#just me and sebastian and his cologne up in that jacket

[purple-babygirl]

oh to be a little bucky barnes doll hanging out in sebastian stan's pocket with no worries and no responsibilities

[malice-ov-mercy]

Waking Up in Vegas

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Reader

Content Warnings: 18+!, implied sexual encounter, mentions of alcohol and gambling, friends to lovers

A/N: inspiration taken from this post from @madomens

Word Count: 2k

Tag list: @circle-with-me @xxrainstorm @foliosriot @nyxthedestroyerofworlds @reader13000 @sammyjoeee @cookiesupplier @concretenoah @witchyweeb34 @an-insane-day @lyschko666 @calisto-thoughts @agravemisstake @emzandthevoid @shroomfairy24

If you would like to be added, please let me know for who! If you tell me everyone/everything, just know that includes anything I may write for Bad Omens AND/OR Lorna Shore!

Noah Masterlist

“I feel like three years of my life has been wasted. What if I never find the one, Noah?” You pouted, sitting in the edge of the plush hotel room bed.

Noah sat beside you, pulling you close to him and tucking you under his arm. He pressed a quick kiss to the side of your head. It hurt him to see you so heartbroken and not yourself.

The breakup blindsided you both. Your—now ex— partner abruptly ended things a week before your four year anniversary. They offered no explanation and then just disappeared off the face of the earth.

“You haven’t wasted anything, (Y/N).” He hooked his thumb under your chin and turned your head so you were looking at him. “It’s their loss, not yours.”

Water welled in your eyes. Noah frowned. Gently, he cupped your face and wiped your tears with his thumbs.

“Hey, no crying. You’re too pretty to be crying over some loser.”

The sound of your small chuckle made his heart flutter. He smiled softly. You offered a weak smile of your own. How your ex so easily bared to drop you baffled him. Clouds surrounded you, but to Noah, you were still the living embodiment of warm sunshine.

“Thank you, boba.”

Noah scrunched his face, making you laugh louder. He always acted like he hated the nickname, but you knew he adored it, simply because it came from you.

He kissed your forehead then stood, holding his hand out for you.

“C’mon. Vegas awaits. We’re gonna make you forget all about the last three years.”

Come 2:00 AM, you and Noah were lost to the chaos of Las Vegas. At this point, you were sure your blood was mostly alcohol. You won big at a few casinos, but ultimately ended your night breaking even. The world spun more than you remembered. Standing up right was hard and walking wasn’t much easier.

Noah stumbled along close behind you, his hand safely on your lower back. You spotted a bench and your feet started screaming at you. You made a beeline for it, leaving Noah behind and to chase after you.

A heavy groan loud enough to wake the dead left your body as you collapsed onto the bench. Sharp stinging pain shot through your feet. Your hotel wasn’t far, but if you walked one more second, you would crumble.

“Oh my god,” you said out of breath. “You may have to carry me back to the hotel, Noah. I can’t walk any further.”

He scoffed and joined you. “If I wasn’t so fucked up, I would. I’d absolutely drop you the second I tried.”

You giggled. “I guess we’re just stuck here then.”

Noah hummed in response. He draped an arm across the back of the bench. You leaned into his side and closed your eyes. The harsh brightness and flashing of signs started to hurt your head. Noah dropped his arm and softly ran his fingers over the white fabric of your suit jacket. His cologne swirled around in your nose.

Briefly, you dozed off in the warming comfort of Noah’s embrace. For as long as you’ve known him, Noah provided a safety you never experienced. He always went out of his way to make you feel cared for and loved. Every special occasion or hard time, he was there. The world truly blessed you with the greatest and best friend anyone could ever ask for.

You opened your eyes, squinting and blinking to readjust to the Vegas cityscape. The hustle and bustle of the night invaded your fuzzy thoughts. A plethora of signs littered the space above sidewalks and building walls. Clubs, bars, sex shops, restaurants, and so much more.

Out of the corner of your eye, a bright pink heart neon sign caught your attention. You squinted at it. Not far from it was a small structure that poorly resembled a chapel. A sinking filling filled your chest. Three years of memories rushed back to the forefront of your brain. Thoughts of what could have been consumed you.

“You okay?” Noah’s gentle voice cut through the heartbreak in your head.

You looked up at him. His brows were furrowed. The obnoxious heart shaped sign reflected in his eyes back at you.

“Can you promise me something?”

“Of course, anything.”

You tore your gaze away, suddenly finding yourself unable to look at him. Your eyes wandered back to the chapel.

“If neither of us are married or in a committed relationship by the time we’re like forty, can we just marry each other?”

Noah shifted and drew your attention. He blinked at you, clear confusion on his face.

“I don’t wanna end up alone, Noah.” Your voice cracked.

“(Y/N)…” Noah cupped your face. “You won’t be alone. You’ve got me. Always.”

You smiled half heartedly. “I appreciate that, but I’m serious.” You placed your hands over his. “Promise me.”

Noah studied you. His hesitation scared you. It was a big request and one you probably should not have made while severely intoxicated, but you definitely wouldn’t have the courage to ask him sober.

“You’re seriously asking me to marry you?” Noah spoke, his tone sounding incredulous.

You nodded.

He mimicked a fish out of water, mouth opening and closing repeatedly.

Nausea bubbled in your gut, either from alcohol or anxiety as you waited for an answer.

A few more seconds of awkward silence passed before Noah’s lips curved into a tiny smirk. He chuckled lightly and extended a pinky finger. You hooked yours around his.

“I hope for your sake you’re happily with someone by then. I’d make a terrible husband.”

You playfully shoved his shoulder. “Are you kidding me?! You came with me on an anniversary celebration because my ex dumped me last minute and it was too late to refund. You are absolutely husband material.”

Maybe it was all the colorful lights, but you swore you saw Noah blush. With a nervous cough, he stood up. His eyes really were perfect little boba in the night light.

“We should probably head back to our hotel.” He held out his hand. “It’s so late and I’m exhausted.”

You grabbed his hand and hoisted yourself up. The sudden shift made your head spin. A wave of intense dizziness washed over and you nearly knocked Noah down. He was quick to catch you.

“Can we go to one more place first?”

“(Y/N)…”

“Please, boba?”

With a defeated sigh, Noah interlocked your fingers.

“Fine. But you're paying for the ride back.”

Dragging a reluctant Noah behind you, you start towards the chapel. Curiosity was killing you. You wanted to see what it looked like inside and desperately wanted a picture of the neon sign.

Sun beamed through the floor to ceiling window. It was millions of miles away, but it settled right over your eyes. You grumbled, feeling the throb of a hangover poke at your brain. You reached up to shield your eyes from the sun’s dreaded light, but your hand smacked something warm and soft. It made a displeased noise, then you felt your body being pulled closer.

You realized you were caught in someone’s embrace. Panic prompted your eyes to fly open. Noah’s sleeping face greeted you and you relaxed. It wasn’t entirely unusual to be cuddled together, but you were pressed flush against his bare chest, not an inch of space between your bodies. You could feel the steady, strong rhythm of his heart.

“It’s not polite to stare, (Y/N),” Noah rasped, voice heavy and thick with sleep.

He opened one of his eyes and peeked at you, a lazy smile on his face.

“Did I wake you up?”

“You kind of smack me in the face.” Noah chuckled, pulling you even closer in his embrace.

His chin rested on top of your head. He drew gentle circles on your bare back, the tender caress softly tugging at the lingering sleepiness. You threw one of your legs over his and nuzzled into his chest, sighing contently and enjoying the warmth of his soft skin. The realization you were both naked dawned on you suddenly.

“Noah?”

“Hm?”

“What did we do last night?” You asked.

You pulled away enough to look at him, noticing a small, barely visible mark on his jaw. Noah met your stare. His eyes then went to your neck and chest.

“Well,” he spoke, bringing his left hand to your neck and trailing a finger down to your chest, “judging by the marks and the lack of clothing, I’d say we fucked.”

A blush spread over your face at the bluntness of his words. He hooked his index finger under your chin. Dark, mischievous eyes stared back at you.

Noah ran his thumbs over your bottom lip. “Would you like a refresher?”

Embarrassed and flustered, you tried to wriggle from him. He laughed lightly but didn’t let you stray too far. You furrowed your brows, trying to display fake annoyance. Your expression softened as he intertwined your fingers. Noah gazed lovingly at you. Warmth filled your heart and spread through you. You smiled softly at him. He mirrored the gesture.

Your eyes fell to your hands. There were rings on your fingers that weren’t there last night— Noah’s a simple black band and yours a simple silver band that had started to turn your finger green. You racked your brain trying to remember where you could have possibly gotten jewelry, but drew a blank. Noah followed your gaze, equally perplexed.

Details of the night were hazy and far away. There was lots of drinking, that much you knew. The pounding in your head reminds you of that. You remembered your luck running fry at tables and slot machines. After that, the picture in your head was scrambled and jumbled. Some pieces had pink in them, another had a paper with yours and Noah’s signatures—but your name looked different. Your last name wasn’t there. It was—

“OH MY GOD!”

You sat up and put significant distance between you and Noah, startling him with the sudden shift and volume of your shout. You glanced back at Noah, sheer panic on your face and concerned confusion on his.

“WE GOT FUCKING MARRIED.”

The picture finally came together in your head. The pink of the neon sign, the marriage certificate, Noah convincing you to get cheap rings as “place holders” until he could ”give you a proper ring”, pouncing on each other the moment the hotel room door closed.

Your head spun from the memories.

“Forty came quicker than I expected.” Noah joked.

You gave him an exasperated sigh and cradled your head in your hands. Sheets ruffled behind you and the spot beside you dipped. Noah wrapped an arm around you and nestled you into his side.

“Okay, not the time for jokes. Sorry.” He pecked the top of your head. “If you want, we can look into getting an annulment.”

“If I want?” You looked at Noah. “What about you?”

He shrugged. “I don’t hate the idea of being your husband.”

His statement rendered you speechless. You looked at the ring on your finger. Honestly, there was no reason you could think of that against being married to him. Every future you ever envisioned always featured Noah in some way, either by your side at the altar or across from you.

You looked back at the soft boba eyes watching you. You cupped Noah’s jaw and pulled him into a tender kiss, not caring an ounce about his or your morning breath. Butterflies took flight in your stomach and made a home in your heart. You smiled into the kiss, and so did Noah, followed by sets of giddy giggles.

“I don’t know about you, tea, but I’m starving. How ‘bout some food?”

Noah gazed at you. You looked at him confused.

“‘Tea’?”

“Yeah,” he said matter of factly, like the randomness of the word was obvious. “What’s boba without its tea?”

You outwardly cringed. “You are not calling me ‘tea’.”

“Puddin’?”

“Better.”

“Spouse?

“Perfect.”

[0fth34byss]

Sex Isn't Love | Part 2

Noah Sebastian x female reader

Minors, please DNI

🔞⚠️: references to sex, kissing

808 words

Part 1

“Hey.” Noah spoke softly like he was trying not to startle you.

“What are you doing here, Noah?”

You weren't really sure what to think as you felt your stomach sink. This must have only been the third or fourth time he'd actually been to your place. When you hung out, it was always at his place and on his terms.

“I found something you left in my car. I thought you may want it back,” Noah explained as he pulled a Chapstick from the pocket of his hoodie and handed it to you.

“You came all this way for the sake of a Chapstick?”

Noah looked everywhere but at you, “I, um, I guess.”

“Well, thanks. So, how are you?” You asked, attempting to cut through the awkwardness which was filling the space between you both.

Digging your keys out of your jacket pocket, you made your way to your door. Noah towered over you and his cologne filled your nostrils as he instinctively tucked your hair behind your ear. His touch sent an icy shockwave down your spine. As you met his gaze and you could have sworn he began to blush.

“I'm good. Listen, I was hoping we could talk. Can I come in?” Noah said hopefully.

Those damn eyes. You could never say ‘no’ to those eyes. Without responding out loud, you stuffed your feelings towards Noah to the back of your mind, unlocked the door and held it open for him as you stepped inside.

“Drink?” You offered, trying to keep your cool as you scanned the apartment for any mess you hadn't cleaned up yet.

“Um, sure. Whatever you're having would be great, please.”

You'd never seen Noah look so uncomfortable as you handed him a can of Sprite from the fridge. He was usually so self-assured when he was around you. Had he really taken you calling it quits that badly?

After some mindless smalltalk about work and local news stories, you began to probe. “What was it you wanted to talk about?”

You could almost hear the air escape from his lungs as your question took him by surprise.

“Us,” Noah uttered.

“What about us?”

“I don't think we should end things.”

Now it was your turn to be taken by surprise. “I told you, I need more than what was a situationship at best.”

“The last few days without any contact with you made me realise -”

“Noah, don't you dare try and play that fucking card. I've been down that road before and I am never letting myself go there again.”

“So you don't have feelings for me too?” Noah retorted.

You were genuinely dumbfounded to the point you didn't believe you'd heard correctly, “What do you mean ‘too’?”

Noah took a long stride towards you as you felt your cheeks flush scarlet.

“I'm trying to tell you that I've fallen for you and I want us to give dating a shot. The thought of never seeing you again has been killing me and I'll bet you’ve felt the same.”

“Bold of you to assume. In any case, dating would mean we'd actually have to do more than just fuck or watch movies and eat takeout at your place. Have we ever done anything together outside the realm of that?”

Noah took another step forward so he was mere inches away from you. Your breathing became synchronised with his as you looked up at him. The physical closeness quickened your heartbeat so much you were convinced he could hear it.

He gently pressed his hand to your cheek as he spoke, “I know you feel it too. I know you better than you think.”

“Noah, this is real life, not a fucking rom-com!” You hissed.

“I'm serious!” he raised his voice, slightly annoyed.

“How can you be into me? I'm nothing, a nobody, and you, you're, you're -” you started.

“Just say it. Stop fucking around,” Noah growled, pressing his forehead to yours.

You could barely manage more than a whisper, “You're everything, Noah.”

He crashed his lips into yours, pulling you in for a slow, deep kiss. You must have kissed him a hundred times, but never like this. This was different. It was fuelled by intimacy and affection rather than pure lust.

You reluctantly pulled away from him to catch your breath and clear your head while you figured out what you wanted to do. It then dawned on you that you'd never actually spent time with Noah without sleeping with him. If you were going to date him for real, you needed to be sure there was more to the relationship than just sex - and that him wanting to date you wasn't some fuckboy game he was playing.

With that you made up your mind, “Yes, I'll date you, but no sex until we know it's real.”

Part 3

[sebstan2020]

Serve Me Tonight

Pairings: Sebastian Stan X Reader

Summary: Sebastian has had a long night at his premiere and comes home to you waiting to serve him

Warnings: Sex, Smut, Dom/Sub, BDSM, Caning, Flogging, Foot/Boot Worship, Slapping, Orgasm Denial, Orgasm Delay, Blow Job, Bondage, Sir Kink, Praise Kink, Humiliation, Degradation, Cumming Inside, Punishment

You waited patiently on your knees, naked as the day you were born, hair silky smooth and cascading down your smooth skin which was freshly washed and smelling of Chanel. Black leather cuffs encased your wrists and ankles, with silver rings dangling from them.  The butterflies in your stomach hadn’t stop swarming, filling you with nerves and excitement. The room was silent, cold even despite the warmth from the radiator a few metres away from you. Your eyes kept flickering to the door, quickly falling back down to the floor as you didn’t want to be caught already. It felt like an eternity kneeling here, waiting for him to come back, but you did as he asked.

The sound of floorboards creaking made your stomach flip with thrill, straightening your back to perfection while the never-ending waiting carried on. You took one final peak at the door before you heard the handle push down with authority, the door opening wide with power. You could smell his rich aroma from where you were kneeling, a scent you knew all too well. You wanted to look up and see him but knew that was an infraction. He stepped over with pride, instantly towering over you when he stood not far. You caught sight of his ensemble. Black boot like dress shoes and tight-fitting trousers with a crease down the middle. He was already making you wet and you hadn’t even seen his face.

“Looks like you can follow orders then” he said swiftly, voice dominating and slightly condescending, but it brought a little grin to your face. There was always a tingle inside you when you were humiliated, shitted on, degraded. Something about Sebastian telling you how much of a fuck up you were turned you on and yet the very opposite did the same. Any praise he delivered made you wet and horny and needy for more. Just a simple good girl had you swooning. It was almost dangerous what he could do to you.

He was taking a dig at you from last time, the fact you clearly didn’t follow his instructions when he left you and came back to finding you lazy around on the sofa, completely disregarding his authority and command. You defiantly weren’t going to make that mistake this time.

“Yes Sebastian” you whispered and a hand straight away went to your jaw, lifting it up so he could look you in the eyes from where he was towering over you, shadowing you on the floor. You nearly gasped as you looked up at him. When he left, he was dressed in casual clothes, leaving to get ready for the premier of his latest film and now he was dressed like a boss, oozing with power and richness. Matching his dark trousers, he wore a cotton turtleneck jumper, the darkest black you could think off with a small print of Prada on the front and a double-breasted jacket buttoned. His long hair was silky smooth and messily combed back, a few strands dropping in front of his face and paired with his beard, he looked delicious. Your pussy instantly twitched looking up at him and even the idea of him being clothed and you being naked made him have more power.

“What did you call me” his said softly, his voice commanding but not aggressive.

“I mean yes Sir” you corrected, hoping you’d get away with it. It was an honest slip up. He smirked devilishly, his fingers curling around your chin, long and soft, his cologne filling your nostrils as it lingered on his wrist.

“That’s better” he dropped your head and stepped around you, walking to the plush chair behind you.

“I have had a long night and tonight you are here to serve me and do what I say, isn’t that right” he called behind you, his voice rising with volume and you heart fluttered with pleasure.

“Yes Sir” you answered sweetly, and a soft chuckle came from him.

“Turn around, come here” he ordered, dropping down casually into the chair, folding one leg over the other, his foot bouncing. You turned around, slowly crawling over to him, your eyes peaking under your dark lashes and back down again as you reached him, kneeling before him like a slave to their master. You licked your dry lips to moisture them, holding back the exciting grin you wanted to show. The table of toys was just behind him, all laid out perfectly and neatly. The decisions he could make with those thrilled you, had you curious as to what he was going to do with you tonight.

“Tonight, is about me, not about you. You’re here to do what I want and if you’re good enough then I might just do what you want, do you understand” he raised a brow as he stared down at you, his look both intimidating and captivating.

“Yes Sir” you nodded your head quickly, unable to contain yourself.

“Good” he murmured. He turned around, reaching over to the table behind him and picked up one of the implements, the cane. One of the most painful toys to use on you, but also most pleasurable. The control it had making you scream, giving you red marks, almost scaring you to submission was hot. Maybe because you were a pain slut or just a masochist or maybe because you’d let Sebastian do just about anything to you as long as it pleased him. Either way it both frightened and turned you on. He ran the cane through his hand, long fingers wrapping around the thin bamboo, teasing you.

“So, what are you going to do to please me?” he asked. He loved this, exercising his power and control over you. Where was the fun if he just told you want to do all the time. He wanted to be served and that’s what you were going to do. The swarm of butterflies had calmed down but now they were fluttering again, you brain trying to rack for an answer. Why was it when you needed to answer you went completely blank. You shuffled on your knees, nervously looking around and back to him.

“I’ll do whatever you want Sir” you answered, and he scoffed.

“So, fucking boring. Do you think I’m here to do all the work tonight. Come on, I want to hear something interesting, not just I’ll do whatever you want, make me interested” he mocked and you sunk down, biting you lip. You hoped that answer would see you through to the next round, but it’s clearly set you back.

“I’ll worship you” you said quickly, hoping it would please him and a tilt of his head said a good sign.

“Now I like that… how are you going to worship me?” he was intrigued.

“I’ll worship your body Sir, and your feet and you cock and any other place you’d like me to worship” you voice went a little quiet to the end, praying it would be enough to earn you closer to serving him.

“Good girl” he smiled, and he lifted his foot off his leg, spreading it out in front of him.

“You see these shoes?” he pointed to his dress show with the cane, the tip inches from it and you felt a tingle to your pussy, your body heating up.

“Do you know how much they cost?” you shook your head no. “No Sir” you whispered.

“Well, they cost a lot and I don’t want them to get dirty, so why don’t you start cleaning them” you knew exactly what he meant, and a grin appeared on your lips as you bent over.

“Yes Sir” you stuck your tongue out, licking up the length of the boot, catching sight of the red bottoms. Fuck, they defiantly must cost a lot. They weren’t even dirty except for some dust on the bottom but it was pleasing him, and it made you wet. The leather was hard and strong to your tongue, a tangy taste lingering on your tastebuds every time you wetted your tongue. Your pussy was dripping, slick running down your thighs, your clit tingling and aching to be touched. You could sneakily move your hand down there and give yourself a little rub but if Sebastian saw he’d punish you until you were sobbing and begging for forgiveness.

“Mmm good girl” he praised, and you grinned, blushing like a love-struck teenager. You pressed a kiss to the toe of his shoe, trailing them slowly, showing how much you worshipped him like he was a god. You licked the bottom of his shoe, the bright red soles shining as you licked all the way up, dust lingering on your tongue and tasting foul, but you ignored it. You’d do anything for him right now, even eat the dirt he walks on if that’s what he wanted.

“Now the other” he ordered, and you moved to the next shoe, repeating what you just did. As you licked and kisses and worshipped, you felt the tip of the cane slowly trace your back, teasing and tempting you. It made you stop for a moment, but you resumed quickly. He trailed the cane along your spine, up to your neck and gave it a little tap, the bamboo hard and leaving a tingle there.

“Good girl, I like this, watching you worship me like this” he praised again.

“Thank you, Sir” you smiled again.

“Now start up my leg” he pointed to the bottom of his leg, just around his ankle and you set up worshipping there. You pressed a kiss to his tight trousers, breathing in hard and running your face up the inside of his leg, peaking up from your lashes and catching that smirk on his face, those beautiful blue eyes watching you in pleasure, the cane twiddling between his fingers. But they made you a bit too excited and you rushed to his thigh, reaching for his belt to undo and reach in for his cock. You were hungry for it, eager to please it and taste it. But a swift slap to your face had to halting.

“I didn’t say you could take my cock out yet, did I?” he scolded, and you whimpered.

“No Sir” you knew you fucked up and the disappointed cross look on his face said it all.

“Bend over now, you need to be punished” he pointed to the ground in front, and you immediately followed his order, your heart beating fast, palms turning sweaty. You felt the coldness of the cane touch your bare ass, rubbing across.

“You touch my cock when I say, not when you decide, do you understand” he said.

“Yes Sir… Ahhh!” you yelped as the cane struck you, harsh and terrifying and leaving a long red mark of sting and burn across your ass.

“Thank you, Sir,” you thanked him, thanking him for your punishment which you deserved.

“Now continue, on my legs” he made it clear where to start again and you swiftly turned back to worship his leg. Kisses and nuzzles and little looks to him earned you a pleased smile.

“Is this good Sir” you asked, hoping for some praise. Your thighs and pussy were drenched now, almost leaking onto the floor. You weren’t sure how long you could last until you needed to touch yourself down there or have Sebastian touch you. Sooner or later, you were going to have to start begging.

“Yes, for once you’re actually doing as your told and not being a fuck up” he said which sent your pussy pulsing. Why was being told you were a fuck up so fucking hot.

“Thank you, Sir,” you whispered, nuzzling his thigh in hopes you could move on to his cock. Sebastian leant forward, his hand grasping your jaw again and lifting your head. He leant down slowly, lips puckering, and he kissed you hard but tenderly, tongue forcing its way inside and dancing with yours, teeth grazing your lip and biting hard, yanking them out and grinning against your mouth. You moaned into his mouth, grasping onto his knees for support, silently begging for more by leaning in closer. He tasted amazing and his kiss sent you on a high like no drug could.

“You’re going to be my good girl, aren’t you?” he whispered, and you nodded.

“Yes Sir” you murmured back, pupils dilated, and lips swollen from the kiss.

“And let me do all the nasty things I want to do to you” he grinned, and you nodded, your forehead pressed against his. His beard scratched your cheeks, both pleasurable and itchy. His cologne really dripped from his neck, taking you on another high and you melted into his touch, his body pulling you in.

“Yes Sir, oh please” you whined like a helpless girl.

“Please what?” he teased; his bright blue eyes locked with yours.

“Please touch me” you wanted his hand on your pussy so bad and he chuckled.

“You want me to touch you… I thought tonight was about me?” he questioned, eyebrows furrowing and eyes narrowing.

