#let me keep my goodtime to myself

[big-red-button-official]

funny how those new-fangled smartphones dropped headphone jacks for "more battery" while at the same time getting worse lifespans and a stting that protects your battery by limiting it to 85%

[keefwho]

June 06 - 2023 Tuesday

7:44 AM

It’s time to plan new activities but frankly I do not know what to do with myself. I need to take in some new information, I think I’ve been getting reverby. Or I need to try something drastic because I feel like I’ve only been getting worse. But the mental pathways that cause all my problems are incredibly complex and ever changing, it’s very hard to keep track of them. I do know that for awhile I felt pretty okay aside from my intense anxiety but lately I’ve lost myself as a person. I think it could have something to do with how I suppress my emotions, as much as I liked to proclaim that I had become more expressive ever since last June. I keep a lot of myself in because I feel like I would push others away or otherwise be unaccepted. And my low self worth makes me feel like my thoughts and feelings aren’t valid compared to other people’s. Maybe the next week could be about trying to express myself more and I’d also like to re-read my ACT book and try to pick those ideas up again. 

Other than that I want to give the thinking a break because I’ve been doing too much of it. This is why I delegated Tuesday’s to being the time I can go wild theorizing about what I can do better and why I am the way that I am. If I do it all the time then I miss out on living life. The actions I plan on Tuesday should be helping me throughout the week so I don’t HAVE to think about things so deeply. I should trust in my own system and stick to it. 

Every day starting tomorrow I’m going to read one of the main 6 chapters in the act book. I will also find a way to be expressive in anything that I do and schedule maybe 30 minutes a day to make sure I’m doing it at least a little bit. 

I feel like something big needs to change in myself to get myself back on track. I hate feeling how I do right now. I don’t like feeling like I could lose everything in an instant all due to how fucked up I am. I think I’d need to change a lot of core behaviors but I’d need to identify them first and figure out how I could do things in a more constructive way. Part of being expressive will be trying to write my journal entries at the end of the day like the things I do actually matter. Sometimes I omit information because of how useless it is even though it was clearly important enough to be on my mind. Some of the things I find interesting I don’t think are interesting to other people or even enough so to be stated in private. I want to treat myself with more respect and let myself be known. I am valid.

8:13 AM

It’s too easy to convince myself I’m unwanted and therefore should not be taking up space. I base my value off of the perceived value others give me but not only are my appraisals usually wrong, I also shouldn’t tie my value to that. 

I remember how useful it was to realize that my thoughts and feelings are inside me and not representative of reality. But I’m finding it very hard to do that again. It’s like I’m stuck in my own skull. Almost like I enjoy being here. It’s easier to stay down than to pick myself up. But if I stay like this then I will never be happy and I WILL lose the good things I have. Good things take work and upkeep. Nothing is ever easy. But thats what makes them good things. 

10:51 PM

Time to write a journal entry like I’m valid, even if I don’t feel like it. Everything I do is important to me. It was my first day waking up at 7am. I ate corned beef hash with eggs and toast, and an entire small onion mixed into it. I started cooking late so I was a little late to streaming which turned out okay because I finished the commission early. I feel like I could have done better on this commission for Goodtimes and I wish I did. The problem was that he wanted a color scheme and lighting that I really hate so it’s hard to do well. I can’t actually tell when it looks “good” but he seemed to like it. Also the amount of time I put in seemed a bit low and I hope that doesn’t mean I unintentionally rushed it. After stream I cleaned my bathroom floor and toilet. I caught another mouse which was very cute, something about it was cuter than others. Maybe it was the way it tried sticking it’s nose out of the trap holes. It didn’t act as afraid, it acted curious like when I had pet mice that would come to the walls of the cage. It even got me considering cleaning out my old fish tank so I could keep the mouse. I also looked on Amazon for some new potential habitats. In the end I determined I don’t want to spend money and I don’t have room to put the fish tank. I also don’t want to deal with cleaning it or anything and I don’t know how cruel it is to keep a wild mouse alone. The last one I kept seemingly died of loneliness. The mouse is still currently in the trap and I think it actually died which is weird since it’s only been in there today. After my shower I made a little pizza for lunch with some of my own pepperoni and cheese added. Keeping up with the theme lately, I hung out in David’s server while I did my remaining work. I’m not feeling very confident there, I don’t relate to anyone very much. Lowkey the group calls are annoying. I kinda only wanna talk to David but everyone else swarms him since he’s like their leader. He’s expressed interest in better one on one time though, I think he might be bothered by the swarming. I wouldn’t know though and I don’t know how long it’s been going on. I’m starting to make assumptions so I’ll stop. After that I did some drawing on my own, I drew quite a lot today. I started a few things I’m excited about like my horse sona and a glory hole pic that is looking real good. Also a secret little something to go with another letter I’m going to send out as soon as possible to a certain someone. I took a break with TOTK at some point and then Daisy and I watched 2 of the new MLP gen 5 episodes. It got me really inspired to draw more ponies, I love the designs of some of them. Part of me wants to get back on brand and draw things based on the episodes. In classic fashion I want to draw some mildly brutal content, I’ve always been drawn to producing it. I like capturing something that can spark feelings of empathy, or like the feeling you get when looking at a crying puppy or something. In some way I also enjoy the kinds of people that get upset over it, they are fun to watch. But I also want to make some wholesome content because just like before, I’m not a perv for the show. It brings me true joy and comfort and I love getting invested in the world and characters. The reason I draw anything at all for it is because I love it so much. 

