#just heard the news and im not happy about it

[yanderemommabean]

Hey It's been a while

First, I just want to apologize for being gone as long as I have. Things got to a heated point at home, and I had to postpone my move until August while facing some health concerns.

Im finally out of that god forsaken house. But it wasn't easy. They cornered me, and I cried for six hours trying to just hold on until the next day when I could go.

Im so so so fucking sorry I havent been able to be on here. I know you all must have been worried sick, and I should've at least made some update posts, but Ive been stressed as all hell in my new home trying to get insurance figured out so I can get insulin, trying to get a job for rent and Sammy's meds (he got diagnosed with heart worms, and im devastated at how long it's been going on so we're trying like hell to get him better, ive been up days in a row worried sick about it while waiting on job offers and its killing me).

I got to take Pixie, and she got checked out too and I havent heard anything, so that's good! I've been sick and trying to figure everything out, and was just not able to write like ive been wanting to. I had to leave behind one person i really didn't want to, who unfortunately is stuck with my family, and its also been eating at me.

I'm alive, just stressed and sick and trying to heal from abuse and the shock of not being yelled at for being sick and scared and making mistakes.

Again, Im so sorry you guys. I should have tried to update at all, I've just had so much going on and so much sickness. I am so grateful to have you guys at all, and the sweet messages you sent me made me smile when I finally logged in and read them.

I can't guarantee an everyday post like I usually used to do, but I'm going to try and at least be back more than I have been! I love you beans. I'm so sorry for the radio silence. Everything came to a fever pitch and has been nonstop trying to get settled in since I finally got away, which was the end of August. Before that, I was sick, unable to stand up without passing out, and barely eating because the abuse was so bad that staying in my room and starving was better than any interaction. I wont go into too much detail but the abuse was another large part I didn't want to post. Just bed rotting and hoping time would speed up to get me out of there.

Anyway, this was a terrible ramble, I'll hush, but thank you all so much for your messages, and im happy to be back! Even if just a bit at a time for now until im more settled in <3

Much love!

-Mommabean

[iliveinyourfridge67]

Talia after the cyclone fanfic

its really bad lol

It was a hot summer day, Monday, September 14. Talia woke up, excited, she was so happy. Why was talia so happy? Well! Her online boyfriend, Mischa, had just told her that he finally gathered enough money to come to ukraine and visit her! Talia needed to clean fast before he came in a few days. Her house was a mess, Talia walked through all the clutter on the messy bedroom floor, stepping on needles, stepping on CD’s stepping on toys, Talia tip toed her way through. 

I need my headphones

Talia thought, she scrambled through all her mess and finally found it, she took out her phone and as soon as she picked it up she found 248 unopened messages from him.

My bad egg:

Hey baby

Hey babe

Im going to sing at the fall fair

You know i being in this

Chorus 

Its okay baby, i hope you have fun

Love you, wanna rolepla-

They texted on and on for hours, as Talia listened to, This Song is Awesome by the bad egg.

Talia cooked herself breakfast and imagined her and mischa, on her deck with 3 of his babies, ah, how she wants him so bad. Hes such a bad boy she giggled to herself.

My bad egg:

Hey babe, im here at the park, 

Its so boring

Lol baby your so funny

They texted on for hours 

Going on a roller coaster, the cyclone

   Ok baby have fun

Its so boring 

Well what did you do fun today?

Read: 2 minutes ago

Read:20 minutes ago

Read:9 hours ago

Read: 10 days ago

She was so tired of him ghosting her, what did she even do to him

Each day went by as she thought of all the things she could have done to stop her from ghosting him. 

Talia threw away her headphones, and deleted all their messages, she was so angry about what he had done to him. 

.    .    .

Suddenly she heard a call

She picked up the phone to hear the faint words of her boyfriend

“I cant get no-”

Suddenly it cut out, she sat there, knowing he was either pranking her, or butt dialing her, but whatever, she didn’t care anyways

3 months later

Talia watched TV, she had completely forgotten about what happened with her online, troll, boyfriend. 

She saw on the channel was news from Uranium city

The cyclone incident bodies have finally been identified

Ocean o connel rosenberg…

“This is so boring”

Just as Tali

a was about to turn the TV off

Mischa… 

A photo of her online boyfriend painted on the screen 

Then she realized..

