#jin ling deserved to have his mother raise him

[hannigramislife]

Controversial take ahead!!

Will never forgive Jiang Yanli for walking into an actual battlefield, with no weapon (!!!) looking for the man who widowed her while leaving her literal baby son home.

Like. Did you truly never consider you'd die??? Leave your son an orphan??? Neither thought came into your mind even for a second?? Really???

Okay.

[shanastoryteller]

Happy Pride! Thank you for sharing your writing with us. I would do dastardly things for a continuation of the WWX and JYL return with the kids after being supposed dead. If that doesn't spark joy, anything untamed would be amazing. Thank you so much!! I hope you have a wonderful month

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Jiang Yanli lets her sect effulge her, reaching out her arms for anyone that's straining toward her. The Lan are hanging back, Lan Wangji staring intently at A-Xian as if they're fifteen again, but her brother is too busy being sat on and scolded by a half dozen senior disciples to notice. She cheerfully shoves A-Ling towards his sect brothers and sisters.

He may carry his father's name, but he's still her son, still raised by her and A-Xian. He can't be anything but Jiang.

Too much Jin influence is what had scared her so badly thirteen years ago, after all.

When everyone starts to calm and she's wiped a dozen tearful faces, she catches A-Xian's eye.

He nods, jerking his heads toward the house before shouting to gather the disciples attention on him so she can slip away.

She's so happy to see them all again. But someone is missing.

Jiang Yanli steps slowly through the walls of Lotus Pier. She's looking for what's changed, but it's depressingly little. They are a clan of change, like the ever flowing water of their rivers, and it worries her.

A dam can either make a lake or a swamp.

She steps into the family shrine and sees exactly what she expects to - A-Cheng sitting there, so stiffly that it has to be uncomfortable. "I thought I'd find you here."

He flinches and she's glad that his back is to her so he can't see her mirror it.

"You couldn't stand guilt when we were kids," she murmurs, stepping forward in a way that makes her skirts drag against the floor so it's easy for him to know exactly where she is. "It's why A-Xian's messes used to stress you out so much. Once you were caught, you rushed to be punished because it let you breathe a little easier. No matter how harsh Mother was with you, you always felt better once it was over."

"What sort of punishment does one deserve for killing his family?" A-Cheng asks bitterly. "I've never been able to decide."

Jiang Yanli won't cry. Tears won't help her now. "It was my idea."

His shoulders tense.

"A-Xian saved me. He didn't have a plan beyond that. It was my idea to steal away A-Ling, to fake our deaths, and to run. I was so scared over what had happened, over how close it had all been and how Koi Tower wasn't safe. I was terrified and A-Ling was so young and I couldn't keep myself safe, never mind my son. So I asked A-Xian to run away with me, to someplace I could raise my child without terror. There was fear, still, but it was a manageable weight." She pauses. "It saved all our lives, in more ways than one, and I never would have done it if I'd known you wouldn't get our letters, if I'd known what it would do with you. I would rather live with my terror than your grief."

He jerks, finally turning to face her. His eyes are red.

"What punishment am I owed for abandoning and tormenting my little brother?" she continues, throat tight. "I will take it. I will accept it threefold. I said that we were supposed to be together forever, and I left you behind. I didn't do it on purpose. I thought you were reading our letters. I thought you were still with us, just further away, and I was wrong."

"A-jie!" he says harshly, then doesn't seem to know where to go from there.

She smooths trembling hands over his shoulders, trying to keep it together. "I love you, A-Cheng. A-Xian loves you. We've missed you so much, but we've had each other, and you've been alone. You're not responsible for our deaths, but we're responsible for your loneliness. How will you punish us?"

"A-JIE!" he shouts, pushing himself to his feet so he can tower over her. "Stop - don't - I would never-"

She moves then, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her forehead to his chest.

He still doesn't hug her back, but his chest shakes with silent sobs that even now he can't fully let out.

It's progress.

[stiltonbasket]

I really liked your Girl!Jin Ling fic it could be the perfect setup for a Jin Ling that takes after their other uncle WWX like canon Jin Ling who takes after JC.

Imagine Jiang Yanli telling little A-Ling about the uncle she hasn't met, a uncle who would adore her wholeheartedly regardless of gender, basically a girl Jin Ling who's first impulse isn't to break someone's legs but to ask themselves 'What would WWX from a-niang's stories do?' and immediately do it.

Jin Zixuan approves because f*ck all these people telling him his beloved wife and daughter aren't good enough.

This...would absolutely happen, anon. Omg.

I've mentioned this before, but I never know what to do with Jin Ling when he's been raised by his parents - his character was so clearly shaped by Jiang Cheng that I can't imagine what he might have been like otherwise. But Jin Ling's personality as a girl growing up with both parents would much more straightforward; and like fem!LXC in COTMS, she'd be much less sheltered from the politics and prejudices of the jianghu at large. She thinks they're terrible!

Fem!JL would love to hear stories about her Dajiu while she was growing up. Her favorite story was the one where he threw himself in front of a branding iron to save her Auntie Mianmian, even though Jiang Yanli hates telling it, and she also hears that her dajiu helped save her father's life in the Xuanwu's Cave. Her third-favorite story is the one where her brave dajiu defends her mama from A-Die during the war - small A-Ling insists that this helped Diedie get over himself and love Mama like she deserves.

Eventually, after it becomes clear that her parents will never have a son, Jin Ling decides that the only person who can protect their small family from injustice is Wei-dajiu himself. Obviously, dajiu will put her grandfather out of commission and punish everyone who's mean to mother and disrespects her father. He's the Yiling Laozu who protects innocents, and he's so strong that he doesn't have to care about his reputation when pursuing righteousness!

(Step one of her plan: get to Yiling in secret, without either of her parents finding out. It's going to be harder than it looks...)

[eleanorfenyxwrites]

After Each Midnight Begins A New Day

Extra #13a - 'Technically A Cutsleeve?' (Mo Xuanyu and Lan Jingyi)

[Part 1]

[Masterpost] [AO3]

-/-

For the first time since the arrival of their visitors in Jinlintai, Mo Xuanyu attends dinner with his family. He’s missed them this week and a half, eating his meals alone in his rooms, but he tries not to let it show too much as he listens to the familiar patterns of their conversation now interrupted and enriched by the voices of their three visitors. 

None of the guests speak to him directly during the meal, but that’s fine by him. Jin Lu monopolizes his attention for the evening instead, regaling him with every story she deems important that he’s missed while not attending family meals, and by the time she’s yawning over her last bowl of soup everyone else is preparing to leave for their beds as well. He rises and helps Jin Lu and Jin Zhuang to their feet, taking their hands in his and saying his goodnights to everyone he needs to before he leads the children from the pavilion to take them to their own rooms. He feels eyes on his back as he leaves, but what else is new.

Mo Xuanyu puts the children to bed with a story for Jin Lu and an affectionate, gentle headbutt - forehead to forehead - for Jin Zhuang, who has recently decided he’s much too old for lullabies unless he plays them for himself on his guqin. 

He’s making his way slowly back to his own rooms, lost in thought, when he hears his name and he stops, turning to look for the source only to realize he’s outside Jin Ling’s rooms. He climbs the steps on silent feet to shamelessly eavesdrop, surprised to hear Jin Zixuan rather than Jiang Yanli through the closed door.

“...-havior towards Yu-didi has been completely unacceptable, A-Ling,” Jin Zixuan is saying and it’s clear that though the scolding has already begun, it’s still early yet. Mo Xuanyu settles in with his shoulder and ear pressed to the wooden doorframe, arms crossed over his chest as he listens. “You singled him out as the only member of the family not to meet your friends when they arrived, and I said nothing because he agreed to it out of love for you; but today you treated him like he was beneath you in front of three visiting cultivators, two of whom are their sect heirs and the third of whom is his sect’s first disciple and a potential heir as well!”

“Dad -”

“Do not interrupt me right now, A-Ling. Yu-didi is not only your family, he is your senior, and he deserves your respect like anyone else of his rank - your mother and I raised you better than this. I don’t know when you got this idea in your head that Yu-didi is somehow less than my other siblings, but he is still your uncle and you do not have the right to tell him to stay isolated in the family quarters for over a week because you don’t want him to meet your friends!”

“Dad, he’s embarrassing! No one else in the world acts like he does!”

“I don’t care that you’re embarrassed, A-Ling!!” Mo Xuanyu’s breath hitches in his chest and for the second time that day his eyes fill with tears. “Have you ever once seen me lock my brother in his rooms because he embarrasses me? I’ve seen him do and say every shameless thing I can think of - and a thousand other things besides that I would have never even dreamed of - but I still make sure that he knows every day that I want him here, that this is his home and he has every right to be himself here. Do you want to know what he said to your mother after he left you and your friends in the garden?”

Utter silence greets the question and Mo Xuanyu puts a hand to his chest as if that would calm the thundering of his heart or make it easier for him to draw his next breath.

“Because of you, he’s afraid that not only you but all of your siblings will also want to keep him hidden away from everybody when it’s their turn to invite members of other sects here. He loves you so much, A-Ling, and he cried on your mother’s shoulder because he thinks you’re ashamed of people finding out you’re related, and now he’s scared that all of you feel this way. How could you do this to him?!”

“A-Xuan.” Jiang Yanli’s soft voice is hardly audible through the door. Mo Xuanyu tucks himself even closer, curling in on himself and closing his eyes to better hear her. “We should give A-Ling time to think of an appropriate way to apologize to A-Yu.”

“Fine. We’ll revisit it again tomorrow after dinner. And after your friends have finished with their visit you’re going to spend a month working with me, especially during the audiences we have with other sect leaders. It’s time you get a real look at what your uncle has to deal with from everyone outside of this family - and what he does for this sect every day without anyone’s thanks but mine, your mother’s, and Mianmian’s.”

Mo Xuanyu hastily backs away from the door and hurries soundlessly down the steps as he realizes their meeting is coming to an end and he darts around the corner towards his own pavilion with a shuddery sigh. He tucks himself into the eaves of the building to try to catch his breath, but he doesn’t get very many in before he’s tentatively interrupted.

“Mo-gongzi?”

He looks up, startled, to find Lan Jingyi hesitating a few paces away.

“Oh - Lan-gongzi. Hello,” he says with a hasty swipe of his fingertips under his eyes, grateful that Qin Su had neglected to add more kohl to his look earlier and had instead just given him a gentle kiss of pink rouge around his eyes. At least this time he isn’t in danger of smearing it everywhere with his tears.

“Ah-hah..you can just call me Jingyi if you want to,” Lan Jingyi laughs nervously and Mo Xuanyu manages to muster up a smile for him.

“Call me Xuanyu, then. I hate formalities.”

“Ah..alright. Xuanyu. Are you okay?”

“Oh. Um.”

“I’m just asking because Jin Ling was a real brat today, and..I mean. We all kind of figured he’d said or done something to get you in trouble, which is ridiculous because everyone knows he’s bound to be the bitchiest and most biased person in any confrontation, no matter who the other person is, so it’s not like whatever he could have said would have been believable.”

Mo Xuanyu blinks for a second before he has to stifle (slightly wet) laughter into his sleeve. 

“Oh gods are you sure you’re a Lan, kid?”

“To just about everyone’s confusion, yeah. I get asked that a lot.”

“Yeah I’ll bet you do,” Mo Xuanyu chuckles as he dabs at his eyes with his sleeve.

“Oh, here - you don’t have to use your sleeve like that,” Lan Jingyi fumbles with his own sleeve for a second before he passes him a snow-white handkerchief and Mo Xuanyu is caught off guard by the gesture, though he doesn’t let that keep him from using the cool silk to keep drying his eyes.

“Jin Ling has told us a little bit about his family tree...situation,” Jingyi prompts when the silence has dragged on for a few long moments and Mo Xuanyu can’t help but snort at that.

“‘Situation’,” he quotes back with a nod. “Sure, that’s one way to put it. You mean how the whole thing is pretty much a circle because his uncles are all already related, and the ones who aren’t are married to each other?”

“No, I meant - wait yes! What is with that?!” Lan Jingyi bursts out and Mo Xuanyu hides another laugh in the handkerchief. 

“Don’t ask me! They were all already married by the time I got here. Oh, except for Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang. I actually got to go to that one, but apparently that was just because their sect negotiations took forever since they’re both sect leaders, but they’ve been courting since they went to their lecture season in Gusu anyway so it barely counts.”

“Oh okay. Huh…Well I only mention it anyway because the idiot told us he has two Jin uncles and we all knew Lianfang-zun is in Cloud Recesses and you were here, but Jin Ling kept making really weak excuses for why you couldn’t meet us and we were all judging him. We think he was being awful.”

To say that Mo Xuanyu is startled would be the understatement of the century. He glances at the building they’re standing in the shelter of, remembers that Jin Ling’s rooms are right on the other side of the wall next to them, and without thinking he steps forward to loop his arm through Lan Jingyi’s with a conspiratorial wink.

“Walk with me,” he hums as he tugs Lan Jingyi along the path. His arm is stiff in his grip like he doesn’t quite know what to do with it and when Mo Xuanyu glances at him it’s to find that he’s blushing furiously and staring straight ahead as they walk. “So you all knew I was here, hm?” He prods as he leads Lan Jingyi away from the complex of family residences and back towards the guest quarters.

“Well I mean yeah,” Lan Jingyi snorts without a care in the world - absolutely nothing of the Lan stoicism in this one and Mo Xuanyu is delighted. “Jin Ling told us himself that you’re his uncle and that you don’t really travel so you’re always here to hang out with him and his siblings and stuff, but then you magically can’t make it to anything we’re all doing for over a week? Plus he looked guilty every time one of us asked about you. We’re not stupid!”

Mo Xuanyu is uncharacteristically quiet for a few slow steps as he thinks about how to answer. Normally he wouldn’t care, of course, but he had promised Jin Ling he wouldn’t scare his friends off, and he didn’t know yet what they could handle. He’s not very good at censoring himself though so after a long moment he sighs gustily and shakes his head a little, hair ornaments tinkling.

“A-Ling forgets sometimes, I think, that not everyone in the world is actually at his beck and call,” Mo Xuanyu says a bit tartly and Lan Jingyi laughs, short and barking. His arm finally relaxes under Mo Xuanyu’s hand as he no doubt gets over the impropriety of it and Mo Xuanyu allows himself a little smile. 

“Did he tell you not to talk to us or something?”

Mo Xuanyu clears his throat a little. “Yeah. Or something.”

“He really earns his title of Young Mistress, spoiled like he is,” Lan Jingyi scoffs under his breath and Mo Xuanyu can’t help but snort, which he quickly tries to cover with little success.

“Oh gods is that what you boys call him?” he asks, delighted all over again, and he’s pleased to see Lan Jingyi grinning down at him (perhaps still a little shyly, perhaps with something curious still in his eyes, but at least he’s smiling). 

