#lanta: threads

[chaoticallycosmic]

Closed starter for: @wynterlanding

If Enoch were to be in front of her right now, Atalanta was sure he'd scold her for acting recklessly and impulsively. But the situation and tensions in the kingdom were stressing her out. She needed a little pick me up and what better way to get it than in a bar? It was nice to be in a place where no one knew who and what she was, no one would treat her differently if they didn't know she was a princess. The music wasn't too loud and the bar wasn't overcrowded, which she appreciated. People still turned to look at her though, as she walked toward the bar to order herself a nice, strong drink. She knew why she commanded attention, or so Enoch said it was because the humans could subconsciously sense something different about her. Atalanta attributed the attention to how she carried herself and nothing more. If only she had scouted the area before walking inside, her nose would have caught the smell of someone not so human lurking about the place. No doubt the universe was laughing at her as she walked around confidently, unaware of what awaited her.

Once she reached the bar and got the bartender's attention as she took a seat on an empty stool, she ordered herself a single malt whisky on the rocks with a charming smile. Just as her eyes were fleeting around to start people-watching, a scent caught her attention and her posture stiffened in her stool. Bright hazel eyes looked around for a source and landed on a man not too far from her. Attractive, no doubt but definitely not human, her instincts jumped at her. Just the smell alone... "This would be just my luck," she muttered around her glass of whisky. It was no secret in her kingdom that their relationship with the werewolves was on shaky grounds. "The gods are laughing at me, no doubt." All she wanted was a simple night. Was that too much to ask for? Still, she spread her red-stained lips into a smile as the man turned his attention to her. Maybe he wouldn't sense that she wasn't quite human either. Maybe if she just acted normally, there would be no need to disclose her real identity. Perhaps there would be no need for her to leave and she could enjoy her evening.

[thecapricunt1616]

The Bear & His Honey Chapter 4

Inspo: Quote- “ Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me- I should know. I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door.”  Dedication: @daysofyellowroses - bestie thank you for inspiring and encouraging me to write. I haven’t felt more alive and inspired then I have in the past few days writing again. Thank you!! This is for you loveyyyy.  Summary: Winnie & Carmy get closer. Have a marg over a mini therapy session, Winnie fixes up Carm’s panic injury. They find out there may just have been a single thread of gold tying them together the entire time.  W/C: 5,484 A/N: Oh my lanta y’all!! 2 chapters in one day?! I promise- PROMISEEE tonight I am figuring a master list out, because I (myself) have been struggling to keep things canon to the story by having to scroll and scroll through my page to find each part to see what I said for Winnie, LOL! So get hype for that, I love this chapter even more then the last bc it has more Carmy, but Richie is so fun to write and I can’t wait for he&Winnies friendship to bloom!!! For my canon Carmy continues going to therapy once or so a week / a support group type talk therapy so that is why he shares more than he would in the show. It’s on his one day off so that’s why he is able to continue making it, and he thrives on routine so going once a week keeps him regulated.  Warnings for BTC: A little bit of smut, angst, mentions of suicide, mentions of vehicular accidents ending in death, mentions of self-harm, mentions of severe injury, negative self-talk, feminine yearning (ofc), fluffy fluff (enough for your teeth to rot out of ur face), panic disorder, mentions of a panic attack, heavy petting, alcohol, mentions of smoking cigarettes, mental health issues, exhausted Carmy LOL

𝒞𝒽𝑒𝒸𝓀 𝒪𝓊𝓉 𝑀𝓎 𝑀𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉!

Read Chapter 3

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The door flings open and before I could even get a good look at him his arms were wrapped tightly around my waist, his large hands resting on my rib cage, and thumbs gently rubbing soothing strokes. I gasped a bit in surprise at the contact, his muscular chest pressed to mine. Pulling me tighter and he nuzzles his face in my neck, his hot breath causing goosebumps to appear all over my skin. I inhaled his scent, a bit of his musky spicy cologne still left over after the long day, cigarette smoke, and a day of working, but he didn’t smell bad at all. I would buy a fucking candle of it if I could, and never burn it so it lasts forever. 

He needed this hug. 

“Thank you f’ comin’, Winnie. I really need a drink, like now” he said quietly and I bit my lip, my hands rubbing soothing circles in the middle of his back. “Course, you think I’d turn down a free drinky-drink from the sexiest little Chef boy in Chicago?” He chuckled into my neck, feeling a small smile press into my skin. “I’m sorry” he pulls away and I finally am able to look at him. 

His hair is a mess, cheeks are stained red, his eyes are bloodshot and glazed over like he’d been crying, he rubs the back of his neck and I see a bit of smeared blood over his forearm. “It’s- it’s okay, hard day?” I asked, twiddling my fingers anxiously, worried he was going to ask me to leave and tell me that it wasn’t a good time anymore. “Ye’” he replied in a sigh and I swallowed hard. 

“D-did you- sorry,” my voice coming out small and meek. I clear my throat “Was it- not a good time for you? It’s fine, totally, totally fine…should have given my number I guess - but I can-“ I motion my thumb to the door down the hall. 

“No! No, please, stay. It’s - it’ll be nice. To like- to see you. I meant sorry about,” he squeezes his eyes shut, shaking his head “sorry for like- flinging myself on you?” He says and I giggle, causing him to look at me.

 “I love hugs! You give great hugs, is that why your sister calls you Bear? Oh my god!! Wait. This is your- that’s so cool, Carmen! You’re so cool!” I motioned to the restaurant, alluding to the name. “That’s so fuckin cool dude!” He smiled, shoving his hands in his pockets shyly and looking at his feet. 

“Thank you, but- uh. No. I’m not…usually a hugger which is why I’m also surprised I did that, guess I needed it. They call me bear cause - well. Don’t poke the bear kinda thing” he said and I took a few steps forward, our toes almost touching and his eyes met mine again. I raise my hand, and gently poke the flower tattoo adorning his left arm with my forefinger and smile. “Gonna bite me?” I quip, lifting my hands and poking short pokes all over his chest and he laughs a bit. 

“Y’re cute” he said and I put a final poke on his nose, blush rising to my cheeks at the statement. “And very thirsty. Pour me a drink will you, bartender?” I turned around on the ball of my foot swiftly, walking with pep back into the kitchen and I look back at him, to find his eyes practically undressing me from where I’d left him moments ago. I grin, putting my hands on my hips “You staring at my ass isn’t making me any less thirsty over here, bartender!” I said and he blushes “sorry…sorry”

He comes out and places a hand at the small of my back leading me to the main part of the restaurant and towards the bar “you just - uh…you look really good. I’m sorry, I didn’t have time to get home, I wanted to but - shit just got outta control, Syd forgot about this huge cannoli order and we forgot to get the powdered sugar with the last resupply so I had to make powdered sugar - it was just-” I rub my hand up his arm gently, stopping him and grabbing his attention. 

“It’s fine Carmen. You look fine. I’ll admit, a little bit tired. But you worked all day, I’ve been there” I shrug and he nods a bit, “thanks” he said softly walking behind the bar. I get up on one of the bar stools, crossing my legs and resting my chin in my palm looking over the restaurant and tapping my nails on the table. “This place is super nice, Carm, you should be so proud of yourself. It feels fancy but inviting too.” I hum admiring the lights and artwork on the walls. 

“Why thank you, we all worked really hard. I’m surprised it came together every day, but super grateful.” He said, taking Patron off of the middle shelf and scooping ice into the mixer, counting to himself as he pours it. “Doesn’t show, you run a tight ship it sounds, Chef” I smiled. He snorts “how would you know? Or is it just the pans from earlier” he said and threw a few slices of jalapeño, lime, and mint in to the cup before closing it tightly and shaking. 

“Yes and no, Richie told me, said that you were a good boy today though, and your sister was the one causing trouble” blush creeps into his cheeks. “Ye’ and see what happens when I’m ‘good’ as you told me to do? Shit got fucked” he pours in some club soda and mixes it with a bar spoon before pouring us both a glass. “Mmmm. Was that because you weren’t barking orders, or because something happened out of your control, and you’re blaming yourself?” I asked honestly and he set my glass down in front of me, biting his lip for a moment. 

“Everything is out of my fucking control” he muttered and shook his head, as if it was a quiet, painful reminder to himself. “Most things, in most people’s lives, are out of our control” I gently rest my hand over his and he meets my eyes. “The only things you can control is if, and when you fall apart, and how well you glue yourself back together.” I said earnestly and he swallows thickly, nodding. 

“I like that..thank you” he said and I nod. “Don’t worry, I won’t charge you- this time. But d’ya think I can get a fancy umbrella or somethin’ for this drink?” I smiled and nudged it toward him, he chuckled, shaking his head “you are somethin’ else, Winnie” he crouches down behind the bar with a grunt. 

“Fuck. I’m 26 but my back feels 90” he said and I laughed a bit. “It’s all the cookin’! And being on your feet too damn much, My mom is a massage therapist, you should let me give you a massage sometime.” I said and he got back up, groaning dramatically which made me giggle. “For you, dear.” He drops a little pink umbrella into my cup. 

“Oh my goodness you poor thing. Come sit down” I pat the spot next to me and plucked my bag off the seat, hanging it off the back of my chair. He comes around the bar, plopping down in the chair next to me with a sigh of relief. “I will absolutely take you up on your massage offer sometime.” He said, rubbing over his face tiredly and running his hands through his muss of curls before taking a sip of his own drink. 

“Please do, I’ll pull out all the stops for ya’, but just so you know- a happy ending comes with a pretty cost” I said flirtatiously and nudged his leg with my boot playfully. He chuckled and looked over at me “yea? Thanks for the heads up I’ll be sure to budget accordingly for my trip to Winnie’s Massage Parlor” he teased and I laughed a bit. 

“Yess!! Please do! There’s also Winnie’s salon, Winnie's hospital, and Winnie’s library!! Come by for all your daily needs I’ma’ Jane of all trades” I shrug and take another sip of my drink. “Speaking of” I take his left arm, looking at the inner part near the crook, where 4 large scratches were, done so violently that the skin beneath was turning into a speckled bruise meaning by morning it would be a dark purple. 

