#just because they were trying to cover up their own crimes and sonic was a convenient person to pin it on you are gong to quit your job.

[sonknuxadow]

hoping tom and wade quit the police force after learning about project shadow

yeahhh me too. im honestly kinda worried about how theyll handle the stuff with cops in the third movie if it does turn out to have a similar plot to sa2 since sa2 probably has the most anti military and anti cop story of the whole series. the movies already have the anti military part down but also one of the main protagonists whos a really important person in sonics life and is supposed to be a good guy is a cop. so hopefully you can understand why im a bit concerned about how certain themes in sa2s story will be handled. again assuming that sa2 is even going to be the main inspiration for the next movie we still dont know for sure

in the first movie toms arc was realizing he doesnt need to be a big city cop to help people so im hoping they will complete that with him realizing he doesnt wanna be a cop at all after seeing how awful they really are and not wanting to be a part of that

[cherriesonaversatile]

The Kills' new stuff?

I've been a fan of the Kills since Blood Pressures was released (eons ago, really). My partner got into them when Midnight Boom was around. I was really obsessed with them and now I pick them up with massive nostalgia because well, the sound and factually the aura, feel, the whole will they/did they/etc shenanigans really tied the whole image together, even if they dropped it. But watching documentaries like I Hate The Way You Love, french documentaries, long interviews, old recorded gigs and trying to figure out things even if it's their own lives, they had their own mystique around them.

They were very cool. It wasn't that they gave more interviews then, it was that they knew what to say, they knew what not to say, it was natural for them. Now it feels like a forced recipe in the music, which is really sad. I knew Jamie had talked about straying from guitars quite a while now, but it's sad to properly witness it in the tracks we've seen.

I'm happy that Alison is more comfortable and found love with Damian Lewis, I'm sure everyone is very very happy for her and bless that! Seriously, I grin from ear to ear. They look very sweet with one another.

I don't think that strained The Kills though, but Jamie had always been behind steering the wheel behind the scenes, so it really feels like he's lost interest in making guitar music. I know obviously they've grown, but as corny as it is we need to address that this feels like a "Little Room" situation, which most know is a The White Stripes song (c'mon, we're the same fandom practically). Jamie talked about it in length of how brilliant it was and how relatable it was. The Kills played in a closet space while they were getting on track before Keep on your Mean Side and starting the band. And now obviously they've gotten far more creative space and recognition, but it feels like they're doing it to do it.

I'm probably bias as hell, but I love the whole raw energy and strict bare sound that they had in the beginning, as well as Jamie's former projects like Scarfo and Fiji, which really focused on talking about poverty, being low on the ladder, crime and unattainable things. Now all of that is achieved and they did sort of feel like they missed the old days (hence the massive rehashes of polaroids from their first US tour and releasing Dream & Drive). It was fascinating to dig into their musical influences, hear Jamie read Kerouac, how they bonded over Andy Warhol and Edie Sedgewick, Jamie showing Alison The Velvet Underground and PJ Harvey, talking about Sonic Youth.

I don't get the same vibe from Rihanna fan talk and the current music they enjoy. I'm not saying your influences have to be very seen in your music, but here it feels very bland, imo.

And regarding to the controversial album cover of "God Games" I saw it, I was a bit surprised that it was very very... meh and I was just even more underwhelmed since the songs are very very bland to me, so bland songs, bland album. I'm not entirely sure what they wanted to say with it, I know they stopped being vegans eons ago or stand up for animal rights, and not saying that only vegans care about animal rights! But it does feel like a quick note on "hey, this is our interpretation which is xyz" as a simple reply anywhere would make more sense than running to make some stupid drama of are they supporting bullfighting and what is this shit get the album some attention. Meh.

[wesimpforxiao]

Say My Name and I’ll Be There: Chapter 9.4

Xiao was sick to his stomach.  The idea that Childe turning out to be an ally to the group disgusted him--and don't get him started on the thought of Zhongli possibly falling for that act a second time.  It would be an understatement to say that he wanted nothing to do with that harbinger ever again.  But of course he just had to deal with him for awhile longer, and it was for your sake only.  

"You mean..."  Aether was still processing Zhongli's confession alongside the yaksha.  "You tricked us?  Again?"

"You're just as bad as Childe if you lie this much!"  Paimon huffed in obvious disappointment before poofing out of the conversation.

"Forgive me for not informing you sooner; I made a grave mistake for trusting him the first time, but I will not leave you in the dark for a second."  The former archon bowed his head in a deep apology after revealing what really happened in Fontaine all those weeks ago.

"And you knew of this, Xiao?"

"He informed me in a dream while I was still unconscious."

"I-I'm still wrapping my head around this," uttered the boy.  "And now Childe is making the same move again?  What're you going to do?"

"I think it's time to make our final move."  The archon eyed the couple of Fatui agents walking past their table, careful to keep his voice lower than usual.

"As much as I want to, you can't join us.  You'd be breaking your own contract.  Isn't that a problem?"  Zhongli didn't answer, so the traveler then turned to Xiao.  "What do you want to do?"

"I..."  The yaksha averted his eyes.  I want to rescue her, he thought.  I want to, but if she's not in contact with me, she won't be affected by my karma.  Zhongli noticed the sour expression on Xiao's face and piped up.

"We do not need to decide our move right at this moment.  A situation so dire cannot be approached lightly."

"She should stay where she is," Xiao muttered under his breath after Aether and Paimon ran off to do some commissions.

..............

"Are you just gonna stare at me or what?"  

You were sitting with your back against the far wall of an unfamiliar cell while your hands were carefully placed on your lap to avoid touching the scummy floors.  On the other side of the cell bars stood what was probably the shortest of the eleven harbingers.

Scaramouche didn't answer you, electing to deepen his scowl instead.  His glare fell to the vision at your hip like he was trying to understand why the Tsaritsa refused to give him the order to confiscate it.  Your gaze followed his until the faint glinting of the vision's glass was all you could focus on.

Why didn't she take it this time?

And that wasn't the only thing that was different about your second imprisonment.  Your cell was painted in what you assumed to be anti-adeptus sigils like Xiao's cell had been.  Maybe this was to prevent you from calling for Xiao; the threat of his capture seemed to weigh heavily on your shoulders, but something about this cell felt off and you couldn't put your finger on it.  Why take this precautionary measure if she knew you wouldn't call for the yaksha for his own safety?

That question was answered a little too-quickly for your liking.  One of Scaramouche's underlings brought in what looked like a toolkit, only to reveal a plethora of presumed torture objects inside.

"Is this really appropriate for you, my Lord?  We can take over from here; you don't need to participate in an activity that would insult y--"

The harbinger shot him a dangerous look.  "I don't remember asking for your input.  Get out."

"Y-yes, sir.  Excuse me!"  The guard doubled over in an apologetic bow before scrambling out of the prison as fast as he was able to.  Then Scaramouche's glare returned to you as he reached into the bag.

....................

I'm gonna kill them all.  I'm gonna kill them.  They'll all fall at my hands.

A blood trail tailed behind you as Fatui guards escorted your weakened body into the frigid throne room for the third time this week.  They threw you to the tile floor, while your vision clinked unhappily against the hard surface.  She still hadn't bothered to remove it; it was like she was taunting you with the illusion of power, and she shot you down every time you thought you'd take her by surprise.

I'm going to kill her, Xiao.

The coldness of the unwelcoming floor seemed to welcome you into your repeating nightmare while the hot blood that pooled in your mouth dripped onto the surface.  Unlike the other times you were dragged in here, Childe wasn't present.  It was a shame that the one who so badly wanted to be involved in the brawl was about to miss out.  The tapping of a fingernail against metal prompted you to push yourself up to your knees.

She'll fall at my hands.

"Bow before Her Majesty, the Tsaritsa."

You just coughed up more blood without obeying.  Twitching fingers were the remnants of Scaramouche's torture.

"The perseverance of humans truly is something to witness," the cryo archon muttered in distain.  She had run out of patience; you were nothing more than a nuisance if you refused to work with her any longer, and it was a miracle that she put up with you longer than she would with her own men.  "Very well.  You'll die here.  Any last words?"

"Y-You threatened them."

"If you wish to be heard, speak up."

"You threatened them," your voice raised loud enough for everyone to hear despite the fact that your throat was sore from the amount of screaming Scaramouche managed to get out of you.  A small groan left your lips as you forced yourself to your unsteady feet.  Blood coated your lips and chin, and soaked into your tattered shirt.  "You threatened my friends, you've threatened Xiao, and you're ultimately responsible for my Granny's death.  Your crimes against us and the people of Teyvat will never be forgiven.  What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Hm."  A hint of a wry smile was quickly overshadowed by hatred and disgust.  She had heard enough of your disrespect, and it was clear beating you into submission wasn't working.  

You caught the subtle twitch in her hand before she flicked her wrist and hurled an attack in your direction.  Defiant feet remained planted, and a counterattack almost as quick as the Tsaritsa's was thrown her way.  You didn't feel the blast of her magic reek havoc against your body, but  subconsciously heard the sound of shattering glass right before you initiated your counterattack.

The Tsaritsa waved off the guards that readied to restrain you while hiding the beginnings of fear from her face.  She'd kill you herself.  The temperature dropped lower and lower until the entire room froze over and your fingers began to go numb.  Of course, this wasn't because of your magic; you could drop the temperature below zero, but this was on a completely different scale.

"You've earned your friends' deaths as well!"  The archon raged and stood from her seat with the intent to kill you on the spot.  Shards upon shards whirled around her before shooting at your frail exhausted figure.  "Morax's yaksha will join you in death for your disobedience.  Thus is the punishment for disrespecting the will of your master!"  

"You will not harm anyone!"  

BOOM!  The palace walls shook violently as the force of a shockwave ran through them--with you at the epicenter.  A brilliant light shone from your eyes for a split second, though it made no difference in your tunnel vision of determination.  This time, you were the one to lower the temperature.  A growing layer of frost enveloped your skin in a warm embrace.  Your power was a mix of ice and stormy gales that tore through the throne room at a vicious speed, sending Fatui agents and harbingers alike running for cover as the palace became an unstable battlefield.

............

Two days before.

"What kind of a suicide mission is that?!"  Xiao growled out to the open night air with frustration, though he knew you couldn't hear nor feel his response.  "This recklessness will be the end of you!"  He took a deep breath to regain his composure and his gaze fell to his hands, which were enveloped in the fine black mist that was his accumulated karma.  He couldn't keep his thought process of protecting you from himself if you were practically asking to be killed by the cryo archon. He wouldn't let that happen no matter what risks his karma may bring.

Days of grueling torture unlike anything you've faced before haunted his ears.  He could tell that you never meant to pray to him these past several days, but somewhere in your delirious state of mind, clouded by pain, you called his name.  Not for him to come and rescue you, no.  That was a trick you weren't going to fall for and he wasn't rescuing you out of respect for your wishes.  

But hearing your cries, you sobs, was a torture method in and of itself to Xiao.

After the first three days your agony turned to resentment, then to rage.  You plotted.  You schemed.  You planned until you settled on what was probably the dumbest 'solution' to your problems.  And Xiao heard every word.

"FOOL!"  Overcome with frustration yet again, Xiao impaled the nearest tree with his polearm.  The winds whipped violently through its leaves until he let out another aggravated sigh.  He looked down to Liyue Harbor and the sunrise that began to chase away the shadows.  Yelling would result in nothing and it was immature of him to do so.  He would go to Zhongli, and summon Aether.  There was no time to waste.

............

What awaited them at Zapolyarny Palace was nothing short of stupefying.  They were met with a stampede of shaken guards that were so disorganized and distraught, they didn't even notice that intruders had broken into the palace.  The three of them exchanged knowing glances before Zhongli led the way to the throne room.  It was then that a powerful shockwave--loud enough to be a sonic boom-- nearly threw them into the wall behind them as the doors flew open.

"You will not harm anyone," muffled words reached the ears of the intruders.  "Not me, not Zhongli, not Aether, and certainly not Xiao!"

It took a moment for Xiao to process what he was looking at; the snowstorm that raged on was barely contained in the throne room, and white obscured the battle for the most part.  He didn't need a clear image of you to pick up on your words.

A new light appeared above you and this time you caught sight of it.  Six star-like objects lit up a similar color to Xiao's hair and connected to one another.  You paid no mind to it, as it disappeared as quickly as it came.  The storm grew violent, and much like your most recent confrontation with Childe, your power was harming yourself.  Icicles shredded your worn-out garments.  The wind turned so sharply that it bit into your skin.

"That shouldn't be possible," Zhongli's widened gaze lingered where those stars had appeared above your head.

"So you saw that too," Aether mumbled in bewilderment as he also stared at the same empty air.  I thought the people of Teyvat needed Stella Fortuna to unlock their constellations?  He snapped out of his daze quicker than Zhongli.  "Let's go, we need to help her!"

Xiao blocked their advance with his polearm.  "Wait."

"You think we should wait?"  Paimon hissed.  "She needs our help!"

The yaksha ignored their hesitance and kept his narrowed eyes on the blurry image of you in the distance.  Rely on me.  Call out my name.  If he was allowing himself to be vulnerable with you now, risking your safety from his karma, then it was your turn to do the same.  Call out my name, and I'll be there when you call.

"DIE!"  The Tsaritsa waved her hand through the air and summoned a glade of ice that was meant to slice you in two.

"I won't succumb so easily!"  A blast of wind erupted from your side, and it cut the ice in half before it could reach you.

Wind?  Anemo?  Zhongli sent a glance to Xiao's figure.  Could this be...

You pushed off the ground with the aid of the wind, and a flurry of snow hurled towards the Tsaritsa.  She shot shards through it, and they impaled the ceiling after clearing the fog.  You weren't there.

The archon spun around and was met with the devilish amber eyes of an adeptus and the cocky grin of her weapon of war.  This power--The wind kicked up the accumulated layers of snow from the floor and blocked her line of sight again.  A sharp pain sliced through the backs of her knees, and she crumpled to the ground.  The speed of your movements was unlike anything your friends have seen from you before.

You landed before her and relished the feeling of having a literal god kneeling at your feet.  Maybe you weren't so unlike Childe after all; if this sight made you feel that good, then one could understand the harbinger's obsession with battle.  The three friends behind you--who you had yet to notice--took note of the Childe-like expression on your face.  You summoned your iced polearm.  Or...tried to.  A quick glance to your hand confirmed it was still empty despite your attempts.  Instead, a cold breeze playfully weaved between your fingertips.  Huh?  Did I exhaust myself?  I feel fine...

"Ha...haha...Hahahaha!"  A wicked cackle sent chills down your spine, and you returned your attention to the god that was hunched before you.  "You may have picked up on my Childe's arrogance, but you wield it like a weakness."  You anticipated her next move from the growing of sheer cold, but with your current position, there was no way you'd be able to dodge it in time.  She swung her arm out to you.

The name fell from your lips without thinking.  "Xiao-!"  WHOOSH!  The blast of air knocked you onto your butt, and your vision cleared to view an unsettlingly-silent battlefield.  For several seconds, the cyclone calmed.

"Tch."  The sound of a struggle made you look up.  There was your yaksha, neck-at-neck with the cryo archon.  He held his polearm in a blocking position, and it rattled uncomfortably against the force of the ice sword that pushed against it.  The pair were staring daggers at one another.  

"Xiao!"

"Took you long enough.  Leave the killing to me.  Leave, now."

"There's no way I'm leaving you by yourself!"  You pushed yourself to your feet and ran towards them.

Xiao picked up on the sound of your footsteps, and glanced back at you for a split second.  "Get back!"  He could almost feel the grin that spread on the god's face as you got closer.  "Move!" Panicked, Xiao pushed back against the Tsaritsa before dashing through the air and pulling you with him just in time to avoid what would've been a devastating blow of the god's power.

The sharp movements made your stomach do a flip or two, but you didn't have time to puke.  The Tsaritsa levitated towards the two of you, who were now standing side-by-side with Xiao's hand placed lightly between your shoulder blades.  Your eyes met his, but you couldn't tell what he was thinking.  Instead, you nodded in encouragement just in case he wasn't on-board with you still being here with him.

The yaksha seemed to understand on some level, and nodded back before returning his eyes to the god above you.  "Now."

[fleetsonourgecentral]

Can I request number 6 from the prompt list if you’re still up for doing them! I love your interpretation of Scourge and Sonic it’s great!! Thanks so much! Also if you have any Scourge headcanons you’d like to share I’d love to hear them 👀👉👈 I love the trash boy with my whole heart! Hope you have a great day!!

I am holding your face in my hands in gratitude. I am always up for writing about these two. Always.

6- “…..I’m going to pretend I didn’t see that.”

It was amazing, really, how this dimension could be so similar to Scourge's and yet... not.

It was the little things that threw him. Saying wardrobe instead of closet. The first floor being the ground floor, and the second floor being the first floor. The inability (or unwillingness) to pronounce the letter "t" correctly when talking. The amount of tea he saw consumed in a single day. Fuck, there was so much tea. He was pretty sure these people drank more tea in a day than he'd drank alcohol in his entire life, which was saying a lot, and it actually scared him a little, not that he'd ever admit it.

The food, though. Somehow the food threw him the most.

Because seriously, what the actual fuck.

"What the fuck are you eating?"

Sonic raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him, takeout carton still balanced on his raised knee, because hell would freeze over before a Sonic sat properly.

"Food."

"I don't think that counts as food," Scourge said, eyeing the carton and strongly considering getting up from the couch and away from the demon spawn food next to him like it would jump up and bite him. For all he knew, it would. "It looks like a fucking biohazard."

