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historicallyaccuratecheese · 4 months

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Well, I guess I’m continuing to make these now! Here’s the next part of my thoughts on every Magnus Archives episode! Now, last time I said that I was planning to write about episodes 21-40 in the next post, but as it turns out, the hyperfixation has set in and my thoughts are a LOT longer (so buckle up if you want to read this), and I also reached the tag limit. So, I’m only going to be covering episodes 21-30 here, and then I’ll write about episodes 31-40, and this 10 episode trend will probably continue for the rest of the posts, but that just means I’ll be able to put them out faster.

Also, unlike my first post, where I wrote all of my thoughts after finishing episode 20, all of these ones were written right after I finished the specific episode I talked about, so my thoughts are a lot more clearly documented. Finally, there’s a link to my masterpost, which will contain all the post’s detailing my thoughts on every episode before and after these ones.

Once again, no spoilers for future episodes please, and for anyone who hasn’t watched up to episode 30, spoilers are under the cut, so I recommend turning away until you’ve caught up. :)

- Episode 21, Freefall 🪂

Statement of Moira Kelly, regarding the disappearance of her son Robert.

WHAT THE FUCK??!! MARTIN??!! DAMN, I guess the horrors did get to him! Well, it’s nice to finally meet him, even if his first line was dropping shit on the ground. Either way, I get the vibe I’m in for a wild ride for this second half. ….What was I talking about? Oh yeah, the actual statement. Anyways this one upset me. Not only did it bring out my fear of heights pretty well, but the portrayal of a grieving mother who can’t comprehend what happened to her son was really heartbreaking. The line “The sky ate him” was kind of comedic at first, especially with Jon’s following reaction (love this guy btw, he’s such a loser), but then it became really horrific when I realized how it was just Moira desperately trying to make sense of the impossible horrors she just witnessed. The plot thread set up with Simon and Harriet Fairchild is also very interesting, and the whole sky thing kind of reminded me of Dominic’s visions in Ep. 4. Overall another one of many fantastic episodes, but HOLY SHIT I’M SCARED.

- Episode 22, Colony 🔦

Statement of Martin Blackwood, archival assistant at the Magnus Institute, London, regarding a close encounter with something he believes to have once been Jane Prentiss. Statement taken direct from subject.

….aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Ok let’s start from the top. Firstly, I’m really happy we finally got to meet Martin in this episode, and he’s great! Honestly he comes off as more dorky than stupid, and just comes off as a real sweetheart, so Jon’s distaste for him (outside of very different personalities), gets more mysterious. Though all things considered, after what he experienced, I don’t think that the bullying is his biggest worry anymore… Alexander J. Newall does a fantastic delivery, as much as I love Jon’s readings, you can really feel how terrified Martin is here (also “Blackwood” is a sick as fuck last name, and I related to him trailing off about spiders…) Outside of Martin himself, we have Jane Prentiss (or what remains of her) and…well, let’s just say that I don’t find the sex worms nearly as funny anymore. Jane and the worms inside her are absolutely terrifying, and while I would say I’m excited to learn more about her, I wouldn’t be complaining if the institute staff never had to deal with her again. Also the text episode made me, if you’ll excuse my language…squirm. Honestly, this might just be my favorite episode so far. The way that the plot threads from previous episodes connected here was extremely satisfying, and needless to say, I’m very excited and horrified to see where the show goes from here.

- Episode 23, Schwartzwald 🇩🇪

Statement of Albrecht von Closen, regarding a discovered tomb near his estate in the Black Forest.

