#letting myself have a palette with so much pink is very true to myself

[inkabelledesigns]

So I've been trying to puzzle this out for a while, and I think I'm close to finally having a design I like for a Sonic styled persona. I wanna get something a little more finished done, but I really like this sketch, so I'm sharing it! She's a long-tailed bat, partially because I'm known for voicing Rouge in fan projects, but it's also because I genuinely like bats. Like, bats are cool! Also I want wings, if I'm gonna represent myself in a cool alternate universe, I wanna be able to fly darn it! And have fangs, fangs are cool as heck. I'm just jazzed I finally have something that feels comfortable, it's a really good feeling!

[reidecorating]

Venus & the Sun

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

A/N: I felt compelled to write this because the thought of Spence hating mornings keeps me up - which then causes me to also hate mornings because I’m tired, it truly is a tragic cycle. also! here’s my masterlist!

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: Dragging a grumpy & sleepy Spencer out to a picnic on the water where the view was far more than he bargained for

Warnings: Early mornings A tiny bit suggestive, but predominantly just fluff galore <3

Whether Venus is named the Morning or Evening Star depends on what side of the sun it indwells. When the planet glistens and gleams from the eastern sky, it’s a telltale sign it’ll rise before the sun - namely becoming the Morning Star. If Spencer had it his way, he would not be awake before midday on a Saturday morning. If Spencer had it his way, he would continue to snore for some while longer, dreaming - visions of a maladaptive cottage in the Swiss Alps, a handful of mountain goats sprinkled about tufts of unmown alpine grass - certainly not giving a second thought towards planetary placements of a cosmos he never wished to be part of. But Spencer did not have it his way this morning. 

She always called Spencer her sun, but he believed that if this were to be true, she was his Venus; arising from the left side of his bed, sparkling and lighting up the world, most mornings, before he had even opened his eyes. The way in which she looked at him made him believe that the ancient Romans had been right about a deity of Venus, a goddess of love and beauty, his proof being the woman by his side. After wheedling him out of the comfort of rumpled sheets, with saccharine kisses and promises of more, at six o’clock, on the dot, she swept him away in a direction he recognised as towards the pier. It was the last place he would go in his free time, but because he was with her, he didn’t mind. As they journeyed on foot towards the sea, missing the growl of the car radiator, it became noticeable how winter lingered in the air, chasing joggers and haunting places where the daylight was yet to reach, as if it had unfinished business even Spring couldn’t prevent it from completing. 

Spencer felt no remorse towards anyone he hurt in the mornings. The time he spent existing, before half a litre of caffeine was sent down to his kidneys for filtration, angered him. She knew it, too. Always giving him space as he grumbled, with furrowed brows, at anything that moves, often resorting to giggling quietly and observing his shenanigans from a distance - usually involving a wrestle with a hot jug. As they walked, his fingers found the spaces between hers, grasping firmly to prevent the crisp air from streaming through to their bones. She chuckled at the tender action contrasting his expression. “What?” He scowled humorously. “Oh, nothing,” she suppressed a smile. The scowl turned confused. “You’re just very adorable, even when you despise me,” she teased. “I don’t despise you, I actually love you very much,” the sentence rolled off his tongue like a statistic, “I despise being awake.” At that, a grin broke across her face. “In fact, I think that being awake at this hour should be criminalised, I’ll pass the bill myself,”

“Good luck getting a representative to sponsor that bill, Doctor President,”

“I work for the government. I have connections,” 

“And they say this democracy isn’t corrupt,” she grimaced, only partly joking. She saw his laughter in a huff of foggy breath at her comment. “Anyway, when was the last time you had a proper breakfast?” She asked. Spencer thought about it for a moment. Yesterday, if espresso and inhaling air particles counts, he thought. “That… is a… trick question, pretty lady.” The corners of his mouth twitched from behind where his coat collar stood upturned, sufficing in the absence of a scarf, knowing that any answer he provided wouldn’t impress her. Without response, she just held his hand impossibly tighter, walking the tiniest bit quicker.

An unwieldily wicker basket dangled from his fingers, knuckles blue from the early air while they continued on their stroll along the promenade. “You can dismantle the patriarchy another day, Y/N. Please let me carry this for you,” Spencer had asked, insisting she carried the picnic blanket instead. Prevailing winds raced to hide within the drapes of his trench-coat, hiking it outwards behind him in the dramatic way it might if he were on a runway. Over the phone line, she would tell him, “Careful, you may be tempted to leave the BAU if you get scouted by Prada,” whenever she knew he was sat in a budget-meeting hotel room in Los Angeles or New York, wrestling with chopsticks and a container of cold noodles and undoubtedly working a case after hours. Never did he believe her, always taking her flattery with a grain of salt. “Absolutely not. For Givenchy though, I definitely might consider it.” She recalled his response. He acutely remembered the way she’d laughed on the other line, yearning to be the reason she did, forever. Admiring her lover, she struggled to comprehend how everyone in the world didn’t see the same things she saw. He had a beautiful soul. That’s what shone through every crack in his skin. 

Brine toothed sea mist had corroded bolts on the wharf over time, the slight stench of rusted metal taking their nostrils time to adjust to. She began laying down the thick flannel sheet over the dewy wood, careful as to not fall over the edge. “Now, I know you prefer sunsets, but trust me, after today you will change your mind,” she chirped, patting down the blanket. Spencer thought he preferred being alone, she changed his mind on that also, and so, he trusted her words unapologetically. “I’m sure of it,” he beamed at her, placing the basket down with a soft thud before cracking his, now, nearly transparent knuckles. “You look like you’re freezing!” She half whispered and half yelled, rushing to take his hands, cupping his much larger ones in hers and puffing out warm breaths of air in order to thaw his joints. After all, the jacket around her shoulders was one that belonged to him, it was the least she could do. Shaking his head at her actions, completely enamoured by the way she fiddled with his fingers to provide some friction, he turned to glance at the hills in the distance, the night falling and stars dissolving into day, like granules of sugar in hot tea. He looked back at her, catching her eyes, already gazing up at him. “I sense you’re about to tell me something I don’t know about sunrises,” she tilted her head. “Close,” he nodded, grin wider than the horizon before them, “I was going to tell you about Venus.” Pointing at the remaining speck of glitter in the sky, he wrapped an arm around her. “The ancient Greeks and Egyptians actually believed that Venus was two separate celestial bodies. A morning star, which the Greeks called Phosphoros, ‘the bringer of light’, and an evening star, Hesperos, ‘the star of the evening’. It wasn’t until a few hundred years later, that they realised that Venus was actually a single planet.” She nodded along, absorbing the new information before cupping his jaw in her palms to feel his lips between her own. “What was that for?” Spencer giggled after pulling away, not opposed to the action. “Just proving to the goddess of beauty and love that I do, very much, love a beautiful person.” The dawn breaking illuminated the rose flush on Spencer’s cheeks. “Fun fact, it’s actually the hottest planet in our solar system. Kind of…” he swallowed looking down at his shoes for a brief moment, “kind of reminds me of you,” he smirked, still an amateur to the skill they call flirting. Shaking her head at him, flustered, she sat down on the sheet motioning for him to take a seat beside her, before unpacking the basket. 

A small fishing boat coursed through the water, its hull parting the ocean from Atlantic to symmetrical fountain streams, which were immediately pinned back into place, the way a cobalt fabric cut by the scissors of a seamstress would fall to her worktable. Sitting cross legged above the water, Spencer, from a large flask, poured two much needed cups of coffee, the bright pink ’S’ decorating his one making him raise a brow. She handed him a spread bagel, topped with fluorescent streaks of smoked salmon and cracks of pepper, on a small wooden chopping board, heart fluttering at how his jaw dropped slightly in excitement. “It’s Philly Cream Cheese, by the way, I know you love dairy but I made sure this didn’t have any in it anyway.” A soft smile settled on his lips. “Thank you,” he expressed his gratitude, “for all of this,” he clarified, as he finished chopping up various stone fruit into a woven basket. “Don’t mention it. I just wanted to spend more hours of the day with you,”

“That’s very sweet, but I see exactly what you’re doing. I hope you don’t expect that this’ll get me up at this hour every weekend,” 

“Mhm,” a smug look made its way onto her face, “You already know I have other ways of getting you up early on Saturdays,”

“Oh? Okay, was that a-“ he had on an incredulous look, “I’m going to hold you to that,” he chewed down on his lip. She raised her eyebrows at his words. 

“Cheers,” she held up her cup for a toast. “Cheers,” Spencer repeated, the soft clink of metal sounding over the crows of gulls overhead. They huddled into each other, watching the vibrance of sunlight meld together like dyes on an artists’s unwashed watercolour palette. Needless to say, she was not at all disappointed when the star of the morning finally disappeared, because a sky full of them could be found in the eyes of the man she called hers, and as he turned to face her, before his hand settled in her hair and apricot flavoured tongue reached her lips, she saw it, for a moment.

[thr-333]

Drastic Measures- Part 11

@daminette-december2019-2020

~Snow globe~

Gabriel: Nathalie why haven't you canceled my card?! Nathalie: oh were you going to use that to pay my pay rise for moving to a different continent or to pay my last 6 years of overtime? Gabriel: Nathalie- Nathalie: You’re welcome to do it yourself sir. Gabriel:....... I can’t do anything without you can I? Nathalie: No you cant and make sure to remember that next pay day.

Ao3

First < Previous  > Next

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“So why are we here?” Damian asks getting dragged around the mall by the two.

“Because if we’re decorating the pet stores we need inspiration,” Marinette holds him by his elbow in case he tries to escape again, “And Adrien's having fun,”

“Why don’t we just hire someone for that?”

“I haven't found a good babysitter yet,” Marinette smiles as she knows Damian glares at her, “The style of the store is the most important thing, it’s what people interact with the most and a representation of our company,”

“Tt,” Marinette smiles knowing she won. 

They follow Adrien into an incredibly overpriced knick-knacks store, exactly what they’re looking for. She jots down notes in her book looking at the glasswork on the figurines or the beautifully painted porcelain.

“I think every store should have the same color coordination for each section,” Marinette suggests writing down a potential palette based on the plates she was looking at, “So people always know where to find something no matter the store,”

“How many people do you think are going to multiple stores?” Damian scoffs.

“We will be, besides its a decorative thing, a bit of paint on the wall or shelf, hm maybe each section should have a range of shades to keep it from being too samey,”

“I take it you’re in charge of this part now?”

“Guess so,” Marinette hums looking over the shelves for more inspiration, Adrien looking over a large glass sculpture that she may have to talk him out of buying, “So did you talk to Adrien?”

“Oh no,” Damian catches her attention, “He talked I was expected to listen,”

“So you make any decisions?” She spots a little china doll on a high shelf.

“I’m not going to run away if that’s what you’re asking,” Damian reaches over her grabbing the doll before she knocks over shelves trying to jump up and reach it.

“But If you were-”

“I’m not,” Damian hands the doll over.

“But if you were,” He gives her a withered glare, “Where would you go?”

“… Somewhere I can paint I suppose,” He says after some consideration.

“That's a start!” Marinette exclaims, almost dropping the doll.

“I can paint anywhere,” Damian catches it before she can.

“Ah,” They go back to pursuing the shelves, Damian taking it upon himself to hold the delicate decorations for some reason.

“... Where would you go?” He asks eventually, Marinette tries to keep the smile to herself as to not scare him off.

“I used to think I’d like to go somewhere with lots of snow,”

“Is that so?” Damian hums consideringly.

“Yeah but then I came here and realized the cold sucks,” Marinette's jaw actually drops as Damian laughs, not a snort or a scoff and actual chuckle! “Hollll- did you just laugh?! Did I just get you to laugh!? Are there cameras around?! Do you think they’ll let me keep the footage?!”

“Calm down,” Damian places a hand on her head to stop her bouncing,  “Besides I think your friend is about to make a ludicrous purchase,”

“Adrien!” Marinette snaps as he tries to pay for a glass sculpture twice his size, “Can it fit on the back of a motorcycle?!”

“.... no,” Adrien hangs his head like a toddler being told off.

“Then put it down!” Marinette chides dragging him away from the sculpture and out of the store. She already had to fit three on them on hers. Damian is lagging behind, Marinette resigns herself to having to drag them both through the mall like children when he finally catches up.

“Here take this,” She startles a snow globe in a clear box being pressed into her hands, “Now you can look at the snow without getting cold,”

“That's so nice,” She bites down on the follow-up question of where the hell is Damian and what did you do with him.

“No, it’s bribery,” Ah there he is, “Don’t tell anyone I laughed,”

“So you admit you laughed,” Marinette smirks, letting Adrien go look at different stores.

“Besides,” Damian sharply changes the topic, “If you want to see the snow so badly just stay inside a cabin or something,”

“Well maybe you can come with me,” Marinette hums looking at the snowflakes fall over a winter forest, two little people by a campfire, “I bet it would be beautiful to paint,”

“Maybe so,” Damian agrees before giving her a side look, “Also you’re a horrible influence,”

“Who me? It’s not like I gave you the idea to run away,” He had come to her with that all on his own.

“No you didn’t,” Damian easily agrees, walking along with Marinette.

“Well if you’re still in the rebellion mood why don’t you join the pink hair squad?”

“I am not dying my hair pink,” Damian rolls his eyes.

“Just a little bit?” Marinette steps in front of him walking backward.

“No,” Damian brushes past her, Marinette lets him go ahead.

“Adrien I just had the best idea,” Marinette turns to her side where Adrien is not. Marinette looks behind her spotting Adrien in the crowd- getting picked up and carried away by a stranger! “ADRIEN!”

Damian hears her shout bolting forward. Grabbing a baton he apparently had the whole time. 

“Damian, watch out! They might have feelings!” Damian actually stops in his tracks, turning back to glare at her.

“...”

“...”

“Hey guys,” Adrien speaks up, “I’m kind of being kidnapped,”

“Right!” Marinette wipes the grin off her face, punching the kidnapper right on the jaw. He drops Adrien who lands on his feet, “Do I need a child leash for you young man?”

“Please don’t my Father had one of those for me,” Adrien brushes himself off as the kidnapped stumbles to the ground.

“Weren’t you never allowed out of the house?” Marinette asks as Damian steps forward to pull the kidnapper's arms behind their back.

“Exactly,”

“Not that this isn't riveting,” Damian says in the most bored tone, turning to the kidnapped, “Who hired you?”

“Garbeil Agreste sent me to fetch his son,”

“Yeah, here we call that kidnapping,” Adrien snarks back, “Great can’t the guy just leave me alone? What's his problem it’s like-”

“Nope!” Damian drops the kidnapper walking away, “Not today! Not again!”

“... well that's just rude,” Adrien huffs as someone calls the police.

“Don’t worry,” Marinette smiles, “As I was trying to tell you I have a plan,”

 ---

 “MARINETTE!”

“Hm wonder what that could be about,” Marinette flips the page, continuing to read peacefully while seated for breakfast with the rest of the Waynes.

“Dupain-Cheng I know you are responsible for this,” Damian leans over her, still in a towel and dripping wet, oh and with pink hair that bits kinda important.

“You did this to him?” Jason laughs, not so subtly taking pictures with glee.

“Relax it’s temporary dye,” Marinette grabs Damain’s shoulder before he can jump over the table and dismember Jason.

“How temporary?” Damian demands, Marinette just turns to a new page with no drips of water on it.

“Just wash it a few more times and it will come right out,” Damian huffs again stalking out of the room, all eyes on her.

“... I can’t believe you survived that,” Tim says with awe, “Actually even Damians not stupid enough to risk that,”

She’ll ask what he means later.

 ---

 “Temporary Dupain-cheng?” Damian glares at her, still very much pink and still very much angry.

“Alright maybe not,” Marinette tries to suppress a giggle, “It looks good tho,”

“Dupain-cheng you will fix this and you will fix this now,” She’s not lying he does look good and she does blush.

“Well, we could go to the hairdresser-”

“No,” Damian snaps, crossing his arms like it's final.

“Do you trust me to dye your hair myself?”

“Absolutely not,” at least not after this.

“Then you’re stuck like that,” Marinette shrugs, Damian groans sinking into the seat behind him.

“This is all your fault Dupain-cheng,”

“Ha, how long are you going to call me that?” Damian leans forward fixing her with a venomous glare.

