#let those damn photos die please

[endlessfuckup]

I originally wrote after seeing a post joking about a very serious thing that happened to dan and phil back in 2012.

I wrote it because the post triggered some really upsetting memories for me. I had gone through that exact thing on a smaller scale and it ruined my life for a long time.

I was going to delete it because it seemed too far and too personal.

But, I think people should read it anyway.

imagine if you posted private thoughts & photos of yourself to a place where you are certain only you and maybe, at most, 20 or so people will see them-

its your only safe place...

now imagine if suddenly a lot more than 20 people find out who you are. like millions of people. and, despite your best efforts, they find what you thought was your most deeply hidden secrets.

oh shit...

your employers see them. your coworkers see them. your friends all know now. oh god your fucking family have now seen that. All of it sent to them by some of the many complete strangers that watch you online.

oh fuck nonono...

What do you even do? What do you even say? You have no idea who or how many have seen.

maybe everyone has.....

There is nothing you can do but try to minimize the damage being done. all by yourself.

its just impossible..

what feels like the entire planet is pointing, laughing, calling you slurs and telling you to kys

you seriously consider it for a moment...

you have to just go on silently pretending that nothing happened at all. Live. On. Camera. in front of the entire fuckin world

How the fuck would you feel?

[katcoquette]

Ocean Rain

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

masterlist | taglist

summary: a simple moment with your love during a walk on the beach.

★ word count: 1.3k

★ tw/tags: not edited, cutesy, made me feel lonely, glenesque photo vs hangmanesque (it looks so cute there does this make sense)

★ author's note: it's like I can only write about rain moments or somethin lol. but fr I love writing the quiet moments and rain is always one of those for me.

It was a gloomy day, and though seeing the dark clouds overhead always put you in a good mood, it had the opposite effect on your boyfriend.

He was grumbling before he’d even walked through the door.

“Everything looks so dreary out there.” He groans into one of the pillows on the couch he’d thrown himself onto after work.

You glance at him briefly from your laptop at the kitchen table. “You’re being dramatic, Jake.” You sing-song over the tapping of your keyboard.

He stands up and makes his way over to you, leaning over the back of your chair to wrap his arms around your shoulders. “I don’t know why you get so cheery on days like this.”

You tilt your head to the side to get a better look at him and pause your typing with a smile. “Because it makes everything cozy. I don’t know why you don’t.” You reach up to the side of his face, pulling his lips to yours. “Besides, when it rains you can wear comfy sweaters.”

“I don’t think it has to be raining to wear a sweater. Plus it’s kinda hard to show off my massive biceps in a comfy sweater, darlin’.” The shit-eating grin on his face is enough to tell you that he’s joking, but you also know he wouldn’t miss a chance to show off if the opportunity presented itself. That had played a part in your meeting after all.

“You’re insufferable.” You say sarcastically, a soft laugh lingering on your lips as you glance back to your computer.

“You love me.” He keeps his arms around you while you finish composing an email, then you’re slamming the lid to signal the finality of your work day. “Let’s go on a walk.”

 “But it looks like it’s gonna rain.” He looks genuinely confused when you twist around in your chair to face him.

“A little water never hurt anyone.”

He cocks an eyebrow. “Didn’t people used to die from going outside during storms?”

His question is so sincere that you have to hold back another laugh, instead narrowing your eyes and looking up as if you’re pretending to think for a few moments. “We’re in San Diego in the twenty-first century, J. I think we’ll be okay.”

You glance out the window behind him, itching to get out of the house after a long day of working from home. “It looks like we have at least an hour.” You have no idea if that’s true. “Please?”

“Damn you and your eyes. Fine. But the second I feel water falling from the sky we’re coming back.”

He lifts his hand, and you intertwine your pinky with his own. “Deal.”

You jump up from the table and grab one of Jake’s hoodies from the closet, throwing it over the outfit you’d put on earlier when it had seemed like it was going to be a hot and sunny day.

When you walk back into the living room, you pull the front of the hoodie forward, showing it off to him. “Comfy sweater.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “You do look great in that.”

As soon as you’re both out the door, he’s reaching for your hand and loosely intertwining your fingers.

You inhale deeply, humming contently as you exhale. “Fall’s just around the corner, I can feel it.” You look over at your boyfriend with a glint in your eye, “The air feels different.”

“You say that every time it’s cloudy. I think you’re just impatiently waiting for Halloween.” You click your tongue. “This time I mean it. I’m declaring it officially.”

He chuckles, “Alright, hun.”

You spend the next thirty minutes walking toward the beach and then down the shoreline hand in hand, talking and laughing. You stall to watch the waves, pulling him to a stop next to you. When you lean into his side, he realizes you intend on lingering for longer than a pause, so he wraps an arm over your shoulders and kisses the side of your head.

“I’m glad we live so close to the water.” You mutter, and he smiles to himself, humming in agreement. “Should we head back?”

He purses his lips, “Let’s walk a little longer.”

You return his smile and bend over to slip off your shoes, shifting them into one hand. He follows your lead and then he’s taking your empty hand and intertwining your fingers once again.

It was one of the many things you loved about Jake. No matter where you were, or how hot or cold it was, if he had the chance to hold your hand he would. “I like to feel that you’re next to me. Wouldn’t want to lose ya.” He’d explain with a wink.

The sky gets darker the longer you walk, but the two of you don’t pay much attention to it until you start to feel droplets hit your skin. It makes you pause, and look up, a habit that always resulted in water pelting your face and getting in your eyes.

You blink and look at Jake, “Did you feel that?” You ask solemnly. He nods, unable to read the expression on your face.

He thinks maybe you’re upset with him, since he had made such a big deal about getting caught in the rain and that’s exactly what had happened thanks to him, but you don’t.

You break into a laugh. And when he hears it, he realizes he should’ve known better than to think you’d be mad about something so insignificant. You squeal and run towards the water, pulling him with you until he lets go of your hand.

He stops a few feet back, watching you slow to shuffle further into the cold water, despite the rain picking up. You stop and let your toes squish into the sand. The waves are rougher now, splashing up your thighs every few minutes. It makes you shiver and pull the sleeves of Jake’s hoodie down further, folding your arms around yourself.

“I could use some body heat over here.” You tease.

When he doesn’t respond right away you turn to look for him. His heart skips a beat when your eyes find his.

You tilt your head curiously at the wistful look on his face, “What?”

He shakes his head and smiles, closing the distance between the two of you. “You just make me happy to be alive.”

You playfully bump into him. “Aw, Jake-“ but he holds your shoulders in place. “No, I mean it.” His hands slide up your shoulders to gently hold your face. “You have a way of always finding the little joys in life, and it’s infectious.”

It makes your face heat, so you pull him closer and kiss him deeply, raindrops running down both of your faces.

Jake pulls away giggling, giggling, and rests his forehead on yours. “You’re so wet.” You gasp, letting out an incredulous laugh. “I can’t believe you just said that”

“Oh, we both know I didn’t mean it like that!” He smirks, “Well if you mean it like that…” His hands grab your hips, and you hook your hands around his neck, pulling him into you.

“I wouldn’t dream of interrupting this moment..” You say lowly, kissing him again. “But I am, in fact, soaking wet.”

You step back and hold your arms out to show him the completely soaked through hoodie. He looks down at his own shirt, now almost see through and clinging to his chest. “Yeah we should probably head home now.”

He sighs contently, taking both pairs of your shoes in one hand, and slinging his other arm over your shoulders. You wrap your arm around his waist and look up at him.

“So do ya still hate the rain?” He purses his lips into a smile. “Definitely not.”

[cutielando]

old money aesthetic | g.r.

social media au

synopsis: in which they scream old-money couple

my masterlist

liked by lilymhe, landonorris and 2,194,176 others

yourinsta i love life with you 🤍 tagged: georgerussell63

view all 483,957 comments

georgerussell63 i love you

yourinsta i love you more

landonorris why

yourinsta why not

landonorris we're sick of seeing your cute couple photos 😐

yourinsta not my fault

user1 they are so old-money coded i can't- 🥲🥲

user2 Y/N is the definition of perfect, George is so lucky

user3 they're so classy 😩😩

alex_albon looking good

georgerussell63 always mate

user4 will Y/N be at the next Grand Prix?

yourinsta i will ! 🥰

user3 MOTHER IN THE PADDOCK 😩😩

francisca.cgomes i can't wait to see you !!!! 🤍🤍

yourinsta me too!! ❤️

user4 the friendship we didn't know we needed

f1gossippofficial we love seeing you guys! liked by yourinsta

user5 her style is to die for

user4 for real, she is so classy and elegant all the time

user5 and she is so sweet too. i met her at a grand prix a while back and she was so happy just talking to me and stuff. even got george to sign my hat for me, she is so kind

user3 she sounds like such a nice person to be around

user6 would she accept friendship bracelets from us?

yourinsta i do !!! i have a collection at home, bring them to me and we can exchange them !! <3

user6 omg 😭😭😭😭 you just made my day

liked by yourinsta, lewishamilton and 3,913,756 others

georgerussell63 Back to work 💪🏻

view all 832,579 comments

yourinsta ooof, who's this handsome lad? 😩

yourinsta so proud of you

yourinsta i love you ❤️

georgerussell63 i love you too, baby 🤍

user1 not Y/N being just as unhinged as us in the comments

landonorris thank you for sparing us

yourinsta i will hit you 😐

georgerussell63 i'll do it for you, babe

landonorris please don't

oscarpiastri why is Lando so scared of you all of a sudden, George?

yourinsta it's me he should be scared of

oscarpiastri got it

georgerussell63 you heard her

user2 such a good weekend for George ❤️❤️

user3 Y/N was there to be his lucky charm, he did so good 🥹🥹

user4 i want what they have, i need to know what their love feels like🥹😩😩😩

alex_albon did Y/N take these photos?

georgerussell63 she did. why?

alex_albon i was just appreciating the first good photos of yours that i have seen

yourinsta don't be mean alex

user5 Y/N to the defense, we love to see it

landonorris surprised you didn't pose shirtless

georgerussell63 y/n wouldn't let me

yourinsta damn right, those abs are for my eyes only😠

landonorris i didn't need to know that

yourinsta why did you leave a comment then?

landonorris i don't even know anymore

user6 where can i buy myself a George?

yourinsta you'll find them for free in King's Lynn

user6 she responded, i'm gonna cry😭😭😭

liked by yourinsta, yourbff and 94,286 others

f1gossippofficial Fan favorite grid couple, George Russell and Y/N Y/L/N, looking as good as always during the afterparty of the Singapore Grand Prix. tagged: yourinsta and georgerussell63

view all 16,285 comments

user1 they are so old money, i swear😭😩

user2 Y/N is so stunning, George really hit the jackpot with her😩

yourbff gorgeous, my favorite old-money couple

yourinsta not you as well 🙄

user3 existing at the same time as them should be considered a blessing

user2 amen to that

user4 i wonder if the old-money aesthetic comes naturally or something

user5 probably, apparently Y/N actually comes from a very old-school rich family

user4 really? she's really down-to-earth and humble for someone who comes from a rich background

user5 she's always wanted to make a name for herself without using her family's money, apparently

user2 we love an independent queen

liked by yourbff, landonorris and 2,382,470 others

yourinsta little getaway with my love ❤️ tagged: georgerussell63

view all 938,172 comments

georgerussell63 spending time with you is my favorite thing to do🤍

yourinsta i love you🫶🏻

landonorris i thought you were going to stop this

yourinsta just get a life lando 🙄

georgerussell63 i agree with her, mate

francisca.cgomes you two are soooo cute !!!! ❤️❤️

yourinsta not cuter than you and pierre my love !!

