#james and alex are so so sweet and precious

[themetaphorgirl]

the patron saint kids go to a waterpark

hello yes my writing is extremely rusty but this was very fun and cute and self indulgent and I’ve missed writing these babies.

also send me prompts!! I have a whole archive of half finished prompt fills and I’m trying to work up the courage to write things again!

also James Howard Blake is the sweetest of himbos and I love him.

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James pushed his sunglasses to the top of his head. “Okay, so somebody needs to carry the cooler-”

“I’ll get it.”

“-and there’s a box of cookies from my dad’s bakery-”

“Me!”

“Don’t touch those, Derek, you’ll eat all of them before any of us get a chance. Emily can carry them.”

“Do we trust Emily?”

“We shouldn’t trust me.”

“-and there’s a bag with all of the sunscreen and shit-”

Alex reached around him. “I’ve got it,” she said. 

“I just need everybody to stay together,” Hotch said, scanning around their group to make sure no one had gone missing yet. “The last thing we need is for everybody to go missing.”

Derek shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “But what if all the good spots are taken?” he asked. “I don’t want to sit in the sun all day.”

“We can go claim a spot with an umbrella,” JJ said.

Hotch rolled his eyes. “Okay, okay, Derek and JJ can run ahead, everybody else stay together,” he said, and Derek and JJ took off running.

Dave hefted the cooler out of his trunk. “How did I get talked into this?” he complained. 

“Because water parks are fun,” James said cheerfully as he helped Spencer clamber out of the backseat. “It’ll be a good time.”

“Water parks are not fun,” Dave said.

“You never have any fun,” Alex countered. 

“These things are cesspools,” Dave said. He looked down at Spencer. “Back me up here, kid. Don’t you have some facts about how unsanitary these places are?”

Spencer opened his mouth. James covered it with his hand. “Just relax, Dave,” he said. “Besides, we all know that you’re just going to spend the whole time sleeping on a lounger.”

“I’m not going to sleep, I’m going to catch up on my reading,” Dave said.

Emily pulled her hair back into a sloppy ponytail. “I, for one, am staying in the water as long as humanly possible,” she said as she snapped a hair tie into place. “I miss not being able to go to a beach on the weekends when I feel like it, and I guess this is closest I can get.”

Alex took Spencer’s hand as they started the walk across the parking lot. “It’ll be fun, I promise,” she said. “We used to come here all the time when we were underclassmen.”

“And then we found more exciting places to hang out,” Dave mumbled under his breath.

They made it through the turnstiles and headed towards the sea of lounge chairs and umbrellas. Hotch squinted at his phone. “JJ says they’re on the right hand side close to the wave pool,” he said. 

“Oh! There they are!” Penelope said, waving enthusiastically. “They did find a good spot.”

Derek and JJ had staked out a cluster of umbrellas and chairs in a shady spot near a few trees. “God, that took forever,” Derek said. “Are we good now?” He ripped his shirt over his head and kicked off his flipflops. “They have a bunch of body slides and Jayje and I want to go now.”

“Oh! Me too!” Emily said as she wrestled out of her coverup. “Don’t leave without me.” 

Penelope’s jaw dropped. “Is that a Gucci bikini?” she demanded.

Emily frowned and twisted around, trying to look for a tag. “I guess, I don’t know,” she said. “My mom bought it for me. Is that a big deal?”

“Yeah, just a little bit,” Penelope said. “You’re wearing a Gucci bikini to a waterpark.”

JJ snapped the strap of her teal one piece. “My mom got this for me at Target,” she said cheerfully. “Can we go now?”

“Okay, wait, hold on, everyone needs to put on sunscreen,” Alex said. She rummaged in her bag and pulled out a couple of bottles. “I’m not going to deal with the aftermath with everybody getting sunburned.”

JJ rolled her eyes. “Fine, I guess,” she said. She squished a dollop of sunscreen into her hands and slapped it on her shoulders. 

Alex wiped sunscreen over Spencer’s nose and cheeks. “Did you know the ancient Greeks used to use olive oil as sunscreen?” he said. “Although that seems more likely to cook someone than to- ow! It’s in my eye!”

“Sorry, bug,” Alex said, wiping his eye with the pad of her thumb. “Stop squirming.” He scowled and continued to try to weasel his way out of her grip. 

James pulled his shirt off and dropped it into Alex’s tote bag. “So what’s everybody doing?” he said. “You guys are going on the slides-”

Emily choked. “Jesus christ, Blake, you have a license to carry those guns?” she said. “Alex, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“That your boyfriend is hiding muscles,” Emily said. “Holy shit, where did those come from?”

James glanced self-consciously at his freckled shoulders. “I’ve always had them?” he said. “I mean, I guess I carry a lot of heavy stuff at the bakery…”

“Yeah, that checks out, it’s very Peeta Mellark of you,” Penelope added.

“If I could wolf whistle, I would wolf whistle at you right now,” Emily said. “It’s a good thing for Alex that no one at St. Thaddeus knows what you’re hiding under your sweater vest, or you would have had girls literally throwing themselves at you. You’re a lucky girl.”

Alex’s face turned bright red. “So, uh, you guys are going on the slides, right?” she said hastily. Penelope, what about you?”

“I plan on spending the whole day in the wave pool,” she said as she slid on a pair of hot pink heart shaped sunglasses that matched her hot pink high waisted bikini and the scrunchies in her hair. “I like going out as far as possible so the waves can just wreck my shit.”

“Fun,” Dave said dryly. “I will be here. Not napping. Reading.” He brandished a pulp paperback. “I am going to read this book, and I’m going to even out my tan, and I’m not going anywhere near the water.”

James raked his hair out of his eyes. “Spencer, where do you want to go, kiddo?” he asked.

Spencer shrugged. “I don’t know, I’ve never been swimming before,” he said. Alex had dressed him in a matched rash guard and shorts set, and he pulled at the neckline. “Do I have to wear this shirt? I don’t like it.”

“I don’t want you getting burned,” Alex said. “Not like last-” She stopped midsentence, cleared her throat, and smoothed his hair back from his forehead. “Maybe you can take it off later, but not right now.”

“Let’s go to the shallow part of the wave pool,” James suggested. “Until you figure out what you want to do.”

Spencer looked up at Hotch. “Will you come with us?” he asked. 

Hotch sighed. “Sure,” he said. “At least for a little while.”

“I’m going to the lazy river,” Alex said. “I also have a book, but unlike Dave I can multitask.” Dave, already lounging in a chaise under an umbrella with his sunglasses on, flipped her off lazily. “What time do we want to do lunch? Like one?”

“Yeah, that works,” James said. “We can meet back here around then. Does that work for everybody?”

“Sounds good, have fun, see you later!” Derek said as he, Emily, and JJ took off. 

Spencer grabbed Hotch’s hand. “I probably should have mentioned this earlier,” he said. “But I don’t really swim.”

Hotch looked down at him. “You know what? Somehow I’m not surprised by that,” he said. “James and I will keep an eye on you.”

“It’s also why Alex made me get this,” Spencer said glumly, pulling on the hem of his bright orange swim shirt. “I wanted the purple one.”

“Orange is more visible in water,” she reminded him.

“I know, but I look like a traffic cone.”

“A very cute traffic cone,” she said. She bent to kiss his cheek. “Oh, I forgot I just put sunscreen on you. Ugh.”

James laughed and kissed the top of her head. “You go have fun with your book,” he said. “You ready, Spence?” Spencer flashed a thumbs up. 

The waterpark was busy but not overcrowded; James made sure to keep Hotch, Spencer, and Penelope in his line of sight as they walked down to the wave pool. “Is this salt water or chlorine?” Spencer asked.

“Definitely chlorine,” Hotch said. 

“Did you know chlorine can turn blonde hair green?” Spencer said. He side-eyed Penelope. 

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take,” Penelope called over her shoulder as she forged ahead of them into the wave pool.

Hotch waded into the water, still holding Spencer’s hand. “How’re you feeling, Bug?” he asked.

“This is fine,” Spencer said, already up to his knees. He slipped his hand free of Hotch’s grip. “I think I like swimming.”

“That’s good, but don’t get ahead of yourself,” James said, his hand hovering over Spencer’s shoulder as they waded out farther. “Pace yourself.”

Spencer paddled clumsily, splashing water around them as his toes started to reach off the ground. “I think I’m okay,” he said. “It’s funny, it’s hot enough that temperature of the water could be elevated as high as-” He stopped midsentence and shrieked as a wall of water lapped high enough to knock him over. James braced himself against the wave and immediately pulled the skinny nine year old out of the water. Spencer gasped for breath, spluttering and choking. “What was that?”

“That’s the wave part of the wave pool,” James laughed. Spencer scrambled to climb him like a tree, still coughing. “What did you think would happen?”

“I thought the water would stay put!” Spencer protested, wrapping his arms around James’s neck in a death grip. “Waves only belong in an ocean!”

Hotch brushed his hair out of his eyes. He was still wearing his tee shirt, now soaked through, and it hung heavy on his lanky frame. “No, there’s definitely waves here,” he said. “Every couple of minutes.” He grinned. “I thought you were doing fine and you liked swimming.”

“I reserve the right to change my mind,” Spencer said. He relaxed his grip on James’s shoulders and James let him float a little in the water, his hands still hovering close to his sides. “This part isn’t too bad.”

“Well, we won’t go out too far if you don’t like it,” Hotch said.

“No, it’s okay,” Spencer said. “This is fine.”

James squinted out towards the far edge of the wave pool. “Wow, Penelope wasn’t kidding,” he said. He pointed to a tiny hot pink dot on the far horizon. “She really did get out there as far as she could.”

“She did say she wanted it to wreck her shit,” Hotch said. The wave machine rumbled ominously, eliciting squeals from the swimmers in the pool. “Okay, kid, there’s another one coming, are you ready?”

“Yeah,” Spencer said. His eyes widened as the wave began to form. “No, no, I don’t think I’m ready. I don’t think I like this.”

“Do you want to get out of the pool and do something else?” James asked.

“No, we can stay,” Spencer said. “We can- I would like to leave now, please!”

Hotch laughed as he picked Spencer up and started wading back towards the edge of the pool. “You know, it might be a good idea to start with something a little less intimidating before you learn how to swim,” he said. 

The wave crashed over them, high enough to smack Spencer in the face and make him yelp but not enough to pull them down. Hotch set him down on the shore. “Do you want to go do something else?” he said. “There’s a section for smaller kids, we could go do that.”

“No, I don’t want to do that!” Spencer protested. “I’m not a baby!” He looked desperately back over his shoulder at the wave pool. “We can go back. It’s fine. I’ll be okay.”

Hotch gently untangled a wet matted curl in Spencer’s hair. “No, you hated that,” he said. “Do you want to go do slides or something?” Spencer shook his head stubbornly and started to walk away, then stopped. “What’s wrong? Where are you going?”

“The sand is too hot,” Spencer said plaintively, curling his ankles to stand on the outsides of his feet. “And it feels horrible.”

James could sense the impending sensory overload hovering over Spencer like a dark cloud. “How about we go hang out with Alex in the lazy river?” he said. “I can carry you if you want.”

Spencer nodded and James picked him up carefully. He was right, the sand was too hot and felt horrible. “We can go back later, I’ll be fine,” Spencer said.

“Yeah, we know,” Hotch said. “We’ll see how we feel later. It’ll be there all day.”

They walked to the nearest jumping-off point for the river; James set Spencer down at the edge with Hotch until he could fish out enough inner tubes for all three of them. Hotch hoisted Spencer into the kid-size floaty. “I think I like this better,” Spencer said. 

“Yeah?” Hotch said. “Me too.”

James caught sight of a familiar light blue floral bikini and a red ponytail. “Alex!” he called. “Alexandra!” She was intent on her book and didn’t notice him until he caught her innertube and spun her around gently. “Hi!”

“Oh, shit!” she said, nearly dropping her book. James caught it before it hit the water. “Hi! How long were you at the wave pool? How long have I been reading?”

“Not that long,” James said. He held onto her innertube so he could lean in to kiss her. “The wave pool wasn’t exactly a big hit.”

Spencer floated closer to them. “I didn’t like it very much,” he informed her. He pulled on the hem of his rash guard. “I don’t like this very much either. Can I take it off please? The water isn’t very deep and my shorts are still bright orange, I’m still visible.” 

Alex laughed. “Go ahead,” she said, and Spencer kicked around in the water as he wriggled out of the shirt and draped it over the side of his innertube. “We’ll just need to put more sunscreen on you.”

“Hotch, are you going to keep your shirt on the whole time?” James asked. “It’s getting pretty hot out.”

Hotch looked over at Alex. “If it’s not bothering him it’s fine,” she said. She set her book down on her thighs and signed something to Hotch; he signed back.

James spun Spencer around gently. “What are they saying?” he whispered.

“I didn’t hear anything.” 

“No, they were signing.”

“Oh, I missed it, I was turned around,” Spencer said. James sighed. Alex had taught both Spencer and Hotch what she had been learning in her ASL class, and he had tried his best to learn but he couldn’t keep up. He was best at math and science and he was hopelessly bad at languages.

The lazy river was definitely a better choice; the four of them floated around while Spencer talked happily and the rest of them listened in and added to the conversation when they could. James kept a hand on Alex’s innertube, keeping her from floating away from him while she read her book.

They were on their third or fourth loop when someone swam up behind Hotch and jumped onto the back of his innertube, making him yelp. “Jesus!” he spluttered.

Emily laughed as she hauled him upright again. “Sorry,” she said. “That was just too easy. Couldn’t resist.”

Hotch shot her a dirty look. “How were the slides?” James asked.

“Amazing,” JJ said, treading water behind Emily. “Even better once Derek started flirting with all the slide operators and they let us keep reriding.”

Derek grinned, kneeling on the edge of an innertube. “What can I say, the ladies love me,” he said. Emily gave him a light push and he flopped over into the water with an overdramatic splash. 

“Is it time for lunch?” JJ asked. “I’m starving.”

“Yeah, it’s probably close enough,” James said. “Somebody better go get Penelope.”

“I’ll go find her,” Derek said. “Are we meeting up with Dave?”

“Well, if we don’t wake him up for lunch, he’ll be pissed,” Alex said. “I know he swore he wasn’t going to take a nap, but trust me. He’ll be asleep, and he’ll be in a bad mood because he’s hungry and sunburned.”

Alex was right. When they made it back to their spot, Dave was fast asleep in his lounger with his true crime paperback dangling from his fingers. “Hey, Rossi, wake up, it’s lunchtime,” Emily said.

Dave bolted upright, tossing his book in the sand. “What the fuck are you doing, Prentiss?” he mumbled.

“I should ask you that, what the fuck are you wearing?” Emily said.

He ran his hand over his face. “Swimsuit?”

“That’s a fucking Speedo, Rossi,” Hotch said.

Dave squinted sleepily into the sand. “I got it in Italy, everybody in Italy wears them,” he said. “Where’s my book?”

“He always insists on that,” Alex said.

Emily picked up the book and tossed it at him. “What part of Italy do you visit, Rossi, nobody wears those,” she said. “Also you are red. Like fire engine red.”

“So’s your face,” Dave retorted. 

“I don’t care, it’ll just turn into a tan.”

Alex sat down on a lounger and pulled Spencer onto her lap. “You’re not burned, but you’re very pink, Bug,” she said. “And your hair is going to be a nightmare to untangle.” She sighed. “We’ll worry about that later.”

Hotch opened up the cooler. “Okay, who wants what?” he said. “There’s three kinds of sandwiches and there’s celery sticks and carrot sticks and-”

“Where’s the cookies from the Blakery?” Emily asked. “I could shotgun like twelve of those right now.”

“There’s not enough for that,” James said hastily. “But I bet if we stop by the bakery on the way home my dad will give us a bunch of leftovers.”

Spencer brightened. “Do you think I could get a cupcake?” he asked. “Also, I saw there’s an ice cream stand. Could I get ice cream, please?”

“You need real food or you’ll bounce off the walls,” Hotch said. “Or throw up. Or both.”

“C’mon, we’re at a waterpark, everyone eats junk when they’re at a waterpark,” Emily said. “What do you want, nugget? You can have whatever you like.”

Spencer’s eyes lit up and James laughed. “I guess we’ll just have to deal with the repercussions later,” he said.

[bwoahtastic]

Mousy making friends with Logan! Maybe Logan is new to the area? The pup is very shy and has a hard time letting go of his papa when he has to go to school. But Nicky is so sweet and offers to let Logan hold his hand instead! Logan clings to him and only really talks to him. The other classmates are still a bit scary to him. Maxy is also very happy when Mousy introduces him to Logan. The kitten purrs up a storm at the idea of a new friend (Max struggles making friends? He’s still very scared of people)

Mousy begging Toto to let his new friend come over and he naturally agrees. Logan’s papa is James? And Toto can see James is too nervous to leave Logan on his own so Toto offers him something to drink? Now Toto has a friend too! And secretly he’s very happy that Nicky met Logan. He’s needed a friend🥺

Maybe Logan is sick? Or he is diabetic and that’s why James is so overprotective? He loves his pup so much and he’s so worried something will go wrong. Nico would be so careful to make sure Logan can eat the food at their house. They adore the blonde pup. Maxy, Nicky and Logie would be so so so cute. All a bit shy and careful. They play so quietly but the giggles are so precious

Oh pls!Little Logie joining Nicky's class and he is shy and cries when papa James goes to leave! Tonio tries to soothe him and Nicky goes over and holds out his hand for Logie saying his momma is a birdie too! Logan holding òn tight to Nicky's hand while Tonio gets a little table so Logan can sit with Nicky, Alex and Maxy! Alex just vibing cos he likes everyone nd Maxy purring cos he isn't very good at making friends, is so happy he has mousy and Alex but now he might have a new friend!! Logan is shy but plays with the cars with them and makes drawings for papa and he is judt so happy he doesn't have to play by himself@.