“It is” you quickly said, and he hummed.

“Then I decide when I touch you, don’t it” his voice boomed, and you nodded. Once again you were too quick, too needy, forgetting about his wants and needs.

“Yes Sir” you answered, and he hummed in delight.

“Good, I want to have some more fun, turn around” he ordered, giving your body a slap, and ordering you to turn around. You swiftly turned, falling in between his thighs, and resting your back on the chair. His hand trailed over your body, squeezing, and touching your tits, your curves and edges, his long fingers gripping anywhere he could. His hand rested on your neck, slowly gripping it and he trailed the cane along your chest, slowly starting to tap it up and down, your skin beginning to burn and sting with every tap.

“You think you can just decide when you want to be touch, when you want to be pleased. You think this is all about you, don’t you?” he teased. Your body was heating up, from both the cane and Sebastian teasing and degrading you. You gasped and flinched with every tap as they hardened, turning into hits, and leaving red marks like stripes on your skin. You squirmed under his hand, trying to hold yourself down for the pain but your body was becoming sensitive. Yet your pussy was still wet and dripping and this pain was turning it on even more.

The cane struck you hard, slapping you in the silence of the room, echoing off the walls and your screams followed, whimpers and squirms joining in. Sebastian held you down with nothing but his hand, having complete control over you as he enjoyed watching you wiggle whilst he left deep red marks along your body. A greedy smirk rested on his face, pleasure in his eyes as he caned you like a naughty schoolgirl. With one final smack, he ran his hand over your sweaty body, the marks tender and fresh and you flinched as he trailed over them, tears almost running down your red cheeks.

“What do you say?” he whispered.

“Thank you, Sir,” you looked up at him, head still in his hand and he grinned, leaning down to place a kiss on your lips.

“Good girl, now I think it’s time to suck my cock” he teased.

You were bound on the bed, laid on your front with your wrists tied to each corner of the bed, your ankles the same. You pulled on the ropes pulling you into a spread eagle, completely bound and at his mercy. Sebastian stood at the other side of the bed, smirking as he watched you struggle, completely naked now and his suit disregarded on the floor into a pile of darkness. A flogger hung loosely from his hand, swinging as he padded over to you, teasing you as he walked with power. You bit your bottom lip in a hungry sexy manner as he stood in front of you, cock directly in your eyeline. He took it in his hand, rubbing slowly up and down, his length growing as it hardened and you looked up with curiosity and wonder in your eyes.

“You ready for my cock” he teased, slowly tapping the tip on your lips and you hummed in delight.

“Yes Sir” you whispered, and he took a deep breath, slowly pressing his cock inside your mouth. You took it all in, your gag reflex threatening to gag as he reached the back of your throat, but you took a deep breath, holding it back. His cock was so big inside you. Your lips wrapped around him member, slowly sucking as he pulled it back out and then shoved it back in. It pressed your tongue down, filling you up. Sucking noises erupted as you began to suck hard, spit dripping down your chin, head moving back and forth as you blew him. Sebastian moaned softly, flinging back the flogger, and smacking it on your back, both surprising you and turning you on. You pussy was aching for attention, dripping onto the soft bed sheets underneath you, thighs coated in your juice.

His cock was turning harder with every blow, lips tightly formed around it like sucking on an ice lolly. The position you were tied in was a little awkward and you had to pull yourself up more to get a good rhythm on his cock, yanking on the ropes pulling you apart. The flogger came down again, smacking your skin and you jumped at the thuddy sensation. It was different to the cane which was more of a sting. This felt like being punched almost, the thuds hard and leaving your body tingling. Sebastian rolled his head back, moaning in pleasure at your blow job. His other hand reached for your hair, gathering it tightly to get more control and he guided you faster, noises and spit flying all over the place.

“That’s it, don’t fucking stop, your mouth feels so good” he groaned, body turning shiny with sweat as it ran down his temples and over his chest. You felt his cock twitch inside you, clearly nearing an orgasm and you pushed yourself further on his cock, the tip hitting the back of your throat and almost sending you into a gag.

“Ahh yes” he gritted through his teeth, holding his cock inside your mouth, balls slapping your chin for a few seconds before pulling out and letting you breathe. Your eyes were watering, tearing up and spit covered your face. He shoved his cock back inside, fucking your mouth whilst attacking you with the flogger. Your hands gripped the rope tightly, yanking every time he hit you.

“That’s a good girl” he murmured, head rolling back as he moaned. When he pulled out, you gasped for air.

“Give it a kiss” he ordered, holding his cock for you. You leaned and pressed a kiss to the tip, sucking on it and tasting the salty precum leaking. You hummed in pleasure, looking up with doll eyes and he grinned, giving your face a tender stroke.

“Do you want to get fucked now?” he asked, and you nodded.

“Yes Sir, please will you fuck me” you begged, a whine in the back of your throat.

“Since you were such a good girl, I think you deserve it” he swiped his hand under your jaw, padding to the bed and climbing on top. He knelt behind you, spreading your ass with his hands to open your pussy up, your gaping hole staring at him in the face, wet and ready to be used.

“Look at this dripping pussy, you just love being smacked and used like a whore don’t you” he teased, and you moaned, feeling his finger tease you as he rubbed it through your fold, thumb hooking under to press on your clit.

“Oh yes Sir, please” you whined, and he chuckled softly.

“You are so desperate for me aren’t you” he hooked his hands under your waist, yanking you so you were bent slightly, ass in the air for him to get inside. He positioned himself close to your pussy, the tip of his cock just touching.

“Yes Sir… please may I have your cock” you couldn’t wait any longer and the moment he entered you, you hit cloud nine, instantly finding that pleasure that had been denied from the beginning. He fucked you hard, slapping into you, balls crashing against the upper part of your pussy, cock fully emerged deep inside you, juice dripping over his hard member. The moans kept on coming, the bed creaking as he slammed into you. Your pussy was tingling now, desperate for an orgasm, only taking a minute or so to reach your nearing climax. All the teasing and denial had been pent up and made it so easy to reach. Your toes curled into the sheets, legs tingling with a numbness and face buried into the bed.

“Oh, please Sir, please can I come?” you begged, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you lost yourself in the pleasure.

“Not yet” he said simply and quickly, and you bit you lip to hold back on coming. The last thing you wanted was to ruin everything by coming without his permission. His hands gripped your waist tightly, spanking your ass now and then to keep you awake and in the zone, fingers digging in and leaving marks. You loved wearing his mark, showing your battle scars, showing who you belonged to. A sign of ownership.

“Please Sir may I come?” you pleaded again, praying he would allow you to come. You weren’t sure if you were going to be able to hold it back any longer. His cock was twitching inside you, his breaths deepening and turning heavy. He too was reaching his climax.

“You want to come?” he teased.

“Yes, yes please” you breathed, gripping the sheets tightly in your fists, knuckles bare white and nails digging in. Sebastian groaned loudly, heavy breaths as he reached his orgasm, spilling inside you, gripping your body tightly.

“Yes, you can come” he granted your wish, allowing you to unleash your climax and you did. Your pussy clenched around his cock, spilling over and juices leaking. You moaned heavily into the sheets, heavy breaths, and tired eyes. He slowed his pace down, coming to a stop and as he pulled out, he rubbed a hand across your pussy, making you flinch as it was super sensitive. He hummed in delight, letting you drop into the bed, and he climbed on top of you. Your hair was wet and stuck to your face, clouding your vision and he gently tucked it back with a finger. He leaned down to press a tender kiss to your cheek, lifting your head up to kiss your lips sweetly.

“What do you say?” he whispered.

“Thank you, Sir,” you smiled tiredly, and he grinned, kissing you once again.

“Good girl”

Hey so I hope you like it, let me know what you think in the comments and don’t forget to check out my other works, I'll link my master list down below :)

Masterlist 

@pattiemac1​ @sebastiansluts​

[moossings]

drawn in

the f1 mafia au that no one asked for and won't leave my brain at all. mainly charlos, but featuring most of the grid and ex drivers. i've been worldbuilding with @5ainz (bless for bearing with me) and in between drawings and character sheets, i ventured to write this tiny snippet to hype myself (and be less scared of writing). if you read this, thank you and enjoy! ✨

-

“You shouldn't be here.”

Carlos’ eyes don’t move from the painting. The Death of the Virgin, by Caravaggio. He smiles to himself, shaking his head. He wouldn’t expect less from the Rosso Corsa, always proud and ready to show off their legacy. Come to think about it, everything in his life was linked to red somehow. And at the same time, inevitably, to the wounds it left.

“Are you going to kick me out, altezza reale? Like a bad behaved dog?” He does turn his head then. His tone is supposed to be mocking, but the moment brown eyes meet green, his resolution falters.

Charles Leclerc, composed as ever, stands on the door, as if he had just closed it. Carlos swears he hears the lock turn as well, but his mind is rather busy tracking every single hair out of place, from the top of his head to the strands scattering on his forehead. His gun feels heavy where it rests in its holster under his jacket.

“And aren’t you the most loyal one? Fernando must be proud.” Charles leaves the door to stand next to Carlos, shoulders almost brushing but not close enough. It’s their thing, throw knives and dodge, push and pull. The Inspector’s little prince and the right hand of the Spanish Samurai.

The silence between them is not awkward, but it feels tense in the same way the air is charged right before a storm. They look at the painting, but the details they recollect are not the brushstrokes or perspective of the piece. It’s the subtle hints of cologne coming off Charles’ skin when he tilts his head, following the lines of the old wood on the frame instead of the ones of Carlos’ perfectly tailored suit. It’s the flex on Carlos’ clenched fists as his mind repeats over and over how very not good it would be to reach and find out how Charles’ hands feel with their fingers laced.

“Did you know,” Carlos says, his voice almost a whisper. “This painting was rejected by the patron who commissioned it. No one had ever painted the actual death of the Virgin, it was a dogma, and Caravaggio depicted her as mortal: pale, bloated and devoid of spirit.” He sighs and looks sideways at Charles, from under his lashes. “It is also said that Caravggio painted her after a prostitute, so maybe that was the real reason.”

Charles tries to school his features, to stop the smile from being evident, but those sweet dimples betray him. Time to stop pretending, it seems. “I didn’t know you were interested in art.” He turns to face Carlos fully, carefully studying the strong features he usually only catches in glimpses. He is setting the ground for truce, building the bridge.

Carlos chuckles, and it sounds tired. “Really? Don’t tell me Sebastian didn’t include it in my file. He used to be more thorough with his research, he is starting to slip.” But he still faces Charles, willing to meet him halfway. “There is a lot more that you couldn’t possibly know.”

“What if I wanted to find out? What would it take?” Charles takes a step forward. Carlos lets him.

“Stupidity. Recklessness. Naivety.” He counts with his fingers, brows furrowed but playful smirk. Charles can’t really tell which one he actually means. “Trust.”

“That sounds like a challenge, Sainz.” And Charles has never backed up from one. Today is not the day he’ll start.

He extends his hand and, in seconds, a warm bigger one takes it in a firm but soft grip.

“It’s Carlos.” A smirk draws up the corners of his full lips. “You are in for a ride, cariño.”

[sillystardew]

Bachelors and lending clothes

As the title says, different head canons about bachelors lending you their clothes!

Requests are open!

Gender neutral reader 🦇

Shane

-100% willing to lend you his shirts to wear as pajamas, even if he thinks you’re a little weird for wanting that (he secretly loves it)

-loves it when you borrow his jackets and hoodies, especially if you’re smaller than him by any margin. seeing you drowning in the fabric just warms his little heart

-don't even get me started on HIM borrowing clothes. 

-he loves being able to smell like you, whether it be his clothes you gave back or clothes that he borrowed from you

-would definitely be a little embarrassed for you if you wore his blue jacket in public - why in the world would you want people to see you wearing it?? It’s covered in holes and stains?? But he also likes knowing you aren’t afraid to show people how much you love him

Harvey

-ohhhh this man.

-he really isn't used to anyone being this cheesy or romantic with him

-he blushes like crazy if you ask, and is even worse if he finds that you did it without asking. His wee heart can't take it

-honestly a little surprised that you would even WANT to borrow his clothes

-he’s tall and pretty thin, so unless you’re 6ft-ish, his clothes are going to be wayyy too long on you

-he thinks it’s adorable when you try to do tasks while pulling the sleeves up

-he’d love to sleep in one of your t-shirts, going to sleep knowing you trust and love him like this

-He definitely bundles you up in the winter. If you didn't own any scarves or gloves before, YOU DO NOW

Sebastian

-loves seeing you wear his various band tees

-He’s a bit on the smaller side, so it's possible his clothes are too small. Though lots of his clothes are baggy

-he will 100% be stealing ALL of your hoodies and sweaters. You’re not getting any of them back

-his clothes are very heavily scented with cologne. He doesn't want you to get grossed out by the smell of cigarettes, so he always washes or sprays down his clothes before giving them to you

-might get a little annoyed if you work in his clothes, he doesn't like them getting dirty

Elliott

-is probably the one to offer

-would love to see you in one of his button-ups

-again, like Harvey, he is TALL. Lots of his clothes won't fit you properly

-will wear it after you’ve borrowed it to be able to smell you on his clothes

-not really the type to borrow clothes imo. He would love to get matching pjs with you though

-do a little fashion show for him. I promise he will be blushing like craaazy 

Alex

-TOTALLY into letting you borrow clothes, especially his jerseys (AFTER WASHING.)

-also not really the type to borrow clothes, but he’ll definitely say yes if you offer

-just make sure you tell him not to work out in your clothes because he will forget

-he's cool with you working in his clothes, and even finds it cute. You can both wear his clothes and work out together! As long as you return them with minimal dirt, he doesn't care

Sam

-would love if you wore a t-shirt from his band

-definitely the type to go “lol what if we swapped shirts” and just tear it off on the spot to switch with you

-he actually doesn't have too many non-winter jackets or zip-ups. He has one leather jacket (Seb has a matching one, they got them when they were teens) but it's a little small on him. If it fits you he would love to see you in it

-he will definitely forget or not notice if you take a shirt for a long time, and gets all blushy if he realizes you're wearing it

[boundinparchment]

Almost kiss & The Missus and the Ex + Karina and Zhongli for the fanfiction trope mash-up >:3

She didn't like placating anyone, especially the man she was dancing with. The general was not a man to spurn. But she came all this way to return home and Rhiannon was Lady Furina's guest tonight; if Karina made a scene, she'd earn even more ire from the Fatui and the Hydro Archon.

"I never expected you to return," Sebastian drawled. "Fontaine lost a good soldier the day you left."

"Your bed was cold, you mean," Karina replied.

His cologne made her head swim and not in a pleasant way. A lot of scents did that lately. Expected, of course, but that didn’t make it any more bearable.

"That, too. Will it continue to be?"

"I'm married, sir. Why would you even ask?"

"I highly doubt your husband knows just how to make you squirm, 'Rina."

He was too close, his breath on her lips, invading her nostrils. He'd drank too much wine tonight. She turned her head just enough to be considered polite, fighting the urge to vomit from the scent of lingering alcohol.

Sebastian was not above disgracing himself by laying his mouth on another person’s spouse; she had zero intention of being reminded of how his tongue invaded her mouth years ago.

Karina released her held breath when a familiar voice, steady as the earth, shattered the moment.

"Excuse me, monsieur. Might I finish the dance with my wife?”

Zhongli’s expression remained genial, even passed for kind, but she knew the glint in his eyes well enough. He’d heard the conversation, no doubt; Sebastian’s hand tightened around hers but he trembled slightly, betraying his tight grin as he dropped her arm.

“She’s all yours, consultant. Shame, you used to be so much fun, ‘Rina.”

“Wonderful to see you again, General,” Karina curtsied, her smile thin.

She melted as soon as Zhongli’s hand held hers and he pulled her close, picking up on the rhythm with ease. Her husband leaned over and pressed a kiss to her forehead, no doubt scanning the room all the while. While he was no longer an Archon, some habits would never quite die.

“He appears to act more akin to a child than a leader,” Zhongli murmured. “One with confidence in their skills and respect for their position would not be so brazen with their attempts to unsettle another.”

“He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, Li, he takes what he wants and uses his title for posturing. Allogenes are a threat to him. He’d benefit from a lifetime in the Fortress, if only to gain a new perspective…”

Karina settled into his shoulder as the tempo slowed, her cheek against the soft satin of his jacket. He was warm and inviting, not unlike the sun on a spring day in the middle of a field of flowers. For a moment, the hand against her lower back slipped between them and she felt a tiny flutter.

“Being around him made me feel positively ill. Can we sneak away?” she whispered.

“There’s a quiet garden nearby that I think you’ll enjoy, bǎo bèi. Shall we?”

[danielfuckingricciardo]

Rise Like A Phoenix - Chapter Ten

Pairing - Jenson Button x Reader + Charles Leclerc x Reader + Daniel Ricciardo x Reader

Word Count - 3632

Content Warning - Swearing, extreme violence, guns, description of blood

Synopsis - When a German agent goes missing investigating a diplomat’s disappearance, you are asked to take the case as your old adversary is revealed to be the one to blame. However, you soon find out that you will not be working alone, and will have to complete your mission with the help of agent Charles Leclerc.

Author’s Note - And here we go! The plan begins! I don’t want to give too much away so I’ll shut up and let you get straight to reading! Enjoy!

Chapter Ten - Let’s Kick Some Fucking Ass

“Alright, are we fucking ready?” Daniel asks, adjusting the collar of his shirt in the mirror, undoing the top two buttons of the garishly-coloured garment to expose the top of his tanned chest.

“Suited and booted.” You respond, taking a seat on the side of the bed to slide your pistol into the holster on your belt.

“Charles, you good?” Daniel calls into the bathroom, and Charles emerges in his neatly pressed black suit, spraying himself liberally with some fancy cologne.

“Do I look the part?” Charles asks, holding out his arms and turning around so that you could examine his outfit choice.

The suit was extremely well fitting, and most probably custom made to fit his form exactly. The white shirt he wore was unbuttoned at the very top, exposing his neck and the chain that hung around it. The material clung to his toned chest, emphasising his pecs and abs as the buttons strained to hold the garment closed over his torso. His black suit jacket hung open, the sleeves just barely exposing his intricate watch. The bottom seam of the jacket perfectly aligned with the waistband of his black suit pants which hugged his narrow waist. The suit pants tapered down, cutting off just above his formal black brogues. He most definitely looked the part.

Daniel wolf whistles at him and Charles chuckles, “you’re too kind, please.”

“Damn Charles, if you wanna recreate what we did last night once Fortescue’s on the slab, you better leave that fucking shirt on. Hot damn.” You say, and Charles blushes.

“Hey, what about me? Am I invited?” Daniel asks, throwing himself down on the bed behind you.

“It depends, will you be wearing that horrible shirt?” You ask, a smile on your face.

“Hey, this is my favourite shirt!” Daniel says, feigning being hurt by your comment as he jabs you in the side.

“You spend a few weeks around the mafia and start dressing like them, huh?” You tease.

“Oh fuck off, Lara Croft.” He says, and you roll your eyes.

“I’ll have you know this is the most practical outfit for doing actually cool spy shit.” You say, gesturing at your black tank top, stab vest and matching black combat trousers.

“Whatever, nerd. Go raid a fucking tomb or whatever.” Daniel chuckles, his legs raising slightly off the bed in his laughter.

“Charles, could you help me with the pin again? I can’t get the fucking thing to stay in my hair.” You groan, and Charles walks over to you, taking the pin from your hands and carefully embedding it in your low bun.

“Do you have your earpieces in? George will be expecting us to check in before we go.” Charles says, and you nod, and Daniel hums in response.

“Hey George, we should be online now?” You say, and you hear a brief moment of static.

“Yep, all good to go on my end. While you might not be able to communicate with one another while undercover, I can track you via the earpieces, talk to you, and hear everything you or anyone else says. Good luck guys, Jenson, Sebastian and Mark wish you all the best.” George says.

“Thanks George, I’ll keep you updated on my progress in finding the agents.” You say.

“Well, it’s now or never. Shall we?” Daniel asks, and you and Charles both nod in response.

———

As Charles and Daniel enter the vast apartment block together via the front entrance, you make your way to the underground car park beneath the building.

“Okay George, I think the coast is clear, I’m going in.” You say, resting your hand on your pistol as you turn the corner to see the car park is completely deserted.

“I would have thought it would be busier in here.” You say, taking a few tentative steps over to a heavy concrete door in the corner of the facility.

You push the handle of the door, and it creaks open, revealing a dark empty corridor lined with eight identical concrete doors.

“There’s no one down here, they must all be upstairs enjoying Fortescue’s party.” You say to George, but he does not respond.

Heavy footsteps behind you urge you to pull your pistol and turn around, only to be met with a hit to the side of the head. You collapse to the ground, urging your eyes to remain open as they grab your limp body and begin to drag you down the corridor.

The last thing you hear is the creak of a door before your vision fades to black.

———

Daniel and Charles stride through the lobby of the apartment building, occasionally stopping for Daniel to say a brief hello to staff he recognised from his regular visits to Fortescue’s apartment. He calls the elevator and the two of them step inside.

“As soon as we enter, I’ll get you talking to Fortescue. Hit him with the business proposition, and we go up to the roof to talk it out away from all the other guests. You pull the trigger and (y/n) comes running. Easy peasy.” Daniel says, offering Charles a reassuring smile.

“Sure, easy peasy.” Charles repeats, attempting to remain cool despite his fidgeting hands giving away his obvious anxieties.

The elevator dings, and the doors begin to open. Daniel pats Charles on the back before striding out towards the pristine white door of Fortescue’s apartment, twisting the handle, and wandering in.

“Eddie! How are you mate?” Daniel says, embracing Fortescue in a manly hug.

“All the better for seeing you, my dear boy. And I see you haven’t come alone?” Fortescue says, and Daniel turns to gesture Charles to take a few steps closer.

“Yeah, I bumped into Charlie boy in the lobby. He said he was here for the party but looked a little lost. Lucky for him, I know this place like the back of my hand, eh?” Daniel says, giving Charles a pat on the back.

“Ah, yes, the young visionary we encountered last night at the casino. I look at this boy and I see my younger self, only he is far more handsome than I ever was.” Fortescue says, laughing a deep throaty laugh as he holds his hand out for Charles to shake.

Charles takes his hand and shakes it firmly, attempting to hide his anxiety with a quick smile and a chuckle.

“You flatter me, sir.” Charles says, and Fortescue gives him a sly smile.

“Please, I told you last night, call me Edmund, I insist.” Fortescue says.

“So, Eddie, where’s everyone else? Francisco promised me he’d empty my wallet over the poker table.” Daniel says, and Fortescue erupts into laughter.

“Ah, well, you must just be early. Either that or, I’m afraid, the game is over.” Fortescue says, and Polina and two giant men dressed in black, emerge from the adjoining room.

“You think we’re stupid?” Fortescue says, and Daniel immediately begins to back up towards the door, pulling Charles along with him.

The door swings open, and two more henchmen appear behind them.

“Hey Eddie, what’s going on mate?” Daniel says, laughing awkwardly.

“Hm, let me see. Daniel Joseph Ricciardo, born in Perth, Australia on July 1st 1989. Began his career in the Australian army, receiving several special commendations before his promotion to Special Forces in 2011. In 2016, he received an honourable discharge and promptly disappeared from all records. It took my dear Polina a while to hack into government databases to find this information, but would you like to know what else she found? Tucked away behind firewall after firewall? She found that from 2016 onwards he worked as a field agent for the Australian Secret Intelligence Service. Does any of that ring a bell?” Fortescue says, and Daniel’s smile fades.

“Tie him up, and if he resists, kill him. It’s not as if he’s a stranger to the sting of a bullet. Mark Webber really stitched you up that day, hm?” Fortescue says, and Daniel holds up his hands.

“Okay, okay, fine, I’ll play nice. As long as you play nice too. Charles here doesn’t need to see this.” Daniel says, as the two men behind him grab him firmly, grasping at his wrists to force them together and secure them with thick brown rope.

“I think you’re wrong there, Daniel. It’s important for a boy to learn how dangerous it is to get on the wrong side of me, don’t you think?” Fortescue says, gesturing at Polina to walk over to Charles.

She rests her hand on his shoulder, taking in the scent of his cologne, running her red-polished nails across his jawline.

“Polina, why don’t you take Mr. Leclerc to the lounge, and show him the gift you bought for him?” Fortescue says, and she nods, grabbing Charles’ hand and pulling him with her towards another door.