Worst episode ever because Jon didn’t do a German accent, smh. Ok but in all seriousness, I really liked this one! It wasn’t the strongest in terms of complex themes in my opinion, but it had a great vibe, and was still very interesting, entertaining, and decently creepy. Having a “statement” written before the archives was founded is a really cool idea that’s executed perfectly here, and while we didn’t learn that much about Jonah Magnus, I still found it cool to get a first glimpse of the archives’ history. (Also, given the eye imagery that appears both in here and in other episodes, I can’t help but feel like Albrecht’s wording of Jonah having “good eyes” or something like that is a little weird…) And…now that we have the instance of something that isn’t a statement, but is important being in the archives, I absolutely agree with the idea that Gertrude Robinson organized these poorly on purpose, so that Jon would get the knowledge he needed to have. Regardless, this whole episode had the vibes of a classic ghost story, which while not as weird and off-putting as some of the other horror here, was still a nice change of pace overall. The descriptions of The Schwartzwald were really well done and added to the atmosphere, and I just like the fact that we have another historical episode, that’s also set outside of The UK. Also, the way that they played with the time period at the end was amazing, I already had my suspicions due to the eye imagery, but the reveal of Mary Keay (and therefore Gerard Wa- I mean Keay) being a descendant of Albrecht was still really cool. I also do wonder if the Arabic book was eventually found by Jurgen Leitner in the future…eh, food for thought. Lastly, I loved Martin jumping in out of nowhere, it was both funny, and a grim reminder about how fucked the archives supposedly are, yippee!

Wow, these are a lot longer than my previous thoughts. This, my sweet children, is a phenomenon called “brain rot”.

- Episode 24, Strange Music 🪆

Statement of Leanne Denikin, regarding an antique calliope organ she possessed briefly in August 2004.

Jon, honey, are we not going to elaborate on the fact that one of ✨the horrors✨is literally inside the institute? Like, HELLO? That’s not terrifying at all! Anwyays, this episode continues the trend of making me scared of things I’m not initially scared of, yippee! It had great vibes as well, the weird shit in the attic was made to be as creepy as possible. Initially, I didn’t find this one to be too scary, and figured it was going to go in the direction of “music makes people feel kind of weird”. AND THEN JOSHUA GETS KILLED AND TURNED INTO A DOLL HELLO??!!! Like, I know he was kind of a toxic boyfriend, but DAMN, whatever was behind the calliope and the dolls did NOT have to go that far. (Also until the end I thought he might be Joshua Gillepsie, and like, I don’t care how toxic he is, but you do not dump a guy who bested an evil coffin with his freezer.) Outside of that, It was really cool to meet Sasha! I like her voice, and the introduction was quite funny. (Also, even as someone who has lived in England for over two years, and has a family that is 90% British, nothing hurt more that Jon’s “Americans”.) Lastly, I have a theory, which I like to call “Ringmaster? More like cult leader.” Because I’M SORRY, but you cannot convince me that a CIRCUS, called THE CIRCUS OF THE OTHER, which possessed a HAUNTED CALLIOPE ORGAN, is anything but a cult. (Watch me when I’m inevitably wrong lmao.)

I guess now is a better time than any to say that I’m kind of wondering if there’s an in-universe reason for the music in the background? I mean, considering that the whole framing device is Jon recording these statements, I have to wonder if there’s a reason for the noise we hear, especially with the worms in Ep. 22 and the music in Ep. 24.

- Episode 25, Growing Dark ⛪️

Statement of Mark Bilham, regarding events culminating in his visit to Hither Green Chapel.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I LOVE BEING RIGHT!!! I saw the episode title and immediately assumed this would continue the lore of Episode 9, and I WAS SO RIGHT!!! (Also, I now just noticed that the PCOTDH’s symbol is a closed eye, while The Keay Family’s symbol is an open eye…my cult theory thickens…) Anyways, this was another very enjoyable episode! Firstly, even though it’s far from the first piece of media to do so, I though the way they portrayed a cult brainwashing someone when they’re most vulnerable was very well handled and pretty depressing. I also really enjoyed how the episode isn’t the most weird and paranormal on it’s own, but the knowledge of the connections to Ep. 9 makes us know that it DEFINITELY is, even when the characters in the story don’t. The episode was certainly very spooky, the description of the spinach and the dark church definitely got me. (Also my mom came into my room briefly and when she left she accidentally turned off the light and I nearly screamed.) There were also some really interesting plot threads set up here, like the chanting of the northern most human settlement in the world, the mention of “three hundred years waiting”, and I also wonder if “Mr. Pitch” is an alias for “Detective Rayner.” then…the ending. Holy shit. You know, maybe I DON’T need to know what happened to Gertrude….

Episode 26, A Distortion ☕️

Statement of Sasha James, assistant archivist at the Magnus Institute, London, regarding a series of paranormal sightings. Statement taken direct from subject.

