Tumgik
#jesus christ Tumblr is gonna flag this
unhonestlymirror · 5 months
Text
How to recognise organized harassment on tumblr (on example from hetalia, the most normal fandom):
First of all, it often starts with "Block this person!" Often with many exclamation marks. Never "please be aware". That's not the accusing who should be responsible for your decisions to block/not block.
Secondly,
Tumblr media
There are too many accusations at once. This one example of wording sounds hilarious. There is some recognisable pattern in such a kind of harassment: you are necessarily being accused of transphobia + racism + islamophobia/zionism. All these accusations in a 1 post at once are a red flag, you should check the information very precisely and objectively. Otherwise, you have a very high risk of participating in harassment and misinformation's spread about innocent people.
Like, I've seen callouts about tankies/vatņiki and they are VERY different from organized harassment.
Thirdly, if there is more text from the accusing than actual screens/links - that's also a red flag - you shouldn't share the post immediately. Those who harass innocent people want you to believe that if you don't share the callout post right here, right now, the world is gonna collapse. It's not. Check the information.
Fourthly,
Tumblr media
Wtf is this. It's not even recent? You are just bored and you want to make a fuss? Red flag. I would not trust the author after this. Five sentences ago, you encouraged us to "block this person!!!" - and now you say "I'm urging y'all not to block"? Sure, grandma, let's get you to bed.
Tumblr media
No, my dear, the only person with dangerous views trying to hide behind "valid criticism" is you. Once again, "just block this person", right after "don't block this person".
Anyway, organized harassment doesn't necessarily have a lot of profanity because assholes became a bit smarter. Organised harassment makes an accent on rather the personality of the accused than the actual deeds. Organised harassment uses the Pontius Pilate's rhetoric. Organised harassment makes it a show, a Broadway musical, "Jesus Christ Superstar", leaves the accused no opportunity to explain themself, and leaves the people no opportunity to ask the accused.
There are surprisingly many people who cooperate with each other in harassment. Organized harassment makes its authors feel like they have some power. Maybe because in real life, they are too wretched.
Even if the accused actually has weird views, such a callout post makes me too disgusted with the author to share it.
Please don’t participate in harassment. Please check the information.
P.S. Accusations of zionism? Has anyone ever tried to ask Jews what is zionism? It's like accusing of patriotism. I accuse the author of the post of anti-Semitism.
P.S.S. I think I've seen the author sharing "how hetalia characters would sing in their native language" (AI covers), but I'm too lazy to search.
52 notes · View notes
oiiikawas · 1 year
Note
ok it's late and idk how else to express this but you're one of the few writers i follow who might understand this so i'm gonna vent for a minute before i go insane. this isn't targeted at you bc you're pretty good with this stuff.
ok. perhaps an unpopular opinion. fanfic writers need to get better at adding content warnings & tags to their works or start utilizing tumblr's built-in content filter label. because so help me jesus. i'm not a minor, however i normally do not *actively* seek out smut. anyway. what really grinds my gears lately is fanfic authors not tagging their explicit content and just letting it hang free. like no, i shouldn't be seeing KÖNIG RAILING READER or WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SUCK DIN DJARIN DRY without any content warning tags or filters applied. literally how hard is it to add "smut" or "explicit" or LITERALLY ANY OTHER INDICATOR to your tags so that my blacklist can pick up on this and filter your dumbass out. tumblr even makes it one step easier for y'all by just clicking a gotdamn button to show "hey! this has mature content! click here to view!" like my guy think of the minors that now have free access to this shit. i follow quite a few x reader tags, and lately authors have gotten so bad at adding content warnings or tags. not even a "minors dni" sometimes. like jesus christ first i gotta deal with authors that don't know how to add a read more to their 5k word fics, now this? y'all are getting flagged for missing a label now idgaf anymore you had your chance. use your filters and tags or i will hunt y'all for sport.
thanks eri i needed to get that out.
i totally understand your frustrations about this because i DO notice this a lot.
i really try to tag nsfw posts with the tag #mdni but sometimes i do slip up and forget (specially nsfw posts i reblog) so i can understand when writers accidentally forget to tag things.
BUT i also see a lot where writers will refuse to tag things and use content warnings or even trigger warnings which personally...i think the very least you can do is that.
and a lot of folks doesn't think its our responsibility to try to keep minors out of adult spaces which i definitely don't agree with. we're the adults, the responsibility shouldn't be on a kid.
2 notes · View notes
cha0s-incarnated · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
I posted 7,250 times in 2022
That's 6,752 more posts than 2021!
334 posts created (5%)
6,916 posts reblogged (95%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@the-hurt-you-sold
@punk-pins
@thekidsfromyestergay
@transs3xualmagg0t
@mychemicalraymance
I tagged 1,082 of my posts in 2022
#mcr - 101 posts
#my chemical romance - 78 posts
#alina's 10th unholyverse reading - 51 posts
#the outsiders - 43 posts
#gerard way - 32 posts
#ray toro - 21 posts
#dallas winston - 20 posts
#unholyverse - 20 posts
#frank iero - 17 posts
#oh my god - 11 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#yeah it might be a little larger than other people's but its very special and cool and has a fun shape to it and i loce it because its mine
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
My ideal gender is the Desolation Row music video.
100 notes - Posted August 6, 2022
#4
Anyway made these enjoy or don't lol
Tumblr media Tumblr media
See the full post
110 notes - Posted August 9, 2022
#3
Something I feel like I need to get off my chest is the fact that I've read HSM fanfiction. Then again, I don't feel guilty about it so maybe what I'm telling you to do is go read some because Jesus Christ a lot of those writers are pretty good.
166 notes - Posted January 18, 2022
#2
Tumblr media Tumblr media
See the full post
565 notes - Posted July 13, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
GUYS MY ENGLISH TEACHER HAS AN ACE FLAG UP IM GONNA CRY
Tumblr media
AMAZING SHFHFHDVHFFHFH
Edit: adding an ID!
[Image Description: A photo of a blackboard in a classroom. At the top of the blackboard, there are two prode flags: the rainbow pride flag, and the asexual pride flag. End Image Description]
769 notes - Posted February 22, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
1 note · View note
askwdwheeler · 4 years
Note
What presents did you get for Christmas?
I was not the only one celebrating Christmas this year. This was the first Christmas I spent with Luna, and Barnum made sure she was well and spoiled by old Saint Nicholas. He managed to gather up an abundance of Ellie’s old puppy toys — Luna has taken a particular liking to the squeaky elephant — and even went so far as to get Luna a custom collar and jacket, both sparkly red, and a top hat. His hintings at wanting her to become part of the circus act are gradually becoming more and more obvious.
As for me, I received a... rather remarkable pair of glittery red trousers. Yes... I told Barnum that I could not possibly wear them at the circus, for they would surely overshadow the ringmaster, and we can’t have that, can we? Don’t speak a word of this to him, but they are currently stuffed in the deepest corner of my bedroom closet.
Carlyle was insistent on giving everyone handmade gifts this year. I admire his efforts, and received a... unique... wooden statue. He says it’s a dog. I... well, I shall let you be the judge of that.
Tumblr media
Sometimes I wonder if he does this on purpose or if he truly does not realize what many of his ‘crafts’ end up resembling.
Lettie knitted me a wonderfully soft scarf, deep blue and gray in color. She has taken my dear sister under her wing, and Anne promises to have made me a matching snow cap and mittens to go with it by next Christmas. This year, she baked me a wonderful plate of chocolate chip and snickerdoodle cookies using the exact recipes our mother used to make. I don’t have the slightest idea where she managed to find the formulas, but I took one bite and immediately found myself back in our mother’s kitchen. I could almost see her there at the stove, fussing over her recipe and having Anne and I taste-test to make sure it was just right. It was a wonderful treat.
Charles... thought it brilliant to gift me a pink wig and hair dye, “to match my sister.” He still finds it humorous that he managed to dye my hair while I was aslee— what? No, that never happened. You have no proof.
Overall, it was a wonderful holiday despite the sickness that hit most of the troupe — somehow I managed to avoid most of it, save for a slight sniffle. Luna enjoyed her first Christmas, as did I, and it was a fun time filled, as cliché as it may be, with joy and laughter. The troupe is as much my family as anybody related by blood, and I could not ask for a better group of people to spend my time with.
—WD
4 notes · View notes
paula-of-christ · 3 years
Note
Hi! It's Alex! I nearly squealed when I saw that you used to be a Hellenistic Pagan. Unfortunately though, my parents were in the same room and were weirded out seeing me grin as big as I had!😂 I do believe that it is possible to work with angels. @thepastelpriestess and @theoi-crow are two pagan who also work with the Christian pantheon. @thepastelpriestess works with/worships both Mother Mary and Jesus Christ. I'd love to hear your opinions on them! Blessed be!😃
Alright like I said, was going to answer this on mobile but then the formatting was gonna SUCK and I wasn't going to be able to link to other posts.
So the biggest thing about worshiping the Abrahamic God is that He does not allow worship of other gods. Straight up, if you worship other gods as well as Him, it is a major offense to Him. If you take the Christian understanding of Jesus to mean that He is one part of a trinitarian God, meaning one God in 3 distinctions, then Jesus also takes offense. Mary, from a Christian perspective, is not a god or have any power of her own, much like what I said about angels in response to what you said to Nick, if you do "worship" Mary or the angels, it is an offense to them, because worship is reserved to God alone.
