#keep left unless something
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recurring minor characters not being in s2 of the show does mean that TLO is absolutely doomed now if they ever do get to it, because the weight and impact of characters like Silena and Beckendorf are entirely based on how long they've been around in the books and their longstanding connection to events in the story and particularly Percy (not to mention Beckendorf's importance in SoM specifically but i digress)
HOWEVER. on the bright side: this means they are spared from being in the show for now. so.
#pjo#pjo tv#riordanverse#charles beckendorf#silena beauregard#silena also not showing up until the end if theyre gonna keep her being the spy would also be terrible because like. theres no impact then.#this random character comes out of nowhere and is apparently Clarisse's bff and also the spy for the TA? that's out of left field#UNLESS we have already established Silena as this recurring extremely trusted character. she avoids conflict! she's a daughter of aphrodite#she loves her (eventually) boyfriend and she's so beloved she managed to become best friends with CLARISSE of all people!#AND she's close friends with Annabeth too!#you *need* to set that up as early as possible with her or else her role in the narrative falls completely flat#im kind of wondering if with how much they've been emphasizing Chris this early on they might merge Chris and Silena's characters#im thinking either they're gonna have Chris defect from the army way earlier on (SoM) for the whole ''teams racing'' thing#so its like Clarisse and Luke both racing to try and save Chris from the same situation Percy Annabeth and Tyson are saving Grover from#and that being an earlier version of Clarisse saving Chris from the labyrinth or something#or they combo Chris and Silena and have Chris stick around at CHB after Luke leaves for the TA#since the show already establishes Chris as like Luke's right-hand man in s1 since Chris is basically only shown alongside him#so having Chris stick around at CHB would inherently be suspicious and his dynamic with Luke would indicate he's the spy#and because he's dating Clarisse he can fill in those roles Silena fulfills as Clarisse's Patroclus#which implies he'd probably die to the drakon in TLO for Clarisse's rampage in a moment of redemption but given Chris like.#never shows up post-TLO anyways they would probably figure that's fine#im thinking thoughts
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took a hiatus from white collar and first full episode back in...
neal, with tears in his eyes, yelling at peter “I did it for you” and peter at the end of the ep “you’re a criminal, and you can’t help yourself. shame on me for expecting anything else”.
this used to be my just for fun show 😭😭
(side note, i wish to GOD i enjoyed neal’s significant others on this show like, at all, but museum girl is just a bore?!? like her reaction to him telling her he was a criminal, which was to be like idc you’re hella hot and actually being a criminal sounds fun can i help pls, was 10/10 perfect but i just find the actress super bland and again, having little to no chemistry w/bomer. my kingdom to have sara only-good-love-interest ellis back.)
#fun how at some point things fracture between neal and peter and then idk just never really get better again?!?#(unless they do?? idk don’t tell me but also maybe tell me)#and like this whole coin thing and all the hagen stuff - neal 100% did that for peter#but the way he’s also *not* wrong & neal is a criminal & is kind of back to just taking something if he wants it (hot but illegal)#but it’s still devastating to him that this is how peter sees him#(and also such a killer bc saving peter really is what set him down this path again)#anyway i have like 10 episodes left of the series i think and i feel GREAT about how things are gonna go#(also also justice for neal - why did they hire the blandest actresses around as his love interests it’s W I L D)#(minus hilarie ofc she ruled)#white collar#neal x peter#neal caffrey#peter burke#the way they’re family & love each other so much but also just keep breaking each other’s hearts and letting each other down#THIS SHOW USED TO BE FUN
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How are we feeling after this week's leaks?
Bad. Though I always knew that Horikoshi would pull a Kishimoto and that bnha is copganda first and foremost, I still didn't quite expect that he'd be so obvious with it.
So far, no one has actually been confirmed "saved." Dabi is dying, except instead of on the battlefield, he's going out the slow way, permanently fixed to a hospital bed where he'll wade out the remainder of his stagnant life as it trickles out of him day by day. I do not care about the heart monitor, and I do not care about the rest of his family. I'm officially sick of the other kids and Rei in canon.
Endeavor never suffers any real consequences. We're made to think he does, of course, because he's endured severe injuries. But isn't it oh-so-convenient that society does not need to reckon or hold him accountable/make an example of their no. 1 hero? Society doesn't need to actually sit down and hash out what needs to be done about their super star pro being a domestic abuser and eugenicist. The story can easily wipe its hands of the mess that is Endeavor's character.
And let's not forget about Twice, whose murderer is now president of the lil organization that ordered the deaths of who knows how many. Yet another motherfucker who does not suffer any consequences for his actions. And while at least Endeavor admits that what he did was wrong, Hawks never has. He orders the death of Toga, and no one has said anything about it. He's not reflected on it other than to say how cool Twice was. Twice, whose double wished Hawks death in his last moments in Toga's arms. (And I could get into how Twice's blood + Toga pretty much had zero impact, but then I'd lose my mind.)
Let's not even fucking mention how dog of the state Nagant is being let out of prison L-O-Fucking-L.
What can I say? It's cop propaganda. Hawks is a murder who got rewarded and Endeavor is the shit at the bottom of Horikoshi's shoe that he's wiping off the in the grass and hope no one notices the smell.
I cannot wait for this manga to be over and for all the hawks and co. fans to fuck off so the rest of us can sit, talk shit about how stupid this story is, and sexualize the villains in peace lmao. I'll still be here writing and thinking about dabitwice and talking mad shit about
#pabloernesto#bnha leaks#mha critical#lots of people have gone into detail about the points i touched on briefly#so i'm not going to go over them but anyway#unless something whack happens i am officially done keeping up#i've got the au where the villains win and how they deal with the aftermath#and nova + all the other dabitwice aus living rent free in my head#horikoshi does not have anything left that i'm interested in
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does anyone ever actually get fucking actively romanced. does anyone ever get pursued. is anyone ever actually confident they're actually wanted in romantic relationships. is there any hope for me at all or should I just resign myself to constantly feeling unloved in every relationship I have or give up on romance all together and be alone my entire life lol
#hey so it turns out 8 years of not getting committed to for vague reasons that ultimately boil down to 'there's something wrong about you'#really fucks you up! who'd have thought lol#and now I'm even worse off than before because I waited in vain hope for so goddamn long and now I'm Old and Undesirable#I'm 32 years old and I have no money no prospects I'm already a burden to my parents etc#and on top of that#I feel so guilty bc I KNOW my parents want to be grandparents and have resigned to not being ones and it makes me want to WEEP#god knows my sisters won't be doing it so it's all on me#i'm not even opposed to being a parent!#but mom dad I'm missing some crucial ingredients over here unless you guys get really cool with wedlock all of a sudden#and I'm TRYING I'm going on all these stupid awkward dates but it all feels so POINTLESS because#god knows I'll just end up in the same bullshit situation I just left because I love and love and no one ever loves me BACK#because the problem is ME. I'm not a person people want to keep. There's something WRONG with me.#anyway#don't mind me it's sad sack hours and my therapist is unavailable atm so you guys are my diary rn <3#shut up keri
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Im actually never forgiving Descendants: The Royal Wedding for being all silly goofy happy cartoon and then out of fucking NOWHERE just dropping "I really miss Carlos guys" HEY DISNEY WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM
#It's so fucking jarring#The entire episode up to that point was all goofy funny times and then#That#It also irks me cause they're clearly moving away from the core four with the next movie#I mean I HOPE so anyway#So what was the point of killing him off at all you could've just left him alive NOTHING would change#Like it's an animated mini movie you could easily find a VA that sounds like him#Or if you really didn't wanna do that#Put him in some sort of situation that causes him to be away from the wedding#Maybe he sends a letter or something idk#Like why kill him if you were already ending the core four's story there and moving on to new characters#And like don't get me wrong they SHOULD move away from the core four#Do not fucking touch them anymore unless it's little cameos#The entire reason they initially canceled D4 was because they didn't wanna go on without Cameron#So if they were to go back on that and kill him off so they could keep making movies that would be disrespectful as FUCK#D4 probably a cash grab but I am glad they went the creative route and decided to explore other parts of the universe#Instead of clinging onto the group that's missing a cast member#I just#Man#You could've left him alone Disney you really didn't have to do that#And in the worst way possible too#descendants#peg speaks
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Chapter 1 for Sketches of Freedom and Chapter 7 for These Hollows Halls are (very) hopefully on the way in May!! (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡
#So sorry about the delay#Life be doing what life does best#Handing you a handful of juggling balls and telling you to juggle....and I have two left hands +#The minute I decide to update like this I start feeling ill again#Like fr Im cursed or something. I keep getting sick the minute I have time to write dsfsdjfsdjfj#They should both hopefully be posted in May. That's what I'm aiming for unless something unexpected happens.#Not sure specific dates but they're cooking. Stay tuned (⸝⸝> ᴗ•⸝���)#Sketches of Freedom update 🎪#These Hollow Halls update ☕#𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖒𝖔𝖔𝖓 𝖜𝖍𝖎𝖘𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘 ☽#𝖂𝖔𝖗𝖉𝖘 𝖜𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖓 𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖘 ✨
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well you cant just say krausers cabin au and not elaborate 😼
smiles so big and wide let me tell you all about it

(putting a cut because I'm the yapper)
basic premise for the au inspired by a convo I had with @/birdycage is Leon spares Krauser after their final fight, and Krauser decides to go live off the grid in a cabin in the woods (he has a small farm which consists of chickens and like basic crops), and then I got super attached to the idea and 2 pages later I have a vague outline for a fic
which basically is like before the events of RE4 meet in a bar and have a one night stand, at the time neither party really knows who the other is but Krauser keeps making weird bug sounds that Wesker's sensitive hearing picks up on which raises some suspicion so Wesker keeps tabs on Krauser and lo and behold he does in fact have that bug (plagas) in him, but since Krauser doesn't die in this au Wesker just continues keeping a distant but close eye on him out of intrigue
cut to after RE5 Wesker survives the volcano because I said so (nothing infected goes down for real the first time) and also transitions (because getting blown up and losing everything cracked that egg wide open), and for the time being is keeping a fairly low profile while slowly trying to rebuild the power she had before getting exploded, and something happens which causes her to have to fully disappear for awhile and so she crashes at Krauser's cabin, threatening to reveal his location to the U.S government if he doesn't comply (not that he wouldn't anyway because lowkey... he is a little lonely out there, but anyway) and eventually, she sticks around long enough that her presence is just the new normal for him, and they slowly start to enjoy eachothers company
what Krauser had forgotten to mention is that Leon is a dog that never lets go of it's bone and he likes to spend his rarely given vacation time also at Krauser's place, and when he comes by he is not super impressed (and a little jealous) with Krauser's new choice of roommate though he will eventually come around, and I imagine Leon and Krauser are a lot closer intimacy-wise even if they aren't expressly like together but over the course of Leon's visit Wesker get brought into that tenderness (even though at first she is heavily resistant the prospect of being held is to enticing)
tldr: Krauser tries to run away from humanity and self isolate in a woodland cabin but his pussy has Wesker and Leon so whipped they'd follow him anywhere and refuse to not be in his life
#b0n3d0g babbles#something about wesker and krauser meeting up pre and post their respective b.o.w flavored breakdowns is compelling to me#also leon is there because they need someone with an ounce of regular humanity left to keep them together#apologies if this braindump isn't super coherent i think about this . a lot and so theres a lot of detail im trying to condense into-#-something readable lol#like i said there is a vague fic outline for this but i dont know when ill actually get around to writing it#maybe over the summer ill put more dedicated time into it.. unless the brainworms takr over before then
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Bad has so many reasons to be cautious, even paranoid, as anyone else on the island. From Federation nonsense to Dapper being kidnapped to the whole purgatory nonsense to whatever fuckass suit of armor “old friend” was setting up cameras in his house. But it compounds on his regular overly aware paranoid self to this state of hyper-paranoia. And as a demon who can and usually will lie, cheat, steal, and use sneaky underhanded tactics, he expects the craziest extent because he thinks of it, realizes it’s possible, and would use it himself. We saw this very obviously in purgatory - when he thought greens desperate last ditch effort to balance the scale was a super planned out tactic to tip the scale, so he did it first, all the hardcore base hunting, the spawn killing, there’s a reason every other tactic he used usually followed a main channel qsmp post with updated rules - all usually things he was surprised no one else thought of. But then this also piles onto the fact that he has to have things go his way, all the time, and that he’s argumentative as all get out, which led to the debate between him and Bagi yknow. Especially because he’s not just doing it for the sake of being right, he doesn’t think he’s paranoid, but that he’s exercising the right amount of caution.
