#ketchup and two muffins

[fadingdaggerr]

hello! i was wondering if you could write a melissa/reader fic where r unknowingly makes mel very nervous/blush, and after a while melissa starts to become very protective of r until melissa is a big blushing mess and just needs to have her girl 🫶 or whatever u want to take from this, big fan of your work!! mwah 🧛🏻‍♀️🦇

amaranthine

pairing: melissa schemmenti x gn!reader

summary: request above <3 | 2.3k

includes: literally just fluff, tooth rotting fluff, soft!melissa, established but new relationship, light making out

note: sol posting two fics in a month? what is this? no but seriously i got an inspo boost since abbott is back in like 2 weeks so i was rewatching and “get the cameras outta my face before i give you colonoscopy with it” is still top 3 melissa lines (from attack ad)

“You really ate that and have the gall, the gumption to call it food?” Barbara says, baffled by the story you told her as you both were making your coffee. Somehow on the walk in, the conversation had gone from the muffin you got on your way to work, to the topic of childhood lunches.

You laugh, “listen, bologna and ketchup was the only consistent thing I ate until, like, middle school.”

“And you enjoyed that?” she says with a shocked face and what you guess is minor disgust from her downturned lips. You nod in response with a little mhm and Barbara’s hand comes up to hide your face from her line of sight, turning away so as to not laugh right at you. She’s nothing if not polite. Her reaction only makes you laugh more.

You both sober up as you hear the door opening, and there’s equal gratefulness for it being Melissa that enters the room. Your eyes flick over her quickly, taking in her pink top you don’t think you’ve seen before and black leather pants that you’ve certainly never forgotten her wearing. Her eyeliner is perfect, but it doesn’t hide the darker circles under her eyes, the folders in her bag telling you stayed up late to grade assignments.

Barbara greets her while you silently step away to the cabinet, grabbing an orange mug out. You know exactly how she takes her coffee, at least how she takes the bitter lounge coffee, with a sugar and a hefty pour of milk, only the one percent though. Just as she finishes unpacking her stuff and sits down to keep talking with Barb, you return to your spot across from her.

Her eyes move to you, watching you test the coffee with a small sip off the edge. You think a moment before pushing the mug over to her, a tiny smile crossing your lips. She raises a brow, taking a small sip of her own to test it. “It’s perfect, hon, thank you,” she says, just a little ruffled that you pay attention enough to get her coffee right and that she’d never gotten her coffee to taste this good.

“Anything for you,” is your earnest response. With the smile still on your lips, you send a wink her way before your attention is stolen by more people filtering into the room. As you chat over your shoulder with Gregory, Melissa faces her lap, desperate to get rid of the blush that painted her cheeks at the ease of your attention and words.

She decides to stay a little quieter, listening to the conversation Barbara is having with Janine, sipping on her coffee that she was holding close to her chest. There’s a prickly feeling on the side of her face, and when she turns she finds your eyes on her. They flick from her eyes to her shirt, scanning her the sleeves and stitching, and she has to pretend she didn’t notice the barely lingering look at her chest.

“New shirt?” you ask when your eyes meet hers.

She takes in a deep breath, “yeah, just got it yesterday. D’ya not like it or something?”

“What? No, Mel,” you said, “you look beautiful. As always.”

There’s not enough time for her to hide before her cheeks are an even brighter shade of pink than her shirt, eyes blinking rapidly. Melissa prays that Barbara didn't just hear you say those words, let alone see her reaction to them. Whatever this was between you two, it’s new and fragile and not fully defined, and you both agreed you don’t want to let anyone in just yet.

—☽—

Melissa has become attuned to you. She knows when you’re around well before she sees you, always able to sense your presence. If it was because she was always looking for you, she’d never admit it.

With soft steps knowing it’s a quiet time in her room, you approach her classroom as a stop on your way to the lounge for popcorn. Stopping in her doorway, she immediately turns and looks at you. Eyes widening at the immediate attention, you give her a little wave.

“Alright little eagles, I’m gonna be in the hall. Youse better stay on your best behavior,” she says as she stands up from the desk, making an ‘I’m-watching-you’ motion. Joining you in the hall with a little smile on her face, she leans against the wall.

“You didn’t have to leave your class,” you say as you match her position, leaning into her space just a little.

Her smile grows a bit, “then why’d you stop by?”

“Just wanted to see you, that’s all. But getting you to talk to you is definitely a bonus,” you answer, the grin on your face stretching as you look at her while you speak.

That wasn’t the answer she was expecting, not that she really knew what she thought you’d say. Licking her lips, she ducks her head and shakes it, but only for a second. Looking back up at you, she manages to say, “you just came to stare at me then?”

“I prefer the word ‘admire,’ but same-difference.”

“Yeah, right,” she says with a little scoff, trying hard to keep from allowing the heat to creep up her neck.

You mock her a little scoff with a smirk as you push off the wall, about to start back on your journey. “Whatever you say, gorgeous,” you say before turning away. Your turn stutters as you come back around, fingers raising to her necklace to fix the chain so the clip was at the back of her neck. You mumble a barely audible there we go before you turn around and continue on your way.

Melissa is frozen in place for a moment, hand raising to her neck, tracing the spot your hand ran against. A thankful thought passed her mind that the hall was empty, not even a doc camera around. She was not above threatening them to delete the footage or smashing the camera that caught her flustered and dazed from your affection.

—☽—

At lunch, she has to refrain from looking at you, knowing that if she even dared to, that her cheeks would be as red as the firetrucks she adores. Thinking instead that she didn’t want to talk at the moment, you were conversing with Jacob about a movie he watched over the weekend and was dying to share it with someone. Admittedly, Melissa was half listening, really only to hear your voice.

There was a slight snicker from the couches, a sort of snicker that peaked Melissa’s attention. She sees Mr. Morton and another eighth-grade teacher peering at yours and Jacob’s direction, clearly listening to your conversation and finding it humorous. Focusing her ears, she hears mumbles of lame as hell and great, another freak. Her brows furrow and fists clench, Barbara quickly notices her friend’s change in mood and gives her a questioning gaze that Melissa ignores.

“Aye,” Melissa pipes up, the whole room goes silent. Her eyes stay on Morton and what’s-her-face as she menacingly says, “watch your mouth or I watch it for you. Got it?” The only response either one gives her is a fast nod before averting their eyes, frozen in place from fear. 

When Melissa’s glare finally leaves them, everyone else’s eyes drop to avoid being next, except for yours and Barbara’s.

“What was that for?” Barbara speaks quietly so only the three of you at the table can hear.

“Nothing, Barb. Just didn’t like what they were saying is all,” she answers, purposefully keeping her eyes off both of you.

Your hand goes to her arm in an attempt to comfort her a bit, thumb caressing her skin, “what were they saying?”

Melissa desperately tries to ignore her rapid heart, “it was nothing, hon. Don’t worry about it.” Unable to resist a little bit of extra contact, she pats your hand reassuringly. Neither of you notice Barbara’s eyebrows fly up in surprise at the outward affection you both displayed.

When lunch ended, Barbara went back to her classroom to do her lesson on the changing seasons, and you and Melissa both had prep periods while your students went off to recess and their extra activities. Taking the extra time you rarely got to have together during the work day, you spent the majority of the hour grading next to each other. Little smiles and checking in made you both ditch the grading altogether, just enjoying each other's company.

“If I invited you over for dinner tonight, what would you say to that?” she asks with a coy smile.

“I’d say I’d love to have dinner with you,” you reply with a tad of shyness, playing with the rings on her hand you were holding in your lap. 

“Six work for you?”

“I’ll be there, on the dot.”

Your phone buzzes on the table next to you, making you flinch at the sudden intrusion. She heard you mumble shit under your breath, before you stand and hurriedly collect your things. Double checking that you had everything, you let out a deep breath. 

Without much thought, you lean down and press a soft kiss to her cheek, “I’ll see you later.” Before she can  respond you’re rushing out of the room to get your kids from art class.

Melissa’s head drops to her desk and grumbles, “gonna be the death of me, that one.”

—☽—

In her kitchen, you’d found that your favorite spot was sitting on the counter next to her. She let you ‘help’ by letting you add the seasonings, but wouldn’t let you near much else. You were content to look at her while she worked in her element, an ease and happiness in her movements that you delight in.

With just having to wait for the vegetables to cook down a bit, she turns to you and leans in close, arm brushing your thigh. You bite your lip, trying to suppress a smile, and raise your hand to brush hair out of her face. Your hand slides from behind her ear to cup her jaw, thumb stroking her cheek.

“You’re so pretty, you know?”

She doesn’t respond. Instead she leans into you, her hands moving from the counter to your thighs. Pink lips brush against yours, a silent question. This was all she’s been wanting since you two snuck away Friday as everyone left school, where she left you breathless in your empty classroom. The answer she gets is your lips pressing into her, soft and slow, savoring the taste of her. Melissa barely holds back a whine at the feeling of your lips on hers, she never thought she could miss a feeling so much, but a weekend apart from you had her craving your touch. Your tongue traces against her bottom lip, begging for entry, and she’s quick to grant it.