Read more because it got long oops.
The "Christian pantheon" is only God. Angels, Mary, the other saints are NOT worshiped and not TO BE worshiped. If you do worship them, it is an offense to not only God, but to the angels, to Mary, to the saints, because they are not objects of worship. The only power they can possibly have is through God and His grace.
Now, that being said, demons, can and have in the past, masqueraded as Mary or the saints, or even as an angel from above (since demons are fallen angels). They can, if you do not have the spiritual willpower to see past them, to disguise themselves like this. The biggest red flag I can give you that who someone is speaking to is actually a demon, is if they boast about it. Time and time again St. Paul tells us in the Christian scriptures that there is no boasting in something good that happens to you. The mystic saints, those who have communed with angels, with Mary, and those who have even seen heaven (St. John of the Cross, St. Theresa of Avila, St. Therese of Lisieux, St. Faustina, etc), that when we receive visions or dreams or speak with them, we very, very rarely feel compelled to tell everyone about it. It takes great spiritual strength to discern if it is God's will, as well as spiritual direction from a priest or someone more experienced in the Faith.
This is all to say, the authority that those tumblr users you mentioned have on whether you "can" worship Mary, Jesus in a "pantheon" is 0. They have 0 claims to Mary or Jesus or God or angels or the saints.
This brings me to my experience as a Hellenistic pagan. If you're interested you can read my conversion story here. But the biggest thing is that true paganism, doesn't actually worship more than one maybe two gods. You recognize the full pantheon of gods, but you do not ACTUALLY worship more than one, two if they are really similar gods. And, we know from antiquity, that there was no ruling consensus on which gods had laws above the others, we see this in Plato's Euthyphro. In this, Euthyphro, a priest of Zeus (because there were priests for different gods, you didn't worship all the gods), is trying to convince Socrates that he is right in bringing a legal case against his father, citing that Zeus, who killed his own father for doing wrong, would support him, and that it was the will of the gods (plural) that this be done. Socrates presses him on this issue, asking if all the gods would agree that this was a good thing for Euthyphro to do. They go back and forth for a bit, but ultimately the conclusion is made that this action, under a pagan system, cannot be good or evil without one, authoritative teaching on what is good or evil. It cannot be "what is loved by the gods" as Euthyphro says, because the different gods love different things. Later on, in The Republic, chapter 7, Plato, through the mouthpiece of Socrates, makes it clear that there must be only ONE god, supreme over all that acts as the moral judge of good and evil and this is what we should be teaching our children. In the hellinistic pagan view, this does not exist. While Zeus is "king" of the gods, he really has no more power than any of the other gods, and is immoral according to the other gods. Remember that The Republic was written prior to the Roman Empire spreading to Greece, so well before the advent of Christ. (Scholars say it was written probably around the time that the Jews were slaves in Egypt, and that the person Socrates or Plato, don't remember who, had traveled to Egypt for a time and spoke with some Jews on this monotheistic religion of theirs.)
So, even by a pagan point of view, paganism can't stand on it's own legs without running into a problem with there being no moral truth, If you take one god and then another, they will never agree on every point, for a god of the Sky will say that the sky is the best, whereas a god of war will say there is only greatness in war, etc etc. If you're going to practice paganism right, you should beholden to only one god. But really, you should be Catholic. If you can keep paganism from your parents, you should be able to keep Catholicism from your parents.
110 notes · View notes
lumini-317 · 3 years
Text
Hello!
This will be my official “introductory” post!
My real name is Erica, but I go by many names. My nickname repertoire includes but is not limited to: Lumi, Lumini, Cricket (I have a habit of rubbing my feet together, lmao), Jinx, Eri, Er, EriJoy, Sunbaeby, and Aceir (my real name but in alphabetical order).
This is my first ever Tumblr blog. I’ve had it for a while but have rarely posted anything, that along with the fact that I’m on mobile is kind of a mess so I apologize for mistakes and all that.
I have 3 older brothers, an older sister, and a younger brother.
I’m an ambivert. Sometimes I love hanging out with bigger groups of people, other times I dread it.
I’ve taken the “16personalities” test 4 times and all 4 put me in the “Diplomat” category, however I got “Advocate” (INFJ) 2 times, and “Protagonist” (ENFJ) and “Mediator” (INFP) 1 time each.
I am LGBTQ+. I’m asexual, aro+panromantic flux, and while I feel like I’m genderfluid, the changes are very subtle and so I sometimes just go with agender, gendervoid, or neutrois. It’s a lot less complicated that way. I’m ambiamorous, and also pronoun apathetic!
I love whump. I’ve loved it for as long as I can remember but only found the whump community maybe 3(?) years ago.
I also love K-Pop, C-Pop, J-Pop, and Asian dramas, mainly K-Pop and K-Dramas, though.
I’m a HUGE multistan. ATEEZ, SKZ, TBZ, EXO, BTS, Red Velvet, SHINee, iKON, MONSTA X, TWICE, TO1, WANNA ONE, SuperM, X1, MIRAE, Ciipher, Golden Child, Purple Kiss, BAE173, SF9, IU, ONEUS, ONEWE, The Rose, PIXY, LUCY, STAYC, WEi (which I pronounced as “way” for an embarrassingly long time), Dreamcatcher, Brave Girls, TXT, ENHYPEN, SNSD, KARD, AKMU, SHAUN, Gaho, NCT, GHOST9, 1team, SE7EN, Cross Gene, D1ce, AB6IX, CRAVITY, BLACKPINK, CIX, VIXX, f(x), 4Minute, CLC, YEZI, B.I, Wonho, (G)I-DLE, EVERGLOW, SEVENTEEN, BROOKLYN, Ha Hyunsang, DAY6, GOT7, Teen Top, BAP, TREASURE, UNIQ, etc! It goes on, far longer than I can list. I am also very much against fanwars, they disgust me.
I’m also a HUGE animal lover, and a big softie. I can’t even squish insects. I don’t care that they can’t feel pain and don’t experience emotions, I just can’t bring myself to. I make it my mission to save any type of animal I come across. I find toads in our koi pond and immediately pick them out and take them to a safe place. I help turtles across the road. I got a mouse out of a puddle and revived it, releasing it when it was healthy enough. I saw a snail on a piece of wood that was going to be thrown on a fire and carefully pulled it off and put it somewhere else. So far I’ve found 5 stray cats (Piper, Toothless, Felix, Kai, and Kit Kat—all were found as skinny, sickly kittens) and took them in, raising them as my own. I rescued a chipmunk from certain death-by-cat. I’ve even saved a few baby raccoons, ducklings, lizards, spiders, and snakes in my time. And I’ll keep doing so for as long as I live.
I love writing, drawing/sketching, and painting, however I’m not confident that I’m good at any of those things, lmao. I mean, I don’t think I’m the worst, but my finished “works” often leave me unsatisfied with my “skills”. But of course, that won’t stop me from trying to improve!
I’m a maladaptive daydreamer. This can cause issues in some places while helping me out in others. On one hand, it makes doing chores and such kind of difficult. Like one time I had to take care of my dad’s pigeons while he was fixing our shed and one time he pointed out how slow I was with the chores. His words were something along the lines of, “I’m already almost done with what I have to do and you’re still working with the pigeons.” Also, it (and maybe ADHD if I do have it?) made school a nightmare for me. But it’s also helpful because then during church it’s really easy to keep myself occupied while the pastors go on about their Magical Sky Daddy™’s son throwing a tantrum and killing a figtree because it didn’t have any figs and how that story should “challenge” us or something.
The characters in my daydreams are weird, though. They merge and separate with each other to make different characters depending on the situation. Most of them don’t have definite genders. Only a handful of them have names because they’re always merging and separating like some kind of Shadow Clone Masters or something. Stuff like that.
One of my characters is for sure a demi-boy, though, and his name is Kyler.
I brought this up because I was watching The Andy Griffith Show and Andy was giving Opie a lecture on how many poor kids there are in the world and used the ratio “one and a half boys per square mile”. Opie then says that he’s “never seen a half a boy before”. Kyler just sort of pops into (fake) existence, jumps off the couch, and throws his arms in the air while saying, “Half a boy, right here!” I burst out laughing. Thankfully it didn’t seem weird, since my parents started laughing at Opie and thought that I was just laughing at it, too.
Any-who.
If I daydream while I’m standing, I’ll often pace and gesture with my arms while moving my lips. Sometimes I’ll even whisper. If I’m sitting down, I usually fidget a lot (such as pick at my shirt and rub my feet together), stare into space, and move my lips or whisper. My family sometimes ask me, “Why are you whispering?” Or, “What are you grinning about?” And I just shrug because I don’t know how to explain it to them without risking them calling someone to pray over me, lmao. I mean, I wasn’t even allowed to have imaginary friends because that was “evil”. When I was about 7, I told my parents about my imaginary unicorn friend and they gave me a lecture and “prayed over me”. It was embarrassing and awkward for me.
I’m suspicious that I might have ADHD, but don’t have the money to actually get a professional diagnosis. I’m also too scared to ask my parents about it.
Speaking of which, my family and I don’t see eye-to-eye. I mean, they don’t know it because I’m good at hiding it, and they think I agree with mostly everything they do but boy, is it a mess.
