#just. god what were they thinking? they're fucking KIDS. they're stupid. they just believe what alan tells them

[i3utterflyeffect]

For the Virabot variant earlier, when the Vira-friend secret eventually does come out, who would you say reacts the worst to it on the PC?

hm....... are alan and SC cop-out answers?

i feel like c!alan is pretty freaked out by virabots because of not only his computer, but also because they're very much capable of killing the CG. he's more freaked out about the idea of them dying after the showdown, and gets more protective of them as a result

and not only that, SC would probably have a bad panic attack upon seeing the virabots, because even if they don't fully remember, there's just a deeply embedded fear after what happened, especially since they watched their friends pretty much die from Dark's blades, which are essentially the same as a virabot blade. it makes c!alan freak out a bit worse if he sees them panic.

as for the others in the CG, i think green is actually the most upset, but the majority of them are pretty mad. they did watch red die, so they're really upset that they'd try and befriend something that was basically the same as what killed them. they love red, but they can't stop thinking about what would have happened if Red wasn't so lucky...

[nereidprinc3ss]

okay i know this is kind of a specific request but can you do something with professor Spence and uni reader where they get into a spat and argue bc she did something stupid and he gets mad and she’s like “noooo pls don’t be mad i hate when you’re mad at me I’m sorry🥺” bc she literally cannot function knowing she let him down (me with everybody) but he’s like super stubborn and goes all closed up and quiet so that he doesn’t like blow up on her until she finally says like “pls talk to me” and he’s all pissed and like “hell na bitch u crazy!🗣️‼️” but then later he’s like “it’s ok i love u but neva do that shit again ho” then they make up and it’s good again 🎀 ok i explained that so poorly (and comedically if i may) but i hope u get it and pls make it SO DRAMATIC bc I live for drama! like she steals test answers or something or does something that could like get her kicked out of school OR him lose his job 🤔 sigh … idk I’m leaving now. Also i LOOPOOOCE ORRKGOOVI love your fics. Luv em

hey girl (gender neutral) this made me laugh bc genuinely sometimes i write spencer so ooc that is what he sounds like. and i'm not sorry! anyway this is potentially a vyvanse fueled nightmare but i wrote it and i'm posting it MY BLOG MY RULES BITCHESSSS!!!! but genuinely read the content warning LMAO this one got a lil kick to it

warnings/tags: ANGST, HURT/COMFORT, fem!reader, spencer and r get into a for real argument like they're mean to each other, spencer is a lil toxic but its resolved, emotionally neglects reader just for a teeensy second but then he's really nice and sweet again, discussion of his past addic+ion, gets fluffy because i'm not EVIL, gets suggestive at the end bc i am secretly evil.......

a/n: i don't know whats happening. this confuses me just as much as it confuses you. its 3 am in the morning. im gonna post nice happy things soon. Gootbye

“I cannot believe you right now. I don’t even—I don’t even know what to say.” 

“Spencer, you don’t have to say anything. It has nothing to do with you, and I’m not looking for your approval.” 

He looks up from where he’d been rubbing his temples, like you’re a headache, eyebrows raised and lips parted in indignant disbelief. 

“Oh! You’re not looking for my approval? Well thank god for that, because if you were one of my students I would recommend expulsion to the board.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me? I just said I don’t care about your opinion on this, much less your hypothetical opinion from some alternate universe where you have any authority over my education whatsoever.” 

“You distributed an answer key to half of your class! Objectively this is the kind of thing that gets people expelled. I don’t understand how someone so smart could do something so fucking stupid.” 

The words bite more than you were prepared for—but what hurts even more is how much he seems to mean them. In arguments past you’d both said things you didn’t mean, and then would immediately melt into I’m so sorry’s and the fight would resolve itself. Spencer’s clenched jaw and inability to make eye contact with you do not lend themselves to tender apologies. They cannot be attributed to miscommunication. 

You take a step closer to where he’s bracing himself against the countertop, arms crossed defensively in front of your chest. 

“Spencer, I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was such a big deal. People cheat in college all the time.” 

Still no reply. His head shakes so minutely you wonder if you’re imagining it. Panic wells in your chest. 

“Please talk to me. I really hate when you ice me out. I’m sorry, okay? Just... please say something.” 

Finally, his eyes slide to you. They lack the fiery anger of moments ago but there’s not much softness there either. His normally warm gaze now feels too abrasive, too cold and sharp on your bare skin. You're exposed, much too soft for that grating look, and it feels like he can see everything that’s wrong with you. 

“Believe me when I tell you this. I am doing us both a favor by not speaking to you right now.” 

And then he’s leaving the kitchen—nothing but a breeze against your cheek and the sound of a door slamming to prove he was ever there. 

The apartment is silent. You stand in the middle of the kitchen, unsure of what to do next. Spencer very, very rarely gets angry at you to the point of neglect, and you know he’s doing his best with what was modelled for him as a child and his tendency to feel things so deeply it’s nearly disabling; but that doesn’t make it hurt much less. It doesn’t make you feel less abandoned or alone.  

You’re sad, and you’re still pissed, and maybe you’re in just a bit of shock as you robotically move back to your nest of blankets on the couch and resume your schoolwork. What else is there to do? Unless Spencer is right—unless you really are about to get expelled after getting the answer key for an upcoming test from a friend, who then gave it to another friend, and so on. But is that really your fault?  

It’s a struggle to stay focused as your mind keeps drifting back to Spencer in the other room, those cruel words and that cold steely look in his eye that isn’t supposed to ever be aimed at you. It’s not a secret that side of him exists, but it doesn’t belong in this apartment. It’s not something he needs to use against you. He’s supposed to be on your side. But instead, he’d said you should be expelled and essentially called you stupid. And now you’re doing homework for a class at a school you may not even be a student of come Monday. 

---------------------------------------------------

The sound of the office door opening forty-five minutes later spikes your blood pressure and simultaneously makes your heart flutter, because no matter how mad at him you might be, Spencer is still Spencer.  

He comes to stand behind the couch quietly, but you don’t acknowledge him. Maybe your typing gets a bit more aggressive, but aside from that you flat out reject his presence. 

“Can we talk?” 

You let him sweat for a minute as you finish your paragraph. 

“I don’t know, Spencer. Can we? Or are you not done with your temper tantrum?” 

“That is... well deserved,” he sighs, rounding the couch and tapping the bottom of your foot, signaling that he wants you to move your legs. You despise how automatically you comply, pulling your knees to your chest to avoid touching him as he sits next to you. There’s a long moment of silence, in which you resume typing. Spencer scoffs, leaning in slightly to peer at your screen. “Are you doing homework right now? I’m a complete asshole to you and you just... do your homework?"

“What the fuck else was I supposed to do?” you almost-yell, slamming your laptop shut and blinking away potential tears. “The only person I wanted to talk to called me stupid and fucking left!” 

The tears realize their potential once you admit the blunt truth. 

Spencer carefully moves your laptop and pulls you into his arms—and you just let him. There’s not much fight left in you. There wasn’t a lot to begin with. 

“I am so sorry, angel. You’re right, I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have yelled, I shouldn’t have said what I said, I shouldn’t have walked away. I overreacted.” 

“Yeah, you really did,” you cry, allowing him to run his hand over your hair. “Why did you do that? Why were you so fucking mean?” 

His voice shakes slightly as he responds, betraying his own anxieties, and a new, unwelcome sense of trepidation slithers through your veins. 

“I was wondering that, too. Even as I was saying it, I knew—I knew it wasn’t what I wanted to be saying. And then I was in the other room and I wanted to be out here, and I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t. But I think I was just scared. Which—I know, doesn’t really make sense, but... I think about when Ethan dropped out of the academy, and ended up doing heroin in New Orleans for three years, and I think about when I almost left the BAU because I was so convinced I’d never get clean that I didn’t even want to anymore, and—and the idea of you losing your education and your direction like that terrified me, probably unreasonably, and I took it out on you. And I’m sorry.” 

“But I’m not like you or Ethan. You don’t have to worry about that. Even if I... even I do get in some sort of disciplinary trouble. That’s a road you don’t have to worry about me going down, ever.” 

He fixes some unseen wrinkle on your shirt.  

“Yeah, but, remember... I used to not be like me or Ethan either. Do you think twelve-year-old Spencer would have ever even considered that of the infinite realities and universes which exist, he was living in one where someday he’d be shooting up in the bathroom at work?” 

