#just them letting us know they're still attracted to each other in this past 2 eps

[cuddlybitch]

Get a grip.

QUEEN OF TEARS (2024) dir. Kim Hee-won, Jang Young-woo

[crepesuzette2023]

I know this is a broad question, but if you had to pick, what is the most angsty Mclennon fic you’ve read so far ? You have some amazing recommendations and I’m looking to hurt my own feelings lol

Hi st-john!

Thank you for the ask! This made me think about some of my angsty forever-faves in general, sorted from subtle to savage. (Under the cut.)

If you want to skip straight (do we use this word around here?!) to the fics I personally find the most angsty: they're at the bottom of this post. I also included some dark/angsty stories here, but I didn't want to repeat any recommendations.

Your ask helped me understand what it is I find the most angst-filled in mclennon, so thank you for that. I was surprised to see so many canon-adjacent stories on my list, and I think it shows that, to me, the most potent angst doesn't come from outside threat but from their minds, as evidenced by events that actually happened. The two of them being scared of (and turned on by) the big fat x they mark on their shared psychosexual map is one of the most attractive aspects of mclennon for me—followed by the two of them taking x for granted, and being permanently damaged once they realize they lost it forever. I also like stories that show their mutual resentment, even as they're into each other (sometimes literally). Anyway, under the cut are some of my favorite angsty fics in three handy categories:

1.) Carry That Weight/Love is Strange: Their relationship is deep and doomed and addictive. These stories are all set during the Beatle-years. I'M GONNA HAUNT YOU (sexysadie): 1968. John and Paul talk about women, but really, they talk about each other. A brief story about longing in the absence of hope. WALKING CLOSE AT HAND (harmonising): John and Paul as pair of broken mirrors, haunted by death in all things. Their love as beautiful magic-turned-curse. LET ME ROLL IT (@downtothe-lastdrop): The 1968 NYC Apple Launch Divorcemoon from Paul's POV. Lively and detailed, and drenched in what it must feel like to drown in unspoken words. I THINK OF THINGS WE DID (J_deandra_j): 1965. John and Paul fuck in Austria during the filming of Help! There is something intangibly upsetting about this story: anger and frustration; lust and sex with little room for softness—but it's so good and real and raw while it lasts. This one is impossible to forget! John POV. HOW YOU WERE DIVERTED (candle_beck): Paul handles John. This is about sex as one of the things that is "just them"—an urgent and rough emergency intervention. 2.) Tributes to the Canonical Breakup. To me, the break-up is an angst-filled nightmare. Not to mention the looming day of John's murder. I love stories that explore the break-up and its aftermath with compassion. And, as painful as it is, I especially love stories that make me feel that the love was there, always (even though it wasn't enough). THROW THE WINE (@savageandwise). This one is such a classic I imagine everyone must have read it, but I can't not mention it. It was one of the first fics I read—arrow through me, and such. The more painful it gets, the more it slows down. That takes courage. YOU'RE A DREAM LOVER (@dailyhowl). John and Paul share dreams and love each other in their dreams—gloriously so—but in the end, the dream is over. The most brutal aspect of this one is seeing Paul in the end, alone. I STILL MISS SOMEONE & CLOSE THE DOOR LIGHTLY WHEN YOU GO (RosalindBeatrice). Paul and John become lovers in the 70's, but their encounters are few and far between—and in the end, darkness falls. But there's also the mercy of honesty, tears, and, yes: sex. Beautifully melancholy story about the vast distance between bright stars. ONE NIGHT IN BANGKOK (@backbenttulips). Apologies to the writer in case my "angsty" reading of this one misses the mark! Above all, this is a hot hot hot story about John and Paul hooking up in Bangkok and fucking every which way, remembering the past and seizing the present. But it's also a story about a relationship that no longer exists: their musical partnership. They destroyed the one place where their love had a home. Now, faraway hotel rooms will have to do—and there are no goodbyes or plans for a next time. (I must repeat how hot this is though.)

3.) "A day may come when the courage of Men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day."—Except it's exactly this day. Deep pain and sadness: the break-up is final; no one was saved. [Writers mentioned here: this is meant as a compliment. All of these stories are so good. It's not for nothing that I was never able to forget some lines from these stories, even though I read them very early on.]

HEAR ME, MY LOVER by @savageandwise. (Unfinished, but feels finished.) At the time the Beatles break up, Paul attempts to kill himself. He lives, but much else is destroyed. No one is wrong or right—their love and fracturing cut all possible ways. I read this as a literal translation of what the loss of the band (and John) meant for Paul, for a while.

FOUR LAST SONGS by @celebratorypenguin. This AU (four parts) explores what would have happened to the Beatles if John hadn't been the one to die first. Sentences from this one still live in my brain. The story is both sweeping and deep, and covers the POV of all four Beatles. Its truly an alternate history of the band, and it's very sad. But so, so beautiful, too.

Bonus Materials: John and Paul never became John&Paul. Everyone comes at this differently, but to me, the idea of them meeting, and falling in love, and turning away from it, is as angst-filled as the worst of the the break-up. That's why I think these two are among the best, most courageous, but also most angst-filled, of all mclennon fics: ALL THE BOYS ARE SINGING LOVE SONGS. (@dailyhowl): Paul settles down with Dot and they start a family. He and John meet again, and the spark is still there, but after a night together, the fear of starting over is greater. This magnificently written story fucked me up, and I've yet to pick up the courage to read it a second time. To quote the writer: this is a story about "the angst of living in the prison of society-approved masculinity." Yes. "Happy ending seekers need not apply." That is fair. As a happy ending seeker, I comfort my tender shipper's heart with the exhilarating fact that the real John and Paul did, in fact, become lovers become famous with the Beatles and formed a close musical partnership. THERE ARE ALWAYS FLOWERS (tarenas). This is a story I mentioned in my overall favorites post, and it's not, strictly speaking, all angst (to quote the writer: "this is about being sad and middle-aged, but it's also about being so happy and middle-aged!") It's not even J/P: it's mostly Paul/George, and their relationship is beautiful and real. Still, as a reader I was aching for the other life that could have been, and that is woven through the events of this story with incredible artistry: the Beatles, which everyone misses without knowing why. The great love between John and Paul that ended when John chose someone else. This is the magic of RPF: reality is the shadow event included for free. (Unfinished, with have all four n on-Beatles POV's. So far: George and Ringo.)

[fandomxpreferences]

The Endless Darkness and Mystery of the Ocean Is Becoming A Bit Tempting To Dive Into Now

Masterlist

Pairing: Ex!John B Routledge x female!reader, JJ Maybank x female!reader (all over 18)

TW:18+ smut, piv. unprotected sex. size kink(?), squirting, drug use, angst, violence, brief mention of blood,I think thats it

Summary: After ending things with one of your best friends, you see JJ in whole new light. the problem is you can't tell John B, but everything comes to light eventually. (Based on this request)

Word Count:4.4k

A/N: please excuse any typos, its 2 am and im delirious. also I couldn't choose between these gifs so have them both

Ever since the breakup things have been… tense, to say the least. You've been friends with the pogues since you could walk; they're like your family. 

A year ago, your relationship with John B blossomed into something more and up until last month, the two of you had been a picture-perfect couple. 

However, after everything with the treasure hunt and deserted island, something just changed. Your heart wasn't in it anymore, and John B agreed. Though it was mutual, it still put a strain on the group. 

It's not like a normal breakup where you don't have to see each other anymore. Your entire friend group is shared, and you still have to hang out with him every day. It's getting easier, but how do you recover when you went from best friends to lovers and back again?

Walking away obviously isn't an option for either of you, so you're just trying to make the best of the situation. 

You've found solace in JJ, the two of you growing even closer in the midst of your heartache. Which is exactly how you found yourself sitting at the end of the dock passing a joint back and forth. 

The two of you have been laughing hysterically at nothing for the past hour when JJ suddenly goes quiet. You look over with a frown and find the man staring off into space. You wave your hand in front of his face with a small giggle. 

"Earth to JJ. Anybody there?"

It's lighthearted, but his face is dangerously serious when he turns to look at you. 

"I liked you first, you know." 

The words hang in the air, thick and heavy as they register in your hazy mind. 

"No, I don't know. What the hell are you talking about?" 

You're genuinely confused at the random confession. You'd be lying if you said you don't find JJ attractive, but you never thought he'd see you in that light. He lets out an exasperated huff as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. 

"I liked you before John B. That's why we made up the whole 'no pogue on pogue macking' rule. We found out we both wanted you, so instead of fighting, we made a truce and promised not to pursue it. I kept my word, he didn't."

He takes another hit of the joint and blows it toward the night sky, a thick white cloud dissipating in front of his face. He doesn't seem to realize the gravity of what he just said, but you feel like you're suffocating. 

JJ liked you so much that they made up a rule?

"JJ.."

Your voice is soft as you reach out to grab his hand and his eyes dart down to where your flesh touches his. 

"It's fine, Bambi. You didn't know, it's in the past now."

Your heart clenches at the nickname only he's allowed to use, and suddenly you feel tears sting your eyes. He's called you that since you were kids, your habit of falling and bumping into things earning you the fitting moniker. 

"Is it?" You whisper, and you notice his breath catch. 

That's all the answer you need and without thinking, you lean forward. He stares at you with wide eyes but doesn't pull back. 

The moment your lips touch you realize how stupid you've been. Things were great with John B, you have chemistry and history, but it never felt like this. Electricity crackles under your skin, every nerve feeling like a live wire threatening to electrocute you. 

He stiffens for a moment before succumbing to the sensation of your mouth massaging his. He's dreamed about this since seventh grade, and you're so much sweeter than he ever could have imagined.

The kiss deepens and you moan quietly as the taste of mint, beer, and weed mingles on your tastebuds.

He pulls away to breathe and you chase his lips, desperate to feel them again. Kissing him is like you were brought to life, suddenly aware of how dull the world has been all these years. 

You didn't know what you had been missing, and now that you do, you're not sure you can make peace with not having it. 

Your eyes slowly flutter open to find JJ already staring at you, and your fingers brush against the soft pink skin as if to make sure it's still there. His eyes are filled with love and lust, pupils blown, and you know he felt it too. 

It's late, most likely early morning by now, and the rest of the group went to bed hours ago. You look around to make sure no one is watching, the only illumination coming from the moon and white Christmas lights strung around the wood railing. 

As soon as you know you won't be caught, you lunge forward and JJ instantly wraps his arms around your waist. You can feel his muscles bulge as he maneuvers himself on top of you, his lips ravishing yours like a man starved. 

Your movements are rushed and hasty, the idea of being seen looming over the two of you like a dark cloud. You lean your head back as his mouth moves down to your neck, the feeling nothing short of euphoric. 

His lips are so soft, a stark contrast to the rough calloused texture of his hands as they roam under your shirt. He moves quickly, pulling down your bikini top and brushing his thumbs over your perked nipples. 

Time seems to move at warp speed and in slow motion simultaneously as he unbuttons your shorts; your own hands moving down to his swim trunks. You can feel he's hard already, and he lets out a low groan when your slender fingers wrap around his thick cock. 

Even without seeing him, you can tell he's bigger than John B.

The denim stings your freshly shaved legs as he drags them down the tan skin, a deep moan reverberating in his throat as he takes in the sight of your half-naked body below him. He stops abruptly and you look at him, concern written on your features. 

"I don't have a condom."

You bite back a smartass remark about JJ Maybank not keeping a rubber in his pocket and settle instead for nipping at his Adam's apple. 

"I'm on birth control."

He seems to like your response as he drops his head into the crook of your neck and rubs his tip through your folds to spread the wetness. Under different circumstances, you'd beg to taste him. But now is not the time, and you're certain you'll get the chance later. 

He looks to you for confirmation, and you give it with a short nod. 

You hiss as he pushes in an inch, the burning sensation as he stretches your heat taking you by surprise. You'd never had this problem with John B. 

"I know, sweet girl. You can take it, I promise. I'll go slow." 

He's speaking through clenched teeth and you know he's exercising a painful amount of restraint. He pulls back and pushes in a little more, repeating the movement a few times as you adjust to his size. 

You gasp loudly at the feeling of being full, your eyes rolling back as he hits a spot you didn't know you had. 

"Almost, baby. You're doing so good."

Your eyes snap open and peer into his, a look of sheer bewilderment on your face. 

"That's not all of it?"

You don't think about the absurdity of the question until a playful smirk breaks out on JJ's face and your head rolls back in embarrassment. 

With one more short thrust, you feel his hips meet yours and breathe a sigh of relief.

He stays still for a moment, waiting for your cue, which you give him in the form of lifting your hips. 

He starts at a slow pace, testing the waters, and your mouth drops open. You briefly feel guilt over the fact you never let John B hit it raw, despite his incessant begging, but the thought is quickly erased. 

You can feel every single inch of JJ, and your mind goes completely blank. He takes this as a good sign and speeds up a bit. His arm wraps around your hips, angling you up, and you let out a sharp whine at the new feeling. 

He's pounding into you relentlessly now, each sharp thrust slamming his pelvis against your clit, and loud mewls rip from your throat each time he makes contact. You feel his hand cover your mouth to quiet you, but it doesn't do much to stifle the sheer volume of you screaming his name. 

"As much as I love hearing those pretty sounds, and my name rolling off your tongue, you need to be quiet before you wake John B up. Can you do that for me, Bambi?"

His voice is strained, and the thought that you're the cause has delicious white hot heat bubbling in your abdomen. You nod against his palm and he resumes his brutal fucking. 

It's not long before you feel the coil in your belly threatening to snap, and JJ knows you're close by the way your legs tremble and your chest arches into his. 

The hand that was over your mouth drops down to where the two of you meet, and he rubs fast circles on your clit. You try desperately to silence yourself, your teeth drawing blood from your bottom lip as you clamp down. 

JJ stops and removes his hand just long enough to push your shirt up so it's in your mouth before resuming his assault. 

"Come on, Y/N. Let me feel you squeeze my cock. I'm dying to know what that pretty face looks like when you come."

The sound of him growling your name pushes you over the edge and your body convulses as pleasure you've never experienced before rips through your body. Every muscle seems to contract as your vision goes white and your fingers and toes tingle from the intensity of it all. 

JJ fucks you through it, your own release triggering his as your pussy squeezes him with a vice-like grip he knows he'll feel for weeks. He paints your walls with a loud grunt, his face contorted beautifully from the force of his orgasm. 

It takes you longer than usual to come down, your lingering high amplifying even the slightest sensation. You slowly feel your breathing calm down, and peel your eyes open to find a spent JJ staring down at you in wonder. 

"There she is. You did so well, take some deep breaths for me okay? I don't need you hyperventilating and passing out on me." 

You smile tiredly at the comedic relief, your body going completely limp as you regain feeling. You lay there and consider just sleeping outside as JJ pulls out carefully and starts cleaning you up. 

"Do you usually do that?" 

Your eyebrows furrow as you will your limbs to work. 

"Do what?" 

There's a brief pause before he answers, and when he does your eyes snap open. 

"Squirt. Because it was the hottest thing I've ever seen and I kind of want to make you do it again."

Your body seems to kick into gear as you prop up on your elbows, and you stare at him in shock. 

"Uh no, not really. I didn't even know I could do that." 

You don't miss the victorious smile on his face, no doubt happy that he finally beat John B to something. You can't help but match his expression when his dimple pops out and he plops down next to you. 

Neither of you says anything as you bask in the afterglow but you know you're both thinking the same thing. There's no coming back from this. 

"Is it weird that it didn't feel weird?" You wonder quietly and his head flops to the side to observe your face.

"No, I don't think so. It kind of felt like something we should have been doing the whole time."

You breathe a sigh of relief and nod. 

"I'm glad you said that, because I'd be super fucking bummed if we never did that again."

His bubbly laugh fills your ears and you lace your fingers through his gently. Another silence falls, and you're just about to stand when JJ speaks again. 

"We can't tell John B, or anybody for that matter. Not for a while at least. We have to keep this on the down low."

