#legit ppl be throwing words around

[energysoda]

I hate twitter me and some other people are getting called proshippers because we read your fic. Yet nobody is telling us how its proshipping. So annoying 😒

Oh shit, I'm so sorry that's happening. I didn't even realize bc I don't have Twitter. But yeah, I don't write proship, don't condone it, and like yes if u wanna get technical, William's behavior in the fic is problematic, but both him and y/n are adults and shit and consenting and the type of shit that's usually associated with the label of proship (pedophilia, incest, beastiality, etc) is not a fair comparison. also like there are so many fics on ao3 that are millions of times more problematic than my fic and aren't even tagged right or given proper content warnings that are way more deserving of that criticism. but yeah once again, so sorry that's happening ppl rlly do be just saying shit without any backup or explanation huh 🙁 if u have a link to any of the threads or screenshots of them or whatever, I'd be interested in seeing tho as u asked this on anonymous I get why you wouldn't want to (plus to be honest, it prob would be better for me not to see it, rejection sensitivity dysphoria is a bastard forreal)

[icewindandboringhorror]

Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)

[hoshiyoshis]

btw on a serious note i do like mark’s little comment in golden hour about how we live in a world where we pretend to be anybody but ourselves. ik he’s usually written off as a silly guy who says words just to say them, but honestly idk i feel like the fact that he doesn’t always articulate himself perfectly shouldn’t overshadow what he’s actually saying.

[scribe-of-hael]

I think what sucks most about Earthspark is the potential of hitting topics that honestly I feel kids now adays should be able to learn about.

Like what happened with hastag and Starscream's history. Somtimes bad ppl hurt us, it hurts when we aren't believed. It hurts us when we are haunted by them. It is ok to talk about them and even not feel safe around the person that might have hurt us.

Starscream is bewildered that a child of all beings BELIEVES him and wnates to hear him out. He is clearly conflicted and he know she other kids have a bias because of the comics they read and what they know.

Despite being told who he was, he deliberately saved Hashtag when he was the one MOST at risk. The dwellers wasn't going to hurt her, it was gonna eat him. But he risked his life anyway. In that moment, he proved he is not as selfish as they come like Thrash said.

Starscream instead of fighting or even willingly going with Megatron said "no. You hurt me. I do not feel safe with you around me" and fucked off. No fight, no snark. Even wishing Hashtag well.

I legit wanna throw hands with whoever decided to take this moment , and THROW IT IN TRASH. By making it seem it was all a trick, and he never meant it hurts so fucking much.

And yes, I do understand that sometimes people who have been abused become abusers themselves. It happens! But you have NO fucking set up from a writers perspective to pull this shit. And doing it exposition of -

"Starscream does what he always does"

Is the laziest cop out writing i have seen since supernatural s12 is is fucking awful. There is no other word for it. It is striaght up awful writing.

It would have been better if you SHOWED how and why Starscream ends up this way but you DON'T. There for its not earned or even fucking explained other than. Its shoehorned in.

"It's what a Starscream would" STOP. Stop , just stop trying to constantly make the same character in every universe. Or at the very least explain WHY or fucking how!

One reason why I dread watching Armada is knowing that in Energon and Cybertron they just completely reset his character. This WHOLE ARC OF GROWTH, back to what a "classic" Starscream would be.

I do not know why Starscream is unable to be given a better arc than any other character or villain. Esspcially when Megatron is allowed to be better in ES just because and Starscream isn't.

There was so much set up for good lessons and story telling. They just completely trashed it for something less than digestible.

[small-sinclair]

Could you write Bo x insecure S/O (but like super duper extra fluffy). Idk why but Soft Bo is legit the best and not enough ppl write him like that.

Headcanons or dabbles - anything would be great, I trust that you know best. Anyways, thank you xoxo

Hewos! Hope you like vampires🩵

Bo x plus size fem!y/n

Contains: blood, biting, killing, she/her pronouns used, body shaming (not from Bo), not sure if I like the ending

Welcomed readers: @fluffy-little-demon, @sketchy-rosewitch, @lovely-cryptid

Bo POV:

Bo watched carefully as the new group in town moved through the streets. They were calling out for someone, but wax doesn’t talk back… it never has talked back unless you listen carefully. Still, Bo watched from the shadows in his black suit and tie, his fingers fidgeting with his father’s sun ring. He was busy thinking who was dead, who was art, and who was food.

Then Bo saw her in knee-high jean shorts, bright yellow t-shirt with cute butterflies on it, and a ball cap over her hair. The breeze carried her scent, and it sent shivers down his spine; he found her.

He found his wife.

Reader POV:

As soon as you and your friends entered the House of Wax, a smile crossed formed. Not was the air conditioner running at high to beat the heat, but there was a stair case made out of wax. The art was beautiful and bright, and it was paused in the 70s style.

“Y/n, wait!” You turned your head at Liza. “Look! It’s you!” She and her boyfriend started snickering as she pointed at a pig’s head on the table. “They knew you were coming!”

You hugged yourself as you shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah, funny, Liza.” You move farther into the museum and looked at the waxed bookcase. “All of this is made with wax,” you whispered to yourself.

“Bet you wished it was made outta chocolate!” Marty, Liza’s boyfriend, laughed, his friends joining you.

You bit back your tongue and kept looking at the art and pieces. Under you, the floor creaked and cracked.

“Hear that?” One of his friends whispered, making you pause. “Oh, it’s not an earthquake— it’s just y/n walking around!”

Guess we know what broke the camel’s back.

You spun on your heels and hurried towards the door to find that mechanic—

When you opened the door, you bumped into a strong chest and stumbled back. You looked up to see a man dressed all in black with smoothed back from grease, and you could smell smoke and oil over his clothing, but it had a old country boy feeling to it.

He was startled that you were running out as soon as he was about to lay out his words for you in sugar, that was until Liza shouted, “Look out for Rhino!” Then they laughed you out, pushing past him and took off to the car shop.

He looks between your run and at the group. As much as he wanted to rip out all of their throats with his teeth, he decided against it. Instead, he put his fingers in his mouth. His whistle echoed throughout the building, and it silenced the laughter. Their eyes looked at him as he loosened his tie and pulled down his cuffs. His ocean blue eyes shimmered as they faded to a burning fire red, eyes twitching in anger. How dare they say that about you…

His boots echoed as he walked into the room. He turns, closes the door, and locks it. “Vincent!” Bo snapped, jolting the group’s shoulders. He takes off his jacket and throws his tie. His red eyes burned brighter, a snarl leaving him as he watched the group coward away.

As soon as he saw Vincent, he felt his fangs showing. “Now, we don’ take kindly t’folks like yourself.” As he talked, his boots echoed as he walked towards the group. They looked like cowardly sheep by the way the moved closer together. Bo could’ve laughed at the way the bigger one was trying to protect Liza. “Be a shame, though. To waste good food lik’ yer-selfs.”

“You’re-you’re a—“

“Aw, sweetheart,” Bo hummed, his drawl heavy as he and his brother corner the group. “Vampires lik’ us are rare. So… consider you lucky to see us.”

Vincent placed a hand over the mouth of one three men and lifted his mask. Long, pearly fangs showed before his bit down hard on his neck. Bo smiled as their screams echoed.

Let the games begin.

***************

You were crying in the church next to the waxed statues in the pews. You found out that they were bodies real fast, but you didn’t seem to care much as your cries echoed around the church. You didn’t know how long were you crying in a ball behind the casket. You heard the whispers and murmurs on the tape reply twice already.

Then you hear the door open and boots clicking towards the casket. “Darlin’?” The man called. “Darlin’? Ya in here?” He didn’t wait for you to answer as he rounds the coffin and finds you curled into your lap crying. He frowns and sits next to you. “Now, why is a beautiful creature like you cryin’?”

“I’m-I’m not beautiful,” you cried. “I’m fat and ugly and-and—“

“An’ t’right size to show some lovin’,” he interrupted, saying those words like it’s a fact.

“You’re just saying that to-to be nice,” you sniffled. “You don’t mean it.”

He chuckles and leans back on his mother’s coffin. “Nah, honey. Can’t lie in front of my mama.” You glanced at him, and your eyes grow wide as you saw his hands and neck covered in dried blood. “Mama didn’t raise a liar,” he drawls. “I swear to ya, honeybee,” he glanced at you and flashed you a smile. His white canine s longer than normal… but you weren’t afraid. “I think ya t’prettiest thin’ I’ve ever seen. Shit, ya put ol’ Ms. Ambrose to shame.”

You laughed at his comment and shook your head. “Bet you charm all the ladies.”

“Yeah, I do,” he answers, “but I reckon I found myself an angel righ’ here.”

You look at him up and down. “Are you… flirting?”

“Am I doin’ good?” He leans forward and looks up at the altar. “I hope ‘m doin’ good.” He looks around and sighs softly. “I bet you saw the people…”

“The waxed graves?” You wiped your eyes. “Yeah. But it doesn’t scare me. I just… just needed to cry. Besides,” you lowered your eyes, “I’m a rhino.” Then you rolled your eyes. “And a southern vampire is going to kill me.”

Bo shook his head and moved to be kneeling in front of you. He took both your hands and said, “Darlin’, what do you want?”

“What—?”

“What do I need to give ya?” Bo asked again. “The stars? Moon? Shit, ‘ll give ya my dead-beating heart! Anythin’ just to see ya smile.”

“How about your name?” You asked, feeling how sticky his hands were from blood.

“Bo,” he said, bringing up your hand and kissed it. “Bo Sinclair.”

“Y/n,” you said, smiling. “I’m y/n.” Then your smile fell. “You going to kill me now?”

He shakes his head. “Be a shame if I did.” He stands and offered you help. “Wanna take you home, sugar. Wanna show you off to every person an’ my brothers. You’re just so damn cute an’ beautiful.”

