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bronx-bomber87 · 2 months

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Hello my wonderful fandom family :) Thanks for being so patient with me. I know I have till January but I am moving/slash road tripping at the end of Sept to a new state. Which is a HUGE change. Going two time zones ahead and everything. So wanting to get it out there before I move and have even less time LOL Also thank you for wanting to take this journey with me. S6 was hard on all of us.

Haven't had a show rock me this hard in a very long time. So I'm forever grateful for the love and comments these in depth reviews get. Never want to take that for granted. This was a ROUGH season to say the least. But I’m excited to dissect it with decompressed eyes and somewhat healed shipper heart. Be lying if I was saying it was fully healed. But was a much needed break for me. Let us begin shall we?

6x01 Strike Back.

Premiere starts off with a literal bang. They’re all trying to figure what is actually happening. The mastermind clearly not the man they just took down in Luke Moran. Also loving how scruffy Tim is in this first shot of the premiere. The stubble all over that gorgeous jawline of his. Mmm. Delicious dusting. Love to break me off a piece. Wouldn't be a review if Feral Caitlin didn't make an appearance would it? ha God he's beautiful I can't help myself. This is his fault really.

Anyway back to matter at hand.... Lucy points out Luke may have been a patsy for the real crime. Diverting all their resources to this this one spot instead of their real target. Our girl always being the brains and Tim being impressed by it. They go hand in hand. You know that man loves her brain. Her intelligence is just one of many reason's he fell in love with her. Fun to watch her flex it I have to say.

There’s so much to love about these shots in the shop with them. The Metro call sign being one of them. It does things to me. It’s just sexy. Also the automatic way she’s paired with him in this moment. Like anyone else would be in that car with him but still. Ever the packaged deal. Just the little things I always love so very much. They don’t share shops anymore. So this is a treat. Riding together, brainstorming, and just being the bad ass team they always are in the field. Makes my shipper heart happy to see it.

After the Federal Reserve mayhem we skip 6 weeks into the future. I always wondered what happened in those six weeks with our ship. Probably nothing massive tbh. But be fun to know what shippy goodness could’ve occurred. I imagine they had some time off after that. Spent it together and decompressed from the madness. Just a nice thought to think about is all. *cough fic writers cough.*

We start off our cuteness with Lucy in Tim’s office studying. There’s so much to love about this scene it’s unreal. Let’s start with Lucy taking residency in his office like it’s hers. Knowing it’s a quiet place for her to retreat to. Also I’m sure Tim offered it up long ago for her. Which makes me giddy to no end. He’s not the least shocked that she’s using it. Only that she’s not out on patrol. Married status continues to level up in this moment.

Lucy explains she’s fallen way behind in her studies. OT is killing her atm. I can’t imagine how stressed she feels. Lucy is our resident academic. Not having the time to nerd out on her studies has to be killing her. It’s why she reaches out to her man for help. To pivot this in a different direction. Something that worked for Tim when he needed studying time. Asking if she could ride with him today? Could quiz her between calls.

Getting flashbacks to 2x02 when she helped him study between calls for his exam. I always love the callbacks they do for them. Continuity is ship crack for me. I eat it up. He accepts and Lucy is beaming. Their smiles in this scene are so adorable. Couldn’t be more in love if they tried tbh. I remember thinking how much I missed our idiots in love so much. I'll be this way for S7 too. I miss them.

Tim looks excited for this challenge. You can see it in his face above. But he is also letting her know how hard it’s going to be if she wants him to do this. That it’s probably not going to solve her problem. But he’s willing to expand her knowledge base on wildcards. This way she can take any curve balls Primm has to throw. Lucy’s smile is everything when she thanks him. Relieved her man is gonna help her her out. I mean of course he would. Nothing he wouldn't do for her and she knows it.

I remember seeing the funniest post for this moment before it aired. How it was her basically asking ‘Babe, please be mean to me.’ LOL Lord knows this woman is well aware he wasn’t gonna take it easy on her. Just like the old days. It's where she learned the most. So it makes sense she would wanna dip her toe back in that pool.

Tim is ready to roll. Starting his ‘boot’ engines back up. Don’t tell me it's not a little bit of a kink for Tim. That man is too damn excited to be able to boss her around again. That being said says she learns best when she’s pissed off. I mean he’s not wrong…No one knows how to teach her better than he does. Lucy counters by saying does she? Or is this is just giving him permission to be an ass?

Tim letting her know if that’s really how she feels she doesn’t actually want his help. Lucy backtracks and is desperate for him to guide her with this. Saying she needs it. Tim is lighting up like a Christmas tree. You know that man LOVES her needing him professionally. It’s been awhile since she has. He’s excited. Lucy has been a self sufficient cop for long time now. Hasn’t needed his guidance for quite some time. So for her to come to him with this he is a happy camper.

Tim is thrilled to put his T.O. hat back on for her. They have such married energy through out this scene. Lucy telling him she doesn’t like his excited smile. Tim deflecting saying it's just his smile haha The absolute wifey look she gives him is hilarious. They just be flirting freely in the hallways. Like they aren’t completely married at this point. Even though he’s driving her insane she follows him out with an 'in love' smile. She loves her ass of a boyfriend haha

They hit the road and Lucy is still questioning her decision. Oh my girl. Saying maybe should’ve chosen Harper or Lopez instead…Tim makes a joke how Angela just got back. Her cop brain is just booting up. Which earns a smile out of Lucy. She loves this man sitting next to her so very much. Written all over her face. Doesn’t take long before Tim triggers a Lucy rant though.

Poor man is just trying to help the woman he loves get through this. Wasn't expecting the time bomb he received. He sets her off by saying no matter who teaches her they all have the same database. That there’s only a 8 percent difference between ranks. This is what ignites the Lucy meltdown above. That Primm is going to use that eight percent to trip her up. His face above when she starts is priceless. Tim is just bracing for impact at this point LMAO Ain't no stopping what's coming his way.

The flood gates have opened and phew lord what a meltdown it is LOL Holy hell. She is the queen of them. I adore how Melissa can shoot off so much dialogue in one breath. It’s impressive af if you ask me. Also makes me cackle so much cause I’ve been her. So many times when I’m under immense stress I do the same. You prattle on until you run out of steam. I can’t believe there isn’t a gif set of this rant so I made one. It’s too good not to have in this review.

It’s the look on Tim’s face that has me ROLLING. It’s been awhile since he’s had an epic Lucy rant thrown at him and it shows. Eric the King of facial expressions is at it again. I’m laughing so damn hard. I remember having to pause cause I was laughing so much at his expression. He most definitely wasn't expecting the rant that he got. If you can look at him above and not laugh you're made of stone. Hang in there Tim lmao Your girl Is worth this intense stress/anxiety vomit she just spewed all over you. It's like he doesn't even know where to begin after she's done. So he just doesn't....

The married energy continues once Lucy has wrapped up her meltdown. Tim being the smart man he is doesn’t say a word. He’s learned a thing or two from this relationship. Lucy though takes his silence as saying everything for him. With her ‘Please don’t.’ Tim trying not to start anything telling her he’s said nothing. He truly wasn’t expecting the explosion he got. Was happy to be a passenger princess today, while he quizzed her through out the day. And instead got an epic freak out right out the gate.

Tim can’t win for losing in this scene. (or this episode really) Lucy telling him she hear him thinking it. I remember there being a Chenford Bingo of some sort before the premiere. And exasperated husband was on there. This delivered that in spades. His reaction after her saying this is gold. Haha This is the woman you’ve chosen to love Timothy. LMAO You know he loves her to death neuroses and all but good lord ha.

Their banter never fails to hit and the marriage vibes on top of this is top tier. I am here for it all damn day. One of those 'When did they get married again?' moments. His look at the end is like he’s chanting to himself . ‘You love this woman…you love this woman...’ Lucy tops it off saying she just won’t sleep till the exam. Leaving Tim to shake his head more and not say a word. Only look out the window as he rolls his eyes. Primo banter and chemistry here. *chef kiss*

They roll up to their first wildcard. I adore the Metro call sign as they do. Tim assigning the crime scene to Lucy as he does. *fans self* I can’t explain why the call sign so sexy. Just is. Also them sharing it on the scene also gets me all in my feels. Tim is telling her that he is there as a resource for her. But she is the one in charge. Asking her what’s her first move?

The Plain Clothes Day vibes are all over this scene and it's fantastic. Another callback I am so happy they touched on. Lucy confidently strides onto the scene and explains her move. Tim tells her to call it in. Love the way she looks at him the entire time she does. Tim asks her what else? This is where Lucy’s confidence starts to wain sadly.

Where that panicked rookie from all those years ago begins to resurface. The way she is talking at Tim trying to figure it out oh my lord. The PCD vibes are so strong. Only this time Tim is helping her out a lot more. Unlike back in S1 he was there to watch her flop around, second guess herself and drown. It’s much different this time around. He truly wants her to succeed and let's her know as much in his responses. Lucy doesn’t see that in this moment though unfortunately.

Tim telling her the obvious boxes are checked but what’s her wildcard? The spiraling is so real for her in this moment. It hurts to watch the anxiety build in Lucy. Tim testing her knowing she can do this but her confidence is eroding in this moment rapidly. He is trying to get her there faster by saying she doesn’t have a minute. Which she really doesn’t when we know how this scene ends…

One of my fav parts of this scene is the line above. The kindness and gentleness Tim has. Because he wasn’t in love with her during PCD like he is now. Here he is trying to be supportive and gently guide her to the answer. Even give her an out for it. S1 Tim never would’ve said there’s no shame in not knowing the answer. Not this directly anyways. Doing his damn best to support her through this. But also help her get to the answer so she learns. Lucy takes it the wrong way though.

Reason being it has nothing to do with the man next to her. That man would die first before not supporting her. Level headed Lucy would know that. Sadly she is not here with us at this crime scene. Who she really is mad at is herself at this point. Because she should know the answer and her brain is stalling out in this moment. Tim told her he wasn’t gonna take it easy on her. But breaks a little with his kind reply. Giving her an out if she wants it. Lucy can’t handle it though...Because she is being far harder on herself for this than Tim could ever be. I can relate so hard to this it's unreal.

I do love the way she says ‘Sergeant Bradford, please.’ Lucy feels like she’s suffocating in her own thoughts. The panicked rush to get this right and hitting a wall. The anger building towards Tim at the same time. The confidence she has built since S3 just melting away the more she stresses. All the while taking it out on Tim. Why you ask? Because in this moment she is projecting that anxiety and stress onto him with her reply. Defense mechanism thy name is Lucy Chen.

Doesn’t take long after that line for the sprinklers to come on….The wildcard revealing itself on its own. We watch as the evidence literally gets washed away and the bullet down the drain….Lucy rushes to chase it and watches as it goes down a storm drain. A reflection for how she feels about her hopes of passing this test…It’s a rough scene to watch unfold for her. The devastation on her face when she realizes that bullet is gone is very rough.