Mousy asking if Logie can come over to play and ofc Toto says yes (maybe Nico is taking Seb to one ofnhis many activities to try and get rid of excess zoomy energy sksk).

James coming to drop of Logan and explaining Logie is diabetic and he is a little nervous about leaving Logan with strangers so Toto offers him a drink so he can stay, just in case something happens with Logie too!

Toto is so happy to have a friend now too and Nico adores the little birdie and always makes sure to be cautious of the food when Logie is there! And pls Logie being such good friends with Nicky, Maxy and Alex! It's so cute when rhey are all there and just playing quietly and giggling, and also ofc takes naps together!

[ssolessurvivor]

kissing the tears that roll down your lover's cheeks.

memes - always accepting! - @goldenboybarracuda (in which I cry SO YOU HAVE TO ALSO)

Logan had shared significantly the lives he had his precious time with up on Mimas, those who became like family those five years. So it only seemed natural that on this day, restlessness and all, Logan invited Alex out to a little excursion.

He didn't exactly reveal where until he pulled into the parking lot of the cemetery. He'd gotten some little bouquets his sister put together earlier, so he walked alongside Alex in the wet grass, taking care to not trod on any of those names engraved there. He wouldn't disrespect anybody in that way, not even his worst enemy. Besides, his heart was too heavy today for any maliciousness.

He didn't have a bone of it left in his body.

Walking up to the group of freshly cleaned stones was tough enough, but Logan felt his eyes burning as he took a look at Alex and began placing the tiny bouquets one at a time. Boris. James. Hans. Robyn. Travis. Feng. Straightening his spine which feels as if it weighs a ton, hands try to settle in the pockets of his leather jacket before he feels the tears spilling. That arm over his shoulders did it, really, not that it's bad.

It was almost an invitation. An acceptance.

"I thought two years would be enough." Logan's voice trembles with the sadness carried into the chilled air, hands coming up to wipe at his eyes. "But it still hurts." Suddenly he's pulled into his lover's arms, and he feels his tears give way. How long had he been truly holding them in? Arms wrap around to hold Alex just as tightly, clinging, trembling. He knows this sadness will pass, but it overwhelms him even now, knowing they will all burn with starlight once the moon rises.

Alex shifts in his quiet way, taking hold of Logan's face in those warm hands and gazes at his mess of a boyfriend. Those lips come in close and land on the trails his tears have left behind, and Logan feels his heart warm. Moving to the other side, the veteran feels himself somewhat retaining his composure as he meets those eyes and offers a sheepish smile. Leaning in, he places a few short, clipped kisses to Alex's lips, those kind, gentle, sweet lips that have shown such grace when it comes to Logan's issues.

Logan knows now he would never trade that for anything in the universe.

[danviers]

a  study  in  alex  danvers.

—    basics.

▸     is your muse tall / short / average?   average;  5′ 7 ″ 

▸     are they okay with their height?     yes.  her height gives her the advantage of agility while still being able to intimidate, and she can still take down humans and aliens much bigger than her.  still, it smarts a little that kara is taller than her now.

▸     what’s their hair like?  auburn / dyed red,  just below jaw length, and then shaved into an undercut.  

▸     do they spend a lot of time on their hair / grooming?   generally no, unless a special occasion warrants a bit of extra effort.  alex doesn’t like to waste time, but she’s always sure to look presentable.

▸     does your muse care about their appearance / what others think?  she’d like to think she doesn’t care what others think, but that’s not always the case.  she might not take an excessive amount of time to get ready in the mornings, but alex still cares about making a good impression.

—    preferences.

▸    indoors or outdoors?     outdoors ▸    rain or sunshine?     sunshine ▸    forest or beach?     beach ▸    precious metals or gems?  precious metals ▸    flowers or perfumes?     flowers ▸    personality or appearance?     personality ▸    being alone or being in a crowd?     a crowd ▸    order or anarchy?     order ▸    painful truths or white lies?     painful truths ▸    science or magic?     science  ▸    peace or conflict?     peace ▸    night or day?     day  ▸    dusk or dawn?     dusk ▸    warmth or cold?     warmth ▸    many acquaintances or a few close friends?     a few close friends ▸    reading or playing a game?    playing a game

—    questionnaire.

▸     what are some of your muse’s bad habits?   stubbornness,  recklessness,  the tendency to sit with her guilt and self - blame and not let anyone else help carry her responsibilities,  a slightly unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

▸     has your muse lost anyone close to them?  how has it affected them? yes, alex lost her dad aged fifteen.  though only presumed dead, until he resurfaced years later, losing him has always had a huge impact on alex.  it compounded her withering sense of self worth and struggle to be perfect.  it’s what bonded her to j’onn.  it’s why she became her family’s protector.  it’s why she puts everyone before herself, and why she joined the deo.  kara’s safety had always mattered to jeremiah, more than almost anything;  so over time, that became alex’s greatest priority.

▸     what are some fond memories your muse has?   game nights with kara and the superfriends.  meeting maggie, and then kelly.  shooting an alien gun for the first time.  the first time she and kara ever bonded.  the moment she took up the mantle of sentinel.  adopting esme.  marrying the love of her life.

▸     is it easy for your muse to kill?  no, but she has, more than once.  alex has always had to make sacrifices, and that’s what a soldier does.  it doesn’t make it any easier.  she’ll never forget astra’s last moments.

▸     is your muse capable of trusting someone with their life?  yes, but her trust doesn’t come easy.  she trusts kara more than anyone.  then there’s winn, j’onn, sam, maggie, kelly, james, lena, brainy, nia.  there’s her mom.  anyone kara would trust with her life or her secret, alex knows she can try to put her faith in too.

▸     what’s your muse like when they’re in love?   goofy, sweet, and a hopeless romantic.  alex can sometimes get too in her head about the things she could do differently / do better, but it’s no exaggeration to say that she will do anything for those she loves.

tagged by:   @oftomorrow tagging:   @glaemour​,  @heroheart​ / @lgbtcorp​,  @forthewinn​,  @cindburman,  @icicle2​  & whoever else wants to do this

[chrancecriber]

1.FM - Chillout Lounge Radio (February 25, 2023)

23:53 Art Of Lounge - Moments In Love (Buddha Bar Mix) 23:50 K Vassiliadis Ft. Marien - Den Efiges Lepto (Dub Mix) 23:45 Cafe Easy - Summerbreeze 23:39 Silent Poets - Moment Scale 23:33 Rollercone - Daydreaming 23:27 Sweet Velvet - Recalling The Rising Sun 23:22 Saigenji - No Meio Da Chuva 23:17 Gxr And Kathie Talbot - 5 A.m. 23:11 Orange Music - Islandlover (Monotonic Trip Mix) 23:07 Alex Cortiz - Phusion 23:02 The Essence - Serpentine 22:55 Tommy Awards - Hotel Odemark 22:48 Nautic - Freedom Of The Floor (Open Space Remix) 22:43 Freemasons Feat. Amanda Wilson - Love On My Mind 22:36 Chillsurfer Armada - Relax Your Mind (Cafe Buddha Del Mar Luxury Lounge) 22:31 Solid Gold - Save A Prayer (Nick Tatler & Phil Blohm Instrumental) 22:26 Vanegas - Te Voy A Querer 22:20 Thievery Corporation - Incident At Gate 7 22:13 Alpha X - Nocturnal Trip 22:09 The Weeknd - Earned It 22:04 Sunset People - Summer Madness (White Sand Cut) 21:59 Mamani - Glowing Desert (Aloe Trumpet Mix) 21:53 Lemonjazz - Gypsy Woman (Erotic Bedroom Affairs Lounge Chill Mix) 21:46 Bent - Swollen (Napoleon Remix) 21:40 Coastline - Adriatic Sea - Lounge Cafe Chillout Del Mar Mix 21:34 Sven Andersson Iii - Journey To Your Soul (Cosmic Cycle Buddha Lounge Bar Mix) 21:29 Gelka Feat. Phoenix Pearle - Being You 21:24 Melibea - Fusion 21:20 Jjos - Breathe 21:16 The Fray - How To Save A Life 21:12 Sued - Feel Me 21:06 Alex Cortiz - Ibiza Trumpet Thing 21:02 Washed Out - Face Up 20:56 Soft Wave - Plenitude Part 2 20:49 Noel - Hold Me (Relax Lounge Cafe Chillout Mix) 20:43 Schwarz & Funk - Night Over Bangkok 20:37 Coronado (Pianofly Mix) - Bay Area 20:31 Pep Llado Feat. Antonio Martin - Vai Vedere 20:28 Dragon Lounge - Saigon Sundown (Asia Cut) 20:22 Lenny Mac Dowell - Zanzibar Feeling 20:17 Jjos - Body & Soul 20:16 Costes - Stéphane Pompougnac - Green Tree 20:12 James Bright - Little Things 20:06 Mobymusic - Whispering Wind 20:02 Urban Phunk Society - Spring 2 Summer 19:58 Sofa Sweeper - The Sad Side Of The Street (Mellow Guitar Mix) 19:50 Deep-dive-corp. - Relaxer 19:46 Synthetic Substance - Eternity 19:41 The Sura Quintet - Lampedusa (Sunset Session) 19:35 Shivana Faction - Talking In Whispers 19:28 Bong & Eddie M - Rain From The Suite 902 (Original) 19:24 Thievery Corporation - Transcendence 19:17 Verda - Es Vedra 19:13 Afterlife - Espalmador 19:07 Manoa - Repeat It In Slow Motion (Trippin Clouds Mix) 19:00 Phil Mison - Lula 18:54 Chilloutlounge - Breather 2000 (Arithunda Mix) 18:49 Mark Gorbulew's Manhattan Groove - Dreamsville 18:44 Sinan - 99 Reasonsfeat. Omenzeter 18:38 Gary B - Love Rain Down 18:34 Airstream - Electra 18:29 Andras & Oscar - (I Know) What You Want 18:22 Lux - So La Ra Dsa 18:17 Martin Bro - To Lose Part 18:14 Chris Malinchak - So Good To Me 18:08 Joey Fehrenbach - Untouchable (Feat. Vi Flaten) 18:02 Vargo - Get Back To Serenity 17:56 Steven Solveig - Boa Noite 17:53 Tall Paul Vs Inxs - Precious Heart 17:47 Klangstein - Deep Dive (Original Mix) 17:42 Night Loungers - A Little Lazy Morning In Paris - French Kiss Del Mar Instrumental 17:36 Jjos - Falling 17:31 Smooth Deluxe - Ibiza Sundown (Cafe Buddah Mix) 17:25 Chilloutlounge - Track 8 17:22 Vibrasphere - Tierra Azul (Omnimotion Feat. Krister Linder Remix) 17:17 L'art Mystique - Le Jardin Secret 17:13 Melibea - Lamento (Al Ponerse El Sol) 17:06 Jjos & Fede Garcia - Foolish Game (Feat Deary's) 17:00 Freemasons - Love On My Mind 16:53 Phil Mison - Lula 16:48 Sine - Morning 16:36 De Clive-lowe, Mark - Day By Day 16:31 Alessandro Boschi - Sentosa 16:28 Energy 52 - Cafe Del Mar 16:23 Atb - Remember That Day 16:18 Beach Armada - Ocean Eyes (Oriental Chill Groove Cafe Mix) 16:11 Moon De Lounge - Melodia Amore - Buddha Lounge Bar Chillout Mix 16:06 Dab - Pure Joy 16:00 Jjos - Heartbeat (Balearic Club Mix) 15:54 Leaking Shell - After Hour 15:49 Limelight - Oxygene 4 15:44 Sam Swift - Wonderful World 15:38 4tunes - In The Middle 15:32 Arrojas - Didascalias 15:28 Vio Beach - Piano Chillout (Ambient Dream Mix) 15:22 Citrus Jam - Nice Holiday 15:16 Bay Area - Santa Monica Blvd (No 17 Mix) 15:10 Blank & Jones With Jason Caesar - Hideaway 15:05 Miraflores - Waves Of Love 15:01 Gelka Feat. Phoenix Pearle - Flying On Clouds 14:57 P.m F.m - Chinchilla 14:53 Karminsky Experience Inc - Departures 14:47 Green Lemon Feat Magica Fe - 11 O Clock (Pure Beach Cut) 14:43 The Avener & Mazzy Star - Fade Into You (The Avener Rework) 14:37 Ra-qi Gong - Rainy Days In Shanghai (Buddha Cafe Del Mar Bar Mix) 14:33 Jeff Woodal - Silver Birch 14:29 Adrien Aubrun - My Last Poem 14:24 Omnimotion - Cozy Life 14:20 Mirrored - Stand Still 14:15 Moorcheeba - Moog Island 14:08 Puff Dragon - Lava 14:02 Massive Gold - Follow Me (Feat Jaywee) (Chillout Del Mar Cafe Instrumental) 14:01 Moby - Everything Is Wrong 13:56 Sunsea - Light The Fire (Chillout Mix) 13:50 Kiss Audio - The Voice Of Freedom (Spiritual Version) 13:44 Fenomenon - Pacific Memories 13:38 Jjos - Foolish Game (Feat. Deary's) (Evolution Vocal Mix) 13:35 Oh Wonder - Technicolour Beat 13:29 Pilgrims Of The Wind - Nothing Can Pull Us Apart 13:25 Triangle Sun - Beautiful 13:18 Milews - Miami Beach View - Sunset Del Mar Cafe Lounge Mix 13:09 Saint Etienne - Only Love Can Break Your Heart- Andrew Weatherall Mix 13:03 Aurosonic, Denis Karpinskiy & Kate Louise Smith - They Wait For Us (Chill Out Mix) 12:57 Green Lemon Feat. Bernd Langer - Rauchy Stranger 12:52 Skysurfer Feat Lovay - Circling Elements (Down By The 12:46 Blue Metheny - I'm Calling Out 12:42 Lemon Sol - Beautiful Morning (Piano Cafe Chillout To Ibiza Del Mar) 12:36 Madonna - Frozen 12:29 Royspop - Mid Summer Nights (Luxury Deluxe Del Mar Mix) 12:23 Nujazzy - On A Sunday Morning (Facebook Affair Mix) 12:17 Lullaby Lounge - Chill Del La Mer (Blank Cafe Relax Mix) 12:14 Ben Leela - Dreaming A Dream 12:08 Gold Lounge - Only A Dream 12:04 Noise Boyz - With My Own Eyes (Keys Of Da Sea Mix) 11:55 Aural Float - Dreamer's Dream 11:50 Rhodescreen - Peace System (Original Mix) 11:43 Laid Back - Sunshine Reggae (Peter Visti's & Stella Polaris Remix) 11:38 Zero 7 - In The Waiting Line 11:31 Balearic Lounge Boyz - Leaving Home (Feat. Guitaragi) 11:25 Digby Jones - Pina Colada 11:20 Manoa - Walk This Way 11:16 Amethystium - Calantha 11:10 Kaxamalka - True Vibe 11:05 Peter Linski Experience - Everything Flows 11:00 Lange - Frozen Beach 10:54 Peter Pearson - Bossalove 10:50 Ac - Meditarrean Sundance 10:46 Alex Baratini - My Play (Chill Out Mix) 10:40 Chilloutlounge - Letting The Cables Sleep 10:35 Coastline - Adriatic Sea (Dj Lounge Del Mar Vs. Milews Ambience Mix) 10:32 Dr. Meaker - Need Love 10:27 Juan Belda & Carlo Galimberti - Wine Sessions 10:23 For - For Want Of Her 10:17 Koolsax - Evasion 10:12 Avalona - Empty Streets 10:07 E-love - Cause I Love You No More (Alster Lounge Chill Out Vocal Mix) 10:02 Va - Red Muladhara 09:56 Jazz L'amour - Summer Dreams - See The Light Mix 09:49 Kosta Rodriguez - Purple Sky 09:44 Melibea - Jam In Dawn 09:38 Nimino - The Back Of Your Hands (Ft. Ashe) 09:34 Moroccan Blonde - Mirage 09:30 Sunlounger - Balearic Breakfast(Chill) 09:26 Dj Pippi - A Touch 09:19 Esteban Garcia Vs. Subworks - Runnin (Jazzy Dub Mix) 09:14 Gary B - Set Me Free 09:09 Exit Mars - Gliding (Comfort Version) 09:01 Detson Engeneering - Wonderland 08:55 Maricopa - Sun Scope 08:46 Deep-dive-corp. - Bassic (Flow Mix) 08:40 The Man Behind C. Feat.debora Vilchez - Fluye 08:34 Michael E - Sark Of Searenity 08:27 Rue Du Soleil - Troya 08:21 Cdm - Many Rivers To Cross 08:17 3 Liquid Hz - Metropolitan 08:12 Jupiter Jack - Blank Space 08:07 Roberto Sol - Miles Beyond 08:04 Mystique - Essences (Rico Van Basten Chill Mix) 07:59 Sofa Surfers - Sofa Rockers (Richard Dorfmeis 07:54 Noel - Chalito (Ibiza Chillhouse Lounge Mix) 07:49 Fragile State - Every Day A Story 07:44 T Mo - La Ritournelle 07:40 The River Gods - Acadia House 07:36 Plasma - Spring 07:30 San Martino - Es Cavalett (Piano Dream Mix) 07:25 Un Homme Et Une Femme - Une Rose Pour Emily (Cafe Hotel French Del Mar Mix) 07:20 Blank & Jones - Desire 07:15 Ziller - Pearl & Dean 07:12 William Orbit - Love My Way 07:06 Caya Levantado - Caribbean Daydreaming ( Jazzy Del Mar Cafe Lounge Mix0 07:00 Peter Pearson - Smooth Talking (Moonrise) 06:56 Strange Voices - All Right For Now (3 Times Infinity Mix) 06:48 Dr Drummer - Galactica Soul 06:43 Cafe Americaine - Kashmir Wanderer (Nylons Cut) 06:37 Jo Manji - Lazy Loungin 06:32 Floatation Feat. Pierre - Beautiful (Dub) 06:27 Coastline - Adriatic Sea - Dj Lounge Del Mar Vs. Milews Ambience Mix 06:22 Polished Chrome - Beautiful 06:17 Alex Cortiz - Fingerprints 06:11 Chicane - Saltwater 06:05 Sine - Flying (Original Mix) 05:59 Man In The Moon Feat.debora Vilchez - Fragil 05:53 Fluff - Silent Life 05:49 Liedschatten - Seaside (Original Mix 2006) 05:45 Vanilla - Dreamcatcher 05:39 New Beginning - Another Day 05:30 Joey Fehrenbach - Grandfather 05:22 Salt Tank - Sargasso Sea 05:17 The Sura Quintet - Relax In Sura 05:11 Citrus Jam - Pacific Snow 05:07 Morcheeba - Under The Ice 05:02 Listening Deluxe - Guitar Dreams (Short Aqua) 04:58 Jjos - Know Me 04:51 Oxen Butcher Feat. Lisa Eaton - Love & Happiness (Original Mix) 04:43 More Than Ever People - Levita 04:34 Chilloutlounge - Track 2 04:29 Merge Of Equals - Clear Blue Sky (Original Mix) 04:24 York - Bye Bye Baby (Chill Out Mix) 04:20 No Logo - Matter Of Time 04:13 Jean Martin - In My Dreams (Extended Remix) 04:09 Flume Feat. Andrew Wyatt - Some Minds 04:04 Chris Coco Mts Afterlief - Home 03:59 Rae & Christian - Still Here 03:54 Aaron Bass - On The Beach 03:47 Madonna - Secret (Difrankz' 2003 Confidential Chill Out Mix) 03:42 Phillip Ashmore - Luxury Living 03:34 Tactful - No Fear 03:28 Réve De Cabaret - Trust Me 03:23 Peter Pearson - It's In The Stars (Original Mix) 03:18 Sleepingroom Armada - Hope - Easy Erotic Groove Lounge Mix 03:14 Mandrave & Miyagi - Asian Lights 03:07 James Bright - Set Me Free 03:04 Moon Tribe - Moon Tribe 02:59 Chillwave - Massage Del Mar (Beach Cafe Mix) 02:54 Lounge Worship - Above All (Instrumental) 02:49 Ibizarre - Smooth Temptation 02:44 4tunes - Where Are You Now (Feat. Hed) 02:38 Schwarz & Funk - The Dawn 02:33 Omega3 & Guitarigi - Food (Original) 02:28 Ringo Orenji - Mikan 02:23 Noel - Chalito - Ibiza Chillhouse Lounge Mix 02:17 Machomovers - Smooth Operator 02:12 Conjure One - Make A Wish 02:06 Coastline - Adriatic Sea (Lounge Cafe Chillout Del Mar Mix) 02:01 Scott Simmons - Children (Mediterr-asian Chill Mix) 01:55 Sangar - My Breeze 01:48 Alex Paterson - Flex-e-fun 01:42 Boozoo Bajou Feat. Wayne Martin - Every Hour 01:37 Jjos - Lonely (Feat. María La Caria) Manu López-saxo (Lounge Mix) 01:32 Lux - Head Centre 01:25 Banderas - This Is Your Life (Easy Life Mix) 01:22 Faith Hill - Love Ain't Like That 01:16 Timewarp Inc - Epic Tones Feat. Rxn (Sundayman Remix) 01:07 Universe Music - Guitar Beach Lounge 00:59 Toka Kakabadze - Urban 00:54 Pathetique - Dis Moi - Instrumental Cafe Costes Del Mar Sunset Hotel Chillout Mix 00:51 Erotic Lounge Deluxe - Gimme The Night 00:46 Farbor Resande Mac - Stockholmsnatt 00:39 Yagya - The Phantom Of Us 00:33 Miro - The Cure 00:29 Shakes Seven - Best Friends 00:23 Night Traffic - Rain 00:16 Chicane - Low Sun 00:12 Chilling Crew - Frozen Time 00:08 Jose Ramos - Alone Again 00:02 Jazzy Pecada - Slow Down