“I came up with it when we were all in our lecture year. He acts just like one, don’t you think?” 

“It’s perfect! I can’t believe I never thought of it before, I’m heartbroken that there’s someone out there who can tease A-Ling better than I can!” 

“Mo-gongzi!”

Mo Xuanyu looks away from Lan Jingyi to find Ouyang Zizhen and Wen Sizhui sitting on the porch of the nearest of the guest pavilions under a few lanterns to ward off the gloom of dusk. He raises a hand to wave, startled when they both wave back - wave him over. He releases Lan Jingyi’s arm quickly, figuring after a moment that the gesture was for his companion and not him (and that he’d better stop teasing his nephew’s guest anyway), but even when Lan Jingyi goes to join his friends they keep looking at him as if they’re waiting for him too.

He drifts closer with a bit of caution in his steps - it’s been a very long time since he’s had a friend his own age or close to it, and certainly not young men. A-Ling is the closest he’s got since they were classmates once upon a time and could still be seen as the same martial generation if one squints, but that’s it. The concept has become a bit unfamiliar. How do people even make friends with people their own age?

“Mo-gongzi, Zizhen is telling stories to pass the time until it’s late enough to sleep,” Wen Sizhui says when Mo Xuanyu is close enough for the boy to be heard without having to speak up. “Would you like to join us?”

“Me?” he asks, startled, and though he’s expecting a flippant response like the type he usually gets from his nieces and nephews, this time all he gets instead is three quick nods, all just slightly out of sync with each other and painfully earnest. “Oh...Yes, alright,” he agrees with a little thrill for the novelty of it, being invited into a space. He steps up onto the porch to fall gracefully to his knees on the fourth side of the table, and something of his tentative pleasure for the invitation must show on his face because Lan Jingyi shoots him a smug smirk from across the table. 

It’s almost like..like he’s proud that they got him to join them. Like Mo Xuanyu’s presence at their table for the evening is something he’ll be able to gloat about in the future. 

(Mo Xuanyu does, incidentally, overhear him gloating about it to Jin Ling the next day, and he’s unsure why it makes him blush but at least his makeup hides it.)

[plan-d-to-i]

As much as I have mixed feelings about JYL at Nightless City, I’ll never forgive JC taking away the fact it was her choice to be there and her wanting WWX to live just so he could have an excuse to hate WWX more. It’s disgusting how he lies about her death and why and how she died just so he can justify the siege, his hatred, and drag JL into hating WWX even more also.

And I hate how JC stans agree with him and act like it’s all WWX’s fault JYL sacrifices herself for him and totally ignore JC spitting in the face of her final moments by leading the siege.

People want to try talk saying JC deserved his family respected during the ancestor hall scene? Well what about him respecting his sisters final wishes and NOT consistently trying to kill the person she wanted to live?

Agreed. This illustrates it perfectly :

Jiang Cheng replied, “How much has my family given for you? I’m his son. I’m the heir of the Yunmeng Jiang Sect. But all those years, I was never enough next to you. Their love, their dedication, even their life! The lives of my father, mother, older sister, and even Jin ZiXuan! Because of you, all that’s left now is an orphaned Jin Ling!”

With a terrible shudder, Jin Ling’s shoulders slumped. His expression waned as well. Wei WuXian’s lips moved but, ultimately, he couldn’t say a word. Lan WangJi turned to him and held his hand. Jiang Cheng, however, was still not finished. He scathed without holding back, “Wei WuXian, who’s the one who went back on his words? Who’s the one who betrayed our Jiang Sect? Who’s the one that told me that when I became the sect leader, you’d be my subordinate, you’d support me forever, that if the Gusu Lan Sect has Two Jades then the Yunmeng Jiang Sect would have Two Prides, that you wouldn’t ever betray the Jiang Sect?! You tell me—who said those words?! I’m asking you, who said those words?! Did you fucking swallow them all?! (102)

jc is all about jc. He lied to Jin Ling all these years. He doesn't give a fuck how his words affect him. He claimed to care so much about YanLi but he never considered how his mother would have raised him w warmth and affection and instead treated him like crap. Drove him to put himself in mortal danger. He has the gall to talk about what WWX owes HIM after he fucking led a siege that killed him. Dude has no shame or empathy. It's always the jc sob story. His stans relate bc they're the kind of ppl who think if you just bamboozle others into thinking you're a victim you can behave however you want and take zero responsibility for your bs. Then they get mad no one wants to fw them. 🌝

[admirableadmiranda]

What do you think is the occupations of your fav MDZS characters in modern AU?

Ohh anon let me introduce you to some headcanons!!

Wei Wuxian: He definitely always has his parents or found family, he's not stuck with the Jiangs. I could go all sorts of places with him, because he's so talented and clever and good at so many things, but wherever it is he's making things and having a blast and making all the money to support...

Lan Wangji: his househusband. Listen, I know he's a great teacher, I'm sure he'd enjoy that, but what he's enjoying most is taking care of WWX. And he raised a child in canon. If it's a modern au and Wei Wuxian isn't being tied back by an incredibly classist society, Wei Wuxian is the breadwinner and Lan Wangji stays at home and raises the children and still fucks his husband until he begs for mercy every night. They're just great like that.

Lan Xichen: a lawyer, and not in the field he wants to be in. He's pretty decent wherever he is, but he'd be much happier in a different field and that smile is cracking day by day.

Lan Sizhui: being the best boy with both great adoptive parents and still getting to be loved and adored by his bio family as well. He is going to grow up to be so loved.

Lan Jingyi: Sizhui's little brother. The best boy. He's the one who's always covered in dirt and laughing, and he's going to grow up to be as cool as his dads.

The Lan Sect in general: hippies. Live in harmony with the earth and each other, get involved in protests and get in the way of things that are harmful to the earth. None of this rich austere family, we're going with first do no harm, second reach out and use your power to help things be better for all.

Jin Ling: The third baby. In a modern au where Xuanli still die there is no way that anyone comes close to being as great an option to raise him as Wangxian. He deserves a good loving family who understands that he's cranky because he loves and wants to protect them.

Nie Huaisang: He is a spoiled rich boy living on his inheritance and doing nothing just as he wanted. If he does anything with his day, it's collecting things. But he wants to do nothing with his life and it's valid for him to do nothing with his life.

Jin Guangyao: corporate drone who managed to use his father to get into a good job but he's just absolutely miserable because he can play the game so well but the bodies he's left in his wake to get where he is are coming back to haunt him. Whether this is figurative or literal depends on the fic.

Mianmian: Wei Wuxian's best friend, a probono lawyer who specifically goes and finds people who need help and can't afford it. Works with charities and is very big on helping those in need.

Wen Qing: Wei Wuxian's best big sister who is out being a cool doctor wherever she wants. Gets to live a happy life either with a wife or by herself, no scandals needed ever.

Wen Ning: Wei Wuxian's best little brother who is going to find himself a sugar daddy someday, even though his big brother is also happy to buy him whatever he wants. It's just not the same as finding some hot rich guy to spend a lot of money on you. Maybe he'll hook up with NHS in this.

Mo Xuanyu: the other wannabe sugar baby who definitely has something going on with NHS if I'm not shipping him with Wen Ning. May have committed a little murder in the past, but given that his family was definitely abusing him it's not like anyone really tried to do anything about it. Just ruled as self defense.

Jiang Fengmian: got to divorce his terror of a wife and rescue his poor daughter from that. Married for a second time to a kind woman who is nothing like YZY and is recovering and getting to be a happy man again.

Jiang Yanli: got to get far away from her mother and brother and live with her dad instead. Has a simple job and a simple home and a simple life with no contact with the family that does not care for her and is much happier for it. Volunteers at a soup kitchen sometimes and feeds everyone delicious soup. Let her have a kind quiet life. She and Wei Wuxian may not be super close but they like to spend time together.

Xiao Pingguo: Gets to be the family donkey and kick annoying people in the balls.

Wangxian rabbits: Get to be the family pets and loved and adored by everyone.

[angstymdzsthoughts]

A-Yuan is Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian's son AU! - Jin Ling

"But I don't understand!" Jin Ling yells, frustrated, "Jiu Jiu is your real father! Lotus Pier should be your home! I know the Lan raised you, but that doesn't mean you can't reunite with Jiu Jiu now that everyone knows the truth and knows that Wei- that Wei Wuxian isn't evil anymore! Jiu Jiu won't say it but I know he wants both of you back home with him! You're family, and family should stay together!"

"Oh, give it a rest, Young Mistress", Jingyi threw up his hands. They'd been on this night hunt for barely two hours and Jin Ling had been whining about the same thing almost the entire time. He hadn't stopped trying to convince Sizhui to go to Lotus Pier ever since the truth of his parentage was revealed. Sizhui had smiled gently whenever Jin Ling tried to bring it up and politely refuted every time, but Jingyi had already been over it exactly twenty minutes into the nighthunt. He didn't have an endless wellspring of patience like Sizhui. 

Only it seemed neither did Sizhui. He was moving to get on his sword and Jingyi realised with some amount of disbelief that his best friend, the perfect polite heir of the Lans (so suck it Sect Leader Jiang, everyone knows you abandoned him), was actually about to fly off in the middle of a conversation with an actual Sect Leader (still surprising even if the Sect Leader in question was just the Young Mistress). 

"Hey! Where are you going! You can't just fly away from this. I am talking to you, Sizhui!"

Sizhui raised his arm, palm outward in the universal motion for "Stop", and Jin Ling immediately shut up. 

When Sizhui spoke, his tone was glacial, and it actually reminded Jingyi of the few times he'd been present when Hanguang-jun deigned to speak to Sect Leader Jiang.

"Number One, my 'real' father is Hanguang-jun, Lan Wangji, honoured Second Master of the Lan Sect. My father is the man who fed me, clothed me, raised me, protected me, taught me and loved me all these years. My father is the man who defended my mother and my family when the cultivation world's greedy, corrupt and the cowardly-" Sizhui bit down on the last word, leaving little doubt who exactly he was referring to, "- turned their backs on us and later had the gall to murder us for their wrongs."

"Number Two, I belong to the Gusu Lan Sect. It may not be the first home I ever had, but it is the one I remember. It is the only home I was given that was not destroyed. It is the place where I grew up, safe, protected, knowing that I was accepted and that I belonged. And I will never recognise any other Sect as my home."

"Number Three, my mother- " Jin Ling flinched as Sizhui's stare somehow became sharper, "- is not and has never been 'evil'. He has been persecuted, he has been taken advantage of, he has ben discarded and betrayed and slandered. But none of those things are a reflection on the honourable person that he is and the rightful things he has always strived to do."

At the chastened look on Jin Ling's face, Sizhui finally softened infinitesimally, and Jingyi watching, let out a breath he didn't realise he had been holding. 

"Onto number four... you are right. Family should be together." Jin Ling looked up hopefully, but the next words Sizhui spoke dashed his expectations almost immediately, "I am blessed that both my parents, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, have been returned to me, and I believe our family will stay together. This happiness is the least that my parents have earned, and I as their son, will never allow anything or anyone to disrupt it."

Sizhui stepped onto his sword, and Jingyi scrambled to follow. It seemed like nothing was going to save this nighthunt from being officially over. To be honest, it had been doomed the moment Jin Ling came with his misguided idea to speak for Jiang Wanyin in front of Lan Sizhui.

"Oh, and Sect Leader Jin," Sizhui said finally, back to his unruffled politeness, "Number Five." Sizhui was smiling again, but there was a viciousness to his eyes, and a bite to his words that made clear his real feelings, "I don't give a fuck what Jiang Wanyin wants."

 #phew #let sizhui say fuck, please #it's always the quiet ones #that deserve a chance to go apeshit #ayuan would like everyone to know that it is lan sizhui NOT jiang sizhui

[no--envies]

For most of his life, JC considered himself a victim. He thought his father disliked him and preferred WWX; he blamed WWX for everything bad in his life, from the fall of Lotus Pier to his sister’s death, and took WWX’s defection from the Jiang Sect as a personal betrayal. For thirteen years, JC felt entitled to hate WWX and kept venting his own anger and hatred on every demonic cultivator he met. After WWX came back, he still tried to use him as a scapegoat to avoid reflecting on his own faults.

It took something as extreme as the golden core reveal to make him realize how much he had wronged WWX: not only had WWX long since repaid his debt to the Jiang Sect, but the fact that he made such a huge sacrifice without telling anyone was the ultimate, irrefutable proof of WWX’s greatness.

After realizing this, JC couldn’t hate WWX anymore, but he still didn’t want to let go of his hatred, because otherwise everything he had done until that moment would make him look like a clown at best and a horrible person at worst. This is why his rant in the Guanyin Temple was so full of venom. JC wasn’t ready to reflect on his own mistakes and flaws, so he took all of his frustration out on WWX, who didn’t deserve any of his harsh words. In his rant, JC brought up everything he couldn’t stand about the situation: how WWX was such a great person and had always been better than him at everything, even though JC was supposed to be the heir; how he had brought ruin to the Jiang Sect and everyone from JC’s family, leaving only an orphaned JL; how he had broken his promise to be his right-hand man and had defected to protect outsiders, people whom in JC’s opinion WWX didn’t owe as much as he owed to the Jiang Sect.

After this outburst full of bitterness and resentment, we see JC have his first real moment of self-reflection in the whole novel:

Jiang Cheng cried soundlessly, but tears had already streaked across his face. To cry in such an unsightly way in front of others was almost impossible for him in the past. But every single moment that passed from now on, as long as the golden core remained in his body, as long as it could still revolve, he’d forever remember this feeling.

He choked, “… You said I’d be the sect leader and you’d be my subordinate, you said you’d help me your whole life, you said you’d never betray the YunmengJiang Sect… You said so yourself.”

“…” After a moment of silence, Wei WuXian replied, “I’m sorry. I broke my promise.”

Jiang Cheng shook his head, burying his face deep into his palms. A second later, he suddenly burst out with a laugh. His muffled voice mocked, “It’s such a time already, and I still need you to say sorry to me. What a fragile person I am.”

(Chapter 102)

Sect Leader Jiang’s words were eternally tainted with mockery. But this time, whom he mocked was no one but himself.

Suddenly, he said, “I’m sorry.”

Wei WuXian hesitated, “… You don’t need to say sorry.”

At this point, it was impossible to figure out who should apologize to whom.

Wei WuXian continued, “Take it as my repayment to the Jiang Sect.”

Jiang Cheng looked up. He looked at him with teary, bloodshot eyes, and a hoarse voice, “… Repayment to my father, my mother, my sister?”

Wei WuXian pressed his temples, “Forget it. It’s all in the past now. Let’s not mention it again.”