georgerussell63 yes, we are. sorry pierregasly

pierregasly in your dreams, brit

user1 they are my roman empire

user2 WHY ARE THEY SO CUTE OMFG 😩😩😩

user3 why can't i have what they have😭😭

alex_albon you two look like you just stepped out of a novel or something

yourinsta thank you alex, that is very kind of you to say

georgerussell63 so we basically look like book characters?

alex_albon yes

yourinsta georgie, it's a good thing, don't worry

georgerussell63 ooh, got it

lilymhe alex won't do this with me :(

yourinsta UNACCEPTABLE !!!

alex_albon you haven't even mentioned anything???????

yourinsta you're supposed to read her mind, alex

alex_albon ...you are both killing me

liked by yourinsta, alex_albon and 3,284,927 others

georgerussell63 kind of seeing where the trend comes from tagged: yourinsta

view all 834,271 comments

yourinsta we're dominating pinterest right now

georgerussell63 as we should

yourinsta that's the attitude babe

alex_albon noooooo, now i can't make fun of you two with this anymore :(

georgerussell63 sucks to suck

alex_albon did y/n tell you to say that?

yourinsta no comment.

user1 they are finally embracing it

mercedesamgf1 we love you two ❤️

yourinsta we love you too, merc admin ❤️

georgerussell63 ❤️

user2 they get classier and classier every time they post ❤️❤️

user3 i want this

francisca.cgomes you two are goals ❤️

yourinsta i love you !! ❤️ liked by francisca.cgomes

yourinsta i love you, sweet boy

georgerussell63 i love you more, my sweet girl

user4 you guys are killing us

formula1wags she is the best wag on the grid, nobody can change my mind

user2 this

user3 facts

user1 she really is

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[santanasaintmendes]

what it’s like to date them ~ f2 + sebastian montoya edition

masterlist

drivers included: ollie bearman, kimi antonelli, dino beganovic, sebastian montoya and arthur leclerc

type: fluff & a tiny bit of angst

warnings: mentioning of jumping off a cliff (ollie) , small sexual innuendo (sebastian) , mention of making out (ollie), if any of those make you uncomfortable please keep scrolling!

photos are found on pinterest & all credits go to their rightful owners!

a/n: it’s my first time trying something like this so feedback is appreciated! i love sebastian montoya so i just HAD to include him. likes and reblogs are always appreciated, enjoy xx

Ollie Bearman

being ollie bear man’s girlfriend is no easy task

he’s constantly travelling around the world and sometimes being in a relationship is unrealistic for an f2 driver like him

but to be honest ollie would rather jump off a cliff than not have you by his side

the two of you are the exact embodiment of sleepy gf x cuddly boyfriend

whenever ollie gets the chance he flies you out to watch him race

late night walks together are a common thing for you both

LEGO DATES OF COURSE (reference to cosmic girl records)

cute good morning voice messages (HIS SLEEPY VOICE IS TO DIE FOR)

he’ll randomly send you photos of what he’s doing whether that’s photos of his meals or him at the gym he loves to keep you updated

in the EXTREMELY rare occasion you guys fight he’ll never EVER let you guys go to sleep without making up (and out 😌)

he loves gifting you flowers and he’ll keep one so he knows when to buy you another bouquet

he’s a goner when you play with his hair while cuddling

y’all hold hands under the table ALL THE TIME

he’s like your own personal photographer, constantly taking photos of you for your instagram or his

he 100% smiles when he reads your texts if you’re far away back home

sometimes it’s so bad that kimi and dino will tease him about it all day long

sings to you. badly, but you’re too nice to tell him he’s got a bad voice

you guys love watching movies together, whether it’s old movies like top gun or the latest ones like deadpool and wolverine

sometimes yall just sleep on the couch together

of course, ollie being the true romantic he is, loves taking you out to fancy restaurants, dancing in the rain, gives you his hoodies, the list could go on forever

facetiming and messaging 24/7

you guys could honestly talk forever, the conversation always flows so easily between you guys

y’all know that one scene in tangled where rapunzel and eugene are in the boat on the lake with the lanterns and eugene’s admiring rapunzel? LITERALLY YOU GUYS

i’d say, Ollie’s love language is 100% physical touch and quality time

homeboy CANNOT keep his hands of you, so you’ve either always got your fingers intertwined or his hands are around your waist or on your back

honestly? you couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend and ollie for a better girlfriend 💖

Kimi Antonelli

they say italians are one of the most romantic people on earth and kimi never fails to prove that to you

kimi has you laughing all the damn time with his habit of cracking jokes all day, sometimes the two of you will be sitting in silence, make eye contact and burst out laughing

he loves loves loves calling you cute names in italian, amore, bella, tesoro

he loves teaching you small phrases in italian

100% you guys are idiots to lovers, you both are lost in your own little world with humour only the two of you guys understand

kimi ALWAYS makes time for you, even when he’s tired, hes always up to call or cuddle no matter the hour

you’re a sucker for his italian accent 🇮🇹

you love playing “Bella Ciao” on full blast to wake him up from a nap

AND TRUST, at first he’s always grumpy

but he can never stay mad at you for long it’s always ends up with laughs and tickles

kimi texts you the funniest most random things

once you woke up to a text from kimi that read: do you think penguins get angry

safe to say you had to explain for the next couple of minutes to kimi that it was impossible to know because he kept hitting you with the “but why” card

he loves sending you memes that are definitely not funny just to see what your reaction is

he loves to tease you ALL the time

you guys love to take the silliest photos together

exactly like blake lively and ryan reynolds, the two of you have a good social media presence which often includes making fun of each other and joking around. it makes the fans go crazy and love you two even more

yall have shared playlists fr and kimi just loves annoying you by adding the most weirdest songs like the barney theme song or the bill nye the science guy song

he gifted you a CD player once and he loves giving you CD’s he makes with songs he thinks you’ll like

he once told you he’d step on a LEGO for you

you guys love to attend concerts when you have a chance

dating kimi can sometimes be a walk in the park and other times not the easiest

comforting kimi after a bad race is always hardest because he’s such a dedicated and passionate driver

but there’s nothing that you can’t fix, if that’s just holding him while he’s upset or just sitting with him while he speaks, you’re there for him every time

and he loves you for that, you’re both teenagers but he’s 101% sure that one day he wants to marry you, and you? you’ve known it since the moment you met him

Dino Beganovic

dino may be the funniest guy you’ve ever met

he loves seeing you smile and each time he makes you laugh or smile it’s like an achievement

dino’s also an athletic guy, always in the gym or going on hikes in whatever country he’s in at the time

and he drags you along every time

sometimes it’s a pain but it’s worth it when he has the biggest smile ever when you guys reach the top of the mountain or exit the gym

dino’s an excellent cook despite what his friends may claim

he cooks for you any chance he gets

when you first found out Dino was swedish you nicknamed him IKEA boy just to annoy him

leaving you at home is the hardest thing he has to do and sometimes coming back is even harder, but you always make sure to stay up for him so when he walks through the front door you’re there to welcome him home

you find the fact that his name is ‘dino’ hilarious so you’ll randomly send him “🦖”only for him to reply with “🖕”

if there was one phrase to describe the two of you, it would be enemies to lovers

the first time you ever met dino was when your mutual friend arthur introduced you to him, and instantly you didn’t like him

you honestly never figured out why, maybe it was because you were jealous of how confident and smart he was?

yes, that’s probably it

and when you guys first met, the feeling was mutual, dino didn’t exactly like you either

but because of arthur who was whole heartedly convinced that he could get his two best friends together, you eventually began to feel things for dino and guess what?

he felt the same

it didn’t take long for you guys to get together

and arthur made a lot of cash in the process considering the whole grid had made a bet with him

you hold it against him till this day

but nevertheless it was the best choice you’d ever made, becoming dino’s girlfriend

he’s a gentlemen through and through

you often fly out to surprise Dino at his races and its always worth it to see his ginormous grin when he sees you

you guys definitely have your rough patches in your relationship but you both work through it together every time

you guys love going on cute coffee dates, especially to the cafe’s in Sweden, the two of you have a mission to find the best cafe there

he loves taking you to museums when you both visit his home

he loves telling you stories of his childhood and hometown since the two of you both grew up in different places

before dino you’d never believed you could ever fall for someone like him, and he proved you wrong yet again

Sebastian Montoya

he’s not f2 but i just HAD to include him, he’s my cutie patootie fr

if there was on word to describe sebastian it would be oblivious

you had a good fat crush on him for a solid 3 years before the two of you got together

he just could never get a hint

you tried your best to subtly show that you liked him but he’d brush it off as you being overly kind or something like that

both of your families were super close so you basically grew up together

you were the same age as him so you were the closest out of everyone in the family

it wasn’t until your 15th birthday when Sebastian took you by surprise and confessed he had feelings for you

how could he not? you were stunning and basically his best friend. childhood friends to lovers, are you joking?

you always accompanied him to any karting competition or tournaments, you were and still are his biggest fan

sebastian is like a dream come true

he’s hilarious and sweet and caring and you could go on and on about how

he’s such a charmer, especially with his words

he loves calling you cute names in spanish such as cariño, mi amor, bebe, angelita, hermosa and so many more

dating sebastian is like you always though it would be like

he’s the loyalest guy you know

he loves going to the gym and he’ll send you photos whenever he’s there

you both have a habit of calling each other before you go to sleep, talking about how your day went or what you had for dinner that day

you’d think with both his parents being able to cook such great colombian food he’d be a great cook but you’d be wrong

sebastian nearly once set your kitchen on fire when he tried to fry an egg which goes to show just how bad of a cook he is

so you take the reins when it comes to cooking your meals when you eat together

sebastian’s probably the funniest guy you know, humour comes to him so naturally you’re almost jealous

yeah, you guys fight more than you’d like to admit, but he’s always the first one to apologise and pull you into a hug, peppering you with kisses

he’s like a giant teddy bear if they were absolutely ripped and had the biggest biceps you’d ever seen

sebastian often has to go away and he wishes he could take you along every time so when you get a chance you always accompany him

flights to wherever he’s racing that weekend is always fun

once you tried to convince him to do a face mask with you on the flight but he wouldn’t budge

sebastian loves touching you, not always in a sexual way but even sometimes just soft touches or holding hands is enough for him

kisses, kisses and more kisses

he absolutely loves it when you play with his hair

if you accompany him to the gym he’s definitely showing you off

whenever the colombian football team is versing another team you always go for the other team just to annoy sebastian

you guys often post each other on your instagram stories, usually including a joking insult

if you’d told your 13 year old self that you were dating sebastian she would not believe you at all, and well maybe dreams do come true