“Mm-mm,” you hum, shaking your head and burying your face in Spencer’s shoulder. The sound is more of a plea for him to be less descriptive than an answer to his rhetorical question. It’s still much easier for him to talk about that part of his life than it is for you to have to actually imagine it. You didn’t know him then, but you’ve seen pictures, and you know Spencer now, and it’s... it’s just too much. Too sad. 

“Okay,” he agrees soothingly, still playing with your hair. “I digress. My point is that literally anything is possible, and while it’s not necessarily likely, I more than anyone know that anxiety even over the most improbable of things is never completely unfounded.”  

You sniffle in response, too emotionally and physically exhausted to contribute much to the conversation by this point. Thankfully, Spencer can talk for two. An idiosyncrasy which you love and comes in handy every once in a while. He can play his own devil’s advocate; in this case, you. 

“But that doesn’t mean I get to take it out on you. Ever. I truly, truly, sincerely apologize for that. I never want to hurt you.” 

You let the apology sink into your skin like a salve, soothing every abrasion those earlier words had left in their violent wake. 

After a few minutes, you find the energy to ask a question that might best remain unanswered. 

“Are you still mad at me?” 

He’s quiet for a beat, seemingly contemplative as his fingers trace abstract patterns in a language all his own on your arm. 

“I’m not thrilled. But you were right earlier. It’s not my place to be mad at you for something like that.” 

“Mm... it’s a little bit your place. You’re an actual professor.” 

He chuckles. 

“At an entirely different university.” 

“Thank god,” you laugh. “You and me at the same school would be such an HR clusterfuck.”

While it’s almost a serious matter, the smile in his voice is evident. 

“Yeah... I, uh... try not to think about it.” 

“Okay, but seriously. In your professional opinion. Am I fucked? Like, do I need to prepare an appeal and character witnesses or whatever?” 

Spencer sighs. 

“It was incredibly reckless and irresponsible. You should be ready for disciplinary pushback from the schoolboard if you get caught. That being said... because over sixty of you got a hold of the answer key, I doubt anyone is getting expelled, and even if they did, it would likely only be the TA and the student he gave the key to. It’s my tentative, professional opinion that you’ll probably be fine.” 

You relax slightly, allowing a tension you didn’t realize was there to shed like an old skin. 

“I’m not gonna cheat again,” you promise on an exhale. It’s simply too much risk for too little reward.

Spencer’s response is quiet, and comes much faster than you’d expected. 

“Oh, I know you aren’t. Because if you do, you’re going to have to worry about disciplinary action from me. And I’m not nearly as nice as the dean of your school, darling girl.” 

But something about the way he says it—a thinly veiled threat/promise contrasted by a sweet kiss to your forehead—doesn’t exactly make academic honesty look all that exciting.

[catboygretzky]

Exyblr Dashboard Simulator based on what I personally see on sportsblr:

1/?

👑 girlbossriko follow

how many bro jobs do you think it took before riko moriyama and kevin day realized that uh.....maybe this wasn't just a bro thing

👢exyinaphonebooth follow

how many times do they have to come out and say they're like brothers before you freakos stop shipping them

👑 girlbossriko follow

????? do i know u

#it's a tumblr post about two exy players that you'lll never meet in your life it really isn't that deep

558 notes

💃fox-me-up follow

ngl that newest fox is kinda 👀

#psu lb #exy lb

8 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 talk-exy-to-me

The NARRATIVE that kevin day and neil josten have........son of exy! scouting the rookie-est of rookies from fuck knows arizona........no listen you dont GET IT winning is EVERYTHING TO KEVIN and he would risk it on the foxes? And NEIL? who has only played exy for a year! NEIL Gets his attention!!!!! And hes good and he's getting better every game and he keeps bitching about kevin's ex on live tv BUT WAIT!???? NOT QUITE WHAT YOU EXPECT! Bc then neil shows up with a number on his cheek BECAUSE WELL it turns out they've known each other since they were KIDS! how is everyone not insane w me THEY'RE LITERALLY PERFECT

#where r my fellow njkd truthers #how r u all not here with me this isnt even the start #kevneil #210 #psu #njkd

102 notes

☀️ usctrojanny

every smiley blonde striker (jeremy knox) needs a brunette wet cat emotional support backliner (jean moreau)

#jerejean #usc trojans #i'm just saying 🤷‍♀️

58 notes

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

did he just......

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

guys please tell me i'm not insane

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

HE'S NEVER BEEN????? SKIIING???? KEVIN WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?????? KEVIN PLEASE

#i i'm going insane i will literally die if someone doesn't explain this to me HE'S NEVER BEEN SKIING?!!!!

407 notes

🧚 goalie-stan

oh....i'm feeling so weak......it'd sure be nice to have a big strong goalie (renee walker) hold me up (renee if you're free on tuesday i am also free on tuesday.........on tuesday this tuesday, any tuesday?)

#literally passing out just thinking about her holding me don't call don't text i'm busy

84 notes

🌄 softkevinday follow

do u think if u offered kevin day essential oils to heal his hand he'd beat you to death

#it'd be hard for him bc he only has one hand but he could probably do it #legally this is a joke don't do this

284 notes

🗣️ jeremyknoxes follow

feeling normal

215 notes

📜 realexyblog

actually exy rpf is fine, i asked kayleigh day herself and she told me it was fine

112 notes

🐋 sexyexy

'exy is a stupid name for a sport' have you considered that a) i don't care and b) it's named that solely so i can make sex jokes about it

11 notes

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

is he, ya know *mimes jerking off* an ncaa exy player

#i don't believe that straight exy players exist

56 notes

🙈 ittybittyminny follow

Andrew Minyard!!!!!!! 🥰🥰 short king!!!!🤏🤏😋😋 Awwwwwwww the scrunkly!!!!! 🤗🤗🤗 My boinky boy!!!!!🥺🥺 Crinkly doo,,,,shronkle scrimblo......🥺🥺🥺 rb if you'd scrunkle!!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

📖 sapphic-exy follow

he literally killed someone

🙈 ittybittyminny follow

And? God forbid women do anything

#also no proof he did that #yeah there's proof his twin bro killed someone but that's not the same bc theyre different people #almost killing someone doesnt count

807 notes

🐦‍⬛ edgarallenexy

got told i'm problematic for liking the ravens? THAT'S LITERALLY MY SCHOOL OH MY GOD

2 notes

🌸 softexy

Kevin Day - A Study

#kevin day #psu foxes #palmetto foxes #exy #web weave #poetry #psu foxes #palmetto #edgar allen

378 notes

[augustinewrites]

you should absolutely add naoya to the story!!!! i would LOVE some drama between gojo and that loserrrr i just know they hate each other so MUCH

useful context for this fic can be found in three conditions!

"'salt to taste,'" satoru reads, already confused. "what the hell does that even mean?"

tuesdays are always his day to cook dinner - meaning the second you smell something burning, you kick him out of the kitchen to take over - but you'd left about left twenty minutes ago to pick the kids up from karate, so he's on his own.

shrugging, he pours a questionable amount of salt into the bowl of vegetables he's been attempting to season.

after tossing in the rest of the spices, the next step is to cook over medium-high heat. so he flicks the stove on, leaning against the counter as he waits for the pan to heat up.

that's when a knock sounds at the door.

he doesn't move, hoping whoever it is just gives up and goes away. he wasn't expecting any guests, and the backup food he'd ordered shouldn't be arriving for another half hour.

but whoever it is bangs on the door this time, clearly impatient and wanting to get on his nerves.

huffing, he flicks the stove off and stomps to the door, yanking it open.

"you've gotta be fucking kidding me."

"still as uncouth as ever, i see," naoya zenin scoffs, rolling his eyes.

"and you're still as ugly as i remember," he fires back. "no wait— uglier."

that gets the reaction satoru's hoping for, naoya scowling as he says. "seems the rumours are true. my dear relative's run away to become a gojo whore."

satoru barely manages to keep his hands off the blond's throat, because killing him would start an all out war with the zen'ins, and he isn't ready to make waves (yet).

it wouldn't take much force to just put his head through the wall, would it?

"just tell me what you want so i can say no," he says instead, voice fighting to remain steady.

god, he hates the smug look on his face as he asks, "how much do you want?"

"excuse me?"