(Chapter 103)

This is the first and only time we see JC apologize to someone. He even admits that his need to hear WWX say sorry to him after so long makes him a fragile person. JC doesn’t want to feel guilty, he’s too proud to fully admit his faults. This is why he keeps bringing up old debts and promises: it’s the only way for him to keep holding onto the illusion of being a victim. JC knows deep down that the golden core transfer was an immense sacrifice and that now he can no longer hold WWX responsible for everything he has always accused him of, but he struggles to accept it. In this moment, it’s easier for JC to see WWX’s sacrifice as a repayment or as a form of redemption. WWX knows JC very well and doesn’t want him to keep ruminating on this for the rest of his life, because that would only make him more unhappy and bitter. Making JC feel guilty is not the reason WWX gave him his golden core in the first place. He made such a huge sacrifice as an act of true selflessness: to save JC’s life and repay his debt to the Jiang Sect, without expecting anything in return.

Wei WuXian, “Uh, I think it’s best if you… also stop keeping it on your mind. I know you’ll definitely always keep it on your mind, but, how should I say it…” He clenched Lan WangJi’s hand, saying to Jiang Cheng, “Right now, I do really think… it’s all in the past. It’s been too long. There’s no need to struggle with it any longer.”

Jiang Cheng wiped his face roughly, drying his tears. He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes.

(Chapter 103)

At the end of the whole confrontation in the Guanyin Temple, JC finally stops using WWX as a scapegoat. He understands that he can’t hold WWX to old debts anymore, that WWX has a new life now and owes nothing to JC. This is why he gives him back Chenqing and doesn’t follow him outside the Guanyin Temple: after an entire lifetime of holding onto his grudges, JC finally starts letting go of some of them and recognizes that he and WWX should leave the past in the past and move on, “each to their own sect”.

Wei WuXian took the flute. Remembering that Jiang Cheng was the one who brought it, he turned over there and commented casually, “Thanks.” He waved Chenqing, “I’ll… be keeping this?”

Jiang Cheng glanced at him, “It was yours in the first place.”

After a moment of hesitation, his lips moved slightly, as though he wanted to say something else. However, Wei WuXian had already turned to Lan WangJi. Seeing this, Jiang Cheng remained silent.

[...]

Jin Ling exclaimed, “You let them go just like that?”

Jiang Cheng mocked, “Or else? Have them stay for dinner? Say thank you and sorry after the meal?”

Jin Ling began to simmer, pointing at him, “No wonder he wanted to go. It’s all because of that attitude of yours! Why are you so annoying, Uncle?!”

Hearing this, Jiang Cheng raised his hand with glaring eyes, scolding, “Is this how you talk to someone older than you? You asking to be beaten up?!”

Jin Ling shrunk back. Fairy tucked in its tail as well. Yet Jiang Cheng’s slap never landed at the back of his head. Instead, it was retracted powerlessly.

He spoke, irritated, “Shut up. Jin Ling. Shut up. We’re going back. Each to their own sect.”

(Chapter 110)

[vrishchikawrites]

There was an idea I had seen on crossdressingdeath's tumblr where JC & WWX were having an argument and then JC tells WWX that LWJ should've died in Xuanwu cave. WWX snaps at him by saying that he had wanted JZX to die as well to which JL overhears that and results in a fallout between the uncle and nephew.

I thought that idea was amazing and I needed to see it written.

(I hope crossdressingdeath or op don't mind me writing this. As always, this prompt goes in a little different direction)

"He should've died and saved all of us the trouble!"

Jin Ling stops and frowns at his Uncle's sharp words. Tentatively, he peers around the corner to see Jiujiu scowling at Wei Wuxian, his eyes flashing and posture stubborn.

And Wei Wuxian...

Jin Ling shivers, eyes going wide.

He has never seen Wei Wuxian angry. He didn't even know the man was capable of anger.

Jin Ling resists the urge to take a step back and run because Wei Wuxian looks ready to kill. His red-tinted gaze is focused on Jiujiu and his expression is almost cruel.

A sneering smile, teeth bared like a demon on the verge of devouring its meal.

"You know, Jiang Cheng, the way you talk about Lan Zhan makes one thing very clear. You've now switched to projecting your insecurities onto him." Jin Ling winces and his uncle snarls, "It would serve you better if you followed his example instead."

"You!-" Jiujiu steps forward threateningly, Zidian sparkling in response to his anger, "How dare you?!"

"How dare I?" Wei Wuxian's tongue goes razer sharp, "Unlike you, I don't stay silent when someone attacks the people I love."

Jiujiu seems to understand something from that because laughs coldly, "I never loved you! You were a bane since the very beginning!"

"Good to know!" Wei Wuxian snaps back, "Because that gives me the freedom to shove some hard truths down your throat." He takes a step forward and for the first time, Jin Ling sees ice-cold resolve on Wei Wuxian's face.

It looks remarkably like Hanguang-jun's expression.

"You forget Lan Zhan wasn't the only one I saved that day, Jiang Cheng. Where would Jin Ling be if I hadn't saved Jin Zixuan? Wen Chao ordered his men to kill both Lan Zhan and Jin Zixuan. Did you care for Shijie's heart at all?"

"Shijie would've moved on." Jiujiu snaps and Jin Ling grows cold, "She would've had children with someone -!"

"Jiang Wanyin!" Wei Wuxian sounds just as horrified as Jin Ling feels.

"You killed Jin Zixuan! You hated him before that. Don't act high and mighty now." Jiujiu says but Jin Ling is just numb. He knows his parents died under complicated circumstances.

While he isn't entirely comfortable with Wei Wuxian's role in their death, he has learned to move on. He hasn't forgiven the man, not entirely, but-

'You're a lot like your father, prickly and sensitive. You also have his heart. He was proud but he had a good heart.' Wei Wuxian had laughed, 'And there's your mother's kindness hidden there, too. You have her capacity for love. Her generosity of spirit.

You are good.'

Wei Wuxian had been the only one to say he was like his parents. Everyone said he was like Jiujiu.

To hear the same man casually dismiss his existence hurt.

"I fully acknowledge my part in it but you don't get to turn this around! Have you no care for Jin Ling?" Wei Wuxian demands, his voice is stern and concerned. "What are you doing, Jiang Cheng? I hope you haven't said anything like this to Jin Ling! That boy is your nephew!"

Jiujiu snarls, "Of course, I care about him! But what about my mother? My father? All the people who paid with their lives because you provoked and distracted the Wens! Are they less valuable than Jin Ling?"

"Jiang Cheng," Wei Wuxian breathes, "Mind your words, what are you saying?"

"I'm right!" Jiang Wanyin says and Jin Ling covers his mouth shakily, "Who cares if Jin Zixuan died then? Who cares if Lan Wangji died? What's so important about them that you were willing to risk it all? If you only had kept your head down-"

"You cruel, cowardly fool."

There's complete silence and Jin Ling swallows.

"The Wens would've attacked regardless. They wanted to setup a supervisory office. They did it already in Qinghe!" Wei Wuxian starts pacing, "Think. Think for once in your life! War was on the horizon and our response was 'let them come to us, we'll fight'. It was arrogance itself to presume we wouldn't fail. We should've prepared, we should have come up with backup plans or evacuation plans! Something. But we did nothing and we paid the price."

"You-!"

"Don't! I am ashamed of you!" Wei Wuxian's tone is sharp and grave, "It is good that we're no longer martial brothers."

Jin Ling sucks a sharp breath and watches as Wei Wuxian spins around and walks away.

"Jin Ling deserves much better than you."

Jin Ling is too shaken to react as Wei Wuxian rounds the corner and spots him. He just looks up blankly as the man's expression goes from cold disgust to horror.

"Jin Ling,"

He sounds heartbroken, somehow. Jin Ling looks beyond Wei Wuxian to see Jiang Wanyin. The man had followed Wei Wuxian to shout some more, he supposes.

He looks shocked and dismayed too. There's perhaps a touch of regret in his expression.

He doesn't care.

He stares at them wordlessly and Wei Wuxian crouches before him, placing both his hands on his shoulders, "Jin Ling- how much-?"

"I heard enough to know Jiujiu thinks I'm replaceable." He says, eerily calm.

"Don't be stupid," Jiang Wanyin says, "I didn't-"

"Just stop talking." Wei Wuxian interrupts, rubbing his hands down Jin Ling's arms comfortingly. "Jin Ling, what do you need?" He asks, raising his hands to cup his face, "How can I help?"

Jin Ling appreciates that his- his mother's shidi- doesn't ask any stupid questions or offer empty reassurance.

He appreciates that Wei Wuxian doesn't say, 'He didn't mean it,' or 'don't misunderstand.'

Jiang Wanyin absolutely meant it.

"Baba?"

They all look to see the Hanguang-jun and Lan Sizhui walking towards them. The younger Lan is clearly concerned. Even the Hanguang-jun seems a bit suspicious, glancing from Jin Ling's face to his husband's and then to Jiang Wanyin.

"Wei Ying?"

"A moment, xingan," Wei Wuxian studies Jin Ling, "What do you need, nephew?"

Jiang Wanyin hisses but Jin Ling grabs hold of that word and embraces it, holding it close to his soul.

He can choose to dismiss him. Or he can choose to reach for the hand that is offered in compassion.

"I need Jiujiu to leave." He takes a deep breath, "And I don't want to see him until I'm ready."

"Jin Ling!"

"Very well, Lan Zhan, can you drag Jiang Cheng away for me? He's being an absolute brat."

The Hanguang-jun doesn't hesitate and Jin Ling refuses to pay attention to Jiang Wanyin's protests. He just stares into compassionate silver eyes.

Eyes that haven't looked away for a single moment.

He takes a deep breath, absorbs all of that focus, and steps forward.

The scent of sandalwood incense envelopes him as his uncle hugs him back.

Even now, he isn't alone.

He needs to focus on that.

[darkandstormyart]

Xicheng fic recs

(figured i might make a list of my own)

(to be expanded as i dig out more treasure/remember stuff)

in no particular order:

Deep as the Yearning Night by FreckledStarKnight

“At first, it was pure chance. The second time was accidental. And the third time? Well, they say the third time’s the charm, after all. Lan Xichen discovers that Jiang Wanyin sings beautifully and is immediately enamored by it. His pursuit of Jiang Wanyin’s secret talent leads to a discovery and a series of events that he did not anticipate at all. Not that he’s complaining, of course. He got what he came for and more. Or, how two sect leaders get together through the song called love. CQL-verse.“

post-seclusion lxc

trying to get jc to sing

bonus lxc & jin ling feels i hadn’t considered before

cute

Always use protection by hesselives

“In which Lan Wangji attempts to hire a new bodyguard for his older brother, a well-known traveling exorcist. Jiang Wanyin doesn’t even make his carefully considered list of Top Ten Candidates, and yet here he is.

Lots of wandering in the countryside, distant yelling, and mildly inconvenient spirits.”

bodyguard au

honestly just really intersting worldbuilding

Rewrite the stars by Arashii

“Five great kingdoms have been fighting for years and when the kingdom of Yunmeng is destroyed, the Crown Prince Jiang Cheng vanishes.In Gusu, Lan Xichen makes an offer impossible for Jiang Cheng to refuse. His life or revenge? There’s only one option and Jiang Cheng swears loyalty to the man he hated the most his whole life, the Crown Prince of Gusu, Lan Xichen himself.Written for XiChengFest2020 - Day 4“

ROYALTY AU ROYALTY AU

enemies to lovers!

flashbacks! i love flashbacks so much ohmygod

No paths are bound by Arashii

“In seclusion, Lan Huan has the support of a ghost no one has seen since the massacre of Yunmeng Jiang. His feelings start changing with the often visits and conversations they share. Before Lan Huan can confess though, he ascends, leaving everything and everyone behind him.

Two hundred years later, back to the Human Realm and without powers, the Martial God Zewu-Jun has a mission to uphold. His Heavenly Calamity started. The clues are little and the support comes in the most unexpected form, the current Ghost King: Sandu Shengshou. Now they need to stick together to contain a menace that is slowly growing.“

TGCF AU TGCF AU

ghost king jiang cheng come on

doesn’t follow tgcf plot, just the setup so no spoilers

jiang cheng gets the dogs and the xichen he deserves

once upon a dream by cafedeolla

“Xicheng soulmate AU

An au where your dreams are small snippets of your soulmate’s day. They’d show small things like buying coffee, reading a book, or hanging out with people from their perspective.

The problem was that people always have expectations and Jiang Cheng knows he always falls short of them. Time and time again.“

soulmate au, but being soulmates is more a problem than a solution

misunderstandingssss all over the place

now with a squel (in progress?)

Lan Furen series by jagaimocchi

“Jiang Cheng leaves Lotus Pier before the Wen Internment Camp and before the destruction of his home. When he meets Lan Xichen on the run from the Wens after the burning of Cloud Recesses, his plan to live a peaceful life away from cultivation sects is quickly derailed. Now, free to make his own choices, he cannot find it in himself to leave the other man's side.

With love, patience and time, Jiang Cheng finds his own happiness and peace with his past.“

have you ever wanted a fic where jiang cheng peaces out from home in search for a better life, bc he’s Had Enough??? jags got you covered

adorable xicheng

good uncle-dad-figure Lan Qiren

ongoing <3

Just around the riverbend by JungleJelly

“One day.

Jiang Cheng just wanted one day of peace and quiet, away from home, away from his responsibilities, away from his idiot brother and his nutcases of a mother and father. Just a few hours alone — him and a boat and nothing else.

Clearly, that was too much to ask for.”

now with a new story in the series which is adorable too!!!

mermaid!lxc need i say more?

Bad ideas (where they lead) by JungleJelly

“Jiang Cheng is a busy man. Fortunately, he is also a huge pushover when it comes to his sister, so when she recommends that he start doing yoga, he agrees pretty easily.Featuring Lan Xichen in yoga pants, Jiang Cheng’s inability to handle a crush, and, perhaps most importantly, a big fluffy dog.“

done for 2020 MXTX MiniBang

yoga instructor Lan Xichen

Jiang Cheng is: struggling with a crush on the yoga guy from youtube & very angry about that

If there’s a price for rotten judgement by TheWanderingHeart

“All Jiang Cheng wants to do is, well... his job, really. Other than that? Keep the city safe, keep his nephew alive, keep his sanity intact (if possible).

So when his brother calls with unexpected news, he knows all of that is about to fly out of the window.