Arthur Leclerc

you never ever thought you’d end up dating charles leclerc’s little brother

the first time you met arthur was in a supermarket at 9pm, you were rushing around, late to a party when you crashed head on with a stranger

that stranger just so happened to be arthur leclerc, you recognised him immediately as he bent down to pick up all his groceries that had fallen on the ground

you realised you were standing there gaping, you immediately apologised and helped him pick up his shopping

arthur was taken by surprise when he looked up to see such a . . . mess. to say the least

your mascara was poorly applied and your outfit was NOT it at all

it nearly made him laugh at the absurdity of it all, and yet as he continued to watch as you apologised he was stunned by your eyes

they were well, gorgeous.

he asked for your number much to your surprise and well the rest was history

arthur is by far the most sweetest and handsomest guy you’ve ever met

he helps pick out your outfits for the day without complaint, always helping you put on your heels when you guys go out for dinner

arthur loves to be by your side 24/7

whether it’s to make sure other guys don’t get the wrong idea or just because he loves being in your company he’s always with you

but of course because he’s a formula 2 driver his job requires him to travel a lot

which often means you’re left alone, it sometimes poses to be difficult for the two of you, especially you and it sometimes ends with you guys fighting

but there’s nothing that the two of you both can’t overcome together

he looks at you like you hung up the stars 🤩

arthur loves making you laugh, it’s like he could high on just your laughter

so any chance he gets to make you laugh, he takes it and honestly it only makes you love him more

matching outfits? definitely.

cute french nicknames, mon amour is a favourite for sure

arthur loves to gift you things, whether it’s perfumes, clothes, handbags, if you linger too long on something while you’re shopping, best to know that it’ll appear in your apartment in the next week

he absolutely loves to take you on the craziest dates ever, bungee jumping, sky diving, swimming with sharks, anything that’s completely crazy? definitely.

maybe it was fate or something like that, but arthur’s grateful that you crashed into him that night in the supermarket, looking like a mess, you couldn’t have looked prettier in his eyes.

a/n: AHHH! So that’s brings us to the end, thank you for reading if you got to the end!

[thrillered]

Spencer at a " Y/N L/N is dead | The funeral roast" pretty please🫶

(Bonus points if after roasting reader he gets all sentimental and reiterates that he CANNOT live without them or he'll just die on the spot)

"Y/N is dead. | The funeral roast" | Spencer Agnew x Reader

this was so fun to write! I hope you enjoy it!

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You were sitting in the blue velvet coffin, a bouquet of fake black roses in your hands and tears in your eyes. You were in the middle of shooting your funeral, surrounded by your friends and coworkers as they roasted the hell out of you. Right now Shayne was playing the CEO of converse, crying over who was going to keep them in business now that you were gone. You looked down at your pair of custom smosh platform converse you were wearing that Ian had bought you for your 3 year ��smoshiversary’. 

Shayne finished his bit, earning claps from throughout the room. You peaked one eye open, looking to see who was going next. Tommy was stepping up to the podium, his signature lace funeral hat on. 

“Friends, coworkers… those who somehow managed to deal with Y/N, I am here to read the final will of Y/N L/N.” He began, pulling a piece of paper out of his long black leather jacket; a dig at your favorite coat you thrifted. “She left a lot of things for those she loved, I will not be reading those today.” 

You laughed, peeking at the offended looks on everyone's faces. 

“Courtney, Y/N leaves you her sense of humor. There wasn’t much of it but it was stolen from you to begin with.” Courtney gasped while Shayne let out a pfft. He turned his attention to Shayne, “Shayne, everyone knew of the “fake” beef the two of you played up on camera… so to you she left her 17 pairs of platform converse, this way you don’t have to look up to her… maybe now you'll see eye to eye.” 

You pulled a hand over your mouth, attempting to muffle the loud cackle that was escaping you. “Well damn.” Shayne sputtered. 

“To Angela Y/N leaves her entire Le Creuset cookware set. Everyone knew you were jealous of it.” 

“Okay that’s not fair, it’s literally all light blue, it's gorgeous!” Angela exclaimed.

“And finally Y/N leaves Spencer her heart… and yet he’ll still probably ask if she actually loves him.” 

“That's crazy…” You huffed, through fits of laughter. The entire crew clapping and ‘ohhh’ing at Spencer. 

Tommy left the podium, grabbing your knees as he walked by the coffin, knowing you hated it. “I gotcha!” He sneered, making you yelp.

The only person left to speak was Spencer. He was in a full suit and tie, dressed for an actual funeral. He looked really good, you just wanted to stare at him. He approached the podium, a large binder in his hands. 

“In honor of Y/N’s memory I would like to start by going through some of my favorite memories with her in this photo album.” Spencer declared, opening to a middle page of the album. “This is when Y/N and I met.” He turned the binder around, showing a picture from your first day at Smosh. 

Awe’s could be heard around the room. You scrunched your brows, not trusting Spencer to only be nice. “Then I got to know her…” He hesitated, pulling an awkward and tight grin across his face. “Then she passed. That’s my favorite” He showed a picture of you sitting in the coffin, clearly taken today.

“What the fuck?” you asked, “How did you print that so quickly?” 

“The dead don’t talk.” Erin reminded from the seats, earning a middle finger from you. 

“Anyway, time for the eulogy.” Spencer continued, tossing the album away from him, a loud clap echoing in the room as the binder hit the ground. “The world went quiet when Y/N died… mostly because she couldn’t cackle like a banshee anymore… frankly? Pretty peaceful.” 

“Oh my god.” Amanda laughed, covering her face.

“I think we can all agree that Y/N was an integral part of this company and an integral part of this cast.” Everyone nodded, Angela pretending to wipe away tears. “I mean.. Who else is gonna be worse Courtney? Or shorter Amanda? Or Taller Angela? Or less clever Arasha? Or Shayne if he was a lady barista who wanted to be a skater?” 

“Jesus Christ man.” Shayne said, shaking his head in confusion.

“He’s not wrong.” Courtney agreed, putting a hand on Shayne’s shoulder.

“But things will never be the same without her. I am reminded of her constantly… mostly because her hair is everywhere. I don’t know how she still has hair, she literally sheds like a husky; whines like one too.” 

You were shaking your head, holding in a laugh, not wanting to give Spencer the win of your laughter. 

“But seriously, I love you Y/N. I don’t know what I would do without you, I think I would actually die. Please don’t make me sleep on the couch tonight.” Spencer admitted, making eye contact with you, a smile on his face. “You mean the world to me.” 

Spencer sat down. You waited a dramatic few seconds before sucking in a large breath of air, pretending to wake from the dead. “How long was I out for?” you asked, making everyone laugh. “That was some… nice?... things you guys said about me, thanks guys.” 

“Luckily I just came from hell so I can handle the heat… I wonder if you guys will do the same,” you smirked, pulling a folded piece of paper out of your bra, unfolding it and reading it aloud, “Call me sometime, satan? Oops, wrong paper!” You joked, tucking the paper away. 

“Man what the hell?” Spencer asked.

“Well that's where she was apparently.” Shayne reminded, making himself laugh. 

“Okay this is the right one,” You began, unfolding a larger paper. “Tommy… ur gay. Courtney… ur gay. Shayne….” You stopped, staring at him for a moment before simply moving on. “Angela… me and your mom genuinely text, and I want you to think about that.” 

“That’s actually devastating.” Shayne cackled.

“Amanda… we need to hang out more.” You insisted. “But maybe just at my house, I’m tired of having to climb a beanstalk to come see you” You joked, turning Amanda's sly grin into a face of shock. “Erin… Erin Erin Erin….I lied when I said I lost that blue shirt I borrowed… I still have it and wear it regularly.” You admitted. “And you’re not getting it back.” 

“You bitch!” Erin gasped, disgust crossing her features as you blew her a kiss. 

“Last.. and least!” You emphasized, “Spencer.. My best friend, my boyfriend, and my other half… if I’m gone you’re a glass half empty. If you’re gone, I’m a glass half full.” You informed. “That’s all to say: You’re Y/N L/N’s boyfriend, and that’s your most impressive accomplishment.”

Everyone laughed, teasing Spencer with an eruption of ‘ooh’s and agreements. 

“Seriously though, I love you all so much. Honestly the specificity of each roast made me really happy, you guys really know me and that means a lot to me.” You smiled, looking around the room to each and every one of your closest friends. “And a special thank you to Spencer for loving me, even through all the quirks and flaws that were mentioned here, I love you.” You finished, suddenly pretending to have a hard time breathing before collapsing into dead weight. Then quickly waking back up, “You’re still sleeping on the couch though.” You noted, staying ‘dead’ this time.

[shygirl4991]

True Color

Summary: SMG3 was told by eggman to kill SMG4 his ex rival, deep down he knew he couldn't bring himself to harm someone he grew close to so he comes up with a plan to trick eggman. Except SMG4 wasn’t a part of the plan, the man on the floor crying not only over his dead meme but at the fact his friend and crush was about to kill him. Will SMG3 be able to live through his fight with Eggman and finally admit his true feelings, he better cause there's no way a great villain like him will lose!

Tags: Fluff and Angst, Attempted murder, love confessions, first kiss, enemies to friends to lovers

SMG3 chuckles to himself dealing with Depresso was nothing, who knew this man was so weak to rats. As he walks outside his old friend Eggman follows, he is sure to be bowing down to the proof that Three hasn't lost his touch when it comes to evil. Eggman smiles, placing a hand on his shoulder “Congrats, SMG3! There’s only one final test before you can be called a true villain again.” Three smirks, this will be easy who said you couldn't be evil and still have your hero friends by your side.

“You must kill your arch nemesis!” He shows his phone revealing footage of his Eggdog cam. How did eggman know about the camera in Four’s room? How long has he been watching the man, he made a mistake putting that camera in his room. He only did it to make sure that nothing would happen to four, now look at what he did. He felt a chill go down his back as it now hit him, Eggman wants him to kill his ex rival. The meme guardian in charge of living memes, his friend. He looks down in shock as Eggman pats his back laughing “Can't wait to see it friend!” 

Three was at his new home, sitting on his bomb chair staring at the gun in his hand. He can feel himself shaking at the thought of aiming it at SMG4, so many years of trying to kill the man and he did it all without any emotion besides anger. Things have changed so much, he remembers when he was about to die when he dropped the character he played as for so many years to finally tell SMG4 that they were friends. The day they did the heist to get his notebook back, how relaxed the two were drinking coffee when he was hit with a drawing idea and doodled the two together with coffee. Then the memory of the day everything changed for him, when him and Four held hands learning about their power and about zero. 

He points the gun at the picture of SMG4 shaking and fires, the moment he pulls the trigger he focuses on his old anger bringing his old character out.  “Finally I have a reason to kill that bozo!” He focuses on the pain he felt on Christmas when SMG4 brought up old memories. He screams as he shoots down the photo of SMG4 letting out all the anger on it, he can do this he can kill that idiot. Eggdog jumps surprised at what his father did during his private bath time, barking at his meme parent annoyed as he watches the man open a chest. “Ooooo i wonder how i should kill him! Dismemberment?” he then takes out gamer bath water out of the chest “Maybe waterboarding?” 

