#ive talked about this in the tags of some random ass post but now im putting it here cause i cant sleep and want to fight someone

[vilelittlecritter]

You ever sit in a fandom space for so long that now looking at it kind of makes you want to rip your nails off.

Yeah.

[maeshelix]

Seeing someone we follow clown on analog horror is always so fucking weird. like motherfucker no horror media is scary why is it only joke worthy when its a freaky face on some old ass boobtube instead of in front of a handheld camera or some actor. its all fake as shit none of it can hurt you. jumpscares are as non scary as analog horror cliches as existential horror as slashers as zombie flicks as etc etc.

[moonkitty]

ive been on this site for a decade now and im genuinely curious. where did they get this number from? like i get that i am 100% biased because i am obviously in gay circles on this site and not straight circles. and i feel that people who are making "are you lgbt" polls to try and "gotcha" staff are also in overtly gay circles. but im genuinely curious. where did they get the "1/4th gay people" number from?

like. what are they counting? induvisual blogs? side blogs? how many gay people dont actively post about being gay online? are they counting inactive blogs? tumblr was very popular in the early 2010s and i specifically remember a big handful of fandom cishet or unknown people on here at the time (who just did not know or post about being gay.)

how do they KNOW that 1/4th of the userbase is gay? wouldnt they then know what % of that are bigoted hate accounts then? what % are posting cp? or even just the % of bots? i know they obviously dont want to tell us that but seriously. where on earth did they get this number from?

regardless, i genuinely need to search ALOT for non bigoted blogs run by normal cishet people. because well, cishet people dont exactly post alot about being cishet unless if they fall under hate accounts. and obviously its not hard to find bigotry or hate blogs on here. im talking about normal accounts that post normal stuff like animals or memes or whatever. and even then you obviously arent going to know the sexuality behind the user of a random normal blog.

meanwhile i can go to any popular tag in here. ANY. POPULAR. TAG. and it is genuinely hard for me to find users who are not some kind of gay.

tldr: i am 90% sure they are pulling this number out of their ass or they are just straight up lying. i would love to be proven wrong

[jacedified]

things i cant stop thinking about !!

most of this is going to imperium related so enjoy my brain turning mwah

also pls ignore my mid sentence rambling i have a serious problem

warnings: gore/mentions of death , violence , imperium , swearing :D , adult with internet access cant shut up

- yandere caller being a shade

(someone said this on a hc list and now im actively running with it)

- sams eyes being brown

(as a brown eye haver i know he misses them dearly and i wnna give him the worlds sweetest biggest longest hug)

- the idea of gavin “slicing” peoples threads for kody in imperium

(forcing my husband ((i need therapy im married to a fictional incubus)) to do such acts simply because you want to you sick freak ILL FUCKING KILL U- oh wait gavin already did xoxo kiss my ass from hell kody)

- the look on kodys face at the end of it all

(as previously stated i wanted that man dead.. i just wanna make sure hes actually gone yknow)

- what asher’s smile looked like when him and david were together (imperium)

(knowing that david was gone, hearing the random audience member asking for david to be alive and left alone in the first imperium video, knowing they were mates, knowing how heartbroken asher was after his death i just wanna see them happy maann ((it feels criminal to use emojis on tumblr)) 😭😭)

- if lasko calling freelancer “my dear” when you first met him in the haven was a sneak peek for his later ((is the word prime for like normal redacted universe characters i can’t remember, like prime lasko yada yada)) listeners name

- if no one was watching gavin WOULD HE HAD BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF IMP!HUXLEY???

(the amount of shit talking hux did when freelancer and gavin first get to the haven had me ready to fight in an instant ((it mightve just been my overwhelming adoration for gavin but still)) like he was acting like an annoying jock who gets a job as security for some fuck ass rich university and thinks hes on top of the world like dont piss me off huxley or damien gets it in the other universe so help me god)

- is anyone else as attracted to the tension between vincent and asher in imperium as i am..

(i have no words for how “yippee kicking my feet happy smiley kiss now kiss now what if u kissed rn” i was when asher and vincent are talking but also i feel like pet ((is that vincents listeners name or vegas I CANT REMEMBER PLS)) was behind a door listening in and getting jealous bc “that should be me holding your hand..”

… excuse the outburst)

- vampire milo.. thats all

(GAWD hes so hot like he always is and always has been but jesus FUCKING christ theres something about him having been a vamp did something to me that i cant even explain)

- what was avior saying to lasko to make him irritated with him..

(i mean yeah hes a yapper but i feel like it was just “hey we need help down here” and lasko rolling his eyes and waiting two weeks before actually doing anything)

- WHERE TF IS ELLIOT WHERE TF IS SUNSHINE CAN I BEAT BLAKES ASS??

- what would have happened had milo not broken the ward

(again someone else mentioned this ((i would tag them but it was 6hrs ago and i was just scrolling and reading)) and now i cant stop thinking about it)

- what is avior hearing in his last video

(its been a while since ive actually listened to aviors playlist again but there was a voice or sounds he was hearing after getting out of the meridian and its just been on my mind)

- gavin having a myspace account

(he would love myspace i just know he would and i feel like he’d be an avid tumblr user but like its just him posting his favorite pics of himself from the week and updates on whatever small pet him and freelancer would very obviously inevitably get bc he saw it in a pet store or on the street and couldnt resist)

- what happens when freelancer gets old..

(freelancer is just that.. a freelancer. they arent a vamp, or a demon, or even some secret third thing.. what happens to them and gav when they get old. have they had that talk yet? i shouldnt think about this bc it makes me spiral into a bucket of tears and sadness bc its the same thing with sam and darlin’ like we wont know what theyll do when their partners get old and they are still young and immortal.. sigh 😔)

- can i cut the meridian open with a knife if i tried?

(how thin is the meridian? how easy is it to access? how long would it take me to literally stab it open? ((i have serious issues)) )

- imp!damien..

(yea i have a crush on him or whatever nothing crazy)

- is the person asher catches in imperium baabe or is it just random listener #18683 ?

(obviously my first thought when i listened to imperium like a year ago i thought baabe nd asher would be together ((i was delusional and on an asher high)) but then when it was revealed that he and david were mates in that universe did that mean baabe just doesnt exist or are they the person that gets caught by him or again some secret third thing)

- what happens to angel in the mess that is imperium, honestly what happens to all the shaw pack listeners

(obviously sweetheart is left out of this equation bc them and milo are still happily obsessed with each other in every universe BUT angel, baabe, and darlin where yall at??)

- WHERE ARE THE AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THE EMPATHY DEMONS IN IMPERIUM UNIVERSE??

(this just popped into my mind but WHERE IS MY SON?? what have u done with my son WHERE IS MY SON??!!?)

- is anyone else as obsessed with just erik and his mind?

(that handsome blessing to my youtuber universe.. i could listen to him babble for hours and will do so bc it feeds my “listening to nerdy man babble on abt his fixations” quota)

- what imperium versions of characters do people prefer over their counterparts

(personally i prefer imp! huxley, damien, and vincent over their prime versions ((still dont know if im using the term prime in the right context)) idk what it is but well i know what it is for huxley and damien but we dont need to get into why i dont like hux and dames rn :D but for vincent i just like seeing a different version of him i think.. hes so confident with his decisions, and knows what he wants in imperium i just want that for regular vince too.. sigh)

uhh anyways.. i think thats enough thinking for now, going back to sleep

stay safe out there

[halfusek]

Imma be honest with you, before BATDR came out, you literally held this fandom together with bandaids and stick glue. 2019-2022 was basically the dry age of Bendy content

haha thanks i tried my best

i Do enjoy being in a fandom, i've always looked up to the danny phantom phandom a lot cause the vibes there are just fantastic, there's a lot of things going on, people have many interactions with each other, so i wanted to try to introduce that to the batim fandom and i'd like to think that i sorta did

i know that it is a popular opinion to not engage with a large portion of the fandom but instead just grab a few friends and sit in a corner with them but like

engaging with a bigger portion of the fandom every now and then can be SO fun and give people an opportunity to meet other people and idk

fandoms are communities of people just united by liking A Thing so it can be challenging to make a space for many people to get along but i dont recall any super serious only fandom related dramas in batim?? weirdos are in every fandom and you just blast their asses into oblivion with a block button

and there have been cases when i felt kinda bad for blocking someone because that meant i'd exclude them from something i wanted to think of as a fandom-wide event for everyone who would obey it's rules but that's where this outlook on curating your experience into a smaller circle is very much the way to go lol

wait what am i talking about

aha yea 2019-2022 everything fucking DIED here but i was having a blast drawing my comic and also a lot of people who were into the sides of batim i was into mainly (the human characters) stayed around more than everyone else and it was really chill, i've met a lot of people and made many friendships :)

as the fandom was getting smaller there was a noticable drop in the amount of notes batim related posts were getting which is a very big symptom of a fandom dying but i think at some point it sorta stabilized who stayed there after batdr was delayed and delayed

i reblog and tag more than an usual tumblr user (when im active cuz sometimes i can not reblog anything for months because im busy lol) and that didnt start without a reason, it sure is a habit now and i really enjoy doing it, letting people know what i think about their stuff and putting nice things on display for others to see

reblogs are not just crucial for singular artists but also for fandoms as a whole, thats how you keep that train rollin

