#let Matt have his normal 80 something human years

[andreal831]

This fandom needs to back off of Matt Donovan and Zach Roerig

Starting with the ridiculous: Zach Roerig and Julie Plec never dated. It's ridiculous that I have to say this. There is a blurry picture of him leaning in to Julie Plec at some point. I even tried to do the work for you all and could not find one shred of evidence of an actual kiss. Y'all are just wild for this rumor. If anything, my search revealed that Ian and Zach were in a relationship. I mean look at that affection.

Also, with just a tiny bit of research, we can find out that Zach was in a relationship when he started the show and, due to issues at home, he ends up fighting for full custody of his two year old daughter while on the show. The only romantic connection there is any reports on is with Candice King and that was relatively short lived. Otherwise Zach was just a single father, trying to raise and support his daughter.

Now people will try to say Zach is racist as well. I've heard he was racist because of dating Plec. See earlier paragraph. Or that he made racist comments to Kat. Again, there is zero evidence of this. People keep pointing to this interview saying that he either does the Nazi salute or a black power fist and it is such a reach it's ridiculous. He is looking at Kat because the question asked related to Bonnie and Matt and he reaches forward as a hand gesture and then raises his fist in a fairly generic way.

I can't tell if people get Matt Davis and Zach confused because he plays Matt or if people just love to hate on Zach because he plays Matt. Either way, it is disgusting to spread rumors about someone being racist when there is no evidence as far as I can tell. It's also terrible to distract from the actual racism that Kat had to deal with on the show.

From every interview I've seen he seems like such a sweet person. He even said working on the show was a "healing process" and yet the fandom treats him like this. Zach goes to the panels and none of his coworkers seem uncomfortable and avoid him. Not that them liking someone means that person is good, most of them still interact with Matt Davis and yet unfollowed Michael Malarkey.

Now onto Matt Donovan.

First of all, the fact that y'all pretend this man isn't attractive tells me all I need to know. Objectively, Zach Roerig is attractive. You can not like his character but you all just sound goofy.

The biggest complaint with Matt is that he is "useless," but this to me just shows you are watching the show for either the romance or attractive people and not for storytelling.

The role of the "human" in fantasy is so important. We, as an audience, are humans and we need to have a threshold character. A character that reminds of that even though we are rooting for the supernatural creatures, they are still not the good guys. It's why supernatural stories often revolve around humans. It gives the show the humanity that it would be in danger of losing if it just focused on the predatory species. Matt reminds us of the humanity that is at stake in the show.

Matt is particularly important in this show because he not only the sole human in a pack of supernatural creatures, but he is the only one without financial privilege in TVD. Matt not only comes from a family that is struggling financially, but his parents are gone and his sister is struggling with addiction. Matt is working it appears full time while in high school full time. All of his friends are going to parties and given cars and clothes, planning for college; while Matt is having to figure out how to afford his mom's mortgage/rent. Season 1 opens up focusing on how much Elena is struggling with the death of her parents but dismissed Matt's struggles as some lovesick teenager. When in reality Elena at least had a support system. Sure Jeremy was spiraling like Vicki, but Elena and Jeremy had Jenna. Matt was struggling with the purposeful abandonment of his parents and his sister's drug addiction with zero support system. He even loses his childhood friends when Elena and he break up. He only really has Tyler, who, let's be honest is not the best friend in Season 1.

He is also the first person in the show to lose someone due to the supernatural. His sister ends up attacked and in the hospital and he then has to figure out how to pay for that while taking care of Vicki who is clearly struggling even more than normal. When Vicki does end up dead, he knows there is more too it and the entire town, including his friends, gaslight him. Matt has every right to hate vampires. They murdered his sister in cold blood.

Matt is so devastated by Vicki's death that is haunts him throughout the show. He even risks his life just to talk to her ghost for a few moments.

People say Matt hates the supernatural, and he did, but he had reasons. And despite that, he was always there for his friends. Even when he was terrified, and in much more of a risk than his vampire friends, he was always there for them.

Yes, Matt is the one driving the truck when Elena dies and Stefan saves Matt over Elena, but none of that is Matt's fault. He was attempting to save his friend's life with Jeremey's help. How is that any different than Elena having Stefan compel Jeremy to leave town? Let's also not forget who helps Elena feed in her early days. But the fandom never wants to give him credit for that.

Matt is constantly used, berated, manipulated, and compelled by the supernatural around him. Mystic Falls needed someone like Matt to stand up for them since they were unaware of the supernatural world. Even the "good vampires" killed humans. Matt was trying to protect his town.

The last complaint ties it all in, that Matt only survived so long on the show because he was dating Julie Plec. Again, that's a lie. He never dated Julie, and it especially had nothing to do with the show writing. I would also like to point out that the character Matt is based on, Matt Honeycutt, in the book never dies. So why are we surprised he doesn't die in the show? Matt had a lot of close calls and even had a Gilbert ring for protection. No one ever asks why Steven McQeen (Jeremy) doesn't die or assumes it's because he was "sleeping his way to the top." These assumptions are immature and baseless.

All Matt wants to do is live a normal life, something he had to fight much harder than the rest of them for. He is the most consistent friend out of all of them. People love to say "how did Matt get so many girls?" Because he's nice. Because he respected them and fought for them, even if they didn't deserve it. They would all have been better off ending up with Matt.

Honestly, Matt and Cami's purpose are similar to me and both of the actors deserve such a huge apology from this fandom. Some of y'all need to learn to separate a show from reality.

[wherearemyglassesbro]

Ok ok how about an incredibles AU with the FACES fam?~ :D

Bruh there is a very very very good fic out there somewhere that I read a loooong time ago with this exact scenario so if someone’s got the link to that bad boy PLEASE send it in cause it was so good!! Anywho-

Fran and Art were heroes in Europe but when the Big Bag Hero Lawsuit thing happened and they had to go into hiding, they were sent to the USA where they could be more...lowkey...in the suburbs. Gross.

Artie is ‘Mr. Incredible’ because he is the exact opposite of flexible. He’s solid and stubborn like a hunk of cement. Francis is the graceful one that stretches his arm all the way across their house to pinch his arse which is NOT funny >:( maybe just a little

They were great heroes! They didn’t really work together but they crossed paths occasionally and really got to know eachother when they got to attend public events for charity and such. Their rivalry runs deep because ‘haha stinky French people’ ‘haha your foods bland’ and then their bickering escalated and it was just fun to argue! They’d kiss and make up later away from the cameras

Once they were forced to retire, they got married in America and out of all of the states they could have been relocated to fuckin Arizona. Arthur couldn’t take the heat for more than a week and caused a disturbance on purpose so they’d have to be relocated again. The government didn’t like that but Art was NOT going to spend the rest of his life sunburnt. They finally settled in Michigan haha my state ayeeee and made their cheap, 80s house into a refurbished home. It took awhile but they did it

^^both of them were put in jobs they didn’t like. Arthur was forced into insurance work and Francis has prior restraunt experience back home so he was stuck in a greasy Italian place that was very far from being actually Italian. Both were miserable for a loooong time until they were able to finally pay off debts, get a nice car and renovate their kitchen. They weren’t feeling on edge all the time now so they settled into a routine and worked on communicating better as well as bringing a more positive attitude home with them

And a year later they decided they wanted kids. So naturally they contacted the government to see what they could do. Since they were supers they couldn’t be trusted with real human babies. There were plenty of super babies that needed families! So first, they took in Mattheiu. A Canadian baby that was taken away from his mum since she didn’t know anything about supers. Matt was a very easy baby, he didn’t cry much but his disappearing act gave Francis grey hairs from stress.

Then they got Michelle, a super fast little girl!! Arthur always wanted a girl :’) Michelle is always nice but her temper gets in the way sometimes “I don’t understand! I want to run! Why can’t I show off at school!” “Because you can’t, Chelly” “I want to! I want to prove I’m faster than all of the boys!” “We went over this, poppet, no powers outside of the house” “UGH!!!!!!!”

And finally they get baby Alfred. His powers are unknown since he’s so young but oooooh jeez he’s a cutie. Fran and Art have a bet to see what powers he gets “I bet he’ll have super strength like me, it’s probably the most common super gene out there” “Tsk, no I think he’s going to be a fire baby!” “A fire baby!?!” “It isn’t unheard of to have fire powers! That would be so cool, wouldn’t it?” “It’s al fun and games til he burns the damn house down...” “Language!!”

Fran and Art dont talk about their past much with the kids cause they don’t want to encourage them to break the law. Being a super is against the law all around the world. They don’t want their kids taken away or arrested or sued the way Arthur was for saving the man who didn’t want to be saved

Art hoards old news papers, costumes and everything he can from his ‘glory days’ and even makes a shrine of sorts in the basement where he goes to relax and relive old times

Francis’s old super gear is buried away in boxes somewhere in the basement...Little does he know that Arthur goes through his memorabilia too, reading old French articles and holding that faded red mask in his hands again and remembering the way his husbands blue eyes contrasted the red

The kids know about their parents past but very little about it. Their parents weren’t popular in America so there isn’t much here about them. They aren’t really inclined to dig into their dads stuff though so they kinda just let it be. They always look forward to the rare occasion that one of them gets nostalgic and tells a story or when they show them a veeeeery old, rare tape of them fighting on the streets. To the kids it’s kinda crazy to think of their old boring dads like that lmao

The kids are kinda salty since their powers prevent them from being ‘normal’. Michelle can’t be on any sports team cause despite her saying she won’t, she will outrun everyone. She’ll run 75 miles per hour and make a tornado on the feild or something equally horrific. Matthew disappears without a trace and his peers make fun of him for being strange. No one knows they’re supers. It’s a secret that’s very hard to keep

Arthurs insurance work finally makes enough that Francis can quit his waiter job to stay home with Alfred. As much as they want to out him in a normal baby daycare, Alfred hasn’t shown signs of powers yet which is unsettling...they can’t take risks...

Can Gilbert be frozone please...I like the idea of him being the goofy uncle type that swings by to be silly and fun for the kids while still being responsible yknooooowwwwww

[callunavulgari]

Scrapbook 2021 | Part I

For anyone that’s new to this, this is how I keep track of all of the things I enjoy and/or create throughout the year. I have literally been doing this since I had a livejournal. I think the first one was 2011? Maybe? In which case, woohoo, ten years of scrapbooking!

It’s a nice little snippet of my life and helps to organize my brain.

A reminder:

Normal font - Indifferent/Neutral Italicized font - Enjoyed bold font - Loved with an asterisk* - All time favorite (bracketed titles) - Re-watches/Re-reads strikethough - Disliked

Goals are: read 80 books, finish five video games, write more than 20 fics or something larger than 20k, and write either an original short story or start a novel. 

Past Years

MOVIES

January

(Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring)

(Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers)

(Lord of the Rings: Return of the King)

Robin Hood

(Hook)

Wolfwalkers

February

(Age of Ultron)

From Up On Poppy Hill

(Tangled)

(Onward)

(The Mummy)

(Hercules)

(Promare)

March

Raya and the Last Dragon

(My Neighbor Totoro)

April

(Hunchback of Notre Dame)

(Tarzan)

(Beauty and the Beast)

Weathering With You

BOOKS

January

A Deadly Education | Naomi Novak [Fin]

Home Body | Rupi Kaur [Fin]

The Sunken Mall | K.D. Edwards [Fin]

Bloom | Kevin Panetta [Fin]

The Angel of Crows | Katherine Addison

All the Stars and Teeth | Adalyn Grace [Fin]

The Adventure Zone: Vol 1 | McElroys & Carey Pietsch [Fin]

I Hope You Stay | Courtney Peppernell [Fin]

Pillow Thoughts | Courtney Peppernell [Fin]

Piraneesi | Susanna Clarke [Fin]

The Ex Talk | Rachel Lynn Solomon [Fin]

February

The Adventure Zone: Vol 2 | McElroys & Carey Pietsch [Fin]

The Adventure Zone: Vol 3 | McElroys & Carey Pietsch [Fin]

The Angel of Crows | Katherine Addison

Alice Isn’t Dead | Joseph Fink

March

Winter’s Orbit | Everina Maxwell [Fin]

Fireheart Tiger | Aliette de Bodard [Fin]

Alice Isn’t Dead | Joseph Fink

Fire | Kristin Cashore [Fin]

Bitterblue | Kristin Cashore [Fin]

The Witch’s Heart | Genevieve Gornichec [Fin]

Winterkeep | Kristin Cashore

April

Alice Isn’t Dead | Joseph Fink [Fin]

Winterkeep | Kristin Cashore [Fin]

The Memory Theater | Karin Tidbeck [Fin]

These Violent Delights | Chloe Gong 

(Red White and Royal Blue | Casey Mcquiston) [Fin]

Rule of Wolves | Leigh Bardugo [Fin]

Alice Isn’t Dead | Joseph Fink [Fin]

Not the Girl You Marry | Andie Christopher [Fin]

The Echo Wife | Sarah Gailey [Fin]

The Midnight Library | Matt Haig

Catherine House | Elisabeth Thomas [Fin]

Séance Tea Party | Reimena Yee [Fin]

Lumberjanes vol 1 | Noelle Stevenson [Fin]

PODCASTS

January

The Unseen, Christmas and New Year Special

The Penumbra Podcast, Juno Steel arc, Heart of It All and What Lies Beyond

The Penumbra Podcast, Second Citadel, Strong Arm of Justice and The Priestess’ Fortune

I Am In Eskew, Episode 16

Welcome to Night Vale, Episode 67, 68, and 69

The Magnus Archives, Episode 190 and 191

February

The Magnus Archives, Episode 192-194

The Adventure Zone, Episodes 15-60

March

The Magnus Archives, Episode 194-200 [Fin]

The Adventure Zone, Episodes 60-TAZ BALANCE ENDING

MBMBAM, Episode 1

I Am In Eskew, Episode 17-22

April

I Am In Eskew, Episode 23-END

Alice Isn’t Dead, Episode 18-END

TV SHOWS BY SEASON

January

His Dark Materials, s2 [Fin]

Watcher Entertainment

Buzzfeed Worth It

(Black Sails, s1)

The Queen’s Gambit**

February

Cherry Magic

Wandavision, s1

Watcher Entertainment

The Owl House

(Little Witch Academia)

Star vs the Forces of Evil, s3, s4

Bridgerton

Buzzfeed Unsolved: True Crime

Heaven’s Official Blessing

March

Wandavision, s1 [Fin]

Watcher Entertainment, Puppet History & Watcher Weekly

Falcon and the Winter Soldier

Word of Honor

April

Word of Honor, s1

Watcher Entertainment, Puppet History

Falcon and the Winter Soldier, s1

Kim’s Convenience, s1, 2, 3, 4

Leverage, s4

Shadow and Bone, s1

The Great, s1

VIDEO GAMES

January

Hades, 37 hours [Fin]

Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla, 35 hours

February

Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla, 35 hours

Hades, 75+ hours? 

Animal Crossing: New Horizons, 16 hours

Persona 5 Royal

March

Animal Crossing: New Horizons, 45 hours

Persona 5 Royal, 141 hours

Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla, 35 hours

Concrete Genie, 3 hours

April

Concrete Genie, 6 hours [Fin]

Animal Crossing: New Horizons, 65 hours

Persona 5 Royal, 160 hours

Monster Hunter Rise, 2 hours

Civ, 5 hours

DELIGHTFUL FIC

January

Modern Rustic by beethechange | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 22k | “I think,” he says, finally, “that if we looked around this place hard enough, we’d find a rose underneath a—a glass thing, what’s it called—losing petals. Metaphorically.”

easy livin' by sarcasticfishes | Buzzfeed Unsolved (Fallout AU) | Ryan/Shane | 6k | The Wasteland - and Ryan - through Shane's eyes.

(in nocte consiliam by oxymoronic | Bartimaeus | Bartimaeus/Nathaniel | 4k | London, 2003. Britain is on the brink of war, and someone is trying rather hard to kill John Mandrake.)

made of glass the way you see through me by uneventfulhouses | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 19k | Will it always be like this? Ryan wonders, watching Shane lope up the snowy walkway and pushing his way through the front door, humming some jolly old tune in that way Shane’s prone to do. Theatrical, performing for an audience even though Ryan is the only one around.

All Your Stars In View by alpha_exodus | Harry Potter | Draco/Harry | 18k | Life after the war is difficult for Harry, especially when the only thing that makes him feel better is, oddly enough, being around Malfoy. So when Malfoy asks to paint his portrait, Harry can't refuse, even if it means baring himself in more ways than one.

