#lend me an actual hand; or since you probably can't do that (know I can't many of the places I'd like to)

[tsxkkis]

# tsukishima kei - wait

a/n = ahh i fear this might be too out of character T-T also i've been so busy with reading jjk lately i might just start writing for it too

summary = old feelings to a certain blonde resurface and are accidentally revealed by none other than tipsy you.

warnings = making out, mentions of alcohol (all characters are aged up a bit so they can legally drink), nothing else i think

his eyes were glued to you the entire night.

you noticed, obviously. the bar you decided to meet up at was just big enough for all of you to fit inside, the long-awaited karasuno volleyball team reunion finally happening. it's been a few years since high school ended for you and your friends, saying your emotional goodbyes as you all went your separate ways.

but it was the hardest thing in the world for you to say goodbye to tsukishima kei.

it wasn't a secret that you had a crush on him ever since you saw him for the first time, sitting right in front of you in your english class as you gently pat his shoulder, asking if he had a spare pencil in the quietest whisper you could let out. you were hooked from that moment on; and yet for the entirety of high school, you didn't act up on your feelings, not even once.

as cold as he was to most people around, tsukishima seemed to treat you just the slightest bit differently. he would always lend you money if you forgot yours for lunch, making sure to call you an idiot in the process as he put the coins inside the vending machine, getting your favorite drink. helping you out with studying, something other first years could only dream of, and doing all that without you having to beg him for it. a sight so genuinely rare that even yamaguchi himself was surprised.

everyone always asked one question; 'why didn't you confess?' maybe it was the fact that you were scared of ruining your perfectly good friendship. maybe you were afraid of it affecting the dynamics in your friend group, or maybe you were just terrified that he wouldn't treat you seriously.

so when you found yourself lying in his apartment, the soft pillow from his couch under your head as he hovered over you, lips attached to yours in an eager kiss, you were almost sure it was all just a dream. the few drinks you had downed earlier definitely helped your confidence in that moment, as you were the one to start all of this, but it still felt unreal to be in this situation right now.

tsukishima breathed heavily, his hand squeezing your hip, thumb lazily drawing circles on it as he used the other one to keep himself from falling with all of his weight on top of you. he was sure it wouldn't end well for you, considering how he was significantly bigger. he gasped as he felt your hand traveling to his hair, lightly tugging on it as you deepened the kiss.

"wish i've done that sooner," you mumbled lazily in between kisses, his lips quickly back on yours as his hand wandered higher, resting on your cheek gently. you were surprised to see him pull away, the faintest smile on his face as his eyes locked with yours.

"i know." your eyes widened at his response, the alcohol slightly clouding your mind seemingly dissapearing from your body entirely. "can't believe it took you five drinks and all these years of waiting to actually say it."

you immediately sat up, eyes as big as ever, face flushed a deep shade of red (from both the alcohol and the embarrassment) as you looked away from him, your hands coming up to hide your face. tsukishima still hovered over you, his signature grin gracing his face as he chuckled at your state.

"don't tell me you knew all this time." he could barely hear you mumble, your hands stopping most of the sound from coming out. you didn't want to believe it, but at the same time, tsukishima was damn smart. and he wasn't blind, either; he could probably see how you tried your best at hiding your feelings from everyone.

"yamaguchi told me at the end of our third year." he shook his head, a small laugh leaving his lips. "apparently he was 'fed up with the mutual pining', or whatever he said."

"mutual?" you whispered as you slowly uncovered your still red face, tsukishima shifting to sit down next to you. a sigh left his lips, his eyes closed for a few seconds, as if to muster up the courage for whatever he was about to say.

"you know i'm not good with expressing my emotions, and i definitely was even more shit at it in high school." he started explaining, eyes looking everywhere else but you. "only yamaguchi knew about me liking you, but when he finally told me that you actually liked me back i was..."

"scared you wouldn't be able to survive a long distance relationship since you knew i was going away for college and that it would ruin our entire friend group if we didn't work out."

he looked at you, a stoic expression on his face as if to say that you got that correctly.

"tch. you're being annoying reading in my mind like that, you know?" his words made you giggle, his hand up to gently flick you in the forehead. in reality, tsukishima was glad you finished that sentence for him; he probably wouldn't be able to express himself correctly if you didn't step in. "yamaguchi still curses me out for it."

you took a deep breath, thinking of your next words.

"you know, we could always try it." his head turned towards you, a puzzled look. "when we finish college. if you're willing to wait, that is."

tsukishima smiled, at it almost took your breath away. he didn't smile much, and even if he did, it was almost never like this. this time, it was the most genuine smile you ever saw from him; warm and gentle.

"of course i am. you don't even know for how long."

taglist: @ox1-lovesick @moonswolfie @wyrcan

[koolades-world]

super sorry for the mixup I made! if you don't know, I accidently wrote a request that asked for a Mc with borderline personality disorder with bipolar disorder. thinking about it now, it was probably a combo of me not thinking and the acronyms being so similar, but I know that not an excuse and I own up to my mistake!

here it what was actually requested and sorry again!!

Mc with Borderline Personality Disorder

Lucifer

as the most grounded of the brothers, he's often there to comfort you and help you, even if it means he needs to make a hole in his schedule

he knows the changes in mood isn't something you can control, so he stays by your side the entire time

he dealt with satan during his most volatile life stage, so he knows how to handle your anger and is very sweet about it

constantly lets you know he's not going anywhere and will remain by you

Mammon

understands the fear of being abandoned

he's always dealing the feeling of not being good enough and that his brothers might replace him and leave him behind somewhere

he also understands your impulsivity because he also struggles with that as the avatar of greed

supports you no matter what since he knows to an extent what it's like

Levi

his sense of self is distorted, and while not the same as it would be for you, he will be by your side since he knows the feelings of despair that come with it

another brother that reaffirms you that he won't leave you in any way

he knows how hard it is to open up sometimes and gives you all the time you need

overall just very understanding and is sure to hold your hand every step in your journey together

Satan

since he's the embodiment of wrath, he totally understands the rage you might experience, whether at yourself or someone else

he knows the experience is different for everyone, so he can't say all of his trick will 100% work but won't hesitate to give you his favorite tips for managing anger

he's been dealing with his anger since he was born, so he has time to talk about anything you might be dealing with

welcomes you with open arms

Asmo

welcomes you into his self care routine that includes meditation

he's willing to give you whatever you need from him to be more comfortable

he's always willing to lend a listening ear

he often tells you how grateful he is that you entered his life and that you're the best thing that's happened to him

Beel

also experiences feeling empty, something he often talks about with you since you act as the filling of that void <3

sometimes he struggles to satiate that feeling and substitutes it with eating

if you want, he'll let you sleep in his bed every night, or he'll come to you if it helps

if you need anything, just let him know, and he'll do his best to fulfill your request

Belphie

always considers what he does carefully before he does it to make sure he won't accidently trigger or upset you

understands not wanting to talk it out since he knows how tough that is

reading others is also something he struggles with sometimes

often lets you know that he cares about you <3

[seangelfish]

"Just hold onto me, okay?"

Izumi Sena x Reader ♡ Tags: Fluff, mutual crush, she/her pronouns ♡ Word count: 2,444 ♡ Synopsis: Inspired by the gacha story Dance on Ice in which this card is featured in. Reader is a soloist idol that has also acquired a photoshoot at the same ice rink Knights was having theirs at. However, you haven't ice skated before, so Izumi lends you a hand. ♡ A/N: I need more Izumi x reader fics.

"Hm, what? Were you guys looking for me?" asked Leo curiously.

"Not the two of us; just Anzu," Izumi stated. "She says she needs to talk to you about work. She already told me what it was about, but I can't make a decision on my own, right?"

Leo laughed. "Well, it's only natural for the leader to make decisions. So, what kind of work is it?"

Anzu explained that the work she had for them was a pinup photoshoot for a magazine in which the theme was 'Knights on Ice.' Since the theme was geared towards Knights, Izumi suggested that they should take on the offer. Leo agreed on how convenient the offer was to them, and to be on ice would perhaps spark inspiration for new music.

"Naru-kun has skating experience and Kuma-kun will probably be fine too. I'm not sure about Kasa-kun, but I can teach him if he doesn't know how to skate," Izumi rambled on. "Ou-sama, can you skate? It'll be embarrassing if you slip awkwardly. Do you want me to teach you along with Kasa-kun?"

Leo rejected his offer, stating how he has crossed and walked on ice before. "Oh, since we're going ice skating though," he began. "Shouldn't you ask (Y/N) if she wants to join?"

"We're going to be at the rink for work," said Izumi. "We aren't there to have fun."

But the mention of your name did make him think of whether to bring you along. Izumi knew how much you have always wanted to try ice skating, but since you were a soloist at Yumenosaki which took up all of your time working on perfecting your performances, you never really had the time to try out the activities you've always wanted to do.

Leo pointed a finger at him. "You know you want to, Sena! Come on, the client won't even be mad if we bring her along. She's (Y/N) (L/N) after all!"

Izumi flicked his hand away. "I know how much everyone's trying to get their hands on her," he said with a tone of annoyance in his voice. "...I'll think about it."

"Hahaha, so that's a yes then!" cheered Leo before realising that the two have been excluding Anzu in their conversation. "Oh, don't worry, Anzu. You won't get in trouble if we bring (Y/N) along. She actually knows the client very well, seeing that she keeps getting constant job offers, hahaha!"

"Anzu, you could come into the kotatsu instead of standing there like that," said Izumi before continuing on the subject at hand. "But if it does bother you, then we won't bring her–"

"Oh no, it's nothing like that," she said with a light chuckle. "I also got her a photoshoot at the rink too!"

Izumi was actually excited upon hearing those words. The next day, when he arrived at the ice rink, he scanned the area all over for you. Though, he wasn't only looking for you, but for Leo and Ritsu too.

Irked by their absence, Izumi sighed. "I've already given Ou-sama a warning, so I thought he'd be fine... He said he doesn't forget about the important things, but it has completely slipped his mind..."

Tsukasa went off to go find Leo whilst Anzu offered to find Ritsu. Izumi knew that Arashi had a photoshoot before this, so he wasn't too worried about her. But where were you? Anzu had informed him that your photoshoot was set an hour before his, so you would’ve been finished with it, right?

He would’ve called you, but he didn’t want to disturb you if you were still busy. Though, he sent you a text, hoping that you’d read it soon.

“Since we’re here at the ice rink, I guess I’ll warm up,” he muttered to himself.

Izumi kicked off his heel as he started to slide through the ice with grace. He circled the rink effortlessly, performing beautiful tricks with ease.

You watched him quietly from behind the barrier. Your photoshoot hadn’t even started despite it being booked an hour before. Since you told the client you didn’t know how to skate, they gave you an extra hour to learn which would’ve been nice of them, but they specifically said, “Alright, teach yourself then. We don’t have all day.”

This was the first time you’d ever dealt with a rude client, so your usual happy-go-lucky mood had shifted to a gloomy one. However, watching Izumi skate so elegantly made all those bad feelings go away.

You were amazed at how beautiful he looked as he skated. He was light on his feet, his movements mesmerising. You could watch him all day, but you knew you had to practise your own skills before you had to go back to your photoshoot.