Sonic rolled his eyes and gave a long, pained sigh. "It's just fish and chips."

"The hell it is! It looks like someone took a runny shit on your fries!"

"Chips," Sonic corrected absently. It was an argument they'd had almost every day, and one that would likely continue for the rest of their lives. "And it's just gravy."

Scourge squinted suspiciously at the carton. "That's not gravy. Gravy is this white... cream... whatever color. That looks like something scooped right out of a sewer."

"Fuck off. I've seen your gravy, it looks like something a sick cat puked up. You have no room to judge."

"Right. And the green pile of snot invading the carton?"

"Mushy peas."

Scourge stared blankly at the travesty in front of him. Sometimes he wondered if Sonic just did things like this to piss him off, but the last time he made that accusation, Amy and Tails swiftly proved him wrong. Fuck, people in this dimension were so weird.

"You don't love yourself," Scourge said at last. He cradled his precious burger, the only food he'd found so far that was untouched by their vile food crimes, closer. "If you loved yourself as much as you say you do, you wouldn't delude yourself into thinking that actually looks good."

"Pussy," Sonic sneered, dipping a gravy covered fry in the mushy peas and shoving it into his mouth. "Don't knock it 'til you try it."

"I think I'd rather cut my own tongue out than eat that shit. The food I was fed in prison was better than that. If they come knocking on your door looking for me, you're going to give them ideas."

Sonic sighed again, deep and agonized like the dramatic bastard he was. He shuffled closer to Scourge so their shoulders brushed together, leaning into him. "Seriously, it's not that bad. Just give it a try."

Scourge stared at him in horror. "You're trying to kill me. Your own boyfriend. You're trying to poison me with your shit food so you can claim my life insurance."

"You don't have life insurance. You're seventeen. You don't even legally exist in this dimension."

"You're going to drain my life savings after you put me in the hospital!"

"You don't have life savings, either. For fucks sake, just one bite. Stop being a baby."

"Excuse you, it's called self-preservation, and I will not-"

"Do it, you coward. I dare you."

Scourge glared at him. Oh, that manipulative little bastard.

"Fine," he huffed, ignoring Sonic's smirk. He eyed the flaming pile of garbage on Sonic's knee, took a deep breath, and sent a prayer to a god he didn't believe in. This was it. This was how he died. The great Scourge the Hedgehog, driven to his knees and into an early grave by shitty food and his horrible, horrible boyfriend.

He gingerly picked up a single fry - if he was going out, he was going out calling his food by the correct name - smothered in an almost decent amount of gravy. Decent for Sonic's standards, at least, because he'd lovingly bully Scourge for the rest of his life if he picked a fry with next to no gravy on it.

"The peas, too," Sonic said, smirking at him.

Was it too late to run back to Moebius and curl up in a corner and hide for the rest of eternity?

Scourge dipped the fry into the mushy peas with a grimace. His gag was only half mocking. How did Sonic eat this without flinching? Was this some kind of sick power play? Fuck, the things Scourge did for his reputation and pride.

Bringing the unholy abomination to his mouth took a herculean amount of effort. Every last survival instinct he had screamed at him to throw it in the trash and set it on fire, then douse the fire in holy water. Was this payback for being such a little shit as a child? Even though Scourge had done nothing to (this) Sonic? He hoped he didn't see his father when he passed on to a, hopefully better, place. Who was he kidding, any place would be better than right here, preparing to eat a food combination no one should ever be able to shit out of their ass.

Screwing his eyes shut and sending one last mental curse in Sonic's direction, Scourge forced himself to put the fry in his mouth and chew.

...

...

...

It... tasted like a fry and peas. And... whatever the fuck the gravy was, Scourge honestly didn't know how to describe it. It wasn't good, but it didn't make him want to stick his head in the ocean and gargle salt water, either. Which was already an improvement from his expectations.

"Well?"

Sonic was still smirking at him, eyes glinting knowingly. Scourge chewed a little longer, just to make sure he had his final answer, then swallowed.

"That was the worst fry I've ever had in my life," he said, and took a big bite of his beloved burger to drown out the taste.

"Chip. Fries are just another name for those skinny chips."

"No, chips are those snacks that come in a bag."

"Those are crisps you uncultured swine."

Scourge took three more rapid bites of his burger. That, at least, was delightful and familiar and not an abomination of food.

"You didn't spit it out, so it couldn't have been that bad," Sonic said.

Scourge paused, taking another bite of his burger as he thought. "... It was better than the food in prison."

"I'll take it." Sonic nudged him playfully. "I told you it wasn't that bad. Next time don't be such a baby."

"It was horrific. Don't ever do that to me again."

"You think this is bad? Just wait until you find out about the delicacy of gravy on pizza."

"Nice try, but you're not getting me this time. I know that one's not real."

Sonic made eye contact with him and pointedly said nothing.

"... That's not actually a real thing here, right?"

Sonic ate another fry and said nothing.

Scourge grabbed the carton of crimes against all existing lifeforms and smashed it into Sonic's face. His lips twitched into a smile as the carton flopped pathetically into Sonic's lap, revealing his shocked and outraged face.

His amusement was short lived, however, when Sonic snatched the remaining bite or so of his burger, smeared it into the leftover gravy and mushy peas in the box, and popped it into his mouth.

"... I'm going to pretend I didn't see that."

Sonic grinned.

They didn't share any kisses for the rest of the night.

[lovejustforaday]

Sonic Youth Albums Ranked (Part 3)

6. Sister (1987)

Main Genres: Noise Rock, Alternative Rock, Post-Punk

A decent sampling of: Experimental Rock

This is the first LP in the Sonic Youth discography accessible enough to be labelled a true ‘Alternative Rock’ record. It’s still rough around the edges, but Sister is full of catchy hooks and thrilling guitar sounds. I feel like this record and Daydream Nation probably went on to spawn at least 200 new alternative rock bands by the time the 90s came around (not that I was there to see it or anything, just speculation).

Sister deserves a lot of credit for solidifying on tracks like “Catholic Block” and “Stereo Sanctity” what would become the dominant formula for the band’s sound throughout most of the rest of their discography. I think that's part of the reason why this is Sonic Youth’s second most acclaimed and beloved record. Perhaps some fans would even be downright offended that I only put this at #6 on the list, but trust me when I say that this is only because the band has made so many fantastic records. In fact, for most bands, this would easily be their greatest record.

I can still remember the first time I heard the opening to “Schizophrenia”, I had never heard anything quite like it. The guitars sound upbeat yet worn out and dejected, making me feel isolated and almost spiritually weak when I listen to this track, yet somehow also comforted. The song is partially inspired by Kim’s older brother who has schizophrenia, though the roles are reversed in this song with a brother whose sister is schizophrenic. It’s a deeply fascinating and memorable piece, and I can see why many fans consider this to be a top five Sonic Youth track.

Most of the rest of Sister is very scratchy and punkish with some very tight guitar work, like “Catholic Block” which boasts one of my favourite melodic riffs in the Sonic Youth canon. There’s also “Hot Wire My Heart”, another major highlight and a cover of the obscure British punk band Crime, where Sonic Youth takes their song and upgrades the guitars and drums while also adding a bold wall of feedback at the end.

Then there’s “Pacific Coast Highway”, a completely sickening song and one of Kim’s very finest moments as a lyricist and vocalist. This haunting noise rock jumble tells the story of either a unhinged stranger, or perhaps a resentful ex-lover, who is obsessively catcalling the listener from their car, with the not-so-subtle implication that you’re all by yourself somewhere and that this person intends to harm you. I have no idea if this was written about a personal experience, but I do know from listening to their voices that this is something many women have either gone through or live in perpetual fear of. Seriously fucked up stuff, but also one of Sonic Youth’s very best tracks.

"Cotton Crown” is an odd one out in the Sonic Youth discography; an uncharacteristically sincere but still off-kilter love song that Kim and Thurston sing as a duet. Their voices are a bit out of tune with each other, but i think that honestly fits the Sonic Youth aesthetic and it’s sweet in its own quirky way, although very bittersweet decades later with hindsight about the fate of their relationship. Sort of a noise rock lullaby almost, maybe even with hints of early shoegaze.

Sister does a really good job of taking the seemingly juxtaposing ideas of the ‘fun’ and the ‘grotesque’ and fuses them together. This album is both largely exciting and still somehow alienating and depressive. It’s textbook Sonic Youth, really. I will say that the best tracks are clustered together with a noticeably weaker middle portion, but really this is still a consistently great record throughout. Altogether, Sister is one of the many entries in the band’s discography from 1986 through 1990 where Sonic Youth could basically do no wrong. A classic record.

9/10

highlights: “Pacific Coast Highway”, “Schizophrenia”, ‘Catholic Block”, “Cotton Crown”, “Hot Wire My Heart”, “Beauty Lies in the Eye”

5. A Thousand Leaves (1998)

Main Genres: Noise Rock, Experimental Rock

A decent sampling of: Alternative Rock, Post-Rock, Neo-Psychedelia

I’m just gonna say this now: A Thousand Leaves is by far Sonic Youth’s most underrated record. It’s also the last truly amazing record that the band ever put out. Maybe it’s just the bizarre choice of an album cover that turns people off of this LP. Really, what the hell were they going for here with the minimalist hamster vibes? The beautiful title really suggests something a lot more visually stunning.

In all seriousness though, I feel like nobody talks about this one because it’s overshadowed by its predecessor Washing Machine, but if there’s one area that this record exceeds above all other Sonic Youth LPs, it’s that it perfectly captures that mellow feeling that the later Sonic Youth albums were inclined towards. Not a lot of Sonic Youth records put me at ease like this one does.

Likewise, this is maybe the most ‘feel-good’ record in their discography along with Murray Street. But where Muray Street is something you could put on in the background and enjoy pretty modestly, A Thousand Leaves is a largely experimental, out-of-body experience that pulls you into its surreal, flowery, evergreen world.

“Contre Le Sexism” is a perfect opener for this kind of record; this quiet daze of a waking dream is both dainty and delirious, alluding to Alice in Wonderland with Kim’s vocals never before sounding so gentle and bright. I swear I start to hear a door creak at the end. Maybe that’s the sound of stepping out into the rest of A Thousand Leaves.

What follows immediately after is “Sunday” which is actually one of the band’s poppiest moments, making it somewhat of an outlier on this highly avant-garde and immersive record. But the warm spring vibes of the melody fits right in. The wall of sound introduced during the bridge is a soft mesmerizing bliss more akin to a band like My Bloody Valentine, if not for the tiny distant screeches of atonality whirling around here and there. As a big fan of both bands, I’m all for this kind of sound.

“Wildflower Soul” is easily one of the best things Sonic Youth has ever written. Endless amounts of creativity are poured into this nine minute noise rock acrobatics performance along with a lyrical ode to love, nature, and childhood. The vibes of this one are really quite jaw-dropping given the fact that these are the same guys who wrote “Schizophrenia” and “Death Valley ‘69″. There’s such unison and harmony in the band’s performance here as they switch between different bpm and even time signatures, and the usage of the heavy phaser effect towards the end sounds nothing short of godlike. "Wildflower Soul” almost feels like an entire album experience in one song, and I’m beyond impressed every time I listen to it.

This makes for a hard act to follow, but A Thousand Leaves still has plenty of other highlights. “French Tickler” is a strange and satisfying track that switches back and forth between a playful melody and churning, stretchy distortion. “Karen Koltrane” is a murky but textured portrait of Lee Renaldo’s ex-girlfriend, who got addicted to hallucinogens and became heavily withdrawn from the rest of the world. “Snare, Girl” is a soothing spell where Thurston sounds like he’s trying to coax the listener into a never-ending slumber.

My only real complaint here is “Hits of Sunshine (For Allen Ginsberg)”, a lackadaisical jam session that sounds cool enough, but really overstays its welcome given the lack of development it achieves over its eleven minute run time. It’s a nice piece to vibe to, but it very noticeably disrupts the album’s flow. Take this one track away entirely, or even just edit it down severely, and this would probably be a 10/10 record for me.

Still, wow what a cool album. A Thousand Leaves is a great example of why I respect this band so much. Even this late into their career, Sonic Youth were willing to try so many new bizarre things while also building judiciously upon the foundations of their past work with great attention to detail. I wouldn’t recommend most people start with this one, it’s definitely a bit more challenging especially if you haven’t listened to some other really weird experimental rock records. But once you’re in the right headspace for it, it’s easy to get almost completely lost in A Thousand Leaves.

9/10

highlights: “Wildflower Soul”, “Sunday”, “French Tickler”, “Karen Koltrane”, “Snare, Girl”, “Contre Le Sexism”, “Heather Angel”

4. Goo (1990)

Main Genres: Noise Rock, Alternative Rock

A decent sampling of: Experimental Rock, Post-Punk

Goo was my very first Sonic Youth album, and I can definitely still feel some of the old teenage angst that I had at the time whenever I listen to this one. What probably adds to that feeling is the fact that this along with Daydream Nation is one of the two albums in the band’s discography that I’d say possesses a great deal of immediacy. Albums like Sister and A Thousand Leaves are a bit more subtle and they take a while to be fully digested. But this one, this one hit me like a brick wall.

Between “Tunic (Song For Karen)”, “Kool Thing”, and “Cinderella’s Big Score”, Goo is above all others the Sonic Youth record where Kim Gordon is really the star of the band, featuring not one but three of her most captivating songs. Likewise, I would also say that this is Sonic Youth’s most overtly feminist and socially conscious record.

I don’t know if anybody else feels this way, but to me the opener “Dirty Boots” really does sound like “Teen Age Riot” part 2. That’s not a bad thing of course, Sonic Youth making more songs like “Teen Age Riot” could never be a bad thing, and “Dirty Boots” is definitely one of the highlights of Goo with its massive build up of kinetic energy. That being said, I do have to say that I don’t think any song could do this particular kind of album opener better than “Teen Age Riot” already does it, but I still really do enjoy “Dirty Boots”.

“Tunic (Song For Karen)” is one of Sonic Youth’s most poetic and poignant songs. Kim’s sing-talking voice is even more solemn than usual as she takes on a surreal retelling of the final days of drummer/pop star pioneer Karen Carpenter from her perspective, highlighting the severity of her loneliness and the criminal negligence of many of the people around her who let her succumb to her eating disorder. Set to a backdrop of stark and droning alternative rock, I would say that this is possibly the band’s most depressing moment and certainly one of the biggest statements that they ever made.

A lot of the rest of Goo is actually pretty fun though. “Kool Thing” features Chuck D on guest vocals, and its a funny sarcastic take down of the subjugation of women’s voices in supposedly liberated spaces like the world of rock and hip hop, inspired by the time Kim interviewed L.L. Cool J and attempted to have a political conversation. The song mocks L.L.’s attitude towards women while also poking fun at Kim’s own self-perceived elitism. There’s also “Mote”, a sensational head rush that dissolves into noise rock weird-isms, sorta recreating the feeling of going from buzzed to totally black out.

“Mildred Pierce” is almost a practical joke but I kind of love the hell out of it anyway. A short track with lyrics consisting only of the song’s title, it starts with the band getting into a nice little riff before (without warning) bursting into a hardcore punk cacophony as Thurston screams the name over and over into the listener’s ears. Made me jump the first time I heard it.

And then there’s “Cinderella’s Big Score”. If “Schizophrenia” vaguely hinted at Kim’s estranged relationship with her older brother, then “Cinderella’s Big Score” confronts it dead on. Featuring some of the band’s most totally insane and disfigured guitar work ever, this song sounds harsh and militant, like the dawn of a nuclear cataclysm. It’s very hard to believe that Kim is 37 years old here; she reverts to sounding exactly like a hurt teenage little sister, rebelling against her childhood trauma and lashing out at her brother’s past bullying and now his cold indifference towards her.

The song grapples with some very painful emotions, but the experience is raw and cathartic. “Cinderella’s Big Score” is definitely somewhere in Sonic Youth’s top 10 tracks for me; it just doesn’t get any realer than this. Honestly, the record could’ve ended here. I like “Titanium Expose” enough as a closer, but this would’ve made a really powerful and lasting impression to end the album.

Despite that, Goo is an excellent Sonic Youth record that demonstrates just how much the band had mastered their craft after a decade of making all sorts of noises. Obviously I’m biased since it was my own first Sonic Youth record, but I really do feel like this is the very best place to start with the band. Goo is one of their more melodic and accessible offerings, but it’s also one of their most provocative records and it really captures the essence of Sonic Youth’s identity.

9/10

highlights: “Cinderella’s Big Score”, “Tunic (Song For Karen)”, “Mote”, “Kool Thing”, “Dirty Boots”, ‘Mildred Pierce”

3. EVOL (1986)

Main Genres: Noise Rock, Experimental Rock, Post-Punk

A decent sampling of: No Wave, Alternative Rock

If Bad Moon Rising was bleak and desolate, than EVOL is disturbed, uncanny, and deeply paranoid. Sonic Youth’s third record evokes the feeling of being all alone at midnight on a sketchy highway, complete with mental images of flickering street lights and looming shadowy figures. I mentioned earlier that I have to be in the right mood to enjoy Bad Moon Rising, but this record puts me in the right mood almost instantly whenever I put it on.

EVOL isn’t exactly a no wave album like their first two records. The highly experimental influence is still there, but the arrangements are starting to sound fuller and more intentional.

