#just wanna see it all UNRAVEL bro i want it FUCKED UP

[kroosluvr]

Life's beauty is like a myriad of flowers, and I want to pluck the one that never wilts.

[bangtangalicious]

bts smut recs | needy!jungkook

there is something about when our lovely jeon jungkook is portrayed to be a hormone crazy, super needy, greedy, whiny character that is so fucking hot. tmw readers. i know you’ll love these. the hyper-horniness and blatant hunger for sex is so sexy. these are all jungkook x reader 18+ SMUT recs based on this theme. more to be added as i find them!!! 

🔺 = yandere/taboo themes *ALL ARE SMUT

MILF (series) by @koosbabygrl | 🔺 ive read this so many times. like. SO MANY TIMES. this is PEAK needy!koo energy. its so fucking hot i cant even put it into words. theres this mommy kink moment and i CANT get over it holy shittttttttt. also the sequels are GREAT, in part 2 when he has her riding his cock while she does her makeup oh my fucking godDDDDDDD. amazing.

this specific needy!koo drabble by @voidswan | 🔺 i know its not a full fic but its literally so hot i cry. bunny!koo just wants to fuck so bad poor thing I DONT KNOW WHY IM JUST OBSESSED OK the stuttering gets me every fucking time. screams. 

clean up by @lonelyhobi & @scribblemetae | he’s drunk and he feels so guilty abt it but he cant help himself!! god its FEVERISHLY good. he’s all whiny and crying and he needs u so bad and the way its described is so fucking hot. the dirty talk is inSANE. dry humping. fuck. amazing amazing.

thunderstorms are scary by @lonelyhobi & @scribblemetae | same couple, but this innocent needy kook is just scared and comes to sleep w noona and then ends up groping you and poor kookie just cat stop bc you feel so good. he ruts into ur ass and whines and ugh. brilliantttttt. honestly recommend this whole masterlist of step-bro fics from them its amazing. theres also a fun loss-of-innocent taehyung one :))))

training wheels by @fithehunnybee | theres a twinge of like sneaky manipulation in this one which i love. y/n kinda a bitch but she drives poor lil koo up the mf WALL. we have some cumming in pants action which i know you all LOVE hehehehe. also i love that it builds the tension so well with koo getting so desperate and y/n teasing..poor lil bunny

the dark prince (series) by @jkeuphoriadreamland | 🔺 LISTEN. first of all, read all their works bc, chefs kiss, but focusing on the needy koo in this, he DEVELOPS mmkay, he starts off all innocent but once he has a taste oh boy does he know what he wants (its you, btw *wink). poor boy cant see at first but he cant fucking help himself your touch drives him insane. how can you resist? the slow burn. the build up. the teasing. IMMACULATE. 

thank you, baby (series) by @scribblemetae | 🔺 im gonna clickbait you ALL into reading this. its twisted in the best way. a few personal highlights for me are when y/n is wearing the VR goggles and jungkook is like yeah imma just slide my cock in real quick lmfaooo its really hot though. the sort of unraveling of the reader adds to the desperation and neediness of both of their sexual actions. its fanfuckingtastic. each part has a good dose of things we all crave: begging, whining goodness

born sinner (series) by @1kook | OUR GOOD LIL CATHOLIC BOY IS UP TO NO GOOD and its got so much of his POV and the GUILT is so well portrayed and makes the whole thing seem more taboo/intense and its just fantastic mmm. 

forbidden by @googikoo | 🔺 again, i read this more times than i can admit. its not so much loss of innocence and more like straight up NEEDY but essentially sneaky devious lil koo is dating your daughter but, obvi, he wants you ;) 

teeth by @sweetbunnykook | ITS LIGHT SMUT BUT ITS JUST REALLY HOT LIKE I CANT EXPLAIN IT JUST READ IT ITS HOT

and not to be entirely self-serving but in case you want more..i too have dabbled in this genre ;)

touch me wherever

tickle me there 

touch yourself here 

wanna touch you 

soaked n’ slippery

ALWAYS LOOKING FOR MORE!! if you know of any other fics that fit this niche please feel free to lmk!! im always looking for new reads :) this one is for my TMW readers. i know what you like hehehehe ;)

[deviantartdramanow]

Reddragondraws is a shitty spy/hypocrite

Ok no, unraveling some of this kid’s claims here. Buckle up buckos time to put down a hypocrite! 1: TallThiery29 left DA and didnt want to come back, why demand she come back? We saw you on your YouTube and BEGGING her to come back. (Mod note:  Evidence provided here > https://sta.sh/2b3dyhn7w8 ) Your job would have been done and you could move on. Unless you are hyper focused on her and want to keep tormenting her? Abit fucked up and screams ‘psycho’ to me. I saw some of those gallery arts…concerning if you ask me. AHEM: https://www.deviantart.com/hgdggfgdbfet/art/The-Test-part-3-899845468 ( https://archive.md/srU7U ) 2: You sat and cried on someone’s journal “I am the victim! I am a minor and she’s doing these rps with me! -slaps stash link down so anyone can see it in journal that’s calling her out.- Fun fact, it was Eliza stepping forward going ‘she is going after me even  tho I told her to back off!’ RED then rushed in  as his alt and went 'NO I AM THE VICTIM I HAVE PROOF! and slapped his stash link down for EVERYONE to see. https://www.deviantart.com/comments/1/899049637/4956709187 ( https://archive.md/9WBe0 ) (confirmed by both Eliza and Estel this was the original comments, from his hdgggg alt account.) Here’s the screens too before he hid them: https://imgur.com/a/6ZMF6rK here’s also where he put the original stash link too: https://sta.sh/21gi93ntnems 3: Ok this whole 'my oc acts like an adult so it’s not grooming’ has to stop. It clearly represents you like a 'self insert’ of some sort, and you said she 'simps’ for it? And you had to shoot down ALOT of rps with her that you didnt want to do? Bro, TallTheiry29 is bad news, I’d back awwwwwwwwaaaay from the person saying that to me if I was underage and had an oc they fancied and knew they were an adult. Just stop, that’s where the 'grooming’ came in, she shouldn’t do that to you at all, another user did the same fucking thing infact where they 'simped’ for a 10 yr olds oc on twitter and they were in their 20s. You gonna go and say 'oh the oc is an adult it’s ok’ NO. IT. IS. NOT. OKAY. IT. IS. GROOMING!! Use your damn BRAIN. Not all Pedos act the same in obvious 'show me nudes/come into my van’ tactics, some of them are more subtle about their habits, and TallTheiry29 is showing big time to be a subtle groomer. She makes you uncomfortable, you have to shoot down certain rps with her, she 'simps for your oc’, and she pesters you alot and manipulates you into sticking by her. Face it kid, she aint no saint and you are blind to her tactics. Get away from her and move on. https://www.deviantart.com/comments/1/886139244/4958511047?reply_to=4958511047 ( https://archive.md/r9b3y ) ( https://sta.sh/018elmyen2x3 < before first comment was hidden) 4: You brought this upon yourself, people saw Talltheiry29s youtube and saw YOU sticking up for her and begging her to come back. YOU made yourself the enemy and lashed out at innocent users who were WARNING Tall was coming back on other journals. YOU went leaping onto her DA account  and attacked others for her and lashed out at them. What kind of 'I am neutral in this'  bullshit is that when you bend over backwards defending her yet again? https://www.deviantart.com/comments/4/70572506/4958520330 ( https://archive.md/nFOWq ) https://www.deviantart.com/comments/4/70572506/4958499818 ( https://archive.md/Ni9lM ) https://www.deviantart.com/comments/4/70572506/4958520969 (kiss your mother with that mouth kid?) ( https://archive.md/9c2Al ) https://www.deviantart.com/comments/4/70572506/4958521287 (neutral, riiiight. You came running the moment she tugged on your leash.) ( https://archive.md/Xq2om ) https://www.deviantart.com/hgdggfgdbfet/journal/Lets-help-tall-for-once-900935523 (wanna explain THIS when again you are 'neutral in all this’ hmmm?) ( https://archive.md/zS10o ) https://www.deviantart.com/comments/4/72490734/4956777587 (Boy howdy did THIS age well. Why didnt you stick to your own advice and fuck off like the others did? You seem more like a white knight than Aiden and that’s bad since he sucks the farts out of TallTheiry29’s ass.) ( https://archive.md/aGUs1 ) Now some Hypocritical art of 'being neutral’ in all this gang https://www.deviantart.com/hgdggfgdbfet/art/Well-901005220 (Oh boo hoo, I miss my groomer, whatever shall I do?!) ( https://archive.md/nvzFH ) https://www.deviantart.com/hgdggfgdbfet/art/The-end-901007770 (No one will tell me my oc is 'special’ and 'simp’ material, I want the suicide baiting insane lunatic art thief who is terrible for my mental state back boo hooooo!) ( https://archive.md/oyeGo ) https://www.deviantart.com/hgdggfgdbfet/art/All-clear-901185683 (I, instead of going into a healthy rp with someone my own age, decided to drag my abuser back so I can do more rps with her and continue to encourage her fucked up habits!) ( https://archive.md/Q0O3t ) 5: why the FUCK rant at Carno when you were the one that helped him make the video? Why friggin attack him? LOOK WHO SENT HIM THE EVIDENCE SUNSHINE. THAT was on you buddy, not Eliza, not Estel, not any of us, none of us sent that evidence, you pushed for that video to be made. That video is your doing. Tall has YOU TO BLAME for that sugar. https://www.deviantart.com/comments/1/886139244/4956876627 ( https://archive.md/sp9EO )

6: I spoke with Estel and she’s got some interesting lil DM screens coming..you think she just blocked you and moved on? Nah..she has receipts of your 30+ comments ranting at her ass like an insane lunatic sweetie. And I have a message for some of them. A: grow up with the mlp cringe bullshit, your oc is just as cringe if you gonna sling mud. I mean..Steve? Wheezeeeeee. He looks like a sun-persona that took steroids and was fused with Alphas of Undertale. B: People are looking HERE for the shit TallTheiry29 is pulling and you made yourself a target attacking two users in her name ya fucking twat. Got a problem with the mod showing the shit she’s pulling? Then back out and be truly neutral unless you simp so damn hard for TallTheiry29 it’s sadly beyond your reasoning to do so. C: You ever hear of fucking blocking? Also you have that journal up on Tall YA FUCKING TWAT, you dont think people are going to come looking at it? D: No one told you to unblock Estel and attack her yet you did. Kindly just stfu and back off ya lunatic. Jeez you are just as twisted in the head as TallTheiry29 it seems. You are well on your way to turning into her if you keep this bullshit up. 7: Mod if he continues to rant and rave, give him a fat ol block. I provided proof of his hypocrisy as best I could so please kindly take heed, you dont want this idiot swaying you to his side. Seems like he just wants attention for 'banning Tall’ and got furious when others took his glory. That or he has some twisted fascination with her and loves putting her through Hell for his own sick satisfaction. You aint no double agent you are a goddamn sadist and Tall should get away from you. =/ she’s in no mental state to deal with your two faced bullshit buddy. Just back away, you lost this. Her leaving DA is not the end of the world, and the route she’s going; DA will kick her off for all her 'IMMA KEEL MAHSELF’ journals she puts out every two damn weeks. Let her fucking leave DA and find some other kid to rp with YOUR OWN AGE ffs. 8: Hey dumbass if you really are a spy, you are doing a shit job at it. TallTheiry29 checks out this blog too and you just outed yourself -lmao! toodles darling, learn to spy better mwah ~Angel Dust. Mod note:  Thanks to another anon, I added all archives to the links provided here.  Thank you!

[retrievablememories]

serenade | mark (m)

title: serenade pairing: mark x reader genre: fluff, smut summary: you and mark spend your first night together at the dorm, and you try to think of a way to say what you really want. word count: 2.5k warnings: fingering, PIV sex, riding, handjob a/n: i still kinda see mark as like a little bro or something so it felt weird to write this. lmao. in other news, who do i have to pay to get a full cover of “get you” from him?

“We better not get caught.”

You say this as you and Mark head up to their dorm floor, his hand in yours the entire time like he’s unwilling to let you go.

“We won’t, promise. The manager went to go visit family so we have the room all to ourselves this weekend.” He winks at this, and you give him a look in return.

You plunk yourself onto his bed once you get to the room he shares with the manager, your overnight bag slipping out of your hand. You only mean to lie there for a few seconds, but you’re taken in with the smell of Mark on the sheets and comforter, and you try to inconspicuously bury your nose in them. Of course, he notices anyway.

“Do you like the smell of me that much?” Mark comes over to you and tugs the comforter around you so you’re rolled up in it like a burrito, and you giggle uncontrollably as he does so. “Shh! Don’t wake the whole dorm up.” Mark puts a finger to his lips and looks around suspiciously as if there could be someone in the room already eavesdropping on your conversation, and you roll your eyes. 

“Hello, Mark, you’re the one who said the coast was clear.” You try to unravel yourself, but he’s gotten you pretty wrapped up in the small amount of time you were laughing, and now you can’t get free. “Uh, what the hell!”

“I know, but if the guys find out they aren’t going to let me hear the end of it…” Mark says, coming to rescue and pulling you from the mesh of blankets. You slide off the bed, trying to fix your hair, but it doesn’t matter much anyway; you’re going to be dressing for bed soon.

You go to the bathroom to do just that, changing into your sleeping clothes. You and Mark have been dating for a little while but haven’t done much yet, so you’re still unsure about changing in front of him or how he’d react—though you’re hoping to change that tonight. Maybe if you’re lucky.

When you enter the room again, you see that Mark has done the same and is lying on the bed in his pajamas. He’s looking at something on his phone, but his eyes drift back to you when you walk in and climb on the bed beside him, tucking your head into his arm.

“Are you gonna fall asleep so soon?” Mark laughs, throwing his leg over yours. “We still have the whole night ahead of us.”

“I’m just resting,” you say, though you also know you probably will fall asleep soon if you stay like this long enough. “But if you don’t want me to fall asleep, we should probably do something. Like watch a movie.”

“What do you want to watch?” Mark asks, sitting up straighter at the suggestion. He reaches for his laptop nearby.

“Doesn’t really matter,” you say absently. “Maybe we could try something we haven’t seen before.”

You and Mark go back and forth about which movies to watch until you finally settle on an action film that looks interesting to you both. It’s better than you expected it to be, so you decide to watch the sequel when the first one ends. Halfway through the second film, though, you start losing your focus. Much to your annoyance, it leaves a lot to be desired compared to the first.

Your attention starts drifting more towards the boy beside you. Your eyes follow the sharp lines of his jawline and cheekbones, and you think about bringing up the subject that’s been burning in your mind. Mark must feel your eyes piercing the side of his face, because he soon turns to you with an amused smile on his lips.

“What’s wrong? You’re not watching the movie. Are you bored with it?”

“Ha. A little…” you admit, distractedly playing with the fabric of his shirt sleeve. Mark pauses the movie and sets the laptop aside. He grasps the hand that’s tugging at his sleeve and plays with your fingers, clasping them between his own.

“What do you wanna do now, then?” Should you ask him now? How do you even say it? Let’s fuck? I’d like to have sex? You almost roll your eyes at the thought of saying either of those lines. You squeeze his fingers between yours and open your mouth to speak, but you become stuck on what to say.

You chicken out at the last second. “C-can you sing something for me?” you ask instead, nervously wetting your lips.

Mark blushes a little and laughs. “You wanna hear me sing?”

“Anything! It doesn’t matter what.”

He nods, then pulls away from you to grab his guitar and take it out of its case. He resettles himself on the bed in front of you, crossing his legs. You push the sheets away from you and sit like an excited puppy, waiting to see what he’ll play. He strums thoughtfully, warming himself up and wondering what song he should sing for you. 

Suddenly, his eyes widen a bit and he smiles slyly, like he’s just unearthed the answer to a mysterious case. “Oh, I got it.” Mark plucks at the strings on his guitar, his voice flowing out softly.

Through drought and famine, natural disasters My baby has been around for me Kingdoms have fallen, angels be callin' None of that could ever make me leave

Every time I look into your eyes, I see it You're all I need Every time I get a bit inside, I feel it

Ooh, who would've thought I'd get you? Ooh, who would've thought I'd get you?

And when we're making love, uh Your cries, they can be heard from far and wide It's only the two of us Everything I need between those thighs...

He continues singing the rest of the song as you look on, a grin on your lips and excitement buzzing in your body. He has to make an effort not to look at you as he sings, because your grin makes him want to giggle every time.

Mark smiles bashfully when he stops strumming, and he’s about to say something when you cup his cheeks and kiss him on the lips. He’s surprised for a moment before he responds, kissing you back as tenderly as you’re doing to him.

When you separate from each other, you’re still holding his face, studying him carefully. Mark swallows nervously, though his eyes shine with a mischievous light. “Did it work?” he asks, his voice low.

You look at him questioningly. “Did what work?”

“Have I seduced you with my voice?” He seems embarrassed about his own line, but he says it anyway with all the confidence he can muster.

“You’re embarrassing,” you answer, trying to hold back your laughter. “But if you really want to know, we can find out.”

Mark sets his guitar to the side, and you kiss again, his tongue nudging carefully against yours. He draws you closer, though neither one of you is really taking the lead yet—instead choosing to move at an even pace and test the waters of this whole thing.

It’s not your first time—or his—but it is your first time with Mark, and you don’t know quite what to expect. You let yourself relax against him as his hands slide across your sides, curving around to your back to bring you closer still. He soon ends up lying you back on the bed, settling himself against you and feeling your body heat reaching out to him through your clothes.

