#just by itself detached from the Who and the Why it was really interesting at least when I got control over it

[abyssalpriest]

I should've seen this coming bc I always was interested in religion but like. Lev said OK lmfao we should and are now going to make a religion (for the two of us). We Are. That's your practice now.

And I haven't been this excited in ages

[astrobydalia]

Aquamarine. Gold. Lavender.Colors of summer... Astro Observations

work by astrobydalia

Your 9th house rules your gandchildren! 9th house is 5th from 5th so your kids' kids.

Also, if you are any of your parent's first kid look at their 11th house to get a glimpse at how they will perceive your fs. (11th house is 7th from 5th, so your first kid's spouse)

^^these are derivative astrology methods so you gotta use whole sign system

The scorpion actually represents the underdeveloped/young version of Scorpio while the developed version of Scorpio is represented by the eagle which to me is analogous to the phoenix. That's why you see an eagle representing Scorpio in the The World card (cause this card signifies fulfillment or completion in tarot)

I think the song 'Part of Me' by Katy Perry really illustrates developed Scorpio energy. Is not resentful or vengeful but rather transformative and empowering, you can't end their spirit just like you can't end a phoenix. Underdeveloped Scorpio energy allows pain, trauma and resentment to ultimately k!ll their soul which turns into self-destruction, think how scorpion's stinger actually points at them (and fun fact: scorpions can actually k!ll themselves when they feel cornered)

Being "different" or an "outcast" is not an Aquarius trait, it's a Leo trait. Leo is all about being yourself, being unique, the one and only and main character energy. Aquarius rules inclusivity, equality, social cohesion, FRIENDSHIP (aka people who get you) and public validation, that's why it is a strong fame indicator. Aquarius energy is relatable to others, its new and fresh, Leo it not relatable because it is unique, it shines among the crowd and burns just like the Sun. Aquarius can be unique too but the main difference is Leos feel ultimately they only have themselves while Aquarius will always have people.

Leos are meant to experience feeling "different" or outcasted because they need to learn to accept and express themselves no matter what, that's why it rules bravery and courage. They often either feel alone in their "greatness" or feel like nobody accepts their real self. Either way its more common for them than for Aquarius to experience loneliness and rejection just like the sun can't never have anything come too close to it

Aquarius does not rule uniqueness per se it rules innovation, authenticity and detachment from the ego. Aquarians that try hard to be different and separated from "most" people are underdeveloped because they're still attached to their ego and this is the n1 thing that kills their innovative potential. Aquarius doesn't do things to validate the self like Leo, it generates ideas on how humanity can better express itself and develop, that's why it rules over technology, science and activism and that's why they're known to be trend setters. Air signs are all about finding common ground, aquarians are not meant to be different from communities or groups but rather find new and authentic new ways to represent them (hence the inclusivity).

All the Gemini Venus I've met were very loyal in their relationships idk what you guys are talking about. They are the golden retriever person that is head over heals obsessed with their partner. It's not easy to get them to commit cus they need someone who has that perfect blend between goofy and mysterious, too much of either bores them quickly. They love in a playful and child-like way so I see how they can be flighty and non-commital sometimes but if they're genuinely intrigued by you oh boy they'll be ALL over you in every way pretty consistently

Harsh aspects (esp square) between Mercury-Mercury in synastry are a no-go when it comes to compatibility. The two people can get along well and like each other if the rest of the synastry supports it but they likely have NOTHING in common. Efforts to try and find shared interests or ideas might be misunderstood or feel forced because there's none 😭. Even if you do have shared ideas or interests, you will have vastly different ways of looking at them because the way in which you both think/communicate always clash so you never really see eye to eye. You can get away with having unharmonious connections between venus or mars in synastry but mercury? Nah.

When it comes to predictions specially, you need to have AT LEAST three indicators for an energy to stick. For example, having just one planet at 29º doesn't mean you're gonna be famous, you need to have at least three fame indicators to even consider fame in chart. Also, I can't stress this enough, you REALLY shouldn't need to dig too hard to find the indicators, they're usually evident and fit into the context of the chart, meaning there are no other things contradicting or neutralizing said energy.

Even though we often look at 7th house for marriage, you are most likely to consider marrying and settling down with people who have their placements in your 4th house and/or 10th house, or you just see them as marriage potential in general. 4th house creates a sense of home, security and familiarity while 10th house synastry points to shared goals, seeing a future together, etc. That's how you'll feel tho, to see if that would happen you gotta check composite chart

If you have fire in your big 3 I just know you love being unhinged and a little wild once you get comfortable

Natives with Venus-Chiron aspects tend to have... questionable taste in lovers or get in relationships that are not so promising (forbidden love, etc). Their love life is always a struggle, they feel like they can't find someone that truly loves them and when they do it's always "complicated". With hard aspects they tend to date people who blatantly suck (abusers, psychos, players, etc). With easy aspects this can happen too but I've noticed they are more prone to attracting people who are alright however deep down are very troubled and/or unavailable individuals so the native tends to be the one to heal or sooth their lover.

Scorpio Mars can have sadistic tendencies... It obviously does NOT have to go that far for everyone, in fact most of them are pretty tame but this placement really gets off on the reactions of others I've noticed. Their n1 superpower is catching you off guard and poking at you psychologically. They know exactly what strings to pull and are very aware of how anything they do or say can trigger and affect others. This can manifest as smart and punchy humor, teasing... or really toxic behaviors. Oh and you do NOT wanna see them genuinely angry 😶 If you have this placement im gonna kindly ask you to please use your powers for good 😭💀

Females with Libra placements could have experienced being 'the other woman' I've seen this a lotttt. Either that or they constantly attract situatioships. They have a tendency to not be taken seriously by the opposite sex, only being seen as a trophy or a pretty face kinda vibe. Unless they also have Cancer energy

Which is interesting to see cause even though Libra rules marriage, the kind of women who are mostly perceived as marriage material by men are Cancer placements not Libra. If you think about it, it makes sense tho cause cancer rules family and motherhood

Water venus people have a very approachable and understanding aura. Very diplomatic and tactful, they'll effortlessly make you feel comfortable around them. Equally accepting of others both in public and in privet, but you'll automatically lose them if you make them feel invaded

Fire venus motto is "it's impossible to impress me.... but let's see you try😏". They purposefully market themselves as hard to get cause they want to see what you got. Will constantly crave interactions with some fun and friction

Earth venus are a lot more harsh, they haven't even talked to you yet but somehow have already decided you didn't make the cut 🥱 Silent observers, they'll have a mental spread sheet of what they like and don't like about you

With air venus you don't want to come off too strong otherwise you'll activate their fight or flight response 🏃‍♀️ You'll never know where you stand with them but if you wanna get closer you need to keep it playful and give them space

Virgo Sun/Mars/ASC like to help others but they do it in such way that is also indirectly self-serving to themselves. Virgos are sidereal Leos, they secretly want recognition for their modesty and want their actions and efforts to ultimately shine back on them

Underdeveloped Pisces Moons are selfish and out of touch. I’ve noticed this placement is painted in a way too innocent light but they can have a nasty shadow too. They will not accept anything that does not conform to their delusional expectations about life and when things don't go their way they’ll isolate in melancholy and victimize themselves using the ‘misunderstood’ card. They can have a really twisted perception of reality, confusing the lines between right and wrong to accommodate their own narrative. Think Thanos from MCU, that character is a perfect example of underdeveloped Pisces Moon fr!! They tend to be very aloof and weaponize their empathy to appear innocent . Can use the “I can understand the world but the world doesn’t understand me” mentality to justify everything they do without ever feeling bad about it.

Another Return that brings a lot of karmic lessons aside from Saturn Return is your North Node return which happens every 18 years (Ages 18, 36, 54, etc)

Gemini risings have a fabricated or fragmented personality. They're often attracted to things like astrology, personality stuff, psychology, etc because it helps them make sense of themselves through abstract concepts. They also tent to define themselves through imitation or comparison like "I do that too", etc. It's very easy for them to convince themselves they're something they're not (gemini rules lies and deception), that's why they're often good actors (Pisces 10th house). They come across as very air-headed cause who they present themselves to be is based on who they THINK and SAY they are vs. how that translates in reality

Based on my life experience and also the responses in astro/observation posts, I've observed Scorpio placements respond relatively well to criticism. Not saying they don't care, but they can handle being villainized quite well because when developed they can have a really healthy acceptance of their shadow side and toxic traits. They also don't mind being misunderstood cause that means people can't pry on their business

CANCER, Libra, Leo and Virgo placements on the other hand are the most sensitive to criticism.... They can't handle not being seen as "the good one" all the time

Most Pisces suns I've met gave off huge xNTJ vibes for some reason like very deep thinkers, silent, sarcastic with a low-key threatening and unapproachable aura. Also VERY elusive and protective their personal stuff, they embodied the "mysterious" Scorpio stereotype fr.

However Pisces sun+pisces venus combo gives much softer vibe, more quiet and doormat-like, you'd think they're high 24/7.

The other bunch of Pisces suns Ive met had a very bubbly and dramatic personality. Can be emotional in a really performative way

Libra Mars people are SMOOOOOTH. Not only with their words but also their mannerisms, how they move and do things in general. You'll never see them triggered or stressed, they make everything look so effortless

The Pluto in Scorpio generation (millennials mostly) were the ones who started this mental health awareness wave. All this concern with anxiety, depression, mental and personality disorders was started by them. They’re the ones who started putting focus on the deeper effects of the dark psychology (Scorpio).

All the people that have scared me and traumatized me deeply for life had planets in my 12th house with no 8th house synastry in sight whatsoever…

>>> In my experience 8th house synastry is only intense in the moment but eventually you get over it fast once you stop entertaining the person/situation. It might be hard to let it go tho cause the connection is intense and this person will leave a lasting impression, but once it’s done that person is forever dead to you. 12th house synastry on the other hand is giving "I fight with you in my sleep", 12th house feels harmless at first but it deals with themes of sorrow and shame. It lingers and haunts you fr. Let’s remember that Saturn, the planet of permanece and lessons, finds its joy in the 12th house…

8th house venus/juno is NOT a sugar baby indicator imo. As per my observation, it is actually the 8th house native that ends up making a lot of money and their spouse/partner benefits from the native's income and success. I swear every person I've seen with these placements had "we could hang out in my yacht if you want😉" as their main flirting technique LMAO. Their own power (8th house) is their main source of seduction and attraction (Venus/Juno)

I believe 2nd house Venus/Juno is more indicative of sugar baby energy. They want that spoiled good life with little effort even if that means being financially dependent on someone else or using family's money

In contrast I've noticed 8th house placements are not really like that, they have a HEAVY entrepreneurial spirit. Super ambitious individuals

With that being said, be careful if your have natal 8th house placements (specially Venus, Moon, Juno, 7th house ruler), cause the people you bond with WILL benefit from YOUR income and success. That's why these natives are prone to experiencing betrayal, cause if you surround yourself with the wrong people they'll take what they want from you or cause chaos in your life and then leave, so use your intuition!!

With 2nd house energy you are good at keeping your resources and income safe, but this means they can lose value if you don't use or invest them eventually just like food goes bad if it just sits in the fridge. With 8th house energy you are prone to loss, debt, loans and other financial risks where you either lose it all or gain lots and lots of money, the all or nothing nature of plutonic energy.

I bet any virgo placement can relate to being a little bit of mess but something I’ve seen in particular with Virgo risings is they are surprisingly sloppy?? You really wouldn't in a million years think so given how they always end up presenting good results but once you know them deeply you notice they often miss out on important details in the process or get so caught up with short-term things that they miss the big picture. Either way, they often look like they got it all together but they constantly improvise a lot more that what it looks like in the surface

Aquarius Mars is a placement I've seen A LOT in celebrities, specially well-liked ones. They attract people to them just by existing, they don't even have to try too hard

I’ve noticed a lot of critically acclaimed actors have air moons

Sagittarius Part of Fortune have a vibrant and fun spirit, you can’t never kill their vibes but they can tend to be immature. It’s like they’re completely oblivious to anything serious 

Libras are people pleasers due to a hidden inferiority complex (sidereal virgo)

work by astrobydalia

[stargirl-writes]

denial

pairing : force healer jedi! reader x anakin skywalker

word count : 1.5k

masterlist

summary

anakin skywalker confessed his love for you. except, you turned him down, reminding yourself of your duty to the jedi. weeks would have passed and you're reaching a breaking point where you can no longer deny how you felt about him.

tags : angst, mutual pining, fluff towards the end,

warnings : pretty much just denial of how reader feels, and angst with a happy ending (!)

notes : hi lovely people! this is the first thing i'll post under this blog! thank u for taking interest in my little imagine, i hope you like it!

likes, reblogs, and comments are highly appreciated !

