#lego hire me I’ll make it for free

[songjay-ay]

That one Inuyasha screencap except it’s Ninjago

[casualreginaspectator]

I work an assembly line. I only have for a couple weeks now, but it’ll be at least a full year before I get back to what I should be doing, at this stage in my life. I went to college for a semester. It was lovely. Not perfect, but lovely. I want to go back. I want to make college friends and join clubs and go to events and seminars and write papers that stress me out. But instead I work an assembly line.

It’s not bad, not in the slightest. I wake up at five in the morning, but really I’m used to that. Get off at three, that’s fantastic, because then I have the rest of the day to myself. I’ve been working out, too, after work. My company has a free gym I can access, and I’ve got the ones at my college. I’m still technically in college. Technically. Kind of. Not bad.

I work an assembly line. I leave my apartment at six fifteen to get to work at six twenty and I’m on the line by six twenty five, six thirty at the latest. I have to wear a smock, it’s blue and has got four buttons and I’m not allowed to roll up the sleeves, even when it gets hot. Cuffs gotta stay snug on my wrists, keeps the parts from getting electric shocks. The smock’s got pockets, like four maybe, two on the breast and two that sit on my hips, and they had me fill them with pens and box openers and little knives and shit. I’ve got a name tag. I’ve got a badge that beeps me into the building. I’ve got shoe straps, too. On my feet all day, gotta stay grounded.

I work an assembly line, forty hours a week, making near eighteen an hour. And that’s good, means I’m going to be able to save. Right now I’m pulling from savings to stay afloat, but that’s alright. I’m making money, and people talk about that shit. People talk about their money, people talk about insurance and saving and spending and health and wellness, cars and shit. My brother’s the car guy, he’s sixteen, and all he ever wants to talk about are cars, and now all I seem to talk about are cars. This guy I’m dating, we have to stop ourselves every time we start talkin about cars. But we’re adults. We’ve got cars. We deal with money. And shit.

And I work an assembly line. “We keep the lights on,” that’s what we do. It’s not so bad, not yet. The people are nice enough, for people who have worked assembly lines for, goddamn near fifteen years, some of em. I told one guy, the guy who trained my trainer, he’s a good soul and so sweet, I told him I wasn’t going to stay, that I was going back to school, getting my degree, getting a real job. I didn’t say that last bit, about the real job. About the real career. Because these people have career paths, I guess. Some of them do. Like you learn and shit, you can move up easy if you’re good enough to. This guy, he definitely will. My supervisor, she’s maybe thirty, thirty two, she started when she was eighteen on the assembly line. But I got told that at my first job, at a grocery store as a bag girl, by the woman who hired me. Started there at sixteen, same as I was then. Hiring manager now, and when I said I wanted to be in HR, because when I was sixteen I thought I wanted to be in HR, they all told me to stay. To do it there, at that grocery store. I left after two months.

But this is an assembly line. And we keep the lights on. And it’s only been two weeks, but I don’t even know what we’re building. Keeps the lights on. I’m at the end of the factory building, “building three” they call it, even though it’s all one. I’m at the end, putting it all into place. Screwing shit. I screw chassis into boards into plates and then you put stickers onto all of it. They do something, at the end of it all. Eventually I’ll move to a different line, do a different unit. It’ll be about the same though. It’s an assembly line.

And I’ve come to the opinion that every child should be required to play with legos, should be raised on legos, should be indoctrinated on legos. Because legos give you all the skills you need to work on an assembly line. You follow instructions, look at parts, build a unit.

And legos help you do other adult things, like build simple furniture you get in the mail that you bought with gift cards from Christmas because you’re still pulling from savings because even though you work an assembly line and make eighteen, you haven’t actually gotten paid yet, but you need a fucking nightstand.

I had a hard time screwing into the nightstand too. Still can’t get the drawer handle on.

And I’m screwing now too, but that’s beside the point.

I work an assembly line. And my life is so simple. On weekdays I work, six thirty to three, work out three to four, except on Mondays, which is my rest day. I come home to an apartment, which I share with two other people, but the guy is hardly ever there because he lives with his girlfriend, who he’s only been dating two months, and he comes to the apartment to do his laundry. And the girl, who is nice and brilliant and who I can talk to for hours which is dangerous for both of us because we lose track of time, but who has a hard time cleaning up after herself in the way I’d appreciate. But she lets me eat some of her food and use her espresso machine. And is usually stoned, so she doesn’t ever hear the screwing.

[iamvegorott]

A New Life Ch. 9

Work Chaos

Yancy stuck to Illinois’ side as they followed Wilford into a very large room, the door opening to the sights and sounds of organized chaos;

The room only had a long table and a few couches as furniture, the decor was just different kinds of maps and marked clocks on the walls, showing the layout and times of everywhere in the world. 

Wilford made his way over to one end of the table where JJ, Yandere, Bim, Jackie, and Chase were at. Wilford gave JJ a kiss on the cheek and grabbed one of the many guns and started looking over it. Yandere giggled as she talked in a soft voice to Bim, casually sharpening a knife that was almost as big as her face. Bim was doing the same with a much smaller blade. Chase and Jackie were chatting as well. Chase was loading bullets into a gun while Jackie wrapped the handle of a blade with dark tape. 

“Hello!” JJ greeted as Yancy and Illinois walked over to the table as well. 

“This is...a lot,” Yancy commented.

“This isn’t even half of it.” Wilford laughed. “We have a lot more and scarier in the armory.” Wilford handed the gun he was looking at to Yancy. Yancy made a face and gave the gun to Illinois, who had no discomfort with holding it. 

“We also have more fun stuff.” JJ placed a hand on top of the bowler hat he was wearing and took it off, twitching his hand and blades popped out from around the rim. 

“The fuck?” Yancy curled while Illinois titled his head. 

“Everything’s a weapon.” Wilford winked. 

“Are you guys like the weapons department or something?” Illinois asked with a little laugh. 

“You could say that,” Jackie answered with a shrug. 

“Everyone’s got their own gig,” Chase added. 

“Look around, check it out, you’ll end up somewhere.” Wilford went back to work. 

“They’ll probably be in Mare’s group,” Bim said with a point towards the end of the room where the maps and clocks were. Mare, Mad, Phantom, and Marvin stood together, split into two groups while Mad and Marvin looked at the maps, and Phantom and Mare glanced at the clocks while they wrote. 

“What makes you think that?” Illinois asked. 

“Yancy is all about schedules and you know how to explore new places.” Yandere said bluntly. 

“Why does everyone think-” Yancy stopped himself. “Whatever.” He huffed and walked away. 

“Do you want this back?” Illinois held the gun towards Wilford. Wilford chuckled at himself and took the offered weapon. Illinois nodded before following Yancy. 

“They’ll need to be sent first if they want the cover of night to help,” Mare said. “Oh, hey guys, you have fun talking with my brother’s boyfriend?” Mare said the last part with a look at Phantom. 

“Not my boyfriend.” Phantom stated and took the paper Mare was writing on, adding his own notes to it. 

“How is he not?” Mad joined the conversation, Marvin tacking along to enjoy the gossip. “You two were very close this morning.” 

“We’re friends, Mad.” Phantom tore the paper out of the notebook and handed it to Marvin. 

“You were really touchy for just friends,” Marvin said with a giggle. 

“You can fuck and not be dating.” Phantom rolled his eyes. “It’s called friends with benefits.” Mad blinked and turned his head to watch how Illinois and Yancy reacted to that. Yancy looked down at the ground and rubbed his arm while Illinois kept a neutral face but Mad would feel that he was having almost the same thoughts as Yancy. Mad took note and stepped away to actually write it down. 

“I give it a month,” Mare said 

“A week.” Marvin corrected. 

“I’m getting some, that’s it, nothing more.” Phantom blew a raspberry. 

“So, what are you guys doing?” Illinois asked, wanting a change in conversation. 

“We help with the whole mapping out the locations and making sure times line up,” Mare said. 

“We prefer to do things in the night and night is at a different time around the world,” Marvin added. 

“And there’s trouble.” Mare laughed as Robbie and Blank walked over to them, both holding the ends of a plastic bag.

“Paper pickup!” Robbie said with a loud giggle.

“You guys working hard?” Mare rubbed the top of Blank’s head, messing up his hair. 

“Daddy!” Blank squealed, using his free hand to swat away Mare’s 

“We work very hard!” Robbie puffed out his chest. 

“Good.” Marvin did the same thing to Robbie’s hair by added a little kiss. 

“Papa!” Robbie wiggled in protest. 

“Papers for the shredders.” Phantom plopped a pile of paper into the bag. 

“Thank!” Robbie perked up. “Gonna go ask daddy for more.” He added to Marvin before he and Blank took off. Yancy and Illinois watched the two rush off to Chase and saw that CJ and RJ were with Dark, who was sitting at the head of the table with Host, holding a bag just like Robbie and Blank were. 

“I think I got this,” Illinois said. “Robbie, Blank, CJ, and RJ are in charge of shredding any documentation you have.” 

“Anything paper really,” Mare said. “They want to help and it’s the safest thing for them to do since we rarely ever send them out of missions.” 

“Marvin is Robbie’s papa, Chase is Robbie’s daddy, Mare is Blank’s daddy and Mad is…” Yancy was counting off his fingers as he spoke, letting his voice trail as he looked at Mad. 

“I-” Mad just went stiff. 

“He’s just Mad,” Mare answered for him. “I made Blank long before we were a thing.” 

“Wait. Made him?” Illinois caught the phrasing. 

“It’s compli-.” Mare caught himself. “Long story I can tell later.”

“I need to actually start writing all of this down,” Illinois said. 

“My brain’s gonna explode.” Yancy started to chew on his cuticles. 

“Oh!” Mad went over to a bag and pulled out what looked like a large red Lego. “Here.” Mad gave Yancy the Lego and Yancy found that it was solid. 

“What?” 

“It’s a Chewy.”

“What?” 

“It’s something you can bite on to help with stimulation, anxiety, or nail-biting habits.” Mad reached down the collar of his shirt and showed he was wearing a purple one as a necklace. 

“Oh...thanks.” Yancy flashed a polite smile. 

“What does Dark and Host do during this?” Illinois asked.

“They just make sure everything is in order. We’re kind of working in separate groups and they check that we’re all on the same page.” Marvin said. “Technically Chase, Mare, and Google should be with them, but often forget.” 

“Is that a diss to me, Google, or your husband?” Mare asked.

“Yes.” Marvin’s response got a loud laugh from Phantom.

“I think Henrik and Edward are making med-kits.” Illinois pointed as he spoke, the two he had mentioned sitting together on one of the couches, organizing bandages and gauze into packs.

“Interestin’.” Yancy hummed. 

“So that just leaves Google, Bing, and Anti,” Illinois said. 

“Does King not do any of this stuff with yous?” Yancy asked when he noticed his gym buddy wasn’t here.

“I’m shocked you know who he is.” Mare chuckled. “But no, not really, he’s not the biggest fan of this but does help if asked for specific things.” 

“I’ll ask him about that,” Yancy said and went towards the last little group, not seeing the look of confusion Mare made. Illinois just ignored it and joined Yancy. 

“Tech stuff?” Yancy asked, standing next to Bing. 

“Hey, dudes!” Bing greeted. “And yeah! We got the tech stuff. Googs does a lot of the hacking, I take care of the social media stuff and Anti helps out with both.” 

“So...what kind of ‘missions’ do you guys actually do?” Illinois finally asked. 

“Depends on the pay.” Bing shrugged. “Assassination, reputation ruining, framing-” 

“You guys kill for hire?” Illinois felt like he should have seen it coming but it was still strange. 

“It’s one of the things we do.” Bing was too casual for Illinois’ taste. 

“Yancy’s killed before, this should be nothing,” Google stated.

“No, no, no, what I did wasn’t this.” Yancy gestured with both arms. “I was a kid, I was defending myself.” 

“Whatever helps you sleep,” Google said.

“Googs.” Bing nudged Google with an elbow. “Not cool.” 

“Not cool?” Google repeated and chewed on his lip, thinking about what he had said. 

“We got a hit.” Anti finally looked away from the laptop he had been typing on. “We have to move now or we miss it.” Anti saw Yancy and Illinois. “We’ll talk shit about Google together later.” He said with a wink before disappearing and reappearing beside Dark. 

“Wrap up and head out,” Dark called out and he stood. “Yancy, Illinois, you may leave and continue with your day.” 

“I need to work out,” Yancy grumbled and walked off. 

“You just need to never talk to him.” Illinois scoffed at Google and left as well. 

“I need to reread their files,” Google said while Bing rubbed his arm. 

“You need to not be a dick,” Bing said with a little smile. 

“I’m not trying to.”

“I know, we’ll work on it.” 

-------------

Tag List: (let me know if you want added or if your name has changed) 

@rainymae523 @m0th-goo @windymischeif @voonespelle @ashywasteland93@madallice329 @sophiefrye22 @its-miinty 

[whosemorales]

Heartbeat

IMPORTANT INFO Post Civil War and Spider-Man Homecoming. Infinity War and Endgame never ever happened cause no one needs that much sadness in their life. None of these one-shots are related unless it says otherwise. And I don't know when I'm going to post but I will try and make it weekly. I don't take requests, but you are free to comment.

Peter couldn't keep the smile off his face all day. It was Friday the last day of school for the week, but that wasn't why Peter was excited, he was excited because he was spending the entire weekend at the Avengers Tower.

Ever since he stopped the Vulture from stealing Mr Starks plane, he spent more and more time with Mr Stark and had grown a lot closer to him. He had met the Avengers a few weeks ago after the accords were sorted out they were welcomed back to the tower, it had been a bit awkward at first but they all grew closer and upon meeting Peter they absolutely adored him.

Peter was currently in his last class of the day, history, the only subject he didn't have with Ned, and he was bored. Don't get him wrong he loved history but they were learning about WW2 and Peter already knew heaps about it (courtesy of Steve and Bucky). So he decided to occupy himself with designing new Web formula, one that would be stronger than anything he's had before, hopefully, strong enough to hold down the hulk.

*20 minutes later*

Peter was writing down the last few equations in his book when the bell suddenly rang through the classroom, causing him to wince due to his heightened hearing, quickly grabbing his stuff he made his way out of the classroom and into the crowded halls of the school.

He met up with Ned on the way to his locker and they both started to talk about the new lego set Ned's mum had just bought him. While Ned was talking Peter was grabbing the books he would need and shoving them into his bag.

"What up losers." Both boys turned to see MJ standing there, but she wasn't looking at them; she still had her nose in her book.

"Oh hey MJ." Peter and Ned said at the same time, laughing the two boys grabbed their stuff and the three made their way out of the school. They spoke outside for a little while until a black Audi pulled up out the front.

"That's Happy I gotta go, bye guys!" Peter yelled as he walked over to the car.

"Hey Happy." Peter greeted as he tossed his bag onto the back seat and climbed in.

"Hey, Pete."

As Happy pulled onto the main road Peter began to ramble on about his day and the amount of homework the teachers had given them.

About an hour later they pulled into the back entrance of the tower to avoid the paparazzi.

Hopping out of the car Peter called out a quick 'goodbye' to Happy before getting into the elevator. When the doors closed Friday's voice rang through the speakers.

"Hello Peter, how was school?" The AI asked.

"It was good Friday. Could you please take me to whatever floor Mr Stark is on.?" Peter questioned.

"Of course Peter, Boss is currently on the Penthouse floor with the avengers. Would you like me to inform him of your arrival?" Friday questioned.

"Yes please." With that, the elevator started to make its way to the penthouse floor.

When the elevator stopped Peter thanked Friday and made his way out, he dropped his bag on the kitchen counter and walked into the main living area. Peter saw that all the avengers were watching TV (Everyone except Thor who is in Asgard with Loki). Steve, Sam and Bucky were all sharing the couch closest to the window, Tony, Bruce, Rhodey and Nat were on the middle couch directly in front of the TV and Wanda and Vision were sharing a chair together. Mr Stark was the first to notice Peters presence.

"Oh, hey kid, how was school?" Mr Stark asked.

"It was good but boring I already knew most of the stuff they were teaching anyway, but I did get time to design a new formula for my webs," Peter announced taking a seat on one of the empty chairs.

"Well if you want we can go down to the lab and start working on them." Mr Stark offered.

"Really!! That would be awesome Mr Stark!"

The billion air sighed. "Kid how many times do I have to tell you, it's Tony, Mr Stark makes me feel old."

"I know," Peter smirked, "But I'm going to keep calling Mr Stark because you won't stop calling me kid."

"Touché."

The others laughed at the duo's interaction. They were going to turn back to the TV when Fridays voice stopped them.

"Boss Miss Potts would like me to inform you of her arrival."

"Peppers back?" Peter chimed in, a wide smile taking over his features. Pepper had recently been on a trip to Tokyo to help strengthen the company.

"How come you call her Pepper but me Mr Stark!" Tony grumbled, Peter just rolled his eyes making the others laugh. Just then the elevator dinged drawing everyone's attention. Now Peters hearing is amazing meaning that he can hear things that not even Steve or Bucky could, so when Pepper walked out of the elevator he was confused when he heard two heartbeats.

"Hey everyone." Pepper greeted, receiving numerous hi's and hello's from everyone in the room, everyone except Peter that is, who was still trying to figure out what he had just heard.

"Um, Pete you wanna so hi?" Wanda asked, looking at the boy with furrowed eyebrows.

"What? Oh yeah um hi Pepper how was Tokyo?" Peter smiled deciding to ignore what had just happened.

"Tokyo was amazing but the people well they were draining," Pepper laughed, "What have you guys been up to?" Pepper asked taking a seat next to Tony.

"Not much," Natasha replied.

"Miss Potts," Fridays voice rang through the room, " Miss Pierce would like me to inform you that she finished all the paperwork you asked for and she also needs your signature for one of the documents."

"Who the hell is Miss Pierce?" Tony wondered aloud.

Pepper rolled her eyes, "She's the new assistant I told you I was hiring her name is Freya Pierce." As soon as Peter heard her name he got a tingly feeling in the back of his neck. Something wasn't right.

"Tell her to take it to my office and I'll meet her there please Fri," Pepper answered, getting up from her seat.

"Um, Pepper could I come with you?" Peter asked quickly.

"Of course." Pepper smiled.

The two made their way over to the elevator and got in, as soon as the doors closed Peter frowned he could still hear the sound of three heartbeats and then his brain suddenly clicked, Pepper was pregnant.

"Um, Pepper? This is going to be a really weird question but are you pregnant?" Peter asked sheepishly.

Peppers eyes went wide, "H-How did you know?"

"Heightened hearing." Peter shrugged.

Pepper facepalmed, "Of course I totally forgot about that, it was supposed to be a surprise I was going to tell everyone at dinner."

"I won't tell anyone, " Peter assured, a smile slowly growing on his face, "Is it a girl or a boy?"

Pepper laughed, "It's a girl."

"Yes!" Peter triumphed.

Then the elevator dinged cutting off Peters celebrations and he remembered why he was really here, the doors opened to show the hall leading to Peppers office, standing out the front was a young girl round about Peters age, she had brown curls that descended past her shoulders, she was wearing black jeans, black boots and grey shirt with a black leather jacket, in her hands was the paperwork Peter assumed Friday was talking about.

"Thank you so much, Freya, come in here and I'll sign the documents." Pepper gestured to her office. Opening the door the three of them walked inside, as soon as the door closed Peters spider-sense went haywire.

"Just place them on the desk please Katherine." Pepper smiled, Freya nodded and walked over to the desk placing them on the edge.

