#jc who doesn’t even realise

[grapestones]

And, as someone who is fan of age gaps and the younger crushing on the older one, I would also love if Jiang Cheng found kid Levi and took care of him. Levi can fight with his feelings but once he accepts it, oh boy. Better conquer Jiang Cheng's heart before Jin Ling finds out

[missnight0wl]

Let’s talk about Elton Elderberry – and why he’s a total bitch

First of all, I want to thank @thedoodlecat because a lot of the ideas I’ll discuss were formed during our conversations. So, credit where credit's due!

Secondly, I want to make it clear from the start that it’s not quite a theory, meaning: I personally don’t believe Jam City might take the story in this direction. However, I believe that a lot of it might be a leftover of what’s the story supposed to be. And yes, it can also be explained by the writers having no idea what they’re doing, but on the other hand, it ties in with many interesting details from the past, mostly from Y5. And I still believe that year was super important for the narrative.

Now, without further ado, let’s move on to Elton. Spoilers up to Y7Ch56.

Ok, so the first thing that really bothers me about Elton Elderberry is that he was well aware of the Crown of Mneme, how dangerous it can be, and he had to at least suspect that it might be in the Sunken Vault – and for all those years, he did absolutely fucking nothing.

And it’s quite problematic because there’s no way he just… didn’t know about MC and the Cursed Vaults. At the beginning of Y3, MC told us that pretty much everyone could learn about it from the Daily Prophet. And we know that the Ministry was especially aware of it. Even if we ignore Moody’s involvement starting from Y6, first with Rakepick and then with Peregrine, we also had the Ministry sending Tofty to spy on MC during our O.W.L.s because of the Cursed Vaults. And honestly, I just don’t buy the explanation that Elton somehow… just didn’t hear about it. So, like, what the hell?

Now, I can hear you saying: “Oh, but of course Elton didn’t do anything because he wasn’t a character yet and Jam City probably just created him now!”. And you know what? That’s a totally valid remark and quite probable explanation. Still, I kept thinking about it anyway, and I quickly noticed another problem with Elton: how we actually learnt that he was directly involved in Ryusaki’s death. I mean, look at those scenes:

And then after our visit to the Archives:

(I just have to point out that he’s fucking grinning here…)

… and then:

Do you see the problem here??

Imagine this. You meet Steve. Steve tells you about the mother who died in a car accident with her two children. Sadly, she was the one who caused the accident because she was under the influence. Later you learn on your own that the said mother was a model parent, always there for her children despite having two jobs, actually sober during the accident, rarely drunk at all, and in fact, it was Steve who caused the crash. When confronted, Steve admits to everything and says he feels terrible about it and it haunts him every day. Would you believe Steve that he’s so sorry? BECAUSE I DEFINITELY WOULDN’T. In fact, I’d do everything to stay away from Steve.

Now, again, I’m aware that it might be simply JC’s incompetence in making a connection between the Crown of Mneme and Dai Ryusaki – even though it could’ve been easily done without Elton actively portraying Ryusaki as a bad guy. For example:

Elton: I advise you to avoid the Crown at all costs. MC: I wonder if it has anything to do with the Dark Scroll… Elton: You don’t mean Dai Ryusaki’s Dark Scroll, do you? MC: That dark wizard? Yes, I do. Why? Do you know anything about it too? Elton: *not answering right away and looking very ashamed instead, showing already that he doesn’t want to reveal the truth because of his loyalty to the Ministry, but also showing his guilt*

And yes, I know it wouldn’t be the first time JC didn’t see the simplest solutions in their writing. But as I was thinking about it more, I realised that if we assume that Elton indeed knew about MC and the Cursed Vaults all that time and did nothing on purpose, it’s both surprising and fascinating how many things start to add up. In this scenario, Elton would also want to portray Ryusaki as a bad guy. I know it doesn’t fully work currently because, in the end, it was Elton who let us go to the Archives, but I guess it’s possible that originally, we were supposed to learn the truth about Ryusaki in some different way. And either way, I have to point out that there’s something very off in this part of the story no matter what. I mean, let me ask you one question:

Why exactly Dai Ryusaki was killed?

Because if you think about it, it was never really explained… properly. Like, we keep using words like “miscommunication” or “misunderstanding”.

But… how the fuck can you kill somebody because of misunderstanding? I guess we’re supposed to interpret it as: “The International Confederation of Wizards thought Dai wanted to use his invention to do bad things while he was actually trying to destroy his invention once he realised it’s dangerous”. However, this interpretation doesn’t really make sense. Why? Look at Ryusaki’s notes we found in the Archives.

Ryusaki seems absolutely certain that once he destroys what he was about to destroy, it’s done. He accepted that his work would be no more after that. And that makes me believe that nobody else (or almost nobody) knew about his work. Because otherwise, he’d have to realise that someone might try to replicate his work, right? Or even force him to simply repeat it? Yet he’s not worried about it. And the thing is that Ryusaki was a very intelligent, reasonable, and conscious man. So… how the hell the International Confederation of Wizards knew anything to misinterpret Ryusaki’s intentions?

Well, what if there was someone other than Ryusaki who knew about his work after all? But Dai completely trusted that person, so that’s why he was so sure the whole thing would remain secret? What if that person happened to work at the British Ministry of Magic? What if this person was…

Elton “The Bitch” Elderberry?

Ok, so I know that everything I said so far is a big assumption, but I swear it does make sense, so please, bear with me. And I’ll actually start by summarising what I believe how it all began and then I’ll elaborate on each element because it’s gonna be easier for me that way.

So, I believe that Dai Ryusaki and Elton Elderberry were once good friends. They were both quite talented wizards, and while they had different goals in life, they realised at some point that the treasure from the Cursed Vaults might help them achieve that. Together, they created a group that we know as R. Unfortunately for Elton, Dai realised eventually that both his own invention and the Cursed Vaults themselves are dangerous, so he decided to quit. Elton didn’t like it, and he was afraid that Dai would try to stop him as well, so he decided to be proactive about it. Using his position as a Hit Wizard at the Ministry, he sold Dai out, claiming he’s a dangerous dark wizard. Elton kept R alive ever since, and he was waiting for MC to be born because MC is necessary to open the final Cursed Vault.

Of course, I assume that the original plans for the final Cursed Vault were different than what we saw in Y6. Also, from that point, I’ll keep calling Elton “Brelton” because:

BITCH + R + ELTON = BRELTON

… and I just think this distinction might be useful because, as I said, I don’t think it might still be true, yet it seems that Elton Elderberry will stay in the story anyway. Ok, but let’s talk about some details.

Dai’s and Brelton’s goals

As for Dai’s goal, it’s pretty straightforward. It’s basically said directly in the game: he wanted to help people with traumatic memories. What would be Brelton’s goal then? Well, let me remind you one note from R we found in Y5:

The interesting thing about it is that for the longest time, it was the only case where it was mentioned that R had any interest in immortality. As soon as the Dark Scroll was introduced, we only talked about R wanting knowledge. I even talked with my friend about how weird it is that the writers totally abandoned the immortality aspect (Bee, I’m not tagging you because I don’t want you to feel obliged to read this long-ass post, but if you’re reading it anyway: Hi! I’m talking about you!). In fact, I’m pretty sure that the word “immortality” wasn’t even used in the main story after that note from R – until our conversation with Elton in Y7Ch49:

And you know what? I don’t think it’s just a coincidence. Because it’s not even true! Every time we talked about Ryusaki’s potion, it was about mind-enhancing potion.

So… what if it’s the leftover of the original plans for Elton’s character? What if it’s Brelton who was all about immortality? And now, JC just looked at the notes made by Matt London and his team and simply put the immortality potion in there without thinking if it made sense. I realise it feels like another stretch, but I have to point out that Elton’s old age is a little sus – and they stress all the time how old he is. I mean, wizards do live longer than Muggles, but most of them don’t live over 300 years. (There’s actually the HP wiki page about it.)

And the thing is that from the story point of view, it wasn’t even necessary to make Elton this old. Sure, it adds some flavour with the reveal that he was actually there when Dai was killed, but on the other hand, he mentions every now and then that his memory is not the best anymore etc. So, wouldn’t it be better if MC met Elton's son or grandson, for example? Personally, I think it would, and that’s why I’m gonna assume for the rest of this analysis that R was always about “enlightenment and immortality”, and that Dai Ryusaki represented the first element while Elton Elderberry the second one.

Why they needed the Cursed Vaults?

Ok, so now that we know what they wanted in general, let’s try to figure out why they went after the Cursed Vaults – and as I mentioned already, I assume that the original treasure was actually… well, a thing. I admit that I wasn’t able to figure out what exactly it could’ve been, but I have some ideas about what properties the Treasure could have, based on Dai’s and Brelton’s goals.

This time, let’s start with Brelton because it’s a bit easier. Basically, I believe that Brelton managed to invent something that grants semi-immortality, but it’s not the perfect invention. Sure, he’s still alive and his mind is not in the worst condition, but still. So, I think that he believes that the Treasure could improve his invention by granting actual immortality and/or eternal youth.

It’s a bit more complicated with Dai because we have to consider multiple elements. First of all, we have the mind-enhancing potion. The recipe for it was hidden on the Dark Scroll which was confirmed by the notes found by MC in the Archives. But earlier, MC also mentioned “a device”, and then they read: “I can’t bear to destroy my life’s work, but I know that I must. The scroll has already been hidden”. So… what exactly was he about to destroy? If we want to stick to the legend told by Corey, it might’ve been about the already-prepared potion. He might’ve also been referring to his research in general and his notes or something. But then we have the Crown of Mneme… And that’s quite interesting because we actually know that it’s something he found in Greece – which, by the way, confirms that the Crown was not something placed in the Cursed Vaults originally (I’ll return to it in a moment).

Either way, to simplify it a little bit, I’m gonna assume that Dai’s invention was about the Crown and the potion - and that together was considered his “device”. What about the Treasure then? I see a couple of options.

Perhaps the Treasure would give more control over the Crown or allow to exchange of thoughts both ways. I mean, what we saw in the game looked like the wearer could only send their thoughts, but if Dai wanted to treat patients with traumatic memories, he probably wanted to extract those memories.

Perhaps the Treasure could permanently remove/destroy traumatic memories. Because I don’t think you can actually do it with Obliviate, for example. I might be wrong, but I feel that there is always a small chance that the memory would come back or simply leave some mark behind it.

How the Crown of Mneme ended in the Sunken Vault?

So… If Dai was so certain that his invention was gone and to be forgotten, and on top of that I claim that he didn’t want to have anything to do with the Cursed Vaults, then how the hell the Crown of Mneme ended in the Sunken Vault? Well, I guess I won’t surprise anyone at this point by saying that it was Brelton who was behind it. And the best thing is that we actually know that R was in the Sunken Vault in the past – and that’s thanks to the note found in the Weird Sisters TLSQ:

So, this is what I propose. Brelton got the Crown of Mneme before Dai’s death somehow. I don’t think that Dai would just give it to him because I assume they already fell apart at that point. Or perhaps Brelton lied to Dai and offered that he’d destroy the Crown? Either way, he probably wasn’t planning to destroy it (as it might be useful for him), and he continued his search for the Cursed Vaults. Unfortunately for him, once he got to the Sunken Vault, he realised he couldn’t do anything without the key. And now, the key might be the Gillyweed/Coral Key Rakepick took from us in Y4, or maybe it’s about the siblings – or it’s both (like in my version of the story). Anyway, the Treasure was unachievable, so Brelton used this opportunity to hide the Crown of Mneme and just left.

Ryusaki and the creation of the Cabal

Ok, but why I assume that Dai Ryusaki even knew about the Cursed Vaults, to begin with? I just explained how it was probably Brelton who put the Crown in the Sunken Vault, and we don’t really have anything to prove that Dai needed the Treasure to improve his invention. Well, yeah. But we have something else. Something that I find very exciting. See, during our first trip to Knockturn Alley, we visited also Flourish and Blotts where we found a Black Quill containing this message:

And for the longest time, I was just… absolutely stumped by it. I couldn’t come up with any decent theory as to who left that note. But now, I do strongly believe that it was left by Dai Ryusaki. Brelton was too greedy to get his immortality and too afraid of his own mortality to leave the Cursed Vaults and refused to listen to his friend that it’s too dangerous. The note also talks about “them”, so maybe R had some more members at that point already (but only Dai and Elton knew everything). And you know what makes it even more fascinating? We found this Black Quill in the book by Maerwynn Montfort who’s a totally original author mentioned only in this specific scene in HPHM. Interestingly, Maerwynn is a feminine name that is of Welsh origin that means “joy”. And coincidently, Dai is a Welsh masculine given name (which means “beloved”), a hypocorism of Dafydd or David, as well as a masculine Japanese given name. Like…

Are you kidding me??

I mean, ok, sure. It might be just a coincidence. But you have to admit that it’s a pretty damn odd coincidence. Maybe Maerwynn was someone from Dai’s Welsh part of the family or just a friend whom he met there? Or maybe it’s just a pseudonym or something. But either way, it might be hinting at some (“Welsh”) connection. And that’s why they were exchanging secret information!

Still, that’s not even all I finally realised about the note. Because I also believe that it confirms that the Cabal from Jacob’s notebook is a different group than R – and I think that it was Dai Ryusaki who started that group.

