#lenny lover

[foxdemon-loser]

L.

An oc for a discord roleplay server. Lenny Lover (see old post) was disguised as Lenny so their actual form. Loic, wasn’t revealed.

[rosiemarieyn]

Warehouse

pairing: Lenny Miller x (spy)Reader

Summary: Sneaking in went wrong, now you have to face him.

Genre: Enemies to lovers (kinda), fluff

Word count: 2.3k

Note: Bought new vinyls and one of the songs inspired me to write something like this so enjoy !!

⋅───⊱༺ ♰ ༻⊰───⋅

Simple. Sneak inside the warehouse, take the goods, and leave. Easy.

Being a spy had its perks, being able to sneak behind people's backs and seize them when in need of money or simply you were bored.

Also, you get to know about everyone's deepest darkest secrets, you loved to gossip back in the day.

Oh, right. Back to sneaking in. You roamed around for an open window. Shit, of course, they wouldn't leave any, this was the CIA for fucks sake! You had no other option but to forcefully make your way inside. You climbed up a rusty ladder, god bless your gloves because these steps could give you many diseases that have probably never been seen since the 1500s, that's how dusty this place was.

Just as you were about to break the window, you saw movement from the inside, making you freeze instantly. You crouched -it wasn't the best idea to crouch on some rusty ladder- instantly resulting in your back-hurting fall, making a loud thud noise alongside. You saw the figure open the window and look down. Fuck, busted. Quickly gathering your bag, you stood up, getting ready to run when you heard a click. Too late to run, you put your arms up, staying still as you heard someone walk down the same ladder you fell. Humiliating.

"Turn around." What a voice, definitely heard it somewhere though- You turned around to face the man. Shock quickly spreads to your eyes from your facial muscles. REALLY? HIM??? Standing right in front of you at this very moment was the man you considered your mortal enemy.

"Look who it is, Mr. Miller…missed me?" This came out more sarcastically than you intended but oh well. "Still at your little antics? How many times do I have to tell you to quit fucking around before some of my men shoot you like a deer in the hunting season?" Rude. Rolling your eyes seemed to only make him more furious as he stepped closer to you, spitting harsh words towards your way. Honestly, it was kind of funny to see him be so worked up over some woman trying to work!!!

"Why should I listen to someone who is trying to get me killed with every cell in his body?"

"kill you?!- I- I'm trying to protect you, idiot!!" He trashed around as you stared at him with wide eyes.

"What did you just say?-"

"Can't you see I'm trying to make you stay out of trouble so you don't get fucking killed?!!!"

"But why…?"

"Because I care about people I love."

⋅───⊱༺ ♰ ༻⊰───⋅

[ghost-qwq]

MACSUMMERS DOODLE?!!!??🥺🙏 plez we are deprived

This took me AGES to get to... I'm so sorry

[thesefuckingfeelingsthatihave]

Azt hittem, már nem leszek szerelmes többé, és akkor megláttalak téged...

[almodjkiralylany19]

Annak, aki írja a sorsom.:

Kérlek tartsd benne őt.

[omgwhatchloe]

“look len i made a letter with my hands,”

“well i made a book with my hands!”

“woah.”

[bookishlyvintage]

Sweets Stack ~

– Cookie // Too Sweet to Miss –

[Wish I read sooner] Little Thieves

– Cake // So Many Layers –

[A book I judge by its cover] A Fragile Enchantment (out next month!)

– Pie // Need Another Slice –

[Wish I could reread for the first time] Strange the Dreamer

– Croissant // I'm melting –

[Made me cry] The One Hundred Years of Lenni & Margot

– All Tied in Knots –

[Still thinking about] Spin the Dawn

[snobgoblin]

look me in the eyes and tell me they haven't argued with each other online before

[forfoxessake]

JUNE (2023) - movies

Lady Chatterley’s Lover (2022)   Directed by Laure de Clermont-Tonnerre

Emma Corrin -  Jack O’Connell

 It's been a while since I read this and I get the impression that they made some different choices in regard to a few characters (the nanny/maid) that I didn't dislike. It's not a groundbreaking film, it feels more romantic than the book sets out to be but overall they do a good job. Emma Corrin's is so thin that it honestly bothered me a little.