They return to the station and Lucy is as defeated as she can be. Hoping no one knows about it as as she rubs her tattoo. They start to play clown music as she enters. SMH. Tim trying not to laugh. Aaron doesn’t help when he also laughs at her misfortune. Not a good day for our girl….Lucy gets distracted by Wesley being there with the baby.

We get a small sweet departure from her anxiety in this moment. While she has him she wants his legal opinion on her crime scene. He too laughs. These men in her life are the worst right now. Not helping her building anxiety and loss of confidence. Wes telling her she fatally ruined that scene. That she’s gonna need a straight up confession to convict someone. And that’s only if she finds the killer…oof.

We rejoin our beautiful duo staking out the crime scene. Lucy grasping at straws to fix what she so royally screwed up. Her heightened state of spiraling continues on in this scene. Lucy admits she wants to skip the exam. Her face breaks my damn heart. Killing me here Melissa. I do love the way he says her first name in response. Still gets me he can. After years of Officer Chen and ‘boot.’ Just hits differently and makes my shipper soul happy.

Tim tells her she is ready. That man would not tell her she was ready if she wasn’t. Relationship or not that man doesn’t hold back. Wouldn't send her head long into failure. If Lucy was in a better place emotionally she would’ve heard him. Heard the confidence in his tone. Seen the empathy he was exuding for her. This man has changed so much in his time with her.

It sky rocketed when they got together. Tim couldn’t have been more supportive if he tried in this scene. Hell this entire episode. But she is so very stuck in her head. A place Tim could normally shake her loose from. A specialty of his really. He can’t gain an inch of ground in this scenario. Lucy has dug her heels in so to speak that she’s gonna fail. Nothing he says is getting through.

Our girl is experiencing massive amounts of anxiety and self doubt. The panic attack is real. The fact that the one person she would’ve sold her soul for, in order to get his support back in the day, isn’t getting through is a problem. Lucy goes on to say she knows herself. That if she takes this test right now she will fail. Her confidence will die along with it. That it’s better to wait. Tim steps from one minefield to the next with this convo.

When he once again is just trying to be supportive and says ‘Then wait.’ Not only is he being in her corner he gives her something she can do in meantime. Something he hates the idea of. Her going UC while she waits this anxiety/doubt out. If that isn’t him supporting her idk what is. He is also still learning how to be there for her emotionally and she isn't giving him the grace for that. Sadly Lucy isn't in the right mind to see that though. She is just stuck in the mode she's been trapped in all ep.

I get it I really do and empathize with her. I’m the same way when my emotions are in a heightened state. Nothing gets through. I'm frozen in place emotionalIy. I get very doom and gloom as well. Lash out at anyone who isn’t going to be positive and reassuring. Which Tim is doing his best to be. But Lucy is in such a dark state of mind she doesn’t see it. All she sees right now is he doesn’t believe in her and is kicking her while she is down. She needs reassurances right now. To her he isn't delivering that the way she is wanting at this point. Him agreeing with her that she should wait is only making matters worse.

Anxiety is a cruel cruel master. It makes you believe things that aren’t true. Amplifies them to the point that you’re so wound up you’re lashing out at everyone. Even your person. Which is exactly what’s happening with Lucy in this moment. Her accusing him of making it worse with how bad she already feels. When Tim is professing words of encouragement all she hears is him saying she can’t do it.

Tim is desperate for her to know he’s in her corner after this display. Asking her if she heard him? Lucy is distracted by someone showing up to the crime scene. Tim asks her what? Lucy replying that woman was looking at the crime scene while crying. Tim is so sassy in his reply I’m proud of him. ‘Or maybe she just had a frustrating fight with her girlfriend’ heh love this. Calling her his GF always gives me the feels.

Lucy gets a last minute win with this case. Catching this lady trying to get her bracelet back after tossing the gun. Her cop gut serving her well. Sadly Lucy doesn’t see this win as such and it bleeds into this final scene unfortunately. Once again the music is absolute perfection. I’ll post some of my fav lyrics at the end of my analysis of this fight. But first let us witness the incredible chemistry that is Eric and Melissa in this final portion. You know your ship is amazing when even their angst is lightning in a bottle goodness.

This fight I will say when I watched it originally excited me. Because it just showed they’re human. Real. The both of them. They make mistakes and aren’t perfect. How healthy this was for them to get off their chest. Because honestly the UC/detective tension has been building for a long while. This was the boiling point for it IMO. This scene hurt so good to watch. I rewound it a few times before I could process it the first time.

Tim starts off with congratulating her on her 4th quarter win. He’s genuinely so proud of her for bouncing back. Felt like she NEEDED this win. So he makes sure she knows. But like I said earlier Lucy isn’t viewing it that way. Her perception is more than a little skewed atm. Her building anger at Tim has reached it's peak. She is cold to him and brisk as hell. Tim immediately picking up on her clipped ‘Thanks.’ Like she was going to be able to hide her anger and frustration from him. Girl no. Tim asks her what? Lucy shrugging him off once again.

Tim pulls on her arm gently and parrots her own damn words back at her from 5x21. That they’re not gonna work if she’s going to lie to him. Lucy conceding immediately to that. I mean they have a lot to work on communication wise, but they’ve also come really far in this aspect too. Don’t wanna disregard that. Look at Tim confronting this right away and communicating effectively. There are causes for excitement with that growth. That being said they have a ways to go. This fight is proof of that.

Lucy pulls zero punches when she asks if he undermined her today so she wouldn’t make detective? The absolute look of hurt painted across his beautiful face kills me. As you all know I relate with Tim so very much. He is so deeply loyal and loving. That any of his motives are to help those he loves around him. He truly thought he was helping her out today. Being supportive and helpful. So for her to come at him like this is leaving him stunned and extremely hurt.

His person the one person who knows him better than anyone, accusing him of something he would never even fathom doing. I was hurt for him watching this. Last thing he would ever do would be to hinder her intentionally. Loyalty to a fault is having someone else hurt you first before you’d ever do the same. That’s Tim. It’s why he is so defensive the rest of this scene. And rightfully so. I'm proud of him telling her it upset him she would even think that of him. Because IMO he did not undermine her. That man did what was asked of him.

All of Lucy’s pent up anxiety, anger, and frustration comes out full force at Tim in this scene. And my boy didn't deserve it. I was on his side the first time I watched it and I am now. I didn’t see that changing though lol. Do I understand what Lucy is going through? Yes. Good god yes. I've been her. I feel so much for what she's going though. I want to make that very clear. But Tim didn't deserve this barrage against him. Wanna also note i’m so proud of the writers for tackling mental health from the jump with this season. Both our babies got issues and this was the precursor to the season really. We just had no idea at the time....

Lucy assumed all day he was undermining her. Instead of just confronting that fact she sat in it. Stewed in it really. ALL. DAMN. DAY. Which isn’t like her. She is the type to face it right away and voice that to Tim. But didn’t this time. Giving us a little taste of their communication problems early on this season. There’s that saying. 'When you assume you make an ass out of you and me.’ And by the end of this convo Lucy is feeling like an ass. I guarantee you that .

Lucy continues to dig herself a hole when she bring up that maybe it was "unconscious". Not deliberate but also that he couldn’t help it. Which doesn’t make Tim feel any better. Nor would it make me feel any better either tbh….Basically saying he has no control over things he does. Which just insult to injury at this point for him. Then Lucy goes for her next punch below. One I still feel was unfairly delivered.

Does Tim still carry those issues? Of course he does. 100% that is still a weight on him. It’s reflected in the next ep when the subject of UC comes up. But does it belong in this fight with him? No. It has zero place in it. But like I said before she is feeling a loss of control and confidence in herself. So she is projecting her insecurities and feelings onto Tim. By bringing up his and using them to stabilize hers. It's a low blow she is dispatching to him.

She is running from her own feelings about this. She is also protecting herself by making it about Tim and his problems. (Which he has for sure) Because she isn’t ready to face the fact that she’s afraid of UC and all that will come with it. How being a detective on top of it is going to pull her from him even more.

She voiced these concerns in 5x19 when she was originally studying for her exam. It’s easier for her right now to hide in and blame Tim for his problems, than deal with her own right now. Tim’s reaction is so valid in this moment. Because to him all he did was have her back from the jump. He is feels sucker punched by this explosion and it's written all over his reaction.

Lucy asked him to help her. He did. Even told her it wouldn’t be easy and he wouldn’t be soft on her. She accepted the terms of this situation willingly. Tim supported her best he could through her meltdown. Did his damndest to not comment on it. He knows it’s her process to spiral a bit then right herself. Because he knows her so well. He had her back in trying to help figure out her wildcard. She rejected it and drowned.

Tim was calm and kind even if she didn’t recognize it about the exam. When she was doubting herself he built her up letting her know she can do it. Did his best to be in her corner if she truly felt she wasn’t ready. Then congratulated her when she got her case win. To Tim all that was him having her back.

It’s why he’s so blindsided and hurt by her words. Lucy is basically kicking him while he down in this moment and it hurt to watch. Because her anxiety and immense stress has blinded her. Making her act so very not like herself. She came at him with a one-two punch. First punch accusing him of undermining her and second being an unfair Isabel punch.

The K.O. punch really is him reading her face above. The way she looks at him when he says ‘But if you can’t see that then…’ Doesn’t even finish his sentence. He can read her just as well as she can read him. Lucy cannot see that right now. Too clouded by her extreme anxiety and stress to see him and his intentions clearly. So he ejects out of the convo. She has knocked him down for the count.

Tim can’t take the way she is looking at him right now. The way she is making him feel. Tim has always held how she viewed him in high regard. Nothing means more to him than what she thinks of him. So for her to level him with this is heartbreaking for him. So he reverts back to old Tim and clams up. Tells her he’s tired and for them to take the night off. Then walks away from her with no way for her to retort.

Lucy is a block of ice until this line of his. She was fully expecting him to apologize and go home with her. And he did not. He ejected out of the conversation to go lick his wounds. The look of shock on her face is everything. She wasn’t expecting that at all. You can see the panic on her face. That raw panic of her being left behind by him. Of Tim leaving her. The tears building in her eyes as he does this. Oh the painful foreshadowing that is this moment…..

The lyrics for this scene are so poignant and perfect. As is the entire musical lineup for this season. Perfectly encompasses Lucy in this episode and especially this scene. Here are some of my favs.

‘I think I’m losing my mind. I see you’re losing your light. Drowning out the decibels. Do you wanna find the antidote? Trying to watch my obstacles, see how fully I’ve been broke.’ Lucy is so broken in this episode and doesn’t reach out to the one person, her person to help fix her. She was drowning and went to him for the antidote and then refused it the entire time. Then gets consumed by it all.

Just a glaring look into how they both deal with being emotionally overwhelmed and vulnerable. And it’s not a good look for either of them this season tbh. But we start out with Lucy’s where I side with Tim before we go head long into Tim’s and I side with Lucy it's balanced at least lol. Damn good premiere though. I was buzzing with excitement after it.

As always thank you to anyone who read this. To all the likes, comments and or reblogs I may receive you are the best. I shall see you all in 6x02 :)

Side notes-Non Chenford

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Scruffy Tim in this ep has my ovaries in overdrive. Mmm just wanna nom on his jawline like corn on the cob.