It has been a few weeks since Anakin Skywalker told you he loved you. For a moment, the cruelest thing to do seemed like the sweetest thing he could say.

For you both know that the Jedi Council will forbid you to delight in this feeling.

No attachments, live to serve the good, clear lines. No devotions.

You didn't understand how loving someone can be so corrupting, after all, the Jedi Code taught you compassion for all things. That in itself is an act of love. Living so detached from things just makes it all feel... meaningless.

Why hurt for love? Why hurt for not loving?

But now, ever since Anakin told you he wanted you, you are held by a ravenous grip that left you feeling breathless. Suffocated.

Because the truth was simple: You wanted to hoard Anakin in your heart and keep him there. You wanted Anakin.

Of course, you didn't mean it. Anakin Skywalker is the only one who truly knew you. He shredded down your walls to find you where you're most vulnerable and loved you anyway. He wasn't scared of the things about you he didn't understand. Things you, too, find difficult to accept.

But caught by the abruptness, you could only tell him "We can't" before storming out of the room that one night.

You were perplexed, because for the longest time you have resigned yourself to the idea that you were the only one feeling it.

And now he says he loves you. All along.

He loved you.

He loved you despite, despite, despite...

And you turned him down.

Because you can't....

You were bound by duty first. And your duty is to serve the Republic. You can't have Anakin, not if he is supposed to be the chosen one.

You still cried in your sleep; angry and tremendously sorry you turned the closest thing to love away.

You can't take the Republic's only chance of surviving this war. He was meant for something larger than you are. Larger than both of you. You understood this, but it didn't really make it hurt any less.

It fell into this odd... silence between both of you.

You'd catch yourself looking for him in every room you find yourself in. A force of habit. His force signature used to be a warm beacon of light to anchor you, now every time you sense Anakin, your heart aches.

Haunted by the images in your mind of what could be if you allowed him to love you. Terrified that you've allowed yourself to want to share a lifetime with him.

You can't. You wouldn't.

You shuffle in your bed, unable to find a spot so you can comfortably rest. You were becoming more frustrated, for your mind just won't turn itself off.

You grabbed your robe and pulled your hair away from your face, tying it back.

With a sigh, you sit up. It would be futile to attempt any sleep, dawn was already breaking from the windows of the Jedi Temple.

Force healing is something that not every Jedi practices, for it requires a deeper state of discipline and precision. Besides, there are medical droids that can take care of the wounded.

The council had briefed you on your mission for today, you're stationed at the med-bay to overlook the casualties after the recent attack on Kamino.

You valued healing; no matter how forgotten it may have been for the Jedi Order. So, this mission is equally important to you as fighting in the front lines.

The halls of the temple were still quiet, deep in sleep. You wander around, not really knowing where to head.

You hear a shuffle from behind, and instinctively, you turn.

You halt at a balcony— entranced by the rising sun. You breathed deep, wondering when all became so complicated.

A pair of blue eyes meet your doe-eyed gaze. You surveyed him, he looked like he just came from battle, his robes were covered in dust, and his eyes were glossy as if he had been awake for some time, too.

"Anakin" you breathed out, realizing it had been the first time you addressed him after the night he confessed.

"[Name]" He answers, sounding tired.

Your heart thumps, unsure, and half-terrified that if he calls your name again, you might fall to pieces.

"How did the mission on Kamino go?" You say, trying to find any topic other than—

Anakin steps forward, leaning against the balcony. You hold your breath. Being so close to him felt like all air vanishes.

"It went alright" Anakin answers, his gaze falling into the horizon.

Your eyes trail on his arm, noticing the dried blood, a gash maybe, you step forward, wanting to get a closer look, your healing instincts telling you something was off.

"You're hurt" You say, your hand carefully moving his robe.

Anakin sharply turns at your touch. Then his eyes bore into yours. You lifted your fingers, realizing you may have startled him.

Anakin always had you. Part of the reason you were persistent in learning healing. Because the anxiety of him hurting never settled, and you wanted to be equipped to take care of him.

"Let me do this, it won't take long" You insisted, because you knew Anakin too well, and he'd not get it checked until someone else forces him to sit down at the med-bay.

The wound started closing and after a moment, it was like it wasn't there in the first place.

Anakin nods, his eyes never leave yours.

You felt it, a ripple through the force. A very specific frequency. A jedi might mistake his hurt as that of a physical one. But you have memorized him too much to read through his pretenses.

The wounds hurt, yes. But he is carrying a lot more pain than he lets on.

So, you continued. Your fingers graze over his skin, channelling the force, willing it to heal the gash.

You withdrew your touch. The silence lingered. It's a silence that makes you feel mad, because it feels like this is how it'll always be for you and Anakin now. Delicately dancing around the elephant in the room.

The silence amplified the voice screaming in your heart.

You may as well just say it out loud because your force signature is latched with it. It involuntarily pours your heart out.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

"Anakin" you began, your lips opening and closing unable to find words to express how you felt.

He turns his head, standing straight, he had an expression you recognized. Some sort of braceness, like he was already anticipating for you to break his heart again.

"I'm sorry" was all you could say.

Even if you would've ran away with him if he asked you to.

Clear lines. No attachments. You'd cross them all if he asked you to.

This was the right thing to do, you think...

"Don't" Anakin shakes his head "Don't... I know you don't mean it" His eyes fall to his feet.

"No, I do" You answer swiftly— no longer able to deny how much it had hurted you too.

You felt tears threatening to cascade down your face. You've heard it said that love turns people soft, but you have never felt more broken now that you have loved something you can't have.

"Anakin, when I said we can't, it's because I can't take you for myself. You're meant for larger things. Only with the Jedi can you fulfill your destiny" You rambled, verbalizing the thoughts you convinced yourself to believe in at night.

Anakin's eyebrows furrowed, but you continued "It doesn't mean I didn't, that I don't—" You halted, your heart and mind tearing you apart.

"[Name]" he calls, "You are no small thing in my life" He tucks a loose strand of hair to your ear.

"I meant it when I told you I love you." His palm presses on your cheeks.

You thought you could crumble beneath his touch.

These weeks, the small amount of time you spent trying to convince yourself that his feelings will eventually pass, never faltered the way how you felt. His absence felt like half of you was missing. And now, he was here, insisting softly.

You can't hold it in anymore.

So, in the absence of words, you pressed your lips against his— slowly, gently, slipping into the intimacy you only ever shared with him.

I love you.

You say between the kisses, hoping it'd suffice for you can't quite bring yourself to say it just yet.

Nothing in the world belonged to you, just this love you were overpouring with. And this kiss— it felt like the beginning of something eternal.

Whatever that may be.

© to @cafekitsune the dividers!

[wzrd-wheezes]

okie but like situationship with sirius black where they just come out of fucking and then go back to the party, but this time, the usually detached sirius is just like all over her even after, making sure she's okay, getting jealous of other guys talking to her, and then at the end, he self-evaluates and then just goes : *jesus fuck i'm in love.*

(totally cool if u don't wanna do it)

Get to the point - Sirius Black x Reader.

AN - I wasn't originally intending on writing this as smut but I couldn't resist it. I hope that you enjoy anyway. Thank you so much for requesting <3

Warnings: smut. nothing too intense really.

1.7k words.

It started the same way as it always did. Throughout the evening, they navigated with practiced avoidance, each sticking to their own circle of friends as if the other were invisible. Then, as the night wore on, and they had both had too much to drink too quickly one of them would catch the other staring at them. Sirius, often the instigator, would watch her from across the room with such intensity that she could feel his eyes burning into the back of her head. When she would eventually give in and meet his gaze, he would shoot a knowing wink at her and jerk his head towards the door. Tonight was no different, 

Y/N was sat nestled between two of her friends, both of them nattering away to god-knows-who. She absently swilled the remnants of her drink around in her cup before tipping it back and draining the last dregs of it. Over the top of her cup, she finally allowed herself to look at him, breaking her self-imposed rule of avoiding his gaze too often. She had been careful not to let it linger too long and give him the satisfaction of catching her staring. 

Sirius always looked good, but tonight, she couldn’t deny that he looked better than usual. Although, she suspected that that could have been the alcohol talking. The dimly lit room only seemed to enhance his sharp features – the curve of his lips, the angle of his jaw. His hair fell effortlessly over his eyes as he tipped his head down to light a cigarette. Caught in the act of watching him, she noticed the smirk that tugged at the corners of his mouth. Without hesitation, he strode over, cigarette dangling from his lips and a self-assured grin on his face. 

“This must be a new record, eh?” he grinned, settling himself on the sofa beside her. She hadn’t even noticed her friends slipping away, too captivated by him. “Party’s barely started and you’re already giving me the eyes from across the room.” 

“Hardly.” she countered, staring down into her cup as if she was willing it to magically refill itself, “Trust me, you’re not that interesting to look at, Black.” 

He was, and they both knew it. With a knowing smile, he just rolled his eyes and took a drag on his cigarette. 

“Want a refill?” he offered, reaching into the inner pocket of his leather jacker and producing a hip flask. She accepted it immediately. It was so stereotypically Sirius – silver and ornate, his initials engraved on the front. 

“Cheers.” she unscrewed the top and tipped the contents of it into her cup.  

“Just polish it off, why don’t you?” he laughed. 

“I need it if you’re going to sit here and pester me,” she remarked dryly, “it makes you tolerable.”  

“Oh, how you wound me.” Sirius sighed dramatically, his hand clutching his chest theatrically, “We both know you’ve been waiting for me to come over, darling.”  

“Waiting, dreading - same thing really.” she sipped her drink. Whatever it was Sirius had in that flask burned as it went down, warming her chest up. 

“You look good tonight.” Sirius ignored her comment, slipping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer towards him, “Always look so pretty for me, don’t you?” 

“Oh, please.” she chuckled softly, shifting slightly in his embrace, “Don’t let that ego of yours grow any bigger. It’s already suffocating.  

Sirius, undeterred by her comment, persisted, gently brushing her hair away from her ear and leaning in close. His warm breath tickled her skin, her breath caught in her throat as she felt his lips graze her earlobe. 

“Shall we keep playing this game or shall we get to the point?” he whispered, softly kissing her neck. 

"You’re insufferable, you know that?” she sighed, but she couldn’t deny the smile that crept on her lips. Once again, draining the contents of her cup, she rose to her feet.  

“Eager, are we?” Sirius teased, taking her hand in his and dragging her through the crowds of people.  

After stumbling into multiple bedrooms that were already occupied by other couples in various stages of undress, they eventually ended up in the bathroom. Sirius swiftly locked the door behind them, leaning against it as he looked Y/N up and down. 

“Funny. You don’t usually go to great measures to make sure we don’t get disturbed.” Y/N mused. 

Sirius just shrugged, crossing the room until he was standing in front of her. His hands quickly found her waist and he backed her up against the counter, lifting her up until she was comfortably perched on the edge. Roughly, Sirius pushed her legs apart, creating a gap for him to stand in. Instinctively, she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling her towards him. He let out a groan as he let his lips collide with hers for the first time that night.  

“Been thinking about doing this all night.” he grumbled, his lips brushed against hers as he spoke. Y/N just smiled, taking his bottom lip between her teeth and biting down on in gently.  

Sirius’s fingers fumbled with her trousers, shifting them down her legs until the pooled in a pile on the floor. He dropped down to his knees, his fingers kneading the flesh of her thighs as he kissed his way up towards her core. For a moment, he hovered over her underwear, leaving her waiting in anticipation for a second before sliding them off and slipping them into the back pocket of his jeans. He ate her out like a man starved, head buried between her thighs as he lapped at her desperately. Y/N’s head tipped back to rest against the mirror behind her, her eyes screwing up in pleasure as Sirius slipped one, then two fingers inside of her. He loved watching her reactions, it stroked his ego somewhat, seeing how good he made her feel, how easy it was to make her fall apart. She gasped when he pressed his fingers upwards, sucking softly on her clit as he did so. 

“There’s those pretty noises I like,” he murmured, pulling back to look at her. His chin was glistening with her wetness, and he wiped it away with the back of his hand as he stood up, “Always get so wet for me, don’t you?” 

Y/N only nodded, watching him as he expertly undid his belt with one hand, the other still planted firmly between her legs. Sirius took his cock out, stroking it for a few seconds while he let his eyes roam over Y/N’s face. 

“Please, Sirius.” she whispered, biting down on her bottom lip. 

More than happy to oblige, Sirius resumed his previous position standing between her legs. Deciding to tease her for a few moments more, he slowly ran the head of his cock up and down her folds. With one quick movement, he pushed inside her, groaning lowly as she wrapped around him. He quickly found his rhythm, they had done this so many times before that he knew exactly how to make her come undone for him. 