You looked at him and the blood on his chin. “Promise?”

“Cross my heart,” he whispered. You didn’t hesitate as you took his hand. “I’ll treat you so right everyday.”

“Everyday?”

Your hopeful eyes, your voice… Bo is falling apart for you so fast. “I swear to ya, y/n. Now, come on— Vince’s wanna t’meet ya.”

[robloart]

PLS TAG UR DISCOURSE

I just have to say this bc I started following some tags that have brought discourse on to my dash but after that I'm gonna block as many discourse tags as I can.

This weird ass way that y'all approach fiction by trying to sus out what trauma other ppl have so u can make sure they're a "good person" by ur own personal and arbitrary standards is also just incentivizing ppl to invade other ppl privacy and contribute to the rising surveillance state we live in. You all just cops. And no fellow black ppl that does not undermine police brutality bc these are all connected issues. Not when the threat of police violence is the first tactics used against anyone who ppl think they hold moral high ground over. And also I'm black trying to call the cops on me contributes to the threat or racialized police violence which happens to me bc I don't care what fiction ppl read btw.

Y'all are putting children in harms way by making them think predators are just ppl on the internet who don't have the same DNI criteria as them. Y'all are putting them in harms way by applauding vigilantism and sending them into the sights of ppl y'all are entirely convinced are dangerous predators.

Be uncomfortable with whatever fiction u want big bruh no one cares but damn stop invading ppls privacy sheesh. Y'all are terrible ppl u can sit on ur high horse all u want but causing harm to real ppl is always evil and I'm specifically using the word evil since y'all love to use a christofascist framework to engage in fiction.

If fiction effects reality then conservatives are correct when they say that gay/trans character made their child gay or trans.

"There's nothing wrong with being gay or trans" u might say and ur right but they still aren't wrong by ur logic. And we all know if u give them an inch...

If fiction effects reality why aren't more ppl empathetic and understanding even tho children's programming has been that way for decades.

If fiction effects reality why havent cartoons like Tom and Jerry had kids throwing knives and skillets at each other?

If fiction effects reality ur favorite video game just caused another mass shooting.

No more "but the jaws movie, cats can drink milk, rabbits eat carrots" first of all absolutely none of that has to do with the fiction y'all are so up in arms I legit haven't seen anyone try to ban any of those properties so it doesn't belong in this conversation.

Second yes pls ignore all the nuance with the jaws movie like how ppl were already reasonably afraid of and misunderstood sharks it's why the movie did so well in the first place, or the very recent shark attacks that took place during that time, or beach vacations being presented as an affordable option for middle class families, or pools being left abandoned bc of desegregation. Nope none of that happened just the movie and that absolutely turned regular ppl into shark hunters out of now where. Yup!

Ppl know very little about animals. It's why Disney can fabricate information in a documentary and get away with it for years. That isn't fiction effecting reality thats a dangerous mix of both a trusted source of information intentionally spreading misinformation and ppl taking this information at face value something y'all shouldn't even be doing when u watch or engage with ANY MEDIA. Ppl being on average incurious about things they see on TV doesn't mean their morals are gonna suddenly change. Also PROPAGANDA ISNT FICTION. propaganda is the intentional spread of misinformation presented as fact with the intent of preying on ppl fears and prejudices. And it can come in all forms but it SHOULDNT be classed as fiction even when presented through fiction.

If fiction effects reality u can't like fictional serial killers or u apparently will be batting for the next ted bundy. So no more tojis self shippers.

If fiction effects reality all u Miguel lovers better be careful around an irl child abusers u might fall in love. Also the way y'all hate proshippers but are romanticisming a man through his interactions with a teenager is YIKES... OKAY

Also dark fiction isn't the only thing under attack any more. The more chronically online are definitely still yelling about lolisho or whatever but it's spread to the more average consumer and now ppl are attacking just regular old furries again. Which has given me whiplash to witness it's insane. Ppl are legit bullying furries again.

Not to mention the antis in the furry scenes whose entire logic is "if ur animal looks too much like an animal u must like animals"...okay...and something about animal genitalia also.

Everybody so creative!!! So many rules for how to make the most morally righteous fiction so everyone knows ur a good boy who says his prayers.

ALOT of y'all are still religiously programmed to believe ur bad thoughts are satanic. And anyone who has them must be demonic. It's scary how many religious wording y'all use.

Theres a reason why everytime one of y'all go on a tangent about how Japan is full of sick freaks the ppl applauding u are other teenagers and xenophobic white nationalists or teenagers on their way to be xenophobic white nationalists.

There's a reason why sasaki and Miyano got banned before any of the weird gross stuff y'all hate.

There's a reason why while y'all were applauding a furry porn site being blocked in Virginia and in that same anti-porn bill was anti trans sentiments.

There's a reason why payment processors are slowly making it impossible to monetize sex work but starting with all the gross fiction y'all hate and y'all are cheering but aren't realizing that payment processors ARE DICTATING WHAT U CAN AND CANT BUY WITH YOUR MONEY.

There is no amount of influencing a show can do to make someone into the pedophile, rapist, abusers y'all keep claiming ppl are. UNLESS they are already a pedophile abuser or a rapist which is ONLY known if the express the desire to harm real ppl or have already harmed real ppl. Also u can't bully a real pro contact pedophile into not being a pedophile btw!! They do not care, they usually commit multiple offense leave prison(if convicted) and DO IT AGAIN. there is usually no shame involved so no amount of "ew a PDF file 🤢🤮🤢🤮" is gonna stop a real predator like y'all are not only wasting ur breathe but also look really weird being scared to use the correct terms.

I say all this to say. I'm tryna make art and have fun here but Jesus following my fave tags has me inundated with discourse all of a sudden. Can y'all like TAG UR DISCORSE AS DISCOURSE so I can follow the tag but block ur crazy ramblings??? 😭 PLSSS TAG UR DISCOURSE I DONT WANNA SEE IT!!!!!

[sunset-synthetica]

Oh my fucking god, I cannot fucking STAND the way people just throw around the word think, esp in the TF fandom. Ppl will legit call Orion Pax a twink despite him being……not…qualified…at all……and I’m gonna go fucking insane bdhdjfjdbhfjfjfjdjsjjsichskahcs RAAAAAHR

RIGHT LIKE THATS NOT A FUCKING TWINK 😭😭

[ourladylennon]

my favorite stories from Pete's book about the absolute menace that John was throughout their friendship

john persuading pete & his posse to use their allotted church donation money to buy to candy instead

spending sunday school by loudly chewing gum & popping bubbles to upset their group leader but she was too nice to throw it away so she confiscated the gum instead, promising to “give it back”

“all of us, and john most especially, used to derive enormous pleasure from pressing the remnants of gum into Mrs. Clark’s large, tender hands.”

john not knowing or caring what the words to the church hymns were and making up his own

they got banned...

from the church

playing chicken by swinging from a tree on a rope IN FRONT OF A DOUBLE DECKER BUS

trying to fight Pete for calling him “Winnie”

deciding they would solidify their friendship by cutting their arms and becoming blood brothers

john brought a fucking butter knife

john and his one brain cell convincing pete & co. to set ablaze a 20 ft pile of rubbish reserved for the celebration of a national holiday prematurely.

 ppl were so upset they were using their URINE to try and put out the fire

trespassing on a housing development only to be chased by a security guard who was sick of their shenanigans but he couldn’t catch up

when the guard finally corralled them into one of the houses, they hid in the attic and john scared the man off with ghost noises

later on they caught the guard using the bathroom which was basically a trench with a board over it and proceeded to drop clumps of grass on his head to scare him and it made him fall...into the poop ditch.

convincing their classmate to hide in a hollow pillar in their classroom to prank the teacher

the student passed out, literally fell out of the wall and then the teacher yelled at the student to stop fooling around and get in his seat

turning in his religious paper with this enthralling excerpt: “on the road to Damascus a burning pie flew out of the sky and hit St. Paul right between the eyes,” in a contest to see who could turn in the most preposterous work without getting caught cause their teacher didn’t pay attention

convincing their entire class to wear white collars they made out of strips of cereals boxes so they looked like a class full of vicars

like they legit collected cereal boxes and sat their asses down to cut out all these collars like plz the dedication to tomfoolery

pete finding a treasure trove of lunch meal tickets in the school’s trash to which he and john started peddling them to schoolmates for money on the DL

using their profit to buy candy and john sharing it w/ Pete & others like ok win my heart you generous little fuck

signed up to host a booth at the school’s fundraising festival but the booth was actually a dart stall with caricatures of teachers for kids to throw darts at and the school had no idea :-)

at the school assembly that followed, the headmaster announced...to the entire school & staff...that the festival had been a “resounding success and had raised an unprecedented amount of revenue for Quarry Bank,” thanks to "the two boys whose stall had broken all previous records"

