#leave it to you to make him so annoyingly lovable

[isabeauwolf]

Dabi x Mary: "I'm glad that you were born"

"Look at me, Touya," Mary gently cupped her hands against Dabi's scared, burned cheeks. "I don't care what that bastard thinks. You are not a failure. No one is perfect, no one. We all have flaws and insecurities because that's what makes people human and frail."

He ignored her, chose to look outside the window instead of meeting her patiently, waiting eyes. Knowing that if he did. He would crack underneath her gently and understanding mismatched gems he loved so much.

"Touya, please, look at me," Mary tried again, whispering as tears burned, stinging her eyes, ears flat against her head. She turns his head down to meet her gaze, it hurt to see his beautiful ocean blues so lifeless and vacant, without of her reach. "You are not useless or worthless. You've cared too much and got burned for it."

She was crying for him?

No. Don't fall for her tears, don't offer her comfort. Bawling his fists at his sides, his knuckles turning white, don't look, don't move, she will give up and leave. It took everything in him not to scoop her into his arms, into his chest, kissing her tears away and apologizing, say anything until her tears dried and she turned into the sappy, happy, annoyingly lovable ball of energy and sunshine. Hold dammit!

Licking her dry lips as she continued, noticing the change in his body language as his hands twitched, the settle turn of his head in her palms, he had to know her true feelings, "I'm glad that you were born. You are here with me, by my side as my mate. My Touya is handsome despite these scars and burns, and I won't ask you to change who you are." She gave him a smile, despite her tears, clear distress, and worries.

Dabi's eyes refocused and widened at her words, turquoise irsis' staring down at tear-filled, wet violet and gold. "Do you mean it, beauty?" He whispered, voice cracking.

"Yes," She whispered, smile widening as she sniffed.

Reaching out, he wiped her stray tears again, more feel in it's place. "Say it again."

"I'm glad that you were born." She repeated without hesitation, "I thank the moon goddess everyday that you were born, Touya. For sending you to me that night we first met."

His breath hitched, her words cutting him deeply, straight into his still beating, blackened, burnt and frail heart. He swallowed thickly, mouth and throat dry, he felt his bottom lip quiver, breath growing labored; he couldn't breath, its as if his lungs stopped working. His chest ached and throbbed, heartbeat echoing loud in his ears, as he gasped for air, bloody tears welling up in the corner of his burnt tear ducts and falling.

"It's okay to cry when you are hurting, when you are sad, angry, let it go, my darling." Mary wasn't disgusted or didn't pull away. "Let me shoulder your burdens, your worries, your fears, your dreams, everything." She pulled him back into her chest, he quickly nuzzled and burred his head against her warmth, openly and quietly sobbing as she rubbed his back and ran her fingers through his inky black tresses. "Let it out. Scream, cry, wail, I wont judge you. Let it out."

Dabi wrapped his arms around her, clinging to her for comfort, his last lifeline and sanity; digging his fingers into the back of her shirt.

Mary nuzzled her head against the side of his, closing her eyes and crying along with him.

"Thank... you.... Mary..." He whimpered, shoulders shaking, shuddering, and trembling in her arms.

Mary decided then and there, that she would never forgive Endeavor. She didn't care, if the man was her father-in-law now. She didn't care that the man was currently Japan's Number Two Hero, didn't care if, the poor excuse of a man eventually got his wish and become number one. Hurting his family, his wife, his children for the sake of his pride, arrogance, greed and need to surpass All Might?

It made her grit her teeth, anger burned hot in her veins as she held her Touya, biting back and swallowing the snarling growl trapped in her throat. If she ever ran into that man, she would be civil, but if he tried anything, she would make sure to bite him, dig her claws into his flesh, she wasn't going down without a fight.

Now, there were two men she had to protect her family from.

All For One, and Enji Todoroki, Endeavor.

Mary blinked back angry tears as she forced herself to take a deep breath, it wasn't about her, it was about Touya and comforting him. Closing her eyes and holding him tighter, she swallowed her negative emotions for now and focused on humming a song.

She kisses the side of his head.

He sinks into the embrace, trying to remember the last time anyone held him like this aside from his mother, his mind goes blank. Closing his eyes, loving how she clings to him like she never wants to let go, and he never wants her to.

Pressing his weight fulling into her, pushing them down, she lets him and giggles lean back until they are flat against the bed, her legs spread and welcoming as he turned his head, listening to her heartbeat, thudding hard and fasts underneath her rib cage.

He sniffs and chuckles, teasing, "My wolf has turned into a rabbit." His voice was deep, rough and raw from crying his heart out.

"I would say the same about you," She fired back, blushing and wiping her eyes. "My monster turned into a puddle of mush." Smiling as he sits up, leaning on his forearms, a noticeable pinkish hue on his own cheeks. "Nothing like a good cry every once in a while, hmm?"

"I'm not crying, I hit my head." He muttered, growing more flustered as he pouted cutely. Okay, that sounded like total crap, even to him. "Dammit, beauty. You've made me all soft n' shit." He grumbles, reburying his heated face into her chest and shirt, "I blame you."

"Sure, whatever you say, pyro," Mary chuckles, running her fingers gently through his hair, rolling her eyes. "Don't worry, your secrets are save with me."

"It better," he replied, voice muffled. Peaking from his hiding spot, watching as she tilted her head, waiting, patiently and curious, tail wagging lazily against his stomach, tickling him. The odd sensation made his snort and choke back a laugh, fuck, that tickles, oh no, she's noticed. "Pff, dammit, stop, pff, it-"

Quirking at eyebrow as her smile curls into a smirk, "Stop what?" Tail swishing back and forth, brushing against his abdomen on purpose this time, watching at his face morphs between mopey, shocked and surprised to down right biting his lip, fingers clutching the sheets to try and not laugh.

"Stop-" He tried again, but she cut him off, hooking her legs around him and flipping them over. "It," he grunted, blinking and staring up at the woman now above him, straddling him and pinning his arms to his sides. "The fuck are you doing?" Dabi panted, trying to regain his breathing, eyes narrowing playfully, smirking. "If you wanted me on my back, so badly all you had to do was ask nicely, baby."

"Where's the fun in that?" Mary giggled, tail swishing back and forth like a cat waiting to pounce, her thumbs rubbing patterns on his forearms, mismatched orbs trailing from his face down to his scared and burnt abdomen.

He quickly caught on and quickly opened his mouth to protest, "No, don't you da-"

Too late.

She attacked, releasing his arms to tickle his weak spot, "Gotcha!"

"Hey!" He laughed, barking and cackling, squirming and trying to move away, "Ah, fuck! That's not fair," buckling his hips to try and shove her off, but she retaliated, wrapping her legs, around his waist and lock him against her. grabbing her wrists to try and shove her off.

"Awe," she cooed, tickling a few more times and stopped, "there's my casanova, smiling so pretty for me."

"Curse you're stupidly inhuman strength," he grumbled and scoffed, a hint of a smile curving his scared lips. "Fine, fine." He relaxed and leaned against her pillows that smelled like her. "You win this round, my beauty, but don't think I'll let you win next time."

Mary giggled, laying down and cuddling against his chest, smiling. "Anytime, loser."

He chuckled, voice rumbling beneath her. "You're the loser, bookworm."

She could hear the smile in his teasing tone as her eyes grew heavy, humming, nuzzling her head and yawned. "Letting out all those pent up emotions is exhausting," muttering out loud, and adding, "but worth it. It's not good to bottle it up."

Dabi wrapped his arms around her lower back and the other, running his fingers in her soft, silver-white locks. "Get some sleep, I'll be here." Tightening his hold and getting more comfortable, his breath fanning her ears and his scent filling her lungs with the sweet smell of burnt caramel, masculine and all him.

"Night, Touya," Mary mumbled, hand gripping his shirt, dozing off and whispering faintly, "I love you."

Dabi's turquoise eyes widened as his body tensed, then relaxed. His small smile, widened as he tried to calm his racing heart, thudding wildly and his stomach flipped, feeling giddy and sappy, blush spreading across his heated cheek.

He laid their sorting out his thoughts. Listening to her light breathing, feeling the rise and fall of her chest as his mind took in her words from earlier.

She was glad that he was born, thankful even. She didn't think he was a failure, a fuck-up, found his scars and burns attractive and wasn't scared of him, she's never been, not even the day they met. Anyone else would have been terrified, judging him on his scars and appearances, but not her.

She even cried for him, the thought alone made his chest ache and throb again, just as bad as her claiming mark had been on the night of their first night together.

He bit his lip and rubbed his face with the back of his hand and sighed, "Night, beauty."

Dabi felt stupid, but perhaps being tied together with this woman he adored wasn't so bad? He fell asleep, holding her tighter against him, that night, he didn't dream of fire, the past and the pain; instead, he saw his cute wolfish beauty's smiling face.

==========

@fanofflames @slayfics @angelblueflame @nikki152006 @i-need-chisaki-redemption-arc @chainslobber @chisvki @xxchisakislittleangelxx @x-kiwi-03 @fabled-lady-twilla @madamebloodmoon @cherry-queens-blog @fairymama624 @booksooks @doumadono @meeludrawz @lura-valentine

[nutal]

got anooooooooother ask >:)

what do u think Adam and Lute's relationship was like at first? (like enemies to lovers or friend to lovers thing, pretty much anything xdddd)

I’ve thought about this idea a lot and honestly it could go a lot of different ways

I highly doubt they’d ever be enemies, after all, she is his lieutenant. I do think Lute would probably be pretty irritated with him at first because of how sluggish he is n shit but admittedly overtime… it becomes annoyingly lovable coupled with having to keep scolding him for stupid crap.

But anyways, onto the actual question, I actually do quite like the idea of them having a “no-strings attached” FWB type situation for a really long time until one night either an “i love you” slips out and or they realize how much aftercare has become a thing for them also making them realize how subconsciously attached theyve gotten to each other and then they both just spontaneously realize like “…wait… do i actually like… have feelings… for you…” and they realize they just never wanna leave the other’s arms or pull themselves apart they find themselves genuinely harboring these romantic feelings that they both vowed not to catch and then its just like “well shit!” RHDGEJGSHSGS

But on the flipside, i also very much do see simply a friends to lovers situation going on, adam falls first, she falls harder LMAOO

in both cases lute would slightly more paranoid about the whole relationship because of the stigma of dating your boss and so she tries to keep it on the low due to both that and sort of wanting the details to be kept special between them meanwhile adam is trying not to brag to absolutely EVERYBODY about his smoking hot lieutenant girlfriend because he just cannot keep his mouth shut abt how much he adores her LOL <33

[your-local-hoemie]

Can i request mordern chilhood friends to lovers with anyone you want ><

I AM BACK BAYBEEEEE!!!

Sorry this took so long and that it’s so short! I’ve been dying!! I decided to go for Scara if that’s ok! I’ve been having intense brain rot over him and figured this was perfect for it! Also sorry for the bad ending hdjchfei, it was a little rushed at the end but I did my best!

Warnings: fluff, bad plot progression jfjdkdjxk, swearing, gn!reader, not proof-read.

Characters: scaramouche (wanderer).

Sitting at the edge of your bed, head in your hands while groaning like a dying puppy- you threw another crumpled up ball of paper across the room in frustration.

You had spent the last 4 hours of your night torturing yourself by trying to write a confession letter.

Whom to? Well none other than your childhood friend, scaramouche.

A childhood friend with the personality of a angsty 14 year old mixed with a tongue sharper than the sharpest sword in history.

A strange name yes, but it’s one of many that he’s decided to go by throughout his lifetime.

So all in all; he’s absolutely insufferable.

So why is it you’re writing a confession to him?

It all started years ago when scara’s mother decided to focus all her attention on taking over her sisters business after it was left in her hands, leaving Scara to fend for himself until his aunt, Nahida, decided to do the unthinkable and take the little brat in.

You happened to be working as an assistant in her flower shop when she introduced the purple haired gremlin to you.

At first he was extremely quiet and distant- only saying words of irritation or the occasional curses under his breath when customers got particularly irritating.

Then after a few months of awkwardly trying to start conversations with him and facing his wrath whenever you happened to arrange a bouquet in the wrong order, you decided to give up completely and just not talk to him at all.

That was until he suddenly decided that your pestering, that was now part of him daily routine, wasn’t all that bad then ever so kindly called you a idiot and decided to make you continue your confused efforts in friendship without fail.

After that, you could say that you both somehow grew pretty close.

Growing up together, attending the same school and eventually even becoming roommates in a small apartment.

Everything seemed absolutely perfect.

That was until one of your friends happened to ask that stupid question.

“So are you two dating yet or what?”

Curse them.

Of course you’re not dating! Why would you be dating?

He’s just a friend? Sure you’re the only one he’d willingly talk to.

Yes you’re the only one who was allowed to hug him or tease without getting your head immediately snapped off by his own two hands.

Well fuck.

After weeks of overthinking and ripping your hair out while obsessing over those stupid words, trying desperately to convince yourself you two are the least compatible people alive but somehow managing to find the pro’s to all of the cons.

Which is where we are now-

Sighing, you buried your face into your pillow before a sudden knock on the door startled you.

“You haven’t left your room all day, dumbass. Open up”

It was him. The annoyingly pretty, infuriatingly insufferable, lovable brat.

“Go away! I’m busy and I don’t need your annoying ass distracting me any more than what you already are!”

“M’hm, see I don’t really care”

Before you could even react, he twisted the doorknob opening the door before stepping inside.

He silently stood there, taking in the sight of the papers scattered across the floor then over at you, slumped over yourself on your bed in embarrassment and frustration.

“The fuck happened to you? Don’t tell me you’re having another breakdown over Professor Zhongli’s test’s”

Reaching down for one of the crumpled up papers, you immediately shot up off your bed in a futile attempt to stop him from reading what was probably the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened in your life, other than that one time you accidentally called Venti “miss” the first time you met, which does still haunt your mind on a daily basis.

“W-wait! No it’s ok, it’s not important! Please just leave it there-”

“Sh, I’m reading”

Scara glanced at you with a sly grin that really was the visual embodiment of “go suck my dick, I’ll do what I want”

A few moments of reading silence pass by with you now sinking deeper into yourself, begging to somehow shrivel up and disappear.

“Is this true?”

Scara stood near the foot of your bed, glancing up at you with one eyebrow raised in a mix of amusement and disbelief.

“It… it is. I’m sorry, I told you to leave it alone and it’s so stupid, I just thought maybe writing a letter would do something but-”

Before you could finish your sentence, Scara politely interrupted you, once again, then karate chopped your head just soft enough that it didn’t managed to kill you on impact.

“I… I don’t think you’re as stupid as everyone else either”

“Is that- you feel the same way??”

“Tch, just don’t think this means I’m getting soft or I will kill you without hesitation”

“None at all?”

Looking up at him with a small, smug grin, you could easily see the slight dusting of pink appearing on his usually porcelain coloured cheeks.

“Maybe just a little…”

Guys I’m getting better!!! If my recovery keeps going on the way it is I should have the all clear by next week!!! I feel bad for this taking time away from my writing but I got a bunch of ideas built up from being stuck in bed which I will feed ya’ll with.

[novelswithariana]

🌸 ARIANA'S BOOK REVIEW 🌸

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐/5

Genre: Young Adult, Romance, Contemporary, LGBT (Ace Representation)

📚 Synopsis: Now that Wren Martin is student council president (on a technicality, but hey, it counts) he’s going to fix Rapture High. His first order of business: abolish the school’s annual Valentine’s Day Dance, a drain on the school’s resources and general social nightmare—especially when you’re asexual.

His greatest opponent: Leo Reyes, vice president and all-around annoyingly perfect student, who has a solution to Wren’s budget problem. A sponsorship from Buddy, the anonymous “not a dating” app sweeping the nation. Now instead of a dance-less senior year, Wren is in charge of the biggest dance Rapture High has ever seen. He’s even secretly signed up for the app. For research, of course.

But when Wren develops capital F-Feelings for his anonymous match, things spiral out of control. Wren decided a long time ago that dating while asexual wasn’t worth the hassle. With the Dance rapidly approaching, he isn’t sure what will kill him first: the dance, his relationship drama, or the growing realization that Leo’s perfect life might not be so perfect after all.

In an unforgettably quippy and endearingly chaotic voice, narrator Wren Martin explores the complexities of falling in love while asexual.

📝 Review: I recently had the pleasure of diving into the captivating world of "Wren Martin Ruins It All" by Amanda Dewitt, and I must say, it did not disappoint. From the very first page, I was hooked by Dewitt's impeccable storytelling and relatable characters.

In this delightful novel, we follow the journey of Wren Martin, the witty and ambitious student council president of Rapture High. Wren's mission to abolish the infamously dreaded Valentine's Day Dance at his school sets the stage for a series of hilarious mishaps and unexpected romantic entanglements. But "Wren Martin Ruins It All" is so much more than a comedic high school romance.

Dewitt skillfully weaves in the complexities of love, relationships, and the journey of self-discovery. One of the standout aspects of this book is its refreshing portrayal of asexuality. Wren's exploration and acceptance of his identity as an asexual individual is thoughtfully depicted, shedding light on a topic that is often misunderstood or overlooked.

What truly sets "Wren Martin Ruins It All" apart is the authenticity of its characters. Dewitt has created a diverse cast that is brimming with personality and relatability. From the charming Leo, Wren's vice president, to the quirky and lovable members of the student council, each character feels like someone you could know in real life.

The writing style employed by Dewitt is energetic, humorous, and infused with heart. The pacing is spot on, keeping the reader engaged and eagerly turning the pages. Whether it's the witty banter between characters or the tender moments of self-reflection, the prose effortlessly captures the essence of each scene.

At its core, "Wren Martin Ruins It All" is a story about embracing who you truly are, navigating the highs and lows of teenage life, and learning that sometimes, it's okay to let go and allow yourself to be vulnerable. It's a powerful and heartwarming reminder that love takes many forms, and self-discovery is a journey worth embarking on.

Overall, I highly recommend "Wren Martin Ruins It All" to anyone in search of a captivating and relatable read. Amanda Dewitt has crafted a gem of a novel that seamlessly combines humor, romance, and important themes, leaving a lasting impression. Don't miss out on this delightful book that will make you laugh, swoon, and maybe even shed a tear or two.