The room is dark, illuminated only by the lights of the city beyond the windows. The door slams shut behind the two of them, and Polina flips a switch, revealing the dramatic centrepiece of the room - A shining black grand piano.

“Do you still play, Mr. Leclerc?” Polina asks, her thick Russian accent evident in every syllable.

“Who says I play?” Charles responds, fidgeting with the sleeves of his jacket.

“I know you play. I saw you perform. Oh, it must have been two years since that day, but the memory is still fresh in my mind. They say that once you learn how to play, you never lose it.” Polina says, wrapping her arms around Charles’ neck.

“I haven’t touched a piano since that day.” Charles says, attempting to walk away from her grasp, but eventually realising he is trapped between her and the cold wall that pressed against his back.

“My father meant everything to me. He was my idol, my inspiration. That day you took from me something so dear. Did you really think that I would forget you so easily? That I wouldn’t recognise the man who orchestrated my father’s death?” Polina says.

“Then why pretend last night? Why not just shoot me in the casino there and then and get your justice?” Charles asks, and Polina chuckles.

“Ah, you see, now there’s a question. As much as I wanted to bury a bullet in your skull the moment you took your seat beside my beloved Edmund, I knew it wasn’t right. You see, Edmund and I both have our own great enemies; you are mine, and (y/n) (y/l/n) is his. We want to see the two of you both suffer, and shooting you would simply be too kind. While my talents lay in hacking, Edmund has great experience in torture, as I’m sure (y/n) will have told you. That is to be your fate, Mr. Leclerc. I want to see you suffer until your little heart gives out.” Polina says, before pressing a kiss to Charles’ jawline.

“(Y/n)! (Y/n)! It’s a trap! Get out! George? Are you there?” Charles shouts, but no one responds.

“Your technology won’t work in here, Mr. Leclerc. The entire building is shielded from the transmission of radio waves. You’re on your own, and no one is coming to save you.” Polina says.

Charles attempts to run for the door, gripping the handle and twisting it in desperation. The door opens, and Charles sprints towards Daniel who is bound at both his hands and feet.

“Charles look out!” Daniel shouts, and Charles snaps his head towards Polina, a pistol in her hand.

She pulls the trigger, and Charles collapses to the floor.

———

You squeeze your eyes together as you register the throbbing pain in the side of your head.

“What the fuck?” You slur, blinking rapidly to acclimatise to the bright light of the room your found yourself in.

You scan your concrete cell, your vision still blurred, and settle your eyes upon three bodies across the room. Each man was bound at both his hands and feet.

“She’s awake! Are you okay?” One of the men says, and you grunt in response, attempting to stretch your limbs but quickly realising that you too had been bound.

“I’ve had worse nights.” You say, eliciting a chuckle from one of the other men.

“Who are you?” The man in the centre says, and you adjust your position to face him.

“(Y/n) (y/l/n), MI6,” you say, “and you guys?”

“Mick Schumacher, Federal Intelligence Service.” He responds, and you nod.

“Carlos Sainz, Centro Nacional de Inteligencia.” The man to Mick’s left says

“Pierre Gasly, DRSD.” The man on the right says.

“Well, I was supposed to be getting you all the fuck out of here, but I don’t know what happened? George, George, you there?” You say, but you receive no response.

“They can’t hear you, there must be some kind of signal blocker covering the building.” Mick says, and you nod.

“So we’re on our own? Great. Is this room guarded, and can they hear us?” You ask.

“No, this place is soundproof. There’s one regular guard outside, but he only enters three times a day to give us food and water, and to throw in whoever else gets caught by Fortescue.” Mick says.

“Well then boys, time to plan our escape. Who’s good with knots?” You ask, a wicked smile on your face.

“I’ve untied these things at least four times, they’re really shit at tying knots.” Pierre says, fiddling with his hands behind his back for a few moments before flashing his free hands at you.

“Nice one, Houdini, do me next.” You say, and Pierre crawls over over to you.

“We should escape first, and I can do you later, yes?” He says, a smirk playing on his lips.

You roll your eyes, eliciting a chuckle from the other men as Pierre frees you from your bindings. As Pierre works on freeing Carlos, you do the same for Mick, sliding your hands in behind him and fiddling with the frayed brown rope.

“Fortescue planned this, he knew you’d be here, he mentioned you by name when he captured me. But is he here too? Charles Leclerc?” Mick says, and your hands come to a stop.

“He knows about Charles? How?” You say, a look of worry spreading across your face.

“I don’t know, but he said to me, just before I passed out and he threw me in here, that he needed me to attract the two of you.”

“That means Charles and Daniel are both in danger up there. They’re in his apartment right now. Fuck escaping, we need to save them.” You say, finishing untying Mick and standing up, dusting off your hands.

“I’m with you, (y/n). I came here to stop Fortescue and Sukharnikova no matter what, and while I can’t speak for these guys, I’m not leaving without seeing them dead.” Mick says, and you nod, offering him your hand to pull him up off of the ground.

“I’m in too.” Carlos says.

“And me.” Pierre adds.

“Excellent. Let’s kick some fucking ass.” You say.

———

Daniel can’t do anything but watch as blood pours from the wound in Charles’ shin. The younger man had pulled himself into the foetal position on the floor, his breathing shallow as he attempts to cope with the pain.

“Eddie, please, be reasonable, he hasn’t done anything wrong. If you want to hurt anyone, hurt me.” Daniel says, and Fortescue chuckles.

“You’re kidding right? My goodness Daniel, you really are even more stupid than you look. That pathetic man bleeding out on the floor before you robbed my beloved Polina of her father. He deserves to suffer.” Fortescue says, and Daniel’s eyes go wide.

“Charles killed Evgeniy Sukharnikov?” Daniel questions.

“He may not have been the one to pull the trigger, but it was due to Charles’ actions that Polina’s father was caught. He was responsible, and he will pay, rotting away in a cell in the basement along with all those other stupid agents who dared to threaten me.” Fortescue says.

“There’s just one thing I don’t understand. Why didn’t you send me down there as soon as you realised who I was?” Daniel asks.

“I needed you, because (y/n) trusted you. She doesn’t trust many people, I made sure of that, but for some reason she placed her faith in you. And it appears that faith will be her downfall, as right now, she is in that cell with all those other failed agents, screaming for help with no one to save her. You will join her soon too, and so will poor little Charles, as long as he doesn’t bleed out before then, that is.” Fortescue says with a laugh.

“You sick fucker! Leave her alone! Hasn’t she suffered enough at your hand?” Daniel yells, and Fortescue kneels down before Daniel, so his face is just centimetres away.

“She is mine to do with as I like. As are you, and Charles, and poor little agent Schumacher. No doubt Daddy Sebastian is sick with worry at the loss of his special little guy.” Fortescue says, and Daniel responds by spitting in his face.

Fortescue wipes the saliva from his cheek, and strikes Daniel with his ring-clad hand, splitting open his lip as the gold jewellery makes contact with the soft flesh.

“Polina, keep your eye on them would you? I need a stiff drink after all this excitement.” Fortescue says, before exiting the room.

———

“(Y/n)? Daniel? Charles? If you can hear me say anything, please.” George says, his voice shaking.

“Agents, report, now.” Jenson says, but he receives no response.

“Fuck, there’s nothing wrong with the comms, they’re working as normal, but there must be something blocking the signal within the building itself. They’re completely on their own.” George says, resting his head in his hands.

“If they can’t communicate then the plan is as good as fucked, mate.” Mark says, and Sebastian nods in agreement.

“I trust (y/n), she knows what she’s doing. With any luck she’ll have already caught on and started coming up with plans B through Z by now.” Jenson says, nibbling the side of his nail slightly.

“But what if she hasn’t? We might have lost a further three agents to Fortescue and Sukharnikova.” Sebastian says, and Jenson sighs.

“We couldn’t have known, sir.” George says, and Jenson shakes his head.

“We should have prepared for this, developed some kind of backup comms system or something. I am not letting him take her again. I can’t- I won’t let this happen. I promised her.” Jenson says, his eyes beginning to water as he paces up and down.

“We really have no other option do we? Plan B?” Mark says, and Jenson nods.

“Okay then, let’s put plan B into motion.” Sebastian says.

———

“Are you sure that thing is going to work?” Pierre asks, and you nod.

“My tech guy made it for me, apparently it moulds itself to any keyhole you insert it into. Pretty cool, right?” You say, flipping the ornate hairpin over in your hands.

“If you’re right and there is only one guard out there, he should be easy to take out without too much commotion. Then we just need to find our way up to Fortescue’s apartment.” You say, and the boys nod.

You push the hairpin into the lock and twist it, hearing a silent click from the lock. You push the handle and the door creaks open.

‘What the-“ The guard begins, before being knocked out by a direct punch to the face from Carlos. The guard collapses to the ground with a clunk and you check both sides of the corridor before ushering the rest of the guys out of the cell and into the basement.

“That was surprisingly easy. Now how do we get up to Fortescue?” You ask, and Mick’s eyes light up.

“There’s a service elevator in the parking lot. The only problem is, you need Fortescue’s own passcode to call the lift to his floor.” Mick says, and you pump your fist in celebration.

“Luckily, I have just the gadget for that.” You say, and you and your fellow agents head across the car park towards the grey concrete elevator.

“Laser watch?” Pierre asks, and you shake your head.

“Code cracker. Oh George Russell I could kiss you.” You say as you press your watch to the electronic keypad.

The screen flashes as the watch attempts to crack the code, finally settling on eight numbers - 14062012 - the date you and your mother had been kidnapped by Fortescue. Even without the code-cracker you would have easily been able to guess the code, he was far too predictable in his obsession with you.

The elevator doors open and you step inside, gesturing for your companions to join you.

“So, what’s the plan?” Mick asks, and a smile spreads across your face.

“Kill Fortescue, rescue the hostages, we all go down in history as heroes and then we have an orgy” You say, echoing Daniel’s earlier plan.

“I like it, ma cherie” Pierre says, offering you a flirtatious smile.

“Oh you will.” You chuckle, as the elevator doors close and you begin your ascent up towards Fortescue’s apartment.

Next Chapter

[waitimcomingtoo]

Mackie

Pairing: Tom Holland x actress!reader

Synopsis: any chance he gets, Anthony teases you and Tom about your relationship

Masterlist

Anthony Mackie was onto you.

It all started when he realized you and Tom weren’t actually dating, like he thought you were.

“Which Avenger would you sleep with if given the chance?” The journalist asked you, Brie, and Scarlett during a junket.

“Tom Holland.” You answered immediately. “Oh, did you mean the character?”

The girls laughed at your answer as you shrunk down in your seat. Everyone else answered with Thor, making your answer stick out even more.

“Wait, did they ask the guys this?” You wondered. “And follow up, did Tom say me?”

“I can ask.” The journalist chuckled and pulled out her phone. “My friend Jack is interviewing them in the other room.”

“Oh My God.” Brie groaned. “Now I want to know.”

You held your breath in anticipation as you waited for Jack to text back. Finally, the journalist felt a buzz and checked her phone.

“Tom did in fact say your character.” She laughed as she showed you the text.

“He did?” Your eyes widened. “Oh my God. That’s it. We’re having sex tonight. I’m telling him right now.”

The cast laughed at your antics as you sent Tom and quick text and shut off your phone to pay attention to the rest of the interview. You knew it was a joke, but you forgot that Tom didn’t know the context of your text. So when he checked in phone in the room where the boys were being interviewed, he was quite confused.

“I just got a text from Y/n saying “we’re having sex tonight” in all caps.” He laughed in shock. “What is going on?”

“Damn.” Anthony stated. “She texts you in advance?”

“No.” Tom blushed. “We’re not even together.”

“What are you talking about?” Anthony asked. “I thought you were?”

“We’re not.” Tom insisted. He always hated when he was reminded of the fact that you and him were just friends and he didn’t want to stay on the topic.

Anthony, on the other hand, wasn’t as inclined to let it go. He leaned back in his chair and stared at Tom, always looking for new ways to bother his younger cast mate.

“Hm.” Anthony drawled. “Interesting.”

A few months later, Tom, Anthony, and Sebastian were invited to a comic con in Chicago. They were known as one of the more chaotic pairings of cast members, so the interview consisted of constant digs at one another. And of course, Anthony took any chance he got to tease you and Tom.

“You must spend a lot of time together when filming these movies.” The journalist said to the couch. “Do you guys hang out off set too? Are there any Avenger pool parties we don’t know about?”

“Look, Toms a little asshole.” Anthony began. “Him and his little girlfriend are absolute children on set. We can’t take them anywhere.”

“His girlfriend?” The journalist asked.

“I mean Y/n.” He corrected, making the audience cheer. “They say they’re not dating but we all know.”

“We’re not.” Tom whined into his mic. “Stop saying that. People are gonna start believing you.”

“Because it’s true!” Anthony insisted. “You should see the two of them on set. They’re always touching and hugging. And I’m pretty sure I caught them in the dressing room one time. I won’t say what they were doing, but I could hear the bed creaking.”

Tom turned bright red and covered his face. He knew Anthony was just teasing, but it still embarrassed him. He collected himself and held his microphone up again, ready to dish it back to Anthony.

“You’re just mad because she likes me more.” Tom said, eliciting cheers from the audience.

“Uh uh.” Anthony shook his head. “Shes loves me. All the ladies love me.”

“Not Y/n.” Tom shook his head. “She loves me.”

“I think we can all agree Y/n loves me the best.” Sebastian cut in smugly. “It’s fairly obvious.”

“Did someone say my name?” Your voice sounded from a microphone, making everyone scream. Tom, Anthony, and Sebastian looked at each other in confusion upon hearing your voice.

“Wait, what?” Anthony laughed into his microphone as he looked around. Suddenly, your characters theme song came on the speakers as you came out from backstage.

“Hi!” You came out onto the stage waving. The crowd stood up upon your arrival and became deafening. Tom turned around, caught sight of you, and bolted out of his seat.

“Y/n?” He asked as he ran towards you. He immediately scooped you up in a hug, lifting you off the ground to spin you around.

“Hi Tommy.” You mumbled in his ear as you squeezed him back. Tom set you down but continued hugging you, kissing the side of your face multiple times. The audience went wild at this display of affection, prompting you to kiss his cheek back. You walked back to the couch hand in hand, taking a seat next to each other.

“I didn’t know you were coming.” Tom said into his mic as he picked it back up.

“I wanted it to be a surprise.” You laughed, earning more cheers. “I’m filming something in Toronto but I wouldn’t miss a convention for the world. And I wanted to see you.”

Tom pouted and pulled you into another long hug. It had been a few weeks since you’d seen him, so you pressed a long kiss to his cheek.

“Do we all get kisses or just Tom?” Anthony asked, interrupting the moment.

“I was thinking the same thing.” Sebastian spoke up.

“Seb can have one but I’m not coming near you.” You teased as you walked over to Sebastian. You bent down to kiss his cheek before sticking your tongue out at Anthony.

“You look so pretty, darling.” Tom said once you sat back down.

“Please.” You rolled your eyes. “I’m so jet lagged.”

“I don’t look nearly this beautiful when I’m jet lagged.” Tom complimented you.

“Oh, I beg to differ.” You complimented back.

“Kiss kiss kiss kiss.” Anthony chanted into his mic while pumping his fist. The crowd roared as you and Tom rolled your eyes.

“Don’t start, Anthony.” You told him. “He does this all the time.”

“So I’ve heard.” The journalist laughed. “How was your flight, Y/n?”

You settled into Tom’s side as you talked about your flight and other random things. When the attention was off you, Tom slipped his arm around you and let it rest on the back of the couch. He felt you shiver at one point and realized you were sitting right under the air conditioning.

“Are you cold?” He asked you, making the audience laugh.

“A little.” You said sheepishly. He immediately took off his jacket and draped it over your shoulders, making the crowd go wild.

“Thanks, Tommy.” You chuckled as you slipped your arms into the sleeves. They were warm from his body heat and his cologne was lingering on the collar.

“Wow.” Anthony started up again. “You guys look like a couple.”

“A couple of besties.” You said quickly, making Tom shake his head.

“Uh huh.” Anthony said sarcastically. “If you guys aren’t dating, then why are you two always touching?”

“Because we love each other.” Tom snapped playfully. “You just don’t understand because girls don’t want to touch you.”

“Damn.” Anthony laughed. “Y/n, are you gonna let your boyfriend talk to me like that?”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” You replied. “We would make a terrible couple. I still haven’t forgiven him for the stamp act and I don’t see us getting past that.”

“Baby, it wasn’t me.” Tom played along. “It was my ancestors. I’d never tax your stamps.”

“Uh Uh.” You rolled your eyes. “That’s what they all say.”

“I’m gonna move on before I break you guys up.” The journalist teased, making you and Tom roll your eyes. “You guys have been playing these characters for a while so you must know them pretty well. What is something you have in common with your character?”

“That’s easy.” Anthony answered. “We’re both a cool black dude.”

“That’s exactly what I was going to say.” Tom joked, earning some laughs.

“Easy there, wonder bread.” Anthony laughed. “Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

“What about you, Y/n?” The journalist asked. “What do you have in common with your character?”

“Something my character and I have in common is that we both fuck this man.” You smiled as you clapped Tom on the back. Everyone on the couch’s jaw dropped as the crowd became deafening. Tom looked at you incredulously as you laughed.

“I’m just kidding.” You laughed into your microphone. “Um, I don’t know. We’re both pretty passionate about what we believe in. And we both wear a lot of black.”

“What?” Sebastian laughed. “You can’t just say that. That was a total 180.”

“I’m sorry.” You whined playfully. “It was a perfect opportunity and I had to take it.”

“I am literally speechless.” Tom said into his mic before breaking down into laughter. You leaned into each other as you laughed, not caring if no one else found it funny.

“I’m sorry.” You giggled. “Can we move on? Next question, please.”

“All right. Let’s talk about this kiss between your character and Loki.” The journalist began.

“Uh oh.” Anthony stirred the pot again. “Toms not gonna like this.”

“I don’t care.” Tom shrugged, but it was obvious that he was lying. You rested your hand on his shoulder to reassure him as you turned to answer the question.

“I actually had a lot of qualms before filming that scene.” You replied.

“Qualms?”

“Yeah.” You nodded. “I’m good friends with Taylor Swift so the first time I met Hiddleston, it was as her boyfriend. So the whole thing gave me serious qualms. I felt like I was breaking girl code.”

“That’s surprising since you improvised one of the kisses.” Sebastian, also looking for drama, cut in. “I remember you were only supposed to kiss once and you went in for second.”

“Well that was after a few takes and my qualms had dispersed.” You shot back.

“You hear that?” Anthony smirked. “She had no qualms.”

“I still felt so bad but those thoughts were soon replaced by “oh my God, I’m kissing Tom Hiddleston.” My qualms didn’t stand a chance to him in that wig.” You chuckled. You felt Tom tense up under your hand so you squeezed his shoulder.

“I know.” The journalist agreed. “He’s very dreamy.”

“Exactly. We were three takes in and my pussy starts screaming, “get help! Get help!”” ,You mimicked Thor’s voice, “so I knew my qualms were gone.”

You once again had all the jaws dropped with your words. Tom buried his face in your neck as he laughed, his whole body shaking.

“That’s one way to put it.” The journalist said as he wiped tears. “I have to ask. Which Tom did you like kissing more?”

“I liked kissing Tom H the best.” You said cheekily.

“Ooo.” Anthony started again. “Are we about to witness a couples quarrel?”

“I think so.” Tom played along. He pretended to look annoyed with you so you cupped his face.

“I’m kidding.” You assured him. “It was so you.”

“It better be.” He insisted. “Remember you kissed me after we shot the swinging scene and we weren’t even filming?”

“Yeah.” You chuckled. “I was in love with you that day.”

“What happened?” The journalist wondered.

“Well, I grew up loving Spiderman.” You explained. “So spending the day swinging around in Toms arms while he was in the suit meant so much to me. The second Tom took his mask off, I just kissed him.”

“Is that when you started dating?” Sebastian asked.

“No. It is not.” Tom shoved him playfully.

The rest of the convention went by in a similar fashion, with Anthony taking every opportunity to tease you. Once you said your goodbyes to the crowd, you and Tom walked back to your dressing room with your arms around each other.

“I can’t believe Mackie still thinks we’re dating.” Tom sighed as he shut the door behind him.

“I know.” You chuckled before an idea came to you. “Wouldn’t it be funny if we actually started dating and didn’t tell him? Like, as a joke?”

“That would be hilarious.” Tom nodded too many times. “Like, I could ask you out right now and he’d have no idea. We could go on dates and make out and stuff and just not tell him. That’ll show him.”

“We should totally do that. As a joke.” You quickly followed.

“We should.” Tom nodded. “Imagine his face when he finds out we started dating and didn’t tell him? It’ll be priceless.”

“Ugh, I can’t wait.” You sighed happily. “He would lose his mind if he found out we finally started dating.”

“Did you say finally?” Tom asked with a coy smile. Your face fell when you realized you had said a little too much.

“I did.” You said softly. “Because it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while.”

“So have I. In that case,” Tom smiled shyly, “Y/n would you like to go on a d-“

“Yes.” You cut him off before he could even finish. “I would.”

2 years later

On a rare day off, you and Tom attended a barbecue in Anthony’s backyard with a few of the other cast members. You were sat on Tom’s lap, full off food and contently listening to the ongoing conversation.

“These burgers are great.” Chris said as he patted Anthony’s back. “Thanks for barbecuing.”

“I got you, man.” Anthony nodded. “I actually got the recipe for the blend from one of the caterers on set. Remember that place that catered lunch with the really good cornbread and burgers?”

“I do remember.” Scarlett smiled to herself. “The filming schedule worked out so all got to eat together that day. That was so nice.”

“It was nice.” Anthony agreed. “Just sitting in the sun in our costumes and bibs. We had some fun conversations going on. I’m pretty sure that was the day Tom and Y/n started dating.”

“No.” Tom rolled his eyes. “We started dating after that one convention. Remember the one where Y/n surprised us on stage? We started dating that night.”

“Wait, you guys are actually dating?” Anthony sat up in his seat. “I was just playing with you.”

“We know. So we played with you right back.” You shrugged smugly. “We started dating to get back at you for all the jokes.”

The rest of the cast exchanged confused looks as you and Tom relished in your victory.

“But....” Anthony blinked in confusion, “you didn’t tell me until two years later.”

“Yeah. Because we were committed to the joke.” Tom said like it was obvious.

“Duh.” You added.

“Let me get this straight.” Antony rubbed his temples. “You started dating as a way to get back at me for teasing you?”

“Yep.”

“But you didn’t tell him you started dating.” Scarlett continued.

“Nope.”

“So you’ve been dating in secret for two years without him knowing.” Don went on.

“Yep.

“But....you see this as revenge on me?” Anthony asked with a tilted head.

“Yep.” You laughed. “In your face.”

“In my face?” Anthony raised his eyebrows. “How so?”

“Because we totally got you.” You bragged. “Look at your face right now. You had no idea we were actually together.”

“What an idiot.” Tom shook his head. “This guy, am I right?”

The cast exchanged another look as you and Tom continued not to understand why dating in private didn’t exactly count as revenge against Anthony.

“Okay.” Anthony said skeptically. “So let me ask you this. Now that I know about the joke, will you stop dating?”

You and Tom quieted down as Anthony brought up something you hadn’t thought of.

“Well, no.” Tom began as he looked at you. “We like dating each other.”

“So essentially, this had nothing to do with me.” Anthony concluded. “You two just wanted to date each other but used me as an excuse.”

You and Tom opened your mouths to defend yourselves, but shut them when you realized he was right. You looked at each other sheepishly before shrinking down in your seats from embarrassment.

Anthony Mackie may have gotten the better of you.