“Forever,”

 ---

 “Hey Robin- are you wearing a swimming cap under your hood?” Ladybug cuts herself off trying to take off his hood.

“It’s a lightweight head protector,” Robin grabs her wrist, but Ladybug is stronger.

“Yeah no,” Ladybug pushes his hood off, “It’s a swimming cap, what is killer croc up to something?”

“You’re hilarious,” Robin scoffs looking away as if there isn’t a real smile tugging at his mouth.

“Well I can’t let Chat take all the glory,” Ladybug shrugs coming to sit next to him in what has become their usual spot, “So what's the deal? Gasp did you lose a dare?”

“Did you just say gasp?” Robin asks incredulously, “And no it’s not a dare it’s a rather unfortunate prank,”

“Oh please please tell me they did the same to Batman, Please,” Ladybug his holding both his shoulders, Robin completely turned towards her as she looks at him desperately.

“........ yes,”

 ---

 “Marinette,”

“Yes Bruc-” Marinette chokes then tries to choke down her laugh.

“I feel you may have gotten carried away, I would like to remind you-” 

“So sorry to interrupt,” Marinette interrupts, “But that wasn't me,”

“Are you sure?” Bruce is studying her.

“Yeah I only messed with Damian's  bathroom,” Marinette turns completely towards him, “Were you using Damian's bathroom?”

“No,”

“Then it wasn't me,” Marinette shrugs turning away.

“Then who did it?”

“A true mystery,”

 ---

 “So you’re sure you want me to do this,” Marinette asks again, the dye in one hand Damian sitting in front of her.

“Dupain-Cheng I swear-”

“Ah, if I help you, you have to stop calling me that,” She tells him, pulling the black dye away for extra effect.

“I only call you that because of what you did,” Damian glares at her reflection in the mirror, “If you want to get back in my good graces then do this,”

“Alright, you’re sure you don’t want to keep a little pink?”

“Marinette,”

“Alright, alright,” Marinette ruffles his hair while she can get away with it, “I did like your pink hair,”

“It got in the way of...” He trails off.

“Way of what?”

“Nothing,” Marinette drops it, the topic not the dye.

“Well Damian,” She spreads the dye through his hair, “Welcome to your first step of rebellion,”

Little did either realize how true that was.

--------

no tag list :P

[marshmallowprotection]

Kait’s Emotional Crisis and Analysis on Saeran’s After Ending

That’s right. it’s here folks! You’re here because we’ve managed to survive the waiting period that has been two-years in the making. Are we all happy that we have made it this far and survived the wait? Yes, yes, we are. You wouldn’t still be listening to me babble about how much I love Saeran Choi if you weren’t. We all know what we’re here for, so let’s get down to business. 

THIS IS A VERY LONG POST. I’m not even joking this time. It’s a very long post. 

Spoilers for Ray Route and Another Story!

I’ve been having to control the flappy hands when I see this photo so forgive me if my thoughts are all over the place as I talk about everything that has been on my mind. I literally had to pinch myself when I woke up to a flood of messages on the matter. 

It’s him. It’s my boy. It’s my boy.  It’s my boy! Mom, holy fuck! It’s my boy and he looks great. I’ve had a lot on my mind since I first saw the title screen so let’s get down to what I have to say about that. First of all, I’m in love with MC’s outfit. I’d wear that, that’s the fucking mood tonight. I’ve been frothing at the bit to be able to draw my MC wearing this outfit and I didn’t even wanna start doing something like that until they gave the official release to us. 

What can I say? I’m a sucker for really frilly tops. Those pink jeans are a really nice shade of pink too. It’s not hot pink, it’s a nice bubblegum which is a good contrast to Saeran’s hair, haha! I just like seeing all the pinks around this boy and his MC, of course, has to be cloaked in those colors as well. It just makes me really happy. I love some of the other outfits that MC gets to wear in the game but oh, God, oh, Fuck. This has to be my favorite outfit that we’ve been able to wear thus far. 

The little necktie? Perfect. Those sleeves? Iconic. The hand-holding? PURE AS FUCK. THE VIBES? CHECKED. 

Now that I’ve covered my bases with MC, let’s go onto the Choi brothers and talk about them. I actually like that they’ve been drawing Saeran in more brown and pink outfits. It just feels very right for him. 

It goes to show that his mental state is much better than it was in recent years, like, from Ray to Suit Saeran and to Unknown, we all know that they would dress in black and darker themes if they were given the chance. Ray’s outfit was given to him by Rika to wear, and Suit Saeran was the one that picked his suit out to wear. Unknown walked out of the clearance bin at Hot Topic and added those cowboy boots to enrage me. But, I digress. I’ll fight Unknown at a later date about that. 

The natural and earthy tones that they’re going for here with him are very nice to see. He seems like he’s a lot comfier with himself here. He’s got a cozy little old sweater on and his posture is better than I’ve seen it in many photos. If his style is just cozy sweaters, then, well, I can vibe with that. I can see him working in the garden wearing that and I think that’s the point that they’re making with this style of his. 

The loose collar is also nice. I’m used to seeing his clothes buttoned up and out of the way, making sure that he isn’t showing his body. So, seeing him play with his style and wearing something much looser against his body is a good thing as well. I think I saw someone call him a comfy grandpa in one of the posts that I’ve seen floating around. I chuckle at that mention. 

Saeran doesn’t care that much about fashion, to be honest with you. He would, of course, choose something that’s minimalist and comfortable. These browns work with him very much so. I’m happy to see it! It’s in line with the style that I’ve had in mind for him after the Ending! 

Can you see the way that he’s gazing at the player, though? Can we talk about the way that he’s looking at us?

The longing in that gaze... the way that it looks like he’s been getting some good sleep for once in his life because the discoloration of purple is gone! The way he has that tiny smile that only we know is a smile because he only shares that side of himself with us? His MC? God, I’m in love with you, you fucking bastard man why is your smile making me cry so much?

I could talk about his smile for hours. His expression. The longing. The way that I love you cannot be contained in words, Saeran. It’s far too strong. Just know I’m the person that can feel what’s going on his body from looking at him. He looks to be in a good place. 

Anyways, onto Saeyoung. 

Oh, my darling, Saeyoung. I’m used to seeing you in green palettes. It’s just a tried and true theory with your red hair and you lean heavily into being a walking Christmas palette. It’s rare to see you without your glasses, and I’m sure that a lot of people are swooning over you for that. You know you’re handsome and you will use that against those MCs that love you. I don’t have a lot to say about his outfit but I do think it’s really fitting for him. 

It seems like a muted pull-over and some worn jeans, which seems in line with everything that I would style him in. He knows plenty about style himself and he knows how to make my head spin. 

What is this somber look in his eyes? There’s a smile on his lips but there is this feeling to me that it doesn’t meet his eyes. Is he happy that we’re with Saeran or is he weighed by the fact that he wasn’t the one to save Saeran? Does he know what happens with Rika? Does he feel angry over that? What are we going to tell the RFA and him about this? I know that he would be happy that we saved his brother...

But the guilt in his heart is nothing to scoff off. He always blames himself for what happened to Saeran even though Rika is the one that broke his trust for good and forever. I feel like there’s something bittersweet in his eyes. Does he think that Saeran and the player are going to live happily while he’s not there? 

I always intended to imagine Saeyoung living with Saeran and the player, because they can’t be separated again. 

But does he feel like a weight and a third wheel? I don’t know. I’m scared to think about how he may feel like Saeran is happy now without him and he’ll try to pull away instead of adding anymore trauma onto Saeran’s life. I know that it’s not going to easy for recovery for either of them, but I want to have faith and care for the two of them. 

Saeyoung, you better not self-deprecate. I’ll smooch your forehead too. I just really don’t know how I feel about that look in his eyes. It’s just matching the smile in my opinion. 

I’m still screaming. I’ve been a pit of screaming for nearly three hours now and I know that I’ve still got plenty more to say today on the matter. But, I know why you’re here for real, you want me to analyze what I see in this picture and what I think will be in the AE from what we’re shown. I’ve had a few days to think it over and I’ve got my ideas. 

Where are you Saeyoung? This title screen is not confirmation that Saeyoung is alive. For all we know, this photo could be more inspiration for the theme and the emotion that takes place in the After Ending. 

I have to remind people that when we first played Saeyoung’s AE, it was a rouse and we were treated to a happy dream sequence that sought to talk about Saeran living with us and Saeyoung as he made a toy store. There’s a possibility that in the midst of the search for Saeyoung, we’re confronted with dreams and nightmares on Saeran’s end in regards to his brother. 

It’s my biggest fear that Saeyoung isn’t alive. We don’t know if the Prime Minister took him or if an enemy took him, or if it was the agency, or a combination of all three of these options. I don’t know how I feel about it. I’ve considered that we won’t have the answer until the After Ending itself comes out but I’m interested to know what the answer is. 

If it was Saejoong, well, I fear for Saeyoung’s health if we do find him alive. His emotional state... God, that was always his biggest fear. His and Saeran’s biggest fear that their mother always whispered. She was a monster to the two of them with her abuse but the unknown of what their father would do to them had to be even more frightening. Their mother always said that Saejoong would kill them if he caught them. 

But, he could have honestly done a lot of horrible and twisted things. They could have become political pawns and a sob story that Saejoong could have sold if he wanted quite easily, and their mother could have been killed to silence that story. There was a lot of worse case scenarios. Saeyoung knows and has thought of all of them. 

So the idea that he’s living his worst nightmare? 

The fact that Saejoong could have killed Saeran without him being able to protect him?

The fact that he’d not be able to talk to V? 

He sent a frenzied message to the chatroom for us to contact V for him. This only implies that he was trying to warn V to protect Saeran at the last minute, so it feels like it could only be Saejoong that took him. He panicked hard. He had to make sure that Saeran was protected even if he died. I think that was what he did with his message in the chatroom. 

But, we all know how it turned out. 

I felt like that sacrifice of panic on his part was.... it still hurts me to think about all of it. 

My worst case scenario is a dream sequence and Saeyoung not... not being alive anymore. I don’t know what that would do to Saeran. He wants to make things right with his brother, he really does. The gaslighting and manipulation done by Rika is going to take some time for them to work past, and I know that he can make progress in therapy and as he challenge his intrusive thoughts as we stand by his side. He can see it through. 

He is hopeful for his brother. 

However, it’s going to be tested when he actually faces his brother in the game and that’s the real test. Therapy is one thing. Facing your fears is even harder than talking about them. Saeran is going to... be overwhelmed with everything and he may need to step away when push comes to shove. 

I want Saeyoung to see us together holding hands and let him have that moment realization that even though Saeran went through a lot of harm while they were separated, he wasn’t alone through all of it. He never wanted Saeran to be alone in any way. If Saeran has to step away, then well, that would leave us with his brother in the process.

I can’t say how much I’d choke up if he thanked us for loving his brother. The guilt in his eyes as he cries and we reassure him. I think that’s one thing that I want the most with Saeyoung. I want him to know freedom from his chains and I want to help him too. There’s a lot that I want out of that and there’s so much of this potential that we can talk about in the AE.

There’s a lot with Saeyoung that I want to think about but so much of it makes me wanna cry. 

I also fear for V and I’ve discussed many of my fears on that matter. I’ll repost my thoughts right here.

Now, in regards to what I sincerely don’t want is a repeat of what went down with V’s After Ending.

I’ve shared my feelings on that matter before and I understand that Cheritz was going for that moral high-road that many people take where they say that it’s better to forgive on your path to healing, and while that can be good for some people, it can leave a sour taste in the mouth of people who don’t pick to forgive the people that hurt them.

I don’t choose to forgive the people that hurt me in many cases. That doesn’t make me a bad person. The problem with the Forgive/Judgement ending is that it can make you feel ashamed for not forgiving someone who quite literally, took funds from the RFA’s first two parties (that’s the only way she could’ve gotten the money to fund Mint Eye, even coercion and manipulation of people on the level that Rika does wouldn’t give her that much ability), manipulated and gas-lit Ray and Saeran for years, deceived and drugged countless people, so on and so forth.

I hate that she’s never punished for her actions. She needs to be rightfully punished for what she did. I want her to get therapy, and I want her to learn that she was wrong for what she did to everyone. I want her to be able to get better for her own health, and I don’t think she should ever be contact with anyone in the RFA ever again. But, that’s up to the RFA if they choose to speak with her or interact with her, not mine. I don’t want her to die, I want her to learn what she did was wrong.

It’s not Mika (Rika Behind Story Spoilers) who went through the cult. Rika had every chance to stop while she was ahead but she kept doing it. I would not forgive Rika, and I would never want to be around her ever again if I were in the position of the RFA when the truth is made known.  

The only action that Rika ever took that could be looked at with the filter of self-defense was when she panicked when the boy’s mother tried to get close to her and harm her in a drunken rage. She acted to protect herself in that situation, but that’s the only thing that she’s ever done that someone could look at and say, she was protecting herself. She felt threatened. She panicked, she blacked out and protected herself from harm.

Don’t get me started on V. I love V, he’s not perfect, he fucked up a lot and he shouldn’t have gone back to Rika. It feels like he saw us love, forgive, and stand by Saeran and thought that he could be able to do the same for Rika, but that is not what will help him or Rika. They don’t need to be together again. They need to be fair away. Rika and V literally burned down the boy’s childhood home and V was wearing his sunglasses, so I can only presume that Rika harmed his eyes after he went to her.

Saeran himself says that he wants to tell everyone about Rika and V, but he needs to be able to discuss it with V. Even Saeran understands that V is a victim to some degree and he wants to help him. 

That was a big fucking comment on his part and I was proud of him for that. 

But, V left for Rika and we don’t know if we’ll ever see him again. So, I really don’t know how that’s going to be handled in the slightest, Anon.

I don’t want Rika and V together, like, ever again.

I want Rika to be punished for her actions and caught. I want V to get away from her and start to learn to love himself again and grow. I believe in him but he’s in need of someone to cheer him on when that abusive relationship ends. I really don’t want a repeat of V’s After Ending.

Don’t make me forgive Rika. 

Don’t make Saeran forgive her, either. 

That’s my worst case scenario fear. I want Saeran to be able to grow and get healthier, for sure, but his final confrontation with Rika should be the last time that he ever thinks about her. He made his mind up and he made it clear that she was wrong and he would never be tricked by her again.

I want him to stand his ground on that. I’ll stand by him no matter what he chooses to do, though. So, I want this to be about Saeran and Saeyoung coming together again, and helping V get out of that relationship with Rika, as well as Rika facing punishment for her actions. 

But, that might be asking a bit too much, haha.

Ideally, I want Saeran and the player to be able to reach out to V and help him get away from Rika as she’s taken down as well. We don’t know if she left Mint Eye for sure, we don’t know if she and V ran away. Who is running the Cult? Is the cult put to a stop or did Rika put somebody else in charge? It’s hard to say on that front and I’m still not sure how that’s going to end up. 

V can open up and work out everything that’s going to fall out here as it did in the events of V Route with Rika. He’ll need to work out everything with Jumin and the others, but I have hope for him to be able to face what went wrong and not only get the help he needs, but get the support of his support circle behind his back as everyone rallies behind him. 

I would love he and Saeran to be able to work out everything, Saeyoung as well, because even Saeran is willing to work with Jihyun. Rika to get some therapy, get punished for her actions and that to be dealt with is great. It never happens so. That would be a nice change.

Saeran knows that V is a victim in all of this too. So, it remains to be seen how this is going to be handled. I can only pray that Jihyun is able to be rescued as we rescue Saeyoung (hopefully, fingers crossed.) I’m still so proud of Saeran for doing that. 

God. 

I’ve talked about Choice and Saeran before in regards to the Secret Ending and his Good ending and... well, I’ll direct you to that post. To read about how important it was for Saeran to be able to choose what  he wanted to do with his life instead of having options forced on him. 

Can we discuss this photo as well from the Special Believer Box that I’m nearly about to buy at this point with whatever comes out with AE cause I need it?? I’m gonna go fucking broke. For you. Saeran. For you. I was saving my money for Christmas and now I’ve got a reason to live. 

I still don’t know if this is the implication of what will happen in the AE or if it’s something that will just exist as a standalone image. I still don’t know why Saeran would be dresses as his brother for some reason, unless there’s a twin switch-a-roo plot somewhere in all of this? I mean, bold choice, but I don’t know. I just think I needed to say again how cute that I think Saeran is in Saeyoung’s outfit. He’s so tiny and slender in comparison to his brother. 

