#just thinking a bit before i sleep | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

noxtivagus · 2 years

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hmm

#tbd #just thinking a bit before i sleep #today was mostly a good day but. i think i'm still tired yeah i feel like disappearing #just. sit by the sand n watch the waves. lose myself in the sight n the sound n #just sit there until the sun comes up n #thought abt it n i haven't been doing well at all lately but fiction's been a great comfort. n. stuff online in general like my friends her #i think that nightmare i had of being completely replaced n forgotten hurt me more than i thought. burying the pain was a mistake but i #don't want to make others worry #n.. that feeling of worthlessness n regret n feeling lost n utterly confused. forgetting myself n everything #peaked 2 nights ago. when i.. nah when i accidentally did That yeah #i really don't want to think about it anymore but i know it isn't smth i shld just keep to myself but #it.. haunts me so much. whether i reach out or not it'll hurt. n i'm willing to just shoulder the pain alone. i'm used to it anyways #n i'm so confused bcs despite my disposition or wtvr when it comes to reality. fiction tells me a different story #both are truths. they can coexist n they do but #goddamn i don't want to think of it anymore. i just want to.. live in that moment forever #those moments. under the starry sky. the cold night that warmed my heart or #the sight of the dawn this morning. the moon n the horizon. the clouds yonder n #dusk earlier as well. the wonder i felt for life as a whole; a feeling i missed all too dearly #time's going by far too fast. listening to edge of dawn is making me emotional rn oh my god #december's nearly over. the year is. so much is on the horizon n i'm both simultaneously anticipant & hesitant to face it all #it's a bittersweet feeling when you're living n going about your day like i've been recently but it feels like a dream #n soon i'll wake up. the gentle rays of the early morning sun will quickly turn into scorching heat. n then #i'm tired of writing even though i cld add more to that but hmm. the cycle goes on n on. morning then night then the morrow comes once more #until a point where all these days accumulate n.. yeah #yk what i'll just go to sleep instead. i'll just do more tmrrw n. yeah. i'll try to stop or distract myself before these thoughts get #too much like two nights ago or smth. i'll try to sleep peacefully tonight #distract myself from some aspects of reality in just this moment temporarily.#despite how tired i am i'm still so hesitant to rest n sleep but i'll push myself to do it now. gn. i'll just do more tomorrow

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hinamie · 2 months

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I don't want to regret the way I lived

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #fanart #jjk fanart #jujutsu kaisen fanart #yuji itadori #gojo satoru #nobara kugisaki #nanami kento #choso kamo #junpei yoshino #jjk leaks #jjk spoilers #jjk manga spoilers #this idea started as a 2 part series . then my braincells decided to spark and supplied 7 PAGES #'did you sleep hina' no #ws looking up mentally stable things like 'who has died in jjk' smh i love my hyperfixation media im sooooo glad so many ppl r DEAD #i *could* have included more ppl but i think this is a good crew. this is a yuuji emotional support crew #also Was gna include his grandpa final panel but i Did Not Want To #he is implied through th dialogue #side note i donot like how i cn see this scenario playing out . ..yuuji this isnt ur stop u r monopoly voice Just Visiting ok >:(#anyway I broke my own heart with this and ik i hyped it up a lot but i hope that its not just me...#hope i did not hype it up fr nothing and no one else finds it devastating :((((( that would b humbling in the worst way #pls ...join the happy party train.......i hate it here i suffered pls :<<<<#also !!!! colours in this !! i cooked i fear . adding th first bit of warm hitting yuuji's face after th first 2 panels....#ive never had that kind of experience while drawing before it was wild . painful ! but wild.#the whole transition from p 2->3 might b the most emotionally moving piece ive ever made to me #not 2 sing my own praises tho i will shut up ! i wil. nap

