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inkjackets · 4 years

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Shattered Sunshine

This piece was written for the @mlwriterzine

I was so grateful to be part of such a fantastic zine with so many amazing writers! (Do check out the works by everyone else, they’re all so good!!) Also big thanks to the mods for all their hard work in making honestly such a beautiful zine.

AO3

Paris glistened under the glorious summer sun; the skies shimmered blue overhead. Yet Marinette felt only ice swirl in her gut as she and Alya reached the top of the mountain.

She placed her basket down with a thump and inhaled the summer air, attempting to alleviate her anxiety. But it was hot and stifling and burned through her lungs, only succeeding in magnifying her emotions.

She brushed her fringe back. “I hate summer,” she muttered, glancing at her friend. With her short-shorts, loose buttoned shirt, and hair swept into a high ponytail, Alya Césaire looked the epitome of cool.

“No, you don’t,” Alya said, not unkindly, as she unravelled the picnic blanket. “You’re just nervous.” Marinette bit her lip and took the sides, helping her friend lie it flat. “Though I don’t know why,” Alya continued as they both crawled onto the rug, “I thought you’d be excited to see our ray of sunshine again.”

Marinette averted her gaze. Sunshine, sunshine, Paris’s perfect ray of sunshine. Yet the thought of him made her turn cold.

She grabbed the basket and unloaded the food while Alya laid the drinks on the blanket, but she tensed when she opened the box of Dupain-Cheng pastries, full of croissants and cookies …

And passionfruit macarons.

“It’s been five years, Alya,” Marinette said quietly. “What if everything’s changed?”

Alya cocked her head to the side. “Don’t you hope it has?”

Marinette clenched the box tight. Apprehension curled in her stomach and fear clawed its way through her as she gazed over Paris sprawled out far beneath them: iron rooftops gleaming; the Seine glittering; Sacré-Cœur shining like a beacon on the horizon; and backdrop to it all, the brilliant sun. Sweat trickled slowly down her back.

Nino’s distinct voice hit her ears followed by Adrien’s unmistakable laugh. Sickness and trepidation surged within her. She looked at Alya with panic, but her friend had already jumped up to greet the boys. Marinette scrambled to her feet and stared wide-eyed at Adrien—currently enveloping Alya in a hug. They broke apart. He turned to her. Her heart pounded.

For, in his white shirt, with that smile, and his eyes golden-green, Adrien Agreste was breathtaking.

“Hey,” he said, giving a small smile and a wave.

Marinette went to wave back, but she realised she was still holding the box of pastries. She frowned at herself. Why was it still in her hands?

“H-hey,” she then managed to get out.

They both stared at each other, unsure of how to proceed. He looked down at the box she was holding.

“Are those passionfruit macarons?” Adrien asked, wide-eyed.

“Uh, yeah,” she thrust the box forward. “Want one?”

His eyes lit up. Marinette’s heart warmed, and then it sank. She didn’t want to feel for him.

Adrien took a macaron, bit into it, and moaned. “God, I’ve missed your bakery.”

Marinette internally scowled at the heat that rose in her cheeks.

“Dudes!” Nino leapt in and wrapped his arms around them both, pulling them in so close they almost banged heads.

“Smile!” Alya grinned, readying her phone for a group selfie.

Adrien laughed, and he and Nino both pulled a stupid face. Marinette forced herself to smile. Alya snapped the picture.

“It’s been too long since the four of us have been together,” Alya said, grinning up at them all as Nino released her and Adrien.

Marinette felt Adrien’s eyes on her. She swallowed and glanced at him, not wanting those green eyes to make her heart flutter as it did. He gave a hesitant smile. She stared back. She didn’t smile.

“Dude! Are those Dupain-Cheng pastries?” Nino cried, ripping the box from her hands.

Marinette tore her eyes from Adrien and grinned. “Baked fresh this morning!”

Nino sat down and shoved a croissant into his mouth. “Ermagoh, oh goo!” he exclaimed, mouth overflowing with pastry. They all laughed and settled around him.

But while the other’s dove into the picnic and conversation, Marinette barely ate a thing and simply let the conversation wash over her.

She plucked blades of grass as the blazing sun burned her neck, and the start of a headache began pounding behind her eyes. And every time Adrien spoke, the chill in her stomach spread, worming its snaky tendrils right through her.