Ammonite (2020)   Directed by Francis Lee

Kate Winslet -  Saoirse Ronan

There have been better lesbian films in recent years, and this is so small and quiet that it pales in comparison. But something, in the end, made it stand out. There's a scene where we are led to believe they will get a happy ending when suddenly the mood shifts and we see Kate Winslet's character for who she is, Mary is not only misunderstood because she is gay in a time where women had no autonomy, she is a person who has never felt seen - by the society and by the people who she loves. And that's a painful note to end at.

The Banshees of Inisherin (2022)  Directed by Martin McDonagh

Colin Farrell -  Brendan Gleeson -  Brendan Gleeson -  Kerry Condon

I was asking myself why was everyone so obsessed with this movie about two old dudes, a donkey, and a tiny island. It did not prepare me for how WILD this is.

Willow (1988)  Directed by Ron Howard

Warwick Davis -  Val Kilmer

I named my first dog when I was 4 after this movie - It was actually Billy Willow after much insistence from my mother. But 30 years later I barely remember what this was about and I thought it was time to revisit this after the release of the follow-up series. It's better than I expected but still very much a movie from its time. The old woman fighting hardcore scene is still very unique and a badass thing to have in a fantasy film.

Hannah Gadsby: Douglas (2020)  Directed by Madeleine Parry

Hannah is genuinely funny but never more so when she is going on about art grievances. Best use of a college art degree ever.

Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)  Directed by Halina Reijn

Amandla Stenberg - Lee Pace -  Maria Bakalova -  Rachel Sennott -  Pete Davidson

The sort of movie we all need sometimes, dumb teenagers being extra dumb together alone on a spooky evening. Extra points for a super cool ending.

Cha Cha Real Smooth (2022)  Directed by Cooper Raiff

  Cooper Raiff - Dakota Johnson -  Leslie Mann

A cute quiet movie, exactly that moment in time when you feel like you don't know where you are or where you are going, and want to find the answers to life in someone else, but that is not the way to fix anything, and this movie does a great service is showing us that we are just afraid.

Selena Gomez: My Mind & Me (2022)  Directed by Alek Keshishian

 Being open about your fears and health issues, be they mental or physical, it's in my opinion, the bravest thing a famous person can do.

Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989)  Directed by Hayao Miyazaki

I never really got the overall fascination with studio ghibli until I saw this. Kiki's is the perfect movie, it makes you feel warm inside and look at yourself and your adventures in a whole new way. I get it now.

Shotgun Wedding (2022) -  Directed by Jason Moore

Jennifer Lopez -  Josh Duhamel -  Jennifer Coolidge -  Lenny Kravitz

Sometimes all you need is a silly action-packed fun movie where nothing makes sense but you love every minute of it anyway.

[foxdemon-loser]

NEW OC JOINS THE CHAT

Lenny Lover

Agender/All pronouns

Pansexual

Flirty, confident, funny

[zarafey]

Oh I've missed you <3 (puns and banter in coldflash fics)

[immajustvibehere]

Touch Starved Arthur x fem!touchy Reader

Pairing: hh!Arthur Morgan x fem!Reader (fluffly)

summary: Arthur wonders why you, the most touchy person who doesn't mind hugging and being close to everyone in the gang, avoids him. Then you catch him alone one night and he finds solace in your closeness.

warning: Mentioning of Micah's abuse, it's platonic now but maybe second part for some lover action if y'all want?

2400 words, about 10-13 minutes reading time

Arthur didn't understand how you could be so open, giggly, and affectionate with anyone in the gang but him. Your willingness to engage in physical touch made no difference of man, woman or child. He had started to observe your interactions with others more closely, ever since he had found out that they gave him a bitter feeling of jealousy. You held hands with the girls, play-wrestled with Jack, leaned into Hosea's hugs at the camp-fire or happily jumped on Sean's back for some piggyback rides. Even when talking to someone, you'd stand unusually close, a hand on the arm of whoever you were conversing with.