Nyla Harper being a bad ass in a tense situation is primo. Can always count on her. The aftermath sucks for her though.

Angela being more excited to see a burrito than her husband is hilarious and so on brand haha

Main baddie gets eliminated at the end of the ep. Not sure I remember why tbh haha Things got hazy at the end of the season for me with the SL.

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cursedvida · 4 months

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If the story had made Noa as an adult ape, with a established mate, and with children, the story would be more or less the same. His relationship with Mae would have been more like father and daughter where she reminded him of his children and give him a reason to protect her. It would probably be less shippy if you know what I mean (because people still ship what they wanna ship).

But no. It is clearly emphasized that he is very young and naive and he had no reason to be worrying for this similarly young girl who has given him enough reasons not to trust her but still helps her anyway because she left a quite impression on him. It doesn't help that Noa's actor is young and good-looking and their scenes together are full of chemistry 😭

It would have been zero shippy to be honest. Yes, I thought so too. They both must be, if not the same age, at least at a similar stage in life, with the difference that Noa has never left his village and doesn't know the horrors of the world, while Mae literally comes from hell, so her attitude is very different. But they are two young protagonists discovering what's happening around them, while being on opposite sides. Expecting people not to ship them seems very naive to me.

Through Mae, an entire unknown world opens up to Noa, and for the first time, he becomes aware that he has lived his entire life completely isolated from the problems occurring outside his environment. And through Noa, Mae starts to see the apes as more than just monsters whose sole objective is to destroy humans, and she realizes they have much more in common than she was probably taught. And that's a bond that unites them, no matter how much it might bother some people.

#they're basically a ghibli couple #like princess mononoke #ohhh that meme #'i hate you'#'you're beautiful'#literally them lol #kingdom of the planet of the apes #kotpota mae #nomae #planet of the apes #mae x noa #kotpota noa #kotpota #mae #noa #noa x mae

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blackhardtt · 9 hours

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Important PSA for my Mutuals:

1. Genuine Interaction Matters: If you’re genuinely interested in building a connection, please like this post. I’m looking for quality interactions, not just to be another number on your follower list. This space thrives on authentic engagement, and I want to share it with those who truly wish to connect.

2. Mutual Engagement: I highly value a mutually interactive dashboard. This doesn’t mean you need to engage with every single post I make—far from it! However, I appreciate seeing genuine interest in what I share, whether that means the occasional like, comment, reblog, or etccc! . I believe in fostering a space where both parties feel seen and valued.

3. Understanding Life's Ups and Downs: I completely get that life gets hectic and hiatuses happen. That’s not an issue at all. However, if there hasn’t been any form of interaction from your side for an extended period (and this was the case even before your hiatus), I may reconsider the connection. I always try to do my part by actively engaging with others through likes, comments, and sending in memes.

4. Memes & Comfort Zones: I’m happy to send memes and engage in lighthearted ways, but when it comes to shippy or more intimate content, I prefer to establish a sense of comfort and rapport first. It’s important for me to respect boundaries and not jump into things that might feel too forward or awkward without prior discussion.

5. Follower/Following Cleanse: In the coming days, I’ll be doing a bit of a clean-up of my follower list. This isn't meant to be harsh but rather a way to alleviate some of the anxiety I experience from having a large following without genuine interaction. I find that when I have too many followers, I tend to overthink and feel overwhelmed. If I notice that we haven't interacted meaningfully, I may opt to soft block, simply to keep this space more manageable and less stressful.

In summary: I’m here for genuine connections and meaningful interactions. I don’t expect you to engage with every single post, but I do appreciate knowing that there’s mutual interest and respect. Thank you for understanding, and let’s continue to make this space a welcoming and interactive community! 🌟

Lastly, I totally understand how consistency can be a challenge—trust me, I’m the same way! Very up and down, and that’s perfectly okay! 😊 I’m a big believer in “the little things matter most” rather than having 100 ongoing threads. Even a one-liner or a quick crack interaction can mean just as much to me.

#i will be reblogging this here and there #i genuinely just want to keep my dashboard to people who want and i do interact with!#even if our threads are on and off! that is quite alright <3 #and if i do soft block its not a permanent thing #you can always just ask me why :)#again pls dont take this the wrong way #i just think id be more active if i didnt have this overwhelmed feeling #POST [psa.]

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arcadekitten · 4 months

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Hello Arcadekitten! So I was wondering, in What way did Ryo Mean when he told Embry he misses them Then Embry said they miss him too? I feel like that’s kinda a strange thing for friends to tell eachother but that’s Just my opinion!

Thank you so much for your time if you see this!

I don't think it's strange for friends to tell each other at all. Especially given the context of their relationship in Crowscare: You have to remember that Embry does not live in the town that Ryo lives in. They are friends, but they can only hang out with each other when Embry is in town--which isn't super often. And Embry is still a child, so when they're able to stop into town is not in Embry's control.

I want to clarify that like, if you are someone who wants to ship something I don't inherently mind if you want to read more romantically into a character's dialogue (as this is what I'm getting implied from this ask). BUT in the same breath I never want you to deny the possibility of platonic love in all its shapes and forms. The possibility that nearly any line that can be read romantically can just as validly and love-filled be read platonically.

It is something I feel very strongly about in my work! It is very clear that I enjoy me a good romance and that I like writing romances! But I also feel very strongly about the love you can feel platonically towards others and that more often than not yes, actually, there IS a platonic explanation for this.

For example Mary's relationship with Crowven in Cemetery Mary or with Vasilis in Blackout Hospital. Mary expresses a lot of love for these individuals and in turn they express love right back to her. And if someone played Blackout Hospital and thought Vasilis and Mary would make a cute couple I wouldn't mind. I've even made shippy art of them myself before! But I also think it's important to recognize that that relationship was written platonic and that there is no less love there than if it was written romantic--just a different kind of love.

LOL sorry that was a bit of a tangent but I saw an excuse to talk about my feelings on this kinda matter and I took it! Hope you're okay with that! ✰

#might as well tag everything i mentioned here #crowscare #cemetery mary #blackout hospital #ryo #embry #mary #mary anta #vasilis #vasilis deerlington #ask

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rheian · 3 months

Text

SIRIUS BLACK

Fanfiction that focuses on Sirius Black. Most of these are not shippy focused fics but some of them are, sorry! click read more to see the list! ( dividers credit )

Fuck J.K Rowling. Bigotry against trans people will NOT be allowed !!

Please note to check the tags on the actual fics aswell for extra content warnings. Italics are tags / thoughts that are mine.

There are some fics that people who don't have an ao3 account may not be able to read due to it being locked, sorry.

I stayed up till 3 AM to make this... who knew making these could be so time consuming?

Edges by aschicca ( E | 14k words | three-shot )

Sirius could go downstairs. If Remus had been alone, if he’d been the one bringing dinner and wanting to eat it with Sirius, he probably would have. Unfortunately, Tonks was there too and there was nothing Sirius wanted less than to sit through another evening when he’d have to be forced to look on as his cousin flirted with Remus; and the love of Sirius’s life flirted back.

Sirius is having a hard time living as a recluse in Grimmauld Place and dealing with the issues his time in Azkaban left him with. Plus, his cousin keeps flirting with Remus and jealousy is driving him mad. Well, madder…

Sirius Black/Remus Lupin || Post-Sirius Black in Azkaban, Altered Memories, Sirius Black Lives

Played For a Fool by fullonbicrisis ( T | 3k words | one-shot )

The main thing Sirius remembered was the burning. He felt every second of the dark magic as it seeped into his forearm. It was only a matter of moments, but it felt like a lifetime as he waited for it to end. There was no going back now. It was done.

Sirius Black had taken the dark mark.

or Sirius takes the dark mark and becomes the spy in order to save Regulus.

Regulus Black & Sirius Black || Fix-It of Sorts, Sirius Has a Savior Complex, Albus Dumbledore Bashing

Call it Impertinence by Xlinker ( E | 133k words | uncompleted )

Walburga adored her son. When she saw the telltale red scent glands on his frail body where shoulders meet neck, she knew. Sirius was an Omega. Mundane, mediocre, little overlooked Walburga Black sired an Omega son.

Endgame Sirius Black/Remus Lupin || Omega Sirius Black, Slow Burn, Pureblood politics

How To Lie by camichats ( T | 8k words | two-shot )

Regulus runs away to the Potter's. Sirius goes to visit and gets more than he bargained for in one James Potter, but he doesn't let that change his life plans.

Sirius Black/James Potter, Regulus Black & Sirius Black || Slytherin Sirius Black, Gryffindor Regulus Black, Pureblood Society, Roleswap-ish

Rebellion by Janieohio ( T | 2k words | one-shot )

First-year Hogwarts student Sirius Black was sure he'd break the family tradition of being sorted into Slytherin, yet here he was, despite everything. But when he sees the way the small, greasy-haired half-blood is being treated, he realises that perhaps there are other ways to rebel.

Sirius Black & Severus Snape, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape || Slytherin Sirius Black, What-If, Marauders Era

They're Hiding Inside Me by TheDivineComedian ( T | 38k words | completed )

It’s the summer after fifth year, and Sirius has made himself scarce as usual. But then Remus catches a glimpse of him in Witch Weekly’s special on the Black-Malfoy wedding. Something about that photo is very, very off…

Turns out this is the summer Sirius runs away. Or tries to. Because the Blacks are not giving up on their heir without a fight.

Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Sirius Black & Regulus Black || Child Abuse, Marauders Era, Free Will

The Black Heir by wormsForthought ( M | 33k words | completed )

Everyone wanted a Black. It was a simple fact of the British magical society that one simply couldn’t do better than a Black. Yet, where does all that adoring hatred go, and what goes on behind closed doors?

Sirius Black/James Potter/Lily Evans || Slytherin Sirius Black, Trans Sirius Black, Marauders Era

Pot, Kettle, Black by TheDivineComedian ( T | 8k words | two-shot )

In 1978, Sirius Black almost becomes an Auror. Turns out even he can’t fake his way through the mental health assessment.

So what. He has better things to do: Remus Lupin is one. The war is another. He spends weeks at a time undercover for the Order while Polyjuiced to the gills. It’s probably his new favourite thing.

Little does Sirius know that running from himself will send him on a collision course with his ephemeral brother, but life is funny that way.

Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Sirius Black & Regulus Black || Mental Health Issues, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Fix it a little bit, Character Study(?)

Overdose by puuvillaa ( E | 31k words | three-shot )

All his life, Sirius has pretended to be an alpha. When he runs away from home, he realises that he no longer has access to Suppressing Potion. To avoid detection, he decides to make his own. It can’t be that hard.

Can it?

Sirius Black/Remus Lupin || AU - No Voldemort, Omega/Omega, Omega Sirius Black

the scream in the title by orphan_account ( T | 10k words | uncompleted )

Sirius squints from Lupin and then back. “You’re Harry,” he says. “Aren’t you.”