Unlike her, you don’t hold in a groan at the feeling of her mouth on yours. Your hands travel into her hair, lightly tugging her closer. The sensation has her hands gripping your thighs, using them to pull you into her. You feel a certain desperation in her kiss that allows you to take the lead easily, sucking her bottom lip between your teeth and biting gently before kissing her softer to make it better. Your legs wrap around her as you slow your lips, wanting her close as possible.

As you pull away, she pushes back in to catch your lips again for just a second. Her hands on your thighs are making it incredibly hard for you to focus on your already struggling breathing. There’s a muted moan from her as your fingers scratch her scalp, pulling gently as her soft hair.

“You’re trouble, you know?” she murmurs breathlessly, mirroring your previous question.

You smile as you rest your head against the cupboard behind you, still holding her face as you ask, “how so?”

“All you’re staring and flirting, you know exactly what I’m talking about,” she responds like it’s obvious.

“Again, I was admiring, not staring. And when was I flirting?” Your tone and the look on your face makes the redhead realize that you truly weren’t aware of the effect you were having on her. 

Her hands slide up to your waist, your shirt raising just enough for her pinkies to brush your skin. The goosebumps that develop under her touch makes her heart skip a beat, loving that she had a similar effect on you. When she doesn’t answer you right away, you angle her face to bring her attention back to you, silently asking your question again with your eyes.

Melissa sighs, “saying you’d do ‘anything’ for me, calling me beautiful and pretty. You’re a flirt.” 

“Those are just all true, not really flirting. I would do anything for you and you are very beautiful and very pretty,” you say, smiling. The heat in her cheeks spread to your hands, the warmth spreading to your heart. She tries to duck away but you’re faster, pulling her closer just barely to press a soft kiss to the corner of her lips.

She wants to respond, but no words form under your gaze. Your eyes avert from hers and she finds hers following where yours go. Suddenly the simmering of the vegetables in the pot reaches her ears, reminding her that there was a world outside your eyes and lips. Your hands drop from her face, letting her go to check on the food you can’t touch. She just squeezes your hips before letting go.

You’ll still be there when she gets back.

feedback appreciated as always <3

title means something that is ‘undying or everlasting’

[silent-raven13]

Let's prank them!

Miles sat next to his boyfriend, the two chilling at HQ after a mission they finished together. He had a thought, "You know, what!"

Hobie being busy playing his guitar while his boyfriend lay on his shoulder, "What is it, darling?"

"Gwen and Pav always play tricks or pranks on us. Why don't we do it to them?" Miles asked, with his doe eyes on his lover.

"You're right. Hmmm, what do you have in mind, Sunflower?" The nineteen year old punker asked.

Miles tap his chin then grins widely, "I know!" The eighteen year old went to whisper in his boyfriends' ear, who started to grin from ear to ear.

"Darling, that's barmy! I love it." Hobie said hearing his boyfriend giggling.

Later Gwen and Pav were having their lunch while talking about the latest mission. Miles caught them with his own tray, "Hey guys! Been awhile since we had lunch together? Mind if I sit here?"

"Sure, dude!" Gwen opens a seat for him, "Sit here, man! Yeah, my home world been kicking my ass."

"Mines too!" Pav groans, "Ugh, so many things going on. I just needed a breather!"

"Same!" Ghost-spider nodded.

"So how was you and Hobie? You guys aren't busy?" Pav asked.

"We're fine. We do have a hard time seeing each other, before we would visit each other all the time." Miles explained as he opens his ketchup packets for his fries and burger, "and now we see each other once a week if we get lucky."

"Awe, man. That sucks!" Gwen said out loud.

"Yeah, I miss my pookie." Miles cutely pout.

Pav and Gwen look at each other confused. What? "Pookie...?" They asked.

Miles nodded, "Yeah, my pookie bear!"

"Pookie bear..." Pav tilting his head, "What is a pookie bear?"

"Is that Hobie's new nickname?" Gwen didn't like it, sounded too mushy and cutesy for her.

"Yup, my pookie bear! I miss him so much." He sighs dramatically, "We rarely see each other."

"Darling, there you are!" Hobie lift his boyfriend's chin up standing behind him.

The eighteen year old happily gasps, "Pookie!"

"Yes, your Pookie Wookie is here. Sit on daddy's lap, luv." Hobie casually said as he sat next to Miles. Then, he pick up his boyfriend to sit on his lap.

"Pookie Wookie?" Gwen slowly asked almost being grossed out by this weird lovey dovey thing those two were doing. "What the hell is a pookie wookie?"

"Is it those little bears from Star Wars?" Pav asked out loud, he winced when Miles and Hobie pressed their foreheads together while muttering cute things to each other. "Awe, that's so cute and so not uncomfortable to watch!"

"I love you, baby." Miles nose rub against his boyfriend.

"No, I love you, luv." Hobie kisses Miles' nose.

"No, I love you." Miles giggles.

Gwen could only look at them being weirded out, "Uhhh, do you know we're here, right?"

"No your so cute."

"No you, darling."

"No you. Gimmie a kiss, pookie bear!" Miles wrap his arms around Hobie's neck.

"Like this." Hobie kisses Miles.

"Yeah." Miles giggles again. They give multiple pecks.

Not only Pav and Gwen were weirded out by this, but some Spider-heroes passing by them had to slowly walk by looking so confused at the two. The sight of mushy gooey flirting got some of them uncomfortable.

"My cutest pookie!" Miles hums, "Your so cute! I miss you!"

"I miss you, too!"

They kept kissing trying to hold in their laughter. They didn't dare to look at their friends, knowing they were disgusted by this sight. It's just too funny. "You're my cutie patootie!" Miles began.

"You're my pookie." Hobie grins widely.

Pav stood horrified by the display, it's too cute for his liking. The kissing and holding each other was too much. Gwen tries to pretend to eat but the pet names got worst.

"You're my snookums! My stud muffin." Miles said.

"You're my Sweetheart, my honey butter biscuit!"

"Your my lover boy!"

They began doing kisses while snuggling each other. "Mwah. Mwah! Mwah!" They nose kiss.

Gwen had enough, "Okay! That's it, my lunch is ruined! You guys, stop!"

"Yeah, I'm getting very uncomfortable!" Pav admits trying to avoid their looks. "All this pookie and kissing is being too much!"

"Yeah, what's up with you two? You guys, never acted like-" Gwen's blue eyes squint seeing their faces holding in their laughter. "You assholes! This was a prank!"

"Come on, it was only fair!" Miles chuckles.

Hobie laughs, "You should've seen both your faces!"

"What? So all that was a prank!" Pav took a moment and said, "Touché."

"Serve you two right for always pranking us!" Miles wraps his arms around his boyfriend, "We thought this will teach ya,"

"Oh and the Spider-heroes around us too?" Gwen asked.

"As long as you two were weirded out." Miles grins widely then turn to Hobie, "Right, pookie!"

"Right." Hobie chuckles, "I'm actually like that."

"You do!" Pav asked out loud. "It's such a... gross nickname!"

Miles looks at his boyfriend's eyes, "I like it, too. But I like calling you, my stud muffin."

This time they were being serious. "You like it when I called you, my honey butter biscuit." Hobie purrs lowly.

"Huh uh!" Miles tackles him into a deep kissing.

"Oh brother, here they go again!" Gwen scoff.

"Should we leave them?" Pav asked.

"Yes!" The two got up to eat lunch somewhere else

Miles and Hobie being busy in their deep tongue kissing while Spider-heroes around the couple were looking at them. They had a mixture of being weirded out and surprised. Miguel was called over to give Miles and Hobie a lecture about public decency.

[artemisarticles]

Getting Started

Clear the decks. Take everything out of your pantry, give it a hard look and decide what you can get rid of. Be ruthless. If you haven’t used it in a year, get rid of it.

Keep what looks and smells good. “Expiration,” “sell by,” and “best by” dates are not good guidelines. Some are determined by regulators, others by manufacturers, and almost all are arbitrary. Properly stored, some (unopened) ingredients, like canned fish, can last for years; others, like dried herbs, start declining in quality the moment they are sealed in a container.

Assess what remains. Then organize it according to the logic that makes sense to you: There’s no single best system. Your nut butters might be with the condiments, or the breakfast items, or the baking supplies.

Fill in the blanks with food that will make you a better cook. Each of the pantry lists below is a proposal, not a prescription. There’s no reason to stock black beans if you only like red. There’s no need to have everything here available at all times. You’ll know your pantry is well stocked for your purposes when most of the time, you need only add one or two fresh ingredients to cook one of our recipes from scratch. Or even better, none.

The Essential Pantry

The foundation layer for all three pantries, this is where everyone should start. There’s so much to be done with these basics. The rule here is stock your pantry mostly with what you’re confident using, and what you love to eat. You’ll turn to it again and again.

Oils and vinegars: Extra-virgin olive oil, neutral cooking oil (such as canola or grapeseed), red-wine vinegar, white vinegar or white-wine vinegar.

Cans and jars: Tuna in olive oil, tomato paste, diced tomatoes, tomato sauce, chicken stock or vegetable stock (box-packed tastes better than canned). A good-tasting, simple tomato sauce can become a soup or a stew, or make a quick dinner with pasta or polenta.