***

[Every instinct is telling him don’t ask, you don’t want to know. By this point, Nie HuaiSang has scooted closer to listen. Jiang Cheng takes a steadying breath and pulls out his antacids. “What did you do?”]”

superhero au, come on

jc just trying to do his job in peace

(he can’t)

i love it so much oh my god *sobs*

The Form of Boneless Ice by TheWanderingHeart

“Mythical beasts have long ago been driven to extinction by the gentry — hunted for sport, but more importantly for their magical cores. Since then, there remains only one creature that has never been caught. The Jiang’s retreated a long time ago. Abandoning land altogether, they sought safety where the humans could not reach.It all comes to a head though, purely by chance. (Or is it by fate that a spontaneous decision allows for them to meet? If fate were a rock!) Jiang Cheng suddenly finds his whole life balanced on the head of a pin — on the flimsy promise of a human boy. In his opinion, things cannot possibly get worse!(But then they do when the Wens decide it’s finally time to search for the elusive merpeople, and suddenly nowhere is safe.)“

there she goes again, with another beautiful xicheng story full of awwww and mythology

actually one of the first xicheng fics i read

i chose it because there were mermaids

painfully accurate takes on Jiang family dynamics

kids! lots of kids!

Let me Slytherin to Your Heart by TheWanderingHeart

“Jiang Cheng never thought he'd return to Hogwarts, but in hindsight, he probably should have known that someday he would.With his nephew about to start school, he reluctantly takes his good friend's bad parenting? career? advice and ends up tumbling head-first back into the madness that he hoped he'd left behind... and rediscovering some feelings he thought he'd left behind too.“

Harry Potter au!

just really fecking cute

lots of snakes

[I am not going to link all of Jo’s fics, though I probably could, just my 3 favourites. UOSB is there by default]

Talent Hunt Crew Finds Angry Guy Shouting On College Campus, Recruits Him For Vocal Projection Abilities by oh_fudgecakes

“Jiang Cheng, resident Angry Guy and heir to a conglomerate empire, has never been the apple of his father’s eye. Quashed under the shadow of his brilliant brother, the music prodigy Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng sees his chance to turn things around when he is recruited by the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt. One problem: he can’t sing to save his goddamn life.As he struggles to develop his nascent singing abilities, Jiang Cheng finds himself sucked into the whirlwind drama of reality TV, helped along by his adoring siblings, his irritable vocal coach Wen Qing, and strangely enough, the unfairly attractive host of the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt, Lan Xichen. Somewhere in the glare of the stage lights and an unexpected first love, Jiang Cheng stumbles upon the thing he was searching for all along: the courage to dream — and to attempt the impossible.“

done for 2019 MXTX Big Bang

uuuuuuuuuuh i might have cried maybe

heartwarming? painful at times? lots of family love?

slowburn xicheng being lovely

The Provenence of Hope series by velithya

“A chance meeting on a night hunt sets a course of events into motion that will change everything. Featuring Xicheng getting together, recovery for Lan Xichen, healing for Jiang Cheng, and always, always, hope.“

got everything. feels. hope. love. ~~healing~~

A Small Measure of Peace by Sandstone112

“With his brother in seclusion, Lan Xichen finds himself in temporary custody of his nephew with little to no expertise in the child-raising department. Uncertain and alone, Zewu-Jun is willing to do everything to be the person Yuan needs—even if it means inviting Sandu Shengshou to a playdate.“

a loooot of adorable family times with jc and lxc taking care of their nephews

good grandpa lqr!

canon but fixed and less painful

🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋if you wish to avoid scurvy:🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋

Some day I’m gonna make you mine series by locketofyourhair

xicheng getting together through the years

friends with benefits but the real benefits are the friends we made along the way

Take me over (take me tonight) by velithya

jiang cheng has a tattoo and lan xichen doesn’t stand a chance

i'd be the sweet feeling of release (mankind now dreams of) by piyo13

two bros, chilling in a cave, no feet apart because they don’t want to lose their cultivation powers what are you gonna do

haven’t read yet and shame on me, but AM GONNA:

Upon Our Silver Bridge by TheWanderingHeart obviously

““When the path ignites a soul, there's no remaining in place. The foot touches ground, but not for long.” ― Hakim Sanai

**

Lan Xichen's sorrows have caught the attention of something. Unlike the adventures and foes they have faced before, there is no obvious enemy here to defeat. If this is the same thing they thought had taken Nie Mingjue's life, then he believes it is fated for him to die as well. Nothing can stop the black fire when it wants to burn.Jiang Cheng is sure his part in this is over. Wei Wuxian is back, his grand adventure concluded, and he'd never been at the centre of it anyway. So what does it matter what happens to him in the end? Slowly, he will come to realise that there will always be a battle to fight, a story to tell, a choice to make, and there is no such thing as an end to anything.“

it was difficult to do things in 2020 and few i regret not doing more than not reading uosb yet :’(

i will tho

Emergency Help Wanted by piyo13

“EMERGENCY HELP WANTED I lied when I got my job. I told them I had a kid so I could leave early from work to pick him up from daycare, take him to doctor's appointments, and occasionally miss a day when he's sick. Long story short, I'm in too deep. I didn't think it through. Looking to rent a kid for bring your child to work day. Must be a boy ages four to six, longish dark hair, likes soccer. Must also be artistic as the macaroni noodle paintings I made seem a little advanced for his age. Also, I will pay extra for someone willing to play the role of husband when dropping him off. He's a prosecuting attorney who often brings his work home. Message me for further details. Serious inquiries only.“

Running Our Hands Through Embers by MarvelousMar

“If asked, Jiang Cheng would compare falling in love with Lan Xichen to a moth inevitably drawn to a flame.It burned.***In which Jiang Cheng discovers that even death can't help him escape from his trauma, so he embarks on a quest to save the people he loves, fix what he can, make the love of his life fall for him, and maybe, somewhere along the way, do a little bit of healing.”

The Beginner’s Guide to Moving On by InvincibleMel

gone from ao3, but i think there’s a link with a pdf going around

[drwcn]

ok but for fem!wwx au does lan zhan believe the rumours? and if so what does that mean for the whole 'i birthed him with my own body!' cause lan zhan did the maths and was like 'no it was just the once and this child is too old' but if he thinks he was just one in a line does he go back to bm after nightless city to rescue a kid he thinks is wei ying's but with another man? does he spend the three years in seclusion cursing every jin whose name he remembers as cowards only to step out, take one look at sizhui, and have an 'oh. i know why wei ying was so determined to save wen qionglin' moment???

Answer:  Haha, nah, Lan Wangji was fairly sure Sizhui wasn’t Wei Ying’s, for several reasons. One, Wen Yuan was born before the wen remnants even went to the Burial Mount. Lan Wangji saw the small child amongst the escape party that rainy night at the  concentration camp. Also, Wen Ning was several years younger than them, which would make it kind of weird if he were the dad. Before Wen Ning became the Ghost General, everyone just knew him as Wen Qing’s kid brother.  Lan Wangji, however, absolutely believed Jiang Yan to be Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian’s child even before Wei Wuxian was resurrected... 

《the midnight sun》 — 

[original], snippets [x] [x] [x] [x], other posts found under #lanyan or #midnight sun

midnight sun [snippet 7]

When Yan’er turned ten, Jiang Cheng decided it was time for her to accompany him to Cultivation Conferences. Most sect heirs began their training this way; Jiang Cheng still remembered his first time, trailing nervously in Jiang Fengmian’s wake. 

Heiresses, in comparison, were few and far between. Even head disciples were rarely girls. Jiang Wanyin had no children. His head disciple was his heiress, and his heiress was Jiang Yueqian (江月千). 

长烟一空 - when the smoke clears; 皓月千里 - the moon casts a thousand miles of light 浮光跃金 - which dances upon the water, golden 静影沉壁 - the shadow of the moon itself like jade underwater*

A jade underwater indeed.

“Shifu.”

Speaking of the devil, here she comes, walking measuredly down the long stairs of Jinlintai towards Jiang Cheng, the epitome of an obedient, filial disciple. It had only been a day and Jiang Yan already had the world fooled. Only Jiang Cheng knew how impossibly obstinate and utterly uncontrollable she was when her mind was fixed.

"Ah, Jiang-zongzhu, this is..." Spotting her, Lan Xichen glanced beyond his shoulder, the question dangling in the sentence he did not deem necessary to finish.

Unbeknownst to Lan Xichen, the child that made her way over was his niece by blood. Jiang Cheng was acutely aware that Yan'er actually resembled Lan Wangji a great deal, and despite having weighed the risks and gains against each other repeatedly before deciding to bring Jiang Yan along, now he was no longer so certain in his calculations. Lan Xichen was not a simple peasant; what if he detected a trace or a hint of her heritage between the furrow of her brows or the curve of her eyes? What if...

Jiang Cheng turned, raising an arm towards Jiang Yan, an introduction ready, but whatever words he had prepared in advance died on on his tongue when he laid eyes on the girl. Suddenly, he was no longer worried that others would suspect her to be Lan Wangji's child.

There was a red ribbon in her hair.

Yan'er stopped at a polite distance from the two older men and bowed in perfect form.

Jiang Cheng's heart stuttered violently in his chest at the sight of that red ribbon falling sideway over her small shoulder. If souls could travel, his would have left him in an instant. He stood in disincorporated panic, wrestling with the nauseating sensation of being ripped from his reality and tossed so far into the distant past that he felt whole again.

"Shifu, Lan-zongzhu." Yan'er greeted.

Shifu. Lan-zongzhu. In another world, another life, she would not need to be so formal. She could easily bound up to them, carefree, cooing jiujiu and bobo and ask to be bailed out from whatever trouble she caused.

Instead, he was only her shifu, and Lan Xichen, a stranger in her life. It would be laughable, if fate had not dealt them each such a wretched hand.

Jiang Cheng stepped towards her. “Where did you get this?” 

Jiang Yan looked up in surprise, her hand reaching up and making an aborted motion to touch the red ribbon in her hair.

“Qin-shenshen gave it to me. Is it not nice?” 

Qin Su. Jiang swallowed down a sigh of relief. Earlier, the Jin servants had sent word that Jin-fu'ren had baked treats for Jin Ling, and the boy had wasted no time dragging his favourite person - his Yan'er jiejie - to his aunt's place with him. Clearly, Qin Su had seized the opportunity to dote on the girl in place of the daughter she never had. Qin Su meant well. She couldn't have known. She's never even met Wei Wuxian.

In this state, Jiang Cheng could barely bring himself to look at his disciple, but he forced himself nonetheless to kneel and tuck an errant strand of baby hair behind her ear. “Very pretty.” 

Yan'er smiled.

Jiang Cheng could cry.

They'd been lucky thus far. Yunmeng's Jiang-xiao-guniang was born a taciturn girl who did not like to smile or laugh, not even when she was expected to for polite society. Whether she was happy or sad, one would be hard pressed to tell. Only in front of her master Jiang Cheng or her Jin Ling-didi did she elect to reveal the full expanse of her emotions. Yet, whenever Jiang Cheng bore witness to that smile as warm and incandescent as sunlight, he could not help but shudder somewhere deep. Recalling the radiant days of years gone by, he could still see - every time he closed his eyes - his er-shijie smiling at him in the very same fashion.

Aiyo, Jiang Cheng ~

So...they'd been very lucky thus far, that Yan'er was not so like her mother in that way, not so free and generous with her smiles. Or else this devastating secret —Wei Wuxian's only wish — would not be able to withstand the test of time.

"Very pretty, Yan'er." He reaffirmed. "Did you thank Jin-furen?"

"I did."

Jiang Cheng stood and turned back to face Lan Xichen, and realized they were being joined by two others: Lan Qiren and Lan Wangji. The latter of two stared directly down at Jiang Yan, visibly stricken and unblinking, as though he'd just seen a ghost. After all, he had often been on the receiving end of that signature smile once upon a time. It was probably not a smile he'd ever expected to see again in this life.

In hindsight, perhaps Jiang Cheng should have made Yan'er wear her uniform like all the other disciples instead of her favourite indigo robes.

“Ah, Wangji, shufu -” Lan Xichen was quick to react, sensing animosity brewing in the disquiet that stretched taut between his younger brother and his fellow sect master. "Jiang-zongzhu, perhaps you would introduce us?"

The First Jade smiled kindly down at Yan'er. She returned his kindness with a polite nod.

Lan Wangji finally dragged his gaze up to meet Jiang Cheng's, a rarity since their violent parting at Nevernight. The venerated Hanguang-jun had developed a habit of pretending that Jiang Wanyin of Lotus Pier did not exist at all. He probably preferred, dreamed of it even, if Jiang Cheng had been one to fall of the cliff that day. He probably hated himself for not shoving him into the molten abyss when he could to avenge the love of his life.

Love. What did Lan Wangji know of love? Jiang Cheng sneered inwardly. One did not compromise one's love and abandon her, ill and with child, to bleed out alone in a cave tainted by demonic spirits.

One did not watch idly as one's love and her people are reduced to ashes for the power and greed of men either....

Jiang Cheng buried the offending thought, too familiar with Wen Qing's ghost that still haunted him in his moments of weakness. Without breaking gaze, he laid a hand on the crown of Jiang Yan's head and said, "This is my first disciple, Jiang Yan, Jiang Yueqian."

"Yueqian greets Zewu-jun, Lan-lao-xiansheng, Hanguang-jun."

Jiang Cheng watched as the icy fire within Lan Wangji's eyes flicker, fizzle, and extinguish entirely. Jiang Cheng's vague silence had allowed him the space to make his assumptions, and he had assumed the most insane explanation.

Is it so difficult for you, wondered Jiang Cheng. To believe that she could be yours? So impossible, that you would choose to doubt Wei Wuxian instead?

Fine.

Hanguang-jun. The venerated Second Jade of Gusu. That's all you'll ever be. Yan'er will never call you Father.

Jiang Cheng decided he had spent enough time today making nice. "Zewu-jun, it's getting late. If nothing else, I will be taking my leave. The conference continues tomorrow. I will see you then. Yan'er, come."

Yan'er bowed again to the senior cultivators, perfectly well-mannered. A dash of surprise crossed those bright eyes, however, when Jiang Cheng took her hand to lead her away. She followed wordlessly, trusting him, and did not look back once at the Lans she left behind.

Now that Yan'er was out in society, there would surely be rumours. No matter. Rumours were nothing Jiang Wanyin could not withstand. How ironic, indeed, that this was to be his lot in life.

For the first time, Jiang Cheng felt he could understand his father.

Note:

The poem is from the Song dynasty, by poet 范仲淹 from his work 《岳阳楼记》

Jiang Cheng of course is also working off a lot of assumptions about Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji's relationship. He has his reasons for hating and blaming Lan Wangji, but not all the blame is deserved.

[robininthelabyrinth]

how about song lan/jiang cheng and a happy ending, please? 💖 thank you for sharing all your amazing fics with us!

Untamed

As they travel towards the Unclean Realm, Xue Yang bound and carefully watched at all times, Xiao Xingchen naturally gravitated towards Wei Wuxian, sharing stories about the woman that had been Xiao Xingchen’s shijie and Wei Wuxian’s mother. Jiang Cheng, distinctly aware that if Cangse Sanren had not died that Wei Wuxian would be – at best – a familiar stranger, kept his distance from that discussion.

