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gaytobymeres · 10 months

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hmm

#ive never dated anyone before #and i am not counting my chickens before they hatch #but given that ive been on a few dates with someone and i really like them #it has been making me think about if i did get a gf #and had the depressing realisation that i would need to keep her a secret from my slightly homophobic grandparents #like obvs other people have to be in the closet with all their fam all their lives so its not that bad relatively (ha!) speaking #but i spend a lot of time with them and do a lot to help them out. they live literally like 10 mins away and i see them every weekend for #a coffee. and the rest of my immediate family see them often incl my brother and his wife. and its like :/ that if i am ever in a #relationship ill not be able to share it like my brothers are able to #also the stress of being accidentally outed by a family member who forgets my desire not to be out to my grandparents #oh well! we will cross that bridge if i ever get to it

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oceanwithouthermoon · 14 days

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i posted abt this on my tiktok story but i need to rant more so im putting it here 😭😭 the way a lot of mikosai shippers (on tiktok, pinterest, reddit, etc) are is such a big reminder to me of why i hate the strictly romantic soulmates trope with every fiber of my being 😭😭😭 people who interpret soulmates as "that means theyre canonically together" regardless of how the characters actually feel about each other and if they ACTUALLY get together is so fucking gross to me oh my god its so fucking gross i hate forced romance so bad 😭😭 someone cant just say "hey, we're soulmates so you HAVE to date me and its literally weird and impossible for you to like anyone else because i said so!!" and also aiura WOULDNT do that anyway ???? HELLOOO???

you have no idea how many people ive seen call all saiki ships with anyone other than aiura "problematic ships" just because "theyre soulmates"

#SOULMATES DOES NOT MAKE A COUPLE CANON <333 #'she SAID theyre soulmates so that means hes HERS now and its gross for u to think he liked anyone else'#hey thats actually... really bad!! hey she actually cant and wouldnt force him to date her!!! hey what the fuck!!!#not a mikosai hate post #only weird forced romance likers hate post <3 #if someone doesnt like someone then they dont like them... them being soulmates doesnt change that...#thats actually just not how it works and the idea that that WOULD be how it works is gross #and a lot of the fics ive read of them end up with aiura being all 'ha i told you so! i knew id break u eventually!'#'i knew id get to u if i just kept calling u my boyfriend without permission and saying we're soulmates!'#which like not only would she not do that... its also just really gross #like u really thought 'he doesnt like her so she wears him down and doesnt leave him alone until he relents' and like... u went with that?#oh...#weird...#idk maybe im crazy and also im having a hard time phrasing any of this #but it just brings up so many consent issues and it makes me really uncomfortable #like according to THOSE shippers it wouldnt be by his own will or feelings if he eventually fell in love with her #it would just be because the universe said so and he never had any choice #mikosai is so cute when u think of it in like the totally opposite way #in MY opinion i love mikosai AFTER aiura accepts that soulmates doesnt mean he HAS to date her #that HAS to happen before they date and THEN theyre really cute #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post

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toastsnaffler · 10 months

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in a hilarious turn of events my flatmate didn't even know I use any pronouns....