You see, they’re evangelical conservative Christians. “LGBTQ+ people are going to hell”, “ThE LeFt ARe eViL AnD ARe TrYiNg To BrAiNwAsh OuR ChiLdrEn”, “Trump was sent by God”, “Intersex is fake”, “Women must submit to men”, “You should get married no later than in a year or ‘the temptation’ to have sex might become too much”, the whole bit.
Meanwhile I’m over here with my (imaginary) pride flags, just existing as an agnostic leftist who wants everyone to have equal rights, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation, and would rather redo my horrifically atrocious kindergarten closing program role than pray to a god who (if they/he/she/it/whatever exists) gives cancer to kids and killed millions of innocent animals and people in the Bible.
Tumblr media
But they have no idea that this is how I feel and now expect me to be baptized within the next month to show that I have “accepted Jesus Christ as my savior”. Yeah...that’s gonna be an awkward discussion...
Anyway, that’s just some things about me. Sorry that I got sidetracked a few times, lmao!
I look forward to posting more and maybe even making friends!
Thank you for reading (:
82 notes · View notes
hometothecanyonmoon · 3 years
Note
Feeling a bit philosophical so I have a question: what is life?
life is fears, and life is hopes, and life is dreams and life is fearing that those dreams will never get fulfilled. life is being selfish and rude and arrogant and hurting people. but life is also making a baby laugh, or helping an old lady with her groceries, or sobbing to the finale of your favourite show. life is speeding through the city at midnight and life is being amazed on your first plane ride and life is buying scented candles because you know your mother likes them. life is eating ice cream on the couch with your family after a bad day and life is falling asleep on the floor and your dog quietly cuddling you and life is butterflies in your stomach and life is the pride flag on your wall and being proud of yourself because fuck, you never thought you would ever live that dream. life is being angry with the world because jesus fucking christ this world is just a broken hazardous mess of shattered dreams and hopes and hatred and anger and selfishness and frustration and hurt, and really, what else are all those feelings if not sadness that had nowhere to go for a very long time? haven't we all been hurt? but then life is also golden hour and liking a picture of yourself for the very first time and hugging your friends and talking to your tumblr mutuals at 3 am and crying over fanfiction of two closeted boybanders and screaming and harming yourself, but also wanting to protect everyone you know from this cruel world and life is feeling like everything's right with the world and life is lazy mornings in your bedsheets and life is eventually realizing that no matter how much you want it to be, this world is not perfect and neither is anyone in it but you know what? they don't have to be, they're enough as they are and you're enough as you are and you'll grow up and your grandfathers and grandmothers won't always be there, nor will your dog, you only have a few years left with them and it's the last day of school and fuck, you love these people, they have made you who you are today, and you'll never admit it but you're going to really fucking miss them and hoping that you never forget every little detail about every classmate and teacher and the desk you scribbled on or the classroom you spent the best days of your life in, and isn't that just sad? you didn't realize it at the time but you're never gonna get those days back and you wish you knew back then to value them more, to bask in it a little more, but life is growing up and accepting that the only thing you can really do is accept it and move on, it's gonna be hard as shit, and you're gonna lose loved ones, and you're gonna grow up and get your heart broken but you'll fucking love it because you're gonna mature and move to new places and find new jobs and live your life to the fullest and have experiences and do scuba-diving and eventually you're gonna live the life you dreamed of with calm mornings and a sense of peace in your heart, because regardless of whether that day is in 2 years or 20, you fucking made it, and idk man.
life is beautiful. life is worth living.
7 notes · View notes
tohokuu · 2 years
Text
i'm back. did you actually think i was gone ? last night was just a small moment of weakness. i am okay now teehee
i realized that if i leave tumblr, i don't have an outlet to complain about my garbage life
so let's start with everything that has been happening wrong:
so, yesterday my mom yelled at me all day. she yells at me anyway but yesterday was just... horrendous. it's like she doesnt understand how bad the things she says are. like .... i don't think she realizes how much it hurts me and how long that shit sticks in my head
i remember a while back she called me a burden and i just simply never forgot about that.
and then i wasnt able to go with my friend to the p1h concert yesterday and i was actually about to just.... yk..
and then i stayed up finishing assignments last night because i thought it was all due today but then my prof was like, you have until friday. it's okay, i forgive her because she's a milf yk ?
moving on, my car broke down this morning. like i was trying to start it but it wouldn't start and i genuinely wanted to just lay on the highway. it's fucking odd bc i started my car last night and it worked perfectly fine, so maybe my battery just died.. so I'll have my mom give it a jumpstart when she gets home from work. hopefully it's just a dead battery and not anything seriously wrong.
my dads been giving me a hard time bc gas has been 5 dollars a gallon and it's been incredibly irritating
anyway, i was gonna get starbucks this morning because we lost an hour of sleep due to daylight saving time.. i was gonna get something for myself and i also planned on getting something for my professor bc she helped me out w some stuff, but i couldn't even get her anything so i legitimately just... wanted to give up.
then i couldn't find my hijab cap this morning. i had to use a grey one rather than my usual black one and i was so ready to just... scream
and then after my dad drops me off to school, i quit the tennis team because I'm so sick of it and i don't have a car so... no practice
but i got a gym membership but once again, due to the lack of VEHICLE i can't fucking go there either
and my insecurities have been shining these days. i look like a fucking man. i hate how my hair is. i hate being overweight, i hate literally everything. i keep picking at all my insecurities. i look at any photo of mine and just... coil in on myself in disgust.
I'm literally at my lowest right now and i don't know how to fix it. i get so unreasonably angry when things don't go my way. which isn't a good thing but i think i just get scared when stuff isn't in my control. but i tend to express that in anger or i laugh it off instead of being sad.
after that, i was trying to connect my laptop to my hotspot and it just WOULD NOT work... like i was genuinely so sick of it... beyond annoyed and then my eyeliner wasn't fucking even. this is just the absolute worse.
then my yunho fic got fucking flagged this morning for explicit content like go fuck yourself, god
but i filed an appeal and it got accepted 3 minutes later and i know that's a good thing but why the fuck- like can't they do the same for other writers ?? jesus fucking christ
anyway, that's all. thank you, bye
1 note · View note
Text
Aqua’s Live Reactions: “Quackity Visits Dream in Prison”
Several things before we begin:
I roughly know what happens already because I read other Tumblr posts, TV Tropes (hell, I edit the pages myself), and the wiki
This is the first DSMP vod I’ve ever watched in full
My reactions will be under the cut because that thing is 84 minutes long
I didn’t watch this sooner because I had a ton of schoolwork and it’s finally the weekend
I’m watching this on YouTube, so if any ads ruin my viewing experience, you’ll also have to suffer through me ranting about it
This whole post is within the context of the SMP, so /rp and /dsmp applies to everything under the cut
0:00+ -- the beginning? absolutely cinematic with the shaders. amazing.
1:30 -- I got an ad. they just shot up in numbers since the pandemic started... ew. capitalism.
1:38 -- from cinematic scene, cut to real actual minecraft. wow.
1:49 -- damn that building really got invaded by the crimson huh
2:04 -- hey there’s music!
2:53 -- bad! uh, meeting with the tentative father in law? except... uh, he’s brainwashed into leading an egg cult?
3:02 -- oh that’s just mean. of course he’s gonna get in your way, you’re leading a fuckin’ cult and exploiting people while they are weak or demoralized
3:10 -- well yeah he did, and good for him
3:52 -- yeah tell him, boy!
5:26 -- yep, don’t waste our time, muffin face, we’re here to see dre scream
7:15 -- holy transitions, batman!
7:48 -- haven’t even reached the 8 minute mark and I can already say that you’ve outdone yourself, mr. alex quackity
8:03 -- for the love of god, grammarly, can y’all not put the ad at a time like this?
8:50 -- fucker really went all out and got a soundtrack for each chapter, huh?
9:12 -- that’s a lotta cows, dude
9:17 -- *aggressive cow breeding noises*
9:47 -- if there’s so many mobs, then put your damn armour back on, you’re at 3 and a half hearts, my dude
10:33 -- don’t you dare die right now, dipshit
10:37 -- FOR FUCK’S SAKE, STOP RUINING THE MOMENT WITH ADS
10:40 -- did he just laugh at the whole page of fuck yous?
10:54 -- he’s seriously just reading this note from his ex -- a climatic moment, mind you -- while zombies groan in the background. stop it, zombos, you’re ruining the goddamn mood
11:05 -- his “WHY” face lmfaoooooooooo
11:19 -- “ride that shit and ride it fast” that sounds kinda wrong out of context
11:29 -- another “WHY” face @ -- why am I even saying it? -- “You had the fattest ass in my cabinet”.. sir he’s engaged to two other people after he left your ass and rightfully so, so stop being a weirdo, for fuck’s sake
11:31 -- HE’S LITERALLY FACEPALMING BUT INSTEAD OF HIS HAND, IT’S HIS MICROPHONE LMAOOOOOO
13:16 -- I thought he was kidding about the y-coordinate being 26, I thought he meant z-coordinate but I guess not??
