#just randomly watching interviews on youtube

[tragicotps]

x

[unnamed-atlas]

How bad would it be if I started making fanart for a mcyt series from ten years ago that probably no one remembers and neither of the people involved in it post minecraft content anymore 😬

[poetessinthepit]

It's amazing how many people are incredibly uncharitable towards Palestinians and Arabs in general. I can recall this one video on YouTube where an Israeli guy is asking a handful of Palestinians what they think of Hitler; it's hardly scientific. The majority of Palestinians interviewed in the video have an unfavorable view of Hitler. One guy specifically says Hitler was evil because he burned jews. There are a few of them who say positive things, but then the translator makes it clear that they are joking or being sarcastic. Only 1 or 2 people in this video say good things about Hitler in seriousness.

While that is alarming and no one should be praising Hitler, I think you'd sadly find similar answers in any area of the world where people do not get a decent education on WW2, the holocaust, Hitler, etc. For example, when I was in India, I saw a pack of cigarettes at a truck stop called Hitler cigarettes. My assumption was not India is full of nazis but that there is ignorance about who Hitler was in India ( hindu nationalists/modi supporters are actually comparable to nazis, but that's another convo).

Even with this minute sample size, the video hardly confirms the popular Israeli narrative that Palestinians are nazified people. Yet, if you only read the comments in the video and you didn't watch it, you'd think the opposite was true.

Many of the comments say the video is terrifying and chilling and proof that Palestinians don't want peace/hate jews/are nazis. Some say that even the Palestinians who called Hitler "bad" or "evil" or a "tyrant" are just lying for the camera, and you can tell by their body language. Commenters who don't speak a lick of Arabic insist that in the cases where the translator says the interviewee is not being serious, the translator is whitewashing the answers. Apparently, arabs incapable of joking. If somebody randomly came up to me on the street and asked me, "Do you think Hitler was good?",I can imagine easily laughing and sarcastically saying,"No, he was a good guy. " Maybe not if someone shoved a camera in my face, but I have an awareness of how things could be misconstrued that these people most likely do not.

And I'm not saying there is no antisemitism in Palestine,that would be ridiculous, but it's interesting to me that Israelis can say the most explicitly anti-arab racist shit and people will go out of their way to not see it for what it is, but a Palestinian can clearly state say Hitler was evil man because he burned jews and people will insist that their body language reveals they are a secret nazi.

I might remember some of the details wrong, but I'm just spitballing about something I vaguely remember.

[strawberryspence]

OKAY PAUSE!!! because a famous steddie AU with Musician!Steve and Rockstar!Eddie!

Steve's famous from Broadway and he starts transitioning to TV shows and Eddie's just a little rockstar that got his offered his first acting job and was like, "Why not?"

You know how Hollywood gets 25 year olds to play college students? Yeah, it's that kind of show. In my head it's like HSMTMTS plus New Girl. So there's the musical element, they're living on a dorm together and it's a mockumentary following their college life.

The premise is funny and every episode they get into new shenanigans together. Steve's the character that does the Jim Halpert thing that he looks at the camera and gives a look like "what the fuck?" Eddie's the quirky, theater kid that pulls Steve into a song and dance number every episode. There's other characters of course, maybe a dorm neighbor that joins them in the shenanigans.

And holy shit, the fans are just eating this shit up. Steddie's chemistry in the show is AMAZING and the slow burn with the pining is so good. It becomes the most watched series in Netflix in one day, the site crashes and two weeks later Netflix green lights two more seasons. The fans want the second season IMMEDIATELY because they still haven't kissed after 22 episodes!

People start looking up this two like. How the hell did they not know that Eddie Munson from Corroded Coffin can fucking act?! And Dear Evan Hansen's Steve can do comedy like that? One person on tiktok does this little edit of the two of them in one of the press interviews before the show goes viral and the tiktok goes viral.

The chemistry in the show is amazing but outside??? OH MY GOD HELL FUCKING YES. The interviews are amazing. Eddie is relentlessly flirting and Steve's always just a blushing mess. They had to do the Buzzfeed puppy interview and Eddie was too distracted with watching Steve play with the puppies. The whole comment section is just full with screaming people about "DO YOU SEE HOW EDDIE LOOKS AT STEVE OH MY GOOOOOD" They did one song collab that was uploaded on Steve's youtube channel and it becomes the highest watched video on the channel after a matter of days.

Everyone just ships them. In TikTok they're the hottest topic and you'll randomly get an analysis of one of their interviews on FYP. Maybe some edits of just them flirting with each other or edits of them looking at each other when the others not looking. They get coffee together once and it breaks twitter. They're trending #1 worldwide within 3 minutes. Even the darkest parts of facebook where it's your cousin's mom's sister's aunt's neighbor and they're sharing snippets of the show and they SHIP the two gay boys 😭

[xo-zozo]

ok ok that jameson social media hcs post was so good so can I request the rest of the hawthorne brothers on social media :)

aww tysm!! ofc

tags | @flowers-for-em @nqds @sophiesonlinediary @reminiscentreader @stqrsbythepocketful @lxvebelle @lyrakanefanatic @x-liv25-jamieswife @clarissaweasley-10 @zoyaaaabear @off-to-the-r4ces

grayson 𓈒ㅤׂ 𝜗𝜚

he definitely dosent post/go on social media as much as jameson or xander

the few times he does post it’s either for a birthday or for things that are happening with the foundation and the grandest game

occasionally he does lyra though (you’re welcome i mentioned her)

says that only has instagram and no other socials (that he uses) but he secretly has a pinterest account that only max knows out about somehow

although he dosent post that much he definitely comments things on his brothers posts about how low key stupid they are

another kind of thing he would post would be his photography (which by the way did we just come up with this because i don’t remember this being mentioned in the books i’m just going for it)

he posts avery and jameson’s wedding photos because he was the one who took some of them

along with those cute photos he posts weird photos of jameson as a kid in honor of him getting married

everytime he posts there’s always people in his comments asking him to get a snapchat

his posts usually don’t have captions for some reason unless it’s really important

xander 𓈒ㅤׂ 𝜗𝜚

like jameson, he posts a lot more on his socials than jameson and nash

he has it all too (instagram, twitter, tiktok, snapchat, etc) AND somehow manages to stay active on it

on his stories he posts about random nerd stuff that nobody really cares about still watches because he’s a cutie patootie

he posts all of the gifts that he gives max because it’s like what he’s most proud of

makes an instagram post for every single occasion (birthdays, holidays, trips, etc)

somehow manages to reply to most of the comments on his posts (he dosent get out much)

whenever he posts max, he’s required to her parents accounts just because they said so (idek it just makes sense)

he’ll randomly post a pic of him watching some super popular youtuber and people will go insane

goes to instagram to ask for advice, movie recs, books recs, etc but never ends up taking the advice

if people ask to take photos with him and post it, he reposts it because he’s just so nice

genuinely responds to gossip videos about him and like half of the times he forgets to deny it

sometimes he sees these videos about his brothers or avery and he goes and like actually asks them if it’s true “just to make sure”

nash 𓈒ㅤׂ 𝜗𝜚

i feel like he would be a lot like grayson and only post on big events

but unlike grayson, when these events come around his posts are always extravagant

he writes super long captions for libby’s and avery’s and his brothers birthdays and everyone thinks it’s really sweet

sometimes people just notice the fact that he’s liked some videos online and it becomes a meme or something

will literally never comment on things online because he doesn’t wanna start problems

unless someone says something about his loved ones then he’s getting into a whole online bettle with them

sometimes libby is the one posting on his account and he dosent even take down the things that she posts

he definitely has a tumblr account as a teenager and he’s mentioned it in interviews but no one has found it yet

and yet again, somehow max is the only one who knows the username

he definitely posted for mr and mrs laughlin’s anniversary and made everyone else do it just for the cause

the wedding post of him and libby was extraordinary on his account

[soccer-love]