“Yeah,” Harry mutters. “Sirius?” I know you.

“Harry Potter.”

“Yeah.”

“James’ kid, they said.”

“You don’t believe them,” Harry says.

Sirius shrugs jerkily. “Fucking time travel,” he grunts. “Like hell.”

Sirius Black & Harry Potter || De-Aged Sirius Black, Book 5, Hurt/Comfort

73 Aberdeen by Mici ( M | 30k words | three-shots )

There are some things ungoverned by fate. If Sirius Black had gone the path of every Black before him, if he had been in Slytherin, he would have been a very different boy. It would have been a very different war.

Sirius Black/Remus Lupin || Slytherin Sirius Black, Major Character Death, First Wizarding War

listing things that hurt (and things that don't) by orphan_account ( T | 7k words | one-shot )

He's nineteen and wonders if people can drown in rain.

Sirius Black/Remus Lupin || Mental Health Issues, Hurt Sirius Black, Bittersweet Ending, Introspective

On the Verge of Self-Destruction by shes_reckless ( M | 100k words | completed )

Sirius Black is under constant pressure to measure up to others' expectations of him. Feeling a lack of control over everything else in his life, he takes control over the one thing he can: his body and his weight. And no one can take that away from him.

Endgame Sirius Black/Remus Lupin || Eating Disorders, Blood Pressure, Mental Institutions

Everything is right by de_sire ( M | 10k words | one-shot )

There is something wrong with Sirius.

A story of teenage drama, confusing sexuality, unexpected attraction and, of course, love. It's always about love.

Sirius Black/Remus Lupin || Asexual Sirius Black, No Smut, Mutual Pining

Crash Into Me by Jadewing47 ( T | 2k words | one-shot )

Sirius always comes back a little...quieter after the summertime and Christmas breaks. The shadows curving his cheeks just a little more shaded in, his silver eyes just a little darker, his stride just a little slower, his back just a little straighter, and his tongue, for once, just a little quieter. This time the other Marauders find out why.

Sirius Black/Remus Lupin || Cruciatus Curse, Child Abuse, Depressed Sirius Black

Black Bonds by Rachel500 ( T | 40k words | completed )

When a new enemy targets their beloved grandson, Sirius, Sentinel Arcturus Black and his Guide, Melania, show why threatening the House of Black is a really, really bad idea.

Sirius Black & Regulus Black || AU - Sentinels & Guides, Kidnapping, Child Death, Mystery

Scars by orphan_account ( G | 4k words | one-shot )

Sirius self harms and Remus finds out.

Sirius Black/Remus Lupin || Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Depressed Sirius Black, Marauders Era

Not Okay by bethylated_spirits ( T | 4k words | one-shot )

"Where are you now? Are you safe?"

Sirius glances guiltily at the pill bottles lying next to him.

“I, um…” He swallows, his throat dry. “Yes?”

Sirius Black is not okay.

James Potter & Sirius Black || AU - Modern, Depressed Sirius Black, Self-Harm

Doubt thou the stars are fire by felinedetached ( T | 3k words | one-shot )

Sirius shuts his mouth, hides his views and does all he can to protect himself and his brother. This is why the hat put him in Slytherin.

(In another life, perhaps he was more like Andromeda. Perhaps he rebelled, lived his life bright and loud and brave and Gryffindor. But in this life, Sirius Black decided that surviving was more important to him than living, and he adjusted his actions accordingly.)

Sirius Black is a Good Pureblood Son, and everything changes.

Regulus Black & Sirius Black || Slytherin Sirius Black, Pureblood Politics, James Potter & Sirius Black aren’t friends, AU - Canon Divergence

The older brother by Arithra ( G | 1k words | one-shot )

Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero. Slytherin second year Sirius Black watches his younger brother's Sorting

or an AU in which both Regulus and Sirius Black are one year older than in canon and the changes that come with it, some expected, some not so much.

Regulus Black & Sirius Black || Gryffindor Regulus Black, Slytherin Sirius Black, roleswap-ish (not really)

Day In The Life by RainbowLookingGlass ( M | 2k words | one-shot )

Remus loves his boyfriend, Sirius Black, to pieces. But how does he handle it when he comes home to find Sirius a sobbing mess, flinging his brushes about and screaming curses at nobody in particular, and how did he come to this?

Sirius Black/Remus Lupin || BPD Sirius Black, Suicide Attempt, Self-Harm

Choice by orphan_account ( E | 5k words | three-shot )

This isn't the first time Sirius runs away from home.

Sirius Black, an heir to one of the wealthiest families in England, is well-known for his craving for all kinds of trouble. So of course this isn't the first time he does that.

But it's still fucking thrilling.

Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Sirius Black/Kingsley Shacklebolt || Omega Sirius Black, No Magic, Arranged Marriage

Sirius Black's Guide to Tranferring Schools and Families by Dia_Scarlett ( T | 31k words | completed )

Sirius Black's not so helpful or foolproof guide to transferring schools and famililes.

Contains:

How to Get Your Brother Away from Shitty Family. Also Known as: Self Sabotage.

How to Make Friends When You're Posh and Privileged. Also Known as: Forced Friendships for the Better.

How to Handle Your Admirers via a Pissed off Brother. Also Known as: Beauty and All it's Ugly Side Effects.

How to Tell Your Brother That You're In Love With His Best Friend. Also Known as: Love In All It's Undignified Glory. How to Run Away From a Shitty Family Whilst Severely Injured. Also Know as: Running on Cold Concrete.

Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Regulus Black & Sirius Black || French Sirius Black, Female Sirius Black, Slytherin Sirius Blackma

#harry potter #marauders era #hp marauders #fanfiction recommendation #hp fanfic recs #hp fic recs #fanfic recs #harry potter fanfic recs #sirius black #wolfstar #ao3 #ao3 fanfics #marauders #era 0

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orchestraytedkhaos · 1 year

Text

Rexsoka. Yeah, it's my ship. Still.

I mainly just lurk here, reading fanfic and enjoying the memes. But the angst of the last few has given me the courage to dive in and say a few words.

First, let me clear the air: Rebels was when I started shipping Rexsoka. Prior to their reunion on that show, it had never ever occurred to me to ship them. Despite having read the novels.

So, yeah, look, I totally get the opposition to shipping early Clone Wars Rex and Ahsoka. She's a child. He's a child too, arguably, although his accelerated maturation makes everything super messy. The military structure and fact that Rex is basically a slave means its got power issues galore. Then for those in the US, there is the whole 18 year old age of consent thing (noting, for good or ill, it's 16 most other places). I get why this squicks people. It's the SanSan of Star Wars.

But people grow up. Even on TV.

Season 7 Ahsoka is 17 going on 18, and effectively an adult. She's commanded armies, and just spent a year living and working independently. She is also obviously mature and, frankly, animated that way. Rex is a long term friend, they love and care for each other, and by the end of the season, she basically risks everything for him, and he for her. The episodes are also written in a very obviously shippy way, with the gazing, the chats, the meaningful converstions, the hand holding and the tears. Not to mention that sad, moonlit reunion in Tales of the Jedi.

And although I dont think it matters much, by this time, even taking Rex at double chronological age, the gap is pretty mild by fantasy standards. 17-18 and about 26, roughly the same as Buffy and age-corrected Angel, and way less than Han and Leia.

Fast forward to Rebels, and we have two mature adults with a shared history and goals, who love, trust and admire each other, share common interests, and are amongst the most important people in each other's lives. It's a believable and natural thing for that to progress to something more. The challenges to their relationship are things like, for Ahsoka, the lingering memory of the Jedi code and Anakin and Padme's destructive passion, and Rex's rapid aging, status and limited life experiences. It is those kinds of emotional and external barriers and their shared trauma that make the romance so interesting.

Season 7 + and Rebels Rexsoka is classic friends to lovers, and one of the nicest, softest and most realistic relationships in Star Wars. The opposition to it, and moraliatic shaming of those who like is, is something I simply don't get. It's bizarre. There are heaps of ships that are far, far more problematic (including Anakin/Padme) that don't get this hate.

Like, anti dudes, what exactly *is* the problem here? I suspect the it's that some people just want to get their hate on.

The recent flashbacks? Yeah, that one on Mandalore complicates thing, but I doubt they had stomping on shippers in mind when they cast Ariana, as I have seen suggested elsewhere. The more likely scenario is that - at about 14 yo when this was filmed - Ariana was totally perfect for the first flashback, and is perfect for playing young Ahsoka going forward. Even setting aside that she is an amazing actress, she's insanely athletic and can duel weild light sabres while knee walking though a twist. She's also already tied to Disney. She wasn't quite right for the part, and, I agree, that does make watching it in light of the fanfic a bit uncomfortable. But, it's not just a shipper issue. Putting an Ahsoka that looks and sounds like that in the episodes with the Martez sisters and Bo Katan is weird af too, and doesn't work. I doubt it is meant to.

Story-wise, the best and only real take is that the flashbacks aren't live action replays. The Mandalore scene doesnt even chronologically match what happened (Ahsoka is so fighting Saxon in that scene, which never happened). They are visions about Ahsoka and Anakin and their relationship, not live action replays. Both remember her as a child caught up in a war. Smoke, the fog of war, flashing lights and dying, faceless clones.

And Anakin and Rex.

What I take from these is that in Ahsoka's mind, and Anakin's too for that matter, Rex is always there for her. Standing in the chaos, calm and confident in himself and in her, and looking badass as heck. With an older Ahsoka it would have absolutely been smoking scene from her pov, and no way was it written otherwise. As an older Ahsoka remembering, it's hot. As younger Ahsoka, he's there as her protector and friend.

Do I do ever think this ship will play out on screen? Not, no explicitly. And, yeah, it probably is harder now because of that vision (although if they ever do film a younger Ahsoka series, they will undoubtedly be casting a young actor for Rex, and Ariana will, by then, be 18). But I don't think that was intentional, and I don't think that much has changed. It was always intended to be an "open for interpretation" relationship, written with the possibility not excluded. And I am good with that. Perhaps I even prefer it. Star Wars has a truly dreadful record with romance and, besides, too often cementing subtle or ust-based ships kill them. I just hope this hasn't, because it's still my ship and I love it.

#rexsoka #That flashback/vision #I am not shipping Ariana's Ahsoka #captain rex #Rex x Ahsoka #ahsoka #Rexsoka #star wars tcw #ahsoka is seventeen in the siege of mandalore #ahsoka tano

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infiniteeight8 · 10 months

Note

I loved your Titan/Infinity Stone AU! Any more ideas or inspiration for that 'verse?

Okay, I made you wait 6 days for it, but at least it's longer than usual! Here's more, with another appearance of the Soul Stone, as promised. Not much shippy in this one, though.

Edited to add links to: Part 1 Part 2

Stephen abruptly looks past Tony and yells, “Stop!”

Tony twists, one gauntlet coming up defensively, and sees that the Guardians have broken away from their discussion and are now standing over Thanos and the gauntlet that still adorns the corpse. The guy, Star-Lord maybe, is bending down. He doesn’t stop when Stephen yells, either, instead pulling the gauntlet off of Thanos’s hand and straightening up with it.