I forgot to read my previous entries today so I’ll try to remember to do that tomorrow morning. 

[angiethewitch]

hi cani ask if you have tip for intrusive thoughts and delusion(??) i am having not a goodtime at he moment thankyou regardless

hey love, im sorry youre having a bad time. I can only give you advice based on what helps me, it might not help you, but I hope it does.

okay, so. intrusive thoughts. theyre shit, aren't they?

remember you are not your thoughts. whatever horrible thing you're thinking, it doesn't mean you're a bad person. I promise, you're not.

the way I think of intrusive thoughts is a lot like how I think of my hallucinations. theyre a part of me. theyre like the self sabotaging part of me, trying to ruin my day so nobody else can. so try and extend a hand of kindness to yourself. tell that side of you that you understand why they feel they must do this, and that its okay. theres no point in beating yourself up over them, because then you're just being cruel to yourself twice. so tell that part of you that you understand, you don't have to like it, but you get that theyre just trying to help you.

try to express how you feel. write it down, draw it, it doesn't matter. it feels better once you can get it out of your head. just angrily scribble on a piece of paper if you want.

try to ground yourself. Close your eyes. put your hands on your lap. feel the weight of your hands, feel where your feet are touching the floor. feel your body moving. where is that feeling of horror coming from? mine is in my chest. describe how it feels to yourself. now think about what you can smell and hear. try and identify it. when you feel ready, open your eyes and bring yourself into the present. describe the room to yourself.

you can rant to me how you feel, you can go on anonymous and I won't publish it. just tell me how you feel if you want to. a problem shared is a problem halved.

I said it before, but it's not your fault, whatever you're thinking. your thoughts don't make you a bad person. intrusive thoughts are actually what you dread.

delusions:

im afraid I don't have many tips for this as I'm still learning to deal myself.

but try the grounding exercise we talked about above. if you find yourself getting lost in your head, bring yourself into the present.

try and look for evidence of what you believe. if you can tell someone else, ask them to help. for example, I get paranoid delusions of people following and gathering information on me. so what can I do to prove that to myself? you'll probably find there's no evidence. and that's okay.

I just kinda...let it flow. I try not to get stuck in the delusion. just carry on how you would anyway.

the fact you know it's a delusion is good. remind yourself of that. tell yourself "I know this is a delusion, it's still scary, but I know it's not real". be confident.

try harm reduction. so a big recurring delusion of mine is cameras in screw holes in the walls. I cover the holes up with stickers. don't encourage your delusion, just do things you know will lessen the fear.

if you can tell someone irl what you're feeling, please do. talk to your therapist or doctor if you can, or a parent, a room mate, a friend, a S/O.

acknowledge how scary it is. it's okay to be afraid. your mind, in it's own twisted way, is trying to look out for you. my therapist brought this idea up to me and its revolutionised my thinking. youre not stupid for feeling the way you do.

I know how terrifying this is, and im proud of you for reaching out. keep yourself safe. please don't hesitate to chat more if you want to. I won't judge you, I won't think youre crazy or stupid. this is always a safe place, and a judgement free zone. I got your back.

I hope you find something in here to help. I love you ♥️

[perfectmotion]

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A post shared by WILL Vs Tv (@willvstv)

Yo the soul just glowing right now kidd. You feel me sun you feel me 🌞. Share this with someone who needs to hear this. I remember the first time my spirit called me powerfully like everyday the same thing kept popping into my mind in high school. Every night it called and it was so annoying. It felt so insignificant when I’d rationalize it. It would say at night take a shower, put on some vaseline, go for a walk. Whoa I didn’t know when I finally did it my life my mental would be shifted. My emotions would begin to surface my will my desires began to surface. The walk became a jog the jog became a moving meditation of thoughts of me purging every thought in me running past it and leaving it in the past. Goals became evident and I was releasing the past in my stride and running into my future that was so bright. I was like a moth to a flame. I love my fam. Not sure what they thought but they were ok with me leaving for those evening walk jogs. I’d treat myself on occasion to a small fry or a cheese burger and small fry. Because it called to me to do so. I’m realizing that was to train me to reward myself for even the smallest of accomplishments and to keep moving forward. I forget at times you have to treat yourself and celebrate the steps you take. The making of yourself is in the process. Enjoy it celebrate your steps and know that it’s each small step that builds up to the many miles of the marathon that we call life. I live you guys. Let these intuitive things that call to you for your well being be done even if it’s just calling someone, writing an idea down, talking to self in the mirror, or buying a pack of pens from some where specific. You got this. Let me know in the comments what’s been inside you todo that’s calling strong for some unknown reason. #humnerlife #love #selflove #truth #williamkhumphrey #goodtimes #process #goals #motivation #inspiration #morningvibes #positivity #willvs #thathumanwill #mental #mind #lawofattraction #intuition #faith #silly https://www.instagram.com/p/B3mWUq0n7zF/?igshid=blr6989yunfd

