated as his soulmate.

I met my soulmate. He's a monster. Am I a monster?

That felt childish. He couldn't force the words out.

Instead, he asked, "How's Jeremiah?"

It's what he was supposed to ask, after all. He's Bruce Wayne and he's supposed to care about everyone, all the time, because if he doesn't then—

Then what?

He wasn't sure.

Something cataclysmic settled itself on the edge of his tongue. He felt raw. Exposed. There was something painful and bruised carving a space for itself at the top of his throat. He might have been shaking.

Jim answered his question, unaware of emotions coiling through him. "The knife went through his shoulder, but missed the artery. The paramedics sounded pretty confident that he'd make a full recovery."

"That's," Bruce searched for a word, "Good. Could you let him know that I'd be happy to take care of any medical costs? Or, actually, I'll visit him myself. He shouldn't be alone right now, what with—"

He faltered, the words dying on his lips.

What with Bruce's soulmate on the loose.

He couldn't breathe.

He remembered how it felt when Jerome touched him. It was better than any high he'd ever had. Complete euphoria. A merging of selves. They were soulmates. For whatever reason the cosmos decided that of all the people in the world, Jerome Valeska was his divinely ordained other half. A murderer. A monster. And Bruce probably would have done just about anything to touch him again. Logically, he knew that was because of how new the bond was — a sort of failsafe to ensure you were around your soulmate to make sure the bond could really build itself up — but still. This whole situation was reaching an unparalleled level of bullshit that he hadn't been ready for.

Jim grabbed his shoulder. Concern was rolling off of him in waves. His stomach twisted. "Bruce what's wrong?"

He was shaking. He couldn't get the words out. He couldn't explain. He couldn't couldn't couldn't couldn't—

"I met my soulmate." Bruce said, crumbling in on himself.

"Your—" Jim started, confused, before understanding crashed over him. "Oh, kid."

[asphaltapostle]

What I have long predicted is now coming to pass: Google believes it should assume control.

Out of all the technology companies that have made my knees knock and my voice hoarse and my [Tweets manic](https://twitter.com/search?f=tweets&q="google" %40ficklecrux&src=typd) as a technoheretic in the past several years, Jumbo Google would easily take home the winning trophy for Dystopian of the Millennium. I have been rehearsing an especially dear pet prophecy of mine, unsolicited, to family, friends, and podcast guests since 2011 in which I end up arguing quite convincingly that Google is a dead ringer for the 16th-century Vatican: an inherently self-isolating organization with an absolute monopoly yielding gargantuan levels of essentially passive income from a service which nearly everybody transacts with, but only Google understands (and is therefore assumed to be its only possible provider,) which inevitably develops such a distance from the rest of the populace and their way of life (in tandem with total notoriety and celebrity among them all) not intentionally out of malice, but from the delusion of mythically-bestowed philanthropic duty that is borned of and compounded by this economic and cultural isolation in a perpetual accumulation of power and wealth that radicalizes the monopolizers — the majority already highly predisposed to zeal as they would’ve needed to be in order to find themselves in this singular, universally powerful position over every other class — and leaves their egocentric minds to wander exempt from all criticism save for that of fellow radicalized monopolizers, who together begin to feel more and more comfortable wondering aloud about themselves in increasingly fantastic presumptions: what if all of this was bestowed upon us because we are superior to them? What if it is our divine responsibility as superior beings to take charge and shepherd the common people as our sheep — for they cannot possibly know as well as we what is truly best for them?

You see it, right? And you can feel a very specific flavor of terror that is both awed by the scale of the circumstances created by so few human minds and sincerely amused by the absoluteness of your own inability to alter them in any way. Perhaps you even recognize this taste as one perfected by Christianity’s ancient advertising business, but Google knows so much about you that it’s rumored to’ve been selling user data to the Judeochristian God for some time now at a 10% discount, and so we extrapolate and anticipate, yes?