There's a tinge of sadness in his voice and you nod solemnly. 

"I know." 

The next three months continue with you and JJ hooking up anytime you get the chance. It's not easy having to sneak around, especially when you're never alone. Making up excuses and cover stories is getting harder, and you know the group is getting suspicious. 

One night after you managed a quickie, JJ is sitting out by the fire with John B just chatting when everything comes to a screeching halt. 

"Why so glum?" JJ teases, and John B takes a long swig of his beer. 

He's been staring blankly at the flames for twenty minutes now, and the silence is starting to irritate JJ. 

"I'm still in love with her and I don't know how to stop."

John B's voice is barely audible, but JJ hears him crystal clear. In a matter of seconds, the guilt of his secret relationship with you crushes him and bile rises in his throat. 

It's not just hooking up anymore, the two of you have developed real feelings and made it exclusive. Meanwhile, as he's living in bliss, his best friend is still torn up about you. 

"I didn't realize it was that serious. I thought the breakup was mutual." 

JJ tries to best to conceal his rapid breathing as he chokes on air, and it seems to work as John B releases a bitter laugh.

"I didn't want her to feel bad. What was I supposed to do when she said she wanted to end it? Confess my undying love and guilt her into staying?" 

JJ doesn't have a response to that as his mind is sent reeling. Two best friends, both in love with their other best friend. How the fuck does he always get himself into these impossible situations?

He tries not to think about the fact your cum is dried on his boxers or that there's still an imprint from your lipstick smeared on his cock. He feels like John B can sense the pictures of him fucking you on his phone, and gets the urge to chuck it in the ocean.

"You just need to get laid, bro. She'll be off your mind in no time." 

It's all he can muster before standing and basically sprinting into the chateau. He feels bad leaving his friend in a time of need, but he was choking like a fish out of water.

He knows it's bullshit. He's absolutely certain that after having you, he would never be able to move on. Not fully. 

How could he when he's felt your loving touch and let you into the deepest corners of his heart? It's even worse to know that John B is in love with you when your heart is reserved solely for him now.

His feet carry him to you instantly, and the look on his face has you following him into the guest room without question. That seems to be a new ability he's gained since dating you. He always knows where you are, like his heart and body can sense you before his mind does. 

"What going on?" 

You cup his cheek the way you always do, and he leans into your touch. Normally it would bring him comfort, but hurt shoots through your chest when he seems to realize what he's doing and recoils. 

"Did you know he's in love with you?" 

The question takes you by surprise, and you try to get caught up to speed. 

"Who? What are you talking about?"

His hand runs through his hair as he turns around, and he just as quickly whips back to face you. 

"John B!" His voice is just below yelling and he lowers to a harsh whisper when he realizes. 

"JB just told me he's still in love with you, Y/N."

You shake your head in disbelief and pace back and forth a few times before stopping. 

"JJ, we never even said I love you. It's been months, why would he still have feelings for me?" 

Despite dating for a year, you could never bring yourself to say the words. You do love John B, but you could never figure out why you weren't in love with him. It didn't make sense, not until you fell for JJ.

You're nearing panic as you resume pacing and JJ throws his hands up. 

"Y/N, have you seen yourself? Who wouldn't be in love with you?" 

You stop all of a sudden and turn slowly to look at your boyfriend. 

"What?"

His brain seems to lag for a moment and you catch the exact millisecond he realizes what he said. 

"No, I- I didn't me-" 

You cut him off with two strides forward and he shrinks under your intense gaze. 

"No, you asked who wouldn't be in love with me. Are you in love with me?" 

He lets out a frustrated groan and rubs his hand down his tired face. 

"Don't change the subject." 

You scoff and quirk an eyebrow, suddenly much more interested in the man standing a mere six inches away from you. 

"I'm not. You're the one who said it. So what's the answer? I'm not letting it go.

He ponders his options for a second before relenting. He knows you, and he knows that you will get an answer come hell or high water. 

"Yes, okay? But now is not the time, so can we please put a pin in it?"

You smile brightly and kiss his cheek before standing flat on your feet again. 

"Fine. For the record, I'm in love with you too. So what are we going to do?"

You can't help but think how cute he looks as the wheels turn in his head, and he gives a playful glare as you stare at him with heart eyes. 

"Don't look at me like that, baby. We can't tell him, not now." 

Your shoulders drop as you deflate. You know he's right, but it still sucks. 

"I'm tired of hiding us." You murmur and JJ's features soften as he pulls you into a tight hug. 

"Me too, but we have to be careful about this. Just a little bit longer, okay?"

He kisses the top of your head as you nod against his shoulder and pull back. The two of you compose yourselves, hiding any sign of affection, before trekking back out to the rest of the group. 

A month later, you're all sitting around the bonfire after a kegger; a little too much alcohol coursing through your systems. You've settled into a game of truth or dare, loud laughs being shared as you all do ridiculous tasks and share secrets. 

You're sitting across from JJ and he shoots you a wink when it's your turn. 

"Okay Y/N, truth or dare?" Sarah asks and you press your finger to your chin pretending to think for a second before answering.

"Truth."

You instantly regret it as she gets a mischievous glint in her eyes. 

Her and John B have gotten cozier since his confession last month and you're glad he's finally moving on. The problem is since you've both experienced a relationship with him, it opens you up to a whole new level of personal questions. 

"Where's the craziest place you've had sex?"

You don't catch the smirk on John B's face as he takes a sip from his cup, thinking about the time you fucked on the open beach. He's sure that's your answer, and he almost chokes when you respond with something different. 

"Either on the hood of a police car or on a motorcycle." 

Your answer is immediate and you don't give it a second thought before spitting it out. It doesn't occur to you that your ex is sitting five feet away and that it most definitely wasn't with him; or that he knows you only had sex one other time before him in the bathroom at a party. 

You don't realize that you just told him you've hooked up with someone since the breakup, and you don't see the way JJ tenses as your words linger in the air.

Sarah barks out a surprised laugh while raising her cup to cheers you. 

"Who knew you were such a daredevil."

John B certainly didn't. You're about to move on when Kie interjects. 

"Wait,"

JJs eyes squeeze shut when he realizes what's coming. This is terrible timing and the second worst way for the secret to be revealed. The only thing that could top this is being caught red-handed. 

"JJ, didn't you tell me you hooked up with a girl on top of a cop car like three months ago?" 

His mouth opens and shuts a few times as he fumbles for words while Pope adds fuel to the already scorching fire.

"Hold up, you told me you fucked a girl on your dirt bike two weeks ago." 

As soon as he says it, JJ wishes the ground would swallow him whole. He could have passed one off as a coincidence, but both? It's not exactly common to hook up in those locations, and he knows you're caught. 

His silence and your beet red face only confirm the suspicions, as realization dawns on everybody at the same time. 

"Holy shit." Kie mutters and you don't dare look at John B as his eyes bore into the side of your face. 

"Are you fucking kidding me?" His voice is laced with venom and you wince, instantly kicking yourself for your lapse in judgment. 

Everybody jumps to their feet and your head spins as chaos breaks out. You're decidedly too drunk and not drunk enough for this and evaporating into thin air seems like a good idea right about now. 

"He's my best fucking friend! You left me so you could fuck him? Since when are you a homie hopping whore?" 

He's screaming now as Pope and Kie hold him back, and you look like a deer caught in headlights as tears pour down your cheeks. To her credit, Sarah is comforting you despite the conflict of interest and you're eternally grateful. 

You drop your cup and gasp as JJ lunges forward, slamming into John B and tackling him to the ground. 

"Don't fucking speak to her like that!" 

His voice is hoarse as it booms from his throat and John B just laughs. 

"What are you gonna do? Hit me? She's gonna get tired of you too, man. Before you know she's played you, she'll be on her knees for Pope." 

JJ's fist collides against his nose with a sickening crack and you barely register your own voice as you scream for him to stop. 

Much to your surprise, the blonde listens and is standing in front of you in an instant. Johns B's blood is on his knuckles and he cups your face tenderly as your friends tend to your wounded ex. 

"How long?" John B coughs, and your eyes meet his over JJ's shoulder. 

You can see the sheer hurt and betrayal and your stomach lurches. You never meant for any of this to happen. 

"Four months." 

Your answer is simple, yet John B looks like he's been shot. 

"Un-fucking-believable. How could you do this?" 

Your heart breaks as his voice cracks and JJ hates the anguish in your usually bright eyes. 

"Hey, we don't have to do this right now." 

You shake your head and step around him, coming face to face with your lifelong best friend. 

"I didn't mean for this to happen, or for you to find out like this. Please, John B. I love him." 

He physically recoils as the words ring out, and your knees wobble as they threaten to give out. 

"I can't do this. You can't have us both." 

He knows it isn't fair, but despite his growing feelings for Sarah, the idea of watching you be happy with a man thats like his brother makes him nauseous.

"Don't make me choose, John B." 

You feel JJ's hand rest on the curve of your lower spine and subconsciously lean into him. 

"Why? Because you'll choose him?"

He looks ill as he speaks and you slowly nod your head. 

"Yeah. I choose him." 

You mean it with all your heart, yet the words still taste like acid as they leave your tongue. This is exactly what you didn't want. 

John B stays glued in place, his eyes raking over your face searching for any sign of doubt or deceit. When he finds none, his heart shatters all over again. 

He knows he should leave, that he should stand his ground and never look back. But this isn't just anybody. This is two of his best friends in the entire world, and he doesn't have to ask JJ to know he'd choose you too. 

He can't bring himself to walk away, and his eyes squeeze shut as reality sets in. 

"I'll get over it." 

He doesn't entirely believe himself as his voice shakes, but he's going to try. He's got a good thing with Sarah, and if you can be happy for him then he should try to be happy for you. If he loves you, he'll let you go. 

You swallow thickly as you take a hesitant step forward and JJ resists the urge to pull you back. 

"Pogues for life?" You ask quietly and he nods. 

"Pogues for life." 

Sarah and Kie take this as their chance and pull you inside, leaving the three men outside alone. JJ shifts his weight, hands wringing nervously as he anticipates John Bs next move.

"Hurt her and I kill you." 

JJ gives a mock salute and watches as John B turns hastily to walk to the end of the pier. Pope looks at him with raised eyebrows and JJ gives him a pointed glare. 

"Don't."

Pope raises his hands in surrender with a smug smile. 

"Wasnt gonna. We all kind of knew besides John B anyway." He admits and JJ tosses his cup at him. 

"Asshole."

@disturbedbeautywrites

[babygirlhangman]

cookies & milk

synopsis: You and "Hangman" ran into each other at the commissary, you were trying to reach for your favorite cookies while he admired your determination from down the aisle. 

word count: 2,848

warnings: size difference, food, there's a cat, and walking? let me know if I missed anything

a/n: so this is my first post! I promise they'll get better. I hope you guys like it! there will be a part 2 but I'm working on some other stuff as well. let me know what you think & my requests are open :)

"Almost got it.." I felt my tongue dart out between my lips as I entered a state of intense focus, taking a step up onto the lowest shelf I stretched my arm up above me. My hands grazed the small box of chocolate chips cookies that had been my most recent obsession. For the past week and in an attempt to mask the emotional turmoil I was in, they had been my only friend.

Finally my hand had a grasp on the small box and I took a step back down onto the ground. Smiling to myself I felt a sense of great accomplishment and put the box into the cart. It was not the first time I had to do that, I've been lacking in the height department for most of my life.

Most jeans were too long for my legs, the trendy oversized shirts were like dresses on me and unfortunately I could not walk in any form of heels. So, I improvised and it worked out for me most of the time. 

Looking back down at my list, I mentally crossed off cookies and carried on looking for the next item which was - pasta noodles. Another item that kept me frequent company because if there was one thing I couldn't live without it was pasta. 

"Good work back there," I looked at the only other person in the aisle with me and gave a small smile as a way of acknowledging his comment. I was not good at talking to people so I kept walking in hopes that he wouldn't bother me anymore. People terrified me and sadly no matter how hard I tried I usually fell short of talking like a functioning human being. 

I've always been sort of awkward but I was also comfortable with who I was, it was a sort of "no one is you and that is your power" situation. 

"Are they that good?" I looked over at the officer once more, finally taking in his rank and features. He was very attractive but it wasn't just his looks, he radiated a strong confidence I saw often only from those in the military. They had this sort of confidence and ego that most people wouldn't understand or have.

However, as much it usually intimidated or annoyed me - there was a sort of warm, inviting sort of aura about him. 

"Uh, mostly. You have to dip them in milk and then they're perfect." Never good at maintaining eye contact I looked down at the box of cookies that lay in the center of my mostly bare cart. Other than bananas and some everything bagels, the cookies were the only sort of sweet I had been craving lately. 

"Hmm, noted. Thanks." 

"Welcome," looking to the tall Lieutenant I gave him another small smile while still avoiding direct eye contact. 

Taking that as the end of the conversation I carried on walking hoping that this social encounter would be it for the rest of my week. 

The rest of my shopping went by uneventful and I got out of the store fairly quickly despite the far too many minutes I spent trying to figure out ice cream flavor I wanted. 

"Excuse me, ma'am." Embarrassingly enough I jumped at the sudden voice directly behind me as I loaded my bags into the car. 

I turned to face the same officer from earlier with a hand to my chest, hoping it would ease my racing heart. 

"Jeez, you scared me." With the close proximity, I had to look up just to see that his eyes were a very pretty shade of green. 

"Sorry," he let out a soft laugh and then I was blinded by the brightest smile I'd seen in my entire life. This was not an exaggeration I mean come on this guy had to use whitening strips. 

"Just wanted to catch you before I never saw you again. Here you go." Looking down at where his hand was held out I saw the biggest bag of gummy bears you could probably buy legally. 

"Oh, thanks." Instinctively I grabbed the bag trying to avoid touching his hand with my own. "What's this for?"

"Well, I figured I'd offer you my favorite snack since you recommended yours." 

"Oh, well I never said the cookies were my favorite snack."

Yes they'd been my obsession for the past week or so but I wasn't sure I could ever pick a favorite snack. Most food brought me some comfort it just depended on my mood and why I needed to feel better.

"Right, well this way it's like we're even."

"Okay." Was anyone else sweating? Why did I feel so nervous?

"Um, I have to get going but hey could I get your number maybe? We could further discuss what your favorite snacks are?"

Typically I would be more weirded out but this is what one would call pretty privilege. He was just too pretty for me to say no to. 

"Sure."

After I entered my contact into his phone he said bye while I did some sort of awkwardnwave in return and finished putting my groceries into the car. The drive home was short and after I unloaded the car I decided to take a shower before I started dinner. 

-----

My phone vibrated next to me on the couch, looking away from the tv I saw that it was an unsaved number. 

It was the Lieutenant from the commissary.

How are the gummy bears?

I could tell him the truth or I could not because the truth was I hadn't even tried them yet. I mean gummy bears were gummy bears, didn't they all taste the same? 

Not sure, haven't had a chance to try them. How are the cookies?

Locking my phone and placing it back down onto the cushion I turned my attention back to the movie. I'd been watching the saddest movies I could find for the past week, ever since he decided I wasn't what he was looking for. 

Or maybe it was because it had been the first breakup I've had since the summer after senior year. But in truth maybe you couldn't even call it a breakup because I don't think it had ever been official, not for either of us.

I was fine by myself most of the time though, typically I enjoyed it but lately it felt harder to accept the fact that I was getting older and life was fleeting. 

At the feeling of my phone next to me, I was pulled from the gravity that was my never-ending thoughts on why I was alone. 

Gummy bear guy: Forgot to grab milk. 

It showed he was still typing so I waited before trying to think of reply. It was amusing though that he had forgotten the most important part of eating a cookie. 

Gummy bear guy: Maybe I could borrow some?

"Hm," bringing my lip between my teeth I thought about wether I should say yes or no. I mean when would he need the milk? Couldn't he just go to the store? Of course he could.. 

Depends. How do you feel about almond milk?

There was a reply almost immediately. 

Gummy bear guy: Another favorite, I'll take it

Okay, how do you want to do this exchange?