13 Genuinely Awful Things About Steven by thefourthvine | Buzzfeed Worth It | Steven/Andrew | 10k | Andrew’s learned to like cake, he’s learned to like oysters, and he’s learned to like Steven.

we’ll make a brand new start of it (in old new york) by misantlery | Buzzfeed Worth It | Steven/Andrew | 10k | “Just to be clear,” Andrew says. “You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend at a party to spite your high school bully and your high school girlfriend and possibly the entire state of Ohio?”

Russian Roulette Croquembouche by misantlery | Buzzfeed Worth It | Andrew/Steven | 9k | “Get that on your business card,” Andrew advises. “Steven Lim, video producer, world traveler, fancy dessert boy. Human cream puff.”

rose-colored boy by juniperProse | Buzzfeed Worth It | Steven/Andrew | 2k | Andrew’s eyes are pink.

Like Wildfire by makemadej | Watcher Entertainment | Shane/Ryan | 20k | “Is this gonna be a thing with you?” Ryan demands. “You can’t keep committing to stuff that no one else knows about! When people online say they want you to be more open and vulnerable, this is not what they mean.”

Scratching the Itch by bendingsignpost | Doctor Who | Rose/Ten | 20k | Her mum had always told her that blokes had only one thing on their minds, but this was taking it to an entirely new level.

lie back and let me unlock you by Lise | The Untamed | Xiao Xingchen/Xue Yang | 7k | Xiao Xingchen, reluctantly, admits to certain fantasies that he has. His friend is happy to indulge him.

in our respective ways by Lise | The Untamed | Jiang Cheng & Lan Wangji | 6k | Jiang Cheng has his golden core back. But he seems to have lost Wei Wuxian.

By Proxy by Lise | The Untamed | Jiang Cheng/Lan Wangji | 12k | Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji, looking for comfort in all the wrong places.

some good mistakes by Lise | The Untamed | Jiang Cheng & Lan Wangji | 18k |  Or, the one where Wei Wuxian vanishes and Lan Wangji, reluctantly, asks for Jiang Cheng's help tracking him down.

efforts in a common cause by Lise | The Untamed | Xiao Xingchen/Xue Yang/Song Lan | 12k | Everybody's walked out of Yi City alive. Now it's just three badly adjusted adults (and one badly adjusted teenager) trying to make things work - a project somewhat derailed by a night hunt that turns out to be something else.

swinger of birches by astronicht | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 23k | Lan Zhan is a little witch in the house on the hill, whispering out a love curse. Wei Ying is a witch undead, undone.

let me desecrate you by hkafterdark | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 6k | “Dangerous words.” Wei Wuxian drew back. The flickering candlelight gave him an otherworldly appearance; that, and his beauty, unchanged since the first time Lan Wangji had seen him. “You aren’t afraid to be at the mercy of the fearsome Yiling laozu?”

The Demon Affair by stereobone | Yu Yu Hakusho | Hiei/Kurama | 9k | Kurama accidentally seduces Hiei into a relationship.

i came to win (and i won) by paperclipbitch | The Queen’s Gambit | Beth/Benny | 3k | They play chess, and they fuck.The two things are not the same.

February

Sylvain Gautier Would Love To Try To Solve All Your Problems Through Sex (Hey It Might Help) by Fall Out Boy by harriet_vane | Fire Emblem: Three Houses | Sylvain/Felix | 22k | In which Sylvain wakes up on the wrong tour bus, and refuses to be their sex therapist (unless Felix asks nicely)

Turnabout and Start Again by runningondreams | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | 34k | WIP | Wei Wuxian lives. The siege fails.Thirteen years later, Lan Wangji wakes in a body that is not his own.

μήτηρ, in the Greek by antistar_e (kaikamahine) | Hades | Nyx & Persephone, canon relationships | 37k | At the end of this recounting, she tilted her head and asked politely, Is this not how you have children?Uh, no, said Persephone.

that voodoo that you do so well by veterization | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 18k |  Ryan buys a voodoo potion oil at Voodoo Authentica meant to attract Yummy Boys. Appropriately, things happen.

A Bridge Between by Runespoor | Spirited Away | Gen | 3k | Years later, Chihiro moves into a new apartment; her parents help.

the ghost king's bride by arahir | Tian Guan Ci Fu | Hua Cheng/Xie Lian | 10k | Ghosts won't stop giving Xie Lian flowers, Hua Cheng won't stop teasing, and Xie Lian is out here doing his best, man.

Side bitch out of your league by rohkeutta | Captain America | Steve/Bucky | 3k | “I tried to call Sam,” Captain America says, bewildered. He’s sprinting like Usain Bolt and doesn’t sound even a little out of breath. Fucker. “Who’re you?”

cause in your warmth (I forget how cold it can be) by madnessandbrilliance | Promare | Lio/Galo | 7k | Lio is always freezing. Galo is always warm. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the rest.

backdraft by broments | Promare | Lio/Galo | 32k | It happens in an instant, Galo gaping like an idiot while Lio presses forward to defend against the perceived threat, the weapon sparkling but not burning as it kisses Galo's throat.

your perfect crime (& how you laugh when you lie) by aroceu | The Untamed | Lan Zhan/Wei Wuxian | Death Note AU | 8k | The first time a convicted murderer dies of a heart attack in their jail cell, no one thinks anything of it.

Yosuke will now die for you! by DragonBandit | Persona 4 | Yosuke/Souji | 5k | ...This, causes problems.

dramamine by brawlite | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xue Yang | 7k | Song Lan is having a bad morning. Help comes from the last person he'd expect: Xue Yang.

Hearth and Home by lady_ragnell | Leverage | Alec/Eliot/Parker | 1k | When Eliot goes to a temple, or when he’s in one place long enough to build a shrine, he doesn’t do it for Ares. He does it for Hestia.

Where One Ends and the Other Begins by kalliopeia | Leverage | Alec/Parker/Eliot | 30k | Nobody’s particularly shocked when the job goes spectacularly sideways because their loot turns out to be magic. Parker and Eliot begin reading each other’s minds, accidental sharing happens, and shenanigans result.

Hungry Thirsty Roots by coolkidroland | Persona 5 | Akechi/Akira | 56k | In which Akira absolutely does not learn to leave well enough alone. **

Without Grasping Yet by Angelic_Ascent | Persona 5 | Akechi/Akira | 8k | Akechi and Akira end up far too cramped for comfort in the Morgana bus. And then they're left alone in Mementos.

Falling Up by KivaEmber | Persona 5 | Akechi/Akira | 2k | “If it helps…” Akira spoke up suddenly, his tone morbidly amused, “I forgive you, for shooting me in the face.”

March

Touch of Forbidden by tirsynni | LoZ | Ganondorf/Link | 2k |  Nabooru warned him not to travel to the Spirit Temple. So of course Link went to the Spirit Temple.

breaking the same old heart by tardigradeschool | The Adventure Zone | Magnus/Taako | 11k | Taako and Magnus in triptych: before, during, and after the Bureau.**

your head is good, it’s loyal, it’s clean by Anonymous | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 4k | "Here, I do this all the time."Too quickly for him to react, Taako plucks away one of his golden rings and slips it onto the ring finger of Magnus' left hand.

bruising kisses, whispered confessions by tangerine_skye | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 3k | The trio stop over at an inn for the night. Taako and Magnus share a bed.

i can see what's coming (but i'm not saying it) by pansywaist | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 3k | His breath is still hot on Taako's lips, distracting enough he almost misses the strained whisper: “I thought I was gonna lose you.”

Emergency Consolation in the Pocket Spa by Anonymous | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 3k | If Magnus wants to hug a wizard, Magnus gets to hug a wizard.

together for the long haul by kismetNemesis | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 6k | Magnus and Taako were married on a bright spring day in the year after they saved the world.

thin skin, bruises, and a cold cup of tea by GayFrankensteinsMonster | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 3k | Sleep is for the weak, and Magnus has no weaknesses, except for his own natural curiosity.

tender is the night by dollylux | TAZ | Magnus/Taako | 10k |  “It’s just…” He runs a hand through the thick bramble of his hair, gripping the crown of it to anchor himself. He sighs, slumping back against the footboard. “I guess I’m just not very good at one on one. Like, not… not in any way.”

a note is attached to the top of the vial by GayFrankensteinsMonster | TAZ | Kravitz/Taako, Magnus/Taako | 5k |  Elves have a lifespan of up to six hundred years. The people that you know don't even come close to that.

Pieces of Memory and Heart by ellemaris | Raya and the Last Dragon | Raya/Namaari | 1k | Raya isn't sure how to heal everything between Heart and Fang, but returning something important to Namaari seems like a start.

the gods laugh by miss_aphelion | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | 11k+ | WIP | Wei Wuxian is just getting used to being alive again when he's ripped from the world he knows. He wakes in a place where his sister and her husband live, where his brother doesn't hate him, where the Wen remnants have all survived.

In Your Room, In Your Bed by giraffeter | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji/Jiang Cheng | 25k | After Wei Ying is disowned, Yu Ziyuan forbids Jiang Cheng from letting Wei Ying live with him. Jiang Cheng lets him stay anyway because Fuck That. He tells his parents Lan Zhan is his new roommate instead.

in the blossom season (in the pouring rain) by varnes | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | 14k |  “Doctor Flowers,” Lan Zhan repeats, pointing at the tiny plum tree, just to confirm that his son is suggesting a magical tree named Doctor Flowers sprouted overnight and made their tame family project turn into a verdant jungle.

34 years old - 5'8" - DL - no-BB by withpractice_ff | Ace Attorney | Edgeworth/Phoenix | 3k | Phoenix finds Edgeworth’s Grindr profile

spinning with the stars above by tardigradeschool | The Untamed | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | 7k | Wangji returns home to Vulcan for the first time since he left for Starfleet Academy, this time with Wei Ying at his side. He’s not expecting Wei Ying and his uncle to be fast friends, but things go poorly in a very different way than he was expecting.

every breath that comes before by tardigradeschool | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 10k | Or, what if that cup of wine Wei Wuxian drank for Lan Wangji after the Phoenix Mountain hunt wasn't just wine?

never love an anchor by tardigradeschool | Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji | 31k | A fisherman and a selkie fall in love beside the sea. Regretfully, things are never quite that simple.

Be Careful by giraffeter | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xue Yang | 5k |  Song Lan and Xue Yang try to survive a week in their shared apartment without Xiao Xingchen as a buffer.

  won't you let me know you now by tardigradeschool | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 12k | WIP | “Have you ever heard of a mind meld?” Wangji keeps his voice as level as possible, as if he is not revealing foremost Vulcan secrets.

April

running for a soft place to fall by tardigradeschool | The Untamed | Lan Xichen & Lan Wangji | 10k |  As he leaves for his coming of age test at age twelve, half-Vulcan Xichen has a goal in mind. The rules of the kahs-wan prohibit taking food, water, or weapons. In accordance, Xichen is bringing none of those things, but he does have a compass tucked into his pocket. He is going to find his father.

an act too often neglected by Ariaste | The Untamed | Lan Xichen/Meng Yao | 60k | The single faceless, anonymous photograph on the profile that catches his eye is shot in elegant black-and-white, and there’s something about the crispness of the focus and the markedly off-center composition that says art, for once, rather than mugshot.The caption below is equally sparse: “5’6. Demanding.”

where you go, I'm going (so jump and I'm jumping) by Aria | The Magnus Archives | Martin/Jonathan | 6k | "I don't think so," Alex said. She looked at Martin. "Is this really how it went?"

Morning, keep the streets empty for me by feyburner | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 6k | Ghosts were drawn to the ring roads.

2am on a saturday by detectorist | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 11k | In which Lan Zhan gets high, slides into Wei Ying's DMs, and somehow ends up having the harmonica played to him at 2am in the morning.

Grief Kindly Stopped by ShanaStoryteller | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 5k | Nothing leaves the Burial Mounds alive.

superhero love triangle by Asuka Kureru (Askerian) | Bleach?! | Grimmjow/Ichigo | WIP | 17k | You know those classical superhero-genre love triangles that actually only contain two people? Yeah.

Boat Basin by downjune | The Falcon and the Winter Soldier | 5k |  He thought the 21st century now maybe suffered from an overabundance of classifications for all the different ways to fuck and/or romance a person, but the most important thing—and his therapist had emphasized this—the most important thing was connection.

my touch magnifies by isozyme | Word of Honor | Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu/Ye Baiyi | 7k | Wen Kexing gets hit with fuck-or-die sex pollen on the way to Longyuan cabinet. Everything would be fine, except Zhou Zishu’s been keeping an unfortunate secret: the nails in his chest mean he can’t get hard anymore.

DELIGHTFUL FANVIDS

January

2020 || Multifandom Mashup

Hades - Official Animated Trailer

Hades Mini-PMV: This Year

2020, I guess

MARVEL || Energy (ft. Easy McCoy + Black Hydra)

obi-wan || give it

2020 ll Multifandom Mashup

Multifandom | Goodbye 2020

Multifandom | Goodbye 2018

2018 Multifandom | MASHUP

His Dark Materials - No Sanctuary

Lyra & Mrs. Coulter | Hurricane

► mrs. coulter || way down we go [hdm]

Wonder Woman || BORN READY 

Vikings | The End of the Journey

February

MARVEL || Ready Set (ft. Vo Williams)

MARVEL || Here We Go (ft. Chris Classic)

MARVEL || Is You Ready || The Falcon and the Winter Soldier

Never forget || Hualian - Hua Cheng x Xie Lian AMV 

【魔道祖师 / MDZS】Animatic - The First Siege | Safe & Sound

The Jedi Way | THE MANDALORIAN

Multifandom || Going Bad (feat. Drake)

March

Broccolli Casserole--The Untamed

Hey Brother - The Adventure Zone Animatic/PMV

The Adventure Zone: Balance trailer

The Adventure Zone: Balance Arc Trailer (Animatic)

13 Year Olds (A MDZS Animatic by Arcxus)

Multifandom || Die In This Town

DNA | shadow & bone

(Marvel) Wanda Maximoff | Grief

Defying Gravity | MDZS/CQL Animatic

It’s Quiet Uptown | MDZS Animatic

To The Stars

(Marvel) WandaVision || Awaken

Walt Disney Animation Studios | A Magical Journey

We don't have forever.

stop living a fake life.

► Wanda Maximoff | PAINT IT BLACK (+15k)

Multifandom || Take It (c/w Quang Truong) ft. @SEIGE WORLD​

Kylo Ren | STAR WARS

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

April

MARVEL || Natural ft.ImagineDragons

​ xue yang & xiao xingchen ➤ gasoline

WEN KEXING || GASOLINE

Wen Kexing ✘ Zhou Zishu || Dandelions

Play With Fire - Wen Kexing

TOXIC ~ Wen Kexing ~ word of honor ~ 山河令

(Marvel) Bucky Barnes | Free

Bucky Barnes | Feeling Good

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier || Next Level ft. @7kingZ​ || (Marvel)

Eternity looking down on us.

The complexity of reality.

Captain America

✗ The Crows | Trouble (Shadow&Bone)

Shadow & Bone | Paint It Black

The secret fate of all life.

