#leafy’s writing

[avidya-musings]

Struck Too Far

Scaramouche (pre-3.3 Archon Quest) x reader

In which you, a lower-ranking Fatui, sacrifice yourself to save your lover, Scaramouche.

WORD COUNT: 1.2k

cw - angst . character death (reader) . Scaramouche is still Fatui and goes by his Fatui aliases . no comfort . TW; mentions of being shot

Banner art is by Sirwicca on TikTok!

A/N: please note there may be mixed lines between 3rd and 1st person since I had to do a lot of edits (because this was originally a story with an OC in the place of the reader), so forgive me for that, I don’t think I was able to fix it all 😭

It wasn’t supposed to have come to this. That much, Scaramouche was painfully aware of.

You shouldn’t be on the floor, bleeding to death in front of him — and he shouldn’t have even been attacked. You shouldn’t have jumped in the way of the arrow meant to hit him. And yet, with a smile; innocent expression, you had gladly taken the attack in his place.

“You idiot..!” Why did he feel something wet on his face? He wasn’t crying. He never cried. “Why.. why did you..” but he can’t bear to finish his sentence. If he did, then that would mean this was real. 

He would never let it be real.  He couldn’t.

Not for his sake, but for the sake of the bloodstained person laying in front of him.. you, his lover. His light. A hand on his cheek snaps him out of his thoughts. He meets your soft eyes with his own cold, anguished expression. “Better me than you,” you tell him, “the others need you, Scara. But they don’t need me.” “You’re wrong!” His voice was strained, on the edge of a hurt scream mixed with a sob. “You’re wrong, y/n, they- I-“

“‘Kuzushi.” 

Scaramouche froze. 

You never use that name with him, not unless you absolutely have to.  And it was then that it dawned on him, all too late, that there wouldn’t be any possible way to save you - why else were you calling him by his true name now?

“Kuzushi. You always told me that I should prove myself.. earn respect in a way that only I can. And for me.. it’s showing my loyalty. That’s how I’ve reached the point I’m at. By proving my loyalty.” You smile weakly, squeezing Scaramouche’s hand. “But.. I’m nothing more than a pawn in the Tsaritsa’s plan - while you are a vital asset.”

Scaramouche wanted to argue against that statement, so badly. But he also knew you were right. His life played a huge role in the Tsaritsa’s plans.  And the plain, ugly truth was that while his life was valuable to the Cryo Archon, your own life meant next to nothing to the Tsaritsa.

So instead of arguing, or yelling, he let himself sit there, numb, as he holds you in his arms while you speak - praying that there would be more time.. that he could have more time with you. It was selfish, but it was all he wanted, now, in this moment. Oh, how he regretted all the times he had pushed you away when he was in his moods. 

Time was cruel, and death was, too. 

You take in a breath, struggling now, “So, if me giving up my life means you.. you can continue to carve your legacy, then.. I don’t think I mind.” “You’re a fool, y/n.. you’re such a fool!” Scaramouche wants to yell at you so badly, call you an idiot for taking the attack meant for him, but he knows it won’t matter. 

You had always been stubborn since the day the both of you met.

“That makes you a bigger fool, then, my Balladeer..” you chuckle weakly, your life ebbing away from you, “you knew it would be this way. I always told you.. that I would give my own life to see yours through, if it came to that..” “Stop it-“ “You know I can’t..” even now, you have that soft, innocent look in your gaze. How could you act like everything would be fine when you were dying? 

He breathes in sharply, “just stop, y/n, please- just STOP!” He hates feeling that he is showing weakness, and he hates feeling vulnerable, but knowing that he is losing his partner is something he hates even more. “Please.. we have time-“

You only shake your head, “no, Kuzushi.. it hurts..”

Scaramouche lowers his head, his breath hitching in his throat. Why you? Why not some useless agent or a dispensable mage - not his lover. Not you. Not now, not when he had so much more he’d left unsaid. Again, he feels your hand on his cheek, and he looks down, his eyes softening. Something they only did for you, and you alone. “I.. I love you so much, Kuzushi-“ you cough, smiling again. That smile that Scaramouche knows he won’t see again once you’re gone. The thought makes his stomach turn. Again, he wishes his denial could be the truth, and at the same time he knows it never will be. 

The painful thing about denial is that it seldom ever becomes truth. Shaking his mind clear for the moment, he touches his forehead to yours, exhaling slowly, “I love you too, amaimono.. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel otherwise.. and I’m sorry I can’t save you-“ 

You silence him with a gentle hand gripping his - your strength is fading, and he knows it’s only a matter of moments before you, his partner, will leave his side in the mortal realm. 

Scaramouche wants to tell you everything he never could bring himself to before. That your smile always made him feel safe and wanted; that your touch always brightened even his darkest days. But there wasn’t time left.