[velvetluster]

Watching The Sixth Sense tonight was an eye opener. Being able to take and reprocess media that you've seen so often (it's in my top 25 movies) with someone new, experiencing it through the lens of their experience and interpretation, is a gift. And a precious one at that. I always cry at one part in particular (when Cole tells his mama about her ghostly mom's pride in her), but she started to cry at the scene before it. "Can we pretend we'll see each other tomorrow?" It'd never had much of an impact on me. A sort of 'aww' bittersweet moment, but that was it. But experiencing it here made a whole different sensation. And it brought so much of the fragility of love and connection to light. This is the first time that losing someone would really, truly make an impact on me. I played far too fast and loose with too many women in my past, broke too many hearts, had mine caved in a few times... but not being able to wake up to her in my life would incapacitate me. Tomorrow never comes, the world ends tomorrow, etc etc James Bond, but may that day of separation truly never come. I won't be ready. Alfred paddling at air.

And on that note, I'd also never shed tears at the scene after: The doctor finally being revealed as one of the dead people. Even though she knew the twist, the tears still came. And her continued crying made me do so as well. I'd never realized the emotional gut punch triple shot Shyamalan pulled off there. Bravo. It always seemed like such a good ending, but a strangely absent one. Death and the realization of it usually have a greater impact on me. And tonight, finally, the end of the Sixth Sense had that impact on me.

It's been a hard and difficult week. So many tears wrought by me to her; several were unexpected, some were brief, but all had an impact. And I'm sorry, honey. For my lack of consideration, care, and love. For my failings. And yes there were failings. I was loutish in so many ways. Confusing. Obfuscating. Withdrawn. So many of my worst qualities were on display, it felt like so often this past week.

But. You have forgiven me. And we go moving forward, not in reverse. I want to focus on that, wholly and calmly. I find myself too fixated on the past. Punks from your past, sweetie, who were good for a few smiles, laughs, orgasms, and also anger and anguish and ruined hopes and dreams. Remembering written memories of them, and sweet turns to ash in my mouth. But. This is it. That was then. You enjoyed aspects of what you had, but it wasn't enough. It wasn't what you sought. There were glimpses of you in my exes, too. Bits and pieces of what I was on the lookout for. From Cierra to Alex to Rachel, whoever, whenever, pieces were being formed. But the circle was not complete until we met. And it has formed now, a tight bond, and tighter, stronger, healthier day by day.

I love you. Thank you for everything.

[emeraldbabygirl]

The member intros that pops in Seoul does I watched MVP’s and it’s so funny it’s too bad they aren’t active and lost members. Their debut was solid even if it did sound similar to mama beat. But I find it funny how there was a lot of comments that said that and I didn’t think a lot of people knew about lc9. Anyway they’re all so funny and I feel bad for giteuk cause that’s his second group he’s been in that didn’t work out same for jaeun and hyeongsu (in a way)

A group of comedians, a group of raptors actually that bit was so funny. Rayoon is just so precious in that video he reminds me of hyesung and that blonde member in spectrum that I can’t remember his name. And the twins, I didn’t know they were twins when I first saw the mv I found out years later looking at the profiles but they were so funny talking about their different moles and eyelids and my god giteuk is so sweet and really knows how to lift the member’s spirits, (maybe because of what he went through in his previous group), but Jin said that he didn’t find his eyes attractive cause they were asymmetrical and giteuk immediately shuts him down by saying ‘actually you are more attractive because of your asymmetric eyes you look more beautiful like that’ and jin got all shy and giteuk follows up with ‘I love you’ and ugh such a sweet guy and i hope he’s actually able to be in a nice relationship now and not get shit like last time he didn’t deserve it.

But the twins are so funny, Jin has a mole on his nose and Been above his lip and so rayoon wanted to know how to tell them apart if they had makeup on and Jin goes ‘I scratch the makeup off my nose’ ahhh and giteuk has a mole on his chest he affectionately calls ‘james’ and geez the guy even talked to it it was so cute the way he’s confident in his mole now and Sion actually suggested that name to him and so when asked if Jin’s mole had a name he suggested Alex and giteuk was like ‘James doesn’t like that name’ and so sion says ‘name him Thomas’ and it was decided that was such a cute and wholesome bit and geez the raptor bits they carried throughout the video was so funny. It’s a shame they really aren’t doing anything. I would think having twins in a group is something that gets people’s attention but I guess it still depends on where the group is coming from. Jin and Been are so adorable tho man I hope they’re all living their best lives rn

[annecoulmanross]

Top Ten Historical Figures Done Dirty by The Terror (2018)

So, we all know and love Dave Kajganich and Soo Hugh’s beautiful show, right? Of course. But it’s important to set the historical record straight, especially when there are real people’s life-stories and legacies on the line. 

(NOTE: this list is biased heavily toward upper-class individuals because the historical record does a better job preserving those voices for us. Was the real Cornelius Hickey as nasty a person in real life as he was in the show? Almost certainly not – which is why we’re given “E.C.” as a nod to the fact that we shouldn’t assume these characters represent real historical villains, even when the narrative makes them antagonists; HOWEVER, not everyone in the show was given the same courtesy as the OG “Cornelius Hickey.” Which is why this post exists – to show you the best sides of some people you might not otherwise appreciate for their full humanity. That being said, keep in mind the sources used – and, for instance, who has surviving portraits and who doesn’t.)

Thus, below the cut, I give you this list, (mostly) in order from #10 (honorable mention, only somewhat slandered) to #1 (most hideously maligned) – my list of characters from The Terror who deserved better. 

(Please don’t take this too seriously – I know there are reasons why choices had to be made in order to make this show work on television, and I do very much love the end product. But I also genuinely think it’s a good idea to remember the real people behind these characters, and think critically about how we depict them ourselves.) 

Bottom Tier – The Overlooked Men of the Franklin Expedition

#10. Richard Wall – & – John Diggle

We’re combining these two because they had a lot in common, historically speaking! Both were polar veterans, having served as a Cook (Wall) and an AB-then-Quartermaster (Diggle) on HMS Erebus under the command of Sir James Clark Ross in the Antarctic expedition of 1839-1843. Certainly we do get some good scenes with them in the show, but there was plenty more to explore there – for instance, Captain Ross was apparently so taken with Richard Wall that he hired him on as a private cook after the Antarctic expedition. (One imagines that Sir James may have regretted letting his friends of the Franklin expedition steal Wall out from under him.)

(If you want some more information on Diggle, the brilliant @handfuloftime​ found this excellent article on him – fun facts include the detail that Diggle’s only daughter bore the name Mary Ann Erebus Diggle.) 

#9. John Smart Peddie 

Now, I don’t think we should go as far as the Doctor Who Audio Drama adaptation of the Franklin Expedition, which makes Peddie into Francis Crozier’s oldest friend, someone “almost like a brother” to Crozier (no evidence of ANY prior relationship between the two existed, contrary to whatever the Doctor Who Audio Dramas would have you believe!) but Peddie probably earned his place as chief surgeon, however fond we may all be of the beautiful Alex “Macca” MacDonald, who was, in fact, the Assistant Surgeon, historically speaking. It’s hard to find information about Peddie, but someone should go looking! I want to know about this man! 

(If you want to know more about the historical Alexander MacDonald, there’s a short biographical article on him from Arctic that you can read here.)

#8 James Walter Fairholme

The only one of the expedition’s lieutenants who doesn’t really get any characterization in the show, which is a travesty! The historical Fairholme (pronounced “Fairem”) was, as they say, a himbo, and the letters that he wrote home to his father are positively precious. He loved the expedition pets (lots of kisses for Neptune!), and he needed two kayaks because he couldn’t fit into just one with his beefy thighs. Fitzjames loaned him a coat when all the Erebus officers had their portraits taken, and then called him a “smart, agreeable companion, and a well informed man,” and Goodsir singled Fairholme out as “very much interested” in the work of naturalist observations. Just a lovely young man who could have gotten some screen time, you know? 

(Also, as @transblanky​ discovered, four separate members of the Fairholme family gave money to Thomas Blanky’s widow when she was struggling financially in the 1850s, making them, combined, the most generous contributor to her subscription.) 

Middle Tier – Franklin’s Men Who Didn’t Deserve That

#7. William Gibson

Alright, I want to talk about how uniquely horrible the show’s William Gibson is: this is a character willing to lie and accuse his partner of sexual assault that didn’t happen. I get there were extenuating circumstances, but if I were a historical figure who died in some famous disaster and someone depicted me doing something like that? Let’s just say I’m deeply offended on the real Gibson’s behalf. 

What do we know about the historical William Gibson? Not much – but we know a little. Gibson’s younger brother served on an overland exploratory venture across Australia in the 1870s… from which he never returned. (God, the Gibson family had the worst luck?) This description of a conversation that young Alf Gibson had with expedition leader Ernest Giles only days before his death is VERY eerie: 

[Gibson] said, “Oh! I had a brother who died with Franklin at the North Pole, and my father had a deal of trouble to get his pay from government.” He seemed in a very jocular vein this morning, which was not often the case, for he was usually rather sulky, sometimes for days together, and he said, “How is it, that in all these exploring expeditions a lot of people go and die?” 

I said, “I don't know, Gibson, how it is, but there are many dangers in exploring, besides accidents and attacks from the natives, that may at any time cause the death of some of the people engaged in it; but I believe want of judgment, or knowledge, or courage in individuals, often brought about their deaths. Death, however, is a thing that must occur to every one sooner or later.” 

To this he replied, “Well, I shouldn't like to die in this part of the country, anyhow.” In this sentiment I quite agreed with him, and the subject dropped.

(From Giles’s Australia Twice Traversed which you can read here) 

Beyond that, one thing we do know is that William Gibson was probably friends with Henry Peglar – they had served on ships together before, and Gibson may possibly have been the poor fellow found cradling the Peglar Papers, according to researcher Glenn Stein. So we might imagine the historical Gibson as a much kinder man than the show’s depiction of him – this was someone who befriended the clever, playful Peglar we all know and love from the transcriptions of his papers, so full of poetry and linguistic jokes. It’s a shame we didn’t get a chance to meet this real Gibson, who actually knew the Henry Peglar whom we love so well.

#6. Stephen Stanley

Look. There’s that one famous line in James Fitzjames’s letters to the Coninghams about how Stanley went about with his “shirt sleeves tucked up, giving one unpleasant ideas that he would not mind cutting one’s leg off immediately – ‘if not sooner.’” And certainly Harry Goodsir had some mixed opinions of the man, saying was “a would be great man who as I first supposed would not make any effort at work after a time,” and that he “knows nothing whatever about subject & is ignorant enough of all other subjects,” whatever…. that means…. 

But Fitzjames also had some rather nicer things to say about him, that he was “thoroughly good natured and obliging and very attentive to our mess.” Also, the amputation comment? Very likely had a quite positive underlying joke to it – Stanley may not have been much of a naturalist, but he was actually an accomplished anatomist, who won a prize for dissection in 1836, on account of his “bend of the elbow,” which was “a picture of dissection,” according to Henry Lonsdale, who also called Stanley his “facetious friend” and “a fine fellow” (Lonsdale 1870, pg. 159). So, the real Stanley probably was rather droll, but the perpetually cruel Stanley of the show misses some of the real man’s major historical virtues and replaces them with historically unlikely mass-mercy-murder. 

#5. John Irving

Now we’re getting into the territory of characters who did get some good development, but are missing a bit of historical nuance. As I’m sure many of you know, the historical Irving was indeed very religious, but the flashes of anger (i.e. against Manson) we see from Irving in the show don’t seem terribly consistent with the Irving depicted in this memorial volume, where John seems more like a quiet, bookish, mathematically inclined young man, with a self-deprecating sense of humor and a gentle sweetness. It’s really not at all far off from the version of Irving we see with Kooveyook in the show – I just wish we could have seen more of that side of Irving. 

Top Tier – The Triumvirate of Polar Friends

So, these three DO have many good things to recommend them in the show, but because I’ve done such deep research on them, it can be quite jarring to watch certain scenes in which they behave contrary to their historical personalities, and I find myself pausing when watching the show with friends or family to explain that NO, they wouldn’t do that! 

#4. Sir James Clark Ross

First thing – we LOVE Richard Sutton. He did a beautiful job with the material given to him. (This is true of all the actors on the list, frankly, but it’s doubly true here.) But that scene at the Admiralty where Sir James tells Lady Franklin “I have many friends on those ships, as you know,” to shut down her argument for search missions? At that time (aka 1847), historically, Sir James Clark Ross was actively campaigning for search missions, planning routes and volunteering his services in command of any vessel the Admiralty even vaguely contemplated sending out. You could see this real-life desperation in Sir James’s morose attention to his whiskey glass in that scene if you’re really trying, but I think the more historically responsible thing would have been to make vividly clear that James Ross risked life and limb, as soon as he possibly could, to try to rescue Franklin and Crozier and Blanky, men he’d known and cared about and bitterly missed – and, in the case of Crozier, “truly loved.” 