[samarecharm]

My younger sister is playing the base p5

[piplupod]

feels like the isolation is a gushing wound and going to the centre is just a small bandage. i think perhaps i am not really ever going to feel okay unless something miraculous happens. i am retaining some semblance of sanity now that I'm leaving the house and socializing with non-family more than once a week, but i am still hurting more than I can really tolerate and I don't know what to do about it. there doesn't seem to be a fix for this that I can enact.

[martyrbat]

so many of you talk about the cruel adults in your childhood that negatively effected you and caused lifelong insecurity yet you're still perfectly fine with being that mean stranger to any kid that has the misfortune of existing around you and thats just really gross !!!

[saeshiraw]

tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry

[turtlemagnum]

when i was younger and hung out around my uncle a lot more than i do now, i remember whenever he referred to things regarding his native heritage, he always just called it "indian". called himself an indian, called the words he taught us indian, so on. since i was a little kid who didn't know any better, i didn't know that "indian" in the context of indigenous americans was a very broad, frankly bastardized term to paint a vast variety of cultures spanning two whole damn continents with one brush. it only occurred to me as i got much older than i was at the time that there'd be more than one "indian" language, and up until now since i had no idea what tribe(s) he even is i couldn't even begin to know where to look unless i found a download of every goddamn interlingual dictionary available and painstakingly checked every godddamn one for what their word for "thunder" is

the word he taught us meant thunder was hiloha. i didn't even know how to spell it until now, because he only ever said it aloud. literally just a few minutes ago, i decided to ask my grandma (his sister) if we knew what tribe(s) he belonged to. and apparently he's a mix of choctaw and makah. which gave me a lead, which led to me finding a dictionary on libgen, which led to me word searching "thunder" in the choctaw to english dictionary. it's the only word i remember him teaching us, and i'm unsure if he ever tried teaching us others. but it was his dogs name, and he was a damn good boy, so i remembered it clear as day. though, they normally shortened it to "hilo".

so, i guess what came out of this is that i now know a bit more about my uncle's heritage, and where to look for more research. so, if you're gonna have a takeaway from this, i'd appreciate it if you remembered the word "hiloha". it means thunder. and aside from being the name of a very good boy who deserves to be remembered, i think it's even more important to remember the histories, cultures, and of course the languages of all the indigenous folks who came before us and did their damndest to preserve their cultures in spite of it all.

[dockaspbrak]

A big thank you to my mutuals who like my nervous breakdown 2-4am posts. You're the backbone of my blog

[nyphren]

as someone who has no emotional attachment to cayde whatsoever (i was literally not here for it lol) ppl being bitchy about his fans being happy are really annoying ngl

if your big complaint about him coming back is "god his fans are SO annoying, they are already flooding the tags whaaa".... you are being just as insufferable tbh

[pl-ceh-lder]

i got so unbelievably fucking lucky with my roommate i can’t believe it like i cant even put into words how much i love them and how grateful i am for their patience and consideration and consistency

as much i love them all, i really think if i lived with anyone else in our program the sheer stress of the work would bleed into the home and they wouldnt be as tolerant or cognizant of my peculiarities, so i think i truly am very blessed to have all that i do and i’m glad my roommate and i can grow and learn and accommodate one another together instead of letting stubbornness and different needs pull us apart

[moonsidesong]

u kno i really enjoyed watching hfjone with my friends and they loved it too but part of me is just a little sad they didnt get to watch the early first season with the added context of having grown up on object shows. like. obviously i made them watch bfdi first so they’d understand the point of it being a subversion but, like. having watched so many of these silly little competition shows as a kid it really adds to the Discomfort of those early episodes. like all the pieces of the competitions youve always known are there but it feels Wrong. its just a little sad they didnt get to experience that part like i did lol

[night-dragon937]

gods listening to music of artists that i've gone and seen in concert/at raves and just like. reliving the euphoria of the moment when i was there at the live performance like. obviously sitting at my desk with my headphones is not the same as being at a rave or concert but i can kind of capture some of the memory and those good feels are just smth else

[eternalstateofoctober]

i dont know if i made a mistake but i’m so stressed out right now damn it

[pizzapizzadickz]

I've been popping pills like they're candy lately. (Also known as I've been in pain a lot and my allergies are horrible bc of all the mold in my room).

