#just change out the fucking loser in the poster

[inkyquince]

Inky!! Miguel news!!

Apparently Miguel was going to be worst of an asshole but decided to tame it down 🤭

https://thedirect.com/article/spider-verse-2-oscar-isaac-spider-man-2099-changes

~doki

I ALSO READ THAT!! IT MAKES ME VERY HYPE FOR THE THIRD MOVIE NEXT YEAR!!

legitmately, i am excited cuz he doesnt seem liek he's going to be a stupid fuckin mcu villain whose about as 2d as they get. so far he's got a sexy ass backstory, and temperament SO IM EXCITED TO SEE HOW IT PANS OUT

[gremlingottoosilly]

Lego still not sponsoring me (dark!Konig x fem!Reader)

Konig is a nerd who needs to get sprayed with water for being a fucking creep. You're an adorable cashier at the Lego Store in Berlin who doesn't know any better and is too nice to lose. He will have you. Mostly because he wants someone to do his Lego sets with.

Details count: 2922 AO3 TW and Tags: Dub-con/Non-con, age gap, size difference, kidnapping, awkward colonel Konig, nerd Konig, hurt/comfort, Konig's POV(mostly), awkward German, yandere Konig.

You didn’t want to build Millenium Falcon with him. 

You didn’t want to shower or eat, you didn’t want to do anything besides crying, and even though your tears, as he expected, were beautiful and adorable, it was kinda hard for König to take care of your mental and physical needs while he was rock hard from watching you cry so sweetly. 

König is patient, kind, and a model citizen through and through. Why are you upset? He is doing everything he can, just to make you smile! Seriously, Schatzi, the desire to make him as miserable as you possibly can doesn’t make you pretty or cute or even the least bit adorable. Good thing that he is used to feeling sad and kinda of bullied – you’re lucky he doesn’t even try to feel good anymore. Not in his destiny book to live a good life. — I brought food. 

You groan lightly, whimpering somewhere in the corner of his basement. To your justification, his basement is a bit dirty. He forgot to visit the house for months after deployment, which was never enough to fill out the blanks of loneliness in the empty rooms. His dogshits methods of choosing decorations also made the mere existence in the house a hard mission even in itself. He looked at the anime posters in the guest rooms, which made him want to sell the property to anyone willing to pay 50 Euros for the processing fees. The posters(Sword Art Online because why the hell not, he likes cool swords and a power fantasy about a loser getting the chick) and artwork of his queen and savior, The Busty Blond Lady From Fate because, unlike those waifu-obsessed freaks, he did have a life and not enough time to actually remember her name. Something about light sabers. Or cats. — Are you going to kill me? 

He sighs because you sound like a broken record. All the time – the questions about his intentions, like you can’t see the tent in his pants every time you open your eyes, about letting you go, about at least allowing you to text your family that you decided to change your country of residence and would need to revoke your German visa. You’re way more soft than he thought you’d initially be – no fighting, no arguing, just pure terror and desire to die every time his hands brush over you. König is a sweet guy, as sweet as someone like him can be – but he only has a few weeks until his next mission, and even a few days of your moping around is bound to make him not just blue-balled, but also very, extremely, offensively hot-headed. 

He spent two days with you chained up in his basement and, he thinks, that should be enough for foreplay. He is extremely generous and kind – usually, at this point, he’d already start breaking the fingers of whoever poor fuck is his torture victim for the mission. 

— I don’t want to kill you. 

You whimper – somehow, his answer didn’t calm you down. Fucking women and their inability to talk to their kidnappers – he considers spiking your food just this once, so he could have a nice session with your little drunk self and some roofies but, of course, he is a nice guy who brought you takeout in a reheatable container, with a cute plastic fork and some sparkling water in a glass, just so you won’t feel like he is making you eat some garbage. It’s good food, too – he’d love to cook like this, but the heights of his skills are runny eggs and burnt coffee. He hopes you like the Italian because it’s the most inoffensive stuff he could have brought you without resorting to pizza and cup noodles. He will never let you eat cup noodles on his watch. 

— Are you going to rape me? 

He can’t exactly say no because, as a matter of fact, pulling your cute body under his is one of his intentions. He wanted to do it since he was you in this fucking store, but, of course. saying this to a pretty girl is lame. And completely counter-productive. And would make him a villain in your eyes, even though he tries so fucking hard to be a hero. He can make you feel good if you were to just open your pretty legs for him and moan under his tongue – god knows, he wants to make you feel good. He wonders what would it take for him to please you. If he could have a full-time job at this. 

— Nein. Thought I told you already. 

— I don’t…I shouldn’t believe you. 

He shook his head, pushing the plate(he had to go out of his way to actually put the pasta from the tray to a proper plate, enjoy this, woman) towards you. You’re adorable like this – naked, trembling, a bit too weak to actually fight him over not eating anything for the past two days – you’re repeating the same conversation over and over again and König wouldn’t mind living in a groundhog day if the loop would end with his fucking you on that thin mattress each time. 

Speaking of mattresses – he needs to get you a thicker one. 

Speaking of thicker mattresses – he needs to relocate you into his bedroom as soon as possible. 

Speaking of his bedroom – he is fucking bricked. 

— If you don’t trust me, why do you ask? 

You bite your lips. He can see you’re hungry and thirsty – he doesn’t want to forcefully feed you, so, yeah, you better be very hungry very soon. He pushes the plate towards you, hoping you won’t launch it on his head. He survived worse, a 6’4 British dude in a ski mask falling on him with the speed of Brexit, but getting hit by a plate when your angry girlfriend is being an angry girlfriend is…the best thing that could ever happen to him, actually. Gott, he is miserable. 

— I…I don’t know. Don’t want to get killed. 

— I won’t kill you. 

— But you will hurt me. 

— I don’t have to do that, Liebling. 

No, he doesn’t. 

But he sees the way your plushy thighs are squeezing into that tiny corner where your mat is, your squishy body getting all shaky and trembly, your lips in a tight line with tiny blood droplets from biting on them too much – and, by his fucking god, you’re beautiful. He wants to make you wet, to make you squirm, to make you beg and cry for mercy as he pounds into the sweetness of your cunt. He wants to try you on the inside and out, lick you all over from the inside, and then make you lick your love juices from his lips. 

König knows he is hard and can’t really hide it – it’s useless now, really, he is being very nice and considerate to you. Changing your life is hard, especially with how quickly you moved to his place – like a good boyfriend, he should help you adjust. And aid you in recognizing that he is, in fact, your boyfriend and future husband. The perfect partner to ever exist. — What is it? 

— Pasta. It’s…it’s good. Should be good. He is nervous, anxious. Seeing a pretty girl in her natural habitat – a Lego store – is one thing. He was barely able to talk to you properly, especially right after his deployment, where the only female attention he ever got was Roze asking to cover her or additional female soldiers groaning in pain as he stomped them. But you…he shouldn’t be colonel around you – absolutely not. You’re soft and civilian, you’re as polite as a girl in a basement could be, and you deserve to have something nice for once in your life. Licking his lips, König gently picks up a fork and presses a small amount of pasta – rich, creamy, with some nice cheese that smells divine - -against your lips. 

You refuse.

A smart move, he could have poisoned it – so he thinks for a few seconds, staring at you like a smart girlie you are, and then – lifts his hood. If only barely, revealing his scarred chin and bruised lips. The initial swelling after getting his head bumped by a guy who was speaking like an edgy teenager in the Counter-Strike lobby was already gone by the time he managed to get you into his basement – but no amount of rest could hide all other marks from his job. 

Despite being a seasoned mercenary with hundreds of killed targets and completed objectives, he feels…insecure. You’re a nice girl, a good girl, the type that used to look at him with hatred while he was bullied at school. Hatred or pity – but you only look at him with fear, and it cements his understanding that you’re not going to give in to loving him so easily.

König sighs deeply, his lips, curved into that awkward, boyish smile that creeps on his face every time he as much as thinks about you, now transforming into a scowl as you proceed to whimper and try to get lost in the wall behind you. Like he wouldn’t be able to track your scent if you would disappear. He slowly presses his fork towards his mouth, chewing on the food – showing you that it’s not poisoned. 

He smiles again when he sees you slowly parting your lips, expecting him to feed you with less of a fuss. He’d propose something else – maybe even untying your hands and allowing you to actually for yourself, but something in your helpless state made his cock throb in his pants. God, König knows he isn’t his strongest soldier, but could he please make you less adorable? He doesn’t want to push you on your knees and make you suck on him until he whimpers, but the way you lick all of the cheese from your lips and try your best to look presentable in front of him… The process of feeding someone shouldn’t really be sexual, but König gently pushes the hair away from your face and lifts up the fork over and over, sometimes only changing to bring a glass of water to your lips. He can do this all day. Every day. Pleasing you already becomes second nature – and he spends most of his life thinking that the only thing he can take care of is his rifle and a few tortured enemies that need their teeth extracted. You require gentle handling – and he wants nothing more but to give you that. Just…a bit later. Preferably after the already came in your pussy at least two or three times and made you choke on his dick as a little thank-you gift. 

You finish eating after a short while, thanking him for bringing you a napkin to clean your lips. König gently caresses your head, enjoying the sensation of your hair under his palm – it’s like petting a cat. A soft little pet just for him and no one else – if only he could actually bring you to like him. He has a few bond activities in mind, though. — You liked it, ja? 

You lick your lips again, and his breath hitches. This is going to be hard, this is going to be impossible, it’s worse than having to work with high Krueger on a ship that made everyone feel like they were the ones doing crack in the backroom of their makeshift base. 

— I…I did. 

He pets your head again like you’re his pet – and you gently move your head to lean into his touch. Perhaps you’re dumber than he thinks. Or way smarter – a clever strategy to make him relax and nice to you without making him too suspicious. You slowly get back into your corner, but König wouldn’t have any of it – he drags you back by your arm, making you whimper and sob in his hold. It’s bad, he doesn’t want you to squirm from under him as much as you do, but…if you don’t want to be a good girl, he might as well force you to. 

You cry as he pushes you deep into the corner, his hands roaming over your body. Thank god he ripped your clothes before you woke up – now there isn’t anything protecting you from his hands, not even that adorable bra he ripped in pieces because, as much as he loved wearing a uniform with straps and buttons everywhere, he could not figure out how to take this thing off you without breaking it. The last time he was sleeping with a woman, she wore a sports bra that could be taken off easily. It’s your fault that you decided to be more girly, really. Not his. 

