#kinda hurts when you think abt everything in the present

[saetgvia]

genshin boys takin care of u on ur monthly

im back from the void of no content

im feeling berry soft and fluffy so enJOY the boys taking care of fem!reader on her period :)

characters: wriothesley, lyney, alhaitham, xiao

tw: periods (duh), staining sheets in wrio’s one, lmk if i forgot anything :D

also also i wanna make a pt. 2 pls drop any characters u want in my asks or comments ily guys enjoy

also does anyone know how to add the blue

read more tag on mobile/browser? tyty

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wriothesley

- kay so idk him really well needa finish archon quest but he would treat you like a QUEEN

- whatever u need he has it

- bro is chill af and knows what hes doing

- will get cuddly LMAO

- he js wants to pamper u

- so he does :D

- if u stain anything he’ll be calm and change the sheets and everything while u take care of urself

- cooks for u

- reminds u to take painkillers if u need them

- soft kisses heh

- movie marathons!!

- takes care of ur EVERY CRAVING

lyney

- determined to do ANYTHING to make u smile

- so he’ll pull random bouquets out of his pocket and present them to u

- or pretend to do a trick and kiss ur nose instead

- he is SO asking lynette for advice

- poor boy panics a lil even tho he knows how normal this is and he has a sister

- but he’s never really bothered too much abt it before

- he knows how to deal with it but he just wants to make u happy

- he treats u so well aww

- cooks for u

- makes everything cheesy

- like little smiley face rice balls

- or an egg cooked in a heart shape

- so many cuddles

- i love him

alhaitham

- so chill and nonchalant

- gets u wtv u need

- cooks for u

- ion think he’s a very big cuddler but if u need him he’ll hold u

- forehead and nose kisses

- he’ll hold ur hand a lot and like run his thumb on the back

- when he does hold u its u sitting on a couch binging movies with ur head on his chest and his fingers in ur hair

- he does acts of service to help lessen ur load

xiao

- he’s basically js confused

- ‘human women… bleed… for a week every month… and don’t die??’ WHAT SORCERY IS THis

- like lyney poor boy panics a bit

- he’s been around for millennia but this thing can get him flustered

- always nervous to hold u and kinda doesn’t want to but he will for u

- cooks for u obv

- always checking up on u, asking if u need anything

- ‘here, i got this for you’ (insert literally anything he randomly saw and thought would make u smile)

- constantly asking if it hurts

- you tell him to chill and he goes ‘HOW CAN I WHEN YOURE HURTING’ and ugh hes so soft and silly

- takes extra care of u

- constant vigilance

- so sweet

GUYS i think i’ll make a pt. 2 so again, if you have any reqs for this or any other fics drop ‘em in my asks or comments ily all <3

[ghoulsbounty]

can you make a fic abt baby billy and like being one of his wives or like when he's on the run from tiff idrk depends on what you want to do

A Fall From Grace

Uncle Baby Billy Freeman x Fem!Reader

Summary: Baby Billy comes seeking comfort, and you are always willing to shoulder the burden.

Warnings: smut (18+), backshot, cum eating (kinda), p in v, alluding to an affair, mentions of religious beliefs relating to the show, angst, alcohol, smoking, emotional hurt/comfort, reader pining for baby billy, dejection.

Word Count: 1.7K

A/N: Anon and anon, thank you for requesting that I write for this emotionally stunted baby man. I love him, I love the show, and the world needs Baby Billy fics! This is set before he is with Tiff (because I love her.) I’d love to know what you all think to this, and feel free to send me more requests 💌

You longed to utter the words, to express disbelief at finding yourself in this familiar game of cat and mouse once more. But honesty was a luxury you couldn't afford, not when your conscience was already weighed down by a litany of sins. Each lie added to the burden, and you couldn't bear to heap more upon your soul.

There was a time, not so long ago, you walked the path of life with a sense of purpose and righteousness. Like any devout believer, you diligently carried out God's will, spreading His word among the neighbours of Pumpkintown. But then, on a scorching summer's day, destiny led you through Freeman's Gap, where you found yourself standing at his doorstep. From that moment, everything changed.

Baby Billy, with his irresistible charm and captivating façade, swiftly drew you into his intricate web of deception. His presence cast a shadow over your once-virtuous existence, blurring the boundaries between right and wrong. In his company, your convictions faltered, and the very essence of your faith began to erode. Slowly but surely, he transformed you from a devout Christian into a mere echo of your former self.

No matter how many times you had promised yourself that this would be the last time, that you wouldn't let it happen again, it all amounted to more lies to add to the growing list. When he reappeared in your life after an eighteen-month absence, you were poised to slam the door shut in his face. But he possessed a silver tongue that could persuade the sun to set twice.

So here you were, pressed face down against the mattress, your skin glistening with sweat as he drove into you from behind. This was your preferred position; it prevented him from gazing at you with adoration, as if you were the centre of his universe, while he consumed every inch of your being. It made it easier to bear his departure after he was done with you, when he didn't linger. The ache in your chest always remained, but your time with Baby Billy had made you realize that you were nothing if not resilient.

Your gaze lingered on the half-empty bottle of gin perched on the bedside table. It was his customary offering, always referred to as your favourite. Whether it truly held that distinction was a matter of uncertainty, but you always accepted it. Flowers and chocolate might have softened the edges of your encounters with him, but they could never dull the sharp pang of inevitable loss you’d feel when he returned to whichever-number wife he was on.

"I'll accept the bottle, but not the intent," you would murmur each time he presented it, extending the gesture like an olive branch. His eyes would gleam with anticipation, tinged with a hint of apprehension, as he waited to be welcomed in. How many lies had you accumulated by now?

More than you cared to count. This self-proclaimed righteous man of God would lead you to the depths of hell itself if it meant avoiding solitude, and you would willingly follow. That was the truth.

"Haven't lost you now, have I?" His voice snapped you out of your trance, his hips grinding against your backside with a fervour that seemed desperate to anchor you to him.

Clutching the sheets tightly, your knuckles turned white as you shook your head. "I'm here, Baby Billy."

He chuckled, his hands gripping the flesh of your hips as he pulled back slightly before thrusting back in with force. Your walls tightened around him, drawing out the most obscene moans from his lips as he maintained an unfaltering rhythm.

"You're always here for Baby Billy," he remarked with a hint of satisfaction. "You're a good girl."

The words ignited a surge of conflicting emotions within you, sending sparks flying through your mind. Somewhere deep within, a wire seemed to short circuit, and you found yourself instinctively grinding your hips back against him, matching his movements.

"Damn," he sighed, his voice heavy with gratification, as one hand dropped to your front. His fingers traced along your wet folds until he found the sensitive bundle of nerves, eliciting a high-pitched wail from your lips. "Well, if that ain't the prettiest thing I've ever heard."

His other hand released your hip, fingers tangling in your hair as he pulled you against his sticky chest. The new position drove him deeper, your head leaning back against his shoulder in the crook of his neck as he slowed to a heavy grind. His fingers continued their expert ministrations on your clit, tracing familiar circles, while his other hand left your hair to grab harshly at your breast, pinching your nipple just as he knew you liked.