🔍 Rec: People who have read ‘The Borrow A Boyfriend Club’ (Page Powars), ‘They Hate Each Other’ (Amanda Woody) and ‘Gwen & Art Are Not In Love’ (Lex Croucher) may like this book.

Thank you Amanda DeWitt, Peachtree Teen and Colored Pages Book Tours for this delightful read. All opinions expressed here are purely my own.

🦋 Recommend some books with Ace Representation in the comments.

[bookwyrminspiration]

What do you think of that scene in Exile where Councillor Bronte criticizes Grady for leaving his job as an Emissary and then Sophie ends up agreeing with him (I don’t remember why so maybe find a quote ‘cause I can’t find it rn lol)? Idk but that scene always stuck with me, and I wanted to know your thoughts on it.

Oo yes I love that scene! It serves as a segue into backstory and questions and secrets being revealed to continue the story forward, but also as characterization for Grady; it's so jarring compared to everything else we know about him. He's lovable and loving, supportive, and wants the best for his family and as such his desires generally align with Sophie's. He's sometimes grumpy about boys but relents when Edaline bullies him (/lh) about it.

But then when it comes down to it, he quit being an Emissary and refused to return. Which seemed to contradict his interests. There are a lot of quotes I could pull so I'll just reference the general scene, which starts around pg 113 of Exile. The Council thinks that having Grady assisting in helping track down Sophie's kidnappers would be very useful, so Sophie wants that too. She wants her father's support in this because it's sensitive and personal and frustrating. And based on everything we know about him so far, that seems like exactly the kind of thing he would do and want to do. He's protective of Sophie, so why wouldn't he help track down her kidnappers?

he even goes so far as to say that Silveny could be rehabilitated by the Hekses--something he nor Sophie nor Edaline want as proof of how much he won't budge on being an Emissary. Which shows a much more...adult? Side of Grady, if that makes sense. We see him through Sophie's eyes, and from Sophie's pov he is one of the most caring, loving, and considerate people she's ever met, even if he is annoyingly concerned and protective of her at times. But this conversation? It's not about Sophie, though she is connected to it. This is about Grady and his life and the life he had before Sophie, the life where his daughter burned to death and left him a shell of who he was as he fought against the world insisting it wasn't an accident. This is a conversation between adults--actually an authority figure and someone defying the authority--and it has a different sort of gravity that Grady being the parent we mostly see him as

He changed when Sophie came into his life, but this is--in my opinion--like a glimpse of who he was before, conflicts Sophie wasn't part of and a hardness she hasn't experienced from him. It leaves us (or maybe just me) with a lot of questions about him.

He's so stubborn and uncooperative in that scene, and it's such a direct contrast between Sophie and his desires that leads later to much bigger reveals and family bonding, but in the moment it's shocking and I think that's why it sticks in our minds. This glimpse we get of Grady as a furious, grieving father who refuses to listen to others who has experienced the weight of the world and survived it is so fascinating.

It really stands out, at least to me, so thanks for the topic!

[chrisevansjellybeans]

Ransom x fem!Reader

Warnings: none (yet) some swearing

Part One

You’ve never wanted to punch somebody in the face so bad until you met Ransom Drysdale. The smug, arrogant, jerk-face had been a thorn in your side since grade school. You both grew up in the Boston area, your parents sending you to the same private schools all the way through high school. You had run in similar crowds but no matter how much your mutual friends tried to get the two of you to get along you never could. For good reason though.

Your family owned and operated Cloak and Dagger Publishing, the direct rival of Ransom’s family’s publishing house, Blood Like Wine. Unlike you and Ransom, your families liked to keep the rivalry in business and not in life. Your father, Jackson Y/L/N and Harlan Thrombey were actually great friends who just liked to rib each other when it came to business, but were proud of the other’s success regardless.

But for some reason you and Ransom could never get to that level of friendship. And you weren’t in any rush to fix that.

Especially when he was pulling shit like this.

You groaned as you opened the door to your office only to see the smirking son of a bitch sitting in your chair, feet propped up on the desk and your favorite fountain pen twirling between his fingers.

“Maria, you’re fired.” You joked to your assistant who nervously looked at you from her desk right outside your door.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N! He just-”

“It’s fine. I know.” You sighed before walking fully into your office, letting the door close behind you.

“Good morning, honey.” Ransom’s voice was sickly sweet.

“Is it?” You snapped. You walked around your desk and pushed his feet off. “Get up.”

“You’re not being very kind to your guest, Y/N. What would dear daddy say about your terrible manners?” Ransom teased but stood up nonetheless. You glared up at him as he stood to his full height.

“Guests are usually wanted and invited, Ransom. Neither of which you are.”

“Honey, you hurt me.” Ransom feigned pain as he gripped his chest. You wanted to stomp your expensive Manolo Blahniks on his toes every time he called you that. It started your junior year of high school and maybe if it was anyone else you would have thought it was a term of endearment but he said it in such a condescending tone you knew it was anything but.

“What do you want, Drysdale?” You let out an exasperated breath.

“Is it so hard to believe that I just wanted to visit an old friend?”

“Ransom, please. Unlike some people I actually have work to do.” You moved around him and sat down, pulling out your laptop. You looked up at him as he watched you with intense blue eyes that made your stomach flutter, annoyingly so.

“I’m actually here for business and not pleasure, honey.��� He smirked as he sat down at the chair across from you. “I’m here to formally and personally invite you to Bleeding Hearts.”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. Bleeding Hearts was the Thrombey annual charity gala that they hosted at Harlan’s expansive, hidden mansion. Your parents had been going every year since Harlan first hosted it and you had started going about five years ago. You would never tell Ransom, but you loved Bleeding Hearts. It gave you an excuse to wear a beautiful ball gown-albeit rented-and to feel like a beautiful princess like the ones you had read about growing up. Harlan always hired a full orchestra to play the most beautiful classical pieces throughout the night and it was like stepping into a time machine. You didn’t understand why Ransom had to come all the way down to your office just to invite you to something that you were already going to.

“I’ve already had Maria send in my RSVP and donation, Ransom. So thank you for the courtesy, but it really wasn’t needed.” You rubbed at your temples, a tension headache now forming from all this ‘excitement’ so early in the morning. And before you’ve even had a sip of your coffee.

“I know. And you gave a nice amount this year. Did daddy finally up your monthly allowance?” He smirked.

Just one punch. Just one and then I’ll be satisfied. Technically he’s trespassing, it could be called self defense.

“Goodbye, Ransom.” You blocked him out as you opened your email and began typing away. You got about two sentences out before you felt your laptop being shut against your hands.

“I wasn’t done.” Ransom whispered, you didn’t realize how close he was until you looked up. He was now leaning over your desk, one hand on your laptop and one hand on the edge of the desk closest to you.

“Shame.”

“I’m here to ask if you wanted to come...as my date.” You snorted out a laugh and laughed even harder as a look of annoyance crossed over his face. He stood up and straightened out his shirt almost nervously.

“God, you’re funny. Now please leave. You’ve already wasted so much of my time with this little joke.” You rolled your eyes as you opened your laptop again.

“I wasn’t kidding, Y/N.” His words were sharp and his eyes blazing.

“Neither was I. Get out of my office, Ransom. Or I will call security.” You glared right back at him.

Ransom looked like he was about to say something but decided against it. He tapped his fingers against your desk and gave you a mock salute.

“See ya around, honey.”

“Close the door on your way out.” You muttered.

You clenched your fists as he left your office, leaving your door wide open. You could hear him laughing his ass all the way down the hall.

Damn you, Ransom Drysdale.

“Y/N, I am so sorry. He just kind of walked in.” Maria rushed into your office, almost tripping over her far too high heels.

“Ria, it’s fine. I know how he is.” You waved her off, giving her a sympathetic smile. “Please, don’t worry about it.”

“Okay…” she said nervously. When you gave her another reassuring smile she relaxed her shoulders. “I have to say though, he is really sexy.”

“Maria.” You sighed. “Get out.”

“Sorry.” She squeaked before exiting your office, closing the door fully.

You leaned back in your chair and let out a long breath. How had today already been the longest day and it wasn’t even nine?

“Good afternoon, sweetheart.”

“Good afternoon, dad.” You smiled as your father snuck his way into your office.

You and your dad had always been close. When you were younger he called you his “little shadow” because you loved to follow him around throughout his day. You would sit in on meetings and you loved when he would let you pretend to lead the team briefings in the morning. It was only natural that you would follow in his footsteps and work for Cloak and Dagger.

Your father always pushed you to be your best. He didn’t let you take shortcuts to get where you were today in the company. You worked your way up and proved your worth and made your father proud.

“What’s this I hear of Ransom Drysdale stopping in this morning?” He sat down across from you.

You rolled your eyes. “Because he doesn’t have anything better to do than irritate me.”

Your father laughed as he slid in his glasses up to the top of his head and then pinched the bridge of his nose. “You two have been fighting like cats and dogs since you were kids. Will this feud between the two of you ever end? And can it be soon? I made a bet with Harlan that you two would finally stop by the time you were twenty-five.”

“Glad to see that my torture has been amusement for you and your little buddy.”

“Just teasing, sugar plum.”

“Please, let’s talk about anything else besides Ransom Drysdale. I’m begging you.” You gave him a warning look over the top of your computer.

“Fine by me.” He clapped his hands together and leaned forward. “How’s it going with Brooke Archer? Has she committed to C&D yet?”

Brooke Archer was an upcoming mystery novelist. Critics called her “the Agatha Cristie of our time” and rightfully so. You had read her first two novels and finished them within a day, completely entranced by her style of writing that had you guessing till the end. She was notoriously self-publishing but now that her books were blowing up she had finally made the decision to sign with a major publishing house. And your father had tasked you with landing her.

“I have a lunch meeting with her tomorrow. I think this could be the closing meeting.” You said confidently.

“Good. I’m proud of you, sugar plum.” He tapped his fingers on your desk. “And please text your mother back. She’s freaking out over what to make for dinner tonight.”

Confused, you pulled your phone out of your bag. You sighed when you saw that you had thirteen missed texts from your lovable but definitely eccentric mother.

“You’d think she’d know what I like by now.” You joked.

“What can I say, she’s a perfectionist.” You dad laughed before saying goodbye and exiting your office.

As you were typing out a response your phone dinged with a new message.

I hope you’re thinking about my proposal from earlier. Wasn’t kidding around this time honey.

Your thumbs hovered over the screen. How the hell had Ransom even gotten your number?

And like I said earlier, neither was I. The answer is no.

He responded only seconds later:

No ugly colors, don’t want to clash with my suit.

You had to give it to him, the man had tenacity.

You’re annoying.

Ransom only responded with a winky face. You shook your head as you exited his chat and went back to responding to your mother, barely noticing the smile that was covering your face thinking of that annoyingly handsome pain in your ass.

[cheeseburgersstuff]

Hi can u pls write steve rogers x barnes!reader like(enemies to lovers trope) modern au plsss

Hey, nonnie!! Thank you for requesting this! 💕✨ I hope you like it :')

LOVEABLE

Steve Rogers x Barnes Reader

Warnings: language, asshole reader, mistakes, shitty writing:') 

Master-list

You rolled your eyes for the 10th time. Nat, your best friend and not to forget the girlfriend of your brother gave you an annoyed look.

"C'mon why do you hate him so much? He is such a sweetheart." She said, taking a sip of beer.

You looked at her incredulously, "sweetheart? He is a fucking asshole! He always talks shit…" you were about to express your feelings about him when Nat cut you off.

"And what about you? You gave him respect?" You frowned at her words, why was she defending him.

You opened your mouth to reply to her but she didn't let you speak.

"I think you should date him, it's shocking you are not together knowing each other from your childhood." You kept looking at her with an open mouth.

She looked at the corner and got up from her seat.

"Consider what I have said," she said and walked off, probably to your brother, bucky.

You scoffed, shaking your head. You can't stand that blondie, from the start. The moment that guy became friends with your brother, you started to dislike him. 

Bucky stopped spending time with you, it was always about Steve from then. 

He is coming for dinner. Sorry tiger, Steve and I are going to the movies.

Your plans with bucky were ruined because he had to take care of that cute little shit who got beaten by some bullies.

You didn't know why he looked cute to you even with his small fragile frame, he was just so perfect for everyone. So polite, so respectful.

But you knew the truth, he was a shithole, who always found it amusing to annoy you, he knew your dislike for him so rather than doing something to make himself a bit lovable for you, he started to irritate you.

Those annoying mimicries turned into snarky comments and remarks throughout the years.

And that cute little shit was now a big hot asshole you have ever met.

You still couldn't stand him. If it wasn't your big brother's birthday party, you wouldn't tolerate standing beneath the same roof as him. This was how much you hated him.

You sighed again, checking the time waiting for your boyfriend, John.

You looked around to see if he came but there was no sign of him.

Suddenly your gaze fell on a blond girl, throwing herself on Steve, who was quite enjoying her company.

It looked like he felt your gaze and looked towards you. He smirked at your eye contact. You rolled your eyes and turned your back towards them.

You were getting bored when he came beside you.

"Hey, sweetness." Again that teasing tone.

You ignored him thinking he would leave but of course, it was steve grant rogers, he never took a hint.

"Why so lonely huh? Your idiotic boyfriend is not here." 

That made your blood boil. You turned and pointed a finger towards him.

"Shut the fuck up. Do not talk to me and don't even dare to call him an idiot." You hissed at him.

Steve only chuckled and grabbed your finger gently pulling you towards him. You looked at him with wide eyes and tried to pull your finger outta his grip.

"You gotta keep your eyes open girl or else you will keep waiting for him in every party and he will be enjoying with some—"

"Shut up rogers" she yelled and pushed him away. A few people stared at both of you but you didn't care.

"Just because you were fooled by your  fiance doesn't mean everyone is out there cheating on their partners. Not everyone is like Peggy carter" you whispered those words pure-hearted but as soon as those left your mouth, you regret them. 

Your breath was heavy with all that emotions. You looked up at Steve and felt more guilty.

His jaw was clenched. You expected to see hate and anger in his eyes but you saw the worst, sadness. 

He didn't say anything just looked at you for a few seconds and walked away. 

You ran your hand from your hair in frustration. You crossed the limit you knew, you just wanted to make him angry.

Your eyes fell on bucky and nat, they gave you a disappointed look before running outside towards Steve.

~

It had been a week since that disaster and your guilt was doubled in those days.

You just couldn't forget the emotions you saw in those beautiful baby blue eyes.

You were thinking to apologize to him, it was difficult, very difficult but necessary.

But you didn't see Steve after that night. Mat and buck weren't talking to you, just a few words here and there. 

You felt like a criminal. You remember the day when Peggy broke the engagement, three years ago. He was so sad that day, you even heard him cry in bucky's room.

You remember how happy he was on his engagement day. The way he looked at her, the love in his eyes, you felt so weird that day. 

You didn't even want to attend his engagement party but of course bucky forced you. That little shit trapped you to come along with him, saying you were just jealous. 

You would have broken his head hearing if Nat didn't come between you two siblings.

Anyway, you still were thinking about his red puffy eyes from all the crying session when suddenly you buzzed bringing you out of your thoughts.

You looked at your phone. It was a text from an unknown number, with an address and time, along with a picture of your lovely boyfriend with some girl. You couldn't see her face clearly.

You frowned seeing that message. Now you wanted to know whether steve was true or not. 

A part of you believed him, yes you disliked him but still, you knew him from. your childhood.

He would never try to create misunderstandings between you and your boyfriend just to annoy you. 

"Still you talked shit about his love life huh" your inner self made you feel more horrible.

You groaned and fell on the bed with a thud. 

You decide to go to that address and then you would apologize to Steve as well.

~

It was a small cafe, you arrived a bit earlier than the time mentioned.

You didn't know who texted you and who's gonna bless you with their presence there. 

You kept waiting outside the cafe. Some time passed and no one appeared and you started to think it was some silly prank on you. But suddenly you saw John coming out of his car with some bimbo.

She was clinging to him. They didn't notice you and were walking inside the cafe when you marched in front of them.

The expressions on John's face, you would have laughed in any other situation with that moment you were furious.

He called your name with shock, of course not accepting you there. 

That girl just looked at you with confused, annoyed expressions.

You kept looking at him with anger, not knowing what to say.

That is what happens with you, always saying wrong things at the wrong time and when you have to say nasty stuff, nothing comes out of your mouth.

This was your anger.

"Who is she Johnny" that girl with her annoyingly high-pitched voice.

You cringed at her, "his girlfriend" you glared at her.

She got shocked at the revelation, "which I assumed you didn't even know about" you added.

And then it was two of them, she started to fight him ignoring you and the other people around you.

And strangling you were enjoying it. And suddenly she slapped his face. You covered your mouth with shock and to control your laughter too.

She walked off still cursing towards him. John glared at you. His eyes were filled with eyes. And that moment you thought why were you with that asshole.

Suddenly he grabbed your arm and forcefully dragged you towards the corner.

You freed your arm from his grip. You opened your mouth to talk but he cut you off.

"She slapped me in front of everyone because of you. How did you even get here huh" you were beyond shocked at his words.

And this is the guy for whom you talked shit to Rogers. She groaned internally.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now? You are the fucker who is cheating on me and still have the audacity to blame me! Like wow," you yelled at him.

He grabbed you again, this time with much more force, "do not talk with me like that" he murmured.

"Let me go, you idiot. Steve was so right about you, I was so stupid to defend you!" You hissed still fighting to pull him off.

"Oh, so suddenly Steve is all good and I am bad huh? Maybe you are the one cheating on me. Are you fucking that— 

Suddenly he got pulled off of you and was on the floor with a bloody nose.

You looked up and saw an angry Steve glaring at your now ex-boyfriend.

For the first time in your life, you were so happy to see that hit asshole.

John got up for the floor and tried to hit Steve but blocked him by grabbing his fist.

"Don't even try with me, Walker." He freed his hand with a force.

John glared at him and then you, "you will regret this, bitch" he hissed and then walked off.