Ok, so I explained the whole idea in this post. It’s one of my shorter analyses so I recommend checking it out. But to put it even shorter, my problem with the note from Y5Ch15 was always that Jacob was confused about why the Cabal wanted to kill him.

But R was very open about threatening Jacob and especially his family, so… it shouldn’t be surprising at all. He might’ve been confused if he was doing everything R told him to do – but then it doesn’t make sense that R would want to kill Jacob and MC. I mean, after Duncan’s death, they clearly told him to continue his search.

So, I always interpreted the Cabal as a separate group who wanted to protect the Cursed Vaults by killing the siblings because the siblings are necessary to get to the Treasure. And if we join it with the note from Flourish and Blotts, it totally adds up. Dai realised that the Cursed Vaults were dangerous and wanted to stop R. Brelton wouldn’t listen, so Dai wanted to destroy the vault portrait which, assumingly, would make it impossible to get to the Portrait Vault. On top of that, he started the group that was supposed to make sure that nobody would ever get hurt by the Vaults by killing the siblings (who can get the Treasure). It was about the creation of the Cabal this whole time!

Brelton as the true leader of R

In general, I have to say that Brelton being the true leader of R just makes more sense. In this scenario, it’d also mean that Peregrine is just… a current face of the organisation. A puppet. And yes, I keep saying that I don’t believe that Perry was always planned to be a part of the story, so why do I even mention him? Well, to be completely honest, I’m willing to accept that Perry was planned along with Dai and Brelton’s story – just not as MC’s father. Because it makes sense that Brelton would want to keep his position at the Ministry, and if so, he’d probably need someone to (occasionally) represent R. And that could be Peregrine. In fact, we saw some moments when the leader of R was treated weirdly ambiguous. The first case is our conversation with Rakepick in Azkaban. And yes, I know that we didn’t know about Peregrine then yet, so it kind of makes sense to leave it more ambiguous, but I want to point out a specific thing Rakepick said.

Honestly, I was always confused by it because “the one behind it all” sounds like someone who also created R, at least in my opinion. On the other hand, we had hints in the past that R is a rather older organisation. Not to mention that Perry claimed that he joined R, meaning that R was R before the current leader joined them. Of course, it is possible that Perry lies. It is also possible that the title of R is simply given to each leader. But… I don’t know. Rakepick’s words sound to me like she is talking about only one person. However, if that one person is actually Brelton, it makes sense that he’s both the current true leader and the one responsible for creating the organisation.

My other issue is with Olivia’s memories. Because Rakepick is very clearly talking to someone from R in those scenes, but for whatever reason we never learn who it was.

So, what if it was actually supposed to be Brelton? And speaking of that, ever since we learnt that Olivia was working at the Ministry, I thought it was pretty suspicious, and I fully expected that R was controlling that. And what a coincidence that Elton became Olivia’s mentor for all those years…

Hell, it’d even make more sense why Verucca is so damn worried about Perry being cursed by Ryusaki’s amulet. Because if Brellton indeed betrayed Dai, then it could mean that it’s Brelton who’s the real target of that whole revenge plan. The curse might be simply generalising it because, well, it’s just a spirit that’s basically the essence of Ryusaki’s anger. But if Verucca knows about everything as a high-ranking member of R, then yeah, she’d try to stop Perry from hurting their dear leader Brelton.

And… that’s it!

Once again, like I said, I do not expect the game to confirm any of the things I discussed above. But that being said, I feel very confident about pretty much everything I said. And even though it took me months to finally write it all down, I have to say that putting it together was really fun and exciting. Who knows, maybe it’s the last time I feel like that about HPHM theory, at least when it comes to relatively new content. But even if so, I’m kind of glad that I got some semi-closure to the things that were bothering me.

[ninjakk]

Hi

This is more of fanon question but what do you think of stright boy wwx, who everyone knows he’s gay but him, doesn’t know his feelings even though he’s having sex with lwj.

And lwj still does shave sex with him even though he does think wwx is stright and won’t have feelings for him.

Hi Anon,

Wow, is this really a thing!? 🤔

I think they're reading a different book 🤣

Well my honest opinion would be that whoever thinks this really does not have much of an understanding of the characters in MDZS, or the plot for that matter. Whether this is something that some truly see in the novel or something they put in fanfic, it's just bizarre.

Firstly, only a few people made assumptions with regards to WWX's feelings towards LWJ. Really it was only the juniors who noticed something between them. JC was in denial the whole time (across both WWXs lives) until he couldn't deny it any longer - and even then he tried! Personally I think WQ noticed WWX acted differently around LWJ and at some point WN picked up on something between them as well. But bar that, most people wrongly thought the pair hated each other! So that's just wrong right from the start!

WWX is extremely emotionally intelligent, he understands people very well and that includes himself as well. Yes, he lies to himself and pushes his true feelings down at times - but this is a coping mechanism. He feels so deeply, his only way to cope about certain emotions that might bring him pain, is to play them down or convince himself they are different to what they are.

WWX is just trying to protect his heart. He lies to himself about his feelings for LWJ because to him, the latter wasn't interested. Yet WWX was still drawn towards him every time they met, because LWJ is the only one he's ever truly wanted. By the time WWX and LWJ have sex, WWX is more than sure of his feelings for LWJ! In fact just before all of this, WWX is so sure of his feelings he's absolutely terrified LWJ might not feel the same way.

So I think any idea of a fanon or fanfic WWX that is as emotionally dense as 'straight boy' WWX is, is just so far from the actual character, I don't see the point in them reading the novel, being a fan or writing fic using WWXs name if this is their take on him, as it's clearly not the character MXTX created.

As for LWJ having sex with this warped version of WWX, he simply wouldn't. As much as LWJ loves WWX, he would not have meaningless sex with him just because the latter 'doesn't mind'. Just looking at the end of chapter 95 and chapter 96, where WWX thinks LWJ has only just sobered up and is upset that they had sex. This scene should be enough to show anyone that this is not in LWJs character. WWX desperately tries to salvage their relationship because he loves LWJ so much he wants to be with him anyway he can. So he makes it out it was just something friends do! LWJ is so distraught at the possibility WWX didn't have romantic feelings for him, yet shared an extremely intimate moment with him anyway. How can anyone think he would just have sex with WWX if he thought WWX wasn't interested in him. It just wouldn't happen.

So again, I think that this fanon idea or whatever it is, is just so far from the truth it's just strange! Anyone who wants this to be canon should just go find another novel to read quite frankly!

It can take time to understand your sexuality and shaming a character who actually realised it pretty fast considering the circumstances, is just shallow and ironically makes them the "oblivious" ones they so often like to accuse WWX of being. It's obvious WWX would have realised his sexuality a lot sooner if LWJ had given him a little hint back when they were teens. Which isn't LWJ's fault of course, because people seem to forget he was coming to terms with his own feelings at the time as well! But if he'd given WWX a sign, he'd have been spurred on and pursued LWJ until they were a couple.

In WWX's own words:

"...If he doesn’t want me, I’ll bother him to the point that he does.”

Chapter 125 - Lotus Seed Pod extra, ExR

Although he wasn't fully prepared to accept what context the above proclamation was in, he still meant it! 🥰

I'm guessing you feel the same way about this obnoxious interpretation as well Anon, since you used the term fanon 😉 so that's a relief! Have a lovely day and enjoy the canon version of WWX and LWJ in all their true glory ❤️

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

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1. Hi hi hi! First off love this Tumblr so much! Second can you help me find a fic? It sort of starts off in the cave but instead of everyone escaping wwx, lwj, jc,and jz sort of meditate their golden cores together and become perma linked together. They become sworn brothers and are super close and cam even read each others minds I loved this fic and I need to start writing them down when I read them! THANK YOU!!!! @the-untamed-stole-my-heart​

FOUND! This one is Quartet series by WithBroomBefore (T, 41k, wangxian, soulbonds, fix it)

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2.  Hi!! I’ve been trying to find a fic I read months ago that I forgot to bookmark on Ao3 and was hoping someone might recognise it!

So it is set during the cloud recesses school arc, and Wei Wuxian is a dragon but only the jiang clan know, and are keeping it secret while they study. But Wei Wuxian, in his classic style can’t help but keep bothering Lan Zhan in his human form, so Lan Zhan gets a crush on him that way. But he also starts visiting him as a dragon at night and the elders are all up in arms about it because it means that Lan Zhan has been chosen by a great mythical beast and it’s a huge honour and stuff. But Lan Zhan doesn’t realise that they are the same person and ends up having to choose between them and turns down human Wei Ying, but this just devastates Wei Ying who doesn’t understand that he didn’t know they were the same person and feels like Lan Zhan has been toying with his feelings, and stops visiting as a dragon at night as well as avoiding him in human form. Later when the secret is revealed it’s all very dramatic, and they are engaged. I can’t remember loads of specifics, but I vividly remember dragon wei ying finding out the truth of what happened to Lan Zhans mother and going ape shit at the elders at some point. I’ve tried looking on Ao3 but there aren’t many docs tagged with DragonWeiYing, and I’m struggling! I don’t think it was complete when I read it but it could have been by now, please help me out!!!  @yeah-but-what-if-i-dont-tho​

FOUND?  ❤️flame and rust by cl410 (M, 35k, wangxian, Mojo’s bookmark)

FOUND?  no other cloud compares to you by ectocosme (M, 125k, wangxian, misunderstandings, identity issues, courting)

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3. Hey can you help me find a fic. I dont really remember the name or anything just this one scene. It is a post canon fic where a ton of people died because of a great flood and all the clans were called to help with the burial resentment etc. But bc of the flood all the infrastructure and bodies were hidden and the clans couldn't find the bodies fast enough and there woupd be building resentment. I think they said that of they couldnt find the bodies and give them proper burials it would be like a second burial mounds. So they had to call in Wei Wuxian who did his Yiling Laozu stuff and made the bodies walk to him and dig their own graves and bury themselves. He also helped the Lans deal with the resentment. And i remember everyone looked at him differently because they were like oh he really is the YLLZ and he is super powerful even without the seal.

FOUND!  Embers by xantissa (E, 38k, wangxian, LXC/WWX, LXC/WWX/LWJ, fuck or die, curses, polyamory) the scene mentioned happens in chapter 7

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4. Do you know the time travel fic where wwx returns and is Very Much Not Okay and everyone is concerned. I think one scene was when they were having lunch in the cloud recesses and wwx accidentally ate a dish with meat in it and had to run outside and be sick. @boyzcult​

FOUND?  Wish Me Luck by Starlight1395 (Not rated, 164kt, wangxian, time travel, fix it, PTSD)

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5. Hi, how are you doing? I tried to send a message, but my internet is not working well, so if this ask is repeated I am so sorry! I'm looking for a short fic (around 2k I think?), set in the Yiling Lazou times. Xue Yang had kidnapped lots of kids to bring as a sacrifice (or as a set up?) to WWX, but WWX defends the children. I remember the story was kind of set after the fight, when other characters arrive to Yiling to find WWX surrounded by kids. Thank you, and sorry if my ask appears twice!

FOUND?  a micro utopia born as the overture plays by tardigradeschool (T, 18k, wangxian, JGY/LXC, fix-it)

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6. hi! looking for an e rated modern au where (professor?) wei ying finds out his best friend lan zhan is a legend in the NYC gay scene and proceeds to get wrecked by him after lan zhan offers casually over coffee. features regular boardgame lunches with jc, nhs, and wn. friends to fuck-buddies to lovers once they finally communicate. thanks! @panickedemo​

FOUND? @xervos​ thinks this one might be either got your way with me by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 51k, wangxian, friends w/ benefits, ft. lan zhan fucks, wei ying fucks, neighbors to fuck buddies to lovers, does have the board games with the gang! )

or

(our friendship) up against the ropes by daltoneering (E, 36k, wangxian, friends w/ benefits, ft. lan zhan fucks / NYC sex god; best friends to fuck buddies to lovers. boardgames mention) Edit: Likely this one!

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7. I'm looking for a fic in which lan wangji is having difficulties with math and wei wuxian is his math tutor. I'm pretty sure it's smut, in which lwj kept trying to seduce wwx and it ends up working because lwj is wearing a skirt without even having the plan in mind lmao

FOUND!  Obsessive Behavior by youjezebel (E, 5k, wangxian, ABO, age difference)

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8. i need help finding a fic, but in case it cannot be found anything alike will do. so lwj is very worried of being the type of father his father was, but lsz reassures him. thanks! you keep me sane with your recs! 

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9. Hi, this is for a fic finder post! It was a fic set in modern times where an historian discovered some documents about the relationship between hanguang-jun and the yiling patriarch. According to traditional history they had been bitter enemies, but now she had found out that they were in love, lsz was their son and maybe they were married too (?). I have the feeling that these documents were previously undiscovered letters from lwj to wwx, and the historian wanted to tell the world the real account of their relationship (???)

FOUND? Perhaps one of the fics in Future Cultivation AU series by Aki_no_hikari (G, 25k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, reincarnation) Specifically the 2nd one Beneath the Ocean Floor FM

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10. hi! i remember reading a fic that was a post-canon fic centered around jiang cheng and wei ying. i remember that after wei ying leaves lan zhan he travels around and ends up at lotus pier. he attempts to do the sacrifice mo xuanyu did for him in order to bring back jiang yanli and jiang cheng catches him and stops him. i love the blog! 