Of course, it’s admittedly satisfying for me to deliver you to this godfearing place in the most perverse look what I saw first that you didn’t see because you’re just not as bright but lucky for you, I’m so fucking generous with my wisdom sort of thinking around which the entire personas and livelihoods of fringe movement fanatics are built upon, but this is my one thing, okay? I’ve been waiting years for the right time to formally argue this theory in depth, and — thanks to this year’s public spotlight finally pivoting on the giants who’ve been silently swallowing their competition and relentlessly forcing their already ridiculous margins higher and higher in relative obscurity for decades, the time has come, indeed. The common people’s trust in Google had a godawful week.

Don’t Be Evil

On Monday, Gizmodo reported that twelve frustrated Google employees were quitting the company in protest of their work assisting the Department of Defense to “implement machine learning to classify images gathered by drones” for the detail fleeting Project Maven, despite some 4000 employee signatures on a letter addressed to CEO Sundar Pichai requesting (in full) that he “cancel this project immediately,” and “draft, publicize, and enforce a clear policy stating that neither Google nor its contractors will ever build warfare technology,” citing the infamous “Don’t Be Evil” motto, which Google then proceeded to remove from its code of conduct for the first time in 18 years the day after the New York Times article went to press, on April 5th.

On initial approach to the abstract of this story, from the ass to our thoughts arrives an easy narrative of a Silicon Valley mutiny comprised of twelve brave, conscientious souls who’ve been eaten up inside by their complicity in the filthy deals made by their power-obsessed CEO over scotch and cigars in a dark D.C. study — kept awake for months by the sound of his puffing cackles at satellite images of dead toddlers in a bombed-out street.

Ah ha, we say. That man is no good, and he just wouldn’t listen! They knew they didn’t have a choice… They only did what they had to do…

The reality of internal disagreements at Google, though, manages to be even more theatrical. The sheer volume of correspondence must surely be beyond anything capable of the enduser’s imagination, so let’s phone a friend: my favorite peek into the day-to-days of inter-Google existence is an old blog post by Benjamin Tilly on his first month at the company in which he was compelled almost immediately to describe in great detail how best to “deal with a lot of email in gmail” at peak efficiency using shortcuts and labels. “As you get email, you need to be aggressive about deciding what you need to see, versus what is context specific.”

Now we have a bit better idea of the aggressive emailing that was a sure constant on a normal workday at Google in 2010, so it must’ve been deafening after 8 years of Gmail development as 4000 employees no doubt vented, debated, and decided to organize last month, though without making much headway because the leadership’s response was apparently “complicated by the fact that Google claims it is only providing open-source software to Project Maven,” this new knowledge having significant effect on our mind’s image of Sundar Pichai’s activities in Washington: he is now swapping seats with a frustrated Colin Powell in order to install OpenOffice onto his desktop from a flash drive, and we recall that Google’s Googleplex headquarters resembles nowhere in modern life more than a brand new playground built in a design language borrowing heavily from Spy Kids. And though these Twelve disciples are unnamed for the moment, a few of them could immediately land book deals by going public, and every single one would always have by default not only the badge of “I landed a job at Google,” (which is really to say I have hit Life’s maximum level cap,) but “I worked at Google for a while, but ended up quitting to do something else,” which is guaranteed to make you the most interesting, intellectually superior person present in whatever crowd for the rest of your life. The ultra-cool Sarah Cooper quit Google to become a comedian and even got to talk to Kara Swisher! I won’t pretend to understand big tech’s diminutive bastardization of prestige, but “more than 90 academics” jumping to publish an open letter (adjacent to a huge DONATE: Support the Campaign to Stop Killer Robots button) in which they “write in solidarity with the 3100+ Google employees” who’s terrible boss decided to help some lackeys in the Pentagon set up their email and didn’t text back for a whole hour doesn’t sound 100% sincere. Notably, I don’t know how or why the fuck 90 people would go about collaborating on a single document, but if it really was managed, they definitely used Google Docs… At one point, it was fun to think about the history of the friendly side-scroller-playing garage ghouls and dorm dorks who gave cooky, wacko names to their dot com startups in parody and defiance of the lame-ass surname anagrams on the buildings of their established competitors, but those who’ve stuck around have only done so by becoming expert at SUCKING UP EVERYTHING around them, and it pisses me off every day how worried I am that my species will finally be done in by a company with a name like Yahoo! and be known only to a bunch of adolescent interdimensional silicon blobs 30 million years in the future as that bipedal race who remained dignified until the last 0.01% of their reign on Earth, when in way less than a single generation, they all just went FUCKING INSANE and blew themselves up because they suddenly hated all sense.