Stephen launches himself up off the rock he’d been sharing with Tony and strides over to them. “Trying to use that could kill us all,” he snaps sharply. “Even with the gauntlet, we’re not made to contain that kind of power.”

“Look, I’ve held an Infinity Stone before,” Star-Lord retorts. “I’m not all human, okay? All I want to do is get Gamora back, I’m not going to try to change half the universe.”

“There’s more than one stone on that gauntlet,” Stephen says. “Even if you knew how each of them worked, which I highly doubt, you know nothing about making them work together.”

Star-Lord takes an aggressive step towards Stephen. “For Gamora, I’m willing to take the risk!”

Stephen looks like he’s winding up for a fight, but then the lady with the antennae gasps. “Peter! The Soul Stone!”

“What?” Star-Lord—Peter, Tony guesses—looks down at the gauntlet and then swears, clutching it in both hands. The Soul Stone is gone. “Where the hell could it have gone?” He demands. “Gamora died for that thing, we can’t just lose it!”

Tony knows where the stone is, of course, but he’s not about to volunteer that without more information. Stephen knows, too, as the bearer of the Time Stone, but he keeps quiet as well.

You want to fill me in? Tony asks silently.

Gamora was one of those offered to me as I starved, the Soul Stone replies. It doesn’t sound remorseful, only matter of fact.

Are they right? Can you bring back the dead? The thought sends a chill through Tony. As much as he would love to get back people he’d lost, there was no one he trusted with that kind of power, and he had no illusions about the lengths people would go to to get a hold of it.

No, the stone says, thank God. But Gamora is not dead in the usual sense. She was sacrificed to me, and I hold all the souls so given.

Tony hasn’t decided yet, but he figures he ought to have all the information before he does. Could you give this one back?

Yes. But Reality would need to make her a new body. The old one is no longer serviceable.

Does Reality need a bearer for that? Tony isn’t thrilled at the idea of any of this group—now shouting at each other and Stephen while Star-Lord digs around in the dirt as if the Stone might have just fallen out of the gauntlet—the Reality Stone.

No. I could ask. They would probably agree. Moreso, if Time asks as well.

Tony blows out a breath and then drags Stephen away from the argument. They let him go, fortunately. Tony lowers his voice. “The Soul Stone says it can bring her back, since it was the one that killed her,” he says. “But it needs Reality to do it. It says it would help if Time asked, too. What do you think?”

Stephen casts a wary glance at the other group. “I think we have two more or less cooperative Infinity Stones, and they have three Infinity Stones, plus the gauntlet,” he murmurs. “That’s a fight I’d rather avoid. And… it would be nice to get someone back from this whole mess.”

“Yeah,” Tony says. For a moment, all he can feel is exhausted. “Yeah, it would.”

Turning, Tony eyes the arguing group. Maybe it would be better to just… take care of things, rather than jump into that. You need me to be hands-on with Reality? he asks the Soul Stone.

No, it replies. You wish me to return Gamora to this world?

Yes. Tony remembers the Soul Stone talked about being free. Please. This won’t hurt you? You mentioned being starved of purpose.

I do not need to consume souls, it reassures him. Thank fuck, because Tony hadn’t even thought to ask about that before. Merely be among them. Touch them, sometimes. Returning this one will have great impact on their souls.

Let’s do it, then.

Tony’s right gauntlet, where the Soul Stone is hidden, lights up with an orange glow. Then Stephen’s amulet does the same, in green. Just as Star-Lord and his group notice, Thanos’s gauntlet lights up red. He shouts and drops it. Red light beams out of Thanos’s gauntlet and collides mid-air with orange beams shooting out of Tony’s . They twine together, so brightly they make Tony squint, and then abruptly disappear, leaving a green skinned woman in their wake.

Is she supposed to be green? Tony asks silently. The Soul Stone sends him a wordless affirmation; everything is as it should be.

Star-Lord and the rest shout and mob the green woman. A happy reunion, it looks like.

Peter—not Star-Lord, Peter Parker—quietly sidles up between Tony and Stephen while the others are still celebrating. “I’m really glad they got their friend back,” he says. “But does anyone know how we’re supposed to get home? Because I’m pretty sure all the ships we brought, you know,” he makes an illustrative hand gesture, “crashed.”

(I confess, I have a bunch more ideas for this AU. Feel free to prompt, either in general or with specific things in this AU.)

#IronStrange

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lylahammar · 6 months

Note

Give it to you straight? Well I can’t do much of that cause I’m a lesbian but okay.

Flat out.

Attack on those predators

Zelbosa, is NOT okay.

But, please listen to this, shipping her with Zelda is not okay, Zelda was 16 until the day Urbosa died, and that means she is a MINOR. Urbosa in her diary states that she held Zelda as a baby, and was close friends with her mother the queen who was an adult when she had her daughter, meaning Urbosa was too. Urbosa is an adult, likely in at LEAST her forties, and is also confirmed by the creators to be a stand in mother to her. That also makes this borderline incest. Since this is the case; this ship is both pedophilia, and incest, and a minor legally cannot consent to a relationship with a man adult, that also makes it rape. It is also hugely uncomfortable to have someone raise you and then be in a relationship with them, that doesn’t happen

Look, imagine this. You were held as a baby by an adult woman who played a big role in raising you. You then are a 16 year old who has a MOTHERLY CONNECTION with said woman.

Then people say you should fuck and shit and start shipping you. Pretty disturbing right??

It doesn't matter that they're fictional, that's not an excuse because supporting a minor x adult relationship is still RAPE. A minor cannot consent to ANY relationship with an adult it will always be RAPE.

Anyone who ships Urbosa with Zelda?? That’s not Urbosa buddy. You don’t know shit about who Urbosa is. For one, she is a character from a children’s game and guess what??? Children’s characters don’t fuck!!! Second, Urbosa is a motherly character, and she’s a sweetheart. She doesn’t rape people, and yeah, sex with minors is rape. Third. That’s just. Not Urbosa buddy. Idc what you name her but that piece of shit doesn’t deserve to be compared to Urbosa, it should be put down tbh.

By saying “they’re fictional it doesn’t matter” or “all characters are depicted as 18+”, that is a sorry excuse to “justify” child porn and pedophilia. It doesn’t change the characters, and you still present them as they are in the game. As MINORS. Stating that they’re aged up doesn’t make you any less of a pedo, they’re still minors. Also, if you spend your entire life being raised by someone??? That’s borderline incest. You don’t fuck them. Aging up doesn’t change that.

By shipping this?? You are supporting incest. While Zelda and Urbosa aren’t actually related (still pedophelia btw) it’s still borderline incest as she is explicitly stated to be a stand in MOTHER to her. If you’re one of those FREAKS who thinks incest is qUirKy or HoT. No it’s not. Incest causes genetic defects because it biologically is NOT supposed to happen it isn’t cute or quirky, it is morally wrong and causes harm to both the other person and their offspring if they have any.

If you need an alternative to ship with Urbosa, make an oc for Zelda’s mom!! They were known to be close friend and are a very cute ship

bro I did one shippy drawing in 2018 when I was playing the game for the first time before I realized how much older urbosa was chill

#THIS ASK IS SO LONG LMFAO ARE YOU JUST COPY/PASTING THIS TO EVERYONE IN THE ZELBOSA TAG #lyla trivia hour #long post

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echidnapower · 16 days

Note

Now that Ash's series is over, how do you feel about the decision to write Misty out of the main cast at the end of Johto in 2002? As we know besides brief cameos and the last few eps of MPM, she really did stay off the show for 20 years, 6 series, and somewhere over 850+ or something episodes. Once Hoenn started and May was introduced, the writers likely decided sometime in 2003 they weren't going to bring misty back to the cast (her cameos with Togetic aired this year), and then that was basically it.

I always assumed the writers would have brought Misty back like how the Brock/Tracey switch was reversed after Orange, but I guess May became too popular it convinced the writers they had no reason to bring Misty back to the cast. So they slowly started phasing her out over AG as her cameos/specials started to dwindle, then by the time we got into 2005/2006 she got her final episode for over a decade. Then by the time DP started and they decided to bring Dawn in, that was basically it. They brought in a second new female companion for a second full gen, and Misty didn't get to appear in DP at all.

People tend to forget that long before the modern pokemon era (XY, SM, Journey's, etc), the writers seem to already decide back in the early 2000's from 2002-2010 during the Hoenn/DP era that they weren't going to bring Misty back full time. And as we know, they didn't. It's just kind of ironic to me when you stop to realize how long ago that was, 2002 was the beginning of the millenium, it over 22 years ago now, and Misty left at Gen 2 of the franchise whereas Ash's series went through Gen 8. She basically was only there for like 20% of Ash's series, and missed 80% of the anime.

Do you believe the writers were in the right to remove her? Since you write fanfics with Misty staying, did her departure shock you or did you think the anime couldn't go on without her? In the end I guess it doesn't matter now, but it says a lot so many original fans decided to continue to watch without her year after year.

Well as someone who considers Misty "best girl" I would never condone the decision to have Misty leave the group. What I will say though is that it was clear to me that the writers for the anime back in those early days had no idea what to do with Misty since her "goal" as it were was to become a water-Pokemon Master, but they never took any steps to have Misty actually try to BECOME that. She was playing a support role for Ash and that I feel like was an extreme disservice to her character.

What we did get though was an evolution of her personality over time, as she became less violent with her actions and started seeing Ash more as an equal rather than someone who needed her coaching to become a good trainer, and in that change, the ship started to solidify for me. There were plenty of "shippy moments" during Indigo, but the more Ash grew as a trainer the more it felt like there was room for their relationship to grow.

By the end of her tenure, it was clear to everyone (or me at least) that the very thought of leaving Ash to go take over the gym because of her irresponsible sisters was a source of emotional pain for her. In her mind, Ash wasn't just some brat that stole her bike, he had become her very best friend and (depending on how you choose to interpret it) she'd fallen in love with his passion and devotion to Pokémon, because that's what made him stand out from all the other trainers out there. The lengths he was willing to go to in order to make sure that his Pokémon became the best they could possibly be and the love that he showed them, it even trickled over to his human friends as well, which of course included her.

And even with all the other girls that came along after Misty's departure, you could tell that there was a special bond between her and Ash that was never replicated with anyone else. In my mind, Serena kissing Ash before she left isn't the most impactful scene in the anime, it's the fact that Ash shed tears over Misty leaving because he knew how much he was going to miss her. To my knowledge, aside from her and Brock, Ash didn't cry over anyone else's departure. It was always "until we meet again" and then off he went on his new journey. Even Serena didn't get a tear from Ash over saying goodbye. That honor falls only to Misty (and Brock).

All this being a long-winded explanation for what makes their relationship so special, I'll address the other part of the question. Do I think the writers were right to remove her? Of course not. I think they should have given Misty something to do rather than just stand there with Togepi and cheer Ash on, and in an anime where character growth coincided with aging (yes, aging as in getting older and more mature, something Pokémon is notoriously allergic to), eventually Misty would've had to be given something to do. Their solution I suppose was to give Misty a new goal, one that was separate from her travels with Ash. I don't like it, but I get it.