Gummy bear guy: Exchange? What did you want in return?

Shit, what should I say? Ask him if he wants to see a movie? No, that's too forward, you barely knew this man. Just think of something..

Take a walk with me?

Send.

Ugh, this was horrendous. I didn't know what to say, I don't even know why I called it an exchange. Mostly I had just meant to ask when he wanted the milk but now it was too late to go back. 

Staring at the chat I decided to lock the phone and threw it under the couch pillow taking residence next to me. 

"Maybe he didn't actually want the milk? What do you think?" Running my hand along Fox's back, I wondered what the cat would say if he could talk. Maybe he'd tell me to stop overthinking something so simple.

At the sound of another buzz I darted my hand to the phone, in a manner that was all too urgent that I felt ashamed of myself. 

Gummy bear guy: I would love to. When and where?

In an hour? My place. 

Gummy bear guy: See you then.

Well, that was great. Now I had to spend the next sixty minutes worrying if this was a bad idea or not. I mean this was not typical for me to just invite someone I'd met the same day to my house. Not even someone I'd met a week ago but maybe it was the recent "breakup" that had me throwing away all inhibition.

----

Walking to the door I ran my hands through my hair and checked my shirt just in case, taking a breath I turned the knob. 

He stood there in the shortest gym shorts I have ever seen on a man and boy did it bring heat to my cheeks. The outlines of his muscular legs were like flames to the very center of me. As my eyes trailed up along the forest green shirt I realized I was significantly out of this man's league. 

Once my eyes finally reached his, even more blood rushed to my face and I knew then that I had be caught just goggling at this man. 

And if the glint in his eyes didn't make it obvious then it was all too perfect smirk. 

"Hi." my voice was meek and I was still holding onto the door handle so hard that my knuckles were white. 

"Hi, guess I should introduce myself, huh? I'm Jake." He held out his large hand and my eyes trailed along his tan arm all the way back up to his eyes once more before I set my very small hand in his. 

There was about a foot in height difference that made it necessary for me to look up but again, this was something I was used to. 

"I'm y/n. Nice to meet you, officially." With closed lips I gave him a small smile and pulled my hand back from his. The loss of warmth did not go unnoticed by me but I didn't let myself think too much about it. 

"Beautiful name for a beautiful woman," Did someone say 'Action' for a fainting scene? because here I go. 

And yes, my susceptibility to cheesy words did not escape me. 

"Thanks. So, walk or cookies first?" I was not great at accepting compliments so I needed to get out of this intense sort of atmosphere he was creating or that my hormones were creating. 

"Walk or else my stomach will hurt." I couldn't help the small laugh that escaped my throat at his confession.

"Understandable. Let me just grab my water."

Turning to grab my water bottle and lock the door behind me I walked down the few short steps to the sidewalk with him right by my side. 

I wasn't inexperienced in the guy department, or maybe I was but I was also just a naturally awkward person and was not great at creating conversation. So, all I was hoping for was that he understood that. 

And he had, he seemed okay with the times I remained quiet instead he kept talking. Somehow I think he knew I was more of a listener and maybe that worked for him because he did seem to enjoy talking. 

I learned that he was at Top Gun, which was very impressive and that his call sign was Hangman. He didn't exactly elaborate on why but I figured he would have told me if he wanted to so I didn't push. He also informs me that he served in the War in Afghanistan but again he didn't elaborate on much beyond that so I didn't push. 

He asked me questions about what I did and I told him I was in the Marine Corps and worked in Logistics, that I had been in California for the last year. 

Then he asked how old I was and I was hesitant to answer because I was also aware of the fact that he had to be a good bit older than me and didn't want that to scare him away.

"Twenty-three. You?" Looking to my right I watched his face for any sort of reaction but there was none, just him replying that he was thirty-three. 

Well that was only a decade difference. Could be worse?

Once we finally reached my door I quickly unlocked it and welcomed him inside, apologized about the mess and showed him where the restroom was. 

"Hi Fox baby." Seeing the orange cat rub across my calf I reached down to pick up the fluffy baby. "I missed you."

Yes, I had only been gone a total of 25 minutes but that was like months in cat time right? 

"That is a very cute cat, almost as cute as his mama." Not having heard Jake open the bathroom door I turned to look at him standing in the archway of the hallway. It would have been clear that I was blushing but I looked into his eyes nonetheless and gave him a smile. 

He was good at this. Whatever this was.

"Thanks, he doesn't like to show it but he loves when I baby him." Giving him one more kiss atop his soft head I set Fox down on the ground. Not knowing who Jake was he runs off and hides under the throw blanket that rests on the couch. What a baby.

"I'm sure he does." Walking away from the wall he stopped only a few feet in front of me. "Just realized I forgot the cookies."

"Of course you did." I laugh a little bit at the fact that this man could fly jets yet couldn't remember a box of cookies. 

"Luckily we have mine." I moved to walk around him but I couldn't help when my arm rubbed against his as I passed his side. 

-----

"Tell me something no one else knows." Jake had taken residence next to me on the couch with Fox between. Fox had made it his mission to have Jake never stop rubbing the spot behind his ear and to say this cat was spoiled would be an understatement. 

"Uh, like what?" 

"Anything you want."

I had no idea what to tell him and honestly for the most part I was an open book, you just had to ask the right questions. 

"I used to write fan fiction about the members of One Direction when I was fifteen." 

"Oh wow, that's- that's great for me then." 

"Why?" We were both laughing a little now at my embarrassing confession but it felt good. 

"I've always wanted to date a writer." 

"Really? Even one that's in love with Harry Styles?"

"Especially one that loves Harry."

We laughed over it a little bit more and finally got to talking about what he did before Top Gun and that he should be leaving for a mission soon. 

It was around ten at night when he said he should get going but asked if I'd want to hang out again sometime this week. I said yes before I got up to walk him to the door, much to the dissatisfaction of Fox who didn't ever not want rubs. 

"You'll be fine you big baby." I told the cat as Jake and I walked to the door. 

"I'll see you again soon Fox, don't worry." Jake turned to face me after stepping onto the porch while I stayed in the doorway. 

"And you, I'll see you again too, right?" If I didn't know any better I would say that there was a hopeful, hesitant look in his green eyes that told me if I said no he might actually be disappointed. 

"Yes, if that's what you want." 

"Of course. I'd be lucky to any amount of time with you." Jake had just about the sweetest smile I've ever seen in my life that I felt frozen at his words. "I'll call you then, we can figure out the details."

"Sure." Giving him a smile in return I waited for him to turn to leave but I was stunned when he reach forward to wrap his arms around me. 

Ugh, he smelled incredible. Like soft forest grass and spice. 

Saying bye was hard but I couldn't help the giddy feeling that didn't leave me all night until I went to sleep. I wasn't sure where this would go and I wasn't sure if it could even happen. The hard reality was that he was technically my superior officer and if anyone found out we were anything more than.. whatever we were. We would both get in trouble. 

Halfway asleep I heard my phone go off before I grabbed it off the nightstand table. 

Gummy bear guy: Beach, with me - tomorrow? 

[thotsforvillainrights]

Spinner, Kai, and Geten with a lady dimitrescu type bodied s/o but besides big booba they're also very muscular and strong?

(Realized I won’t get anything done by waiting on the perfect time. After working my new job for 2 weeks I think the perfect time to write is when I force myself to get back into the flow. That being said, let me take care of some of these asks finally. And I apologize for the wait!)

~Spinner~

-”Whoa” are his exact words when you first meet with him. Then he spends the next 3 minutes trying to apologize in case he might’ve came off as rude for his unsolicited comment. He’s awkward and fumbles a lot of the stuff he says to you from now on but it’s just because he likes you so much. That’s why he feels like his breath has been taken straight from his body when you ask him out first. Now, a couple of months into the relationship, and he still feels like he’s falling in love with you all over again during each and every new day. Even if your body wasn’t the way it was, he’d still feel the same about you. It’s just a plus that you’re tall and attractive. Not to mention strong and muscular too? It’s a killer combo that serves as a knockout for anyone in your path. If he can get past the consistent fluttering of butterflies in his stomach then maybe he can try to impress you for once instead of it being the other way around?

~Overhaul~

-Feels a little weaker when it comes to you so you should know he’s going to try and show off a tiny bit when it comes to the early days of your relationship. He’s used to being the big bad, so when you show him up in strength (and height) he feels a little odd about it. This is since you’re his partner as it has nothing much to do with the others (see Rappa and Katsukame). He’ll eventually get over it since he cares so deeply for you. It can tend to be frustrating for him sometimes when he feels the need to protect you. It’s not exactly the safest to be dating a gang leader after all. But he gets shaken up when he realizes you don’t need him to protect you as much as he thought you would. Aside from this, he adores you and your body and tries to let you know this as respectfully as he possibly can. However, he sometimes feels a little hot under the collar when his eyes linger on you a little longer than usual. He’s a gentleman to a degree, but when you have the frame that you do?...well, it’s a lot less easier to control his thoughts when around you.

~Geten~

-You two side by side are quite the sight to see. You may bring a few chuckles or curious eyes, but it usually last no longer than a couple of seconds before Geten scares them away with his aggressive look. He’s got no qualms with you being taller or stronger than him (this is especially true if the cause behind it is your meta ability). As long as you still let him take the lead in most things within the relationship and you don’t make him feel as though he’s inferior to you, then he’s just fine with most things. In all honesty, he’s probably rather attracted to your body. He’s probably somewhat into your strength as well. This is considering the fact that he bases a LOT of societal importance on the strength one has. You can expect him to offer a sparing match with you here and there. It’s totally up to you to deny or accept his offer! 

[randomjreader]

YOUNG ROYALS SEASON 2 SPOILERS AHEAD, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Alright, I decided to split watching season 2 into two parts, so this is me dumping out all my feelings for the first 3 episodes of yr2.

Ya know, I really expected that fire Sara set to be a bigger thing than it was, but I'm glad it wasn't

Ok, OK BUT WILLE IS HITTING RLLY DIFFERENT THIS SEASON AND IM HERE FOR IT, THE WAY HE MADE AUGUST CALL HIM "YOUR HIGHNESS?" 👀👀 Respectfully, that was attractive as hell, he is attractive as hell this season

"I got a haircut" Aw Wille 😭 you're trying 😭

Nils is one of us? NILS IS ONE OF US 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

SIMON IS SO FUCKING CUTE THE WAY HE WAS SO DAMN HAPPY TO GET THAT SOLO?? MY HEART Y'ALL, MY HEART

Wille is taking NO SHIT AND IM HERE FOR IT, I'm loving this new royally assertive Wille honestly like YES KING LET AUGUST TREMBLE UNDER UR FEET

Ok...but I do feel sorry for August watching that scene with him and Sara, is that bad? (Also...Sara??? 👀)

I love my boys, I do, but I'm with Simon on the space thing. Wille did hurt him, so he deserves to want some distance

WILLE LOSING IT AT THE ROYAL FAMILY AND STANDING HIS GROUND YES!! GO FERAL WILLE I SUPPORT IT

Ok but it's so crazy to me that I'm not even halfway through episode 2 and I feel like everyth in the trailer has already been shown like damn, there's still more???

Ok, are we supposed to be rooting for Kristina or not? Like it kind of feels like she's trying to be supportive? But it's also not done in the best way? And I get where she's coming from, but I also don't agree with it all that much? Idk, she conflicts me. She says she doesn't care that he likes guys but do we believe her? Or is this just for show?

Feeling a lil bad for Marcus tbh, it does seem like he rlly likes Simon, but Simon is clearly only looking for a rebound

Oh??? August being called in by the queen??? Is she finally gonna defend Wille and hold August accountable??

NO WILLE PUT SIMON'S PHONE DOWN DON'T DO THAT

Ok, I fucking ADORE Wille and Felice's frnship, it's so pure and good 😭 I love that despite Felice's crush on him in the past they were able to get over it and be real frns. Plus showing a positive and platonic boy-girl frnship with no romantic drama? Hell yes

Erik was in therapy too??? Ahhh I rlly wish he was still alive it wld have been so cool to explore him as a character

ALSO, absolutely loving that they're rlly going in depth about Wille's struggles with anxiety this season, I mean they did do that last season too but he's talking abt it with someone this season

Ah yes, the expected happened. August and Sara slept tgt

Is August being better this season? I do see him doing some good things, like the way he tried to stand up for the team when Vincent made them run 17km, and sorta standing up for Simon. Are we getting a redemption arc? Idk how I feel bout that tbh

AUGUST WAS MADE NEXT IN LINE??? WHAT?

WILLE AND FELICE HOLDING EACH OTHER 😭😭 I'm so soft for them stop

WHAT THE FUCK?! NEVER FUCKING MIND I SPOKE WAY TOO FUCKING SOON NONONONONONO WHAT DID THEY DO TO FELICE AND WILLE NOOOOOOO

WHY, WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY DID THEY HAVE TO KISS? I WAS ROOTING FOR MY PLATONIC FELICE-WILLE PAIRING!! AND FELICE KNOWS ITS NOT RIGHT TOO SHE DID BACK OFF FOR A LITTLE BIT

THEY BOTH KNOW WILLE IS STILL OBSESSED WITH SIMON THEY BOTH KNOW THAT AIN'T RIGHT AND NOW MY LIL PLATONIC PAIRING HAS BEEN TAINTED Y'ALL IM IN PAIN

How am I supposed to last this next 3 episodes? What is going on? My head is spinning I'm just djakdbamndjdjdjsjdnd

[mystic-monkey-express]

👨‍👩‍👦-Hyousuke, Yoshino

🤔-Minori

🎲-Jun

(/◕ヮ◕)/:･ﾟ☆✧

This is a week late but in my defense 1. It wasn't friday 2. Brain full of pudding RIP

Hyousuke Fujimura

👪 - What’s their relationship with their parents like?

Hahahahahahaa what a question to ask for Hyousuke this is a great ask. So him and his mother are on okay grounds with each other. While he does dislike some of the choices she did in the past, he does understand why she was strict. Its not easy being a single mother of a demi-god of war and lust. Hyousuke inherently has a short, borderline violent, temper as well as an aura that attracts demons who wants to consume his demi-god power and life-force to reach a longer lifespan. Having a child as a single parent is already a lot for anybody, but a demi-god child would be too much for anybody. So Hyousuke's mother, to try to protect them both, went the strict "when school is over you immediately come back home" parent rant. But at least she explains to her son why it has to be this way. Anyways he runs away from home when he was a teenager and got way too use to fighting demons before he had to come crawling back to his mom for help with Mitsuko, his daughter, while he has to go to court because he was being framed for murder.

So they're on good terms now, but it was a rocky relationship at the beginning. Hyousuke's mom loves Mitsuko though. Her and Minori compete with trying to spoil her.

NOW LETS TALK ABOUT HYOUSUKE AND HIS BASTARD OF A FATHER!

Hyousuke's dad is Kyou, the major god of war and lust. Hyousuke absolutely despises his dad for multiple reasons and always has. Kyou knocked up his mom as a one night stand knowing damn well he was going to do so because of his curse and then deciding to ditch his mom and monitor from the heavens. Kyou didn't monitor Hyousuke to protect him or out of love, Kyou purely monitor him as a potential successor and/or as a favorite chosen human as well as for his own entertainment. The other main reason as to why Hyousuke despises his father is because Kyou killed his wife.

So whenever Hyousuke catches just a glimpse of Kyou, he goes into a mostly blind violent rage. He has ripped out poles from the ground to throw them at the god as an attempt to kill him. Kyou just see's all of this as a fun game to taunt Hyousuke even more.

Yoshino Iwasaki

👪 - What’s their relationship with their parents like?

Yoshino has an average relationship with her parents. She's not super close with them but she does love and care for them both. She does visit and invite them to festivals. She is more close to her missing grandma though.

Minori Løgner

🤔 - What’s something they’ll never understand?

Minori is a dishonored god of knowledge, use to being the major god of knowledge so there's not a lot that she won't ever understand. She struggles a bit with modern concepts like cars but if she's curious enough and you leave her alone with a mechanic book and a car she can figure it out.