Tag List 🏷

@awesomebooklover17 @thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling @weirdr-artiest @serendipitous-amor @dummiesshort

@foreverxholland @lavender-writer @michaela072796 @whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning @imyourliquor-youremypoison @andreasworlsboring101 @waiting-to-be-myself @letsloveimagines @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention @justcallmehitgirl @jackiehollanderr @tiny-friggin-human @mara-twins @iamaunicorn4704 @maryjanee23 @geeksareunique @emmamarshmellow @unbelievableholland @flixndchill @sovereignparker @thisisthebiplace @spideydobrik @every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @caelestii-e @eridanuswave @itscaminow @fiantomartell @solarxmoonchild @canyouevencauseicant @illwritetomorrow @thehappygrungelife @saysomethingspiderman @smilexcaptainx @quaksonhehe @kelieah @kickingn-ames @seasidecrowbar @lovelessdagger @love-sick-blues @electraheart-3174 @unbelievableholland @yourtypicalhotmess @spideyanakin @horanxholland @thesuitelifeofafangirl @marshxx @heyheycharlatte @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie @tomshufflepuff @cookiemonstermusic258

@maybemona @alexxcorona113 @lethal-wisdom @xo-spidey @big-galaxy-chaos @pandaxnienke @theincredibledeadlyviper  @thestylestour  @officialsimppage @mrvelscaptains @peterbenjiparker @itsemohours @okkulta @parkerlovebot @jungkxxkk @friendlyneighborhood-mendes @whatthefuckimbisexual @olixerwxxd @starkbrain @creatorofthegalaxy @f-hollands @ilovefrogs1000 @itstaskeen @itmatteredatthetime @wrendermeuseless @amazinggracy @iprobablyshipit91 @magicalxdaydream @whereismytelephone @theonly1outof-a-billion @leilanixx @namoreno @bi-lmg @dracoswhore007 @tomhollandloml @avengers-hamiltrash​ @sunshinepeterparkr @gh0stgurl @so-very-asleep @veryholland​ @white-wolf1940​ @spideycheles​ @firwproof​ @fanficaddict13125 @pinklxmonade​ @thebestqueenoftheworld​ @nowayhomeparker​ @willowestelle​ @imobsessedzs​ @spideyspeaches​ @bookfrog242​ @hihiweezing​ @mathletemadison​  @chipot-lol​ @mackenziejanine​ @dhtomholland​ @peterstommy​ @insomniac-nerd-posts-things​ @prancerrparkerr​ @aayaissaa​ @loudthoughts-softspoken​ @starknik22​ @hallecarey1​ @tom-holland-is-bae​

[musette22]

Burning For You

Title: Burning For You Pairing: Chris Evans x Sebastian Stan (Evanstan) Rating: Teen and up Word count: 3.1k A/N: Written for Evanstan Week day 6, a late fill for the Alternate Universe prompt. This silly piece of fluff is entirely inspired by the wonder that is the Mountain Lodge candle from the Yankee Candle Company. Yes, the one that inspired this iconic Tumblr post. The one that smells like Chris Evans. 

I was lucky enough to receive one as a gift from the wonderful @howdoyousleep3 and my life hasn't been the same since I smelled it for the first time. Thank you for introducing me to such delights baby K, ilyyy 💖 Also BIG thank you to the @evanstanweek​ team and to my beautiful beta @rainbowsandcoconut who came up with the outline for this fic when I told her my idea! Love you, boo 😘

Summary: Evanstan AU. Sebastian gets a little carried away when raving about the Mountain Lodge candle to a friend. It leads to an unexpected, fragrant encounter.

Read on AO3

“Listen, D. You’ve gotta smell this candle.” Sebastian leans in closer, nearly knocking over his - third - glass of red. “You know I’m not usually a scented candle kinda guy, but this one…” He closes his eyes and tips back his head, an expression of pure bliss on his face. “Incredible. Glorious. Magnificent.”

“You look like you’re about to pull a Meg Ryan in When Harry met Sally over there, Seb.”

Sebastian straightens, giving Deirdre a meaningful look across the table at the low-key SoHo bar they’re having drinks at. “You kid, but I’m this close. It’s that good, not even exaggerating.”

“Sure you’re not,” Deirdre huffs, lifting her glass and taking a sizeable gulp of her Cosmopolitan.

“Fine, don’t believe me,” Sebastian shrugs. “You know, I pity you for not having experienced the delights of the Mountain Lodge candle, really. If you knew what it smelled like, you’d be singing its praises too, believe me.”

Deirdre rolls her eyes good-naturedly. “Fine, I’ll bite. What does it smell like, Sebastian, pray tell.”

Sebastian sits up eagerly. “It smells…” he starts, “like an evening in that lodge in the Green Mountains we rented with the others a couple of years ago. Remember that? How it felt to relax by the fire after a long day of hiking, the scent of cedarwood and toasted marshmallows in the air?”

“Hmmm,” Deirdre agrees. “That was nice, yeah. But hardly worth busting a nut over, I’d say.”

Sebastian holds up a single finger. “I'm not done. Because this candle doesn’t just smell like the lodge, it also smells like the lumberjack living at the lodge.”

Deirdre frowns. “There was no lumberjack living at the –”

“The metaphorical lumberjack, D, god. Work with me here a little.”

“Oh right, okay. Gotcha.”

“It smells,” Sebastian continues, undeterred, “like soft, worn flannel. Like beard oil and a hint of clean sweat. It smells like a big, strong, gorgeous man who just got done hewing a ginormous tree with his massive axe and cutting it down into firewood, which he’s now using to light the very fireplace in front of which he’ll make sweet, sweet love to you, on the rug that’s actually the skin of a bear that attacked his rescue dog and which this man fought off and killed with his own bare hands.”

“Whooofffff,” Deirdre says, fanning herself with a napkin. “Fine, I’m starting to see the attraction.”

“It smells…” Sebastian goes on, pausing for dramatic effect before delivering his clincher, “like Chris Evans.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then Deirdre groans loudly, sagging back in her chair. “Ughh, shoulda known this was coming. For chrissake, Sebastian, you literally cannot go even one night without bringing up Chris Evans, can you?”

“I totally can,” Sebastian protests, like the mature, professional, Times-employed literary critic he is. “But you don’t understand, D. This candle, it’s actually like they bottled the very essence of Chris Evans and then infused a candle with it. It’s life-changing.”

“Yeah, yeah, you have a permanent boner for Chris Evans, you wanna marry him and have his little bearded babies, tell me something I don’t know,” Deirdre sighs, draining the last of her drink and immediately starting to look around for the waiter to order a new one. Distantly, Sebastian notices the song playing in the background changing to The Smith’s ‘Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want'. Ah, if only.

“Listen to me,” Sebastian insists, unconsciously starting to speak louder, like he’s some small-town preacher trying to make his ignorant clergy see the light. “Deirdre, darling, you’re one of my oldest friends. I wouldn’t lie to you. I swear, when you smell this candle, you too will feel like you’re being engulfed in the embrace of the brilliant, spectacular, totally unique smokeshow that goes by the name of Chris Evans. It’s as if the man himself is wrapping those huge, muscled arms of his around you, crushing you to his wide chest as you tuck your face into the crook of his neck while his beard brushes your temple and you inhale his masculine scent of cologne, sex and clean, honest sweat, I swear to god – D, are you even listening?”

At some point during the last part of Sebastian’s homily, Deirdre’s eyes drifted to a point over his right shoulder and got stuck there.

“Did you just- zone out?” Sebastian asks indignantly, waving a hand in front of her face. She doesn’t even blink. “Hello? Earth to Deirdre.”

“Seb,” Deirdre says, still not looking at Sebastian.

“Oh, I see,” Sebastian barrels on. “Here I am, pouring my heart out, telling you I found a candle that smells exactly like the man of my dreams and you’re just… What are you doing, actually? Are you okay?”

At this point, Deirdre’s eyes have gone comically round, mouth hanging open just a little. “Sebastian,” she repeats, more urgently now – and just as he’s turning his head to find out what put that dumbfounded look on her face, someone nearby clears their throat.

Sebastian startles, looking up at the man who’s appeared next to their table.

“Hi,” the man says in a deep, rich voice.

A deep, rich voice that Sebastian knows all too well. A deep, rich voice that belongs to none other than Chris Evans, Hollywood heartthrob and actual smokeshow, himself.

Oh.

Sebastian gapes while Chris, dressed in dark wash jeans, a red flannel shirt and a brown shearling jacket, smiles at him patiently. He’s all soft-looking beard and strong nose and bulging biceps and long, lean legs, and Sebastian has died and gone to heaven.

“I’m sorry for interrupting,” Chris says, “but was just sitting a table over and I couldn’t help but overhear.”

And from one moment to the next, Sebastian crashes forcefully back to earth. His whole body goes cold, the blood draining from his face so quickly he feels dizzy with it.

Fuck. No. No, no, no. This can’t be happening. There is no way this is actually happening.

Except it is.

Sebastian had just been extremely, loudly and publicly horny about the very guy that’s standing next to him right now. The guy who is no doubt about to give Sebastian a piece of his mind at best, and a right hook to the jaw at worst. And honestly, he’d deserve it.

Since Sebastian wouldn’t even know where to begin apologizing, he says nothing. Just keeps staring at Chris in ever-growing horror, his pulse pounding in his ears so loudly it almost drowns out the miserable sound of Morrissey still pleading in the background.

Chris clears his throat. “So,” he says, bringing up a hand to rub the back of his neck. “This candle smells like me, huh?”

Sebastian groans, hiding his face in his hands. “Shit. Fuck. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean- Oh my god, please, please, please just forget you heard any of that.”

“Why would I want to do that?”

Puzzled, Sebastian chances a glance at Chris from between his fingers. He’s partly still covering his face out of embarrassment, and partly because Chris is so gorgeous in real life that Sebastian isn’t sure he could look at him directly without spontaneously combusting. It’s like staring at the fucking sun. He doesn’t seem too angry, though, thank god. In fact, there’s an amused twinkle in his blue eyes that makes Sebastian’s shoulders relax infinitesimally.

“Because it was incredibly inappropriate?” Sebastian suggests, honestly a bit confused about having to explain this to him.

“I don’t know,” Chris shrugs. “It sounded pretty great. Kinda want to smell it for myself now.”

For some unfathomable reason – probably because unexpectedly seeing his long-time celebrity crush in the flesh broke his brain, Sebastian blurts out, “Oh, I don’t have it with me. It’s back at my apartment.”

Slowly, Chris raises a single eyebrow. The look sends a shiver straight down Sebastian’s spine, from the crown of his head right down to his toes. “Is it now?”

“Yeah,” Sebastian replies breathlessly.

Chris’s gaze drops down to Sebastian’s brown leather boots before slowly travelling back up to his face. “I gotta say, normally someone would at least have to buy me dinner first, but…” He trails off, looking Sebastian straight in the eye before finishing, “I am really curious about this candle.”

“You are?” Sebastian says dumbly, and then “Ow!” when Deirdre delivers an impressively precise kick to his shin under the table. He turns to give her a betrayed look, but when he meets her eyes, with which she’s clearly trying very hard to communicate something to him, he finally catches on. “Oh!” Sebastian whips back around to Chris, staring at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. “I- you- you mean like…” He swallows hard. “You wanna come back to my place to, uh, smell the candle?”

Although Chris’s expression remains amused, there’s a hint of trepidation there as well. “Sure,” he says, smiling crookedly. “If… that’s something you’re up for?”

Sebastian’s mind races. The way he sees it, there are two possibilities. Either Chris Evans is actually standing here in the flesh, propositioning him, or Sebastian hit his head in the bathroom earlier and is actually just lying on the dirty tile floor, hallucinating as a result of severe head trauma. The second option seems by far the most likely, but then, his shin does hurt like a sonuvabitch.

Well, fuck.

Sebastian clears his throat and sits up straighter, running a hand through his longish hair. “I mean, yeah, that’s- wow. That. That would be okay with me, uh huh. You mean like, now?”

“If that works for you?”

Without thinking, Sebastian says, “Well, I’m here with Deirdre –” before letting out another sharp yelp as said Deirdre crushes his toes under her heel. “Jesus, D!”

Deirdre ignores him. “Ohhh, would you look at the time,” she exclaims, holding up her wrist which very much doesn’t have a watch on it. “Boy, it’s much later than I thought. I really oughta get going, early start tomorrow.” She yawns theatrically, then grabs her purse and throws down two twenties on the table. “It was lovely seeing you, Sebastian, Chris… Evans,” she adds, with a wooden nod in Chris’s direction. “Hope you two have a lovely evening, bye now!”

And she’s gone.

They both stare after her for a second, and then Chris chuckles – a low sound that reverberates pleasantly in Sebastian’s chest. “Well,” Chris says, turning back towards him. “It’s nice to meet you, Sebastian.” He holds out his hand. “I’m Chris.”

Sebastian stands, taking Chris’s hand, which is warm and big and ever so slightly calloused, and exactly like Sebastian always imagined. “Yeah, I know,” he says, because he’s cool like that. And then, in a show of bravura that surprises even himself, Sebastian holds Chris’s gaze, tilts his head a fraction, and says, “So uh, my place?”

Chris smiles, casually dropping a few bills on the table, more than enough to cover their drinks, before taking a step to the side to let Sebastian pass. “Lead the way,” he says, lightly resting his hand on the small of Sebastian’s back as they make their way towards the exit.

🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥

It’s only once they’re outside and the cold February night air manages to cool down Sebastian’s overheated brain somewhat that it occurs to him to ask if Chris wasn’t at the bar with anyone.

“I met a friend for drinks but he just left,” Chris explains. “I was just waiting for the bill when I overheard you guys.”

“And you’re sure you don’t have any other plans?” Sebastian asks, because he’s nothing if not a self-sabotaging idiot.

They’re still standing outside the bar, the golden light radiating from a nearby lamppost decorated with a cluster of luminous orbs making Chris look softer, somehow. Still a Hollywood heartthrob, but also charmingly human. Unfortunately, it does absolutely nothing to make Sebastian any less infatuated. If anything, it only endears Chris to him more, which he really didn’t think was possible.

“Not really, no,” Chris replies, amusement in his tone. “I was just gonna go back to my hotel and read for a bit.”

Sebastian perks up at the mention of his area of expertise. “Oh, yeah? What’re you reading?”

“I haven’t started it yet, but it’s this history of space travel? I read a great review of it in the Times the other day, so I thought I’d give it a go.” With a self-deprecating smile, Chris adds, “I’m kind of a space nerd.”

Sebastian blinks. “Not ‘To Infinity and Beyond’, by any chance?”

“That’s the one,” Chris confirms. “You know it?”

“I wrote the review.”

Chris’s eyes go round. “You did not.”

In lieu of replying, Sebastian digs up his wallet from his pocket, takes out his Times-employee card and holds it up for Chris’s inspection.

“Huh,” Chris says, studying the card. “What are the odds.” When his eyes turn back to Sebastian’s, he suddenly breaks out into a grin, wide and boyish. “Well, I guess that explains a thing or two.”

“How do you mean?” Sebastian frowns.

“I mean, that review was brilliantly written so you clearly have a way with words.” With a sly look, Chris goes on, “which explains your colorful descriptions of that candle earlier. The masculine scent of cologne, sex and clean, honest sweat was especially vivid.”

Sebastian groans, dragging a hand down over his face. “Jesus Christ, this is so embarrassing.”

Chris eyes shine with genuine mirth as he laughs, “Hey, come on, don’t worry about it.” He takes a step closer, ducking his head to try and catch Sebastian’s eyes, which are now firmly fixed on the pavement in an attempt to conjure up a hole to swallow him. “Call me a narcissist, but I didn’t exactly hate overhearing a gorgeous guy describing me as the man of his dreams.”

“Oh god,” Sebastian mutters, feeling himself turn a fetching shade of crimson. Trying to hide his blush, he turns around abruptly and nearly walks into the lamppost.

Chris, his savior, his knight in shining armor, manages to grab him by the back of his coat just in time to avoid the imminent collision. Sebastian still stumbles, but strong, capable arms wrapping securely around his waist keep him upright.

Carefully, Sebastian turns in Chris’s embrace so they’re facing each other, though he can’t quite make himself look Chris in the eye yet. “I’m guessing you caught on to this by now,” Sebastian tells the St Christopher pendant resting on Chris’s sternum, “but I’m kind of a disaster.”

Chris just hums, lifting a hand to tilt up Sebastian’s chin with his index finger, a small smile playing on his lips. “A beautiful one, though,” he whispers into the negligible space between them, before he closes that space and presses soft, full lips to Sebastian’s own.

Sebastian can’t suppress the small sound that escapes him when their lips meet, eyes closing on instinct as he lets himself sink into the kiss. Lets Chris take charge and coax open Sebastian’s mouth by running the tip of his tongue along the seam of his lips. Sebastian doesn’t think twice about letting him in. When their tongues touch, sweet and soft and languid, he trembles, pressing closer. Chris tastes a little like beer, and while Sebastian’s never been overly fond of beer, it takes approximately two seconds of being kissed by the hottest man on the planet for it to magically turn into Sebastian’s new favorite taste. Ever.

The kiss starts off slow; a little cautious maybe, as if Chris still isn’t entirely sure it’s welcomed. But then Sebastian’s hands find their way to Chris’s waist, fingers gripping tightly, and Chris slides a hand into Sebastian’s hair, angling his head gently to the left to deepen the kiss – and suddenly, Sebastian’s entire body feels like it’s on fire. He moans, relishing the feel of Chris's soft beard scratching at his clean-shaven cheeks, and way Chris takes control of the kiss, like something right out of every embarrassing fantasy he's ever had.

When Chris hums against his lips, as if he’s enjoying this just as much as Sebastian is, Sebastian’s knees go all weak and useless. It’s a good thing that Chris is there, tightening his left arm around his waist and pulling him more securely against the hard lines of his own body – which actually doesn’t do a thing to help Sebastian’s current knee situation. He whimpers, curling his hands into the fabric of Chris’s coat to anchor himself.

When Chris finally breaks the kiss, he doesn’t go far. His breathing has deepened, warm puffs of air caressing Sebastian’s tingling, wet lips. Sebastian exhales shakily. The way his head is spinning might be partially due to the wine, but it's definitely mostly because of Chris sweeping him off his feet with his smooth, movie star ways.

Needing a moment to gain his composure before he speaks, Sebastian buries his face in the crook of Chris’s neck, taking a deep, steadying breath –

Oh.

“I fucking knew it,” he groans.

Sebastian feels rather than hears Chris’s quiet laugh; feels the vibrations of it shake his broad chest under Sebastian’s palms. “Yeah? Do I really smell like your candle?”

“Better,” Sebastian mutters. On instinct, he presses his lips against Chris’s exposed neck, eliciting a shiver from him.

“You know,” Chris rumbles into Sebastian’s ear. “I still think I need to smell this magical thing for myself. Make sure you’re not just flattering me to get into my pants, y'know?”

Christ.

“Yeah,” Sebastian nods. “Definitely, good thinking. Empirical evidence is paramount. In fact, it’s totally possible I’m just mixing things up right now because my brain’s all” – he makes a poof motion with his hands, trusting Chris will get his drift – “so I think maybe I’ll need to do some comparative research.”

Chris tilts his head in though. “Hands-on research?”

“I think that’s best, yes,” Sebastian concurs.

“Right. Well, out of the two of us, you’re definitely the higher educated one, so I’m just gonna take your word for that.” After a beat, Chris adds, “as long as I get to test a theory or two of my own.”

“Oh?” Sebastian licks his lips. “Such as?”

The wicked glint in Chris’s eyes is the only warning he gets before Chris is sliding his hand back into Sebastian’s hair and giving it a firm, experimental tug.

“Ah,” Sebastian breathes, his eyelids fluttering, the blood rushing south so fast he feels dizzy – again.

Chris grins smugly. “Such as that.”

“Okay,” Sebastian croaks. “Yeah, that seems fair.” Wasting no more time, he reaches out to grab Chris’s free hand and starts to pull him along the pavement in the direction of his apartment.

Chris, laughing as he squeezes Sebastian’s hand, follows closely behind.  

🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥

Read on AO3

[captain-barnes-writes]

Someone Like You [2/6]

Summary: In which Sebastian tries to win you back a year and a half after your relationship’s rupture, but only because there’s a new man in your life. [Part two]

(Mini-series)

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Latina

Warning: Angst (lotssss), suggestive language, 18+, future chapters will include smut (just warning y'all!) NOT PROOFREAD

Word count: 1.8k

Sebastian’s steel blue eyes hardened at the sight of you in what seemed to be a music video.  Not because of you, but because you were with another man.

 You were barely clothed in flimsy delicate lingerie with your dainty hands wrapped around another man’s neck who was laying down on a crimson red bed. The screen panned out to different scenes, you on top of him peppering kisses on his face; your hands all over him with your body pinned to the bed . Other scenes had you in a jade satin bodycon dress that reached mid thigh parading around a garden full of roses hand in hand with the jerk-off face he had come to loathe within a few seconds. Why was he so greedy? He was grabbing at you like you were a piece of meat and even going as far as kissing you with obvious desperation. He couldn’t grasp the storyline, maybe the artist meant to show a video with a couple that was in love but really it seemed he was only taking this opportunity of being with you to get his hands all over you.

“That’s a Dominican bachata singer, man!I can’t believe he got her to be in one of his videos.” Anthony exclaimed to you, his voice slightly muted so the rest of the set mates wouldn’t overhear. Though they were in their own world, having their own conversations and not paying mind to the pair who were huddled at the far end of the table.

“Well, she’s Latina…” Sebastian managed to mutter under his breath. His grip on the phone was deadly and his searing eyes were wide. God, what the fuck was going on in that video? 

Thankfully your latest movie hadn’t required you to have a sex scene with your on-screen partner, just a few heated kisses that had made him squirm on his sofa when he decided to watch it. Though even those few on-screen kisses had made him feel uncomfortable and angry that his large hands had balled into fists. Is this what you had felt when you had to see him kiss other women on screen? Or even when you knew he’d been kissing women off screen, you were there. Sure, you’d shown your anger to him countless of times and even broken down into tears in front of him but he always ended up making it up to you by fucking you. He always fucked your anger and jealousy away. Now here he was eating his own words of you’re just overreacting or it’s just acting. Because it sure as hell looked more than just acting.

A whole year and a half later and you still had that earth-shattering effect on him. Fuck, you looked more than beautiful. Everywhere he looked for the last few months, there you were looking etherial and even more gorgeous than he could remember. You were as thick as he remembered, all thighs and ass. Your dark curls had grown in length and even your skin was glowing.  He knew he’d fucked up as soon as you sent that message but his ego had prevented him from fully reaching out to you again. He’d found himself on your street many times, even going as far as walking up to your apartment complex but becoming a coward and defeatedly walking back to his car. Even while dating other women, he did this. He was a coward, he knew. He was more than that, he was an imbecile.

“Video sucks ass.” Sebastian seethed, handing the phone back to Anthony who had an amused and all-knowing expression printed on his face. A smile swiftly took upon his features as he patted Sebastian on the back, laughing at full force at his friend who was obviously seething with jealousy.

“You’re so jealous, man. She still has an effect on you...never should have let her go in the first place.” Anthony shrugged, placing his phone on the wooden table and quickly taking a hold of his cold drink and sipping on it. His eyes were still glued on his friend who seemed agitated, hands fiddling and body language seemingly uncomfortable.

“Ya know it wasn’t my decision to make. She’s the one who ended things.” Sebastian said, eyes meeting his friend’s own wide ones.

“How could she not? She was obviously into you, I don’t know if you ever noticed but the girl only had eyes for you. Your commitment issues only pushed her away.” Anthony replied. Was the man blind, he thought to himself. It had been incredibly clear to him from the moment he met her, but his friend was apparently blind.

“I think you got too comfortable and she got tired of it. She was there for you and you couldn’t even give her a place in your life. Women like her deserve the whole world and it seems like she’s getting just that.”

Sebastian's eyes peered down at his fiddling hands at his friend’s words. He knew he was right, but hearing it was confirmation of the major fuck up he’d committed a year and a half ago. You did deserve the whole world and more.

“I’m going back to my room, Ant. I’ll see you tomorrow on set.” Sebastian said, placing sufficient money on the table to cover for himself and his friend. Anthony nodded when his friend patted him on the back and made his way out the.

Upon retreating back to his large hotel room, Sebastian couldn’t cope with the thoughts swirling through his head. Receiving a few texts from the pretty blonde he was currently dating made him even more agitated and he shut his phone off. He was too concentrated on thoughts of you.

He had betrayed you by not becoming fully engulfed in you, not giving you your rightful place in his life and letting you slip through his fingers without a single fighting word to stop it. No, sending roses to your place for weeks wasn’t enough after that definitive text you’d sent and neither were the meek few sentences he’d penned down on small cardstock paper trying to put a bandaid on the issue that he simply couldn’t grasp. That wasn’t enough and he knew it.

Seeing you with another man had ignited a fire within him that only you could extinguish. The more he thought about you becoming as enthralled with another man as you’d been with him was slowly enraging him, but it also brought upon a wave of anguish. You were not only an alluring woman, but also carried an aura that made everybody feel comfortable and loved. Being embasked in your very being and ambiance should have been a privilege because you were truly as perfect as anybody could get.