"how much do you want," he repeats slowly, as if he were talking to a particularly stupid animal. "for her. and the fushiguro boy."

it takes satoru a moment to realize what exactly he's asking for, the request so outlandish that he can hardly believe it. "how much do i— you're insane."

he goes to slam the door, but naoya is quick to catch it.

"it's only right that they should be with their family, don't you think?"

"and that's you?"

"if we're being sentimental about it, yes."

"well, they're not for sale," he says firmly, removing his sunglasses and tucking them into his pocket. every molecule of restraint is quickly leaving his body. "nor will they ever be. now leave."

stupid as he is, naoya senses the thinly veiled threat and turns on his heel, satoru keeping his eyes trained on him until he disappears down the hall.

_____

"naoya stopped by."

"what did he want?" you ask, lips already pulled down into a frown as you take another dish to dry.

"you and megumi."

"of course he does," you sigh, setting the plate aside and resting your palms on the counter "they want ten shadows."

"what are we going to do?" he asks seriously. "what if next time they don't ask?"

"there's not much we can do right now," you tell him grimly. "it’s the zen’in clan, satoru. we just need to keep our heads down and focus on getting megumi into jujutsu tech. at least he won't be so vulnerable with all of us around—”

“hey, hey,” he murmurs, pressing his forehead to yours. “i’m not going to let anything happen to you both. you know that, right?”

“i know,” you smile, kissing the tip of his nose. “that’s why i’m not suggesting we’ve halfway across the world.”

“that’s not a bad idea. we could move somewhere hot and tropical. i’d get to see you in a swimsuit almost everyday…”

“you’d get sunburnt,” you correct, laughing as he nudges his face into the crook of your neck.

“i’d happily let myself get sunburnt if it meant you were safe,” he murmurs into your skin. “the kids would probably eviscerate me if i let anything happen to you.”

“of course they would. they’d starve otherwise.”

[sage-green-matcha]

Hello! I absolutely adore your writing and I think it is amazing 🫶 could you do something summer camp based? (like anything summer camp related)

CRULE SUMMER - ETHAN LANDRY 🏕️

“It’s cruel summer, with you” - Taylor Swift

MINORS DNI!

Content includes: Mean Ethan, enemies to lovers, summer camp! Sexual tension!

A/n: two requests in one!

<3

<3

<3

You couldn't stand Ethan Landry. His annoying voice ticked you off, acting like he was so innocent. Everything about him annoyed you. His style, and god, his stupid hair. Even when you heard him breathe or chew too loud you got annoyed.

"Alright, Team! The only goal for today is to beat the blue team's ass! Alright?" You blew your whistle, gathering all the campers. "Stop chewing on your shirt, Timmy" you cringed, a frown on his face.

"Okay! The annual water balloon capture the flag contest! Honestly dumb name but whatever, don't get hit, and whichever team gets the flag first wins! Which will be us, so don't disappoint me"

You hated it, and it annoyed you. When the teenage campers would drop to their knees for you. There weren't hot people at this camp, well maybe Ethan. But his attitude took away from his looks.

They would do anything for you to notice them. And so would Ethan Landry. He was on the rival side of the camp, captain of the blue team.

"You're funny if you think your team is gonna win" he smirked, filling the blue tub up with balloons. "Haha, we are. We haven't lost since 2019. We got this" you shrugged confidently.

"Right, we'll see about that" You wanted to slap the smirk off his face, maybe knee him in the balls while you were at it. "Shut up" you grumbled through your teeth, fixing the whistle around your neck.

"Alright! Everyone round up" You stood on the chopped tree, balancing yourself on your dirty platform Converse. You liked them cause they made you taller, like Ethan. But you would never admit that.

"Who's ready?!" You smiled as the crowd of campers screamed, water balloons in hand. "3...2...1!" You quickly ran away, taking cover in the lunch room before anyone could find you. Or so you'd thought.

"Found ya" You looked up to be splashed with water, Ethan smiling at you. "Wow, congratulations" you smirked, throwing one right back at him. Your eyebrows furrowed as you noticed his eyes wandering, just to end up on your chest. "What?"

"I...nothing" He scratched the back of his neck.

You looked behind you, to your sides, and then down your body, that's when you realized. You didn't remember about the fight when you were getting dressed, the white baby tee hugging your boobs perfectly. Your ripped blue shorts showing off your thighs. You weren't wearing a bra either, you had been swimming all morning and forgot it at the dock, and couldn't find it after.

"You fucking pervert!" You let out a small gasp, covering yourself quickly. "I'm not a pervert!" You rolled your eyes, bumping him out of the way as you left. "They're just gonna attack you"

"I'm already out" you mumbled, storming away while trying to hide your frustration.

You couldn't believe it, he was staring at your boobs! He's a pervert, he's annoying, he's disrespectful. You could go on and on about it.

You walked outside to see a bunch of the blue team kids splashed in water. A small smile back on your face. At least you had that. Quickly, you made your way back to the cabin, finally putting on a bra and a red tee you had laying around. Too bad you had to watch what you wore now, there was a pervert in the camp.

But honestly, you didn't care, finding your way back to camp in the loose red shirt.

"Looks like my campers beat yours" Ethan grinned, your eyebrows furrowed at your sad group of campers. "You helped them, didn't you?" He gave you a surprised face. "No? Your team just sucks"

You knew he was lying, his team was full of shit runners. "You helped them" he mocked you, his classic smirk shining back at you.

You leaned over, grabbing a balloon from the bucket before throwing it at his face. "Whoah! Okay, you really wanna fight?" You didn't respond, instead holding back a smile as water splashed his chest.

Harsh splashes of water started hitting you, while you tried to collect more balloons. You threw them back at Ethan. "Ethan! Stop!" You smiled as he got closer, missing his body every time you threw a balloon.

"You said you wanted to fight" he chewed on his lip with a smirk, picking you up by your waist. "Get your hands off me, Landry"

You wiggled around in his arms, pushing yourself off of him.

"Who knew you were strong" You didn't mean to say it out loud, but the thought slipped out of your lips. "Have you not seen my muscles?" You cringed at his words, shaking your head.

"Enough playing around you two, clean the mess up" Your eyes turned into lines, twisting your head at the Camp manager. "She's so annoying, doesn't know how to have fun. I mean, it's a kid's camp" Ethan joked, pulling the blue tub closer to his body.

"And you do?" You asked, your back turned to him as he scanned you down. You gave him doughy eyes, turning your head. You noticed his face was slightly pinker than before. Blush looked really good on him. You scoffed, a small smile on your lips.

"I do" he shook his head, getting noticeably closer to you. "Really?" You teased, trying to hide the fact that you were panicking on the inside.

"Mhm"

“Show me”

You didn’t think he was actually gonna make a move, but the way his eyes stared at you  should’ve told you otherwise.

You let out a small gasp, it sounded more like a moan. The lewd sound got Ethan excited. You tried to pull back, but Ethan stayed dominant, pushing you back against the wall.

You prayed the manager wouldn’t come back, enjoying the moment too much. The way his hands squeezed your waist made you melt. His kisses traveled down your neck, sucking and pecking you all over.

“Enough E, you’re gonna leave marks” you tried to sound confident, but you were too flustered. You felt his heart race in his chest, heavy breaths falling from his pretty lips as he pulled away.

“Am I not fun enough?” He smirked, making you scrunch your nose. “Your fun…but I’m way funner” you teased, biting back your lip with a smile.

“Back to being bold?” You nodded, trying to hide your shyness. You slipped under his arm, running back towards your cabin. “I’ll see you at the campfire?” He yelled, making you turn back.

“See you!”

[yakumtsaki]

AND WE'RE BACK. My cancerous thyroid might have briefly cucked me, but now I'm about to cuck every goddamn semi-incestuous couple in this house. Isn't that right, Baby?

-CAWK CAWK

Exactly! Baby here is a parrot that Meadow rolled the want for and I was like sure, what problems could a parrot possibly cause?

-OPEN THIS DOOR. SOMEONE OPEN THIS DOOR FOR ME. OPEN IT RIGHT NOW OPEN IT OPEN IT

Um it should open automatically for you wtf?

-OPEN THE DOOR, MAMMAL TRASH, THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING

Ok Baby seriously why won't the doors open for you?

-I DON'T KNOW BUT I WILL STAY HERE AND PREVENT EVERYONE FROM GOING TO CLASS BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO STUPID TO USE THE OTHER DOOR

Alright then, clearly there's only one solution to this..