I…what…I don’t even…we are so fucked. Ok, there’s a LOT going on here, but I’ll try my best to formulate my thoughts as clearly as possible. Firstly, this episode easily scared me the most so far, I agree with Jon when he says that the horrors being somewhat friendly is scarier than them being antagonistic, like HOLY SHIT this one was unnerving. But with that out of the way…uh…let’s talk about Sasha! She’s really cool, I like how her character gives us a lot more insight into what working in the archives is like for a fairly regular person (i say this because Jon is weird as fuck and Martin is too nice to be normal, and I mean that as kindly as possible). But…while I don’t necessarily doubt her status as the most level-headed person in the archives, I don’t think that’s saying much. Like, she saw a creepy guy with weird-ass hands who spoke in riddles and knew too much about her and her coworkers, and followed him into a dilapidated building, also she works at the council of ghost stories despite not liking horror. Like, no offense, I’m sure she’s overall an intelligent person, as are most people in the archives, but none of them are beating Joshua Gillepsie anytime soon (yes I’m still thinking about him.) But mentioning the guy with fucked up hands, WHO OR WHAT EVEN WAS THAT??!! I have very little ideas as to how this “Micheal” even connects to the greater picture. I know some people connected him to the mentions of the man with bones in his hands in Episode 8, but that honestly reminds me more of the Leitner in Episode 17. Outside of that, his name is quite interesting, I initially thought that he might be Micheal Crew, but given that Sasha doubts it being his real name, I have my suspicions (although it would give us a connection between this, the words in Episode 8, and The Boneturner’s Tale….hm….) However, I could absolutely see him being Micheal Keay, as he gives off enough ghost vibes to pass as him (and I’m assuming that if Gerard’s dead, Micheal is as well.) Also he is not described as having a Lichtenburg figure on him so…yeah. Lastly, we have the return of THE SEX WORMS. And as happy(?) as I am to see that The Magnus Archives, a podcast developed by RustyQuill.com, that is also licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License, is continuing it’s message of staying abstinent, all things considered, that was absolutely terrifying. I just LOVE the knowledge that the worms are a hive-mind and that Jane might not be the source, I LOVE THAT SO MUCH. In conclusion, I am probably going to sleep with a fire extinguisher tonight, and I am very scared for what the next 14 episodes have in store for me.

Also I guess I’ll mention Tim (the archival assistant, not the dead guy) here because why not. So far I’m getting major bastard energy from people’s descriptions of him, which means I will either love or hate him. Also I found it very funny but also kind of sad that Jon said he only trusts Tim to not prank him in Episode 11, and then he pulled a prank shortly before this statement took place.

- Episode 27, A Sturdy Lock 🔑

Statement of Paul McKenzie, regarding repeated nocturnal intrusions into his home.

Ok, after everything that happened in the last episode, it was nice to get a short and sweet one here. Well, as sweet as an episode of a horror podcast can be. Overall, this one isn’t my favorite, I thought it was a little bit under the standards of creativity for the show as a whole, but that’s obviously not saying much, as it was still pretty damn good in its own right. I think it was definitely very effective with its storytelling, and credit where credit is due, it certainly brought out my fear of weird noises in the middle of the night. And even if I can’t personally resonate with this aspect of it, I do really appreciate how it tackled the idea of mental illness at old age, and while I’d be surprised if the statement wasn’t real, considering where the show seems to be going, it did a very good job at planting seeds of doubt in my mind. But still, it was genuinely pretty crushing how Paul had no proof throughout the entire thing, along with how the cops treated him. It really did make me thing about what would have happened if he hadn’t washed the blood off his hands. It still had a creepy atmosphere, and the reveals at the end were pretty interesting, I hope they show us Marcus’ statement soon enough. Also, the aspect of loneliness in this one did remind me a lot of what happened in Episode 13, so I wonder if there’s some connection there. (Also, I love how I’m 27 episodes in and Jon is STILL roasting Gertrude’s organizational skills.) So while this one isn’t the most interesting for me, I still enjoyed it, and it was nice to have a slightly lighter one after Episode 26. I hope Sasha had a good few days off, she deserves it.

- Episode 28, Skintight 📷

Statement of Melanie King, regarding events at the abandoned Cambridge Military Hospital during filming in January 2015. Statement taken direct from subject.

