#late night clarity if u will

[slfcare]

one day you’ll yearn for the person you are now, to tell them, "hey, look, it turned out to be okay" and "i’m so grateful you’ve held on" and "things just worked out somehow". you’ll want to hold their hand and give them the wisdom that the future is actually better, and you know it because you’re living it. but you can’t reach through time like that. the only way to bridge the gap between the you of today and the you who’s doing better, is to hold onto the hope that they exist. 

[muniimyg]

10.5: love 》 series m.list

note: we made it !!! i am so incredibly grateful for everyone's love and support with c2u <3 meeting u all was so fun ,, answering ur asks and interacting thru comments truly made my day ! i'm glad i was able to share this silly goofy concept and have it well received . as usual ,, please lmk ur thots !!! i have 3 extras that will be posted soon (ie: their first hook up, a comfort scenario, and one final smut extra) so please look forward to those !!! thank u for ur patience ,, all the love 💗

warnings: sex tape vibes (kind of), pussy eating (nom nom), fucking LOL ... dirty talk & creampie! easy shit yk? lmaoo

taglist request: CLOSED

🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @defzcl @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @boraength @era-genius @4ksj @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns @jeonqkooks-main @ellesalazar

//

As much as Jungkook loves to play soccer for the glory, he loves it best alone. 

When the bleachers are empty and the field is wide and free—that’s when he feels the most love for his sport. To others, it comes off as lonely and sad but to him; it’s serenity. Sometimes, it’s the only place he feels like he can truly be himself. It’s a place where he doesn’t have to be anything to anyone. It’s a place where he can be lost and found at the same time. It’s also his go-to place when he can’t sleep. Jungkook hasn’t slept well in weeks. He figured it was time to be in his own space.

His haven. 

His favourite part has got to be when he plays so hard that he doesn’t even notice the world is waking up. The moment Jungkook looks up and sees the sunrise—he always gets this feeling in the pit of his stomach. It’s an easiness that can’t be explained.

It’s an incredible relief. 

When he sees the sun, he stops playing. He takes a break and sits down to watch the sun bloom on the horizon. There’s so much bliss in the stillness of the world. He feels so much clarity when it’s just him, the net, and the ball. It’s like nothing else matters and his mind can focus on one thing: winning.

Jungkook has only done these late-night sessions a handful of times in his life. 

The first time was the day before Uni tryouts and he doubted his talent. Everyone kept telling him he had nothing to worry about, but that didn’t make him feel any better. To Jungkook, his luck was just like everybody’s. He was afraid of it not coming through when he needed it the most. Therefore, he worked his ass off regardless of his luck history. 

Note: Jungkook was the first in his year to get in. 

The second time was when he fucked up at a game and cost his team a minor setback. It wasn’t the end of the world—he just felt like shit.

The third time was the day he redeemed himself and scored the winning goal that got the team to championships. It was the best game he had in a while. It was also the first time felt tired of it. Tired of the game, tired of the play… Just tired. 

The fourth time was when he decided to take a break from soccer and tend to his burnout… Eventually, he came back after a few months. Of course, he did. He loves soccer more than anything in the world…

That was until you.

He didn’t go back to the field and have a session to himself to celebrate. No, he celebrated with you instead. You didn’t know and he never told you… But that’s what he did. The first day he came back to soccer, he went to you right after. With you, he found rest. 

That’s when he realized something… 

He wasn’t tired anymore.

At least, whenever he was with you.

He wasn’t tired. That’s all he could really ask for, right? To fall in love with someone that was his safety net. 

The fifth time would be today. 

Jungkook has been out here since 3AM, kicking the ball and practicing drills. It upset him, to be honest. He thought being here would help ease his heart. Everything feels so clogged up and messy to him. It’s like no matter what he does to try to clean up his mess, everything stains. So, he thinks to himself that maybe if he ran enough laps or kicked the ball hard enough—it would stop.

The mess. 

The yearning.

The loving. 

But it doesn’t.

No, instead his heart continues to ache. As he clenches it every so often, he thinks of you. Then, for a second, his heart is still. In the stillness, he tries to think of good things around him. 

At least the rain wasn’t pouring as hard as it was an hour ago.

At least the sun is coming up and it’s a new day. 

At least you were here—

Wait. 

You’re here?

Jungkook rubs his eyes. Partly due to disbelief and partly because the rain made it hard to see you clearly. Yet, somehow… In his heart, he knows it. He knows it’s you. 

How’d you know where he was? More importantly, why are you here? 

Why was his heart racing so fast again? 

Be still. 

He isn’t sure of what to do. Should he wave? Should he call your name? Are you here on accident? 

Considering it’s almost 6AM… It can’t be an accident, right?

Just as much as Jungkook’s head begins to fill with questions, yours does too. As you walk closer and closer to him, you can’t help but only hear your heartbeat pound louder and louder. Is this normal? To feel like your heart could jump out of your chest if it meant getting to him faster? You let your mind spin. 

Why the fuck are you here? 

What are you doing again?

Did you write everything down?

You sure felt a lot braver ten minutes ago… Suddenly, seeing him has made you doubt all the courage you worked to have for this moment. At the same time, the complex feeling of pure happiness and relief blossoms. You can’t help but smile at the sight of him. There’s a stillness in the world and it’s only when you look at him and it’s good. You know that now… But oh my god. 

You’re about to lose your shit. 

How did you get here?

When did it all begin? 

Was it from the first night you two slept together? Or was it the karaoke night when you realized you were waiting for him to kiss you? Could it be time he fucked you in front of your mirror and you vowed to never drink coffee before meeting up with him ever again? 

… No. 

Maybe it was when Mina came along. 

You gave him a blowjob just to stall him from going (bad move, by the way. That was pretty bitchy). Oh, and we can’t forget about the time you craved him when you were drunk out of your mind and all he did was take care of you. Half asleep, you woke up to him mounting your mirror on the wall… And well, maybe…

Maybe it was then. 

When he fixed your mirror, he fixed your heart. 

That’s probably why the time you two hooked up in his bedroom at the party felt so right. It was finally clicking.

You were into him then.

You just didn’t know how to admit it. Then, it got fucked up because you were caught off guard. 

The perilla leaf.

The exile. 

The hate sex. 

Everything good and bad has led to this moment and you can’t help but feel like you’re falling apart. Finding the origin of it all feels exhausting… In your head, you debate it all. In your heart, you’ve always known. 

You see, it wasn’t supposed to be like this. 

The friendship, the sleeping with him, the hurting him—the loving him… It wasn’t supposed to do this to you. You aren’t supposed to be this nervous and so impatient at the same time. You aren’t supposed to feel this stupid either… 

But you do. 

… And that’s okay. 

Sometimes, with love, you’re going to feel a little stupid. You just have to cross your fingers and hope the person you’re being stupid for is just as stupid as you. 

In your case… There’s a good chance he is. 

As you stand on the sidelines, Jungkook places his hand over his eyes to see you clearer. He tilts his head in confusion as you drop your bag. 

Then, just like that…

It happens. 

His thoughts pause, his heart goes still for the nth time, and his world slows down as he takes in the sight of you. Nothing will ever be better than this. The same way he feels an ease when he watches the sunrise—he feels it as he looks at you right now. 

God, he loves you so much. 

He has known it for so long but this… You in this moment; it’s bliss. 

Complete and utter bliss. 

If that isn’t enough… His heart is completely undone the moment he realizes two things: one, you’re wearing his jersey, and two; you’re holding a towel in your arms for him. He can’t help but let a laugh escape his lips. All that shit you said about how you would never be a part of his fan club and how you could never be that girl…

Oh, this is gold. 

Honestly, it’s more than enough. For you to show up and make this effort—it fills his heart. Yet, you’re you. Always full of surprises and ways of making his heart go on overdrive. As he sinks in his thoughts and soaks this moment in; he watches you take a deep breath. Then, slowly but surely, you extend your hand out to him. 

It’s then when he knows it. 

The wait was worth it.

The wait is over.

You and Jungkook sit on a bench, under the technical area’s cover. For a while, you two watch the sunrise in silence. Both too afraid to say anything to ruin the moment—both so undoubtedly in love. Once the sun is fully up, you brace yourself. 

This is it. 

Jungkook turns to you, chasing your eyes. 

“You nervous or something?” he jokes, as he begins to dry his hair with the towel you placed around his neck. 

“Yeah,” you confide. “Am I doing this right?”

Jungkook’s eyes widen as you scoot closer to him and take the towel. In your continued silence, you take over and start to dry his hair. Scrunching the towel, you pat dry his neck and cheeks. He gulps, unsure of what to do… He likes it though. He likes that you’re taking care of him and that you’re trying. He knows you are. 

As you pat dry him, you try to find your words. It takes a moment, but you think to yourself… It’s now or never, right? You’re already here. You’ve already folded. 

It catches Jungkook off guard when you suddenly tug him close. Putting the towel aside, you cup his cheeks with your hands. Your hands are cold, but he doesn’t mind. If anything, he’s holding himself back from kissing them. With a pout on your lips, you begin your confession. 

“I hate being your friend.” 

Jungkook squints at you and chuckles. He removes your hands from his cheeks, smirking at you. “What bullshit are you on now? Didn’t we agree on—”

“I never agreed,” your eyebrows knit together. “It’s been like… A day and a half and I’m going crazy being your stupid friend.”

“Fine,” he snaps. “Enemies?”

His suggestion annoys you.

You lift your hand to hit him, but he catches your wrist. Then, he opens his hands for you. You sigh teasingly but take it. Intertwining your fingers together, you two sit in silence again for a moment. 

Holding hands, watching as the rain pours, and preparing to give your hearts to one another… It feels like this could be a dream.

“Tae and Yuna, ” you begin, breaking the silence. Your voice sounds weary and desperate. “They’ve been friends since the very beginning. He always had feelings for her and she did too… But she didn’t do anything about it until it was too late. He’s dating Mina’s friend now or something—it’s so messed up. It’s so unfair, y-you know? They deserve each other so much and I—”

“Breathe,” Jungkook comforts you. “They’ll figure it out.”

“I don’t want that to be us,” you blurt. 

Jungkook blinks at you. 

“It’s so scary. Jungkook, I don’t want that to be us… B-but it is us, isn’t it? Y-you hate me because of—“

His eyebrows knit together. “___, I don’t hate you. Don’t say that.”

Your lips quiver, unsure of how to navigate through this talk. Maybe you should have planned it better. Maybe you should have written this whole speech out instead of word-vomiting like this… But that’s the thing. 

You aren’t good at this.

Regardless, you’ll try for him.

“I’ve been selfish,” you admit, letting your eyes dart to the field. You can’t look at him. It feels too overwhelming to.  “I’ve been inconsiderate and I know I can’t justify my actions because they hurt you—I just need you to know that I was scared. It was so scary trusting you, falling asleep beside you, and waking up next to you. It was so scary watching you laugh with other girls and not knowing how to tell you how I felt… I’m sorry I started fights while trying to figure out how I felt about myself… Honestly? I think I was so scared because you made it so easy.”

A beat.

“T-the truth is… I’ve always known how I felt about you.” 

Jungkook can’t help but smile. He wonders if you know what you’re doing to him… Do you? He’s afraid you don’t.

“Really?” he pries, moving closer to you. “How do you feel about me?”

Attempting to be intimidating, you turn to face him with a glare. 

“D-don’t push it.”

Jungkook pouts. “But I want to know… Please, please, please?”

For a moment you contemplate. Then, you look at him and take it all in. His wet hair, soft eyes, and pouting lips… How were you ever strong enough to say no to him before? Truly, you’re a changed woman.

Curling your fist, you shut your eyes and say it. You tell him the whole truth. 

You give him your heart. 

“You said you got ahead of yourself… But have you ever considered that I was beside you the entire time? L-like you said you’ve had feelings for me since the first time you made me laugh… Me too. I knew it then too. I just didn’t know what to do because every time I dated guys, it all felt the same… With you, it was different from the start. I don’t know how to explain it… All I know is that I like you in every way it’s possible to like someone—I like you. My heart has been yours all along. I’m sorry it took me so long to give it to you. It just felt like everything with you kept falling into place and I was terrified I was f-falling too… I think—n-no, I… Umm, I know that I…”

Something others may not know about Jungkook is that he’s consistently bad at one thing. That one thing is playing it cool when it comes to you. He has to fight his inner demons to stop himself from professing his love for you every 10 minutes. So, it would be a lie that he wasn’t loving this. He loves watching you feel what he feels. 

Your words, sweet and well-awaited, completely captivate him. 