You think you could kiss him like this forever, but you can feel him getting hard against your hip, and your own body is answering in kind, wanting to explore further. “Take your shirt off,” you say quietly against his lips. He pauses—but only for a second—before pulling back and stripping his shirt off.

You run your hands across his chest and stomach after they’re revealed to you, and he asks you just as tentatively, “Can I…take this off?” while holding the hem of your shirt. You nod yes, and he does so. He’s quick to nuzzle into your breasts, which makes you laugh tenderly and pet his head. He lavishes them with warm kisses, sucking the nipples past his lips and making you moan softly. His hair is soft as you run your fingers through it.

He continues kissing his way down your chest and stomach, and you feel anxious and eager all in one. When he reaches the hemline of your pajamas, he asks if he can take these off, too, and you reply with a yes. He slides your bottoms down, and you feel a little self-conscious about it but try not to let that get to you, wanting to enjoy the moment.

“How do you want this to be?” Mark asks this simple question as his fingers trace across your thighs, soft like a bird’s wings, and it makes your insides tremble. You’re not entirely sure how to respond, because Mark could fuck you in every way possible and you would likely enjoy every moment of it.

You answer by sitting up and climbing into his lap, feeling him hard under you.

“Please touch me,” you say this against his lips as you kiss him again, feeling the silky texture of his mouth caressing your own. One of his arms snakes around your waist to hold you in his lap, and you gently grip the other one, guiding his hand to the space between your bodies.

He touches you carefully at first, feeling you over your underwear and nudging his fingers against that small bundle of nerves that has you shifting on his lap. His touches grow a little firmer when he notices how you respond to him, and he gains the motivation to pull your panties to the side for better access.

Mark slips his fingers across your lower lips, noticing how wet you already are and then nudging them against your entrance. Tentatively, he pushes one inside, and you melt into him more, wanting more of him inside you.

“More, Mark,” you murmur into his neck, his pulse beating against your lips. He adds a second finger, stretching you out around him. You whimper into his skin as Mark thrusts his fingers into you, coaxing more pleasure from you. 

When you cum on Mark’s fingers, your orgasm arrives with a shuddering moan. Your eyes drift back a little as he keeps scissoring his fingers inside you, and instead of pulling away, you find yourself grinding into his hand again so you can chase a second climax. It doesn’t take long for another wave to rush over you, with Mark mouthing at your neck and collarbone as he feels you shake in his arms.

He eventually pulls his fingers out, which are slick with cum, and slides them into his mouth. He makes a satisfied sound at this, which turns into a groan as you pull his sweatpants down far enough to release his dick. It slaps against his stomach, leaving a smear of glistening precum behind on his skin.

“You should find a condom,” you say as you take his member in your hand, drawing your thumb over the sensitive spot just below the tip. This move makes more precum leak from him, running onto your thumb and wetting your fingers. Mark’s eyes flutter, and he tries to steady his breathing.

“You have to let me go, first,” he responds. You know that, but you want to have a bit more fun with him first, thumbing the slit of his cock and fondling his balls with your other hand. You haven’t really begun touching him yet, but he’s already taken apart by these actions, groaning as quietly as he can.

You play with him a little more, making him tremble against you as you stroke his cock, before finally letting him go and allowing him to get up. After he retrieves a condom and slips it on, you practically pull him back onto the bed, causing him to land on you. He holds himself up to keep his weight off you as he claims your lips again. You think he’s going to slide into you in this position, but with his lips at your ear, he says, ”I want you to ride me.”

Your body is burning hot with the idea of it, and you comply by nodding and placing yourself back in his lap, his member sliding against your sex.

Mark makes a sound between a moan and a whimper when you sink down onto him, snugly fitting his dick inside of you. His breaths are heavy as they hit against your skin, and his hands go to your hips, needing to take hold of something to keep himself grounded.

Mark thrusts up into you as you bounce on him, and your toes curl both with the pleasure of it and from the effort of not being too loud. “Mark, God…” You hold onto his back for stability as your bodies slide together more perfectly than you could’ve dreamed. His lips go back to worrying the skin of your neck as he pushes himself up into you, holding you tight enough against him to have your breasts pressed against his chest. His hand slides lower to grip your ass, and he moans openly at the feel of it in his palm.

Your hands slide easily across each other’s skin from the sweat; some of it drips down Mark’s collarbone and you lick it away. HIs dick twitches inside you in response to your actions, and you decide that you like teasing him this way, drawing your tongue against his body and making him shiver underneath you.

“Y/N…” Mark’s voice shakes as he groans into the side of your neck, and you know he’s likely already close. You bring your hand to where you’re joined together, wanting to bring yourself closer to orgasm, but Mark replaces your hand with his. His touches on your clit make you thrust yourself harder onto him, wanting to get as much of the sensation as you possibly can.

Mark spills into the condom soon after this, his thighs jerking beneath you, though he never stops pleasuring you the whole way through. The barely-concealed sounds of his moans and his fingers on the most sensitive part of your body is enough to have you following after him, leaving small imprints of your nails on his shoulders.

After you are both spent, Mark lies back on the bed and you cling to each other, your head resting on his chest. You’re wholly satisfied, waves of contentment enveloping you in their warm embrace. Mark remains seated inside of you, and you’re delightfully full from it.

“I should sing for you more often if this is what happens afterwards,” Mark comments, tapping his fingers against your back absentmindedly.

“...Do you always have to ruin the moment?” You shake your head, though on the inside, you definitely can’t deny that you’d do it again.

[floralbfs]

someone in my friends gc: so is thursday good for everyone?

me: i mean yeah i got it free but i dont wanna spend it with u guys

[thewalkingfanfictions]

I’m Not Gay -- Sam Winchester x Male!reader

I'm Not Gay — Sam Winchester x male!hunter!reader

Part One / Part Two

Description: Forced out of his motel room by his sister when she and a stranger burst through the door playing tongue wars, (Name) decides to go for walk, where he runs into Sam, tall, handsome, smart, and no, (Name) definitely doesn’t like guys, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Warning: Some internalized homophobia, references to sex, and some cussing. Supernatural-themed gore and violence (they fight vampires)

Genre: Fluff, I guess? A bit of angst in there somewhere probably, too, since I have no self control.

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Male!Reader

A/N: I have no idea what the fuck this is. This is such a crack fic. Reader has a sister named Lidia, for reasons that I do not know.

Words without A/N: 2483

Masterlist

<———————>

"You sure you don't wanna come with, (name)?"

"No, Lidia, I'm just gonna stay here and research. 'Sides, socializing is for psychopaths."

Lidia (Last name); ninety-three pounds of redheaded sarcasm, anger issues, and badassery. Also my sister, senior to me by four years ("and three months, (name)!") Also, also, a total extrovert with a thing for trying to force her introverted little brother to socialize. Disgusting.

"C'mon, (nickname), you need to get laid! I could totally find you a pretty, butch boy and—"

"Lidia, for the last time, I'm not gay!"

For the last several years, my darling, amazing, delightful (taste the sarcasm?) big sis has been living under the (totally unfounded) belief that I am a homosexual. I don't know where she seems to have gotten that notion, as I am not. (Summer camp doesn't count, dammit!)

"Mhm, keep tellin' yourself that, lil' bro. But, fine, if you won't come with me–" she dramatically picked herself up from the seat where she'd been fancying up her makeup–"I guess I'll just have to go without you. How terrible, little old me, scared and alone, walking down the road after dark without someone to protect me," she pouted.

"Oh, ha ha, very funny. We both know you could kick anyone who tried to bother you's ass without even looking."

Giggling, she picked up her bag (and a few blades) and turned towards the door. Looking back at me one more time, she gave me a middle-fingered salute before about-facing and heading through to the outside.

"See ya later, loser," she called back before the door closed all the way.

Even though she was already gone, I still mumbled a quiet "punk" under my breath after her, before setting off to start my research.

————

Three hours, several coffee refills, a few dead ends, and one (minor) mental break down later, I was really no closer to finding the thing we were hunting, and there was a crash outside the hotel door.

Lidia had been out for a while, there was a chance it was just her returning from whatever bar she had gone to, shit faced and unable to walk correctly, therefore knocking something into the door or the like, or, my least favorite option, it was something supernatural or other here to kill me.

Moving to grab a gun, I silently stalk towards the window beside the door. There's a few more dull thuds on the door, and some odd, wounded-animal type noise comes through the wood. Cautiously, I move the curtain a few centimeters, just enough to peer through without being spotted.

There, pushed up against the door, is my sister, some idiot attached to her at the lips, with hands going places I'd rather not think about when it comes to my sibling.

Grimacing, I turn around, shove my gun into the waistline of my jeans, and move to quickly grab my laptop and a few books. Maybe if I hurry I can get out of here before they actually start fucking, this time.

Hurrying towards it, the door suddenly opens, and in spills a very shirtless (and totally not attractive, what?) man, and my sister, who was now working on pulling her bra off. They shuffle towards one of the beds, and somewhere in the back if my head I register that its my bed that they're going towards as I awkwardly move around them, trying not to alert them of my presence. I didn't wanna deal with that conversation again.

Finally getting all the way to the door, I carefully pulled it open as not to bother the two, and backed out of the doorway. Glancing up, I got a full view of Lidia's tit before I managed to actually get out of the door.

I quietly closed the door, making sure that the click of the hinges was quiet enough that it wouldn't disturb the couple inside.

Pausing for a second, I couldn't help the dramatic shiver that rattled my body.

"That is-- that is far more of her than I ever needed to see," I winced.

Turning to go find a place to settle down while my sister and the stranger... did their thing, I came face-to-face with a brick wall. Well, more face-to-chest, actually, and brick wall wasn't quite right, I guess. He was closer to a tank. Even at the few paces away from me that he stood, he still seemed incredibly tall. Long-ish brown hair curled around his ears, and his face was undoubtedly attractive. A small smile (that I definitely did not find adorable, I don't know what you're talking about, I'm totally, definitely, one hundred percent straight) tugged at full lips and his eyes stared down at me questioningly. I could feel an ugly blush climbing up my neck.

"Uh– heh, uhm, my, my– uh my–" my awkward stuttering was cut off when the man huffed a small laugh, and spoke.

"You must be the brother."

...

"Heh?" His smile only broadened at my perplexed stare and he took a few steps closer to me. I couldn't help but feel slightly intimidated by the guy's humongous stature, though his face seemed innocent and kind enough. Still, in my line of work, you can never be too careful. I instinctively felt my hand reach for the gun still hidden in my waistband.

"In, uh, in there," he pointed lightly at the door I'd just come out of, "my brother, he's the one with your sister. She was talking about a brother at her motel, I, uh, I guess that'd be you," he finished off, trailing out slightly as he realized he had nothing more to say. It was his turn to blush.

I let myself relax slightly, I didn't think he was so much of a threat anymore.

Smiling slightly, I couldn't not let my eyes glance over him.

Uh, in as purely heterosexual way, obviously.

His shoulders were stupidly broad, and under his denim coat I was sure there had to lay muscle. Before, when I said he was tall, I don't think you really got the full picture. The awning thing that came off the front of the hotel to protect anyone on the sidewalk was probably your standard seven foot high roof; this guys head was only a few inches under it. He was huge. His face was young, but had a whisper behind it that said that he'd seen some things someone his age generally didn't. The dimples on either side of that blindingly bright smile made him just so much more attractive, and I couldn't not find him cute. (Once again, in a totally hetero way, I'm really, definitely, completely Not Gay.)

Figuring that I couldn't stand there and gawk any longer without coming off as creepy, I finally spoke up.

"Uh, yeah, Lidia. And your brother. That was–" I shuddered slightly, "–that was a sight I never needed to see."

He chuckled slightly and took a few steps closer to me. I was still a bit wary, but I let him come closer without pulling a gun on him, anyway.

"Yeah, no, it's not pleasant. He's done the same thing to me before."

I blanched up at him (damn, he really is tall) and thought to the scene that was unraveling right inside the door. Didn't he say he was his brother? I mean, to each your own, but damn—

"No! No, not—" he cut off my train of thought, growing redder by the second. He took a few more steps forward until he was right in front of me, holding his hands up in surrender. "I mean— I meant barging into the room with a partner while I was still there like that, not-not that he's—not that he's done, done that—" I cut him off, wanting to end the poor babbling disasters misery.

Cracking a smile, I laugh gently at him and reach out to touch his arm and make him pause.

"Oh-oh, its okay, calm down man, I getcha, I getch—"

MOAN

My sisters pleasured voice cut me off and made me freeze up, my face burning red.

"Nope, nope, nopety nope nope nope, can we please go anywhere else and continue this conversation? Literally anywhere, oh my fuck, oh my—" I started walking before he could say anything, not wanting to have to suffer through another sound like that.

He chuckled again as I passed him and quickly caught up to me, reaching out to gently grab my arm before I got to far.

"My, uh– we could hang out in my room for a while. 'Till they're, ya know, done," he grimaced and nodded his head towards the room to the direct right of ours. He hadn't seemed dangerous so far, so I mean, why not?

I nodded hesitantly and let the man lead me into the room, noting the fact that his hand didn't leave my arm until the very last second.

He let me in first and closed the door softly behind us. I have never been so thankful that these walls were thicker than any other motel's walls in existence. If I focused hard enough, I could almost imagine that the faint moaning was just sound coming from the little box TV.

The room was set up pretty much the same as ours. The same, mildewy wallpaper, two twin sized mattresses on either side of the room with the same pale comforter tucked around a paper pillow. A few littler things did stick out to me, though. The pre packed buggout bags sitting right at the end of both beds, the laptop that sat on the bedside table with a bunch of papers laying haphazardly around it, a half-drank coffee cup sitting beside it. The scene seemed oddly familiar.

"My, uh," the man's voice cut off my searching eyes, "my name's Sam, by the way. I don't think I said that before." He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and I definitely didn't find it cute. At all. Nope.

Sam. It fit him. I like it.

Smiling up at him, (and totally not noticing how his frame would almost take up the entire door frame that he stood beside) I opened my mouth to respond, only to be cut off again by a crash from the room next door and an even louder moan. I grimaced, the awkwardly smiled up at him once again.

"I'm (name), it's, uh, it's nice to meet ya?" How do people socialize again?

"Uh, yeah, nice to meet you, too." Well that's reassuring, at least he seems just about as nervous as I am.

He stepped forward a bit and awkwardly held his hand out to me, which I accepted with a small, close-lipped smile. The moment our skin made contact, I genuinely didn't want to let go. The warmth of his overly-large hand was intoxicating, and his touch made me oddly giddy.

Looking up into his eyes, I found, was a total mistake. A stunning mixture of smokey hazel and green, small flecks of honey dotted his iris'. His eyes seemed so deep. Seemed so much older than they really were, once again, like he'd seen far more in his life than an average man his age could ever claim. Not to be dramatic or anything, but he was absolutely captivating.

I don't really know how long we sat there and stared at each other, but by the time I finally realized how weird it probably was, and forced myself to look away, I was starting to feel a bit light headed. Let's blame that on lack of sleep and an excess of coffee, and not on whatever was causing my stomach to flutter so dangerously as it was.

"Heh," I looked down towards our feet, my face flushing dramatically. I'm sure by now I'm about as red as a baboons ass, and only flushing redder as I realized that he was still holding my hand.

"Uh-uhm, so, uh, Sam--" I stuttered pathetically, focussing on the hand that still held mine until he awkwardly let go. "--what, uh, what do you do for a living?"

And so the night kicked off just like that. Soon enough, we were both sat cross legged on the bed, sharing stories (all the ones that I could think of that didn't involve murder or monsters) and trading memories. I learned that he had planned to be a lawyer, and was almost done with his course when some unmentioned family drama popped up, and he had to take a sudden leave. I found out that he traveled for work with his brother (a sentence that seemed suspiciously familiar) and that he loved to read. He told me how his girlfriend had died in some terrible house fire only a few months before (my heart definitely didn't freeze up at the fact that he had a girlfriend, shut up) and that he still had nightmares about her. We talked for hours, and, unlike with most people, I never once got bored of it.

I really don't know how long we sat there and chatted, but, by the time the doorframe to the room was vomiting up a sweaty and slightly-drunk older brother, my eyes had started to sag with exhaustion.

"Wa-Sam-Who's this?" Dean (Sam had spoken of him frequently over the evening) slurred slightly, gazing at me with an almost accusatory look. Before I had the chance to respond, Sam was already up and talking, standing between us almost protectively.

"(Name). He's, uh, he's the little brother of the girl you...were with, tonight." He seemed uncertain at exactly what he was saying, but he got the point across.

Being as he was still standing guard in front of me like he was (why on earth was he doing that?), Dean had to lean around him to look at me, which made Sam fidget nervously, for some reason.

"Dean--"

"(Name), you should probably be headed back, it's getting kinda late and I'm sure your sisters wondering where you're at," Dean cut his brother off, leaning further around Sam to look at me. Not gonna lie, he kinda scared me. Standing, I moved to grab the things I'd escaped the room with earlier, and headed for the door, turning back to beckon Sam a good night, I caught sight of them staring at eachother like they were having a silent argument, and just darted out the door, instead of saying anything. Maybe we'd meet again one day.

The air was cold, and it had gotten very dark in the time that I was hidden away in the room with Sam. I walked briskly back to my own room, opened the door with my key, and hesitantly poked my head in, not wanting to wake my sister if she'd fallen asleep.