You could say that this LP marks somewhat of a transitional phase between Sonic Youth the no wave band and Sonic Youth the alternative rock band, and in many respects it has the best of both worlds. There’s a few catchy darker alternative rock songs here and there, sandwiched between tracks that could best be described as ‘mad scientist’ music, which altogether creates a varied and unique album experience.

“Tom Violence“ immediately establishes the tone of EVOL with crooked, scraping flashes of post-punk guitars. This track reminds me of heads hung low, bodies slouched uncomfortably, and the feeling of being completely wide awake at 2:00 am. There’s something very unfriendly that lurks beneath the dissonance of these sounds.

If “Tom Violence” is uneasy, then “Shadow of A Doubt” is an auditory nightmare, managing to capture something akin to the fear of being watched by an unknown stranger hiding in the shadows. Notes are gently plucked like icy cold fingers slowly crawling up the listener’s back while Kim whispers about murder plots and oneirophrenia. The “just a dream” lyrical motif is first uttered reassuringly, but eventually turns into a desperate plea as Kim begins to shout frantically and the music intensifies.

The album dials down the spook factor a few notches with “Starpower” and “In The Kingdom #19″. The former is an early example of Sonic Youth’s ability to combine melodic hooks with meandering chaos that would become refined on the next few LPs, while the latter features Lee’s first solo vocals (and one of his best performances) reciting a lucid, jet black vision of a car accident. Thurston threw firecrackers into the recording studio when they did Lee’s vocals on this track and you can hear it in the recording, and just like “Mildred Pierce” it really caught me off guard the first time I heard it.

“Secret Girl” is the scariest fucking thing in the whole Sonic Youth discography, and also just one of the scariest songs I’ve ever heard. It starts with a deep shuddering thud that sounds like it’s getting closer and closer. Then out of nowhere, a cassette-recording of an old detuned piano starts to play a simple, unnerving refrain while Kim offers a cryptic and uncomfortably suggestive spoken word piece. It feels like a scene that might play out in a horror film, where a television screen comes on by itself and the person on the screen begins to talk directly to the viewer.

Finally, there’s “Expressway To Yr Skull” (alternatively titled “Madonna, Sean, and Me”), which would be my #1 Sonic Youth album closer if not for the #1 album on this list. That being said, this song is still one of the biggest highlights of the band’s career. "Expressway To Yr Skull” starts off restless and spectacular, leading up to an utterly earth-shaking climax, and then it’s as if the song promptly dies, only to become a lingering undead entity that pulls you down with it. I still can’t get over how the ending really manages to sound like it’s dragging you down further and further into its barren depths.

To add to that, there’s actually a locked groove on the original vinyl release of this LP that plays the last little bit of “Expressway To Yr Skull”, meaning that if you let the needle sit there, it will forever loop that last little bit of droning at the end of the track. I really appreciate this little detail; it’s as if the pervasive darkness of EVOL is so encompassing that it could turn into a deep midnight that never ends.

EVOL is honestly so close to being a 10 for me, but just like Sister I find that it is decently weaker towards the middle. Still, I’m absolutely enamored with the atmosphere on this album. No gothic rock record has ever managed to sound so deeply unsettling to my ears like this little experimental record does. You really just have to experience this one for yourself. Honestly, don’t be surprised if in a year or two I’ve changed my mind and bumped this one to a 10.

9/10

highlights: “Expressway To Yr Skull”, “Shadow Of A Doubt”, “Tom Violence”, “Secret Girl”, “In The Kingdom #19″, “Starpower”

[mellometal]

HEY.

I haven't been able to keep up on the whole Dhar Mann lore as of current day, and I'm sorry, BUT FUCK THAT PIECE OF SHIT RIGHT NOW. He's not important at the moment. There's someone else who I really need to discuss. You probably know who this person is if you're in the Sonic fandom.

A few questions for anyone who's new to this person:

1. Do you know who Chris Chan is?

2. If so, what are your thoughts on Chris?

3. Does the character Sonichu ring any bells? If not, here's an official picture of him below:

For anyone who has never heard about Chris Chan, I don't have time to go into the whole lore here because it's not important. You can jump down the CWC rabbit hole on your own. There are MANY documentaries on this person. I recommend Geno Samuel's docuseries on Chris Chan, if you want to know EVERYTHING about this person so far and you're committed to the task.

To sum up Chris Chan in a few words, she's an autistic trans woman who created Sonichu and dealt with a shit load of trolls. Her parents (her late father and elderly mother) have enabled their own child her whole life.

I'm thoroughly disgusted by this person and I don't fucking respect her whatsoever. The ONLY amount of respect I'm bothering to give her AT ALL is using the correct pronouns for Chris when referring to her. That's IT.

Obligatory trigger warning (I am DEAD SERIOUS here, so please listen):

This post will be going into sensitive subject matter such as r@p3, s3xual assault, elder abuse, inc3$t, and Chris Chan ADMITTING TO (ALLEGEDLY) HARMING HER OWN MOTHER. (There will be videos linked in this post if you want to watch them. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.)

If any of those subjects is triggering for you in ANY WAY, or they just flat-out make you uncomfortable, please don't feel like you're obligated to read this post. I understand that these subjects are extremely sensitive, and I'm going to try my hardest to talk about these subjects in the most respectful manner possible. I don't want to bring back any trauma you or someone you know may have. That's the last thing I would ever want to do. Put your mental health and well-being first. Again, like I say with every post that talks about sensitive subject matter that may be triggering or uncomfortable for people, consume media that sparks joy for you.

Any resources that you or someone you know may need will be in this post too. Some countries might not even have resources for things like this locally, but I will try my best to find them.

United States:

Canada:

Latin America:

South America:

ALL European countries:

ALL of Africa:

ALL of the Middle East:

ALL of Asia:

Australia:

New Zealand:

Anyone who's still here, let's get on with the subject of this post, which are the current events in Chris Chan's life.

Recently, Chris Chan has admitted to (allegedly) s3xually assaulting Barbara, her elderly mother. There is audio that was leaked yesterday of her admitting to this very (alleged) action.

One of the phone calls that was leaked is below. This is that full phone call:

Here's a video with the segments where Chris admitted to (allegedly) s3xually assaulting Barbara (WARNING: THE THUMBNAIL IS GROSS):

As of now, Barbara is currently in the hospital for a mental wellness check to see if she's lucid. She's also there for a r@p3 test to see if there was any penetration.

Chris was detained (most likely to be questioned), then released. Her initial plans were to stay with her aunt and uncle, who live near where she and her mother live. Those plans fell through, as apparently they rejected Chris. She's not allowed to have any contact with her mother, or be at the house until August 5th. Their pets are currently left unattended in the house....I don't know who's going to be taking care of the animals with nobody there. I don't know where Chris will be staying for the next few days. That hasn't been disclosed to the public, as far as I've been able to do research on these current events.

I cannot say that Chris has actually COMMITTED THIS CRIME until the test results come in for Barbara, Chris is tried in court, Chris gets a prison sentence, and Barbara is put into a nursing home. That's why I said she (Chris) admitted to ALLEGEDLY committing this crime.

Incest between a mother and son (that's how the crime was written, please forgive me) in the state of Virginia is a Class 5 felony. Class 5 felonies are considered "wobblers", as they can be deemed felonies or misdemeanors, depending on the circumstances. If deemed a felony, Chris could face from one to up to ten years in prison. If deemed a misdemeanor, Chris could face up to twelve months in prison. Because Chris is on disability, they might go easier on her. On the flip side, because of Barbara's age, they might go harder on Chris.

If Barbara happened to be lucid during those events, the charges above would apply. If she wasn't lucid at all and was confused, shit would get VERY serious for Chris.

I also can't exactly say if the phone call is even real; however, there's evidence of Chris admitting to having a fetish for old people, including her own mother. According to a person Chris is friends with, she's had dreams about having s3x with her mother. I also am not sure if Chris is confusing herself with having s3x with fucking MEWTWO, if she was coerced into lying, or if she's hiding something else and decided to say this to cover her own ass. Did I mention she's married to some of her own characters (Magi-Chan, Cryzel, and Sylvana) AND Mewtwo from Pokémon? THAT'S TRUE. YOU CAN LOOK THAT UP IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME.

Why do I say that Barbara needs to be in a nursing home? BECAUSE CHRIS OBVIOUSLY ISN'T FIT TO TAKE CARE OF HER OWN MOTHER. I'D LIKE HER MOM TO BE SAFE WITH PEOPLE WHO CAN ACTUALLY TAKE CARE OF HER.

This whole situation is disgusting and it makes me sick to my stomach. Chris Chan is a MONSTER. I hope Barbara's okay. I know she's not a very good person either (welp, birds of a feather flock together), but I do have sympathy for the elderly and what happened to her is unforgivable.

Some other YouTubers who have talked about this are Gibi and Rogue The Internet Man, as far as I know for now.

[shadowofthelamp]

Okay, I’m still on this. Building on this post, having Scourge genuinely want Sonic to join him is just a really, really interesting narrative choice, and I want to figure out where it came from. There’s a TL;DR at the end since it got a bit long.

Is it on some level that he thinks heroism is naïve and he just thinks Sonic can do better? Yeah, I think that’s part of it. It comes up both when he’s trying to convince Sonic in 191 and after he thinks he’s won in 196 when he goes Super. Between “What does heroism get you?” in the page below and “See what that (holier-than-thou attitude) got you?!” in the linked page this very much informs his worldview. Heroism leading to bad outcomes both for the people being heros and the world in general (in his eyes) means that heroic actions (and the attitude, thinking heroism is better than selfishness) must be bad as well. 

“I got that my way, not yours. Folks smile and wave you you? Everyone bows to me!” He doesn’t want everyone genuinely liking him as a person, not that he’d admit anyway- he wants worship, for people to look up at him instead of across the aisle. He 100% rules the Suppression Squad via fear and is perfectly comfortable with it until it blows up in his face. He’s rather keep himself up and out of reach from connections that could hurt him if he opens himself up to them, because he doesn’t truly respect his crew and mostly uses them to inflate his own ego via that bowing/submisson thing.

Obviously the hesitation in that middle panel there is more for the benefit of the audience suspense for the next comic than anything since Sonic would never go for this and he directly states so in the next issue, (and I don’t think it’s really ‘him not wanting to admit it to himself’). Sonic’s expression in the first panel definitely is a ‘are you serious?’ sort of thing, but Scourge sure seems serious about this, considering he brought it up again after going Super, lamenting that Sonic didn’t take what he sees as the smart option. Plus, he’s pissed right here that Metal interrupted. 

He tries to posture himself above Sonic in the page below- the first panel there is referring to the fact that he calls himself a King now. He WANTS to be more than Sonic, so he takes an honestly pretty childish tact to it- he just kicks everybody else down to make himself king of the hill, and then KEEPS kicking them down because he’s never going to get their genuine respect, so he has to keep stomping to keep them below him. .

I think part of the angle here? Scourge, although he’d never consciously admit it, genuinely admires Sonic and wants what he has- respect and affection earned through good character and not fear.

I admittedly don’t know the pre-Ian issues as well, but he repeatedly kept popping up in Prime to pretend he was Sonic. He likes Sonic’s life better- and why wouldn’t he? The Squad has no care for each other. Miles is plotting to usurp him at basically all times, it seems. Patch and Boomer seem to like the new direction/power he brought them as the leader, but they also were willing to turn on him as soon as Miles suggested it. Moebius is generally peaceful, so he never deals with anything interesting, and he’s got an empire of dirt even when he did conquer the planet, from all the infighting after the Great Peace fell apart. Fiona said that he just ‘beat up a few warlords’- he can tell himself he’s king all he wants, but he’s just a kid playing pretend and kicking away anybody who can/would dispel that illusion.

I don’t doubt that just knowing he’s a ‘reverse’ version of someone else grated on him- it’s a heck of an identity crisis, which is probably why he was so eager to accept his recolor and picked a new name almost immediately. He wants to differentiate himself- and forced the Squad to all go along with it. He’s over the top to the Nth degree to prove to HIMSELF that’s he’s the biggest, baddest cat in town. This is something that bugged him a lot.

On top of that, Sonic beat him- he brushed it off, and he could blame Locke for one of them, but generally, toe-to-toe, Sonic’s a better fighter since he just has more practice, and that’s something he does reluctantly admire. He thinks Sonic’s ‘full of untapped potential’- something he can use for himself, sure, but it’s untapped in his opinion specifically, because he thinks on the surface Sonic is just going about things all wrong with the power he has. 

Deep-down, he’s unsure of himself. He’s so egotistical and assholish on the surface because it covers that he’s overcompensating for the fact that pretty much every relationship he has is shallow, selfish, and liable to stab him in the back- and he knows it. If he pretends that’s how he wants things, maybe he can make himself (and everyone watching) believe it.

That’s why he cared enough about Sonic joining him. He wants Sonic to validate the choices he made. Sonic’s one of the only people whose opinion he genuinely cares about, even though it’s under a good few layers of jerkishness, because Sonic is a version of him that has a harder life but is much more successful. He can deny it all he wants, but he wants people to respect him, and all he can do is try to get a facsimile of that by busting heads together and ruling by fear, because anything too introspective leads him to things he doesn’t want to confront about himself- that he is weaker both in character and in battle, and a coward and a bully.

When Sonic turns him down he just brushes it off with ‘your loss’ and a big grin, (while holding Fiona tighter, as if to say ‘look what I have and you don’t’), but then he brings it back when he’s got the upper hand- if he was just rubbing in that Sonic could have avoided a beating, I feel like he would have phrased things differently. Resposting this image, ‘What IS IT with you?’ and ‘We could have done this together, but no! You decided to go the holier-than-thou route!’ says to me that he’s A: Genuinely offended, so the idea of them teaming up had come up in his head before now and wasn’t just thrown out on a whim, and B: He thinks that Sonic thinks that he’s better than him. (Which he does, because... well, he is.)

Scourge came back to Mobius to prove himself against Sonic, but even though he absolutely has the upper hand here, he knows something isn’t right- he doesn’t feel as satisfied as he should. He can’t figure out exactly what he wanted, and is taking it out on Sonic. He’s defensive and aggressive at the same time here- why would he care if Sonic thought himself better than him when he’s already declared that he’s the ‘superior’ of the two? Only his own opinion should matter if he just wants worship, shouldn’t it?

But he doesn’t just want blind worship. He thinks that he does, because that means he doesn’t have to get vulnerable, but he wants someone on his level.- he wanted them to rule the multiverse together. Fiona is decent enough- he does genuinely seem to like her and although their relationship was probably destined to fall apart at some point, for now she was a decent towel stuffed into the wound for that particular problem of ‘not having anyone to care about/to care about him’. However, he wants Sonic- his approval or his defeat, specifically. He wants Sonic either as a partner in crime or as a trophy- either way, he ‘wins’ and proves that his way of kicking his way to the top was the valid, right choice. Sonic is the true version of himself and the opponent he cares most about facing, and his approval means Scourge would win for real. Not getting that wedges a crack in his insecurities.

In his life, heroism had only ever led to problems. It led his dad to neglect him in service of trying to chase peace for everyone else, it led the world to crumble to pieces when that peace failed, and he learned violence was the only thing that got him attention, even though it was negative from everyone outside the Squad. So Sonic embodying that heroism ideal, and then beating him? It throws everything he thinks into question, and he wants to prove that he’s right so he doesn’t have to question it. 

He’s starving for positive interactions from people he respects since they’re so few and far between. He spent time thinking about a comment Sonic made during a previous fight, and then conquered the planet trying to chase the spirit of it even though he got it twisted to the point of unrecognizability. 

Scourge wants to be able to just mill his own confidence- to say he’s a badass and then believe it. And on some level, he can! But that’s flimsy and he requires some manner of outside support he has no real way of getting, and feeling like he’s being looked down on by Sonic hurts him more than he’d admit. 

So, TL;DR: Scourge wants Sonic to validate him and his (bad) worldview, and gets pissy when that doesn’t happen, because he unconsciously respects Sonic more than he’d admit and not getting that means he has to think about how he’s actually messed up in the past. He wants equals because shallow worship borne from fear isn’t a replacement for genuine affection, but he hasn’t matured enough to realize that’s what he actually wants/needs.

[onestowatch]

CARR’s Latest Single Is Aimed at Every “Loser” You’ve Ever Dated

With her latest single, “Loser,” LA-based artist CARR, aka Carly McClellan, continues searching for peace of mind, making music for a dissatisfied generation. Her searing track tackles the perils of modern dating, the art of indecisiveness, and the disillusion behind today's gut-wrenching expectations. CARR's upcoming collection of songs centers around a myriad of sonic left-turns and diaristic songwriting, interrogating the stark realities of coming-of-age mistakes, toxic relationships, and the sometimes painful but joyous roads of self-discovery.

The track highlights the artist's pop-punk roots by paying homage to the emotiveness of icons like Avril Lavigne and The All-American Rejects. CARR has an indisputable talent for infusing memorable power-pop guitars and tongue-in-cheek lyrics with brutal honesty. CARR's deadpan delivery, especially on lines like "now you're all alone with your tiny dick," is driven by clever songwriting and contains energy that moves across alt-pop, energetic indie-rock and pop-punk tendencies. 

"I fought hard to have that line kept in the song," shares the artist about her more inflammatory lyrics. "8/10 people wanted me to change it, and I was like no way." Wryly observational yet candidly familiar, "Loser" is an immensely relatable anthem that looks back on the crappy people you've dated only to realize all you can do now is poke fun at yourself for dealing with those miserable circumstances in the first place.