He can’t help it when you’re like this. So perfect, so cute, so his. He can’t resist!

Which is why he kisses you mid-confession. 

Jungkook kisses you slowly and deeply. Like never before, you lose your breath from how passionately he kisses you. Once you two pull away, he rests his forehead against yours. Smiling, he sneaks in a couple more kisses. 

Timidly, you say, “So… You aren’t mad at me anymore?”

With a laugh, Jungkook shakes his head. “God, you drive me crazy.”

“So… That’s a no, right?” 

Jungkook rolls his eyes and purses his lips. You press your lips against them and kiss him once more. 

“___?”

“Y-yeah?”

“... I checked my phone a moment ago and Yuna ratted you out. She texted me like ten minutes before you came. Said if you don't show up I should knock on your door and fuck your feelings out of you.” You gasp, burying your face with your hands. Sighly dramatically, Jungkook makes a cheeky comment. “Once again, I waited for you.” 

You hit his chest playfully. In pure disbelief, you groan at him. “What? Y-you knew and still made me do the whole speech—”

"I didn’t know!” You ignore his claim. “Although, I wouldn't have had any issue fucking the feelings out of you—"

"Are you insane?" you fume. "I was literally sick to my stomach trying to get this confession thing done right!"

“I was excited!” He teases, and nudges you. You remain annoyed at him. Jungkook can’t help but find it cute. “Awh, ___! Come on. It’s not every day that a guy gets to see his girl in his jersey, holding a towel for him on the sidelines! Also… I just really wanted to see what all your fuss was about. I promise, I didn’t know.”

It’s too late. 

Just as you stand up and storm away from the embrassment, Jungkook catches up to you. Out on the field, the rain continues to pour on you two. Drying him off was useless if you were going to be this dramatic. 

As he catches your wrist, you shove him away and cross your arms. 

“I feel stupid,” you sigh. “Y-you knew how I felt about you. I was worried and anxious the entire time and y-you knew!” 

Jungkook shuts his eyes and can’t believe how feisty you are. It’s entertaining and frustrating at the same time. God, you were so complex… But at the same time, he knows you’re just afraid. This is you finding an out. This is also you trying to stay. 

He takes your hand. 

You don’t shake him off say anything. 

You let him take it. 

He holds it like it’s all he has ever wanted to do (it is all he has ever wanted to do).

“I didn’t know everything! Hey, the fuss was cute,” he ensures you. “Do it again.”

“No!” you cry, feeling your clothes start to stick to your skin. It’s pouring now and you instantly regret being dramatic.

Except, Jungkook looks so perfect. His hair is wet and his shirt is soaked so you can see the way his muscles curve. He’s so handsome that you have to gather all your strength as a woman to keep yourself from jumping on him.

“This shit is so hard!” you complain through the rain. “How did you do this? You confessed like every time we fucked—”

“Yah!” Jungkook warns, feeling a little embarrassed. Maybe he should be the one to storm away now…  “Be nice to me or else I’m about to reject you.”

You roll your eyes at him. Grabbing him by the collar, you tug him to your eye level. Happily, he complies. 

“Do it then,” you call his bluff. “Reject me right now.”

Jungkook looks into your eyes, loving the way you look at him. He blinks at you slowly and bites his inner cheek. For a moment, he’s silent. You’d think he’s contemplating or something… But he’s not. He’s been sure about you since your first laugh, remember?

“Kinda cruel considering you’re all I’ve been waiting for,” Jungkook confesses, as he dips his head low and kisses you. 

As he kisses you, you squeeze his hand. Holding his hand tighter, he smiles into the kiss. The rain continues to pour, making everything feel unreal. As he pulls away, he looks at you the way he always has… This time, you get what Yuna was talking about.

The warmth in his gaze.

The love in it.

The you in it.

After what felt like endless heartache with other boys—this felt healing. 

This was yours. 

Him. 

And that’s when your heart tells you something you never knew… 

You waited well too. 

You two escape the rain and make it to your place.

In your bedroom, you quickly get undressed and sit in front of your mirror to dry your hair. Jungkook comes out of the washroom all clean. Passing by you, he plants a kiss on the top of your head. You watch from the mirror as he reaches inside your closet for one of his shirts. 

Your high from the moment at the field suddenly dies. Suddenly, you realize the confession wasn’t enough to move forward. For fucks sake, he has his clothes in your closet.

“Jungkook?” you ask cutely.

“Mhmm?” he responds as he dresses himself.

You almost choke on your words. “What are we?” 

He grins, coming back to you and swaying you side to side. Without batting an eye, he answers: “friends, of course!”

Instantly, you push him away. Your shoulders slump as you glare at him. He laughs his ass off, loving the way you reacted. When he calms down, he kneels in front of you and apologizes. 

“Okay, bestie,” you play along as he gets up. “Should we eat perilla leaves to celebrate?” 

Jungkook’s mouth drops. His eye practically twitches at the mention of perilla leaves.

Throwing his hands up dramatically, he cries, “Oh god... My girlfriend is so mean to me… She’s so hot, holy shit.”

Girlfriend.

That sounds about right.

He’s so big. 

Sometimes, you forget that.

It slips your mind because Jungkook has always been a giver. You never really had to worry about it being uncomfortable. He makes sure you cum first and always puts his needs above yours—tonight was a prime example of just that. 

As he towers over you, he leaves a trail of kisses from your neck to your lips. Each kiss is so soft and intimate, your pussy clenches at his very touch. It doesn’t help when he places his thumb on your clit, rubbing and stretching it out to stimulate you even more. As you moan into his ear, he feels shivers go down his back. 

You gasp as he bites your skin, enticing you to want him even more. 

“Jungkook,” you breathe, “put it in, please.”

“Mhmm,” he moves the hair strands on your face and kisses you. “Be good for me, okay? Be patient. Gonna fuck you good so I need you to be on your best behaviour.”

“B-best behaviour,” you repeat rather lewdly. “Okay… W-whatever you want, love. You have it. You have me.”

Love.

God, you and your fucking words.

Jungkook bites his bottom lip, trying his best to take his time. Truth be told, he wants to fuck you silly right now. He wants you so bad that your legs won’t work and he’ll have to tend to your soreness. He wants to fuck you so good that you scream his name and lose yourself in him… But he’ll take his time tonight. 

He wants to show you so much. He wants to show you how good he can make you feel. How you won’t ever regret your decision of being with him. He wants to show you what kind of man you chose and what kind of man you get to have.

A good man.

A man that has wanted you for so long that now that he has you—oh was he ready to drag it out.

Jungkook gently places his dick in between your folds. It’s hard and thick. You can feel it against your wet pussy and want nothing more than for him to put it in. Instead, Jungkook lifts himself and sits in between your legs. There, he holds the base of his cock and slaps it against your pussy. He rubs his cock up and down your folds. Then, he splits them open with his fingers and spits on it. He then spreads his spit with his cock. You feel so lucky when he pokes it inside once in a while. Like a tease, he takes it out so quickly that you begin to feel frustrated. 

“P-put it in, please…”

Jungkook smirks. 

“Put what in?”

You glare at him.

“Your hard, thick, stupid cock. Put it in my wet, needy, desperate pussy right now… Please?”

Jungkook lets out a sexy chuckle. “Not yet,” he tells you, as he fully stops. He then moves over and helps you sit up. Leaning against your headboard, he spreads your legs. Just when you think you can predict his next move, he reaches over to your nightstand and grabs his phone. Unlocking it, he passes it to you.

“Film me.”

You nod, following his orders.

Tapping record, you angle the camera to your pussy. You watch through the phone screen as Jungkook positions his face in between your legs. Gulping, you throw your head back as he makes his first lick. 

Jungkook holds onto your thighs, helping you keep your legs open. He digs himself into your pussy, devouring every inch of it. To deepen himself, he digs his nose in and curls his tongue as he licks you. When he pulls away for air, he sucks on your clit making sure to keep you on your toes. 

“Oohhh,” you sob. “S-so good. J-Jungkook—“

“Mhmm,” he murmurs onto your skin. “Tastes so good.”

“A-aghhh! Oh my god!”

The thing is… Jungkook has eaten you out before.

But this was different.

It was slow and sensual. The way he licks you and eats you out just feels so surreal. Your toes curl, your stomach winces, and your pussy tightens as you’re about to climax—

Jungkook pulls away. 

He has a devilish look on his face. You stop the recording and toss his phone aside. Suddenly, he takes hold of your ankles and tugs you down. On your back, you open your arms and welcome him in again. Gladly, he buries himself in your breasts and moans at your softness. 

“That was—“

“Everything my girl deserves,” he tells you sweetly. “My girl…”

“Your girl,” you pull him in for a kiss. “All yours..”

Jungkook moans, unable to stop himself. He lifts his hips, making space for him to quickly pump his cock before guiding it inside you.

… And oh my god.

He feels so good.

Him inside you is so fulfilling and healing. 

“You okay?”

You nod, mesmorized by the man he is.

“More than.”

With that, Jungkook kisses you and begins to fuck you. He thrusts in and out, making you feel his entire length with each stroke. Your body takes him in as if it’s welcoming him home. As he feeds you your craving, he picks up the pace. You wrap your legs around him, moaning from how good it feels as he buries himself in you. 

“F-fuck,” Jungkook hisses. “Love this. Feels so good.”

“Mhmm,” you whimper. “J-just like that!”

Jungkook continues to fuck you, drilling himself deeper and deeper. Soon, you’re chanting his name and his ego begins to boom.

Jungkook fucks you like he loves you… And you know it. You can feel it. To express so, you claw his back. Digging your nails deeper and deeper, holding him close.

“N-nghhh! I’m gonna cum—”

“Cum for me, pretty girl. You behaved so well,” he praises. “Proud of you.”

Your heart flutters. 

Then, your pussy clenches as you release. He feels it. Jungkook groans, accepting that this round will be over soon. There will be plenty more, for sure. As he pumps inside you lazily, cautious of being sensitive to your climax but also because he’s hitting his. 

Then, he creams your pussy. It oozes out, but he pumps himself a few more times to stuff you.

As he spills himself onto you, he lets out heavy breaths and collapses on top of you. You let him catch his breath there as you tangle your fingers in his hair. 

“I love you,” you confess. 

“Good… I was hoping you would.” Jungkook lets out a tired laugh. “I love you too, ___. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. You’re everything I’ve ever loved.”

You hold him tighter.

“I love you more.”

Jungkook bursts into laughter. “Love, we are not going to play that game.”

Tilting your head at him. “Why not? It’s true.”

“You think you love me more than I love you?”

“Mhmm.”

“Prove it.”

With that, Jungkook laughs as you shift position. Leaving him on his back, you climb on top and straddle him. As you lift yourself to guide his dick inside, he lets out a whiney moan. You are so sexy. You are quite literally his favourite part of living.

“I’ll prove it,” you accept the challenge. “Will you last though?”

Jungkook’s lips slight part, amazed and shocked at your initiative. In response, he relaxes and gestures at your body. There’s a tightness that overcomes his entire body. It’s mixed with excitement and relief. For the nth time, he gives in.

Jungkook folds.

Happily, he gives himself to you.

“With you? Forever.”

Forever.

After 3 rounds, you two call it a night. As you drift to sleep, Jungkook holds you. Before this, you two talked as much as you could and even began to make plans. There is an indescribable comfort in being with each other.

Upcoming dates.

Better ways to communicate.

Everything and anything in between—you two want it all.

As the rain pours, Jungkook finally shuts his eyes. He pulls you closer, kissing you for the final time tonight. There would be tomorrow to kiss you anyway.

Tomorrow and the day after that… And the day after that. And the days that follow—he’d do just that.

He can’t wait to kiss you forever.

To hold your hand forever.

To love you forever.

For the first time in a while, Jungkook finds rest. His heart stays still and feels loved. Besides, this is what he has wanted to be all along—

Close to you.