“on any given afternoon throughout that summer holiday, each of us could count on finding most if not all of the others [...] chatting, smoking, and sunbathing at The Bank. Not least of the attractions was the steady stream of female visitors, often there for the express purpose of flirting with John Lennon.” same, honestly

john nobly deciding to go in first to be caned by the headmaster and still finding a way to fuck w Pete by emerging "from his ordeal on his hands and knees, moaning and groaning as if maimed for his life. [...] Yet even as he crawled whimpering away on all fours, John couldn't help but crack a smile"

john literally pissing himself and blaming it on a roof leak

when john outwitted some bullies who were chasing them when he “suddenly executed a spectacular leap and disappeared down the stairwell” from the top of the double decker bus and fooled them into thinking he hopped off when in reality he jumped down to the first level and hid between two old ladies as a shield. thanks grandmas

being such troublemakers that they had to stay after school several days a week and were in a “virtually permanent state of detention” until the school was so done w their shit that john & pete basically invented getting expelled bcuz they literally didn’t know what to do w them anymore

years later when Pete was graduating from police school and “he glanced up to see John, Paul, and George with buckets on their heads and mops over their shoulders, parodying our parade from Paul's roof. Needless to say, it was all I could do to keep a straight face and remain in step with my fellow cadets”

and to sum it all up:

all the times he made Pete laugh so hard he couldn’t breathe: “‘squeaking’ was John’s word for this last phenomenon - the high pitched noises I'd make while gasping for air. ‘Let’s hear you squeak, then, Pete,’ John would say, deliberately winding me up yet more, until I’d not only writhe helplessly on the floor, but would actually develop excruciating stomach cramps and a temporary blindness brought on by my uncontrollable tears of laughter. Thanks to John, I almost died laughing at least a thousand times” ofc he did that :’)

[redxblueihateloveyou]

1/2 "Explore the fuck was that" Xiaoge is not Xiaoge and talking is not the problem here. It's literally everything thats the problem. Also like you I've also read all the books, but failed to put into words why Xiao Yu Liang's and Huang Jun Jie's Qilings didn't give me any divergence from the original character despite the changes, while others did and pretty drastically. I thought it was a bit irrational on my part, but you just sorted it all out so effortlessly I'm a bit jealous

Lol I said the exact same thing, the talking and the phone was not a problem as some say, he has a phone in the book too at some point and talks more than you'd actually think, it's just that literally nothing about him is Zhang Qiling. Literally not one vibe or even tiny feeling. I don't know how that happened honestly.

AAAAAAAAA I saw the smile comments too lmao. I was like who's gonna tell them. Not only he smiles, he's full on laughing in the 2nd book already, when Wu Xie is using his spit as a lotion lmao. And Wu Xie was so happy about, he was like "I saw him smile before, but it was always so bitter and cold, this was the first time he smiled genuinely, he just needs to spend more time with him, we'll get him there" T_T Before that his smiling was legit a bit scary tho, sometimes brash, like when he told him about the stairs and he went "oh really?" haha

I thought about it and I honestly have no idea about the reference point for some people. I think maybe they go from that first adaptation? Maybe they think it's how he is in the book? Idk. It just weirds me out that I feel like some created some their own picture in their head and then judge everything from there throwing "thats ooc" left and right. Like this "Xiao Ge doesn't smile thing". Maybe it's because of the "Poker-face" thing, but do they know that "Men You Ping" doesn't actually mean that, it was just the closest thing you could come up with with english alternative to keep the nickname short (like I doubt it would read well if he kept calling him a bottle xD). Like according to Wu Xie since the very first book, his hubby can't even lie, so he's definitely not a poker face at all. He also gets pissed pretty easily and he likes to fool around sometimes too (like troll Wu Xie and Fatty obviously).

He's also not emo and not the "mysterious hero from some romance", not a stone and not a zooty. I don't know where this all came from tbh.

I can really debate 24/7 about this, but they're 100% Qilings, just slightly changed and softened accordingly to what they'd be like at this point of their relationship, if he did write it in (and I'm like pretty sure I'm right about this). It's the way they behave, how they act in certain situations, how they're with Wu Xie, how they're with other people, the right amount of sass and being done with everything, just the overall picture, the "you're an idiot, but you're my whole world". But also you know, that strange feeling that Wu Xie describes, like "when he's there, everything is suddenly alright" lol (just the magical safety vibe esp in SOP). I literally don't know how ppl who read the whole thing watched them and thought "thats not right". It's the fucking overall feeling of.. yes, i'm watching Zhang Qiling.

Just change the book's impending doom of tragical "you're my whole world, but I can't stay and there's no way for this to work" to "we actually have a future and I want to stay in our home with you" and that's basically Yuliang's and Junjie's versions (one on the way, one fully there by the end). But even if for some reason you can't accept this, I still don't get how some could hate it, cause overall they still have basically everything they need. Unlike others who are way off in my opinion, bc of the weird templates they are.

And about "Explore the fuck was that" (lol I'm gonna use this title from now on) seriously, no offense to this creation and everyone who liked it (no judging here for real, everyone likes what they like), I'm not gonna heavily diss anyone or anything, I don't really care for the thing, just telling the truth. No one who's participated in this thing have a fucking idea about the characters they're playing or writing about.

I mean, as a fan many things that were adapted from books, I already do not care for minor divergence or even bigger once, if it makes sense and you see the care and understanding of the characters, but sadly here it felt like no one cared. Like for example honestly if someone asked me what would you choose "watching wu xie and xiao ge but not 100% sticking to the plot" or "loosely watching the plot, but it's not wu xie and xiao ge", I'm gonna pick the first option.

And some will say that's it's only the writers/directors mistakes for not explaining or guiding actors etc, but to be honest it's not completely true, bc as we know many actors if they really care before taking on the role actually try to do a research about the character and read the material to understand what they're playing. Especially if it's such iconic characters of a franchise Сhina's been going crazy over for like a decade.

Like how the hell happened that Zhu Yilong for example while playing embodied all the Wu Xie's traits througout the whole book series from behaving exactly like young Wu Xie did in certain needed parts to going to the cold, strategic and rational old self in others, I mean, they could've just go with the "Restart" one, where not much happens and he could've played just that. But literally each time he did something, I was like "yeah, that's my boo". And that wasn't the part of this exact book, it was part of Wu Xie. Like the way he behaved, acted in some previous situations that you know its him. That's happening only when the actor knows who he's portraying.

Or Yuliang knowing and loving and feeling the character he plays, because he wanted to know and cared.

It's just strange to me, bc if they're not making it for the fans, then for whom do they even make it? For themselves? It's really stupid no matter how you look at it. Like your success depends on it, so what's the point in sinking your own ship I will never get.

I also do not get how could they just fail literally everything. Like casting was a miss already, but good acting and chemistry and putting character's soul in it could've make it great still, but they have literally none of anything, it's just fascinating to me. I just don't think I ever seen something like that, it's kinda funny.

But this is like once again just my opinion. Like everyone is free to think what they think, but maybe just stop yelling "OOC" without knowing the original character, cause maybe it's not really OOC. Like book Xiao Ge is not exactly what many ppl claim him to be really.

[mandareeboo]

Have you seen the new season of Carman Sandiego. Please tell me you're seen it. You gotta see the new season, it's everything we've wanted. Also, basically the whole season is Holloween themed. (Also also have a good day and good vibes)

Just finished it!!! Aaaa it was so good! I loved the themeage going on, and watching Chase start to realize he was wrong. 

Well, last season I gave a bullet point list, so this season I did the same! Here’s random shit I screamed about throughout the episodes. =)

The gentle hitch in Carmen’s voice as she says “I… have his eyes.” Aaaaaaaaa

Fucking Fire Lord Zuko’s voice as some twink named Spinkick. I’m SCREAMING.

Carmen snarking about codenames like she wasn’t raised as Black Sheep like GIRL.

Carmen being offended at breaking into her potential mom’s house. Idk why I just love that touch. She grew up with thieves for family, where stealing was just normal, but picking mommy’s lock is crazy.

Every time Brunt tries to pronounce a foreign word it is. Art. Por faYvor. Shadow SAAN.

“There’s nothing here to steal!” -GESTURES AT TROPHY WALL-

Carmen just. Getting adopted by a luchadora.

Everyone getting all dressed up for Halloween and then Brunt just. Being a cowboy.

The fact that V.I.L.E. Heads really have nothing better to do with their days than play dress-up and Halloween games is great.

Them casually confirming they seek out young orphans with no support system and groom them like DAMN was not expecting it laid out like that.

That art curator lady throwing that priceless taser artifact at Zack and Ivy only for it to break was just. So funny? I’m sure it wasn’t REAL or she wouldn’t risk it but the scowl as Ivy says, “hope that wasn’t worth a lot?” was amazing.

Once a season or so Carmen gets the absolute shit kicked out of her and it’s just. Really troubling to watch? They don’t mess around when she gets wounded goddamn.

For a second I legit thought that Sonia was gonna fly outta that plane and die and I was NOT prepared for that angst.

Ivy and Zack tryna hijack a plane is so weirdly pure. They really will do anything for Carmen.

Listen full disclosure I’d love if it turned out Cookie Booker was Carmen’s mom simply bc she’s voiced by the original Carmen Sandiego (and it’d make her stealing the V.I.L.E. intel even more ironic) but I know the chances that’ll happen are basically none.

The slooooow roll of the window before Carmen asks him where Julia is and HIM ANSWERING AKSMDOCLSODKCS I love the cop-criminal dynamics in this show

“YOU WISH TO MOCK MY DRIVING SKILLS NOW?” “Do we, Carm? He’s kinda rockin’ it.” Zack is. A fucking gift.

The fucking. The fucking candy bowl. V.I.L.E. has a goodie bowl. No I will never be over it.

I thought Shadowsan was a silly name but now we’ve got The Troll and honestly?? He won. He lost but he won.

Crawfish King out here making tickets 100,000 each but he using sheet ghosts and dollar store pumpkins. I know it’s for charity but bro c’mon, dig into your personal funds a bit.

Every single time they see red Ivy and Zack just HAVE to say it’s Carmen’s color like it’s Vantablack and she’s the douche who owns it and it’s. Amazing.

Paperstar continues to be That Bitch no one wants to work with

The put a DRONE in a SHEET alsmsclsodkcs

Forget all the zany ass supervillians the cleaners are the most terrifying ppl in V.I.L.E.

Look, I ship Julia and Carmen but Carmen and Tigress have ABSOLUTELY had hate sex at some point. Same with Carmen and Paperstar. There’s just. Way too much going on there.