“What happened?” I ask softly, my finger tip gently brushing over the untouched skin over the smeared, dried out blood below the wound. “Ahh-“ he shakes his head “it’s stupid. It’s not even bad don’t worry about it” he said and I looked at him, concerned. “Did- did Sug-“ he cuts me off quickly “Sugar, would never hurt me.” He said, his tone was deadly serious. 

I nodded quickly, swallowing hard. “Okay, Carm, I believe you” I said softly and squeezed his wrist gently. “Will you…let me take care of you- please?” I ask quietly, looking into his eyes, my gaze pleading for a yes. 

“So Winnie’s hospital is mobile?” He said with a small teasing smile. I roll my eyes playfully. “Yes, let’s go find the first aid kit, and honestly it’s pretty but like - empty in here and… I dunno” I bit my lip, hoping he got the hint and he nods “sure we - we can uh. Yeah. Let’s go sit in Sugars office. She has a couch” I nodded and hopped off the seat, gasping when the corner of it hooks onto the hem of my skirt as I get down and pulls it up, exposing my backside clad in a lacy red thong through the sheer bum part of my fleeced nylons. 

“Oh my god!” I blurt as I quickly pulled it back down, my cheeks on fire, and my heart pounding in embarrassment. I hear Carmen burst out in laughter behind me making my embarrassment grow and I turned around, crossing my arms over my chest, my eyebrows becoming furrowed. “Hey!” I snip “what’s so funny!! Why were you looking peeping tom!” I whine and he covers his mouth to stifle the laughter. 

“To make sure your munchkin self didn’t trip off of the stool in those clunky ass boots!! Being a gentleman really paid off for me there” he said and I went over slapping his arm gently with a smile growing on my face. “I guess it’s a good thing I wore panties or I would’ve mooned you” I grab my drink and turn around, a surprised chuckle coming from him. 

“Holy shit, you go commando?” He asks, holding the kitchen door open for me “sometimes, she needs to breathe!!” I said with a shrug and pushed my bag up on my shoulder as I followed him back to Sugars office. “But what if you get horny?” He asked and I laughed, nudging him with my elbow. “Dude!! Richie said you were not forward with girls, that’s pretty forward” I set my bag down on sugars desk and he plops down on the big comfy sofa pulling out a recliner on his side and he sighs, closing his eyes. 

“Gimme a sec’ this is the first time my feet are up since 1” he said and I sat down next to him, “you haven’t sat down since I left?!” I asked and he shook his head, opening his eyes and head falling to the side on the cushion to look at me. “Mm-mm” he hummed in response. “Where’s the first aid kit? I’ll find it” I said and he rubs his face, thinking. 

“Uhhh. Oh there’s one in here actually, go over to the other side of Sug’s desk, it should be tucked there next to the wall” he said and took a sip of his drink. I got up, going where he said and I leaned over, completely forgetting the rules of skirts by mistake. “You’re a fucking tease” he said lowly and my heart pounds, my stomach fluttering wildly, and my core beginning to twitch and throb in excitement. 

“What’s not nice about helping a new friend clean up their boo-boo’s?” I asked innocently, a small smile on my lips as I turned and sat down on the couch on the cushion next to him. He smirks “you…are gonna make me crazy” he said softly and closed his eyes, resting his head on the back of the sofa. I opened the kit, taking out hand sanitizer, saline wipes, gauze, and triple antibiotic. 

“Wait-“ he said his eyes flickering open “you- you met Richie?” He asks as if I hadn’t been mentioning him since I walked in the door, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “It’s like- the first thing I said when I got here.” I said and he sighs softly. “I’m…sorry.” He finally said, like he was contemplating whether to say more. “That’s ok, you had a hard day” I took his arm gently, laying it across my lap. “What did he say? How bad did he embarrass me?” He questions and I giggle a bit, sanitizing my hands before opening a saline wipe. 

“Not at all! He said you’re shy with girls, that he’s surprised you asked me out cause he thinks I’m pretty, and apparently, doesn’t think you are very funny- but I on the other hand, seemed to make him laugh a lot so- got you beat” I teased with a smile as I ever gently wipe over the wounds. 

He snorts “well, you are pretty, he’s an asshole but right.” He said and I looked up at him “not many people make me laugh anymore, you seem to, though.” I said honestly, and he tugs his lip between his teeth to catch a grin from taking over his features. “Yea?” He asks quietly with a blush going across the bridge of his nose and cheeks. “Mmhmm” I hum in reply, putting the ointment on and carefully rubbing it in. 

It was quiet for a moment before he says “I’m sorry.” Causing me to look up at him, but his gaze was stuck on the ceiling. “This wasn’t - I wanted to do something nice for you and… I’m sorry.” I stop working on his arm “sorry for what, Carm? This is so nice. The drink is really good, thank you for making it, I’m glad to be here.” I said honestly and placed my hand on top his. 

His icy blue eyes meet mine, looking over my face slowly and locking on my lips. His eyes flick back to mine when he responds “you just look so pretty, like you should be on a real date. Not here fuckin-“ he sighs, looking down at his arm then back at me. “Dealing with my stupid mistake.” I shook my head and wrapped up his arm with a bandage to keep it clean and dry while he slept and it could scab over. 

“This is a real date. You own a restaurant. Carmen. Look at me.” I order and he looks into my eyes. “You, just you, asking me to come see you, to be together, to get to know each other? You are enough. This is a date. An awesome date. I’m having fun, are you having fun?” I asked and he smiled a bit. 

“No, but….” He trails off, looking at his lap and I felt my heart physically ache, my face drooping “peace” he finally said “I feel…at peace, with you around. I noticed it when we were outside earlier, I came out for a smoke cause I was about to absolutely loose it on Syd, and I don’t- I- I can’t do that to her. So I went out and I totally forgot my light and then..you were there and I forgot about everything.” He said. 

Goosebumps arise on my skin at the admission, the warmth in my chest returning at full force. “And - I thought about you…all day- all-all day. Not like- god I sound like a creep” he takes his arm, rubbing his face in embarrassment. “I thought about you too.” I reply softly. “I thought about you…a lot. Actually.” I bit my lip and his eyes met mine, searching for truth and it was all he found in my locked gaze. 

“Not like- I just couldn’t understand how I felt. But the more I think… I do this thing.” He rubs his chin as he thinks. “Learned it in therapy, they said when you can’t figure out how a person or a situation made you feel, you can like think of people and situations that you do know how you feel about, and keep comparing them until you find a match. S-so when I thought of you.” He swallows thickly and I sit up, completely entrenched in listening to him. 

“I found that things that gave me the same feelings w-were like…my one day off a week that I don’t have to be here. I think of…the fucking morning I went to Central Park and watched the sunrise and it was so..so quiet. I think- I think” he presses his lips together. “O-of-of Mikey. Of my brother. He’s dead. But. H-he. He protected me a lot, growin’ up. Helped me out. A lot. I felt like when Mikey was around, it was alright. And that’s how I felt earlier. I’m sorry-“ he shakes his head, putting the recliner down and finishing off his drink. 

“Why?” I ask and squeeze his hand “that’s…so, so sweet. You make me feel at peace too, unless you’re angry- but I was worried for you and what happened. I’m so happy I make you feel like that, Carmen. Thank you for sharing, may I hug you?” I ask gently and he looks at me a bit surprised. “Y-yea ‘fcourse c’mere” he opened his arms and I wrapped him in a warm embrace. “The way you make me laugh makes me feel the way my brother did when he made me laugh, we were twins. He died.” I said just above a whisper. 

He rests his cheek on the top of my head, rubbing soothing circles in my back as I did for him earlier. “I’m so sorry, what was his name?” He asked, equally as quiet. “Chris, Christopher” I felt my lip quiver, that never dulling ache in my chest throbbing at the memory of him. 

“Oh, wow” he whispered “Winnie and Christopher” I felt him smiling on my hair “your parents knew what they were doin’ with names, that’s adorable.” He said and I smiled a bit. “Thank you, can you guess what our nursery was?” I look up at him and he raises his eyebrows. 

“Hmm.. let me think. Oh! I know, Dumbo?” He says sarcastically and I laugh, closing my eyes and nuzzling my face in his neck “Silly. Winnie the Pooh, I always said it was my room, because they had a big wall sticker of Winnie and all his animal friends, but not one of Christopher since they couldn’t find one. He hated that” I said and his fingers gently rubbed over the spot of bare skin between my skirt and my top. I feel him chuckle a bit “that’s cute” he said. 

“How did Mikey…” I trail off, his fingers stilling. “Shot ‘emself” he said plainly and my hug around his torso tightens “I’m so sorry” I whisper in to his skin. “What about Chris?” He asked and I swallowed thickly. “We got in a motorcycle accident. I still can’t talk about it.” I said as evenly and emotionlessly as I could, if I opened that flood gate there was no shutting it. 

“Oh- my god. Wow. I’m so sorry, I’m so glad you’re….” He trails off, realizing the other victim was very much not ok in any sense of the word. I sit up, taking my half full drink off the table and drinking it down in 3 big gulps. “Want another?” He asks and I shake my head, “work tomorrow” I said and he nods, “yeah me too” he muttered rubbing over his face. 

“Can I…get your number?” I asked and he nodded sitting up “course you can” he said and took his phone out of his pocket, logged in and opened up a new contact screen, offering it to me. “Only if I can have yours” he said with a small smile. “Of course!!” I took it from him. 

Winnie 🍯  

I put as the contact name, and type in my number, hitting save before handing it back. I do the same for him on my phone and hand it to him, when it’s returned, I see 

Carm🐻 

I smile, deleting the emoji and switching it for a 🧸 instead. I show him with a tilt of my wrist “cause your awesome hugs.” I said and smiled, saving it again. He blushes, smiling and shaking his head “I think you’re the one who gives good hugs, you smell like honey and you’re all soft.” He said and I giggle. “I’m glad you like my perfume” I said and pushed my hair behind my shoulders. 