May and Dawn were the main characters for the next two generations of games and they were made into coordinators so that they wouldn't overlap with Ash's goals. Contests weren't available in B/W I don't think so having Ash travel with Hilda would've been redundant, so they gave Iris to Ash since she was the most...rambunctious character in those games, and Cilan took on the Brock role now that he was finally off pursuing his new path. Back to the old dynamic but it wasn't the same. Iris wasn't Misty, and neither was any of the other girls he went with, Serena included. That BOND just wasn't there. The closest one who got there IMO was Dawn, and ironically aside from Misty herself, I think Dawn got the most returns to the anime out of all the Pokegirls.

I started writing my story over a decade ago with the mindset of "fixing" the anime, by putting Misty back where she wanted to be all along, but now by aging them up a few years (which is what they should have been in the first place) I opened the door for Ash to actually see Misty as more than a friend, paying off all those little moments they'd previously shared where Misty caught his attention when they were traveling together and he saw her as more than just "Misty," she was also "girl" which bizarrely Ash understood better early on in the show and forgot later on somehow with any other male/female interactions. I made Ash and Misty finally get together, strengthening their bond even more as now the titles boyfriend and girlfriend make it so that Ash AND Misty get something out of the relationship. She hasn't done much in the way of training for herself, I'll admit, but the way I write her, Misty doesn't just stand there and support Ash, she's his go-to for companionship, a partner he can count on when the going gets tough, more than the others. She's put on a pedestal as someone special to him, which she already was but now the role is more defined. And Misty now gets to be a big sister to Dawn as their relationship has grown throughout my story. Dawn looks up to Misty now, seeing her as someone she also can turn to when she's struggling with something. Ash is her mentor with training, but in a world where human interactions are more than just "Let's battle," Dawn needs someone to help her navigate those turbulent waters, and that's big sister Misty.

I rambled for a long time and for that I apologize. The anime could and did go on without Misty, and other characters who took her place have their own roles and their own merits. I won't take that away from them. But Misty is special I believe because there's just that bond that is difficult to define in words between her and Ash. They can push each other to their limits unlike any other characters in the show can, and undoubtedly Ash sees her as his very best human friend aside from Brock. If the anime had allowed him to age and grow, there's no doubt in my mind that they would have gotten together anyway, because a bond like that can't be broken by distance. If anything, it would just inevitably bring them together again.

#pokeshipping #pokemon #misty #ash ketchum #commentary #I talked way too much

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keldae · 8 months

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Cute, shippy starters: 46) “Hey, have you seen the..? *Oh.*”

Devi loved cats, for the most part. Having grown up in the Lower City, stray cats had been all over the place; and most of them, after some obligatory introductory hissing, seemed to tolerate the little half-Elf thief well enough. Some had even learned that, if they were friendly enough, Devi might share her food scraps with them while she waited for her next mark. It hadn't been uncommon for Devi to have a cat curled up beside her while she had sat on a roof ledge, or prowling around her legs while she'd scoped out a new target. Her father would never have let her keep one for a pet, but she enjoyed giving scritches and pets where she could to the stray animals.

And then there was Tara.

Devi supposed her first mistake had been referring to Tara as “Gale's tressym” – she'd immediately gotten hissed at for that. She hadn't made the same mistake again, but Tara seemed to not ever forget a grudge. Even after Devi had come home with Gale to Waterdeep, Tara had regarded the thief with aloof suspicion. She was incredibly different from the normal cats Devi had grown used to, and even with regular usage of a potion to let her speak with animals, the two regularly butted heads.

She knew it caused Gale distress, that the woman he loved and the tressym he adored seemed to be permanently at odds. “Was she like this with Mystra too?” she had asked one day, watching Tara fly in pursuit of a hapless pigeon.

Gale had snorted. “Given how Mystra and I ended, and the sixth sense that animals have about such things, I like to think Tara would have tried to claw her eyes out if they'd ever met.” He'd smiled and given Devi a kiss on the temple. “I'm sure she'll warm up to you eventually. She's just… cautious with new people.”

That had been well over a tenday ago, and Devi still wasn't sure how long ‘eventually’ was supposed to last.

She sat in her favourite chair in Gale's tower, idly plucking at the strings on her violin. Gale himself was out today – he'd been summoned to some sort of meeting with another wizard, and the tone of the invitation had made it clear that Devi wasn't invited. Honestly, Gale had been more offended at the entire matter than she'd been. She'd sent him on his way with a kiss and a promise that she wouldn't find any mischief in his absence. And so far, she'd been good to her word, reading one of his many books and coming up with a new melody to play on the violin.

She sighed, looking out the window for a moment, then winced as her stomach lurched threateningly. Apparently whatever stomach flu she had somehow picked up (that Gale had dodged. Lucky bastard of a wizard.) was still not fully out of her system. And that had been the other reason Gale had been reluctant to go to this meeting with his colleague – he was worried about her, after the last four days of her waking up sick and struggling to keep anything she ate down.

Maybe it was the coffee he had introduced her to. Devi wrinkled her nose in thought. That was something she had never been introduced to as a poor Baldurian thief – perhaps the rich, stimulant brew was the cause of her–

Her eyes went wide, and she barely had time to set her violin on the table and grab an empty pail before her stomach violently rejected the two pieces of toasted bread and the banana she'd eaten less than an hour ago.

Wincing as her stomach eventually stopped revolting, she spat into the bucket, then shakily stood up, intent on finding water to rinse her mouth out before disposing of the vomited meal. “Fucking hells,” she mumbled, scowling down at her stomach. “Are you done yet?”

“Tsk, tsk,” said a voice behind Devi, one that made her jump. “Mr. Dekarios will not be pleased to learn that you're still ill.” With a flutter of her wings, Tara jumped up onto the table, regarding Devi with a stern look. “Had I thumbs, I would make you drink some tea.”

“Gale's been trying with the tea,” Devi said, finding a carafe of water in the kitchen and swishing a mouthful around to get the taste of bile out of her mouth. She spat into the bucket, still feeling Tara's eyes on her. “I think it helps a little bit?”

Tara lowly growled, then jumped to the counter. “Here,” she said, standing up on her hind legs to paw at a rack of herbs. “Mr. Dekarios keeps ginger up in this rack, and that should help with human – or half-Elf – nausea.”

“... Thank you.” Devi approached the counter, reaching around the fluffy head and wings to grab the large ginger root. Finding where Gale kept his kitchen knives, she carefully cut off a thin slice of the ginger, then put it in her mouth, wrinkling her nose at the strong taste. “Please work,” she mumbled as she put the rest of the root away, then moved to clean off the knife. She knew how particular Gale was with his knives.

Tara sat on the counter, tail swishing as she watched the thief clean and return the knife to its block. “I know you haven't been sleeping either,” the tressym said, “what with constantly waking up sick the last few nights. Go lie down.”

Devi frowned at the idea of taking orders from the winged cat. “I'm honestly all right,” she started to say. “I don't feel–”

She blinked as a paw batted at her arm. “You clearly are not all right,” Tara scolded. “And I'll not have Mr. Dekarios fretting over if you're getting enough rest while you’re so obviously ill. He's made it quite clear that he cares a great deal about you.” The tressym shifted her weight, then jumped onto Devi’s shoulders, making her stagger with a little grunt at the weight of a heavy winged cat perching on her. “To bed with you, Deviali.”

“It’s Devi,” the thief muttered. “What about if I just sit and read or–”

Tara growled threateningly.

Devi sighed, admitting defeat. “Fine, I’m going.” She wouldn’t ever admit it to Tara, but she was tired, after four mornings of waking up sick before the time that she and Gale normally got up. And it was impossible to quietly vomit, as she’d figured out the hard way – Gale was always at her side within a minute of her lunging out of bed, holding her hair back and looking at her with open concern in his eyes. “What do you care about me?” the half-Elf asked the tressym as she started making her way to the bedroom, with a longing glance at her violin. “You don’t seem to like me as it is.”

Seemingly noticing which way Devi’s eyes went, Tara lightly smacked the side of her face with her paw to make her focus on going to bed. “My opinions are moot. Mr. Dekarios adores you, which means that it becomes my duty to look after you like I do him. I’ve looked after that wizard since he was a boy – I’m not about to fly off because he picked you.” She settled across the back of Devi’s neck, like an oversized, winged scarf. “And if I don’t look after you, then it becomes the dog’s job to tend to you, and he is not a suitable caretaker.”

“Scratch is perfectly fine,” Devi protested, obligated to defend what she had come to think of as ‘her’ dog since the day he’d shown up in camp. “And he doesn’t try to nursemaid me or anything–”

“My point exactly. You’re obviously ill, and dogs, while loyal, do not understand taking care of two-legged creatures with no self-preservation instincts.”

“... I have perfectly fine self-preservation instincts,” Devi grumbled as she entered the bedroom and sat down on her side of the bed.

“That’s not the impression I got from hearing Mr. Dekarios’ stories about you during your little adventure,” Tara disagreed. She hopped down from Devi’s shoulders, then settled on the thief’s lap, giving her a pointed look. “If I have to make you lie down…”

Devi thought about arguing with the cat, then saw Tara warningly flex her front paws, revealing sharp claws under her fur, and thought better of it. “I can’t believe I just lost an argument with you,” she complained, laying down and curling up on her side.

Tara’s tail twitched in an almost smug manner. “Please feel free to ask Mr. Dekarios why he doesn’t pick fights with me anymore.” She climbed up onto Devi’s hip and started kneading the half-Elf through her trousers. “Ugh, you’re far too thin still. Is Mr. Dekarios not feeding you sufficiently?”

“If Gale could feed me himself, he would,” Devi muttered. “It’s hard to eat when everything he makes, no matter how good, keeps coming back up.”

“If you wake up sick again tomorrow,” Tara mused, “I’m going to have to tell him to fetch a cleric or visit an apothecary. Then again, perhaps he’ll bring something home tonight for you to feel better.” She jumped down to the mattress and, to Devi’s surprise, curled up against the thief’s stomach. “You are not to move from this bed until Mr. Dekarios returns home this evening, and you do not want to know what the consequences will be if you disobey me. Are we understood?”

“I’m being bullied into taking a nap by a tressym,” Devi groused, and promptly got batted by one of Tara’s wings. “Ow!”

“Somebody has to ensure that you rest and recover, if you’re not going to look after yourself.” Tara’s vivid eyes met Devi’s without blinking. “Now, I will allow you to offer scratches to my ears, just this once. Do not get used to it.”

Devi eyed the tressym for a moment, then slowly reached to slowly pet the top of Tara’s head, rubbing behind her ears. She was quickly rewarded with the low rumble of a pleased purr, vibrating against her stomach. Despite the half-Elf’s reluctance to take a nap, the feeling of curling up in bed with a large cat – or tressym – snuggled up against her upset stomach did feel very soothing. She sighed, then let her eyes drift closed, and felt Tara’s purring grow a little louder, as though the tressym approved. “You’re still the worst,” she muttered.