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daily-sifloop · 3 months

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Stargazing? ✨

Day 10: looking for your star

#isat #in stars and time #sifloop #isat siffrin #siffrin isat #day 10 #desert art #do you ever think about postgame. about how loop isn't there. about how the only thing they left behind was a coin.#do the trees feel lonely now. is there a feeling that somebody should be sitting under them.#siffrin doesn't know what happened to loop. where did they disappear to? can they try spotting them in the night sky?#what do they have left aside from hoping that the Universe leads them to meet each other again?#anyway this little thing was based on a short piece I wrote after finishing the game #full of siffrin longing and pining #look at this sad siffrin #what a sad fuck #the wettest siffrin I've ever drawn #yeah I'd be sad too if loop disappeared #i am sad #They're so sad. and you're sad. and I'm sad #btw writing these tags on the last bits of my fast wifi before I'll be living off of the slow slow wifi on my vacation #this will be posted when I'm already on my vacation #I've got drawings for the next 4 asks including this one and then it's personal promts backlog era #i will post this in the morning and then forget entirely what i wrote in tags at 3am in the airport #it will happen just watch me #god I'm so sleepy #hi this is desert after 8 hours of sleep both in the airplane and bus #we're fucked. the wifi is paid #figuring out how to queue

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demonir · 4 months

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I like them a whole lot 💜

#tf2 #tf2 fanart #team fortress 2 #tf2 medic #tf2 engineer #science party #engiemedic #digital art #artists on tumblr #you can see these as platonic if you want #anyways theyve just been on my brain a lot and i needed to get them out #im a peach fuzz engie truther sorry #hed only be like that for like a week every 2 months but that wouldnt stop me from drawing it anyways #also my medic drawings are so fucking inconsistent i am so sorry it will happen again #his eyebrows are always fire tho #my tablet died when i was nearly finishing the second drawing so i had to color it with my mouse SOBS #i think medic looks a bit twinkish in the second pic and i hate it but im too tired to fix it #also tablet not working as i mentioned before #anyways goodnight im going to sleep (it is 6 pm)#demos art

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luck-of-the-drawings · 4 months

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[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #jrwi riptide spoilers #JUST NOTICED A MILLION MISTAKES FUUUUUUUUCK BUT WWHATEVERRRRR IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA HHUURRRLLL #SO I REALLY LIKE FISH AND CHIPS RIGHT. IVE BEEN IN LOVE W THE SHIP EVER SINCE THAT NAT 20 KISS #BUT I THINK I SHIP IT WRONG. OR LIKE. I AM CORRECT BUT EVERYONE SHIPS THEM DIFFERENTLY #THE FISH N CHIPS I SEE EVERYWHERE ELSE IS SO FLOWERY AND SWEET AND ROMANTIC. AND THATS NICE! THAT STUFFS NEAT #but gillion and chip would NEVERRRR enter anything similar to a romantic relationship. chips too damaged and gillions too uninterested #I LIKE MY FISH N CHIPS ONE SIDED AS FUCK #bc 2 gillion chip is his best friend in the whole wide world but hes also kinduvagross little man that took him a MINUTE to really warm up2 #but to CHIP gillion is this powerful and gorgeous and heroic paragon of destiny and his best friend in the whole world who will #bring about the eschaton. 'i didnt believe in destiny until i met you' until i met a champion radiating with a light thatll alter the world #OHH REMEMBER THE FIRST ICE ARENA?he was so mad.still probably shaking from the ordeal.NEVER had he felt true divine radiance CLEAVE through #his SOUL like that.do you remember that moment in the forest w the bugs. an alien from the ocean; lacerating the land w lightning #when the realization flickered in chip for a moment.that the thing standing before him was more powerful than he could ever fathom #remember when grizz mentioned that the nat20 kiss was the 'best kiss chip ever experienced'. that has nothing to do w this. where was i.#LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. BUT HEY. I THINK at the beginning chip absolutely knew that gill was smth grand n powerful n scary #when gillion revealed what exactly the prophecy was;chip got defensive and mad.sure he was sleep deprived but OOH. HES SCARED!#he believes gillion too! he believes that his destiny is to eradicate either the sea or land and that scares him!#but then he gets past it bc ultimately he trusts his bestfriend gillion so so much. he fuckin loves this dude.#he would throw himself intothe path of fire for this dude. he would boat across the ocean for this dude.he would build arenas for this dude #even if this dude will end half the world.even if this dude wields the power and the obligation to eradicate him at any second.#even if this dude is going to throw himself into harms way for his own comrades.even if this dude is just going to sacrifice himself.#one way or another one shall die for the other.these self-sacrificial bastards click so well with eachother!!#chip believes his body is best used to pave roads and gill believes his body is destined to pave prosperity.WHATEVER!!#i really love their dynamic!! they care for eachother so much!in MY heart tho. the icing on the cake here is the fantasy that chip is #just a bit more In Love w gillion than he realizes. like this powerful fish guy is HOT and PRETTY and KIND and FUNNY and LOYAL and STRONG #but gillion would never rly feel that same sort of attraction towards chip. its just not rly his thing. aroace as fuck man.#thats how it is in MY little heart atleast. and i sit here and play w my touys in my brain n i explore my silly lil one sided fish y chips.