"Let me see you now," he panted. You hadn't realized you'd squeezed your eyes shut until he slapped your clit with an open palm, causing you to flinch against him, and when you opened them, he was looking down at you with those hazel eyes that sucked you in every time. "There she is. Tell Baby Billy what you want from him."

He always did this, despite your attempts to bury your face into the mattress to hide from what you were doing with him. He always found a way to make you look at him, to confront your demons and tell him what you desired most from him. It was as if he couldn't let you come out of this unscathed, regardless of his claims that he needed you right there with him.

He didn't truly need you, not in the sense of wanting you for anything more than warming his cock and easing the burden of the life he had created for himself. You were a distraction from the suffering he had caused, never once caring for your own.

You wished you could refuse him. In every other aspect of your life, you were strong, but when it came to Baby Billy Freeman, your resolve wavered with just one look. Perhaps it was the underlying desperation he always seemed to exude, making you feel sorry for him, as if you were providing a service by temporarily alleviating his misery. Eventually, you stopped trying to make sense of it, allowing it to happen and taking from it what you wanted, what you needed.

"I want to cum," you breathed against the skin of his neck, then remembered what he always liked to hear. "Please, Baby Billy."

The familiar tightening in your stomach signalled your impending climax, and he seemed to sense it too, his movements growing more urgent as your walls fluttered around him, drawing him deeper with each thrust. His fingers worked faster against your clit, pushing you closer to the edge. Your eyes rolled back as your orgasm ripped through you, your body convulsing against his as you cried out into the silence of the bedroom.

He grunted, continuing to thrust into you through your orgasm, your walls milking him as you pulsed around him. Your body went limp as the last surge of electricity shot through you, and he tossed you back onto the mattress to reach his own release. A few more thrusts, then you felt the tell-tale stutter of his hips before he withdrew completely, leaving your pussy feeling empty and used. The sound of your juices squelching around him filled the room as he used them to pleasure himself, pumping once, twice before finally cumming hard onto your ass with a shout of release.

You laid there, your sweaty face pressed against the sticky cotton sheet as you slowly grounded yourself back to reality. He panted above you, running a finger over the curves of your ass, scooping his release from you before bringing it to your mouth. You accepted it, your tongue swirling around his finger, lips closing around him as you sucked the salty mixture and swallowed it down. It was a habit he enjoyed, claiming that if he couldn't cum inside you, he at least wanted to ensure you received what he was giving in some way. It had become a routine you found yourself needing more than you cared to admit.

He withdrew his finger, delivering a sharp slap to your ass before rising from the bed. The mattress groaned with his movement, and you lay still as he carried out his next habitual task. Moments later, he returned, a lit cigarette between his lips and a wet cloth in his hand as he gently cleaned off the evidence of his release from your behind before tossing it onto the bedside table with a wet thwack. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he leaned over you with an arm resting on the mattress. You turned onto your back underneath him, running your fingers over his forearm as he looked down at you.

"Don't look at me like that," you said, tracing patterns through the hair on his arm.

"Like what, angel?" he asked, his voice tinged with amusement as he brought the cigarette to your lips. You took a drag before he reclaimed it, exhaling slowly as your eyes met his.

"Like you might love me," you whispered.

He chuckled, briefly glancing away before returning his gaze to you. "Maybe I do."

Once, you believed you loved him, back when you were still innocent to the manipulative games he played and your part in it all. But that belief didn't last long; you soon learned to shut it out, along with the company of men who weren't him.

"Right girl, wrong time," he had once told you, but you quickly learned that the right time would never come.

For Baby Billy, love wasn't in the equation. It soon became clear that he merely enjoyed the possession of you. You were like an old toy to him, tossed aside until he desired to play with you again. Your emotions, your needs, they were secondary to his whims, serving only to satisfy his fleeting desires.

Baby Billy Freeman didn't love you, he loved having you.

He would depart soon, leaving you with uncertainty about when you would see him again. Yet, deep down, you knew he would return. He always did, seeking refuge in your presence to distract himself from the harsh realities of his life. And you would be there for him, as you always were.

Because unfortunately, somewhere along the way of Baby Billy using you like a drug, you had become addicted yourself.

[spiderrcakezzz]

I present: My Sparklecare self-insert Nea! <3 🧁♡

(Me rambling abt pup utc <33)

Okay firstly: Nea is alright to kin as of now, but please respect my wishes if I choose to change this later on! ♡  I can't make any promises that I'll still feel like this in the future :P

————

🧁 • Nea's likes: stuffed animals, Twyla (their girlfriend), drawing, making OCs, Tiniest Ferry Shop, cute things, receiving attention & praise, physical affection, making others happy, kandi, video games, laughing off negative/hard emotions.

Dislikes: feeling second best/inferior to others, loud noises, being yelled at, seeing those they care about getting hurt, taking care of themself (Nea sometimes considers it a waste of time), stumbling over their words & feeling like they're talking too much, being unable to help.

🌈 • Nea is ⅓ cat, ⅓ cake anthry, and ⅓ dog! :3 (hence why they have 1 dog ear & 1 cat ear, and only half of their body has cat/cake or dog features).

They worked as a nurse at Sparklecare for ~1 year before being demoted to a patient, due to Nea unfortunately getting diagnosed w/ glows-a-lot. Nea wanted to help others when they first applied for the job, and they already had an interest in things like medicine, so becoming a nurse at The Best hospital in CountryTownCountry seemed like a good idea to them.

🐕 • Personality traits (ones not listed in the card) :

Apathetic: due to Nea primarily using apathy as one of their defense mechanisms, they can sometimes not care about what happens around them, including about the people around them.

Nea is sometimes distant or partially emotionally disconnected from others, and unsympathetic to others problems (<- That doesn't mean Nea won't try to help, though. They're still empathetic). This occasional lack of concern for basically everything can also cause them to act self-destructive in one way or another. They'll always feel bad/guilty about it afterwards, though.

Simple-minded: Nea can be naive at times and not really immediately understand things (atleast not as deeply) that others do, causing them to not help but feel sorta out of place. They think pretty literally most of the time, and though this trait has been kinda helpful in solving some of Nea's problems over the years, it can also make Nea seem childish/silly in a way.

🍨• They're on good terms w/ most patients in the hospital! <3  Some patients they're on the best terms w/ is their girlfriend Twyla Light (my partners self-insert :3), Mel N. Colly, Uni, Hemera (for the most part), Jay, Carrie, and Raye N. Bowe (one of my friends self-insert)! ♡♡ (Oh and Nea is also in a qpr w/ nurse Doom atm, but Shh you didn't hear it from me)

The least best terms is Barry. That's It . Nea respects him for his intelligence and such, but Nea would be lying if they said they didn't find Barry kinda annoying. (Pup does sorta(???) like him bcuz Uni likes him, and Nea trusts Uni, but Nea doesn't entirely like Barry on pups own accord :P)

[mondothebombo]

Mondo 👉👈 could you explain all the ways you connect the song Home to Wytyaa?…. Like Important Lyrics. I have been listening to it a lot and I need to know for reasons. :)

oli you have no idea how long i’ve been waiting for someone to ask this. all the lyrics are technically important, and i may or may not have storyboarded scenes to this song in my head lmaooo. i’ve been wanting to talk abt this for SO FUCKING LONG so here we go!!!