DELIGHTFUL MUSIC

January

A Better Version - Jessie Shelton

Start a War - Klergy, Valerie Broussard

Meet Me in the Dark - Melissa Etheridge

ily - Surf Mesa, Emilee

Space Man - Eurielle

To Be Loved - Aurora

In the Blood - Darren Korb

Can’t Help Falling in Love - Tommee Profitt

Astronomical - SVRCINA

Oh Comely - Neutral Milk Hotel

In This Shirt - The Irrepressibles

goblincore + cottagecore

moonlit love letters 🌙💌 (sailor moon-inspired lofi mix)

Moonlight Densetsu Lo-Fi Remix 1 hour version

Peaceful Meditation

February

Never Forget You - Zara Larsson

Is You Ready - Migros

Recomposed Four Seasons - Max Richter

The End - JPOLND

Love Yourself - Sufjan Stevens

Deja | Daniel Roure

Used To Like | Neon Trees

Material Boy - Sir Sly

Willow - Taylor Swift

Overture - Apashe

Evangeline - Josh Garrels

Gris, pt 1 - Berlinist

Inferno - Hiroyuki Sawano

March

BAMBAM - Angie

Dictator - Rei Ami

Demons - Hayley Kiyoko

Runaway - Rei Ami

Deep Blue - Marcus Warner

Brave New World - Kalandra

Nero - The Speed

The Path of Silence - Anne Sophie Versnaeyen

Tuleloits - Kerli

Soft to Be Strong - Marina

Relic - Reeder

Ascension - Gorillaz

Will You Follow Me Into the Dark - Klergy

Voidfish (Plural) - Rachel Mitchell

Raya and the Last Dragon soundtrack

Unicorn Wizard - Ninja Sex Party

Me Too - Meghan Trainor

Umbrella - Rihanna

Colors Flying High - Lollia

Wake Up, Get Up, Get Out There - Lyn

lovely - khalid

Burn My Dread - Lotus Juice

Progress - The Dear Hunter

My Mother Told Me - Rachel Hardy

Savage Daughter - Sarah Ross

Four - Sleeping At Last

April

The Other Side - Amarante

Predator & Prey - Griffin Puatu

As the World Caves In -Matt Maltese

Tell Her I Wasn’t Scared - Dan Thiessen

Esmeralda - Adriel Genet

Woods - AfterInfinity

So Human of You - Shireen

Flags of Rome - Jesper Kyd

Do It All the Time - I don’t Know How But They Found Me

Hummingbirds - Venus Hum

On and On - Curtis Harding

Grand Escape - RADWIMPS

my ex’s best friend - machine gun kelly

Sofia - Clairo 

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Charlotte Lawrence

Next Level - 7KingZ

Tell Me - Johnny Jewel

Get Out of Town - Firefles

Music for Anglo Saxes

I See Darkness In You - Red Mecca

Satan Is His Name - Holly Golightly

Rocky Trail - Kings of Convenience

Story - NF

Because the Night - 10,000 Maniacs

Use to Be (L.O.V.E.) - Chelsea Collins

Bird on a Wire - Simone Istwa

Huzzah - Nathan Barr

POSTED FIC

January

gonna make you feel, boy | Hades | Megaera/Thanatos/Zagreus | 1,101 words | “You can touch, you know,” she murmurs, satisfaction and anticipation warring within her. Her pulse pounds. Zagreus’s eyes have darkened, his pupils eating up all that color. He looks good enough to eat.

February

how long do we have? | She Ra | Adora/Catra | 1,539 words | “The war is over, Adora,” Catra tells her. Adora hums. “Maybe. Maybe not.”

March

only fools rush in | The Adventure Zone | Taako/Magnus | 5,209 words | “Okay,” Taako says, sitting down heavily. “So. Ancient ritual to… bring people together?”

til my lungs both billow out | The Magnus Archives | Jon/Martin | 748 words | The knife goes in. The tape runs out.

the echo, as wide as the equator | The Untamed | Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian | 2,927 words |  “Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying whispers after it is done.

April

N/A

WIPS | UNPUBLISHED | ORIGINAL

January

1685 words of Buzzfeed Unsolved, tattoo AU

February

N/A

March

3121 words of Magnus/Taako, Stolen Century verse Posted!

April

852 words of Steve/Billy

FANMIXES/GRAPHICS

January

got the morbs: sad/somber songs for sad/somber people

2021: a mix for the year that comes after 2020

Sahara Baby: a mix for songs that sound like Spanish Sahara

Fire Baby: a mix for songs that sound like Play With Fire

Consequences Baby: a mix for songs that sound like Consequences

Paradise Baby: a mix for songs that sound like Paradise Valley

Real Boy: a Zagreus playlist

February

N/A

March

only fools rush in: a taako/magnus playlist

pomegranate seeds: a persephone playlist

make them bow: a megaera playlist

fuck feelings: a taako playlist

til my lungs both billow out: a jonmartin playlist

April

i am my mother’s savage daughter: a playlist for the girl

[eggoreviews]

My Top 25 Games Advent Day 13 - Until Dawn (#13)

​​“You need to listen to me. I don’t care if you believe me or not. Doesn’t matter because you will. You need to go down to the mines. I’ve seen what’s down there and I’d give anything to unsee it.”​​

​​Something I may not have mentioned on this countdown yet is that I am a pretty big fan of horror, whether that be sci-fi, supernatural or, in this case, teenagers being eaten by Wendigos. As someone who has always enjoyed slashers (particularly those that are unique, interesting and comment on the genre like Cabin in the Woods), Until Dawn came as a very welcome announcement for me, as previously unknown studio Supermassive Games came forward with a horror game that mirrored a classic slasher exactly, except it was entirely affected by your own choices. And so, Until Dawn became my favourite decision based game of all time.​​

​​Let’s talk for a minute about how Until Dawn treats its genre. In essence, it is a dizzyingly heartfelt love letter to the horror genre it so reveres, with its liberal employing of many, many tropes seen throughout its history. A group of eight friends return to the cabin atop a snowy mountain where two of their friends disappeared the previous year for a bit of a remembrance bash. But of course, everything is not quite as it seems and not everyone in the group is bein entirely honest with each other, along with the added threat of cannibalistic cryptids. Until Dawn tests your knowledge of horror, as well as your ability to act under pressure, by providing you with difficult and genuinely harrowing decisions to make that may well mean life or death for certain characters. If you’re looking to escape the usual conventions of horror by doing your best to save the stereotypes of the jock or the sexually liberal girlfriend, you’re going to need to be on the ball and keep your wits about you. This is what I love so much about Until Dawn; the fact that everyone or no one can survive depending on how well you play the game. It really is your own customised horror experience. And believe it or not, this game has a hell of a lot of replayability, even after you’ve discovered the majority of the endings. There’s just something about replaying this through and seeing what fuckshit you can do that keeps me coming back. 

​​ ​​On top of that, the characters themselves, while being massive tropes, still feel unique enough that things don’t become boring and predictable. Every horror trope is here; the funny, hapless guy, the studious one, the jock, the girlfriend who talks about sex a whole bunch. But each and every one of them still have nuances. The studious Ashley seems fairly mellow on the surface, but there’s a layer of dark that seemingly lies under the surface that comes out in a few instances depending on her choices. Jess seems confident and overtly sexual on paper, but reveals herself to be a highly insecure individual later in the game, albeit in a scene with some incredibly ham-handed writing. And Matt, the ‘dumb jock’, who is very subtly being manipulated and abused by his cheating girlfriend. All of these add subtle nuances to these normally completely undeveloped characters, which engages you much more in the horror they’re being put through and honestly makes you want to save them. Alongside this, the standout and often underrated performances of Hayden Panettiere as Sam, Rami Malek as Josh and Peter Stormare as the mysterious, hallucinatory Dr. Hill are properly, properly good.​

​ ​​The horror in this game, as well as the characters within it, is excellently realised. Many different aspects come together to form a genuinely horrifying experience. The overall writing is stellar, specifically within the late game when the tension begins to boil over, and less so in the early game when the writers are trying to write realistic young people. For the most part, they seem like real humans, but every so often they’ll drop an odd phrase here and there that will remind you that both the actors and the writers are not teenagers, but it honestly isn’t that distracting and doesn’t detract from the overall horror at all. The visuals, of course, are dazzling as perfect motion capture was used to carry over the subtleties of the actors’ body language and facial expressions, as well as the highly detailed graphic style used for the setting is excellently immersive. The snowy cabin, the ancient and rusted fire tower, the snow flying in front of the camera when you’re traversing the mountain; it all adds up to create a wonderfully horrific experience. And last of all, the soundtrack, an all important part of any game for me, is consistently suspenseful, with the combination of the sounds of the heavy wind and the soundtrack that slowly builds from subtle instrumentation to shrieking violins and drums once the action kicks off. And while the opening cover of ‘O Death’ is a little on the nose, I honestly don’t hate it and I think it adds brilliantly to the atmosphere of ‘oh boy this is tropey horror’.​​

​​To wrap up, for horror to be effective for me, it needs to blend effective use of many different aspects, both in the background and the foreground, especially in an interactive medium. The story and characters, the visuals, the soundtrack and the threat itself all need to work together to create effective horror and I think Until Dawn manages this brilliantly, with the added challenge of making the horror immersive with its gameplay. Until Dawn is an excellent example of interactive horror meeting decision-based gameplay and I am really looking forward to the future of Supermassive Games.​​ ​​Standout Moment Award: The last quarter or so of the game, when the group finally realise the extent of the true threat and all that suspense pays off is endlessly satisfying to me. I’m love this game.​​

Standout Character Award: Sam. While I nearly gave this to my soft boi Matt, the strong and capable Sam is yet another love letter to the slasher horror genre of the 80s, as well as to the ‘final girl’ trope that still sticks around today. Even putting aside how well-placed she is thematically, she’s just a cool-ass character with a good sense of humour, visible flaws and tangible relationships with almost every character, as well as being played brilliantly by Hayden Panettiere.

​​Tomorrow: No. 12; A tragic tale of halting an arranged marriage and finding oneself through travel.

[wellhalesbells]

I see you reblogging some comic stuff an I was wondering if you have a favorite comic or favorite character or ship?

this ask is from so long ago but [DEEP BREATH IN] i’m finally going to answer it, nonny.  finally.  i kept wanting to read a little bit farther in my comics stack because.... maybe i’ll like that and will regret not having recced it, i just hafta--get--to it, see?  and, honestly, i’m still there BUT, come on, i’ll never be caught up because that would mean comics would just have to stop coming out and i would be sad forever if that happened, SO

i’m not even going to pretend like i can narrow this down to one comic.  (one ship?  sure, that’s spideypool.  one character?  sure, that’s the merc with a mouth, the regenerating degenerate, wade motherfucking wilson.  but one comic?!)  there is just straight-up too much out there to make a definitive ‘yes, this is it, this is THE ONE ™ ’ statement.  instead, uh, let’s break this shit down, yeah?  (super special secret bonus round, will note all lgbt+ rep and standalone comics.)  in no particular order, here the frig it goes!

HORROR

infidel, by pornsak pichetshote and aaron campbell.  in case you haven’t seen this on every 2018 best list ever, here it is.  and, yeah, it was good.  a muslim-american main character living in a haunted apartment building where the entities feed off the xenophobia of its occupants.  if that’s not a fucking modern horror story i don’t know what is.

spread, by justin jordan and kyle strahm.  THIS IS ONE OF MY NEW AND ALREADY ALL-TIME FAVORITES.  what an awesomely weird and epic story.  the spread is an uncontrollable, unstoppable monster-making force that humanity accidentally unleashed by digging too deep.  it infects everything it touches and basically all of humanity is running from quarantine to quarantine just hoping for the best.  and speaking of hope.... she’s a baby, rescued by no, and the only thing that’s ever been able to stop the spread.  also, no’s gay?  and i just DID NOT see that coming.  it seems like it’s going to be such a formulaic, bro-y story about the action hero who kisses the face off his girl (her name’s molly and she’s batshit insane and amazing) and instead, nope, it is not that at all.  lgbt+ main characters.

the black monday murders, by jonathan hickman and tomm coker.  hate capitalism?  think all the rich and powerful are evil, soul-sucking monsters?  [obnoxious, low-budget commercial sound effects] MAN, HAVE I GOT THE SERIES FOR YOU.

the beauty, by jeremy haun and jason a. hurley.  i just started this recently but so far, oh my good golly gosh, i looove it.  a sexually transmitted disease that makes you conventionally gorgeous.... at least before it explodies you.  [wide, creepy smile]  the art is gorgeous, the characters are aces and i am very, very pleased so far.  lgbt+ minor characters.

the great divide, by ben fisher and adam markiewicz.  this?  was a COOL idea.  the execution stumbled a bit but, gosh, was it neat.  it’s post-apocalyptic where touching another person will literally kill.... one of you.  the survivor then absorbs the memories of the person who dies, taking on a ‘rider.’  some people collect them, some people go mad, some form a bond, all have the side effect of dyslexia.  like i said, neat as all get out.  lgbt+ minor-ish/main-ish character.  standalone.

revival, by tim seely and mike norton.  a rural town in wisconsin experiences ‘miracle day,’ where the dead rise again.... except, they were kinda already mourned and buried and this is really just fucking up the status quo.

the woods, by james tynion iv and michael dialynas.  a high school gets picked up and plopped down in an entirely new, and wickedly hostile universe.  it’s all survival and alliances and seeing what you’re really made of when it comes down to it.  lgbt+ main characters. 

clean room, by gail simone and jon davis-hunt.  a cult, a journalist and a clean room walk into a bar...

anya’s ghost, by vera brosgol.  you think it’ll be a cute story of a girl and her ghost.  HA HA THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENS AT ALL, OKAY.

FANTASY

rumble, by john arcudi and james harren.  SCARECROW WARRIOR GOD, SCARECROW WARRIOR GOD, SCARECROW WARRIOR GOD!!!  okay, first off, the art in this?  pushes every friggin’ button i’ve got, and many i did not know i had.  second, this book is so fucking fun.  it’s mythology that’s balls to the wall ridiculous, funny, and features a main character whose life motto is basically: ‘do i have to?’  infinitely relatable and then some.

heathen, by natasha alterici and rachel deering.  UGH, ONE OF MY FAVORITES.  the art is just horribly, horrendously gorgeous and it’s LESBIAN VIKING MYTHOLOGY, OKAY.  OKAYYYY???   lgbt+ main characters.

the wicked + the divine, by kieron gillen and jamie mckelvie.  one of my favorite ever series right here.  it’s a hella cool concept (gods reincarnating as humans every twelve years, and burning up their hosts in two), whip-smart and if you’ve ever met a human being who likes a pun more than kieron gillen i defy you to produce them.  lgbt+ main and minor characters.

batgirl, by gail simone and adrian sayaf and vicente cifuentes.  you know how people rave about gail simone?  there’s a reason people rave about gail simone.  honestly, i’ve never had much interest in babs.  i don’t tend to go for superheroes who don’t kill and i have even less interest in ‘the killing joke’ story line and i am convinced only gail simone could’ve done the recovery on that and she did a GLORIOUS job of it.

red hood and the outlaws, by scott lobdell and dexter soy.  (ignoring recent - and annoying - developments), this is my favorite of all the rebirths dc did.  scott lobdell is the only writer to have gotten the idea down of: okay, we’re starting over, i assume you don’t know anything but i also assume there are a bajillion people reading who know everything, and hit the perfect medium between those two things.  so if you want to start a jason todd run, you legitimately can here, and get all the found family, badassery, batman-teasing enjoyment there is to be had.

iceman, by sina grace and robert gill (covers by kevin wada).  classic super-heroing here and bobby’s first solo title.  he’s figuring out coming out while fighting (and flirting) with baddies.  sina really gets his humor and how truly wonder-awful it is!  lgbt+ main character.

spider-man/deadpool, by joe kelly and ed mcguinness.  watch those names there, those are your guys right there, period.  they looked at the void of a spider-man/deadpool series and filled it with absolutely everything you could possibly want for the pair (sans a hardcore make-out sesh, though they did get a few variant covers with some puckered up lips in there!)

limbo, by dan watters and caspar wijngaard.  a fusion of 80s aesthetics, voodoo elements and a noir tone.  just some remarkably cool shit in this.  the ending, for me, left something to be desired but it was more than worth it to see worship via mixtapes.  standalone.

hawkeye: kate bishop, by kelly thompson and leonardo romero.  kate bishop is, apparently???, a super impossible character for a lot of writers.  kelly thompson is not one of them.  kelly thompson is my favorite kate bishop writer, actually, and the fact that she is ever not writing her is a gd travesty.

the unbeatable squirrel girl, by ryan north and erica henderson.  honestly, i’m so tempted to just stick this under ‘contemporary,’ because it really does just feel very... normal.  doreen’s navigating college, new friendships, and y’know... the squirrely-ness.  this had every opportunity to suck and instead it’s funny as heck, never takes itself too seriously, and is just pure good-hearted entertainment through and through.

wolf, by ales kot and matt taylor.  a paranormal detective and the-possible-antichrist go on a road trip.  people hated this comic and i don’t know how you can hate a comic that has a character called freddy chtonic who has tentacles for a mouth??? 

ms. marvel, by g. willow wilson and adrian alphona.  hi, you read ms. marvel because the world is a garbage fire and people are terrible and your cynicism is at an all time high and then kamala khan waltzes in and reminds you people generally want to help each other and the world improves when we work together and that thing optimists feel?  you’ll feel that for as long as you’ve got the pages open and that’s a magical thing.  lgbt+ minor character.

monstress, by marjorie m. liu and sana takeda.  psychic links with monsters, matriarchal societies, magic and witchery, half-human/half-animal (and other ratios) characters, all through a steampunk lens.  what’s not to like about that??

inhuman, by charles soule.  i love this series, i love the idea of being a total average joe/joanne, getting smacked in the face by a cloud of mist and suddenly having to figure out how to live basically a whole new life.  also, if you don’t fall madly in love with dante pertuz, i don’t even know what to tell you, my dude.

heart in a box, by kelly thompson and meredith mcclaren.  break-ups suck, but only because of that whole pesky broken heart thing, right?  so emma gives hers away.  problem solved, no?  standalone.

i kill giants, by joe kelly and j.m. ken niimura.  i didn’t cry my eyes out or anything.  did not.  standalone.

sex criminals, by matt fraction and chip zdarsky.  having sex = stopping time, which leads suzie and jon to the only logical conclusion: let’s rob some banks!

hawkeye, by matt fraction and david aja.  honestly there are a lot of other artist combos in this run but the only ones that are worthwhile are the ones that have fraction and aja’s names on them - sorry not sorry.