So like. Listen dude. Yeah he’s got reasons to be paranoid. But his thought process around building vaults for separate cookie caches like they locked up the risus pills, only to scrap it because it’s not perfectly impenetrable, is extreme. His character has hardly been a leading example in someone who has reasonable reactions to things. And even when there isn’t his own children’s livelihoods potentially on the line, he has a need for control, and the most control he has is if he keeps the cookies in his inventory at all times. If he makes himself the sole point in which the others can get ones in a case of emergency, then he can control the variables. The problem is he’s unreliable about himself when he’s at his most rational and healthiest, and he’s far worse with the current memory and health issues he’s been mostly unaware of.
I dunno it’s like. There is never going to be a purely impenetrable base. And it’s not just a case of “Bagi just hasn’t lived through __ yet!”. Bad’s own logic about keeping the cookies on him at all times is flawed under his own logic, because Bagi is right - if someone has enough drive to break into separate secured cookie caches purely for the downfall of eggs, they more than certainly have enough drive to find a way to kill Bad and just take them from his inventory, or to just kill the eggs themselves. All it truly does is give Bad a sense of control, and soothe his paranoia.
#everyone let’s remember rurus’ tweet about bad NOT being in the blunt rotation. he would try to pluck cameras out of your eyes. and he will#make it seem like it’s the most reasonable thing to do in that moment#now this is more me complaining about shit I’ve been seeing on Twitter in the tags <3 love and peace but I’ve got beef#side note - to say the people who are commenting on qBad’s paranoia or this and that are all newcomers who just ‘weren’t there to experienc#-the dark times’ or ‘weren’t there for the egg deaths/nightmares’ like you are not immune to the way bbh can make something seem so#reasonable#he’s got his own reasons to be paranoid. and most everyone agreed that the base idea of a ‘cookie jar’ would need rethinking with security#but to say qBagi (or Jorge’s/other viewers) is shortsighted or naive. when qBad is THE definition of paranoia. of overreacting. like#qBad’s reaction extends from a mixture of care hyper paranoia and trauma response (which is half that hyper paranoia)#and he will pick and pick and pick until there’s nothing left to pick at#sometimes this is helpful. a lot of the time it’s not#and on the flip side it’s like y’all bad cares about the eggs to a ridiculous degree don’t be silly here okay. he does this because he care#even without a memory in his brain he calls them ‘little one’ and is gentle like. he cares#but at the same time this doesn’t always justify his nonsense. his thought processes. he’s Uber hyper paranoid and not easy to reason with#he’s selfish he can and will jump to extremes he’s overly controlling. and he’s the worlds most unreliable narrator#I’ve been saying this I’ll keep saying this he’s an unreliable narrator! this doesn’t make everything he says or thinks bullshit but you#cannot take what he says to himself how he justifies his actions etc etc in private at face value. unless he is making it EXPLICITLY CLEAR#he’s talking from a meta perspective as the creator of his character#you have to take his perspective with a grain of salt. because he will ‘I’m just a little guy and the world is out to get me’ his way outta#everything#there is a difference between reasonable caution from learned past experiences and overly anxious paranoid responses#idk I’m running out of steam sorry this is like a second post with the tags#and again I say this as a huge qBbh enjoyer lmao#mcyt#qsmp#q!bbh#q!bagi#z speaks
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i wish i could just do nothing for a few days straight. maybe even just sleep for a few days straight. sooo excited for constant misery over the next 20 days
ranting in the tags. i would just scroll past if i were you
#i love college.my favorite part is sitting alone on my couch for 4 months straight and getting so freaked out over grades i spend#5 hours straight trying to avoid the urge to bite into my arm so hard i bruise or bash my head into a wall#meanwhile i keep thinking my life is over. i don't have any evidence. for the first time in my life the future isn't predetermined by#other people and now that i don't know what comes next i just constantly get freaked out. it makes me want to claw through my skin#i know something is wrong with me. it's been 5 years. i know it isn't just going to go away; especially given current circumstances#and how it's only been getting worse over time#but i continue to just sit on my couch and do nothing about it. and since i'm not doing anything about it i just feel like i don't have the#right to complain about it even though shit fucking sucks. months of my life at a time just blur together#god. i was genuinely happy last month when i ripped a bunch of booster packs with my mates that i only see over the summer (minus my bestie#and it made me realize just how much everything's blurred together. i hadn't really felt anything lasting + significantly positive#for months before that. that's not normal#god. i've been wanting to go to bed for the last two hours but i just keep sitting here going “um! you need to study. and wash dishes. and”#so i just. don't. which is already bad but i also need to get up early so i can study for my test tomorrow.#god. fucking dreading my lab tomorrow. went to it last week but dipped at the last minute without getting my work checked off#and without submitting it because i got so angry and freaked out and telling myself “man you can just leave” calmed me down instantly#and then at that point i had like nothing done and i didn't want to admit that so i just. left#if i get asked about it i'll just say it was something personal and i panicked. shrug#a part of me is beyond tempted to skip the lab again but i'm not confident in my assignment grades in that class to do so#even though i'll end up with a 5 point bonus on the final grade from taking a survey. but i'll probably go just cause#it's the second to last lab#man i have three whole ass projects due in that class in 10 days. unless my mental state suddenly improves (it won't) i'm gonna end up doin#those the last possible three days#speaking of assignments. we had to do a group project in my bio lab yeah? the methods my group went with sucked and honestly these#people were a little bit frustrating (i get it. gen ed lab at 7:30am. i'm only in it cause i panicked when a different class registration#fell through) since it always felt like they were more interested in getting done than having like. slightly decent work but whatever#but these people? these people asked me to write the conclusion for our presentation. i ask “yeah sure yeah. what did we conclude”#“eh. you can write whatever” ???????????????? HUH???? MATE THAT IS HALF OF THE WORK???????????????????#the shitty sensors and our shitty methods gave us shitty data and YOU PEOPLE CAN'T EVEN SUGGEST WHAT THE CONCLUSION IS????????? fuck me dud#i was already in a poor mood (normal mental illness plus i had found out my uncle died like three days before#like i had talked to him just last month. never had someone i know die before. sucks) but that shit pissed me off
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"bullying works" you sure? bc it kinda makes me think you should lose everything and die and that i wouldn't care/might even laugh when anything bad happens to you ever
#'works' how? bc i promise its a temporary fix to whatever 'problem'#meanwhile the real problem you left unaddressed/acted like it wasnt a problem worth you dealing with is growing out control and might#kill someone so#'bullying works' or it creates spiteful people who are fine with you dying bc clearly you didnt give enough of a fuck about them#and their psychology to prevent them from getting to this point so#and no- that spite doesnt always have to take the form of a school shooter. sometimes its a politician. sometimes its someone withholding#something that would help others out of spite bc they clearly dont give enough of a fuck about the messenger to deserve it.#like fr if my comic could help so many ppl atp i really dont care and the only thing that motivates me to write it is that i might help#animals or the env. yall have burnt me tf out on trying to give af about humans and give the benefit of the doubt a million fucking times#when you just dont fucking deserve it and are shit. i keep my heart open so fucking much and for what? just to have everyone#shit on it. fuck yall. i hope you suffer the more you let me suffer. the more you mock me. the more you dont believe me abt#my fucking trauma and downplay it. fuck all of yall. none of you care about victims of shit and i hope you all die fr.#may you come to understand suffering as i have and maybe then you'll develop an inch of fucking empathy for literally anything that#happens to me you pieces of shits.#anyways no i dont actually think anyone should die its just me talking from my feelings but also i dont feel like i should be policed#about this when its clear the ppl im vaguing about here are fine with me dying and would genuinely take pleasure in it whereas i dont#personally take pleasure in anyones death ever unless its some shitty billionaire trying to seize power or some shit.#and even then its not really pleasure so much as it is a sigh of relief#kinda hard not to FEEL like ppl who are already apathetic about you dying that they should die too#vent
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Fallen london involves collecting a full menagerie so it's very hard for me to not decide my OCs have animal companions.