#i thought when she was talking abt how her parents thought i was gonna come out as trans and kept checking my name/pronouns-#that the joke was that im ALREADY trans but in ways they dont know abt.... but nope she genuinely didnt know 🤭#to be fair. i dont rly let anyone in on my gender business unless we're close enough to be dating or its an anonymous online space #like im legally cis and thats fine. idc abt ppl using my name + she/her bc thats not my gender identity its just AN identity that i use-#to navigate the world without ppl being fucking nosy bc i pass as + am sociopolitically treated as a woman (if butch lol)#to ppl who are friends ill joke that my gender is dyke (true) and to friends whose gender falls on a similar spectrum-#or who are transmasc ill talk a little more honestly abt it bc theyre usually able to understand better than anyone else #other butch dykes w a weird gender going on are the only motherfuckers who actually Get It but theyre hard to come by tbh #to be frank i dont fucking know whats going on w my gender. and i dont rly care enough to do the introspection to figure it out rn #i have so many other problems in my life and im lucky that most of my beef w gender can be solved by presenting butch + binding #and using any pronouns around other queer ppl. its actually incredibly funny to me when ppl she/her me bc its like tch. this chump hasnt #unlocked my level of gender yet. pronouns and names in general are so far disconnected from the way i exist in the world...#its just smth thats fun for me to play around with + makes me feel weird sometimes but in ways i havent distilled yet yknow #and this has been my approach to gender for like?? 4-5 years now??? and likely will continue to be for a long while..#anyway. its not actually that surprising my flatmate doesnt know bc shes cis so ive never felt compelled to have a deeper conversation #abt gender with her. but also i could sweeaaar its been mentioned bc almost all our other friends are trans lol #and also ive been introducing myself at queer sports socials w any pronouns and i swear i talked abt that w her..... whatever #and my pronouns are on discord and shes def seen my tumblr before but maybe i didnt have them in my bio at the time... i digress #i kind of prefer cis ppl she/hering me tbh. theyre not able to they them or he him or whatever else me in a way that matters.....#altho i do find it fascinating when she or other ppl elect to use neutral or masculine terms for me. raising an eyebrow and taking notes #like when she got a job and joked abt me being her househusband.. pulling up the fem/masc tally chart and chalking a line up #a la nona the ninth.... ive been trying to figure out whos inhabiting this body my entire fucking life with no luck girl #ANYWAY just smth to think abt. im so tired i think my brain is gonna start seeping out my eyeballs #im gonna watch some more pluto and read and then -> 🛌#another 6:30 start tomorrow woohoo #.diaries #zzzzz

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scrawnym4 · 9 months

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ive been thinkin recently on if im aromantic. now i don’t care about that because i wanna get to understand myself and my identity better but because itd be be really funny if it turns out i was. guy who draws romantic couples in his freetime is actually the enemy of cupid

#i remember being on call with a friend and recollecting on how ive never romantically liked anyone or ever had crushes #and he briefly mentioned i might be aromantic #i never really thought of that because i’ve always connected heavily with romantic relationships #i’ve just never really had any sparks with anyone #so eh who knows #like i’ve dated before and that was wonderful but i’m not sure i felt the same sort of romantic-ness as them i suppose #i guess it doesn’t really matter. i’m not really in any place to date now anyway #all i know is i wanna fuck and i think that’s a decent spot to be in #scrawny rambles #this isn’t any serious reflection. at this point i’m like whatever happens happens #i could fall head over heels for some motherfucker tomorrow who knows

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ubike-official · 1 month

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date back on for sunday now. His friend is okay. thank god. And uhhh, yea now we're finally be fr about the "hey we met on a dating, lets be so fr about what our experience has been" uncharted territory besties. we're not at "so what are you looking for?" but i already essentially told him my approach is to just really try getting to know ppl i find interesting and letting a spark develop from there w/o pressure. kinda like in school where you consistently see people in casual settings. and he thought it was a good plan so uh. here we are.

#basically he's had no luck and only like 2 matches (excluding me i believe) and all those people just never responded to him #which must be so funny bc now theres like. me. where i have seen his id. know his govt name. address. dob. and vitals. like. crazy.#and he's seen mine too ofc. equality. and uh. sounds like he's never dated. never had any bug feelings for anyone despite wanting to fall i #love so bad. which is... interesting. i feel like he has liked ppl and not recognized that it's a crush. nit just wanting to be friends but #imma hold off on sharing that until further developments.#i basically told him that I've had a very different experience. not to like brag but like most women will have better luck on apps (also hi #profile kinda sucks. all 4 photos look like a different person. his like actual answers to prompts aren't bad. they're good. thats what mad #me think 'oh i think i could rlly get along w/ this dude' but he'd attract a very niche type of woman)#which i also. didn't fully say. bc time and place. it'll come up but not right now. but yea so i told him that like. ive gotten many matche #but a lotttt of it is super low quality. lot of wasted time. so like. yea. we all have a bad time on dating apps till someone sticks and we #dont. we basically have both admitted to having idealized people in the past and getting the ick irl. and yea. building some good common #ground. ive always wanted to ask to ppl ive gone out w/ what their experience looks like but i feel like thats not smth to talk abt till #later on and I've never wanted anything past a 2nd date before so. yea.#although my first date did tell me but she was poly and like much more open to talking abt that than most monogamous ppl would be

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orcelito · 2 months

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Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.

But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.