At first, he tried to distract himself with Nie Huaisang, but apparently Nie Huaisang had exceeded his quota for interacting with other people in a given day and wasn’t interested in anything other than a long nap in the carriage (Meng Yao, who had been recruited for use as a pillow, had shot him an apologetic look over his head), so Jiang Cheng had to find something else to do. If he wasn’t occupied, he felt useless, like he was intruding somewhere he oughtn’t be.

Somehow, he ended up walking alongside Song Lan.

“It’s an honor,” he said, feeling stupid and awkward. “Your name is – renowned, and your ambition to start a sect based on merit is very impressive.”

“On friendship,” Song Lan said, and Jiang Cheng blinked. “A sect based on friendship. Merit implies that you must have skills or talents that render you deserving of a place; the sect I dream of would have a home even for those whose only skill is in delighting others with their company.”

“That sounds nice,” Jiang Cheng said, feeling unwontedly wistful. Sometimes it felt like he spent his whole life trying to win enough merit, to demonstrate his value, to manage to justify having been born as his father’s son – trying, and failing, while all merit flowed naturally and effortlessly to Wei Wuxian.

He couldn’t even imagine a sect where that wasn’t necessary.

“You would be a good fit,” Song Lan said, and Jiang Cheng turned to him with wide eyes. “You care deeply for your friends.”

“I – I do,” Jiang Cheng said, stuttering over his speech. “I’d do anything for them.”

“Even if they didn’t do anything for you?”

“Why should they have to do anything for me?” Jiang Cheng asked, puzzled, and Song Lan nodded as if he’d said the right thing on the first try without straining, which might be the first time that had ever happened to him.

Suddenly feeling deeply moved, Jiang Cheng acted recklessly: he strode forward and turned to face Song Lan, stopping in his path and careful not to touch him – he would’ve just grabbed his arm if he were Wei Wuxian, but he’d noticed that Song Lan seemed to dislike too-close contact, even from Xiao Xingchen who was as close to him as a brother, and he didn’t want to offend.

“I’d like to be your friend,” he said, bold and brave the way a Jiang should be, and then promptly ruined it by coughing and looking down and muttering, “I mean, that is, if you want. No big deal.”

Song Lan looked at him thoughtfully. It made Jiang Cheng nervous, feeling like he was about to be rejected, but on the other hand it also felt kind of – nice, in some fashion, to know that there were other people in the world who had to think about what they were going to say, who didn’t have a ready answer for everything sitting on the tip of their tongues like Wei Wuxian always did.

“I would be honored to be your friend, Jiang Wanyin,” Song Lan said when he finally did speak, and then he smiled.

There are those that say that the smile of a solemn man was the most beautiful thing in the world, and after having seen it with his own eyes Jiang Cheng was inclined to agree.

A moment later, as if by unspoken agreement, they both turned and continued to walk along the road to Qinghe. They did not speak further on that subject, turning to others, but it was comfortable and evening the way almost nothing in Jiang Cheng’s life was.

When they finally said farewell, he had no regrets.

Later, much later, when so much had happened that Jiang Cheng could no longer recognize himself and fate led them to meet once more, this time at the house in which Wen Qing was hiding them, Jiang Cheng chased after Song Lan again: he called out from his window after him just as he was about to set out.

“Jiang Wanyin?” Song Lan asked, coming forward to him with a frown. For some reason, his eyes seemed not quite right for his face even though Jiang Cheng couldn’t quite put his finger on why. “I thought you were still asleep.”

“Comatose, you mean,” Jiang Cheng said mirthlessly. “One of the needles got bumped, and I woke up a little earlier…are you all right? I didn’t hear much, but – you got injured?”

“My eyes,” Song Lan said, which accorded with what Jiang Cheng thought he’d heard. “They’re better now, though.”

Jiang Cheng nodded. “I’m probably going to die,” he said, trying for a matter-of-fact tone but he was pretty sure that he mostly ending up sounding scared. “And even if I don’t, I’m – I’m not going to be able to – to do anything. For you. I’d be totally useless.”

Song Lan looked taken aback, and then visibly softened when he realized what Jiang Cheng meant. “I told you before,” he said. “It’s friendship, not merit. You don’t need to do anything at all.”

That in all likelihood, Song Lan would never found that sect of his went unspoken between them.

It was just the way of things. Like Jiang Cheng probably dying the second the Wen sect finally caught up with them and found him, useless and weak as he was, without the golden core that he’d worked so hard on all his life. 

You couldn’t change things like that.

“Anyway, there are still Jiang sect disciples out there,” Song Lan said, and to Jiang Cheng’s surprise he offered his hand out to him. “You will gather them and reawaken your sect from the ashes.”

Jiang Cheng wet his lips. He wouldn’t, of course; he wouldn’t be able to, not without a golden core, without cultivation, without hope.

And yet…

He was useless. He should just die and be done with it, not linger around to act as a burden other people.

And yet –

Jiang Cheng reached out and clasped Song Lan’s hand with his own.

“If I don’t, I’ll come find you and join your sect,” he said, only half-joking. Who else would take him as he was now? “But if I do as you expect, gathering them up and re-establishing the Jiang sect…in that case, you come find me, all right?”

“Find you?” Song Lan asked, now truly surprised. “For what?”

“You said that friendship doesn’t have to be about merit,” Jiang Cheng said. “But just because it doesn’t have to be doesn’t mean you can’t bring merit into it. If you’re my friend, I’ll want to do things for you, if I can. If you can do something for me, then why can’t I do something for you?”

Song Lan thought about it.

“All right,” he said at last, and squeezed Jiang Cheng’s hand before letting go. “It’s a deal, my friend. Now lie back down and let me put the needle back into place for you. You need to rest.”

Jiang Cheng’s chest hurt – in a completely different way from his missing golden core and the scars from the whipping he’d received – and he nodded, retreating through the window.

“Don’t forget,” he said, lying down and letting Song Lan reach up to his forehead with the needle. “You have to let me help you, or else it’s not equal. All right?”

“I understand,” Song Lan said.

Maybe he did, because later still, when all the world had changed once again and Jiang Cheng wasn’t anything like the man he remembered himself being – after he’d gone up a mountain and come down renewed, had led an army and re-started his sect, had lost his martial brother and then his sister and then his martial brother a second time over, this time for good, and was helping raise his nephew during the half-year that he’d begged the Jin clan to allow him – after all that, Song Lan really did come to him.

“My friend,” Jiang Cheng said, clinging onto his arms a little too tightly. He’d almost forgotten that Song Lan existed in the wake of everything, had forgotten that there were still people out in the world who he called friend and who called him the same in return. “My friend, you’re here.”

“I said I would be,” Song Lan said, and hesitated. “I have a favor to ask. You said…”

“A favor? Anything. Well, within reason, of course.”

Song Lan nodded.

“I’m looking for Xiao Xingchen,” he said. “I thought I could find him on my own, but all this time has passed, and I still don’t know where to look. I thought – maybe –”

Jiang Cheng had power at his fingertips. He could order a search party – could order dozens – could set a bounty and have every cultivator and every common person in the whole of Yunmeng keeping their eyes wide open for someone of Xiao Xingchen’s distinctive description.

“Let me come with you to search,” he said instead. “Jin Ling goes back to Lanling next week, and I’ll be at loose ends for six months, bullying everyone in my sect with my temper.  They’d be happy to the back of me for a while. We can pick up where you left off.”

Song Lan smiled at him.

It was as beautiful as it had ever been.

Jiang Cheng felt his chest grow tight – he’d thought once that it was hurt he was feeling, but it wasn’t, it wasn’t hurt at all – and he coughed, not sure how to verbalize all of his feelings or even if they would be welcome. Maybe one day.

“Well,” he said brightly, forcing his way through the embarrassment. “Where had you stopped searching? We’ll start there.”

“There was a mountain path,” Song Lan said. “The road sign said that the next place to stop was a place called Yi City.”

“Yi City,” Jiang Cheng said. “Hardly auspicious, but I don’t see why we can’t give it a shot. And with me by your side, if Xiao Xingchen is there or if someone who has seen him is – we’ll find him. See who’ll stop us!”

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 23, second part

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Nature Abhors a (Power) Vacuum

Jin Guangshan, Nie Mingjue, and Lan Xichen have gathered to decide what to do about the remaining Wen people and also what to do about the Yin metal. They have not invited Jiang Cheng to this discussion, or blowhard Clan Leader Yao, despite those clans having been hit particularly hard by the Wens in the course of the war. 

The three of them have a conversation about what to do with the Wen captives, showing their different attitudes towards killing.

Jin Guangshan: Killing is awesome, particularly in project management. It's just so efficient. Nie Mingjue: Killing is necessary, and a little bit fun, too. Lan Xichen: Killing is necessary, sadly, but we can randomly spare some women or old people, as a token sign that we’re not monsters. Kind of like when you have a fancy dinner and include a tofu dish for the vegetarians. Nie Mingjue: Nobody likes tofu, Xichen.

Jin Guangshan says he's looking for the Yin Iron and that they can't let any Wens or "ambitious people" get a hold of it. By ambitious people he means Wei Wuxian, not himself and his murder kid. Lan Xichen realizes this right away but doesn't, you know, do anything to contradict him.  Jin Guangshan says he's asked "A-Yao" to look into it. Which is smart, because A-Yao is already in cahoots with Xue Yang, who actually has the piece of Yin Iron they're looking for.

Getting Jiggy With It

Then Jin Guangshan introduces Meng Yao, now renamed Jin Guangyao, in a weird twist on generation names. He has given him the name of a sibling or cousin of his own generation (starting with Guang), rather than a name of the next generation (starting with Zi). JGS says that JGY just recently learned about about being related to him, although we know perfectly well that's not true. 

And they both talk like he appreciates JGY's efficiency and helpfulness, but that's not why JGS has him at his side. He has taken him in because he is a steel-eyed murder bot, not in spite of it. 

(OP does not believe that Jin Guangyao could have been a good person if only his dad had let him hold Jin Ling that one time, as some have argued. Dude killed his own child because there was a chance he might be disabled in a way that could lead to gossip. Dude is a stone cold killer.)

(more after the cut)

In the language of CDrama costume (which is not, precisely, the language of actual historical clothing), Jin Guangyao has chosen to dress as a minister instead of as a chevalier. This is partly an artifact of his mother's ideas about a gentleman. It also suggests that he’s content with the sort of career that's available to a bastard of a noble house--not inheriting the noble title, but having enough favor to rise in power. 

It may also be a ruse to make him seem like he's not a strong cultivator and not a strong fighter, when in fact he is both, at least by the time he’s throwing death chords at Jiang Cheng, much later in the show. 

Mingjue makes all kinds of grumpy faces and snarky remarks to let everyone know that he fucking hates Jin Guangyao.  Xichen agrees to his “nice refugee camp with only a little death” plan, with no qualifications.

Now we get to see Jin Guangyao's manipulation of Lan Xichen. Lan Xichen says that Nie Mingjue wants a plan that’s more killy, because he believes in punishing evil. JGY deliberately misunderstands this, pretending that Lan Xichen said he, JGY, is evil, kind of forcing LXC to reassure him and take his side in an argument that isn’t actually happening. 

They have a little handholding while bowing, and then after Lan Xichen leaves, Jin Guangyao puts on his evil face and has all the prisoners killed behind the big closed door.  

This is done in such a violent fashion that the blood apparently flows up several stairs to the door, and over the tall raised threshold, before flowing downward toward the camera. Some evil is so extreme that even traditional Chinese doorway architecture can’t stop it.

Run To the Rock

Then we go outside to where Wei Wuxian is standing on a rocky outcropping, thinking it would be a good strategic spot to choose if he's ever in a battle where he wants to commit suicide right quick.

Lan Wangji comes to join him and admire the view, not knowing yet that this view, or one a whole lot like it, is going to be seared into his memory for most of his life.

Lan Wangji is becoming more and more committed to Wei Wuxian, more and more inexorably joined to him, but he still doesn't agree with him. So they each have this comfort in each others' presence at the same time as being massively in conflict.

Wei Wuxian asks him what he thinks of all the politicking and murdering. Who is good and who is evil? LWJ doesn't answer because WWX is leaking black smoke, so he grabs him and tells him to concentrate.  Lan Wangji is, incidentally, wearing Princess-Leia quantities of lip gloss.

Lan Wangji asks if Wei Wuxian would like to learn a new tune, "Absterge" according to Netflix. The fuck? [op looks it up in the dictionary]. "To cleanse, especially by wiping." Also known as aftercare. Netflix. Honey. This word is MIDDLE FRENCH. Will you knock it the fuck off?

So anyway, instead of answering his question about who is good and who is evil, LWJ asks if he wants to learn a song called "Cleansing." Wei Wuxian says “hey babe, are you fucking kidding me?” 

His actual words are "you doubt me too?" meaning "you think I also took the missing 4th chunk of Yin iron to make my ugly tiger amulet, rather than obviously having used that giant sword I pulled out of the turtle?"  

Lan Wangji mentally replays Wen Ruohan's questions in his head--the questions he barked at Wei Wuxian right before choking him unconscious--which Lan Wangji also feels entitled to know the answers to. Fuck you, Lan Wangji. He answers WWX with "when did you forge your amulet?" Which is his way of saying "yes, I doubt you."

Wei Wuxian kindly refrains from saying "while we were on a break, bitch" and instead tells him the exact truth--I found a yin iron sword in the turtle--but says it in his patented "make it sound like a lie" way. 

LWJ keeps grilling him, eventually coming out and saying dude, you knew the sword was Yin iron, why did you need to use it?

This is the crucial question--why WWX broke his first promise, to Lan Yi, which was to try to get rid of the Yin Iron. He won’t tell anyone the answer, which is that he needs to use it because he can't cultivate normally, because he lost his golden core. He made a lot of promises before that happened, and he probably expected to keep them. But without his core, everything changed; without his core, he’s a different person, so it’s maybe not fair to expect him to honor his previous promises. 

I’m reminded of my grandfather, who was the oldest son of an old southern US family, with lots of expectations as the firstborn. He went off to WWI as a soldier, expecting to die. He didn’t die, and so from that point on, he regarded his life as a gift. He felt could do whatever he wanted with it, and let go of expectations from before the war. He moved to Paris and took up with a glamorous divorcee 7 years older than him (my Grandma, eventually). 

The actual point of that story, other than OP having cool grandparents, is that when you think you’re going to die, and then you don’t die, your ideas about what you owe to people can change quite a bit. Wei Wuxian expected to die in the Burial Mounds; he expected to die at Nightless City; he expects it, over and over, and each time he doesn’t die, he gets further and further from being what everyone else wants him to be. And--a lot like soldiers returning from a war-- NOBODY in his life knows how to talk to him about it. 