Everyone came to you with their problems, because they knew they could expect hugs or soft caressing. Your role as source of comfort and support within the gang was truly valued, but you weren't stupid or overly naive when it came to intimacy. When you found it not appreciated or uncomfortable, you'd soon let it be. After Micah had joined the gang, Arthur had kept a close eye on how you proceeded around him. For a couple of weeks, until he had settled in, you had kept your distance before approaching him. Arthur almost boiled when he saw how gently you rested your hand on his arm and he almost intervened when he saw Micah's prudish reaction of pulling you closer, groping you and asking if you were the camp's whore. After this encounter with Micah, you wisely chose to keep your distance.

Arthur wondered if he had done something wrong, but he coulnd’t remember any occasion where he would have abused your trust. You had been closer to him before, but it seemed a long time ago. You'd lean into him during story times or greet him with a hug after coming back from a big score…but eventually, it had stopped. Had he given an unintentional signal that he didn't want to be touched?

Those were Arthur’s thoughts as he sat opposite of you at the campfire. You were seated on the log which Javier used as backrest. You sat exactly behind him, your arm and head resting on his shoulder. Sometimes, Javier would snuggle his cheek against your arm. A lover's touch, Arthur thought. He wondered about certain situations that felt needlessly…loving. Keeping in mind that you weren't as restrained and conservative when it came to touches, he thought that some people tended to abuse that. Dutch, especially. You'd sit on his lap and while Arthur was sure your thoughts were naive and you'd just figured out that Dutch likes the attention and you saw nothing more behind it than similar physical intimacy you granted the others, Arthur was convinced that Dutch's thoughts weren't as pure. It was he who had picked you up from a saloon one day, praising your carefree and happy character, warning everyone to respect you. But when he pulled you onto his lap, Arthur swore it was a patronizing move with afterthoughts. Not that he thought either one of you would act upon it.

But it riled Arthur. You'd hold Lenny's hand when he had a bad day and even massage Uncle's back if he asked kindly enough…but Arthur had been ignored for a while now. Arthur had been starring at you and Javier, at your arm that rested so comfortably on him, but as Arthur's eyes wandered up with the intent of studying your face, he found you staring back at him. Slowly, you receded your arm and sat up straight, no longer in contact with the man in front of you. Arthur felt like you had caught him daydreaming. Then you nodded towards the outer rims of camp, standing up and signalling Arthur to follow. He waited a few moments and gave you a head start, before following you into the darkness, away from the group and the campfire.

Arthur had soon caught up with you, as you headed straight for the little patch of woods.

"What're ya up to?", he asked, watching you curiously as you made your way through the forest.

"Nothing specifically, will you join me for a walk though?", you invited with a kind smile.

"Sure. Ain't exactly safe to wander away from camp in the middle of the night", Arthur commented and stomped through the dry leaves on the ground, right at your side.

"How have you been recently?", you asked, your eyes trying to catch his.

"Jus' fine."

"Mh, don't you lie to me, Mr. Morgan. I can tell you have something on your mind."

"Yer that good at reading people?", Arthur said surprised.

You giggled: "Not particularly. But you always have something on your mind, so that wasn't a far-reaching guess."

"Suppose not", Arthur chuckled warmly.

"So?"

Arthur shrugged and caringly extended his arm for you to hold onto, as you climbed over a fallen dead tree. For a moment, he was very focused on your warm and soft hand that had a tight grip on his arm as you tried not to lose balance. Though as soon as the obstacle had been crossed, your touched ceased from his arm, only its memory remained a while longer.

"I don't like 'round here. The way we are foolin' with both of 'em families. I don't think it'll work out,” Arthur said truthfully, "Besides, I don't like the stifling weather."

"I understand", you answered. You never argued when someone was confiding in you, neither did you come up with solutions, if not requested. But you listened, and this was enough.

By now, you had crossed the woods and had reached the meadow with some old ruins of houses and fences. You strolled towards a wall barely higher than a log and watched as Arthur sat down on it. You stood in front of him, carefully inching closer between his legs. Then you reached out and fixed his collar: "Has been annoying me all night..."

Arthur blushed profusely at this domestic gesture, but you barely noticed as you sat down next to him.

"You saw Mary Linton back in Valentine, didn't you?"

"I did", Arthur admitted briefly.