His hands cup your breasts roughly. Tugs and twists your nipples, a few shaky moans telling him exactly how sensitive you are – he might not have a girl in a hot minute, too busy with being the best freaking mercenary in the world, but even he knows how to take care of a pretty thing like you. Your tits fit in his hands perfectly, even more, reasons to believe you were just made for him. Not for some lame job at a Lego store counter – you should be waiting on your knees in his bedroom, with your mouth open wide and neat to fit his cock right in. With some sweet things lingering on your tongue as he bullies himself right in, getting what he deserves for protecting peace – and installing violence – while doing his job. He might not be the best freaking guy around, but he deserves something nice. 

He pinches your nipples until they’re firm and swollen, every little cry escaping from your lips is only encouraging him to proceed. Licks on the open skin of your neck until his eneve stubble makes you whimper from how sensitive you are – it should be painful, he thinks, with how bloody the little bite marks from his teeth have become. 

König marks you as thoroughly as possible, smiling each time you cry and beg for him to stop. You’re changing between bad German and good English, between loud cries and small whimpers, which he can’t determine from pleasure to pain. Not like he cares, too determined to make you cry his name – even though you probably don’t know it. All of his desires to claim you taking full power now, not listening to the way you plead with him. Whimper for him. Your skin is a clear canvas, allowing him to paint you with hickeys and marks, enjoying the little blood droplets covering your collarbones. 

— Quiet, please. Don’t…don’t move, Schatzi. I don’t want to hurt you. 

— Please, please, just…anything but… — Won’t take long. Promise. 

— I don’t want to- — Quiet. I know you don’t, Liebling. Just…Scheisse, you…fuck. 

— Stop! — Can’t. I apologize, Schatzen. Relax for me, ja?

He whispers, he whimpers, he is almost out of his mind when he can finally put his tongue on your swollen nipples. For some weird, depraved reason, he almost expects the milk to start flowing from your chest, allowing him to drink up as much as he wants. If he could get you pregnant, he might enjoy it for a few months – although having a kid on his hip isn’t as fun as it could have. He tried to babysit Hutch kids once when he brought them to base – and it was the worst fucking day of his life. Besides, little children can’t be around Legos – it's already a deal breaker for someone like him. 

Speaking of legos…

You wiggle in his grasp, as good as you can with your hands still in the handcuffs – he should give you that one, at least you aren’t just laying lifelessly in front of him. At least you’re putting up a fight. At least he doesn’t feel too bad about restraining you without proper reasoning. You lick your lips again, that cute tongue of yours going over all the bite marks. You take a deep breath, shaking in his hold. God, he can just look in your face the whole day – barely knows how to handle himself around you. — I…I thought you wanted to…build this set with me? Smart girl. Way smarter than he gave you credit for – you know how to make him stop in his tracks and finally look at you differently. Maybe, you’re too good for him. Maybe, he doesn’t really care about that. Millennium Falcon, still sitting in the box – König hoped you’d start slowly putting it together but, seemingly, you need a bit of encouragement. The only thing that could tug him away from your breasts is the expensive set sitting just next to him. 

Might start bonding with you as well. He tugs away from your nipples with a loud pop, an obnoxiously wet sound emerging as a thin line of saliva connects your breasts and his tongue. You whimper when he smiles, that scarred face of his twisting in a huge grin. Knows he’s not the most charming person around, but it’s not like you have any choice now – not with the limited options he gave you. Like a good girl, you’d probably pick doing Lego Sets with him than taking his cock in that tight pussy of yours. He’d be satisfied with any outcome. — J…ja. I’d like that.  He has to give this one to you – you really know how to get a man going.

Bu building this insane set with him, that is.

[starlightsuffered]

Dirty Little Secret

Info - best friends brother, coming easily, squirting, stripping, teasing, hard Dom Timothée, degrading, breeding kink, daddy kink, secret fucking, biting ass, creampie, spit kink

Pauline was a good friend. We enjoyed playing video games together or cooking something nice. Upcycling, thrifting, and sewing were also things we did.

I always got flustered when her brother came around though, Gorgeous, gorgeous Timothèe. He was so cool and kind and sweet. Sometimes he'd come back from a jog and be dripping with sweat. I had to always hide my arousal when that happened.

"What's up y/n?" The devil himself said politely at the door.

"P-Pauline," | stuttered. I wasn't able to say anything else.

"Oh she is out, she promised mom she'd do some shopping and didn't get around to it until the last minute," Timothée chuckled. He leaned easily against the door frame. How was he so effortlessly cool?

"I should go then," I said robotically.

"What? Don't talk like that," he scoffed and grabbed me. He was pulling me in the house before I could protest.

"I don't want to intrude," I said awkwardly.

"Intrude? You're practically family," he chuckled. Family, that was the last thing I wanted to be to Timothée Hal Chalamet.

"Come on, I was just playing a video game. I'll set up a two player," he offered. I nodded slightly. I couldn't believe this was happening.

Timothée set everything up and our hands brushed when he handed me a controller. It was a racing game.

Normally, I was decent, but with my nerves I was miserable.

"Oh yeah I'm on your ass," Timothée half growled, his shoulder nudging into me. My pussy leaked. No, not now!

He would think I was so weird.

"Take that," he chuckled darkly. Slick wetted my pussy lips. I was panting. He kept nudging me and bantering in a way that sounded no where near innocent.

"Suck my dick!" He crowed as he passed me, a whole lap ahead of me. My mouth fell open without me even thinking about it. I was so turned on.

"I fucking win," he shouted as he crossed the finished line. Before I knew what was happening he'd bowled me over.

"Loser," he teased. I was dizzy as I felt his crotch pressed against me.

"Take it, take it," he goaded I didn't even know what he was on about. Finally, I couldn't hold back anymore as he lightly pulled my hair. I lost it. I let out a pathetic moan as I came hard. My orgasms were always intense and they made me shake.

"Y/n?" Timothée said slowly. I was burning with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry," I squeaked.

"No, it's um, it's fine," he said. He didn't look upset or disgusted, he looked purely surprised.

"Come on, we have to get you to my sister's room," he said. He stood up and held out his hand.

"Why?" | asked suspiciously. I felt like I was being sent to the principals office.

"Well y/n," he chuckled. "Unless you'd like to have dinner with us and everyone knowing about your accident."

I looked down and saw that a stain was spreading. I had squirted! For some reason that didn't make me feel humiliated, it turned me on again.

"Come on, I'll get you panties," he said.

I followed him. To my surprise he zipped into Pauline's room, grabbed some clothes, and came out. He was now guiding me with a strong hand to his room. The whole situation was so odd that I didn't question him.

I'd never been in his room. It was pretty simple. He had some talent show trophies, a poster of Zendaya in a bikini, and some comic books.

"You'll need some shorts too, I got some when I was in there," he offered. "You know, you've got a great ass."

"I g-guess," | said. I couldn't believe he'd complimented me. He handed me the new clothing but didn't turn around or leave. It really seemed like he wanted me to change in front of him. The idea was scandalous and tempting. I reached for my waistband and Timothée gave me the tiniest of nods.

I peeled off my shorts, and then my panties. My pussy was dripping and there was a huge mess that was clinging to the fabric.

"Damn! Pauline never said your pussy looked like that!" Timothée swore.

"I, um, Pauline doesn't know," I said.

"So, I'm the only one in my family that knows shy little y/n has not only a juicy ass, but a gorgeous, wet cunt?" He asked smugly as he approached me.

"Holy fuck," I swore.

"You made such a mess," Timothée tsked.

"Uh huh," l agreed.

into my ass cheek.

"Ohhhhh shit," | cried as I dripped.

To my surprise he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. I felt him turn his head and his teeth sunk in

"Now you're getting me messy, can't have that," he chuckled. He threw me on his bed. He tore off his shirt. His body was so gorgeous.

"You too," he ordered. I quickly took off my own top.

"C-can I lick?" I asked weakly.

"Such a slut," he said. I made a pathetic little noise and moved forward. I was in heaven. I was lapping and sucking and kissing his body messily.

"That's enough, I want that cunt," he barked. I fell back and spread my legs. A devious smile unfurled on his face.

He looked very pleased. He moved forward and sunk two fingers into my heat.

"Who does this belong to?" He asked.

"You," I gasped.

"Yeah it does, so easy to get you off. I'm your god now. Every time you're here you find a way to come to me. Your pussy is mine and your body and your sweet ass. You're going to be my dirty little secret," he instructed.

"Yes sir," | nodded eagerly. The idea of sneaking away from my friends so I could be used like a cock sleeve was delicious.

Timothée removed his pants and boxers. His beautiful cock stood tall. He teased my entrance by tracing it with his tip.

"Holy fuck please," | arched and begged.

"You want it?" He asked.

"So badly, I needed it," I nodded eagerly. He inched his head in, and stilled.

"Mmmmm, more!" I pleaded shakily.

"Yeah? You're a dirty girl aren't you? Can't stand that the whole thing isn't inside you?"

'Yes, yes! l'm a dirty girl! I need you in my fucking guts," cried out desperately.

"Good thing no one is home, you're a loud bitch," he said as he slid his cock balls deep inside me.

"Ahhhh, fuck yesssss, you're so damn tight. I love a tight cunt," he grunted. He secured my ankles on his shoulder and began to roll his hips.

"Oh fuck, oh shit, oh I feel it in my stomach," I moaned.

"You're such a little slut, getting off from just some teasing. Stripping for me," his voice was uneven as he slammed into me.

"Oh my fuck!" I nearly screamed. His gorgeous hands gripped my ass and massaged.

"I'm so f-full," I groaned.

"You're tight little whore pussy," he said and slapped my ass. "Squeezes me so good."

"Yes, I want to please you. You're my god. Mark me, mark your territory inside me," I panted.

"Oh yeah you like that, should I get a bitch pregnant so everyone knows who she belongs to? You wanna carry around my semen?" He asked me.

"Breed me! Breed my pussy!" begged.

"You're such a slut. I'm going to make you my breeding whore. You better report to me and get yourself filled with cum whenever I need. I need a fuck toy, and you're so lucky I picked you," he whispered in my ear.