Grietje has a messenger bat named Malachai— he has tremendous anxiety and takes triple the time to carry messages as he takes any route possible to avoid confrontation. (He gets bullied </3) He's actually a white zee bat Enoch gave her, and feels some calling East... but is just too afraid of the zee to seek it.
Grietje also knows Miserywhiskers. It is a stray cat who has adopted Grietje (It denies affection entirely but keeps coming back). Misery is old and scungy and doesn't get on with other cats (or anyone) but insists on curling up on Grietje's lap and purrs in its sleep.
Enoch does not like animals, except he does. He finds keeping a pet quite contrary to his lifestyle of hedonism/zee death. But one day there was a mutt found on his docked ship, sleeping by weaponry... who he named Gunner. Gunner loves zailing, though Enoch does not fail further than the cost when he's on board. He adores his dog soooo much but is also like "I must not show weakness or it will be used against me" and hides this.
#Mikhail is not into keeping animals unless they gave a use. She gets pets sometimes as gifts from paramours and. Finds a use#Birdie is a tourist and I haven't decided her future fully. She would probably be interested in buying a cool neathly animal#But also she intends to return to the surface and most Neath fauna likely can't.#Their ideal pet... well they'd think owning a goose would be fun as a kolomanian but would not like day to day goose lifestyle#Honestly I am feeling that birdie is an insect or arachnid fan. Maybe lizard. They want something that doesn't need constant care#But instead can be left alone to chill with and just observe. So maybe a terrarium with a cool bug will eventually occur#fl ocs#fallen london
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#o ya.... i finished my last assignment earlier today so like. technically done school#like Done done. im graduating in feb LMAO#well... unless i somehow fail something. guess you never know JDJDJDJDJDMDMXMDN#it just feels weird#bc idk its like the semester never happened NDJNDNMD#like it just feels like i picked up where i left off in the summer except the website i was working on is done.....#ya.. idk. feels really weird#i also get to pick n choose who i see n who i dont from school now XJJDJDDKDKDKDKDK#think.... i defs know who im keeping n who im not..... v sad i didnt see certain things sooner. but what can you do..#personal
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I had to check and the polaroid Olli is holding is actually just Aleksi, but it makes it even better 😭🥺💗

and ooh that AU, why did I get butterflies imagining that 🤧😩 even though I must admit that sounds exactly like the scenarios I think about daily 😭
awwww that's right! I watched that mv quite recently so I should've remembered, but omg 😭 we're gonna take this as a secret, hidden message, right? 😌🥺
idk about you but this week has been crazy busy scenario-wise 😵 like, ever since we learned that Aleksi travelled to Oulu to hang out with Olli I've spent every single day imagining them growing closer and sharing intimate moments and making out in secrecy and freaking out about their feelings and wanting each other so bad and and and !!!!!!! 💞💞💞💞💞💞
#maybe they tried to fight it until they couldn't anymore#and eventually just gave in and started kissing hungrily at the studio late at night#and then janne interrupted them because he had forgotten his phone or something at the studio#and it was awkward for all of them and they barely spoke at all the next day unless it was related to whatever they were working on#but they were dyyyiiiinngggg to resolve the situation (=continue where they left off)#because after they had been interrupted the night before they had just gone straight to bed#and janne senses the tension too and hurries out once they're done (this time making sure he takes all his belongings with him lol)#and for a while they try to explain their behaviour away by claiming they're just stressed out and heartbroken and all that#but in reality they've wanted to do that for years 😭#okay this turned into a whole another scenario lol sorry 😂#i just have a wild imagination and a soft spot for some good ol' mutual pining 😭#it's been a week in the delulu 😩#the olli/allu stans keep winning but at what cost 🤧#sparfloxacin#answered asks#ollixallu
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“Might pass out” (don’t worry I have since consumed sustenance)
Famous words from an idiot that hasn’t eaten in nearly 20 hours. (I’m fine I’m eating. I just passed out after dinner and woke up hungry but 3am is too disruptive to the rest of the house to make myself food. And then I fell back asleep and am only getting up now).
For now sugary coffee to stay upright. Quick shower. Then super looking forward to French toast :)
Anyway should I apply to a job in Montreal? Absolutely not (my French is awful and I can’t afford to move) BUT the music is far more plentiful/accessible there. (Also I couldn’t live there due to smoke and heat) but I want out (DIFFERENT problems!!!) if it weren’t for the fact that their career page hadn’t been updated for 8 years I would probably actually apply though 😬
Wish me luck I guess.
…fuck. And I’m supposed to pay a bill today. But. It’s not due yet and idk if I can or if one of the parents *the people on the property* must be present and mum is too stressed to make that call today… and someone has to be home while the neighbourhood exterminator or whatever we got swindled bandwagoned into joining for a special neighbourhood rare or whatever is here.
If I keep myself too busy to have a proper breakdown… …idk. Dragging myself kicking and screaming to the things that I enjoy doing and whatnot :P
Anyway. I will take suggestions for driving music for today if you have something I really need to listen to 👀 (I’ll be driving at minimum an hour between all the stops I have to make) (otherwise probably idk. Maybe lilyisthatyou all daaaaaaay)
#shatters’ fragments#I’m. it’s. hm#I have to deal with at least drying my laundry for work tomorrow.#I get to pick up paint! maaaaaybe swing by the music store though I kinda want to wait bc then it would be on the next statement period#might make Mac and cheese to bring with me for dinner so I don’t have to spend (as much) when im out tonight#food#and then something something and finding parking#but not too early so that I don’t have to pay as much?#or maybe early enough… no. wait until the work crowd has left.#on the plus side. especially the first intro class. it may not be too expensive to get into boxing maybe once a month…#even if it turns out I’d rather shell out for private. if it’s just occasionally I might be able to swing it…#(unless I’m chased out of there for wanting to do a workout in an N95). also possible.#anyway#also hoping my purple fades more so I can dye my hair blue.#but I may just have to try trimming and bleaching mayhaps idk#can always change my head#especially since it looks like I am not returning to the states even for sleep token.#and part of my armor was to keep feminine hair#even though I’m half convinced I’ll be hate crimed for the mask alone#but ANYWAY#I need to get in the shower#currently I’m on my on repeat and it’s GOOD but also I’m currently in a place where I could pepper in some new stuff too I think rn
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Allowing myself to sit with the realisation that I don't love my brother anymore.
#I walked away from our relationship when he was incredibly rude to me at the breakfast table. On mother's day. when I had shingles in my#*eyeball.* The breakfast that despite the agony of shingles and the pain of the photosensitivity I made 99% by myself. The one he ate.#I was in so much pain but I'd pushed through because it was mother's day and I wanted a nice breakfast for mum because she'd been nursing me#through two weeks of the worst pain and hell I've ever been through. two weeks of pain so bad even thinking about it makes me want to cry.#and he had the fucking AUDACITY to knowingly hit my disrespect trigger that I'd explicitly explained to him and asked him not to hit.#I walked away that day but I thought even though I definitely didn't like him anymore and I had accepted the death of our relationship past#existing as roommates with extra steps I thought I still loved him. I realised yesterday I didn't at work but pushed it away. But now after#watching queer eye with mum I am here. sitting with the realisation that I don't love him anymore. when one of us move out I won't bother#keeping in touch. I unfollowed him on all social media years ago. I still don't think he's noticed. he'll be the shitty brother that I send#The obligatory happy birthday message too and I greet politely at Christmas and family gatherings. but that's it.#It's an. odd thing. to sit with. to accept. to grieve. after 25 years of knowing him. of only ever knowing life with him and loving him.#because he's my brother. because family is so so so important to my family. because we're supposed to love and support each other. but I#genuinely do not think he's noticed. how much I've pulled back. how much on my end we're just roomies. he's my shitty roommate i have to#be polite too. I'm not going to disrespect him back. but I don't care about him. unless we're in the same space for the same reason or it's#about someone else I won't do anymore than basic manners. basic politeness. because i guess he thinks I'll forever be his easy people#pleasing punching bag who's terrified of being left alone. of being unloved. who's scared of I'm too much if i take too much space I'll be#left alone. he doesn't get to see me grow. he doesn't get to be a plant in the garden of my life. not anymore. he has been replanted into a#pot in a corner away from everything else. he doesn't get to control me anymore. if he wants to be a weed fine. he'll be dug up and replaced#with something better. something that makes the garden better. someone. he doesn't get to be in my shade house when he's mint pretending to#be an orchid.
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𝄞 bloodhound
𓍯𓂃 hybrid sylus x female reader
(10k wc) ✦ summary: demanding, old, hostile— just a few of the warnings the man at the local shelter gave you before opening its cage. but it doesn’t matter. so long as he can protect you, all else can be forgiven. yet he’s more wolf than dog. more… man than wolf.
✦ content hybrid! sylus, nsfw/smut, hints of violence (not between mc/sylus), tension, kind of enemies to lovers-? he warms up to mc, knotting & adjusting to it, feral behavior, cunnilingus, slight somnophilia (not detailed), hinted age gap (all parties are 18+), possessive behavior, size difference,
✦ sidenote as by popular demand we have the latest installment of the lads hybrid collection 🙂↕️ i apologize in advance bc even as a wolf-man creature i made sylus older, because yall already know i love me a good ol’ fashioned dilf. dont ask me what bro is in dog years just know he’s scruffy! anyways do enjoy this lil thing while u wait for the caleb fic which i am busting my ass for :] 💕 ALSO sorry. he’s not feline this time… >_< this is def not my fav piece but i hope some of the girlies will like this one :] i did work hard on it it’s quite long. i gave it plot but tbh the smut is straight up filthy 😖 ig all we have left to do is hybrid rafayel! but that boy’s gonna have to wait lol :,) i do hav an idea for him tho ;D
With every step, it feels as if the walls of your apartment are closing in on you.