Often I am upset that I cannot fall in love but I guess

This avoids the stress of falling out of it

jay doubting whether nya actually wants to be with him or if she’s just pitying him, when he wakes up from passing out in chap 6

Are you tired of me yet?

I'm a little sick right now but I swear

When I'm ready I will fly us out of here

this is jay noticing the others are getting worried and him sitting with all his bad thoughts, also as him talking to nya, kinda like “once i get my shit together and get over this, i’ll make things better”

I'll cut my hair

To make you stare

jay and nya both subtly subconsciously changing their appearances to separate themselves from what happened

I'll hide my chest

And I'll figure out a way to get us out of here

jay hiding his scars and trying to ignore everything for nya’s sake, intending to keep his promise of fixing his mistakes

Turn off your porcelain face

jays facade dropping and the others getting progressively more worried

I can't really think right now in this place

cole confronting jay abt his scars and jay getting overstimulated he lashes out

There's too many colors enough to drive all of us insane

jay freaking out when he gets high from the pain meds and yelling at kai for touching him the day after alec breaks his wrist

Are you dead?

jay seeing nya’s dead body when he looks at her

Sometimes I think I'm dead

jay/nya feeling the phantom pains

'Cause I can feel ghosts and ghouls wrapping my head

jay hearing nadakhan’s and the pirates voices in his head

But I don't wanna fall asleep just yet

jay having that dream

My eyes went dark

nya finding out abt the SA

I don't know where

My pupils are

jay looking in the mirror and hating his eye/scars

But I'll figure out a way to get us out of here

again, jay trying to be ok for nya

Get a load of this monster

He doesn't know how to communicate

this is most definitely jay thinking his friends hate him while he’s alone on the ship

His mind is in a different place

jay spacing out during scrap n tap, thinking of how the others see him

Will everybody please give him a little bit of space

transition back to him training with lloyd the day after he resets time and freaking out, accidentally hurting lloyd in the process

Get a load of this train-wreck

His hair's a mess and he doesn't know who he is yet

this is him stuck in the memories and believing everything nadakhan and the pirates said abt him, hallucinating and seeing nadakhan at random times

But little do we know, the stars

Welcome him with open arms

slowly fades to the present, where the others keep trying to prove they love him

Time is

nya and jay having the conversation where she talks abt the extent of her trauma

Slowly

jay and nya laughing together while lightly training in the middle of the night

Tracing his face

their talk w wu when he says he’s proud of them

But strangely he feels at home in this place

and finally, the last scene of chapter 7, where jay and nya come and sit with the others after their talk w wu, and jay finally cries with relief as he cuddles w the others

i hope i explained this well enough, please feel free to ask me if anything needs clarification :D

[d3ard3ughter]

Alex survives the fight with tim but due to the fact, the severity of the injures (medical special interest at play here) he can no longer speak, Alex internalizes deserving it

Like he can live with the disability it’s not what bothers him even if it takes adjusting its the guilt

Maybe alex gets back the traveling flannel to do communication

Before he starts learning to sign

Tim feels real guilty for it and alex is also drowning in his own guilt and tim is trying ro help

Alex is pushing him away too

They’ll cuddle but alex doesn’t wanna talk

Tim will bring him paper

He’ll sign to him because hes learning too but alex is unresponsive to it for a while

And alexs just kinda in a stupor

Because whats the point of being spared after all hes done even if its for the right thing

Hes not going out of his way ro do anything to himself he doesn’t have tbe energy but he sure as fuck isn’t going out his way ro do what he needs ro as well

Tim sees bit of his younger self in alex tbere i think

It’s passive sucidial ideation and alex won’t stop any situations if they happen

Tims scared with that for a bit too

Because he’s experienced both sides of actively and not actively and he knows alex won’t actively do something but maybe even a simple task will lead to something

Hes just trying to get him to eat too

Do things

He washes his hair for him and stuff

Plus the semi-dating relationship too they have iys so hard ro explain and then alex will cry id they explain

Trying to celebrate alexs birthday

Jess comes by too

And alex has been dreading being face to face with jess and she doesn’t seem mad

Hes just scared how shes gonna look at him and why she’d wanna come by

Tim ans jess make the cake and all

They try talking

Talk about things and jay comes up and jess tries to circle bacj

And alex stops responding + amy finding tbe camera on Alex’s birthday so…No judgment with it either

Basic reminders too

“Sit up in the tub”

“Drink some water”

Tims trying his hardest

It’s never quite defined but they basically are dating despite everything

I’ve thought about that too

Its such a somber time probably

And + jess reminds him of amy and jay

Specifically disregarding all memories in general

They bring presents and all and alex just wants to curl up

Hes not made to do anything but jess’ presence just has him not having it

+her behaving so gently ro him because thats not how jess behaves and he knows its not because od the disability is just because of that fragile mental state Tim knows alex is smart too so he knows alex is liable to just let something happen

So sit up

Hes gotta sit up

Alex calls her on it and jess is also like “im still piecing stuff together and i don’t know if you’re okay with how i normally behave” But also tim knows the thought process

Tims just making sure

He sees the scarring on alexs neck when they’re cuddling too maybe he traces it and such

Alex lets him

Going out the way he make his favorite food and stuff to try and give motivation when he’s trying to get him to eat

Alex makes it a little easier because he feels bad about making tim so much when he doesn’t have to and he shouldn’t and so he doesn’t stay on his leg too long

Maybe jess tries behaving a bit (this is hc they wrre all friends as kids propaganda

normal to see how it goes but she’s treading carefully and alex just asks her why she would even wanna see him Jess also sticking with “we’re all we have left, we stick together. You aren’t just leaving me like that.”

And alex says shw shoukdnt Tim has Alex’s gun for obvious reasons

Alex still has the picture of amy under his pillow

He has a little wall of old pictures

But he refuses to touch any photo books ars film of back then

Also tim probably was the one who went out of his way to get alex ro thw hospital and alex says he should’ve left him because he wouldn’t feel like this

And why him and not jay but he doesn’t say that because he knows itd be hurtful and he doesn’t have to worry abt something slipping because he has to do it to say stuff he thinks its a blessing his mouth cant fuck shit uo anymore

And he knows it’d probably be selfish for jay to live and suffer too and to let tim know he thought that

Alex thinks he should’ve just choked on his blood and laid there

Cold like sarah

Maybe he could’ve not stabbed her stopped it or gotten her help but he let her bleed and he didn’t have to shoot jay he could’ve not

His hands were on amys neck he had control he could’ve not he couldve let go

He couldve kept seth alive

And brian wouldn’t of fallen in succession ro everything And alex wants to cry but it’s all he’s done about this and about everything in his life

But it’s his stress response and he hates it but another fic I have planned

[ashmp3]

What designers do you want to see jeonghan wear/etc?

when u start reading this u will understand the despair i felt when tumblr deleted my reply (just as i was finishing the margiela part) But we live… so okay i must warn you this is long and i made collages bc there was way too many pictures i wanted to show… One thing about me i don’t like to half ass things so i really hope you enjoy reading all this 🫶🏻 (this is one of my favorite questions i got asked EVER)

I wanted to start off with Jolo (Jeonghan solo) first just because i have that on my pinterest saved and Ready. You know i envision kind of fallen angel (1004) for one concept and venusian otherworldly beautiful man that it makes you uneasy for the other concept? Okay so first one some of the inspiration (versace ss02, mugler 84, givenchy (by mcqueen) haute couture 1997, mcqueen fw 06, blumarine ss24)

Second one i just think simone rocha all over… it would fit his whimsical looking ass…And this JPG look with the pearls AND the givenchy all white beauty just yes… Oh i adore.