You sighed in relief and looked towards Steve.

Suddenly you remembered your words and felt awkward. 

"You here?" You asked timidly. Steve was amused by your tone but didn't say anything.

"Umm..yeah. Buck called here" he said.

"And here I am" suddenly bucky came out of nowhere.

"I just wanted to show her how wrong she was to defend that guy," Bucky said looking at you still with disappointment.

"And things she said— he was saying but Steve interrupted.

" seriously buck. I told you to leave that matter." He sounded annoyed and you wanted the ground to swallow you.

Steve sighed and started to walk away. You could feel tears forming in your eyes. Bucky cleared his throat causing you to lookup.

He was giving you, go after him idiot, look. Steve lived near that area, so you ran towards the way his house was. 

Bucky smirked and pulled out his phone. 

"All done" he texted Nat. Finally, their plan to set these idiots up was about to fulfill.

Soon you found him walking on the side road with his hands in his pockets.

"S...steve" you called hesitantly. He turned around to look at you with a bit of a shocked face.

You walked closer to him. "I—" you looked around there were only a few people but still you didn't feel comfortable.

So you grabbed his hand and pulled in the corner, a small alley. 

 He raised his eyebrows at you, making you feel weird in the stomach.

"Steve about that night" 

"It's o—" he was about to say.

"Please let me speak," you said pleading yet a bit annoying tone.

"What I said was horrible, I should not have, no matter whatever the reasons were. Steve, I am so sorry about that. I didn't even mean those words, I don't know why I said those things" you were rambling when you felt his thumbs cleaning the tears from your face.

You didn't know when you started crying. 

"It's okay sweetheart" his voice was soft, just like his eyes. A worried frown was on his face, you wanted to smooth out with your fingers but controlled yourself.

"I surely was sad but I wasn't mad at you. So stop crying now" you nodded but still feeling bad.

Suddenly out of nowhere, something came into your mind which you blurted without thinking.

"Maybe you should come for coffee tomorrow at my house. It will make me feel better and—" he raised his eyebrows encouraging you to speak.

"Maybe we could take a long overdue but necessary fresh start?" You pulled out your hand for him.

"Truce?" She smiled. 

Steve chuckled and shook your hand.

"So it's not a date?" You knew he was annoying you. You rolled your eyes but then bit your lip.

"Umm. Well if you want…" you said looking up at him.

Suddenly his gaze fell onto your lips and then to your eyes. Your heart was beating violently.

He grabbed your face with both of his hands and started to lower his face.

His lips felt so soft against your, so perfect. They molded perfectly as if meant to be together. 

He kissed you softly and slowly, savoring that moment. Loving the feeling of them against his. 

His kiss literally took your breath away and you inhaled deeply after being apart.

"That was long overdue too" he whispered, resting his forehead against yours. You chuckled kissing the tip of his nose.

You couldn't believe you just kissed him. That hot asshole you claimed to hate suddenly seemed all loveable to you...

[bokoutoe-retired]

— setups, haunted houses, and confessions

characters; daichi sawamura, gn! reader

synopsis; after being set up by sugawara, a pining captain and a smitten team manager stumble their way through a very unplanned ‘date’

total w/c; 2154

warnings; a little mentioned of (implied) fake blood, and i mention clowns and zombies like once, just some normal haunted house stuff. otherwise nothing but awkward pinning here

「 a/n 」 requested by @girlontumblur! so i obviously failed at getting this out like i wanted (i went back and edited last minute smh) 😔🤚 but it’s here now! 😼😼 and i hope this does decent because although it doesn’t flow as well as i wanted it to, i still kinda like it lmao. anyways, daichi simps unite 🤝 enjoy!

you honestly should’ve known something was up the second sugawara approached you after practice with a sly grin plastered on his annoyingly pretty face. you should've known when everyone texted the team group chat with last minute cancelations or excuses for running late. and you definitely should’ve known when daichi was the only one you found sitting at the planned meeting spot. but, you didn’t and neither did he.

now you two were sat alone on the small blue bench. daichi had one of his hands tucked into the pocket of his thick army green jacket and the other hand scrolling through the same group chat you were looking at minutes prior. the two of you had agreed to wait for a little in hopes that maybe one or two other team members might show up. but unbeknownst to either party, both of you also hoped someone would show up and save you the pain of embarrassing yourself in front of the person you had been pining after for nearly three years. daichis phone pinged, interrupting the awkward silence. it was a text from suga and daichi can feel the tips of his ears grow warm as he reads the message;

have fun on your date! ;) -suga

of course it was suga. he shouldn’t have expected anything less from his scheming vice captain. how he got the whole team to go along with it, is a mystery he decides to leave for another day when he hears you speak up from your spot next to him.

 “is anyone else coming?” he’s thrown out of his thoughts when he feels you nudge his shoulder with yours and sees you nod to his phone. he quickly turns it off and pockets it before he turns his attention to you completely.

“i don’t think so, asahi was the last one to check in and he just canceled,” he sighs and shoves his other hand in his pocket. you two have been close friends for years, but a few recent incidents, (perhaps incited by suga now that he thinks about it…) have left you walking on eggshells around each other. all in attempt to not admit your feelings, the same feelings that are completely obvious to everyone except yourselves.

“oh.. well, i don’t mind if you don’t?” you wring your hands together in your lap as you look at him.

“yeah, yeah of course not. we’re already here aren’t we?” he gives you that big, warm smile you love so much. it’s practically infectious as you feel a wide grin spread across your face too. “lets go, yeah?” he stands up from the bench, and doesn’t hesitate to offer you his hand. you happily allow him to help hoist you up off the bench, but have to resist the urge to intertwine your fingers with his.

the walk to the pumpkin farm and haunted house combination is only about fifteen minutes, but the awkward silence from before is gone. replaced by comfortable conversation about your responsibilities as team captain and manager respectively, funny stories about your friends or talk about your shared classes. you’re so involved with the conversation neither of you notice the way you walk with your shoulders pressed together. maybe it’s a subconscious pull to one another or maybe just an attempt to escape the chill of the late fall air. 

upon your arrival, you can see the towering entrance archway, made of large sticks and corn stalks. built up into a curve with twinkle lights woven throughout. it welcomes you into the family owned farm turned halloween attraction. underneath the arch, families enter and exit, some with children in their costumes and some with parents carrying pumpkins. some young couples and teenage friend groups pass through as well. the small apple cider stand surrounded by hale bales emits that sweet spiced scent that so perfectly encapsulates autumn.

the original “plan” as stated by suga was to just go through the haunted house together and get some food together, just some team bonding. but without the lovable burden of the entire karasuno volleyball club with you, it’s easy for you and daichi to leisurely make your way around the entire farm and participate in all of it’s available activities. you made your way through a hay bale maze together. it may have been meant for children but you had fun regardless, laughing when you got separated and teasing each other when you hit a dead end. you got the treat of watching daichi attempt to bob for apples, and get nothing except for a slightly damp shirt collar.

you even purchased a bag of animal feed for you and daichi to share. you went around petting and feeding goats and a few chickens. at some point you reached into the small brown paper bag right when daichi did. your fingers brushed his and you both pulled back like you had been burned. each of you flusteredly spitting out apologies, until he takes a deep breath, chuckles and shakes head, telling you not to worry about it and it’s no big deal. his strong voice and calm words are a stark contrast to his worried apologies just seconds earlier, but it’s enough for you to relax and continue on with the afternoon.

eventually, daichi leads you to sit down across from him at a wooden table and you’re quick to fall into comfortable conversation. all while the warmth of the apple cider he had just bought you seeps into your fingers and keeps them warm.

if you didn’t doubt yourself so much, you would’ve thought this felt exactly like some sort of date happening. the two of you together, spending time doing things any real couple would. at the same time, similar thoughts raced through daichis mind. he thought about how much this must look like a date to any people passing, and how much he really did wish that was the case. to be able to call you his own and take you out on cute dates like this whenever you wanted. too concerned with his cheeks dusting red at the thought, he fails to notice the similar blush presenting itself on your face.

it’s so easy to get caught up as you keep talking with daichi, you don’t notice the sun starting to set and you don’t even catch him gazing at you with that soft look in his eyes. 

you crack a joke during your story about some of tanaka and noyas shenanigans and he laughs. he laughs this hearty, bright laugh that makes your chest tighten and your own smile widen. i’d like to make him laugh like that for the rest of my life you think.

“you know, i’m a little relieved. with the entire team here it would’ve been hectic to say the least,” he lets out another laugh at the thought of the whole club wreaking havoc on the poor farm, “and you know… i’m glad i got to spend time with you too. it was nice and i’m having a really good time” his soft smile is just as sincere as his words.

“i did too, daichi. thank you for today, i really had fun” you smile back at him and take a sip of your cider.

“ah ah! don’t say thank you yet, y/n. we’ve still got one last thing to do,” he shoves a thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the haunted house. from your spot at the table you can see the flash of the strobe lights and artificial fog trickling from the attraction. “maybe we should go get in line?”

you nod, and he once again offers you his hand to help you stand. and just like before you resist the nagging push in the back of your mind to just intertwine your fingers with his. you make your way over, tossing your empty cider cups into the trash as you walk.

you purchase your tickets, or more so daichi buys both of them despite you insisting it’s your turn to pay after he bought cider, and get in the line of about ten people.

“you know i didn’t really consider the fact i wouldn’t have the whole team to hide behind anymore” you rock and back and forth on your feet, as you hear a couple of screams echo from inside the house.

“what, is your captain not big and strong enough to protect you?” he teases while flexing one arm.

“oh stop it, you know what i meant” you playfully roll your eyes and poke him in the ribs right before he swats your hand away.

“just remember, if you take me out now you won’t have anyone to hide behind” by now the line has moved up and there’s only two or three people in front of you.

they group in front of you goes and suddenly you and daichi are up next. the front of the haunted house is decaying and covered in those sticky store-bought cobwebs. you drop your tickets in the box and with a wave of their hand an employee motions you forward into the entrance.

you make your way through the halls of the attraction, going through different themed sections. a circus tent full of crazed clowns, a bloodied butchers shop, and zombies kept back by chain fences. each hall comes with its own set of spooks and scares. creepy sound effects, banging on the walls all around you and air machines puffing air into your face. you don’t even attempt to hide your terror as you scream and even grab onto daichis arm. he lets out his own shouts of fear, but manages to put on his tough act at least partially. you notice him place himself in front of you slightly as you walk, the arm you cling to held in front of your body protectively, although there was no true danger. you’d probably think something of it if you weren’t too distracted by the adrenaline pumping in your veins. it’s not all scary though, a couple of daichis screams make you giggle and act as momentary distraction from your surroundings. a particularly high pitched yelp of his has you gripping the back of his shirt, doubled over laughing. but a loud bang that rattles the wall next to your gives you a start and you keep venturing forward through the house.

you think you’re finally in the clear when you're walking down the hall that leads to the exit off the back of the house. you see an employee dressed in all black at the end directing people around the side of the house and back to the front. but it’s only when you feel your heartbeat start to slow that you hear the chainsaw start and the screams of the group behind you and daichi. you’re heartbeat picks up again and out of pure instinct you lurch forward. you make it out the hall and into the small gravel field behind before you realize daichi still had himself in front of you. you’re too late to react and go barreling into him. the momentum brings both of you tumbling forward into the gravel. you land halfway on top of him but his reflexes are much better than your own and they help keep you from going too far. one arm keeps you from rolling and the other cradles your head to his chest to prevent you from hitting it. the loud buzz of the chainsaw fades as the actor chases the friend group around the side of the house for a short distance. you immediately sit yourself up and attempt to apologize between labored breaths.

“oh god, daichi. i- i’m so sorry, i just heard the chainsaw and i started moving. i didn’t even think. i understand now why you don’t like me back now. i’m so sorry” you hang your head in apology, not even registering the words that slip from your mouth in your scramble to say sorry.

“what?” he asks, stunned.

“...what?” you echo back slowly before the realization hits you hard. you struggle to spit out an explanation and you feel your face heat up, “i just meant-” 

daichis look of shock morphs into a soft smile as he cuts you off with another one of his warm laughs and uses the hand at the back of your neck to pull you down. his lips meet yours in a kiss thats just as warm and solid as him. he pulls away after a moment only to rest your foreheads together and smile at you softly 

“does that mean?” you breathe out, smiling back hopefully.

“yes, yes it does,” he chuckles and stands up from the ground. daichi offers you his hand one last time, you take it and pull yourself up. but unlike any previous offers, you don’t hesitate to lace your fingers with his.

[hihellogoodbyebruh]

Is She the Reason?

Pairing: Angel Reyes x Black!Reader

Summary: Angel has been distant lately and Y/N discovers the reason why.

Warning(s): Foul language, angst, cheating :(

Word count: 1,831

Author’s Note: I’ve been in a sad mood so this kind of came out of that. Plus of course the Destiny’s Child song of the same title was inspiration. There is kind of a prequel in my docs that may get posted in the future. We shall see. Also the text in the gif isn’t relevant, I just needed sad Angel. Questions, comments, and concerns are always welcome. My inbox is open. Enjoy!

Part 2

The MC was dealing with a very busy couple of weeks. With the Galindos now working with Rebels, the Mayans were needed to help facilitate the relationship incognito. Angel had a position now so his responsibilities were even greater and you’d seen him less and less. He used to call and text frequently, but you stopped receiving those all the time as well. Something felt wrong, but you chalked it up to him just being busy. You missed just being in his arms and seeing that annoyingly sexy smile on his face. You knew the guys were running day in and day out so you wanted to do something for them. With the help of Chucky, you organized a special dinner for everyone. You knew it could get interrupted with urgent club news, but you had to try.

With meat provided by Pops and sides prepared by you, the boys practically had a feast laid out in the middle of the clubhouse. You had come to really care about all members of the club. Your father was a retired police captain who always had a soft spot for the club. He was actually friends with Bishop and Marcus. You’d known them all your life. Of course EZ, Coco, and Gilly had a special place in your heart because of their closeness to Angel. They became like brothers to you quickly. EZ was the baby brother with the gentle soul, Coco was the wild one, and Gilly was just so damn lovable. They were the perfect balances for Angel and you were so happy he had them in his life.

As you finished making sure everything was laid out to perfection, you heard the rumblings of engines outside.

“They’re here!” Chucky excitedly declared and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yes I can hear that Chucky. Start opening some beers up, yeah?” You suggested and he nodded his head as he followed instructions. You had just made your way from behind the bar when the doors opened.

“Something smells good as fuck in here. No way Chucky cooked.” Bishop stated as he walked in with Taza and Loza behind him.

“Absolutely not. I love y’all too much for that. I figured you busy men deserved a nice home cooked meal. Dig in, Jefe.” You announced, smiling at them. Obispo was like a second father to you. Your father and him had developed a highly unlikely friendship that was still strong after all these years. They played cards every week.

“Gracias, chica.” Bishop replied, placing a paternal kiss on the side of your head before walking towards where Chucky had beers lined out.

You were greeted and hugged by the rest of the gang, with Coco and Gilly pulling up the rear.

“You cooked, Y/N? Please tell me you made mac and cheese.” Coco asked, with the closest thing to a pout on his face that you’d ever see.

“Nope. Not this time.” You lied, just to see his and Gilly’s faces dropped. It was so funny.

“I’m just playing. Of course I-” You couldn’t even finish your sentence because Gilly and Coco were racing each other to get to the pan first. 

“Y’all better share!” You yelled after them, laughing and shaking your head before heading towards the door. Angel hadn’t been inside yet so you figured he was outside talking to EZ. You had on your favorite pair of jeans that hugged your ass just how he liked it and you had recently taken down your braids to let your natural hair breathe. You had a fresh twist out and you knew your tight curls bouncy and shining in the sunlight.

As you stepped outside, you spotted Angel immediately. He was leaning against the side of the opened van door speaking with a woman sitting down on the van’s floor. You tried not to let yourself be the jealous type. Angel was a very attractive man that often had girls trying to holla at him. He never seemed to entertain them. Nah, it wasn’t the fact that he was talking to a woman that bothered you. It’s the way he was talking to her.

He was completely engrossed by her. You could only see his profile but you recognized the softness in his face. It’s the same look he would give to you. The look that had you feeling like you were the center of his universe. Your breath caught in your throat as you watched the genuine smile that spread across his face as he became amused at something the woman said. You watched his hand run up her forearm and give it a gentle squeeze. There was nothing overtly sexual happening, but the intimacy of it all broke your heart.

The woman wasn’t someone familiar to you. At first. But then you spotted the unique tattoo on her neck. You had heard that tattoo described before. Adelita. The rebel leader. She was beautiful. There was a quiet power to her that almost pulled you in. All of the dots began connecting in your head. All those times he mentioned Adelita and how smart she was, how brave she was, what a badass she was. You thought it was just respect, but now you see it’s more than that. Something was going on between them.

Noise caught your attention and from your peripheral you spotted EZ coming out from his RV. You watched him assess the situation in seconds flat. You turned your head to make eye contact with him and the sad smile on his face, the apology written clear as day there, took your breath away. You felt a tear slide down your face and you turned around to quickly wipe it away.

When you turned back around, EZ had walked over and broken up the conversation. Angel finally turned around and saw you there. You could have swore you saw a quick flash of guilt cross his face before he walked over to you.

“Hey querida.” He kissed your forehead and pulled you into a hug.

Even with your confusion, heartbreak, and anger you couldn’t help completely folding into the hug. Your arms wrapped tightly around his waist and you found yourself inhaling his scent. “Hi.” You breathed out as you finally pulled back from the hug.

“Hey Y/N/N, what are you doing here?” EZ asked, giving you a one armed squeeze.

“I cooked dinner for y’all. There’s plenty inside. Even for your friend here.” You mentioned, with a nod in the woman’s direction. “Except maybe the mac and cheese if someone didn’t stop Coco and Gilly from being hogs.”

“Gracias,” Adelita told you before walking inside the clubhouse with EZ. You watched as Angel watched her for a second before dragging his eyes back to you. There was a silence between y’all before you broke it.

“Is she the reason?” You quietly asked Angel.

“What?”