“Likewise, Deviali,” Tara smugly said, her purring never stopping. “Go to sleep.”

“It’s Devi,” the thief grumbled, even if part of her knew that the tressym would always use her despised full name, until the day Devi married Gale and took his last name for her own. Then it would probably become “Mrs. Dekarios”.

That actually has a nice ring to it, she thought as she felt herself slowly drift away into sleep, lulled by the sounds of Tara's purring.

—

Gale frowned slightly as he entered his tower, expecting to be greeted on his return home. The only lifeform to welcome him was Scratch, curled up by the fireplace; the dog looked up and thumped his tail against the floor, tongue lolling out of his mouth happily. “Where’s Devi, hmm?” the wizard asked, kneeling to give the dog a scratch behind the ears.

Scratch wuffed, then set his head back down on his front paws. “Upstairs,” he said – Gale, once again, was grateful for the spell that let him speak with animals. “She’s been upstairs with Tara all day.”

That got a small wince from Gale – he almost wondered if there had been bloodshed in his home during his absence. “Good boy, Scratch,” he said, standing back up and making his way through the tower. It was suspiciously quiet in his residence: no Tara trotting or flying up to see him with a meow of greeting, no sounds of Devi playing her violin, no pretty half-Elf emerging from a doorway with a smile on her face to see her betrothed. He sighed, wondering if Devi and Tara had managed to kill each other while he’d been stuck all day with his wizarding colleagues. “Devi?” he lowly called out. “Tara?”

No sign of Tara anywhere – perhaps she was out hunting pigeons again. But Devi should have been here. Gale poked his head into the common room, then into his study – no sign of his favourite thief in either room, besides the violin resting on a table beside the window. Perhaps the bedroom, then? Gods knew that she hadn’t been resting well, with waking up sick every morning the past few days. He could only pray that the potions in his satchel, purchased from the apothecary only an hour ago, would cure whatever was wrong with her. He approached the bedroom door, only slightly ajar, and gently pushed it open. “Have you seen –” he started to say as he looked in – a second later, he went silent, his eyes softening. “Oh.”

On the bed, Tara looked up from where she was curled against a sleeping Devi, the tip of her tail swishing before her nose. “Not a word from you about this compromising position,” she quietly said, ears tilting back slightly. “It was the only way to make sure she rested. She was ill again this afternoon while you were gone.”

“Again?” Gale frowned worriedly as he sat on the edge of the bed; Tara stood up and stretched, then climbed up onto his shoulders, curling up around his neck and purring away. “Thank you for looking after her, Tara – I know you disapprove of her, but I love her.”

“I know you do. And it is good to see you happy with her, Mr. Dekarios.” Tara carefully adjusted her wings so she wouldn’t hit Gale in the back of the head with the large appendages. “She’s slept the last two hours after being ill again. You did stop at an apothecary for something to cure her, yes?”

“I did – and I’ve been assured that the potions I bought should fix anything.” The wizard carefully leaned down to Devi’s face, pressing gentle kisses over her forehead, her eyes, her cheek. “Hello, my love,” he murmured as Devi started to stir. “Did you sleep well?”

Devi’s eyes slowly opened as she looked up at Gale; her lips pulled up in a smile once she recognized him. “Hey, you,” she quietly said, reaching up to kiss him. “Welcome home.”

Gale smiled fondly as he returned Devi’s kiss, stroking his hand through her long hair. “And it feels the most like home when you’re here to grace it with your presence,” he softly chuckled. “Are you feeling better? Tara mentioned you were ill again.”

“Traitor,” Devi muttered, frowning up at the smug tressym, before slowly sitting up. “I… think I’m all right? At least for–” She froze, eyes widening as her hand settled on her stomach. “... Shit.”

Instinct had Gale stand up and get the hell out of Devi’s way, a second before she was on her feet and fleeing to the water closet. He frowned, worry becoming full-fledged anxiety as he started fishing around in his satchel for a potion. “Tara, can you stay with her for another minute while I get her some water?”

Tara was off his shoulders and flying after Devi almost before he’d finished speaking. “Do hurry, Mr. Dekarios,” she called back. “I am not an expert on half-Elves, but something is certainly wrong.”

#bg3 fic #bg3 #post-epilogue #gale of waterdeep #gale x tav #gale dekarios #Deviali #tara the tressym #tara was fun to write #her and devi bickering pleases me #as much as Tara being a reluctant mother to Devi #also... oh Devi that isn't a stomach flu you've got going on #for the record #this has been sitting in my inbox since 11 November 2017 #oldest prompt that's been waiting for me #Kel answers prompts a million years later #Kel writes

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tired-reader-writer · 6 months

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OH, I realised I forgot to respond to the last part of your ask before, so... Ranfarid OTP! If you do have any thoughts about them to share I'm listening.

And also I was thinking about Winds of Wolfsong chapter 2 again and while at first I was floored by the shock of Kazai's arrival on the scene, now I've calmed down about it a bit I'm also a little worried about Areyan? Hopefully he didn't get too much water in his lungs and will recover okay, I worry there might be some ill effects (and I know that would make Isfan and Shapur feel even worse about what happened and will totally not help matters with Kazai either).

Ranfarīd! Such a lovely ship name! So much so that I'm now questioning my decision to rename Ranna, lol 😭

As for the feels... here's the gist/base of it:

Ranna saying something along the lines of “I've never once thought it was a good thing to be born. I mean, look around us. The world is a shit pit on fire and everyone's convinced it's just fine.” to Alfarīd one time and then much later, in a different context perhaps, Alfarīd calls back to it with a “One day I'll make you say ‘I'm glad I was born’, just you wait!”

Also something like: “I'm not Sherine. Sherine is dead. Sherine was unwanted. Sherine was hated. Sherine was abandoned. Nobody came looking for Sherine. But Ashaya has big sis and Areyan and everyone.” “And Ashaya has me.” (Ashaya being a name I'm contemplating making Ranna's permanent name in the fic!)

As for some less shippy Ranna things:

“Who am I, you ask?” the wily miscreant says with a mocking lilt. They push their hair back, and suddenly realization hits Hilmes like a sack of rocks.

They look exactly like—

“Well, it should be obvious with a glance, don't you think?”

And as for poor Areyan at the end of chapter 2... boy will feel the effects of this incident for Quite A Bit™.

BUT. Not to spoil chapter 3 but. Grandmama Eihon makes an entry and so while he'll suffer a bit, it's nowhere near the level he would go through without Eihon, nor his life be in as dire of a danger.

Isfan will also start learning to heal.

Areyan here will be always frailer than canon Arslan though, their circumstances are just too different— he'll have bouts of being down bad, but he'll always have his family by his side.

As for the drama between Shapur and Kazai though... stay tuned!

#arslan senki #the heroic legend of arslan #heroic legend of arslan #wolfpack au #winds of wolfsong #arslan #areyan (arslan)#ranna (oc)#or should I say ashaya?#alfarīd #alfarid #alfreed #hilmes #eihon (oc)#isfan #shapur #kazai (oc)#a mess! and kinda revamping Ranna's backstory as well

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mothman-can-write · 8 months

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hi !!! i saw u said you were open for prompts, i mean this is kinda less of a prompt really, but like i loved that blackhill mission transcript thing you did a while ago and would be really cool to see some more stuff in the same vein ig ! but also maybe something like a kinda blackhill first meeting kinda thing idk !! i just love your work tho ! you really have the ability to make me feel all the emotions

OOOOO i just thought of this whilst writing this but maybe something like with clint teasing nat ab having like feelings for maria or something ?? idk i just love ur writing ! sorry these are kinda shitty hahah

NGL I took this prompt and mangled it in my hands. I heard first meeting and my brain was immediately like well that could go seventeen thousand different ways, so I sorta mashed in Clint's teasing to go along with it and made it a little more suggestive than outright shippy. Realistically, I think if Natasha is only meeting Maria for the first time, she's probably still in a place where she's not totally open to such self indulgent things as having a crush

Also, this isn't a mission transcript but I'd love to do more of them that one was really fun! I just don't really have any good ideas for the sort of things they'd have to talk about in the field besides dying haha

ANYWAY enough rambling, though you're all familiar with my inability to shut up these days. ~3k under the cut of Clint being a ballache and nat being sceptical but gay

The only person that doesn’t treat Natasha like she’s a project – or a live wire – is Clint. He’d had his fair share of looking at her with those careful eyes, something behind them that made her teeth itch in her gums like some trained dog. He doesn’t do that so much anymore, not unless she’s in a particular state and doing a very bad job at hiding it. She likes him, she thinks. He might be one of the first people in her entire life that she can truly say she likes.

Naturally, she finds herself in his quarters more often than her own. She lays on his bed as he works on something probably explosive enough to kill them both if he sneezes, and she ignores the pip of her emails as she braids a small strip of hair under her ear. She’s bored, if she’s honest, but she doesn’t want to waste her first free morning of the past fortnight on something so trivial as emails. Or helping Clint.

“You not gonna answer her?” he says without looking up from his work. He holds it close to his face, something far too small in his tweezers.

Natasha’s fingers pause in untangling her braid. “How do you know who it is?”

He still doesn’t turn in his seat, matter of fact when he speaks. “You have a different tone for Hill.”

“How did you figure that out?” She tries not to scowl at him, but she still isn’t used to feeling so see-through. Quite frankly, she’d like to be as opaque as possible, but she seems to have grown rather attached to someone with x-ray vision.

Clint puts his miniature contraption down and turns to her at last. She’s not fond of the smile on his face as he leans over the back of his chair. “You’re not the only spy on the ship. Also, you weren’t trying very hard to hide it.”

“Her emails are usually more important,” Natasha argues, not quite sure why she feels the need to defend herself on it.

Clint grins ever wider. “I never asked why. I just thought you had a massive crush on her.”

Natasha scowls fully this time. “I’ve never met her.”

He shrugs. “I don’t know what’s in those emails.”

“Shut up.”

She reaches for her phone anyway and pointedly ignores the way Clint watches her. The email is much the same as they always are, telling her about meetings and progress and such. She’s overtly professional in every one, but now that she’s thinking about it, Natasha likes the words she uses – just slightly like she enjoyed reading dictionaries as a child. Very, very rarely, Maria will let something slip in her emails that is almost like humour, and Natasha doesn’t tell Clint that she actually does enjoy receiving emails from her just for the fact that she feels a little special when that happens. She’s heard the rumours; she knows not to expect giggles and grins when it comes to the Assistant Director.

In the end, she doesn’t bother to respond to the email anyway and Clint has already turned back to his work. “Not in the mood to sext her back?”

She scowls at the back of his head. “It sounds like Laura needs to watch her back.”

“Oh, god,” he laughs. “Gross. Absolutely not. Not my type.”

“What makes you think she’s mine?”

“You need someone to match your weirdness.”