#speculation nation #and then U add in the fact that the girl she broke up with me for is already dating someone else (poly sort of situation)#and im just like. WHYYYYY did she break up with me instead of trying to negotiate poly???#she was gonna at first but when i expressed concern about poly given her obvious communication problems about it #then she dropped me like a hot coal. like sorry i wasnt about to let myself be stood up and ignored for basically a whole day #just to accept u trying to negotiate poly. like What?????#anyways i may have a bit of a history with being a bit of an asshole and breaking up with them #but at LEAST ive never broken up with anyone to immediately start dating someone else #and at LEAST ive broken up with them in person and not over text!!! the fuck?????#i keep alternating between 'surprisingly okay with it all' and 'maybe a little sad' and 'absolutely fucking LIVID'#and i keep wanting to yell at her more but i already said quite a lot of things. so id just be repeating myself #and at that point id just be a vitriolic piece of shit. which i try not to be.#so im letting her live in peace while i continue to be So Pissed about it and it just sucks man lmfao #why do i gotta be the bigger person fr. i even apologized for the hurtful things i was saying in anger. literally in that same conversation.#and she gets to pull this stunt and walk free and spend so much time with her new 'love' ignoring the world etc etc #honestly i hope it fails miserably for her. bc sure theres a chance it works out but every single part of this is impulsive and So Stupid.#and even tho my ex agreed with me when i told her it was INSANE. she was just like 'i have to' like OKAY????#jesus fucking christmas she's revealed a side to me that i really hadnt seen before.#so i hope it fails and i hope she tells me about it. i hope she owns up to her mistakes. for my own satisfaction.#but i have 0 intention on ever taking her back. because what the fuck????#i may be a flawed individual with plenty of problems. but i still have basic fucking dignity. and i am NOT accepting this back in my life.#and god damn her friend is moving into the unit across from mine for this coming year #and i may have to see my ex sometimes bc of it 😭😭😭#the friend seemed generally level headed tho. idk if i happen across him & he doesnt avoid me maybe i'll ask him what he thinks of this #bc she was treating me with such love and affection showing me off to all her friends. and then she drops me like a fucking coal.#i wouldnt say i made friends with them myself but we were at least friendly. so i doubt theyd have a good opinion of her for this.#so would the friend loyalty take precedence? or would he be willing to chat with me and confirm Yeah what the fuck?#bc if i had a friend who did this same exact thing id be side-eyeing them SO hard.#id support them bc theyre my friend but i would also be like 'hey uh Why did you do that. that was pretty awful of u you know that right'#& itd also make me more cautious of them too. for being Able to drop someone so suddenly lol.

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shortnsweetgf · 8 months

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#cant sleep bc im thinking so many thoughts #hiding in the tags #i think im finally over her?#like today and the last time we hung out i didnt Feel it anymore #and its not like i dont love her anymore i really really do but now its in a best friend way only i think?#the Feeling wasnt there which i guess its a good thing #and like yeah maybe its the depression maybe im just not feeling anything rn but also like #thats why she broke up with me and even when her depression got better she never got back to Feeling it?#and last time My depression was bad i wouldnt feel anything at all except when we hung out #so it feels different now #not necessarily a bad different just Different #but im so fucking scared of losing her #like im so scared of when she starts dating again #and yes ive been thinking of dating again im desperate for a girlfriend #but shes the one who broke up with me and shes had to deal with this before with Him and she didnt feel bad #but when we started dating He felt bad so like. i get him #and im so scared of never getting into a relationship again bc she’ll Always have a part of my heart like even if i dont Feel it anymore #she’ll always be number one for me #and im scared ill never let myself love anyone else bc i wouldnt think its fair to them bc of her #and idk.#i really dont wanna lose her she means so much to me #and im so comfortable around her in a way that im not with anyone else #idk where im going with this #sometimes i really fucking hate being aroace #and not being able to tell the difference between different feelings #:(#whatever

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maybelleteas · 4 months

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how do I get over the feeling of being a bad Bisexual Woman when I used to think I preferred men, had more sexually intense desire for them, and wanted to marry a man but still desired a casual fling with a woman back then when now, since then, after the only sexual touch I've gotten in my 30 years of life is from a woman, I am essentially a febfem wrt a long term situation, and want to marry a woman. I feel like I'm betraying this hypothetical person in my head bc I didn't always feel this way 😭