13:53 -- NO NOT ANOTHER AD
15:18 -- dude it’s so awkward to call your ex a pet name when said ex literally LEFT YOUR ASS AND GOT ENGAGED TO TWO OTHER DUDES LIKE JESUS CHRIST SIR GET ON WITH THE TIMES
15:55 -- dude half a stack of diamonds to go in there?!!? it’s so fuckin’ weird and awkward and honestly overpriced
16:20 -- HIS DAD WTFFFFFFFFFFFFF
16:31 -- what the HELL are those proportions, steve
16:55 -- why the fuck would you put the flag of the original l’manburg on your goddamn gym poster that’s obviously not a real picture
19:44 -- WILBUR WHAT WERE YOU DOING, WAIT HOLD ON 300 YEARS?!!? WILBUR SAID IT WAS JUST 9 FOR HIM!! DUDE GLATT ARE YOU NOW LIKE CLOSE TO 400 YEARS OLD?? WHAT THE HELL
20:17 -- not cool, glatt, not cool, that’s a TRAUMATIZED CHILD, SIR
22:05 -- THE LOOK ON HIS FACE LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
22:55 -- this got kinda awkward tbh, can’t we just get to the killing already?
23:20 -- watching Schlatt get mad is funny, watching a whole ass ad in the middle of it is not
23:59 -- an “essential oil diffuser”... yeah, I’m with Big Q on this one, facepalming (in my head)
25:09 -- “I was gonna tie you up to this post” what the fuck. what the serious fuck. this is why he left your ass in the dust, man, as he said, you’re a dick
25:58 --  oh please don’t tell me you picked up necromancy in high school of all places
26:04 -- oh god, he’s speaking spanish
26:08 -- “I know a bit of Spanish myself” yeah of course you do /gen
26:25 -- THIS ISN’T HIGH SCHOOL, GLATT LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO
26:41 -- HE’S JUST FACEPALMING
26:52 -- and also laughing, I do not speak Spanish, I am confused and just laughing along
27:09 -- YEAH GET HIS ASS, THIS ISN’T FIVE MINUTES BEFORE SPANISH CLASS, STOP ASKING PEOPLE ON HOW TO DO YOUR HOMEWORK AT A TIME LIKE THIS
27:49 -- “YOU’RE JUST LIKE [MEXICAN DREAM]!” who’s gonna tell him
28:16 -- Mexican Dream has the flag draped around his shoulders, WRITE THAT DOWN, WRITE THAT DOWN
28:46 -- “I get really bad memories when I come see you” ok trauma confirmed, write that down as well
31:14 -- oh my god schlatt please shut up
31:18 -- “you wanna be my daddy?” no pls shut up, the relationship’s already destroyed, and Q was the one who broke it off, stop asking if he’s gonna come back, jesus christ
31:42 -- “there’s a book” FINALLY 
31:54 -- my childee.................................................. why must you suffer so ;-;
32:43 -- the book was in dream’s PANTS WTF lmaoooooo like did he literally stuff that thing down his trousers or underwear or whatever and carry it around like it’s a pocket? because I’ve done that before
33:06 -- okay so glatt has seen wilbur, hates him, but also thinks he’s cute. so is that in a /p or a /r context? sir??
33:43 -- oh no indeed... glatt you are talking to the guy that broke off the engagement by KILLING YOU CANONICALLY AND JOINING THE ENEMY SIDE, HOW CAN YOU THINK HE STILL LIKES YOU
35:47 -- ooh, it’s the bet!
37:21 -- okay so we all know how this goes, don’t we, given the title?
38:22 -- wait no minimum wage while working in the government?? that brings up a whole other can of worms about the schlatt administration that I don’t really want to go into, including human rights issues (actually there’s a lot of human rights issues in the smp overall) -- in this case, labour exploitation -- and possible financial abuse
38:38 -- “let’s get risky with it” oh boy I think we know how this is gonna end
39:36 -- chapter 3! let’s go!! we know how this goes, don’t we?
39:56 -- it’s raining. isn’t it? we can’t see
40:44 -- they have things to talk about, it’s about several things... ah yes very specific /s
41:28 -- let’s do this, big q
42:03 -- last time there was a visit, it didn’t go very well.... understatement of the century
42:47 -- OH IT’S GUILT TRIPPY MANIPULATION TIME......... ok who’s gonna be the first person to make an evil lawyer joke in this fandom? /j
43:13 -- “you had one job and you fucked up” I mean, that is true, but at the same time, sir..................... guilt tripping
44:25 --  look sir I usually side with mr tommyinnit on this (the power is too great, we’re better off without it) but you’re being awfully convincing here.... or I guess that’s your job as the resident lawyer in training, and you’re doing it splendidly
45:31 -- ok so Sam did try to close off visiting privileges after all but of course the man we’re talking to has a fuckin’ silver tongue
45:54 -- “so how am I supposed to rely on you for any business opportunities?” ok wow you’re pulling that card now?
46:33 -- “I’m not gonna do anything bad” I will remember that
46:49 -- why is he placing his axe in an item frame-- NO REALLY NOT ANOTHER AD
47:44 -- ok he brought out the hand gestures plus the manipulation, let’s go
48:20 -- weapons will be good enough “for any sort of persuasion”, oh you mean like gunboat diplomacy?
48:39 -- “this is not a good idea........” well at least he knows
49:17 -- dude is going in hard right now, it’s the persuasion tactic that “I’ll make it better”, sleazy politicians use it all the time, get into office, then go fuck up the place some more
49:49 -- so that exchange in the vault was supposed to take place within a few minutes, so unless that changes................ that’s a very fast time for you to get that much blood over you, sir
50:17 -- “I’ll try for as long as it takes, Sam” ok so for the next whole ass month, you’re gonna do it
51:05 -- that’s a sign that you’ve won over him, q-- FOR GOD’S SAKE, STOP IT WITH THE ADS!!
52:53 -- “I’m gonna remember this in the long term” you better remember, quackity, you better remember
55:36 -- okay so let’s just BREAK PROTOCOL ALREADY
55:40 -- “yes I do acknowledge that” and you’re acknowledging that you’re throwing protocol out the window as well!
57:03 -- technically he didn’t sign the waiver at the end of the waiver? but technically he signed it on the title cover?
58:14 -- technically they’re following protocol right now? right? I haven’t watched previous prison visits, so I’m not 100% sure how this works... but Sam is technically helping to sneak those items in right now
59:34 -- that’s some really cool redstone!!
1:00:25 -- that is a lot of cells... so the legends and the wiki and the fanfics speak the truth... I had a different vision of what it looked like when I read the fic Dollhouse... a lot more lava (under glass) comes to mind
1:00:57 -- “you ever think I’ll be in one of these?” [...] “not a funny thing to joke about” yeah, not funny, and this is coming from the person who’s read some pretty disturbing fanfics featuring this prison
1:01:47 -- that’s two deaths to get into the prison using protocol already...
1:02:25 -- ok there’s... poison...
1:02:41 -- there’s another pit stop?!
1:03:24 -- so that’s the protocol measure that doomed-- *hiccups*
1:04:08 -- oh my GOD THAT’S A PROTOCOL?! DO THEY REFER TO CANON DEATHS FOR THIS? SIR............ I’M CONCERNED. like I get the reasoning behind it, but still...........
1:04:51 -- WHAT THE HELL THERE’S A LAVA THING AND HOW DID YOU NOT CATCH ON FIRE WHILE ENTERING THE LAVA HALLWAY OMG I CAN BARELY TYPE 
1:04:54 -- oh fire res I see
1:05:40 -- dramatic music stops so Sam can give him steak lol
1:06:09 -- “if you’re gonna do this [...] do it right” *gives shears/pliers and netherite warden’s sword and axe* oh HOLY- doesn’t that make him an accomplice??
1:07:26 -- is this stuck in total darkness thing supposed to happen?
1:08:33 -- it’s time...... dre........ your time is up, sucker
1:09:24 -- are we supposed to wait this long for the lava to lower? 
1:10:03 -- HI DREAM!! NICE TO SEE YOU, YA MURDEROUS FUCKER!! tell me, is the cell still stained with blood from what you did nearly 3 weeks ago?
1:11:08 -- as of my time of writing this, it would be exactly 2 months since the end of Season 2, so in your case, in your time, it would be a month, 3 weeks, and 3 days :]
1:11:24 -- since dream lost his clock, he technically wouldn’t know how long it would be between tommy’s time of death and revival, meaning either he’s lying about the 2 days, or lying about not being able to keep track of how long it’s been since he got put in jail
1:12:07 -- way to rub it in that he supposed to be powerless in the prison
1:12:15 -- “you’ve come to rub it in or something?” LMAO I PREDICTED IT
1:12:41 -- “what do people think?” ok so first of all, WOW, YOU REALLY HAVE ZERO REMORSE, and second of all, WE MOURNED HIM. WE WERE DEVASTATED. AND WE LOWKEY WANT TO MARCH IN HERE AND WRING YOUR NECK
1:12:55 -- “what, do people think [killing Tommy and reviving him] was cool?” NO. NO IT’S NOT COOL. WE THINK YOU’RE A BASTARD. AND NOT AS AN AFFECTIONATE FORM OF ADDRESS EITHER. YOU REMORSELESS FUCKER. GREEN BOY. SON OF A BLOBFISH.