CARR shares, "We made 'Loser' about those types of people you date that just really, really suck. It's kind of like a realization of how low you've stooped for them. I wanted to make a fun anthem about it, and something I wish I could've blasted in my car when I was getting over some horrible dudes. It was the most fun I've had in a session probably ever because we were just laughing the whole time, making jokes that we put in the song."

The accompanying music video is an equally engaging piece of art full, partly stemming from CARR's own background in film. The Natalie Leonard and Rachel Cabitt directed music video flirts between melodrama, camp, and the grotesque. "I originally made a mood board for the project, and it had a lot of old horror movie references and just overall dark vibes," explains the New Jersey native. "So, when we had a call with the Pond Creative girls, we talked about how much I love fucked up things and horror in general. So from that, they sent over a treatment, and I was obsessed with the plotline. They nailed it on the first try."

The clip opens with the singer drenched head to toe in blood while she muses over just how horrible of a person her former flame was to her. "I'm obsessed with horror films, so I was strangely so excited for this video and to be made a bloody mess," shares CARR. "The best part was just getting to be covered in blood, running around the streets of New York with everyone staring and concerned. People were terrified. I think a kid even started crying at one point." 

CARR is then seen carrying her victim down a flight of apartment stairs and exclaiming in the streets that she "can do so much better." She continues, "The most challenging aspect of it was carrying the 'body bag' up and down the apartment steps. They made it with tons of small plastic bags filled with water to give it the chunkiness of an actual body. It was so heavy, I was genuinely struggling- no acting needed."

"Loser" is an empowering must-add to any summer playlist, perfect for blasting at full volume while going for night drives with your partners in crime.

Listen to “Loser” below:

[forestwater87]

(first apologies if this is a duplicate; I got a "bad request" notification the first time I tried to send this ask) but anyhow; I saw your tags on my Lucretia post and i am not sure how to reply to tags?? but i want to see your version of that scene! (if you still want to share) I love Lucretia very much and love to see other peoples' takes on her. anyway, I hope you are having a good day!

OH MY GOD YAY!! 

I mean, cool, whatever. I guess I could share a little bit of that fic. That’s fine.

(yayayayayayayay eeeeeeeeeee)

Okay, part of me wanted to blast you with the entire chapter, but that’s 25-ish pages so I’m forcing myself to show restraint here and only include the tail end. There’s a little bit of context missing, because it’s the last section of Chapter 10 of a fic that so far has at least 32 chapters, but I think it all makes sense. It’s basically just “here’s what happened in that cycle when everybody else was a statue person” and it was, you know, not a good time. (There’s some implied Magcretia, sorry not sorry.) 

Plus it’s really good. I know that sounds arrogant, but I’ve spent the last 4-5 years hating every word I’ve ever written, and I’m going to enjoy this confidence for as long as it chooses to stay.

So anyway, I hope you enjoy! 

There are no line breaks on tumblr anymore so this is the part where the actual writing starts:

When the Hunger arrived, it was a relief more than anything.

Lucretia had been in the middle of defending The Starblaster from a group of marauders climbing like ants all over the dented and hastily-repaired sides of the ship, trying to figure out if she could possibly shake them all free without having to resort to the magic she’d deduced made it possible for the court to find her, when the sky turned dark and everything went gray. 

And her first thought was, Oh thank Pan. (She wasn’t a religious person at all, but enough time with Merle had made the casual prayers second nature.) This nightmare was almost over. In less than an hour, she’d have her family back.

She was so close to seeing Magnus again.

“Fisher, get back in your tank!” she shouted, abandoning the shield she’d been summoning and sprinting to the helm — she’d spent so much time this year running for her life that she could race from one end of the ship to the other without becoming winded. None of the marauders had made it onto the deck, but she felt the air above her head crackle with a spell that blazed past, and as she reached the controls she heard the now-familiar amplified voice call, “You are under arrest for multiple counts of evading the authority of the co — what the hell’s going on here?”

Oh, great. All her friends were here. Now all she needed was for the boar and crocodile to make an appearance.

As the officer began to interrogate the marauders (his side of the conversation still blaring loud and clear), Lucretia took advantage of the confusion to throw the ship forward. She’d had enough foresight to keep the way in front of The Starblaster clear for just this purpose, and while a few hundred yards of ash-colored grass were flattened, she was able to get the ship into the air.

She pointed it up, away from the Hunger — up into space, into nothingness, into any universe except this one, somewhere she’d stared at and imagined but now was finally going into . . .

If she could get the damaged, shuddering ship up to speed and break through the atmosphere, that was.

If not, everything ended here.

A tentacle of swirling darkness stabbed into the ground inches away from her ship, forcing her to swerve hard and nearly lose her footing. She threw all her weight on the acceleration as more of the Hunger’s tentacles latched onto the planet, the labored roar of the engines nearly drowning out the screams of panic from the people below.

As The Starblaster rocketed over a shining city with strange statues and up into the sky, a whisper made Lucretia look around — before realizing it had come from inside her own head.

We’ve been looking for you.

She frowned, clutching at the helm even tighter. Was this some sort of new thing the Hunger could do, or one last awful trick played by this hostile planet?

Another whisper, louder and lower-pitched: You’ve been evading judgement for some time now.

A massive column of the Hunger collided with the planet directly in front of her. It was so close, she had no choice but to try and blow through it, even though that meant taking the biggest risk she had all year. But The Starblaster’s momentum was impossible to halt, and the mile-wide column was impossible to go around, so she gritted her teeth, hunched over the controls, and slammed on the accelerator.

The second she crossed into the Hunger, everything went silent and black.

Everything, that was, except for the whispers: 

Lucretia, you have always let others take action and responsibility while you sit back and watch. You tell yourself this is worthwhile, but you know it is a lie. And yet when it is smartest and safest to proceed with caution, you take the most reckless path, because you refuse to admit you might be wrong. Your past sins are sloth, envy, and pride. How do you plead?

How did she plead? She didn’t plead for much of anything, except to survive long enough to fly them into the next cycle. The Hunger buffeted at the ship, wrapping smaller tentacles around its sleek metal body and trying to keep it from plowing forward; it might kill her — kill them all — but not knowing what else to do, she used Mage Hand to open the nearest window without leaving the helm and cast Fire Shield around the ship. It was weak and flickering compared to the spells of protection Merle could create, but the Hunger fell back with deafening shrieks of pain as flames licked the air around The Starblaster. 

The awful whispers weren’t letting up, though, digging cold fingers deep into her mind and sending a chill shudder down through her very soul.

Your present sins are no less grave. You kill without remorse. You have allowed yourself to become vindictive and spiteful. You have not abandoned your past failings, but have added new ones since our initial audit. We see fit to add to your current list of transgressions the crime of wrath. How do you plead?

Suddenly there was a break in the shimmering darkness, a bolt of ash-gray sky widening like a tear in heavy fabric — and then she was through, outside of the Hunger and so far above the doomed planet that she couldn’t see the ground below. She let out a scream of triumph, the noise tearing like sandpaper along her exhausted and dry throat, and angled the ship until it was almost vertical. The Starblaster shot forward as though with one last burst of strength, shuddering as its engines were pushed to the absolute limit . . .

The ship suddenly jolted to a halt, mechanisms whirring like a swarm of angry bees.

Lucretia turned to the still-open window and saw the entire view had been replaced with blackness, oily-iridescent tentacles spilling into the ship as others wrapped around it. She threw all of her weight on the acceleration, but it didn’t move; then, after a single grinding moment, The Starblaster began to fly backward, pulled back toward the core of the Hunger. 

She could hear its gnashing teeth.

“NO!” The word exploded out of her, coming from somewhere far below conscious thought. She abandoned the helm just long enough to run to the window, ignoring the tentacles that curled around her ankles as she pointed her wand at the offshoot of the Hunger that had its hold on her, aiming for where the base met the rest of the massive column, and shot off a burst of lightning. There was another hideous wail and the tentacles around the ship shuddered and pulled away, just a slight loosening of their incredible grip.

Her entire body shaking with terror and fury, she pointed her wand at the same spot and cast Finger of Death. 

The screaming was like a sonic blast — a thousand million voices filled with rage and pain and fear — knocking her onto her back and sending her skidding across the bridge. She scrambled to her feet, stumbling over her robe and lurching to the helm. The sound of the engines returning to full blast was like the roar of a furious animal loosed from its cage, and the last of the Hunger fell back as the ship threw itself up into space. It felt like the air was shouting with every conceivable emotion.

As the panic subsided and her head cleared, she realized it wasn’t the air screaming; it was those whisperers.

So much rage. So much wrath.

No remorse.

No different than the monster she tries to flee.

They were growing louder with every word, overlapping and running together until she struggled to pick out individual phrases —

She betrays the people she supposedly loves most

She destroys a family — destroys the memory of the family

Robs them of themselves

Who has the right?

No one has the right

The sound was becoming unbearable, deafening. Her ears felt like they were leaking; she lifted her hand to one and her fingers came back covered in blood.

It didn’t make sense — it wasn’t an external sound — it wasn’t an external force, but something ripping her apart from within.

It was the sound of going mad. 

At that point she was barely able to understand anything 

leaves him to die in agony in a hell she helped create

takes advantage of the innocent who make the mistake of believing in her

such a sweet boy, and all you do is lie to him

do you think you can make these decisions for the world?

the heartbreak you will cause

the betrayal

pride — such unfathomable pride

the deaths you will cause

the lives you will ruin

the blood that stains your hands

coldhearted — cowardly

wrath — envy — sloth

pride

PRIDE

Our judgement is decided.

You have been found wanting.

Something hardened in her chest, calcifying her lungs and making it impossible to breathe. Lucretia doubled over, her hands scrabbling to keep the ship moving, as her flesh turned hard, brittle, the feeling like casting Stone Skin but somehow it’d gotten inside . . .

She couldn’t move her tongue. She couldn’t breathe. Blackness crowded the edge of her vision — not like she was blacking out, but like her eyes just suddenly weren’t there anymore

everything went wobbly, the universe becoming untethered just for a moment

And when it stabilized, she realized she could move again, see again. She took a deep, tremulous breath and turned back from the helm, sliding to the floor in a heap.

It was less than a second, before the I.P.R.E. crew fully materialized, but she didn’t see it happen. As soon as the surreal, smoky outlines of her friends wavered into being, she dropped her head in her hands, a sob she’d been holding back for months finally escaping her throat.

She did it.

Magnus’s hands closed around her upper arms and he gently tugged her into an embrace. She could feel the cool steel of the bridge under her knees, heard the voices of all her friends speaking all at once. She was dimly aware she was talking, mumbling nonsense to herself as she waited for the world to stop spinning.

The last thing she was aware of before slipping into unconsciousness was Magnus’s breath on her forehead and his warm fingers combing through her hair.

[felicia-cat-hardy]

20 Asian American Musicians To Add To Your Playlist Now

Over the past several years, the K-pop industry in the U.S. has grown exponentially. The fan enthusiasm behind bands like BTS has drawn parallels to The Beatles, and so many K-pop groups have received the same passionate reception. The attention is well-deserved, but Asian artists represent a multitude of musical genres (even just within the K-pop industry) — a fact that should not be overlooked. Whether you're a fan of indie rock, R&B, hip-hop, or dance music, you won't want to sleep on these Asian American musicians.

Asian artists have recently received some long-deserved recognition in the entertainment industry, primarily in film. In 2020, Bong Joon-ho's Parasite won big at the Oscars. The following year, Youn Yuh-Jung won the award for Best Supporting Actress for her work in Minari, which also scored The Walking Dead alum Steven Yeun a nomination for Best Actor. However, there's still plenty of work to be done within the music landscape to ensure equal representation is achieved.

BTS, most notably, has seen unprecedented success in the U.S. Still, despite being invited to attend the last three Grammys, they've yet to take home an award, highlighting the discrepancy between their immense success and the Recording Academy's willingness to acknowledge it. Additionally, Asian artists have a harder time landing record deals. As American Idol alumni Paul Kim explained to The New York Times, he was blatantly told by industry execs he would have been signed to a label faster had he not been Asian.

By streaming these artists, you're not only supporting them and their art, but you're subsequently showing industry insiders just how valuable they are. Consider this list sonic proof Asian artists are making exceptional, diverse music that can't be boxed into one genre or sound. Each of these artists prides themselves on breaking boundaries and creating their own rules. You may have heard of a few, but many have been flying under the radar for far too long. Your ears will thank you soon enough.

Melissa Polinar

Polinar got her start in the late 2000s when viral YouTube covers paved the way for success. While artists like Justin Bieber and Lennon & Maisy were sharing music covers, Polinar focused on posting her original music — and her soulful vocals were a hit. In 2019, the Filipino-American songwriter actually re-recorded one of the songs that propelled her career forward, "Try," on its 10-year anniversary.

Eric Nam

Born and raised in Atlanta, Nam moved to Korea to pursue music because he felt he had a better chance of succeeding there. “Even if you look at American Idol, or X-Factor, or The Voice or anything, it was always difficult to see an Asian or an Asian-American make it to a certain point,” Nam told TIME in November 2019. Today, Nam is a highly visible and respected name in the K-pop industry. While he's very proud of his K-pop success, he considers himself a pop singer first. He hopes to grow his success stateside and told TIME, "I want people to hear my music and say, 'I don’t know who this person is,' and I could be Black, white, Latino, Asian — it doesn’t matter, but it’s just a great pop song."

Clinton Kane

Kane's got every making of a great singer-songwriter, and his lyricism will make a fan out of loyal Ed Sheeran or Sam Smith listeners. The Filipino-American singer's impressive vocal range captivates, and his emotion-driven lyrics will melt your heart. One of his more popular tracks, "Chicken Tendies," has upwards of 2 million views and is a must-add to your heartbreak playlist.

Jhené Aiko

As a mixed-race Japanese, Creole, Dominican, and European woman, Aiko has proudly championed her diverse roots throughout her accomplished career. The R&B singer is a six-time Grammy-nominated artist and is well respected within the industry for her philanthropic endeavors. She launched the WAYS foundation in 2017, an organization dedicated to helping cancer patients and their families.

Steve Aoki

Steve Aoki is hardly a newcomer to the EDM scene, but as one of the most prominent DJs in the industry, and one of the biggest Japanese DJs ever, it would be a crime to leave him off this list. Aoki even has his own record label and, in 2016, Netflix released I'll Sleep When I'm Dead, a documentary about his career.

Karen O

As the lead singer for the rock band Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Karen O has solidified her spot as a rock music legend. Not only is the Korean-American singer's discography with the band a must-listen for any rock music fan, but her 2019 album with Danger Mouse, Lux Prima, earned her a Grammy nomination for Best Rock Performance.

H.E.R.

Hailing from the San Francisco Bay Area, H.E.R. (aka Gabi Wilson) has become one of the most prominent names in R&B. At just 23 years old, the singer-songwriter already has four Grammy wins and 13 nominations. Along the way, she's never shied away from praising her Filipino mother and Black father, Agnes and Kenny Wilson, for giving her the unique perspectives that propelled her musical success.

Toro Y Moi

Toro Y Moi is actually one person (Chaz Bear) and he's become the unofficial king of chillwave. Born to a Filipino mother, the South Carolina native later relocated to California to further his music career. If you need some chill vibes on your playlist, Bear's got you covered.

Ruby Ibarra

Ibarra is a Filipino-American rapper from San Lorenzo, California who also dabbles in spoken word poetry. Her music is meaningful in more ways than one. A number of her songs touch upon her experience as an Asian American woman. In April 2021, she released a powerful song and video called "Gold" with Ella Jay Basco, which exposed the harmful effects of the skin whitening industry.

Ella Jay Basco

You may recognize Basco from her appearance in Birds of Prey, but her music is not to be slept on because it's making major waves. Her song "Gold" with Ruby Ibarra highlights her Filipino heritage. As she told People, "From top to bottom, we wanted to make sure that our Asian-American community was represented with this project."

Mitski

Meet your new favorite alt-rock queen. Mitski's dreamy melodies appeal to the indie-rock crowd more than anything, and, if you're a sucker for a sad bop, this Japanese-American songstress has plenty of those stacked up.

Yaeji

Yaeji was born in Flushing, Queens in 1993 and grew up between the U.S. and Korea. Since she moved around so much as a kid, she found friendship on the internet, where she first connected with the bossa nova, jazz, and Korean indie music that drove much of the Korean DIY scene. She soon returned to the States to attend college, where she discovered a love for producing and DJing. Now, she meticulously blends hip-hop elements with her house-driven sound for a listening experience that is unlike anything else.

Hayley Kiyoko

Kiyoko has been given the nickname Lesbian Jesus since she’s so outspoken about LGBTQ+ representation in the music industry. The Japanese-American singer is a true trailblazer and her pop music genius has landed her hits with Kehlani, MAX, and AJR.

Jay Park

Park is an industry heavyweight. The Seattle native got his start in the K-pop industry as part of the band 2PM, but he went solo in 2009. Today, not only does the star have dozens of hits under his belt, but he has two record labels of his own that specialize in R&B and hip-hop music: AOMG and H1ghr. Park uses his superstar status to give others the spotlight, and he's put his support behind other artists like GOT7's JAY B and Yugyeom, and Raz Simone. Whether you're a self-proclaimed K-pop stan, or you're just recently getting acquainted with the genre, Park's discography is required listening.