“I do, it’s very nice. You live around here?” He asks and I nod “2 blocks that-a-way” I point behind us and he raises his eyebrows. “Really, what street?” He asked “Kensington Ave. The brownstones” I said and he chuckled “No shit. I live in the high rise across the way” he said and my mouth drops. “Wow. Work neighbors, and building neighbors, we’ve never met?” I giggle “you've been avoiding me?” I ask and he chuckles “never, uhh. I’m like never home. I go there to sleep for a few hours, and my days off I…sleep…the whole day usually, I usually get home around 1am and leave at like 4ish, sometimes 5 if I sleep in” I raise my eyebrows in disbelief. 

“3 hours of sleep and you wonder why you feel 90? You need to sleep Carmen. You’re gonna have a heart attack.” I said and he chuckled. “If I would only be that lucky'' he joked, taking our empty glasses to the kitchen and I followed him “no- i'm serious, like you’re gonna drive yourself nuts.” I said, leaning on the counter watching him wash the glasses. 

“I am already there sweetheart don’t worry, been there- ahh let’s see, 20? Maybe 19. So 7 years of insanity give or take.” He said and I giggled, shaking my head. “You are not nuts. A crazy person couldn’t run a restaurant.” I said and he snorted “that speaking is the mind of someone who doesn’t work in a restaurant. No, you have to be a psycho to do this shit. Especially at the level I do it.” He shuts off the sink, putting the cups on the drying rack and leaning on his elbows on the table mirroring me from across. 

“I think you’re very, very passionate.” I brush his curls from his eyes “and that you sometimes get in your own way by not allowing people to help you.. which can make things harder” I said and he smiled, amusedly. “How do you already know so much about me, have you been stalking and avoiding me so I don’t find out?” He teases and I laugh. “Shut up, no. I have not. I dunno… like our souls know each other. That’s how I feel.” I shrug, crossing my hands under my chin and looking at him. 

“Hmm” he says. “Do you believe in past lives?” He asks and I nod “for sure. And future ones. I don’t think we can learn everything in one go that our souls need” I shrug and he nods a bit. “We need to talk more about this when I don’t have a pounding headache from being so overtired” he said softly and I pout, “c'mon let’s walk home.” I said and headed back to the office to grab my things. 

“I just have to go to the back and get my stuff gimme a few” he said from the kitchen. I waited by the island, shawl back on and bag on my shoulder. When he comes back out, my breath gets caught in my throat. Hes wearing delicious light grey sweatpants, blue Nike sneakers, and a plain white champion hoodie. As he lifted his arms to put his backpack on, the hoodie rode up, revealing his tight, toned stomach, and deep, deep V line. I lick my lips, imagining myself on my knees worshiping his god-like figure and he clears his throat. 

I looked up again, realizing he completely caught me red handed checking him out like the hottest new library book and I felt my cheeks heat, giving a shy smile. “Ready?” He asked and I nod “ready” I said meekly, mentally face palming for my lack of discretion. “Y’know it’s not a bad thing to check me out, right? I guess for earlier you can call us even” He asked as we walked down the hallway and I nearly tripped over my own feet at the boldness. “Fuck you” I roll my eyes playfully and he opens the door for me. 

“I’m a little tired right now, but for you? Anything. Your place or mine?” He asked and I laughed, slapping his chest playfully “you are a naughty, naughty little boy” I teased, wrapping my arms around his bicep as we walked. “Just letting you know allll the ways this glorious date could end” he said, a smug smirk on his face and I shook my head, looking at the sidewalk. 

This was so nice. I usually am needing to check behind me every couple steps, am tensing at every noise or stranger I pass, but with Carmen I feel protected. Secure. 

“I’ve never actually been able to enjoy this at night, I’m always looking over my shoulder wondering if I need to get my switchblade out” I chuckle shaking my head. “Switchblade? Damn. Can I see it?” He asks and I nod, digging in my purse and pulling out the pink knife attached with a MyMelody keychain to a can of mace. 

I pulled away from him, hopping a few steps ahead.  “Everybody watch out! I’m a woman that’s armed and dangerous!!” I giggle, clicking the little button and the hello kitty blade swings out with a click. He laughs, and I faced him, waving it around the air in front of me lightly “what’s so funny huh? I’m menacing Carmen, imagine I mugged you right now with a hello kitty knife” I said, causing him to laugh harder, clutching his stomach. 

“Oh my god - please” he snorts in laughter causing me to laugh. “Awww little piggy!!” I teased and he gasps pretending to be offended. “okay! Rude! You better not snort ever or you’ll be the piggy miss” he said making me start laughing again “you are at my mercy right now, sir, have you so easily forgotten?” I gently wave the pewny knife in front of his face. 

“Oh you sweet thing. I know you wouldn’t hurt a fly.” He plucks it from my fingers easily, closing it. “Only because I have the strongest little chef in all of Chicago to protect me. My knight in sexy gray sweatpants and a white sweatshirt” I mused, a playful smile dancing on my lips. “Mmm ok we’re getting there. I don’t like the little part, but- we’ll get there” he joked, dropping the knife back in my purse. 

“Oh, yeah?” I said, grabbing his arm again as we continued, our buildings come in to view. One of my hands trains down his arm, slinking my fingers to wrap between his. “Mmhmm” he hummed. 

I stopped again, standing in front of him and wrapping my arms around his neck loosely, standing on my tip-toes even in my heels to reach his ear. “I think that you know, that I know, you’re the sexiest, most hard working, passionate, gentleman - that I’ve ever had the pleasure of having a chance with. And I also think that you know, I have bratty tendencies, and love pulling your chain because I know it gets you going. You wanna know what I’m 100% sure of, though?” My sultry hot breath caused goosebumps to come up on his neck, his hands wrapping around my waist and squeezing gently. “Was’ that baby” he said softly, his voice laced with desire. I lace my fingers in his hair, gently tugging at his frizzy curls from the day. 

“I’m sure that you need a brat. Because what you need, Carmy.” I nibbled at his ear gently. His breath hitches in his throat, biting his lip to silence a soft moan. I wasn’t quite sure where all of this raw confidence and honesty was coming from, likely from the strong drink Carmy had made and my being a lightweight.

 “Is to be able to force someone in their place, and have full unrelinquished control over the entire situation. For someone to give themselves to you, be fully yours. To use. To love. To worship. Whatever you desire. Cause you’re a control freak. But that’s sexy, that’s soo sexy. I love a man who knows what he needs” I place a soft, lingering kiss on his racing pulse point. 

His hands trail down, cupping my ass before squeezing roughly and I moan softly at the contact. His hands were so strong, so large, but somehow the touch was still lacking confidence. “C-can I” he says softly, “can I kiss you, please?” He whispers. I lift my face to meet his, our noses brushing as I rest my forehead on his, looking into his eyes. His pupils were blown wide from both the dark and lust, the only peak of blue being a tiny sliver. 

“That depends,” I said with a smirk adorning my lips, I nuzzle my nose against his gently. “Will you kiss me how you want, Carm? Or how you think I want?” I ask and he licks his lips. “I want to make you happy” he whispers, I twirl a curl at the base of his neck around my finger. “It will make me happy, if you take what you want from me” I whispered. 

Before I could blink, his lips were on mine, kissing me hungrily- a war of tongue and lips, my fingers tightening around his hair and tugging smiling proudly when he moaned into my mouth. His hands trail my skirt, lifting it slightly to massage my backside in his hands wantingly. I let him take me, dominate me, own me in that moment, matching his hot feverish kisses as well as the sweet, gentle ones. We only broke apart to breathe, our chests rising and falling at an equal rapid pace. His lips were slick from our kiss, swollen from the rough encounter. He was beautiful. 

The only sound was the infrequent car passing, or the sound of the crickets that had made their homes in the small patches of grass on the side of the sidewalk that housed the trees. 

“I want you to come to family”

Read Chapter 5 Here!

 

[ofmoonlily]

//Oh my lanta. Dont ship with me. It literally becomes my whole life.

The scenarios, the plans, the weird aus, the sappy gross romance, turning everything into threads, the sudden appearance of babies, some weird angsty love shit, the constant bothering of new ideas, how I will never leave you alone (I always pull back when I notice its getting too much from me dw 😂), the moodboards, the tags. I just asdfghjkl

I get SO invested that it boarders on…weird. \o/

[valandhirwriter]

@battlestarbones - I am not sure it works that way. Had Charn died, then the pattern would have spun the thread of the dragon simply into another family, another existing line in the pattern. The wheel weaves as the wheel wills, and the pattern demands the dragon and will spin him out one way or another. The Aes Sedai who had the foretelling about him (in the books discussed, in the Lanta Sedai flashback from Rhuidean) only saw the threat in the pattern as it unfolded. And, as Rand states in one of the later books, foretelling is predicting probabilities, not 100% truth. That's what I love about WoT - you cannot simply say: if Person X had died, Person Z would not have existed - if the Pattern demands Person Z, then Person Z will happen, because the Wheel weaves it in again. And if the pattern deviates too much, there will be ta'veren, to get it back on the right course. There is causality, and there is a set structure that holds over the ages.

To me personally the fascinating part begins at the point where things can change. For example: Rand is born to Tigraine on the slopes of Dragon Mount, she dies, Tam finds him - BUT - what if Tam had not returned home? When for some reason he had chosen to remain elsewhere? He already was the second captain of the Illianer Companions, what if he had been drawn into another military role? Something that would have made him end up entirely elsewhere? The Basics of the prophecy (born to the ancient blood, raised by the old blood) would still have been intact, with Tam raising him - the rest is speculation.

Getting emotionally fucked up thinking about how Mierin's kindness to Charn in telling him to go spend the day with his family is the only reason he survived and is therefore the only reason Rand exists to be the Dragon Reborn and meet Lanfear all these years later

[zahrunnisa]

Membaca salah satu status seorang kawan membuat saya tergelitik utk menulis ttg Poverty Trap atau acap disebut jerat kemiskinan struktural

Dalam penelitian tsb dinyatakan bahwa seseorang yg tumbuh dalam kemiskinan akan lebih sulit utk sukses dibanding dg orang yg tumbuh berkecukupan.