“You never did. I knew you well enough to k-know you never meant anything harsh you m-may have said..” you smile again.

And Archons, how Scaramouche hates himself, for never finding the time to apologize properly for the times he’d lashed out; to thank you for staying by his side, even when he’d take his anger out on you or hurt you with his words. He finally breaks down; the wetness on his face could only be tears and nothing else. And he lets them fall. He could care less if an agent saw him, or if another Harbinger were to berate him; fuck it all, he doesn’t care anymore. 

You are the only thing that matters now, and he continues to tell himself this - to keep talking to you before he can’t anymore, lest he regret it if he doesn’t.

“Y/n, please, I-“ he sighs, a ragged, shuddering breath as his tears still fall, even now, “I can’t do this without you.” “You did it once, my love, even when I wasn’t there..” you whisper, pulling Scaramouche’s head closer to your own with your quickly fading strength.

Your lips then ghost against Scaramouche’s, faint, desperate, but unsure.

“I’ve always had faith in you, my storm, b-because I know you’ll do amazing.. even w-without me..” your words are barely a whisper, chest heaving - you’re tired, and you’re too far gone.  Your body falls limp before you can even take another breath, and Scaramouche turns away, his eyes screwed shut. You’re gone. Y/n, his y/n, isn’t with him anymore. 

It stings, an eerie feeling; though loss was something Scaramouche knew well, now he is sure he wouldn’t forget how it felt. First had come the three betrayals, and though he knows that it was beyond your control, that you were only mortal, he still feels as though your death was yet another one. Death truly is the cruelest master, Scaramouche thinks to himself as he finally lets down his guard, sobbing over your still body. 

If only it could’ve taken him instead.

[mao-likes-2-draw]

[mapled-penitentiary]

thinking about them again (icemav 86)

hey babe wake up. top gun. watched a video about queer villany and oohuhhhhhhhhgllglggggg.ggg.

ice is, in the very since of the word, the perfect antagonist- hes rude, stuck up but in an obvious way, hes directly against everything maverick does while maverick is the hero (he has the same problems as ice though.) ice fits into the norm but at the same time we are only shown mavs perspective which is inherently different than almost all the aviators

you could argue "wow ice is evil" and like sure but its refreshing to see someone whos not entirely bad but rather misguided- we know icemans character is like this because of his father (ty val kilmer for this btw) , and hes trying hard to fit into a world that will never accept him. and that. honestly doesn't make him awful. even in arguably his worst times he still comes back, hes not an irredeemable character, nor is maverick.

they are such opposites that we never know whats the real "true" standard - mavericks not standard on being an outsider but iceman isnt either on being a hater with maverick

also funnily enough, iceman is one of the only charachters to actually have a big problem with maverick! slider, wolf, wood, sunny, etc etc dont shit talk him. but ice is constantly pushing back against those standards because maverick represents the wrongdoing to him.

DEAR G-D ICEMAN PLEASE STOP WITH YOUR INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA AND KISS HIM ALREADY!!!!!

however as he grows up he recognises those actions- at the end of the movie he doesnt see maverick as bad. he sees him as good, and promises that hell be there. MWAH eating this redemption arc UP.

and while maybe ice still has skills that have to be worked on its not entirely evil- and connecting back to the queer thing, to show a charachter who looks evil but also is capable of growing and changing and not being evil just for being gay

maverick is more accepting of his identity but yet they still falter but they can still pick each other back up

i hate these gay bitches so much its actually sickening someone please sedate me .

[mallywarez]

[leafington]

every time i see that scene of nanami at the beach enjoying his last moments a fairy loses it's wings, dies, and gets eaten by sukuna. STOP GIVING ME SAD NANAMI.

[leafy-mints]

Jujutsu Kaisen Theatre AU Headcanons

Satoru Gojo

head director!

the drama teacher.

has his bfa & does some acting at the community theatre.

loves the stage & wants to share that with the future generations so he became a drama teacher.

definitely the type to post callback lists & cast lists LATE ASF 😒.

Suguru Geto

co-director & choreographer!

gojo's assistant some days.

doesn't work at the school, but he does pop by often to help gojo out.

got a minor in dance cause he was bored, but he lowkey loves it 😭.

always comes to help to choreo for the school's productions.

Kento Nanami

set builder!

gets hired to do most of the set building.

very good in woodworking & really makes set ideas come to life.

Ieiri Shoko

set manager!

an art teacher at the school.

her & toge do pretty much all of the painting & set design.

they do the sketches, run them by gojo, & get to work 🙏🏽.