[skrunksthatwunk]

pov im sitting in my bed with a tragically high concentration of cat litter in it reeling bc i just conked out super hard unexpectedly for like 4 hours and i dreamt about getting mauled by tiktok star owned pool-bound great white sharks and i wake up and my roommate's boyfriend is talking about how nice her ass looks and i just want to go back to sleep and not hear this but i can't get to sleep and i don't wanna fake wake up bc it feels a little late at this point and because i feel a little awkward getting in their way just sitting in my corner of the room not talking bc they're cute and i want them to flirt and stuff just not here and also while they think im asleep like im so sorry but please go fuck in a car or something. kick me out throw me in the river even i just don't want to be here while y'all get sloppy verbal-style. if you need me i'll be floating down the mississippi where you put me. kind regards,

[kaidatheghostdragon]

Found this while going through my fanfic files, and i absolutely had to share.

Danny: i want in

Red robin: …what?

Danny: your bat family. I want in.

Red robin, blinking in surprise: i dont know what you think you know about my associates, but we're not-

Danny: dont be obtuse. I know youre the smart one. And i also know that your all one big relatively happy family. I want in.

Red robin: …why?

Danny: because you guys are the first people ive found that are wealthy, intelligent and powerful enough to take on my fruitloop godfather and win AND are decent enough human beings that i can be assured that when all is said and done, my well-being will remain a top priority.

Orphan, appearing out of nowhere: new brother!

Danny: *stares in shock*

Danny: *sudden uncanny grin* well that's one convinced. How do i win over the rest?

Orphan: no need. New brother!

Red robin: *pointed glance of betrayal* fine. Who is your godfather?

Danny: vlad masters. He's a fruitloop.

Red robin: for real? B's been investigating him for years! Tell me everything! *genuinely excited for a new lead*

Danny: well, he's tried to murder my dad and marry my mom, gained his wealth illegally, committed voting fraud to become the mayor of my hometown, has a secret underground lab where he does unethical experiments, and he's abducted me more than a dozen times even before my parents disowned me to make me his evil apprentice or whatever. Now that im homeless, he's literally out to get me. Oh! And he's cloned me too! She's cool though, we're buddies now.

Batman, who just arrived but heard everything over comms: hn. (Translation: who are you?)

Danny: my name is Danny. No last name anymore, but im hoping itll soon be Wayne! *winking suggestively*

Batman: hn? (how much do you know?)

Danny: enough to know that youre a much better alternative to vlad.

Batman: …hn (i dont know anything about you. What if youre a spy for vlad?)

Danny, giving his salesman pitch: i was a teen vigilante in amity park before i had to run away from home for my own safety. Vlad is one of my rogues. I know how to fight and defend myself, how to minimize collateral damage in a fight, and ive gotten really good and escaping kidnapping attempts. Ive also managed to reform and/or make allies out of approximately half of my rogues and can talk down about 30% of all rogue confrontations before they turn into a messy fight. The other things i can bring to the table are: one, i can teach all of you guys proper liminality self care; two, i can probably minimize and possibly cure red hood's anger issues; three, i can get along with stabby robin because i consider fighting a friendly social interaction - he can even stab me and i wont be injured by it; four, i can be your go-to guy for supernatural cases so you no longer have to deal with that sad trenchcoat man; five-

Red robin: *blurting* youre hired.

Batman: hn (i am deeply concerned)

Danny: if youre concerned now, wait until i tell you about the anti ecto control act

Nightwing, who showed up in the middle of the sales pitch: ive never seen anyone crack B's grunt language so quickly

Danny: grunt language? He's just using ghost speak - which will be covered by the liminality self care lessons

Robin, who arrived with batman: what is a liminal?

Danny: all of you, of course! Otherwise you wouldnt need to learn about it, obviously

Robin: and why would we trust you?

Danny: did i mention i have a pet ghost dog?

Robin: …you drive a hard bargain

Danny, fist pumping: yes! That's three!

Nightwing: four, you got me when you could understand B's grunting

Red Hood, arrived with nightwing: five, assuming you arent lying about the pit rage

Danny, hand to his chest: i would never!

Orphan: honesty. Earnest. New brother.

Oracle, over comms: six. The anti ecto acts are legit and im terrified for his safety, assuming he's phantom, who is the vigilante of amity park

Spoiler, arrived with orphan: seven, as long as youre down for a few pranks

Batman: hn (ive been outvoted)

Batman: hnn (i dont wanna hear any jokes about adoption habits when you all forced my hand)

Batman: hn (that said)

Batman: welcome to the family

Duke, the next day: man, i miss out on everything exciting.

Duke, blinded by danny: and who the fuck told bruce he could adopt the fucking sun?!