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#lets you know what all youre working with so you dont lose track of anything
orcelito · 1 year
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Ooooohhhh I fucking hate coder bros. Talking to me like I'm stupid just bc i put the reference things towards the top (which is literally standard) + completely overriding everything I'm saying just bc he thinks he knows best and im a "~Girl~" so obviously I don't know a thing about coding our how to instantiate classes
Go fuck yourself
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writingstoraes · 11 months
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you're losing me 🎤
pairing: charles leclerc/fem!singer!reader
type: instagram imagine, social media au
notes: randomly got this idea yesterday so i started working on it before i forgot lolol i missed writing here hehe lmk what u guys think!
about: just when everyone suspects you and charles have called it quits, you release a single entitled "you're losing me".
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yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, zendaya, selenagomez, and 14,892,001 others
yourusername Stop, you're losing me. I can't find a pulse, my heart won't start anymore.
Been debating on whether to release this track or not for 2 weeks now. This is a song close to my heart and recently wrote.
You're Losing Me. Out tomorrow, 12 AM ET.
zendaya Cannot wait to hear it! ❤
popgirls THATS MOTHER!!!
yncore ma'am are those the lyrics... oh this song depressing as fuck
midnights16 not her releasing this the day she goes trending for apparently having broken up with charles too 😭
lecsainzz Pls dont let this be the confirmation I AM THIS CLOSE TO CRYING
hamiltonhero OH THIS IS SICKKK RIGHT WHEN THE BREAK UP RUMORS ARE AT ITS PEAK
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charles_leclerc
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liked by yourusername, maxverstappen, isahernaez, and 2,349,881 others
charles_leclerc You're never gonna lose me ❤️
tagged: yourusername
danielricciardo Blew all the breakup rumors right out of the water 🤣
landonorris I'm gonna tell my engineer to play the song while I'm driving hahaha
yourusername Friday dethroned? I'm shocked
landonorris Anything for my favorite pop star ☺️
charles_leclerc I am literally sitting beside you
landonorris ?? I am literally her #1 fan get out of here please
yourusername Last I heard, we broke up 🤔
charles_leclerc No plans of letting you go, amour 😘
yourusername
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liked by kendalljenner, zendaya, taylorswift, and 10,992,229 others
yourusername Apparently you're single now, mind if I take you out to dinner?
tagged: charles_leclerc
charles_leclerc You can keep me forever and I wouldn't mind :)
yukitsunoda0511 Mom? Dad???
arthurleclerc This is how you won her over? 🤣
carlossainz55 3 years later and he still smiles at your pick up lines, Y/N 😆
yourusername Take a pic for me next time, Chili!
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tagging: @slytherheign i know you love angst but this is what the emoji u chose meant 🤣
notes: this took so much time LMAOOO anyways i really missed writing here hehe lmk what u guys think! (still have so many drafts i have yet to finish) thank u for reading ♡
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81folklore · 6 months
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older - CL16
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pairings: charles leclerc x male!singer!reader (fc: luke hemmings)
summary: singer yn ln releases a love song with his boyfriend, and the public are not prepared for who it is about
authors note: this has been on my mind for SO LONG. i honestly dont like how many fics ive been doing on the same people (charles, lando etc) but whenever i go to start a new one on my list for someone else i think of something that i have to do😭 also in this reader is not a part of 5sos but close friends with the 3, wfttwtaf is readers album and older is exclusivly the readers song
authors note 2: i wanted to quickly clarify i am NOT speculating that charles or luke are gay/queer and this is not my intentions. luke obviously sings older and i find it easier to visualise it this way, while the reader in this is male, this could also be read as gn!reader. this is FICTION please do not tkae this as me speculating anything
authors note 3: i didnt really know what i was doing with this so its kind of all over the place and very rushed :/ but then again when arent my smau all over the place?? also can you tell i hate writing comments by the way i just dont😭
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liked by pierregasly, ashtonirwin and 818,937 others
we started this song together back in 2020 and picked it back up at the end of 2022
'Older' was originally a voice memo of a 50’s-style love song that we wrote together, then forgot about. when thinking of concepts for my debut album i stumbled across the memo and fell in love with it all over again, but i put it aside yet again as to me, it deserved more than the album
the song has changed a lot from the original voice memo, but the meaning has stayed the same throughout. despite all the beauty, the ups and downs of a long-term relationship over many years, there’s inevitably going to be the worst moment of your love because one of you is going to lose each other
capturing those feelings in a song was tricky but ultimately we wrote from the heart and i think it shows in the song itself
this has always been a song between us, so having him play on this song was very importnt to me and im glad he said yes
older is now yours
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liked by landonorris, calumhood and 1,727,338 others
im very pleased to announce a very special one off show at the Royal Albert Hall in London this November 18th. I will be playing a bunch of tracks from my debut album and may be joined to play some others aswell! Tickets on sale this monday at 10 am BST. Lots of love always, yn x
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liked by 5sos, charles_leclerc and 2,719,936 others
thank you for an incredible night at the royal albert hall
looking back at the best night of my life, i need to thank each and every one of you who allowed this dream to come true, i will never be able to thank you guys enough
performing in my dream venue, with my favorite people in the world was something i never thought was possible and yet here i am, writing this still on my high from last night
thank you to my friends; michael, ashton and calum who took the time to come to london and perform their songs with me, thank you for always loving me and agreeing to my crazy ideas
to my team and everyone who worked to make this night as special as it could be, thank you. thank you for making my htoughts a reality and making this night as wonderful as possible
thank you to the staff who worked throughout the show to make sure everyone was safe, well and looked after. you truly do not get as much credit as you deserve and i apreciate the hard work you put in to keep everyone happy
thank you to those who joined me, i wish each and every one of you who wanted to could have been there. thank you for singing along and listening to me pour my heart and soul into my music
thank you for letting me do this x
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user55: not the pcd hitting already☹️
user1: and im supposed to pretend i didnt see yn and 5sos perform os/co??
user89: CHARLES?? YN IS DATING CHARLES??
user91: AND HE CAME ON STAGE?? AND THEY PERFORMED OLDER??
user50: i cant believe i saw this all happen live
user47: THANK YOU TO WHOEVER WAS RUNING THE GRAINY LIVESTREAM I OWE YOU MY LIFE🧎🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️
ashtonirwin: thank you for everything yn. youre a real life angel
user16: NO CHARLES MENTION??
user9: BESTIE HE HAS A WHOLE POST
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, michaelclifford and 3,619,273 others
after having time to process this show, I feel so overcome with gratefulness. my music means so much to me and seeing so many people resonate with it in a live space was so special for me.
charlie, my life would literally fall apart without you and this would have never happened without you giving me the confidence to do so, i hold so much love and admiration for you
thank you for joining me on such a special night and performing our song with me, thank you for sticking with me through it all and thank you for allowing me to share this part of my life with you
i sometimes wonder where i would be if i didnt find you, if i wasnt blessed with your love. i try to think about the times before you, before us, but both feel impossible to do after feeling your love
life with you is so special and i promise to always cherish and love you
merci de m'avoir laissé vieillir avec toi, merci de m'avoir laissé t'adorer, merci de m'avoir choisi (thank you for letting me get old with you, thank you for letting me adore you, thank you for choosing me)
yn x
tagged: charles_leclerc
comments on this post have been limited
charles_leclerc: mon ange, je t'aimerai toujours (my angel, I will always love you)
charles_leclerc: je suis tellement privilégiée d'être celle que tu aimes🤍🤍 (I'm so privileged to be the one you love)
yourusername: vieillir avec toi ne semble pas si effrayant🖤🖤 (growing old with you doesn't seem so scary)
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4pfsukuna · 2 months
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Awkward (N. Kento)
Theres just not enough fics of Nanami with black women outside of just smut..so here i am with smut but theres plot based on sza songs Awkward 
Time passing.
Nanami still has no idea how Gojo convinced him to attend his silly little holiday party. Knowing Gojo it would be loud, eccentric and lots of alcohol involved. Plus the fact that Gojo knew everybody and it looks like he’s invited everyone Nanami was ready to leave.
But Gojo made him promise to have one drink…just one. Plus he made some know it all comments about Nanami being a workaholic who was probably just going to go home look at stuff for work and do even more overtime spending the holidays alone. He always ragged on him about extra work but the alone part cut deep this time because it reminded him of his ex girlfriend the one he almost proposed to on the night of their anniversary, ring in pocket but he ended up getting stuck with over time, losing track of time and leaving her to sit alone at the restaurant for 2 hours. 
What was suppose to be a happy night was anything but and by 12:01am he was single. Bringing his cup to his lips he’s ready to take a sip but stops when he hears a laugh he’ll never forget.
The last thing Nanami kento expected to see at Gojo’s party (that he basically tricked him into going to) was his ex girl from 4 years ago in a black mini silk dress that if you just bent over a tad bit more—
“You alright man?” Gojo ask slapping his blonde hair friends back snapping him back to the reality where his cup of alcohol had been crushed completely in his hand.
He was sure of Two things in this moment. 1. His hand was wet and 2? He wasnt letting you get away again.
“Oh let me introduce you to my friend Miyoshi, shes an interior designer. Designed all my homes boring career so you two might actually have something in common since you like boring stuff” Gojo insults while placing a napkin in his friends hand basically dragging him over to the woman through the crowd.
What? This was not at all how he planned on talking to you, what was he suppose to say? Would you even acknowledge him? Your curly fro had been straightened so it was now mid back with a slight red tint and he vaguely remember you saying a girl dyes her hair red when she’s over a man and there’s no chance for him ever again. Oh god you hated him. Was the room always this hot?
You turn around finally setting your eyes on the two of them and downing whatever was left in your cup. 
“Miyoshi, meet my friend Nanami kento. Kento this is Miyoshi” Gojo introduces and the air becomes thick with tension as you two awkwardly smile at another Nanami unable to keep your gaze on him.
Time passing by.
“Yosh” Nanami breaks the silence at the same time she speaks “nami”. Old habits die hard, the nicknames from another pouring from their lips shocking Gojo.
“You two know each other?” The white hair man ask which only confuses him more when you say no but he says yes.
He goes to ask the question neither of you wanted to answer but luckily is stopped by hearing the pur of his name from Geto who he waste no time following forgetting all about you two. 
“Can i get you another drink? Im sorry about Gojo and bombarding you like that” Nanami ask nodding at your cup watching as you exhale glossed lips forming your usual slight pout.
You nod as he leads you by the small of your back to the bar his hand burning a imprint on your lower back and you're grateful when he moves it to toss the napkin in his other hand away.
“Strawberry Lemon drop and a whiskey on the rocks” he tells the bartender before quickly looking over at you dropping apologies.
“Sorry you probably dont even like that anymore, i shouldnt have assumed! Ill—“ he starts ranting only for you to laugh, placing a hand on his forearm sitting on the stool.
“Still as charming as ever, its still my favorite drink” you smile the nerves leaving your body but filling his to the brim. Why was he so nervous? Of course his stoic poker face never dropped once but that was how he was.
“Its nothing, just wanna make sure you’re taken care of” he speaks so easily before you could respond or even react The drinks are quickly placed in front of you.
You wanted to know what the hype was all about
“So how have you been?” He ask downing half of his drink in one gulp. You follow suit licking the sugar off the rim unaware of how his eyes watch  and his grip tightens slightly on his glass.
“Are we really going to play this game kento? Fine. Ive been traveling exploring growing healing i finally quit the company and started my own business finding rich men like Gojo who have more money than they know what to do with and creating clients out of them” you shrug sipping the drink watching him smile… somewhat proud.
“Congratulations. Sorry if im prying—“ Nanami finishes his drink only for you to cut him off.
“No!” You say a bit louder than expected before clearing your throat. “No i… i just dont understand how you can sit here like everything ended— like nothing happened and were just old friends catching up” you ask confused, of course you wanted to talk to him 3 and ½ years with someone over in one night and now 4 years later here both of you are.
The nerves were back.
Then we fucked a little bit and I was out, Did not say bye
“Kento i broke up with you, fucked you one last time for my own closure and ghosted you in the middle of the night with no way of ever contacting me. Not my best moment” you finally speak on the elephant in the room another round of drink places infront of you two.
“Compliments of master satorou” the bartender nods before attending to other guest leaving no time to protest.
“I wouldve atleast like to remain friends but i understand.  You left with a bang… quite literally” he jokes trying to ease the tension showing off that jokester part of him that only youve seen.
And now for the word vomit , you couldn’t even stop it if you wanted.
“Friends? Our love was different…too strong for that. It was worth it,I would do it again.I know you hurt me,This is more than a friendship” you speak running over your finger your rim collecting sugar along the sides of your fresh acrylic nails. 
When you don’t hear anything from him (honestly what are you expecting? You just admitted you loved him so much youd go through the heartbreak a second time just to experience that love again) you look up watching as he loosens his tie.
Fuck. “Sorry”
“I made it awkward” which he chuckles at taking your jaw in his large hand forcing your eyes to look up at him. Your heart racing in your chest at the familiar contact
“I miss you”he finally slips the stoic façade falling all his emotions on display for you to see and suddenly the room feels 10 degrees hotter.
“I— why did you let me do it?” You ask and for a simple sentence it was so loaded. You can tell by the way the tips of his ears burn red.
“This isnt the place for that conversation” he speaks finally letting go of your chin turning back towards his drink and you exhale he was right. The awkward tension was back and you despised it.
“My home is 10 minutes away… we can really talk there if youd like” he suggest looking over his watch and i glance around at the party in full swing before back at him.
“Yeah”
When you two make it to his home you cant help the nostalgic grin. This was completely him, nothing out of place every color scheme matches because its all shades of white creme or beige. Everything looks super clean and super expensive.
“Would you like anything to drink? Or eat?” He ask heading to the kitchen after placing your coats on the rack.
“Wine… although ive probably drunk enough” you giggle taking a seat on the couch and he follows with two wine glasses and the bottle. But Nanami always had the best wine and knew the best pairings.
Downing the first cup you lick your lips until you feel his fingers brushing down hair with the rest. When you look over at him hes already stairing at you… admiring and its pure love. Everything starts to feel surreal and you really remember the last time you were with him— alone.
