#kiss love snails

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[fanaticsnail]

Sanji in his little "Kiss the Cook" apron.

Is it romantic? Starting as a joke with kisses on the cheek and temple until the two of you end up full on making out?

Or is it platonic? With the straw hats giving him little kisses in passing, starting with Luffy and spreading through the crew until even Zoro relents? Because what's better than kissing the homies goodnight?

You tell me snail, what's the move?

-♡♡ lots of love

"porque no los dos?"

Kiss the Cook

Masterlist here

Word Count: 1,700+

Synopsis: Sanji was gifted an apron from Nami after returning back from town. Every member of the crew aside from Zoro and you have followed the embroidered instructions written on his chest, and he wasn't happy about the lack of kisses from you. You finally relent and give him what he wants.

Themes: platonic kisses, fluff, implied f!reader - but can be read as gn!reader, sanji has feelings for you, you have unspoken feelings for sanji, idiots in love, Sanji has lost that 'line-cook rizz'.

Notes: This has been in my ask box for less than a day. I don't know what it is about you, anon. As soon as I see those two little hearts I'm just overtaken by something. I blame the "kisses". @chikariart on twitter.

Tag list: @mfreedomstuff @daydreamer-in-training @sordidmusings @since-im-already-here @indydonuts @feral-artistry @gingernut1314 @i-am-vita @writingmysanity

“Could these onions misbehave any more?” the chef grumbled under his breath, gritting his teeth and clamping hard down on his cigarette, “C’mon, now. What have I gotta do to get your layers off? Talk dirty to you?” He used the steel edge of his knife to attempt to pry the brown outer layer away from its fleshy underside with shaking hands. 

Sanji’s nerves were ignited, his whole composure on edge and waiting for the next intrusion in his kitchen and potential distraction from his work. 

When Nami brought the frilly pink apron his way, he was initially ecstatic at the notion he was thought of enough to be given a little gift. But as the red embroidery with white stitched hearts expressed consent for his body to be given sweet kisses at all times, he was truly alert. With an assault of affection from all who approached him each time he adorned the fabric in its wake, he was finding it difficult to focus on each mundane kitchen task. 

In this case, peeling onions was the bane of his existence. As the flickered peel almost withdrew from the circular bulb, it split and only chipped off a small amount of the outer layer. 

Sanji loved kisses, adored kisses: all the cheek, forehead and shoulder kisses he'd received from the crew. Cheeky Nami kisses, soft Robin kisses, and nibbled toothy kisses from Chopper were his favorites. 

He was less enthusiastic about hulking, wet kisses from Franky, nor the hungry cheek kisses from Luffy which was used to depict the state of his appetite. Usopp was the middle ground, his kisses were a tease on his shoulder with a rough clap and a gaggle of laughter immediately thereafter.

Brook’s kisses were actually quite funny to the blonde cook. As the skeleton man had no lips to kiss with, he resigned himself to the notion of simply walking past him, and taunting him with a melodic hum of the words: “kiss,” “kisses,” or an emphatic “mwah,” as he did so.

Of the members of the remaining crew, he was happy that the stinky moss-head kept his lips to himself. There was no way he would allow him the closer proximity to his body without starting a sparring match. He was, however, not so happy that you were yet to place your lips sweetly on the apple of his cheek. 

Sanji adored you, wanted to treat you with the utmost respect and dote on you alongside the other members of the crew. You were special to him, and he rationalized that his small crush was why he was craving a scrap of your attention so much. As he continued cursing at the onions, he heard a soft tap on the doorway to the kitchen. 

“Need help, cook?” Sanji looked up, noticing you leaning on the side of the door. He smiled softly at you, biting back his smile and gulping his insecurity. 

“Oh, beautiful angel,” he managed to turn away from the counter and look out the window as he resumed his battle with the onions, “I'm all good here, don't you worry yourself. Go relax with the others.” You clicked your tongue and stepped closer to the bench and stood a few feet away from the blonde cook. 

Noticing his posture, you knit your brows in puzzlement. He was twitching while he was going about his peeling, finally managing to coax the shell away from the exterior and sigh in relief. His cheeks were tinted a soft shade of pastel pink, his nose the most darkened by the blushy hue. 

Looking down, the frilly pink apron with ‘Kiss the Cook,’ held the final piece of information as to his nervous composure. You smiled softly at him, looking to where his hands skillfully minced the onions and threw them into a scorching pot with molten butter and aromatic herbs. 

He rinsed his hands in the sink, lathering them with soapy froth and soaking the suds with glassy water. The scent from the pot of sweetened onions with rosemary, sage and thyme had your mouth salivating in anticipation of what was to come. 

“What's cooking, good looking?” you smiled at him softly, gesturing with your chin to the pot on the stove. He froze up, his ears tinting darker with the shade of pink. 