[dpomalescreative]

Better to live a short life... Than to live a long life in a miserable way... Its the truth, what can I say So we must live our best life every day... Don't let the lack of money.. Get in your way or destroy your day.. Regardless of the Outcome.. I keep on betting on me... Win or Fail I do so religiously... I am a Creative.. My Passions lead me... They embody who I am... The way I act...walk ..and speak.. I see myself as a freak of nature...yet God had has blessed me I've survived a few catastrophes.   I've walked through the fire... I've overcome major injuries.. And here to speak of them personally Heart to Heart... Energy to Energy.. If I died tomorrow would I go happily There's still so much I must do... I do not wish to look like a desperate fool So I make certain to use my God given tools Raise my frequency to a higher tune... Place myself where I can do the most good Thank God I had such a beautiful childhood Growing up on the beaches of paradise Now a grown man...with a great outlook I stand tall... stay on the ball... answer the call Yes...I do what I must.. Be it a chess game that life has taken on ...call me the rook... Fortified and strong... I go by the good book... I remain blessed by God #ptsd #ptsdawareness #dpomlive #drummer #singer #goodtimes #oldschool #musictherapy #poetry #poetryworld #poetrywriting #writingtherapy #writing #therapy #music (at Orlando, Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/CfRqhQoL3Gi/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[shades1221]

#GoodTimes💯🔥 I can't fight this feeling any longer And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow What started out as friendship has grown stronger I only wish I had the strength to let it show I tell myself that I can't hold out forever I said there is no reason for my fear 'Cause I feel so secure when we're together You give my life direction, you make everthing so clear And even as I wander, I'm keeping you in sight You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter's night And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might And I can't fight this feeling anymore I've forgotten what I started fighting for It's time to bring this ship into the shore And throw away the oars, forever 'Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore I've forgotten what I started fighting for And if I have to crawl upon the floor, come crashing through your door Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you I've been running 'round in circles in my mind And it always seems that I'm following you, girl 'Cause you take me to the places that alone I'd never find And even as I wander, I'm keeping you sight You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter's night And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might And I can't fight this feeling anymore I've forgotten what I started fighting for It's time to bring this ship into the shore And throw away the oars, forever 'Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore I've forgotten what I started fighting for And if I have to crawl upon the floor, come crashing through your door Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore... #FindYourOwnHappy✌🏽 (at Midland, Texas) https://www.instagram.com/p/CMZlSQfBMrkT_gH-1J06utax2JNpZG9xkSX_0k0/?igshid=krk0eq6wrjg9

[pjcampbell]

Man, what a difference a year or so can make in your health...never let anyone tell you that you can’t push yourself to be better. I don’t think I ever realized how much weight I’d put on at one point. consider me thrilled I took it into my own hands to push myself to lose it. I’ve still got some to go to be fully happy, but I’m still so happy with where I am. If you ever wonder part of why I like showing off the shirts I’ve gotten, a part of it is because it’s also me feeling myself a bit and getting to show off my hard work, while also showing off so really designs by awesome companies. Keep it up, whenever you are. You can do it. I’m a perfect example of a dude who was lazy and didn’t like to workout. Now I love to cook and run. And my health is better for it. 🔥 . . . .#pjsphotoadventure #life #memories #smile #photooftheday #picoftheday #feelinggood #contentcreator #youtuber #podcasting #goodtimes #goodvibes #weightloss #workingout #health #change #changeyourmindset #losingweight #feelingmyself #cavitycolors #frightrags #nockingpoint https://www.instagram.com/p/CJ4qVvOD-Lp/?igshid=dibfdgsv9fzy

[womenofcolor15]

Philly Singer Jaguar Wright Rocks The Neo-Soul World With Sexual Assault Accusations Against Common, Blasts The Roots, Erykah Badu & Jill Scott

Philly songstress Jaguar Wright has made sexual assault allegations against Common, called The Roots fake, said Erykah Badu is “jealous” of her and bit her style, alleged Jill Scott slept around back in the day and much more. Whew, chile. More inside…

Philadelphia singer Jaguar Wright claims she has been letting folks "eat" for 20 years, but now, it’s “f*ckin’ over.”

The singer unleashed a bombshell of allegations in several social media videos about rappers and singers that make up the Neo-Soul world.

“The Neo-Soul movement was a fuckin’ lie,” she exclaimed in one of the videos posted to her Instagram account.

Jaguar Wright (real name Jacquelyn Wright) gained attention as a vocalist after meeting Philly band The Roots. That connection eventually led to a huge gig. She sung back-up vocals for Jay-Z during his 2001 “MTV: Unplugged” special. During her career, she released two solo albums and has toured with several artists, including The Roots.

Now, she’s calling out everyone on their bullsh*t because she’s fed up "tired of covering up the lies."

The social media tirade began a few days ago following the death of Malik B, a founding member of The Roots. Jaguar wasn’t pleased with how the other members sent him off – even though there had been friction between them.