Izumi wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings whenever he skated, he was only focusing on himself in that moment, but when he caught a glimpse of your silhouette, he immediately came to a stop.

His eyes lit up and his lips curled into a genuine smile. There you were.

“(Y/N),” he exclaimed. “I was wondering where you were. You must be finished with your photoshoot, right? So, why didn’t you reply to my message?”

You smiled at him sheepishly. “I… haven’t even started with my shoot,” you admitted. “…I don’t know how to skate after all, so they told me to go practise—”

“Wait, they didn’t have someone on the team to teach you?” he asked with concern in his voice.

“No… they told me to teach myself… I have an hour to do so.”

Izumi’s smile was wiped off his face. He had experience within the fashion industry and with modelling, so he knew how unprofessional it was for your client to not teach you how to skate let alone leave you to do it yourself.

He couldn’t believe that you were already having trouble with your client. He never wanted you to experience anything like that at work even if it was inevitable.

He was going to speak to the staff on your behalf right after he was finished.

But right now, he was going to teach you how to ice skate.

“Alright, get in the rink,” he said, skating towards the entrance. “I’ll teach you.”

You instantly smiled at these words, but you were still pretty nervous. You haven’t ice skated before and you were scared of falling. Falling in front of Izumi would be embarrassing too even if you two were close friends.

“You should’ve called me beforehand since Ou-sama and Kuma-kun aren’t here yet,” he continued. “But it’s okay, I can teach you how to skate in twenty– fifteen minutes.”

You hesitated. Your hands gripped onto the barrier as you tried to get into the rink, but couldn’t due to how frightened you were.

This is so embarrassing, you thought. I can’t even get in…

Izumi stretched a hand in front of you. “Don’t be afraid. Come over here,” he said gently with a smile on his face. “Just hold onto me, okay?”

You nodded, taking his hand as you entered the rink. He took your other hand in his as he glided you across.

You held his hands tight which stung him a bit. “(Y/N), relax. I won’t let you fall.”

“B-But this is scary!” you fretted, your grip tightening even more. “Izumi, please don’t let go of me…!”

“I wasn’t planning to,” he stated. "Alright, look straight ahead. Don't look at your feet even if you're scared. If you can't help it, then just focus on me."

You lifted your head a bit and locked eyes with him. His blue eyes mimicked the background the two of you were in right now. Despite how blue and icy his eyes looked, there was some warmness in them as they looked at you.

You blushed and instantly looked away.

"Ah, no. Don't look away!"

You couldn't help it. You were holding hands with him and now you were looking into his eyes? It seemed like the two of you were a couple with how close you two were together.

"People are going to take this the wrong way..." you muttered.

"So? Why not let them think that way?"

"...What?"

Izumi shook his head. "Let's get on with the lessons, okay?" As he kept hold of your hands, he taught you how to skate by bending your knees to keep your balance, then using your body weight from one side to the other to start moving.

He taught you how to glide and to stroke. It was difficult at first, but you were improving really fast. Midway through your session with him, you were getting the hang of it, but the two of you still kept your grip on each other's hands.

"Haha, this is so fun!" you chirped happily as the two of you skated around the rink together.

Izumi smiled. "See, it wasn't too bad, was it?" he said. "You're doing great... as expected from you."

"Thanks to you, of course!" Your fingers began to lock with his. "Izumi, thank you for teaching me, I really do appreciate it."

"Of course, anything for you," he replied, mumbling the last part of his sentence so you wouldn't pick it up.

"Now, let's spin!"

"Wait, what–"

You pulled your body weight to make the two of you start spinning. Unfortunately, since you were still a beginner, it did not work, so Izumi had to try to steady you both again before either of you fell.

"(Y/N)!" he exclaimed. "You're always like this..."

"S-Sorry, I got too carried away..."

"If you wanted to spin, then you should've let me do it."

Izumi had let go of one of your hands but kept a soft grip on the other. He brought you closer to him and then lifted your hand to twirl you around.

It was a short twirl, but it had excited you. It made you incredibly happy that even his cheeks were tinted with a soft pink colour.

"Haha, that was so cute!" you beamed. "Let's do it again, please?"

Izumi just couldn't say no to you, so he twirled you again, and you looked beautiful. Even with the coat hanging over you, you looked beautiful to him. Your eyes glistened as you looked at him, and he fell for you all over again.

"Again!" you squealed.

"Don't you have a photoshoot to be getting ready for?" he said with a slight smirk. "Our lessons were over once you started spinning us around."

"Oh, right! My photoshoot!"

Izumi sighed. You reminded him so much of Leo, but at least you didn't cause trouble.

"Have a good photoshoot," he told you, lifting your hand up to his lips before planting a soft kiss. "I'll be here waiting for you once you come back."

Your cheeks were hot even when the rest of your body was cold, yet you couldn't stop smiling.

"Izumi..."

"Off you go then."

Your hands parted from his even if the two of you didn't want it to.

You waved him a short goodbye before skating back to your preparation team. He watched you trail off as you began to get ready, slipping off your coat to reveal the dress you were hiding underneath. You really were breathtaking.

"I found Leader," said Tsukasa as he began to berate the Knights' leader on why he kept getting lost every single time they needed him. Anzu was dragging a coffin in which Izumi assumed Ritsu was sleeping inside.

Once Ritsu woke up, Izumi informed the staff that they were all here. Arashi had been waiting inside for them for a while now.

"I didn't know (Y/N) was doing a photoshoot here as well..." Arashi whispered into Izumi's ear. "She's pretty, isn't she?"

Izumi flinched at this, but calmed down almost immediately.

"Let's just do a good job, okay?" he said.

Your photoshoot lasted longer than you expected, but you preformed well especially since you had help from Izumi earlier. The client was a little bit nicer to you this time, but even if they continued to be rude, you wouldn't let it get to you. Nothing could sour your mood now once Izumi left a kiss on the back of your hand.

Knights were finished with their photoshoots too, even the one where they competed against UNDEAD.

You skated towards the crowd, waving your hands at them to notice you.

"Ah, here comes (Y/N)-chan~" sang Arashi, teasing her silver-haired friend. "Uwa~ her dress is sooo cute~!"

But before Izumi could reply to her, you had slipped. "(Y/N)!" cried Izumi, rushing towards you.

"Ow... ow..." you hissed. I guess I'm still not cut out for this after all.

"You okay?" he asked you worriedly, crouching down on the ice as he lifted your back. "Nothing's broken, I hope?"

"N-No, I'm fine," you replied. "Although this IS kind of embarrassing... I was hoping not to fall today and I was doing so well..."

Izumi chuckled as he leaned down closer to you, hugging you ever so slightly. You were surprised by this affection, but you weren't complaining. You rested your head on his chest, finding comfort in his grasp.

"You did do well and I am so proud of you."

You grinned up at him. "I like it when you're like this," you began. "You could be so sweet..."

"Haha, alright. Let's get you up," he said, noticing how much you were shivering. However, you kept him in place before the others could check up on you two.

"Izumi."

"Hmm?"

"I like you so much."

Now it was his turn for him to turn red. Hehe, revenge, you thought. But you weren't lying when you told him you liked him – you really did like him. You wanted to hold hands with him again, to be within his comfort again.

"I like you too, (Y/N). I always have."

[Extra]

Izumi didn't inform you about this, but he did speak with your client before your photoshoot officially started. He berated them on how unprofessional they were with you, and how they should've had someone on the team to help you with skating instead of leaving it to your own hands.

He didn't want you to experience any more rudeness from them as he knew you wouldn't be able to stand up for yourself. It was one of the ways he wanted to protect you, and it worked because you couldn't stop smiling at him throughout the rest of the day.

Hand in hand, the two of you left the ice rink together with Knights, your fingers interlocked with each other.

Intro page | Ensemble Stars masterlist | Rules

[dxliqhted]

closer: al haitham

al haitham x fem!reader, mildly suggestive, library date.

his arms were firmly crossed over his chest, his eyes roaming each of the books spine not stopping until he found the one he needed. he swore it was here last time he checked,

"can i borrow this?" his eyes followed your voice, to see you chat with a man on the ladder, you pointed up to the top shelf indicating what you needed it for.

kindly, the guy grabbed his finds and lended her the ladder, leaving you unattended. which was no option for al haitham—not when your two left legs were 10 feet high on a ladder.

abandoning his book search, he slowly approached the ladder, you were already at the top not paying attention to what was down as you read the backs of each book, "no..." you mumbled at a book from what he could see was about the plant poetry. so easily it brought a smile to his lips, he loved watching you—didn't matter doing what he just found you so entertaining, your reactions to things were always priceless.

what he didn't know was why you were here, this library of all others.

you finally picked a book that seemed to interest you, managing to get you on the first page, and with another flip you were hooked, leaning more on the ladder to gain more comfort, as if forgetting one mistep was costly.

"the chairs probably more comfortable than this old ladder," he spoke finally, your attention instantly on him, "haitham?" you look down to see the smilely man, "baby come down," he suggested again, "it's actually comfy up here,"

"[name]."

"fresher air. a nice change from down there." you shrug and he looks at you thoughtfully, he doesn't speak but his eyes do it for him, cat like eyes filled with longing mixed with adoration once he scans my body and my face, but also demanding.

"you're lucky i like you." you still step down towards him, his hands cup your waist lifting you down and against him in a hug,

he waits for you to look down at him before pressing a sweet kiss to your lips, distracting you from the hand that was out for your book,

"does my luck still count here?" he snickers, waving the book in front of you teasingly as you finally realized exactly what he's done.

"NO." you shout once you register exactly what he's doing, your cheeks burst with heat as your stomach drops.

not that your embarrassed about your choices in literature...but if he see's he'll never let it go and that'll be it for your book enjoyment.

he presses a finger to your lips asking you to shush, you were in a studying area… "why not? you took an awful amount of time picking it out...it has to be good." he whispered, amusement all over his face.

"it is a good book." you confirmed,

"then why can't i flip through it? his brow rose, and to your unsuccess in getting it back you sighed with a nod, "just don't...be you about it." your frustration was taken with a light laugh, "me about it?"

"tease about it for the next year every chance you get."

he smirked wickedly, and you gave up as he read the cover then slowly looked up at you, wordlessly.

"yes?" you asked but he slowly shook his head like theres no reason to the slow stare, there was because when he flipped the page he immediately gave it back to you.

"too much?" you asked as he slowly turned away from you, "you didn't even read the page.." you open the book and scan the words and then suddenly he huffs, "erotic poetry?"

"smut."

"smut. you read this shamelessly in public?" he asks, turning back to you, seeing you nod, a smile widden on your lips, shameless, "people don't usually notice unless they've read it too...i mean it looks normal." the covers a light shade of green with golden letters in the corner, hand-coverable, and practical.

which is good since you weren't really known for this but more for your innocence, come to think of it you think al haitham likes you more for this.

"are you really that surprised?" i stepped closer to him, he takes a minute but he actually nods,

"i thought it was gonna be something stupid like a travel book."