#biphobia #febfem #i thought i was straight for so long but ive never even kissed a man #i really think i may never have sex with a man #kind of a shame in some ways bc im curious about it- but i could also be wrong #like maybe i will meet a man that i like that much idk #i just accidentally got into some shit on reddit with lesbians not liking me bc of this as some of my friends know jskgdhs #and i tried so hard so long to not offend anyone and i still did #like i made a post about meeting women in the Wild and they found an old post of mine where #i was asking in the bi subreddit a year ago if anyone prefers one sex in the sense their attraction feels more intense- and i genuinely #thought i just felt that way about men??? but when i went out with a woman i realized oh nvm ive never felt this way dating men #i was convinced i wanted to marry a man before overall #even if i was bisexual #which took me a long time to consider myself bisexual #and i didnt wanna yell about it bc it would be rather irrelevant if im only serious about guys bc i DO know some bi women like that #irl. which is fine... anyone can do what they want

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bogfroggy · 8 months

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really loving someone brings a certain zest for arts and crafts into your life. im giggling and kicking my feet thinking about making a card and putting stickers on it

#personal #being corny on main sorry #not even purely romantic either i think abt my best friends and want to paint them a painting #having a small yap in the tags don’t mind me #but also being in love fr is crazy #im gonna bake this mf a cake. im gonna make him a collage im gonna get back into film photography #i don’t think I’ve ever experienced genuine love like this before it’s hard to talk about sometimes. like oh i rlly did find my soul mate #and it makes me wanna cry. never thought to look for my soulmate in the boonies of northern ontario but he’s my best friend ever #we just out here in mutual disbelief like oh. you’re The One for me and it’s so clear #if u been following me long time i know ive said im so in love with anyone I’ve dated before. but oh it’s so different this time

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winkocafe · 1 year

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#life has been a mix of sucky and great these past couple of months #im so grateful for the ppl whom i love and cherish so so much #but deep down im also scared that they’ll leave eventually and we’ll stop keeping in touch after grad #next week is the last official time (for a while) that we all hang out before ppl start leaving the country #life goes on and change is inevitable #also so incredibly bothered by someone who completely shattered my trust a few months ago #someone I genuinely cared for so so much and the first time ive ever felt like it was okay to pursue smth romantically #without my trust issues getting in the way #they had so many qualities that i value in a partner and i rly thought for the first time ever that I should give someone a chance #it’s been 3 months since it ended and yet im nowhere close getting over them #it shouldn’t be this hard to get over some u never dated????#also I fucking hate the term situationship #my friends keep reassuring me that THEYRE the unlucky one for letting someone like me go #but I can’t seem to believe that no matter what #I know I believe it deep down but my thoughts are super clouded at the moment #and all I think about is how I’m so incapable of being loved #it’s going to be so hard for me to ever trust anyone like that again or open my heart to someone #and that’s the saddest part of it all #I’m that rly chill and easy going friend that’s harbouring a deep sadness within atm 🤣🤣🤣

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lily-blue-blue-lily · 1 year

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4x12 episode of all time or something

#it was such a fun episode omg #theres not enough just fun episodes of this show that dont have some insanely dramatic incident in them #like the whole marjan going on dates sequence #with the 126 as her chaperones #that was flawless perfect my favourite thing ever etc etc #owens reaction to the dog guy #so good (also like me too bro (until he turned out to be a cheating asshole lol))#all the tk/carlos kid stuff #though what is it with couples never discussing if they want kids before getting engaged in shows #i feel like ive watched it so many times #the lizard!!#carlos' reactions to the lizard!!#the whole scene at the beginning trying to figure out who to officiate their wedding #carlos' colour wheel comment may be the greatest line of dialogue in the whole show #not to be dramatic or anything lol #anyways i loved this ep so much im so very in love with this show #does anyone actually read these liveblogs?#occasionally they get likes #or replies that im terrible at replying to (sorry!)#but does anyone consistently read them?#not that its gonna stop me i have too many thoughts about this show to not ramble endlessly about it #im just curious #911 lone star lb

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jonny-b-meowborn · 1 year

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Dude I miss the feeling of being in love. Like no one ever loved me back and I've never been in a relationship, so I can't miss that, and while I'd love to date someone, I just really miss the feeling of having a crush on someone