Spices and dried herbs: Kosher salt, red-pepper flakes, ground cayenne, curry powder, bay leaves, black peppercorns, sweet paprika, ground cinnamon, ground cumin, garlic powder or granulated garlic, dried thyme and dried oregano. This selection will take you through everything from a basic beef stew to Saturday morning pancakes to Thanksgiving dinner.

Grains and starches: Long-grain white rice, one or two other grains (such as quinoa or farro), dry pasta (one long, one short and chunky), plain bread crumbs, crackers, canned beans (white beans, black beans and-or chickpeas), dry lentils.

Nuts and nut butters: Walnuts, almonds, roasted peanuts, peanut butter (smooth and crunchy).

Sweeteners: Honey, maple syrup, granulated sugar.

Preserves and pickles: Fruit jams and preserves, anchovies.

Condiments and sauces: Basic vinaigrette, mustard (yellow or Dijon), mayonnaise, ketchup, hot sauce, salsa, soy sauce.

Produce: Garlic, onions, all-purpose potatoes (such as Yukon Gold), lemons, shelf-stable tofu (Essential for vegetarians, Expanded for others).

Dairy: Eggs, unsalted butter, cheeses (Cheddar, Jack or Colby, Parmesan), milk or cream for cooking (not skim).

Freezer: Chicken parts, sausages, thick fish fillets, shrimp, thick-sliced bread (for toast), spinach (and other vegetables such as corn and peas), berries (and other fruit such as peaches and mango). Some fruits and vegetables take particularly well to freezing — and in most growing seasons, the quality is better than fresh. Frozen fruit is useful for baking and smoothies.

Baking: All-purpose flour, cornmeal, rolled oats, cornstarch, baking soda, baking powder, pure vanilla extract, light brown sugar, dark brown sugar, confectioners’ sugar, bittersweet baking chocolate, semisweet chocolate chips, raisins or another dried fruit, cocoa powder. With these ingredients on hand, thousands of cookies, brownies, cakes, muffins, quick breads and other sweets can be produced without a trip to the store.

The Expanded Pantry

For the cook who has a grasp of the basics, but wants to be able to stretch toward new options and flavors. Here, long-lasting, punchy ingredients like tahini, hoisin sauce, coconut milk, sherry vinegar and capers are stocked alongside classics: limes with lemons, jasmine rice as well as long-grain, almond butter in addition to peanut butter.

Oils and vinegars: Peanut oil, coconut oil, sesame oil, sherry or balsamic vinegar, apple-cider vinegar.

Cans and jars: Sardines, unsweetened coconut milk, whole Italian plum tomatoes, beef stock (box-packed tastes better than canned). Whole plum tomatoes are rarely called for in recipes, but they tend to be the ripest and best-quality fruit. They can be diced or crushed to use in a recipe — or drained and slow-roasted for an intense topping on omelets, salads, grain bowls or pizza.

Spices: Flaky salt, single-chile powders (such as ancho and pasilla), ground coriander, turmeric, smoked paprika, cardamom, za’atar, allspice, fennel seeds, dry mustard, garam masala (a basic Indian mix of warm spices), five-spice powder (a basic Chinese mix of spices), whole nutmegs.

Grains and starches: Rice noodles, basmati or jasmine rice, brown rice, panko bread crumbs, dry beans.

Nuts and nut butters: Almond butter, tahini, pecans.

Preserves and pickles: Olives (oil-cured and-or in brine), capers in brine. These ingredients, served with good bread and butter, make an elegant appetizer with wine, or everyday snack.

Condiments and sauces: Worcestershire sauce, hoisin, Thai red curry paste, fish sauce, anchovy paste, harissa.

Produce: Russet potatoes, carrots, celery, limes, ginger, avocados, parsley, cilantro, scallions, jalapeños. Keeping chiles, aromatics and herbs on hand gives you instant access to intensely fresh flavors, even for — maybe especially for — the simplest dishes you cook.

Dairy: Plain full-fat yogurt, more intense cheeses (pecorino, feta), salted butter.

Freezer: Pancetta, artichoke hearts, homemade stock, homemade bread crumbs, fresh pasta, vegetables (cauliflower, broccoli, cut and peeled winter squash, chopped onions), cooked grains. Prepared ingredients like chopped onions and cooked grains speed your route to dinner.

Baking: Cake flour, whole-wheat flour, dark baking chocolate, vanilla beans, almond extract, powdered gelatin, molasses, light corn syrup, buttermilk powder, active dry yeast.

The Expert Pantry

For the cook who likes taking global flavors, new methods and viral recipes for a spin. Here, the chiles get hotter, the chocolates darker and the cheeses funkier. These ingredients are just a fraction of what’s out there, but by stocking them, you will be able to cook almost any recipe you come across and experiment with creating your own.

Spices: Hot smoked paprika (pimentón), sumac, cumin seeds, coriander seeds, flaky dried chiles (such as Aleppo, Urfa or Maras), dried whole chiles (like ancho and arból), marjoram, dukkah, baharat, shichimi. Whether you stock spice mixes like baharat (a mix of warm spices used in the Middle East) or shichimi (a Japanese blend of ground chiles and sesame seeds) will depend on the global flavors that most appeal to you.

Grains and starches: Short-grain rice, dried pastas (bucatini, mezzi rigatoni or farfalle), spelt, pearl barley.

Nuts and nut butters: Pine nuts, hazelnuts, pumpkin seeds (pepitas), pistachios. Toasted nuts like these (not as everyday as almond and peanuts) are good in salads and granola, on roasted fish, or just with olives for a classic pre-dinner snack.

Preserves and pickles: Pickled hot peppers, cornichons, kimchi, preserved lemons, roasted chiles, horseradish, caperberries, dried sausages such as saucisson sec and chorizo. The intense flavors of pickled and salted ingredients can be a great pick-me-up for mild dishes. In cooking, you can often substitute a bit of preserved lemon for regular lemon, or use the brine from cornichons as part of the liquid in a recipe.

Condiments and sauces: Gochujang, mango chutney, miso, wasabi, dark soy sauce, Chinese oyster sauce, Asian chili bean pastes.

Produce: Shallots, fresh mint, fresh rosemary, lemongrass, fresh Serrano and Thai bird chiles, fresh bay leaves.

Dairy: Ghee, crème fraîche, aged cheeses (Gruyère, blue cheese). Ghee (Indian-style clarified butter) and crème fraîche can reach much higher temperatures than butter, yogurt and sour cream without burning or breaking, so they are useful in cooking.

Freezer: Edamame, curry leaves, makrut lime leaves, merguez (spicy lamb sausages from North Africa). Fragrant leaves like makrut lime and curry (not the spice mix, but an Indian tree with scented leaves) are much more powerful in frozen form than dried.

Baking: Bread flour, pectin, almond flour, tapioca pearls, rose and orange flower waters, gelatin sheets, black cocoa, currants, fresh yeast, sparkling sugar, pearl sugar, candied citrus rinds

Best Practices

Once you have your ingredients, remember that cooking will always create change and disorder. Cans of tomatoes may never match, spices may never live in matching containers, and your hot sauce collection may always try to take over the condiment shelf. But here are a few final thoughts on how to keep your pantry well stocked and well organized enough to be truly useful.

ORGANIZING TIPS

Cooks with different styles need different systems. Some people store the jam with the dried fruits and maple syrup; others associate it with peanut butter, mustard and mayonnaise. The best logic is your own, and it may take some time to figure that out.

If you can’t see it, you’re probably not going to use it. A storage space with more shelving is the most efficient configuration for ingredients. Drawers or slide-out shelves also help tremendously with visibility.

Store everything you can in clear containers. Airtight plastic ones are best, and available in many shapes, sizes, and systems. Rectangular shapes make the best use of space.

Keep a roll of painter’s tape and some permanent markers in a kitchen drawer. It’ll help you make quick labels.

MAXIMIZING INGREDIENTS

Be realistic about your habits. It’s great to clean and trim a week’s worth of vegetables at once — but if you’re not going to do that, buy smaller quantities.

Buy ground spices in the smallest quantities you can find (except for spices you use regularly). Specialty companies will ship as little as an ounce, about 3 tablespoons. You’ll save space and produce better, brighter flavors in your food.

Buy fresh herbs. Dried herbs used to be a pantry essential, but most start out with very little flavor and lose it quickly in storage. (A couple of exceptions are dried oregano and dried thyme.) Pick up fresh herbs when you need them for a particular recipe; it’s a better investment of money and storage space.

Buy heavy, shelf-stable ingredients like boxed broth and canned tomatoes in bulk; better yet, order them online to save time and irritation. Almost any delivery service or website will offer a better price on these items than a brick-and-mortar store.

Cooked ingredients are much easier to use up than raw ones. Whether you steam, boil, pan-fry or roast, cook anything in your refrigerator that looks tired. You can always use it in a salad, a grain bowl or a pasta.

[klausinamarink]

Conjoined

day 6: Powers

Chapter 1 (also on ao3)

“So how are we feeling tonight?” Dad asked through a bite of his karaage. 

Mom swatted his arm playfully. “I’m feeling a bit disgusted by your behavior, Clovis.”

“But how am I supposed to enjoy this lovely fried chicken you’ve always perfected?” Dad chewed even louder and closer to her face, coupled with chipmunk noises. Mom snorted and pushed his face away. 