Can we still love on each other?
“Do you still love me?” You ask curiously before you have time to even realize what youre saying and he doesnt even look phased.
“Did you ever stop?” He questions looking at you over his wine glass setting it back on the coffee table next to the bottle looking away to hide the look in his eyes. Sighing you rest your cup next to his, lip gloss staining the glass.
Can we still touch on eachother.
Reaching up to play with his tie being unkept from him fiddling with it you only loosen it further unbuttoning the top 3 buttons just like you did when you two were still— fuck.  
You freeze but that doesnt discourage him feeling the coolness of your hands through the shirt bringing his full attention to you and youve completely taken over all of his senses. 
Can we still not judge  each other?
You still never answered the question just focused on his tie and froze. He curses at himself.
I make it awkward.
“I…im still inlove with you kento, never stopped” you finally say looking up at him glossy eyes and thats all he needs leaning forward placing his lips on yours the taste of alcohol and cherry lip gloss makes him melt. He kisses you delicately, scared to scare you off and even if you regret it the taste of your lips one last time would get him through a lifetime of over time.
Its when you sigh and pull his bottom lip in between your teeth is when he decides he needs you and he needs your weight on him. Pulling you so youre straddling his lap his hands slowly roaming your body still scared of sudden movements scaring you and wanting to map out every curve of your body missing the way you felt. Getting so lost in your brown skin he almost looses his thought. The one thing he promised hed tell you if he ever seen you again.
I can not love everybody
And hes confessing like a sinner in church or a man on judgement day because you are everything holy and he was ready to admit. 
“I could never be with anybody after you, no woman is you”
But you isn't anybody
“You took my heart with you when you left and only left a tiny piece left. And with that tiny piece all i could do is think about how much im in love with you. Want to be with you forever just us two” he breathes looking you dead in your eye so you know hes serious. Serious about you. Serious about this. Serious about yall.
You look at me different
You couldnt help but to see a different side of him. And not just the jokester side you seen earlier but a more mature Nanami Kento, a more considerate and loving Nanami kento. His lover boy era perhaps?! The heat pools inbetween your legs more than it had been all night as you two keep eye contact.
So I let you see my body
Pulling your dress over your head revealing the black lace matching panties and bra set he adjust in the seat.
“Proove it”
Body, body, body
“Youre going to be the absolute death of me, im sure of it” he admits his lips going to your neck trailing down the valley of your breast hands groping and squeezing them. His tongue licks over your cloth covered nipple pinching the other one causing a slight moan. Grabbing your hands to place on his shirt the signal to keep unbuttoning his hands go to your cheeks cupping as he begins kissing you harder tongue infiltrating your mouth.
And now we don't speak at all Now I regret it all
4 years without this? How could you? You were still absolutely positively madly in love with him. Missing him so much your lips dont disconnect at all even when he stands to walk toward his bedroom your fingers running through his hair at the nape of his neck pulling a soft moan from him. You don’t register the movement until your back is being layed in the softness of his bed.
Still, it was worth it
I would do it again
His lips trail down the valley of your breast again making sure to savor the taste of your brown skin before his tongue swirls over your brown nipple listening to your soft pants. He switches over to the other one, your lace bra being unhooked in the front by his mouth… he always did have a talented mouth.  
His lips continue their assault until they reach your panties kissing your lips through the lace earning a shiver before his teeth are pulling your underwear off and damn what a sight.
You can feel him breathing over your core making you nervous wanting to close your legs unaware of the way hes using his photographic memory to remember how gorgeous you look right now.
“Ken— mmph” his tongue glides against your folds with ease and your sure hes thought about this often because the way his tongue is delicated over every spot that makes you tingle is driving you insane. 
“Missed the way you taste sweetheart” he indulges using his first two fingers to open up your slick folds giving him access to what he really wants. His tongue swirls around once, twice, three times before fully latching onto your clit pulling a loud whine from you. 
Music to his ears he wants to make you do it again, show you hes sorry, beg for another chance fuck he was on his knees face burried into your dripping cunt and nothing outside of the two of you mattered right now. Using those two fingers he presses into your core moaning as you squeeze your legs around his head the need to cum building up when he twist his fingers with a delicious curl.
“K-kento i… im fuck” you begin writhing under his mouth hands gripping at the sheets as he keeps a slow sensual pace making sure you feel the apology. But hes a selfish man, he thinks, because the minute you cum hes lapping up every drop yet still wont give you a second to recover. You deserved it.
His tongue replaces his fingers, fucking you as his thumb swirls around your clit watching every face of exstacy you make, the way the lights from the city shine through the room bouncing off the soft brown of your skin. 
He just wants one more only one and when your hands tangle in his blonde hair holding him in place forcing him to watch you fall apart on his tongue his dick twitches in his boxers precum spilling from the tip.
“NANAMI” you shout the highest pitch hes ever heard your voice before orgasming on his lips his movements never stopping as he pushes you into your third one of the night, he needed your taste engraved in his brain… and tongue. The sounds of your heavy breaths grabs his attention and he grins watching the heat of the room make your hair curl back up with a slight friz. Just the way he loved it.
Though hes shocked when you lurch forward pulling him by his cheeks to place an open mouth his tongue swirling around his mouth tasting yourself and a hint of alcohol.
Hes nervous when you pull back, afraid you may regret it and be ready to walk out until your trembling fingers push his unbuttoned shirt off over the planes of his muscles taking your time feeling them even when his shirt falls to the floor. 
Next is his belt buckle and he feels like hes shaking from anticipation watching you do this. He cant help himself and leans back in for another kiss your lipgloss long gone. Sliding everything off in one push your eyes widen at his length thats dripping precum in a way youve never seen before that makes you lick your lips wanting to get every drop but he leans forward pulling your chin up to him.
“Maybe later love,” and the nickname hurts. He always called you that after being away on a long business trip or extremely long nights at work when he strolled in after midnight.
He grabs his thick length pumping a few times before lining it up with your core and the air is thick again. With anticipation…
Longing…
Need…
Unspoken apologies…
I know you hurt me, but
But this is deeper than friendship now
Nodding giving him the okay he slides in making you  gasp and he captures your lips in a groan the burn of him stretching you out as his dick slides in is welcomed. Its like your walls were made just for him. Though you dont expect the string of apologies he begins letting out and tears prick your eyes as you pull him close one hand on his spine the other tangled in his hair.
Let's keep it awkward
He doesnt move for a second and you understand the hesitation. You knew what this meant. He just needed a little motivation.
I think we're ready for it, yeah, mmh
Squeezing you core he groans sending a sharp thrust into you burrying his face in your shoulder. He slowly pulls back just to the tip sliding back in with the same sharp thrust releasing a grunt before picking up your thigh pressing it against your chest. The gasp leaves your mouth as you struggle to think straight nails digging into his back pulling him closer. It seems your claws in his back does nothing but turn him on more.
His lips begin kissing down your neck sucking and leaving a trail of hickeys because even if he couldnt have you past tonight he would leave his mark and let it be known you were his until they stop on your breast. His tongue laps at your perky nipples sucking until he pulls a delicious moan from you and your hands find his hair again. He loved when you pulled it and kept it long enough for you to get a grip but short enough so it wasnt always in his eyes.
“K-kento” you stutter breathlessly your legs shaking as the first orgasm from his dick rips through you yet he shows no signs of stopping or slowing down. Just keeps fucking you through it.
Well this was a different level of deepness.
“Fuck i love you” he grunts again with slow powerful strokes making sure his pelvis hits yours every time as his hands trace the outline of your body squeezing whereever he can. His lips meet yours once more in a sloppy kiss as he drops more weight on you to keep you in place. The only sounds are a combination of your moans and the wet slapping sounds. A particular thrust of his hips makes you feel like he’s digging you out and your back arches off the bed only for his body to press into you.
“Fuck, tell me how good it feels sweetheart” he practically begs but youre still trying to catch your breath from the first orgasm making him release your nipple and come back to your shoulder peppering it with kisses. “Tell me how much you missed this…us” he adds before snaking a arm down between the both of you and finding your clit.
“N-nan… shit… nami” your words are broken and you cant even keep your eyes focused on one spot and he grins into your neck at his name rolling off your tongue acknowledging where the nickname from earlier came from. His thumb goes at a sensualy slow place but the pressure hes applying has your legs locking up behind his back and he delivers the final blow.
Pulling your chin down to find your eyes and he smiles wholesomely with a wicked glint in his eyes making you give him complete eye contact unable to move. 
“Cum with me” he begs and demands all at once his thrust a bit sporadic and loosing rhythym as the speed on your clit pics up as well the coil building in you before finally snapping and your gushing all over him as ropes of his load shoot into you consequences be damned. He collapses next to you pulling your body ontop of his chest rapidly rising and falling. You two are silent, a comfortable one before he extends his arm rumaging in the drawer next to his bed and you close your eyes fighting the sleep. 
You open your eyes once more when you feel him wrapping a scarf around your hair that had completely curled back up due to the heat and sweat from your bodies. Your only response is to  smile and place a kiss on his chest which he chuckles at and places a kiss on your forehead tracing his fingers up and  down your spine
Let's keep it awkward
Waking up to the sound of the keyboard you yawn rubbing your eyes to see a glass of water and 2 tylenol on the night stand infront of you. The realization dawns on you of where your at but how could you forget you knew that scent of detergent, the cozyness of the sheets and the fact that this was your side of the bed because the vent was next to it meaning youd be getting all the heat first… this was your ex boyfriend Nanami kentos bedroom and you were completely naked except for the pale blue sheet covering your lower half.
It may seem silly but the sound of the keyboard brought tears to your eyes, all the hard work you did on healing. No amount of sza, jhene aiko nor beyonces lemonade album would get you through this one because you knew what it was and allowed it. Nanami was a workaholic— the exact reason for your split. Dates postponed with no exact date, romantic evenings cut short, sleeping alone for several nights as the computer held his attention… What hurt the most was being stood up on your anniversary.  
Slowly rising up you rub your eyes and begin looking for you clothes ready to make your great escape.
“Good morning sweetheart howd you sleep?” He ask the audacity to even call you sweetheart as if everything was back to when you two were still in a relationship makes your heart clench with pain. When you don’t respond the sound of the keyboard stops and you feel the bed shift flinching before he can touch you.
“No i know that look youre going to run, just like last time” he speaks in such a timbre that steals your breath knowing your causing him pain. “If all you wanted was a quick fuck you—“ he begins to say and you scoff finally looking at him eyes set ablaze.
“How fucking dare you?! Thats all i was to you Kento! A quick fuck to burn through your stress and then right back to your silly little papers and projects and work. You were always drowning yourself in work so deep that i had to convince myself you actually didnt hate me! All you do is work and when youre not working youre picking up overtime. You placed your job over me countless times! The only time you thought about me was to reschedule what we had planned…. 14 date nights and a anniversary kento! FOURTEEN!” You finally yell feeling a weight lift off your shoulders at the speach you rehearsed 3 dozen times in the mirror.
His shoulder slump as his lips form a line looking for the right words to say. What could he say he was over the moon waking up next to you in bed and now he felt disgusted with himself. Nothing was worse than the regret on your face.
You begin looking for your clothes again and that sets him into action he shuffles off the bed pulling you into his arms your head against his chest his heartbeat racing.
“Im sorry” released the flood gate of tears youd been holding back as if he knew he holds you tighter and sighs.
“Im sorry for neglecting you, im sorry for not putting you on the pedestal you deserve to be on, im sorry for anytime ive ever made you question my love for you, im sorry for all the dissapointments and most of all im sorry for waiting this long. Im an idiot and every day without you was hell i thought what i would do differently if i had the chance once more and i—“ he stops sitting down on the bed so he could pull your eyes to his covered by his thick framed glasses.
“Karma is beating my ass with cursed energy because for every day we werent together all i could think about was every time i canceled and how i wish i could just have 1 night, id make it all right” he confesses with wide eyes wiping your tears away with his thumbs. 
Your eyes flicker to his laptop and he follows before showing me the screen and there’s about 6 tabs open. His email, flights, hotels, car rentals and clothing stores.
I know I'm ready for it, you feel me?
“I was telling my boss im taking the next month off 14 dates is alot of time sweetheart… 14 too many and i know. We always talking about escaping to malaysia, trying all the foods, shopping breakfast on the beach and dancing under the moonlight until 2am. Everything’s booked and i know youd need time to pack and get your hair done i already messaged your hairstylist who can see you in 4 hours hopefully after we’ve had breakfast and agreed to the trip” he pleads with hopeful eyes revealing his hand to show you, not just tell you how apologetic he was but to show you.
Your heart begins racing, palms sweaty and damn did this man have you weak in the knees! He was doing everything right, saying everything right and he looked so fine the way his boxers hugged his muscular frame and okay maybe a man with a plan turned you on anybody could say words but to put action behind it… And like this? Oh baby he really thought about it, kinda like you factory reset him.
“Heres my card pay for whatever you need and a key… to my place” you never really heard him stumble over his words before until now and his nervousness is showing in a boyish way youd never seen before who wouldve thought stone wall one expression Nanami kento here stumbling over you? “So what do you say?”
Can we still love on each other?
Can we still touch on each other?
Can we still not judge each other?
So… what do you say?
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i-cant-sing · 2 years
Text
Just thinking about a deadly disease spreading throughout the RE8 village and reader being one of the unfortunate to get infected. Its a supert painful disease that kills you very slowly. Chances of survival are next to none.
Poor reader is just having the worst time of have her life because this disease is eating her from inside out but she doesn't even have the time to rest or process it because she's still on her mission to find Rose.
Her only comfort is Handsome, the zombie cyborg growing more distressed by the hour. Your skin is turning pale, you're losing weight faster than you're consuming calories, you're feverish, breaths are shallow and you can't even seem to hold your own weight, having to lean on Handsome for support, all while chanting "Rose. Rose. Need to find her."
Eventually though, you pass out in his arms.
Handsome doesn't know what to do other than provide you some very basic care, but it worries him when you don't wake up. So, he caries you towards Heisenberg's factory, where Heisenberg is having yet another argument with Lady Dimitrescu. But they drop it the moment their eyes land on you.