I NEVER FUCKING REALIZED THAT PAPERSTAR WAS VOICED BY KIMIKO GLEN UNTIL JUST NOW??????????? Took me three seasons to hear the Lena in there rip.

Brunt being willing to buy snacks for “trick-or-treaters” is fucking hilarious. What if someone HAD come. What if they got an operative home early. Was she really willing to hand out candy to strangers.

The amount of effort they put into trying to keep each chase scene interesting is great. They have to do a LOT of running animations and they keep putting little touches in to keep it from getting absolutely dull.

Mime Bomb hating Neal the Eel is great

Zari making a bunch of banana puns to razz Chase is great

Hideo just. Casually knocking a police officer unconscious.

Chase FINALLY starting to realize that Carmen isn’t some super wicked supervillain is great. I love how it’s played out. I love how you can SEE it sink in as he remembers Julia’s words, his realization that she was RIGHT and he BRUSHED HIS PARTNER OFF.

MIME BOMB JUST CASUALLY ABANDONING SHIP WAS FUCKING HILARIOUS, HE WAS SO DONE

Chase recognizing Neal’s escape with Crackle’s in season one was great, he’s finally putting shit together.

That shot of Player hovering over his computer while watching shit go down is really good? You can see the tension in him as he watches his closest friend commit serious high-stakes crime.

They just fucking???? Tasered her????? She didn’t attack anyone, she didn’t fight, she just looked at Roundabout right and they zapped her ass, holy fuck.

Shadowsan ABSOLUTELY volunteered to give Roundabout the talking down of a lifetime. He enjoyed every second of it.

If they even SQUINT at Graham wrong Carmen may actually commit real life murder.

[rip-a-dip-dip-you-potato-chip]

what have I created?

idk if yall like this, but they just exist not i guess :/

ok the the first one is Royalty AU

first things first, when I say Royalty AU, I don't mean the classic shit we've all become accustomed to. Im talking about the good old Chinese royalty! And I want to emphasize that these guys will/should be dressed in century appropriate attire. As someone thats read a handful of 'marinette, princess of china' fics from the ML Fandom, I've noticed a common trend. Marinette wouldn't be in the culturally appropriate clothes, always ballgowns. Not that there's something wrong with it, its just most of if not all these fic are set in China, so I'd expect Chinese royalty to dress as THERE dress code calls for. And since this AU takes place far in the past like, it won't make sense for any of the characters to be in royal clothing that wasn't from there region. I'm not trying to white knight/gatekeeping. Im Guyanese not Chinese. But since JTTW and Monkie Kid take place in China, it's only right. In my opinion that it. You don't have to outright agree with me.

With out of the way, it's time for that good old AU crack

- Wukong is the king of the Flower Fruit kingdom(or a different one if you'd like, again I'm only familiar with what western culture has taught me, but I'll try my hardest) 

- he’s single but rumor has it he used to/still is dating the Vigilante/thief The Six Eared Macaque

- *chants ShadowPeach violently* 

- no one know whether it true or not

- On of his wanders around the kingdom he finds an abandoned baby in a basket. 

- and no shit sherlock it's fucking baby Xiaotian 

- I think we all know where this is going because i'm a simp for Monkey Dad & Monkie Son shenanigans

- Xiaotian becomes prince

Shit, ill be referring to Xiaotian as Mk from now on, I mentioned this before in a fic I wrote for lmk that Mk's a nickname for Xiaotian for some reason- wait i don't have to explain my self to you people!

- Sun loves his son

- MK is treated differently by staff and others because he's not blood related to the king

- no one mistreats MK per say, because there King loved his adopted son, but words are said behind his back

- Sometimes MK hears what’s said, and he feels as if he won't live up to his dad’s legacy.

- He meets Mei during a festival

- Mei is from a noble family, that wouldn't mind if they got a connection into the royal family.

- but it becomes hella clear to Mei’s family very fast that the two are just friends, and will always will be. but hey there daughter is bffs with the prince so that's a plus.       

_

- the Demon Bull Family is rules a kingdom as well, I dont/am not creative enough to think of a name I leave that to you.

- It's a common misconception that DBK is a tyrant, when he’s not. 

- most of the time...

- they have been at war with the Monkey King for some time now and settled for a peace agreement.

- that agreement being there sons to marry

- oooo original i know

- MK and Red Son are roughly the same age, Mk being 20 and RS 22

- RS is revolted/disgusted at the idea of being wed to the Monkey Kings child, even more so when he realizes MK is adopted,

- but, that all changes the second he meets MK while he meets him by accident when he gets kinda lost in the palace when he and his parents go to discuss the arrangements.

- the second he looks at MK, he's instantly in love. MK less so, he's nervous and honestly kinda bummed he's not marrying someone he loves but it's for the good of his ppl, and he'll do anything for them.

- RS isn't even aware that MK is Suns adopted son until MK walks him back to the meeting room.

"Oh There you are MK! I was about to have a servant go fetch you!" Sun Wukong says, gesturing for his boy to come sit with him.

"S-sorry for keeping you waiting I got caught up in my lessons with Mr. Tang" MK responds, sitting next to his father. Red Son looked gobsmacked. The beautiful young man he had bumped into, was the prince of this land? Damn, life truly blessed him. Or cursed him depending on how you looked at it.

- the two are left alone in a separate room for a while.

- And MK straight up tells RS why he's agreeing to this union.

"Look Red Son. I've dreamed about meeting my one true love for a while. And I would give almost anything for that dram to be real. But I wouldn't ever dare give up my people, for as there price they mean more to me. I'm doing this for them, no other reason" MK says, his back straight and hands folded neatly in his lap. The look in his eyes was a mix of sadness, but that was drowned out by loyalty and determination. It just made Red Son fall for him even harder. Clearing his throat Red spoke.

"I understand, for im doing this for the betterment of my people to. But I propose a wager"

"A wager?"

"Yes, if i can make you fall in love with me by years end, before our marriage, we can live together like in the fairy tales from far away. But if I fail, in a years time afterwards you will be permitted to find your own path in life" Red Son stated. MK took a moment to process what was happening.

"So, if you succeed in making me fall in love with you, before our marriage we can live happily ever after?" Red Son nodded in response, letting the younger continue.

"And if I shouldn't fall for you, in a years time after our union, im free to leave?" Red Son nodded once more.

"So, what do you say?"

...

"Deal"

In the end, your free to choose their fate, should Red Son win the hart of Mk? Will he fail? Or will he let him go, and let him travel the country, after all Mk's a free spirit and keeping him trapped in a big house is like keeping a cannery trapped in a cage only for its song, only for it to dul. Or will the unthinkable happen and will both boys find their freedom? together or appart? I don't know, because that's all up to you 😉

personally, I’m partial to where MK and Red Son both find freedom together. Like they straight up run away together to somewhere far away and just live out there lives together. 

this could also be genderbent thing as well. MK or Red as their respective counterparts. Again it doesn't have to be, but it’s whatever bro. im just spitting out the idea. 

Also, there is a main side plot that they fight the WBS throughout the year as well, along with other shenanigans you wanna throw in.

____

The second is a My Hero Academia/BNH/MHA AU

truth be told i'm not a big fan of MHA i think it to over hyped(this is also coming from the same person that’s a Fairy Tail fan lol), and the fandom i don't even know how to describe that mess, but I will admit not the whole of its toxic since every fandom has some toxic members, some even more so. 

I just sometimes find myself enjoying MHA AUs like the Fullmetal Alchemist, Danny Phantom, Evil!Deuk AU and several others. 

to make it clear I don't see this AU taking place the same time as the main plot of the actual Anime/Manga. This could be either like 6-10 years before or after the plot idk bro. But i’ll do this after the main story plot of MHA, so keep that in mind ya? another thing, the gang is still in China, the top hero school in the world just so happens to be in Japan, and it’s only ever mentioned by Sun wukong and other pro heros. So MK never attended AU. in short it’s only ever mention/ reference.  

_

- Mk was considered Quirkless as a kid. 

- he was just a late blumer, i swear  

- Mai’s Quirk is called Dragon. 

- it pretty much works the same way as it does in the show(duh)

- Tang’s got a knowledge Quirk, 

- my man can retain information and he’s basically an archive of information drawback being his personality lol 

- Piggsy is a Animal that gained a Quirk

- in cannon to my current knowledge, there are two other characters that can confirm animals can become sentient. the characters being Fumikage Tokoyami, & Nezu the principal at the school UA.  

- Sandy is just Conner Kent, aka he like superman but can't fly, or shoot lasers from his eyes. And blue.  

I have two scenarios for Macaque and Wukong  

*- The first one is that, Sun Wukong & Macaque are brothers. twins to be exact. 

- they where legit people, but have mutation quirks that made them too like monkeys. 

- the added powers were just a boues. 

- Sun and Mac are close growing up, like there brothers but also best friends.

- the draw back to there quirks could honestly be whatever you want bro idk, same with the others tbh. Personally I like to think Sun just has lack of motivation, and Macaque needs to draw on other people's energy.

- Sun is a hero, Monkey KIng and Mac is a villain Six Eared.

- Sun was always treated has the golden child in the family, Mac always resented that, but there shitty up bring didn’t stop the two from being good brothers to one another.

- soon tho the resentment became hatred when Sun was able to attend UA in Japan, while Mac didn't.

- Mac be angy 

- so he became a villain, and joined the Chinese branch of the LOV(league of villains)

- Sun doesn't know this till he finds out during the all out war during the main story. and by that time he’s a full on hero with is own agency(The Flower Fruit agency)    

- when the hero's ultimately win and Mac is arrested 

- This ultimately hurts Sun a lot, his brother was in jail now, arrested for his involvement and wrong doings, he knew nothing about this! this brother, his blood. A bad guy? why? he hadn't seen his brother since he left for UA, he hadn’t seen him when he came home, and started his agency. 