Hiii mate, could make a request where the reader is a singer and write a song for her ex (the player you want or if difficult to choose could be Jill roord) and you decide if makes a happy or sad ending (the song: if you love her by forest blakk)

If you lover her

Jill Roord x reader

Jill tried to take a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut so she didn't need to see the big headline of the article she just read.

"Y/N Y/L/N releases single - old lover or new heartbreak?"

It was only a seven lines long article, trapped between an Interview with Taylor Swift and an advertisement for Harry Styles new tour.

Even though she knew that this was a terrible idea, she opened YouTube and searched for the new song.

The moment she head the soft voice again, singing the first line of the song, a million different thought rushed through her head.

Memories of old days.

Days that were almost forgotten.

And in the last coroner of her heart she could remember the feeling she had back then.

"Take it. If she gives you her heard don't you break it."

She felt tears forming in her eyes.

"Let your arms be a place she feels safe in"

Man she could remember the many times, she laid in your arms, feeling safer then at any other place in the world. Her head pressed in your neck, or resting on your chest. Forgetting the world around her, just relaxing.

"She always has trouble falling asleep."

The stressful days, packed with training, recovery, games and media stuff, we're getting more. At night, when she was laying in bed, the thoughts in her head just wouldn't shut up. The only thing that really helped here, was when she could sleep with her head on your chest and focusing on the sound of your heartbeat.

"And she likes to cuddle, while under the sheets"

Cuddling was for her, like the most intimate thing ever. More than kissing or having sex. From the outside she looked like a hard and funny person but inside she was actually a massive softy. And she loved just laying on your bed, hidden under the sheets and cuddled close to you.

"She loves Pop songs and dancing"

Jill loved the many dances you had, when she just randomly put on a playlist and started to swing her hips until it became a full dance while singing loud to the music. And she did that in the most random moments, while cooking dinner, making breakfast, brushing her teeth, getting dressed or just when she was bored while working out.

"and bad trash TV"

Oh yes, the many night you spend awake, or the many rainy days you two spend on the couch, watching whatever was on TV. Sometimes she would turn off the sound and make her own dialogs to the scenes.

"There's still a few other things"

"She loves love notes and babies"

Since your older sister already had two children and you were the godmother of both of them, you spend a lot of time with them. And Jill loved them with all her heart. The older one, Jenny was five years old when you broke up and loved soccer and everything that was related to the Frauen Bundesliga. The younger, Christoper was only two at the time and he loved Jill and Jill loved him.

"And likes giving gifts"

From every, really every place they played, she brought something with her. A expensive bottle of wine, from Rome. A scarf with little Eiffel towers on it, from Paris. A cookbook for Tapas from Barcelona and a red wool sweater from Sweden. And so much more, she loved gifting things to you.

"Has a hard time accepting, a good compliment."

"She loves her whole family, and all of her friends."

There was nothing Jill loved more than her family and her friends where part of her family, her team too. And she would do anything to protect her family.

"So if you're the one she lets in. Take it. If she gives you her heart. Don't you break it. Let your arms be a place. She feels safe in. She's the best thing that you'll ever have. She'll love you. If you love her. On days when. It feels like the whole. World might cave in. Stand side by side. And you'll make it. She's the best thing that you'll ever have. She'll love you. If you love her like that."

Durning the refrain she felt tears running down her cheeks, of curse this song could be about anyone. A person you had dated before her, someone you dated after her, but deep in her heart she knew it. She knew that this song was about her. About your story.

Kiss her with passion As much as you can

"Kiss her with passion, as much as you can."

She remembered the lots of kisses you shared, she loved kissing you. And you two had so many different ways to kiss. Soft and slow, with love, passionate and heated. Something else in every situation. Morning kisses where different then good nights and they where different then good luck kisses or kisses after a match. And of curse there where the kisses that you shared in spicy situations.

"Run your hands through her hair, whenever she's sad"

Jill remembered the night, they got kicked out of the European championship. You where with her the whole time, letting her cry in your arms and comforting her through the whole thing.

"And when she doesn't notice, how pretty she is, tell her over and over, so she never forgets."

It was probably one of the things you said the most to her, every day after she got dressed, after the matches when she was so sweaty and feeling dead she almost couldn't believe it.

And then again, the refrain. Jill already knew that she loved and hated that song at the same time.

As it ended, she quickly closed YouTube and opened google, searching for your next concert.

It was only two days until.

And before she could change her mind she bought one of the last available tickets.

----

After the last song, one about a couple getting married and spending there live together, people where throwing roses at the stage.

It was the moment you allowed your self to take a last look at the crowd and then you noticed her.

Standing in the middle, not screaming or celebrating, just standing there, smiling.

In her blue LFDY Hoodie, that you bought her so many years ago.

She looked down at the rose in her hand, a white pice of paper tied to it, before she threw it on stage.

Like after every show you picked up some of the roses, hers too, before saying "Good Night.", and leaving to go to the backstage rooms.

"Y/N the-"

"Not now." You cut your manager Brian off and walked into the room you used as a room to get ready and if you needed some alone time before the shows.

You gave him the bouquet of roses, only keeping the one from Jill, before closing the door behind you.

"Y/N, I know you don't like second chances, but please let us talk. We're staying at the same hotel, I'm waiting at the bar. Love J-"

She was right, you hated second chances.

But there was so much that you wanted to say to her.

You regretted that break up so much.

You both did.

You two never really had a fight until that one night.

It was a rainy night in London, Jill came home really late.

And from the moment she walked through the door, you knew something was up.

"I got offered to play for VFL Wolfsburg." she explained, you knew what that meant.

She was going back to Germany.

And you couldn't do long distance. It was already hard when she was away with Arsenal and you hated the days when she was away with the National Team.

You just had signed a contract with a producing company in London for two more albums. You couldn't leave that.

Without really talking about it, you two knew this was the end.

And by the time of summer, Jill had moved out of your shared apartment. With all of her stuff.