You scrubbed your hands over your face, trying to hold yourself together. “Is she the reason? The reason you don’t call like you used to? Come around my place like you used to? Or put it on me hard like you used to do?”

“Y/N, it’s not like that.”

“I didn’t ask what it’s like. I asked if she’s the reason that my calls didn't reach you? The deepest of my love couldn’t please you? Tell me the truth right fucking now. I deserve to know.”

There was another silence between y’all as you just stared in his eyes. You were begging, practically pleading with him to tell you that you were wrong. You were putting too much on nothing. That there was no one else… “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” Angel sighed, and you felt your heart drop into your stomach

“No..no, no, NO fucking dammit Angel!” You shoved him hard, your heartbreak manifesting as anger. “You promised me…”

He stumbled back a little at your push. “I’m so sorry Y/N. We were just working together, but something about her I-”

You cut him off with an angry hiss, “Shut up!” You didn’t want to hear all the things he found so wonderful about her. They didn’t matter. You just started pacing back and forth in front of him. You guys were lucky the yard was closed today and that EZ probably told everyone to stay inside and give y’all space. But honestly, you didn’t even care if you made a scene right now.

“You told me that before you stepped, you’d let me know. You promised you’d tell me if anything changed. You promised to be honest. You promised not to embarrass me. You promised, Angel, you promised…” Your voice broke as the full realization hit you. He’d been carrying out this affair for however long and he didn’t have the decency to tell you. You’ve been worried about him this whole time, but he’s been having himself a great time. You couldn’t stop the tears that flowed.

His eyes closed in guilt and sadness as you started to cry. He never wanted to hurt you. He just got into a situation that spiraled out of control. “Lo siento mucho cariño.” 

You just shook your head, unable to believe his words. Unable to believe what was happening. “Before you let me see you with her, you could have told me a change was gonna come. Told me something, anything...but no. How could you let it go this far if you had doubts that I wasn’t the one?”

“I didn’t have any doubts. It didn’t happen like that. I love you, but I just….I can’t explain it.”

“Love? You love me?” You repeated, your voice hoarse and breaking with the word. This wasn’t love. Love should never have so much confusion. Your mind was spinning and you needed to leave. Immediately. “I can’t do this.” You try to walk away but he grabs you.

“Y/N wait, please…” He pleaded, taking your hand and that physical contact caused you to snap.

“GET OFF ME!” You yelled at him, snatching your hand back. All thoughts of not making a scene left your mind. You were reacting from pure hurt. Your scream brought out the men from the clubhouse. “And don’t ever touch me again. We’re done, Angel. We’re so fucking over. You need to get your shit together, but I’m not gonna wait around until you do.”

And then you were rushing to your car and speeding out of the scrap yard. Angel tried his best to keep himself together even as he felt like his heart was beat out of his chest. He wanted to race after you but all he could do was watch you go. He felt someone step up beside him.

“I thought I told you not to be stupid, Angel.” Bishop told him, eyes still on the road your car sped down. He was pissed.

“Bish, I-” Angel started, but was interrupted by Bishop’s fist meeting his mouth. He fell to the ground, wiping at his busted lip.

“Just stay away from her.”

[askmerriauthor]

Jedi: Fallen Order thoughts 2/?

Discussion on "Star Wars - Jedi: Fallen Order". First post here, spoilers and lengthy rambling after the jump.

Honestly, I love this box art so much purely for the facts that 1) I made sure to remove that poncho the instant I could because the game's cloth dynamic rendering had it flailing about wildly as if it were trying to attack the universe through sheer defiance of physics in every cutscene. And 2) see that alien dude on the left with a pistol? In-game, he's an utter coward who never once participates in anything remotely resembling violence and sure as hell never wields a gun. It just reminds me of how Kirby is always given angry eyebrows in the US because marketing people are fucking stupid and think players won't be drawn to the game with an abjectly cute mascot.

So! The story.

As mentioned in my previous post, "Fallen Order" basically wants to tell a Found Family tale about a ragtag group of remnants who leave behind their previous lives and forge a new future together. We have our main character Cal Kestis; a former Padawan who survived Order 66 and has been in hiding for a handful of years. Cere Junda; a former Jedi who's cut herself off from The Force, Greez Dritus; a gambling addict pilot with a troubled past he's trying to leave behind, and BD-1; an annoyingly named but utterly lovable Droid who is far and away the best character in the entire damn game. There's also Nightsister Merrin; the presumably last survivor of the Nightsisters and potentially Cal's love interest, but she basically only shows up in the last 10 minutes of the game and doesn't get a lot of screentime despite being presented as a major part of the cast.

The game takes place a handful of years after the purge of the Jedi in Order 66, where both Cal and Cere's core character thrust is tied into. Cal was a child who survived only due to his master sacrificing his life to save him and has been wracked with guilt and PTSD ever since. Cere, on the other hand, unintentionally abandoned her own Padawan and other younglings, directly leading to their death, corruption by the Dark Side, and almost falling to the Dark Side herself. The bulk of the narrative throughout the game is dealing with the relationship these two have with one another, coming to terms with their own trauma, and moving forward from there. Meanwhile, the overall plot itself focuses around finding a Holocron that has a map and list of Force-sensitive children throughout the galaxy, which the gang can use to rebuild the Jedi Order while also keeping it - and thus the children - out of The Empire's hands. The whole series of events culminates in a big showdown between Cere's former Padawan whom she abandoned and became corrupted into an Inquisitor, Cal contending with his own guilt, and the decision on whether or not the gang has the right to interfere with the Force-sensitive children's lives and potentially put them in danger if another purge were to occur.

On paper, it's a solid enough story. The actual execution leaves something to be desired.

Something I absolutely hate in games (which has become frustratingly abundant in recent years) is the illusion of choice. If a player is presented with choosing A, B, or C, that decision should matter. Which path is taken should have impact, consequence, and change the course of the story. If all three routes converge back together at the same outcome regardless of what you picked, then your choice never mattered at all. "Fallen Order' suffers from this. There are fairly sporadic points in the game where you're given the option to choose how Cal will reply to a given conversation, or whether or not to take a certain action, but it doesn't matter at all. The conversation's outcome nor the overall story isn't affected by your choice (or even if you bother to have the conversation at all), and the any time you try to do something other than what the game wants you to do, it'll just reset itself endlessly until you cooperate. You have no choice in the matter, but the game makes it appear as if you do to emulate your involvement.

I absolutely hate this in games. If a game presents you with choices, then your choices should have consequences. Your input should matter. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a linear, plot-driven game where the player has no direct input on the narrative. If anything, that gives the story even greater opportunities to shine because it allows the writers and directors to be in full control of the presentation, characterization, and story.

At the risk of sounding like a cranky old man, this is very much a "back in my day!" sort of situation where older games wouldn't shy away from simply locking a player out of content if they chose a certain path. If you pick A, you don't get to see what happens down B or C. If you want to join the Jets, you don't get to join the Sharks. If you want to see what lies down those other routes, then replay the game and make different decisions. Sometimes it was a specific design choice, other times it was a way to handle hardware/programming restrictions. But there's a big notion these days in particular where there's a desire to make sure the player sees all the game's content up front. I anecdotally chalk it up to an increase in non-gamers entering into video game development at management level and making design decisions they're not qualified for, but that's just my own take. Like, I understand the thought process behind it. "We have all this content, so we want to make it a selling point and ensure the player gets to see all of it! If they play our game and miss a bunch of stuff, they might bitch at us and cause reviews". I get it, I do. But it's also bullshit because it directly harms the final product. If a game is good, players will replay it ad nauseum for ages beyond release. So they're going to see all the content one way or another. When the "we have to let the player access all content up front" mind set is in effect, it means the player's choices ultimately don't matter and the resulting abundance of content is quantity rather than quality.

In the case of "Fallen Order", your choices don't matter one bit and it's not even out of a case of accessing content. For some reason the developers put in this vestigial, pointless façade of a dialogue tree and choice system when the game frankly would've been far stronger if it had just been left out entirely. Developers have to invest one way or another. Either make it a fully narrative-driven game and tell a solid story, or make it a player-driven game and put in the effort to make the player's choices matter. Especially in a Star Wars game, as RPGs in this franchise have historically have Light/Dark Side choices, character deaths, and alternate endings based on your decisions. A big part of "Fallen Order"'s story is characters contending with the risk of falling to the Dark Side because of their trauma, but the game itself never actually gives the player any chance to explore that at all. It's a huge missed opportunity either way.

I think that's where a lot of the story's trouble comes from in the end. It's a lot of build up on a good idea that fizzles out and goes nowhere. Cal spends the entire game getting to a point where he's ready to move on, and then the game ends. Cere comes to terms with her past mistakes and tries to redeem her fallen Padawan, only for said fallen Padawan to be killed abruptly and completely cut off that entire story thread. Greez's past coming back to haunt him is shoe-horned in randomly and never goes anywhere. Merrin doesn't have enough time on screen to matter. There are three major villains throughout the game who are just cast aside casually and with no lingering impact for ever having been there. The biggest final boss, who has been the core antagonist and a major point of emotional conflict for the entire game, is discarded with no resolution because this is a Star Wars game and we just can't have one that doesn't feature Darth Vader sweeping in to steal the spotlight.

It's just... ugh. There's potential here. There's obvious, glowing moments of potential where things could've been developed into something really impressive if they were just given the opportunity. It feels like a huge waste and the end result is just a "meh" game that doesn't go anywhere, doesn't contribute to the setting, and could very easily be dismissed entirely from the franchise with absolutely no impact.

[blueberrysets]

EXPLORING SONGS: HOW THE SUN TEMPTED ME

pairing: timeskip!tsukishima x f!reader

genre: fluff and angst, hurt/comfort

warnings: swearing, mentions of death, mentions of alcohol use, depression, grief, angst

word count:  3,343

summary: after the death of his best friend, tsukishima swore to never speak a word about that night and to not even mutter his name again. he would rather stay angry at himself for the rest of his life than to think about that incident. yet, it haunts him in his dreams and in his every day to day life. until the lovable roommate of his seems to show more care towards him than anyone else in his life.   

song to play: fine line by harry styles

an: yay!! this is my first installment in my writing collection of exploring songs! I’m super excited to keep writing for this and diving deep into the lyrics of the music. I hope you enjoy and let me know if you would like to be in the tag list for future installments!

masterlist!

taglist: @emiyummy @nyelsy​

In the five stages of grief, tsukishima seems to be stuck on the second stage; anger. He’s been that way for the past four years since he lost his best friend. it’s a relentless anger that is directed to anyone who happens to irritate him just slightly. he finds himself having to hold his tongue while an annoying little kid asks him a dumb question while he’s explaining fossils. he used to love their curiosity and would lend a hand to teach them. his anger starts at the bottom of his feet, flowing all the way up to the middle of his throat. having him choke slightly at the ball of frustration blocking his airways.

yet the one thing he can’t get rid of, is his annoying lovable roommate.

“tsukki!” her voice rings out, bouncing off the walls of the bustling museum. her arms stretched way above her head as she waves him down, a bright smile lighting up her face as her cheeks and the tip of her nose are rosy from the winter air outside.

tsukishima finds the corners of his mouth raising slightly at the sight. it’s not a new one, she’s always there for his lunch break so they can eat together. always making food and coming to his work with a bento that has his name on it. the slight smile stays for a second, but is soon replaced with his familiar scowl. he makes his way over to her, hands shoved in his khaki pants. his worker ID hanging around his neck on a lanyard, irritating the back of his neck and bumping against his dark brown sweater. 

her office attire is covered by a long, black peacoat and a thick, tan scarf paired with it. her hands lower as he gets closer to her, but her smile doesn’t falter. the familiar big purse filled with the contents of their lunch is hanging off her shoulder, the same color as her scarf. she calls it her “mom purse,” stating how she can literally carry anything in there. if only he could take his grief and place it in there as well. 

“look at you,” tsukishima snickers, “finally dressing appropriately for the weather.”

a look of annoyance replaces her smile, he feels himself missing it already. her hand winds back to land a slap right onto his bicep. he couldn’t help but laugh even more at her reaction. it’s fun to tease her, especially when she gets pouty. 

“keep saying stuff like that and i’ll stop making you lunches,” she grumbles as she sticks her tongue out at him.

“you and i both know you won’t,” he shrugs. 

“shut up, i hate when you’re right,” she mumbles again, pushing the straps of her purse higher up on her shoulder as she walks to where his break room is. 

a hearty laugh leaves his lips as his head is thrown back. his shoulders rising up and down as the laugh takes over his body. it stops y/n in her place to look back and take in the sight. seeing the pure joy covering his face as he laughs, it's a sight she doesn’t want to miss. so, she halts in her tracks and admires him. but before he could notice, she turns back around and continues her way to the break room. but how odd was it, to know that he only laughs that genuinely around her. 

the clicking sound of her heels now echo off the walls, and he follows the noise all the way to the familiar staff break room. she clunks her purse down on the dull, wooden table that sits in the middle of the room. to the left of it is a kitchenette area with counters, a refrigerator, microwave, coffee maker, and sink. to the right are various vending machines and printers. she places the two bentos and two pairs of chopsticks onto the table before dropping her bulky bag next to her chair. she unravels her scarf and shrugs off her coat before hanging them on the back of her chair.

it’s annoying how frustratingly beautiful she is, without even trying. her black skirt fits her curves nicely and goes great with her favorite maroon turtleneck sweater. the black tights that cover her skin from the cold air transition nicely into her black high heel boots. her hair in its natural state as her face is adorned with work-suited make up. yet, his favorite look on her would have to be the casual clothes she lounges in at home. 

he takes his usual seat across from her, sitting down and grabbing the chopsticks that were set nicely next to his bento box. he breaks them apart before unwrapping and opening his meal. but stops his movements to see her loosely putting her hair into a bun before she eats. stating that it keeps it from annoyingly falling in her face as she eats, another habit that he can’t seem to stop gushing over. they sit in silence as they start to eat, it’s a comfortable silence. one that is usually filled with the humming from the printer.

“how’s work been today?” she asks with her mouth slightly full, her gaze on her food as she continues to shovel it into her mouth.

“the usual, how about you?” he softly asks as he picks at his food, “is that greg guy still bothering you? you know i can sort that out for you.”

she lets out a snort, setting her chopsticks down as she wipes her hands on her skirt. chewing her food completely and swallowing before she replies. 

“i’m a big girl, I can handle it,” she states in a sassy manner, her gaze meeting him from across the table, “but no, he’s not.”

“good,” he answers shortly, briefly meeting her gaze before it’s redirected back down to his food. 

she clears her throat as she picks up her chopsticks again, returning to quickly eating. their lunch time together is short as she has to catch another train back to her office in a different part of the city. he’s told her multiple times that she doesn’t have to do this, that he’s perfectly capable of having lunch by himself. but she insists, and he’s glad that she still does. perhaps, he doesn’t like being alone. 

“i can’t believe it’s already december 12th,” she mumbles, mostly to herself, “it’s getting close to christmas, i’m not even done shopping yet.”

while the statement of the date is an innocent remark, it stills has tsukishima freezing his movements as the breath gets caught in his throat. he slowly places his hands back down on the table and slightly pushes the bento box away from him, no longer hungry. 

well, it’s official. 

today marks five years since his best friend's death.

“tsukki,” her voice breaks through to his ears as his eyes snap open and his body being shaken by her, “tsukki!”

his breathing is rigid as his hands grip onto her arms, the covers thrown off of him as he feels the hot tears streaming down his face. his eyes scan his surroundings in his semi dark room, the only source of light being his bedside lamp. his glasses are placed on the bedside table and his clock shows that it’s currently 1:23 am. then his eyes finally land on her. 

her hair messy from her bed head and her eyes holding a look of concern. her hands slide from his chest up to his face, wiping away the tears that continue to fall from his eyes. he’s confused, throat dry and raw.

“you were screaming,” she whispers softly, one hand leaving his face as she runs it through his hair, “i think you were having a nightmare.”

it hits him. he was. memories of that fateful night replaying in his mind, over and over again. always the same outcome, always him being too late. he squeezes his closed, more tears leaving his eyes as does. yet the gentle touches from her hands wipe them away.

“do you want to talk about it?” she asks gently, causing him to slowly open his eyes to connect with hers. 

he shakes his head no.

“that’s okay,” she nods, “whenever you want to, just know that i’m here. let me get you some water.”

she stands up, turning to leave to walk to the kitchen. his hand latches onto hers, stopping her from leaving. she turns around, her gaze soft as she looks down at their hands then back to his face. he swallows, this is very out of character for him. but he doesn’t want to be alone. 

“will you stay with me?” he gasps out, shyly lowering his gaze, “just for the night.”

her thumb caresses his hand before she gives it a gentle squeeze.

“of course, i’ll stay for as long as you need,” she coos, “let me get you water, then i’ll come to bed.”

he nods his head, releasing his grip on her hand. she turns and walks out of the room, her bare feet padding on the hardwood floor. the sound fades out as he is left with his own thoughts again. he lays back down on the bed, running a hand through his hair. his eyes dry from the tears and his head throbbing for some sleep. yet he can’t go to sleep, he doesn’t want to see it again. he can’t keep seeing that night again. it’ll tear him apart more than it already is. 

before his thoughts could get even more jumbled together, she finally returned with a glass of fresh water. she sets it on his nightstand before crawling into bed next to him, pulling the covers up with her. he turns over to grab the cup, taking a few sips to soothe his throat. he sets it back down and turns off the lamp. he flops back down onto his back. a hand laying underneath his head as he stares at the moonlight leaking in through his window. then he feels her, her arm thrown over his waist as her head lays on his chest and her legs tangle with his.

his heart swells at the contact. it was at this moment, that he knew he could trust her with anything. despite his snarky remarks, silent grief, and witty attitude; she decided to stay with him. how lucky can one get?