”So, I wasn't able to be physically present at the service; but I was there in full spirit. I decided instead to do what #malikb would do.. put it to music,” she wrote on Instagram. She mentioned Questlove from The Roots blocked her and then proceeded to blast him. Check it:

          View this post on Instagram

                  So, I wasn't able to be physically present at the service; but I was there in full spirit. I decided instead to do what #malikb would do.. put it to music. We shared that philosophy he and I. So, rather than simply apologizing for ill behavior #questlove me on IG instead. Keeping it I totally understand. I'm sure that conversation with #jimmyfallon wasn't easy ... "Why is she running down on me? I didn't screw her over?!" Or something like that I'm sure. Truth is Amir Thompson handles all life situations like this. Especially the difficult ones. He can't handle real life stress; yet he consistently creates messes for other people to clean up. So glad I don't have to explain why he does what he does anyone .. I can't quite remember how many ex girlfriends were informed of their break up by a second party. Guess things haven't changed. Some people will never evolve to their higher self .. by choice .. maybe they all should listen to self love again. #facts100 #thedream #goodtime #lovesparadox #theletgo #possibilityhistorians #dalladelphia #meetthejohnsons #dallaslife #notdownwitdacovid #3xdcafe1 #newmusic #masterpracticioner #newmenu

A post shared by Jaguar Wright (@jaguarwright) on Aug 1, 2020 at 2:41pm PDT

  In a series of videos, Jaguar made tons of accusations, but one of the highlights from her allegations claims a rapper sexually assaulted her. While chatting during a IG Live session with another woman, Jaguar accused Oscar winner Common of trying to put his penis in her mouth while she slept.

"God damn Common. Next thing I know, we go to bed and he’s like, ‘C’mon Jag.’ I’m like ‘No, no, no. I’m tired n*gga. I was on the stage all night. I want to lay down.’ I laid down with my clothes on. I’m a rape survivor. I know how to buy myself a little time,” she explained.

“The next thing I know I’m waking up in the morning and I feel something poking in my face and sh*t,” she said. “I open my mouth and this n*gga tried to stick his d*ck in my mouth while I’m asleep. Lonnie f*cking Lynn, Rashid, Common … whatever the f*ck you want to call yourself. That’s why I stopped f*cking with him, because n*gga if you gonna try to stick your d*ck in my mouth while I’m asleep, there ain’t nothing you won’t do.”

Peep the clip below:

  Jaguar Wright about Common assaulting her pic.twitter.com/7SC7jDyLgW

— Hunk with some Funk (@Mr1738) August 3, 2020

  Wow. Common has not responded to these allegations…yet.  It is interesting that a few days after these accusations flew, Tiffany Haddish confirmed her relationship with Common that she has been denying for close to a year.

Jaguar then talked about Common’s ex/singer Erykah Badu and explained why she thinks the “Bag Lady” singer never liked her. She said Badu is jealous of her and her song “Booty” is about her.

”Then he got with Erykah after I f*ckin spurned him. He hated my ex-husband for I don’t know how long. No matter where we bumped into each other, he wouldn’t even look my ex-husband in the face. He would talk to everybody…real b*tch sh*t. Let’s keep it a bean. Real b*tch sh*t,” she said.

"Then he got with Erykah and then Erykah was jealous as f*ck of me. That song ‘Booty’ on that second album. That sh*t was about me. She made that sh*t up at Black Lily in New York. That line, ‘Your booty might be bigger but I still can pull your n*gga but I don’t want him.’”

Not only that, Jaguar said Erykah would steal pieces from her sets and do them on stage, biting her style.

The Philadelphia native also made allegations against rapper Talib Kweli, who she accused of being a Peeping Tom. She said he peeped in on people changing after sets at a venue in New York. Peep the clip below:

  The math is mathing. Talib BEEN a creep pic.twitter.com/tzm8Hrh3rR

— Maya Angelique (@moneyymaya) August 4, 2020

  Jaguar also went in on her alleged former best friend Jill Scott. Apparently, Jaguar helped Jill Scott on her first two album and she feels like Jill still owes her. Back in the day, Jill hated Erykah, according to Jaguar. She said their beef started when Jill felt blindsided when she found out Erykah was put on The Roots’ “You Got Me” even though she wrote the lyrics. Jaguar said the only reason Jill and Erykah are friends now is because there’s no one left for them to be friends with because they both burned so many bridges.

The Philly singer also accused Jill of sleeping around back in the day in another video.

Check it:

          View this post on Instagram

                  punks jump up to get beat down!

A post shared by Jaguar Wright (@jaguarwright) on Aug 4, 2020 at 10:27am PDT

    @jaguarwright speaking up... @common @talibkweli pic.twitter.com/UoX7melDt8

— Everyday Normal Guy (@iiiRIGHTii) August 3, 2020

  During another IG Live session, Jaguar criticized how Questlove and Black Thought of The Roots following the death of their bandmate, Malik B.