“Google” is perhaps the worst of these to have to shout in fear and/or anger in your last moments as it sounds in American English like you’ve startled your subject with a ticklish pinch followed so immediately by an esophagus-busting chokehold that the two events appear simultaneous, and in real English English, it almost always sounds like a parent speaking of a character on a pre-K children’s television programme whom they find quite foul and upsetting, but will manage to refrain from expressing so otherwise because they know that Teletubbies shit is the most quickly forgotten stage of television viewership. It’s fascinating how exclusive the word “Google” is to American English because in everything else it really is complete nonsense, but lets halt all etymological discussions right now because we’ve only now just finished with Monday.

The Soul Ledger

On Thursday, all of my Google experiences, suppositions, and soul-detaching screenshots were usurped when a thoroughly alarming internal company video called The Selfish Ledger was leaked to The Verge, which I watched once then and do not want to watch again for the sake of this piece, but I will. Though the big V has been disappointingly timid for years about editorializing — when tech journalism desperately needs some confident, informed opinion more than ever — Vlad Savov’s accompanying article should be read in its entirety, to which I can add my own terror where he perhaps could not. The production style is technically identical to that of the very popular thinkpiece-esque, motion-graphics-paired-with-obligatory-sharpie illustrated videos which you find playing at max volume on your mom’s iPad from where she’s fallen asleep on the couch at 9PM, but the repeating stock string soundtrack multiplies one’s discomfort as such that we would all end up in the fetal position without remembering the transition were it not for the appearance of trusty old Dank Jenkins, who’s face I thankfully associate heavily enough with his infamous down-and-out Tweet to be a welcome respite in attention before the very scary hypothesis for which it’s been buttering me up, as best summed by Vlad:

> The system would be able to “plug gaps in its knowledge and refine its model of human behavior” — not just your particular behavior or mine, but that of the entire human species. “By thinking of user data as multigenerational,” explains Foster, “it becomes possible for emerging users to benefit from the preceding generation’s behaviors and decisions.” Foster imagines mining the database of human behavior for patterns, “sequencing” it like the human genome, and making “increasingly accurate predictions about decisions and future behaviors.”

The next time the what if they do something scary question comes up in a casual conversation about Google, you’ll have something a lot more substantial than just speculation. Or will you? The Verge reached out for comment and got an awfully convenient response.

> This is a thought-experiment by the Design team from years ago that uses a technique known as ‘speculative design’ to explore uncomfortable ideas and concepts in order to provoke discussion and debate.

Wow! Leave it up to grand ole Googe to reveal the ultimate excuse for just about any suggestion or behavior, though it does seem almost deliberately uncomfortable, doesn’t it? No matter — whether or not this video was ever about a project or tangible product development, or simply to explore uncomfortable ideas because it is proof that the company has reached that critical Vatican stage — if you’ll remember — where they now feel comfortable exploring Very Bad, but Very easily made Real Ideas amongst themselves about what would happen if they allowed their system to nudge its users around a different, slightly less optimal route to the bar, let’s say — without their knowledge — in order for the system to collect traffic data for the sake of its own interests? Which would be, technically, in the interest of all Ledger users now and in the future, so why not?

> The ledger could be given a focus, shifting it from a system which not only tracks our behavior, but offers direction towards a desired result.”

This, my dear privacy-obsessed friends, is the real issue with data collection — its power over huge groups by way of their behavior and it is never going to be remedied in any significant way by ad-blockers or VPNs because the EndUser shall always out number you 50 to 1, even decades from now. EndUser does not understand — or, crucially, have any desire to understand anything technical about what leads to the PewDiePie videos playing on his filthy screen. Here’s a great opportunity to escape Silicon Valley’s technolibertarianism and resign your Darwinian empathy in favor of meaningful and truly-effective action: if you want to avoid a future Google Church (or Google Government, more worryingly,) you should invest your time, effort, and knowledge into electing officials more capable of understanding and regulating Big Tech.