I’m gonna fucking smooch his forehead. I don’t know, I want the CG title screen and this photo here to imply that the Choi boys will be alive and happy together once all is said and done. I can’t say that I know where we’re heading but there is bound to be an adventure to hunt down Saeyoung, but I’m not sure where it will take us. 

A wild-goose chase alongside whatever mystery is left. I can’t wait. 

My ideal ending is one where we get to live in a little house by the sea with a garden with Saeran and Saeyoung where we can visit and chat with the RFA whenever we want. But, we’ll have to see what happens. If you want to read more about some of the things that I think he wants to do with his MC now that he’s free check out this post. 

Anyways. 

Kait’s gotta go cry now. 

[pure-kirarin]

One piece 30 day challenge : Day 9 : Character you have a lot in common with

Perona  & Pudding are the characters that I relate to the most. Actually, if you mix both of them, you would get a something close to me. 

I relate to female characters more, but this was 100% a “coincidence” this is kind of personal as I tell a lot of things about myself and how I relate to these characters. 

Perona : 

What we have in commun : 

Himedere : Huge princess complex. Since I was a kid I was obsessed with Disney princesses. I love princesses and even my name translates to princess.

Sensitive : She is so soft and sensitive inside. I can’t count the times I related to her crying hahaha. The moment when Mihawk said “Take care” and she started crying. Like, don’t be so nice to me hahah. When people are nice to me I just get so emotional I want to cry. 

Huge sweet tooth: Who doesn’t like bagel with jam honestly ? 

Negativity queen : I am so negative. I am working on it though. >< now it’s much better,

Teddy bear & kawaii things obsession : I am okay paying something 3 times its price because it’s pink. This is self explanatory. 

Fashion sense : Perona’s way of dressing up and sense of fashion is really close to my aesthetic. Actually, I think that me & her could easily exchange our wardrobes haha. I love the mix of pink and black in her outfits. These are my two major color schemes when I dress up. Even thought I am more into the pale palette. 

On a funny note, I always dreamt of dying my hair pink, but now I like its brown color. 

Do you guys need a picture of me with pigtails, eyeball hair pins,  lolita platforms, and black lacy dress ????

--> Let’s say me and Perona are similar on a “superficial” level. On general physical and personnality traits. My darker side is very close to Pudding’s personnality. 

Pudding : 

What we have in commun :

On a shallow level : My mom actually said we looked alike when I was watching OP on TV haha ! The moment I saw her I just loved her so much. She is so cute, seemed so pure. 100% The image I give off to people who don’t know me well. 

On a deeper level : I was surprized when she showed her “true colors”. I was taken aback, but I kind of related to her when I finished watching WCI. We have the same “dark side” and the same insecurities. As someone that has been rejected and called ugly by her own mother I really understand that it can mess up with your brain. I have so much anger bottled up in me against the whole world sometimes. I understand her so much. How she acts tough outside, how she is double faced and shows a facade to the world. 

Never believing that she’s beautiful : A very hard one for me. After years I still feel like an ugly duckling haha. Can’t make peace with myself. When Sanji told her that her third eye is beautiful, how shocked she was, how she didn’t want to accept it...Aaah...This is me everytime someone compliments my insecurities. 

Fashion sense-wise: I feel like her “pale” color palette is my main go to style actually ! I love her frills and most of her outfits.

Favourite outfit : 

This is definitely something I would wear. Actually, I have a Lis Liza dress and jacket that looks very similar to this style ! And pink bag too...And the way she styles her hair and the bows and everything. God, so adorable. This is exactly my sense of fashion 

On a funny note :  When I am hungry. I am exactly like Big mom and I eat as much as her.

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

Ya know what these self-indulgent Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow posts need? Self-indulgent banner art, that’s what.

Spoilers for issue #4!

Let’s start this off right with CREATOR CREDITS. Issue 4 of Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow is titled “Restraint, Endurance, and Passion.” Written by Tom King, Art by Bilquis Evely, Colors by Matheus Lopes, Letters by Clayton Cowles, and Edited by Brittany Holzherr. (w/ Assist. Editor: Bixie Mathieu & Senior Editor Mike Cotton)

THE STORY: 

Right, so this? This issue? Best one yet.

Also the bleakest of the bunch thus far; even though we don’t always see the brutality of the space pirates that Kara and Ruthye are following, there’s...the suggestion of it. The aftermath. And how Kara responds to it.

Okay, getting a little ahead of myself. BASIC PLOT SUMMARY: Ruthye and Kara continue their pursuit of Krem, who has taken up with Barbond’s Brigands.

The Brigands basically just. Murder and terrorize people, for profit.

Each planet they visit brings new horrors, as well as people who need Supergirl’s help.

And help she does.

KARA-CTERIZATION:

I yell a lot about the art on this book, and have, in fact, openly admitted that I’m primarily here for Evely and Lopes.

Well, that wily son-of-a-gun King went and wrote some of the best ‘Super’ stuff I’ve ever read and dang it, dang it, now I gotta yell about the words too. XD

Specifically, I wanna yell (in a good way!) about some words that occur towards the very end of the book.

Kara and Ruthye have Seen Some Things; things like genocide and mass grave sites and horrible violence, and upon reaching a planet where peaceful monks were slaughtered, Kara’s had enough, and needs to leave because if she screams, she’ll destroy what little is left of the monks’ monastery.

Here’s the text in full, because my gosh. It’s so good:

“What I write next I write based on my observations in those long-ago days at the side of the greatest warrior in the history of this august reality we all call home. It is important to note that my assertions do not rely on anything Supergirl said. It was not a subject we ever discussed or even approached, but nonetheless I believe it to be as true as the turning of worlds. You see, what is not well understood about the daughter of Krypton is that her power was not one of action but one of restraint, endurance, and passion. She did not choose to fire a beam from her eyes, or have breath of ice, or run faster than a speeding bullet. Or any of her other well-documented miracles. No, she held back her heat vision to look you in the face. She warmed her breath to converse with you. She slowed herself to walk by your side. Ever moment of every day, she suppressed the forces churning inside of her. All of the energy of a dead world that strained against her many barriers, eternally demanded to be released. I believe this effort hurt her. I believe she lived her life in pain. But I reiterate again, for I think it important enough to repeat--These beliefs are based on my time at her side, watching her as she moved through strife and sorrow. If you were to have asked her, I have little doubt she would have claimed that such as assertion was absurd. She would say she felt fine and well and then she’d as you if you needed any help.”

A long chunk of words, I know (this comic is DENSE!) but like. This is it. This is one of the defining attributes of the Supers--all that raw power at their disposal and they choose to help people, to be kind, to suppress that power for the benefit and safety of others.

HNNNNNNNG.

Hope, Help, and Compassion for All.

Whole lotta folks claimed at the outset of this book that King did not understand Kara, that he was a bad fit. And that may be so, I suppose--there’s a whole other discussion about like. The violence and swearing and ‘does that belong in a Supergirl book?’ But the characterization? Getting that Kara and Clark are just good people? 

King gets it. He got it in Superman: Up in the Sky and he gets it here, in Woman of Tomorrow.

Other things King gets! Kara is stubborn! Kara is passionate! Kara is going to fix things, even if the effort of doing so hurts her, physically, emotionally, and mentally!

(Fuuuuuuun fact for the crowd saying that Woman of Tomorrow is vastly superior to the CW show: TV Kara is ALSO all of those things! King isn’t pulling this stuff out of thin air. It’s almost like...gosh. I don’t know! Both the show and Tom King are pulling from the character’s comic history, or something!!!! HOW NOVEL.) 

Like, seriously. There’s a lot of overlap. Stop pitting Karas against each other!

Anyways!

I promised art, so here is art!

Oh, right, forgot to mention, Kara literally THROWS HERSELF INTO THE SUN to express her grief and anger, so as to not cause that unnecessary destruction. She gives new meaning to the phrase: Set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. 

More art yelling: GOTTDAMN, the way Evely draws Kara just colliding with the surface of the sun and then the way Kara’s hair like...becomes the flames...

I am FEELING FEELINGS. HOW DARE.

Also, props to King and Cowles; King for deciding to have that initial scream, Cowles for the way the letters burst forth from the point of impact on the sun, and then back to King who decided that it would just be...devastating silent screaming from Kara, for the remainder of the scene. 

Back to the characterization, I just wanted to highlight something I mentioned...earlier on, I think? In these posts? But haven’t brought up recently, and that is how this book has not once brought up Zor-El, and I think Superman only got a quick mention in issue 2.

Honestly, I think that’s gotta be some kind of record.

It’s so refreshing. Not because I think there should never be mentions of Clark, or anything--I love that boy--but because so much of modern Supergirl comic drama is mined from the same like, angsting over her place compared to Clark, or her crazy sometimes-a-supervillain dad. 

There is no Clark and Kara drama here, no manufactured friction, because it’s just. A cool Supergirl story! 

Gonna keep going, but let’s do it with some more...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTT!!!!

Once again, Mat Lopes is all over the dang place with his palettes, it’s marvelous.

Each new planet gives Evely the opportunity to go hog wild on the worldbuilding and design, and similarly! Each new locale is an opportunity for Lopes to set the tone with colors. Like, here, towards the beginning of the book, we’ve got a planet bathed in this warm, pale yellow/orange light. 

(Quick note: “Sure, yeah, I get it. We all have our duties. And it’s mine as a neighbor to do what I can to help you with yours. Please.” A+ Kara content. We love to see it. And then locating the remains of the alien’s daughter, so that they can go visit the grave site and have some emotional closure???? It’s just. So. Touching.)

Anyways, back to colors.

Like!!!! LOOK AT THAT JUMP. From the soft, almost pastoral feel of the delicate oranges and yellows to HARD GREEN, PINK, AND PURPLE. (Difficult colors to pull off in print, I might add.) 

(This is also an interesting scene, character-wise, because I think it helps re-contextualize some earlier stuff with Kara. Like, I’m mostly thinking that incident on the bus, where she was swearing at the passengers as the space dragon was about to destroy them. Here, we see Kara kind of...goad this alien woman into releasing her pent up emotions by yelling at her/getting her to fight, and you can clearly see at the end of it that Kara did not mean the things she said, because check this out:

She goes and gives her a hug once the woman is able to finally cry.

It’s not ‘Kara is being mean, Kara is swearing at her’, it’s, ‘Kara has an unorthodox solution to a problem, and she’s gonna FIX that problem, NO MATTER WHAT.’

Circling back to the bus thing--again, that could be an instance of ‘unorthodox approach to a weird situation that Kara is going to handle because lives are at stake.’)

But also, DIG THAT KIRBY KRACKLE, BAY-BEEEEE!

And a little Strange Adventures easter egg! The Pykkts! 

(I think those guys are unique to the Black Label series, rather than deep Adam Strange lore, but don’t quote me on that.)

Moving on to YET ANOTHER PALETTE, one I’ve dubbed, ‘Treasure Planet Purple/Grey’

Love Ruthye’s snoozing against the door, waiting for Kara.

Also, just as striking as the colors of the environment, are the colors used on Kara. 

If you compare this page with the previous one, Kara’s eyes are a paler shade of blue, and the red-rimmed look on her eyes here is not as intense as the red-rimmed look we saw back in issue one, when she was confronting Krem. 

All of which to say! There’s a pale, haunted quality to both the linework and the colors. Like. We know Kara has Seen Some Things. But she’s shoving all that stuff down to protect Ruthye, to save Krypto, and to stop these monsters, and you get all of that WITH COLORS AND LINES ON A PAGE.

I love it, I love it so much.

OTHER BOOKS WISH THEY HAD THIS LEVEL OF CHARACTER ACTING, I TELL YA! THEY WISH THEY HAD THIS BEAUTIFUL ALCHEMY OF INKER, COLORIST, AND WRITER WORKING IN SUCH TIGHT TANDEM!

Ahem. XD

Alright, last bit of art, lest I just. Post the whole issue in here. (Which I’m honestly always tempted to do but Strong Feelings about Piracy hold me back.)

JUST HECKIN’ LOOK AT THAT BLUE, MAN. JUST LOOK AT IT. S’BEAUTIFUL.

And more stunning character acting from Evely. Like. Bottom middle panel. The expression, the tilt of her head and the shadows on her eyes...

*insert silent flailing here*

Oh, also, KRYPTO LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVESSSS (for now). 

I’m never right about these things, so I’m glad the one time I’ve correctly read a thing is when it involves Krypto not, ya know. Being dead. XD

Also absolutely love that Kara’s instinct is to send Ruthye home to protect her--once more leaning into that whole, ‘I’m going to protect you, even at great cost to myself’, though of course we know that she can’t send her home, not here, not now, just halfway through our journey. 

ERRRRRRGH, so mad we’re not getting twelve issues of this! CURSE YOU, POOR SUPERGIRL TRADE SALES! CURSE YOOOOOOU!

That said, King’s pacing? Has been phenomenal. I feel like Strange Adventures and even Mr. Miracle kinda...I’m not gonna say dragged, that’s not quite right. But it is more build up, I guess. Takes a while to get to the payoff.

Here, I think King is pushing things steadily along as he doesn’t have the benefit of an additional four issues, so he has to get to the point, so to speak. Keeps everything moving.

SOME FINAL, MISC. STUFF:

I’ve sort of glossed over the darker stuff from this issue, and I just wanna note that like. This is a book that features a bad guy getting stoned (in the death sentence way, not the drug way) on panel. Like. I can’t recommend this to children.

I can’t even really recommend it to some other Supergirl fans, because I know that the King elements will be too off-putting. 

It never feels like the book is going too far, though. At least in like an...exploitative way? If that makes sense?

The violence is handled with discretion, I guess is what I’m trying to convey. This could very easily tip over into like, gross shock factor territory, if not handled well, but I think the creative team pulls it off.

...Still wouldn’t hand this book to kids, though. XD

As mentioned, we’re halfway through this series! Can’t wait to see where it goes--every time I think I have this book figured out, it surprises me. So, like. Bring on the Dinosaur planet! With no sunlight! I wanna see how Lopes handles THAT. XD

(But Oh, OooooOOooh, we gotta wait until NOVEMBER.)

(Hhhnnnnng!)

(Then again, maybe that’s good; we’ve got the TV show in the meantime, and then once it ends we can pick right up with new Supergirl content just a few weeks later.)

(...Aw. Made myself a little sad, thinking about the TV show coming to an end.)

:C

So as not to end on that sad note, here once again is tiny, smushed Kara:

Give ‘em the ol razzle dazzle.

[koiandjelly]

I sketched my Builder, Lilac, out yesterday. With a brown colored pencil I blindly swiped off my bedside table so I couldn’t erase anything if I messed up. :P

That’s why the collar area of her dress looks a bit off, I had meant to have it just be a normal, wide square cut or maybe v cut thing, cuz Lilac wears her dress over a black turtleneck sweater, but eh... I rarely get myself to do things these days so I figured I’d share it beyond the discord server flaws and all.

Lilac has lilac hair, clever character designer that I am. Although after google checking some color samples I think her hair is *slightly* more blue toned than red? I’m still thinking on what her color palette should be, cuz I think her builder outfit should have different colors in a few ways. Black sweater, blue toned light gray gloves, the red of the builder dress is... I’ma say a pale, pastel, cold hued blue, and the off white-cream part is some white. Boots and belt match the gloves, the belt buckle is still silver... her dress does not have the default, what is that, cowboy tassels? Her dress is more flowy, and I’m thinkin’ it’d actually probably be just above knee length. She wears black shorts under still. Lilac is a lover of floral scenery and all things cute, and her outfit is more reflective of her fondness of delicate, mystical things, but she *is* still a Builder. As much as she loves building lovely forest nestled villages and decorating with dyed furniture and such with a supply of pink dye to last her centuries thanks to her exclusively designated, absolutely massive farmland for strawberries, she’s not an indoors kind of girl.