"So there  you are, (nickname), out getting some dick, were you?"

Ugh.

[mariesdameron]

Marie Sacker & Clyde Logan (KillersmileClyde) Part I

TW: Drinking, Vulgar language, Violence i.e. throwing items around and yelling, brief PTSD and suicide mention, brief mention of past trauma with abuse, emotional distress, plus size bullying mention

Word Count: 3,112

This is a roleplaying scene between @mariesackler & @killersmileclyde​

Backstory:

Marie and Clyde have been friends for quite a while. This takes place in Marie Sackler Personal Au RP story line that has Marie, single and on her own.

Marie and Clyde have been nursing feelings for a long time but something always interrupts any action from progressing. This is what erupts:

Take note that italicized means action.

Please gentle on my editing. Roleplaying can be trickery to edit together.

Marie Sackler:

My hand grips the door handle fiercely. Its now or never. I had time to think about the prior evening. And the more I thought about it the more I felt like I could scream. How long had Clyde and I been friends? And how long was there an undeniable chemistry between us? Was it always going to just sit there right under the surface? Or would we ever be more? It needed to be addressed but what would the outcome be? Did he even care for me really? I wasn't looking for a quick lay. I actually gave a shit about Clyde. I took a deep breath and walk into Duck Tape.

KillerSmileClyde: 

I worked behind the bar, not noticing Marie walk in until she was standing next to the bar exit, leaning against the bartop staring at him with a stern look. Hey darlin' how ya feelin' today?

Marie Sackler: 

Hey, I am.. okay. I look around the bar seeing a few patrons. I am not sure what I was thinking storming up to Duck Tape like this. I bit the inside of my cheek.Can I have a gin and tonic, please?

KillerSmileClyde: 

Sure I fix the drink quickly, sensing something is bothering her. Wanna talk 'bout it? We can... uh... go to my office...

Marie Sackler: 

Thank you. I take the glass and drink most of it.Yeah sure why not, lets go to your office. I can hear the tension in my voice.

KillerSmileClyde: 

Clyde grabs a bottle of water before leading her back. I sit down on the couch and pat for her to sit beside me.

What's goin on sweetheart?

Marie Sackler: 

I opt to not sit next to him but prop myself against his desk.

Why do you think there is something going on? I just thought I would you know swing by, like I always do.

KillerSmileClyde: 

My face scrunches in confusion what? You're acting weird. I thought ya liked comin' by the bar... rubs my hand over my face

Ya come in all hot n' heavy today like ya got a chip on yer shoulder.

I ain't done nothin' t'ya

Marie Sackler: 

I take a deep breath.

No, you are right you haven't. You have done nothing to me. NOTHING. But everyone else seems to get a go. Why is that? hmm? I mean I don't really want to just be another fucking mark on your belt thats for sure. But for fuck sakes.

I grit my teeth, and ball my hands up. All kinds of emotions fall over me; anger, jealously, sexual aggression, softness. I grab the water Clyde brought in and open it in anger.

KillerSmileClyde: 

My jaw drops as she spews every thought on her mind, snatching his bottle of water for herself I... uh... dunno what to say rubs hand across the back of my neck I don't want ya t'be just a notch in my belt neither... y'know I'm no good at this...I'm stumbling trying to find words to express what I feel.

Marie Sackler: 

I watch Clyde's face contort in emotion. It crushes my heart. He is too pure of a soul and I was hurting him already. This is not what I want.

I am sorry, Clyde. I have a lot of emotions that I've been fucking holding back for a while now. And it sucks watching you be the most popular man in town and I am.. I am just overlooked.

Like I said I can't stand the idea of just being a one night of fun for you. That's why I haven't pressed the matter. But I am tired. And you just seem to be everywhere and I can't get you out of my head. I come by to see you because you bring me such happiness just being around you. You have so much warmth in you. You are such a good friend......

I choke down pending tears.

KillerSmileClyde: 

Oh.

I look up from the floor to find your eyes glassed over with tears you refuse to let fall 

You're never overlooked,M'sorry I ever made ya feel that way. Seeing ya is always the highlight of my day. I worked my mouth... the words sit hard on my tongue. 

I... I'm scared. Cause ya are my friend, one o' my best friends since day one... and I'm scared t'lose that

Marie Sackler: 

I nod silently feeling my heart sink. I always feared the same thing.

The last thing I would want is to lose your friendship Clyde... A traitorous tear slides down my cheek. My chest hurts suddenly, my heartbeat pounds in my ears.

I am sorry, you're right Clyde. We are best friends. I shouldn't of said anything. It's silly. I mean you don't need another woman chasing you around. Bro's over hoe's right? A weak laugh fell from my lips.

KillerSmileClyde: 

My face grows angry at your words. What? What did you just say? I rise to stand up at my full height, walking to stand in front of you against my desk, effectively pinning you in place.

I don't ever want to hear you speak o'yerself like that again. I turn slightly and rub my hand over my mouth, eyes pinching near closed. Is that really what you think of me? That I'm out here just fuckin' 'round gettin' my dick wet? I thought y'knew me better than that...

Marie Sackler: 

Clyde's sudden energy shift, surges adrenaline through her veins.YOU ARE OUT FUCKING EVERYTHING! I roar in his face. I am surprised your back isn't fucking broken! How many women have you been with since we've been friends CLYDE LOGAN? How many? You think I didn't notice. I mean its not my business who you fuck but do not stand in front of me and pretend you are some fucking altar boy. I mean I think I heard about some kind of massive orgy at Duck Tape once..I poke his chest fiercely. I can't believe you.

 KillerSmileClyde: 

My mouth curls into a snarl. Are you fuckin' kiddin me? That's real smart comin from the girl who got shit faced drunk just a few nights ago and walked into a strangers room, stripped, and groped him! Then stayed in his bed! Spit flies from my mouth as my voice raises in frustration. I am always fuckin' here for you... offerin' food and a safe place t'nurse yer hangover or an ear when ya had a bad day. CAUSE I CARE Marie!

Im pacing the room now. y'know what. I ain't gonna say I'm sorry... cause I'm not. I never got attention from girls growin up. They all wanted Jimmy. Then I went overseas and came back fucked up. No one wanted me then neither. So yeah, I'm getting attention. Call me a man whore, I don't care. It makes me feel good and I deserve that. After all the shit I've been through I deserve to feel good. My voice cracks with emotion as tears form in my eyes.

Marie Sackler: 

My heart smashes behind my ribs. Don't you dare Clyde. Don't you fucking dare try to pull this card on me! You know that I know about your past. I know what you have endured from your injuries overseas. And fuck Jimmy! He only draws in the airheads!

 My nostrils flare as I move towards the door. I want to reach out to him and cradle his head against my bare breasts, kiss that prolific nose. I see the tears in his eyes, and it feels like the wind has been knocked from my lungs. I want to feel his smooth hair in my fingers and caress his painful, invisible scars.

Don't talk to me about pain Clyde.. I know pain too. I know what it's like to be the girl that's always overlooked, you know. How about being the fat girl in school that is ALWAYS THE FUCKING BEST FRIEND! I scream, punching the door. I am reliving my teen years every fucking time I come into this bar and see all the women that get to have your undivided attention.

KillerSmileClyde: 

WOMAN... are you blind? This is my job ... it's work. I talk and flirt and I get bigger tips, which y'know PAYS MY GODDAMN BILLS. I pull my hair in frustration, groaning loudly. If ya wanna hit and break shit, let's do it. I pick up and throw the lamp from my desk, shattering into pieces on the floor. Go head. But if I hurt ya so damn bad every time ya walk in that damn door, why the hell ya keep comin' back? Huh? If I'm nothing but a painful reminder what's the point anyway...

I hated the words coming out of my mouth as I said them. Pushing people away before they could drop me was the only way I could protect myself. Even though, I knew I would be crushed if I never saw her again. Hating myself for making her feel like I had. She deserved so much more than I could give.

Marie Sackler: 

The crash of the lamp hurls me into fight or flight—too many memories of waking up to the sounds of screams and broken glass. Oh, okay, so you are a fucking whore then! 

The anger spills out of me like poison. I grab a nearby paperweight and fling it into the opposing wall. It smashes, leaving a hole in its wake. 

Why do I keep coming back? That's a good fucking question. Tears stroll down my face as I yell. Why do I? Because you are the purest fucking person, I've ever met. It is fucking INFURIATING! 

Without looking, I grab the picture off a nearby wall and smash the frame over my knee; as it drops to the floor, staring back up at me is a photo of Clyde with his Marines squad, full-bodied and smiling. It snaps the already unraveling coil inside of me, and I scream in frustration and sadness. Tears rushing down my face, I heave open the door and move back into the bar.

KillerSmileClyde: 

The physical display of her emotional turmoil slapped me in the face as I saw my most prized possession, a picture of me and my brothers in arms, before I lost part of myself, shatter on the floor. I grab her wrist before she can make it past the door, pulling her back in and slamming the door. 

NO! Ya don't just get to storm off... we are finishin' this... now. I take a few deep panting breaths trying to collect myself.

Ya can't have it both ways Marie. Ya can't call me pure and a fuckin whore. That don't make no sense. I huff out a groan. I wish you could see yourself like I see you. This incredibly smart, wickedly funny, don't take no shit kind of woman.

No one else would dare talk to me the way you just did. Honestly, if it woulda been anybody else I woulda knocked em out, no questions asked and not felt a single thing. But you... ugh... FUCK! I kick my desk as I turn and walk away.

Marie Sackler:

I grit my teeth at his grasp on me, hauling me back into his office. Intuitively my body tenses, and the instinct to fight, to survive, kicks in.

Are we really going to get that definite with our insults, Clyde? Pure, as in you have a good heart. You know what I meant. I tell you all the time, how wonderful you are. It's no fucking secret. It's never really been that much of a mystery, has it? How I feel about you?.... 

You stand here crooning my praises now? You have no problem humming pretty words in the ear of those little things that come into the bar every night. You have feelings for me, Clyde Logan? 

You have a fantastic way of showing them. How many women have been staying at fucking Casa' Logan? Don't try to pull the emotional card on me! 

How many times did I see you 'go get supplies' out back with Claire while I sat in this very bar nursing a drink? How many nights did you stay at Desiray's? I mean, I thought you had fucking moved in with her...

A shriek tears through my chest. 

I sound like a jealous asshole! 

I thrust open the office door, causing more frames to fall from the wall. I propel into the barroom.

KillerSmileClyde: 

I stomp after her back into the bar. Marie stop. Everyone else get the fuck out! I can tell she's fuming but she stays in the bar, the last of the faceless patrons fumble out the door. What in the actual fuck Marie?

I've never seen you act like this. You don't get to come in here and treat me like I'm the fuckin asshole when you're guilty of the same fuckin' shit. Ya done some shady shit too and I don't throw it back in your face.

Even years ago when you were obsessed with that asshole Adam. I don't get it. I know I'm not perfect... but damn... ya ain't gotta act like such a fuckin' cunt.

Shit. I pull my hair and yell as i throw a chair into the jukebox, immediately regretting what I said, I don't mean it. I'm hurt because her words are true. I've treated her like shit and she called me out on it. So if I'm hurting she will too.

Marie Sackler: 

I could scarcely comprehend; the offense that fell from his lips. I hardly hear the chair splintering and rattling to the floor. This night, his words, they cut and wound me intensely-wind is knocked from my chest; this man is one of my most trusted and dearest friends.

This is who we are? When we are all stripped down? I lock my gaze with his dusky amber eyes. Wordlessly, I step to him and halt inches from his broad chest; tilting up my head, I hear his labored breathing. Without warning, I strike his face—the vibration of the impact reverberates throughout the bar.

Fuck you, Clyde Logan Logan! I slam my balled-up fists into him, shoving him back.Leave me be then! Fuck off! I swallow down the urge to fall to the floor and sob.

KillerSmileClyde: 

The vitriol that had spewed from my lips was too much. I knew it. You knew it. But nothing could take back what I said. The damage was done. The sting that bloomed across my face with the harsh impact of your hand made my head ricochet back and forth. It was like a dam broke within me. 

"Fuck me? NO...FUCK YOU! ...using my full fuckin' name like you're my momma or some shit.

When your fists pushed me back I nearly fell, stumbling over my own feet. Your words 'leave me be' break me. My jaw drops as i watch the emotion roll over you, threatening to drown you. I finally find the courage to speak again.

...Marie... I... I'm sorry.

Shame floods over me and I lose every ounce of resolve I had. I don't even remember why we are fighting, other than I'm a piece of shit who always ruins everything. Jimmy thought so, being a shitty look out, Mellie just pitied me. The Bang Brothers thought I was just a simple minded hick. The fucked up thing is I didn't even realize I fucked up the greatest thing I had, Marie, until it was too late.

Hit me... I deserve it. 

I whisper and drop to my knees before you, offering myself for any punishment you deem necessary. When I look up at you again, silent tears are falling down my face.

I'm sorry for everything. I understand if you never wanna talk to me again. I know I can't take back what I said and bein' hurt doesn't make what I did right. I'll do anythin' to fix it... please Marie... just say somethin..

Marie Sackler: 

His dark waves cascade over his face, veiling his downcast eyes. I feel it, the hurt in every word. I know his heart is destroyed; I know Clyde Logan. This is what makes this so hard. Clyde's a good man, a kind, loving man. But, it couldn't cancel the words. It doesn't erase the long-held feelings, the canceled plans, and seeing him waste all of his love on one night stands and summer flings; when I've been standing here the whole time... I shake my head slowly, tears freely spilling onto my blouse. 

"Thank you...for the apology. You're right. It doesn't change anything. It shouldn't have had to come to this for everything to be revealed. I am sorry too.

I am sorry that I came here tonight.

I turn to leave DuckTape.

KillerSmileClyde: 

There are a few moments where your words don't register. My brain refusing to believe any of this is real. It must be a dream. No. A horrible nightmare. That must be it... but the sound of the wooden floor creaking under your feet as you turned to leave reminded me it was real.

I hadn't dreamt of loss since the accident. For some reason this hurt even more than losing my hand. What did I do then? When I wanted nothing more than to curl in a ball and let the world waste away around me, swim out too far just to float away until no land was in sight. Did I give in? No. I fought. With every tooth and nail I could, I fought to get back what I had lost. Today would be no different.

I mumble to myself oorah.... I try to stand, to chase after you like they do in the movies but my boot toe catches against the loose board and causes me to trip midway up, one foot and opposite shin on the hard floor. My left forearm arm rests on my bent leg, my words are a broken whisper that can barely be heard.

Marie... please...

Marie Sackler: 

What is meant to be a whisper comes over me, similar to a whirlwind.

“Marie...please..."

I turn and see Clyde on one knee, scarlet faced, tears running down his cheeks. The sight of him springs a sob buried within. I let go of the door handle and move slowly towards him. 

Please, what Clyde? I bite my cheek to restrain myself from coming undone as I study the pain etched in his face. His eyes bore into mine, I want to blink away and look past him, but I can't. The tone in my plea is gentle but resolved. 

"Please...what..?

[sugarandspice-games]

Spicy take time (costarring Sugar): The Bros rated by how well I think their arcs/character development/relationship with MC was written and how much it makes sense. (Disclaimer: Our affection for these characters and how interesting, compelling, and lovable we find them has ZERO bearing on this list. ALSO, beware, here there be salt, IE, this is critical of the writing. It’s also long as fuck, so if you just wanna skim and read the bold parts, that’s okay too. You are also free to disagree with us as this is just an opinion, and keep in mind that we have only read to chapter 24 so if there are elements of the story we are unaware of... please be understanding of that and don’t spoil it.) Let’s get started, shall we?

1) Starting at the top is BEST BOI IMO: Beelzebub. So, yeah, in terms of character development and growth, he really doesn’t change all that much, aside from starting off not trusting MC to slowly opening up to them about his trauma. But putting that to the side, his relationship with them makes the most sense. After sharing a bedroom and helping him open up, as well as having the mutual goal of protecting Luke, and then even later going on to save his beloved little brother, it follows that he absolutely adores you afterward. Also, he doesn’t start off disliking you like some of the others. So, all around, he makes the most sense. He’s also one of the deeper characters with his backstory, even if I wish they’d give him other flaws than just being hongry (and playing his unhealthy eating habits/coping mechanism as a joke. Disordered eating should be taken more seriously, especially binge eating but that’s a can of worms for another day)

2) Second best is probably going to shock you, but Satan takes this spot. Why? Well, strictly in terms of arc progression, his relationship with MC starting out as one of manipulation and growing into something more genuine when they go on a heartwarming and wacky adventure together with his hated older brother which causes him to open up makes a lot of sense, at least more so than some of the others. While I wish they gave him more meat characterization wise, I think his arc was pretty well done in terms of story structure.

Okay, so, Sugar here. While I agree with Spice that Satan could use some more meat (and that we should be able to have some more information on Baby Satan because we all need that in our lives), I think that the progression of him and LUCI’S bond (not MC’s) could have done with more subtlety. While I appreciate him softening up, and see that progress, we don’t really get to see the tension of the newfound change and how he settles into letting things go/mellow out and I get it-- it’s a dating sim and the secondary relationships are well, secondary, but it would be interesting to see him and MC bond more through time.