Soon, word spreads to the other Lords as well that you're sick and they're all gathered together to find a cure for you because no way are they gonna let you die.
But it's agonising to watch you suffer through it. You're feverish, in extreme pain, in and out of consciousness and yet you're still incoherently mumbling your sister's name.
As more time passes, your symptoms worsen. The disease feels like its eating up your organs from inside, your head feels like someone is hammering nails in it, and your bones feel like someone is snapping them very slowly.
You may have a high pain tolerance but now, you wanted to much rather die than spend another second through this curse.
So you begged them. You begged them to kill you.
"Pleass- please, just do it. I don't care- I don't care how, but please do it!"
Alcina tried to soothe you. "Sweetie, no. It's gonna be okay! We're finding you the medicine. You're gonna be all good in no time!" She smiled, wiping the sweat off your forehead with her handkerchief, but you knew the truth.
"Y-you're lying- you're lying. You don't have the cure- don't have any medicine for me-" You started coughing, blood staining the rag you'd hacked up into. "I'm gonna die anyways. Why make me suffer through it?"
Moreau shook his head. "No, no! We are working on the cure!"
You chuckled dryly, wincing as your throat hurt. "Yeah? I bet you're gonna propose she turns me into a vampire."
Alcina peeked from under her hat. You shook your head. "Dont bother. If I became one, dad would never accept me."
Silence fell over the room at the mention of Ethan. It was no surprise that they all loathed him, maybe even more now than before.
Heisenberg left the room, his hands shaking in rage. He didn't want you to become a vampire, he didn't. But if that was the only way to save you, he'd do it.
Yet all you could think about was Ethan, the man who abandoned his one daughter in favour for another. He bets Ethan isn't even worried in the slightest about you right now, or trying to track you down.
Donna is going through all of her father's books to find anything useful in it for you, while Angie is crying with the Dimitrescu sisters.
Moreau is testing medicines upon medicines upon other infected people from the village, sighing as he crosses off the drugs as more people die.
Alcina and Heisenberg are both extremely frustrated because of your wish to die. How can they kill you when they've never even imagined of hurting a hair on your head?
You're still a child for fucks sake! You're too young to die, too young to even think about contemplating death.
And it broke their heart to hear you beg for them to do it.
"Handsome?" You called out to the man standing silently in the corner. His drill whirled in response. "Can you do it?"
He walked closer to you, wanting to know what you're asking.
"Can you kill me?" He didn't reply. "I know you can hear me, Handsome. Please, just- you know what? Give me the gun. I'll- I'll do it myself. Yeah, I'll do it-" you cut yourself with another coughing fit and he rushed to give you sine water.
Handsome didn't sleep a wink that night. How could he, when all he could think about was you waking up and picking up a revolver to off yourself. He couldn't trust you to not hurt yourself, not anymore.
After a few more agonising nights, your health started to return, and a week later, you were normal again, and soon you were back on the road to find Rose again with Handsome.
However, you also had many others following you around in the shadows. It was the Lords, because they couldn't bare to be at rest now (or ever again) after all they had seen you go through.
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Oof imagine how Chris and Leon would react to a sick reader. Like I can see their anxiety going through the roof, Chris is coaxing you to drink the warm soup and drink your medicine while Leon is threatening one doctor after another to find a cure.
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priceyprice · 4 months
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I loved reading the Christmas fic! it was so cute but all I could think about after was reader giving him back the promise ring when he pushes reader away
I love your writing and hope you had a good start to the new year <3
Oh my, thank you so much, my dear! Happy New Year to you too! I hope you have a good start! I apologize for the late reply. I'm so happy people liked the Christmas ver. I dont know if you have read the version of how things would've "ended" for them. Here's the other version.
The part you're talking about would've been like this (derived from the other version):
Prof!Price
Prof!Price as he's in his apartment, beside his liquor shelf, taking a glass of his favorite whiskey already losing track of how many glasses he had poured to himself.
His apartment was dark. The only thing that brought light to the place was the fireplace in his living room.
His mind was fogged with thoughts about her. How the light from her eyes disappeared the moment he spoke, feeling his lips burned as if the three obnoxious words had had some kind of acid in them.
"Let's end things here."
He will never tell her the reason he broke up with her was because the superiors found out about a student in a relationship with one of her professors, causing her to get expelled and getting her student record damaged.
He actually doesn't care if he gets fired or gets his professor's license revoked. He's already a grown man with many things accomplished in his life.
Unlike her.
She's still pursuing her career. How can he be so self-centered and damage all the sacrifice and work she has done so far?
He couldn't find the guts to do that. He isn't selfish enough to throw all her hard work to the cliff just because he wants to be with her.
So now he's here, rotting in only memories of her because he decided to terminate things.
He doesn't want to get used to the silence of his apartment. He doesn't want to get used to the absence of her presence. He doesn't want to get used to her perfume fading away from his sheets. To the phantom of her skin flushed against his, creating a perfect puzzle as if their bodies were made for each other. To the memory of her smile haunting his dreams every night. Fuck he doesn't want anything of this.
But again, he was the one who made the decision.
So he needs to get used to all of this.
His thoughts drifted away when he heard soft sounds on the floor of his living room.
Price knows those footsteps very well, and he memorized them like it was his own heartbeat.
His eyes went up, finding the one who hadn't left his mind, not even for a second. Who has his reason for living in the palm of her hand, between her pretty fingers.
"What are you doing here?"
It's not surprising to find her inside of the apartment since she knows the password of his door lock. And he doesn't have plans to change it either since the password is her birthday.
She just stared at him without saying anything. Even just two weeks have passed since they had talked, but it felt like a year. Everything was going slow for both of them. Everything was going downhill.
Price sighed, dropping his shoulders in a tired expression when she just stood there in silence. "Look, I don't have energy to talk about the reason I broke up-..."
"I'm not here to talk about that, John." He almost closed his eyes when his name rolled out of her tongue like honey. He missed it so much.
She started to walk closer to him until they were in front of each other. He could now see her face clearly. Her eyes were dull, red and puffy, with slightly bags under it. Product of the sleepless nights crying under her covers.
She was broken.
And it was his fault.
He will never forgive himself for that.
"I came to give you this." She opened her hand in front of him, revealing the beautiful morganite ring he gave her on Christmas day. If his heart couldn't be more broken, this time is shattered into pieces.
A symbol of his love, a part of his heart and soul is in that ring.
A ring he once gave her with the promise of a marriage and a beautiful life together.
But now, it was all gone.
He remembered he told her that if things went south, she could give him back the ring, ending things. He said that with the hopes of never getting it back, but here it is, in front of him shining like it holds the last bit of hope of their now nonexistent relationship.
He took it slowly from her hand. Fingers caressing lightly her skin, feeling that burning sensation reminding both of them those feelings are still fresh, difficult to get rid of them.
He looked at the ring for a few seconds, remembering the joy he felt when she accepted the ring.
"You can keep the ring-..."
"You told me to give it back if something happens and... It happened." Her eyes itched, ready to let tears stream down, but she tried to stay strong. She's tired of crying every night for the same thing.
"Just accept it, John. Please."
His eyes went up to her and saw the pleading look she was giving to him. Price can understand she wants to pass the page and move on for her own good, but a part of him doesn't want her to give up on him. To give up on the devotion he has for her. She will always be his one and only love for the rest of his days. His every breath, every heartbeat will be for her and only her.
So because he loves her so much, he will respect her decisions and let her move on.
He gave her a little smile, making her skip a beat. "I understand. Thank you for bringing it to me."
She nodded without reciprocating the smile. Taking a few steps back, she looked at that familiar spot on the floor in front of his fireplace. The same spot he gave her the ring before saying their I love you's to each other in between moans and kisses. Her gaze went back to him, memorizing those beautiful blue eyes she would always have in her mind, heart, and soul.
"Goodbye, Professor Price."
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I apologize for any misspelling or mistakes. Any suggestions or requests are appreciated. 🫶
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thecynthh · 4 months
Text
smart ass - M.S pt 3
synopsis - matt’s not doing to well with his schooling but is determined to get his degree and pass his classes. one essay which is a huge part of their grade haunts him with a bad mark, luckily y/n is willing to help him
notes - descriptive make out scene, no actual smut , chris is a yapper, not proofread, low case intentional !
a/n - hey guys happy new year i kinda hate this one but i had yalls waiting on the next part long enough so enjoy 🫶
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3:21
i feel a calloused hand graze my arm slightly tugging at it, the hand picks up mine and gives it a soft kiss. “come back down here” he says in a groggy voice, i listen to him and slowly slide down.
“ive been waiting to do this all night,” he tells me, moving from his spot he rolls almost completely on top of me, he hovers over so close to my face i feel his breath on my skin. “can i- can i kiss you?” he asks, looking into my eyes.
i nod scared to do anything else, “words smartass, i need words” he says still seeking for approval
“yes please” i say breathaly. his head dips down and out lips connect with a euphoric feeling. he envelopes my bottom lip slightly nibbling on it. a quiet moan escapes my lip, he takes the invitation to slip his tongue into my mouth.
he gives me his full attention and takes full control of the deep kiss. im in a whole new world, ive never felt this with another guy. granted there was only a hand full of guys who i let kiss me like this, but this feeling was new. it was full of lust and dominance it felt, right.
he slightly pulls back, “holy shit, i-i’m sorry” matt says in a worried tone. i was in a daze of foggy sexual thoughts and a little bit of confidence. something takes over me and i push matt down onto his headboard very faintly so as to not hurt him and begin to straddle him.
he takes in the sight of me underneath the warm glow of his lamp on his bedside table. my lacey white bra out for him to see, barely holding back my tits, my sweats hang low mirroring his revealing the strings to the matching white strings of my thong
“i hope you like what you see,” i guide my finger down his jawline and down to his neck, following my finger with small kisses finally landing on a spot underneath his ear. i bite down and suck and soon after soothing it by pressing my tongue against the same spot. i repeat my actions while whimpers spill out of his mouth. pulling back from him i admire my work thats very noticeably red right now.
my lips return to his and i slowly begin to move my hips against his, feeling his ever growing bulge that becomes more and more apparent as i stay persistence in my hip movements.
“i hope you dont have any plans tomorrow cause the only thing on my agenda is making sure you can't walk tomorrow” is all he says to me after he pulls my ear closer to his mouth. he leaves small pecks going from my ear all the way down my neck. i let out another breathy moan when he hits the base of my collarbone, he continues on his track down to the top of my breasts licking, sucking and leaving bruises behind.
“fucking hell matt,” is all i can get out as he moves towards the valley of my boobs. he really takes his time being soft in that area. as he gets closer towards my nipple he comes back up for air.
“can i take these of-“ matt gets cut off by another voice very similar to his, i don’t recognize it at first so my eyes flutter open. i look to the right and all i see matt’s face. he looked so peaceful, so, innocent. his arms are wrapped around my waist and the small of my back, our legs intertwined.
“mattyyyy” the door swings wide open, i jump up sitting. “oh hi y/n!” chris says, waving and smiling. “wait- Y/N??”
“no, no, no, i’m SO sorry i didn’t mean to fall asleep” i hop off matt’s bed losing the feeling of his touch. “again so sorry, this is probably crossing so many boundaries, especially being in your bed, and matt i don’t know how we ended up cuddling, i PROMISE it wasn’t me” i say barely having any breath left over. matt begins to sit up from his bed, his waves a mess and scruff beginning to show.
i grab my bag and whatever i can of my things and dash past chris, hitting his shoulder. my arms are full with my backpack, crew neck, laptop and phone.
i shove my phone into my pocket putting on my crew neck while going through the hallway almost tripping over my own feet, oh fuck this is going to be fun to tell to madi.
matt’s pov
“ughhhhhhhhhh” matt says folding downwards onto the pillow that i grabbed to soften my landing, chris still stands there absolutely stunned.
“wow nick and i spent one night out without you and you bring a girl to the house, no no no let me rephrase that, you brought Y/N to the house, into YOUR bed.” chris says, emphasizing my name like it was a crime to know me.
“kay, it’s just y/n you don’t have to make it sound so bad,” matt replies to chris’ exasperation.
“but that’s the thing! it was y/n the girl that last time i checked, you like!” chis says, i’m halfway through the hallway to the door and i almost trip over my own feet trying to keep going, i drop almost everything in my arms except for my laptop, my things clatter and hit the ground hard.