“I’m a little disappointed about that post Questlove put up too. I’m just gonna keep it a bean,” she said. “That’s what drove me crazy, sitting here holding all these lies and I don’t know why I’m holding these lies anymore. You wrote a sonnet about him and oils, talking about a ‘lighter side of Malik.’ What do you mean a lighter side of Malik?,” she questioned.

Check it:

        View this post on Instagram

                  Dropping Knowledge & Facts #nuffsaid

A post shared by Jaguar Wright (@jaguarwright) on Jul 31, 2020 at 6:01am PDT

  None of the artists she called out have responded as of yet. We could see Erykah, Jill and The Roots brushing off her accusations. However, she made very serious allegations against Common and Talib Kweli, so we wouldn't be surprised if either of them address the situation soon.

Do you believe her?

  Photos: Michael A Walker Jr/Shutterstock.com/Jaguar's IG

  [Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2020/08/05/philly-singer-jaguar-wright-rocks-the-neo-soul-world-with-sexual-assault-accusations-agai

[pizatt]

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A post shared by Patrick M. Harris (@pizatt)

Just let me reintroduce myself... My name is Pizatt...Mr. Keep the party rockin... Savage on this Mic.. Just a glimpse into my Saturday night. Saturday Night Live @willyks_greenbelt with @djblakjack on the 1s and 2s. Roll with me... Roll with me ! #hostlife #savage #goodpeople #goodtimes #drinksrus #workhardplayhard #blessed https://www.instagram.com/p/B4_xbQoh_bE/?igshid=14svgsllqal5n

[champagnespankzandbacon]

We all do it. Criticize and pass judgment from a position of hindsight. I mean, our hindsight is always the perfect 20/20 vision. What isn’t perfect is the morality of our youth. It’s crumbling and no one really knows how to ‘fix’ it. No one has answers when things are calm.  However, everyone has an answer after a horrific event like what recently happened in Florida. People jump up, throw a yellow flag and play the Monday Morning Quarterback.

Now, I know I promised a blog last week, as I returned home from New Orleans. Even had a cute title, behind the scenes photos and everything. But, we kind of returned home to a shitstorm…and writing a blog about FUN was not going to happen with about 387 on my list of things to do. I promised to keep it real when I started this blog last year, and real it will be.  My eldest decided to throw a small house party while we were away, so blogging & unpacking was delayed and operation ‘clean up’ began. There is nothing like coming home from out of town to a stinky, sticky house. Now, our house is locked down with security cameras. It is like Fort Knox—there is literally no where on the perimeter, doors, driveway, etc. of our property you can walk where you aren’t bring videoed, so the level of moronic behavior displayed baffles me. Well, let me rephrase that. It disappoints me. #ZeroRespect #TimeToAdult,ByeFelicia #ToughLove

This brings me to the topic of this blog….disrespectful children have become the norm. Not in this house any more.  Children, in general,  have a total sense of entitlement rather than responsibility. Inadequate sleep and unbalanced nutrition, sedentary indoor lifestyle…gaming, on their phones, computers…endless stimulation, electronic babysitters, instant gratification, GIVE ME, GIVE ME, GIVE ME, and absence of dull moments has overcome this generation. No consequence for their actions, mommy to bail them out. Myself included.

Americans have tried the kinder, gentler, let-me-be-your-friend approach to parenting for the last several decades. What has it done? It has turned our kids into the “I NEED MY SAFE SPACE”,  “THAT IS TRIGGERING ME”, “ME, ME, ME!”  If the behavior problems in schools and the heightened level of sensitivity and protesting on college campuses are any indication…this parenting approach hasn’t produced the positive outcomes we were hoping for. Is it time for today’s parents to reverse course and begin teaching their children to respect others first instead of their own little pampered selves! What happened to God first, then Family, then others….then yourself? 

Attempts to ’empower’ children at home and a lack of discipline in the classroom have fostered rising levels of violence, at home, at school and in the street. A growing lack of adult authority has bred a ‘spoilt generation’ of children who believe grown-ups must earn their respect. The rise of these little prince and princesses spans the class divide and is fuelling things from childhood obesity to teenage pregnancy.

Children of the spoilt generation are used to having their demands met by their parents and others in authority, and that in turn makes them unprepared for the realities of adult life.  This has consequences in every area of society, from the classroom to the workplace, the streets to the criminal courts and rehabilitation clinics. Dr Sigman, of Great Brittan, says youngsters’ inflated sense of their own importance is fuelling the obesity epidemic, because children feel they have the right to demand foods which would once have been given as occasional treats. Parents also do this because it’s easier as well. (to give in)  The consequences are measurable – Britain now has the highest rates of child depression, child-on-child murder, underage pregnancy, obesity, violent and antisocial behavior and pre-teen alcoholism since records began.