"Yes, yes I am," I nodded. My voice was high pitched and whiny. I was whimpering.

"You want my creamy load in your cunt?" He asked me. "Because daddy is getting close to busting you slut.

"Mmmmhmmm yes daddy please. I want your cum so bad," I gasped.

"Fuck, here it comes," he groaned. He was spurting ropes in my wet heat. It was such a large load that it was squelching out.

"Oh fuck yeah, that's it, just a cum dump for me," he moaned. He spat into my mouth and I was gone. As he filled me l was coming too. Pleasure burned inside me. I couldn't keep my mouth or legs closed. We were a mess. I felt like so light headed I didn't think I could speak.

"Such a fucking slut," Timothée panted. He gathered saliva on his tongue. He let the liquid out slowly into my willing and desperate mouth.

"What are you doing?" | asked in a tiny voice. He was thrusting again and the noise was wet and erotic.

"Making sure it sticks, gotta make sure the baby was properly fucked inside you," he winked.

"Oh shit!" I whined.

"Y/n, would you like some bread?" Timothée's mom asked. I could hardly keep it together. Timothée had made me sit next to him when I stayed for dinner. Under the table he'd been slowly, languidly, torturously stroking my clit. I could hardly breathe.

"S-sure," | gulped as Timothée petted.

"Keep being a good slut and maybe you'll get another one of daddy's loads before you take your pregnant ass home," he whispered in my ear.

[whyse7vn]

I’M SORRY -

[ ot7 x reader ]

JUNGKOOK -

jk: i’m sorry

jk: didn’t mean to make you upset :(

i hope i die

i should get jumped

barely survive

be on life support until i’m 50

and when i wake up die from the most painful heart attack recorded

i hope no one attends my funeral and i’m publicly and privately made fun of even after i’ve passed

hope my parents are ashamed and i hope that whenever the name jungkook is said people feel sick to their stomachs

i’m gonna throw up

gonna choke myself to death

i have the tightest grip on my throat rn

i’m going red

it’s fading to black

i’m sorry i wasn’t being a good boyfriend

tell bam that his dad was an asshole who didn’t deserve any rights

don’t even let him remember me as his father

i don’t deserve that title

i don’t deserve anything

not after what i did

burn all my clothes

delete all my pictures

tear my face off all posters

cross my name off all paperwork

i am not worthy of anything

y/n: shut up

jk: i’m sorry

y/n: i can tell

jk: i didn’t mean it

y/n: i forgive you

jk: really?

y/n: yeah

jk: do you really or are joking?

if ur joking it’s not a funny joke

y/n: you can come back home now

jk: really 🥺?

y/n: don’t ever use that emoji again

jk: sorry

i’m coming

omw

i love you

this is so great

y/n: you’re so dramatic

jk: i’m sorry

y/n: stop apologising

jk: sorry

i mean

ok

love u

y/n: hurry up

jk: 🏃‍♂️

SEOKJIN -

jin: can you talk to me now

hey

hey

hey

hey

hey

hey

hey

hey

i’m going to kms and it gonna be all your fault if you don’t reply to me

y/n: record it

jin: hey loml 😘😘❤️❤️❤️🤗🤗

WAIT WTF

THATS SO SICK?/?:£:££.&.&.&&.

y/n: what do you want?

jin: i love you ❤️💓🩷

y/n: bye

jin: WAITTTT :(((((((((((((((

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

y/n: what

jin: i’m outside 🤭🤗❤️

y/n: stay outside

jin: am i a dog?????

DON’T ANSWER THAT

anyways

i’ve come to see you princess 😘❤️‍🔥

y/n: gross

go home

jin: i am home 🥺

y/n: ur at MY home

jin: tu casa es mi casa 😚

y/n: that is not how that phrase goes

jin: let me inside pookie it’s cold 😍

y/n: you should have a key if it’s ur house

jin: LET ME IN IM TRYING SOSOSOSO HARD

FUCK YOU

ITS COLD

MY HAIR IS WET

IM DISTRESSED

LET ME INNNNNNNN

y/n: it took you 3 minutes

to be an asshole again

jin: :((((

i really tried that time

i can’t help it

this is real this is me

i was born this way

you can’t change me

ur the asshole if we think about it why are you trying to change people?? let the world know you LOSER

y/n: fyi you can stay outside

jin: PLS NOOOO PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS

y/n: “pls” doesn’t really sound like sorry to me…

jin: I SAID IM SORRY

I DIDN’T MEAN TO SHOUTT

IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRYYYYYYYYYYY

i love you

this is kinda sadistic if you think about it

didn’t know you was a freak like that bae

it’s okay i kinda like it

how about you let me in now

or do you want me to beg more???

pls oh plsssss let me in 🥺

i’ll never be mean again i promise 😇

pls 😚

hello??

babe??????

fr this isn’t funny

hello

HELLO

OPEN THE DOOR PLS

HELLLOOOO

OMH

HELLLLO

pls

i’m fr sorry

i mean it like genuinely

hello

…

okay let’s stop now

…………..

HELLLLO

fuck you

HOSEOK -

hobi: this fighting stuff kinda boring now

….

hello

i’m sorry

BOOOO

:(((

y/n: you can’t just walk out the house mid argument

hobi: in my defence u were being mean

y/n: so were you???

hobi: ??

y/n: be honest are you fr gonna just leave like that when things get hard?

hobi: i mean i might

y/n: …

hobi: things were pretty hard

y/n: AS MAN OF THE HOUSE YOU SHOULD OF GOT RID OF THE SPIDER

hobi: AS A FEMINIST I LEFT YOU TO TAKE CARE OF IT TO HELP YOU FEEL EMPOWERED

y/n: fuck you don’t come home

hobi: i would never lie to u bae 🙏🏼

and i would never suppress a moment for a woman to feel empowered

y/n: don’t actually fucking speak to me

hobi: ily

cheer up baby cheer up baby

y/n: picked the wrong member

jungkook would of helped me

hobi: omg????????

are you fr?

y/n: would never lie to you bae 🙏🏽

hobi: ….

JIMIN -

jimin:

y/n: ???

jimin: are you still mad at me?

y/n: yes jimin wtf

jimin: do you want to have sex?

y/n: yes jimin wtf

jimin: love you

y/n: whatever

jimin: say it back

y/n: i won’t

jimin: you will

y/n: definitely will not

jimin: i’ll sing for you

y/n: no thanks

jimin: no thanks?

y/n: no thanks.

jimin: you say that like i’m bad at singing

y/n: eh

jimin: eh?

y/n: eh.

jimin: i won’t have sex with you

y/n: aw man

jimin: don’t sound too sad

y/n: ok

jimin: you should be

y/n: i’m not

jimin: i go crazy in bed yk?

y/n: that is the ugliest thing you have ever said to me

jimin: if ur not in love with me just say that

y/n: i won’t

jimin: so ur IN love with me is what i’m hearing

y/n: ur not hearing anything cuz we are messaging rn

jimin: can you just tell me you love me like a normal person?

y/n: you don’t deserve it

jimin: okay maybe that’s true

but you should do it just once

pretty pls with a cherry on top 🥺

y/n: i’ll punch you

jimin: maybe i’ll enjoy it

y/n: nasty

jimin: kiss me

y/n: where are you?

jimin: ur really gonna kiss me?

y/n: ur talking long to tell me where you are so ig i’m not

jimin: joon’s studio

y/n: maybe i’m omw

jimin: ur so in love with me it’s kinda gross 🤭

YOONGI -

yoongi: :3

y/n: die tbh

yoongi: :3

y/n: your stupid faces mean nothing to me

yoongi: :3

y/n: …

yoongi: :33333

y/n: i hate you

yoongi: :Ɛ

y/n: ew wtf how did you do that

yoongi: Ɛ:

y/n: stop omg

yoongi: i’m sorry :3

y/n: cool

yoongi: i’m fr :3

y/n: idc :3

yoongi: you used the face :3

ur not mad :3

y/n: ur logic is wrong

yoongi: bring the face back :3

and it’s not logic it’s common sense :3

y/n: ur wrong

yoongi: never been wrong a day in my life :3

y/n: that’s crazy

so when you shouted at me for no reason you weren’t in the wrong?

good to know

yoongi: okay i never said that :3

y/n: but you did

yoongi: ur being annoying :3

y/n: fuck you

DID YOU JUST SEND ME 10K?????????

yoongi: did i? :3

y/n: you can’t just buy my forgiveness

yoongi: i can’t? :3

y/n: this is not how relationships work yoongi

yoongi: this is how our relationship works :3

y/n: no it’s not

STOP SENDING ME MONEY OMG?:£:£:’

yoongi: :3

y/n: you are still not forgiven leave me alone

yoongi: unforgiven i’m a villain :3

y/n: SEND ANOTHER 10k AND UR GETTING BLOCKED

yoongi: ur making me real upset rn :3

y/n: go back to work

yoongi: stop being mad at me :3

y/n: die

yoongi: don’t say that i’m about to get on a plane :3

y/n: now i feel bad

yoongi: say sorry :3

y/n: nvm

yoongi: :(

look you’ve made me change faces hope you feel bad :(

y/n: i don’t

yoongi: ur sick and twisted :(

y/n: cry about it

yoongi: really hope i survive this plane ride :(

y/n: i will not be guilt tripped by you

yoongi: you told me to die knowing i was getting on a plane :(

y/n: bye

yoongi: what if i had a deep deep fear of flying and u made that fear 10x worse rn :(

y/n: you don’t

yoongi: you don’t know a thing :(

y/n: fuck you

yoongi: do you really want ur last words to me be fuck you :(

y/n: fly safe

TAEHYUNG -

y/n: no

tae: hiiiiiiii

wtf how did you know

y/n: blocked

tae: NONONONONONO

y/n: you have one minute

go

tae: i am walking alone rn

y/n: ???

tae: on the street

y/n: ok?

tae: alone

y/n: you said that

tae: ALONE

ALL ALONE

y/n: right

tae: it’s not right actually

ITS VERY FAR FROM RIGHT

i’m ALONE

do you know what could happen to me rn?

i could literally be snatched up off the street by anyone

y/n: hopefully it’s a rehabilitation centre 🙏🏽

tae: WHAG IS UR PROBLEM

IM ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE

ME

KIM TAEHYUNG ALONE ON THE STREET

WHAT ARE YOU NOT GETTING HERE?

y/n: ur one minute is up

tae: no it’s not

can you pls care for me rn i’m stressed out

y/n: it was pretty stressful when you stood me up yesterday

but i powered through 💪🏽

i’m sure you can do the same!!!

tae: that never happened

pls let’s pretend that never happened

i’m the perfect boyfriend i swear

y/n: get lost

like actually

never come back

tae: 😢

you don’t even mean that

y/n: are you sure?

tae: IM SORRY PLS PLSPLSSSSSS

forgive me

y/n: no

tae: you can have my card

y/n: don’t want it

tae: take my house

i’ll give you my keys rn

y/n: i have ur keys

tae: you do?

you thief omg

give them back

y/n: you left them here???

after YOU stormed out my house after you made ME upset

tae: oh yeah

i’m coming back now

y/n: asshole

tae: let’s put this behind us and move on

that’s a great idea i say

y/n: you are single

tae: don’t say that

y/n: said it

tae: we are actually engaged and expecting our 10th child

y/n: you are single

tae: top 10 singles

made a few of those in my time

LOL

i’m funny right

say i’m funny

y/n: it’s painful talking to you

tae: painfully in love with me are you?

y/n: it’s like i’m taking to a brick wall

you have like selective hearing

tae: what i’m hearing is you want to kiss me on the lips?

y/n: call an ambulance

tae: feeling so much love for me ur throwing up?