“oh fuck” chris says know he probably just let me in on is brothers secret.
i get on my knees grabbing as much shit as i can and continue booking it to my car.
a/n - imma ask who wants to be on the tag list soon so if ur interested just watch out for it :)
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waxsuyaaa · 2 months
Text
omg side order was so good
my annoying rant about everything down below⬇️ also if you dont have the dlc dont press the keep reading button
OKAY so for starters it was actually kinda disappointing to see that most of the gameplay has been shown already in the trailer, i would’ve liked to have been surprised..
and there is no feeling of progressing forward like any other storymode since you go to the start every single time you lose and all your achievements disappear unless you get into the boss fight, and only if you win you get one singular key
and all the powerups that you’re used to having just gone. poof. disappear.
i would’ve liked to see npcs that you can actually talk to because somehow there is no button to talk to pearl? like maybe they should have made a feature when you’re right underneath pearl to press A and talk to her for a bit, even if its something simple like “yo! let’s get back on track!”
you can’t even talk to marina and all she asks is if you need something to be hacked, which makes her seem as she’s just there for that mechanic and nothing else— as someone who never played splatoon 2 and doesnt know her personality im not sure what the hype is about for her
we should have been able to go into the elevator and actually walk around and talk to the characters and like salmon run, when it says ‘time to go to work!’ for side order it would say ‘arrived at floor’ or smth like that.. i would give anything to be able to walk around and interact with everyone in the elevator, like if the characters pearl, marina and dedf1sh weren’t there it would function the same
why arent we able to talk to them like. dedf1sh is such a cool character where is the lore? they just stand in a corner and is just there…
it would be so amazing if you could slowly befriend dedf1sh and get exclusive gear/random stuff from the metro or smth from them as the friendship points rack up and they become more open to you
and all the bosses are easy to tell apart from the silhouette and you can easily guess how you’re going to fight them, i want that little moment of mystery as well as not knowing how hard it’s going to be
coloured fingertips dont even seem like a thing anymore, it was just for agent 8 and her blue palette things
it looks as if you have to fight many of the same boss to get the locker key and after it just becomes repetitive and there is no story whatsoever, the villain is a glitchy entity called ‘order’??? like if that same glitchy entity thing switched to agent 4 for like half a frame the entire fandom would go WHOAH WHAT WAS THAT and we’d be talking about it for ten thousand days
the only motive is that you have to save everyone from being grayscaled blablabla but you dont even have any evidence of the character even being there, the character palettes are just a cheap way to implement more weapons, like what do you mean we don’t get the actual characters standing around the outside of the spire.. i want to talk to paul and warabi and ikkan (cough cough i mean quinn and mashup???)
we cant even get these extra characters because 3d modelling is SUCH a LOT of EFFORT for such a huge company like nintendo we should feel so sorry for all the work that they had to do, they put in their best effort (sarcasm)
all the enemies/foes are just remodelled salmon run enemies like battering largo or whatever (they could remodel the enemies but not the bands?? what)
also wheres cypher? i thought the shrimpy character would be a main character that wanders around and sells you stuff but theyre not even in sight
so uhh you can say ‘skill issue’ or smth because OHHH I HAVENT FINISHED THE GAME YEAH THIS PERSON IS JUST COMPLAINING BECAUSE THEYRE BAD AT IT or whatever im just disappointed that it was kinda overhyped and i drew art for a character that didnt even exist (skeleton agent 4)
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makasdisaster · 2 years
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so i did it OAO, here’s the plushie small fic i was thinking about, lets call it-
Teasing  (Katsuki Bakugou x reader)
(i’m not the best at writing so let me know if there’s anything i should fix, i did try tho ><‘, please DONT take my work or repost it as yours) {minors don’t interact you’ll be blocked}
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its the afternoon and you're tired but you force yourself to slip out of your boyfriends arms that are too preoccupied holing up his phone to keep a firm enough grip on you to keep you laying in place beside him, "oi, where you goin'?" Katsuki asks shifting his eyes lazily from the screen just as you start garbing your things from his side table "I'm gonna run to the store real quick, i need to get a few thing before they close" you finish zipping up your bag slinging it over your shoulder opening his bedroom door "now you be a good boy and stay here, I'll be right back k? good doggie, try not to miss me too much~"
you're such a tease but that what he loves about you the most, that you can mess with him just as much he does to you and not have to worry because you both don't take any of it too heart “hah~, not the fuck alone you don't-" almost dropping his phone Katsuki practically jumps off his bed grabbing his wallet stuffing his things in his pockets chasing after you down the stairs
after a short car ride to the closes target with some fun toons of your choosing you both make your way inside and to the back getting the things you came for
"i think that's about everything we needed but before we go can we go look at one more thing?" holding the list you made on the car ride closer to yourself, you slightly lean closer into Katsu's personal bubble then he'd like in public with a big smile waiting for his approval "fine, but make that shit fast go it? i don't want to be here any longer that they end up escorting us out" roiling his eyes softly Katsu' continues to push the cart following your now existed form towards the toys
"gaasp, they have it" rushing into the Ille of stuffies you grab a medium sized scruffy looking cream bear that oddly has a few of the same colors as Katsuki"s hearo costume worked into the robin around its neck, it even looks upset just like his signature frowned expression "Isn't it just the cutest ever?" confused with a grossed gaze, Katsuki pushes it gently out of his face looking at you like you've just waisted his time "what are you five? you don't need that crap" with a pout you put it in the baby seat of the cart "oh hush, its the only one im gettin' an plus its a limited edition, they only made five so i gotta'"
you both start walking to the regsters to pay "ya' know, if you wanted something that looked like me to sleep with, we could've skip this lil' trip an' stayed in bed" you blush softly almost stopping in your tracks "i.i dont know what you're talkin' about" he knows you know he figured it out so that means he's going to keep this over you for as long as he can "whatever you say princess, ill just have to make you get the rest then~"
----
when packing up the car Katsu' makes sure the teasing starts as soon as posable, setting the bear in the drivers seat before you get in the passenger side "wa-" you swear you can here him laughing to himself from outside the car.
- - - -
once you both get back to his place you put down the bear paying it no mind as you have to put away all the food an other essentials before you can make your way back towards his room wanting to chill,
after all the work you've just done you make it up the stairs to Katsu’s room only to open the door an find the bear once again sitting in his place but this time on the bed wearing his boxers an holding his phone just like how he would be once returning home "! REALLY KATSUK!?" and just like that right on cue Katsuki's down stairs losing his shit, oh he's going to make this a habit and you're going to suffer finding this thing allover the place till he gets bored but seeing as he didn't make you leave it back at the store means out of all the plushies you've left at his place he minds this one the least because unlike the others, it’s of your favorite person.
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Note
am sick so if you'd like to speak some suitehearts/killjoys thoughts to me i would love to hear them :P
im sorry ur not feeling well :(( heres a (too goddamn long sorry) summary of all the suitehearts Thoughts i was struck with in latin earlier to hopefully make you feel a bit better <33
so first i was just thinking abt Benz and how hed get roped into the show via threats from bli and then i was like ohhh okay what if they offer him a lab space/equipment to do whatever experiments/research he wants if they agree to being on the show. bc like at this point its abundantly clear that hes not gonna work for them by making new drugs as originally planned but they dont want to risk losing his potential (and they wanna show that theyre still fucking in control) so they make them this "deal" (which theyve really got no other option to take if they dont wanna die) and he gets this lab and figures he can find a way of counteracting blis bullshit sort of in secret bc he knows hes never gonna be able to get this equipment anywhere else
AND THEN i started thinking abt how this would effect his relationship with everyone else on the show (namely Sandman and Donnie bc Crab atp basically just exists off set in a drugged up haze) and i started thinking that maybe thered be some tension there bc the others are either poor or poor AND heavily demoted from past positions of power, and they look at Benz with his higher education and seemingly wealthy lifestyle and they think hes an enthusiastic participant in the system thats fucked them both over. so maybe theyre both kinda dicks to them off set but im thinking Benz doesn't really care bc he doesnt hang around much anyways if they arent filming- hes gotta spend every possible second in the lab yk? and then i started thinking about what might push them all to really talk and become friends which led to THE fucking idea ever
so one day Sandy and Donnie are looking for Benz in his dressing room bc they were supposed to start filming like fifteen fucking minutes ago god Benz this isnt just your show stop being so fucking selfish and come do your job- but they stop as just outside the door as they very clearly hear Benz arguing with someone important and they're saying something about a deal? and Benz sounds pissed saying this wasnt in the agreement and they said he could research whatever he wanted and they cant just do this- if they take this from him hes done. he's walking. they already took everything else from him so if they dont let him have this then hes off the fucking show and they can just try and catch him when he runs. and Whoever theyre talking to is just like "lolz okay well if you're leaving guess were gonna have to recast everyone for 'consistency' so i guess all the others have no reason to be kept around anymore-" and its like. a VERY clear threat on the rest of the Suitehearts' lives and Benz fucking freaks out. he backtracks immediately apologizes for speaking out says they can take his research he doesnt care jesus just dont bring them into this they didnt even do anything
so then Sandy and Donnie are like "ohhh What The Fuck :D" and they kinda feel like assholes for making assumptions bc clearly this isnt the first time Benz has been threatened (and its very much implied that blis gone through with last threats when he wasnt compliant) and theyve both already had their own shit building up and their hatred for bli was already basically at the tipping point already so yeah. they confront Benz and Benz tells him that theyd been trying to develop a sort of blocker for bli's pills. something people in the city can take to negate their effects. he didnt even know if it was possible or if he was on the right track with his research but apparently bes gotten close enough to something for bli to have to step in now. and the other two are obviously like ?????? WHAT THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU LITERALLY INVENTED A WAY TO FREE PEOPLE FROM BLIS CONTROL WHAT THE SHIT WE HAVE TO HELP YOU SAVE THAT SHIT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW
and Benz is all like "well technically idk if ive invented shit yet bc i haven't actually tested the drug on anyone" and the others are like "bet okay you need a test subject? lets yoink Crab". Benz is incredibly fucking against doing that bc Consent and Ethics. he lets it slip that he does have a stash of the drug already made and hidden in his apartment and hes just gonna test the shit on himself but Sandy and Donnie are noooot fucking having it bc "dude. you understand they arent gonna let you go after this right? even if they keep you alive, they are gonna start tightening the reigns and pumping you full of shit and then youre gonna be the one who needs the blockers" and yeah they really do have a point there so Benz agrees to join them on the escape plan theyve been devising (which side note. yeah those two were planning on running away together anyways but thats a different post probably-) and what follows is the most stressful fucking two weeks of all of their lives as they start discreetly gathering the shit theyll need to leave all while having to wrap filming this season and dealing with management watching their every fucking move and making vague ominous comments about "the future of their careers" AND theyre slipping Crab these new fucking pills and having to keep a close eye on them and keep them calm as theyre slowing coming out of their trance and realizing Oh Fuck Im In The City
and then like. it all comes to a head and they very publicly are chased by a bunch of crows in costume bc they end up having to fin in the middle of filming and i havent thought much abt this lart yet so yeah. thats what i spent all of latin thinking abt I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON KAZ <333
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duckymcdoorknob · 7 months
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𝓣𝓲𝓬𝓴𝓵𝓮𝓽𝓸𝓫𝓮𝓻 𝓓𝓪𝔂 2: 𝓐𝓬𝓬𝓲𝓭𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓪𝓵
Ahhhhh my first Double Decker fic !!! I will admit, I still don’t have a great grasp on their characters (16 episodes is too little 😭), so I’m gonna try my best with characterization.
Also please forgive me if this is not accurate, I’ve never touched a drop of anything aside from church wine 💀
—CW: This do have tickles below the cut ngl, alcohol and intoxication!—
Tags for today: @chrimsss
The day went exactly as it usually does: Doug and Kirill work together to save another victim of the current crisis, get caught up in a fight against a crazed Anthem-user, win said fight, then go out to celebrate.
And their usual celebration?
Going out for a few drinks.
Or, in Kirill’s case, getting one drink and losing his mind due to how much of a lightweight he is.
The constable was face-down on the counter, resting his head on his right arm as his left hand spun a barely-touched glass of water.
“You alright, Constable Vrubel?”
Doug always did look out for Kirill, even if he had a weird away of showing it.
“Yeah!” The purple-haired male chirped, head unmoving. “Jus’ godda finish m’wadder s’ I can ged an’udder dr’nk.”
The brunette sighed, “You’re sure that you want another? This would be your second Old-Fashioned… You’ve barely touched your water, and you’re barely upright.”
Kirill narrowed his eyes at his partner. “Tha’s n’t fair! I-I’m good, i c’n handle m- alc’hol.”
Doug couldn’t help the airy chuckle that escaped him. “Constable Vrubel-“
“Stop c’llin’ me th’t ou’side ‘f work.”
“Fine, Kirill,” the detective replied curtly. “Personally, I think you should go home.”
“Nooooooo! ‘M okay!” The constable whined, lifting his head from the bar top, revealing a red mark on his forehead. “I c’n keep g-goin’!”
Doug locked eyes with Derrick, who was placing a second Old-Fashioned on the counter, the man understanding what the detective meant immediately.
“Closing time!” The ex-officer announced, gently drying pint glasses. “Start finishing up, everyone. I’ll see you all tomorrow.”
“Alright, Derrick’s closing up, let’s go, you.” Doug beckoned, rising to his feet and gracing a hand on his partner’s back.
Kirill whined in protest as his second drink was taken from the counter and quickly downed by Deanna, who grimaced in the process.
“You heard him, buzz-cut, get moving.” She barked, tapping the side of his water cup.
The constable wasted zero time and began to chug the water, not realizing how parched he was. After that cup was drank, he got a refill from Derrick.
Soon enough, Kirill was stone-cold sober once more. (WHY DONT WE JUST PRETEND THAT THIS IS ACCURATE) He sat on the stoop of the bar, pouting and glaring at his partner.
“What’s up with you?” The brunette asked with a cocky smile.
“You know what’s up,” Kirill murmured. “You cut me off, bastard…”
“I wouldn’t have gotten you to leave any other way, now would I? You still haven’t even left the bar yet.” Doug replied, gesturing toward the concrete steps.
“And you know what, I don’t think I will leave the bar! Bastard…”
The detective sighed as he stepped closer to his partner. “Kirill-“
“No! Don’t you start with me! I’m staying put, and that’s final!” The purple-haired male upturned his nose and closed his eyes, refusing to look at Doug.
Doug sighed while kneeling down. “Sometimes, it’s like herding cats with you.” He scooped up Kirill and threw him over his shoulder. “If you want to act like a toddler, you will be treated as such. Now come on, I’m taking you home.”
The constable yelped and clung onto the brunette as his partner began walking away. “Doug! Put me down! Can you even hear me? Put me down you- HYEAH!”
The detective paused dead in his tracks, just having previously squeezed at the back of Kirill’s thigh to get him to shut up. “Kirill? Did I hurt you? Are you hiding an injury from m-“
“It’s nothing! Just forget it!” The purple-haired male yelped as he squirmed.
“It’s not nothing. Sit still, I need to look at your leg.” With a stone-cold stoicism, Doug poked and prodded at the thigh in question, eliciting choked giggles from the officer on his shoulder.
“D-Doug i’m- pfff- fine! It’s okay, im alrIGHT-“ Kirill yelped once again as he felt a swipe behind his knee. “Doug st-ahaha-“ he slapped two hands over his mouth, praying his partner had not heard.
Unfortunately…
“Wait, wait, wait… are you- are you ticklish?” Kirill could practically hear the evil in Doug’s voice as his eyes grew wide. “No! I’m not! Don’t touch me! No no- nohohoho!”
“Oh my god, you are!” The detective gushed as he began to pinch at small section’s of the constable’s thigh. “Ohhh, you’re usually so tough! How ironic is this?”