For his report, The Spoilt Generation, he drew on 150 studies and reports, including official figures on crime and data on parenting strategies. Taken together, they showed many of the problems are linked to lack of discipline, at home, in school, extracurricular activities, etc. It is being exacerbated by misguided attempts to give children “more control” over their lives. This gives them a distorted sense of reality…because the real world has RULES. LAWS. Children need rules. It’s not a free for all.  #HowManyLikesCanMyPostGet? #OhNoOnly5 #NoOneLikesMe #FML #SoStupid

Michele Elliott, of the children’s charity Kidscape, said: ‘Children no longer have boundaries. It’s bad for children and it’s bad for parents. Some parents, due to a lack of time, pressures at work and so forth, are trying to buy their children’s love, which is toxic. ‘They feel guilty for not being around as often so when their children ask for things they simply say “yes” to compensate.  #AbsentParentSyndrome #BadIdea

Teachers have zero power to deal with children these days. They are told by the students “you can’t do anything to me“. Back in the day, I would have NEVER mouthed off to a teacher like that! My mom would have made sure I wouldn’t have seen the light of day for 4 months.  I remember getting 4 licks with the paddle in 7th grade. We, students, did have a choice; detention, write the lines or take the licks….we would usually take the licks. And you did NOT want to hear the sound of Mr. Bassett whipping that leather belt off in the middle of P.E. class. That meant someone was about to get their rear end torn up! He could hold a basketball in one hand and if some kids were roughhousing, could snatch that leather belt off with the other and grab it, ready for licks. The entire gym would stand at attention. It was like a scene out of a movie…everyone would stop, and stand wide eyed, waiting to see who was would to get in trouble. #goodtimes #CrackofTheBelt #GladitWasntMe  LOL

25-30 yrs ago, we didn’t have to worry about metal detectors, guns in the school. Yes, it was around in certain parts of the country, but not like the past 10 yrs. At my high school, on the opening of hunting season and on Fridays, there were shot guns & rifles in IN trucks, right by the school, some in trucks IN the school parking lot. NO ONE shot anyone. Why? I would like to say because things were just simpler then. We had respect for each other. We weren’t so desensitized and murder wasn’t put on Facebook live. Our Video games were Mario Brothers and Pac Man– not sniper games that are so realistic that it’s kinda freaky. (I mean, you can run over a hooker in games these days) The worst type of killing back then was Frogger getting smashed by a passing car. And God forbid calling someone and getting a busy signal…or being tethered or clotheslined by a PHONE CORD. #thehorror #PhoneCords #OurKidsWillNeverKnowTheHorrorOfABusySignal

I’m not going to Monday Morning Quarterback about how to “FIX” an entire generation of spoiled, entitled, disrespectful brats (Because my kids aren’t perfect. So very FAR from it)… but what we, as a society, as parents…..what WE collectively have been doing; isn’t working. So here are some TIPS from a professional what each of us can do to start. Myself included.

Set limits and remember that you are your child’s PARENT, not a friend

Offer kids well-balanced lifestyle filled with what kids NEED, not just what they WANT. Don’t be afraid to say “No!” to your kids.

Involve your child in at least one chore a day (folding laundry, tidying up toys, hanging clothes, unpacking groceries, setting the table etc)- They can start this as young as two years old. They don’t need to be paid for helping around the house.

Implement consistent sleep routine to ensure that your child gets lots of sleep in a technology-free bedroom.

Teach responsibility and independence. Don’t over-protect them from small failures. It trains them the skills needed to overcome greater life’s challenges. EVERYONE does not NEED a participation trophy. 

Don’t pack your child’s backpack, don’t carry her backpack, don’t bring to school his forgotten lunch box/agenda, and don’t peel a banana for a 5-year-old child. Teach them the skills rather than do it for them.

Teach delayed gratification and provide opportunities for “boredom” as boredom is the time when creativity awakens.

Avoid using technology during meals, in cars, restaurants, malls. Use these moments as opportunities to train their brains to function under “boredom”.

Teach greeting, turn taking, sharing, empathy, table manners, conversation skills

Everything is NOT do it your own way. There are rules in the world

You, not your kids, get to choose who they socialize/have play dates with. If you have a bad feeling, steer them in a different direction. Remember the old saying “you are who you hang out with”

If you notice issues in your child or another child, emotional pain or if they harm themselves, threaten to hurt themselves or others, show signs of eating issues, or through cutting or burning, hurting animals…please get them help or report to their family or authorities.

Most children grow up mentally healthy, and productive members of society, but surveys suggest that more children and young people have problems with their mental health today than 30 years ago. That’s probably because of changes in the way we live now and how that affects the experience of growing up.

My hindsight is 20/20 when I think about all of the things I wish I would/could/should have done differently with my kiddo. We try our hardest to be the best mom, wife, friend, employee, volunteer, daughter, aunt, superwoman…..but sometimes the cards just land where they land, and you have to suck it up and deal with it. #JustKeepSwimming #WeDoBetterWhenWeKnowBetter #AndPray #ALOT  #WorkInProgress #JesusTakeTheWheel

Wishing you all a happy and peaceful Lenten season. Oh, and I will NOT be giving up drinking for lent. The LemonChello is in the freezer…and it pairs nicely with Champagne.

Cheers,

KP

    Monday Morning Quarterback We all do it. Criticize and pass judgment from a position of hindsight. I mean, our hindsight is always the perfect 20/20 vision.

[stardust2003]

Madferit: The Novel - Chapter 19

"What's Glastonbury?" I asked as the bus rolled on to Somerset.