“Dis-gusting.” Robin scrunched her nose up.

“Dad, you’re really gross!” Thorn agreed even though half of his face was covered in ketchup.

Instead of joining in, Steve answered the nearly-forgotten question, “Feeling a little nervous, I guess. But not scared.”

“Me too,” sighed Robin.

Dad hummed thoughtfully as he always did, “Well, it’s normal to feel like that especially when you’re both starting school tomorrow.”

“That neither of you will skip or pretend you’re starting next month.” Mom pointed her chopsticks at them with a stern voice. “I still have mini-heart attacks just thinking about what you two did back in Minnesota.” 

“We were terrified freshman newbies!” Robin protested, eyes suddenly wide in mortification. 

“And you’re both starting your senior year. Don’t even try it, honey. Remember the golden rule.”

“I would rather sleep than study for another eight and half months.” Steve frowned, studying his now-empty plate. 

Thorn started stabbing his chopsticks into his karaage so the utensils would stand up like a pair of tiny skinny towers. “I would rather go to my bat cave than go to school tomorrow.”

“Maybe after school if you don’t get homework.” Dad told him.

Their little brother opened his mouth, closed it, and shrugged, “Okay, but if I get homework, I’m gonna get myself rabies and turn into a bat.” 

“Maybe you can find some little bat friends and you will never bother us again.” Robin drawled, to which Thorn responded with an ‘ as if’ sound that every ten year old was naturally gifted in.

“Steve, could you get your brother’s chopsticks off?” Dad asked. 

Steve’s head made a quick jerk to the side. The chopsticks clattered back next to Thorn’s plate like they were never stabbed into the fried chicken. Thorn just rolled his eyes like Steve was showing off again. 

Another normal dinner for the Buckleys. 

—

Seven picked up the board without using his hands. The helmet over his head made a beep-beep . The little metal door over the table opened and another snack slid out. Another chocolate piece, a bigger one this time. Seven took it and chewed it slowly. He loved how it melted in his mouth so he could still taste it even when he was done.

“Now keep the board in the air.” Papa’s voice said from the dark glass wall. 

Seven picked up the board again and held it as he was told. He felt a pinch between his eyes but he ignored it. 

The board hovered and started to tilt down. No, no! Seven kept his hands flat on the table because Papa said he shouldn’t remove his hands. Seven’s eyes welled up, but only with more con-cent-ation.

The board suddenly clattered to the ground. 

Seven slumped, automatically wiping his nose. “I’m sorry, Papa.”

“No need to apologize, Seven. Do I have to repeat myself?” Papa sighed, “But you did very well.” 

Without being told to, Seven picked up the board. Papa said it was made of iron and it was a very strong metal. Seven folded it in half like it was paper. Then he folded it again because he really liked trying ori-ga-mi Papa had taught them last time. But Papa told him to stop and so Seven stopped. After the doctors took the helmet off, Seven was given a small muffin ( a muffin! ) and was allowed to the Rainbow Room.

Nobody was there, not even the nice orderly man. Seven felt relieved because he never was the first one in the room. He sat at one of the tables and ate his muffin. But when he was half-done, the doors opened. Seven froze as Nine came in, walked all the way to the corner, and hugged herself. 

Nine was crying. 

Seven wasn’t sure why he felt bad. He had seen his siblings cry before, even Two. But they were always together when it happened. Seven never seen any of them cry alone before.

He slowly walked over to Nine. She turned to him with a glare. She gulped and said in Seven’s voice, “Go away.” Then she coughed and spat into her hand, wiping the blood off on her gown.

Seven offered Nine his muffin. It was half eaten but it would be enough for her. Nine glared at it but she took it. She sniffed it and took a bite. 

“It’s good.” Nine whispered. Then she cried again, “Go away.”

Seven didn’t go away. He stayed with her. 

—

Steve woke up too early. He was sweating and his head hurt like it usually does whenever he had a dream he couldn’t remember. He slipped out of bed, ignoring the cold pangs when Robin’s arms were no longer around him. They’ve always slept in the same bed since Mom and Dad took them in. Their parents once bought a bunk bed but Steve and Robin refused to sleep separately.

He went over to his desk and pulled out several thick sheets of paper. He turned the lamp on and started folding. 

By the time he finished the fourth butterfly, Robin stirred awake. She said nothing until Steve used the last sheet and had seven paper butterflies on the desk. “Go to sleep, dingus.”

Steve looked out the window. The new house was a little farther from town where there were more trees than houses. Even in the dark, Steve still wasn’t scared of the woods.

But he was scared of something else.

He shut the lamp and hopped back into bed. He offered one of the butterflies to Robin. “I made a butterfly for you.”

She took it and laid it next to her head on the pillow, “Thank you.”

They both fell asleep at the same time.

—

Dad offered to drive them all to school but Steve insisted he would drive himself with Robin and Thorn. Thorn argued that he can bike by himself, but their parents told him that would happen next week.

Steve wasn’t nervous anymore but his fingers still tapped along the steering wheel. He stopped when Robin silently hooked her pinkie around his. 

When they arrived at the school buildings, there was already a great crowd of students flooding in or loitering at the entrance. 

“Woah.” Thorn said, pressing his face against the window. Steve hit a bump and Thorn smacked his face against the glass. 

“Owie, my nose broke!” Robin cried in perfect imitation of their brother, even cupping her nose the same way Thorn does it.

“Screw you!” Thorn kicked her seat to which Robin responded by smacking a hand over his head.

“And now, we are here.” Steve said nonchalantly as he managed to find a good parking spot. If he turned his head, he could see where the middle school building connected with the high school. He casually grabbed both Robin and Thorn’s wrists, stopping their play-fight. “Remember we have to pick you up too, Thorn. So don’t try walking back-” 

“Yeah, yeah, I know!” Thorn escaped Steve’s grasp, grabbed his backpack, and ran out towards the middle school.

“Is it weird to think that this looks bigger than in Elba?” Robin asked as she stepped out of the car. 

“No, you’re right,” Steve agreed, staring at their new high school. He was still getting used to everything new in Hawkins. The new house with their new rooms, the new school, the new roads and stores, and the new faces. 

The two of them stood together, shoulder to shoulder, just watching. Technically, they had about twenty minutes before they had to go inside, but neither of them cared. They could have all the time in the world or even try to freeze time and they would still need to step inside the school. 

Robin held Steve’s hand, rubbing her thumb over the thick leather bracelet covering his wrist. Steve mirrored her, though his fingertips brushed bare skin instead of the smooth leather from her opposite side.

“Do you still have the bad feeling?” Robin asked quietly.

“The one that never went away since we came here?” Steve asked back.

“Stomach in knots.”

“Another nightmare too.”

They were silent for a moment. Then Steve gave out a small whoosh and patted Robin on the chest. 

“Let’s get this over with.” He said, tugging her along. 

They walked into the school, pressed close to each other as not to lose each other in the crowd of loud students.

Another new adventure for the Buckley twins.

[cwcontentcreator]