However, she will never understand anime and the culture that follows it. Yoshino can and has explained it time and time again, but it all goes over her head. It's not even a spite thing, Minori's brain just won't wrap itself around the concept of it. She still lets Yoshino show her anime and lets her talk about it whenever she wants.

She likes the passion and knowledge Yoshino has so its pleasant noise for her even if she just doesn't get it.

Jun Masipag

🎲 - Pick a random question to answer from this list

Cool I'm going to pick "💀 - How do they feel about horror movies?"

Jun is fine with horror movies, he watches them from time to time. However he's always jumpy afterwards and will make Yoshino dump the trash before he follows along with a light cuz he scared himself that he sent his friend to her death. Absolutely has the mind set of throwing whatever he has in his hands at the source of a spooky sound before sprinting away.

His phone has a lot of cracks on its screen and his phone protector is absolutely chipped. He's also spooked stray cats and dogs.

[khaleesiofalicante]

Hey, I have been bullied for 2 years on the Internet and I still can't figure out if I moved on or not. I just feel like it sometimes becomes difficult for me to make new friends because something inside me doesn't want to open up to new people anymore. The worst part is that my parents don't take cyberbullying seriously, so I want to ask for at least some support or advice for the rest of my life. Thank you.

Hello, love.

Cyberbullying is very serious and it has consequences offline as it does with our online experiences. I'm sorry your parents don't take it seriously (or if they tell you to get off the internet to fix it!) because that's not very supportive of them. I hope you know it's serious and what you have experienced in the past is very much not okay.

I can understand how your experiences might prevent you from opening up to new people. First of all, try not to think of it as something you need to move on from. You don't have to erase what happened in the past to build a new future. You can use your past experiences to build better boundaries for yourself and be clear of what kind of people you want to interact with and what kind of people you want to avoid.

It can definitely be scary to make friends online because there are many of them who are not so kind. But remember, there are ways to make new friends online while protecting yourself.

Here are some things that might help:

Start slowly: Take small steps to interact with people online. This could mean commenting on someone's post or answering polls or sending someone asks or joining a group chat that interests you. Gradually, as you feel comfortable, you can begin to share more about yourself.

Join supportive communities: There are some spaces in fandom that are toxic. Watch out for those. If you feel there is a lot of argument in the fandom and not enough space for you to share your opinion without being bullied, it's best to stay away from that fandom for a while and prioritize your safety. But then again, all fandoms have toxic people and spaces inside them. So, look at people/blog that spread positivity and support. These types of communities are less likely to attract bullies and can provide a safe space for you to interact with others. They also promote each other and their work. Please let me know if you'd like a list of positive and lovely tsc blogs (if you are from this fandom). I'm happy to recommend you some!

Use privacy settings: Make sure to use privacy settings on your social media accounts (including tumblr) and consider using a nickname or pseudonym to protect your identity. People don't have to know your real identity to respect you. Respect and safety are not conditional. So, use psuedenyons and anon asks and whatever else if it makes you feel safe.

Trust your instincts: This is very important! If someone is making you feel uncomfortable or disrespecting you or is being overly pushy, it's okay to remove yourself from the situation. You don't owe anyone your time or attention if they're not treating you with respect. Remember to block them or call them out or leave that space. Your safety is always the most important.

I know you asked for advice for a lifetime but the way we feel about things can change because the people around us (and we!) change with time. So, if there is a situation where you feel uncomfortable or threatened or even lonely, please feel free to reach out to someone in your life or in the fandom and talk to them. Talking ALWAYS helps. It might solve the problem, but it makes you feel a little lighter and that's very important. My blog is always open if you want to talk x

Remember that making friends online can be a positive and rewarding experience. I've been bullied on tumblr too. And on other platforms. Sometimes I get death threats because of the work I do. But I try to also remember that I met some of my favorite people on social media - including this hellsite. So, while it's important to be cautious, don't let past negative experiences prevent you from building new relationships and finding your people.

I wish all the best <3

[fagexe]

Cw: Umbrella Academy spoilers

Tldr: I'm very sad about the quality of the new season because I really liked the past two seasons and the parts of the comic that I've seen

I was initially planning on spacing out the series and watching a couple of episodes a week to enjoy it, but that did not happen.

Instead, I watched an episode last night and hate watched the rest today

*This is basically just a list of complaints*

Overall: All of the characters have regressed or are just entirely acting out of character, and I don't know why. I understand the changes in Allison and Victor make sense (a little bit less in Allison's case but at least there's a reason for it) but why the ffuck is Luther suddenly incredibly clueless and naive? Like he's always been like that yes but like this season is a whole new level.

SloaneXLuther:

L: oh, are you honey potting me?

S: why would you think I would do that I would never (having given no evidence that she would never)

S: Oh no! are you honey potting me?

L: why would you think I would do that I would never (having given no evidence that he would never)

L: Oh no it's you, you're the one who's honey potting me!

S: no it's just my family, I would never (still having given no evidence)

S: Oh no it's you, you're the one who's honey potting me!

L: no it's just my family, I would never (still having given no evidence).

S: Oh, okay. come in my room let's fuck

L: good plan

Fucking shut up oh my god! Neither of you have any reason to trust the other or any reason to be attracted to each other other than like a base level physical attraction, please be quiet and stop

SloaneXLuther2: EXCUSE ME? He knew her for like several hours before deciding he was in love. And like, okay, Luther's being Luther, but a second character also acting like this? They fuck once and now they're in love and they're going to get married? OH OK! I mean, I get the world is ending, sure, but like still crying over your dead husband that you've known for 2 days???

Klaus: Somehow being the most effective and useful one <3

Klaus part 2: How does he know that woman is related to his mother???? He has no reason to know that! He just walked up to some random Amish woman and decided that was his mom and just said "Mom?" it wasn't even his mom it was his mom's sister at that. Doesn't make any fucking sense. Second, why did they all react like that. If she was actually getting upset, sure, react with hostility, but like he wasn't even in the room when Klaus came over to talk to her and then suddenly they're all chasing him with pitchforks??! They (the show runners) just wanted a reason for them to have to leave quickly and I don't like it. Also why the heck would she give him that book? How is she faster than everyone? what?

Klaus part 3: Suddenly so trusting!!! Unacceptable! Give him one chance, okay, but he's literally doing the exact same thing your old dad did and experimenting on you. Why are you continuing to trust him?? Doesn't make any sense, don't like it.

AllisonXLuther: I hated this and it felt deeply out of character. I know she's using her power again but this was way too far for her in my eyes.

The Sparrows: Why are they all so oblivious? Like they're drugging their dad and are theoretically in control, at this point, they should be able to recognize the obvious possibility of the umbrellas. Ignoring that, they're also just like all being really dumb, like every single one of them, for no apparent reason.

Sparrows part 2: why did One just disappear!! Like I get it being a trope for neither of them to have what the other group wants in a trade-off scenario like that. But, it just feels so lazy. And like killing off a character for very little reason. I understand people and things had to start going missing but I think it made a lot more sense to start with the dog and like other smaller things like the cows than just like a whole ass person and then no other people for a long time. Also, One being taken throws a wrench in the whole both the academies seem to be impervious to the body snatching waves?? Like if number one can be taken why couldn't the rest of them? how did they all survive? Feels like a big hole to me.

Diego: Shut the fuck up and stop being mean to this kid for no reason. I understand having a kid dropped on you suddenly would definitely be upsetting and confusing, but the way he was acting was just awful. And then turning around and deciding you're going to be supportive / parent him when he burns down some shit and kills your brother? And then when he discovers she's actually pregnant!!! He's into it?!?!? fucking excuse me! this is a whole ass roller coaster that doesn't make any sense.

Diego part 2: "I'm the daddy" involuntarily irl gagged, that was awful

Reginald Hargreaves: He would be smart enough to know to pop a pill in his cheek so he wouldn't have to take it without having Klaus tell him. Like that feels basic, and he's proved himself to be pretty conniving and savvy in the past. Once he stops being drugged his actions generally make sense again. Except, I don't know why he needed to "bring the family together." They ended up all going in because the world was ending, not because they came together, so it never mattered. I'm pretty sure if he thought about it for a second he would have realized that would happen. And not thinking about it for a second feels out of character. I get he had to bring the numbers down to seven but he didn't even really have to do that because Klaus ended up coming back and it didn't matter (nor did he seem to be that worried or care at all when Klaus came back, which doesn't make sense given that he just went to the trouble of killing two of them to make it seven). And then the deal with Allison???

wE aRe aLl In A coMpuTEr: (fucking whatever) maybe they'll expand on this next season, and it'll be better, but I think the way the show handled it was boring and bad.

Fei: Do the birds apparate out of her back? or do they exist in the real world all the time? Does she befriend additional crows and those crows come and live with her and become her eyes? Like when Ben grabbed that bird why didn't she just disapparate it? If she befriends them, that's super chill, but then explain why sometimes the crows have to come back to her to tell her what they see, and other times she sees directly through their eyes??

Fei 2: I think she's very pretty and I like her clothes. uwu

Victor: Let him have his fucking tapes, Jesus Christ. Also, you just learned a bunch of lessons last season that I feel like you forgot

Mom: cool the robot is making a religion that's great, but this doesn't make any sense, bye

I have a lot of other things to say, but these are the main things coming to my head right now. I think I will probably not watch next season, which makes me sad. This all being said, there were a lot of things I did like about the series, but I think the plot holes in weird continuity issues overweight them

[earl-grey-love]

🌻 :3 ?

new ask game send me a 🌻 and ill just tell you whatever the fuck i want

Hiii Percy 💕 Thank you for the ask! It's pretty late, I'm sorry about that.

I'm going to continue on from my last answer and talk abt the book I just read. I finished it last night. It's part 2 of the series and while I loved the first book, it was nothing like this one! You don't have to read my prev post to understand this answer, but it may add context.

Book 2 is called "An Unnatural Vice". It continues the mystery of book 1, but switches to the perspective of journalist Nathaniel Roy, and his run in with a spiritualist called Lazarus. Let's just say they do not get along.

I'm gonna say this up front: I. Love. Nathaniel. He's absolutely incredible and I very quickly developed a crush. He's my type with a capital T. Even the name 👌 And the blue eyes. 😩 Help me.

(Minor spoilers) Anyway, he's as serious as you'd expect. He used to be a lawyer, but he got sick of the system so he became a journalist. He investigates Lazarus as part of his task to defame another spiritualist as a fraud. While there, he finds Lazarus' lies and manipulations absolutely despicable, but is somewhat intrigued by the methods. This is complicated by Nathaniel's grief. He had a long term lover who passed away unexpectedly several years ago. He hasn't quite gotten over it. This is a wound Lazarus picks at with his spiritualism.

Lazarus is an intriguing character himself. I liked him immensely. His perspectives are distinctly familiar and I was able to peg who he is pretty quickly. He's written with immense care, as with the other characters. Once again I won't detail it, but he has a deeply troubled past and he's coping with it unhealthily. I especially loved his relationship with the children he'd adopted. Suki was the MVP of the story and I loved the banter between them.

Overall, these are two men who I immediately warmed up to and related with. That made their fierce opposition to each other even better. Oh the drama of it. The messy attraction. This book had me grinning any time they interacted with each other.

Mystery wise, the two of them make an incredible team. I won't explain how they come to work together, but they do and its SO GOOD. Nathaniel is the strong, staunchly moral, reliable type who takes everything seriously. He can be almost too earnest at times. This is comparable to Laz, who is pretty much the opposite. He's powerfully strong willed, but he's every man for himself and is rarely upfront. Prickly too. Well, they're both really prickly. Laz has potent perception and complex social skills, which makes him the perfect man to help with the mystery.

(NSFW) Again, there is sex. And far more of it. It's enemies to lovers, and really intense with it. Even when it's more lovers than anything, there's an underlying theme of competition. They're both strong characters and they want to win. Typically its big strong Roy who ends up giving in while Laz wins, which is amazing in my opinion. They are less tasteful than the previous book but that comes with the territory. Still heavy on the character development throughout though. (NSFW ends)

The mystery was less predicable than the previous book. I had already figured out the end of it but the steps along the way were interesting. Again the suspenseful scenes were truly gripping. I was less concerned for these two due to how capable they were, but still 😬

My favourite aspect was the unexpected love at first sight themes. I love that trope almost as much as enemies to lovers, so the combo is fainting couch worthy. I've really gotta put this book up there as one of the best I've ever read. I have nothing negative to say about it. Just know that Nathaniel had me losing my mind. Good grief.

I rate this book 15/10. I will be reading it again. It was far more in line with my typical interests than the previous book.

[thewickedharlot]

Today we will be taking a look at the various couples in Hollywood to give them a rating. Keep in mind, we're using "couple" loosely. Some of these are exes, situationships, etc. The rating will be out of 10 with points in the following categories loyalty (1), attractiveness (2), power couple (2), compatibility (2), individual personalities (2), public cuteness (1).

MATEO AND VINCENT -

loyalty - There have been no signs that either of them have been disloyal, nor that either of them are the type. Full points. attractiveness - They're both very attractive and look good together as a couple! They'll get full points. power couple - Mmm.. I'm gonna be honest. I'm not sure about this one? Mateo isn't really in the public eye outside of singular reality tv stunt. We'll give them 1 point in this category. compatibility - We don't know that much about them as a couple, but there have seemingly been no hiccups. individual personalities - They both seem as sweet as sugar, so we'll give them full points for this. public cuteness - Mmm. Unfortunately, I'll be the stickler. In the past few months, we haven't seen a ton of public interaction between the two of them, so we'll give them .25 in this category. OVERALL SCORE - 8.25/10

OLIVIA AND ROMAN -

loyalty - We have zero faith in the ability of Olivia to be loyal to anyone. So we'll give .5 points because we think Roman could be. attractiveness - Unfortunately..Liv.... We'll give 1 point in this category. power couple - We're hoping that Olivia fails sometime soon, and Roman has just started releasing his own music. We're not sure about this one.... .5 again. compatibility - Yeah, no. individual personalities - Roman seems great! public cuteness - Roman doesn't post much on social media, but she posts pictures of him from time to time. OVERALL SCORE - 3.5/10

LOLA AND SCOUT -

loyalty - Its hard to imagine these two as super loyal, when it seems like maybe there are some break ups in between? We'll give half a point because this time together has lasted for a while. attractiveness - They're a very attractive couple! power couple - They're so new to Hollywood...what power? No part of them gives off ambitious bad asses in power. They give off more..college students letting loose. Zero points. compatibility - This one is tough. We'll give them a one. individual personalities - We're gonna be honest. I don't know that much about them, but they seem relatively likeable. We'll give them 1 point. public cuteness - They post cute stuff together occasionally, but not super frequently. We'll give them .5 for looking so cute on tour together. OVERALL SCORE - 5/10

SEBBY AND MARGEAUX -

loyalty - This one is a toss up. Haven't there been some...rumors? Some...uncertantiy at the beginning of their relationship..? That didn't set them off in a good foot in this category, but we'll give them half a point. attractiveness - Sebby's looks are up for major debate. Margeaux is pretty, though, so she'll get one point for them. power couple - This is another one I'm torn on. They're obviously famous in their own regard, but its hard to really define them as a super huge 'power couple'. We'll give them 1.5 because once you curbstomp someone, you start to lose a bit of credibility. compatibility - They're very compatible! They get full points here. They seem very in love. individual personalities - Again..up for debate. The consensus is that Sebby is a really nice guy, but that Margeaux...maybe isn't as much. We'll give them 1 point for their efforts. public cuteness - While some of their stuff can be on the edge of cute and obscene, they do post the most about each other. So we'll give them .75, with the .25 cause some of it is just..ick. OVERALL SCORE - 6.75/10

BONNIE AND FLETCHER -

loyalty - Is this still a touchy subject? We're gonna go with 0. attractiveness - Mmm. I'd say they're...fine? They're both clearly attractive people, but they scream very much 'standard cute couple'. We'll give them 1.75, because it is a bit generic. power couple - I mean..son of Amazon, but she pulls the points back again. We'll give them a 1.75. compatibility - This one..again.. Its hard to tell because there's been so much fighting and so many problems. We'll give them a 1 for this because they're working it out for a reason (and lets hope its just not because of the trust fund). individual personalities - This one is a bit of a rough one because they've been in such a rough patch, but Fletcher seemed fairly nice? We've had less public interaction with Bonnie, but we'll give them 1.5 to be nice. public cuteness - They are fairly cute sometimes. They post lots of pictures together, so we'll give them the full point. OVERALL SCORE - 7/10

AXEL AND SAINT -

loyalty - They seem very loyal to each other without issue. I guess maybe we COULD dock them .25 points for time they broke up, but we won't. attractiveness - I guess it depends on your tastes. Their looks go well together, so we'll give them the points. power couple - For some reason, I refuse to say that Axel could be apart of a true power couple. Saint has some pull with Austin, but for some reason they - as a couple - just don't scream POWER COUPLE to me. We'll give them .5 points. compatibility - They seem fairly compatible, so we'll give them the points. individual personalities - This..you know. Axel seems nice enough, but Saint doesn't exactly seem super agreeable? We'll give them 1 point. public cuteness - Axel likes all of Saint's photos, but Axel likes everyones photos. We're gonna go with a .5 here. OVERALL SCORE - 7/10

AUSTIN AND ESSENCE -

loyalty - These two seem fiercely loyal to each other. So we'll give them the full point. attractiveness - They're a fairly attractive couple, but they just don't look like they would be together. We'll give them 1.5 points. power couple - They definitely have full power couple vibe. Clothing, label owner, acting, all of that. compatibility - I'm sorry. We've gotta wonder what these two talk about? They're clearly compatible to a point, but...what do they talk about?!?! We'll give them 1.5. We're taking away .5 for our confusion. individual personalities - We love the both of them so much! Lovely! public cuteness - Have you seen Austin's bio? OVERALL SCORE - 9/10

[sapphic-courtship-for-dummies]

Hello, hello!!