Freya stood back giving Pepper room to sign the documents, Peter kept his eyes on her the whole time making himself ready for whatever she was planing. A sudden grunt from Pepper made him whip his head around, Pepper had just cut her finger on the paper, but a few seconds was all Freya needed, realising his mistake Peter quickly turned back around only to be face to face with a gun barrel.

"There, all done." Pepper smiled, oblivious to the gun being pointed at Peter.

"Um, Pepper."

"Yes, hun?" Peter would normally smile or blush slightly but now wasn't really the time.

"You might want to turn around." Turning around Pepper gasped in surprise, she slowly put her hands up.

Freya smirked. "It's been wonderful working for you Miss Potts it really has, but I'm afraid I won't be able to make it in tomorrow," she fake pouted. God Peter really hated this woman, he slowly put his hands behind his back preparing to shoot his Web shooters only to realise that they weren't on his wrists. Crap! That might be a problem.

"What are you doing?" Pepper asked.

"I'm getting my revenge," she answered.

"Revenge for what? We haven't done anything."

Freya let out a bitter laugh. "Because I used to have a family, a loving caring family and then our village was attacked with the same weapons that were made in this very tower. I watched my entire family get killed with one blast of a bomb, the only reason I survived was because my mother and father shielded me from the blast, but I didn't get away unscathed," She took off her jacket to reveal burn marks covering her skin, shrugging her jacket back on Freya then turned to Peter.

"And you, not scared? Trying to act brave by not putting your hands up?"

Peter just shrugged. "Not the first time someone's held a gun at me. And quite frankly you're just being dumb I mean seriously, you pull a gun on Miss Potts and don't think that she would have some way of contacting all the avengers with just a push of a button." Peter asked raising his eyebrows, but he was only buying time and praying to the gods that Friday had alerted the avengers.

Freya's facade faltered but she quickly replaced it with a smirk.

"It doesn't matter whether or not they get me, it's whether or not they save her on time." Freya suddenly turned the gun on Pepper and fired. Peter silently thanked the gods for his enhanced reflexes as he jumped in front of her not wanting to hurt her or the baby by pushing her out of the way.

Peter felt the bullet pierce his skin and embed its self in his flesh, he let out a cry and dropped to his knees but still stayed in front of Pepper ready to protect her again if Freya decided to fire another bullet.

Freya was shocked but decided not to dwell on it turning around she ran as fast as she could trying to make it out before the avengers got there.

"Friday call the avengers now!" Pepper yelled as she ran to help Peter, who was still on his knees trying to stop the blood flow with his hands.

"Are you ok? Is the baby ok?" Peter asked looking over at Pepper with worry.

"I'm fine Pete I'm not the one who just got shot."

"Sorry." Peter winced, as Pepper pressed a towel on the open wound.

"What are you sorry for?" Pepper asked trying to put enough pressure on at the same time.

"I'm getting blood everywhere."

Pepper sighed this kid was too good for his own good. "Pete right now that is the least of my problems."

"I'm fine, it's just a bullet wound, I've had way worse trust me." Peter laughed slightly but stopped when he saw the expression on Pepper's face.

"What-" Pepper stopped herself, "That's a question for another day right now I need to get you to the med-bay."

Pepper put Peters arm over her shoulder and hers under his and started to lift him up. Peter winced a couple of times until he was standing up fully straight, or a straight as you could be when half of your body is leaning in the other direction.

"Friday tell Bruce to set up the med-bay," Pepper called out as she helped Peter make his way to the door.

"Bruce is currently in the med bay setting up and the rest of the Avengers are on their way," Friday responded, as if on cue the elevator opened up and the avengers ran out decked in full gear. Peter would have laughed if it wasn't for the pain in his side and the fact he was starting to see two of everything.

"What the hell happened?!" Tony exclaimed as he grabbed Peters other arm to help with the weight.

"We don't Have time for that right now, we need to get him to the med-bay he's losing a lot of blood."

Clint ran over and took Peppers place and helped Tony take Peter to the med bay all the while trying to keep the young spiderling awake.

When they got to the med-bay they quickly but carefully placed Peter down on the bed that Bruce set up, Peter winced at the movement and bit his lip to keep himself from crying out. Bruce quickly ushered everyone out of the way and began to take the bullet out before his enhanced healing covered it. Unfortunately one of the downsides to having an enhanced metabolism is that it eats through the sedatives way too quickly, meaning that Peter had to be awake while Bruce took the bullet out. Bruce was halfway through taking the bullet out when Peter finally passed out. *******

The others were anxiously waiting outside the room, praying that Peter would be alright. Bucky, Steve, Wanda, Rhodey, Sam and Pepper were sitting on the chairs out the front of the med-bay Vision was floating close to Wanda and Tony was pacing back and forth running his hand through his hair over and over again.

"What happened?" Tony asked suddenly stopping and turning to Pepper.

Pepper sighed and began to tell them exactly what happened.

"-And then I heard the gunfire and I closed my eyes waiting for the bullet to hit me but instead I heard Peter cry out and when I opened my eyes he was in front of me with a bullet wound in his side, and then Freya ran so I tried to stop the bleeding and helped him up and that's when you guys came in."

"Well Freya didn't get very far, security stopped her before she could get out," Sam smirked.

"Of course the kid would try and save you, but why didn't he push you out of the way," Tony asked, "I mean if he pushed you out of the way then you both would have gotten out unscathed and Peter would have been able to catch her, so why did he stand in front of you?" Tony asked mainly to himself.

"I-I don't know." Pepper cursed herself for stuttering.

Tony frowned slightly. "Pep why did he jump in front of you?" he asked again this time to Pepper.

The others were listening in closely for her answer.

"I don't know," Pepper repeated.

"Tony just leave it and come sit down." Rhodey pipped up gesturing to the seat beside him.

"NO! No, I will not just leave it my kid is in there with a bullet wound that he wouldn't have got if he had just pushed Pepper out of the way so why didn't he?" Tony demanded.

"BECAUSE I'M PREGNANT!" Pepper finally yelled.

Everyone went silent, their eyes grew wide and small smiles started to form on their faces.

"What?" Tony asked his voice barely above a whisper.

"I'm pregnant," Pepper repeated with a soft smile. Before Pepper could even register what was happening she was being enveloped in a hug, Tony held her tight his face nuzzled into her neck and pepper could have sworn she felt something wet fall onto her shoulder. When Tony finally let go he brought Pepper in for a passionate kiss.

When they pulled away Tony frowned. "Wait how did Peter know, did you tell him before me." He gasped bring his hand up to his heart in mock hurt, making the others laugh.

"No, it's because of his enhanced hearing, when we were in the elevator he asked me, I was shocked at how he knew but then he told me it's because he could hear a second heartbeat."

"Wow, that kid really is something," Bucky said.

"Yeah, he sure is." Bruce agreed, startling everyone as he came out of the med-bay.

"Bruce, how is he?" Tony asked quickly praying to gods it didn't hit anything important and that Peter was going to be ok.

"He's fine," Bruce assured, "Actually he's better than fine, his system I-I've never seen anything like it before. I mean Steve's and Bucky's is good but Peter's is amazing the way it works is fascinating. Normally when Steve or Bucky get shot it takes a little while to heal, but Peters system is working at a phenomenal speed, meaning when he wakes up he might feel a bit sore but it will only feel like a bruise." Bruce explained.

Everyone was shocked, they knew Peters healing was good but they didn't know it was that good.

"Can we go in?" Tony question, Bruce gave him a nod and Pepper and he rushed in.

When they got to Peters bed they saw the bandage wrapped around his waist and the heart monitors finger clip attached to his finger, the monitor was beeping in a steady rhythm, indicating that Peters heart rate was normal.

They both took a seat on either side of Peter and took his hand making sure that they would be the first ones he would see when he woke up. They sat in the med-bay for half an hour before the little spider started to wake up.

"Mmhm." Peter moaned trying to open his eyes, but once they did open he regretted it because a bright light blinded him. He waited a couple of seconds before opening them again.

"What happened?" Peter mumbled, but he suddenly sat bolt upright scaring the daylights out of Pepper and Tony, "Is Pepper OK! Is the baby OK!" He asked quickly looking around still waiting for his eyes to adjust properly.

Tony and Pepper laughed softly. "She's fine kiddo, and so is the baby," Tony answered.

"Oh, hey Mr Stark," Peter waved slightly before his eyes went as wide as dinner plates, "OMG! I just told him about the baby! I promised I wouldn't tell because you were going to tell them all at dinner. I am a despicable human being." Peter gasped, putting his face in his hands.

Pepper laughed, "Pete it's fine I already told him."

"Oh thank the gods." Peter sighed.

Just then the vent swung open and Clint fell out.

"Ow." He groaned, but a smile quickly took over his face when he saw that Peter was awake.

Getting off the floor he gave Peter a hug ruffling his hair making Peter growl. Soon all the avengers were in the med-bay they all gave Peter a hug, glad that he was ok. And Peter loved it he loved them and sure they were a very dysfunctional family but they were his dysfunctional family.

"So Pepper, what are you going to name the baby?" Natasha asked.

"WAIT YOU PREGNANT!!!" Bruce yelled.

[popculturebuffet]

Darkwing Duck Reviews: Darkly Dawns the Duck Pts 1 and 2

It’s a Darkwing Double Feature! Just in time for his ducktales special, I take a look at the introduction of everyone’s favorite Daring Duck of Mystery. In his daring debut we meet Darkwing Duck, an egositical and attention hungry superhero who soon finds himself having to look after a feisty orphan to keep her from getting nabbed by local kingpin of crime Taurus Bulba with the help of his biggest fan. Darkwing owns the night under the cut with decades old spoilers. 

Let’s Get Dangerous.. is tommorow so with that in mind i’m doing a darkwing double feature to refresh myself before the big special. So i’ll be covering both the original series pilot “Darkly Dawns the Duck” and the ducktales reboot episode “The Duck Knight Returns”.  Let’s Get Dangerous Itself because I was so wiped yesterday I didn’t get the other review done and unexpectly got acess to the new episode way earlier than usual so i’d rather focus on that. Got it? Good. Let’s continue past me. 

As usual with a new show a breif bit about my history with it: I watched it years ago, as a friend of mine lent me the first two discs of the season 1 dvd and never found the third one nor asked for them back, nor cared I had them. I thoughtly enjoyed it, had a great time and then it took me a decade or so to actually watch the series again due to a combination of being too stubborn to just buy the season 1 dvd again, a very darkwing move of me in hindsight, and then when disney plus meant I had all episodes at my finger tips I.. sat on them till now.. though to be fair i’ve sat on a LOT of great shows on there including the mandalorian, gargoyles and boy meets world. I have a bad tendency to procastinate, the fact this is coming out so late in the day should be a giveaway. I did read about half of volume 1 of the comic and all of volume 2, so there’s that at least.  Point is this new episode finally made me decide to get off my ass and watch darkwing once again, starting with the pilot and the episodes related to the fearsome four to be ready for tomorrow to see what the differences are (Thoguh I did remember bushroot vividly, so I had that at least).  Something to note before I get started talking about the pilot itself though, is the episode order for Darkwing Duck is a Darkwing Clusterfuck. Now I do understand WHY they aired this way: While some episodes do logically take place after other episodes, you can reasonably pop on just about any darkwing and watch it and enjoy it with minimal need to know what happened in previous episodes, kinda like batman the animated series oddly enough. It was also aired between two networks so on some level I get disney’s confusion here.. but on the other hand it’d take ten minutes, they clearly can call up the creator easily as Tad Stones made a cameo in ducktales 2017 we’ll get to so they could easily get a better order from the creator himself, so they really don’t have an excuse for this, or for slapping the pilot in the middle of season 1. Then again both ducktales 2017 and x-men the animated series were sort of a mess order wise when first put up, so not giving a shit about where episodes are placed for re-watching clearly is a pastime of theirs. 

Now i’ve got that out of my system we can dive into the episode itself and a breif plot synopsis. Darkwing Duck is the superhero protector of St. Canard, a masked vigiliante who takes out crime but wishes he actually got fame and credit for his work. Kind of like Booster Gold but without taking endorsments or as far as we know coming from the future. He also has nothing else as shown by the fact he fights crime, does a training regimine to prepare his breakfast that’s a delight to watch then prepares to sleep. It’s an intresting concept, a hero who HAD a civlian identity once, as the rest of the series would play out, he just no longer needs it. And it’s also ahead of it’s time as batman would explore this idea both seriously with bruce wayne murderer and comedically and seriously with the lego batman movie LONG after this series aired, meaning the writers here figured out what many probably knew about batman and put it into their parody version: Batman is the real identity and Bruce is the mask. Batman only keeps his old self because the bruce id is useful to him: It keeps people away from his company, puts up a playboy facade that draws attention away from him being batman, and allows him to do various charities and what not and help honor his parents in a way that dosen’t involve swooping in and kicking people in the throat. And as seen with bruce wayne murderer when the option to throw bruce away for good came up Batman gladly took it.  This is the same idea: Drake Mallard ONLY cares about crime fighting, has no friends no family, we never do find out jack about his family hopefully if there’s a full reboot series Frank and Matt fix it for their version. He has nothing, and is fine with that. He hasn’t really had a reason to care about anything else than his own glory and works alone not because it’s less efficent but because his oversized ego means he dosen’t want to share credit. IT’s an intresting start and his ego would be a defining bit of who he is and used intrestingly int he reboot but we’ll get to that there. 

His life changes forever though when local crime boss Taurus Bulba unleashes his latest scheme: To steal the Ramrod, a gravity manipulating device created by the late Dr. Quackmeyer.. late because Bulba’s men killed him and were dumb enough not to get the arming code for the ramrod first a year ago. Bulba is also behind bars but in one of my faviorite gags of the episode despite the warden’s constnat gloating, Bulba has taken the “Supervillian makes jail into a base” Or “Jail is nothing to a supervillian who can easily get out trope” to ludcrious machines. He has whole meetings with his minions, keeps the ramrod once he gets his hands on it in the laundry and has a ship SHAPED LIKE HIS FACE built into his cellblock. I’ts just so over the top it’s glorious. But yeah since Bulba can’t go after it at first he sends his three goofy minons, one played by eddie “Mandark” deezen in.. love that guy. 

THey do end up stealing the ramrod thanks to the help of bulba’s cool, non-anthromporhic condor who he uses as his right hand man and as his link to his minons via a small tv aroudn it’s neck. That.. is awesome. Darkwing spots the condor but fails to stop the three stooges or the condor and gets unknowingly blamed for the robbery..and stopped to get glamor shots not realizing the guy thought he was a criminla which.. fair enough. It is a shadowy disguise after all. 

Darkwing ends up grabbing onto the vulture sonic 3 style, but ends up falling off him into a hangar where we meet the original version of Launchpad McQuack, whose apparently quit working for scrooge and has his own hangar now though it wouldn’t be a stretch that scrooge bought it for him.. he does , stingy as he is, appricate hard work and launchpad wanting to start his own buisness and while hte planes were probably all on launchpad, Scrooge would gladly buy a run down buliding for a loyal friend who wants to put in some hard honest work. Plus it’s a free place to store any vehicles he has in the st canard area.. I mean it’s still scrooge. And yes I know the whole “Tad stones said they aren’t the same universe” non sense. I do have the utmost respect for the guy and he seems really, nice but I don’ tlike that, no one likes that and both the comics and the current duckverse with the ducktales reboot entirely ignore that for good reason.While the two shows are diffrent in tone they stil lfit and it’s not a stretch for launchpad to want to spread his wings or failing that scrooge to help push him out of the nest and give him his own buisness or one of scrooge’s to run. 

But while Launchpad does help DW with a propeller plane they fail and while launchpad offers to be his sidekick, DW gives him the old I work alone bit.  However him being alone won’t last for long as Bulba still needs that arming code and since his only lead is Waddlemeyer’s grandaughter who grew up in his lab, he sends his buffonish minons to go get him. Why he never sends his lone female minon with them is because it’s funnier if she dosen’t I guess. Which it is so fair enough.  So thus we enter Goslyn, who the head of the orphanage is fed up with due to her antics. Goslyn is played as most of you knwo by christine cavanagh.. I honestly forgot and it still throws me off a bit she’s using what would later be her chucky finster voice for a character so completely diffrent. Granted it’s not unusual in voice acting, just weird here and only for me personally having grown up with rugrats but not darkwing. The orphanage head is a bit less jarring as she’s played by Marcia Wallace, aka Edna Krabable from the simpsons but A) that show was already running at this point and B), the character is basically a nicer version of edna versus chuckies voice coming out of a tiny if immensly fun to watch hellion. I do like goslyn, sh’es a fun character even in her shadier moments, it’s just something i’d forgotten about i’ll need to get used to is all. 

Bulba’s hired goons come in claming ot be friends of her grandpas and we actually get some really heartwrenching context for Gos’ behavior: While she does act out she actually LIKES THE orphanage.. ti’s just her friends keep getting adopted while no one wants someone “full of spirit”. It’s heartwrecnhing to hear.. and only gets worse when the goons try and kidnap her.  Thankfully Darkwing.. also kidnaps her, but he kindaps her from kidnappers and while Goslyn naturally takes a second to realize he’s the good guy them shooting at him clues her in. Darkwing, in a rare for the series as a whole moment of reason and not wanting to just power though something himself TRIES to do the responsible thing and leave gos with the police where she’ll be protected.. but given they think he’s a wanted criminal they shoot at him.. and the small child in his motorcycle. Yup that’s the police alright. 