#3. Sir John Franklin

The historical Franklin had plenty of flaws – his contributions to British colonial rule certainly harmed no small number of people, and we should question the way that heroic statues of Franklin are some of the only memorials that serve to honor the lives lost on Franklin’s expeditions – especially considering the steep body count of not only Franklin’s final voyage, but his previous missions in Arctic regions as well. (DM me and I’ll scream at you about counter-monuments! Is this a promise or a threat? Who knows!) With that said, most contemporary accounts agree that Sir John Franklin treated his friends, his family, and those within his social orbit with kindness, and his cruelties were systemic, not personal. In this light, the image of Sir John viciously tearing into Francis Crozier’s vulnerabilities in the show feels very off. Though there was certainly some friction over Crozier’s two proposals to Sophia Cracroft, historically speaking, there’s no evidence at all that Sir John discouraged her from marrying Francis – Sophia may have had many reasons of her own (*clears throat meaningfully in a lesbian sort of way*) for not accepting any of the several marriage proposals offered to her (from Crozier as well as from others), and we ought to keep in mind that she remained unmarried all her life. The notion that the real Sir John would have considered Crozier too low-born or too Irish to be part of the Franklin family isn’t grounded in historical fact.

#2. Lady Jane Franklin

Again disclaimer: the real Lady Franklin left behind a legacy with much to critique. Those who rightfully point out the racism of her treatment of the young indigenous Tasmanian girl Mathinna should be fully heard out. Observations of her own contributions to imperialism are important and valid. Though I tend to see her feud with Dr. John Rae as somewhat understandable – given that Lady Franklin didn’t have the benefit of our hindsight knowing Rae was correct – the levels of prejudice that she enabled and even encouraged in the writing of Charles Dickens when he attempted to discredit Inuit accounts of Franklin’s fate are inarguably deplorable. These things being said, everything noted for Sir John re: Sophia Cracroft goes for Lady Franklin as well – there’s no reason to imagine a scene where Jane would bully Francis Crozier within an inch of his life, seconds after a failed second proposal, when, historically, Lady Franklin felt the situation was so delicate that it required the quiet and compassionate intervention of Sir James Clark Ross, a dearly loved mutual friend to all parties. Tension does not imply aggression; conflict is not abuse. We know this can’t have been an easy experience for the historical Francis Crozier, but the picture is a lot more complicated than what can be shown in one small subplot of a ten-episode television show. Because of this complexity, however, Lady Franklin’s social deftness suffers in the show. (I could also write an entire essay about Jane Franklin’s last shot in the show, at the beginning of Episode 9: The C the C the Open C – TL;DR is that framing is very important, and, at the very last moment, the show reframes Lady Franklin as a mutilated corpse, a speaking mouth without a brain, which is….. a choice.)

And, at number 1, the person done most dirty by The Terror (2018) is….

#1. Charles Frederick “Freddy” Des Voeux 

Look. I’m biased here because I am fed daily information about the historical Freddy Des Voeux from @frederickdesvoeux​ so I’ve become, I think understandably, a bit attached. 

But this is very plainly the clearest cruelty the show does to a historical figure – the historical Des Voeux was a very young man (only around 20 when the ships set sail) known always as “Frederick or Freddy” to his family, and described by all parties as bright and sweet – Fitzjames said that he was “a most unexceptionable, clever, agreeable, light-hearted, obliging young fellow, and a great favourite of Hodgson’s, which is much in his favour besides,” and described him cheerfully helping to catch specimens for Goodsir. Des Voeux is named “dear” by Captain Osborn in Erasmus Henry Brodie’s 1866 poem on the Franklin Expedition (43) and Leo McClintock reported the young man’s well-known “intelligence, gallantry, and zeal” in his 1869 update to his account of the Franklin Expedition’s fate (xlii). None of this is consistent with Des Voeux’s behaviour in the show, especially in the later episodes. 

To reduce Des Voeux to an easily-detested figure, over whose death one might cheer, is not a kindness – the creation of a narrative where his death is satisfying does damage to the memory of a real person, a barely-more-than-teenager who died in the cold of the Arctic and left behind only scraps of a shirt and a spidery signature in the bottom margin of a fragmentary document. 

Television shows may need their villains, but it’s important to remember that real life isn’t like that. Surely the historical Frederick Des Voeux was most likely not a perfect person, and, as an upper class officer contributing to a British imperial project, he does bear some responsibility for the harm done by the Franklin expedition, but it’s not accurate to assume he was any less worthy of sympathy than the other officers who considered him a friend – those men whom we now venerate, like James Fitzjames. So as far as I’m concerned, Freddy Des Voeux deserves at least as much consideration, care, and compassion from us. 

[imherongraystairstrash]

Hey I love your writing so much!! Could you consider writing a fic about Alexander’s birth and more importantly everyone’s reaction and first time meeting him. Gideon,Will,Jem,Tessa, Charlotte, Sophie, Henry and all of his cousins and Anna and Kit of course I feel like it would be so sweet

Thank you so muchh!! It ended up being too long haha! Since you asked for the TID reactions, I split up the fic so that my response to this ask will include them. Here’s part 1, in case you want to read it

Defender of Men (pt 2) [Alex Lightwood birth]:

“He’s absolutely precious.” Sophie said, holding Alexander in her arms. Eugenia stood behind her, smiling widely at her new cousin. 

“I want a baby,” Barbara said mournfully, from where she was kneeling beside Sophie, fixing Alexander’s hat.

Gideon choked on what must have been air.

“I’m not going to get myself pregnant, father.” Barbara said, rolling her eyes “I just said I wanted one.”

“Well, you can take care of your cousin until then.” Cecily said with a wink. “We just saved you another five years, Gideon.”

“I think ten years would be more reasonable.” Gideon said. 

“Papa!” Barbara said, her tone still hushed in the presence of the baby.

Gideon smiled at Barbara.

“Has he opened his eyes yet, Aunt Cecy?” Thomas asked. He and Kit were sitting on the floor beside her. 

Cecily smiled down at him, “Yes, darling. They’re a darker blue than Kit’s. I want to say they’re the same color as Anna’s, but I’m not quite sure.”

“Will’s never going to let you hear the end of that.” Gideon said to Gabriel.

“You’re right,” Will said, James in tow. “Lightworm’s descendants are going to look like me.”

“Technically, they’ll look like Cecy.” Sophie said.

“Who just so happens to look like me.” Will said, before coming to a stop behind Sophie and smiling down at the newborn baby.

“Isn’t he adorable?” Sophie said. 

Will nodded, his smile growing wider. “Good job, Lightwood.” He said, clapping Gabriel on the back. “You too, Cecy.” Will said, looking over at her.

Cecily saluted him from where she was. 

James came over and smiled down at his new cousin.

“Oh, I’m hogging the baby.” Sophie said, standing up, ready to let the next person hold him.

“Do bring him here so that James and Thomas can hold him.” Cecily said.

Thomas’ eyes widened. “Oh, I’ve never held a baby before. Best let James do it.” 

“I’ve never held a baby either.” James said.

Cecily laughed, “I guess it’s time to learn.”

Both boys looked equally dismayed and terrified.

“It’s not hard,” Sophie said, kneeling down beside them. 

Cecily and Sophie taught them how to place their hands, and, despite it being his first time, Thomas held Alexander perfectly. When Cecily put Alexander in Jamie’s arms, he was clearly nervous and tense. Cecily ruffled his hair.

“Good, Jamie bach.” She said smiling. “You boys are naturals.”

“I’d even go as far as to say that they’re better than the girls.” Sophie said, smiling.

“I heard that!” Eugenia said. 

…

By the time Tessa and Lucie came, the room wasn’t as full since Anna, Barbara and Eugenia had gone to do lord knew what. They were always disappearing, saying they were discussing things that were of importance to them. Sophie and Cecily always joked that they were planning a revolution. Well, half-joked.

“Oh, Cecily, he’s beautiful.” Tessa said, fixing the baby’s blanket.

“And lazy.” She added. “He’s been asleep this entire time.”

Will raised his eyebrows at Gabriel. “Maybe he’s tired of having to deal with his father.”

“Lucie wouldn’t stop crying when she was born, maybe she was disappointed when she realized her father was the way he was.” Gabriel cut back.

Cecily and Tessa rolled their eyes at them in synchronization, like they do whenever their husbands are around each other. 

“What’s his name?” Tessa asked.

“Alexander.” Cecily said, proudly. 

Tessa smiled wide. “Oh, I do love that name. It reminds me of when I went to school in New York. Alexander Hamilton, the United States founding father.” She added the last sentence after receiving a couple of confused looks. 

“Aunt Cecy, can I babysit?” Lucie said. Before Cecily could respond, Lucie spoke again. “On second thought, I can barely take care of myself. Perhaps it is not the best idea to leave me in charge of a child.”

“You can take care of him while we’re in the same room.” Gabriel said with a smile.

Lucie nodded eagerly. “Yes! Wonderful idea, Uncle!” 

…

The rest of the day had been a flurry of fawning over the new baby and congratulations. Gabriel and Cecily had gone to surprise Charlotte and Henry, with the baby in a basket, tucked under a mountain of warm blankets, to keep out the cold. 

When Henry opened the door, his eyes widened in surprise and then extreme excitement. 

“What ho! Cecily! You’ve given birth!” 

“Yes!” Cecily laughed.

“How wonderful, absolutely wonderful! Oh, do come in; Charlotte will be ecstatic!” 

Charlotte was ecstatic indeed. When she saw the baby, her hands fluttered to her chest and then she came over to kiss both Cecily and Gabriel on the cheek. 

“You crazy children! We would have come to your house. You didn’t have to bring the baby here.” 

“We wanted to surprise you.” Cecily said. 

Charlotte took her shoulders and sat her down. “And you should be resting.” 

“Does that mean you don’t want to see him?” Gabriel asked, lifting Alexander in his arms.

“Of course I do,” Charlotte said, laughing. She went over to Gabriel and looked at the baby. 

Her face softened immediately. 

“Oh, how precious,” she said, brushing his pink cheek. 

Gabriel brought the baby down a little bit so that Henry could see better. Cecily smiled at the way Gabriel showed the baby to them excitedly. 

“Have you decided on the name?” Henry asked. 

“Alexander,” Gabriel said, placing him in Charlotte’s arms.

Alexander fussed a little bit at being transferred from his father’s arms to somebody else’s, but then quieted down once he realized Charlotte was just as warm, if not, more warm than Gabriel was. 

“Alexander Lightwood.” She said, “he’s absolutely perfect.”

…

“Am I better at holding babies than James?” Matthew asked, looking up at Cecily.

Cecily shook her head, smiling. “I thought you were supposed to love your parabatai.”

“I do! I love to compete with him.”

“Either way, I’m not telling you who’s better.”

“It’s alright, Aunt. I know it’s me.” Matthew said, looking back down at the baby. 

Cecily nudged his head with the palm of her hand affectionately. 

…

When Alex had finally woken up again he was in Henry’s arms and he stared at him like wide eyes, blinking slowly.

Gabriel and Charlotte were talking about something in the other corner of the room. Matthew was leaning over Henry’s bath chair, his forearms braced on the handles. 

“Who’s that, Alex?” Cecily asked. “Is it your Uncle Henry?”

Alexander made the softest of noises. 

Cecily kissed her son’s head. 

“Little Alex. You have quite a lot of names to remember.” Henry said. 

Cecily laughed. 

Quite a lot of names to remember, indeed. But at least he’ll know that behind each of those names, are people who love him and would follow him for his first milestones:

His first words were “nana” and “-it” because of his siblings. 

His first steps were into his cousin Thomas’ arms.

His first laugh was with his father, his second with his uncle Will, though it was Matthew who made him laugh the most. 

His first of smiles was when his mother was hugging him and when Barbara and Eugenia spoke with him, pretending they understood everything.

He’d play shadowhunters his all of his cousins, though specifically with “Mames” and “Ucie”. He’d go on walks with his parents, Aunt Sophie and Uncle Gideon. 

There were many other memories, all with his large family, all of whom he loved very much, and who all loved him in return.

Tagging: @tsccreatorsnet  @atla-lok143  @rinadragomir  @youngreckless  @autumnangel20  @julemmaes  @cupcakesandkittens  @no-scones-allowed  @fictionally-fantastic  @stxr-thxif  @writeforjordelia  @itsdaughterofthemoon  @jordeliasupremacy  @cordelia-cardale  @will-effing-herondale  @axoloteca  @heronstairs2014  @ilovemanicures  

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[livia-dovehallow]

Hello ! I just finish COI and I love your gabrily fics,

CHAIN OF IRON SPOILER

so can you do one about the part of Gabriel near death experience, maybe in the infirmary or Cecily realising Gabriel in distress with Anna, Christopher and Alexander in it ?

THANK YOU!! :’) You actually have the perfect request as I was already working on a piece on that exact topic. I plan to make an extended version of this soon, but for now, please enjoy!

WARNING: COI SPOILERS AHEAD

Stay With Me - Gabrily (Chain of Iron Fix-It Series by livia-dovehallow)

Characters: Gabriel Lightwood, Cecily Herondale-Lightwood, Anna Lightwood, Christopher Lightwood, Alexander Lightwood, Will Herondale, Thomas Lightwood, Alastair Carstairs

Time slowed down.

As if the world had stopped along with the beat of her heart, Cecily could only watch as the creature’s barbed tentacle grabbed hold of her Gabriel and brought him down.

“Father!” she heard her precious Kit scream before he ran toward Gabriel, Thomas and Alastair Carstairs close behind.

No, Cecily thought, Raziel, no, please no. She held the witchlight stone in her hand with a grip that should have shattered an ordinary rock. She knew she shouldn’t scream; Alexander was in the room, sitting quietly on the bed behind her, and she need not frighten him more than he already was.

“Be brave, my darling,” she had told him when they first fled up the stairs. She had tucked him in below the sheets, kissed his head, and gazed into his wide, scared eyes. “We are brave, yes?”

Alex had nodded and believed her. Cecily did not believe her own words now.

A scream—a terrified, broken scream—lay stuck in her throat. Gabriel was nowhere to be seen, taken below the murky waters. The only sign he was still alive were the signs of struggle in the rippling water and the young boys slashing vigorously at the creature’s extended body. Christopher was unlike his normal self; his face was hard, his body swinging and throwing with all its might. Cecily did not know what she would do if she lost them both today—the love of her life and their sweet, sweet boy.

She knew her marriage runes were symbolic—meant to display their vows of love and loyalty to one another—but she did not lose faith that there was something more. Something beyond symbols that connected her to Gabriel.

Come back to me, Cecily prayed. Come back to me, Gabriel. Please don’t leave me now.

.

.

This was not how Gabriel wanted to end his day. Or his life, for that matter.

The barbs on the tentacle twisted around him dug deep into his skin. Had he screamed with the pain then he would have drowned by now, surely. He heard Christopher’s shout before he went below the water and hoped he was all right. Gabriel wanted to live, but if giving his life meant his family would live, it was an easy decision.

Above him he could see the faintest of shadows indicating that there were people above him fighting to set him free. He knew from the shape of one of the shadows that it had to be Thomas and Christopher there, hacking away. The third shadow was anyone’s guess.

Gabriel thrashed, ignoring the continual digging of the barbs into his skin. He’d lost his knife in the fall but there was no time for sorrow now. Just as he was about to pull a Will Herondale and sink his teeth into the closest flesh, a ringing sound went through his mind.

Come back to me, Gabriel.

It was Cecily. He would know her voice anywhere. He thought of years past, when she had nearly died taking down a pack of Raum demons and he was sure he was moments away from losing her. He would not do that to her.

A wave of strength came over him. He turned his body and rammed against the boulder he had fallen from. He fought for a sturdy grip, reaching higher and higher until—

A hand clasped around his wrist and pulled hard. At the same moment, the tentacle engulfing him fell away with a screech, and the rest of his body came flying through the waves and back onto the solid rock, where he lay gasping for air.

“Father!”

“Uncle Gabriel!”

Gabriel coughed up water before looking up into the concerned and frightened eyes of his son and nephew. “Are you hurt?” he choked, reaching his hands toward the both of them.

Christopher burst; his lavender eyes wild. “Me? Father, you are bleeding! Thomas, where is your stele?”

Thomas fumbled at his coat desperately and swore. “Bridgestock took it from me!”

“Use mine.”

Gabriel glanced behind Thomas and was surprised to find Alastair Carstairs standing there. He held his hand out to Thomas, offering his stele with a softer expression on his face than Gabriel had ever recalled seeing. Without a moment’s hesitation, Thomas took the stele and began scribbling runes all over Gabriel’s arm.

The world suddenly went silent. Then, a roaring thunder sounded across the Institute lawn as the water that had filled the land drained away; the monstrous tentacles draining away with it.

“Bring him down,” Thomas said to Christopher. “They’ll be filling the infirmary soon.”

Christopher paled; his eyes wide toward the Institute. Gabriel started. He was badly injured and bleeding, but the look of fear on his son’s face paled in comparison. “What is it, Kit?”

Christopher swallowed; then, in a shaking whisper, said: “Mam’s coming.”

The boys scrambled quickly to bring Gabriel down to flat ground. Gabriel turned toward the doors. The closer Cecily got, the more he realized that the fierce expression on her face was not anger--it was desperation. She was, or at least had been, crying.

“Mam,” Christopher started, but faltered when Cecily reached them. She fell to her knees beside them and brought Kit into her arms in an iron embrace. “Are you hurt?” she fretted, looking him over. A stele had appeared in her hand, though from where, Gabriel couldn’t say. Years of marriage had not yet answered the mysterious origin of a mother’s love and protection.

Christopher shook his head. “Father—”

Cecily turned to him, her skin flushed, eyes wide with worry. She kissed Kit’s head and scrambled to Gabriel’s side, her eyes now scanning his body. He knew it was not a pretty sight—the barbs had torn his flesh and he’d lost a significant amount of blood. “Cecy—” he began and was promptly cut off.

“Boys, we must move him to the infirmary,” she commanded, gathering her skirts and squatting, ready to lift. “Now.”

There was no disobeying her; Thomas, Christopher, and Alastair all assisted her in lifting him off the ground without the slightest hint of hesitation or protest. The scenery passed Gabriel in a blur; of Anna spotting them and racing down from her position; Will running between the injured and barking commands; even James, Lucie, Matthew, and Cordelia appearing at the gates.