[cdbabymp3]

your writing is so incredible u are feeding the hamzah girls DAILY 😛 currently thinking about if u were friends/mutual friends with him but you always had this sexual tension and then one night u both finally broke…

𐙚needs ― hamzahthefantastic

notes/warnings: nsfw !! THE LONG AWAITED ROOMATE FIC IS HERE !! sexual tension leading to unprotected sex, pretend ur on the pill idk idk! self indulgent height difference between hamzah and reader 🥸 post ovulation clarity is hitting ... pls don't judge me for this i was quite literally in a primal state

listen to the song while reading, thank me later

yours and hamzah's apartment is quiet. so quiet you can hear the cars pass by, the sound slipping in from the cracked open window. it's been almost 3 days without air conditioning, which isn't ideal for the middle of summer in toronto. because of this, you and hamzah have had no choice but to wear a limited amount of clothing around each other. for you, it's been a thin tank top (so thin you can see the lace detail of your bra through it) and jean shorts (the ones you wore to summer camp freshman year, the material always shorter than you remember). for hamzah, it's been his gym shorts (the extra short ones he wears for lifting that give you a full view of his thick thighs), and a random short-sleeved shirt that hugged his biceps tightly. however, with the increasing heat inside your home, lately he's given up on wearing a shirt. it was a sight nothing could've prepared you for. you kept replaying the moment from earlier over and over in your head, his back muscles flexing as he emptied bags of groceries and stocked the fridge. engulfed by the cold air, hamzah decided to stand in front of the fridge, fully on display as he tried to lower his body temperature. the way he closed his eyes and rolled his neck in relief affected you physically.

this morning, you had to ignore the feeling because you had other things to get done. but now, lying atop your duvet and staring at the ceiling, the feelings finds its way back. you don't want to ignore it anymore. the hot july air, the sound of hamzah typing on the other side of the wall that separates you, the image of his bare torso...it's all too much. you huff, equal parts sexual frustration and annoyance from how hot your apartment was getting. even as the sun goes down, the warm air makes your baby hairs stick to your forehead, something hamzah told you he found cute. he had a way of complimenting you so innocently, yet you always took it as more. in some way, you felt like he wanted you to take it as more. with this notion, you muster up the courage and get out of bed, deciding to go bother hamzah. you exit your room and walk two short steps, approaching his door, which is wide open. the sight before you, even better than this morning, almost causes a guttural noise to leave your mouth. hamzah sat at his desk, shirtless, gym shorts riding up dangerously high, and his glasses sat on the bridge of his nose. he's so focused on typing on his computer that he doesn't register your presence whatsoever. you knock on the wall gently, making him turn in his chair with a little squeak and push his glasses up.

"hey," you nod, quickly trying to craft what you want to say next

"oh, hey." he matches your nod, closing his browser and giving you his full attention.

you rub the sweat off your forehead with the back of your hand and sigh, "i can't do this, i'm dying."

he laughs at your dramatics, picking up his phone from his desk and scrolling through the weather app, "i know, it's getting worse too. it's not supposed to cool down till midnight."

"great." you quip, "what did the landlord say about the A/C?"

"uhhh" hamzah switches on his phone over to messages, "he said the repair guy can't come till monday morning."

you let out a groan, holding your hair up in a makeshift ponytail. you can't help but eye him down and it doesn't go unnoticed. hamzah clears his throat and shifts in his seat, which emits another squeak. you both laugh at the noise and he pretends to be pissed off, getting up from the chair and walking up to you. you suddenly feel overwhelming aware of both of your nearly bare figures being so close to each other. it seems like he's not going to stop walking until he's a mere few inches away. he gestures past where you stand in the doorway and you give him a confused look, but let him past you. he trails down the hall into the kitchen and you follow behind, getting another lovely view of his naked back. like earlier, he swings the fridge door open and lets the cold air hit his exposed skin. he hums in delight, beckoning you by hand to join him. once you're close enough, he sets his cold hands on the warm flesh of your shoulders and moves your figure in front of his, so you're the one directly in front of the fridge.

"good?" he asks, trying to position you in the optimal spot so the air hits your shorter frame.

goosebumps form as the chilled air travels up your arms and legs, reaching your neck and face in the process. it feels fucking amazing, but the fabrics of your top creates an undesired barrier. with his large hands still on your shoulders, the desire for him grows stronger. you bite your lip, choosing to take a risk.

"it's good, but i'm still a little warm." you say with every hope he catches on to your flirting for once.

"yeah," he speaks after a drawn out silence, "it's probably your top."

you try to hide your smirk, but it's useless. "you think?" rhetorical, but it does the trick on him.

hesitantly, his fingers find the hem of your tight tank top and toy with it, "mhm," peeling the the fabric up your stomach and chest, until it's over your head and thrown somewhere on the counter. "see?" his low voice and the newfound stimulation from the coldness hitting your bare torso sends chills down your spine.

you nod adamantly, feeling your heartbeat pick up, the pulse thrumming almost out of your chest. you want this so bad and you're starting to think he does too.

"hamzah" you whisper, turning so you're face to face.

he looks down at you, looking like he's going to say something, but struggles to find the words. you open your mouth to help, but are cutoff by him grabbing your face and kissing you. your eyes widen in pure shock, then shut, feeling his needy hands squeeze at your hips. you attempt to get a handful of his hair to grab, but your height difference makes it hard. even on your tip toes, it's not enough. hamzah takes note of your efforts and crouches down, hands taking hold of the back of your thighs and picking you up. you squeal into the kiss, immediately, arms hooking around his neck and legs wrapping around his lower waist. the fridge still wide open, hamzah turns both of you around. he sets you down on the counter, lips going to your neck and sucking the sensitive skin until you yelp. you rake a hand through his curls, pushing his head lower down your chest. his full lips leave open-mouthed kisses down the tops of your breasts, down your stomach, until he gets to the waist of your jean shorts. he looks up at you, waiting for your approval, to which you give him in the form of an embarrassing whine. he fiddles with the button and zipper of your shorts, sliding them down your legs. once, they're to your ankles, hamzah throws them and they knock over a glass of water on the kitchen table. usually, he'd run over and clean up the spill, but his hunger for you clouded any concern about water on the floor. you can't help but feel relieved by his neediness, no longer ashamed about the things you used to imagine doing with him because you were doing them now. he takes the hem of your underwear and pulls it down, this time you kick the article of clothing off at your ankles. the mixture of the fridge's coolness and hamzah's warm tongue licking a stipe against your heat made your jaw go slack. it wasn't enough for him, though, so he drags your thighs closer to himself, causing you to lay down against the counter. he sucks on your clit, alternating between licking and kissing in the process. you whimper, legs wrapping around his head, heels digging into his bare back to bring him even closer. he pauses for a moment and you swear you could cry from the sudden lack of stimulation. you look up to see him take off his glasses, setting them aside on the counter and going back to work. you can feel the knot in your stomach building, your impending orgasm approaching closer than you expected.

"h-hamzah- ah, wait, wait" you pant, sitting up by your elbows.

he stops, looking up in fear, your arousal coating his chin. the sight alone could make you cum, if you were being fully honest.

"want me to stop?" he wipes his chin, caressing your thigh with his free hand sweetly.

"yeah-no. but i don't wanna cum yet..." you admit, oddly getting shy.

"do you wanna go to my room?" he asks

"please." is all you can spit out as he grabs your hips and gets you off the counter. he kicks the fridge door shut, taking your hand and leading you to his room. once inside, he waits for your next move.

"should i-"

playfully, you push him onto his bed, straddling his waist. you can feel how turned on he is underneath you, telling you everything you need to know. this whole time you thought this infatuation was one-sided....you were dead wrong.

his room his hot, the residual coolness from the fridge leaving both your bodies by the second. this and your unfinished orgasm give you the extra push you need to initiate things quicker, which gets absolutely no complaints from hamzah.

you take off your bra, getting off hamzah for a second so he can take off his shorts and boxers. straddling him once more, you slide down onto his erection. there's little resistance due to your arousal, eliciting a throaty moan from you and hamzah. once you're fully sunken down on him, you grab onto his shoulder and he holds your ass. starting slow, you lift your hips up and down to get into a rhythm. while the motion is nice, it doesn't get you to where you want to go. ideally, you want your first hookup with hamzah to be long and thorough, but you weren't sure how much longer you can handle being without release. you start to rock your hips back and forth, grinding so hard that his pelvic bone hits your clit with each movement you make.

hamzah starts to move your ass as your grind, only making the stimulation more intense. you quicken your pace, if it's even possible, moving back and forth so fast that the headboard of the bed repeatedly hits the wall. the squelching of your arousal with each move you make leaves hamzah in complete awe, feeling his own release chase close behind.

"oh god" you moan, gripping his arms tighter, fingernails digging into his skin and making crescent shapes.

"you got it, baby.... i'm almost there too." he breathes out heavily, helping you keep your pace going as you start to feel weak.

the room feels like it's on fire, both your bodies covered in sweat, hair sticking your foreheads with flushed faces, as you reach your highs together. you scream, feeling yourself come undone on him and he kisses you through it, muffling your noises. his own high follows shortly after, whimpering into the heated kiss.

breaking contact, you're both a panting, sweaty mess. you look at him with half-lidded eyes, wiping a bead of sweat that dribbles down his cheek. you giggle as he moves away the hair that sticks to your face so he can see you all the way.

"so, how long have you been wanting to do that?" he teases, still catching his breath.

"i should ask you the same thing." you fire back

you think he's gonna spout something cocky, but he laughs, "since we signed that fucking lease and moved in here."

you laugh too, covering your face sheepishly, but he takes your wrists in his hands so you can't hide, kissing you with every last ounce of energy he has left.

running and hiding forever goodbye.

໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა taglist ; @forevergirlposts , @junebugin-july , @itgirlvirgo , @sie17136 , @1312006 , @kingvioleta , @hrt-attack , @scarvain , @ldrvinyl , @mochotea , @24kmar

lmk if i missed u or u wanna be tagged, idk why its so hard for me to keep track of tags literally a 5 yr old could do it

[house-strong]

— KAIROSCLEROSIS ʾ ⋆

summary ; requested by anon.

“Hey can u write something about daemon x strong reader. Her father and brothers are against their relationship so he takes her way on rhaenyra’s wedding night, maybe some fluff in the end of them getting back to kings landing to visit with their children.”

pairing ; daemon targaryen x house strong!reader

notes ; daemon smiling is something very important to me,, kinda lengthy since it tells leaving kings landing, being away, then coming back. lots of scenery jumps

even before being brought to the royal court by your father, lyonel strong, and accompanied by your brother, harwin strong, they had warned you of the princes ability to charm anything with two legs. harwin, being the dutiful captain under daemon’s command, had many stories to share about his commander. much of his story’s were warning you and dissuading any possible chance of kindling a relation between you and the targaryen prince.

they, however, had not tried hard enough.

the first time you appeared in court, it was no secret that there was an obvious and mutual attraction for one another between you and daemon targaryen. although his gaze was once set upon his niece, rhaenyra targaryen, it now fixated on you, the lady (y/n) of house strong.

daemon had done anything he could (within respect of course, as his station as prince and brother of king urged the latter to plead daemon to use caution); take you for walks around the red keep, lecture you about dragon history’s and answered your questions with patience, and he even brought you out and about on the streets of kings landing. you were reluctant when he offered, but he had assured you that you’d be protected under his watch.

soon, kind words and thoughtful actions of chivalrous courtship had morphed into flirty, flippant remarks uttered under your breaths and lingering touches that slowly became inappropriate for two, unmarried members of different houses. daemon didn’t necessarily care for proper courtship between two individuals, but he always treaded carefully in the public eye because he knew what your family meant to you and to his brother. though it was often annoying, he had reassured himself that everything would fall into place. besides, you were quickly becoming more than just a late night tryst.

the tryst that developed between you both had exhilarated you; to be doing something your lord father commanded against and to finally feel free against the claws of the dominating patriarchy and their rules. once a week had turned to twice a week, to thrice a week, then to almost every night in a row for what felt like forever. stealing kisses in between making rounds about the red keep, using the secret hallways to meet up and have fun on the hidden balconies. it was exciting to be desired this way and it reminded you of the story’s you read when you were younger – of sworn knights who had taken their maiden lady and eloped to the far cities in essos.

your father did very little to show that he cared for your thoughts on daemon. every time his name was brought up, lyonel did his best to pivot the conversation or shut it down entirely. at some point, you got so fed up that you stopped talking to him for a week. a week full of torment for your father, but a week full of clarity and thought for you. after your little protest, your father had did the best he could to listen to you dreamily gush about the dragon prince about his latest adventures without rolling an eye or huffing.

then came the princess rhaenyra’s wedding to ser laenor velaryon.

a laugh across the room draws daemon’s eyes from the royal high table. he spots you, your head thrown back as your brother, harwin, tells you something that daemon assumes is funny. daemon allows a faint smile to form on his lips, his hand playing with his silverware as he observes your features. he knows them like he knows the back of his hand; he knows every freckle, every mole, and every sun-kissed spot.