“Dohohohoug! Wahahahait! Puhuhuhut mehehe dohohohown!” Kirill whined as he gently slapped at the broad back beneath his palm. His hands balled into fists as he felt scribbling behind his knee. “AGH! DohohohoOHOHOUG!”
“I wish I had known about this sooner. You would’ve been much easier to deal with… at least I know how to get you to behave now.” The brunette mused, continuing his assault on the back of his partner’s knee.
It was almost too cruel.
Kirill’s face was contorted into a bashful smile as all of his co-workers started at him fondly— and if you were Deanna, menacingly.
“Dohohohoug! Puhuhuhut mehehe dohohohown!”
“That’s a negative. Until you learn to behave yourself, I have to resort to drastic measures.”
In one swift movement, the detective wrapped both hands around his partner’s hips, squeezing with a ticklish vigor. Kirill squealed and began to pound his fists against Doug’s back.
“DOHOHOHOUG! NAHAHAHAT THEHEHERE! HYEHEHEHAHA!”
“Ohhh, did I find a sensitive spot, constable?”
“YEHEHEHEHES! PLEHEHEHEASE DOHOHOHONT!”
“Please don’t what? Goodness, you need to start acting your age.”
“TIHIHIHICKLE MEHEHEHE! TIHIHIHICKLE M- WAHAHAIT WAHAHAIT! NOHOHOHO-“
“Ohhhhhh, tickle you! Of course I can. Thank you for using your words, Kirill. Now then, let’s get you home.”
The purple-haired officer whined in agony as he continued to laugh himself hoarse. His mindless pounding against Doug’s back did nothing for him, and he could only writhe in agony until his partner decided to have mercy.
Their coworkers watched in amusement as Doug cracked a rare smile of pure menace. Unfortunately for Kirill, his apartment was a long way home from the bar…
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🎃————♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎————🎃
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bartxnhood · 2 years
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boyfriend. | p.p
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gif not mine
I tasm!peter x female!reader
summary: in which peter knows he could treat youbetter than your current boyfriend, harry. he'd doanything to let you know how much he loves you.
warnings: i don't think there is any :)
authors note: i am back once again. tbh idk what i was thinking here but i definitely kinda like it. and if you can't tell, this was heavily inspired my dove cameron's boyfriend. i dont have high hopes for this one, but nonetheless, enjoy :) also requests are open if you'd like to send something in :)
Copyright © 2022 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.
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you stood alone, abandoned in the gymnasium. harry was nowhere to be seen, you were frustrated. on the verge of tears. you expected this from him, but on prom night? did he not care about you like that? you looked over the sea of people, dancing, talking, drinking, and eating in an attempt to find your boyfriend but, nothing. your eyes met with peters, he saw the sadness in your eyes and knew.
the sadness has been looking in your eyes for months now, you had become so insecure because of harry. and peter was tired of it. you deserved someone worth your time. to peter, you were the best thing in his life. you had such a beautiful smile, the way you lit up as if he had done something stupid and you couldn’t help but laugh. you were the brightest star in the night sky. you made peter a better person. and to see harry belittle you, seeing you lose the light in your eyes made him angry. this wasn’t supposed to happen to you. not his y/n. not peters best girl. you deserved someone better, even if it wasn’t peter. though, he wanted it to be him.
parker knew he could treat you better than any other guy. he just wanted you to want him back.
pushing past the crowd of people, peter was determined to be by your side. “y/n.” peter emerged, his dark navy suit caught your eye. “peter” you sighed, feeling weight being lifted from your shoulders. “he left me.” you finally blurted, you felt a pang in your chest knowing tears would soon follow. peter wrapped his arms around you, letting your head rest on his chest. “i know” he sighed, rubbing your back gingerly. “pete, your suit” you huffed, looking up at him. afraid of ruining it with your makeup. “shh it’s fine” he shook his head, wiping away your tears with his callused thumb. he held you for a minute, but it felt like forever to you. “cmon, im taking you home.” he suggested, pulling away and reaching for your hand. “you don’t need to be here.” you nodded, following behind him and out the large doors.
exiting the building, peter had taken off his blazer and draped it over your shoulders, reaching for your hand again. “he had no right to do that to you, y/n/n” he huffed. you knew he was upset, and so were you. thinking you could get over your feelings for peter but you only got hurt in return.
oh, foolish heart.
“i can’t believe he would be that stupid to leave you alone. if i see him, i’m gonna-“ you were quick to grab his hand, cutting him off. “pete. don’t. just relax.”
peter wanted nothing but the best for you, even if it meant you didn’t love him back in that way. he’d still do everything he could to be in your life, as long as you were happy, he was happy. but seeing you so broken, and being used. he couldn’t let it continue.
“promise me something, y/n?” your eyes met with his. both of you stopping in your tracks. “end it with him. you don’t need someone like that in your life.”
“i will.”
peter had suggested he take you back to his place, to avoid your parents. not that they did anything, you just couldn’t handle your mother's interrogation. you couldn’t take it.
you sat on the edge of peters bed, still in your dress while peter finished talking with may. your eyes stared out the window, the day fully coming to an end as the sky darkened. “i brought you some extra clothes, in case you wanted to change.” he entered the room, some folded clothes in hand, and laid them next to you. your eyes followed him, “thank you.” he nodded, “it’s no problem” he shot you a sympathetic smile and began to loosen his tie.
“you’re always saving me, pete. thank you” you sniffled, taking the clothes in hand and making your way to the bathroom, holding up your dress with the other hand.
and when you returned, peter had changed as well. you tossed the large green dress on the floor and went back to peters bed. “feel better?” he looked up at you, only getting a shrug from you. “can you help me take my hair down? there’s a lot of pins” he patted the spot in front of him which you scooted over and he proceeded to pick the pins out of your hair. “you know” peter started, “harry has no idea what he’s missing out on.” you simply shrugged, you couldn’t stomach talking about him again.
“i don’t know what i was thinking, i thought i could get my mind off someone else, but i only got hurt worse. i’m so stupid” a dry laugh escapes your lips. peter paused, now knowing why you had started dating harry. but his shoulders dropped knowing you probably liked someone else. “stop. stop blaming yourself.” he hummed.
his scratchy voice sending chills down your spine. you only let your shoulders drop. looking down at your hands. soon enough peter had gotten a majority of the pins out. and with that, you finally let your hair down letting up the stress on the scalp.
peter got a whiff of the scent of your shampoo and he couldn’t help but look away. you still hadn’t changed it all these years. that familiar floral smell he wishes he could smell forever. it was you. if only he could have you. but, it was obvious you liked someone else. you discarded the hairpins, and sat next to peter again. “if it wasn’t for you, i’d be so lost. i’m so glad you came into my life” you smiled sadly, peter placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. “you’ll always have me in your corner. id do anything for you, you know that.” you nodded. you did know, hell, if you didn’t have him you’d still be miserable. he was always there for you. no matter what.
you were now curled up on peters chest, your eyes still glued to the window. not saying anything, you thought peter had fallen asleep by now. but when you looked up at him, he was looking down at you. “i thought you were asleep.” he laughed, a simple shake of his head. you smiled, the dim light of his lamp made his skin look so beautiful, the why his hair laid in his eyes and how he looked at you. you could stare at him for ages.
“peter, will you kiss me?”
the brown-haired boy stared at you, brown eyes wide. his lips parted, “did you just ask if i’d-“ “kiss me” you interrupted him. this time begging him. “please” you whispered. peter sat up, his eyes not leaving yours once as he brought his hand to your cheek and then pressed his lips on yours ever so lightly. afraid he would hurt you in any way. his lips felt so soft against yours. pure bliss engulfed your body. this was whist what you imagined your kiss with peter to be like. when he pulled away, eyes meeting with yours his cheeks were a bit flushed. having such a huge crush on you, he never thought he gets to have you.
your hands on his neck, you leaned in again connecting your lips. this time this kiss was longer and more intimate. your hands tangled in his brown curls while he was resting on your lower back, occasionally pulling you in. when you pulled away, catching your breath you couldn’t help but stare at him. this is what you both had wanted for so long.
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mejomonster · 1 year
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I’m relieved to find out when i finish case 3 in silent reading the translation still has a part 4 AND extras ToT
like god i admire priest SO much. i think in many ways the writing choices in silent reading are SO ballsy. especially now that i know what publishers push toward regarding standard/norms look like all other novels don't deviate dont be brave or unique. like i know priest self published online THEN gets a print deal but like. to decide you as a public commented on author with a HUGE following where ppl buy your chapters? is gonna write THIS? 
its brave i think. its brave to trust an audience to read 77 chapters of truly fucked up crime story thats main point IS TO critique the world and justice and human nature. before you get into the romance danmei readers most wanted. to make readers both feel bad for and terrified of a little girl. to remind readers every poor immigrant with a bad life who dies is a TRAGEDY and a horrible loss that society has too much allowed. to remind readers that the justice system fails to bring many people closure or help. 
(babes below the cut turned into a MEGA meta on zhoudu and their completely different views on the world)
and THEN of course the LEADS priest decides to write arcs for in this. its ballsy to write a lead the other lead thinks might be capable of being a killer. to write a man objectively with as many red flags as. fei du as THE lead. like? think of 2ha and the people who hate mo ran too much to try it even just hearing of mo ran lol. fei du objectively in some ways is HARDER to empathize with and view as 'an ordinary relatable man'. mo ran when you take that hes been abused is mainly just a kid who wanted to help people typical xianxia hero style and gain power for revenge on REALLY cruel people in a really cruel Fucked up world he lives in thats painted as so much worse than our real earth world. 
fei du? well he outwardly is pretty so i guess like the strangers he meets people tolerate that. but the little we get of our past lets us know he killed animals with his hands (and again its as BRAVE a writing choice as the lead in kdrama Flower of Evil who’s raised by a serial killer and trained to be like him and unable to empathize with others and he fights so HARD to be a good person but he’s no one’s definition of a safe guy to trust - but somehow he met his wife and had a daughter and loves them so dearly and he IS and has always been a good man and good kid who went through awful stuff because people were afraid of his inability to emotionally connect and his abused background). Fei du is like HIM. Fei Du self harms to an intense degree, trying to curb impulses trained in him from a young age and a natural propensity mixed with a raising teaching him and Hammering into him that death is the only absolute to feel comfort in. He could’ve become a murderer, an abuser, in the sense of his father pushing him toward it and so many things could’ve affected it - like luo wenzhou simply being not there. Fei du is fighting before anything else, himself and his own fears about himself and who he is and who he even wants to be ultimately. Mo Ran gets cursed and becomes an evil emperor, and without that was a brute revenge okay-with man (and a black lotus trope so honestly more tolerable as a violent rage fest reading-norm wise). But fei du? is just an ordinary modern man working in an office who thinks it would be nice to choke someone and watch them break down hopeless. Who’s probably felt and thought everything su luozhan did (now i’m losing track... there’s things to be said for mo ran and his abuse making him cruel and lash out like fei du and su luozhan too...but moving on for now). fei du is a realistic ‘monster.’ or an almost one. he’s a man who if taken for all he is, much of society would want removed and taken away, or see as an inevitable evil of a rich man who can’t be stopped by most. he’s like Flower of Evil’s lead and the bad rich kid who lashed out and killed people, combined into one. 
priest makes him understandable, because priest is amazing at writing very good characters and depicting them and showing their nuances and evolution. and also because luo wenzhou loves him unconditionally. luo wenzhou chooses to love the hurting child, and in doing so comes to see fei du for all the multitudes of value he has as a person, for the treasure he is in ALL of himself with the bad and the good as a whole. (sort of like Flower of Evil main characters sister always loved him and saw him as her little brother needlessly hurt by the world, or the wife who eventually realized the man she loved was part of it and is real its just hes more than she knew before - luo wenzhou is both in one). and because luo wenzhou can see him, all of him, and love and appreciate all of it even EVEN when it horrifies him? even when he thinks and knows its beyond the scope of acceptable or normal, even when he’s hearing fei du lose himself in a viewpoint of the world that is so FAR from luo wenzhous ability to understand or view it. luo wenzhou STILL thinks - how do i reach out so we connect and meet halfway, even if i have to wade into that dark and try to understand, even if i have to explain the regular world like its fantastically rare and incomprehensible to him until he gets how other people like me feel. luo wenzhou thinks: no matter who he is, in fact with ALL of who he is, i’m going to go up to fei du and connect to him, we are going to eat and be okay, we are going to carve out a life together and feel whole and safe and connected there. and so for all fei du is, when we are given luo wenzhou’s fathomless endless care for him it’s impossible not to also open our hearts to fei du. to assume no matter how different he is from us or feels things, or how inhuman or whatever, he’s a an amazing individual and worthy of being understood and accepted into our care too. because luo wenzhou’s viewpoint is hard to fight. even if we think luo wenzhou were wrong, if we didn’t get sucked in, we can’t fight the fact luo wenzhou unconditionally feels this and it won’t change, it will drive the story. 
there’s the choice priest made, to make an ‘ordinary’ enough hero of a story (a policeman - legal official solving crimes - who is almost superhero like in his original desire to help people and bring justice, who still ignores wounds and tries to be Larger than Life and do More than the average man, trying to save even with his very real human faults of a nepotism parentage and a short temper in his youth and a naivety he had to lose). he’s old but not jaded, he’s realistic and skilled now but still driven to give out justice, still hurts in his heart when he can’t help someone enough. and it all kicks off with a kid named fei du, and luo wenzhou wanting to heroically bring him justice and closure and save him like Superhero savior of the Cosmos young luo wenzhou did... and failing. failing. failing and having the realization he WILL fail people, legal justice is sometimes impossible or has dead ends and horrible things happen with no resolution and no one saved, and still wanting to care about fei du, wanting to do his best to help him even when it will Never ever be enough. Fei du will NEVER be saved. can not be saved. the damage has already been done (and after the basement scene, luo wenzhou realizes even into adulthood, even once fei du’s dad was in a coma, luo wenzhou still couldn’t even protect fei du from Himself, yet another way luo wenzhou can never be that Cosmic Superhero, not even that local guardian to one single boy, he loves fei du unconditionally and that does NOT mean he’ll ever be enough to protect him or undo the damage). 
but luo wenzhou tries anyway. and its in that trying, that is so worth it. it’s not the outcome, its the act of trying, the ‘ceremony’ and how it means he cares. how it means he views fei du as worthy of it (and he really views by extension so MANY worthy of it who he also can or can’t help to varying degrees, and it rubbed off on fei du, because now hes the kind of man who also finds it awful a poor young man named He zhongyi dies and is willing to go to any lengths to try and get justice for him, for any particular person). Anyway, the point is luo wenzhou is an understandable hero typical of his story type. His heroics are the super-detectives who want to save everyone, his failings are the cops like Lee Dong Sik in Beyond Evil who take their small tasks seriously and are aware they may never save their world or Do Enough and justice can fail but they’re still making Their Choices every day, their baggage and damage and aged lessons coming along. He is an ordinary enough choice for a lead. His most remarkable trait in my mind, that makes him stand out, is his decision once upon a time to care about fei du unconditionally. its a choice a parent makes when they adopt, a bodyguard makes in a fantasy tale when they decide to dedicate their life to their ruler, in a realism grounded story like Silent Reading real life red flags just usually keep such a decision from being made.