After all, Lilac *is* the one going out to gather all the things she loves. Her true favorite color is actually her namesake, pale lilac hues, but the vibrant purple dyes she gathers from her adventures often fail to match that. So because of her love of pastel purples, Lilac ends up *frequently* venturing out to the Defiled Isle to harvest Witchgrass for her beloved Isle of Awakening. Malroth of course tags along because Lilac is still pretty naturally unfit to be a warrior. She’s impulsive and hasty when she explores (even after all the events of the story and she and Malroth are living peacefully on the IoA, she really hasn’t grown used to fighting monsters. She has the Secret Falcon Blade, but that’s about her only savior in solo combat. She really relies on Malroth to help out in battle, and thankfully he’s Damn good at it.) and her on the spot planning isn’t too quick, and although she’s extremely in shape and physically fit, she’s got the build to, well, build, rather than endure combat situations. She’s not *useless*, but fighting really isn’t her thing. So, Malroth tags along.

Aaaand, Lilac loves Witchgrass. It’s grass, it’s purple, it’s *pale purple*, and after some extensive testing with help of Rosie and Mr Wrigley, she determined that it is in fact... totally harmless! Not a toxic grass at all! My little headcanon explanation I came up with whilst thinkin’ up this stuff is that Witchgrass does thrive in toxic swamps and ashen wastelands, but it doesn’t contribute to the hostile environment, it’s simply resistant to what kills off the other grasses, and since it fills that particular niche, it has now grown fragile to environments where other plants thrive. It’s a very interesting grass, and Lilac just adores the stuff. So, she’s often taking Malroth along with her go gather just tons and tons of the stuff to transplant back on her newest Buildertopia project!

Lilac’s been reading up on what little bits of literature that exists in the new world that came from the original world she’s from. I’ve played DQB1 before so I recognize Cantlin. And thus, I break things off here to let my hands rest before I continue on Lilac’s Witchgrass paradise project.

[purplesurveys]

1068

What internet browser do you use?  Chrome. It’s what I’m used to, but I also think it looks the cleanest among the other available browsers.

What brand water do you drink? (Smart Water, Dasani, etc) I never reach for imported water brands like Evian because what is the point?? The local bottled water brands we have like Summit and Absolute work fine and already do a great job of quenching my thirst.

Do you have a job? Yes and I go back tomorrow and I’m cringing thinking about it. I love my job, but I wish it wasn’t so mercilessly hectic for 9 straight hours, 5 days a week. I like to think that I was hired right at the start of all the simultaneous Christmas campaigns of our clients which is why everything seemed busy; so I’m hoping the workload will start to die down a little bit now that all the holidays are over.

Are you full-time or part-time? Full-time.

Are you watching TV right now?  Nope. I was watching on YouTube earlier, but I decided to focus on this.

Or are you listening to music? No. It’s silent here in the living room, just the way I want it to currently be.

Would you go to jail for 3 years for $1,000,000? I don’t think that’s enough money for a dare that big.

When's your birthday?  April 21st.

Thoughts on kids?  I’m a lot less idealistic about them now. I used to want kids with my only formula being “I’ll do the exact opposite of what my mom did with me.” but I realized it’s so much more complicated than that. Raising a kid/kids is a whole damn job in itself and I see that with how my cousins of the same age, but from different families, have been acting. My cousins from one family are really spoiled and entitled, and I can’t last in a room with them for more than a minute; but my cousins in another family are so ridiculously well-behaved I can’t even start to fathom how respectful and kind they are. That observation has scared me away from kids in the meantime, because I still have to figure out how to not fuck such a responsibility up.

Worst punishment you've ever received by your parents?  The worst thing they ever did was take away my laptop privileges for an indefinite period when I was 11, when they caught me being a dumbass on social media and cursing all over the place. It’s a reasonable punishment per se, but that was also a time when the internet was starting to become a resource and requirement for homework and school projects; so my parents didn’t know how many things I failed to submit because they didn’t allow me on the internet.

Are you the type who is completely against abortion? I am pro-choice and pro-pregnant people should be allowed to make decisions about their own bodies. I don’t like the idea of abortion, but I’ve always believed people should have access to resources to learn more about it, to a healthy culture that embraces it as an option, and to actual facilities that will enable them to receive one if the need be.

Have you ever read a book that actually changed your outlook on life? No, I don’t think so. Not yet at least.

Does your favorite flower hold any meaning to you? Peonies don’t mean anything in particular. I just think they look pretty.

What would you do if your favorite animal became endangered?  I can’t imagine dogs ever getting endangered, but hypothetically I’d be crushed. I’d do the same thing I would do with other endangered animals, which is to spread the word about their situation and what can be done to save them from getting even fewer in number.

Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette?  No. I never cared for makeup. I’m turning 23 and still don’t feel the need to invest in it...should I be worried?

Do you own a tripod for your camera? We used to, but I have not seen it in a long time.

Are your nails always painted?  They never are.

What's one thing you've had a toxic reaction to? A breakup. < This was true for me too, at least for a time. Another one would be the barbecue that my uncle bought for a family gathering once that was definitely contaminated with something...shit gave me food poisoning at 3 AM and made me think my half-naked self was going to die right then and there in the bathroom.

Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for?  We only ever decorate for Christmas, so I guess it wins by default.

Were you popular in school? By the second half of high school I was hanging out with the popular groups and getting invited to popular kid things, but I never wanted to claim to be popular myself. I still liked letting my friends take the spotlight.

Are there any foods that often give you heartburn or indigestion?  Is there something you intend to buy in the near future?  Is anyone in your family artistically talented? What about musically? What cute behaviors or characteristics does/do your pet(s) have?  What's the screensaver on your computer?  Crossing these out as I believe this survey is a shuffle of questions from many different surveys...? and I have already answered these five in a past survey I recently finished.

What’s the sexiest thing about a guy? I don’t really care for guys, I think... I still haven’t made up my mind about them yet, but all I know is I definitely have not felt seriously attracted to any irl man my whole life.

What’s the sexiest thing about a girl?  THIGHS

Who were you with at midnight on January 1, 2021?  Who was the last person to send you a message on social media?  ^ What qualities does this person have, that you appreciate? What was the last thing that caused you to scowl, or frown?  Have you smiled at any point during the last hour?  What was the last thing you consulted Google for? So, did anyone send you a "Happy New Year" message when midnight hit? When was the last time you were on a carousel?  What is the closest you have ever been to an elephant? Have you ever played Halo?  Have you ever read a National Geographic magazine?  When was the last time you had a pillow fight?  Name somebody who you think deserves more respect: In your own words, define what the word sexy means.  What is the most popular tourist attraction where you live?  Without looking - do you know what brand your underwear is? Are you any good at volleyball?  Have you ever had a water balloon fight?  Same situation as above. What an interesting order of questions, hehe. Still having fun with this though!

Do you think some babies are ugly?  Newborns are super wrinkly and make the strangest facial expressions from time to time. That won’t stop me from cooing at them, though.

Don’t you miss Chuck E. Cheese? I’ve never been there. Is it like a standard birthday party events place for kids?

Do you think Fall Out Boy is gonna be a classic band, like Queen or AC/DC? In time, maybe. 

Do you love stuff-crusted pizza?  Yessssss.

Do you apply lotion after you bathe? I don’t, but I should probably pick it up as a habit seeing how dry my skin can get.

What’s your favorite color? Pastel pink. < Same!

Who did you have your most amazing kiss with? Gabie.

Has a YouTube video of yours ever gotten over 10,000 views? I’ve never even posted a video on YouTube.

Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? Not my spot of choice, so maybe not.

Do you like Robert Frost poems?  I’m only familiar with one and I’m having a little trouble remembering it rn haha.

Do you go to church every Sunday?  We used to go to church, yeah; back when it was okay to. Our local church has allowed face-to-face masses again (but with very limited attendees) but my mom has preferred for us to stay home, so for the last few months we’ve been watching livestreams of Sunday mass every week.

Have you ever been in a relationship on-and-off for more than a year?  I would say Gab and I were on-and-off, but it went on a lot longer than a year. The total time would amount to six years.

If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Writing. Or modeling, if I could only pull it off.

What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? I seriously don’t care. I skip out on bras all the time because I honestly personally don’t need them, and everyone should be allowed to feel and act the same way.

What is the last thing you tried on in a store? I never do this. Even before Covid, I’ve felt iffy about trying clothes that many others have already put on and were probably not washed 100% well. I’d rather get something, try it on at home, decide if it’s a good fit or not, and then return it ASAP if it ends up being the latter.

Is sleeping naked more comfortable than in clothes?  My mom doesn’t knock so I’ve always been scared to try sleeping naked (and she also throws a fit if she catches me locking my door, which is like - then why did you even buy a doorknob with a lock??), but I definitely see the appeal.

Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone?  Yes for the more part lmao, but I don’t know if I’ve ever made out in a dream.

Do you feel as though you have a good memory, or are you forgetful at times? Do you feel that your short-term memory or long-term memory is better? Have you ever had a concussion or some other sort of brain injury before?  Do you have any sort of mental illnesses or disorders? What do they involve?  What’s the longest that your hair has ever been? How about the shortest? When is the last time that you got it cut? What are some ways that you style your hair? Do you use any sorts of products in it?  Who was the last person to truly get on your nerves? What do you think caused you to feel that way? 

Do you recycle? Is this through choice or do you live somewhere where it’s compulsory? Through choice. Waste management is sadly not much of a priority here, if at all.

Do you prefer plain, carbonated, or flavored water? Do you think you drink enough water throughout the day?  I have never tried the latter two. Water has always been tasteless and plain to me, and I never understood the point of customizing something that’s meant to be tasteless and uncarbonated. There are days where I’m able to have several glasses and other days where I unconsciously skip out on water until dinner.

Have you ever needed to call the police, ambulance, or fire department? Fortunately I’ve never had to call any of these.

When was the last time you visited the library? What was the purpose of your visit? I wasssssss maybe having something printed? If it wasn’t that, I was probably returning a book.

Do you see a lot of wild animals where you live? Are any of them dangerous? None of that here, especially since I live in the city. A sighting of a wild animal outside of a zoo or eco-park would definitely make national news, like that time an ostrich was seen running around a private village many months ago.

Aside from when you were born, have you ever had to stay the night in the hospital? Yep, from a dengue scare that turned out to be just a simple low platelet count.

Have you ever experienced a panic attack?  Yes, but they are extremely rare. The last time I had one was maybe two or three years ago. Unfortunately I think all my panic attacks were caused by and involved my mom.

Would you ever want to go into the medical profession? Was your answer different pre-COVID?  For a time, when I was hating journalism in college, I was daydreaming about the idea of shifting to biology and making the drastic swerve to med school. But I knew a love of memorizing and biology topics won’t be enough for me to be successful in the medical field, so I quickly shot the idea down.

Where you live, are people paying attention to whatever restrictions are in place to help control COVID? Many? People are definitely following and have been obedient with protocol in different places. Some cities are also still strict with maintaining their checkpoints and banning tourists from entering their area just yet. It’s the government that hasn’t really been making the effort to put measures to contain the virus.

Do you get a real or artificial Christmas tree?  Artificial. I don’t know if getting real trees for Christmas trees is a thing here.

What’s your favourite type/flavor of popcorn?  Cheddar cheese.

Do you drink oat milk? Nopes. I’d like to try it just to say that I have (and I might end up loving it too), but I have yet to look up what foods or drinks it works best with.

Do you love thrifting?  Sure, sometimes I get good finds from it.

Do you consider using only lowercase letters your aesthetic?  Sometimes I’ll use it in a Powerpoint or a tweet, but I wouldn’t say it’s an aesthetic that defines me as a person.

Do you say “mood?”  Too much.

Do you own fairy lights?  No. I wanted those before, but I’m not so sure if I still do now.

Do you own glass straws because the metal ones kind of gross you out because you can’t tell if they are clean or not? I don’t own glass straws. Most places have changed their cups into a design that you can sip directly from, anyway.

Have you made a TikTok? No, don’t care.

Do you own airpods?  No, but would like a pair.

Are you afraid of Mercury in retrograde? I really don’t care.

Do you make life choices based on astrology?  No, I don’t believe in it. It scares me how much some people rely on it and use it as an actual moral compass or judgment system. It doesn’t harm anyone so I never actively speak out against astrology, but it scares me nonetheless.

How many pairs of converse shoes do you own?  One pair. I used to own another one, but my mom threw it out several years ago.

Number of jeans in your closet:  I would say like 10-12.

What accent do you have?  Philippine English/Americanized Filipino, I guess.

Do you have a big butt? I’d say it’s decently-sized.

Do you count how long you and your gf/bf have been together? Yeah, before.

Have you graduated?  Both high school and college, yup.

Rihanna or Lady GaGa?  I like Rihanna’s music more, but I love Gaga’s outfits, concepts, and stage presence more. Do you use fake eyelashes?  No. I had to use them twice, but I’d never seek them out on my own.

Which was the last book that really captivated you? It’s been a while since I encountered a book like this.

What makeup brands do you use?  I don’t use makeup.

[shibereshu]

hi! could you do 6 and 7 from the christmas prompts with byeongkwan from ace? thanks so much!

i’m so sorry this took so long!! both of us admins are in uni and just recently started our christmas break but still have a lot of work to do but i’m happy i could finally finish this !! i really hope you like this! also (and this applies for anyone who may read this!) our requests are still open so feel free to request again! the groups we write for are in our bio and here are some prompt lists that can help you come up with a request! thank you so much for requesting !!6.: “It’s snowing!”7.: “You look even more beautiful covered in snow.”

The words from the people walking past you as you made your way to the place where you were supposed to meet Byeongkwan were muffled by the thoughts inside your head. You were going to do some last-minute gift shopping with him for the little secret santa game you had organised in your group of friends. The idea for the game had been his, and after telling you that you would be Sehyoon’s secret santa and you couldn’t come up with many ideas for his gift, he offered to meet with you so that he could help you shop for a present for him and you could help him with his.

When you got to the spot you had agreed to meet up, a fountain decorating the central square of a big shopping centre, you looked around to see if he was there already, but took out your phone to text him when you couldn’t find him in the crowd of friends and couples hanging out in that spot at first glance.

Just as you were going to type in the password to unlock your phone, a notification popped up with a new text from none other than the guy in question. You smiled as his name popped up followed by the message that read “Turn around”. You did as he said and in that exact moment, the fountain that was programmed to alternate between pumping water up and stopping for a few seconds on loop ceased raising the water just in time for you to see Byeongkwan just standing behind it, his phone in his hand that was waving at you and mirroring your soft smile as he looked at you.

He walked towards you and brought you in for a hug once he was in front of you. His embrace was warm in contrast to the cold air surrounding you, and it took you all your effort not to stop him from pulling away. As he did, he moved his hands down your arms and grasped your hands in his, as if he also didn’t want to pull away completely and get away from the warmth of your touch. At that moment where it was only you and him and the seconds of hugging and holding hands felt like they lasted a mere instant, you truly felt the realisation hit you about how this would be the first time you and Byeongkwan would hang out together by yourselves ever since you had realised your feelings for him.

You didn’t let the nervousness overcome you and thanked the cold weather for making the blush on your cheeks go unnoticed as if it was just the effect of the low temperatures, and somehow your hands didn’t shake in the slightest not even as he let go of one of them but still kept holding the other one as he began walking towards the shops.

—”It’s the first time we hang out and you arrive so early.” —Byeongkwan teased, and you quickly defended yourself.

—”I’m always on time! The only times I’ve ever been late were because I had to wait for Chan.” —Byeongkwan chuckled, still not giving up and this time leaving you with nothing to say for longer than you’d have wanted to.

—”I’m not saying you’re usually late, but we were going to meet at 6.30 and it’s not even 6.15 yet.” —

You didn’t even look at him, but from the corner of your eyes you saw he was looking at you, which ruined slightly the composure you had been keeping. What were you supposed to say? You couldn’t just admit you had been thinking so much about seeing him that you got ready early enough to have to wait almost an hour before leaving your house to meet him, and still arrived earlier than you planned. At the lack of an excuse for yourself, you quickly threw the question back at him.

—”What about you? You’re early too.” —Finally, you made eye contact with him again and he chuckled before looking away and to the front.

—”I just really wanted to see you.” —He said naturally. And perhaps because you were suddenly so focused on the red color adorning your cheeks, for a second you wonder if the reddish hue on his was also caused the same kind of feelings making your heart beat faster.