Seeing his father bringing out his old persona makes him start barking furiously at him, SMG3 freezes hearing his son's words before glaring at him “What do you mean? I don't care about SMG4, he sucks!” his mind yelled at him calling him a liar as he crossed his arms “I’ve had no character development with him.” He can't let it fall if he loses character then those feelings come back, he won't be able to impress his old friends. Eggdog had it with his father as he yelled back at him reminding him of all the nights he would gush about SMG4 to him, how he has become happier since the two became friends. It was becoming overwhelming for him as he covered his ears “La la la i can't hear you!

As he leaves his home he stares at the castle, he feels his hand shaking again “Damn it..Eggdog is right what am i doing, why am i trying to impress people from my past?” He remembers how insane SMG4 went trying to make the perfect video to please all his viewers. Three clenches his fist “Right…RIGHT! I can't impress everyone. The person I should be impressing is myself, and I find myself impressive enough!”

He needed a plan, so he walked up to the castle with gun in hand as Eggman walked up next to him “Are you ready?”  Three smirks “Oh yeah, this is gonna be easy!” He was always a fast thinker he knew the moment he stepped into that castle Eggman was done for.  SMG4 was humming happily as he finally learned how to hand craft memes thanks to the help of Three. SMG3 opens the door to the kitchen looking around to figure out a way out of this mess, SMG4 turns excitedly “Oh hey three!” he twitches at the nickname. He wasn't sure when the man shortened his name but everytime he hears it his heart flutters.

“I was just inventing a new meme. I call him, tomato soop and his catchphrase is gonna be BLERHG.” SMG3 stares at the meme as Four was showing it off, the idiot has so much trust in him he wouldn’t see his death coming. His stomach twisted at the thought, then he blinked at the meme. A tomato that when squish color could be mistaken for blood, SMG4 finishes explaining the meme smirking at him hoping his new meme was impressing his crush “Pretty memey right?” 

Three walks forward, his eyes dark as he goes over his plan in his head, on one hand a voice was telling him to do it. SMG4 hasn't done anything for him so why let him live? But that wasn't him that was the old him that he made to protect himself in a world that saw him as evil. SMG4 eyes drop down noticing the gun “Oh a glock!” he starts to get nervous “Whatcha…gonna do with that…” once SMG3 got close enough he decided what he had to do “Oh…something i should have done long ago.” He points the gun at SMG4 causing panic in the man, this couldn't be happening this isn't the SMG3 he knows why would he point a gun at him “THREE WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?” 

Three’s eyes flicker to the newly made meme, he had to do it to protect him, his gaze softened as he looked back at Four “I’m sorry… I have to do this.” SMG4 shakes unsure what was going on then the gun moved slightly to his left and fired, Four blinks and slowly turns to see Three had shot his newly made meme getting tomato juice all over the window. Eggman lets out an evil smile seeing the red splatter on the window, he walks into the castle laughing “Ho hoo good job. I guess I underestimated your evil intentions 3.  I’m glad my old evil buddy is still-” he freezes seeing a tomato with a gunshot wound “Hey what the fuck?” 

SMG3 smirks as he charges at Eggman jumping up and kicking him in the face, while he may not be as fast and flexible as his partner he still had his talents in his strength. “Sike Mother fucker!” SMG4 runs to his meme with his eyes starting to water “My tomato soup meme!” SMG3 places his hands on his hips, annoyed at his other half “DUDE! Dont ruin my epic twist! I was actually considering killing you! Like usual…” he added the last bit to make sure he wasn't showing his true emotions. 

Hearing that line made Four forget about his meme as he looked at SMG3 heartbroken “You were actually going to kill me?!” that can be true could it? He felt his tears escape knowing that he would have been dead if SMG3 didn't change his mind at the last minute, what did it mean was everything they went through all for nothing? He starts crying loudly causing SMG3 to smack him, Four was startled from the hit looking at the man who was glaring at the spot Eggman was at.

Eggman gets up “I KNEW YOU DIDN'T HAVE IT IN YOU!”

SMG3 rolls his eyes “Nah i think murder isn't very evil villainy, you people should know all villains have a code. Plus PAIN AND SUFFERING IS MORE MY STYLE!” Eggman looks down at Three who had a huge shit eating grin “Pathetic,” he now knows that SMG3 was a lost cause. But he still had some hope that something would knock common sense back to Three “All villains murder!” he takes out a rocket launcher “Allow me to demonstrate!” He points the rocket to SMG3. The man only smiles at Eggman; he spent his whole life with weapons pointed at him and eldritch gods trying to kill him, an egg-shaped villain doesn't scare him.

That was until the weapon moved targets, his eyes going wide as he watched Eggman point the rocket at SMG4. He growls at Eggman as he dashes at the man moving the rocket to not hit Four, the rocket flies out hitting the roof of the castle, an old man in a bathtub falls down confusing the pair for a moment. Seeing Eggman distracted he turns and punches the man, picking up the man on the floor he smirks ready to give the man a beating for even thinking about killing SMG4. 

“I DON'T NEED TO PROVE SHIT!” he was done with the world making him a villain, he won't let anyone change him again. Eggman, finally understanding his old friend is gone, decides to teach Three a lesson, calling his ride down squishing Three he launches them up in the air “Enjoy your last breath!”

The higher they went the more he was struggling to breath, his vision was getting blurring as he took deep breaths. An idea hits him as he turns trying to keep his breathing steady from the height “Why don't you go and steal the moon or something.” He starts to take apart the vehicle. SMG4 walks outside with his injured meme looking up at the sky confused, scared and nervous about what was going on. SMG3 looks down then back at what he was doing as he removes the last part causing the vehicle to malfunction. SMG3 takes one last deep breath, he was a meme guardian he will trust his power that falling from this height won't kill him. He winks at eggman before letting go and falling off, SMG4 drops his meme running around in a panic trying to guess where the man was going to land.

He dives, catching SMG3 quickly and lifts up the man checking if he is okay. SMG3 coughs trying to bring oxygen to his lungs “SMG4?” he turns and looks at the man's face “Yeah it's me, i don't know what the hell is going on but..i'm so glad you're okay..you are okay right?” Three coughs feeling his lungs burn, the world still looked blurry for him as Four did his best to make sure the man was comfy by laying  him on his lap.

SMG4 starts to cry again feeling so many conflicting emotions he felt he was going to just blow from all of it, he holds Three’s hand shaking slightly “Even after everything…were you really going to kill me…do you still hate me?” Hearing the pain and sadness in Fours voice broke SMG3's character, maybe for once he can let himself show to stop his idiot from crying. Weakly he reaches for SMG4 face “No you idiot, sure it was tempting since on christmas you made a shitty comment without thinking but i could never kill you…you mean too much to me.” Four’s eyes go wide as he wipes his tears, Three coughs annoyed by the pain he feels “HEY STAY WITH ME uh er maybe i have a first aid kit for this wait for me!”  He gently put Three on the floor and was going to run inside only to be stopped. 

He turned to see Three grabbing his hand “Hey..Four..thank you for being my friend.” SMG4 heart flutters finally hearing Three call him by his nickname “Hey now you're not going anywhere,” he wiggles free to sprint inside getting the first aid kit.  After taking care of Three they both sit together outside looking at the sky, Three was starting to feel better as he leaned on Four “I know today must have been a shit show for you, so in short I had old friends try to change me but you know what SMG4?” the man hums as he waters his meme helping it feel better.

Suddenly Three turned his face getting close, Four blushed unsure what was happening “I realized i don't need to prove to anyone how evil i am. I don't need to prove anything because I'm happy just the way I am.” SMG4 smiles softly at him leaning into his touch “heh well i'm happy your you to three, you had me scared you know i really thought i did something wrong or…you lied about being friends again.”

SMG3 frowns at the memory, he did a lot of bad in the past to think he was here at this moment with someone he used to want dead. Now the thought of anything happening to Four made him sick, it made him angry. It then clicked to him all those confusing feelings he had these past months, he was falling for his rival after everything they went through he grew to love the man in front of him. He would kill for this man, he would die for him. Four was giving a confused look to Three wondering why he was still caressing his face only for his eyes to go wide as Three leaned forward kissing him.

SMG4 felt as though his body was being electrocuted from the sparks he was feeling from the kiss, dropping the watering can he turns his body and wraps his arms around Three’s neck kissing him back. Eggman’s plan was to bring SMG3 back to the dark side but all he did was show Three just how amazing the light was, he won't ever let this go no one will ever lay a hand on his SMG4 as long as he lives. 

It was the next day and SMG3 smirks as he traumatizes Steve by telling him his sandwich was made of chicken, he does his evil laugh not noticing his boyfriend was rolling his eyes “I see some things never change huh?” Four pats Three’s back only to get a smirk from the other man “Hey now scrub you say this but you wouldn't have me any other way!”

Four chuckles and nods “I wouldn't want you any other way three, now uh could i get my coffee i have been waiting here for an hour.”

“Nope, just cause you're dating me doesn't mean you can skip the line now go sit and wait or i'm going to make you wait even more!”  Four signs before letting out a smirk he quickly kisses Three’s cheek making the man's face go red “WHAT THE!? THATS IT NOW YOUR NOT GETTING SHIT YOU…YOU…baka.” he lets out a soft smile before going back to work red in the face.

[t0ast-ghost]

S3 EP12 (The Empath) ohhhh no. Oh no. Oh nononono no.

Aughgg:

- The three of them beaming down to a planet. What a good way to start an episode!

- Kirk protecting his ship over all

- Kirk had to watch Spock and Bones disappear. He had to watch them disappear and be left alone to call out their names in vain

- Kirk’s body left an ass imprint in the sand

- Together again! In the void!

- Showing what’s on the tricorder is so silly of them

- WHAT TGE FUCJ ARE THOSE

- “We Come—” *gets shot*

- Get hit with the gay beam. The photos don’t do it justice but I’m not taking a video because there’s flashing lights (careful showing this to your photosensitive friends!)

- Jim is so enchanted by her, it’s adorable 🥰

- THIS. This is his character. At least the part that is so often discarded. He’s not holding her hand out of a want to romance her or anything like that. He’s holding it because he wants to protect and comfort her. He’s just like this and it’s so so soft.

- Kirk calling them over as he’s just horrified and disgusted. Then Bones calling them over. Like idk I’m happy over them saying each others names, I’m in too deep

- Each of them facing what are basically their own graves

- Too good to be true. They ain’t escaping

- this

- “The prime ingredients” to what? Suffer soup?

- McCoy straight up objecting to Kirk’s sacrifice while Spock offers himself instead

- “What happened to my men!?” CALL THEM YOUR BOYFRIENDS. On another note, Kirk is so fiercely protective of them and so angry and scared that’s something has or will happen to them

- Annnnd they made him shirtless

- “We’ve already observed the intensity of your passions, and gauged your capacity to love others.” Here they are directly referring to how Kirk loves McCoy and Spock

- Spock and McCoy in da void

- McCoy begging for Gem to help Kirk because he can’t help Kirk

- This healing scene is going on for a very long time. An uncomfortable amount of time.