Take Flower of Evil - its normal for the wife to be suspicious her husband is a killer and investigate it before ultimately picking his side. Take Beyond Evil - Juwon is younger and has fucked up, but Lee Dong Sik makes fucked decisions he doesn’t expect of the younger, makes the choice to cross lines he feels the younger shouldn’t and maybe no one should but he’s too far gone to quit his path now. Luo Wenzhou sees fei du, the teenager, making death threats and you can’t abandon your own kid. But it’s not his kid, its a stranger like su luozhan who’s killed something, lashing out and feeling unlike other humans and without any real parent who gave them unconditional love (maybe fei du had his mom once a week when she was alive but with health issues and spousal issues and dad’s nonstop threat of a presence on them, fei du was not getting that secure unconditional love environment). its a stranger completely, and luo wenzhou just decides to love him anyway. 
So why’s he a brave writing choice? to use a character like luo wenzhou who does decide to love someone like that unconditionally. before the romance even starts. he’s not fei du’s family, he’s not fei du’s mentor until he Chooses to be, he’s not fei du’s lover when he makes the decision or long time spouse (like in Flower of Evil), he’s not a man who’s got enough shared experiences to understand fei du’s perspective (in fact it terrifies luo wenzhou the gulf there is between each other’s experience and view of the world). but luo wenzhou, the man that he is, chooses to love fei du unconditionally. 
it makes sense for his character of course, because priest is good at writing characters. while luo wenzhou fits the relative norm for his genre, it also makes sense his particular life leads him to a choice i rarely see in these stories. He’s an idealistic naive rash ‘hero’ rookie cop. He sees a child cope with the death of his mom and his world shatter, look at him with an intense resolve that BEGS Luo Wenzhou to BE the hero that can give fei du justice. Luo Wenzhou, the rookie who think himself Hero of the Galaxy, has been dealing with petty crime and this is one of (or possibly the FIRST) time anyone has given him the responsibility and Ability to attempt to serve justice on this scale. This is his first opportunity to SOLVE a possible murder, GIVE someone closure, and truly change their life on such a scale. Of course heroic-dreaming Luo Wenzhou, thinking himself important and inhumanly capable of anything to help someone, takes up that look fei du gives him and decides “then I will give you the justice you need. I will resolve this for you.” A character like him? what other choice would he make.
And fei du is both the first time the world gives him the chance to be the Big Hero Savior he wanted to be, and the reality check that he can NOT be that Hero. That such a heroic feat is impossible, is unreasonable, is not something anyone will be able to live up to forever without fail - especially him, who turns out is lacking much of what he needs to succeed. But even if he had ALL the tools to succeed: even if Luo Wenzhou had ALREADY been a Captain, with rich influential and politically powerful allies, and had been able to legally adopt fei du and take actual political action against fei du’s dad? Even if he HAD all that, luo wenzhou would not have been able to save fei du - from the pain of his childhood, from the loss of his mom, the mystery was too hard to be solved at the time (or luo wenzhou of stubbornness i believe would’ve found a way to solve it), or from fei du’s own self hatred and self harm (just given how privately fei du keeps part of himself - he kept so much from luo wenzhou and probably always would’ve). 
So even with everything, Luo Wenzhou would’ve failed. And at least failing then, as a rookie, he learned he WASN’T superman, he wasn’t infailable and Enough to save people inherently, and took the experience that he’d have to WORK and struggle and fight every single TIME to truly try and save people with him as he was promoted and gained power. That failure made him a better savior for future victims he’d help: because he’d be self aware that failure was possible, and helping others was going to be a struggle and require All his dedication every time, and is never a guarantee. 
Luo Wenzhou picking fei du changed their lives. He failed fei du (and always would have) and in doing so it made him a better person to help people moving forward. and in the moment he chose to try and save fei du, an impossible thing with no Real Guarantee (as Luo Wenzhou would learn later and not ever promise so freely with certainty again), fei du DID see him as a savior. As a hope. As the first guardian angel in his life, the first belief that ANYONE outside of himself could help him. Could fix anything in his life - could explain why his mom who loved him would choose to leave him, could explain if it was his own fault for not loving her ‘enough’ or being too monstrous or if it was someone else’s fault, who could take his father to justice for the awful things he’d done when to fei du his father was the god of his world able to kill and do anything and make fei du do Anything no matter how awful. For the first time, fei du truly had a hope in something able to HELP him. And Luo Wenzhou failed. And fei du experienced both a temporary believe in the kind of “justice is served to the evil, help is provided to the innocent” that children usually simplistically learn at first but he never did (because his father didn’t teach him that but that the predators do what they want). and then experienced a cold harsh horrible shock that it WAS a lie, that the person telling him to believe it - luo wenzhou - was wrong. that fei du’s view of the world was “correct” and the false hero he’d believed in, luo wenzhou, was a fool who believed falsehoods and couldn’t do anything real. that no one Could help fei du. 
and yet. despite all that. despite that failure shaping them both. it also tied them together. for all luo wenzhou failed, he still decided Inexplicably to be responsible for it. Instead of taking the loss, he went on to keep helping fei du. Caring. With Tao Ran as a contrast, its clear how excessive those actions were compared to the norm. Luo Wenzhou dragged Tao Ran into helping him take Fei Du after school, so fei du was rarely left alone in an empty house, into taking him out for food so he’d eat when the help at his house didn’t cook, these are all the acts of a godfather or a makeshift caretaker. They’re more than a responsible police officer should’ve ever gotten involved in a victim’s life - the most luo wenzhou should’ve appropriately done, was maybe call child services and insist and fight that no matter ‘how rich older master fei was’ the child still was in an enviornment that needs either an after school program for some socialization and social support, or a caretaker to move in, or if at all possible to get to live with a different guardian. But Luo wenzhou, knowing what’s appropriate, couldn’t abandon that ‘idealic heroic’ persona he learned failed and was unrealistic, still trying adamantly to be it for fei du. Even failure after failure. He would’ve adopted fei du probably, possibly, if the person he’d been fighting for custody against hadn’t been so filthy rich he’d have never had a chance. (never mind the legal issues im sure would keep him from getting custody, but the intent was there). He took fei du in as much as possible for their circumstances, then expanded that to full on parenting. To checking fei du’s report cards, to making sure he ate right, to checking on his healthcare, to commenting on his dating life as he grew up into a playboy partier, to insisting he pick a career, to worrying how he adjusted when his dad died and he had to take the business, to giving him gifts for birthdays and just cause (both secretly and also full on remembering his birthday when others didn’t), to the simpleness of scolding fei du like a regular teen caught cursing when he’d threaten violent, the simpleness of taking the Extreme-ness of fei du’s worse personality moments and simply saying ‘well whatever fucked up stuff you did or want to do, come sit down and have dinner, come on and join me.’ i care about you. lets eat. i accept you into our little family of two no matter what, and every meal is a ceremony reminding you this is permanent and secure and always here for you. 
luo wenzhou can’t save fei du as a child, can’t save him as an adult from himsel, can’t save him throughout of a great many deal awful things. but he can give him a safe stable eternal home in the both of them, that is always ALWAYS there. always opening it’s doors, always mobile and coming to fei du when he feels isolated and abandoned and like he doesn’t even belong to the same world, it exists everywhere. it’s his. its a thing he never had before luo wenzhou. but it exists now. and it is THAT which luo wenzhou can provide. 
He can’t save fei du from the many horrors of the world, from the monsters within himself. But he can give fei du a home that exists no matter what horrors exist or happen, a home that fei du will always belong IN no matter how monstrous he is, no matter what he’s done or what happens. 
Maybe once upon a time the end of the week with his mom, had been the closest fei du had to that kind of ‘home.’ Some safe place where he was loved even with everything different about him, with the fucked up views his dad pressed on him, with the way he felt different from others and uncomprehending of the world. His mom, fleetingly, would be there with the house made ready for him, would be happy to see him and simply be with him. 
Luo Wenzhou carved out a home for him after that, when he lost that, and made it permanent. It exists nonstop, always, whenever fei du is with luo wenzhou. waiting for fei du when they’re apart, always open for him to return. 
wow i got distracted in zhoudu dynamic stuff lol. back to whatever the point was... priest writing brave. so. while i love all of zhoudu’s very grey area roles filled up and overlapping dynamic. i think the above portion explains well WHY it makes sense for them. Why their dynamic makes sense it would happen, from luo wenzhou’s perspective. why luo wenzhou would choose to do it, and how it would end with him and fei du connecting deeply. 
Because that’s the kind of man luo wenzhou is and that’s where he was in his life, in the perfect place to make 1 single heroic Ideal decision and fail, but still feel too attached to actually quit and cut his losses. He could never cut the loss that was ‘failing fei du.’ he had to keep providing the only consolation he could, a home for fei du, even if he could provide nothing more. To Luo Wenzhou he will always be Fei Du’s very mortal and flawed Guardian Angel who couldn’t move heaven to save him or help him, but still took the job as his life’s work. And to Fei Du he will always be that very mortal Guardian Angel who lied that he was Strong enough when he wasn’t, when angels don’t exist and he was just a man, when justice doesn’t exist only this lying flawed incapable Luo Wenzhou trying to act like there is still justice. But to Fei Du, flaws and all, it’s still his Guardian Angel despite it all. In his world there are no angels, no true heroes. But this person is trying to be one, in Fei Du’s fucked up world where none exist, anyway. Luo Wenzhou is still trying to be one for him. And that’s worth something because it has MEANING, the choice to try to be an angel in a world with NONE means something, its the effort that counts. It’s the ceremony of doing it, the act, that means everything. (As luo wenzhou’s final lines in i think chapter ~79 hammer home).
Their dynamic makes sense, for them. Of course it’s where they’d end up, how they’d develop. How they’d get so enmeshed and close and Bigger Than People to each other (both symbolic Roles to each other while being gravely aware their symbol is actually just a flawed human who will never live up to it). To Fei Du, Luo Wenzhou will always be a Guardian Angel and that IS just a weak human who will fail the job. To Luo Wenzhou, Fei Du will always be his charge to Save, even though saving him is impossible, even though he’s failed for 7 years, even though fei du will never let him and both of them are More Than Aware this mission is impossible. Luo Wenzhou knows fei du is not a charge, was never one - or only one for the first time until Luo Wenzhou first failed. 
Fei Du is a grown man who has done bad things, horrible things to himself, who views the world so differently from Luo Wenzhou his morality might not even be able to compare with his, who is a man he can’t fully understand but tries to reach out any try to anyway. Every single time. What a brave choice. To be commited to unconditionally loving someone and trying to understand them, even painfully knowing you never will. We may truly never be able to understand another person completely. But in these two’s case, they truly have such different internal worlds, it is a painful point for them both that they really never will exist in the other’s world and grasp it fully. 
Fei Du is brave too. He knows Luo Wenzhou is an ordinary man, who belongs to the world most people understand and accept as reality. He knows he’ll never understand Luo Wenzhou, will always see some of Luo Wenzhou’s beliefs as lies or falsehoods most people seem to believe or assume or operate based on that Fei Du will never ever understand or connect to or operate under unless he tries very hard to force himself to act unnaturally. In a way, it is like an Angel loving a Demon. In reality they both realize they’re not an angel and devil - Luo Wenzhou realizes he’s painfully human and incapable, Fei Du doesn’t see himself as a demon he just thinks all humans are truly this way or walking-corpses unaware of it and Luo Wenzhou is another deluded soul lying to himself or simply way too uncomprehending to ever see the ‘truth’ of the world the way Fei Du is Only capable of seeing it. But Fei Du sees his own awareness as monstrous, in that it makes him a monster to those ordinary people and their entire world framework. And yet to Luo Wenzhou, he’s not a monster for it, just another flawed imperfect person like Luo Wenzhou is. They put themselves into the Roles of Angel and Demon, while knowing its partly untrue but unable to stop living that way when it comes to each other. Fei Du can’t help seeing Luo Wenzhou as an angel, in the warped way he’d view one in his world - a deluded hero who’s incapable, but still the closest thing to any angel in Fei Du’s world could exist. Fei Du can’t help seeing himself as a Demon, even though it’s normal to him he can’t shake the awareness its how he’d be in Luo Wenzhou (ordinary people’s) framework of the world. And then they meet in the middle somehow. And somehow even existing in different realities cause they perceive the world SO differently, Fei Du somehow catches a glimpse of himself in Luo Wenzhou’s worldviews: an innocent. An ordinary man. Not a demon, not even different from others. But someone who could and DOES exist in Luo Wenzhou’s world where people who are hurt deserve justice and people attempt to give them it, where cruelty is not the norm and not comprehensible to the masses. Fei Du isn’t compatible with that world - he’s not comprehensible to them. But somehow Luo Wenzhou can look at him, and place fei du into that world. And for the moment they’re together Fei Du EXISTS in both worlds. Is brought into the world outside his, that he can’t be part of or relate to or understand, and see as if he’s like Luo Wenzhou almost. And he wants to be one of the people providing justice to those who are harmed, one of the people who views cruelty outside of the norm and combats it. Could he do this, view things this way, if Luo Wenzhou didn’t connect their worlds by being connected to Fei Du?