SCIENCE FICTION

black bolt, by saladin ahmed and christian ward.  saladin revived this character one hundred million percent.  there is absolutely a reason this was parading around all over ‘best’ lists when it was released.  it really, really did the damn thing.

saga, by brian k. vaughan and fiona staples.  this is the comic you recommend to people who don’t even like comics because it is that good.  like, my dad - who hadn’t read a comic since he was a pre-teen, eagerly awaits each new trade.  the world-building, the characters, the care put into every single solitary bit of all the things?  unparalleled.  lgbt+ minor characters.

frostbite, by joshua williamson and jason shawn alexander.  a post-apocalyptic story that has humanity dying from a plague that literally freezes you from the inside out.  very neat, very cold, very readable.  standalone.

descender, by jeff lemire and dustin nguyen.  this had a rough start, for me, with the main character of the first trade being tim-21, an android who is literally incapable of having the depth to be a lead BUT that does not last through to the next trade, thank god.  lots of space and found family and world-building in this to be had!  but you know how people rave about jeff lemire?  there’s a reason people rave about jeff lemire.

paper girls, by brian k. vaughan and cliff chiang.  the 80s and time travel and lifelong friendships.  it’s brian k. vaughan, you know it’s good, okay?  why do i even have to sell you here, man?  lgbt+ main characters.

injection, by warren ellis and declan shalvey.  this is another one on my list that started out a little rough but really appealed to me later on.  there was just a lot to absorb in that first trade but, once you’ve got it, the ride gets way, way smoother.   lgbt+ main and minor characters.

black science, by rick remender and matteo scalera.  this was a rocky start, because the main character is such an asshole but in a way where he can’t see he’s an asshole, he’s just a tortured genius who’s superior to all of you, don’t you know? but i am so glad i persevered because if that’s the set up?  the rest of the series is knocking him back down.  super scientist grant mckay finds a way to access the eververse, every possible reality the universe has on offer, and that’s really what causes every single problem that follows.  hard to cause the apocalypse and be an arrogant prick, ya know?

CONTEMPORARY

giant days, by john allison and lissa treiman.  this series is so funny and smart and warm.  these girls are so kind to each other and relatable and failing at adulting regularly and often and i love reading about them.  lgbt+ main character.

lumberjanes, by noelle stevenson and grace ellis and brooke a. allen.  this is funny and ridiculous and kind and cool and all other awesome adjectives and you should read it, fact.  lgbt+ main characters.

my brother’s husband, by gengoroh tagame and anne ishii (translator).  this is such a sweet story about acceptance and family tbh.   lgbt+ main character.

fence, by c. s. pacat and johanna the mad.  i mean... i need to see nicholas and seiji hook-up, i need that, stat.  stat means now!   lgbt+ main characters.

WEB/INDEPENDENT COMICS

long exposure, by kam heyward.  so mitch and jonas are my absolute faves and i love them to death and the author is so kind in that they actually put this up in print on indyplanet so i can read it the way i, personally, love to read comics (and - bonus! - support them with the monies).  lgbt+ main characters.

modern dread, by pat shand and ryan fassett (editors).  i’ve been trying to find more better horror comics lately so i’ve been kind of half-heartedly stumbling through kickstarter on the hunt and this was SUCH a great find.  it’s an anthology but more cleverly done than any other kickstarter anthology i’ve read, with a main story line that seamlessly strings together the would-be-disjointed ones.  this was really thoughtfully put together and really well done!  standalone.

heartstopper, by alice oseman.  a very sweet story about two high school-aged boys becoming fast friends, playing rugby and falling in love.  the two characters are mentioned as an aside in the author’s book, solitaire, and she became so invested in them that she wrote their backstory as a free webcomic.   lgbt+ main characters.

the pale, by jay fabares.  JUST started this (like, just a day or so ago) but i’m enjoying it so far!

hotblood!, by toril orlesky.  i mean... is it a webcomic about a centaur falling in love with his boss?  it just might be.  did i get a bound edition through a kickstarter campaign?  maybe.  maybe i did that.  who’s to say?   lgbt+ main characters.

the bay, by bbz.  life on mars through the lens of three young professionals who form an odd but lasting friendship.  lgbt+ main characters.

hard drive, by artroan.  is it a nsfw comic about a dude and a robot?  .... it might be a nsfw comic about a dude and a robot.  [coughs]   lgbt+ main characters.

seen nothing yet, by tess stone.  a nsfw comic about two amateur ghost hunters.  can’t imagine why i might be interested in that [coughs]   lgbt+ main characters.

captain imani and the cosmic chase, by lin darrow and alex assan.  i mean did i want a starship captain who can’t help but lust after the smuggler he’s chasing.  i mean, maybe i did.  maybe.   lgbt+ main characters.

taproot, by keezy young.  ghost falls in love with boy, boy falls in love with ghost, AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.  lgbt+ main characters.

always raining here, by bell and hazel.  just two boys falling in lurve.  lgbt+ main characters.

[dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt]

Even numbers. Fuck you 💙

:’) 🖕💙

Under the cut… oh my god… lord give me strength… if any of y’all wanna get to know me… read this monster X’D

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

I think a bit of both?? I’m the type of person who’d willingly get lost in a strange city but also suddenly develop a stutter when I try to communicate with my fellow humans. :)

4. Are you easy to get along with?

lmao no.

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Kind ones. Who can tolerate me.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

An ex friend/abuser atm. :))))

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

What qualifies as deep?? I guess, my Dad?? Maybe??

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Dodie Clark - Monster

Easy Life - Pockets

Lorde - Buzzcut Season

Zack Hemsey - The Way

Fits and the Tantrums - Roll Up

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Yeah, I think so?

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I kissed my Mum on the top of her head. So, yes. XD

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

That would be Jesse. So, yes. Hope he doesn’t find this blog yikes. X’D

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Yes on one side. No on the other side.

22. Where would you like to travel?

America firstly. Then all over the place to visit other friends. I promised my Mum I’d take her to San Francisco one day, so I gotta keep that promise.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

PETS :DDDDD

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Try my best not to murder anyone while I get my cup of tea liquid life ready. XD Say hi to doggos and beep babies. Check to see if any of my friends need me urgently. Then eat toast.

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My pets. My parents. My friends.

30. Do you ever want to get married?

I really don’t mind getting married or living in sin. XD It would depend entirely on what my partner wanted, I’d do whatever would make them happy.

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

No one. Guess you could say I’m demisexual.

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Does horseback riding count?? I’ve dabbled in a bit of cricket. But my lungs don’t like intensive exercising, especially cardio stuff.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Story of my life, every single time. I’ve never told anyone I liked them. I’d rather die than make them feel bad or uncomfortable bc I know they don’t feel the same way.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

At the moment all I can think of is my crush lmao. :’)

40. What do you want to do after high school?

Absolutely nothing bc I’m a dropout. XD Be a completely self-taught author, hopefully.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

Online, I’m probably just really tired and don’t have the energy to be upbeat and/or talk to people. In real life, it’s nothing abnormal; I hate my voice so I don’t talk much and I like quiet. If I’m not using a bunch of emojis (you know how I normally do) when I’m talking, you know I’m either being super serious, or I’m pissed off, or both.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

NEITHER YIKES I LIKE MY SOLID EARTH THANK U VERY MUCH

46. What are you paranoid about?

Being annoying.

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Nope. Not really planning on it, either. I’m kind of curious as to how I’d be, though. Like I have deep-rooted buried anger issues so I might be angry, but I’m also depressed so I might be a puddle of tears and sadness, BUT my personality is v energetic and happy so… who knows, dude. X’D

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Blue and grey. It has “yo” on the hood. :D

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

Biologically male. please.

54. Favourite store?

?? don’t have one. 

56. Favourite colour?

Navy or a kind of dark aqua-navy kind of colour, like a bit of a green tinge as well? I’m also really fond of yellow too.

58. Last thing you ate?

LEFTOVER HAMBURGER AND IT WAS DELICIOUS I FORGOT HOW MUCH I LOVED HAMBURGERS!!!!!!1!!

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Yeah, dog training competition with our German Shepherd when I was 11.

62. Been arrested? For what?

No yet lmao.

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

I’ll be sure to tell you about it when it happens. XD

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

I don’t have any irl friends so… HELL YEAH!!

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr. Obviously.

70. Names of your bestfriends?

I could literally just list all my Tumblr friends here. I’ve learnt not to get specifically close to any one or two persons. So… all my beans!!! Love you!!

72. What colour are your towels?

Blue! :D I was forced to use the pink towels in the set when I was little and not out as trans so now I surround myself in all the gendered blue bullshit X’D

74. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

….. maaayyyybbbeee.

76. Favourite animal?

D O G

78:Chocolate or Vanilla?

Neither.

80. What colour shirt are you wearing?

It’s my very yellow button down!! :D

82. Favourite tv show?

S E N S E 8

84. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Never seen either oops.

86. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

88. First person you talked to today?

Enna aka Cinnamonpuff aka steverogershield

90. Name a person you hate?

My brother, Mackenzie. :)

92. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Anyone who mistreats animals.

94.How many sweatpants do you have?

I rarely wear anything but sweatpants, so I have 8. THEY’RE COMFY OKAY. And since it’s usually cold or hot here with no real warm in between, I’m either wearing shorts or sweatpants. It’s only in the rare in-between weather (like now) that I wear my jeans.

96. Last movie you watched?

Can’t remember. I watched the first season of Jessica Jones tho, so… show instead of movie. XD

98.Favourite actor?

TERRY CREWS

100. Have any pets?

YES!!! 3 dogs (one German Shepherd named Ria, a Whippet named Granger, and a mutt named Maude), 3 chickens (Haymitch the black one, Cinna the dark brown one, Effie the pale brown one) and 2 ducks (Peeta and Katniss.) THEY’RE MY BABIES AND I’D DIE FOR THEM!!! :’D

102. Do you type fast?

LMAO APPARENTLY I DO??? My Dad thinks I must type gibberish and makes me type out what he says because he doesn’t think I can type that fast. I only type with 2 fingers normally too. X’D

104. Can you spell well?

w e l l (idk. maybe.)

106. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yup.

108. Have you ever been on a horse? 

Many times. I LOVE them SO MUCH.

110. Is something irritating you right now?

Yeah.

112. Do you have trust issues?

No. *insert canned audience laughter here* Yes, I do. Big time. Just bc I’m friendly doesn’t mean I trust anyone.

114. What was your childhood nickname?

Matt, actually!! :D

116. Do you play the Wii?

Used to, now I don’t have one anymore and it wasn’t my favourite console.

118.Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Y E S. GIMME!!!!!! :D

120.Favourite book?

Bird by Crystal Chan.

122.Are you mean?

I think I definitely can be very cutting when I lose my temper. But I haven’t done that in years now and I try very hard to be a good person. Luckily my first reaction is normally hurt, so by the time the anger kicks in I normally try and get out of the situation before I can say something harsh.

124.Can you keep white shoes clean?

NOPE. I can never keep anything clean, probably why I like dark colours so much. I literally do not own any white clothes anymore because they always get stained within a few hours of me wearing them asdfghjkl. 😅

126.Do you believe in true love?

Kind of. I believe that no relationship is ever perfect, but if people gel well and COMMUNICATE OFTEN AND HONESTLY the relationship can be amazing. I guess it’s its own kind of perfect relationship. I definitely think there’s people you get along brilliantly with, better than anyone else. There’s somebody in the world for everyone! :D

128.What makes you happy?

Animals. My friends. My OCs. :’)

130.What your zodiac sign?

Pisces!! I definitely think I’ve grown into it over time. X’D

132. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

??? depends on whether I like them back or not, obviously. If I do, I’ll probably scream for a solid week and then decide if I want to drag them into my mountain of bullshit with a relationship, or leave it be. If I don’t, let them down as gently as I can. Also I’m a raging bi, so gender wouldn’t matter. :P

134.Favourite lyrics right now?

My all-time favourite lyrics are from The Judge by Twenty one Pilots:

“When the leader of the bad guys sangSomething soft and soaked in painI heard the echo from his secret hideawayHe must’ve forgot to close his doorAs he cranked out those dismal chordsAnd his four walls declared him insane”

136.Dumbest lie you ever told?

“Did you let Haymitch jump on your back again?”

“Uh… noooo.”

“Then why do you have massive scratches in the clear shape of chicken feet on your back?”

“UHHHHHH-”

i”M A HUFFLEPUFF OKAY I’M NOT GOOD AT LYING X’D

128.How tall are you?

I’m not.

140.Brunette or Blonde?

Like, people I’m attracted to, or for me? I honestly don’t care attraction wise. For me, I guess brunette bc I think I look really weird with pale hair lmao.

142.Night or Day?

NIGHT. Dear god, night.

144.Are you a vegetarian?

NOPE. Honestly think I’d go insane if I didn’t eat meat. XD I mean, I would if I had to, but I’d really prefer not to.

146.Tea or Coffee?

TEA. I hate coffee, I’ll leave that to other people. XD

148.Mars or Snickers?

SNICKERS. Mars are good but… Snickers!!!!

150. Do you believe in ghosts?

Hell fucking yes you bet I do pal!!!!!!

[thecrownnet]

Netflix's 'The Crown' dives into the ups and downs of a power couple in Season 2

LA Times Dec 1, 2017

In early May, the queen arrived at Hornsey Town Hall in London. The 1930s building, now an arts center, was standing in for a hospital on the final episode of the second season of “The Crown,” which premieres Dec. 8 on Netflix. The queen was actually actress Claire Foy, dressed in a perfectly crisp suit. A crowd gathered outside, watching Foy enter and exit a vintage car over the course of several takes, each time trying to get her motions exact. Later, inside the building, director Ben Caron debated with the crew over exactly how the hospital workers would greet their monarch.

These details are the essence of “The Crown,” created and written by Peter Morgan. Even areas of the Town Hall that wouldn’t appear in any shots were made up like the hallways of a 1960s hospital, a reminder that the show’s attention to the minutiae is one of the reasons it’s become such a success worldwide.

The 10 episodes of Season 2 were filmed on 398 sets with approximately 6,500 actors and extras over the course of nearly eight months. Morgan admits that it was a struggle to get Season 2 completed on time with his specifications, despite the reported production budget of $100 million. “It was only because they were so kind and agreed to shoot anything I wrote,” Morgan said. “They begged me to do fewer locations, but I don’t seem to be able to do that.” He added, “I just think the more specific you are, the better it is.”

Season 2 opens in 1956, detailing the response to the Suez Crisis, and runs through 1963, concluding with the retirement of former Prime Minister Harold Macmillan following the Profumo Affair. For Morgan, the challenge was to highlight iconic events of that time while also digging deeper to uncover events lost to the past. It took Morgan and his team of researchers a year to conceive and write the episodes.

“That process takes me ages,” Morgan said. “It’s what I spend the longest time doing — really mapping out the whole season. Part of the process is avoiding making this feel like one of those ridiculous history programs. You realize that history is so reductive and what has become the official narrative of the 1960s only tells part of the story. What you want to do is find some unexpected stories each time without making it obtuse and weird.”

One of these forgotten stories emerges midway through the season. In 1957, John Grigg, also known as Lord Altrincham, wrote an article speaking out against the queen. It marked the first time anyone had really criticized the royal family in a public manner and caused a serious outcry.

“It’s a real point of change for her and a real point of weakness in her character,” Foy explained of Elizabeth. “She becomes very affected by how the public perceives her. That’s not something she’s ever had to deal with — being criticized — really. Suddenly to be criticized and have her voice and what she looks like become something that everyone’s talking about, that’s when she’s really vulnerable.”