though here is a sad thing that many many artists dont reblog a lot, or reblog to their sideblogs that arent followed by nearly as many people as their main blogs

and thats like understandable, im the weirdo who puts a whole mess of many posts on my main but i think thats also the most effective way to help other people get traction and i never see this mentioned when people complain that tumblr users dont reblog as much stuff as they like

its even kinda funny to me when people complain about their stuff not getting reblogged when they dont reblog others stuff themselves at all xD though there is a bit of cyanide in that thought heheh

on the other hand reblogging doesnt work on stuff that i could see from other people: the stuff i reblog i get from browsing the bendy and the ink machine tag sorted by new + sometimes when i bored i scroll through my dash and reblog some random things but i follow 2k people so i dont really see any individuals art specifically, just a collection of random posts that i am able to scroll through in a few minutes (and every minute theres a bunch of new posts posted/reblogged by those i follow)

and that can take a long time! if ive been busy for months then scrolling through a few months worth of stuff people around the world made for bendy is so bad even on a beefy computer that it just pushes tumblr to its limits and takes HOURS to reblog and tag for me, and then i might even hit the daily post limit and have to continue tomorrow

but i enjoy doing this, bendy is my fixation after all and i fucking love art and what people can create for this thing that i like i soooooo desire to see it all

and i try to reblog as much as possible, though i dont obviously reblog *everything* from the tag, sometimes i just give a like or i just dont like the thing cuz its not in my liking and thats it

but i did make it a thing that during ink demonth i reblog all entries for the event no matter what my opinion of them is just to give some of that Exposure TM because hey maybe some of my followers Will like it

i dont run a super duper popular blog but there is a bunch of yall there and i think me reblogging something in this fandom at least may give a litol boost to the notes on a post

and its always fun to see peoples reactions that dont expect me to reblog from them but then i do and they freak out a little, i think i love it on the same level as getting comments on my own art :) its super wholesome

man by writing this post im procrastinating on something but fdnjkfdfd

but anyway thank you!! and im glad you think so because i did try to accomplish that :D

[bluewaterhigh2005]

hii i know this is random but bear with me. ive never read the vampire academy books but i have seen the movie for the first time last week and ive been like COMPLETELY insane about it ever since. the absolute craziness of psychosexual obsessive girlbestfriendism has captivated me and now i live breathe eat roselissa. spent a lot. of time on vampire academy wiki...thinking abt reading the books even but that seems a little excessive plus i dont wanna read about rose dimitri relationship i dont condone it. BUT i am getting desperate ive seen bad fanart on pinterest ive even venturend into some bad fanfic territory theres nothing in the roselissa tumblr tag and your blog is the only light in the darkness. im so obsessed with them its really bad. NOBODY does it like them theyre so insane. okay so-> i was thinking you could use this ask to dump some roselissa opinions/headcannons/notes app essays etc or like literally anything🙏. also sorreee for how long it is & thank you & also should i watch the show? ok ok have a nice day byeeeee❤️

i am so fucking glad that it's 2023 and people are still watching this stupid perfect lesbian camp masterpiece of a film. okay first of all you are soooo real not wanting to read the books because of fuck ass dimitri like what a pathetic flop. *i* love the books like i would love my own children but keep in mind i did read them for the first time as a 12yr old and even now when i reread it's mostly to warmup before rereading bloodlines which i think is the most perfect magical romantic series ever written. heterosexuals won that round.

anyway i think everyone in the world should watch the show it's so much fun and the roselissa necromancy reveal goes soooooooo crazy like it's gay excellence. also a) australian rose hathaway is INSPIRED, b) the rose/dimitri of it all pisses me off significantly less in the show purely because he's like. not even a teacher he's just lurking and hanging around and i find that very funny. no friends no job he's just like me fr, and c) lissa wears funky little hats and that's so special to me she is my baby girl princess sweetie pie forever and ever and ever

okay moving onto actually talking about roselissa it is first of all very important to me that you know the 3rd book opens with rose inside lissa's head during a lissa/christian sex scene and she's very much like "i don't want to have sex with lissa..... BUT-" and it sends me every time especially because that was actually the first book i read so my literal introduction to this series was rose being weird and psychosexual about lissa which kind of coloured my view of them forever. roselissa above everything of course but i AM a roselissachristian throuple truther i think they're very fun and rose and christian best friendisms are very dear to me.

i do keep a running list in my notes app of songs that i would put on a roselissa playlist (like an insane person.) and the #1 entry is mitski's i don't smoke because well literally if you need to be mean be mean to me i can take it and put it inside of me..... that's literally their whole entire thing for a while there like rose spending an entire book like. siphoning off lissa's mental illness and making it her own SOUNDS like a joke but no it's #real and #devastating. bonus i also have a list of lissa songs which is topped by BRUTAL by olivia rodrigo because nobody has ever suffered the pains of being a teenage girl more than my perfect bisexual vampire princess.

my post-series thoughts /headcanons are often pretty depressing on the roselissa front but i don't want to get into depressing shit so i will instead talk about my current favourite idea which is that after they break their bond at the end of the series. you'd think they'd start being normal about each other. but NO they get even more freaky and codependent. i like to picture people coming to court and just sighing when they see them sitting in each other's laps on lissa's throne like not AGAIN. and dimitri idk dies in a fire or something. idk if you've ever seen grey's anatomy but there's this bit where a guy is like "my wife and her friend have sleepovers together in our bed with me in it" and TO ME that is soooo roselissachristian core. he's THEIR third wheel and he knows it.

also sidebar it pisses me off SOOOOOO bad seeing how people on the internet so fundamentally misunderstand lissa and her relationship to rose like for literal years now like they're always out here calling my girl self-centred and saying she doesn't love rose as much as rose loves her which is crazy because hello she brought rose back from the DEAD with her mind powers. her whole flop family was dead in that car and she brought back her girl best friend like what more can you even say about that. she's gay and she's insane and she's so completely Not Normal about rose

[twildflower]

Long awaited doodle dump lmaooo its cut off bc i have some i want to spotlight and they make the post too long n i dont wanna like clog up peoples tl :3

Also mature tag is bc i talk abt some rlly uh fucked up stuff under cut

This is like um sorry i was in a silly goofy chinese mode whoopsies i did translate it tho its not direct translation bc uh chinese and english diff umm its kinda weird in english it’s actually more like green saying did gold teach you that again but i like my personal translation better also look at my handwriting that every single person ive known in my life say is ugly as fuck wooooooo

Hehe Silver in Golds clothes and Reds hat :3 i like this alot i was gonna add gold and red as you can see but i didnt finish yet I’ll probably repost it when i draw it

バニバニガール！i love すりぃ’s バニー go check it out its a really fun song about bunny (girl)s also damn. That hand. It does not look like its drawn by me.

Cutoff here theres a few doodles im not too proud of/not very uh rated e for everyone/random doodles so they will be under the cut B)

Silver with like ribbon tied on his hair :3

This is based off like a pixiv artist’s regold drawings of like red taking gold’s eye n eating it or smth im very interested in like this specific. Uh. Thing. Niche? Idk i just like the idea of like. Hehe. Stolen eye or smth sorry im very sick in the head :3 i see alot of like amputation and other weird stuff on pixiv too from like all the fandoms ive been in but thats not really my thing i really like this eye thing tho okay what the hell im marking this thing as mature im talking abt way too mature stuff

Eerr random eye doodle that turned into a full thing but i wanted to draw goggles too so eh its not very correct tho lmao also hi yes my ugly ass handwriting again i think its fine as long as its not unintelligible yk I don’t know why like everyone i know well most people say its bad like. Grow up at least its readable >:(

This one makes me want to mark this post as mature but ehhhh nah ‘s fine i think. This was written before the second one sorry. I will just be fr now I have been drawing so many like this kinda faces and sometimes anatomy poses bc!!!! I am drawing. Cool. This is just the one that looks better after a few practices lol. :3 Also i like drew the small part of the hair somewhere but idk where’s that paper my whole school binder is just fucking messy af bc i keep going thru where my doodles are. So yeah that thing is probably never going to be found again until i throw papers away or study for exams which is like a month later i think idk im gonna kms i hate maths im so failing mathswhy is it functions i dont understand shit

The fucking maid day doodle thing its so fucking ugly lmaooooo pls im gonna die

Sorry i did not realized i rambled so much under almost every doodle im very scatterbrained im actually so sorry i dont know why i do this im going to fucking cry i do this with literally anything even in schoolwork okay its so laye i haeto sleep maybe ill edit the long brambles out on laptop tmr my phone is lagging the shit out

[chriscapelli]

Look I'm not trying to be cold I just been reflecting on alot.

Pretty set on actions speaking and more specifically people acting out violently towards me for some cracked out reason and honestly I pass. I did my part you never did yours and now I'm made out to be the bad guy cause I don't talk to anyone and they wonder why and some even think they did something to me when it's not even guilt by anything. It's just that I have nothing to say and want to talk but don't want anything that happens in my life to get back to specific people. It's not you it's literally them. I have given chance after chance but yeah same results Everytime and I'm literally not crazy but my whole life around those same people...