Yet, she couldn’t help but stare at him.

For he looked good—healthy even—relaxed and at ease. His smile was wide, and laugh loud, and hair more rugged than it used to be, lying somewhere between how he’d worn it at school, and how it’d been styled as his alter-ego, Chat Noir. A smile rose on her face; it suited him. However, with each flicker of his eyes and each smile that stretched just a little too wide, she could see his facade was cracking.

Because something was off.

Of course it was.

A part of her was desperate to comfort him and tell him everything was all right. But instead, she grabbed a can of Sprite and rolled it in her hands, squashing that part of her down. For there was a wall between her and Adrien. A wall she didn’t know how to—no. A wall she didn’t know she even wanted to break.

She spun the can faster.

“So what have you been up to, Marinette?”

Marinette tensed as those green eyes turned to her.

“I went to fashion school,” she said, simple and quiet.

“I always knew you would,” Adrien said, and Marinette’s heart fluttered at his soft smile. “How was it?”

She clenched the can of Sprite, desperate to hide her shaking hands.

“It was really good! I learnt so much.” She forced herself to smile.

Adrien’s smile faltered.

And Marinette wanted to laugh at the bitterness thrumming through her. Even after all these years, he could see right through her.

“Hey, did Alya tell you she’s got an internship with Le Monde ?” she then said quickly.

Pain flashed behind Adrien’s eyes, so quick she barely saw it. “No?” He turned to Alya, incredulous. “That’s amazing!”

Marinette scowled at the Sprite can and flipped it in her hands, pointedly ignoring Alya and Nino’s questioning glances. Unease gnawed at her insides; tears burned the back of her eyes. She couldn’t do this.

Seeing him again had been a mistake.

With a burst of anger, she ripped the can open, intending to take a huge gulp to drown the bitter taste in her mouth. However, froth exploded from the top, fizzing everywhere. She yelped, threw the can in her panic, and splashed it all over Alya.

There was a moment of stunned silence as Alya took in what had happened, gazing down at her sticky, sodden clothes. She looked up; Marinette squeaked.

“I’m so sorry!” she exclaimed, hands at her mouth, “I didn’t realise it was shaken and it took me by surprise andIdidn’tmeantothrowitonyouohmygosh! I’m so sor—” She froze when her friend’s lip curled.

“Nino!” Alya said, a mischievous glint in her eye.

“Got you, babe.”

Marinette squealed and tried to scrabble out the way as Nino went to tip an entire bottle of water over her head. But she was whisked away at the last second and thrown to the side.

Marinette laughed, amazed she was still dry. But when she turned, she saw Nino, empty bottle in his hand, staring wide-eyed at a soaking wet Adrien.

“Ah, shit,” Nino swore under his breath.

For a moment, the only sound was the soft pat-pat of drips running off Adrien onto the blanket. Then he slowly raised his head with a jagged grin on his face.

Nino yelped and ran, but Adrien dove on top of him and forced water down his shirt. However, he’d only emptied half the bottle when Alya, with mock outrage, pulled him off her boyfriend. He laughed and tipped the rest of the bottle over her, quickly regretting it when she splashed him back in the face.

Marinette watched them from the sidelines, smiling at their fun, until suddenly all three rounded on her.

She shrieked with laughter as they showered her in water. But then, spying an opening, she dove and swiped a nearby bottle before spinning and aiming it threateningly at her attackers. Their smiles instantly dropped. Screaming and laughing, they scattered in all directions as Marinette enacted her revenge.

Once the last bottle had been emptied, they all flopped to the ground, chests heaving and scattered laughter ringing out.

Warmth and happiness thrummed through Marinette as she wrung out her dress and then leant back to gaze at the sky, smiling at the fluffy clouds that had decided to drift over. Her only regret was not drinking some water before it’d gotten weaponised; her headache was still there, and her throat was getting dry.

Adrien, too, leant back, placing his hands so close to hers they almost touched. He then rolled his head back and gazed at her with his soft, lazy smile.

Her heart clenched. Then, ever so slowly, she relaxed her shoulders and returned his smile with a soft one of her own. Adrien sucked in his breath; his eyes shone with hope. And Marinette’s breath caught in her throat as the tension began to evaporate between them, disappearing up into the clouds like the water.