Perfection.

-Um, what happened to the door?

-IT ASKED TOO MANY STUPID QUESTIONS. OUT OF THE WAY, HUMMIE SCUM

Well, Baby was clearly a much needed addition to this house. Now, to the main event: an end to the Year of Sin!

NOP, NEVERMIND, SPOKE TOO SOON, MUST DO THIS INSTEAD. We invite Good Witch over for Spice and she asks to bring a friend and it's FUCKING MALCOLM. LMAO. I simply have to, I can't resist-

-Well well well, if it isn't the famous Malcolm Landgraab IV, the finest intergenerational concubine the world has ever seen!

-Huh?

-You were too much of a straggot to date my father, but I know you won't be able to resist the charms of the much better looking son!

-What?

-God, the conversation is just crackling with sexual tension!

-So, Malc, I believe we should make out. Thoughts?

-Where are those fucking butterflies coming from?

-Your stomach? ;)

No, they're from the Good Witch, my bad y'all.

After many, MANY hours of talking, Malcolm finally accepts a lame wolf whistle-

-but our efforts are interrupted by Felina returning from class. WILL YOU GIVE IT A FUCKING REST FOR ONE DAY

-NEVER

-Sorry kid, but if Malcolm Landgraab is to ever consider bisexuality, it will be for someone who can beat up his own sister.

Wtf kinda rule is that you freak?? You know what, just gtfo-

-NO. Stay here, Malcolm, I'd like to hear stories about you and great-great grandma Victoria!

-Oh wow, now that was a real woman. She could hold her liquor, she could whore around, she could beat up anyone.. No man could ask for anyone more feminine!

You are so right, Malcolm, the only one to ever do it better was Long John Silver!

Ok seriously Barth is there a plan here, why are we wasting valuable time on platonic interactions with this loser?

-I just have a feeling true love will prevail!

What are you even talking about-

UM PWND @ ME WTF. ACR DOES IT AGAIN WITH LITERAL NEGATIVE CHEMISTRY LOL

OH FUCK YES TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE. Two Babies with one stone if you will!

-HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON ME, YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD

Ya ok GROSS but finally we can put this behind us, 1 down, 200 more to go. Cyan go back to your other cousin-lover while you still can because I'm breaking you up too!

-Don't have to tell me twice!

Ugh.

-Hmmm...

What now, Barth.

-Nothing, I just keep forgetting I actually have two eyes.

Ya, you and me both.

-But now that I possess peripheral vision, I see there's so much to be done in this house.

You have set yourself on fire multiple times, please stop with the household tasks, that's why we have a butler.

-But he never actually does anything!

Yes well, his main job is to answer the door and we no longer have one, but it's still money well spent.

-WELL I WILL FIX THE DISHWASHER OR DIE TRYING

-BARTH NO I STILL LOVE YOU

-FUCK YOU SUNSET, YOU BROKE MY HEART BY SLEEPING WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND. HE'S NOT EVEN RELATED TO YOU

Barth no offense but I think I'm ready for your next electrocution to take you out.

-As am I!

-And I!

-GETTING SLAPPED MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY IS STARTING TO AFFECT MY MENTAL HEALTH HOW DO I MAKE IT STOP

You could stop being Satan incarnate?

-No, there has to be a better way!

-How about I sleep with the boyfriend of the only cousin in this house who doesn't already hate me?

Yes, absolutely, and please take another crack at fixing the dishwasher when you're done.

[desceros]

i open up my tumblr to get my daily dose of turtle content after an excruciating day and immediately SPAT out my tea seeing what was happening in the rottmnt tumblr community like?? oh my god thats WILD

i presume you're referring to the dragon situation which is. well. it sure is fucking something i'll tell you that.

it's my understanding that she's currently being told she didn't do anything wrong which. ok. i'm going to need people to understand something. there are two big reasons to Why this is Such a Huge Fucking Deal.

interacting, sexually, with adults (which dragon lied about her age to do) is harmful for kids. it puts them directly into explicitly sexual places, which while Mostly Safe, do harbor some people who will latch onto vulnerable people. kids don't have a lot of the real-world experience that adults have that allow them to Spot these asshats and avoid them. kids like validation. they like feeling cool, wanted. and groomers know how to spot people that like these things and give it to them. christ, there are a lot of Adults that get this part wrong. (comprehensive sex education can reduce the chances of this happening, but considering the state of that for children being less than robust, it's safe to assume Most kids aren't being taught the sighs of a proper, actual predator and not 'dude in a white van with some candy.')

interacting, sexually, with kids, can get adults into a MASSIVE amount of trouble. there is no recourse for this. it ruins your reputation, it puts you on a fucking List, it can get you jail time, it destroys your ability to get housing or a job, etc.

so yes. this was all bad because a kid was doing sex stuff. but for everyone who i've seen saying "ohhh we all looked at smut and stuff when we were teenagers, she didn't do anything wrong", yes, she did. because she INTERACTED WITH ADULTS ABOUT IT. yes, we all know that teenagers read smut. we all know that you can click onto someone's blog. frankly, in my opinion, there's never going to be a way to stop that. but having that teenager come into adult spaces and TALK to adults, SEND them asks, POST erotic art, SEND THAT LEWD ART TO ADULTS, DO EROTIC ROLEPLAY WITH OTHER ADULTS, is beyond the pale. that's not "a teenager reading smut like we all did." that's a minor violating the trust and consent of adults who have said they don't want to interact with minors.

i want you to imagine a scenario where we have someone we Know is a liar. she says she's 17 in two months. but is she? she's lied about it before. but let's say we believe her this time. let's say we trust her when she says she's 18 now. we start letting her interact again. we talk about erotica with her again. except oops she's still not 18, she's 16 and her mommy just checked on her blog and sees she's talking about porn with adults. or she hears a headcanon she doesn't like and decides to narc on that adult for sexting with a child. or one of her friends decides they don't like how i talk to people, so they say something.

do you see the problem? sure, the kid is in danger. but so is the adult. the adult who thought they were interacting with another adult, but because that kid lied, now they're the one in trouble. oh, and fun fact, there is typically no recourse against the kid in this scenario. the adult's life is ruined, and the kid gets to walk away.

there are very few adult-only spaces left on the internet. we put up signs on our blogs that say "we talk about sex. minors do not interact." because we want these spaces for ourselves. it's so disrespectful and childish and stupid and selfish and bratty for kids to think "oh, i'm adult enough for that, actually" or "well everyone i'm following is an adult, but they all say minors don't interact, so i'll just lie and say i'm an adult, heehee." it reveals a lack of character and regard for others that disgusts me. it tells me that you don't care about my wishes, you will do whatever you want to get what you want. i did not consent to speak with a child. it's vile behavior, and people who can't comprehend why the adults here are so upset because "oh you don't owe anyone your age, we all read smut as kids, what's the big deal, it's totally fine" are clearly not using any amount of critical thinking because they learned that their favorite artist is a minor and they don't want to rock the boat and lose access to it which, by the way, maybe think about what that says about you.

[peachhcs]

Does Will tell any of the guys he's realised his mistake??

Or even just that he slept with someone??

i like to think will calls grace first. she gives the best advice when it comes to any of this and then he calls gabe and ryan to talk to them.

"what's up, will?" grace asked as soon as she answered the phone.

"i hooked up with someone," will said immediately which caught grace off guard.

"what?"

"there was this halloween party last night..i think i was a little drunk and i hooked up with this girl," the boy explained, chewing on the bottom of his lip.

"okay. did something happen?" the older girl grew concerned.

"only that i did it because i thought i'd be able to get over samy and i didn't. i only thought about her the entire time," the hockey player's head fell into his hands as he sat on the end of his bed.

"oh. i see," the older blonde was at a bit of a loss with what to say.

"i think i fucked up, grace. i think i really, really fucked up," will frowned deeply as all the feelings he's tried pushing away for months began resurfacing.

"will..you didn't..fuck up. did you make a bad choice on rash thoughts? yeah. you didn't completely fuck up though," grace tried reassuring her brother even though she couldn't quite back his decisions.

"i should've talked to her more. i don't..i don't know what i was thinking. i thought i was letting her go for the better, but anytime i see her anywhere i wish i could call her and everything was how it used to be," now will was crying.

"it's not too late to talk. reach out to her. tell her you wanna talk or something."