Y/N’s hands tangled in his hair, pulling him forwards so that his forehead was resting against her own. She kissed him deeply as he fucked her, Sirius took the opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth when she let out a particularly loud moan. Their teeth clashed together as Sirius’s thrusts got more and more rough. The room was filled with the sound of his hips snapping against hers as they both chased their highs.  

Sensing that she was getting closed, Sirius slipped out of her, barely giving her time to protest and he pulled her to her feet. He spun her around, lifting one of her legs up on the counter to give him some leverage. As he entered her again, he pulled her hair, adjusting her gaze so that she was looking at him through the mirror.  

“Want you to look at me when you cum, pretty girl.” he grunted, “You can do that for me, yeah?” 

Y/N nodded, her moans getting louder as Sirius’s thrusts got more and more erratic. He kissed her neck as he fucked her, using her hair to pull her back so that her back arched against him. They came almost simultaneously, Sirius collapsing against her back as he emptied himself inside of her. 

“Fucking hell, you’re hot.” Y/N grinned, slipping back into her trousers.  

“Yeah? You’re not too bad yourself.”  

Y/N slipped out of the bathroom and back into the party, deciding it was time to try and find her friends before they started wondering where she had got to. Usually, after they fucked, they would both go their separate ways, ignoring each other again just as they did before. She made her way into the kitchen, quickly fixing herself a drink before blending back in with the crowds of people.  

Sirius waited a few moments after Y/N left and then made his way back downstairs. For some reason, the only thing he could think about was her. He shook his head quickly, trying to rid himself of thoughts.  

Back in the living room, his eyes scanned over the amount of people in the room, he wasn’t sure what he was looking for. At least, that’s what he was telling himself. Eventually, his eyes fell upon Y/N, just as they had earlier. She was perched on the counter in the kitchen, bottle of beer in hand. He couldn’t quite see who she was with, but decided to make his way over to her.  

He stopped suddenly in the doorway when he saw a boy standing just to the side of her. She was laughing at something that he said and he had a hand resting on her thigh. Sirius’s jaw tightened and he quickly turned around trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach.  

Deciding that it was best to distance himself, he took himself outside where there weren’t as many people. He reached into his pocket and fished out his pack of cigarettes, quickly lighting one. He took a drag and sighed, staring up at the stars. 

“Well done, Sirius.” he said to himself, “You’ve only gone and fallen for her.” 

[milliebobbyflay]

Okay so I've spent a while thinking about how to word my actual problem with homestuck 2, and the works that make up post-canon homestuck more broadly. I think a lot of people resort to nitpicking bits of awkward writing or art in some attempt to pinpoint a source to an underlying sort of hollow uncanniness, which is funny because homestuck's supposed golden age of acts 1-5 are themselves FAR more of a tonally inconsistent mess of odd character beats, jokes that don't always land, and janky looking art.

Homestuck 2 has been written and drawn by very talented and passionate artists from the beginning, I think the actual issue comes down to a mix between the general pitfalls of hiring fans and the particulars of hussie's outsider background and unorthodox writing style.

First is the issue of hiring fans in general; while it can seem like an easy shortcut to finding talented writers already familiar with the voice and story of the original work, you have to be very aware of how fan culture operates. Beyond the obvious pitfalls that fans are unlikely to approach the story from a detached perspective, there is the larger issue that past a certain point fandom becomes essentially self sustaining. Once a fandom has existed for a long enough period, its most avid members have likely spent FAR more time engaging with other fan works than they have with the original art object. Fandom and the art it produces are, in this way, a sort of a folk tradition; artists are imitating and responding to other artists, characters become archetypes through which to explore certain ideas and dynamics, and the values and tastes of the most prolific and influential fan artists become as inseparable from a participants mental image of the character as the original work itself.

For an example, the affected theatrical mannerisms and cruelty Vriska adopts while in her Mindfang persona have become inseparable from the popular view of the character. Despite the fact that it's heavily signposted as a sort of role playing performance from the jump and she's more or less dropped it by the back half of the comic, it was nevertheless how she had acted in the bulk of her scenes around the time the ur-texts of homestuck fandom were being written, and as so an understandable misread of a character became inscribed into the fandom canon, and by extension her characterization in Homestuck 2.

All of this is extrapolated by the sort of unorthdox, building-the-plane-while-flying-it manner in which Hussie's writing style developed.

Based on his commentary, I get the sense that Andrew is an incredibly clever and thoughtful writer who lacks the theory and vocabulary to precisely describe his process. He tends to communicate in sort of abstract metaphors which aim to bridge the gap in explaining the actual conscious process he uses to plot his stories, but the way he talks about technical nuts and bolts writing craft stuff gives me the impression that his approach is largely intuitive, bordering on unconscious. He's a lot better at describing how he writes than what he writes or why.

You can of course piece a lot this together—his approach to art draws from the tradition of videogame spritework, where the visuals exist as a utilitarian vehicle for conveying information first and a work of illustration only inasmuch is needed to serve the greater story. His character writing draws more from a synthesis of literary fiction, sitcom writing, and "making up a guy" style posting humor, where characters are defined more by their life experiences and underlying psychology than by their goals and values, but also seem to have largely been constructed backwards from a starting point of a funny or interesting manner of speaking. Importantly though, I don't get the sense that these were conscious decisions, just that to Hussie they seemed like the logical way to approach these tasks, and I don't really think he could outline them in a way that would actually help a new team of creators grok how to draw and write in a way that feels like homestuck. I also don't think Hussie could actually explain the psychology that undergirds his character writing, I think he was mostly just drawing on his own life experience and imagining how this sort of character might logically speak and act.

As a novelist, and Hussie is one, both your thought processes and the sum total of your worldview and life experience are just as important to your work as the actual conscious decisions you're making, and I think that where there are gaps in understanding, the new writers are filling in the gaps with both a more conventional approach to the creative process and over a decade of accumulated fanon, and I think that's why homestuck 2 never really rises above feeling like a very well-made fanfic to me?

[inkpot909]

The Stardust Crusaders’ Picks for a First-Dance Wedding Song Headcanons

↳ Gender Neutral Reader. Joseph Joestar is excluded.

A/n: A chill list of headcanons that came to me at 6 in the morning. Jokes aside, I loved putting this together. Although I admit I am a bit biased since I’ve always loved retro music. I did my best to pick music that coincided with the music the characters each canonically listen to (at least, as far as we’re told).

Warning(s): None.

Jotaro Kujo

-> As the World Falls Down

David Bowie

“As the pain sweeps through

Makes no sense for you

Every thrill is gone

Wasn’t too much fun at all

But I’ll be there for you

As the world falls down”

Canonically speaking, Jotaro’s favorite musician is Toshinobu Kubota. It’s admittedly a rather interesting choice for a man who was a dedicated delinquent in high school.

But music tends to touch people in a special, often times sensitive, manner. And despite looking and acting the way he does, Jotaro’s music preferences are no different.

Yeah, sure, he’s definitely a “whatever’s on the radio” kind of guy, but he has taste.

Separated from others, when he’s in control of the music he’s listening to, his choices give the impression of a casual listener that somehow always has the best picks seemingly with no effort put in at all. Perfectly on brand for Jotaro.

Therefore, he’s likely going to have an unexpected pick.

Therefore, he picks a sappy ballad from an under-appreciated 80s movie. Not because he’s even seen The Labyrinth by any stretch of the imagination, but because he just… likes how it sounds.

He likely heard it one way or another, completely detached from the movie itself, and decided he enjoyed it. Something about the slightly cheesy yet instrumentally enchanting tune gets stuck in his head in a really good way.

There is a reason past “oh, it just sounds nice” as to why he picked it but let’s be honest… he’s going to get a little embarrassed annoyed if he has to explain to you in full detail.

The title pretty much speaks for itself, in his opinion.

Noriaki Kakyoin

-> Every Breath You Take

The Police

“Every move you make

And every vow you break

Every smile you fake

Every claim you stake

I’ll be watching you”

Good god, he’s certainly the Sting fan.

Whether or not you actually like Sting it’s hard to argue against the fact that Kakyoin likely has an overall shit taste in music. Why is this the case? Because he’s been alone the majority of his life and didn’t have any friends to bully him over it.

Not having anyone around him to say “what the hell is this” or just a simple “no” will and has effected him.

He’s the type of guy who claim’s “this album will change your life” before putting on some of the worst pieces of music you’ve ever heard.

Not that he isn’t trying, keep in mind.

This man will stress about what to suggest for days on end. He’s going to take the longest compared to the others in how how much time it takes him to pick. It’ll eat away at his brain, threatening to take every bit of his sanity unless he can think of what he deems as the perfect song he can choose.

And still he manages to not only choose an extremely predictable wedding song, but an insanely creepy one as well.

It’s weirdly charming, in his own odd Noriaki way.

He likely didn’t know what he was doing at the beginning of the relationship due to inexperience, and it’s probably heartwarming to know some things never change.

And it’s completely possible the stalker-ish lyrics of the song didn’t click inside his brain. Not because he doesn’t understand the lyrics per se… but because the poor guy hardly had a grasp on what was actually considered romantic when you first met.

Please, for your own sanity, don’t let the song played at your wedding be one that he picked (with hindsight he’ll probably thank you for it too).

Jean Pierre Polnareff

-> The Air That I Breathe

The Hollies

“Peace came upon me and it

leaves me weak

so sleep, silent angel, go to

sleep

Sometimes

All I need is the air that I breathe

And to love you”

Polnareff’s favorite musician isn’t ever canonically specified, but it’s made pretty clear he’s likely a fan of The Beatles. And considering he went through puberty during the 70s, he’s likely going to lean into that era of music.

Generally speaking, he’s got decent taste. Sure, he’s got the music taste of a white suburban father, but his picks are usually pretty agreeable.

That said, he’s definitely a little high and mighty about it.

He won’t go off on the subject too hard whenever you’re around, but he thinks very highly of his preferences. Polnareff’s a huge victim of nostalgia, and a part of him feels a little elitist for having grown up in the time period that he did.

He has had the song for his first dance picked out in the back of his mind for years, swearing that it would be played at his wedding at some point or another.

Hell, he’s probably got a full roster of music in mind for the reception.

For such a monumental occasion, he’s sure to pick a ballad that starts off slow but crescendos into the chorus- easily the type of romantic tune he’d prefer.

And unlike the others, you may get pushback from him if you don’t want that as your first dance. He’s quite stubborn, generally speaking, and this is no exception to that.

Ultimately though, he would eventually cave and do just about anything you want.

But as stated before, he’s had his mind set on this one for literal years. So certainly expect this to be a somewhat tough conversation to have with him if you prefer something different.

Muhammad Avdol

-> I Love How You Love Me

Claudine Longet

“I love how your eyes close

whenever you kiss me

And when I’m away from you I

love how you miss me

I love the way you always treat

me tenderly

But, darling, most of all I love

how you love me”

Avdol’s music taste is left as a complete mystery in canon.

However, because he runs his own shop, he’s fairly attached to the calming instrumentals he often keeps on at the store. Avdol understands atmosphere well and takes it very seriously.

When he’s not working, it’s not very often that he finds himself listening to music.

But when he does, it’s usually music with soft or ethereal overtones (you cannot tell me he doesn’t listen to Enya). Throw in some charming oldies from the 50s and 60s, and Avdol’s in his element.

To put it simply, easy-listening tunes are his freaking jam.

He also enjoys listening to music from all across the world. Avdol is likely well-traveled, and is undoubtedly knowledgeable on other places and cultures. So the preference comes naturally to him.

He’s going to pick something very romantic and slow. A song that, even if you maybe haven’t heard it before, upon the first time listening you just know it’s meant to be played at a wedding.

And, unlike the others, it would take him less than 24 hours to have made his choice. It’s not that he doesn’t put care into the decision, he just doesn’t like making you wait. He’s quite efficient when it’s something this important.

Regardless, he’s the most flexible of the group when it comes to your tastes, so anything you want is perfectly fine with him.

That said, it has to be a ballad. That’s his main request. Avdol’s eager for your input, sure, but he’s going to want to slow dance with you more than anything else.

[kechiwrites]

| kinktober week one | ♱ diligence ♱ | kento nanami x reader |

synopsis: “kento takes careful note of what you like, just in case you want repeat performances”

wc: 2.5k

cw: femme reader, established relationship, oral sex (f receiving), bondage, light d/s dynamics, cunnilingus, squirting, petnames (honey, darling, princess), nanami is VERY observant. NO MINORS.

author’s note: late because i watched mugen train again and had to take a mental health day. this one goes out to @kee-does-things and @katsukikitten​ PREMIUM NANAMI ENJOYERS who hype me up so much. enjoy. atsumu comes tomorrow (get it? cause it’s smut? cause he’ll nut? alright). 

♱ find the rest of my kinktober masterlist here ♱

It’s unthinkable that Kento is hiding something from you. In fact, before this you had found yourself wishing he would hide things from you. Honesty has always been his number one policy, even when you really didn’t want to hear it. Even when the low, gravel of his voice was the only thing keeping you interested.