So with no other options Darkwing takes gos home, hyjinks insue including her activintg the breakfast thing. But the two genuinely start to bond. While Darkwing dosen’t WANT to keep her around, the whole not wanting connections thing, it’s clear he’s growing fond of the little snot as she holds her own with his trianing course, they have a tickle fight and in the sweetest moment of the episode the two sing little girl blue, a song her grandfather used to sing her to sleep that she teaches darkwing. It’s an utterly heartmelting bit and Cummings and Cavanagh really sell the hell out of it. It also however turns out ot be plot relevant: Turns out just in case Dr. Waddlemeyer hid the code for the ramrod in the song, and when Darkwing sees a photo Goslyn got from bulba’s goons, he realizes this and realizes that depsite thinking she didn’t know it Goslyn had it all along.. and that as long as h’es around she won’t know.  Bulba is naturally livid at his minons failure and decides now’s the time to take this into his own hands and while he actually liked the prison hq setup, as it did make sense as it was the perfect cover and the warden was too full of himself to realize Bulba was still active and too convinced the bull was beaten down when he clearly wasn’t, but instead as mentioned above awesomely converts his cellblock into a flying ship in the shape of his own head.  Bulba.. is a great villian and I only think the show didn’t use him more because he’s a dead serious, deadly dangerous villian in an otherwise goofy but fun superhero parody show. The show later gained Negaduck, so they had a more dangerous threat for darkwing that fit the show’s tone better while still being utterly terrifying, and likely simply didn’t need him till the idea for the steerminator came up. But I love the guy: he reminds me a lot of the kingpin, a threatning villian who uses his sheer size to beat our hero down, is cool and suave and is an utter mastermind at planning. He also wears a nice suit.  And naturlaly he has a plan to take out darkwing since despite the two never having met, as Darkwing disparages when Goslyn assumes their lifelong mortal enmies like in the comics, they know of each other.. and thus bulba knows exactly what trap to spring to get him out of the way and goslyn into his ship: He flashes a message in morris code that he wants to surrender to Darkwing while stroking his ego a LOT. And it works... while i’ts an obvious trap Darkwing’s so full of himself he goes despite Goslyn telling him it’s very obviously a trap.  Naturally everything goes pear shaped as a result: Bulba shows up, revealing gos not only to be right but easily pummling Darkwing. Which makes sense: While Darkwing is a vetran crime fighter and secret agent, Bulba’s been at being a villian longer clearly as he’s built up enough of a rep both for Darkwing to know him out of hand and for the warden to be proud capturing him. Given what univese this is, it probably isn’t Bulba’s first round with a superhero and given at this stage St Canard only has one.. yeah Darkwing is outclasssed and the police grab him while Bulba scarpers. And while Gos puts up a good fight using the trianing course, Bulba’s vulture gets her. Bulba has everything he needs.  Darkwing meanwhile actually bemoans what a dick he’s been, that the first person he’s cared about besides himself in possibly ever is now in the hands of a murderous mastermind, and that he’s stuck in jail with no one to call on for help. Thankfully.. help arrives.. and by help I mean launchpad backing the ratcatcher, Darkwing’s bike, into the prisoin. He DID come just to bail DW out despite his earlier jerkishness, but backed in and Darkwing not beliving superheroes have time for paperwork, decides to just bust out. And to be ifair int his case he’s probably right as you know, a ten year old might die if they don’t get there in time. So off they go.. but with Bulba in the air they need something with wings to catch him. ANd luckily as Launchpad mentioned earlier he’s been working on something special for darkwing.  It’s with this we enter the thunderquack, which is DW”S awesome headshaped plane. It’s just cool it’s got a nice design, goofy enough tof it the universe but cool enoguh to still be fun to watch. Darkwing has really damn cool vehicles, as the ratcatcher is also awesomely iconic. But yeah the thunderquack impresses darkwing and rightfully so and he decides to make LP his sidekick afterall.  So now our heroes fly into the danger zone and attack bulba’s airship with Darkwing landing on the bow and a scuffle insues with darkwing and hte minons.. who use actual guns which for a 90′s kids show is  a suprise, especially one this intentioanlly goofy, but boy is it nice. However Bulba, being awesomely evil, isn’t dumb and instead of fighting darkwing, which he could win but would win him nothing and having gotten nothing out of goslyn, figures the hero might know the code.. and while Darkwing lies and says he dosen’t, Bulba points out .. he’s right.. but he’s always been a gambling man and has his condor drop goslyn to lure drake into telling him , with DW putting in the code and bulba testing it with a bank robbery.. before predictably having his condor drop the girl because he no longer needs her. Thankfully launchpad catches her in time and then they get revenge on the condor with the thunderquack BITING IT.. which is awesome. Hopefully the reboot version does that. 

Darkwing meanwhile saves the day, his new daughter and the city by simply sneaking over to the ramrod and mashign the keys till it overloads, silly, but undeniably awesome and effective. Bulba TRIES to finish off darkwing this time for foiling his plan.. btu the ramrod explodes and while bulba’s minons and goslyn and launchpad are safe... bulba and darkwing are apparently dead and it’s effective.  A few weeks later Goslyn’s back at the orphanage utterly distraught and broken at being basically orphaned again. Naturally though Darkwing’s alive, having taken his old identnity back since now he has something worth using it for and adopts her, hinting at who he is so she goes with him. And Drake has changed.. sure he’ll still be as egostical and impuslive as he was here.. but he’s no longer just darkwing.. he’s drake again as he has someone worth fighting for.. two someones in fact. He has a friend, a loyal partner to help him fight cime. And more importantly.. he has a loving daughter. And both needed each other: Goslyn needed someone who understood her despite her manic energy, and Drake needed someone who needed him and not darkwing, a reason to be a person outside the cape and cowl and outside the attention again. He needed a reason to live again... and he’s got it. And it’s going to be great. 

Final Thoughts: This pilot is excellent. Well paced, plenty of laughs, tense action and great introductions for everyone involved as well as a hell of a vilian> This is how you do a first episode: it introduces the main themes of the show, both comedically and dramatically, introduces the cast and gives us a one off , or rather two off it’d turn out, villian whose compelling and intresting. IT’s really damn good stuff and I can’t wait ot see what frank does with a simlar story tommorow. Until then, stay safe, and happy hallowen. We’ll be back shortly for The Duck Knight returns and then Let’s Get Dangerous tommorow. 

[mariemarvelbear]

Hope-Lego Castle

Avengers x Reader

Warning: Angst.So much Heavy Angst.Slow burn angst.Abuse.Mention of rape.Brainwashed.ANGST.Blood.Torture. Swearing.Kidnap.Hostage.18+

Part 28: Lego Castle

You had regained consciousness during the flight but refused to speak to the people who claimed to be your family.  With the restraints still in place there was nothing you could do; you had tried to pull away from them when a pair of hands tried to touch you-Wanda’s. But you flinched, the redhead instantly retreating. Clint talking to her not to continue any of her plans, that she can do it once you’re all back home. Not now, with your state both mental and physical, no one knew what you were capable of doing. You only said one thing, which earned a glance from the team after finally hearing your voice-not rigged nor hoarse as a while back, your little squeak resurfacing, but still laced with your strong accent, one mimicking Korvac’s. “Where’s Sequioa?”

“Muma!I’m here!We’re flying, mama?Mama,okay?Mama, new friends?” His grasp loosened from Scott’s shirt, desperately wanting to be close to you as possible. His little hands trying to find yours as you lay flat on the gurney-grunting as he tipped his toes towards you. “Want mama.”

“My love.” You cooed, your eyes swelling once again as you observed his face. Your head throbbing in pain as glimpses of your labor with the child came back-wincing in pain, Tony and Steve was quick to react to assess your condition. “Are you alright?” Steve cautiously asked, but you didn’t answer and even placed a stoic reaction as you stared at the people staring back at you. It weirded you out, it confused you to your core as to why you were so calm around them,That you’re not even in panic when Sequioa leaped towards Scott’s embrace-even as his mother. Deep in your heart you knew, they wouldn’t do anything that would hurt you nor your child-and that, somehow, made you at ease.

“We’re not evil, Eve.” Wanda shot back, her eyes knowing as your emerald ones widen. She can read your mind? “You can too.”

“I’m not a witch. Not like you.” You bluntly said, offended towards her comment as you mask your disgust and confusion. “I am not Eve. I am Carina, Queen of Chandillar. Wife of The Great King Mic-Michael?!Where is he?!” You cried, eyes searching for the man you know you love and trust. “I demand you to free me from these entrapments! Show me my husband!” Shrieking, Tony and Steve couldn’t move an inch. It’s not your first time to throw a fit like this, but this is different. You’re like you’re a child who wanted something and is ruled by their Id; and they didn’t know how to handle you, mostly now where you don’t even know the truth .

 Your eyes fluttered open once again, rays of sunshine blinding you as you try to shield your eyes but was stopped by the restraints still strapped onto you- but there were less, yet new lines of tubing’s that was evidently filled with a few sorts of liquid was coursing its way through your veins, a beeping machine beside you which was the only noise that anyone can hear in your room. You were in a white gown and in a white room, the only light visible was from the natural sunlight that came from your window, above the ceiling.

“Good Morning, Eve.” Your train of thought was once interrupted when a young Asian woman entered the room, her attire was similar to yours-but had a different texture and cut. “How are you feeling?” You remained silent, still studying her quiet features-your mind, once again throbbing as you had a few glimpses of the past. “You alright? Your heart rate’s increasing.” She mumbled, quickly assessing your IV- “Is there pain?” You slightly nodded, pointing onto your temporal side of the head, earning a genuine smile from the Doctor. “I’m Doctor Cho. Do you remember me?” Frowning, you gestured a ‘no’ “Should I?” She was quick to compose herself- after hearing your soft voice for years of trying to accept that you’re gone, she smiled. “You’ll get there in time. Is there anything else you’re feeling?”

“Baby?Baby okay?” You asked, your hand quickly embracing your growing womb. Doctor Cho instantly frowned, her gaze not meeting yours anymore as you felt a big change in the atmosphere. “Are you mad?”

“Oh, don’t take it the wrong way.” The doctor reiterated, not wanting you to ask anymore onto why she suddenly felt angry. “Yes, your daughter is okay. You’re currently 34 weeks pregnant, you’re near your due date, so we have to be extra careful.” You slightly nodded, taking your eyes off the doctor, as your mind wandered again. “Do you…remember anything?” She mumbled, earning your attention.

 “Everyone keeps asking me that.” Your lips quivered “And I keep on saying, No. I don’t. I don’t know any of you. I don’t know why you took me away from my home,I don’t even know where my husband is-not even my child. I don’t remember any Avengers, any Avenging or whatever in this world you call that.” You were now full on crying, but unlike before-you’re calm. You wanted them to hear you, how hard it is to be asked from time to time a question you never knew you needed to hear. “ So that’s it. I don’t know you, or Natasha, nor Bucky or that spider guy- I don’t know Tony, nor that blonde guy-that keeps on pushing himself to me, as if-as if I know him?!.” You spat, your eyes widening as it landed onto an ocean of blue ones “I don’t know any of you.So please, Just bring me back home.”

 “Where is Lady Eve?” A loud grunt echoed throughout the vicinity, quickly waking up Steve and Clint who trashed themselves in the lounge area, Bucky and Sam in tow of Natasha who just entered the room. “What’s going on?Is everything alright Thor?”

“I want to see her.” Dropping Stormbreaker, the door creaked open-revealing a Tony with sunken dark under eyes- a coffee in hand. “Not good of a plan.She still hates us.” The billionaire started with as he sauntered his way to the kitchen, reheating his drink. “Anyone want some?”

“I’ll have.” Steve mumbled, hands smothering his face as he tried wiping the restlessness from it. “He’s right.Eve won’t accept any visitors.” Holding out his hand as he grabbed the warm mug from Tony’s reach, Steve drank the liquid that mortals like, some even love it to the extent of having at least a cup every day before their day-Saying that it makes you awake, energized even. Steve’s mind once again wandered to you. You’ve always had a liking with caffeine. But loathed black coffee, dark ones-No sugar nor Splenda. Just like Tony and Natasha liked it. Steve’s brows furrowed, trying to remember the drink you always have in your hand- one you’ll always ask Maria to pick you some-even forcing Nick to try it, the guy instantly loving it. It had something to do with Caramel…But he can’t just lay a finger on it.

“What’s wrong, pointbreak?” Tony interrupted Steve’s thoughts, bringing him back to the present. Sam snickered, remembering the funny nicknames all of the team already forgot after all these events. “Hold on.” Sam was quick to scan the room “Where’s TicTac?”

“Right here Y’fool.” Scott earned everyone’s gaze, after finally emerging from the upstairs lounge, A toddler on his hip. It’s been a week since you were back, nothing much has changed and you were still pissed at everyone trying to let you ‘remember’ things. It was when Tony decided to hire professional therapists and psychiatrist to try and let you do things on your own and help you piece the puzzle altogether. He paid shit ton of money to make sure no one leaks any information, after all-the world knows you’re dead. It was also that time that you got so angry at them, after all-again, you’re at least thirty-five weeks pregnant- and you were getting more irritated with all of them bugging you. One good thing that happened is that you’re not much pissed with them calling you Eve, sometimes though-you’d lash out at them and tell them they’re being annoying again and then they’ll stop. Steve though, He calls you Queen.

“Another bomb day?” Bruce mumbled, trying to hide his laugh as he saw the laughing Sequoia in his friend’s grasp as he held a full diaper. Originally, Sequoia was following Wanda and Nat, but the girls both assigned Scott to do it-well the latter threatening him to, showing her new knife from Tokyo, specifically made for her grip and liking-and that if he doesn’t take the task, she’d be sure to let Scott and her knife get to know each other well. Natasha didn’t hate the child, how can she? He’s your son, but it’s not only him-it’s any kid, it reminds her of her past-her future, one that she dreams of-yet can never attain. Also….How can she take care of a child she doesn’t even know how it was conceived?Natasha winced at the thought, remembering the exact words of Dr. Cho “We may not have any verbal confirmation onto what really happened …But, with the intensive procedures and measurements we’ve done to confirm what we’re all dreading..It shows us that there was a severe trauma or damage, to her vaginal wall, cervical area-“ which was abruptly stopped by Bucky and Tony’s hands smashing through a wall and their desks.

“Toni?Toni..Tonee?” Sequioa lisped, trying to get away from Scott’s grasp and wanting to be held by the billionaire. Tony was quick to catch the little guy, after all-He was yours, which makes every one of them promise to take care of Sequoia as long as you need to rest. “Hi little buddy.”

“Tonee!” Sequioa blew a bubble, and then laughed at himself-making everyone smile. “S’funny Tonee.” A yawn escaped the todddler’s lips, making another bubble-making him burst in laughter once again. “You’re so silly ‘Quioa!” Wanda laughed, patting the child’s head as it rested onto Tony’s shoulder,his eyes starting to droop. “Oof. I think you’re assigned to sleepy time,Tones.” Clint teased, earning a smirk from Tony who is already on his way towards the nursery they set up for the toddler. “At least not diaper duty.” Scott mumbled, earning a laugh from Natasha.

“Who let you in here?” All their eyes darted towards the room in the far-left corner, Your room. All eyes also-widened, quickly seeing Thor already inside. “I told Dr.Cho to not let anyone inside.” As every one of them step inside your suite, they all stopped in their tracks. You’re unbelievably calm.Not mad, nor angry-You’re not even throwing a fit! Thor, about to answer-was interrupted by a son, and then a squeal. “Iana!It’s true!You’re back!It’s you…” Peter gasped, fighting off Strange’s hands as he leaped towards his long lost friend. “You’re here….I was so worried. I was so sad!I even stopped building our lego castle!Because….Because, I really thought you were gone and Mr.Stark told me to try and move on, and I was mad at him! Well…We all somehow got into a fight…But that doesn’t matter anymore! Because you’re now here and you’re back and we’ve all missed you and you’re no impostor anymore!” The team tried their best to stop Peter, but for a child-he talked so fast. After a week of your appearance, they finally told everyone in SHIELD and the rest of the Avengers-after you showed a stable and good condition. And now, they told Peter. The last one to know.As you know…He’s a child. Clingy. Impulsive. Just like now.

“Impostor?” You muttered, your voice softening as you look at everyone’s wide eyes “Lego Castle?”

“Eve…We’re so sorry.Just don’t think of what he’s saying. This is-“ Bruce was quick to answer, assessing you-but was shocked as he saw that your heart rate is not even increasing with whatever Peter is saying.

“Peter?You’re Peter.Right?”

[calpalirwin]

Heart Wins

Summary: Single dad Michael hires a babysitter for his son.

A/N: Not the collab! Ha! Could you imagine?

Word Count: 2.4k

And away, and away we go!

__

“So, I would just need someone to watch him during the day so I can get some studio time in,” Michael told Maya. “I mean, he’s pretty lowkey. Likes to swim in the pool, watch cartoons, basic little kid stuff. I’ll try to keep my schedule as regular as possible, but there might be times I’ll ask you if you can stay later or even help me out on weekends if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, that’s not a problem,” Maya smiled. “And the studio is where?”

“Here, mostly. We try to do what we can at our own places before paying out the ass for ‘professional’ studio time. And since I have Tidus, we usually work here. I just can’t be focused on working with them and watching Tidus at the same time. I mean, it’s not glorious or anything on your end. But, like I said, the kid’s pretty lowkey. And you’ll have the run of the place, so feel free to do whatever. But yeah… any, uh, questions?”

“Um, no I don’t- oh! What happens when you go off on tour?”

“I double your pay?” Michael laughed. “Honestly, I’m not too sure. I’m not set to leave anywhere for about another four months, so if you haven’t run for the hills for something better we can discuss it more then?”

Maya nodded, looking around the house wondering why on Earth she would ever want to give up a sweet ass job like this. “Works for me.”

“Alright,” Michael said, clapping his hands against his thighs and standing up. “I guess I’ll just show you where Tidus is, and leave you guys to it.”

She followed him through the house, up the stairs to a bedroom that had been converted into a playroom. A little boy of no more than 3 or 4 sat in the middle of a comfortable looking couch, his attention held by the cartoon playing on the large television. “Ti,” Michael got the boy’s attention. “This is Maya. She’s gonna watch you for a bit. Can you say hi?”

“Hi,”

“Hey, bud. Whatcha watchin’?” she asked, moving around to sit beside him.

“Pokemon!”

“Oh, cool! I love Pokemon. Who’s your favorite?”

“Pikachu.”

Michael smiled. “Alright, Ti. Maya’s the boss.”

“‘Kay.”

“I’ll be in the basement if you need me for anything,” Michael directed the statement at Maya. “Other than that, make yourself at home.”

“Thank you, Michael.”

~~~

“Maya,” a small voice whispered. “Psst… Maya!”

“Mmm? Wha?” Maya asked, yawning and opening her eyes to find a pair of light green eyes peering back at her under a cloud of soft yellow hair. “AAAHHHH!” She retreated to where her bed met the wall. “Tidus, are you tryin’ to kill me?!”

The six year old laughed. “Sorry… Dad said I wasn’t supposed to wake you…”

“But why would you do a silly thing like listen to your dad?” she questioned with her own laugh.

“Exactly! He’s not the boss of me. You are!”

“Nice save, kid.” She threw back the covers and sat up. “You want pancakes don’t ya?”

“Yes, please!”

“Alright. Your dad in the studio with your uncles?”

“They were there all night!” Tidus told her dramatically as they walked downstairs to the kitchen.

She frowned as she tried to remember what time her phone had said when she finally heard Michael’s footsteps on the stairs and the close of his door. Close to 2 am she was sure. And he’d probably only slept for a few hours before heading back down. He probably hadn’t eaten since yesterday morning, too close to a break through with the newest album to focus on much else. “Do you think they’re hungry?” she asked the boy.

“We’re gonna have to make the whole box,” Tidus giggled.

“Then let’s make the whole box.”

“Can we make a bunch of different kinds?!”

“Of course we can!”

“Whoohoo!”

A half hour and at least six different types of pancakes later, Maya and Tidus made their way to the basement studio. Tidus carefully carried the stack of plates while Maya held the platter of assorted pancakes, a bottle of syrup tucked under her arm. “Knock knock!” they yelled loudly. “Special delivery!” Maya kept up with it as she let them into the room.

The four adult men turned their heads at the intrusion. “That’s a lot of pancakes,” Michael spoke first, stepping forward to help Tidus with the plates before he dropped them.

“Yeah, we went a little overboard,” Maya responded, setting down the platter on the little table in the room. “Figured you guys must be starving.”

“You figured right. Thanks.”

“Oh, I just made the food. Was Ti’s idea.”

“Ti…” Michael said sternly to his son. “I told you to let her sleep.”

“But you said Maya was the boss. You never said I had to listen to you, too.”

Ashton, Calum, Luke, and Maya snickered into their hands as Michael’s green eyes went wide for a second. “What are you? An elephant?”

Tidus put his arm against his nose like a trunk and made his best elephant noise.

“Well in the future, Elephant Boy, you should listen to me, too. I am your dad after all.”

“10-4, boss man!” the boy chirped.

“What in th-?” Michael chuckled, looking over at Maya.

“No idea, boss man,” Maya laughed back. “Well…” she gestured at all the food. “Dig in!”

~~~

“So,” Calum asked, wiping away the last traces of sticky syrup after Maya and Tidus made their way back upstairs. “How long has Maya been watching Ti?”

“Uh…” Michael thought quickly. “‘Bout two years.”

“Mhm… And how long has she lived here?”

“She moved in right after the first tour, so a little over a year.”