"i can't. she blocked me on everything so even if i wanted to talk to her, i physically can't," the younger boy frowned deeply.

"do you want me to mention something?" grace offered softly.

"no, that's gonna make me look stupid. she doesn't wanna talk to me and i don't blame her," a long sigh fell from will's lips.

"look, we all do stupid shit when we're 18. she definitely does wanna talk to you. you guys were best friends once upon a time. that kind of bond doesn't disappear that easily. is there any time soon you'll be out near michigan or something?"

"i don't know. days off are random sometimes and unpredictable," will shrugged even though grace couldn't see him.

"maybe talk to gabe and ryan. they could make something happen. i know they're rooting for you two as much as i am to get back together or at least talk," will knew his older sister had a point. he should talk to gabe and ryan, but then they'd just tell him i told you so and harp on him.

"i don't know. i'll see. i should let you go," will mumbled.

"i'm always here to talk, will. it's gonna work out, i promise," the hockey player really wanted to believe his sister's words and he hoped to god it was true.

—

"wow, look who's calling first," ryan grinned through the screen when the call connected. will rolled his eyes a bit, but smiled when he saw his friends on his computer screen.

"you look like shit," gabe commented upon seeing will's red eyes and puffy cheeks.

"fuck off," the blonde mumbled.

"i'm kidding. it's good to see you. you had a hella game the other night," the dark-haired boy cheered.

"dude, you put those older guys to shame. like you were flying," ryan laughed making will laugh as well.

"thanks, it was pretty cool taking some of the veterans down. they're gonna be after me now."

"yeah, no shit. i think everyone now knows why you decided to sign on so early," gabe grinned.

their compliments had will flushing with pride. he's been working hard to prove himself these last few games and he was glad it was all finally paying off.

"by the way, halloween was so legendary this year. we went to like four different parties," ryan chuckled.

"i bet it's crazy in california," gabe wondered as the topic shifted.

"yeah, it is pretty crazy out here. so crazy i even hooked up with someone.." will began which had gabe and ryan's eyebrows raising.

"wait, you hooked up with someone? who?"

"uh..i don't really know her name, but i think..i think i regret it. i thought it would like..help me realize breaking up with samy was the right choice, but it didn't. i just thought about her the entire time.." will felt almost ashamed admitting this to his friends.

"oh."

"you're gonna tell me i told you so, but i know i fucked up now. i..i shouldn't have broken up with samy. i thought it would be better for both of us, but i just really miss her and i wish i could talk to her or something," the blonde frowned.

"you're saying this now? six months after the fact?" gabe raised his eyebrows.

"oh come on, give me a break. i was stupid, i know. i finally realize that now. i don't know what to do," upon seeing their friend's face, gabe and ryan saw how torn up will was about everything. they knew he really regretted everything that happened.

"i just don't get why you didn't talk to her more about this before you even decided to break up? you know she would've talked with you about whatever you were worried about," ryan said.

"it was a bad decision during very rash thoughts. i was overwhelmed and a mess back in may. i got scared and pushed her away like i do to everything. you guys don't need to tell me how much i fucked up. i know already," will huffed.

the three fell silent for a moment. will pulled a hand through his hair while gabe and ryan spoke with their eyes.

"a few of us are going to michigan over winter break to samy's lake house. if you can find some free time, you should come out. i think samy would like to see you. you two can finally talk maybe," gabe finally said.

"i'll think about it," will nodded. could he actually fly out to michigan and see samy after not speaking to her or seeing her for eight months though? the idea sent will's head spinning and not in a good way.

[venusjeon]

faith

a rock god drabble

jungkook drags you back to the convent after having some drinks.

♔ PAIRING: rockstar!jungkook x novice!reader

♔ GENRE: 80s au, angst, fluff, humour

♔ WORD COUNT: 1k

♔ WARNINGS: religious themes, drinking, swearing, referenced non-consensual sex

♔ AUTHOR'S NOTE: 16.3k wasn't enough for these two so they're back! i actually planned this for the main fic but bc i felt it was getting too long i discarded it. here it is though<3 it takes place sometime before that fateful mass...

1986

The cloister looked so beautiful at night with the moonlight raining down on the grass, the crickets singing, the columns’ shadows dancing on the floor… Wait, how were they dancing if they were the columns’? Oh! That shadow was yours, and that one Jungkook’s.

You pointed at them, slurred, “They’re ours!”

Jungkook chuckled, “Nothing gets past you, Sherlock. But keep your voice down and let’s go.”

He was dragging you by the hand through the convent, having previously dragged you from the car and before that from the venue where he performed hours ago. Jungkook had insisted you snuck out to see him again, and you had to say, this time the show had been nothing short of stellar.

“I think I tolerate your music better like this.”

“What, wasted?”

“Let’s go with merry.”

It was your first time getting drunk. The venue had stayed open after the concert—drinks on the house for Bangtan since they’d lured in so much clientele—and when your face expressed hesitance Jungkook promised fun, that he wouldn’t take a single sip to drunksit you and later drive you to the convent. Accepting had proved to be a good decision, even if right now you couldn’t remember half of the night. The one clear thing in the mist of your mind was the seductive way that guitar player had eyed you through Rock God.

“Y/N? Jungkook?” A voice made him halt and curse under his breath.

“Is it Father Jimin?” you asked in what you’d intended as a whisper. Jungkook shook his head, so you turned around to be met with Sister Daeun walking over, and started giggling at the fact that you’d confused her voice with the abbot’s. Obvious you were drunk, the shock on her face at the two of you being out of bed at such hour turned into outrage.

“What in God’s name is going on?!”

You gasped. “Oh my god, I’ve never thought about that... What is God’s name?”

Jungkook would’ve normally laughed, but this time led you to the stone base between the columns some footsteps away and had you sit, lean on one. “Stay here,” he ordered calmly and you nodded, then watched him return to Sister Daeun. “I can explain, aunty.”

“How can you possibly? You took her out and got her drunk!”

“She’s fine, she just had a few drinks. I monitored.”

“Have you forgotten she’s a novice? And what if it had been Father Jimin that woke up for a glass of milk and not me?”

“Father Jimin is not a glass of milk man.” Jungkook assured her, and you burst into giggles again.

“Tell me the truth, Jungkook.” Sister Daeun hugged herself. “Where were you taking her?”

“Well, to her cell. Where else would I–” He saw in her eyes a glimpse of the apprehension she was trying to suppress, and it took him aback. “Nice to know you think me capable of that. What, is it because I have tattoos? Because I’m in a rock band? I guess I was fucking stupid to believe you’re any different to mum and dad.”

Half of Sister Daeun felt ashamed, but the other half jumped to argue, “I see you dragging a drunk girl in the dead of the night, what do you want me to think?”

“That I’m looking out for her!” Jungkook shouted without thinking, his voice echoing across the cloister. Sister Daeun closed her eyes and prayed he hadn’t been as loud as to wake anyone up, but he didn’t care, scoffed at the lack of a response. “If you don’t trust me, take her to her cell yourself, then.”

He turned to leave and with a sigh, his aunt held out a hand to you. “Come with me.”

“No, I want Jungkook…” you whined like a kid, rushing to his side to curl your arms around his left one. Despite how mad he was, he didn’t shake you off or snap at you, instead stopped walking not to pull you into tripping.

“Y/N…” It didn’t take her long to realise separating you from Jungkook would take at least three nuns. “Fine. But we’ll have a word tomorrow.”

She left and Jungkook led you away, hands held softly but a tension lingering in the air—and not the fun one he so liked to summon. You wanted to make him feel better, but it was hard to think straight, and before you knew it you were entering your cell in pitch-black darkness.

“Goodnight,” he whispered once he’d found the bed by touch and helped you lie on it. You reached for his hand in time and pulled, forcing him to sit down.

“Don’t go yet…”

He chuckled lowly, “Scared of the dark?” and you giggled again. Gosh, why was everything so funny when drunk? Well, if you thought about it, you always found Jungkook funny. Sometimes it seemed he went out of his way to make you laugh. He was so nice to you… “Hey, YN…”

“Huh?”

It was dark, but you didn’t need light to see he was nervous. “Listen, I’m sorry about before. Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed you to drink. I’m not the best influence…”

You started playing with his hand. “You didn’t push me. I had lots of fun with you and Bangtan.” Especially when Hoseok and Taehyung kept insisting you sainted them, and you kept explaining that it was sadly not in your power to do so. “I’m glad you were watching over me, because I trust you.”

