Too Much, My Love
Fandom: Rise of the Guardians
Pairing: Jack Frost/Pitch Black, Nicholas St. North/Krampus
Tags: Humor, Fluff, The Talk, Embarrassment, Anxiety, Mild Angst, Krampus has better things to do than this, But North asked nicely so
Rating: T
Words: 2,545
Summary:
North has some tips for Jack on how to date the enemy.
The thing is, Jack hadn't meant for anyone to know.
For @rotgbingo 2021: Dating The Boss
On AO3 Here.
For @cynical-bonehead, who gave me the original idea to do this <3
“Jack.”
North’s warm, heavy hand settled on Jack’s shoulder and instantly filled the Guardian with dread. Normally his touch was a comfort, but combined with the tone of his voice and just that one word, his name… Jack pressed his lips together and fought the urge to run.
Whatever it was, North would be kind.
“Yes?”
“We must talk,” North said, sliding his hand down Jack’s back and steering him up the stairs toward the workshop. “It is time.”
This did not bode well. ...Actually, this bode perfectly neutral. Every time North took Jack to the workshop, it was for some serious topic of conversation delivered in North’s particular brand of intense, but it usually worked out okay for Jack. It would just be, you know, intense.
Jack took a breath and reminded himself that he hadn’t done anything to annoy North in at least a month and the man’s patience was near infinite so Jack had no reason to be concerned now.
Jack’s entire self pep-talk flew right out the window, along with his sense of how the world worked, when North opened the door to reveal who would be with them for today’s lecture.
He was tall. So tall. Distinctly reddish in hue, with a standing posture that filled Jack with foreboding just from the shape of it. North’s workshop was the absolute last place Jack expected to find Krampus.
How did he even get in here with horns that big?
North calmly closed the door behind them, and it never occured to Jack that Krampus might not have been invited. The only spirit, to Jack’s knowledge, to make it past the yetis was Pitch, and although Jack didn’t doubt Krampus could get in if he tried, the idea that he would choose to do it stealthily and wait patiently for them to discover him was not on brand.
Also, North didn’t immediately start yelling. That was a huge hint.
Krampus smiled and Jack took a step back. It was only half-voluntary.
“Hello Jackson.”
Wait. Jack’s brows came together and he took his step forward again. “That’s not my name”
Krampus’s whole face tilted, and Jack regretted his step all over again. “Are you sure?”
“...I was two seconds ago.”
“Jack!” North’s voice caught his attention and the tone was so relaxed and friendly that despite the horror in the corner, he felt his muscles loosen out of the knots they’d worked themselves into. “This is what we must talk about.”
Jack was so confused. “Is Krampus joining the Guardians?”
That was definitely a no, because both North and Krampus burst into laughter and Jack felt really stupid for the whole minute it took them to catch their breath.
“Then what?” he asked, irritation creeping up his shoulders at the fact he had to ask at all. Why was North leaving him to guess? More importantly, if North was bringing him here for a talk, why did it feel like Jack was being left out of a big joke?
“No no no,” North said with a shake of his head. His hand landed on Jack’s shoulder again, and this time it felt comforting and inclusive and instantly lowered Jack’s hackles down from high alert. “Is a good joke, Jack. Krampus is not Guardian. He is husband!”
Jack stared up at North, his brain refusing to comprehend. The room sort of darkened at the edges and Jack heard but didn’t really feel the crack in his voice when he asked, “What?”
North moved away from Jack and stood next to Krampus on the other side of the room. It helped—Jack suddenly felt like he could breathe again—but also hurt—what was North doing with a terrifying Anti-Santa spirit all the way over there?—and left Jack more uncertain than he’d been even when he outright rejected the words coming out of North’s mouth.
“We are husbands!” North said again, and at least Jack felt like he heard him this time. “This is how I know, and why I must be who talks to you.”
Jack… just did not understand. “About what?”
North looked at him with concerned eyes in a determinedly jovial face. Great, now they were both confused. “Pitch Black of course!”
Jack was always cold, so he was usually numb to it. Now, the unnatural chill of shock and fear dropped hard over his shoulders and settled heavily in his stomach. "What?"
North reached for Jack with one large hand, but they were standing too far away for him to reach. His smile dimmed as concern took a stronger hold of his features. "Jack? Are you alright?"
"Yeah, of course," he said on instinct. Why wouldn't he be alright? He couldn't feel his hands or feet right now and the workshop was looking a little gray around the edges, but Jack was fine.