The infirmary was in chaos. Beds had been quickly assembled and set across the vast room. There had been no deaths reported yet, and Cecily Lightwood was determined to keep it that way.

After ensuring that all three of her children were safe and unhurt, she sent them upstairs to stay with Alexander. “Keep him busy,” she had told them, her heart racing. “He’s frightened.”

“So are we,” Anna had answered, but it was not argumentative. Cecily placed her hands on both their cheeks.

“Your father is a stubborn one,” she had said. She smiled, though it was wavering. “He will not go without a fight. I will make sure of that.”

With a flurry of kisses and “I love you’s,” the children finally left to care for their brother, leaving Cecily at Gabriel’s beside squeezing his hand tight while a Silent Brother tended to his wounds.

“Stay with me,” she whispered to him. His eyes were fluttering. He was fighting hard to stay awake, yet he had not the energy to do much else. Against her will, Cecily’s tears had begun to fall again. “Stay with me, Gabriel. I love you. I love you.”

Cecily had begun to fall into a dark pit of grief when she felt a hand grip her shoulder tight. She turned to find her brother looking at her intensely, concern evident in his expression. He said nothing, but she knew that he would always be there when she needed him, and here he was. “I can’t lose him,” she told him blankly.

“You won’t,” Will said.

“Is that what you told him, too?”

Will’s eyes were sad. “Yes. And here you are, aren’t you?”

Cecily placed her hand over her brother’s on her shoulder and looked back at Gabriel. His fight to stay awake was lost. He was too pale for her liking, his lips faded into the slightest memory of pink. “The children need their father.”

She felt a tugging at her arm and found herself being lifted from her seat and into Will’s arms. He held her tight and rubbed her back soothingly. “The last thing Gabriel would ever do is leave you or the children,” he assured her. “Not if he has any say about it. The man is a stubborn and loyal bastard.”

.

.

Cecily was unsure how much time had passed since she had last seen her children. Jem had come by to treat Gabriel, who slept, and had told her to take a break. It would do him no good if he woke and saw she had not eaten or slept.

When Cecily emerged from the infirmary, she found all three of her children posted along the wall across from the infirmary entrance. Anna and Christopher sat beside one another, each resting their head on the other’s. Alex sat in Christopher’s lap, his back to his brother’s chest, and was fast asleep. The sight alone warmed Cecily’s heart, a welcome distraction from the wounds that nearly tore the love of her life away from her.

She stepped forward and kneeled in front of them. She hated to wake them, but the corridor was cold, and she worried they may catch a cold waiting out there for too long. “Fy anwylyd,” she said gently, brushing their cheeks with the pads of her thumbs. “Come along. It’s much too cold to wait here.”

“Mam?” It was Alex, blinking sleepy eyes at her. He shifted his position, which woke Christopher with a sudden, “What ho!” and disoriented expression.

Cecily smiled gently at them. Her boys were such gentle people that sometimes she could not believe they came from her. “Come along now,” she repeated.

Anna lifted her head from Christopher’s with a tired scowl. “Watch your head,” she told him, rubbing her temple. “Those curls do not provide ample cushion for sudden movements.”

“Sorry,” Christopher mumbled, slowly becoming aware of his surroundings. “Mam,” he said upon noticing her kneeling in front of him. “Is Father all right?”

Cecily brushed his curls from his face. “He will be,” she said softly. “It will take time for him to heal, but he will be all right.”

Relief filled her children’s faces—even Anna’s, who had pretended she wasn’t terribly worried despite rightfully being so. “Can we see him?” she asked carefully. Cecily patted her knee.

“In a bit,” she told them and stood. She held her hands out to them, to help them stand or hand Alex over, whichever they chose. They chose to hand Alex over. He immediately hooked himself onto her neck and dug his heels into her side, firmly planting himself there in her arms. “He’s been given a sedative to sleep while the Brothers work to heal him. Your father will fret over us all if we have not eaten or slept before visiting him, you know.”

“Bridget is cooking a feast in the kitchen with so many people about the Institute. I hope there are still lemon tarts,” Christopher said wistfully. “I can save one for Father, too.”

Cecily smiled. “Let’s go find them before the others do.”

.

.

When Gabriel awoke, he had forgotten where he was. His body ached terribly and he could feel beads of sweat drip from the hair at the base of his neck. He could feel something warm in his hand—something comforting. He forced his eyes opened and groaned.

“Father,” someone gasped. The warm feeling—a hand—tightened in his and a head full of dark hair shot up beside him.

Cecily gazed at him, her grip strong as it ever was. Her hair had fallen from its pins when she rose from his shoulder, but he’d never been so happy to see her looks so disheveled. She rose her other hand and brushed at his cheek softly. “How are you feeling?” she whispered. Over her shoulder he could see his children. Anna, with Alexander climbing about her back, and Christopher stood beside each other, hope and weariness filling their eyes. He smiled at them all.

“I ache,” he admitted. “I don’t think I can move very much. But I don’t feel terribly under the weather.” He squeezed his wife’s hand with as much strength as he could muster. He saw the tension release from her shoulders and felt himself relax with her.

“Incredible!” Christopher said in awe. Gabriel met his son’s eyes and smiled in amusement. Christopher was observing the bandages across his body with fascination. “These were severe injuries, Father, and you only ache? I must figure out how that’s possible and recreate it in the lab.”

“I’ll do what I can to help,” Gabriel answered affectionately. Christopher grinned.

.

.

Cecily brushed away the hairs that had fallen into her husband’s eyes. He had regained color in his skin soon after waking up and looked like her lively Gabriel once again. She’d sat beside him for hours upon hours, her children coming and going throughout. “How many times do I have to tell you to stay with me?” she wondered aloud with a soft shake of her head. Gabriel chuckled. “This is not a request. It is a demand.”

“Leave this?” Gabriel asked, gesturing to their children asleep, their heads on the end of his bed, and Alex clearly enjoying the nook between Gabriel’s feet and the iron railing at the foot of his bed. He turned back to Cecily. “Not a chance. I’ve worked too hard to get here. I’m so sorry, Mrs. Lightwood, but I will not be throwing away all my hard work.”

Cecily’s smile grew until she could no longer hold in her laugh. “Hard work indeed,” she said and kissed him.

@tsccreatorsnet

[schrijverr]

'Till Death Do Us Part

Part 8 out of 13

When Alex has to bring Philip to work, he and Thomas discover that they both have something in common: they lost their love. They form an unexpected bond and connection about this that grows into something more.

A medium burn with parental feelings about Philip and flowers.

On AO3.

Ships: Jamilton

Warnings: brief mention of loss

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 8: Red Tulip Means ‘Declaration of Love’

“Alex,” Thomas smiled broadly.

“Yup, that’s me,” Alex grinned, “I hope you don’t mind that I brought food. And that I am barging in on you. I know that birthdays aren’t really your thing, but I did want to do something, so I thought I’d keep it small, but if it’s not okay then-”

Thomas crushed him into a hug, cutting him off: “You’re such a doll, thank you.”

Muffled Alex replied: “No problem,” he wanted to add ‘did it with love,’ but he didn’t want to make it weird, even if it was true.

“I’m glad you didn’t throw a big party or anything,” Thomas said, stepping back and squeezing his the base of his neck before letting go completely and inviting him, “Here, come in.”

He lead Alex over to the couch and got them both something to drink, while Alex set the food out on the table and started up the TV.

When Thomas sat down, Alex said: “You get to pick the movie, but first unwrap this,” as he handed him the small flat, neatly wrapped package.

“Did you wrap this?” Thomas asked, slightly surprised with disbelief tainting his voice.

“Are you saying I couldn't?” Alex sounded offended, but not that seriously.

“I don’t know, you don’t seem the wrapping type,” Thomas shrugged.

“I’ll have you know that I am the king in gift wrapping. The only one better than me in wrapping is Eliza and she can happily have my crown,” Alex said, slightly too proud of the minor achievement, which was adorable.

Thomas chuckled: “Okay, okay, I believe you.”

“Years of practice, baby,” Alex flexed his little noodle arms.

That elicited a snort out of Thomas, who just shook his head with a smile as he carefully started unwrapping the gift.

Alex watched it for a moment, before he couldn't take it. He had promised himself to wait until Thomas’s birthday was over, but this was just too far: “Oh my God, why are you unwrapping it like that? How old are you again? Sixty?”

“Not you too,” Thomas practically wailed.

“I wasn’t going to say it… today,” Alex protested, “But- I mean, come on, with the tape and the saving the wrapping paper.”

“Ugh, excuse me for not tearing it apart like a monster,” Thomas guffawed.

“It’s kinda funny…” Alex bit his lip, “Old man.”

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t, but I thought you were on my side, not with James, Laf and Angelica,” Thomas pouted.

“Why wouldn’t I want to be on team cool, when you’re on the other team,” Alex teased, poking Thomas in the side.

The pout deepened: “You’re so mean to me.”

“Yet, I still got you a gift, so forgive and forget,” Alex offered.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Thomas said, going back to carefully unwrapping the gift, not changing his ways and taking his sweet time just because he could.

In the the wrapping paper was a pink book with lungs with flowers growing in them on the cover. On the top it said in cursive ‘a poetry collection’ and the title was: i saw you as a flower, written by Ellen Everet.

“I still have the receipt if you don’t like it, but I know you like to try new authors and I saw it and I thought of you,” Alex rambled.

He once again got cut off by a hug, this time paired with a kiss.

Thomas couldn't express how touched he was by the gift. It was both cute and thoughtful, with a reference to a little thing they did and tied to something he liked to do. Only James had given him such a personal gift in the past seven years.

“You’re so good to me,” Thomas whispered, “I want to keep you forever, you precious little thing.”

“Forever?” Alex whispered back, a little hopeful yet cautious.

It only then clicked for Thomas what he had actually said. He flushed and started to backtrack: “I mean- I don’t- no-” then remembered his conversation with James, “Well, I would be up for it, but just a boyfriend would be nice for now.”

Immediately Alex’s frame relaxed and he beamed. He leaned into Thomas’s side and said: “That does sound nice.”

“So, does that- do you- do you want that?” Thomas had to double check, a voice in his mind telling him to not believe it.

“Yeah, yeah, I would,” Alex smiled, “I’m actually glad you spoke up first, isn’t that sad? Me, always opinions everywhere, never quiet.”

“Hey, we all have our moment and I won’t have you bad mouth my boyfriend,” there were flutters in his stomach just saying that and he saw them reflected in Alex’s eyes.

“Sap,” Alex pushed him over.

He stuck out his tongue and retorted: “It’s your sap now.”

“Yeah, my sap,” Alex repeated giddily.

Thomas sat up again, quickly leafing through the book: “But really, thanks for this, I’m definitely reading it,” before putting it to the side and pulling Alex close to him, “I say we watch The Breakfast Club.”

“I love that movie,” Alex smiled, putting it on, before settling againstThomas’s heart.

Thomas noticed Alex did this thing where he wiggled under his arm and made himself small against his side. He wasn’t sure if Alex knew he did it, but he always looked so content tucked into Thomas’s side, so Thomas couldn't bring himself to say anything about it with the risk that Alex stopped.

The opening of the movie rolled and Thomas just held Alex against his side, warmth that he could say he was cuddling with his boyfriend.

When Thomas awoke the next morning it was with a still asleep Alex tucked against his side in the bed. He smiled softly and tucked Alex’s hair behind his ear and placing a kiss on the forehead of his boyfriend.

He smiled at that and tightened his grip on Alex, the man starting to stir with that. Blearily he blinked and asked: “Wha’s going on?”

“Hey there, sleepy head,” Thomas replied, “We have work today, you need to get up.”

Alex groaned and burrowed his face in Thomas’s chest: “But you’re so comfy.”

Thomas chuckled lightly, but Alex looked to adorable to argue with him. His hair was a mess and his eyes half closed as he curled into himself and tugged the pillow over his head slightly. So he said: “I’m making coffee, you can come down in a few minutes and I’ll pour you a cup.”

A small smile made its way onto Alex’s face and he mumbled: “So good to me,” before rolling over once more.

At that Thomas rolled his eyes then he got out of the bed and got dressed, before padding his way downstairs. There was a lightness in his step after yesterday and he felt better than he had in a while, like he could do anything.

He stopped at Martha’s photo in the kitchen. He didn’t have many pictures, but he had a few Martha’s around the house. He smiled at her and said: “God, if you could see me now, you’d be so proud of me for being happy.”

Behind him Alex watched him, still in his pajamas. He smiled softly, before retreating, not wanting to intrude on the moment. He hadn’t noticed the pictures the first time he was there, but he was glad that Thomas had at least something.

A few minutes later he came back, fully dressed this time, and pecked Thomas on the cheek as he greeted him: “Good morning.”

“Ah, awake now, are we?” Thomas teased, planting a quick kiss on Alex’s lips and handing him a mug that Alex took gratefully.

“Yeah,” Alex said, “Slept well again, didn’t want to let it go just yet.”

“Hm, you usually seem to sleep well, that not true?” Thomas frowned, the answer prickling something in his mind.

Alex looked up from his mug, confused, before smiling softly and explaining: “I usually wake up early, with Pip and just general bad sleepinghabits, but having someone next to me makes it easier to sleep.”

Thomas nodded thoughtfully, glad that he could help Alex to sleep like a normal person. The man had enough bad habits as it was.

They moved throughthe morning, gathering their stuff and getting in Alex’s car, Thomas deciding he could get back on his own after work, since Alex was goingto pick up Philip from Eliza after work.

It was the first time they came together since they started flirting. Normally when one stayed the night it was in the weekend, but despite some of the looks they got, it didn’t feel weird. It was just the next step and both were excited to take it.

One of the people that noticed was Angelica, who pulled Alex into her office, eyebrows wiggling: “So, Alex, how was the birthday boy?”

“Shut up, it was nothing like that. We stayed the night together before, you know,” Alex rolled his eyes at her, hoping he wasn’t blushing.

“But Pip was in the house then,” Angelica protested.

“And there have been times he was not,” Alex countered.

“Come on, give me something,” Angelica shook his arm, “I see in your eyes that something big has happened. Tell me.”

Alex contemplated letting her splutter a bit more, but it wasn’t necessary, because she threatened: “I am willing to break my promise to never mention Hammy the Cat to Thomas.”

“Okay, okay, calm down, I was going to tell you anyway,” he said, then grinned, “I just got a boyfriend, so tha-”

“What?” Angelica shook him even harder, “You made it official?”

He nodded excitedly, before saying: “I’m gonna tell Eliza when I see her, but I don’t know who Thomas is telling and I don’t wanna be weird about it, so try to keep it on the down low, okay? It’s not a secret or anything, just don’t go yelling it off the roof.”

“Of course,” Angelica promised, “God, ‘Lexi, I’m so excited for you.”

“Me too, Angie, me too.”

They chatted a bit more, before Alex couldn't justify wasting work time to himself anymore and they split ways to get to work.

Meanwhile Thomas had barely made himself comfortable behind his desk when his phone went off, he had put the sound on because it was his birthday the day before and forgotten to turn it off again. He saw the caller ID and sighed, it was his mom, he couldn't ignore her again.

He picked up with a: “Hi, Ma, how are you?”

“I would be better if I had a son that could pick up on his birthday so that I could congratulate him properly, but we can’t have everything, I suppose,” she said in lieu of a greeting.

“Sorry, Ma, I got caught up and missed you,” he explained.

“Well, congratulations anyway,” she said.

“Thank you.”

“Did you have a fun day, with the getting caught up in things, I hope it were good things,” she went on, “Because if they made you work overtime on your birthday I’m having words with Washington, I don’t care how good of a boss he is.”

“No, it was good, don’t worry, Ma,” Thomas assured her.

“Yeah, what were you doing? I barely talk to you these days, tell me what’s going on in your life.”

Thomas cringed at that, he had run off to France after Martha’s death and with her buried in Virginia, he had been avoiding his home and family for a while now. He made an excuse: “I’m at work right now.”

“And I am your mother, you can spare me a few minutes,” she said, “Are you still coming to Monticello this summer?”

“Yeah, I’m still coming to Monticello,” Thomas confirmed, he felt bad about ignoring her and he wanted to go home again.

“Good, I miss having you around.”

“I know, Ma,” Thomas felt guilty about not telling her about Alex. She had done a lot for him as a single mother of nine after his dad had died, he could see with Alex how much work it could be. He could spare a few moments to talk to her about everything.

He cleared his throat and said: “Actually, I missed you, because- uhm, my- my boyfriend had gotten me flowers and in the evening he came by to watch a movie together, so I wasn’t on my phone much yesterday.”

“A boyfriend?” she repeated, a bit of delight in her voice.

“Yeah,” he was blushing, “it’s kinda recent thing, well, maybe not, but it wasn’t really official until yesterday, so you’re still the first to hear about it. Sort of.”

“Tommy, I’m so happy for you,” she sounded really glad for him, which was a weight off his shoulders, “After Martha, I never thought I’d hear you sound like that.”

“Me neither,” Thomas confessed.

“Want to tell me about this mystery boy?”

“His name is Alex,” Thomas started softly, suddenly shy, “I know him from work. He’s also friends with Laf and Angelica.”

“Well, I trust Laf and Angie to have good taste,” he could hear the smile in her voice and suddenly he missed her so much.

He chuckled and blinked away tears suddenly welling up. God, he hadn’t been home in ages, having skipped last Christmas.

“What makes this Alex boyfriend material?” his Maasked.

Thomas knew the answer to that: “He can keep up with me in conversation, always keeping me on my toes, yet it’s so easy to talk with him. He’s just filled with passion and it’s amazing to see, but he’s totally different and gentle in other moments. Like with Philip, his son, it’s whack to see.”

“He has a child?”

“Yeah,” Thomas hesitated, “Is there something wrong with that?”