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11. Hello there, this will be my first time asking! :Dc First of all, thank you for all the hard work you guys have been doing, y'all are awesome. Secondly, I'm trying to look for this fic that I forgot to bookmark wherein JC usurped JFM and YZY because I think he got tired of their constant arguing. I believe WWX wasn't found by JFM in this fic and becomes the Yiling Laozu early on. I've been trying to look for it but I got nowhere, can you please help me?

FOUND!  When It Rains It Pours by Dandelion_sama (T, 119k, wangxian, WIP)

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12. hello!!! im looking for this... time travel fic? i think wangxian got an early engagement. but the only scenes i rememeber are where wen ruohan wanted to match wen xu and wwx together bc wwx quoted the quintessence @ wen chaooh also i think wwx collapsed into like. nightmare dream sleep and couldnt be woken up (i think this is all during a disc conference in qishan)thank you!!

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13. Hi! I was wondering if you could help me find a fic. it was set in an AU where WWX disappeared with the Wens into this unlivable area full of monsters and resentful energy (maybe called Yuandao?) and were presumed dead.. until legends about mysterious cultivators helping people, and there being a refuge hidden in yuandao. Monsters start to leave the area and WWX and his sect come help. XXC and SZC are his 2nd in command, nsfw wangxian by the end. theres a cool line about the YLLZ hunting alone

FOUND! 💖 Echo, Murmur, Dream, Here by bluerainmist (M, 51k, wangxian)

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14. Hello lovelies! I am looking for two fics. A) is a jin sibs one. JZX is sect leader and MY helps him. I remember people tryna kill MY and they kidnapped him and took him to a mind. WWX and the gang went to look for him. I remember WWX saying to search quickly because it was getting cold and MY had a weak core. WWX doesn’t have a core. B) is a modern au. Detective/police WWX. He and LWJ are married with A-Yuan. It is in outsider POV. They moved and their neighbor snoops and call the police on them but she learns WWX is one and the police tell not to disturb without a cause. Aide moi s’il vous plait!!! Thanks Mojo guniang and L goniang for helping us lost souls who can’t bookmark their favorites. Mwah! Hugs and kisses!! @sandriya-artemis​

14A)

FOUND! Aftermath by KouriArashi ( T, 58k, wangxian, jiang yanli & everybody, Mojo’s post)

14B)

FOUND! more adventures of detective wei wuxian and his husband by trilliastra (G, 1k, wangxian, nosy neighbors, 2nd in series)

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15. Hi, I’m looking for a time travel fic where LWJ goes back in time to change certain moments(?) at the cost of his own core. I don’t remember many details from it btu I think the last change LWJ does happens at Lotus Pier.

More info: Hi, unfortunately it’s not the suggested Keysmashed’s fic :( I remember it being certain number of changed, probably like 5, and after every change LWJ’s core would get weaker and finally he was near death, I think. It had a happy ending, tho!

FOUND? Looking at You Always, All Ways by Keysmashed (T, 29k, wangxian, Mojo’s post)

FOUND!  see if i’d refuse you anything by headBONDmeLWJ (T, 12k, wangxian, time travel, fix-it)

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16. hi, mods! thank you so much for what you do here ♡ I’ve been looking for a fic where LWJ in bunny form accidentally gets found by WWX, gets pampered by him, and gets taken around Lotus Pier. Also, if you have other fic recs with bunny!LWJ, I’d really love that too! Thank you again!

FOUND! 💖love & longing, rabbit edition. by jaws_3 (G, 18k, wangxian, animal transformation, fluff)

and in the spring i shed my skin by wvlfqveen (T, 11k, wangxian, modern, animal transformation)

#19 of this post might interest you too

❤️Of Curses and Cottontails by Alliandra (T, 15k, wangxian, bunji, curses, fix it)

Hopping Into Your Bed and Heart by FrozenHawFlakes (T, 2k, wangxian, animal transformation)

when the gentians bloom again by Yuisaki (T, 1k, wangxian, LXC&LWJ, angst w/ happy ending)

What Am I Missing Here? by SarcasticDaydreamer (Not rated, 2k, wangxian, time travel)

Our hearts, beating in our hands by MemeKonMDZS (MemeKonYA) (T, 3k, wangxian, bun times, fluff)

that time lan wangji turned into a bunny by bwyn (G, 6k, wangxian, modern)

The Rabbit Prince by JessicaMDawn (T, 3k, wangxian, royalty, magic, music) Portuguese translation available by Madame_Jiang

Sparkle by Befallings (G, <1k, wangxian, fluff & crack)

Tales From Bunny Mountain by telarna (G, 5k, wangxian, JL/LSZ, JL&WWX, so many bunnies, lan buns) podfic by esbielle available

doting by soft_wanning (T, 1k, wangxian, bunji & bunxian, mpreg)

FROM ZERO ~ Long Ears Family, But We Are No Elves! by hawa777 (T, 2k, wangxian, fantasy, curses, WIP)

over and over again series by redkosmos (G, 5k, wangxian, pre-canon, first meetings, falling in love)

sempiternal | 但愿人长久 by auberjing (T, 12k, wangxian, curses, many animal transformations one of which is bunny)

❤️ the cure for sadness by NocturnalFriend (T, 3k, wangxian, fluff and angst)

❤️ softly through pine trees, the moon arrives by theLoyalRoyalGuard (G, 3k, wangxian, fluff and angst)

This art post by neenya

This art in twitter by dangocheeked (hurt!bunji)

This twitterthread by ililacquer (sad bunji works)

Master and Jade/002 by WaffleBunny13 (E, 3k, wangxian, LWJ&LXC, rabbit hybrid lwj, bottom!lwj, human experimentation, kidnapping, mental instability, WIP)

💖 This tumblr comic by soursoppi feat. drunk!bunji & drunk!bunchen, they have gusu buns as a frequent trope in MDZS Furryverse Tumblr comics but no dedicated tag for them

What Lies Beneath a Heart of Ice by TheRedFig (G, 6k, wangxian, animal transformation, curses, dehumanization, amnesia, fluff, Rabbit God! LWJ cares for child WWX and Hunter! WWX cares for hurt Bunji in parallel storylines, WIP)

Bunny Therapy by KikiDoesFanfic (G, 4k, wangxian, bad dreams, hurt/comfort, bunji, animal transformation, fluff)

When You Married a Rabbit by the Riverside p.t 1 & p.t 2 by Suspicious_Popsicle (E, 25k, One shot collection) WWX jokingly marries a rabbit who turns out to be Shapeshifter! Bunji

Fanart by @klyukvav here’s some elegant Tumblr fanart by klyukvav, of a stately Bunji and the first Ratxian I’ve ever seen

~*~

17. Hello! I'm looking for a fic that i read a while ago. WWX posted a challenge to the cultivation world that anyone could hit him once and then hed return the strike a year later, LWJ takes him in the offer and tries to kill him but fails to, meaning he has to return to the yiling patriarch in a year. when he returns to the mounds there's some identity porn bc he falls in love with wei ying not knowing hes the yiling patriarch

FOUND! rare the man who'll hold to faith by Fahye (M, 13k, wangxian, green knight au, identity porn)

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18. I'm looking for a WangXian fic on Ao3 but my history is over 1000 pages long. I can't remember the title, author, or exact summary. I do remember a bit of what happens in the fic though. Basically, Lan Zhan dies somehow and WWX goes somewhat crazy. I don't remember how he dies but there is a very prominent detail which I remember: WWX finds a bunch of young men (maybe Lan disciples?) who look eerily similar to LWJ and sacrifices one of them so that LWJ can come back in his body. Please help!

FOUND? Restoring the Balance by Muzu (G, 2k, wangxian, dark!wwx, revenge, 2nd in series)

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19.   hi mojo. for the next fic finder there's this fic that i read in which lan zhan is a cat shifter who everyone wants to marry (duh). so he declares that he will marry whoever manages to catch his cat from except no one knows its him. enter out poor little dum dum wei ying whos new in town and just wants to play with the pretty cat. lan zhan gets tired of his dumb ass and reveals himself and its happily ever after. so basically i remember the whole story but not the name. stupid but please help

SIMILAR!  Both of the following stories -  based on this tumblr comic and/or this tumblr post by pakastekaappihomo - have that plot, but lwj is a bunny instead of a cat:

it’s you, it was always you by myung (G, 7k, wangxian, my post)

heartkeeper by postingpebbles (G, 7k, wangxian, my bookmark), podfic by esbielle

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20. ...I cannot for the life of me find this fic: post-sunshot WWX ends up in Gusu and marries LWJ.  JGY doesn't find out until it's done and dusted and has a crisis because his whole plan revolved around blaming WWX for all the bad things he's doing and now he can't because he will inadvertently hurt LXC, which he's unwilling to do.

FOUND?  Just a drop by R95irth (Not rated, 173k, wangxian, LXC/JGY, has jgy re evaluating all his life choices because he didn't know that lan xichen's brother was in love with wwx, so now he tries to abort the whole plan with varying degrees of success, but wangxian hadn't even confessed at the fic start)

~*~

[silverflame2724]

Funny prompt

Student days!Wangxian acting exactly like shameless&married post-canon!Wangxian due to a talisman accident by Jin Zixuan.

This leads to:

LWJ and WWX publicly admitting their feelings towards each other as sappily as possible. JC and NHS trying desperately to be the voices of reason and restraint. LWJ and WWX deciding they should immediately elope into the sunset and become rogue cultivators going wherever the chaos is. LWJ and WWX not telling anyone that the talismans effect actually wore off a few minutes after their first confession but realising that their feelings for each other were genuine and continuing from there. JZX never ever lives the incident down.

“It was an accident!!!!” Jin Zixuan yells to an incredulous, disbelieving crowd. “I did not mean for this to happen!!!”

“You were complaining about them for weeks now! How can we believe you?!” Jiang Cheng retorts. “And now, look at what you’ve done!!”

He gestures to the side and people are instantly greeted to sight of Wei Wuxian pressing up against Lan Wangji and giggling every so often with a besotted look on his face. Lan Wangji, for his part, ignores the fact that Jiang Cheng’s brother is sitting in his lap and playing with his hair, merely settling his hands on Wei Wuxian’s waist and nuzzling Wei Wuxian back.

The scene was so incredibly sweet and shameless that people cried at the sheer amount of dog food they were given.

“What did you even do?” Nie Huaisang asks curiously.

Jin Zixuan, “Well…….”

……

He had been walking to class when a loud voice had interrupted his thoughts. It was Wei Wuxian. And he was bothering the Second Jade yet again. 

And honestly speaking, it annoyed Zixuan. As a fellow teenager who couldn’t express himself well, he somewhat understood how Lan Wangji felt having someone as loud as Wei Wuxian fluttering around like some courting bird. But Zixuan had to praise Lan Wangji’s self-restraint in not actually clobbering or yelling at Wei Wuxian.

This made Zixuan come up with a brilliant plan! He’ll use a truth talisman to encourage Lan Wangji to actually say what his feelings are about Wei Wuxian’s insistent presence!! He had plenty of those stocked up (considering his father expected him to use them to get dirt on some disciples here - not that he would do that).

So he silently sent a truth talisman over when both their backs were turned. Hopefully, Lan Wangji would finally be free from Wei Wuxian’s clutches.

.

.

.

.

What’s going on???? Jin Zixuan internally screamed as he watched the scene unfold in front of him.

One moment they’re talking normally - or, at least Wei Wuxian is - the next, Lan Wangji is blurting out for Wei Wuxian to stop mocking him - which is what Zixuan was going for - and Wei Wuxian is confessing that he’s not mocking, he just likes Lan Wangji so much, he can’t help but tease!

And then Lan Wangji.......blushes. On his ears, but it’s there nonetheless. And then he says he likes Wei Wuxian too!

And Wei Wuxian blushes!! That shameless boy actually blushed!!

At first, Zixuan thinks it’s just the like as in friendship. But then......then, after more talking, they kiss. They kiss. And th-there’s tongue a-and--

Jin Zixuan flees.

……..

“So a truth talisman, huh? It’s surprising that it hasn’t worn off yet, considering how shameless they’re being.” Nie Huaisang hums. “I wonder if you can lend me some.....”

“Huh?” Jin Zixuan asks.

“Nothing, nothing. Oh right! Shouldn’t we separate them? Things are getting.....steamy.”

And, sure enough, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are kissing again. Jiang Cheng fumes and goes over to separate them.

“No more kissing until marriage! You two aren’t even betrothed so stop being shameless!!” Jiang Cheng rages.

Wei Wuxian’s red, swollen lips form a pout. “But Jiang Cheng, Lan Zhan and I are already engaged!”

“WHAT?!”

Lan Wangji nods. “Bound Wei Ying with my forehead ribbon. In Lan sect tradition, we are engaged.”

“Wei Wuxian is a part of the Jiang sect so Lan sect tradition doesn’t count!”

Lan Wangji frowns and Wei Wuxian coos, using his hands to smooth out the frown. “Now, now Lan Zhan, don’t be so angry. No matter what Jiang Cheng says, I’m yours.”

“Mn. Mine.” Lan Wangji squeezes Wei Wuxian’s waist.