“the maiden of harrenhal is a beauty, isn’t she?” maiden. daemon notices that it’s his brother whose address him, so he turns his head to acknowledge him. he nods his head slowly, his eyes returning to you as your brother takes your hand and escorts you to the center of the room where everyone else had gathered to dance.

daemon moves to get up, but stops when viserys’s pale fingers enclose around his wrist, “do not do something that would disgrace our family, daemon.”

“have i ever?” daemon isn’t around to hear his question go answered, for he had already begun to descend the steps from the high table and make a slow beeline towards the shapes of you and ser harwin. you and harwin are dancing rather beautifully, like two flames conjoining to one. he knew that you and harwin shared a special bond, he was your elder brother, and ever so your fiercest protector. he wondered how harwin would feel about daemon’s plan.

“ser harwin, may i?” daemon interrupts, causing harwin’s wide-toothed smile to slowly dissipate. harwin greets him by a mere ‘my prince,’ bows his head, and allows you to be taken by his commander. your smile doesn’t leave your face when you see daemon and he feels his heart soar. with a suave smirk and a low voice, he greets, “my lady.”

“ever the charmer, are you, my prince?” you respond, curtsying and lowering your gaze for a moment. my prince. you merely calling him by his title is enough to send a thrilling shiver down his spine – the healthy power dynamic is something he loves and craves.

you begin to dance with daemon, one of his hands at the small of your back and the other holding your hand. his hands are warm and gentle, though the callouses on his hand, from years of wielding a sword you assumed, are hard to miss. you two follow the dance pattern of the crowd, weaving in and out with practiced footwork.

“come away with me,” he suddenly says. the question, or rather statement (or maybe it was a demand?), catches you off guard. your brows furrow and the smile drops from your face.

you execute the next move of the dance you’re doing flawlessly, “what do you mean, daemon?”

despite his garments that padded his shoulders, you see a faint rise and fall. his hands gently guide you into step with him, not before he moves away slightly and pulls you into a twirl. a soft grunt leaves him as you collide with his chest – a misstep that was your error.

“i mean,” he drops your hands and moves away, you both encircle each other as the dance requires. once you’re close again, practically chest to chest, “you and me, on the back of caraxes, flying away to see the wonders the world has to offer.”

a most generous proposition, but you’d be away from your family and friends. then again, daemon can be your family. there was no father to disapprove of this relationship, no court to snicker and sneer at the sight of you together, and no brother that wouldn’t hesitate to get the dragon’s claws off you. daemon sees this discontent and gently grasps your chin with his forefinger and thumb, pushing your head up to lock eyes with you. the dance is suddenly forgotten and you’re both standing in the middle of a dance circle, unmoving.

“what do you say?” he asks, his voice low with a sense of urgency. his own brows furrow as he tries to understand your facial expressions – discontent begins to gnaw on his insides as he rocks on his feet subconsciously. in a barely audible whisper, “say yes.”

without a word exchanged, you and daemon seem to understand. not a second later, the dragon prince is guiding you from the floor, using the cover of the lords and lady’s of court to leave undetected. guilt begins to crawl through your skin – what would your father say? you shake the thought from your head and fall into step with daemon. all your life you had spent being the perfect, dutiful daughter, now it was time for you to start living for you.

you both reach your apartment within the castles holdfast and quickly, together, you both scrounge up your things and hastily throw them into bags.

the rest of the night spirals into a whirlwind. you’re both sneaking towards the dragonpit where his mount, caraxes, was stabled. when you two had reached the red beast, he saddled him as quick as he could before helping you and your things onto the saddle.

with a command given in valyrian, caraxes exits the dragonpit with a hiss and flys through the sky with ease. you two left king’s landing and arrived at a city in essos where daemon had connections, and a place to call home.

and now, roughly six years later, you were married with one child and another on the way.

the child, of course, bore strong resemblance to her father. with silver wisps of hair and dark eyes, daemon was enamored with the child. every moment he spent awake was a moment more spent with his daughter. he was completely and utterly devoted. you were once his priority, but after the birth, you were demoted to second. though it may not seem as romantic, you weren’t envious or jealous of the newfound attention your babe was receiving from your husband. instead, it swelled your heart with warmth and ignited a long lasting flame within you.

your hand is resting on your stomach as you watch daemon teach your daughter high valyrian. she stumbles on certain enunciations, especially ones with similar sounds, but she catches on quick, which pleases her father. he mutters something to her in the language, both their heads turning to take a look at you before breaking off into quiet giggles.

“what are you two giggling about?” you mused, head lolling to the side as your attention is taken away from observing the distant city in the night. you see both of them, hair messily tied back and grins that light up their faces. you can’t help but smile yourself. no wonder why daemon was so consumed with the well-being of his daughter – she was exactly him and he exactly her.

your daughter opens her mouth to confess what her father and herself were talking about, though it’s quickly shut down when daemon shushes her softly and holds one of his fingers to his lips. she blushes and looks up at him bashfully, a smile still strong on her features.

“our little secret, hm?” he hums gently, the baritone in his voice sounding like velvet in your ears. he gently puts her on the floor from his lap, “off to bed now, my love.”

you watch her stand on her tippy toes to give him a kiss and she hurriedly rushes to where you sat, giving your face multiple kisses. your smile only widens. she waves to both of you before allowing one of the handmaidens to escort her to her room.

“my brother has sent for us,” daemon says slowly. he’s looking down at his hands, eyes memorizing every callous and scar that littered his palm. he finally looks up and there’s a certain twinkle to it; the only type of twinkle he got when he talked about his brother. daemon wasn’t one for sentimental exchanges with his brother, but there was always some telltale sign that showed how much he adored his older brother.

“and?” you respond, head straightening as you observe him. he inhales deeply, one of his hands tucking a stray strand of his own hair behind his ear. “we can’t defy an order from a king, daemon.”

“he didn’t send it as our king, he sent it as my brother,” he counters quickly, eyes shooting towards you. “i want him to see his niece, before he,” he pauses, as if unable to finish his sentence.

it wasn’t a secret that his brothers health had gone downhill. the constant exchange of messengers between westeros and essos concerning the wellbeing of the king was obviously taking a toll on daemon and not helping quell his anxiety.

“then what are we waiting for?”

that night, daemon had ordered the servants to pack your things and baggage them on caraxes. although pregnant, daemon assured you that he would fly as gently as he could. how he would achieve that, you didn’t know, but you were thankful for the thought.

a few hour flight had brought you to the castle you two had left all those years ago. it looks the same; red, towering walls and banners that proudly fly red and black targaryen sigils. you clutch on to the saddle, hair blowing wildly in the wind as caraxes makes his rounds to land within the dragonpit.

there’s a company that greets you and leads you to the way of the red keep. your child walks in between you and daemon, hands clutching yours as she makes sure to stay hidden behind her father. the red keep is all the same with little to no obvious changes.

soon, your family enters the great hall, where king viserys, princess rhaenyra, and your father and brother await. smiles parts the lips of all in the room and it’s harwin who moves first. he crosses the room in a few steps, arms wrapping around you. daemon abandons you and moves towards his brother, who he greets with a bashful smile.

lyonel is quick to join harwin and soon, his arms are around you as well when harwin releases you from his grasp. your father has tears welling in his eyes.

“how have you been, my sweet girl?” your fathers voice is soft in your ear and when he pulls away, his face is flushed with a blush. you lean in to give him a kiss.

“i’ve never been better or happier, father.” there’s a tug on your skirt that causes you to look down. you see your daughter whose eyes are wide as a does. you reach down and pick her up, settling her into the nook of your hip. “this, my love, is your grandsire.”

your father is quick to coo at the baby, his hand gently prodding her hands. she’s quick to grab on to them.

“she’s a beauty,” he marvels through a breath, “i would say she looks like you but,” he pauses, then all three of you burst into quiet chuckles. “may i?”

you allow your father to take your daughter into his hold. there’s a certain feeling that blossoms in your chest when you see your dad and your daughter. it makes you wonder what would’ve been if you had stayed in westeros.

your hand moves to your belly, “we have another one coming.”

“hopefully, she or he looks like they’re from house strong.” harwin is the first to put a hand on your belly, his brown curls bouncing with volume. you tut playfully, giving him a look, one that he mirrors.

you take a moment to look across the room where daemon and viserys stood talking. smiles and looks of adoration are shared between them. daemon seems to feel your gaze for he turns his head.

between the both of you, mindlessly, you thought you’d stay for a while.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for asking my mum to clean out the kitty litter trays even though its usually my chore

i drove to doctors and work this morning, i worked 8.30 till 5 she worked 8.30 til 4 and drove home after her shift ended to pick up my dance clothes for me (i only didnt have them because i had to stay late at work since 3 people went home sick).

my friend cancelled on me for dance tryouts so i spend the afternoon crying and eventually choose to go anyway because i was excited for hiphop but by this point my head is pounding.

i get out of work, she drives me to dance and goes to get macdonalds while she waits for me to get out. halfway through dance they mention we are not even doing hiphop today not until next week (u have to pay for the tryouts btw)

i get out 7.40ish. on the drive home im thinking "fuck its almost 8 i havent done any uni study, (i have 2 lectures, a quiz and like 8 readings that need to be done today and tomorrow), i havent spent any time with our cats or cleaned their litter trays yet."

for reference we have new cats and are introducing them into a house with a dog so rn we have them in one room and let them out occassionally while putting the dog out back, while i clean out the litter trays and top them up every day, once a week we empty them completely and clean them out

so we get home and i say "would it be too much to ask if you could please do the litter trays tonight" i try to explain that i have a headache and ive still got a lot of uni homework to do and i havent spent any time with the cats so i'd play with them for a bit while she cleans the trays and then do my homework

immeadiately she starts yelling at me that shes tired, she hasnt been home from work all day, she did it last time, shes done so many favours for me already today and blah blah blah.

the way i see it, first, i clean the kitty litter trays every day and vacuum their room. she has literally never done this, she emptied out and washed a tray last week because i was sick and got home from work and passed out. i (a learner btw so im very stressed when i drive) drove us to her appt and then to work, i worked more hours than her today, i danced all night with a headache, i also have not been home all day, after being cancelled on and then them not even doing the type of dance i wanted to do and i still have to do uni work tonight so i dont think im the selfish one here.

but sitting in my cats room while they eat their dinner i can hear her storm about and slam doors because shes so mad at me but i dont understand am i in the wrong here?

also literally as i am writing this she comes out and goes "tell me when youve finished dinner so i can let the cats out. and DONT leave it too late" while my food is literally cooking as we fucking speak jfc.

i have a bit of a diary where i write when mum is mad at me because if i mention to her that she upset me it never goes well so i write it down to safely let those feelings out and as i was writing this one i just needed some clarity i really cant fathom any reason for her to be mad except egocentrism so perhaps an unbias outsider can shed light?

What are these acronyms?

[hannie-dul-set]

sunwater [teaser].

SYNOPSIS. this is how you get a merman boyfriend.

PAIRING. park sunghoon x female! reader. GENRE. merman! sunghoon, artist! reader, slight college! au, strangers to lovers, romance, modern fantasy, humor, suggestive. WARNINGS. swearning, drowning, dirty/inappropriate jokes, mentions of sex, things might get a lil spicy but No Explicit Smut, mermaid politics, reader says and does a lot of questionable shit (might add more as i progress!) WORD COUNT. full fic: est. 20k more or less. teaser: 1.3k RELEASE DATE. late july to early august.

NOTE. finally thought of a title last night and immediately made the header so i can post the teaser HAUHASDH. stemmed from a convo with a friend of mine (i quote "u reject every man woman person that tries to date u. little do they know, ur type isn't human 🤩").

anyway, send me an ask/dm to be added to the taglist! preview under the cut.

GANGNEUNG-SI, GANGWON-DO. The drive to the east coast is always nostalgic, like fragments of previous summers are powdered into the air and with every inhale of the breeze outside the car window fills you with the past— scraped knees from the rocky beachside, saltwater daydreams under bunny-shaped clouds, and the smell of paint and the sea melting together in early morning dews. It takes a little over an hour for the cab to roll up to your summer neighborhood. It takes twenty minutes of walking to get to your family’s vacation house situated right beside the sea.

“Welcome home.”

Your words echo in the empty living room and your own voice greets you with remembrance. A smile crawls onto your lips. Eggshell walls, sandy brown wooden panels, your favorite blue sofa matching the stripes on the rug underneath it, and the sheer cream curtains painted with the orange spills of the sunset through wall to ceiling windows— it’s a still life painting of last year’s summer. Prior to that, you still had plants around, but they kept dying, getting replaced and dying again until your neglectful guilt finally hit you. Throughout highschool, your family diligently spent time here every December and July. Now, it’s just you every summer and the caretaker that comes by every few months.