The more Sebastian thought, the more he kicked himself for having been so blind.

“Hard week at work?” You asked as soon as you saw Sebastian’s full frame walk into your apartment. Dark under eye circles and a sluggish walk were evidently key to figuring that he was tired. He looked the part and surely walked like it too, even his clothes were slightly disheveled.

“You have no idea, babe.” He responded back, blue eyes peering down at you as he wrapped his arms around your body. Engulfing you in a warm and much needed hug, more for him than for you it seemed as he sighed and kissed the top of your head. Your nostrils were overpowered by his strong cologne, scent of earth and peppermint as your face was planted against his strong chest.

“My poor baby.” You whispered, pulling away from him and jutting your lower lip out imitating a sad face hoping to lift his spirits with your stupid mockery. He laughed in response and pulled you in for a kiss. It was short and sweet, but really brought his spirits up.

“And it’s cold as shit outside. Almost froze to death making my way here.” He grumbled and you took notice of the cold white specks and wet marks on his jacket. It was snowing outside.

“Come on.” You said, pulling him into the living room by his hands and having him sit on the couch. “For someone from Romania, you sure are a wimp when it comes to the cold.”

“Hey,” he laughed loudly, not even offended at the jab. “I’m all over the place nowadays, guess I gotta get used to New York again.”

You grabbed hold of his hands and sure enough they were cold. Bringing his hands to face-level caused Sebastian to stare at you. You started to gently blow on his hands, pepper kisses on the knuckles and upon flesh on top of the hands. It was a small gesture, but he found himself dumbfounded at why you were so kind to him. And he also found himself feeling conflicted with his feelings again. He was also feeling pangs of remorse as he remembered his short rendezvous with a different woman only a few days ago. It had only involved a few kisses and a quick blowjob, but staring at you in front of him did something to him to feel such regret.

“What are you doing?”

“Warming you up, dimwit, can’t you tell?” You replied, pulling away from his hands and proceeding to use the fleshy lips that had been on his hands only mere seconds ago and kiss his cold cheek.

“You’re an ass.” Sebastian grinned and his lips joined yours in a kiss, running his hands through your array of dark curls and pulling you closer. This was why he was here. The mere comfort of your warm body did things to him he couldn’t explain. It was your hands running through his hair, the way your eyes lit up as they stared at his, long lashes peering up at him and lips engulfed on his very being.

All too soon you pulled away from his tight grasp and stared at him with wide eyes. It was awfully cold.

“I’m gonna make some hot chocolate. I can’t even kiss you without shivering, Seb. You’re too cold.”

“You have a whole heater in this apartment and you tried to warm me up by blowing and kissing my hands first?” He said, grinning at your reddening cheeks at the sudden realization that indeed your apartment had a heating system and you’d been too enthralled in him to even remember.

“Shut up.” You laughed, placing your hands on your face in embarrassment.

It wasn’t even one of the most memorable moments you’d created together, but Sebastian’s memory had taken him to that snowy day for some reason. You were the first person he went to see upon landing back in New York. On that snowy day, in particular, after a long week of work only you could make him laugh and feel at home. You’d even tried to warm him up yourself instead of turning on the damn heater. He’d been so dense back then to the true nature of your feelings for him, and his own as well. It had been so obvious. All your actions were so obvious.

He was kicking himself the more he drowned himself in his thoughts.

(To be continued)

-----

Let me know what you think! Hope to post the next chapter tomorrow. 

[emmy-writes-sometimes]

Guys My Age

You meet Sebastian Stan and end up on a date, but what happens when he asks you out without knowing you’re only 22? 

-

           You wished you could say you didn’t like a guy fifteen years older than you, but you would also be wrong. Very wrong. It was dumb to even assume someone like him could like you back, regardless of age. He was an actor, a good one, who had his life together in every sense of the word. He had apartments in two cities, an endless amount of phone contacts you could never even dream of, and an actual life. You were just some college student who worked for Marvel until he needed a dog-sitter and you were the closest by. He probably didn’t even know you were a college student. If he did, he would probably dump you. And, as a matter of fact, that was what you were waiting for.

           It started out just dog-sitting for him on the occasional weekend when he needed to fly back to New York. You were just excited for an excuse to leave your dorm for the weekend, much less spend time with Sebastian’s puppy, Trooper, and the extra money helped because Marvel could have easily paid you more than they did. You didn’t think he would ask you out, at all. And when he did, even though it was just for one dinner, you were more than excited. That was how you ended up in front of the mirror in your dorm, trying to decide whether to wear the clothes you had on or not.

           “You have a dick appointment with thick boy?” Your roommate said, causing you to laugh so hard you nearly got mascara all over your nose.

           “Jesus Christ,” you responded, “his name is Sebastian.”

           “His name is a snack,” she insisted under her breath. “And if you don’t come back having gotten some, I’ll make you clean the bathroom.” You rolled your eyes.

           “Nothing is going to happen,” you sighed. “It’s a first date and we’re literally just going to a restaurant. He’s definitely classier than fucking on the first date.” You finished with your mascara and threw it back into the box you kept your makeup in, making sure you weren’t wearing too much makeup for what you actually kind of hoped was a dick appointment. Not just so you could say you got dicked down by Sebastian Stan, but because he was hot and you genuinely liked him. He was sweet, hilarious, and he was probably the biggest idiot you’d ever met. But he was also almost forty years old, you kept reminding yourself. There was a fifteen year age gap. And you were determined not to let him know. You didn’t have a plan for when he did find out, because you assumed that he would dump you before then, but you probably should have had a plan.

           “Whatever you say,” your roommate sing-songed to you. “Why are you meeting him at his house?”

           “Because he doesn’t know I’m 22 and I intend to keep it that way.”

           “He probably doesn’t care, honestly. If he knows you’re an intern, he knows you’re probably younger.” You consider this for a second as you put your lip gloss on, because why not, and then you pull out your phone.

           Heading over soon!

           Sebastian started typing almost immediately, just a quick okay, and you grabbed your jacket and wallet before heading out the door.  Your roommate yelled a quick goodbye, but as you rode the elevator down to the garage you did your best to drive instead of thinking about all of the bad things that could possibly happen. Honestly, he probably didn’t care. But you were an anxiety-ridden human being and that was one of the things you had the most anxiety about. To you, age gaps didn’t matter. But it could also be that you just wanted to be with him so badly…

           You were so concerned and thinking so hard that you almost missed his interstate exit. And then you almost missed the street. The house, the fifth on the left, was Sebastian’s, and it was hard to miss. The dog was in the front yard, a few feet from the invisible fence, and started barking as soon as you pulled in. He must have come to recognize your car, even though you spent most of the time with him when you were dog-sitting.

           “Hi, Troopy!” You said brightly, the Rottweiler standing on his legs and leaning on you. “Hey, buddy!” He barked again and then ran to the front door, where the screen was already open. Sebastian was folding a blanket in his hands when he noticed you were there, and opened the door for you.

           “Hey!” He said, walking forward and giving you a hug. He smelled like he’d just showered – he’d used the expensive cologne he kept on his vanity. When he peeled away he was still wearing a smile on his face. The dog let out a bark before settling down on his bed in the corner of the room.

           “Hey, how are you?” You asked. It had only been three days since he had gotten back from New York, where his mom had roped him into coming back for a family friend’s wedding. Then the month before he’d had to go out to California for a meeting about another movie that would be filming in the summer, and that was the month after he’d gotten Trooper. You were thankful that you had been the lucky ADR assistant who’d struck up a conversation with him.

           “I’m good. We finally finished that one scene with Mackie’s double, so at least that’s out of the way.” He was talking about one of the most dangerous stunts Marvel had actually let him do – they weren’t even letting Mackie do it. “You?”

           “Finished up your dialogue earlier,” you responded. “And we had weird staff meeting.”

           “Weird?”

           “Russo’s came by. Taylor was sucking up. It was just weird.” He grinned. Your boss, Taylor, was probably one of the craziest guys you’d ever met in your life. And he worshipped the ground that the Russo brothers walked on.

           “Yeah, that’s awkward. You ready? I got reservations at that Italian place, uh, Boccalupo?” He asked. “Is that okay?”

           “Oh, I love that place!” The only time you’d ever been was your junior year when your parents were moving you in, but you weren’t going to say that. You felt bad for hiding it, but if he asked, you would tell him.

           “Let me just find my keys and we can go, I was just cleaning up a little.”

           “You’re fine,” you responded as he disappeared up the stairs, probably go to his bedroom. You pulled your romper down a little more, just so you could kneel to pet Trooper for another minute.

           “Good boy,” you said to him as he offered you a paw. You’d taught him that trick last weekend.

           “He’s been giving his paw to everybody,” Sebastian smiled as he walked back down the stairs, Jaguar keys in hand. “You should be a dog trainer.”

           “Yeah, when I move out of my apartment I think I’m gonna rescue.”

           “No pets?”

           “Unless you have an ESA form, no pets.”

           “That sucks. Honestly, I wasn’t even thinking of getting one. But then I saw Trooper and…”

           “He’s a cute boy.” You watched Sebastian lock the door, then unlock his car in the same move. He laid a gigantic, warm hand on your back, walking you over to his car. He even opened your door for you, something a guy had… literally never done before. He shut the door and crossed over to his side to get in.

           He was the ultimate gentleman. He poured your water for you, pulled your chair out for you, and even though you insisted he shouldn’t spend an outrageous amount of money on you he still paid for all of dinner. So when he suggested you get a couple drinks at a dive bar, you couldn’t say no. If anything, he said, you could just leave your car at his house and he could call you an Uber to come get it the next morning. He was quite possibly the sweetest man you’d ever been on a date with. And he had stories, tons of them, and his brain was something you could pick at and listen to and laugh with. You could spend and endless amount of time just listening to him. And when he put his hand on your back to walk you across the street to the bar, you could have just melted right into him.

           “ID’s?” The bouncer asked. You reached into your purse and pulled out your bare license, thankful that the under 21 bar had been removed. Sebastian gave the ID’s over to the bouncer, who just smirked.

           “Thank you,” Sebastian replied when the bouncer gave him his license back.

           “22, huh?” The bouncer looked you up and down, scanning you, checking you out, and Sebastian’s hand on your back froze. “You’re a young one.”

           “Uh, yeah,” you responded quietly. You sighed, looking over at Sebastian.

           “You’re 22?” Sebastian asked. He sounded more curious than anything. You just nodded as the bouncer let you in. Thanks, asshat, you wanted to say.

           “Yeah,” you said. Your heart fell into your stomach. Sebastian picked a booth and sat you down, and you prepared yourself for the I can’t date someone fifteen years younger than me. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I just…”

           “Why didn’t you?” He asked. A waitress came up to the booth.

           “What can I get you two?” She asked.

           “Just whatever’s dark and on tap,” Sebastian answered, “and she…”

           “Just a cider,” you responded. The waitress nodded and left. “Because I thought you would dump me before you figure it out.”

           “I wasn’t going to dump you, first of all. I like you,” he said with a small smile. “But you gotta tell me the truth. I mean, I figured you were, because you’re an intern, but…”

           “Yeah,” you sighed, nervously running a hand through your hair. “I’m a senior.”

           “At least you mean college. Wait, you do mean college, right?” You cracked a smile. “There’s a smile.”

           “Yeah. Are you sure you’re not pissed?” He shrugged.

           “No. Honestly, if it doesn’t bother you, it doesn’t bother me. I’m just flattered you’d want to go out with an old guy like me.”

           “You’re not old. You just play a guy who’s a hundred and something.” He laughed. The waitress came back with two bottles, putting them down on the table, and left again. “So why did you even ask me out? If you figured I’m so young.”

           “Because you’re pretty. And smart. And you’re really good at your job. And you like my dog, and you’re great at training him. Because I like you.”

           “I like you too.” Sebastian reached across the table and took your hand in his.

           “So you wouldn’t hate it if I asked you out again?”

           “I don’t think I would hate it. And I won’t judge you for your age if you won’t judge me for mine.”

-

           “So?” Your roommate asked you later as you tried to sneak into the room. She was evidently waiting on you, even though she was on her bed scrolling through her phone. You put your purse down on the floor beside the door, then took off the wedges you’d been wearing. Sebastian was already half a foot taller than you, at least.

           “He found out,” you responded, throwing your shoes into the basket you kept them all in. Your roommate’s face fell.

           “Aww, I’m sorry.”

           “But,” you continued. “He said it doesn’t bother him if it doesn’t bother me. And he asked me out again.” Your roommate’s face lit up this time.

           “Ugh, I knew it! See, I told you you’re pretty enough to go out with him!” You smiled, starting to take your makeup off at your desk. “Did you do anything else?”

           “No,” you laughed. “He kissed my cheek. And he said he can’t wait to see me on Sunday night.”

           “Sunday night?”

           “Sunday night!” Your phone chimed with a message from Sebastian.

           See you Sunday. Had a great time :) 

           “Aww, it autocorrected to a smile emoji!” Your roommate said as she read your message.

           “Just get back in bed!”

-

           “22, huh?” The bartender asked on Sunday night, right as you handed him your ID. Sebastian’s hand squeezed your waist as you just laughed, handing the bartender your driver’s license.

           “Yep,” you responded as you took it back. Sebastian ordered for the two of you and then sat you down at one of the stools. “I get it, I’m a baby.”

           “Yeah,” Sebastian said to you as you turned to him, laying your head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around your back and tugged you closer, then kissed your exposed temple. “But you’re my baby.” You couldn’t help but smile. “Will you be my very young girlfriend?”

           “Only if you’ll be my somewhat older but not middle-aged boyfriend.” In a burst of course you sat up, looking into his blue eyes, and caught him in a smile. But you must have looked to his lips, too, because he leaned in. His lips were ridiculously soft. He tasted like the glass of wine you’d had at dinner.

           “Sounds good to me,” he said after he broke the kiss. Your beers arrived at the same time a photo flashed from across the street. “So, that would be one of the people that likes to follow me and take pictures.”

           “That’s just weird,” you responded. “I wonder how long it’ll take for them to figure out that I’m basically jailbait.”

           “It’ll be fine. I know how to deal with this and the best thing to do is just let them speculate and don’t give them any answers they don’t need. We can go back into hiding, if you want.” You shook your head. A piece of hair fell in front of space and Sebastian pushed it back behind your ear.

           “I think I’m done hiding things.”

           “Yeah, me too.” He removed his hand to grab his beer bottle on the table. “The question is, kid, can you keep up?”

           “Hey, can a kid do this?” You chugged the bottle in one go, slapping it back down on the counter.

           “No, but I can.” Sebastian started chugging his own, then put it down. “So can I see where you live? Or do you have an age limit on those things?” You laughed.

           “You can see where I live. As long as you forgive the bottles of wine we used as decorations.” He chuckled, picking up his car keys, and he threaded his fingers through yours as you started walking toward the bar’s exist.

A/N: This came out way less angsty than I intended it to, but I can’t imagine Sebastian being rude, lol. He seems like such a sweetie! I hope I did your request justice! 💕

[fandom-collective-writers]

Reader x Le Comte de Saint Germain {IkeVam} - Letters to You

Title: Letters to You

Fandom: Ikemen Vampire

Character: Le Comte de Saint Germain

Genre: hOHOHOHOHOho smut

Warnings: sexy sex

Kinks: 18th century sexting: the telegraph, masturbating, biting (vampire biting), slight (very slight) choking, sensual ??? idk , internal cumshot, prob some other things idk

Intended Gender Audience: Female Audience 

Word Count: 2290 words

POV: second person

Request: “I see youve started without me”  by non

Written by: @mythiica​

Other comments: HAH that was entertaining to write, sorry im late! 

Before he left, Comte told you that he would only be traveling for a few days at most. He flashed you one of his irresistible smiles and his canines even sparkled in the lights. Like a gentleman, Comte embraced you tightly before stepping into the carriage and waving goodbye. 

          That was a week ago, and you are starting to get anxious now. 

         The moment you make it down the stairs, you call out for Sebastian and ask if any news about Comte has come. You know that he is getting tired of your antics – constantly inquiring about any mail or telegraphs from him – but instead of scowling at you, Sebastian extends a gloved hand and presents you with a slip of yellow paper. 

         Finally, news from Comte! 

         “Thank you, Sebastian!” you call over your shoulder as you run back upstairs. As you clutch the paper to your chest, you can even smell his scent embedded in the parchment. It is hard to mistake the beautiful combination of sharp earl grey tea mixed with the sublte sweetness of pastries and pen ink. It comforts you to have it in your hands, and you know that whatever message he has sent you is very important. 

         Back inside your room, you throw yourself across the bed, undoing Sebastian’s hard work to make it, an you tear open the envelop to pull out the letter. Your name is written in fine penmenshap across the length of the paper, making your heart ache for Comte. Upon beginning to read, it is almost as if you can hear your lover’s voice in your ear. 

We have just passed through Romania from the east, and are headed back to the mansion. I warn you that my excursion might take longer than anticipated, mainly because of a storm that hit us in Moldova. Do not worry though, I will be back before you know it. 

         You had heard about the strange and powerful thunderstorm that blew through eastern Europe, but you are happy to know that Comte is well and safe. Brushing your finger over the cursive, you realize that the telegraph is dated three days ago. Perhaps it got lost and was not delivered in time? You hang on to the notion that, perhaps, Comte has sent you another message and that it will arrive later today. 

         As you go to set down the paper, another sheet comes loose from the back. The handwriting is less neat than his normal script, but you can still make it out. 

         I have to admit that I absolutely long for you. Although it has only been a few days since we last saw each other, my heart grows weary with every passing moment. Sometimes, there is a rush of warm air that sweeps through my chambers, and I imagine it to be your aura watching over me. But the other, less innocent notion, also crosses my mind, and I have indulged myself this evening. 

         This is for your eyes only, ma cherie, and I know it will bring you joy to read this from me: not only do I miss your beautiful smile and the sound of your laughter in the morning, but I desire the desperation that sparkls when our limbs entwine in front of the fireplace. How long has it been since I had the chance to see you unravel?

         Your breath catches in your throat, and you have to stop reading for a moment to shift your legs and squeeze them together. This second letter, obviously more personal and… dirty… was Comte sexting you? Late eighteenth century style sexting, albeit, but the heat of arousal is already tempting you to satisfy yourself like Comte has. 

         It does not feel the same if it is not you giving me this carnal pleasure… your hands are much softer than my own and, by some kind of magic, you seem to know exactly what I need in the moment. It is beyond shameful to admit that I am consumed by this passion, and that it has lead me to do unspeakable things to the pillow… ah, and now the rush of embarassment. I wish that I could have brought you with me on this trip, for not only would you have the chance to witness the countryside in its winter glory, but I would also ensure to keep you warm during the night. 

         Without realizing, you have slipped your hand down past the elastic of your skirt to press against your underwear. There is already an obvious wet spot, and to think that Comte can do this to you from just a written message… you begin to share his fantasy and give in to desire. There is no harm in doing so, after all, he still has to return home. It feels heavenly to grind against anything, even if it is not your Comte. 

         I sometimes what is hotter: the crackling fire or inside of you. Surely, when I dip my fingers into your heat, it boils my blood and goes up my arm until I feel your burning warmth everywhere. It is not enough just to imagine it because there is nothing on this earth that compares to you as your walls clench around me. The lit in your voice teases me, but it soon melts into moans when I coax your release faster and faster. What a beautiful sound and what a heavenly sight: you, beneath me, unraveled and marked with the white stains of my love. 

         His words flow like poetry and seemingly guide your hand to follow the motions he describes. Your wetness welcomes your fingers with ease, and you contort your body in every direction, searching for the position that allows you to touch yourself more. Spreading your legs seems to be the best option as you delve your digits deeper into your core. 

         You very well know that I was against biting you at first, but upon doing it for the first time, it was like we were merging together in more ways than just physically. The blood – your blood – ignited me, and I knew that we were meant to be together. Not only our bodies, but our hearts and souls together. Can you feel my emotions as I write this? I sincerely hope you can, because I miss you so very much. We will see each other soon, ma cherie. 

         Now, you give in to the pleasure of the flesh, and every other sound is drowned out by your gasps for air and your drawn out moans. The room already smells like sex, but you wish it would smell like his cologne. Turning your head to his pillow, you bury your nose against it as your fingers rub your most sensitive spot. Bliss envelops you just like it does when he is the one giving it to you. It is wonderful – your release – and it sends you higher than you have gone on your own before. 

         As you remove your fingers from inside of you, you feel the slick dribbling down your inner thighs until they drip onto the bedsheets. Giggling at the mess you’ve made, you turn back to reach for the letter to read it again, but it is not there. 

         You turn over, looking for it, and think that maybe in the excitment of everything, it fell off the bed. From the corner of your eye, you see a whisp of a shadow and a flash of yellow. 

         “I see you’ve started without me, ma cherie–”

         At first, you cannot believe that he’s standing in front of you. When you go to sit up and get out of bed, Comte holds out a hand, signalling to stop. The next moment, he is by your side. Comte brushes your hair back with one hand and starts removing his jacket with the other one. “I thought you would read that before I arrived home, but this is even better than I anticipated.” 

         You are compelled to look directly into his beautiful eyes – it is not that you would want to look at anything else, but you do not realize that his shirt is off until he presses his chest flush against yours. The next second, Comte is whispering how much he missed you as his belt clinks off. Snapping back into reality, you fumble with his trousers until they too land on the floor in an abandoned pile. 

         “Ah, yes, this is what I have been missing...” Comte’s voice is hot and heavy, and now that his own clothes are gone, he works at your bodice to remove it completely. You had gotten off while still wearing everything, and when his gaze falls to the wet spot that had soaked through the fabric of your skirt, Comte laughs heartidly. “How interesting. To think my words made you this wet. I do not know to be impressed with my own skill or yours~” 

         “Comte!”

         His fingers lace across your throat as he leans over you, raw emotions seeping through his teeth as he nips your jaw. “Yes, do call my name like that. I think I longed for your voice the most of anything…” Comte drags his tongue across your neck, searching for your pulse like he forgot where it is in the time that he was away. Upon finding it, your lover suckles on it. His hand slips between your legs simultaneously to pull your thigh back, giving him space to grind against you. 

         “P-Please, I’ve been waiting so long for you!” you hiccup as you drag your nails acorss his back. A groan rumbles in the back of his throat – a sign of his own pleasure. You do it again to entice him and coax out another moan. 

         “Tell me, did you like my letters?” 

         “Yes!” 

         Applying the slightest big more pressure, Comte smiles, his fangs winking in the lamplight. They enter your flesh the same time his cock enters your wetness. It is a glorious sensation: the fluid motions of his tongue as it rolls over the puncture marks and the powerful thrusts that send your toes curling. A hand flies into Comte’s hair, and you tangle your fingers in his caramel locks to hold on to him, to ensure that this is not a dream. 

         He grips your thigh in such a way that you know there will be spots of beautiful purple left on your skin. You can already feel the knot building up in the pit of your stomach, but Comte is far from done with you. 

         Cuping your face gently, Comte runs his fingers over your cheek to brush your hair out of the way. His gaze is so loving and deep, you feel like you could get lost in the amber alone. Your hand falls to his jaw and you do the same to him before sitting up slightly. Your breasts are flush with his as you nuzzle against Comte. 

         He continues to thrust into you mercilessly, but the two of you are suspended in a loving moment. Having been reunited now, you cling to him and teeth on his earlobe. “Bite me again, Comte… I trust you, and I’ve missed you so so much.” 

         Obeying your command, Comte dips his head to the marks already at your pulse so he can run his tongue over it again. He presses dainty kisses down your neck, all the way to your collarbone where he bites you once more. This time, he is more gentle, but you are still hit with a wave of pleasure that makes you moan joyfully. 

         You squirm under his firm grip, making some of the blood run down to the bed. Comte catches it with a swift lick before the crimson has a chance to stain the pillowcase. “Careful..” he whispers as his lips fixate against the new puncture marks to suck on you. 

         Mewling, you shift your hips in such a way that allows Comte to bury himself deeply into you. His tip rubs against the spot that makes you unravel instantly – as he repeatedly thrusts against it, you entwine your fingers with his. “Comte, I’ve–” 

         “Sh, ma cherie, I know. And you are so beautiful.” 

         You remember his letter in the moment and clench harder around his length because you want him to climax with you. Comte moans and leans back slightly, giving you a full view of his muscular chest. He rakes his fingers through his hair and continues to thrust into you, dragging your orgasm out longer. A line of blood trickles down his lower lip, so you reach up to catch it with your thumb. 