Her cloths, her sneaker collection, her soccer stuff, even her coffee machine.

It was like the live had moved out with her.

---

You hurried to get back to your hotel and refused to talk to anyone about what was up with you.

When you arrived at the hotel bar, you scanned the room, searching for her when you noticed a women sitting at the end of the bar.

There she was.

"Hey." You said and she turned around, she had changed into a black suit, making her look even more beautiful.

"Hi." she answered and it felt like haven, hearing her voice again.

"Can I?" You asked, pointing at the chair next to her.

"Yeah of curse, what do you wanna drink?"

"A Coke please." You answered and she ordered it for you.

"How are you?" she says, after the barkeeper placed the drink in front of you.

"I'm good. Any you?"

"Yeah me too." she says.

You open your mouth to say something but she cuts you off.

"Y/N. I don't wanna do small talk. I came because I need to talk to you"

"About what?"

"The song, If you love her was it about me?"

"Yes." you say, unable to form proper sentences.

"Why?"

"I....I thought it would help me to get over you but I cant. I'm still so in love with you."

"Oh Y/N." she sighs, happy that you still feel that way but also sad.

"I'm sorry that I left, I'm sorry that I didn't asked you to try it with me."

"No I'm sorry, I shouldn't have just let you go, I should have fought for you." you say and she nods.

"I know that there is nothing, that I- that we can make to, just get back to this moment, but I would be willing to start over with you." she says and softly slides her hand on top of yours.

"Me too, I want us back."

"So, everything is on beginning now." she says and you nod.

"I'm Y/N." you induce yourself and hold your hand out for her.

"I'm Jill, nice to meet you." she answers, laughing.

[i-can-read-to-him]

The Wesper Fic Club's Author Spotlight is a post series that aims to feature two to three fic authors a month, randomly selected from a pool of names put forth on our server. The authors are then asked to answer three interview questions, select up to five of their fics for us to feature, and finally, recommend three fics by others in the fandom.

(Note: Our spotlighted fics are not limited to Wesper, though they tend to be a central pairing in most of our authors' featured works.)

This week, we are putting a spotlight on Lou's writing!

Socials: @waterloou (Tumblr) | hugharekillianmelou (AO3)

❀

Part One: Author Interview

Q: What do you consider your strengths as a writer?

A: I’m using these quotes from sparrow bc I’m gonna be honest and say I really don’t know how to perceive myself: “Off the top of my head, I would say you are very good at lyrical prose, imagery and atmosphere, thoughtful characterization, anddd I don’t know how to articulate this as cleanly, but like… the way you handle dark subject matter (like MCD) in a way that makes it feel... like something that should be dangerous to handle, but it is safely contained. Like one of those poisonous Victorian era books with the striking green colour [Scheele's Green] displayed in a glass case. Also, you maintain canon characterization even in AU settings, which is honestly a skill not everyone has. I love AUs, but some people lose sight of canon so quick and it ends up feeling very OOC.”

Q: What’s your favourite fic you’ve written for this fandom?

A: It’s called Lay Me Gently in the Cold Dark Earth and it’s from Wylan’s perspective when he’s 6 feet under and how he interacts with the earth around him and Jesper. Idk how else to describe it. 

Q: What advice do you have for those facing writer’s block?

A: My only suggestion is just to switch to notebooks and use prompt lists. I struggle with writers block far too much it’s hard for me to sit down and write something most of the time. 

Q: When did you first start writing? What keeps you going today?

A: Jonas Brothers YouTube imagines. I had a little flip notebook on a family vacation and lots of time to kill so I wrote my own imagines/fanfiction. It was also like not a self insert but like I’d insert someone age appropriate and live vicariously through them.  I have so so many ideas and only I can execute them correctly so obviously I need to keep writing. It’s a tough job but if I want the content I need to make it 

Q: Who is your favourite character? What do you love about them?

A: JESPER LLEWELLYN FAHEY!!!! He’s just so complex and loving and I also relate to him most bc of his sadness and feelings of inadequacy and using humor as a cover up. I saw the trailers before I read the books and then I read the books before I watched the show but that one clip of Jesper in those first trailers had me hooked ever since.

Q: If you could travel anywhere in the Grishaverse, where would you go?

A: Shu Han because it looks like I’d have the most fun there. 

Q: If you could be friends with any character in the Grishaverse, who would it be?

A: Tolya!!! He’s got a lovely disposition and it’s nice to have someone with similar interests.

Q: Have you had a chance to interact with the SAB cast? Tell us about your experience(s).

A: The only interaction I’ve had is Jack liking my drawing of him. Honestly tho even tho this cast is amazing I think I’d be fine never meeting any of them. There’s already all my questions answered and I’d probably make a fool out of myself if I met them. 

Q: What are some recurring themes you’ve noticed in your writing?

A: I am using more sparrow quotes bc my only answer was “Hozier coded” and idk if that answer was enough: “I think grief/death/mourning is definitely something that comes up a lot. Related to that... I want to say 'transcendent love,' if that makes sense. Definitely also strong platonic bonds, so friendship... Oh, balance and opposites (how the latter interacts and achieves balance)... sometimes with concepts like life and death, but also with people like Wylan and Jesper.” Ty sparrow ur iconic 

Q: What kind of music do you like to listen to while writing?

A: Hozier, lots of like folk or floaty type of genres. 

Q: Are there any songs you strongly associate with a favourite character or ship?

A: "half return" by Adrianne Lenker could be associated with either Wylan or Jesper and their childhoods. I do think it’s odd that this is the first fandom where music is not the driving force of my writing or associating with characters.

Q: What is one of your favourite scenes from the source material (book or show)?

A: Jesper’s introduction in the show is a classic and he’s just SO COOL.

Q: If could change anything about (book or show) canon, what would it be?

A: 😭 besides it being cancelled? Matthias’ fate. 

Q: What are some headcanons you have that you consider your personal canon?

A: MODERN AU: Jesper is an engineering major. Wylan is a chemistry major (hates it), switches to biology and music double major. Jesper makes and sells jewelry on the side.  REGULAR SETTING: Jesper lives for a long long time and Wylan reincarnates many times and they are together until they both pass. 

Q: Tell us about something in your fics that you’re proud of and wish would get more notice.

A: I do like the poetic flow they have from time to time! It’s nice reading something I wrote and being invested. This is a cop out answer but I think they’ve been appreciated an adequate amount! Everyone is so sweet reading and commenting!

Q: What’s something you haven’t written yet, but want to write in the future?

A: OH BOY I have a list: - This is written but mouse wylan  - sci fi au  - Hozier song wesper series  - human meat business crows serial killers  - Hellraiser au wesper  - whump wesper jesper shot  - Halloween series  - vampire crows au 

Q: What’s something you wish you could write, but don’t think you ever will?

A: Most of the ideas listed above. My brain just doesn’t want to write the ideas. Also Smut. Did it once idk if I could write it again

Q: How do you feel about your fics being translated into other languages?