Seseorang yg ber-privilege telah mencuri start awal bahkan sejak dalam kandungan krn kebutuhan gizinya terpenuhi dg baik, pun ketika bersekolah mendapatkan akses pendidikan dg fasilitas yg lebih baik. Sehingga kalaupun suatu saat org ini mengalami kegagalan dlm hidupnya, ia memiliki akses yg lebih baik dalam hal networking, mempunyai 'modal' yg cukup utk kembali lg menuju jalan kesuksesan.

Sementara seseorang yg tumbuh dlm kemiskinan, butuh usaha ekstra utk keluar dari lingkaran setan kemiskinan itu sendiri. Bagaimana tidak bahkan sejak di dalam kandungan pun sudah menderita stunting, pendidikan bisa jadi terputus krn ketiadaan biaya, apalagi networking. Alih-alih memenuhi kebutuhan yang sifatnya sekunder, bertahan

James Chen mendefinisikan poverty trap sebagai a mechanism that makes it very difficult to escape poverty, created when an economic system requires a significant amount of capital in order to earn enough to escape poverty. When individuals lack this capital, they may also find it difficult to acquire it, creating self-reinforcing cycle of poverty.

Lantas apakah teori tsb berlaku absolut? Tentu tidak, akan selalu ada hal yg tidak terduga dalam kehidupan dan dalam statistika hal tsb dinamakan outlier.

Terkait Poverty Trap ini bisa dibaca dlm thread yg dibuat oleh SMERU Institute, link tertera di bawah :

https://x.com/SMERUInstitute/status/1336246254141992960?t=Vi0YwfxB6SfMVF3-6hSFJA&s=19

[sariiishinohara]

#005

Minggu pagi, walau masih mengantuk, aku memutuskan untuk membuka sosial mediaku, sebagaimana yang dilakukan anak muda zaman sekarang. Aku men-scroll timeline akun tuitterku, yang rata-rata isinya opini mengenai politik dan autobase.

Hampir saja aku menutupnya dan hendak membuka game, karena aku menemukan suatu utas yang unik.

𝙋𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙠𝙪 𝙆𝙚𝙠𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙨𝙖𝙣 𝙎𝙚𝙠𝙨𝙪𝙖𝙡 𝙮𝙖𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙞𝙝 𝘽𝙪𝙧𝙤𝙣, 𝙖 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙

𝘏𝘢𝘭𝘰, 𝘮𝘢𝘢𝘧 𝘬𝘢𝘭𝘰 𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘢𝘯. 𝘈𝘬𝘶 𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘬 𝘪𝘯𝘪 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘩 𝘨𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘯...

Aku tidak mudah percaya dengan spill identitas di akun sosial media seperti ini, jujur saja. Siapa tahu, hal ini ditujukan untuk merusak nama baik seseorang, kan?

Aku lantas segera bangkit, lalu membuka laptop diatas meja belajarku. Untuk sekian waktu, aku berselancar dalam coding dan sistem keamanan data, menyusup ke dalamnya setelah merekayasa data sistem keamanan tersebut.

"Hooo... Si Mbak pemilik thread emang caper aja, cowoknya bersih anjay!" gumamku sambil menelisik kembali data dan mencocokannya dengan isi utas tersebut. Aku juga mencocokan screenshoot percakapan yang terlampir di thread dengan enkripsi data yang berhasil kutemukan.

"Itulah pentingnya, buat gak percaya isi chat yang cuma sepotong itu," lagi-lagi aku berkomentar, sambil menyalin data percakapan yang asli.

"Lho?" saat berselancar untuk mencari bukti yang bisa membersihkan nama baik korban doxxing dan fitnah ini, aku menemukan sesuatu yang sangat lucu, hingga aku nyaris tertawa dibuatnya.

"Katanya dilecehin. Tapi kok... Merayu seseorang buat berhubungan badan sama dia? ORANG GILA!"

"HAH?! APA?!" lagi-lagi aku dibuat terkejut, dengan beberapa fakta yang kutemukan.

"Nggak, orang ini emang pernah dilecehin, oke. Tapi..." sedetik kemudian, aku dibuat geleng-geleng kepala.

"....tapi beberapa saat setelah dia dilecehin, dia chat si mas yang di spill ini, lalu maksa berhubungan badan. WHAT THE HELL?! Mbak ini waras gak sih?! Setelah berhubungan badan, padahal dilakukan dengan konsen, ngaku kalo Mas-nya yang lecehin si Mbak. Stres. Sakit jiwa!"

Entah pada siapa, aku marah-marah sendiri. Habisnya, aku bener-bener tak habis pikir. "Kok bisa ada orang serendah ini?"

Aku kembali ke utas pelecehan tersebut, dan mendapati kalau si 'pelaku' sudah dihujat habis-habisan, akibat pembeberan fakta yang sepotong itu. "Ini gak bisa dibiarin... Spill balik, kayaknya enak, nih."

Aku lantas mengumpulkan semua data yang diperlukan. Lalu dengan akun cyber-ku, 𝙨𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙤𝙧𝙞, kubuka semua fakta mengenai utas kebohongan tersebut. Bahwa si 𝙠𝙤𝙧𝙗𝙖𝙣 adalah 𝙥𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙠𝙪, begitupun sebaliknya.

Utas milikku pun ramai, bahkan sampai di-up ke berbagai autobase. Membayangkan wajah sang pemilik utas kini panik, aku tersenyum sendiri.

Bukankah namaku Rino, yang memiliki arti 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘥𝘢 𝘬𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘭𝘢𝘯? Kalau aku membalik posisi korban dan pelaku demi menyelamatkan nama baik seseorang, aku tak salah, kan?

Namun jujur saja, aku melakukan ini bukan karena aku murni ingin membersihkan nama baik seseorang. Melainkan karena aku suka melihat wajah menderita seseorang akibat cyber bullying, terlebih karena ulahnya sendiri. Seperti ada kepuasan batin dalam diriku.

"Berani bertindak, harus berani bertanggung jawab, bukan? Makanya, jangan berani main sebar fitnah. Mamam tuh!!"

Kuputuskan untuk mematikan laptopku, lalu beranjak keluar kamar. Perutku sudah lapar, dan membuat keributan di dunia maya lumayan memakan energiku.

[laurameliala]

"Idealisme" Rasanya sebelum menulis tentang topik ini, masih banyak sekali aspek-aspek yang harus saya pahami sampai akhirnya bisa membuat kesimpulan. Tapi, siang ini adalah waktu yang tepat untuk menulis, berhubung baru saja dibuat menangis oleh suatu thread di X. Rasanya semua scene yang menggores hati dan semua yang ada di fikiran mengenai idealisme, tiba-tiba mencuat di ujung kepala. So here we go. Ada 2 hal yang membuat topik ini selalu ada di fikiran saya. Izinkan saya menceritakan semuanya satu persatu, tapi seperti biasa, dengan gaya fikir saya yang sangat emosional, sensitif dan unapologetic. 1. No hard feelings by Liz Fosslien & Mollie West Duffy - ini adalah judul buku yang subjudulnya adalah "The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work". Dengan iming-iming cover yang eyecatchy, wall street journal bestseller dan subjudul yang relatable, buku ini pasti memang buat saya. Benar, buku ini memang lagi "hangat-hangatnya" saya butuhkan. Kenapa? Begini. - As a background, sekarang saya sekolah dokter spesialis di salah satu universitas negeri yang pendidikannya berbasis praktik kedokteran, alias belajar sambil bekerja. Saya rasa topik betapa bobroknya sistem pendidikan dokter spesialis Indonesia boleh saya tulis di lain waktu, tapi intinya saya sekarang bekerja di RS Rujukan se-Sumatera Utara, atau yang kalau sering saya sampaikan ke pasien "Bapak/Ibu jangan takut, Bapak/Ibu sudah berada di RS dengan dokter yang lengkap. Diatas RS ini, tidak ada lagi yang lain. Bapak/Ibu harus sembuh disini, tenang saja ya". Holistik. Doesn't matter if it's true or not, but we literally called it 'terapi muncung'. - Keseharian saya adalah melakukan pelayanan kedokteran dan pendidikan kedokteran. Saat melayani, saya bertemu dengan pasien, perawat, pegawai RS, kolega (senior/junior) dan supervisor. Saat menjalani pendidikan, saya bertemu dengan kolega dan supervisor. Jadi, rasio kontak saya dengan kolega dan supervisor adalah tinggi. Seperti pada umumnya, dunia kerja tidak dipenuhi oleh 100% orang yang melakukan hal-hal yang benar atau yang saya masih kenal dengan "Idealis". Setiap hari ada saja ketidaksetaraan atau ketidakadilan yang saya jumpai, baik dari kolega atau mostly supervisor. Setiap hari dan saya jujur masih sangat terganggu dan belum bisa tidak mengkerutkan dahi melihat ketidakadilan itu. Katanya memang hidup unfairly fair to everyone, sepertinya sih tidak. Mulai dari perlakuan yang tidak sama saat tampil ilmiah, beban kerja yang tidak sama, standar ganda terhadap peserta didik hingga hal-hal yang bahkan menyentuh ketidak-profesionalan dalam menghadapi pasien. It happens naturally, everyone knows and everyone just pretend that it's not. -Oleh karena itu, buku ini saya beli supaya saya mengerti caranya bersikap profesional saat menghadapi emosi-emosi negatif di tempat kerja, supaya saya mengerti cara untuk tetap sehat secara mental di tempat kerja dan supaya saya mengerti bahwa memiliki semua emosi tersebut adalah hal yang normal. Buku ini sangat membantu, terutama untuk orang-orang seperti saya yang saat kerja hatinya juga dibawa.