"So tell me more! I bet it's been on your mind", you said.

"I don't know,” Arthur sighed, “I think I miss what we had, but I'm no idiot. It didn't work before, and it wouldn't work now… Maybe I am an idiot, 'cause I keep entertaining those thoughts."

"Why wouldn't it work?"

"Ain't the best time to go off and stay away from camp. There's always something happening, I'd feel like a fool if I pursued her. Besides, her daddy never liked me and that for sure didn't change."

"What would make you happy, though?", you asked and looked at him. Arthur looked you in the eye.

"I think I just miss having a woman by my side. Marston is a damn fool to behave so cold around Abigail and little Jack,” Arthur complained. His gaze wandered off in the distance, searching for a landmark to focus on.

"He'll come around eventually", you smiled, knowing a lot more about John's situation after he had confided in you only a few weeks prior.

"I hope. I just want him to do right by her and the boy,” Arthur said.

"There it is,” you smiled and bumped your legs into his, "big, bad outlaw – lovingly caring for his friend’s wife and kid."

"Yer a damn tease, don't know how they all flock to you talking about their problems", Arthur quipped, now bumping his shoulder into yours. To his surprise, you stayed leaned against it, sighing happily and watching as he lit himself a cigarette.

Suddenly, your hand now rested on his arm, very lovingly and gently.

"All of a sudden, huh?", Arthur commented.

"All of a sudden what?"

"The touchin' and listenin' and stuff. Thought you'd keep ignoring me."

"What? Ignoring you? I'm sorry if I gave you this impression...I thought you didn't like that with other people around."

Your hand had disappeared from his arm, which pained Arthur.

You were right, of course you were. Arthur wasn't too big of a fan of showing that he needed loving attention as much as anyone, but you had figured it out. And now he realised why you had stopped, because you always felt him tensing up, shutting down and avoiding your gaze when you initiated some intimacy.

"Oh", Arthur mouthed. Now he took your hand and placed it on his thigh, squeezing it lightly, "I'm a moron, Miss y/n. I didn't realize you had picked up on that."

You smiled, satisfied that you'd been right, and leaned your head against his shoulder.

"I feared I had said something improper to scare you away", Arthur admitted in a quiet voice.

Of course not, you thought, if anyone in the gang was as gentle, pure and seemes the revel in those little touches, it was Arthur. And it was rewarding to see him soak up those little attentions like a sponge.

"Then you're right about being a fool. You haven't done anything wrong, Arthur", you said and squeezed his hand to emphasize those words. Hearing his first name roll from your lips had something very comforting. Arthur felt right at home, though he was sitting in a field.

"Yer a good person", Arthur said, "I'm damn sure you're the person holding this gang together. We'd have crumbled if it wasn't for you."

"You're giving me too much credit. You work way harder to keep us on track", you admitted and snuggled your face on his shoulder. Your thumb was slowly stroking his arm, Arthur watched shyly how the finger disturbed the hair that was growing on his forearm.

He had forgotten how much he needed that.

You heard the shaky breath the man next to you took.

"'s it dumb that I enjoy that?"

"No. Not at all", you honestly answered.

"What's the most ridiculous thing you've ever done for one of the fellers?", Arthur asked, feeling slightly embarrassed about asking you for something, even though all it would have been is if he could wrap an arm around you. After all, you had initiated all touch.

"Mh, well Micah-"

"No that", Arthur scoffed, "Could have beaten this rat's head in when he called you names, but i felt like you could handle the situation."

"Yes, I had", you said, squeezing his arm.

"I meant more like...did any of the man ever request something funny?"

You giggled: "Oh, you'd be surprised. But I won't tell you. Their secrets are as save with me as yours would, so don't feel bad about asking. I've heard that I give brilliant head-massages."

"That so?", Arthur said.

But he kindly refused the offer to lie his head in your lap, but when he offered this service in return, he was surprised when you readily agreed. "Thought you'd never ask!"

With your head resting on his thigh and looking up into the night sky, you could feel his muscles flex and tense under the weight of your head. Arthur took a while until he relaxed, even longer until he leisurely started to play with strands of your hair. He was very gentle, barely daring to touch your head and only letting few strands of hair run through his fingers.