Jungkook didn’t say anything else, just caressed your hands back. Only once you’d fallen asleep did he leave, the pain in his heart from earlier somewhat lessened.

Hopping into his bed, he thought it was crazy that you had that effect on him. Well… not so crazy. He’d allowed you to have it, given it to you, the one person who seemed to have faith in him. It made him scoff, how ridiculously head over heels he was, and as he thought of that he finally drifted into sleep, a comfortable smile settled on his lips.

[moonspirit]

Hello Moon,

Ok, my curiosity is peaked,

Can we hear about this Papa Levi and Armin headcanon you have cause the more one thinks it over, the more adorable it seems?

I mean we already know that Levi is a gruff but secretly warm Papa bear with his Paradis boys, and with Armin being the timid baby of the group, the possibilities for wholesomeness are immeasurable.

I think we all would love to hear what you have to say on this.

#thehelloanon

Hello!

(Edit: oh god this is very long T^T)

The reason thinking of Levi as the father figure for the Paradis boys makes me so happy is because I think he does continue to see them as his children even long after the Rumbling. I mean, watching them get recruited into the military as very young children, and then being part of the group of adults that guided them into having the right skills, mindsets and motivation, it's hard for me to imagine that Levi does not subconsciously begin to bother about them at every bend and corner. While we've already seen how much he cares for them through the seasons of the show, I also like to spend time thinking about his Papa tendencies post-rumbling, when the Paradis boys are more or less proper adults.

So this is maybe him inviting them to stay at his place when they're visiting, honestly get quite fed up of them in less than 2 hours, but instead of kicking them out (he says he will but pffft), he covers their scraggly sleeping forms with blankets instead. He gives them pep talks before their public appearances, very practically telling them to "give no fucks ever" to the annoying press and their questions. He gets pissed when he finds they haven't been eating properly and goes on a long rant about how weak and stupid they are all the while peeling a dozen potatoes and cooking an elaborate lunch. He comments on their new hairstyles. He tells them off when their suits look wrinkled. He forces the boys look sharp and neat. He tells them they should hold their heads high and be confident and brave.

With Armin, I DO think Levi has a special soft-spot, both in canon and as a headcanon. It's very endearing to imagine he quite liked Armin right from the start. A polite kid, very smart, diligent, responsible, level-headed. I can't see him doing anything to tick Levi off (other than being Eren's friend lmao). Armin also possesses a sincerity and pureness of intent (i.e. his dreams are very simple and joyous, not necessarily hurting anybody directly) which I like to imagine reminded Levi a lot about the very motto of the Scouts and what they were striving so hard to achieve. I don't think Levi would've treated him any different from the others though. Anyway. Good boy with a good heart and poor taste in friends (one raging idiot and one gloomy brat).

Coming back to canon, see, I think that as much as Levi made his choice in Shiganshina about who to give the serum to, that while he doesn't regret it, he also feels responsible for burdening Armin with the implications of being brought back to life. Levi might've been very aware of Armin's physical shortcomings, but without a doubt he acknowledged his intelligence and strategic talent. This is *one of the reasons*, I believe, that Levi thinks it's fine to let Erwin rest and bring his suffering to an end, because as inexperienced and young as Armin is, he has the potential to reach great heights, in due time.

Anyway, Levi's choice burdens Armin to very great extents, forcing him into situations where he struggles with feelings of being inadequate, insufficient, and overall useless. I don't think Levi was blind to any of this, just that he might not have engaged in your typical "sit-your-kid-down-buy-him-a-snack-and-talk-feelings" type of thing. However I can see him as giving Armin tiny pointers to bring him out of his mental turmoil, even if only for brief moments. So maybe that's telling him "Oi. No time to spiral, focus." or "Your friends are depending on you, get out there." stuff, you know?

Post-canon, you have Armin trying to battle greater things, such as the grief over Eren's death, his contribution in the Rumbling, his personal guilt, his overwhelming insecurity and so on and so forth. Do you think Levi would be watching all this and not think of his own personal responsibility in pushing this young boy with innocent dreams into this disastrous role of power, tasked with leading the world? I think not. I think Levi would feel more responsible for it than ever before, and coupled with his existing soft-spot for Armin, would quite naturally slip into a parental role. Perhaps they have long conversations. Perhaps Levi always makes sure Armin's got pressed clothes and new socks. Perhaps Levi reminds him now and then to take the tie off and go have fun. All in his deadpan delivery of course, but still.

A Papa to his Son all the same.

[yeonslayjun]

Dumb and Dumber - Hualian

Hua Cheng and Xie Lian are so OBVIOUS and OBLIVIOUS at the same time Honestly They amaze me ngl

Cuz Hua Cheng be Like - Wdym Gege Loves me?? That's impossible like I don't think he loves me solely for the fact that I'm one of his last believer left and that I built a FUCKING CITY for him and how I ran helped him in a case and dressed up as a Groom and gege was a bride (Oh his dead heart definitely started beating then pls ) and how I Built a temple to worship him and how I released 3000 lanterns for him and that I've made 10,000 statues for gege and not how I have red thread of fate on my finger bc he tied his hair on my finger

ALSO wdym I had my gay awakening at the land of tender??? Impossible He's my god I can't have those feelings for him bc I'm a dirty piece of shit (NO YOU ARE NOT)

and DEFINITELY NOT HOW I GAVE HIM Spirtual Power... DEFINITELY NOT HAHAHA.... Now let me just ask his hand for marriage OH nvm I'm unworthy he doesn't like me ( WHILE XIE LIAN IS SITTING ON HIS LAP ) let's make it into a joke hahaha..... OH? Gege's says he's happy for my beloved when will he know it's him talking about?? :( ( let's ignore he didn't know half of these lmao)

OH MY GOD GEGE SAW THE STATUES That's it I'm getting disowned by him He'll hate me ofc he will... I knew this would happen no I'm okay, IT'S FINE... Yeah he really should make it clear that he doesn't love me huh? :((

Like Hua Cheng is SO DOWN BAD for Xie Lian Like Honey we get it You exist to LOVE your Taizi Danxia and to serve Cvnt and angst

AND

My guy Xie Lian here is SO VERY OBLIVIOUS like I get that he was practicing abstinence but bro's like -

Oh Hua Cheng is such a pretty name *giggles* Oh and his hands were so beautiful and he was gentle with me too when he dressed as the Groom *blushes* Oh Crimson Rain Sought Flower is his name? *swoons* HOLY SHIT HE'S HOT *nosebleeds*

I like this kid san lang. OoO Did he just suck the poison out of me?!?! DAYUM he killed so many people at once *swoons x2*... WAIT IS HE HUA CHENG??!?! Oh my gosh IT IS Hua Cheng ajhsjdhsudhu Let's act calm and composed hehe. Let's sleep together cuz He would never hurt me >:( I wonder what happened to the kid who said he'd worship only me :( He was a good kid yk? Had one eye covered too kinda like you actually haha Funny Right???

He's so perfect as a "sworn brother" ( Yes I'm looking at you SQX) protecting me and shit. Wait he trusts me??? ME?!?! huh?!?!. San Lang~~~. AHHH HE RELEASED 3000 LANTERNS FOR ME AHHHH I LOVE HIM as a friend ofc ofc.