WHOA THAT WAS SO GOOD!!! Ok, I feel like I should start off with my thoughts on the basic premise, as while those episode is certainly…not the most humorous in its execution, the premise itself kind of is. I don’t know why, but I just thought the idea of there being an in-universe competitor was a really fun concept that was executed perfectly here. It kind of reminds me of something like Hatchetfield and Clivesdale (I don’t know how many people reading this will understand that, but there seems to be overlap between TMA fans and Hatchetfield fans, and also like, shut up, let me indulge in my hyperfixations.) The bickering between Melanie and Jon was great, as was Melanie herself, I’d love to see her again as I think she oddly brought a lot to the world of the series. Although I will say that, while it doesn’t make me like him any less, Jon’s reluctance to buy into statements is a lot more frustrating when there’s another person in the room. I also absolutely love the fact that there’s an in-universe spooky podcast mentioned by name, like, come one, that’s genuinely hilarious. But comedic value aside, this one was definitely pretty creepy. In a similar vain to what Episode 23 was doing, the whole “young people enter creepy abandoned building to film stuff and then get genuinely scared” concept felt evocative of other classic horror stories, and the way they spun it into the context of the show was great. The atmosphere was definitely very creepy as well, as I have mentioned, hospitals creep me the fuck out. And lastly…oh my god, THE CONNECTIONS. So, I’ll start off by saying that all of the skin shit reminded me of what happened in Episode 18 (which I hope is true because I think some connections to other things would make me like that episode more). But that pales in comparison to the fact that we have stuff on THE ANGLERFISH, HOLY FUCK THE ANGLERFISH. I’m SO glad that they didn’t throw it away just because it was in the pilot episode. In retrospect, I think that the story of Episode 1 isn’t quite my favorite. It doesn’t really have to be, as I think the main draw of the episode is getting a first look at the framing device and general vibe of the entire podcast, but the stories didn’t really grab me until Episode 2, which is still one of my favorites. But MAN, this episode really made me appreciate the setup at the beginning so much more, and the knowledge that the people who walked into the alley didn’t necessarily die, meaning that all of those names could potentially come back, is SO exciting to me. In fact, when you consider that Sarah was kind of going through what looked like a possession, I wonder if The Anglerfish is a figure of worship in a cult, if that theory is to be true. (Also I have relatives that live in the same area as Sarah so…maybe I should tell them to watch out for their neighbor lmao.) So yeah, this…this show is just really freaking good.

Note: I have discovered the Leitner rant, and therefore I have achieved true enlightenment.

- Episode 29, Cheating Death ♟️

Statement of Nathaniel Thorp, regarding his own mortality.

I should start off by saying that I love the episode title for this, like, it’s not even metaphorical, the guy literally cheated in a game against death. Well, anyways, the main thing that caught me about the episode was how it absolutely blindsided me. While I was right about the soldier being the same as the statement giver, which I think was supposed to be obvious, everything else in those last six or so minutes left me with a wide-open jaw. (Also, can I just say that I love how poetic this guy just…decided to be? Like, I just love it when the statements really show of personalities with the way they’re written, and it comes with a cool framing device.) Regardless, I initially assumed that it was going in a very traditional line. Nathaniel cheats death, becomes immortal, and regrets it in modern day because he’s lived longer that he really should have. That, combined with the fact that “Death” didn’t seem like the one of the more creative horror monsters in the show so far, had me so prepared to just write this one off as one of my least favorites (once again, not like that’s saying much.) And then the twist comes and HOLY SHIT I WAS WRONG. The idea of there basically being multiple grim reapers at the hands of some unknowable power, who have to gain successors to finally die themselves is absolutely terrifying and extremely clever. I tip my hat to you Rusty Quill, you did a great job at fooling me. Kind of funny considering how this is a story about being punished for your hubris (which seems to be a recurring theme???) I have a few other small thoughts as well. Firstly, I can’t help but shake the feeling that Nathaniel Thorp was an actual revolutionary war soldier, but I can’t find anything online other than the character from this episode. Also, the fact that his fate remains unknown makes me think he’ll show up again, as it seems weird to NOT end the story with confirmation of his death, given the themes. Secondly, a lot of the…less than pleasant imagery here definitely reminded me of Piecemeal and The Boneturner’s Tale. I don’t remember the story inside that Leitner very well, but I might check just in case there’s any parallels between it and this statement. (Update: Not really.) And finally, I was just a little bit intrigued by the fact that we learn no one who was working at the institute in 1972 works there anymore. It’s probably nothing, but given the mysteries surrounding Gertrude’s death, I’m just a little suspicious, both in general, and of Elias because he’s still around. Overall this episode went hard, I’m still kind of stunned by what it pulled off.