“No, no,” his Maassured him, “Just make sure you don’t get caught up in a divorce mess.”

“Oh, no, Ma, he’s a widower.”

It was quiet for a moment, then his Mareplied: “I’m sorry for his loss, how terrible. Did it happen recently?”

“Almost five years now,” Thomas answered, he knew why she asked. She wanted to know if he wasn’t being used to get through grief. He was touched by her concerned, but knew that wasn’t the case.

“So, I’m getting an grandchild,” she swiftly moved on, satisfied with his answer.

“You already have grandchildren,” Thomas laughed.

“But now I also have a grandson,” she told him.

“If everything goes alright, yeah.”

“You’re gonna be- I’m happy for you,” she said, “I would love to meet them sometime, ask if they want to come to Monticello this summer.”

“I-” Thomas didn’t know what to respond to that, sure, it was a few months away, but that was a big ask and maybe way to fast, “I- I’ll ask him,” he finally decided on.

“Good,” he could practically see his mother nodding, “I’ll let you get back to work now. Don’t forget to call me from time to time.”

“I’ll try,” and he promised to himself to actually try.

“Goodbye, Tommy.”

“Bye, Ma.”

After he hung up, he sat in his office for a moment, mulling over the conversation. It felt good to tell his Maand the conversation had made him more convicted in how much he wanted this relationship to stay.

He worked ‘till lunch then went over to Alex’s office, opening the door and greeting: “Hi, you hungry yet?”

Alex looked up from his furious typing and smiled. He stopped typing completely and replied: “Ah, my wonderful boyfriend, with food offerings.”

It was clear he said that just because he wanted to say boyfriend and Thomas couldn't help the grin that painted on his face, though he still teased: “Oh, am I really nothing more than food to you? I see how it is.”

“You got other qualities too,” Alex assured him, before teasing, “Like- like- oh, this is harder than I thought.”

“Dick.”

Alex just blew him a kiss and Thomas decided to drop it. He watched Alex put his work to the side and felt pride in his chest. When they’d first started eating lunch together, Alex would keep getting distracted by his work, but now he packed it away without needing a reminder.

They ate lunch and argued about which came first: the chicken or the egg. Thomas decided chicken, while Alex was in camp egg, all sparked by the egg on Thomas’s sandwich.

At the end, he did tell Alex about telling his mother after she called, which Alex was luckily cool about it. He just told Thomas that it was cool he had a mom and he should cherish the contact he had with her. However, he hadn’t yet asked him to go to Monticello with him, that felt a bit too soon.

After Thomas’s birthday they gradually fell into a new rhythm, wherein Thomas was over at Alex’s house from Thursday afternoon to Monday morning.

When Alex had to pick up Philip on Fridays. He was home earlier, so he would cook, while Thomas would cook on Thursday, since Alex would have to swing by whoever had picked up Philip that day. Though Thomas would pick up Philip from his Aunties and Uncles often enough.

They hadn’t even fully noticed how embedded they were into each others lives until Alex had a late last minute meeting on a Tuesday, right as he was about to leave to pick up Philip.

“No one is there to pick up Pip,” he said to Thomas the moment he’d heard about the meeting, “Oh fuck, Washington will kick my ass if I miss this meeting. Fuck, fuck, fuck-”

“I’ll pick him up,” Thomas had offered it before thinking about it.

“You?” Alex took a moment to let the offer sink in, “That’s- that’s perfect, oh fuck, thanks. Thank you so so much.”

“Hey, no problem, might as well at this point,” Thomas assured him, only now realizing he’d never picked up Philip from schoolbefore.

“And you’re sure you don’t have anything important that’ll get between you and picking up Pip?” with anyone else it would sound like distrust, but Thomas knew how much Alex worried and cared about Philip’s well being.

“Nah, everyone who could need me is in your meeting, I’m just lucky I have nothing to do with your little project,” Thomas replied, “I just need a note from you with a signature stating it’s okay for me to take Pip with me, might be a bit awkward otherwise.”

Alex snorted at that, before quickly penning it down and repeating the school and address along with the time school was out.

Before Thomas was out the office, Alex stopped him with a quick kiss: “You’re the best, thank you so much.”

“No problem, go kick ass in your meeting, darlin’,” Thomas smiled.

He got a thumbs up in return as Alex spun on his heel and sped off, leaving Thomas to make his way to his car and drive to Philip’s school after emailing Washington about the situation.

Thomas parked in front of the building and walked to the front desk, note in hand where he interrupted the sectary in her typing: “Hi, I’m- I’m Thomas, I’m here to pick up Philip, Philip Hamilton. First time, where do I go?”

“Ah, Ms. Dolley’s kindergarten class? It’s down that hall, do you have parent’s permission?” she replied pleasantly.

“Ah, yeah, right here,” he handed her the note and she checked it over meticulously, before nodding and giving it back: “Seems alright, have a good day.”

“You too,” Thomas nodded back awkwardly, before going down the indicated hall.

When he got to the classroom only Philip was left. He felt pretty bad that the whole thing had made him that late, but better late than never, he reasoned, hoping Philip would agree. He knocked on the door frame: “Hello, here Philip.”

Philip’s head shot up from his coloring book and he cheered: “Uncle Thomas!”

“Hey there, kiddo, sorry for the lateness,” Thomas greeted back, catching the running child in his arms and sweeping him around, before putting him down again, “Go grab your stuff, okay.”

The kid nodded and went about gathering his last stuff, while Thomas shook the hand of the teacher: “Hi, I’m Thomas, I have a note from Alex if you need it.”

“Ah, so you’re the famous Thomas, good to finally put a face to the name,” the teacher replied, “I’m Dolley, it’s nice to meet you.”

Thomas smiled: “Yeah, I somehow never got around to it, mostly picking him up from one of his Aunts or Uncles instead of school.”

“No need to explain yourself to me, I get it with a long job, you’re not the only parent,” she said pleasantly, “Can I see the note, just in case.”

“Of course,” Thomas handed her the note, deciding not to comment on the parent-part.

While she inspected it too, Philip finished packing and asked Thomas: “Why isn’t Papa picking me up? I thought he was going to?”

“Your Papa had a meeting, it was unplanned and last minute. He really wanted to come, Pip, but your Grandpa George needed him,” Thomas explained.

“Was he being way smarter than everyone else and did they need him to kick butt?” Philip asked.

Thomas laughed at the kid’s wording that was obviously Alex’s and agreed: “Yeah, they did, kiddo, they did.”

“Whoo, epic Papa, kicking everyone’s butt,” Philip cheered making ninja poses.

He ruffled the kid’s hair and nodded with a smile. Dolley gave him back the note and said: “Well, looks like everything’s in order, so you’re free to go,” she turned to Pip, “Have a good afternoon, Philip, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“‘Till tomorrow, Ms. Dolley,” Philip smiled a big toothy grin that was so much like Alex’s.

“Pleasure to meet you,” Thomas bid her farewell, before leading Philip outside, listening to his stories about coloring and their epic game of hide and seek during recess.

His own car had been outfitted with a booster seat as well after too many times of almost forgetting to transfer it. He buckled Philip in, then remembered Alex had his key of the house after leaving it at his office yesterday.

“Shit,” he cursed under his breath, before turning to Philip, “Hey, kiddo, how do you feel about seeing my house for a change?”

“That’ll be the coolest,” Philip clapped his hands.

“Good, good,” Thomas nodded, before texting Alex about the change of plans then he put his phone away to focus on driving.

As they drove Philip talked more about his day at school, before moving on to trees and finally windows. Thomas wasn’t entirely sure how he ended up at the topic, but it was kind of wonderful how much the kid could ramble on about anything if it caught his interest. Again Thomas saw Alex in him.

They rolled up into his driveway and Philip gaped: “You live there?”

It wasn’t that much bigger than Alex’s house, since it was near each other, but the woodwork was definitely more elaborate and Thomas had put a lot of thought in the front of his house. He confirmed: “Yeah, I live there, Pip. Wanna see the inside?”

Philip nodded quickly and Thomas unbuckled him and let him run to the front door, while he grabbed their stuff.

Thomas unlocked the door and told Philip: “Shoes off, please. You’re free to explore to your hearts desire, just come eat a snack and drink something in the kitchen first. It’s on the left there.”

Toeing his shoes off and handing Thomas his jacket, Philip was gone, peaking through every door he encountered on his way to the kitchen, while Thomas hung up their coats. He stopped and stared for a moment at the little coat hanging on his coat rack, shaking his head with adoring disbelief that this was his life now.

He got to the kitchen, mentally thinking of what he had to give to Philip, when he stopped in the doorway. Philip was looking at the picture of Martha he had in the kitchen. He didn’t say anything as he poured him a glass of orange juice.

When he handed it to him, Philipasked: “Who is that?”

Looking at the picture, words from the email from now seemingly so long ago came to him and he said: “That’s your Auntie Martha, she’s with the angels like your Daddy, but she preferred saying she was dancing among the stars. She’s looking over you from there, she’ll guide you home when you’re lost.”

Philip hummed and looked back to the picture studying it closely, before saying: “She’s pretty, like Auntie Maria and Auntie Peggy.”

“Yeah, she is,” Thomas agreed softly.

“Was she your Daddy?”

It took a moment for Thomas to decipher the question, but then he agreed: “She was, yeah. Me and her were married just like your Papa and Daddy were.”

There was a moment of silence, in which Philip drank his orange juice while Thomas sliced an apple. When the juice was gone, Philip decided: “I like her.”

“I’m glad to hear,” Thomas said, giving him the apple slices, “Eat these and then you’re all set.”

Philip happily munched on the slices, before thanking Thomas and rushing off to explore the house, leaving Thomas to think about today.

Ms. Dolley had assumed he was the other parent. It was probably because Philip had told them he was his Papa’s boyfriend, but he hadn’t even protested. He had a booster seat in his car and he was getting sentimental about a coat.

Somehow, Philip had wormed his way into Thomas’s heart and he couldn't imagine a life without the little kid and Alex.

Fuck.

He had accidentally adopted a kid – sort of – while he hadn’t even told the kid’s parent and his boyfriendthat he loved him. He did, God, of course he did, but he hadn’t said it yet.

At all.

And neither had Alex.

“Uncle Thomas!” Philip yelled and he immediately dropped any other thought as he rushed to the sound.

“What’s up kiddo?”

“You framed my picture,” Philip pointed out happily.

“I said I would, didn’t I. I made a pinky promise, I don’t make those lightly,” Thomas told him with a smile, looking at the portrait at end of the hallway. He had hung it up as promised right when he came back from that second date. With all his younger siblings and his two nieces he knew how important it was to make a big deal out of their art and he hadn’t even thought about it.

He looked at the portrait again and made up his mind, he was going to tell Alex he loved him. But he was doing it subtly, because fuck, that shit was too scary for him.

By the time Philip had seen all the rooms and asked a thousand questions about the books on the shelves and the souvenirs decorating the rooms, he was exhausted and had collapsed on the couch while Thomas made dinner.

The door opened and Alex’s voice rang through the hall: “I swear, the next time I see Lee and Adams, they won’t like me. Not that they do now, but oh my God.”

“Hello to you too, darling,” Thomas called back.

“Papa!” two tiny feet pattered down the hall.

Thomas could hear Alex laugh and Philip squeal, before he appeared in the doorway with his son on his hip. He kissed Thomas’s cheek and said: “Hi, Thomas, have a good afternoon with this little scoundrel here?”

“Of course, he was a proper gentlemen, right Pip?” he replied, stirring the food.

Philip nodded: “I explored the house, Uncle Thomas has my picture on the wall and I have another Auntie, did you know I have another Auntie?”

“Really?” Alex raised a brow at Thomas, but before he could say anything, Philip was already responding: “Yeah, she’s Auntie Martha and she’s very pretty. She has all the pretty dresses in the pictures and she smiles nice. Uncle Thomas said she’s dancing among the stars, isn’t that super cool?”

Realization dawned on Alex and his face softened as he send Thomas a small smile: “Yeah, Pip, that is super cool. Your Auntie Martha is watching out for you, just like Daddy.”

During dinner Philip recounted his day, while Thomas assured Alex that everything had gone well during the pick up, before Alex complained about his meeting, apologizing to Philip that he couldn't pick him up.

When dinner was done, Philip asked: “Are we going to have a sleepover here?”

Alex looked to Thomas, who shrugged and indicated that it was up to Alex and he didn’t mind either way. Alex asked in turn: “I don’t know, buddy. Would you like to?”

Philip’s eyes lit up and he said: “Oh, can I, Papa? Can I?”

“Sure, buddy,” Alex chuckled.

“Come on, kiddo,” Thomas got up, “If you help me carry these dishes you get to pick a guest room to sleep in, I’m sure you already found all ofthem.”

Thomas and Philip walked out of the room, leaving Alex to watch them with a content smile as he stayed seated for a while. Taking care of Philip had never been a burden and his friends helped him out so much, but it was nice to have Thomas around.

They allowed Philip to play a little more after dinner, before dressing him in one of Thomas’s sleep shirts and Alex made up a story about a knight, who befriended a dragon and rode between the clouds, before they fell tiredly on the couch.

After a moment of just them sitting there, Alex said: “Thank you for picking up Pip.”

“It really wasn’t a problem, ‘Lex,” Thomas assured him, “I like doing stuff for Pip, he’s a good kid and it wasn’t a problem, so don’t go worrying about it. I see your little eyes.”

“Hey, don’t insult my eyes,” Alex huffed, but Thomas saw relief in there.

“Not insulting, darlin’, I like your eyes too much for that,” he grinned.

“Sap,” Alex rolled his eyes, but didn’t protest when Thomas pulled him into a kiss, before draping himself over Thomas and staying there as they watched Designated Survivor, which they had multiple discussions about.

Alex thought it was good to be as honest as Tom Kirkman was being, while Thomas thought that it was stupid seeing the circumstances. And when Alex said it worked in his favor, Thomaswas quick to point out that it was a script and not real life, which ended up in a discussion of how it could have played out otherwise.

Over the course of the following days, Thomas made a plan to confess to Alex that he loved him. It involved bothering James, who didn’t appreciate it, and bothering Laf, who had to be sworn to secrecy using his Ma’s chocolate chip cookie recipe as a bribe.

He set it in motion the Friday a week later. Alex had left work early to pick up Philip from school, so when Thomas left he went past a flower shop and got red tulips.

First he had wanted to go with roses, but his whole plan hinged on subtlety, since he was going over to James’s house in the weekend, because they hadn’t hung out in forever, while Alex was taking Philip and visiting Herc after the man had gotten the weekend off after a huge fashion deal.

So, he would give the flowers and before Alex could decipher the meaning, he would be gone. Not having to see the reaction or deal with any of that in the moment, giving Alex space to not reject him immediately in his face.

It was perfect if he did say so himself.

With the tulips in hand he opened the door and called out a greeting. From the kitchen he heard Alex’s reply, but his first focus was on Philip, who wanted to show him a drawing he made at school that day.

He stopped however, when he saw the flowers in Thomas’s hand. Cocking his head to the side, he asked: “What are those?”

“They’re tulips, I saw them and got them for your Papa,” Thomas explained. Philip inspected them closely and Thomas couldn't help himself, when he asked: “Up to your standard, Mr. Inspector?”

Philip didn’t mind, with the family he had it was impossible not to be slightly sarcastic, so he just grinned: “On thin ice, but I give you a green light.”

“Why thank you.”

At that point Alex stuck his head through the door into the hallway and asked: “What’s holding you two up? The hallway that interesti-” he stopped when he saw the flowers and asked, “What are those for?”

“Just saw them and thought it would be nice,” Thomas shrugged, like he hadn’t planned this out in detail.

“How sweet,” Alex smiled when Thomas handed him the flowers.

Thomas took a moment to appreciate Alex in all his domestic beauty. He had an apron on and there were a few pans simmering on the stove while he cut the flowers and set them in a vase, nodding in approval to himself when he gave them a spot.

It was so crazy, yet so good to see the man he loved so relaxed and at home. The sight stirred something proud in Thomas’s chest, the small part he played in making Alex look like that as a badge of honor on his chest.

The feeling moved him to hug Alex from behind, lifting him slightly of the ground and making him gasp before he giggled.

He blew a raspberry on his cheek then set him down, taking full responsibility for the tickles he got in retaliation.