Lately, however, you've been seeing him scribbling things down in a notebook, an action which, by itself, isn’t much to provoke your curiosity - he’s always taking notes of some kind. What really piques your interest is that once he notices you're looking at him, he’ll squirrel one particular notebook away somewhere out of sight. You try to ignore it at first, everyone’s got their little isms and Kento is a case study in odd behaviours. But every passing day, every scritch-scratch of pencil against paper drives you further and further into madness.

So you look for it, and yes, every self-help book and social media post about relationships says to respect your partner's boundaries, their secrets, but you’re only human and Kento is a steel trap when he doesn’t want you to know something. Still, your curiosity can only beat back your conscience so far. Even as you overturn his carefully colour coded drawers in your shared bedroom to search for the accursed thing, the potential titles of your would-be biography are scrolling through your head;

"So You're A Psycho Spouse..."

"Why Not Everything is Your Business."

"Leave Kento’s Shit Alone!"

Okay yes, your subconscious made the last one particularly pointed, but it definitely wasn’t wrong.

Then you find it, a perfectly maintained, unscuffed, forest green moleskine notebook, silken fabric bookmark wedged a little less than halfway inside. The book feels like it's burning your fingertips and you drop it onto your bed. Maybe you should've waited until Kento was out of the house to look but you knew how long his showers were, you had plenty of time. Carefully, as though the pages would come apart in your nosey little hands, you pry open the book to where it's been bisected, eyes immediately honing in on your name. Below it, in Kento’s perfectly square script, is a very detailed account of the time Kento made you squirt on your third anniversary. Tiny diagrams of what were obviously Kento’s large, veined hands in different positions fill up the margins, accompanied with questions and comments on potential causation, how you'd responded and notes for "future engagements''.

It is mortifying but your curiosity pushes you to read more. This time you flip to the beginning, pages upon pages of suggestive drawings and text filtering past your eyes.

‘Press tongue flat against clit, follow with ring and middle fingers, push inward until she cries, add index finger, repeat until climax.’

A flash of heat courses through your body at the memory and you sit on the floor, settling into the journal entries. It’s clinical and detached and it shouldn’t be even a fraction as hot as it is, but the idea of being the subject of Kento's frequent and thorough study gathers slick between your thighs.

The next entry is rife with images and the contents rob you of your breath. A rough sketch of manicured hands bound by shaded rope in intricate knots takes up an entire page, below it in tiny text are the words; “She’d look good bound, anchor her hands to the bindings around her thighs. First silk, then rope.”

A printed picture of you with your handcuffed arms raised is paper clipped to the next page, a photograph taken during an, at the time, really funny magic show you’d insisted on attending, next to you is a figure holding a wobbly fake saw that you know is Gojo, his normally grinning face obscured by a perfectly round black circle. It makes you laugh, knowing Kento probably couldn’t find a picture from that night without Gojo in it, so your husband made do.

You pour over his notes, heart thudding in your chest so loud you worry you’re developing some sort of condition. One page dissects exactly what colour of rope would look best against your skin, Kento’s stream-of-consciousness notes turning over which items of clothing he likes seeing you in the most, what colours are easiest to find and how much he could get versus how soon they’d arrive. According to the paragraph near the end of the entry, he’d settled on the classic red, a fact that makes you roll your eyes goodnaturedly. Even when Kento surprises you, he doesn’t surprise you.

Another page is filled to bursting with bullet points on the pros and cons of “public scenes”, and you choke on your own spit after you read that Nanami has firmly decided your first foray into the more risky side of your sex life is coming very soon.

Christ.

A third of the way into the little green notebook, you’re reading Kento’s pristine script again; “She takes so well to authority, at least when we’re being intimate.” Your brows furrow together, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” you mutter.

“What are you doing?”

When you whip your head up from the journal, Kento is standing over you, dripping wet with his towel wrapped low around his waist. If it weren’t for the thunderous expression on his face, you’d probably attempt to tug the fabric free, probably with your teeth.

“Ah…” You drop the book like it’s bound in hot coals, the spine thudding on your bedroom floor. “J-just…cleaning. How was your shower? You know I was actually thinking I’d take one too!” you scramble up from where you were sitting, steadfastly keeping your eyes aimed at the floor. “So I’ll just-”

“No.” Kento catches you around your forearm, his grip as solid as iron. “You read the book, didn’t you?”

“I can’t read!” You yelp immediately.

“Right,” The exasperation in his voice is clear, and his hold on you tightens by just a fraction. “Well, I’m sure you can understand pictures, can’t you darling?”

The rope is tight, expertly tied so it’s snug around your arms and torso but not so restrictive that you’ll get anything beyond a couple of suggestive bruises tomorrow. Your husband had made quick work of you, pulling you onto your bed and stripping off your clothes without much fanfare, sourcing the rope from the same drawer you’d found the book.

Now it’s no wonder he never wanted you to put the laundry away, you always figured he was just particular about how his shirts were folded.

Above you, Kento almost looks pained, the corners of his mouth are pulled down and his neck is very rapidly flushing pink. You open your mouth to ask if he’s alright, but he cuts you off, his voice dark and dripping like honey when he says; “I knew you’d look amazing like this.” Reverently, he runs his hand over the rope separating your breasts while he whispers to himself, “Perfect.”

“Let me know if anything I do or say upsets you, yes?” He murmurs, his eyes searching your face for any sign of discomfort or anxiety.

“Kento.” You whisper, brushing your lips against his.

“Yes?” His gaze goes soft and sweet. 

“The tie you wear to work everyday upsets me.” If you were going to get him to ditch it, your best chance was now, apparently.

“Noted and dismissed.”

‘No such luck.’ You click your tongue in faux-irritation and wiggle against your constraints, only stopping your impatient squirming when Kento levels you with a raised eyebrow. Your response is impish, a smile that’s all teeth, your bare skin framed with crimson cord.

He draws back quickly, turning away from you to mask what you assume is Kento’s version of raucous laughter, his broad, bare shoulders rising and falling from small chuckles. He kneels on the ground, bent over something that his body obscures from your vision. You struggle, trying to get to your knees so you can peer over his shoulder, but you must’ve been making too much noise because your husband circles back to face you, only returning to his quandary when you let yourself fall back on your ass.

“I wanted to prepare more. Was going to give you time to acclimate. I was going to take it slow. But you just…can’t keep yourself out of trouble, can you? Can’t just do as you’re told.” You whimper in protest, hands flexing where they’re bound behind your back.

“Couldn’t just be a good girl.” Kento intones.

Your chest burns with embarrassment as he approaches, dumping a handful of toys at the foot of the bed, most are familiar to you; bullet vibes and magic wands and dildos in varying sizes. You shift away from the collection, a whine building in the base of your throat at what the tools mean for you.

“No, no. No whining, not this time.” Kento snags your ankle, dragging you down over the covers and towards him, mounting the bed to situate himself between your legs. His hands are so warm when they make contact with the plush flesh of your thighs, unrestricted by rope like your torso but similarly unmoving. The blond hooks a finger into one of the knots and tugs you forward, nipping at your jaw before he sucks at the hollow of your throat, sinking the blunt edge of his teeth into the juncture until he leaves a stinging imprint behind.

“Legs up, over my shoulders.” You’re quick to obey, letting yourself fall back against the gathered pillows once again, spreading your legs and framing his head with your ankles.

Kento snakes towards you, revelling for a moment in your shared proximity, his palms anchoring your thighs around his ears, stifling his hearing and sight, allowing him nothing else but the stimulation of your heat against his face. His tongue skates over the soft lips of your cunt, the curve of his nose nudging at the sensitive bundle of nerves nested at the top. You chew on your bottom lip, letting your head droop down. All the while your husband noisily laps at you, groaning in contentment while you periodically squeeze and relax your thighs. His tongue traces long, wet stripes through your puffy folds, smearing his spit and your slick all over the soft flesh between your legs. The sensation forces you to tilt your hips upwards to chase the warmth of his tongue. You twitch against your bindings, keening from left to right, your skin burning relentlessly.

"K-Ken-!" you hiss through your teeth, toes curling against your sheets all while your wetness covers his face. “P-please."  Kento smiles against your pussy, burying his face even further between your thighs so he can suck roughly at your clit. His teeth skim against it once, twice, three times until your eyes roll back, lids fluttering shut, hips making aborted movements that only increase in frequency when the man sinks two fingers inside your fluttering cunt. You leak down his wrist as he fucks you with his digits, your aching clit pulsing helplessly between his teeth. Another finger stretches your entrance before he curves them, seeking out the spot within you he’d written so fondly about.

“Come. Now. Make a mess of me.” He urges, eyes flashing with lust, his expression intense and fevered, locks of blonde hair falling over his forehead.

It feels as though your nerves are being set alight, the mix of Kento’s spit and your own slick sliding lewdly down the curve of your ass, making a small puddle beneath you. Tears begin pouring from your eyes, moans and cries escaping from your parted lips and filling the air around you. You wrench yourself up hard, squeezing your thighs around his head, rocking your hips until you’re basically riding his face. Your stomach tenses as an orgasm rips through you, wracking your body until you’re almost cramping. Your husband pulls away, wiping you off his chin with the inside of his wrist. His hand settles over your stomach, fingers spread so his pinkie just barely brushes the lowest knot keeping you in place, effectively smearing your own cream against your skin.

“I need another.” He murmurs, tracing his bottom lip with the very tip of his pink tongue, chasing your taste. Your answering moan is miserable, you shake your head back and forth, chest heaving against your restraints. You sob out a protest, your mind spinning from an unusually intense peak; “N-no.”

“You’ll give me another, honey.” His tone is so sure, so solid that you wonder if you’d refused him at all. He shifts away from you and you take the opportunity to gasp in relief at the cool air hitting the sweat slick flesh of your thighs. Relief that soon flees your still sensitive body when you hear the gentle buzz of one of the toys from the pile. The vibration is deceptively strong when he nudges it just under your clit, your whole body wrenching away from it. Your hips lift up from the bed and Kento moves fast, trapping your middle under his forearm and bringing you back down, back under his control.

“Kento~” You’re drooling now, your bottom lip quivering. Each time you jerk away he follows you with the horrid little thing, pressing it against your leaking slit, dragging it up and down the seam of your pussy while you beg for mercy.

“No more. I’m sorry!”

“Shh, you’ll be okay. Relax.” He commands, brushing the knuckles of the hand keeping you flush to the mattress against your sides.  

And you're trying. You try so hard to draw deep breaths, to calm yourself down while Kento works you over, the blush pink vibrator pushing hard into your clit. He makes a mess of your hole, finger fucking you again deep with a precision you now know is practiced. It’s loud and filthy and wet, the sound of him fucking you with three, long, dextrous fingers clouding your mind and bringing you closer to another climax.

“I can’t! T-too soon.” You hiccup, your arms and shoulders trembling with the moderate pain of trying to fight against the rope. Still, despite your breathless objections, you crest over another wave of pleasure, twitching and mewling as you squirt your release over Kento’s hand. You clench down on him, grinding down on his palm as you ride out the sensations. You crumble against the sheets once more, watching Kento dazedly, his fingers already between his lips. His cock is hard against your thigh, the leaking tip an angry mottled red. When he draws you into his chest you push your face into the muscle, murmuring incoherently.

“Okay. Okay princess, you’re doing so good for me.” He presses a kiss to your sweaty forehead, cupping your face with his dryer palm. You screw your eyes tight, panting heavy exhales as you try to catch your breath again.

“Okay.” Kento repeats himself from above, he sounds so pleased, content. He teases your nipple between his thumb and forefinger, eliciting full body shivers. Your husband lowers his head, his lips brushing the shell of your ear, his voice deceptively gentle, almost cloying.

“Now the wand, okay?”

[howlsofbloodhounds]

The idea of Stage 2 Killer being put in situations where he has to take care of injured or sick people and his only real experience being Chara—who his entire existence revolved around making sure they were kept happy and satisfied, and avoiding anything that result in being stabbed to death or his skull kicked in—and stray cats, so it sort of results in a detached, dehumanizing care.

Like he has an entire mental checklist of things that the patient needs to do, have, or eat—and he doesn’t really factor in things about how if the patient wants to eat at all or anything about favorite or preferred foods. He often makes decisions for them, and doesn’t provide emotional comfort—focusing on the physical.

At most he’ll like..pet that person’s skull or head when they seem upset. And he like..gets really uncomfortable with any large outbursts of emotions, even if he hides it under his mask of playfulness. His misunderstanding of social cues shows up a lot here, because he’s looking for signs that the person is upset with him and is about to try and play a game with him.