Just gonna start this off by saying- this might be a little depressing lol but it’ll make sense at the end. Basically, I’ve had this internet friend for about two years and over the past 6+ months I’ve realized I’ve caught feelings for them. I have tried to push it down because I love them dearly and don’t want to ruin a friendship but it’s only gotten worse (stronger) over time.

The main problems are that we have never met in person and we live very very far from each other. And money of course is an issue to travel. I would tell them but I obviously don’t want to ruin a friendship. Also, meeting irl is different than texting someone so what if we don’t even work irl? I’ve tried to get over them but the issue is I don’t WANT to which is brutal. I just have such a strong faith in them and know them so well that it’s hard to let this go. I don’t know the best move in this situation- should I tell them or should I not? We talk consistently and talk about anything and everything. I’ve held back from texting them while drunk multiple times now. When I think about the feelings I have for them, I feel calm which I don’t think I’ve ever really felt before with someone. They mean so much to me and I just wished we lived closer.

Hi anon,

I definitely agree that this is a tricky situation to be in. Long distance is not for everyone, and it can be difficult to navigate. But there are some potential avenues to explore here. (Heads up for a long answer.)

I guess one question that I have is if the two of you have video chatted or if it's been strictly texting? I know video can add a more personal element and give a better idea of the possibility of things like attraction and chemistry. If you have explored this method of communication and are still sure in your heart of hearts about your feelings for this person, then I move onto my next point.

I don't know how this person feels about long distance relationships, or if they would be willing to give it a try. I don't know if you've ever broached the subject (which might not be a bad idea). But I do know at least two queer couples who have successfully navigated long distance relationships for years. They lived states away until eventually, recently, both couples saved enough money to move in with their partner. As far as I know, they're very happy now. Of course it is difficult, and it takes time and energy and resources that not everyone has the patience for. But it is not impossible.

Another thing I'm quite sure of, based on my own experiences, is that bottling up your feelings and trying to ignore them without some form of definite closure for yourself can only work so well, or for so long. I don't think it's healthy to deny yourself the potential of having something without even knowing if you can have it. Obviously you feel very strongly about this person, and obviously it aches. I understand the fear of not wanting to mess up a relationship as it stands, but if a friendship has a strong foundation, then the two of you should come out stronger on the other side. And if you need examples: I kid you not, I've been confessed to/asked out by two friends just this year, for whom I do not hold romantic feelings for, and we were able to move past it and are still good friends. So even if your friend doesn't feel the same way, I honestly think it will be really good for you to get it off your chest. (And it would probably be better coming from you sober than otherwise.)

Of course, every individual and every situation is different, and you have to decide for yourself what it is that you need and what you think the best course of action is. I try to use the Best/Worse/Most Realistic Case Scenario method. 1) What is the best thing that could possibly happen? If you tell them how you feel, maybe they feel the same way and are willing to put in the effort to pursue a long term relationship and it all ends up working out! 2) What is the worst thing that could happen? Maybe they won't feel the same way, maybe they'll be super weirded out and never want to talk to you again. But I find this highly unlikely. And even if it did come to pass, then you would still learn from it, and be able to move on. 3) What is the most realistic thing that could happen? The most likely scenario is probably something in the middle. Maybe they don't reciprocate or aren't willing to pursue a long distance relationship but they still want to be friends. Or maybe they won't reciprocate and will need to take some space before talking again. Or maybe they do like you that way and you'll have to work together to find a solution. At the very least, I think you would have some closure, one way or another. But you won't know unless you tell them, unless you communicate.

I really feel for you anon, and I wish there was an easy fix solution I could give you. But no matter what happens, I know that you will get through it. You are not alone, and you are stronger than you think. So be brave, and be honest with yourself. Trust your intuition. That's the best that you can do.

Know that you are loved, and believed in, and that I'm always here if you need a friend. I hope this is helpful.

Best of luck,

Sappho ❤️

[softjyrn]

how i feel for you

choeves brain rot!!!!!, thanks to the anon that put this idea in my head, i hope you like it!! i took some liberties with the plot, but i think the dynamic is still there

smut all the way to the end, starts at >>>

let's imagine that choeves age gap is only of 2 years instead of 4, and they're all in college bc yeah, i feel more comfortable with that

prompt: fwb jock himbo yves and bratty choerry who everyone thinks is this ray of sunshine but meets jock g!p yves underneath the bleachers before each game for a good luck charm..if u know what i mean...

warnings: g!p, dirty talk, bit of impregnation kink (really minor)

fic lenght: 3.3k words

---

"look at her" jinsol huffs under her breath, staring at something, someone, across the field they were in, the students laying on the grass and taking advantage of the shadows from the trees, "does she always have to be that smiley all the time? it's midterms seasons for fucks sake"

sooyoung lifts her head at her friend's comment turning to look at where jinsol is looking, on a distance in front of them is choi yerim, a well known sophomore around campus, along with her friends kim jiwoo and jeon heejin. the three of them were easily known for, and sooyoung is quoting haseul here, being literal rays of sunshine, so cute.

she chuckles, shaking her head at her friend, "i don't understand how you're still bitter about her, jinsol. the reason you and jungeun broke up was simply because you slept with someone else, i'm pretty sure regardless of whatever choi yerim told her, she would've dumped you"

jinsol grumbles, "i was drunk that one time"

"yeah? and what about the others?" sooyoung doesn't hold the snort she lets out at seeing her friend's face turn red from anger. jinsol was sometimes too easy to tease.

"whatever, you're just saying that because you want to get into her pants"

sooyoung scoffs, you have no idea, "what makes you think that? she's not really my type"

"oh please, she so is your type. cute, innocent, easy to break. too bad jungeun probably told her all the shit you do to girls" there's a smile on jinsol's face, the type that sooyoung really doesn't like, the one she uses when she wants to fuck with her head. but no, she won't let jinsol have this one.

"that sounds more like your type. you know, i'm starting to believe that all of this personal vendetta against yerim it's just your weird way of letting out your sexual attraction towards her"

sooyoung smirks at the almost offended look on the dark haired girl's face, her mission acomplished when jinsol curls one of her hands into a fist, frustration clear on her face.

"that's it, fucker. i'm leaving" she hastily says, standing up from the grass and quickly gathering her things, ignoring a laughing sooyoung still on the ground.

"we have practice tomorrow, don't be late" with a last grumble, sooyoung waves goodbye at her friend's retreating figure, snickering under her breath.

it's almost unconsciously how her eyes find yerim again. she is still talking with her friends, her usual bubbly smile on her face, with the sun shining down on her and her hair falling down in soft waves, sooyoung thinks that haseul is right, she is cute.

and yes, maybe she has a pretty good idea of how cute yerim is, especially when she is on her knees and having her mouth filled with sooyoung.

but that's probably something that haseul doesn't need to know.

--

sometimes sooyoung thinks that coach kang is the devil incarnate, making the team practice at 7 am on a saturday it's just one of the collection of proof sooyoung has gathered on the case.

(the rest of the proofs including, but not limited to, how she makes her run 10 laps around the field whenever she caughts sooyoung flexing a bit too much in front of the cheerleaders)

practice doesn't end until past 10, and when coach kang finally tells them they are done for the day the team doesn't waste time to flee the scene, by the time sooyoung is done showering and is gathering her things from the lockers, she is pretty much alone. only two of her teammates - no jinsol in sight, rude bitch - remaining in the dressing rooms.

she sets her duffle bag next to the bench she is sitting on, pulling out her phone to text jinsol about how she was supposed to wait for her. instead she gets distracted by a notification, a new text displayed on the screen.

choi yerim

[10:18] are you done with practice?

[10:18] i thought maybe we could meet at our spot?

sooyoung feels the buzz of anticipation settling on her body, their spot being behind the bleachers, during the week it's a place where most stoners from campus would hang out, but during the weekends after the lacrosse team and the cheerleaders are done with practice it's practically deserted.

it's also extremely convenient how there's an old ratty sofa there. it reeks like pot and sooyoung is pretty sure that she is not the only one leaving cum stains on the surface, but it does the job quite well. the job being having a surface to fuck yerim into.

ha sooyoung

[10:47] yeah, i'm done

[10:47] let's meet, i'll wait for you there

>>>

it's not long before footsteps are heard around her, after all yerim's dorm was on a walking distance from the field, looking up from her phone sooyoung sees yerim making her way in.

short shorts hugging her hips and a white t-shirt made her still look fucking delicious to sooyoung.

"baby, hi" sooyoung calls out, her voice soft as the way she was looking at yerim. even after months of their hook-ups she still gets somewhat awestruck with yerim.

"i've told you to stop calling me that, sooyoung" yerim huffs, a faux annoyance on her face.

"it's still unnie for you, brat. just because i eat you out twice a week doesn't mean you can lose the honorifics" she grumbles, scooting to the side of the couch to make room for yerim.

"i don't call unnie to dumb fucktoys that keep me waiting. you didn't answer my text until almost half an hour later"

sooyoung feels the arousal spreading through her, it was always so hot hearing yerim curse, her angelic features and those lips spitting obscenities at her, because of her.

"is that what i am to you, a fucktoy?"

yerim rolls her eyes, "not now, i really want to get off"

she climbs into sooyoung's lap, legs straddling her, and the heat sooyoung feels from her center makes her member twitch against her. her cheeks flaming from how fast the situation escalated.

if there's one thing that she loves about yerim is how she doesn't waste time getting into what she wants.

"tell me something, baby. did you miss me?" she grips yerim by the hips, hoisting her up in her lap and smirks at the sharp intake of breath the younger girl lets out.

her smugness is short-lived though, when yerim grinds down on her bulge, her clothed cunt pressing directly against her dick.

the younger girl lips arms curl around her neck "you know i don't like it when you get cocky" the younger girl husks between them, lightly biting her lip, "now be a sweetheart and fuck me"

she starts grinding her hips, the friction rubbing sooyoung in the best way. "shit, i'd fuck you right on, darling"

sooyoung tightens her grip on yerim's hips, guiding her movements and pressing her down harder. the girl on top of her letting out a strained groan. sooyoung could feel her growing erection making contact with yerim's leaking center, the heat engulfing her hardness.

"god, feels so good" yerim moans out, one of her hands scraping sooyoung's nape, causing a shiver to run down her spine.

"christ, you're so hot" sooyoung grunts out when yerim presses particularly hard onto her member. she feels flushed, her face burning up and the both of them breathing harshly.

she takes a handful of yerim's ass, hands sneaking up the back of her tiny shorts to grab her, the younger girl moaning in appreciation.

"you're so hard already" yerim moans, "i can feel you leaking" she continues before sooyoung is pressing their lips together right as she starts grinding her hips into her.

their tongues start exploring each other's mouths and sooyoung whimpers into her mouth when she feels the smaller girl's hand rubbing her cock over her sweatpants.

"i can't ever get enough of how big you are" yerim says when their lips part for a second, making sooyoung groans at the praise.

"see, that's what you do to me" sooyoung answers, "everytime goddamn time, yerim, you drive me fucking crazy" she continues, her voice almost wrecked by the want cruising through her.

she gets desperate when yerim keeps stroking her over the fabric, tugging her waistband down along with her underwear, freeing her leaking cock into the air. yerim wastes no time in wrapping her hand around the length, giving it a pair of pumps.

"fuck. is this mine?" she mumbles, right against sooyoung's lips, voice as affected as the older girl's. sooyoung moans at the friction on her bare member, turning into a whimper when yerim squeezes hard.

"i asked you something, whose dick is this?" she growls out, her grip strong.

"fuck, yours-ah, yours, baby. you know that, only you get me like this. god" sooyoung blabbers, already too dumb down to thing about anything other than shoving her meat into yerim's tightness.

yerim giggles breathly, softening her grip and rubbing at the slit with her thumb, collecting a glob of precum in an attempt to make her strokes easier.

"that's right, unnie" the younger girl starts kissing along her jaw, before mapping down her neck, making sooyoung buck her hips into her hand every time she sucks on the skin.

it wasn't long before sooyoung started to fuck herself into yerim's fist, impatience clear on her actions. yerim licked her lips at the sight of her, lost in pleasure.

"fuck, yerim, you're going to make me cum" she groans out, her grip on yerim's hips turning bruising and her breath puffing out against her skin.

at sooyoung's impatience, yerim becomes ruthless, her strokes quickening and her fist closing tighter around the hardness. the older girl moans uncontrollably, hiding her face into yerim's neck and hotly licking the skin.

with a final loud moan, sooyoung's hips stutter and she explodes. bursts of cum landing on yerim's hand and their clothes. she lets out a muffled whine when yerim prolongs her orgasm with slow tugs at her cock.

she closes her eyes for a moment, the pleasure blinding her. when she opens them again, sooyoung is met with the familiar sight of yerim licking her cum off her fingers, humming under her breath at the taste.

"god, you're menace" she mutters, her dick already hardening at the wink the younger girl throws her way. with her hands still wrapped around yerim she lifts her up, making her gasp in surprise. she turns them to the side, laying her down on the couch.

sooyoung hovers over her, her arms resting on the sides of yerim's face, "i'm going to make you feel good" she whispers against her lips, kissing her the next second.

with their tongues swirling against each other, sooyoung starts feeling down her body, her lips following the same path as her hands. traveling from the side of her neck, to the shape of her breasts over her bra, after losing her shirt, and ending at the waistband of her shorts.

sooyoung hands deftly undo the button, pulling it down with her underwear and parting her legs. "so pretty" she breathes out, her words hitting yerim's cunt.

when she comes up to kiss yerim, the girl is a complete vision, hair tousled, face flushed and lips swollen from their kissing. it makes sooyoung just want to take, take and take.

"do something, fuck" yerim groans, "don't look at me like that"

sooyoung chuckles at her impatience, kissing her softly before running her fingers over her folds, spreading her wetness. she whines at the feeling of yerim being absolutely drenched.

yerim whimpers when she starts to rub her clit, small hands coming to grip her forearms. "yes, like that"

sooyoung spreads her folds, circling with a finger her hole. she prodes the finger in, swallowing the moan yerim lets out against her mouth.

when she finally enters her cunt, she can't help a moan of her own at the tightness. it doesn't matter how many times she stretches yerim around her cock, she is always so tight.