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paperglader · 3 months

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it hit me again yesterday- literally as i was about to fall asleep- how stupidly cute it is that marisha as beau randomly burst out "i could be her beacon [that guides her home]" all awkward and earnest about jester, for then one campaign later, finally, laura as imogen come back to her with "you're my tether, laudna. sometimes i feel like i’m about to float away, but as long as you’re there" and i just think that's beautiful and another reminder of how in so many ways CR continues to be endless love letters from the cast to each other.

#i just think that marisha and laura's friendship is so stinkingly cute #the way that marisha spoke about her in the fire side chat made my heart squeeze a bit #they just all love each other so much #and i do find it super sweet but also funny cause of the outcome how they wanted to portray a very close female friendship with imodna #cause they wanted to represent something like what they have #obviously imodna ended up being too star-crossed for that to happen but the gesture is still sweet #yes i did get into a bit of a beaujester brainrot before sleep yesterday but that's not the point of this #the fact that that fandom is not more active is still a crime tbh #i don't care about canon give me the fanfiction #btw i have not actually seen c2 but that is my understanding of what she said about being her beacon? if not then oh well #southern gothic #imodna #critical role #beaujester #beauregard lionett #jester lavorre #imogen temult #laudna #marisha ray #laura bailey

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miutonium · 8 months

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The weird nerd in a labcoat that you talk to every week at the diner appears in front of your door with a rose in his hand wwyd?

#naurrr he's not a creep they already went out before and send chloe to her door before its just this time he wanted to make a cute gesture #like he just knocks on her door asking if she's up for another date lol #i feel a bit anxious about posting my art here all of sudden ngl skdjekaoa staphhhh #like partially idc what ppl thinks but also i care if ppl like me enough skdjskal stop 5 am brainnn #anyway omg i swear its only been 3 weeks since I last opened my csp and im crying i missed drawing waghsgsjqk 😭😭😭#i have a few more days to endure im so excited about resting and continuing my overdue commission wagjhsksakhq #but i do need a warm up though since i feel like im slowing down zzzzz #okay me sleep now snork mimimimimimimi #asukart #selfship #selfshipping #selfship art #selfshipping community #selfship community #self insert oc #self insert art #self insert community #oc x canon #si x canon #professor utonium #ppg professor

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mabaris · 3 months

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“men are always willing to believe two things about a woman: one, that she is weak, and two, that she finds him attractive.”

truly insane to have a character say this and then make them actually attracted to men in any capacity. btw.

#dragon age #morrigan dragon age #i know i’ve said this before #captain holt voice. and you’ll hear it again!!#like listen. i know it would change the implications of the ritual. but clearly they’ve already considered #that you can have sex with people you’re not attracted to bc she can sleep with an unromanced warden or alistair or loghain #yknow it just ties into the whole. my mother raised me to be a certain type of way but that’s not me #i really like her friendship w a female warden and feel like it’s a good romance on-ramp but it would also be thematically interesting #if she were asexual #but i know 1) leliana was originally supposed to be a lesbian and that didn’t fly #and 2) if it was on their radar even a little bit. they would have avoided it bc of Problematic Implications #ie discourse about corrective rape. even though she’s the one who initiates it and makes it very clear. if she’s not in a romance with #that character. that it’s just doing a job that needs to be done and there is no emotional attachment there #i also think. perhaps. they could have done something different for the ritual ESPECIALLY if they’re going to call it that #like obviously it’s a fade to black scenario but persistently calling it a ritual makes me think there’s something Else that happens too #maybe lean into that #anyway i’m just saying there’s workarounds for these excuses i made up lmao #mine #morrigan