Since when was Byeongkwan so confident? You asked yourself as he changed the topic and you two got into a new conversation without bringing up the previous one again. It was true that you had never seen how he acted around people he liked so you didn’t want to ponder over the possibility of him liking you back. He was someone very affectionate with his friends and you also weren’t new to this kind of flirty comments since one of your friends, Jun, liked to throw them at you once in a while jokingly and sometimes you’d even talk back. But it was different because it was Byeongkwan. It was different because he was the person you liked. It was so different that, after thinking that it could just be something completely platonic, you started scolding yourself in your head for overreacting even if no one other than you had noticed.

You two had walked into an art shop after deciding to look for a present for Sehyoon there. He liked making art and trying new things with it, so Byeongkwan suggested the idea of buying him an art supply that he still didn’t have.

—”What about watercolors?” —You asked him as you stood together in front of an aisle filled with said art supply. All the different colors were organised so perfectly that you wanted to stand there forever. Until you noticed that someone had switched one of the tubes of green watercolor with a blue one -hopefully not on purpose- and you let go of Byeongkwan’s hand to put both tubes back in their place and as if you had just finished a hard task, you smiled proudly and put your hands on your hips.— “Now it’s perfect.” —

Byeongkwan let out a short laugh and reached towards one of the pink tubes, exchanging it for an orange one, and you gasped before reaching to put both things in their spot. After you were done, he did it again, and at one point it almost became a childish fight between the two of you that stopped when Byeongkwan stopped you from grabbing one of the supplies he had moved by reaching for your hands again and holding it tight, making it clear that he wouldn’t let go. As he laced his fingers with yours, you accepted defeat and let your hand fall back to your side, still holding Byeongkwan’s.

—”Let’s buy one of the full palettes over there and some brushes.” —Byeongkwan said, and you nodded and walked away from that aisle with him. You wanted to laugh at yourself for thinking that sure, seeing all the colors organised was perfect, but the feeling of your hand intertwined wth Byeongkwan’s was even more perfect.

You did as he had suggested and after paying, he carried the small bag and walked out of the shop with you, both of you reaching for each other’s hand again almost instinctively after you had to let go to take out your wallet and pay. Once you were out, you glanced at the bag he was holding with your gift for Sehyoon and then at him.

—”I almost feel kind of bad. Because I couldn’t come up with something for Sehyoon myself.” —

Byeongkwan looked at you with curiosity filling his eyes, clearly showing that he didn’t understand why you would feel bad about it. For you, the reason was pretty obvious. Wouldn’t it feel like a gift from Byeongkwan instead of yours? The only thing you had provided with was the money for it. When you told him that, his view on it didn’t seem to change.

—”So? It is a gift that you bought for him and that you want to give to him. You wanted to give him something and I just helped by giving you an idea. The gift is yours and you’re the one who got it for him.” —He paused for a second, and then continued.— “Besides, I live with him and he’s my best friend. That’s why the idea came so easy to me.” —

You nodded, your thoughts drifting away from the topic again after his words. Sehyoon was his bestfriend, and he was Sehyoon’s. Even though your group of friends was already very close, they were so close you were almost jealous of it and wished to have a friendship as strong and true as theirs. Without even realising, you wondered out loud.

—”What about me?” —You asked, and stopped dead in your tracks after the words came of your mouth and realised what you had said. The question was so ambiguous that Byeongkwan’s gaze was filled with confusion again at your words, but somehow you felt that he probably knew exactly what you meant but just wanted to make sure as he threw another question at you.

—”You?” —

Deciding that it would be even more awkward to fix your mistake with a stupid excuse or ignoring it, you decided to be honest.

—”Am I your best friend too?” —In your mind, once again you scolded yourself, this time feeling selfish for wishing that he wouldn’t say yes. Because you were already close friends, and you didn’t want just that anymore. You didn’t want to be the only person whose heart was suddenly overwhelmed and drowning in those uncontrollable feelings.

—”Of course.” —He said, and you stayed silent, your gaze still locked with his.

Slowly, the accelerated heartbeat went back to its usual pace and you let out the breath you were holding in through your nose.

Time seemed to have stopped until small snowflakes started slowly falling from the sky. Slowly like how you let go of his hand but kept that hand up with the palm facing up to see one of those snowflakes fall on it and just as slowly, disappear.

—”It’s… It’s snowing!” —You exclaimed. The first snow of the year came rather late, and you had mixed feelings after it didn’t meet the expectations you had for how it would feel to experience the first snow with the person you loved.

The snow started falling more rapidly and not really melting anymore when it landed, and as Byeongkwan grabbed your hand again just as a bigger snowflake was about to fall on it, your heart started beating slightly more rapidly too.

—”You look even more beautiful covered in snow.” —His words were spoken softly, to the point where they were kind of muffled by the louder ones coming from kids around you two who were overjoyed by the snow. Still, you heard them.

And although it still wasn’t enough to make sure that he said it in a way that wasn’t completely platonic, you couldn’t help but smile and giggle shily before mustering up the courage to compliment him back.

—”I could say the same about you.” —You responded, and he let out a happy chuckle too. He took a step closer towards you as his hand that wasn’t holding yours went up to cup your cheek. As if he had read your mind before, he spoke again.

—”You’re my best friend, too. But just that isn’t enough anymore.” —

Feeling too shy to keep the eye contact, you looked down, but his hand on your cheek moved to your chin and lifted your head again, forcing you to look at him and making the blush on your cheeks intensify as you saw his face even closer to yours.

Not like he had just read your mind, but more like he held in his heart the same feelings as you did, the two of you spoke up again.

—”I like you.” —

[whnvr]

Brain Drain

Ah yes, hello. It is once again time to drain these brains of mine. A couple of more thoughts on this ‘Morning Pages’ process. Firstly, I’ve decided to take the Artist’s Way wording to heart and think of this as a non-negotiable exercise and, at least for the time being, I am going to do the full 1500 words as a block before I move onto anything else in my day. I’m still going to take the approach of retroactively editing them before I sleep in order to be more formatted, but the main body of text will be done first as, based on yesterday, I think this will focus me far more than spreading the writing out. Secondly, the more I think about it the more experimental I realise this entire process is for me. It’s probably best thought of as a heavily modified and specified version of the ‘Artist’s Way’ approach, as one of the stipulations offered up by Julia Cameron is that these are to be for your eyes and your eyes alone - even then going so far as to suggest that these should be sealed away in an envelope so that even the practitioner does not read them. So in that sense I am both taking a more documentative, methodical approach to the process and I am altering the formula by hosting these in a public forum. I understand that privacy helps to remove any filtering one may do but I also believe that the potential for these to be read comes with its own benefits. To that end this feels like an experiment of being creatively candid in public which is simulatenously exciting and daunting given that it runs so counter to the common approach of creating behind closed doors. I’d love to explore these ideas further as this journal progresses and see how my relationship with creativity changes due to these factors. So, I guess I’ll start by taking the measure of my day, as I am very much enjoying the ‘touching base’ element of these Morning Pages. I definitely feel a lot more blocked than I did yesterday, and it seems as though there’s somewhat of a hump to get over when I do these within the first 500 words or so before I get into a state of flow with it - this was true of yesterday also. Maybe that is one of the possible benefits of this exercise, that 'ramping-up-to-flow’ stage is one I likely experience whenever I sit down to create and the Brain Drain may be a way of me overcoming that before I come to do any of the actual creative work of my day. It seems as though forcing myself to do all 1500 words yesterday put me into the same sort of flow-state I gain from working on a really successful piece of music, and then today I am once again reset back into that familiar place of being 'blocked’, which even now I am slowly working through and unpicking purely by writing these words. Looking back on previous creative work this would seem to make an awful lot of sense. How much more demotivating it is to have to wake up and untease the same blocked feeling each morning on projects that I care deeply about and am heavily invested in than it is to instead get that part of the process out of the way on an off the cuff exercise like Brain Drain each morning. Maybe attempting to ease such a block through the work we care about is where all feelings of 'I’ve lost it’ and 'this project is hard now. Therefore how much better it must be to work through those blocks in a format that we’re not quite so invested in. Even right now there is a part of me that is very much resisting this process. It is an anxiety that masks itself as restlessness and tells me to 'go and watch a film, Aaron. Why put yourself through something so hard?’. As it is the creative enemy I have decided to call this my personal Antagonizer. Other thoughts of the Antagonizer, or the 'me’ that feels uncomfortable and uncreative: - 'Go and make a milkshake Aaron. Don’t do this. It’s 30 degrees outside today. You really need to just cool down.’ - 'Get up and walk around. You really need to release some of this tension that you’re feeling.’ - 'Go and talk to a family member. Telling them about what you want to write would be much easier than simply writing it’. That’s right Antagonizer, I WILL use your criticism in order to help me hit this wordcount. Checkmate. Yesterday has taught me that past this feeling is where enjoyment and flow lie if I can only push through it. I imagine some days will be significantly harder than others, and I imagine that I will even have days where 1500 words won’t begin to scratch the surface of this block, but I would so much rather try to push through this block writing whatever comes to mind over-and-above pushing through this block attempting to create whatever passes for a masterpiece in my world. On to next steps then. I would like to select a new artist to listen to today as I get on with other work. This would also be a good opportunity to show off a little of how I organise my inspiration, despite how embarrassingly over-elaborate it is.

On Spotify I keep a folder of artists who I’m either interest in, inspired by, are important pieces of musical history, examples of current artists who are doing what they do incredibly successfully, or artists that I feel would be generally useful to experience. For each artist, I will create a playlist, and in each playlist, I will save that artist’s entire discography chronologically. I will then slowly work my way through each of the artist’s discographies, deleting what I’ve listened to and categorising songs that jump out to me either in terms of whether I love, like, or dislike them, the emotional qualities that I want to emulate in my own music, or the technical qualities that stand out as exemplary within each song. This allows me to simultaneously build a picture of what my musical tastes are, keep an accurate record of my listening history, and create song palettes for different emotional qualities that I wish to put into my own work.

(Above: the technical qualities of music that I have categorised. This forms up a reference library that I can use to further refine these qualities when I’m working on my own music)Here are the criteria I use to define each of these categories. Idea: the concept behind a piece. Narrative: the story told. Lyrics: how ideas are expressed through words. Mood: the emotionality of a piece. Expression: how ideas are framed and delivered through the articulation of the music. Musicality: the use of harmony, rhythm, and theory to communicate those ideas. Rhythm: the measure, speed, flow, and cadence of a piece. Timbre: the overall texture, tone, and sonic palette of a piece. Structure: the flow of a piece over time. Mix: how the timbre has been arranged as an ensemble. Master: how the piece has been polished. Delivery: the title, artwork, context, presentation, and moving image that contain the piece.

(Above: the emotional qualities of music that I have categorised as a reference library for how artists that I look up to achieve specific emotional qualities in their work). These are decidedly more abstract and are generally more subject to the songs themselves that are being added. For reference, here’s the current list of artists who’s work I want to study, all at various stages of listened to, completed, or not listened to at all: - Labelle - Car Seat Headrest - Snail Mail - Japanese Breakfast - Let’s Eat Grandma - Soccer Mommy - LCD Soundsystem - Big Thief - Have a Nice Life - Beebadoobee - Animanaguchi - 100gecs - Courtney Barnett - Chromonicci - Owsey - Dark Cat - Valentine - SOPHIE - Kamasi Washington - Prince - Aurora - Massive Attack - Haywyre - Maths Time Joy - Counting Crows - Jack Strauber - Blossom Calderone - Goldfrapp - Janelle Monae - Meteorologist - Easyfun - Saint Lewis - Julian Gray - Jade Cicada - Blake Skowron - 92Elm - Maxime - Stereo Cube - Chuck Sutton - Gemi - Queen - Laxcity - Duumu - Oh Wonder - Galamatias - Umru - Underscores - Brockhampton - Fleece - i Monster - Deaton Chris Anthony - Amy Winehouse - The Beatles - Sumthin Sumthin - Radiohead - Flume - Knapsack - Dodie Here are the artists who’s discographies I have completed via this approach: - Sidney Gish - M.I.A - In Love With a Ghost - Bowie - Pink Floyd - Baird - Rudimental - Iglooghost - Madeon - Porter Robinson - 100gecs I use a similar system alongside this over on Pinterest for visual work in order to better inform my visual style and aesthetic sensibilities. Here is how I define my visual observation: Interior & Exterior, the space of dwelling.

Colour, of which idiosyncrasy and primary colours are a main focus.

Tone, subtler than colour. An intangible quality communicated by shifting hues and gradiated layers.

Mood, the way an image feels.

Looks, clothes, & apparel: personal artistic image and identity.

Desolation, a quality not currently present in my own work, but one that I often observe and love within other work, as well as in storytelling and other environments.

Layout, the way things are arranged in relation to one another within a space.

Idea, the concept behind a thing.

Texture, the tactile quality of visual elements.

Form, the shape and bounds of a thing.

Presentation, the context a thing is placed within.

Render, the quality imparted by computer generated imagery.

Type, how words are displayed.

Pattern, the use of repetition.

As you can see, how I define sound and visual art share a fairly common language between them. Anyway, I divert. I’m going to select SOPHIE as the next discography to tear through and I am also going to continue working through the UE4 Beginner learning path, though before either of these I have some university paperwork/admin stuff to finish so I’d best crack on with that. Toodles!

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Two Hundred Sixty: Later in the Year ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

Though Hinata would probably call Spring or Summer her favorite season - given the pleasant weather and the bountiful flowers she loves so much - she will admit that Autumn has a certain kind of...charm to it. The slow descent in temperatures from the scorch of Summer is refreshing in its own way. Of course, it also means kids returning to school, so not everyone is happy about the arrival of Fall. But overall...she finds plenty to like about it.

The shifting colors of the foliage are always beautiful. Though Hinata might prefer cooler colors when it comes to things like her wardrobe, or her workspace, there’s something so...cozy about the palette later in the year. It’s a sign the months are dipping back toward the sleep of Winter: harvest is over, the reaped rewards of a long Summer of work gathered up and stored away for the snowy months. It’s a time to celebrate a successful waxing of the seasons to their peak, and to prepare for the waning back into the cold.

Even the air seems to carry a certain...tinge to it. The smell of damp, fallen leaves...the plethora of baked goods and their spices as people look for warmer treats to ward away the chill. The breeze might have a slight nip to it, but that just means shifting to the thicker parts of her closet. Sweaters (and sweater dresses), leggings, boots, hats, scarves...all sorts of cute things to wear!

Yes, Autumn has its charm. Which is why - as Hinata lurks in her favorite haunt, a little coffee shop and bakery hybrid - she holds her cup of coffee in hands grateful for the heat, watching the season sweep through her little city with a soft smile. She’s spent the entire day up until this little break taking photographs of the shifting atmosphere. While she has a day job at a craft store chain, her real passion is photography...which she indulges in on her blog. She always sees a swell of traffic this time of year as others enjoy the season.

One would think her easily tired of it, given that her place of employment has been swamped with Fall decorations and themed wares for weeks before Summer was anywhere close to over. In fact, Autumn has scarcely begun, and she’s already seeing their Winter wares being put up on display. It’s a little disappointing how...overlooked it is between the hype that is Summer, and the end of the year. Beyond pumpkin spiced...everything, there isn’t much regard given to the season before it slips into Winter.

But, now is hardly the time to mull that over. She’s going to warm up, and then make the trek back to her apartment to get started on this week’s blog post. Already her mind slips into a daydream-like state, picturing the layout and how best to arrange her favorite shots.

Her thoughts are interrupted, however, as the door chimes nearby, her seat only a few feet from it along the large window that overlooks the sidewalk. Blinking, she turns to give the newcomer a glance, shy but curious.

She has to do a double take.

Is...is that…?

Her staring thankfully goes unnoticed, the figure too focused on reaching the counter and perusing the menu. Pale eyes try to see his face from this angle, not quite sure he is who she thinks he is. The woman behind the register greets him pleasantly, putting together his order with a hint of smalltalk she can’t hear from this distance. His body language is rather lax, a hip cocked with hands in his jacket pockets. Dark hair brushes the tops of his shoulders, the top half drawn up in a tail behind his head.

Once he gets his drink and snack, he turns to look for a place to sit, and she all but confirms it. That’s Sasuke! Sasuke Uchiha! She hasn’t seen him in...gosh, years. They went to school together nearly all twelve years, except for a stint while he moved away. But he’d returned before graduation, and then just...disappeared. No one had really heard from him after that, not even Naruto. He fell off the map, moved out of the city, and ghosted everyone.