"travel books aren't stupid.."

strangely, looking embarrassed as he clears his throat, "how about we study the book." he says, pointing to one for the librarys private rooms, this makes you laugh, "study?"

he grabs your wrist pulling you along to the open room, "well your strongly interested aren't you?" he smirks, "and i'm greatly misinformed..." the door clicks shut, and you sure hope the room was sound proof.

©dxliqhted ♡ please do not steal, modify, plagiarize or repost my works

[thenightfolknetwork]

Hello, I wrote in a while ago about my son, and I think you should be made aware of everything that has happened since our letters aired, as you aided him in opening up about his true troubles at the time.

I did give him the privacy of not listening to his letter as it came on that night, which he probably would have quizzed me about if he’d still been awake when I got home. He’s still my son and several of my more, let’s say family oriented former colleagues, did heavily impress on me that I should respect whatever boundaries he draws, no matter how silly. That did partially lend me to think his sullenness was a new boundary that I didn’t dare directly cross.

I did also say former colleagues, as I took your advice and left my old line of work, completely severing any ties to it and giving up any nemesis statuses I might’ve racked up over the years,and opened up a small Etsy shop where I sell custom hand sewn clothing items. The patterns I remember from my youth are actually quite popular amongst longer lived genuses who are nostalgic about late 18th and early 19th century fashion, and sapio historical reenactors and fashion history enthusiasts. And who knew that the sleight of hand I developed during my old job would lend itself so well to hand sewing!

My son is also doing well. His bully issues have been solved with minor feather loss on her end (mostly due the stress from her actions making its way back to her convocation), and the school councillor has regular meet ups with her last I heard. I’ve also met my son’s boyfriend! A lovely young merman, who’s so very sweet. I’m glad he found someone nice and only begrudgingly understand why he kept them a secret from me. I do agree that I have the potential to be very intimidating to new people, especially those who have a real way of hurting my son.

I still listen to your broadcasts, especially the agonies section, but nowadays it’ll be when I’m up late felling the edges of my projects rather than hunting down whoever was on my list for the night.

May you have a wonderful week. Good night.

I'm so glad to hear you and your son are seeing eye to eye once more! I remember both your initial letter and his own, and recall how evident it was that both of you cared very much for one another, even as you struggled to find a way to communicate.

Well done on leaving your old job. I know it couldn't have been easy for you, but I admire your willingness to make difficult choices for the safety and happiness of your family.

As I said in my response, I never wished to shame or blame you for your son's forcible turning. That responsibilty lies firmly with the individual who attacked him.

But that individual was acting in response to your chosen career, and I am very glad you took my advice and have taken up a less dangerous profession - for yourself, and your loved ones.

You've demonstrated real care and consideration for him during this difficult period, and it's good to see that paying off in his newfound trust in you. I wish you all the best in your historical costuming endeavours.

It is always difficult as a parent to discern the line between respecting your child's privacy, and keeping them safe. But just as it was inappropriate for you to expect your son to defend himself against an attacked, it would have been inappropriate to disrespect his autonomy and independence.

I can't pretend I don't feel some small satisfaction at hearing his school bully has been suffering from the consequences of her behaviour. May her suffering be short-lived - but educational.

It sounds as if you've done a very good job of walking that line, making sure your son feels supported while also demonstrating that you can be trusted not to cross his boundaries – even those you may consider “silly”. You have more than risen to the challenge, and I wish you and your son all the best in the future.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[martyr-19]

{"guardian_login": "Martyr-19"}

{“id": "0122"}

{"title": "Click"}

{"type": "entrylog"}

{"created": "####-##-##”}

{“updated”: “####-##-##”}

Back when I was a New Light, I did a lot of tailing people around to try learning my place. Big people, y'know? Veteran Guardians and Vanguard. They were in charge, or had been around so long, and therefore always seemed to know what to do. I didn't. It only made sense to learn by watching and listening, taking up every mission I could and offering to lend a hand.

I was keenly aware of the condition of myself. My condition being that my mind was under constant strain, and that memories served to tangle and weigh on it further. I only had so much space that I could fill, and that space was constantly altered and maintained by my Ghost. The big things, the important things, were what we determined took priority.

I guess I myself determined that connections with anyone were out of the question. With people, there's always so much to keep in mind—little details to remember, things you'll want to desperately hold onto. I was scared of knowing anyone, and I was scared of them knowing me, since I would likely never hold onto our interactions. I know it wasn't healthy. I know now that it's probably done a lot of damage that even the Light can't reach and I can't shake. Habits form and die hard, but all I can do is try to unlearn them.

As a result, I didn't talk much. I didn't serve as anything but droning support. You can't connect with people when you don't try to stop from fading into the noise. I thought it was easier to be so disconnected from everything. Most Guardians forgot I existed for my first year or so at the Tower, and I don't remember much of anyone at all. I did a lot of work to push through the ache of loneliness that isolation caused. That, of course, included direct Vanguard work once I was out of that "You've been dead for a helluva long time—hope you're ready for war" haze and could follow instructions.

Ikora, Zavala...Cayde.

Now, Cayde, I used to follow him around like a stray puppy way back when. I didn't talk much—as I said, watching and listening. I don't know what it was about him. Maybe because he was the opposite of what I was: confident, skilled, optimistic, sociable. Maybe it was because he saw me first. I was fresh out of the grave and lost, with no voice, no identity—like a proper machine of war.

I remember a vague sense of envy.

I wanted that. I wanted to be that.

In hindsight, I think you can't just be that—Cayde was...well, that was him. Something uniquely him. Be as capable and funny as you want, there isn't a way to be Cayde-6.

Though it helped something click, I think, when we talked for the first time. Not an actual conversation, mind you. More like our first exchange of words.

I was partnered up with a fireteam of Guardians roughly my "age." Didn't know them, I don't think, but they talked like they knew each other. The run itself was the sort of run you give to newbies to prepare them without throwing them to the wolves. Supplies? I can't remember the shipment, but I do remember a real angry Captain kicking my head so hard into a rock that Prophet had to bring me back. So much for not throwing us to the wolves, but not the point.

It was the first time I was acknowledged directly because I was fading into things, not noticed. Acknowledged.

We were heading out after the debrief, and Cayde stopped me. The first thing he said to me was: "You've been floating around the Tower a while, that right? I've spotted you a few times."

I told him I had, and that I preferred to keep my hands busy and head low.

He just nodded, patted me on the shoulder as he was walking off to get back to it, and called back a "Then keep the kids in check for me, yeah?"

Looking back, it wasn't much—closer to nothing than something. At the time? It was everything. Being seen when I wasn't trying to be, having my existence pointed out—it was like confirmation that I was real. I was alive. I was a person.

I didn't consider myself much of a person before that. I wasn't sure what I was.

But I liked that feeling. Being seen was a good feeling. It scared me to know people were perceiving me even when I tried to avoid it, but it was still a good feeling no matter how much I wanted to convince myself it wasn't.

It clicked that I didn't want to be alone. I wanted to know. I wanted to be known.

I don't know if he knew or knows how much that exchange impacted me. Something so small—something that was definitely just courtesy for him to make sure even the quiet-types felt like they had a place.

What's funny is that he probably wouldn't remember if you asked him. So many Guardians he met and talked to every single day...

But I remember.

Maybe I'll look for an old picture from back then…

M19

[sentinelq]

Tickled during Martial Arts practice

It's pretty cool when women take up self-defense classes, especially something as active and complex as MMA. Lending your help occasionally to help her practice is no big deal, but this time there's a belt rank-up at stake. As always, the rules to offset the difference in strength being that if she knows what the answer is to the pin/hold and half-way execute it, she passes and you let her go. Her laziness is usually not too bad, but it has become a habit.

Since she's so adamant about going over the evaluation material, you get excited and also take it a bit more serious. She moves in, you go down. You grab her leg and drag her down with you. In her effort to grapple your head, she realizes what you'll be using to simulate punches, as you give her a little tickle on her sides.

"Hey, that's not f-" is all she has time to say before you start tickling her even more. "You're supposed to be able to take punches and keep going, why are you stopping"? She's so incredibly ticklish, you can just manhandle her any way you like with zero resistance, so you raise her hands above her head and sit on them.

"How would you get out of this?" "I don't fu-hahaha" as your fingers make tiny little circles inside her armpits, "plea-haha" , once she admits her slacking she gets all fingers in, her body thrashing in the air yet her upperbody unable to move. After 2 full minutes of her alternating between calling you a sneaky bitch and please please please, you put on your imaginary monocle and explain that she should press on her legs to reach back and grab on to you, and let her go. "This is literally the simplest pin!"

She's doing terribly, constantly curling into a defenceless ball whenever you start tickling and going beet red when you're tickle-talking her, completely giving up on using the fact that your arms are busy and trying to stop you. In your mind, this will be the last pin, since she's clearly missing the fundamentals and probably won't pass the test.

You gently trip her to the ground, pin her arms above her head with your forearm and scissor her hips between your legs. "How do you get out of this? There's 2 answers actually" The more silent she was, the more you approached her armpits, eventually starting to lick them, while your free arm teasingly circled the perimeter of her ticklish belly button. "Coochie coochie coo, you just think it over baby" while she howled in laughter, shouting "I don't know, I don't know".

Enough was enough. "Since you're not taking this seriously, I'll just end this and pin you until you show me you surrender." Your belly tickling hand reaching into her panties, she hears the most flustering combination of words of the week. "Of course, I'll only stop when you show me your white flag..." You find out that tickle-kissing and worshipping her ticklish armpits has already made her wet, your index fingers trailing her pussy lips, descending and ascending in little circles, occasionally focusing on just rubbing one side juuust the right way.

She's in agony, laughing and horny, knowing this will only finish when she does, begging you to make her cum as you lick "I'm sorry" into her exposed armpit, over and over and over again as she impotently squirms and thrashes around. You give special attention to her needy little clit, rubbing it sooo good, 2 fingers holding it still and your index toying with her immobilised horny button. "Are you gonna practice seriously from now on" "YES!" she's leaking onto the floor as her clit, trapped between your 3 fingers is simultaneously tickled from all directions, "are you suuuuure?". She can't answer, she's regressed into a ticklish, horny animal that's unable to verbalise, desperately gasping in laughter, moaning in almost-orgasm.

"Alright babygirl, you've had enough. I'll make you raise your white flag myself." Your knees hold her upper body in place, you hold her thigh in the air with one arm and suck her throbbing, swollen clit in your mouth while you finger her. Your tongue tastes her throughly, swishing up and down with that roughness, grinding against her and making sure she's feeling every. little. bit. while your fingers are pumping in and out as the orgasm swells, swells, swells and bursts out of her, again, again, again as she practically surrenders an orgasm for every single time you pinned her this week.