- this just puts Sun into a funk so he’s not as active as he used to be, and he starts thinking he might need a successor 

*- The second one is that they were two separate people that had similar quirks and both attended UA but Sun ended up in the hero corse. so 1A.

- Both Macaque and Sun have similar quirks, Sun’s is obviously more light based while Macaque’s is more shadow based(this applies to the first one as well)    

- Macaque was placed in class 1B, U.A.’s High's Heroics Department, I believe, you can correct me. 

- In cannon Class 1A and 1B both went to the training camp. I can see the teachers pinning Sun and Macaque against each other to hone their skills. 

- And because of that they become great friends    

- In fact when they graduate they both co-found there hero agency together in China and are a duo.

- But due to Monkey King’s popularity and Six Eared's association with shadows(people sometimes saying he has more of a villains quirk than a heros) the public see’s Macaque as Sun’s sidekick when thats far from the truth. 

- now it’s up to you whether you think that Wukong and Macaque would be in a relationship together, but knowing how cooked we all are, ShadowPeach is a thing here more than likely. 

- If you do or don’t support/ like the ShadowPeach aspect, the two would be living together regardless since its more cost efficient. 

- They my be heroes but living costs are expensive!   

- I would imagine there would have been a huge fight/argument between the two in privet of course, at there home.(or in there shared office if you want the extra angst of the other people they work with hearing them fight)   

- If the two are dating, then this would either lead to an out right breakup, or Macaque just up and leaving with Wukong thinking he’ll come back once he’s cooled off. But after a week, with no sign of his partner, or him answering texts or calls, not even coming into work. Wukong gets worried that something might have happened to him. so there wouldn't be a confirmation if they were still a thing or not. 

- But Wukong remains hopeful, despite the nagging at the back of his head, and gut telling him to go find Macaque, or atleast make a public statement, or even just tell another pro hero about it.   

- on the not so shippy side, Macaque and Wukong still have there argument, and much like the ShadowPeach esc side, Macaque up and leaves, and isn't seen for weeks. the only difference here is that when Wukong comes home one night to there flat, most if not all of Macaques stuff is gone. 

- where as if this was the ShadowPeach side, Macaque leaves all of his possession in the flat he and wukong share. for the simple reason being, he still loves him and wants to go back, but Macaque being Macaque can’t bring himself to do it, especially after seeing just how hurt Wukong looked when he yelled at him just before he left.  

- in other words, ANGST DIALED UP TO A 10 BABY  

- in either case, its a news report that confirms Wukong's suspicions that he desperately didn’t want to believe, and that is Macaque turning into a villain.

- much like if the two were brothers, Wukong just can’t take it and is no longer as active as he once was, and is thinking about, either A) Retirement  B) Saying, “Fuck Society, Be Gay Do Crime” and join Macaque as a villain himself, or C) find a successor, and a way to bring Macaque back to there side, but most importantly, back to him.    

- also extra points if you're after people's hearts and want to make them suffer;  - If there dating, Wukong curle’s up in the bed he and Macaque shared, holding/wearing something of great value to Macaque and just crying himself to sleep, where as Macaque is getting wasted on alcohol, as he stumbles out of the bar he’s in, he either see’s something that reminds him of Wukong or while he’s trying to put his wallet back into his pocket, a photo of them on their first date fall’s out. and Macaque just cries in a nearby alley way. And it’s there where he gets indoctrinated into the League.

       - If there just friends, macaque heads to the nearest forest and just levels it, where as Wukong just gets engrossed into his work, trying not to think about it. you could add you own spin on this, again i'm just spitballing.             

- NOW BACK TO MK! :D     

- Obviously MK is a huge Monkey King fan     

- at Twenty MK has come to terms he's quirkless (HE’S NOT)

-for ANGST reasons MKs fokes kicked him out at this realization at 13.

- he works at Piggsy's Noodle shop, and has been since he was 14.

- don't need a quirk to drive or cook!

- the boy lives a content life with his new family, till DBK happens :D

- DBK runs a Mafia(in conjunction with TLOV) and has been in jail for like 5 years thanks to Monkey King, PIF and RS brake him out one night when MK's out making a late night delivery since Piggsy had the bright idea to go 24/7 service!

- one thing leads to another and Mk somehow manifest what looks like the Monkey King's staff, but its not, it’s MKs powers, it just so happens to be the same power the Monkey King has. And it practically goes down the same way in the pilot. 

- but unlike the pilot Mk and Mei go straight to the FF Agency, after making a panicked call to Pigsy and Tang.

- one way or another Mk are lead into Wukongs office. Mei being forced to stay in the lobby.

- they have there convo, butterfly monkey squishing included.

- "And so, I want you do be my success-" BOOM 💥

- from there they rush downstairs and see that the lobby has been infiltrated by the DB fam, and you know fight.

- once the DB family seems like there down, PIF wisks them away. Much to Monkey King’s displeasure.

From there stuff kind plays out like cannon, the calabash ep is just a conjoint quirk the Demon bros have. As for EP9, ill have to script that one out myself lol. I'll get onto it as soon as my will to commit stabs me in the face. Till then have a dancing Kermit the frog.

Now if you'll excuse me, am about to Kermit a felony :D

(For legal reasons thats a joke)

Psst @writingamongther0ses its done

[shorkbrian]

ASKS

Hello again, asks are compiled under the cut. Please block the tag #shorkbrian answers a lot of asks# If you’d prefer not to see these types of posts from me. If I haven’t answered your ask, it’s because I’m saving it for a thirst, drabble, or fic.

I don’t ignore asks, but sometimes getting around to them overwhelms me lol. pls accept my apologies lol k here we go

I am very glad, I legit was so scared that it was too long and that it’d be disappointing bc the smut wasn’t super IN YOUR FACE yknow? But man am I glad to hear that.

I’m looking directly @ you

Someone noticed omg!!!  A lot of times I just put whatever song I played on repeat while writing that fit, but I have a *yandere* playlist that I listen to and it gets me going. Ty for noticing!!!

I’ve considered opening them permanently but I just... idek. I’d have to start deleting or ignoring the requests I don’t vibe with and Idk how to handle that lol. But thanks for the well wishes, hope your next few months treat you well friend!

Watermelon sugar why

Srsly you’re sweet but just wait until I start to really get going with all my nasty kinks okay, then you’ll be rethinking this strategy hunty lol!

I literally stalk @.vermiliren and @.kazooli and @.seita lol. Maybe when I get my blog more cleaned up, I’ll create a list of creators that I enjoy, along with fic recs. For now, here’s a link to my AO3 bookmarks which I read one like almost every single night bc I’m a horny gremlin.

I am the shark king. Sharks are my thing bro u don’t even know. I love them so much, they're dumb and big and beautiful and yeah I wish I was a mermaid who got to swim with them. Also I changed it bc I’m trying to make my blog more *professional* and all that so I can start being taken seriously askjakjdf

Compliments suck, if I'm being down and out honest. This does not bother me at all, I’m just unsure how to respond. I think I would prefer no comments, but I’m trying really really hard to just say “thank you!” and move on before I get uncomfortable. Having to fight with someone about how I perceive my self worth is exhausting, and especially so for the poor person that was just trying to say something nice and be nice to me. 

They do make me quite uncomfortable my dear lad/lassie/lasso. Say what you wish in the tags tho ! I don’t really reply to those, so there’s no pressure on me to have to say something back. I do however, see all the tags ppl use and some of them make me laugh so hard cause they’re so spot on, and it makes my day. like “Mark me down as scared AND horny” and “Bakugou better be able to bench 165 cause imma throw my fatass in his mf lap” and it kills me.

I SCEREAMED AKDHGSYDGASJSD this is the only format I'll be taking asks in now, no compliments just a yes/no answer to if my works help u cum god bless

you used the /gen!!!!! IDK what these are called but the /S and /gen and /J save my life!!!!

Frick you’ve figured me out, I do try to put like a nail-in-the-coffin sentence at the end. A lot of times it never works right, but I cannot for the life of my figure out how to end a single post ever. If anyone knows hmu pls ty

(Also ps I checked out ur blog cause yans are my jam and it is very much Not garbage!!)

That’s very kind of you, but pls don’t stay up past midnight it’s bad for ur Brian you’ll make bad decisions bro trust me all of my stuff is written after midnight

You will lafff..... but I will tell anyways..... I was prescribed a “life coach” after I got out of the hospital, which was really just a poorly disguised softcore “make sure u don’t yeet urself” type of thing. He had me write down things I liked about myself, and when I returned the sheet of paper still blank, he wrote stuff down for me. Like five sentences of “My hair and skin are unique and special” “I like animals and enjoy being kind to them” “I am worthy of respect” etc etc. and I had to look in a mirror twice a day and say those sentences to help “boost my self worth”. It sucked so bad dude, and I like got upset about it every time it came up, until finally my therapist was like “... this aint doin this sad bitch no good” and my parents got designated for yeet watch instead.

I know, logically, that (the majority of) people are not purposefully taking time out of their day to make me feel bad. They're trying to be encouraging and loving, and I appreciate it so much. But like... what do I say? If I say thanks, it’s almost like acknowledging what they're saying as true, and I can’t live with myself thinking I’m more than I am. I’m sorry you’ve had experiences that make compliments difficult for you also, I understand bro and I hope that your future holds healing and peace for you. 

Hopefully I won’t vent as much anymore lol, I’ll try to do that on my sideblog where I reblog really trigger-y memes akjdafhkjf. But thank you for your kind words bro, they’re appreciated and put in a nice lil jar.