Google Government

The internet as it stands is made possible by Google as the goto resource for online advertising. In 2016, “Google held 75.8 percent of the search ad market, bringing in $24.6 billion in revenue from search ads,” according to Recode. By 2019, “that’s expected to grow to $36.62 billion in revenue, or 80.2 percent of the market.” Google’s edge in user behavior and targeted advertising combined with their extensive resources available developers to integrate independent platforms with Google’s software services at various levels makes it very difficult for any advertising-funded individual or organization to compete online without dipping in to the Google universe. YouTube — a Google property since 2006 — has actively invested in and supported a new career path entirely within their own platform that is rapidly becoming popularly aspired-to by young children, while the reality of existence as a full-time YouTuber is far less glamorous than the immediately-visible surface would indicate, and the effort already expended by my generation in its pursuit has already made us insane.

So, what would the internet look like if Google didn’t exist? We know they’ve been working with the government now on various projects, but what if some terrible exposed transgression of theirs suddenly warranted an immediate shutdown and seizure of all Google properties? Well, we know from a post on Quora by Googler Ashish Kedia that even 5 years ago, the sudden absence of Google for “2–3 mins” set the internet into a bit of a panic, reducing overall traffic by 40%. In the time since, we’ve all grown exponentially more dependent on Google properties: billions of people rely on Google Maps for directions and, thousands of companies (including the Pentagon and other government institutions) rely on Gmail and GSuites for intercommunication, file sharing, task management, etc., and more and more academic institutions rely on Chromebook devices running connection-dependent operating systems. It’s not much of a stretch to argue that Google’s sudden disappearance would constitute a Civil Emergency in the United States, which will only become a stronger and more serious incentive for regulatory bodies to look the other way.

Though the tangible results of advertising have been quantified significantly in the past 20 years, one can’t help but wonder after watching YouTube ads for the new Mercedes-Benz S-Class on toy unboxing videos if the companies who spend big bucks on Google advertising understand where their money is going, but they know that if they don’t advertise there, their competitors will. This, of course, is a fundamental practice of a monopoly, and it’s yielded Google so much fucking money that they cannot possibly spend it fast enough, as evidenced by their investments in life extension — so that, perhaps, they will have more time on Earth to figure it out.

When you build a collection of the world’s smartest people in a self-sufficient environment that discourages exploration of other lifestyles and ideas, and you sustain the society with a gargantuan, relatively low-maintenance revenue stream, you create a culture which is not only well-primed for isolationism, but is also extremely inefficient. In fact, with its vast collection of abandoned products and properties, Google must surely be one of the most inefficient companies in history. Thinking back on recent software releases along with its recent entries into the hardware space, Google is also one of the worst competing tech companies. Very little aside from Gmail, Google Photos, Google Maps, and Chrome have found their place or garnered significant usership. Google Play Music is unintuitive and impossible, Google Allo and Google+ are all but forgotten addendums to other services, and Google Search — its core, original function — has been out of control for years, and all of them are designed blandly and excruciatingly tiring to look at.

Google Shun

If this all has stirred nothing more in you than a desire to eliminate Google from your own online life as much as possible, there are alternatives in almost every one of the sphere’s they dominate. As of late, DuckDuckGo has accumulated a fair amount of buzz and coverage as a private, more relevant alternative to Google’s plain old search engine. Though it is clever enough to list us as the first result for “extratone,” I’ve found it simply insufficient as a replacement in my own life because, essentially, it rarely delivers what I’m looking for. By contrast, Dropbox Paper is such an elegant cloud notetaking and word processing software that it makes Google Docs look simply idiotic (and warrants its own review very shortly.) For getting around, know that MapQuest is not only still around — it’s now a very competitive mobile navigation app.

I, myself, have allowed Google as complete of access to my information and behavior as possible because I believe “privacy” is a completely futile endeavor if one wishes to be a part of society, though I do often use alternatives to Google services simply because I fucking hate the way they look. If you want a more complete list of services and software that allow one to shun the Google God entirely, you’ll be forced to seek out less dignified sources like Lifehacker and Reddit and decide if the additional time you’ll spend using most of them to accomplish the same tasks is really worth your digital angst.