“I’ve missed this,” Nino said. “Just the four of us, like old times.”

Adrien froze. Marinette stiffened. The tension came crashing back. She pulled her hand away from his and curled in on herself, cold seeping under her skin despite the heat.

Alya flopped onto her back. “You know what I miss?” she said, reaching for the sky, “Ladybug and Chat Noir.” Marinette tensed. “Like after Gabriel got put away—which I’m so sorry about, Adrien—they just vanished. Poof! Right into thin air.” Her fingers trailed the sky. “Like what happened to them? Where are they now? What are they doing?” Marinette felt Adrien’s gaze on her, but when she looked at him, he was staring with glazed eyes at the grass. Alya’s hand flopped to the ground. “I hope they’re okay.”

Regret simmered within Marinette as Adrien slowly raised his eyes to meet her’s, pain shining so clear it pierced her heart.

“I hope so too,” he said quietly.

Marinette clenched her jaw. She turned away. She closed her eyes and tried not to grimace, fighting the tears that stung her eyelids.

For she wanted to be okay. She wanted them both to be okay. She opened her eyes and slowly exhaled. But they weren’t.

“Ice-cream!” Alya suddenly exclaimed making Marinette jump. “I want ice-cream! Nino, come with!” She leapt to her feet and tugged her yelping boyfriend.

Panic flared in Marinette’s gut. “Wait, Alya, no!” She didn’t want to be left with Adrien.

Alya swooped in. “You need to fix whatever this is,” she hissed in her ear, glancing at Adrien, before pulling back and running off with Nino in tow.

“W-wait!” Marinette spluttered. “No, Alya!”

Alya gave a wave of her hand as Nino glanced back and shrugged helplessly.

“They didn’t even take our order,” Adrien noted, eyes glittering with amusement as he watched their friends disappear before turning to her. Marinette stared. His grin widened. And that image of Chat Noir slammed into her mind; of that smile he used to give her, high up on the Eiffel tower …

She scrambled to her feet and clutched her middle; confusion and nausea swirled within her.

“Marinette?”

She gritted her teeth and turned away as Adrien got up and stepped towards her.

“M’Lady?” he asked softly, reaching out.

“Don’t call me that!” she hissed. Adrien flinched and snatched his hand back. “You lost that privilege the day you left.”

She wrapped her arms around herself as Adrien tightened his jaw.

“We were seventeen, Marinette. I had no choice as to whether I could stay or not.”

Rage blossomed within her. “You could have told me!” she yelled, whipping around, hair flying. “You could’ve at least said goodbye! Instead, I got told by Nino, by Nino , that you’d gone and moved to London!”

Adrien drew in on himself and averted his eyes.

“You abandoned Paris,” she continued, a lump rising in her throat. “You abandoned me .” Her voice cracked. She took a shuddering breath to quell her emotions, but the air was so hot that it stirred them instead.

Adrien swallowed and shook his head as pain rose on his face. “It was all too much,” he whispered, voice hoarse with memories. “You were Ladybug. And Dad was—” he blanched, “and then Mum …”

Guilt stabbed Marinette in the gut as Adrien’s eyes glazed over; she didn’t want to send him back to those days.

“I thought of you every day,” Adrien said quietly.

“Then why didn’t you call?”

“I—” Adrien choked, “I didn’t know what to say.”

Marinette’s blood boiled, her headache pounded between her eyes. “Anything!” she yelled, her throat raw and burning. “Anything would have been better than five years of silence!”

“I know! I KNOW!” Adrien cried with frustration. “Okay, I KNOW , but I couldn’t .”

“What the hell does that mean?” Her hands shook and vision blurred.

He grabbed his hair in distress. “I just couldn’t , alright!”

“No!” she screamed, “ I don’t understa —”

“HE WAS HAWK MOTH !” Adrien roared, stunning her into silence. “MY FATHER WAS A TERRORIST WHO TRIED TO BRING BACK MY MOTHER AND DESTROYED ALL OF PARIS TO DO SO!”

Adrien’s chest heaved, tears shimmered in his eyes. And Marinette stared, her own chest growing tight.