For Foy, a central theme of this season is how the queen reacts — or doesn’t react. We see the issues in her marriage to Prince Philip (Matt Smith) and her tenuous relationship to her sister Margaret (Vanessa Kirby), but in public, the queen historically has put on a careful, considered demeanor, sometimes even to her own detriment.

“I realized that, although she seemingly can handle everything in a calm, considered, unruffled way, I think in this [season] you see the wheels come off,” Foy noted. “You see how difficult she finds things and that actually her way of dealing with it is not healthy. She needs to lose her temper. She needs to let it out more. There is a point to where she could face up to the situation that she’s in and admit it to herself, but that would be too costly to do that and too painful.”

Elizabeth’s relationship to Philip takes center stage throughout much of the season, particularly as the couple faces raising several young children while running the country. For Smith, the tensions between the two are among the most interesting moments.

“He’s got a huge conflict in him between his duty to his wife and his duty to himself as a man,” Smith said. “All the conflicts in his marriage are always quite satisfying to play because it’s quite a rich tapestry emotionally.” He added, of the historical accuracy, “It’s Peter Morgan’s version of what happens. There wasn’t a camera in there recording these things. It’s impressionistic, but it’s based on as much fact as we can gather.”

Those intimate moments between the couple are one of the reasons viewers gravitate to “The Crown.” The Windsor family is unique in position and stature, but they’re like any other family in many ways.

“Ultimately it’s about the relationships between a mother and a daughter, a man and a wife, two sisters,” said Smith. “It’s about relationships in a work environment. It’s about things that are universal in nature and therefore I think it speaks to different cultures and people in different places around the world.”

“It’s a uniquely successful marriage, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have its ups and downs,” Morgan added of Elizabeth and Philip. “In those stresses and strains, that we all experience, we can identify.”

For Foy, the appeal of “The Crown” is in the idea that a TV series doesn’t need an extreme premise to gain an audience. Although Netflix doesn’t release viewership numbers, it’s clear that the show has fans from multiple generations who connect to these key moments in time and relate to the royal family, even from afar.

“Sometimes you can make something beautifully and with real heart and truth and just make it really, really, really well,” Foy said. “I think people see that on-screen. They see it’s not a manipulation of them as an audience or trying to appeal to them every five seconds or trying to subvert anything every five seconds. And the idea of seeing behind the veil and seeing this family when you never normally would and getting to know them as people is why they have taken it to their heart.”

“There are very few human beings that are alive who haven’t had [Elizabeth] as a central iconic character in their lives,” Morgan added. “She binds together people internationally. Everybody has been conscious of this woman and her life and her position. The image of her face has been everywhere.” That face will change in Season 3, as new actors arrive to play the lead roles. So far only Olivia Colman has been cast to replace Foy for Seasons 3 and 4, after which another re-casting will take place for the planned final two seasons. Morgan’s intention was always to switch up the cast every two seasons, another instance of genuine detail. Colman was Morgan’s only choice to take over as Queen Elizabeth and according to him, she said yes immediately. She didn’t audition or read before being cast.

“It felt like a natural thing to do in the same way you see the queen’s portrait changing on the stamp,” Morgan noted. “It made sense to have somebody of the right age portraying her.”

Foy will miss the show, but has always been prepared for her inevitable exit. “We knew that from the very beginning,” the actress said. “These parts have already been reincarnated several times. I’m not the first person to play her. So that is in the nature of the story for them to carry on and change and evolve into someone else.”

The actress is aware of the power a show like “The Crown,” which reaches so many different people, can have. She doesn’t necessarily believe that we should look to the past for lessons, but Foy sees “The Crown” as a strong reminder that humanity does often reflect backward.

“It’s very important to look at what is happening now and think about how on earth it will be viewed in 60, 70, 80, 90 years and what future generations will think of the choices that we’re making now,” said Foy. “And what does it mean? What are the consequences of the decisions we’re making? Sometimes people could do with stepping back and going, ‘What is the message we’re trying to send out to our future generations about who we are now?’”

[nickireadstfc]

The King's Men, Chapter 1 – Hello Foxhole, My Old Friend

In which the Foxes are introduced to Meat Grinder Neil, Nicky misses an opportunity for a memeworthy Christmas gift, we find out some things about Jean, and Andrew and Neil chill on a rooftop or whatever.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The King's Men.

Hello hello hello, we’re back! Welcome to the one, the only, the glorious, all-surpassing, awe-inspiring, shade-throwing, capslock-inducing and feels-wrecking finale to this hell of a ride called All For The Game - welcome to The King's Men.

Let’s start at the very front: A cover, as always, says more than a thousand words, and this cover has one clear message it shouts in the faces of those familiar with the series, clear as day and ringing like a bell: IT'S SHOWDOWN TIME, FUCKERS.

Two Exy racquets, one orange, one black, crossed, clashing. The title, half-orange, half-black. Nora Sakavic' name at the bottom, also half-orange, half-black, menacingly laughing in my face like Rumpelstiltskin on crack, glee-drunk on my surely following future tears.

Whee-hee. Let’s fucking go.

(Also, the chapters are getting much longer by this book, so y'all will have to deal with these posts being longer as well. Soz.)

          Even after a semester at Palmetto State University and a couple weeks practicing on the largest Exy stadium in the United States, Neil was still struck breathless by the Foxhole Court.

Neil, my boy, you never disappoint. Even through hardship, bruises and cuts, one thing can always be relied on: Your gigantic boner for Exy. Get a room, you two.

          “It’s time to go,” Wymack said.

          That was enough to make Neil get up, although his battered body protested.

Oh yeah, quick reminder for anyone who might have forgotten (although – why the fuck would you ever): Neil is currently walking minced meat with Trauma Jetlag™, a literal prison tattoo, and #allnatural #naturaleyes #naturalhair #nomakeup #nofilter.

Because of that, he’s obviously not that keen on running into his squad at the moment. Can’t exactly blame the dude.

If I looked like Freddy Krueger with a facial tramp stamp, I wouldn’t go around instagramming selfies either.

Especially when I willingly ran into the arms of the dude who is nationally known for giving out facial tramp stamps.

          Wymack had even locked the office in his short absence. Neil had been in there enough times to know Wymack didn’t keep anything particularly valuable on his shelves. The only thing of any import was Neil’s duffel. (…) On Neil’s first day in South Carolina he had asked Wymack to protect his things, and seven months later Wymack was still keeping that promise. It was almost enough to make Neil forget all about Riko.

Guys, this just in: Wymack is still the best damn person alive. #dicksoutforwymack

The best damn person alive also already warned the Foxes Neil looked like a human punching bag in order to prevent them from having an actual heart attack when they see him. Yay, have fun explaining yourself to them, hombre.

          Matt moved soundlessly for a few moments before he finally managed to choked, “Jesus Christ, Neil.”

          “It’s not as bad as it looks,” Neil said.

This just in: Neil is Veronica from Heathers, minus the 80’s hair-do.

In order to fulfill his self-appointed role as Neil’s mother hen, Matt then swiftly goes and punches newly-arrived Kevin in the fucking face – which is generally a sentiment I can support, although it really is not his fault this time.

          Matt stared at him for an endless minute, then said, “I want to break [Riko’s] face in six places. If he ever comes within a thousand yards of you again –“

Same, Matt. Fucking SAME.

Matt being protective of Neil will never not give me a healthy dose of The Feels™.

One confrontation down, four to go: What do Aaron, Nicky and Kevin have to say to Mr Meat Grinder?

          Unsurprisingly, Aaron was the safest one to look at. (…) Neil gave him a moment to see if he’d ask, but all Aaron did was shrug.

Glad to see the usual amounts of sympathy and care coming from one half of the Minyard Murder Twins.

Although I’m doubting the other half will muster up any more affection.

          Nicky, on the other hand looked absolutely crushed as he took in Neil’s wrecked appearance. He reached out as soon as Neil was close enough and wrapped his hand around the back of Neil’s neck, (…) carefully pulling Neil up against him.

Also, glad to see the usual freaking normal reaction coming from Nicky, aka some goddamn comforting hugs for once in this cold, cold monster squad.

Nicky hugs are the best hugs.

          At least Kevin had the decency to speak in French. “Tell me the master didn’t approve this.”

Every time Kevin still calls Tetsuji “the master”, a little tiny thing inside my heart dies.

10/10 would protect my tiny big ass traumatized son.

          “Riko said he’d hurt us if I change it back. All I can do is duck my head and hope for the best.” (…)

          “How long do you think he’ll let you hide before he forces you to show [the tattoo] off? The press will be all over this (…). He’s trying to get you found.”

Well, duh.

I’m already looking forward to Neil regaining his confidence, and then I’m looking forward to him sassing the absolute everloving shit out of whoever tries to come for him for his appearance and tattoo.

          “He wouldn’t waste his time unless he thinks we really are going to be a problem for his team That means something, doesn’t it? (…) Kevin, you do what you do best and focus on Exy. Take us where he doesn’t want us to go.”

Hell effin yes.

We’re gonna fucking make it to finals, and we’re gonna fucking shoot that dumb Exy ball so hard around those Raven Fuckers’ heads that we shoot the asshole smirk right off Riko’s ugly face.

Yas.

          Nicky looked between them as if making sure they were done, then scooped his gift bags up again and held one out to Neil.

          “Belated Christmas present,” he said, a little sadly.

NICKY LET ME LOVE YOU.

Trust this dude to always bring the sunshine around at the end of the day.

          “I’ve got Andrew’s with me, too. Actually, I got you two the same thing because you are like the most impossible people in the world to buy for.”

Knives, hair dye, black T-Shirts, cigarettes, a coupon for an anger management course,… Andreil gift-shopping ain’t that hard, homie.

But scratch all that - Nicky got them each a winter coat!

This would have been even better if Nicky hadn’t gotten the same coat for each of them, but literally the same coat – because now all I can imagine is Neil and Andrew stuck in one coat like a Get Along Shirt.

If someone makes this into fanart, I will pay you in Ben & Jerry’s. I’m being dead serious.

Four reunions done and the most important one still to go – one road trip to Columbia later:

        “If you’ll sign in, I’ll ring Dr. Slosky and let him know you’re here.”

        (...) Neil was the only one who hesitated when his pen touched the paper. Riko hadn’t let him be “Neil” at Evermore. Every time Neil answered to it on the court, Riko beat him for it. (…) Riko wanted him to know how much trouble he’d caused the Moriyamas with all of his alibis.

Jesus fuck. Is there literally anything he didn’t get beat for at the Batcave of Extra?

Actually, don’t answer that.

Also, hate to be that person again but – shouldn’t he have gotten to that bit of trauma way earlier? Wymack and the Foxes called him Neil so many times already, why is this only kicking in now?

I legit don’t have an explanation and I think it may just be a continuity error. If anyone does have a good explanation, shoot me an ask.

They sit down to wait for Andrew and to everyone’s surprise (including mine), Kevin uses the wait to do something so incredibly out of character my figurative wig was instantly snatched:

Being a compassionate person.

        “I know what he’s like,” Kevin said. Neil looked at him, but Kevin was studying his hands. “Riko. If you want to talk.”

Fucking what.

        It was the most awkward and uncomfortable thing Kevin had ever said to him. Kevin was known for his talent, not his sensitivity. (…) That he tried at all was so unexpected Neil felt it like a balm to every bruised inch of his skin.

Oh my GOD.

HE’S TRYING, he’s trying to make Neil feel better, he just wants to help and to comfort him I’m gonna light myself the fuck on fire I can’t handle this.

These Kevin/Neil feels are ambushing me out of nowhere. I was almost over this dynamic, god damnit. What the fuck.

        “[Jean’s] father owed the Moriyamas a great deal. The master paid those debts in exchange for Jean’s presence on our court. He was property, nothing more. You are the same in their eyes. (…) I know it means he did not hold back.”

Wait – does this mean Jean initially got the same treatment that Neil just had to suffer through?

WELL, FUCK.

Jean Valjean has instantly risen in the ranks of my faves.

SWEET FRENCH SUMMER CHILD. YOU DID NOT DESERVE THIS WHAT THE FUCK.

No wonder he’s a (seemingly) heartless bitch now. Kill or be killed, I guess.

        “Were you ever going to tell [Coach that he’s your father]?”

        “I was going to when he signed me,” Kevin said. “I couldn’t. (…) [Tetsuji] has never raised a hand or voice against Coach before because Coach has never been a real threat to him. I didn’t know if a confession would change things. I couldn’t risk it.”

Kevin :’( protecting and caring for Wymack :’(( just like Wymack protected and cared for him :’((((((

Before I can get too emotional over this, though, the happy Kevin/Neil Honest Conversation™ is cut short by the arrival of everyone’s favourite murder maniac, minus the meds.

(Back at it again with the alliterations, y’all.)

        If Neil hadn’t known Andrew spent the last year and a half fiercely protective and territorial of Kevin, he’d think they were strangers. Andrew treated Kevin to a bored inspection, then flicked his fingers in dismissal.

Apparently, Andrew is not that different off his meds but continues to be a Stony Sinnamon Roll, Too Indifferent To This World, Too Dead Inside™. Well, bummer.

I don't know what I expected, since we did meet him sober before, but I think I thought when he'd be off his meds permanently he'd be... More? I guess? More of a person, I mean. Less walking void, and all that jazz.

Maybe he'll come around. Give the sinnamon roll some time.

Neil and the squad, finally complete again, drive back to campus, and as they get out we get a glimpse of something amazing we'll have more of later this chapter:

It's prime fucking Andreil time.

        [Neil] straightened and turned to find out Andrew had shifted closer. There was nowhere for Neil to stand except up against Andrew, but somehow Neil didn't mind. They'd been apart for seven weeks but Neil keenly remembered why he'd stayed. He remembered is unyielding, unquestioning weight that could hold him and all of his problems without breaking a sweat. For the first time in months he could finally breathe again. It was such a relief it was frightening; Neil hadn't meant to lean on Andrew so much.

ALL-FUCKING-RIGHT.

Alright alright alright. So NOT ONLY is this gay as shit as it is, and Neil is (whether he realises it or not) super fucking in love by this point, but - "Andrew had shifted closer", bitch, what.

Don't you dare tell me that boy isn't fucking infatuated with our favourite runaway drama queen.

In today's issue of The PSU Andreil Times: Heart-Eyed Little Shit Thinks He's Being Sneaky, Fails Miserably. More news on page 19.

When Neil is done waxing poetic about Andrew's ~strength~ and his ~*~unyiedling body~*~, he goes back to his dorm for part 2 of The Matt Confrontation:

        „Neil? We're here when you want to talk about it.“

        „I know.“

Is that... Neil... close to accepting actual help from outside...

Amazing.

        He knew just from looking at Matt that Matt would accept any truth Neil gave him right now, no matter how cruel or unbelievable. He'd done the right thing by going to Evermore; he was making the right choice in standing his ground here with the Foxes. (…) If [what happened] was the only way to keep his teammates safe from Riko's cruelty, it was an easy price to pay.

Okay ya brb while I drown myself in my own fucking tears.

FOX FAMILY. STOP RUINING MY FEELINGS. I'm supposed to be cool and witty here but I can't even do that because I'm just too emotional over this.

And the fun doesn't stop here, oh no.

Are you guys ready?

I know there are some people fidgeting excitedly in their seats right now because they know what's about to come up – the grand finale to a wonderful third-book-kick-off chapter:

The goddamn rooftop thing.

        Andrew turned to face him. „I'll take an explanation now.“

        „You couldn't ask for answers inside where it's warm?“ Neil asked.

Glad to see that even when faced with his (by now Confirmed™) crush, Neil still doesn't lose his sass.

But of course, Neil is not one to keep secrets from his murder boyfriend, and so he tells him of the Christmas Fuckery – which Andrew is decidedly not fucking liking, because of course Neil left Kevin's side and therefore kind of broke their deal.

Whoops.

        „Why did you go?“

        Neil didn't know if he could say it. Thinking about it was almost too much. Andrew was waiting, though, so Neil choked back his nausea. „Riko said if I didn't, Dr. Proust would-“

        Andrew clapped a hand over his mouth, smothering the rest of his words. (…) „Do not make the mistake of thinking I need your protection.“

Okay, but don't you, though?

Neil says it himself later on, and he's entirely correct: Andrew watches everyone's backs, who's gonna watch his?