By your feet, at the front door you hardly have the coordination to close- blundering with the lock- lay a bouquet. Scattered. Flowers strew themselves across your hall as you kick the clasped bunch with the tip of your heel and glide from room to room, warily ducking into each one with your hand braced in front of your body, ready to beat and thrash and fight for your life.
In your other hand- a note. Crumpled, now. Shaking between your fingers.
You don’t think he’s gotten inside again- it seems the new home security measures you installed have thrown a wrench in his plans- for the moment, at least (although your spare key is still missing)- but you’re not wholly convinced you’re safe, either.
And to be clear, it’s better to be that than sorry: You’ll check each and every cranny of your little flat if it means reclaiming your peace of mind.
Your life is a different story though, as of late; threatened yet not something quite as simple to take back. Living with bated breath is no way to exist- neither with the perpetual looks thrown over your shoulder on the short trek back from the bus, the seemingly harmless creaks at night hurling you whole feet from your bed.
Because of that fear, you can hardly even bear to look down at the tiny paper in your hand to read it.
I loved that outfit on you yesterday babe. Can you blame me for taking a little from your wardrobe? ♡
Strangely, though, your drawer is just as you left it when you slide it from its framework almost fast enough to pop its screws, fearing the worst.
Clothes- your tee shirts, blouses for work and lacy bras, pencil skirts- fling across your bed, yet nothing is… amiss.
That outfit from yesterday.
With a gasp, you twist around to look at your hamper, and-
Sure enough, the lid is open.
✦
“-get a few new ones a week. Gets hard to keep up with ‘em all. All the personalities and quirks- a lot of them won’t even eat their kibble unless you look the other way.”
The cold brick walls and all the sounds bouncing off them (grunts, woofs, and nails against tile) become humdrum as the worker, waving a hand as he talks- rants, really- leads you through the pound.
The fluorescence lighting the place flares, whirs overhead. Everything about the setting is harsh. Obviously, you’re in no danger- but as you trail alongside him, you feel a sense of foreboding in your gut all the same. Like you’re walking into a dungeon.
The colorless walls swallowing up most of your vision make that silly threat seem an ounce realer.
You swallow, head on a swivel- yet not for fear, but sympathy as you pass an assortment of fenced-off pets. Some track you with a snarl. Some with eyes that plead. Still, they all share the undeniable tinge of distrust.
What an awful place, you think to yourself.
…But coming here had a purpose.
Your heels clip against the scratched floor and echo in rounds, a certain emptiness existing around you that seems misaligned with all the noise and sights.
Dogs in their cages— some upfront, teething at the metal, others: cowed to their corners, lying on thin blankets not quite as worse for wear.
To sum it up- creatures sapped of will. Defeated in life.
A distinct sorrow weighs in your chest, even as the employee happily drones on, a half-eaten tuna sandwich in one hand (the other: gesturing emphatically), hardly paying you any attention. To be fair, you’re giving him very little as well.
“-I mean, some don’t even eat at all. Picky things.”
Picky? You question quietly. Or without hunger? Their appetite for cheap, bagged kibble robbed right along with their appetite for life.
Your nails dent into your palm as you clench it.
It’s hard to get a word in edgewise as the man chatters away, but you manage to pile down your need to be polite for long enough to get in a:
Hey, excuse me, I asked what kind of dog you’d recommend for prot—
Clack, clack… Clack.
You come to a pause, dead-center in the walkway. The dull rhythm of his shoes remains where yours doesn’t.
“Heh. We got one a couple of months back who thinks this place is his own damn gourmet restaur-“
When he notices you’re not arm-to-arm, he, too, stops.
“Ma’am?” He turns.
“That one,” you breathe, just vaguely registering as the worker sidles up to you and glances at the cage you approach. The glint in your eye wins his interest.
For once since you entered the building, he shuts his mouth.
When he looks at ‘that one’ in question— a silver shock of fur, immersed in a shadow against the far wall— his eyes almost bulge from his skull.
A sharp laugh.
“Ah, little lady. Don’t wanna bite off more than you can chew, now. See-“
As he falls back into drivel (albeit, you lend an ear, curious now), you eye the pooch.
He looks a little wilder than the rest, a little more weathered, tucked to the corner of his cage but not quite ‘cowering’- no, he’s a touch too big and threatening for it to seem that way. More like… brooding.
…Yet you wonder all the same if that’s what he feels, too. Scared like most if not all of the others.
Your chest stirs again with that wisp of sadness.
If you could, you’d clip their collars to a leash and walk them all home, cramming them into your apartment with no thought and all heart. For reasons- countless reasons (having to do with your tiny home and even tinier wallet)- that’s not possible.
In a place as cold and unfortunate as this, he’d have every reason to be frightened, you think, but when your eyes soften with pity at him, his own narrow.
Thoughtfully, you blink.
As the worker rattles off his minor crimes around the playpen- and the hole he eats through their budget, what with his size- you can’t help but marvel at him.
Concerningly massive. With thick, silvery fur matted in certain areas, patchy with scars in others, and eyes that glow an unnatural shade of red- you can wholeheartedly say you’ve never seen the breed before. Less dog-like and more wolfish.
It warrants a raise of the brow, just what he’s doing here. Did he have an owner before? Was he abandoned by them? Or… was he just pulled from the street?
And if so, how many elephant-sized tranquilizer darts did it take to haul him here?
“So,” he says, stuffing his hand in his pockets, “Honestly, Ma’am, he’s probably not what you’re lookin’ for.” Giving your clacking heels and airy sundress a once-over, he sighs.
“We do have a Samoyed though- he was brought in just yesterday. Super playful. Great personality. Domesticated. He definitely won’t be here for long. Uh… this one here, though,” he snickers. “He’s unpredictable at the best of times. Growls when ya feed him- then growls some more ‘cause he’s still hungry... tsk,” he glances down at his hand, then. Evidently, there’s no mark there, but you think he’s imagining one that could’ve been.
“He’s on the older side, too. Can’t teach him any new tricks. And… big, as you can see. With his temperament, he’d probably tear a hole in your apartment. You, uh, you got an apartment, you said-?”
Right now, you should be thankful for all his advice- at the very least, relieved his chatter has become more meaningful, relaying all the pooch’s unruly habits. Yet you tune it all out, slightly cocking your head at the beast dog- a movement that, if you’re not imagining things, his scruffy one mirrors.
“He’s…”
“Yep. Like I said-“
“Perfect,” you breathe, falling to a crouch.
The man beside you coughs on his own spit. “What-? Uh, little lady, I seriously don’t think— hey, watch the hands! Don’t stick ‘em through!”
“-How much?”
You manage to pry your gaze from the ominous thing tucked a number of feet into his prison, cloaked and out of the light, to look up at the man. For all of the warnings and, really, defamation made against the animal— to his defense, he doesn’t lunge. Bark. Claw at the bars or slip his snout through to bite the harmless hand you extend in the space there.
No. With a lift of his whiskers, he watches.
Tuna-sandwich blinks. Eyes widening to twice their original size before he scrubs the lower half of his face.
Eventually, he shrugs. Takes a moment to process it.
As he does, you await the price with a hand already dipping inside your purse. I mean, you hope not to spend a small fortune during this outing- but it’s also an investment worth your while. There’s no saying when your stalker will show his face again. If tomorrow he’ll be waiting under your bed or in your closet for your return- hell, right now, the hackles on your neck are raised as if he could be lurking still.
A word relieves you of worries for naught.
“Nothing.”
…Wait- No, that can’t be right. Nothing? The- your future good boy is worth nothing?
“E-Excuse me?”
He sighs, exasperated. “You’d be doing us a favor,” is all he gives as an explanation. “You can have him for free.”
Dumbfounded, snapping your head back to the cage, you’re met with two crimson eyes that look almost hellish as they catch in the shifting fluorescence- and a pass of surprise on its face that appears almost… human.
“But, are you-“
“Haaaaah. Maybe it’s for the better. You’re like his savior, you know,” he comments, sparing a rather indifferent glance to the animal, “he oughta be thankful for you coming in here.”
And there, fucking again- like a blade wedged between your ribs and twisting—
“Too much longer and we would’a had to put him down.”
A squeeze of your heart.
Jaw fluttering shut, that morsel of information wipes the entirety of your hesitance out. Belatedly, you nod, perching your bag above your hip once more, a sense of determination smoothing out your features.
“When can we get him out of this cage?”
You ask without looking his way.
The sound of keys jingling on a ring has the silver-furred creature perking his left ear ever so slightly- a movement you track with curiosity as the beast’s chest swells in. It’s like he understands. Maybe he does. Maybe he’s seen countless people just like you filter in and out, pass him by, and ultimately land on a different pet to jailbreak take home.
“I can get you sorted right now,” he quips, helpful, “Just… You might wanna back up.”
Weirdly enough- and despite knowing you really should be cautious with a veritable beast from the local shelter, scarred to no end and skulking- all the tiptoeing around him is endearing in its own right.
He’s a good boy, you’re sure of it. Misunderstood, probably, like the rest of the poor, trembling things here— just in need of a nice, loving home and maybe a scritch or two behind the ear. And you’re positive, if nothing else, he’ll do plenty a good job at keeping your stalker at bay.
It takes a handful of minutes to loop the rope (not leash: rope) around his neck- yet the worker treats it as a pleasant surprise, muttering something about how he’s just a whit more cooperative today.
“Thank you,” you chime a bit breathlessly. Sure, your main goal in coming here was to find a suitable guard dog, but you can’t deny the excitement that flutters within as the gate closes to a now-empty cage, your new pet springing free.
Anticipation thrums in your chest as you eagerly accept the rope from him- “careful,” a snigger- and—
The ground beneath you all but gives way.