A: Go ham. As long as it’s credited to me idc

Q: Apart from sight, what is your favourite of the senses to describe when writing?

A: Touch I love touch descriptions because you can get an insight into how the characters experience the world.

❀

Part Two: Selected Works

Two corpses we were, two corpses I saw

Not Rated | 275 words | Wesper Hozier coded, Decay, Burial, Happy Ending

Short diddy about knight/pianist wesper

Golden slumbers

Teen | 460 words | Wesper Grief/Mourning, Pre-Grief, Aging, Jesper-centric

Jesper would always be a mourner

Lay me gently in the cold dark earth

Not Rated | 388 words | Wesper Hozier coded, POV Wylan, Character Death, Happy Ending

Wylan needs Jesper, even after life

❀

Part Three: Author's Recs

without pity by demigodbeautiies

Mature | 21.9K | Wesper Non-Con Drug Use, Whump, Mild Gore, Angst with a Happy Ending

It’s 10 am on a Wednesday when Wylan Van Eck’s life crumbles around him. Which feels ridiculous, honestly, but that’s life, isn’t it?  - Jesper gets drugged with jurda parem. Wylan tries his best to deal with it. That, apparently, is hard to do when his life is falling apart.

A Lack Of Air Supply by Milkfrog

Mature | 106.7K | Wesper Past Child Abuse, Agoraphobia, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Wylan Van Eck

"Wylan Van Eck, until the age of 8, felt like royalty. Like the world was made for him, and him alone. He could do anything he wanted to. He could dream of a future so expansive he'd have to live multiple lives in order to fit everything he wanted to do. But Wylan Van Eck, at 22 years old, cannot even leave his apartment." (aka. Wylan has agoraphobia n Jesper moves into the apartment next to him <3)

only love can hurt like this by leehab23

Explicit | 82.2K | Wesper, Kanej Jesper-centric, Second Chance Romance, Pining, Angst, Happy Ending

“I need a drink,” Kaz said. With that, Jesper could agree. “Lead the way.” Kaz took one step and froze, swearing under his breath. Jesper followed his eyeline, his blood turning to ice when he saw what—or rather who—Kaz had noticed across the room. OR: After running away three years ago to Novyi Zem, Jesper finds himself back in Ketterdam. He agrees to pose as Kaz’s date for a job and has an unfortunate run-in with a certain red-headed ex.

Before Sunrise by @aphroditestummyrolls

General | 2.1K | Colm & Jesper, Colm/Aditi Good Parent Colm Fahey, Colm-centric, Baby Jesper

He’d like to say he expected it— it’s a well known fact that babies cry. The first months of parenthood are a tiring business. That was what everyone said, and the ones who didn’t say it were certainly thinking it. But, not all babies cried like Jesper Fahey cried. Just like every night for the past 2 and a half months, the second Addy stopped her gentle rocking and pacing, it started up again— first, as disgruntled fussing, huffing and puffing like a grumpy little bear cub. His downy fluff of curls pressed against his mama’s palm as he scrubbed his nose into her collarbone, tiny fist clenching in her night dress. Colm sighed. OR Jesper is a colicky little baby, and Colm just wants his poor wife to be able to sleep.

❀

Please support our authors by commenting and leaving kudos on any stories of theirs you read and enjoy! Don't forget to also reblog this post and check back soon for our next author spotlight to come.

Interested in joining our server and getting to know our community? Feel free to request an invite via the @i-can-read-to-him ask box.

[gotafewtricks]

dear my new fav kiri writer,

if you saw the le sserafim collab (kiri's hot, fite me), you know that romance dynamic where it's like idol x fan but the idol is the fan's bff and the fan (who has big crush on idol to the point they buy ONLY merch of them) has no clue said idol is their friend (and the idol's real struggle of "do i tell them i'm idol or i just watch them be an absolute dork at simping me") lmao

if you can pull it out of a hat, i'll love that lol

★ I'm (maybe) fearless

Really? I'm pretty honoured. I wrote like, two sentences with her and you already like my interpretation of Kiriko? Honoured <33 Anyways, YES, mhm—I have seen that! I've been meaning to play around with this dynamic, anyways :3

I could see Kiriko as a popular singer and dancer; though, I could also see her as a YouTube personality as well. I'll settle with a singing Kiri for now :3

As a vocalist, Kiriko had to work her way up to the top. It was rather difficult having to hide all of that at first; knowing damn well how it would affect her life outside of the showbiz. Scheduling was something she'd worry herself to death over; knowing that her easygoing personality wouldn't fair well with having to keep up with dates, knowing the promises she's made to her friends back home, and her fans.

Being a close friend of Kiriko was such a rewarding experience—you knew how determined she was at her job, with clearing out the yakuza scum of Kanezaka. You'd worry about her often, with how it may even take her a few days, to weeks, or even a month to get back in touch with you. You understood that those were times where she was busy with the Hashimoto; as it wasn't just tiring, exhuasting local work. She has explained to you about their, the Hashimoto's, extensive relations with other criminal organizations around Japan.

Though, what you didn't understand, was that Kiriko wasn't just occupied with beating up some petty criminals in her absence.

As much as she hates to lie, she knows that she cannot be visible as a pop star. Not only she would become a much bigger target, she already keeps her work more on the downlow with the Hashimoto—and, even then, she is recognized as one of the heroines of Kanezaka. Alongside with the reputation of her mom being a formidable foe with the blade, and her dad being a known weapons-maker... it makes the girl's head hurt having to process what'll happen.

You were a huge fan of Kiriko's idol persona—really, really huge. Photocards upon photocards would be decorated with cute stickers, slid inside holographic heart sleeves to add to your ever-more growing collection. It'd embarrass you if you actually tallied the amount of money you've spent.

You were there at the beginning of her career, finding her randomly by chance whilst refreshing your recommended feed. Taking a listen to a few songs she was cast in, and you were automatically hooked. Either it was just her energy, voice, looks... everything about her was just something, someone rather, that you could find some ultimate comfort it.

Although, you were not on the verge of it being a disturbing obsession—as you were rather worried about your favourite idol. You'd understand if she had to post something about taking a brief hiatus, as you'd imagine yourself being so, so exhausted being in such a position. There was just something so relatable with her that makes you connect all the better to her—she just really felt real.

Often times, many people would put up a fake smile; a façade, in front of fans that only like them because of a shared attribute. Either just appearance or that "Ah, yeah, you sound good!" aesthetic, you were glad that you saw the girl on stage and acting like herself. There was such an energy would would always be commented on in interviews that the idol would have, and you always wondered how she was always so energetic.

Maybe she was an incredible actor, you'd muse.

The thing you hated most, though, was not being able to watch any of the videos as soon as they'd drop. You knew to not disturb Kiriko by messaging her during important missions, but you can't help but send her some screencaps of some really adorable pictures of your favourite idol, now, can you? Kiriko would laugh whenever you'd complain about how she always has to go out whenever there were tours going on.