1:13:50 -- “I mean... it’s good for me” no, it’s not good for you... we have approximately 11 minutes ‘til this stream ends and we all know what happens when you get in quackity’s way
1:14:29 -- “I am the book” “oh really” “yeah” so you have chosen... death pain
1:15:30 -- “yeah or what?” oh he has no idea what’s comin’ for him... OH DREAM~~~
1:15:40 -- the music stopped at “double prison”... we’re ready to pull the sadism card, right?
1:16:01 -- DRAEM PLS THAT’S EARRAPE
1:16:46 -- THAT’S SO LOUD
1:16:49 -- “you can scream for sam all you want, dream” that’s so chilling, and you know what, dream? sam gave him those tools >:]
1:17:07 -- dramatic cut... (pls don’t do gore of what happened in there, y’all, cc!dream has boundaries and we’re not crossing them, ‘kay?)
1:17:37 -- ok so there’s about 30 seconds of black screen and chilling music :]
1:17:55 -- that’s a lotta blood, sir
1:18:26 -- it’s chilling to see your mc!face up so close, sir, and you know the parallel? he was looking at the picture of himself on the el rapids poster, then it’s switched perspectives to his current face, eye scar included, so it’s like a showcase of how much things have changed since december. and also the blood. don’t forget about the blood.
1:18:43 -- he removed all the spots featuring the other members but left himself........ just as he’s the last el rapidian remaining, while the rest have moved to the kinoko kingdom..............
1:19:05 -- it’s a clip show............
1:19:21 -- no, he’s destroying it all...... it’s like an illustration, this whole destruction of el rapids ending, it’s like a showcase of how everything has changed and nothing will be the same again........ 
1:20:18 -- he’s literally taking several in-game days to destroy it all......
1:20:25 -- he wipes himself off the poster as well, as a show that not only is everyone else moving on, but he himself, the last remaining, is also moving on...
1:20:49 -- that cut to real life made me jump a little tbh, even if I knew it was gonna happen
1:20:56 -- and so it ends! that has been.. cinematic. amazing. sir, you have earned my like on this video, it’s taken me all evening to watch it due to various interruptions irl
1:21:35 -- HOW HAS HE NOT REACHED HIS SUB GOAL YET???
1:21:59 -- HE’S DOING MORE!!! :D
13 notes · View notes
365days365movies · 3 years
Text
March 14, 2021: The Holy Mountain (1973) (Part One)
Happy Pi Day! What’s on the menu?
Tumblr media
...Oh dear Christ. Looks like it’s a cloud pie, because this one’s gonna be OVER my head. And yes, I realize that it’s Pi Day after the irrational number, not the food. Which is ALSO fitting because I’m sure we’ve got a fuckton of irrationality coming my way, and I am...not ready? Yeah, yeah, I’m not ready.
But OK. Who actually made this movie? Alejandro Jodorowsky? Oh.
Tumblr media
OH. This...I should’ve put this in goddamn Experimental June, huh? Well, shit. I ean, it fits in with the patter of films I’ve been watching recently. You know, Greek mythology, Japanese folklore, then a surrealist film released by a notable director? And Jodorowsky is notable...in film circles, anyway. He’s not exactly a household name, but he is very well-known regardless.
Alejandro Jodorowsky is a Chilean-French man best known for his Mexican films. So, yeah, already interesting there. His Wikipedia article describes him as such, right off the BAT.
Since 1948, Jodorowsky has worked as a novelist, screenwriter, a poet, a playwright, an essayist, a film and theater director and producer, an actor, a film editor, a comics writer, a musician and composer, a philosopher, a puppeteer, a mime, a lay psychologist, a draughtsman, a painter, a sculptor, and a spiritual guru.
Tumblr media
Dude had a movie made ABOUT HIM TRYING TO MAKE A MOVIE. That would be Jodorowsky’s Dune, a documentary film about Jodorowsky’s attempt to make an adaptation of the book Dune, well before the actual first film came out. And people LOVED that film. The film about a filmmaker making a film...I am frightened.
Tumblr media
And I’m not going to spoil it for you, but in looking for the GIFs of this movie...guys, I am FUCKED. I’m a boring-ass man, in that I’ve never so much as smoked a cigarette, and I have the feeling that I’m gonna feel high watching this movie. I am NOT ready. But OK, with that, let’s just get into it, huh? Let’s get this trip over with. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!
Recap (1/2)
Tumblr media
Two women are staring at me. And so is a dude dressed all in black with a crazy hat, as chanting goes on in the background in a white room with black crosses on the walls, and we’re JUST JUMPING RIGHT THE FUCK IN, HUH?
Tumblr media
The title comes up, dude just rips their clothes off, and YES THERE IS A GIF OF IT ON TUMBLR ALREADY, and I’m probably gonna flagged for that, BUT WHATEVER
Tumblr media
He shaves their heads, they enter a warm embrace of sorts, AND THEN WE MOVE ON TO A POINTED EYEBALL SURROUNDED BY PEACOCK FEATHERS I AM COMPLETELY LOST
Well, actually, as the credits play, backed by a sound which I can only assume is the creaking of the opening gates of hell, there are a number of objects and artifacts, with peacock feathers seeming to be a common theme. And then...a man with the tarot card The Fool next to him pisses himself in the desert as flies cover his face, a cougar standing over him and roars, a bullfrog looks at some tarot cards, and a legless and handless man with the Five of Swords card strapped to his back comes to wake him up with the aid of several naked children, who tie him to a fake cross and throw stones at him.
ALL OF THIS HAPPENS IN ONE MINUTE, AND I DIDN’T EVEN MENTION THE FLOWER GROWING STABBED INTO HIS PALM
Tumblr media
Somehow...I underestimated this movie. I DIDN’T THINK IT’D BE THIS CRAZY THIS QUICKLY. Well, after...THAT, the two men share a cigarette and hug as the Swords guy licks his forehead, and they walk into the city. There, we see some grizzly ass shit. There’s a truck carrying the bodies of killed native people, a firing squad shoots some kids who...bleed black, and a fuck-ton of sheep who’ve been skinned and fake-crucified are marched down the street as a bunch of rich people watch on. Also, another firing squad shoots at some kids, and birds fly out of them.
I think the people watching are tourists, and this...might be fake? One of the fake soldiers takes one of the tourists aside, and just...starts fuckin’ ‘er. In front of her husband, as people take pictures of the whole thing. I...I am more confused than I have EVER been.
Tumblr media
By the way, I don’t know ANY names for this yet, so I’ll add them...whenever I figure it out. Our pair apparently entertain these tourists, and make money doing so. They work with a circus called “The Great Toad and Chameleon Circus”, who perform a pantomime of the conquest of Mexico, using...costumed toads and horned lizard. And it’s...I mean, it’s definitely bad for those animals, but it’s also kind of adorable?
The horned lizards represent the Aztec, while the toads represent the Spanish. And, uh...yeah, it’s literally exactly what I said. The Spanish toads go after the Aztec horned toads, and overwhelm the fake Tenochtitlan with their sheer numbers. What’s weird about that? WHAT IS SO WEIRD ABOUT THAT TO YOU?
Tumblr media
There’s also a lot of...what I’m assuming to be fake blood, but with this movie, I worry. The whole dead sheep thing has me concerned AND THEN THEY BLOW UP THE SET AND KILL THEM ALL WHAT THE FUCK MAN? How did this film escape animal cruelty shit?
And then...look, you’re gonna have to get used to weird-ass shit happening here, OK? And for the record, I’m desperately trying to weave some symbolism out of things here. Like, this is clearly a criticism of tourism and wealthy cultures taking advantage of the disadvantages. It also seems to be anti-religious, although...I’m not sure if I can articulate that one yet. Still, this part of the film seems to be about the disadvantaged native people being used as essentially objects by the rich foreigners. I mean, they just used the Spanish Conquest of Mexico, for God’s sakes. It’s a new form of conquest, but modernized.
Right? OK, OK, maybe I can do this after all. What’s next? 
Tumblr media
A bunch of overweight dudes dressed up as Roman soldiers, alongside a guy dressed as a nun, are selling crosses and Catholic materials to the tourists, while the Fool and Swords pretend to be Jesus Christ for them. This eventually leads to them goading the Fool into a drunken stupor, then making a plaster mold of him before leaving him on a pile of potatoes. Eventually, he wakes up and screams, surrounded by hundreds of casts of him painted as Jesus Christ, as the Roman soldiers and the nun dude sleep.
Angered at his own commercialization, Fool whips the nun and soldiers, and destroys all of the Jesus statues. Meanwhile, a group of women - of different races and ages - and a chimpanzee stare at a gilded statue of Jesus in a church.
Sure. Why not? WHY NOT?
Tumblr media
 Also, they’re prostitutes, and one of them is, like, a child. Fuck. Said child is approached by an elderly man, who giver her his fake eye, than proceeds to kiss her hand...A LOT. OK, I know there’s something to be gleaned from that. Said prostitutes meet the Fool, who’s carrying the Jesus cast. Most of the laugh at him, except for the one carrying the chimpanzee, which I’m assuming is a Mary Magdalene reference.