And in contrast, in Fei Du’s world the cruelty is the norm, there is no one innocent only those harmed and those self aware enough they also cause it. There is no justice, only an attempt of power and control until the inevitable death. People like Luo Wenzhou cannot exist. In Fei Du’s mind, people like Luo Wenzhou can at most only be struggling helplessly against nature, hurting themselves by prodding other violent people, giving no justice because there’s no way to give it, just struggling to fight for an outcome that is impossible to provide. But because its Luo Wenzhou, Fei Du’s worldview shifts to accomodate him: Luo Wenzhou is a pathetic man fighting for an outcome that can never occur... but he keeps trying anyway. And because he’s Fei Du’s personal angel, even though angels can’t exist here in fei du’s view of the world? Fei Du almost wants to believe maybe there’s worthiness in someone trying anyway. To be like an angel. To do what nothing in his world does, want what can’t be achieved in his view of the world. And that’s where their worlds connect. Where Fei Du’s world connects to Luo Wenzhou’s and lets a sliver of Luo Wenzhou into his as something Possible. And is that why Fei Du wades into the water of doing work like Luo Wenzhou? Is that why he cares when a son dies and leaves a mom behind. In his world to care is illogical and pointless and has no use. But Luo Wenzhou IS in Fei Du’s world, and he cares. So Fei Du feels like... maybe he’ll care too, even if it is useless. He’ll let himself care still, like Luo Wenzhou cares. 
There is use in the ACT of caring. Even if it changes nothing. There is worth in the act of caring, even if it fails to save anyone or stop harm. Is that one of the themes of Silent Reading I wonder... its certainly a theme of these two’s relationship.
It’s the point of Luo Wenzhou trying to explain to Fei Du what their connection is. It’s the connection of their worlds - Luo Wenzhou in our usually normally accepted one, and Fei Du in his hopeless one. It’s also the connecting point of their personalities - through knowing each other they’ve both developed a level of caring. Caring despite finding it cannot save, cannot stop the awful things that have happened and will later. 
And so we get to a point where Fei Du cares about Luo Wenzhou, even though Wenzhou failed him and still does. Even though Luo Wenzhou will never fully understand him or the world he exists in. 
I never realized just how wholly separate their concepts of the worlds they exist in were till I wrote this damn. 
>>I keep losing the point in zhoudu meta lmao. Anyway back to priest. What I am impressed by (among many things), is priest writes that kind of dynamic as mentioned above. The ‘normal ordinary hero’ type Luo Wenzhou who can never connect to the kind of person/world Fei Du exists in, and vice versa. But somehow they meet halfway and see through the keyhole of the other person’s world anyway. Take one step in, while still being unable to enter the other’s world and abandon their own. It’s impossible. But it is. Because they choose to do it, no matter how impossible it is. 
And its this relationship that outside on paper on some novel summary is the tags idk older/younger, rich/gruff, cruel/heroic whatever. When I walked in once upon a time, with the impression from a tagged summary it was going to be a cold genuis with a fascination for analysing cruelty, and a heroic gruff type combatting him and helping him ‘grow a heart’ I did not expect this kind of deep relationship dynamic i actually got. I didn’t expect a relationship that’s part caretaker/child, part opponents striving to fight yet it’s to connect their irreconcilable worlds, part lovers who were already closer than usual lovers before the romance even enters the picture. I didn’t expect 7 years of failing each other, but still being unconditional care there. Fei Du is not just a ‘cold genius’ he’s given the traits of a man from a world where he sees himself as the ordinary monster of it, and he will never ‘grow a heart’ and come to see the world like Luo Wenzhou (I’m 70% through the novel but i don’t think he will). And Luo Wenzhou for all his physical actions is not a gruff man with a ‘warm heart’ a la some sweetie pie emotional warm hero. He was an idealistic idiot who got a reality shock he wasn’t Superman, who grew into a realist. He is a guardian angel who is not actually an angel and KNOWS he isn’t but can’t stop himself from trying to be for Fei Du, the first and only time he tried to be one, refusing to quit this mission even though it’s been lost a million times and it’s painful for both of them for him to keep pretending he’s an angel instead of a man. Luo Wenzhou’s warm emotional ‘hopes and ideals’ don’t touch Fei Du and ‘change him’ (although Fei Du trying to understand Luo Wenzhou’s pov at least does open him up to witnessing Tao Ran’s idealism and kindness even though he finds it naive). 
While their failures with each other certainly change them, they don’t actually change the core of each other - they are permanently too distinctly different people who see the world in an incompatibly different way. Growing up with Luo Wenzhou certainly influenced Fei Du’s behaviors, and gave him a peek into seeing the world differently, but he still ultimately exists mainly in his own world. Even with shared experiences together now, working together, it’s not shifting Luo Wenzhou into a person who sees the world as inherently cruel and monstrous like Fei Du, and its not shifting Fei Du into seeing justice as natural and possible. In some couple stories the worldviews would gradually mesh as the shared experiences grew - but no, not with these two. 
The beauty of their relationship is they Will exist in their separate worlds, their incompatible worldviews and interpretations of it. But they still connect. They still carved out this space of a home together, that exists in both worlds. That has a window to each other’s worlds where they ask the other to explain what that unimaginable window’s view means, how the hell the other person is interpreting it because they don’t see it the same way. This shared home, that lets them concieve of a world where the other person can and DOES exist in their world. Fei Du sees himself as a monster in a world where it’s natural, and where angels don’t exist let alone just heroes - but Luo Wenzhou is in his world. Impossibly. He’s there, he’s part of it, he’s relentless, and he always will be. In Luo Wenzhou’s world, Fei Du exists and is just as inevitably part of it as Luo Wenzhou is. Even though Fei Du can’t conceive of existing in Luo Wenzhou’s kind of world - luo wenzhou sees Fei Du WITH him there, dragging him in by refusing to accept that Fei Du couldn’t be there. 
Fei Du’s heart (in my prediction anyway lol) is not going to grow 3 sizes and decide justice is possible, is expected, and he’s an ordinary person who thinks like the others and feels wronged when he’s not given help and doesn’t instinctively think cold things. But Fei Du’s heart, despite himself and knowing Luo Wenzhou lied about being an angel in Fei Du’s world where none exists and failing him, holds a permanent space for Luo Wenzhou. A permanent part of him lets itself open the window to what Luo Wenzhou sees, and even though Fei Du simply can’t understand it, he lets the wind come in. Lets the idea drift through his own world: that for all justice is impossible, try to fight to do justice anyway. Try to conceive that people deserve it anyway, even if there is no way they do. Just humor the idea. Try anyway. It’s okay to try, even if the result will fail. Luo Wenzhou tries anyway, so you Fei Du can indulge in trying too despite it all. Fei Du’s heart has Luo Wenzhou in it, broken through the window and bringing the breeze, residing warmly in it and bringing all the ‘idealistic-fictional’ warmth from the world ‘other ordinary society thinks’ and decorates. Brings warm cooked noodles, shrimp, sweet candy so sweet its better than Fei Du’s world but here IT IS. Brings hope and determination and belief that doesn’t exist in Fei Du’s world, but here it is, in residence in his heart, with good smells that make him hungry, that taste like nothing that’s supposed to exist. And Fei Du thinks: its a lie, it can’t exist, it can’t be this good, it can’t be permanent... it must be an illusion or something that will crumble later. But its Luo Wenzhou... so Fei Du tries indulging the temporary goodness anyway, even if it WILL crumble. Like how Luo Wenzhou will still fail. Even so, even though this is nicer than any dinner in his world with his mom and dad had been, so much nicer he believes it impossible and a lie and just as hard to rely on as trying to grab the wind. He’ll still sit down and accept it for the experience it is. Because Luo Wenzhou brought it and said it was their home. And even if it makes no sense, somehow in their shared point of connection - this place where their worlds can almost overlap? It’s worth it to try. It’s the act of trying that’s important, not the outcome later. Not what’s possible or impossible. But that here, they can coexist somehow. That they tried very hard to carve out this home right here. They can be brave enough to believe the other sometimes about their other worlds, even if they can never move into the other’s. Try to go on faith on the other person, and try out the other person’s way of living in their very different world, even though it makes no sense. 
It’s a love story about yes, being seen as all of who you are and still loved unconditionally (something often appealing in fiction romance). But also like. Its this heavy reality of No, actually, you will NOT ever be seen completely and understood completely by another person. We are not Fei Du and we are not usually seeing the world and it’s ‘laws’ as so drastically different as him. But like him, when we meet people even as close as we may become, as much as we share, another person will truly never see and feel exactly as we do. Words are imperfect, people’s past experiences and personalities are all different, people can’t read your mind and see your history and feel your emotions. There is no perfect fullproof way to get someone to truly understand you completely. And that’s okay. You can be loved, you can connect, even when that’s true. There is worth in making connections, even if we will ever only be understood imperfectly, only partly be able to view the world or something the same way. Even if someone can’t understand why X is that way about you or why you can’t believe Y the same way they do (even when you try your best to). There is space in all of us to find a way to still love whole heartedly, to choose to Try to understand. There is power in choosing to try, and keep choosing to, even though it’s an impossible endeavor to ever fully accomplish. Like Luo Wenzhou, we choose anyway. Like Fei Du, we realize there’s worth in just the act of trying. Even if we are never fully seen, can never fully grasp the other, there’s care there. The care builds a space for us to connect. A space for us to feel close enough, safe and loved. 
#silent reading#lb#meta#zhoudu#zhoufei#WELL this turned into a mega zhoudu meta and character analysis#character analysis#i will say though. damn.#i think this is true of many (possibly all of priests works but i havent read all) of priests novels#is that they really CAN be delved into analysis wise as works of literature#Silent Reading alone? It has a LOT to say about society and justice and our expectations we're raised on#versus how society really acts. versus the unique ways individuals VARY WILDLY in their perception of it#which i didnt even go into in this meta. but in a Literature Class that'd probably be the main theme.#but then also? fei du and luo wenzhou really ARE doing something so unique with their dynamic that's worth discussing#the fact that like they DO put each other on pillars. while also being self aware those pillars are LIES. and then yet they keep#functioning as if both aware the other are only human AND still putting faith in the pillars they put them on#the fact that in this story the two NEVER reconcile their worldviews into one shared one more or less. which usually happens in these#stories of different ppl. think Goodbye My Princess or Love and Redemption or The Untamed - those different ppl#end up experiencing things that help them come to understand each others pov and perspective of the world.#but the thing is lwz and fd will NOT compromise or change their core world view understandings. lwz just CANT see the world#as inherently monstrous and cruel and kindness as so fleeting and impotent. its against his entire belief system and experiences and#against who he IS. and fei du just Cannot see the world like the ordinary masses. let alone like luo wenzhou who#when young saw himself as the pure idealistic super Hero. to fei du a man like luo wenzhou just Cannot exist and succeed or and just IS#wrong. but their choice to connect anyway is a bridge between worlds. they cant even see eye to eye. but they can choose to connect anyway#despite it.#and internally grow hope and awareness and motivation. even if their worlds remain the same
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tokimekiinversion · 5 months
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gonna do this yumejoshi twitter thread! (not all of them but some of them) (actually wait nevermind i just did all of them)
1. briefly introduce your yume ship! is it romantic, platonic, familial, or something else?
mmm we are so in love it is doki doki love romantic kiss kiss mwah
2. how did you and your comfort character(s) meet?
i watched monogatari!
3. what is the dynamic between you and your comfort character(s)?
they tease me and mess with me a lot and say funny things and i laugh bc they are funny. we do... physical affection i give them kisses all the time. they are also a little mean... and try to get me to fall down a dark path. but its not that serious and probably doesnt work anyway since i just dont do things i dont want to. also, to some extent, this video. im the one on the right. and it would be more like, ougi is reading a book and smiling but yeah.
4. how would you and your comfort character(s) describe each other?
me describe ougi: the best. amazing. wonderful. brilliant. wise. super cool. love of my life. beautiful. adorable. impish. rude. fun. funny. beloved. hot 😳. sinister. scary. creepy. (<- good things) and more!
ougi describe me: cute. foolish. teasable. admirable. bubbly. considerate. thoughtful. kind. pleasant. easy. boobs
5. who is better at cooking?
neither of us are ace chefs but ougi is more swift when following recipes. so i would ask them to make food and then they make it bad on purpose to force me to get faster and better at cooking. grrrr...... annoying 💢......... but i wouldnt mind that much because i'd get to COOK FOR THEM YAAAAAAAAY NOURSHING OUGI and it would probably make me a better more confident cook too
6. who is better at organizing?
ougi. this has no footnotes
7. who is more athletic?
also ougi. they ride that bicycle. i do nothing....
8. who tends to lose track of time more?
probably me more, but i bet ougi would get lost in a good book (prolly mystery novel) and sit up to stretch and its 4 hours later
9. who gets tired faster?
probably also me with my lack of good physical practice.... ugwah.... ougi should take care of me when im tired........... wah....................
10. who gets more excited about special occasions (birthdays, holidays, etc)?
easily me. although i would get more excited for events for them than mine. they wouldnt really get excited for either. but they would make sure to celebrate my birthday and stuff of course.
its like this:
Tumblr media
i am the one who makes their birthday and such a special occasion... because i refuse to let it not be!!!!!!!!!!!! because they are the best and deserve nice things and should be celebrated😌
11. who is better at planning surprises/keeping secrets?
this is also ougi. have you seen that poker face?
also id be good at keeping secrets normally but they would just know anyway and make me tell them. also also if we were playing a prank together i would be the one trying not to crack up like 95% of the time. and the other 5% is we're both trying not to
12. what is something about you that your comfort character(s) don’t know?
mm... not much! probably random details and anecdotes. basically, whatever they don't ask about, or anything not important
13. what is something about you that ONLY your comfort character(s) know?
well if i said it would defeat the point! tryna get me to spill my secrets...