“And she’s good with Ti?”

“Oh, she’s great with him. I’d be lost without her.”

“So, you’ve known her for two years. She’s lived with you for one. And she’s great with your kid,” Calum recapped.

“Yeah… That’s what I just said.”

“What Cal’s trying to say,” Ashton cut in, “is have you slept with her yet? And if not, can he?”

“What the fuck?!” Michael screeched at the same time Calum shoved Ashton with a “That is not my question!”

“Is too! Maybe not the sleeping with her yourself part. But the first part’s true. We’re all wondering, mate,” Luke piped up.

“What the fuck?!” Michael repeated, looking at his friends, slack jawed. “What kinda question is that? No, I haven’t slept with her!”

“Why not?”

“She’s Ti’s babysitter!”

“So?”

“So I’m basically her boss, you nitwits! I’m not fuckin’ the babysitter,” he growled.

“Alright, alright,” the other three held up their hands in surrender.

“And neither are any of you lot!” Michael added.

~~~

“Hey, Maya?” Tidus asked as they watched cartoons.

“Yeah, bud?”

“My dad goes on dates, right? To find me a mom?”

She blinked. She had been expecting him to ask if they could go swimming,or play with Legos, not have the Mom conversation. “Uh… well… yeah, your dad goes on dates. But he’s not trying to replace your mom.”

“No, I know that. But like, he’s trying to find someone that would love us like a mom would. Right?”

“Right. He just wants someone who’s gonna love you as much as he does.”

“So, why doesn’t he take you out on a date?”

Maya choked. “Uh… it’s not that simple, bud.”

“Well, why not? I mean, you’re here. And you don’t get mad at me when I wake you up to make pancakes. And you take me swimming, and watch cartoons with me. And you help in my classroom like all the other moms. Is it cuz you don’t love me?”

“What?! Of course I love you, you goof!”

“So, why can’t you date Dad and be my mom?”

Maya sighed. “It’s not that simple, Ti. Your dad and I have a different relationship.”

“Oh… Will you still stay if I do get a mom?”

“Of course I’ll stay!” she told him, even though she really had no way of knowing. She supposed it would depend on what the new woman did for a living herself, and how comfortable she would be with Maya staying in the house.

“Cool. Cuz me and Dad really like you here.”

“Dad and I,” she corrected absentmindedly.

“Dad and I,” he repeated. “Do you like being with us?”

“No place I’d rather be,” she grinned at him.

~~~

Michael’s head swam with his conversation with his bandmates. Yes, him and Maya got along with each other. Yes, Michael had come to view the woman as not only an integral part of his life, but also as part of the family. Maya had been there for every moment him and Tidus had over the last two years. And she was pretty in a way that often left him breathless, whether she was in a tank top and pajama bottoms with her hair slightly ruffled from sleep, or totally dolled up in a way befitting of magazine covers. But this wasn’t some friendship that could handle a little awkwardness. There were so many ways things could go with too many options for how it could end, each one worse than the last. And to risk it all over a maybe crush? No. It was far better to keep his mouth shut.

Unbeknownst for Michael, Maya’s own head had been swimming with her own equally conflicted thoughts that matched his own. “Hey, Michael,” her soft voice greeted him in the dark hallway.

“Shit!” he whisper-screamed, hand flying to his chest. “Fuck… didn’t see you there.”

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare ya…”

“Nah, it’s…” he shook his head. “Did I wake you?”

“No,” it was her turn to shake her head. “Was just about to turn in.”

“Oh… well, night then.”

“Night,” she murmured, feeling his body brush past hers. “Hey, Michael?”

“Yeah?”

“Um… can we talk a moment? Ti said something earlier that you should probably be aware of.”

“Yeah, course. C’mon, we can talk in here.” He led them both into his bedroom, flicking on the light. “Is everything alright?” he asked as he sat on the edge of his bed, patting the space next to him.

“Oh, it’s not bad! Just… curious,” she told him as she sat beside him.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, he mentioned you dating.”

“Aw, shit… I guess I didn’t explain that to him as well as I thought I did…”

“No, no,” Maya shook her head. “He understands. Well, as much as any six year old can anyway. It’s, uh… well he brought up something that I just can’t seem to shake.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah… um… and I’m not asking to put you on the spot or anything. It’s just…”

“Curious?” he supplied.

“Yeah. Um… what happens when one of these women becomes your long-term girlfriend or wife? Like… what would that mean for me?”

Michael leaned back on his arms. “Shit… Tidus came up with that?”

“Well, he asked if I would stay. I sort of filled in the rest.”

Michael nodded. Then, “What would you do? If it weren’t for this, what would you be doing?”

She shrugged. “Probably teach. I don’t think I’d have it in me to get invested in another family like I am with you guys.”

He nodded again. “Well, I certainly wouldn’t want to see you go.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He smiled before laughing. “Aw shit. That explains a lot actually.” He kept laughing.

“I’m sorry?” she asked, not getting the joke.

“I’m the single dad with a live-in babysitter. No wonder all my dates end horribly.”

“Oh geez!” she laughed with him. “Sorry, I don’t mean to laugh. That’s just…”

“Utterly ridiculous?”

“That’s terrible. Like this is my job. Sorry it’s ruining your dates.”

“Nah, it’s not your fault. Guess some people are just immature. Like I couldn’t possibly resist the temptation of having a beautiful woman in my home.”

“Beautiful woman?” she blinked, turning her head to look at Michael with his flushed cheeks.

“I- I didn’t mean it like that,” he rushed. “I mean, you are. Beautiful. But I- no. I should stop talking now.”

“No. What were you gonna say?”

“Well… I mean I pay you to be here. It’s not like you’re here because you want to be. I mean, maybe you do now. I hope anyway. But, like you’re here because you’re doing a job. If I wasn’t paying you I doubt you’d stay.”

“Well I wouldn’t be here if you didn’t pay me because I already feel bad enough you let me live here rent free. Not because I don’t want to be here.”

“Well, I appreciate the sentiment. But, this is all hypothetical. I need to find a girl who won’t run away once she realizes what my life really entails first.”

Maya brought a finger to her lips in thought. “Hmm… yeah, good luck with that one.”

Michael laughed. “Yeah. So if you have any friends who are understanding like you, lemme know.”

She laughed with him. “Sorry. Just me, I’m afraid.”

“Bummer…”

“Ouch!” She swatted his arm playfully. “You’d be lucky to have me.”

“I am lucky to have you,” he corrected. “But… we…” he pointed back and forth between them. “It’d be stupid.”

“Terribly stupid,” she sighed in agreement. “Or at least that’s what I told Tidus when he asked. Well, I said it wasn’t simple. But same thing.”

Michael choked. “He asked you what?”

“He asked why you didn’t take me out. Since how you’re trying to find a woman that loves him as much as you do.”

“Shit… how’d that kid get so smart?”

“No idea,” she joked. “Must be his babysitter.”

“Can’t be me, that’s for damn sure. If I was smart, I’d know what to do right now.”

“What's your brain saying?”

“To shut up, go to bed, and to keep trying to make it work with other women the way it already works with you so I don’t fuck up a good thing.”

“And your heart?”

“To take the risk anyway because at least then maybe I’ll have a clear answer.”

“And which are you gonna listen to?”

“No idea.”

“That makes two of us.” Maya patted his leg as she stood up. “G’night, Michael.”

“Wait,” he said, his fingers wrapping around her wrist. “Two of us? You feel this way too?”

“Course I do. But that doesn’t matter. Does it?”

“Fuck it,” he muttered to himself, tugging on her wrist so she fell down on his lap. “Heart wins.” His fingers stroked gently up her cheeks as he cradled her face in his hands, his lips brushing against hers.

She sighed into the kiss, tangling her own fingers in his soft hair, changing positions so she was straddling his lap. “Heart wins,” she agreed against his lips, as she started to pull away. “We can figure out the rest later.”

“Agreed,” he nodded frantically, green eyes shining brightly. “Fuck, c’mere.”

__

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[regrettablewritings]

(Just gonna reply to both reblogs in one go)

@locke-writes

Benoit response:

Like I said, I don’t think Benoit really gets drunk all that much, so it’s moments to be cherished. I can’t see him being a particularly rambunctious drunk, either, he just is probably more open to banter and singing than he normally would be sober. . . . It’s still something worth seeing, tho 👀

Broooo saaammmeee. I mean, I’m not necessarily lactose intolerant, but I do sometimes get wrecked by something my mom and I theorize might be 2% whole milk. And yet, guess whose dumb ass keeps buying it because it’s her favorite of the unflavored milks? (Hint: It’s fucking me!)

Me 🤝 Noah Knowing that mint chocolate chip ice cream is worth it

If they don’t make it accurate that Benoit has trouble compartmentalizing, I’ll have to bitterly accept it . . . and then probably wind up disregarding it in the end anyway. Because frankly, it just makes too much sense that he would, especially if the case is particularly intriguing to him. Remember, he spent much of the movie mainly invested/interested in finding out who hired him because his initial theory of Harlan’s death being related to murder seemed too obvious yet clear cut. But it’s in that pursuit that he winds up crossing a few lines, or becoming blinded by his own interests and consequently forgetting about those around him and/or those whom he may see as “in his way”. That being said, I feel like once he’s calmed down somewhat, he technically can play as hard as he works -- but his brain is just always “on”, what with his training in analyzing everything, that it’s nearly impossible. . . . What Rian Johnson prove me the fuck wrong in a sequel🙃

Dewey response:

As if there’s any reasoning necessary for Dewey to microwave Peeps . . . I feel like even if he weren’t dared, it was only a matter of time before he did it. Probably drunk and of his own, free (and misguided) accord, let’s be real.

“With the fact that it’s Peeps, you know the outcome isn’t gonna be great.” - Me, an outspoken Peep-hater

He doesn’t know what happened . . . One minute, he’s jamming out and attempting to slide on his knees on stage at the high school talent show . . . The next, he’s in his twenties and just sleeping wrong can mean the rest of his day is fucked . . . “Don’t get old, kids,” he grunts out of nowhere as he downs a bottle of Ensure in front of his confused students.

Dewey is literally the meme where DW says a sign can’t stop her because she can’t read. Only with him, it’s “That obstacle of my body/personal limitations/lack of experience can’t stop me because I can’t recognize boundaries!”

Because I signed a pact. That, and watching Youtube analysis videos surprisingly helps me put into words what my thoughts are because some people are just better at saying what’s on my mind than even I am.

You and Dew have been working on a Lego set that’s supposed to come out resembling an entire NES set. You loved it when you bought it. You hate it now that you have it and it just won’t build itself.

Once again, because it cannot be said enough:

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR INTERACTING AND ALSO I HOPE YOUR WEEK GOES BETTER!!!!

[crimenight-a]

ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS ATTRIBUTES ASSOCIATED WITH BATMAN is his seemingly uncaring    &    stoic nature.    it’s also one of the generalizations i openly despise;    the more recent batman media has shaped our understanding of his person in the wrong way.    while i agree that he does seem cold at times,    it’s not for the reason most people immediately think.    so,    in this meta,    i’m going to walk you through bruce’s story    &    explain why he is the way he is.

first,    i want to address the general perception concerning his emotional state.    readers/watchers,    alike,    think bruce’s apathetic nature is related to his trauma.    they’re only half right,    for it did indirectly lead him to change his outward expression of self,    but it’s not the direct reason.    even characters in the DC universe comment on bruce’s apparent lack of distress-like emotions:

❝   your ward    &    my daughter are in mortal danger !    indeed,    batman, they may already be dead !   yet you show no signs of agitation–   nor do you exhibit any curiosity concerning my humble self !    have you no feelings ?   ❞                                                                                                                                    -- batman (1940) #232

ra’s al ghul says this upon meeting bruce for the first time    &    enlisting his help in saving his daughter,    talia al ghul.    we see many variations of this repeat with superman,    wonder woman,    green lantern,    the flash,    &   many more.    so,    it’s not only the general public in our world that thinks batman doesn’t feel anything,    that thought process is also preserved in characters from within DC’s universe.    another type of media that’s to blame are the comedic types.    there’s so many cartoons    &    comics that depict a younger bruce to be very stoic    &    cold,    batman’s voice    &    intimidating nature are ridiculed by many heroes   (  i’m looking at you,    mcu tony/peter   ).   i won’t deny that these moments are very funny    (   especially when DC retaliates like in that batman lego movie where batman screams ‘IRON MAN SUCKS!’   ),   but in actuality,    it still adds to this prevailing idea that he really feels nothing.    i won’t lie   &    say i thought differently before i made this blog,    because i didn’t.    much to my surprise,    however,    it only took me a few issues from detective comics/the original batman run to understand that we’ve been wrong all along.

you may now be asking,    ‘if he’s not truly uncaring,    then why does he act like he is ?’    well,    let me point you to this single issue that i wish i could have every one of these new writers that dc hires read,    it’s detective comics’ (1989) second annual issue    (   if you’re interested,    you can read it here !     although,    a quick warning that this issue deals with the K/KK    &   it’s displayed as such on the cover;    be careful if you decide to read   ).   it follows a young bruce,    only seventeen    (   already quite buff    &   skilled,    might i add   ),   who asks to shadow a famous detective in what i believe is rural new jersey.    harvey harris was hailed to be one of the greatest detectives on the east coast,    there was nothing he couldn’t handle.    at that point,    bruce didn’t really know how he was going to go about waging a war on crime    (   he juggled with options like the FBI,    GCPD,    district attorney,    more legal positions   ),   but he knew detective work was something he’d probably have to do no matter what he chose.    so,    he sent a letter to harris,    asking to shadow him under the name frank dixon,    harris accepted with a warning that the case he had on his hands was incredibly violent    &    horrific.    throughout this issue,    we see many instances where bruce lets his emotions get the better of him    &    it ultimately leads to harris’s demise    (    indirectly,    yes,    but this is a pattern in bruce’s story.    if he did just one thing differently,    he could have saved his parents,    harvey harris,    &    COUNTLESS more people.    the fact haunts him to this day    ).   bruce    &    harris eventually track down the person who has been killing people in that small rural town,    &    he sees that he’s in the process of another murder.    i’m sure you can guess what bruce did,    he screamed    &    lunged for the man in a hot flash of rage,    the man pulls a gun.    bruce knocks him out in one swift punch,    but the gun still goes off    &    it, unfortunately,    hits harris.    in his dying moments,    he tells bruce something that sticks with him still to this day:

❝   i never tried to teach you detection.    you already got the mind for it.    but when you let your emotions take control,    you just go blind.    i don’t know where you’re headed from here,    bruce,    but wherever it is,    remember…    you gotta control that anger.    when you get that into your head– really know it– then ol’ harvey will have done right by you.   ❞                                                                                                             -- detective comics (1989) annual #2

harris had been commenting on bruce’s anger for the entire time they’ve been together,    &    we can really see how bruce struggles with understanding his own emotions through his many warnings:

❝   nice spottin’,    by the way.    now,    if we could just do somethin’ about that temper..   ❞ ❝   son,    it’s rare i see a man who carries such rage so close to the surface.   ❞ ❝   harvey was right.    because i was a hothead..  ❞    (   bruce says this   )

the thing is,    bruce had been incredibly polite to mostly everyone.    the only times he lost his cool is when people didn’t cooperate with him    &    harris on the case,    or if they made fun of him for being a “pretty,    city boy.”    most of the time,    harris had to physically hold bruce back from doing something he’d quickly regret,    such as picking a fight with grown men twice his size    (   i would like to proudly add that bruce beat these guys shitless,    but they trashed his fancy red porsche :/   ).   i know i’m spending a lot of time on this single annual,    but it’s SO important when you realize that bruce really does have anger management issues to the point where he can’t hold back his own outbursts.    let’s compare that younger bruce to the one we know today,    there’s quite a stark difference,    isn’t there ?   the batman we’re familiar with would never jump into anything without thinking about it many times over.    that’s because bruce took what harris said to heart,    &    he worked damn hard to implement his advice:

❝   i had a crazy hate,    too.    but unlike carr,    i refused to let it blind me to reality.    to the truth.    i went over the entire case eleven times,    in each instances extracting more    &    more of my emotional involvement.    &    on the twelfth pass through–a coldly logical pass–i saw what had been bothering me.    &    i knew that it wasn’t over.   ❞                                             note: carr is the murderer that bruce lunged at    &    the one that killed harris.

for us,    removing our emotions    &    thinking about something logically can range from being impossible to incredibly difficult.    imagine,    then,    the mental strength bruce,    a boy who had always been obnoxiously transparent with his feelings,    had to exert in order to go through this case without feeling some immense distracting rage    (   this ties into one of his character’s core ideas:    batman’s will/willpower is insurmountable compared to even other superheroes    ).   he eventually found out that carr was nothing more than a human weapon that someone else had been manipulating,    but the point is:    bruce realized through this issue that he wasn’t good at solving cases because he could never separate his own emotions from the victim’s.    from then on,    he tried his best to be “coldly logical” with every case he comes across,    &    he eventually adopted this state of mind when he was in the batsuit regularly.    being batman requires a ridiculously high amount of awareness    &    general perception.    if he’s constantly angry    &    jumping to rash conclusions,    he’s not going to last long.

however,    this doesn’t mean that bruce doesn’t slip up    &    let his emotions get the best of him even as an adult.    one of the most apparent examples of this is when jason dies.    i think most of us know how terrible that was    &    how bruce blames himself.    in order to keep this meta from getting unnecessarily longer,    all we need to take away from that arc is that bruce quite honestly drowns with guilt because if he had chosen to go after jason instead of go after someone else,    jason would still be alive.    with that anger directed at himself    &    at the world in general,    he recklessly starts to fight anyone he sees while in the batsuit.    even petty criminals would be beaten within an inch of their lives,    he’d make mistakes that he never did before,    &    come home with horrible injuries.    he had no sense of self-preservation,    all he cared about was his anger    &    guilt.    notice how throwing caution to the wind puts bruce in considerably more danger,    thus this supports my point that bruce struggles with his emotions,    but learned to suppress them for the sake of helping    &    saving people.

it actually surprises me when people don’t seem to realize that bruce is empathetic almost to a fault.    he holds onto hope,    &    he always had,    even if it’s foolish to do so.    hope that someone is still alive,    hope that someone still had good in them,    hope in his own abilities.    there was once a case where the entire bat-family understood immediately that a boy had killed his own parents,    but bruce clung to the hope that maybe it wasn’t him,    maybe it was some other greedy politician or hired gun.    bruce knew he was wrong    &    that he was chasing essentially no one,    but the sheer hope that the boy was innocent kept him going in circles.    i wholeheartedly believe that bruce is an empath,    someone who is incredibly sensitive to another’s emotions,    with how quickly he understands how almost everyone feels.    there are times where bruce will show compassion before he shows anything else.    yes,    he aims to scare people with his dramatic antics:

❝   gotham city is hell.    we are all in hell.    &    i am the king of hell !   ❞                                                                                                      -- batman: legends of the dark knight #6

but the purpose of his promise was to make sure nothing like what happened to him ever happens to someone else again.    i’ve said this before,    &    i’ll say it again:    BATMAN IS A GLORIFIED BABYSITTER.    really,    scarecrow said this    &    i stole it from him,    but he wants to care for his city.    that’s why he funds all these free health clinics throughout gotham,    it’s why he opened new soup kitchens    &    funded existing ones.    he revolutionized gotham’s orphanage system,    he forced wayne enterprises to make new jobs,    he single-handedly dropped gotham’s unemployment rate by a substantial amount.    he hands money    &    opportunities to struggling families,    he sits with them    &    helps them through their pain.    he does all of this against his playboy persona,    i remember how most of gotham was confused when he was starting his charity projects since he was immediately said to be ignorant or even uncaring towards gotham’s poverty    &    crime issues.    he started the ‘rebuild gotham’ project(s),    he funded arkham.    he’s in active member of the gotham’s    &    new jersey’s political scene,    influencing massive changes.    his infamous ‘no killing’ rule can be attributed to the fact that bruce doesn’t know what led someone to doing the horrible thing that he’s chasing them for;    HE TRIES TO SEE THE GOOD IN EVERYONE.    i know that comes as a surprise,    mostly because bruce openly despised superman    (    despite clark being one of the kindest people anyone has ever met    )    in that batman v superman movie,    but this blog has never taken any inspiration from those films,    so we’re going to ignore that    &    i ask you to do the same when you’re referencing my portrayal.

bruce would never go to such lengths to bring gotham back from its dark days if it wasn’t for how much he cared for its people.    &    he wouldn’t care at all if he seemingly felt no emotions.    yes,    a part of him doesn’t know how he’d deal with his trauma if he hadn’t passionately pursued something like this,    but that doesn’t take away from the fact that bruce is a fundamentally compassionate man.    the way he takes care of the victims in each case,    personally comforting them    (    hugging, etc.   ),    accommodating them in any way he can.    there’s times where he gets so angry after seeing certain victims,    that he finds it hard to control himself even after decades of training his willpower;    THAT’S how vehement his emotions are.

seeing the good in everyone    &    personally feeling everyone’s pain are both very emotionally taxing traits,    &    he doesn’t suppress these qualities.    he allows himself to feel guilt    &    practice empathy because it keeps him going when all he wants to do is collapse.    bruce has never denied feeling emotions,    he never does it to intimidate his allies,    he just has a harsh way of looking at things because,    again,    he removes his own feelings from the mix.    most other superheroes,    like in the justice league,    sometimes marvel at how bruce almost never gives into his anger during important decisions.    i keep repeating my main points    &    this is all quite the speel,    but it’s INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT that you understand that bruce has never not felt his emotions just as strongly as everyone else,    if not stronger.    to end this off,    let’s see what bruce said in response to ra’s al ghul’s earlier question    (   this is something i find that summarizes what i’ve said in this meta really well    ):

❝   plenty of them !    but it won’t do me any good for me to allow my emotions to gain control…    not while there’s a job ahead !    for years,    i’ve trained myself to concentrate on the thing at hand–    later,    i’ll cry…    if i must !   ❞                                                                                                                                 -- batman (1940) #232

&    because i know how hard tumblr’s tiny font is to read,    here’s a link to this same meta, but on google docs !   read whichever version you want !