If Google were to be more explicit with its users and staff about its aspirations to take over control of our lives, there will be little to do but accept the future they intend to create because they’ve long been too powerful to control. In the meantime, I’d suggest you continue to use whatever software works best for you and refrain from wasting your time fretting on conspiratorial suppositions of what the tech industry may be doing to “invade your privacy,” because there is no longer any such thing, nor will there be ever again. However, I would also urge to you worship your own Gods, whomever they may be, for Google will never be worthy. I, for one, shall only pray to our Mother Sun.

#social #google #future #web #privacy

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[storiesofwildfire]

Major Blog Updates as of Feb 12th, 2019

A couple weeks ago, I posted a hiatus notice that I would be going on a temporary hiatus while I cleaned up and reorganized by blog. 

Important changes:

i. First and foremost, probably the most obvious, a URL change. For over six years, I used the same URL, so I’ve finally updated it to storiesofwildfire

ii. Bio updates. Originally, I said I was going to edit and possibly rewrite my bio. After reading through my bio, I found that I was still happy with a lot of it, so I just edited things that needed updating as well as adding more information where I felt it was lacking. 

Things added or changed in the biography:

Added personality tab

Extended stats to include or clear up important information

More thorough explanation of Loki’s magic in the bio

More thorough explanation of Loki’s children and who knows about them in the bio

Completely rewrote Loki’s relationship with Sigyn in the bio

More thorough explanations of how Odin manipulated, used, and controlled Loki throughout his life

Other things that I’m probably not thinking of right now cause my brain is scattered.

Just read it okay? I worked really hard on it and I’d appreciate the read!

iii. Overhaul of pop-up tabs. Now my dossier, verses, and secondary muses pop-ups have collapsible sections in them, allowing me to move information that was previously in clickable links right onto the pop-up! Now you can read my verses and bios for my side characters just by clicking on the headers inside the tabs. No redirection necessary!

iv. Some verses have been removed from my verse overview for simple lack of current interest on my part or never used by any of my partners. 

These verses include:

v; a book of fairy tales - Once Upon a Time verse

v; i carry no weapon; for i am - Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse verse

v; jotun runt (by appearance) - I don’t feel the need to give Loki in his Jotun form it’s own verse anymore, it’s simply Loki. This verse will still make an appearance, but will only cover Loki raised on Jotunheim

v; lady loki - I don’t feel the need to give Lady Loki her own verse because she’s still Loki

v; namesaked - Viking verse

v; never shall we die - Pirate verse

v; there be walkers - The Walking Dead verse

v; they’re not the predators anymore - Attack on Titan verse

v; uncertainty - Amnesia verse

v; war on midgard - AU where the events of the Avengers happened differently. I still do threads like these all the time, but they tend to fall into different verses, making this tag useless.

These have been removed from my verses pop-up, but most of the write-ups still exist in my verses info tag. If people are still interested in them, I’m more than happy to write them!!

v. Rules have been updated and elaborated on. Please read them.

Changes still to come: 

Everything I have left to do is pretty cosmetic at this point. 

i. I am still planning on creating a new background for my theme, as I’m pretty tired of looking at this one. Photo editing does take me a while, though, so I simply haven’t finished the background yet. Once I have the background completed, font colors and such will likely be changed as well.

ii. I still need to write up a couple of verse descriptions. Currently, they are still listed as TBU within the pop-up tab!

iii. Still have lots of headcanons to write that I haven’t gotten around to yet. They’re sitting in my drafts and will come as I feel like writing them.

iv. New promo featuring my new URL.

v. New icon and new hover banner (though I’m hoping to knock those out tonight)

vi. Possibly adding photos to my verse tab. I haven’t decided on that yet.

Anyways... I wanted to give everyone a thorough run-down on everything I’ve done and everything I’m still planning to do. I also want to thank everyone for their patience. Now that most of the overhaul has been completed, I’m going to go back to regularly updating and will, hopefully, get through drafts and asks here soon. I have a lot, though, so getting caught up is probably going to take some time.