K.O

[somniumfaults]

omg omg i finally finished reading ep 7 of tkdb and it was SOOOOOO GOOD. yuri and jiro are obviously sweethearts and i would die for them.

spoilers for ep 7

i also SCREAMED at haku calling the mc princess bfdhkqakfsdjhjgkl..... like, i had already seen it online! i knew it was gonna happen!!!!! but still ghdfksjk; he's not even my fave but he's so SWOON worthy.

the scene where it's revealed that jiro is zenji's brother was also so :( i kinda wish we had gotten more but also i'm happy with what we do have. i Do wish i could have experienced it raw but. cest la vie or whatever the french say. ZENJI GETTING SAD JIRO DOESN'T KNOW HE STILL EXISTS MADE ME SO SAD THO. LET THEM MEET!!! LET THEM REUITE!!!!!! HAKU WHAT ARE YOU DOING!! (being responsible probably but still. kicks him!! useless!!!)

i also totally saw dante approving of the gala from like, a mile away. prof nicolas had me scared for a moment but we've seen hyde call dante out wayyyy too many times for being a softie for me to think he wouldn't agree to it. HYDE ON THE OTHER HAND.... i think its reallly interesting to see them start to more obviously lean into the nature of "hyde" being the more nefarious side of jekyll. i have my doubts that they'll ever do anything so blatant as a personality change, but i do suppose i could see them sort of using it as it is already? or well, in the sense that the name reference is less so something to imply a future personality change, as most series would probably do, and more-so just an indication of hyde's two faced nature.

a part of me honestly is starting to wonder if all the ghouls up until now have been red herrings... maybe hyde is the one who is the spy after all. i honestly wouldn't be surprised, and since he's giving out "special missions" i suppose it could also lend itself to the other ghouls feeling guilt over their actions bc they know for a fact they're being shady. also: see sho saying that he's the only man for the job during his introduction could be a reference to the fact that hyde was the one behind everything and as his brother, he's the most fit for the job of taking him on. of course, this is a super flimsy defense for the theory lol bc there are so many other ghouls who kind of phrase their intros as holding responsibility for taking care of whatever disaster is happening during the intro but. still. i think its possible!!!!

OH. AND HOW COULD I FORGET JIN STEPPING IN FOR THE MC WHEN TAIGA WAS BEING A LIL BITCH AT THE AUDITORIUM. he's so tsun and cute hgkjfklsjdlk; "noooo i totally didn't do it for you" ass.... the idea of taiga and jin duking it out is actually sooooo cool and sexy. i went SO WILD during the comic scene where they were staring each other down and debating the amount of money bc it was just so cool....

i'm also super curious about the dynamic btwn romeo and hyde bc i... will not lie it really sounds like romeo is being taken advantage of. i mean, maybe that's just stating the obvious LOL but honestly despite romeo's brattiness (affectionate), i can't help but feel bad for the dude because that whole interaction just screamed "i'm way out of my depth even if i don't realize it". i'm really looking forward to the next chapter and getting to see more of sinostra and their dynamic

[iobartach]

okay! this has been a LONG time coming, so brace yourselves for this... we're gonna talk about that injection scene from ats.v so comic purists especially please don't hunt down my ass for what i'm about to put out into the universe 😂

....so ..... let's talk about ... atsv's injection scene ;

what was intended by it? fuck knows, waiting for sony to send answers on a postcard. buuuut, for my take, let me be clear on the interpretations / meanings that i'm not gonna perpetuate ;

it's not rapture. i'm drawing a HARD STOP under that thought. noooo thankkk you.

it's not the source of his spider powers. we're staying true to our Cronenberg-inspired metamorphosis horrific-ness here 😎 even if more... recent reinventions of miguel shown in the comics would tell you he willingly opted to make himself half-spider, i ain't subscribing to it. (miguel's perspective on his transformation probs deserves its own hc post eventually! stay tuned!

so... if not this... what then? well...

i'm gonna posit that the injection(s) are a way for miguel to manage his 'condition'

for that, lemme do a little recap / reminder;

following his accident, miguel has experienced a multitude of changes. one of the most prominent changes is that he's become an obligate carnivore / hypercarnivore if you will. which means, meat is his new bff - he'll crave the calories, he'll eat it cooked or even raw, especially if it placates his tendency to gnaw when starving. and when he does eat, he tears and swallows chunks - not really a chewer any longer.

whiiiich introduces a new issue; anything plant based? loses its appeal to him. it's a slow progression, too. he'd start with reducing portions. taking a bite or two. leaving the rest. until there's next to no greenery left on the plate, when he knows he needs the nutrients they provide.

and ooh, it's actually gets a level worse than that : )

not only does he stop eating vegetables, fruits, *maybe* fungai? idk? but wellll his own mutated body might even stop producing the important stuff like vitamin c, and things of that ilk ! so ... what's a hybrid to do? how's he gonna make up the difference and get the nutrients he needs? ( especially when you consider... whilst he doesn't eat often, due to a combination of altered metabolism and slowed digestion rate, he could eat and consume calories in the magnitude that could make a damn saiyan blush --)

but, even so, it won't make up for the deficiencies 😔 so what's a spooky spider lad to do?

Come up with a solution, duh!

Yesss, baby, we're talking supplementation! operating in a similar manner to a diabetic needing insulin, or someone with B12 deficiency, for the all important food stuffs that miguel has perhaps tried, and tried again to consume, he's gonna turn to science for a lending hand, load up on what's either missing from his diet now, or that which his body simply can't absorb any longer

And, in addition to this, these shots are important in another sense 👀

they help miguel to manage his spider tendencies

since the way i've approached this with my earlier hcs is, well, tl;dr my mig's human / spider dna isn't a 50/50 split, it's gradually veering more towards spider as the years pass

this means that, it's a bit of a perfect storm brewing; lack of nutrients + behaviours & tendencies that he is likely chronicling by the day is ... a recipe for trouble! i can bet that miguel by himself can ... manage / hold himself together ... to a point, but, to paraphrase a friendo; have you ever met a hangry person? there's a limit to everything!

and we've seen miguel breach that limit already, during the miles chase in atsv. if ya had a bingo card for just about the worst everything happening in a single day? that card probably got filled UP during that chase! 😔 perhaps stress also played as factor there was well - the dude's carrying a LOT on his shoulders!

anyyyway! back on topic! let's expand the supplementation too - let's also throw in some sort of hormones? i know this is a whole science in itself, and ain't scientist 🥹 so i'll leave this a bit more broad, and say that they also play a part in stabilising miguel, ground him, so he won't go chasing a kid across the city... .ahem 😔

leading on from this, though, i wanna add some last things here. i know, i'm... meandering here , but lemme say;

take note of the intensity of miguel's eye colouration!

r e d - sorry, but you're shocked, buddy, best of luck surviving 💀

scarlet / bright red - feeling aggro, but holding enough of himself together to not act on his impulses

garnet - the default, feeling spidery, but also feeling human as close to a harmonious state as he can manage for the most part

dark brown - the goal!👀this is potentially a state that achieved after he injects himself. it floods him with a calm like nothing else he's ever felt. it's when he feels the most human again, a memory that's easily forgotten when you've got fangs and shoot webs from the back of your hands!!!

and it's with this last point, with the brown eyes, that i wanna bring this home with the little ritual miguel develops; after takin an injection, he'll make a point of brewing the strongest cup of black coffee that he can manage. a rare treat these days for him... especially given that caffeine does not agree with spiders. 💀

so yeah!!! thanks for reading through this ! 👋

[pavlovianfuckery]

this is where i'd put my frankenstein joke IF I HAD ONE

MASTERLIST

if he wasn't so much fun we would not be having this problem, but alas he's just an all around delight, so ig i'm welcome and you're sorry

linky for the ao3-ly inclined: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56915101

3.6k of e-stim stuff and banter under the cut, you all know the drill, minors fuck all the way off etc etc

You can hear his annoyed grumbling as you round the corner, so rather than walk in as you had originally planned you stay back, watching through a crack in the door. The yellow light of the desk lamp lends a warmth to his skin, making him look almost alive as he rakes a hand through his hair. He makes an annoyed face at the laptop screen and for a minute you think he hasn't noticed you yet.

"Are you just gonna stand there and stare, or...?"

That's as close to an invitation that you're going to get so you step into the office, closing the heavy door behind you.

"Feel like taking a break?" Stepping behind the desk, you run your hands over his tense shoulders. Maybe your little scheme has decent timing, after all.

"It's a very tempting offer, but as you can see," he gestures to the stack of papers, piled high on the corner of the desk, then rubs his hands across his face, "I've kind of got a lot on my plate at the moment, doll. Rain check?"

"You're no fun," you pout. "Can't you come by my place after?" Leaning forward, you whisper in his ear in a sing-song voice, "I'll make it worth your while..." When he hesitates, you press a quick kiss to the nape of his neck, his pale hair tickling the tip of your nose as you pull his scent deep into your lungs. "You won't have to do any of the work, scouts honour."

He pulls away and looks over his shoulder at you, brow raised. "Since when were you ever a scout?"

"Since I was hoping that you'd be my guinea pig for an hour? Two, tops."

"You're not exactly selling it."

"It might be a little kinky..." You waggle your eyebrows at him, "You sure you're not at least a little curious?"

"Well, when you put it like that," he slaps the laptop closed and spins the chair around, grabbing your hips and pulling you closer. "I might be able to spare just an hour, if it's urgent."

"It really is."

⁂

He lets you lead him to the bedroom, and it should be nothing. It's not like you could actually hurt him even if you wanted to, but it almost feels like something approaching trust all the same, gossamer thin though it might be. It makes your heart skip a beat when you reach for his hand, and he doesn't shake it off. ‘It's nothing’, you keep telling yourself. For your sanity if nothing else, it needs to be nothing.

There's something almost endearing about the way he toes off his shoes and folds himself into a tailor sit on top of the covers. He stands out like an ink blot on your bed, all blacks and greys against the worn out coverlet with its faded flowers.

"You look good in my bed, you know." Sitting down next to him, you card your fingers through his hair, nails gently scratching his scalp.

"So, is stroking my ego part of your little experiment, or...?" He leans into your touch with a lopsided grin.

"No, but you can consider it bonus content, if you like."

"What if I've got something else for you to stroke?" He looks up at you through lowered lashes, probably aiming for coquettish but ending up closer to a leer.

"Funny you should say that, actually..."

"And here I thought we were a bit past hand stuff," he frowns, "have I severely overestimated our relationship here, or...?"

"The fucking cheek of you," you swat at his arm playfully and try not to dwell on the word ‘relationship’,"one of these days that mouth is going to get you in trouble."

"That a threat or a promise?" He leans in close and the look on his face is almost serious, making your stomach twist in knots.

"Could be both," you shrug, not meeting his eyes,"Keep teasing me and you might find out. But for now, just stay put." When he opens his mouth to no doubt argue, you put a finger to his lips. "Shut." And he doesn't say anything. What he does is smile and run the tip of his tongue over the pad of your finger in the most lewd way possible, staring you down the entire time. "You're just trying to wriggle out of being my obedient little guinea pig," you reluctantly pull away from his mouth,"aren't you?"

"You neglected to tell me the obedient part." Now it's his turn to pout, though it's not exactly convincing. "So what are you going to do, now that you've lured me here under false pretences?"

"If you can behave for more than seconds at a time, I'll show you." You lean over the side of the bed, feeling around for the storage box that you keep there. The box itself is easy enough to find, but the particular bag you have in mind, not so much.

"Who says I can't behave?" Whatever point he's trying to make goes up in smoke, because the words are barely out of his mouth before you can feel his hands cupping your ass, making you roll your eyes, not that he sees it. Finally managing to grab the bag you were looking for, you pull it up on the bed. You have a sneaking suspicion that he's never done as he's been told in his life, but rather than mentioning that you open the bag, sorting through the contents.