This was good, he felt good and he only hoped he hadn’t entirely fucked it up by telling Alex how he felt.

~~~~~~~~~

A/N:

I have not read the poetry itself, but the title was just too fitting not to include it in this fic. I did order it, so maybe by the time I’m posting it I have, but at the time of writing: no.

Also I am not writing smut, just not doing that. If you wanna think they have sex you can, but honestly I’m not touching that with a ten feet pole. No shame to people who do, just not for me <3

(hi im a greyaroace nonbinary lesbian if you think I know how to write that, then you would be incorrect)

[seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana]

Who I Write For

Posting this again and gonna pin it bc,,I need to update who I write for lol.

Gangsters in Love:

Chance

Ash

The others boys I’m not so good at lol.

Havenfall is for Lovers:

Diego

Razi

JD (I can try-)

Astoria Fates Kiss/Astoria Lost Kisses:

Alex

Hades

Hydra

Cerberus (precious pup).

Villainous Nights:

Duke

Starships Promise:

Atlas (Favorite grumpy pilot)

Tyrian

Love and Legends:

August

Reiner

Saerys

Sweet Enchantments:

Zain

Roman

Lucien

Liora (I can try).

Sin With Me:

Malakai

Cal

Reigning Passions:

Sevastian

Lyris

Ever After Academy:

Ezra

Arin

Queen of Thieves:

Nikolai

Remy

Now I thinks that’s everything from Lovestruck. Onto other fandoms!

My Candy Love:

Castiel (baby🥺)

Dragon Age Inquisition:

Solas

Cullen

Cassandra

For this one you can send it here or on my other blog @cullens-hoe. I might post my writings here tho bc on my other blog, the posts aren’t showing up in the search results? Weird. I’ll figure that out later, so for right now come here if you want a writing bc I want other people to see it.

The Arcana:

Muriel (baby🥺)

Julien

Asra

Kingdom Hearts:

Sora x Riku

Ask for that on this blog or my other blog @kingdomhearts-and-soriku-trash :))). My posts show up in results with that blog so I’ll take requests there :).

Seduce Me the Otome:

James

Sam (favorite baby🥺)

Erik (favorite Boy🥺. Sorry Sam :()

Matthew

Damien

And that’s all I can think of for right now. Thanks for reading and hope you’ll ask (I have other asks to get to too) or talk with me about these on this blog or the other blogs I mentioned idk lol. But yeah bYE-

[thewitchandtheassassin]

Love Never Does (Kara Danvers x Reader)

Prompt: Indigo: 25) “Look, I feel things when I’m with you, and it’s new and scary but I think I like it.” With Kara head over heels for the reader

Words: 2576

Warnings: None?

A/N: Yep, I did another color one when I should be doing other things. I’m sorry. But I liked this prompt so here we are.

-X-

Kara’s hands trembled and she nervously wrung them as she waited for you and the rest of the “Superfriends” to show up. Game Night was a big deal and no one ever missed unless things were going horribly wrong so all she had to do right now was wait.

It was unusual for her to be so nervous about something as simple as Game Night, but tonight was special. Well, maybe special. It might be a total disaster. She didn’t really know but she prayed to Rao that everything worked out in her favor because if it blew up in her face, she’d be heartbroken.

Tonight was going to be the night she admitted she had feelings for you.

She was going to wait for the games to end and the others to leave (you were always the last to go, always volunteering to stay and help clean up) and then she was - hopefully - going to sit you down and tell you how she felt. It was a scary thing to do, but she was determined to get it all out in the open.

The first knock on the door had her moving at an inhuman speed. You were the only one who ever knocked, stating every time she said something that you didn’t just want to barge in.

“It’s rude, Kara,” you would laugh. “I get why Alex can do it but I’m not Alex.”

She threw the door wide and you jumped back, startled by her sudden presence. Your fist was still raised to knock but it fell to your side.

“Hi,” Kara greeted shyly, biting her lip as she looked you over.

“Hey,” you smiled, walking up to the superhero and wrapping your arms around her waist. You hugged her briefly and it left Kara wanting to pout. She wished you would have held on longer.

“How was work, Ms. Pulitzer Winner?” you asked, stepping into the threshold of her apartment.

Kara beamed, padding after you. “It was great! I met an alien who runs an animal shelter and donates so much money to other non-kill shelters to help them stay in business. She was so sweet and her animals were so cute. I almost adopted a cat but my landlord would have killed me.”

Your chest warmed at the sight of Kara’s innocent expression and the admiration in her eyes. You adored her and her genuineness. She was too good for Earth but God you were so glad to have met her.

“I’m glad,” you replied honestly, “Maybe you could take me to the shelter some time and show me around? I’ve been wanting to get a pet and my landlord doesn’t care. You could help me pick one out and, of course, you’d be able to come see them whenever.”

Kara paused. Not only did this sound like a date but the idea of sharing a pet with you made her heart pound in her chest. Maybe tonight wouldn’t go badly at all.

“T-that sounds great!” Kara squeaked, her cheeks going crimson.

You didn’t understand Kara’s blush but you found it precious all the same.

“How was things in the lab?” Kara inquired, rubbing her hands over her cheeks to will the blood away.

You were Lena’s lead scientist at L-Corp and honestly, you loved your job. You were in charge of projects and helping the other scientists if they slammed into a mental wall. It was the best job you could think of and you wouldn’t change it for the world.

Plus it had brought you so wonderful friends whom you wouldn’t trade for anything.

“Oh, things are going. A couple of the guys are stuck on this formula and I’ve been trying to help them but we’re all a little confused it seems.”

Kara chewed her lip. “The next time you’re free you could bring it by and I might be able to help. I was supposed to go into the science guild on Krypton and your science on Earth isn’t really advanced so maybe I could help you solve your mystery.”

Grinning, you threw your arms around Kara and squeezed. “Thank you! It’s been days and we’re still lost,” you admitted.

Kara relished your arms around her and the way your scent lingered even as you let go. “You’re welcome, (Y/N). You know I’d do anything for you,” she said thoughtlessly, her eyes widening the moment she realized what she said.

Your brow arched at the admittance but before you could say anything, the door flew open and Alex announced herself loudly, Kelly not too far behind shaking her head.

You waved at the newcomers and took the beer from Alex’s arm, snagging a bottle as you set the box on the counter. You cracked it open and sipped, eyeing Kara as she grabbed Alex’s wrist and tugged her towards her bedroom, leaving you and Kelly bewildered.

“Do you know what that was about?” Kelly wondered.

“No idea,” you shrugged.

-X-

“What do you mean you’re telling (Y/N) how you feel? How do you feel?” Alex questioned, confusion shining in her eyes.

“I think I’m in love with her,” Kara whispered, her arms wrapped around her waist.

Alex was stunned. She prided herself on knowing Kara but she had obviously missed something. “You love her?”

Nodding, Kara stared imploringly at Alex. She was silently begging her to understand.

“Come here.” Alex beckoned Kara over and embraced her, rubbing her little sister’s back. “I’m proud of you for admitting it. I’m sorry I didn’t pay more attention. (Y/N) is great and you two would make the cutest couple. Well, second to Kelly and me but still,” Alex teased.

With a watery laugh, Kara nodded. “I hope it all works out. I’m so nervous,” she mumbled.

“It will,” Alex said confidently. “(Y/N) would be stupid not to feel the same and we both know she is not stupid.”

Kara heard the door opening and the rest of the group pouring into her apartment. She let go of Alex and wiped the tears that gathered in her eyes away. “Well, everyone’s here.”

“Then let’s go party!” Alex grinned, leading Kara from the bedroom and back into the living room.

Kara found you chatting with Brainy and Nia, discussing Dreamer’s latest heroics. You were always so intrigued by the notion of heroes and knowing two of them just made you wish you were one. It also made you worry - a lot. These heroes were your friends; you wanted them safe.

Lena and James were standing in the corner, their break up still fresh though it was obvious they were trying to work out their problems so that it wouldn’t affect the dynamic of the group. Kelly was nearby, secretly listening to the former couple talk. She couldn’t help it; James was her brother and Lena was her friend.

As Kara joined you, your arm instinctively came around her and you hugged her momentarily before looking at her. “You okay?”

Kara nodded, her palms sweating and heart racing. “Y-Yeah! I’m fine.” She smiled, hoping to hide her nerves. “What do you think we should play first?”

“Not Monopoly,” J’onn piped up from the kitchen, a drink in his hand. “I refuse to play that again with Lena.”

Heading her name, Lena’s head snapped around and she playfully glared at J’onn. “You just don’t want to lose again.”

“You’re right,” J’onn agreed with a shrug.

Snickering silently, you and Nia shared a look.

“I think we should play Scrabble,” Nia suggested.

You nodded. “Definitely.”

In a room full of brilliant people, Scrabble was such an interesting endeavor, considering there were three scientists, a former DEO Director, three journalists, a psychologist and a brainiac from a different time. The board was always full of strange words that would have left most people scratching their heads.

“We should do teams,” you gasped, “Do you know how cool that would be?”

“I call Nia,” Brainy announced immediately, touching his girlfriend’s arm.

“Kelly!” Alex shouted, wildly gesturing for the woman to join her on the chair.

Smirking, you latched onto Kara’s bicep and batted your eyes at her. “Wanna be my partner?”

Swallowing drily, Kara nodded. “Sounds like fun,” she murmured, almost breathless. She wanted to be your partner in more ways than one but this was a good start.

“I call J’onn,” Lena said from across the room, stepping away from her ex. “I believe we could have a spectacular partnership.” She winked at the older man and he chuckled, accepting the offer with a raise of his cup.

James sighed. “I guess I’m on my own,” he muttered irritably, though he couldn’t blame Lena for ditching him.

Kara hurriedly set up the game, ignoring the shake of her hands as she put out the pieces. Kelly, ever observant, noticed but Alex’s quick jerk of the head kept her from asking. You settled on the couch, waiting for your partner to join you and watched the others pair up.

Tonight was going to be awesome.

-X-

No one was surprised that you and Kara won - or that Lena and J’onn came in second. Both of your vocabularies were spectacular and it made sense that you two would conjure such words out of nothingness.

None of you, however, had realized how late it had gotten. The game had lasted way longer than you’d anticipated and now the others were planning to leave. Lena first, since she had to be up so early though James and J’onn weren’t far behind.

“Are you sure you don’t need any help?” Nia asked, staring at the empty chip bowls and drinks scattered about.

“Don’t worry, Nia, we’ve got this,” you assured her, gathering up some of the bottles near you.

Nodding, Nia hugged Kara before dragging Brainy out of the apartment.

Alex lingered by the door, her hand clasped in Kelly’s. “I’ll see you tomorrow for breakfast, right?”

Kara hesitated and Alex amended her question. “I’ll see you unless something comes up?”

Nodding firmly, Kara waved at her sister before the door slammed closed behind her.

The apartment was silent yet it wasn’t uncomfortable. You and Kara simply worked around each other. You knew Kara could do this by herself in seconds but she never rebuffed your help so you always stayed. You didn’t mind, though. Spending time with Kara was your favorite part of any day.

Once things were finally in place and the trash was tossed, you peered at the door. “I guess I should be going,” you remarked, a little sad to leave this wonderful woman’s presence.

“A-actually, can you stay for a minute? I was hoping we could talk. I mean, if you can’t that’s okay too. You might have plans or something and I didn’t think about that...” Kara would have continued rambling on, but you grabbing her hand and leading her towards the couch stopped her word-vomit.

“Is everything okay?” you asked, concerned by the terror swirling in ocean eyes. “You’ve seemed a little off all night.”

Kara stared at your connected hands, the words dying on her tongue as she reveled in your warmth. She had so much she wanted to say yet she couldn’t get it out. Usually if she was scared or anxious, she wouldn’t shut up but in this moment, she had no idea what to say.

“Kara?” you prompted, slowly pulling your hand away.

Before you could fully inch back, her hand was in yours again, fingers tangled together as she struggled to find the right thing to say. Seeing her in such turmoil, you stayed quiet, your thumb stroking the back of her hand comfortingly as you waited. It was obvious something of importance was bothering her; you just didn’t know what.

Kara inhaled sharply, the dam holding her back finally breaking as words spilled forth. “I think I have feelings for you. Wait,” she shook her head, panic in her voice, “I know that I have feelings for you. You’re my favorite person. When your name shows up on my phone, my heart feels like a hummingbird got trapped and when I see you I feel like I’m flying - and I know what that feels like! You’re my favorite partner at Game Night and when you leave, you take a part of me with you. I think you’re so beautiful and smart and funny and sweet and I don’t want to spend time with anyone as much as I want to spend it with you...” she trailed off, your stunned expression terrifying her.

“Kara...” you didn’t know what to say, completely blown away by her admissions.

“Look, I feel things when I’m with you, and it’s new and scary but I think I like it because I like you. I think I’m in love with you, (Y/N). And it’s okay if you don’t feel the same, but -”

You threw yourself at the superhero, catching her by surprise. Slamming into her felt like hitting a soft-fleshed, steel-muscled brick wall but you didn’t care. All you wanted was Kara’s lips on yours - now.

A noise of surprise escaped Kara when your mouth crashed into hers, her arms encircling your waist. When she realized what was happening, Kara’s eyes slipped closed and she reciprocated the affection presented eagerly, her lips moving against yours as you poured everything into it.

You didn’t know if you could call this love - not yet - but you cared about Kara in a way that was definitely not platonic. You often fantasized about kissing Kara, late at night when no one was around, but you’d never wanted your affections to get in the way of your friendship so you had tried burying them.

Maybe you should have said something after all.

“I like you too,” you whispered between the brushing of your lips.

Blood rushed to Kara’s head and a dopey grin tugged at the edges of pillow-soft flesh. “Really?”

You nodded, your forehead against hers. “Really really.”

“Oh,” Kara breathed, unable to form a coherent thought.

You giggled, pressing a kiss to Kara’s reddened cheek.

“That’s good,” she nodded, her head bobbing awkwardly.

Smiling, you leaned back, staring into those eyes you could stare into for days. “How about we get breakfast in the morning? Just you and me?”

Kara nodded enthusiastically, already planning an apology text to Alex in her head. She looked so adorable that you couldn’t help kissing her again. And again. And again.

By the fourth parting of your lips, you noticed you’d somehow managed to end up on Kara’s lap, your legs on either side of her on the couch. Kara’s strong hands gripped your waist, her chest heaving despite not really needing that much oxygen. She was staring at you like you held the moon and stars in your hand and it was so empowering - yet so humbling.

“Stay the night?” Kara requested imploringly. “Please, nothing has to happen. I just want to cuddle.”

You smiled. “You’re so cute,” you cooed, undoing her ponytail so that you could card your fingers through her blonde locks. “Cuddles sound good.”

“Yay!” Kara swept you up into her arms, earning a squeal of surprise as your legs wrapped around her torso and your hands flew up to her neck.

Love was a big word - one you couldn’t say yet - but it wouldn’t take long.

Love never does.

[themetaphorgirl]

Caitlin! That DAOB update?? It broke my heart, thanks! But in a good way, too, because the story is just immaculate and never fails to put a smile on my face (even if the topics that you touch aren't light). James and Alex are just precious, and I love how sweet they are with each other. The domestic vibes were so strong when James met baby Spencer, and omg my heart when it comes to that poor kid. AND OH MY GOD THAT LAST PART. HIS NAME CHANGE? IM GONNA CRY -🥥