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moeblob · 9 months

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#fe fates #camilla #so i actually drew this a while ago but was gonna shade it and do more emoji things #but welp uh hmmmm im sick and apparently look like I'm dying #which isnt a problem until i sit down to draw and my vision is blurry and yeah thats a problem #so i just attempted to do a doodle and then failed and opted to apply a tiny but of shading to this and give up #but yup uh after a nice of body aches and misery and trying to sleep and failing #i crashed from 10am to 5pm thinking id just rest a lil bit #before anyone says oh you could have taken a day off you know - i technically can yes youre right #however my brain uses art as a coping mech and i need that coping mech really bad right now #which is why i stopped trying to draw something new for today and just went back to a past thing #im not overdoing it i promise #even if my mom and sister think i look like death walking around

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xbraveheartx · 11 months

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Suddenly smacked in the face by the implication of Romeo's message where he says "I remember you, so there's no reason for us to fight. I suppose."

I always thought the wording was weird, but didn't think too much on it... Until recently after we discussed some datamined stuff in the Carmeo/Promeo server. There's a scrapped line (where P was supposed to speak) that says "I may not remember, but I'm still your son" during the NP fight, and while the scrapped lines are their own can of worms, let's focus on the memory parts.

I had always thought that once a puppet woke up, they would just get their memories back. But the fact seems to be this: There are select memories that come back to give bits and pieces of their past that "wake" them up-- cause them to change, as we see with P and the necklace; As we see from the spliced memories at the Black Seaside. However, it might not be all one's memories that come back. Whether those spaces stay blank or come back over time, who knows.

What I'm trying to get at here is...

Romeo's memories might only consist of Carlo at the time of waking. Carlo was what woke Romeo-- "I remember you"-- He had the necklace, he knew from who it was; He recognized the face P was modeled after. "So there's no reason for us to fight, I suppose"-- there's a lack of confidence in the wording here. Friends aren't supposed to fight, right? That's what his memory tells him, at least.

And the only memories P tends to get in regards to his past? Those in relation to Romeo, his aspirations, and of his own death. Seemingly, these are the things most important to him.

They were the most important people to each other; They remembered each other, just one too late than the other.

#Lies of P #Lies of P Spoilers #The “I may not remember” part hit me like a sack of BRICKS before I went to bed and I was like #“Oh shit oh fuck oh shit wait what oh sHIT--” fhsddfd I was way too invested in everything else at the time #and then that hit me. And then Romeo's message hit me. And the necklace flavor text and his ergo flavor text.#And I just went-- “Does Romeo... JUST remember things relating to Carlo?... Would he.. not remember other specific stuff?”#And it all crashed down on me and I suddenly had to draft the thought real quick on my phone before sleeping on it adhdfs #But wow. Yeah. I. It makes sense?? Like... maybe they don't remember everything at all just bits and pieces. Or maybe they do with time.#Both paths are good and interesting tbh I should...incorporate that in my stuff~ mmmMMMMMMM VERY COOL TO THINK ABOUT #and painful. So and so painful uGH I LOVE THEM

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hazelnutnebula · 2 years

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i dont even go here (yet) but i like the sopping wet silly creature

#Rain World #Rivulet #Slugcat #Fanart #this is for one of my besties who is sooo slug brained right now #just. the QUICKEST lil scribble before i go sleep #ive never played. but i might soon?? ? ?#did watch the bestie play a lil bit in call the other night #but e #everytime i see this creature i think of that photo of the dog so yeah :)