Now let’s get into the Real Question. Need to make it clear that the fashion houses i mention are the ones i love (for myself aka it’s my taste aka the fits you see I ALSO WANT) so yes it’s biased a bit but i do always keep a tab on jeonghan so this is not something i just came up with… TRUST!

first of all i need to start with YSL (i just saw his ig story. Please) bc i BELIEVE that they will make him their muse. i just feel it in my intuitive soul and mind…. Anyway i already posted some looks i want to see him but it doesn’t hurt to get reminded. Sidenote i REALLY need to see him become part of snowflake community (i’m the president ofc) i just need to see him in a pretty šubara it is my right as his slavic woman…

peter do. I need him to hit up jeonghan… it’s possible like jeno walked for him can he please hop over to hybe i have a perfect person in mind…..

alexander mcqueen… that’s kinda a no brainer you know how much i love structured, sleek design of course i would love jeonghan in them too… Imagine his tiny waist in these just magnificent if you ask me…. And the little bunny bag. don’t even get me started on that i have ZERO words

now i know he is a very cozy man and likes his outfits to be baggy so much that you don’t even see his body. May i present him with some yohji yamamoto in my opinion he would rock everything AND would feel cozy and comfy like he does in his giant hoodies. Going with the cozy (bc i am afraid i will go over the picture limit) i have to (lump them together) and mention margiela - i am actually surprised i haven’t seen any svt man in tabis but there is still time 🫣 With that ofc comes early 00s hermes which is my favorite… (i didn’t post my f/w fits here bc i had other blog but i will this year and u will see what i’m talking about)

mugler… Let me not repeat myself the pictures can talk for themselves and in this case (bc again i got over the 10 pic limit) i gotta group him them with gucci (by tom ford it’s given) so we are talking maybe fw 96 with velvet suits or 1995 … Actually 1995 fits so well bc he is 95 baby okay okay SEE connections…. I need to be his stylist he would look so cunt.

i think schiaparelli would be good on him (manifesting. again if i could just have a word with his stylist.)

Had to delete anne demeulemeester paragraph i am sorry but this next collage was more important so it was a fight and anne lost. ANYWAY I would LOVE to see him in custom dilara findikoglu like imagine it says jeonghan dangling… similar to this i would love for him to have a todd oldham shirt with his name like nadja does here (a big cozy shirt bc he’s so difficult abt it…) This egonlab outfit i adore i had it saved i think it would suit him perfectly. and this haider ackermann leather wrap coat. and this vivianne westwood winter hat. and this 2123 shirts. And i think i should stop now before someone euthanizes me!

This got SO long i could talk about this for ages and i am sorry if this was all over the place i would make a powerpoint presentation if i had time. but i need to stop myself from exhibiting signs of mental illness on my dear blog. But i hope this was fun to read… I hope 🫶🏻

[cheemken]

Another thing about Drayton that I've latched onto is his line about how 'you don't want to see me ugly cry' when you battle him. It makes me wonder how he'd cry exactly.

I'm torn between two types. One is that he's the sort to get really quiet when he cries. Just suppressing it full force, shoulders shaking and tears just sliding down his face. In private too cause it's not cool to be caught like that, and maybe he'd grab a pillow or something to muffle sobs but after like 5-10 mins, it's like a switch flipped. He calms down, washes his face and proceeds with his day normally. Sidesteps any and all questions about why his eyes look red rimmed and puffy.

Another is that he is an ugly crier. Just full on sobbing, snot and tears going down his face. Trying to wipe away but it just keeps coming. Kinda lashing out at people who try to get close or comfort him. He hates feeling this way, hates having others see him like this but it's just too much to pretend that he's fine right now. When he's calmed down, just rough scrubs to his face and then quick exit, ignoring people calling out to him.

Now what would make him cry like that is the big question haha

Oh bet he represses everything, and I mean every single thing lmfaoo

But I also imagine him being a mix of both in a way, like, he doesn't show it to anyone else ofc, he would never ever cry in public, that's so uncool in his words, but once he's alone it just,, it's a gradual thing, it builds up y'know, it's like the feeling of anxiety, where your chest feels tight and your throat feels dry and you can feel every nerve in your body almost pulsing just beneath your skin, and suddenly every little problem starts to pile up on him, until it reaches its peak and he just,,, tears up, tries to stop them, trying so hard, so hard he's trying so hard why can't they see that I'm trying and until he starts to really ugly cry, like, his chest hurts y'know, broken sobs echo within the room as he tries so hard to calm himself down, until his pokemon come out to try and calm him, until he lashes out on them, until he falls to his knees, falls to the floor, his Dragonite nuzzling close to him, hoping it's enough comfort without really hugging him, without having to risk him panicking again from being held too tight

And they wait for him y'know, wait till he's the one reaching out for them, wait till he's the one clinging to his pokemon, holding them tight, closer, impossibly closer, at least they won't leave him

Ofc, his process is still slow, after his tears were shed, he'd just,,, sit there or lie down and look up at the ceiling, letting the last remnants of his tears to fall before he takes a deep breath, let's it out, and sits upright again, chuckling to himself, saying shit like "well, that was something, huh?" And after he makes sure he looks presentable, he goes on his day as if he didn't just cry for almost thirty minutes

Low-key tho but other than being compared to his fam, I think his academic record would kinda haunt him, cause like yeah, he knows he's a strong trainer, he has no doubts with that, but he knows he's struggling w class and while he's so chill abt it, repeating his school year kinda messed with him a bit. Maybe that, and maybe the whispers abt him too ofc, how he knows other people doubt if he really wants to be a Dragon Master like Drayden and Iris, he is from a family of Dragon Masters, so why isn't he making more of an effort to become one? Idk but yeah hahaha