"mmfuck, add another one" yerim whimpers against their kiss, sooyoung following her instructions and pumping her fingers in and out of her sopping hole.

"you're so tight, yerim. i feel you're going to suck my fingers up" sooyoung mutters, a breathless chuckle following her statement.

yerim gasps when sooyoung amps up the rhythm, her fingers curling every time she pulls them out. the younger girl covers her mouth, trying to quiet down her sounds.

sooyoung frowns at the action, using her other hand to snatch away the one obstructing yerim's mouth. "let me hear you, you're so pretty when you moan like that"

yerim whines at her words, high and needy, arms curling around sooyoung's back to pull her fully on top of her. moans sounding directly on the older girl's ear.

the feeling of having yerim's moans right on her ear, hot breath hitting her skin makes something in sooyoung snap. the need of making the younger girl a complete mess too strong to ignore.

she hears the loud moan that rippes out of yerim when she starts thrusting her fingers at a brutal pace, the tip of her fingers hitting that spongy spot on her insides that makes the younger girl trash around.

"yes, yes, yes, fuck, right there" yerim shrieks, high-pitched and with her back arching into the pliant body on top of her, she moans when she feels sooyoung's hardness poking her thigh. sooyoung just pins her down with her own body, a thumb coming into play to rub at her clit, making yerim buck against her hand.

"you feel so good, baby, so good" their lips meet each other messily, sooyoung not letting up her thrusts. she feels yerim nearing the edge when she clamps tighter on her digits, wetness drenching her hand.

yerim disconects their lips when she lets her head fall back, her nails diggin harshly into sooyoung's back, "fuck, i'm so close, so close, fuck"

sooyoung's thrusts turn erratic, her wrist burning with the effort, and yerim's lips part so beautifully when she flickers her clit one, two, three times before she comes. yerim bucks, her body turning rigid for a second as she lets out her loudest moan yet.

the younger girl pants harshly as sooyoung helps her ride out her orgasm and whines lowly when she removes her fingers from her cunt. sooyoung marvels at the gush of wetness that follows, her fingers soaking with yerim's juices.

"you always do a number on me, unnie" yerim chuckles, trying to catch her breath.

"i can't help myself, yerim-ah, you're always so good" sooyoung says, leaning down to nuzzle against the younger girl's neck. kissing the soft skin, she maps out the curve, her lips turning impatient when she becomes aware of how hard she is against yerim.

"yerim-ah," she moans, grinding her cock into yerim's thigh, searching for any friction, "let me put it in"

yerim's breath hitch at her words, grabbing a fistful of hair when sooyoung bites sharply into her neck, "yes, please, fuck me now"

sooyoung sucks one last mark on her neck before taking her cock into her hand, aligning the tip against her hole, desperate to rail all the way inside.

she pushes the tip in, an obscene squelching sound coming out of yerim's pussy as it starts to swallow her dick. "oh my god, you feel so good". she isn't even halfway in and she is already delirious from the feeling, if yerim wasn't so bratty, sooyoung would use her as a cocksleeve 24/7.

when she reaches the three fourths mark, sooyoung slams all the way in, pressing against yerim, making the girl scream in surprise. the sting making her trash around and moan when sooyoung starts thrusting, a hammering pace from the start.

"god, so fucking tight, you're choking my cock" sooyoung says, feeling in a trance with the way the sight of her cock fucking into yerim makes her feel.

yerim keeps gasping in pleasure at each thrust, "so big, you're ruining my pussy" she moans out, her walls clenching down on the hardness when sooyoung sneaks a hand into her bra, pinching her nipple harshly.

it seems like sooyoung has no plan in slowing down her pace, instead turning almost animalistic with her movements, yerim's body being jostled under her.

"so good, this pussy it's so good" she blabbers, "my pussy, it's mine, right yerim?" sooyoung groans out. too dumb down for anything other than fucking yerim.

"god, no, you know i'm not yours, dammit" yerim whines, her pussy thightens at the possesive tone in sooyoung's voice, her eyes glazed over with lust and too lost in her own world. it's not like she was fucking someone else, but god, she loved to push the older girl's buttons.

sooyoung growls at her response, the hand pinching her nipple coming to cup her jaw harshly, turning yerim's face to stare at her own. "shut up, i'm fucking this pussy and it's mine"

yerim tries to shake her head as a negative, but sooyoung's hand just holds her tighter, "i'm going to cum inside you until you're fucking stuffed, yerim, i'm going to knock you up, god"

sooyoung turns even more desperate at the moan the girl lets out, yerim hips grinding up to meet her halfway. the smacking sound of their fucking resounding around the area.

"you'd love that, wouldn't you? sweet little yerimie being my breeding whore. what would people think, yerim? huh? if i get you pregnant, would you be a good mommy for me?" sooyoung smirked wickedly at her, her favorite version of yerim was this: stripped of her facade and lost in her pleasure.

"no, god, you're disgusting" the younger girl whines, her actions a total contrast to her words, walls clenching down so hard around sooyoung that it makes it almost impossible to move.

"it's chocking me, fuck, i'm going to cum" sooyoung trembles, the peak of her pleasure coming nearer. she starts swiping yerim's clit in quick strokes, trying to get her to the edge along with her.

"yes, yes, fuck!" it takes no more than a few thrusts before sooyoung slams all the way inside of her and spills her cum inside of yerim's walls.

yerim takes her lips between hers, biting sharply when her orgasm crashes over her, the feeling of sooyoung's cum (and her words from earlier) making her reach her edge. she lets out a strained moan when the taller girl pulls out, their combined cum spilling out and adding a stain on the couch under them.

"god, look at that" sooyoung mutter, still lost in her lusty haze, swirling a finger into their fluids and slightly pushing it into yerim's cunt, only for it to pull back and offer it instead to yerim, who eagerly sucks on the tip.

they kiss lazily when yerim lets sooyoung's finger go with a pop, bodies sated and warmed with each other.

"are you going to come to the game tomorrow?" sooyoung mutters as she pulls away, features soft and relaxed as she tucks a strand of yerim's hair behind her ear.

"well, i have to, jungeun unnie still insists in watching your dumb friend play"

sooyoung hums, "and what about me? are you going to watch me too?"

yerim takes a few seconds to answer, making a show of thinking an answer, she lets out a shriek when sooyoung tickles her side, "stop!" she laughs,"you big baby, you know i'm coming to watch you, i'm your good luck charm, aren't i?"

at that sooyoung smiles, really smiles at her, her yerim, the real yerim.

"yes, you are"

[yourmidnightlover]

showing you

Summary: spencer gets a bit insecure with his body but doesn't let reader know until she starts doubting herself. when she figures it out, she makes sure to show spencer just how much she loves him.

TW: spencer's tummy insecurities, blowjob, mommy kink, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, allusions to sub/dom dynamic i guess?

WC: 3,958

masterlist

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you weren't stupid. you had noticed the change in spencer's behavior. you just didn't really know what was causing it, is all.

after spencer began teaching at georgetown, he started closing himself off a bit. you had visited him while lecturing beforeand you saw how beloved he was, especially by his female students. first you thought about all of those young girls, but then you remembered how that's not the kind of man spencer was.

so now you were back to being confused.

he was more distant than he's been in the past. when you would go to bed and try to cuddle with him, he would just pull away and roll over to the other side. being so understanding, you would let him be, thinking he'd open up when he's ready.

when you would make the two of you dinner on a rare day off from the bureau, he would either barely eat any of it or he'd just go back to the room altogether.

when you both went out with the team he would mostly just remain in the booth. you could usually get him to dance with you a few times before you decided to call it a night, but you couldn't even do that.

and in the bedroom, he would mostly focus on you, which isn't a bad thing at all. it's just... different. you hadn't actually had sex with each other in around three weeks, something you didn't want to push on him because obviously... no. but you couldn't help but wonder why he didn't want to.

you had started thinking, and that could be a scary place for you sometimes. you started thinking maybe he wasn't attracted to you anymore.

it made sense in your mind. the way he wouldn't dance with you anymore, wouldn't sit down for a meal with you, didn't want to have sex anymore, everything. it was the only logical thing you could think of as to why his behavior started to change.

you could either mope around because he's been acting different or now you could rekindle that flame. so you came up with a plan.

"spencer?" you approached him after you got out of the shower, a towel wrapped snug around your torso.

"yea, sweetie?" he asked, looking up from the spot in his book.

"i was thinking..." you trailed off, "we have a couple days off from the bureau and it's been a while since we've had a date night," your aided your eyebrows suggestively.

"you want to have a date night?" he asked in return, sitting up in the bed to get a better look at you.

"mmhmm," you nodded your head enthusiastically as you drew your bottom lip between your teeth.

"how does tonight sound?" he smiled at your reaction. you nodded your head once more. "ok great! i'll make reservations at- y'know what? it'll be a surprise. dress nicely, alright?" he said with a devious grin.

"sir, yes, sir," you smiled, making your way to his side of the bed.

you placed your hands on the sides of his face as he looked up and down your towel clad body, a smirk on his face. you connected your lips gently, surprised when he kissed back as fervently as he did. his hands quickly found your waist, making you chest to chest.

"7:30?" he asked once more, earning a muffled 'mmhmmm' against his lips.

"i'm gonna start getting ready, alright?" you said as you ran your hand through his hair.

"mmkay," he mumbled, his thumbs stroking your sides before you slowly ripped yourself away from him.

since it was already 2 in the afternoon, you had a bit of cushion time to get ready. you decided to wear your natural hair, a feature spencer really liked about you. you also did your makeup pretty natural. you applied a little bit of concealer, powder, bronzer, blush, and mascara.

for clothes, you opted for a white bodycon dress that went mid thigh and had a tiny slit for cleavage.

when you were finally ready, it was just past 7. you stepped out of the bathroom after doing some finishing touches on your hair and stepping into some white pumps.

you made your way into your shared bedroom, slowly running your hand along the doorframe as you admired the view in front of you.

spencer stood in the mirror, attempting to straighten his tie, with a navy blue suit on. his undershirt was a lighter shade of blue, his shoes black. when he turned to face you, you could see his face turning several shades of rouge.

"you look great, spence," you smiled as you began to walk towards him.

"i-you-i um... you look beautiful," he replied, biting his bottom lip gently as you placed your hand on his chest.

"thank you," you hummed as you wrapped your other arm around his body, really just to pull him closer to you. "i love you," you said so softly it was nearly inaudible.

you had said the usual 'love you's' nearly every night you had together as well as in public when on cases. but saying 'i love you' is extremely different than saying 'love you'.

saying 'i love you' is giving your own love to another person. it's letting them have full reign over your heart no matter how they plan on using it. saying 'love you' is only giving them a portion of your love. you still have that restraint and construction that doesn't allow you to be as vulnerable as when you say the 'i'.

"love you too, sweet girl. always," he replied, placing a kiss atop your head as he snaked his arms around your torso. "when did you get this dress? i don't remember seeing it before," he asked, resting his chin on your head.

"last weekend when you didn't want to go out, the girls and i went shopping. it was on sale; 25% off. i thought it was a pretty good deal," you smugly mumbled against his chest.

"that's my girl," he chuckled before you released him from your grip. "ready to go?"

"yup. i'm just gonna get my purse and we can head out," you motioned towards the living room.

you would normally be the one to drive since he has his anxieties about the road and all, but since he made the place a surprise it was on him to get the both of you there on time. he rested one hand on your thigh as his other was used to steer. you placed your hand on top of his, interlacing your fingers.

you didn't understand what was wrong. maybe he was faking the whole 'normal spencer' act? he's not acting like he doesn't love you right now. he seemed pretty attracted to you earlier when you came into the bedroom. you just didn't understand. you needed answers, but you could get those later.

when you finally arrived, you recognized the restaurant from one of rossi's spiels about which places serve 'the most authentic italian food he's had besides himself, of course'.

"rossi would be proud, spence," you chuckled as he opened the door for you.

"i actually had him pull a few strings with the owner of this place, apparently they're old family friends?" he said, placing a hand on the small of your back as the two of you walked to the host. "two for spencer reid please," the host looked at the clipboard on the podium before looking back up and giving the two of you a smirk.

"right this way, please," he smiled at spencer who looked at you with his lips pressed together in anticipation.

you followed the man up a set of stairs before he opened a large door for the two of you. you walked out, arm intertwined with spencer's, and found you were on the rooftop of the restaurant.

there was greenery all around you, fairy lights adorning every surface to give an amazing ambiance that set the most romantic mood imaginable. there was a small wooden table in the center of the floor, lit by one candle. there was a single red rose, obviously there to signify a meaning.

"i think those strings are pretty well tied, spence," you chuckled he began leading you to the table.

"i'm glad you like it," he removed his arm from yours so he could pull a chair out for you, pushing it back in once ready.

"it's so beautiful. the rose is a nice touch, too. was that your idea or rossi's?" you chuckled as you picked up the red flower to smell it.

"mine, actually," he smiled widely. "i've realized how long it's been since we've gone out together, and i wanted to do something special for you," he said as he sat beside you, taking your hand in his.

"i feel special right now," you smiled, placing a small kiss to his hand and never wanting to let go.

the rest of dinner went smoothly. you didn't ask him about his behavior, you felt like that was something that should be done in private.

now that you had gotten back home, you kicked off your heels, being sure to put them on your shoe rack to avoid later havoc, and sat down on the couch.

"wine?" spencer asked as he made his way to the kitchen.

"oh, i'm alright. i had some with dinner, thank you," you smiled as you waited for him to return.

once he got back, he placed two cups of iced water down on the coffee table and sat beside you. you curled into his side instinctively, feeling his muscles tense from the contact. you pulled back, searching his face for any discomfort.

"spencer...?" you whispered in his direction.

"yea, sweet girl?" he whispered back, you took a deep breath.

"are-are we okay?" you mumbled, not bothering to look at him.

"what do you mean? of course we're okay. we're okay, right?" he asked, backing up from you so he could get a better look.

"yes! but..." you trailed off, trying to find the courage. "it's just that lately you've been kind of off. you haven't been cuddling with me," you motioned to the couch. "you haven't danced with me like you used to. tonight's the first time we've been out in nearly a month. you won't even have sex with me. and..." you took a deep breath, "you haven't said 'i love you' in a really long time."

there was a pause. a long one. it was longer than a plank minute. you weren't looking at spencer at all, avoiding his eye contact in pure fear, just waiting for his answer.

"i'm sorry," he replied.

just an i'm sorry. now you knew, you were done. he didn't love you. it was all a show. he just wanted to make up for the past few weeks tonight, give you one last amazing memory before he broke the tie.

he would leave you. wondering what you did wrong. wondering why he had to go. wondering why you weren't good enough. you felt the tears in your eyes well up.

"don't cry, sweetie. i'm not-i'm not, we're okay,"he corrected, his hands cupping your face and wiping your teary cheeks clean. "i was just apologizing for me. i've been..." he sighed. "i've been gaining weight," now he was the one whispering.

"weight?" you sniffled, your hands ghosting over his on your face.

"yea," he replied, dropping his hands. "i've just been a bit insecure about it. that's why when we would cuddle i'd move away, i didn't want you to catch on to the weight," he shrugged.

"and the dancing...?"

"basically the same reason."

"and the going out?"

"i didn't want you to realize that some of my pants don't... they don't fit anymore," he winced as if the reveal hurt him.

"and the sex? you're still...?" you asked for reassurance.

"are you kidding? of course i'm attracted to you. do you see yourself?" he huffed in disbelief. "i just didn't want you to see me. my stomach, or arms," he sighed once more

"spencer, honey," you scooted closer to him on the couch, placing a hand on his shoulder and face. "i love you. you. you and your genius mind. the most romantic dates you plan for me. i love the way you lick your lip when you concentrate. the way you rub your hands together when you're presenting the profile. i love the rants you go on about anything and everything. i love you, spencer. and for the weight, that's perfectly alright. i love all of you," you placed a sweet kiss on his lips.