“J-Just a mirepoix,” he stuttered out, prompting you to shake your head and offer him a soft laugh in response. Taking the extinguished cigarette out of his lips, he placed the butt in the bin beneath the sink. 

Noticing the tension in his body, you reach up and place a hand on his shoulder to urge him to turn to face you. He meets his gray orbs with yours, a sheepish look on his face as you gaze up into his eyes. 

“You've been off the line for too long, Sanji,” you scrunch your nose up playfully at him, “Lost that flirtatious kitchen charisma and banter, blushing like a bride at the most simple of compliments. What's going on with you?” You graze your fingers along his jaw, leaving a rising layer of goose flesh in its wake. 

“I-It’s-...” Sanji gulped his nerves back, hanging his head with a soft laugh and subtle shake in response, “...It's this stupid apron.” You look down at the apron with a smirk. 

“What about the ‘stupid apron’, Sanji?” you ask with a raised brow before gazing back into his eyes, “Not your color?” He continued smiling and shaking his head at you before looking up through his eyelashes into your questioning and puzzled eyes. 

“To be honest with you,” he sucked his bottom lip between his teeth to halt his words from sounding too eager, “I actually love it. Even though it started as a joke, it has actually made a big difference the way I’ve been feeling lately.” He shrugged, turning his eyes back to the ground and snickering, “Stupid, right?” 

Cupping his face, you elevate his head and hum at him in deep contemplation. 

“Not stupid,” you shrug at him, darting your eyes between his and flickering your gaze down to his lips, “Not stupid at all.” His breath hitched in his throat, eyes beginning to fill with hope as you drew your face ever closer to his. 

Closing his eyes, he parted his lips and anticipated feeling yours brush with them. His heart beat in his throat, his ears hearing that drum of hope ringing with his elevated pulse. As he drew his face closer still, the balloon of anticipation was instantly deflated as he felt your lips brush with the apple of his cheek and linger for less than a single second. 

As you withdrew from his cheek, Sanji was left feeling like a complete idiot. He stared vacantly, directly ahead with unblinking eyes and his ego completely deflated. His heart fizzled out like a flame being snuffed by a wet blanket. 

Looking at his vacant expression and the soft blush on his cheeks, you couldn’t help yourself. A single, timid kiss was not enough of an indulgence to grant to the blonde cook, in your opinion. You leaned forward once more, pressing a soft kiss on his angular jaw before pressing another on his neck above his pulse and beneath his ear lobe. 

Sanji’s breath hitched, his hands opening and closing in clenched fists and shaking extensions. Gasping, he leant his head to the side and whimpered at the soft touches you were pressing into his skin. His pulse quickened, his breath hitched, and his eyes clenched tightly shut as he argued with himself where to place his hands on you. 

Trailing your lips down to his collarbone, you pressed a sweet and gentle kiss against the bone before clamping your teeth down onto the flesh. Sanji mewled in pleasure at the attention, throwing his head back and drawing up his forearm to his face to catch the damp blood from exiting his nose. His head was dizzy, his lips parting and whining as he felt your tongue swirl around the soft bite to his collar. 

Pulling away from him, you sucked your lips into your mouth and bit-back your smile at his reaction. He slowly drew his eyes down to meet yours, the irises eclipsed by blown pupils and his desire. Giggling at him, you tilted your head to the side and clasped your hands behind your back and rocked on your feet. 

Sanji surged his body forward, claiming your cheeks beneath his hands and carding his fingers through your hair the moment his lips descended onto yours. You squeaked in response, immediately placing your hands on Sanji’s hips as he pinned you against the sink with his hips. His kisses were needy, desperate and full of desire. 

As he rotated his chin to deepen the oscillation, you reached up to his shoulder and tapped it twice while gasping in his mouth. He tugged himself away, looking down at you in shock with wide eyes and panting breath.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he began to hastily relay his apologies, “I didn’t mean to do that, truly. The other kisses I get from the crew are usually a little more hasty and less indulgent. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything, honest-.”

“-Sanji,” you laugh at him, looking up through half-hooded lashes and brushing your nose with his, “Your mirepoix is going to burn.” 

Immediately, Sanji broke himself away from you and stomped over to the large pot. He grumbled as he stirred the aromatics with a wooden spoon, growling under his breath, “This stupid apron has been nothing but a complete distraction.” You giggled at him as he aggressively began stirring at the pot to salvage the caramelizing vegetables. 

“That’s it,” he tore the apron away from his chest and cast it to the side, “No more kisses in the kitchen. I refuse to have good food spoil because I’ve been getting distracted by soft kisses… sweet kisses…” he trailed off, fishing around in his pocket for a cigarette after he rotated the vegetables within the butter. 