Kiriko, at first, would be extremely flattered. She does have a crush on you, and has had one for a while, but she didn't want to ever complicate things.

Seeing you gush about her idol career, and how you related so much to this celebrity—and how you loved literally everything about her, Kiriko couldn't help but feel just oh-so flustered over... "Heh, wow... my crush likes me?"

There was something that Kiriko did take notice of, and it was with how you phrased everything that she did appreciate. Not just the compliments, and even if you did just praise and praise her vocal talent, perfomances, and looks—there was something that Kiriko did enjoy listening about, and it was how you really felt, in comparison. Because, all-in-all, Kiriko loves her fans. Every single one of them.

If she could sign autographs all day, if she could talk to everyone at a meet-and-greet, if she could spend hours and hours rambling at panels and conventions—oh, she would. She adores how she was able to build up such a community, and how it thrives off of interaction. Not just from her, but how everyone else is just so supportive. It really makes her feel like she is doing so much more for not only just the town of Kanezaka, and not just for Japan—but for the countless, countless others out there in the world.

There was something special, though, with being best friends with a fan.

You'd talk to her about a new single release, talking about what your interpretation of the song was. You could easily tell that it was experimental, as the lyrics were not written by her herself—rather, someone else. Her phrasing would have more wordplay—her cadence would've been more casual and loose, to reflect on her more teasing, playful nature she likes to exhibit on-stage. You'd explain, with stars in your eyes, about all of those little details you've noticed.

Kiriko would nod along, affirmingly so. It's not like she's had to be in the studio, recording for hours and hours at a time to get the perfect take—having the mixers work at the vocals and instrumentals.

It took Kiriko a long while to think about this, but she finally did come up with a way to express her view, and to finally fess up to you.

Kiriko wasn't one to lie, as it made her feel dirty. Obviously, she does have a trouble-making stream to her name—running around the streets of her hometown whilst trying to get to the bakery first-thing was something she'd always get motherly chided for. As with her career, she felt like she really had to tell someone. It wasn't illegal for her to be an influencer, but it felt like she was lying to her best friend—lying to you.

She didn't know how you'd react. There was a surprising amount of comfort she did feel whenever you'd talk about her idol persona, considering you didn't blindly just love the music and her looks—rather, her personality, and how real and tangible she felt. How she was able to make such a committed, compelling fanbase that you were proud to be apart of, and to contribute to it. With everyone else having nothing but praise for the young rising star, Kiriko would be a bit scared at the fact of someone only liking her just due to a shallow reputation.

Though, over the course of this life, she felt both fulfilled in not only receiving the love of many others; but giving it all back in her work. Either with her songs, or some pest (Hashimoto) control, she's in debt to all of her fans. She really couldn't thank them enough.

As her heart drew heavy, the worries increasing everyday, she just might as well spit it out. With your concluded reasoning, Kiriko thought that you'd understand why she had to keep it a secret—obviously—and not go around telling anyone else. She knows about the industry, and how celebs with lovers are treated, so she just needs to be careful—teetering across those rules.

Whilst the two of you were together out at night, hanging out behind the arcade—per usual—you offered Kiriko one of your earbuds. It was playing one of her songs, and you were bopping your head to the rhythm; whispering the lyrics to yourself.

"Do you want to know something?" Kiriko would then ask, and she immediately felt her heart thump. Just being close to you already makes her feel so, so anxious; it felt as if she wasn't a pop star, and wasn't an expertly-trained ninja—just a little schoolgirl again.

With a hum, you'd turn your attention to her, adjusting your position on the ground to be more comfortable. With your legs in the right spot, you then settled down. "Yes? I'm sorry, this song is so good."

With a laugh, Kiriko would reassure you that it's okay. God, how she loved just seeing you so happy, and with how she was able to leave such a positive imprint on you with her hard work—it felt as if you were her world. Her everything.

"Eh, don't worry." Kiriko's little chuckle was contagious, as you smiled as she gestured her hand towards you. "There's something really funny about this track, actually. I'd be surprised if you didn't already know it; you nerd."

You two then continued on with your banter, and then you listened to what Kiriko had to say about the song. After a moment, the chorus came on, and then Kiriko started to explain her thoughts out—her voice in that tender tone, reserved for the ones closest to her.

"The lyrics were actually written for someone in particular. There's a theory floating around that it's for this idol, or for this other person but..." She'd then laugh, tucking her hair behind her ears. "Pay more attention to the words. You're smart; you can figure it out."

The chorus was then explaining about the singer's love for their best friend, and with how everything matched up so perfectly—the vocalist musing about past childhood memories, talking about certain interests, and explaining their want to fully express yourself... you blushed. You looked up at Kiriko, she was wearing a smirk, and then down at your phone at the song currently being played. You didn't want to just assume it was you, as you didn't want to embarrass yourself, but-

"I dunno if you know their name or not, but they do look awfully a lot like you. Maybe I should make the two of you meet, huh?"

[raapija]

hiiii, so youtube randomly recommended me a scotty james interview and since i was bored as fuck i actually watched it and let met tell you, this thing was full of lance lore. first of all, lance and scotty met at the urinals at the melbourne gp, like what???? 😂 and scotty recognised him instantly but didn't think lance would recognise him and didn't say anything but lance went like "oh, scotty james." whilst they were both peeing and i'm just.... lance let the boy pee in peace... 😂 and apparently after that one conversation most of which took place at a literal fucking urinal lance called up his sister and her that he had found her future husband... lance my boy, just what did you see at the urinal?? 🙃 but it worked out and now they have an inside joke everytime they're at the melbourne gp about how they should go for their piss together and i'm just like.... don't tell me these people are adults... they're literally still just children 🙃 the interviewers also asked him about dts and what the show might have missed when it comes to lance and scotty said that he's very happy go lucky and funny but also that he feels for lance in that he (and some of the other drivers) feel the need to protect themselves from people and the media because they will rip you apart for anything and as such we might not get to see their full selves as a consequence which... fully understandable.... (oh and apparently lance's hebrew name is jacob) (also sorry for the full on rant, he also had INTERESTING opinions on oscar but this is already a goddamn monologue 😂😂)

I love whenever Red Flags podcast clips show up in my fyp on tiktok 😭😭 This episode was WILD and I love how Scotty just rolled in like "Hell, yeah, let me give you all the tea, including when me and Lance saw each other's dicks" 💅✨ The Red Flags guys got such good humour, perfect for me 👌 (I really need them to get Lance on the podcast, that would be hilarious)

Their merch is also insane. I got this Alonso shirt a long time ago and it's still probably my favorite shirt ever 😭👋 Combining my love for metal music and Nando 💚

[hooked-on-elvis]

okay, hiiii! so ahem, I’m not too sure if you’ve watched elvis’ “stay away, joe,” and if you haven’t you really should. although it’s kinda…iffy, he’s so damn fine in there 😮‍💨🫠

I’m really curious about one of his ladies in the film! Quentin Dean, do you know anything or any info as in if they’ve had a bond, or any outtakes?