I asked myself what the point of keep friends like that was the second I was out of my mothers government housing shack the first rime and that really changed me, for the better, I have an amazing new family all blended from different everything aside from beliefs and interests, yeah sometimes they get annoying, sometimes I feel like I ask to much but they have always been there when it matters. All of them. I seriously am so grateful for the family I have made for myself. We all know by now I don't tag people and I don't really post photos with friends (or more specifically their faces) anymore but that doesn't mean I'm lonely either I'm just living my life, like I did my best growing up, I was a child some shit went down then some more then it went back up all the way up and hit the fan then it wasnt even there for ten years then it came back but this time just went for the fan.

That didn't stop me, still graduated x3 working on x4, still doing my best even though I'm injured from getting hit that one year and just refused to actually admit it, im still adjusting to it, even right now it's throbbing it's been like this since moving from Winnipeg end of 2023 again with the help a couple literally 3 amazing people.

Certain people have seen me, certain people are yet to see me before my visit ends but it's not like there wont be other times, okay well for some of you, not all of you will see me, i make plans like last minite unless you make them with me and because I do not even kmow when i have time, transport, etc. I do my best to communicate with peoole but then dont ever really much conversation I like too but not if it feels one sided or cold or fake any of that like if you're giving off "i don't want/need you here" type of feelings that's cool but if you do that and not tell the person you're shitty, you're using me. I get those types of people all the time and honestly if I come up in 90 days for an answer of what I enjoy the most about you amd come up shirt after months or get ived for months I'm probably gonna make like jimmy neutron and blast away into your screen.

Again I'm grateful for everyone in my life currently them ones that go out the way to check up on me, send me shirt clips of videos, random bullshit messages and all thing between, I don't want it to change. Just grateful for thise people today.

Oh and 100% might be an ass sometimes but I definitely do not mean it that way you must understand I mean what I said maybe not the tone but what I said yes unless I correct myself on some dumb Grammer thing I'm only human after all.

[bro-strider-hate-blog]

YOUR TAGS ON MY SIS POST??? IMMACULATE

I will include my tags again but only because i cant get enough of myself and not to sound like im tooting my own kazoo but this is the one time in my entire life that ive been objectively correct in every way

Lengthy and unrelated thing under the cut: 

Let me talk about canon bro for a second 😌 even though its barely and tangentially related to this and you dont have to read it <3, in fact i would encourage you not to read it i just wanna run my mouth. People love to use him as a cheap villain in their dave angst fics which is like... hilarious to me. Like i get it, since hes abusive he must also be misogynistic and homophobic and transphobic and also genuinely hates dave and revels in his suffering right? Lmeow no, hes just some guy and despite everything he is in fact trying his best. Hes naturally intense and aggressive and this doesnt translate well to child rearing, especially since his one goal is to make dave strong enough (physically and mentally) to Survive whats coming. The random sneak attacks ? The traps littered around the house ? To keep dave on his toes and buff his spatial awareness. The cameras ? To monitor his progress (if hes not up to standard then we’ll just up the “training”) and / or film some puppet snuff (puff ? Snupp?) so he can keep running his dumb website and like provide for them or some shit , or ig to buy random crap and throw it around the house. Who cares if the kid sees the porn anyway its just puppets, plus hes seen way worse at that age and turned out fine (no he didnt). Dave has to be resourceful , he has to be creative and think on his feet , lets have impromptu rap battles and scrabble games. He has to know numbers like the back of his hand (idk why this is even a phrase do any of you memorise what the back of your hands looks like) to effectively utilise his sylladex.... actually nobody even uses that shit idk why bro was so insistent on it. Dave is his protege, his charge, dave is NOT his friend and hes not gonna let him forget that. He teaches him all he knows, in the way he knows. Making comics, mixing music, ironic jokes, being cool and getting shit done. Actually its GOOD that the kid is terrified of him, if hes the scariest thing in the room then dave wont fear anything else. Lets spar then, if dave wins then hes trained him well. If dave loses then hell become resilient. Either way he has to be strong or else hell die, training is necessary. Its either this or failure and failure equals death. Do your own laundry, ration your own food, become independent as fast as possible because i wont be around to take care of you forever

Nothing bro does is without reason, neither is it “sadism”, its all very logical to him despite being horrific to any sane person because his only friend is the mansplain-manipulate-manspread puppet that raised him and he has awful coping mechanisms that barely stretch past beating himself 1. up 2. off. Like he kept his baby alive to the point where it could keep itself alive (kind of alive) and thats a win to him.

That was my thesis on why bro is not a bigot like ,, he makes porn of fucking smuppets, that gives him zero chance to fetishize The Ladies. I doubt he has porno mags littered around the house its just endless plushie dicks and asses (and the two puppets handcuffed together were legit kinda funny like Why). So why would dave have internalised homophobia if it did not stem from his brother ??? Acting as if his only friends werent exuding anti gay vibes, like christ, john “im not a homosexual” egbert, him and rose’s competitive flirting gag (before they found out they were related >.>), just generally the three of them accusing each other of being gay, yknow, as kids do (jade is exempt from the argument we love jade here). Things were just more homophobic back then and its not like bro and dave had a sincere talk about gender and sexuality in the 13 or so years they lived in the same house like why would you even come out to your younger sibling if you could just not !!! Lol !!! I could be getting all this info wrong lol so correct me if im wrong but bro has this cute comic artstyle and it was about someones charge (? Sibling?) straight up dying and the saw guy makes an appearance the end , like there was no sex or gore or whatever but if you look at sbahj the second page literally has an incest sex joke like where does dave even get his material from , which online sites has he been trawling , well haha its not bros job to monitor his kids search history lets ignore it and move on if the kid wants to be gross and make dumb jokes who is he to judge , spread your problematic wings and soar into the cancel clouds little guy

Anyway heres a disclaimer: if youre gonna clown on this post and tell me im an abuse apologist or some shit just understand that i have a lot of free time and love being a huge asshole when provoked but like youre so welcome to add to the discussion i love bullying my favourite character bro strider by steamrolling him we’ve talked about trans rights for too long now is the time for trans wrongs

[midasinc]

tagged by @earthbound-in-doubt ty!!!! im vv self-absorbed and love to talk about my projects so anyway here we go !

"Copy the first few lines of your last ten fics, note any fun observations, then tag a few more friends."

im tagging all and any of my moots or anyone else who's feelin' funky and also loves to talk about their stuff

i.) courfius 3+1 modern fwb holiday fic i am still working on to this day aka it is untitled atm

"Marius suffered the biggest heartbreak of his entire life when he was twenty.

He thought that he and Cosette would be together forever. He could picture them getting married; her terrifying father walking her down the aisle and giving Marius a nod of approval that he eternally longed for. He could picture their first house, their first baby, their first-"

this starts off what is actually a courfeyrac-centered fic, but it begins with a short marius-centric area to sort of give us exposition, yk? yk.

ii.) this is an unfinished random wip entitled "les misery" in my google docs. do with that what you will

"You can feel it in your gut when you overdose, Grantaire had once explained to Joly. There’s this pressure that builds up in your stomach and you realize your body is dying.

He chokes on bile with his head in the toilet, wishing that the pressure would go away. It was just a tylenol, that was all he took- but then Joly chose to take some shots with Grantaire and Bossuet and he felt it. He felt it and he knew something was wrong. Joly did what he had to do: he ran to the bathroom, stuck his fingers down his throat, and waited for things to get better.

You can feel it in your gut when you overdose.

That was two years ago- he never quite got the voice out of his head."

i actually have been wanting to write modern joly for a long time. this also uses my concept of les amis being more like distant work friends rather than a group of friends

iii.) the finest of specimens

"The first thing Combeferre notes is that Joly’s hair smelled of apples. His part was smoothed down with a pomade that left his dark hair shiny and as he leaned forward to work on Combeferre’s arms, the scent was all he could breathe in with Joly’s curls up against his nose."

this one is actually published on ao3 and i like it. it's my canon era jolyferre porn, we all know her by now

iv.) rhino

"It took two weeks for the bruises to fade.

Grantaire had strategically chosen the date of his surgery to coincide with the day winter break began. Half of his friends went home to celebrate Christmas, and the other half took advantage of the holiday they didn’t celebrate either to travel or to see their own families. Nobody would bother him, he’d have nowhere to be, and by the time everybody was back he’d be totally healed."

oh im actually mad at myself for not finishing this wip. it's a modern piece about grantaire getting a rhinoplasty dealing with post-surgery depression and the people around him's various opinions. i have a funky ass nose so this fic is very personal to me

v.) gala fic i never finished

"It took seven years, a nearly-abandoned graduate degree, and a job at the hardware shop on his street for Enjolras to get to this point. He tied Combeferre’s tie- the one thing he picked up from fancy events his parents hosted when he was a child- and took one more glance in the mirror with a smile."

i hate this opening. the reason i never finished is because this is the worst and most boring intro ive ever written. if i ever end up working on this, the two paragraphs of it that exist must be annihilated

vi.) self-indulgent angst fic i write out of spite and won't be published!

"Enjolras did not enjoy drinking as the rest of his friends did. Only once had he ever gotten drunk- at twenty-two he decided to give it a shot with Courferyac. His night went miserably and Enjolras had gotten sick down the front of his own shirt, not to mention he woke up feeling even worse the next morning and had to skip a class on a day where there was the surprise visit of his favourite French political science theorist.