"I see you weren't kidding about turning me into a science experiment," he sniffs, picking the power box up and turning it in his hands. When it doesn't seem to contain any clues, he puts it back down.

"How about a deal?" You plug everything in, checking the connections as you go. "If you don't have a good time, I'll let you have your wicked way with me, however you want."

"That deal would probably work better if I wasn't already doing that on a semi-regular basis," he chuckles, shrugging his jacket off,"but I'll play."

"You're such a good sport, in fact that's one of the many things I like about you."

"Oh, so you like me, do you?" He uncrosses his legs and leans in close,"you like me," he continues in a sing-song voice, eyes flicking to your lips with a self-satisfied smile.

"How could I not? " You slide a finger under the hem of his t-shirt, making the soft fabric ride up, "you're not only good-looking, but so humble, too."

"And you're still into it," he grins and twists a strand of your hair between his fingers and gives it a soft tug, "I can tell."

His thin lips are still curved into a smile when he kisses you, perhaps even a shade softer than you'd been expecting. It makes your heart flutter against your ribcage in a futile little dance that keeps going even after you pull away.

"As much as I enjoy kissing you, that wasn't all I had planned for tonight, actually." You hook your hand in the tight waistband of his jeans and pull, "these are probably going to have to go."

"'Probably'?" The puzzled face he pulls has no right to be adorable, and yet.

"I mean, my plans did involve your cock, so..."

"Did they, now? Guess you better take them off, then."

While the thought of unwrapping him like a gift doesn't lack appeal, it's not exactly practical. The button pops open easily enough and the zipper slides open without a fight too, but that's about it.

"You could give me a hand, you know," grumbling as you get started on peeling the tight denim down.

"You did say this was an 'experiment', right?" He lifts his hips off the bed, apparently the only assistance he can be bothered with."If I interfere too much it might skew the results. Besides, maybe I like watching you struggle. "

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me." You manage to get the jeans down his thighs, but only barely. "You know what?" You throw your hands up in defeat, leaving the thick fabric bunched around his knees. Pulling his boxers down as well, you decide to leave him like that for now. At least he won't be able to run off in case this doesn't work out. "I can work with this, I think."

"Not sure if I should feel insulted or flattered, here." He leans back on his elbows, watching you.

"You could be a bit more cooperative, you know." You stick one of the adhesive pads down on the top of your wrist, making sure that it's secure.

"But making you work for it is much more fun," he pauses, then goes on to add, "for me, anyway."

There are a few places you could stick the second pad, but in the end you settle for about an inch above the base of his cock.

"So..." you settle in next to him, sliding your wired up hand around his length, making sure to get as much contact as possible. He's lovely and smooth in your hand as you stroke him, keeping the touch light. "Let's give this a try, see if it'll do anything."

It's simple to operate the box one-handed, so you turn it on and set it to a constant channel, then slowly start turning up the power. "Let me know when you can feel it." Increasing the power one level at a time, you lean in for a kiss. The way he licks into your mouth is eager, bordering on impatient as he pushes his hardening cock against your hand.

"Try to stay still," you warn, trying not to giggle, "if I slip I might zap you, and I don't think that'd be much fun for either of us."

As it turns out, he actually can do as he's told, because his hips still almost immediately. Not sure how, or even if, this will work since he's not precisely alive, you keep pressing the + button every few seconds.

"That tingles," he gasps and buries his face in the crook of your neck with a breathy little laugh, "what is that?"

"You like it?" For a minute you just hold him, letting him twitch against your buzzing palm.

"Jury's still out, but..." he trails off as you slide your thumb over the tip of his cock, changing the path of the current. While waiting for him to make up his mind, you keep doing it, feeling him get wetter with every swipe. Back and forth, back and forth, not trying to rush.

"That's," he shivers, voice catching, "oh, that's good."

That's a decent result, considering how you weren't sure if it would work at all.

"Good enough that I can try something else?" While this had started out as a go-with-the-flow kind of thing, you had a pretty good idea of what you really wanted to do.

"In a minute, just...don't stop, not yet." It's not exactly begging as he lays next to you, but it'll do. And it's hard to resist when he asks so nicely. Besides, it gives you a bit of time to 'experiment', even if it's just an excuse to get to touch him some more. Sliding your hand over his shaft in a twisting motion seems to work pretty well for a start, because he keeps straining against the bunched up fabric trapping his legs and making encouraging little noises that go straight to your core. Careful not to lose contact completely, you slide just the tips of your fingers over him, the reduced area making the stimulation skyrocket.

"Still good?" When he doesn't respond you let go of him almost completely, leaving just the pad of one finger still touching him, rubbing across his slit. You can almost see the current shooting straight down his cock and if he was alive it might have been pretty uncomfortable, but if his reaction is anything to go by his every nerve-ending is lighting up like a christmas tree. "Hmm?"

"Fuck," he grits out, shivering again."That's intense, you should probably..."He frowns, biting his lip, "yeah, you gotta stop, or I'm..."

Rather than cutting the evening short you turn the power off.

"I'm just going to," you reach over and peel the pad off of him, "get that. You good?"

"Just give me a minute, doll. " For a moment he just lays there, sucking down air he doesn't really need, and then he laughs. "You didn't have to take it off, you know."

"It's fine, I mostly wanted to see if it would even work on you." Removing your own pad, you slide the hand up his shirt, resting it on his chest. You can feel his heart thump-thumping against your palm, maybe even getting close to 20 beats per minute. "I have other plans for you, if you're up for it."

"What kind of plans?" He looks pretty silly like this, pants around his knees and hair standing on end. He doesn't seem to really care, but he finally kicks jeans off, discarding them on the floor.

"Wait and see." You rummage through the bag, gathering up the bits and pieces you're going to need. Not everything you pick up gets his stamp of approval, though.

"Condoms, really?" He huffs and makes a grimace of distaste.

"Give me a chance here, will you? This'll be good, I promise." He doesn't seem convinced but he lets it be, for now. "I need to do a bit of setting up for this, think you can be patient with me for a minute?"

"Are you saying that I'm not usually?" He watches as you snap on a pair of nitrile gloves and get to work on straightening out the cables that keep wanting to tangle, ignoring his blatant fishing. Picking up a partly insulated rubber ring, you give it a little wave in the air.

"Does your generous mood extend to this, or am I pushing my luck here?"

"Obedient guinea pig, remember?" He spreads his legs, offering himself up and nearly making you blush, "knock yourself out." The stretchy ring goes over him fairly easily, but he still gives a little hiss as you slide it over his balls. "Careful with the goods, there."

"I think you'll live." After making sure it's nice and snug, you scoot back to the edge of the bed. "This will be easier if you sit here, actually."

For once he doesn't question you, swinging his bare legs over the edge of the bed.

"Good boy." You kiss the corner of his mouth, then get back to work.

The look on his face as you drop to your knees between his legs is nothing short of indecent.

"Now this, I really like," he drawls,"you look good on your knees."

"Keep the flattery coming and who knows, maybe I'll get on my knees for you more often." The flattery is actually entirely optional, but he doesn't need to know that. The pale skin of his thighs is very tempting, and you can't quite resist the urge to press a few kisses to each side as you set the rest up. The new pad is a bit smaller and slimmer, making it easy to stick it down on top of his cock right behind the head, but when you rip the foil packaging open and get the condom out, he pulls a face again.

"What do you even need that for?" He even has the gall to roll his eyes at you, "It's not like I can knock you up."

"That's true," You nod, get a pair of scissors out and snip the tip of the condom off," but without it, this will be like french kissing a bug zapper, so if it's all the same to you..."

"Alright, I think I get where you're going with this." He lets you roll the offending rubber over him, double checking as you go that everything is connected properly.

"Just a few dabs of this and we should be good to go." Grabbing the bottle of conductive gel you dispense a decent sized blob and apply it under the open part of the ring, making sure there are no dry spots. "Now, let's see..." You turn the box back on and set it to a rolling wave pattern, slowly increasing the power. "I don't want to turn this up too high, so..."

It only takes a few more button presses for his cock to stir, throbbing slightly in time to the ebb and flow of the current.

"Huh," he squirms a bit, fidgeting. "That's different."

"Good different or bad different?" You turn the power up a few more levels and slide your free hand around his cock, giving it a gentle squeeze before cupping his balls, covering the exposed part of the ring with a gloved finger just in case. He watches you with heavy-lidded eyes as you run your lips over his leaking tip. "I want to suck you like this," you bat your eyelashes up at him innocently, enjoying the way his eyes go dark at the words. "Can I?"

"You don't need to ask for permission, you know." His knees spread just a fraction wider, his full attention fixed on your lips.

"You like it when I do, though." It's very distracting to have his cock bobbing right in front of your face like this.

"Guilty as charged."

It's a bit different, giving him head like this. Not that it's usually a chore, far from it, but with the machine doing a lot of the work you're free to just enjoy the way he twitches and throbs between your lips. Gently swirling your tongue over the exposed head has him groaning, tangling a hand in your hair.

You're not delusional enough to think that you might get anything like a 'please' out of him but the noises he's making are almost as good, and with one hand on the controls it's easy to keep him squirming until you decide to stop. Not that that's going to happen anytime soon because he looks delicious like this, knuckles white as he grips the covers and just barely stopping himself from thrusting all the way down your throat. It's a dizzying feeling, being able to reduce him to this desperate thing, his usual tight control slowly crumbling as you bring him closer and closer to the edge. When you slide your tongue against the sensitive underside of his tip and give him a few slow sucks, the sound falling from his slack mouth can only generously be called anything other than a whimper.

"Keep doing that, fuck..." His head falls back, the pale column of his neck almost too lovely as he gives a throaty little laugh, sliding a hand around the back of your head. "Don't stop," he moans, "don't you fucking dare."

His grip is soft enough that you could probably pull away if you wanted, but the point of this isn't to leave him hanging, at least not any more than you already have. Not that he's ever been anything close to shy with you, but when he pulses on your tongue and finally spills it might be the most noise you've ever heard him make, or close to it. The way he floods your mouth has you struggling not to choke and for a few moments you're stuck between turning the power off and having to focus on swallowing fast enough to keep up.

In the end you don't quite manage either, leaving you with come dripping down your chin and him trembling from over-stimulation, his legs nearly snapping together like a steel trap. Then he's pushing you away, back arching off the bed, and for a minute you consider leaving the machine on for just a little while longer. But ultimately you decide against it and cut the power, leaving him splayed out on the covers. Removing everything is a delicate affair as he shivers under your touch, but too sated to move yet.

Watching him come down you try to clean yourself up a bit, and you think that there is possibly something to be said about self respect, or perhaps your apparent lack of it. You had known from the start that getting involved with him in any way was a terrible idea and that it would end in tears, at least on your part. But that doesn't mean it's any easier to resist, especially when he's stretched out next to you all spent and relaxed. Vulnerable. Even though you know damn well that all of this is nothing, means less than nothing, your heart still swells until it feels like you might choke on that, too. It's a melting, humiliating thing, but if he'd ask you'd let him crack your ribcage open and lick it out of you like so much molten marrow.