Yuuji Itadori

actor!

a track athlete that's always wanted to try drama & doesn't get taken seriously at first since he's a jock.

actually does really good & gets a lead.

juggles both extracurriculars, but his heart is honestly more on the stage.

gets incredibly emotional on closing nights.

Megumi Fushiguro

crew member!

doesn't like all the attention from being in the spotlight, but loves all the technical stuff about the stage.

mainly does lights.

an excuse to focus on a certain someone 🌚...

assistant stage manager.

gets a little emotional on closing nights & posts about it a lot.

Nobara Kugisaki

actress!

runs the drama club's instagram account.

a true thespian honestly.

she's loved the theatre since she was young.

she's an incredible actress & has hella stage experience.

does great with any role she's given; she's pretty versatile.

SOBS on closing night, like she cries as soon as the curtains close.

Toge Inumaki & Panda

crew members!

the two most efficient crew members at that.

everyone fears for the productions after they leave.

panda is the head stage manager, so he does a bit of everything.

but mainly curtains & set moving.

toge mainly paints & draws set ideas.

don't get super emotional until their senior show.

they honestly just start planning for the next show/possible shows.

Yuta Okkotsu

actor!

definitely a theatre nerd

he becomes a different person when he preforms & honestly dissociates a little while he's on the stage (real).

a very versatile actor. give him any role & he'll deliver!

he gets so nervous pre-show & auditions though.

not-so-fun-fact: every opening night he either has a panic attack or throws up :(

toge or maki are always there to help him through that though.

Maki Zen'in

actress!

contrary to popular belief, she actually got really into theatre.

mai & her were originally forced into it by their parents, but maki's determination to be better in it than mai oddly made her love it.

she's a very serious actress though & doesn't bullshit AT ALL.

so she gets EXTRA stressed during tech week, anything going wrong just sets her off. it's never pretty 🙁.

[leavesandcurses]

here's a little excerpt from the fic i wrote for the @kghncanonzine, titled 'the mountain is you'!! my humble offering to the zine includes super extra emphasis on kghn's mutual hunger for the game :^)

POs are open until september 10th!! kghn enjoyers we have so much food for u

preorders🔗

shop🔗

[lemonxlimee]

@twig-gy @ohmysheetmetal

tw for normies: evil toxic abusive yuri ooooooooo spooky

“Are you kidding?”

Leafy gasped as she was thrown against the wall.

“Everyone ‘loves’ you?!”

Her back is dragged against it, digging deep scratches into her epidermis. She whines in pain.

“What a laughing stock.”

The larger red leaf holding her shoulder grips tighter, her nails clawed into her skin. Bits of blood ooze out of tiny wounds, and Evil Leafy smirks.

“Even Firey doesn't like you. Imagine thinking anyone would.”

Leafy chokes out a sob, struggling to breathe as she's pressed against the metal behind her. Evil Leafy chuckles lowly, lifting Leafy up a little to look her in the eye.

“Nobody will ever love you, Leafster,” she taunts. “Except for one. The only one who will ever love you properly. The one who protects you, the one who knows you best. The one you hate the most.”

Leafy opens her eyes as wide as she can, which isn't much given how tightly she's been holding them closed.

“…Who's that?” She mutters, knowing the answer. She doesn't want to hear it. Evil Leafy knows she doesn't want to hear it. She speaks anyway.

“Me.”

[leafyloveslaughing]

[qrowscant]

love love love your work. how do you manage to finish/commit to projects long term? i feel like all my attempts fizzle out

blehhhh idk. for me, its:

having friends to yap to about ideas (that i can then pick through and refine)

not being afraid to experiment/try new things (because otherwise i will get bored)

setting reasonable deadlines/expectations for myself (that i don't always make, but always motivate me to try my best to do so)

taking breaks to experience other art for inspiration/a palette cleanser

actually fucking writing/coding/drawing haha (hard)

making stuff is kind of like a muscle, it gets easier the more consistently you do it. there are going to be times where you hate what you make, or times where you need to redo a bunch of stuff. part of the process (for meeee) is just accepting that and then learning from it, instead of letting it demoralize you.

start with small projects first before tackling anything crazy. short fiction is beautiful and more people need to write it. not everything needs to be a magnum opus, just try to learn something from what you make! poorly done art is still art! somebody will likely still find something about it worth loving, even if you hate your malformed creation. (i know i hate mine!)

(also, if you have a good idea but dont have the means to accomplish it, shelve it. you'll unearth it in the future when you are better equipped for it, i promise)

[nothing-to-see-around-here]

I got an Villian!Techno/Hero!Philza AU idea, i dunno if it is original but I haven't seen something similar yet.

Basically, Hero Phil who is a rightful person and a full-on patriot of his nation slowly realizes what a shitty place it is after villian Techno, who is a pigman mutant, talks to him about how he was a normal human but he was turned into this because of experiments done to him by the government instead of being born like that. Philza was also experimented on but they erased his memory, Technoblade killed them and escaped before they erased his.