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THE NAME CHANGE MOMENT FOR SO LONG AHHHHH!!!!!!!

I can’t wait to write all the domestic family vibes. it’s going to be wonderful. (also angsty?? but definitely delightful.)

[chrancecriber]

1.FM - Chillout Lounge Radio (January 02, 2023)

23:57 Tina Dico - Break of Day (The Stella Polaris Allstars Remix) 23:53 Lemon SOL - Beautiful Morning (Piano Cafe Chillout to Ibiza Del Mar) 23:46 Schwarz & Funk - Remando Al Viento 23:42 Zero 7 - in the Waiting Line 23:36 Gelka Feat. Phoenix Pearle - Million Nights 23:30 Phonosynthese - Traumzauberwald 23:25 Nujazzy - on a Sunday Morning (Facebook Affair Mix) 23:18 4tunes - Twenty Eight Times (Beach Lounge Del Mar Mix) 23:12 Silent Poets - Moment Scale 23:06 Calido - El Calor (Patrick Marsh Chill out Mix) 23:02 Afterlife - Espalmador 22:54 Chicane - Low Sun 22:50 Caia - Remembrance 22:45 Mercer - Scandal 22:40 Chilloutlounge - Track 8 22:37 Tall Paul vs Inxs - Precious Heart 22:33 Susana & Dark Matters With Eller van Buuren - Home 22:28 Cafe Chillout People - Cafe Del Mar Sunset - Lounge of Love Mix 22:22 The Sura Quintet - Lampedusa (Sunset Session) 22:18 Direct to Dreams - Adagio for Strings Barber Remi 22:14 Gelka - Os Pastores da Noitte 22:08 Fenena Garcia Mijas - Anja (50 Sunset Classic Lounge Edit) 22:03 Liedschatten - Red Blossom 21:57 One Minds Eye Feat. Elsieanne - Shiva 21:53 Nightmares on Wax - so Here We Are 21:49 The Solid Doctor - Bless the Herb 21:44 Gary B - Set Me Free 21:39 Mandrave & Miyagi - Asian Lights 21:35 Moon Tribe - Moon Tribe 21:26 Chilloutlounge - Track 2 21:20 Soft Wave - Plenitude Part 2 21:16 Verbal Kint Feat. Judie Jay - Break My Dreams (Original Live Mix) 21:11 Ravi Costes - Lion Sleeps - Cafe Groovera Hotel Bar Del Mar Mix 21:06 Rhodescreen - Peace System (Original Mix) 21:00 Afterlife & Lux - Jello 20:54 The Psychoflowers - Bodytalk (Sex on the Beach Mix) 20:49 Sofa Sweeper - the Sad Side of the Street (Mellow Guitar Mix) 20:45 Triangle Sun - Beautiful 20:39 Zero 7 - Space Between, The 20:35 Amethystium - Berceuse 20:29 Royksopp - What Else Is There? 20:24 The Sura Quintet - Relax in Sura 20:18 James Bright - Be 20:17 Costes - De-Phazz - No Jive 20:12 Peter Pearson - It’s in the Stars (Original Mix) 20:07 Gary B - Love Rain Down 19:59 Ibiza - Ibiza Blues Swing 19:55 Robin Butler - Gymnopedie No.1 (Smooth Mix) 19:46 Krivi - Adriatic 19:40 Alex Cortiz - Six Feat Under 19:37 Michael de Kooker - My Sweet Dani 19:30 Dj Disse - Walk on the Wild Side 19:22 Solid Sessions - Janiero (Chiller Twist Blue Line Remix) 19:17 Mastermind - Wanna Give You Shelter 19:10 Rediophonic - Desert Wind 19:04 Talvin Singh - Traveller 19:00 Chungking - Voodoo 18:55 Jazzy Pecada - Slow Down 18:46 Puff Dragon - Skin As Soft (Soft As Silk Remix) 18:40 Penelope - Wings 18:30 Moby - the Lonely Night (Moby’s January 14th Mix) Ft Mark Lanegan 18:26 Jens Buchert - Sunrider 18:23 Zino & Tommy - - Ain’t Feel Noth 18:18 Moroccan Blonde - Mirage 18:12 Bedroom Surfer - Make It Happen ( Meet Her at Costa Del SOL Mix) 18:09 Weekend Players - Higher Ground 18:05 Ebb - Im All Made Music 17:57 Toka Kakabadze - Urban 17:49 Unknown - Unknown 17:43 Mobymusic - Whispering Wind 17:37 No Logo - This City Never Sleeps 17:31 Jess & Jess - Cute 17:29 Kurt Hummel - Hermigua 17:21 Leama & Moor - Coming of Age 17:16 Va - After the Moon 17:11 Amethystium - Calantha 17:08 K Vassiliadis Ft Marien - Den Efiges Lepto (Dub Mix) 17:03 4tunes - Statements 16:58 Laid Back - People (Parsberg Mix) 16:54 Lemon SOL - Beautiful Morning (Piano Cafe Chillout to Ibiza Del Mar) 16:48 Lustral - Everytime (A Man Called Adam Mix) 16:43 Kitty the Bill - Cabriolet Tour 16:36 Omni Trio - Native Place 16:29 Joey Fehrenbach - Delicate 16:25 L’art Mystique - Le Jardin Secret 16:18 Machomovers - Smooth Operator 16:13 Réve de Cabaret - Trust Me 16:07 Bright and Beautiful - Night Rains (Sound of Ibiza Mix) 16:02 Gelka Feat. Phoenix Pearle - Being You 15:58 Eighty Mile Beach - There Are No Angels Found in Nature (Thievery Corporation Mix) 15:54 Vanegas - Te Voy a Querer 15:50 Maximus - Mystery of the Seven Chakras 15:45 New Beginning - Another Day 15:41 Marc C. Griso - Sex, the First Time 15:32 Deep-Dive-Corp. - Relaxer 15:29 Dragon Lounge - Saigon Sundown (Asia Cut) 15:23 Vargo - Get Back to Serenity 15:19 Jjos - Body & Soul 15:14 Farbor Resande Mac - Stockholmsnatt 15:10 Kitty the Bill - Mister Mista 15:00 Puff Dragon - Qi Gong 14:54 Dos Hombres - the Alkemyst 14:48 Kid Coconutz - She Contemplates the Beach 14:44 Chillwave - Massage Del Mar (Beach Cafe Mix) 14:39 Guardner - Low Summer Frequenencies 14:36 Mark Moon - to Another World 14:29 Jerome Isma-Ae - Underwater Love 14:25 Triangle Sun - Diamond 14:19 Millenia Nova - Beautiful 14:15 The Diventa Project - Jazz Room 13 (Mazelo Nostra Chill Mix) 14:10 Smood - Enjoy the Silence 14:05 Lifeforce / Lifeforce (20 - 20 Vision Remix) 14:00 Luminous Feat. Julie Harrington - Let You In 13:53 Dab - Have a Smoke 13:47 Koru - I Believe 13:42 Andrew Cope - Anything That Feels 13:38 Afterlife - a Little Bit of Love 13:33 Ascension - for a Lifetime (Lustral’s Sunset Mix) 13:28 Coastline - Adriatic Sea - DJ Lounge Del Mar vs. Milews Ambience Mix 13:22 Nautic - Freedom of the Floor (Open Space Remix) 13:17 Afterlife & Chris Coco - Home 13:12 Naoki Kenji - Endless 13:07 Chill Air - Autumn’s Back 13:02 Soleil Fisher - Beautiful Nights in Ibiza (Tribute to Cafe Del Mar Mix) 12:56 The Realm - This Is Not a Breakdown (Chilled) 12:50 Mark’s & Henry’s - the Making 12:44 Bangralution Hippies - the Last Chill Resort - Singh Space Night Mix 12:40 Dr. Meaker - Need Love 12:35 Green Lemon Feat Magica Fe - 11 O Clock (Pure Beach Cut) 12:27 Bent - Swollen (Napoleon Remix) 12:22 Good Chillaz - No Motion (Jazz Relax Mix) 12:16 Wharmton Rise - the Abyss 12:12 Supreme Beings of Leisure - Ghetto 12:05 Royspop - Summer Nights (Luxury Deluxe Del Mar Mix) 12:00 Caia - Heavy Weather 11:53 Boot Cut Rockers Feat. Mica Wanner - Sunflowers 11:47 Frontera - a Baia 11:43 Morcheeba - the Sea 11:39 Ben Leela - Dreaming a Dream 11:34 Various - Las Brisas 11:28 Bright and Beautiful - Night Rains - Sound of Ibiza Mix 11:24 York - Bye Bye Baby (Chill out Mix) 11:20 Nera & Felix - Del Mar 11:14 Dj - Skorpy - Circle of Life 11:10 Pacific Coast Academy - Extreme Ways 11:04 Forerunners - Lifecycle (Forerunners Offshore Ambient Mix) 10:54 Energy 52 - Cafe Del Mar (Michael Woods Remix) 10:49 Pusteblume - Cold As Ice (Beautiful Chillout Mix) 10:44 Gxr and Kathie Talbot - 5 A.m. 10:38 Blank and Jones Ft M Francis - Someone Like You 10:34 Ashley Height - Painkillers 10:29 Avenue Joy - Clean Sheets ( Sunrise to Sunset Mix) 10:24 Atalanta - Autumn Sky 10:22 Dave Neri - Emperor’s Theme (Outro) 10:18 Leaking Shell - Easy G 10:11 Miss Caramelle & Miguel Lando - Behind the Horizon (Lounge Del Mar Mix) 10:04 Linden - Seaside (Doerfler Remix) 10:00 Trinah - Let’s Stay Together 09:54 Shivana Faction - Talking in Whispers 09:48 Polished Chrome - Your Shoes (Original Mix) 09:42 Frontera - Rouge 09:39 Synthetic Substance - Resignation 09:33 Listening Deluxe - Guitar Dreams (Short Aqua) 09:29 Missy Higgins - Nightminds (Dave Higgins Remix) 09:22 Chicane - Saltwater 09:19 Nightmares on Wax - Nights Interlude 09:15 Willie Blake - Classical Gas 09:11 Shapeshifters - Lola’s Theme (Lola’s Lounging Mix) 09:05 D&m Fundation - Relaja Tu Mente 09:00 Avalona - Empty Streets 08:54 Cdm - Many Rivers to Cross 08:49 O Sevag and L Patey - Cahuita 08:43 Dj Lounge Del Mar - Sentosa Beach Cafe - Tribute to Cafe Del Mar Guitar Mix 08:37 Solanos - Calades Cubells 08:32 Blue Six - Love Yourself 08:26 Jeff Bennet’s Lounge Experience Feat. Alexandra - Sympathy 08:20 Katcha - Touched by God (Katcha’s Quiet Storm Mix) 08:14 Jean Thibault - Trip to Infinity 08:08 Synthetic Substance - Unreal 08:02 Noel - Chalito - Ibiza Chillhouse Lounge Mix 07:57 Cafe Americaine - L’amour 07:50 Chicane - Offshore 07:46 Thievery Corporation - Transcendence 07:38 Daniele Nacci - Aurora Borealis 07:34 Liedschatten - Seaside (Original Mix 2006) 07:27 Noise Boyz - Daydreams of the Sparrow 07:22 Ohm G & Bruno - One 07:16 Nimino - the Back of Your Hands (Ft. Ashe) 07:12 Peter Pearson - a Dreams That Never End 07:06 Kid Stone Feat. Lovely Laura - Rio 07:01 J*s*t*a*r*s - Tripping the Light Fantastic 06:57 Ceci Low - Ceci Low 06:50 Musikk - Sunset Chill 06:43 Eliya - New Earth 06:40 Guru Dawn - Twin Peaks (Sunset Boulevard Mix) 06:37 Anakelly - Under My Thumb 06:32 Miro - the Cure 06:28 Future Loop Foundation - Everything As It Should Be 06:23 Ralph Hildenbeutel - Hommage a Noir 06:16 Sin Plomo & Torsten Stenzel - Sweet Suffering 06:10 Phillip Ashmore - Luxury Living 06:04 Ganga - Hi-Fi Love 05:59 Chillwalker - Sunday Morning (Future Break Mix) 05:52 Atjazz - Peanuts 05:45 Simon Le Grec - Got to Be Love (Ambient Mix) 05:38 Massive Gold - Follow Me (Feat Jaywee) (Chillout Del Mar Cafe Instrumental) 05:34 Moodorama - I Think It’s... 05:29 Jazz 4 - When You Touch Me 05:24 Blank & Jones Feat. Cathy Battistessa - Miracle Man (Beached Mix) 05:19 Polished Chrome - Soundsystem 05:14 Cameo Culture - Told You so (Original Mix) 05:08 Cats Love Dogs - Sunpearls (Paradise Lounge) 05:04 Purity Ring - Obedear 04:58 Manoa - Jumaira Drive 04:55 Urban Phunk Society - Spring 2 Summer 04:49 Remote - Postcard 04:45 Dj Pippi Presents Pasion Flamenca - Fatal Fatal 04:40 Joey Fehrenbach - Don’t Wake Me 04:30 Deep-Dive-Corp. - Bassic (Flow Mix) 04:24 Klangstein - Deep Dive (Original Mix) 04:20 Jose Ramos - Alone Again 04:14 Yagya - the Phantom of Us 04:11 Bissen Ft Victoria Gross - Like I Do (Chill Mix) 04:05 Hannah Ild - Right Beside You 03:59 Future Loop Foundation - Monikas Summer 03:55 Mystery of Soul - It’s a Shame 03:51 Blue Six - Pure 03:45 Lounge Worship - Above All (Instrumental) 03:41 Mahoroba - Faire on Tour (Jazzmatic Lounge Mix) 03:35 Joey Fehrenbach - Ghosts 03:30 The Essence - Serpentine 03:23 Low Motion Disco - Love Love Love (Soft Rocks Remix) 03:16 Humat - 3.2 Bedrock 03:13 Emapea - Laka 03:08 James Bright - Little Things 03:03 A Guy Called Gerald Feat. Louise Rhodes - Humanity 02:59 For - for Want of Her 02:56 K. Vio & Tim Tonic - out of Atlantis 02:50 Michael Ruland - Embrace in Space (Progressive Chillout Mix) 02:45 Peter Linski Experience - Everything Flows 02:36 Va - Soar Angelic 02:33 Oh Wonder - Technicolour Beat 02:27 Ficci - Edge of the Night 02:21 Thomas Lemmer - I Like It 02:16 Soleil Fisher - Beautiful Nights in Ibiza - Tribute to Cafe Del Mar Mix 02:09 Muki - Track 1 02:05 Mastermind - Empty Road 02:00 Orange Music - for Your Pleasure (Open Mind Mix) 01:54 Jjos - Falling 01:47 Jazzanova - Bohemian Sunset 01:41 The Man Behind C. Feat.debora Vilchez - Fluye 01:37 Marc C. Griso I Antoni Just Palleja - Spring in Barcelona 01:33 Dj Destruction - Symphony to Arcadia 01:27 Sine - Flying (Original Mix) 01:22 Bebel Gilberto - Aganjú (John Beltran Mix) 01:15 Alpha X - Nocturnal Trip 01:10 Peter Pearson - Bossalove 01:04 Angels Landing - Salt Tank 00:59 Gregorian - Join Me 00:54 Miyagi - Kyoto Garden 00:50 No Logo - Matter of Time 00:44 James Bright - Set Me Free 00:36 Freddy Fresh - Shijinku 00:33 Claes Rosen & Natalie Peris - Stay 00:29 Jamlimmat - Higher (Feat Crystal) 00:24 Louie Vega Pres. Luisito Quinteri Ft. Anane - Our Love 00:20 Cold Blue - Underwater Love 00:14 Koolsax - Evasion 00:09 Miraflores - Waves of Love 00:05 Plasma - Spring

[energywen]

Fear TWD signing at SDCC 2019

I also met Alycia Debnam Carey, the other love of my life, last Friday at SDCC.

If you want to know how to get the signing, I’ve said it on Twitter here. 

So the signing started with Gale Anne Hurd and Michael Satrazemis, who were both surprised to know that there’re viewers for FearTWD all the way from Singapore. They asked who I was there for, and I am like “Alycia” and Gale replied, “I should have figured it out with that flowers in your hands.” LOL Gale then called out to Karen David, who was next, and she was like “Karen, she came from Singapore!!”

Karen was such a sweetie. She had been to Singapore some time ago for filming, and she was gushing about my country to me. But me, being retarded, I was like “Why do you like Singapore?!” and Karen laughed so hard. She was like “What’s not to like!!? It’s pretty, the trees are gorgeous, and that Gardens place I went was just astounding. And the food is soooooo good.” And I was like “Well, I agree with the food part.” LOL  

Rubén Blades and Alexa Nisenson were next. Rubén listened in the conversation and was a dearie. My time with Alexa was cut because the crew were filming her for something. 

Austin Amelio and Jenna Elfman are adorable! Austin studied in the Singapore American School previously (I didn’t know that?!) and he was such a joy to talk to! 

Austin: Where do you stay in Singapore Me: In the West! Austin: Where in the west? Me: What, you want to know the exact area? Austin: YES! I stayed in Singapore for years! Me: In Jurong! Austin: I KNOW JURONG. Damn, that’s far from my school Me: YOU REALLY KNEW?! Austin: DO YOU THINK I WAS LYING TO YOU?!

Jenna was laughing at our conversation and I didn’t get a lot of time with her. 

Maggie tho, she’s such a sweetie T_T She was half-standing throughout the autograph because she just kept standing up to take photos with the fans. Usually, the cast just reaches over to take the photo but she stood up so much for everyone. I kind of had a 3-way chat with Danay and Maggie LOL 

Me: I came from Singapore! Maggie: I heard when you’re speaking to them (points to Austin)! Danay: YOU DID NOT Me: I did!  Maggie: Are you here for our Alycia?  Me: I...am.  Danay: And you’ve flowers for her! She loves flowers! Maggie: She (me) would know (laughs) Me: And it’s her birthday soon so... Danay: YES IT IS!  Me: I didn’t mean to keep talking about Alycia... Maggie: It’s fine. You flew all the way here for her afterall.  Danay: How long was the flight?  Me: The flight was 18.5 hours and I’ve a 6hour layover so it’s like 24 hours. Maggie: WHAT?! Me: Yeah, it was a long flight. Danay: That’s not just a long flight. It’s crazy.  Me: Could I get a picture...? Maggie: Of course! We’re not letting you go without one. Gosh, 24hour flights! 

I ended up with some Danay-Maggie-Me photos. Didn’t get them individually. I helped a new friend (Alex!!) get her shots with Maggie too. 

By the time we got the photos, Alycia was waiting already!! I was shaking so badly and just couldn’t really talk. 

Danay: ALYCIA! SHE FLEW FROM SINGAPORE TO SEE YOU! Alycia: WHAT? Danay: HER FLIGHT WAS INSANE. Me: I...I came from Singapore. Danay: And she has flowers for you! Me: I...I...got the flowers for you. Happy Birthday! (gives the flowers) Alycia: No way, come here, I’ve to give you a hug. (THE HUG MY FRIENDS, THE HUG T_T) 

Alycia: I love the flowers! They are so pretty. (SHE EVEN SMELL THE FLOWERS T_T) How long was your flight? Me: It was 18.5 hours... Danay: With a 6hour layover!

Danay was such a sweetie T_T Look at her just witnessing what me and Alycia were talking, and Alycia was truly surprised and shocked at me being there.

Alycia: I can’t believe you came all the way from so far.  Me: I was worried that there wouldn’t be a chance to meet you, and I am glad I won this autograph thingy.  Alycia: I am so glad YOU won this. I’m so blessed to have met you today!  Me: No I’m blessed!! I’ve liked you for years and I can’t believe I am meeting you now! Alycia: Thank you! You’re too sweet. What’s your name? Me: Wenting! Alycia: Wenting! I’ve to write your name.  (ALYCIA REACHES OVER TO FLIP MY CON BADGE SO SHE CAN SPELL MY NAME ON THE POSTER T_T) Me: I love you so much Alycia: Me too, sweetie. I love you. Let me write you a message here too. Me: (dying inside, screaming internally)  Alycia: It’s a joy to meet you.  Me: I can’t even put to words what it felt to finally meet you.  (Alycia laughed. I think I semi judged myself for what I’ve said too.)

Me: I don’t know if I’d ever see you again in person but I love you.  Alycia: Love you too!

And then I walked to Lennie James and said hi, and...

Alycia: Wenting wait! Did we get a picture together yet?! Me: OH NO WE DID NOT Alycia: (laughs) You’re not leaving without a photo together! Oh and the flowers! 

AND SHE STOOD UP FOR THE PHOTO T_T Taking up to make sure the flowers are in the photo too T___T 

I’d have never get the photo with her if Alycia hadn’t been the one who asked if we had a photo! I helped my friend get a photo with Alycia after. I remembered Alex saying “Since you’re already standing, can I get a photo too?” And it was so funny. Maggie photobombed her photo and was so proud of it. 

But can I just say, ALYCIA YOU’RE SO PRECIOUS T_T She could have easily let me gone off without the photo, without the extra trouble on her end, but she did not. T_T 

And I definitely bombed my time with Lennie and the showrunners because I am just so overwhelmed by Alycia and her kindness. I remembered Lennie saying “She’s a nice girl isn’t she?” when I first got to him after Alycia. I remembered telling the showrunners that I was there for Alycia and don’t kill her off. LOL They laughed and asked if I really came from Singapore, and I told them I’ve my passport in my backpocket. LOL 

...and then I met Alycia briefly again when they are leaving, but that’s for another post. This is too long already.