[oysterie]

complaining abt a little life under cut because ppl on ig are still obsessed w it apparently -_- shit book

like putting aside other issues w yanagihara, i do not think a little life is as worthless as other ppl make it out to be and i stand by my 2.5 star rating. like, imo you should read it as a horror story of sorts about a man who, after horrible traumatic experiences, just refuses to seek help and work on getting better and how his choice to not do those things affect his life and hurt the people around him who love him. ofc none of the things that happen are his fault yet he continues to blame himself and see himself as ruined because of these events both from his childhood and adult life. The writing itself was good, the character voices were distinct enough and descriptions were well done (though i do agree w the person who said that she should be writing travel blogs/advertisements rather then novels because there is no reason for her to go street by street in nyc; it gets egregious at times). She does a good job in slowely revealing the information abt Judes past to us in a way that is agonizingly drawn out but rarely frustratingly slow. Judes line of thought is believable and thats the main thing that she needed to do and she did it well despite how frustrating it is at times. But thats from the outside looking in ofc and its supposed to be that Jude is behind this wall out of reach from both everyone in his life and the audience and it works well. like can she make emotional moments? yes. Does that mean that they are examples of good writing? yeah no. Like, its completely egregious in its torture of this guy to the point of unbelievability. At some point she should have just said "yeah i can get the same point across while cutting this scene and that one too etc". Like, not to discount people's experiences but when writing a book thats like focused on hyperrealism present day then you need to not prioritize the torture porn over a well paced, believable story. Then on top of that its like ofc this guy went to one ivy league school adn then harvard law and also some other ivy league for a masters and ofc his whole friend group became immensly successful in each of their chosen careers etc etc like okay alright whatever. Becomes eye roll inducing at some point like i get that theyre in nyc and we see their slow rise up from barely affording their appartment to becoming rich but still was everything necessary. idk its a nitpick kinda not really. Beyond that its 13 r.easons why levels of unnecessary graphic depictions that add nothing (like im fine w gore or depictions of injury but the first time was enough not every single scene finding new metaphores and descriptions to carry). Was just drawn out like she enjoyed tortoring this guy lol. anyways bad novel it is torture porn etc but not as competely worthless as other make it but if you put it on your best books ever list youre objectively wrong and need to have a better metric for if a book was good beyond "made me sad" lmfao. also no one should read this book it sucks.

[fruity-phrog]

ok hi i read ur anon post i agree w everything n now i NEEED 2 know allll of ur thoughts abt colinmichael + colin's arc and also if u have any colinjamie/ bi jamie or roy hcs. love love love ur blog!!!!!😌💓💓💓🫂

First off, the serotonin you two anons are giving me is insane, this is such a nice ask and I am very happy rn. Thank you for actively inviting me to discuss my hyperfixation.

So most of my thoughts are compiled in the aforementioned anon post, but I have more so here you go:

Since you mentioned Colin's arc, there's something I've noticed. Ever since Colin has been canonicalized as queer, and even before when people simply headcanoned him as queer, his entire arc and history has been pretty much erased. He's not just this closeted guy on the team. He was a dick to Nate for the most of s1 and maybe even some of s2, but then had an uno reverse card pulled on him and got bullied. His character was developed throughout the seasons, especially when Jamie left. He began to change and stopped being Isaac's cocky right hand man. This is something most people forget as he progresses, something I think we need to remember simply because it's a part of his character.

I think that when Isaac and Jamie find out Colin and Michael are dating they will not let Colin forget Michael's height. Isaac definitely makes fun of Colin's height even though he's the same height as Jamie, so for him to be dating a man smaller than him? Instant comedy.

As for bisexual Jamie... firstly, just look at that man. Singular dangly earring. Ridiculous sitting positions. Eyebrow slits. Istg if he turns up one day with black nail polish I'm gonna throw something at my computer. But also, I think he doesn't really understand attraction to men. Obviously, with a dad like that, he has his fair share of toxic masculinity hurting his chances of coming to terms with any kind of sexuality. But I feel like sometimes, maybe as a kid or maybe as an adult, he'll look at a man and feel something and immediately go "Nope this is jealousy I am jealous nope nope nope". Also he definitely had a crush on Roy as a kid. But I'm not to sure about Jamie x Roy in the present. They strike me as more big brother/little brother vibes, but I can definitely see where the shippers are coming from.

And since we're talking about gay Ted Lasso - Barbara 100% has a crush on Rebecca. It's just a fact. She has a crush on her. Maybe that will segway into bisexual Keely being brought back because even though it's already canon no one talks about it.

Actually, I'm going to touch on that as well. Keely is canonically bisexual. Colin wasn't the first queer character - Keely was. "If I'm going to dip my toes back into the lady pool, I can't think of a better body of water to do it with than you." I know it was played off as a joke but it's still canon. I'll actually be quite disappointed if they don't revisit that because the GA has completely ignored it. Keely. Jones. Is. Bisexual. This is a fact.

Okay I've once again diverged from the plot of the ask so I'll steer it back with a theory (kinda). I mentioned this briefly in a post but I really want Colin to stand up against Isaac and the team's comments. Nothing much, just "That's rude". And when Isaac jokes about if Colin's gay, he just says "Yeah. I am. And I want you to stop it". He needs to address the things he said to stay in the closet and I'd love it to be like that.

I actually wrote a random fluff oneshot for Colin coming out. I still think he'll be outed, but I'd love for him to have some control before that happens.

Okie that is my rant. Thank you for asking, and thank you for the compliment about my blog! Have a nice and gay day <3

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

i wonder how exactly do people manage to get diagnosis? i'm suspecting i might have high-functioning depression, because in the past month all i do is sleep and eat and not shower for... days. i only shower when i feel very greasy. changing into proper clothes feels like a bother, so i never went out to get food, and rely on online delivery instead. seeing how much money i wasted bc i get deliveries instead of walking to food stalls is kinda alarming, but i'm aware that the other alternative is me not even eating at all. i only go to my campus like... 3x a week? i can manage to appear normal and feel a bit normal when with my friends, but my thesis is also pretty stressful. idk what i'm trying to convey but basically at campus i appear normal (except maybe my slow progress at thesis), but when i'm back at my dorms i become this... very passive person.

i'm seeing a therapist, mainly bc back when my thesis first started, i got so overwhelmed i had passive suicidal thoughts. but i find myself not being able to be honest abt the extent of my struggles. i'm very embarrassed to admit that i've been having difficulty with hygiene. my therapist gives off a mom vibe, so i think i'm scared to be judged for my lack of hygiene... not showering for days, not even changing my clothes or underwear, not brushing my teeth, not cleaning my living space and letting ants surround leftover food... so i always made myself presentable during session. idk, seeing as the session is in-person, i dont think she'd take it well if she know someone who didnt bathe for days entered her clean room. but me pretending that everything is okay makes her think im just having normal thesis struggles, which sucks. but im also scared to be honest abt my hygiene issues.

another thing is my social anxiety. its actually so bad that i cant go out of my dorm room without making sure there arent anyone outside. im not acquainted with anyone in the dorm, i dont even know their names or how they look. but im also scared to tell my therapist abt this??? im scared she will tell me to make friends to overcome my anxiety??? which is scary??? i feel self conscious bc what if someone has been paying attention to how i barely ever leave my room or that they never hear any showering sounds from me??? idk its scary. im pretty sure i have social anxiety, but my therapist has managed to make me open up and im not super quiet during sessions and can behave mostly like myself so i unconsciously put on a mask that always makes me be in denial abt my issues (in this case, pretending i have proper social skills, instead of admittinh i shrivel in fear when put in new social situations)

my thesis is also very much in bad state but instead of telling my therapist that my advisor thinks i havent been taking the thesis seriously (which hurts, bc i do worry abt its progress, even if it looks like im not making proper progress), i tell her that my worries arent proportional to the reality (bc my catastrophizing mind thought i would need to redo everything, while the reality is i only got told to make changes).

tldr im scared to be honest to my therapist bc of internalized shame and all that, even tho thats the reason i decided to pursue therapy? but also its scaryyy. esp the hygiene part. ppl around me are the clean types who hates messy stuff so i think it exacerbates the shame. esp bc i dont just have a messy room, but also havent been showering for days

Hi anon,

First of all I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling. Please know you're not alone. I admit that I also struggle with hygiene in a very similar way as well as consistently eating takeout, and I have diagnosed depression. It sounds like you have some big and intimidating responsibilities right now, and that's perhaps feeding into your depressive symptoms. You feel overwhelmed, misunderstood, and lost.