“I should call mom after dinner,” you hum, washing the dishes you found in the cupboards. Your first night here always ends early. By sunfall, you have a quick meal, wash up, tuck yourself into bed upstairs and allow yourself to be lulled to sleep by the sloshing waves of the nighttime sea. 

Four in the morning is when you start to feel alive.

The first thing you do upon waking up, pitch black sky with the sun still hiding behind the oceanline, you grab one of the bags you left on your living room sofa, slinging it over your shoulder before picking up a folded up easel leaned against the wall and two of the blank canvas panels stacked beside it. Your body moves mechanically, practiced and familiar movements— sliding the glass door open to the backyard and closing, feeling the sand wither underneath your bare soles until soft grains blend into jagged stone as you climb up the natural staircase of rocks, leading up to a solid flat plateau.

Is it safe to be painting on top of a cliff when you’ve just woken up? No. Have you been doing this every day since you were fourteen every summer you spend at your vacation home? Yes. 

When the sun starts to rise, you become invigorated with life that it almost feels like rebirth.

You haven’t fallen to your death yet, and you don’t have any plans to slip and succumb to its cold hands any time soon. Not until you manage to perfectly capture the image before your eyes at this very moment; neither your memories nor your imperfect renditions can compare to the vibrancy of the orange stained waves, the clarity white seafoam kissing its surface, and the beauty of flaming disk peeking from the firmament where the sky meets the sea in all its ephemeral glory.

It’s five-thirty when the sun fully emerges from the water. Your legs give in, and you fall onto the rocky ground with a sigh. All you could finish is the underpaint today. You’ll continue working tomorrow. 

Whenever someone asks you— why the fuck are you doing this? you never have a satisfying answer. It’s an exercise, it’s a routine; it’s the only time when I feel like I’m painting something worthwhile. You have countless pieces in galleries and exhibits, meaningless works with the highest praises from your professors, but they’re nothing worth the buzz of your fingertips whenever you chase the sunrise with your own paint-stained hands until it inevitably, ritualistically flies beyond your devoted reach.

The strain in your leg muscles takes forever to recover. You should remember to bring a stool tomorrow because although you don’t feel anything besides adrenaline whenever you attack the canvas with your brush, the aftertaste can be a little brutal. 

“Can’t you stay a little longer tomorrow?” you mumble to the orange tinted sky as you lay on the uneven ground, arms and legs spread out in vulnerability. When it doesn’t respond, you groan and pull yourself up. You could leave your painting materials here, but the probability of them getting thrown into the ocean by the wind is too high for your peace of mind.

As you collect your paint brushes and gather your extra paint tubes, your eyes keep getting pulled by the ocean’s songs. The scene before you has been imprinted in your retinas since you were seven. So when something appears amiss or changes, you can pick it apart immediately. A shift in the tides. A crack in the rock formation. Even a floating piece of driftwood from afar can’t slip away from your attention.

So when you find something— rather, someone emerging from the warm blue near the sprouting rocks, you drop your things and pace quickly to the edge to get a better look.

This is odd. This entire plot of land is private property, and it’s the only way to get into the water besides the island across it, which is still at least twenty miles away. Your eyebrows furrow, wondering how they got here, but when you get to the edge of the cliff, the rough terrain biting into your feet, your concerns are suddenly thrown into the water underneath you.

You can see the intruder’s face clearly now. Whoever he is, he’s breathtaking.

He’s gotten closer to the shore, resting his arms on the inky rock, half submerged into blue depths. The saltwater beads glisten like jewels on his porcelain skin, splashing sunlight into the water when he throws his head back before letting the ocean consume him once more. There’s a flicker of gold that splashes above the surface in a steady rhythmic wave, slowly moving further away.

You have found your new ocean sunrise. You don’t intend on letting him get away.

Splash!

Suddenly, all the warmth from your skin is stripped away as your body sinks into the sea, engulfed by the thick raptures of its waves. Though having been enamored by it for the better part of your life, you have never stepped into the ocean’s embrace— never dared to corrupt its ethereal beauty with your feeble humanity— that is, until now. You slowly feel heavier, and each second hurts more than the last, like the sun itself has entered your lungs and is burning you from the inside. Maybe you should have learned how to swim. Maybe you shouldn’t have jumped off the cliff in the rushing hopes of catching a fleeting stranger’s attention.

No one should underestimate the lengths an artist would go for their art. Just when your consciousness starts to slip, you see a spark in the dark water, slowly approaching before your eyelids flutter to a close. You can hear nothing. You feel nothing but the cold, until all of the sudden you’re gasping, coughing out water from your lungs and the jagged rock you’re laying on sinks its teeth into your wet palms.

There’s one person who could have saved you. You can’t believe your deranged plan worked.

You open your eyes and look above, your still beating heart burning into a frenzy and instead of the sunrise sky, your gaze meets a pair of stygian gemstones muddled with concern. A few droplets of water from his damp hair fall onto your cheeks. 

“Are you okay?”

Burnt stars form a constellation on his face. His lips are full and painted by coral hues. 

“I want to burn you in my memory.”

He’s even more breathtaking up close, it’s almost impossible to believe. Your gaze draws down, noticing how you’re caged between his arms, noticing the patchy waist bag loosely hanging on his bare hips over a makeshift skirt of fabric, noticing the iridescent gold flakes blending into his skin, shimmering under the sunlight from where his lower half should be.

You flit your eyes back up. His are now widened in panic.

Splash!

sunwater. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.

[threadsoflacee]

there is a running joke btw my best friend and i that is Whenever we r venting and being vulnerable we start to become afraid we’re being emo . and it goes like this "I’m so tired of living like this nobody understands me (🐺🖤🥀)." . Do U think will graham ever had those moments in s2. like its late at night and hes wearing his best suit and has his hair styled and cologne on and hes dining with hannibal and theyre smiling and saying poetic metaphors and giving each other secret glances and will is enjoying his time SO much but then hes like Wait girl what am i doing. Girl go home. I’m being fucking crazy rn. Do u think he goes home after just having dinner with Hannibal and hes like Maaaaan why did i open up so vulnerably to himmmmm😖 . Meanwhile he was just eating dessert. post friendship clarity

[andkisses]

♡ hi high | sunoo ♡

today is the day–sunoo either confesses, or he doesn’t, because his heart can’t take much more of this

♡ sunoo x gn!reader | wc. 1.4k ♡ genres/tropes: FLUFF !! mild angst on his part he’s just too in love, artist!college!au if u squint ♡ mentions of/warnings: n/a ♡ a/n: this was originally something i wrote for jisung from skz and had  posted on an old blog which has since been deleted </3 enjoy ! ♡ masterlist ♡

Thoughts bubble up in his head brighter than the colors that surround him, bursting with possibility. He hasn’t seen you all day—he planned it that way. This is all part of his plan, that he has under control and is totally ready to execute.

So why does his stomach turn whenever he takes a step?

Sunoo leans forward, resting an arm against the lemon yellow art lockers to stretch. Why is he even nervous? This morning, in the art composition class you share, where you sit two rows in front of him and one over, he couldn’t even dare send his glance your way. He’s sure he made you worried; he’s normally sending petite paper airplanes over your shoulder with witty jokes about the assignments or the professor’s rant of the day. Heeseung already tried to talk it out of him, running the conversation in circles until he almost succeeded, but Jungwon came in with some sort of distraction. He’s the only one who knew what, exactly, Sunoo’s plans entailed.

He isn’t sure why he picked today, even. Maybe someone else picked it for him. He can’t remember. But it doesn’t matter. He knows that if he doesn’t have a hard deadline, a do-or-die date, he’s never going to commit. He’ll sit in his feelings silently forever and never do anything. How many times had he nearly gone up to you, only to rush past? Or turn the other way? Or simply stop walking altogether?

Surely, you’d seen the way he’d looked at you. You’re so clever, he knows; you have to have noticed. Most days, it was as if you drew up the sun in the morning and set it to bed at night, only to pull out a glossy curtain of stars. Sunoo couldn’t help but watch as you went throughout your day—you shared several classes, having similar enough majors. You got lunch together often and would study for shared exams together at the library. Your friend groups even overlapped. You had to have noticed.

How Sunoo’s heart soars when you’re nearby, and gets despondently sad when you’re away. How he tries to laugh brighter, tell better jokes, try to hide how his hands shake and keep his voice as steady as possible when he teases you back? How being your friend is the best thing in the world.

Falling in love with his best friend wasn’t ever an option in his head, but now he’s here.

He recalls an instance last summer, where everyone had met up to watch fireworks and eat ice cream on the shore. It took one look, and then it was as if Cupid had glued Sunoo’s shoes to the pavement. The way the rich late afternoon lit up your hair, or how your smile seemed even brighter. If he hadn’t already known, Sunoo would have picked that instance to say he had fallen in love. The moment of total clarity.

Somehow, he’s gone from leaning against the lockers to sitting on the floor, back pressed against the chilly metal. A knot forms in his throat and all too suddenly it’s hard to breathe, and everything is all too real. Could he really do this? How many stories had he read, dramas had he watched, where confessing ruins the friendship? Could he manage life without you in it? Your smile, your voice, the sweet scent of your perfume?

Those are all only stories, though.

Right?

The campus clock chimes the top of the hour in the distance. Sunoo knows his own time is running out, sand disappearing through his fingers. The flowers he purchased earlier lay idle by his side, sparking hot pinks and lemon yellows and apple greens. They don’t match the autumn weather outside, the leaves that slowly turn crunchy with the wind that nips and bites at cheeks. Maybe, if he had thought of it, he could have waited for you outside, then he could blame the flush of his face, neck, ears, on the encroaching winter breeze.

Sunoo tries to encourage himself by thinking of things that are harder than this, but that in itself is fairly difficult. Confessing to you—spitting out three simple, itty-bitty words—is harder than the college practice exam he took to get in, or any exam for his major since. At least with that, there were guidelines to follow that, if done correctly, yielded an expected outcome.

With this? With you?

There’s only hope to guide him.

The phone in his back pocket buzzes, but he doesn’t check it. He’s reminded of your text at lunch, while he was deliberately avoiding you. Treats after school? Wednesdays are always cafe days. You two meet up once your afternoon classes have finished and walk to the nearest cafe, order each other’s favorite drinks, and talk about the day. Sunoo’s planning on taking you there as your first official date, should you say yes.

Should you say yes?

He had to ask you before you could have a chance to say no.

He had to ask.

He has to ask.

The sound of his shoes against the newly-polished floor echo against the lockers. Students gathered in small groups working on beginning-of-semester projects offering him a passing glance before returning to their work. Early evening sunlight cuts at harsh angles, but Sunoo doesn’t mind. There’s only one thing he’s focused on—finding you, asking you, telling you. His heart can’t take the secret anymore. He can’t stand being in a room with you and feeling like his entire being was about to burst with how much he adores you.

The distance between the two of you, he decides as his heart pounds, either needs to vanish or become insurmountable. 

The doors press open and Sunoo realizes he didn’t put his cardigan back on, it’s still tied around his waist, and the early autumn winds claw at his button down’s white sleeves. He’ll have time to do it later, he decides. He’ll have time to do a bunch later. The flowers also aren’t in his hands, left behind on the floor by the lockers, but he knows there’ll be other times to buy you more.

He’d buy you the whole world if he could. 

His nerves dare him to stop, turn back, call off cafe day. His heart pushes him forward, blood rushing in his ears. You’re consuming his thoughts. He knows where to find you;it’s where you always wait. He barely registers Jungwon walking away from you, his seemingly casual glance and wink in Sunoo’s direction. It's a good luck. It’s a go get ’em. It’s the last bit of encouragement Sunoo needs.

“Why did you run? It wasn’t like I’d leave without you.” You laugh, and it sounds like bells to Sunoo. You sock him in the arm, but he doesn’t feel that either. Your gaze shifts from teasing to concerned. “Sunoo... are you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just…” Sunoo stands up straight, reaches for your hands, and stops himself. The words get tangled on his tongue and he blinks slowly to catch his breath. This is it. The point of no return, and even though he hasn’t said anything, you’re clever; he knows you know something is happening. The wind blows a lock of hair into your face and, for once, Sunoo doesn’t freeze. Doesn’t stop himself or hold himself back. His hand reaches up, fingertips catching the flyaway strands and tucking them safely behind your ear. When his attention turns back to you, it seems that you’re the one who’s frozen up.