- Like a renaissance painting

- “Spock why do you have to get so analytical?”

- What kind of choice is that? McCoy will probably die and Spock will suffer brain damage

- “I’m a doctor, not a coal miner.” Yippee!!!

- Spock and McCoy both want to sacrifice themselves

- McCoy just fucking drugged Kirk!!!

- Spock you bitch! Don’t sacrifice yourself bbygirl

- Gem is helping McCoy. She understands. “Your action is highly unethical!” Spock shouts but McCoy can’t allow Spock to go with them

- “Why did you let him do it?” “I was convinced in the same way you were captain— by the doctors hypo.” They’re so worried about their boyfriend

- “And they keep McCoy.” Damn every alien planet wants to keep this man. I mean I get it but like.. damn

- HOLY SHIT WHAT DID THEY DO TO HIM

- he’s in so much distress

- SAVE HIM! Please! Gem save him!

- He’s holding him so gently

- “You’ve got a good bedside manner, Spock.” What. Why. Why are you flirting. Right now?!?

- Spock takes longer to leave McCoy’s side

- “Each of you was willing to give his life for the others.” Yeah! Cause they’re in love!

- Damn they’re just torturing her

- He starts coughing and Jim looks so worried that I wanna write a sick fic based on that look alone

- McCoy wakes up and immediately calls for Jim and Spock omg omg

- good point Kirk. They (the aliens) are fucking hypocrites

- forgive the horrible photo quality. They’re just little guys

- Spock is smiling here. Like you cannot deny he’s smiling here. He’s so happy that the doctor is alive and that he gets to joke with him and Jim on the bridge

A couple of busy days went by but I’ll keep posting :)

Masterpost

Episode written by Joyce Muskat

[skywlker-sluvtt]

Oh damn I saw someone do 📸 and Luke a while back (and it was so cute!) but I can't find the post at all, would you be willing to do a headcanon for it? Thanks!

of courseeeee i'm down bad for this with lukey <3

@generalkenobee for when you wake up hheheheh

luke skywalker x afab!reader 18+ below the cut emoji ask game

📸 naughty pictures

✧ lukey gets FLUSTEREDDDD when he opens the dirty holo-photo you sent him.

✧ you start off small with your innocent man just a cute photo you take in a lacy bra displaying those pretty tits he loved so much. just the sight of your cleavage makes him blush and run somewhere more private on the falcon to get a good look at it

✧ he showers you with compliments avoiding anything too sexual because he'd rather die than ever make you feel like an object. just a simple "you look so pretty" or "i miss you so much" is all you get.

✧ after that you send a picture of just your tits hanging freely from your chest "miss my tits too luke?" you type with a coy grin. now he's bright red, never expected you to send him something like that in a million years.

✧ he can't even reply before you send him a full-body photo. leaning back of your bed with your legs spread for him only covered by thin red lace dampened by your wetness. "my pussy misses you the most &lt;;3"

✧ he can't believe it quickly locking the door to the 'fresher he tries to think of a half-decent reply. "don't worry baby, i miss that pussy more"

✧ "yeah? maker i need you luke. show me that pretty cock, please?" like the good boy he is he does as he's asked. hesitantly pulling his hard cock from his pants to send you a photo of it glistening in his pre-cum. the photo drives you nuts, wishing so bad you could have him in your mouth.

✧ "such a good boy for me luke, i want you to touch yourself. can you do that for me sweetheart?" you reply. he loses his shit from there on out doing just as you asked.

✧ touching himself to your photos has officially become one of ukes favourite ways to cum. you let him do it ask long as he sends a photo of the mess he made afterwards 😵‍💫

✧ and once he gets comfortable he'll start to return your photos with even sluttier ones from different angles. luke's a pretty boy so he gets the hang of it pretty quick. maybe even wearing a slutty set of lingerie for you <3

[sevenpoyo]

been thinking about Kazutora and the thought of him getting obsessed with an idol, i feel like it’s a concept with so much potential

let’s say he knew them before they got scouted, things like this is exactly what he’s been working to avoid.

you’re supposed to be his solace, his heaven on earth, and here you are talking to that damned recruiter that you met on the street, who offered to buy you that stupid dessert you wanted so bad.

The dessert he couldn’t pull out his wallet fast enough to buy. as you rummaged through your school bag for the money.

damn that stalker looking ass, tall ass recruiter lady, and her fancy ass clothes, and her damned pretty ass voice that you seemed hypnotized by.

And now he’s standing off to the side in the small cafe you frequent, his eyes glossed, loosing his fucking mind. you were going to abandon him. those people out there didn’t need you like he does. don’t you know that??

it’s a mess when you make it though your audition, even if your train locally, he’s doing everything he can to break your contract or get you fired, he feels bad about it, but he would die!

he genuinely thinks you leaving him might kill him

Even if you don’t really know the rest of toman trust and believe that they know you know, and that this has strongly divided them

If they knew about you but are normal, then they are rooting for you. They want you to be happy, and for Kazutora to shut up about you. (and maybe they would enjoy seeing you as a brand ambassador, or in a junior idol picture book or photo cards. i’m sure that they’ve brought it up to him in attempts to persuade Kazutora to leave you alone)

and the other half of toman is whole heartedly devoted to ruining your chances of being an idol, trashing on you, making you late to events, making your school and work life hard, attacking your managers, leaking childhood pictures or you with the gang. straight up lying about you, just running your chances of being an idol to keep you with them

and if you somehow do debut, good luck a avoiding rumors of bullying, or dating (preferably with him)

please, don’t let me get started on if the object of his affection is already an idol when he discoverers them…

[ts1989fanatic]

A video stopped me mid-scroll this morning: 'Taylor Swift is pregnant – that is a baby bump!' it declared, along with footage of the singer performing on her Eras tour in a black and red sequin bodysuit. It's not the only similar post doing the rounds on TikTok and Instagram of late, and, erm, sorry... but haven't we all seen these rumours circulate (and die) about TayTay countless times before? Why are there still people who struggle to grasp that it is deeply uncool to comment on a woman's body in this way?

We've heard directly from Swift in her documentary, Miss Americana, just how much she has struggled with disordered eating and body image as a result of unnecessary comments from the public. She also expanded on those comments, during a chat with Variety while promoting the film, specifically addressing pregnancy rumours (which have dogged her since the age of 18; she's now 34 – so almost half of her life then).

"I remember how, when I was 18, that was the first time I was on the cover of a magazine, and the headline was like 'Pregnant at 18?'" the star recalled. "And it was because I had worn something that made my lower stomach look not flat. So I just registered that as a punishment.

"And then I'd walk into a photo shoot and be in the dressing room and somebody who worked at a magazine would say, 'Oh, wow, this is so amazing that you can fit into the sample sizes. Usually we have to make alterations to the dresses, but we can take them right off the runway and put them on you!' And I looked at that as a pat on the head."

Swift then went on to say how this praise/prying relationship the world has had with her body all culminated in unhealthy eating patterns, even leading her to "starve" herself before some shows and over-exercise.

Miss Americana first dropped back in 2020, meaning we've had an entire four years to wrap our heads around the fact it's not even just uncool to run wild with pregnancy rumours, but actively harmful for Swift. As it would be for any other female celebrity (from the royals to actors, I can't think of a single one who has managed to go without having someone zoom in on her abdomen and ask the question 'baby?').

The likes of Kourtney Kardashian Barker and Chrissy Teigen have also spoken out to say how upsetting it is having people suggest you're pregnant, with both having previously said tough it was given they were actually either struggling to conceive at the time or were trying to embrace their postpartum bodies.

So let this be a reminder (and dear God, please can it be the final one?): if you see a video suggesting Taylor Swift, or anyone else who hasn't announced a damn thing, is pregnant – keep scrolling. Don't engage with it. Don't comment on a celebrity's post with bump emojis or nosey questions either. There are literally only two times that it's acceptable to assume a woman is pregnant – when she's told you that she is, or when she's actively in labour.

Now, can we all get back to enjoying the Eras tour for all the right reasons?

ts1989fanatic: louder for the idiots in the back. Anyone think Taylor Swift is dumb enough to get pregnant while in the middle of a world tour, and before the peanut gallery chimes in with accidents happen, please remember this is Taylor Swift here you know THE MASTERMIND

[baalzebubuu]

So. Why exactly do you think the head of HR would chastise and insult one of her bosses for doing something that, while risky, was the only thing that could be done at the time to keep Kronos locked away AND reawaken the Underworld? And WHY would they then treat said boss like a fool for being freaked out over her powers seemingly inverting when, 1.) her powers were working as they usually do up until spring, and 2.) there were few known precedents over what Erebos would do to those that make deals with them (i.e. as far as we can see, Hades didn't get his pre-king powers "inverted")? I understand that you have your gripes with LO (some I can even agree with), but damn, at least be fair with your critiques, and also maybe don't mock these characters for having certain bodily features that are often the focus of negative attention IRL...

(P.S. No Greek god/goddess would accept a nymph insulting them to their face like that - they've done far worse for lesser, and even indirect insults, and a nymph being the "Head of HR" in the Underworld OR Olympus realistically wouldn't save them from that wrath, ESPECIALLY if it's coming from the queens themselves; yes, I also saw your Hera post - Hera may be leery of Demeter at times, but she's far from being genuinely terrified of her (ep. 188 clearly shows this), and please remember that Persephone was in danger due to MINTHE'S jealousy over a damn tabloid photo, not Hera's (you know, the GODDESS OF MARRIAGE, who's allowed to play matchmaker if she sees chemistry between people since THAT'S ONE OF HER JOBS, and who also likely wanted to give Persephone experiences outside of the latter's sheltered life) decision to have Persephone intern in the Underworld.)

All good points! These comics are meant to be mostly skits just what the fans always wanted to say to the characters themselves so I don’t really take them seriously in terms of plot or any of that nature

Also I’m not really much for posting here on tumblr

But DW I’ll answer the best I can with some background lore I have currently in store

Originally Gunnarr was a Humble devoted loyal Mage Serving under Freya the most powerful revered goddess in the Norse Pantheon and they were sent Away under Mysterious Circumstances

And they’re placed in high regard by many connections with Justice goddesses due to their good behavior and devotion to them Which somewhat explains why they’ve gotten away with the BadMouthing certain scenes and if any god ever really does anything to HR Freya definitely won’t be too happy about it and would cause a whole dispute between pantheon

As for Getting away with badmouthing with Hades and Keeping him on his Toes HR and Hades have a very long history working for him for up to thousand or so years

HR and Hades Essentially had a relationship just like Bojack Horseman and Princess Carolyn

And HR essentially is completely done with his Foolishness and 99% of The Olympus Family

To the point of calling them out at with whatever legal problems the gods will cause as even if they DIE being called out HR gonna die knowing he was right and essentially their point proved

they don’t really care if they Die by Their hands

( till they eventually became nicer Because of their poly relationship)

As for the part about Persephone reaching That Tower because of Minthe

I was Planning on making a comic about it soon where HR talks to Minthe and gives her consequences but I never really had that much planning how to execute it right

As for how i usually draw Persephone I was mostly following along to how other creators were doing things, not much thought put into it

However that I will apologize for since i do admit they are in bad taste

Let me know if I’m missing a part that I forgot to explain

Edit: Also i am very sorry this post was poorly written I suck at explanations

And it’s the morning by the time I made this post and I’m heading to work atm

I very much apologize for this lackluster explanation

[emyluwinter]

Some ideas about Vargas' camp.