“i’m not sure if i’m ready to fully tell you everything yet,” he explains softly, one of his hands drawing circles on her arm, “but just know that things would’ve been different if i was there before…”

“nonsense,” she cuts him off, her face still buried in his chest, “fate works in mysterious ways, kei. sometimes it does shit that seems so unfair, so heartbreaking. we can’t help but blame ourselves sometimes. yet, it’s not your fault. things happen for a reason whether we like it or not. you could’ve prevented it then, but who's to say it wouldn’t just happen later on? stop being so hard on yourself, instead take time to heal from whatever hurt you.”

another tear falls at her words, but god how relieving it was to be on stage three; bargaining.

he was so tired of being angry.

“i’m going out!” he remembers her saying as she struggles to pull her high heel onto her foot, “don’t wait up for me, i’ll text you when i’m on my way home!”

yet it’s morning, and there was no text. no call, no text from her friends; there's just nothing. he paces the living room, frantically calling her number over and over. his hair a mess with how many times his hands had run through it. his pajamas fitting loosely on his skinny body, he has lost some weight hasn’t he? 

“pick up, pick up,” he whispers to himself as his bottom lip is being nervously gnawed at, “y/n pick up, damnit.”

voicemail, again. he aggressively pushes the red button to hang up, harshly throwing his phone onto the couch. he grips the edge of the sofa, his foot tapping anxiously as he tries to wrack his brain around what is happening. where was she? if she got hurt wouldn't he get a call from the hospital? or if it was something else, wouldn’t her friends or the police station call him? he is her emergency contact, he should be hearing something! what if she got kidnapped? maybe that’s why no one has told him anything. what if-

the sound of the front door being unlocked and opening interrupts his thoughts. he whips his head in the direction of the noise to see her walk in. she wears clothes that seem to be her friends as she holds her heels in her hand. she sets them on the ground gently, not wanting to make much noise so she doesn’t wake him. 

“where the hell were you?” he asks loudly, causing her to jump from the surprise.

“oh!” she exclaims, “i spent the night at a friends place, but my phone died. sorry i didn’t text you.”

“you didn’t think of maybe having a friend text me?” he asks in a snarky tone, angrily walking over to her, “i was worried sick, y/n!”

“i’m sorry,” she laughs, “i didn’t think it would’ve been that big of a deal.”

“not a big deal?” he sneers, his hands gripping her biceps in a tight hold, “what if something happened to you, huh?”

“kei, let go,” she warns, “your grip hurts.”

“i can’t lose another important person, y/n!” he yells, taking in a sharp breath at what he just said. 

“another?” she questions, her gaze more confused than angry now. 

“forget it,” he mumbles as reaches behind her to grab his coat. shoving his feet into his shoes before walking out the front door, slamming it right in her face. 

onto stage four: depression.

the last person he expected to see waiting for him at the end of his shift, would be her. her black peacoat contrasting with the red scarf wrapped around her neck. the scarf looking bulky against her frame, but comfortable. they haven’t had a conversation in two weeks, an awkward environment surrounds them since that morning. they kept to their assigned rooms in the apartment, yet she showed more compassion for him than he thought she would. she still set food outside his door, still packed him lunches, still did his laundry, or cleaned his room since he lacked motivation to do anything. opening his eyes felt like a chore lately, yet she still supported him silently. 

“come with me,” she said softly, reaching a hand out to him, “i’m taking you somewhere.”

his eyes are wide, filled with curiosity and confusion at the current situation. yet he still reached his hand towards her mitten-covered one and held onto it. he let her pull him along with her. following her to the train station, sitting patiently for their stop, then following her off the train. their hands never once letting go. he was afraid that if he did, she would disappear in thin air. truly, leaving him completely alone. 

she pulled him all the way to the beach, the waves slightly frozen as they crash into the rocky shores. she pulls him up onto a big rock ledge, sitting down once they reach the top. her legs dangling off the edge and the golden rays of the setting sun hitting her face. tsukishima was still standing, looking out at the perfect view of the sunset. but then averting his eyes to his own person sun sitting on the rock. he follows along and sits next to her, the harsh wind from the ocean hitting both of their faces. 

“i asked your brother about what happened,” she states over the sounds of the waves, “about yamaguchi.”

he lets out a shaky breath at the mention of that name, one he promised himself he wouldn’t say. for his own sanity, he wouldn’t mention that name again. 

“you did?” he asked quietly. 

“i did,” she states confidently, “and i want to apologize.”

he rips his eyes from the view to look at her, meeting her gaze that was already on him. confusion written all over his face. 

“i should’ve texted you that night, given you some indication of where i was. something to at least ease your mind,” she explains, her voice sounding like she was pleading for him to forgive her. all of this time, they both blamed themselves for the situation, “but i had no idea what you have gone through, but now that i do i completely regret my actions.”

tsukishima swallows hard as he looks down at his hands that rest in his lap. so she knows, and now she probably knows that he’s a huge fuck up. he took a few deep breaths, preparing himself for the conversation. 

“how long have you known,” he starts, “about him.”

“about a week,” she whispers, “i didn’t have the heart to bring it up to you, i wasn’t sure how you would react. but then, i’ve seen the grief and guilt eating at you slowly. i can't stand to see you like that anymore, kei.” 

“he called me,” he whispers, lifting his gaze up to her eyes. tears welling up in his eyes, “he called me that night asking for a ride, drunk. i remember that i was so annoyed by that call, that i didn’t leave right away. deciding that five more minutes of sleep was more important than my friend getting home safely. when i finally left and went to pick him up, the other guests said he left with someone else. then i get the call the next morning, the call that he was… well, you know.”

she scoots closer to him, placing her hands on his face. meeting his eyes with such intensity and care, he didn’t deserve her. the tears ran down his face, seeing who would get to the finish line the quickest. his body shakes from the sobs as he finally talks about that night after five years of avoiding it. 

“this isn’t your fault, kei,” she says slowly, meaning every word.

“but if I just left right away-“

“he would’ve still had time to accept that ride,” she states, her eyes full of certainty, “he knew the risk, everyone does when it comes to alcohol. yet, he still said yes. he could’ve said no, you already told him that you would come pick him up. he left you, you didn’t abandon him.”

“i don’t deserve you,” he sobs out, “i really don’t. you’re like the sun, tempting me to be happy with what i did.”

“i’m not trying to make you feel happy about what you did,” she explains as she uses her mittened hand to wipe his tears, “i want you to accept that what happened, happened. there were mistakes made, yes, but you can't change it now. what you can do, is live in his memory. live life for him, and dedicate every waking day to him.”

“i love you,” he gasps out, “i really do, you sunshine. you temptress. so please, if i’m gonna do this i want you to be there with me.”

a smile breaks out on her face, laughing slightly. for once, his eyes weren’t full with the hardening gaze of sadness and guilt. but bright and full of love, and how she longed for that gaze to be shown her way. 

“i’m not going anywhere, kei,” she smiles, “and i love you too.”

his arms wrap around her waist and pull her closer to him, lowering his head to capture her in a kiss. the sun is almost gone behind the horizon now, yet the glow from his own sunshine blinds him with love. tempting him to deepen the kiss as their grips on each other tighten.

he was right, he doesn’t like being alone.

it seems that he’s not anymore. 

[sirowsky]

The Flowers Always Know

Description: When a mad scientist uses you as an experiment while you’re on holiday, the Heroics only just manage to save you. And in your recovery you become very close to the leader of the group. (Slow burn)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Language, angst, physical injury.

Link to Masterlist

Comment: Reader continues to struggle with her abilities, but with some help, she finally begins to understand them better. Though, no good news without bad ones too...

(Is this GIF yours? Let me know, and I’ll credit you!)

Chapter 21

  The next morning you woke up in a secure room. They didn’t trust you with med-chambers anymore. That was probably about time.   Tuesday. Today was Tuesday. You sighed as you wondered just how long it would take before you’d inevitably mess up the days again.   You already missed waking up to Amaire’s brisk and energetic ‘Good morning, champ’. They were so good at using just the right level of enthusiasm to give you a boost, without stepping over into overly energetic, or annoyingly chipper.   Here, there were no lovable nurses, no doctors checking on you every hour, just sensors in the walls that continuously scanned you for changes in energy-levels.   Unfortunately, though, the science division had been kept up to date on your move, and within five minutes of you waking up, the door opened and another fucking piece of cardboard was shoved in your face.

  “Seriously? Do you people even sleep? It’s not even 6am yet…”

  “We sleep in shifts, miss. This is important, we want to get you that assessment as soon as possible.”

  Oh, great, now you felt bad for being snarky, on top of your usual less than stellar morning mood.

  “How thoughtful of you. And what about making this shit actually edible? Any idea how soon that might become a priority?”

  “Uh… sorry, miss. It’s a process.”

  “Really? I hadn’t noticed. Does the recipe actually change at all? Because it still tastes like something between paper and dirt, no matter how many times I eat it.”

  “It does, but they actually remove as much flavour as they can, since it’s so full of synthetic materials.”

  You raised your eyebrows at him before swallowing the synthetic piece of crap.

  “Sorry I fucking asked.”

  He squirmed a little where he stood, clearly uncomfortable with your language. But you were pretty sure he’d actually been waiting outside the door for you to wake up, and then not even had the decency to wait until you’d been to the bathroom before barging in. So, you didn’t really give a fuck about his feelings right then.

  “What?”

  “Sorry, I just have to ask if you feel any sense of fullness?”

  “I’ve barely swallowed it…”

  “I know, it’s just that the effect should be pretty instantaneous.”

  “Well, then – it isn’t. Can I go and do my morning bathroom now, or do you have another annoying and useless point?”

  He all but ran from the room and you felt a tiny little bit bad for him. But they really should know better than to bother you first thing in the morning, by now. Especially with nervous tweens.

  You missed the relative warmth of the med-chambers. These rooms were literally just empty squares of powers-proof materials, or, as close to it as you could get. There wasn’t actually any material that was 100% proof against powers, but some metals combined with force-fields could withstand incredible amounts of supernatural forces.   There was a simple bed, and two chairs and a table, all of it made with the same power-resistant metal. That was it.   And while you did see the wisdom of keeping you in there, it also felt more like a prison than anything else, and it made you anxious. Especially since Marcus was still on single supervised visits.   He’d been verbally reprimanded for taking you to the in-house restaurant, and sitting you down among dozens of other guests yesterday, but in these circumstances that was like getting a slap on the wrist. You hadn’t really been in any state to be able to harm anyone, since he practically had to carry you there. And he’d made the judgement call that getting nutrition into you was more important than keeping you isolated, at that particular moment.   He’d sat with you while you’d gone through the equivalent of about six dinners, continually refilling your plate as you emptied it, until you’d finally had enough, and damned near fallen asleep over your plate.   You didn’t expect him to visit until school was out for the day, so you prepared yourself for a long and dull morning, probably accompanied by nothing but the fucking science division.   Oh, joy.

  It was just before lunch that the door opened for the fourth time that morning. You were just completing your eight set of push-ups, burpees and hand-stands, and you were in no mood for more synthetic foods. Today was the kind of day where your morning mood just lingered, and became your overall mood.   You were pushing yourself physically in an effort to keep yourself calm and balanced, despite the boredom and interjecting annoyances, but it wasn’t quite working.

  “Did some idiot give you coffee?”

  You actually warmed at the sound of Anita’s sharp voice behind you, and you let your legs fall down from your last hand-stand and stood up to see her magnificent scowl.

  “I wouldn’t put it past them.”

  “Well, sit down before you pass out.”

  “I’d rather stand. I have a little too much energy at the moment.”

  “Suit yourself.”

  “I generally do. So, what brings you to my dungeon on this unremarkable Tuesday?”

  “Just checking on you for Marcus. He’s a bit worried after yesterday.”

  “Yeah… that wasn’t a very good day, either. I don’t seem to have a lot of those lately.”

  “Mm. It’ll get better. All supers struggle after discovering their powers, it’s just that, usually, they’re kids or teenagers which means they don’t have the grown-up problems to worry about too. You’re juggling a lot, loco. Give yourself a break.”

  “Wow. Marcus must be really worried if you’re actually being nice to me.”

  “I’m always nice to you.”

  You looked at her with a mockingly shocked expression.

  “Incredible. You’re lucky I kinda love you.”

  She squirmed and got up to leave, and you couldn’t help but grin widely behind her back.

  “You’re welcome, by the way.”

  “For what? The privilege of your visit?”

  “No, niña. For the smile on your face right now.”

  She didn’t even look back as she said it, somehow still knowing the smile was there. It lingered on your face for a good few minutes after she left.

  You gave up on trying to exercise your stress away, after your arms gave out and you fell on your face, during your fifteenth set of hand-stands.   You did have an actual bathroom, with a shower. But it was an adjoining room that could be detached from the actual cell, if anyone feared you might try to use the toilet as a battering-ram for some reason.   You took a long and soothing shower, letting the soap wash away the sweat and grime, but also some of the nervousness that seemed to live in your skin. You took some time to take care of your nails and put on creams and blow-dry your hair.   You hadn’t taken the time to really groom yourself in weeks, and it somehow made you feel better. Less chaotic and messy.   When you stepped out of the bathroom, the errand-boy from science was back, and whatever good mood you’d managed to accumulate, evaporated in an instant.

  “Oh, for the love of fucking Hades, will you just leave me alone, already!”

  A puff of energy escaped you, and it was enough to fling the scrawny little boy across the room and into the wall, head-first.   All the anger inside you morphed into a lump of ice in your heart, as you watched him collapse into a pile on the floor.   You ran over to him and picked him up into your arms, holding him tightly as you pushed your energy around him, and felt that thing leave you. That thing that wanted to make it right, to make him whole again, and in the next moment; he was.   You felt him twitch back to life, and your own energy drain, but you kept holding him.

  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to, I swear, I didn’t mean to, I’m so sorry.”

  “Uh… it’s okay, miss. I’m fine.”

  You let him go just enough that you could grab his face and look into his eyes to make sure.

  “Nothing hurts? Nothing feels bad, or weird?”

  “I feel… great. My shoulder’s been killing me after a baseball accident last week, but it’s all better now. How’d you do that?”

  Suddenly terrified of how easily and effortlessly, you’d hurt this boy, for no reason, you crawled away from him.

  “Go. Get out of here. Don’t come back, don’t let anyone come back in. Stay away from me.”

  You crawled all the way to the opposite wall, before the fatigue overpowered you, and you passed out.

  When you came to, you’d been moved.   You were on a hard bed of some sort, in what looked like a lab, and there was an elliptic-shaped, transparent dome covering most of your torso, as well as two thin tubes leading into each one of your arms, and another two into each leg. IV-tubes. And the banana-bags they were attached to where in the gallons- not ounces -category.

  “What… what are you doing? It’s not safe… you have to put me back, it’s not safe…”

  “Calm down, miss. Everything’s fine, these instruments have been calibrated to absorb your energy, you can’t hurt us here.”

  Her voice was soothing, comfortable without feeling forced.

  “My name is Doctor Emily Kane, and you’re in the Research division right now. We’ve decided to go ahead and do your assessment. For the moment, it seems more urgent to understand your abilities, than keeping your energy up. That said, we’re not going to push you until you’re completely drained, don’t worry. We’ve taken as much precaution as we can.”

  “I… I think I killed that boy…”

  “And then you saved him. It was an accident, and I understand that it frightens you, but the key to controlling your powers in the future, is precisely by not being afraid of them. And the best way to reach that point, is to understand as much about them as you can.”

  She met your eyes and held your gaze until you nodded.

  “Okay. Then let’s get started. This machine on top of you is going to absorb and measure and categorise your energy, so I want you to try and activate your power right now.”

  You took a few deep breaths, and tried to push your energy out, but it wouldn’t come. Your fear had locked it down, and you wanted it to stay down. Forever.   After twenty minutes of failed attempts, no matter how much the good doctor tried to either soothe your worries, or antagonise you, she finally had to admit defeat and was forced to change tactics.

  “Okay, this isn’t gonna work. Bring him in.”

  The door opened and Marcus stepped in, and came towards you, and every piece of equipment in there that was attached to you, started beeping and moving.

  “Marcus… you shouldn’t be here.”

  “It’s okay, sweetheart. You won’t hurt me.”

  “I don’t know that.”

  “But I do.”

  He kissed you, really kissed you, and the machines went crazy as you heated up for him. You wanted to touch him so badly, but your arms were trapped by the elliptic dome on top of you. Your ghost hands found him, curling into his hair and holding him to you, and all the while the room got louder and louder.   The frustration of not being able to feel his skin against your body, eventually made you angry. Angry enough that your energy flared, and the dome really did absorb it.   Somehow, that was a big enough surprise to you to break through your lust, and make you pull away from Marcus to stare at the dome while you shot another burst of energy through it.   It just disappeared from you as the machine sucked it up, and for reasons you couldn’t understand; it all seemed like a challenge to you. Like it was baiting you to try harder.

  Challenge accepted, Data.

  In your periphery, you saw Marcus back away, as you held back and gathered your energy under your skin. You had broken an entire med-chamber by filling the room with an invisible density, you’d certainly be able to break one little machine.   When the energy was so thick under your skin that you feared you might burst from the pressure, you released it. The whole room shook, but only for a moment, and then the dome had swallowed it all up.

  “Amazing…”

  Dr. Kane’s voice broke into your concentration, and you forgot your challenge.

  “I’ve never seen this type of energy before. It seems to exist in several dimensions simultaneously. Fascinating.”

  “Dimensions? Wait, it really is ghost energy?”

  She chuckled slightly at that.

  “I guess you could call it that.”

  “So, what does that mean?”

  “Well, we’ll have to perform more tests, obviously. But, basically, it means that you have the ability to tap into one or more alternate dimensions, and draw energy from them, into this one, using your own body as a conduit. It also means that there’s theoretically no limit to how much power you could wield, with the exception that acting as a conduit is seriously draining on your own body. So, let me be clear: your power absolutely can kill you.”

  You took a minute to absorb that, not that you actually could yet, and you felt, more than saw, Marcus shift nervously at your side.

  “And the healing?”

  “That one I can’t answer with any definity until we’ve had a chance to observe it through these instruments.”

  “But… your best guess?”

  “My best guess would be that that power actually comes from you, not some other dimension. It seems to be a clean transference, your energy and life-force is transferred to the injured person, instantly weakening yourself, much more than acting as a conduit does – but also instantly healing the recipient. It’s interesting that you’d develop these two powers specifically, though. It seems to indicate that you have a naturally self-sacrificial tendency.”