He treats it like a duty he has to perform, and when he actually has some type of emotional interest in the one he’s caring for, he can come across as overly protective and far too controlling. Like his patient is an injured orphaned kitten who will stumble off the couch and hurt itself in its excitement if Killer isn’t there to catch it.

Like picking them up and carrying them to the bathroom or the kitchen without permission because they shouldn’t be walking, washing and bathing them and clothing them himself because they can’t do it themselves (would hurt themselves trying, he knows from his own experience) and he doesn’t understand the concept of embarrassment or humiliation or privacy.

Even feeding them like a baby, spoon fed and all, and someone is going to have to eventually tell the guy why what he’s doing is upsetting. And it’s a common worry for patients of his that he’ll force feed them if they don’t eat, and it’s uncomfortable how intensely he watches them to make sure they do.

(He doesn’t really see the problem with being force fed. Chara did it all the time. It’s a little uncomfortable at first and the throwing up is inconvenient, but you’ll get used to it.)

(Just Killer’s low empathy and isolated experiences of constant violence and harm making him unintentionally come off as an unsettling asshole. He does not understand boundaries in the slightest, not of his own or of others, and invasive actions is normal to him.)

[andmaybegayer]

This series is really good, it's a discussion of the way marketers, media, and representatives talk about VFX that's totally detached from the actual usage of VFX because of the desire to sell "No CGI" as a point in movies.

We've talked about how when people say "this movie has no CGI" they usually mean "this movie has no bad CGI", with almost any modern film features huge amounts of CGI blended in with real shots, composites, and in-camera effects, but this is a really well done breakdown of who is saying what and why, namely that it's mostly not the people responsible for direction and effects, rather it's marketing, actors and media outlets misinterpreting or just lying about CG. It especially shows up as the contribution of VFX to movies being downplayed even as VFX sections on credits grow.

This is an interesting counterpart to how CGI used to be sold as a huge thing, there's a Captain Disillusion video about Flight of the Navigator which sold itself as a CGI heavy movie but which featured barely any actual pure CG scenes due to the computational limits of the time.

[hyuuukais]

.・゜-: ✧ :- FICTIONAL REALITY .・゜-: ✧ :-

pairing • bang chan x fem reader

synopsis • fiction or reality? y/n preferred the former, escaping into another world, escaping her problems. so what happens when reality takes that away from her; wiping her own story-in-progress off both her laptop and beloved usb? and what happens when she opens the door in the middle of a crisis to none other then the love interest of her novel... and he's holding her usb?

warnings • general, blood/injury, yeonjun being possessive, choking

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

CHAPTER SIXTEEN • DONE (1.6k)

Minho sits solemnly on his couch in dim lighting. The window is open, a light breeze moving the thin curtains ever so slightly. He has no recollection of how he got here, only that one minute he was staring into that damn mirror, and the next he was lying in his bed face down, blood trickling from his nose.

There were only a few moments for him to acknowledge the change in scenery before someone was pounding on his door, shouting his name. He hoped it would be you, but when he opened the door he was face to face with old friends.

"Wha- Hyunjin? Yeji?" He takes in their appearances, noticing the changes since the last time he'd seen them, now a couple of months ago.

Explaining what had happened was priority, sitting Minho down to reveal they'd been in and out of this other realm trying to find you after you'd left. As far as Minho knew, Yeji was the only one to know your location, but apparently that was a lie. You were smart, not telling a soul, knowing anyone could help him trace you no matter how close you'd been.

And now you were here, hugging him tightly in the doorway of his house.

"How the hell are we here?" You ask, barely containing your nerves. "I was in that place with Yeonjun and he forced me back here, but I don't know how. None of this makes sense. Why can't I just have peace? Why won't he let me forget him?"

"It's not supposed to make sense," Yeji says, closing and locking the door after Hyunjin.

You detach from Minho, confused. "What's not supposed to make sense?"

"All of this!" You flinch, and Yeji takes a deep breath to calm herself. "Whatever Yeonjun has been doing, he's messed with reality itself. Fiction has started to blend into our world. Soon enough, we're not going to be able to tell what or who is real or not."

"How are we so sure he's in control?" You think of the rooms, the bodies, the way he and you were connected.

Something isn't adding up, something else is at play here and you intend to figure out exactly what that is. Nothing has been going right and you are sick of it. Thunder claps in the distance, but you don't shrink down, you don't move. You walk right up to the damn window as rain pours down from the dark sky and you open it, feeling the drops hit your cold skin.

You are not afraid anymore.

You are angry.

-

"Why are you doing this?" Chan winces, trying to get to your side, but the pain radiating through his body is too much.

"If I can't have her, no one can." Yeonjun crouches, meeting Chan's eyes. "Real or not, you stole her from me, and I'm going to make you pay."

Another shot of pain goes down his body, crying out with his eyes squeezed shut. Head throbbing, remaining limbs numb, all he can do is think of you. Where are you right now? Are you safe? Is Jeongin with you? Questions and fears run through Chan's brain at the speed of light.

"Still thinking of her as you lay here dying?" Yeonjun tilts his head to the side, observing Chan's writhing body. "Interesting. She really succeeded in making you love her."

"She didn't- she didn't make me do anything," Chan grits out.

"Really? Because from what I know, that's the whole reason for your existence." Yeonjun stands, walking over to your body. He lays a gloved hand over your arm. "You don't really love her, and you could realize that if you join me in restoring the timeline. The one where she marries me and you're left behind, but you'd have control. You could love who you want, not who you were forced to."

"I would never do that," Chan breathes. "Never. Could never betray her like that. Like you."

"Betray her? She betrayed me." Yeonjun moves his hand away from you, clenching it into a fist. "You can't understand because I chose to love her, and this is how she repaid me."

"Love," Chan gasps. "Love isn't a transaction. No 'I gave you this, so you should give me that'. No wonder she left-"

A boot to the face shuts Chan up, rolling to his back. Using the hand he still has, he brings it up to his bleeding nose and mouth, lip split, and bone no doubt broken. He hisses at the contact, letting his hand drop back to his side. His breathing is constricted as Yeonjun wraps a hand around his throat, forcing him up onto his knees, breathing constricted. The only thing keeping Chan from falling back down is the strength Yeonjun uses to hold him up.

-

With a groan, Jeongin lifts himself out of bed. Around him is familiar; his room when he first moved in with his grandparents after the accident. The walls are bare and the bed is too small, wind whistling through the attic. He looks down, still dressed in the stark white clothing from the other realm. Head swimming, he stands up slowly, using the angled wall for support as he makes his way to the hatch. His descent is quiet, footsteps light as he passes where his grandmother must be asleep.

Everything is a hue of blue, cold and unforgiving. No photos hang on the walls like they used to, no trinkets are found in random places. Personality has been stripped from this house, only the bare minimum in its place. The stairs creak slightly under Jeongins feet, and he uses the side of each step to minimize noise. Although he isn't certain his grandmother is here, he doesn't risk it.

Outside snow falls, decorating the streets in white. Winter is beginning, roads slick with ice and the temperature dropping every day. When he exits the house, he isn't cold, even with the flakes hitting his bare skin. The streets are empty and no lights are on, eerily quiet as he walks on. Jeongin doesn't know where he plans to go, only that he needs to keep walking or something very bad will happen. He passes the café, but it isn't a café. In its place is a boarded-up building with broken windows, sadness spilling from within.

He needs to get inside.

The boards covering the door come off easily enough, a splinter or two here and there, but it doesn't hurt. His muscles don't ache from the force needed to pry them off, his back doesn't hurt from the one time he slipped backward. Behind the boards, the door is locked, but with one good kick, it comes right off the hinges.

"Stronger than I look," Jeongin mumbles, stepping over the piece of wood.

Just like his house, there's nobody and nothing here. It doesn't resemble the lively café Chan owns whatsoever, dark with a strong, musty smell lingering. Jeongin brings an arm up to his nose, feet guiding him up the staircase to the abandoned apartment above. Unlike below, this does look like Chan's, down to the chipped coffee cup left on the counter.

Down below, Jeongin can see someone staring back at him through the window. He startles, then squints at the figure, trying to recognize them but their face is blurred from the dirty glass. Wiping a spot clean, he looks down again, but they're gone.

"What...?" He places a hand on the window, scanning the empty streets for a sign of life.

Jeongin.

His head whips around to the dead apartment.

Little fox.

Something touches his neck and he looks back toward the window, backing up suddenly when he sees the large crowd of people, and right into something solid. It grabs him from behind and he struggles and yells, panic consuming him as they push him hard through the window and down, he's falling down.

-

Rain comes down in heavy sheets, threatening to drown you standing up as you walk out of the house and down the street. You don't know where you're going, only that it's where you need to be. Behind you, Minho calls your name, keeping a safe distance between you in your anger. The storm rages on around you as your own red, hot feelings rise the longer it takes to get to where you're going.

"It's not safe out here!" Yeji yells, jogging up to your side. "We need to get back!"

"I'm done hiding!" You stop walking, grabbing Yeji by the forearm, making her face you. "I'm done feeling small and letting him control my life when he's no longer in it! Time and reality are fucked because he can't handle rejection! Because he can't handle the fact that I'm becoming my own person again!"

Your voice is desperate, needing her to understand. "I need to be my own person again."

A beat passes before Yeji nods, wet hair plastered over her forehead falling into her eyes. You reach out to move it out of the way.

"I'll be okay." You pull her into a hug. "I'll be okay."

You let go and she's stuck to the spot watching you leave her again. Minho passes, but she places an arm on his chest to block him.

"What are you doing? She can't be alone-" Yeji shakes her head. "Yeji, let me go."

"Or what?"

Minho's jaw clenches and he feels another set of hands holding him back; Hyunjin. They won't let him go, won't let him follow you as you disappear into the night.

"You know something," he clues in, blinking.

"We have to let this happen," Hyunjin's voice is barely heard over the thunder.

●

notes • things r COOKIN!!!!!!! also! i updated the masterlist with a warning for the next chapter, so pls take a look! it wasn't planned originally otherwise the warning would have been there from the start, my apologies

taglist • @yongbbokkie @chaeryred @tenebrisirae @toplinelix @chansdoll @amaranth-writing @3rachachoo @linosjureumi @thebrownemo @tfshouldidohere @channie-143 @frogieeheart @kangaracharacha @skzswife @hopefulrascalstatesmantoad @palindrome969

TAGLIST CLOSED ^^^blue means i can't tag you

[ultraericthered]

Disney's Most Hated Villain 10 Years Later

Now when I say "Disney's most hated villain", I don't mean he's the Disney villain that most people hate most, I literally mean he seems to be the villain most hated by Disney themselves. The shots taken at him in Big Hero 6, Frozen Fever, Kingdom Hearts III, Frozen II, and even recently in Once Upon A Studio all seem to suggest that there are some people high up at Disney who just really did not care for this guy, like they blame the ascendance of "twist villains" in Disney movies on him and want to take it out on him, despite how massively successful and popular the movie he was the villain of was and still is. It's just the most preculiar thing. A whole 10 years later and we've finally get another traditional, openly and bombastically evil villain in King Magnifico of Wish, and given how utterly polarizing that movie is turning out to be among all the earliest critics and audience viewers, I have to wonder if he'll now become Disney new punching bag for setting this new course! I swear, there's no pleasing folks these days!

But this post is for some thoughts on him and why I feel a lot of people online still get Hans wrong. He's not the most competently executed and well defined case of a twist villain, nor is he the worst, most bullshit twist villain ever who needed to be excised from the film so Elsa could keep the Big Bad spot. Taking him as he is, Hans is a B grade or C grade Disney villain at most, with lots of character potential even if it doesn't fully come together in the movie itself.

By far the most common and greatest misconception about Hans as a character is the idea that the moment of the reveal that he was an evil villain the entire time, and the very nature of re-establishing and re-contextualizing his character as a villain, is meant to cast him as some devious, manipulative mastermind who was pulling strings for the film's whole present day plot and had ill intent behind his every word and deed, even if that seems contradictory to the character we'd been watching up to that point. This is false. Hans has never mastered the chessboard, only played on it. He had a firmly set goal from the moment he showed up in Arendelle - become its ruler - but he did not have any solid plan on how he was going to make this ambition a reality. So he was winging it the whole movie. I mean, he basically says as much to Anna in that scene yet so many viewers were too distracted by reeling from either shock or confusion over the outing of Hans as the bad guy that they seemed to miss that.