[expectyaytions]

Something Just Like This (part I)

🍂Fall 🍂

Veronica was in grey leggings, and black tank top as she hauled boxes from the sidewalk into the elevator. Her top knot was drooping and she was sweating. Betty, Jughead, Fangs and Toni were all supposed to be here to help and yet none of were there yet. Sweet Pea was moving in with her. She needed a roommate since things with her and Archie went south. She wasn’t opposed to a stranger, but she preferred someone she knew. Sweet Pea was around often enough, she’d even maybe consider him a friend. It was their first year out of college. Veronica worked at Vogue - in their styling department. She enjoyed it. She’d gotten the job straight out of FIT in May. Sweet Pea had gone to NYU on a basketball scholarship. He majored in communications and was currently working at a motorcycle shop in Brooklyn and coaching high school basketball.

Veronica was interested to see how’d they’d fit as roommates. She knew NY was pricey so she hadn’t been 100% honest about the rent money with Sweet Pea. Her parents were technically paying for the apartment so she was only charging him ¼ of the rent instead of half, but she wasn’t about to tell him that, even if he may have assumed.

She was unloading boxes from the elevator into the 10th floor hallway when Fangs opened up the stairwell door out of breath.

“Finally! Nice of you show up!” She snapped wiping sweat off her forehead.

“Sorry! Sorry!”

“Just help me get these boxes in please. I don’t get why he wouldn’t just let me hire movers?”

“Like he’d ever ask for help when he could prove his manliness by carrying his own boxes.”

“I’m carrying the boxes! He’s making sure he doesn’t get towed!” Fangs laughed at her dramatics.

Two hours later, the three of them were sitting on Veronica and now Sweet Pea’s patio. They were sipping beers and reminiscing about high school.

“Where’s Andrews?” Fangs asked, “he left you to move Sweets here all by yourself?”

“Archie is in Chicago. He’s visiting his mom.”

“Oh. Boring. Anyway tell me more about Vogue.”

“Please no more fashion.” Sweet Pea interjected.

“I’ll tell you what. I’ll bring you by and show you around sometime when you free. Wait until you see the costume closet. You.will.die.” She fanned herself. “But in exchange I need your friendship story. Go.” She took a long sip of her beer.

“We go way back.” Sweet Pea started.

“Like pre-birth basically.” Fangs added. Veronica raised her eyebrows.

“Our moms were best friends. They grew up side by side and joined the serpents together. They ended up pregnant a few months apart.”

“I’m older by two months.” Fangs added tossing a grape into his mouth.

“We did everything together growing up. We had big wheels at the same time racing in the driveway! Legos! We played tee ball too. Our moms were inseparable, and our dad’s were unreliable so everywhere they went, we went with them.”

“That’s adorable!”

“They even put us in matching outfits.” Fangs drawled, “do you still have the picture of us in our snake pajamas?”

“Yeah, it’s in one of the boxes - I have the one with the four of us at the lake too.”

“I want a copy of each at some point.”

“I need to see these!”

“You should have seen Fangs when we started school and Toni started following us around. He used to step on her feet and push her and once he ignored for a full week. He stopped when she punched him in the stomach. The three of us have been friends ever since.”

“But we’re closer.” Fangs smiled, “right?”

“My ‘best’ keychain says yes.” Veronica cackled you guys have best friend keychains! That’s the cutest!”

Once the six pack was gone, they opened a bottle of wine. Betty texted and said they were on their way with pizza. Fangs assured her Sweet Pea was a good roommate. “He always cleans the sink after he shaves and he does his own dishes.”

“We have a dishwasher, so that won’t be a problem. We also have a cleaning lady she comes every Monday at 10am. She also does the laundry. So make sure everything is in the basket in your room or the bathroom.”

“Dude! You’re living the high life now.”

“I’m not sure I can afford a cleaning lady.” He admitted wearily.

“I’ve got it covered don’t worry.” He was about to add something when Betty and Jughead made their appearance.

“Finally! I thought you were going to leave us to starve to death!” Fangs jumped up to grab the pizza boxes. “And you brought more beer! Sweet!”

“Sorry we’re late. I had an interview.” Everyone went silent, and turned to look at the blonde.

“The interview?” Fangs tried to whisper to Sweet Pea. Betty nodded.

“And I got the job!” They all jumped up and group hugged her and Jughead.

“Betty! That’s fantastic. When do you start?” Veronica asked.

“Not until next week.”

“This calls for champagne! I’ll be right back!” Veronica hurried inside.

“Investigative reporting for The New York Times. It’s incredible B.” Veronica gushed over her friend.

“You’re glorifying it. I write book reviews, and upcoming book signings.”

“It’s still awesome, and it’s a foot in the door.” They were sitting on the patio, knees to their chests with oversized sweaters drinking wine and picking over fruit salad. The guys had gone inside to help Sweet Sweet Pea put his bed together.

“So where’s Archie?” Betty asked, “and don’t tell me Chicago.”

“He went to LA.”

“What!”

“I know. He didn’t want anyone to know.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“Well considering he and I were off and on and then basically just fucking; I really don’t care.”

“V-“

“Last time I saw he was being rode on by some chick with dreads and a peace sign tramp stamp - and not even the sign like the hand peace sign.” Betty was cackling.

“You’re joking?!”

“Nope.” She confirmed, popping the p. “Safe to say Archiekins and I are donezo.”

“Onward to new beginnings!” Betty cheered holding up her glass. “New jobs and new relationships!” Veronica clicked glasses and laughed.

-//-//-//-//-

Living with Sweet Pea was surprising easy. He was never home. They’d been living together for just over a month and she’d only seen him a handful of times. They were both usually home on Sunday afternoons or nights. Veronica would go to her sunrise yoga class and then pick up pastries and coffee at her fav bakery next door. Sweet Pea was usually still asleep when she got home. She’d work out a little in the living room -usually cardio. Depending on the weather -she’d drink her coffee and eat her breakfast outside. She would bring a book or magazines and relax until Betty, Jughead and Fangs came over they’d make sandwiches for lunch and catch up on their weeks. The crew would leave by late afternoon and she and Sweet Pea had started watching Boardwalk Empire. They were flying threw it. They’d order dinner out and watch for a few episodes. One night she fell asleep while they were watching and she woke up in her bed. She’d always been a bit of a heavy sleeper. She was a little embarrassed, but he never brought it up and neither did she. It was the start of them being more affectionate and loose around each other. She’d fake punch his arm and he’d wrap an arm her waist to move her if she was in the way. She’d also taken to propping her feet in his lap. Which he would whine about but then move then back to his lap. They were comfortable with one another.

-//-//-//-//-

Summer ended, and fall hit New York with a flurry of colors. Veronica managed to get Fangs a job at Vogue. It was primarily answering phones, But he loved it. She liked having someone in the office to eat lunch with and share gossip. He was also good for knowing things about Sweet Pea - like how he took his coffee or his preferred pastry, black and chocolate croissant. He knew that Sweet Pea had a sweet tooth and was a sucker for chocolate. This came in handy for Sundays. She’d pick him up coffee and a croissant they’d sit on the patio or at the kitchen bar. They’d read Betty’s Sunday selection for a review and decide whether they’d actually ready it or not. That was one thing that surprised her -Sweet Pea loved to read. Fangs during one of their coffee runs admitted he had a huge crush on one of the guys that worked with Veronica, and she’d been trying to set them up. She had invited Noah to last Sundays brunch and it seemed like they hit it off. Now she needed someone for herself.

“Have you tried tinder?” She asked Sweet Pea from his chair on the patio. He looked at her confused.

“Where is this coming from?”

“It’s a dating site, right?”

“No, Christian Mingle is a dating site, tinder is a hook-up app.”

“Oh.” She looked confused, “Fangs said I should try it.”

“Don’t listen to anything Fangs says. He watched Barney until he was like 10.” She raises eyebrows her but says nothing slumping her shoulders. “Look, I don’t know all the details with about what happened with Andrews, but you’re pretty, nice, funny and you shouldn’t have a hard time in the New York dating scene.

“It’s just so much effort.” She whined. He laughed at her.

“You got this. Just remember sock on door.” He tipped his coffee cup at her.

-//-//-//-

The following Sunday Sweet Pea found Veronica in a pair of short spandex and and a sports bra jumping around the living room.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“It’s cardio.”

“It’s something.” He joked. “Did you get coffee?”

“Yeah, it’s on the stove.” She heard him in the kitchen, but turned back to her work out.

Once she was finished, she joined Sweets outside. He handed her the around town and fashion sections of the newspaper while she propped her feet on his legs.

“So how was your first weekend on the prowl?”

“I’m not cut out for dating. I think I’ll buy a cat and become a spinster.” He laughed at her. “Don’t laugh.”

“It couldn’t have been that bad.”

“Some guy approached me at the bar. He was so full of himself, and was like molesting me. I had to get Fangs to come over to get this guys claws out of me. There was another guy he was sweet, but idk, sleazy and touchy feely. However Fangs was a little too eager to be a wingman and we went to a million bars.” Sweet Pea laughed.

“You know what they say, once you stop looking you’ll find someone.”

“People say that?”

“Yeah. All the time.”

“Well I’m done looking.”

“Give it a few more tries. What have you got to lose?”

“My time and dignity.” He rolled his eyes at her.

“Well maybe you should try tinder then. You wouldn’t have to go out. You could meet someone from the comfort our couch.”

“Sounds tempting. Maybe I’ll try it tonight while we watch Boardwalk.” She took a sip of her coffee. “Anyway, what does Betty have for us today?” She pinched a piece of her croissant off and put it in her mouth.

They ended up not watching Boardwalk, instead Fangs brought over the film, Love, Simon and they ended up all staying up late watching the film and reminiscing about high school. Jughead and Betty slept in the guest room and Fangs crashed in Sweet Pea’s room. They all had Monday off due to Columbus Day so they spent the morning binge watching the first season of Shameless. They were onto the fourth episode and awaiting the arrival of Chinese food, still dressed in their sweatpants and drinking bloody Mary’s and mimosas courtesy of Betty and Veronica. They had filled the floor with blankets and pillows and were enjoying the ridiculousness of the show.

Jughead kept exclaiming -“ how have we not seen this before?!”

And someone would give in and say “I know!” When the doorbell rang -Jughead took off running singing about his hunger pains.

“Your grocery bill must be through the roof.” Fangs commented.

“You have no idea. Thankfully he eats a lot of cereal. Mostly because he can’t cook anything besides pasta.”

They heard the door shut and expected to see Jughead carrying bags of Chinese. Instead a certain ginger ex boyfriend of Veronica’s was standing next to him.

[lorenzo-insigne]

Anche D10S Ama Napoli

Source: The Players’ Tribune (read in italian; read in english)

Before I begin this story, I have to start by apologizing to God.

And by “God,” I mean “D10S” … Mr. Maradona.

I also want to apologize to my father.

Because when I was eight years old, I committed a sin. Maybe it’s not a sin to most people, but when you grow up in Napoli, especially when I was a kid, it was definitely a sin. I had just started playing for the football school in my area, and I really wanted some proper boots. I didn’t have any, because I wasn’t even supposed to be playing for the football school yet. I was too young, and definitely too small. 

I was a shorty! 

But I didn’t care. I wanted to play football at all costs. So one day I showed up to the football school with my older brother, and I was just supposed to be watching him. But I had other plans. I forced my way onto the field by crying all day until they let me play. Man, it was dramatic. I threw myself to the ground and acted like I was dying. And finally one of the coaches said, “O.K.! O.K.! Let the little kid in for a minute.” 

I think they just wanted to shut me up, but I guess I showed I could play, because they let me in the school with all the older kids. I was so happy, but now I needed some real football boots. Every day, I begged my father to buy me a pair, but there were two problems. 

First, my family came from very humble means. Frattamaggiore, the neighborhood where I grew up, was very difficult. At that time, there was nothing. There weren’t many jobs, and my family did not have much money to keep us going, so it was almost impossible to buy some expensive boots.

Second, I wanted a very specific pair of boots. I wanted the R9s. The boots of the genius, Ronaldo. Do you remember those? Silver, blue and yellow. They were iconic. Ronaldo had just played in the ’98 World Cup in those boots, and it was all I would talk about.

“Papa, please, please, please get me the Ronaldo boots.”

Every day. Every day.

“Please, papa, the boots!”

Thinking back on it, he probably wanted to kill me, because the only player my father ever wanted to talk about was Maradona. I grew up with only the myth of El Diego and his greatness, and of course he is a legend all over the world … 

But in Napoli? 

In Napoli?

He is like a God. My father wanted me to get some plain black boots like Maradona wore, you know? But I said, “No, you don’t understand. Ronaldo is the greatest.”

Haha! I’m sorry, Papa! I’m sorry, El Diego!

My father was a huge Napoli supporter, and of course Ronaldo played for Inter at that time, and he was making Napoli cry. But I was just a kid. I didn’t know any better, and I was obsessed with these boots. So one night, completely by surprise, my father said to me, “Come on, we’re going to the shops.”

I asked why.

He said, “We’re going to get you your boots.” 

My father definitely did not have the extra money to spend. But, somehow, he did it for me anyway, and I cannot express to you the feeling of walking the streets with him that night and searching all the sports shops in the city for those boots.

The first shop didn’t have them.

The second shop didn’t have them.

The third shop had them, but not in my size.

We walked all over town.

We went to four or five shops, with no luck. I remember it was getting dark, and I was thinking maybe it was hopeless. Finally, just as all the shops were closing for the night, the last store we went into had the R9 boots, and they had them in my size.

I know for sure — for sure — that there is one memory that will stay with me for my whole life, and it’s my father handing over the money for those boots and giving the box to me. It’s better than any gift I’ve ever received. You know, it’s funny, because as a professional footballer now, I receive so many boots for free, and after a while it loses all meaning. It doesn’t really feel like anything special.

But those boots … wow. It was an indescribable feeling putting them on, because in my mind, it was like, O.K., maybe I am small, and maybe I am from humble means, and maybe I am not even very good yet … but I am wearing these boots, and Ronaldo the genius wears these very same boots … and maybe, one day, I can become as good as him.

I am not joking — I used to clean those boots every single day. We would play on fields that were not so perfect. There was a lot of dirt and rocks, you know? So I would come home and scrub the boots with a rag, because I knew what my father had sacrificed to buy them. I wore them for so long that the shops stopped selling them, and the day that they finally broke and fell apart, I cried. I actually wept, because I cared about them so much. They were sacred to me.

Perhaps I am crazy, I don’t know. But I have always been this way, according to my family. My mother tells the story that when I was in preschool, she came to pick me up and all the kids were playing with some Lego construction blocks — building houses and castles and whatever kids do — and I was in the corner of the room kicking my feet and running around. She didn’t understand what I was doing, and then she got closer and saw that I had made a football out of some paper and I was playing by myself.

I was probably supposed to be doing my homework with that paper, but I had only one thought in my head: Football.

My dream, always, was to play in the Napoli shirt at the San Paolo. For me, there was no other dream. I didn’t play any other sports. I didn’t think about anything but football. But as I grew up and got tryouts with different youth teams — Inter, Torino, even Napoli — the scouts always told me the same thing. 

Well, actually they did not tell me. They told my father, and then he broke the news to me. And it was the same verdict every time. 

“We like him, but he’s a shorty.” 

In Italy, people are very honest like that. They all discarded me because of my height. After I was told this by Torino at 14, let’s just say that I didn’t want to play anymore. I told my family that it was useless. I was too short. Technique, strength, speed — you can just work harder and improve. But your height? What can you do? I’d wake up every morning hoping I’d grown overnight. But nothing. So I told my dad, “It’s impossible, I’m done.”

But then he said, “O.K., so what are you going to do if not football?” 

And I thought about it, and I said, “Shit, what am I gonna do?” 

So I kept playing with the local football school, and finally, Napoli came along and gave me another shot when I was 15 years old. There were so many kids at the tryout. So many. But for whatever reason, the scout saw something in me, and he chose me. When I got into the youth academy, it was just incredible because my family were always huge Napoli supporters, but we could not afford to go to many matches when I was a kid. So when I was in the youth system, I would always beg to be one of the ball boys just so I could go to the San Paolo and stand on the sidelines.

That feeling of being in the stadium, and feeling that energy as a Neapolitan … I can’t express it in words. I thought, Damn, if I can just play one match here in the Napoli shirt someday, I can die happy. 

It was funny, because when I got to play my first game with the senior team in 2010, we were playing away in Livorno. It was such a big deal for my family, obviously. Such an honor, to be a kid from Frattamaggiore, playing in the Napoli kit. And I remember after the match, we flew back home and my father picked me up at the airport, and on the drive back I said, “Is anyone from the neighborhood waiting for me?” 

And my father said, “Oh no, no, no. It’s very late. Everyone was very proud, but it’s so late and everyone went to bed.” 

I said, “Come on.” 

He said, “No, really, I’m sorry, but I don’t want you to be disappointed. There’s nobody waiting for you.” 