100 Quirky Fun Life Hacks

1. Use a paper clip to fix a broken zipper pull.

2. Freeze grapes to chill white wine without diluting it.

3. Store bed sheets inside their matching pillowcase.

4. Use a trousers hanger as a cookbook holder.

5. Put a wooden spoon over boiling water to prevent overflows.

6. Use muffin tins for condiment assortments at BBQs.

7. Place a rubber band around an open paint can to wipe your brush.

8. Use nail polish to differentiate keys.

9. Cut soft cheese or cake with unscented dental floss.

10. Use a squeegee to remove pet hair from furniture.

11. Put pancake mix in a ketchup bottle for a no-mess experience.

12. Use old newspaper to deodorize food containers.

13. Clean your keyboard with sticky notes.

14. Use a can opener to safely open blister packs.

15. Amplify your phone’s speaker with a cup.

16. Use ice cubes to remove furniture indentations in carpet.

17. Use a banana peel to shine shoes.

18. Put a dry towel in the dryer to speed up the drying process.

19. Use a hanging shoe rack to organize cleaning supplies.

20. Use toothpaste to clear up hazy car headlights.

21. Drop Alka-Seltzer tabs to clean a toilet.

22. Freeze aloe vera gel in ice cube trays for sunburn relief.

23. Store ice cream in a zip-top bag to keep it soft.

24. Use a bread tab to hold your spot on a roll of tape.

25. Thread a necklace through a straw to prevent tangling.

26. Blow-dry your mirror to prevent fogging.

27. Use a pool noodle to fill your mop bucket.

28. Use a tennis ball to hold pens or as a towel holder.

29. Clean sneakers with toothpaste.

30. Use a lint roller to clean out your purse or backpack.

31. Use a pasta ladle to measure one serving of spaghetti.

32. Use a pillowcase to clean ceiling fans.

33. Place a rubber band around an open paint can to wipe your brush.

34. Use a post-it note when drilling to catch dust.

35. Wrap gifts with fabric for reusable wrapping.

36. Flip a toaster on its side for grilled cheese.

37. Prevent pot boiling over with a wooden spoon.

38. Infuse olive oil with garlic for instant bread dip.

39. Freeze lemon slices and water for instant refreshing drinks.

40. Use a hair straightener to iron collar edges.

41. Cook two pizzas at once by cutting them in half and laying them flat.

42. Use a microfiber cloth to clean your glasses with vinegar.

43. Use a carabiner to carry multiple grocery bags.

44. Freeze a sponge in a zip bag for an ice pack that won’t drip.

45. Write with a whiteboard marker on appliances to track perishables.

46. Use an egg slicer for equally sliced mushrooms.

47. Put a damp sponge in the microwave to disinfect it.

48. Layer scented dryer sheets between sheets for a fresh bed.

49. Soak a sponge in water and soap, freeze it for a DIY ice pack that cleans.

50. Use binder clips to fix a broken keyboard foot.

51. Make a tablet stand from a cutting board and a scrunchie.

52. Stash emergency cash in a ChapStick tube.

53. Plant herbs in a wine rack with glass jars.

54. Organize cables with binder clips on a desk edge.

55. Clean blender by blending water and soap.

56. Stuff newspaper in wet shoes for quick drying.

57. Use a muffin tin to serve condiments at a picnic.

58. Turn a magazine holder into a shelf by mounting it sideways.

59. Keep apple slices from browning with a rubber band.

60. Use a plastic bottle as a makeshift watering can.

61. Drop a few marshmallows into brown sugar to prevent hardening.

62. Clean your iron by ironing salt on wax paper.

63. Use a vegetable peeler to slice cheese thinly.

64. Sharpen scissors by cutting fine-grit sandpaper.

65. Use crayons as emergency candles.

66. Place a wooden spoon in a pot to prevent boiling over.

67. Make your own ice pack by freezing dish soap.

68. Organize your closet by hanging bags with shower curtain rings.

69. Keep cords organized with bread tags.

70. Use a colander to evenly distribute powdered sugar.

71. Make a DIY sprinkler with a punctured plastic bottle.

72. Use a wine cork to safely store needles.

73. Store sheet sets inside their corresponding pillowcase.

74. Freeze coffee in ice cube trays for undiluted iced coffee.

75. Use beeswax to waterproof shoes.

76. Use a magnetic strip to organize bobby pins and tweezers.

77. Remove pet hair with a squeegee.

78. Use old CD racks for bagel sandwich holders.

79. Use a potato to unscrew a broken lightbulb.

80. Use a salad spinner to fluff down jackets.

81. Use glasses as a makeshift smartphone tripod.

82. Keep your earbuds in a mint container when not in use.

83. Seal plastic bags with the top of a water bottle; cut the top off and slide the bag through the neck.

84. Convert a cardboard box into a makeshift sled.

85. Turn a plastic bottle into a makeshift piggy bank.

86. Keep a bar of soap in the same drawer as your dirty laundry to keep it smelling fresh.

87. Use old socks as sleeves to protect drinks from warming or hands from cold.

88. Use a wine bottle as a rolling pin.

89. Make a no-sew pet bed from an old sweater.

90. Cut an old milk jug into a dustpan.

91. Use a yoga mat under rugs for extra no-slip safety.

92. Use a waffle iron to make cinnamon rolls.

93. Turn a bread clip into a holder for tapes on a tape roll.

94. Put Vaseline on the end of a nail polish bottle for easy opening.

95. Use a vegetable peeler to make chocolate curls.

96. Use a pill container to organize jewelry when traveling.

97. Use a shower cap to cover the bottom of shoes in your luggage.

98. Use a lemon to freshen up your garbage disposal.

99. Use a rubber band around an open paint can for excess paint wiping.

100. Use clear nail polish to stop a run in your stockings.

[thessalian]

Thess vs Food Innovations

Every so often, I end up on Ranker, looking at various lists of Weird and Funny Things. Usually a good source for trivia. Today I wound up on “19 Tasteless Food Fails That Spoiled Our Appetites” and two of them are just ... actually brilliant for those of us who can’t tolerate gluten for whatever reason.

One was a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich - literally just smallish pieces of bacon and cheese tucked between two halves of a hard-boiled egg. That’s fucking brilliant. Also kind of a nifty little hors d’oeuvre.

The other one? Tomato buns. Literally put your hamburger between two ends of a sliced tomato. I mean, obviously not if you can’t eat or don’t like tomatoes, but I love tomatoes and if I can find a decent-enough sized tomato in this country, I am totally doing that. Hell, I could do it with the smaller salad tomatoes and again, have little bite-sized tomato-bun burgers.

I’m not getting how that’s so gross, or even all that weird. That’s just, “Hey, I want to eat a thing but the way it’s normally eaten would make me sick; let’s try a thing!” I mean, tomatoes go on burgers all the time, not least in the form of ketchup, and what’s the issue with what’s effectively a McMuffin minus the muffin?

People need to get way more flexible about their food, I think I mean, am I wrong? I don’t think either of those things belong on the same list as someone trying to cook raw chicken in a hotel room coffee maker, or someone making their coffee with pasta water.

(Then again, someone who wound up with a bat accidentally trapped in their McDonalds bag probably doesn’t belong there either, nor “FOOD TOO BIG”. Some places serve big food and as for the bat ... well, maybe he liked big food too.)

[crumb3s]

TW ED: Meal log 01/21/23

Was feeling nauseous the whole day so wasn’t able to do much movement/workout🤦‍♀️ But!!! My morning weigh in was 2lbs down from yesterday 🙏 losing 2lbs a day. This will change since I’m ovr weight rn but will just enjoy for the moment.

Breakfast:2 boiled egg whites (34cal), half of a super coffee (40cal). Total= 74cal

Lunch: fiber one brownie (70cal). Total= 70cal

Dinner: muffin (100cal) veggie patty (110cal) ketchup(20cal) mustard(3cal) onion(9cal?) total= 242cal

Total=386cal

For the past few days I’ve been eating below 400cal instead of 500 I’ll alternate between those two. The “burger” is so yummy 😋 I only had the muffin bread on hand but it’s still good.

[onyxhealthy]

Healthiest and Unhealthiest food items from every fast food chain

Table of content

McDonald's

Subway

KFC

Burger King

Pizza Hut

Domino's Pizza

Taco Bell

Wendy's

Dunkin' Donuts

Starbucks

In-N-Out Burger

Chick-fil-A

Healthiest food items on McDonald’s menu is-

Grilled Chicken Sandwich: This sandwich is a good source of protein and contains 380 calories, 7 grams of fat, and 37 grams of protein. You can also ask for it without the sauce or cheese to reduce the calorie and fat content even further.

Egg White Delight McMuffin: This breakfast sandwich is made with egg whites, Canadian bacon, and cheese on an English muffin. It contains 250 calories, 8 grams of fat, and 18 grams of protein, making it a good choice for a satisfying breakfast on the go.

Unhealthiest food items on McDonald’s menu is-

Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese: This sandwich contains two beef patties, cheese, mayonnaise, and ketchup on a sesame seed bun. It provides a total of 740 calories, 42 grams of fat, and 1,380 milligrams of sodium.

[polhtrust]

Trina smarky mark

#Trina smarky mark tv

Additional toppings include bacon, ham, or Ramsey’s sautéed swiss chard, which he cooks down with plenty of garlic and a high-quality extra virgin olive oil. Each sandwich is then topped with two slices of Cabot sharp cheddar cheese and either a spicy sriracha ailoli, truffle ketchup, or a red-eye mayo. “We went through several iterations, just testing and testing, while everybody weighed in regarding the individual components.” The final product includes a base of airy Chip-In Farm eggs that have been whipped with cold chunks of Cabot 83 butter in a Vita-Prep machine. “The funny about this sandwich is that we built it just like we used to do at America’s Test Kitchen,” says co-owner Charles Kelsey, who met his wife and business partner, Rachel, while working under Christopher Kimball. Two years into their always-busy existence, this 16-seat standout sandwich shop in Brookline invited all of its employees to chip in on making the perfect breakfast sandwich. Cutty’s: Cutty’s Egg Sandwich on Pretzel Bagel Each order is served with a side of Postal’s duck fat home fries.ġ1 Broad Canal Way, Kendall Square, Cambridge 61 or .Ĭutty’s egg sandwich with swiss chard on a pretzel bagel. It just makes it.” On weekdays between 10 and 11 a.m., you can order Commonwealth’s Dirty Jersey on Stone & Skillet English muffins or on pastry chef Nick DeLuca’s freshly baked brioche buns during Marky Mark and the Funky Brunch, which takes place every Sunday between 10 a.m. “You need gooey, decadent American cheese. “You don’t use some fancy cheese, which we have plenty of those here,” says Postal. It doesn’t matter, I still won’t eat Trenton Pork Roll.” As an homage to his native hometown and a sandwich he made at his first job at Bagelicious in Ridgewood, Postal combines seared Taylor Ham (“Jersey Spam”), scrambled eggs, ketchup, and American cheese. “People are crazy about one or the other, even though they’re pretty much the same thing with a different name. “Jersey is pretty much split into two schools, either you eat Taylor Ham or Trenton Pork Roll,” says Nookie Postal, chef and owner of Commonwealth in Cambridge. The Dirty Jersey with duck fat home fries at Commonwealth. After trying it, I realized it would be a good way to introduce carnitas to our customers, something that’s a major focus here at the restaurant.”ġ24 Broadway, Somerville  61 or. “I stayed overnight watching it and in the morning I was looking for something to eat, so I pulled off some of the pork to make a sandwich for me and the staff. The silky ribbons of swine are piled on top of a fresh Pain D’Avignon brioche bun with a fried egg, pea shoots, and a slab of Fiddlehead Tomme cheese from New Hampshire’s Boggy Meadow Farm. “I came up with it while I was roasting a whole pig one weekend,” Bojorquez says. Bojorquez first cures a bone-in Berkshire pork shoulder in paprika, brown sugar, and salt, then slow roasts it for eight hours in La Brasa’s trademark wood-burning oven. Photo by Chelsea KyleĬhef Daniel Bojorquez’s new Somerville spot has only been open a month, but it’s already drawing plenty of buzz for its smoke-kissed creations like this porky Sunday offering.