I understand the resistance to open up to your therapist about things that you have internalized shame about. Please just know that one of the main purposes of a therapist is to not make you feel judged or ridiculed, and any therapist who does do this doesn't deserve their position because it's damaging to a client. That is the last thing you need right now.

I can definitely relate to feeling judged by your therapist solely out of internalized shame alone and not any sort of cues on their end. In my experience, every time I did decide to open up about the thing I was ashamed about, it always ended up going much better than I anticipated. That being said, if you are picking up on cues from your therapist that makes you feel like she would judge you for opening up about this, then this therapist may not be a good fit for you. You deserve a therapist that doesn't make you feel judged.

I recognize that it can be an intimidating hurdle to decide to talk about these uncomfortable subjects with your therapist. But please consider that once you do choose to talk about it, your therapist can give you tools and direction to figure out how to manage both your depression and your social anxiety. Ultimately, it's important to take your time with this - don't feel pressured necessarily into opening up to your therapist, do so when you feel ready, but just consider the fact that you deserve help.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[bo0zey]

I hope you're doing ok, I only read about what happened at riot fest through someone who saw some of the people who fainted and had to be taken out, but to be in the situation that you were is so terrifying. I really wish I could whisk you to another concert of theirs, it breaks my heart that arseholes who have no regard to others' wellbeing ruined your experience. (And reading your post about how gerard was trying to control the crowd, I couldn't stop thinking about how disturbing it must have been to watch people fainting left and right and having to be surfed out of the crowd, and people still continuing to push.)

i'm okay!<3 i went home and hit the Hay afterwards lol. my abdominal cavity was still rlly sore tho lol like i couldn't eat my burrito once i got home :( which i shouldve expected cuz i couldnt even drink water without sharp stabbing pangs from my diaphragm n intestines still on bad terms with each other skjskjng . but i was better the next day :) . and i was so sad for the band you're 100% correct i can't imagine what they must've been thinking up there having to perform while so many people were getting hurt :/ . like gerard handled everything so well, better than the event organizers ffs, and i was so mad because then the tabloids were released ranking the 13 most "dangerous bands/crowds" at riot fest & MCR was right up there and it's like!!!!!! the band was doing everything they could to keep the crowd safe, pausing between every damn song, literally ZERO bantering from gee in between because he was too busy counting the steps he wanted the crowd to take back.

that's why i'm still kinda annoyed abt me almost fainting bc i know it's not my fault but i still feel so stupid n weak bc i feel like everyone thinks it's my fault too and i 'couldn't hang' but i was literally being crushed from all four sides of my body and my nose was in this stinky bitch's armpit like:((( it's not fair. and like i tried not to let the fact that i was almost barrier, ~1hr away from seeing the band whose music was literally the only thing i listened to from 12-16yrs old when my mom was sick and dying and i deadass had nothing left that resonated with me aside from mcr & the boys' side projects for 4 years straight. it sounds corny as fuck but it honestly felt like a dream come true to be able to see them live and so up close like??

but i'm not gonna lie i couldn't stay positive lol. i was in a fog and dissociated for their entire set. n like the fact that i was 1000000s of feet away from my original spot so i couldn't even see them on stage, just the big screen, it just made the dissociation worse because everything had already looked and felt unreal and now mcr felt unreal too but like in the worst way possible, like they actually WERE NOT real and i was watching a youtube video at home lol. and i've literally never tried so hard in my LIFE to re-ground myself because i wanted to be at least somewhat present for this once in a lifetime chance u know?? so i tried singing along but i couldn't because it made the shooting pains so much worse. then i tried just mouthing the words but the pain kept getting worse and i literally had to leave during the middle of TKFY because i was getting nauseous and lightheaded again. aside from the pain i truly couldn't feel anything while watching them perform i was just so numb from everything and i couldn't stop crying because i deadass felt zero happiness, and that realization made me cry more because they weren't even happy tears, they weren't the ones i'd expected to cry. it was honestly one of the worst feelings i've ever experienced, feeling nothing, just numb as fuck inside despite being live and present at the concert of the band that had at one point made me feel everything, every emotion, tenfold all at once. and there i was 10 years later, feeling nothing. tis a veerrrryyyyyy hard pill for me to swallow lol n im still tryna choke it down. i haven't been able to listen to any mcr songs since bc i'm afraid i'm going to experience the same empty feelings again orrrrr worse break down and cry like a little bitch n feel sorry for myself bc i was so.close. to having this 1 thing i always wanted but never thought i'd be able to have and then *poof* IT'S GONE. like i can't have shit in this world lol i jsut wanted to give my inner child some peace and remember happier days before mom was gone and what happpens instead??? god yanks mcr away from her too lmaoooo. it's like funny and ironic tbh idk. and then ofc for their last song gerard played cancer and i was 10000000000000 of feet away in pain while my stepmom tried 2 find me water n im just sobbing next to some trashcans bc suddenly im 12 years old realizing i just lost the last piece of my childhood n mcr can't soothe me anymore and mom isn't there either and now i truly have nothing left inside or outside myself that makes me happy:-). like i don't think i've EVER even cried to cancer bc i didnt think it was /that/ sad and my mom literally died of cancer and i still never cried??? But idk that was another weird sad thing that jabbed the knife in deeper lol.

but also ik why gee played it, they were supposed to close with TKFY but played cancer bc it's their slowest 'saddest' song which would hopefully make everyone chill the fuck out & leave without trampling each other. which, AGAIN, gerard is literally an amazing fucking frontman for once AGAIN going out of his way to try and mellow ppl out n keep everyone safe aND FOR TABLOIDS TO ATTACK THEM calling them the most dangerous band like!!!!!!!! it literally wasn't their fault ppl are just fucking idiots and don't understand BASIC PHYSICS/HUMAN ANTOMY DKDFNSKD. ngl the only reason i'm not wrathful abt the article is bc it's validating 2 me n my experience that Yes that crowd was actualyl fucking awful and what happened to me was OUT of my control n therefore it wasnt>:(my>:(fault>:(((

[i-like-strawb]

vent

you have been warned

okay, i genuinely feel like such a shitty person because i cant keep in touch with my friends over long distance, like i will forget to anwer then 3 hours later i dont know what to say so i just respond with "ok" and it makes me feel so bad

and then theres also the fact that whenever me and my ex bf broke up it was getting toxic like REALLY toxic he has screamed at my best friend multiple times and he freaked out cuz i didnt answer my phone for 1 hour (i was at a birthday party and i was talking about it so he knew) and hes just done some shit to me and my friends that i didnt like,

but anyways we were still friends....(for like 2 days) and near the time we broke up he had discovered he liked fem clothes (a femboy, and no i dont have anything against them, you do you as long as ur not hurting anyone) and whenever we broke it off i wasnt really thinking right at the time and he sent me stuff i didnt want to see (like him in a skirt saying "first time going out today!1!1!") and i didnt want to see it

so. i told him i didnt care and a day later he said "thanks for letting me know we arent friends" and i blocked him, on EVERYTHING, capcut? blocked. pinterest? blocked. iMessages? blocked. and i feel like such a bad person for doing that...he didnt deserve it and i got discord and im in a server with him and now i feel like i want to throw up all over again but whenever i first left him i felt really happy...