Jane Prentiss statement…save me…save me Jane Prentiss statement…

- Episode 30, Killing Floor 🍖

Statement of David Laylow, regarding his time working at an industrial abattoir near Dalton.

You know what, Jon is right, there’s a lot of meat in this show. Not that I’m complaining, I mean, it does fuel my obsession with connecting the dots between statements. Regardless, while this isn’t among my favorite episodes so far, I still had a good time with it. The reason it’s not one of my favorites is purely personal, as I don’t do too well with animal violence. Like, as much as I do really appreciate how viscerally Jonny Sims can describe the statements, I will admit that the opening minutes describing the slaughter house made me more uneasy than the actual horror, and not in a particularly fun way, but it was overall fine. Speaking of the actual horror, that was actually pretty good. The endless hallways lined with doors that lead to precarious situations also kind of tapped into a personal fear of mine, but in a more fun and digestible way. And while the idea of “imagine humans being slaughtered like animals” is something I’ve seen many a time before, it was still much more well executed than many other interpretations of the idea (*cough cough*, peta) and there were also plenty of other interesting themes and ideas, like how the episode touched on the inherent horror of working in a job as gruesome as the killing floor, being enslaved to said job, and the idea that maybe we’re all just walking sacks of meat in the end, and nothing more. As for some other thoughts, I was definitely creeped out by Tom Han, I’m not sure whether or not he’s someone who spreads ✨the horrors✨or someone affected by ✨the horrors✨, and his sudden disappearance was certainly…odd. On top of that, it’s admittedly haunting to know that there’s still creepy stuff going on at the slaughter house, and that this isn’t something that happened to David, and only David. Overall, a pretty good episode, I don’t have much to say about it, but it was a fun time overall.

Tim…save me…save me Tim…

Well, if you’ve made it this far, thank you so much for reading! Genuinely means the world to me when there are people willing to listen to me ramble about my horrible (affectionate) interests lmao. I should have my thoughts on the final episodes of Season 1 out in due time, and while I’m sure it’s obvious, I’m absolutely hooked on this podcast. It absolutely has the potential to become one of my favorite things ever if the overarching plot becomes more involved and this is coming from someone who up until now, wasn’t all that gripped by podcasts. While I’m a little sad that I’m as late to the party as I am, then I remembered “oh yeah, I was in elementary school when this horrifying series came out”, and I’m also hopeful that I’ll be able to be around for The Magnus Protocol while it’s airing (I know it premieres in like a week but still.) Anyways, thanks for reading and hopefully you’ll be around for my thoughts on the next batch :)

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staysaneathome · 9 months

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Turnabout SamurEye

Martin Blackwood stares at the fallen head of the oversized cartoon samurai mascot, and asks himself yet again how he got here.

The simple answer to that question would be “on the 386 bus that has a stop five minutes’ walk away from Global Studios”, but that isn’t quite what he means.

For all that he is a defense attorney, Martin’s always fancied that he has a poetic soul, one that still can’t quite believe he managed to scrape his way through law school and a handful of cases to running his own, meager firm. Sasha always used to laugh and tease that it was a combination of his dramatics and insecurities talking, that Martin was an ace attorney in his own right.

There are some days when missing his best friend and mentor gets easier, but today isn’t one of them.

There is a gentle tug on his suit sleeve.

Robbie’s eyes are crinkled in a smile above their face mask. They sign, “Ready to go check out the scene of the crime, Martin?”

He nods back. “Yes, ah, let me just take a picture of this for our evidence, first.”

They settle back, still bouncing on their heels slightly as he finishes up.

It makes sense they’re excited, he supposes. It’s not everyday that someone gets to go on the set of their favorite TV show, even if the leading actress has just been accused of murdering her coworker.