So he believed that his aggravations with the notions of intoxication were justified, and he had stayed completely sober for another four years without any problems."

i still like enjolras in this fic but im not elaborating further on the plot

vii.) andromeda chapter 15

"A hand traces the corner of her cheek. Joly smiles as he leans over Musichetta before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Sleep well, okay?” He says softly. “I’ll see you in a bit.” She smiles back. Musichetta had always thought humans were rather ugly, but seeing Joly above her was more comforting than anything else- he would always be the exception."

i cant believe i never finished this. sorry to my 3 scifi au readers, i got burnt out from everything. i miss musichetta though, this was an interesting dive into the alien culture and theology but alas. never finished.

viii.) ...

"Joly had picked up a new hobby.

It wasn’t anything crazy, really. Joly had gathered several… interesting hobbies over the past few years that were weirder. He’d had a fencing phase, a chemistry phase, and even a slam poetry phase (Jehan particularly liked that one), but now…"

this is from a self-indulgent kink fic i wrote for myself that will also never ever EVER be published. i am no longer elaborating

ix.) orange

"Cosette had always assumed that marriage would be the final saviour to all of her hardships, that she would live out the rest of her days with a man whom she loved. When she first became acquainted with Marius, she knew for certain that he was the one. He was handsome and kind and had a rich family, even if his coats were a bit moth-eaten and his cheeks were hollowed. He was a poor student and certainly looked the part, but Cosette knew that he would grow to be an important man with well-mannered morals and would love her without a second glance."

this was a canon era fic about cosette and marius in their marriage as marius struggles with ptsd and cosette begins to realize that she is into women. i wish i finished this, it was supposed to be an anthology w a fic on ao3 i wrote called red when i planned on writing a series about lgbt characters in canon era

x.) beastie

"As Grantaire lurched forward, the red in his bottle jumped out and landed with a splash onto the floor. His nose scrunched up with an ugly grin, watching as Gavroche held his breath.

“You don’t know the Beast?” Gavroche shook his head.

From across the Musain, Courfeyrac leaned back in his chair. “Oh, hush, ‘Taire. You don’t know of any beasts or ghouls.”"

this was a canon era body horror about grantaire turning into a fucking monster and i do actually want to finish this. i LOVE body horror and i want to throw grantaire in the plinko machine

[bananonbinary]

Hi, I saw you've been talking about tma fics and I'm wondering if you have any recommendations

okay here’s a few from my bookmarks and subscriptions (these are almost all gonna be jonmartin cause tma is a LOVE STORY and any story where they arent in love feels ooc to me tbh):

(blanket warning for canon-typical shit in these, mind the tags in the links)

1) Patchwork: still updating. really good web!martin. Martin was killed by prentiss when she followed him home that one time, and the Web brought him back for unknown reasons. now he has spooky mind control powers, whoops? some good angst and a lot of cute monster!bf stuff between him and jon.

2) The Reverb In These Holy Halls: complete, but with some supplemental scenes and one-shots still being updated. s5 jon goes back to episode 1 and Fixes Things. ive read every goddamn time travel fix-it fic out there and this is one of the best ones, there’s a lot of REALLY interesting twists and people aligning with entities you might not expect. good good found family shit. also theres a nonbinary desolation!oc in the supplemental stuff that i fucking adore.

3) Illicio: still updating. come, join me in rarepair jonmartingerry hell. the eye tries to control jon by giving him gerry as a “gift,” and now gerry is basically tied to jon, whether anyone wants it or not. set in season 4, with all the fucking angst that entails, we got pining in so many goddamn directions over here.

4) The Reminiscences of Martin Blackwood, Post Mortem: complete. theres not much to say, its a victorian au. everyone is sad and victorian. its good. i like it.

5) ceylon, assam, and darjeeling: complete. honestly? this one isnt my typical fare, it’s far more sympathetic to elias than i usually go for, but its so well written that i can’t help but love it. Jon brings about the apocalypse on purpose, so he has a say in how it goes down and can protect his friends. he pretty much loses himself completely to the eye and martin struggles to bring him back; the writing from the perspective of The Archivist is *chef’s kiss.* written before ep 161, so the apocalypse is very very different than how it plays out in canon.

6) dustsceawung: still updating. i tried so hard to avoid moth!jon. i really did. i thought it was kind of silly and im not generally a bug fan, but here we are. this fic won me over completely. Modern Day Faerie au, jon is a moth fae and decided he likes martin after martin unknowingly saved him. martin knows the fae are not to be trifled with and is lowkey fucking terrified. its cute as shit.

7) Spider Silk: complete. not particularly plotty, just a cute series where jon and martin have been in love the whole time and played jonah from the beginning. satisfying wish-fullfillment, more good good non-evil web!martin.

8) There Are Monsters In These Woods: still updating. a full-on fairy tale au, full of princes and monsters and mages and quests and all that jazz. more fun moth!jon, and the way this fic translates the wordbuilding from tma into a fairytale setting is super interesting. a lot more body horror and on screen torture in this one than in the others im reccing here, so watch out for that.

9&10) did someone say time travel fix it but with kid!jon?? no?? well i have TWO superficially similar but ultimately very different fic recs about that. These are both about s5 jon getting thrown back to the Mr. Spider Incident, and promptly getting adopted by elias. after that tho they have almost nothing in common.

The Timeline of Theseus: still updating. follows an 8 year old fully realized Archive, with his memories of the future blocked off. Elias assumes hes some sort of gift from the eye, or a future ritual like agnes montegue, and is trying to raise him as best he can. Jon is 8 and incredibly adhd and supernaturally incapable of lying, and keeps just blurting out random ass shit that he Knows that Elias would really rather he didn’t.

Too Much Time: still updating. follows a basically adult!jon stuck in a kid’s body, who was sent back in time by and visibly branded by the web, the spiral, AND the eye. Elias basically kidnaps him and Jon is only grudgingly staying with him cause his brands make him an obvious target, and he doesn’t have any of his old powers. gerry is also there as a 12yo and their growing friendship is very sweet. bit of a warning for child abuse in this one, there’s nothing physical but elias is much more of a bastard here than in Theseus.

???) is it gauche to promo my own fics as well cause u can also check out my ao3 or my writing tumblr @bananaman-writes if u want, i have a fluffy canon-compliant asexuality one-shot and an archivist!gerry au that hasn’t gotten very far yet but i have many Plans for. (those plans are everyone lives and then they date)

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Stay Ch. 16

Master List

Pairing: Natasha X Reader (Female)

Summary: You have a gift, the ability to see other people’s innermost secrets. For years you used it to gather intel for the highest bidder when you take on The Widow. After she becomes more than a mark the two of you spend years stealing moments. Post snap you wait in your designated meeting place, look back on the sordid past you share with the woman you love and hope against everything that she’s still alive.

Warnings: Angst, and fluff, and feels oh my!

A/N:  So yeah I swear I wroth an authors note for this... but idfk what happened. 

ANYWAY! Thank you all for being so patient while I got my life together. This one is also short and sweet (guess that’s the mood I’m in). However, y’all should know me by now. This is just the calm before the storm. 

Hope you enjoy this one my pumpkins! 

Tags are open!

@mywinterwolf  @disagreetoagree  @breezy1415  @peachthatdrinkslemonade  @5aftermidnight@jeromethepsycho  @marvel-randomness  @daniellajocelyn  @katecolleen  @yanginginthere@wonderlandmind4 @piensa-bonito @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @lesbian-girls-wayhaught @siriuslycloudy2

March 2007

At some point in the last five months, you’d stopped recognizing yourself. The woman in the mirror wasn’t Y/N. Her hair was different, down to even the eyebrows. Her accent distinctly that of a life long Londoner. She worked for an independent UK couture fashion magazine, chose wine over whiskey, and was distinctly heterosexual.

When the chance to work this job requiring deep cover came up in December you jumped on it. You didn’t want to be you anymore. The you that couldn’t be with the woman you loved. The you that was heartbroken. The you who was beginning to doubt that you’d ever be happy. Fuck her.

Being Charlie Daniels was far better. She was, of course, a real person. Just one who was now living comfortably in the Bahamas courtesy of MI6. Even legit agencies had use of freelance talent every now and then.

Settling into her life had been easy. Not setting her boss on fire or blowing his brains out daily was a different task altogether. Turned out that a magazine was a great front for a crime empire. Lots of international travel, young and beautiful and desperate men and women, money exchanged in countless untraceable ways, on and on. And this fucker was happy to take advantage of every single disgusting avenue it opened up.

You almost had everything you needed to hand to MI6, get your obscenely large payout, and get on to another gig while they threw all of these bastards into cells to rot for the rest of their miserable lives. Just one more trip. After whatever horrible things they lay out in Tokyo you’ll be set.

Tokyo is one of those cities you can lose yourself in. Like New York but better for its interesting balance of vibrancy and grounded reserve. You absolutely love it.

The whole point of the trip, at least on the surface, was to focus on Fashion Week Tokyo. Honestly, there was a part of you that wished this was your world. Nothing but runway shows and after parties. Writing about the latest trends rather than delving into the inner workings of the worlds miscreants

Oh well. It was nice enough to pretend. You had to admit that you’d miss Charlie Daniels once you shed this skin in a couple of weeks.

You’re sitting two people down from your boss at an underground show. The level of security here screams that there are other things going on behind the scenes but it’s still a room filled with a who’s who of the Japanese and international fashion communities.