What is he doing here?

Averting her gaze just enough to be subtle, Hinata watches him out of the corner of her eyes. It’s so...strange. He looks quite a bit different. He’d always been a rather lean, almost skinny kid in school, but...he’s bulked up ever so slightly. Still far from someone like Naruto’s build, but no longer a beanpole, either. His hair was never that long in school, always shorter in the back and untamed. His style had been rather...alternative back then, but now he’s just dressed in dark-wash jeans, a t-shirt, and a jacket. Seems he’s mellowed out quite a bit.

Curiosity is eating at her. She wants to know where he’s been, and why! But perhaps more importantly, the reason behind his return. No one’s said anything about hearing from him or seeing him, so...clearly he hasn’t contacted anyone. At least not according to anything she’s seen on Facebook. Surely by now, Naruto would have thrown a huge fit all over the site if he knew.

But...she very rarely spoke to Sasuke back then. He’d been so...withdrawn. And while he appears far more laid back now, she’s not sure it would be wise to just...go say hello. He might not want to be seen. But...well...he is in a public place.

...maybe she can get a photo of him.

Digging out her camera, she makes a show of perusing through her memory card, turning to sit sideways in her chair. He’s technically facing the same direction as her table, further back from the window, eyes glued to a phone he scrolls through while sipping his drink. Then carefully, ever so carefully, she starts angling her lens, trying to find him through the screen view. Almost...there…

Like magnets, his dark eyes whip to her lens, startling her so badly as he stares right at her that she jumps. Fumbling not to drop her (rather expensive) hobby device, she feels heat bloom quickly through her face.

He perks a brow at her, stopped mid-chew through a bite of his snack. But after a moment to consider her, recognition bleeds through his confusion.

“...Hinata?”

“I, uh...y-yes?” Caught red-handed and not having the gall to try to fib, she shrinks in her chair, clinging to her camera. “Er...Sasuke, right?”

“Yeah.”

Well, she’s already embarrassed herself this much...might as well go all-out. “What - w-what are you...doing here?”

“Getting some coffee. Same as you, looks like.”

“I - no, I mean...here. In town. No one has seen you in...in ages! You just sort of...disappeared.”

Clearing his teeth behind his lips, Sasuke adjusts his posture a bit. “Took some time to travel. Wanted to get away from it all for a while. Hopped around a few cities, took odd jobs...but thought I’d come back now that it all sort of lost its spark. Didn’t think I’d run into someone I knew so quickly, though.”

Someone he...knew? But...they hadn’t exactly been friends… “I see! Well, it - it’s nice to see you. So...you’re here to...stay?”

“I think so. Still planning things out. Been mostly winging it for the past few years, so...I have to get used to it again. Working on finding a place and a job. Thought I’d lie low and get that figured out before letting anyone know I was back…”

“Oh, I-I won’t tell anyone!”

“Thanks. But...weren’t you trying to take my picture?”

Jolting, her blush returns full force. “I was just, um...I-I wasn’t sure if it was really...you! You look...different.”

“Yeah? You too. No more baggy clothes and curtain hair, huh?”

Hinata blinks. He...remembers that? “N...no. Not so much, at least. I...well, I guess change is h-hard to avoid. Even if you don’t notice it over time. Must be, um...easier for you to notice, since...since you’ve been gone.” Clearly still nervous, she smiles sheepishly, gesturing to the window. “You...you picked a great time to come back! The weather’s been very...very nice. And the Autumn colors are at their peak. That’s what I have the c-camera for. Was out...taking pictures.” And not just looking like a creep sneaking photos of people… she thinks to herself, wilting.

“Photography, huh? Neat hobby. Get any good shots?”

This seems so...strange. To just be...talking to him. They’d been in completely different circles in high school. Now that sort of cliquey nonsense seems so...childish. But still...they’re practically strangers beyond a few overlapping acquaintances. “I...I think so. I need to go...through them. And get them posted. I...I run a little blog, it - it’s nothing fancy. Just...well, just a hobby.”

Sasuke nods. “Hobbies are good. Keep you sane through the other life crap you gotta put up with. I’d like to see it.”

“You -? It...it’s not that -”

“You were always one of those quiet ones in school. That means you know how to observe. Bet you take great photos.”

The compliment catches her off-guard. “...I…? Well, I...I try.”

“What’s the site?”

Pink in embarrassment, Hinata just...writes it on a napkin, handing it over. “Don’t, um...don’t have too high of expectations. I’m still...I’m still learning. A-about a lot of how it all, um...works.”

He waves a hand. “Maybe I oughta make one. Took a lot of photos while I traveled.”

Hinata can’t help a small perk. “Oh, you...you should! I’d love to see them!”

“...I’ll look into it. Maybe yours’ll give me some inspiration.”

She blinks, still rosy.

“Well...I gotta get going. Lot to do tomorrow,” he then announces, rising from his seat. “Nice seeing you, Hinata. Maybe I’ll bump into you again.”

“I-I bet you will. I’m here a lot, so…” She trails off, unsure what else to say. As he offers a farewell, she waves, still not quite...grasping their entire exchange. It felt so alien. Now that he’s gone, she’s not even sure it really happened.

But, either way, she remains true to her word, deciding not to mention the sighting to anyone. Sounds like he’ll be busy enough as it is without anyone pestering him. Looking into her empty coffee cup, Hinata thinks for a moment longer before packing up her things.

...she’s got a blog post to work on.

                                                             .oOo.

     Tired @~@ But I like this one pretty well. I'm a HUGE fan of Autumn myself, so getting to add it to the background of a drabble is nice~ Otherwise...not too much to say about this one. Just a chance encounter between two prior acquaintances. Might continue it at some point. Honestly there's so many of these that could use part twos or full fics...I can't keep track anymore xD But we'll see~      Anywho, I need to get some sleep - I'm still a day behind here, and tomorrow's gonna be another very busy day. The next two weeks or so (at least) are still gonna be very...eventful, so I can't make any promises about catching up. But I'll try, at least, not to fall any further behind lol - anyway, thanks for reading!

[pixelrender]

Top 10 upcoming games

Another year is nearing its end. It frightens me, but looking back, many things has changed between now and when I was writing this list last year. It’s time for another update. There are 10 games on this list (8 of them new) and there are many other upcoming releases I’ve been keeping a track of, but most of them aren’t as important as the first two. Only the last act of Kentucky Route Zero and unity’s latest RPG Maker epic are games I can’t imagine sitting out or stopped being hyped about. 2020 ought to see both of them released and I will be afk for months only playing them at the end of the year. I think many other changes await me and I might not be back for another round next December.

There quite a few interesting upcoming games I couldn’t or didn’t want to fit on the list. They get their spotlight in individual posts just to show you how pretty some of them are.

10. Renaine

Maybe I should just play Shovel Knight or Celeste, because Renaine probably targets the same audience and I would like to play both of the eventually (on Switch ofc), but there’s something I really like about the upcoming game. Firstly, there’s barely any hype surrounding it. Secondly, it looks retro but in a original way with its architecture being overfilled with various pipes and other mechanical details. It’s fantasy with industrial tones but these feel more related to it being a computer game than its setting. Te color palette is so vibrant, it always warms my heart looking at the game’s screenshots.

9. the machine that BREATHES

I’m not a big fan of horror games and this probably wouldn’t make the cut for this list if it weren’t a shweep’s creation. the machine that BREATHES probably is his best looking game up to date and promising a serious experience inspired by Radio The Universe among others. It’s a smaller project, so it’s also interesting to follow for its scope and frequent updates, which can provide interesting takes on individual decisions. Read this one to explore the world of retro gaming resolutions.

8. Lunark

I can’t express enough how much I enjoy the look and feel of this game without sharing some of it again. Cinematic platformers are a niche genre, which is niche, because it’s not ver good. The few examples the genre has all look great and I love them for it, but they’re also usually terrible to control. I guess this one’s more about the hype and screenshots too. It looks like a forerunner for the next PICO machine with it’s great use of pink and bright green. The pixel art is lo-rez yet the quality of it far surpasses most true sixteen bit retro games. And the setting? It’s Prey 2, isn’t it?

7. Welcome to Elk

Putting most games next to Lunark feels weird. In case of Welcome to Elk, it’s because their visual styles clash. They’re both good but there’s a huge gap between old school pixel art and classic illustration combined with other techniques. This game hits me like a rock with its combination of charming graphics, which make characters likable without knowing them and melancholic storytelling, which is based on true stories. I wonder how this combo will work out and I’m definitely on board with whatever the result is.

6. Exile’s Journey

This one’s getting released really early in 2020, on 1st January. I’m hyped about it because it’s a master class in mapping and probably the most atmospheric RPG Maker game I have seen since Paradise Blue. In terms of gameplay or story I don’t expect much, but I can already see myself drooling over its maps and beautiful vistas.

5. Signs of the Soujourner

I wouldn’t expect this one to stick. But reading a mention here and there and watching the great trailer multiple times (Echodog managed to keep it short and sweet) hooked me up and now I’m excited for a card game about chatting. That said the world somewhere between Pokemon and tramp America attracts me too. It’s the combination of juicy mechanics, immediately captivating environments, mysterious characters and wonderful chill tunes what puts this one on my shortlist of games to play in 2021. 

4. Unto the End

I don’t really care about combat, what I dig is the atmosphere. Some six or seven games or on this list because they either look or move or sound great. Unto the End does the former two excellently and even in its screenshots and trailer it managed to capture me and transport me in its dark world. Despite it not being a metroidvania, it’s this high on my list.

3. Samurai Gunn 2

Yes, this is mandatory. I get my pants wet every time I see a screenshot. I love the swag of Doesone and Beau Blyth. I love the theme it reminds me of Wu-Tang and The Man with Iron Fists in particular. There’s nowhere to hurry with this one and I can’t wait to try it out on my future switch one day. There should be a singleplayer story to play through and that makes me very happy as local multiplayer is difficult to organize for me. The problem is I usually prefer to talk with my friends when I see them

2. Weird and Unfortunate Things are Happening

Over the years, this has become a super expected project, a labour of love full of great dialogues and characters with battles, which are fun. I expect so much from unity on this one and I know that she’s capable of delivering it. For those who tripped over this post by an accident, Weird and Unfortunate Things are Happening is a free RPG Maker game about saving one town from hands of otherworldly creatures. You play as Alicia and Miriam and let me tell you, there’s something in the air between the two. I just love it and can’t wait for the full release.

1. Kentucky Route Zero: Act V

I could cop paste the last year’s comment. Not much has changed. I don’t know anything new about it and it still is one of my favourite games of all times. I’m really looking forward to the conclusion of it and because it will have been so long since playing Act IV, I probably will close myself at my room for a weekend and play all five parts, when Act V gets released.

[mysticsparklewings]

Mon Cher

Oh look, more painting stuff! :D After resisting the urge to break into them for over a week because I had other projects to work on, I finally broke into the 60 set of Arteza watercolors that I'd ordered, and after swatching and a little testing, this was where I went with them. But I'm not going to focus on a review/first impressions of the paints here, as I want the focus to be more on the piece itself since I'm really happy with how it turned out. (If you're more interested in my thoughts on those paints, I'll link to the piece I have coming up that I made more specifically to talk about those as soon as it's up.) This piece was also inspired largely by Leonidafremov, one of my favorite artists here on deviantArt who passed away recently, which is a large part of which I ventured further outside my comfort zone to make it. I may make another piece inspired by/dedicated to him at a later date now that I'm dipping my toes into acrylics, but I'm not sure yet. As for the here and now; I went with the Effiel Tower as my main subject of choice partly because of the reason above, and also partly because I have dreams of visiting Paris someday and thus it has become a sort of default artistic subject for me. After browsing through Pinterest for a bit for some extra inspiration, I couldn't decide between doing a more dreamy, sakura-tree surrounded tower, or a more "realistic" cityscape surrounding, and in the end I more or less combined the two with the trees poking in on the left and the city poking in on the right. Once I had a plan, I did a little practicing sketching and painting to think about how I wanted to paint and shade the tower as well as how much thought/sketching needed to go into this before I brought the paint to the paper. Thanks to that, I did end up doing some light sketching for the tower, the tree branches, and the outlines of the city buildings, but I tried not to be too fussy about it--no rulers allowed!--since I didn't want to spend super long on the sketch and really wanted to be a little looser in my watercolor technique overall. My main concern was that I didn't want the tower to look like it was drunk and/or you were looking at it through a kaleidoscope, and I think I managed to accomplish that, even if it is a little off in some places. I was also working with a limited color palette because I fell in love with the six colors I used when I saw them all lined up in my swatches, and I did have white and black on my palette just in case, but I didn't touch the black at all and I was pretty sparing with the white. (Which is a highly unusual thing for me to say.) I had a really pastel yellow, a peachy pink, a muted lavender, a darker true blue, a dull teal-ish blue, and a very pale pastel blue. Since I'm very often a stickler for color matching or using a more realistic palette, it was fun to experiment with something more centered around a particular palette that gives a much different look for more realistic/natural color choices. I started by going in with the yellow on the tower, as I'd decided in my planning I wanted to go with a light-to-dark side shading on the tower, starting with the yellow and transitioning across the colors into the blue, using the pink to make a prettier transition. Using the dark blue was the trickiest part since I didn't want it to spread too far and start making green with the yellow, but I did want it to be noticeably present and not blended out to a pastel blue and/or purple. Especially since I had plans to bring the blue up in the background later. I also tried to keep the shading simple but still sensical, meaning I tried to shade the little ledges and stuff properly, but again I tried not to be too fussy about it. While the tower was drying, I moved on to the trees. I start by dabbing on the pink that I had unaltered and without much water so that the paint would be more opaque, then I added some water to pale it out and let the petals "bloom" and float a little, and then I started adding on layers in the same way with a lighter pink I made by mixing in the white, some white the yellow, and some with the purple and a little bit with the blue that ended up getting mostly covered by the branches later.  My goal was to add a little more depth & dimension but still keep it pretty abstract. Then while that was drying, I moved on to using varying amounts of water to create the buildings on the right, and I did mix in a little purple and pink just to "blend" the buildings into the rest of the painting a little better. This was a bit of an exercise in patience and experimentation as far as that goes because I have had minor struggles with that in the past, but I think it worked out as well as I needed it to here. And I did end up adding a couple of extra buildings beneath the tower that I hadn't sketched in because I felt like the colors were a little off balance and I wanted to try and remedy that. With the buildings filled in to my satisfaction, I went back to the now-dry trees and took the teal-ish blue I hadn't used yet and started lining the branches. And again, I tried my best not to be too fussy or particular about them, especially since once I added the petals most of my sketched-in lines disappeared because they were hiding behind the paint.   By that point, the buildings were dry enough that I was able to go in and do the lines of the tower (as you can see some of the buildings are basically touching parts of the tower), and at first I wasn't sure if I was just going to do the more noticeable/necessary outlines and leave the bulk of the tower with just the sketch lines, but as I went it became kind of a no-brainer to me that, as trying of my patience as it would be, I needed to go over pretty much all of the lines to "complete" the tower look. And I do like the emphasis the outlines place on the colors/shading of the tower, especially since it's lighter than the darkest blue, so in person, you almost expect there to be some sort of shimmer when you move the paper. It's a pretty interesting effect if you ask me. After all of that, I waited what felt like ages for everything to be dry so I could go in and add a light wash of color for the background. (Which admittedly in hindsight I should have done first before I did anything else with the paint, but I didn't think about it until it was too late.) And I did try to get a transition from just a hint of the yellow to a hint of the pink to a hint of the purple, while still blending the edges of the colors against the trees, tower, and buildings as best I could without disturbing the paint that was already there. I had to do a couple of layers to try and build up the color I wanted, and on the scan, it still looks too pale (though in person it is paler than I was going for, it's just enough that it works to my eyeballs), and unfortunately despite my best efforts I did end up with a few pretty obvious water lines/spots from that. Though on the scanned version they're less noticeable. I think. Then while my faux-background was drying, I went back to the buildings and layered on some spots to indicate windows and on the slanted one, what I imagine to be a kind of giant glass-terrace for very fancy upper-class soirées. And admittedly my windows aren't terribly nice in share and aren't as opaque as maybe they should be, but since I was going for loose, I'm not going to count that too hard against myself. Finally, that upper right corner felt very empty compared to the rest of the drawing, and though I debated on it at first, I ended up adding a moon and very few small stars just to give it a little something and round out the painting a little. And of course I had to add my signature, but I'm trying not to look at/think about it because that pink gel pen came out way more pinky than I expected it to.   Overall, I know there are a lot of mistakes and learning hiccups here, but I really am happy with how it turned out in the end and I really had a lot of fun getting lost in the artistic process with this one. At one point, I looked and the time was 2 am, and then I looked up again at it was 4 am! Two hours had passed in what felt like maybe thirty minutes. And despite its flaws, this is one of those pieces that has boosted my confidence in working with the medium used to create it, and so I say the experience was very much worth it, and thus I am looking forward to trying more larger watercolor pieces like this going forward.  (I am especially eager to try a larger one on canvas, between this and my experiment with watercolors on canvas I did a while ago, so maybe look forward to that in the future?) ____ Artwork © me, MysticSparkleWings ____ Where to find me & my artwork: My Website | Commission Info + Prices | Ko-Fi | dA Print Shop | RedBubble |   Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram

[sky-girls]

Your Colors Burn so Bright

I don’t know what this is, you don’t know what this is, no one knows what this is. I just know it’s the same universe as this one. Also nice reminder I don’t know shit about art.