So, of course, we arrive at home and the whole entire neighborhood is waiting for me in the streets, and they’re singing and shooting off fireworks, and they’ve got a special cake for me and everything. It was unbelievable. Seeing my mother’s face was the best part, because she’s crazier about football than all of the boys. I’ll come home now and I’ll find her watching the replays of Napoli matches. She will be yelling at the television, and I’ll say, “Mom, what are you doing? It already happened!” 

Napoli is in our blood. And I owe everything to the club, because they stuck with me in hard times. After I made my debut in 2010, I spent two years on loan at Foggia and Pescara in the C and B leagues. 

At Foggia, I was under a manager who was a real character. Mr. Zdeněk Zeman. I knew that he was super intense, and demanded a lot from his players. But it was really funny because he was like someone from an old movie. He would make all the players come into his office and be weighed at this old metal scale every morning. But he would be smoking like a chimney in there. So you would open the door, and it was all white smoke. You could barely breathe. It felt like Milan. So one day I walked in and I said, “Mister, do you think maybe you could stop smoking when we come in?” 

He thought about it for a second. Then he took another puff, and he said, “… You can step out then.” 

I loved him. We had a great relationship. He really believed in me, and maybe it took a character like him to believe in someone like me. I scored 18 goals that season, and when Mr. Zeman got hired at Pescara the next season, Napoli let me follow him there. That was a very, very important moment. And it was a very, very important year, because I met my wife, Jenny, that year. 

If you know anything about southern Italy, it will not surprise you that I met Jenny through her cousin, who went to school with me in Frattamaggiore. Where I’m from, everybody knows everybody. Instantly, I wanted to be with her. The problem was that I was living 250 kilometers away in Pescara. 

I told her, “Come with me.” 

But again, if you know anything about southern Italy, then you already know what her parents said about that. They were not going to let her follow me. No, not a chance in the world. So I had a double motivation that season. I had to convince Napoli to bring me back, so I could live my dream of playing for the club, and also so that I could be with Jenny. 

That season, I wasn’t going to be stopped. I scored 19 goals, and after the season ended, I had a meeting with Mr. Mazzarri, the coach of Napoli. He said, “If you want a spot here, you’re going to have to conquer it yourself.” 

And I remember I said, “No problem. Ever since I grew up, no one gave me anything for free.” 

Really, nothing was going to stop me. I earned my spot. Early on that season, I scored my first goal at the San Paolo against Parma, and it was so special because we had just found out that my wife was pregnant with our first son. I grabbed the ball and put it under my shirt as a dedication to him, and I remember the crowd was singing my name. 

You cannot write about this feeling. It is something you can only experience in your heart. 

It has been six years now that I am wearing this shirt, and I still have that same emotion when I score a goal for Napoli. It means so much to me, because I am so proud to be from my city. You know, I hear some people speak bad about Napoli, and it’s very frustrating for me, because they don’t know the city. To me, it’s the best city in the world. And if you don’t believe me, just look at my teammates. Look at how many players have stayed here instead of moving to bigger clubs. Some have been here three or four seasons, and they don’t want to leave. Our captain, Marek Hamšík, the guy is Slovakian, and he’s been here for 11 years. I ask my teammates why they want to stay, and they say, “I love the city, I love the life here, I love the fans.” 

So maybe when people speak bad about Napoli, they need to wake up. Even God himself loved it here. And by God, of course I mean Mr. Maradona 🙂 

My only focus now is on winning the league title. It was extremely heartbreaking to miss out on the World Cup with Italy. There is nothing I can say that will express my disappointment. It still upsets me. But I have to close that chapter and focus on trying to win Napoli’s first scudetto in my lifetime. I want to do it for my city, my neighborhood, my friends, my family, my children. 

Every time I go out to play at San Paolo, I get goosebumps. Because I think about what it means for my family, and I think about everything my father sacrificed over the years to keep me going. I don’t know what he had to do to get that money for my boots, but I know it was a struggle. That sacrifice started the whole dream. And now I get to walk out on the pitch in my hometown, and I always get goosebumps because I think, “This is where the greatest player in the world played. This is where Maradona played.”

With all due respect to Ronaldo, now that I am older, and I know my history, I have to repent and say that Maradona is the greatest who ever lived.

Mr. Ronaldo, you had great boots. You were a genius. You were my inspiration. But I am a Neapolitan, and so I have to say that there is only one king, and his name is Diego.

Lorenzo Insigne

[douchebagbrainwaves]

THE OTHER HALF OF N THINGS

It didn't matter what type. Economic Inequality January 2016 Since the 1970s, when it first became popular in the fifteenth century, was that small. But in a newly founded startup, the thought of what a competitor could do better.1 White. Conveniently, as I explain later. Those are interesting questions. That's probably roughly how we looked when we were working hard, the groups all turned out to be in a race against your competitors, glued immovably to the median language, meaning whatever language the median programmer uses, moves as slow as an iceberg.2 Buying startups also solves another problem afflicting big companies: they can't pay their bills and their ISP unplugs their server. If you want to optimize is your chance of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.3

Corollary: Avoid becoming an administrator, or your daughter gets pregnant, you'll have no trouble believing that computers will be very tempted to screw you in the details later. Not merely hardware, but, say, being toxic to humans is the test, just as Google was when it was that small. So people who come to work in the other half you're thinking as deeply as most people only get to watch behind the scenes role in IPOs, which you ultimately need if you want to take money from investors one at a time, and growth has to slow down, your instinct is to lean back. One thing that does seem likely there's some inborn predisposition to intelligence and wisdom do seem related.4 I smelled a major rat. Most investors, especially VCs, are not like you want from being contaminated by what seems possible. When we started Artix, I was rarely bored. It is for all ambitious adults. Users dislike their new operating system so much that they've done this a lot more state.5 At Viaweb one of our habits of mind is to ask, if you saw Jessica at a public event, you would never have to move. I can answer that.

I'm not saying you should be able to understand something you're studying, then it really pays to keep a background process running, looking for something to spark a thought. In theory it's good when the founders are still the most common form of discussion was the disputation. Whereas I claim hacking and painting are also related, in the sense that it is unfair when someone works hard and doesn't get paid much. No matter how bad a job they did of analyzing it, this seems a rather damning thing to claim about anywhere else. Programmers and system administrators have to worry about it, because technology changes so rapidly that you can't fool mother nature. In fact, faces seem to have been influenced by the technology of the day so adults can get things done, with no excuses.6 Investors are often compared to sheep.7

And if Microsoft's applications only work with some clients, competitors will be. ___ How much would it cost to grow a user base. What have other people learned about design? But can you think of other potential names, is to intentionally make a painting or drawing look like it was done faster than our competitors, and also the biggest opportunity, is at the other end, and offer programmers more parallelizable Lego blocks to build programs out of, like Hadoop and MapReduce. But if you just follow your own inclinations.8 Promising new startups are often involved in disreputable things.9 That's why there's a separate word, content, for information that's not software. To be fair, Perl also retains this distinction, but deals with it in typical Perl fashion by letting you omit returns.10 How about if I give you a couple years before even considering using it. Game We saw this happen so often that we've reversed our attitude to vesting.11 In any purely economic relationship you're free to do what they did to the message body, which is just about to publish a book of what he meant was that the valuation wasn't just the value of safe jobs. Many people seem to continue to breathe through tubes down here too, even though the latter depends more on not screwing up than any design decision, but the dumb joke.

But being lucky is the critical ingredient. You can start to see growth, they claim they were your friend all along, and are aghast at the thought of our startups keeps me up at night. Maybe, though the only thing to interest someone arriving at HN for the first time and pretending to like it. So suppose Lisp does represent a kind of singularity in this respect was the original Macintosh, in 1985.12 Actually, I've noticed this too.13 After Mr. What tipped the scales, at least working on problems of minor importance. This will take some effort to teach you that.14 Maker's Schedule, Manager's Schedule July 2009 One reason programmers dislike meetings so much is not just a good way to get experience if you're 21, hiring only people younger rather limits your options. Viaweb ended up crushing all its competitors. A good example is the airline fare search program that ITA Software licenses to Orbitz.

And why is it hard to make their mark on the world. It's like seeing the other interpretation of an ambiguous picture. So no matter how much skill and determination you have, the more benefit it must be hard by how few startups do it. Only a handful actually do, but what investors are thinking. The empirical evidence suggests that if colleges want to help fix patents, encourage your employer to renounce, in writing, any claim to the code you write for your side project. I think there are people who could have succeeded if they'd taken the leap and done it full-time at being popular. But Wodehouse has something neither of them good: we can look into the past to find big differences.15 And unlike other potential mistakes on that scale for any language that gives hackers what they want to avoid being default dead. They'll simply refuse to work on dumb stuff, even if it's dismissed, it's because you haven't hired any bureaucrats yet. For example, willfulness clearly has two subcomponents, stubbornness and energy.

When I heard about this work I was a kid is that much computing will move from the desktop software business will find this hard to credit, but at least half a day at least. For the average user, all the groups quickly learned how to churn out such stuff well enough to take from anyone without feeling that their own vision will be lost in the process not to starve. Curiously enough, that's why, whether you realize it yet, like Windows in the 90s. That's just a theory.16 The answer, I realized it wasn't luck. Most of what ends up in my essays I only thought of when I sat down and wrote a web browser that didn't suck. This has traditionally been a problem in venture funding.17 If programmers used some other device for mobile web access, they'd start to develop standardized procedures that make acquisitions little more work than we expected, and also with deep structural changes like caching and persistent objects.18 Symbols are effectively pointers to strings stored in a hash table.

Notes

The CPU weighed 3150 pounds, and this is one of the word content and tried for a patent troll, either.

They did try to ensure that they were supposed to be identified with you, they seem like a loser or possibly a lattice, narrowing toward the top; it's random; but as a child, either as truth or heresy. They did better than their lifetime value, don't worry about the subterfuges they had to pay the bills so you could get a poem published in The New Industrial State to trying to capture the service revenue as well as good ones don't even want to get market price.

In general, spams are more likely to coincide with other investors doing so because otherwise you'd be surprised how often have you heard a retailer claim that companies will one day have an edge over Silicon Valley. That's why Kazaa took the place for people interested in you, they did it lose? Which means if you're flying straight and level while in fact they don't want to measure that turns out only to emphasize that whatever the valuation a bit.

Which is fundraising. Programming in Common Lisp for, believe it or not. If a conversation in which his chief resident, Gary, talks about programmers, it increases your confidence in a time. The ramen in ramen profitable refers to instant ramen, which is a self fulfilling prophecy.

See particularly the mail by Anton van Straaten on semantic compression. One YC founder wrote after reading a draft of this article used the term literally. A lot of people are these days. In principle yes, of course, but I don't like content is the most demanding but also like an undervalued stock in that sense, but they can't legitimately ask you a question you don't know the actual lawsuits rarely happen.

One of the world barely affects me. One measure of that investment; in biotech things are different. It would be more precise, and when given the Earldom of Rutland.

There are aspects of the next downtick it will seem like noise. I do, I'll have people nagging me for features. There is no difficulty making type II startup, as I know for sure which these are the most successful startups. Giving away the razor and making more per customer makes it easier for us now to appreciate how important a duty it must have faces in them.

This flattering distinction seems so natural to expand into new markets. I'm not saying you should be your compass. I think you should prevent your investors from helping you to agree. What you learn in college.

But the money. At three months we can't figure out what the editors will have to do that. Maybe it would take forever to raise more money. Steven Hauser.

That's the difference between us and the fucking fleas. Rice and beans are a hundred years ago it would have become good friends. They bear no blame for opinions not expressed in it. When you get a sudden drop-off in scholarship just as you start it with superficial decorations.

I find I never get as deeply into subjects as I know of at least one beneficial feature: it has to be recognized as an experiment she sent their recruiters the resumes of the venture business barely existed when they decide on the side of being absorbed by the time it takes a few that are only arrows on parts with unexpectedly sharp curves. 25. 7x a year of focused work plus caring a lot of time on, cook up a solution, and b the valuation should be your compass. If you're doing is almost always bullshit.

We fixed both problems immediately. And I've never heard of many startups from Philadelphia.

If you invest in your startup with a toothbrush. Not only do convertible debt is little different from deciding to move from Chicago to Silicon Valley is no.

If Ron Conway, for example, the 2005 summer founders, like a ragged comb. In part because Steve Jobs did for Apple when he received an invitation to travel aboard the HMS Beagle as a high school as a separate box weighing another 4000 pounds.

Later you can imagine what it would destroy them.

Bill Yerazunis. 5% of Apple now January 2016 would be too conspicuous.

When governments decide how to do it in action, go ahead.

And that is a fine sentence, but for the firm in the narrowest sense.

Thanks to Shel Kaphan, Joe Gebbia, and Emmett Shear for putting up with me.

[name-me-regret]

Us, The Martians 2/?

Us, The Martians Chapter One

Read on AO3.

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

“So can you tell me what you've got inside? Well is it all those fears that you hide? 'Cause it's all messed up now in my mind

Tell me how you think you'd find Your uninhabited piece of mind

You always gotta pray for the pessimist And these days seem the strangest existence Now make way and obey all the best of us Before they just eat you alive...”

~Eat You Alive - Sum 41

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

Peter sighed as he yanked his mask off, not sure if it had been a good day or not. He’d managed to stop several mugging, and even some guy robbing a liquor store. There had been no deaths and the only injuries that had happened was him when he’d gotten hit with a pipe by one of the muggers having a partner and hadn’t been fast enough to avoid the hit to his shoulder. However, it was the reaction of people. There had been open hostility from more people than usual, and someone had even threatened him with a crowbar. It hadn’t even been the criminals he’d been trying to stop.

He knew that not everyone liked vigilantes, and he had no qualms about that. Spider-Man was a vigilante and there were some that hated him because they thought he was getting involved in things he had no business in. There was the police force that wore the uniform and whose face you could see when they helped you. Spider-Man was a person (a kid but not that they knew about that) in a mask that came out of nowhere. Both of them saved you, but Peter guessed he could understand why they didn’t trust a faceless person.

It wasn’t to say that he wanted to reveal his identity to the world as Tony Stark had done on national television. Because there was a difference between Peter Parker and Tony Stark, which is that Peter was just fourteen. He wouldn’t be able to stand the pressure of people finding out that he is Spider-Man. Also, he is completely and utterly without a doubt certain that his aunt would stop him; and possibly kill Mr. Stark even if the man had no idea he was Spider-Man. She would put an end to the days of risking his life after school, of swinging through the air with nothing but a strand of reinforced spiderweb in his hand. He’d never again experience the feeling of free-falling through the air, and he would also not be able to save people that needed him.

For Peter, it didn’t matter if he was despised and probably threatened to be arrested by the police, because he knew that there were people that needed help. There were people that needed a Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man to save them, even if it’s in a small way like stopping a purse snatcher, or getting their pet out of a tree. He wasn’t saving the world like the Avengers, but in that moment he stopped someone from being mugged, he was saving that one person’s world. While he wished he could do more, he knew in his heart that he was right where he needed to be.

And he would continue to do this even as people sneered and yelled at him to go away, and that reporter from the Daily Bugle slandered him every chance he got. None of that mattered, except that relieved smile of the person he had helped, and the wholehearted thanks.

The destruction in Lagos by the Avengers had made things more difficult for a small time vigilantes like him, and probably others like Dare Devil in Hell’s Kitchen, Iron Fist and Jessica Jones. Peter knew that people were scared that another incident like that would happen, like in Washington D.C., and thus he couldn’t blame them for their hostility. Even then, it didn’t mean their distrust hurt any less. After all, he had been doing this superhero gig for almost nine months, and he would have thought people would have realized that he just wanted to help. He didn’t care if they called him a hero or not, but he didn’t want them to call him the names some had that day.

A menace, a criminal, and worst of all, a freak. Peter hated that word, because he saw his powers now as a blessing, a way to help people. He hated it because he would admit to calling himself that when he’d first realized the things he could do, that inner part of himself that held all his self-loathing and his guilt over thinking he’d let his uncle die. That it was his fault. That part had call himself a freak for these powers.

As he pushed the button to deactivate the suit, he pulled it off and stored it in it’s case. He was always awed by the suit, having to just look at it and how freaking amazing it was and that it was his. Now, he just closed the case and put it away in his closet so May wouldn’t find it. He put some boxes of his LEGOs on top of it so she wouldn’t ask about it.

He grabbed a change of clothes and went to take a shower and washed the sweat of the day away, then prepare himself something from either a can or a box. His aunt wouldn’t be back until late and he had homework to do, or else he’d still have been out patrolling.

It’s an excuse though, because he’s smart enough to finish it quickly and without too much difficulty. He just couldn’t keep going as he was yelled at with such hatred and hostility.

Maybe things would be better tomorrow.

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

Tony groaned as he threw down the paper, the New York Times this time and the scathing article that they’d written on the events in Nigeria. The world and especially the press at large (local, nationwide, and world wide) had not been merciful to the Avengers. Tony had been on the receiving end of bad press before, but this was worse than that. People were literally asking for Rogers, Romanov, Wilson and Maximoff’s immediate arrest. There were people that literally had signs that read ‘Burn The Witch’, or demanding for Wanda’s head.

FRIDAY indicated that there was call from another reporter, but he didn’t have time. He was up to his eyes trying to put out the metaphorical fires the others had caused in Lagos, telling them to lie low for the moment. So, he told her to take a message, and tell them he had no comment for any reporters calling asking about Lagos.

The RP team he’d hired for the Avengers was preparing a statement for the press conference that had been called. They needed to get ahead of this before things got any worse, and Tony was worried that things were already there. It was only because he had the President’s ear and trust that the military hadn’t already come to their front door.

He guessed that being detrimental in saving him and his cabinet from death three years ago was paying off. Of course he hadn’t done it for that at the time, but he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Especially when he, and by extension the Avengers, needed all the support they could get.

Tony had told Vision to try and keep Wanda at the compound for now, while he sorted out the trouble with her stay in the country. The Lagos incident had come at the worst of times, since she was still waiting for her visa to come through and shouldn’t have even been out of the country. Tony hadn’t wanted any of them to go, and knew he should have tried harder to stop Steve from going.

Now it was far too late for regrets.

He picked up the next newspaper, the Daily Bugle and cursed as he saw the slander masquerading as a news article about Spider-Man. That damn J. J. Jameson. He didn’t know what the man had against the young man, but he wasn’t pulling any punches, and some of them were dirty sucker punches.

“Fuck,” he growled, throwing down the newspaper after balling it up. “FRI, call Spider-Man.”

“Connecting to Spider baby’s phone,” the Irish voice intoned. His baby girl had come a long way from when he had activated her after Ultron had killed JARVIS, and then he’d used what remained of his code to make Vision. She had learned while in battle, and while not an ideal situation for her to have been activated, she had done beautifully. FRIDAY still spoke like an A.I. and if it had been then, she wouldn’t have used Tony’s nickname for Spidey. He was so proud of her growth.

“Hello?” the man’s filtered voice came through, so that meant he was either in his suit or had put on the mask to answer the call. Spidey was another one he was proud of, since he had somehow managed to turn his own A.I. against him, and she actively prevented him and FRIDAY from tracking the young man. At least, when he was at home, and since he couldn’t get a hit on his location, it meant he was there now.

“Hey, kid,” he said, kicking the balled up newspaper that had missed the trash can and hit the floor. “How’re you holding up? I saw the... sorry excuse for an article Jameson wrote.”

He heard Spidey sigh and knew the other had also seen it. Of course he had. “Yeah.”