Ah dw! This doesn’t sound like a jab. I think all of us r so sad n depressed and feel unworthy of love, so the fantasy of a Yan coming and forcing it on us and not leaving even when we lash out is just..... so attractive my heads gonna explode

me, thinking about kiri at any given moment like:

I have the next Hybrid! Kiri fic like lined up, but I’m so demotivated be I was SO CLOSE to finishing, and then wiped my computer like an IDITO

Waso, I’m taking horseback riding lessons bc my mom went:

and my grandpa told me that one of his horses was named Awaso and I immediately thot of u fun fact. But you’re so very kind, and I enjoy seeing you in my inbox. I’m never tired of u homie. You are loved and important, and it’s not an illusion. Even random strangers on the internet can feel soft towards you bro, and dats me, I’m the random stranger that likes u.

So I took Russian for a year, my dear friend, because I wanted to see if the language myth of “Russian is the hardest, Korean is the easiest” was true. I would say yes. So instead of like translating this and typing out a coherent response, I’ve resorted to google translate I’m so sorry but Виктор мог плюнуть мне в глаз, и я бы поблагодарил его. Also, the way Vitya is written in cryllic makes my heart swell it looks so cozy idek what I mean by that but it does? I treasure you man, hope to see you around in the new year and maybe??? we be good friends

Can any year be good when Kirishima Eijirou doesn’t exist?

cryface;;sad.jpg

I just imagine anyone who comes across my stuff, sitting at their computer shocked and slightly horrified, maybe turned on like

Daddy Aizawa makes me

Wait!! I have something to aid your troubles!!

ur welcome now u can be horny whenever you’d like 

pls every time we talk about Kirishima I have to act surprised like 

LISTEN BBYGORL I have had therapist Suga in the works since *checks notes* November. I am excited for it yeahhhhhh but sadly, I don’t think I will be continuing piano teacher Suga. The story is petered out in my mind, idk where it would go. Therapist sugarbird tho? We have some thots about this. Coming soon to theaters near you

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 30+31.12.20 lbs

30.12.20

lmao ep starts off itself with vansh and kabir ka staring match.

vansh steady in first place, not having blinked for................ like 3 minutes now? this dude a fucking freak.

while riddhima gazes adoringly at him thinking bhagwaan ne mujhe itnaaaaaaaaaa achcha pati diya hai. pft. idk what the hell sins you did in your last life riddhima, to get a husband like this one in this life, but it had to be something reallllllllllll bad. like stealing from little orphans and kicking puppies or some shit.

thankfully dadi is here to put an end to this chutiyaapa.

countdown blah blah, no1 currrrrrrrrr.

itna pheeeeeeeeeenka happy new year. bhai-behen ho kya???

now we talking.

he just says some trite shit like new kahaani that will be remembered for ages blah blah and gives creepy looks. dude why can’t you be normal on oneeeee bloody day?

ahaana also giving random creepy looks seeing vansh/riddhima hugging. and she goes and............

i think i watch this show and rrahul a little too closely ki i instantly knew this isn’t his hand and thus it’s not vansh’s hand she’s holding.

yupppppppppp. bola tha na.

damn they make a hotass couple of shady bitches.

ok wow i’m really feeling it. wish kabir wasn’t a sociopath who is incapable of feeling attachment (“love” is too strong a word) for anyone but his mother.

lmao his reaction when ahaana tells him ki riddhima didn’t believe any of the pattiii she padaofied her about vansh.

ok but how do these two know each other??? matlab yeh le aaya hai issko? i thought vansh le aaya hoga?!!?

mereko kya kaunsa manhoos le aaya? i’m just here for the attractive ppl pressing their bodies up against each other. keep on keeping on, #KaHana

he’s warning her against ever double-crossing him and dude the angry/hate-sex vibes here are *~~~ExQuISiTe*~~~~

the way she’s confidently gazing at him all sexy tells me she’s a much more seasoned player than riddhima and i already love her more than the damn lead of the show.

damn. that’s a gnarly period you got riddhima. that’s an unusual amount of flow. go see a doctor about it, sis.

i’ve heard about ppl making art with menstrual blood and all, but this is fucking ridiculous.

anyway of course the dumbass goes investigating it. and got fucking attacked in the storeroom and SOMEONE HUNG HER UP. LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THIS MESSED UP HOUSE DUDE????/ WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU STILLL LIVE HERE????

Chehra Appreciation Break

asadkjasldjlaskdjlsakjdlas the way he’s yelling for everyone and interrogating them of their whereabouts coz riddhima’s missing.

lmao ishani and ahaana’s reactions at this temper tantrum are fucking amazing.

dang what’s with the suuuuuper orange lower half of his face???? ugh. the foundation woes are back now that the beard’s growing back in.

anyway he went barrelling off to find her after some more chabaaya hua dhamkis at his fam. ahaana already regretting moving into this pagaal khaana.

this scene is so fucking disturbing to watch that i don’t even wanna fucking cap it. but she was legit getting HANGED and he managed to get there in the nick of time and save her.

how, you ask? BY SHOOTING AT THE ROPE, INSTEAD OF JUST.......... DOING SOMETHING NORMAL LIKE RUNNING AND PUTTING THE STOOL BACK UNDER HER FEET TO STABILIZE HER. THIS SHOW IS JUST FUCKING BATSHIT INSANE, MY LORD.

this poor girl, my god. i don’t think i’ve ever watched a tellywood FL be tortured to the extent that this one is on a daily basis. it’s fucking ridiculous. there’s no redemption for any of the raisinghanias at this point. she just needs to fucking leave (and file several domestic violence cases against each and every one of them, except dadi.)

anyway she tells him whatever went down today, starting from the period blood fiasco onwards and he’s........ vibrating in anger. cool i guess.

some promises and shit about how who ever did this will pay, time for “humaara khel” and .......... dude. you say this shit every single time. and nothing changes. i don’t give a fuck anymore about your stupid promises. move the fuck outta this hellhole with your wife if you really mean it.

seedha jaake ahaana ke sar pe bandook taan di. based on what evidence? only the Good Lord above knows, coz vansh and the writers sure don’t.

no literally based on what is he accusing her and pulling the trigger??????? idgi??????

almost shot her and is saying “riddhima pe kharonchh nahi aani chahiye, baat ishq aur vishwaas ki hai” and ahaana is giggling and literally what the fuck is going on i’m so confused.

ahaana saying wowwwww, you want revenge also, and she shouldn’t get hurt also.

MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE’S THE ONE WHO BROUGHT AHAANA IN!!!!!!!!!!!!

literally what the fuck is this dude on???? badla chahiye, par dard nahi hona chahiye. bhai, kya phoonk ke aaye ho, humein bhi toh thoda de do.

ok this is tooooo fucking convoluted a game. riddhima thinks kabir is the one attacking her. but it’s kabir + ahaana. kabir thinks ahaana is on his side and brought her into VR mansion, but ahaana is double agent who was actually planted in kabir’s nazar by vansh to fuck over BOTH kabir and riddhima. i think?????????

ahaana be like re devaaaaaa, what fucking madness have i gotten myself into????????????? the things i have to do for health insurance coverage during a pandemic.

———————————————————————

31.12.20

first 5 minutes is some new year ka naach gaana bs. fwding.

ok this fucker is a legit motherflipping crazy. he just wants to keep torturing riddhima for god knows how long.

even ahaana is alarmed.

did he do absolutely noooooo research after the cliff chhalaang? like....... this revenge shit is so dumb at this point, when he knows she brought in vihaan to stop kabir from ruining the family, and took a second fucking bullet for him?!?!?!?!?!?! they shouldn’t have written the second gunshot plot point, coz now he looks like a reallllllllll unappreciative fucker for whom literally no good deed is enough.

WHAT PYAAR AND VISHWAAS, FUCKER???????? LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?????? YOU’VE PLAYED THESE GAMES WITH HER FROM THE VERY START OF YOUR MARRIAGE AND MAYBE TOOK A BREAK FOR A WEEK OR TWO IN BETWEEN - WHEN SHE GOT SHOT THE FIRST TIME AND DURING ISHANI’S WEDDING. THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT??????/ LIKE.......... THIS MAKES NO BLOODY SENSE. THIS CHARACTER IS JUST SUCH A SUPREME DOUCHEBAG, MY GOD. THERE’S ABSOLUTELY NO REDEEMING HIM WHATSOEVER.

also can’t say rrahul’s extra chabaaaaa chabaaaaaaa ke bolna is making this enjoyable to watch at all.

all i wanna know is what ahaana has on him that he’s indebted to her and thought her worthy enough to join forces with. SPILL SPILL SPILL SPILL!!!!!!!!!!!! what does ahaana get outta all this?!!?!?!!!!!!

riddhima on the other hand running around wondering whom vansh is gonna murder. SIS YOU JUST GOT STRANGULATED CAN YOU SIT DOWN FOR A HOT SEC AND REST?!?!!?!?

ahaana is like bro you gonna ruin riddhima’s life, and he’s like yeah, that’s what i want. jesus christ, dude. just divorce her then. why prolong this shit out like this????? truly psychopathic.

riddhima hears his voice and heads to the pool area..........

............. isn’t that his shoulder there behind the tree? is she fucking blind???????? HOW CAN SHE NOT SEE HIS 7 FOOT TALL HULKING ASS BEHIND THAT PATLA SA JHAADI?????? HE’S LITERALLY THERE LIKE........

........... she left. god. she’s really really REALLY stupid. like pretty sure these crimes against her count as extraaaaaaaaa bad....... like, pick on someone with your own brain capacity, vansh? leave the simple minded sis alone!

the only gift that’s acceptable from you rn sir, is divorce papers. and a self-filed restraining order promising to stay 3 whole districts away.

yikes, that beard is notttttt growing in well.