"i'm sorry i didn't talk to you about it sooner," he whispered against your mouth.

"it's alright spence. i understand," you sighed as he began kissing down your jawline. "i love you so, so much. you have no idea."

"i think i have a bit of an idea," he hummed against your neck.

"how about i show you?" you gave him a sly grin, your hands wandering to his belt buckle to undo it.

"oh-o-okay," he gave a small smile to you as you finally undid his belt, pulling his pants and underwear down together. you gently grasped his length, planting a kiss at the tip and trailing them down his shaft. "pl-please, y/n."

"shhh, i've got you, baby boy," you quieted him.

you licked a long stripe along the prominent vein, making sure to keep your eyes on him as you did so. his eyes fluttered shut, rolling to the back of his head as your tongue got higher on his length. once you got to the top, you gradually took him in. you hollowed your cheeks and pressed your tongue on the underside of his cock.

"fuck, y/n," he moaned, his hands reaching for your hair but hesitating whilst waiting permission.

"go ahead, you can touch me," you pressed his hand to the top of your head. "today's all about you, sweet boy."

when you went back to your ministrations, you made sure to use your hand on the rest of his dick that wouldn't fit in your mouth. you bobbed your head up and down, mostly guided by spencer's hold on you.

going by spencer's pace, it was rather quick and steady. you felt tears prick the corners of your eyes. you were tempted to blink them away but you couldn't not watch him in his euphoric state.

his head was tilted back, not enough to make it impossible to see his face. his eyes were lidded as his mouth was slightly agape, his breathing becoming more and more unsteady the longer you went on.

"oh my god, can i cum, mommy?" he asked in a high pitched voice, you hummed around his length as you continued to bob your head. "really? i can cum?" you quickly took your head off of his length for the shortest of seconds.

"go ahead, cum for me," and you dropped your head back on his length.

"oh thank you," he sighed in relief and gratitude. "thank you, ohh fuck yes, mommy," he groaned as he came down your throat with more 'thank you's and 'oh my god's.

"are you alright, sweet boy?" you asked as you rose to your knees.

"i'm more than alright, y/n," he said as he gripped your waist, pulling you onto his lap. "god, i love you so much," he began kissing your jawline once more.

"really? i had no idea," you joked as you tilted your head for better access.

"how about i show you?" he asked, his hands trailing down to your hips.

"you know how much i would love that, but i want to focus on you tonight. is that alright, bunny?" you asked, your hand gripping his chin softly to make him face you.

you had called him bunny once you found out how much he liked it when you rode him. he loved watching the way your breasts would bounce as you plopped down on him, not to mention how good and deep he could get inside you.

because of how much he liked it, doing that was always a treat for him. when he was especially good for you, did really good on a case, or when it was a special occasion you would allow it.

"yes, ma'am. it's alright," he nodded best he could with your hold on his chin. "b-but i want to taste you so bad," he pleaded, giving you his best puppy dog eyes.

"really? you wanna taste me so bad, honey?" you asked, your hand trailing down to his jawline as he nodded eagerly. "mmm, since you're just so cute i guess i'll let you."

"really?" his eyes widened.

"yea, really," you smiled at his surprise. "let's go to the bedroom now," you said as you rose off his lap, knowing spencer wasn't far behind you on your walk to the room.

you sat down at the bed, your feet dangling over the edge. spencer made his way to his knees, sitting down in front of you and looking up at you with pleading eyes.

"go ahead, bunny. you have permission to touch me all night," you granted him, your hand going to his hair as he pushed your dress up to slip off your underwear, beginning to pepper kisses along your thighs slowly.

his tongue made one stripe along your folds, your head shooting back with a loud moan. large hands grasped your hips to keep you near his face, knowing you would be squirming away eventually, as he continued to lap up your arousal.

"you're such a good boy, spencer," you praised him, noticing the affect the compliment had on him as he became much eager. "just like that, right there, right there, YES!" you hollered as you tugged his hair to bring him closer to you.

spencer had always been one for praise. part of you wondered why, but the other part didn't even care because you loved praising him. you call him your good boy because that's what he is. he's your good boy.

part of him being your good boy was him always being able to send you over the edge so quickly, and only by using his mouth.

"ohhh fuck! yes, spencer," you gripped his hair by the roots, a groan leaving his mouth and sending you into oblivion.

you practically had to tear him off of you, he's such an overachiever. he had a wide smile on his face as you brought him up to kiss you before he had even wiped your juices off his face.

"lay back, bunny," you motioned to the headboard. "i'm gonna ride you tonight."

"really?" he asked yet again.

"yes, really," you nearly laughed out. "do you wanna take your shirt off or leave it on?" you asked as you crawled on top of him.

"i um, i can take it off," he nodded.

"want me to do it for you, sweetie?" you asked, your hands finding their way to his chest as he nodded his head slowly. "alright."

so you did just that. you undid every button on his shirt, kissing every inch of skin as it was revealed to you until it was all the way off.

"mmm, you're such a pretty boy, spencer," you traced kisses back up to his neck, nipping his jawline gently as you placed him at your entrance. "my pretty boy."

"yo-your's. i'm a- i'm all your's," he huffed out as you slowly sank down on his length. "oh my god... feels so good," he groaned as he took your breasts in both of his hands.

"yea? you like the way my pussy feels around your pretty dick, bunny?" you enticed, enjoying the way his dick twitched inside of you. "ohh you like it when mommy talks to you too, huh? you like it when i talk about how good, how deep you get inside of me. how much i love those pretty little moans coming from you right now," you groaned out, feeling yourself get closer with every bounce and roll of your hips.

"mo-mommy, please," he shrieked out. "oh feels so good, wet, tight," he moaned, his hips bucking up to meet your pace.

you placed your hands on his chest as you began moving your hips at a much more rapid pace, not missing the way his thrusts followed suit. he always was an eager little bunny.

normally, you'd get on to him for being such a greedy brat but since he'd been such a good boy for you all night you'd oblige and let him have his fun.

"keep going, sweet boy," you encouraged him. "i'm so close, spence. come inside of me," you demanded.

much like you riding him, him being able to come inside of you was a treat. it was a reward for good behavior, because that's what he loves the most. because if you thought he liked you riding him, he was absolutely feral when it comes to being able to come undone inside of your body, feeling that close and intimate with you.

"i-i'm gonna come," he whimpered. "oh my god i'm gonna come."

"go ahead, bunny. i want your cum all inside me, baby. let it out," you egged him on.

what gave it away wasn't just the shoot of cum that now covered your walls, but the beautiful moans and pants that came from spencer while doing so. the way his head tilted back more, his mouth became slightly more agape as his upper chest a brighter shade of red. absolutely beautiful.

the intenseness from his high spurred that of your own in return. your legs began to shake as he kept thrusting inside of you, not only to help you through your orgasm but to also fuck his back inside of you.

"good boy, spencer. such a good boy," you breathed out once you had fully come down from your high.

you rested your head on his chest for a moment, trying to catch your breath before finally getting off him. you grabbed his hands and led him to the bathroom to start a bath for the two of you.

you let him lay back against your chest as you played with his hair. he nearly fell asleep because of how soothing the bath salts were, those were his favorites during your aftercare routine.

after you both dried your bodies off, you made sure to dry his hair for him, something he's become rather accustomed to. he just loved you playing with his hair, in all reality.

laying back in bed, his head back on your chest, you still played with his hair.

"spencer?" you asked, continuing on when you heard the quiet hum from him. "you know how much i love you?" he nodded against your body. "good. because i want you to know that no matter what you look like, super thin or a bit filled out, i will always love you. and you can always come to me about that too. if you're feeling insecure or upset?"

"i know. i was just... embarrassed about it," he mumbled against your skin.

"i know, bunny. but i'll show you that there's nothing to be embarrassed about."

[enamouredfae]

♡ Pick a Card ♡

What you need to know in order to be ready for the love you so longingly seek!

This reading is looking at anything you might need to heal or grow into in order to enter future relationships as your higher self. I am not looking at your future, but simply trying to guide you towards your highest good in the field of love. Many of us have internalized certain perceptions of love that we must unlearn, or have lived through difficult moments which have closed us off or made experiencing love more difficult. If you are in a toxic relationship/situation, please do not take any messages that might seem to tell you to stay in it. With this reading, I will hopefully open you up to some introspection and hopefully growth. You may very well be attracted to multiple piles and that is ok! Read all that attract you and take what resonates. Each pile has three pieces of advice, so mixing and matching is invited!

This reading is for entertainment purposes only.

This is a timeless reading for the collective, therefore it is likely that some messages will not resonate with you. Please only take the messages that do! The messages that do not, are meant for somebody else. Remember that the future is never set in stone and that you possess free will! Love you! ♡

Pile 1

Charm: Knot

1. Yang

Yang tells me that you need to learn to become more proactive in love. You cannot wait around. You must act! You need to manifest your desires into the material world by doing. It's perfectly fine to do the first move, no matter what society deems "acceptable", it is even invited with this card.

23. Peace

Radical acceptance is necessary for inner peace and in this case for a higher love. You must first love yourself fully, light and shadow self, before loving someone else in the way that you both deserve! And you deserve radical acceptance, we are all flawed and intricate people! As long as we are willing to change and grow and put in the work, past mistakes can be atoned for.

38. To be fair

This card tells me that you need to learn to be more balanced in relationships. Are you giving more than the other parties? Are you giving less? We must be fair to both others and ourselves. When someone in the relationship gives more, they may feel underappreciated which can become unmotivating, but they can also overwhelm the other person. You must learn balance.

Pile 2

Charm: Cactus

7. To the sea (reversed)

"When fishermen cannot go to sea, they stay at home and repair their nets." This is a quote from the guidebook that I had to rewrite here because it encapsulates the advice perfectly. You probably long for love like fishermen long for the sea. This card is telling me that the problem isn't coming from you, but the external world. An idea that just popped up in my head is a queer teen living in a homophobic area or with homophobic parents, so it is likely that this could be your situation. If it is, I love you, please take care of yourself, love and better days will come, don't worry! But you must wait a while longer until the external world matches your vibration, perhaps you'll have to move, wait until you're safe to go out to the sea. Until then, go with the flow.

50. No place like home (reversed)

This card seems to work perfectly with the previous one, it reminds us that what is familiar isn't always the best, because it keeps us from growing. If you want change, you can't keep going to the same things/people that haven't worked before, it's counterintuitive. It is natural to go back to what's familiar, but try something new. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Choose unfamiliar.

34. A leg up (reversed)

You are carrying the burden of your world all alone. You probably don't feel safe sharing what you feel, or are very uncomfortable with vulnerability. To be honest with you, right before writing this part of the reading, I started tearing up, you are holding in so much hurt... You need to voice your struggles, being vulnerable is proof of immense strength, believe me! I know it's hard! Start little by little with someone you really trust!

Pile 3

Charm: Star

35. Loyal Heart

Ok if one pile is ready for the beginning of a relationship it's this one. It is the perfect time for you to create loyal commitments. It is possible that you are already in a committed relationship, but at the very least you are surrounded by loyal, devoted people. Don't forget to be devoted and loyal in return!

4. Higher Power (reversed)

This card is inviting you to trust in whatever divine power you believe in, trust that the universe is divinely guiding you and protecting you. I feel like if a certain religion or spiritual path attracts or fascinates you, you should start looking into it, careful with being disrespectful or appropriating it, especially with closed practices, please do your research! But connecting to Source would be beneficial to you in the long run!

25. Round and Round

You are stuck in a cycle that you must break. Do not worry, you shouldn't feel bad, it's all part of the learning process. Remember: you've been through this before, think back on how that made you feel the previous times, are you sure you want to go through that again? Breaking this cycle is a form of self-care, and you need to care for yourself! You are subconsciously punishing yourself by staying in this cycle, try thinking about the root of why you're doing so! It could help you in breaking it!

Pile 4

Charm: "Love"

8. The tribe

You may want to find your tribe, or you have recently found it. You might feel like you finally belong, or are longing for that feeling. Whenever I get this card, I think of the astrology/witchcraft/tarot community here! It may be the same for you! You are welcome here, and hopefully, you feel like you belong! Contributing to any community that you are passionate about, whether online or in real life, will bring you great joy and satisfaction. Your tribe awaits and needs you! It's possible that that's where you'll find love as well!

6. Not for you (reversed)

Let them go. Whoever you first thought of, it's time to stop obsessing over them. "Don't chase after what flees you." I'm sure you realize this is not serving you, but how do you stop? This card is suggesting radical acceptance and surrender, that this is a sign that someone or something much better is waiting for you. I suggest reminding yourself that they aren't perfect and that you have just come to idealize them.

52. Mending (reversed)

You are very likely going through a grieving period right now. There is so much hurt and disappointment. "Heartbreak is a strange healer of souls." It may feel awful now, but trust that when you look back one day, you will see that the hurt you're feeling now, transformed you in a powerful way. This card is inviting you to accept the heartbreak and push through it, situations like this open us up to seeing the world in a new way, to growing. Better days are coming!

Pile 5

Charm: Angel

28. Building blocks (reversed)

Are you acting according to your belief system? Are you following the advice you give others? You must look carefully at your core foundation. It seems to me that you have done a lot of inner growth, but are still stuck in your old ways. Your outer self isn't matching your inner self. Start doing what you preach!

47. Go the distance

I feel like you're someone that wants love right now! For it to come fast and smoothly, like a sprint. You must learn to see love more realistically, as a long-distance race of endurance. You may be the type to immediately run at the sight of a problem. You must learn to be dedicated and work in love, it won't always be the idealized version you keep reading about or watching. Love demands work!

32. Here and Now (reversed)

You live in the past, don't you? So much regret and nostalgia... Or perhaps you live in the future? Daydreams and ambition. There is a need to learn to live in the here and now, you cannot change the past, and the future is infinite. They're both elusive, and unreliable; now is tangible, real, and full of immediate possibilities.

Pile 6

Charm: Mars Symbol

22. Blessed

This beautiful card talks about an unexpected and "unearned" wonderful event, that seems like divine intervention, a gift from the universe. The advice I take from this card is to practice gratitude because you seem to be blessed in the love department. Perhaps you already know who "the one" is for you. If you don't, trust that the universe has someone wonderful for you!

31. Why?

Ask yourself why you feel as you do about/in love? It is time for some introspection. You need to think and identify unhealthy patterns in your love life. Why do you act as you do in a relationship? Identify what in your past has caused this behavior. It won't solve the problem right away, but it's a good first step. Understanding the problem will be validating.

27. Exchanging gifts (reversed)

"Be careful what you pray for because you might just get it." You need to be ready for the energy exchange that will happen if this happens. This card talks about an imbalance between giving and receiving. You must learn that if you receive a lot, you must return a lot, love needs to be balanced. If you give more, you aren't actually in control, the other party could be consciously or unconsciously taking advantage of your generosity!

Pile 7

Charm: Eternally Open Heart Locket

17. The Fates

You must learn to accept that there are things and people you simply cannot control and change. You cannot blame yourself for things beyond your control, nor can you blame others for things they cannot control. Just be wise enough to tell the difference between things one can control and things one cannot!! If you have a tendency to mold people into your ideal, making them lose their essence, you must learn to accept people for who they are. It is not your job to change them: the desire to change must come from them, for them.

15. Message in a bottle

Try asking for specific signs from the universe, or start becoming more aware of them. Synchronicities are all around you, they're the way that the universe confirms that you're on the right path! Listen carefully to those you communicate with, they could be delivering a cledon to you. This card itself is a good sign, a favorable answer to the question occupying your mind.

9. Treasure Island

You might've already, but if you haven't, MANIFEST YOUR LOVE!! You will be greatly rewarded when you embrace the law of attraction and your intuition. Depending on your belief in how manifestation works, try being mindful of free will! If you believe that love spells on specific people are influencing their free will, then it is immoral to manifest a specific person. If you don't believe that that is how manifestation works, do as you will, just be in line with your beliefs! This card is also a great sign, you're on the right path, and have good fortune on your side. Very lucky pile!!