#Trina smarky mark tv

And head to our 2022 TV premiere schedule to see what new and returning shows are hitting primetime and beyond.La Brasa’s pork breakfast sandwich. Be sure to watch how she does next when the iconic game show airs daily in syndication check your local listings to see when and where it’s playing in your area. No telling if Ryherd will enter the list of most successful Jeopardy! champions in history after this fun-filled first win, but they all had to start somewhere. Now Halley Ryherd just needs to make it through the rest of her life without saying anything like, "You know, that actor Rakim from the movies Ted and The Departed." I’ve talk to my therapist about it and I think I’m ready to forever be the person who mixed up Public Enemy and Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch on Jeopardy. (And for a clue that referred to Sesame Street, of all things.) And she had a great attitude about the highly public (enemy) error, saying this with a post-episode tweet: Thankfully, Halley Ryherd came out as the champion in the end, despite none of the three contestants landing Final Jeopardy successfully.

[guerins]

Remember... I think it was Carol. Remember what she used to do with Jason’s bangs?

[elibeeline]

Ignore what i said laundry shall be completed tomorrow :)

[oxygenbefore1775]

hii! can i please get some warrior hcs about their cooking skills? thx in advance!

(also im in love with your hcs i mean why else would i ask you for some)

tysm for the ask, Im really flattered to read this - so, without further ado

AoT Warriors and their cooking skills

Annie

Annie can't be bothered to cook and consequently neglect her training

doesn't resort to less time-consuming options like instant noodles or fastfood - she hasn't fallen this low yet (also she needs nutrients to keep her body in-shape)

prefers to cook meals with minimum amount of steps and the ones that don't need supervision

overnight oats is her go-to meal, Annie has a year's supply of this stuff - adds an ungodly amount of protein powder while preparing it

when her partner comes over for a date, only then Annie prepares a perfect salad i.e. all vegetables in the salad are perfectly cut into pieces of identical size and shape

Bertholdt

cooking is not his cup of tea — treats cooking not as a hobby or a leisure activity but as a required skill to keep himself alive

cooks whenever he feels hungry so his portions are rather big and recipes he picks out are uninventive

but if Bertholdt is in a fancy mood, he might treat himself to an intricate meal that he would spend hours on

on the other hand, Bertholdt enjoys baking — every now and then he would bring baked goods to the office for other Warriors to enjoy

gets very anxious whether or not his sponge cakes or muffins are delicious enough so his cure-all is the loads of baking powder and sugar that he adds on top of the recipe

Colt

a perfect cook as long as he has a recipe to follow - the abscence of the recipe sends him into a panic mode

Colt is very thorough when it comes to ingridients and equipment, would go grocery shopping solely to buy the needed ingridients

but every now and then he would forget some minor thing and that would put a halt to the entire process: "Oh no, we've run out of parsley! Now I can't finish cooking the meal. Falco, could you please buy some parsley in the meantime? But be quick - it all depends on you whether or not we will be dining tonight"

bless him, Colt is simply unaware that recipes can be adjusted

Pieck

Pieck, on the other hand, doesn't let minor details of the recipe bother her - does the bare minimum required of her; for example if Pieck is making a pizza, she'd just cover a piece of dough with ketchup and some dried out cheese, bake it in an oven and call it a day

often forgets to add salt and pepper

is very resourceful but this resourcefulness can be extreme sometimes - one time when cooking she needed some lemon juice but didn't have any lemons, so Pieck diluted some citric acid in water and used this instead

doesn't like washing the dishes so opts for reusing pots and pans to the point when it gets gross and calls for cross-contamination

Porco

Porco doesn't cook - he performs

wants people to watch him cook and would use the flashiest cooking techniques (like setting the contents of a pan on fire with alcohol) even if they are not required and even if he is not skilled enough to use them

would get distracted often and leave pan/pot unattended

is a type of person who would increase the temperature in an oven so that the dish would cook faster

taking last two points into consideration, expect him to serve burnt food

Reiner

if Reiner cooks only for himself, he won't push his boundaries then - anything he has laying around in the apartment would do as nourishment

gets annoyed whenever he has to cook for somebody else because he will need to make an actual effort at cooking (but he will be damned if he doesn't feed those people)

watches over the pan/pot to prevent any food from being overcooked and taste-tests the food at each-stage

olive oil - even if it's not in the recipe Reiner would add olive oil - desserts are the only exception for him

Zeke

considers himself a good enough cook to buy himself an apron and a chef's hat

doesn't season his food at all - he can't be bothered to take into account the seasoning preferences of all people so Zeke just serves them a plain dish with seasonings on the side

sometimes delegates tasks to other Warriors - if Zeke is lucky enough, he can "prepare" a dish without lifting a finger because the others would do all the cooking in Zeke's stead

due to his cat-tongue Zeke can't taste-test his food while cooking so finds out the actual taste of the meal only through the feedback of the other people - until then the successfulness of Zeke's meal is pretty much a gamble

[absolutepokemontrash]

You Can’t Handle The Tooth

A very very short fic where Luke needs a loose baby tooth pulled, but he’s really nervous about it.

Genre: Crack

Warnings: Teeth stuff

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Wiggle…wiggle…wiggle…

Luke toyed with his loose tooth in front of the mirror, brows creasing as his eyes followed each little shake.

Wiggle…wiggle…wiggle…

“Luke, you’re going to be late for school, are you still in bed?” Simeon knocked before slowly opening the door and sticking his head in the room. Luke didn’t have time to answer, he had much more pressing things to deal with! “What’s wrong?”

“Oh Simeon!” Luke cried, pointing at his loose canine. “My tooth! It’s awful!”

“Ah,” all the concern melted off Simeon face, and an almost cheeky smile replaced it. “How long has it been loose for? I could pull it out for you-”

“NO!”

“E-eh?”

“NEVER! You’re not touching my tooth!” Luke covered his mouth protectively with his hands, pushing a little too hard on the loose tooth and causing a dull ache in his gums. “Not after what happened last time!”

“L-last time?”

Luke shuddered at the memory. “We tried to pull one of my front teeth too early… and it hurt sooooo much and got stuck… one of the older angels had to get it out with pliers…”

The little Angel said that last part in a whisper, as if repeating what happened would summon dozens of plier monsters to steal his remaining baby teeth. Simeon chuckled slightly before covering it up with a cough, but even Luke could still see the ghost of a smile on his face.

“I promise I won’t hurt you, would you like to try-”

“No!” Luke shook his head so hard his hat slipped onto his face. “It needs to fall out naturally so it doesn’t hurt!”

Simeon blinked a few times in surprise, before shrugging and sighing. “If you say so, Luke. Now we’re going to miss school if you don’t get going.”

—————————

And wait for the tooth to fall out naturally, Luke did. But OH MY GOD WAS IT ANNOYING.

After a fatal incident where Luke bit down on a cookie Barbatos had made, his tooth was majorly loose. Every time he bit something, the tooth would click back and hit the roof of his mouth, causing one of the most aggravating pains of Luke’s (albeit short for an Angel) life.

Eating soft foods at lunch? “OW!”

Hopping up and down stairs? “OW!”

Just talking? “OW OW OW!”

As much as this was grating on Luke, it was grating on the demons and the other exchange students more.

“You know, Luke,” Beel said, munching on a muffin that Luke had given up to him. “I could pull it out for you.”

“Wh- no! I already told you!” Luke huffed, crossing his arms and slumping forward, causing his teeth to click together and once again, hitting the loose tooth. “I’m waiting for it to fall out naturally.”

Belphie, who was asleep next to Beel, let out a surprised snore, opened his eyes, and scanned the area before his eyes landed on Luke.

“Snrk- ugh… loose tooth?” He asked.

“Mhm…”

“Give me five minutes, let me get the pliers.” Belphie shifted to get up, but the horrified expression on Luke’s face froze him in his tracks. “Y-you alright Chihuahua?”

“NOOOOOOOOOO!”

Luke screamed and ran down the hall and completely out of sight, leaving the two bewildered twins behind.

————————

“Owwww…” Luke whimpered, rubbing his upper lip in an attempt to massage his sore gums. He was sitting next to Leviathan in the library during what was supposed to be a relaxing study period, but nope. His tooth was once again ruining his day.