???

hello

oh

ok

maybe i do deserve this

NAMJOON -

y/n: would you now like to explain why the hell you sent halsey flowers on MY birthday??

namjoon: it wasn’t just on ur birthday i’ve been sending them all week for like a month now

y/n: namjoon what the fuck??

namjoon: i’m confused

y/n: UR confused????

do you like her or something?

namjoon: ofc i like her!

y/n: so ur cheating?

namjoon: what

y/n: ur cheating on me and you have no shame???

what the actual fuck is wrong with you??

namjoon: i’m not cheating?

y/n: for a month now you’ve been sending another girl that you like flowers

EVERY WEEK???

namjoon: every friday

y/n: fuck you

namjoon: i’m confused how that’s cheating when you told me to do that?

y/n: WHEN HAVE I EVER SAID “OH NAMJOON SEND OTHER BITCHES FLOWERS”

namjoon: you literally said you loved how halsey’s bf gave her flowers every week and that you wished i did that?

y/n: ….

there is no way

….

namjoon

oh my god

kim fucking namjoon

LMAOOSO ARE YOU FR?

namjoon: what??? i’m so confused pls tell me what i did wrong

i would never cheat on you

ur freaking me out

y/n: think about it

why would i wish you sent halsey flowers?

think

like really think

namjoon: IDK i was confused as hell but you seemed like you really wanted me to

so i did

y/n: i meant i wanted you to buy ME flowers you idiot omg

namjoon: oh

that makes a lot more sense

y/n: yeah

you are the dumbest smart man i’ve ever met

namjoon: my fault

i get confused sometimes 😞

y/n: i love you

namjoon: i love you too

ur not mad anymore?

y/n: could never be mad at you silly

[getodrools]

FIRST TIME OUUUUU IM JUMPING

now of course, choso is gonna propose to have his first time at your place! i mean, as much as he would LOVE to stain his sheets with your juices — n most likely not clean it for a few days but he figured a cute, popular girl like him would see his electric guitar and band posters and run instantly, poor sweets is so insecure :( and doesn't know you're into emo boys like that, which is why he practically won the lottery when you picked him as your new fuck buddy <3

anyways, from the moment you bent over in front of him to grab some condoms in your drawer and he gets a glimpse of your lace hello kitty panties, he's practically frothing at the mouth!!! he's practically drunk — and you haven't even started : ( you start undressing?? he's done for. girls, body, sex, his dirty fantasies coming true!! he was fighting the urge to pull out his cock and start fucking you right there but woah !! breathe, choso, for once have some decorum.

choso has no idea what he’s doing, but he knows he wants to touch you. sweet thing, he asks if he can touch you as if you were a goddess and as soon as you giggle a “of course, silly!” his hands are everywhere. ass, thighs, waist, tits, God is his hands and mouth latched on your tits!!! your little mews only edge him on further, he was sad when no milk came out :((((( maybe he’ll just have to marry you and get you pregnant so he can taste more of your juices! a loser can dream. but he’ll jerk off to that later, it’s time for the real thing.

little did you know choso came in his pants just from you making out with him. your glossy lips on his, the feeling of your clothed cunt grazing oh so gently over his massive buldge, he couldnt help it !! when you tease him for it, blood goes straight to his dick. he is harddd, and pretty boy can’t wait any longer so he begs to go inside and of course you comply.

i almsot forgot foreplay, he knew how big he was and he didn’t want to see his precious (hopefully) sweet girl in pain, so he eats you out. he’s never been two inches close to pussy before, so best believe hes lapping your juices with his tongue piercing, eating you out and overstimulating you to the max before you have to pull his hair and make him move away, which turns him on (hair pulling kinkkk!). his brain is hayware like the sound when you win the lottery, because he managed to make you squirt. cha-ching !! he’s so putting that in his diary.

he almost got carried away in the process, almost. don’t forget this is choso, he may be the one fucking but he’ll follow your orders like a dog if it means he’ll feel you cum on his dick. “c-choso, faster please!” and instantly, he mutters a “fuck— yes ma’am . . !” and before you know it, he’s basically bullying your pretty pussy :< rutting into you, the both of you chase your high and the click of realisation to pull out just barely hits him, his cum now all over your precious tits, your own seeping out of you beautifully, and he gets down to lick it up the globs. oh but of courseeee, he asks to take a picture of your cum covered tits, and mentally cheers when you say yes. that’s definitely being printed and placed on his wall !! hes thank you over and over again, and you cant help but want to go for another round at the praise :3

after it’s all done, while he’s changing, you ask him where the underwear he hastily removed from you has wandered off to ! where could it have possibly gone !? the boy pulls an innocent facade and shrugs an “hmm.. i-i’m not too sure”, as if it is currently stuffed in his jeans, but like the complete ditz you are, and you pay no mind > 0 < and thank God you dont!’ now pervy degenerate choso can jerk off at home to it almost every night :)

but there’s noooooo need, when you set fireworks off in his head when you kiss his cheek and propose to do this again.

hope you enjoyed this, that’s all i got ! nighty nighttt !

— pearl anon <3

okaaaaaaaay I GASPED— literally screaming directly at my phone, tongue out, shaking, frothing omfg ?? pls tell me ur a fanfic writer ‘cause this is so 🤯

also, i just loveeeved how u added emo choso having a tongue-piercing –> AGREED. and him saying, yes ma'am ??? dropped to my knees. i luv when guys say that ??? LMAO… ur rotting my brain pearl ! ! now im wondering if choso would make up things, like “having your pussy licked boosts brain activity.” after easily getting away with ur panties ?1?1?

this was so JUICY to read, THANK YOU. ♡

[olderthannetfic]

I kind of get confused sometimes when people say women fetishize queer trauma in their books. Most of the ones that had lots of queer trauma and violence I’ve read were written by queer men. I did see people accusing Becky Albertalli of doing it with Simon versus the Homosapiens before she came out so I don’t know. But I do get the feeling these people would be up in arms if they ever read something like Drawing Blood by Billy Martin.

--

Billy Martin is the poster child for the sort of "woman" these people are mad about, and not just because of his books' content.

For those who aren't familiar with him, he started his writing career as Poppy Z. Brite, goth babe and icon of 90s nerds who thought Hot Topic was too mainstream. A lot of his fans from back then still don't know because he changed genres and then stopped writing. (Surprise, fellow olds! He switched to male pronouns in 2011.)

His 90s novels were some of the m/m that was most accessible to my generation, and they were gothic horror filled with fucked up shit happening to pretty woobie boys. Peak fujoshi-bait.

Also all of the women died in gruesome ways or were forever alone losers because all the men worth having were into other men.

Even as a massive fan, I always raised my eyebrow a bit. I eventually stopped reading Brite because I found "her" too weird about female characters in downer ways.

Years later, when Billy had started to figure things out and was living out his Hurricane Katrina trauma on his Livejournal, it became a lot clearer why he was so fucking weird about things in the 90s. Not just gender. Fear of AIDS and other things too. Dude had a lot going on, and it definitely informed his dark-as-fuck early books.

It was years before he unpacked enough of his other trauma to figure out he wanted everyone to use male pronouns for him and to fully live as a man instead of just feeling like not a woman.

I haven't read his work in years, but I felt for the guy. He wrote movingly about his mental health struggles.

The point of writing out all this is that it took Billy nearly twenty years.

He spent the 90s describing himself as "a gay man in a woman's body", but in a way that often sounded fetishy and weird. He was the target of appropriation discourse, though nothing like you'd see today.

Whomever is today's Poppy Z. Brite isn't going to be Billy Martin until 2040.

[ymaohoh]

Yankee Candle Baby - Fic

Eddie wants to buy something nice for Chrissy. Candles are romantic, right?  Oneshot (See at the end for notes)

Word count: 3,730

Chapter: 1/1.

No trigger warnings. No real plot. Just fluff and lust. 

Also on Archive of Our Own.

--

Oh yeah. He was most definitely out of his comfort zone. He was so far out of the zone that he felt like he was standing on a sinking ship surrounded by menacing hungry sharks. 

The mall. The fucking mall. On this perfectly fine Saturday he was here of all places. 

The small town of Hawkins boasted exactly one mall which meant it was unfortunately one of the busier places to be at the weekends, though at this precise time of the day he was thankful to see most of the shoppers were old folks, and noisy kids. His peers (and he used this term very loosely) would likely show up later when it was time to…God knows…go to the movies? Get a burger? Hit the arcade? Whatever it was the average American teenager did at the weekend with their friends or dates. As if he gave a flying fuck. 

No, he hoped he wouldn’t run into anyone he knew. Not because he cared about their opinion - he was Eddie Munson, after all, have you met him? - but because he wanted to get this over and done with as quickly as humanly possible. He was on a secret D&D quest with one singular (but important) purpose...and as soon as he found his holy grail he would race back to his beat-up van and get the hell out of here. 