Yuu is a girl here. It's more convenient for me to write this way. Sorry my English is not strong

Yuu when she and Grimm were called to a meeting with Vargas, Crewel and Director Crowley.

-Soooo you want to say that you will hold a camp where you will scare students to gray hairs by kidnapping them?

Crewel - Not so cruel, puppy.

Director Crowley - This will help them start working as a team!

Yuu - they would rather burn the whole forest to smoke out the enemy from hiding than agree to cooperate…And what do I need to do in this whole performance?

Vargas - you only need to take photos with your camera and check how this or that group is doing. And let me know if necessary.

Yuu is looking at Crewel with a pleading look not to leave her alone.

-With all due respect, I agree to go scare these smug ass……….But I categorically refuse to go only with Teacher Vargas. At least let Grim keep his magic stone.

Crewel realizing that it will be completely unprotected. - Because he is not a participant, he will not need magic for anything. But you need to make sure that no one uses Grimm's magic.

Yuu - A couple of cans of tuna and he will be the most harmful guy for negotiations~

***

If Yuu had predicted some situations in advance… The events after the discovery of Deuce in an abandoned mine and a collision with one of the phantoms.

Ruggie - And how are we supposed to fight against this thing without magic stones?!

Yuu curses softly and pulling the collar of his T-shirt pulls something out of his bra and throws it into Leone's hands.

-I'm not f@cking going to die here….Leona, catch it!!

Leona deftly grabs the object that Yuu throws very sharply. And the third-year student freezes in shock. She stole their magic pens that were taken from them at the beginning of the camp?!?

-How.. you…

While Leona leaves all questions for later and puts up a defense so that the phantom does not hit the freshmen. Yuu kapashitsya in her bra pulling out a few more magic pens.

-Maybe I don't have magic, but I'm not stupid enough to go to the same place where there was a fight with a monster on the first day of this damn world! Especially since there are at least 5 more of them staggering around somewhere! An abandoned and forgotten mine, what the hell were they even thinking of sending us here?!?

Floyd looked at his pen with interest, then at the Prefect.

-Uh?!Five more of these?

Yuu snorting and giving pens to the extremely confused Ace and Deuce - There were 7 chairs and 7 beds in the house that was not far from here, it is logical to assume that we have already met two. So maybe it's all those former residents from that house.

Ruggie is simultaneously holding her pen in embarrassment and at the same time can't keep her eyes off the phantom.

-The information is definitely not encouraging.

-But now the odds are even thanks to one herbivore.

-Just aim at the head and be careful with the walls of the mine! -Yuu snorts, seeing how the Phantom is even more angry from the students' attacks.

After the fight.

Floyd is looking at the pen and trying to understand something.

-Hey, hey. Shrimpyyy. How did you get our magic pens? They were all taken away before the camp.

Yuu collecting pens back so that the boys would not be punished for cheating and they did not get from the teachers and the director.

-I borrowed some from Vargas for a while, it's just crazy to leave you without magic pens. And I don't want to deal with another overblott…..Floyd, give me the pen back, please, I'll hide it. Otherwise Vargas will scold you for a long time.

-Okaaaaaay. It turns out the Shrimpy is a little thief ~ so funny.

-Please don't tell me I'm stealing stuff…

Leona interrupts their conversation -You just have more brains for safety than Vargas.

After all the pens have been returned to Yuu, she turns away and shoves it back into her "hiding place" in her bra. And then she carefully adjusts her T-shirt so that nothing is visible.

Ace and Deuce keep a deathly silence because they are too tired and exhausted to even think about this awkward situation for them.

Sebek just doesn't know how to even think about this whole absurd situation that he got into. Lilia and Malleus definitely cannot be heard about where his magic pen has been. But at least he was unharmed…

Jack awkwardly clears his throat, scratching the back of his head and clearly wanting to subtly hint something. -Yuu before returning them back to Vargas….how to say it….

Ruggie immediately interrupts Jack, looking very nervous

-Yuu, please wipe the handles with some means to erase the smell.

Leona snorts and presses her ears to her head -Because they were so close to you, they smelled right through your scent. Using magic and smelling the herbivore is distracting..

Ruggie is embarrassed, though he doesn't want to show it.

-Frankly speaking, it completely knocks off your concentration.

Yuu looks at them confusedly and at first does not understand why these three behave like on pins and needles….

-Mine….the smell?…. - it suddenly dawns on her what they mean.Her scent. Handles has her smell and guys with their sharp smell and it's embarrassing.

-Oh…um..sorry…Yes, I will..

Floyd laughs contentedly

-But this idea was funny, shrimp! Azul will surely be interested to hear this~

-Please no.

Leona - if at least one living soul finds out where our pens have been, I will personally drop you here and will, you understand everything?

Jack and Ruggie tacitly agree to keep this secret.

[nightsidewrestling]

D.U.D.E: Moments - Part 4 - The Meeting (Set in 2020)

Tags: @piratewithvigor @tantamount-treason @thedollmaker16 @janetreader

This takes place during Part 2, after Eddie texts Kirby, extends into Part 3.

Also, Kirby is still Orange. Italics are inner thoughts.

Eddie's P.O.V:

He had talked Moxley into dropping him off at the meeting place, checking out of his hotel room and takin his bags with him. Something in the back of his mind had convinced him to leave, trying to make him run but also desperately wanting him to take Her with him.

"You didn't tell me what flavour you wanted so I went with strawberry."

Her voice alone was enough to make him want to smile, especially when she's calm and not sobbing or screaming. Decent choice, damn you look pretty in this light, "I wanted to see what you'd choose." In all honesty he had forgotten to actually think before sending her a text back, "These fries for me?"

"Yeah, I don't know what you like so I hope it's okay."

If I'm with you, Hell, I'd eat anything you bought me, "More than okay," Now comes the make-or-break question, how do you respond to smokers, "you don't mind if I smoke?" He asks, already lighting up the cigarette.

"I'm more than okay with it, I've been around smokers my whole life."

Eddie raises an eyebrow, she didn't smell like cigarettes, and she hadn't seemed like the type who had even seen a cigarette before last night in the hotel, she was too innocent, too gentle for that to be real. "Really, do ya parents smoke?"

"No, my uncles do. All seven of them, Many of my cousins do too."

Okay, now she's fuckin' wit' me, she's gotta be, that's a fuckin' lie an' I'm fuckin' callin' her on it, "Big family?"

She scrolls through her phone before showing Eddie a photo of her and her family and the many, many people she's related to, "The Rhydderch clan, owners of C.R.C and trainers to many."

Holy shit, she wasn't lyin', that's a lot of people, "Jesus H, you have a big family, are those two ya parents?" Please say yes, 'cause I don't wanna guess who in this photo is if it ain't them.

"The two on the left, yeah, needless to say neither of them were expecting me to be a giant."

"Any brothers or sisters? Nieces, nephew?" Anyone who might kick my ass if I flirt wit' ya?

"Nope, just me, Mam and Da."

"Any boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancé?" Anyone who'll really kick my ass if i flirt wit' ya?

"That's very forward of you, Eddie."

Shit, act casual, cover up the flirting dumbass, "I just ant to know if there's anyone, other than the girls and Damien," who I will kill if ya let me, "in your life."

"Nope, as far as I'm concerned, I'm by myself."

Eddie nods as he leans back, breathing out a cloud of smoke as he looks at her. I think you're so fuckin' pretty, I wanna make you happy and I wanna make you my girl. I don't just wanna fuck ya, I wanna love you, romance ya, fuck it, I'll marry your fine ass, If you'll be mine forever I would die happy.

"I have… had friends, back home, T.J, Mike and Yoshi. Haven't spoken to them since I left Wales, though, two years ago." She mutters.

"You have me," he smiles softly, before realizing how the words sound, "and Mox, if you need us, I'm always a text or phone call away if you need me."

"You'll protect me?" She cocks an eyebrow as she jokes.

"Yeah. Sure on TV we're at war right now, but now I know what your 'Boss' is like, and he's an asshole by the way," Eddie grins, "I'm gonna keep you safe whether you like it or not."

"Don't be an ass, Eddie." She chuckles, her laugh making Eddie fall further for her.

He sticks his tongue out to make her laugh a little longer before deciding to tell her why he's got his bags with him.

"You're stuck with me today, kid, so you better get used to this asshole." He winks, upping his more flirtatious behaviour and expecting her to call him on it, but she doesn't.

"I'm stuck with you." Her smile drops, replaced with what he assumes is concern, "As in Mox dropped you off so you'll be with me all day?"

"Exactly, so put up and shut up." I know you ain't concerned for me, so why that look, "Where's your car anyway? We can talk and drive, get you to relax around me, too."

Eddie smokes as they walk to her car, glancing at her and smiling when his eyes connect with hers. He finishes his cigarette and disposes of it properly, knowing that she's watching him. A wave of nostalgia hits Eddie when Kirby turns the car on and her music starts playing. House of Pain, Irish-American Rap from New York, from 1990s New York.

"Oh man," He sighs happily, "you listen to House of Pain?"

"Yeah, why? Do you want me to turn it off?"

"Nah, how do I turn it up?" And which button is the volume, not that one, nope, no… she's staring at me, I should've waited for an answer.

[santanasaintmendes]

new york, concrete jungle where dreams are made of

part3! to the cosmic girl records 

¡Cosmic Girl Records!

summary: graduation day! and having the grid in the city for the US GP makes the day 1000x better 

olliebearman x reader & platonic!grid x reader 

fc!: gorgeous girls and couples on pinterest all credits go to rightful owners of the photos used below 

a/n: thank you for everyone who’s shown love to part 1 and 2 of the cosmic girl records!

disclaimer!: there are sensitive jokes that are used in this smau that may be offensive to some people they are all purely used to make the story more humorous. if you have any problems with the jokes that are used please feel free to message me and i will do my best to make sure everyone is happy, thank you!

tg!: swearing, sensitive jokes, carlos and y/n bully lando, if there are any other ones let me know!

wordcount: 1.5k ?

enjoy and i hope it makes you smile/laugh!

liked by olliebearman, bestie1, georgerussell64, lilymhe, alexandrasaintmleux and 4,583,483 others

unfortunatelyy/n: hey upper east siders, 2 days down, 3 to go and im thinkin’. . . more coffee ☕️

view 2,483,322 comments 

 bestie1: I BELIEVE IN US 💪

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: i wish i had the brain capacity to 😮‍💨

 user1: wait so now that she’s graduating does that mean no more aesthetic studying vlogs and pics 😨

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 user2: hopefully instead we’ll have photos from inside one of the f1 motorhomes instead 🙏

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 user3: hoping, manifesting and praying 🙏 

user12: the last pic hits hard 😭

 olliebearman: can’t wait to see you this weekend 🥰

 liked by unfortunatelyy/n 

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 georgerussell64: get a room geez 🙄 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: @carmenmmundt get your child off instagram 

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georgerussell64: HEY

 user4: just when I thought y/n couldn’t get any  more relatable she goes and drops this on us 

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 user12: real. 

user5: the fits go hard 💪

liked by unfortunatelyy/n 

 alexandrasaintmleux: more coffee and like 45+ hours of sleep, am i right?