She randomly popped into my head after watching the wh0rehouse scene in the ‘68 comeback, bc susan henning lowk looked like her in it?!?! lol I think it’s the bangs or sumthin’

But please and thank you, I gotta know!

Hi, Lexy! I'm so, so sorry for taking so long to answer your question, dear. Thank you for reaching me out for information on Elvis' movies, I feel honored you'd think of me for this, really. If there's something I love to talk about, concerning Elvis' career, this is it, his movies — even if it's not always I am lucky finding satisfying info on them, like in this case. 😣

I've spent a long, long while trying to find anything about Quentin Dean and her relationship with Elvis during making of Stay Away Joe (that's why I took so long so answer you) - from Youtube videos to movie magazines articles, but unfortunately I still haven't.

Strangely, Quentin Dean retired pretty quick from Hollywood, after only 4 movies done and very few one-episode appearances in some Western TV shows.

Her acting career (TV and movies) lasted from 1967 to 1969, two years, and it's just bizarre since she was nominated for a Golden Globe Awards for Best Supporting Actress due to her first role on the big screen on the Oscar winner movie (Best Picture) 'In the Heat of the Night' (1967). This movie was released the same year Quentin filmed Stay Away Joe with Elvis (filmed from October 9 to November 27, 1967, released on March 8, 1968).

Quentin Dean prepared for her screen test for the Academy Award Winner movie In The Heat of the Night (1967).

Curiously enough, other than the movies, one of the few TV shows Quentin worked on was The Virginian, created by - guess who! - Charles Marquis Warren, director/producer/screenwriter of Charro! (1969 *updated for minor correction on date -- 'Charro!' was filmed during July and August of 1968 and released in 1969*). Quentin appeared in only one episode of that show, but even so, why would she give up her acting career so fast? She surely had good network in Hollywood... that's just weird. What's worse is that it seems she rarely gave interviews during her acting career and/or denied interviews after retiring from Hollywood, which would explain why her interviews are so hard to find.

1968. Quentin Dean as Saranora on The Virginian (TV Series, 1962–1971) S7. E1 "The Saddle Warmer".

I really tried to find any interview with her, and there must be some, but with a career as short-lived as hers the journalists' interest for details on her acting career is not that big, therefore there aren't modern articles online (that I have put my eyes on) and the existing vintage 60s printed ones weren't scanned and shared online so far, I suppose. 😣 What a shame!

I am confident (or just hopeful) there must be some kind of information concerning her work relationship with EP in books specifically dealing with Stay Away Joe making of, such as "Elvis: Behind The Scenes Speedway & Stay Away Joe" by Erik Lorentzen. I haven't read this book yet, unfortunately. I'm so sorry for not being helpful for now, dear. I tried. I wish I knew something. :( If any friend reading this have already read this book and know something helpful, please, feel free to share what you know with our community. ♥

Well, since we're talking about it already, if you ask me I'd say Elvis and Quentin had a pretty good professional relationship but not as close as Elvis and some of his other leading ladies had. This is pure speculation on my part, but I have a reason to think so. This if one of the movies Elvis did (this one and 'Kissin' Cousins', maybe a few others too, not sure) that Priscilla -- as well as some of the wives from the Memphis Mafia guys -- was right there watching Elvis work in the filming set. I'm not implying Elvis would have had any intimate relationship with Quentin if Priscilla hadn't been there on the filming set or anything but, speaking on friendship matters, it makes sense Elvis would have spent more of his time on set, during breaks from filming, with his gang than with the other actors. Not sure but if so, Quentin wouldn't have many opportunities to get better acquaintance of him, I guess she wouldn't have much to say about him as a person because of this.

What I can say is: below is a "behind the scenes" picture [on the right], not a publicity shot for what I've read. Judging from their faces, Elvis and Quentin had fun working together. ✨ I know, I know... this is not specific but this is what I can share for now.

I'm gonna keep trying to find some information about Quentin's career, and hopefully on her accounts over working in Stay Away Joe. I really wish I could understand why her acting career was so short and what she has done afterwards in her life, so maybe in interviews she shared something about it.

For now, I'm humbly gonna share some of the pictures of Stay Away Joe. And, yes, I've watched it! I've watched all of Elvis' movies.

Stay Away Joe didn't catch my heart at first but little by little it grew on me. Now it is one of my favorite Elvis movies, even tho I still think it's an extremely noisy and a little messy-looking movie too. LOL. Even so it's a good movie... here and there I re-watch it. ♥

Elvis Presley (Joe Lightcloud), Joan Blondell (Glenda Callahan), and Quentin Dean (Mamie Callahan) in Stay Away Joe (1968)

And, to make all of us a little happier, our man:

Stay Away Joe (1968 released, filmed in late 1967)

[aksually2008]

aksel's guide to relaxing media

A lot of people have asked me to compile a list of my go-to depressing/dooming media, but I feel it would be irresponsible to give you that without an antidote.

Maybe this will be of help to you on an anxious night and instead of smoking a cigarette you'll turn to this or maybe its a nice cozy afternoon and you need something to maintain that feeling.. either way here's stuff that I consume on those days:

Film/TV

Joe Pera Talks You to Sleep

This is something I have recommended to most of my friends at this point and if you ever give me the opportunity I'll probably talk your ear off about this man. I have a very special affinity towards this video, as it randomly found me on a particularly stressful quarantine night and boy am I glad it did.

I'm not gonna talk about it too much further, but if you're feeling a little bit lost or anxious, even after my 250 watches of this, I end up feeling a little bit better. If you like it make sure to check out his show, Joe Pera Talks With You on hbomax as it's one of my favourite shows ever!! The episodes are short and easy to digest :)

How to With John Wilson

It's hard for me to exactly describe this show, it's just one of those things you have to see for yourself to fully understand the appeal of it. For the most part, this show uses street footage of New York City and interviews with average everyday New Yorkers to convey some kind of narrative, usually disguised as a tutorial(hence the "how to"). There's a lot of absurdity, laughter and sometimes it plays with your emotions a bit, but sometimes it's nice to just unwind and learn about the insane industry of scaffolding in NYC.

Come and Visit Us Again

Okay, so this is probably one of the most niche things here.. Considering that it has 205 views as of me writing this and it's in estonian with no captions available.(Maybe someday I'll translate it)

As far as I can tell, it is a documentary short made by Liis Nimik, who at the time was a film school student. It follows the day-to-day of a village grocery store cashier and her interactions with the people who visit her store everyday.

Moms, dads, scary little kids and village bums.. It has it all and serves as this kind of a sweet time capsule of one particular week in this one Estonian village. I will admit this is probably extra comforting for me as I grew up near a village similar to this that also had a store just like this one. In a small village, the people who work at the local grocery store really become apart of your everyday life and I loved to see it captured like this.