Arthur closed his eyes and could imagine things that he normally would never let himself indulge in. A family, a cabin out west, a wife and a kid. Boy or girl or both, it didn't matter. A time where he didn't have to worry about the law chasing him down. Maybe, also a dog.

Lost in thoughts and thinking about what could have been, Arthur lost sense of time. It was your voice that brought him back to reality after a while.

"Arthur, dear? I'm getting a little tired. Could we head back?", your voice was soft and whispery. It didn't quite shake him up from his dreams. It's as if his wife called him back inside. But of course, you weren't his wife. And there was no "inside", only back to camp, back to the others.

"Of course, sorry. I didn't want to keep ya from sleepin'", Arthur apologized and waited until you had risen, before standing up himself with a stifled groan.

"I enjoyed this a lot, you know", you admitted. Even though neither of you had spoken, you felt like you had been part of Arthur's imaginations. And maybe found some solace in the same little dreams that he had.

"Me too. Thank you", Arthur said, and still was surprised when you hugged him gently. He hesitated for a moment, before putting his hand in the small of your back. Arthur felt good. It was a feeling that he hadn’t felt in a while. Having confided in you, the intimacy…there was this warm sensation in his chest. It had been a energizing experience, to say the least, dreaming without being judged.

You walked back with your arm intertwined with Arthur's. So not to "trip" on branches in the darkness, but also because it felt right. Arthur didn't dare to ask if that could become a regular thing. You only said good night when you had reached camp and he watched as you walked off to your bedroll.

Something had changed though, because the hugs after coming back from a long day of robbing and killing came back. Suddenly, when you handed him a plate of stew, your fingers would briefly touch. Whenever you found the opportunity, and Arthur gave you plenty, you fixed his collar or suspenders. With time, he lost the hesitation and would pull you closer when you were busy with dusting off his shirt.

Yet, you were occupied most of the nights. Arthur would see you at the jetty, talking with Lenny or deep in concentration while playing a game of Dominoes with Bill. You’d help Kieran with the horses and most of all, you’d always take time for Jack. It was you that put Jack to bed most nights, Abigail exchanged a few words with Arthur one morning on what a great help you’d been. From this point onwards, Arthur loved watching from a distance when you interacted with Jack. Slowly, an idea started to form. Maybe, if he worked up the courage, he could ask you to spend a night or two away from camp. Take Jack with them, as a kind gesture towards Abigail and to give the boy some distraction from his daily life in camp. Hell, you spent more time with him than John did anyways, and Arthur doubted that Abigail would have trouble entrusting you with him for a few nights. But it involved asking you…out, sort of. It wasn’t such a selfless action, though Jack would benefit, Arthur craved some time with you alone. And Arthur wasn’t sure if asking for this was overstepping a line.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Second part with Arthur taking out reader and Jack? Anyone interested? Wanna be tagged?

Second Part here!

[nthspecialll]

The fandom glorifies Arthur Morgan

Now I am not talking about about low honor, I play high honor and got it as the top at the end of every damn playthrough but my Arthur, as it is the cannon Arthur, is not a good guy. I am not going to talk about all of the murder, robbing and stuff he does, because we are majorly aware of it, I am talking his sexism, casual ignorance and disrespecfulness.

I quite often see people say that Arthur Morgan is a woman lover, and he definitely is, he is better than a lot of men from that time (which isn't hard), but he would not hold up in modern times, because he is not from modern times.

Generally speaking, Arthur Morgan is a man who believes in gender roles, he believes in the idea of "a man being a man" and "a woman being a woman." He has opinions about what a woman should do and what a man should do.

I think the biggest hint at this is his relationship with Sadie, because while he accepts her running with the boys he doesn't seem entirely happy about it. "You got a pair of pants and all of a sudden you think you're Landon Ricketts?" "You want to ruuuunnnn with the men?" and also "can Ms Grimshaw spare you?" when the girls asks if they can come to Valentine with him.

Talking of that quest, when he runs off to get Jimmy Brooks he puts Uncle, a lazy old bastard, in charge of getting the girls home even though they are more than capable of doing it themselves as they are healthy young women who knows how to handle horses.