  Marcus flinched.

  “Self-sacrificial?”

  “Yes. A willingness and capability to take on difficult or even impossible tasks and burdens in order to protect others, regardless of personal pain or even the possibility of death.”

  That was a little too true for comfort.

  “And… while we’re on the subject of things that are less than fun to talk about, I feel obligated to inform you about something we’ve discovered about healing abilities in general.”

  “Okay.”

  There was something in her tone that made you feel like running out of the room.

  “We don’t know why, exactly, but it seems that women with healing abilities of any kind have an increased difficulty in conceiving children. We think that it might have to do with the fact that women bleed during their cycles and that their abilities instinctively try to prevent it, thereby messing with the natural order of the female body.”

  “But… I can’t heal myself.”

  “It doesn’t seem to matter. Have your cycles been regular?”

  “…No… not since the experiment. I figured it was because of the coma, since nothing at all worked during the time I was under, and for a while afterwards.”

  “Irregularity is one of the tell-tale signs, I’m afraid. But, listen, this is not an exact science. Couples that have been medically declared infertile or sterile have managed to get pregnant anyway. Nature’s amazing, and there’s so much we still don’t know about supers. So, if this is something you want, don’t let the science get in your way.”

  You had no idea what you wanted, only that you were suddenly glad that you’d at least started this conversation with Marcus a while back. It felt like it would’ve been a more difficult subject to broach now, if you hadn’t.   But this wasn’t the time to have it. There were more tests that needed to be done, and for the first time, you really wanted to know what more the science actually could tell you.

  You glanced at Marcus, hoping not see him crushed by the news, and were relieved to find him looking calmly determined.   You’d talk about it later.

Authors’ Note: I love criticism, don’t be shy to let me know if there’s anything you like/don’t like/have questions about.

@blueeyesatnight​ @farfromjustordinary​ @allmyspideys​ @hrk-fic-recs​ @strawberryperegrine @lucrezia-thoughts​ @computeringturtle

[shotsbyshae]

In the Dark

Warnings: Language

Words: 2.9k

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Fem!Reader

Summary: You only thought Ransom was an asshole, wait until you meet his family. Sequel to My Oh My & Trouble

Song: In the Dark by Camila Cabello

Thank you @hysteria87​ and @sagechanoafterdark​ for supporting me with this annoyingly lovable asshole.

*Spoiler free: no movie connections whatsoever.

I can see you’re scared of your emotions, I can see you’re hoping, you’re not hopeless.

“No.”

Your answer is quick, and Ransom flicks his eyes up at you over the top of his laptop screen, watching as you shake your head adamantly.

“Hell no.”

“Why not?” he questions, obviously annoyed by your quick response.

For the last two weeks your free time has been filled with his smug, arrogant ass. You’ve been fielding question after question on Steve���s life and maybe it’s selfish, but you just want a weekend to yourself.

You keep your attention on the towels your folding. They’re still warm – fresh from the dryer. “I – I have a date.”

“Since when?” he’s not convinced.

Glancing over you narrow your eyes at him before spotting your phone on the coffee table between the two of you. His gaze follows yours as you reach for the device, and he moves quickly, grabbing it before you do.

“What?” Ransom exclaims. “You going to swipe right on some random guy. Risk wasting your weekend on some asshole you don’t even know.” A sly smile crosses his face. “At least you know me.”

You glare at him for a moment, you’ve learned to never take anything at face value with Ransom, “What’s going on? Why even ask me? Don’t you have a little black book?”

There’s a sigh, his lips forming a thin line before he places your phone back on the table, “Granddad is the only one who knows what I’m doing, and I want to keep it that way. My parents are – difficult – to say the least.” He leans back in the chair and you can see a hint of anxiety there. “Granddad wants to meet you – the muse behind my idea. That’s what he calls you.”

You raise a curious eyebrow at him, “But if no one else knows what you’re doing, then who would your parents think I am?” He gives a half-smile and you shake your head again. “No.”

“It’s cliché, but –”

“Fuck no,” you reiterate. The thought of meeting Harlan Thrombey is one thing but having to pose as Ransom’s girlfriend is an entirely different story.

“Okay then,” he responds defeatedly before closing his laptop. “How about three?”

“Three what?”

“Three thousand.” A small snort of laughter escapes you, and Ransom smirks. “Did you just – snort?”

“My God,” you remark, standing up. “You don’t like being told no, do you?”

He tilts his head, the unimpressed look on his face is one you’ve seen before. Steve used to give you the same look when you’d question his authority or irk him in anyway. It’s a bit of a weakness for you and you hate yourself for it.

“Look it’s just one day,” Ransom says, absent-mindedly rubbing his earlobe between his thumb and forefinger – his tell. He’s really not wanting to go alone for some reason, which makes you curious. His voice is barely audible when he says the word, which is obviously foreign to him. “Please.”

You gather the towels with a sigh. “Make it five thousand.” A mischievous smile crosses your face. “And I’ll be your Julia Roberts – to an extent.”

There’s a boyish grin on his face as he nods in agreement, “Deal.”

***

The house is enormous, and you can’t help but feel in awe of it as you step out of the car. Adjusting the black skirt which you’d paired with tights and a wine-colored sweater, you can’t help but feel a little anxious about what you’ve gotten yourself into.

Approach it like a mission.

That’s the thought you keep you pushing through your mind. Hopefully like all weekends, this one will fly by and be over before you know it.

Ransom makes his way around the front of his car, offering his arm, “Shall we?” You glance from his arm to his face and roll your eyes dramatically before walking towards the house, leaving him standing by the car alone. “Well, this should be fun.” He mutters to himself as he strides quickly to catch up with you.

He opens the front door, and you step inside, the heels of your boots clicking audibly in the foyer. The house is warm – cozy – exactly as you expected it to be from the outside with it’s gothic décor. You begin to shrug off your coat, your back to the staircase in the corner when you hear the squeak of the wood from someone descending them.

“Your parents just called,” an older man’s voice states. “They’re running late.”

“With any luck I’ll miss them,” Ransom says dryly, taking your coat. You turn around with a smile as Ransom introduces the two of you.

“Well, a muse indeed,” Harlan says with a warm smile.

“It’s an honor to meet you Mr. Thrombey,” you say as he accepts the hand you offer him, kissing the top of your knuckles in a gentleman like fashion. “I’m a big fan or your work.”

Ransom cocks his head at you like a confused puppy, “Really?”

“Please,” he remarks. “Call me Harlan. Which is your favorite?”

“It’s a toss-up between The Needle Game and Drop in the Bucket,” you reply.

“You never told me that,” Ransom comments in confusion at your statement.

“And you never asked,” the response comes out a bit harsher than you intended.

He looks taken back with your statement, “Well – you want a drink? I need a drink.” Without waiting for your answer, he heads off into the library.

There’s a mischievous glint in the older man’s eyes as you glance back at him, “What?”

“It’s starting to make sense now,” Harlan comments, unable to contain his grin. “With a muse like you, I can understand why he’s spending all his time in New York.”

You fold your arms over your chest, “I don’t know what he told you, but we’re not –”

“I can tell,” the older man smirks.

***

“Five thousand huh?” Harlan questions as the two of you stand upstairs in his library, overlooking the banister to the rest of the library downstairs. “You took the money up front, right?”

“Of course, but I would have done it for the three,” you remark before turning the high ball glass of bourbon in your hand up. “Why did he want me to come?”

“Distraction I suppose. I mean – I love my daughter,” Harlan says with a sigh. “But she and Richard can be –” He trails off unsure of how to say it.

“Difficult,” you use the word Ransom used and the older man smiles.

“Exactly,” Harlan looks over the rail to see his grandson pouring himself another drink at the serving cart below.

‘You always have to be so difficult.’ Steve’s words echo through your mind and you say quietly, “So am I.”

“No my dear, you challenge him,” Harlan corrects you. “There’s a difference.”

The sound of the front door opening makes Ransom twist the top off the bottle and proceed to double up on the drink he just poured.

“Dad,” a woman’s voice calls out from the foyer.

“Showtime,” Harlan says as he lets you take another sip from your glass before he takes it from you. “Go, save him.”

You give a smile and a nod before you walk off.

“See, I told you,” Richard states to his wife as they walk into the library, seeing Ransom standing alone. “If it’s not a girl, what have you been up to in New York? Partying.”

“Hi Dad – Mom,” the man remarks before turning his glass up.

“What’s the excuse this time?” his father questions.

“Richard,” Linda begins to stop him.

“Did she have work? Does she even have a real job?” he says dismissively. “Or is she one of those – influencers?”

“I work for S.H.I.E.L.D.,” you state boldly from the bottom of the spiral staircase behind the pair. Listening to the man in front of you bullying his son irritates you something fierce. “You might have heard of them.”

The look of surprise on Linda and Richard’s faces is priceless as they turn to see you stride casually across to where Ransom stands. You try not to smirk as you take his glass from him, sipping it slowly as you step into his side. Your other hand slips around his waist instinctively as he carefully rests his hand on your lower back before he introduces you to his parents.

“Dad said you weren’t staying for dinner,” Linda comments after the introductions and Ransom glances up at his grandfather, who is still standing at the railing above.

“No,” he comments, unaware Harlan had given him the out. “We aren’t.”

“I have a work thing,” you almost sneer in Richard’s direction – tension between you obvious.

“Did you ever work with Iron Man?” the older man questions, obviously uncertain you’re telling the truth and you nod your head. “You know, I met Tony Stark once.” There’s a hint a maliciousness in his voice. “Not to speak ill of the dead, but he was prick.”

Without missing a beat, you smile sweetly, “Well, Tony always said it takes one to know one.”

Ransom nearly chokes on the bourbon he’s just took a sip of as Harlan erupts into laughter from upstairs.

Later you watch through the window as Ransom sits on the patio, Richard is standing in front of him, obviously reprimanding him for something. You wait until his father storms back into the house before you slip out the door, feeling Linda’s eyes following you.

“There is not enough alcohol in this house,” you say quietly as you move towards him. “Is she still watching me?”

Ransom’s eyes drift over to the window then back to you, “Like a hawk.”

You move to sit in his lap, causing him to shift uncomfortably as you lean against him, “She’s asked me so many questions.” You say quietly as you stare into the backyard watching the two dogs playing. “I’m surprised she didn’t ask for a blood sample.”  

“If Granddad’s nurse was here, she would have.”

“When you said difficult,” you lean back to look down at him, brushing your fingers through his hair. “I had no idea.”

“Rethinking your price?” Ransom remarks dryly.

“No,” you say, the corners of mouth hinting at a smile. “I really don’t like bullies.” Leaning back into him, you press your forehead against the base of his neck as you say quietly. “I would have done it for free.”

He laughs a little as his hand moves to rest on your knee, the heat radiating through your tights and onto your skin, causes your breath to catch slightly as he says, “I would have paid seven.”

There’s a moment of silence before you move to stand up. The comfortableness of the situation becoming a little too much for you, “We should probably get going.” He nods in agreement, following your lead.

“I’m telling you,” Richards voice echoes from the library. “There’s something going on here. A S.H.I.E.L.D. agent – really? I’m not buying it. That asshole is up to something.”

The audacity of the man baffles you, and Ransom tries to catch up as you storm into the library and over to where his father stands. You grab the collar of your sweater jerking it down, exposing your shoulder and the bright pink scar there.

“Six months ago, I was shot in Paris by an arms dealer,” you say angrily. “Because that’s my job.” Harlan stands up from his chair, watching the scene unfold. You turn to Ransom grabbing his sleeve and tugging it.

“I don’t –” he looks down at you, but can see the rage in your eyes and he sighs before he pulls his arm from the sleeve, allowing you to move the sweater over his shoulder as you push the sleeve of his undershirt up, exposing the fresh scar there.

“Ransom what is that?” Linda questions her son, concern on her face.

“That’s from a bullet,” you answer for him. “You know what kind of person takes a bullet for someone else?” You ask rhetorically. “Someone with a good heart and how he got that, living in such a toxic environment, is beyond me.” Harlan can’t hide the smile on his face as Ransom eases his arm back into his sweater sleeve. “So – in my book – you’re the asshole.” Richard stands there, shell shocked as you glance past them to Harlan. “Sorry Harlan, it was great meeting you.”

“Pleasure was mine dear,” he nods as you turn to storm out of the library.

Ransom gives a cocky smile as he waves before he turns to follow after you, watching you grab your coat before you open the door and head outside. He has to jog to catch up with you, his hand reaching for the passenger door before you can.

“You didn’t have to do that,” he comments quietly, watching your nostrils flare slightly as you try to steady your breathing.

“Someone needed to,” you reply as he opens the door.

Once he climbs into the driver seat, he sits there for a moment before saying, “Thank you.”

“Oh, I’ll also be taking the master tonight,” you remark with a smirk.

He laughs as he starts the car, “Of course you will.”

***

Once inside Ransom’s house you head straight for the kitchen, looking through the refrigerator first before nosily pulling open the drawer for the freezer.

“Well, well, well,” you comment to yourself, grabbing the pint of ice cream.

“If you’re hungry, we could order in,” Ransom says walking in behind. “Or go out.”

“This will work,” you say, producing the container. “I didn’t take you for a cookies and cream kind of guy.”

“You never asked,” he grins, watching you search for a spoon. “Left drawer.” You open the one he’s talking about and pull out two spoons. “Thank you again – for today.”

“You’re welcome,” you remove the top from the pint and hand Ransom a spoon.

“You really stepped up,” he remarks. “Played your part quiet well.”

Scooping up some ice cream casually, you say, “You realize undercover work is part of my job.” He watches you curiously as you slip the spoon from your mouth.

“What’s the most fun?” he looks intrigued. “Role that you’ve had to play?”

Thinking for a moment as he slips a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth you finally answer, “Housewife. For over a week.”

“Really? With who?”

“That’s classified,” you say with a smirk causing him to laugh. Looking down at the pint of ice cream a thought strikes you. “Got any vodka?” He moves to a cabinet producing the bottle you asked for and watches as you go to the refrigerator. “Glasses too, please.” Ransom grabs those as well and leans against the counter as you begin measuring out the liquor and scooping ice cream into each glass, followed by milk.

Ransom walks past you to open another drawer, pulling out two straws as you finish stirring up the drinks. He takes the glass you offer him, placing a straw in it and yours before taking a sip. His eyebrows shoot up as he tries the milkshake. “This is – good.”

“Of course it is,” you respond.

Three shakes later and you’re giggling at Ransom telling you the story of last Thanksgiving with his family. “It was nothing compared to today though.” He looks over at you, the fireplace in front illuminating both your faces. “You were great – thank you.”

“That’s the third time you’ve said that,” you remark jokingly. “Is ‘thank you’ a new phrase for you?”

Watching him look at the fire almost reminiscently as you place your glass on the small table between you. His voice is barely audible when he responds, “What you did for me – that was new.”

“I can see that,” you reply quietly, knowing that growing up with his family couldn’t have been easy. “I should call it a night.”

“Straight up the stairs, end of the hall,” Ransom says nodding towards the staircase. You stand up slowly, feeling slightly lightheaded from the vodka as you head for the stairs. “Hey.” He calls and you stop, turning to look at him. “That mission – the classified one.” Glancing up at you with that sincerity that you’ve caught a glimpse of before, he continues. “It was Rogers, wasn’t it?”

You give him a small grin, “Night Ransom.”

He waits until you’re upstairs and the bedroom door closes before he pulls his phone from his pocket, opening the application with several saved recordings. The first one is listed:

Agent S. Wilson, Phone Interview

He slides the bar forward a few minutes with his finger before he presses play and Sam’s voice comes through the phone speaker.

‘She and Steve, that relationship was – complicated. They loved each other though, in their own way.’

‘How would you describe her?’ Ransom’s voice comes across the device.

‘She’s one of a kind. I’ve seen her defy direct orders to save a friend. She’s loyal – bossy – but she’ll do anything for those she cares about,’ Sam’s words sound thoughtful. ‘I’m proud to call her a friend.’

Ransom had gotten a glimpse today of what Wilson had been talking about. You were relentless in your defense of him, something no one has ever done. He was glad he had invited you along. He had originally wanted to show his parents he could date someone smart – driven – but you had proven so much more than that in the short time you’d spent with them. He had seen that fire in your eyes, which led to the nagging question in the back of his mind – why?

Was that confidence – passion – in your eyes when you spoke of him meant for him, or for the man he reminds you of?

[peaceoutofthepieces]

to the person who asked me for a vds sick fic, I’m so sorry, I deleted your ask instead of answering it! I did a split sobbe/vds sick fic here, if you want to read that, but I’ll also do the flip version here just for you. sorry if there are any mistakes!

~^~

Lucas feels—and surely looks—absolutely pitiful.

He’s spent the past few hours lying in his bed on his stomach with the covers pulled up to his neck, and his spine feels uncomfortably curved, his face squished and numb. He’d spent endless hours before that curled into the fetal position and it hadn’t helped, so he’s trying his luck with this. He’ll stick it out for a few more minutes, at least, until the back of his neck finally responds to the cool, damp cloth and stops sweating or until the cramps in his stomach somewhat subside. The only movement he makes is to change the position of his head—twisting it from one side to the other every time his headache becomes unbearably uncomfortable. He’s sweating and shivering and he wants, more than anything, to curl into a ball and disappear.

Then Jens returns, and he remembers there might be something he wants a little bit more.

He makes the painstaking shift onto his side as Jens climbs onto the bed next to him and instantly presses a hand to his forehead.

“Fuck,” Jens mutters. “Why’s it not working?”

Lucas manages a quiet huff. “Fevers can last for days, Jens.”

“I don’t want you to be sick for days.”