           "A festival for hippies." Liam replied. "A bunch of flower wearin', pot smokin' hippies. A whole fuckin' field of 'em."

           "Sounds like my kind of place."

           He looked at me curiously. "You don't smoke pot."

           "I know." I agreed. "But I like flowers."

           The band performed that night on the Pyramid Stage.

           "Pretty big upgrade considerin' where we were last year." Noel said. He was in another surprisingly good mood but he was in his element.

           Even if it was performing for a bunch of hippies.

           Oasis weren't scheduled to play until the evening.

           "Save the best for last, yeah?" Liam said.

           "Yeah." I replied.

           We hung out on the grass with me sitting between Liam's legs. It was chilly but the sky was clear. Coats were enough to keep us comfortable as we took in the sights and sounds of the festival.

           "I'm glad you come with us." He said as he nibbled on the side of my neck. "You're a good luck charm, you are. Keep away me stage fright."

           "You don't have stage fright!" I giggled.

           "Well not now anyway! You make it all good, yeah? Keep the scary stuff away."

           I smiled as his soft lips sucked my skin. He made it hard to believe him but I liked the compliment anyway.

           The afternoon flew by and then it was time for the boys to get ready for their gig. They got started on the goodtime before they were due on stage. I made myself comfortable nearby and just watched it transpire.

When it was time, Liam led the way to the stage, bouncing around it while the others put their instruments to work. I gazed out from where I was and saw the field was covered with people for miles all cheering and screaming for the guys. It was fucking insane but fucking brilliant at the same time.

They played a mix of old stuff and new and the crowd ate it up. I, too, got taken away by it all. The sea of people. The sounds of the music. I had fallen hard for this band just like so many other people across the world.

Noel had a big smile on his face during the whole show even with Liam jumping around like a bit of a twat. I expected him to get super pissed at his little brother but maybe he was enjoying it.

After the show, we sat around a bonfire near our tents. Well most of us anyway. Liam had disappeared and told me not to wait up for him.

I tried not to worry but it was getting harder and harder each time. He'd been disappearing an awful lot in the weeks leading up to Glastonbury. He'd leave Noel's and be gone for several hours.

'He's probably just off for more drugs.' I reasoned. But even at that, Supernova Heights was full of drugs – anything and everything people could want with the exception of heroin. That was the one drug the boys in Oasis never touched. So why would he need to go out to get gear?

Maybe it was something else but what the fuck could be worse than drugs? I kept telling myself to stop thinking about it. It wasn't worth the stress.

I stared blankly at the orange and red cracking and sparking drowning out the drunken conversations around me. The heat from the flames was pretty strong but I was still cold. The air cooled pretty quickly after the sun had gone to bed. My jacket worked well during the day and the evening's gig but now things had changed.

"Here." Noel said softly as he draped his big duffle coat over my shoulders. "Don't want ya freezin' to death."

"Thanks." I said with a smile as he sat down beside me.

"Where's Liam gone?"

"I don't know. He just said he was going off like usual. Told me not to wait up for him."

"Then you'll sleep in my tent." He said quickly. He pursed his lips obviously realizing he just thought out loud. "Just so nothin' happens. I don't want someone sneakin' in on ya when he's not there with you."

I nodded a little. "And what am I supposed to do when he gets back?" I asked.

"Stay with me." He said surely. "Nobody'll mess with ya when I'm in there to block the door. Our Kid'll thank me for it in the end and so will you."

I had no idea why Noel was being so nice to me. He'd kept it up since the night I stayed in his room in London and never got upset when I left to go back to the guestroom with Liam. I knew I had no choice but to take it and run with it as far as I could.

Who knows how long it would last.

I was also shocked by the fact we were staying in tents. I didn't mind it though. I always enjoyed camping. I was just surprised the boys enjoyed it too. I figured they'd be too rock and roll to lie up like the spectators at the festival. I expected us to be put up in a fancy hotel, especially now they were the biggest band in England.

Noel's tent was no more glamorous than the others. In fact, I think it was a little smaller since he wasn't sharing with anyone. Meg came to the concert but left before the bonfire as he told her he was "too knackered" to party. I don't think she believed him but she still left anyway.

"Jesus!" He groaned as he tried to get comfortable. "Why the fuck did they give us a campsite on the side of a fuckin' hill?"

"We're not on the side of a hill." I told him.

"Well I can assure you the ground under me back ain't the least bit level! Fuckin' hell! Feels like there's rocks under there too."

"You wanna switch places?"

"No." He shook his head. "I'm for blockin' the door, right?"

"Yeah I guess." I agreed. "But you better not be all pissy in the morning if you don't get enough sleep."

"Can't be pissy with a gig to do."

"What gig? I thought tonight was your guys' only performance?"

"Well it was." He said. "But I'm doin' an acoustic one by myself. Debuting one a the new songs."

"Which one?" I asked.

"You'll see. You're comin' with me. Get a front row seat."

Channel 4 had presenters commentating on the various performances throughout the weekend. They kept the viewers at home all up-to-date on all things Glastonbury which I'm sure the people appreciated.