         Comte grasps your hand and laps at your digit. You moan again, and Comte smirks before coming down to kiss you once more. He tenses a final time and releases inside of you. Crying out, Comte shushes you gently and nuzzles against your cheek. “Ma cherie, how wonderful it is to be home..”

         There is a moment where everything is still and Comte still covers you with his body. But he shifts and takes his place next to you. His seed trickles out of you, making you feel incredibly dirty, but Comte pulls your leg over his hip to hold you close. 

         “You were supposed to receive those earlier than today, but I must say, I am not dismayed in the slightest.” 

         Pressing a hand against his chest, you nuzzle close to Comte and pull the blankets up over your shoulder. Comte gives you a quick kiss across the bite marks before holding you close. “Next time I leave, shall I send you more messages like that?” 

         “No, take me with you. I’ll keep you warm,” you reply with a grin. 

[hcrringtonshair]

Happy Birthday

I’m back! Finally I had time to post this thank god.

Summary: You celebrate your Birthday with your best friend Sebastian.

Word Count: 1,156

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x reader

Warnings: desperate friendzoned reader, fluff at the end

A/N: Inspired by a similar dream I had at the night before my birthday. Exactly 18 days ago I turned 22, so I couldn’t resist writing this (while I was drunk yes but I love it).

English isn’t my mother tongue so sorry for grammatical/spelling mistakes

Tell me if you like it, I appreciate every feedback!

—————————————-

(not my gif)

A birthday was a big deal for the most of the people. Gifts, nice food and a party - that’s how nearly everyone was celebrating their special day.

On this cold day in January, where the sun shines the whole day but when it gets dark the clouds filled up the sky, you would celebrate another day of your birth.

It wasn’t like the other birthdays.

No big party and fifty guests who sit drunk in your apartment.

Just you, your two best friends (a couple) and Sebastian.

Sebastian was the person you know since ever, in your childhood there wasn‘t a day you didn’t saw each other.

He moved into a house next to yours and directly after the last box was in the house, you could see the both of us playing in the sandpit.

This all seems far away, there was a time when you didn’t saw each other for months, just like these days.

He was busy with becoming a famous actor, filming for months and travel around the world.

Today would be the first time you would see him again.

He finished one another movie and promised being back in NYC for your birthday.

It was already 7 pm, you were sitting on the table in your favorite bar.

Nearly every birthday you meet your friends here to celebrate.

Fingers tapping on the table as you watch your phone to check the time and the last message you received from Sebastian.

I‘ll be there in 10! Can‘t wait to see you again!

This was 30 minutes ago and every time you heard the door open you look up hopefully to see the familiar face.

“He‘ll come soon y/n. He promised.“ your best friend smiles at you, but you couldn’t miss the little pity in her eyes.

“Yeah I know.“ You muffle into your glass, the door opens again.

There he stands now, dressed in a plain black sweatshirt, trench coat, black jeans and boots.

Looking outrageous pretty he smiles as he arrived at your table.

“Hello Love, happy birthday.“ he takes you in his arms placing a small kiss on your head.

You smiled brightly while wrapping your arms around him, smelling his cologne makes your heart race and your cheeks burning red as his lips touched your forehead.

“You look amazing y/n.” His eyes wander from your head to toe.

“Thank you Seb. I’m so happy you made it. It wouldn’t be the same if you were not here.”

You both sit down after Sebastian greeted the others.

“Sure I’m here. I would never miss the birthday of the most important girl.”

You giggle into the palm of your hand, as he wraps one arm around your shoulders and you saw your friends watching you and Sebastian with big eyes.

“Do you have anything to tell us?” they asked.

“What shall we tell you?” You looked her with confused eyes.

“Are you two a thing?”

Your cheeks burning again and you felt Sebastian, besides you, tense.

“We’re best friends. Since ever.”

A little pain in your chest comes up as you heard Sebastian denying it.

You know each other for years, back in High School years you had a huge crush on Sebastian.

Then he gets his first Girlfriend and you your first Boyfriend.

But the feelings for him never disappear, you always searched for a guy who could make you feel the same as Sebastian does.

When he became an actor and had a few relationships with Co Actors you really tried to forget your feelings.

You had a long time relationship for 6 years, but he wasn’t Sebastian.

So since you were single again and you finally could spend a bit more time with Sebastian your feelings were stronger than ever.

“Yes. Best friends…” you hastily took a sip of your beer, the uncomfortable silence made you stare on the table.

“I think I’m gonna order some food.” Sebastian was watching at the menu.

You had started a conversation with your best friend and Sebastian with her boyfriend.

“I’ll take a cheeseburger and fries.”

You stand up.

“Where you’re going?” Six eyes watching up to you as you wrapped yourself into your jacket.

“Outside. I’ll be back soon.”

Smoking was the one habit you never could stop. You know about the risk for cancer and all that but you couldn’t stop.

Outside the bar your body was shaking because of the cold weather.

Watching the dark sky you couldn’t forget what Sebastian said.

We’re best friends. Since ever.

“Is everything’s fine?” You let out a short scream as your favorite voice was behind you.

Sebastian looked to the cigarette and in your eyes.

“Everything’s alright. Don’t worry about me.” You smiled softly watching the people who walk by.

“You sure? You were acting strange since-”

“It’s okay Sebastian. I got it, I’m the idiot who was looking forward to see you again today. I’m the idiot who had a crush on you in the high school and since ever then. But we’re best friends, I love my best friend and I hate it and maybe you hate me now”

The last sentence was only a whisper and you couldn’t stand his shocked look so you’re watching your shoes.

Your hearts pounding heavy in your chest, your heavy breath was the only thing you heard besides the blood rushing noise in your ear.

You didn’t know why you told him this now, that he never noticed your feelings. The surprising self-confidence and sudden surge of emotions from yourself let you blush.

You know you destroyed this friendship right at this moment.

“But why… why you didn’t tell me? It could be so much easier.“

You heard him shortly laughing and the palm of his hand on your cheek to raise your head.

You only saw him through a blurry view, your eyes filled with tears because you‘re afraid to lose him now.

“Y/n you’re not an idiot. You’re the most wonderful woman in this world and I could never hate you.”

He stepped forward, you head lean against his chest his eyes on watches yours.

“But you’ll never love me in the way I love you.”

Your voice was muted through the fabric of his coat, warm tears leaving your eyes and disappear in his sweatshirt.

“I do already. I’m sorry I never told you, maybe because of the same reason. We know each other for so long and I didn’t want to risk this. You were the only one who always stayed with me. You always supported me and I know that I can count on you.”

He raises your head with one hand the other one grabs yours.

“May you give us a chance?“

His face was so near you could feel his warm breath on your face, his eyes staring into yours.

“Absolutely yes.” A bright smile appeared on your face.

“Happy Birthday babe.”

[twoblueheartslocked]

Seblaine Para- Present Day(Early February)

Para: Kiss Me On The Mouth and Set Me Free

Rating: PG-13.

Pairing: Seblaine.

Sebastian: @colorsicantsee

Blaine: @twoblueheartslocked

Time: Present Day- Early February, Friday. About one month after- (Hold Onto the Memories, They’ll Hold Onto You)

Location: Brooklyn, New York

Info: Sebastian asks Blaine to let him take him on a real date. Blaine can’t help but let his insecurities get to him. Sebastian opens up about his past and Blaine makes a little progress. The two of them get closer.

Warnings: Mentions of abuse(Physical, mental and some sexual), anxiety, depression, drug use, alcohol use, cussing, death(parents).

Extra Warnings: (This RP is not Kurt Hummel friendly. You’ve all been warned.)

Notes: Some canon events remain in place while others have been changed. Some things may even be out of order. You can consider this sort of canon divergent AU. A few changes are that Blaine’s parents are different from the show (His mother is Filipina), he didn’t cheat on Kurt or date Dave and Sebastian is younger than Blaine. Feel free to send a message if you have any questions!

Extra Notes: Under Cut because of length and sensitive content.

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine stared at himself in his little bathroom mirror, his fingers trying to bring some life into his dark curls. He’d gotten a haircut hoping the shortness on the sides would help, but he was still unsatisfied. It seemed, to him, that no matter what he did with himself he always looked like he was about to fall over from exhaustion. Maybe because you’re exhausted, Blaine. You’ve done nothing but work, school and then work some more with a little side of anxiously waiting for your phone to go off so you can maybe talk to Sebastian.  If you’d just let yourself sleep longer than four hours and stop fighting your medication and perhaps let it do its job then maybe, just maybe, you'd look like a fucking human being for your first date in well over a year.

He huffed at himself before turning away, sick of looking at his face. He and Kurt had been broken up for over eight and a half or so months now, since May the year before and Blaine hadn't been on a proper date in… over a year and a half. Things just sort of stopped with Kurt- dates, kissing, sex- (which he supposed he was fine with even though he would have taken any gentle touch he could get at the time) everything stopped except the ridicule and the bruises, that is. Needless to say, Blaine didn’t know how to do this anymore. And this was Sebastian. Someone he used to be so goddamn comfortable with. And now? He didn’t know if he even knew how to kiss properly without feeling shame and god, he couldn’t even imagine sex. Would Sebastian want that now? Would he be able and willing to wait? Blaine was human, of course, and the thought of Sebastian still made his heart race and his skin feel itchy with so much desire, but every time he thought about it he became clammy and panicky and he froze up. It didn’t help that he thought about it often and in turn got upset about it just as much.

He wanted nothing more than to impress the other man, to show him that he was still someone important, someone that he could maybe love again (had Seb ever?) or even just spend time with. Someone worthy. But, looking in the mirror, he didn’t feel like that person. He felt stupid and desperate for attention from Sebastian and he wondered if maybe he should cancel before he made a fool of himself… He could picture Sebastian’s faelike face when he got the text; he’d bite his bottom lip and pretend he was fine and throw himself into school work or go out anyway but Blaine knew it would upset him. He sighed because he didn’t want to cancel, he wanted to see Sebastian so bad. So made his way to his tiny bedroom, sat on his bed and opened his small nightstand. He found his anti-anxiety med and forced himself to take a half of one with the bottle of water he kept next to his bed. He didn’t want to take it all because of how drowsy it made him, but he knew that if he didn’t he might regret it. He could do this. He could date again. Besides, it was Sebastian. The boy he’d loved so fucking much in such a short time. Blaine could be good enough for him. Right?

He huffed, annoyed with himself, and shook his head before running his hand down his face. He was tired of worrying and second guessing himself. He pulled his phone from his pocket; 5:23pm. He took a deep breath and stood up, looking down at himself and just hoping that his soft, fitted, heather black sweater, one he’d spent too much money on paired with his nicest jeans was good enough the place they were going. He didn’t feel as if it were but… He turned and got into his closet nook for his pea coat. He might as well get some fresh air while he waited the last few minutes, maybe the chill would calm him down. A mix of excitement and pure nerves went through him as he waited wondering which car was Seb’s.

Breathe in, breathe out. You’ve got this, Blaine.

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian hoped that Blaine wouldn’t cancel. Of course, he would understand if he had to, Blaine had told him a little bit about his past.  He would be upset and he would probably make a terrible decision to hide from the creeping feeling of sadness and disappointment but he would understand. Blaine hadn’t canceled yet, though and it gave him the little thread of hope that he needed. Sebastian planned everything perfectly, he thought it might help the other man feel a little less anxious. He had made reservations at the Sushi place and secured a driver for the evening so that they didn’t have to rely on Uber  or cabs(he figured he shouldn’t take his own car out in case he drank too much which he was wont to do these past few years.)  As long as traffic was on his side, everything would run smoothly. 

He blared music as he got ready and kept finding himself smiling. He took a long shower (though he was sure nothing physical would happen), obsessed over his hair in the mirror (his perfectly imperfect swoop of bangs), picked out his most expensive cologne (Fucking fabulous by Tom Ford), and stood in his walk in closet trying on different outfits a little longer than he would ever admit. He settled on a dark blue button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and dark cuffed jeans with his classic, clean white Vans. Sebastian wanted to look his best but also didn’t want to come across that he was trying as hard as he was. He added a silver watch to the look and obsessively lint rolled his shirt before one more spray of cologne.  He threw on a grey wool jacket and grabbed his wallet and decided that he was finally ready. 

Sebastian smoked a cigarette before the car arrived so that he wouldn’t drag the smell of smoke along with him. He thought he vaguely remembered Blaine liking the scent but second guessed himself, it had been such a long time ago. His mind was giddy with the excitement of ‘what ifs’ but he couldn’t fight the nervous tug that sat inside of his belly.  Seb wanted this to go well, no, he needed this to go well. He needed Blaine to trust him again and he needed to prove his patience. 

The car pulled up to the curb on Blaine’s apartment and of course he was standing outside waiting. Sebastian rolled down the window and admired Blaine for a second because he always looked so lovely with his big eyes and curls and fitted clothing.  He jumped out of the car to open the door for him.

“Hey B! Hop in.”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine’s heart and stomach fluttered when Sebastian stepped out of the car and opened the door for him. He looked so damn good in blue (it brought out the little blue flecks in his green eyes) that Blaine forgot for a moment that he needed to move to get into the car and he blushed as he got in. And when Seb scooted in after him, sitting close, a  ghost of his former smile found its way to his face and his breath caught in his throat as a whiff of Seb’s scent washed over him. Sebastian smelled like an intoxicating mix of flowers and leather and of course, the smoke that seemed to faintly follow the other man around. They had met up in person a few times over the last month but each time Blaine felt more and more out of sorts around the other man and sitting next to him in the back of the car, close and with nowhere else to go, Blaine simultaneously felt excitement and fear as they made their way towards the restaurant. He wanted to scoot closer and lean into Seb so he could just breathe him in and rest his cheek against his shoulder like he’d done when they were young but he also felt like maybe he didn’t deserve to be able to do that. 

Sebastian was here, and he’d been so sweet and patient and what the hell had Blaine done to deserve any of that? He’d broken his heart and now Sebastian was acting like Blaine was worth all of this when really he ought to drop him. And again Blaine wondered if maybe this was all a big joke at his expense. That maybe Seb might take him out a few times and get him attached and needy and happy and then he’d laugh and tell him to fuck off…

Blaine made himself take a deep steadying breath. Stop it, Blaine. This is Sebastian, not Kurt. He wouldn’t do that to you. He’s always been good to you, always treated you like you were worthy, and he’s already forgiven you for what you did. He’s already told you he wants you in his life and that he would have dropped everything to help you. Let him do this. Let him make you feel worthy even if you don’t feel that way. He swallowed and looked up at Seb as they rode. His ghost of a smile slipping back over his lips as he bravely reached out and touched the back of Seb’s hand, letting his fingers cover and then gently squeeze the hand that had once been his to hold whenever he wanted. He practically ached with the memory of the first time he’d reached for it.

“I’m really happy I get to spend the evening with you.” His words were soft and just the simple touch was doing something to him and he wanted to link their fingers like they had a couple of weeks ago on his couch but he refrained and let his hand slide away, tucking it under his thigh as if to keep it warm.

The driver was good and they made it to the restaurant in record time. It was a sleek place with a minimalist setting that offered semi intimate seating for a higher price, which of course Seb had paid for leaving them tucked in a little nook. The prices were making Blaine's mind race and he could feel the panic rise up in him as he looked the menu over and tried to find the cheapest thing. He had to take a deep breath and remind himself that Sebastian wouldn’t have picked it if he didn’t know what the prices were. And what's more, he wouldn't have asked Blaine out if he didn’t want to treat him to something nice. He was pulled from his racing thoughts as the server asked them what they wanted to drink. He asked for green tea and nodded when asked about Sake because Sebastian wanted it and Blaine wasn’t going to tell him he didn’t know if he should drink or not because he had just taken his medicine but surely a few sips wouldn’t hurt him. 

He spent a good five minutes wracked his brain on what he could order, honestly it all looked incredible, but his nerves and his memories of harsh words about what he would eat wouldn’t stop and finally he just looked up at Seb and let out a little laugh and a shrug.

“I have no clue what to order. I haven’t been out for sushi in such a long time… Maybe Miso first and,” He paused and looked up at Sebastian for his question, his eyes wide. “Do you think, well, do you think we could do one of those meals, you know, um- where they pick it for you?” He wracked his brain trying to remember the damn word, and why the hell couldn't he get through a sentence without stumbling over himself like he’d never spoken before. He swallowed and bit his lip. “I think it’s called Omakase?” His eyes found the option on the menu and then his heart sank because it was too expensive and why had he suggested that? He went from looking for the cheapest thing to blurting out the most expensive. He blushed as he looked down to hide it and shook his head.

“Oh- I, well, maybe not. I forgot how expensive it is and how long it takes to do. ” He worried his bottom lip, trying to find something else. He knew it was silly to be daunted by a simple, small menu, but fifteen or so options suddenly felt like five hundred and he wanted this date to go well so badly. He shifted in his seat and took another steadying breath as he tried to calm down. This is Sebastian, Blaine. You know him. You’ve seen him a few times over the last month, you don’t need to panic. He tried to tell himself this was just like the other three times they’d talked, but something about it was different. Maybe because Sebastian had put the word date on it and he felt like he was already failing at it. He tried again, determined to be a good date for Sebastian. He had promised Sebastian that he’d do better for him. That he’d try not to drag himself down all the time.

“Unless that’s something you’re actually interested in? The length of time doesn’t bother me.” He offered up a small smile and attempted something like flirting. “Besides, I don’t need to be anywhere else. My night is all yours.”

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian ordered a bottle of sake and sparkling water. He glanced up from his menu occasionally to look at Blaine as he scanned his own.  Seb liked to catch him in little moments like this, where he chewed on his bottom lip or tugged at his shirt sleeves or smiled to himself, moments where nobody else was looking were the moments that the other felt the most confident now. It used to be that he could see Blaine’s confidence so easily, how he carried it on his shoulders with his head held high. Now, there were tiny, tiny glimpses that would peak through when he made him laugh a little or blush. He was going to get that side of Blaine back, maybe it would take months or years but he’d do it. 

He looked up from his menu and nodded. “Let’s do it. Why not? You only live once, right?” Sebastian grinned and took a sip of his sake. God, he had missed Blaine smiling at him, looking at him, talking to him. Even just that small closed mouth smile was enough for his stomach to flip like he was 16 again. “All mine? I like the sound of that.” Sebastian wanted to brush his leg with his foot or touch his knee under the table but didn’t want to scare the other man away. “Could I touch you, B? Like, your calf or knee?” He hoped he didn’t sound creepy and fought the cringe that wanted to display itself all over his face. 

When their waitress came back Sebastian ordered two Miso soups, two ginger salads, vegetable dumplings and shrimp tempura to start with. He also asked if they could do the Omakase experience. Seb loved food but sometimes just forgot to eat because he was so busy with school or too tired from staying out too late or passed out on his floor, or even worse, somebody else’s bed. He figured that he and  especially Blaine deserved a big meal, deserved to feel lavish for a little bit. 

Sebastian looked around the restaurant.  It was very nice,  all dark wood and amber lighting and ornate floral arrangements. He always ended up in places like this, always picked at expensive plates if he were in the mood to eat and not just drink all of the place’s most expensive wine. “Remember when we used to go to McDonald’s at like, midnight for fries and shakes? I miss the little things like that.”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine let out a little laugh- Sebastian had ordered all of this food on top of eight courses of the chefs choice and Blaine wasn’t sure how he was going to be able to eat it all. It simply wasn’t possible. But, Sebastian was smiling at him and he looked happy so who was Blaine to argue? Seb could take it all home with him if they didn’t finish it, and Blaine was sure they wouldn't. He nodded, his face heating up a bit at what he’d said. 

“Yeah, I mean, the night’s yours. I, uh- there’s no one else I’d rather be with.” He took a drink of his tea, hoping Sebastian wouldn’t notice the blush creeping up his neck and into his face. He swallowed hard at Sebastian’s question, not knowing what to say. His body wanted him to touch him, wanted him to let Sebastian take away everything he’d been through; the pain, the neglect, away with his slender fingers and capable lips, but his brain kept screaming at him that maybe the good touches would turn into bad ones, and maybe Sebastian was just as hateful as Kurt- he just hadn’t figured it out yet. He also wanted to just tell Seb that he could touch him whenever he wanted, wherever- but his mouth wouldn't let him. He had to tell himself that Sebastian wouldn't hurt him and he needed to believe it, but he was scared and he felt exposed. 

He had spent so long vying for attention and wanting to be touched gently or even roughly if it were asked for, that he would have taken it from Kurt if he had offered, but all he offered were sharp pinched fingers and nails and shoves and harsh hisses in his ears and all of that left marks he could still feel. And now Seb was here, offering him what he’d wanted and he was afraid to take it. Terrified to let it happen.  But, god, his heart wanted to just let it happen. He just wanted to cling to the love and desire he’d felt four years ago and remember how good he used to feel with Seb. He swallowed hard, his hands feeling clammy and heavy on the table. 

“I-.” He took a deep breath and nodded slowly, his jaw setting as he talked himself through the simple question.  He was in control now. Blaine got to say what happened to him. He had stood up for himself and he had taken his life back and now he got to choose how he lived it. He was in control…

“Yes, y-you can, but-.” He made sure to look directly at Seb as he spoke, making sure he heard him even though his voice was soft and a little unsure.  “Could you maybe warn me? Well, that sounds bad- I just mean maybe, um, make sure I can see your hands first before you do? I don’t know if that makes any damn sense but I feel like if I see you coming I might feel calmer.” He swallowed, trying to keep his tone even. “And my neck, I- want, well- maybe just ask about that or any touch from behind?” He hoped he wasn’t asking too much. But, Seb’s face was attentive and he looked like he was really trying to take everything in. “I want to try with you, okay?”

He blinked back the onslaught of emotion as courses of sushi and the like started to come in and he found himself smiling a little again at the memory of McDonald's. “Yeah, I remember how many strawberry shakes you drank over a five month period.” He shook his head as memories fell down between them. “Do you remember our nighttime rides where we’d pretend we didn’t know how to sing so we could shout the words of the music at the top of our lungs to the stars? And the way you looked in my sweatshirt, the competition one with my name on it? It used to thrill me to no end to see you in it, you know? God, I was so fucking happy...I-.” The guilt of feeling happiness over the months of their relationship started to creep in.

Suddenly then the bad memories came, the ones where after he’d spent the night naked and wrapped up in Seb having gotten their most intimate and Blaine was so close to telling him how he felt, only to come home to the most devastating news. A swell of sorrow threatened to take him down as he thought about all the bad memories and how their relationship had come falling down in the crash of a car that brought the loss of his most vital people and he almost let the sorrow take him. But, looking up at Sebs' open and beautiful face, the face that was giving him a second chance, forced Blaine to fight through it. He told himself he was allowed to remember things fondly, he didn’t need to feel guilty for having something pure and good once. It didn’t mean he missed his mom or dad any less. He could still smile. Loss and Kurt hadn’t taken it all away.

“I don’t remember ever getting that shirt back, by the way.” He thought about it for a moment and no, he really didn’t think he had. “I also remember that you used to steal cigarettes out of your mom’s purse and the way you’d try to hide the smell with too much cologne.” He couldn’t help but smile and found himself lost in each intricate bite, talking about the memories. “It never worked, and the forbidden smoke always followed you around like your own little bit of magic. Still does.” 

Before he knew it and hour had went by and Blaine had eaten too much, more than he had in months, and the mix of expensive food and the little sips of sake and the process of letting himself relive happy memories with someone that made him feel things had him feeling some type of way and he could feel the air on his teeth as he gave Sebastian a real smile.

“Do you treat all of your dates this good, Seb? God, I envy the boys that got to spend time with you over the last four years. I really do.”

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian nodded, “Yeah, of course. I can do that.” He lifted his hands and held them in front of himself so that Blaine could see them. “Just like this? Do you need to touch them first?”  Seb flexed his fingers and set them back in his lap. “We can try later? I think the food’s on the way.” He took a big swig of his sake and refilled his little ceramic cup. He hoped that he could muster the patience for this and that his self conscious demons didn’t make him run away or do something he’d regret because this was going to take time and he really wanted it. Sebastian knew himself and he tended to make bad decisions to keep himself from being happy or facing the fucking music. The music being Blaine and all of the unresolved shit between them. He was going to do this and he was going to be a good...well, they had never said boyfriend before but what were they now? What would they be? 