The crux of Hans as an antagonist in the film is that he is a broken soul who grew up miserable and with an absence of love in his life, and it warped him into a high functioning sociopath who can easily detach himself from his heart and emotions, becoming whatever the current circumstance or person he's presently interacting with best requires him to be in the ways that best advance his own interests. He's like the worst possible outcome of what Anna or Elsa could've grown up to be had their childhoods taken an even worse turn. And above all, he is a man of many masks, rarely ever showing his true face. The mask is hollow and flexible, serving as a mirror to whoever Hans is in contact with (His nice, adorkable, and worried moods perfectly match Anna's, his angry and confrontational moods perfectly match Weselton's, his saddened and sympathetic moods perfectly match Elsa's - absolutely none of it is authentic). There's only a select few times we see the mask pulled back and get to see Hans' true face, those times being these moments and shots here:

The first shot is him lowering the phony Prince Charming mask and visibly expressing that he was genuinely charmed to meet Anna. No, he doesn't have any "love at first sight" feelings for her, nor is he at the point where he plans on getting close to her and asking for her hand in marriage - it's simply an amused fondness for this quirky, clumsy Arendelle girl he just conversed with.

This next shot is him looking towards the mountain and realizing Elsa is there. In animation, there's even the briefest hint of a grin as he turns and gives orders afterwards, 'cause he wants to seize and exploit this opportunity to play the big hero for Arendelle. Also worth mentioning is that while Hans has no one he loves, he does treat his horse Sitron well. It's pretty much his only friend.

The infamous split second shot where Hans' eyes dart up towards the chandelier before he jumps to action and turns the soldier's crossbow away from Elsa and to the candelier that drops on Elsa. This is Hans as a Xanatos Speed Chess player shown in practice.

That smarmy, mean-spirited grin that comes over his face as he says the infamous, ever memetic line that reveals his villainy.

The shot when he sees Elsa has broken out of her prison cell. Again, the good guy mask is lowered to show he's not pleased.

THIS SHOT. This is Hans fully unmasked and fully unrestrained.

The last we see of him before he's thrown out of the story.

So what's with all the Hans hate, from Disney fans and Disney itself? TV Tropes' page of Character Perception Evolution states this:

I'm not sure how entirely accurate this is since from what I recall, Hans and the twist of his villainy was getting shit on from very early on. I have to disagree that the twist was not properly foreshadowed or at least not in a way that was substantial enough (aside from those "lowering the mask" parts, all of Hans' lyrics in "Love Is An Open Door" put his intentions and the angle he was playing in plain sight, he immediately flip-flops his position when Anna charges him with looking over Arendelle in the sisters' absence, and right before the reveal he straight up lies by omission to Elsa's face by not telling her that he's currently the leading authority in Arendelle and thus has the power to grant her leniency rather than "persaude the other nobles" to do so), but the execution of the reveal with his sudden shift into a totally different character than the one we'd been watching for the previous two thirds of the film absolutely should've been handled better in execution; he needed to slow it down a bit in between saying that notorious line and snuffing out all the lit fires in the room while expositing in a villainous monologue sort of way. The idea that Elsa should've been the villain rather than Hans and Hans should've been the male love interest instead of Kristoph are simply opinions, and I'm not exactly in agreement with them, more on that in a bit.

I've said it plenty of times before and will repeat: to me, the most crippling weakness of Hans as the villain of this film is that the way he's been designed, the very nature of his sociopathic character who always wears masks, mirrors other characters, and comes up with new moves to advance his interests, rendered it very difficult for us to get a good grasp on who he truly is and feel like we'd really gotten to know him by the time the movie was over. And you could make the argument this isn't a flaw so much as it is a necessary evil in order to make Hans' role in the story work as best as it could...but I feel that argument falls flat when Disney/Pixar later gave us a similar twist villain who did what Hans did but better and even more effectively as a full-fledged character in a much shorter amount of screentime.

Erenesto De La Cruz, like Hans, is first cast in a positive light and set up as a good guy in the story, though we don't meet him in person until the third act of Coco. Like Hans, he's got an amiable personality and fast strikes up a friendly relationship with the main character. Like Hans, he is very evidently not without genuine decent qualities. Like Hans, the reveal of him as a murderous sociopath who is the true villain of the story is a very shocking moment. And like Hans, he's a big factor in the climax and gets dealt a satisfactory karmic comeuppance. But the thing that set Ernesto apart from Hans is that he doesn't wear any masks to conceal he's "secretly evil". He has a public image that conceals this, yes, but for all the time he's on screen and an active agent in the story, he is his authentic self. All of the nicer qualities we see from him aren't made up, they're real parts of who he is...and who he is just also happens to be a vainglorious sociopath devoid of a conscience who will do anything to anyone under any circumstance in order to "seize his moment" and build up a legacy that keeps him the center of attention even long after he's passed away. While he's still under the mistaken belief that Miguel is his great grandson, before he learns he's actually that to Hector, he has him put away and draws a parallel to how he poisoned Hector to death as he does so - he was never at any point in life pretending to be Hector's best friend, "Hector WAS my best friend", as he puts it. And it just ultimately matters less to him than himself and his own self-interested pursuits. That is a truly chilling villainous character who leaves a strong impression after the movie's over despite how little he was on screen. Hans was almost that, but fell short of the mark because we were left with no clear picture of who he was.

Luckily for Hans, he did get other chances to show more character:

In closing, I will still have to defend Hans' position as the story's only true villain. Yes, Disney going all out with Elsa and her powers driven out of control from her fears as the primary antagonist probably would've been the best option, but once they were set on making Elsa much less of a villain than envisioned, someone needed to play the part in order to make the climax happen and it absolutely could not be the Duke of Weselton, a character so comically unpleasant and openly against Elsa and in it for his own interests rather than Arendelle's that there is no way in Frozen Hell that Elsa would ever be convinced by him of anything like Anna being dead from Elsa's own freezing powers. That lie had to come from someone who could convincingly make Elsa believe it because they'd come off so sincere, someone she'd think could have no possible reason to lie to her. It had to be someone like Hans, someone with a heart so frozen cold that he could effortlessly mimic human emotion he didn't really feel. That is a crucial part of the story's climax that, even beyond the danger to Anna's heart, was foreshadowed from the very beginning.

[alexandraisyes]

i’ve been thinking about dark sun for a while now so i’m dropping my thoughts into your ask box

when dark sun was first introduced i took ONE look at that mf and went “this man is def schizoid.”

i’m gonna dump the dsm criteria for szpd in here real quick

DSM-5 Criteria

- A pervasive pattern of detachment from social relationships and a restricted range of expression of emotions in interpersonal settings, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:

1. Neither desires nor enjoys close relationships, including being part of a family.

2. Almost always chooses solitary activities.

3. Has little, if any, interest in having intimate experiences with another person. (note: i changed the wording from sexual to intimate here because it can be seen as an attempt to pathologize asexuality, and that’s not very cool of the DSM)

4. Takes pleasure in few, if any, activities.

5. Lacks close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives.

6. Appears indifferent to the praise or criticism of others.

7. Shows emotional coldness, detachment, or flattened affectivity.

disclaimer here, considering the recent lore on dark sun, i don’t think he’s Entirely Schizoid anymore, but he def has Some Traits. I’ll mostly just be talking about my earlier thoughts on him before all the shit with Ruin, Nexus, and Eclipse happened

when he was first introduced (and through some of his subsequent interactions) i could SMELL the apathy and anhedonia on this bitch. i mean LOOK at this man

dark sun was obviously Very Detached and seemed unbothered by his solitude/overall Lack of Social Relationships, in fact i think he preferred it

i can’t say anything about him enjoying any activities (even with current lore) (which in it of itself might say something about him) i’m not sure if this guy truly Enjoys anything he does, he seems quite apathetic to it all

him lacking close confidents is. kind of self explanatory, he was very much Alone in his dimension (moon does not count, i’m not sure if that guy was even functional). his indifference is also self explanatory i think

i already mentioned his Detachment, but he definitely experiences flattened activity, i don’t think we’ve ever seen him sound/be remotely emotional

he also does appear to experience some level of grandiosity/superiority complex, which is actually something that can be experienced with SZPD (not to be confused with grandiosity in NPD)

for SZPD, they may experience grandiosity as a defense mechanism. it should be noted that people with SZPD who display these behaviors may not believe they are a “great” person. rather it’s a mask to protect themselves. think of it as a means to maintain their independence (avoid being “controlled”) or cover up their own emotional inavailability.

here’s a tumblr post with some screenshots about SZPD & grandiosity (from a book about SZPD) that you may find useful: https://hauntedselves.tumblr.com/post/715822672943202304/schizoid-defences-omnipotence-and-grandiosity

now, does dark sun genuinely believe he’s great/superior? honestly idk LMAO if anyone has any idea lmk

ANYWAYS, this is probably really jumbled (rip) but i tried my best. i’m just a guy with szpd who thinks it’s Really Neat when characters display symptoms of a disorder i have

i hope you enjoyed my Thoughts 🐐

Hi and thanks for the ask! And it actually makes a lot of sense as to why you would think he has ScPD considering it's commonly mixed up with ASPD by the general public.

Firstly, I think it's important to recognize that ScPD is a Cluster A disorder, and ASPD (his canon diagnosis) is a Cluster B disorder. The two clusters have similar but different criteria and generalized behaviors.

Both disorders involve difficulties in social interactions. ScPD individuals have discomfort in close relationships and may exhibit eccentric behaviors, while those with ASPD may disregard others' rights and engage in manipulative or deceitful behavior. People with ScPD may exhibit paranoid thoughts and suspiciousness, which can superficially resemble the manipulative and distrustful behaviors seen in ASPD.

ScPD is characterized by eccentric behavior, odd beliefs, and social anxiety. In contrast, ASPD involves a lack of empathy, disregard for social norms, and manipulative or anti-social behavior. Individuals with ScPD often behave oddly due to cognitive distortions and discomfort in social situations, not intending harm. Those with ASPD often act with intentional disregard for others' rights and may engage in harmful behavior without remorse.

Mental health professionals use structured diagnostic tools and criteria (like those in the DSM-5) to distinguish between these disorders accurately. This process includes detailed interviews, psychological assessments, and consideration of the individual's history and behavior patterns. This second part is especially important because if you look at the DSM-5 criteria a lot of behaviors are generalized and therefore a lot of different specific behaviors get glossed over. This is how I ended up with an autism diagnosis (I am not autistic in the slightest) and almost got shackled with a BPD diagnosis too because the people diagnosing me weren't taking the time to figure out what I was actually like and listening to the general behaviors.

Misunderstanding can occur in non-clinical settings due to a lack of detailed knowledge about the specific features of each disorder. The term "personality disorder" itself can lead to confusion, as people might assume all personality disorders have similar characteristics. Media often portrays individuals with personality disorders in a sensationalized manner. For example, characters with ASPD are frequently depicted in media as violent criminals or masterminds, while those with SCPD might be shown as eccentric loners or “weirdos.” These portrayals lack the nuance of real-life experiences and can lead to stereotypical views that do not accurately represent the spectrum of symptoms or the daily challenges faced by individuals with these disorders.

Some symptoms can appear similar across different personality disorders, leading to confusion. For instance, both ASPD and SCPD can involve social difficulties, but for very different reasons. Without a thorough understanding of the specific criteria for each disorder, people might conflate the two or misinterpret behaviors.

I think it's important to remember that as far as canon goes, he was labeled with ASPD from the get-go, and they have been extremely consistent with portraying ASPD traits in his character. However, as far as fanon goes, do whatever you want bro. I'm in full support of having headcanons and such.

As far as superiority, survey says yes. However, not in the sense of grandiosity that comes with arrogance or the belief that one is better than others which is commonly associated with disorders like NPD and ScPD, as well as others. I actually talked about what it's like for someone with ASPD/low empathy in this regard and I'll go ahead and grab that.

Fourthly, as someone who believes themself to be both superior and inferior of their peers at most all times, but never an equal, as well as having experience with other's who are similar to myself in nature, I will have to debunk that last statement entirely. You cannot feel superior to something if you do not understand it, because how else are you able to make that judgement. Most often people who genuinely know that they are above their peers understand their peers more than their peers understand themselves, and it is not a snobbish, arrogant superiority, but rather a knowledge, deep and lonesome in nature, that you will be lucky to chance upon another who can match your own understanding. It is not a cruel, vindictive behavior, but rather the turn of pages and the avoidance of others because they exhaust you by being overly concerned with things that you know have no real importance. People around you are tedious at worst, and amusing at best. There is a difference between genuinely being superior and being casted in this knowledge that is fact, and considering yourself better than another person. More often than not those who are genuinely above others in their understanding are the ones who are most aware that they are then rendered as less than, for they can no longer comfortably exist among their peers, and as humans are social creatures, one who cannot do such at ease are cast aside by the crowds as well. It creates both a hermit and a pariah out of a being.

This specific snippet was from a debate about Gemini having low empathy but also applies to characters (and people) with ASPD.

Also thank you for coming in here to share! I think you raise a lot of good points that would have been extremely relevant and informative, and still are extremely informative. Maybe not as relevant however since we already know that Helios is canonically ASPD, haha. However, it was so nice to hear your thoughts and about you're experiences (indirectly), so thank you so much for sharing (again)!