I feel like even if you don't understand Estonian, it's nice background noise.

Malcom in the Middle

Need I say more?

Youtube

If you know me, you know I'm a fiend for comforting youtube personalities. Here are some of my favorites:

Steve Wallis

Even if you aren't particularly interested in camping, you'll still probably enjoy these videos. Steve is probably one of the sweetest dudes I've found on YouTube and he really knows how to keep a conversation. All in all, just nice to throw on if you just wanna disconnect for 30 minutes

Shirley Curry

I've loved Shirley's stuff for years now. She calls her viewers her grandkids and posts vlogs & let's plays. I think that covers the gist of it.

Featureman a.k.a. Tom Willett

This is an older gentleman, who for the most part shows you different meals that he makes & tells you stories about his time as an actor in the 1980s. Every video feels like you're visiting your grandpa.

GIFGAS

I found them quite recently, but they're quickly turning into my favourite Youtube channel. Videos of trainhopping, which are so well shot and the music choices are soooooo gooooood. Every travel vlog should have a mandatory requirement of at least (1) shoegaze song.

Roger Hance

Found this guy randomly on my recommended and him only having 4k subs feels like a crime. He's a bird photographer, who vlogs his outings and talks about all the little birds he sees. super cute.

Music

Below are a couple of playlists and tracks I recommend for this occasion:

Mixture of ambient tracks and just relaxing instrumentals. There's no vocals. During the summer, I would always listen to this if I was sitting in a park or doodling.

This is just some of my favourite ambient tracks. If you've never really listened to ambient music before, check this out I guarantee you'll like it.

I have fallen asleep to this so many times that sometimes i just constantly hear it in the back of my head. Maybe thats not a comforting thought but it helps me sleep so that's a price I am willing to pay.

That's about it though.. I didn't include everything, because this is already pretty long and I have to keep some things secret, but I hope you find use in some of this. bye

[sleepyyghostt]

wait??? how did you (almost) end up in a mrbeast video?? :O

ohmygosh okay so

with my good old lifelong youtube special interest, i had a period where i was just FASCINATED by all the actual workings behind the various mrbeast channels (and the story of how he got there), particularly mrbeast gaming (which was basically just minecraft videos)

and- ok this might just turn into an infodump for a sec cause i find the operations of it rlly interesting sdfsdk. i had a wonderful rabbit hole week where i watched a ton of videos from the perspectives of ppl who were actually in those challenges, which led me to find out about the mrbeast gaming discord server...

A monstrous thing with 60,000 members and zero channels you can talk in (thank god). It took a while to even JOIN cause it was always at member limit.

The whole thing basically got nuked last year and reformed into some sort of fortnite thing that ive never quite looked at since, but the way it worked was members would fill out a google form with their discord info, and anytime they needed people for a video they'd use some kind of bot that randomly selected a bunch of those form submissions, and checked them against people whose discord accounts were currently online. those accounts would be given a role that let them into some extra discord channels that held the relevant details for whatever the event was.

I joined the server, filled out the thing, and months later, ACTUALLY GOT SELECTED

a couple hundred people, if i recall correctly, had been as well, and the mods announced they were going to hold interviews over a couple hour period later that week, looking for people to be in a future unspecified video.

the odds of me having even gotten to this were crazy so i was already hyped, but i kept my hopes low just to manage it all sbjdhf

The interviews were done in five voice chats, with enough room for one player and a mod. someone would join, get interviewed, then leave the call, then there was a split second opportunity to click on that call with just the right timing as a hundred other people tried to do the same.

somehow, i got in one! i was interviewed by a guy called brethoodie, who was the actual head of mrbeast gaming behind the scenes?? I think??? and like-it actually went super well. we were vibing and it was just a really nice conversation tbh. he had a question they asked like 'if you won 100k and had to spend it on something for urself (rather than donate it, pay off debt, all the other realistic but generic responses), what would you do?' and i thought abt it and realised that in this fantasy land, i'd go all out crazy on materials for some kind of massive art project or sculpture type creation, and he said that was one of the most interesting responses he'd had!!

after that i continued to watch the voice channels and i realised that at the rate they went, they really couldve only interviewed like. i dunno. 20-40 people max? so i was feeling PRETTY good about my chances. he said theyd get back to me in a week or two if i'm in, but I just never heard anything back.

which was like, fine? was disappointed ofc but like. Oh Well. it was an interesting time regardless

a couple months later a video came out, i figure this was the one they'd been working on so i have a look and...

thats

well, that's not me. but it is someone with a STRIKINGLY similar username to the sleepyyghostt that i am

Now, its perfectly possible that i just simply didn't get picked. but a part of me..... like really wonders if they got the usernames mixed up somewhere along the line. like maybe the hoodie guy was like, oh who was that person i talked to, sleepy something? (grabs a different sleepy someone) You!

or maybe, they just picked other people. which is fine! i just.. i told this whole story to my friend a couple weeks ago and they were INSISTENT that they totally meant to pick me and my conspiracy theory was correct x_x

either way!!!!! an interesting story!!!

[kogurazu]

I'm just gonna rant my chest out regarding the recent Watcher's announcement because I'm still trying to process wtf has just happened & it's pretty late at night. (For the record, I'm one of their international viewers from a 3rd world country.)

It sucks that I cannot buy their official merch that is already expensive (due to conversion rates) + not being able to deliver in my country when I've some spare cash. That's fine by me.

It sucks that I cannot go & watch their live shows being available at certain countries that doesn't cost a damn fortune (plane tickets, hotel bookings, converting currency, etc.) + not in a million years they'll stop by SEA to do tours/live shows. That's also fine by me.

However, the way how they hyped up the announcement mentioning big things are coming only to just drop a video saying "Hey, we're leaving Youtube as the money ain't flowing much to cover our 'extravagant' expenses & all future contents will be locked behind a paywall. So if you're unable to watch most of your beloved shows because you can't pay then toodles!" That's NOT fine by me, let alone anyone else in the matter.

Even if I've a fuck ton of money to spare, I'm still not buying their monthly/yearly WatcherTV subscription because it's JUST. NOT. WORTH. IT. Who wants to buy a monthly yet alone yearly subscription just to watch 1-2 episodes of a show I like being put out weekly per season & then waiting for some time before another new season of another show that has a 50-50 chance whether I enjoy it or not pops up to fill the void? Not me, that's for sure. Damn, I rather subscribe to Netflix or buy YouTube premium if I could because the money spent is worth the content I can get on a monthly/yearly basis.

I get putting exclusive contents such as BTS, special interviews/podcasts, early access to episodes, etc. behind a paywall since they're just nice bonuses for fans who're able to support them but locking REGULAR YOUTUBE content that's not being released consistently & have nothing much to offer behind a paywall? I think you're losing your crackers on this one chief.

After watching the announcement video, I feel plainly numb & disappointed that this is the route they're going for. I understand they need the funds to make videos, pay people & also wanting the freedom to make content that you want to make without adhering to the restrictions of advertisers. I get it.