His leather boots scuffed on the linoleum floor (decorated with some bright nonsense pattern) as he walked forwards reluctantly into what he considered the jaws of hell. Eddie was not typically a morning person and it seemed too early in the day for the overly bright lights that lined the walls or the music blasting out of stores that he could only assume people who hung here found ‘cool’ and ‘trendy’. He ignored the posters that lined the windows advertising whatever shit was for sale inside and kept his eyes open for one specific store. 

Harrington said it would be right at the end of the first floor by the food court…and here…finally. Here it was. The walls to the store were painted bubblegum pink and unsurprisingly the patrons inside were all teenage girls wearing pastels and preppy makeup. 

Hell was apparently the cover of Teen Beat or Just Seventeen, the magazines that he often found rolled up in this van nowadays. 

Eddie looked at the bright and cheery store in question with something akin to repulsion (could he seriously hear Robert Palmer being played on the stereo behind the counter?) before taking a deep breath and plummeting inside before he could change his mind. 

Addicted to love? Apparently he fucking was because it was the only reason he was here. The only reason he’d step inside a capitalist cesspit that was so intense and cheery and uncomfortable to him. The object of said addiction? 

A tiny cheerleader who looked at him like he was her God-damned hero. 

Chrissy was everything to him, even though they’d only technically been a couple  (or ‘going steady’ as she reminded him) for a month now. Honestly? It felt longer. It felt like she’d always been a part of his life from the moment he first laid eyes on her neat strawberry-blonde ponytail. If you asked him if he could remember a time before her he’d draw a blank. He’d had a life without her, sure, but damn if he could remember much about it. He didn’t really want to. She’d woken him up like he was Snow White and she was the prince and life was now all singing cartoon birds, rainbows and sunsets. She was like the fucking sun itself. 

Best of all? She was his. All his. They navigated through the highschool gossip, the stares, the outright rude comments that made him want to ball his fists like how the hell did that loser pull someone like her? Is she crazy? To be fair, it wasn’t a stupid question. He’d asked himself the same thing over and over. They’d laughed when hearing the suggestions of blackmail and magic and he’d fallen a bit in love with her when she admitted there could be magic at play. 

If he thought it would make her smile (and seriously her smile always had the power to totally pierce through his chest like an arrow) then he would most gladly step into whatever hellish landscape needed. He’d move mountains for her. Battle demons. All that cliche romantic stuff. 

Shit, he couldn’t wait to see her smile again. Maybe he was addicted. 

Later on today she was coming to his trailer and they’d be all alone as his uncle was working a night shift at the plant. They’d arranged it so casually yesterday when he drove her home from school - ‘I’ll be there after I finish my chem homework, okay? Maybe six…seven?’ ‘Sure thing. Come round whenever’ - but despite the casual tone he really wanted to do something extra nice for her. He had an idea about making her dinner and setting it up all fancy on the table with the forks and spoons and whatever lined up in the so-called right places. Hell, he’d even bought some wine for them both and Harrington said it was a good bottle (for under $5).

He wouldn’t call Harrington a friend exactly, but he wasn’t a stranger either. He was also one of the only guys he sort of hung around with who actually had experience with women. Eddie would die if any of the kids found out about this (though really they knew how soft Eddie was for Chrissy. It was almost nauseating to be in the same room as them). Harrington has also recommended getting candles. 

Girl’s love them, he’d said confidently. He’d pieced everything together immediately when he ran into Eddie at the store buying fancy healthy ingredients and wine. Eddie was a beer guy usually - wine had to only mean he was trying to impress someone. Trust me, man. There’s a new place in the mall that all the girls talk about. Sounds seriously lame but if you’re going with Chrissy the queen Cunningham then you better up your game. No offense.  

So here he was. Like he said, he’d do anything for Chrissy. Even if it meant stepping out of his comfort zone and doing something different. 

Just like when she surprised him last Tuesday by showing up at The Hideout to hear his band for the first time. She’d looked so out of place in her floral dress beside the regulars who stuck to black and ripped denim as a rule, but she’d cheered loudly (his own personal cheerleader) and it made him feel like the luckiest son of a bitch in the world. She really was a fucking gem. 

“Hi. Can I help you?”

A friendly voice came out of nowhere and he looked up to see a salesgirl eyeing him curiously. He couldn’t blame her for looking at him in that way. Next to the other customers he stood out like a sore thumb in his jeans and leather jacket. Still, he had a reputation of bravado to uphold and he wasn’t the kind of shitty person who was rude to staff. Her name badge said ‘Becky’ in a tiny purple font. She looked to be around Chrissy’s age. 

Becky, you’re going to be my best friend right now. 

“You sure can. Candles? Word on the street is you sell them.”

She smiled and led him to the back of the store past all the scented bath crap, the bright cushions with tassels, the art-deco type figurines, and other trendy kitschy items that teenage girls seemed to adore having in their bedrooms. She led him to a counter at the back which was full of the promised candles. Several heads turned in surprise as he moved around but they soon went back to whatever little item that so fascinated them. 

Ah shit. 

“This is the only brand we sell as it’s the most popular. Is there one you have specifically in mind or do you need help picking one out?”

She was assuming he’d been sent here by his girlfriend (or sister or mom) to collect something on their behalf because they were tied up somewhere else. In which case he’d know exactly what it was he needed. How many boyfriends (or brothers or dads) had been in the same pitiful position as he was now? Becky probably spotted it right away which is why she was being so helpful. Golden star for Becky, he thought. 

(He did love the term boyfriend though. Chrissy’s boyfriend. Chrissy’s boyfriend who would run errands for her. Ah, bliss). 

He fixed her with a smile, saying honestly… “I haven’t got a clue, Becky. Honestly. I’m just trying to find something nice for my girlfriend.”

(His girlfriend. His girlfriend Chrissy. The person who braided his favourite bandana into her hair, marking her as such). 

“Well that’s adorable,” Becky commented. The smile she wore now seemed far more genuine. “In that case let me help. What does your girlfriend use them for? Reading? Putting on during a bath? General ambience?”

Dude. Do not think of Chrissy in a bath. Not Chrissy in a bath wet with water and soap and…

“I’m fixing her dinner tonight,” he explained, turning to more pure and wholesome thoughts. “So something for that? I thought it might look…nice?”

This was hell. Absolute hell. 

Still, two girls who were standing by all the bath crap nearby let out little sighs at his stilted phrasing. Becky looked pretty impressed too. Wow, was he nailing this? And was it just him or did his voice get softer when he spoke about anything to do with Chrissy? 

“I’d go with a pillar candle then, for sure. You can place it in the middle of the table,” Becky suggested. She waved towards the right side of the display. “What’s her favourite smell?”

“Uh…well, she likes loads of things…”

And this was the trickiest bit. He didn’t know. Chrissy liked all sorts of smells and tastes. He’d noticed her happy sigh when she smelled the football field after the grass was freshly cut, and she said she liked the smell of ‘new books’. How could they make candles out of that? 

“I see. Well, maybe test some? See which ones remind you the most of her. I need to go and help that customer over there, but I’ll be by the counter if you need anything else, okay?”

“Sure…thanks.”

This wasn’t going to be so quick and easy as he’d hoped. 

Who the hell needed so many candles? Why were there so many sizes? What the hell was Home for Holidays? He managed to stifle a sigh. He focused on the taller candles to the right where Becky had waved, agreeing that they were probably best suited for his purpose (and would last longer - you know, if he and Chrissy forgot all about them in a daze of frantic making out). Wait - was his home at serious risk of burning down tonight? 

It was a herculean effort to drag his mind away from Chrissy’s spectacular lips and back to the mission at hand. Really. He should be awarded some prize for this. 

Right. Maybe focus on scent like Becky said? That was the whole point of candles now the lightbulb made them otherwise obsolete, right? He scanned the labels. What smell would Chrissy like? 

Using his keen powers of logic and intellect (sharpened recently with Chrissy’s tutorage) he noted that the candles seemed to be arranged in a specific order. The ones on the top shelf sounded like flowery ones. 

Lavender? French Lavender? Lilac Blossoms? Lily of the Valley? He held the latter up to his nose but yanked it away quickly. No way. It smelled like something his grandmother would buy. From what very limited information Chrissy offered about her batshit family they seemed to uphold ‘good old-fashioned conservative values’ like most of middle America and Chrissy herself unknowingly still toed some traditional ideals (though she’d hate any comparison to her crusty bitch of a mother). For example, she was the one who wanted to ‘go steady’ and go on ‘dates’. She also made them wait for date three before…well, what she would very cutely describe as ‘PG stuff’ stuff. As for Eddie? Hell, from day one he’d wanted to throw her over his shoulder cave man style and fuck her on the floor of his van (where she’d first gloriously uttered the perfect words ‘yes, Eddie, I like like you too’) . 

Floral smells seemed to go hand in hand with those traditional ideals…yet Chrissy was showing day by day she didn’t want to be held back by that crap any longer. It started with baby steps - hell, dating him a biggie - but who knew what the future held? Chrissie wanted to go to college after graduation and instead of writing ‘baby-maker extraordinaire’ on her applications (as her family wanted) she confessed to wanting more. Maybe teaching? Maybe social work? She had the brains, for sure. His Chrissy was a Fourth of July sparkler, burning bright and sparkling. She could be whatever she wanted to be. She could have both a career and a family if she wanted because she admitted she did like kids (though the idea of Chrissy holding another little Chrissy in her arms made him feel things he never thought possible). With a fond smile he placed the candle back and moved along. 

White fig, Sicilian Lemon, Sea Salt and Sage, Sage and Citrus, Olive and Thyme. The next shelf seemed to hold the candles that smelled like food. Which was bizarre when he really thought about it. He sampled them each. After all, he was buying a candle to go with dinner so didn’t it make sense for it to be food related? 