“tum mujhe apne saare stress de do.” BITCH YOU’RE HER BIGGEST STRESS. ASSHOLE. I HATE YOU SO MUCH.

“tumse door jaake jaaonga kahaan? abhi toh bohut kuch baaki hai.” fucking dieeee, you psychopath.

lmaoooooooooooooooo her face when she doesn’t understand wtf this gift is supposed to be. i’ve been there sis. trying to fake enthusiasm for some reallllll bad gifts from men is truly painful.

also she’s so dang cute when they let her use her face properly!!!!!! har waqt bechaari ko bass rulaate rehte hain iss show mein.

one ainvayiiii gift ke bahaane some random cuteness.

sis gazing at him some more thinking omg he loves me soooooooo much.

she remembered ahaana’s warning, and is like no she was lying to me!!!!!!!!! stupid stupid stupiddddddd. no matter whoever planted her, you should believe that sister over your haraami misters. motive jo bhi ho, bol toh behen sach hi rahi thi.

yuck that looks ugly af. why the hell would you want that on your bedroom wall? esp. when your bedroom is already so goddamn fugly.

anyway he’s gaslighting her some more about ahaana blah blah.

riddhima like i’ll prove it. le, iska jee nahi bharaa. she wants to do more jasoosi and go get stuck in random traps that try to kill her.

vansh promising he’ll throw ahaana and her partners out if she can prove it. meaning you’ll........... throw yourself out?????

whatever man, idk and idc anymore what this fucker does. i’m just here for the faces.

threatening notes planted in all these ppl’s rooms. everyone instantly like OMG VANSHHHHHHHHHHH DID THISSSSS. lol coz who else does this chutiyaapa of leaving random messages around like this.

but nope. chachi saw riddhima’s earring lying there and knows it’s her.

isko bhi mila.

lmao kabir rueing the day he set eyes on riddhima coz jeena haraam kar rakha hai ladki ne.

riddhima like mwahahahahhaha they must have got my notes and now they’ll come attack me! behen, woh toh note ke bina bhi roz karte aaye hain...............

there. promptly got jumped.

surprise, surprise.

lol attitude toh dekho behen ka. wish she was the lead of the show instead of riddhima.

[pastelninjaimagines]

What would Deidara and Sasori do if they liked the same person (let’s say a new female member who was assigned to the both of them for a mission so yh basically a team consisting of three ppl) and were aware of that? Headcanons please♥️

ok this is gonna be a shitshow…you got the two pettiest pretty boys on the planet sparing for your love and affection. Welcome to the circus

Deidara had already been eyeing you up since you first joined bc he thinks you sexxyy, so when Pain assigned you to the mission too, he legit did a flip. He wastes zero time before he starts hitting on you. Literally every word out of his mouth he’s trying to make some sort of pass, showing off his art, showboating, stupid jokes to make you laugh, etc. You being a newbie is the perfect excuse for him to put his arm around you and say “Lemme show ya the ropes, rookie.” He’s like yes I wanna be your senpai. All so that he can get close to you. 

And of course Sasori’s like a tsundere supreme and doesn’t actually realize his own feelings for you…it’s only after spending some time with you during the mission that it kinda hits him. Like at first, Deidara’s constant flirting with you is only annoying bc he’d rather you all just be silent if that’s what he has to hear, but suddenly it hits different. He gets to know you after a few one-on-one encounters and he realizes he’s annoyed not bc he’d wish Deidara would be silent for once in his life, but because he’s making blatant passes at you. And Sasori, having one of the shortest fuses in history, goes off on Deidara. Like more than usual, more than him saying that Dei’s art is trash and that he always keeps him waiting, no Sasori’s intention is to now make him look bad. And it comes out of the blue. Both you and Deidara are like “wtf man.” But Die kinda brushes it off bc that’s just how Sasori is

Sasori ends up getting kinda embarrassed by his own outburst and tries to get you alone to explain that he’s not normally like that (lmao lies), and since you’re a newbie, tries to explain that the Akatsuki keeps it professional between members so he really didn’t mean to get heated (tho he’ll add that he still stands by what he said). And you take it as he’s trying to apologize and you’re like “apologize to Dei, not me” But all’s not lost bc you give him this smile that takes the wind out of him and he can’t even deny to himself that he likes you

And all of a sudden Sasori’s acting super considerate around you and he’s really trying to be patient and less critical

Deidara picks this up right away bc let’s be real he knows Sasori’s personality to a tee. And he turns to him at one point and is like “since when do you have human feelings” And from that moment each of them acknowledge the unspoken fact that they both have feelings for you. And they hate each other even more for it.

And thus begins the war. They’re constantly throwing petty comments and shade at each other in front of you, trying to make the other look bad while elevating themselves. This is incredibly blatant when one of them is trying to show off his art to you. The other will be in the background tearing into it and why it’s the wrong point of view on art and why their approach is the superior art, etc. Deidara said once, “Sasori’s such a midget. Couldn’t reach that without his puppet strings.” and Sasori retorts, “Look who’s talking. Do I need to hand you a mirror you manlet.”  Stupid banter like that. But constant. 

And it their little competition to show off their art starts impeding the mission. Like at one point Deidara basically sabotages Sasori when he was trying to get information from one of his spies, by accidentally blowing the spy up. And Sasori once got in Deidara’s way so that Deidara couldn’t detonate a bomb at the enemy and the enemy got away. It gets to the point that you have to bring their attention to it. You’re like “can we please focus on what the leader told us to do?” You’re just like, let’s all act like adults please. Please, you’re tired of their constant shade. 

They call it truce, and agree that the mission comes first not their personal beef (not that either admits what the sudden beef is - the tension was certainly not this high when the mission began you noted). They only make snide comments after that, still not perfect but at least they weren’t jeopardizing the mission. 

Once the mission is complete and you’re heading back to base, Deidara thinks it’s time he makes his move before Pain assigns you somewhere else. And once Deidara asks if you have feelings for anyone and admits that he has them for you, Sasori, at first thinking he was going to stay silent and hope that you make the right choice, butts in and proclaims his feelings for you realizing that he has to make it known incase you do fall for Deidara’s scheme. 

And they start arguing anew, Deidara accusing Sasori of sabotaging his moment and Sasori saying that it was Deidara’s fault for not asking in private. You clear your throat to get their attention. They stop dead and stare at you, both on pins and needles, awaiting your answer. And you chose….

[butterbeeryuta]

tattoo artist!yuta x reader

a/n: i legit know nothing abt tattoos i have none, so don’t think whatever i wrote abt getting tattoos is real. it’s all fiCtion children, please be nice to me 🥺🥺🥺

your friend, taeil, got drunk af and was dared to get a tattoo… and well,,, he needed a lot of support

and a huge push from you

ofc you told the man to just tell whoever he got drunk with to call the deal off because well,,, they were drunk

well turns out moon taeil has too much pride in himself

and besides,,,, lee haechan apparently got his eyebrow pierced when he was dared to do it

you were usually the type to laugh at such stupidity

but taeil cooks for you and helps you clean, so laughing at his being dumbfuck of a brain was probably the last thing you wanted to do

so the two of you were in front of the tattoo shop. while taeil was probably dying internally and regretting all of his life choices, you were thinking of ways of keeping his ass down on that chair and ensuring that the tattoo artist won’t sue your friend for being a loud and uncooperative customer

i mean have ya’ll seen that video where the 127 boys were playing the ‘find my belly button game’ and taeil was abt to motherfucking burst

‘hello, welcome to neo ink. how may i help you?’

fuck was the man a whole ass meal

silvers of different sizes decorated both his ears, platinum hair perfectly styled underneath the maroon beanie he wore. the man in front of you also had the prettiest set of eyes you’ve seen, almost similar to a cat’s. in other words, he was a living anime character, and you were living for it.

what got your attention the most was his tattoos, beautifully drawn on his tan skin. although he had his long sleeves rolled up to his elbows, the black ink imprinted on both his forearms told you that he had a tattoo sleeve on both his arms.

a pretty man with tattoos and piercings and dyed hair

you were so glad you came along with taeil

your friend was probably shaking harder than when he was standing in front of the store. right, you had to take care of him and distract him until the tattoo was done.

so you told the man in front of you about your friend’s situation,

and tbh mr. handsome tattoo guy wasn’t really impressed or fond with your explanation, but he needed the cash so who was he to complain

so the two of you were there, and as much you wanted to stare and admire at this ethereal man’s face, taeil was freaking the fuck out, and being the good friend you were, ofc you enjoyed watching him suffer calmed him down

‘moon taeil sit your ass down! if i can chase around a man with a rolling pin definitely not a yes chef reference without any shame and was publicised, a tattoo is notHIng!!!!! you’re literally getting a semi circle on your nape—‘

‘IT’S A HALF MOON __________’

‘IM CALMING YOU DOWN SHUT UP’

platinum-haired tattoo artist was definitely enjoying your banter about how it looks nothing like a half moon (you knew it was, but to get shit done quicker) while taeil insisted; honestly thanks to you, he actually started to ink his skin without taeil noticing

good job ________, you’re a godsend

‘_______ my name legiterally ends with moon, how hard is to connect the dots—‘

‘mr. moon your tattoo is done’

and you sighed in relief, mentally patting yourself for constantly coming up with arguments against your friend’s point just so the pretty tattoo artist can do his work without a screaming moon taeil

well he was screaming, but it wasn’t because of him

while your friend was shook and ran to the mirror and checked it out by himself,

ofc, pretty tattoo guy walked towards you

‘thank you so much for your help, i was quite close to giving him a popsicle or smth while i was working’ he says to you.

yes, he spoke to you

and he thanked you for keeping up with your bullshit

________.exe has stopped working bRUHHHHHHHHHHhHhhHhhHhhh

tattoo boy knew he was pretty, and he definitely smirked at your sudden flustered state

bitCh if you don’t wipe off that smirk im going to kiss you

‘i’m yuta by the way, you were great help today’ he says, stretching his arms towards you

even if you wanted to hesitate, you didn’t. you just immediately shook his hand, softly whispering your name even if it was just the two of you, while taeil was jumping around like a little kid being so proud of himself for completing a drunken dare

the bitch was still smiling

‘did you really not know it was a half moon though?’