Wei Wuxian tells Lan Wangji to back off, Lan Wangji says why aren't you letting me help you, and they are once again on the edge of the same fight they keep having. Lan Wangji does some impassioned arm holding while Wei Wuxian says he's not like Wen Ruohan. 

Romantic Duet #1

The argument is interrupted by screams and killing, so they go to check it out, and find the Jins hunting down some prisoners for sport. They arrive in time to save two people. Yay?

Jin ZIxun acts like a jerk, as always. The new element is that per Jin Guangshan, anyone concerned with Yin Iron shouldn't be alive.  He says that the Lan and Nie clans agreed, and challenges Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji stops him from responding, grabbing his wrist.

The Jins leave and Wei Wuxian refers back to their earlier conversation, saying there will be more resentful spirits now and that "Rest" is the music to play, not "Cleansing."

He gives Lan Wangji a long look and then pointedly removes Lan Wangji’s hand from his wrist, by holding his hand, which is some next-level mixed signaling. Lan Wangji totally deserves it at this point, though. He keeps pushing and pushing WWX about his cultivation method, but he refuses to discuss the underlying morality of it, or the morality of the killing going on right in front of them. 

WWX walks off, leaving LWJ to stew in his own juices surrounded by a bunch of fresh corpses. 

Lan Wangji fails his saving throw against the guilt trip, and sits his ass down to play Rest, just like Wei Ying told him to. So switchy!  Wei Wuxian, out of sight but not out of earshot, hears him and accompanies him on Chenqing.

This scene is slightly ridiculous and a whole lot sublime. Ridiculous because it's their first time playing music together, so it's a super slow, romantic, extended scene, but they're surrounded by corpses. And not the helpful, friendly, third-wheel-on-a-date type of corpses.

It's sublime because the occasion of their first beautiful, literally magical duet is an argument. And they are joining together to play beautiful romantic music - as a service for the dead. And they are doing it while they are on literally opposite sides of a literal killing field. And Lan Wangji is sitting literally in the middle of a wide open road; the sort of road that they will both reject, metaphorically, later in the show. There is so much about their conflict and their journey that is encapsulated in this one musical moment.

Lan Wangji, by playing the song Wei Wuxian said was needed, is telling WWX that he took his words to heart, that he is listening, even though they're at odds.

WWX, by stopping and playing with him, is acknowledging this. And by settling the dead souls together, they are both reinforcing their dedication to doing what's right even as they both struggle with knowing what that is.

When Other Friendships Have Been Forgot, Ours Will Still Be Hot

Now we have the sworn brothers thing. I understand, plot wise, why this has to happen, but why would Nie Mingjue ever agree to this? Lan Xichen's puppy eyes are just that persuasive?

If they ever crack your spine, drop a line If they ever cut your throat, write a note If you’re ever in a mill and get sawed in half, I won’t laugh (HA HA HA HA)

Tedious Party Time

Now there's a cultivation party, which is about as excruciating to watch as it would be to attend.

Everyone is lining up to praise Jin Guangshan. To be fair, he did provide shelter for most of the smaller clans while the war was going on. So being grateful is appropriate, but Clan Leader Yao practically breaks his own neck kissing Jin ass. Yao says JGY’s contribution was the greatest of the war, adding, "fuck Wei Wuxian; everything is his fault."

The Jiangs show up wearing mourning belts that show off their itty bitty waists, and Jin Guangshan makes shifty eyes like a cartoon landlord when he sees them arrive.

JGS praises Jiang Cheng, and asks when his fancy clan-leader ceremony is going to happen. Jiang Cheng says he's still in mourning so it's not appropriate. JGS is like “Oh...yeah," as if he totally forgot about all the Yunmeng slaughter, and talks up his friendship with Jiang Fengmian. He acts comforting while WWX manages not to barf.

Then the Lan clan shows up and there is nice encouraging chit chat between LXC and JC...

...and just, SO MUCH mournful staring between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian.

Then the Nies arrive.  Jin Guangshan tells Nie Mingjue he's late, and that everyone's waiting for him. That might be true in the script but it’s clearly bullshit on the screen, where the Lans and the Jiangs are still milling around looking for the coat room.

Nie Mingjue--who, let's remember, JUST swore to be brothers with Jin Guangyao--looks at him like he's something that fell off a garbage truck.  Lan Xichen jumps in to maximize the discomfort by pointing out that Jin Guangyao should address Nie Mingjue as Big Daddy Da-ge from now on.

Then the Jins offer Nie Mingjue the giant fire throne because...he's the leader of the Sunshot campaign, I guess? Of course it's all a manipulation tactic, designed to make him say he won't sit there, so that JGS can elevate himself to head cultivator, or something? And sit in front of the throne but not on it? Cultivator succession seems kinda arbitrary. 

I swear to god, it wasn't until I was clipping this episode that I realized Wen Ruohan had two thrones and they're in different rooms from each other.

Finally everyone goes to sit down, but because there hasn't been enough fucking awkwardness, JGY stops WWX to ask him what's on his mind. WWX asks him why he's not carrying his sword, which made me laugh and laugh. Wei Wuxian must have been just waiting for a chance to ask someone else that question for a change. 

Jin Guangyao says he threw it away, because it was just a random sword, but he really means he had it made into a sneaky murder belt, that he will be using again in 13 to 16 years. They both fake-laugh and trade Mean Girls insults pretend to like each other. 

Everyone wanders around toasting each other. Lan Wangji goes to find Wei Wuxian, after first making sure that his hair looks good.  

Wei Wuxian is lying around on the steps, sprawling and drinking wine, and not, incidentally, looking for Lan Wangji. He continues to not seek him out and Lan Wangji continues to chase after him.

Wei Wuxian says "how about playing Cleansing?" but Lan Wangji says he's learning a new score. It looks like it's going to be another argument, but then Wei Wuxian smiles and kind of praises Lan Wangji for being stubborn. 

Awkward Marriage Proposal

Just then everyone inside starts cheering for Jin Guangshan to give a speech. Jin Guangshan is making a move to marry Jiang Yanli to his son, which is a big time power grab, given that the Jiang Clan is 1. vulnerable and depleted 2. has control of the Yin tiger amulet.

We get a very rare glimpse into Jiang Cheng’s inner mind, where he thinks that saying yes isn’t a great idea, but isn’t sure what to do. This marriage would make his sister happy, but could destroy the Jiang Clan's independence.

Fortunately, Wei Wuxian joins the party just in time to fuck up Jin Guanshan’s plans. Will this teach Jin Guangshan not to invite Wei Wuxian to parties? It will not.  

Soundtrack: Friendship, by Cole Porter (from “Anything Goes”)

Bonus:

[bloody-bee-tea]

JC Love Month 2020 Day 12

Ego and Inflexibility

Day 12 of JC Love Month brings some more Lan Qiren feelings, who is most definitely fed up with JFM's shitty parenting and he is so over it that he forgets all of his manners. It's exactly what Jiang Cheng deserves.

Jiang Cheng isn’t sure what they are waiting for—in front of Lan Qiren’s personal quarters no less—but Jin Ling is inside and so Jiang Cheng waits, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji right by his side.

“Do you know what this is about?” Wei Wuxian asks him suddenly, clearly fed up with waiting already. “A-Yuan is inside, too, but he wouldn’t say what’s going on.”

“Same with Jin Ling,” Jiang Cheng says with a sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose.

He would accuse the juniors of shenanigans, but Lan Qiren is involved, so clearly it cannot be that bad. He would have told them to stop otherwise, Jiang Cheng is sure of that.

Lan Wangji doesn’t actually contribute anything to the conversation but Jiang Cheng gets the distinct impression that he’s not liking this, either, but then the door opens and the juniors and Lan Qiren step out.

“What is going on here?” Jiang Cheng asks and keeps his gaze on Jin Ling, because he’s bound to break first under his glare.

“I told them not to do it,” is the first thing Jin Ling says, and he does seem strangely guilty, but then Lan Sizhui speaks up and Jiang Cheng turns his attention to him.

“So, here’s the thing,” Lan Sizhui starts, clearly nervous and when he can’t seem to find his words, it’s Lan Jingyi who speaks up.

“We brought back your dad for you,” he says and when Ouyang Zizhen elbows him in the side he let’s out a pained noise.

“We brought Jiang Fengmian back for you,” Ouyang Zizhen clarifies and Jiang Cheng’s mood plummets faster than it has in years.

“Why the hell would you do that?” he demands to know and Lan Jingyi waves his hands at him.

“We didn’t actually bring him back,” he tries to reassure them. “We just called his spirit here and gave it a more solid form, so you can talk to him for the day. Uncle Qiren made sure we did all of it correctly.”

“Uncle,” Lan Wangji chastises him, way too mildly if anyone were to ask Jiang Cheng, but Lan Qiren only strokes his beard.

“There’s some catharsis to be found in this, I am certain,” he says and Jiang Cheng takes a deep breath.

He doubts catharsis is the thing they will find here, but it seems like no one cares about his opinion.

“Uncle Fengmian is back?” Wei Wuxian says and he sounds doubtful, but Jiang Cheng knows him well enough to hear the hope in his voice.

“For the day,” Lan Sizhui says. “You always talk so fondly of him, and we thought it would be good for you to talk to him again. And Sect Leader Jiang, he’s your father, we thought you’d like to speak to him, too.”

“I told them they were being stupid,” Jin Ling grumbles and Jiang Cheng has to bite back a small smile.

“We already caught him up on all major events, so you can jump straight in,” Lan Jingyi says excitedly and now Jiang Cheng is glad that Lan Qiren was there all along, because at least like this Jiang Fengmian got the right version of events.

“Fine, let’s do this, it’s not like we’re getting out of this,” Jiang Cheng says with a sigh and starts to walk up to the room, when Wei Wuxian stops him.

“Are you sure you’re alright with this?” he lowly asks, and even though they are still mending their relationship, it’s nice to see that they still understand each other like this.

“No,” Jiang Cheng answers honestly but with a shrug. “But there’s nothing to be done about it now, is there? I’m not actually so unfilial as to leave a ghost hanging,” he says and it startles a laugh out of Wei Wuxian just like he hoped.

“Alright, let’s go,” Wei Wuxian suddenly cheerfully says, and leads the way into the room.

Jiang Cheng is surprised to notice how much he forgot about his father in the past twenty years and it’s like a punch to the gut to see him again, unchanged and untouched by time.

Well, being dead will do that to you, Jiang Cheng guesses.

“Uncle Fengmian,” Wei Wuxian yells once inside the room and Jiang Fengmian looks Wei Wuxian up and down with a smile.

“You really do have a new body,” he says, as if Lan Qiren would lie to him about that. “But you’re still unmistakably my A-Ying,” he then adds and Jiang Cheng chooses that moment to step into his sight as well.

“Jiang Cheng,” his father says, looking him up and down much more critical than he had Wei Wuxian. “The spitting image of your mother I see.”

“Thankfully,” Jiang Cheng bites out and sits down, ready to get this over with as soon as possible.

There’s a very small part of him that hopes that he interpreted his father’s actions and words in his childhood wrong, but with how this started, Jiang Cheng knows it’s a foolish hope.

His father is exactly like he remembered him.

“Why are you not wearing purple, A-Ying?” Jiang Fengmian asks Wei Wuxian who throws a love sick look at Lan Wangji.

“Because I’m no longer a disciple of Yunmeng Jiang,” he answers, and while it still stings, they are making their way back to that.

Wei Wuxian forgot Chengqing in his old room last time he visited Lotus Pier and Jiang Cheng dares to hope that it means something.

“And why is that?” Jiang Fengmian asks, sending a sharp look at Jiang Cheng.

“Because I married Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian cheerfully says—too cheerfully, if you ask Jiang Cheng—and he throws himself at his husband who catches him easily.

“I see,” Jiang Fengmian says with a small smile. “What a wonderful match.”

“It is,” Wei Wuxian agrees and then Jiang Fengmian turns to Jiang Cheng.

“Are you married?” he asks and Jiang Cheng shakes his head, expecting the sour look on his father’s face.

“I never quite found the time for it,” Jiang Cheng easily says because he long stopped being bothered by that fact.

“Ah, yes, I heard about what happened,” Jiang Fengmian gives back and turns his attention back to Wei Wuxian.

“You invented a new cultivation style. I am very proud of you,” he says and Jiang Cheng can’t help the snort he lets out at that.

“Do you have something to say to that, Jiang Cheng?” Jiang Fengmian demands to know and Jiang Cheng clicks his tongue.

“His new cultivation style killed over three thousand people before it eventually claimed his own life. I’m not sure that’s something to be proud of,” Jiang Cheng says, with an apologetic look to Wei Wuxian, who nods along.

“Yeah, it cost too much. It’s not actually something good, you know,” Wei Wuxian agrees but Jiang Fengmian shakes his head.

“But you did it because you gave your core to Jiang Cheng and didn’t have another choice, right? I’d say that’s a sign of true strength.”

“Wow,” Jin Ling mutters behind Jiang Cheng and Jiang Cheng is inclined to agree with him.

“And you lost your core in a reckless move, did you not?” Jiang Fengmian asks Jiang Cheng next and by now everyone in the room seems uncomfortable, even Lan Wangji.

Jiang Cheng has to give it to his father, he has quite the talent.

“Clearly,” Jiang Cheng bitterly says, but he does feel vindicated when he realizes that his father is just as bad as he was in his memory.

“What did you do while A-Ying learned to master his new life and got a family on top of that?” Jiang Fengmian asks and by now everyone in the room is holding their breath.

“You mean what did I do while Wei Wuxian was dead?” Jiang Cheng corrects him and then goes on without actually letting Jiang Fengmian speak. “I was building Lotus Pier back up, that was completely destroyed in the attack,” Jiang Cheng says, and he says it with pride, too, because he managed to do what people thought was impossible. “I raised my nephew and brought my Sect to greatness again.”

“By taking in everyone you could find,” Jiang Fengmian spits out. “Being a Jiang disciple used to mean something, once upon a time. And now look at who you are taking in. I hear your right hand used to be a servant.”

“As your right hand used to be, if I remember correctly,” Jiang Cheng sharply says and Jiang Fengmian’s eyes apologetically dart to Wei Wuxian, who is clenching his hands on his thighs.

“Listen, father, I don’t know what you remember, but when you and mother died, so did the majority of our people. Thousands of disciples were killed that day. They didn’t even spare the kids, did you know that? There wasn’t all that much left, after the Wens were done.”

“Still, you should have kept some priorities.”

“My priority was to rebuild my home,” Jiang Cheng shoots back but he knows that it’s futile.