Jiang Cheng goes purple. “Get your filthy hands off my brother!!!!”

“Shouting is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses.”

“Well, fuck that!”

“Improper language is forbidden.”

Nie Huaisang prods Jin Zixuan with his fan, “You should probably go de-escalate.”

“Why me?”

“You dug the hole, you got to put in the effort to help now.”

Jin Zixuan sighs.

“Lan-laoshi won’t allow this!” Jiang Cheng retorts.

“Then we’ll just elope!! Right, Lan Zhan!!” Wei Wuxian leans against him. “Just imagine it, us becoming rogue cultivators and helping the common people, going wherever chaos is.”

“Mn.”

“NO ELOPING!!!!”

.......................................

In all actuality, the moment Wei Wuxian had confessed that he liked Lan Zhan in that way and the moment Lan Zhan returned those feelings, was the moment the talisman had worn off. Wei Wuxian had discovered it hanging on both their backs but decided to leave them on there so that he could continue to act shameless with Lan Zhan in public.

He was just so happy! All this time trying to get Lan Zhan’s attention and he finally got it! And maybe forever considering Lan Zhan bound him with his forehead ribbon, signalling their engagement and possibly their marriage.

Originally, he thought Lan Zhan would go back to normal after the talisman’s effect wore off, but Wei Wuxian’s confession seemed to have loosened something in him, causing him to just lose all restraint.

And Wei Wuxian loved that.

Lan Zhan just kissed so well! And fierce too! He sighed dreamily, leaning against Lan Zhan and ignoring the crowd and chaos this incident had drawn in. 

Perhaps, when they elope, they could adopt a little one too......or is it too early to think about children?

....................................

In the end, they didn’t get to elope. Instead, they were separated by Lan Qiren, put into separate rooms, got an official engagement contract set, and then were able to see each other. But. With a chaperone.

The rest of their time was spent trying to sneak around the chaperone - Wei Wuxian didn’t think Lan Zhan had it in him - and kiss every now and then. Of course, they wanted to go farther but Lan Zhan wanted to properly court and honor him until the official wedding. Wei Wuxian had swooned when Lan Zhan told him that.

Jin Zixuan floated into the classroom and Wei Wuxian immediately bounced towards him. 

“Hey, Peacock!” Wei Wuxian called.

“What.”

“Thank you.”

Jin Zixuan seemed startled, “For what?”

“Thanks to that talisman you set on us, I was able to get Lan Zhan! So, thanks!” Gratitude properly conveyed, he skipped back to Lan Wangji’s side, chattering about nothing in particular.

Jin Zixun gave the pair a long-suffering sigh. He would never ever forget this day.

[agendratum]

ok so

as usual after finishing an arc of mdzs my head is full, many thoughts. so let’s talk about the guanyin temple confrontation.

first thing that i kept paying attention to were actually the changes made in order to turn it into live-action. so in cql they had to make the gray-gray characters, the “there are no good or bad guys, just people and their circumstances” characters (unless you’re jgs, than yeah you’re a bad guy and everyone agrees on that actually) into slightly more black and white characters. by the end of cql we are lured into this fake sense of security, “haha, we know who the bad guy is!” (then a year passes and here you are, now a jgy apologist), by the end of mdzs, you just know that, well, decisions were made, unfortunate decisions, by many different people. 

cql had to make wwx into a bit nicer version of himself. the good protagonist couldn’t lose control and accidentally kill a bunch of people, and then kill another bunch of people fully willingly, cause his sister just died and that was the last connection he had to the idea that something still matters in this world. no, out protagonist should be... like a little bit nicer than that. so they lifted some of that responsibility for atrocities off him, but they couldn’t just evaporate it, could they? they had to put it somewhere. they put it on jgy. after all he’s the big bad in the end of the story, well, the only surviving person from all people that could be considered big bads, he’s the one that “did every terrible deed imaginable”. he could take that responsibility, they had to make his grayness into a slightly darker shade anyway.

i am actually kinda surprised by how different my reaction to jgy was in mdzs. obviously, there is a year difference between me watching cql and me reading this part of mdzs, and over that year i changed my opinion on jgy 5 thousand times and joined the camp “actually meng yao deserves all the best things in the world”, but anyway. when i was watching cql i was like, oh my god, can someone just kill him already, before he does something bad again, before more bullcrap comes out of his mouth, and also stop yelling at this kid about all the “valid” reasons to why you killed his dad. in mdzs my reaction to jgy’s confessions was like, “huh. he has a point”.

now don’t get me wrong there, some shitty things were done, but the thing is, the things he did really made sense from his point of view, from this position and life experience he really had no other way to go. i especially was convinced by his reasoning to why he couldn’t cancel his engagement with qin su. not only he would suffer from this story, because he already went through so much to make this marriage possible, but also qin su’s parents and herself would most likely suffer, their public image would be destroyed, only jgs wouldn’t lose anything. and you could feel the hatred and bitterness he felt towards his father talking about this, and everyone in the temple could agree with that, because he “just forgot he made another child”, he didn’t even notice.

another interesting detail for me was lxc saying, “it’s not that i didn’t know that you did some of these things, it’s that i thought you had a good reason for doing them”. so yeah, a reminder, lxc isn’t blind and he isn’t an idiot. he trusted a person he thought he knew better than anyone else, and he believed in this person. the problem, i think, is that “a good reason” is different for lxc and for jgy. lxc would understand a righteous reason, doing something for the greater good. working for wen ruohan? that was explainable. they all were fighting in a war, fighting for the better, brighter future, and meng yao’s contribution to that future was immeasurable. what if he killed some people there? he had a good reason in lxc’s eyes. but meng yao had other good reasons in his life, some of these reasons lxc never had to deal with in his life. survival, for example, is one of them. meng yao’s early years were very different from lxc’s. not to say that lxc’s life was easy, but it was never truly unstable. meng yao had to learn how to survive in a world where no one wanted him. he lived with one dream, promised to him by his mother, a future where he wouldn’t have to suffer anymore, where he wouldn’t have to smile at people he hated, please every one of their desires so they wouldn’t harm him. and then he entered this life promised to him and he still had to survive, but now in a luxurious man-eats-man world of lanling jin.

meng yao’s life really was this unstoppable ball of snow rolling down the mountain, and every decision he made just made the ball bigger and it would just roll faster. there is even a moment where jgy accuses lxc of being naive. lxc isn’t really naive, of course, it was said in the heat of the moment, but it is a fact that lxc was never kicked down a staircase, never had to crawl back up, and the thing is, at the bottom of the staircase, there are other good reasons to do things.

and in a way lxc understood that jgy in his position really didn’t have any other choices, he just couldn’t find peace in this mindset. he kept repeated through that part, “and yet, and yet, you shouldn’t have done that, you should have...” and he never said what exactly jgy should have done. because lxc doesn’t know. jgy doesn’t know. no one knows. what choices were better? how could he fix all that and still survive? in a way, lxc saying that reminded me of wangxian farewell in the burial mounds. when lwj asks, “you really indent to keep going like this?” and wwx, who wished, who longed for another solution, for some way out, asked him, “what else can i do? what method can i choose to resolve this, not use this technique and still protect people i want to protect?” and lwj didn’t have an answer. lxc didn’t have an answer either.

another amazing thing about guanyin temple confrontation, is that it’s very heavily wwx’s pov. most on the novel is his pov of course, but there were a loot of his thoughts in this arc. and he was rather understanding towards jgy. not in a way “i agree with every reasoning behind every decision you made” but in a way “i understand that you had your reasons, but all of them will become irrelevant really soon, they already are, because the crowd will only remember you as a son of a whore who did every terrible deed imaginable, and all the good deeds will be forgotten” 

now his thoughts on nhs, or who he suspected nhs to be, were way less nice. especially compared to live action, nhs didn’t make such an impression on me as he made through wwx’s thought process in the end of guanyin temple arc. of course, wwx is no sect leader yao, he is not the one to jump to conclusions, he just noticed that if you put some facts together, they actually start making a lot of sense, and formed a full picture. but he didn’t have any proof, so he kept it mostly to himself. yet he still thought for a moment about nhs as someone who didn’t care about collateral damage that much, who was ready to sacrifice lives of juniors, sect leaders, anyone, if it would add to jgy’s kill count and make his fall and destruction even more disastrous. not that those are not the things that happened in live action, but you know, when wwx put it all together like that in one paragraph, i really felt it. like, oof, dude it’s ROUGH. and not even jgy’s death was enough, as nhs basically admitted to stealing meng shi’s body and planning to repay jgy for what he did to nmj’s body. yikes

i mean i still support nhs in everything he does, but yikes

also side note, glad that the dead cats situation finally became clear for me. this whole year i was so confused about who left all these dead cats for juniors to find. i thought maybe xue yang did?? to lure wwx?? so apparently it was also nhs. good to know.

another detail, probably the last one my brain can generate for now, that pained me a great deal was my poor child jin ling. i already cried about some things related to him and this arc, but there was another little one in the very end here, after jgy died. jin ling realised, that there were now three people, wwx, wn and jgy, his little uncle, that were responsible for his parents’ death. people he had every right and reason to hate. all three of them. and yet he couldn’t hate any of them. he couldn’t avenge his parents, that died so long ago he couldn’t remember them, because all three people responsible for what happened, had something, some reasons, some circumstances, that made them really not the bad guys in jin ling’s life. and they all cared about him, protected him. how could he hate them? how could he not? and in this way this poor child repeats, unfortunately, his uncle’s curse. to have someone he wants to hate so much but just simply can’t. it warms my heart at least that jin ling has a much better support system than jc had when he had to live through that experience. so there is hope.

[kpoplama1]

I think that we as a fandom don’t like to think about the relationship between WWX and JC to much, because if we do, we would realise how incredibly depressing it actually is.

Now don’t get me wrong of course everybody who watched or read Mdzs knows that their relationship is like pure Angst, however the more you think about it the more depressing it gets. Because while they are both incredibly broken people they, at least, used to find comfort in one another. When JC was depressed because of his parents WWX was the one assuring him, that he would always be there for him and that together they would be unstoppable. And when WWX was stuck in the cave with LWJ JC was the one to save him. So they each had their troubles but still had each other to relay on.

And then everything changed, when the Jiang Clan was attacked and JC blamed the death of his parents on WWX. Now you have to remember, that while WWX wasn’t their biological son, these two were still essentially the people who raised him ( arguably one more than the other, but let’s ignore that for now ) and while JC was always jealous of how his father treated WWX, he himself realised, or at least thought, that he only did this out of guilt and didn’t actually see him as a son, sure he loved him but not as a son. And the Madam, boy oh boy, she never even treated WWX as a son, reminding him of his inferiority every chance she gets. And now imagine what that does to the psyche of a child, being told again and again that your life is worth less than that of your brother. It sure as hell doesn’t help you develop a healthy mindset of self worth. We see this countless times in the way he jumps in to save other people with no regard to his own safety, one of the best examples of this would of course be him giving up his golden core for JC. So we have two broken boys with parental issues both feeling inferior to each other. Not a very good foundation to begin with and now both of the parents (and like all of their friends and just like neighbours) get murdered. That sure as hell doesn’t help their relationship.

Now, the golden core transplant. Arguably one of the most depressing and hurtful storylines in a story that is almost entirely depressing and hurtful. Wei Ying didn’t even hesitate to give up his golden core, didn’t even think to tell Jiang Cheng about it. (Which really shows how horrendous their communication skills are) Now you might say “Wei Ying did it out of brotherly love and there was nothing wrong with it” while you are correct brotherly love was most definitely a part of it another part probably also was his feeling of debt towards Jiang Cheng. Like he’s been feeling indebt towards him, simply because he was allowed to live there and now Jiang Cheng is accusing him of being responsible for the murder of his parents. Wei Ying at this point doesn’t feel like he has the right to keep his golden core, like it is his duty to give it up, and that is what makes the whole thing so incredibly depressing.

Of course there are even more things, which you can look at that will make their relationship even sadder, however it is currently 2 am and I have school tomorrow so this is where I quit.

[angstymdzsthoughts]

(1/4) JYL survives nightless city but JGS keeps it a secret until after the Siege so JC won’t change his mind. JYL wakes up after everyone has left for the siege and panics when she realises what is happening. She disguises herself, hiding her face behind a veil and disguising her clothes so that she’d be able to sneak out without alerting anyone. She hurries down to the burial mounds to save WWX but it’s too late - WWX is already dead by this point, and the siege is well underway.

(2/4) JYL is frozen in horror, both at the realisation that her precious little brother is dead, but also when she sees the weak, elderly people being brutally killed by the other cultivators. She’s never been so disgusted in her life. She’s so distracted by what’s happening around her, that she doesn’t hear someone come up behind her until it’s too late. JYL feels a sword pierce through her for a second time. She turns just in time to see her brother standing behind her, JC staring at her

(3/4) with cold, unfamiliar eyes. JYL is in too much shock and pain to even call out to him, and as she falls to the floor, he leaves her lying there and moves on to the next person. Unlike last time, no one rushes her to get medical help - they’ve all mistaken her as a ‘Wen-dog’ after all. JYL dies in the BM, with JC thinking he has killed another one of the Wens he hates so much, and having no idea that he just murdered his beloved sister. He doesn’t spare the woman with the veil a second

(4/4) thought. The Jins dispose of the bodies of the Wens after the siege, and realise who the veiled woman was - however JGS orders that they keep it a secret to avoid backlash. Years later, an unfamiliar dead woman wearing a veil joins the dead Wens at the second siege of the BM; she tries to move closer to JL, but he backs away, confused about what she wants. It isn’t until JGY reveals what JC did at the Guanyin Temple that they all - including JC, at last - realise the horrifying truth.