He may be an expert in back-watching, but even the most back-watchiest back-watcher in the world can be out-back-watched, my dude. And who's gonna come rescue you then, hm? HMM??

Neil fucking will, of course.

        „The next time someone comes for you, stand down and let me deal with it. Do you understand?“

        „If it means losing you, then no.“

SHIT WHAT.

Since when are our boys so damn open with their love declarations?? This was so outta nowhere?? I'm fcukign?? Having a heart attack??

And following that – of course. The one, the only, the iconic:

        „I hate you,“ Andrew said casually. (…) „You were supposed to be a side effect of the drugs.“

        „I'm not a hallucination,“ Neil said, nonplussed.

        „You are a pipe dream,“ Andrew said.

BOY.

SHIT.

IM FCIKIGN FUCKKNGING FKUCKKVMFGNICHNNNKNX

The fact that Andrew thought his feelings (THAT ARE NOW CONFIRMED, I REPEAT, CONFIRMED ANDREW FEELINGS FOR NEIL HAVE BEEN SPOTTED) were a temporary thing, unreal, a side effect of being high out of his mind, is just like kind of, casually ruining my life. No biggie.

No fucking biggie.

Andrew quickly realizes he may have admitted too many feelings though, and in a feeble attempt to save his cold front and fragile masculinity, he throws Neil's keys off the roof, because just giving them back to him normally wouldn't have been Manly™ enough.

However Neil, once more, is able to show us that he can give as good as he gets (innuendo absolutely intended):

        Neil wasn't sure why he did it, but he plucked Andrew's cigarette off the sidewalk and stuck it between his lips. He tipped his head back to meet Andrew's unwavering gaze and tapped two fingers to his temple in Andrew's mocking salute. (…) It felt like a win, though Neil wasn't sure why.

Fucking hell.

These two are going to a) improve this last book exponentially and b) absolutely fucking ruin my life.

Nicki out.

As always: If you like what I do here and you want to help me continue writing fun things for you, please consider buying me a coffee. Every lil bit does absolutely help, getting me through uni and all that jazz. Thanks so much!!

[xsocietydropoutx-blog]

Dear TVD

Warning: the following blog might be very unfocused and somewhat confusing, but that's only because I have a lot to say.

It doesn't take much to create a bad show. However, it's pretty difficult to make it good. Creating a good show from the start takes effort, talent, and luck. But you know what is super easy?

Creating a good show, and then ruining it completely.

At first, Elena is the type of girl that could make a gay guy go straight again. Just incredible. And Stefan is the type of person that would make that same man gay again. Damon, however, is the ultimate villain. Killing and tormenting people for no good reason at all.

Then, for no good reason at all, Elena starts to have feelings for Damon. Why?! He literally killed her father (or attempted to), slept with her birth mother, killed her brother, raped Caroline and abused her, tried to kill Bonnie and was responsible for the death of her grandmother, all for Katherine.

For 150 years, he was in love with her, and then all of the sudden he forgets all about her and moves on to Elena? Are you freaking kidding me?! How is that even logical?

Damon is constantly blaming Katherine of the person her became, and each time he does that, I don't know if I should roll my eyes or laugh out loud. She didn't teach him how to kill, and he was just a bad person ever since he decided to ruin Stefan's life after his transition. Plus, take Klaus for example, he was abused as a child, but not once did he blame Mikael of the person he became (only Ester, but rightfully so). Damon had no excuse of his actions, and that pisses me off.

One of my favorite characters in the show were Lexi, and of what we know, she was Stefan's best friend for over a century. And then, Damon killed her. Two episodes later, it was all forgotten. WTF?! But, when Stefan "killed" Enzo (it was a freaking self murder for crying out loud!) Damon never forgot about that, but completely ignored the fact that he left him for dead before.

Plus, Lexi is 360 years old. Remember when she went to help Damon in New York in the 80? She is a lot smarter than they made her in that scene in which she falls for Damon's crap. She would've known better.

I feel like the writers don't even know the character's personality half of the time, and just constantly change it. It's really confusing an frustrating. One minute, everyone is being mature and reasonable, and the next, they go back to kindergarten.

Normally, characters develop for the better, such as: Caroline, Jeremy, Klaus, Tyler and... well, I think that's it.

The characters that were regressed: ELENA, DAMON, BONNIE, MATT, STEFAN (sometimes) and the list goes on and on and on.....

From being the ultimate dream girl, Elena became a freaking doormat. Always obeying to Damon and being his little bitch. That's not love, my friends. That is freaking twisted.

Damon went from being a fifteen year old to being a ten year old. Makes a lot of sense, right? Plus, he is supposed to be the older brother, but not for once in the whole show did it look like that. Could've fooled me with Stefan being the eldest. Plus, in his human life, he was actually kinda nice, what the hell happened to that?! Oh yeah, Katherine. Not.

Stefan was often treated very poorly for making one bad choice. Damon has slept with so many people for so long and killed more than all of the originals combined, but when Stefan slept with Rebekah in season 4 and Katherine in season 5 people treated him like he is Satan.

Damon is the type of man you fall for in the middle of high school, change your whole personality for just to have his attention, and then he leaves you broken. That is a terrible massage to the next generation.

Stefan, however, is the perfect gentleman. Kind, smart, loving, respectful, honoring, and since he's a vampire and this is a television show -  a tormented soul that needs to be fixed. Just like Elena.

And they were beautifully broken together. Their ripped edges fit together, like they were meant to. It was more than perfect. It was EPIC.

But, sadly, other people didn't think like that. They thought that the man who is the bad guy should be the one to get the girl, because she can fix him. Have you watch the film Gone Girl? There was a sentence there that really stuck to me. "He took and took from me until I no longer existed." That is the definition of Delena. He has taken everything from her, her freedom of choice, her emotions, her family, her personality.

"That's murder."

I have also noticed how most of the fans ship Delena only because of Ian and Nina. I have asked one of my friends if she would've still shipped Delena if Paul was the one to play Damon, and she shook her head and said; "Hell no!"

I don't know if it's just me, but I've noticed that after someone dies and becomes a vampire, they become a whole different person. I hate that. You might as well have just taken the character and left it dead. I felt the fact that their emotions are heightened and whatever, but that doesn't change them.

And I don't know if it's just me, but the sire bond between Damon and Elena is based on feelings, and they didn't say what type of feelings. For all we know, they could've been hatred. Which makes a lot more sense.

I have also noticed something that happened in TVD a lot more than it should have. Once it appears as if the character has no where else to develop, it's been killed off. Jenna, Tyler, Kol, Vicky, and the list goes on. Again.

That is how they solved so many issues in the show - love triangles, characters made for one episode alone, stuff like that. And that is so immature and stupid to make a character only to kill it off.

I just have to say this: what Nina did was kind of a bitch move. Leaving the show while you're the lead actress is kinda like a company's CEO decides to quit all of the sudden. I completely understand her decision, but I think it's really something only Hollywood stars can afford to do, and that I like you spit in the fandom's face.

The show is called the vampire diaries - the diary of the vampire - the vampire is Stefan. The show is about him, not his serial killer psychopath of a brother!

By the way, the fact that Nina left doesn't mean that Elena had to go. With all of the traveler stuff, they could've just made Elena go into different body. That would've solved a lot.

A very big part of Delena's relationship is the sex. The reason their relationship even started is sexual attraction. That is a terrible message to send the future generation - have I mentioned that? I think I did. - and if Elena would've been transformed into a different body, that would have been a huge obstacle in Damon and Elena's relationship, and an opening for Stelena.

The doppelganger storyline wasn't as main as I thought it would be. In fact, I'd hoped that during her coma, Elena would have visions of the past couples and that we might get to see a few, and that they would make her understand how special what she had with Stefan truly was.

The more I write here, the more I understand I don't even like Elena anymore. I just want Stefan to be happy and the happiest I have ever seen him was with Elena.

And I just realllllyy wanna see Damon get what he deserves.

To be honest, I didn't watch the 7th and 8th seasons of the show. I promised myself that I would only if I felt like the ending was worth it. Frankly, it wasn't, so I have no intention to sit in front of my laptop and catch up, because there is no reason to. The ending sucked. Stefan was supposed to live happily ever after. If not with Elena, then by himself (Sorry Steroliners, but KLAROLINE IS LIFE) he deserved to live. I had hope that Damon would finally take the responsibility of being the older brother and finally do something for once in his whole wasted life, and help his little brother be happy, but of course not, Stefan must "Sacrifice his own happiness for the sake of other's right?" as he said in the finale of season 4. Too right.

Stelena was love, and respect, cherishing and loving the other person, especially their flaws. It was about concurring all and saving the people you care about, but remain loyal to yourself.

Delena is sex, sex, and some more toxic sex. It's putting yourself first and not caring about the amount of people that you hurt. THAT IS NOT WHAT THE SHOW SHOULD ENCURAGE!

People say that the type of people you like onscreen, especially serial killers, says a lot about your personality. Delena fans, who support this abusive relationship? They are like the watchers in Nerve, pressing on the YES button to kill the soul of an innocent girl. That is what they did to Elena. 

I asked my nephew today about his favorite super heroes, and he said "Spiderman, superman," ect. When I asked him of the joker, he said "NO! I don't like him, he's scary!"

And when I ask my friend - the delena fan mentioned before - she says "The joker is awesome, I love the bad guys."

I don't want him to grow up in a world in which in youth he is taught to help others in shows like Dora and Spiderman, and then become a teenager in a world that likes films with criminals and serial killers. Damon represents just that.

And let's be honest, every single one of the problems in the show would've been solved if Damon died in the first season.

To sum up, the show shouldn't have gone on without the main character. And I don't know if it's because I'm just hopelessly in love with the originals' accent, but I intend to watch the originals (I haven't watched the 3rd season of it as well, because I assumed that they would be linked and that I would get confused.) but I have hope that they writers will redeem themselves in the 4th season and maybe give us all the better ending we deserve.

Thank you for reading, please let me know what you think. I have no friends and I need someone to talk to about this lol.

P.S. is it just me or we still have no idea who stood on the bridge the day Elena and Jeremy's parents died? IDK...

[entergamingxp]

Five of the Best: Jokes • Eurogamer.net

Five of the Best is a weekly series about the incidental details we don’t celebrate enough. We’ve talked about all kinds of things so far from Game Over screens to Scares and Villains – there’s a whole Five of the Best archive if you’re interested. But there’s so much more to talk about too.

Five of the Best works like this. Various Eurogamer writers (and friends) share memories and then you – probably outraged we haven’t included the thing you’re thinking of – can share that thing you’ve been thinking of in the comments below. Then we all have a lovely chat about it. Your collective memory has never failed to amaze us – don’t let it stop now!

What’s your favourite joke – Aliens: Colonial Marines? No, no, I don’t mean that. But what is your favourite joke? Do you have one? I can never think of one when someone asks. I cheated and had to Google one. Try this: What do pirates say when they turn 80? Go on, guess. “Aye matey!” Good, isn’t it? How about: Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? All they said was “Bach Bach Bach”. Or maybe: How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!

I think the point here is that I shouldn’t write jokes, but thankfully there are funnier people writing them in games so I don’t have to, so here’s to laughing, here’s to jokes, and here are five of the best. Happy Friday one and all!

Monkey Island magic

I encountered Monkey Island so early on in my life that I sort of expected all games to be as witty and elegant as this one was. But there is one joke right at the end that absolutely blew my tiny mind.

The game’s over and the baddie is defeated. The hero and the governor are watching fireworks in the sky – a classic victory scene. You still have dialogue options though. And what options.

“Just goes to show,” I chose, or words to that effect.

“Just goes to show what?”

“Never pay more than twenty dollars for a video game.”

Okay. Already funny. But we’re not done.

“What’s a video game?” asks the governor.

“I don’t know,” I reply. “I don’t know why I said that.”

META.

-Donlan

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World of Warcraft gets silly

World of Warcraft – have I gone mad?! No, well, I don’t think so but then I would say that. WoW isn’t known as a funny game, although if you factor in the people you play with, it can be hilarious. Back when the game launched there was a Eurogamer guild on Bloodscalp called Elite Guard (shit name but it had the initials EG) and the guild chat was hilarious. I’d never laughed so hard at, effectively, a chat room. And the laughs kept on coming over many more weeks and months. Happy days.

But that’s not why I’ve listed World of Warcraft here. It’s here because of the jokes characters tell. If you type the command /silly into the chat box and press enter, the character you’re playing tells a joke. There are hundreds of them, a handful for each race and sex combo.

For instance, the undead male character – my main – would say, in a gravelly, sardonic voice: “Roses are gray, violets are gray, I’m dead and colorblind.” I nearly spat my coffee out when I first heard it. He also might say: “Hey diddle diddle, the mucous and the spittle. The corpse sank in the lagoon. The murloc said ‘mmmmm’ to see such a sight, and the dwarf spanked the baboon.”

This blew my mind. I cannot overemphasise how different, how alive, how charismatic this felt after coming from mute MMOs like Dark Age of Camelot. Characters didn’t do anything of the kind there, they had no voice. And I tell you what, I stood in that Undead starting area in Deathknell for ages doing nothing but standing still and telling myself jokes, lapping it up, cackling at every one.

-Bertie

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Skip to 5.40 for the Undead male jokes. They still make me laugh!

Assassin’s Creed 2 plumbs the depths

Modern day Assassin’s Creed games are – among all those sweeping, expensive-looking vistas and blockbuster action set-pieces – wonderfully warm, witty things, graced with ample charm and good humour. That’s generally been the case since the thigh-slapping high seas adventure of Black Flag, of course, but before that – based on my admittedly hazy memories of the earlier games, at least – you’d be lucky to encounter even the slightest moment of whimsy in what was an often unwaveringly po-faced and rather self-important series.

So imagine my surprise when – after the interminable, joy-free drudgery of the original game, and the somewhat mirthless opening hours of its Renaissance-Italy-set sequel – Assassin’s Creed 2 suddenly, and out of nowhere, let rip with a moment of sublime silliness. I might even go as far as to call it the greatest video game joke of all time, but I suspect it only left such an unshakeable impression because it had all been so dreadfully serious up until then.

Partway through Assassins Creed 2, you see, beloved hero Ezio runs into his uncle out in the Italian countryside. Thrilled to see his nephew again, the jovial moustachioed gent, a local to the area, spreads his arms wide and warmly exclaims – what else? – “IT’S-A ME MARIO!”.

-Matt Wales

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Everything about Portal 2

If you asked me what I thought was the funniest video game I’ve ever played it would almost be reflex at this point to gush about the writing in Portal 2. I’ve played a lot of games with good jokes, with funny moments, but there’s nothing like Portal 2’s wall to wall dedication to making the player laugh in as many ways as possible. “We didn’t jettison everything, but I absolutely do not want to try and resurrect a three-year-old meme. That seems like it would be kind of sad. It’s not a good idea.” writer Erik Wolpaw told Gamasutra back in 2010, and he wasn’t messing around. Portal 2’s consistently quick-witted gags come from not just depth but breadth, in my humble opinion. There’s the format go-tos of slapstick and ‘random’ humour that we’re probably all a bit sick of by now but they’re intertwined with irony, meta-humour, darkly-comic scenes and self-poking jabs at the absurdity of the sights around you. All of this is then bolstered by a stellar voice acting cast with honest to god comedians like Stephen Merchant playing the companion-turned-villain Wheatley.

My favourite joke of the game concerns the villainous side of Wheatley, destroying everything around him in a fit of incompetence and arrogance at the climax of the game. He has to be taken down but just like his predecessor, his clumsy but ultimately terrifying power over the automated systems of Aperture science makes him nigh on impossible to defeat. It’s a true masterpiece of a final boss battle – sheer self indulgence and bombast with rockets flying, bits of equipment exploding all around you and a cast of ridiculous personality spheres shouting out a million jokes a minute as you pick them up and chuck them around.

This game is absolutely dedicated to its comedy and could only end in one big joke, one big deconstruction of just how ridiculous the very concept of this portal gun technology is. How terrifyingly dangerous it would be in the real world. You’ve shot portals onto more surfaces you can count but they only work when you hit something that’s painted white. Why? I have absolutely no idea, but do you know what’s really big and white? The goddamn moon. That’s how you finish a boss battles in Portal 2, you shoot the boss into fucking space.