Noel and I were on our way to the place where his gig was going to be held (we were informed said presenters were patiently awaiting our arrival), when Liam came crawling out of his tent and tagging along after us.

"Ee-arr! Where the fuck did you stay last night?" He asked me.

"In Noel's tent." I replied calmly.

"Noel's tent? Why the fuck-"

"'Cuz you weren't here." Noel cut him off. "She don't need to be by herself with all the fuckin' weirdos runnin' about 'round here. If you'd stick around and look after her more often, I wouldn't fuckin' need to let her sleep in my tent. The fuck'd you go anyway?"

"Nowhere." Liam replied shaking his head.

"And before nowhere?"

Liam shook his head in his "it's no big deal" sort of way.

"Whatever." Noel replied with a tut. "C'mon, Addie! Don't wanna be late."

Music was a very serious business with Noel, as if you couldn't already tell. And when he knew he had a gig to do, he got to it. He wasn't about to let anyone down.

The area where Noel was set to perform was in a makeshift tent area. They had all kinds of props displayed, including what looked like a double decker bus, with the Glastonbury logo on them.

They sat Noel on a metal barrel with his guitar and two presenters came over to interview him before he played. I recognized the one as the host of The White Room. I don't know where the other one was from and quite frankly, I didn't care. They were both annoying as shit, pretending like they seriously wanted to ask Noel questions and any time he attempted to respond, they talked over him by arguing with each other. They were trying way too hard to be funny.

'Come on!' I thought as I watched it go on. 'Get this show on the road and stop dicking around!'

Finally, they walked back to where they came from and Noel began the song. It was one of the ones he made Liam pick between.

And it wasn't the one Liam left for him.

It was so beautiful. You couldn't deny that.

'Oh shit!' I exclaimed inside my head as I thought about something.

This was the song's debut...and its delegated singer wasn't singing it.

'God help us!' I thought as I imagined just how pissed Liam was going to be. This was his song after all. He and Noel both made that clear with their deal.

Noel's eyes were hidden behind his glasses pretty well but I could still see them a little. Enough to realize he was looking right at me as he sang the whole song.

We took off as soon as he was finished, leaving the presenters to interview the guy with bleached blonde hair sitting on the couch across from me. I didn't know who he was and I wasn't that interested in finding out. I heard them say he was just some regular guy on our way out.

Maybe he was.

"What'd ya think?" Noel asked as we walked back to the campsite.

"It was really good." I replied.

"It was written for you."

I stopped dead in my tracks. "What?"

"I wrote the song for you." He said. "The lyrics. Didn't you-"

"Stop!" I said as I shook my head a little. This was too hard to believe.

"What? It's true!"

"No it isn't!"

"What the fuck d'ya mean it isn't?! I wrote it so I know what the fuck it's about and it's about you!"

"I don't believe you." I said as I looked away from him.

"Well ya better believe me 'cuz it's the fuckin' truth." He replied.

"How can it be the truth when you were probably high when you wrote it?!"

"Because it just is! I know what my songs are about. All of 'em. Drugs don't cloud that for me."

"Oh bull shit!"

"C'mon, Adds!" He said. "Why ya bein' like this? Most birds would be pretty flattered to find out a song's written about them."

"Well yeah but-"

"Oi! Tix!"

I looked over to see Liam approaching us.

"C'mon, Tixie!" He said as he took my hand. "Let's go sit in the grass, yeah? You look like ya could use some sun."

"Yeah." I agreed.

The weather was much warmer that day.

I just hoped it wouldn't cause Noel to cool down.

[dpomalescreative]

I've done my part So please do yours... You've said your peace... And now it's my turn... Pay attention... Don't let the door hit you in the ass of course Watch yourself As they swing back and forth... Timing is everything... You gotta know when to walk through You gotta know when to let it close You gotta hold it open being a g3ntleman of course... You have choices to explore.. Choos3 wisely...underscore You only get one shot... For the most part... Life keeps MooVing along.. non stop It's a battle of hopes and hope nots I hope to have a better day... Things could be worse.. hope not... Can you hear me as I get warmed up Gotta keep my flow GrooVing Gotta keep Rhyming smoothly and what not... I pray you are still with me... Picking pedals off lowers like... She LooVes me... She LooVes me not Are you with me... Are you with me not.. Things get more interesting... When the mic doesn't get dropped Cuz I got more to say... As I put myself on the spot... Time to speak up... and speak out... Time to lift up... Time to break out I wanna hear you shout... It takes a tribe.. to figure this shit out... This world is crazy... down and out.. We had better stick together... We'd better LooVe each other no doubts It's all a 2 way street... Pray you have a heart... And meet me half way... Let us light up the dark... All it takes is a spark 2 flames are brighter than one... In this cold world so dark... We must ignite the spark... So Here I am doing my part... #ptsd #ptsdawareness #dpomlive #drummer #singer #goodtimes #oldschool #musictherapy #poetry #poetryworld #poetrywriting #writingtherapy #writing #therapy #music #shirtandtie (at Orlando, Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/CdbHwmKr-yM/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=