Shaking your head, you go and retrieve the apron from where he cast it aside and hung it over the kitchen table. Eyeing him over mischievously, you walk over to him and hold his hips firmly from behind and place one more soft kiss between his shoulder blades. 

“Come find me when you want to put on that stupid apron again, hm?” you utter, releasing his hips and making your way over to the kitchen doorway and out of the room with haste. 

Sanji shook his head with a warm smile and a dark blush. Looking to where you had just left, he sighed deeply and began to focus solely on the meal preparation with no more cause for distraction.

[roccooraccoon]

Giving kisses to various AIs 😚😚

We have Edgar (electric dreams), Tau (Tau), Squid (Will You Snail), HAL 9000 (2001: a space odyssey), AM (I have no mouth and I must scream), Wheatley (portal), Auto (Wall-e) and GLaDOS (portal) yayyyy

[timmie15]

Kissaroos <3

Designs by @beth4short-blog (besides my 621)

[bluishfrog]

Dnf as snails?🐌

@ everyone: Send me your favorite animals and I draw them as dnf :D You can also send other non-animal related doodle prompts

Dnf as animals series

[junespriince]

Jay (@pup-pee) infected me with his brainworms, I love these sillies and now I think about them dhdhdhdb

ALSO FUCK YOU *Snailed your Kart*

Ref at the below

It felt very them lol

ALSO the speedster snails have their shells around the swirl glow because they're speedster, and I will make DC snails trusts fhdhdbdb

[kamiishiiros]

. so i got into end roll

[sourpatchchildrenn]

here is a compilation of snails i've meet on my way home!

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

Written by Russ Ballard

[dimpletheheck]

I spent too much time on this I need help-

🐌👉👈

[pharaohgargamel]

Вы когда ни будь видели как целуются улитки?! 🐌💞🙀Сейчас покажу:

Have you ever seen how snails kiss?! 🐌💞🙀 I will show you now:

[biribaa]

Squid And Wheatley sleep together without clothes but like- in a not sexual way they did anything before this scene its actually just fluff

It was almost one in the morning, few lights lightly illuminated the two artificial bodies, but neither of them had the patience to remove the blanket and take the other's arms and turn it off.

Both were exhausted, from what? It doesn't matter, they were tired. But at that point where both were tired, Wheatley just came up with a suggestion of a couple activity idea. Squid balked at the idea, but Wheatley promised nothing malicious, and yes only romantic.

Squid had his face against Wheatley's neck, his arms tied around Wheatley's torso, while Wheatley had his arms around Squid's small waist. Both awake, but still, pure silence.

Wheatley wasn't sure if Squid had his eyes open, but Wheatley couldn't take his eyes off his partner. Without much thought, Wheatley smoothed his large hand against Squid's back, feeling the material of his body.

Squid's body wasn't quite metal, nor flesh skin, it was... electrifying, if that makes sense. It didn't look real, Wheatley couldn't quite describe what Squid's skin was like, it looked like a hologram, but it was physical, that makes sense, right?

Wheatley stood there for a few more seconds, stroking Squid's back, enjoying the shock pink of Squid's skin that he once thought was so violent.

Squid had his eyes closed, on the verge of shutting down and falling asleep, but even so he could feel the metal of his boyfriend's large body. Lightly, he ran his hand against Wheatley's metal, analyzing it delicately.

It was metal, but it wasn't totally cold as expected as a shiny white metal, it was slightly warmer. Somehow that made Squid more comfortable.

Squid slowly hugged Wheatley's legs with his own, ready to fall asleep. Wheatley glared at Squid, deciding to pat his head.

It was strange... It almost looked like a texture of glass, and at the same time, it looked like a 2D image in a 3D world. Secretly, Wheatley thought it was cute.

Squid slightly opened his eyes lazily, to take one last look at the robot's bluish eye. Squid felt he shouldn't be this vulnerable, this pathetic. The big, feared Squid in a romantic setting? Embracing the dumbest, most disastrous AI he's ever seen like a couple of bunnies? Normally Squid would say he should destroy him, but well, deep down in Squid's rebuilt heart, he convinces himself.

"I deserve this..."

[officialtokyosan]

there should be another mil/mecha character voiced by yasumoto who straight up starts sobbing

[silk-orb]

Me and who? 🐌 🐌

[tsundere-selfship]

I just think he would love to own a Nintendo 3DS.