This was your third show of the day, and you knew there would be a party after where you’d have to schmooze all while plucking information from your unsuspecting fellow guests. You’re exhausted. So rather than pay much attention to the show you let your mind wander.

When she walks out you feel her rather than see her.  Slowly you turn your head to stare dumbstruck at the model walking onto the catwalk. Your heart begins beating against your ribs, your mouth goes dry, your hands shake.

It takes every ounce of control you have to keep your emotions in. To not scream “Natasha!” at the top of your lungs. To not grab her and run for the hills. Charlie Daniels and her easy life be damned. It’s hard but you manage.

As she turns and comes back down, passing now closer to you, her eyes don’t graze  the crowd at all. Head up, shoulders back, she walks the runway like she’d been doing it for years.

The rest of the show is maybe ten minutes but it feels like years. You know the models are all attending the party. Eye candy for the high end guests.

It’s fairly easy to ditch your coworkers in the crowd as you try to find the best vantage point in the room without being too obvious. After a solid twenty minutes, you find yourself planning an escape route. Most of the models are milling about but she’s no where to be seen. You will find her.

But you know you can’t skip out just yet. At the bar, you order a red wine and make yourself seen. Charlie would never miss the whole party after all. You spend a bit chatting with designers and a few models, feigning interest in the whole thing until you hear your boss call out to you.

“Oy, Charlie!” Carl’s voice alone makes you want to put him down. When you turn he’s waving you over to the bar. Sighing heavily you head over.

You’re about ten feet away when you see her, head back laughing at something Carl or his friend had said. Both men are far to close to her for your liking and the hungry look on Carl’s face sets your blood boiling.

He slings an arm around your shoulders and you carefully coach your face to not show disgust. “Charlie here is my best writer. Doin’ some pieces for us on this whole thing,” he waves his other hand around wildly.

“Good to meet ya, Charlie, I’m Dan,” the other man, clearly American says.

“Likewise,” Natasha doesn’t react to the accent at all.

“This here is-”

“Natalie,” Natasha cuts him off, extending a hand to you. Holding her eyes with yours you take it. It’s like touching a live wire.

“Natalie is an American model working here in Japan. May be a good topic for a piece.” He ribs you leaning closer, “And a good piece for the office eh?” Suddenly that MI6 money seems far less appealing.

“I’d love that,” Natasha beams. “Why don’t you guys go mingle and Charlie and I can chat!” The men exchange a glance, but there’s plenty of fresh meat around to sink their teeth into.

Carl flashes you a greasy smile and a wink as he walks away. Thinking clearly that you’re going to snare this woman for him. You, unfortunately, had a few others. Not something you were proud of. Demands of the job you told yourself.

“She’ll take a vodka neat,” you tell the bartender.

“Yes,” Natasha smiles at him, “Whiskey for her. Makers if you have it.” He thinks nothing of it and makes your drinks.

“So, how’s modeling in Japan?”

“Probably about as good as writing for a sleazy jackal.”

You laugh, “That bad? What’s the goal.”

“Getting a cover,” you commend the clever word play.

“That’s a good goal. Long term?”

“Something like that.” She takes a sip of her vodka, “How long are you here?”

“End of the week.” Your skin itches to touch her. The men are rounding back. You hold her gaze and shift your eyes back to them. She catches on.

“Perfect! It’s so hard to have a good interview here, don’t you think?”

“Absolutely. Why don’t you come by my hotel?” You whip out your spare key card. “I’d love to get your story for the mag, maybe do a full feature.”

“A feature would be excellent exposure!”

“Wouldn’t it?” Carl slides up next to her. “We can get you all the exposure you could want Ms. Natalie.”

“Charlie was telling me all about it.” She flashes him a coy smile. “Thank you so much Charlie! I forgot I have a late fitting tonight for another show so I’ve got to run. But we’ll chat soon yeah?”

“Absolutely! It was so good to meet you Natalie.”

“Same! Bye!” She hurries through the crowded room and disappears.

“Busy girl.” Carl quips. “Whiskey?” You look down at the glass by your hand.

“Some guy sent them over,” you gesture to Natasha’s lipstick stained glass. “Seemed rude to refuse. Can’t stand the stuff though.”

“That’s a mans drink,” Carl laughs at his own perceived joke and you force a smile.

Somehow you make it through the rest of the evening. You’d refused to allow yourself to hope that she’d be here, too obvious to come the same night, better to wait. Kicking off your shoes you head straight to the mini bar and crack open a whiskey, downing it in one gulp.

“You really need to be more careful,” Natasha’s voice comes from the bathroom. “I mean not even checking around. Sloppy.”

“Charlie Daniels doesn’t have to check for Russian assassins in her bathroom,” a smile pulls your face so tight it hurts.

“Well, Natalie Rushman isn’t a Russian spy. So…”

You let your real accent resurface as you pull her into your arms, “Natalie Rushman, I don’t know if that’s clever or lazy.” She kisses you hard, tongue sliding over your lips hands gripping your ass.

“Mmm,” she hums. “Kinda like the accent.”

“Oh?” You revert to the clipped posh Londoner sound. “Would you rather be with Charlie? I hate to break it to you, she’s strictly into dick so you may need to get a bit creative.”

Natasha’s head falls back with laughter, “I’m always into a challenge but,” she cups your face in her hands, “I’d much rather Y/N, she’s got a cute accent too.” Your kiss is soft this time, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, honey.” Gently you push a strand of hair out of her face. “Is this smart? Are you gonna get-”

“I’m good. I wouldn’t be here if I thought there was risk.” She pulls away and tugs you toward the bed. “There’s no surveillance on me here, I check in every week, that’s it. This is strictly to build a cover.”

“Cover for what?” She gives you a sideways glance. “Right. National security.”

“Do you really want to talk about work?”

Smirking at her you push her back on the bed. “Maybe later.”

You lean down to her but she stops you by planting a strappy heel in the center of your chest. Trailing your fingers down her leg you snag a knife from her thigh holster. Carefully you slide the blade under the straps, the incredibly sharp edge cuts through the thin suede like it’s nothing.

“Those were very expensive you know,” eyes sparkling with desire.

You slip the shoe off and toss it aside. “I’ll buy you a new pair.” Your lips press against her ankle.  

Everything in your life until her was so fleeting. Even your own name, the sound of your own voice, who you were… But with her, you were grounded. You weren’t anything but her’s, you were Y/N.

Suddenly you’re overwhelmed. Caressing her muscular calf you just stare at her eyes. Emerald green, dark liner, lids heavy with lust and exhaustion.

“Natasha…” Your voice cracks and you fight for composure.

“Y/N? What is it?” She shoots up, cradling your face in her hands.

You shake your head, unable to really find the words and unwilling to send this storm of emotions to her. “I just…” You cover her hands with your own. It’s not that you don’t want her, you do. But…

“Can we just… I just wanna hold you…” Her expression immediately softens, eyes sparkling a touch with tears. “Sorry… I… I just…”

“I’d love that, baby.” Tenderly her lips brush yours, then your cheeks, your forehead, your eyelids as they flutter closed.

You shed your clothes and crawl into the plush bed. Holding tight to one another you spend hours drifting in and out of sleep, covering the other with soft kisses. Before the sun rises your hands wander southward.

This time you don’t fuck one another senseless. It feels like you’re trying to memorize every curve, every sound, every subtle thing that marks being together. You both know you many not get to do this for some time. The knowledge aches but it doesn’t make having her any less sweet.

Post Snap

You lean your head back on the wall behind the booth. The crying man from last night is gone, you find yourself hoping that he’s resting peacefully somewhere… even though you know it’s pointless to hope for such things.

There are more people filling the bar than there was before. The TVs are off, radios turned up, reporters frantically trying to determine what happened. It was global, that was clear. All planes grounded, trains stopped, communications spotty due to damaged cell towers.

A man speaks frantically to someone who seems to be a friend that he was heading to Nuremberg from Budapest, how the roads are almost not navigable. He doesn’t know if his family is even still there but he has to find out.

Despite his distress, your lips curl a bit at the mention of Budapest.

[punkcryptids]

LIFE IS STRANGE 2 EPISODE 3

okay, so throughout the recent life is strange games i have made posts such as this one; I would make a bullet-point list of my ideas and thoughts of the game, certain little lines or details and shit. i did this for the farewell episode, i think before the storm (at least one of the episodes), and captain spirit. i tried to do this for life is strange 2, but Tumblr fucking killed itself when i tried, like i even restarted the fucking episode to redo it. so i don't think ive done these for life is strange 2, but honestly they're a lot of fun to rant out my opinions of the game and the little details and shit so, without further ado, here's this -spoiler full- little list.

also, little sidenote: i had no clue this was supposed to come out, i heard jack shit about it so like, the day after it was released i saw an article, googled it, and fucking died and felt so stupid. so anyways. let's begin.