“Please.” Matteo says, for what feels like the ten thousandth time already. “Come on Luna, please.”

“No.” She says firmly.

“Why not?” He asks with a pout and Luna turns to him with a sigh, they are on his bed, she is spending the night at his place, she has been doing it a lot lately, so much most of the time she doesn’t even need to go home to pick up her own stuff, her books are here, her clothes are here, she has a toothbrush here, Matteo has started to buy her sugar filled cereals and her favorite fruits.

She likes this so much. She is almost thinking of always being here, if that was in any way possible.

Matteo is facing her too, his eyes full of pleading, his hair is messy, still wet from the shower they just took, he has stopped drawing so this is a very serious topic, he must really want this.

“Because it’s weird.” She exclaims. “I won’t feel comfortable.”

“Why?” He asks. “I always draw you.”

“But I never know that you are doing it.” She retort and a small smile tugs at his lips as he rolls his eyes.

“It’s not that different.” He tells her, he is giving her the puppy eyes, though maybe kitten eyes would be more fitting, and she knows deep down that she will end up doing it.How could she say no to him when he is being like this. “It’s a study in color, Luna, you know you are the only thing I am one hundred percent comfortable drawing in color.”

“You should broaden your horizons.” She tells him.

“This is really important.” He says with a sigh. “And a very important part of my final grade in this class, baby, please.”

“But I have to pose.” She whines a little. “That’s so boring and uncomfy.”

“I will make it more interesting for you.” He says leaning closer to her, his breath tickling her lips and making her shiver. She still rolls her eyes at his innuendo, she has to even if  he makes her stomach twist with want yet again.

“Will you?” She asks shaking her head slightly, he licks his lips and her eyes instantly go to them.

“Of course, I will.” He says caressing her cheek.

“And how will you do such thing?” She asks with a sigh as his hand slowly moves down her neck and heat spread to her body.

“So this means you will do it?” He asks, playing with the collar of his shirt on her.

“This means I am considering it.” She sighs and just now that his hand has slided under the covers and fond his way to her thigh she has realized that he put his notebook away. She is really doing this.

“How can I convince you, my love?” He asks in a deep voice so close his lips brush against her when he says it.

“I am sure you will find a way.” She tells him and pulls him closer into a deep kiss.

⭐

“So how are we doing this?” She asks, they are in his studio, the room in his apartment that has the best lighting and is filled with empty and full canvases, there’s some type of pencil, of paint brushes, paint tubes everywhere.

She had always imagined an artist’s studio being cluttered, messy, filled to the brim with the chaos of creativity but Matteo’s is incredibly organized, every little thing has its place and order. And not surprisingly it’s extremely monochromatic, there are some splashes of colors, some paints, some pencils, some canvases, each and every one of those has her face. Things are a little off since he has moved the couch that he usually keeps next to the wall she usually hangs out in when he is painting to the middle of the room.

He is busy arranging paints, pencils, he keeps sending looks at her and taking up some more before neatly putting them on the table next to him.

“So I have to do three pieces.” He tells her and she scrunches up her nose slightly, he chuckles and pokes it softly making her giggle. “And I have to inspire myself on a color palette that my prof suggested for each one of them but I can pick it myself so I will cheat just a little bit.”

“Such a rebel.” She tells him shaking her head. “So with what are you gonna start?”

“It’s a surprise.” He tells her. “But I just need you to sit and stare at me for this one, it shouldn’t be too hard for you.”

She huffs at him and sticks her tongue out when she is on the way to the couch, he tries to pull her into a kiss but she just pulls away and plops down into the couch.

“Okay, so please.” He starts try not to look away from me please he says looking at his phone, just then she realizes that most colors on his table are greens, some are pink and skin like colors but most are every shade of green she didn’t even know existed.

“Do I have to keep my eyes open too?” She asks widening her eyes comically and he just sighs as if she was crazy.

“No, babe.” He says trying not to sound amused. “That’s biologically impossible.”

“Is it?” She asks. “I had no idea.”

“Don’t you have like 3 biology courses?” He asks laughing and she pouts.

“Yes, I do sadly.” She says. “Which reminds me I need to go back to my place tonight.”

“You do?” He asks and he is already drawing something, she wishes she could see what.

“I left my bio books there.” She says sadly and he sighs.

“I don’t like going to my place.” She mumbles after a while.

“I don’t like it when you go to your place either.” He tells her, almost in a whisper, the conversation they are having a distant worry for him he is much too focused on his art.

She has learned this makes him very honest.

⭐

“You are so ridiculous.” She mumbles stifling a yawn.

“Why?” He asks he is drawing, the sun rays are barely awakening and he is drawing her, she knows he is stressed about this assignment but it’s so damn early.

“It’s like six am.” She complains and she wants to hide her face on the pillow away from the sun, he actually opened the curtains for this of course, but she doesn’t dare he looks so focused.

“Almost seven.” He corrects her. “You can sleep still, though.”

“The sun is on my face.” She complains and he just looks at her seriously before going back to his drawing. “Babe, love, darling, please just go the fuck back to sleep.”

“No.” He says decisively. “This is perfect, the lighting, the pose, you look perfect like this, I need to use it.”

“But it's so early.” She keeps complaining just a little less forcefully than before, sleep is coming back to her and the compliment softened her quite a bit too.

“Think of it this way.” He says leaving the orange pencil he has on his hand and picking a yellow one. “This way you can nap while I do this and you don’t have to pose for boring hours as last time.”

“You have a point.” She concedes.

“I always do.” He says softly. “Now go back to sleep, my love.”

She just hums hugging the pillow slightly tighter, her eyes are feeling heavy already and before she knows it the sound of Matteo’s pencils against the paper becomes so distant that it fades away.

⭐

“Okay, this one is uncomfy.” She mumbles.

“But you are lying in bed.” He tells her from the chair and she lifts herself on her elbows.

“But I am wearing lingerie.” She tells him.

“It’s a silk robe.” He says. “And I have seen you in less why is this uncomfy.”

“Because all of your class will see me like this.” She tells him. “Isn’t that an uncomfy idea for you?”

“No.” He says simply. “That way they all can see what they are missing and I have.”

She giggles despite herself and Matteo sends her a quick wink.

She sighs, it’s true it’s not lingerie, the lace of he bra peaks a little from under the fabric but the robe is long enough she has felt comfortable using it around many people before, it reaches slightly lower than the middle of her thighs, she uses wears skirts shorter than this a lot of the time, but she still doesn’t feel comfortable.

Matteo has done these kind of drawings before, even more daring ones of her but those are for him, those are the things he draws by memory and keeps close to himself they are not meant for the eyes of hundreds of people and some professors.

“Okay, this is not working.” He says after a while and she pouts. “You look stiff.”

“It’s because I feel uncomfortable.” She defends herself, he sends her a look, a little harsher than he probably intended but she makes herself smaller still, she doesn’t want to feel like Matteo’s assigment is not working because of her.

After a while he stands up and goes to the closet before coming back with one of his few t shirts.

“What if you wear this?” He asks and she shrugs.

“That would probably be better, yes.” She says in a small voice and Matte sighs, he gets closer slightly and his hands go to the belt of the robe and starts undoing the loose knot she made just minutes ago.

“I am so sorry if I have been difficult about this.” He tells her kissing her jaw and she melts against his touch.

“I know you are stressed.” She takes her hands around his neck playing softly with the hair of his nape, his lips go lower and into her neck, he sucks ever so slightly but she still gasps at this. “I know it’s a very big deal.”

“It is.” He agrees and his hands slide to her waist, caressing her bare skin. “But you are being so nice and so great in helping, I mean you are nice and great about everything, though.”

She is about to say something nice back, maybe tell him not to worry when he bites her skin softly, sending her body into overdrive, she tries to press herself more against his body, suddenly she is wearing too much to be comfortable.

“And the fact that I am stressed is not your fault.” He says and his free hand slides the robe off her shoulder, following its path with soft feathery kisses.

She pulls him into a kiss and he accepts gladly, teasing her lower lip with his tongue before searching hers, she moans slightly against his lips, he lets the robe fall to the floor and takes a step away.

“Now we put this in.” He says in a deep, raspy voice and she is feeling too dazed and confused to process that he is putting the t shirt on her and she is actually helping him. He takes a look at her, his eyes going down her body, they are incredibly dark, but they are still analytical. He messes her hair just slightly and goes back to his chair.

“Just kneel on the bed.” He tells her and she can feel how incredibly amused at the state he left her in.

She positions herself at his request, one shoulder of the too big shirt ends up falling leaving her more exposed than before even.

She can’t focus on that at all.

⭐

“Oh my god, I am so excited, I am so pumped, I can’t wait to see them.” She says excited and she bumps into something with her hands as she gesticulates.

The three drawings are finally ready and Matteo is of course being dramatic about it, he is leading her to his studio as he covers her eyes and rambles excited about them.

“Okay so the names are not final.”She feels them stop so she guesses they are where he wants them to be. “I need to find better ones, or I don’t know actually, not yet.”

“I don’t think the names matter that much.” She tells him softly and she feels him sigh. “But I am sure you will find the perfect ones.”

He doesn’t answer this, he just softly slides his hands away from his eyes and Luna’s breath is taken away the moment she sees his work.

They are much bigger than what he usually does but this she knew of course. She still needs to get closer, she needs to focus on each one individually is what they deserve.

She approaches the first one he made, a little piece of paper next to it with a color palette consisting of greens and pinks, the most contrasting of them, this little paper tells her it’s titled happiness and it’s just a her eyes.

Or more like a close up of her eyes, except that they are so deep, so enchanting, so beautiful. She doesn’t think her eyes are really this way, so bright, so vibrant, so clear, seeming to contain every shade of green the world has ever seen and some that she could swear are new ones. Her lashes are long casting shades on them and you can see each and everyone of them, no wonder he took hours.

He also took the time to detail each and everyone of her freckles, they are a darker pink color here instead of fully brown but it works perfect as they grace her scrunched up nose, just then she realizes she is smiling, she takes a look back at the eyes, they are smiling too.

She walks to the next one, this one is the way he drew in that sunset, so so early and now she sees what he means that the lighting was perfect for it, it’s all yellows and oranges. Her curls and bare back seem to be made entirely of the sunrise light and she seems a little softer around the edges, the sheets around her look like they are fading into the morning. It feels her heart with a comfortable warmth

She looks at the paper next to it, the color palettes is of course, soft yellows and oranges, the title is peace, she takes a deep breath, try to calm herself a little, this is overwhelming, in the best sense of the word.

She moves to the next one and she blushes as soon as she sees it, it’s probably adequate, this drawing is full of red, they are strong reds, deep reds, soft reds, she sends a quick look to the color palette, it has devotion written on it and it feels completely right.

She would be the last person to say something like this of herself, but here she looks like a goddess, she looks powerful, strong and sexy, the shirt hands loosely on her showing parts of her bra, not that much but enough that the lace calls the eyes, her hair is messy and so are her eyes, sucha dark red that they are almost black, her lips are a dark red too, the rest of her just a soft shade of it. She can’t look at this one for too long but she can’t take her eyes away either. It’s such a strange sensation to see herself like this. Is this how Matteo sees her?

“So what you think?” He asks and she turns to him, he is almost jumping from one feet to the other but of course he is trying to be casual about it, just like he is shifting his position, she smiles at him, she is too struck by the feelings these paintings caused her to manage a full smile but she hopes that it’s still enough.

“They are amazing, Matteo.” She says in a breathy voice walking to him.

“Really?” He asks resting his hands on her hips and bringing her closer.

“Of course really.” She exclaims. “They are just incredibly, I don’t think I have ever seen anything like these.”

“You don’t know much about art.” He teases but she can see he is pleased.

“I know enough to know that these are great.” She says surely. “They are so incredibly beautiful,I feel like I should be saying more but I just don’t know enough words to describe just how perfect they are.”

“I love you so much.” He says softly. “You are the best, you helped me so, so much here, I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“You could have.” She tells him resting her hand on his cheek.

“Okay, maybe.” He says quickly and Luna giggles. “But I don’t want to do this without you so…”

“I love you.” She says when he doesn’t finish the sentence and he just grins at her. “You are gonna get the best grade possible.”

“Thanks to you.” He says and he kisses her before she can say anything against it.

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

♫ Surfing on a soundwave, Swinging through the stars, Take a left at your intestine, Take your second right past mars!

On the Magic School smelly space bus! ♫

SPOILERS for Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow #2!

This is a comic where, the longer I sit with a particular issue, the more I’m like, ‘yeah. Yeah. YEAH.’

It’s dense in a way that invites the reader to go through it multiple times, and rewards additional readthroughs.

Also, it helps that the art is FREAKING AMAZING.

Seriously. Evely and Lopes should draw and color everything, forever, always.

(I will honestly be shocked if they don’t get an Eisner nom for this book.)

Anyways, all of this to say: Another issue that I enjoyed. It has one of the most genuinely sweet Supergirl moments I’ve seen in the comics in a good long while.

So, if you’re looking for a quick thumbs up/thumbs down rating, thumbs up!

If you’d like some SPECIFICS, though...

THE STORY

King is an evil genius because we don’t pick up where we left off--rather, we start in the midst of the Space Bus journey.

There is technically a Big Action Scene, but I was honestly surprised by how...casually? the story progressed.

Essentially: Kara and Ruthye are forced to travel by bus because 1.) Krem stole Kara’s rocket and 2.) this corner of the universe doesn’t have the right stars, so Kara’s still recovering from being under a red sun for an extended period of time.

The bus makes occasional stops; they encounter a space dragon; Kara takes some Red Kryptonite and saves the day; they eventually arrive on a planet with a yellow sun. 

And again, all of this occurs with a kind of...breezy ease that I was not expecting at all.

I assumed that the space dragon fight would make up the final moments of the issue, after having built up the problem to a point where Kara needed to intervene.

But, noooope. The space dragon happens somewhere in the middle, which helps sell the central idea that this is simply Kara’s life. She’s been there, done that. She’s a badass who takes it all in stride.

But! Important to note! Ruthye still marvels at the sight of Kara taking out the space dragon, as well she should, because:

OH MY GOD. THE aRT.

There’s only so many times I can say, ‘it’s phenomenal, it’s gorgeous, it’s stunning’ before sounding like a broken record.

But it is. It truly is. This is the prettiest monthly book on the stands right now.

(Realizing I’ve been spelling Ruthye wrong this entire time, maybe? IDK. Apologies if I have.)

It’s in the final moments of the book that we learn what transpired after Krem shot Kara and Krypto and fled: Kara managed to get Krypto and Ruthye to a healer, and then passed out for a week. 

Ruthye and Kara recovered, buuuuut...

Krypto is still very near death because the arrow was poisoned.

The healer can’t treat him until he has a sample of the poison.

Which Krem has.

(See where this is going?)

So! Kara regains her powers! Ruthye has a super on her side! KRYPTO’S LIFE HANGS IN THE BALANCE!