[nudibranchpropaganda]

Talk about your OCs!!!!!!!!!!

i desperately wanted to respond to this immediately but i had a physiology exam this morning :(( have my post exam sleep deprived caffeine induced ramblings mwah <3

there's 3 of them rn and i love them all to pieces i have gone into wayyyyyy too much detail under the read more

so there's my demon baby who currently has no name. legit just The Demon in my brain. they started as a reader insert but i genuinely fell in love with them and am probs gonna keep adding to that au for a while (keep an eye out if u liked it)

Personally i see them as genderfluid - they can shape shift at will, but tend to lean towards mma/wrestler builds (1000000% can and will fuck u standing up) and charcoal grey skin (to blend in w the smog that fills their home skies).

physical characteristics? definitely has bat wings. love thin, membranous, and slightly translucent wings. they generally have claws and sharp teeth, a tail cause its fun to whip around and provides a nice counterweight + extra arm to grab things. they change the style of their horns like some ppl change their hair colour, a personal fav are ones either like a ram's or greater kudus's, but honestly if u like a different kind they've probably worn them for a bit for sure. tall and broad no matter what. this bastard is BIG and will use it to their advantage.

they feed off emotions, there's a whole taste menu thing i could get into, but generally they feed on fear cause its most readily available. their fav is happiness. just pure joy. tastes like bubbly sunshine and keeps them satiated for weeks. they can also amplify emotions, but can't create them if they aren't already there. summoned in the stereotypical way: fire, blood, latin chant (soap was just fuckin around for a laugh). no aversion to generic holy items, they aren't evil just another species. bright light will fuck them up tho cause they are nocturnal and have "evolved" for life in the darker hours.

can be mean. can be very very mean. knows where to hit to make it hurt, will absolutely be a little cruel on occasion when hurt by something. can also be very very warm, reading emotions makes it easy for them to give ppl what they need. generally is pretty sweet though, kinda like a creme brulee - brittle hard outside that you gotta crack to get to the soft sweet inside.

when i wanna get into their headspace i listen to maneater by the blue eyed blondes, gimme by she keeps bees (thnx for the rec on that one), keep it down by migrant motel, and i like the way you die boy by black honey. the pintrest board that i dump all the vibes in

the last one is still sorta in the work shopping phase. they're a cod oc, early to mid 30s again. i know their call sign is Jaws bc they tore someones throat out with their teeth when they got pinned down during a mission. they're head hunted by laswell after the 141 is a known force for their recon and undercover work. they get pretty close to gaz and soap, but struggle initially to break into the group cause the boys are such a well oiled machine at this point and don't really want to disrupt the status quo.

there's also the protag of my other cod fic (once again i have yet to name her). she's bi, in her mid 30s, and moved out to the edge of the forest after her last long term relationship ended (have yet to decide whether it was divorce or death). she's definitely a recluse, has a little bit of a hobby farm garden going (hugelkultur ftw), and grew up on stories about how the woods used to eat people (nova scotian; apalachian for sure).

BAD relationship w/her mother. they dont speak anymore. kind enough to her neighbours, but everyone kinda thinks shes a little strange, a little offputting (same girl). big on enjoying the little moments with the people she loves, sitting on the porch and drinking tea together kinda life.

she's honestly super special to me and i love her so much. abandoned and cranky but forced to confront that physical manifestation of grief and rage inside her when she gets attacked in the home she used to share w/her wife. and then soap? just kinda working his way into her life and very quickly getting close to her and being kind and gentle and reaching out a hand for her? idk if that was how it came out but that was what i was going for :)

anyways i listened to black hole by Griff on repeat when writing that fic, also kiss with a fist by florence and the machine. alrighty aphrodite by peach pit, lost without by shane guerrette, ghosts and monsters by saint chaos, and west virginia by the builders and the butchers were some more songs that made the writing playlist for her. pintrest board if ur interested :)

they had some trouble with their last unit too, butting heads with a shitty CO/team mate (tbd). this 100% made it into their rap sheet and gave them a bit of a rep as a trouble maker, they chose to lean into it a bit though and cause some problems on purpose for assholes. they are pretty standoffish at the start, can take a while to warm up to people. not super chatty, but enjoys spending time w/friends and will just chill and listen. loyal to a fault, but not to many ppl (eventually the 141, las, a few old team mates).

they aren't close with their family, parents passed in a car accident while they were on deployment and their sister feels like they abandoned her for the military (give an oc a happy backstory challenge has been failed). playing around with the idea of them faking their death and leaving their old team behind to go undercover at one point (the angst of being recognized by someone who thought they were dead and accidentally burning that bridge tho)

disco! in the panic room by bug hunter, hey child by the x ambassadors, choke by i dont know how but they found me, bury me face down by grandson, aint lookin by the wild feathers if i end up writing them w/one of the 141. a pintrest boards 4 u to browse :)

wow that got really long, thanks for sticking with it!! im sure i'll start posting a little more about all of them as i flesh them out, once i get through the paper and presentation i have for a couple of my classes next week im gonna have wayyyyy more time to write and explore them :))))))))