She follows him, and the other prostitutes follow her, but they all stop when they come across a group of civilians dancing with soldiers. The Fool walks through this crows alone, and ends up in a dilapidated church, where he finds an owl and a priest, who’s sleeping with another Jesus statue. Angry that the Fool’s brought in his own statue, he kicks him out. The Fool then eats the face of his statue, then takes it back to the children from earlier, ties a bunch of balloons to it, and lets it fly above the city, the kids, and the prostitutes.
Tumblr media
I, uh...I don’t know. I DO NOT KNOW.
From there, the Fool goes into town, there a red tower stands in the square. Maui’s hook descends from the top, and the Fool climbs onto it. The hook takes him up, as “Mary Magdalene” watches on. And it goes up VERY HIGH, by the way. GODDAMN. He gets into a hole at the top of the tower, where he finds a white shroud, which he bursts through, only to find...
Tumblr media
I’m so tired. I am SO TIRED, you guys. Our guy heads down the rainbow toward the camel, the naked woman, and the man surrounded by two goats, who I think is the guy from the beginning. He’s wearing the same hat, anyway.
Tumblr media
He slowly and measuredly moves off his throne, as the music in the background intensifies, and as the camel is fidgeting, seemingly ALSO trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. The man gets into a brief fight with the Fool, but stops him by touching his chakras. With the help of the woman, he slices open a tumor on the back of the Fool’s neck, and extracts an octopus from it. Yeah. YEAH. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MOVIE
Tumblr media
The man offers him gold, in the FIRST UNDERSTANDABLE SPOKEN WORDS IN THE MOVIE I AM NOT KIDDING
Tumblr media
They take the man to a pool, complete with baby hippo (what, do you not have your hippo in your personal pool, like a goddamn loser?), and the man gets cleaned, VERY thoroughly. Yeah, we see it.
In another room, with a pelican in it this time, the man has the Fool defecate in a jar, and also puts him in a container, where he sweats a lot. The guy collects his sweat in a hear-shaped jar, and continues his chemical reaction with the dude’s feces. It’s at this point where I think it’s appropriate to give the name of the man in the tower: The Alchemist (Alejandro Jodorowsky). Yeah. It’s the director. Take THAT, Hitchcock.
Tumblr media
After literally turning his shit into gold, the Alchemist says that the Fool can do the same to himself, as he is shit. Yeah, he says that. And then, the two meet in a room of mirrors, where the Alchemist is now wearing a black outfit, and the Fool is wearing a matching brown one. They break a stone, in which we are told that each stone has a soul.
And then...tarot.
Tumblr media
Yeah, that seems to be a theme, huh? According to the Alchemist, Tarot will teach the Fool to create a soul. I get the feeling that it’s meant to be within himself, but...I don’t know. Also, the tarot cars that we see are definitely supposed to represent previous scenes in the film, some of which we’ve already seen. However...they’re still pretty goddamn weird.
He gives him a few items, then brings in an ox and a turkey vulture. Goddamn, dude owns a zoo, huh? He uses the two to speak on the cyclical nature of life and death, and how organisms depend upon each other. This leads to yet another room, with a peacock in it this time, where he notes that the fish never seeks the fisherman, meaning that the master seeks a disciple.
Tumblr media
In this final room, there are statues of people who are like him, and who will be needed for the coming journey, whatever that may be. They are industrialists and politicians, and each represents a planet...and maybe something else. They are, in order:
Tumblr media
Fon (Juan Ferrara): Our Venus, and a bedding and clothing business magnate. He has many wives, who begin as workers in his factory, then are promoted to his “secretaries. He also has a fuckton of children as a result. His father began the factory, and is deaf, dumb, and blind. He makes all decisions by consulting his wife’s corpse’s vagina. Yup. Dear Lord. The company’s also made masks that have the texture, warmth, and smell of living human beings, allowing anybody to change their face to something more desirable. They also beautify corpses, and animates them after death. Fuck.
Tumblr media
Isla (Adriana Page): Our Mars, Isla is first seen in a coffin-like bed, sleeping with the two bald women from earlier. After putting on her Prince suit, she wakes up her captive population of male secretaries, and her flock of black swans, and goes to her day job: manufacture and sale of weapons. We’re talking nuclear, biological, and fictional. They experiment with drugs that have various effects, and demonstrates them on many people, and make such unique things as psychadelic guns and grenades, and themed weapons for the religious crowds.
Tumblr media
Klen (Burt Kleiner): Klen’s our Jupiter, and his house is huge, his wife is cold and unloving, and his chaffeur feeds him coke in the back of his black limo. He has a mistress that he fucks in the back of the limo, on the way to his art factory, where they produce a “new line” of art every season, using girls’ asses, and various other parts of bodies. He LITERALLY objectifies people. He also created a “love machine”, which is literally a robot box with a robot vagina that you fuck with a giant blue artificial penis. It is a...weird but interesting scene.
Tumblr media
Sel (Valerie Jodorowsky): Sel’s a clown, who represents Saturn, and performs for children. Which makes sense, seeing that she’s a clown. She has a toy factory as well, where she sheds her harlequinesque vestments for a far harsher, stricter persona. Her toy factory is for war toys, and all of the staff and workers are elderly. Using a computer, they use their resources specifically to corrupt the minds of children to feed their political agendas, conditioning them to hate whichever enemy the government will face in the future, literally sowing prejudice and racism into their minds in preparation for a future war. Eerie.
Tumblr media
Berg (Nicky Nichols): Uranus next! And Uranus is...EXTREMELY weird. Like, you know how you shouldn’t kink-shame people? That does not apply to Berg, both because he probably SHOULD be kink-shamed, and also because I don’t think it’s possible for him to feel shame? This entire section begins...real weird. Berg and his wife (Lupita Peruyero) are a very eclectic and unusual couple, but they aren’t as bad as the rest...I think? I mean, she’s literally knitting a sweater for their giant pet snake, and it’s kind of adorable. And then...we discover that Berg is a financial adviser to the president of a very wealthy country. He recommends that, in order to save the economy of the country, they kill 4 million people. THe president then activates the country’s gas chambers, gas schools, gas universities, gas libraries, gas museums, gas dance halls, and gas whore houses. Not a joke, that is actually what he says. And that’s...kind of hilarious? That segment ends with a picnic, and Berg says he hates his wife while surrounded by many very beefy bois. OK. My favorite so far, and that’s not even an exaggeration.
Tumblr media
Axon (Richard Rutowsky): Besides having a HELL of a name, Axon’s the Neptune of this Solar System. He’s a chief of police. Which involves...a naked man chained to a table as many people chant and play drums. And then, Axon comes in with a GIGANT GUN, while bedecked in clothes made and worn by the forbidden love child of Mad Max and Roman soldiers. The ceremony is actually a castration, and it’s Axon’s 1000th castration. Axon commands many eunuchs, all of whom are trained to believe in him. It’s very...cultish. And that’s made worse when a group of protestors are attacked by Axon’s police force. They execute them, with the murder represented by interesting symbolism. Like, instead of blood and guts, it’s fruit and birds, and...also the thing above, which is funny only out of context. It’s also eerie.
Tumblr media
Finally, Lut (Luis Lomeli): Lut is an architect, and our Pluto. In his house, there is a bevy of children dressed up as mice, who are playing hide-and-seek with him. Lut built a multi-family complex, but begrudges that they lost money in doing so. And so, to save money, he decides on a new concept for homes: basically just a box that people sleep in. Nothing else. He presents this at a party, where he unveils the house, which is essentially a coffin. He uses a sex show and women to sell it to the overindulgent rich. There’s also a well-sculpted ice penis involved, which must have been an interesting job to get for the guy who made that. Anyway, yeah, he’s trying to turn homes into coffins.
Tumblr media
Jesus. That’s a good place to stop now, I think. See you in Part Two, goddamn.
7 notes · View notes
ladyfeldspar · 3 years
Text
11x08: Le Petit Tourette (part 1)
This is one of my favorite episodes and I'm so happy my RNG picked this one for me to ramble to tonight.
Okay, I just need to start by saying how much I love Thomas as a character because he's adorable.
"Black Jackal" sounds like a mildly inappropriate Marvel villain.
Cartman's concerned face.
"The Red Rocket" toy, should that really be marketed to children?
The employee's TS tag - TS = Toy Store = Tourette's Syndrome?
Does he say, "Tourette's Syndroom"?
"Dude, that mom is cool," should immediately bring up some red flags for how this episode is going to go.
Oh my gosh that little groan Thomas does, and the circles under his eyes, and how genuinely afraid he looks when Cartman thinks he's yelling at him, Jesus Christ this poor fucking kid.
Hey, look, Heidi's there.
"I want to go!" Seriously, my heart breaks for this kid, I can't even imagine what he must feel like out in public.
Uh, also, that Bobo toy? The hell is that?
Oh, God, Cartman, here we go.
Cartman, no, Tourette's is not the equivalent of a chocolate factory, please just, please- no, you're gonna go there? ...Okay.
Liane frustrates me because there are times she totally seems with it and like a decent parent and then she's an absolute idiot. Like in TFBW when she's on the phone with the police about the lava and when she's like, "My son says I can't go outside or it'll burn me. ...It won't?"
"Cocksucker." Just the innocent look on his face kills me.
You have no idea what the fuck you're talking about, Dr. zonder.
Also, I'm sorry, but Cartman's feet animated with toes and everything is for some reason just hilarious to me.
Dr. zonder has like, Hollywood-lookin' hair.