2. Pemilu dan Gibran Gibran kemungkinan besar tidak melanggar apapun dalam caranya untuk mencapai kursi Wakil Presiden. Bersih, tak bercela, semuanya sangat apik dan tidak ada pelanggaran hukum. Kalau begitu boleh dong kesimpulannya orang lain hanya "sirik" karena tidak mampu? Tidak mampu apa? Tidak mampu lahir dari anak seorang presiden?Hal ini saya debatkan dengan seseorang dengan begitu banyaknya bantahan yang mengatakan saya terallu idealis, saya malah semakin yakin bahwa idealis saya itu bare minimum yang dibutuhkan supaya jangka panjang, Indonesia ini tidak dipenuhi oleh orang-orang dengan pemikiran "ya sudahlah mau gimana lagi". Tidak berlebihan saya rasa jika dimasa depan kita dijajah, lalu lantas hanya modal "We've done our best, yamau gimana lagi?". Idealismu ya bare minimum, you haven't even touch it, apalagi "your best". Saya tetap tidak akan pahami orang-orang yang belum bisa call out Gibran dalam hal ini. Menurut saya, hingga sekarang, "idealis" seharusnya bahkan menjadi bare minimum. Idealis boleh hanya berupa harapan atau target yang belum tentu bisa direalisasikan. Idealis tidak harus realistis, tapi saya mau semua orang tau bahwa yang benar adalah si perempuan lemah yang teriak teriak idealis itu. Jadi, mengatakan seseorang terlalu idealis itu sama dengan terlalu tinggi berharap. Apa salah kalau yang miskin berharap suatu saat kaya? Tidak. Apa bisa dia seumur hidup tetap miskin? Bisa sekali. Saya juga bukan anak kemarin sore yang belum tau asam garam hidup, belum tau susah, belum tau perjuangan sampai idealisnya harus diganti dengan kalimat "belum paham aja kamu". Justru saya paham, kalian yang ga kurang banyak baca, belajar dan melihat dunia lebih besar. Orang-orang yang baik karena terpaksa atau tidak, hidupnya hanya untuk diri sendiri dan keluarga kecilnya, tidak paham artinya. 3. Punya keponakan Baru punya keponakan, rasanya sangking cinta matinya sama anak bayi ini, ingin sekali dunia ini jadi tempat yang lebih layak dan pantas untuk dihidupi. Ingin juga rasanya dia hidup dan tumbuh jadi anak yang paham indahnya hidup ini tanpa harus lupa bahwa hidup ini juga penuh ketidakadilan dan tidak selalu sesuai harapan. Tapi, semoga anak bayi tetap kuat dan bisa membedakan benar atau salah ya.

[chaoticallycosmic]

Atalanta was about to protest him giving her his jacket but he was already taking it off. The princess accepted it with a smile, at least it would do until she could change. "You may call me, Lanta, if you want. I know my name is a bit of a mouthful," she chuckled softly. Being called Atalanta also reminded her of when she was being scolded by her parents for not acting like a royal and escaping her protection detail. "It's a pleasure to meet you as well, Xavier, even though I made you spill your coffee on me," she hoped he would catch on that she was teasing. "I hope I won't make you late for your plans for the day, though," she said as she walked into the cafe and waited for him to follow her. Looking over her shoulder she was glad to find that neither of her bodyguards was in sight, apparently, no one had noticed she had escaped once again. Which just elated her mood even more, she could pretend to actually be normal, maybe for a whole day, and enjoy more of Xavier's company. If he was agreeable to that. "And I promise you I'm fine, by the way, and I know how to get rid of coffee stains, so you don't have to worry about my clothes either," she grinned at him.

The empty cup in his hand would have been somewhat of a bother to him had he been the only one to suffer in the circumstance. It was easy to be angry at himself. He couldn’t focus on that though when he was wracked with guilt for spilling the staining liquid all over the beautiful stranger. “It was a mutual effort,” he offered with a chuckle, “I’m alright, really. It’s just a coffee. Are you sure you’re alright?” Surprise was clear in his expression, though he definitely would need a cup of coffee regardless. There was a protest barely contained by his buttoned lip but it died when she made it clear she wouldn’t be deterred. Instead, a small smile formed under his beard. Xavier offered a well calloused hand to her. “I suppose if I can’t say no, can I at least offer you my jacket instead?” He was already slipping it off. He doubted it would be nice to have the breeze against the rapidly cooling liquid. “Xavier. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Atalanta.”

[thespamman24]

Pop Controversies: Apparently, famed singer Lara Lanta broke up with her boyfriend Duke Dagobond via text!

Rock Controversies: 70 year old guitarist Daniel Wiliconsin goes on racist tirade against Mongolians in the middle of a concert.

Indie Controversies: Okay, so, the lead singer of the band Mental Symbioses tripped and fell in a puddle, and a music critic referenced this when he called their latest album, “Phazed in the Rubble”, “Face in the Puddle.” So, the lead singer then wrote a really long twitter thread accusing the critic of being a communist and

Country Controversies: This guy said the n word.

Rap Controversies: 26 year old rapper Big Little goes on racist tirade against Mongolians in the middle of a concert.

Metal Controversies: The drummer of the band Deathfart just shot a man.

[isikepalapu]

di 23 tahun yang ku lalui.

Untuk mengingat-ingat beberapa hal tentang bagaiamana ini dijalanani, bagaimana kepala ini berpikir, bagaimana diri ini bersikap, dan apa-apa saja yang telah, akan, dan enggan dicapai.

Menyadari bahwa fase cocok-tidak cocok dengan orang lain masih berlanjut hingga sedewasa ini. Tidak hanya anak kecil, orang dewasa pun juga berkonflik.

Mengemban ketakutan akan kesehatan orang tua; yang menua-mengharap segala banyak kepana anak namun belum tergapai-melelahkan pikiran-mengganggu kesehatan. //menjadi terpikirkan untuk memulai olah raga sedini mungkina-menbahagiakan batin-menekan harapan kepada di luar kendali agar kelak menua namun tetap segar bugar & bahagia.

Relasi manusia itu unik. Relasi dalam berpasangan terutama. Sangat unik. Saat kecil berpikir bahwa mencintai = menikah; menikah = cukup dengan saling mencintai = tidak ada cinta lain selain yang kamu cintai itu. Tidak. Akhirnya menyadari makna ucapan "kita bisa menikah dengan siapa saja namun kita tidak bisa mengontrol kepada siapa kita jatuh cinta". Ternyata, tidak serta merta saat berpasangan dengan seseorang lantas mematikan rasa kagum terhadap sosok lain. Dalam hubungan, ada yang masih bertahan belasan hingga puluhan tahun namun sama-sama menggores luka, bukan karna masih saling mencinta atau meromantiasasikan bahwa cinta abadi adalah blablabla namun kenyataannya banyak pertimbangan yang di mana resiko bila berpisah justru lebih menyeramkan.

Semakin dewasa, semakin tidak ingin terlampau lama berada di jauh dari orang tua.

Di datangi saat hanya akan dibutuh kan bukan suatu hal yang menyebalkan.

Menyadari posisi kita tidak yg utama dalam tingkat priorotas orang lain bukan suatu yang harus dipusingkan.

Susu bayi ternyata mahal. Masih lebih siapa secara mental & finansial untuk memelihara kucing. Its not FOMO, its anak muda yg effortless & masih egois untuk menunda kebahagiaannya sendiri. Maaf ya nak, di 23 tahun mama belum bisa menahan diri untuk nda beli jajan demi bisa beli susu/ popok mu. Maaf ya, kamu hadirnya ntar ntar dulu.

Pusing antara harus menitih karir di bidang mana. Yang sesuai maunya org tua? Sesuai passion ku? Sesuai budget hidup ku?

Aturan dari jaman mahasiswa lebih konsen upgrade cv

23 tahun tapi masih butuh di antar orang tua buat berobat tapi di satu sisi malu kok udah gede maumauan nyuruh simbah2 buat nemenin, kayaknya emang pantasnya di antar pasangan hidup tapi 23 tahun masih lebih mempercayakan segala keluh kesah ke sehatan untuk didampingi keluarga. Tersugesti kalau yg dampingi bukan orang rumah kayaknya sembuhnya bakal lama.

Temen-temen kok kayak ada bedanya dulu vs sekarang. Aku tuh dilihat ada bedanya ga ya?

Tidak artinya menikah dengan jalur pacaran = hidup berantakan; menikah dengan jalur ta'aruf = hidup lancar jaya. Suka-suka yang punya semesta mau bagaiaman alurnya. Kalau suka-suka kamu dan jalannya paten, nanti kamu sok tau.

Tidak suka tidak sama dengan benci

Filosofi Teras, Sebuah Seni Bersikap Bodoamat, thread twitter perihal perbedaan jatuh cinta bedes lanang vs wadon oleh Ryuhasaan, tonight show, kumpulan meme twitter, shit post absurd, lagu-lagu jebolan soundcloud, sex edu by sisilism, video edu parenting terutama oleh dailyjour, akun IG bapak2.id, segala tulisan di Quora, film tema drama keluarga/ hororr/ gore/ sci-fi adalah referensi segala isi kepala di 23 thn.

Mulai skeptis denga segala huru hara terutama di tktk -.-

Masalah orang Twitter bukan urusan gw

Akan marah jika thread pelecehan namun bermula dari sama-sama mau bertemu di ruang privasi.

Suka mikir orang baru yg masuk ke kehidupan asliya psikopat/ begal/ tukang hipnotis/ niatnya pasti kalau ga jahat, jahat bgt. Apalagi yang tautau ada di kontak whatsapp, hallo... Kita punya sosial media lain untuk sekedar say hi, WA itu ranah privas kalau kamu tau-tau di sana pasti kamu agen pinjol!

Kalau mau telfon, chat dulu. Angkat telfon & say something on that itu butuh effort besar. Kalau urgent, chat dulu. Kalau tidak chat=tidak urgent.

Sebisa mungkin meminimalisasi konflik. Kalau kamu hidup penuh konflik & mau bagi-bagi konflik aduuuh makasih aku pusing kepalaku cuma satu.

Paras bukan segalanya, wawasan luas & good speaker & listener & frekuensi humor yg sama baru bisa jadi segalanya.

Tidak ada kehidupan yg sempurnya. Pasti ada pusing nya. Semakin terlihat sempurna = pusingnya pasti makin makin.

[hellopersimmonpie]

Baca thread ini dan jadi merenung. Dulu, gue pernah gagal ngelanjutin hubungan sama so called mantan karena beliau pengen gue resign sementara gue seneng banget sama kerjaan gue.