Oh I LOVE getting Spiritual Energy from him <3 that wasn't a kiss nope it wasn't.... ERROR 101 San Lang asked my hand in marriage ERROR.... o h He was Joking :( ofc he was :((( I wish he wasn't tho :((((( SAN LANG HAS A BELOVED?!?!? Ofc he has He's such a handsome and kind man he probably gets all the bitches he wants But why do I feel smth weird in my heart?? (IT'S CALLED JEALOUSY YOU DUMB MOTHOFO )

Honestly God (Jun Wu LMAO) Knows how he survived the past 800 years like BRO WHY IS YOU SO STUPID when it comes to love?!?!? Like ISTG He's one of the smartest of all the jokes called "GODS". But he still doesn't get it till he saw the 10,000 statues Hua Cheng prepared like pls

ALSO Hua Cheng the ghost king who defeated 33 gods and how his smartass self esp rubbed the floor with them Civil Heavenly Officials But the one moment he needs it to realise the VERY OBVIOUS FACT that Xie Lian loves him The Genius Smartass is nowhere to be seen

But tbh I can't blame Hua Cheng much here cuz Xie Lian was very oblivious to his own feelings pls BUT STILL

Their Slow-burn was too much for me Like the chemistry was SO OBVIOUS but they're just Dumb kids when it comes to feelings *sighs* The Hualian Brainrot is rotting my brain away as we peak

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM VARIOUS HORROR/SLASHER FILMS *  assorted dialogue from scary movies i will never watch tbh :)

did you really call the police?

there is no death.

i told the others. they didn't believe me. you're all doomed.

i just can't take no pleasure in killing.

i don't really believe in motives.

there's just some things you gotta do. don't mean you have to like it.

if i concentrate hard enough, i can move things.

you must renounce this power. you must give it up.

there is something horrible happening in my house.

do you remember the thing you said on our wedding night?

you're going to die up there.

i've been afraid of storms ever since i was a little kid.

they're opening that place again?

at least i'm not afraid of ghosts.

my bed was shaking. i can't get to sleep.

you listen to me, you little bitch.

you sick fucks. you've seen one too many movies.

come on! it's gonna be a fun trip!

oh, that gun's no good.

you're such a sucker for it.

i've never sensed anything like it.

they die better that way.

you still haven't told me your name.

i was the killer!

somebody's there!

what are you doing out in this mess?

that's the last goddamn hitchhiker i ever pick up.

if i have any more fun today, i don't think i'm gonna be able to take it!

i don't think any of you have any idea of just how nasty what you did really was.

the devil exists. god exists. and for us, as people, our very destiny hinges upon which one we elect to follow.

you're doomed! you're all doomed!

what's your favorite scary movie?

shut your mouth!

hold me. please hold me.

you damn fool! you ruined the door!

i was at the slaughterhouse.

a second body was found in a ditch near the perimeter of the cemetery.

there's no need to do that.

what's that stench?

you're not even going to reprimand them? no punishment?

please help me!

you can't just let them kill me!

you never paid any attention!

i'll do anything!

sin never dies.

oh, that's blood all right.

you have a lot of spirits in here, but there is one i'm most worried about because it is so hateful.

are you alone in the house?

what an excellent day for an exorcism.

it knows what scares you. it has from the very beginning. don't give it any help, it knows too much already.

the power of christ compels you.

there's someone in this fucking room!

next time i catch anybody over there, i'm gonna have to run them in.

they're all gonna laugh at you!

we keep everything locked in here. feel free to look around.

hear that?

i'm the devil. now kindly undo these straps.

is there someone inside you?

don't go anywhere.

talk louder, i can't hear you!

you already cut me too deep! i think i'm dying here!

you fuckin' hit me with the phone, dick!

oh my god, i thought you were dead.

we all go a little mad sometimes.

this is the moment where the supposedly dead killer comes back to life for one last scare.

don't call me that!

you wanna get us killed!

come on, there's something you're not telling me.

you'll never come back again.

wanna see my trick shot? it's even better.

his body was never recovered from the lake after he drowned.

help me tie this around my waist.

you've never done this before.

when you hear it, you're gonna think we're insane.

it did that to your face?

everything you see in here is either haunted, cursed, or has been used in some kind of ritualistic practice.

watch it, you stupid shit.

[scoobydoodean]

I love the juxtaposition between Dean and Cas's reactions to Raphael in 5.03, when Raphael says God is dead and they just want this all to be over. There are tears in Raphael's eyes when he says it, and Cas mirrors him. The empathy he feels for Raphael—despite everything—is evident.

Dean though? Dean is mocking Raphael.

RAPHAEL: Do you think God would have let any of that happen if He were alive? DEAN: Oh yeah? Well then who invented the Chinese basket trick? RAPHAEL: Careful. That's my Father you're talking about, boy. DEAN: Yeah, who would be so proud to know His sons started the frigging apocalypse. RAPHAEL: Who ran off and disappeared. Who left no instructions and a world to run. DEAN: Daddy ran away and disappeared. He didn't happen to work for the post office, did He?

I think a lot of what Dean says is for Cas's benefit. Dean's caught on that god means a lot to Cas by now—he'd be stupid not to (especially after their fight in 5.02). Cas needs to believe his father cares and loves him and will help if Cas can just find him. So even though Dean himself thinks god is a deadbeat who doesn't give a shit, he mocks and belittle's Raphael's perspective and throws in the joke about the post office as an in-joke with Cas, purely for Cas's benefit, to try and lighten the mood. At the end of the episode, Dean encourages Cas not to give up hope. He tells him that if he believes his father is out there, he should follow his convictions and keep searching.

The other component of this though... is that Cas and Raphael are living through something with their own father that Dean has already lived... and Raphael and Michael's solution is to kill everybody about it.

So Dean goes, "Oh, so your dad left you with all of his responsibilities and then just disappeared? Boo hoo so sad." Like he is speaking from the perspective of someone who does know what it's like to be abandoned with the bag, and from the perspective of that lived experience, he is saying their actions are not justified—they are not acceptable. They don't get to take their daddy issues out on the world just because daddy is a deadbeat.

RAPHAEL: This is funny to you? You're living in a godless universe. DEAN: And? What, you and the other kids just decided to throw an apocalypse while He was gone? RAPHAEL: We're tired. We just want it to be over. We just want...paradise. DEAN: So, what, God dies and makes you the boss and you decide you can do whatever you want?

And there's another connection to Dean here in that Raphael says he's tired. When Raphael says that, he is repeating something Dean said way back in 2.09, when the weight of John's last words was crushing him. John left Dean with responsibility for Sam's demonic destiny, which has now actually come to fruition in the form of the apocalypse. Dean has been blamed twice for the apocalypse already (5.01, 5.02) by Zachariah and Cas, because he didn't stop Sam in time.

So Raphael feels chained by his father's responsibilities and orders that are too big, and Dean has felt chained to Sam and Sam's destiny since season 2 (and chained to Sam more generally through parentification before then). They are both sons whose father left them with the bag—with responsibilities they just can't handle. They both just want it to be over (Dean does not want to feel responsible for Sam!!! He says that in 5.02 AND at the end of 5.03). But what Raphael and Michael are doing? Well. They're fucking killing everyone because they can't deal. Raphael thinks they can create some kind of paradise through destruction, but it's a fucking pipe dream. He isn't solving anything at all.

[sexhaver]

i wanna prod at ur catholic confession post actually. like yes, murder and child rape is obviously bad and there is an inherent problem with how the catholic church shields abusers. but i think removing some of the restrictions of what a priest can or cannot say about a confession could cause some problems. like, for example, how a lot of priests considerer LGBT people to be child abusers/predatory! hypothetically if the cath church made it so preists could openly condemn confessions guilty of child abuse, and if the church considers identifying as LGBT as child abuse, then that could cause problems if someone confessed to IDing as gay/trans. or alternatively, what if someone confesses to killing a rapist/sexual abuser. a priest could use that confession to testify against them and get them imprisoned. is it ok to imprison people for murdering their abusers? idk, but i dont like the idea of the catholic church having that power having a blanket statement that priests cant mention ANY confessions makes it *slightly* more immune to corruption IMO. obviously i dont think this solution is perfect, but my alternative would be to dissolve the catholic church entirely, and i dont think thats happening anytime soon.

well as you point out there isn't really a good solution to this, and that is because the idea of confession is inherently dumb as fuck. everything the catholic church considers a sin falls into one of three categories:

failing to be pious enough (forgetting to pray, missing church, taking the Lord's name in vain). keeping these secret is fine because they aren't, like, actual crimes, and in small + devout enough communities there are definitely priests who would gossip about to their neighbors if not for the confessional seal.

really cool and good activities that are only an issue if you were raised to believe that they would send you to eternal neverending torture after death (jacking off, being gay, having premarital sex, getting/considering an abortion). these should obviously be kept secret because they're embarrassing and potentially dangerous. however, this is kind of a moot point, because any decent person (priest or otherwise) would understand this without needing a confessional seal making it official. so these need the seal to stop the average priest from tattling to a kid's parents when they confide in them.

actual literal crimes with prison sentences and everything (rape, murder, manslaughter, assault). you should not be telling anyone about these if you can help it. what the fuck guys. this isn't even an ethics thing, this is a "don't be fucking stupid" thing. if you murdered your abuser and got away with it, good for you! now shut the fuck up about it because murder is still illegal. is the guilt eating you alive so badly that you need absolution from God about it (cringe)? do what Protestants figured out centuries ago and cut the middleman out of the equation by talking to the J.C. directly via personal prayer! yes i am aware this is heretical. if you care about heresy more than getting caught you are stupid.

so looking at the three points above, the best argument in favor of confessional seal that i can formulate is "sure, it allows murderers and abusers to literally have their actions condoned by God with the explicit guarantee of never being held legally accountable or even changing their behavior (just say a few Hail Maries), but think about the consequences of removing it! priests would be even MORE bigoted than they already are! some of them might even GOSSIP!" like hm, okay, i hear you, you make some excellent points, i think we should nuke the Vatican

[kiyans-corner]

The more I think about it the more I refuse to believe Tim is ~the only one who put it together based off of a flip~.