"Hey, Wendy. Dumb bitch!" Subtle, Cartman, subtle.
That poor little Ginger kid!
I love when Kyle's eyebrows go flat like that.
And Craig, so jealous of being able to curse whenever you want. Keep dreaming big dreams, Tucker!
"He's faking." No big plans, no confronting him in private, just, "No, you idiots, he's fucking lying." I love you, Kyle Broflovski.
"With my good friend Kahl." Should this not be enough to tip people off there's something going on? Jesus.
I do like that he admits it to Kyle right away, because it makes the episode able to be about more than Kyle just trying to out him as a faker. And we get Cartman seriously trying to justify what he's doing which is always fun.
I love "Sergeant Buzzkill".
Craig questioning everything about his life up to this point.
"'Scuse me." kills me every single time.
"Spooge, balls, bloody vaginal belch." Like. This is not how Tourette's works, you moron. But I love his tone while he says it, so casual.
Tumblr media
Francis is killing himself laughing and Kyle is just so done.
You can even see Tweek's hair shaking because he's laughing too.
Oh my gosh, I remember when I first watched this and that moment when Cartman calls Kyle "kike" I literally went, "Oh no."
"Don't push me, asshole!" "Kyle, watch your language!" I'm so annoyed right there with him at the unfairness of it all.
God, this is just a really good Kyle episode.
Tumblr media
He looks so wistful.
I hate this Tourette's awareness guy.
Kyle's evil smile when he thinks he won and then, nope, just kidding, Kyle, you look like the bad guy now.
"...to see that Tourette's is very real." Is it just me or does he say "real" just like the mayor of Imaginationland?
I was so happy to see Thomas in this support group.
I feel so bad for all these kids. I like that Matt and Trey didn't make fun of the kids with Tourette's and just made Cartman and this Tourette's awareness asshole idiots.
THOMAS. Literally heartbroken at this point. He seems like such a sweet kid.
Kyle apologizing was really sad, but also cute, I mean to the support group kids, not Cartman. I like the talking through his teeth thing he does with Cartman though. I would've punched him right in the face.
Take the shot at Kyle's mom while you can, Cartman, you'll pay for it later.
Tumblr media
"Isn't having Tourette's awesome?" And Thomas goes, "...Wait."
To be continued because my thoughts are too much for Tumblr to handle.
2 notes · View notes
echthr0s · 4 years
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
describe yourself with only the pictures you have. you cannot download or search for any new pictures; tag 10 people (you know the drill)
tagged by @violentviolette​. just gonna say that I don’t really save stuff to my phone that often (most of my time is spent on a computer, I use my phone for like. reading) so I don’t actually have 10 downloaded photos on my phone. some of these are from my computer’s Downloads folder instead because I figure that’s the same thing.
also two of them are actually edits I made lol, I didn’t have anything else to choose from
(Frollo art by moe-frollokins here on tumblr)
(repost without the nude Ganon or the tarot card because original post got immediately flagged jesus fucking christ)
4 notes · View notes
thepaladincosplays · 4 years
Text
Call Out Post
Jesus Christ, never thought I’d want to do this but here we go...
Imagine being so ingrained in an almost dogmatic point of view that, for at least a year, you’ve attacked people over a ship (whether or not they actually ship it). 
Imagine you’re just minding your business when, one day, someone decides to comment on your profile about how a certain character can’t be redeemed and that they only deserve the worst because of said dogmatic point of view.
Tumblr media
For those of you on the know, you probably know who the person above is. If you don’t, here’s the run down: this is ChitiMouse, a deviantArt user with an obsession for Jack Spicer that rivals my addiction to Dr Pepper (which isn’t a good thing). For the better part of almost a year now ChitiMouse and a close knit group of friends have been losing their minds over the fact that there are people out there in this vast world who ship Princess Morbucks and Jack Spicer in an AU where they’re the same age. Plain and simple. Yeah, no, that’s the gist of their mouth frothing insanity. They don’t like a ship and want everyone who don’t mind the ship (or ship it) to know that. I’m not the only one they bother this kind of stuff with, my friend @shorty-tori has a few posts detailing this insane crusade of ChitiMouse’s better than mine. 
Anyways.
All their comments on my page are flagged as spam but I’m gonna share them here with you. At first they aren’t that bad, just some “omg you think Jack is Spoiled Sweet???” to full on paragraphs about why Jack and Princess shouldn’t be together.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
So yeah that’s really about it. I don’t know if these people have tumblr but I honest to god hope that they just leave me the hell alone. At first the ranting and raving from these people was hilarious but now it’s annoying as hell and concerning. 
If you’re reading this ChitiMouse, PrincessJewelSparkle, AnonymousCoolGuy, just do me a favor and leave me alone because I’m done entertaining your idiocy and dogmatic behaviors. 
8 notes · View notes
rogue-ai-cat · 4 years
Text
Tumblr media
Update Opinions
I don’t know how much of this is update and how much of it is that I normally use Xkit and now it doesn’t work
Tumblr media
Good:
I like the notification box, but I can’t figure out what’s actually different about it aside from the position of the account select, which I don’t like. I’m very confused.
Color pallets. I don’t particularly like any of them, but I appreciate that they're giving us options now that don’t involve third party extensions.
The more actions menu (...) in the corner of posts (doesn’t Tumblr have some oddly specific name for it?) 
Bad:
Save as Draft and Queue in the post drop down are uhhh... Gone.
The post icons (reblog, like, etc) are too large. The top bar icons should always be the largest icons on a page. Having big icons everywhere is confusing.
Everything else that’s suddenly HUGE. I like big fonts, but Jesus Christ. 
Tumblr media
No mini graph in Activity (shown above)
There are too many things in the Account/User tray (which is exaggerated heavily by them all being HUGE except for the ones you would actually use, which are the same size). It takes up the whole height of the page now.
Is there a difference in load times? Cause I feel like there’s a difference in load times.
Odd:
I can tell they haven’t changed the ASKS page because the NXkit extension still works there. I’m gonna be really annoyed until Xkit updates.
You can customize post URLs in the post settings? It;s cool, but I don’t think I’ll ever use that.
Editable post dates? Sounds like trouble... We about to start getting posts from 1962 somehow.
Review flagged posts is gone.
1 note · View note
Text
AYTO8 running commentary incoming
okay so I’m going to post all my thoughts in this tumblr post about this ep mainly bc I don’t want to do it on Twitter bc they might respond and that’s stressful
* that max and Justin kiss ascended me
* Johnathon is being so fucking hypocritical Jesus Christ and it literally looks like Justin could NOT care less about him lmfao
* Brandon when Johnathon was punching stuff oh my GOD
* oh sweeties Kai and Jenna you ain’t a match like one person is monogamous and the other isn’t !!! kai is far too immature and keen to explore his sexuality like c’mon
* KARI my queen Jenna is like yelling her feelings and she’s so unsure bless
* REMY HAHAHAHAHHA “use me” we love a sexually-confident king
* amber is so sure she can pick Nour? Red flag
* KNEW IT nour lmao so salty ?? Also don’t threaten Paige or I’ll actually deck u
* there are no odds here Jenna, let it go Kai
* REMY AND JENNA AND KAI love that
* thanks Max for that inspiring commentary
* PAIGE OH MY GOD! Nour this makes me actually not like you anymore lol
* AASHA? SCREEN TIME? LOVE THAT
* queer prom? Love love that also I love max and Justin so much
* tbh I love them all but Nour and Johnathon are irking me
* Danny is so pure I feel like no one is into him tho ;/
* Remy i love you and also “Jenna has to be Jenna’s superman?” REMY is absolutely my fave
* Basit ur being so supportive okay Johnathon ur redeeming urself
* honestly I’m so over Jenna and Kai. Oh my tucking god this make out fight???
* Justin, Max and Brendan ur outfit kinda week not gonna lie
* Aasha Justin And Max I cannot
* lol imagine being Nour and refusing to let anyone touch/kiss her and then going to kiss someone after?? Ughhhhhhh
* Brandon is so level headed honestly
* Justin and Max are nothing like Kai and Jenna hello
* Amber oh my sweetie I love you
* the host has so little to do with this that every time he arrives I’m like ?? INTRUDER ??
* I’m over Nour so hard like Paige is being nothing but lovely and sweet and I just cannot with her how did she go from one of my faves to my least favourite
* the truth booth is so dramatic I’m loling
* I honestly hope they get a match so they can go away lol I’m over this arc
* I mean it’s obvious they aren’t but I’m sort of upset about it
* Jenna and Kai are gonna sabotage everything right ugh ugh UGH
* okay we stan a Johnathon redemption arc
* Brandon I literally love you??? Why aren’t you the host hello you’re the person the house needs
* OH MY GOD. Brandon? Okay Johnathon you just lost ALL your redemption.