"Not that this wasn't fun, but," he rakes a hand through his hair, oblivious. Or maybe not, who knows. "I should probably get back to work."

"Yeah, probably." He's always quick at getting dressed at your place, so fast that he could probably teach a class on how to slip into skinny jeans in under ten seconds. It would maybe be funnier if he wasn't nearly always so eager to leave. Rather than wallowing in self-pity, you busy yourself with tidying up, tossing the relevant things into a 'to clean' pile. "I'll see you later?"

"Sure," he grabs his jacket and then he's swanning out the door, calling over his shoulder, "I'll call you."

[koorinokujira]

Ok this is just an idea, but who do you think would suit the trope s/he (reader) fell first, and s/he fell too late? it's just such an angsty idea i can't comprehend this gosh 😭😭

Oh, such drama! Such angst! But of course, I'll gladly deliver, Anon. Now, this actually made me think pretty hard, because let's be real- most of these people are probably very touch starved, because, you know, war. But I eventually came to the conclusion that it could be a few of our "less approachable/romanceable" leaders. So, our dearest Magoichi, Mitsunari... and honestly, I also decided to include Shingen (not saying he's unapproachable, we love our warlord dad). I chose him because he has great angst potential. So, happy reading! Well... not really happy, but hopefully enjoyable nonetheless.

💔 Too Little, Too Late - SB Imagines 💔

Ever since you met the one you fell so hard for, you felt nothing but affection. Sure, there were flaws, but you were willing to accept them, or try to help fix them if they could be fixed. You were loyal, devoted, and always willing to lend a hand. Hoping that maybe, just maybe, your efforts would be noticed and your love reciprocated. But it wasn't. Not until it was too late... but you aren't the one left to pick up the pieces.

💔 Magoichi 💔

Magoichi was always... fond of you. She didn't even realize it herself for the longest time- after all, relationships weren't exactly her forte. She had the Saika Faction to run, and even when she had time for herself between all those battles and price negotiations, she preferred to remain in solitude. Alone, as she was supposed to be. In her mind, at least.

She found you a bit strange, perhaps. Too good to be true. When she gave an order, you never hesitated and went for it. When she scolded you, you never complained and used it to become an even better soldier. Your skills with a rifle also weren't anything to scoff at. Really, you were a model member of the Faction. Always there, always willing to lend a hand. She appreciated it, as any superior would, though she rarely ever said anything out loud. Actions speak louder than words, after all. And she couldn't play favorites, nor allow herself to be anything but the strong leader everyone needs her to be. She had a legacy to carry.

But now, things are different. It all started innocently enough- she's been getting reports here and there that no one could find you. Of course, you always made sure to have all your tasks completed before sneaking out who knows where. And it happened only every once in a while, so there was no reason to worry. But slowly, it became more and more frequent, to the point where she just had to find out what was going on. Why would you sneak off like that? You were always more than content to spend your free time either alone or with the others- the Saika Faction was like family to you.

She feels your absence most of all, she realizes as she watches you leave from the encampment again, thinking that no one can see. It was like things got... grey, whenever you left. Dull, without that trademark friendly grin you gave her whenever she sent you out to do one thing or another. The way you'd pat your fellow warriors on the back and gave them uplifting words when they needed it. And the way your eyes softened when you talked to her- well, there weren't enough words to describe the feeling.

She hates this, hates this realization. That someone somehow bypassed the walls she built around her heart, and she didn't even notice. And she hates it even more at this moment, because the very reason she plans to follow you now is to check if you're not compromising the Faction somehow. Why else would you sneak off? The chances of you being a spy are small, of course... but never zero, and she owes the Faction at least this much.

Screw it all.

Magoichi makes sure to follow you at a good distance- your senses are not to be scoffed at, of course. You lead her across various paths, through a small forest, over a wooden bridge that's barely stable to walk on, and then... you get to a farm. A village is nearby, too. Everything around it has seen better days, but clearly, the place is still being tended to. There are crops, and Magoichi swears she hears some animals in the distance. But that's not what she focuses on, no.

She focuses on him. The kind looking farmer who looks to be only a bit older than you. You chat and laugh, with you giving him the same look you used to give her once upon a time. And he looks at you the same way. There is a certain... tenderness in the way you move, and the leader of the Saika Faction feels a strange ache in her chest.

You look happy.

And she has to turn away, feeling like a fool for the first time in a long while. Of course she missed all the signs, all the times you passed by her and "accidentally" brushed fingers with her, all the times you made a point to stay nearby after your tasks were finished. She never reciprocated... and so you eventually found someone who cares about you as much as you do about them.

It is a bittersweet feeling, this love. She looks at you one last time before heading back towards the hideout. It hurts badly, to finally let down her guard only to realize it was for nothing. But at the same time... it is strangely reassuring to know that despite her harsh exterior, someone still developed feelings for her, fleeting as they may have been. She knows they were true, this wasn't like that foolish vagabond that pestered her for affection. And she hopes that maybe, just maybe...

...there will be another who will disarm her with such ease. She will be ready this time.

💔 Mitsunari 💔

It's all so... stupid.

The war, the way he has to constantly fight to be respected, the fact that every single day he feels like he loses himself more and more... he hates it. He wants to scream, but how many times did he do that already? How many times did he lose his temper when someone even dared to think of going against him? And where has that gotten him? What was it all for?

Nothing.

If only he had a shoulder to cry on right now. Someone to tell him that all hope is not yet lost. He used to have that. But he took it for granted, and now it's gone. He would like to believe otherwise, of course, but as he stares back at your grave, he is reminded of the painful reality he's found himself in.

He knew these feelings before you died, of course. The deaths of Lord Hideyoshi and Lord Hanbe were more painful than a blade in his heart. The grief and thirst for revenge was what propelled him forward since then. And he'd keep going until he took Tokugawa's head, and everything would be right in the world. It was terrible, painful... but also simple. To him, at least.

But this... this is different. It started with rage, like before, but then it changed into something new. This pain, it's quiet. Instead of a raging tempest, it's a gentle breeze, bringing back the sweet smell of what he once held in his grasp. A soft requiem instead of a battlecry. And somehow, that makes his heart bleed more profusely than anything else before.

It was spring when he first met you, he remembers. He didn't really have time to appreciate the blooming flowers, though. His lord was already dead by that point, and it was all he could think of. And then you showed up, dragging him back to reality by force. You weren't like the others, walking on eggshells as to not upset him even further, no. You fearlessly locked eyes with him, introduced yourself and told him it was an honor to be serving in his army now. He was upset that someone interrupted his moment of quiet, of course, but something compelled him not to unsheathe his blade this time. He still remembers how he just grunted in annoyance and dismissed you without a word. Why even bother?

But you were hard at work, nonetheless. Fighting, doing as you're told, even showing an aptitude for strategy. With each battle won, you rose through the ranks, until he had to see you basically every single day. He would never admit it, but he found your presence refreshing. You were honest - too honest at times - and he never felt like you had some ulterior motive, unlike with a certain someone that acted as his right hand. Terribly stubborn, too; once he showed that he at least tolerates your presence, you refused to leave his side, taking it upon yourself to guard him.

No matter how much he ranted about how he wants to kill Ieyasu, no matter how unfriendly or harsh he was, no matter how much he was falling apart and being a terrible leader, you stuck by. Watching, listening. And more often than not, you had something to say, too. Usually something uplifting. Oh, how he hated you for not letting him wallow in misery back then. How you tried to get him to move on and fight for something else than revenge, that he had potential to even surpass those he missed so dearly. How dare you say such things?

And so he constantly dismissed you, belittled you for your naive hopes for a better tomorrow, for trusting in him so blindly. However, that was just his fear talking. The idea of having hope and it instantly getting shattered by this war, by his enemy, seemed much worse than the pain he was already feeling. He knew that pain, at least.

Mitsunari kept refusing to acknowledge you, despite the mounting feeling in his subconscious that he cared. And before he knew it... you sacrificed yourself. For a wounded brother in arms, despite being wounded yourself. You bought him time and lost all of your own by that deed. He wasn't even there to see it... he just saw your body getting carried into the castle and heard the story from the other soldiers.

Only when he picked up your bloodied blade that day did he realize how much he's really been holding back. He didn't just care, he... he loved. And it wasn't just about the comfort you provided, it was about... well, you. Your smile, the way you'd tap the hilt of your blade whenever you were thinking, the entertaining anecdotes you told him about the time you were still training as a warrior. Oh, and rain, you loved the rain. You'd stand in the middle of the courtyard during thunderstorms with the biggest smile on your face and come inside only after you looked like someone threw you into a lake, shaking with the cold. It makes you feel alive, you told him. Like you can finally breathe.

He kept that blade, using it instead of his own since then. The blade is a warrior's soul, after all. But it doesn't make it much better. He still feels that ache in his chest, even though it's been months. When Lord Hideyoshi died, he could feel angry, he had something to work towards. But there's no Ieyasu Tokugawa to blame this time. Only a battered blade of someone dear, a heart full of regrets and affections unsaid...

...and the flowers he could only place near your headstone now.

💔 Shingen 💔

Hindsight is 20/20, as they say. Not that the Lord of the Takeda clan would know such a phrase. But that doesn't stop him from feeling the crushing weight of its meaning. He's not used to such emotions anymore. When he loses someone, he's sad for a while, and then he moves on. As a leader, he can't afford to dwell on such things. He needs to move forward, lead his clan and help it thrive.

Except this time, he can't seem to shake it off.

And so here he is again, on the battlefield where it began and ended in what seemed like seconds. There's still a few places where grass hasn't really grown back yet after the ordeals of battle, but nature has mostly reclaimed it. There's a soft breeze blowing, and the sky is fairly clear. It's... peaceful. And yet, there's an ache in his heart that not even nature's beauty can cure.

As he sits down into the soft grass, he can't help but think back on the first time you two met. It was thanks to Yukimura, he remembers. You and his young mentee had become friends, and so it didn't take long for you to be dragged over to meet the Lord. Yukimura ranted and raved about how amazing of a fighter you are, while you just politely stood behind him. He remembers how respectful you were the entire time. And it didn't take too long for him to recognize your loyal, honorable ways, either. You were a great soldier.

But there were things he didn't notice fast enough. Like how your clear, formal tone started to soften whenever he discussed strategy with you. How the first thing you did when coming back from battle was to go see him and report personally, even if anyone else could have done it. And that one night when he couldn't sleep and found you in the courtyard, staring wistfully at the stars. You gave him such a kind smile that day, and invited him to join you. So he did. And it was a night that brought great comfort to his weary mind.

Why did he take it for granted?

Time went on, and the day of that fateful battle came. It seemed just like any other that the Takeda clan faced. Armed with both wits and weapons, the troops were ready. Yukimura was getting riled up, while Sasuke dropped his casual attitude and braced himself for the upcoming fight. And you stood proudly right at the front, ready to break through the enemy lines. However, no one expected how wrong it could get.

An ambush. They tore into the left flank, and the situation turned an organized battle into a chaotic bloodbath. There was confusion, screaming, and soldiers were dropping left and right. And as Lord Shingen tried to get a hold of the situation again, he didn't even notice the bow aimed at his back. But you did...