Neither does Lucas, but it isn’t so easily helped. It also isn’t the worst thing in the world. It had felt like it, this morning, when he’d woken up and felt like his body was on fire and his head had been stuffed with dense cotton. He’d thrown up, initially, just once, barely managing to roll out of his bed and stumble to the bathroom before emptying the already-scant contents of his stomach. It was only a few hours later, when Jens had called wondering where he was that things began to look up. In his foggy state Lucas had forgotten they were supposed to meet, and it had only made Jens’s concern more urgent. Lucas was only capable of mumbling a groggy explanation—of whining a complaint—before Jens was rambling to himself about medicine and soup and temperatures and promising he’d be there soon. Lucas hadn’t been capable of a protest; the idea of Jens coming to him had been an instant comfort, and he’d simply agreed and smiled and relaxed as Jens hung up with one last reassurance.

He’s been bustling about all afternoon, bringing Lucas glass after glass of water, getting him a new blanket, laying cool cloths on his neck or his forehead, and being all too lovable for Lucas’s liking.

“Can I get you anything else? Do you want something to eat? I still have the—“

“Soup, yeah, I know,” Lucas laughs, even though it worsens the cramps in his stomach and leaves his chest aching. It doesn’t matter, because Jens obviously notices, and he reaches out to rub Lucas’s shoulder and then down his arm, smiling.

Lucas shifts closer as Jens fixes a lock of his hair, and then further when Jens doesn’t protest, laying his head in his lap and curling an arm over his legs. He waits, for a moment, and then Jens begins carding a hand through his hair and he closes his eyes and sighs. It doesn’t make him feel less sick, not really, but it makes him feel better. Especially when Jens takes the cloth from where Lucas had let it fall and dabs it over his skin, gently cooling him down.

“Do you want a new shirt?” Jens asks, and Lucas cringes. He can almost hear the other’s grimace. He doesn’t want to imagine what he looks or smells like right now. His discomfort at Jens seeing him in this state isn’t as strong as his desire for him to stay, though.

“No. Too much moving.”

Jens snorts. “I could help.”

“Why are you tryin’ to strip me?”

“It would help cool you down,” Jens says, easily, and there are certain moments like these where Lucas decides it’s hate rather than love that makes his blood rush.

There’s another part of him that considers it, but ultimately decides, “No.”

“Okay. So you don’t want to eat. You don’t want to change. You’ve stopped drinking you water—don’t think I haven’t noticed—just because you don’t want to have to pee. So what do you want to do?”

“Cuddle,” Lucas mumbles, thoughtlessly, and Jens laughs and doesn’t argue.

He continues petting through Lucas’s hair, scratching at his scalp and soothing the dull ache there. Lucas curls closer, drawing his legs up as he plays with a thread at the pocket of Jens’s sweats. His body feels like lead, his limbs heavy, and still he feels floaty, his head caught in the clouds. Jens’s warmth and gentle touches are the only things keeping him grounded.

“You don’t have to stay.”

It pains Lucas to say it, but he also feels gross and silly and he wants to give Jens the choice, to remind him that Lucas can survive on his own. That he’s managed it plenty of times before.

But he’s relieved when Jens merely scoffs. “Thought you wanted cuddles. And what kind of best friend would I be if I just left you to suffer, huh?”

“A shitty one,” Lucas agrees.

Jens hums. “So there you go. What else would I be doing without you, anyway?”

“Hanging out with the guys like you were supposed to?”

“They’re not you.”

Lucas bites down his smile, but he knows Jens sees it anyway. It’s obvious in how he pokes his cheek, the little accomplished sound that leaves his lips, and for once Lucas can’t fire anything back. He simply doesn’t have the energy. He feels too dizzy, too gone, too lax and content. Even Jens’s description of himself as the ‘best friend’ feels unimportant. Right now, Lucas doesn’t care that that’s all they are. He can’t, when Jens is so lovely. When he’s able to feel, for a few moments, that Jens actually does love him.

Jens trails his fingers out of his hair and across his neck. They dance over Lucas’s jaw, his cheek, his nose, his forehead, smoothing out the creases. Lucas lets his eyes drift shut again and allows it to comfort him. Jens traces over his eyelids, carefully, back down the slope of his nose and then briefly, mistakingly, across the curve of his lips before they hastily retreat back to his hair.

Lucas says, “Aren’t you grossed out?”

“By you? Never,” Jens returns. “You look very cute. With the rosy cheeks, and the sweat, and the matted hair, and I’m pretty sure that’s a vomit stain—“

“Fuck off, I hate you,” Lucas groans, and Jens laughs, petting his hair in apology.

“No, I mean it. Even now you’re annoyingly pretty, you know.”

Lucas stiffens and doesn’t open his eyes. “Shut up.”

“You think I’m lying?”

“I know you’re lying.”

Jens gives a quiet huff of amusement. “Okay. But there’s still nowhere I’d rather be, so.”

That leaves Lucas quiet. The shivers have started to kick in again, and Jens makes a move to fix it before Lucas can even move, carefully drawing the blanket up over his shoulder. Jens gives his neck a light squeeze and then begins to rub his shoulder in an easy, mindless rhythm. It staves off the chills much quicker than Lucas had managed this morning, and he sinks closer to Jens with a grateful sigh.

“What if you get sick?” Lucas asks, after another few moments of quiet.

“Then I’ll be expecting soup.”

Lucas snorts, squeezing Jens’s thigh. “Aren’t you bored?”

“Nope.”

“Jens.”

“Luc.”

“At least go on your phone, or play a movie or something.”

“Oh, do you want to watch a movie?”

Lucas kind of wants to sleep, and it feels like it would be easy under Jens’s ministrations. He wants to lie here for the rest of the day under his careful hands and comforting presence. He wants proper cuddles and maybe, possibly, desperately, a little bit more. He wants Jens.

He doesn’t want Jens to keep watching him—like Lucas knows he is—and focus on how gross and sweaty and pathetic he is.

He hums. “Yeah. Quietly.”

Jens huffs. “Okay. You gonna let me up then?”

“The control is right next to you.”

“No, it’s right next to you.”

Lucas blinks his eyes open to look at the locker next to Jens, and groans when he sees it empty. Jens laughs, and Lucas pinches his thigh, and then rolls painstakingly onto his other side and stretches his arm out for the remote. All his muscles feel achy and stiff, and he can only flop onto his back when he’s retrieved it, closing his eyes until his head stops spinning. When he opens them again, Jens is holding his glass of water above his head. Lucas gives him a withering look, but it slips when Jens sets a hand on his back as he sits up, keeping him steady, and he takes sips from the glass with shaky hands before letting Jens take it from him again. By the time he’s managed to recline himself again, Jens has slunk down the bed to lie with him.

He catches Lucas looking at him and smiles, holding his arm out towards him. Lucas hands him the remote. Jens rolls his eyes as he passes the remote to his other hand and then holds his arm out again.

Understanding sinks in and he hesitantly shifts closer.

Jens slips his arm under his neck and turns on the TV, navigating through it until he finds something worthy of background noise. Lucas stares at the side of his face, closer than he ever sees it when they’re both awake. Jens turns his head and their noses almost brush. Lucas expects him to laugh it off, or shift back, or to pull Lucas in until he rests on his chest instead.

Instead he draws Lucas in closer and presses a kiss to his forehead.

Lucas softens, unconsciously leaning even closer, and Jens gazes at him gently and strokes his cheek and Lucas’s heart thuds.

Jens rests their foreheads together and says, quietly and carefully, “I would right now, if you weren’t sick.”

It takes a few moments for Lucas to understand. Then he lets out a breath. “Oh.”

Jens smiles, amused, and Lucas stares, amazed, and can’t help asking, “So...when I’m not sick…?”

Jens hums, and then he kisses his nose. “If that’s okay with you.”

Lucas nods quickly and then winces at the spike in his headache.

Jens laughs, almost silently, and presses another kiss to Lucas’s forehead before tugging him into his chest and wrapping his arms around him. “Like I told you. Annoyingly cute.”

“And there’s nowhere else you’d rather be,” Lucas reminds him, sleepy, and Jens nuzzles into his curls in agreement.

“No,” Jens agrees. “Nowhere else.”

[hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall]

Listen, it’s simple: don’t eat his dick, eat his heart

Pairing: Bucky x F!Reader

Summary: Because “it’s just sex” does not exist.

Warnings: Angts, Fluff, mentions of sex, swear words, a happy ending ( is that a warning?)

A/N: Ok, because I am an awful person and doesn’t seem to control my real life I was yet AGAIN late for yet ANOTHER challenge. I’m so sorry @stuckonjbbarnes​ , I hope you will still like it <3

Words: 3000+

Friends with benefits was a great deal. Well… Until it isn’t and then it just sucks. Because you are stuck in a situation where the sex is really amazing, but your heart breaks every time he leaves your room with a small smirk and a quick “See ya later, doll” in this annoyingly cute and sexy Brooklyn accent. 

And here you are, sitting with your best friend - Netflix, a bowl of popcorn and a beer, watching Princess Diaries hating and loving this movie at the same time. But you don’t really pay attention to it anymore. You were supposed to meet with Bucky for your little ‘routine’, but he went on a date. Of course, he sent you a message and you were happy for him. Of course, you were! You were friends after all. Friends first, lovers later… But well lovers wasn’t really a good word to use. Because there wasn’t really any love there. Well, not from his side at least. You loved him. Original right? You were the one who brought up the idea in the first place. 

It was after a mission when you both were sitting in your room watching something stupid on TV. And while flipping through the programs you stopped on porn. You couldn’t help the annoyed growled that escaped you. He raised his brow and looked at you questioningly. 

“You don’t like Porn?” He asked, amusement in his voice. You were both pretty close to each other. Bucky loved how you never tiptoed around him, always honest but still caring. 

“Oh, no trust me. I do…” You rolled your eyes and sighed. “It’s just you know... How long do you really need to take care of your own needs?” He snorted making the beer travel all the way back through his nose. “Don’t get me wrong, Bucky. A hand is better than no hand… But you know…” You smirked seeing his amused expression. “I miss the dick.” He couldn’t help but laugh at your simplicity. 

“How about you go on a date with someone? I know the guy from statistics has a crush on you.” You shook your head and took a sip of your yet another beer. You were slowly getting tipsy, which was the reason for this whole conversation. Yes, you were close to Bucky and a very open person, but you would never talk to him about those things sober. Not to him. Not to the guy you had an enormous crush on. But you were just friends and you knew from the fact that he was still not ready for a relationship. 

“No, no hell no. Come on Bucky I don’t have time for dates… Especially not with someone who would not understand my way of living.” Yeah being an Avenger was a hell of a time-consuming job. “You know what I need?” You turned towards him, putting your head on the back of the couch. “A friend with benefits.” He raised his brow, taking the same position as you. “A guy I trust, love in the most platonic way and feel comfortable with. Take that guy and fuck his brain out and vice versa.” He burst out laughing and you couldn’t help but smile at the sound and scene. You loved it when he laughed. He had such a nice, smooth laugh. 

“How about Steve?” You bit your lip and chuckled. “What?”

“I feel he’s a bit too vanilla for me”, his eyes widen and you could swear you noticed him take a deep breath. His pupils got a bit bigger than before, but there was still this amused smile on his face. “I would ask Sam, but I don’t know I see him more than a brother… Fucking him would be awkward.” He chuckled and shook his head in disbelief. “Ghhhh! I need sex!” You groaned annoyed, turning off the porn that was starting to get annoyingly unrealistic. Seriously? What guy can handle two orgasms in a row? 

You finished your beer and opened another one (having a travel fridge next to your coach was the best idea you have ever had) gulping it almost in one shot. 

“How about you, Bucky?” You finally asked, making him shift uncomfortably. “Don’t you need to have some fun?” 

“What makes you think I don’t already?” Your eyes widen but you laughed when he chuckled, shaking his head. “Seriously? What girl would like to do it with me? The ex-Winter Soldier, with this…” He raised his metal arm. Despite the joking tone of his voice, you knew how he hated it. 

“Don’t do that, Bucky!” You whispered, putting a hand on his thigh, making him look at you with seriousness. “You are an amazing guy. Sweet and funny. And this?” you encircled your fingers with his metal ones. A month ago he would probably flinch, but now? He actually enjoyed it. How open you were with him. Not afraid at all. “It’s pretty damn hot.” He raised his brow not expecting this. “Not to mention that you as a whole package is a yummy cookie.” 

“A yummy cookie?” He repeated, the sadness in his eyes disappearing. “And let’s come back to that left-hand thing.” You laughed and laid your head on his chest, trying to hide your embarrassed face. Jesus, he always smelled so good. “No, no, no way I’m letting you drop it.” 

“Well... “ You pulled back and bit your lip nervously. “There is something intriguing about it, you know… It’s a part of you, but so different. Not to mention that it gives this nice cold-hot difference.” You swallowed and took his hand and slowly pulled it up to your throat. You could see the hesitation in his eyes, but he didn’t stop you, trusting that you knew what you were doing. “That’s pretty hot.” A little moan escaped your lips when he clenched his fingers just a little bit. “Any girl would be lucky to be yours, Bucky.” You opened your eyes to meet his blown up irises, staring at your lips. 

“What about you?” He whispered, his hand moving from your throat to the back of your neck. You smiled at him and just kissed him. 

It was that day that all of this happened. It was three months ago and you established rules after your first night. Except for the normal sex-related rules, ins and outs, yeses and nos, there was this one rule. The most important one. If one of us wanted to get out, all they needed to do was say. But this was the problem. As much as you knew you needed to stop this arrangement before it breaks your heart into more pieces than it already has.

But you were just really pathetic. You didn’t want to end it, because you didn’t want him to leave you. Those moments with him were special. During those moments of intimacy, you could imagine that he was your and only yours. And it never mattered that when he left you just spent most of the night crying. Pathetic. You knew that and yet you couldn’t just stop it. 

You looked to the side of the sound and sighed. You shouted to anyone on the other side to come in, and you sat straighter when Bucky walked in. you looked at the clock and you just noticed that it was after 10 PM. Apparently, memories took longer than you expected. 

“How was your date?” You tried to make your voice as flat as possible. He couldn’t find out. If he knew that you felt something for him, you would not only lose the imaginary intimacy but him as well and that you would not survive. 

“Pretty good,” He smiled and you smiled back, faking. You wanted to be a good friend, but the thought of him being happy with some other girl, made you break a little. “She was cute and actually funny.” He leaned and put his head on the back of your couch, accepting the beer you took from the travel fridge. “We’re gonna see each other on Friday.” He sounded happy and excited about it, and you forced yourself to look excited as well. Because you were his friend first. And most importantly. “So… am... “ You frowned, when he turned towards you, with uncertainty written on his beautiful face. 

“Bucky, what’s wrong? You know you can talk to me, right” Your hand travelled to his arm and he smiled slightly. 

“Can we stop it?” Your heart skipped a bit, understanding completely what he meant. “The sex… friends with benefits. I really liked Lucy and I don’t want to…”

“Of course!” You stopped him. Your voice was annoyingly high-pitched. You smiled and finish your beer, taking your hand off his arm. If he noticed your change he didn’t say anything. He just thanked you, and giving you a peck on the cheek, he just left. Leaving you with your heart-broken and tears rolling down your cheeks. 

***

It has been a month and you know you should just let go. But you couldn’t. Not when Bucky and Lucy ‘call me Lu” were sitting in the living room with the rest fo you, watching some movie, you didn’t pay attention to. You hated it, but the girl was really great. Everyone liked her and you could see how Barnes looked at her. She was beautiful. Long blonde hair, with stunning blue eyes, small nose and plum, round lips. She had curves in all the right places. She was just fucking perfect. A bit shy at the beginning but now throwing cheeky comments here and there. Yes, she was lovable, but you couldn’t help but feel jealous. It was immature, you knew. But you loved Bucky before she came along, and you couldn’t help but wonder what if… What if you’d have told him about your feelings. 

“Y/N?” You looked up hearing her voice. Her lovely, angelic voice. “Would you like something to drink?” Of course, she needed to be nice. You forced yourself to smile at her in the most friendly like way. 

‘Thanks, Lu. I think I’ll head to bed.” Everyone looked at you in surprise. It wasn’t even 10 o’clock and none of you had any mission tomorrow. “I don’t feel good. That’s it.”

“You ok?” Bucky asked, voice filled with concern. Why did he have to be so nice? Couldn’t he just be a dick? Hate you? 

“Yeah. I think too much of the chips.” You laughed awkwardly and after saying goodbye to everyone to went to your bed. “Kill me…”

“Excuse me?” You looked up and chuckled and FRIDAY’s voice. “I don’t think I can do that, Miss L/N.”

“It’s ok, FRIDAY. I was talking to myself.” 

“Mrs Potts always tells Mr Stark that it's not a healthy habit. Should I maybe get you an appointment with a psychologist?”

“Gosh!” You laughed out loud at the machine. “No thank you. I am fine.” 

“Are you?” You jump hearing a voice next to the elevator doors. You walked out and looked at Natasha who literally showed up. How the hell was she able to come here before you? “Green is definitely not a good colour on you, and I am not talking about this sweater.” You looked down at what you’re wearing and sighed. Damn, you really loved that one. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, yes play damn. That always worked. You ignored her opened your doors, walking in, happy to see your bed. Yes, this is what you needed. Your comfy bed. 

"Lucy is a nice girl", she started and you just rolled your eyes. 

"I know", you sighed, taking pyjama from under your covers, heading to the bathroom. But this apparently didn't stop Nat, she just followed you in. Great… 

"Then, why are you being a bitch?!" You stopped and turned toward her, meeting with a smirk on her lips. "You lost your chance, you remember what I always told you?"

"Yeah, yeah your brilliant 'Listen, it’s simple: don’t eat his dick, eat his heart' shit…" with no complex what so ever you started to take your clothes off and walked under the shower, enjoying the warm water falling on your stressed shoulders. "But it was never as simple, Nat."

"Love is simple. Whether it's there or it's not…"

"Well, there wasn't" you hissed, letting the water, fall on your head.  "Not from his side… it was only sex. He made that perfectly clear every night he just left. Perfectly fucking perfect!" 

"Come on, Y/N you can't possibly read his mind. I doubt there was nothing there but sex." 