* more AAsha? Yes pls. Also Aasha and Max? I didn’t see it at but I’m down
* honestly I’m so down with Basit and Remy? I feel like Remy would be the stable and accepting support that Basit is after??? But I also have doubts because they’re both very loud and outgoing and I think that might cause a bit of conflict
* the producer don’t want Max and Justin to sit together bc they are a perfect match?? Yes
* Kylie and Kari?????? I could see it? Also Basit and Remy are probably the two couples I could see but it’s a hard pass from me for the rest
* like I get where Basit is going but Johnathon has made it clear several times that he isn’t into Basit, so I don’t know what Basit was expecting. Also granted Johnathon also seemed to be leading them on a bit so eh
ugh now I have to wait until next week
21 notes · View notes
winterwitch611 · 5 years
Text
What If
Tumblr media
Previous Chapter
Chapter 7
Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton
Summary:  A small time hop where Bucky and Steve spend the morning in bed together having incrdible sex and then hint at their future.
Word Count: 1754
A/N: There will be one more chapter after this one. Also, Tumblr decided to flag all previous chapters. I appealed and they are now unflagged. Happy Reading!
Bucky rolls over and wraps his blanket tighter around himself. He feels like he’s hungover but he wasn’t drinking last night. A glance at the clock and he realizes he only has twenty minutes before he usually gets up to hit the gym. Ugh, I don’t want to get up he thinks as he pulls the blanket even tighter.
“What the hell, Buck? I’d like some blanket too!” Steve scolds.
“You want it so bad… come take it.”
“How about I just take you?”
“Mmmmm… yeah. I’ll only fight back a little… promise.”
Steve rips the blanket from Bucky’s grasp and exposes his beautiful naked body to the chilly air conditioned room. He stares at his boyfriend for a moment, taking in the sight before him. The last six months have been like a wonderful dream and today is no different.
“So are you just gonna stare or are you gonna take me? Don’t tease me, Stevie. I’ll make you pay for it this time.”
Steve knows by the tone of Bucky’s voice he would enjoy paying for it. But not today. He knows what Bucky likes, what makes his head spin, what makes is dick hard and what makes him beg for more. Steve has never really been in this position before, having a partner that enjoyed being submissive. It’s exhilarating. It makes his dick swell and ache to be touched with the mere thought of a session with Bucky.  
“I’m not teasin’, trust me,” Steve growls as he reaches for the back of Bucky’s head. He grabs a handful of hair and firmly pulls his boyfriend toward him leaving no doubt about his intentions. Their lips meet in a searing kiss but Steve has other ideas about Bucky’s mouth. He pulls Bucky back by his hair and looks into his lust filled eyes.
“You want me, don’t you?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Show me how bad you want me...,” Steve trails off as he lets go, lays back and puts his hands behind his head. “Wrap those pretty lips around my cock.”
Without hesitation Bucky slides down between Steve’s legs and runs his tongue up the length of his straining cock. He teases him for a moment, only licking at the most sensitive areas. Then swallows him down before he gets in trouble for teasing. His ass can’t take any more trouble. Steve spanked him raw last night. He was willfully defiant and absolutely asking for it. Without question it felt incredible. However, at this moment he’ll behave because all he wants is to make his boyfriend happy. He needs to be good and behave so he’ll be allowed to ride Steve’s beautiful cock until they both come undone.  
“Oh… my… god…,” is all Steve can say before an obscene moan escapes his lips. Hearing that only makes Bucky work harder to try to drag more delicious sounds from the man he loves. He’s got him too close to the edge. He feels Steve run his hands across his back and hook him under his arms. With one deft move he’s pulled up and straddling Steve’s thighs.
“Turn around,” Steve commands and motions with his fingers. “You know what I want.”
Bucky spins himself around so he’s still straddling Steve’s thick thighs. He knows exactly what he’s expected to do. He bends forward and presents his marvelous ass giving Steve full access to remove the small black rubber plug he inserted in his overfilled hole last night.
“That’s it baby. You’re so good for me,” he whispers as he gently works the plug free. “Oh yeah, look at that, my come just dripping outta you... still so full… mmmm… I think I need to add more though, don’t you?” He gently rubs over Bucky’s well used hole, pressing one finger in halfway. He’s toying with him. Steve wants to slide his fingers inside and work Bucky over until he comes but no, not now… maybe later, after he fills him up again. “I wanna make sure you feel me all day and remember that you’re mine.”
“Yes, Sir. Please,” he begs, sounding so goddamn needy. “I wanna feel you inside me.”
“Mmmmm… you’re still so fuckin’ wet we don’t need any slick. C’mere baby,” Grabbing hold of Bucky’s left hip Steve guides him down as he lines himself up. “That’s it, right there… riiiight there. Slide that ass down on me.”
Bucky slowly eases his way down Steve’s leaking cock, inch by inch, until he’s fully seated. They both hold still for a moment and savor the feeling of becoming one.
“You feel so fuckin’ good. So perfect,” Steve says as he runs his hands up and down his lovers back. He digs his fingers into the rock hard muscles that strain and flex as Bucky tries not to move too much yet. The feeling is intense. He’s so full; every little movement sends a shock wave of pleasure through his body. Steve nearly sends him right over the edge when he grabs his still red, sore ass cheeks and spreads them. Lifting him slowly, he then snaps his hips up driving his cock in quick shallow thrusts. Bucky screams in ecstasy. It was just enough to brush against that tight bundle of nerves and make him see stars. Steve does this over and over. Slow then fast, driving Bucky to the brink but not letting him tip over the edge. He won’t let that happen until he’s ready. He knows how far he has to go to make his boyfriend come, untouched. There’s no hotter sight in the world.
“You like that?” he asks as he holds him still again. All Bucky can do is nod. “I asked you a question. When I ask you a question you will answer me.” He leaves another dark red handprint next to the others.
“Yes, Sir,” Bucky whimpers. “Yes I like it. Please, Sir… please don’t stop.”
“That’s better,” Steve says in a gentle tone. “For being a good boy and listening so well I just might let you come this time.”
“Thank you, Sir. I’ll be good, I promise.”
“Turn around for me. Turn around so I can watch you come.”
Bucky pushes himself up slowly. He sighs at the loss when Steve is no longer inside him. Before he can reposition himself he feels a firm grip on his arm. Steve pulls him in so they’re face to face. “You’re gonna ride my cock until you come,” he growls. “But if you touch your dick at all I won’t let you come for a week. Do you understand me?”
“Yes, Sir. I understand.”
“Good. Now sit that pretty ass down before I add another handprint.”
Bucky’s never been with anyone that made him feel like this before. As hot as the sex always was with Clint it never came close to this level. Maybe it’s because he loves Steve. He loves him so fiercely it makes every sense scream. His touch is electrifying. His scent is intoxicating. The sound of his voice makes his body hum. The taste of his skin is like heaven. Looking into his eyes makes him want to cry from the connection he feels. A connection so strong he’ll do whatever he’s told, no questions asked and with absolute trust.    
Doing exactly as he’s told, Bucky lowers himself slowly, feeling every inch stretch him open. Starting out with slow movements, he can’t help but moan when he feels his balls tighten as his orgasm builds. Speeding up to chase that feeling he never wants this to end. He can do this all day but it’s all so much. As he rocks his body he can feel Steve tense up, he knows he’s close. As Steve’s cock begins to pulse inside him he can’t hold out another second. Bucky arches back and screams in ecstasy as he paints Steve’s stomach and chest. Coming completely untouched, as instructed.
“That’s it. Perfect. So fuckin’ good… doing just as you were told. You make me so proud,” Steve praises Bucky as he gently rocks into his body. His cock still swollen, and so sensitive. “Oh god, you feel so good I… Jesus Christ… stay just like that. Don’t move,” Steve commands. He tightens his grip on Bucky’s hips and hold him in place. His thrusts quicken, snapping his hips faster and faster, chasing yet another earth shattering orgasm. “Oh yeah, that’s it… right … fucking… theeeere!!” Steve comes with such force a single tear falls from his eye.     
Bucky collapses on top of his lover paying no mind to the mess he’s laying in. He can feel Steve’s softening cock is no longer inside him and he huffs out a sigh. Steve cups his cheeks and raises his head so they are looking eye to eye.
“You’re perfect. So goddamn perfect,” Steve whispers as he peppers Bucky’s face with kisses. “I don’t ever want to know a day without you in my life.”
Bucky’s eye widen with surprise. “Do you mean that?” he asks. “Do you really mean it, or is it the mind blowing sex we just had?”
“I mean it. I love you, Bucky. No amount of sex, or even lack of, will ever change that fact”
“Move in with me!” he blurts out as he braces himself on his elbows. He looks Steve straight in the eye and repeats himself. “Move in with me. I want to wake up next to you every morning. I want to share my entire life with you. Please… say yes.”
Steve is silent for a moment. It’s enough to make Bucky question himself. His smile falls as he realizes Steve isn’t responding as quickly as he’s hoped. “Okay, I get it. Too fast. I’m sorry.” He pushes against Steve’s chest and tries to get up.
“Stop,” Steve says as he grabs Bucky’s arm. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hesitate. I was just shocked. I wasn’t expecting that.”
“It’s fine. Really, I know I can get a little ahead of myself sometimes. I just…”
Before he can finish his sentence Steve places a finger over his lips to shush him.
“How about you hush and we get in the shower? Then once we’re all clean and dressed we can discuss who’s apartment we’re keeping and who’s going to have deal with the headache of sub-letting.”
A huge smile spreads across Bucky’s face. “That sounds like an excellent plan.”
“Actually, I think I have the perfect solution to our little dilemma,” Steve says with a wink.
Beta: @caramell0w
Tags: @albinotigerpython
25 notes · View notes