Levi grimaced and rolled his eyes as his thumbs just missed the next tiles. Piano Tiles was a game meant to be won with little to no distractions, but the chihuahua was really getting on Levi’s last nerve. He slowly turned to look at Luke, what he hoped to be a gentle smile on his face.

“L-listen, why don’t I help you with that?”

“Wh-what do you mean?”

Levi went redder than ketchup as embarrassment rushed to his face. “W-well! I know yo-you probably d-don’t want the help of some worthless Otaku, but I can get your tooth out.”

“Huh?”

Levi turned to face Luke fully and lowered himself to his level. “Y-yeah, just let me get some twine and-”

The Avatar of Envy reached forward, and as quick as a bolt of lighting, a resounding CRACK echoed through the entire library. Levi’s face snapped to the right as a red spot began to grow on his cheek. Luke’s chair screeched as he roughly pushed it out and bolted for the door.

“SIMEEEEEEOOOOOOOON!”

His shouts revived an angry shush from the poor librarian.

“G-geez…” Levi rubbed the spot on his cheek, it didn’t particularly sting, and Luke had really soft little hands. “Like being slapped by a squishamellow…”

———————

“Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!” Luke whined as he went down each step of the school’s front stairs. The Avatar of Greed let out an annoyed groan from behind him.

“Fido, I’m serious, if ya don’t stop with the whinin’ I’m gonna take away your extra walkies.”

Luke went a colour that could only be described as the brightest shade of red ever conceived as he turned to berate Mammon. “My name is- ow- it’s Luke!”

“Yeah yeah yeah,” Mammon rolled his eyes waved his hand in the air. “What’s the big idea about this stupid tooth anyway? Don’tcha know what you’ll get once it comes out?”

“Hm? What..?”

“Money!” Mammon said with a megawatt smile. “The tooth fairy’ll give ya some pocket change in exchange for your tooth! A pretty fair trade if ya ask me.”

“I don’t need money.” Luke huffed, frowning up at Mammon. “I save my allowance. Unlike some.”

Mammon choked on a gasp before coughing up a storm. Luke turned around and kept walking. No use in trying to reason with scumbags like him!

“Oi! That’s a pretty mean thing for an Angel to say!” Mammon shouted. He grabbed the back of Luke’s collar and spun him around. “Listen kid, I know ya want your tooth to fall out ‘naturally’ or whatever, but what if the Great Mammon made takin’ your tooth out fun?”

“F-fun?” Luke asked tentatively, Mammon grinned and nodded.

“Yeah! I’ll get a bit of twine, wrap it around that sucker and attach the end of the twine to the bumper of my car. Then I put the pedal to the medal and the tooth becomes a distant memory! What do ya say?”

Luke and Mammon had about four seconds of awkward sustained eye contact… until Luke raised a small bottle and sprayed its contents right into Mammon’s eyes.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!”

The two of them screamed as Luke ran off towards Purgatory Hall at top speed. Mammon clawed at his eyes before he realized… Luke had sprayed him with water. Not holy water. Regular water.

…damn it chihuahua.

—————

“Ah, hello Chihuahua.”

No… in his own home…

There stood in the doorway to the living room… evil incarnate. The worst of the worst… the baddest of the bad… the sadists of sadists… the most refined scum in the entire Devildom… the giver of bad nicknames…

Lucifer… the Avatar of Pride…

Well, the most refined dickhead in the Devildom was wearing quite the chipper smile on his eeeeeeviiiil face.

“What do you want?” Luke sneered, Lucifer only smiled and sat next to the Angel.

“I’ve heard about your little debacle and I’m here to help.” Lucifer said, slowly reaching out his hand. “Just hold still.”

“NO!”

“LUCIFER FREEZE.”

Ah! A SAVIOUR!

Standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips, stood the human exchange student. Lucifer sat frozen mid grab for the tooth with a expression that could only be described as pure inconvenience. Himiko gently glided across the room and took Luke’s face in her gentle hands, he immediately sank into her touch.

“Oh you poor poor thing!” Himiko cooed, her eyes filled with sympathy. “Has your tooth really been bothering you?”

“Mhm…” Luke sighed mournfully. Even though he would have loved to have told Himiko off for treating him like a little kid… he had to admit, she had a way of making him feel like the most special little Angel in the entire universe.

“Aw, and everyone’s been bothering you? Shame on them!”

“Yeah!”

“Excuse me-”

“Shut up, Lucifer.” Himiko growled before turning back to Luke with the sweetest look he’d ever seen. “Oh Luke, I’ll help, okay? You don’t have to take your tooth out. I know an old human truck that can make all the pain vanish.”

“R-really?” Luke asked, his voice tinged with hope.

“Mhm!” Himiko nodded with the warmest of smiles on her face. “Here, lay down.”

She gently guided Luke’s head to rest in her lap, then patted his head three times.

“Step one! Pat, pat, pat!”

Luke giggled as Himiko then began to boop his nose.

“Step two! Beep, beep, beep!”

“Hi-Himiko…” Luke said through peals of childish giggles. “How’s this supposed to help?”

“Shhh, now for step three. Close your eyes and say aaaaaaaah.”

“Aaaaaaah.”

Luke closed his eyes and he felt Himiko’s fingers close around his tooth, then- nothing. Huh… there was the tiniest of dull aches but he didn’t feel any discomfort. Luke opened his eyes a crack and slowly felt around for his tooth with his tongue. Did Himiko click it back into his skull or something-

THAT HUMAN STOLE HIS TOOTH!

Himiko triumphantly held the baby tooth in two pinched fingers, Lucifer let out a chuckle and shook his head. Luke’s jaw dropped as he leapt off of Himiko’s lap and nearly fell backwards into the coffee table. He pointed an accusatory finger at the two of them as he tried to sputter out a reply.

“Y-y-you tricked me!” Luke gasped, he turned to Lucifer with a furious expression on his little face. “Your awful demon-ness has rubbed off on her! That was sneaky! And cruel! And mean! And-”

“Clever?” Lucifer offered.

“I was going to say awful!” Luke stomped his foot.

“Luke,” Himiko said gently, holding out his tooth. “Come on, it didn’t even hurt, did it?”

“N-no! But you’ve betrayed my trust! I’m never speaking to either of you again!” Luke said as he stomped off towards his room.

Himiko and Lucifer shared a glance as they heard angry footsteps coming back to the living room. Luke stuck out his hand, his cheeks still red with anger.

“I want my tooth back. I deserve some tooth fairy money for this!”

———————

Author’s Note

Betrayal… betrayal of the highest order… this was just a quick little thing to get me back into the swing of writing :3

I hope you enjoyed!

[nasty-burger]

Drinks: Small soda $1.50, Medium soda $2.50, Large soda $3.50, Small Milkshake $2.00, Medium Milkshake $3.00, Large Milkshake $4.00,Bottled Water $1.00, Milk $1.00, Chocolate Milk $1.00, Small Iced Tea $1.50, Medium Iced Tea $2.75, Large Iced Tea $3.00, Small Coffee $2.00, Medium Coffee $3.00, Large Coffee $4.00, Small Hot Chocolate $1.50, Large Hot Chocolate $2.50

Mains:Plain burger $2.00, Plain cheeseburger $2.50, Single Slice Pizza $1.00, Mighty Meaty Cheesy Melt $5.00*, Mushroom Burger $4.50*, Fish Sandwich $2.50, Sloppy Joe $2.75, Fish Twist $4.75*, Burritos (Bean and cheese, beef and cheese, beef bean and cheese, chicken cheese, chicken beef and cheese) $2.50, 5 piece Chicken Nugget $1.50, 10 piece Chicken Nugget $2.50, 20 piece Chicken Nugget $4.50, 5 piece Chicken Bites $1.00, 10 piece Chicken Bites $2.00, 20 piece Chicken Bites $1.50, 5 piece Chicken Fingers $2.50, 10 piece Chicken Fingers $3.50, 20 piece Chicken Fingers $5.50

(+$0.50 per extra toping, +$0.75 per patty, +$0.75 for non-meat patty options)(Non-meat patties: Mushroom, spinach, broccoli, carrot, mixed veggie)

*A Sloppy Joe that has a hamburger patty with Monterrey Jack cheese mixed into the patty, and toasted buns.

*Burger patty with swiss cheese, brown gravy, and fried mushrooms.

*A non-breaded fish patty with Sloppy Joe meat and shredded cheddar cheese.

Sides:Salad $2.00, Small Fries $1.00, Medium Fries $1.50, Large Fries $2.00, Small Onion Rings $1.50, Medium Onion Rings$2.00, Large Onion Rings$2.50,

Deserts:Ice Cream Cone $0.50, Pie $0.75 or 2 for $1.00, Cinnamon Roll $1.00, Cookies $0.50, Muffin(plain, raisin, blueberry, strawberry, chocolate)$1.00

Breakfasts:Pancakes $2.00, Fried or Scrambled Eggs $1.50, Egg Sandwich $2.50,Oatmeal $1.50, Sausage $0.75*, Breakfast Burrito (Scrambled Eggs, Cheese, and Sausage) $3.00

*A Breakfast-only side. $0.75 for the first two then it’s an extra $0.25 per extra one.