*spoilers ahead, ill tag the post too but smh once got anon hate over this shit*

ok just to start this off, the little like "last time on life is strange" refresher is really nice and unique and i fucking love it still

the wolf drawings v cute

not game related but this fucking incense im burning is floating across the screen and it's so fucking ominous

ALSO NOT GAME RELATED BUT FUCKIN MY HEADPHONES GIVING OUT

why the fuck is Chris a racoon

okay now game points for the a c t u a l fucking game??

ok this fuckin music fuckin kicking

ok i like the choice to start this episode with like a flashback, i really like that choice (also three bullet points in a row i start with "ok" v original)

yo sean wanna give me that weed bag? could use some brother skksks

fuck Daniel his room nice af

honestly the instant thought when Daniel came into Sean's room was that he was stealing his weed? cause I could've sworn that's where it was in the first episode

i love his dad sksksk

i hate that fucking toy okay, it's awful

ok low-key, i hate kids and if i Sean I'd be so annoyed? because like he came into Sean's room when he's been told not to, and like snuck in there, and then lied about Sean hitting him (bc I didn't hit him) and then as soon as Sean goes to apologize he's like "get out" like u little hypocritical shit hhhh. love Daniel but it's fuckin annoying

"and don't touch my stuff" (comes into Sean's room and touches shit)

LITERALLY FUCKING TOOK HIS WATCH BUT "don't touch my stuff"

Sean is a dick to Daniel sometimes but like he still acted like a good brother in the end and i would've been pissed so like good on Sean lmao

JESUS FUCK HIS HAIR

*inhales* AAAAAAAA

love the drawing of the deer smoking

wonder why they got kicked off the ranch

bRO A WEED FARM FUCK HIT ME UP SEAN WHAT U DOIN

i want a fucking joint Jesus Christ Sean fucking share? rude ass

ok so ur shirtless

good doggie

accidentally trapped the dog whoopsies

american grafitti

"fuckin ranch of hell AVOID" what the fuck happened there?

i like penny, he seems cool af

Daniel's fucking hair yikes

also why the hell he being a dick to us for? why the fuck it so hostile?

I like Finn too

"it was my turn" you had been throwing them?? for the entire morning wHY IS HE FUCKIN MAD AT US??

YOU FUCKING USED YOUR POWERS SO I WOULD MISS WHAT THE FUCK

NO FUCK YOU, YOU LITTLE ASSHOLE YOU JUST FUCKING THREW ME

Daniel is pissing me off I s2g

why is asking about the watch a "big choice"

oh okay so finn replaced sean and now daniel is just a little fucking asshole about it

big Joe big angry

he just fuckin hit her head what the fuck hell yeah I'll intervene fuck you??

why does he want to talk to me what the fuck did i do

okay if Daniel loses us this job i will fight him

am i really trimming weed rn i dont think y'all understand how much my stoner ass is jealous

uh? random ass glitch of flying scissors

okay whatever sounds effects are in the background of talking with Finn sound like lis 1 music and im freaked

if we get caught while training I'm murdering someone

new emo daniel

that music is fucking intense

"im not a kid anymore" I'm gonna fucking hit this kid I s2g

pass me the BONG

"how come you can and i can't" YOURE NINE DANIEL GODDAMN WAIT A COUPLE YEARS

I GET TO HIT THE BONG

ok Sean, you had one like mediocre bong hit and like two hits from that joint like you should not be that high. high screen is cool tho

ALSO HE DIDNT CLEAR IT THERE WAS STILL SMOKE

someone pass me more weed

I have taken 3 drinks of this beer and Sean cannot see anyone but the guy he's focusing on

i wanna stay with these guys ffs I don't want to go to mexico

fuckin daniel, hhh i feel bad that I didn't go with him but i wanna have fun :(

edgy boi now

IM ABOUT TO GET IN SO MUCH SHIT FUCK

this song is a bop tf

i feel like they haven't had as much copyrighted music in this season

nice work montage

i wish there was an option to say I'd buy Daniel some food that he wants :/ I get we have to save but fuck :/ trying to win big brother points and game won't let me

thank u Merrill im glad ur not mad at me uwu

DANIEL I SWEAR TO GOD

ARE YOU KIDDING ME

DID HE JUST

don't punch out finn i love him

why is Daniel showing him his powers like i get he threw the thing at big Joe but why this necessary,,,

can we give Daniel a haircut now like im sorry but his fuckin hair

FINN YOU CANNOT USE DANIEL TO BREAK INTO SHIT

they like took 1 drink of that beer and it was done what

you cannot fucking use daniel if they make me i will feel like shit

gimmie tattoo

ok ik I should probably say "wolf" bc of the symbolism throughout the game but like fuckin surprise me Cassidy

what is with this episode and fuckin nudity

i can literally see her nipple under the water wtf u good

I didn't talk to anyone else, just Finn and then fucked Cassidy so ya know

fucking finn are you fucking serious

shut the fuck up stop trying to convince me shit

fuck you I didn't fucking do this

fuck you finn

and you got him fucking shot you fucking proud? hm? fucking dick.

ok so Cassidy is still here, and Finn, and Merrill, and I swear to God, if fucking Daniel left us I will fucking

THERE'S A FUCKING GLASS SHARD IN MY FUCKING EYE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

okay so uh this episode? not my favorite. at all. especially because the choices didn't fucking matter. the "big" choices are supposed to fucking matter but they didn't and that really kinda pisses me off. and idk. i didn't care for this episode but like :/ time to wait till august

[modesty-blaise]

Since I'm curious, what caused you to become very possessive of your gifs? Not out of rudeness but curious, since no matter what you do a lot of them show up in the gif function on Tumblr which automatically credits you at the bottom of the gif.

Hey. Tbh, at first I didn’t wanna bother with yet another anon but since I see no ill intent behind this, I decided to go and answer it. Unfortunately, half-way through I realised my reply is turning into incredibly long semi-bitter rant and expands well beyond calling out just one person in Psychonauts fandom (and yes, this is related to Psychonauts fandom – you do know that these anons are not really that anonymous, right?) so… buckle up! All that beneath “read more”.

I’ve been on this hellsite for like…7-8 years? Maybe more? Can’t really tell cause I moved blogs and my old blog now consists of only 4 posts I’ve made close to leaving so I honestly have no idea how much time I’ve spend here before moving. Anyway, during those few years I’ve spent on my first blog I’ve met a lot of creative gifmakers who enjoyed sharing their love for fandoms they were in. I’d like to point out that this was waaaaay before tumblr created that insert-gif option so, back in the day, the only way to add gifs to your post was to: 1. make them yourself 2. take them from someone else. And a lot of people were taking them from someone else which resulted in many gifmakers giving up on making gifs and leaving fandoms and/or even leaving tumblr – and I’ve had many of my friends give up on what they love and have their games/shows/movies/whatnot ruined for them cause people would not stop stealing from them. And many of my friends eventually left tumblr cause they couldn’t deal with it anymore.

Tumblr adding insert-gif option, in my opinion, honestly, just made it worse for gifmakers. Cause now people had the opportunity to use gifs for their posts, with or without creators’ permission/knowledge, but it was alright and it was perfectly fine cause creators were credited. There’s their name at the bottom. It’s alright. Like… it doesn’t matter if they’re actually okay with people using something they’ve put hours into making or if they’re not – tumblr gives them credit so they SHOULD be okay with it. Simple as that.

Well, we’re all different and some people are not okay with that. I’m not okay with that. It took me weeks to figure out how to use photoshop correctly. Took me countless hours of looking through different tutorials and basically trial-and-error-ing my way through the process. Whenever I make gifs, it takes me hours to record videos and then hours trying to achieve that 3mb limit on gifs (thank lord these days we’re beyond 1mb limit). After all that effort I put into creating gifs for games that I love and enjoy, someone is going to make 2 clicks and have that same gif added to their post, without even asking. So how is that okay?

Back to your question. Yes, “no matter what you do a lot of them show up in the gif function on Tumblr”, that is true and that is something I was aware of when I saw you-know-who announcing they would be starting 30 days Psychonauts challenge. So, hating to see my gifs used against my will, and not wanting to start any unnecessary drama and threaten people in advance with reporting them if they do use them, I’ve made my blog as private as I could. It was only accessible through the dashboard, it was not showing in ANY search engines inside and outside tumblr, and my gifs were impossible to find through insert-gif function – I’ve made sure. I did all that cause I just knew that during those 30 days, someone would use my gifs and I would get mad and I desperately wanted to avoid that (hence going extreme). And you know what happened? You know what creator of this challenge (who prevously already reposted my gifs) did? *drums* They used my shit anyway. :3 They just uploaded it from their computer, where they’ve saved it earlier.

And like… a lot of people see pretty pic and decide to save it - I mean, we all do that. Heck, even I have a folder full of shit I saw online and liked it – but i’m not uploading it online cause I haven’t made it. It’s not mine to share.

But some people are not like that.

Some people see fanart of something they like and they want to share their opinion on it – and instead of making their own post, maybe drawing the fanart themselves, they decide to use someone else’s art for their post. Do they know who made it? Do they have creator’s permission to share it? If the answer is NO, then they should be a decent human being and not do that to creators. Oh, they shared it anyway but now people in fandom are calling them out BUT this actually happened on accident? They know who the creator is but, somehow, they accidentally forgot to credit them? OK, well, it’s possible, shit happens, but they better make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Then sometime later these same people decide they want to make a post appreciating their fav character and they want to include pics cause duh, you can’t have character appreciation post without pics, right? Now they have several options: they can get their own screenshots, make their own gifs, maybe draw something… or they can just take someone else’s creation. Do they know who made it? Well there’s my fuckin name on it, and since they’ve stretched it from 245 to 500px, it’s really hard to miss, plus it’s not like there are that many people making Psychonauts gifs. Do they have permission to share it? Hmmm, nope, didn’t ask me. Is this also an accident? Could be. I mean, I’ve seen stranger things happen, so accidentally forgetting to credit content creators twice… kinda suspicious but still possible. Who am I to say?