He probably would’ve taken the case even if they hadn’t badgered him into it with protests of the Blazing Samurai’s innocence, he reflects as they start walking towards the set area. Work has been thin on the ground lately, and the fees for Mum’s care home and renting the office space certainly aren’t going down anytime soon.

“We should get steak after this.” Robbie signs.

Martin blinks, has to mime out the signs himself to ensure he’s interpreted them correctly.

“What? But we just had lunch on the bus! How can you still be hungry after that?”

Robbie raises their chin proudly. “I have a second stomach for steaks!”

Martin gives them a knowing look. “Right. And, er, that wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that you’ve just discovered that Lynn Hammond, The Blazing Samurai, also loves steak?”

Robbie’s eyes dart to the side guiltily as their fingers trip over the sign for “Noooo”.

“Ah,” Martin can’t quite control his grin at that as he pokes their shoulder. “Objection—the witness is withholding testimony!”

He snickers as they playfully shove his arm, hands a rapid flurry. “Don’t do that outside of court!”

There are wires and cameras everywhere when the two of them arrive on the set proper, large green screens and painted backgrounds propped up against the walls.

Robbie is practically vibrating with excitement next to him, likely torn between their desire to explore and their sense of duty as his self-imposed assistant.

They really remind him so much of Sasha, at times like this.

“Keep a lookout for anything that could be a clue,” He advises. They give him a mock salute.

There’s a large white outline near the base of the director’s chair, a discarded spear next to it. The murder weapon, presumably? It’s big and heavy, couldn’t be picked up by anyone who wasn’t trained for it, like Miss Hammond or even Jude Perry, the victim. That’s what it says in the autopsy report, but…

Martin frowns and kneels down next to it.

Surely, something like this, which is meant to have stabbed through Jude Perry’s torso, surely it ought to have more, well. Blood, on it? There’s a bit of dried bright red liquid on the very tip, but something’s…?

“Martin Blackwood.”

Martin freezes up. No. No, no, maybe, maybe he’s hallucinating things. Yes, that sounds plausible, surely he wouldn’t be here. He’s always been content sitting pretty in his office, while Detective Tonner brought him all the evidence to ruin Martin’s day, please don’t let him actually be—!

“Covering your ears and ignoring me doesn’t mean I stop existing, Blackwood.”

Well, worth a shot.

He takes a deep breath and turns to face the Demon of the Bar, trying desperately to turn his grimace into a polite smile. “Prosecutor Sims! How can I help you today?”

Jonathan Sims does not look happy.

He’s as crisp and ironed as ever, from his starched collar to his pressed cravat to the tips of his shiny, shiny shoes.

Martin feels small and shoddy just looking at him.

“I seriously doubt you could. I’d be better off banning you from the crime scene, so your bumbling around doesn’t destroy valuable evidence.” Sims scoffs. “That would be a welcome relief.”

Ouch. It takes everything Martin has not to wince.

“However,” Sims heaves a great sigh. “The law still states that the defense must have the same opportunity as the prosecution to examine evidence, so I can’t have you thrown off the premises. Yet.”

Yet??

“Yet?!” Robbie signs.

They’ve taken a step to place themself between him and the man who haunts his sleep every night. They are also trying to roll up the billowing sleeves of their apprentice uniform with their fists clenched.

Martin quickly places a hand on their arm and gives his kind-of-assistant-by-adoption a placating smile so they don’t do anything crazy like assault the prosecution.

“So I take it you’re representing the guilty party in this case?” Sims sneers.

“L-Lynne Hammond isn’t the one who killed Jude Perry!” Martin protests. “We’re still gathering evidence, but, but all the character witnesses thus far have shown that she wasn’t the kind of person who held any grudges against the victim!”

Robbie nods furiously next to him, signing “That’s right! The Blazing Samurai could never do that!”

Sims glances between them and Martin with an eyebrow raised.

“And you believe it’s suitable to bring a child along to a murder investigation?” He demands imperiously, one finger pointing at Robbie. “Really, Blackwood, I knew you were irresponsible, but this takes the cake.”

Robbie puffs up indignantly, hands moving almost too quickly to parse as they sign, “I’m not a kid! I’m thirteen years old!”