Jin Au-Yeung

Born and raised in North Miami Beach, Florida, the Chinese-American rapper, aka MC Jin, has some seriously impressive accolades under his belt. After becoming popular among his musical peers for his epic freestyles, he was signed to Ruff Ryders in 2002 at just 19 years old, becoming the first Asian American solo rapper to be signed to a major record label in the U.S. He's since parted ways with the label and now travels back and forth between the U.S. and Hong Kong, seeing success in both places. In May 2021, the rapper released a single called "Stop the Hatred" with Wyclef Jean to raise awareness about hate crimes toward Asian Americans amid the coronavirus pandemic.

Olivia Rodrigo

Rodrigo needs no introduction, but I'll do it anyway: This Filipino-American actress-turned-singer-songwriter's mega-hit debut single "drivers license" was unavoidable in January 2021. Its heartbreakingly relatable lyrics about a crush moving on with someone else struck listeners to their core and immediately soared to No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100. It also went viral on TikTok, before making its way into a Saturday Night Live sketch. Rodrigo's songwriting skills have fans likening her to industry heavyweights like Taylor Swift, so it's no surprise her debut album, Sour, is one of the most highly-anticipated albums of summer 2021.

Run River North

Run River North is not just one musician, but three. The band formerly known as Monsters Calling Home is an indie rock band from Los Angeles. The group has an eclectic sound that draws inspiration from each member: Daniel Chae, Alex Hwang, and Sally Kang.

ZHU

When ZHU first entered the electronic music scene, he used an alias and remained anonymous. By 2014, the artist also known as Steven Zhu was ready to share his identity with the world. ZHU got his start in San Francisco, California, but has made his mark on the EDM scene globally.

Darren Criss

Criss rose to fame starring on the television series Glee and he's since proven himself to be a true triple threat. His work can be seen across TV, film, and music. In September of 2018, Criss became the first Filipino-American to win an Emmy in the lead actor category for his portrayal of Andrew Cunanan in FX's The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story. He’s also got several full-fledged EPs under his belt.

Amber Liu

Amber Liu (also known mononymously as Amber) is of Taiwanese descent and grew up in Los Angeles. She made a big splash when debuting as a member of the K-pop girl group f(x) in September 2009, but has since gone solo. Her 2019 solo track "Other People" racked up millions of streams, and she’s gearing up to drop her first album of 2021, called y?, very soon. In the meantime, she’s continuing to grow her superstar following on social media, where she has 5 million Instagram followers and over 2.3 million on Twitter.

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[popculturebuffet]

Darkwing Duck Reviews: Darkly Dawns the Duck Pts 1 and 2

It’s a Darkwing Double Feature! Just in time for his ducktales special, I take a look at the introduction of everyone’s favorite Daring Duck of Mystery. In his daring debut we meet Darkwing Duck, an egositical and attention hungry superhero who soon finds himself having to look after a feisty orphan to keep her from getting nabbed by local kingpin of crime Taurus Bulba with the help of his biggest fan. Darkwing owns the night under the cut with decades old spoilers. 

Let’s Get Dangerous.. is tommorow so with that in mind i’m doing a darkwing double feature to refresh myself before the big special. So i’ll be covering both the original series pilot “Darkly Dawns the Duck” and the ducktales reboot episode “The Duck Knight Returns”.  Let’s Get Dangerous Itself because I was so wiped yesterday I didn’t get the other review done and unexpectly got acess to the new episode way earlier than usual so i’d rather focus on that. Got it? Good. Let’s continue past me. 

As usual with a new show a breif bit about my history with it: I watched it years ago, as a friend of mine lent me the first two discs of the season 1 dvd and never found the third one nor asked for them back, nor cared I had them. I thoughtly enjoyed it, had a great time and then it took me a decade or so to actually watch the series again due to a combination of being too stubborn to just buy the season 1 dvd again, a very darkwing move of me in hindsight, and then when disney plus meant I had all episodes at my finger tips I.. sat on them till now.. though to be fair i’ve sat on a LOT of great shows on there including the mandalorian, gargoyles and boy meets world. I have a bad tendency to procastinate, the fact this is coming out so late in the day should be a giveaway. I did read about half of volume 1 of the comic and all of volume 2, so there’s that at least.  Point is this new episode finally made me decide to get off my ass and watch darkwing once again, starting with the pilot and the episodes related to the fearsome four to be ready for tomorrow to see what the differences are (Thoguh I did remember bushroot vividly, so I had that at least).  Something to note before I get started talking about the pilot itself though, is the episode order for Darkwing Duck is a Darkwing Clusterfuck. Now I do understand WHY they aired this way: While some episodes do logically take place after other episodes, you can reasonably pop on just about any darkwing and watch it and enjoy it with minimal need to know what happened in previous episodes, kinda like batman the animated series oddly enough. It was also aired between two networks so on some level I get disney’s confusion here.. but on the other hand it’d take ten minutes, they clearly can call up the creator easily as Tad Stones made a cameo in ducktales 2017 we’ll get to so they could easily get a better order from the creator himself, so they really don’t have an excuse for this, or for slapping the pilot in the middle of season 1. Then again both ducktales 2017 and x-men the animated series were sort of a mess order wise when first put up, so not giving a shit about where episodes are placed for re-watching clearly is a pastime of theirs. 

Now i’ve got that out of my system we can dive into the episode itself and a breif plot synopsis. Darkwing Duck is the superhero protector of St. Canard, a masked vigiliante who takes out crime but wishes he actually got fame and credit for his work. Kind of like Booster Gold but without taking endorsments or as far as we know coming from the future. He also has nothing else as shown by the fact he fights crime, does a training regimine to prepare his breakfast that’s a delight to watch then prepares to sleep. It’s an intresting concept, a hero who HAD a civlian identity once, as the rest of the series would play out, he just no longer needs it. And it’s also ahead of it’s time as batman would explore this idea both seriously with bruce wayne murderer and comedically and seriously with the lego batman movie LONG after this series aired, meaning the writers here figured out what many probably knew about batman and put it into their parody version: Batman is the real identity and Bruce is the mask. Batman only keeps his old self because the bruce id is useful to him: It keeps people away from his company, puts up a playboy facade that draws attention away from him being batman, and allows him to do various charities and what not and help honor his parents in a way that dosen’t involve swooping in and kicking people in the throat. And as seen with bruce wayne murderer when the option to throw bruce away for good came up Batman gladly took it.  This is the same idea: Drake Mallard ONLY cares about crime fighting, has no friends no family, we never do find out jack about his family hopefully if there’s a full reboot series Frank and Matt fix it for their version. He has nothing, and is fine with that. He hasn’t really had a reason to care about anything else than his own glory and works alone not because it’s less efficent but because his oversized ego means he dosen’t want to share credit. IT’s an intresting start and his ego would be a defining bit of who he is and used intrestingly int he reboot but we’ll get to that there. 

His life changes forever though when local crime boss Taurus Bulba unleashes his latest scheme: To steal the Ramrod, a gravity manipulating device created by the late Dr. Quackmeyer.. late because Bulba’s men killed him and were dumb enough not to get the arming code for the ramrod first a year ago. Bulba is also behind bars but in one of my faviorite gags of the episode despite the warden’s constnat gloating, Bulba has taken the “Supervillian makes jail into a base” Or “Jail is nothing to a supervillian who can easily get out trope” to ludcrious machines. He has whole meetings with his minions, keeps the ramrod once he gets his hands on it in the laundry and has a ship SHAPED LIKE HIS FACE built into his cellblock. I’ts just so over the top it’s glorious. But yeah since Bulba can’t go after it at first he sends his three goofy minons, one played by eddie “Mandark” deezen in.. love that guy. 

THey do end up stealing the ramrod thanks to the help of bulba’s cool, non-anthromporhic condor who he uses as his right hand man and as his link to his minons via a small tv aroudn it’s neck. That.. is awesome. Darkwing spots the condor but fails to stop the three stooges or the condor and gets unknowingly blamed for the robbery..and stopped to get glamor shots not realizing the guy thought he was a criminla which.. fair enough. It is a shadowy disguise after all. 

Darkwing ends up grabbing onto the vulture sonic 3 style, but ends up falling off him into a hangar where we meet the original version of Launchpad McQuack, whose apparently quit working for scrooge and has his own hangar now though it wouldn’t be a stretch that scrooge bought it for him.. he does , stingy as he is, appricate hard work and launchpad wanting to start his own buisness and while hte planes were probably all on launchpad, Scrooge would gladly buy a run down buliding for a loyal friend who wants to put in some hard honest work. Plus it’s a free place to store any vehicles he has in the st canard area.. I mean it’s still scrooge. And yes I know the whole “Tad stones said they aren’t the same universe” non sense. I do have the utmost respect for the guy and he seems really, nice but I don’ tlike that, no one likes that and both the comics and the current duckverse with the ducktales reboot entirely ignore that for good reason.While the two shows are diffrent in tone they stil lfit and it’s not a stretch for launchpad to want to spread his wings or failing that scrooge to help push him out of the nest and give him his own buisness or one of scrooge’s to run. 

But while Launchpad does help DW with a propeller plane they fail and while launchpad offers to be his sidekick, DW gives him the old I work alone bit.  However him being alone won’t last for long as Bulba still needs that arming code and since his only lead is Waddlemeyer’s grandaughter who grew up in his lab, he sends his buffonish minons to go get him. Why he never sends his lone female minon with them is because it’s funnier if she dosen’t I guess. Which it is so fair enough.  So thus we enter Goslyn, who the head of the orphanage is fed up with due to her antics. Goslyn is played as most of you knwo by christine cavanagh.. I honestly forgot and it still throws me off a bit she’s using what would later be her chucky finster voice for a character so completely diffrent. Granted it’s not unusual in voice acting, just weird here and only for me personally having grown up with rugrats but not darkwing. The orphanage head is a bit less jarring as she’s played by Marcia Wallace, aka Edna Krabable from the simpsons but A) that show was already running at this point and B), the character is basically a nicer version of edna versus chuckies voice coming out of a tiny if immensly fun to watch hellion. I do like goslyn, sh’es a fun character even in her shadier moments, it’s just something i’d forgotten about i’ll need to get used to is all. 

Bulba’s hired goons come in claming ot be friends of her grandpas and we actually get some really heartwrenching context for Gos’ behavior: While she does act out she actually LIKES THE orphanage.. ti’s just her friends keep getting adopted while no one wants someone “full of spirit”. It’s heartwrecnhing to hear.. and only gets worse when the goons try and kidnap her.  Thankfully Darkwing.. also kidnaps her, but he kindaps her from kidnappers and while Goslyn naturally takes a second to realize he’s the good guy them shooting at him clues her in. Darkwing, in a rare for the series as a whole moment of reason and not wanting to just power though something himself TRIES to do the responsible thing and leave gos with the police where she’ll be protected.. but given they think he’s a wanted criminal they shoot at him.. and the small child in his motorcycle. Yup that’s the police alright. 

So with no other options Darkwing takes gos home, hyjinks insue including her activintg the breakfast thing. But the two genuinely start to bond. While Darkwing dosen’t WANT to keep her around, the whole not wanting connections thing, it’s clear he’s growing fond of the little snot as she holds her own with his trianing course, they have a tickle fight and in the sweetest moment of the episode the two sing little girl blue, a song her grandfather used to sing her to sleep that she teaches darkwing. It’s an utterly heartmelting bit and Cummings and Cavanagh really sell the hell out of it. It also however turns out ot be plot relevant: Turns out just in case Dr. Waddlemeyer hid the code for the ramrod in the song, and when Darkwing sees a photo Goslyn got from bulba’s goons, he realizes this and realizes that depsite thinking she didn’t know it Goslyn had it all along.. and that as long as h’es around she won’t know.  Bulba is naturally livid at his minons failure and decides now’s the time to take this into his own hands and while he actually liked the prison hq setup, as it did make sense as it was the perfect cover and the warden was too full of himself to realize Bulba was still active and too convinced the bull was beaten down when he clearly wasn’t, but instead as mentioned above awesomely converts his cellblock into a flying ship in the shape of his own head.  Bulba.. is a great villian and I only think the show didn’t use him more because he’s a dead serious, deadly dangerous villian in an otherwise goofy but fun superhero parody show. The show later gained Negaduck, so they had a more dangerous threat for darkwing that fit the show’s tone better while still being utterly terrifying, and likely simply didn’t need him till the idea for the steerminator came up. But I love the guy: he reminds me a lot of the kingpin, a threatning villian who uses his sheer size to beat our hero down, is cool and suave and is an utter mastermind at planning. He also wears a nice suit.  And naturlaly he has a plan to take out darkwing since despite the two never having met, as Darkwing disparages when Goslyn assumes their lifelong mortal enmies like in the comics, they know of each other.. and thus bulba knows exactly what trap to spring to get him out of the way and goslyn into his ship: He flashes a message in morris code that he wants to surrender to Darkwing while stroking his ego a LOT. And it works... while i’ts an obvious trap Darkwing’s so full of himself he goes despite Goslyn telling him it’s very obviously a trap.  Naturally everything goes pear shaped as a result: Bulba shows up, revealing gos not only to be right but easily pummling Darkwing. Which makes sense: While Darkwing is a vetran crime fighter and secret agent, Bulba’s been at being a villian longer clearly as he’s built up enough of a rep both for Darkwing to know him out of hand and for the warden to be proud capturing him. Given what univese this is, it probably isn’t Bulba’s first round with a superhero and given at this stage St Canard only has one.. yeah Darkwing is outclasssed and the police grab him while Bulba scarpers. And while Gos puts up a good fight using the trianing course, Bulba’s vulture gets her. Bulba has everything he needs.  Darkwing meanwhile actually bemoans what a dick he’s been, that the first person he’s cared about besides himself in possibly ever is now in the hands of a murderous mastermind, and that he’s stuck in jail with no one to call on for help. Thankfully.. help arrives.. and by help I mean launchpad backing the ratcatcher, Darkwing’s bike, into the prisoin. He DID come just to bail DW out despite his earlier jerkishness, but backed in and Darkwing not beliving superheroes have time for paperwork, decides to just bust out. And to be ifair int his case he’s probably right as you know, a ten year old might die if they don’t get there in time. So off they go.. but with Bulba in the air they need something with wings to catch him. ANd luckily as Launchpad mentioned earlier he’s been working on something special for darkwing.  It’s with this we enter the thunderquack, which is DW”S awesome headshaped plane. It’s just cool it’s got a nice design, goofy enough tof it the universe but cool enoguh to still be fun to watch. Darkwing has really damn cool vehicles, as the ratcatcher is also awesomely iconic. But yeah the thunderquack impresses darkwing and rightfully so and he decides to make LP his sidekick afterall.  So now our heroes fly into the danger zone and attack bulba’s airship with Darkwing landing on the bow and a scuffle insues with darkwing and hte minons.. who use actual guns which for a 90′s kids show is  a suprise, especially one this intentioanlly goofy, but boy is it nice. However Bulba, being awesomely evil, isn’t dumb and instead of fighting darkwing, which he could win but would win him nothing and having gotten nothing out of goslyn, figures the hero might know the code.. and while Darkwing lies and says he dosen’t, Bulba points out .. he’s right.. but he’s always been a gambling man and has his condor drop goslyn to lure drake into telling him , with DW putting in the code and bulba testing it with a bank robbery.. before predictably having his condor drop the girl because he no longer needs her. Thankfully launchpad catches her in time and then they get revenge on the condor with the thunderquack BITING IT.. which is awesome. Hopefully the reboot version does that. 

Darkwing meanwhile saves the day, his new daughter and the city by simply sneaking over to the ramrod and mashign the keys till it overloads, silly, but undeniably awesome and effective. Bulba TRIES to finish off darkwing this time for foiling his plan.. btu the ramrod explodes and while bulba’s minons and goslyn and launchpad are safe... bulba and darkwing are apparently dead and it’s effective.  A few weeks later Goslyn’s back at the orphanage utterly distraught and broken at being basically orphaned again. Naturally though Darkwing’s alive, having taken his old identnity back since now he has something worth using it for and adopts her, hinting at who he is so she goes with him. And Drake has changed.. sure he’ll still be as egostical and impuslive as he was here.. but he’s no longer just darkwing.. he’s drake again as he has someone worth fighting for.. two someones in fact. He has a friend, a loyal partner to help him fight cime. And more importantly.. he has a loving daughter. And both needed each other: Goslyn needed someone who understood her despite her manic energy, and Drake needed someone who needed him and not darkwing, a reason to be a person outside the cape and cowl and outside the attention again. He needed a reason to live again... and he’s got it. And it’s going to be great. 

Final Thoughts: This pilot is excellent. Well paced, plenty of laughs, tense action and great introductions for everyone involved as well as a hell of a vilian> This is how you do a first episode: it introduces the main themes of the show, both comedically and dramatically, introduces the cast and gives us a one off , or rather two off it’d turn out, villian whose compelling and intresting. IT’s really damn good stuff and I can’t wait ot see what frank does with a simlar story tommorow. Until then, stay safe, and happy hallowen. We’ll be back shortly for The Duck Knight returns and then Let’s Get Dangerous tommorow. 

[elecman108]

Man, I forgot to post 90% of my art here for the past while. I’m gonna do an art dump in this post under the cut. Enjoy the bonk emoji if you don’t click the read more, and man am I dumb and forgetful lmao.

Includes: OCs getting names, a Sonic impression, a D&D map, homosexual energies, a sheep floating in the astral sea, a birthday drawing I already posted, Hex Maniac Ender, D&D Characters, D&D Characters as Miis in Miitopia, Little Hater Axel, local Demon in the consciousness of my D&D character yelling at him, illegal plants, a necromancer being cute, an actual event that happened in a D&D game two days ago, and Mermay drawing.