Now if these people then decide to make a post appreciating their fav ship and they want to add a cute pic of the loving couple – yup, you guessed it! They can either create something or take something. Again: they know who did? They asked for permission? Got the permission? No?!?! But they posted it anyway?!?! :o Could it really be, that after being called out publicly, after being told that reposting is bad (something that’s very easy to understand), after even having tumblr staff intervene and remove stolen shit from their blog, after all that - could it really still be an accident?

Nah, man.

They just don’t give a shit.

Cause if they did, they’d stop with that crap first time they were called out.

(and if you think Psychonauts fandom is their only fandom and that they’re not doing this crap in other fandoms too - hoooo, boy, do I have some bad news for you! Do you know how many stolen and butchered HP fanart is on their blog? Hobbit stuff? They seem to be one of the most accident-prone users on tumblr. And honestly - it’s a real miracle their blog’s not been terminated.)

Back to what I was talking about - I’m not okay with people using my gifs and I’ve made it very clear. I literally do not give a shit if I’m credited or not, I’ve made it very clear that I don’t want my gifs used without my permission. If you like them and want them on your blog, there’s a fuckin reblog button. It’s sole purpose is to allow you to share other people’s creations. Or shitposts, cause lord knows we all love those.

So that’s why when someone spends hours going through my Psychonauts tag and goes as far as to send me “I love your gifs” anonymous message, but the very next day makes stim moodboard post including one of my gifs, now cut and resized to fit 3x3 format they’re going with, I get mad. And that’s why when someone uses one of my gifs to promote their RP blog, butchering it to fit their aesthetics, and later when confronted going as far as blaming their good friend on it cause god! they’ve had no idea it wasn’t theirs, I get mad. (makes you wonder though: if they friend has such skills, why not making them gifs themselves?)

Like…. I’ve had my gifs stolen plenty of times. I’ve had them stolen for roleplaying, for headers, for imagines, just for notes… I’ve had them stolen by people claiming to run official fan sites (that’s a real wild story but I won’t get into that now)… I’ve seen them on pinterest, weheartit, FB, all those random gif sites… and I’ve seen EVERY. POSSIBLE. EXCUSE. ranging from: “well i found it on google so why should i credit you” “lol dunno who made this but its pretty so im posting it” “ive had it on my computer for years so i don’t remember where i got it from” “i dont know how to make gifs so im using weheartit as a source” “credit to whoever made this” (that’s my fav) to “its just a gif so who gives a shit” (it’s not – it’s hours of creator’s time and lots of love that you’re now shitting on so thanks) and “i have an /illness/ and getting notes makes me feel better so dont u dare blame me for stealing” (I don’t remember exact excuse but it was something along those lines and like… how do you even respond to something that without looking like an asshole?).

And sometimes it really is just an accident. Sometimes people really do forget to credit you and/or ask you for permission. And I’ve had my fair share of those accidents. People in Psychonauts fandom have been using my gifs for various crap but, when approached, they’ve removed it and apologised. And it’s something I really appreciate. (if they actually bother reading this and they recognise themselves: i’m really grateful and thank you for not being an ass)

But you know what I don’t appreciate? People making a call out posts about me, asking about my gifs when they know very well they’re the main reasons why I’m not making those gifs anymore, at the same time failing to address any of the issues I have with them and instead rather explaining to others what happened BUT explaining only the parts that make me look like a villain cause how I even dare be mad about them stealing? How I even dare call them out on it? That is so ridiculous and criminal of me, and it’s so so sooooo bad that they need to call me out. I deserve to be called out by the very same person who’s been stealing my shit.

And their explanation is…well… it’s something.

They were sympathetic and polite? When did this happen? Did I completely missed that part? Please someone fuckin enlighten me with such post/message where they expressed their sympathy and politeness and I’ll apologise right this second.

I told them to “literally fuck off”? Yeah, that did happen, I admit that. Did they bother explaining why I told them to fuck off in the first place? Did they say they were caught stealing from me and had tumblr stuff remove my shit from their blog? Did they get into details of how they demanded the proof of my so very wild and obviously false claims but then when I showed it, they just deleted that “how dare u call me out cause I would never do such thing” post? No, they didn’t and geee, I really wonder why.

Instead, what did they choose to address? Out of all the things I’ve said. Hm? What did they choose? Me telling them to fuck off. Me dropping the F-bomb on them, rudely rejecting their obvious kindness and politeness. Nothing else.

Back to what I was talking about before I got derailed again: no, I’m not mad cause this person used my gifs without crediting me. I mean – I am, but that’s not my main issue with them (and they know it). My main issue is that this is someone who will continuously lie and steal and still deny any of it, even when there’s plenty of proof (and you can always count on me to show up with proof tbh), and then go as far as to publicly ask about my gifs and try to call me out. Like me getting mad that something I’ve put hours of work into, and something I’ve made cause I love the game and I want to share my love and appreciation for it, is now being shared against my will and my knowledge - like me getting mad over something like that is so unreasonable that they need to make an entire post about it while pretending they have absolutely no idea why I’m even mad and why we have issues.

And I have every fucking right to be mad. 3 times is not an accident. 2 times to the same person is not an accident. They know it. But yeah, playing stupid is their defense so it’s not like I expected them to actually address their actions this time either.

And you know what? Just because I swear a lot doesn’t mean I’m wrong. Doesn’t mean there’s no solid ground for my claims. People on tumblr have always been and always will be stealing shit. Sometimes they will credit you, often they will not, and that’s just how it is, doesn’t matter if you’re okay with it or not. But that doesn’t mean I’m just gonna sit quiet and accept someone’s shitty behaviour. Especially when it’s directed at me.

TLDR: giving credit =/= having permission

but my previous posts leading to this ask were not about that

you knew that already

[zoolingual-blog]

RULES.

DISCLAIMER  :  i am not in any way affiliated with any of the fcs i use. thank you. however, i did create danny and her world and i would appreciate it if no one stole anything

ONE      •    THIS BLOG IS A SAFE SPACE.     that means no hate, no bigotry, no jackassness allowed. if i see it on my dash, you will be blocked.  i will reblog callout posts, but only for serious stuff. if i see a callout posts for someone ’ not writing their character right ’ or ’ not being original enough ’ or something like that, it will be ignored. that’s dumb and you need to get over yourself. i myself am a white, lgbt female. i am not perfect, and if i do some shitty things, i expect people to come talk to me about it because in no way do i want to be make people uncomfortable or be ignorant. but i do prefer you come talk to me first, don’t just blast hate about me without trying to work with me first. i am not a hard ass, im actually quite the pushover. and i swear im pretty nice.

TWO     •     I DO NOT FOLLOW DUPLICATES.     this should not be an issue, as danny is an oc and there really should be no duplicates

THREE     •     WE NEED TO DISCUSS FACECALIMS.     there are a certain bunch of fcs i refuse to interact with, mostly because the actor themselves gives me a bad taste in my mouth. if you have a character with one of these fcs, i will not follow. if you wish to change the fc and don’t know who to change it to, come talk to me and i can help you out ! i will gladly point you to alternate fcs. if any of my fcs are / become problematic as well, feel free to tell me so i can change them !! the fcs i will not interact with are RDJ, MARTIAN FREEMAN, BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH, SCARJO, ELLE FANNING, EDDIE REMAYNE, HAILYEY ATWELL, & JOHNNY DEPP.

FOUR     •     I AM HIGHLY SELECTIVE & MUTUAL ONLY.     basically what this means is that i only follow some people back on my dash, and i will only interact with you if we are mutuals. if we are not mutuals, do not like or reblog anything. i just like to have a clean dash, and if we are not mutuals it makes me very anxious to have to answer questions or make you a starter. just don’t, or i will block you.  i may take a while to follow back though, so if it’s been a few days and i haven’t followed back, don’t worry ! i might be getting to it ! but also don’t ask me about following you back. i have a hard time saying no to people, and then i just feel trash about myself because i didn’t want to follow and i made myself. so please just, don’t ask. but no matter if we are mutuals or not, if you want to come to my ims to talk about something, feel free !

FIVE     •     ALL GRAPHICS ARE MINE.    i save the screencaps and i made the psd from scratch and everything edited is mine. please do not take that from me, it’s incredibly disrespectful and i will block and report you. that being said, if something i use is art and if the art is your art and you want credit / want to have it removed, let me know ! i will gladly add the credit or remove it ! most of the time i just google search shit and random stuff pops up and i don’t know where it’s from, so just let me know ! occasionally i will make gifsets / edits of my muses : please don’t reblog these unless i give permission. i’ll usually put something like that in the tags or something.

SIX     •     I HAVE MY OWN SYSTEM AND WRITING STYLE.     i do memes a certain way and i write my drafts a certain way as well. the only thing you really need to know is that once i reblog a meme, it’s open forever. you could send it to me the day i reblog it or three weeks later - i don’t really care. if i don’t want to answer a meme anymore, i’ll delete it, so anything in the meme tag is fair game. other basic rules apply : if you want to continue an ask meme to a thread, move it to a new thread because if it is on an ask i won’t reblog it. i do prefer small text and icons, but i won’t not interact if you don’t use these.