“Wh-?!” Martin splutters, “That’s not the—! And you, Sims, you were trying to find them guilty of murdering Sasha last month!”

“That—!” Sims sniffs, trying to regain his composure. “That’s different.”

“How?!” Martin cries, trying not to tear his hair out. “They would’ve got the death penalty! The only reason they didn’t is because I found out the real murderer and she decided it’d be funny to frame me as well! If we hadn’t gotten that list of names—”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you about that, actually.” Sims cuts in, glare hard. “How did you find that list of Nikola Orsinov’s blackmail victims?”

Martin freezes.

“I. Um?”

Prosecutor Sims tilts his head, pinning Martin in place under that stare which thousands of witness have sworn somehow makes them say things they’d never tell another soul.

“Well?”

It’s not like he can just say ‘oh the tween tagging along with me is a spirit medium and channeled the ghost of my dead mentor who’s also their older sister so she could tell me and force Orsinov to confess! Oh and your hair looks really good like that and I’d maybe like to gaze into your eyes constantly and I’ve been in love with you since we were both five so do you wanna go out sometime?’

No. No, no, bad Martin, bad! Just because he’s got a nice face does not make him boyfriend material. Jonathan Sims is a dick, no matter what he was like when you were in primary school together. 17 years of radio silence to you and Gerry have sent that message.

Besides, you learned this lesson with Michael. He was pretty, and funny, and seemed like the perfect boyfriend, and what did he do? He framed you for murder. Yeesh. Why is that becoming a pattern in his life. Better for everyone to not—

There’s a gentle tap on his arm.

He looks down to see Robbie staring up at him, signing “Martin?”

Wait. Hold on. Oh god. How long has he just been staring into Jon’s eyes for?! Sim’s eyes?! Shit?!

The prosecutor is giving him an odd look, his glare morphed slightly to…something else? “Well?” He snaps.

“I…uh…um. Well. You know how, er, Robbie, Sasha is their, was their older sister?” He darts an apologetic glance to them. They hunch into his side slightly.

“I know the relation between the acquitted defendant and the late Ms. James, yes.” Sims drawls, “What of it?”

“W-well,” Martin bluffs. “Sasha and Robbie had a separate hiding spot here in the city, when, when Robbie had come to visit her before. She, she’d left a copy of that list here, a while ago, so Orsinov and Sarah Baldwin didn’t know about it. Robbie mentioned the place off-hand before the last day so I…checked…”

Jon’s glare has deepened to its former disdain.

“Forget it.” He sneers. “If you’ll do nothing but lie, I don’t know why I bother. Still, if you’re going to be that obvious, it’ll be easy to prove the accused’s guilt in court tomorrow. Good afternoon, Martin Blackwood.”

Prosecutor Sims turns on his heel and marches away.

Martin watches him go and tries to ignore the twinge in his chest.

There’s another small tug on his suit sleeve.

He looks down to see Robbie staring up at him with gratitude. They slip one hand into his and give it a squeeze, one hand touching their chin as if blowing a kiss. “Thank you.”

He squeezes back, a tired smile on his face. “Oh, it’s no. No trouble, really. I’m not about to tell anyone about you-know-what just, just willy-nilly.”

Robbie puffs out their chest, hands coming up to sign, “Let’s go prove that mean prosecutor wrong! He’s nothing but a phony anyway, you’ll show him!”

Martin huffs a small laugh at their enthusiasm.

Wait.

Something clicks in his head. He turns back to examine the spear.

Blood is this color when it comes out of a body, yes. But for it to stay this way when dried, and there to be no stains around the white outline of the corpse…

“It’s phony.” He mutters, excitement raising his volume gradually. “It’s—this crime scene, it’s not real, it’s, it’s fake! The blood on the spear, it’s not the right color, and, and there are no other bloodstains or anything, so that means that when Jude Perry died, it wasn’t on set! It had to be somewhere else, and the body was moved here later!”

Robbie matches his excitement when he grins at them, fingers drumming against their neck rapidly.

“C’mon,” Martin says, feeling the thrill of unraveling a contradiction, of getting closer to the truth. “Let’s go see if we can’t work out where the real murder happened.”

8 notes · View notes