Habis peristiwa ini, gue jadi berkontemplasi juga sih. Gue tuh orangnya selow banget selama hidup. Lha kok ternyata gue bisa lebih milih kerjaan dibanding mantan padahal gue juga sayang sama dia 😂 ewwwww 😂

Gue emang selalu punya target tinggi dalam ngerjain sesuatu tapi ya selow aja. Mau tercapai, mau enggak, yang penting dikerjain sengan senang hati.

Cuman ternyata pas diminta ninggalin kerjaan, gue nggak sanggup hha.

Dari SMA udah pengen banget jadi jurnalis. Belajar rajin biar bisa masuk PTN jurusan jurnalistik atau ilmu komunikasi. Tapi begitu sama ortu dibelokin ke Teknik Informatika tuh nggak banyak protes. Udah belok aja ga pake mikir.

Pae kuliah, gue masih ngejar cita-cita jadi jurnalis. Nah, di semester 5 gue akhirnya mulai suka sama bidang gue sendiri dan akhirnya ngejar buat belajar data mining. Habis gitu, gue ambil S2 Fast Track dan pengen langsung lanjut S3 tentunya. Udah nyari LoA dan dapet kampus di jerman tapi nggak jadi berangkat karena masih harus terapi depresi akibat trauma masa kecil. Nah, sambil nunggu terapi selesai, gue daftar jadi dosen. Maunya daftar Teknik Informatika tapi malah belok ke Teknologi Game dan surprisingly gue seneng kerja di sini.

Bicara soal ambis, mungkin pengalaman hidup emang selalu membentuk perspektif yang berbeda dalam memandang sesuatu. Gue pernah cerita kalo gue orangnya flat hhaa. Mau ada "rival" ato kagak, cara kerja gue ya flat aja. Jarang insecure karena perkara semacam ini.

Sumber insecure gue ternyata ketika gue diminta berhenti ngelakuin apa yang gue suka. Itu doang. Cita-cita dibelokin tuh ga masalah buat gue karena gue bisa punya cita-cita yang lain lagi 😅 Tapi kalo disuruh stop dan jangan ngejar apa-apa lagi, gue ngerasa nggak berdaya hha.

Pas gue ngobrol soal ini ke temen, gue jadi dapet insight. Ternyata emang ada orang yang tolak ukur keberhasilannya adalah dia harus ada di atas atau keinginan dia harus tercapai. Gue jadi belajar sudut pandang temen gue juga.

Selama ini, gue sering banget dapet komentar kayak gini dari orang lain:

(Sorry kalo bahasa gue campur-campur dan grammarnya mbulet. Otak gue emang suka berantakan)

Siapa diri kita di mata kita tuh ternyata beda dengan siapa diri kita di mata orang lain. Gue, dari zaman SMA tuh udah nyari duit sendiri. Makanya biarpun nggak dari keluarga kaya, gue bisa mengeksplore banyak hal karena gue beneran sadar kalau kita pengen pergi jauh, harus mau kerja keras dan fleksibel sama keadaan. Mau dibelokin kayak apa tuh nggak boleh patah.

Gue selama ini memandang diri gue ya cuma sebagai orang yang berusaha bertahan hidup dengan ngejalanin apa yang gue suka aja. Soalnya dari usia sekolah harus bertahan sama dampak bullying. Kalo gue nggak punya hal yang gue suka, nggak ada yang memalingkan pikiran gue dari rasa takut sama dunia luar. Nggak ada yang memalingkan pikiran gue dari perasaan capek dan pengen berhenti jalanin hidup. Makanya pas ibu wafat, gue ngerasa film gue harusnya udah finish karena nggak ada lagi yang perlu gue kejar. Waktu itu gue cuma bilang ke diri sendiri:

"Kamu harus ngelanjutin hidup. Novel kamu belum selesai"

Ini sama kayak pas gue sekolah. Gue selalu bilang ke diri gue:

"Kamu tetep harus semangat buat hidup. Kamu belum masuk PTN"

Jadi ya fokus gue selama ini cuman ngejalanin apa yang gue suka. Berpetualang sama hal baru. Nyari duit buat modal hidup dan seterusnya 😅 Dengan hidup gue yang kayak gini, orang di sekeliling gue selalu bilang kalo gue nggak pernah mikir masa depan karena di umur segini masih aja hidupnya isi main-main doang. Nyobain makanan baru lah. Nyobain gadget baru lah dan seterusnya.

Sementara di sisi lain, ada yang memandang gue ambis banget karena selalu ngejar banyak hal. Belum lagi sering banget dibilang ga pernah bego dan selalu ada di posisi yang nggak menyisakan ruang buat ngerasa inferior alias di atas mulu. Makanya dari dulu gue jarang percaya sama penilaian orang karena ya gitu itu.

Kalo gue diem pas di keramaian, orang lain nyangka gue minder sama physical appearance gue. Padahal aslinya ya karena introvert aja. Nggak suka suasana rame. Kalo kenal ya bisa cerewet banget dan harus distop biar berhenti ngomong.

Sementara kalo gue semangat ngejalanin suatu hal, seringnya dibilang ambis dan nggak pernah struggle di posisi paling bawah. Dulu gue kesel sih kalo diginiin 😂 Tapi sekarang bisa santai aja dengerin hal kayak gitu karena pengalaman orang kan beda-beda. Makanya mindsetnya suka beda-beda juga.

Cuman, gara-gara itu juga gue belajar untuk tidak menilai orang lain secara dangkal.

Dari temen gue, gue belajar bahwa mungkin di usia sekolah dulu, kita semacam dikasih doktrin bahwa tolak ukur kesuksesan kita tuh:

"Harus superior dibanding yang lain"

"Harus di atas orang lain"

"Harus jadi nomor satu di bidangnya"

Sementara gue nggak pernah mikir kayak gitu karena somehow itu irrelevant 😂 Kita nggak akan bisa selamanya di atas orang lain karena di atas langit ya pasti ada langit lagi. Makanya kalo tolak ukur keberhasilan kamu harus selalu mewah semacam itu, alih-alih menyemangati, cita-cita kamu malah bisa jadi sumber patah hati.

Bapak gue tuh penjahit jas dari tahun 70 an. Beliau udah bikin ribuan jas kayaknya. Tapi dari dulu sampai sekarang, beliau selalu happy tiap ngelihat jas beliau selesai dijahit. Nah, pas kecil, gue sering banget belajar di tempat kerja bapak. Ini tuh juga ngasih pengalaman sendiri sih karena dari beliau, gue belajar mencintai pekerjaan dengan baik. Dan gue menganggap belajar adalah bagian dari pekerjaan gue 😂

Gue nggak peduli sama nilai raport. Orang tua gue juga ga peduli dengan itu. Yang bikin gue bahagia saat belajar adalah ketika gue menemukan konsep-konsep baru yang ngebuat gue memahami dunia dengan lebih baik, punya sudut pandang baru sampai hidup yang pahit ini kerasa indah.

Nah, sampai sekarang, gue juga masih punya cita-cita dan nggak pernah berhenti ngejar sesuatu. Kalo definisi ambis adalah tetep semangat ngejar sesuatu, mungkin gue bisa masuk kategori ini.

Tapi kalo kategori ambis adalah harus menjadi superior dibanding yang lain, gue ga masuk kriteria ini karena sejak dulu gue sadar kalo gue cuma bagian dari statistik aja 😂 Yang kayak gue banyak. Yang lebih tinggi dari gue tuh pasti banyak juga.

Makanya gue selalu bilang kalo sumber self esteem yang baik adalah pemahaman tentang siapa kita sebagai manusia. Bukan superioritas dibanding yang lain. Cintai kerjaan kamu dengan baik. Kalo cita-cita ndak tercapai ya bikin aja lagi 😅

Hubungan manusia dengan cita-cita itu personal banget kok. Gue ga memandang rendah ke orang yang takut jadi medioker. Gue juga pernah ada di posisi itu. Pas ibu sakit dan gue nggak punya duit. Gue nyalahin diri kenapa gue nggak berjuang buat kerja di perusahaan bergaji tinggi 😂 Tapi pas gue waras lagi ya gue balik ke pikiran lama:

"Namanya juga udah takdir"

Lantas gue jalanin hidup dengan selow lagi tapi dengan tambahan pelajaran bahwa gue perlu mikirin target finansial. Jangan main mulu 😂

Kalo kamu masih menjadikan superioritas sebagai tolak ukur keberhasilan, coba lihat apa yang kita kerjain dengan detail. Siapa tahu malah jatuh cinta dan kita jadi paham bahwa untuk bahagia, manusia nggak harus jadi superior atau di puncak piramida. Medioker asal bisa makan enak dan menikmati hidup aja udah lebih dari cukup

[wedangrondehangat]

Cerpen : Puluhan Tanda Tanya

Hal-hal kecil seperti apakah kamu suka jengkol dan pete, apakah jika tidur kamu mematikan lampu atau tidak, atau soal film-film favoritmu, buku-buku menarik yang pernah kamu baca, tempat-tempat yang selesai kamu jelajah, jenis-jenis kopi yang telah kamu teguk, aku ingin membicarakannya nanti saja.

Tersebab seperti kata Mas Gun dalam bukunya, “Aku tidak sedang mencari teman minum kopi atau membaca buku, tidak juga sedang mencari teman naik gunung. Aku mencari teman hidup di dunia dan akhirat. Seseorang yang bisa bersama menuju-Nya. Dan aku tidak peduli dengan selain itu.”

Jadi, biarkan aku bertanya-tanya tentang beberapa hal. Semoga hal-hal yang membuatku penasaran, tidak lantas membuatmu risih dan merasa aku agresif. Untuk menjadikan sesuatu menjadi selamanya, bukankah begitu banyak persiapan, juga tanda tanya yang akan bergulir di dalamnya?

Aku penasaran seberapa sering kakimu kamu langkahkan ke masjid? Tersebab anggota laki-laki di keluargaku sangat sebegitunya dengan masjid. Laki-laki harus shalat ke masjid adalah sebuah prinsip yang mengakar. Pantang bagi laki-laki shalat di rumah kecuali ada alasan yang dibenarkan seperti sakit atau imbauan pemerintah ketika pandemi sedang ganas-ganasnya. Aku ingin kamu bisa menyamakan ritmemu dengan kebiasaan baik di keluargaku.