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 unfortunatelyy/n: FINALLY SOMEONE GETS IT 

 user5: what’s she studying?

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 user6: she’s been studying mechanical engineering for the last couple of years, she did karting as a kid and met lando when she lived in England that’s why she’s good friends with them all but she decided to stop karting and pursue mechanical engineering in school 

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 user7: we love hot smart girls 😍

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

 user8: any idea why lando hasn’t been very active on insta lately?

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 user9: maybe he’s busy 

 user10: Y/N A FAN OF GOSSIP GIRL CONFIRMED???

 liked by unfortunatelyy/n

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 user11: not her liking the comment, she’s so real for that 

liked by olliebearman, lilymhe, alex_albon, charles_leclerc, kimi.antonelli, arthur_leclerc and 5,583,483 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: i think. . . i’d step on a lego for you

tagged olliebearman 

 olliebearman: wow, i’m honoured 🥹

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 unfortunatelyy/n: damn straight you are those things hurt like hell 

user1: LEGO FLOWER DATES ARE U JOKING I WOULD DIE 

user2: y/n’s really out here living the life we only dream of 😣

 kimi.antonelli: good job Bearman, i told you it would work 

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 olliebearman: ???? 

 user3: it’s not only me who’s looking at ollie’s arms in the last pic right?

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 unfortunatelyy/n: nope 🤭 

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 user4: HELP MOSQUITO Y/N CONFIRMED???

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 olliebearman: 🤨 

 arthur_leclerc: lego dates, i wish i would’ve thought of that first, if i do it now carla will say i’m copying you 😔

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 olliebearman: sorry man 😔

 user5: guys, any ideas why the 2019 rookies are being less active in y/n’s insta comments 

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 user6: it's not their job you know 

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 user5: yeah i know but it’s still weird right??

lilymhe: STOP STEALING HER FROM ME 😡 @olliebearman

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 alex_albon: I’m right here???

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 unfortunatelyy/n: your point being?

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 alex_albon: oh i hate you 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: grab a ticket and get in line 

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 user8: DAMN POP OFF GIRL 

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 user9: she cooked him 

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 user10: ate and left no crumbs we stan a queen fr

liked by olliebearman, carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, georgerussell64, alex_albon, lilymhe and 11,482,973 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: ya snooze ya lose. it’s called defeat, Norris. 

tagged landonorris

view 72,492 comments 

user1: SHE PLAYS CHESS TOO ARE U JOKING 😍

user13: welcome back miss relatable 

user14: im sorry but lando doesn’t stand A CHANCE against y/n 

liked by unfortunatelyy/n 

user15: LANDO’S BACKKKK 

 user2: YES GIRL BEAT HIS ASS 🗣️

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 user3: poor lando 😭

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 user4: there are two types of people:

 user5: i did it. i manifested lando and HE’S BACK IN Y/N’s INSTA 

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 user6: sum goofy ass future telling shit fr 

 landonorris: i let you win on purpose

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 unfortunatelyy/n: OH so you WEREN’T crying and begging for mercy when i was going to win against you for the 5th time? 

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 landonorris:  . . . yes.

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 unfortunatelyy/n: hmmm 🤔

user11: don’t believe him he’s a liar y/n 🗣️🗣️

 carlossainz55: @unfortunatelyy/n how many times did you win against him

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 unfortunatelyy/n: 8 times 😄

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 user7: in conclusion: lando sucks at chess 

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 carlossainz55: very good. i taught you well

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 user12: CARLOS TAUGHT Y/N CHESS?

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 user15: they’re best friends your honour 

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 carlossainz55: @landonorris i see you have not improved 

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 user8: i just KNOW y/n and carlos love to roast lando together every weekend 

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 landonorris: YOU GUYS SUCK 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: and you good sir, suck at chess 

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 user9: sorry lando but HAHAHAHA

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 landonorris:@unfortunatelyy/n  i’m blocking you. 

user10: i bet y/n especially asks lando to play chess just to win against him

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

liked by olliebearman, landonorris, bestie1, lilymhe, georgerussel64, alex_albon, charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, lewishamilton and 8,822,329 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: it all paid off in the end, how did I do it? That’s a secret I’ll never tell, XOXO gossip girl 

tagged bestie1

olliebearman: so proud of you ❤️

liked by unfortunatelyy/n 

user1: the gossip girl references my heart can’t take it, i’m so proud of her 🥹

 user11: SHES GORGEOUS 😍 Ollie better know how to fight 

| 

 olliebearman: 😅

bestie2: CONGRATULATIONS GORGEOUS 😘

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

bestie1: no more 3am late nights studying?? 😦

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

 landonorris: guess i’ll be seeing you next year alongside the ENEMIES 

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 user2: LANDO WHAT

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 user3: GIVE US ANSWERS DON’T LEAVE US HANGING GODDAMMIT 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: can’t keep a secret to save your life can you? 🙄

 mercedesamgf1: can’t wait to have you on the team next year y/n!

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 user4: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG 

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 user5: SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP ALL AT ONCE 

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 user13: ARE U FOR REAL

 charles_leclerc: congratulations traitor!

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 unfortunatelyy/n: thank you ferrari’s sacrificial lamb

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 charles_leclerc: I-

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 user6: bro’s speechless 

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 charles_leclerc: why would you choose mercedes? we could’ve been world champions y/n 😔

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 user14: HELP 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: with your driving? i think not. 

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 user7: oop 

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 user8: dang that must’ve hurt 

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 charles_leclerc: I take it back. SUFFER WITH MERCEDES 

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 user9: i just know his PR team is going insane right now 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: whatever you say baguette boy 

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 user11: oh she went there 

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 charles_leclerc: oh you’re a little shi-

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 unfortunatelyy/n: FINISH THAT SENTENCE I DARE YOU 

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 charles_leclerc: I HOPE BOTH SIDES OF YOUR PILLOW ARE WARM TONIGHT AND THAT YOU RUN OUT OF MILK JUST WHEN YOU WANT TO EAT CEREAL 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: OH I HATE YOU 

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 mercedesamgf1: . . . note to self: don’t EVER get into a fight with Y/N 😅

user10: new thing to look forward to next season: charles and y/n beefing with one another 

 georgerussell64: you chose well, welcome to the dark side 😌

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 unfortunatelyy/n: thanks. . .?

 lewishamilton: congratulations y/n!

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 unfortunatelyy/n: thank you lewis! finally a normal comment 

landonorris: honestly and all jokes aside, i’m so proud of how far you’ve come from being that annoying little shit who followed me around all the time to a smart and somewhat kind girl, can’t wait to celebrate tonight 🥳

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 unfortunatelyy/n: screenshotted, i’m going to hang this over your head for the rest of your life norris 

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 landonorris: dang it. 

liked by lilymhe, olliebearman, carmenmmundt, alexandrasaintmleux, arthur_leclerc and 23,383,938 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: thanks for the memories xx 

tagged olliebearman, georgerussell64, landonorris, carlossainz55, charles_leclerc and 18 others 

 maxverstappen1: DELETE THAT RIGHT NOW 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: no. 🫶

 carlossainz55: i look good, no? 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: whatever floats your boat man 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: someone tell him he looks like he’s on crack 

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 carlossainz55: 😨

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 unfortunatelyy/n: 🫢 

user1: i just know yuki and pierre were pouring their whole heart and soul into the song 

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

 georgerussell64: let me just say, alonso and i tore up that dancefloor 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: alonso yes, you no. 

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 georgerussell64: damn ok 😔

| 

 unfortunatelyy/n: no backchat? are you feeling okay? 

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 georgerussell64: I WAS TRYING TO BE NICE TO YOU FOR ONCE 

user2: i think i’m going to cry, they all love her sm 

user3: is this why they were so absent on her recent posts, were they planning all of this 🥹

user4: DON’T TALK TO ME. i’m in my feels rn

user8: THEY ALL WENT TO HER GRADUATION ARE U JOKING

 landonorris: “thank you lando for planning this, i will be your servant for the rest of your life” 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: YOU NEARLY RAN OVER MY BOYFRIEND I THINK NOT 

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 user5: HELP WHAT

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 user8: CONTEXT PEOPLE WE NEED CONTEXT  

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 landonorris: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: “iT wAs aN acCiDeNt” BE QUIET YOU DIDN’T EVEN REALISE UNTIL AFTER I HAD TO JUMP IN AND SAVE HIM 

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 landonorris: OKAY FINE U MANIAC

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 unfortunatelyy/n: WHAT DID U JUST CALL ME 

| 

 landonorris: . . .and for legal reasons that’s a joke 

|

 landonorris: @olliebearman help me man, i’ll let you past this weekend 🙏

|

 olliebearman: you want me to help you after you tried to kill me? 

| 

 landonorris: well if you say it like that it sounds bad

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 olliebearman: YOU NEARLY BACKED INTO ME WITH YOUR MCLAREN 

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 landonorris: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

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 olliebearman: “iT wAs aN acCiDeNt” 

user6: ollie and y/n truly belong together, look at them bullying lando. i feel like a proud mother

 charles_leclerc: i’m sorry for my past actions y/n please never embarrass me on your instagram 🙏

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 unfortunatelyy/m: apology NOT accepted 

| 

 charles_leclerc: PLEASE 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: no. 

user7: charles leclerc’s worst enemy: ferrari ❌ y/n ✅

a/n: thank you for reading! Have an awesome day lovely 🫶🏻

[marilostfieldblog]

[Video transcript begin.]

[The transcript begins with someone in front of a door, the phone in their front shirt pocket. They take a deep breath and open the door, inside the room looks like your standard living room, desks off to the side as a man with blonde hair, gray eyes, and a stained white dress shirt. He's sitting on an old looking wooden chair with cushions. Something around each of his limbs glints in the light. His head is turned to the door, he’s facing away.]

?: Woah… Last time I was here I didn't really get to look in here… This is cool!

[Voice identified: Mari.]

?: Yeah, yeah. You can look all you fucking want after you get me out of this fucking chair.

[Voice identified: Cassius.]

[Cassius yanks his arm up, something clanks, he stares at Mari, adding to his point.]

M: Didn’t your mother teach you any manners? What's the magic word?

[Mari laughs.]

C: I’m going to fucking strangle you.

M: I survived robots stabbing me with fuckin' spikes dude. Besides, don't you have spider legs in your back?