[ouyangzizhensdad]

Perhaps you'd like a an ask that's not discourse related? If so, then I wanted to ask you if you know what jin zixuan thought of jin guangyao?

Hi anon,

I appreciate your non-discourse-related ask 😉. Your question made me realise that the novel seems to explicitly avoid giving us any real sense of what Jin Zixuan thought of Jin Guangyao, or how he reacted to the ways other people treated JGY. It seems that JZX remained unaware at the time that Meng Yao came on his birthday--and literally got kicked out. At Phoenix Mountain, JZX stops being mentioned after JGY appears and while his mother mistreats him--he’s only brought back into the narration at the very end to scream at JYL. JZX is also absent the night that WWX goes to Jinlintai to confront the Jins about Qiongqi path and in the direct aftermath. But let’s dig for crumbs and make sense of gaps, and let’s see what we can infer from them.

We know that, originally, Jin Zixuan was the epitome of the proud Jin: “The ways of the Jin Sect were proud, and Jin Zixuan inherited every single drop of this. With his high standards, he had been unsatisfied with this engagement since a long time ago.“ We could wonder if the circumstances of JGY’s birth would have been something JZX would have judged him for. We know that he took offense to WWX’s persona, although it is not spelled out exactly what offended him specifically: “Because of this engagement, Jin Zixuan had no positive impressions of the YunmengJiang Sect, and had frowned upon Wei Wuxian’s behavior since some time ago.“ However, it’s unclear whether the circumstances of WWX’s birth influenced how he perceived his behaviour. All we know for sure is that two other Jin family members--his father and Jin Zixun--never forgot about it and brought it up. We also know that in the past, JZX felt comfortable ignoring people’s good will towards him if he felt he was motivated in his view of them, as he did with JYL in the past:

Jin-furen had brought him to Lotus Pier a couple of times. Neither Wei Wuxian nor Jiang Cheng liked to play with him; only Jiang Yanli wanted to feed him the food that she made. Jin Zixuan, however, didn’t really like to pay her any attention.

At the same time, we do know that JZX had a sense of righteousness, what with him standing up against Wen Chao at Dusk-Creek Mountain. Likewise, we see with the soup incident that at least when it comes to a low-level cultivator who is a servant, a good deed done towards him without trying to gain his gratitude is enough to earn his respect, and for JZX to take action to raise the standing of that person:

Cleverly, the woman never acknowledged anything, but instead denied it ambiguously, her cheeks flushed, making it sound as though she was the one who did it, but didn’t want Jin Zixuan to know how much trouble she went through. And thus, Jin Zixuan didn’t force her to admit it any longer. However, in action, he had began to respect the cultivator. He began to pay attention to her, even raising her from a servant to a guest cultivator.

JZX even tells JYL: “Don’t think that just because you come from a powerful sect that you can steal and trample other people’s feelings. Some people, even if they come from poor backgrounds, their character are much better than the former’s. Please watch your conduct.” This underlines that, regardless of his upbringing, and perhaps even views that he might have held at some point in his life, at this point JZX seemed to want to judge others based on their character rather than their background. Of course, we can wonder if that reserve of good will would have extended to his half-brother, especially one that could try to take his place as the heir. However, considering the circumstances, from JGY’s birth to JGS’s decision to give him a name that did not align him with the same generation as JZX, we can wonder if anyone ever perceived then JGY as someone who could potentially become the next sect leader, as seen in this exchange between WWX and JC:

Jiang Cheng smirked, “Don’t carry your sword, then. It doesn’t matter. But don’t provoke Jin Zixuan from now on. He’s Jin Guangshan’s only son, after all. The future leader of the LanlingJin Sect will be him. If you beat him up, what should I, the sect leader, do? Beat him up with you? Or punish you?”

Wei Wuxian, “Isn’t Jin Guangyao here now? Jin Guangyao seems so much better than him.”

Jiang Cheng finished wiping his sword. After he scrutinized it for a while, he finally put Sandu back into its sheath, “So what, if he’s better? No matter how much better he is, no matter how clever, he could only be a servant who greets the guests. That’s all there is to his life. He can’t compare with Jin Zixuan.”

At Phoenix Mountain, while we do not see JZX say anything out of line to JGY, he is present while his mother and Jin Zixun disrespect him: and we get no reaction written for him while that takes place--he’s mostly licking his wounded pride. We also know that this disrespect by his family towards JGY was the norm, so we have to assume that JZX would have been a witness to it in other situations. In the context of that specific scene, it’s difficult to to infer something concrete from that silence: is it agreement? complicity? a certain indifference to JGY’s situation? an unwillingness of rock the boat or to seem to publicly challenge his mother? or simply him just being too self-absorbed by his romantic woes?

The next scene that would have made for an interesting case study is the night WWX comes to confront the Jins about the camp at Qiongqi Path. However, JZX is absent that night. Conveniently, or as a means to maintain a sense of ambiguity between him and WWX, we thereby do not know how JZX feels about what happened. He is also absent during the aftermath:  “At midnight, in the Golden Pavilion on JinlinTai sat over fifty sect leaders from sects of all sizes. Jin Guangshan sat in the foremost seat. Jin Zixuan was away [...].” (interesting that CQL added JZX to that scene). Which means he is not there to react to the mistreatment of JGY by others or to react to the way JGY is clearly lying for the purposes of manipulating the general opinion on WWX and save the Jin’s reputation.

We also do not get to witness the conversation that leads JZX to come to Qiongqi Path to try to stop Jin Zixun. All we get is a sentence of dialogue from JZX explaining that he thought JGY looked strange which prompted JZX tp questioned him questions (we of course know that JGY was purposefully acting that way to get JZX to go to Qionqqi Path, so it’s hard to take that as a sign of clear familiarity between them that would have allowed JZX to read hidden emotions from him). Did JZX ask out of specific concern for or suspicions of JGY? We don’t know! It is interesting to note though that, in this scene, Jin Zixun refers to JGY as “A-Yao”, which the narration contextualises by telling us that Jin Zixun started calling him in a more intimate manner despite the original contemps he had held for him. However, when JZX mentions JGY to Jin Zixun, he calls him “Jin Guangyao” (for reference, Jin Zixun calls JZX “Zixuan”).

All in all, we get very little from looking at JZX. However, there is something to be said in the absence of any specific grievances expressed by JGY towards him in terms of framing how JZX may have acted towards him when they were both at Jinlintai. Indeed, when Jin Ling asks JGY why he arranged for his father to go to Qiongqi path, meeting his death, JGY mentions the unfairness of the situation of both sons, but never brings up anything JZX did specifically to him. And we know that JGY has a great memory which allows him to hold grudges.

Suddenly, Jin Ling screamed, “Why?!” He stood up from beside Jiang Cheng. Eyes red, he rushed toward Jin Guangyao as he shouted, “Why did you have to do this?!”

Nie Huaisang hurried to pull back Jin Ling, who seemed as though he wanted to fight with Jin Guangyao. Jin Guangyao returned the question, “Why?” He turned to Jin Ling, “A-Ling, then could you tell me why? Why is it that even if I face everyone with a smile, I might not even receive the lowest form of respect, while even though your father was extremely arrogant, people flocked to him? Could you tell me why we were born from the same person but your father could relax at home with the love of his life playing with his child, while I never even dared be alone for long with my wife, shivering out of fright at first glance of my son? And I was ordered to do such a thing by my father as if it was natural—to kill an extremely dangerous figure who could flip out and conjure up a bloody massacre with his corpses anytime!

“Why is it that even though we were born on the same day, Jin Guangshan could host a grand banquet for one son, and watch with his own eyes how his subordinate kicked his other son down Jinlintai, from the first stair to the last!”

He finally revealed the hatred hidden deep within him. It wasn’t directed at neither Jin Zixuan nor Wei Wuxian, but rather his own father.

As a result, we might infer that, at the very least, JZX never directly acted towards JGY in a way that reflected how JGS or Jin Zixun (at some point) treated him. At the same time, it’s difficult to suggest that he stood up for him when other people disrespected him, and we know that JZX’s mother disrespected JGY in lieu of directing her anger toward the real culprit, her awful husband. Little seems to suggest that they grew intimate after JGY came to Jinlintai. It’s really hard to divine, as a result, what JZX might have thought of JGY.

The most interesting thing to take away from this is that it seems absolutely deliberate on MXTX’s part to show us as little as possible in terms of interactions between JZX and JGY. We can speculate as to why that is: to separate JZX from the machinations of this sect? to avoid giving us more ammunition to guess that JGY was behind JZX’s death? to ensure that WWX remains ambiguous towards JZX? or just as a means to avoid having to figure out how to work this dynamic into already complicated scenes and character relationships? etc.

[neverdoingmuch]

a modern au where wei wuxian has way too many cats. wwx started off with two cats - chenqing and suibian if we wanna go down that path - but then over time people just started giving him their cats. when jc had to move to a different city, he couldn’t take his cat with him so he gave her to wwx and when it turned out that jin ling was allergic to cats wwx got given jyl’s cat too. nhs rocks up and is like hey i found this stray cat, here you go, and then leaves and one time mianmian, who he hasn’t seen in over five years, is like i heard you’re good with cats have this. jc is always making fun of him for it and asks who’s going to date someone with so many cats like he’s not part of the reason wwx is in this predicament in the first place. and it’s true,, the moment he has a date at his place the other person is like hm yeah it was nice getting to know you but i dont think this is going to work out (: and wwx is bummed out but also whatever he has his cats, he doesn’t need anyone else.

until!! he meets lwj. when he meets lwj wwx is like fuck! i don’t want to scare him off so he just doesn’t have lwj over,,,, ever,,, it’s been like six months and lwj doesn’t even know where wwx lives. it should be strange but wwx has also never been to lwj’s place so it all balances out. but then one day they get caught in the rain and lwj is like i suppose,,, you should come over and dry off at my place,,, and it’s clear that he’s really reluctant but wwx is absolutely soaked so he just goes yeah! sounds good! so they go to lwj’s place and as they get closer lwj is definitely getting more and more nervous and wwx is super confused when he walks in and his home just looks completely normal?? like it’s a little empty but whatever, there’s nothing to be nervous about. but then when he goes off to have a shower to warm up wwx accidentally opens the wrong door and finds himself in a room completely full of bunnies. like there is a certifiable horde of them and that’s coming from wei “i think i have twelve cats or maybe thirteen?? depends on the day and my mood” wuxian. he just goes holy shit and lwj rushes over with some explanation ready (something along the lines of i know i have a lot of rabbits but i hope it isn’t a problem) but wwx is already lying on the floor, buried in a pile of them. i’m in heaven, wwx whispers to lwj, they’re so soft and gentle,, and lwj tentatively relaxes. it’s only when wwx brings lwj over to introduce them to his horde of cats that they realise that maybe the only problem they’ll have is when they’re trying to find a place with enough room for the rabbits and cats.

[ibijau]

👋🏼 Hello. For writing prompt thing 39. If you haven’t gotten too many of these. NMJ being super dotting on a pretty small baby. Baby could be NHS & LXCs, or NHS & JCs, or NMJ & MYs, 🤷🏼‍♀️

❤️ your writing!

me: aw, that's sweet!

also me: anyway, let's make it angsty

warning for implied trans character, and implied pregnancy of a trans man /o/

Jin Guangyao enters the room to the sound of cooing and meaningless blabber, and freezes on the spot.

His oldest sworn brother, sitting at his desk with a pile of work he ought to be doing, is instead playing with a baby. A very young baby. A month at the very most, going by the size of it… though since Nie cultivators tend to be large, maybe their children are as well, in which case it could be a little younger.

“Is da-ge babysitting?” Jin Guangyao asks, turning to close the door quietly to avoid startling the child.

When he turns again to look at Nie Mingjue, there is no trace left of the earlier softness he displayed while cooing at that baby. Instead, as always when confronted with Jin Guangyao, Nie Mingjue looks somewhat constipated.

“What are you doing here?”

Jin Guangyao startles at the barking tone, which has more bite than usual, even by Nie Mingjue’s standards. It has been a long while since his former sect leader has appeared this angry. They don’t get along anymore, not the way they used to, but Jin Guangyao had foolishly thought they were on the path to… not reconciliation, that would be too much to ask, but a certain understanding at least. There have even been times when he’s thought that Nie Mingjue looked at him with something that might pass for affection, though that always vanishes when their eyes meet, so he might have imagined it.

“Er-ge asked me if I could check on you,” Jin Guangyao explains as he comes to kneel on the other side of the table. Nie Mingjue holds the child tighter against his chest, as if fearing Jin Guangyao might stab it perhaps. Surprisingly, it hurts to be treated with such suspicion, even though Jin Guangyao ought to be used to it by now. “You were absent from that last discussion conference in Lanling, and you have refused all his most recent Night Hunting invitations, so he worries.”