That’s everything in here as a TL;DR, I guess. Enjoy your day!

I’m gonna try and sort of have them in chronological order, oldest first, but I may end up putting them in the wrong order. If I do... Whoops, I guess?

[04/14/21] - This isn’t really new art, but I started to work on giving the four OCs of mine without a full name full names... I have not finished this bit, though. So Hunter and Akira have full names, and Warlock and Assassin only have temporary names. This may end up like Seven where I put in their names as a temporary name (7th OC I’d made at that time) and it just kind of... sticks. Lmao.

[04/20/21] - Alone on a Friday Night? God, you’re pathetic. I didn’t colour this one because it was a half-attempt at a meme image I still like it, though, so I might end up colouring it. It’s gonna appear again whenever I do my “unfinished drawings art dump” at some point probably in... June? I know I said I’d post them last month but forget it, lmao, it’ll happen eventually.

[04/20/21] - A D&D Map! This was to help me visualize the layout of my D&D character’s ship he used to be on. Also for my DM if they ever put us aboard the ship. The little fella in the corner is just there to vibe. This map is made of free to use assets from This Website, so while I’m gonna say DONT USE MY MAP WITHOUT PERMISSION, feel free to make your own!

[04/26/21] - Lesbian Day of Visibility drawing of yours truly, the disapointment! That’s... really all I have to say about this, honestly. It was just for that one day and that was it, lmao. I mean, I accidentally lined it in dark pink, so.. .That’s different, I guess?

[04/30/21] - Do Astral Seas dream of Ensorcled Sheep? Does the City know what Sheepleb is going to do? What crimes he may commit? Who knows! This was fan art of Critical Role ep. 134 if I remember correctly, right at the end when they jumped into the portal into the astral sea and Caleb was a sheep. Using my knowledge of the German language, I knew the word for “shit”, and had to use it.

[05/07/21] - This was already posted, but it’s going in here to dilinuate that it was drawn at this point. Also, aside from playing Miitopia, this is all I have to show for myself until the 12th.

[05/12/21] - Hex Maniac Ender challenges you to a Pokemon Battle! WIll you win against my team? My sis, who loves fairy types, pointed out to me that there’s a fairy girl and hex maniac duo, so I’d be the hex maniac. I spent... Over a week drawing this, because I basically had to redraw the Hex Maniac art from scratch in a higher quality size, and then draw myself over it. So... You can excuse the low-effort background for once. It was basically this, and then my birthday doodle from May 1st to May 12th, and then I took a break to draw up several D&D characters quickly for fullbody references.

[05/12/21] - Remember this art I made several months ago? I finally added my other two completed characters! I have three more named but without character sheet D&D characters, so for now this is just Kara, Axel, Golden Shadow, Kau, Cecillia, and Miri. Kress, Tempest, and Melia will have to wait until I make character sheets for them to be posted, and... For when I probably make more D&D characters. I have at least 9 additional, incomplete character ideas floating around, so... I’m never gonna be done this art, huh?

[05/12/21] - Speaking of D&D characters, did you know I’ve been making them as Miis in Miitopia? So here is their finished full body art next to their Miitopia self! Some of them look a little off (Golden Shadow, Cecillia) because of limitations of the editor and shading issues, some of them look a little off (Kau, Kress) because this is a human face canvas that I’m using to make a non-human face, and some of them (Melia, Axel) look REALLY GOOD. Common traits among my D&D characters include green eyes and tall. You wanna know why? Because I am tall and... despite having red eyes, I do have green eyes under the coloured contacts.

[05/15/21] - More D&D stuff! This is based around my D&D group’s current Rime of the Frostmaiden campaign where our Goliath Fighter, Nioh, ends up getting a little bit of hate for being cocky, and our little (well over 6′) hater, Axel, is just a man full of irritation. These are the tallest two characters of the group at the moment. Someone send help. Nioh belongs to one of the other D&D players, Axel (and his stupid additude) belongs to me.

[05/15/21] - This is what me playing D&D feels like. Me, the demon entity trapped inside the head of my D&D character, yelling at them to do things while the dice decide that they’re gonna get bopped a hundred times by a yeti and somehow still survive. This is also a reference to our first or second game where I just ran off like sixty feet to one side of the battle map to fight a Crag Cat and was just in Gay Baby Jail until like two turns later when I could run back to the others. I also drew him not in his winter gear even though this is a bit from when we were atop Kelvin’s Carin in an icy cave, so maybe that’s why he’s at low HP.

[05/15/21] - Melia has good gardening tips, such as Use A Mars Mii Trap To Hide A Body Because They Are Endangered And It Is Illegal To Dig Them Up. I love her a lot, because she’s the youngest of four, all four sisters based around the different seasons. She’s based around Autumn, so she’s all orange and yellow and brown and is so cute. Also she’s Chaotic Neutral, as if she didn’t need to be mildly more threatening.

[05/15/21] - Cecillia is my Tiefling gal who lived in a very northern town plagued by cold weather and snow, and Axel is my Pirate guy who spent most of his time further south on the high seas and warmer weather. So, naturally... I’ll use the guy more acclimatized to the hotter weather in the campaign where we spend 99% of it in the snow. She uses Tarot Cards as her spell focus, and I decided to sneak my other D&D characters onto her Tarot cards so naturally, Axel is The Hanged Man, given his backstory and personality. She’s a very cheerful and friendly Tiefling Necromancer of the Hexblade, so she’d for sure take care of those around her to ensure their success. Especially if they’re on her Tarot Cards, and their spirit comes to her aid when she asks for them.

[05/16/21] - Content Warning; Ryma thinks too much into local stupid moron’s lack of knowing how to answer a question and thinks too much into the reputation of Pirates. Poor Axel, man doesn’t know how to socialize with people who aren’t pirates and is used to being hostile towards everyone, so when he’s asked a question that his answer to is “uhh... no?”, he panics and ends up making a mistake that leads him to think that Ryma can read his mind. Ryma belongs to another of the D&D players. I guess me drawing all those spicy Cow Costumed OCs earlier just brought me to drawing Axel being a bottom in this, huh?

[05/16/21] - It’s Mermay, which means more OC drawings! Here’s Theo after drinking some potion that turned him into a mermaid, and Seven, tiredly, collecting his stupid boyfriend so that Lailah can fix the fact he’s turned into a mermaid. Mer!Theo is based around his sword’s colours of indigo-purple with red accents, which looks a little weird since Theo is the Blue one of the group, but... it looks cool, I guess. Seven’s just the same outfit as always, just no gloves this time.

--

And that’s it for the art dump! This was, frankly, MASSIVE. I’ll try and remember to upload both on Twitter and Tumblr at the same time, but... Ah... I have been drawing a fair bit. Just mostly sketches and linework that I haven’t finished and may not actually finish. If they’re not completed, I’ll dump them all into something at the end of the month or whatever. Maybe you’ll get the old sketch of the Axel face in panel 3 because in the sketch phase it was an Ahegao face, in the clean sketch it was a lip bite, and in the linework and final it’s just horny face. lmao.

Top ten things I have to remember for drawing: AXEL HAS A SCAR AND GREEN EYES. I remember his eye colour now, but if you look at his fullbody ref, he’s got brown eyes. And, naturally, I keep forgetting to put in his scar. He has more, but most of them are located in areas covered by his clothes. So if I ever draw him shirtless I guess I’ll have to place them somewhere.

Also maybe finish the reference sheets I have left to finish so I can post more of them, since I have two “Pets” completed (Roko and Mona’s nameless pet), but I have to do up Hunter, Warlock, Assassin, Akira, Myuut, and Stella. I’m betting when I do complete two more, it’ll be Hunter and Akira. Those two are the most fun to draw, at least.

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #9- Cops is Filmed on Location With the Mechs of Law Enforcement

It’s time for some gotdang origin stories, y’all.

Back before the war, when Functionist ideology was really just rocking the scene hardcore, Nightbeat stood outside of Maccadam’s New Oil House and had a chat with Quark.

No, not that Quark, the other one.

Quark’s reading an article at Nightbeat’s request about an attack on something called a relinquishment clinic, by a member of the Decepticons. Quark’s not a huge fan of the Decepticons, because he’s got a good thing going on Functionist Cybertron as a rare proton microscope, and even if things aren’t perfect, they’re pretty okay for him personally. At least he’s aware of his privilege.

Don’t be so quick to judge, Quark. Some Decepticons are into microscopes.

He’s pretty convinced that if the Decepticons get their way, they’re going to murder anyone who’s never handled a shovel. This is the same sort of misconception a lot of people have about the phrase “eat the rich”- it’s more about those who benefit from the social structure by way of oppressing others as opposed to those who flourish within it by their own work ethic and talents.

Granted, we as the reader know that shit is absolutely going to go sideways for everyone once the war kicks off, but Quark as it currently stands shouldn’t be nearly as worried as he is. He thinks Rung of all people is a threat, so you can tell he’s really feeling the paranoia of the times.

Hi Rung! Hope you’re enjoying your you-time. It’s important to have that, good for mental health.

The conspiracy convo gets cut short as Quark’s drink gets dripped in.

I mean, it’s all the same stuff, right? He could probably still drink it. Waste not, want not.

In the present day, we set up our framing device, with all of our friends welcoming Ratchet into the fray, as he shows off the fact that he finally color-matched his hands to the rest of his body.

Here’s a little joke for you: a spiritualist, two doctors, an archivist, a sentient marshmallow, a victim of ritualistic mutilation, and the hottest guy on the ship watch a third doctor walk into a bar.

Gentlemen, please, I haven’t even gotten to the punchline yet.

Anyway, Rewind’s set up this little hang sesh for medicinal purposes, after consulting Chromedome on the nature of the brain.

Rung’s looking a lot better than the last time we saw him, in that he’s got a head again, but he’s not really… functional right now. Hence this little meet up- everyone here has had their paths cross many times in the past, whether they realized it or not.

Except Tailgate, who took a six million year dirt-nap. He’s just here for shits and giggles.

And Swerve, but it’s his bar, and he’s lonely, so of course he’s going to stick around for this.

Anyway, those assembled will be taking turns in telling the story they all played a part in, in an attempt to kick-start Rung’s brain back into letting him do literally anything. Thanks to his obscenely large collection of historical documents and footage, Rewind more or less knows the structure the story will take- as shown by his conspiracy bulletin board that maps out everything that will be covered in the Shadowplay arc. The central pin in all this? Well, it’s Transformers, and it’s been a hot minute since we’ve seen the face of the franchise, so you tell me who it’s going to be.

Rewind sets the scene, giving everyone the skinny on the setting we’ll be in for the next little bit.

Way to see the silver lining, Swerve.

Chromedome starts the story off, because he’s a main character in all this, and also if you think Rewind would pass up the chance to listen to this capital-T-shaped dweeb talk, you’re deluding yourself.

In the past Chromedome worked mechaforensics- y’know, forensics for mecha- under a different name, which we will not be learning at this current time because it’ll muddle the already-convoluted narrative we’re about to get going here. Chromedome had the displeasure of working alongside then-desk jockey, Prowl.

Awful geared up for a desk jockey, ain’t he?

Yep. Chromedome used to be a cop, he partnered up with Prowl, he looked even more like a koala than he does now, and he was on the case of the assassinated Senator Sherma. What they don’t tell you is that if Sherma had turned out to have survived the ordeal of being strung up from a bridge upside-down, he would have been charged with food and health code violations for that little stunt he pulled on Quark’s drink.

Skids breaks the narrative flow to get the low-down on Prowl’s whole deal, because he doesn’t know who that is. Swerve breaks it down real quick, while Rewind provides visual aid.

A for effort.

The boys get a little distracted discussing Prowl’s anger management practices, until Drift asks that they move on, because Rodimus is sending him insulting messages on his tiny and paper thin comm because he can’t handle being ignored by his #1 fan. It’s just as well though, because it’s Drift’s turn to spin the yarn.

So, once upon a time, Drift wasn’t doing so hot. It wasn’t the whole “I’m a murderous Decepticon” thing- that was later on- but rather a horrific drug addiction, sense of self-loathing and being homeless. On the day of Sherma’s assassination, Drift was so out of his gourd on circuit speeders, he didn’t even register the fact that he was approached by a pair of robots and promptly beaten by the two of them for money.

Things looks bad for poor Drift, but not to worry, because the main reason for this arc existing just showed up.

There he is, in all his pin-up art glory.

Orion Pax, the mech who would become Optimus Prime, proceeds to arrest Sonic and Boom- yeah, it’s the two guys from Delphi, we aren’t wasting the brain power on creating two new characters for this one scene, that’s crazy talk- and then calls for a bus to keep Drift from biting it due to drug overdose.

Listen to the professionals, folks. They know more than you about the shit that can kill you. It’s why they get paid the big bucks.

(I have no idea what Ratchet’s salary is like.)

Drift is taken to Ratchet’s super-secret, please-don’t-tell-the-Senate-about-this clinic in the Dead End, where we get a taste of Drift riffing on Ratchet in the present, as he paints a picture of a spiritual young doctor who actively and loudly praises Adaptus as he works on a ODing patient. The Ratchet of the here and now doesn’t appreciate this twisting of the truth, and makes it known by smearing his still-wet hand paint all over Drift’s face.

Shane McCarthy slipped James Roberts a twenty to set up a slowburn between his OC and Ratchet back in issue #4. Here, Roberts tends to the seeds of their shared past that were planted in the Delphi arc.  

Drift didn’t take Ratchet’s advice back then, something that is and will continue to be a running issue for the two of them, and the sudden downshift in tone lets Tailgate ask about just what in the sam hill a relinquishment clinic is. Chromedome fills him in, Rewind providing visuals.

A relinquishment clinic was a place where a Transformer could sell their body- not in a sex-work way, but literally, as you let someone else have their spark planted into your vacated frame for a short period of time, just to try out different modes and looks. It was expensive, and only used to get around the fact that only the most elite of cybertronians could alter their bodies, because only they had enough influence to have the Functionist Senate look the other way. Ratchet never approved of the practice, and this is where he takes over the story.

Too bad we don’t get to see what all that’s about just yet, because there are more pressing matters at hand, like the fact that Nominus Prime is dead.

Seems like there’s a conspiracy at hand, and Orion is considering introducing Ratchet to a friend on the inside- and in the present time, Drift leaves to go meet with Rodimus so he’ll stop being a pest. Chromedome picks his story thread back up, bringing us to Prowl’s requested autopsy.

The boys in the lab broke Sherma down to his base parts, labeled each part, and laid them out on the floor in no discernible order. Maybe it’s based on the Cybertronian alphabet. I suppose we’ll never know.

The autopsy revealed that Sherma was shot several times, which we’d already managed to suss out at the scene of the crime, without getting half the forensics team involved, but we did get a little something for our troubles.

More evidence for Rodimus’ Uggs.

No, I’m never letting this go, don’t even bother asking.

The kind of glass that they found is only found in one specific area of Iacon, known as Translucentica Heights, and how about that! Prowl just so happens to have a search warrant for Translucentica Heights. Wow. Way to go, Prowl.

Meanwhile, Ratchet and Orion are hanging out at the monument for the Ark-1, which is the ship that fucked off into space and got eaten by the Dead Universe. Cyclonus remembers. I bet he kind of wishes that he didn’t, but he remembers.

Orion’s very good friend the Senator shows up, and Orion introduces him to Ratchet. The Senator was first introduced in Chaos Theory- he’s convinced that Orion is a very special individual, and had his body altered without permission while he was passed out, so that he might one day carry the Matrix.

Orion is maybe just a touch too trusting of authority figures, unless that figure is god himself.

Ratchet helps create a visage of not-plotting, as Orion and the Senator discuss whether or not Nominus was assassinated by the Senate. Dear Senator says “fuck yeah he was” and it was in no small part due to the fact that the Matrix he was carrying was a fake.

There’s also something that’s going on between Sentinel and the Decepticons, which leads Orion to ask about Megatron and how he’s doing. He’d probably be doing a hell of a lot better if you hadn’t given the Senate that he directly opposes his full name and occupation, Orion, but it’s sweet that you’re worried.

Back with the wonder cops, Chromedome and Prowl are shooting across the sky to the tune of Shooting Star as they make their way over to Translucentica Heights. They discuss the validity of claims that the Institute exists as they make their way over to Sherma’s apartment building, when someone gets thrown out the window from roughly 4000 stories up.

Trailbreaker was right, Fort Max having guns in his legs doesn’t make him special, if these losers are doing it too.

In the present, Drift’s finally caught up with Rodimus in the oil reservoir, where he’s coaxing Grapple like a wounded baby deer through pulling something out of the muck.

It’s Red Alert, and he’s seen better days.

I mean, sure, that seems like the most likely option, seeing as he’s the only non-Autobot aboard this giant stupid ship, and you haven’t done anything to actually gather evidence on what’s happened to our pal here. It makes sense for the knee-jerk reaction to be to blame the dude who blew up Kimia.

We’ll see where that line of thought gets us next issue.

[alison-anonymous]

flawsome bandits pt. 8 ♡ sonic

Flawsome Revivals

Very important note that I would love for all of you to read at the end ♡

Warnings - much angst! Mention of death, FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF

♡♡♡   

This couldn’t be happening. It was insane how Y/n’s worst fear was something tangible. Something that she could feel as she pressed her fingers against Sonic’s slowing pulse. 

She was losing him… again.

Because she was a coward.