But what I don't get is this mind numbing decision to spit at the faces of people who can't afford to fork out some cash to enjoy their once free favourite shows that helped cheer them up during the tough times. It's even more disgusting what I heard from Coffeezilla's recent video about Watcher mentioning that they don't even give out a free WatcherTV subscription to their Patreon members as a way to say thank you for your patronage is really saying something eh?

_____________________________

4 years ago, I found Shane & Ryan via Buzzfeed Unsolved just like everyone else randomly being recommended to me on Youtube. I binge watched all seasons of Buzzfeed Unsolved exactly at the same time they're announcing their departure from Buzzfeed to go do their own content at Watcher. What's this? A channel where I can watch the ghoul boys do their own thing? Hell yeah, sign me tf up.

It's really nice to see Watcher growing & trying out new different shows. I'm aware not all the shows they put out matches my taste & that's fine by me. Probably there's an audience out there who enjoy these shows that aren't for me.

I remember the time I was excited when they bring in Ghost Files & Mystery Files which can fill in the Buzzfeed Unsolved void. Are You Scared? & Too Many Spirits are the shows I enjoy listening to them as background noise so that I can focus on my work.

Puppet History & Top 5 Beatdown is where I enjoy the chemistry between the talents & guests. Weird, Wonderful, World & Tourist Trapped is where I enjoy seeing cool places run by passionate people & is like a nice, come hangout with me type of video blogs.

4 years later, this is where I'll be hopping off with the knowledge that I can't no longer be able to enjoy all these shows anymore like I used to just because I can't afford to whip out some measly cash to pay for regular content that I can easily find on Youtube for free.

Even if you leave up the old videos on Youtube (after you've backpedalled your decision to remove all the videos entirely in the first place due to the backlash & gaslighting us into thinking we misunderstood but your Variety article says otherwise), the whole ordeal just makes the experience to re-watch all the content that I used to love & enjoy feels awkward & left a sour, bitter taste in my mouth.

With a very heavy heart, I say thank you for the fun shows you have been putting out these past 4 years & farewell to Team Watcher. I don't know how're you going to recover from this but I wish you a best of luck moving forward.

[libraryofglitter]

My fellow Deadloch fans: I just discovered that when you watch it on Amazon Prime and click on the X-Ray thingy in the corner, there are EXTRA VIDEOS?? Like mini interviews with the actors and showrunners for each episode?

Maybe everyone already knew this but I'm so happy I randomly found that

(Oh and the first interview is up on Youtube, it's called Deadloch Roundtable)

[adhd-merlin]

Ok so, @destielification asked about my Simon Amstell joke, and I'm not going to hijack poor @centurieslove's post but...

(Sorry, this isn't Merlin-related but it's tangentially about Colin Morgan, so it is at least Merlin-adjacent.)

Simon Amstell, if you didn't know, is a British stand-up comedian and certified weird little man.

I'm not, like, a Simon Amstell fan or anything, but I do like stand-up comedy. And I became aware of Simon Amstell some years ago after watching one stand-up show of his on YouTube, which is Do Nothing, which is still available, in fact, and you should definitely watch if you haven't because it's pretty good.

Now Simon's openly gay, and in Do Nothing he talks a lot about his romantic life, or lack thereof, and he jokes a lot about the type of men he finds attractive, who he describes as "ill-thin", "timid" and "vulnerable".

And one of the funniest bits in the show is one where he recounts an extremely awkward encounter with one such man — an actor Simon had "fallen in love with", despite never having talked to him.

So Simon went to see a play starring this actor in the hope of meeting him afterwards and maybe talking to him a bit, which didn't happen.

What did happen, though, is that a few weeks later Simon randomly bumped into the very same actor, love of his life, in a shop. And he decides there and then that it's destiny, and he must shoot his shot. (You can skip the quote below if you intend to watch the show, but I'm pasting it here because it's hilarious).

I saw him there, he hadn't seen me. He was about a metre away from me. There, that thin. And what I thought... For some reason, what I thought would be really cool and seductive would be to just stand in the middle of the shop and shout his full name. He turned round, alarmed. I could see the terror in his eyes, but because I'd started at a certain volume, I thought it'd be too odd to get any quieter. So I'm there just shouting about the good reviews this play has had and he's going, "Oh, I don't really read reviews." And he's all timid and vulnerable, which is why I love him. And I think the difference between us, because I think we were both quite shy as children... I say, "I think" — I did a lot of research on him.

And that man's name? Ben Whishaw. Apparently.

Look, I have no idea who claimed it first. I don't know if Simon admitted it in an interview at some point, or what. But it became An Established Fact™️ that the actor he was talking about was, indeed, Ben Whishaw. And if you watch Simon Amstell's show, and you know about Ben, well. It tracks. It makes perfect sense, actually.

Anyway, Simon talks to Ben, gives him his email address with some excuse or another. Ben promises to email him. And then, he doesn’t. Cue sad noises from the audience.

And that could have been the end of it, except that Simon, certified weird man, decided to be weird about it. And instead of letting it go, he elaborates his trauma by incorporating it into his writing.

And in case you think I'm exaggerating — here's what Simon himself wrote about it some time after the fact, in his own book. Straight from the horse's mouth.

A year later, the actor was in another play at the Royal Court. So I thought I’d give myself one more go at making him love me. I felt I’d written and performed all the insanity out of my head and was now ready for something real. I believed this because it would have been unbearable to accept that after all that transformative, healing comedy, I was still the same lunatic. (source)

So what Simon did was write a sit-com, in which he played a fictionalised version of himself, and in it he put a character called Ben Theodore, a pretentious theatre actor and also, basically, Ben Whishaw. (Like, if you know Ben Whishaw, you cannot not see it. That's him talking.)

But hang on, you might say, I thought this was going to be about Colin? Why are you going on about Ben Whishaw?

Well, Simon, in case you don't remember (and at this point I hope you don't) is also the writer and director of the film Benjamin (BENjamin), starring Colin Morgan as the lead and title character.

A Colin Morgan who, I might say, has something of a young Ben Whishaw about him. And he doesn't play a pretentious actor this time — in fact he plays a version of Simon Amstell himself — but the fact remains that he's exactly Simon Amstell's type, kind of looks like the man Simon was admittedly obsessed with, and even bears his name. And Simon cast him in his film to play himself, which is weird but also funny and very on brand for him, because he's self-obsessed like that.

So, to come back to my joke — I just thought the idea of Simon Amstell developing an obsessive crush on Colin Morgan and going to see The Tempest specifically to see him and missing him was hilarious.

But he did get to have him in his own film, so.

(I can't censure Simon too much for his obsession with Ben because... well, same, and also it resulted in Simon giving us Colin Morgan looking Peak Gay and serving cunt in Benjamin — in his own accent! — and I'll be forever grateful for it).

here's another post about it