He quite liked the citrus smell but he smiled when he saw the label for Thyme. He thought about the first time (ha) they’d cooked together at his trailer a few weeks back, back before they were dating. They’d still been at that bullshit flirty-but-not stage, both too scared of admitting their real feelings in case they ruined the tentative and unexpected friendship they both secretly cherished. Dinner hadn’t been anything special - they’d been hanging out watching a movie with accidental (or not in his case) brushing of limbs and secret glances to her legs (she’d been wearing her cheerleader skirt, for crying out loud - he was not made of stone) - when they’d grown hungry and started fixing some pasta. Chrissy had been awkward when it came to food back then and it was something he’d picked up on right away. She would always make excuses not to eat in front of him but her growling stomach had on this occasion betrayed her big time. He’d heated up the pasta and asked her to pass the thyme to stir into the tomato sauce and she’d eventually admitted to not having a clue what that herb was. He’d been so careful to show not even the teensiest amount of surprise in his eyes, and instead patiently showed her how to use it in cooking. It was apparent that Chrissy only ate the same things day after day and it was all bland and unseasoned. 

Less calories, right? 

Since then she’d come along leaps and bounds with her eating, though it was still something present in the back of her mind like a cobweb they couldn’t quite dust away. Though he worried about the future - what would his dumbass do while Chrissy excelled? - one thing he knew for certain was right after graduation (maybe while still wearing those dorky robes) he would bundle Chrissy into his van and drive her far away from the influence of her asshole mother. If she let him he would dedicate his life to feeding and caring for her like she deserved. He hoped she’d be game. 

He looked away from this shelf. They still had some work to do in this area. 

He liked Candy Cane Lane, Cranberry Twist, French Vanilla, Pink Grapefruit…He smelled them appreciatively even though they were very sickly sweet. He liked his coffee black but he knew Chrissy preferred hers laden with sugar and cream (now she actually let herself indulge more). 

Chrissy was sweetness personified in human form really. All sweet smiles and warm skin and caresses. She was popular for her looks, her kindness, her cheery nature. She also had the glorious ability to look past the dark parts of life (and in people) and see the goodness and the light. It was a trait that Eddie simply didn’t have and he marvelled whenever he was privileged enough to see it swell inside her. No matter how many times life seemed to try and beat it out of her, Chrissy was a God-damned angel who got right back on her feet and was unapologetically kind and sweet and dazzling. Eddie knew he would do anything in his power to keep that flame inside of her bright and fucking destroy anyone who tried to take advantage or smother it. 

(Was he an attack dog now? A bull terrier? Why not. She already held his metaphoric leash. Where she went, he went gladly). 

Chrissy had looked at him - him, Eddie, the guy who was all swagger and sarcasm and enjoyed guts and gore. The person who was labelled a freak, an outcast, a junior delinquent - and seen someone she wanted to be with. Her sweet pretty smile seemed to shine on him and say you’re my person and you are good and you are mine.  

Hell, he was going to ravish her later on. 

Strawberry  

Oh yes. We have a winner. This would be the part where quiz show lights went off and heaps of cash fell from the ceiling. 

He didn’t need to sample this candle because he knew right away this was the one which reminded him the most of Chrissy Cunningham. 

Of her fucking perfect little mouth. 

Chrissy had a habit of wearing lipgloss and it tended to be of the fruity variety which was A-OK with him as long as he was the one tasting it. He’d drown himself in buckets of strawberries if it meant he could once more brush his tongue against that soft velvet cupid bow. The rush he got from kissing Chrissy was better than any illicit high, and he knew as soon as he’d sampled just a little bit that it was game over. He was hooked for life. Chrissy was now in his veins - channelling through his body - and keeping his small insignificant heart beating. 

Their first kiss hadn’t been planned but it was fucking spectacular all the same. So were their other firsts. All of them etched into his memory forever. He might casually use the word fucking to describe what they were doing nearly every single night in his trailer, but they both knew it ran much deeper than that. They were hooked on each other. Couldn’t get enough of each other. It made them frantic and careless at times. Though she swore him to secrecy (blushing as she did so because of course good girls would never) he would never tell another soul about the times they’d frantically fucked in the back of his van, or on the bench in the woods where they re-met. They’d even fucked hurriedly behind The Hideout and the image of him lifting Chrissy against the brick wall with her long legs wrapped around his waist, was something he thought about a lot. He remembered how her pretty lips looked when she came for him. 

And before that when they first uttered the word fuck infront of him. They’d been sitting on the lawn with their friends at the time, and everyone had cheered at Chrissy Cunningham saying a bad word. He’d whistled and cheered too, though it was incredibly hot and a base instinct deep down wanted to grab her like he was some savage neanderthal and have her there on the field. He was pretty sure she knew that too because there was a coy twist to her smile. 

Ding ding ding. We’ve found the candle. He picked it up and went to pay Becky. 

“Nice choice,” she said as she popped it in a paper bag. 

“Yeah. Chrissy is…” Chrissy was a lot of things. He settled on, “She tastes like strawberries.”

Becky’s cheeks flamed at his words and she couldn’t stop herself from giggling. Instead of feeling embarrassed, Eddie felt pretty proud of himself overall. He’d battled the demon that was the mall, found a sidekick of sorts in Becky, and retrieved the holy grail that would please the beautiful princess. Not a bad campaign really. “Chrissy Cunningham, you mean?”

Christ. They knew her here too? He gave her a stiff nod. Was she going to start coming out with the usual crap he heard in the corridors about not being good enough? 

But no. Becky only gave him the bag. “Lucky girl.”

“Nah, I'm the lucky one.”

----

A/N: This is my first attempt at writing for the couple, so apologies for any errors or mishaps with the setting or characteristics. It’s a learning curve. I was not alive during the 80’s so I did rely on a trusty search engine for a few parts. I actually searched for ‘Yankee Candles which are now obsolete’ (apparently they started in the 60’s - who knew?) and the ones listed above are the search results. Pretty sure some of them have come back into circulation though. The store Eddie so bravely ventured into is essentially an 80’s Oliver Bonas. 

I’m also not from the US though I tried using some of the lingo. I think I actually wrote the word mum but it looked so out of place for this world. I can’t bring myself to swap the spell check over though so you still get plenty of u’s in unlikely places (or likely - eh). 

I really enjoyed writing this. It came very naturally. I’ve posted some prompts on my page which I’ll make my way through but give me a shout if you’ve got any requests. 

Toodles x

[butchsky]

i NEED to post and share this somewhere but i just had the FREAKIEST DREAM ????

to keep an incredibly long story short, i'm halfway across my state traveling for whatever reason. after the main event of our trip, i'm at a mall doing.. challenges?? or whatever. but with me doing these challenges are a couple of members of team crafted and a handful of strangers.

obviously, one of these team crafted members is Sky. but not like, skydoesminecraft. fucking ADAM.

so, okay. whatever. hours pass, i'm doin my thing, and as time is passing he is noticeably getting Closer with me. trying to act buddy buddy, flirting (????) the whole nine.

okay, whatever!! it's coming to the end of these challenges, and i go over to where i put my stuff down to see there is SO MANY NEW ITEMS. a bunch of exclusive team crafted posters, merch, posters of my favorite band?? everything. i'm overwhelmed. i'm wondering HOW this got here.

i turn around, and see ADAM. ADAM DAHLBERG walk up to me with a fucking RING BOX IN HAND. stomach drops out of my ass. he comes up to me, opens the ring box to show a really ugly ring i can't even lie to you guys, and asks in FULL CONFIDENCE "do you want to be my like. lowkey girlfriend or something?" ?_]?++?^\?[ OKAY. OKAY,??? WHERE AM I. i am actually in PURE SHOCK i dont even know how to react in the dream. getting misgendered by adam dahlberg where am i. Oh my god

i then like, raise my hand and go "hold on, i have three things to say. one, aren't you married???" AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER STARTS BEATING AROUND THE BUSH 😭😭😭 "oh i won't be soon" and "that doesn't matter" bah bah bah ANSWER THE QUESTION LOSER.

i then move on like "okay, second, i'm a lesbian." and then he starts making comments like, ugh. you know. haven't found the right man, i could change you, etc etc. what people usually say to lesbians.

and my fucking. dream self goes in pure confidence. "oh no, i'm a llllesbain. i bump pussies." (😭😭?!:?2) and he goes silent. looks me up and down. and goes "ah, yeeeah. you really do look like a lesbian." AND THATS WHERE THE DREAM ENDS. MOTHERFUCKER! GET ME OUT OF HERE anyway hi team crafted nation sorry for the incredibly long post i JUST woke up.

[nijigasakilove]

Another banger episode man they’ve been cooking in this cour. feels like a directorial change or something. Episodes feel a lot more engaging and even in the scenes with dialogue they go by faster. Like Elmesia and Rimuru’s negotiations felt so fun and lively!

Everyone being concerned about Diablo going on a rampage is valid, dude is a primordial of unimaginable strength and seeing him just content as Rimuru assistant gotta feel weird. Glad they were able to work thru all the finer details and we got a new ally for tempest! Just having to notify your friends before you host another festival doesn’t sound too hard to me

“When you ain’t do shit on the assignment and get an A anyway”=gobta today Gobta vs Masayuki was fucking hilarious dude. Whole time masayuki trying to think of a way out of it and then Gobta and Ragna dumbasses knock themselves out 😂 Masayuki declining the win literally made him even more popular so even as the loser he’s the winner, PLUS Gobta has to train with Milim so yea GG

Masayuki and Rimuru now officially friends and he’s gonna be the poster boy of the dungeon, not a bad deal at all I’d say

[astrronomemes]

TEXT POST STARTERS II

a collection of quotes and quips from popular internet posts. change & alter as needed.

“I’ll be in my secret lab, gradually going insane and playing god.”

“I’m a nice person, but I’m about to start throwing rocks at people.”

“I’m about to cha-cha real smooth off a fucking cliff.”

“I’m majoring in making my life a living hell at idiot university.”

“I’m proud of you hits harder than crack.”

“Is my human suffering sexy enough for you, God? Is it getting you off, king?”

“It’s my god-given bisexual right to be dramatic.”

“Just found out my entire personality is a trauma response.”

“Kinda gay to make a wanted poster... why do you want that man? So you can hold him?”

“Leave me alone. I was literally made in a lab.”

“Losers try to tell me I emit ‘nuclear radiation’. Like, that’s my vibe, idiot.”

“Mad scientists will be like ‘I know a place’, and then strap you onto the autopsy table.”

“Might fuck around and become a false prophet.”

“My idealized version of you would’ve never said that.”

“My off-putting looks, awkward demeanor, and strange behavior have captivated you.”

“My skills include being a sleepyhead and a sweetie pie.”