The tears refused to stop. Even when a crowd of concerned Green Hill citizens began to abandon their late night dinners and see why this glowing ice blue hedgehog was crying over another one that they could only identify as Crazy Carl’s Blue Devil.  Even when Tom and Maddie finally made it back to the scene and felt their own hearts begin breaking as they watched their daughter begin to sob over Sonic’s body. Even when the Egghead responsible for all of this began to make his dramatic descent out of the portal and took a moment to bask in the glory of their defeat. Her tears dripped onto Sonic’s fur as he tried his best to work his way out of unconsciousness, to let his crush know that he was alright, but his limbs felt like jello.

“P-please, Sonic…” Y/n sniffled. “Ge-get up…”

“Well, looky here! Bonnie lost her Clyde, oh, the humanity!” He let out his signature evil chuckle, raising his goggles on to his forehead. “You are such astonishing creatures, aren’t you?” On the ground before him, Tom caught sight of the bag of golden rings. He slyly picked them up and kept a close eye on the scene taking place before him as Y/n slowly raised her head up from Sonic to stare at the evil man in the drone. 

The tears continued to stream endlessly down her face as her gaze hardened.

“It’ll be amazing to take you back to the lab to perform some exploratory procedures. Any last words, Bonnie? Clyde?” He waited for a moment as the ice blue hedgehog’s grip on Sonic’s side tightened. 

“Go. To. Hell.” Y/n snarled, somehow managing not to choke on her tears. Her e/c irises began to glow a mystical blue as her emotions began to take a toll on her. Eggman’s eyes raised a little in surprise. Funny, he thought Sonic was the only one whose powers were affected by emotion. He shrugged and plopped his goggles back on. 

“I can’t tell you how many procedures have been made possible by animal testing. And how am I supposed to one-up others in my scientific discoveries if I’m in hell, hmm?” The whole time he was bragging, he didn’t notice Tom appear behind him and jump onto his drone. Y/n watched from her spot next to Sonic, putting her acting skills to the test. Tom was quick to punch Eggman in the face mid-sentence, initiating a very brave mini-battle between the two until Tom got thrown out onto the ground, groaning in pain. Watching Tom get shoved onto the pavement like that only made Y/n’s emotions grow more fierce as her body began to hum without any use of her vocal chords, an electric light blue pigment beginning to radiate off of her. 

“Why would you throw your life away for such useless things? You know, that’s why I don’t have friends.” Eggman rolled his eyes. Y/n’s eyes arched into slits, but for once she actually didn’t have to say anything as the townspeople began to gather around in an attempt to fight off the man. Apparently Tom had somehow gotten the word out already that the second hedgehog was his daughter, as even Crazy Carl was pulling out a chainsaw in order to defend the two.

“You leave those kids alone!” He revved it up.

During all of the ruckus, Y/n had been keeping one of her hands on Sonic’s neck in order to track his pulse, and her heart stopped dead once she realized… it wasn’t there anymore. Panic began to set in as she quickly turned him onto his back, shaking him roughly by the shoulders.

“Sonic? Sonic! No, no, no, no, no, no…” The tears began to spill down even faster as she shook him, every second with no response causing her heart to shatter a little more. “Please! I can’t lose you again…” 

Tom, Maddie, and the Green Hills citizens felt their own hearts break as they watched the scene unfold. Y/n’s body practically toppled on top of him as she pressed her forehead against his, her back racking with the sobs. 

Sonic… was gone.

“I don’t mean to be indelicate here, but someone should gather up a tub of ice. Keep the body fresh.” Eggman just had to chime in. His words only made Y/n cry worse, in her fit not noticing how her body began to hum the tune she usually sang. Her tears got soaked up into Sonic’s fur, in turn beginning to make his fur hum in return. Were her abilities… healing him? But how could that be possible? Could her powers be deterred due to the emotions she was going through? 

“I’m so sorry, Sonic…” She whispered, just quietly enough that he would have been able to hear. “I’m such an idiot…”

“Oh please, he was just a silly little alien! And so is she, regardless of pre-biology! They don’t belong here!” Robotnik cried out in frustration, angered that a death was getting involved in his plans to take the two and go. His insensitivity struck a flame in Tom as he turned towards the man, jaw clenched.

“Those little aliens know more about being human than you ever will. And they aren’t Bonnie and Clyde, their names are Sonic and Y/n. This is their home.” All the while he was talking, Y/n was finally finding a way to say what she had always wanted to say to him, her words coming out as soon as Tom had finished his.

“...I love you, too.”

Sonic’s eyes burst open, supercharged with energy. Electric blue bolts of lightning shot furiously out of his body, enveloping him in the light as he slowly began to rise to his feet. Y/n broke out into a tearful grin as she quickly scrambled to her feet, watching in amazement as the lightning cast brilliant blue shadows across her face, her own body becoming luminescent with her own light, the hum growing louder by the second. Through the midst of the dramatic moment, Sonic’s electrified gaze met Y/n’s luminous one, and he winked. 

Shit was about to go down.

“He’s all yours,” Tom spoke to the two, smiling thankfully as he pulled Maddie along with him to the sidelines, getting everyone to back up. Y/n turned back to her rightful side next to Sonic and they exchanged a small smile before turning back to the doctor, gazes hardening and powers maxing to the top. They saw a look cross over Eggman’s face that they hadn’t seen before as he calculated the effects of the two. They were both much more powerful than he had ever anticipated, super fueled by their emotions for one another and for the situation. One on one, he could have taken them. But combined?

Was he… intimidated?

“I think you have something that belongs to me,” Sonic spoke, forming a fist before him as it became supercharged with a clash of lightning. Y/n couldn’t help but swoon next to him, trying her best to recover from it before he noticed. Their combined electricity made Eggman’s drone begin to malfunction as he swerved in an attempt to regain control, Sonic’s bolts eating away at the control panel. 

“These are our powers, and we’re not going to use them to run away anymore,” He glanced over at Y/n for approval, who responded by grabbing onto his hand. Another clash of electricity gobbled up their physical touch as Y/n’s abilities began to merge with his, making the adrenaline go through the roof for the two. “And we’re using it to protect our friends!”

Choosing to take the silent route, Eggman slowly began to ascend, pulling on out the lasers as the tension began to increase like crazy. The lasers slowly found their way to Y/n and Sonic’s body, beginning to line up on every single spot of their electrical fur, especially near the heart. Any normal person would have ducked and ran for cover. But instead? 

They stood their ground, a slow smirk beginning to make its way across Y/n’s lips. 

Sonic gently let go of her hand as he began to get down into a runner’s formation, the lasers following his every move. Y/n squared her feet, placing her fists out before her and channeling all of her power (supercharged with Sonic’s) into her body, beginning to hum her signature tune slowly and methodically. The second that he launched his missiles, the two took off, racing and flying through the air. They had been practicing communicating without words for years and learning body cues, so the second that Y/n saw Sonic jump from the wall of a building to Eggman’s ship, she knew exactly what to do. With their combined forces, they began to pummel the ship by jumping from the walls and onto the ship and back again so quickly that they became nothing but electrical blurs in a moment, setting the whole city up with light. Robotnik did his best to take cover as the windows began to break from their impact, trying not to admit that fear was rising in his chest.

Finally, the two skidded to a stop a couple meters away from him, making quick look-overs to assure that they were alright.

“Oh, now you’ve done it!” Robotnik scoffed angrily.

“News flash, Egghead! We’re not leaving earth. You are. Star Chaser?” He looked over at his partner in crime, who flashed him a knowing smile.

“But of course! Donut Lord?” She turned to her father just as he pulled out one of the rings. He sent them a wink and threw the ring straight behind Robotnik’s ship. Robotnik fueled up his ship and launched it forward with just as much flame as his fury at the same time that Y/n and Sonic began racing towards it. In slow motion, the two began to form the position that Longclaw had taught them a very long time ago in order to use both of their powers to the fullest extent. While Sonic curled up into a ball, Y/n used her powers to float behind him, and used all of her might to give him a super charged push, sending him flying into Robotnik’s ship. As time fell back into place, Sonic burst into the nose of the ship, their combined power causing the entire drone to crumble into pieces, sending Robotnik’s screaming figure straight into the portal to Mushroom Land. The portal closed with a blinding bright light and Sonic and Y/n gradually powered down as the city erupted into applause. 

Sonic turned to his partner and gave her the cutest heartfelt smile she had ever seen, holding his arms out wide. She let out a tearful chuckle, e/c eyes returning to normal as she crashed into him, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist and burying her face into his shoulder. 

He was alive. And he was okay.

Tom and Maddie jogged their way over to the two just as they reluctantly pulled away, cheeks beginning to turn a bright red as they realized they were going to have to talk soon. 

“You did it!” Tom cheered ecstatically.

“No, WE did it,” Sonic corrected, smiling at the two. Tom held up his hand proudly, and Y/n and Sonic jumped up and had a classic Three-Musketeers-inspired high five. A huge smile spread across his lips, and in his ecstatic happy fit, he did the only thing he could think of. 

He picked Y/n up by the waist and spun her around.

Y/n was shocked at first, but gradually began to relax into it, letting out a gleeful giggle until Tom cleared his throat and they both froze, Sonic holding Y/n up and her hands resting on the top of his head. Tom raised an eyebrow and Sonic quickly set her down, sheepishly putting his hands behind his back and smiling innocently.

“Ugh, Dad,” Y/n rolled her eyes, but smirked at her father. He simply shrugged.

“Just doing what dads do, kiddo.”

♡♡♡

A few days after the showdown, Tom and Maddie were enjoying a nice, quiet Monday when a loud knock came at their front door. The couple approached the door with caution, glancing at each other skeptically. Who would be coming to their door this late in the afternoon? They swung the door open to reveal a man in a very official looking uniform holding an envelope with two men in military uniforms standing guard by his vehicle. The man gave them a warm smile, causing the skin around his eyes to wrinkle.

“Good day. Are you Mr. and Mrs. Wachowski?” He asked in a deep voice. 

“Uh, yep, that’s us,” Tom replied. The man held out the white envelope to the two.

“A token of appreciation on behalf of your keeping quiet about recent incidents that never occurred.” A bit condescending, but who were they to decline a free compensation from the government, am I right? The two chuckled in surprise, Tom taking the envelope from the man and smiling at his wife.

“Wow, wonder what it is?”

“Money to fix the house?” Maddie suggested, her mind instantly going to the wreck that had been left in their place after their first run in with the crazy doctor. Tom nodded.

“Or a letter from the president?” He asked. The man simply smiled.

“You’ll see.” Tom finally ripped the envelope open and pulled out a slim piece of folded parchment. He smiled excitedly at his wife and flipped it open to reveal… 

“A… fifty dollar gift card to Olive Garden?”

“Have you tried the Never Ending Pasta Bowl?” The man asked, paying no mind to their obvious dejected expressions. “It never ends!” The two nodded awkwardly until Maddie finally broke the silence.

“Yep, well, thank you! We really appreciate the gesture.” The man nodded and turned to leave right before a question popped into Tom’s head.

“Oh, hey, I guess we can close the file on that Robotnik guy, right?” 

“I’m sorry, sir, but no such person exists or ever has existed.” He said blatantly, adding an emphasis to the final part.Tom nodded, clicking his tongue.

“Wish that were true.”

“You haven’t by any chance been in recent contact with two, oh, I don’t know, exotically colored alien creatures, have you?” The man asked, using small hand gestures as he spoke. It was quite obvious who he was talking about. “We would love to have a chat with them sometime, very casual. Maybe a brunch, perhaps.” 

Yes. Yes. They would take two very powerful alien hedgehogs who sent an evil doctor to another dimension to brunch. Totes casual. 

Yep.

“Oh, you mean the Bonnie and Clyde hedgehogs?” Tom finally asked, allowing the images of his foster daughter and Sonic to pop up in his brain. The man excitedly nodded. “Oh, no, no. Haven’t spoken to the two of them since the incident and probably won’t ever hear from them again.” The man stayed silent for a moment, not doing a very good job at hiding his skepticism as even when they bid their farewells and closed the door, he remained staring through the cracks until the door was shut in his face.

“To be honest, I’m pretty pumped about that Pasta Bowl,” Tom chuckled as the two began to walk back into their living room where their dog rested on the couch next to a certain ice blue hedgehog. 

“Not if I eat it first,” she teased, e/c eyes glittering at the mention of food. Sonic’s head popped up from behind the couch and he folded his arms across the top of Y/n’s head, making her ears go to the sides.

“So, you guys wanna watch a movie, or what?” He asked. 

“Sorry, bud,” Maddie sighed, leaning into her husband’s side. “But it’s a school night. Time for you to go back to your cave.” Both Y/n and Sonic’s jaws dropped open, the defenses piling onto their tongues.

“What? Mom, come on!” Y/n protested.

“Yeah, it’s only three in the afternoon!”

“You know how you get when you’re tired. And besides, Y/n has some homework she needs to get done without any distractions.” The icy hedgehog’s cheeks burned a deep crimson as her mouth clamped shut. Maddie giggled at her daughter’s reaction, watching as Sonic sighed in defeat, and slid over the couch to begin walking towards the door. Y/n was quick to follow after him. 

“I’m not like anything! You guys are so uncool! And I’m not distracting! Right, N/n?” He looked towards his partner in crime only to find her staring dreamily at him with her hand supporting her chin. She quickly snapped out of it once she realized he was staring at her.

“What? Oh, no, of course not! I concentrate just fine around you!” She lied like a sinner in church. A smirk formed on Sonic’s lips as he turned to grab on to the door handle.

“Hey, buddy, where are you going?” Tom asked, a knowing smile on his face. Sonic turned around and looked at the family in confusion.

“You said I have to go back to my cave.” 

“We did,” Tom looked over to his daughter and gave her a warm grin. “Y/n?” She took her que with great excitement as she rushed over to her crush and grabbed his hand in hers, practically dragging him all the way up to the attic. As they entered the room, Maddie switched on the lights to reveal an (almost) exact replica of Sonic’s cave back in the woods with some personal touches like a racecar bed, some holiday lights, and some pictures that someone had taken on the great escapades of the Blue Blur, Star Chaser, and Donut Lord. Sonic’s jaw dropped open as he raced across the room, taking in the grand gesture with a pure heart.

“Oh my god… you guys did this?” 

“Yep,” Tom and Maddie grinned next to their daughter. “You’re part of our family now, bud.” Sonic felt his heart melt at his words, it was all that he ever wanted. He jumped up onto his bed as the other joined in, Y/n and Sonic in between Tom and Maddie. They all exchanged a big group hug, savoring the sweetness of the moment.

“And Y/n’s room is right down the hall if you need anything,” Maddie chimed in. 

“BUT don’t get any ideas,” Tom quickly burst in, making Y/n snort.

“Dad. Don’t make it weird.” 

“It’s my job to make things weird.” 

♡♡♡  

What’s that? No? Flawsome Bandits ISN’T over yet? Even though Alison already reached the end of the movie plot line? That’s right, you incredible darlings, you! Flawsome Bandits is not ending at just 8 chapters! Now, I’m going to explain a little bit so please take the time to read this message. This next part of the story is going to revolve around what I am imagining a sequel to be like by analyzing the post-credit scenes of the movie and what I know about the very messy Sonic the Hedgehog plotline. That being said, it is NOT a sure thing that my ideas will become the very potential sequel. My main idea for the sequel is for Doctor Robotnik to be making his return to plot revenge against our favorite Bonnie and Clyde hedgehogs, but he can only make it back to the realm where Y/n and Sonic grew up and this will be how I introduce Knuckles into the story. I also plan to include Tails as well, and I’m still debating on whether or not to introduce Amy. Metal Sonic may or may not happen, but please let me know if you have any ideas of people or concepts you would like to see in these next chapters! I would love to have some suggestions as I’m looking for a love rival for Sonic (another character that falls for Y/n) and just to help bring more action to the plotline as a whole. There will also be TONS more fluff between Y/n and Sonic, so don’t worry, the gradual buildup was very necessary to prep you all for what’s coming ;) Needless to say, the next update might come a little later than how often I’ve been updating due to me still trying to figure out where I want to take this story. Like I said, suggestions are very welcome! I’ve been experiencing a little burnout, too, so perhaps taking a break to brainstorm with all of you is a good idea. Stay safe and bless all of you little darlings for sticking with me and supporting me through this flawsome journey. It is far from over yet! ;)

♡ a.a.

[l-sincline]

Cybernetics - Cyberpunk!Sonic AU

Amy Rose has been working tirelessly at her broken down booth for as long as she can imagine. Ever since Tails left their work to join forces with the revered hero of Mobius, 'The Blue Blur', she's grown lonely and desperate to make her life exciting. A strange customer comes in one day asking her to fix his cyborg arm, what she didn't know was that he would be the catalyst for a brand new life.

AO3 Tags:

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Amy Rose/Shadow the Hedgehog, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Amy Rose (Sonic the Hedgehog), Shadow the Hedgehog, Sonic the Hedgehog, Miles "Tails" Prower, Dr. Eggman | Dr. Robotnik, Rouge the Bat, Whisper the Wolf, Cream the Rabbit, Knuckles the Echidna, Badnik (Sonic the Hedgehog), E-123 Omega, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Cyberpunk, Angst, Slow Burn, Partners in Crime

AO3 Link

Next

Amy reached up and wiped the sweat off her brow harshly with her hand that held the wrench. At the beginning of the day, she may have worried about getting grease or even Thuluhide on her forehead, but it was getting late, and she already had dozens of grease smudges all over her, and a few splotches of Thuluhide on her cargo pants and crop top. Grease, of course, came with the job description. She was a mechanic, fixing robot parts and hover cars and other things of the sort caused her to get pretty messy. Thuluhide, however, was something she hadn’t been aware she’d have to deal with until after her friend Tails had taught her to fix even more advanced things, like cyborg parts and androids.The world they lived in was teeming with them, it only made sense that she learned how to fix them to make more money, she already charged low for her services as it was, she didn’t exactly live in a rich town, it felt like a crime to try and sell her time for more than the people she serviced could afford, so the more she could do, the more money she could make. 