3) Third place probably won’t be all that shocking, because this is where I’m placing Lucifer. He’s arguably one of the characters in the series who’s gotten the most love from the writers, having the most screentime, the most affectionate scenes with MC, and the most fleshed out backstory and characterization as well as fleshed out relationships with each of the characters. His relationship progression with MC also takes a nice, even pace, with him slowly learning to trust them and respect them, culminating in an almost-confession (I THINK. Unless I’m reading that part wrong) and then being shattered at MC’s betrayal, and then earned back in true Pixar-movie fashion by them teaming up for a common goal. HOWEVER. And this is a big however. I would love to see his unhealthy tendencies addressed and NOT fetishized. (Don’t come at me with that “BUT THEY’RE DEMONS THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE EVILLLLL” dude. If a demon being in a healthy relationship is where you draw the line in terms of believability, then why are you playing a fantasy demon dating sim anyway?) I love him, I stan him, I simp for him, but I wish he had at least apologized for his not-subtle threats of physical violence toward MC rather than jumping straight into the ALSO kinda violent “You’re mine and nobody else’s” gimmick.

Unlike some men (SPICE), I am actually not a Luci stan and while I do have a soft spot, and understanding of his place as an eldest sibling... I would also like to see the writer’s unravel the unhealthiness/coping Lucifer has in place and why/how it came to be. I feel like we get a sense that Luci has thawed since coming to the Devildom but we don’t really see how Lucifer in the Celestial Realm (and how his friendship with Simeon) has progressed. Luci has a lot of love from the writers but from a story stand-point, he is never really allowed to be weak and own up to his own flaws and how that has impacted/hurt MC.

4) Sharing fourth place is Leviathan and Mammon! I’m putting them in the same spot because the issues I have with them are the same, though I plan on addressing their good points individually. But since my beef is simpler, I’m going to start off with the bad. IMO, a good rivals to friends to lovers romance happens in STEPS. You start off from not getting along, to then finding some things in common, and gradually coming to respect each other, and then like each other, and finally love each other. This... doesn’t really happen with these two, and while we see the change from both tsundere boys starting off disliking you and eventually coming to love you, we don’t really get that inbetween that makes the payoff so much worth it. And if those inbetweens are there, the story doesn’t really tell us that, and it doesn’t show us their thought processes. Like, how much would it suck if in pokemon, your charmander evolved immediately into Charizard upon beating your first few gyms? It’s like that.

But as for the good, Levi’s arc makes sense because you’re the first person to really let him be himself and not shame him for the things he loves. You let him ramble about his interests and show interest in them yourself (AT LEAST IF YOU’RE NOT A FUCKING MONSTER. I’ll let Sugar talk more on him, that’s their boy.)

Whoo, boy. Here we go! For whatever reason, the otaku became my favorite and I love him, but as far as arcs go... He could have gotten a bit more screentime and progress. It makes sense that he would become attached to MC as his brothers are very, very... critical and patronizing about his interests. He is also by far the most skittish and introverted of the bunch, coupled with his sin and seeing all the ways he falls short (in his eyes) is a recipe for loneliness and desire for companionship/friendship. While I am not happy with the progression, for me, it makes sense and I would also have loved to see some breaking/softening of how much his Sin influences him when it comes to MC. I’m not saying erase it because demons are meant to give in to temptation but some reassurance and acceptance of that would be good.

(I also know that there is some disk horse about him guilt-tripping you about spending time with his brothers and while I agree it can be hard... It definitely isn’t on a painful level. Like, say... Ray’s in Jihyun’s route in Mystic Messenger. This also is a difference for players who are interested in one love route versus the many route and different strokes, but I digress.)

As far as Mammon goes, well, you’re his first. And he’s not only glad that there’s someone who’s kind to him instead of making fun of him, but also takes pride in having someone to protect. His puppy crush going to full blown love is adorable.

This blog is all about spicy takes, yeah? Well, here’s mine (Sugar): Mammon is lovable but not as lovable as he could be and before all the Mammon stans, come for me- let it be known I like Mammon but his introduction and how he comes to be soft is NOT an easy, or believable transition. There are ways to write a good tsundere and the writers just missed the mark by having Mammon be too callous and then slipping to lovable without that sweet slide into the other end. I will not deny he is very cute, and a good character, and a good brother (and also the most human, according to Satan’s home screen interaction) but... The progression and endearment factor is lacking because of the structure of the narrative.

5) Is another unsurprising one, but this spot is Belphegor’s. Solmare. My dude. Why did you do this. We could have had it ALL. It could have been great. But you screwed the pooch. You took anything good about this relationship out behind the shed and shot it like a lame horse. Let it be known that I LIKED Belphie and MC’s alliance to get him out of gay baby jail, and I adored that love he still holds for Beel... I thought he was going to be a fav of mine, in fact. But how they handled the... uhm... murder ruined it for me. I’m sorry, I just cannot believe that I’m supposed to suddenly be besties with the man who manipulated me and crushed me to death like, a week after it happened. What if I have PTSD from that??? Also... he claims that he loves MC for who they are and not because of Lilith, but that’s not believable when his whole turning point is finding out that they’re Lilith’s descendant. The change needed to be more gradual, and having a subtle, gradual forgiveness arc would have been AWESOME but we were robbed. ROBBED I TELL YOU!!!!!

Annnd... Belphie is actually one of my favorites FOR SOME REASON. I DON’T KNOW MAN. I agree that we could have had it and I’m like (Insert Hades red flaming hair gif here). The decision to not have a redemption arc ruined it for me and while I love Belphie and his softness/brattiness mixture with handling MC... It is underscored by a lack of believable affection and the payoff of struggle on both Belphie’s part and MC’s. Also, there is a lot of ‘You are not who I want you to be, but it’s good enough’ with MC regarding their lineage and connections to the brothers and how that plays out/color the relationships with maybe the exception of Satan and surprisingly, Mammon that irks me but again, another thought for another time.

6) Aaaaand last and also the least... Asmodeus. “YOU GET NOTHING!!! YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY SIR.” --Solmare to Asmo. The writers neglected him SO much, I like him but what the hell are they doing? There’s so much that could be explored here, and with anything involving Asmo they’re like “I do not see it”. His love for MC also isn’t really that believable when his turning point is realizing that they’re powerful. It doesn’t even fit with any of his potential conflicts. The Diavolo’s castle arc set us up to think that Asmo would have some deep seated insecurities with not being able to be loved or desired by everyone, or maybe some insecurities about not being an angel anymore, or some vulnerability issues or something, and they were just like NOPE. It doesn’t make any gotdamn sense! I just... Grrr. Asmo, I’m so sorry, sweetie. You deserve better.

Asmodeus definitely deserves better and I will stand by that until the day I stop playing this damn game. While I, personally, think that his intrigue with MC makes sense (because he is lusty-- probably not just for sex but in general), it makes sense he would want someone with power but while the set up is there, his character falls flat because there is no bonding moment, or turning point for him at all. His affection for MC is still that playful, carefree, flirty persona he carries and I would love to see it dropped and how his fall from the Celestial Realm really weighs on him and an arc where he and MC talk about vulnerability and the power behind being seen as someone attractive and the way it dehumanizes you at the same time. It could be good-- hell, it could be great-- but it was killed before it started and I will never not think that Asmo could have had some KILLER growth. As it stands, he has more connection/romantic potential with Solomon than MC.

Anyway, that’s all for now folks! Feel free to yell at us in the replies, you know you want to. If this post blows up enough, maybe we can rate the undatables (though they don’t have any story arcs so... that would be a challenge.)

[oftenderweapons]

The Conversations - part 3/3

Characters: Hoseok, Taehyung

Wordcount: 2.2k words

Genre: slice of life, discussion of NSFW topics, conversation

Rating: suggested 18+

Hello readers! I’m back and I bear gifts!

This is the final installment for The Conversations. In this piece Tae and Hobi discuss their relationships with their girlfriend, Lace -- Tae’s gf -- and Giggles -- Hobi’s --, sharing some spicy details and offering each other advice. Since I consider them the “freakiest” among the guys, do expect some TMI. 

TRIGGER WARNINGS: so much BDSM I had to read a handbook, impact play and dedicated objects, bondage and restrictions, themes of domination and submission, use of safeword and mentions of subspace. Voyeurism and exhibitionism, adult clubs and dungeons, public sex, masturbation and oral sex. Blindfold, powerplay, roleplay. Mentions of a sextape... :’) (also hints of a possibly angsty Namjoon future fic, I had to.) 

Wordcount: 2.2k

And here is my masterlist :)

Enjoy!

“Hey hyung, sorry for last night.” Taehyung said, sitting beside Hoseok at the lunch table in the common room.

“It’s okay, no biggie.” Hoseok already had a bright smile on, warm and honestly unbothered by the event.

“I didn’t knew Giggles was at your’s.” Taehyung opened his lunch, starting to analyse the various boxes and cups.

“Yeah,” Hobi’s ears turned reddish. “It was a surprise for me too.”

“How is it going?” Tae cheered as he found the main course. Beside him Hoseok stirred his noodles.

“It’s great. She’s fantastic. How about Lace?”

“She’s doing great. We’re doing great.” Taehyung looked around a little to see if anyone could possibly overhear. “We experimented with a riding crop. Best decision of my life.”

Hoseok laughed out loud, smashing his free hand enthusiastically against the table. “Glad to know. Giggles prefers the paddle. Or my hands. But yeah, Lace gives crop vibes.”

“She’s a huge freak.” Tae took some kimchi, mixing it with his rice. His mouth still half full, he muttered. “But I guess I am, too.”

“As long as she likes that there’s nothing wrong.” He too took a bite of his own food. “Wanna share?”

“What? No.” Tae filled his mouth some more. “I mean, I have to ask Lace first.”

“I mean the food, you pervert.” Hoseok bent over his dish, “though I guess nor Lace nor Giggles would oppose.”

“God, Lace is such an exhibitionist.” Tae said, motioning to his side dish and inviting Hobi to take what he liked.

Hobi also put his smaller boxes in the middle. “And you’re a voyeur, which works just fine.”

“Match made in heaven. Does Giggles like it too?”

“She likes it enough. But, she’s not that visual. She prefers focusing on other senses.”

“I kinda reckoned.” Taehyung remembered the previous night, when he’d endlessly knocked on Hobi’s apartment door only to have his hyung come to the door half undressed, faux leather pants on, his forehead sweaty. Behind him, Tae could recognise a woman -- well, Giggles -- fully naked, sitting on a chair, wearing nothing but a blindfold. And several feet of rope.

“Freak.” Deadpanned Hoseok.

“What about you, freak?” Tae also stirred his noodles, enjoying the steam coming from them together with the heavy smell of soy sauce and fried peppers.

“Do you want me to say I enjoy having her at my mercy, nothing but a blabbering mess, incapable of getting away or understanding what’s going to happen to her?” Hoseok was overly descriptive on that. “Because yes, I do.”

“So not only blindfolded but also tied up?”

“If she’s not behaving, then yes.” Hoseok suddenly looked stern.

“I bet she doesn’t behave much.”

“At all.” Hoseok smirked. “I think I should change her punishment to something she enjoys less.”

“Lace hates not touching me.” Tae fits a huge meat roll in his mouth.

“Giggles is not bothered, as long as I’m touching her. She needs to feel some sort of an anchor, a safety line, so to say.”

“Well, I’d need one too if I were tied up and in the dark.” His mind wandered back to one of his first times with Lace, when he’d let her cover his eyes with a thick silk scarf tied behind his head, his body at her mercy, as she observed him and touched him without him knowing where she’d land her attack, without his intense gaze following her every movement and making her flustered. She had confessed feeling free, unjudged. Not that he would ever judge her, but he knew that he would feel conscious too if he were the one in the spotlight, were the roles to be reversed. He knew he would feel freer without his lover looking at him, analysing where his attention gravitated. But this happened at the beginning, when they were still learning. Now their most pressing need is watching each other. 

“Well. Once it got bad. She got into subspace. Only time she used her safeword. That’s why we don’t use handcuffs anymore.” Hoseok’s face was instantly dull. He still tortured himself for what had happened that one time. The look in Giggle's eyes as he let her wrists free, the angry red marks on her skin showing the indentations of the metal. The way she had seemed so broken, so lost. And the heavy tears falling on his chest as she hid in his form, clinging to him.

"Just once? Me and Lace had to use them a couple times. Both of us. Sometimes she's not in the right mindset and she asks me to stop and cuddle her. Sweetest thing in the universe." His eyes turn dreamy. "After her taste, obviously."

Hoseok laughs and punches him lightly. "TMI, bro."

"Come on, if Giggles tasted that sweet you would boast too."

"I'd rather keep that honey all to myself."

"Greedy." Taehyung poured himself some cola, watching it fizzle before downing it in one go. "By the way, do you have any good role play suggestion? I'm thinking of surprising her during the weekend but I'm so tired I can barely think."

"Strangers at the hotel. Book a room, meet at the lobby and then go upstairs to fuck like bunnies?" Hobi said it without even thinking. 

"Done that."

"It's a classic. Giggles loves it. She fucks me like a slut." He snickered softly, nothing but dark mischief in his voice, but also undying fondness for his beloved.

"And that's TMI." Tae quips.

"You asked."

"Yeah, fair."

"Maid and master. Or butler and madame. You pick." Hobi drank some Sprite directly from the bottle.

"Cliché." Taehyung tutted and proceeded with his meal. “I don’t know. Not really.”

"Artist and muse? I don't know man, you're super picky." It came out with his typically whiny intonation, his tone a rollercoaster as he got deeper into thought.

Taehyung stayed quiet for a few minutes, mulling over the possibility. “Could do.”

The other man slurped in his noodles, finishing them and sipping the soup. “So, roleplay, uh?”

“It makes me feel freer. Like I’m not V from BTS. Like I’m just a boy who loves his girl.”

Hobi nodded. “You don’t know the incredible amount of places I wish I could fuck Giggles.”

Tae clapped his hands and laughed. “Like that one time at the restaurant. Damn, you disappeared for half an hour.”

Hoseok stood up to discard his container, then sat down again. In the meantime he reminisced. How Giggles had smiled mysteriously at him, holding his hand and carefully taking him away from the main scene, into a corridor and then to the restroom. He remembered how she’d palmed him heavily, how he’d cum in her mouth after five minutes of her devoted ministrations. He remembered how Giggles had fingered herself as she was sucking him, waiting for him to be done so he would crouch down, bunch up her skirt and eat her out until her eyes crossed and her legs quivered, lost in ecstasy.

“Sometimes I wished I could just get lost somewhere like in an alley or drive off in the countryside and get it all loose.” Hoseok huffed quietly as he cleaned after his meal, grabbing an half empty tube of ice cream and setting it on the table, again sitting beside Tae. “Make her take off her panties while we’re out for dinner. Do her against the mirror in the elevator.”

“The one back at the dorms...” Tae arched an eyebrow, nodding knowingly.

“Yeah. Or like… Go to a club and just finger her on the dancefloor. Or in a dark nook.” His eyes crinkled shut.

“I get it. People knowing you sucks sometimes. Lace and I wanted to go to one of those... dungeons? Or maybe like an adult club. One of those places where you can perform in front of a crowd. Try some real exhibitionism. And some serious bondage.” Taehyung finished his own meal, discarding the finished cups and plates and grabbing a spoon to share the ice cream.

“Like, shibari?” Hobi asked, making eye contact with his friend.

“Yeah, why not.” Tae shrugged. “Lace would be interested. We’ve done mild things before and she enjoyed, but those are things you need to learn with an expert and just thinking of all the things that could go wrong makes me shiver.” He took a big mouthful of ice cream, almost freezing his brain in the process.

“I took an online course. Kinda fun.” Hoseok smiled and turned a bit shy. “Giggles was ecstatic. We learned some extra knots together, from a book our teacher recommended. She’s a keen student. Very dedicated.” He exploded in bubbly laughter.

“Would you let her tie you up?” Tea asked.

“I don’t know if she wants to, but I would let her.” Hobi blushed. “I wouldn’t mind. She’s talented. And disciplined. Very careful and diligent. I know I would be in good hands. What about you?”

“I’ve already let Lace tie me up.” Taehyung was absolutely confident, his voice neutral. “I enjoy letting her manhandle me every now and then.” He shrugged again, blowing his cheeks and rubbing at his chin. “She can do that. Honestly, she did take some lessons and taught me a few things. We explore a lot together.” At this, his eyes moved to the floor, a bit flustered. Lace knew his body like no one else in the world. He had spent years living in it and getting to know it, but his girlfriend had put body and soul into exploring him, memorising every small tell, every little quirk and sweet spot. Lace had unravelled him in a couple weeks, studying his anatomy with a maniacal precision. And when he allowed her to take control of him, her knowledge showed. Her fingers could draw endless pleasure, keeping him on his toes for hours and then making him explode like fireworks. But the most important thing was the way she had learned to soothe him, to care after him, her affection like balm to his bitter moods and darkest nights.

“Glad for you.” Hoseok gave him a pat on the shoulder, drawing him in for a hug.

Taehyung was getting ready to leave. “I got to talk to Namjoon. He’s giving me feedback on some lines in English. By the way, have you heard of him and Vixen?”

“What?”

“Had a fight. He’s hell-bent on making it up to her.” Tae scrunched his nose. “Guk sorta walked in on them in the studio the other day. I don’t know if they made up.”

Hoseok pouted. “Joon temper’s sucks. Boy got some pent up pressure and he’s gonna blow a fuse someday or other. Plus Vixen’s no saint.”

“She holds him accountable for his bullshit. Takes good care of him. Plus, man, she’s a keeper.”