Natasha wishes she had something to throw at him. She won’t admit that she intrigues her in small ways. She doubts she’s any different from every other CEO and government lead in the world, but some small part of her feels thankful to her faceless emails. She could’ve easily overridden Clint’s choice, could’ve had her put down before she could even think to beg for forgiveness. But she’d given her a chance, and she’d kept in contact despite her supposed overbooked schedule every day since. Maria held her life in her hands at one point, and she’d given her another shot at it.

Despite everything, Natasha still doesn’t sleep well. Or, rather, because of everything, she supposes. One good month doesn’t erase a lifetime of bad – and she’s really a little hesitant to say that this month has even been good in many senses of the word. She wonders if the nights will ever get easier on her with time, or if she’s stuck with these hours of restlessness and sweat for the rest of her life. It’s not a nice thing to think about, and it doesn’t really do all that much to distract her from the shadows that still play behind her eyelids or the way the shapes of the room still seem to swim around the edges. So, she swings her legs over the side of her bed and scrubs at her face with her hands. She can appreciate, at the very least, that she isn’t handcuffed to her bed here. Somehow, that had been a hard thing to get used to. She still sleeps with one arm by the headboard.

There aren't many things to do at this hour. Clint has told her countless times that she’s perfectly welcome to pester him at any time of the night if it would make her feel even minutely better. He says he understands, and she believes him enough from the way his past lines his own face, but it doesn’t make it any easier to put into practice.

She doesn’t have a plan as she steps out into the corridors. She dresses like she’s going to the gym on the off chance that she might be able to sneak into it and punch something until she’s sweaty for reasons more tangible. She wishes the firing range was usable at this hour, but she’s sure that’s much less subtle. Still, there are some nightmares you can only really feel better by shooting at. Maybe she’ll bat her eyelashes into an hour or so at the targets tomorrow.

She passes the odd agent as she trails around the corridors and considers that the ship never really sleeps entirely. There’s always someone on the night shift, always someone pottering around with something. She thinks it would be nice to work when it’s so quiet. Maybe she should ask about changing her hours. It might be a little soon.

The gym isn’t so far from her quarters, and by the time she reaches it her shirt still feels sticky at her back and her stomach still feels like it’s alive in her ribcage. Her hopes are low enough to limbo as she presses her hand to the door, and she could almost sigh with relief when the door opens easily. She’s not against breaking in, but she likes to think she’s been doing a pretty good job of building a better reputation lately. Maybe not socially, but Maria’s emails haven’t managed to sound short lately – not since the last time she’d bypassed what she maintains was a criminally simple encryption on one of Clint’s jobs.

The gym is utterly silent at this time of the morning, which is entirely unsurprising. She doubts anyone else sensible gets out of bed for another hour or two, let alone starts their training regime. Generally, agents are allowed the privilege of breakfast before they’re worked to the bone. Natasha’s never been a fan of food so early in the morning.

She doesn’t really know when she fell out of the habit of scanning each room on this ship like someone will be waiting to haul her out of it, and she blames it firmly on her lack of sleep and nightmare slurred thoughts when she doesn’t notice the other body in the gym until it’s too late.

“I did wonder,” someone says, and Natasha’s attention snaps to one of the benches on the far side, half covered from the entrance.

It takes Natasha an almost embarrassingly drawn out moment to place her features, and she’s sure she only half succeeds in hiding her surprise into an intrigued eyebrow. The Assistant Director didn’t really strike her as the type to be in the gym when everyone is supposed to be sleeping.

“Wonder what?” she asks instead of every other question that gnaws at her head. She stays firmly planted in the middle of the room.

“Who would come in at this time.”

Oh. She’s not wondering about Natasha. She doesn’t really know what that feels a mote disappointing. She hates it when Clint asks how she’s sleeping. Maybe she just doesn’t like lying to him.

“I thought it would be empty.”

Maria places her water bottle beside her on the bench and makes absolutely no move to stand up yet. Somehow, Natasha finds it unnerving, even if she’s taller here. “It usually is,” she says simply.

Her eyes bore into her in a way that makes the back of her neck crawl. Something about her says that she’s calculating, that she’s looking at Natasha and breaking her down into little bite sized pieces. Natasha has never liked being dissected. Maria’s eyes are very blue.

“Do you usually spend your mornings here?” she asks, if only to stop Maria from burning holes into her skull and reading her thoughts directly.

It works, in the way that her gaze flicks away for the briefest moment before pinning her again in that same cool tone. “I guess you could call this morning.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

Maria’s eyes soften ever so slightly around the corners, and Natasha would almost call it a squint. “I’ve made a bit of a habit at this point, yes.”

She almost seems reluctant to admit it, and Natasha can’t help the way she wants to pick this woman apart. She has always liked puzzles, and people are just some of the more complex the world has to offer. She thinks she understands the rumours a little more now, even through this uncanny meeting. She wonders if Maria feels her own searching gaze as intently.

Maria stands at last, and Natasha had almost forgotten how tall she is. She thinks she preferred it when she was sitting. “Don’t let me stop you,” she says, and Natasha is silently thankful for the way that answers her question. Again, not that she wouldn’t break the rules. It’s just much harder to make an excuse when the Assistant Director is the one who catches you.

“I would’ve expected the AD to send me back to my quarters,” she notes, as forward as ever when it gets her information. She’ll admit this woman seems to be intriguing. She’s curious as to just why she’s indulging her so far.

Maria’s expressions are all very small, mere suggestions of emotions that only make Natasha want to pick her apart. “That would make me more of a hypocrite than I already am,” she says simply, almost smiling. “Are you getting on okay?” she asks instead , and her eyes are on her like she’s deciphering her again. She’s closer now, making direct eye contact, and Natasha holds it like a game. “Besides the obvious, of course.”

Natasha tries not to scowl. God, does she hate when people pretend like they know her. “What’s the obvious?”

Maria raises one eyebrow ever so slightly, her expression caught somewhere to amusement. “Did the Red Room have you in the routine of training at four in the morning?”

“Sometimes.” They both know that’s not the reason that she’s here, as much as Natasha wishes Maria didn’t.

Her eyes are almost soft. Almost like she truly cares about her. Natasha doesn’t like to let herself believe the sort of things that might cost her later. “Half of the people on this ship struggle with it, Romanoff,” she says, nearly gentle in the silence around them. “You don’t have to be ashamed of it.”

She can almost imagine her setting a heavy hand on her shoulder as she says it, though Maria remains in her own space. She’s still slightly too close for what Natasha is used to however, and it’s the first time she realises the darkness under her eyes. Her face is lined, something bone deep that she doubts ever goes away. It lends her a certain sort of…imperfection that makes her seem a whole lot more human. For everything she’s heard, though she knows to take gossip with a healthy grain of salt, she could almost imagine Hill to be some sort of robot, some living excel sheet.

Standing in front of her, she sort of just looks like a woman who could do with some sleep. She looks like a woman who has spent the last who-knows-how-many hours beating out her own past the same way Natasha intends to. She won’t call it affection. It doesn’t mean Natasha likes the way she looks straight through her any more.

“You have any tips?” she says, aiming for something playful. She really, really just wants her to stop looking at her like she can figure her out right here in the middle of the room. Maybe if she seems better than she is, she’ll leave her alone. She’d rather her conduct a genuine vivisection out on the boxing ring floor if she’s going to continue to examine her.

She’s certain Maria almost smiles at that, a tug at the corner of her lips that is almost sad, almost conspirational. She shrugs ever so slightly. “Shooting things usually helps.”

Natasha tries not to scowl like a child. As if she wouldn’t be there right now if she could get away with it. “I’m on supervised arms training.”

This time, Maria does smile, though Natasha thinks she’d have missed it if she blinked. “Not from tomorrow,” she says plainly, and Natasha can only watch her walk away without another word.

The door closes behind her, and Natasha lets herself furrow her eyebrows as deeply as she likes. She is overtly aware that she is not being let off of supervised training tomorrow. She’s aware that she has been seen as a weapon and an explosive since the moment Clint forgot that he was meant to shoot her. Somehow, she doesn’t think that Maria is one to tease.

It makes it very hard to punch things as effectively as she’d like to when she can only think after Maria. She wonders what keeps her up at night. She wonders what else she does to get rid of the shadows. She wonders why on earth she would let her off of the hook so early. For all they know, Natasha might decide to defect back. She might’ve been biding her time until she could get a hand on one of those guns outside of the range. She’d never even dream of it, of course. She’d rather be supervised for every split second a gun is in her hands for the rest of her life than have to go back to her life before. She wonders just how deep Maria managed to dig. She wonders if she really is all that transparent after all.

She finds herself in Clint’s quarters again as thoughtlessly as breathing. Every spare minute in her schedule that lines up with his, she’ll spend hiding from the rest of the world. This time, she’s sitting in his chair, her knees resting against the edge of his desk so that she can spin it slightly from side to side. Clint is behind her in his bunk, his arms tucked up behind his head and his eyes closed. It’s only 2pm. Natasha wishes she could have a nap too.

“Is she always like that?” she says on a whim, her thoughts still stuck on tired eyes and snap decisions.

“Like what?” Clint asks, completely brushing over her lack of context.

“So…intense.”

“Ah, we’re back on Hill. Yes.” He falls silent again, and Natasha listens to his breath. “Hold on.” His eyes open and his head turns on his pillow to face her. “Did you meet her? When?”

“This morning.”

“You were at the range this morning.”

“Before that.”

“You were asleep before that.” She doesn’t answer, and that tells him everything in as little effort as possible. “Natasha.”

She doesn’t meet his eye. “It’s better than moping.”

“You don’t need to mope. You can come wake me up.”

“But then you don’t sleep.”

“Tasha, do you really think I’m sleeping well either half the time?”

She stays silent again, staring intently at the dimples Clint’s chair has made in the carpet.

“How did you even find her?” he asks eventually, giving up the argument for the countless time. “She’s practically booked to the minute.”

“She was in the gym when I got there.”

“I’m going to skip over the fact that you’d rather punch something until you bleed than come and bug me. Was it worth it? Was she all sweaty and hot? Did you two finally canoodle in person?”

She doesn’t dignify his jokes with a response, her thoughts plain in her expression. “I don’t think she sleeps well either. She looked tired.”

Clint grins a little. “You paying attention to her face?”

Natasha scowls at him. “It’s normal to look someone in the eye.”

“Mhm…” He retucks his arms under his head, settling back against his pillow. “It’s for sure normal to think about them all morning.”

“She took me off of probation,” she says, almost in a rush, like maybe this will change the subject – maybe a little bit like she’s admitting something.

“Oh you definitely have a crush on her. It’s like she’s trying to get in your pants. Remind me never to read your emails.”

Natasha only squints at him, wishing once again that she had something appropriate to throw. The urge distracts her enough that she never does reject the notion. And when she finds herself imagining Maria’s secret little smile in those few and far casual emails, she decides that Clint doesn’t need to know. She’s not been given many chances in her life, and she thinks she could make space in her life for two instead of one. She wonders if Maria would ever want a gym buddy on long nights and promptly decides not to think any deeper into it.

#words #tumblr exclusive #prompts #blackhill #natasha romanoff #maria hill #clint barton

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