It doesn’t matter what he says to his father, it won’t make a difference, because he is not Wei Wuxian.

“And yet you couldn’t even protect your family,” Jiang Fengmian bites out. “Yanli died, and for what?”

“For protecting Wei Wuxian, so really, shouldn’t you be proud of her?” Jiang Cheng says and Wei Wuxian makes a wounded sound next to him.

“It was my fault,” Wei Wuxian lowly admits. “I lost control and everyone wanted to kill me, and shijie only died because she tried to protect me.”

“Like family should,” Jiang Fengmian says and Jiang Cheng had enough of this.

“I think we’re done here,” Jiang Cheng says and it’s clear that Jiang Fengmian wants to say more to him, but it’s surprisingly enough not his voice that rings out.

“Sit back down,” Lan Qiren orders him and Jiang Cheng is surprised enough to simply do it.

“Wei Wuxian, do you have something to say?” Lan Qiren asks Wei Wuxian, voice softer than Jiang Cheng remembers ever hearing it, and Wei Wuxian nods so vigorously that his hair flies.

“You are a shitty father,” Wei Wuxian says then and Jiang Cheng sits down more firmly, because that he has to hear.

“Wei Ying!” Jiang Fengmian admonishes him but Wei Wuxian clearly doesn’t care.

“No, you are! Jiang Cheng survived a war! You died in the first wave of attacks and he survived all of them and he led a destroyed Sect to boot. He was thrust into the position as Sect Leader so young, but he did it, and he did it more than well. And he didn’t survive just one war, he survived my armies of undead as well.”

“You would have never hurt him,” Jiang Fengmian defends Wei Wuxian, even now, and Jiang Cheng huffs out a bitter breath.

“I would have,” Wei Wuxian argues and makes a grimace at Jiang Cheng, clearly apologizing for that. “I lost control, much earlier than people think, and there was nothing I wouldn’t have done. And I died for my sins.”

“But you did the impossible and came back,” Jiang Fengmian says and Wei Wuxian glares at him.

“I am back because poor Mo Xuanyu was harassed so much that he thought suicide would be better than living on. I was summoned back as a vicious spirit. There is nothing admirable about that,” Wei Wuxian vehemently says but Jiang Fengmian doesn’t seem like he is very much interested in how  Wei Wuxian is not the amazing guy he still seems to believe he is.

“Still,” Jiang Fengmian says and looks back at Jiang Cheng. “You don’t seem any closer to understanding the Sect motto than you were when I was still alive,” he says, and Wei Wuxian’s eyes flash red.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t actually want him to attack his father, even though it would be quite the sight to behold, but before he can do anything to stop Wei Wuxian, Lan Qiren speaks up.

“You egotistical, inflexible piece of shit,” Lan Qiren says, and it takes Jiang Cheng a moment to realize that those words really came out of Lan Qiren’s mouth.

But when everyone is staring at him, their mouths mostly open because no one heard Lan Qiren talk like that before, Jiang Cheng comes to the conclusion that it must have been really him.

“Qiren,” Jiang Fengmian starts, but Lan Qiren seems absolutely ready to tear Jiang Fengmian a new one.

“Do not speak to me like that,” Lan Qiren says. “You are a disgrace to your Sect. You never even attempted the impossible, because you were too mellow to ever take a challenge at all. And you can’t even recognize great men, because your son is sitting there after he achieved the impossible time and time again and you have nothing but contempt for him.”

“You shouldn’t speak on family matters,” Jiang Fengmian tries but clearly Lan Qiren is not done.

“I have more right to speak on family matters, than you do,” Lan Qiren says. “Especially when it comes to your son, who you so clearly think the worst of. You hold your son in so little regard that you really believe him to be so stupid as to lose his core in a reckless move? Seriously, out of the two, you’d think Wei Wuxian would be the one to do that, and yet you can’t even be bothered to question it.”

“What?” Wei Wuxian asks and Jiang Cheng desperately wonders why he never learned the silencing spell the Lans love so much.

It would come in really handy right now.

“Wait, what?” Wei Wuxian says again and looks back and forth between Lan Qiren and Jiang Cheng. “Say that again.”

“I think that’s enough,” Jiang Cheng says, but now Jin Ling chimes in for the first time.

“No, I think Teacher Qiren should speak,” he says, clearly remembering that moment after the whole temple mess. “I think this needs to be said.”

“And I think I’m going to break your legs,” Jiang Cheng hisses, but Jin Ling only smiles at him.

“Jiang Wanyin!” Jiang Fengmian yells. “How dare you speak like that to your sister’s son.”

Jiang Cheng has a few choice words for that, but before he can articulate them, Jin Ling gives him his best glare.

“He’s my jiu-jiu and he can speak to me however he wants,” Jin Ling tells him with more bite than Jiang Cheng expected and it’s almost enough to derail the previous conversation.

But only almost, because Wei Wuxian is worse than a dog with a bone.

“Wait, let’s go back, what was that about Jiang Cheng losing his core?”

“It was nothing,” Jiang Cheng says, mostly because he doesn’t want to do this in front of his father.

If the truth comes out—and it seems more than unlikely that he can keep it a secret for much longer—then he doesn’t want to hear what his father has to say to that.

It will probably be the only time he will praise Jiang Cheng, because he did it to protect Wei Wuxian, and Jiang Cheng couldn’t give less of a fuck about that.

“I think it’s time for you to go back now,” Jiang Cheng says with a meaningful look to Lan Qiren, who thankfully seems to understand enough to undo the summoning circle without a second thought and Jiang Fengmian vanishes before he can say another word.

“If you think that gets you out of telling the truth, you’re mistaken,” Wei Wuxian says to Jiang Cheng, who only shrugs, because he knows when he’s being beat.

“Fine, whatever,” he says and motions for Lan Qiren to speak.

“You’re not so stupid to try and get your parent’s bodies back, no matter how much you’re grieving. So there must have been another reason you got captured,” Lan Qiren says, and Jiang Cheng didn’t know he thought so highly of him.

“Maybe I am just that stupid,” Jiang Cheng tries, but Lan Qiren sends him such a sharp glare that Jiang Cheng flinches.

“Tell the truth, Jiang Cheng. What did you do?” Wei Wuxian whispers, though Jiang Cheng can already see understanding dawn on him.

“You were buying medicine for A-jie,” Jiang Cheng says after a long moment, and he looks down at his hands, because it feels safer than looking at Wei Wuxian. “Wen soldiers were coming up behind you, and they wouldn’t have passed by.”

“And then they got distracted,” Wei Wuxian mumbles, “by you. Why would you do that?” he wants to know and at that Jiang Cheng lifts his gaze.

“I just lost my entire family, my home. Do you really think I could have survived losing someone else?” he wants to know and it stuns Wei Wuxian into silence.

“You distracted them to safe my life,” Wei Wuxian says and Jiang Cheng clicks his tongue.

“They would have killed you on the spot or tortured you. Wen Chao hated you enough for both, so I had to do something.”

“And then you got tortured,” Wei Wuxian cries, and Jiang Cheng is acutely aware of all eyes on him.

“Not in front of the kids,” Jiang Cheng hisses out, but before he’s even done, Wei Wuxian has thrown himself at Jiang Cheng.

“I love you, too,” he sobs out and Jiang Cheng’s eyes are burning enough that it’s safer to just hide his face in Wei Wuxian’s neck.

“Yeah, yeah,” he awkwardly says around the lump in his throat. “I love you, too.”

There’s a long moment of silence, before Lan Qiren clears his throat.

“Now that this unpleasant situation is over, everyone is free to leave.”

Wei Wuxian only reluctantly parts from Jiang Cheng, but when Jiang Cheng smiles slightly at him, he seems to understand that there will be time later.

“Lan Qiren, I didn’t know you held my shidi in such high regard,” Wei Wuxian says, clearly not done with the unpleasant situation and Jiang Cheng wants to strangle him.

“Sect Leader Jiang is one of the bravest, most capable cultivators and Sect Leaders I ever had the honour to teach and I will not stand for any slander against him,” Lan Qiren says, very deliberately not looking at Jiang Cheng, who is glad about that.

Because his eyes are burning like crazy again and he doesn’t actually want Lan Qiren to see him cry.

“He took his Sect and his Sect’s motto to heights that were never before reached and he should be held in the highest regard by everyone,” Lan Qiren mercilessly goes on, and Jiang Cheng only doesn’t burst into tears, because Jin Ling presses into his side.

“He’s right,” Jin Ling says and all the juniors agree.

“Absolutely,” Wei Wuxian predictably says, but when even Lan Wangji makes an affirmative noise, it all becomes too much for Jiang Cheng.

“Alright, stop that, enough,” he snaps out, his voice only barely shaking and everyone laughs at him.

Even Lan Qiren’s face softens.

“It’s only the truth,” Lan Qiren says and Jiang Cheng gives in to the fact that his dignity is a lost cause today.

He does burst into tears, but it’s not at all bad, because Wei Wuxian is the first one to hug him and he’s crying, too.

Jiang Cheng thinks it’s only fair that they both lose face like this in front of the kids and their teacher.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

[trilliastra]

[much fluff with a dash of angst, but mostly jin ling coping with being a sect leader and his uncles being there for him. jin ling & jiang cheng & wei wuxian.]

-

Jin Ling has been a Sect Leader for exactly four months and eighteen days when the letter arrives.

Sect Leader Yao wishes to invite you and…

Jin Ling rolls his eyes. It’s always an invitation for dinner or a ‘sumptuous trip to try our most beloved meals’ and it always ends with Jin Ling visiting their crops and listening to hours upon hours of a speech about the advantages of having Sect Leader Yao as ally and biggest business partner.

Jin Ling always leaves with a headache and the certainty that not even the finest crops in the world are worth enduring that old hag’s voice for days.

He’s wondering if he could get away with ‘accidentally’ dropping the letter in the fire when the word ‘marriage’ catches his attention.

Dread spreads through his body. His uncle has warned him about this, lectured Jin Ling about taking his time, being careful around pretty ladies, but he thought he had more time! He’s still sixteen, why would he want to marry anyone right now?

He keeps reading, curiosity getting the best of him, and then he realizes, Sect Leader Yao is proposing an alliance through marriage, but not with Jin Ling.

With his uncle.

-

Jin Ling does not mention the letter to his uncle. He does not think that would end well for him or Sect Leader Yao, and though Jin Ling would not mind if the old man was accidentally pushed into a pit so deep he could never escape – it would save him so much time and tears of frustration – he does not want his uncle to start a war. One murderous uncle is enough, thank you.

So Jin Ling does the next best thing and throws the letter into the fire, pretends it never happened and leaves Sect Leader Yao to deal with it alone.

That’s not the end of it, though. Of course not. Jin Ling could not be that lucky.

The second letter comes the next week, and by the time the twelfth letter arrives, Jin Ling is just about ready to start a war himself, so when Wei Wuxian shows up unannounced, he cannot be blamed for throwing a whole jar of wine on his head.

Wei Wuxian’s entire bright demeanour is particularly annoying when Jin Ling has been experiencing a headache for the past – what, month?

“You look stressed.” Wei Wuxian points out, wiping the wine off his face with the sleeve of his robe (‘such a waste’, he had said, but instead of leaving as Jin Ling had hoped, he simply collapsed on a chair and grinned, ugh).

“The letter just won’t stop!” He grits out, angry, throwing the closest letter – from Ouyang Zizhen’s father of all people, apparently, he has two daughters that would be just ‘perfect’ for Jin Ling’s uncle – towards Wei Wuxian.

“Oh,” Wei Wuxian laughs hysterically for a good minute while Jin Ling stares, unamused, “I did not think Jiang Cheng would be this disputed.”

Jin Ling tries not to take offense on that, but the words come out of his mouth before he can hold them back, years of having to defend his uncle from other disciples getting the best of him. “He would be a great husband!” Jin Ling argues. “If he wants to!”

Wei Wuxian raises his hands, placating, but he still has that knowing smirk on his face. “I know.” He says, softer this time. “He always liked to pretend to be cold and angry, but we knew-” Jin Ling feels a shiver run down his spine at the mention of his mother so casually. His uncle talked about her, told him stories about his parents, but he never looked at ease while doing it, his eyes always trying to hide the pain, “Jiang Cheng is especially warm inside, he takes criticism to heart and he hurts just as easily, just as deeply. Maybe even more than the rest of us.” Wei Wuxian gets a distracted look on his face, lost in thoughts and memories that Jin Ling knows he will never understand, does not know if he even wants to.

The pain and the heartbreak that molded his uncle while he was growing up, Jin Ling has long understood that it came from years of self-doubt and self-loathing.

‘I am proud of you, it does not matter what happens, who you are, what you do, I am proud of you’, Jin Ling heard those words more than once as he grew up, his uncle wiping his tears of frustration and anger when he failed at hitting the targets with his arrows, lost a fight with one of the older disciples. He did not think much of it at the time, but after the temple, after hearing the pain in his uncle’s voice while arguing with Wei Wuxian, the pain of being left alone – Jin Ling understood that those were words his uncle wishes someone had told him.

“I know.” Jin Ling says, softly, before looking down at the pile of letters still on his desk. He lets out another groan of frustration. “But why me?” He cries out while Wei Wuxian starts giggling again. “They should send these to him!”

“Oh, my dear A-Ling.” Wei Wuxian says, taking deep breaths to control his laughter. “They want your help.”

-

“No, no.” Jin Ling groans, pacing around the room. Wei Wuxian watches him patiently, drinking from a new jar of wine one of Jin Ling’s servants brought. “I will not be Jiujiu’s matchmaker! I have other things to do! Did you know there are rumours of a ghost terrorizing a village? At least twenty families have arrived to Lanling yesterday, I do not have time to help Sect Leader Yao se – seduce Jiujiu!”

Wei Wuxian – proving to be just as useless as Jin Ling had thought – snorts and reaches out for another jar of wine. “You are pathetic.” Jin Ling points out, rolling his eyes when Wei Wuxian merely shrugs.

“You are the Sect Leader.”

“I know!” Jin Ling cries out, throwing his arms up in frustration. To his horror, he feels himself starting to tear up.

He hates crying, even more in front of others. He knows he does it a lot, he’s always been a crier, but he is, as Wei Wuxian pointed out, a Sect Leader now. He cannot just burst into tears every time he feels tired or sad or—overwhelmed.

“Jin Ling—” Wei Wuxian starts, softly, but a knock on the door stops him.

“Sect Leader,” his secretary calls, sounding panicked, and though Jin Ling wants to tell him to leave, he takes a deep breath and orders him in, “you have a visitor.” He announces.

“Who-” Jin Ling tries to ask, but the door flies open before he can finish and soon enough his uncle is stalking into his office.

If it weren’t for the secretary still watching them, Jin Ling would have dropped everything and ran into his uncle’s arms, crying as if he were five years old again.