14. what are three ways in which you have changed since meeting your comfort character(s)?
im smarter and happier and much cooler
15. what are three ways in which your comfort character(s) have changed since meeting you?
HOPEFULLY, if they are not being an OBSTINATE LITTLE SHIT some of my love for them will have rubbed off and they like themself more now :) they are also happier, because obviously i don't make them anything but happy 😌✨ also they'd get even more insufferable. i can't not spoil them 😭
16. what is your favourite thing about your comfort character(s)?
everything! well, there's parts i like more. and they shouldnt be so hard on themself but. everything!
17. what is your comfort character(s)’s favourite thing about you?
they'd say boobs to mess with me >:( but it's not true 😇 they like my excitability and my kindness
18. what is your favourite moment featuring your comfort character(s) in the media they come from?
GWEH.
the gweh is just.... its just..... its everytihng
19. do you have alternate universes of your yume ship? tell us more about them!
welll...... unless u count me in naoetsu as au then no...................
20. what nicknames do you and your comfort character(s) have for each other?
oho?
i actually was tryna think up nicknames for ougi once but its hard bc their name is short already. i just kinda call em whatever comes to mind. they can be ougi, they can be my beloved, they can be my precious little thing, they can be the oug. the ouger, even. its what it is
ougi doesnt have nicknames for me they just call me by my name tho.
21. if you had to describe your yume ship with one song, which song would it be?
gwah theres a few of these.... hmmmmm.......
invisible touch is too perfect to not include
the bird and the bee - my love
mad head love - kenshi yonezu
and ill even put...
mitski first love late spring
arms tonite mother mother
some of it is describing the relationship more in general and some of its more about my feelings..... well thats okay too
22. where do you want to be with your comfort character(s) in three years?
🥺
i want us to be happily married and in love........ and i want to have raised my devotion levels and number of tributes 😌✨
23. if there was a book written about you and your comfort character(s), what would the title be?
going by the series' usual naming convention......... sakumonogatari (錯物語).
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i'm astonished by how quickly swifties accept the idea of taylor dating matty healy considering the shit he said about her in 2014?
like yes people grow and change but we know taylor remembers shit like that. we know 2014 was the beginning of the bad years for her, and i just
even if he's grown and changed, the shit he said contributed to that.
plus i don't know any self-respecting human who would date a man who said the thought of dating them and being in a relationship with them was 'emasculating'.
also i just find it funny that his wikipedia page says they're in a relationship, but hers says it's unconfirmed.
you know, you have given me a good perspective. i wouldn't say I was quick to believe it the news though, anon, I was very much in the "jaylor never broke up" camp until we got those fan* pics of them holding hands.
i am so unsure of what to believe but at the end of the day, I feel it is my duty as a mainly taylor swift blog to denounce my space from any sort of racism and I would not feel okay if I spoke out against the notion of them being a couple without at the very least making it well known that I do not accept her actions if they are being portrayed accurately by the media.
i have always tried my hardest to make sure my politics are not performative and I think it is important to make sure your online followers know that you do not tolerate isms of any sort. that is why I am erring on the side of caution and treating this news as legitimate because if it's not, I will more than happily delete my critiques of Taylor and Matt together. but if it is, I need to make it clear that I do not support racism.
that being said, the collab with ice spice threw me for a fucking loop. what i know about taylor pre pandemic, she wasn't publically racist even unintentionally. like truly nothing she had done up until that point can be construed as racist... since then... eh. still cannot get over the carolina thing, nor working with lana del racist. that is why I feel like its my duty to my friends on this blog to let them know I will not financially support taylor if she is actually as bad as they are saying she is, does that make sense?
but like... working with ice spice and releasing a video and physical copies... that makes me feel like this entire thing has been a huge pr stunt... but then you're losing me? but it does reference a surprisingly large number of gaylor songs... but then she was at the concert in january and he said those things in february... maybe they got permission from ice spice to do those things???? but why and why would ice spice go along with it ???? .... but then the photo of joe with a second cardigan in his hand and the you're not sorry SS after that.... the planned pap photos... but then again fans were the ones who took the hand holding photos and why would joe be okay with taylor doing that in the media... unless he's not? in which case all signs lead to a break up.... but maybe he is???? idk we dont know, and nothing about you're losing me makes any sense from anything we know about midnights the album....
you're losing me and sweet nothing on the same album? are we sure about that? did we listen to sweet nothing ? its wild to me because it implies that you're losing me is a vault track but that means before midnights... but then they were good after that.... and then they weren't.... and like, idk, why would taylor include the words "i wouldnt marry me either" when she released lavender haze where she says "no deal, that 1950s shit they want from me" like.... the entirety of LH is about rejecting marriage as a norm and now we learn she actually wanted to marry joe all along and he was the bad guy the entire time? idk...
none of it makes any sense to me... this entire first half of the tour has been the definition of fucking chaos... which leads me to believe pr stunt?.... but idk what would be the point.... she'd have to literally come out and be like "sike joe and i are still dating, yall weirdos for real, matt and i are just besties" but like idk they were holding hands... i guess theoretically taylor could be seen holding hands with a guy platonically but... knowing what they had been saying about it beforehand why would joe want that to happen platonically ???? idk i just cant imagine joe specifically being alright with his girlfriend being linked to someone else... but then again, she was linked to karlie for the duration of their six year relationship so maybe... he just wouldnt give a shit?.... which like maybe he just doesnt care about taylor as much she did for him... which fine but like idk...
im still left with ice spice and i have no idea what to think about that. like i just cannot come up with a good conclusion that isnt racism at play honestly. i wish i could see a good alternative theory for why she is doing all of this but I just do not see any. thats why after those pics came out, I finally came around to the death of jaylor and the birth of this hellscape im in currently.
but idk please tell me ur thoughts on what u think is going on anon because idk none of it makes any sense to me.
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canyouhearthelight · 2 years
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The Miys, Ch. 195
Happy Tuesday! Sorry I forgot to queue, so the chapter is just under an hour late...
Realistically, I know a lot of people don’t notice when these are just an hour or two late, but I hatehatehate being late on anything.  I try to queue these, but it makes it hard to thank any new followers or readers week after week, so it goes back and forth.
Speaking of! @centauressalison, @i-dont-give-a-fucky, @nioddstuff, @adasaiden, @pancake17, and @vulgarvulpine, all the hugs you want, plus cookies, popcorn, or any other goodies. I see you!
Thanks to @baelpenrose for his beta-readership, as always!
I was taking my daily run, carefully dodging other people as I made my way through the weird half-dawn phase we were currently in, when my databand chirped that a voice signal was coming through.  Since I could count the number of people it could be on my fingers and have some left over, I flicked my wrist to answer without losing my pace. “Hey.”
“Hey, Soph,” Arthur’s voice bounced along. “Got a question.”
“Go for it.” Two more miles, I thought, only half listening.
“What - you - boss - “
Gritting my teeth, I held the band a few inches from my ear. “Running, Farro. Say again?”
“What the FUCK did you do to my boss” errupted from my band, rattling my eyesight and sending me stumbling against a bulkhead.
I blinked hard and shook my head to clear it. “What the fuck, Arthur… You didn’t have to shout.”
“Oh.” He sounded surprised. “Sorry, I realized you were running, so I was trying to make sure you could hear me from your waist.”
The urge to smack myself was nearly overwhelming, but I managed to limit it to pinching my nose and stretching my legs. “Not running now. What do you mean, what did I do to your boss?”
“He’s been in a shitty mood ever since he got back from the closed Council.”
I straightened before starting a light jog to cool down. “No clue what you’re talking about. I’m the one who kept his ass in the seat. Wait, why did you assume it was me?”
“Because he likes Pranav and Grey, and Xiomara and Huynh scare the crap out of him. Call it deductive reasoning.” A pause. “What do you mean, you kept his ass in the seat?”
Whoops. “Huynh called a vote to remove him, Grey seconded. Pranav would have been the final vote if I hadn’t talked Eino around. He didn’t tell you any of this?”
“Sophia, he’s Finnish. He didn’t tell me that he hated the tea I gave him as a peace offering for three years.”
“Pretty sure you’re exaggerating.”
“Pretty sure I’m not. Eino rarely tells me anything that isn’t strictly need to know, and ironically, the fact that the sudden promotion Hunyh apparently wanted to give me didn’t happen means the minutiae of Council business still isn’t on that list.”
Ugh. “Yeah. Okay. Short version, Eino was still convinced that the new data we found was a false lead and that we could trust the fleet to politely escort us to the planet they wouldn’t give us new data about.”
“And I’m not suddenly on the Council because you were briefly possessed by what, exactly? If there is a new sentient plague, please kill it with fire, I like the current one.”
I rolled my eyes and slowed to a brisk walk. “I didn’t want to inflict this job on you too soon, tempting as it was. So I just made him listen to the facts, and if he wanted to keep his opinion, I would have let them impeach him with a clean conscience.”
There were a few seconds of silence, but he eventually conceded. “That tracks. I’m assuming there will be more details when you aren’t galavanting through the corridors where everyone and your cat can hear you?”
“You know what they say about assuming…”
I could practically see him waving the comment away in my mind. “I’m already an ass, and you’re pretty good at it. Not too worried.”
“Speaking of asses,” I blurted before the idea fully formed. “Any idea where Eino is right now?”
“We split the Consulary work shift, and Beta is his community shift. No clue what that is.”
I knew exactly what it was - that was my job. “Thanks.”
“I didn’t say anything,” was the last response before the signal ended, halfway through me making an about face to backtrack three levels.
Eino’s community shift was in the aquaponics lab, helping with the thermal mineral spring simulations - specifically balancing the environments and advising on tolerances. I signalled for entry, and as soon as the doors opened, I was smacked in the face with a wall of hot air that was a close first cousin to a cow fart.
Methane and sulfur balances, I groaned as I coughed up a lung and scrabbled for protective gear.  After three or four breaths of clean oxygen, my eyes started clearing. I was able to make out a pair of bunny shoes, realizing I needed to stand up straight.
“Can I help you, Councilor?” a muffled voice asked from behind a full face shield.
Speech still wasn’t happening, mainly because I refused to remove the oxygen tank from my face. Instead, I sent a message typed with one hand. “I need to borrow Eino for half an hour, maybe less.”
A muffled response and a much clearer nod, and the clean-suit enveloped person hurried off.  Unfortunately, Eino must have been in the middle of something important, because my oxygen tank was giving the one-minute warning by the time two bodies returned, one of which nodded behind me to the exit.
No need to ask twice.
Panting in the less humid air, I took the proffered towel and started mopping yellow sweat from my skin. “What on… wherever… are you all working on in there?”
As he finally removed the cowl of his clean suit, I was somewhat gratified to see that Eino had been sweating as well. “Recalibrating the experimental environments to account for the new data. It has been incredibly unpleasant, but necessary.”
“I will take your word.” The towel, by now, was damp and, frankly, stained with airborne particles that had been stuck to me. “I bet I smell terrible.”
“Thankfully, I do not gamble.” what in the - was that a joke? “I can only be spared for twenty minutes, Councilor Reid.”
Cool. Straight to the punch. “What is your issue with Derek Okafor?” When he stared at me in surprise, I clarified. “In the session, you were adamant that he wasn’t a reliable source, that he isn’t an expert in nonverbal language - you did everything in your power to invalidate the information he uncovered.  It could have endangered the entire Ark, what’s left of the human race to our knowledge.”  I took a deep breath before confessing the part I didn’t want to admit. “It was irrational, and completely out of character for you.”
It almost physically hurt me to say, after the way he disparaged Derek, but it was also the truth. I couldn’t accuse him of ignoring reality while doing it myself.
“I have no issues with Mr. Okafor - “
“Don’t lie.”
“Your glares do not work on me, Councilor. I would like to think you had realized that in our decade of working together.” Pulling out another towel, he started briskly rubbing his hair. “I have no issues with his quality of work.”
“Then what is it? You have ten minutes left, and I need to know if I’m going to keep fighting for your job.”
“I doubt it will be necessary, although I appreciate your dedication.” Resting his head against the bulkhead, Eino took a deep breath. “He is so rude,” he sighed.
All I could do was gape. The bluntest, most prickly, most closed off human type being I had ever met thought Derek was rude!?
He didn’t even open his eyes. “Pot, kettle, yes, I understand the irony.” Suddenly, he was staring me down, forehead creased. “He has no respect for privacy, his language is foul, he rambles for long periods of time, and simply broadcasts his emotions and opinions all over the Ark and - “
He was abruptly interrupted by a high-pitched, hysterical howl.  Alarm hit his face like an electric shock and he abruptly stood from the bulkhead he had leaned against with a panicked air.
“Miss Reid, are you okay?”
I nodded, but tears were rolling down my face and I had fallen on my ass, ribs and abdominals aching with laughter. As soon as I halfway caught my breath, another howl of it pealed from me. “You,” I gasped. “Don’t like.” Hunhhhh. “Derek - “ I sputtered for a moment as one laugh tried to come through my mouth and nose at the same time, unfortunately while I was trying to inhale.  After coughing for a minute, I managed to get the whole sentence out. “You don’t like Derek, because he’s a dick?”
It was the most bizarre, surreal, human thing Eino could have possibly admitted. If my ribs hadn’t protested, I would have started laughing again when the next thought occurred to me. “Wait. You’re jealous that he’s a dick and people accommodate that, so he takes advantage of it, but when you’re rude, we don’t scramble to baby you?”
To his credit, Eino looked both horrified and nauseous at the mere suggestion. “Never,” he exclaimed. “I can learn to tolerate your friendliness and oversharing, and Miss Harper’s informative sharing of information which I did not ask for but nonetheless benefit from knowing. Mr. Okafor is simply rude, to the limit of the word. I am only grateful that our work intersects directly so infrequently.”
“So you aren’t jealous,” I admitted, realizing our time was up and his calibrations really were important. “But you don’t like Derek because he’s a dick?”
“If only because we have not fully cloned a whale, possibly the biggest dick on the Ark, yes.”  With that, he snugged his hood and reentered the lab.
To my absolute dismay, I was so busy gasping with renewed laughter that I caught the escaping puff of methane-  and sulfur-tainted air directly in the mouth.
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