i tried forcing myself into a idgaf personality but that backfired. big time and now that i dont have a boyfriend ive just been keeping all of my emotions in (i kinda was before but not as bad y'know?) and now i dont know what to do about it so i just stay up until 3am everyday on my computer to forget it all

and my parents arent quite strict but overbearing...my dad has a weird habit of picking at what i eat and it makes me feel really bad and they also expect me to be the "perfect daughter" when i have told them i am trans and that i am struggling (when i came out my dad said "i am not respecting you" to my face. ouch.) and whenever they found out abt my sh they, instead of looking into the problem, threatened to take everything from me

and they have always put the pressure on with school. i feel like i must be perfect or else i wont have freedom, and my dad is unnecissarily (?) loud, like ive asked him to tone it down and says "NOPE" every single time and it makes my head hurt (it also doesnt help that i have noise sensitivity issues) and he just denies everything and it hurts so much....

one day ill be able to get along with him just fine, the next day im looking at a pair of scissors a little too much because of him and i dont know what i can do anymore and my mom laughed in my face when i said i thought i was autistic and whenever i was at a really low point to suggest being put in a mental hospital

and what sucks is that i never realized most of my habits were weird until my ex pointed them out (ex: i have a really bad stutter). and ever since the moment i went to school im always in some kind of toxic relationship and i never realized that until a month ago

and with the staying up till 3? oh yeah real good. im tired and anxious 24/7 i feel like shit, and i dont want to say this to anybody because i dont want to bother them and i feel like they dont and wont care about it, just like some of my hyperfixations, like i will genuinely be excited about something and i tell it to someone and they couldnt give two fucks. again. ouch

and also i get yelled at because im very socially awkward and i cant really express some feelings outwardly, like i really love your present but i dont know how to express it so i need a minute to figure it out and then i get yelled at or the "you are so ungreatful" speech and nobody bothers to try and understand

and then there is how much i loathe myself, i hate that i was born like this, i hate how easy it is for me to get acne, i hate my nose and my mouth, my face shape, my body shape, my smile, my high voice, my femme looking features, i hate the fact i was born as a girl, i hate it all so much, the only thing i love is my hair color and eyes those are the only two pretty things about me

and i hate my personality so much too, i cant describe it but i hate myself a lot and the only comfort im able to get are my stuffies, the internet and a blanket fort where i can escape from everything and the terrible headaches i get, im so tired

i also have big anxiety issues, i overthink a lot even a "hi how are you" is too much for me like what if they find it weird, wait what if they dont like me, am i being too much and its a lot of thoughts to handle all at one time and i havent been able to regress lately (6 months) and that is the only way i really know how to cope

and what i mean by havent been able to is that i dont have a lot of stuff, ive been too tired to and i dont have a cg/somebody i think that actually cares enough and since im almost done with middle school im kinda scared, i dont know why but i am

bottom line, i feel like a shit person and that i have let everybody down, i desperately need sleep, and i have a shit ton of repressed feelings/emotions and they are all resurfacing and i cannot handle it, sorry for bothering you all and have a good day/night :)

[sithshenanigans]

I literally have no clue where to start lol um maybe I’ll talk abt my character spire first

Since he’s the founder of the tribe my main ocs all reside in.. I’m kinda gonna make stuff up as I go along too since I haven’t fully built up his backstory so now’s a good time for that I guess.

Just be ready though i traumatized all my ocs LMAO

Spire’s parents were not very present in his early childhood, in fact they handed him over to be trained as a Sith as soon as he was old enough. Sadly his mentor was not any better, leaving him to have a traumatic childhood.

Here’s some art I made of spire in his childhood,, as a kid he never wanted to train as a force user, it was his dream to become a pilot but of course those dreams were crushed by his mentor.

Spire struggled with self image and self esteem while under his mentor’s guidance, he was a anxious kid which is strange to think about compared to his personality now.

At some point he began to change, not letting things get to him and eventually killing his abusive master. But everything he went though left him paranoid, even becoming self absorbed and going down a path of turning into a psychotic power hungry leader.

Backing up a bit though.. before that all happened,, not so long after the downfall of spire’s mentor, spire came across two very powerful force users. Twins, and they were just kids. He and a friend [West Kasken] of his decided to train the kids themselves as the Jedi tribe seemed to be clueless of their powers. Unfortunately Spire found it necessary to kill the Jedi, which only created more problems in the future.

At this point in time Spire no longer felt empathy or cared for people, but something in him changed when he began mentoring the two twins[coven & saren]. He found that he had a growing soft spot for them, especially coven as he watched them grow up and could see much of himself in coven. This motivated him to actually try to be a good role model to them, but nothing ever lasts. Spire’s mental health being untreated left him go spiraling, especially with his schizophrenia worsening, and he became unrecognizable and cruel, even to coven, saren, and west. This caused a huge wedge between coven and spire, and coven felt it was her responsibility to put an end to spire’s reign.

<This is where I attempted to make a comic based on coven stopping spire, although it’s unfinished and very long so I’ll probably make a separate post after this with the pages lol>

Coven made a deal with a shady god in a mirror dimension, which is a void dimension where you can see into the real world but only through wherever there’s a mirror.

They were able to trap spire in the mirror dimension, at least for a while so he was only able to observe the real world. Coven knew possibly trapping him alone could worsen his state, but for now he was a risk to everyone and there was no other way to help him and she didn’t want to hurt him.

Spending time trapped ended up helping him though, and he observed coven and saren grow and learn. When he broke out though he and coven didn’t talk for a long time due to coven feeling manipulated, especially since spire lied about him not being the one that killed the Jedi tribe [including coven and saren’s father] in the past.