...and the arrow that should have hit him hit you instead.

He won't forget that terrible noise, followed by the thump of your body dropping on the ground. Seconds turned into eternity as he spun around and saw you, clutching the arrow in your chest. He didn't even notice how your fellow soldiers went after the bowman right after as he knelt down. The world seemed to go silent, interrupted only by the sound of you struggling to breathe. There were tears in your eyes and your hands trembled like they never did before. But it wasn't fear of death he saw in your eyes. It was regret.

And then you spoke. It was hard to understand... but he managed. You finally confessed. How much you admired him, and how his very presence made your days brighter. How you loved all his little quirks, and just... everything about him. How much it hurt that you were so close and yet so far. And then you just... apologized and begged him to forgive you for such dishonorable thoughts. But that if you were to die that day, you wanted to die with nothing left unsaid.

He remembers how your hands were still warm when he gently took them into his, realizing with horror that... he didn't want to let you go either. When did you become so important to him, and more importantly, why didn't he realize it sooner?! In his mind, he cursed whatever god made him so oblivious.

But on the outside, he simply shook his head.

"There is nothing to apologize for. I couldn't stop such a feeling even if I wanted to. But I don't. So please... keep it close, until we meet again. And then let me share it."

He still doesn't know how he spoke so calmly. Perhaps he hoped that those tears would stop running down your face, or that the wound in your chest would close with his comforting words. But all he got was a look of relief, before you took a last, shaky breath.

He looks up at the clouds lazily drifting above him, letting the memories flow. He hears birds chirping in the distance, and a white butterfly lands on the nearby flowers.

If only you could enjoy this scenery with him.

---

Whew, finally finished it! Many apologies for the delay. I felt super burnt out because of schoolwork, and these imagines gave me a bit of trouble.

Originally, Motonari was supposed to be here too (so the stories would be two scenarios where the reader lives, and two where they due), but after I wrote almost a 1000 words, I decided I hate it and that I need to practice writing him more before I do any scenarios with him lol. Our cold-hearted tactician will get his spotlight later, don't worry!

I have two more requests lined up right now, so I'll get to work again tomorrow.

Thanks for reading, and as always...

...have a spectacular day!

[mehidktbh]

I saw your bo Sinclair x reader about having a big chest I also from this problem 🧍🏾‍♀️ so could you do another one with Thomas Hewitt cause I love him so much 👉🏾👈🏾 also I don't mind a nsfw version as well 👀

also THE PAIN OF PUTTING ON A BUTTON UP SHIRT 😮‍💨

Thank you 💓💞💞💞💞💞

Pairing: Thomas Hewitt x Fem!Reader

Warning 18+: Hoyt being rude and a jerk, SMUT/NSFW, mentions rude/sexual comments made towards y/n, protective!Thomas, fluff and a whole lot of Thomas tho

A/N: PLEASE FORGIVE ME!! OMG, HOW AM I JUST REALISING THAT THIS HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY INBOX FOREVER!? I'M SO SORRRRY! I feel so bad 😔

SFW

- You go perfectly with Thomas Hewitt, I mean he's got one big fat ass and you having a big chest only glues the puzzle together. He probably likes it knowing you guys share something in common or at least to him.

- The first time he ever sees you is probably the only time he's ever tried to be respectful. Your huffing and puffing your lungs out as you try to catch your breath from running away from him. Only when he watches from the corner does his eyes drift down to your semi-seethrough shirt.

- Even when your tied up and thrown down into the basement, huddled in the corner does he inspect you more. Getting up close and personal to you, practically breathing down your neck as he smells you. He wishes he could bury his face in between your breasts, he's so close he can smell the sweat in between them.

- On the topic of him wanting to smother you. He'd openly be open to laying on you any chance he got, from his bedroom to the basement he only wants his head on your breasts. Sometimes he can't sleep without being up close and personal to you, he's so needy.

- But as much as he wants it to be only him interested in you, it's more different. Since the day he met you someone else had their eyes on you, from morning to night he'd catch out of the corner of his eyes Hoyt staring.

- Hoyt would either be reading the newspaper or helping you with your chores. But actually, he'd be peaking over his newspaper to watch you as you ate in the morning, coming out at just the right time to lend a hand. It would make Thomas feel insecure and mad, on one hand, what happens if you fell for Hoyt. Or that maybe Hoyt would do something to make you feel uncomfortable, the list goes on and on,

- Sometimes you'd come to him sad and uncomfortable, telling Thomas about what happened and how Hoyt would say something inappropriate or do something inappropriate. But you bet your ass that Thomas has your back, Thomas wouldn't mind getting mad at Hoyt and showing him who's boss.

- Thomas loved you for you and was there when you had insecure, he'd kiss you all over and personally make time just for you... ;)

NSFW

- It's not a secret that Thomas would have a soft spot for you in bed, he's never had experience before in bed and only had the 'talk' once. He was practically clueless, who knew having you there to teach him was more than fantastic.

- Sometimes he'd feel so taken away when you guys would finish, he'd be there laying by your side or on top of you watching as your chest fell and rose. It only made him crave more, the thought of going to bed every night bothered him when he worked almost every day.

- He wouldn't be able to focus on working while he had an erection, trying his best to calm himself down or hide it from any passing people.

- But when you came down to check up on him you'd almost instantly get thrown against the wall or on the table, quickly pulling his pants down as he continues to trust into you. (Quickes aren't uncommon <3)

- Even in bed Thomas would be gripping your shirt, trying his hardest to rip it off or get the stupid buttons undone. His hands would grope you almost every time you guys had sex, from licking to sucking on your nipples he'd do it almost every time.

- Mostly every time you'd end up breathless and tired, his cum all over your breasts and some bruises or hickeys left from where he couldn't control himself. But he'd come in to clean you off, a nice warm rag as he gently cleans your body. The rag wipes your breasts as he tries to clean up what he left behind. (Sometimes it would lead to only another round...)

[pilots-and-protons]

Since I am constantly seeing discourse about the subject (especially in regards to thoughts I've expressed in my fanfic), I want to explain my opinion on some things. But I'm going to ignore the crazy sci-fi and break it down into more a understandable context.

Imagine you have a co-worker. He's kind of a jerk and he's said some dumb shit, and you rightfully write him off for it. Unfortunately, your new friend is also his best friend, so the three of you kind of hang out sometimes. And you still work together. He's good at his job, but you think his personality leaves a lot to be desired. At best, you're acquaintances, at worst you're less-than-cordial colleagues.

Then you get into some trouble, are in a bad place, and he ends up unintentionally being on the receiving end of you spilling your guts about personal baggage. He can't relate exactly, but he makes sure you know that he sympathizes, and doesn't make fun of you or bring up how vulnerable you were. Your secret is safe with him, which seems counterintuitive to his character. He's actually rather nice throughout the whole incident. So okay, maybe your friend has a reason for liking this guy. After that you work together some more, the three of you, even collaborating on some big special project. You warm up to him (he's actually a lot nicer than he initially seemed, once he stops trying to pretend like he's hot shit).

You might even tentatively consider him a friend. Not a close friend, but a friend. You'll eat lunch together at work; he'd probably give you a ride if you needed one. But there's a difference between work friends and real friends. You've been treated pretty poorly by people in the past, and you're not just going to trust any random person for the really important stuff. Good friends, best friends would lend you their car. They'd bring you soup if you were sick, listen to your problems, keep your deepest secrets, take care of you - especially when you can't take care of yourself. He's also been watching you, trying to flirt and has subtly asked you out a couple times. You think this guy isn't so bad, but you don't trust him - not like that.

And then you're with some people at a gathering and suddenly, you've been drugged. Everything is hot and fuzzy and all you can think about is picking up someone and screwing their brains out. And there he is, your sort-of-a-friend. You spend the night throwing yourself at him - touching him, pushing him against the wall, practically trying to tear his clothes off. All you can think is why not? He's easy, he's got a reputation - and obviously you're not thinking clearly because of the drugs.

Except instead of hauling you off to some room, he pushes your hands away - says that you're sick, you need to go home. He calls you a cab, but when he sees the state you're in, he climbs in with you and tells the driver your address. You're trying to get into his lap, insisting that you want this, that whatever you've said before about his advances aren't true. You're so doped up and out of your mind, even you aren't sure if these are lies or the truth. And for a minute, he gives in when you kiss him - he's kissing you back. But he stops, despite your protests, despite the fact that things he's said have you sure that he wants what you're offering. Instead, he gets you home, makes sure you've got water and something for a hangover. He gets your shoes off so you're comfortable, but tucks you into bed fully-clothed. He calls your mutual friend to check up on you in the morning in case you're too sick and need help. Then he leaves.

How would that not change your perspective? This is someone you thought was only a surface level work friend, someone you weren't sure you could trust. Then he took care of you, kept you safe, made sure you were ok when you were vulnerable, and stopped you from doing something you'd regret. Suddenly this guy went from a "sure I'll spot you five bucks for a coffee" friend to, "let me hold you hair back and bring you tea while you're sick" friend.

That is how I see B'Elanna's view of Tom after "Blood Fever". I can't imagine a scenario like this that doesn't leave your perceptions of a person fundamentally changed - for the better. Yes, she was embarrassed, and yes it was a violating experience. But honestly, I would have thought that anger would be aimed more at Vorik (even if it wasn't his fault), because he's the one who forced all of this onto B'Elanna in the first place. And from what we know of B'Elanna's struggle with vulnerability, it makes more sense to me that her embarrassment would be aimed inward, because she tried to force herself on Tom and is constantly worried about the "Klingon" aspects of herself being "too much" for other people.

So yes, I stand by my headcanon that B'Elanna does have a "silver lining" takeaway from the whole fiasco - she sees Tom in a drastically different and better light, and appreciates what he did for her (for the latter, she even says as much at the end of the episode).

[necesito-mas-cafe]

Good Omens 2 Spoilers

This is all me being absolutely normal about it.

I need everyone to know that I don't speak English, I just went through all this through the translator and I don't have the strength in me to correct it. It's three o'clock in the bloody morning and I barely finished the last chapter I wrote this.

The second season of Good Omens ripped me apart from the inside out. I saw absolutely nothing before the premiere, neither the trailer nor any post about it, I didn't even stop for the theories (well, I did a little) and the fanarts.

And my God.

I'm fucking crying and I don't know if it's the good way or the bad way.

Aziraphael and Crowley if they knew each other before they fell 😭😭, they were friends who hung out. Aziraphael apparently misses those times a lot. Crowley is so cute in this, like, I legitimately feel like I could sit down with him and have a lively conversation that doesn't involve alcohol or dolphins.

(Also, the scene where Crowley covers Aziraphael with his wing from the meteor shower (what were those things???) made me squeal with the same energy as a little girl when her parents tell her to buy her favorite ice cream).

Aziraphael is apparently a landlord??? like, wtf (And Crowley lives in his fucking car with two (2) boxes of plants, lol). I really liked Maggie and Nina, although I feel sorry for Nina and the whole thing with her (ex)partner (although it's also pretty obvious that the chick was kind of intense).