[weaselweaselw]

Deltarune: Why Gaster has a Split Personality

Holy shit... so, in case you're living under a rock, the Deltarune Winter Newsletter came out last night, and its release sent ripples throughout the entire UT/DR fandom.

Included in the Newsletter is a development update which states that Chapter 3 is pretty much complete.

The only aspect of the chapter still being worked on is the localization process from English to Japanese – the entire team is now working on Chapter 4. So that's nice - they even have an internal deadline for the actual game, so we can expect a release within the next year and a half.

However, the main selling point of this entire newsletter was the fact that it's themed around Valentine's Day. And as a result, there were a lot of Valentine's Day letters sent from the various Undertale and Deltarune characters. Here's one from Undyne:

Here's a list of all the letters. Some are short, some are more comical - but many of them reveal interesting things about these characters.

Especially one character in particular...

That's right! Even Gaster has a letter of his own! In fact, it's the rarest letter of them all that to my knowledge, only one person received, until minutes later, the letter itself was erased from Fangamer's website. However, the letter was archived in the nick of time.

Wow, so that was a lot, right? There's quite a bit to analyze here, from Gaster needing help, to him forgetting someone - and it certainly added fuel to the fire that is the deltarune theory community.

However, there's one particular debate taking place all over the internet right now, for you see... some people don't think that letter was sent by Gaster. For one, the tone of this letter doesn't match his usual scientific, detached, and robotic demeanor he's usually associated with. He appears much more down-to-earth, speaking in a much more formal way than he usually does. And for many in the fandom at the moment, that is enough ground to say this character isn't Gaster.

Despite how utterly insane and ridiculous this might sound to you, these people do bring up good points. And of course... these people also use the Japanese translation as evidence. In the Japanese version of Undertale and Deltarune, Gaster speaks in Katakana and Kanji, two rather complex and sophisticated alphabets, but in this letter, Gaster speaks in Hirigana - a more casual, laid-back, and simplistic alphabet, reflecting his demeanor.

So, what gives? Is this a different Gaster? Are there two Gasters at work here, who may or may not be at odds with one another? Is there going to be a Gaster War?

No. People seem to be forgetting something: Gaster was shattered across time and space, as revealed by Undertale.

This isn't just some figurative jargon - one of the Gaster Followers quite literally holds a piece of Gaster in his hand. I know this is often overlooked, but what do you think the psychological effects of this could be?

It would likely be an extremely traumatic experience, if I'm going to be honest - as parts of your mind and body become fragmented across the entire universe and across time itself. So: it's quite possible that Gaster simply has... a split personality.

There aren't two Gasters or anything ridiculous like that, but rather, the one Gaster we know has his mind scattered across the universe, quite literally fragmented - such that different aspects of his personality present themselves at different times. In fact, such a condition exists in the real world: it's called Dissociative Identity Disorder, and it is most often associated with trauma resulting in the compartmentalization of the mind into multiple personality states, otherwise known as alters.

These are not separate people - think of it like turning a light switch on and off, or closing a door. And this is my solution to this debate that has begun about Gaster - I like to think of it as a compromise, but Gaster having a split personality like this can really spice up the story a bit - and could even solve some of the lingering mysteries about what happened to the secret bosses, but as of now, this only exists as theory tape.

Thanks for tuning into my rant.

[omghallucinations]

San Chart Analysis: in the weeds edition

lunar nodes, degrees, fixed stars, final dispositors, basically all kind of deeper cuts.

i think when you only look at the planet in its sign it can really be misleading--it's like a cookbook. sugar in one dish will be completely different than sugar in something else. sure some people might have the energy of a sign expressed typically, but depending on placement, degree, interaction with other planets, that can manifest insanely differently. so that's why i'm not that interested in just planet/sign analysis!

just gotta start off with the topical. people usually get virgo risings wrong imo--this doesn't add to his rigidity at all, although it does usually make him a little bit like anxious and self-critical. any mercury ruled rising (gemini or virgo, both mutable signs) makes you twisty-turny with a lot of interesting and weird thoughts. some of the weirdest people i know are virgo rising (huge compliment).

virgo rising is a weirdo freak placement and people need to know the truth!!!!!

lunar nodes--his south node is in aquarius the fifth house, north node in leo in the 11th. interestingly, this is the same placement as wooyoung (definitely same signs, most likely the same houses too).

your south node is your foundational stuff, often past life assumptions, basically it's the soup from whence you came. you are comfortable here but it's not good for you to stay there. some charts don't even label this which is crazy but it's just opposite the north node. if it is labelled it looks like this: ☋

your goal/life path is your north node--you gotta grow this way to learn your soul's lessons. this one is what looks like an umbrella: ☊

VERY IMPORTANT: the lunar nodes are the arc of the moon. you cannot have one without the other. both of them are important and both of them can hold past life assumptions and both of them could teach you soul lessons. each node just leans one direction more than the other most of the time.

fifth house south node is a childlike person, highly romantic, kind of a pure person who desperately wants to be loved but constantly wants to sort of martyr themselves for no damn reason. they need to be less romantic and more objective, to think about the group and more universal concepts, basically to detach a bit and stop being so dramatic.

the aquarius-leo 5th-11th partnership is the same energy but inverted, which is really interesting. the 5th house is the "leo" house and the 11th house is the "aquarius" house, but the way leo expresses itself and the 5th house does is a little different. so it's almost like leo-aquarius versus aquarius-leo. whenever an energy in emphasized like this it's going to be extra essential to a person's life and personality.

the 11th house north node says it's time to think less about yourself and more about the community, and develop more of a personal philosophy. the leo north node is about the will and learning to be strong in yourself and celebrate/express yourself.

the 5th house south node says that his comfort zone is in childlike creativity, self-expression, romance, but also sort of too self-focused, it's all about me (and not just good things are my fault, everything bad is also my fault). the aquarius south node shows a desperate social need, but also feeling really lonely and isolated at times.

like an aquarius, this person will be individualistic and iconoclastic, to the point of rubbing people the wrong way sometimes. they're deeply fair and interested in change, possibilities. but there's that air sign flightiness--a detachment from the world, extremely future focused--always looking ahead. they want to stand tall and not be ridiculed for their beliefs--but they always kind of feel worried that they will be ridiculed for being themselves, so they're preemptively defensive.

i can see how san and wooyoung may have recognized this similar past life/foundational self quality in each other--romantic, idealistic, different and trying so hard to be confident about being different, sort of playing confident and almost aggressive about their individuality despite their intense vulnerability about it, desperately wanting to be loved and so easily feeling lonely or misunderstood.

chart energy can be channelled through the north node in the 11th house--community, societal change, thinking of life from an "us" perspective. the nodes are never about leaving the south node totally, but rather balancing the heavier south node with the north node, so the south node is still important. san still has the past life need for originality and freedom in the fifth house--creativity, passion, joy, love, children.

hilariously, his lunar nodes are basically saying "don't show off too much or always try to be the center of attention, beware of getting too much recognition and admiration, also you need to be the center of attention and express your creativity and receive recognition and admiration." a fine line!

the crux is the balance between belonging to a group and expressing his own identity, of having a healthy ego without a... too healthy ego. if he's not careful, san can truly think he is the center of the world--again, all about me in many ways, including EVERYTHING that has EVER GONE WRONG is because of ME and it's MY FAULT!!!! because of my INHERENT BADNESS!! he has to learn to forgive himself and understand that the world is big, and he's just one person.

his astrology is so weird and interesting. he's a complex person with a lot of contrasting energies. he's simultaneously

staid and traditional and stalwartly inflexibly moral

a loose cannon who wants all of the attention

very emotional and almost childlike in a way

constantly doing a bit of a subconscious power struggle with everyone around him despite feeling like he is actually the vulnerable player, even if he actually isn't

uranus conjunct his south node/opposite north node--he already felt different as a child, probably experienced a changing childhood environment in some way. can be rebellious for no particular reason and feel trapped, which people don't always understand. san's "comfort zone" or past life foundational beliefs about himself and the world are changeable, with bursts of energy, creative, different, iconoclastic. people don't understand his motivations a lot of the time (thinking about hongjoong not understanding san's motives lmao).

saturn forms an exact square to his nodes, so it's the base of a t-square--the theory here is usually that the discomfort between the two sides was so strong that it forced him to make a fresh start through the point of the t-square, saturn in the 9th house of independent thought and ideas. saturn is the big player in this negotiation: it can lead him out of old thinking or keep him there. he has high standards, ambitions, a huge work ethic but also a sense of constraint or restriction which keeps him from freely changing and growing. it's like being anchored in tradition, kind of, but in the 9th house of personal philosophy or belief san really genuinely believes all of it, which makes the social conditioning harder to shake. it gives him a rigidity, especially with saturn square uranus. he probably adheres to traditional societal ideals too much, even subconsciously, despite being a rebellious person in many ways--and this holds him back a lot.

another big player is mars, who is at home in scorpio (traditional rulership). this is his final dispositor--basically his chart "big boss". his other big boss is uranus, at home in aquarius for modern rulership--i usually tend to place this a bit below traditional rulership but i think it's still influential. his chart ruler is still mercury, but everything sort of acts through mars. he's mars dominant (traditional astrology) also, with majority fire and fixed placements, which gives him a taurus flavor or vibe.

venus is 1 degree conjunct to regulus, one of the 4 royal fixed stars--regulus is "heart of the lion", and usually indicates fame, success, glory, but also possible or probable big falls. big ego takes a tumble is a cycle he will see in his life a bunch of times, probably.

one point about his sun--people see cancer and think ah, water sign, maternal, emotional, and yeah, sure, in a way, but crabs have claws and a hard shell. cancers are not wishy-washy, at all. they're a cardinal sign--a starter sign, an act first sign. he's also in the second decan, which is a moon-mercury decan, adding more weight to the mercury energy. it can also be really weird-feeling to have the sun in cancer, who represents the moon. similar to having a leo moon, it's an inherently confusing dynamic.

so san's major players are, in my subjective order of influence:

1. the leo-aquarius axis. an intense amount of his life bounces between these two points--self-expression/ego and community, cool detachment and dramatic romance, loving being different and hating being different. aquarius and leo both have a lot of points/planets, and so does the 11th house and, to a lesser extent, the 5th house. this energy is very strong for him. 1. mars (in rulership, at 1 which is a mars/aries degree). san's gonna express a lot of things through action. he's a pretty intense guy, passionate, when he gets angry it's a real event and a half. never backs down. 2. uranus (in modern rulership in aquarius). i would have put uranus further down the list except it has by far the most aspects (conversations w other planets) both by number and by important type. uranus has its fingers in almost everything in san's chart! he is different than other people and can tell that he is different, he wants to break free from established societal conditioning (although finds this difficult due to saturn's influence) and feels almost detached at times. tbh he has some past life stuff weighing him down that expresses unconsciously a lot of the time--you know when you have a strong as fuck reaction to something minor for no obvious reason? like that. 3. mercury (rules ascendant). he's chatty, curious, changeable, interested in the world. mercury is in leo so this is expressed in a fun, bright, creative way. with his virgo ascendant, his curiosity and interest is often pretty, like. picky. discerning. yes to this no to this. detail-oriented. pretty judgmental, god i bet he's awesome to gossip with. "hey can i be a bitch for a second" like hell yes bro. still it's not even personal like he'll say something bitchy, truly not mean it in a mean way, and somehow maintain a kind of pure heart? weird!! fascinating!!

4. pluto (conjunct IC w 5 degree orb) -- IC is the hidden self, the at-home deep foundational self, it's qualities you don't show to other people often but are deeply felt. the IC may or may not be very important, but if a planet is conjunct the IC it becomes pretty foundational, even if you aren't fully aware of it. pluto (transformation, intensity, power and power struggles) is essential to san's personality. he is probably very possessive, power is extremely important to him (although it is most likely subconscious) and he is certainly not afraid of diving deep or getting intense very fast. 5. moon (rules the sun, at highest point on his chart) -- people see san's moon--it's only 8 degrees away from his MC (public self in gemini, he is known for duality, etc) and it rules his sun in cancer. people notice his vulnerability, compassion, deep feelings, the complicated ups and downs that he truly cannot keep off of his face. it's also in gemini, so changeability is king. even though it's the most visible, though, it is not the most influential. people notice and see his moon or emotions/personality/self but most of the time they do not notice his pluto (intensity, power struggles) which is actually more influential. 6. sun --i tend to think that a planet who is kind of uncomfortable adds influence just like a planet that is comfortable. san's deeply felt emotions, shell and snap snap claws are also a bigger player. he also has a hefty amount of leo energy, which makes the sun more important.

he really is a fairly complex person. he's gonna have to negotiate with a lot of conflicting energy throughout his life, and his gemini qualities mean that he'll often bounce between extremes. it's cool to see how important self-expression, creativity, individuality, etc, are to him--very fitting for a performer. so interesting how his performance quality really shows a lot of his actual personality/"soul journey" if u excuse the cheesy phrasing--truly can't think of another way to explain the vibe.