“Not wearing a lab coat so the other scientists know I’m a whore.”

“Okay, yes, I may be evil and morally corrupt, but I’m also incredibly beautiful and I think that makes up for it, honestly.”

“Part of my creative process is going insane for three hours.”

“Remember to drink a fucking shit-ton of water every miserable day of your life, loser.”

“Say this with me. Manifest it. Make it real. I am not harmed by fire or explosives. Say that out loud. Remember it. The only thing that’s stopping you is your own head. Never stop grinding.”

“The sluttiest thing a man can do is love and cherish his cat.”

[seth-burroughs]

All the Yomispawn in one place. According to my mind

Takumi is uhhh. He looks to be a mix of Yomi and Vivia tbh but I don't like Vivia and Yomi's got the same opinion. Also both Yomi & Vivia are trans men canonically as decided by me so I don't think it's very possible and Vivia doesn't look motivated enough to even try anyway. I am assigning Takumi as hellxander baby for multitude of reasons one of which is that extremely efficient hitman with 9999999999 confirmed killz who likes to burn bodies in his spare time not to mention the Fifth Fucking Car™ could give life to the cringest most annoying loser I've ever seen in a Kodaka trailer

Unnamed girls from old limit x despair (rip in rest) poster and thl trailer are hellectro babies I don't think I have to explain that one. Ok so lxd girl could have just dyed her hair like The Father but I think it's funnier if she was just born that way because recessive genes n shit. Both inherited Martina's family curse (terrible eyesight) (Yomi also has shit vision but he doesn't let that stop him from doing activities such as not being able to read anything 2 meters away which is very brave and inspiring to us all)

Lastly Zero is a makoyomi baby. The reason why he's so fucking weird is because he's just so sad and acting out because his parents die every day by each others' hands and he can't make them stop and murdering people with balls is his coping mechanism

You might ask "why does Yomi have so many kids" and you will not get an answer. Are they all from separate timelines or do they all exist simultenously. That is for me to decide and for you to be disturbed or mildly intrigued perhaps changed by

[red-might-be-dead]

HI!!! I really love reading your JRWI opinions when they come up on my dash! Do you have favourite headcanons from any of the campaigns? Idk I just like hearing people’s different takes on characters. Have a nice day :D

AAA HI!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK EEE!!! okay i’m gonna go through a bunch of headcanons i like :33

i LOVE the trans chip headcanon (obviously) and i have a headcanon based off of that that’s not reeeally a proper headcanon, it’s like a fucking dumb one, but like, during the episode 15 fight gillion chopped chip’s tits off and that’s how he got his top surgery….

“dude! my fucking tits!”

“oh i am sorry chip, anyways fighting blah blah blah GILLION ATTACK!!”

y’know? uh yeah

i like the idea that william wears those dumb fucking roblox child wolf hoodies, let me find an image….

yeah these, i just think it’s really funny he’s such a fucking loser, also he has like wolf posters up in his room and his most used emojis are 🐺🥀💔🖤🫀💀 listen listen if you don’t think that he sends messages like

“just finished the homework 🐺 anyone need help 🖤🥀?”

then idk how to change your mind but trust me he does…..

uhhhh i have more one second…. OH YEAH jay ferin glasses wearer 100%, she doesn’t wear them like all the time but she wears them when she reads and when she works on her mechanical shit, also gillion has broken them countless times by accident and chip broke them a couple times on purpose because she looked “like a nerd”

keeperschampion made out in the bunker okay goodnight

[goldenpinof]

Gonna tinhat in your asks just because

I feel like it really WAS supposed to be a hiatus. They stepped away from the gaming channel and joint content bc Dan had a lot of projects he wanted to work on (the more serious content like big, the YouTube show, maybe even the solo tour) just to stretch his creative limbs and bc they needed to sort out the house/move, and uploading through all of that would be stressful. They were probably thinking 2-3 years tops. And then the world blew up and half of Dan's plans blew up with it

I feel like this return is GENUINE, like they've wanted to do it and just haven't been able to yet because Dan wasn't done with his stuff

i see that you have good points. it was very convenient to not have a gaming channel when they ended up living in a filming apartment with 0 space. but Dan constantly saying (through Phil sometimes) that he doesn't want to make that type of content anymore and doesn't want the gaming channel to return... it was very telling. only Phil was saying "maybe" because he was the only one actually wanting and needing it. that "maybe" was saved in case everything else went down. like a safety blanket that they always could pull out. which they did.

i understand Dan wanting a hiatus of sorts. he was burnt out. 2018 was a crazy year! it's just.. the vibes we started getting right after were very final. "Dan doesn't want it" was a final statement. and maybe he didn't want it because of other projects. he basically killed DanandPhil brand at some point, it was very apparent that he wanted to get out of that label. that he wanted a name outside a very successful duo they built throughout almost a decade. and it was fucking hard for him, you know. i understand that. the 1st project was ruined by youtube and covid. the company that he gave 10 years of his life let him down. it's a rough fucking start for a name building.

i'm simplifying a lot here, bear with me :))

i think the wad tour opened Dan's eyes a little bit. and i will take it as a win in the end of the day. it was starting very well and promising. the concept and 1st promo materials were well done. but then everything started wobbling and neither Dan nor his team was ready to deal with problems fast enough. and in contrary to how fuckups didn't really make a difference during ii NOW they made a difference. Dan couldn't make a name between 2019 and 2022, so he started going back and forth with his content. sometimes it wasn't clear who was the main target for videos, announcements and promos. i still don't know who initially was the target audience for his book. it can't be us! we know everything he wrote there. but marketing was so non-existent, it's scary how it could flop if he didn't have an audience based on DanandPhil™. his tour had somewhat of an audience also only because of the branding he was so determined to escape. although, there was a moment when he tried to advertise it for a wider audience, wasn't it? especially in the UK, where they had actual posters in the cities outside the venues. i remember having questions about why marketing shifted throughout the tour (while the script stayed the same! loser). i can't say that dystopia daily even had a target audience in mind rfbhfjekeeo

what i'm trying to say is, something changed in Dan's mind. there was a series of events that made him realise that coming back to dnpgames wasn't actually a bad idea. the European leg of his tour was the biggest mess i've ever seen. the fact that Dan explicitly threw shade on people he worked with only confirmed how bad things were. the search for a new management team, constant postponing of wad dvd, Phil's recycling content, and god knows what else – maybe it made him realise that a familiar content on a channel that everyone loves so much and will give views (and money) is what's best right now. new projects are always a risk. dnpgames isn't. and he still can work on something alongside. especially if he finally has new managers who will fight for his interests and property communicate with people they happened to work with. (allegedly. we don't know if he actually got new representatives).

if he actually had a 2-3 years plan (even 5 years plan, idc), the communicative language should have been different. but the only vibe i was getting from him right till yesterday was "i don't what to do what y'all are suggesting. period." and then he is talking about hope on twitter?! bro, as if it wasn't in your hands all this time 😭 i love him and i wish him all the best, and i'm rooting for his career more than for my own. but damn, does he not make it easy 😂

P.S. if turns out i'm wrong, forget i ever said anything. Thanos your memory out <3

[misseviehyde]

REWYND

Rebecca, Courtney and Alice had been friends for years now. The three Mom's met every Tuesday for their book club and to have a bite of lunch. All in their early forties - they still looked good for their ages, even if there was an occasional touch of grey in their hair.

One day as they were sat in the cafe having lunch - Rebecca noticed the poster for the 'Slutty School-Disco club night', encouraging the local students to attend the nightclub in fancy dress as naughty school girls and school boys.

"Imagine being eighteen again and going to something like that?" she giggled.

Courtney had hesitated and smirked, "Well - why not? What if I told you I had an age reversing potion? I haven't dared try it yet - but I did a favour for a friend who is a witch and she gave it to me as a reward. One little sip and it rewinds you back to whatever age you want to be."

Rebecca laughed, "Come off it Courtney. Don't be dumb - that's not possible."

"Oh... it is," smirked Courtney. "Let's try it and go to that disco. We deserve some fun, our husbands and children will never know. We can dress up like naughty schoolgirls and be eighteen year old hotties again."

The three woman looked at each other and nodded. It was agreed.

*********

Nervously looking at each other, the three Mom's each held a glass containing the Rewynd potion. Drinking a long draft they put the glasses down and waited.

"Eughhhh tastes horrid," spat Alice.

"So ummm.. what were you girls like when you were eighteen?" asked Alice nervously.

"Me? Oh... well, I was kind of a bitch," said Courtney. "I thought I was better than other people. It took me years to realise and change my ways."

"Yeah me too," muttered Rebecca. "I was such a bully. I grew out of it eventually."

"Oh," said Alice suddenly unsure. "I got bullied a lot when I was younger. I was a bit overweight and unconfident. I was very studious. It wasn't until my late 20's that I really came into myself."

She looked at the others - but they weren't listening. Instead they were looking down at their bodies and touching themselves with glee.

"Hey look... my boobs are DEFINITELY perkier and my skin is getting younger. It's actually working!"

"That's weird," gasped Courtney as she tossed back her thickening hair and grew younger and younger. "I just forgot how to change a nappy... oh my God this stuff is making our minds rewind too."

The Mom's groaned and gasped in pleasure as they reversed, not just physically but mentally too. Long years of experience were stripped away as they forgot about their forties and thirties and the knowledge they had gained.

"Ooooh yeah - this feels good," giggled Courtney. "Yeahhhh regress my mind... I wanna feel young and bitchy again."

She stretched happily moaning as her skin tightened and her face became bitchier and meaner. Expensive nails shot from her fingers as her face became smoother but crueler looking with cold evil eyes and soft pouting lips.

"Fuck yes, I'd forgotten how I LOVED being a tight young little bitch."

Rebecca was purring to herself too, grabbing her boobs and squeezing with a nasty grin. "All the boys are gonna fucking love these. I can't wait to suck some fucking cock."

The giggling bitches were eighteen again now, regressed into skinny, bad bitches with curves in all the right places. Busts jiggled and asses wiggled as they tore off their boring Mommy clothes and began to dress in the slutty schoolgirl outfits they had chosen before drinking the rewynd.