“Truly.” Hobi thought back to the sparks between her and Namjoon everytime they’re together. If that wasn’t love, then he didn’t know what it could ever be. Probably it was the way Giggles searched for his hand when she was afraid, the way she always looked at him when she found something funny, or that small breath she held every time he said her name. Or even the way he needed to bury his nose in her neck when he needed to rest. How he always put his hand on the small of her back when he needed her at his side, when he looked for support and protection.

Taehyung already had his hand on the handle of the kitchen’s door when Hoseok stopped him. “How do you store your… stuff, with Lace?”

“You mean what? Toys? Porn? Pics?”

The older huffed. God, he’s really shameless. “Your vids?”

Taehyung’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh. That stuff. I assume you’re not hiding it from her?”

“I was thinking of shooting something. I need safe storage.” Hoseok rubbed at his forehead, crossing his arms.

“Avoid phones. Worst thing. Get yourself a good camera and a decent memory card. Like 72GB. Keep all the stuff in the memory card or pen drive. Lace and I have it in our bedside table. Never keep stuff on the phone or in cloud.” He pointed a finger towards Hoseok for emphasis. “I would recommend an action camera, which is practical like a phone but safer. But if you do use a phone, no connection, no wifi, nothing. Just a phone used like a good ol' camera. Move all the stuff away as soon as you’re done.”

“Yeah, that was sort of a given..” Hobi nodded. “So, a camera? Suggestions?”

“Depends? Handheld or tripod?” Taehyung asked, checking his phone.

“You know me. Hands on my girl, and I like shifting a lot.”

“Tripod. Definitely. I’ll send you some links for reference tonight. Enjoy.”

[parkeraul]

Little Black Dress and Little White Lies with Shawn! (aka some of THE best 1d bops)

→ excruciating | s.m

ann’s note — thanks for requesting. i hope i kept it up to these two LEGENDS we call songs. if u have requests, hit the askbox.

pairing: shawn mendes x reader 

masterlist┊add yourself to my taglists┊give me feedbacks.

warnings: alcohol, swearing, angst and teasing.

“Heads up!” Brian whispers, elbowing Shawn lightly and it makes him almost spill the drink out of his glass. 

“Dude—”

“Here comes trouble.”

When Shawn tilts his head to see above the crowd, he wishes he had some camomile tea instead of vodka inside the glass. His instant reaction is to roll his honey eyes and look up to the ceiling right after, as if he asked God the reason why, he’d get an answer. But of course Shawn is quick to glance back at Y/N’s direction, because he wouldn’t wanna be the only person in that room to miss the sight of her crossing the door. And fuck, she’s never looked this fierce before. 

Y/N proudly trails her way inside with a silk black dress that hugs her body in all the sinful ways, her neck being partly hidden by a black velvet collar. The straps of the dress are thin, so there’s more than just her cleavage showing up. Her shoulders are exposed too, and all her torso shines beautifully in every single angle. Her face and hair are done in that way she loves so much and Shawn swears that if the room was silent, people would hear his heart pounding.

“Fuckin’ shit.”

Shawn turns his back to the door and faces the window that draws all the way from the ceiling to the floor, walking towards the glass to drop his forehead onto it, wishing it would break above him and kill him before she did. He presses his lips against each other in a thin line, breathing deeper as he looks at Connor switching glances between Y/N and him. Without thinking twice, Connor laughs drunkenly and curls his left hand on a fist, tapping loudly his open right hand on top of it repeatedly — you’re screwed.

“I know, man,” Shawn mouths through gritted teeth. “I know.”

Brian approaches his friend with a grin on his lips, a stupid grin, Shawn would say. He can spot it through the glass’ reflection, and he squeezes his drink with a certain might. 

“What are you waiting for?” The ginger boy speaks up close to his ear, crossing his arm around his best friend’s shoulders. 

“Eh?” 

“Talking to her, dumbass,” Brian finishes his beer with a last gulp, already smelling way too much like alcohol for Shawn’s nostrils. “C’mon, step up your dick.”

Huffing, Shawn frowns and smiles confusedly against his own will. As if he wasn’t explicitly clear, Brian taps his back twice with heavy, clumsly slaps. 

“What makes you think I’d wanna talk to Y/N after that little stunt she pulled—”

“Man, that happened three months ago!” 

“So what?” 

“So what?” Brian screams, opening his arms in protest while Shawn crosses his own. “Bro, you weren’t even together. You told me that, you were just sleepin’ together for fun.” 

Down goes another alcohol sip through Shawn’s throat, and he hisses to the burning sensation wandering on his system. He catches back a memory, nodding in denial as he runs his hand through his curls. 

“I told her I wanted more,” He says shyly, inching his head to stare at the floor beneath his feet. “She scoffed. She just rambled, put on her clothes and left. I don’t wanna get there and make the same mistakes over and over again, I’m done.” 

“Shawn—”

“No, man, I mean it,” Insisting, Shawn eyes the surroundings with bitterness taking over his features. Jaw locked, cheekbones highlighting and his face is flushed, frustrated. “That was the last time she played games with me.” 

From afar, he hears the muffled sound of footsteps tapping against the stairs as the deafening song dies. Y/N’s climbing the degrees, purse on her hand as she holds the knot of her dress with her free hand on her back.

“Fine. Whatever you say.” Brian gives up. “And plus, there are plenty of people in this party, I’m sure y—”

“Yeah, yeah,” Shawn stares her body until she reciprocates the look, disappearing to the second floor and leaving him no other choice. “I’ll be right back.” 

And just like that, Shawn’s quickly out of Brian’s sight, seeking the way to the stairs as he tries to gently push people out of his way, leaving his drink somewhere far away from his wanting hands as he rubs them together. As he’s almost in front of the first degree, he rapidly undoes three buttons of his red shirt and uses the pads of his index finger and thumb to dry out the drink from the corners of his lips and pushing down the wooden under his feet to prompt himself closer to trouble. 

“Long time no see.” Shawn says flatly, walking slowly to the open door in front of him. 

Y/N jumps lightly, one strap of her dress sliding down her shoulder while she’s got both hands working on the stripes of the back part of her outfit. When she spots him, he’s leaning against the doorframe with arms crossed and chest partly exposed. She gulps, kind of speechless and looking behind his body to notice if there’s someone watching the scene. Shawn immediately walks past the bathroom’s door and closes it behind him, giving her more privacy but danger at the same time. 

“Missed me?” Y/N asks turning back to the mirror in front of her.

“You think you’re so good, don’t you?” Shawn spits in return, laughing under his breath and she knows better not to look at him. He surely has a boyish smile adorning his face, little scar making its presence together with his unruly curls and deadly gaze. His cologne inebriates the smaller place, and he insists on being in her view by standing behind her frame, leaning against the cold tiles. 

“That’s what you used to tell me.” Y/N answers, face serious and admiring her own reflection, struggling on the dress though. 

It gives Shawn the room to step forward, his calloused fingers immediately holding her wrists and putting them in front of her body delicately. They wander up her arms, leaving trails of goosebumps behind and finishing the trip on her neck, massaging the sides with his thumbs while his other fingers trap her throat very softly. 

“Tense?” 

“Around you?” Y/N asks, feeling the knot of her silk dress only loosening more. Soon, both straps fall down to her arms and she feels the need to inhale a bigger amount of air before speaking up again. “Never.” 

This time, Shawn chuckles out loud and runs his thumbs further up, massaging the sweet spot next to where her hair begins. To this, Y/N closes her eyes and leans against his touch, letting out the quietest whimper. And it isn’t enough for Shawn, because he starts to drift his hands back down to the extension of her bare back, mapping the smooth skin intensely. He drops his face down to sniff on the crook of her neck, licking his lips and planting a feather–like kiss on her shoulder, making her shiver. He envolves her hips with his tattooed arm while the other one comes back up to hold her chin lovingly, catching the view of her legs as he levels his face with hers, cheek to cheek. 

“Not one bit?” 

“M-Mm.” 

Purposely, Shawn giggles once again making sure his breath fans against her warm flesh. His mouth kisses up her neck as she tilts her head to the side, enjoying his touch. In each kiss, he pressed his lips down harder and Y/N grabs onto his arm, holding it strongly. 

When Shawn finishes his way up, he stops on the shell of her ear, “Then tell me why do your legs clench everytime I touch you, hm?” 

It’s not like he needed an answer, he came upstairs with a plan. As Y/N opens her eyes and catches his fiery glance through the mirror, Shawn knows it’ll be another night of making his name roll out of her tongue as his work on her whole body like he’d been wanting to do for so long — ‘cause nothing else tastes better than Y/N unraveling her true feelings under his control, eating her lies up.

Taglist: @tastebaldwin – @outlandishnerd – @shawnsheaven – @littlebrownngirl – @snowflakeparker – @mcuspidey

[obxhoe]

I Guess I Need To Wear Your Shirts More Often || JJ Maybank

a/n: yay more content for once. This is my first time writing smut so bear with me pleaseeee. I have an idea for a Rudy series that I wanna start thanks to an anon request so I'll post a little ~prologue~ soon. And I have some lil imagine, blurb things that are almost finished (some based off of lyrics from random ass songs I like). So shoutout to my university for doing online classes and to the pandemic for causing most of my time to be spent in my dorm, bc now i have an insane amount of free time.

Word count: ~1k

Warnings: literally straight smut. Like that’s all there is to this folks. Oh and unprotected sex (be smart, be safe friends). Cute lil fluffy ending ofc.

“See ya later bro” JJ calls to Pope, swinging his arm around your shoulder and walking toward the back porch of the Chateau.

“So what have you been up to beautiful?” He asks.

“Well I worked five to twelve thirty, went home, got bored and decided to come here. Where’s John B?” 

“He took Sarah out on the boat for the day. He said he wanted alone time with her, that we were hanging around them too much. I disagree though”

“Of course you do” You laugh at him. JJ was always at the chateau, he practically lived there so it made sense that the two felt like they needed a break from him. 

“Of course you do” He mimics you and you turn to him and swat his shoulder. 

“Oh you’ll pay for that” A dark smirk takes over his face. 

Your stomach flutters and your face flushes. Your phone pings and you go to grab it but his hands grasp yours before you can reach. He takes both of your wrists into his right hand, raises them above your head, and pushes you against the wall with his left. You let out a gasp, only encouraging his actions. His free hand traces your jawline, moving to the front of your neck, squeezing gently. Your eyes shut and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. He starts to kiss your neck and both of his hands drop to your bikini bottoms. In one motion, he unties both sides and drops to his knees as they fall to the ground. You curse, thinking it was under your breath but soon realize he fully heard it because he looks up and raises his eyebrows.

“Yeah baby?” He says, his voice deep. You nod, eyes closed. He chuckles, “Yeah I thought so.” His ego inflating with every second. 

He starts to kiss up the insides of your thighs as you go to take off your shirt, well JJ’s shirt that you stole from him. He stops his movements abruptly “As much as I love seeing you topless, I get so fucking turned on when you wear my shirts. Leave it on.” He commands. You drop the hem of the shirt and your hands move into his hair, signaling him to continue his previous actions. “Good girl” He mumbles as he moves his face closer to your center. The words make your stomach clench. He licks one, flat, stripe across your center, sending shivers throughout your body. Your breath hitches in your throat as he circles his tongue around your bundle of nerves.

“J,” You choke out.

“Mmm, that feel good baby?” he says as he continues to tease you with this tongue. You moan in response. “That’s not an answer. Use your words love.”

“Ye-yes. Please don’t stop.” Your struggle to speak. He pulls away and you moan at the sudden lack of contact. He spins you around, so that you’re facing the wall and drops his bathing suit bottoms to the ground. 

He sticks his fingers in your mouth and you tease him as you circle your tongue around them. He hisses and pulls them out, starting to pump his cock with the lubrication from your mouth on his fingers.

“Bend” He orders and you fold yourself over, ass hiked in the air. He pushes into you and you let out a deep sigh at the feeling, while he groans from deep within his throat. He starts slowly, teasing you and working you back up to where you were a few moments ago. His hand wraps around your front to gently squeeze your throat. Then moves down to start playing with your clit. His other hand holds your waist steady, finger tips pressing hard, sure to leave bruises in the morning. The pressure slowly starts to build up and he can tell. Your breath is ragged, hand gripping the wall. He slows down his fingers, edging you to your end. He speeds up and slows down, wanting your orgasm to be a powerful one. After a few minutes of the torturous yet pleasurable cycle, the final time he speeds up his actions, you unravel around him. You moan out his name, feeling his smirk against the back of your neck.

“Good girl” He says and he takes your shoulders and turns you to him, leading you to the kitchen counter. He picks you up and sits you on top, your legs spread open to him. He steps forward and pushes into you again, and you watch the pleasure take over his face. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. You bite his shoulder and rake your nails against his back and he lets out a grunt. 

“Fuck” He whispers into the nape of your neck “I won’t last if you keep doing that.” You hum against his shoulder and bite down again, sucking lightly, sure to leave a mark in the morning. He grabs your hair and pulls your head back, away from his body.

“I want to see your face when I cum love” He says, his voice raspy. You take your bottom lip between your teeth and watch him nod his head back and forth. “I can’t fucking stand it when you do that and you know it.”

“I know you do baby. Why do you think I do it?” You say, smirking, knowing that he loves it when you talk to him like this. His movements start to falter as he grabs the back of your neck and brings your forehead to his as he releases inside of you before collapsing into your neck.

You two stay there for a little while, playing with his hair. He leaves soft kisses against your throat and one on your nose before he says “John B can’t know we just fucked on the counter. He’ll give me hell for it until the day I die.” You laugh, pulling him closer.

“I guess I need to wear your shirts more often” You cock your head to the side, a smug smile spreading across your face.

“Oh yes. Yes you do.” He says picking you up and spinning you around. “Now let’s go surf, whoever wipes out the most buys dinner later.”

“You’re on Maybank.” You quickly dress and walk out together, hands intertwined, giant smiles plastered on both of your faces.

[dessiekarma]

My Harem is Entirely Bad Boy Types (Kirisaki Daiichi x Reader) Pt. 12

Chapter 12: This Will NOT End Like Every Other Harem Anime; We Want an Answer!

 (Y/N) smiled at the younger male who continuously made quite the show of staring at her. It would come as no surprise where he got the habit from, as the man sitting on the opposite couch didn’t do a much subtler job at gawking.

 “You’re not as hot as big bro made you seem.” The kid drolled out bluntly before flopping onto the couch and pulling out a Nintendo switch.

 “You rude little shit!” Hara exclaimed making his way into the room with a bottle of water. Just as quickly as the water was shoved into (Y/N)’s hand was the Switch pulled from the kid and held several feet over his head.

 “Triggered much!? Gimme my stuff! Oww!” The kid stopped taunting as an older woman delivered a smack onto his head.

 “Cut it out! Be nice to our lovely guest and don’t ruin this for your brother.” The woman hissed at her youngest son before smiling brightly at (Y/N). “Sorry my baby lacks some social graces much like I’m sure you’ve noticed with Kazuya.”

 “Mooooother please.” The lavender haired male groaned before dropping the switch onto his little brother’s face and sitting next to (Y/N).

 “I’m just teasing, sweetheart, she knows that. Do you need anything? Water, snacks, dinner?” The woman said being just a bit too generous and eager-sounding.

 “No, that’s okay Kazu-chan just brought me a bottle.”

 “Kazu-chan?” The woman smiled even wider, if that was possible and delivered little excited smacks onto her husband’s arm.

 “Darling, I think you might be scaring the poor girl.”

 “Says you, old man. You’ve been staring at her since she walked in the door.” Hara rolled his eyes, pulling the water bottle away from (Y/N)’s lips and taking a drink.

 “Ahh my son is right! I apologize, my wife may be a little excited to meet a girlfriend of Kazuya’s. We are just not used to him bringing girls home.”

 “Yea at least not ones that still have their clothes on.” His brother muttered quietly, sticking his tongue out at his brother death-glaring him.

 “Dad, ma, I already told you she’s not my girlfriend just my team manager.”

 “Sure bro, that why you never shut up about her?”

 “Ight imma beat his ass.” Hara stood up quickly and the preteen curled in on himself. Attempting to diffuse the situation (Y/N) took quick notice of the t-shirt the kid was wearing.

 “Hey cool shirt! Ochako is best girl, am I right?!”

 The kid instantly unraveled himself and sat straight up.

 “You like bnha?”

 “Hell yeah, it’s so cool! Lemillion is everything.”

 “Oh my god, did you see the new episode!?”

 “Surprisingly, I haven’t started the latest season yet.”

 “WHAT!? Well you have to watch it like right now!”

 “Are you offering?”

 “You’ll watch anime with me?” The kid now had a clear sparkle in his eyes as he jumped off the couch and pulled the girl up by the arm.

 Hara rolled his eyes as his weeb brother ran off with his equally weeb friend. Turning to his parents he could see the questioning in their eyes. Clearly wanting to know why he was bringing home a pretty beaten up girl at nine pm to meet them.

 “Look, you know how I mentioned having a female friend who was getting picked on? Well it’s gotten worse…much worse. She doesn’t feel okay going home right now and I didn’t want her to be alone. I offered for her to stay here.”

 Both his mom and dad looked at him blankly. The silence in the room was heavy.

 “I mean, please? Or is it okay if I stayed at a hotel with her?”

 The older woman suddenly shook her head, looking shocked. She turned to her equally flabbergasted husband.

 “Wait, honey, are you ASKING us?”