Gimme. Issue. 3. STAT.

THE CHARACTERS

Very much enjoyed Ruthye in this issue!

There’s a really tricky balancing act you gotta pull off when writing child characters; you don’t want to just write them as tiny adults, but you also don’t want to be obnoxious or cloying in trying to write ‘true-to-age.’

King gives himself a bit of a cheat, by setting her up as a rock farmer from a...what would you call it. An old-fashioned planet? And thus the kind of character who had to ‘grow up fast’ and behaves more maturely than your typical pre-teen might.

BUT! IMPORTANTLY! This is tempered by placing Ruthye in situations where her (understandable) ignorance is challenged/put to the test. Like, yes, she is mature, and well-spoken, and utterly tenacious, but she’s also out of her depth, and still in need of help and guidance.

(Which is how we get to The Best Scene which I’ll get to in just a sec.)

TL;DR - this issue has really sold me on Ruthye as our POV character and I am officially Invested in the relationship between her and Kara.

Speaking of...

It’s KARA-CTERIZATION TIME!

So, okay. There’s some ‘eh’ stuff in this one, but, BUT!

We got the goods again.

And by ‘goods’ I mean this:

Whatever other nitpicks I have (and I do! Have one! Which I’ll get to!) THIS. This right here! This is Supergirl. This is Kara.

And what a beautiful line to introduce this moment:

“And it began--as most things begin when you’re dealing with Supergirl--with a moment of kindness.”

It’s the same gentle concern we saw in the previous issue, where Kara knelt down to address Ruthye eye-to-eye. 

Here, Kara’s facial expression, and the way she takes Ruthye’s hands and shows her what to do...

It’s just. SO SWEET.

Ahhhhh it’s so good. :D

So good! In fact! That the above scene offsets my one complaint, which is that Kara came off as harsh, IMO, when addressing the bus passengers, looking for Red K. 

Other good stuff from this particular portion of the book: we get Kryptonese (maybe? I think?) And a mention of Kara’s mother being strict about certain things, which is in keeping with the 2000s series version of Alura.

Ruthye also asks if Kara ever tried to avenge the death of her family/culture and she says no; Ruthye says that she heard a lifetime of regret in Kara’s response, which I suppose could be read one of two ways:

1.) That she regrets her choice not to avenge them, or 2.) that she regrets not having the option to avenge them, as there was no one person to punch, no single action that could rectify the destruction of the entire planet.

I personally prefer the second reading.

Which I suppose contradicts the recent-ish “Killers of Krypton” arc, but who knows what is and isn’t canon anymore, honestly. XD

As for the rest of the issue! I found myself thinking of a Grant Morrison interview, actually.

Morrison apparently met a Superman cosplayer at a con and that’s when the character clicked for them: “[The superman cosplayer] was so in the character, but what really got me was the way he was sitting. It was this absolutely relaxed pose with one knee up and the arm bent over, and that’s what broke Superman for me. Suddenly I realized that Superman wouldn’t be a poser, he wouldn’t be a Muscle Beach steroid guy; he’d actually be completely relaxed because nothing could hurt him. He could be so open and friendly to everyone because no one can punch him or hurt him. He can’t get a cold, or be damaged by anything you’re carrying or wearing. For me that was the power of that, whether you want to frame it as magical or not, it actually informed the stories I wanted to write. I felt I understood him in a way I hadn’t until that moment.”

That’s always stuck with me, the idea that Clark would be the most at-ease, chill guy you'd ever talk to.

And THAT, I think, is what we’re seeing here with Kara. That at-ease-ness.

But in a way that is distinct from Clark! In the above quote, it’s clear that Morrison thinks it’s Clark’s powers that are the reason he can be so relaxed and at ease.

But Kara is de-powered here. So why is she so chill?

Because Kara is an alien.

Kara’s in her element, here. She’s used to space travel, she knows the ins-and-outs, she’s not shocked by any of the weird stuff they encounter on their journey. 

Love it. LOVE. IT.

I am SO GLAD that King decided to go with Kara being the wizened mentor, as opposed to the naïve kid learning to be tough. It’s a much more interesting angle, IMO.

Also NO MENTION OF RIVALRY BETWEEN KARA AND CLARK. WOO. LET’S KEEP THIS ROLLIN’.

Alright, last, but certainly not least:

THE GOOD BOY! KRYPTO!

When I tell you I stress-read this entire comic first thing in the morning...XD

And I am STILL stressed. And a little sad that Krypto doesn’t get to go on another space adventure but! This is MIGHTY PREFERABLE to what I *thought* was going to happen, which is that Krypto would die from his injuries, and Kara would likewise be out for revenge. 

Fortunately, that is not the case! 

So like, the stakes?!?! Suddenly sky high. Find that dirtbag Krem and GET THAT POISON BACK TO THE HEALER!!

ART and MISC. STUFF THAT I LOVE

I generally don’t like to post entire pages of a comic, or panels without context, but the...reach? of this blog is extremely limited so. I think we’ll be okay. XD

So, alright! Some moments that I particularly enjoyed!

One of the panels that Mat Lopes shared early on! 

I want this lettered version on a mug.

(Also she looks very ’Grace Kelly-ish’ here.)

Love Kara’s facial expression and her line about space travel being more fun when you can fly.

From the same portion of the book--such a neat detail that Kara keeps her cash in her sleeve!

Another set of panels that I think Tom King shared a few months back.

Love Kara’s little smirk, and the, “I’m wearing a big yellow S on my chest, and a very fashionable red skirt.”

It IS fashionable. WE SUPPORT THE SKIRT, IN THIS HOUSE.

Also the slrrrrrrp. XD

It’s good.

Okay, 1.) VERY COOL SCI-FI DESIGN and 2.) that line is great. “Can you feel it, Ruthye? We’re getting closer. The stars are changing.”

Mmmm, them good cosmic Kara vibes.

Kara’s attitude about the Red K here is fun, like, ‘WELP, sometimes you turn into a monster, sometimes you don’t!’ but again, the line is what gets me.

“Did my hair move?”

“I do not believe so.”

XD

Honestly? I could post the whole comic here. Evely’s vision of ‘public transit, but space’ is just so immediately...not ‘real’, necessarily, because there’s such a fantastical element to it all, but it is fully realized. I think I used the phrase ‘lived-in’ and that’s it--this world feels like it has always existed; every grimy nook and cranny, every rando space bus traveler.

And Mat Lopes’ colors!

There are like, five distinct color palettes at work in this issue, and Lopes handles them all masterfully.

I think my favorite is the...I’ll call it ‘ethereal space aquarium’ lighting in the bus as they view the space dragon.

The glow and the shadows and the blues and pinks...

GGGGGGGGAAAHHHHHHHHHH so goooooooood

So, yeah. :D

I am very much enjoying this weird, wild ride with small, precocious Ruthye and wizened, crusty Kara. XD There’s some stuff that I don’t *love* but my goodness, it could be a lot worse!

Let us end on the beautiful title page:

[dommedolores-blog]

Prairie Tempera, Ch. 1

[sfw][fluff and angst][a Dolores Abernathy x fem!reader fic][’off screen’ violence][tw: blood & death]

With cupped hands, river water meets your face, washing away the grime from hours of walking. If only it could clear away the clouds in your mind. Maybe then the tears would cease.

Out of sorts, wandering away from Sweetwater to be alone had seemed like another good idea. The blisters on your feet beg to differ. Stripping down to your bloomers, you submerge your feet and lean back in the grass, braiding together black eyed susans and baby's breath to pass the time.

“You've chosen a mighty fine spot for introspection, friend. I was fixin' to do a bit o' that myself, if you don't mind me joinin' you?”

Introspection, indeed. You're startled by the sudden noise of company, but that passes in a blink. The voice of the approaching rider flows like honey from a smiling face, her hair much the same. Unlike you, she's unafraid to be straddling a horse in a full length dress.

That accent, you wonder. A host?

“I'm sorry,” you say, a bit unsure, “I can go.”

“Nonsense, it'd be a delight to have a bit o' company for once. It's real peaceful here.” She dismounts, setting up an easel after tying the reins to a nearby tree. She spares you another quick glance before going about situating her palette and brushes, grinning. Blushing? “Sun's bearin' down today. I reckon you have the right idea.”

You realize you've been staring once she unbuttons her bodice and folds it, averting your eyes to your legs. Bloomers. Of course she's a host. To her, you've been lounging about in your underwear for all the true world to see. A real, modern woman wouldn't think twice about your lack of layers.

Yet her embarrassment seems so real. Charming, even. She goes about locking her half finished painting in place.

“Judgin' by the get up you've strewn about, you seem like a well off girl,” she comments, keeping her focus on the landscape. “What brings you all the way out to these parts without a horse? I'd be glad to escort you back to town.”

“No, no thank you. There's no one waiting for me there.” Your voice quivers.

“No family? Husband?” You hear her set down her brush, grass rustling beneath her skirts. She squats down next to you, and you can't help but feel breathless at the perfection of her face. Her eyes flit across your own, slight smile disappearing. “You know, my daddy could find some work for you on the ranch, if money's what yer needin'.” She places a gentle hand on your shoulder. Her empathy feels as genuine as her flesh. “Ain't no sense in a sweet thing like you lookin' for work in town.”

Dear lord, she thinks I've run away from the brothel, the Mariposa.

“My so called family took off on a bounty hunt without me,” you correct quickly. “I think they thought I'd slow them down. Told me to go 'get my face painted or go for a hay ride' 'til they got back. Maybe you've seen them? They rode off together, all in black hats.” Your family had cared enough to bring you along on their decadent vacation to play cowboy, but not enough to give you the few moments needed to change into appropriate riding clothes. The elaborate dress you had chosen, complete with a feathered hat, had been a poor choice for adventuring.

She lights up. “Can't say I have. Bet they're just tryin' to keep you safe is all.” She tilts her head towards the tree. “Come sit in the shade before you fry up. If a face full o' paint is what yer lookin' to find, well, maybe our paths were meant to cross, yours and mine.” Standing, she offers her hand.

You take it, toppling into her on legs of jelly, making her giggle before she leads you to the shade, fingers locked. Opening her paints, she considers them while studying your face.

“Now then, how shall we inspire yer folks? What would you like?”

Speechless, you're lost admiring her sculpted features. “Well,” you say, filling up time.

“Don't be shy, it won't hurt,” she reassures you, taking your hand yet again and testing the bristles on your palm. “At worst it might tickle a bit,” she whispers, leaning in and running the brush along your jaw to your lips.

“That's fine,” you tell her, in awe of this sudden situation, one that's far beyond fine. You hope she's not programmed to mind the feel of your veins thudding in your wrist. “Surprise me. Please.”

“Alright, then. I can do that, friend.”

“I'm (y/n), by the way,” you mention, a bit unsettled by how natural it feels to introduce yourself to someone who may as well be no one.

“(y/n). That suits you. I'm Dolores.” She sets about mixing her paints, giving you a chance to observe her freely before she brings a full brush to your cheek. “Is this fine?”

“Very much. I'm all yours,” you say, cheek burning beneath the cold paint. A faint trace of mischief passes across her face.

“Careful now, you may regret sayin' that.”

“I doubt it.”

Relaxing under the birdsong, you allow your lids and shoulders to drop. A breeze rustles her waves, and she's so close that they reach you with every gust, stirring up a sweet fragrance. Either hers or the flowers', you're unsure.

Soon, drying paint is slathered over half your face, and her strokes are starting to dance down your neck, giving you goose bumps. As she reaches your collar bone, she asks, “May I?” while tugging at the strap of your chemise. You nod, allowing her to slip it over your shoulder, nearly exposing your chest. She continues to use your body as a canvas, drawing who-knows-what across your shoulder and far closer to the edge of your chemise than you had anticipated. She takes her time scrawling across your right breast, carefully resting her hand on the left. Your breath hitches when she blows her own across your skin. You shudder.

“Got carried away a bit,” she admits, stirring you enough to open your eyes. “Yer too good of a muse. Lemme go wash up, and I'll escort you back to town. Don't want yer rowdy bunch a missin' you fer too long. Might have my poster outside the sheriff's office next.”

In her absence, you finish your chain of flowers, glancing up at her every opportunity. She notices.

“Water's clear! Come have a look at your reflection!”

You wade into the river bank, bending down to catch a glimpse in the ripples. It's hard to see. You lean down further. Flowers. Your face mirrors the field of black eyed susans, and for the first time, you fall a bit in love with yourself.

In an instant, you're drenched, Dolores' laughter echoing through the valley. You want to be angry at the trick, but one look at her smile has you suppressing your own.

“You're asking for it,” you warn, kicking water in her direction.

“I might be!” She removes the powder blue skirt and tosses it to the grass as fast as she can, never taking her eyes off of you as she backs away.

Before long, you're both knee deep, hair soaked and clinging to shimmering skin. When you notice her hard work start to run, you surrender, hands in the air.  

“You win!” you pant.

“Always do,” she replies, wading closer. “I can patch it up sometime, if you like,” she references her handiwork, running a finger along your neckline as she pulls you closer to get a look, droplets sparkling in her hair, caught in her web just as you are.

“I'd like that,” you take her offer, closing the gap between you, corset against corset. Green paint bleeds into the white fabric of her chemise, and you instinctively pull away. “Don't worry over that, it'll wash. C'mon, let's catch our breath.”

She laces her fingers in yours and leads you back to dry land, underclothes translucent and clinging. You both collapse beneath the artificial star, connected in silence until you've air dried.

“Sun's goin' down,” she interrupts after a long period of silence. “We best be gettin' back.”

You don't argue, dressing yourself as she does the same.

“Dolores,” you draw her attention as she packs up her easel and readies her horse. She turns. “Would you accept this? You won, after all.”

She lights up and tilts her head down, accepting the flower crown with a wide smile. “I'll treasure it all my days.”

Dolores helps you up onto the saddle before mounting it herself, urging you to hold on. Resting your blank cheek on her shoulder, you slip your arms around her waist and pull yourself close. She gives you little lessons on how to ride a horse throughout the journey, and the closer you get to Sweetwater, the more you hang on her every word.

“Will I see you again?” she asks.

“If you'd like to,” you reply.

“O' course!” She points off in the distance. “Our ranch is that way, just beyond the hill. You're always welcome to come callin', (y/n). Daddy'd love you, I know it. If you'd rather stay with us...”

Your heart twists. “Tomorrow, I will. I promised my family I'd be here when they got back.” You dismount, already regretting your choice.

“Lookin' forward to it,” she tells you, winking.

“Me too.” Taking a chance, you kiss her knuckles before letting her go. “'Til then.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

The sun has long since set, and you're still alone, sitting by yourself in the saloon. It's been so long, you're noticing dialogue loops in the hosts. None of them feel quite like Dolores had. You've had enough. You down your drink and head outside, looking for a horse of your own.

Hooves pounding earth distract you, and you stop in your tracks.

“Dolores?” you ask beneath your breath, catching sight of her hair and dress flying in the wind as she thunders through town. “Dolores!” you yell out to her. You notice the tears streaming down her face, and then the dark streak down her front. Her eyes meet yours, and she manages to stop, falling from her horse more than sliding.

You do your best to catch her, cradling her head. Her tresses are pink and sticky, and you can hear her lungs rattle as she tries to speak. You shush her, choking up. Her crown is still clinging, though most of the petals have fallen, no doubt in a trail behind her, as scattered as your hopes of spending another day with the sweet rancher's daughter you'd met just a few hours previous. There's no way she'd be herself before another narrative loop. This was your goodbye.

“Who did this to you?” you ask, hand hovering above the bullet hole in her rib cage.

Unable to speak, blood streaming from the corner of her mouth as she coughs, she instead runs a trembling hand around the brim of your hat. Your black hat.

You pull her close, giving in to sobs of anger and frustration. You shouldn't feel this way over a thing, a doll to play with, but you've left logic in the saloon. The soluble tempera flows with your tears, washing away what you hadn't been willing to. Dolores clings to you with her remaining strength, as though she had spent all of it to reach you. The thought gives you a lump to swallow as you cradle her face, prints of green and yellow left from your touch. As softly as a true rainbow, she fades, taking her memory of you to a temporary grave.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Thank you for reading! If you enjoy my writing, please consider sending Dolores (me) an ask! She’d love to play with you.