‘the more appropriate term is a “waning crescent” actually, but honestly the only way to distract him is to be stubborn with your thoughts and force it on him’ you reply while yuta just smiles at you

DaMn his smile was pretty as fuck what the hell did you do to meet such angel

and just like that, ya’ll talked pretty naturally talking more about taeil’s shenanigans, as well as your own lifestyle

you learned that he initially was a transfer student from japan, but he ended up liking south korea more than he thought. so here he is: a bilingual tattoo artist in seoul.

‘i work as a stripper in the nearby bar actually’ you say with a straight face, just to see his reaction

people would either turn red or stutter a lot, usually both at the same time.

BUT THE BITCH SMIRKED AGAIN

‘well i guess I’ll see you tonight then’ *wink*

JDSKJDSKDJKSDJSKDJKSDJSKDJ

YOU PANICKED YOU WERE AN ASSISTANT MANAGER FOR A BANK YOU ONLY SAID THE STRIPPER THING TO SEE IF PPL WERE JUDGEMENTAL TF WERE YOU GONNA DO NOW

‘u-uhhh, okay not the reaction i expected. i usually say it to see if people were judgemental or not because you’re already such a knowledgeable guy and really pretty, i didn’t want to fool myself and… wow i really should think before speaking’

thanks stupid brain and hormones, thanks

yuta laughed at you, throwing his head back slightly at your flushed self pt.2

he found you cute, and you seemed like a good natured person for supporting your friend

‘i knew you were kidding, don’t worry. my shift ends in about 2 hours, so if you’re interested, would you like to have a coffee or something?’

if you weren’t blushing before, well you were now

‘y-yeah i-i’d like t-tha—‘

‘GUYS WHY DIDNT GET ONE BEFORE, THIS LOOKS COOL AS SHIT’

‘NOT NOW TAEIL’

[imagining-supernatural]

The First Date

Part 2 of Seventy Percent

Series Summary: When you left on your trip to Vegas, you’d planned on letting loose for one last weekend before heading back to reality and getting your affairs in order so your best friend wouldn’t be left cleaning up your mess when your cancer finally ended your life. What you hadn’t counted on was waking up married to a celebrity who has a knight-in-shining-armor complex, connections with an oncologist, and amazing insurance…

Chapter Summary: Your first date with Sebastian is breakfast, then off to the courthouse for an annulment!

Word Count: 1571

“So, uh, according to this website,” you started as soon as Sebastian walked out of the bathroom with a towel secured around his waist. And you definitely did not check him out. You had to stay focused on the annulment. “Um, we should be able to file what’s called a, uh, complaint for annulment at the courthouse if we’re actually married.”

“What’s this?” He sauntered over to the bed and picked up the marriage certificate you’d set on the corner of the bed. “Well, looks official.”

You nodded. “It could also just be a paper, you know? My best friend took a calligraphy class one summer because of that one Relient K song about college kids. She could write this. I figured I’d wait for your input before calling the courthouse to see if it’s legit. You know, didn’t want someone to see your name and get Twitter-excited.”

“Good call.” His voice was soft, as if surprised.

“If it is legit,” you continued with your findings as he searched around the room for his clothes. “Then I’m pretty sure we meet all of the requirements for annulment…” he bent over to pick up his pants and you trailed off at the muscles that flexed in his calves and the—Nope! Annulment. You turned your attention back to the website. “We got married in Nevada, which is one. And considering we don’t remember it, I’d say we were drunk enough that we meet the mentally incompetent or unable to understand what we were consenting to standard. It might be kind of hard to prove that, though,” you muttered.

He laughed. “I don’t know about that. I was looking through my phone and I’ve got some great drunk texts I sent and some pretty blurry pictures of us. One in front of Elvis.”

“Oh god. I got married by Elvis? Drunk? In Vegas? How much more fucking cliché can this get?”

He just shook his head and grinned. “Why don’t you take your turn in the bathroom. I’ll call my lawyer and see what he can do.”

With a nod, you stood up. “Feel free to use my laptop. I have everything secure I need. Oh, and I have a charge cord for Apple and Android over on the desk, so if your phone needs a charge, go for it.”

“You talk a lot, you know that?”

“Yeah. I’ve been told that. It gets worse when I’m nervous or stressed. I’d apologize for that, but it’s not really a character flaw. Just you know, what makes me me.” You made the conscious effort to keep your mouth shut for three seconds. “So, yeah. Feel free to the laptop and charge cords. I’m gonna put a door between us before I embarrass myself more.”

The door closed on his laughter and you took a deep breath. As you let out your breath, you whispered, “Shit.”

You tried to enjoy your shower. You really did. Usually you could shut your brain down and relax.

Not fucking today.

By the time you were done, you could have sworn you were even more stressed out than before.

In an attempt to calm your nerves, you sat down on the toilet seat and unlocked your phone. Sebastian mentioned pictures from the previous night. Maybe you had a few. But, your first order of business was making sure you didn’t drunk text anyone something that you would regret. You weren’t much of a drunk texter, but last night was anything but normal.

Luckily, you’d only texted your friend, Jasmine, a few times.

*Girl these mojitos are fuxking expensive

*hella good tho

*so mdndu hit ppl here

*gon get some f real

She’d texted back that she was glad you were having a good time and reminded you to drink water and be safe, and that was the end of your conversation. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Next up: pictures.

And, boy, did you take pictures. The first few were of you and random people in a club. You had vague memories of those people. You had bonded over… something? Something told you it was mojitos, since all of you had a glass of mint and lime in your hands.

Then you got to the ones with Sebastian. Horribly taken selfies mixed in with blurry photos of whoever was performing on the stage. The background in your selfies changed from the club to a restaurant to some sort of brightly lit up sculpture. Finally you got to your own Elvis pictures.

It wasn’t the wedding you’d ever pictured for yourself, but it was the only one you would get. Even though it would last for less than a day, ideally, you were strangely glad that it had happened. Once you found out about the tumor, you put your love life on the back burner. Not that you ever really put much focus on your love life to begin with. You had plenty of other shit to sort through before you pulled anyone else into your toxic mess of a life. And then, once the chemo didn’t work and reality set in, you made peace with the fact that you would never get married.

If you had a bucket list, one more item would have just gotten crossed off.

Your eyes drifted over to the ring you’d set on the counter while you were in the shower and reached over. It was so much bigger than any ring you’d seen in real life. A huge diamond was nestled in diamond encrusted halo knots, set atop a braided band of yet more diamonds.

It was beautiful.

With a hard swallow, you slipped the ring back onto your finger, admiring it. There were only a few minutes left that you would have it. Only a few minutes to soak this in. This ring was far too expensive to keep.

You took a breath before standing and opening the door to rejoin your temporary husband.

“Hey.”

Sebastian looked up from where he was seated on the bed with your laptop in front of him. “Hey. So I called my lawyer and he called a colleague who found out that we are legally married.”

“Awesome. He give you tips on annulment, then?”

While Sebastian filled you in on what he’d learned, you started picking through the mess of your hotel room to fill your purse with the necessities. His voice was soothing, helping to calm your nerves.

“Alright,” you said, once he was finished. “So we just need to head over to the courthouse?”

He nodded shallowly. “Let’s grab something to eat first. What kind of a husband would I be to not take my wife out the morning after we got married?”

“Breakfast then annulment.” You nodded thoughtfully. “Have to give you props, Seb. This has got to be the most creative first date I’ve ever gone on.”

You fiddled with the ring in your pocket while you waited for Sebastian to show up outside of the hotel. Leaving the room ten minutes apart just added to the strange feeling of this whole thing, but it was necessary to try and keep everything out of the press. The two of you walked down the street once he joined you.

Mundane chat of everything you saw filled the space between you until you arrived at the restaurant where you were quickly led to a private table.

Then came the awkward small talk. You found it easier to hold a conversation when you were walking. Something about the motion was calming. Once you stopped moving, you had two switches. One was talk until the other person put duct tape over your mouth and the other was to not say a single word. After your babbles this morning, it seemed you were all talked out, so you looked over the menu in near silence. You two would throw out a comment here or there about a certain dish, but that was it.

Then the waiter came with water and coffee, then left with your orders and menus.

“Coffee,” you breathed, adding your cream and sugar as quickly as you could so you could burn your tongue by drinking it too soon. After the first sip, you nearly moaned at the feeling of caffeine waking up your every atom. “Fuck, I love caffeine.”

After a moment more of awkward silence, Sebastian broke it. “I don’t think I ever asked what you do. Where you work.”

“I work at data security firm.”

“That’s why you let me at your computer. You had all your private stuff hidden away.”

Your coffee cup was lingering at your lips when you smirked. “I think you saw enough of my private stuff last night, don’t you?”

The blush and sputtering that resulted from your risky joke was well worth it. But he recovered quickly and a spark flickered in his eye. “Does it really count if I don’t remember? It’s too bad that the only thing we’ll remember from our marriage is trying to end it.”

“That’s what makes us special.”

Now that the ice was broken, conversation flowed easier. The topic of your cancer didn’t come up again, and you got away from talk of your upcoming annulment. By the time you were finished eating, you felt more like you were talking to a friend. Not a celebrity. Not a one night stand. Not your soon to be ex-husband.

A friend.

Time for them to head to the courthouse and end their marriage...

Part 3: The Burning Question