“Oh, sir- one more thing! What’s his name!”
He stops for a moment to turn halfway over his shoulder. Long, overgrown nails skittering across the floor as the leash tugs harshly and you’re rapidly propelled out the front door, into sunlight.
However, you do catch him shrugging.
“No clue.”
✦
A number of days pass. Those days drag by with an eagerness to get to know each other that seems only one-sided- and a caution on his end that borders uncanniness.
You buy him a fluffy dog bed (the biggest you could find; he’s bigger still). Quality food, not the rubbish they fed him at the pound. And you give him your patience; small, gentle smiles that you’re not entirely sure an animal can understand— but when you offer out your hand for him to smell, a sign that you mean no harm, he growls and retreats to his corner. He chooses one part of your tiny apartment to hunker down in and outright glares when you get too close.
This is your house.
This… was your house. Maybe you’ve bitten off more than you can chew. As a week moves on, you concede to your bedroom or the sofa and watch him with resignation as he watches you back- and contemplate if you made the right choice.
Does he seriously hate you that bad? How can you make him understand that you don’t harbor any bad intentions for him-? I mean, aren’t animals supposed to have that preternatural kind of instinct anyway? to spot malice?
What is he spotting in you?
Curled up on the couch, you hang your hand off the arm and release the new brush you’d bought days ago. It’s seeming more and more like a useless purchase, yet after countless attempts to bathe and brush him- all for naught- it’s only now starting to settle.
Work was long. That one coworker was grating on your nerves more than usual and you could’ve sworn you heard a second pair of footfalls trailing yours after the bus back- but you can only look over your shoulder so many times without attracting the attention of people who start to wonder if you’re batshit crazy.
But you're not crazy. That- That psychopath is, and his countless notes and uninvited visits to your apartment while you’re gone are all proofs of that.
But that’s changed, now. If your dog hates you, he’ll hate an intruder even more.
You sigh, holding your head in your hands as you lean forward. Like a flower wilted, folded in on itself, too heavy with its withering to support its own weight. You rub your temples when you grudgingly glance up to the wolf-sized beast sulking in the corner.
He stares, of course; buttery light twinkling in imposing, ruby eyes in a way that almost makes him seem tame. Mellow.
Not quite.
Still, you can’t bring yourself to dislike him, or regret taking him off the pound’s hands— for all his stubbornness, the hostility he barely conceals, you know all too well that fear manifests itself in strange ways. Like when you almost snarled at your deskmate today for leaning over your shoulder again to review your work- the proximity too startling to handle. You’re irate. On alert. Scared. And it’s making you do unreasonable things as a way to calcify your soft skin into a protective shell. You start to think that you must be hard: the climate calls for it.
The mutt that broods behind your armchair is the picture of ominous- big and bad and threatening long before his lip even curls in warning. Everything about him screams see, look at my scars- my sharp teeth and nails. Don’t touch me. Don’t hurt me.
Your heart stirs.
Tiredly, you offer a small smile. “You are perfect, you know,” folding your leg over the other as you pat the open space of the couch beside you. It can fit four to six people if they cram together, but you know he’d take up the three cushions beside you if he sprawled out entirely.
He regards you with a microscopic flick of his ears. “Even if you don’t like me, that doesn’t change what I think about you. If you just let me give you a bath… I’ll let you sit on the couch, deal? I’m sure it’ll be comfier than what you got now,” you offer, gesturing harmlessly to the dog bed that lays unused by the table— for this reason or that, perhaps just as a way to show you he’s completely rejecting you, he’s avoided it.
Yes, he’s just a tatterdamelion, forgotten animal, operating out of instinct and whatever feels right.
Yes, you still had to mask your hurt over it.
You sigh. “I mean, I haven’t even thought of a name for you yet. And I’m sorry, I just…” Trailing off, you give your head a small shake and stand to your feet. In your mind, with no small amount of discontent, you realize you’ve reached a watershed here— one that separates your old, normal life from a sense of great uncertainty that rests on the horizon.
And you’re terribly concerned. And tired. But God forbid you start venting to a dog about it.
“Nevermind. Goodnight, boy,” you wave your doubts off dismissively, deliberately leaving the lamplight on lest he get scared in the dark. Sometimes, you think you see eyes staring back in it, too, so you put no judgement on him.
Pattering with heavy, sock-clad feet down the hall, “Sleep tight. Just tell me if you hear anything at the door-“
A labored sigh.
Nails clacking behind you— and for one awful second you fear the worst: You’ve turned your back to a beast.
Your breath hitches with the realization, yet as you swiftly spin around- half prepared to bolt or at the very least shield your head with your vulnerable, just as fleshy arms- you’re mistaken.
There, he stands, as a massive silhouette against the living room light angling into the narrow, dim hall. He’s like a bull in a china shop- monstrous, sharp claws etching lines into the lacquer of the maple wood floor, his tail sending fur gusting behind him as it falls. You become clear of two things, then:
One) you must sweep, and soon. And two)
He’s tilting his head- in an uncannily shrewd way- towards the ajar bathroom door beside you, and as he noses it open and stares at you, it’s with expectance.
Oh, and then three—
When you don’t respond right away, he steps around you and impatiently nudges you in- headstrong as ever- through the bathroom door with a throaty huff.
✦
He smells of strawberry shortcake. Vastly sweeter than what he really is, you think with a wry but endeared smile, when you extend a slow, ever-cautious hand to pet.
To your surprise, he lets you.
Call it a truce between you both. A comfier place for him to crash at for a little more peace of mind on your end.
With all the dirt and dried muck lathered out from his coat (it took an hour or so, and patience- as he flung water and stubbornly tried to readjust in the small tub- lots of it), you’re given the chance to finally see the beauty of his breed.
Chalky white fur, soft as the cashmere sweater stowed in your closet on standby for the chilly autumn weeks ahead. His hair is long, perhaps overdue for a trim- not that you’re deluded enough to believe he’d allow a groomer anywhere near him- and easily covers most of the scarring underneath.
Convincing him it was safe to let you clip his nails was an even harder task than getting him in the bath- but he… cooperated. In a looser sense of the word.
None of your limbs are missing. That’s a small miracle in itself. You’re thankful for the little breakthroughs with your new pet, even if it feels like you’re walking uphill all the while.
He hops up on the sofa beside you. True to your word, you allow it, the springs dipping beneath you both as he settles.
If the couch fell through the floor and onto the one below in a mist of crumbled drywall, you’d have no right to be surprised. None at all.
Trying not to show a fraction of your joy as he sets his head on your lap lest that deter him, you bite back a grin and rest a hand on his back. You avoid needless contact with his head- you get the feeling that’s a iffier place for him. You’d respect it, of course. Your show of patience has been nothing less than outstanding in the past week. Now that you’re finally making headway with him (and yes— his letting you bathe and sit with him is headway), you’re encouraged.
Besides…
Unpredictable. The forbidding advice of the shelter employee rings in your head.
Ahem.
It’s late.
Tomorrow, you’ve another long day of work and second-guessing your surroundings and the people in them. Whether or not you’ll be attacked in your own home by your persistent ex-boyfriend who couldn’t stop meddling with your life even if it meant saving his own.
The doubt, momentarily, is pushed to the back burner.
You smooth your hands through his velvety fur. A strange layer of peace drapes itself over you, warming your chest like a fleece as his back rises and falls, your quiet breaths punctuating his own heaving ones.
“You’re a good boy, you know,” you murmur contentedly as you lay your head back and drift off. A crimson set of eyes regards you carefully, peering up through fine, snowy lashes.
From the barrel of his chest, he lets out a deep rumble like he understands. You know he doesn’t.
Half awake, you weave your fingers along him, “You are. You are a good boy,” as if it’s come as an epiphany to you- made realer as it’s spoken.
Before you let sleep take you entirely, you murmur with a ghost of a grin, teasing despite knowing it’s ridiculous because your words aren’t coherent to him- just a swooning, soft sound to bitten ears—
“Hey… I could tell you didn’t really like Cookie, or Sweetie, or Dragonfruit, but… what about…”
A moment passes. Barely, you register his snout lifting from your thigh.
“Sylus.”
Before dozing off, you’re fairly certain- for his sake- you’d left the lamp on that night.
…But when you wake the next morning to your alarm blaring in the room over, all that lights the living space is the sun streaming through the blinds.
✦
You blink and autumn is in full throttle.
You blink and you’re trading your thin sleep shorts out for pajama pants and slippers- layering your work blouses with wooly cardigans.
Days leap over one another like cards of a rolodex— yours, on your cubicle desk: filled with doodles of the unruly pooch waiting at home for you. Idling over him is all that you can do to ease your mind as anxiety gnaws through.
You worry for him when he’s home alone. Not because you heed the warnings you were once given- ‘he’ll tear a hole in your walls’- but because you care for him, and with that brings the inexplicable want to see him as soon as possible.
Of course, he can’t speak, but he shows in his own way that he misses you too when you’re gone.
Once your shift ends, you do as you did the day before. You quickly take the jacket off your wheely chair and gather your things, waving to the select few coworkers who don’t make you want to rip your hair from the root.
Perhaps if you’re quick enough, you’ll even make it off the bus, to your complex, before the sun sets. You appreciate fall for its colors. Not for the darkness it brings far too early to be comfortable with.
Every alley appears with teeth, in those eerily quiet moments when you make the short trek back home. Cars purr beside you on the congested roads, and despite cursing traffic on the ride to your stop, you’re grateful for it now.
At least more people are out; potential buffers to stave off your crazy ex from putting his hands on you…
Potential witnesses if he does.
Damnit. Damnit damnit damnit. Every evening you can’t help but wish you could just- take Sylus with you to work. But for so many reasons that’s just not possible.
Stuffing your hands in your pockets, you breathe out a fine mist and pick up the pace.
You can���t escape dusk from falling- but you can take advantage of the early moments of it right before night comes swinging.
You nervously glance up to the sky, a fiery swatch of orange sat under starry blue, and tell yourself it’s fine.