North came closer still. He obviously didn't believe Jack. Jack wasn't sure Jack believed Jack. "You look pale."
"That's normal," Jack insisted. Which, it was, so… "Why do we need to talk about Pitch?"
North nodded, back bent in the sort of crouch one assumed when trying to convince a wild animal that you weren't dangerous. "You and him are dating, no?"
The chill flashed to heat in a bare second. Jack's entire head felt hot. "What? No. What?"
"It is okay," North assured, lips pulling into a tentative, calming smile. "I understand. You see? Because I am dating malicious spirit, too!"
Jack needed to sit down. There was a tabletop behind him. Jack sat on that.
He felt it when his hand knocked over a prototype toy plane on its way to his staff, and Jack considered that a good sign even if he didn't react to pick it up again. He leaned on his staff instead, and focused on breathing.
How did North know? They had been so careful, only meeting in deserted places or enclosed spaces. There should have been no way to find out. If North knew, did that mean…
Jack's head shot up. "Who else knows?"
"No one!" North said too quickly. Then, "probably Sandy."
Jack felt betrayal for all of two seconds before he realized Sandy could read dreams and… okay, yeah, that checked out.
"Who knows about you?" It felt fair to ask.
North nodded shortly. "Sandy."
Seemed legit.
Jack felt himself calming now that the initial shock had passed. North wasn't accusing him of anything. He really did seem to want nothing more than to talk about it.
"Okay…" The problem was, Jack still didn't know what there was to talk about. "So?"
"So!" North said with a flourish. Clearly he'd gotten his confidence back. "I want you to know you can talk to me!"
"About?"
"Pitch!" North leaned forward like he was telling Jack a secret, but the volume of his voice made secrets impossible. "Bad guys can be frustrating."
"Tell me about it," Jack deadpanned.
"Is that what I am?" Krampus said, instantly reminding Jack that he was actually going to be here for this whole conversation. "A bad guy?"
North grinned at him. Krampus might as well have been the only person in the room, by the way North was looking at him. Jack got the impression this was a running joke between them. "The baddest."
This was a side of North Jack hadn’t seen before. But why would he? This was North’s private life, and although Jack knew he was important to North, he wasn’t this kind of important to him.
Wait a second.
Jack’s hand landed hard on the tabletop in indignation. “I thought I was top of the naughty list?”
Krampus snorted a laugh and it was the most unsettling sound Jack had heard in a long time, but North’s eyes were back on Jack and his hand was waving dismissively in the air. “Different kind of naughty, Jack.”
“Augh!” Jack pressed both hands to his ears, then his eyes (which did nothing), then his ears again. “Is this how every kid feels when they think about their parents having sex?!”
Instead of the exhausted sort of patience Jack expected from such a display of childishness, North’s eyes grew large and wet with adoration. “You think of me like parent?”
Jack paused his dramatics to really look at North. Did the big guy really not know? Jack’s hands fell away from his ears as he said, “Yeah. Of course.”
The next thing he knew, North had Jack in a tight hug that was all warmth and excitement, with no room in between for things like doubt or air to breathe. Jack’s staff was somewhere on the floorboards behind him, but Jack’s feet weren’t on the ground to help him find it. Jack focused on holding onto North instead, and on the fact that North apparently hadn’t known the role Jack imagined for him in Jack’s life.
“I did not think you wanted parent, Jack,” North said without putting him down. His arms loosened a little, but that was as far away as North was letting him get for now. “Three hundred years is a little old for coddling,” he teased.
Jack laughed. He could admit the situation was a little strange, but they were spirits. They couldn’t help that. “You’ve still been around longer,” he pointed out.
North nodded in that sagely way he did and set Jack down on his perch. “Even better that I be the one to talk to you, then.”
Jack was going to wholly ignore that for as long as he could, because parental talks with their children about dating were never not horribly embarrassing for the kids. He leaned around North’s bulk to look Krampus dead in the eyes.
“I’m calling you Krampapa now.”
It was only fair. He was married to Jack’s dad, right? That’s how that worked.
Krampus didn’t look even mildly upset, which sort of mildly upset Jack, actually. He lifted his horned head in a regal yet foreboding way and simply said, “Acceptable.”
...Man really knew how to take the fun out of things, didn’t he? Jack was going to have to try harder.
After all, they were like family now.