In several antagonize lines against women performers (which are just as cannon as his greet lines) he shouts things like "That isn't very ladylike!" or "Go back to the kitchen" and "go make someone supper."

People keep saying Arthur would "treat them right" and he would, to an extent, he would care for you, he would be nice to you, but he would force those gender roles. He does have a belief women are somehow "softer" and that he as a person with a provider gene should do more of the harsh work.

So now we covered that, lets talk about the racism, or as I probably should rather call it, ignorance, because it is very commonly know Arthur does not judge by the color of skin.

The first one is that Arthur uses the whites-only saloon in Rhodes. Tilly mentions it to Arthur that they don't allow people of color into it, and yet he still supports it, it isn't a big thing but it is something of notice.

Secondly, when he talks to Eagle Flies where he "sets him in his place" Arthur, honey, you are so wrong here. Eagle Flies is being chased by the government for the mere fact that he exists with a different culture, you are being chased because you murdered so many folks, you can run across the sea and live a good life, they are fucked regardless.

When we first arrive in Lemoyne Lenny and Arthur talks about the Lemoyne Raiders about racism and Arthur says "These boys got a manner about them but I haven't particularly noticed," Arthur of course you wouldn't, you are a tall, muscular, white man with sun kissed hair and blue eyes, you are the poster boy for eugenics.

Lastly, which will also bring me to the third point, the casual disrespect:

Arthur causally calling Javier a slur on the boat for no reason, did you really need that one-liner so badly? That goes for a lot of times in the game such as: "are you secretly normal" "what a lunatic" "we should find a better story for that scar" "But you continue to irritate me, I will kill you and make my appologies to the lady" "stick around and you might die for her as well" "oh I didn't know I was talking to a lady." All those were a slight bit disrespectful, enough to be able to annoy the majority of us if he said it to us, and they were also unnecessary.

He is also canonically chronically late, most notably we can hear Sean saying "that man will be late to his own funeral," and when you go around antagonizing characters in camp they are not surprised at all, rather they go "back at it again huh?"

All of this is just to sum up, Arthur is a pretty bad man (also counting in all the illegal stuff) and we tend to glorify him and forget some of these things, partly is also because Rockstar are amazing at hiding them, at making them seem natural, and they are because this is a historically accurate game! It is set in 1899 and this is a man from 1899 he is going to be casually sexist and disrespectful, and again, considering that he is from 1899 he is a decent guy because the majority of folk would be like Micah, not Arthur.

I definitely love Arthur, and I love Arthur exactly because the point of his character is him not being a saint but a human. His redemption is choosing to do good where he can, but even so, this is a man in 1899 and he is going to have a 1899 mindset. If you want to play a game that is set in the past but don't have that type of accuracy it is not Red Dead you want to play.

Also here is an Arthur pic as a thank you for reading all of that. I love him.

[almodjkiralylany19]

Weak people revenge

Strong people forgive

Intelligent people ignore.

[androgynealienfemme]

"Yes, it's true: I was the type of young femme who managed the girls basketball team in high school, just to be able to take in the sight of all those butches parading their muscles up and down the court. I found Girl Scout camp to be femme heaven and reveled in being able to explore my athletic self and still maintain my femmeness. And, to my horror, I have to admit pushing Tina away from my breasts in the back seat of a Buick while attending Mount Saint Mary Seminary. And then there was feminism... Although I came out as a "gay" woman before reading The Feminine Mystique, the seventies brand of white feminism had me trimming my nails and cutting off my hair. Soon I was outfitted in farmer jeans and high tops. And still I was told by my "sisters" that I didn't "look like a dyke" (read: I didn't look butch). I began to lead two lives- one as an outrageous, skirted, lipsticked femme while I worked in and traveled with carnivals, and another as an imitation butch back home in the women's community. Eventually, I pulled the pieces of my being back together and proclaimed boldly, "I am a working-class lesbian femme." So I had maybe six years reveling in unleashing my seductive femme self when, as lives go, mine changed: slowly at first and then more dramatically. Recurring back pain and limited range of mobility were finally diagnosed. Soon after came decreased mobility. No more mountain climbing. No long mall walks in search of the perfect piece of sleaze. No more standing against kitchen walls being gloriously fucked by some handsome butch. I stopped using alcohol and drugs, became ill with what is now known as CFIDS (Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome), and began to use a three-wheeled power chair. The more disabled I became, the more I mourned the ways my sexual femme self had manifested through the nondisabled me: cruising at the local lezzie bar, picking up a dyke whose eyes refuse to stray from mine, dancing seductively, moving all of me for all of her. Cooking: love and suggestion neatly tucked into the folds of a broccoli quiche. Serving my date in varying, sleazy clothing, removing layers as the meal and our passion progressed. And making love... feeling only pleasure as my hips rose and fell under the weight of her. Accomplishment and pride smirked across my face as her wrists finally submitted to the pressure of strong persistent hands. There are the ways I knew to be femme, to be the essence of me.