–Michael Whelan (Dicebreaker)

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The unintentionally hilarious Heavy Rain

I’m welling up just thinking about this one. The mother of all cry-laugh inducers. Where to start? I like the cars, that bit’s very good. I love the doors – top detective, flummoxed by doors. The ice, which he can’t stand on but everyone else seems to be walking over just fine. The weird skidding around every corner! Why can’t he corner?! Why do I have to press a button to get him to go around a corner like a normal human being?! Why does it not matter if you fail to press any of the buttons?! Why are the button prompts in there in the first place if they don’t matter?! Gold. I have to assume it’s funny on purpose. It has to be – too funny not to be, too po-faced everywhere else for this bit to not stand out – and honestly the game’s so much better for it.

-Taps

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This is a serious game!

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/07/five-of-the-best-jokes-%e2%80%a2-eurogamer-net/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=five-of-the-best-jokes-%25e2%2580%25a2-eurogamer-net

[dearyallfrommatt]

See the man with the stage fright, just standing up there to give it all his might.

 I don’t know who needs to hear this or if it will do any good, but I don’t have access to marijuana or any hallucinogens and I don’t want to start drinking again, but if y’all ain’t going to act right, y’all need to leave me the hell alone. We got people seriously defending the CIA and worried about communism in 2020, people defending a president’s “purge list of enemies” as a good and normal thing, and an entire party facing that sort of lunacy dedicated to shooting its own dick off if their Precious doesn’t get the nomination (or if some others’ Precious they disapprove of gets it).

 No, seriously, that’s really stupid and these are stupid times. The Dumb have won, and wrestling reality back from them might just be too much for this poor, old world. I’m not sure it’s even worth it, and even people joking about Life on Earth being wiped out by an asteroid are getting tedious. Mainly because you know they don’t mean it.

 I realize this sounds contradictory, considering I’ve pounded out going on three paragraphs doing just this (and will probably write more), but I am tired of the pissing and whining. It’s not going to stop, though. Bernie Sanders gets elected and isn’t able to pull down the whole structure of capitalism in the first week, his biggest fans will be calling for his head. Trump supporters being ground into mulch to fertilize rich peoples’ rose gardens will leap at the chance, screaming “MAGA” all the way down with a smile. You know I’m right. We are months away from them defending him having sex with underage girls provided for him be Jeffery Epstein. And if Bloomberg gets the nod and then has the dime that’s hanging like the Sword of Damocles dropped on him, plenty of “reasonable centrists and liberals” will do just the same thing.

 I’m tired, depressed, grumpy, cynical and melancholy, and to be quite frank, the anti-depressants ain’t making the nut. Part of it is my window of the outside world, Twitter, is full of guys who complain that protagonists from girls’ cartoons from the ‘80s aren’t busty enough, and this is considered serious pop culture criticism instead of evidence the guy needs to be locked away from decent society. My other option is engaging with my fellow humans here in rural Northeast Mississippi, and I doubt they want to hear it either.

 I like writing, I really do, but I’m beginning to think if I ever had a shot at making anything worthwhile out of this, I let it slide away 15 years ago when I decided I was too burned out to keep doing it. I wonder if the return of that small taste of the sublime I get from cranking out a clever(?) turn of phrase is somehow proportional to the relative lack of being completely stoned every possible waking hour. I was the type of head that wouldn’t leave the house to go buy a loaf of bread without first taking a serious lung punch of the noble weed.

 That’s probably too much. I had heavy stoners telling I was smoking entire too much weed, but on a realistic level, nothing much has changed with regards to the cognitive process. I’m still spending way too much time thinking about Jungian synchronicity or the philosophical implications of the Multiple-Worlds Theory. The colors are less bright, is all, and the jokes are less funny. Not that I’ve done much gut-laughing over the past several years, full of smoke or running straight.

 People would say, “Matt, you stop smoking all that pot, you’d have more vim and zest for living.” But here I am, making a concerted effort to not sleep all day, only wanting to get up to hydrate myself and use the bathroom, spurned on by all the goddamn medication I’m taking. None of which, by the way, can I abuse for screwing my brain up, which is probably a good thing. “Matt, you want to travel,” says my therapist. No, I don’t. I just let you think that because I really don’t have a good comeback to you and I’m too tired to come up with one. I don’t want to leave my room.

 Middle age is a drag, y’all. I understand what Pete Townsend was talking about and why he feels righteously embarrassed whenever someone brings it up. I’m supposed to be either married, kids optional, or some definition of “success” which I couldn’t suss out if you held a gun to my head. Instead, I’m just hoping my heart gives out before my teeth do.

 But I like writing, I really do. This has been very cathartic even if no one ever reads it, and nobody ever reads what I write. I get these likes on WordPress and hits on Blogger, but I’m convinced it’s like when someone with a high follower count starts following boring, slightly crude old me on Twitter. It’s a never-ending source of amazement to watch people discuss coming up with fictional stories, so many they can churn out self-described “basic generic plot” genre stories to self publish books on Amazon. I can never get past adding more plot to get in the way of the story.

 So, I write out this navel-gazing nonsense no one cares about or in-depth explorations of Doug Sahm albums from the ‘80s no one cares about or, indeed, patiently crafted explanations of why and how the Democratic nomination process does it this thing that no one cares about. It’s fun for me and amuses me, so there it is. I recall watching an old Perry Mason episode that took place at a “Camp Crystal Lake,” and realizing the only person who wanted to see a Perry Mason/Friday The 13th crossover was me, and mainly because I wanted to see Paul Drake’s smug ass gutted like a catfish. But for that afternoon, anyway, I desperately wanted to see it. And that is weird, I’m not going to lie.

 Another thing I find a nonstop source of wonder is YouTube people who’ve done five-plus years of regular episodes on crappy movies or Top 5 Examples of Other People’s Ideas. A lot of it is no doubt my own self-consciousness and body image issues, but goddamn, haven’t enough people explained why Phantasm is an awesome movie? Then again, I never have been able to wrap my head around the “Let’s Play” phenomenon. It reminds me of watching amateur porn except more depressing, and frankly, I wouldn’t want to watch someone unattractive as me fuck someone who’d be willing to have sex with me, and I’ll let you fill in those blanks.

 I had at least two more paragraphs here that apparently got ate when I tried to post the Terrence McKenna video. Just a bit of entertainment and elucidation for chewing through this mess. I guess it’s time to wrap this up and get on with my night. It’s pushing the Witching Hour and even though I don’t have anything on my calendar for the next couple of weeks, pulling all nighters isn’t as much fun as it used to be. More often than not, it’s pretty goddamn painful and takes me a couple day to get over.

 But this has been cathartic, and that’s a good thing, I suppose. I mean, I’m still gloomy and irritable, but the winds aren’t howling as loud as they were beforehand. I’ve completely lost whatever thread I had tentatively wrapped together to bring this all home. I had something for this, I swear. In the end, I suppose it doesn’t matter so long as I enjoyed myself. And I did, even if no one else reads it or, frankly, if they do read it and don’t enjoy it.

 Serves you right.

[leavetheplantation]

14 Real Obama Scandals That Have Nothing to do with His Wearing a Tan Suit

LTP News Sharing:

BY MATT MARGOLIS | PJ Media

In this Thursday, Aug. 28, 2014 photo, President Barack Obama leaves after speaking about the economy, Iraq, and Ukraine, in the James Brady Press Briefing Room of the White House in Washington. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

Five years ago last week, Barack Obama attended a press briefing in a tan suit, and the media wouldn’t shut up about it. Since then, the tan suit incident evolved into a myth that conservatives had freaked out about the suit.  

So, of course, the media has chosen to turn the tan suit into the symbol of Obama’s “scandal-free” presidency. 

Chris Hayes of MSNBC marked the occasion with a segment called “Remembering Obama’s biggest scandal: the tan suit.” 

CNN, (which once reported on Trump getting two scoops of ice cream while everyone else gets one) remembered the incident as causing “a divisive disturbance in America’s normal sartorial acceptance of the President’s choices” or something. 

The Washington Post also reflected on the “huge controversy” it caused and called the tan suit a symbol of “the relative dearth of scandals during the Obama administration.”

Once again, it seems necessary to remind the public that the Obama administration was not scandal-free. 

In fact, Obama was so dogged by scandals there’s a whole book detailing them. 

But, to prove my point, here’s are just a few of them that have nothing to do with Obama wearing a tan suit:

14. The Senate seat for sale scandal

Before Obama even took office he was implicated in a scandal involving his soon-to-be-vacant Senate seat. Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich had hoped to get a cabinet position or ambassadorship in exchange for appointing an Obama-backed individual to replace him in the Senate. Obama’s top choice had been Valerie Jarrett, and he offered to appoint Jarrett “in exchange for the position of Secretary of Health and Human Services in the President-elect’s cabinet,” but she eventually opted to follow Obama to the White House as his top advisor.

To sweep it under the rug, the Obama transition conducted an internal investigation to determine whether the president-elect had done anything illegal. Naturally, they claimed everything was above board. 

Their investigation allegedly “affirmed the public statements of the president-elect that he had no contact with the governor or his staff, and that the president-elect’s staff was not involved in inappropriate discussions with the governor or his staff over the selection of his successor as U.S. senator.” 

But, this claim contradicts both the criminal complaint against Blagojevich and numerous documents obtained by Judicial Watch through a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request.

13. The New Black Panther Party Voter-Intimidation Scandal

In May 2009, the government was on the verge of victory by default in 2008 voter intimidation case against the New Black Panther Party (NBPP), Attorney General Eric Holder inexplicably dropped the case in May 2009. 

When the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights investigated, the Obama-Biden administration refused to respond to requests from the commission and Congress and fought subpoenas. 

Federal attorneys were instructed not to cooperate with the investigation and then-Assistant Attorney General for Civil Rights Tom Perez (the current chairman of the Democratic National Committee) lied under oath about who was involved in the decision to drop the case. 

If this wasn’t a scandal, why did the Obama-Biden administration obstruct the investigation?

12. Obama’s Illegal Firing of an Inspector General 

Also in 2009, Barack Obama illegally fired Gerald Walpin, the Inspector General for the  Corporation for National and Community Service. Walpin’s only crime was that he was investigating Obama’s friend and donor, Kevin Johnson. 

Johnson had misused federal grant money for AmeriCorps by funneling it to his personal nonprofit group, paying for political activity, and using it to pay hush money to underage girls he’d sexually abused. Walpin recommended charges against Johnson and Obama, in violation of federal law, fired him. 

An investigation by Congress into the illegal firing was met with stonewalling by the Obama White House, and the withholding of documents. The Obama White House also deliberately misled Congress about the reasons for the firing.

11. The Secret Service Prostitution scandal

In 2012, members of the Secret Service were caught up in a prostitution scandal during Obama’s visit to Columbia. A member of the White House advance team was reportedly also caught up in the scandal. 

In an attempt to cover up the scandal,  the White House launched with a bogus internal investigation that predictably found that no White House staffers were involved in the scandal. 

As the saying goes, it’s not the crime, it’s the cover-up that gets you in trouble, well, when evidence emerged that a White House staff member may have been involved, the White House tried to cover that up, too.

10. The Green Energy loans scandal

Does Joe Biden really think that when more than fifty clean energy companies backed by the Obama-Biden administration went bankrupt or found themselves in major financial trouble that isn’t a scandal? 

Tell that to the taxpayers who footed the $80 billion for their “green economy” initiatives that went to companies that supported their campaign. 

The most well-known example of one of these companies that went belly-up was Solyndra. Solyndra received more than a half-billion-dollar loan despite the fact the Department of Energy (DOE) knew they were on the verge of bankruptcy.

Obama can’t claim ignorance on this one because he and Joe Biden were both personally involved in the decision-making process to determine who got loans. 

Also, only companies that donated to their campaign (or other Democrats) got these green energy loans. Worse yet, proprietary technology from companies that didn’t get the loans were given to the Obama-Biden donors that did.

If this wasn’t a scandal, why did the Obama administration stonewall Congress investigation of the matter? 

When House Republicans subpoenaed documents for their investigation, the Obama White House fired back claiming their request would put an “unreasonable burden on the president’s ability to meet his constitutional duties.”  Sure.

9. The Fast & Furious scandal

The Obama administration sent two thousand firearms across the border in order to trace them to drug cartels, and lost hundreds of them. That’s pretty darn bad. But it got a whole lot worse when a  border agent was killed with one of those guns. 

In response to this revelation, the Obama administration stonewalled and obstructed the investigation into what happened. Attorney General Eric Holder falsely claimed to have no knowledge of the operation, and Obama personally obstructed the investigation by claiming executive privilege over documents requested by Congress. Not a scandal? Really? 

Attorney General Eric Holder was held in contempt of Congress in a bipartisan vote, for obstructing the investigation. 

What more do you need to admit this was a scandal?

8. Obstruction of justice, lots of it

Obstruction of justice was standard operating procedure in the Obama administration from day one. 

In August 2014, 47 of 73 inspectors general wrote an open letter to Congress informing them that the Obama administration of obstructing investigations by not giving them full access to the information they need to investigate properly.

Such a letter was unprecedented, and the systemic corruption and obstruction of the inspectors general would have been considered an impeachable defense for almost any other president. That letter should have resulted in the appointment of a special counsel… but Attorney General Eric Holder, who famously called himself Obama’s wingman, wasn’t going to let that happen. 

In fact, neither Holder or Loretta Lynch, Obama’s second attorney general, ever appointed a special counsel, despite ample times where one should have been appointed. Obama didn’t just appoint attorneys general to lead the Justice Department, he appointed protectors to keep himself from being held accountable for corruption. 

The lack of outrage (thanks to lack of media attention to the scandal) emboldened the Obama administration to impose new restrictions on the investigative powers of inspectors general. 

Can you imagine President Trump trying to get away with that today?

7. The VA Backlog scandal

The Veterans Health Administration is notorious for large backlogs of benefits claims. While running for president, Obama promised to do better than his predecessor and reduce the backlog. When he took office, the backlog had been in decline, falling by nearly 100,00 during George W. Bush’s second term. Sadly, under Obama, the backlog started going back up. 

It didn’t just go up marginally… it more than doubled during his first term, from approximately 390,000 outstanding claims to roughly 884,000 outstanding claims. The backlog increase resulted in the number of veterans dying while waiting to receive care skyrocketing.

Attorney General Eric Holder refused to investigate the problem. Want to know why? 

Because the Obama-Biden transition team had been warned about the VA using secret lists to hide the true state of the backlog, and warned twice more in 2010 and again in 2012, but they did nothing about it, letting the problem spiral out of control. 

Does the media believe that 307,000 veterans dying while waiting for medical treatment from the Obama-Biden administration isn’t a scandal?

6. The Sestak job offer scandal

Barack Obama violated at least four federal laws back in 2010, for offering then-congressman Joe Sestak (D-PA) a job in his administration in exchange for not challenging Arlen Specter for the Democratic nomination for U.S. Senate. 

Specter had recently switched from the GOP to the Democratic Party, and that switch was contingent on support from Obama. Obama’s then-spokesman Robert Gibbs wouldn’t confirm or deny that any offer was made, but was never asked if Obama would resign after Sestak made his bombshell allegation, even after months of the Obama White House stonewalling a congressional investigation. 

Nor did they ask after the Obama White House finally admitted that Sestak was indeed offered a federal job to stay out of the election, but only after Sestak defeated Specter in the primary. 

The media was quick to accept the White House version of events, including the “everybody does it” excuse, and they accepted the White House claim that nothing improper happened. 

Even Republicans lost interest in pursuing the story after Sestak was defeated in the general election by Republican Pat Toomey.

5. The Benghazi attack cover-up

The terror attack at the U.S. consulate in Benghazi, Libya, not only threatened the Obama-Biden administration narrative that they’d been crippling al Qaeda and making progress in the War on Terror, but it also threatened their reelection. So, they lied about it. 

They called it a spontaneous demonstration in order to hide the fact it was a pre-planned terror attack and that they were grossly incapable of defending themselves from such an attack. 

So, when Congress investigated, the Obama-Biden administration obstructed their investigation with vigor. They attempt to excuse their obstruction by saying they were launching their own internal investigation, which was a complete joke because we know how their internal investigations go. 

State Department employees weren’t allowed to testify, and Hillary Clinton deleted thousands of subpoenaed emails. 

That’s called obstruction of justice.

4. Media spying scandals

The media loved Obama, but Obama didn’t love them back. In fact, Obama abused the Espionage Act to target reporters and their sources. 