He pauses, and looks at the baby, hit by a sudden doubt he dares not express.

“If da-ge fears that Night Hunting with er-ge will force him to spend time with me, we can make arrangements,” Jin Guangyao offers, pushing down that very ridiculous idea he’s just had. Nie Mingjue would have said something if… at least he would have told Lan Xichen, and nobody keeps these things a secret after the birth, do they? “I am very busy anyway, so I rarely have time to spend with er-ge. You don’t have to avoid him on my behalf.”

“I didn’t avoid him because of you,” Nie Mingjue snaps, his voice rising just enough to startle the baby.

It makes an unhappy noise, like a kitten mewling. Instantly Nie Mingjue’s entire body tenses, before he forces himself to relax and starts rocking the baby in his arms with that gentleness of his which still surprises Jin Guangyao every time he gets to witness it. It makes something go soft in Jin Guangyao’s chest, so soft it almost hurts, especially when he’s always been weak to the sight of fathers caring for their children. His mother used to promise that his own father too would be like that with him, someday, something he foolishly believed for far too long, in spite of how pragmatic he tried to be about other things.

“Is it yours?” Jin Guangyao asks, already knowing the answer.

Nie Mingjue just grunts, dropping a kiss on the baby’s forehead as it starts to calm down.

“I’m surprised you didn’t marry the other parent,” Jin Guangyao says. “Or did you just not think of inviting anyone? I can understand not wanting to see me, but er-ge would be disappointed. Nie Huaisang too, actually. And I know hecan’t have been there, that boy doesn’t know how to keep a secret.”

“There was no wedding.”

Something about Nie Mingjue’s tone startles Jin Guangyao, or perhaps it is the way the other man glares at him, again with more anger than he’s shown in a long while. Jin Guangyao can’t imagine why. It was a legitimate question to ask, he thinks. But then, he realises that perhaps the child came to be in… less than ideal circumstances. Jin Guangyao knows, as few people do, that Nie Mingjue is not like most men, something that he’s been asked (ordered) to keep to himself.

Something cold drops onto Jin Guangyao’s heart, freezing him solid.

He knows, indeed, that Nie Mingjue is a man like few others. He knows it intimately, because his sworn brother once trusted him, before things went sour between them, and because even after their relationship took a turn for the worse, in the early days after the war, there were a few occasions when drink and pent up emotions led to… lapses in judgement. It hasn’t happened in about a year, but…

Well, less than a year, really. More like ten months, more or less, because last time was when Nie Mingjue invited both his sworn brothers for a Night Hunt upon his birthday. They definitely drank too much that time. It wasn’t the only thing they did too much of.

“You should have told me,” Jin Guangyao says, unable to keep the pain out of his voice at this new proof of Nie Mingjue’s disdain for him. “Or… not, it can’t be that,” he adds, regaining control of himself, and bowing politely before his sworn brother. “You wouldn’t have kept it if it were mine. I’m sorry for even suggesting it.”

“If I’d told you, you would have told your father,” Nie Mingjue retorts, taking Jin Guangyao’s breath away, because it means it really is… “And then that old fart would have tried to use it against me. My sect’s safety comes first. Besides, I figured you’d rather not be involved.”

Jin Guangyao wishes it were an unfair appraisal of his priorities, and can’t help but wince at how well Nie Mingjue understands him, at least when it comes to the worst sides of him.

Of course he would have told Jin Guangshan. Possibly, foolishly, out of a hope that his father might mellow a little at the perspective of his first grandson, supposing Nie Mingjue told him before the announcement that Jin Zixuan’s engagement was to be renewed. Maybe also, yes, because there could be political advantage to be gained from this, and if Jin Guangyao can’t have his father’s good opinion out of affection, he’ll try to have it through his usefulness.

Nie Mingjue knows him too well.

And still he bore his child, when there are so many ways to prevent that.

“Why did you keep it?”

“I needed an heir,” Nie Mingjue says, gently rocking the child again, just the way Jin Guangyao now itches to do.

His child. He’s a father, but only because he did the one thing he always promised himself he wouldn’t do, spilled his seed carelessly and never thought twice about the consequences, leaving the details for the other party to figure out.

Like all those men at the brothels his mother worked at.

Like his own father.

“I refuse to believe I’m the only man who could have given you a child,” Jin Guangyao scoffs, clenching his fists over his knees, desperately wanting to reach over the table and beg to hold their child. “You’ve made it more than clear what you think of me.”

“I don’t take just anyone to bed.”

Ah, so that’s it, Jin Guangyao thinks, feeling the cold and heat of rejection. Of course in Nie Mingjue’s position, taking lovers is a delicate affair. Jin Guangyao can’t be what he would still go for, if he truly had a choice, but since he knows already, it was easier to continue like that than look for someone truly worthy of fathering the future sect leader of Qinghe Nie.

“I see. I am sorry da-ge had to settle for this one. And I suppose… no, of course I can’t be involved in the child’s life.”

“You can if you want to,” Nie Mingjue retorts, a strangle glint in his eyes which makes him look almost hopeful.

Hopeful that Jin Guangyao will know his place, no doubt.

And he does, of course. Everyone in the cultivation world has made sure that Jin Guangyao knows precisely what he’s worth to them, with his mother a whore and his father slightly less respected for having recognised him. The stain of his own birth would just be passed down on that child, on Nie Mingjue.

It doesn’t matter what Jin Guangyao wants.

It has never mattered.

“I think it best if I keep my distance,” he lies with a polite smile. “Don’t worry, I won’t interfere with your child’s life, da-ge, and I swear to never act as if I have any right to be part of its life.”

Nie Mingjue’s expression turns dark upon hearing this, which is no surprise. Of course he thinks that Jin Guangyao’s word had little value. He might not even be wrong. But for this, at least, Jin Guangyao intends to keep the promise he’s making.

It’s fine, anyway.

With Nie Mingjue being his sworn brother, he might still catch glimpses of his child here and there if he’s lucky, and watch it grow free from the disgrace of being descended from a whore.

[missnight0wl]

Seeing the last chapter of Beyond, there's the theory that Jacob's roomate and who will take care of him is Olivia, implying that maybe they could have a romance. What do you think about that?

I think Fugly Slut doesn’t deserve anyone’s care, definitely not Olivia’s. But if it really has to happen, I think he should prove that he deserves it. I mean, Olivia is an intelligent girl, y’know, so Jacob should prove his intellect by getting out of the Forbidden Forest on his own. If he manages to do that, then MAYBE he deserves Olivia.

*random voice from the back* Uhm, but he’s blind, remember? Wouldn’t it be nearly impossible for him to get out of the Forest without being devoured by creatures?

I’m sorry, did I stutter? I don’t think I did, especially since I’m writing all of this.

More seriously though, this is so wrong on so many levels – even if we ignore Olivia for a moment. And I know that Jam City didn’t think twice about any of that, but it won’t stop me from pointing out how stupid it is.

Ok, so this is how the conversation between Jacob and MC went:

So, since MC actually started looking for the flat like days before starting their job, and they allegedly decided to live with Jacob “months ago” and “shortly after” MC’s graduation, I have to assume that it was decided before MC found their current flat. And that means that MC was probably looking for a flat for two – whether it meant an additional room or just more space. Then they kept paying for the flat bigger than they needed, they were preparing for the needs of a blind person… only to hear that THEIR “DEAR” BROTHER CHANGED HIS FUCKING MIND. And to make it even worse, he didn’t even inform us about it. He just… made a decision. He basically said:

“I changed my mind, and I didn’t even bother to tell you about it because that’s how little I care about anyone who’s not me.”

If someone did something like that to me in real life, I’d be absolutely fuming, and I wouldn’t even hesitate before kicking that person out of my life. Again, I know JC didn’t think about it this deep and they probably came up with the whole idea just now, but… how the hell nobody realised that they portrayed Jacob as an even bigger jerk than he already was??

As for Olivia, I guess that V1Ch7 basically confirmed that Jacob lives with her:

And again, it only shows that he’s a fucking jerk. Because imagine that you decide to take care of your blind friend, you come home after a long day of work, you cook for them… and then they fucking complain that your chicken is too dry. Like, what the fuck, Jacob? And before you say that maybe it was more like a joke, or that you can’t get better at cooking without genuine feedback…

OLIVIA WAS SO BOTHERED BY THAT “CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM” THAT SHE KEPT THINKING ABOUT IT FOR THE NEXT DAY. AT WORK. And her face says that she doesn’t think it was a dick move, even if she doesn’t want to admit it yet.

Also, I really don’t understand what JC was thinking because like… they were never even shown as particularly close friends? You could expect that they would get close after they cleared things up between them, but the writers simply did show it. He doesn’t even like her puns! (Of course he doesn’t, he’s the worst.)

Sure, Olivia did visit him at the hospital, but it felt to me more like… just a polite thing to do. I mean, it’s not like she was spending there days or anything. So like… What the hell? It’s just random.

Finally, as for the romance aspect… Yeah, I’m afraid that JC will take it in this direction. Because otherwise, why Jacob wouldn’t want to tell us right away who’s his roommate? And I guess I don’t have to say at this point that I think it’s disgusting, revolting, stupid, and simply makes no sense.

I think that in-game Jacob should cease to exist, and Olivia deserves SO MUCH BETTER – both when it comes to a roommate and a partner. In-game Jacob is a jerk, he's childish, he's egoistic. He's the worst.

(Also, how it’s possible he's even uglier as an adult?)

[crossdressingdeath]

(1/3) You know what would be a fun post-canon fic (even if the inter-sect politics aren't quite right for it)? Give WWX a few years to settle in to his new life and start being a genius inventor again and then have the other sects try to pull the same post-sunshot smear campaign that worked so well against JC. 'Oh the Lans are getting too powerful/they haven't even tried to reign in WWX/WWX is too dangerous--look at what he's still doing with demonic cultivation.'

(2/3) Except this time it doesn't work. Because even without LWJ's staggering devotion to his husband and the juniors' adoration, the Lans just plain aren't stupid enough to throw away the powerful necromancer who they have the loyalty of because he married into their sect. Gossip is forbidden and they're going to keep their newfound genius, actually. LQR himself--prominent disapprover of WWX and president of the 'why did it have to be him, Wangji?' club from the start--stands up and invites

(3/3) the rest of the cultivation world to come fight them for their necromancer and yes, they will put the necromancer on the battlefield, remember how that went last time? And he does this in front of WWX, who gets a very vivid demonstration of what it means to actually have the backing and support and protection of the sect he's part of. All with an implied side-serving of JC realising it would have been exactly that easy to keep WWX on side all those years ago.

The Lans: You want to argue with the necromancer? Is that what you want, you want to tell the necromancer what to do? You expect us to just go with that? No, no thank you, he’s our genius necromancer and we’re keeping him. WWX: Oh, so this is what actual support feels like.

Of course the depressing aspect is that even knowing LWJ and the juniors love him WWX would still think on at least some level that they were going to abandon him because that’s the only metric he has for “someone he is sure loves him being faced with the disapproval of the sects over him”. The Lans will do a great deal of fussing over him on realizing that despite loving and trusting them WWX thought they were going to abandon him because that’s the only experience he has with needing his family’s protection.

[winepresswrath]

The other day I saw an anti Jc post talking about JLs reaction at in the last episode to Jc raising his hand in anger at his comment about wwx and they were making it out that JL lied about Jc never hitting him ‘because the flinch there proves it’s not true’ (super don’t agree with that) and I was just reading your recent reblog about Jc&jgy parenting styles and realised that for me that flinch reads as having far more to do wth the fact that JL was literally just violently held hostage by his ‘gentle uncle’ who turns out is actually a super manipulative lier & killer and his entire understanding of the world and the people he loves has just been shaken to its core in a particularly intense & probably traumatic way. So to me that moment is JL not knowing what’s true/real and what he can trust about the people he thinks he knows/the people who raised him. Its not that he flinched because he’s learnt from previous experience with JC. He flinches because in that moment there is a very real fear for him that possibly everything has been a lie and he is about to be betrayed and hurt again by another person who raised him. He literally doesn’t know what to expect from his uncles because the faith he has always had in them being good and loving to him has just been shattered by jgy. (Sorry this is probably not well written/articulated. It’s very late for me but I can’t get this off my mind)

He's had a really rough few days in general! Aside from being violently held hostage, he was also kidnapped, attacked by a mob of fierce corpses, and stabbed a man he later decided he preferred unstabbed. He came across his aunt's dead body, was told that she'd killed herself, and then found out his uncle probably murdered both her and his cousin. Then he had to watch his his other uncle get his arm chopped off before being attacked by Mingjue (terrifying even when Mingjue was alive!) because his undead spirit has trouble distinguishing between relatives. And while Jin Guangyao doesn't die directly in front of him I'm sure what he did see of the lead up to his death was plenty traumatic. It's been a lot! Also Jiang Cheng in an honestly pretty shitty moment does actually raise his hand and telegraph pretty firmly that he's going to hit him, which in conjunction all of the other security destroying violence going on in his life could reasonably upset and frighten a kid. That would be worth so much therapy, were therapy an option. I think you are correct that that's a much more likely theory than "Jin Ling chose to lie to Wei Wuxian/Mo Xuanyu in a spontaneous expression of outrage that referenced Jiang Cheng for no reason." He could have just as easily said that the man in question, a disgraced criminal he's just done a solid, is not allowed to hit him. He doesn't really have a reason to specify that no one (not even his uncle) has ever done such a thing unless it's true and part of what's fueling his indignation. From a narrative perspective, I also think the purpose of that moment is pretty clearly to give us context for Jin Ling and Jiang Cheng's relationship, but hey! People are going to arrive at their own interpretations of the text.