…It’s fine- and yet you swear on all things holy you can hear boots pacing behind yours—
A gasp. You turn around and get ready to rip your pepper pray from the scabbard that is your pocket- for naught. Emptiness greets you. Sneering and quiet. In the distance, deeper into the city, a car honks. Where you are now though, you’re more or less alone.
You wet your lip where it’s dented from biting. You turn around, and press back on.
It’s okay. You’re almost home. Just a bit further. Within ten minutes you’ll be crooning to your ‘puppy’ and itching behind his ear while he rigidly thumps his tail, closing his eyes indifferently as if he wasn’t hurrying to the door as soon as he heard the lock.
Yes, that’s right. In ten minutes- on the dot (you know because you’re toying with your watch to calm yourself)- you’ll be slipping off your jacket and refilling his water bowl, tossing him scraps as you prepare a nice steak dinner in celebration of your weekend commencing. The fancy wine you’ll pair with it is to help wash it all down and pretend you’re financially better off than you are. Not to help your nerves.
…Even Sylus, the creature who doesn’t understand you even if sometimes it seems he unexplainably does, would be hard-pressed to believe such a feeble lie.
Clack. Clack. Clack.
Your heels. A dull, monotonous rhythm against pavement, one you relish now because it fills the crisp, silent air.
Then-
Tap tap tap.
Your heels- “Hey baby, wait up- where ya going?”- with the sound of another and the bone-chilling revelation that every suspicion you had was grounded—
You don’t even turn around. You don’t reason with, stick up the bird to, or even hastily shout a fuck off, creep, over your shoulder because you’re not sure you have the luxury to.
By the sounds of it, he’s already close.
“Oh no you don’t. Come on, baby, just let me fuckin’ talk to you!”
-Closer and gaining still.
Fear rattles through you. It goes from zero to one hundred in a breath- yet how to breathe becomes a distant memory as your lungs still. The pulse in your throat drums, and suddenly your cardigan isn’t enough to save you from the ice eating you from the inside out- a cold sweat already forming at your nape.
You’re in such a panic you even forget about the spray in your pocket- the assortment of makeshift blades (keys, pens that grow knives when you click them) tucked in your purse. You have a small arsenal in there. Yet your mind spins.
“Stop-! I haven’t even been able to visit you lately because of that fucking asshole- since when you’d get a new boyfriend, baby? Do you really not care about me anymore? I just wanna talk!”
No. No no no- and new boyfriend? What-? All thought is dashed from your brain, his hollers becoming static. No, just ignore him, it doesn’t matter what nonsense he spouts to try and get you back- you won’t so much as glance behind you. After all he’s done to hurt and twist and outright disgrace you and your home, you don’t think he deserves it.
You break into a sprint. The concrete path pushes beneath you. You feel like you’re running in a dream, you’re so terrified- but you do run. You run like hell. You run like a girl.
You fiddle for the key in your purse, shaking as the door opens and you slam it behind you. His hand almost gets stuck in it, the knob jiggling loudly just a millisecond after you lock it.
As the reality of what could’ve been settles, you’re horrified. Cold in the face.
Sylus is there, leaping over to reach you. You wonder if the fury you catch in his wide ruby eyes is your imagination or reality; if he has the inexplicable knowing- based on your frazzled state or the noise- that something is terribly wrong.
“Sylus-“
You breathe with relief, but you don’t linger. You skitter past to the kitchen for a weapon- a real, proper one. A snarl rips from his throat as you leave him behind you, shouts sounding in the hallway behind your door. He barks at it. Ferocious and lupine. Surely not the make of a dog, of a pet meant for four walls and a roof— no, it’s a separate beast entirely.
Hostile, unpredictable, growly- dangerous. Oh, you’ve no choice but to hope all the labels on his package are true. That he’ll rip your ex-boyfriend a new one if he finds a way in.
Hyperventilating, limbs like jelly, you stagger over. In the short span of time it takes you to turn out the kitchen and down the corridor, you contemplate either opening the door and saying go boy, go— or simply staying back to ‘defend.’
You turn the corner and blanche.
Someone’s in your house- not the creeping, painfully familiar face, however, no- and he’s naked.
And then, everything you’d been working so hard to build with your froward pet over the months, the foundation of trust and patience, the hard-earned truce made between you both… As red eyes flash at you in warning, a hand taking the shaking knife from your own before he opens the door— it all shifts.
The bottom falls through.
The man opens the door, and perhaps you should be thankful that he takes the squabble outside because you’re sure that the blood spraying from your ex-boyfriend’s nose as it breaks would be impossible to scrub from your walls.
✦
“Relax,” he grouses with a tsk, “I’m not gonna bite.”
With split knuckles, a long leg crossed over the other where he sits on your couch, canines just a little too sharp as they catch in the lamplight- that’s hard to believe.
The blade he’d taken from your hands lies on the cushion beside him, and while you don’t make a grab for it, you think he sees the way you eye it- and the knife block in the kitchen- as you clench your fist to keep yourself from fainting while you gawk.
“Y-You’re not my dog.”
One of his brows lifts with amusement- or challenge, perhaps- as you deny the truth laid out before you. It’s impossible. Of course it’s impossible. He-
That can’t be Sylus.
For a moment you believe he’ll agree. Nod his head and say, no, I’m not your dog- I’m a person; because that’s certainly how he looks. But he doesn’t.
“I simply changed forms,” he explains. “Not who I am to you.”
With nothing else to say- no real rebuttal- you can only flounder. “N-No. You’re not Sylus.”
That pulls a soft huff from him, “Oh, kitten,” he grins a tenuous grin, “I’m wounded. And here I thought your kindness had no takebacks. You gave me that name, didn’t you? Sylus.” He sighs, a heavy, affected sound- like this is no more than a theater play to him as he adjusts on your sofa.
“I guess I’ll just have to settle for something else, then… Is Dragonfruit still up for grabs?”
D-Dragonfruit? How does he…
The way he looks at you then, with a lift of his chin as he angles his brow in provocation, a smirk only touching half his mouth- makes you freeze. The little hairs on your nape rise.
…Yet he’s just as scarred as your pet, with the silver hair and the gemstone eyes— massive, over six foot tall and muscular- and the air about him is… familiar. Too much to be comfortable with.
“Y-You’re not-“
Before you can splutter out another denial, he sighs and drops the bravado. He spares the weapon beside him a dismissive glance, stretching one arm across the back of the couch.
“Look, if you don’t believe me, that’s your choice. I won’t try to convince you,” he states, “I’ll just let my actions speak for themselves in the course of the next few days.”
…What? The next few days? Does he plan to stay? What- no. No no no! This mysterious, albeit helpful stranger (helpful in the way that he shook your persistent ex from your doorstep- through violent means, of course) can’t seriously think you’ll just let him crash at your place after feeding you such a ridiculous lie. He’s not your dog. He’s- he’s not some werewolf that can shapeshift on a whim- those only exist in fairytales and teenage romance novels.
Not in your tiny apartment.
“N-No. You- you’re crazy. You have to leave. You have to! I’ll- I’ll call the cops!”
Not-Sylus seems unfazed. Perhaps even a little offended at your bluffing: the vehemence is there. But the certainty is not.
Sure, the department wasn’t having your stalker drama- but an intrusion you’re actually witnessing like this can’t be easily ignored. If your crappy ex ends up snitching (you doubt it, what with his involvement)- all the more evidence, right?
He all but rolls his eyes, saying like it’s obvious, perhaps even with a mite of amusement, “I’m on your side, kitten. Don’t get all…” he looks you up and down, and you hate the flutter of your heart that’s more than just fearful— it’s self-conscious. “Hissy now.”
You punch out a scoff of disbelief. “You’re some stranger in my house! Look- I appreciate what you did, okay? I really do,” you start. You have to pause in between to take a breath because God knows you mean the words you say- you’re just inwardly afraid that the fix was only quick, not permanent, and with the sudden disappearance of your dog? Good luck protecting yourself now. Fuck, you don’t even know where he went- maybe he booked it out through the door when you were too distracted by the chaos to notice.
But then… why the hell would he leave? He- He’s never done that until now!
You rub your face and stare at him. The fear lends itself to a distant echo the more you realize you’re no longer in immediate danger. The guy is an unwelcome (and flashy, literally) intruder, yes, one your pooch would waste no time in maiming, but he’s not an active threat... You just have to figure out how to get him to leave.
“But my dog is a dog. Not a human. Not… you.” That you even have to say it out loud is ridiculous.
Even if, the longer you stare, the more you begin to believe it.
The scarred skin, the unmistakable, red eyes, and the somewhat bitten ears- his body weathered from what you suspect to be years of tussling in underground fights (evidently: winning them, not without the cost though)…
And that arrogant little air he carries with him, the one that first endeared you so.
Sylus, it all says.
But no. No- this is insane. Months of being stalked and living like a bug under a microscope have made you worse for wear. Impaired your judgment.
He draws you back to the present with his rumbling voice. “Your dog is more than just some animal,” he huffs. “Don’t tell me after all you’ve experienced with the stalker that you’re… frightened of this side of me? Really? Of all things?” His chuckle is as rich as it is short as he shakes his head.
Frightened? No… that becomes a more distant word. You’re more so stunned than anything else right now as the pieces start to fall in alignment with each other.
“Well, how about this,” he offers at your silence, waving his hand. “Let the week pass. By the end of it, you can decide for yourself if I’m real or truly just a figment of your imagination, sweetheart… You…” he lowers his gaze, then. Uncertain, almost.
“You can even decide if you want me to stay.”
He rubs nothing between his fingers, glancing up again with a pointed brow. “Deal?”
And if you say no? If, on the off chance you’re wrong and you kick him right back to the curb- to a sorry life of abandonment and bloody illegal brawls and God knows what else?
Your mouth wavers. “I- I don’t believe it.”
You do believe it. But it’s crazy.