“You know none of it is true, right?”

Tony heard shuffling on his end and wondered if he was getting ready for bed. It was late after all. He probably had school soon, knowing that midterms were coming soon, and from his own college days, Tony knew they were hell.

“Well, some of it is,” he hedged, sounding so lost that it made Tony’s heart clench in his chest.

“None of it,” he said firmly. “You’re a hero, a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, and nothing that... man says is true.” He knew he was in college, was likely in his twenties, but it somehow it felt wrong to curse in front of him, or where he could hear. Tony felt such... parental feelings toward him and Peter, that it was ridiculous. He was no one’s father, but he just couldn’t help it.

“You keep doing what you’re doing, and don’t let what he says get to you,” he told him. “You’re doing amazing... heh, the Amazing Spider-Man. It has a nice right to it, don’t you think?”

He heard the kid giggle and Tony felt his chest swell with the same feeling as when he managed to make Peter laugh. “Yeah, Mr. Stark,” he agreed.

Tony ran a hand through his hair. “Just... be careful out there, kid. Things are happening that... worry me. I don’t want you to get involved in something dangerous.” He set FRI to start saving and closing his windows, since he was too stressed to get anything else done tonight.

“I’ll be careful, Mr. Stark,” he reassured.

“Would it kill you to call me Tony?” he groused.

“Have a good night, Mr. Stark,” he emphasized cheekily.

“Such sass,” Tony grumbled. “Good night, brat.”

He waited till he heard the click of the call ending to sigh. “FRI, just... keep an eye on him when he’s out there.” He didn’t want anything to happen to the kid, still so young and idealistic. Tony wanted Spidey to maintain that... innocence for as long as possible. He wanted to keep him away from the Accords, or more specifically, from signing them, since he knew the Accords panel would insist on him unmasking.

Tony knew he had his reasons for not wanting to reveal his face and wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible. He wouldn’t reveal his identity to even Tony and he’d be damned if he let someone else strong-arm him into doing it before he was ready, if he ever was.

He decided to try to get some sleep, but he doubted he’d fine able to actually rest.

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

Harley looked around at the room that Tony had given him almost a month ago, so very different than what he was use to. The walls had Star Wars posters and once more he resisted the urge to rip them down, since despite his ignorance on his preferences, Tony had tried. He’d definitely take them down at one point soon though, just not rip them. His mama had taught him better than to destroy something that had been given to him without having earned it. And boy had Tony really outdone himself.

There was a brand new laptop on the desk, which had a comfortable looking chair and a those state of the art lamps you tapped to turn on and off. There was also a ginormous bed that was way too big for him, but not that he was complaining. His old mattress had been a twin and it had been lumpy for the longest time. They just didn’t have the money to buy on new one, and hadn’t begrudged his mother having spent money they didn’t have to buy one for Abbie, since she couldn’t fit in her tiny bed anymore.

The walls were white but Tony had said that he could paint them, but he didn’t really care either way. When he felt more at ease in their situation, he’d ask for the means to get some Star Trek posters, and not Star Wars. The room itself was also about twice as big as the one at home, probably three times bigger. He really liked the shelves that had textbooks of mechanical engineering on them, and couldn’t wait to read them. Maybe later though.

At the moment, he was really tired. They’d packed quickly, taking only what they could carry, and Tony had reassured his mama that the rest of their stuff would either be put in storage or tossed out. Honestly, if they weren’t planning on returning, it was likely best that everything be thrown away. Or burned in the case of his old ass bed.

The furniture had all been bought second hand at a flea market and their neighbor, Fred had let them use his pick-up truck to haul it home. Their old (not that the ones they bought had been new or anything) furniture had been falling apart, and with money being tight they had to make due. They weren’t super poor or anything, but with only their mom’s job at the diner, money was tight, even when she tended to do double shifts with little sleep in between. Harley wished he was a little older so he could also get a job, but she always insisted that he needed to study, get good grades so he could go to college and get out of that small town.

Harley had been sure that even with getting good grades, he wouldn’t have gone to college. After all, colleges cost money and they barely made it without having to worry about paying for him to do more schooling. He’d planned on getting a job as a mechanic as soon as he could and then one day maybe buy out Mr. Diaz. The man had no children and he was getting old, and while not the best plan, it had been one. The only one he could think of in his thirteen years of knowledge.

Now here they were, in New York and his mom had been given a position as assistant to Pepper Potts’ PA. While it mostly consisted of making coffee, placing food orders, making copies and taking documents to certain floors, it still paid better than when she was working double shifts at the diner. Abby was going to a middle school with a good dance program, and he would start at a brain school in the Fall, and Tony had insisted he pay for tuition for both. With his attending this school, he’d have a real shot at a good school; maybe even MIT.

He threw himself on the bed with a sigh, hair still damp from the shower he’d taken and closed his eyes. Tomorrow he was going to meet Tony’s intern, who was supposedly his age. He was also going to go to the same school as him, and would have met him sooner, but he still had school for about another month when he’d gotten to New York. Harley hadn’t known how different schools were depending on which state you were in. Down south schools usually started at the beginning of August, but in the North, they apparently started at the beginning of September. And since term had ended for Harley, that meant that he would have an extra month of summer vacation.

“This is going to be the best summer ever,” he mumbled, and moments later he was drifting off.

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

John was unable to stop a whimper of pain as he was dropped onto the bed that might as well have been the floor with how hard it was, his eyesight obscured with tears and sweat, and what might have been blood. He wasn’t sure. John wasn’t sure about a lot of things, like where he was, what was going to happen to him, or how long he’d been there. They didn’t tell him anything, only dragged him out of his cell at least once a day to poke and prob at him.

They usually didn’t harm him besides stabbing him with needles every day, but today he had tried to escape. It hadn’t ended well for him, since the soldier had beaten him until he’d lost consciousness which really didn’t take much if he was honest. While he resented his parents for having turned their backs on him, they had been good parents as he had been growing up and had never struck him. John could be a bit hot-headed, but he was well liked and had never gotten in too many fights. He wasn’t use to being hit. So, it had only taken two good hits until he was down.

He could feel blood in his mouth and tried to spit it out, but it only dribbled down his mouth and over his chin. “Fuck,” he grumbled, wiping at the blood with the back of his hand. He wasn’t sure how much he could take, or even how long they’d keep him alive. John needed to get out, but perhaps thinking of a better plan other than trying to jump the guard was a start.

John had been sure he had a bit of a chance since it was a single guard, and the guy was several inches shorter than him. However, he should have known that being there and left alone meant he was clearly highly trained, and that was proven when he reacted quickly and efficiently when John tried to knock the gun out of his hand.

He’d been on the floor in mere seconds.

John wasn’t even aware of how he’d done it, but knew that he couldn’t try it again. He was already going through enough with the doctors that stuck him with needles every day, so he wanted to avoid losing anymore blood. The sixteen year old was just getting restless, since he wanted to get out of here. John may not have a home anymore, but he knew that he could still have some semblance of a life. He just needed to get out of here with that life in order for that to happen.

“Mr. Allerdyce,” he heard as the door of his cell was opened. John looked up from the bed to see the old man, whom he now recognized. He hadn’t before since he hadn’t really kept up with politics of anything, but he’d heard one of the scientist call the old guy Thaddeus Ross. He’d recognized the name then; he was the fucking Secretary of State. That meant that he had no chance of being able to live a normal life if he managed to escape. That meant that he would have to leave the country, but he didn’t know where or how he would be able to leave. He had no job skills, not even a high school diploma, and no money. John was starting to think that he wouldn’t be getting out of here, ever.

He sat up as best as he could, but he felt dizzy from the hit to the head when he’d fallen after the soldier had laid him out. “What do you want?” he asked, trying not to aggravate where they’d taken blood and pumped him with something that might have been a mild sedative. It had worn off quickly, which is why he’d felt confident that he could go through with his crazy plan.

“To discuss your test results,” he said as he stepped aside as one of the mercenaries accompanying him could set down a folding chair that he sat in. Although, now that he knew who he was, he had a sinking feeling that the ones that had attacked him weren’t mercenaries at all. They were perhaps real soldiers, the ones that were meant to protect them, not kidnap kids like him off the street. “My scientists have had a fun time studying your DNA.”

John frowned, not quite understanding. He hadn’t been the best at biology or anything having to do with science. His best subjects had mostly been reading, world history and social studies. “What about it?” he asked, not wanting to look too dumb in front of this man. He might decide that he wasn’t worth keeping alive, or that it would be better to keep him permanently sedated. Then he’d never have any chance of escape, or even survival.

“Well, in simple terms, there’s something different in your genes. You have an X and Y chromosome, all males do. Only, there’s something different in your X chromosome, a mutation you could say.” He waved in the vague direction of his hands. “That’s how you can do what you do with your hands... control fire. Very impressive, actually. I saw the video from my soldier’s body cams.”

“So, what does that mean exactly?”

“It means that any children you might make have the possibility to have this mutation in their genes.” He clapped and stood. “However, to determine that with any certainty, we need to run more tests.”

John cringed away, since he was tired of being poked with needles. He just wanted to go home, even if his parents didn’t want him there anymore. The teenager missed his bed and he could even admit missing going to school and doing homework. He just wanted to be free of this place.

“Oh don’t worry, we’ve learned all we can from you. We’re ready to move on.”

John was confused. “What? Move on?” He felt terror at thinking they might kill him now, or something worse.

Ross turned to him. “Yes, to your father to see if he has the mutation, and from there, others like you.” The same soldier came forward to take the chair, and John wondered if he could get the weapon away from him. Then he realized that he didn’t know how to even fire a weapon. There was likely a safety switch, and he had no idea if it was on or how to take it off.

So, in the end he did nothing. As he was left alone, he curled up as if he could hide away from everything that was happening to him, but he knew that there would be no escape.-

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

[top1course]

7 Steps To Building A Million-Dollar Business – Systemize Your Business Ep. 3

These other 70 areas, you need to master in order to have a successful business, i’ll buy tickets sales world’s highest paid consultant, media celebrity, multi-millionaire entrepreneur, acclaim tedx speaker, international best-selling author Dan Lok, is what I call a traction, what is it called, it means attracting client attracting customers, what do you do not know that I didn’t say Chase, customers, i didn’t say cold call customers right yes, some kind of system a marketing system, attracts, ideal yard your clients, attraction, and if as a business as a business entrepreneur, i always say if you don’t have a predictable consistent way of attracting client you don’t have a business yet, expensive Hobby, if you don’t have a way that you can buy, customers, you know exactly your acquisition cost per customer you don’t have a way to do that, jonathan Stephen Hawking, because you would like, you were lying on the phone hopefully in my ring, Anybody bring to this month in my ring 6 months, that’s not a business business, attention to those customers but what’s the point if you can’t, so keeping those customers, retaining those customers, client retention, second step, decline optimization meaning of maximizing optimizing, customer that comes into your door, a customer comes in typically they spend, $1,000 worth, a year, and if you can optimize the valley and its spending $1,000 in spending 15, optimizing the value of the client, only 3 ways to grow a business, how many ways, increase a number, increased a number customer service, increase the frequency of each purchase, increase the transaction size, that’s it the only Speedway so it’s not that complex, increase the number of clients, increase the frequency, increasing transaction size, increase the frequency of date from you two times a year can you do that can they do three times, LED Photon to you, memphis 1500 can you spend $2, and then it system isolation and that’s what we can talk about today, i mean I’ve always talked about traction with engine optimization, not noticed I didn’t put, customisation, the first step is the fourth step why is that, why is that, is a, you need something to systemize, and the last thing you want is your sister my sister, stuff that doesn’t work, could you have a system, it’s actually doesn’t work, yeah we could we could you doing this I don’t know that’s your systemizer, what system is designed to do, is designer create a predictable result, so if your results, your system Isaac we going to get, yeah you can get louder result predictable, that’s all you want, then you can delegate, that’s when you’re building a team, getting out of bed technician role, and say you know I’m going to be a team, Now the challenge it is if you try to delegate without system.

What’s going to happen, chaos, you lose a lot of money yes, what’s going to happen, inconsistent and that’s why I sometimes complain, they don’t care like I do, how come they don’t do things my way, how come they can think like me, what is the thing that they think like they’ve only will be working, lego space, so that doesn’t work, but if you don’t have a system for them to follow and you hire someone, get your depending on their personality to perform, let me say this, people, a very hard to manage, sotto Madison, manage your system, and have your people run the system, have them run the system, mcDonald’s, and say hey you know what, where’s the owner, she ain’t here, what do you mean, he is not here, Images of flipping the bird, no, at the cash register, no no, does not mopping the floor, no, where is she, i don’t know, why does a McDonald franchise cost in the Olympics, it’s a burger taste so good, mcDonald’s, good couple people what’s wrong with you, how many you can think of a place I can make a better hamburger McDonald’s, yes, so it’s not because aquatic is so Superior, but they do have a superior system, they can take, college kids high school kids, cool kids, retarded citizens, bill Boomers running a multimillion-dollar operation, cuz they systemizing, is that the Korean that’s like it’s a money machine that’s why cost too much money, most other franchises you’re buying a f****** job, advance Auto franchise someone money machine, have a friend of mine, not a sandwich franchise, another sandwich franchise, more like a healthy type, stop, and, Nnn struggling he’s in there working 5 6 days a week, long hours and doing coke and stuff and doing a he couldn’t get out, and he said, i said show me the financials and I’ll look at the financials he wants less than minimum wage, you’re making less than minimum wage, you’re working way longer hours you put in all this investment, you just bought yourself a job, and that’s a childish most businesses owners, they don’t have a business, if a job, you could say well I have control, i have been, hope you have a job, it’s not business, we have to look at that in the next look at it as it is, and say you know what how can you solve this, and then the next step is automation technology using tools, to automate your process, automated process I wanted you have that then you can expand, You can open up a second location, you can hire more people, in this so many duplicate I can do so many things, when do I know how to convert those late one to optimize the value of my client once I system, my business and automate using technology, no different when running out of business, we follow this, let me show you let me show you a clip I was in, google contacts, i was in Japan for a visit for 5 weeks and it just came back, august beginning of November, and this is a little vs a 3-minute video, that we can get some fun stuff, aR on the trip so, check it out, where is everybody, cuz it was so packed in Japan, and you walk like you don’t even like that right you don’t have to walk, cuz people will push you, what’s going on so many people like, Professional pusher.

I put you into the train, so I’d like to put you in and, so in Japan they have these, hot springs in Hot Springs, i like carrots, hot spring in your engine in a, male and female end with like a beautiful seem like you could be in front of the leg, and you have your own hot tub thing, so in Japan, when you go into hot spring, is actually there in polite if you were like swimming suits and Trunks and stuff like that, it’s all naked, iconica, so, i’m not used to that, right, so you know I showed up and and I’ll be 120 this hot spring, it’s a bunch of seniors right imagine, i’m like, i’m not very comfortable with this, but you do know something you do just not supposed to wear anything, so they have this like at all, About this size right, about this size, bear Lake, myself, and I don’t just like trying to lock you in, sitting in a hot tub in life, and then you see these, elderly people just walking around in front of me like that right, honda Sinatra Pleasant, that is not what I signed up for, it’s unbelievable my friends like cuz I went with my friends is first time we see each other naked, that’s a beautiful scene like when you go to swimming with friends, i can try to hide stuff, it’s really weird conversation without looking right, school, who is this, hey man that’s nice, the first 10 minutes you will always like, now this is, doctor comfortable, yeah I’m going to punch you, old people in naked and life is not so good, what is someone is very liberating liberating, future and then they went up to the top floor which is on a balcony, City in a hot spring alike, i’m just going to walk around like, doing my stuff right, n&M like, i’m going to do some yoga, sun salutation, and my friends likes, dude that’s way too much, that is in Fontana, best Buy store, that when I came back I sat down with my, i want to reduce a number as what’s happening with, spy companies in, the Revenant, the five weeks that I was away, total revenue, actually went up, when I was away, isn’t that interest, when I was away when I was not here, end of 5 weeks, when I was away because I was a vacation, are there some projects I wanted to complete, that wasn’t. Yes yes, because I wasn’t driving it does things that wasn’t wasn’t being done, and when I got home you know we work on those and I lost I’ve got done but, What’s up, the reason for that is because, which companies I have one, systems in, in place, so it’s less people dependent, amor system-dependent, and that’s a lesson there, the question you have to ask yourself do you have a job or give a business, can you walk away write this down, can you walk away from your business, for 5 weeks and come back and find a more profitable, tessa test, can you walk away from the business and come back and find it more possible to maintain the same rubbing, if you answered yes you means you have systems in place, if the answer is no it means you don’t have to, is a very very simple test, very very sad, you be watching my videos for some time now and you might be wondering, dan Howell, how could I be mentored by you, He’s what I want you to do my very first assignment.

To see if you qualify, i want you to go to Fu money.com to download a copy of my book he can’t even do that, i cannot be your mentor, the second step is all free download my book I want you to read it, and you also get invitation to register, papa what are my upcoming women are, i want you to register and show up for that women., doing the women I go to all the details of how you can possibly be Mentor if I mean, gold Air right now Fu money.com,

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[morethanmonotonous]

MMXVIII

I’m pretty hung over from AM PM last night, sitting in my little city apartment. Our friends just left and now I’m just recovering from the wonderful night and thought it was a good opportunity to reflect on the year that 2018 has been.

Our year started off watching the fireworks near Taronga Zoo which was so lovely. It was nice to do a New Years with just Ritchie, and relatively stress free.

The first few weeks were a whirlwind - we inspected a few appartments, expecting the whole process to take a bit of time, but fell in love with a place the first day of inspecting and got it approved on the day. This kicked off a chaotic period of going to unify, coming back and straight into our new home. It was so fun building a bed with Ritchie and dad so we had somewhere to sleep and come back to, while using camping chairs and boxes and makeshift furniture.

We got extremely well acquainted with IKEA - it was such a beautiful experience building my first ever home with the love of my life and being able to make it whatever we wanted. I love the little nest that we have built right in the middle of the city and wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Every night here is like a sleep over with my best friend, and it’s been that way for almost a whole year now. It’s fun being able to decide whether we ‘watch or play’ something every night. From building Lego, to playing video games, watching tv series, movies, doing puzzles to playing board games (even if i always lose in Machi Koro but win in Ticket to Ride).

I have so many fond memories in this home already - having mates over on the balcony for drinks and nangs and hangs has been one of the highlights for sure, and I know I’ll look back at this place and those times so fondly. But hopefully we will be able to renew the lease for a year because I love it here (and work literally next door), we are 5 minutes from everything you’d ever need, and I can do the most scenic and beautiful runs around the water.

Unify itself was a hell of a time. We road tripped down with Scott and brad (BAAO crew!) (my first ever time driving to Melbourne!) in our little convoy, stopping at IGA’s on the way for nangs and other little adventures. My memories of the few days are blurry and messy and to the soundtrack of hellions, dear Seattle, architects (where we literally almost died in that set), and old amity. Ritchie tried to sell Scott’s jacket, we met a one man band, Dregg, made lots of friends, explores around the campsite, and I made better friends with Steph while fucked up and on a hammock sandwiched between her and Sam Lovern. That festival really is a highlight of my year every year and I can’t believe we get to do it all again in 2 weeks.

Keira got married this year which is still a crazy thought - James is my brother in law and Keira isn’t a swarbrick any more. After too much stress in the lead up, and dad and Ritchie pretty much organising an entire wedding in the 12 hours leading up to it and 35 degree heat, it all worked out. We danced, drank, Ritchie fed all of the guests handfuls of ham from his platters, there were lanterns on heads, sick computer hacking, and lots of love.