He takes both of your hands lightly in his his, fingers grasping yours with his thumbs on your knuckles. “I have something to tell you.” He curses the slight shake at the end of his words, but your hand is still so warm, even after waiting in the cold for him. Which must be why your cheeks are red, too. Because of the chill in the air?

Or maybe…

All you manage is a small “Oh?” and it’s enough to send Sunoo over the edge. This is it. There’s really no going back. He breathes deep, closing his eyes, before exhaling, the words falling out. I like you. “I like you a lot.” He’s afraid to open his eyes, but your hand hasn’t pulled away, so Sunoo dares to look.

Your eyes are wide, and your breath seems to have gotten stuck, and now Sunoo’s sure he’s messed up somehow. Fear creeps up his neck, sticking needles where even the wind can’t bite, and he’s about to pull his hand away when you tug him close. Your shocked expression turns to one of joy, and you stretch up on your toes to press a small, chaste kiss to the apple of Sunoo’s cheek, and now it’s his turn to look surprised.

You sink back onto your heels with a large smile, lacing your fingers in between his. “I thought you’d never tell me.”

[mrs-monaghan]

https://www.tumblr.com/mrs-monaghan/718506779663876096/i-just-watch-bon-voyage-1-and-it-gave-me-clarity

Talking about being sexually active, who among the two do you think could have initiated things the very first time? I don’t think you’ve addressed that b4.

I could be wrong but i really think it was Jk who would have made the first move. Hear me out! I know that Jimin was the one who was always very vocal about wanting hugs and kisses and dates etc but I remember the members saying he(JM) was the most innocent of all the members I think he was the only one who never had any dating experience whatsoever and also, even though on the surface Jk seemed really shy, he also seemed to me like someone who was bold enough to go in for the lips if he just couldn’t take it anymore lol! Have u seen Jk staring at JM’s lips? Also, remember the “I want you, (3X)” video? For a painfully shy introvert, he sure was bold enough to openly tell Jimin he wanted him lol. Not once, not twice but three good times! If he could be that bold infront of the camera, can u imagine what he was like when it was just him and Jimin? Nah the more i think about it, the more convinced i am that Jk made the first move.

Another thing i always wondered was about their sleep schedules. Now we know that Jikook are the two members who loved staying up late doing whatever and they told us that sometimes in order not to wake up the other members, the prefered to put blankets out and sleep outside the rooms together. Do you think it was just the fact that their sleep schedules matched made them all nighter buddies? I mean, the way i see it, there had to have been something else that made them love sleeping together so much that they will both sacrifice their beds and choose to sleep on blankets they laid on the floor, just so they could be together. When i think of this sometimes, i get so baffled at the fact that so many people still do not want to accept the fact that Jikook is and always were the only posibility if there was ever a couple in BTS! I mean, how can u sanely see these two with anyone else other than them, when they both have been obsessed with sleeping with e/o from the very beginning? Tkkrs always compare and say, Jk always choose V to be his roommate. Well yeah he did always choose V but what good was that if he always ended up spending his nights with Jimin anyways? He was the one who literally described Jimin as his all nighter friend and he specifically said that, all the time they are always up together late at night doing something and he doesn’t even know what they do but they are just up together doing something! This habit continued for over 10 years! We even had Jhope telling us the same thing in his documentary, that Jk and Jimin always stay up late together! So if u think that Jk or Jimin were with other people (members of the band) when exactly did they have cuddle time with the other people when Jk and JM were always together at nights? Not just at night but Jk and JM rode in the same car together for years, who will be ok with their partner spending that much time with someone else? Who? They were always together during filming, always together backstage, always together watching e/o rehearse, always together riding back home, always together at nights (Tae himself confirmed this more than once) always together on birthdays, anniversaries, holidays etc! So when exactly did they spend time with their partners? I mean how can pple choose to be so blind?

Anyways i’ll like to hear what you think.

I think people are extremely stupid anon. I didn't know how many stupid people there were till I joined the fandom. It's honestly beyond me.

I think the person who was supposed to end up as JK's roommate was quite lucky seeing as he always ended up sleeping by himself anyway. JK has been in Jimin's bed from day one. Like u said anon, I fail to see how this wouldn't be an issue for V or anyone else who is supposedly dating JK.

It's the birthdays for me. It's always gonna be the birthdays for me. I am yet so see another JK shipper explain how JK is always with Jimin 4 his birthdays and not his supposed bf

As for your first question I think JK made the first move. With everything. But not because Jimin is the most innocent (he's not) but rather because Jimin being the oldest may have waited for JK to make the first move. Not wanting to pressure him or whatever.

He may have let JK take the lead. In terms of initiating anyway. My theory is JK wasn't toping in the beginning. It was Jimin. Just coz he's the oldest and had more experience with rlships as mild as they may have been. When you're figuring things out you gotta try everything and see what works for who. Even the first kiss JK could have started it then Jimin took over and guided the kiss. That type of thing.

I think not wanting to push JK was something super important for Jimin. I showed here during the priest episode how he waited for JK to hug him. Super underrated moment but shows how Jimin respects JK enough to give him the option to say no or pull away.

We stan a consent king 🙌🏽

[compassionatereminders]

Re: the autism anon

I feel like I could have written that ask about 6 months ago, so this is gonna be very based on my own, very very similar experience

Ur right Kat on autism support needs changing over time, I’m gonna go a little further and say that to my understanding autism can’t get worse, per se, but the experience definitely can.

I personally experienced & it’s common for & I think anon is experiencing the “it gets worse before it gets better” or more specifically “it feels worse before it feels better” even though it is getting better. (I’m gonna use “you” as a general term) Like, it goes too anxious and burnt out to notice you’re struggling -> just better enough to have capacity to notice you’re not doing too hot / enough capacity to feel bad about it -> better enough that you feel progress.

My clarity of words is now going away cause it’s late but I wanted to say this for like “yeah recovery weird and bumpy but it’s ok” for everyone and for that anon specifically u can dm me if u want and I will have better advice and thoughts and im falling asleep

Last thing I got diagnosed with ADHD on top of the autism and when I started the meds for that , woag I feel so much better so maybe check that out it’s a very common co mordidity

Hope this is in line Kat I think this is the best way to tell the person who is like me and this blog helped me get better in the first place so I wanted to help like I was helped in the past ok night .<3

No, autism isn't a degenerative condition. It also isn't something you can recover from. But it IS possible for autistic people to lose functioning with age, both due to comorbid conditions and things like regression or autistic burnout. Just like it's possible for some autistic people to gain functioning with age by treating comorbid conditions and learning to accommodate their needs better. And I encourage anon to contact you if they want more information from someone who has actually been through some of the above!

[morganpdf]

U kno what. Go ham and answer all (or as many of the questions as you want/are relevant) for uhhhhhh Robin and/or Fig (idr if Fig is your OC or Justice’s OC so I’ll leave it up to you)

damb!!!!!!!!!! an excuse to talk too much about robin lets go!!!!!!! (fig is @saltylenpai's and he's not feeling 2 well so i dont wanna bombard him w messages rn dsfds but if i know something for them ill answer it)

also warning for ~mature themes~ or w/e bc this is about robin and she fucks. sorry (nothing graphic just the acknowledgement that she does)

also just for clarity's sake, when i say 'connect 4' thats just the name juice & i use for august/piper/robin/felix bc thats easier than naming them one by one dsfds. on w the show

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?

god ngl i can't really, remember, justice might have named her?? like. that's the most likely scenario :sob: he's named so many of my ocs when we were doing back-and-forths trying to figure out the vibes of guys. robin was fun tho bc she didnt have a name when i first posted her bc i really liked her design and wanted to post it despite not having. u know. a name for her yet. also just checked her og post and it has 69 notes. its what she would want

🌼 - How old are they? (Or approximate age range)

when i first made her, robin was 25! now its sort of just a nebulous mid-to-late 20s depending on when art of her takes place tbh! i'd say she's 24/5-ish around the start of that story (so, like, when she finally breaks it off 100% w zoey [her shitty ex that she started dating in highschool], piper moves in w her, potential one night stand w felix, etc etc). maybe a little younger but also not by much. by the time she's got shit more figured out (ie felix has moved in, she & piper have started dating, getting help for her various neuroses etc) would be like 28-29, probs in her 30s by the time they ALL move in together imo. i could be off w that tho but its fine dsbhfs their story is always changing and growing so who knows!

okay wait i just came back to this like 3 hours after starting to write these & sitting on it and. i think robin is roughly 23 when zoey breaks up w her and piper moves in. august is in her senior year of undergrad when she meets piper (again) and she's younger than robin. i think piper is the youngest?? okay wait. ok. robin is 23 when piper moves in, who is 21 at the time. august is 22 & felix is like 21 and a half. or something. at the very beginning. or maybe robin is 22 and piper is 20 and they dont encounter august for another year or so??? idk. ill figure this out eventually. where i draw her most is her late 20s when shes happy w everyone HSDVSFV thats what matters

🌺- Do they have any love interest(s)?

yeas :3 felix is their partner/fiancé (they dont get married for a long time even after getting engaged bc robin just, really likes calling them her fiancé. it's really special to her) and piper is her girlfriend!! it took a long time for robin to realize she was worth loving tbh but all of connect 4 are out here trying to remind her whenever they can (even august. begrudgingly.) (also just to clarify, august is piper's wife) (and felix's gym buddy/bestie/fuck buddy) (she and robin have some sort of fwb thing going on. enemies with benefits. they pretend to hate each other but dont be fooled. theyre besties) (august just isnt romantically involved w anyone But piper) (same w felix & robin)

also fig is dating wren! however i have no current art of them :sob: he's a sweetheart printmaking major who meets fig in school. fig is a fine arts type major who minors in, like, photography, & also tries to work w as many mediums as possible. wren is kind of infatuated w them but tries to hide it bc he's... a dork. he's a dork who does NOT know how to talk to people. and takes to doodling fig in their sketchbook & making prints abt the nebulous Feelings they give him. fig is Aware of it but is Very Autistic abt it all & cant place their own feelings for a while. it all comes to a head when they're. like. hanging out together in the studio and fig just drops a description of how theyve been feeling around wren and wren is like. um. ummmm. did they just fucking. confess to me. and then it's another week before wren is like heeyyyyyyyyyy. would you. like to go on a date. and fig is like. ok :) anyways theyre very in love.

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

is coffee a food. i think robin would live off of it if she could. felix is like, the main reason she starts actually Eating Food Normally bc they wont let her drink 5 iced coffees & call it a day. but to tell u the truth ive never really thought abt her fav food! it's probably something really simple, tho, like one of her dad's pasta recipes. comfort foods to the max.

💼 - What do they do for a living?

robin works as a barista at the coffee shop below her apartment (let me have this fantasy). ive said it once and i'll say it again: robin is the epitome of coffee shop au (derogatory). she doesnt Hate it bc so much free coffee & all her coworkers are some kind of queer but shes also like. not exactly a social butterfly & if anyone's ever a jackass to her she will Not take it (let me have this fantasy also). she's llike 5' even but if anyone yells at any of her coworkers. even ones she doesnt like. she's up to bat so fast. u wanna speak to the manager? ok speak to me. ill kill you

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

YEAS robin likes to sew & make clothes/costumes in her spare time. zoey used to make fun of her abt it so she kind of fell off of it for a while, but when piper moved in w her & showed interest in it, robin picked it back up! didn't get fully back into it for a while, but she's out here making clothes for connect 4 as a labor of love (esp felix bc. theyre fucking huge & have trouble finding things in their size sometimes. especially in the arms). also i specify costumes bc she absolutely drags all of them 2 conventions w her in themed cosplays that, like, none of them but robin understand dvgfsdgv. she also sometimes tag-teams w ellis (august's old college roomie) bc xe's actually really into cosplay & nerd shit but can't sew. however xe CAN work w robin to add cool practical effects to costumes and as much as they bully each other . ngl their cosplays always fuck. OH ALSO robin has a tattoo gun . she gives herself tattoos sometimes. when she's feeling it. sometimes the others get in on it dsfds

🎯 -What do they do best?

bitch and moan and be a hater. fuck nasty lesbian style. etc etc

jokes aside tbh . i dont want to boil her down to "barista" but she IS, like, good at what she does. the shit she makes slaps. one of those bitches who has as many fancy coffee gadgets around the apartment as she can afford (and some she cant). no one's complaining tho bc. despite all the bitching she does. she really likes doing things 4 the people she loves and has everyones morning favs down pat