Aku penasaran dengan pilihan politikmu. Aku jengkel karena kamu tahu pilihanku saat pemilu waktu itu, hanya karena akun si calon presiden tersebut berada di daftar followingku. Hih! Sepertinya terlalu banyak rahasiaku padamu.

Soal pandangan politik ini aku perlu tahu, tersebab keluarga besarku "sangat melek" terhadap politik dan kami solid berada di barisan politik yang sama. Grup whatsapp keluarga besarku tidak pernah yang namanya meributkan perkara pilihan saat pilkada atau pemilu karena kami memiliki suara yang sama.

Aku ingin tahu apakah keluargamu memiliki hutang atau kamu memiliki tanggungan atau semacam janji-janji pada orang tuamu? Hutang yang jika aku menjadi bagian dari keluargamu kelak akan membawaku juga untuk mengambil tanggungjawab? Keluargaku sendiri bukanlah tipe keluarga yang berhutang. Ayahku memang mengambil pinjaman, tetapi di koperasi kantornya sendiri. Akan terbayar seiring gajinya yang terpotong. Mengambil pinjaman guna membiayai sekolah anak-anaknya, bukan untuk foya-foya apalagi sekedar gaya hidup. Lebih baik tidak membeli sesuatu jika tak memiliki uang. Tetapi soal sekolah, adalah hal berbeda.

Jangan terkejut dengan keadaan rumahku atau hal-hal yang ternyata nanti tak seperti ekspektasimu. Ayahku sangat sederhana dan ibuku tak pernah malu usaha apapun. Karena seperti katamu, yang terpenting adalah tanggungjawab dan komitmen. Aku menggarisbawahi bagian itu.

Aku juga ingin tahu bagaimana caramu menjabat tangan teman-teman perempuanmu. Hal kecil dengan risiko besar yang sering dilupakan banyak orang. Sesepele bersentuhan dengan non-mahrom saat berjabatan tangan dapat menarik seseorang ke dalam neraka. Salah satu hal yang aku sesali di masa laluku. Bagaimana denganmu?

Aku juga ingin tahu seperti apa sikapmu saat marah. Hal apa yang biasanya memicu amarahmu? Aku takut jika ada kekuranganku yang kelak akan membuatmu marah. Ya ampun, aku hampir menangis menulis bagian ini! Siapa yang tidak sedih bila orang yang disayanginya marah? Aku takut ada hal-hal yang kulakukan dan itu membuatmu murka.

Kekasih sahabatku yang sering dibangga-banggakan bertahun-tahun oleh sahabatku itu, ternyata berselingkuh di belakangnya, entah apa alasannya. Seorang sahabat lainnya yang tumbuh dan sukses bersama-sama kekasihnya, siapa sangka ternyata memiliki toxic relationship. Sahabatku terjebak di dalamnya, selalu bercerita padaku tentang hal yang sama, tentang kekasihnya yang kasar meski hanya umpatan verbal tetapi tetap saja sahabatku selalu menangis karenanya. Ia terjebak di sana dan entah kapan bisa lepas dari jeratan hubungan beracun itu. Belum lagi, kekasih sahabatku yang lainnya kerapkali bercerita di publik saat amarahnya meledak-ledak terhadap sahabatku. Harga diri sahabatku sudah hancur dengan perusakan nama baiknya lewat thread maupun status atau stories yang dibuat oleh kekasihnya sendiri yang sering menyalahkannya.

Apakah jika sedang marah kamu akan pergi kepada orang lain? Atau akan memaki-maki aku dengan kasar atau akan diam seribu bahasa dan membuatku kebingungan sepanjang waktu? Adakah yang bisa kulakukan agar kamu memaafkanku?

Aku juga penasaran seberapa sering kamu pergi nongkrong dengan teman-temanmu. Salah satu yang aku khawatirkan. Karena banyak teman perempuanku di luar sana yang sering curhat ke sosmed bahwa suami mereka sering nongkrong hingga larut malam. Lupa kalau di rumah ada istri dan anak yang menanti mereka. Nongkrong itu boleh saja selama dalam batasan wajar dan kepentingan yang masuk akal.

Aku juga ingin tahu apakah kamu tertarik mempelajari pola pengasuhan? Seberapa tertariknya kamu sampai kelak ingin turut membantu dalam prosesnya? Di luar sana ada banyak sekali suami yang hanya bekerja mencari nafkah, tanpa melibatkan diri dalam pengasuhan anak.

Teringat perkataan Bunda Elly Risman, "Berayah dia ada, berayah dia tiada." Bahwasannya di dalam Al-Qur'an, yang bertanggungjawab atas pengasuhan kebanyakan disebutkan adalah laki-laki, tetapi mengapa peran perempuan seringnya lebih besar? Menjadi ayah adalah nomor satu, bukan menjadi pekerja nomor satu. Jadi, pulangkan ayah ke rumahnya. :')

Ayahlah yang membangunkan anak-anaknya, memandikannya, mengajaknya shalat shubuh ke masjid, sarapan bersama. Bukankah menyenangkan beribadah dan belajar bersama? Beribadah untuk-Nya, belajar untuk menjadi hamba yang dicintai-Nya.

Aku juga ingin tahu apakah kamu tipe morning person atau bukan? Kalau bukan, biar kuceritakan sedikit padamu bahwa ada banyak hal baik yang kamu lewatkan begitu saja jika pagimu masih berkutat di tempat tidur. Bangunlah, minumlah kopimu. Hirup udara pagi yang segar itu, lihatlah para pekerja keras yang berlalu lalang di jalanan. Lalu, bersyukurlah bahwa kita masih diberi kesempatan hidup di hari itu untuk terus beribadah dan belajar. Iya, kan?

Jadi, apakah ini sebuah cerita pendek yang terlalu panjang?

[amsmnjntk]

Day 13 Ramadhan

Hari ini habis baca thread di twitter, tentang orang yang habis ketipu sama pacar online yang dia kenal lewat aplikasi tinder. Kalo gak salah, dia sampai hilang sekitar 4juta-an ditambah dengan data-data pribadi yang dia kirimkan ke pacar onlinenya itu. Respon spontan aku, tentu saja mirip-mirip dengan kebanyakan netizen lainnya. Merasa sok benar dengan anggapan “kok bisa jaman sekarang masih ketipu sama pacar online yang gak pernah ditemui”. Argumen ini berdasarkan dengan asumsi bahwa yang bersangkutan adalah pemain sosial media, yang kemungkinan besar pernah dengar atau baca tentang kasus yang serupa.

Tapi setelah dipikir-pikir, sepertinya kesempatan seseorang bisa tertipu itu sebenarnya bukan hanya sekadar karena ke-tidak-tahu-an aja gak sih. Karena rasanya, justru beberapa korban penipuan online seperti ini adalah orang-orang yang tahu, tapi emang tingkat ke-hati-hati-annya saja yang sedang longgar.

Misalnya nih, Luna Maya juga pernah tertipu dengan modus hadiah dari operator seluler yang kemudian minta no OTP dan transaksi di salah satu e-wallet sampe harus hilang 2 juta. Ada juga kasus seorang atasan salah satu bank yang tertipu oleh teman onlinenya (yang gak pernah ketemu) di luar negeri, sampai ludes ratusan juta kalo gak salah. 

Dilihat dari 2 kasus diatas, korbannya kan adalah orang yang tentu saja cukup tahu dan paham tentang modus penipuan yang sejenis ini. Tapi kok bisa masih kena aja? ya itu tadi, mungkin karena tingkat ke-hati-hati-annya sedang lemah. Bisa jadi karena baru bangun tidur, atau mungkin karena sedang frustasi dan ada masalah, dsb. Sehingga mudah untuk diperdaya sama para penipu online.

Ada juga sih yang beranggapan bahwa hal seperti itu bisa juga karena hipnotis dan segala rupa yang bikin korbannya gak berdaya, makanya nurut aja kalo disuruh transfer. Tapi ya kalo yang begituan sih aku ndak paham, jadi no comment.

Lantas jadinya, kalo ada yang lagi cerita bahwa dirinya jadi korban hal serupa lebih baik ya jangan di kasih komentar pedas apalagi sampai dibodoh-bodohi. Karena bagaimanapun ya dia ini lagi apes, jadi cukup didengerin aja. Dan juga semoga kita semua dijauhi dari kejahatan-kejahatan yang demikian ya. Aamiin

Bandung, 15 April 2022

[pacific-rimbaud]

You are an absolute master crafting in all these arcs & freaking HEARTACHES throughout such a fun fun fun story. My lanta. What a stunning chapter! I could go on & on.

P.s. As soon as my 3 year old inevitable asks for a pet one of these days I am most definitely going to petco for a one William Wartwilliam toad. No exceptions.

I'm thrilled to finally arrive where this story was always going and gather in the threads. It had been long enough that I wasn't sure many people would still want to read, so thank you for coming back. I'm so glad you liked the chapter! 100% chance the Avery boys sneaked William Wartwilliam home and then lost him somewhere inside their house. He escaped to the woods and lived a grand toad life successfully avoiding children.

[langitmadiinah]

A Thread: Gitu Aja Baper

Langit Madiinah

"Halah, gitu aja baper."

"Lebay banget sih,"

"Biasa aja kali, yang lain juga biasa aja."

"Aku woles aja tuh, kamu nya aja yang baperan."

"Lagian itu kan boleh, gak dilarang dalam islam, ini juga cuma bercanda."

❄️❄️❄️

Pernah mendengar yang seperti itu? Mungkin sering.

Mudah memang untuk menghindari rasa bersalah dengan berkata seperti itu. Saat oranglain menahan rasa sakit hati dengan ucapan demi ucapan yang tak kunjung diperbaiki. Lalu ketika tak tahan lagi, tak bisa menerima dan memilih jujur bahwa hati terluka, justru ditambah lagi sakit hatinya dengan ucapan-ucapan di atas yang membuat luka kian menganga.