 “Well yeah. So, can she stay here for a bit?”

 “Of course she can.” His father responded still sounding a bit astonished.

 “Thanks. I’m gonna take a shower.”

 The two parents watched as their son made his way out of the room.

 “I can’t believe Kazuya actually asked our permission for something.”

 “Do you think it’s because of the girl? I think I like her already!”

 “What if he screws it up?”

 “Well…we still have two other single sons!”

~~~~~

 “Hey my mom sent me in here to clear out a pest problem.” Hara said nonchalantly bursting into the guest bedroom.

 (Y/N) jumped like a cat, startled by her friend’s abrupt entry.

 “I could have been changing or something!”

 “And? Come on, my eyesight is shit anyway.”

 “Not the point! Besides what pest problem?”

 Hara leaned against the wall and pulled open the nightstand to reveal a baby monitor. Talking into it he grew a shit eating grin.

 “What exactly were you hoping to hear through this you little perv!?”

 “Why don’t you mind your business you jerk!” A voice crackled through the monitor.

 (Y/N) couldn’t help but chuckle just a bit as Hara flung the device out the window.

 “You watched anime with that loser. That’s like third base in that kid’s eyes and you’re basically his girlfriend now.”

 “I’m flattered but I don’t think I can travel to America from prison.”

 The young girl tried to ignore the loud sigh that came from her friend. She knew that Hara was probably the one who disagreed the loudest with her decision to leave Japan. Flopping back onto the king size bed, (Y/N) wasn’t fazed when she felt Hara flop down beside her.

 A comfortable silence washed over the two. It went on for so long that (Y/N) was almost sure that she was seconds away from falling asleep. That’s why when Hara finally spoke, she easily chucked it up as her dreaming or hearing things.

 “(Y/N)?”

 “Hmm?”

 “If I told you I loved you…would you stay?”

 “If you told me you loved me would you even mean it?”

 “When have I ever shown myself to be someone who doesn’t say what they mean?”

 (Y/N) finally opened her eyes and turned her head. Instantly she was swept into the whirl-wind of Hara’s fantasy eyes. There was no playfulness in his face nor hidden joke. She waited for a punchline that never came.

 “Love is a strong word. Not even any of the other guys used that word.”

 “Because none of the other guys have enough experience to identify. And even those who do are too stubborn to admit it.”

 “And you’re not stubborn?”

 “I am. But right now all my stubbornness is focused on convincing you not to leave. Please? I’d take care of you. I wouldn’t let Mei, or your mother or grandfather so much as look at you if you didn’t want them to.”

 “But you know my plans.”

 “And you can accomplish them here. I would help and I’m sure my parents would literally bend over backwards to give you anything they could. Don’t you worry about leaving us? Worry that you’d miss us? Miss me?”

 “Of course. But it wouldn’t be forever…I just don’t know for how long it would be. But wow ‘love’ really?”

 “Yeah seriously. I’ve had more flings than I can count and a good number of girlfriends to boot. I know what infatuation feels like. I know what sexual desire feels like. Attraction, crushes, curiosity. I’ve felt all that before, but I never felt this one. I’d say the only thing left is love. Of course not that it means anything with you leaving.”

 “It doesn’t mean nothing.”

 “Don’t give me that shit. Do I seem like the type of guy to promise to wait for you however long it takes?”

 “Do I seem like the type of girl who would expect you to?”

 The silence came again this time feeling only a bit awkward.

 “I mean of course I’d fuck other girls while you were away. But uhh in terms of love…. A shitty guy like me? I wouldn’t have such great karma, to meet another girl. So I suppose no matter when you’d come back…”

 His voice trailed off and (Y/N) smiled at the thought of what he was trying to say. Feeling more comfortable than she had in days, the girl let her eyes close heavily and drifted to sleep.

~~~~~

 “She doesn’t wanna fucking see you and you have about one second to get the hell out of this gym before I turn you inside out.”

 Hara and (Y/N) looked at each other, hearing Yamazaki’s voice boom from outside the gym. She knew deep down what to expect and had come to terms that she would have to face everything head on before leaving.

 Filling her lungs with air, (Y/N) pushed open the door and was met with not just Ryo, but the entire Touou basketball team.

 Her ex looked like shit and maybe she was wrong for saying that she couldn’t bring herself to feel bad for him right now. Before she could even open her mouth to get a word out, Momoi was speaking up.

 “Please (Y/N), you really need to give Ryo a chance and listen to what he has to say!”

 “Huh you know I am really just tired of people telling me what I ‘have’ to do. But let’s say I’m willing to talk to ANY of you, what is there to say? Or actually should I get Mei in here, so you don’t have to rehash anything to her?” (Y/N) sarcastically retorted.

 “That’s not how it even happened! If you would let him explain you would understand that he wasn’t trying to tell that girl, he was talking to us and she overheard.” Wakamatsu called out loudly and almost accusingly, causing (Y/N) to scoff.

 “And if you would remove your head from that far up your ass you would understand how that only makes it worse. I’d give less of a shit how someone talks about me to my enemies then how they talk about me to my friends.” The young woman finally turned to eye up her ex. “What did I ever do to you for you to go and tell them the most personal thing that was between us?”

 “I was angry and…you moved on so fas-”

 “Fast? You think that was fast? You think months of me feeling like shit, of wondering where I went wrong, of thinking maybe I made the mistake…isn’t enough? How long was I supposed to hate my life for you to feel better about yourself?”

 “You know that’s not what I meant. You chose strangers over me, how was I supposed to feel about that?”

 “NO! I was never going to choose. YOU made me choose. I wanted to be a part of a team again but I wanted you too. You didn’t let me have both. Don’t resent me when you turned yourself into an option.”

 “I was worried about you! All of us were, don’t you get that? You had a tough enough time at Too and knowing your personal situation, we didn’t know how things were going to go for you at some rich kid school. The you go and befriend literally the only people we warned you about…It’s like you do it on purpose!

 “Do what on purpose?”

 “Cause problems for yourself! Then I hear you were attacked last night when even Aomine has told you to stay away from Haizaki and instead of just being quiet you have to always instigate. It’s like every bad thing that happens to you is becau-”

 “You need to stop talking.” A gruff voice came from behind the smaller male.

 (Y/N) was shaking with anger and tears at this point but forced her glare away from Ryo to look at Aomine.

 “You came because you wanted to apologize but all that’s come out of your mouth is bullshit.”

 “Sakurai, regardless of what you think I didn’t choose a lot of this. I didn’t ask to be born into a manipulative and abusive family, I didn’t ask to be born at all. I didn’t ask for Haizaki to attack me or any of the guys that have in the past. And I definitely didn’t ask for you to come here an insult me and my team. When you’re ready to actually apologize I’ll be willing to listen. Until then get out of my face.”

 Sakurai looked like he wanted to burst into tears, but he blinked his eyes harshly. Nodding gently he took a deep breath.

 “I still love you, you know. And I don’t know why I can say it all the time but had a hard time right now…I really am sorry more than you probably believe. I was so busy on trying to get the chance to talk to you at all that I didn’t think about what I was going to say. I’ll get it right next time, I promise.”

 “Now that you got your chance to give your sob story, you can go.” Hanamiya waved off the entire team before turning around and walking into the locker room.

 With nothing left to say each team turned and walked off, one side out of the gym and the other following their captain. Only two remained under the net.

 “Thanks for calling Sakurai out on his shit.” (Y/N) smiled softly at Aomine who didn’t have a readable expression.

 “It was annoying me plus I didn’t even want to be here.”

 “How did they manage to convince you?”

 “Told me it was a scrimmage. I’d be willing to play anyone who managed to piss off Tetsuya.”

 “Sorry to disappoint.”

 “I have a question though.”

 “Shoot.”

 “You’ve fucked all of them right?”

 “Aomine! How could you ask me that!?  I thought you were on my side!”

 “Calm down. I didn’t know there was a side to pick here. But you were the one who always hassled me with anime facts I didn’t want. And if anything stuck in my head it was big tiddy 2d girls and ”

 “Harem.” Both said at the same time.

 “We both said we weren’t pulling any weak bullshit if we ever found ourselves in the center of a harem. We were gonna use harem privileges to get laid. So, come on tell me some numbers. No details! I just want a body count. All five?”

 (Y/N) face grew red as she remembered all the times, she sat on the sidelines watching her boyfriend play basketball and rambled off to his less than participating teammate. To be fair she always assumed Aomine was asleep unless they started talking ecchi.

 “NO!”

 “No you won’t tell me or not all of them? At least 3?”

 “Look if it was any more than one, these guys would have ‘School Days’-ed my ass by now.”

 “I have no idea what the anime reference is but I can get the subtext that you did cash in your protagonist card once.” Aomine had a smirk on his face as he continued to tease his old teammate.

 The girl felt her face burn red but nodded her head in agreement.

 “Do they know you still love Ryo?” (Y/N)’s head shot up which made Aomine let out a cross between a scoff and a chuckle. “Even if you do love one of these assholes, even if its not the one you totally banged…you love Ryo too. Word of advice: don’t give up anyone you can’t imagine NOT being in your life 3 years down the road. Cutting ties with someone sometimes doesn’t have regret that hits you until you see them tied to someone else.”

 “Sounds like that’s coming from experience.”

 “Does it? Well even more of a reason to hear me out. I would say I’d see you around but something tells me I won’t…that right?”

 (Y/N) nodded at her surprisingly perceptive friend.

 “Good luck then.”

 “So, is it really true then?” A soft voice rang from behind the girl as the tan male closed the door to the gym. (Y/N) didn’t have to turn to know it was Yamazaki.

 “That I still love Ryo? Well-”

 “No, not that. We all know you do, I don’t think you’ve ever gone a week without talking about him. That’s the reason none of us have actually kicked his ass, y’know? I meant is it true that you love someone from this team?”

 (Y/N) turned around and for the first time in a while she made complete eye contact with the ginger haired male.

 “Yeah…at least I thought I did.”

 “You thought?”

 “Seems pretty horrible to love anyone if I’m not completely over my ex, doesn't it?”

 …

 “That wasn’t a jab at you, Zaki.”

 “No, that okay. There’s nothing you could say to me that I don’t deserve at this point. Not that I’m trying to throw myself a pity party or make you feel guilty for me feeling guilty or…ugh why is it so hard to talk to you!?”

 “You think I’m hard to talk to?”

 “I didn’t mean it in a bad way or anything! I just mea-”

 (Y/N) took a step closer to her friend and attempted to shift a piece of hair behind her ears only for Yamazaki to take a microstep back. Her eyes scrutinized him more before tucking the hair away.

 “Mei hasn’t been kind to you ever, has she?”

 “Why did you bring her up?”

 “You flinched away from me right now.”

 “No I didn’t!” His voice practically boomed before he seemed to realize the volume.

 “I know we’ve always just talked about her as your bitch ex and joked about how crazy she was. We only took her seriously when she came after me…but she’s been awful to you for a long time, right? Emotionally, verbally…physically?”

 Yamazaki’s eyes went almost as dead as Furuhashi’s. He didn’t like what she was implying, that he was some kind of victim. He especially didn’t like hearing that shit from her. She was the one who was abused, in every way a person can be.

  So what if his girlfriend said things that hurt his feelings sometimes?

 Was someone supposed to feel sorry for him because she screamed at him for little things in public, in front of his friends?

  What right did he have to get sympathy for his 5 foot nothing girlfriend slapping him now and again?

 His thoughts were cut off when he simultaneously felt a tear run from one of his eyes and felt (Y/N) wrap her arms around his waist to embrace him.

 “I’m so sorry that we, your friends, didn’t notice. And even when we did…all we did was joke about your crazy ex instead of helping you. We heard her yell and threaten you…abuse you. We would hear all her manipulation and the guys heard more than I ever did. I’m sorry we didn’t stop her from hurting you too.”

 “Don’t apologize to me! I don’t deserve it! Abuse or not, it doesn’t excuse any of the choices I made!”

 “No, it doesn’t. But that doesn’t mean you retroactively deserve any of what she put you through. You apologized to me and I can’t forget what happened, but I forgive you.”

 “I never meant to hurt you! I was just jealous because I barely had a chance to start with and then to think that you had all this experience and I only had Mei. I didn’t know how anyone besides her could ever see anything in me and it seemed like everything was working against me. And I know I don’t act like it but…I love you (Y/N)!”

 A loud throat clearing drew the attention of both teens. The rest of the team had emerged from the lockeroom, all clearly having heard the confession. (Y/N) turned and smiled at the guys widely.

 “Ready to play?”

 “No.” Seto said firmly. “We can’t put it off anymore. I think it goes without saying that everyone in this room is aware of their feelings for you. I don’t think any of us will fight each other over you.”

 “Shit I’ll take any of you right here right now.” Hara scoffed.

 “BUT…I do think we deserve an answer.”