"Well, then fucking believe it!" You punched the glass wall, that was separating you and Nat. You watched the glass shatter the same way as your heart did. The tears running down your cheeks, the blood spreading from your hands, and Nat beside you, pulling you to her with a comforting hug. "I'm sorry, Nat." She shook her head and unable to stand any longer you fall on your knees, pushing her with you. "I fucked up big times, Nat… I should have ended it so much sooner… I… love him so much!" You just kept on crying while Nat tried her best to smoothen you, her heart, breaking just a bit with your pain. 

**

It was another month when you were finally able to act semi-normal seeing Bucky with Lucy. You stayed longer with everyone during movie nights.

You weren't sure how no one never asked you about your hands nor the glass doors to your bathroom that needed to be replaced, but you were sure Nat was behind it. 

You were still falling asleep crying but now you just started to live with it. Yo realised that you lost any chance to ever own his heart. What's worse, you realise you never did own his heart. 

"Y/N", you froze hearing his voice. Well, trying to be ok with his relationship was hard enough, which caused you to spent less and less time with him. You tried your hardest to make sure that you never stayed alone with him. And you did an incredible job with it, until now. 

"Bucky!" You smiled brightly at him, continuing on your sandwich. "Want one? I'm making a peanut butter one."

"Can we talk?" He asked quietly, watching your back. 

"We are talking." You chuckled wanting to get away from the topic you knew he will want to start. "So you want that sandwich?"

"Y/N, damn it, look at me!" You jumped hearing his shout. You slowly put the knife down and turned, and you swallowed seeing his sad expression. "Please… please tell me…" he walked towards you and before you were able to move away he leaned and put his head on your shoulder, sobbing. "What have I done, that you so desperately ignore me… run away from me…" your eyes widen and tears appeared in your eyes once again. No… you never wanted to see him hurt. That was the main reason why you kept on running from him. "What did I do…"

"You haven't done anything, Bucky", your hand landed in his hair, and slowly shuffled it. You closed your eyes when he pulled away from you. You couldn't look at him. Not when you both were so vulnerable. Not when you were so vulnerable. "Jesus, Bucky, nothing of this is your fault…" you opened your eyes and looked into those beautiful blue eyes. 

"Of this? Of what, Y/N? What is happening? I thought we were friends and supposed to tell everything to each other." His hands landed on your arms, the expression on his face showed how lost he really was. 

You took a step back and a deep breath. There was no way of escaping it now. You were trapped in a corner and needed to say everything you tried so desperately to keep to yourself. Afraid of losing your friend. 

“I made a mistake, Bucky…” You whispered, looking away unable to look him in the eyes when you confessed to him. “We decided that this all would just be sex… no feelings, no attachment and I lied to you since the beginning…”

“Y/N”

“No, please…” You shook your head and sighed deeply. “I loved you Bucky… Loved you way back… waaaay back before our little agreement... God!” You exhaled, shaking your head in disbelief, just now realising, really realising how pitiful you were. “Gosh, I’m pathetic… I could never tell you about my feeling because I knew you weren’t ready for any kind of commitment, but I wanted you… Jesus, Bucky I wanted you so much…” You laughed at your stupidity and hid your face in your hands when you started crying. “And it broke my heart every time you were leaving my room, but I prefer that than losing you… But then you met Lucy and fuck! She is perfect Bucky, really. Perfect for you. I see how you look at her. And here I am being selfish again! You’re finally in an amazing relationship and because I wasn’t able to keep my feelings chained, you will now hate me!” You let yourself look back and was met with so much sadness in his eyes. 

“We broke up…” You froze hearing his shredded voice. “She wasn’t ready to be Avenger’s girlfriend…” You opened your mouth to say something but nothing came out. “Every fucking night I walked out of your room, hoping you’ll stop me.” Your eyes widened, and you exhaled when he walked towards you, stopping just in front of you. You looked up into those beautiful eyes and bit your lip. “I came back every night hoping that I would be able to tell you how I felt, but you seem so sure about staying just friends with benefits! Fuck!” With no words more needed he leaned in and attacked your lips. It was different than the previous once. More passionate, more loving. “Fuck, Y/N! I love you damn much!” 

“Well, I guess Nat’s advice is always the best!”

[ikenbar]

Mr. Love: Ike’s Choice CH3 PT11

Warnings: One curse word, Mentions of mugging, A N G S T, Ike finally snapping, annoyingly lovable family members, foreshadowing, and cliffhangers!! :D

(Chapter Three (Victor and Lucien) prologue and part one, and parts two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, and ten here~)

((Please read the author’s note (and the beginning of the story) on chapter one part one if you’re new here :D)) Chapter three:

Part eleven:

Lucien and I walked together into the dining room, where we were met with quite the sight. Big bowls of various vegetables and side dishes took up most of the table. Pans of meats sat in the center, enticing the room with their aroma. 

Sam was pacing back and forth behind the table muttering to himself, Maria tried her best to tell him to stop while wrestling with a very disobedient Lola to get into her highchair. Bart and Ashton sat in their usual seats at the table being absolutely no help at all to the struggling mother, and Adri stood by the entrance of the dining room looking somewhat uncomfortable talking to a familiar, smiling face.

“Chris.” I regarded him and moved to talk to my eldest foster brother. I was stopped by a hand on my sleeve. I looked up to Lucien. He smiled and tugged on my sleeve again. He leaned close to me and whispered in my ear. “Do not forget about what you promised me.” A shiver crept up my spine as my shoulders tensed slightly. He sounded so sweet but there was also a tone of seriousness, almost as if he were almost threatening me. I opened my mouth to respond but I felt another hand wrap around my arm and pull me from Lucien.

“Leave room for Jesus.” Sam growled at Lucien as he pulled me from him, “And then an extra spot for me. And then one for anyone else who wants to join in!” Lucien chuckled and let go of my sleeve. Sam spit out his tongue and pulled me to Chris and Adri. Before we got too close though, I twisted my arm so Sam would face me.

“You don’t need to save me from him, you know.” I scrubbed Sam’s head lightly, “I'm a big girl. I can handle him.”

“I know!” Sam threw my hand off from his head and looked behind him quickly, “I just want Lucien to know that he is messing with more than just you when he hurts you like that.”

“He didn’t hurt me.” I looked back just in time to catch Lucien walking to Maria, offering a hand to help with the screaming Lola, “I was just… just-”

“Ikie!” Chris seemed extra enthusiastic as he approached me with open arms, making me stubble slightly backwards as he embraced me.

“H-Hey, Chris!” I completed Chris’ hug, holding him tightly, “When did you-” Chris tensed at my touch slightly. “Something wrong?” I asked, pulling from his hug to  look at him, “Am I hugging too hard?”

“No.. you… uh.” Chris laughed nervously as he awkwardly stepped backward, “You actually hugged me back. I’m not going to lie, it kind of threw me off!” He rubbed his neck and he laughed even more.

“Yeah.” I sighed heavily, “I’ve been thinking about giving PDA another chance lately.” My eyes drifted to Lucien. He had been able to successfully help Lola into her highchair. She was now giggling and laughing as Lucien wiggled his fingers playfully in front of her. He wore the brightest smile on his face at that moment. I couldn’t help but think about the night before. The image of the face that I had left behind seemed to be the complete opposite of the one he wore now… and I was the cause of that. 

Lucien suddenly turned his head and caught me staring at him. At that moment, he was all smiles. Not a drop of sadness from the night before seemed to have lingered there. Then why do I feel so bad? Why do I feel like something is off? Was it Lucien that was off or was it me? 

Lucien seemed to have caught onto the emotions I had been feeling. He had turned completely around to face me but I wasn’t ready to be asked about my well being. I didn’t even know how I would answer. Instead, I turned to Adri and addressed her kindly.

“So, you met Chris.”

“Yup!” Chris answered for her, “We are having a ball just talking to each other.”

“Yeah!” Adri’s tone seemed forced and over the top as she responded with toxic sarcasm, “I don’t feel like I’m being strangled with positivity at all!”

“That’s the Christopher way!” Chris smiled wide enough to completely close his eyes as he puffed out his chest proudly. I rolled my eyes at the same time Adri had faked a gag. We caught sight of each other and stood awestruck at both of our incredible rudeness to our completely positive brother. Adri snorted and covered her mouth as she laughed hardily.  Chris started laughing along with her, thinking it was his joke that made her drop her regular bad girl facade. A smile flashed onto my face as I watched her laugh. I was normally ridiculed in that family for mocking Chris’ overly positive views. Watching Adri laughing made me feel a soft warmth in my chest.

“Everyone, find a seat and we can get started!” Maria shouted over the side conversations, “I’m so excited! We actually had to pull out another leaf for the table so we could fit all of our guests around it!!” I watched Maria as she spoke. Something about her was off. Her usual cheery grin looked wiry and forced. I wonder if she had gotten any sleep last night or if she had stayed up worrying about me and Adri’s arrival, I sighed as I thought to myself, How selfish am I?! Couldn’t I have just waited out the night instead of adding another thing to Maria’s jam packed plate?

“Come sit next to me, Ri-Ri!!” Chris took Adri by the arm and dragged her towards the table. 

“Uh, ok!” She barely had time to answer as she was forced in a seat next to Chris. She looked up to me. With pleading eyes she mouthed, “Help!” I closed my eyes and held a fist to my chest, saluting her brave sacrifice. I opened one of my eyes in time to see her playfully glaring at me. I opened both eyes and winked at her as I made my way to a seat in the middle of the table. Sam saw my movements and rushed to my side, taking a chair next to me. He beamed as we sat at the table together. Sam’s smile turned into a frown as Lucien sat down in the free chair on the other side of me. I ruffled Sam’s hair a little more as we prepared for Maria’s usual prayer. I reached up to take Lucien’s hand but stopped as Maria called my name.

“Ike.”

“Yeah?”

“Y-your sleeves… they’re rolled up.” Maria’s tone was soft but she obviously wanted something to be done.

“Oh!” I looked down at them and blushed slightly, “Sorry. I’ll pull them down.” My gut turned as I released the fabric down my arms again. I should have thought about how Bart and Maria would have felt about the sleeves. I knew it made them uncomfortable. Damn this stupid selfish mind.

I turned over to look at Bart. He looked away from me and to the floor with no particular expression on his face. I hadn’t talked to Bart at all that night. I felt my eyebrows furrow slightly. Before I could ask, Lucien had taken my hand and Maria started the prayer.

>>>

Dinner had gone swimmingly. Adri felt comfortable enough to tell us a few stories from her past that she found funny. One of them being the spitball incident with Lucien. I struggled very hard to pay attention but my eyes kept shifting to the clock in the corner. Dinner was nearly done and I had no idea what I was going to say to Lucien. 

I contemplated jumping out of the kitchen window to escape it all when a soft, but clear, sneeze came from next to me. I instinctively handed Lucien a clean napkin, keeping my eyes on the clock. “Thank you.” He gratefully took it, “You’ll have to excuse me. I-.”

“Lucien!!” Maria stood up. Her smile finally fell into something that looked more comfortable to her, “You have caught a cold! I told you not to look for Ike in the rain! Now you’ve gone and gotten yourself sick!” I snapped my head to Lucien, who was smiling sweetly towards Maria, clearly avoiding my eyes. 

“Maria, I had an umbrella.” Lucien reassured her, gently guiding her back to her seat, “You have no need to worry.”

“That doesn’t mean you couldn’t have gotten sick from the cold weather!” Maria stood up again and took a closer look at Lucien. 

“Wait,” Chris spoke up with a mouth full of mashed potatoes, “Why did Lucien have to look for Ike? What happened?” My hands clenched at my jeans as the topic was brought back up. Crud. I haven’t even thought of what I’m gonna say to Lucien, let alone my family. Think, Ike. Think.

“It’s obvious, isn’t it!” Sam nervously laughed from next to me, “They were playing hide and seek in the rain!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Sam.” Ashton scoffed, speaking for the first time that night, “Ike is a businesswoman and Lucien is a scientist. They are too old and smart  to play hide and seek in the rain.”

“Thanks, Ashton!” Sam spoke through his teeth angrily, still holding a wide eerie smile.

“You’re welcome.” Ashton hadn’t caught on.

“Yeah, Sam. Of course they wouldn’t!”  Adri rested her head on the palm of her hands, “I they were obviously playing Folkémon Stop and got lost! Me and my friends did that all the time. My friend actually got her mouth stuck on a pole because of it! Wanna hear why?!” I made eye contact with Adri. She winked. It was official. 

Adri was going to make an awesome sister. 

I smiled softly at her. She returned it.

“I do!” Sam said, leaning forward on the table, putting his head in his hands, “Spare no detail!”

“No offence, you two.” Chris politely held up his hand, “But I want to hear Ikie’s story first!” My smile fell.

“Judging my Ike’s expression, she won’t be the one telling it.” Maria’s tone was cold as he checked Lucien’s temperature. I looked at her, slightly taken aback. I thought we had talked and everything was fine! Why was she acting this way? “Lucien, would you mind telling it in her place.”

“I would, but I’m afraid I do not have all the details.” Lucien’s words stopped my heart. D-did he just throw me under the bus? Nice, kind, sweet, Lucien had just ratted me out like a guilty child with a bat and a broken vase? I looked at him, mouth slightly agape. He looked back at me with a warm smile. That son of a-

Maria’s eyes slowly approached mine. The anger in her eyes nearly leveled the room. I had never received that look from Maria. I had seen her use it plenty of times on the boys… on Sam, but I never was at the end of it. 

It was soul sucking.

“You haven’t talked to him yet?” Maria’s voice was low and heavy. I breathed and prepared to stand up for myself. I couldn’t get a word out before Chris interrupted.

“Wait, you were on a date weren’t you?!” He spat as he stared wide eyed at the two of us. 

“Well...” I started, struggling to find the right words. Chris whistled.

“That’s a first! A man asked Ikie out and she said yes!” He smiled and pointed his fork at the both of us, “Oh, wait. Momma is mad. The date went terribly and Ike ran away.”

“No!” I protested, finding my voice, “It was nothing like that!”

“Oh so it went great but you got separated?” Chris continued.

“Not quite.” Lucien chimed in, still smiling that infuriating smile. It was getting harder to breathe as anger toiled in my stomach. There they go again, speaking for me. Giving me no time to think or speak for myself.

“So things went great but Ike ran away?” Chris looked confused for a second but then nodded and snapped his fingers, “Because of her fear of commitment. Of course.”

“Hey!” I snapped, “That’s not-”

“Lucien,” Maria turned Lucien’s gaze towards herself as she put a wet rag on his forehead. Her eyes were full of false sympathy, “Allow me to apologize for Ike’s behavior. She doesn’t nor-”

“ENOUGH!”

I slammed my hands on the table as I stood up, the chair screeching behind me, “I’ve had it with you all shoving words in my mouth!! You guys really want to know why I left Lucien?! 

“It’s because I wanted to!” 

I felt the tenseness in the room rise. “That’s right! I’m a jerk! I’m a rude, awful, emotionless, son of a gun who let the best night of her life slip away because she felt like it! Because she took one look at how good life could be for her and trashed it!” I slammed my fist on the table, causing it to shake and spill glasses. No one moved to pick them up. 

I snapped my head around to look at Maria. “I got mugged the other day!” I said, throwing my arms up. Maria gasped and slapped a hand to her face, “Yup! Straight mugged! A guy pointed a gun to my chest and, when I failed to give in to his demands, he fired!” A gasp circled the table, “Lucky for me, he missed and got the attention of a nearby officer, who arrested him on the spot. So, you’ll have to forgive me for being untrusting!!” I immediately regretted my words as I watched the look of fear further spread across Maria’s eyes. “I’m fine!” I quickly added, waving my hands slightly and backing up from the table, “I-... they caught the guy. It was... some idiot I had fired a while back.” I lied through my teeth as I shifted in my shoes. 

Maria’s hand shakily fell from her face. Her eyes filled with tears. I looked around the table. She wasn’t the only one who looked to be on the verge of tears. Bart already had some slipping down his face. Chris was staring at me, eyes blanked and clouded over. Sam and Adri looked at me with confused and serious faces. I didn’t dare look at Lucien’s face. I instead shook my head and looked down. You were just thinking about how much you worry Maria. Now look at you, telling her that you’re being targeted! You really are a dummy. I sighed, Well, I’m in this deep.

“I ran away that night because I thought it was too good to be true.” I finally looked up to Lucien. He was looking at me with a very serious expression. “Lucien, you thought of everything.” I raised my hands again and let them fall limply to my side, “You found a place that felt like home, shops filled with ridiculous items, great food, and places to stop and appreciate it all. How on earth can you learn how to do all that by spending one night with someone like me?” Lucien opened his mouth to answer but I held a hand up. “That question was rhetorical, dummy.” Though I insulted him, I still felt a soft glow in my chest, “You were the first guy to ever stick around after dinner and, after what had happened with the mugger, I was almost certain that was because you made this big stupid plan to... hurt me.”

“Swear jar.” Ashton spoke up from his corner.

“But you weren’t!” I sighed, “And I know that now. But at the time, I let my thoughts get the best of me and I left. I’m sorry I left you like that. I was just…” I paused and closed my eyes, “... scared.”

A silence settled in the room as I finished talking. I opened my eyes in time to see Lucien reach out to me. I immediately pulled my hand back and grabbed my nearly empty beer can. “I need some air.” I grumbled, turning from the table. Chairs squeaked as people moved to stand up. Narrowly avoiding hands reaching to grab me, I walked through the doorway and I beelined directly to the door. 

“Ike!” Maria called after me, “Wait!” 

“I’m fine!” I stopped where I was and sighed. “I just need some time-” I turned right into a warm chest and, immediately, I was pulled into a strong embrace. Bart’s familiar dry scent wafted into my nose as the air was pulled out of me from his ever increasing grip. I felt another force hit my back as Maria joined the hug. Soon Sam came racing in and joined them too. Then Chris did, squeezing Sam and Bart closer to me as he had no room to actually touch me. 

“I’m not really a hugger so I’ll stay back here!” Adri called from the dining room, giving me a thumbs up, “But I’m here for you, buddy!” I sighed and relaxed, letting them hug me even tighter. Lucien appeared in the doorway. Instead of joining the huddle, he leaned on the door and looked at us fondly, letting my family enjoy their hug and the warmth together.

(Next)