He almost snorts. “You’d better start. But with that pest taken care of now… I think you’ll catch on quite fast,” he grins. “I’m here for you, kitten. Isn’t that what you wanted me for? Protection? Don’t tell me once I serve my use you’ll throw me out?” He laughs. But then he sighs right after, pursing his lips and looking down to his lap where he makes no effort to adjust the thin blanket that covers his nakedness as it nearly slips.
Headstrong. Cocksure. Bored with his surroundings in a way only mature folk really tend to be. The sage advice of that employee flashes in your mind— ‘he’s on the older side, so naturally he’s a bit grumpy, snippy’; really, you shouldn’t gasp at his temperament but with your current situation it’s a little hard not to when he clips out-
“So? Do we have a deal or not?”
And, well, what’s the harm in giving him your couch for one night?
Or several.
✦
A wintry chill pricks up your neck. Along your arms. Down your limbs where they bundle beneath the covers- to the tips of your toes as you respond with a shiver.
It rattles you in tandem with pleasure.
Upon waking, a few things blitz through your mind too fast to catch. For one, you’ve woken before your alarm- meaning you’ll be miserable in the minutes or hours of consciousness before it actually does go off. Secondly, the bed feels heavier.
…As do your bones.
Third— Sylus is not on the couch like he’s been for the past few months. He’s with you, in the comfort of your own bed, and as the wooly blanket slips down your upper half- leaving you to the cold air- it reveals to you a head between your thighs.
Pried open. One held up for a soft kiss while the other is pinned down— both wet. Sticky with- with you.
You gasp. “Sylus-“
You’ve no time to even rub the sleep from your eyes, big weathered hands anchoring you in place, because he lifts his head from his plate for a millisecond when you try to stop him and does something he hasn’t for months.
He snarls.
“Quiet. I’m eating.”
Protective. Territorial. That isn’t your pussy he eats from, lapping fervently at it as if it wasn’t just a number of hours ago you were hand-feeding him steak cubes from the cutting tray— no, it’s his.
He blocks your hand from interfering when it slips beneath the cover. So when that doesn’t work, you attempt to clamp your legs shut (quavering, you realize, on either side of his lupine face). All your efforts- bogged by sleep and the simple fact that he was leagues stronger- are for naught.
‘Good try’, his eyes seem to tease, though, glittering devilishly at you as his tongue flicks your clit. And then, when you hesitantly lie back and rest a hand in his hair- ‘that’s it, kitten.’
“Good girl,” he practically purrs.
He’s got a big appetite. You’ve known that.
Not as much as you do right now.
“Sylus, wait wait wait,” you moan. Life has thrown so much your way, especially in the past year or so, but you never went belly-up for it. You fought and resisted and squared up.
But right now, half of you almost wants to take him lying down- let him take his fill of you and then pin you down to take some more. Let him have his way with you, whatever that may entail.
But you- You have work tomorrow, and- and responsibilities—
“Hush,” he goes, voice muffled, having some preternatural ability to tell just what you’re thinking. He drifts a hand up your belly to splay over the valley of your breast. Your heart thumps beneath his callous palm like a metronome. Like a ticking clock, counting down the seconds or hours before you need to get up and get ready. Start a day in which you leave home, leave Sylus, and spend the rest of it longing to get back.
“Just take the day off.”
Grudgingly, you lie your head back. It’s… not a great idea, but as your rationale clouds, it seems like your best one.
“O-Okay.”
As a hot, long tongue stripes up your pussy and then his other hand, the one he used to comfort you in his own weird way, slinks downward again- the ceiling becomes too boring to bear.
So you glance down.
He’s handsome as all get out. Really, a couple months ago when he first appeared to you as a human, that was all you could think as days passed and you became grossly aware that you were sharing a confined space with a man. That you had been all along— and your prancing around the apartment half-naked was just one of the countless spectacles he’d seen.
He never pounced, though. Never lunged. Never bit you like a dog or hurt you like a man, even when every bit of his crude exterior screamed hazardous. He was a good boy. And you don’t care what form he takes; he took you as you are, didn’t he? When you were scared of your own shadow and a little snippy because of it. He let you hold the leash to his heart and snarled at anything that came too close- protected you against your piece of crap ex without prompting. Turned your fear into a mellow thing.
Warmth prods at your heart. Loosens your legs up where they clench around his head.
That day at the pound turns in your memory like a spindle.
You could’ve lost him. He- He could’ve been gone forever hadn’t you showed.
…But you did show. For the shitty time you’d been having, Sylus was your one silver lining. You were there for each other as a shoulder to lean on and a hand to hold.
Your fingers tug gently on his scalp. Fruity shampoo breathes out from the blanket when you flip it over his head to allow him better access. Nerves eat you from the inside out. You’ve seen the looks, the hungering glances and felt the fingertips that linger in seemingly innocent touches:
Finally experiencing the culmination of his quiet longing is a whole different game, though.
Slurps ring out from your thighs. Your sighing, candied words- spoken in that ridiculous tone reserved only for him- make his ears perk atop his head.
“Good boy,” you breathe. “Y-You’re perfect.”
He rewards your obedience with a finger, thick and delightful. You gasp and arch your back into his hands- or, his one hand- a throaty moan rippling from his open mouth. The several little muscles in his face go lax when you coyly guide him deeper into your cunt and he melts.
“You taste delicious,” he whispers. “Sweet girl. I can-“ a deep, shivering inhale. Not from you- from him. “I can smell how much you want it…. You’re soaked.”
You mewl his name and almost reach full relaxation ‘til you glance back down and, with the covers off, spot where his other hand disappears. He’s naked- not in the boxer briefs and sweatpants you’d bid him goodnight in- and holds his fat, upright cock in his hand.
And his hand is big. Can dwarf every part of you with its hold.
His cock is somehow bigger.
Your heart leaps from your chest as he eyes you. He’s daunting. Every bit intimidating and then some- especially as you realize he won’t be just content with kitten licking your pussy, delicious as it is, and ending the intimate moment right afterward.
Dogs will always take the bowl if you slide them one: and then look to you later for seconds.
Point is- he’s insatiable.
You shiver as raunchy images flash in your brain— rough fingers pinning back your thighs as he rams inside you, setting a relentless pace as he bites and sucks and claims.
In your imagination, he doesn’t pull out when he comes.
…What really takes your breath is the engorged knot at the base of him, though, flushed an impatient red. Fattening by the second.
Cum- not pre- dribbles from the tip. For how long he’s been at this, you don’t know.
“Sylus-!” You mean to shriek it, but you can only manage a whispering scream. “Wait, wait, wait! what do you have in your hand-!“
A grin plays at his lips. Crooked, recalcitrant.
Challenging.
He’s hardly lucid, what with the delicious heat emanating from the slick lips he stuffs a second finger in, to acknowledge your question, so it’s surprising when he pulls back a centimeter to make an answer. Lust grips him tight— the need to fuck and take and mount— but that concerned, cute little bump in your brow is one he wants to smooth.
It’s the least he can do.
“Take a guess,” he sussurates, licking slowly up your inner thigh. Torturing you. “It’ll be in yours soon though, kitten, so get ready.”
Your eyes bulge from your skull.
His response: a low chuckle paired with a moan.
From that point on, even as he suckles expertly at your puffy clit, working you to a sniveling mess as you scream on his fingers, you’re focused entirely on what he’s doing below the blanket. He palms at himself- it’s all he can do to relieve the ache as he wrestles with his fraying self-control- massaging his balls and knot as they throb.
When he withdraws his digits from you, eyes drooping at the cream coating his knuckles before fluttering back at the taste of it— you lie back down and gulp.
Taking work off today is a good idea. You can already think of a few excuses. Not being able to walk properly is one of them. Being unable to get out of bed… Feeling so sore and feverish after he’s fucked you into pyrexia that you can’t even move an inch without being reminded of it.
He straightens. The cover slips off him entirely and he’s tall. Hulking. Painting you in his shadow- but the moonlight brings out the sheer hunger on his face, and you alight with warmth all over again.
You hope he’s primed you. You pray he’s done good to prepare you for what’s to come. Because oh, it’s coming. You know that.
“Now,” he heaves, dragging your legs either side of him as he kneels. You can tell he’s not well off, trying to muster a cocksure grin but failing as he perspires at the temple. “To the good part.”
You frown at that, almost- a pang of hurt weaving through the haze of desire and the smell of your musk on his fingers as he licks them clean again, ever thorough. He notes the flicker of your brow with a thoughtful pause and then a sigh, shaking his head as he grabs your jaw and angles his front down.
He chuckles, and you experience a singular flash of softness when he goes, “Oh, so sensitive… Don’t pout. I thoroughly enjoyed the opening too, kitten.”
You’re shaking. Insides molten with the pure want for him to just- to just do something already. There’s no opportunity to come down from your high because you feel his cock bob against your tummy as he sets himself up, and you burn anew.
Oh, you love him. You really do. He’s endearing in all the places he shouldn’t be. He’s charming and strong and willing to fight for you. So you don’t care if he’s a little old and slow on the uptake when it comes to new tricks- territorial and intimidating. He’s yours.
Eyes half open, you lift your hands to trail from his pecs to his firm, scarred belly. With a hiss, he trembles. Catches your wrists and tuts at you a second later, saying, “It’s better to keep those at your side. Once you get me going, I won’t be easy to stop.”
And you’d be half tempted to tease him some more, you know, but fuck if he isn’t massive. And fuck if you aren’t a little scared for it.
So you clutch the sheets as he drives himself inside with a grunt, and settle below him. You trust he’ll take care of you.
The entrance is, at first, surprisingly smooth, what with the natural lube you’ve provided for him. You let him lift your ass and bend you into a bow-shaped thing so he can hit deeper- and that’s when there’s some turbulence.
Your fingers curl into the cotton fabric. You brace and wait for the sting to subside. When you realize your eyes are clamped shut, though, you open them to see his expression and pall at the sight of him.
He’s gorgeous. Even when he looks like he’s ready to sneeze- brow scrunched and jaw slack as he dragoons himself inside, tormentingly slow- he’s nothing less than charming through your lens. But you’re thankful for the time he gives you to adjust because you need it.