 (Y/N) looked between all the faces of her team before taking in a deep breath.

~~~~~

 A knock at the door had the girl jumping from her skin. Shoving her suitcase under her bed, (Y/N) quickly walked to the entrance of her guest house and opened the door slowly.

 She was expecting her mother or grandfather. Hell, she was even expecting one of the guys.

 Ryo, instead, stood in her doorway trembling slightly. As quickly as she opened the door, the boy gave a deep bow.

 “I’m so sorry! For everything…I have a lot I want to say. That is…if you’ll give me the chance to say it.”

 (Y/N) looked between her ex and her room where the packing still needed to be done. Opening the door widely, she waved him inside.

(Author’s Note: Talking about Yamazaki being abused is NOT supposed to be a plot element I pulled out my ass to get him back in everyone’s good graces. I have always written Mei with the intent that she be read as an abusive girlfriend because she IS.

Take care of your male friends too, never assume they are okay just because they are bigger or louder or stronger. His backstory is NOT his redemption, his actions for this chapter and the last are him working his way there. His backstory just gives us some insight on his character and why he does some of the things he does.)

[cellard0ors]

Prestans “stop interrupting me”

...my response to this was just an excuse to be horny on main...

warnings: threesome (kinda?), oral, sibling incest

“STOP interrupting me!” Ford snarls and Preston takes a step back, startled by Ford’s tone. He holds up both hands, voice going soft, “Okay, okay…I’m-I’m sorry.”

He backs out of Ford’s lab and goes upstairs, finding Stan sitting in their kitchen. Stan takes one look at him and sighs, “Let me guess. Sixer?”

Preston just goes to the fridge and shrugs, pulling out a Pitt and popping the tab, “He’s just…irritable today.”

Stan snorts, “He’s been irritable every day for the past two months.”

Scowling he gets to his feet, rolling his head about his shoulders, “It’s that damned portal he’s working on. It’s a garbage idea, ya ask me. We’ve been living here a couple of months now, yeah? Gravity Falls has weirdness. Why go lookin’ for more?”

“It’s his passion,” Preston argues as he takes a few sips of his Pitt before setting the can aside, “It’s not as if we can take it from him.”

“I think we should.”

“Now Stanley…”

“C’,mon, Pres, you tellin’ me you’re fine with this?” Stan waves in the general direction of Ford’s lab and Preston lets out a hefty sigh because, well, he’s not exactly fine with it. Oh sure, it was fine in the beginning. He had no problem financing Ford’s work and his husband had been so happy. He’d seen no reason to interfere. But as time has gone on, Ford’s become…sullen. Withdrawn. So very, very unlike himself.

This recent heated remark sending Preston off hasn’t been the first and, sometimes, he suspect it won’t be the last. But how can he tell Ford ‘no’? After all that Ford has given him. But looking at Stanley now, the worry beneath the stern bravado, he wonders how he can tell Stanley the same. Neither of them deserves a ‘no’ from Preston.

But then Stan’s suddenly looks…sly and Preston swallows thickly because he knows that look. Knows it even as he asks, “What are you thinking?”

“Come on,” Stan gives him a quick, come-hither curl of one finger before turning in the direction of said lab and Preston follows, even as his heart thumps. Why is his heart thumping? They enter the lab and Ford is still laboring over different computers, different printouts. Dancing from one to the other to another and Stan clears his throat loudly.

“PRESTON! I TOLD you! STOP-!”

“Can it, Poindexter,” Stan growls back and Ford turns to him, blinking and confused. Preston stands there, hands toying with one another because he’s not really up for this level of confrontation. Stan, however, veers closer to Ford, obviously more than ready for it, “Me and your other hubby been talkin’ and we agree – you been working too hard.”

Ford and Preston speak at the same time. One saying ‘you have?’ whilst the other says ‘we have?’ and Stan just nods to both, “Yup. You need ta relax. Or, well, not relax – so much as take a break. So, that in mind…”

Stan charges up to Ford like it’s no contest, stepping behind him and easily locking his arms behind his back. Ford lets out a gasp, startled by Stan’s actions and while his hold isn’t painful, it’s tight enough to keep him in place as he cries, “What are you doing? Why-?”

Stan locks eyes with Preston, “Little help, my prince.”

Preston’s eyebrows draw together in confusion but he steps closer. Ford wriggles some in Stan’s grip, but Stan’s always been the stronger twin and Ford is unable to break the hold. To be fair, Ford isn’t struggling very hard, not wanting to hurt his brother even as he continues to voice his disapproval, asking why this is happening and Preston is wondering the same until Stan purrs, “First off, the tie’s gotta go. Right?”

Suddenly Preston gets the idea. He also gets why his thumping heart has moved on to racing. He gulps and then, with a determined nod, he reaches for the knot of Ford’s tie, loosing it, unraveling it from around his neck. Ford, suddenly also sensing the shift in the room’s tone, immediately drops any pretense of a fight, a hefty breath escaping him, “What are you-? Are you two-?”

“Shirt’s looking pretty restrictive. Don’t’cha think, Preston?”

“Indeed,” Preston murmurs, his voice growing deeper as he starts unbuttoning Ford’s dress shirt and Ford lets out another huff of air, this one shaky, “Preston…”

“Shh, Sixer,” Stan chides in a gruff rumble, “Can’t you see the guy’s working? What was it you said to him earlier?”

“Stop interrupting me,” Preston says, his blue eyes locking with Ford’s brown ones and Ford’s eyes widen, as if he’s just realized how he was a few moments ago, “Oh…Preston, I’m-I’m sor-!”

“Save it, dear,” Preston returns and he takes Ford’s face in his hands, gives him a deep, hot kiss, tongue curling in and out of his mouth perfectly before he hums against his lips, “It’s too late.”

“He’s right,” Stan returns and he edges closer to Ford’s right ear, licks at the back of it and Ford’s head tips back on a wanton noise because, yes, his husbands are very, very right. He needs a break. He needs this. His shirt hangs open, a wide sail pushing back against his white lab coat as Preston tugs it free from the confines of his trousers.

Stan still holds his arms, but it’s clear now that he’s playing something of a sensual bonding agent as he locks eyes with Preston, “What else you think? Gotta get away all the distractions, the hinderances…”

“Hmm, I wonder,” Preston’s tone is warm with sultry mocking, “This belt, perhaps?”

“Oh the belt! It’s awful!”

“I agree,” Preston unhooks Ford’s belt and as he begins easing it through the loops, Ford’s Adam’s apple bobs, eyes rolling into the back of his head because yes, he agrees with them on this as well. He wants to provide his own input, but he just keeps his mouth shut, teeth feasting on his lower lip when Preston’s hands go to the top of his fly, “What about these, Stanley, darling?”

“Those pants? They’re a worse interruption than you are! How can he concentrate with those things on? Not that he should be thinking too hard.”

Preston grins and god, it’s such a gorgeous evil grin, “Oh no, yes – that wouldn’t do at all.”

Ford can barely make out Stan’s face behind him, but he knows for damned sure Stan is mirroring the same, ridiculously attractive expression, “The goal is relaxing him.”

“It is,” Preston undoes the top button, the zipper insanely audible as it goes down, “It really is.”

Ford is a panting, trembling mess. He’s practically eating his own lips to hold back the tide of sounds wanting to escape him. More so as his trousers fall down to his knees. His underwear – a ridiculously bright red color, seem to hold Stan up a moment – arousal giving way to true amusement as he laughs, hot breath ruffling the curls at the base of Ford’s neck, “Where’d you get those panties, Ford?”

“I’ll have you know I purchased them,” Preston returns with some cool.

“Why ain’t I surprised? You got my bro wearin’ some Victor’s Secret kinda shit, huh?”

“Your pair is en route,” is returned to Stan with a wink from Preston and now Stan swallows. A thick gulp. And Ford giggles a little hysterically. Even as his cock twitches beneath the fabric of said red underwear as if to remind him that ‘hey, I’m still here and I’d like attention, please’. Perhaps knowing it, Preston zeroes in, “I should think it best to see you completely unencumbered, dear.”

His long fingers curl beneath the waistband and, as he tugs them down, he slowly lowers himself along with them. They end up puddled alongside his trousers but Preston…Preston rises, mouth enticingly near his erect member. He looks up at Ford, then to Stanley, “What now, darling? Should I? Or would you rather-?”

“Nah,” Stan husks, “I’m in the mood to watch this time, if you don’t mind.”

“I never do,” Preston returns smoothly and, with perfected ease, he takes Ford’s length deep into his mouth. Ford lets out a wail of pure pleasure. Jesus, he was there the first time Preston ever did this. He’d been so shaky then. So unsure of himself. 

Now? Now he’s a goddamn pro. He swallows Ford’s whole length with no trouble, one hand rising to cradle his aching balls, to gently roll them along the backs of his knuckles and Ford is not going to last long.

He arches back against Stanley, can feel his brother’s erection digging into his ass, even as Stan whispers into his ear, “You like that, Sixer? Huh? Like how he’s helping you unwind?”

Ford can only answer with a high pitched whine and he’d be embarrassed by how high if he weren’t completely distracted by the tip of Preston’s tongue teasing the weeping slit of his cock, curling around the pearls of precome that escape and tucking them away. 

Preston looks up at him through his long, dark eyelashes, a coy, heady air about him even as his free hand has risen to tease along Ford’s inner thighs, the back of his knees and fuck, he knows all the spots that can take Ford apart.

Knows them just as Stan does and Stan’s hold has loosened some as he’s begun kissing the back of Ford’s neck, licking at his hairline, teeth nipping the top knob of his spine and Ford sobs their names, one after the other because he feels his whole body pulsate, his orgasm a hairsbreadth away from crashing down on him.

“Nothing interrupting you now, Stanford. You wanna cum, you just…”

Stan doesn’t get to say anymore. The words, the heat in them, along with the feel of Preston’s pulling mouth, finish Ford off completely. With a full body shudder, Ford comes apart. He spills his seed and Preston drinks it all down, not even noticing that Ford’s arms have broken completely free from Stan’s hold to allow his hands to come forward, all twelve fingers tangling in his hair and tugging hard, nails digging at his skull as he erupts.

Coming down, breathing heavily, Ford groans, “Christ…I-I needed that.”

Stan just lets out a sound in agreement and Preston eases back, rubbing at his aching jaw even as he smiles, voice croaky, “Glad to oblige.”

“I…I am sorry, Preston,” Ford manages, still panting, still swimming in afterglow, “Sorry I yelled at you…”

“Hrm, yes, well – I suppose it worked out some. Although you do still owe me,” he gestures to his own unsatisfied erection and then tips his head towards Stan, “Not to mention, Stanley…”

“Yeah, Sixer. Hate ta break it to you, but we ain’t done,” Stan returns cheekily, nudging Ford’s behind with his own desire, “Not by a long shot. So, uh, how’s about you stop interrupting us, huh?”

Ford looks between the two of them and lets out a shaky laugh because yes – the last thing he wants is to interrupt any of this.

[1stunseeliefaelass]

Strife's Younger Years Part 2

Strife was determined to understand more of what happened that day. He'd find out somehow, and he couldn't really sleep now anyway. Picking up a nearby crystal, he used a smidge of magic to call his elder brother. The crystal began to quietly pulse with light and a quiet rhythm of sound. He didn't expect much, beyond Death being slightly pissed off at how late it was for both of them. Strife lived in a hunter style shack in the Fae Realm, whilst Death still lived in his humble abode within that dead world. Both places always seemed to be close when it came to time zones and stuff. Didn't make Death's home any less depressing. Strife mused on Death's choice of home for a time before hearing his crystal emit a louder beep of sorts, a sign Death had finally answered.

Death had finally, truly fallen asleep. Sleeping was never easy for him, due to nightmares and the occasional night terrors. So naturally him being woken up now was annoying to say the least. He growled as he tried to ignore it for a moment, but the pulsing light and sounds from his crystal persisted. Finally he sat up slowly and reached clumsily for the crystal. Now that he was paying attention, the way the sounds...well...sounded and the frequency they emitted from the crystal, indicated who was contacting him. Sighing he answered at last,

"Strife....it's late."

"I know dude I know. But I really need to talk to you man." Strife told him earnestly. He heard a sigh before Death spoke again,

"Is it an emergency? Or important...to some extent?"

"First off....maybe? Secondly it's kind of important." Strife said a bit unsure himself.

"Can it wait til morning perhaps....I just got to sleep." Death inquired.

"I know sleeping is hard as fuck for you. But I really need to get this out. Can we please just talk bro? Please?" Strife asked desperately, and immediately regretting sounding like that. He furrowed his brow in annoyance at yet another sigh from Death, this time deeper.

"Alright....do you want to talk over crystal? Or shall we speak in person?" Death asked him at last after a pause.

"I'd prefer to talk in person, if ya don't mind." Strife stated simply, hiding a bit concern in his tone.

Death picked up on it regardless and felt a twinge of guilt for being annoyed. Or at least showing that he was annoyed. Regardless he told Strife to come by his home and began to prepare for what he figured might be a lengthy discussion. He tried as quietly as he could to prepare two cups of tea. Mostly for himself to stay awake through the chat, but he figured Strife might appreciate the gesture at least. He heard a little puppy like yawn from nearby and looked down to see a small pet bed with Fuzzball stretching in it before looking up at Death a bit annoyed himself. Then he heard Dust's wings flapping, and could swear the bird looked grumpy.

"Sorry you two. It's going to be a late one. But I won't force you to pay attention. Feel free to go back to bed." Death told them simply.

Dust preened a little bit before placing his head back under his wing again. Fuzzball in the meantime went in a few circles in his bed, stamped his little paws on it, then laid back down to sleep. Death finished the tea before too long and just as he'd set up the table, he heard a knock. As expected, Strife was at the door. He came in quickly and rubbed his neck,

"Hey big bro....hehe..."

"Hi. So then, let's talk shall we?" Death stated before leading him to the table.

Strife noticed the tea and decided he may as well at least try one cup. He wasn't that fond of tea usually, but since Death was being 'nice' enough to host him, he may was be polite and try it. It was refreshing at least, with a faint hint of a caffeine taste in there. He didn't comment on it though, instead telling Death,

"So about why I'm here..."

"Yes we've established that, but go on." Death said sarcastically.

Strife glared at him briefly before saying, "I'm just worried you'll brush me off again. Like you do everytime I ask about this."

"What are you talking about?"

"Bitch don't play dumb with me. You know what I'm talking about." Strife insisted.

Death simply shrugged, leading to Strife saying with an annoyed tone, "The dreams about me being a little kid, like itty bitty? Where I see you and Absalom beating the shit out of each other?"

Death stopped midsip and placed his cup down, "Ah yes....that again."

"I want answers Death, legit answers. I don't want you to brush me off again, or to give some bullshit answer that doesn't make sense." Strife insisted.

"What do you want me to say? Beyond that it was a memory?" Death asked him.

"Dumbass I just told you. Quit playin' and just tell me what the hell went down that day! I want to know that much, and I wanna know why it happened too!" Strife demanded, even slamming his fist on the table.

Death remained collected however, and thought for a moment. Then finally asked Strife cautiously, "Why do you want to know? And are you SURE you want to know?"

"I'm pretty fucking sure at this point Death. And I wanna know because I want to be able to understand it. Maybe then I'll stop dreaming about this shit. You stopped having dreams about when Ale witnessed your creation after you met up with her again. You didn't settle for the bullshit answers Absalom gave you, you sought them yourself and kept pushing for the truth. And you GOT IT. So why SHOULD I SETTLE then huh? Why should I not keep trying to get you to finally tell me the truth damn it?" Strife stated in earnest.

Death thought for longer this time. Realizing that, yes, he had been doing what Absalom did to him originally. Only he'd done it to Strife for a lot longer than Absalom did it towards him. After a long moment of silent contemplation, he sighed softly and finally looked up at Strife. Noting his younger brother's rising anger, he softened his tone as he answered him,

"You're right. I should've known you'd not settle, because I influenced you to not do so. You deserve to know the truth, just as much as I once did. So to start with..."

Strife waited patiently as Death unraveled part of the bindings on his arms. He normally would've taken them off before bed, but simply forgot to this time. Death then spoke a few silent syllables before a ball of light appeared between them both. Strife leaned forward, and found himself shocked at seeing the faint scars along his wrists. Mouthing a what the fuck as he sat back again in shock. Death nodded and began wrapping his arm back up again,

"These are the result of Absalom's constant pressures on me. Absalom had no heirs to speak of, so that meant I was to step up. I'm sure you remember that much clearly."

Strife nodded, "Yeah. And now that I think about it, you and Absalom had similar fights to the one in my memory. You got physical with each other a lot when you trying to get him to tell you the truth about Ale. And later on as we started to slowly become tired of everything, the fist fights started again."

"Yes. But bare in mind, these fights were VERY one sided back then. I never put my all into them, which led to me losing more often than not. I also made a habit of trying not to fight in front of you three when I had a mind to remember that. And the fights weren't all that went down. I never spoke of this, as I didn't want to worry either of you. And I don't need you to worry now, I broke that habit a long time ago. Thanks to Ale's help mostly, bless her soul."

"Ok so what didn't we see?" Strife asked concerned.

"Absalom often pushed me to beyond my limits when grooming me for leadership of our race, should he ever die. The pressure was often high to the point of anxiety. I learned to hide it when in front of others, because Absalom made damn sure of it. It started with him being the one to inflict the cuts. Overtime, he'd force me to do it while practically brainwashing me into believing it was....'for my own good'. I knew this habit was a bad one deep down, that it wasn't helping me. That it only made everything worse. But before long, I didn't know what else to do."

Strife, noting his brother's shameful tone, asked gently, "Is that why you went to Ale?"

Death only nodded at the question.

"But..what does this have to do with my memories again? Just wondering?" Strife inquired a bit confused.

"Because the first time Absalom and I ever got physical, was that day. I came across him abusing you in an attempt to..'toughen you up' as he put it. I couldn't let it continue, not on my watch. But after forcing him out of the tent, I saw he wasn't finished. To prevent you from being involved, I told you to wait in the tent. I never realized you'd left the tent at all. That you were watching at Absalom wiped the dirt with me in that ring. I was just about unable to keep it up much longer, my body was on fire and close to giving out on me. That's when you rushed between us and demanded Absalom stop, in the only way you knew how. Being a toddler and all." Death stated quietly.

"Yeah I remember that much. But what happened after that? I just remember suddenly waking up in your tent again."

"Absalom took your little gesture as a challenge, laughing before backhanding you. It was enough to knock you clean out. I scooped you up briefly, and in a mix of panic and rage, I went for Absalom again. That was the only physical altercation I ever won against him. I was exhausted afterwards, but still made an effort to carry you back to my tent for your safety. I didn't let myself rest and forced myself not to pass out, wanting to make sure you were ok before I finally let go."

"I do remember that seemingly after that point, you made sure Absalom never touched me again. Not that he didn't try." Strife said a bit amazed.

"Yeah. I also did my best to make sure he backed off with abusing you in other ways. Be it through overdoing it with training, purposely trying to get you killed through bullshit 'missions', etc." Death said simply, rubbing his temple slightly.

"Maybe we can continue this later on or something? You're tired as fuck, and I don't wanna keep you up much longer." Strife said getting up to leave.