Were there perfectly sane, rational people that saw it, clicked the association, and went 'ok yeah but they were the only people that could do that flip... recognized OfficiallyTM' because it's absolutely COMMON AF in most sports for some rando doing some absolutely insane 'impossible' bs just like. in their spare time or in unofficial comps like the figure skating backflip thing? Yes. Absolutely. Kid was trained by The Batman, of course he can pull off some absolutely wild bullshit most people will never manage even with years of training.

Were there a few of gymnastics and aerial nerds that went "hey what the F U C K" when they did a little math and the kid is the right age with the right timing, and went yeah sure that's coincidental... Yes. But. The signature move they're most famous for? Not exactly the only unique thing the Graysons had in their repertoire. The unique things that this kid-who-is-the-right-age does effortlessly, smoothly in a way that doesn't happen unless you learn to fly and walk at the same time. The exact same sequences sometimes, from a few grainy clips that hit the 'net of him just goofing off bouncing between fucking skyscrapers. Doesn't matter what kind of training he got with The Batman, that kind of confidence in your body to do exactly what you want it to do every single time does NOT happen quickly. And tbh... The Bat just kinda sucks whenever he actually does flips. Better than most people, but not on a "headed to the Olympics for gold" good. Kid learned it somewhere else. ...oh gods oh fuck BATMAN is BRUCE FUCKING WAYNE what in the ABSOLUTE FUCK okay, okay, this is fine, I know what happens to masks if you unmask them, I'm not putting a kid at risk for that bullshit, and really they're taking care of things and helping in ways the cops just don't... ever seen a Gotham Pig help someone buy groceries or get a job? nah, The Bat is OURS and so is the kid. I Know Nothing.

Anyone who has ever run into Tiny Baby Dick literally anywhere, the kid doing the same stunts as Robin down to the finger placement... Well. (the kid literally hangs around doing Cool Things across from my office window half the time the Batsignal is lit, so I know for sure that's definitely Exactly The Same.)

The thing is most people just Carefully Did Not Realize this connection (even after they definitely did). "So... Hey did you ever notice that the Robin kid does a lot of the same stunts the Flyi-" "NOPE. No. Absolutely not. I don't know jack fucking shit, no sir, not me, and you'd better not either. You want to get a visit from some masked psycho for knowing that? And I'm including The Batman here, I'm not fucking with his kid. No? You don't? Neither do I, so We Know Nothing! Burn whatever notes you took, delete all your files, run your hard drive through the garbage disposal, and NEVER. EVER. BRING. THIS. UP. AGAIN. EVER."

Tim was "the only one to figure it out" because he was just the sort of arrogant that comes with being twelve-ish in addition to being smart enough to be really, really stupid.

[happyk44]

actually annabeth joining luke's army as a double agent for chb but percy doesn't know this so he just thinks alright and grabs grover and hooks it over there bc annabeth does what she wants and he knows there's no convincing her otherwise bc she's a stubborn ass and also ares fucking sucks so as far as percy's concerned the gods can suck it based on that alone

grover is just ??? bc he does NOT want to be over here and percy's just like "look, we can't convince annabeth to not be part of monster army, so the only option is to be part of it ourselves" and annabeth walks in on them trying to join (or rather percy trying to join for both of them and grover looking on the verge of tears) and she's just ??? bc what the fuck percy why are you two here

whole time percy is going on a rant about ares and how he sucks and how he's pretty sure the god has abused clarisse ("maybe we should get clarisse to sign up with us") because no one believes that he wants to join luke's army and they just thinkk he wants to spy on them so he's trying to show that he thinks gods (well at least one god) is a total ass and can get obliterated and percy will be happy to do that bc he did it once before, he can totally do it again! and if they get clarisse she can deliver the final blow as an FU

someone asks why grover's there and percy is like "um. he's my best friend? he has to come with me? what, you think I'm gonna fucking fight my best friend? are you stupid?"

meanwhile grover is having the worst panic attack of his life. like why is this how he discovers percy has no morals. couldn't it be something smaller like putting french fries in a strawberry milkshake?

and annabeth is resisting the urge to start screaming and now she's gotta vouch for percy and her vouch for percy is basically "if it came to saving me and grover or a bus full of people about to plunge into the atlantic, percy would save us, no hesitation" and everyone's like "jesus christ, the hell is wrong with this kid" because like maybe they're on the side of a cannibalistic titan but they're not fucking evil

ofc once they're let into the group, annabeth drags them both to the side and wrings percy a new one for fucking up her double agent plans and they're both whisper-arguing bc it's not his fault he didn't know she didn't really shack up with the enemy, but like fuck off percy, you didn't have to follow me here! why the hell would you choose to come here, were you going to try and kidnap me and bring me back to camp by force??

and percy is just like "yes that is 100% what i was going to do, i was definitely not joining with the intent to be by your side and blow up olympus because i'd rather destroy the world than fight my friend" and grover turns to annabeth and is just "he's fucking lying" "yeah i know"

anyway grover is released as a double agent for the monster army (but actually for CHB) bc the idea is that he can help them get more demigods to their side as a searcher being sent out to grab kids and he's mentally banging his head bc NOW he has to figure out how to get unclaimed demigods safely to camp without making it look like he took them there on purpose and if it looks like he defected back to CHB, they'll probably kill annabeth and maim or imprison percy and good gods, percy i hate you so much rn

percy? idk. it's past summer so he just goes home and luke is like "bro you can't just fucking leave" "um no offense luke but if you try to stop me from going home to my mom who i love more than life itself i will legit eat you" and then he goes home

come december, grover is calling percy up like "hey i found these fucking powerful ass kids, plz help me get them to camp without making it look like i got them there on purpose" and so they gotta loop annabeth in who's just mentally banging her head and cursing percy out over this whole thing as she strategizes a way to get the army there but have them fuck up so badly it would look super suspicious if grover just shoved them over

so first she yells at percy then she makes grover call thalia up so she can help him and it'll be okay 'cause she's in the same area as him so it won't look suspicious, it'll just seem like camp sent her in with him, like they do sometimes when there's dangerous monsters that a satyr might not be able to handle by themselves.

and then she makes percy go with them as support for grover's "nefarious" deeds since thalia's there. and it's a whole fucking thing, and mentally she's just like "oh thank fuck" when artemis and the hunters show up.

they retreat back to wherever the monster army was at this time (not the boat, but like idk. atlas' post? were they all chilling there or was it just luke and some ppl being assholes and everyone else was still on the boat, i can't remember) and curse their loss of two powerful and clueless demigods, only for percy to call annabeth up a couple hours later like "hey, remember those kids from a couple hours ago with the manticore and the hunters and everything"

"percy it was two hours ago, ofc i remember it, my memory isn't as shit as yours" "right right, you're elephant" "oh my- why are you calling me!!" "oh yeah. uh. well. they're kinda in my house" "what??" "yeah they're sitting right across from me. my mom's giving them some hot chocolate."

"how the hell?"

"i have no clue. they also have no clue. they just, uh, didn't feel safe at camp, bc grover was being weird about trying to save them. which, um, yeah, makes sense. and they don't like thalia because her spear scares them 'cause they don't like lightning. and also the girl said the hunters keep trying to convince her to join them which is freaking her out, so they didn't want to stay at camp. and then suddenly they were in my house."

"..."

"what do i do?"

this time annabeth bangs her head physically on the closest wall. and somewhere in the fine forests of new york, grover is banging his head on the nearest tree, both of them unified in their feelings of "for fucks sake percy i hate you so much rn"