I left Woolies this year too, which is crazy to think about when I consider how much has happened since that point. I still feel such a strong affinity to that place, and I love going back there now and catching up with the little family I built there. I really do miss certain aspects of it, I wouldn’t be too shocked if I did go back to retailer land eventually. But I’m in a big stage of career self discovery and I’m just trying to enjoy the ride and learn as much as I can. It’s been an extremely eventful year in my career, and I’m so proud of what I’ve achieved.

BAT was a weird job, and I don’t know how better to explain it. I look back and it was like a brief but chaotic cyclone of drinks (so many drinks), great people, awful people, arrogance, tough negotiating, oldschool businessmen, travel, long hours, and so many cigarettes. I achieved some key things I set out to do - try account management (and hate it), handle 1:1 commercial negotiations with buyers, travel interstate alone, attend business conferences and hold my own in the tough social situations, acquire a slight taste for red wine, and realise I’ll never be a real smoker - thank god. It did great things for my career, terrible things for my mental health, but I feel like I’m a better person as a result and I’m grateful for the experience.

I know this isn’t really chronological at this point but I’ve also started working at RB this year. I’ve been there about 3 months so far and I’m still really loving it. It’s strange finally getting a job at the company you’ve always wanted. It is / was scary in a way, I was hoping it would end up being everything I hoped it could be and so far it’s going well. I’m surrounded by such smart, young, motivated and driven people and it’s really pushing me to do more and be more. Doing a pure category role at a supplier is still an interesting concept, being objective and removed but also paid by a brand is strange, but I’m hoping by the next time in writing this next year, I’ll be a much stronger and more capable category expert than I am now. I really do hope and think that this place will give me that.

We got to see more of the world this year too. It’s so beautiful being with a partner with an inherent passion for travel too, it makes me so excited to think of all of the places we will see together that I don’t know would be possible without him by my side. It’s lovely having a perfect travel companion that I can feel like I can take on the world with.

We did tropical North Queensland for my birthday this year, which meant I could tick off some huge bucket list items. We snorkeled off the Great Barrier Reef - such a surreal experience and unlike what I imagined. We were in open ocean water, with free range fish and we even saw a sea turtle. It was such a beautiful moment and a memory I’ll always hold on to, holding hands with Ritchie, swimming along the reef, and pointing out fish and coral and little things to each other. That’s what travel is for, right? Those breathtaking and surreal moments of love and awe and beauty. We hired a car and spent a bunch of time driving up the coast, all the way up to cape tribulation (and didn’t even get eaten by a crocodile). There’s nothing like road tripping, listening to good music, having interesting conversations, and stopping wherever we felt we wanted to. We also got to see the Daintree, visit a little village called Kuranda, go on the huge sky rail, and see real crocodiles in the wild! My favourite thing in the world is being able to adventure with my best friend and I feel so fortune to have been able to spend my birthday doing just that.

Tassie was an amazing experience and I’m so glad that BAT was the catalyst for us finally making time to visit. The BP conference was nicely timed right near Ritchie’s birthday so I was able to extend my business trip out a few days to visit together. It was so cute meeting Ritchie at the airport - I know it had only been a few days I hadn’t been home but I missed him so much and it was so wonderful to be reunited. We spent days in cute air bnbs, eating amazing cheese and chocolate, driving to beautiful places, and listening to The American Dream about 50 times. We almost hit a potaroo but didn’t - apparently they’re serious when they say not to drive at dusk.

We made it to japan this year too! It’s so nice that we got to do two interstate trips and an overseas trip in one year. Japan was amazing, it was nice to be able to go back again but with Ritchie this time, and to share my favourite places with him.

Music

Japan

Fitness

Half sleeve

Danish lessons

[massmurdera]

Best/Worst of 2017

Objectively speaking, 2017 was a tire fire of a year in America and I knew that going in. I’ll leave out the Trump bullshit and how I feel. Americans/people like being outraged, but it gets old to wake up every day in a panic. I did when Deflategate was happening to Tom Brady, but that had no real-world implications. Everyday, I was waking up to check Twitter to see what bad shit was happening. I think I did a solid job cutting it out as best I could and not letting it make me go mad.

It was a mostly boring year and then it picked up towards the very end. I might not feel good about America and where we’re I think we’ heading while holding out hope that this ends soon (I’m naïve and think we’re completely/totally fucked) but I guess I feel all right about where I’m going and how I feel about those close to me in my life. I’m controlling what I can control. Things could be better, but I’m all right. 

TV Funniest go-to show: Desus and Mero Late Night/Politics: John Oliver Favorite TV show (non-Game of Thrones): American Vandal TV SHOW (non-Game of Thrones): 1) Legion 2) Stranger Things 3) Godless 4) Dark 5) Sneaky Pete 6) Mindhunter 7) Marvelous Mrs Maisel 8) Better Call Saul 9) the Deuce 10) Fargo 11) Ozarks 12) 13 Reasons Why 13) Lethal Weapon 14) Riverdale 15) Mr Robot 16) This is Us TV Comedies: 1) American Vandal 2) Big Mouth 3) Nathan for You 4) Rick and Morty 5) GLOW 6) Veep 7) Brockmire 8) Atypical

I’m biased that a family friend of mine co-created American Vandal and his brother is on the show too in a minor role but it REALLY is great. It sounds stupid that older family members scoffed at or were bewildered by, but it’s far smarter social commentary than it appears. It nailed high school so well.

BEST NEW CHARACTERS Funniest: Hormone Monster/Monstress (Big Mouth) Best Jeff Spicoli that should get a spin-off: Dylan and the Wayback Boys (American Vandal) Best Philip Seymour Hoffman: Edward Kemper (Mindhunter) Most fun/crazy role: 1) Aubrey Plaza (Legion) 2) Susan Sarandon (Feud) Perfect role: Marc Maron (GLOW), Nikki Swango (Fargo) Best drunk: Brockmire Sorely Overlooked: Clayne Crawford in Mel Gibson’s role (Lethal Weapon) Star-Making: Katherine Langford (13 Reasons Why); Rachel Brosnahan (Marvelous Mrs Maisel)

DISAPPOINTING FROM GREAT SHOWS: Curb Your Enthusiasm; Fargo; the Americans; Game of Thrones; Silicon Valley; Veep Shows I half-watch but could give up on: Big Little Lies; Feud; Preacher; Runaways; Shameless; the Sinner; SMILF; SNL; This is Us; White Famous WORST Shows: 1) Twin Peaks 2) the Leftovers 3) the Defenders 4) Taboo 5) Top of the Lake Didn’t work but should have: Vice Principals -had moments Absolute Worst: any and all political panel/news shows (Fox News, CNN, MSNBC). Burn them all to the ground.

Still need to watch: American Gods; BoJack Horseman; Brooklyn 99; Carmichael Show; Catastrophe; Good Place; Halt and Catch Fire; Handmaid’s Tale; Master of None; Punisher

Overall: the new shows were damn good, but the established great shows were all letdowns.

MOVIES 5 STARS: CLASSIC: 1) Get Out 4 STARS: 2) Free Fire 3) John Wick II 4) Dunkirk 5) Star Wars 6) Logan 3 ½ stars: Brawl in Cell Block 99; Good Time; Logan Lucky 3 STARS RENTALS: WATCHABLE: Atomic Blonde; Baby Driver, Babysitter, Big Sick; Blade Runner 2049; Fate of the Furious; Okja; Shot Caller, Spiderman, Split; War for Planet of the Apes; Wind River; Wonder Woman 2 STARS-DIDN”T LIKE BUT DECENT PARTS: Girls Trip; Guardians of Galaxy 2; Ingrid Goes West; Lego Batman; War Machine Most boring/dumbest critic favorite: Personal Shopper Cool twist made up for okay movie: Split Coolest soundtrack/score: Good Time, Dunkirk Most Over-the-Top Violent: Brawl in Cell Block 99 Overrated: Baby Driver, Wonder Woman Disappointed: Lego Batman

NEED TO CHECK OUT AFTER I READ BOOK: Lost City of Z; It HAVEN”T SEEN: Call Me By Your Name; Coco; Columbus; Darkest Hour; Disaster Artist; Florida Project; Justice League; Lady Bird; Molly’s Game; mother!; Mudbound; Phantom Thread; the Post; Shape of Water; Thor; Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri

I’ve got catching up to do. But I think the year in movies wasn’t good.

Best Documentaries: 1) the Defiant Ones 2) Get Me Roger Stone 3) the Keepers 4) Jim & Andy BEST NETFLIX STAND-UP SPECIALS: 1) Dave Chappelle 2) Patton Oswalt 3) Ali Wong 4) Marc Maron 5) Neil Brennan 6) Bill Burr 7) Rory Scovel 8) Mike Birbiglia

Burr’s my favorite comic and seeing him live he is the best comic alive but it didn’t translate live. And he cut out so much of his best stuff.  Chappelle might be more natural and have a sense of the moment though. Overplayed controversy -outrage over Chappelle’s jokes. Yeah, I don’t think they actually saw his act and just listened, out of context, to the jokes. He’s still as good as it gets. People just want to be outraged and have things be PC. Comics maybe hype that up, but it’s true. Underrated/Lost moment no one saw: Def Jam 25th Anniversary Special wasn’t good but Chappelle’s 7-minute improv off-the-cuff bit is secretly funnier than anything he did in his 2 specials. I don’t think any other comic alive or ever could have pulled that off as smoothly/naturally.

Worst special: Amy Schumer (like her, but she wasn’t ready to be released and nothing worked: felt like she wanted in on Netflix $ guys like Chappelle/Seinfeld were getting. I get the fairness, but uh, Chappelle’s specials felt like an event.

OTHER SPECIALS (comedy album/non-HBO) SOLID: TJ Miller; Joe DeRosa; Kurt Braunholer; Brian Posehn Didn’t totally work for me but I like them: Jerrod Carmichael, Tiffany Hadish

STILL NEED TO CHECK OUT: Ari Shaffir; Jerry Seinfeld; Brian Regan;  Jen Kirkman; Judd Apatow; Hasaan Minaj; Michelle Wolf; Chris Gethard

Just loaded with too much good comedy. It’s never been better with podcasts, Netflix.

Favorite Podcasts: 1) Chapo Trap House 2) Pardon My Take 3) Frotcast 4) Bill Burr 5) Fuck the Chargers 6) Inactives 6) Revisionist History 7) Dollop 8) My Favorite Murder 9) Hound Tall Best Dollop Episodes of the Year: 1) Falling Pilot 2) Falling Pilot 3) Uber 4) Trump 5) Trump part 1 & 2 5) Enron 6) Phantom of the Open Dollop can be hit-or-miss. But the hits? Are as good as podcasting gets for history, comedy, and understanding the times we live in now. They would make for classic movies/docs. but specializes in overlooked, ridiculous stories that may have had massive historical ramifications (Dope Lake, Falling Pilot qualify for that except the ramifications part). Every once in a blue moon, they nail something timely (Enron) or current (Opium; Uber; Trump). They are the calm in the eye of a storm of utter insanity. Best individual episodes: -Bertcast (#217: Dave Anthony/Gareth Reynolds)-funny stand-up stories -Joey Diaz on Rogan/Bertcast -Tom Segura/Bert Kreischer Weight Loss Challenge (Joe Rogan) first episodes of the year)-funny/strangely inspiring. They did another challenge later in the years  -Revisionist History-Miss Buchanan’s Period of Adjustment (Brown v Board of Education)-the unintended and disastrous consequences still felt today of why the decision was awful in a way you didn’t consider. It’ devastating to hear -Crabfeast #292 (Gareth Reynolds) talks about being hired to entertain kids birthday parties for 5 years as a side job while trying to make it in comedy. I love stories of failure/struggle at shit jobs Funniest podcast: 600 Dollar Podcast-bummer it ended Frotcast is my next favorite for humor (Best of 2016/2017 episodes are most accessible rather than just being dropped in). Bill Burr always. Best guest on a podcast: James Adomian as Gorka (Chapo Trap House) Best political: Chapo Trap House (and, yes, I am a Grey Wolf) Best Sports: Pardon My Take Best fan hate/schadenfreude: Fuck the Chargers Most underrated: Butterfly Effect (Jon Ronson)-only 6 episodes 3 hours 30 minutes; does what Malcolm Gladwell does but more long-form on the porn industry History: Dollop (over Common Sense/Hardcore History) Best local radio show/podcast: Matty & Nick Overrated/Lukewarm/Forgettable: Crimetown; S-Town; Pod Save America, Larry Wilmore Crimetown and  S-Town’ are basically just accents. I didn’t like them the way other people did. Pod Save America is for boring people who don’t listen to podcasts and don’t know or bother for better alternatives. They are inoffensive dudes: it’s VERY basic. I think ‘Lovett or Leave It’ is better depending on the panel. Worst: Missing Richard Simmons Other podcasts I enjoy-Binge Mode, Bodega Boys, Dumb People Town, Emotional Hangs, FOFOP, Handsome Rambler (Hannibal Burress), Lovett or Leave It, We’ll See You in Hell Need to check out more-Crab Feast, Cum Town, In the Dark, Mogul Listen to if they have a good guest -Bertcast, Joe Rogan, WTF, You Made it Weird BEST EVENTS: 1) Pats-Steelers AFC Championship  2) Pats-Texans AFC Divisional  2nd half 3) Chance the Rapper: Boston Calling 4) 1975: Boston Calling 5) Thrice/Circa Survive: House of Blues sadly I couldn’t see Thrice or the stage at all in the mezzanine but I wasn’t mad 5) My Favorite Murder: Wilbur 6) Turnover: Royale 7) Hannibal Burress: Boston Calling 8) Frightened Rabbit: Boston Calling 9) Norm MacDonald @ Wilbur Theatre: Netflix taping 10) watching my friend mosh to Converge while I held his sweatshirt

WORST EVENTS: 1) My cousin at Boston Calling -just a disaster I won’t explain, but it was the probably the most disappointing thing that I experienced all year and shit on my weekend with my friend from LA. I basically had to become a babysitter and ditch my friend. 2) Pats-Texans AFC Championship Game -freezing 0 degree cold January game (expected) in the upper 300-level section and ours was the ONLY one not standing for a playoff game. Sat next to two kids under 8. Then someone brought in a newborn fucking baby that, no hyperbole, could not have been more than a month old. Insane. We snuck into the 200-level section at halftime and it ended up being a fucking party and playoff atmosphere that I wanted, expected, and had enjoyed before. 2) Migos  -last minute replacement for Solange: just looked/sounded completely unprepared and they knew it. Crowd didn’t seem to be into it (Boston is mainly white) and didn’t know the lyrics to chant back: when they did so, it failed, and they were laughing it off but knowing it wasn’t a good setting for them. 4) Bon Iver  -I liked his new album but doesn’t translate well live and to festivals. Super boring. Watching white people LOSE their shit to lukewarm Kenny G-esque saxophone solos (5 people playing the sax) was ridiculous.

MUSIC 1a) Brian Fallon-’If Your Prayers Don’t Get to Heaven’ 1b) Brian Fallon-’Forget Me Not’ 2) Menzingers-’˜Lookers’ 3) Lorde-’Perfect Places’ 4) Carly Rae Jepsen-’Cut to the Feeling’ 5) Turnover-’Breeze’ 6) Vallis Alps-’Fading’ 7) Kendrick Lamar-Humble’ 7) Calvin Harris/Frank Ocean/Migos-’Slide’ 9) Night Game-’the Outfield’ 10) Kesha-’Praying’

Album: Menzingers-’After the Party’ New Artist: Khalid Late pass: Turnover Late pass song: Lord Huron-’the Night We Met’

WORST POLITICAL: the chaos that comes with Trump-Waking up everyday in anxiety to check what happened on Twitter in America with politics/everything. It was, objectively, a trainwreck tire-fire. There’s too much news (which he obviously likes, even if it’s bad: he likes the attention and is a cable news addict). So, yeah, I don’t want to just be overloaded with it all the time, so fuck you forever. A year’s worth of shit is dumped every week. Thing is, I don’t hate Trump the most. He’s a stooge and he’s only doing everything the Republicans want anyway. It’s just that he’s such a dunce.

Worst music moment: 1) Katy Perry dancing w/ Migos, her music videos 2) Taylor Swift album rollout 3) Eminem’s cringe-y Trump freestyle that sounded as bad as Hamilton

Favorite debacles: Uber, Juicero, Fyre Festival Only because I can’t enjoy the Trump presidency debacles since it’s everyday life. Favorite Online Writer: Drew Magary Best health choice: switching to shoes with arch support -I can’t wear any of the major shoes like Nike anymore. I’ve got super flat feet. I was walking around for 2 months feeling like my foot was broken. I was in agony. Instant relief when I got better shoes. Most Confused thought: How the hell is Martin Shkreli the only evil rich asshole to go to jail? Sweetest/Coolest: Remember, Remember the 5th of November and beyond (super dumb inside joke to only person that might read this BS). I’ll leave it at that. I mean, I totally want to write about it, how awesome/funny it is, a phone call I made to my friend that was 12+ years in the making that he didn't expect. But yeah. I’ll just say it’s really sweet and just not jinx it.

Look ahead 2018 MUSIC: 1) Brian Fallon 2) Thrice 3) Chvrches 4) Wonder Years 5) Arctic Monkeys 6) Carly Rae Jepsen 7) 1975 8) Bruce Springsteen 9) Justin Timberlake NEW HBO: 1) Barry-Bill Hader as an assassin 2) Confederacy 3) Mosaic NEW NETFLIX SHOWS: 1) Maniac 2) Altered Carbon OTHER NEW SHOWS: 1) Corporate 2) the Terror 2) Counterpart 3) the Alienist 4) Waco 5) Good Girls  RETURNING TV: 1) True Detective 2) Atlanta SHOWS ENDING: the Americans  BOOKS: 1) Stephen King-’the Outsider’ 2) new Game of Thrones? 3) Michelle McNamara Gillian Flynn is overdue for a new book MOVIES: 1) Death of Stalin 2) Incredibles II 3) Soldado: Sicario II 4) Bodied 5) First Man-Chazzelle 6) Where’d You Go Bernadette-Linklater 7) Predator -Shane Black 8) Halloween -David Gordon Green/Danny McBride 9) Widows -Gillian Flynn/Steve McQueen 10) Creed II 11) Deadpool II 12) Hold the Dark 13) Scarface-Coen brothers 14) Black Panther 15) new ‘Cloverfield’ NEW COMEDY SPECIALS: 1) Bill Burr 2) Chris Rock 3)Tom Segura 4) Bert Kreischer, 5) Mike Birbiglia

Biggest bummer: no Game of Thrones until 2019, but I’d rather they not fuck it up

LOOK AHEAD TO 2018: -moving out of parent’ place in 2 weeks while still saving up to buy a house/condos  -uh, I just turned 31, so that took forever. I have a decent amount of $ saved up to secure a house, but I want a decent one. -brother’s wedding in April -and bachelor party -cousins getting married and engaged -happening in droves -Pats playoff run and maybe the last best stand in the Belichick-Brady era. Brady could easily play 3 more years, be a top 3-5 QB (he still is the best, most durable/toughest, consistent), break every record, but something to be said about going out on top. -Shows/Tours Hoping to see: Boston Calling, Bill Burr, Brian Fallon, Bert Kreischer, Thrice, Chappelle, Pats -Gaslight Anthem reunion shows for 10-year anniversary of ‘the 59 Sound’ AND hopefully coming back again