This sounds so angsty but I just wanted an AU to make Techno a BSMF and change the roles a bit to make him the flirty one instead.

[mao-likes-2-draw]

[mapled-penitentiary]

back with more. more thoughts. i am not immune to gay people thoughts. for the bg here: hc that ice speaks fluently in russian and polish, as well as a couple other primarily slavic languages. ice was well aware of his husbands stupid ideas. usually, they surrounded flying and ideas in the sky. once in a while, it would be something about the house, like making a cat door or trying to diy a lazy susan. this one however, was one that iceman had not seen coming. it took him until one tuesday morning, when mav had presumably forgotten ice was off that day. walking down the stairs, a cup of coffee in hand, he was met with the sound of the worst pronunciation of russian words he had ever heard. his husbands accent was creeping into words, the R's sounded dusty, and if ice didnt know the language, he would have just assumed maverick was vomiting. but here he was, sitting on the barstool in all of his stupid glory. a couple textbooks were strewn over the counter, and a whiteboard was nestled under one, a half-erased word showing. the dedication maverick seemed to have to the language was.. outstanding. as he crept down the rest of the flight of stairs, his smile grew wider. the books were actual russian books, ones that taught in russian and weren't americanized versions of it. it was the russian he had learned at home, all those years ago. he tried to sputter something in appreciation, but mav jumped up as when he heard him. he slammed the book shut, and looked at ice with blush spreading on his face. "oops."

ice just laughed, and wrapped his husband in a hug, the warmth from his body a welcoming feeling.

"Я тебя люблю, пилот." [I love you, pilot.]

[sstarpopp]

hi bfdi fans many others and i made a fanfiction of firey x the nugget from max design pro and leafy x pillow in a youtube comment section you should read it

[leafington]

yall im watching windbreaker... and hear me out on hajime yall...

[akioukun]

hi aki!! i felt very much inspired by your seasons au for harringrove earlier today so i wrote this little piece and i'd love for you to have it! i hope you like it!! thank you for always creating the most beautiful artwork, you continue to take my breath away!!

The new summer arrives with a burning promise for Steve.

Golden skin laced with molten sunlight, eyes as blue as the ocean, a voice reminiscent of waves crashing on a shore. This summer isn’t to be like the last, Steve knows.

They come together for the first time and produce the dew of an early morning, with damp grass and misty rain. Steve brings gentle song birds and Billy’s slow to wake, lulled to an easy slumber by their songs, not eager to rouse the heat of the day.

They work well enough but there’s something else hidden under the surface, hidden from sight, kept away.

It comes as no surprise that Billy’s hotter than a wildfire; just as unpredictable and uncontrollable. A temper that is unmatched, burning so brightly it’s no wonder Icarus fell from the sky if it were Billy’s heat that melted those wings.

Steve feels like that around Billy — like he’s in a free fall. Nothing to steady him, nothing to catch. No earth to dig his fingers into, no use in begging for help.

But, he likes it that way. Prefers it. Because Billy burns brighter than the sun but he warms Steve, makes him grow, makes flowers bloom in his chest where they shouldn’t. And he tends to them in secret, pretends that it isn’t Billy’s kisses that waters them and it’s not his smile that makes Steve’s world greener.

Because it’s forbidden. It’s not wise. They know better, they do. They shouldn’t get attached because seasons are fickle. They will leave whenever they want without warning.

But, a new summer loves the earth. And Steve’s willing to try.

HEY HI HELLO BAMBI HIHI

Um. Oh my god? I have no words? Actually I do FIRSTLY you are an absolute sweetheart and I am melting into a puddle at your kind words, I have so much love for the people that enjoy what I do because that by extension means my love for what I do is hopefully coming through. A big feedback loop of love is what it is and it means sososososooooo much to me that you put time and your energy into WRITING THIS INCREDIBLE MASTERPIECE???

I am. So in love with the way you use words and language, like I am actually going to implode that you wrote this. This is so poetic, so EXACT in its tone about how these two collide and and and that bit about flowers blooming in Steves chest where there is usually sleep and the slow slip into decay is SO BEAUTIFUL AND WHEN I READ IT I NEARLY THREW MY PHONE D O W N THE STAIRS. I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO KEEP AND USE IT IN THIS AU. I had tiny bits of like, more moss growing on Steve from Billys proximity in one of my attempts to write, but this…this is something else entirely more impactful and I am just, basically howling at the fact you would write this

My heart is so full, I adore you and your writing so much, thank you thank you THANK YOU for creating such a gorgeous piece I’m treasuring it forever 🖤🖤🖤