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sad-leon · 1 year

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Actually, Y'all can see these as well

Based off @/xinrouska's dtiys on Instagram (i dont know if they're chill being tagged over here)

I am obsessed with their villain Leo (and artstyle in general) and am going slightly feral for it lol

#sad•leonart #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise donatello #rise donnie #rise leo #rise leonardo #i think... i might put that 2al animatic i have cooking to the side for a bit #...... maybe......#ive just been so tired and angry and i dont know why but i hate ut #actually scratxh that #i do know why but im not giving in #anyways- take these goofy guys and im gonna go read and sleep before i vent and overshare on tumblr dot com #it was very experimentive for me #i dont think thats the word i was looking for but itll do #i was gonna do greyscale like the origin but i wanted to add colors #i did a stupid layer thing that got rid of the colors in their clothes but oh well #by the time i notuced it was too late to fix it

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bruhstation · 1 year

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of fucking course the best, most harrowing, most gut-wrenching tugs character only appeared in one episode (a bit of ramble in the tags)

#this is tugs #tugs boomer #tugs sunshine #boomshine #<---- evil sinister laughter #fortezza bigg city #senjart #I think he's neat. I also think a bottle of antidepressants could help with whatever hes going through #okay I'm gonna talk for a bit about boomer (mostly about his canon counterpart rather than solely his fbc version)#boomer's character struck a deep chord within me that when rewatching jinxed while sleep deprived I got so scared #his depression? thoughts of sinking himself? claiming that he didn't want any help yet attempted to push just a bit longer when supported?#putting his worth on how useful he is as a machine first? an individual with selfism second? thus deeming himself as a lost cause?#and despite his jaded sardonic demeanor he genuinely cares about others and puts their safety before his own?#like mannnnnn come ON no wonder I couldnt stop thinking about him #his struggles as a clinically depressed person is.... so real?#he says ''I don't want any help'' but he clearly does want AND need help. he goes along with TC and sunshine's hijinks of helping him #gradually went from ''whats the point I'm gonna jinx it anyways'' to ''Ive tried so hard I really have but I cannot. I never had a chance''#he even went ''okay but don't toot'' to TC before his final job! he's entertaining TC and sunshine's theory! he really does want help!#boomer's whole character screams “I want to live but I don't know how”#and man oh man I feel like s01e10 reached out of the screen and drove a stake through my heart #because it's so visceral. it's rang true with my personal experiences #it's so sad. it's probably because I'm sleep deprived but I want to take care of that poor orange thing so badly #boomer most likely thought his final job to tow the schooner will end badly as usual but with how he sounds way more upset when he failed-#-and how he even went ''I can't be bothered to argue anymore''. I have a feeling there's a tiny speck of hope inside him-#-that quickly died out the moment lightning struck and he got towed by the fire chief #and of course he's upset. hes tried so many times to find a way to get rid of the jinx but now? it's as if he's given false hope-#-and the thought of the jinx leaving is something akin to a fairytale. as long as he bears the name ''boomer'' and not ''captain harry''-#-he is doomed to this constant cycle of messing things up when its not his own fault and having other point their fingers at him #that is until he got refurbished into a houseboat (essay material for another day)#theyre never going to write another anthro vehicle character like this anymore . sad

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that1notetaker · 1 year

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Have some Future! Doodles. Raph's not here but he's fine, don't worry about it.

#leonardo #donnie #mikey #doodles #sketches #i just wanted too doodle a bit more before going to sleep #its hard to draw during the day #so I better take advantage of every single hour at night #its seven am what about it #god my eyes #are they open? i think they are #donatello #future donatello #future mikey #future leo #rottmnt #tmnt #rottmnt fanart #rise of the tmnt

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overly-verbose · 3 months

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Omw to a verrrry important exam rn, pls send thoughts prayers and good vibes my way 'cause I did nOt sleep well 💀

(also obviously if it goes well I'll have an easier time actually focusing on finishing Part 8 so uh there's the bribe lol