Sudah jatuh, tertimpa tangga. Sudah tersayat, dibubuhi garam pula. Sudah menahan rasa sakit karena suatu perkataan, bercandaan ataupun perbuatan, eh ditambah lagi rasa sakitnya karena disalahkan.

Andai saja bisa menjadi robot yang tak punya perasaan, mungkin lebih baik jadi robot saja. Tak perlu merasa takut, tak perlu merasa sakit hati, tak perlu merasa senang, tak perlu merasa sedih, tak perlu merasakan marah, tak perlu merasakan apa-apa.

Tapi berandai-andai pun bukan solusi. Pada kenyataannya kita adalah manusia yang punya hati, lantas mau bagaimana lagi? Bukankah ini adalah takdir Allah yang harusnya kita sadari dan syukuri?

❄️❄️❄️

Ibarat A bisa kuat makan mie ayam dengan sambal 10 sendok, namun B hanya bisa tahan 1 sendok. Lalu keduanya sama-sama diberikan sambal 5 sendok. Setelah sama-sama makan, B bersegera mencari minum karena tak tahan ketika A masih santai menikmati makanannya. Lantas A berkata pada B, "Halah gitu aja kepedesan, biasa aja kali. Itu belum seberapa. Aku aja biasa aja nih."

Atau ibarat C adalah orang yang pernah mengalami kecelakaan hebat sehingga bagian tulang kakinya sempat patah. Sedangkan D adalah orang yang belum pernah kecelakaan. Lalu D ingin bercanda dengan menendang kaki C yang pernah patah itu dan "Awww!! Sakiiit!" C menjerit kesakitan. Lantas D berkata, "Dih lebay banget sih, pelan-pelan juga nendangnya. Lagian aku cuma mau nge-prank aja, bukan beneran mau nendang."

Atau juga ibarat E, dia masih bisa senyum-senyum dan berkata "gak apa-apa" ketika bukunya, lantai rumahnya, lemarinya dicoret-coret. Tapi ia tak bisa menerima jika tembok rumahnya yang dicoret-coret. Dia masih menoleransi yang lain, namun tembok itu pengecualian karena amat sulit baginya membersihkan nya lagi. Bayangkan jika kita coret-coret temboknya, terus bilang "gini doang marah, tinggal dihapus aja." Yakali kita mau ngehapusin, tapi biasanya ditinggal pergi gitu aja, kan?

Atau terakhir, F dapat makanan cireng, G juga. G dapat cireng gampang, karena tinggal ngeluarin uang 2000an. Setelah G cirengnya habis, dia masih lapar dan mengambil cireng F sambil cengengesan, "Buat aku aja ya." Lalu F marah dan G bilang "Yaampun cuma cireng, gitu aja marah. Tinggal beli aja lagi napa." Padahal dia gak tahu, F bisa dapat cireng itu perjuangannya luar biasa. Dia harus menempuh perjalanan jauh tanpa kendaraan, harus berjalan kaki, kepanasan, kehujanan dan uang yang dia pakai itu uang terakhir sehingga gak mungkin beli lagi.

See?

Kita gak pernah tahu, barangkali oranglain gak punya daya tahan dan daya banting yang sama dengan yang kita rasa.

Kita juga gak pernah tahu, barangkali oranglain pernah punya luka fisik ataupun trauma psikis di masa lalu yang gak pernah kita duga.

Kita gak pernah tahu, barangkali oranglain menoleransi banyak hal tapi punya satu hal yang dia jaga betul-betul, dan kita yang salah kenapa menyentuh hal yang justru paling tidak disukainya.

Kita juga gak pernah tahu, apa saja yang sudah dilalui, diperjuangkan dan dikorbankan oranglain demi sampai di posisi mereka sekarang ini. Sehingga mereka ingin benar-benar merasakan hasil jerih payahnya yang bagi kita mungkin mudah untuk didapatkan sehingga kita anggap sepele.

❄️❄️❄️

Dan tahukah? Indahnya Islam adalah dalam perang pun ada aturannya, tidak boleh bar-bar seenaknya. Meskipun perang, tidak boleh membunuh wanita, anak-anak, hewan, merusak tanaman dan fasilitas umum.

Begitupun dalam interaksi antar sesama manusia pun ada aturannya. Bercanda pun ada aturannya: Tidak boleh berdusta, tidak boleh menghina, tidak boleh menyakiti perasaan orang lain.

"Kan dalam Islam juga gak dilarang, lagian cuma bercanda." Gak dilarang apa berarti harus dilakukan? Gak dilarang apa berarti bisa bebas dijadikan bahan guyonan? Bercanda apa berarti boleh menyakiti perasaan orang lain? Emangnya gak ada bercandaan yang lain? Apa gak ada ucapan lain yang lebih berguna?

❄️❄️❄️

Ust. bendri pernah berkata dalam ceramahnya, suatu ketika seorang sahabat Nabi berkata "Andai kulihat istriku berduaan dengan lelaki lain, maka akan kutusuk lelaki itu dengan bagian pisau yang tidak tumpul." lalu Rasulullah Saw berkata "Apakah kalian takjud dengan kecemburuan nya? Sesungguhnya aku lebih cemburu darinya, dan Allah lebih cemburu dariku."

Maa syaa Allah, Rasul gak bilang "Hey kamu, dosa tau! gitu aja main pisau, lebay." Tapi Rasul memaklumi perasaan sang suami. Dan justru menjelaskan bahwa cemburu adalah bagian dari cinta dan itu perasaan yang biaa dipahami.

Saya pun baru mengerti, mengapa ketika Siti Aisyah R.A menjatuhkan piring di depan para tamu, yang diucapkan Rasul adalah "Ibumu sedang cemburu." artinya Rasul memahami dan meminta para tamu memaklumi perasaan istrinya. Bukan justru marah pada Siti Aisyah dengan berkata bahwa itu tidak sopan, memalukan, berlebihan, dsb.

Dalam hal lain, ketika memanggil nama, Islam menganjurkan untuk memanggil oranglain dengan nama yang baik dan jangan memanggil dengan panggilan yang tidam disukainya. Maka bukankah Islam begitu menjaga dan memanusiakan manusia?

Terakhir, ketika ada tiga orang, janganlah dua orang saling berbisik tanpa ikut mengajak orang ketiga berbicara sebab itu bisa membuat sedih orang ketiga tersebut. Maa syaa Allah, sebegitu detail, sebegitu lembut, sebegitu apik nya, kan ya?

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Maka, dengan tangan bergetar dan hati berdebar-debar, saya menuliskan catatan yang semoga sedikit berfaedah ini. Agar berusaha lebih memahami lagi posisi oranglain. Agar berusaha tidak seenaknya dalam berbuat dan berkata. Agar tidak menyepelekan urusan orang lain. Dan agar lebih bisa menjaga perasaan sendiri juga orang lain.

Alhamdulillah.. Astaghfirullah.. Wallahua'lam bish shawwab.

Cianjur, 13 April 2021

#StatusBerfaedah #GituAjaBaper #NoteToMySelf

[khansa-pake-s]

Baru baca artikel tentang salah satu brand Jepang yang bangkrut dan salah satu penyebabnya adalah karena mereka kurang gesit. Dalam dunia bisnis, kecepatan adalah kunci.

Kecepatan adalah kunci.

Kalimat itu cukup terngiang-ngiang di kepala. Bergema gitu. Kecepatan adalah kunci.....ci.....ci....ci..

Hahaha. Kemudian bukan aku namanya kalau nggak mengaitkan ke hal lain.

Hmm. Masih suka mikir, bagaimana kalau yang cepat itu tidak tepat? Yang penting lulus cepat, langsung nyari kerja, harus cepat, buka twitter buat liat thread baru, harus cepat, internet tiba-tiba hilang sinyal, rasanya kayak gemes banget, nggak bisa diterima, harus cepat, bikin kònten harus cepat sebelum diambil sama orang lain. Pokoknya yang mau didapatkan harus didapatkan secepatnya.

Aku pun juga pernah bertindak cepat gitu, sayangnya cepatku itu gak tepat. Cepatku itu gegabah. Dan dari situ aku sadar, aku sama sekali gak menikmati berada dalam kompetisi siapa yang paling cepat. Karena bagaimana kalau tujuanku dengan orang lain yang kuanggap saingan berbeda? Lantas cepat itu maksudnya buat apa? Agar gak keduluan orang lain?

Paham sih kalau dari segi bisnis mungkin emang harus selalu tahu apa kebutuhan pasar sekarang, ya? Tapi kok rasa-rasanya individu yang kukenal juga melakukan hal dengan cepat, padahal pebisnis pun mereka bukan.

Gak tau sih, ini yang kurasain, dunia yang terlalu menampilkan semuanya yang terjadi, bikin orang lupa esensi mereka ada di dunia ini, atau hidup sampai saat ini, buat apa.

Melihat yang satu udah jadi selebgram, yang satu ilustrator, yang satu udah menerbitkan buku, yang satu udah nikah, yang satu udah lulus, dan lainnya...kadang melihat terlalu banyak hal itu jadi menambah kecepatan, tapi yang bahan bakarnya sekadar perasaan "wah dia udah ini, gue juga harus cepet nih". Bukan lagi fokus pada apa yang memang bener tujuan aku.

"Kecepatan" yang terlihat di orang-orang itu berhasil bikin terombang-ambing. Dan artikel tadi berhasil bikin aku sadar kalau aku terombang-ambing.

Aku bukan pebisnis, gak tau sih tahun depan. Tapi sekarang aku bukan pebisnis, aku gak punya "target" yang bisa direalisasikan dengan kunci utamanya kecepatan, aku gak punya "kompetitor". Jadi kenapa aku harus merasa takut karena gak berjalan dengan kecepatan yang sama kayak mereka?

Aku gak mau cepet-cepet dapetin hal, tapi hanya kepuasan yang kudapatkan. Bukan mutu. Sekadar pleasure, not fulfillment. Aku harus pahami lagi bahwa dalam belajar, bukan siapa yang paling cepat bisa sampai di garis finish, tapi siapa yang mengerti arti dari garis finish itu sendiri.

Dunia ini emang bergerak terlalu cepat,

semoga kita gak kehilangan arah dan melangkah dengan tepat.