[hey-hey-j]

so today we've made it to How to Train Your Dragon 2 and..... IDK it's better than Hidden World? It's not actively terrible but it's still a dreadfully bland, boring movie with none of the soul of the original.

for a movie that banks its entire premise around Hiccup reuniting with his long-lost mother, Valka sure feels like an afterthought to her own narrative. She's Hiccup's mom, and.... really, it doesn't feel like the writers put much thought into her beyond that. She's not really integrated into the plot that well, either—every scene she's in feels so detached from the main Drago conflict that you forget that plot is happening in the first place, and it doesn't help that the movie itself forgets to make her relevant by the third act. What does Valka do in the story after Stoick dies? I couldn't tell you, the movie doesn't seem interested in her beyond that scene! And it sucks because there are interesting directions they could've taken Valka, it just feels like the movie chose to play it safe and keep her boring.

(and like, I'm nit-picking here but I really don't like Valka's character design either the first movie promised me a burly mountain of a woman and now you present me with this waif?? This is a woman who has wrestled with dragons for 20 years where are her gains??? Where are her scars??? Why does she look 20 years younger in Hidden World I'm getting off track)

where was I. I wanted to say something about Drago uuhhhh..... I don't think he's that interesting of a villain actually he's kinda boring and one-dimensional and I don't think the movie's theme of "good dragons controlled by bad people do bad things" really works when the first movie had the Green Death as its final boss but whatever, we already know the sequels have no respect for the original.

I'm running out of things to say I'm just gonna conclude by saying that For the Dancing and the Dreaming is the only genuinely good thing to come out of this movie it's sweet I like it

[valkyrieblogs]

doing a concurrent reread in both english and japanese! i wanted to do some more character analysis this time around since i've read everything that's out, and i also wanted to look a little closer at the japanese (since i originally just read this in english). posting about chapters 1-5 here. (also interpretations of characters definitely aren't fixed yet, so i'm still figuring them out.)

"even so, out of my own will... i loved someone i should not have."

in japanese the verb that satoko uses for "loved" is 愛してしまいました. しまう as auxiliary to indicate that her having loved someone is something regretful, which at least to me i read as being in deference to the reader of her letter. i'm also curious about the usage of past tense here rather than using something like ている to indicate that she still loves this person. i've seen some theories floating around about her letter at the beginning here, but my personal theory that i subscribe to is that she's writing this on her deathbed, and the past tense is due to her likely death upon the letter being received. the only other scenario i can picture is one where shinpei was killed and she really did get his heart in the end.

lsjkdglkjlj the way that we see her already relating to things w shorter lifespans!!

also thinking about the way that shinpei is so casually chatty... why offer food to the person you're about to kill? it's like the planned act of killing satoko is separated from interacting with satoko at this moment. to me it really shows this... detachment? he's being kind by offering food, but he'll still kill her when the time comes. he's seemingly curious about why she's getting killed, but i don't think he has any attachment to her answer either way. it comes across as casually social while being incredibly detached from the person he's actually interacting with. it's probably an extension of his lack of empathy at this point. it just makes me wonder what motivates his interactions with others at this point.

god, satoko... the way that even being faced w sexual assault, her first thought is still on how it impacts her marriage prospects... it's awful the way that it's become her priority over all else in life.

thinking about what it does to a person to be raised on that island and how it impacts socialization. also the way that he sees his value as primarily being what he is able to do... how he is a tool and a weapon. i was talking a little about this on the hny discord where i think about shinpei and his lack of understanding of love as a concept, and how on the island love = sex = commodity = transaction, and how that has to influence his (lack of) understanding of it. his mother being a prostitute (and being killed when he was so young), too...

lsjkdgljsklgj i love that it's not enough to suggest marriage of convenience for access to what she has through her family, but she decides that she has to convince shinpei she's in love with him. which makes sense! if she's trying to cultivate a reason for him not to kill her! he's established that he'll be bought out with money, but he doesn't believe her declaration lksjgdlj so the assets somehow lose out to the promise of the marriage itself, which means there is something about a relationship he might actually want? at this time...

actually okay yeah the fact that money = priority up until she proposes and then he seems genuinely more interested in the concept of getting married to her and her interest in him than anything else. he ignores her comments about nobility in favour of asking what exactly she likes about him.

yeah god he seems like. genuinely into it when she's answering him desperately about things she likes about him.

i know satoko gets hurt by him later on when she realizes that he would be happy with anyone that accepts him for who he is (and i do think part of the reason he's interested here is because she's making these declarations after knowing what he does and seeing him maim people) but i do genuinely think that's part of his thought process right now. someone who accepts him... to me it's entirely about that and not about attraction. (until it is something he is attracted to, anyway, but i feel like that hasn't clicked for him at this point.)

YEAH okay so the fact that he even clearly loses interest once he clarifies that it's a loveless marriage that she's proposing...

i do also think it's really interesting that after that, she asks him if there's anything else that's useful to him, but he's not interested in things that are useful to him! which....... man. to me it says a lot about the way that satoko thinks about her own value in that her connections are the only thing OF value (not satoko herself). i wonder how aware shinpei is of himself being a tool, too.

thinking about this line (when she's objecting to kissing shinpei initially) now in light of chapter 35... she really does keep having these boundaries of what she considers acceptable pushed. obviously kissing =/= sex here, and she just doesn't want to kiss him in this scene... but.

goddd thinking about the negotiation that's going on here. "it's fine if you don't want to." "and if i refuse?" "then i'll just kill you when i'm supposed to." all the really dubious consent that ends up happening particularly early on, especially because of the circumstances that satoko's trapped in... the situation with her autonomy is really fascinating to me. in so many ways she's had little-to-no control over her own life, starting already with her disability. then dedicating her life to repaying her father (and viewing it as her personal desire) rather than considering if she may have wants outside of that, because she can't act greedy. the way that she downplays her illness for others (and to give herself a little more freedom than she has), too. and then she gets into this situation. it's interesting in that there are strong limitations on any choices she makes right now, and while entering into this arrangement with shinpei could be seen as coercion when she's threatened with death otherwise, he also doesn't... force her? he isn't going out of his way to save her if she doesn't agree, but it is ultimately up to her, and these are all choices that satoko is making. even if her scope for making decisions right now is, again, incredibly limited under these circumstances.

it also reveals a lot about shinpei's wants that other than money, this is the only term he'll accept for saving her instead of completing his job. (and he quickly prizes the concept of marrying her and her feelings towards him over anything else that comes with that marriage, so money is definitely not the ultimate priority for him, anyway.)

god and the way he gets cruel to her when he thinks it's a lie. but how that just ends up bolstering her resolve when he mocks her, saying that she has no worries about the future...

the way we see light in his eyes for the first time when she wipes his mouth and he realizes she is not refusing him after all. aaaaaAAA

AND the way it's revealed he really was testing her!! that he's surprised she would still kiss him after he killed all those people!!

he's playful and childish, but he's also savvy, too... especially in these early chapters.

GOD the way he seems to like the mirroring of how both of them have uncertain lifespans and he isn't... too concerned w the idea that she'll die soon (bc she doesn't seem ill right now). the way that he even plays with it, thanking her illness, asking if she'll go to hell with him... commenting on her proximity to death and how that must be why she can be okay with him.

lkjsdglksjglkj god him mocking her when she starts saying "oh my dad might not agree to this". the way that he's just...... playing a game with her right now. toying with her. like this just seems fun to him.

"the kiss and the bath were the same. even though he knows i can't refuse, he keeps making me decide."

yeah like this!!! it's so interesting. it really does feel like a game when he's watching her responses here, knowing that she can't afford to say no, but forcing her make the choice nonetheless. "like he's confirming my affection for him." yeah. it's a test. a test and a game. he genuinely wants her to say yes, to play along, to keep confirming those affections—but it's a test every time to prove her affections to him. but it is what he wants from her, ultimately. that's his motivation. he has to keep Testing.

"please save me. you're the only one i can rely on."

thinking a lot about how this early phase of the relationship is entirely transactional and relies on what shinpei can do for satoko. and that it is entirely appealing to his strength and ability to protect her.

hmm and flipping it so now that she's decided his comment about how his life isn't enjoyable IS actually about him and not her. does he actually not enjoy his life? it's difficult to tell just because of how manipulative he's being in these early chapters, but. outwardly his life doesn't exactly seem great. part of what i'm missing about shinpei right now is an understanding of his inner life, and that's why i feel like i'm mostly grappling for an understanding of him rather than satoko. (although i feel like i'll definitely do another read-through where i do focus almost exclusively on satoko, because i adore her.)

god her comment about the heart is so interesting at this point and the gall of saying it to him.

and then ANOTHER test when he leaves w the prostitutes, making that comment about how it seems like he has to die after he gets out of here. so finally she gets her response to the comment about the heart... in the english translation she starts to say, "i never said you'd die!" but in the japanese she's just asking him to wait. so i feel like his reaction makes more sense in light of what was written originally—it's why he isn't placated.

it's also interesting that when he tests her and leaves her here, she does anything BUT continue to try and appeal to shinpei, instead trying to get attention from literally anyone else. which probably makes him feel useless, also! that she has the will to keep trying and planning and figuring things out without him! the way this backfires on him, particularly when she gets all this attention from people with her dance, and they start crowding her... so he has to drop it and relent. but like. i think he's genuinely captivated by the look she gives him in this scene and it makes him stop testing her (at this moment).

the way that it just feels like this look of, "i'll get by without you if i have to." but he doesn't want that.

"why did you go with them?" "i just wanted to stand and chat a bit." "lies. weren't you just enjoying my reaction?" in jpn -> comments on how he's enjoying her reaction AGAIN, acknowledging the previous tests out loud "you're right." so it's interesting he agrees to it.

her declaration of, "i'm fine if you're not the one who saves me"!!!! god i love the way she feels so independent here.

THE WAY HE ACKNOWLEDGES HIS FAULT FOR TESTING HER/PLAYING WITH HER!!!! like. i really do feel like the dance scene is where he pivots a bit. for her proving she can get by without him, and also (i think) for it making him actually attracted to her. i think he prob also appreciates her cunning about it? that she can play at this game, too.

like!!! satoko isn't just passively going along with things.

god the way that in jpn he doesn't say "forgive me" but "I WANT YOU TO FORGIVE ME" it feels so direct and impolite.

okay yeah i'm not just making this up because even satoko notices the change in demeanor where he isn't just blatantly messing with her anymore. he's decided he is actually attracted to her and doesn't want her going off with other men or relying on anyone but him.

i'm using "attracted" but i'm really only thinking about it in a physiological sense; i still don't think he has the capacity to understand his relationship with her beyond that at this point.

i also wonder if this scene just activated his jealousy a bit for the first time, too.

reading the (outdoor) firefly scene and thinking a lot about how they've both had constraints on their lives in different ways. shinpei unable to leave the island; satoko barely being able to leave the estate in general, and only when accompanied. i love how being here is, in some ways, a chance for her to experience so many things she was never able to before as nobility? (particularly disabled nobility.)

chewing on glass. the english line is "my body is yours to treat as roughly as you please" BUT THE JAPANESE LINE "consider my body as your tool. so it doesn't matter if you use it roughly." there was a game i was into years ago where the english kept removing the (very intentional) repetition of 道具/tool and i see that's happened here too lksjgdlj (i understand why! i know it's because in english it's more unnatural to repeat things all the time!) anyway i really like that he really does refer to his body as a tool. it's good. love that thematically.

godddd the part where she apologizes to him and it shows the way he was going to try and help her in the bath and also wanting to join her in her futon. he really does get obsessed with her after that dance scene, huh.

aaaAAAAAA i love shinpei talking about her being in constant danger would make him indispensable to her. like!!!!! the way he needs to be needed. he knows how to be a weapon and nothing else and he wants to be used (by her).

HE'S SUCH!!!! a sulky brat here. i love him. that way that he pulls this every time satoko starts being avoidant in any way about actually marrying him. i love her 100% not indulging him in this moment, though. it's so good. like!!! i just appreciate so much the way that she's still so strong-headed in her interactions with him. particularly despite how dangerous he can be, and the way that she knows she has to rely on him. she still feels, in many ways, so true to herself?? it's a really interesting dynamic, particularly with the way he's so manipulative, too. i love that she doesn't just submit to it. (and even when she does, she knows what she's doing.) it just!! makes her feel like she has more agency even if that's not necessarily true. and makes their dynamic really good to me.

okay trying to split this up by volume as i reread so these posts don't get too long. anyway. um. IF PEOPLE WANNA DISCUSS STUFF, PLEASE, i am so open to chatting about things