SEVEN     •     I KINDA ADORE SHIPPING.     this includes platonic, frenemies, romantic partners - if it’s a pairing of any kind im a sucker for it. as for romantic things, danny doesn’t quite know her sexual orientation yet, she kind of just dates who shes wants to date. in regards to shipping, i ship chemistry above all else. i do not write smut, as i am just entirely uncomfortable with it. i may mention some things here and there, but that is it. if you see our muses being together all romantic like, let me know ! cause i may ship it too, and we could have some fun. oh, and i am ship exclusive ( meaning i will only ship with one of a particular character )

EIGHT     •     IF YOU WANNA BE MAINS, ASK ME !     i like having mains, like really like it, so if you want to be mains just let me know ! exclusives are a bit different, as i don’t like to say im exclusive with anyone. it really has to take a strong bond of me to your character portrayal for me to be exclusives. also, if i say you are my main / exclusive, do not feel pressured to add me back ! i do it for my own comfort via the relationships ive built, and it just makes me comfortable. do not feel obligated to do the same in return, you def don’t have to.

NINE     •     I TAG TRIGGERS AS TRIGGER TW.     if you want a trigger tag, tell me so i can tag it ! i try to tag the basics, but sometimes i forget, so if i forget just remind me ! i ask that you tag any vague posts you might post. i have a habit of thinking they are about me no matter what they are about. simply tag anything about it being vague or simply put ’ not about my mutuals ’ if it’s about something else ! spoilers for tv shows / games / etc will be along the same lines tagging wise.

TEN     •     MY ACTIVITY IS SPOTTY AS HELL.     currently, i work a part time job at 30 hours a week, take 18 credit hours of class, and also try to have a social life and sleep on top of all of that. there are some nights where i do not get on tumblr at all. my activity still is all over the place. if this bothers you, please do not follow. i can’t control it, and tumblr doesn’t pay me to rp, so this isn’t my number one item of things i have to keep up with. also, my main blog is @ unastute, not this one. danny is mostly plot based if i’m being honest. drafts are rarely in queue, so if i post a draft, you know i’m on, if even for a moment. i am always on discord & you can reach me in ims at almost any time as well ! if we are mutuals, hmu for my discord !

ELEVEN     •     HI I’M SYD.     i am a white female living in the usa. i am 20. im not entirely sure wtf my sexual orientation is, but if you ask me irl my first answer is usually bi. i have high anxiety, bpd, avpd, and i fluctuate between periods of high empathy and periods of low empathy. i am a sophomore in college, studying marketing and minoring in event management. really though, i’m just a smol child tryin to make it through life in one piece. ask me about my puppo and i will show you the 60 pictures i take each day of him. i also have a youtube channel, but i rarely post videos so if i’m on there i’ll shout it into the void. thanks for reading this long thing, it means a lot. i’m sure i’ll add more as i find more things, but for now, have fun and explore ! remember i love you and you’re amazing !

[unastute]

                   RULES.

DISCLAIMER  :  i do not own new girl or jessica day. i am not in any way affiliated with any of the fcs i use. thank you.

ONE      •    THIS BLOG IS A SAFE SPACE.     that means no hate, no bigotry, no jackassness allowed. if i see it on my dash, you will be blocked.  i will reblog callout posts, but only for serious stuff. if i see a callout posts for someone ’ not writing their character right ’ or ’ not being original enough ’ or something like that, it will be ignored. that’s dumb and you need to get over yourself. i myself am a white, lgbt female. i am not perfect, and if i do some shitty things, i expect people to come talk to me about it because in no way do i want to be make people uncomfortable or be ignorant. but i do prefer you come talk to me first, don’t just blast hate about me without trying to work with me first. i am not a hard ass, im actually quite the pushover. and i swear im pretty nice.

TWO     •     I DO NOT FOLLOW DUPLICATES.     i always feel bad about this rule, but it gives me such high anxiety i don’t know what to do. i love anyone who makes a new girl blog, and we can still be friends if you rp jess too ! just shoot me a message and i’ll give you my discord. but in no way will i be following your blog, for my own mental health.

THREE     •     WE NEED TO DISCUSS FACECALIMS.     there are a certain bunch of fcs i refuse to interact with, mostly because the actor themselves gives me a bad taste in my mouth. if you have a character with one of these fcs, i will not follow. if you wish to change the fc and don’t know who to change it to, come talk to me and i can help you out ! i will gladly point you to alternate fcs. if any of my fcs are / become problematic as well, feel free to tell me so i can change them !! the fcs i will not interact with are RDJ, MARTIAN FREEMAN, BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH, SCARJO, ELLE FANNING, EDDIE REMAYNE, HAILYEY ATWELL, & JOHNNY DEPP.

FOUR     •     I AM HIGHLY SELECTIVE & MUTUAL ONLY.     basically what this means is that i only follow some people back on my dash, and i will only interact with you if we are mutuals. if we are not mutuals, do not like or reblog anything. i just like to have a clean dash, and if we are not mutuals it makes me very anxious to have to answer questions or make you a starter. just don’t, or i will block you.  i may take a while to follow back though, so if it’s been a few days and i haven’t followed back, don’t worry ! i might be getting to it ! but also don’t ask me about following you back. i have a hard time saying no to people, and then i just feel trash about myself because i didn’t want to follow and i made myself. so please just, don’t ask. but no matter if we are mutuals or not, if you want to come to my ims to talk about something, feel free !

FIVE     •     ALL GRAPHICS ARE MINE.     i save the screencaps and i made the psd from scratch and everything edited is mine. please do not take that from me, it’s incredibly disrespectful and i will block and report you. that being said, if something i use is art and if the art is your art and you want credit / want to have it removed, let me know ! i will gladly add the credit or remove it ! most of the time i just google search shit and random stuff pops up and i don’t know where it’s from, so just let me know ! occasionally i will make gifsets / edits of my muses : please don’t reblog these unless i give permission. i’ll usually put something like that in the tags or something.

SIX     •     I HAVE MY OWN SYSTEM AND WRITING STYLE.     i do memes a certain way and i write my drafts a certain way as well. the only thing you really need to know is that once i reblog a meme, it’s open forever. you could send it to me the day i reblog it or three weeks later - i don’t really care. if i don’t want to answer a meme anymore, i’ll delete it, so anything in the meme tag is fair game. other basic rules apply : if you want to continue an ask meme to a thread, move it to a new thread because if it is on an ask i won’t reblog it. i do prefer small text and icons, but i won’t not interact if you don’t use these.

SEVEN     •     I KINDA ADORE SHIPPING.     this includes platonic, frenemies, romantic partners - if it’s a pairing of any kind im a sucker for it. as for romantic things, i strongly ship nick and jess, and their relationship means a lot to me. but only in a few verses will i have them post season 7, just to keep options open. in regards to shipping, i ship chemistry above all else. i do not write smut, as i am just entirely uncomfortable with it. i may mention some things here and there, but that is it. if you see our muses being together all romantic like, let me know ! cause i may ship it too, and we could have some fun. oh, and i am ship exclusive ( meaning i will only ship with one of a particular character )

EIGHT     •     IF YOU WANNA BE MAINS, ASK ME !     i like having mains, like really like it, so if you want to be mains just let me know ! exclusives are a bit different, as i don’t like to say im exclusive with anyone. it really has to take a strong bond of me to your character portrayal for me to be exclusives. also, if i say you are my main / exclusive, do not feel pressured to add me back ! i do it for my own comfort via the relationships ive built, and it just makes me comfortable. do not feel obligated to do the same in return, you def don’t have to.

NINE     •     I TAG TRIGGERS AS TRIGGER TW.     if you want a trigger tag, tell me so i can tag it ! i try to tag the basics, but sometimes i forget, so if i forget just remind me ! i ask that you tag any vague posts you might post. i have a habit of thinking they are about me no matter what they are about. simply tag anything about it being vague or simply put ’ not about my mutuals ’ if it’s about something else ! spoilers for tv shows / games / etc will be along the same lines tagging wise.

TEN     •     MY ACTIVITY IS SPOTTY AS HELL.     currently, i work a part time job at 30 hours a week, take 18 credit hours of class, and also try to have a social life and sleep on top of all of that. there are some nights where i do not get on tumblr at all. my activity still is all over the place. if this bothers you, please do not follow. i can’t control it, and tumblr doesn’t pay me to rp, so this isn’t my number one item of things i have to keep up with. my drafts are rarely in queue, so if i post a draft, you know i’m on, if even for a moment. i am always on discord & you can reach me in ims at almost any time as well ! if we are mutuals, hmu for my discord !

ELEVEN     •     HI I’M SYD.     i am a white female living in the usa. i am 20. im not entirely sure wtf my sexual orientation is, but if you ask me irl my first answer is usually bi. i have high anxiety, bpd, avpd, and i fluctuate between periods of high empathy and periods of low empathy. i am a sophomore in college, studying marketing and minoring in event management. really though, i’m just a smol child tryin to make it through life in one piece. ask me about my puppo and i will show you the 60 pictures i take each day of him. i also have a youtube channel, but i rarely post videos so if i’m on there i’ll shout it into the void. thanks for reading this long thing, it means a lot. i’m sure i’ll add more as i find more things, but for now, have fun and explore ! remember i love you and you’re amazing !