Of course I had them make up eventually but spire is still shady sometimes especially with science experiments :/

There’s still a bunch of lore involving coven, spire, saren, and west in the past but I thought I’d talk about spire causing issues first pehshs

[edgaralienpoe]

hi, i’m back as promised. my actual reactions are under this post (and it’s reblogs) it’s well documented 🤣 also forgive me!! this ask is quite a long one 😭

we’re in on it for the same reason!! 🙃 i discovered park jihoon earlier last year bc of at a distance spring is green and i was hearing news abt this new show he’d be in that his character strays away from the boy next door types he’d been playing.

initially, i thought the show was quite unrealistic (the part where they managed to successfully stop some huge scheme that was going on, yeah, high schoolers?? fr??) and i hate seeing that in shows that someone mirror reality but i changed my mindset, started just looking over the unrealistic parts and immersed myself in the found family of the trio 🥹 (big mistake, really fucked myself up there). also it’s true what you mentioned abt the violence bc it’s somewhat a peek into why people did what they did to survive in the hellhole of a school (or show lol)

i thought it was well done for something so short (minus the first quarter or first half 😭) specially loved it when we started seeing into the trio more? I LOVED THEM SO MUCH AND I KNOW THAT IF CIRCUMSTANCES WERE DIFFERENT THEY COULD’VE BEEN REALLY GREAT FRIENDS! you can’t tell me otherwise :(

about bumseok, my thoughts in the posts/rbs are not representatives of how i think of him today pls do not take me seriously 😭 i was just rlly mad at him and looking for someone to blame when i knew (or know now that) it’s not his fault. i think all he ever wanted was a place where he felt like he belonged and for acceptance and for ppl to look at him as their equal rather than smth to look down on. while i think he really misinterpreted the situation with sooho, we also can’t blame him for feeling that way bc it’s all his ever seen so far :( i hurt for all three of them but presently, i hurt for bumseok most bc i know that everything he did wasn’t his fault (it was his decisions to do the things he did, yes, but everything leading up to were beyond him).

what hurts more is that nothing will ever be the same from this point on and there’s no happy reunion for them (also weak hero the webtoon is more on sieun’s life in that new school). and even if they meet each other further down the line, i don’t think i’d like to be happily friends with someone behind my being a comatose and we just have to live with that conclusion.

if there are specific points you want to talk to me with, feel free to do so bc i need prompts to bring up those traumatic memories (the show) HAHA i’m just thrilled that someone else has watched the show bc i have been suffering in silence for a MONTH. i actually got sad for days after watching it so i feel you. i hope talking to someone else abt it helps with the post-show depression 😭

ok so I just woke up and I wrote so much... I don't think my phone nor Tumblr are gonna like that://

some clothing piece that was rEd and read 'keep pushing' at the back like a warning or maybe it was positive. then bumseok being almost naked while his dad was hitting him, when he's generally fully covered and you can even see his arms when he's at school or hanging out -could also be to hide bruises and stuff :((- 

like you, bumseok made me feel so conflicted, cause we kinda know why he ended like he did but also, a person can't just excuse everything on their trauma.

I loved the first scene on episode eight, when the three of them were together but sieun is left alone, because that's just how the show started and sadly, how it ended. and like you said, even if they find each other I don't think it would be the same because all of them hurted so much from that to the point that I don't think they're the same people anymore, would you like to see them back together? A lot of people want to.

who was your favorite character? What made them your fave? (I saw you talking about keep watching because of suho but maybe that changed)  do you think there was something else between suho and bumseok? I saw people take the whole situation as bumseok having a crush on suho -that would make sense because of how impulsive he got - but then some people took it as bumseok just wanting to be like suho and reading too much into what he was doing (kind of what you said) again sO complex

[cheemken]

BROOO IM LITERALLY GOING INSANE OVER YOUR OWL HOUSE AU

what do you think Cynthia’s role would be? I kinda imagine her to be sort of like the Lilith of the AU (specifically season 1 / emperors coven lilith). I think it’d be cool to see Cynthia utterly devoted to Diantha, but later on have a moment of question where she asks herself “is this the right thing?” But eventually her devotion to Diantha wins her over and Cynthia does her job lol

it’d be cool if Iris caused her questioning moment jdjshdw

BCKSBSMS THANK OMF I JUST REALLY LIKE THE THOUGHT OF DIA BEING LIKE BELOS SO YEAH HAHAHAH

And as for Cyn's role, she's like, one of the Coven Heads along w the other champs and two of Kalos' E4, so ofc she was already so so devoted to Diantha especially since they knew each other when they were younger, as Cyn was Augustine's friend back then. And ofc, Dia knew Cyn likes her, so it'd be easy to pull in Cynthia on her cause, especially since she also used Cynthia's grief over Augustine too

And ofc Cynthia was loyal ever since, she was such a good student in the Potions track when they were younger, so ofc, Dia appointed her as the head of the Potions Coven.

I really like the thought of being like Lilith tho fr ncmxnx she's one of the most loyal followers Diantha has, not once did she question Diantha's motives, her faith never wavered even if Diantha took her left eye, she stayed loyal to her even after she watched Diantha fail to recreate her brother from his own remains. Despite everything, Cynthia stayed w Diantha through it all.

And just jcmdnd ough imagine tho that yeah like you said Iris and Cynthia confrontation, probs another confrontation while Cynthia was out on a mission w Geeta to look for Titan's blood. She and Geeta got separated, and Cyn ended up finding Iris and her friends, also looking for Titan's blood, looking for the key. Cynthia attacked her ofc, they were just children, she was a powerful witch, they were no match for her. But she really underestimated them, the other five escaped while Iris was left face to face w Cynthia, and god Cyn just wants to kill her then and there and present her dead body to Diantha. Surely that'd be enough for Diantha to really be impressed w her

And just during the battle, Iris managed to land a hit on Cynthia, catching her off guard, her hair's a mess, got swept to the side and Iris saw that scar on her face. Iris stopped, but her guard was still up, Drayden's Palisman, Haxo, in her hands still, in case Cynthia was abt to attack her suddenly. But Cynthia didn't, instead, she hastily hid her left side again, before taking her own Palisman and charging back again too Iris.

Iris just blocks her attack and then just makes a comment abt Cynthia's scar, then Cyn sneered at her, "I failed a mission. Diantha was merciful, she didn't execute me, and it shows how she's such a benelovent empress. Something you aren't." She growled, pushing Iris to the ground, "and because of our last encounter, she almost killed me. All because of you. She was right, you humans will never be satisfied until blood is shed."

Iris blanched for a bit then shot back, "no, no, you're wrong! Diantha's treating you like shit! Why can't you see that?! She's hurting you!"

"this is merely punishment for my incompetence!"

"that's no excuse for her to hurt you!"

And Cynthia actually paused at that, no Iris was wrong, what Diantha did was right, Cynthia failed and her face, her eye, getting scarred was a suitable punishment. Tho, Iris took that chance, she created a smokebomb w the fire glyph, making a quick escape. Once Cynthia finally realized Iris was gone, she got pissed, screaming, she raged as she threw potions after potions everywhere in her hate. She didn't realized tears brimmed her eye until she fell down and saw the tears on the ground. She felt fear again, that fear of Diantha, that fear of being punished again. Her breathing became quick, visions blurry, she was clawing on the ground, her other hand was clutching her left eye, feeling those phantom pains again. She didn't know how much time has passed until Geeta found her, shaking her, "Cynthia, snap out of it."

"she's going to kill me.."

It took a bit, but Geeta realized what, or rather who, she's talking abt. "She won't. Do you really think she could do that? Are you questioning our empress?"

"no! No, of course not!" But her voice was shaking now too, she didn't wanna die

"then let's go. We already have what we came here for." She then showed Cynthia the key, broken with the Titan's blood dripping from the cracks, but there's still more within it. Of course. Geeta managed to find it. God she's really going to disappoint Diantha if she finds out, that she really ended up begging and bribing Geeta to never tell Diantha a word of what happened.

Tho, despite Geeta's promise, Diantha's still going to find out. After all, she has her precious Golden Guard watching over the Coven Heads during their missions.

[noxtivagus]