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

once more. bitch and moan and be a hater & fuck nasty lesbian style. dsvbhgfvbsdh. this is only half a joke tbh robin can be hypersexual & genuinely really enjoys sex so like. yeah. she loves to bone down w any mix of connect 4 and it's a blessing that there's 3 other people bc sometimes i dont think any one of them could keep up. lmao. other than that she enjoys, like, reading indie comics & also manga tbh. loves to cuddle up w felix in bed while they read bc they have sleeping trouble & she knows she helps sometimes. loves to plan dates & hangouts even if she complains the whole time. loves spending any & all time she can w her loved ones now that she lets herself Connect on an emotional level as for shit she hates 2 do. working closers @ opening back to back (happens often). not a fan of cooking. hates going to the gym but will do it to watch felix & august work out. thinks most chores are a sisyphean task that she, personally, has been burdened with (enjoys doing laundry tho). hates talking abt her feelings but gets better abt it

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

the first christmas she spent w felix was. ngl. life changing for her. even if shit broke bad shortly after :sob: (they get it worked out but it gets messy for a hot second). genuinely one of the first times she feels Loved for who she is & like she could deserve it someday. which scares the hell out of her in the moment but. despite everything she still thinks abt it fondly also. when she proposes to felix is up there. not necessarily the proposal (that was slapdash & embarrassing and she kind of wants 2 crawl into the dirt) (after weeks of planning & getting cold feet Once Already, she just drops it on felix while they're driving & they nearly crash bc thats nothing they would have ever expected robin 2 say. and robin ends up so embarrassed she nearly has a panic attack trying to backtrack bc what was she doing what was she saying this was the worst obviously youre going to say no im so sorry please ignore everything ive said in the past 5 minutes--) (felix has to pull over on the side of the road to help robin Chill)but the aftermath, when she's calmed down enough that felix is able to be like, hey, hey, baby. look at me. you can take it back if you really want but the answer would be yes either way ok? and they have a Moment and end up making out w robin sat up on the guard rail while the sun sets around them. very romantic save for all the honking they get

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

most anything involving her ex and highschool. tbh. that's all kind of a blur for her but it's not like she Wants to remember any of it. zoey has always preyed on her insecurities & kind of molded her into the bitter cunt she pictures herself as so. it's kind of all bad. she wasn't a good person when she was with zoey & she knows it & feels guilty abt it. other contenders include: when she lied to her dads abt going to college in LA (she went for a semester and dropped out) specifically to be w zoey, knowing they wouldnt have Let Her Go had they known zoey was involved (they did not like zoey). any memory involving holidays spent alone (or worse: w zoey) when she would ignore calls from her dads. another contender for worst is the memory of seeing felix for the first time after their initial break up because ough ouch oof owie that sucked shit.

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

nope! she was originally a splatoon octoling :^] still very similar vibes tho!

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

juice & i wanted to make splat ocs that were salmon runners! her og lore is that she worked salmon run shifts over night & coffee shop shifts during the day. no time to sleep she needs to make money. now she just has the coffee shop job but she's still just as cranky and mean. FELIX HOWEVER has changed so much. i know this isn't abt felix but its still wild thinking abt just how much they've mellowed out compared to like, og felix.

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

slice of life :^] same as august and piper. there's a post going around abt, like, coming of age stories for adults where. u know. people over 25 or whatever are finally coming into their own & if that was a Genre id absolutely smack robin into it. she grows A Lot from her 20s into her 30s. continues to grow from there, too. haven't thought too much abt, like, Older Connect 4 bc i have some Neuroses around that, but shhh

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

robin is cis </3 but a lesbian! <3 fsdfds (august is also cis and a lesbian. piper and felix are the partners w the genders) (piper is a trans lesbian & felix is. genderfluid? queer? has something going on. & bisexual. like. fuck men as a man, fucks women as a woman, etc) (u only technically asked abt robin but shh)

fig is (wavy hand motion) and demi :^] juice is still playing around w their gender, when i asked it was like. some variation of nonbinary or agender leaning on towards transfem. gender simply does not matter to them

🙌 - How many sibling does your OC have?

both robin and fig are only children!

robin feels Guilty abt that often bc she feels like she's kind of a fuck up and that her dads deserved a better daughter (they love her dearly and would never think she's a failure or a burden) (but robin has Neuroses)

fig is. tbh. very much a spoiled only child. theyre very sweet and kind tbh but they were (and are) Very Protected From Everything & their parents can and will do anything for them at any given moment. money is no object. they use this power for good as often as they can tho

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

ope didnt realize this was the next question dsvfgsd so. uh. oopies. i will add on that like. robins dads went the surrogacy route w her. her godmom was the gestational carrier & is pretty good friends w her dads so she shows up to family functions a lot dsfsd. ive yet to design her tho (very double income no kids lesbian aunt vibes from her) (i need to flesh her out more actually) (juice and i half designed robins dads once but didnt settle on anything. need to do that again)

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

i like that robin grows and heals w time, and even though she fucks up she still ends up happy w her friends and family. she has a support system of people who love her. despite going through deep shit & dealing w a lot of mental health issues, she's happy and safe and loved & has learned how to cope w things & is on her way to forgiving herself. she doesnt want to die anymore. she finally looks forward to the future. im normal. dont look too much into this. anyways

as for fig . my fav thing abt them is how in love w the world they are. they never get tired of how beautiful everything is, from sunsets to grass growing in cracks in the sidewalk to the patterns that gnats follow. its part of the reason they get into art tbh. they want to translate that beauty into their work. why they dabble in every medium they can. i love fig so much

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

robin is easily my most drawn oc (followed shortly by jo, but mostly bc jo was like. my only oc for a while & they were directly connected to a special interest at the time) BUT EVEN THEN. I DONT DRAW HER ANYWHERE NEAR ENOUGH 😭😭😭 rip to all my ocs who arent my comfort characters that no one fucking Knows about because i never draw them. BIGGER rip to the OCs who dont even have toyhouse pages bc i only drew them once years ago and have since redesigned in my mind but havent drawn yet. looking @ ellis & atlas & wren & graham especially. sorry to my boys (and ellis) i just never draw guys ever :sob: (posts that made me realize its literally like. all my guy ocs - and ellis - who i havent uploaded yet 😭😭😭)

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

lmao no absolutely not robin is going to live forever. all my ocs are immortal (<- guy who has Intense Neuroses & Anxieties revolving around death and is not in a place where he can unpack that shit yet)

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

i dont think robin has any ACTUAL phobias (like., defined ones. you know what i mean??) (like arachnophobia or agorophobia or w/e), but for the longest time she was terrified of showing anyone that she cares bc she didn't want to get used again. that's why the initial break-up? w felix happens (she admits she loves them during sex & then immediately panics and kicks felix out & runs away to her dads house for a month w/o telling anyone & purges all her socials. she's normal and makes totally rational decisions). she also has a pretty big Fear that zoey is going to dredge up old shit and start shit and make the rest of connect 4 leave her (which. like. zoey DOES try after a couple of years) (bc shes a petty motherfucker who is upset that robin's doing well) (it obviously. doesn't work) (piper writes a. quite frankly. scathing ass message to zoey) (august swears if she were a few years younger & stupider she would have gone out and started a Fight) (felix just holds her so tight) (anyways)

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

fig is absolutely incapable of having an arch-nemesis or rival. like. thats not something that could exist 4 them. they love everyone too much and just assume good intentions. its a problem sometimes.

also robin has several rivals tbqh. the peppy gay barista at work who is too much of a ray of sunshine. she is going to get him to crack. ellis is a rival bc xe hates everyone august has ever slept with (barring piper) (i dont think xe realizes she slept w felix though bc . those two had . a lot of risky hookups in public places i dont think they really ever boned at the apartment LMAO). august is her BIGGEST rival (said lovingly). their relationship is very (robin voice) shut up august im gonna go fuck your wife now. and august bullies her so hard. relentlessly. also full disclosure they also fuck sometimes but its specifically (i warned everyone abt sexual themes or whatever so i can say this) really rough nasty stuff bc august doesnt mind getting rougher w her and robin lives for it. lmao. very hatesex type shit where they're constantly butting heads while robin is tied to the bed. we have fun here

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?

i posted robin for the first time on sept 7 2020!! which is the same day as justice's bday which is fun. so! she'll be 4 this year :^] wild as shit tbh it still feels like she's a new oc to me.

fig also looks like they have a 2020 bday, just earlier in the year! wild!

🍥 - What age were you when you created the OC?

me sitting here like. okay how much pain am i gonna be in acknowledging how old i was in 2020. okay lets see. ok. robin was a week before my birthday which means i was. oh my god. i was 24. i wasnt even 25 yet. oh my god. ohghh my god. time comes for us all. i made robin older than me when i made her im gonna throw up. im gonna become an oyster. im gona

[mad-c1oud]

Hello o/ I honestly dunno how to begin

You having a Gordon pfp is fitting bc you are FUCKING C O O K I N G

A masterchef

I've never actually shipped Etoiles, and I had no idea Starcicle even existed, so I had your fic "fake it till you make it" sitting in my tabs for quite a while. One day I decided to bite the bullet AND HOLY SHIT OH MY GODS!?!!?!???????

You've written them in such a way that they have INCREDIBLE chemistry, and the whole atmosphere of the fic is so so so cozy I absolutely love it

(And the trespassing kiss scene was something WOWOOWWOWOWOW O.O O.O O.O made me insane)

I'm very excited for "it's making me insane", cause I'm a sucker for Etoiles with vine powers, and your take on it is so cool

(If u don't mind, could u explain it? I don't quite get how it connects to the full moon or not) (unless we learn more in the fic)

PLEASE keep cooking, the kitchen is yours.

Thank you

STOOPPPPPPPPP

I learned to cook from the best o7

Funny thing is I didn’t ship Étoiles with anyone either!! I am a Slimecicle girlie first and foremost so while I was looking for more fics with him, I stumbled across The thing worth doing well done by WheelCoveredInEyes because of the Charlie mention in the summary and then that kind of just… kickstarted my rabbit hole into starcicle. It was a slow burn thing until there wasn’t enough and I just had to throw my hat into the ring with a fic. Look at me now

And yeah!!! I need to give the cucumber and his powers some attention. There’s more in the next chapter but I’ll lay my general thoughts out here for some clarity!

Étoiles, being a veggie, means he’s a plant- I was going to go with the typical plants harness the sun thing but with his star imagery and literal name, I was trying to come up with alternatives. Then I remembered the existence of nightshades, or plants in the solanaceae family. These plants tend to thrive at night and in some cases, can be poisonous! Even if he was a cucumber, I really liked to idea of Étoiles thriving at night, so instead of photosynthesizing under the sun, the moon is his best friend!! The more moon he can feel on his skin the better. Think of it like a solar eclipse, when the sun it technically out but plants can’t get the sweet sweet rays for energy. New moons are bleh for that same reason.

Plus, he seems to stay up late on the server often… That’s why Charlie was so fascinated when Étoiles told him. The fighter is kind of an agricultural anomaly and Charlie, my lil gardener, is curious…

So keep your eyes peeled for mentions of the moon and night!! I dropped some in earlier chapters I believe? I’ll reveal more soon…

Thank you so much for all the sweet words, I keep rereading this ask <33333

Gordon and I will keep cookin’ o777

[urfavnegronerd]

dreaming of you- selena

trope: angst because i'm missing someone real hard rn so now its everyone's problem

published: july 20, 2023

warnings: sadness, possible errors (i edited it by myself so i did my best), tried rly hard to use regular punctuation, i haven't used y/n in a fic ever so for now we have a good ol character name that u can substitute if you'd like, alternates from past to present tense but let me know if i messed that up a bit so i can fix it for the sake of clarity, religious themes if you squint (a church, a saint and a prayer, nun too crazy mostly just honoring someone), i think that's it

pairing: oc (amari, gender neutral) x miles (1610 or e42, either works)

wc: 1.7k ish

cielito- little sky (at least that's how my family uses it), amor/ mi amor- love/ my love

Late at night when all the world is sleeping, I stay up and think of you

Time is fleeting, the days turn into months into years and however long. The concept of time is funny because doctors will tell you that you have a new dermal layer about every month. So my body has forgotten and forgotten him. It’s strange because he– Miles, is always in the back of my mind, tucked away quietly for me and only me.  

It’s been three years since Miles’ passing. 

and I wish on a star 

If I were to talk about Miles, I would tell you about his voice and how smooth it would sound 

“Amari,” he calls, reaching out for me. I hum a response, distracted by the calculus assignment in front of me. if I had known, I would have given him a proper answer. 

“Are you busy?” 

“ ’s just a little bit of calc” I mumble. 