-

“You do not have time to write,” his uncle accuses as soon as the door closes behind Jin Ling’s secretary, “but you have time to chat with him.” The tone is not as cold as it used to be and Wei Wuxian offers him a wave and a teasing grin instead of flinching like he also used to do.

“I did not invite him,” Jin Ling turns around, scrambling to wipe his tears. It has been a rough couple of days, emotion got the best of him, “he just showed up and now he refuses to leave.”

“Not fair!” Wei Wuxian cries out, pretends to be wiping a tear while his eyes shine with mischief. Jin Ling’s uncle rolls his eyes, expression so soft Jin Ling feels himself tearing up again.

His uncle deserves so much more than an arranged marriage.

“A-Ling.” Jin Ling looks up, finds both his uncle and Wei Wuxian looking at him with concern. “What is wrong?”

“Nothing.” He shouts, starts rearranging the papers on his desk as to have something to do with his hands, something to distract him from all these emotions, the tiredness, the overwhelming happiness of having his family with him after all this time where he forced himself to be strong, to deal with everything alone, to—

“A-Ling.” Jin Ling feels a hand on his shoulder, strong and careful and loving.

“Jiujiu,” Jin Ling sniffs, suddenly so exhausted he feels his legs giving out. He is quickly supported by his uncle and Wei Wuxian, “I do not want you to get married to Ouyang Zizhen’s sister.”

“What?” he asks, helping Jin Ling to the chair and kneeling in front of him. He runs a hand through Jin Ling’s hair, touches his cheek softly. “What are you talking about?”

“You should marry for love.” He whispers, weakly, and then – nothing.

-

When Jin Ling was a child, he used to have nightmares about losing two faceless people, a woman he would call mother and a man he would call father. He’d wake up, shaking, heart beating fast, and immediately run to his uncle’s room.

He would also have dreams where his uncle died, but those never seemed so scary because once Jin Ling woke up, he knew it would never happen. His uncle would never leave him.

That certainty never wavered, not once, even when Jin Ling was in Lanling, even when his uncle got hurt fighting Su She, his uncle would never leave him.

But as soon as Jin Guangyao died, as soon as Jin Ling was pronounced Sect Leader, as soon as his uncle left to Lotus Pier, Jin Ling realized it was time he let his uncle go.

-

The faceless woman in his dream is different this time. She’s holding one end of a rope while the other end is tied around Jin Ling’s neck and when he tries to run, she holds him back, the knot so tight Jin Ling feels himself suffocating, unable to scream, to call for help.

From afar he sees his uncle burning, fire surrounding him as he shouts, one hand stretched out in front of him, reaching out for Jin Ling while the woman drags him away from his uncle, farther and farther. And while his uncle burns, Jin Ling chokes.

-

He startles awake, gasping for air as his hands search for the rope around his neck, a rope that isn’t there anymore.

“A-Ling.” His uncle calls. When Jin Ling looks at his worried face, he collapses against his chest, relieved. “Breathe,” he whispers, pulling Jin Ling closer to him, one hand on the back of his neck, comforting, “I am here.”

“Jiujiu,” Jin Ling sobs, holding his uncle’s robes tightly. He should not be acting like this anymore, he should not behave as a child, he is not – he is a Sect Leader now, he needs to be strong. Ashamed, he sobs harder, hides his face in his uncle’s chest, “I am sorry, I should not –”

“Stop.” His uncle orders. “I should be the one apologizing. You were not ready for –”

“You were a year older than me when you became a Sect Leader!” Jin Ling protests. All the things his uncle did when he was younger, the war, the people he lost.

“I was not ready either.” His uncles confesses. Jin Ling pulls back, surprised. “I had no other choice, A-Ling, but you – you have me and your friends and – Wei Wuxian, I suppose,” he adds, rolling his eyes, and Jin Ling, despite himself, smiles.

He notices Wei Wuxian by the door, arms crossed in front of himself, eyes shining with tears, Jin Ling imagines, of regret for years lost, bonds broken.

“I will try to visit more often.” Jin Ling’s uncle promises. “And if you do not write back,” he threatens, “I will drag you back to Lotus Pier and feed you to the water spirits.”

Jin Ling blinks. “I am a Sect Leader.”

“I don’t care. Learn when to ask for help, brat, and answer to your uncle’s letters.”

“My, my, A-Ling,” Wei Wuxian says for the first time, eyes still wet, smile brighter than before, “it seems your uncle was lonely.”

“Wei Wuxian.” Jin Ling’s uncle growls, reaching out for a pillow and throwing at Wei Wuxian’s beaming face. The other man ducks away easily, cackling.

This is how his uncle’s life must have been before. He was not ready to become a Sect Leader then, but most of all, he was not ready to lose his entire family.

“Jiujiu,” Jin Ling takes his hand, “do you wish to get married?”

His uncle furrows his brows, confused. “This again?” He glances at Wei Wuxian, then back at Jin Ling. He sighs. “Maybe one day.” He says. “But that is not important right now.”

“It is important!” Jin Ling argues. “I want you to be happy!”

“Marrying one of the Ouyang girls won’t make him happy.” Wei Wuxian says, pulling a chair to sit on the other side of Jin Ling’s bed.

“You are married to Hanguang-jun!” Jin Ling points out.

“Because I love him.” He answers and Jin Ling is relieved he doesn’t go on a rant about Hanguang-jun’s eyes or something, it has happened before. It was disgusting. “Jiang Cheng should marry someone for love.”

They both turn to look at his uncle and Jin Ling’s eyes widen when he sees him blush. Does that mean–

“Enough with this.” Jin Ling’s uncle says, forcing him to lie back, fluffing the pillows around him. “I will deal with the letters.”

Jin Ling sighs, relived, as his eyes start to drop shut. “Do not start a war.” Both his uncles snort.

“I promise.” He whispers and Jin Ling falls asleep surrounded by his family.

[yuziyuanapologist]

all my rage

the chengsu (jiang cheng/qin su) agenda - 1.7k - canon divergence from episode 40.

mild content warnings for canon typical discussion of qin su’s parentage + jin rusong’s death. (sometimes im a jgy apologist but not in this fic.)

[AO3 link!]

It’s late into the evening of the banquet when Qin Su appears at the door to Jiang Cheng's guest rooms, tears streaming down her face, her sobs interrupting the breaths she takes, and her hand half raised from when she had knocked. 

"Jin-furen," he greets, brow furrowed with concern - her proper title not a common thing from his lips, and from the way she flinches at it, it's an address that he now regrets. "Qin Su, what's - what's wrong?" 

She opens her mouth to reply, but it's drowned out by renewed tears, a hand to her chest as she gasps, other hand against the door frame to steady herself. 

He falters for a second, unsure - but it's all he can do, to stand aside, and allow her entry into his rooms. He shuts the door behind her; it’s perhaps improper, but it's not something that he cares about at this moment. 

“Qin Su -” he moves forward, a hand to her shoulder. “Would you - would you like to sit?” He gestures to the table, and tries to encourage her forward without pushing. He’s still - still - not good at comforting, but she needs it, so he grits his teeth and walks with her across the room.

She gives a shaky exhale as she sinks to a kneeling position. Her shoulders still tremble as she rests her forearms on the table, hands folded together, as if playing at composure. Jiang Cheng sits beside her, watching closely, carefully, desperate to give her anything that she needs, however ill-equipped he is for it.

"Jiang-Zongzhu," she whispers, her eyes shut tight, tears still escaping. "Jiang Cheng, I-" She shakes her head, once, again, again. "I can't - it's shameful, I -" 

She sobs once more, and never has Jiang Cheng felt helplessness like this - or not - not now. 

He puts a gentle (is it gentle? He hopes so. He lost that touch a while ago, if he ever had it) hand on her forearm, and his thumb soothes circles through her thin sleeves, a trick he learnt from - from - whatever. 

"Qin Su, what can I do?" 

"Nothing - oh, nothing! There is nothing that can be done, except to -" She lets out a frustrated sound akin to a growl, a scream, a cry. And, at the tail of the sound, as it quiets to a breath, she speaks. 

"I received a letter," she says. Another quivering breath, and she continues. "A letter which revealed the truth of my parentage."

Jiang Cheng stops his words before they can escape; he does not need to interrupt. If left the space to continue, she will - he knows this. He knows her. 

"He-" it's spat out, a strangled sound. Furious, and Jiang Cheng understands that feeling better than anyone. "I am a child of assault," she spits. 

"I'm sor-" Isn't that what he's supposed to say? But she cuts him off. 

"I am a child," she continues, teeth gritted. "Of Jin Guangshan." 

Of - of - what? 

"And he knew!" it's more of a wail, now. "A-Yao knew, since before the wedding. But he thought it better to keep quiet, because it was - after A-S-" She doesn’t seem able to say the name - understandable. Sometimes Jiang Cheng struggles with the same thing. With others, too.

He still has his hand in her arm, but now she takes it in one hand, then both, gripping it tight enough to hurt, tight enough for him to feel the ring of Zidian making imprints in her soft skin.

They had both loved A-Song. A friend for A-Ling, and a sweet boy, with his dimpled smile and eyes filled with wonder. He had been so joyful, listening intently to every word his mother cooed to him in the cradle, and he had laughed with delight when Jiang Cheng lifted him high into the air, something that A-Ling had been too big for by then. 

It had always been strange how distant Jin Guangyao had seemed to keep himself from his own son. Jiang Cheng had written it off as the panic of fatherhood, and understood it, having felt almost the same way when - but - but this is - 

"Jiang Cheng," Qin Su says, her words now deliberate and emotionless, as if it’s the only way she can force them out. "He killed my son." As soon as she has spoken, she gasps, and lets the despair take her again.

"He - how-" Words fail him. Anger is familiar, yes, but with his hands held so tightly in hers, his concentration is on Zidian, on not letting it spark out the rage it knows he feels. 

"He set it up!" she cries. "He set it up so that - in case A-Song was -" 

Her voice tails off, and her tears come silent now, mouth open in grief that she can't express - grief that she has never been able to express. 

He's not very well going to be any help with that. Instead, he lifts his other hand, covering hers and his with it, and channels his anger to his voice.

"I'll kill him." 

He's not saying it as he once did, half in jest, more frustration than rage - no, this is cold, hard, the steel edge of his lightning anger. He knows he can say nothing to ease her pain, and he knows that she doesn't want to hear anything else. This, though, this he can say. 

"Or I will," she forces out, voice cracked and broken and yet fierce. 

His right hand is numb from her grip, but in some soothing way it helps. The absence of feeling there is a distraction, a grounding force, because if he could stand and leave, he'd do it, he'd go straight to the Fragrance Hall and he'd - 

There's a knock at the door. A familiar, soft, fucking patronising tap, and a horribly familiar voice calling through. 

"Jiang-Zongzhu," It's oozing politeness, dripping saccharine syrup and burning into Jiang Cheng's ears. "Do you know where A-Su is?" 

Qin Su's grip on his hands tightens yet more for a second, and then, with a sharp inhale - loosens. She extracts her hands from his grip, forcing herself into a cool and measured manner, and pushes herself to stand, wiping her sleeves beneath her eyes. All of this before Jiang Cheng has even been able to speak. Without Qin Su's hands on his own, they've curled into fists that he can barely relax. 

"Why would I?" he calls in response to Jin Guangyao, attempting the offhand gruffness that he's perfected these years, but it falls short. 

Qin Su shakes her head, and takes a step towards the door, wobbling only a little. Inside her sleeves, her hands, too, are curled into fists. 

In this moment, he's somewhat afraid of her. And then - all at once - his mouth is curling into a prideful smirk at her power, anticipation for what will come, and he stands, following behind her to the door. 

"Give me a minute," he calls roughly to Jin Guangyao. Make him wait. 

Just before Qin Su can put a hand on the door to open it, he takes her arm with his left hand. "Trust me," he murmurs at her look of alarm, and lifts his right hand to hers, fingers curling round her wrist. 

He's never done this before, but he shuts his eyes, and whispers to the lightning anger. 

Slowly at first, then with a smooth speed, Zidian slithers across to her wrist, making itself at home against her delicate skin, the ring winding itself around her middle finger, and sealing itself. It looks as though it belongs there - Jiang Cheng almost can't bear to let go, not least for the strange calm he feels without the static flickering on the edges of his consciousness. 

She gives him a sort of smile, a tear left unshed at the corner of her eye, marring the perfect picture of callous anger. He nods once, swallows, and lifts a thumb to brush away the tear. 

She slides the door open, and Jin Guangyao is there, all smiles, all relief to see her. All that and sticky sweet falsehood, and at the edge of it, a calculating glint in his eye. 

"A-Su," he says, "I've-" 

Jiang Cheng hears the crackling before he does, sees the flash of purple before Jin Guangyao has a chance to react. 

He's felt Zidian's sting himself only once before, and it was only the laughable mistake of letting a young Jin Ling play with the weapon, a mild hit compared to some. 

This - this is full force and heavy, throwing Jin Guangyao back across the courtyard, into the decorative pond in front of the opposite building. This is what he deserves. 

"A-Su-" he struggles to stand. 

She whips him again, and this time he stays down, blood dribbling from his mouth as he looks at her with wide, frightened eyes. 

She's beautiful like this. Fearsome, proud, her slight stature almost unnoticeable with the amount of rage that she holds inside. Jiang Cheng could watch for - forever. 

Jin Guangyao croaks from the pond he’s slumped in. "Please, A-Su, let me -" 

Once more, and he's unconscious. 

The commotion is stirring people from the surrounding buildings now, running footsteps and voices audible, and though Qin Su’s face is etched with a cool, triumphant smile, Jiang Cheng knows to act. 

"Qin Su," he urges. "Quick. Give me Zidian back, say it was me." 

Her eyes flicker with defiance, but she climbs down from it, her breathing quickening. "I -" 

He takes her hand in his before she can argue, and summons Zidian back. 

"Jiang Cheng-" The beginnings of panic are showing in her eyes as she glances to where the sounds of crowds are coming from - but at least the satisfaction shows no signs of giving way to regret. 

"We'll work it out," he says, and then swallows all his past down to continue. "Come back to Lotus Pier with me. You'll be safe there." 

She meets his gaze, and he hopes it holds all the truth that's in his heart, all his intentions. 

Letting go of her wrist, he lets Zidian crackle once, twice, between his fingers, and searches her eyes for the answer. 

A moment later, she gives it, a gentling of her eyes, a sadness to her smile, and she nods. Whispers "thank you," and lifts her hand to press a brief touch of palm to cheek. 

He nods, trying not to let his breathing stutter, and turns back towards Jin Guangyao’s unconscious form, moving to stand in front of her as the crowds rush into the courtyard. 

Behind his back, he moves his left hand. A second later, she takes it.