Sauces(free):Sweet & Sour, BBQ, Honey Mustard, Mustard, Ketchup, Ranch, Mayonnaise, Buffalo, Sweet & Spicy, Thousand Island, Nasty Sauce*

*Tastes like Sweet & Sour, BBQ, and a hint of Buffalo

[burgerdudes]

🍔 Updated review ━ 📍 The Bird ★★★☆☆ • The Bird is one of Berlin’s most well-known burger restaurants, and when we first visited them back in 2016 we felt that they served the best burgers in the German capital. It’s worth noting that The Bird is a real meat restaurant, and that you always get to choose how your meat should be prepaerd. We prefer medium rare to medium, which incidentally is what they recommend as well. The menu consists of two burger types; a couple of Griddle Burgers with two 125-gram patties and several Grill Burgers with a hefty 250-gram patty. We ordered a Griddle Burger called Da Birdhouse for 14.5 EUR (15.5 USD) with bacon, cheese, fried onions, pickles, ketchup and mustard plus a Grill Burger called Ghetto Burger with only American cheese for 13.5 EUR (14.5 USD). Both burgers came with a large portion of french fries plus lettuce, tomato, red onion and a pickle on the side. We also replaced one order of french fries for sweet potato fries at no extra cost. • When our burgers arrived we were cast back in time to our last visit, because just about everything was the same as before. Their strange bun still looked like two dry English muffins, and were the main detractor just like last time. And the beef was just as great as before; cooked to a perfect medium rare. Their unwavering focus on the meat was obvious, and it’s clear that they really know what they’re doing in that aspect. Despite the fact that our thick Ghetto Burger just contained beef and three slices of cheese, it was still super juicy and we didn’t miss any sauces. Our Da Birdhouse was also juicy, but the bacon was too soft and the only thing that really added any textures was the rather hard bun. • Unfortunately there wasn’t really enough for The Bird to take flight this time, and they’ve simply been overtaken by Berlin’s burger scene. ━ @thebirdinberlin #burger #burgers #burgertime #burgerporn #burgerdudes #burgerlovers #food #foodie #hamburger #hamburgare #berlin #berlinburgers #🍔 #🍟 #🇩🇪 (at The Bird) https://www.instagram.com/p/CedCtQlDzqZ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[dilexit]

Chapter 5: Wilbur do People Think We’re Crazy?

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✎ Wilbur x GN!Reader

✎ Word count: 1.4k

✎ Summary: Two idiots probably spill ketchup on their fancy clothes while filming a documentary

✎WARNINGS!: food (breakfast and mcdonalds), Meds ( unspecified literally just mentions that Y/n took their meds in the morning if it doesn’t apply to you sorry and if it does then don’t forget to take them and take care of yourself), I think that's it but if not feel free to tell me

✎ Sorry, sorry, sorry IDK if anyone saw one of my latest posts where I talked about where I've been and so if you didn't long story short I've been in and out of the hospital for reasons. I'm fine but then they thought I wasn't fine so I had to stay longer then I normally do but I'm okay. Y'all can't get rid of me that easily oh and then finals rolled around and that was #stressful but anywho I've got the shorter chapter out and hope for more frequent updates sending my love,. Oh and also happy holidays -Summer

Y/n swung their feet over their comforter finally getting out of bed as they really didn’t feel like going to school today. Their first class was Media Studies which was always a great way to start the day. Besides today on their schedule rotation, they didn’t have bio which was a win in their book. Techno had his gym period before school started so that he could get a free period during the day and it was his turn for the car so Y/n had to take the bus with Wilbur which was only embarrassing because they were seniors. Y/n quickly got ready for school grabbing their backpack and camera bag making sure they had their lenses and went to the kitchen. They filled up their water bottle, grabbed a bar for breakfast, and took their meds.

“Love you Ma/Pa,” They yelled as they left walking to the bus stop. Their bus stop was pretty close by and only had one other person at their stop who Y/n had gotten used to over the years. He was a Junior named Sapnap. Over the years Y/n got to see him grow up into the loud-mouthed teen who played football and had seniors as best friends. They could still recall when he was a little kid throughout elementary school with panda keychains and blueberry muffins every day for breakfast. Y/n’s grip on their camera bag tightened as they started to feel it slip.

“Hey, Y/n long time no see,” Sapnap joked he would also normally get driven to school but his ride also took the same gym class as Techno so here the two stood. “I haven’t seen you at any games,”

“Oh yeah,” Y/n stopped choosing their words very carefully so as not to hurt his feelings. They settled on the college lie. “I’ve been busy with my NYU application,” They laughed holding up the camera bag. There was a lol in the conversation as he had seemed to get a text. Y/n looked down at their phone checking the time, 7:24 which meant the bus should be there soon. When the bus pulled up Y/n was glad that they had a predetermined bus buddy as faces filled every seat. Alas over the mass of people Wil’s hair was seen and the yelling blond behind him was a telltale. Y/n started forward and pulled in the seat. The bus smelled like BO and Y/n could feel their legs sticking to the seats.

“Still on for Thursday?” Wilbur asked mainly as a joke

“Oh yeah definitely also I was checking the weather, our schedules, and such and I was thinking we should camp on the beach on Saturday. It’s supposed to be warm but windy so comfy camping weather plus we have a whole day to put our backs back in place from sleeping on the sand.” Y/n said looking down at their nail beds and picking at some fuzz.

“Oh um actually I can’t do Saturday,” Wilbur spoke hesitantly and Y/n’s eyes shot up to his, their eyebrows scrunching in confusion. “ Well you see I’ve got a project for calculus which sounds like a shitty lie but I promise you it’s not,” He defended himself more when seeing the Y/n wasn’t believing him.

“Ok fine what is it then,” Y/n asked

“So my partner and I need to design an attraction for an amusement park and use calculus to make it safe but fun. It’s really dumb but Sally and I have to meet up outside of class for it and we chose Saturday.” Wil’s hand was rubbing the back of his neck as he looked down, a subtle pout on his face, feeling bad for forgetting about their plan.

“Hey Wil stop that, you look like a depressed pug and it’s hurting me. Don’t worry but then why don’t we just camp on the beach Friday night that way you and Sally can do your dumb math thing and I can edit the videos from that night,” Y/n was upset that Sally would be interrupting one of the most important projects Y/n’s ever worked on. It stung even more because Y/n knew that Sally was crushing on Wilbur but then again Wil’s an oblivious idiot when it comes to feelings and Y/n knew that better than anyone.

…...Thursday Third Period…....

Y/n absolutely hated their math class, not only was AP calculus stupidly difficult even when they didn’t mind the subject, but their teacher was horrible. Mrs. Mejers was a very nice woman, she was just boring. The subject at hand required focus that needed to be held and without a teacher that could do that Y/n struggled just a little bit. This class was always slow but the clock was moving what felt abnormally slow due to Y/n’s excitement for lunch. They had grown to love crossing things off the list, it was such a happy moment for Y/n and Wil. Y/n had stopped paying attention as class was ending so they were antsy. It was only calculus and google gave Wilbur a run for his money in the best friend department. Then just like that the bell rang telling Y/n, it was time for lunch. They rushed out of the classroom down the winding halls, nearly walking into obnoxiously large groups of freshmen who didn’t understand how hall's work. They had made it to the arts wing of the school which was four halls that awkwardly jutted off from the main hallways. M hall was a fun little inlet in between P and L hall which both lead into R hall which was the main art hall. Y/n’s locker was right outside of their photography classroom and only a short walk to Wilbur's locker in R hall. They grabbed the change of clothes in the drawstring bag when they felt a hand on their shoulder causing them to jump

“Hey ankle biter,” Wilbur said giggling a bit at Y/n’s jumpy nature, “I’m ready to go when you are,”. Y/n looked Wilbur up and down before walking into the GN bathroom and quickly changing into their fancy clothes then dropping off the bags into their locker and turning to Wil.

“Ok let’s go Lankenstein,”

“You’ve wounded me, love,” Wilbur says holding his hands to his chest, Y/n chose to ignore the feelings bubbling up in their chest and instead shoved him lightly. The two friends walked out of the school laughing like idiots while looking back on footage from Y/n’s SD card. In the car, Wilbur played his music stupidly loud but Y/n couldn’t find it in themself to care, instead singing along with him. When they made it to the McDonalds parking lot Wilbur stayed seated quickly tying his tie which made Y/n giggle from the memories of Phil teaching them how to do it. The two stepped out of the car and Wilbur holds out his hand. “You ready love,”

“I always am,” Y/n joked as a mental counter for the heat rushing to their cheeks. The pair walked hand in hand, and because it was a McDonalds and it was the high school lunch rush, it was crowded. They got a few looks but not as much as they expected. Y/n had to sneakily film with their phone which physically pained them just a bit but after asking for permission to film at their table Y/n was able to use their beloved Canon EOS Rebel setting it on the table. Wil got up to get their food before Y/n started talking to it, “So this is number four dress fancy and go to McDonalds. Wil’s getting us food but yeah future Y/n cut to a fit check while I wait for Wilbur and our food.” The two got back to school in record time only being around five minutes late to their classes due to Y/n needing them to take a mirror selfie for the documentary. While teachers were a little unhappy with their tardiness they luckily didn’t get into trouble. If only they knew the trouble that was about to come…

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