“ I loved that sweatshirt.” Sebastian popped a dumpling into his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. He had thrown the sweater away one night when he was heartbroken and teenaged which is one of the worst combos known to man. He really regretted doing that on cold nights when the ache of being Blaine-less hung heavy on his heart and he missed the smell of his cologne and hair gel and the taste of his cheap cherry chapstick. “I don’t have it anymore, I’m sorry.”  

Seb’s stomach dipped when Blaine spoke about the smoke. Blaine had a beautiful way with words where he wasn’t just trying to use lines or fake it, he really meant everything he said. His words always sounded poetic and fell gracefully into perfect little romantic sentences that always made Sebastian smile or roll his eyes playfully or just want to kiss the other man all over until he forgot all of the bad things Kurt had done to him. “I think I remember you being really into that. Are you still?” He bit his bottom lip and quirked his head. 

He could have choked on his water when Blaine mentioned ‘other boys’ in such a wistful way when there was nothing wistful or romantic or dreamy about the way Sebastian had been spending his time the last four years. The last four years had been filled with binging on alcohol and snorting things and passing out  in unknown places and making his mother cry and fucking men he didn’t even know the names of and kissing bartenders and asking strangers for lighters and getting drinks bought for him by married men and just being such a fucking loser in the midst of Parisian lights that he could hardly stand himself.

“This...is all just for you, B.” Sebastian shrugged his shoulders and fought the itch to order another bottle of alcohol to drown all of the words fighting to bubble up and spill all over their expensive meal. “There is absolutely nothing to envy.” He took a deep breath and looked around the restaurant. Thankfully they were in a private area. Seb figured that he should get it all out in the open. It was only fair, Blaine had been very open and vulnerable with him. “So, the truth is that I’ve been a fucking wreck. I, uh, ran off to Paris before I  even finished the school year after...everything.  I took a gap year because I was so fucked up all the time. There were...a few times that my mom had to come scrape me off of the fucking bathroom floor and Hunter had to come save me a few times,too.” 

Seb shrugged and pushed around a piece of tempura with a chopstick. “And the boys were just boys. I...I can’t remember like, half of them and I hate admitting that out loud. So, no. You don’t need to envy them or me. We both got stuck, B and it fucking sucks.” Sebastian lifted his hands so that Blaine could see them before he laid his hand on the table in case the other man wanted to hold it. “I wish more than anything that I had just...forgot myself enough to just be there for you.”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine felt relief wash over him when Sebastian told him that he could do that, a small smile came to his face as the other man held hands up to show him that he meant what he said, he nodded wondering again if he was asking to much or he was being a little crazy, surely he could handle a sudden touch from someone he wanted to touch him, right? He was struck with a memory of Sam, after he’d been living in the apartment for a few months, coming to visit and clapping him on the back to show him that he thought it was ‘awesome that he’d moved to such a cool place’, he remembered the rush of panic and the way he’d frozen up and how many times Sam had, unnecessarily, apologized and he realized that no, it didn’t matter if he wanted to be touched, there had to be some structure to it. He really hoped Sebastian was being honest. He could see some struggle happening on his face and he wondered what he was thinking. Was he thinking that Blaine Is too much work? He couldn’t blame him for that.

A pang of hurt pricked at his heart over the fact that Seb didn’t have his shirt anymore. Had he thrown it away? Of course he threw it away, Blaine. You broke his fucking heart. Blaine was suddenly a little embarrassed that he’d clung to the teddy bear for so long when Sebastian hadn’t wanted to cling to what he’d given him. And again, he wanted to kick himself because he’d been the reason Sebastian’s pretty face was pitiful and red and his tears had broken Blaine’s heart into a million little pieces. The echo of Seb’s yelling at him to leave still echoed in his ears and Blaine wanted to cry just thinking about it even though he was here now and right in front of him being so damn honest So yeah, of course he had gotten rid of the shirt. He tried to keep his face as passive as possible when he spoke, swallowing. “I guess I kind of figured that. I can’t blame you.”

There were so many emotions swirling in the air above them, so many memories and Blaine thought that if he squinted, he might be able to see them and reach out and take the bad ones away and hold the good ones close. But, didn’t you need the bad ones sometimes? Weren’t they what shaped you and made you who you were? All the good and the bad and the in between ones. Even this memory of Seb smoking-  which Blaine should hate and shouldn't have condoned at all because it could kill Seb in the long run and Blaine should have been a better boyfriend? and tried to help him stop, was one that he kept close But here he was still not so secretly thrilled by it. He laughed a little, wondering if he’d been that obvious in his secret pleasure of the scent. “Only because it was on you, Seb.” His stomach flipped over the way Seb said that it was all for him, but the happy sensation was short-lived as he watched Seb’s face change and his demons started to come out to meet Blaine’s. He’d heard stories, and Kurt had him convinced that Sebastian was happy, his photos on Instagram always seemed happy, then again, so did his own. How many times did Seb hurt himself? What did Seb mean by fucked up? He remembered how drunk Seb had gotten at his house and wondered if that was part of his past. Had there been other drugs? Had he been hurt by any of those strangers? Blaine couldn’t stomach the thought of Sebastian, head lolling and passed out in some random place. He didn’t like the picture of Sabine, so confident and strong, sad and scared for her son. And Hunter, smarmy and charming, trying to wake Seb up and afraid that he might not.  

He watched as Seb held his hands up and then sat them on the table and Blaine wanted to cry because even though Sebastian was opening up about his own issues he was still considering him and it made him want to reach out and pull Seb into his arms and take away everything that had happened over the last four years. He settled for reaching out and taking Seb’s hand in his and squeezing it tightly to show he had him. He’d done this part a few times now and each time he felt a little more confident. 

“You were there for me, Seb. You were always there for me, I just… I couldn’t let you do it the way you wanted to and it’s all my fault. I feel like I’m the reason you, well, you h-hurt yourself and I hope you can forgive me. I want you to know that I’m here for you if you ever want to talk about it. Or if you just want to, I don’t know, sit with me and just be- I’ll be there. I w-want to do this, I want to keep seeing you.”

He jumped as their server showed up with the bill, setting it in front of them and coming far too close to Blaine. He reluctantly let go of Seb’s hands and he took a deep breath and watched as Sebastian paid the check, which was no doubt way too expensive.  He watched, wanting nothing more than to continue their conversation as their leftovers were boxed and brought back out. He reached for Seb’s hand as they walked out into the chilly February air and made their wait to the waiting car. He’d suggested that Seb come up so they could continue talking. 

His apartment was warm and the glow of his fairy lights made the room seem ridiculously romantic and as Blaine poured them each a glass of wine it stuck him suddenly that maybe Sebastian wouldn’t be able to wait for him. How long would it take for Blaine to get to Seb’s level? Sure, Seb had told him that his sex life wasn’t all good, but he was used to a certain kind of way and here was Blaine asking to see hands before he could be touched. Blaine had once been a person that loved being touched, loved being intimate and close, especially with Seb and Kurt had robbed him of that. He sat down on the couch and handed Sebastian his glass before turning his body so that he was looking up at the other man.

“First off, I want you to know that I’ve had an amazing time with you. Even with all of the emotions. I really can’t wait to relearn each other's lives and I hope you want that too.” He bit his lip, and took a deep breath, afraid to wait too long or he’d panic and not be able to say it, “I want to do this...whatever it is we’re doing. Dating? I-I don’t know. But, I also want you to know that I understand if you can’t wait for me.” He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I know that it wasn’t all good and that you didn’t enjoy every person you were with, but I also know that you’re used to a certain speed of things and I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to get there, so if you n-need to go out with other men to, um, get what you need, I-I can’t be mad at you.” He felt the opposite way, he didn’t want anyone else to touch Seb, but how selfish was that? 

“I won’t be mad. I’ll understand.”

Sebastian's POV:

Sebastian felt relieved when Blaine held his hand. He shook his head and took a deep breath because of course Blaine wanted to place the blame on himself. “It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t create the hard wiring inside of my brain. You really don’t need to blame yourself for this.” He made sure that the other man was looking into his eyes as he spoke, “I stand by what I said when I said that we both did some questionable things in the end. We were kids and you went through something so,so terrible. Thank you. I want to keep seeing you,too.” 

He accepted the invitation to join Blaine inside of his apartment. Seb helped him put the leftovers in his fridge and told him that he could keep them. He laid his jacket on the back of one of the bistro table chairs and made himself comfortable on the couch. Sebastian had only been in the apartment one other time but to him, it seemed like it was always warm and inviting if small. He took the wine glass and resisted taking an immediate sip. Instead he swirled the liquid around and watched the other man as he spoke. “I do want all of that.”  Sebastian could feel his face change, his mouth frown and his jaw tense up as his hand squeezed the stem of the wine glass.  He took a deep breath and blinked a few times, sat up a little straighter and took a giant gulp of his wine. Calm down calm down calm down do not say something shitty. 

Sebastian was sure that Blaine wasn’t actively trying to shame him and it was clear that he had chosen his words carefully. He couldn’t help but feel like he was on the outside of Blaine’s group of friends again, hearing the rumors and slut shaming words of the New Directions even as he proved to be a faithful partner to the other boy. Felt the sting of random strangers calling him names when he was at the club or the muttered words of family members at holiday dinners or the nasty DMs he received on social media. 

“Yeah well, I don’t need any of that.” Sebastian took another deep breath. “Look, I’m really trying here but this is a little embarrassingly sensitive to me. I just want you and I can make myself be good for you.” He scrubbed his hands over his face, suddenly overwhelmed and exhausted from all of the words he had given Blaine that evening. “I don’t need anybody else or to hook up every night,” Seb muttered through his hands on his face. “I never did. I chased you in other men for four years and I can’t believe I’m fucking admitting this out loud.”  He leaned back into the cushions and stared at the other man, “I can just masturbate, you know.”  He hoped it would lighten the tense air a little bit.

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine’s heart sank and his stomach twisted into terrified little knots as he watched Sebastian’s whole face change. He shook his head, his first instinct to reach out and take hold of the other man's wine free hand again and squeeze it like he could soothe the words he’d said with his redundant touch. He blinked, his eyes blurry because he could tell that he’d hurt Sebastian’s feelings and that was the last thing he wanted to do. He could feel tears threaten and this part wasn’t about him so he blinked again to keep them back. His brow furrowed and a fierceness to show Seb that he was good swept over him.

“You are good, Seb.” He shook his head, his words determined and full of conviction. “You were good for me then and you’re just as good for me now. Even after you stopped talking to me when not a single one of my friends, save Sam, believed that it was me who left. They all thought it was you who’d left, and when they tried to talk you down, I defended you. It pissed me off so much that they’d never know how fucking good you were for me and how much I-I cared about you.” he stopped himself from saying loved, he was robbed of getting to tell him that when his mom and dad died and he thought it would be inappropriate to do so now. Even if it were true, even if it never went away.

He cocked his head to the side and squeezed Seb’s hand even tighter at his admission. “I’m so fucking stupid for letting you go…” He  mumbled, his eyes big and pained and he again wanted to pull the other man into his arms and make him feel better, take away his embarrassment and tell him that he was here now and that he wasn’t going to go anywhere, “I should have told you that night on the phone what he did. I should have left right then, or I never should have left you at all. Then you wouldn’t have had to chase me in random people. I just wasn’t strong enough then... But, I’m trying now and I’m here and I want this so badly, okay?”

He took a deep breath, both of his hands still holding Seb’s, his fingers wrapped around him for fear that he’d float away. He felt like he couldn’t breath as he struggled to get the next words out. “I said I wouldn’t be mad at you if you wanted to keep up your lifestyle because I’m messed up, Seb. Kurt messed me up. He… ruined so much of what I used to love.” He licked his lips, blinking back the rush of tears again and he was angry at himself for not being able to talk about Kurt without crying.

“He just turned on me one night, grabbed the back of my neck and shamed me for talking too much at a fucking party, ripped the hair from my scalp a few times. And then it turned into withholding hugs, and then sex and then he’d refuse to kiss me. And when we did have sex he’d never let me be in any kind of control in the bedroom, you know what I mean? He always had to say what happened and how. He’d use it as a bargaining piece and “rewarded” me like a goddamn dog if I did what he w-wanted. And I accepted it because I wanted to be touched s-so badly, anything I could get that was anything close to nice. And then one day he just stopped, the only thing I got was hateful fingers digging into my skin and his nails drawing blood and having to wear long sleeves in the summer, and words that brought me down until I flinched every single time someone came near me. T-that hurt was the only touch I got for a year and a half. He didn’t even kiss me in front of people for show anymore.”

He swallowed hard, and tried to be proud of himself for getting it all out, but he could feel the shake start in his hands and work its way up his arms and then all over. He felt vulnerable and raw and exposed in a way he hadn’t let himself feel in a long time. Even with his therapist. “So, I’m scared. What if I start and I freeze up? I want this so goddamn bad, Seb, I’m just so fucking scared. I feel like I’ve forgotten how to do it all and I want you to be happy. It's been a year and a half since I’ve been kissed, Seb. Don't you remember how much I used to love doing that? What if he took that feeling away?” He paused, his chest tight and breath coming in quick gasps. “God, he even deleted my memories of you… Had me convinced you didn’t want me at all.”

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian sighed and let Blaine clasp his free hand. “Please don’t call yourself stupid.” It did feel good to hear that Blaine had defended his name when he wasn’t around. “Okay, I believe you. I want this,too. We’ll make it work.” He knew that dating Blaine was going to be a lot of work for the both of them. Blaine was going to have to work on his self confidence and trust and Seb needed to think before he spoke and to stop filling the lonely hours with useless vices. 

He set his wine glass on the table so that he could place his free hand on the other side of Blaine’s. Sebastian was quiet and listened because what else was he supposed to do? He hated Kurt, hated that any of this had happened at all. Sebastian chewed on his bottom lip and could feel his skin burn with anger. He was quiet for a few moments as he tried to process the right words to say. “That’s disgusting. You didn’t deserve any of that.” Sebastian ran his thumb over the other man’s knuckles and hoped that it seemed comforting. “ I’d love to kiss you. I’d love to do everything with you. And if you freeze up, well, you freeze up. We stop. We...watch a movie or go get cheap milkshakes or you can take a walk or a shower.” He shrugged, “You’ll get it back, B and I’ll be happy. We’ll be happy.”

Sebastian’s eye brows furrowed and his mouth was a set line. Kurt didn’t know shit about his life, he never had. He was always judgmental of Sebastian and how he carried himself and how he performed and how he spoke and basically anything and everything he did. “Fuck that guy, okay? He had no clue. I still have the pictures.”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine cursed himself for using the word stupid again, he’d made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t do that to himself anymore. He nodded, sniffling a little as he tried to keep it together. Everything felt like so much right now, he felt cut wide open and still so exposed that he didn’t know what to do.  Sebastian was here and he was being so sweet, despite Blaine hurting his feelings. His words sounded like heaven and Blaine wanted to experience it all, he wanted to just be normal. 

He wanted to go back to the pool where he’d boldly kissed Sebastian, his fingers tangled in his hair. Or back to the basement where he’d gotten to touch him for the first time to the soundtrack of a horror film. He wanted to go back to every time they’d kissed or touched, back to the night they’d gone the furthest, how good and close they’d felt with their noses bumping and Seb’s legs tangled around him. He wanted to go back to right before the morning came and he’d had to go home to the worst news he’d ever gotten.  

His skin felt itchy with a desire he’d not felt in such a long time, not even the very few times he’d managed to touch himself under the covers of his new apartment before the shame would overtake him. Sebastian wanted to kiss him. Sebastian wanted him. Not just emotionally but physically. He hadn’t been wanted in anyway in such a long time and he, again, didn’t know what to do with it. His heart skipped a beat at the mention of their memories and how Sebastian had kept them, he wondered if he had looked at them often or did he forget about them like the sixteenth birthday card Blaine had given him that he’d stuffed in a book only to discover it later.

“Maybe you could show them to me sometime.” He bit his bottom lip, “And maybe we could make a few new ones in the future.” He took a deep breath, turning over the words I’d love to kiss you. I’d love to do everything with you. And if you freeze up, well, you freeze up. We stop.  Over and over in his head. Sebastian was right there, all Blaine had to do was ask and he’d get something he’d been wanting for a long time. He felt like a child for a moment as he tried to summon up the courage to ask for it and tried not to second guess himself. Kurt had taunted and taken things away for so long that Blaine was struggling to believe it. But Blaine knew Sebastian, even if it had been years, he knew that Seb wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t mean it and that this wasn’t a pity thing. The other man wanted to do this just as much as he did.  

He swallowed hard as he let one of his hands slip from Sebastian’s and slide up to rest against Seb’s cheek, reminding him of New Years and the fleck of ash that got to kiss his snow cold face. Blaine’s life was his, and he was in control. And again, he heard Sebastian’s words like echoes ricocheting off of his brain and into his chest.

I’d love to kiss you. .And if you freeze up, well, you freeze up. We stop. 

“Could you k-kiss me?”

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian blinked a few times. Had he heard that correctly? Blaine had asked for a kiss and he felt equal parts excited and proud.  He hoped that his breath didn’t stink and that his lips weren’t dry and that the other man wouldn’t regret the decision to ask for a kiss. Seb gently let go of Blaine’s hands and maneuvered his body so that he was sitting cross legged on the couch across from him. He displayed his hands in front of him and waited for Blaine to nod.  

“I’m gonna place my hands on your face,” Sebastian’s voice was soft as he gently cupped one of his cheeks in each hand. He ran his thumb over Blaine’s cheekbone, “I’m gonna kiss you now.” Seb wanted to give him the chance to say no if he decided that this was too much. He leaned in and gently kissed him once and then gave him a second, slow open mouthed kiss.

Blaine’s POV:

Breathe in, breathe out. You’ve got this, Blaine.

Blaine’s heart thumped hard against his rib cage. Every single one of Blaine’s nerve endings seemed to be ignited as Sebastian’s lips pressed so completely against his. He froze for the briefest moment as their lips touched and a part of him wanted to stop, and was trying to convince him that this wasn’t for the best, that Seb was lying. But the way Sebastian's lips felt against his and the press of his fingers cupping his face lightly, made Blaine stay. His toes curled against the hardwood floor as the kiss deepend a little and his hand clenched into the front of Sebastian’s shirt as the other man's lips gently moved against his. Sebastian was kissing him sweetly and Blaine felt like he was floating.

He was overwhelmed with the feeling of it as he forced himself to pull away before the worry could possibly take hold of him again, and he basked in the way Seb had shown his hands for him, and had spoken the words so softly and and gently cupped his face like he did once upon a time, making him feel like someone important. Blaine wanted to cry with the intensity of it. He gave the other man a watery smile instead and swallowed down the new wave of happy tears as he pressed his face into the crook of Sebastian’s neck, allowing himself to breath him in for just a moment, something he’d been wanting to do since he’d seen him again. The smell of leather, and smoke and cold filled his senses.

He could get used to this. He wanted to get used to this. Wanted to let Seb kiss him and touch him and maybe more. Wanted to do the same in return and show Seb how good he really was. And maybe he’d be okay, and maybe he’d have bad moments at times, but right now he was happy and sated in a way he hadn't thought he could feel again. He let out a little laugh and wondered if it felt as good to Sebastian but he was too shy to ask. He bit his lip, ducking his head in embarrassment at how good something so seemingly small felt to him.

“That… that felt incredible.”

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian felt too many things. The familiar feel of Blaine’s lips, the scent of his cologne triggering memories, his hand in his shirt reminiscent of the first time they touched each other intimately. They pulled away, his eyes closed for a moment before he saw Blaine’s small smile. He let him rest his head in his neck for a moment and he wondered if he remembered how sensitive he was there.  Sebastian had thought of this moment a million times when he was all alone at night in his bed, when the alcohol or the drugs or the high from being with another human wore off. He’d stare at the wall or the ceiling and think about kissing Blaine, wonder if he would ever get a second chance, if he’d ever be able to take that chance.  Now here he was, on a second hand couch in a small Brooklyn apartment kissing Blaine sweetly. This wasn’t how he thought any of this would have happened but he was glad it was happening. “I’d say.” 

The two of them cuddled into the cushions of the couch, sitting close, and talked for a little while longer. Sebastian would offer up his hands and Blaine would play with his fingers and he even showed him some of their old photos that he had stored deep in his phone. Suddenly it was midnight and Seb figured he needed to excuse himself for the night. The two of them lingered in the doorway as he put on his coat and his shoes. “I had a wonderful night. Thanks for coming out with me. We can do it again soon, yeah?” 

Sebastian even got to give Blaine a kiss goodbye. This one was just as slow and gentle but just a little bit longer. They said their goodbyes and Sebastian  jumped in the car and watched the other man’s brick building fade as he rode away into the New York night. He wondered if Blaine was watching the car. He hoped that he was. 

/fin.

[colorsicantsee]

Seblaine Para-Present Day(Early March)

Para: We Can Just Dance To This

Rating: PG-13/R.

Pairing: Seblaine.

Sebastian: @colorsicantsee

Blaine: @twoblueheartslocked

Time: Present Day- March 6, Saturday. About two and a half weeks after- (I Wanna Sleep Next To You- But That’s All I Wanna Do Right Now)

Location: Brooklyn, New York

Info: Sebastian takes Blaine out for a night of dancing. Blaine’s very much out of his comfort zone but Sebastian is sweet and intoxicating and the drinks are, too.  He loosens up a little too much.

Warnings: This RP mentions past abuse(Physical, mental and some sexual), anxiety, depression, drug use, alcohol use, cussing, death(parents).

Extra Warnings: (This RP is not Kurt Hummel friendly. You’ve all been warned.)

Notes: Some canon events remain in place while others have been changed. Some things may even be out of order. You can consider this sort of canon divergent AU. A few changes are that Blaine’s parents are different from the show (His mother is Filipina), he didn’t cheat on Kurt or date Dave and Sebastian is younger than Blaine. Feel free to send a message if you have any questions!

Extra Notes: Under Cut because of length and some sensitive content.

Sebastian’s POV:

As cliché as it sounded, Sebastian couldn’t believe that he had gotten Blaine to agree to a night of dancing and drinking. He promised that they could stay in Brooklyn and that he’d arrange for them to have a driver the whole night so that they could get home safely or leave anytime that Blaine wanted. Seb hoped that it would help him feel more comfortable and able to open up a bit more.  “Dancing might be fun. You were always a natural, B. If you get uncomfortable just say the word and we’re gone. I promise. I want you to have fun and that means telling me if you need to go.”

Of course Blaine looked amazing in a tight fitting shirt and dark jeans that looked tailored to his body. Sebastian took a deep breath as he watched him shrug out of his jacket in the car, could smell his cologne and wanted nothing more to press him into the back seat and kiss him all over but, alas they had dancing to do. He ran his sweaty palms over his jeans and swallowed, “you look great. Like, really great.” 

They arrived at a popular Brooklyn bar that Blaine had suggested. The music was loud and the dancefloor was packed. It was dark except for the flashes of pink and blue and green neon lights. Blaine’s face looked beautiful as the colors flashed over his honey colored eyes. His head bopping along to the music. Sebastian lifted his hands up so that the other man could see them and held one out so he could pull him towards the bar. As they pushed through the people, Seb noticed that a lot of the partiers were wearing bright colors or flannels, tee shirts with Nickelodeon cartoons, and there was a drag Queen dressed up as T Boz from TLC. He listened a little more closely to the music and it sounded like an Ace of Base song. “B, I think it’s 90’s night. I don’t think we dressed for it. At least we know the music will be good.” 

Seb ordered them two specialty drinks on the menu for the 90s party (It was called The All That and had...well, everything in it.) and they each took a shot before they pushed past a messy Britney Spears and a drunk dude in a Bulls jersey making out. “Ready to dance?” He held out his hand again as ‘Another Night’ blasted through the speakers. 

 Blaine’s POV:

It surprised Blaine just how comfortable he’d managed to get not only with Sebastian, but a little bit with himself, he’d gotten since January. The last two weeks were no different as he let Seb buy him dinners and kiss him breathless while asking gently for little touches here and there. Seb had stayed over three times since their Valentine’s date and had in return let Blaine cook for him each time, not only did Seb seem to genuinely enjoy each thing Blaine had made him, he seemed so incredibly appreciative and all of it made Blaine feel utterly and completely alien to himself. It wasn’t that he didn’t love the feeling, it was just so different from how he’d been feeling for going on four years now. The complete opposite of how he felt every demeaning day with Kurt.