It's been five years now since I began using my wheelchair. I am just awakening to a new reclamation of femme. Yes. I still grieve the way I was, am still often unsure how this femme with disabilities will act out her seduction scenes. I still marvel when women find passion amidst the chrome and rubber that is now a part of me.

There have been numerous dates, lovers, relationships, sexual partners, and fliterations along the way. Cindy, Jenny, Ellie, Emma, Diane, Dorothy, Gail, June, Clove, Lenny, Cherry, Diana, Sarah I, and Sarah II. You have all reminded me in your own subtle or overt, quit or wild ways that I am desirable, passionate, exciting, wanted.

Yes I am an incredibly sexual being. An outrageous, loud mouthed femme who's learning to dress, dance, cook, and seduce on wheels; finding new ways to be gloriously fucked by handsome butches and aggressive femmes. I hang out with more sexual outlaws now- you know, the motorcycle lesbians who see wheels and chrome between your legs as something exciting, the leather women whose vision of passion and sexuality doesn't exclude fat, disabled me.

Ableism tells us that lesbians with disability are asexual. (When was the last time you dated a dyke who uses a wheelchair?) Fat oppression insists that thin is in and round is repulsive. At times, these voices become very loud, and my femme, she hid quietly amidts the lists.

Now my femme is rising again. The time of doubt, fear, and retreat has passed. I have found my way out of the lies and oppression and have moved into a space of loving and honoring the new femme who has emerged. This lesbian femme with disabilities is wise, wild, wet, and wanting. Watch out.

-"Reclaiming femme... Yet again" Mary Francis Platt, The Persistent Desire (Edited by Joan Nestle) (1992)

[murasaki-cha]

Ok I've been thinking about this the whole day and I'm gonna post some of my Fearless predictions and come April I'll see if Apollo has bestowed upon me the gift of prophecy

Kai will be working together with Lenny to investigate the healers and get evidence that the Ordinary disease is fake while Paedyn spies on Kitt.

Kitt will actually be an evil king next book but that's because of Calum's manipulation while Paedyn will try to open his eyes to the truth.

Paedyn denying her engagement with Kitt, denying him as a lover or whatever sick punishment he's trying to give to Paedyn through this engagement but still trying to convince him that she really considered him a friend and a future king she could trust.

Kai will try to keep his distance from Paedyn and Kitt because he wants to keep Paedyn safe but Paedyn won't let him. I hope we get a parallel to the “No, I’m sick of running. And I won’t spend the rest of my life doing it unless it’s you I’m running back to.” line with Paedyn telling Kitt she's still running and Kai overhearing this.

Calum gets revealed as an evil mastermind that has been playing both sides, the Resistance and Ilya and also manipulating Kitt.

Paedyn going to Ava's tree to talk to her.

Paedyn visiting Adena's grave.

Paedyn killing Blair (this is more of a desire honestly).

Paedyn and Kai get secretly married. Ok I know a wild one BUT imagine Paedyn and Kai sneaking during the night in the gardens where they almost kissed and reciting wedding vows to each other promising themselves to the other with the stars as their witness.

Paedyn meeting Mak. I need it. I need it so badly you don't understand.

Kitt in the end fighting alongside Paedyn and Kai and realising he is not lacking, he is not unloved and he is not alone.