Pile 8

Charm: Boot

2. Yin (reversed)

You must learn to receive, only being the giver isn't good for you. You deserve to receive! Be open to embodying yin and yang equally. "You stop the flow of abundance when you constantly insist upon being the giver." Be the listener, the one that learns, the one that is being led.

33. Chaos and Conflict

You may be afraid of chaos and conflict, but you must remember that they can rid you of what's no longer serving you. Conflict also implies two sides, remember that yours isn't the only one, and conflict can lead to mutual understanding. Learn to put up boundaries, but also to respect those of others. When you finally see the potential of healing that conflict can cause, you'll be ready for mature communication in relationships.

20. Imagine

Remember that you can create what you imagine! Your imagination is powerful in manifesting your desires, but it can't do everything for you! Manifestation is work, when an opportunity arises, act! This card can also be a sign that the person you're manifesting will be entering your life soon. When they appear, don't just wait, and daydream! The imagination part of manifesting is done, now it's time to act.

Pile 9

Charm: Knife

21. Clean it up

It's time to let go and declutter your mind. Think about what is no longer serving you, about the things that only overwhelm you, and make you overthink, they aren't good for you. It might also help you to declutter in general, your house, your closet, your phone, your feed, etc. Make room for the new and the better.

48. Poised (reversed)

Think carefully, are you really ready for love right now? Because this card is telling me that you aren't. It's ok to be a "late bloomer", and it's important to be ready for love, as to not hurt the one you love, and yourself. Being single isn't a sign of "failure", it gives you the time and space to focus on yourself, on your growth, on your healing, on exploring and understanding yourself. Being single can seem like a curse, but it's a blessing, it's what you need right now.

16. All that glitters

Are you being yourself in love? Are they? Don't succumb to the power of superficiality. Either let go of the mask or look beyond theirs! "Imagine that all the glitter is gone. Would you still desire the object or person?" If one falls for the glitter, what will happen on the day they forgets to glue it on?

Thank you for reading! Love you all.♡

You can buy me a coffee if you feel called to do so! This is never necessary, but always appreciated! ♡

[candlestickbud]

Worthy of Betrayal Pt.1

Howzer x Jedi!GN:Reader [Ep.11 Spoilers]

Description: After the bad batch drop off the weapons to a client of Cid’s, she calls them in for a favor and asks them to help some royal Twi’leks on Ryloth.

Warnings/Notes: I'm predicting that this fic will have 5 parts. Possible smut in the future. Mentions of guns and child kidnapping, minor cussing. Sorry if the story is a little off, I was in a rush to finish. Hope you still like it though!

“What do you mean we have to go back!”

Hunter rose his voice at Cid from the comms on the ship. We were on our way back to Ord Mantel after dropping off weapons to some Twi’leks, a client of Cids. As they were already halfway to the destination, Cid called up the batch to inform us that we had to go back, but this time the location was on Ryloth.

“Hey, you still owe me, remember? Now tell goggles over there to get to Ryloth. I need you to rescue this kid named Hera Syndula, the twi’leks, her parents run Ryloth so we’ll be getting some big bucks, so I suggest you get moving, got that?”

Hunter sighed, “Mind telling us what we have to do to get out of dept?”

“Tell you what, let's say you don't mess this up, and you'll be out of debt. Just fell the big guy to ease up on the mantel mix, wouldya, ” Cid said before hanging up.

Hunter rubbed his face trying to shake off his tiredness.

“What's the word, Sargent, ” Wrecker asked.

“Tell Tech to relocate the route to Ryloth. We have another mission, but this is a mission we can't mess up. We need to save some senators kid.”

“Another senator? They aren't a separatist, are they? There's no way-”

“I didn't ask, and either way we have to take this job to get us out of that debt, ” Hunter cut off Echo, “and besides it's not a senator, just their kid.”

Echo glared at Hunter, “Well you should understand why I plan to not work with separatists, ” he said pointing his cybernetic socket arm at Hunter.

“Wait so who are we saving, ” Omega asked from her room.

Hunter pushed his way past Echo to talk to Omega, hearing Echo scoff as he walked away.

“That kid from earlier,” Hunter said softly.

“Hera? I knew she was in trouble! How can I help,” Onega exclaimed excitedly?

“I’ll let up know once we land. The empire will be there based on what that client said earlier. That's what they needed those weapons for.”

“That could mean that Crosshair would be there, ” Tech yelled from the piloting seat.

“Good! We need to talk some sense into him, get him home, ” Wrecker said.

“I don't think he wants to come home, ” Hunter said coldly.

“Doesn't matter, we need to get him back and remove his chip or whatever.”

Hunter opener his mouth to say something back, but instead walked away to the pilot's seat.

“We should at least try to save him, ” you said sternly.

“Cant save someone that doesn't want to be saved, ” Hunter barked back.

“In case to haven't noticed, we don't know what he wants. That chip is controlling him!”

“I agree with Y/N, ” Wrecker barged in.

“That's not the mission.”

•••

Howzer took off his helmet to ruffle his hair. It was a humid night on the planet of Ryloth, and he's been running around trying to capture a child named Hera with a squad of clone troopers.

“Hey boss, do we stun her or shoot.”

“Stun! She's a child, has some empathy. Besides, I'm sure they want her alive, otherwise, we have no leverage over Cham.”

“You got it, captain.”

There was silence as the squad walked through the place, flashlight in hands and visors on night vision mode as they searched for the child. This seemed very wrong to Howzer. What would the empire want with a child if they already have Cham? Leverage, but for what? They don't plan on hurting the kid, do they?

“What do you think they'll do with the kid, ” Howzer asked his squad.

“Who cared, she's a traitor to the empire. She's lucky she isn't dead yet. Speaking of traitors, don't we have orders to kill whoever betrays the empire?”

“What? That's ridiculous, we should just imprison them, and still, she's a child, soldier. We aren't killing her, ” Howzer scoffed.

The squad quietly whispered to each other. Suddenly a ship hovered over them, landing a few feet behind where they were.

“Stay cautious, that could be their backup.”

“Shoot to kill or stun, ” a trooper asked.

“Stun. I won't tell you again, ” Howser said through gritted teeth.

“Whatever you say, Captain, ” the trooper said with an annoyed tone.

Howzer placed his helmet back onto his head, getting his gun ready and placing it in stun mode.

“I have eyes on them!”

The troopers began shooting blindly at a group of troopers, a Jedi standing in front of then reflecting the shots with a child behind them.

“Hold your fire, ” Howzer exclaimed.

The troopers ignore him.

“I said, hold your fire!”

The troopers looked at each other in confusion and disgust.

“They're wanted by the empire! We need to kill them, they're traitors.”

The troopers began shooting live rounds at the squad.

“But they have a child with them! Stop!”

Howzer put his gun in the gun holder that held itself on his waist, pushing a trooper back. One by one, the trooper squad of 5 became the squad of 2.

“You're not fit enough to be Captain! You're a trait of to the empire! We have to kill them, now!”

“No! This is wrong and you know it! Snap out of it how can you not see that this is wrong, ” Howzer said before being pushed to the ground by Hunter.

“See what you did! You're a traitor, ” the trooper said trying to shake out of Wrecker's grasp.

“You, be quiet, ” you yelled at the trooper.

You walked up to Howzer, cocking your head to the side slightly.

“Hunter, there's something wrong with his chip.”

Hunter looked up at you, scrunching his eyebrows together, “How can you be so sure?”

“He seems...different I can feel it.”

Hunter looked at you and then back ah Howzer, grabbed him by the shoulders, and pushed him up to his feet. You walked towards Howzer and removed his helmet, eyes widening, surprised with how attractive the clone was. You looked at him, placing your hands on his face, inspecting him. Howzer attempted to back off, but Hunter held him in place. He flinched as you placed a hand near the left side of his head, closing your eyes as you felt his chip through the force. You opened your eyes, staring into his eyes, only for him to nervously look away.

“He has his chip, but it's damaged, ” you looked at Hunter as if you were asked for permission.

“Fine. You deal with him. We cat have him running back to the empire to inform them of our arrival. We can't have any attention, this is a stealth mission. We need to focus on saving the kid, ” Hunter said, shoving Howzer towards you.

You caught Howzer and placed your lightsaber close to his face, only for him to flinch against it, his head laying on your shoulder, “Try anything stupid and I'll kill you on sight, got that?”

“I thought that wasn't the Jedi way, ” he said with caution.

You retracted your saber and placed it back on your holders, “There is no Jedi way, ” you scoffed, putting his helmet back on. You knew it would possibly be a distraction to you.

“What do I do with him, ” Wrecker asked, picking up the trooper he held captive.

“Woah, ” the trooper yelped.

Hunter looked at Howzer and then the trooper.

“His chip is active,” you said.

Hunter paused for a second in thought, “Stun him. Look, we’ll look over here, you and Omega look over there, that way we’ll have a better chance of finding the kid.”

“You got it. Cmon, Omega, let's get ahead of them. I think Hera will be pleased to see that you're the one rescuing her, ” you said as you pushed Howzer forward, grabbing Omega’s hand as you led her away, Hunter stunning the clone from behind.

You and Omega stared at Howzer as you walked through the gravel trail.

“Uhm...Why do you two keep starring at me,” he asked.

“To make sure you don't try anything funny, ” you lied.

“Your chip isn't working. That's pretty rare for a clone, ” Omega explained.

“What is this chip that you guys keep talking about?”

You sighed, ” Well, the clones, you included, have these chips that were implanted in you when you were, I think a stage 1 embryo?”

“Stage 2,” Omega corrected.

You chuckled, “A stage 2 embryo, and these chips were implanted in you by the Emperor to have you murder the Jedi. Nearly all of them were killed during order 66. I survived it by chance.”

“Oh…so that’s what that was. I’m sorry.”

You looked at Howzer in confusion, “W-What?”

“I’m sorry. That must’ve been hard to go through I had no idea. When I was out on a mission, we were working with a Jedi and just out of no where, everyone aimed their blasters at the General. They had told us they were traitors to the republic, betrayed the Chancellor.”

“Yeah, that’s because we found out he betrayed us. He was working with Count Dooku.”

Howzer shook his head in disappointment, “You must hate us then, clones.”

You looked at Howzer, sighing as you let go of his shoulder, “No, I don’t. The clones, it’s not their fault, what they did. They’re all being controlled by these chips, being controlled by the empire. I made my peace with the clones once I got informed of this by the batch.”

Howzer walked by your side, “So those troops back there, their chips are also defected?”

“They were, but we got help with removing them. Having the chips mean that’s you’re still a threat. They could activate at any time.”

“Why not stun me? Like him back there.”

You thought for a moment, “Just because your chip isn’t activated doesn’t mean your not with the empire. For all we know you could still be loyal to them. We didn’t wanna risk the possibility of activating your chip, and we couldn't have you go off to the empire.”

“Oh. What do you uh plan on doing with me once you find the kid?”

“If I’m being completely honest with you, I’m not sure.”

“Well, that’s reassuring,” he chuckled nervously.

He scratched the back of his neck, looking at you as if hesitant to ask a question.

“I can feel you looking at me. What is it?”

Howzer looked away, “U-Uhm I was just uh…” he stuttered, “Uhm, where were you? During order 66.”

You smiled at his struggle, a smile still placed on your face when he asked the question.

“I uh I was actually in my ship. It was on a mission I was in with my droid to Ord Mantel, I was supposed to get intel on this bounty Hunter I’ve been hunting down. My droid saved me from the clones.”

“Lucky you weren’t assigned with a squad.”

You chuckled, “Yeah really.”

You and Howzer heard rustling from a bush that was up ahead. Howzer got in front of you, trying to take a closer look.

“Come out! We know you're there,” Howzer yelled.

You grabbed Howzer’s shoulder, “Maybe you should keep it down. If it’s Hera, she could be scared since you are supposed to be hunting her down,” you rolled your eyes in his idiocy.

“Oh, uh, right, ” he backed up.

Howzer removed his helmet. He's very well aware that citizens are often scared of the armor rather than what's underneath it. You glanced and him in admiration until you heard the bush rustle again.

“Hera? It's me and Omega, remember? We were selling those weapons to your uncle, ” you said calmly.

Slowly peaking out from the bush, you saw Hera’s head, “Omega?”

Omega waved at her, “Hello,” she smiled.

Hera got out from the bush, “What are you doing here?”

“We’re here to rescue you.”

Hera looked at Howzer with wide eyes, “H-He’s”

“Not with the empire,” Howzer said confidently, “Not anymore that is.”

“They’ll kill you,” Hera said walking towards Howzer.

“Not unless they catch me,” He smiled, patting her head.

You smiled at his kind act, “Hunter, we found Hera. We’re on our way back,” you looked at Howzer, “What are we going to do with...,” you whispered into your commlink.

“Hey! I never got your name, ” you said nervously.

“Oh! Uh, the name’s Howzer, ” he smiled, “What about you?”

You chuckled, “In your dreams, pal.”

“What are we going to do with Howzer, the clone.”

You heard Hunter sigh into his commlink, “We’ll stun him when we leave. Take him back with you in case we get spotted.”

“Hunter, we can't just leave him here. Hera knows him, he could be useful to us.”

There was no reply.

“Hunter?”

“Yeah, ” he sighed, “I'm here. Look just get over here we’ll talk when you get back.”

You walked over to Howzer with a smirk on your face, “Lucky you, Hunter doesn't want to kill you, ” you swung your arm over his shoulders, “Now you're really fucked.”

Howzer looked at you like a confused dog, “What do you mean? What you think I can’t handle a couple of clones and a Jedi?”

You laughed, “We ain’t your typical squad,” you smirked.

He got in your face, “Try me. I’ve been with many squads. What’s so different about you guys?”

You inched closer to his face, “I guess you’ll have to find out.”

There was a pause until the both of you burst out laughing.

“Cmon, we gotta get back to them.”

“You got it, General.”

You stopped in your tracks, looking back at Howzer. You were going to say something but decided to let it go.

“Cmon girls. We have to get back to the ship.”

“Coming, ” they said laughing.

•••

“I never noticed how nice your hair is, ” you said ruffling Howzer’s hair.

He kindly swatted your hand away, “Thanks, ” he said while rolling his eyes.

You looked at his face, eyes scanning over his scars. You choose not to ask him about them. Not yet anyway. The girls whispered and giggles to each other throughout the walk to the marauder.

“What are you two talking about?”

“Nothing, ” they chuckled devilishly.

Both you and Howzer looked at them questionably, the at each other.

You shook your head, “Kids, huh?”

“Reminds me of my younger days, making fun of brothers for having a crush. Of course, that was before order 66. Good memories.”

The four of you continued to walk and began to see the ship, with Hunter sitting at the entrance of the ship.

“Took you long enough, ” he said as he got up, “We need to talk.”

You nodded, “Ladies, ” you smiled down at Omega and Hera, “into the ship. Omega show Hera our little secret since she’ll be with us for a bit.”

“Ooh! Good idea. Hera, follow me.”

The two children ran their way into the marauder, Howzer squatting down on the floor, patiently waiting for an invitation inside. Hunter grabbed you and pulled you off to the side, away from Howzer.

“Look I don't want to take him with us. He seems sketchy.”

You sighed and nodded in agreement, “Yes, I know but I'm sure he means well. I'll look after him but Hunter, something tells me that we can trust him. Howzer seems like a good guy. Hera seems to trust him and she knew him when he was working with her dad.”

Hunter looked at Howzer to see him awkwardly wave at him.

Hunter cursed, “Fine, but if anything and I mean anything, happens, he's off the ship.”

You nodded, giddily walking over to Howzer, then clapping your hand on his shoulder.

“What’re you doing just standing here like an idiot? C’mon,” you snickered.

“Well, excuse me for trying to be polite, ” he smiled, Hunter glaring him down as you all entered the ship.