[freddiekluger]

please drop the essay length analysis Judas and Jesus (extra gay Swedish edition), O great and knowledgeable monarch of our times

alright, you ask i deliver! please excuse any typos, my eyes aren't exactly working rn

welcome to my probably super subjective but correct analysis, aka

Judas Was Right and Jesus Was A Victim (At Least, In Swedish)

Before we get started, a couple points: i’ll try to avoid comparisons to other specific productions, i’ve only seen the other recorded 2012 british version which i didn’t like for reasons including but not limited to the amount of white people with dreadlocks. Also, my understanding of swedish is limited to a couple words and phrases, so most of the lyrics i reference will be english subtitles from Ola Salo’s swedish translation and therefore might not be the most accurate !

There’s so much i could cover in this, but for now i’m going to focus on how jesus and judas are portrayed in the 2014 swedish arena tour of Jesus Christ Superstar (JCS) starring Ola Salo as Jesus and Peter Johansson as Judas, along with how this production more implicitly views god. 

From the opening number, translated into swedish as En Dimmig Himmelsdröm (A Foggy Heaven’s Dream), Peter Johansson’s acting and semantic differences in the lyrics present us with a deeply sympathetic portrayal of Judas. Looking purely at language, the english equivalent Heaven On Their Minds instantly paints Judas as much more of a faithless doubter- lyrics exclusive to the english version like “all your followers have gone blind / too much heaven on their minds” and “they think you’re the new messiah / and they’ll hurt you when they find they’re wrong” strongly enforce Judas’ main motivation for his actions being that he has less belief in Jesus and God’s plan than any of the other disciples with strong statements judging the other disciples for following him and claiming that Jesus ISN’T the messiah. The swedish translation doesn’t paint exactly the same picture- the focus of Judas’ number becomes his fear for Jesus’ wellbeing, not because he isn’t the messiah (the production remains fairly ambiguous on this point), but because Jesus can’t cope. The root of Judas’ concern comes from fear for Jesus’ wellbeing, and the disciples are referenced as regularly misunderstanding and wilfully twisting Jesus’ words. The swedish equivalent lyrics for the above examples are “they say, “jesus is god’s son” / but you know how people can change” (judas isn’t concerned with truth, just the danger that jesus will be in if the tide turns), and “the kingdom of heaven is within us, that’s what you said / bu they sew it, stitch by stich into some kind of foggy heaven’s dream”. Judas is showing that he HAS been listening and cares for Jesus’ teachings, but ‘they’ [his disciples] are turning them into something else entirely, and Judas’ worries that the support of the masses is fragile at best- the lines “and everything you say gets twisted by your lackeys / it will be anything but what you’ve said”  and “you are being used by people who want you in their battle” reinforces this again. When combined with Peter Johansson’s tough but tender performance, in which he dances between disdain for Jesus, the institution, and affection for Jesus, the man (an important distinction), Judas is the harsh realist doing his best to look out for the man he loves. The way he takes Jesus hands and looks at him with love and urgency straight away establishes that his motivations are pure- Judas is doing what he thinks is best, even though it feels like no one will listen to him. 

That was long, but En Dimmig Himmelsdröm is the perfect character introduction for Judas. He’s not totally unrecognisable, still delivering digs about ‘Jesus, the little carpenter’s son’, his manner is still rough and at this point we’re not sure whether or not the claims he makes about the disciples have any truth to them, BUT we can also see how much Jesus means to him, an important point that give context to the intensity of their future arguments and really makes the whole story much more heartbreaking.

This brings me to Ola Salo’s Jesus. Delightfully camp and queercoded, Judas describes him as being caught up in his own magic and mystery and buckling under the pressure, and he’s not entirely wrong. Throughout the first act, Jesus basks in the luxuries that being messiah can give him (the oils Mary paid for using disciple funds that were supposed to go towards helping the poor, him absolutely thriving in the shopping cart in What’s the Buzz?), and is shown actively avoiding any reminders of the seriousness of his position. He’s sick of the disciples asking him for a plan, he chooses the comforting Mary, who’s theme consists of telling Jesus everything is okay and he doesn’t need to think about anything, over Judas, who is less perhaps ‘cosy’ but is actively trying to warn and protect Jesus from an awful fate. During The Temple, he starts to crack as he’s overcome by the followers begging him to make him well, fear in his eyes as he raises his arms while frozen on the spot trying to avoid being devoured by the frenzy in desperate need of a messiah. Judas’ point about Jesus buckling under the pressure is starting to look more and more reasonable, and the dashes of showbiz campness add to the sense that much of Jesus is a persona constructed for the masses to give himself enough distance to prevent him from being crushed by the weight of God entirely. Jesus, the institution, prances around, lays his hands on his followers, and projects an air of easygoing calm. Jesus, the man, is scared and alone, and Jesus, the man, really comes out in Last Supper, but before we get there, I want to circle back to the Jesus/Mary/Judas thing.

Jesus, Mary, and Judas are presented as a love triangle: so much so, that Judas seeing Mary sing of her love for Jesus (I Don’t Know How To Love Him) is actually played as the inciting incident that sends him to the pharisees. Judas, the picture of the jealous lover, storms onto the scene, breaking them up and attempting to kiss Jesus, who instead shoves him to the ground in disdain. Judas, who is perhaps a little controlling, realises that any influence he had over Jesus has gone, and it’s likely a combination of jealousy and the knowledge that Jesus won’t stop that prompts him to head to the pharisees. In his meeting with the pharisees (known in english as Damned For All Time, although that phrase doesn’t appear once in the swedish), Judas’ expresses outright that “I’m the one who sees / Jesus, he can’t handle it anymore” “the truth is that this hysteria is making him lose control”, once he can get past explaining how much this plan of action feels like a last resort. He never even verbally or physically accept the pharisees’ offer of money, he denies it twice before it is eventually thrown over him after he reluctantly gives them the date and time to find Jesus- we never even see him pick it up, unlike other productions which show Judas grabbing for the cash and place a higher emphasis on Judas making sure he ‘won’t be damned for all time’, painting Judas as far more self serving. When it comes to Jesus, Judas is active- he’s running around trying to help, caressing him, embracing him, grabbing his hand, kissing him. They share countless moment of intimacy, especially at the start, establishing the fondness between them instead of instantly jumping to their conflict. When it comes to Mary (and admittedly, this is partially because she’s a secondary character- don’t get me wrong I still love her and Gunilla Backman does a brilliant job), she’s much more passive. Other than the much more gentle kisses in I Don’t Know How To Love Him and her penchant for dabbing Jesus’ forehead, she’s mostly just ‘there’. She cares for Jesus after the fact, and even when performing acts of intimacy like the oil and the kiss, she maintains a lot of physical distance- her songs touch on this as, much like Jesus (admittedly for different reasons), she actively distances herself from feelings to protect herself, so naturally she literally places distance between herself and the object of her love.

This brings me back to Last Supper, Gethsemane ( I Only Want to Say), and the kiss of death that broke all of our hearts. Throughout this segment, this is when Jesus, the man, really comes through, and it’s devastating. In Last Supper, he properly expresses the sheer amount of loneliness he feels, reiterating how he feels everyone will forget about him once he’s gone, and doesn’t really care about him as a man (”for you, my blood is not worth more than wine / for you, my body is not worth more than bread” “you will have forgotten me as soon as i give up my life”). This devolves into the disciples fighting each other and, you guessed it, ignoring him. For the first time, Jesus meaningfully lets out his anger, and as it turns to Judas, Judas does the same. Because of the set up of their complicated romantic relationship and the stakes involved, the amount of personal attacks and anger that comes out of Jesus and Judas’ repeated fights (which get physical) make complete sense- Jesus’ frustrations come from the fact that his entire fate has been predetermined and to him, Judas is just another instrument in the ways he’s been controlled (both with Judas being his betrayer, but also the way that Judas’ constant advice and interference with Jesus��� life (most obviously, the mary thing) are acted by Ola Salo as becoming increasingly frustrating to Jesus)- these frustrations are directed at their real cause, God, in Gethsemane. Judas’ frustrations come from the fact that no matter how hard he tries to help Jesus and keep him safe, Jesus keeps rejecting his efforts resulting in “all that we’ve built up [being] destroyed”- Judas’ heart hasn’t just been broken by Jesus rejecting him romantically, but on every level. Here, he’s actually shown to be the disciple most passionate about helping people practically and long term, being the only one concerned about Mary taking money which was supposed to help people, manipulated by the pharisees with the promise of doing good for the masses, and criticising Jesus for how they could be doing so much for people, ending his part of Last Supper with “every time i look at you i ask myself why you let all your things go so wrong? / all i ever wanted was to help you”. 

This is also the point where Judas’ claims about the disciples are essentially confirmed, and this productions intent to portray Judas as more of a tragic hero become absolutely clear. In the english version, the disciples chorus remains virtually the same each time it appears, generally being far too calm considering their leader is about to die, revealing their aspirations to be apostles, and their intent to write the gospels to be remembered. the swedish translation still achieve this, but with variations from chorus to chorus it becomes much more poignant. i’m just going to stick to ttwo, which are choruses 1 and 3. In chorus 1, lines roughly translate to “i’ve always wanted to be an apostle / life is so nice when you’re saved/ then when we’ve got time we’ll write the gospels / then everything will be the way we want”-  the apostles declaring that life is so good when you’re saved supports Judas’ opening statement that they care more about some idea of heaven than anything else, not to mention ignoring the absolute horrors that Jesus will have to go through to be saved, while the final line about the gospels introduces their intent to change whichever details they need to make ‘everything the way we want’: once again, exactly what Judas warned us of in En Dimmig Himmelsdröm. In chorus 3, taking place after Judas storms out for the last time, these lines change to “never really liked that judas / never saw what jesus saw in him / then, when we’ve got time we’ll write the gospels / and we’ll angle it so he gets all the blame”. Judas as a sympathetic character is confirmed here, as the disciples straight up admit how they don’t like Judas anyways and intend to write him as a villain (also inadvertently admitting that, since they have to write the gospels to make it look like only Judas’ fault, Judas isn’t really the sole one responsible for everything that is to come). It’s deeply unsettling, and for me was the point where I really began to question how good any of these disciples were, and by extension, how good is this production’s God if his truly sanctified followers are acting like this?

Jesus vents out all of his anger and desperation in Gethsemane. He acknowledges his own powerlessness and begs him to change the plan, but with the dark stage and no response (along with Ola Salo’s spectacular acting) it becomes clear that if anyone is there, they’re certainly not listening (”you, who have all the power / can you please change the plan / for i can already feel the pain burning in me”). It’s worth mentioning that a lot of the imagery in this swedish version is much more intense than the english, both in this song and the production as a whole. Jesus plainly calls god “thoughtless”, begging to understand, and it’s that this point we realise that he agrees with much more of what Judas has been saying than he’s been letting on- Jesus’ faith appears to be the only thing keeping him from listening to Judas and running away. Judas’ messages about people misunderstanding Jesus’ words also come out (”you care that everyone sees / but not that anyone understands”), and his eventual agreeing to die is played less as an inspiring act of faith, and more an act of desperation as he realises, he realise has no other choice. In this song, we see just how much of Judas Jesus has valued and taken on board, and that his air of carefree aloofness which frustrated Judas was, as we’ve already touched on, a complete act. The line “might as well finish what i’ve... what YOU’VE started” is absolutely miserable, reinforcing one of the major themes of this production: the idea that Jesus and Judas were both just ordinary men tormented by futures defined by forces out of their control. Just as Jesus has absorbed Judas’ logic, as an audience so we have, and it’s difficult to view the rest of the play’s events as anything other than an immense and unnecessary act of cruelty.

we’re almost done i promise!

Even knowing what Judas has/will do, Jesus still greets him with love. Judas, still under the impression that Jesus will be okay and that he’s doing what’s best, approaches him with the utmost tenderness, and the kiss is a beautiful signifier of two things. For Jesus, the return of his love for Judas shows his realisation in Gethsemane that Judas isn’t the one who’s sealed his fate and has only being trying to help, it’s god himself who has decided Jesus’ future. For Judas, the kiss shows that despite all of the anger and frustration that has been pouring out of him, he truly does love Jesus, and the way he cradles the scared and alone Jesus to his chest afterwards shows just how much he wishes he could be the one to help him and keep him close. Even with all their arguments and dysfunction, here Jesus and Judas find comfort in each other, and it almost seems like everything will end up alright. It’s in this moment that Judas and Jesus are most identifiable not as enemies, or as villain and hero, but as archetypal lovers from a Shakespearean tragedy. Neither of them set out to hurt each other, but through miscommunications, their own flaws, and external forces (both natural and supernatural), their love is simply never to be. Furthermore, in the following torture and spectacle, everything that Judas predicted for Jesus is about to come true. Another detail I find interesting is the way that Jesus and Judas both sport black nail polish, leather pants, and similar length hair: along with just looking cool as hell, the similarities really reinforce how close they are and how much they influence each other- it feels like a contemporary version of carrying a cameo or a lock of your lover's hair with you, a way for 'star crossed lovers' to keep a piece of their beloved no matter what.