Frankly, if he intends to put his knot inside— and he fucking won’t, there’s just no way— the walls of your pussy need the patience on his end.
For several seconds, Sylus does not breathe. You’re sizzling hot; when he eventually bottoms out, he can’t tell where he starts and you end- all he knows is that it’s gooey and warm and so fucking tight his balls throb. He deliquesces between your thighs. You welcome him, your body like a landing pad.
He supposes, right then, you’ve always been very hospitable.
Sylus curses. “Ngh, you’re tight... Loosen up,” he presses his forehead to yours and hisses out through his teeth. His eyes glitter like rhodolite in the dark. Reverent hands run down your side and clasp your hip. With your slick still coating his lips- tangy sweet, you find, as he presses them to yours- you realize he’s worshipful. The moonlight pouring in the blinds makes his silhouette glow a true blue.
“You’re perfect,” he murmurs, swiping over your bottom lip with his tongue. “Sweet, and soft. And a very good girl. I’ve got your back. You know that, don’t you?” Then, he draws his hips back and—
Your little bed judders. But the squeak that sounds out is yours as he ruts back inside and your labia brushes with his knot.
He won’t put it inside. He won’t. You’re sure of it. Mutts only do that when they’re mating. Mutts only do that. Sylus is- is so much more than that, and….
“Mmm,” an uncontrollable moan escapes you as he begins to move, like really move, and your eyes roll.
With some difficulty, he continues. “You’re naive. Plucking something like me from its cage. But I admire your bravery, kitten, so— f- uck— let me just show you, hm? How far my loyalty goes?”
Void of words, you nod.
The reindeer-patterned bedsheets aren’t enough. Your hands leave them in favor of Sylus, grasping around his back so tight your fingertips can make out the raised scars there. Planes of muscle flexing with divots with every thrust forward.
Offhandedly, he hits that sweet spot inside you. Your nails dig in by accident, and you say his name, stringing out the syllables in a delightful, dizzying mewl.
The floodgates- they burst open. Something in him gives.
He rams forward, abandoning his restraint altogether as his furry, salt-and-peppered tail whacks the mattress beneath you. That fat swell below his cock teases at your sweltering hole with every pump inside, and Sylus burrows his nose into your sweaty neck to whimper.
You’ve never heard such a noise escape him before. Huffs, grumbles, long, exaggerated sighs he makes whenever he finds a nice spot to lay down (usually on you), as if he pays the rent around here— but never that.
He whines, words strained, “Think you can take my knot? Hah… Nod your head for me, kitten- because I don’t think that I can stop it. I can’t wait any longer. I need you to…” he shudders, “take it.”
One moment you’re nervously glancing down to monitor him- and the next he’s nudging your head back with his nose before crashing his lips to yours. Your eyes widen when he flips you over, presses his chest to your back, and thrusts inside with vigor.
With the new angle, you stretch around him with a mewl, but every bone in your body locks when his hips slam flush to your ass and—
His knot pops inside with a gasp.
Throwing your hands to the strong ones he latches around your midriff, you wail. He clings to you like a limpet, his thighs trembling behind yours as he moans endlessly in your ear. Pointed teeth graze at the nape of your neck. He doesn’t bite- but amidst the warp of pain and a pleasure so intense it gives you vertigo, you distantly realize that he probably wants to.
He holds himself off. Breath hitching as his pelvis claps into you. Euphoria rolls across him, shocks him like a static bolt, every fiber of his being awash with it as his jaw falls open and he succumbs to you.
When he comes, it’s so hard his ears ring.
The walls of your pussy become less hospitable, then, clenching around him so tight as you both cum that for a moment, he can’t even say a word to ease you. He aches inside you- you can feel it. The girth of him twitching as your heat swallows him up with a spasm. His knot takes all thought from your brain. Stuffed inside your poor hole, tumid and veiny.
You feel him coalesce with you, too. Eagerly rutting his seed inside (ensuring it sticks, you realize when he drops a finger to your folds, checking for leakage), releasing rope after rope of hot cum as you go limp and take it.
You offer up a choked mewl when he kisses at your spine, brushing your hair aside just to access your neck where he licks and sucks. You trust Sylus not to get carried away with a bite if he did, to lose out to what he’s been taught.
Evidently, he doesn’t trust himself.
Your fingers dig into his thick, scarred forearm and he sighs behind you- a long, feeble sound. He’s barely able to keep himself draped over you- let alone support your own position beneath him, what with the soup you’ve made of his brain- but he manages.
Silence sprawls out as you attempt to steady your breaths. All that comes in between it is the occasional, wet squelch and the gusting inhales he takes at the column of your neck.
“It… hurts. So good…” he hisses after several beats. Only marginally brought back to reality, you flutter your eyes open and offer a yip back. “You’re doing so well, though… Just-“ He twitches inside you, then, throbbing like a second pulse point, his cock undulating in your walls, greedily taking up all the space.
“Fuck. Stay still, sweet girl,” he grunts, harebrained. His eyes crinkle and close. “I want it all inside. Don’t wanna see so much as a drop escape that perfect, tight pussy. Hah- you hear me?”
“Y-Yes,” you quiver back. Speaking is too difficult, you realize a second later, shoving your open mouth into the pillow as you pant for air.
Yet, you can’t help but ask with a slur, “Sylus- when- when will it be over?”
He moans, right in your ear. Goosebumps run up your naked body- all that clothes you.
“It’s too big,” you cry.
“No,” he quips. “It’s just right.”
As if on cue, your cunt gives another squeeze around him, milking him for all he’s worth. In response, he bows his forehead into the crook your shoulder and jaw make to bury a whine, and your mind spins when you register his balls, hanging fat against your ass, lurching. And oh, you’re spilling, you can feel it, beginning to ooze profusely from your puffy lips even as he keeps it plugged; really, even if Sylus wanted to separate from you (he doesn’t), he couldn’t.
There’s nothing in him that wants the distance. The idea of self-autonomy. The idea of independence. No- he’s all yours.
“We’ll wait it out,” he breathes. Coasting a hand along your belly in an effort to placate you. He knows it can’t be easy for you. But the world— that stupid, irksome ex-boyfriend of yours— needs to understand where your heart belongs. There’s no better way to show that than to demonstrate it first with the body.
And you—
(Bitten by his branding kiss, supple skin covered with the divots of his teeth, your belly full of his veritable seed-)
Well. Nobody should look at you, he decides in his spirit right then, and come to any other conclusion but the one that you’re his.
Unmistakably, irrevocably, his.
“It’ll subside soon enough,” he soothes with a peck to your throat, a surprisingly chaste move. He loops his arms around your waist again and carefully- mindful not to exacerbate the heady ache- maneuvers on his side, pulling your back to his front. He whispers at your ear, “So long as you don’t move or stir me up, we’ll be fine.”
Yet, a set of canines brush at your jugular, and again- there’s that inkling, this time in better clarity, that passes your conscience. You know he wants to bite. To mark. To claim. You know it and have the vague idea of all it entails, yet he… won’t.
With a frown, cursing as you turn ever so slightly and his fat knot shifts inside you, you hazily meet his eyes.
His are practically glowing, laying heavy on you. Charting across your face the moment they make contact, observing every brief flicker of your expression to try and assign a feeling— happiness, he hopes, contentedness— to it. His lashes totter and you burn with shame when a lewd suck rings between your legs, his cock wet all the way down to the slight plush of his abdomen.
You don’t mean to pout, “why won’t you-“
“Not yet, Kitten,” he scolds. Trying to swallow down a pit of self-consciousness in your throat, you murmur, “What, do you not want me?” Sylus huffs as if offended. His eyes drag from your lips to your searching eyes.
“Really, kitten? …What, should I give you an equally stupid answer?”
Oh, you’d tug his tail if you had the luxury of moving right now-
“Of course I want you. Can’t you tell?” He sighs, then, burrowing his nose into your neck almost to hide. His ears droop along his head, donning a relaxed look.
“So. Did you like it..?”
“Y-Yeah…” you murmur, carefully looping a hand back to stroke behind his fuzzy ears. “But, I just… I thought you’d really do it, I thought you’d really tie us together-“
He chuckles richly. “We’re already tied together, kitten,” peppering another kiss below your jaw, licking appreciatively at the sweat that clings to soft skin. “I’ve belonged to you for some time now, haven’t I?”
Your heart skips a beat when you realize he’s right.
“I- I guess so. Yeah.”
“So no more whining,” he lifts his chin to sample your lips, this time- his knot still throbbing white-hot and insistently inside you (albeit the ache is lessening)- eyes lidded as he conveys his affections.
“I’ll do it when we’re both ready. When…” He pauses to swallow.
In that short frame of time before he next speaks, you’re drawn to all his scarring. The faded ligature marks around his neck, the seemingly permanent gnashes along his body (which was a touch too lean before you familiarized him with good food). The nip taken from one of the ears sat atop his silvery, mussed locks. In that moment, you don’t see the misshapen, loveless thing he was beaten into— but rather the softness he worked to regain for you.
“When I know it’s manageable.”
If he feels unsure of himself- whether he can remain… civil, for lack of a better word, amidst the fervent haze that a mark would bring about— then you suppose you could wait for a bit longer.
“Okay,” you murmur with a faint, understanding smile, caressing one half of his face dotingly. You tilt your head slightly to plant a firm, benevolent kiss to the corner of his mouth.
“But you’ll always be a good boy to me, okay? I trust you. I told you before- you’re perfect-“ Rather roughly, he noses your head back into the pillow, readjusting his iron hold around you as he grumbles into your hair.
“…Hush. Now close your eyes and go back to bed. I’ll tell you when it’s ready to pull out.”
𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔, 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔, + 𝒓𝒆𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 ♡
#sylus#sylus love and deepspace#sylus smut#love and deepspace smut#lads#lads smut#sylus x reader smut#sylus x mc#sylus x you#sylus x reader#sylus qin#hybrid#syluses#‧₊ 🍰.┊𝒄𝒂𝒌𝒆𝑓𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛#i feel like i hate this#but at the same time…#hard to hate sylus knot idk
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