#Also fun fact Part 8 is gonna be quite a bit longer than Part 7!! wjat rhe fueck #But yeah I'm kinda trying not to Die Of Stress (and sleep deprivation but that's kinda a side effect lol) so I'm REALLY hoping to have #good luck with the questions today #(They really do try to condition our butts to not be human lol no wonder doctors end up kinda effed up after med school 😂)#(more like /MID/ school amirite *audible escaping of the last dregs of my sanity before I forcibly drag them back*#Hopefully I survive with my sanity still there tho 👍👍👍👍)#Anyway yeah just a lil update on Life™#Thinkings™#jjk fic #jjk fix it #jjk fix it fix #jjk

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tsukasalover · 5 days

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I can think of a lot of reasons why I like and have gotten attached to tsukasa more than any other fictional character and i think if i had to keep it simple (or else id be rambling for hours) id say

1. He’s so interesting. I usually pick up the extremely mischaracterized blonde characters anyways but he gets my brain working real hard. its almost 2am and i cant think straight but theres something about his duality that keeps me glued to him and the amount of Layers he has and how removing even one layer or completely ignoring how both his huge ego and kindness + selflessness coexist can really mess up your perception of him. There was something quite short i wrote about how both sides make him. Well. Him. back when his colofes dropped since i was so annoyed at the people Not getting it (while most never even read the STORIES 😁) anf ive been screaming this for a year now Please. Also the way his dream and being a good big brother go hand in hand have captured me. I really like fictional siblings and they fill something personal i miss and Looove looking at the roots of characters. Discovering where this and that and connecting events to what started their behaviors or helped their personality bloom. So seeing saki and toya play such an important role in his life keeps me HOOOKEDDD. I took the bait like tiny fish. Dont regret it. Never will. I like my fictional characters like layered cake. Thats basically how i see them. I had a yummy chocolate cake with so mant layers the other day 🤤 but anyways. I also really like when characters have to learn and grow as people after making really bad mistakes or being straight up assholes so it really took a while even after mainstory but once i got to see more of him with saki and read dazzling i was like. This is the guyyy. Youre mine now lets go. I dont like perfect characters but.. you see.. when characters who have (sometimes way too much) confidence and are dramatic yet are shown to truly be good people who enjoy making others happy… alright.. now im listening… Sign me up…

But really he has almost everything I’ve ever looked for in a character. Starting with the fact that he’s a theatre kid. And blonde. Of course emu nene and rui + more fictional characters have made their way into my heart and ive gotten attached to them on very Very personal levels but when it comes to this Idiot who wants to be a star and reminds me of a dog its something that i dont even know how to explain sometimes. Why is he here? What are you doing inside of my head. Ill never have one solid answer because he takes up too much space in my mind and i become incoherent too often when talking about him.

2. Ignoring my first answer, He is ugly. My favorite punching bag. Cartoon character. Begins floating when he smells pie. I dont know anymore

3. he just like me fr (Which is terrible i dont like that)

#if any part of this doesnt make sense or isnt rightpleass correct me #This is what i mean by tsukasa makes me lose my mind #I really cannot think straight when it comes to this show freak #3. Is more of a complicated thing. I dont Actually hate relating to him im joking but uhh #idk how to explain this i mean theres still a Lot that makes us very VERY different uhh #i think sometimes its just a little bit of annoyance like Why him. Why is it always the egotistical blonde ones #also i wouldnt say relating to him as much as i do right now is that bad (although i am much more self aware than him so. Yeah sometimes #I get annoyed with myself as well) i think its just the way ive been treated like i AM him before because of how much i do #Like guys. Come on now i get seeing people as their pfps or fav characters but thats a bit much #And theres plenty of other characters i relate to #Anyways ignoring rant in tags #I need to sleep. Right now. I cant believe i stayed up just to talk about little freak Tsukasa Tenma #ramble #rant #might delete later #tsukasa tenma #tenma tsukasa #wxs tsukasa #pjsk #prsk #project sekai #idk what im yapping about #yapping #tsukasa pjsk #tsukasa #wxs #wonderlands x showtime #shouldve kept this in drafts AAHH!!!!!

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