Death simply chuckled, "Right. Well goodnight and see you later Strife."

"Night bro, see ya around." Strife said leaving the house.

Death remained at the table for time, staring into the half empty cup of tea in front of him. He then suddenly jolted in realization before rushing to the door. He called to Strife upon opening it, and Strife turned around from where he was. He was only a few feet away from Mayhem.

"What was spoken about in this house, stays in here! Got it?! The others don't need to know what I've told you tonight!" Death shouted to him.

"Don't worry bro, you know I'll keep your secrets any day! I still have mine after all!" Strife shouted back contently.

Death accepted the answer before going back inside, locking the door behind him. He then laid back down in his bed at last, taking a while to pass out again as he thought of their discussion. Even looking down at his binded arms again. He said one final thing to himself,

"Why did I EVER idolize you, I'll never understand it Absalom. Nor will I understand why I keep grieving for you."

With that he finally fell back into a deep sleep. Strife did much the same, he couldn't help but wonder however,

"Just how much pain do you live with everyday? Seriously Death."

[queenofcats17]

Unraveled by Timothy Lawrence

I’ve never written anything in the Borderlands fandom, but I saw this post by @0pixer and I guess I’m writing it

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Timothy Lawrence’s life has significantly improved now that Jack is dead and he’s managed to get a job that doesn’t involve killing people. He’s very done with killing people. Rhys has given him a job at ATLAS doing...Well, his official job has something to do with media relations or something. Mostly he makes weird videos where he goes weirdly in-depth about various subjects. Usually books. Sometimes movies. Once he deconstructed a Bunkers and Badasses campaign with the help of Rhys and Vaughn. He’s gained quite a following.

Today, his video opens as it often does, with Tim standing in front of a black background which he may or may not pin pieces of paper to in some strange string board. He’s grown his hair out a bit since joining Atlas, and his ginger hair has started to come back along with his freckles. Today he’s wearing a sweater with a cartoon cat on it.

“As you all probably know, I have an English degree. Before I started working for Jack, I went to school for English. I was going to be a writer.” Tim’s expression is some mix of irritated and existential wondering who his life had ended up this way.

“Anyway,” he clears his throat and continues. “I have an English degree. And today I’m going to use it. To take apart this awful romance novel!” He holds up a book with a giant grin. It looks like something you’d pick up at the drug store and has a stylized illustration of Handsome Jack and a swooning damsel on the front.

“I’m going to tear this apart.” The glee is readily apparent on Tim’s face. He looks absolutely ecstatic to destroy this book, both figuratively and literally. Because he will be burning this once the segment is over. “Despite being told that this is a bad idea and it’s just a book, I’m going to do this anyway!” 

“As if we could stop you.” Sasha’s voice comes from off-screen. Tim disregards this, his smile widening. 

“Vaughn and Fiona found this while scavenging the charred remains of Helios for supplies.” Tim opens the book, flipping through a few pages. “They were just going to burn it for fuel, but then Fiona read a few pages and it was so bad she brought it back so we could all laugh at it.” He starts giggling in anticipation. 

“I kind of remember Jack having these things produced, but, well,” he pauses and lets out an undignified snort. “He had a lot of shitty propaganda produced. I’m pretty sure Rhys owned all of it.”

“I did not!” Rhys’ indignant voice comes from behind the camera.

“Bro, half the stuff in our apartment was Handsome Jack merch.” Vaughn’s voice comes from behind the camera as well. There’s a huff, presumably from Rhys. 

“Alright, fine, but I didn’t have that.”

“Well, as an expert on all things Handsome Jack, you wanna tell us how the Jack in this masterpiece measures up to the real thing?” Tim asks with an innocent smile. 

“Why would I know?” Rhys asks. “You were the one who worked with him!”

“But you were the one who had him in your head,” Vaughn says. “Oh, I never really asked, but did he see your dick? I always kind of wondered if he did and he made any comments or-” There’s a muffled screaming sound from off-screen, presumably Rhys yelling into a pillow.  

“Anyway, let’s move on~,” Tim says in a sing-song voice. “So. First off, what is the plot of this book?” His expression grows comically grim. “That’s very important to talk about if we’re going to tear this thing apart.” 

There are various stifled giggles and snorts as the others in the room try to keep themselves together. 

“The book follows Felicia, an accountant from Atlas who gets sent to Pandora by her,” he pauses and flips to a page. “‘Horrible heartless bastards of bosses’.” 

“Definitely not biased.” Fiona snorts derisively.

“Why would you even suggest that?” Sasha gasps, although it’s clear she’s trying to fight back laughter. 

“Felicia has been sent to Pandora to deliver an important document, but she’s a delicate flower who isn’t suited to Pandora’s harsh climate and inhabitants. She can’t survive in this awful awful world.” Tim continues to summarize the book as if it isn’t propaganda disguised as a trashy romance novel. “Almost as soon as she touches down on the planet, bandits kidnap her, sure that her employers will pay handsomely to have her back. But they abandon her to the locals! Felicia is lost in despair until...” He looks dramatically up at the camera. “She’s rescued by none other than Handsome Jack!”

There’s a dramatic gong crash, followed by a panicked yelp. 

“Warn me before you do that!” Rhys’ muffled voice hisses. 

“Sorry,” Vaughn whispers back.

“Both Jack and Felicia are wary of each other, they are from rival companies after all, but Jack cannot let a defenseless woman suffer in the company of bandits.” Tim bites back a condescending laugh as his showman act starts to break. “So he kills all the bandits, which might be the only thing in this book that actually seems plausible. Anyway, after he kills all the bandits he takes Felicia back to Helios. There’s a lot of that whole enemies to lovers trope, along with Atlas trying to convince Felicia to secretly spy on Jack, but in the end, they fall in love and have a lot of sex. Very very in-depth sex. More in-depth than I am comfortable reading.”

“Is the sex accurate?” Sasha asks. Almost immediately, Tim goes bright red. 

“Fuck! I don’t...I don’t know!” He stammers. “It’s not like I watched him have sex!”

“So he didn’t make you have sex for him or anything?” Fiona asks. “I thought he’d have at least one person he made you take his place for. He seems like the kind of asshole who’d do that.”

“He didn’t want me ruining his reputation,” Tim mumbles, still partially hiding behind the book. “He thought I’d get nervous and freeze up. Which, uh, I...I did do a few times.” He quickly shakes his head, taking a deep breath. “But that’s beside the point. The point is, this is an awful book! Not only is the grammar awful, but the story structure doesn’t even make that much sense.”

He puts the book down, dragging in a box with a bunch of pieces of paper inside.

“I’ve written down my complaints,” he starts tacking up pieces of paper on the board with thumbtacks. “Firstly, how did Atlas manage to contact Felicia again after she gets onto Helios? They say in the book that all her Atlas tech is destroyed and go into great pains to describe how the bandits discarded her personal belongings and ripped off her clothes. There’s no way they’d even know she was alive, especially with how many precautions Jack takes to keep people from knowing she’s there. And they don’t even give any explanation for how Atlas figures out she’s on Helios! Second, why on Earth would Jack bring a woman he didn’t even know onto Helios? Sure, he thinks with his dick most of the time, but he didn’t get to be CEO of Hyperion by accident. Do you have any idea how paranoid he was? I couldn’t even take a piss in peace the whole time I worked for him...”

The next few minutes are filled up with Tim picking apart every inaccuracy and issue with the book, with a healthy dose of him complaining about what a dick Jack had been to work for. No one stops him A good portion of his rant is also taken up by him talking at length about how this was not how sex worked. 

“Has this person ever had sex? Because this is not how it works. I can count on one hand the number of sexual encounters I’ve had, but none of it was ever like this. I mean, for fuck’s sake! I don’t think this person has ever even seen a vagina, much less tried to bring the owner pleasure!” 

The more notes he tacks up on the board, the more disheveled he gets. His sweater is quickly discarded, his hair comes out of its ponytail, and his shirt becomes untucked. Sasha and Fiona can be heard laughing uproariously at various points throughout the video.

“Also! The creatures!” Tim jabs a finger into another note. “This author has obviously never spent any time on Pandora because neither varkids nor skags act anything like this!” He turns briefly away from the board, gesturing to someone offscreen. “Joining me to talk about these inaccuracies is Sir Alistair Hammerlock, whose sister I am both very attracted to and incredibly afraid of!”

“I would very much prefer not to speak of my sister.” Sir Hammerlock walks in, looking a tad uncomfortable. “Saying her name tends to summon her. Like some sort of witch.”

“Then let’s talk about skags and varkids and how they’ll kill you!” Tim says brightly, with an almost unhinged smile. 

“Well, that is something I’m more comfortable with.”

Sir Hammerlock launches into a speech about the finer points of skag and varkid biology and behavior. Not all of it is relevant to Tim’s critiques. Most of it is not relevant to Tim’s critiques. But it gives Tim some time to collect himself and look less like an insane professor. And Sir Hammerlock seems so delighted to be talking about the fauna of Pandora.

“In conclusion,” Tim says when Sir Hammerlock has finished. “Please don’t try any of what you read in this book. You will die. Painfully. Probably screaming.”

“Yes. Quite.” Sir Hammerlock nods, glancing at the notes Tim has tacked up and Tim’s still rather disheveled appearance. “I’ll be seeing myself out.”

“We’ll be sending your payment in the mail!” Vaughn calls after him. Tim turns his gaze back to the camera, gleeful and giddy once more.

“This book is so bad.” He giggles. “I hate it so much. Which is what makes this next part even better.”

“Should I get out the trashcan?” Sasha asks. 

“Yes. It is time.” Tim’s smile grows. Sasha appears with a large metal trash bin, which she deposits in front of Tim. Tim drops the book into the trash bin and Fiona appears to squirt some sort of liquid inside. It’s quickly clear that this liquid was lighter fluid, as when Tim strikes a match and drops it into the trashcan a pillar of flame shoots up. 

“The evil has been cleansed!” Tim cackles, sounding eerily like Jack. He’s illuminated eerily by the raging flames and actually looks a bit menacing. The camera cuts off after this, presumably so that they can put out the fire. 

[italianfish]

Here’s some things that I’ve overheard recently

- That bridge was created by erosion

- Holy tolino that’s a nice tree!

- Ivy! There’s the guy we don’t like (Trump in a car)

- Why wouldn’t you want to be king? You could get corgis, they’re adorable

- That’s not an allergy, that’s a life choice

- Are you that one guy? Are you DongleMc DongleSon?

- Woooo! CHEMEX!

- THE FURIES ARE COMING

- I NEED A BOYFRIEND AND A SWEATSHIRT

- I wonder what animal that is? Oh wait, it’s a log

- Just a cone, no ice cream. I don’t like ice cream

- My chicken BLT came without the chicken!

- I should have kept the headband from the tampons

- You’ve been reduced to a codename

- Hug, Marry, Exile, the Brucified sleepover game

- It’s just the toes

- Parf Tarts

- It’s crispy?!?!

- When I’m like, 60, I’m going to do drugs

- What really is life without watching Bob Ross?

- 13 YEARS!!!

- Stacy’s mom is Parker’s grandma~

- EmBruce it

- It’s not a water break, it’s a hydration break

- That bird is using a crosswalk!

- I don’t know any colleges in Massachusetts!

- What even is frick without frack

- I’m emotionally offended by your haircut

- That’s like a cat fart

- Someone just shat

- I’M NOT A CHILD PREDATOR DEANNA!!!

- I’ll sue that movie, they stole my idea (Just finished watching Hotel Transylvania 3)

- See, Amanda. That’s your noise

- My mom told me that if you sleep with your phone under your pillow you get fat

- If he were gay he’d be adorable

- He’s racist to chairs

- Flarion is my boob

- Don’t throw the ball at the referee, it’ll hurt his feelings

- Fuck yeah, your name’s Keith

- Can you deep throat a firecracker?

- Your earlobe is soft

- I would sell my toes for my old hair

- It’s like eating a period, NO

- What a funny looking animal (Giraffe)

- Giraffes are the most ridiculous animals

- Ew, keep your ebola away from me

- Look at that glass shard, that must be uncomfortable

- Do sloths have ears?

- Lip jellies freak me out

- A: I have three boobs (Sloth in shirt) B: I have uh.... Arthritis

- Instagram knows I’m lonely

- Knock on any Nonna’s door and tell them you’re Jewish and they’ll pity you and throw you a feast

- But this time it’s just the nose

- I want Granny panties

- Why do we only have confidence when our shirts are off?

- Why is an 8 year old twerking on my leg

- She has curves, you have rectangles

- I’m depressed, give me your water

- Dude! I look like a freaking lion!

- My loofa unraveled...

- I’m eating ramen with a singular coffee straw

- These walls better be soundproof (Amanda loudly singing in the background)

- I’m ready for my 4am Taco Bell runs

- Wifi in Spanish is wee-fee

- I didn’t see the body

- We should crochet together

- Yeah! I was a baby model.

- I don’t know if he likes me or if he’s just the gay best friend

- Have you pooped this week? You need to poop

- You’ve got all your limbs and you’re ready to go

- I need affection

- Diego’s eating rocks again~

- Wait. You’re instagramming my dog?

- I love letting people know what I’m up to

- It’s so funny, it’s like the ying and the yang

- You’re in my world now Grandma

- Two nipples? I don’t need nipples

- You are one gassy fellow

- You’ve got a lot of nerve showing up on our side of the bus

- I can never tell if you’re just depressed or listening to music

- I’ve got a photo shoot coming up for a calendar, for hot teachers with 6-packs. I’m October

- 38 on rotten potatoes!

- I’m hungry, I’m delirious

- DON’T PINCH MY CHUB

- I love clapping thighs in the evening

- Dude, I’m so ready to mingle

- Do you have a magician book

- Let’s taste those minerals

- The sauce is forever

- Why is everything so straight

- The right nipples don’t deserve rights

- We used to have a zebra and he was vicious

- Very important, I forgot shoes

- You look like a lumber snack

- A: I’m the only one here who looks like a hobo B: Really? Say that again A: We can be hobos together

- Woah dude! Can we take a picture of you? *Truck next to the bus*

- What were you guys doing? Bathing yourselves in the toilet?

- I want to be those people in Wii sports (The background characters that make the noises)

- Then we can have a dance party in a prison cell!

- Most of the bible sounds like gay fanfics

- It’s Frozen all over again!

- I have my metal bus on the straw

- My mom told my Dad to not be a weenie

- I’m going to build my house doors really short so you can’t come in

- Do you want to be black with me?

- Are you the black man?

- How did chutes and ladders go sexual?

- What if there was a rotisserie chicken hanging from the ceiling

- No one said Californians are smart, they’re just hippies who smoke weed

- Stop losing me in airport bathrooms

- What’s with those muscular kneecaps

- Queers doesn’t shake hands

- I’m drowning! I’m not even in the water

- Is this baptism?

- Breakfast doesn’t deserve grace

- It’s not just airport bathrooms

- Ice Age, watch it, absorb it

- I call first waz

- If you’re saying waz you’re not fancy

- I have so many bodily fluids to get rid of

- Don’t eat the lotion samples

- Why are our shoes not curved

- I’m just a fat guy so everything is delicious

- My name is Gay Fieri

- *Monotone iCarly theme song*

- I love Chipoodle

- The others are just Bat-ships

- You ever tie a banana to a tree?

- Can we have a fashion show?

- I’m gonna waz myself

- That’s the Death Star again

- Why do you have glitter on you?

- I smoke the mara-ja-wanna

- I have a gelato emergency

- This is our entertainment for the day (Watching a (probably) crazy man dance)

- I have a lot of questions about pottery

- Ever since I was a small child I have found myself goo-goo-ga-ga

- There are too many cans

- We need to stop canning beans

- Forks are way better than spoons

- I hate spoons

- Do you not want two hours of smooth jazz

- A man just stole my nut

- That’s a really bad name for a gay bar

- Is your tongue comfortable in your mouth

- I’m a penguin enthusiast

- He kept force feeding me marshmallows

- Why would you judge a girl by her neck?

- Are there shampoo bars?

- Why would you want a shampoo bar?

- Don’t burn down the house

- Halloween is my day

- You want to be hydrated?

- Are you kidding me? Right in front of my salad?

- We can still cartwheel into a fiery ball

- It’s your last day of camp, why are you trying to land a plane

- There’s a scale from dude to bro to sir

- Gotta vacuum the bird

- I’m teaching my rabbit spanish

- Ok, who got the cheese on a bun???

- I feel like a wet lasagna

- You can get a star for Jazz???

- I have 3 bottles of hand sanitizer

- A- We make children cry! B- NO WE DON’T

- A- Can I have chicken on a plate? B- Chicken on a plate? A- Chicken on a plate

- I want to go to band to get sweaty

- Proactive, it helps your face

- The cult meeting is next week from 2-7

- This is so vegany

- I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE SONG! NOT THE BEATLES!

- I have shrimp for later

- It burns my eyes, I love it

- It’s not that we hate you, it’s just that sometimes we can’t stand you

- Locked and loaded for a photoshoot first period

- This chalk keeps following me

- Kinda like a Starbucks atmosphere

- How dare she learn how to drive

- You have to sing our anthem with us

- It fits right into the squiggle

- I’m immune to hot sauce (Downs little cup of hot sauce)

- How was fake meatloaf?

- Can you train a fish?

- I haven’t worn pants in a year

- It smells like yogurt

- I have ties for every holiday

- There’s no laws on the moon, so like, you could kill someone???

- Optional means I don’t do it

- I’m gonna cook your dog!!!

- Is that where we almost went to park jail?

- We don’t condone sporting

- I want to turn orange

- Let’s make a buzfeed quiz that tells you what bridge you are

- (In Spanish) Where is the milk?

- If silence is gold, duct tape is silver

- A: So, what are you guys doing? B: Drugs.

- Young successful jewish boy

- A: I’m fun size! *Friend laughter* B: I’m just short...

- A: Where’s my medal??? B: Up your ass

- I’m a leech

- If anyone’s getting salmonella, it’s going to be me

- Does it involve backflips?

- I get to see all the little children getting confused as you disappear into a chair

- I think someone stole my balls by now

- A- A plastic knife can cut another plastic knife B- Why did you cut a plastic knife? A- Dedication!

- A- Oh my god! B- What does this have to do with god? C- *Whispering* Everything

- You’re probably going to die of liver

- I’m a five year old! You can’t have that profanity in here!

- Hey kids get in the van, we’ve got free wifi

- That’s worse than 10 babies hanging from a tree

- Are you from the piggers of creation???

- A- You’re like an old married couple B- (From the distance) He started it!

- I am a Jesus Christ in a person!

- YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY CHROMOSOMES THAT COST ME!!!

- I will implant a chip in your ankle! And you won’t know which one!

- I’M AN AVATAR! AIR! (Nothing happens) AIR! (Still nothing)

- When I was on a plane, we started dropping 200 feet at a time, the funny thing was that half of the plane had just gotten their drinks so half the plane was soaked

- Is Christianity a cult?

- A- Do you have experiences with holes B- (Very Unsure) Yes

- I’m her bitch, not your bitch

- He has the IQ of half a ferret

- A- Did you read the game manual? B- The gay manual??

- I want the pleasure of whipping you

- One time I poured a glass of apple cider vinegar and I drank it

- I changed my name to Johnyay West

- Too much damage done to the duner

- On a scale to 1 to Bill Cosby

- Ariana Grande is a criminal

- A- It’s sticky B- Can I take that out of context? A- No

- YOU ZIP TIED HIM TO A CHAIR?!

- It’s half past a freckle

- I need the crotch

- I don’t have imaginary friends. I don’t have friends.

- It’s like a mini fridge for pillows

- You hurt yourself with a stationary elbow

- My parents met at Burger King

- A- What’s the capital of Ohio B- Arkansas...?

- A- What do you do after school? B- Eat C- Sleep D- Cry

- Ask for cocaine, not Coca-Cola

- HOW HAVE YOU NOT TOLD US YOU MAKE STAINED GLASS?!

- You stole my meme bro

- A- Where you the one who drank chocolate sauce? B- (Seemingly proud) Yes.

- OW! MY CALVES!

- The Kardashians are necessary in our society!!!

- I feel like a homeless prostitute

- Ya wanna share a fork

- Now you have a pile of hot cheese