Less than six months into Obama’s second term we learned that his Justice Department secretly obtained two months of phone records of AP reporters and editors. One consequence of this Obama administration spying was that longtime sources stopped talking to the Associated Press and other news organizations.

Obama’s Justice Department also secretly obtained then-Fox News reporter James Rosen’s phone records, tracked his movements, and read his emails while investigating possible leaks of classified information to Rosen for an article on North Korea’s nuclear program.  

Rosen was also threatened with jail time when the Obama Justice Department labeled him a “co-conspirator” with one of his sources who was charged with violating the Espionage Act of 1917 for leaking the information to Rosen. 

Another journalist, James Risen of the New York Times, was similarly treated as a co-conspirator with a government source indicted by the Obama administration under the Espionage Act. Risen was subpoenaed, and originally compelled to testify against one of his sources.

3. The Iran Ransom scandal

A few short months after Obama had completed negotiations for the Iran Nuclear Deal, resulting in the lifting of sanctions and the unfreezing of billions in Iranian assets, the Obama administration made a shady payment to Iran in the amount of $400 million. 

The payment was made with foreign currency and done under the cover of night. The payment also coincided with the release of four hostages and was done completely in secret.  Not even Congress knew about the payments or the hostage exchange. 

An investigation began, and, of course, it was met with obstruction by the Obama-Biden administration. Attorney General Loretta Lynch refused to answer questions from Congress about the payments. 

Details of the deal weren’t classified, but the Obama-Biden administration hid key documents at a secure site to make access difficult. 

If this wasn’t a scandal, why did they feel they had to hide information from Congress?

2. The IRS scandal

It’s amazing that anyone can still pretend the IRS improperly targeting conservative and Tea Party groups wasn’t a scandal. Lois Lerner, the former director of the IRS Exempt Organizations division at the time, admitted it happened!  

Not only were tea party groups improperly targeted, according to documents obtained by Judicial Watch, but the whole scheme was orchestrated out of Washington, D.C. 

There was also evidence of White House involvement. IRS Commissioner Douglas Shulman was at the White House at least 157 times while the IRS was targeting tea party groups. Obama’s cabinet members didn’t even visit the White House that often. 

Some IRS employees even claimed that Obama himself requested the crackdown of tea party groups. There was certainly ample reason to suspect coordination with the White House. 

The IRS was also exchanging confidential taxpayer information with the White House the year Obama and Biden were reelected.

1. The Trump spying /FISA abuse scandal

If spying on Donald Trump’s campaign wasn’t a scandal, what is? We know it happened. We know that this spying was justified using a bogus dossier funded by the Hillary campaign. 

What began as a means to undermine Trump before the 2016 election ultimately became a means to undermine his presidency. The Mueller investigation, a 22-month effort to uncover alleged Russian collusion, predictably turned up nothing. 

There’s also an ongoing Inspector General’s investigation of the alleged abuse of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act by the DOJ and FBI. The final report should be released later this year. 

Congressman Andy Biggs (R-AZ) predicted on Sunday that this report will be devastating and lead to indictments.

Matt Margolis is the author of Trumping Obama: How President Trump Saved Us From Barack Obama’s Legacy and the bestselling book The Worst President in History: The Legacy of Barack Obama.

https://pjmedia.com/trending/14-real-obama-scandals-that-have-nothing-to-do-with-his-wearing-a-tan-suit/?utm_source=pjmedia&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=nl_pm&newsletterad=&bcid=227841a8b1ca836b99e21ea36efa6859&recip=28551147

Go to Source Author: Frances Rice

from WordPress https://ift.tt/34k4yaW via IFTTT

[leavetheplantation]

14 Real Obama Scandals That Have Nothing to do with His Wearing a Tan Suit

LTP News Sharing:

BY MATT MARGOLIS | PJ Media

In this Thursday, Aug. 28, 2014 photo, President Barack Obama leaves after speaking about the economy, Iraq, and Ukraine, in the James Brady Press Briefing Room of the White House in Washington. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

Five years ago last week, Barack Obama attended a press briefing in a tan suit, and the media wouldn’t shut up about it. Since then, the tan suit incident evolved into a myth that conservatives had freaked out about the suit.  

So, of course, the media has chosen to turn the tan suit into the symbol of Obama’s “scandal-free” presidency. 

Chris Hayes of MSNBC marked the occasion with a segment called “Remembering Obama’s biggest scandal: the tan suit.” 

CNN, (which once reported on Trump getting two scoops of ice cream while everyone else gets one) remembered the incident as causing “a divisive disturbance in America’s normal sartorial acceptance of the President’s choices” or something. 

The Washington Post also reflected on the “huge controversy” it caused and called the tan suit a symbol of “the relative dearth of scandals during the Obama administration.”

Once again, it seems necessary to remind the public that the Obama administration was not scandal-free. 

In fact, Obama was so dogged by scandals there’s a whole book detailing them. 

But, to prove my point, here’s are just a few of them that have nothing to do with Obama wearing a tan suit:

14. The Senate seat for sale scandal

Before Obama even took office he was implicated in a scandal involving his soon-to-be-vacant Senate seat. Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich had hoped to get a cabinet position or ambassadorship in exchange for appointing an Obama-backed individual to replace him in the Senate. Obama’s top choice had been Valerie Jarrett, and he offered to appoint Jarrett “in exchange for the position of Secretary of Health and Human Services in the President-elect’s cabinet,” but she eventually opted to follow Obama to the White House as his top advisor.

To sweep it under the rug, the Obama transition conducted an internal investigation to determine whether the president-elect had done anything illegal. Naturally, they claimed everything was above board. 

Their investigation allegedly “affirmed the public statements of the president-elect that he had no contact with the governor or his staff, and that the president-elect’s staff was not involved in inappropriate discussions with the governor or his staff over the selection of his successor as U.S. senator.” 

But, this claim contradicts both the criminal complaint against Blagojevich and numerous documents obtained by Judicial Watch through a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request.

13. The New Black Panther Party Voter-Intimidation Scandal

In May 2009, the government was on the verge of victory by default in 2008 voter intimidation case against the New Black Panther Party (NBPP), Attorney General Eric Holder inexplicably dropped the case in May 2009. 

When the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights investigated, the Obama-Biden administration refused to respond to requests from the commission and Congress and fought subpoenas. 

Federal attorneys were instructed not to cooperate with the investigation and then-Assistant Attorney General for Civil Rights Tom Perez (the current chairman of the Democratic National Committee) lied under oath about who was involved in the decision to drop the case. 

If this wasn’t a scandal, why did the Obama-Biden administration obstruct the investigation?

12. Obama’s Illegal Firing of an Inspector General 

Also in 2009, Barack Obama illegally fired Gerald Walpin, the Inspector General for the  Corporation for National and Community Service. Walpin’s only crime was that he was investigating Obama’s friend and donor, Kevin Johnson. 

Johnson had misused federal grant money for AmeriCorps by funneling it to his personal nonprofit group, paying for political activity, and using it to pay hush money to underage girls he’d sexually abused. Walpin recommended charges against Johnson and Obama, in violation of federal law, fired him. 

An investigation by Congress into the illegal firing was met with stonewalling by the Obama White House, and the withholding of documents. The Obama White House also deliberately misled Congress about the reasons for the firing.

11. The Secret Service Prostitution scandal

In 2012, members of the Secret Service were caught up in a prostitution scandal during Obama’s visit to Columbia. A member of the White House advance team was reportedly also caught up in the scandal. 

In an attempt to cover up the scandal,  the White House launched with a bogus internal investigation that predictably found that no White House staffers were involved in the scandal. 

As the saying goes, it’s not the crime, it’s the cover-up that gets you in trouble, well, when evidence emerged that a White House staff member may have been involved, the White House tried to cover that up, too.

10. The Green Energy loans scandal

Does Joe Biden really think that when more than fifty clean energy companies backed by the Obama-Biden administration went bankrupt or found themselves in major financial trouble that isn’t a scandal? 

Tell that to the taxpayers who footed the $80 billion for their “green economy” initiatives that went to companies that supported their campaign. 

The most well-known example of one of these companies that went belly-up was Solyndra. Solyndra received more than a half-billion-dollar loan despite the fact the Department of Energy (DOE) knew they were on the verge of bankruptcy.

Obama can’t claim ignorance on this one because he and Joe Biden were both personally involved in the decision-making process to determine who got loans. 

Also, only companies that donated to their campaign (or other Democrats) got these green energy loans. Worse yet, proprietary technology from companies that didn’t get the loans were given to the Obama-Biden donors that did.

If this wasn’t a scandal, why did the Obama administration stonewall Congress investigation of the matter? 

When House Republicans subpoenaed documents for their investigation, the Obama White House fired back claiming their request would put an “unreasonable burden on the president’s ability to meet his constitutional duties.”  Sure.

9. The Fast & Furious scandal

The Obama administration sent two thousand firearms across the border in order to trace them to drug cartels, and lost hundreds of them. That’s pretty darn bad. But it got a whole lot worse when a  border agent was killed with one of those guns. 

In response to this revelation, the Obama administration stonewalled and obstructed the investigation into what happened. Attorney General Eric Holder falsely claimed to have no knowledge of the operation, and Obama personally obstructed the investigation by claiming executive privilege over documents requested by Congress. Not a scandal? Really? 

Attorney General Eric Holder was held in contempt of Congress in a bipartisan vote, for obstructing the investigation. 

What more do you need to admit this was a scandal?

8. Obstruction of justice, lots of it

Obstruction of justice was standard operating procedure in the Obama administration from day one. 

In August 2014, 47 of 73 inspectors general wrote an open letter to Congress informing them that the Obama administration of obstructing investigations by not giving them full access to the information they need to investigate properly.

Such a letter was unprecedented, and the systemic corruption and obstruction of the inspectors general would have been considered an impeachable defense for almost any other president. That letter should have resulted in the appointment of a special counsel… but Attorney General Eric Holder, who famously called himself Obama’s wingman, wasn’t going to let that happen. 

In fact, neither Holder or Loretta Lynch, Obama’s second attorney general, ever appointed a special counsel, despite ample times where one should have been appointed. Obama didn’t just appoint attorneys general to lead the Justice Department, he appointed protectors to keep himself from being held accountable for corruption. 

The lack of outrage (thanks to lack of media attention to the scandal) emboldened the Obama administration to impose new restrictions on the investigative powers of inspectors general. 

Can you imagine President Trump trying to get away with that today?

7. The VA Backlog scandal

The Veterans Health Administration is notorious for large backlogs of benefits claims. While running for president, Obama promised to do better than his predecessor and reduce the backlog. When he took office, the backlog had been in decline, falling by nearly 100,00 during George W. Bush’s second term. Sadly, under Obama, the backlog started going back up. 

It didn’t just go up marginally… it more than doubled during his first term, from approximately 390,000 outstanding claims to roughly 884,000 outstanding claims. The backlog increase resulted in the number of veterans dying while waiting to receive care skyrocketing.

Attorney General Eric Holder refused to investigate the problem. Want to know why? 

Because the Obama-Biden transition team had been warned about the VA using secret lists to hide the true state of the backlog, and warned twice more in 2010 and again in 2012, but they did nothing about it, letting the problem spiral out of control. 

Does the media believe that 307,000 veterans dying while waiting for medical treatment from the Obama-Biden administration isn’t a scandal?

6. The Sestak job offer scandal

Barack Obama violated at least four federal laws back in 2010, for offering then-congressman Joe Sestak (D-PA) a job in his administration in exchange for not challenging Arlen Specter for the Democratic nomination for U.S. Senate. 

Specter had recently switched from the GOP to the Democratic Party, and that switch was contingent on support from Obama. Obama’s then-spokesman Robert Gibbs wouldn’t confirm or deny that any offer was made, but was never asked if Obama would resign after Sestak made his bombshell allegation, even after months of the Obama White House stonewalling a congressional investigation. 

Nor did they ask after the Obama White House finally admitted that Sestak was indeed offered a federal job to stay out of the election, but only after Sestak defeated Specter in the primary. 

The media was quick to accept the White House version of events, including the “everybody does it” excuse, and they accepted the White House claim that nothing improper happened. 

Even Republicans lost interest in pursuing the story after Sestak was defeated in the general election by Republican Pat Toomey.

5. The Benghazi attack cover-up

The terror attack at the U.S. consulate in Benghazi, Libya, not only threatened the Obama-Biden administration narrative that they’d been crippling al Qaeda and making progress in the War on Terror, but it also threatened their reelection. So, they lied about it. 

They called it a spontaneous demonstration in order to hide the fact it was a pre-planned terror attack and that they were grossly incapable of defending themselves from such an attack. 

So, when Congress investigated, the Obama-Biden administration obstructed their investigation with vigor. They attempt to excuse their obstruction by saying they were launching their own internal investigation, which was a complete joke because we know how their internal investigations go. 

State Department employees weren’t allowed to testify, and Hillary Clinton deleted thousands of subpoenaed emails. 

That’s called obstruction of justice.

4. Media spying scandals

The media loved Obama, but Obama didn’t love them back. In fact, Obama abused the Espionage Act to target reporters and their sources. 

Less than six months into Obama’s second term we learned that his Justice Department secretly obtained two months of phone records of AP reporters and editors. One consequence of this Obama administration spying was that longtime sources stopped talking to the Associated Press and other news organizations.

Obama’s Justice Department also secretly obtained then-Fox News reporter James Rosen’s phone records, tracked his movements, and read his emails while investigating possible leaks of classified information to Rosen for an article on North Korea’s nuclear program.  

Rosen was also threatened with jail time when the Obama Justice Department labeled him a “co-conspirator” with one of his sources who was charged with violating the Espionage Act of 1917 for leaking the information to Rosen. 

Another journalist, James Risen of the New York Times, was similarly treated as a co-conspirator with a government source indicted by the Obama administration under the Espionage Act. Risen was subpoenaed, and originally compelled to testify against one of his sources.

3. The Iran Ransom scandal

A few short months after Obama had completed negotiations for the Iran Nuclear Deal, resulting in the lifting of sanctions and the unfreezing of billions in Iranian assets, the Obama administration made a shady payment to Iran in the amount of $400 million. 

The payment was made with foreign currency and done under the cover of night. The payment also coincided with the release of four hostages and was done completely in secret.  Not even Congress knew about the payments or the hostage exchange. 

An investigation began, and, of course, it was met with obstruction by the Obama-Biden administration. Attorney General Loretta Lynch refused to answer questions from Congress about the payments. 

Details of the deal weren’t classified, but the Obama-Biden administration hid key documents at a secure site to make access difficult. 

If this wasn’t a scandal, why did they feel they had to hide information from Congress?

2. The IRS scandal

It’s amazing that anyone can still pretend the IRS improperly targeting conservative and Tea Party groups wasn’t a scandal. Lois Lerner, the former director of the IRS Exempt Organizations division at the time, admitted it happened!  

Not only were tea party groups improperly targeted, according to documents obtained by Judicial Watch, but the whole scheme was orchestrated out of Washington, D.C. 

There was also evidence of White House involvement. IRS Commissioner Douglas Shulman was at the White House at least 157 times while the IRS was targeting tea party groups. Obama’s cabinet members didn’t even visit the White House that often. 

Some IRS employees even claimed that Obama himself requested the crackdown of tea party groups. There was certainly ample reason to suspect coordination with the White House. 

The IRS was also exchanging confidential taxpayer information with the White House the year Obama and Biden were reelected.

1. The Trump spying /FISA abuse scandal

If spying on Donald Trump’s campaign wasn’t a scandal, what is? We know it happened. We know that this spying was justified using a bogus dossier funded by the Hillary campaign. 

What began as a means to undermine Trump before the 2016 election ultimately became a means to undermine his presidency. The Mueller investigation, a 22-month effort to uncover alleged Russian collusion, predictably turned up nothing. 

There’s also an ongoing Inspector General’s investigation of the alleged abuse of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act by the DOJ and FBI. The final report should be released later this year. 

Congressman Andy Biggs (R-AZ) predicted on Sunday that this report will be devastating and lead to indictments.

Matt Margolis is the author of Trumping Obama: How President Trump Saved Us From Barack Obama’s Legacy and the bestselling book The Worst President in History: The Legacy of Barack Obama.

https://pjmedia.com/trending/14-real-obama-scandals-that-have-nothing-to-do-with-his-wearing-a-tan-suit/?utm_source=pjmedia&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=nl_pm&newsletterad=&bcid=227841a8b1ca836b99e21ea36efa6859&recip=28551147

Go to Source Author: Frances Rice

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