C: I tried, but they got fucking disabled somehow. Nicholas is one crafty son of a bitch. I hope he learned his fucking lesson.

M: I do have… one thing to say before I get you out.

[Mari walks closer to Cassius leaning up to his ear, The camera is blocked by his dress shirt.]

M: [Whispering.] 7 days you son of a bitch, 7 days before I run for the hills.

C: Good, I won’t have to fucking talk to you ever again. Good riddance.

M: Oh I know you hate talking to me… But I could just leave you here. I mean if everyone's asleep, I could probably trash this place and leave, no?

[Mari continues laughing.]

C: You see one guy handcuffed to a chair and suddenly you become a goddamn Disney villain. Jesus Christ.

M: Not that I just think it's really funny.

C: Well, fun’s over, Mari. I swear to god if you don’t uncuff me from this damn chair you will not be making it out of this room alive.

M: How. Dumbass, you’re the one chained to the chair.

C: I’ll figure it out.

M: Say please and I will.

C: You are the worst. I hope you die.

M: Same here. Say please.

[Cassius frowns. Glaring at Mari.]

C: Can you please get me out of this chair.

M: Yeah sure! You got a paperclip?

C: Why the fuck would I have a paperclip.

M: Do you… Keep any paperclips?

C: Yeah! But not with me!

M: Where the fuck are the paperclips then!

C: I don’t know! Go check a filing cabinet or something!

M: Dude… Aren't you the fuckin' department head?

C: That doesn’t mean I know where every fucking paperclip is!

[Mari turns around and begins opening filing cabinets, checking each one before eventually seeing a file.]

M: Hey dude… What's this?

[Mari turns back around and faces Cassius.]

[Cassius cranes his head to see what Mari has, his eyebrows crease inwards.]

C: None of your concern.

M: Dude. I'm taking a lucky guess and saying this stupid phone is recording this, because it always does. So either you tell me or I'll let the phone tell me. Make a choice dude cuz I ain't got all day.

C: I highly doubt that your phone would record this. But sure. Fine. That’s a file on the person Ophelia took to the Bahamas a few days ago. What of it? Why are you so interested in it?

M: Because I recognize the name. That's why.

[Mari flips the file in their direction, the file has a photo of Ness at the top, with her full name beside it. The file is full of photos of their search history, with notes beside it such as ‘Possibly unrelated. Keep monitoring.’ And ‘Keep note of this.’ The most notable searches include ‘Showfall Media missing persons’ and ‘How much is therapy’. The notes on those are fairly straightforward, but further down the searches ‘How to rip out a human heart’ and ‘How to best kill people named Eden’ are lined with notes that are taking jabs at the person. Such as just a simple ‘Oops!’ In red… ink…?]

M: … This is someone you're wanting to kill?

C: No. That’s someone we have a file on, due to concerning activity regarding Showfall. What’s it to you, anyway?

M: She's familiar… And what do you mean 'Concerning activity'?

C: Mari, our whole job as PR is to keep Showfall’s public image positive. If someone starts looking into any of this, and word gets out… I’m out of a job, that’s for sure.

M: So you might kill her? That's your whole thing right? Killing people?

C: It’s not. And frankly I’m offended that you’d think so. I do so much more than just murder.

M: She… Fought a PR member?

[The camera zooms in on mentions of a fight between Ness and Eden, injury reports include 'Eden bit Ness' right ring finger off' and 'Eden was stabbed in the abdomen with a spear and got an almost broken nose.']

C: Mari, this seems like something you can look at once I’m out of this fucking chair, no?

M: No.

C: Mari. Seriously.

M: Ugh, fine.

[The camera zooms out and Mari turns back around to continue looking, eventually finding a paperclip.]

M: Finally!

[Mari stuffs the file in their pocket before grabbing the paperclip and walking back over to Cassius.]

M: Stay still, dipshit.

[Mari bends the paperclip and begins lockpicking each pair of handcuffs, the first takes 3 minutes before Mari speaks again.]

M: Fuckin' hell, sorry that took so long.

[Cassius shakes his arm, a red circle on his wrist where the cuff was.]

C: It’s fine. Just keep unlocking these. I don’t think I’ve properly stood up in over 12 hours.

[Mari begins uncuffing the other hand, taking two minutes before they sigh. And move to the left leg, Taking 4 minutes.]

M: I'm not used to uncuffing legs… Then again I… Can't remember anyway… Huh.

C: One more, dude.

[Mari finally gets to the final cuff, taking almost a minute before it unlocks.]

M: There!

[Cassius stands up, slightly shakily. Using his arms as support on the chair. He takes a few steps back from Mari. A neutral expression on his face.]

C: Thanks.

M: No problem. Just one thing.

[Before Cassius can speak Mari punches him in the face, he falls to the floor with a thud.]

M: That’s! For chloroforming me the other day asshole!

C: You motherfucker! I could’ve killed you, but I decided against it, that was the only other option I had!

M: You could have had me reprogrammed?

C: You’re taking care of a kid.

M: Did… I COULDN’T HAVE TAKEN CARE OF THEM IF YOU KILLED ME?

C: Why the fuck do you think I decided not to, you bitch!

M: Ha! So you do care about the kid! Anyway!

[Mari holds out a hand in front of Cassius.]

C: There’s a difference between me caring about there being a kid, and caring about the kid themselves. Why are you holding your hand out.

M: My mom taught me good sportsmanship… I think… I swear she did at least. So I'm gonna help you up.

[Cassius hesitantly grabs Mari’s hand. And stands up. Glaring at them.]

M: I want to make one thing clear, I still hate you as a person for what you've done… But I can still respect you not killing me for the sake of that kid, It proves there's someone behind what showfall made you.

C: You don’t even know how wrong you are, Mari.

[Mari puts their phone down on a table, in a way both them and Cassius are in view. Mari has on a bloody t-shirt as well; their hair seems to be more muddled red by the day. They put both their hands out to the side before speaking.]

M: If I'm so wrong, then kill me.

C: …

M: I'm right here. If I'm wrong. Kill me, Cassius

C: No.

M: Why not? You said I was wrong right?

C: … You wanted a knife, right?

[Mari begins laughing once again. This time more of a somber chuckle.]

C: Taking that as a yes. Follow me, I’ll get you one.

M: I don't need a big one dude, just a little one.

C: I know, I need you to pick one out. Come on, I want you out of here as soon as fucking possible.

M: Dude… Ugh fine.

[Mari grabs their phone, and puts it back in their shirt pocket. following Cassius.]

[He opens the door to a room, the inside looks dark, it is very difficult to see inside.]

C: After you.

M: Ok.

[Mari slowly walks in.]

[The door closes, and Cassius lights a match.]

C: The downside of having only candles as your main light source is that it takes forever to get them all lit. Anyway, the knives are over there somewhere.

[He waves his arm around in a random general direction.]

M: Ok.

[Mari walks around looking for the knives Cassius mentioned.]

M: I can't fuckin' see anything dude!

C: Take one of the fucking candles then, asshole! Here!

[Cassius takes a candle that has already been lit and holds it out to Mari.]

M: No need to be an ass about it!

[Mari takes one of the candles and begins looking, eventually finding the wall of knives and grabbing one.]

M: Like I said. Just need a small one, I'm not the one using it.

C: Just take one that seems like it’d work.

M: I already did.

[Mari flips the knife in her hand, showing it to Cassius.]

C: Good choice, pocket knives are pretty good. If that’s the one you want, you can leave now.

M: Yeah. If uh… You need me for any non murder activities. You know where to find me.

C: Alright. If you say one thing about any of this to anyone, I will rip your heart out like I did to Marina.

M: Dude. I gave you the chance like… 5 minutes ago. Anyway at most I'll tell this to Sparrow and that's it.

C: Fine. Leave.

[Mari walks out the door, before pulling the phone out and noticing the light.]

M: OH SHIT UM IF ANYONE SEES THIS YOU DIDN'T SEE IT ON MY BLOG! END TRANSCRIPT.

[Transcript end.]

[aurora-313]

The Nothing But the Rain Arc is next in TYBW anime!!!!! In honor of that, here's my question- in a past ask you noted that kaien and masaki got on like a house on fire, but how did they first meet? Did masaki go to visit isshin at the clinic one day and kaien just happen to be visiting at the same time? Or did isshin specifically go out of his way introduce the two of them?

Along that vein, what would you say was kaien's first impressions of the sunny young lady who would one day become his Aunty Masaki? (Which is WEIRD to think about since there's a 360-something year age difference between them. Though I can see masaki hamming up the aunty role on occasion for the lulz.)

Yeah, I can't wait to see it animated.

I have a short that I wrote on my Ao3 where Kisuke sends Kaien in Isshin's direction to help sort out the remaining odds and ends [here]. Not entirely canon to BB but I like to think that until Isshin found his footing, Kaien helped out at the clinic for a couple months. Mostly administrative work and the how-tos of navigating the bureaucracy of human business management until Uncle Isshin figured out 'Idiot's Guide on How to Human'.

Masaki happened to visit during a time when Kaien was working. Kaien assumed she was a patient waiting for an appointment, albeit a super friendly and charming one and they struck up idle conversation while Isshin was handling his current patient. Their talk eventually turned the subject of traveling; Kaien described different countries he'd travelled to (without mentioning he was technically supposed to be in hiding, of course) while Masaki animatedly discussed places she's like to go - asking after particulars if Kaien had already been there.

Then Isshin introduced them properly when he finally managed to cut in.

Of course, Masaki figured out they were family the second she laid eyes on them (and understandably/hilariously mistook Kaien for Isshin's son from Soul Society).

After that introduction, they went out to lunch and got to know each other. Kaien was shocked to learn Masaki knew about Shinigami and the spirit world but presumed Isshin told her to keep her safe thanks to her uncommonly high reiatsu for a human (Isshin didn't dissuade the notion). Masaki in turn was stunned to find out Kaien was another former Shinigami but didn't press for details. However she did tease Isshin for losing his powers while Kaien somehow managed to keep his.

That aside, they got on extraordinarily damn well. Something Isshin was only pleased about.

Though Kaien's gut reaction to hearing Masaki and Isshin were engaged was a blunt 'Wait, what now? Good god, Uncle works fast.'. That being said, he has plenty of hilarious stories about how that bachelor's party went down. (Kisuke and Shinji both have hilariously compromising photos that Isshin would rather die than let see the light of day. ;) )

Yes. Masaki did ham up being Kaien's aunt despite being 3.5 centuries younger than him, but Kaien took it in his usual genial humour and got his fair share of teasing rebuttals in. In general, they were always on very good terms. And whenever Kaien was in town, the three of them would get together for a dinner or lunch. After Ichigo came along Masaki was perfectly happy to let Kaien watch her baby boy while she and Isshin had date nights.

On a more melancholic note; though Kaien was thrilled to see his Uncle with his new bride, watching them together made Kaien a little envious. I think seeing how happy they were together is one of the catalysts for why Kaien began seeing a certain individual in his immediate circle in a different light.

Whether those feeling are reciprocated; only time will tell.