After a little coaxing from Sebastian, some sweet words placed perfectly out in order to get Blaine to calm and say yes, he felt a little glimmer of of hope as he clung to Sebastian’s arm and they made their way into a crowded bar that Blaine had once come to with Sam in a failed attempt to feel something other than grief one night about eight months ago. Still, he’d liked it well enough and Sebastian had said all the right things  to get him out. His face was still tingling with a blush over Sebastian’s compliments on how good he looked tonight and Blaine had struggled to find his voice to return the compliment. Seb was in blue and blue was always his color so of course his guy looked gorgeous standing tall next to him. Blaine wanted to tell him so, but lost his words before he could manage.

The bar was filled with bright colors and a hard bass thumped through the speakers and Blaine couldn’t help but nod along to the music. Even after all he’d been through, and how much of himself he’d lost- the music still seemed to sing in his veins and the call was too much to resist tonight. A part of him wanted to go out there and dance like he used to when he was younger, but the walls of people were making him feel a little panicky and his head felt a bit dizzy. How many of them would bump into him? What if one of them grabbed him and tried to make him dance with them? Seb pulled him out of his thoughts with a flash of his fingers and a gentle slip of them lacing with Blaine’s and tugging him towards the bar. Blaine knew all at once that Sebastian wouldn’t allow anyone else to get too close to him and a smile ghosted his face as he carried that thought.

He knew he shouldn’t drink because of his medication, but he wasn’t sure how else he’d manage to get himself out onto the dance floor otherwise. Sure, once he was there he might be fine, he might loosen up. But those first steps were always going to be the hardest. The shots and drinks tasted sweet and good as they slid down his throat and rested in the pit of his stomach. The burn hit him hard and fast and Blaine smiled up at Seb and took his offered hand and let him lead him to the dancefloor before he changed his mind. He felt a dash of disappointment that he hadn’t thought to look up the bar to see if there might be a theme. 

“I think you might be right!” He sort of yelled, trying to be heard over the music. “I wish I had looked, I have the perfect pink shirt I could have worn.” He laughed a little, and turned so that he was facing Sebastian properly, his arms instantly reaching out to lock around the taller man's waist to bring them as close together as he could. Not wanting anyone else to get the chance to touch him or Sebastian. He swayed a bit, trying to get his hips to move with the music, his body feeling exposed in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time. He wasn’t sure if he liked it or if he was embarrassed by it and made sure to keep his gaze on Sebastian’s face so he wouldn't look down and see himself and get even more embarrassed. He pressed his hips just so into Seb’s so that Seb could guide him in the dance and his face heated up even more at the intimacy of it all. He was thankful it was mostly dark in here and Sebastian couldn’t see the permanent red tint to his cheeks. 

Another night, another dream, but always you- it’s like a vision of love that seems to be true… The words pumped through Blaine’s body as the two of them moved so perfectly together, like they did this all the time. And with each spin and roll of their hips together Blaine could feel the alcohol and music soaking into his skin and blood and all at once he felt like he could do anything. Sweat was clinging to Sebastian’s hair and dripping down his face, making its way to his neck and it was so attractive Blaine wanted to catch it with his lips, wanted to let his tongue taste the saltiness. And Sebastian’s shirt was rising up and the line of his hip to his stomach was visible and Blaine wanted to run his fingertips over the other man's tummy, wanted to feel the dusting of hair against his fingers and god it was fucking hot in here… He licked his lips and pressed his face into the crook of Sebastian’s slender neck, the boldness of his thoughts taking him by surprise. He was uncomfortably hard and he wanted to do something about it.  He didn’t dare follow up on them though.

As he clung to the green eyed man, still moving in time with him, he thought to himself that maybe, just maybe if he drank a little more he might be able to do it. He might be able to be as bold as his thoughts, he might be able to taste the salty curve of Seb’s neck, might be able to dip his fingers into the band of Seb’s pants. Might be able to get over his fear of intimacy… He tiptoed up so that his lips were next to Sebastian’s ear. 

“After this song we should get more drinks. My treat this time? And then we can come back and dance even more. I, uh,  like the way it feels.” Before settling back on his feet he let himself voice a little bit of his pleasure. “T-This feels really good... doesn’t it?” He mumbled and licked his lips again, hoping Seb could hear him. Hoping he knew what he meant.

 Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian took a deep breath and held on tight to Blaine’s hips as he pressed impossibly close to him. Sure, they had slept in the same bed together and cuddled on the couch, made out a whole bunch but they hadn’t gone any farther than that aside from their past. He was pretty proud of himself for staying calm and even deleting the dating apps he would frequent off of his phone. Sebastian’s nights after making out on the couch in the dim glow of Christmas lights were spent in cold showers and touching himself under his covers. Now, Blaine was all over him and sweaty and he could smell his cologne and hair gel and a few curls were escaping to bounce free and Sebastian thought he might come right there like  an overexcited teenager. 

“I’d love another drink.” He mumbled back, unsure if Blaine had even heard him over the thumping bass. All he could do was nod as he looked down at Blaine. Seb was relieved that the other man felt good and that this plan was successful so far. The song finished and Blaine pulled him towards the bar as ‘Pump Up The Jam’ started. Blaine leaned over the bar and ordered as a few party goers complimented Sebastian’s ‘Zack Morris costume’  to which he scoffed.. “I had no clue there was even a theme…” He tried yelling over the music before just waving his hands in dismissal. 

“B, did you hear that shit?!” 

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine ordered two more of the comedically named mixed drinks for each of them and then ordered three shots of vodka, two for him and one for Sebastian. He made sure the other man wasn’t paying attention and shot back one of the shots. Maybe if he got a head start he’d be able to loosen up. He watched Sebastian force a tight lipped smile to a few girls dressed in zig zags and too much neon, hearing the words Zach Morris and costume. He laughed, Sebastian’s face a canvas of annoyance and confusion. As Seb came closer Blaine handed him his shot and his drink. The second shot he’d taken was settling into the pit of his stomach and he could already feel the blurriness at the edges of his focus. 

“Oh now that’s ridiculous...” He boldly cupped his hand around the back of Sebs neck and pulled him down for a kiss, feeling brave for doing it so boldly and grinning into the taste of sugary alcohol on Sebs lips. “You know that you’re so much hotter than Zach Morris.” His words were already a little too slow and very slightly slurred on the word ridiculous. He bit his lip, hoping he wasn’t making a huge mistake by drinking this much. He held up the hand that held his shot glass and indicated to Seb to do the same. “Here’s to my first real dance in about four years.” The vodka blazed down his throat, leaving a trail of fire in his lungs and a little bit more of his worries were covered up for the moment.

“Dance with me.” He grinned, and pulled Sebastian back out onto the dance floor as Be My Lover blasted through the speakers and bounced off of Blaine’s ear drums. Before he could think too hard about it, he slid his arms around Sebastian’s waist and pulled him close again, pressing his whole body against his. They’d been close during the last dance, but Blaine was determined to somehow get closer yet. He let his hips press into Sebastian’s and was surprised to find that Sebastian was just as hard as he was. He bit his lip and hid his face in the crook of Seb’s neck as he rolled his hips against him again, a little gasp of pleasure leaving his lips. And again all he could think about was how hot the club was, he was thankful for the coldness of his drink, numbing his fingers as they danced, their hips and bodies rolling in tune to each new beat. And Seb was so careful with Blaine, kept his hands on his hips or just around his waist and Blaine wanted to tip toe up and purr in his ear- please touch me.

And if Blaine could just get over it… If he could just allow himself to feel normal for a moment. If he could just let Sebastian touch him wherever he wanted, if he could just take him back to his house and let the taller man undress his body and touch and kiss him all over. They’d done it before when they were teens and it had been incredible. They’d been so in sync. 

Still now though, drunk and blurry eyed, the thought of Sebastian looking at his naked body made him want to curl in on himself. He wanted him, goddamnit he wanted him but every single time he tried to make the leap he was right back in the bed he shared with Kurt, lying next to him afraid that he’d unknowingly messed up somehow that day, or he’d be told he was getting a belly from eating too many sweets and that maybe he should cut back, or he’d get the attention he craved only to be asked to lie on his stomach while Kurt took what he wanted and didn’t even bother to kiss Blaine during or after. Or he’d just be rejected and neglected all together. The thought made Blaine want to throw up and hide and those were the last things he wanted to do. He felt so damn good with Sebastian right now. All he wanted was to  go home and have sex with his guy like a normal fucking person. 

So he clung to Seb, and pressed little kisses against the slender, freckle dusted line of his neck, his fingers pressing into his hips to keep them close and he wasn’t sure how long they danced, but he’d finished off the rest of his mixed drink, the sweet burn tearing down his body in hopes that it would strip away his anxieties and finally, after trying to build up the courage to do it for five songs or more, he couldn't ‘t remember, Blaine finally let the tips of his fingers press against the exposed skin of Sebastian’s stomach. The simple touch sent such a thrill down his body and before his brain could catch up with his movements, he was full on open mouthed and sloppily kissing Sebastian like they were alone. A desire was building from his lips to his tummy and down to his toes. He was breathy and would have been so embarrassed with himself if he weren't so messily drunk now.

“God… Take me home, Seb. Please?” His voice was a whine of want and how the hell did he get drunk so fast?

 Sebastian’s POV:

 Seb was a little taken aback at how bold Blaine was being. Of course he liked it but he had to acknowledge that the alcohol was definitely playing a part. His own thoughts felt like they were starting to run a little slower than normal and his eyelids felt a little  heavy. Seb told himself that after this round of drinks he needed to be done because he would keep going and going and going and what if he lost Blaine or made a shitty decision that he’d feel like garbage about the next day? It took more alcohol to get him wasted than it did Blaine and it was obvious he was a little bit past tipsy. 

He kissed Blaine back and gripped his hips. “And you’re the hottest, B.” They made their toast with their shots and were suddenly back on the dance floor grinding and all over each other. Sebastian was trying his damndest to focus on the thrum of 90’s music but Blaine was kissing his neck, a place that drove him crazy and his music calloused fingers were trailing along his stomach and of course it was so simple but so fucking hot and he could feel Blaine against his thigh. Seb needed to drink some water or feel the cold night air on his red cheeks before he made a mistake. 

Then they were kissing and he could taste vodka and that suddenly sent a jolt of patience through him. Blaine wasn’t sober and Sebastian wasn’t quite as drunk. “Blaine, I’ll take you home but...we can’t.”  ….Fuck, he could cry with how badly he wanted Blaine. “I want to. Fuck, I want to so bad. I’m like aching to.”  Sebastian swallowed and leaned down to press his forehead to the other man’s. “I’ll spend the night but we can’t go farther than kissing, okay? I don’t want you to regret anything.” 

He called his car and got Blaine safely into the backseat. The car ride was filled with dirty whispers and kisses and giggles and Seb’s will was tested at every turn. They somehow made it up the stairs and into the other man’s apartment by some miracle. Sebastian kicked off his white vans and threw his coat over the back of the couch. “I’ll need to borrow some gym shorts, B.” Maybe it would distract Blaine’s one track, tipsy brain a little bit. “And we both need water.” 

 Blaine’s POV:

Blaine let himself smile as he and Sebastian rode back to his apartment. Sebastian was trying to cover himself with his hand, trying to cover that he was just as hard as Blaine was, meaning Blaine had done something right and that Blaine’s ill planned idea might work. He didn’t know what Sebastian meant by saying they could only kiss, he knew and could very much tell that he wanted more. He’d just have to try again once they were under the covers. 

There was kissing and whispered words and Blaine knew he was slurring and that he couldn’t remember what he’d just said, only that it made Sebastian groan and his elven face bunch up with pleasure. He let Seb help him up the stairs, which was silly because he could totally get himself up there, he’d lived here for almost a year now, right? But for some reason  his key isn't working and for some reason when Sebastian tried it it worked better. Stupid key.

He made a show of drinking half of the water bottle next to his bed and offing the other half to Seb. “You don’t need shorts, you don’t even really like clothes when you sleep, silly.” He grinned, and made his way over to Seb, his arms reaching for him, trying to bring him closer to him… And why wouldn’t Sebastian just touch him? Seb was the only one that could touch him. The only one that Blaine ever wanted to touch him again. Couldn't he see that? Please, just touch me. He tried again, moving so that he and Seb were sitting on the bed now. “Lie down with me…” His words were a mumble and his lips weren't quite connecting  and suddenly Sebastian wasn’t wasn’t reacting back, and all it took was for Sebastian to firmly say the words “Not yet, B.” and  shake his head and for him to very gently push Blaine away, all while making sure that he could see where his hands were, and Blaine’s sloppy mind caught up with his logical sense and he was suddenly very much aware of what he was doing and he felt so disgusted with himself. 

Of course Blaine’s body still ached with so much fucking want while simultaneously it coursed with fear- and even thought his body still screamed touch me please oh my god touch me… His brain was catching up and he was not ready for this. He was so fucking thankful that Sebastian was a good person that was willing to stop him. Willing to take care of him even though he too was a little drunk and it couldn’t be easy with the way Blaine was throwing himself at him. And Blaine had to believe it wasn’t easy and that Seb wasn’t telling him no because he secretly didn’t want him. 

Even knowing that Seb was right, that Blaine was drunk and wasn’t ready, and that he would regret all of this tomorrow it still made him feel like crying, it made him feel rejected and he suddenly the sticky sweetness of the alcohol was tearing it’s way back up his throat and he had to close his eyes to keep from throwing up. He wrapped his arms around himself as if it would protect his drunken emotions and keep him from getting sick. He swallowed down a hard, painful lump in his throat and  shook his head, forcing himself to look over at Sebastian through his lashes. Every emotion was suddenly hitting him raw and hard and Blaine wanted to run.

“Why can’t I just be normal, Seb?” He sighed and went to press his hot face into Seb’s chest to hide his embarrassment before realizing  that maybe he didn’t have the right to lean onto him for comfort so freely. Who was he to think he could take Sebastian’s comfort anyway? He wanted to curse at Kurt for making him this way, wanted to kick himself for letting it happen. He shook his head as if to shake off that last thought. He had been doing so well.

“I-I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have put you into this position, it’s not right. And now I’m just more confused than ever. I don’t know what I’m doing…” He let out a mirthless half laugh, half sob. “You are incredible and beautiful and I remember the way you looked and felt under me and I wanted it back tonight. I felt like I couldn't wait. I wanted the feeling of how happy I was back. I mean, I’m getting there emotionally, but physically? When I force myself to look in the mirror after showering, I just don’t like what I see. I still see the little pudge of tummy that made Kurt criticize me, yet I also see that I’ve lost too much weight… And I-I still see bruises.” He swallowed hard, pulling the blankets from the bed over his chest even though he still had his clothing on, he suddenly felt so very exposed. “So, I’m scared for you to see me, to really see me. My body… The thought makes me want to hide and I-I don’t know- I thought that if I just drank enough I’d get over my, um, my anxieties and my pain and that I’d just be able to do it. And it would be as perfect as it was when I was whole. Before my parents, before I went back to Kurt.” He sighed, his embarrassment growing at how stupid he was. 

 “I want to do it. I want you so bad, Seb. I want to be ready...”  He closed his eyes trying to clear the queasiness and dizziness coursing through him. “And what's worse is that I was having so much fun dancing with you, feeling the music with you… and now I feel like I’m just holding you back again. I’ve ruined the whole night.” 

Couldn’t he just get through one day without crying? Without freaking out, or fucking up? Why was Sebastian still here? Blaine truly felt like he’d just erased all of their progress. He should have been honest with Sebastian about drinking with his medicine. Maybe he would still be out there just dancing close to his boy if he had been. That had been enough.

 Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian let Blaine see his hands and gently pressed his palms against his chest, “Not yet, B.” He sat on the bed next to the other man who was obviously trying to hide himself under the covers. Sebastian took a deep  breath, his wobbly mind suddenly very sober. He hated to see Blaine feel like this about himself, to see his eyes go glassy with tears and his cheeks redden from embarrassment. “To be fair, I don’t really know what I’m doing either. We’re both figuring things out and sometimes mess ups happen. Doesn’t mean we’re doomed.” 

He lifted a hand so Blaine would notice and laid it on his chest over the covers. It was sort of an awkward angle but he wanted him to feel and see his affection. “I know that I can’t fix what your brain makes you see but, I love what I see when I look at you. You’re the beautiful one.” Sebastian looked down at Blaine and sighed. “Things...don’t need to be exactly how they were with us before and that’s okay. Trust me when I say that I want to see all parts of you. That means vulnerable you, sad you, angry you, naked you. All of it. I want you just as bad, I promise. I didn’t turn you down because I’m repulsed. Fuck no. B, I’m basically obsessed.” 

Seb let go of a little nervous laugh he was holding back from being so bare. “This shit right here? This is scarier than being naked together. We’ll get there. Remember when I told you I have hands?” He lifted the hand on Blaine’s chest and wriggled his fingers, “over time, baby.” Sebastian hoped the crude joke would make the teary man laugh a little. “ We have time. About those shorts? Direct me to which drawer. You also need some Tylenol.” He stood up from the bed and leaned over to ask for a kiss before going off to rummage for supplies. 

 Blaine’s POV:

Blaine willed himself not to start crying full out as Sebastian spoke to him in such a soothing tone. His words cascading over him and feeling like the first breath after being smothered. Blaine, of course, knew that he was the one smothering himself. He was the one making problems for himself, no one else. Unless you counted Kurt, but Blaine was the one that was letting him slip in through his cracks each time. And here was Sebastian, also slipping through and making him feel the exact opposite of Kurts toxicity. If only he could hold onto the way Sebastian made him feel tighter and loosen his grip on his past. How wonderful would that be?

He let his eyes fall closed, lifted his hand to place over Sebastian’s nestled on his chest and leaned forward to nuzzle into him like he’d wanted to do before he talked himself out of it. He didn’t feel beautiful himself, but something in the way Sebastian said it, something about the word love being used to describe him made him feel the tugging's of hope and his grief over his behavior slowly eased up and he let himself soak the words in.  Seb loved things about him, Seb thought he was beautiful even though he thought he was damaged goods and useless. Sebastian liked all the versions of Blaine, even his sadness and his pain, he was willing to work with him and try to help him.

“I love that you’re not trying to fix me. It’s important that you’re just here with me and letting me be what I need to be in the moment. You’re helping me realize when I’m being toxic to myself and that’s the most important thing. And I know we don’t need to be what we were, I just want to be us again. I want you in every way I can get you and I’m frustrated with myself for all the blocks I’ve put up to protect myself from Kurt, and how I can’t pull them down for you. You’re the only one worthy and I’m sorry I tried to take a shortcut, that’s not good for either one of us.” He shrugged, sitting up so he could go get the shorts for Seb, a faint smile dancing on his face because Sebastian wanted him, Sebastian touched himself and thought about him, Sebastian was obsessed. While he was sure that wasn’t exactly true, it still felt good that Seb thought so much of him. He found himself laughing in spite of himself. “Well, yeah, I know… And I’m glad that’s enough for you right, I just would like to be the one that makes you feel good sometime.” He licked his lips, and pressed a kiss to Seb’s jaw line. Seb was being vulnerable, and he was right, that was the scariest part. He supposed it was only fair to be honest with Seb.

“I took all of my medicines tonight, like I’m supposed to. And I probably should have told you so you could make sure I didn’t drink too much like an idiot. I know better, but I had a plan- a shitty one, so yeah. That’s why I got into the state. I should have told you. The next time we go dancing, and I want to go dancing with you again, I only get one drink and I have to sip it like I’ve been doing when we have drinks.” He handed the shorts to Seb and gathered his pajamas in his arms, allowing the other man to kiss him gently. “It’s a bad interaction and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. But, I’ve told on myself now. I guess that's that.” He laughed and nodded, his head feeling a bit heavy as he pointed out where the headache medicine was. He bit his lip as he stepped into his bathroom, a little frustrated with himself that he couldn’t just change in front of Seb. and as he tugged his flannel pants and long sleeved tee on he thought that maybe next time he could.

When he got back to his little bedroom Seb was already snuggled under the covers, on the side of the bed that was open and you could walk next to, the vulnerable side-  leaving the side of the bed that was against the wall- the safe side, open for Blaine. He crawled up into the open spot, and turned so that he was facing Sebastian as he settled under the covers, the warmth making him feel a little drowsy. Seb pushed two pills towards him and a fresh bottle of water to which Blaine took, knowing he’d feel achy in the morning. He laid his head down on the pillow and reached out in the darkness so that his hand could snake around Sebastian’s waist. He remembered back to the night that Blaine couldn’t bring himself to let Seb just sleep in his bed with him because he was afraid of waking up scared, not knowing who was with him. And now… Seb was here, and he fit and Blaine would know without a doubt that the person in his arms was Sebastian. And while he was still scared, still nervous he might have some bad dream and get confused for a second, he knew as soon as Seb would wrap his arms around him he’d feel safe… And it hit him all at once that the had actually made so much fucking progress in such a short time. He smiled and decided he’d take a few steps forward to regain ground from the steps back he’d taken earlier. He was going out on a limb here and while it was scary, he had to have faith.

“You know- Sam asked if you were my boyfriend again. I know we never said that’s what we were when we were younger,” ( there were so many things they hadn’t said… the I love yous still hung there) “but we were, right? And I’d like to think the word doesn't really mean anything, because you were so much more than just my boyfriend, you were my person. Just mine. You still are, but, as I’ve aged, I realize it might give me a little bit of structure to be able to use it. To hold onto it.” He bit his lip, and pulled Sebastian closer to him, wrapping him completely up in his arms and looking into his green eyes by the glow of the white Christmas lights coming from his living room. “I guess I-I’m asking if I can call you that? Is that what we are?”

 Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian snuggled into Blaine’s side suddenly very tired after the dancing and drinking and talking. He felt relieved that everything was out in the air, a feeling he wasn’t used to. Seb liked to bottle everything up and hold it close and numb it down with various substances but now he had Blaine and he needed to be open and honest. It really was exhausting being a normal functioning fucking adult.  

Blaine gathered him up in his arms and held him close and the bed was warm. Sebastian could hear his heartbeat and his voice in his chest as he talked. “We were, B.” He played with the hem of the other man’s shirt under the covers and had to fight the pull of sleep to get all of his words out. “Yeah, we are. We’re boyfriends.” Sebastian had to giggle to himself a little bit. On New Years if you would have told him he’d be tucked into Blaine Anderson’s bed saying the word boyfriend he would have probably cussed you out. But, here he was and he was content. He hoped Blaine was, too. 

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine studied Sebastian’s face, just barely able to make out his delicate features in the glow of fairy lights. He looked sleepy and a little tipsy, his eyes glazed with the evening's festivities and onslaught of emotions. He also looked happy, a new kind of happy. Not elation, but this subtle feeling that resembled contentment and Blaine wasn’t sure he’d ever seen it on Seb’s face before, not even when they were younger and wild with their feelings. There was this little smile that tugged at the corners of Seb’s lips, creasing the skin where it stretched near his cheeks just so and Blaine wanted to trace his fingers over them so he could dream about that happiness. He realized he felt it too. A content, wholeness that he’d never felt before. God, he loved this man. How had he ever let him go? How had he not fought like hell to get him back? You were fucked up, Blaine. You’d lost both of your parents and didn’t feel deserving of happiness, you know this. Stop blaming yourself for everything and just breathe in and breathe out. You’ve got this… He’s back back, he’s in your arms and with you is where he wants to be. You’ve got another chance.

Seb’s words seemed to be a struggle, not because it seemed difficult for him to say but because the other man seemed exhausted and Blaine couldn’t blame him, he was ready to snuggle in and let sleep take him too.  Blaine wondered if he should have waited until they’d woken up to ask, he guessed this was one thing the alcohol had actually helped with. His many nights wondering if they were exclusive and official finally had an end. Sebastian was his in mind, and now by name and hopefully body would be next. He just needed to learn to relax and know that Sebastian wasn’t going to hurt him. Wasn’t going to judge or make fun of him. Tonight had sort of proven that. The little giggle after the words boyfriends was the sound of an old favorite song sung by his favorite artist that he’d not heard in a long time and he wanted to play it over and over again.

“Sam’s gonna be so happy to hear that.” He bit his lip to fight his ridiculously relieved and over the moon delighted smile, hoping Seb knew just how happy he was too. 

He leaned in, pressed a soft, fluttering kiss to Sebastian’s temple and before he knew it he was breathing evenly in time with his boyfriend, Sebastian tucked into his body safely as if Blaine was the protector this time. 

 /fin.