“I know,” she whispered, voice hoarse and aching, “That’s why I—”

“I lived with him, Marinette!” His words glimmered with pain. “I lived with him my whole life, and I had no idea. I should’ve known!” Hysteria rose within him. “I should’ve known !”

“No, that’s not …” She tried to speak, but her tongue was heavy in her mouth. “You can’t—” Her breathing quickened.

“He hurt you!” Adrien continued, voice cracking with pain, “He hurt everyone. I hurt everyone.” He shook his head and covered his mouth, tears spilling down his cheeks as those dark days returned with a vengeance. “How could you love me after that?”

Marinette blinked back the blinding sun; her vision started swimming. “Adrien, you’re—” she faltered, “you were my partner.” Tears burned her eyes, but they wouldn’t spill over. “My best friend!” She felt faint and lightheaded. “You know I—” She shook her head. “I—” She tried to take a step forward, but the world spun around her.

Adrien lowered his hands, eyes wide with panic. “Marinette?” His voice sounded distant.

She clutched her head as her headache exploded. Adrien’s mouth moved, but no sound hit her ears.

She staggered. The world tilted.

Everything went black.

~~~

Marinette groaned. She opened her eyes, squinting at the sunshine before focusing on the two pairs of golden-brown eyes above her.

“Oh, thank God. You okay, girl?”

Marinette grimaced and pushed herself to a sitting position, leaning back against the tree she was under.

“What happened?” she said, voice dry and raspy.

“You fainted, dude,” Nino said, “But you were out for like a minute, max.”

“We got back just in time to see Adrien catch you. Then he carried you here, to the shade.” Alya gave her a small smile.

Marinette looked around as Nino and Alya’s words sank in, eyeing the four ice-creams lying face down in the dirt. She then looked back at the brown eyes in front of her and realised what was missing.

“Where’s Adrien?” she cried, panic flaring within her. She tried to get to her feet, pushing back against the hands that were stopping her.

“Chill, Mari! He’s gone to get water. We used all ours in the—” Alya cut off as Adrien appeared behind her. Wide-eyed and flushed with a bottle of water in each hand, he’d clearly run as fast he could.

His face broke with relief when he saw she was awake. He swiftly knelt, uncapped a bottle, and handed it to her.

Marinette sipped, and then gulped down the water, sighing as her headache immediately lessened and energy flooded through her.

“How are you feeling?” Adrien asked softly as she finished the bottle.

“Much better. Thank you,” she replied, just as quiet, and looked up.

The moment hung between them, unresolved emotions bled into the tension, but those green eyes remained ever constant.

In the corner of her vision, she saw Alya tug Nino’s hand—“Come on, let’s give them space.”—and lead him away.

But Marinette just stared into those eyes.

A breeze ruffled Adrien’s shirt. Hairs tickled the back of her neck. Then suddenly the tears fell, thick and fast, down her cheeks; her emotions were finally able to spill over.

Sobs wracked her body. Her breath hitched in her throat. And when Adrien wrapped his arms around her, she wailed into his chest. His own tears dripped onto her shoulders.

“I’m so sorry,” Adrien whispered into her hair, and it was like a shot to the chest.

She pulled back, hands still on his chest. “Don’t say that.” Her voice was deathly quiet. “You don’t—you can’t—” She swallowed the guilt clawing her throat. “A-After Nino told me …” she trailed off, filling with regret, “I-I should have called you too.” Adrien sucked in his breath. “I’m sorry.” Her voice cracked.

Adrien shook his head as fresh tears streamed down his face.

She reached out her hand and gently placed it on his cheek. He leant into her and closed his eyes, and her heart warmed as she gently wiped away his tears with her thumb.

Adrien took her hand in his own and held it in his lap; tingles shot up her spine at his soft, ginger touch.

“What do you say we start again?” he said, his voice quiet. His eyes pierced hers and a small smile tugged at his lips.

Marinette stopped breathing. Tears spilled down her cheeks. She shifted her hand in his grip so her fingers entwined his.

“I’d like that,” she whispered.

#miraculous ladybug #ml #mlb #adrinette #adrienette #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #alya cesaire #nino lahiffe #ml fic #angst #ml angst #angst with a happy ending #my writing #shattered sunshine #ml writer zine #mlwriterzine

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