Anyways, Thuluhide had proved itself hard to remove from clothing, as her pants had many other stains that had refused to come out other the years. Thuluhide was the blood of those advanced cybernetics, cyborgs had Thuluhide integrated into their own body along with their blood in order to properly control and maintain function in their robot parts, Androids were simply filled with Thuluhide. As she tightened the last screw on the oldish radio that sat in front of her, on her desk at the very front of her shop, she became aware of a presence standing just ahead of her, on the other side of her booth. Amy looked up, slightly startled that she hadn’t heard them. Even though the street filled with various booths and shops like hers she worked on was often bustling with noise, she usually hear someone at least a few moments before they arrived. 

“You service cyborgs?” They asked- sounded male. 

“Yes-“ she replied “is that what I can help you with today?” 

He wore a cloak that covered most of his body, even the hood cast too much of a shadow on his face for her to see much else other than the fact that he had some pretty sizable fangs for a Mobian that didn’t seem to be some sort of lizard or lion. He responded by tossing an arm up onto her table- it was unlike one she had ever seen before, she usually saw cyborg parts that were steel or black, and if they weren’t their pain job was usually pretty shabby. This arm, however, was sleek white with two red stripes, one running down the outer of the the arm, the other down the inner. The joints were covered in well serviced black rubber- the entire thing was well serviced save for sizable dents made to the forearm. 

“I couldn’t move it at the elbow anymore, fingers and wrist wasn’t working either.” He said, gently using his other hand to push aside the cloak ever so slightly, all she could really see was the matching port on his shoulder where the arm connected, even his other arm stayed hidden by the cloak. 

“Well, I would’ve preferred if you’d let me remove it myself...” she started, picking up the arm to get a closer look at it. The stripes she observed earlier now seemed to just be lights that weren’t turned on. She frowned. 

“You know, I’ve never seen any arm, any cyborg part at all for that matter, that looks like this.” She commented as she continued to turn it over in her hands. 

“It was custom made.” He responded simply. 

“Shouldn’t you bring it back to whoever made it then? They’d have less of a chance of messing up on it than I do.” Amy placed the arm back down on the table and looked up to where she thought she could see the smallest gleam of light off the mans eyes. 

“Can’t. We’re not on speaking terms anymore.” He responded shortly, making it clear that would be all she was getting on that subject. 

“Shame.” She responded simply, putting her hands up in defeat to reassure him she would press no further. “Well, I’ll see what I can do then. I estimate it’ll be done by-“

“Can I have it by tomorrow night?” He interrupted. Her disbelieving look must have made him realize he sounded like an asshole, because he quickly followed up with; “I’ll pay more for it to be done faster.” She let out the breath she had been holding and slumped tiredly. 

“Yes, that will be forty units added on to the down payment then.”

“How much is the down payment?” 

“Twenty units.”

It was his turn to look at her like she was crazy, or at least, it felt like he was looking at her like she was crazy.  “That cheap?”

“Yeah, well, if I just have to tighten a screw then you’ll get money back instead, it’s just easier this way, I don’t know how much servicing this arm will cost until I actually do it. I could give you an estimate if you want, but you’ll have to stick around for another ten minutes.” 

“I just thought it would cost more.” He defended his reaction. 

“Closer to the middle of the city, sure. But out here people don’t have much, and I don’t want to take what little they have away from them.” She responded with a shrug, leaning back on her stool and crossing her arms over her chest. He seemed like he wanted to keep arguing, but kept his mouth shut as he dug around under his cloak a bit before his other arm snaked out and dropped her units on the table. 

She tried her hardest to hide her surprise, but clearly it hadn’t worked well, because his arm shot back into the abyss of the cloak as soon as she had noticed his other arm was also robotic. It was pretty rare to find someone with more than five percent of their makeup being robotic. With one full arm he’d already slightly over come that, but with two full arms he had officially gone pretty wildly over. 

“I’ll be back this time tomorrow.” He said suddenly before turning and walking quickly into the crowd. Amy tried to follow where he was going, but just as suddenly as he had appeared, he disappeared. She swiped the units into her hand and dumped them into a jar that sat below the table before picking up the arm again. 

There was something about it that made her feel as if no one else should see it, as if it was specifically given to her to be in her hands only- maybe the mystery guy had known her mechanic partner had moved on to bigger things and she was the only one in the shop now- either way, she tucked the arm under her own pink arm, which was quite dusty this late in the day making her seem almost purple, and reached up to close the screen in front of her booth to signal she was closed to the market that was still teeming with mobians even after dark. 

Soon she was left in the dim light of her lanterns that hung from either side of the buildings that surrounded the booth. The roof had been constructed out of old tarps and dingy blankets nailed to the walls (with permission from the building owners) and some burlap hung down over the back entrance that lead to the back alleyway to create sort of a tent like entry way. Wires zig zagged across the floor, all leading to different tools and one leading to a lamp on her work desk that all converged at one very over worked extension cord. Amy set the arm down on her work desk and dragged the stool from the front of her booth over to it so she could sit, turning on the lamp once she had. 

She stared blankly at the arm in front of her- perhaps the thing that made it strangest was it’s resemblance to something most mobians lived in fear of; the evil robots sent from the mad doctor, Robotnik, who came from a planet they had strained relations with: Earth. 

Earth and Mobius had only become known to each other in more recent years, after Earth ravaged the land in a war that the Mobians just barely managed to finish off. That was half a millennium ago, so perhaps not as recent as one may think, but still recent enough to keep sour tensions. Both planets leaders were constantly back and forth, looking to negotiate a peace treaty, but nothing had come yet. Constant changes of power on both planets lead to constant changing of peace treaties, it was a turbulent activity. 

But that was besides the point, the arm that sat in front of her resembled some of the most evil robots known to mobians, killing machines set upon them by a man who had made it his goal to take over their planet. 

Trying not to dwell on its resemblance to the doctor’s robots too much, Amy finally chose a tool (a flat head screw driver) and dragged the arm closer to her. She gripped it tightly and popped off the outside panel of the forearm where the flurry of dents were. She held up the gleaming white panel in one hand, and in the light it appeared that the dents had come from kicks, very strong ones to be able to dent this kind of foreign metal. She placed it back down on the table- she’d push the dents up and repaint the panel later, for now she wanted to get an idea of what it looked like inside the arm. 

Inside the arm looked somewhat similar to typical Mobian cyborg limbs, the Thuluhide sat dormant in the tube structures that resembled veins, and sure enough the red stripes she’d spotted earlier were lights, but it seemed that somehow they were activated by the Thuluhide. All the mechanisms on the inside were black, making it rather hard to tell anything apart. Even the wires were black instead of their usual mess of primaries, and she began to wish she still had Tails in the shop to lend a hand. Amy bit her lip as she leaned closer to the arm. She could call him, but he also seemed to be infinitely busier than normal these days. Tails was lucky, extremely lucky. She would probably envy him for the rest of her days. 

With the appearance of the robots that this arm reminded her of many years ago now, had come a vigilante of sorts to save the people from untimely demise. Super fast thanks to his Cyborg legs, sickeningly badass, and supposedly pretty handsome, the Blue Blur had become a household name. He never asked for payment, he never left anyone behind, he just did what was right- absolutely admirable! Amy still remembered the feeling of shock when she had come to the booth one morning and Tails was jittering around excitedly with a smile that looked like it could’ve torn his face in half. Apparently the Blue Blur himself had come by early that morning for maintenance on his legs, and a few days later, had asked Tails to come on board as his official mechanic. 

Amy was so happy for him when he’d told her, but the twinge of jealousy always sat not too far behind. She missed the life Tails brought to the shop, she missed his stories and his expertise, but she supposed it was his expertise that got him such a spectacular opportunity. 

She stared blankly at the ProjScreen she had taken out of her pocket, finger hovering over the call button before finally giving in and tapping it, setting down the screen so the hologram could pop up. 

It rang a few times, and then just as she was sure that Tails’ smiling face would pop up, it was instead the typical camera icon followed by the robotic woman’s voice telling her: “Miles Prower is not available at this moment, please leave a message at the sound of recording, thank you.” Amy managed a quick sigh before straightening back up when the beep sounded and slapping a strained smile on her face. 

“Hi Tails... I was hoping you wouldn’t be busy but... I guess you do have a lot more going on these days.” She laughed nervously, rubbing the back of her neck. “I have something pretty interesting here that I thought you might want to take a stab at, but it’s due tomorrow night so I guess I’ll just try to figure it out on my own... have a good night- miss you!” She tried to end enthusiastically as she grabbed the ProjScreen to get it to stop recording. Amy threw the screen down on the table and grumbled as she leaned foreword and thumped her forehead down on the table. 

“I guess I’m just gonna have to sleep on it.” She spoke aloud to herself, voice muffled by the dirty pink fur of her arms. 

She would have to work on the arm all day tomorrow trying to figure it out, so that meant she’d have to keep the booth closed for the majority of the day, or at least only keep it open to simple fixes, but hopefully this client would pay good. After all, they’d been willing to spend extra money to get it custom originally and pay her extra to get it done fast- so they wouldn’t haggle... hopefully. 

Amy stood from the desk and popped the front panel back on to the arm before placing it gently in her satchel and slinging the bag around her shoulder. After turning off all her lights, she slid through the burlap curtains and headed out into the back ally, ready to go home and take a cold shower. 

[dustedmagazine]

Listed: Horse Lords

Baltimore-based Horse Lords have been forging their own take on experimental rock music since 2012. The quartet, Andrew Bernstein (saxophone/percussion), Max Eilbacher (bass/electronics), Owen Gardner (guitar) and Sam Haberman (drums) weave together pieces drawing on divergent sources that include everything from 20th and 21st century classical music to just intonation tuning to African and Appalachian musical traditions to intricate polyrhythms and studio experiments. In a recent interview, Gardner talked about their approach to putting pieces together. “We generally write right up to the edge of our abilities. And sometimes slightly beyond. We’d had to scrap quite a few songs because they proved to be basically impossible to play... It keeps it interesting.” Ian Forsythe covered their newest release, The Common Task, noting that “Their nearly ten-year core pivots rhythmic and tonal ideas athletically, and their ability to pull elements from anywhere and everywhere is seemingly more fluid with each record.”

For this Listed, the four members runs down a list of live shows, recordings, blogs, movies, and books that have been on their minds.

Gleb Kanasevich plays Horațiu Rădulescu’s “Inner Time II for seven clarinets (Op.42b),” Baltimore. 2018 (Owen Gardner)

A near-hourlong ear workout, combining impressive sonic and structural brutality. The interaction of what these close dissonances do inside your ears with what the clarinets do in space (Gleb played live with 6 recordings of himself, meticulously arranged around the audience) is a haunting experience, celestial but with no concession to human music.

Maryanne Amacher — Perceptual Geographies, Philadelphia 2019 (Owen Gardner)

https://issuu.com/bowerbirdphilly/docs/amacherprogramonline

So much revelatory material has come out of the Maryanne Amacher archive so far, and particularly these loving reconstructions of her instrumental music. A lot more attention seems to have been given to “Petra,” which is certainly gorgeous and shows fascinating symmetries with the spatial/timbral concerns of her electronic music, but “Adjacencies” struck me as the Major Work of 20th Century Music. She wrote the damn thing in 1965 and it sounds fresh half a century later, which we can say of no previous piece of percussion music and not much written subsequently. I am slowly losing my mind waiting for Amy Cimini’s book on Amacher to come out, craving a deeper dive into her theory and methods.

Sarah Hennies, Bonnie Jones, Lê Quan Ninh, and Biliana Voutchkova at the High Zerofestival, Baltimore 2019 (Owen Gardner)

One of at least three great things Sarah Hennies did last year (Reservoir 1 on Black Truffle and the 90 minute cello/percussion duo “The Reinvention of Romance” being the others) was to take part in Baltimore’s High Zero festival, four mind-frying days devoted to free improvisation. This set was one of the highlights of 2019’s festival; each of the four performers having at least one foot in composed music (Ninh is a long-time Cage interpreter and Biliana has collaborated with Peter Ablinger) seemed to lend it a certain sureness and serenity, but ultimately their combined strength as improvisors (fastidiously captured by High Zero’s crack recording team) is what makes it such an engaging listen.

El Chombo — Cuentos de la Cripta (Owen Gardner)

A relentless tetralogy that nicely balances the rawness of ‘90s proto-reggaetón productions (the first volume self-identifies as “Spanish Reggae”) and the slicker, synth-oriented sound and settled genre conventions we’ve come to enjoy (or not) in the 21st century. This was helpful when working on “People’s Park,” not least for its insistent connection to Jamaican music. I can understand very little Spanish but I'm guessing the lyrics are not unproblematic; signifying language always disappoints.

Wallahi Le Zein! (Owen Gardner)

http://thewealthofthewise.blogspot.com/

An invaluable resource for anyone interested in African music, much more consistent and informative than the often yucky reissue market, which seems to prioritize awkward (and marginal) attempts at Western musical fads—as if what was available was not an impossibly rich and heterogeneous network of self-sufficient musical cultures but merely a broken mirror facing America. The archive of Mauritanian music alone makes this the most worthwhile stop on the information superhighway. There’s plenty of goofy drum programming and appalling sound quality if that’s your bag, but the rich variety of traditional musics is what keeps me coming back.

Miles Davis — On the Corner (Max Eilbacher)

Some might say Stockhausen serves imperialism but he did his little part to help cook up some of the most twisted American Jazz/funk jams ever. Davis only kept one cassette in his convertible sports car during the On the Corner sessions, a tape of “Hymnen.” He would take each member of the band on highspeed joy rides with the car’s stereo system on full blast. That same energy was channeled in the arrangement and editing. The convergence of a lot of different elements keeps this record on my top 10 list ‘til the end of time. The little detail of Americans taking concepts from European Neu Musik and making something incredibly funky and pleasurable is the cherry on top.

Olivia Block & Marcus Schmickler at Diffusion Festival, Baltimore 2018 (Andrew Bernstein)

This was an amazing pairing, with both artists playing in 8-channel “surround sound.” Marcus’ set was incredibly intense. Pure synthesis with a lot of psychoacoustic inner ear tones and unending overlapping melodies. It felt like the sonic equivalent of watching a strobe light at close distance. Olivia’s set was a slow creep, laying samples to create lush textures that were truly immersive. This was the kind of concert that reminds you of the awesome power of music.

Blacks’ Myths at the Red Room, Baltimore 2019 (Andrew Bernstein)

Blacks' Myths II by Blacks' Myths

I’m there for anything bassist Luke Stewart touches (see Irreversible Entanglements, his solo upright + feedback work, frequent collaborations with too many people to name). Blacks' Myths, his bass and drumset duo with Warren Crudup, is loud, noisy, and intense, and this set at the Red Room last year was particularly transcendent.

“Blue” Gene Tyranny — Out of the Blue (Andrew Bernstein)

Out of the Blue by "Blue" Gene Tyranny

I have probably listened to this record more than any other the last few years. Perfectly crafted pop songs segue into proggy funk jams and then into stream of consciousness drone pieces based around the doppler effect. I’ll put it on over and over again, an experience with an album I haven’t really had since I was in high school.

Bill Orcutt — An Account of the Crimes of Peter Thiel and His Subsequent Arrest, Trial, and Execution 2017 (Max Eilbacher)

AN ACCOUNT OF THE CRIMES OF PETER THIEL AND HIS SUBSEQUENT ARREST, TRIAL AND EXECUTION. by BILL ORCUTT

Legendary underground American guitarists from the most important American rock band also makes top notch conceptual digital audio art. Years ago I thought computer music lacked a certain sub cultural attitude. While this was/is not true, this 2017 release feels like it exists in its own world. High and low brow are in perfect harmony for this patterned enjoyable hellride of a listen. What if Hanne Darboven had to make art while working a full time job and dealing with mild substance abuse?

Lina Wertmüller — Seven Beauties 1975 (Max Eilbacher)

By Source, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=42000553

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_Beauties

During this pandemic I have been talking film shop over emails nonstop. I went through a big Wertmüller phase in 2018-2019 and as people are trading recommendations I usually try to recommend something by her. This film is the one that I keep reaching for. The email recommending this film usually starts as a draft with “this is really intense” and then I try to hearken back to my film school days and write about the male gaze, patriarchy, communism or something of that nature. I end up writing a bit, feeling like it’s way over the top for a casual email and then I end up deleting everything except “this is a really intense and beautiful film.”

Chaos: Charles Manson, the CIA and the Secret History of the Sixties by Tom O’Neill (Sam Haberman)

https://www.littlebrown.com/titles/tom-oneill/chaos/9780316477574/

The last book I managed to check out of the library before it closed. Though it in some ways resembles works of conspiracy theory, Tom O’Neill is always straightforward in telling the reader that, though the official story of the Manson case is almost certainly not true, the actual details don’t cohere into any kind of Meaning. Every new discovery is its own digression that points to a new unknowable truth or unverifiable claim. This really inverts the normal thrill of conspiracy theory, which invites you to either buy into the story being presented or reject it all together, either path offering its own sort of comfort. Chaos offers no such comfort.