Crowley going back to the bookstore after his fight with Zira (and his run-in with Beelzebub) to protect him is very 😭💚💚. Crowley has actually been helping him since time immemorial (and wouldn't it be a happier world if he could continue to do so?).

The whole street probably thinks Mr. Fell has weird fetishes, just imagine the rumours.

It's fun to think about how Miguel got a desk based on Gabriel saying he had one.

Crowley suffers directly for lending his precious car to Zira, and he still does it because he loves it. (Also, Muriel is just too adorable in all of this, dammit, I want to give her hot chocolate and a pat on the head for her good work 🤧).

How come Gabriel and Beelzebub developed their bloody romance before the beings that were rightfully "running around" for six thousand years????? It's the funniest and most pathetic (for my ineffable (😭😭😭) husbans) I've ever seen. It is also sweetness that rots teeth).

Crowley's angel costume is fucking hilarious.

After the whole climax is resolved (I'm not commenting on it too much, I'm still processing it) Crowley finally gets up the nerve to tell Aziraphael his feelings (with a lot of help) but is interrupted by Zira, who (dramatically a bit) told Crowley that he could return him to when they were both happy together, like angels, in heaven, which shows us that even though Crowley is Crowley, he prefers the No-fallen-angel-Crowley in order to fulfill his perfect fantasy. And yet, after that, Crowley confesses to Aziraphael, offering to stay together, just the two of them, on his own side. Azira can't accept that, and Crowley can't accept Azira's offer, and after a kiss (which felt like a stab to my heart) they went their separate ways.

AND END

I'M YELLING TOO MUCH

I don't know how to feel about it; my expectations for their relationship was that they would hold hands, not that.

The ending is so perfect and yet so fucking painful 😭.

I need a 3rd damn season (or not, I really (very painfully) liked the ending it had, though the whole second coming thing in the finale has me 👀 if you know what I mean).

[squadron-of-damned]

Gamt :)

A quote of them that you remember

A childhood headcanon

Sexuality hc!

How do you think they were as a kid? (Like, were they shy, noisy, wild, etc)

The most unnecessary thing they ever did?

How do you think they would be as a parent? (and if they are a parent, how do you think they would be if they weren't?)

Future headcanon

What do you think is a secret they have that they never told anyone?

When do you think they were being "themselves" the most?

Gant! :)

I shall go with the classic: "There are only three people I watch out for: Me, Myself, and I." But the actual 'quote' I remember being most impactful is just when he stands there like this

for several seconds before the text starts running. The ultimate "..."

He had (or maybe still has) a brother, Norm, with whom he very much does not get along. Not as in that they hurt each other, but ever since they were kids they had vastly different views on the world. Of the two of them, Damon was the nice/kind one. As for himself, he was the kind of "I will do a Thing just to see what happens", but he didn't do many Things, because msot of the time he was able to very well reach the logical conclusion of what would happen. So it was more along the lines of "Will everyone actually evacuate orderly as trained if the fire alarm sounds?" (answer: No) and not "What's going to happen if I tear a bugs' legs off/dissect a live worm/etc.?" (6 yo Damon didn't know that the proper word for opening up a living being is "vivisection" and not "dissection", which is reserved for the deceased.)

He is definitely aromantic, and either asexual (sex-positive) or pansexual who doesn't really care for the attraction much. Damon will have sex when he feels like it with the first willing person with whom he thinks it's going to be good.

I am undecided between "manipulating Lana by threatening to reveal her little sister to be a murderer" and "playing the organ so loud that it rendered people temporarily deaf". Leaning towards the organ thing, honestly. For Lana he had a solid reason.

He would be very much a "let's talk about this" parent. Not the type to get angry, but also if you caused yourself a problem (especially if daddy Damon told you not to do the thing), he would not lend a helping hand, at all. Also the kid would get introduced to baby Franziska, Daddy would insist you are best friends, and let Fran do most of the "parenting". You'd grow up fine, but plenty of times you'd look back at your early life and suddenly realise "huh, that was kind of fucked up." Where 'that' would be things like getting a tutorial how to do drugs and not get caught, unarmed and armed self-defense, how to drive your colleague up the wall just by existing, and so on. Your teen friends would think he is cool in that laid back way, and after they'd leave, he'd say "honestly I hoped you know how to keep yourself in a decent company, but I can't be right all the time".

After his prison sentence is over (he had a good case and a good defense), he gets hired by a small café the woner of which had done some prison time too and knows how hard it is to get back on your feet with 'murder' or 'manslaughter' in your CV. It's supposed to be a temporary thing, but Damon finds out he is fascinated what kind of fucked up orders people are able to make and willingly drink (unicorn caramel decaf mocaccino).

Additional future headcanon: While still in prison, his assigned psychologist/therapist talked to him precisely once and after ten minutes concluded: "No, I really can't work with you. You know the textbook answers, you can improvise a whole new personality. I am good, but not good enough to work with that. And I can't tell when you are honest." "You are probably the first person who could tell. Have a nice one, doc, I'll send a word if I need you, ey?" And then they never talked again.

I ultimately choose to believe that Damon knew precisely what Blaise Debeste had been up to since day 1, and the whole chokehold he was holding the Prosecutors' Office in via Lana was directly to counter that as much as possible.

I honestly think that Damon figured out early on that "being himself" unnerves people greatly and people are horrible to work with when they are that kind of nervous. He had the set of various personas, the larger-than-life friendly one, the threatening one... He was himself basically only when he was overlooking a crime scene and in his head there were patterns flashing back and fro as he analyzed the situation.

[celestial-thoughts]

lend a hand

Pairing: Platonic Rhea & Shayna

Summary: Rhea has a proposition for Dakota. But she needs some help working out the details first.

Word count: 1.0k

Warnings: referenced sexual content.

Author’s note: set prior to "caught in your (prism) trap." Big thanks to the anon who sparked the inspiration for this one!

"I need a favor." The words leave Rhea's mouth before she can second guess herself.

Shayna sets her water bottle aside. "What's up?" she asks from where she's seated across from Rhea as the two friends sit on the mat in Shayna's home gym, recovering from their workout.

Rhea feels her stomach twist. Part of her wonders if this is really a good idea. But Shayna is one of her best friends. They trust each other with their lives. And if it weren't for Shayna's help and advice time and time again, Rhea wouldn't be asking for this favor at all.

So she takes a deep breath. "I need help figuring out how to do the prism trap submission hold without actually causing any pain," she says.

"I mean, I'm happy to help you," Shayna replies. "But wouldn't it be easier to practice with Dakota? She's probably easier to do it on."

"That's the thing," Rhea explains. "It's a surprise for Dakota."

"A surprise?" Shayna questions. She sees the pink blush that fills Rhea's cheeks and a look of understanding crosses her face. "Oh, it's that kind of surprise, isn't it?" Rhea nods, and Shayna can't help but smirk. "Well, are you going to tell me what it is?" she asks.

"Absolutely not. No way," Rhea says, shaking her head.

Shayna gives her shoulder a playful shove. "Oh come on! It's not like I don't already know the things you two get up to. After all, I did help you get started."

And this, Rhea has to admit, is a true statement. Shayna was the one who convinced her to ask Dakota out nearly a year ago. Did her “convincing” mostly consist of relentlessly teasing Rhea about how hard she was crushing, and threatening to tell Dakota for her if Rhea didn’t do it? Yes. But it got the job done.

And then a couple of months into the relationship, Shayna caught a look at Rhea’s laptop screen one night on the road and saw Rhea looking at strap-ons. Instead of teasing Rhea, Shayna sat down next to her and helped Rhea pick one out that she was confident Dakota would like. Ever since that night, Rhea has never really seen the point in keeping secrets about her relationship from Shayna.

"So, are you going to tell me what you have planned?" Shayna asks, her voice jolting Rhea out of her memories.

"Are you going to bother me about it until I tell you?" Rhea fires back.

"Probably," Shayna says, a smile on her face.

Rhea sighs, knowing that she's not winning this one. "Fine. After you help me," she says. Shayna's face lights up with a triumphant smile, and Rhea groans internally. Hopefully, she doesn't regret ever raising the topic.

They spend the next hour trying to figure out how to make Rhea's idea work. Shayna is patient, letting Rhea try a million different versions of the prism trap on her. Eventually they find a solution, and Rhea quickly types some notes into her phone so she doesn't forget anything.

"Thanks for helping me," Rhea says. "I really appreciate it."

"Anytime," Shayna says. "Now, I do believe I was promised answers," she says, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

Rhea bites back a curse. She had been hoping that Shayna would forget that detail. Of course she hadn't forgotten.

"I don't remember promising anything," Rhea says, sitting down next to her bag.

Shayna rolls her eyes as she joins Rhea on the ground. "You know what I mean," she says. "Come on, I promise I won't judge you."

If it were anyone else, Rhea would say no. Then again, Rhea wouldn't have asked anyone else for help.

Rhea takes a breath. "I want to hold Dakota in the prism trap submission while I fuck her," she admits. She watches Shayna's reaction, expecting her to laugh or roll her eyes.

But instead her friend gently nudges her shoulder. "That's what you were afraid to tell me?" Shayna asks. "Dude, that's a really good idea. Dakota is going to love it."

"You think so?" Rhea asks, her voice laced with doubt.

Shayna scoffs. "I've known Dakota longer than you. Of course she's going to be into it."

"How do you know what Dakota likes in the bedroom?" Rhea asks, raising an eyebrow. Shayna gives her a look. "What? It's a fair question," Rhea points out.

"Fair enough," Shayna agrees. "If you're asking whether I've done anything with her, I haven't. But you know Dakota. She gets chatty when she's drunk and sometimes she admits to things that she wouldn't talk about while sober."

Rhea laughs, nodding in agreement. "That's true," she says. "And by the way, I wouldn't care if you'd done anything with her in the past."

"I know," Shayna says. She gives Rhea a smirk. "So, how exactly did you come up with this idea?" she asks.

Rhea's cheeks flush pink. "I saw the way Dakota was looking at me one time during a match, when I was doing the submission on Raquel. She looked upset, almost. After the match I asked her about it, and she said that she was jealous that Raquel got to be in that position instead of her."

Shayna's smirk turns into a grin. "You two are perfect for each other," she says. "Like, you two were made for each other."

Rhea smiles to herself, thinking of Dakota's dyed hair, her big brown eyes, her sweet accent. "She's way too good for me," she says, almost forgetting that Shayna is with her.

"Nah, you two are the same level of perfect for each other," Shayna says. "I mean, I love the girl like a sister. But Rhea, you deserve her. She's not too good for you. She's perfect for you. And you're not too good for her either." She wraps an arm around Rhea's broad shoulders. "You two are perfect for each other. And seeing you two so happy together, that makes me happy for both of you."

Rhea looks over at Shayna with a smile. "Thanks for your help," she says. "I'm glad I've got you around."

"Anytime," Shayna says. "So are you going to tell me about it after you two try this thing you're proposing?" she asks with a smirk.

"Shut up," Rhea says with a laugh. "What, are you jealous of Dakota?" she jokes.

"Not at all," Shayna says. "Now, want to go get something to eat?"

Rhea smiles, letting Shayna help her to her feet. "Absolutely."