North was beaming at the pair of them, and that made Jack feel better about everything instantly.
“About Pitch—”
Well, there went that.
A sudden cold wind in the workshop shut them up, and while Jack looked around to find the source, he noticed Krampus staring at a very specific spot, like he already knew what was coming. He probably did.
“Now,” a voice echoed hollowly off the wooden walls at the same moment that the lights dimmed in the workshop, and Jack knew instantly who it was. How could he not? “Why did you ask me here, Krampu—”
Pitch Black stopped short barely a second after materializing and stared with wide eyes at his audience full of Guardians.
He whirled on Krampus. “Is this a trap?!”
Unfortunately, Jack’s tone dead, “Yes,” coincided exactly with North’s empathic, “No!”
Pitch sized them up. Krampus wasn’t giving anything away, so Pitch had to make due with the easier targets in the room. Jack figured his defensive posture, curled half-behind North on the worktop, probably gave everything away.
He turned back to Krampus. “What is the meaning of this?”
“That I love my husband very much,” Krampus answered without missing a beat. His voice carried the boredom of a thousand years and the experience of just as long. “And that I would do anything for him, including subject myself to this.”
North was beaming again.
Pitch met Jack’s gaze.
“Explain.”
Jack pressed his lips together. Pitch wasn’t going to like this. “North is giving me The Talk.”
Pitch visibly winced and glared at Krampus. “And you brought me here for this?”
“Of course!” North boomed, arms thrown wide in the air in celebration. “It cannot be just one! Dating good guys can be frustrating, too!”
Krampus was nodding, but it looked like he was nodding to himself. “Some days.”
Pitch’s lip was pulling up into a snarl. The last thing Jack wanted was for him to lash out and make his relationship with the other Guardians even worse, so he slid down from the table and held his hands out placatingly. “Look, it’s okay. They mean well. Alright?”
Pitch didn’t look convinced, but the way North set a comforting and supportive hand on Jack’s shoulder and Krampus outright stared him down seemed to keep his behavior in check for now. He was going to be so grumpy later.
If Pitch managed to behave for this whole thing, Jack would owe him so many cuddles.
North seemed to take Pitch’s lack of retort as consent, because he slapped Jack on the back and loudly proclaimed, “First things first!”
He turned to face Jack and held his shoulders with both hands. “I have noticed in meetings. You react when Pitch Black is said. You should not.”
The hot feeling was returning to Jack’s face. His ears felt particularly on fire this time. “Am I really that obvious?”
North shrugged one shoulder, swaying his head back and forth as if to say ‘not really.’ However, Krampus behind him nodded resolutely. “Yes.”
North gave his husband a look. “Only if you know what to look for.” He smiled reassuringly at Jack and patted his shoulder. “I think Tooth and Bunny think it is to do with Tooth Palace and Easter Incident.”
Jack didn’t feel reassured at all.
“And you!” North said, spinning dramatically toward Pitch. “Work stays at work! You must let Jack be Guardian.” With a theatrical whirl, North turned on Jack. “And you must let him be Boogeyman!”
Pitch was taken aback. It was written all over his face. “But all you ever do is try to stop me.”
North’s hands came up in a very cut and dry sort of gesture, one hand slicing into the other with every word. “Work stays at work!” Then he pointed at Pitch. “When Jack is Guardian, he stops you. When Jack is boyfriend,” North lowered his hand and shrugged, “he does what he wants.”
“What about when I’m both?” Jack couldn’t help but ask.
North’s gaze softened immediately. “Dangerous to think, Jack. You want him to be happy, yes? Then you must let him be who he is.”
That was incredibly profound and Jack honestly hadn’t even considered it before. The shock he was feeling was written all over Pitch’s face when Jack locked eyes with him across the room. Jack did want him to be happy, and they had been working on compromises, but… overall, yeah. North’s words made sense.
"And now about making love!"
"Nope," Pitch said. The assembled group almost hadn't heard him though, because he’d dropped through the floor so fast.
That was his cue. Jack turned on his heel and took the opportunity to yeet himself through the open workshop window. "I'm out."
Left behind, North stared in stunned silence at the place where Jack had been. He eventually turned to Krampus, clearly confused. "Did I say something?"
Krampus took his own time to stare at his partner. North could be dangerously oblivious. It would be annoying if it were not so adorable. He patted North's hair comfortingly.
"Too much, My Love. Too much."
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