The disaffected persona of Jesus, the institution, comes back as he’s taken by the authorities and subsequently insulted, degraded, and whipped. Also the swedish version of The Arrest, when the chorus starts singing questions, contains this dick joke and I think we all deserve it: “why were you dating a whore? / talk about a huge magic wand!”

Skipping forward to Judas’ Death, this is where both his character and the production’s conception of god beautifully (and miserably) align. When Judas runs to the pharisees, minor semantic changes (along with the genuine concern and great acting from Peter Johansson) reinforce that this Judas genuinely didn’t know that Jesus would be beaten and sentenced to death the way he has been, and Judas’ concern regarding how things look is played less as ‘oh no people will hate ME!’, but how having sentenced the man you love to death is one nightmarish thing, but for everyone to think you did it knowingly and willingly and then congratulate you for it is unthinkable. Where the english shows Judas’ attempting to evade responsibility for Jesus death, the swedish is more focused on Judas’ guilt, horror, and regret. The english “I’d save him all the suffering if I could / don’t believe our good / save him if I could” is swapped in swedish for “If anyone should die here I should / don’t say I’m good / better if I died”. While the english statements are somewhat empty (sure, Judas says he’d save Jesus’ suffering if he could, but he can’t so we’ll never truly know) and are still focused on Judas’ attempt to construct himself as a good guy, the swedish translation has Judas admit his guilt (even if it’s not really his fault), and make the promise of “better if i died” which, given the name of this sequence, he later delivers on. When english Judas sings “Christ, I’d sell out the nation / For I have been saddled with the murder of you”, swedish Judas sings “Jesus, I’ve been deceived / because of my act your blood’s now being spilt”, and instead of ending this first section with “I should be dragged through the slime and the mud”, swedish jesus returns to the theme of character assasination with “i will be cursed as the one behind your murder”. 

The swedish translation of the next rework of I Don’t Know How to Love Him also places much more emphasis on Judas’ genuine romantic love for Jesus- we’d be here for hours if i listed everything but here are a few key contrasts. The english has Judas sing “I don’t know how to love him /  I don’t know why he moves me”, whereas the swedish has Judas crying while singing “how do I show my love / all I want is to be close to you”. Along with acknowledging Judas already loves Jesus, the entirety of this segment is shifted from Judas singing about Jesus in the third person ‘he’, to a direct address. Judas isn’t performing his sadness, or venting his emotions, he’s emitting one last desperate cry to the man he loves as he sobs on a stage completely shrouded in darkness, and it’s devastating. Peter Johansson lets his voice run raw as he’s belting, and interrupts lines with sobs, and this Judas answers the question of “do you love me too? do you care for me?” with a quiet “no”- Judas is about to go to his death convinced Jesus must hate him, just as Jesus will face his knowing his love inadvertently put him there.

We finally reach Judas’ actual death, and the production’s far more ambiguous (if not negatively geared) depiction of god comes to a head. Judas’ screaming at god the moment he realises that his god essentially forced Judas to be the one to kill Jesus (an act of ultimate cruelty given their love) comes across as horrifying in it’s validity, unlike in other english language productions where it follows the more common characterisation of Judas being an unbeliever who can’t take responsibility for his own actions. When he spits on the ground, screaming “you have murdered me!”, we can’t help but agree- Judas was trying everything he could to stop Jesus from dying, and yet here he is. Most notably, Judas doesn’t set up his own suicide- a noose literally descends from the heavens, already tied, and Judas is literally trapped between the edge of the stage, and the symbol of death behind him. Much like he didn’t choose to kill Jesus, Judas has no choice in his own suicide- it’s suggested to merely be another part of the plan god has for him, and Judas raising his arms to form a crucifixion pose before he finally turns and jumps, disappearing into the depths of the theatre as the rope trails down (somewhat evocative of a leap to hell), highlight the sick joke. Much like Jesus begging in Gethsemane, a plea with god that in anyway implies fault or cruelty is met with silence followed by a death sentence. 

When Judas reappears to the broken and bloodied Jesus in Superstar, he appears as more of a twisted hallucination than the literal spirit of Judas. He’s the opposite of everything he was in life, draped in colour, surrounded by red lighting instead of the signature blue, his hair quite literally let down, joking and dancing. Despite singing about him, Judas virtually ignores Jesus for the whole song except when he’s taunting him, snatching his hand away after a broken and desperate Jesus reaches out for the image of his beloved (refuting Judas’ belief that Jesus would die hating him), along with the swedish additions of Judas repeatedly addressing him as “little Jesus”. Where the living Judas was serious, sometimes harsh but always well intention, often paying more attention to Jesus than he received, this Judas is the opposite: light hearted but cruel, not caring about Jesus one bit. It’s somewhat an inversion of the beginning of JCS, where the tormented Judas was constantly reaching out to Jesus, and often met with scorn and insult (see: most of their arguments, this line from Everything’s Alright: “the thought is beautiful but quite unrealistic / yes, even quite stupid”). As the song goes on, and even as Jesus is crucified, the victorious scoring of the Superstar theme ends up reinforcing the cruelty and questioning of god distinctive of this production: Ola Salo’s Jesus is one of the bloodiest Jesus’s (Jesii?) I’ve been able to find, with blood covering his torso, his arms, and all over his face, not in passive dribbles, but violent ‘swooshes’ spreading out from his eyes, emphasising the fear and pain contained within them. As the music suggests how great and wonderful Jesus’ death is, the images straight out of a horror movie before us don’t seem to match up: as both Judas and Jesus question, if no one is understanding what Jesus is saying, why kill him? instead of making a point, you’re ensuring that the falsehoods continue to circulate, unless spreading the true message isn’t really the intent at all. or, simply that Jesus was wrong: his interpretation and teachings of god were far too kind and practical, and the true god really is the one that he briefly saw in the garden of Gethsemane, and that Judas saw before his death- a cruel and vindictive god using them for his own sick purposes. If you're a strong Christian, I'm sure you could watch this production and still believe that God was right (although I think Jesus and Judas being in love counts as blasphemy), but I think in doing so you'd lose part of what makes this production so hard hitting and, as i keep saying, devastating.

that’s pretty much it for this one! i feel like jesus and judas as a queer couple is less significant to this production than the fact that it’s specifically jesus and judas that are in love - they don’t face explicit homophobia as such, although i do think the paratextual and historical associations of queerness (both with them each looking visibly queer, and them as a couple) adds a beautiful dimension by subverting the standard christian teaching of Jesus’ sacrifice as “a love that changed the world” and making the love that truly could have been transformative (and was, to a degree) the love between Jesus and another man, not to mention the way in which queerness is often viewed as radical perfectly upholding the ‘radical’ views of god and the story of Jesus shown in the production. Why wouldn’t the love between two men be the love which has us questioning god, faith, and that which many of us have been taught since birth? Ola Salo has talked about how he’s able to be positive and negative towards christianity, along with how he wanted Jesus and Judas to really represent two sides of the same coin (’faith and intelligence’), and being bisexual along with having alluded to being raised christian (not to mention Breaking Up With God, a song by his band The Ark), it’s not surprising he’s managed to present such a nuanced and layered interpretation of Jesus Christ Superstar that even me, a trans exvangelical, can fall in love with.

UPDATE: @bands-and-hobbits has just let me know that Ola's dad was a priest! Apparently he's said that he liked the organs and the music, but that was all when it comes to christianity, which (when combined with Ola stating in interviews that the JCS soundtrack has been one of his favourite albums since he was 14) makes a lot of sense about the level of familiarity he had with the text giving him confidence to go in and make changes to really capitalised off of some of the themes that are hinted at in the english version- you have enough information to understand how everything works together, but aren't so dedicated to preserving belief that you feel you can't improve/change things (and my god are we glad he did)

[sharkiethrts]

Hello, I really your writing! ❤️ since Levi is seen as unattractive in the aot world, would you write a scenario of a fem reader who talks with the other corps ladies about attractive men & the reader can’t believe that they don’t find him attractive & he overheard or just entered the room or so? Cause damn, Levi needs some praise & love 🥺

Oh my, thank you so much! And yes!!! He needs some praise and love! :((

LEVI’S SIGNIFICANT OTHER FINDS HIM EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE, WHICH HE OVER HEARS.

SCENARIO: Levi almost wonders why you even chose him out of anyone else. Almost. His reasoning would be that he was humanity’s strongest soldier and you took interest in him because of that title. He doesn’t give up on stepping himself down, despite how you praise him whenever both of you were alone. All those you’re so adorable, or you’re the love of my life doesn’t stop him for being doubtful of your blossoming feelings for him. 

  But he didn’t dare question you face to face, as his feelings for you are blossoming as well, growing larger minute by minute whenever he was around you, he absolutely adores the words you say, the things you do and the way you cherished him for who he is. And who he will be.

  So breaking his own heart by finding out the ‘truth’ which he buried at the back of his head is a big no-no. He’s definitely not playing that way with himself. And neither are you. He finds himself doubting himself, opting to do better and wanting to impress you, from personality to abilities. 

  If his past self were to see him right now, his past self would feel the second-hand embarrassment, calling his future self ‘pathetic’ or ‘a disgrace to humanity’. A simpleton by all means. Although this man doesn’t show it, he’s more than willing to do things for you.

  He doesn’t trust himself much, overall. He has an overbearing anxiety, a insecurity that he opts and hopes to hide from anyone. He finds it hard to let things go the way they are. Hoping to go above and beyond, he fights towards the practising technique that most humans would dread. He, himself dreads that technique as well. But you leaving him would be a nightmare that lays in his subconscious as he holds you by his side every night.

  Although things are peaceful, the anxiety in his heart never rests. So imagine his surprise when he hears it. “Levi Ackerman is the most attractive man in my heart, I’m more than lucky to have him by my side.”

  He found his heart blooming roses and sunflowers, lilac and vines curve each line in his heart, creating a pattern that writes “I am absolutely in love with this woman in front of me.”

  Although he finds it hard to believe and create an inner monologue that speaks just how wonderful, extraordinary you are. He finds it hard to speak his mind whenever you praise him, see him as above and beyond, see him as the love of your life. He finds a smile carved on his face regardless. He knows you’re the one he has been waiting for: His true love ending.

  “Seriously, Y/N?” Your friends laugh in disbelief, amused by how smitten you are by a single man that drove your heart beyond its measures, “Did the cupid put some damned spell on you? Look how small his eyes are!” Another one joined in. Though she doesn’t mean harm, it did cause you a little discomfort at how much people view Levi as ‘unattractive’. 

  “He’s pretty short,” The blonde girl says. Causing Levi to jolt in annoyance, “He has a huge amount of eye bags under his eyes, it’s so distracting,” She suddenly claps her hand in annoyance, “He’s no match to JC’s pretty blue eyes. They look so tired that they look grey. Wait,” She widens her eyes jokingly, creating a funny banter atmosphere that every girl in the room giggled at, the funny expression on her face almost made you crack a smile. But with what she’s saying, you couldn’t, “Or are they really grey? That would be boring as hell, not gonna lie.”

  Every girl in the room, except for you, started laughing at the extremely dry joke. Most people are just laughing to join the wagon. Hence, the laughter.

  “He’s always frowning,” The brunette points out.

  You sighed at her words,. Your best friend looks at you warily as she places a hand on your shoulder, telling you to not fret over the mean girls who are plainly dry and insecure. They’re just being rude at this point, “Levi smiles too. He smiles prettily,” Your best friend suddenly says, shocking both you and Levi, “He smiles a lot when he’s around N/N. Isn’t that what you all want? A man that treats you differently than how he treats others?”

  That caused the laughter to die down as you gave your best friend a bright smile, she returns it with a kind grin. 

  Levi suddenly decides to treat your best friend a little less coldly.

HEADCANON AFTER SCENARIO:

-> I see Levi a little insecure about his abilities, looks and height at some point. So he definitely needs a little reassurance about his worth.

-> He would find himself melting at your words and views of him, a smile would never leave his face as he hears you banter with your friends, completely standing by the point: That your man, is the most handsome man in the world.

-> Lastly: He wouldn’t tell you that he heard your conversation.

-> He’s too flustered to let you know that he completely melted and his heart is completely soft at your actions and words. 

-> But he would be ten times sweeter than usual: Going to bed ten times earlier to fill you with warmth in bed, or maybe a little flustered when he realises that how you look at him is definitely different from anybody else that looks at him.

-> Adoring eyes, pleased smile, fingers soothing his skin as they carve his perfectly structured jawline, up and down. 

-> He just doesn’t realise that he looks at you the exact same way you look at him. Neither do you. 

BONUS: In this world, it seems a little more bearing when he’s around you. He doesn’t have to be the best of himself, nor does he have to impress you. Because he soon realises quite quickly with your actions and your words: That with the way you look at him, his existence itself is enough to put you on your toes and make you fall in love. 

  He thinks you are his solace. He views you as his blanket that provides him comfort. And now, every night, he’d hold you and first prayers he’d give out to the God that he doesn’t believe existed when he was younger, “Please, don’t take her away from me. I’m begging you completely.”