“Oh. Do you need help?” I shook my head in response, too prideful to ask that of him. I felt him slowly and gently pad his way over next to me, the carpeting absorbing the sound, and put his head on my shoulder. His curls tickled my pierced ears, the scent of his hair overwhelming my senses. The smell of pomegranate and honey, something so soft and kind to me, to my nose, to my body. If I could go back, I would smell his hair over and over again, to keep that part of him with me, always.  

“I just wanted to feel you, Mari,” the mumbles into my shoulder sent butterflies into my stomach, the same way they always did. 

After I would tell you about his voice, I would tell you about his mind. 

Miles had the most beautiful mind, a painting of beauty in a warzone. A small rose, reaching up from the cracks in the concrete, fighting nature with pure willpower, a colorful muse in the bleakest of places. His mind was the birthplace of such beauties, and treasures, treasures that I will keep tucked away in my head. For me and only me. Something to tell the world, to tell Brooklyn, that Miles Morales was not invisible. He was the opposite. He was vibrant and kind.

“Amari, baby, do you like this with drips?” he asked looking back at me, standing on his tip-toes, his hands smeared with yellow spray paint, trying to reach an impossible spot with no one's shoulders to stand on. I look up from my book, perched on a tattered couch somewhere beyond the train tracks. The light he would use to paint throwies and murals was blinding, he would squint with his whole face starting with his nose and traveling to his eyes, brows, and forehead. 

“Yeah. I like the drips a lot baby,” he smiled something goofy, something whole-hearted and warm, no doubt the byproduct of the love he had in his home. In his heart. 

Miles was soft, too. 

He would lie on his back on the floor, staring at the sky on the rooftop and listening to music. He turned his head to me and stared. He stared at me like I was the brightest light he had to look at, like out of all the constellations I burned the brightest. At that moment, he was Galileo and I was the sky. 

“Cielito,” he whispered, taking the wired ear bud out of my ear and gently turning my face towards him. “I’ve never looked at someone as beautiful as you, knowing how much they love me. and I like you so much that I can hardly breathe Amari, and it's like I have this thunder in me, in my veins. You make me nervous. but also calm, calm from lovin'. Mari, I love you.” 

Instinctively, I blush, bringing the sweatshirt up and over my mouth. Smiling something fierce, I laugh and press my forehead to his. 

“I love you, Miles,” I whisper, staring into his eyes. I had never once been so sure about something in my life. But I was sure about Miles, I was sure about his hazel eyes and tightly wound curls. Sure about the way he looked at me like I was the only thing he could see. I was sure about the comfort and calm in his eyes, a small pearl in our Brooklyn neighborhood. 

I was sure about the way he kissed me next, sure about how softly his hands held my face. Sure about the small and rough callouses on his wrists, and how no matter how rough the world saw Spiderman, he was soft. comfort, warmth, and all of which are attributes of a home. And the more that I think about it, he was home. 

That somewhere you are thinking of me too 

I slam my hand on my alarm with a vengeance, and a seething ache in my heart arises as I look around my room. Sage green walls once clad with photos and posters, now stare back at me, tangled in bed, empty. All signs of a life that were once reflected on these walls are gone. Boxes litter my floor, and shelves once full of trophies, plaques, books, and jewelry, are empty. The only remnant I have of this room being full of warmth is in my head, tucked away neatly next to the memories of Miles. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes and tugging off my bonnet, I shimmy into cargo pants and a too-big hoodie. Miles’ hoodie. Folding up my pajamas, taking the sheets off my bed, and neatly folding them, I push the rest of my life into a box half full. 

I can’t tell if it’s anger or sadness that fuels me, but I push the boxes into one corner and sit on the edge of my now-stripped bed. I stare at the fire escape, the cool metal being the home to several sleepless nights, endless secret kisses and so much more. Memories of a life that’s been loved. 

A surge of emotion hikes in my chest, something that I don’t want to deal with, at least not yet. I pull on an old and battered pair of hightops and hike down the fire escape one last time. One last stop at the bodega down the block for flowers and a bag of sweet plantain chips, lightly salted. One last time to shove my metro card into the reader. 

Waiting for the train, I look up and see the sticker Miles stuck on the ceiling rail. I don't think Jefferson had the heart to take them down after he passed. Memories of a boy was loved beyond belief. Tugging the hood of my sweater over my head, I enter the train and grasp the cool metal. Something to ground me at this moment that feels surreal. Something to hold on to, an island in a hurricane.  

Stepping off the train, a shiver runs down my spine. The air hangs thick, despite the cool summer weather and a feeling of sorrow creeps up my throat again. Pushing it down, I walk. Walk past the small costume shop and endless coffee chains and then I stop. The church hangs ominously over me like it’s betting on me to turn back. To run from this nightmare, this anger, this pain in my chest. 

Shakily, I step forward, swerving behind the building and into the graveyard. Miles is next to Peter Parker, and I huff at the irony of it all. Clutching the chips and carnations in my hand, I walk to the heavily decorated graves. Emotions tug at my chest and prick my eyes. I finally let it leak from my tear ducts and streak my face. 

“Hi Miles,” I look at his headstone, half expecting him to respond in his slight Brooklyn drawl. I half expect him to reply Hi, Mari clear as day, like he used to. He doesn’t. 

“I leave for school today. It’s far, in Rhode Island.” 

I pause, my face contorting violently before finally letting out a choked sob. 

“You know, your mom keeps telling me that you wouldn’t want to see me like this. That I should let it out. And I feel so angry about it. Not at Rio, of course. Angry because who the hell gave you the idea that you could leave? Leave before Rio got to scream at our graduation. I’m not angry at you Miles, not in the slightest. You tried,” 

My voice breaks.

“So hard. You fought so hard, and I’m so proud of you. I just thought I should stop by before I leave. I brought you bodega flowers, and the chips you like. You don’t have to eat them.” 

I clean his grave up a bit, grabbing dead flowers, deflated balloons, and any sort of unsightly thing off his grave. There are a few unlit prayer candles left, no doubt from Rio’s extensive visits, almost all of them being Saint Micheal. Jabbing my hands into all my pockets desperately, I pull out an almost-dead lighter to light the five remaining candles.  

“May eternal rest be granted onto him,” I light the first candle, “let perpetual light be cast onto him,” the second, “for my faithful and departed soul, Miles” the third, “o lord” the fourth, “let his soul be at rest” the fifth, “and let him know that I love him.” 

I wipe my eyes one final time, kiss my three middle fingers, and gently press them onto the cold and gray granite.  

“Always good to see you, Cielito.” 

I stare at his headstone one last time. 

“I love you, Miles. You don’t have to say it back, mi amor.” 

The only thing pushing me to go back home is the fact that I have a long drive ahead of me. I would stay curled next to his headstone for the rest of my life. It kills me to think that he’s alone down there, probably cold. During his funeral, I remember placing his headphones on his chest before the casket closed. His hands were ice cold, the makeup made a poor attempt at covering the small and delicate freckles that littered his cheeks. The finality of it is forever etched in my mind. 

Somewhere, I hope he’s listening to music. 

I climb back up my fire escape and tumble into my now-empty room. Sitting on the floor, I fold my knees to my chest and stare at the walls. 

and there's nowhere in the world I’d rather be, than here in my room, dreaming about you and me.

fin <3

a/n: i didnt finish the get-down on Netflix, but zekes line where he confesses his love to mylene makes me cry every time, i had a really intense astronomy phase when i was little so i loved writing the galileo line it might show up in future fics idk. leave comments, constructive criticism and pointers!! and send reqs! love you goats 🩷

-rae

[mountinez]

hey nikka I heard this song and for some reason it reminded me of us. ‘when the darkness beats the bright we’ll be alright’ I know we will be, the darkness never seems to last forever no matter how long it seems. I hope no matter what I can be ur stargirl and u will be my sunshine ☀️💛

hi yi! didn't expect you would send me an ask because i know you are going through so much lately and you need some rest. but the selfish part of my heart really missed you here :') you are so special to me, and it's how i said more than once, i can't and won't let you go ever. i hope we stick to each other, even when the storm comes. because when it goes away everything gets calmer, we can see things with more clarity, take a deep breath and start all over again. and even when we got a bit hurt and angry about the damage the storm has made, we can look at it with such pride in our hearts. we made it through it! and this is what matters.

it just makes us appreciate how beautiful are the "little joys". this is the fun in all that 'send me into the long night with all your. little joys, little joys. see you in the sunlight, i don't wanna cry this time. i wanna fight'

i hope we can always share our little joys together, no matter what. you are my star, and as you said "the sun is also a star". we can bright together forever 🌟♥ love you to eternity!

[scum-belina]

Been very curious why or how you changed your mind about wanting kids. You used to be so staunchly child-free lol

Believe me, no one was more surprised at my total change of heart than I was. It happened in late October of 2021. I was feeling totally lost in life I didn't know what I wanted and had no motivation to live, and one day had a day and night long urgent prayer session where I just poured my heart out. At one point I prayed something along the lines of "God, I want to want whatever all YOU want me to want that is in your best plan and will for my life, and nothing else. Make your desires for my heart, the desires of MY heart."

the next morning I woke up feeling so at peace and had so much clarity about my life. I had been making a lot of progress in healing from a lot of trauma the last 3 months before, but on that morning I began to UNDERSTAND my healing, why things happened, why they were wrong, and why I needed to heal instead of being constantly bitter and scared, otherwise I'd be a slave to my trauma and the people who hurt me the rest of my life.

I realized why I was so vehemently against having children and just motherhood in general was due to all my bad experiences as a child and onwards. Namely how even when i was a child my mother, paternal grandmother, and a few other relatives relied on me and treated me like I was their mother and therapist. It made me repulsed of the idea of having children bc I didn't want anyone else relying on me, bc I thought it'd just be what i went thru with my mom and other relatives all over again. I was just obsessed with living on my own doing whatever I wanted on my own, having my own career, because then no one could hurt me. It'd just be me doing me.

But all that was based in fear due to my trauma. I realize now that I've healed that is not the life I want. Now I know without a doubt all I want is to be a wife and mother who takes care of her home and family. I have so much love to give and will give it freely forever to my family. I want to nurture, support, create, and entertain. The bigger our family, the better.

Also another thing I realized was I had seen SO many awful examples of parenting and relationships, that I assumed that's what it was like for everyone, and now I realize that does NOT have to be the case, so long as you actually are careful and wise in these matters. Unfortunately most people are not and they and saddest of all their children suffer for it.

I used to be obsessed with being something unique and world-changing, and now I realize what that is for me is being an incredible wife and mother, because goodness know the world needs them more than ever before (and incredible husbands and fathers too it goes both ways I shouldn't have to even say this but u know how ppl are!!!)

Again, no one was more surprised than me at my drastic change, but the crazy thing is that it never once made me upset. I was totally happy and at peace with it. My only struggle now is believing it will ever happen for me, and a struggle it is because I can't see anything good ever happening to me. But I do my best! In the meantime I'm just trying to live each day prayerfully and focusing on how I can keep making progress in myself and life in general.

[afterthedayisdone]

Sorry it took so long for me to get back to u 😅.

So basically I laid it all out and they said they pay me this past Sunday. That was told to me on Saturday late night and . So then all of Sunday I was Ignored. I waited till 5 pm Monday to basically say that they didn’t have to pay me and I wish them the best but we are no longer friends. They proceeded to text me hours later and come up with an excuse of getting a new job and that’s why they didn’t answer me even though everyone knows how long does it take to say hey started new job I’ll get u money this week. It just doesn’t add up because Friday when I spoke with them they would have known they started new job because that’s when they started was Friday so why would u tell me on Saturday that u would pay me Sunday if u just started a new job. I’m not sure where it’s going to end but in my heart I now know they aren’t my friend and they never was my friend and it’s that’s the part that hurts more than anything. So basically that’s it for now. I will update if they actually send any money or care for our friendship at all. But I am not very hopefully. Sad but u just kinda know and that’s where I am at right now.

Sorry for unloading on u bestie. Just a tired good person who wanted to update u on my meaningless life. I appreciate u and ur advice always ❤️. I don’t know why I continue to have to go through shitty people and events but I hope that u never have go thru the same ever again

So thank you. again ❤️✨⭐️🌟

Ps don’t ever change !

Oh bestie. What a terrible spot to be in (being taken advantage of by someone you thought cared for you). I’m sorry you had to walk this road, however, I hope it brought some clarity to what you thought to be a friendship. People SUCK and I too have had to learn that the hard way. I will anxiously await the update and hope for your payment. Also, I def don’t think your life is meaningless and I’m genuinely honored you felt safe to come to me for input. Love you mean it. 😭