But the two girls weren't alone. In the corner sobbing uncontrollably was a fat, spotty nervous wreck of a girl. Alice had regressed to her nerdy eighteen year old self and she squeaked in fear as the two bitches... now dressed as slutty schoolgirls backed her into a corner.

All friendship forgotten - the bullies laughed as they towered over their former friend.

"What a fucking loser... eugh she's so fucking ugly."

"Please... no... I..."

Courtney laughed as she pushed Alice hard into the wall and watched her slide down with a groan.

"Hey Courtney, is this fucking rewynd potion like the only way to turn back to our old selves?" called Rebecca from the table.

"Yeah... if we drink it we can turn back to our 40 year old selves."

"How about we pour it down the sink then? I don't EVER wanna go back."

Laughing the two bullies emptied the potion out whilst Alice shrieked in horror.

"Now let's hit the disco and find some hot boys to fuck. We can bully this loser more when we get back."

The two new bitchy besties clopped off. This time their lives were going to be VERY different and Alice was going to hate every minute of it.

[tennisarchives]

some challengers thoughts (and major spoilers) under the cut 🎾

first things first: these bitches are Deranged. none of them will be seeing heaven. and i fucking love them lmfao give me that toxic mess !

also i am aware that this is supposed to be a drama but considering i am the master of finding the most irrelevant things hilarious, i was silent laughing throughout most of it lmao. good thing nobody was anywhere near me. but anyway moving on

at the start when tashi chooses the challenger that art will play, i was lmfao-ing at how she was on the atp wta app. like im sorryyyyy but that app is just,,, well. yeah. yall know.

prior to watching btw i had actually read a couple of spoilers & thought dumps on this movie BUT LIKE. NONE OF YALL MENTIONED THE CHILD. THE FUCK. those three fuckers were doing their toxic little mating dance while There Was A Child. brought a new level of fucked up to what they were doing that i truly didn’t expect. hope that kid gets therapy in the future

anyway art at the challenger should’ve had more crazy fans. like as a six time gs champ (who presumably didnt rly have consistent rivals like the big three lmao) he was literally a tennis Star. where are the crazy posters. cut outs of his face. smh he needs more groupies

patrick’s serve kinda reminds me of siniakova’s. anyway i don’t like it smdhdkdjks sorry siniakova but it bothers me how the motion gets cut up instead of being one fluid thing along with the toss. thats kinda just a me thing tho lmao

so the part at the party where those losers just kept awkwardly coming up to tashi? embarrassing tbh. secondhand shame well and truly alive in me

patrick has defo been into art the whole time btw like cmon. when tashi asked if they were a thing and art shot it down asap but patrick hesitated? ohhhh boy

tashi, on the other hand, is fascinating for me cause like. does she really like either of these men? no clue. it seems like she only does when she gets Both of them. which you know what valid i support her and her wrongs etc etc

in the doubles match when they celebrated on top of each other, i think a bunch of ppl in the theater were going all 👀 which i mean sure it’s valid in this case but uh. i was sitting there like that guy at the corner of the party meme thinking “they don’t know tennis players are just Like That actually” (many sports in general actually. the things footy boys do the pitch…… but i digress. still, it was weird to realize that most people are unaware of the homoeroticism of sport. wild!)

emotionally speaking, the thing that hit me the hardest was actually when the tv in the bg started talking abt how that mueller girl won wimby and was basically unstoppable. like the callback is insane and just OUCH it hurt so much because it was so Real imo? like. that is very much a scenario that can and does happen in tennis, and sport in general. there are always the random players who get injured or flop or just randomly retire, and it leaves us wondering: if they had still been at the top of their game, would the face of the sport have changed? so i empathized with tashi’s pain as she saw someone she had considered Below Her now rise to glory that tashi herself would never know. but, as we all know, if if if doesn’t exist. and that’s the thing that pained me the most.

random tinder lady was ridiculous sorry but like patrick literally just told her he was a total loser in tennis and then left her table to talk to another girl. i think she shouldve slapped him the fuck away instead of making out with him lmfao. like girl he is not hot enough for you to ignore the bullcrap. has he even showered. come on.

when tashi and patrick talked tho and she got mad at him for blowing smoke in her face? so real. i approve. i hate secondhand smoke soooo much bleh

that scene where art says he wants to retire and just flops his head on tashi’s lap and asks her to hold him????? only scene that made me feel actual Yearning. like damn get me a babygirl man like that. or let me be someone’s babygirl like that. like platonically or whatever idc just give me those soft touches i want that sensory experience

when tashi asked patrick to throw the match and patrick was like “how could you do this to him?” and basically said that asking that was Worse than her physically cheating on art. loved that shit. i was like damnnnnnnn that’s the all encompassing emotional nature of devoting your life to tennis babey!

in general actually a lot of their lines were soooo snappy and shit and like. i enjoyed that

but honestly my suspension of disbelief was kinda shattered a bit in the arguing in the car scene cause like. i was so fucking stressed. they were driving fast in the middle of a fucking storm at midnight and neither had a seatbelt i think and i swear there was a point where patrick looked at tashi for like five whole seconds while driving. LIKE PLEASE. god. can’t you guys be toxic bitches while obeying traffic rules? 😔

anyway. the camera shots from the floor during the match itself oh my GOD im obsessed. especially during the serve. wish i could gif those. god. yeah. yeahhhhh

speaking of the match though. idk some stuff with the scoring graphic felt off? i got a bit confused at some point. might be imagining it tho lmao

ball perspective was so fucking funny tho. i mean it worked i think but i kept thinking like imagine if we had ballcam with the tour big hitters. poor balls. they go thru so much. may they rest in peace.

when art just fell onto patrick at the end smash im sorry ik that was supposed to be a climax and shit but it was SO fucking funny

and finally: shoutout to art’s dead grandma. she moved the plot in ways she never even knew. legend 🙌🪦🕊️

so yeah i had a Lot of fun! though i truly have NO idea how this movie even looks to people who dont get tennis. or sports in general. must be a hell of a ride lol

(still probably a better intro to tennis than break point)

[elliesw1ft]

4ever🏹 E. W.

loser!ellie x reader

"is it every gonna change? am i gonna feel this way forever?" -4ever / clairo

•warnings bae!: smut, f1ngering, kissing, begging, swearing, just ellie eatin u out<3

•notesies: please reblog would mean so much 2 me!! fic by @elliesw1ft only on tumblr!

------------------------ᖭི༏ᖫྀ---------------------------------

"yeah, cya tomorrow dee!"

you wave at dina as your leave the campus. The sky was dark, cloudy, and you know its about to rain. You were planning on walking to your apartment since its not that far. Just a small 10 minutes walk. Maybe you'll take a taxi? That sounded like a better option than walking in the rain and getting sick tomorrow

You called a taxi and hopped on. All the way to the apartement you just stared through the window admiring the rainy downtown streets.

"Thank you"

You said to the driver while handing out a $20 bill. You rushed to the lobby entrance and went inside the elevator only to meet.... ugh... Ellie Williams. Not only does she go to the same campus as you, she is also you next door neighboor. Just great. You always had find her anoyying. But secretly, you kinda do have a crush on her. you see her, alot. Considering she is your neighboor after all.

Ellie looked like she was about to exit the elavator. But oddly, when you entered she didnt. She instead stayed there and went back to the 5th floor with you. You tried avoiding eye contact with her but Ellie did, she looks at you with a smile. "Hey y/n, where you've been pretty?" Ellie has always been a little... fruity? "Hey. Ellie. Got back from campus." Ellie just smirks and got closer to you making her hand touch your bare thighs making you..... nervous? What?

The elevator stop, you and Ellie exits the elevator together. "come over won't ya, pretty?" She asks you whilst smiling. "And what makes you think i will?" You asked with an annoyed face.

"Just think about helping out your neighboor not feeling so lonely."

"Loser."

"Is that a yes?"

"Fine. Whatever."

Okay, okay, you secretly want to come over. Your just a little shy?

You followed Ellie to her room like a lost puppy. Instead of going in to 508, like usual. You go in 509. Ellie's room. As you entered, you put you bag down and looked at ellie's room. Let's just say her room was very 'ellie'. Poster's of bands, hoodies and basic tops everywhere. On her bed. Even the floor. She's pretty messy.

"Sorry, bit messy."

A bit? It was a masive ship wreck.

You sat down on ellie's bed. You couldn't help to notice that the bed smells just like ellie. Ellie sits next to you. She carresess her fingers on your thighs. You swallow your own spit and looks everywhere but ellie.

"Why aren't you sayying anything? You like getting touched huh?"

"Maybe i do"

"Do you want me to continue?"

You swiftly nod. "Lay down babe" she demands. You lay down on ellie's warm bed. Ellie pins you down to her bed and whispers into your ears.

"I wanna taste you."

"Please do."

"How about you beg first babe"

"Please? Ellie?"

"Please what babe?"

"Please make me cum. Pleaseeeeeepleaseeee!"

"Since you asked sooooo nicely..."

Ellie kisses you on the lips and pulls down your shorts. She plays with your underwear before slipping in your wet cunt. "So wet already?" You just nod trying not to moan as her fingers slip in. You bite your lower lips and roll back your eyes.

She kept fingering you harder and harder making you moan louder. You swear the neighboors could hear you. But you didn't care.

"mgonna c-cum els"

"go on you little slut"

You made an absoloute mess on her bed. Ellie could care less honestly.

"Do you want me to clean you up babe?"

"Y-yeah su-sure"

"I'll make it quick"

"D-don't"

"If you insist."

Ellie stops fingering you and starts kissing your wet dippy cunt. She starts licking it like a little kitten. You put your fingers in your mouth as she tounge fucked you. "I fucking love you els" you said to her. She got closer to your face and makes out with you.

She continues eating you out. You swear you could pass out any moment. But you didn't want her to stop anytime soon. Moans escaped from your mouth over and over. Weren't you tired? Yes. Do you want her to stop? Absoloutely not.

You know you've been wanting this since forever. You know, after you broke up with your ex. It was a long story. You couldn't think about it right now while ellie's tounge was inside of you as you breathe heavily.

"Your mine. Forever."

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hiyyaa! Another short smut! Hope u liked it!! More soon<3<3<3 love yall babes

Lotsa lotsa loveeee from urs truly,

alisya♡

#elliewilliams #wlw #elliewilliamssmut #elliewilliamsxreader #elliewilliamsxyou