#li shiu

[variousqueerthings]

Some stuff about queer culture in Weimar Berlin 

Note: Das Institut für Sexualwissenschaft does not have a definitively used translation from what I see -- have seen Institute of Sexology (my preferred translation), Sexual Science, Sexual Research, Sexual Knowledge etc. It’s all the same place.

any further suggestions, feel very welcome to add!

*

ONLINE:

the wikipedia for the institute: yeah, yeah it’s wikipedia, but get some groundwork done here if you know nothing at all, so the next set of recommendations don’t overwhelm you

Remembering Dora Richter, One of the First Women to receive Gender-Affirming Surgery: good introduction to the Institute of Sexology, with a focus on one of the women who lived, worked, and received care there

On the Clinics and Bars of Weimar Berlin: a more in-depth article about the institute, some of the people who sought to get support via it, and the surrounding culture of the time

The Magnus Hirschfeld Society: a lot of their work is published online, in German, French, and English. Hours of fun.

Interview with the author Laurie Marhoefer: discussing his book (mentioned below) Sex and the Weimar Republic, which focuses on various fronts to sexual liberation in the Weimar Republic, including the limitations of assimilationist approaches*

*Marhoefer is currently working on their third book centred on queer persecution during the Third Reich, which “centrally analyzes racism as a vector of persecution,” so that’s something to keep an eye out for too

The Asian Canadian gay activist whose theories on sexuality were decades ahead of their time: an article about Li Shiu Tong, by Marhoefer, who also wrote a book about him (see below). The title really says it all

The Transvestite Magazine of Weimar Berlin: a series of magazines that were published until 1933 when the crackdown on queer rights resulted in the destruction of the Institute of Sexology, featuring examples of voices almost completely overlooked -- transvestites who were simply living their lives

The Institute for Sexualwissenschaft: this blog post goes into something I’ve been thinking as well -- the parallels between the anti-queer/anti-trans violence perpetuated by the German government before, during, and after the Nazis and the anti-queer/anti-trans rhetoric and violence today. Where would we be if all that research had survived? (and luckily, some of it has!)

*

BOOKS

Der Liebe und Dem Leid: Das Institut für Sexualwissenschaft 1919-1933: a recent German historical account of the institute of Sexology that I desperately want to get my hands on

Sex and the Weimar Republic: German Homosexual Emancipation and the Rise of the Nazis: explores intersectional fights for queer emancipation during the Weimar Republic and its limitations

Racism and the Making of Gay Rights: A Sexologist, His Student, and the Empire of Queer Love: goes deeper into the story of Li Shiu Tong, who was an impressive researcher at the institute and whose contribution to sexual and gender philosophies is being reconsidered at the moment!

Magnus Hirschfeld: The Origins of the Gay Liberation Movement: a biography of Magnus Hirschfeld and his central role in the queer liberation movement of the time

The Masculine Woman in Weimar Germany: looks at the depictions of women who didn’t conform to standard gendered and sexual expectations from 1918-1933 and explores their role to understand gendered lives and experiences at this point in German history

The Hirschfeld Archives: Violence, Death, and Modern Queer Culture: a book I desperately want to read on anti-queer violence in the early 20th century, focusing on the Institute of Sexology and its destruction, which has gathered archival material from “over a hundred published and unpublished books, articles, films and photographs.”

Gay Berlin: Birthplace of a Modern Identity: another broader book about Berlin. I’m interested in the subtitle “birthplace of a modern identity” as potentially exploring the ways Berlin was the centre of explorations that despite the Nazis best efforts are still alive and -- with setbacks -- remembered today

Queer Identities and Politics in Germany: A History, 1880-1945: Idk what to tellya it’s about queer identities and politics in Germany between 1880-1945

*

ISHERWOOD

British author Christopher Isherwood spent some time in Berlin, notably including a stay at the Institute of Sexology. This time resulted in “The Berlin Stories,” as well as a section in “Christopher and his Kind” (his autobiography). 

These stories were turned into the play+film “I Am A Camera” and the musical+movie “Cabaret”

The 1993 Alan Cumming and Jane Horrocks Cabaret (one of my favourite things in the world)

Opening of the 1972 movie 

(according to a 1977 biography of Isherwood, he denounced the Berlin Stories in a 1956 essay: “He regretted depicting many persons as "monsters" and noted they were "ordinary human beings prosaically engaged in getting their living through illegal methods. The only genuine monster was the young foreigner who passed gaily through these scenes of desolation, misinterpreting them to suit his childish fantasy."” -- that being said, the people in those books are still very, very interesting and -- despite Isherwood’s initial limitations/biases -- beautiful in their realities)

*

OTHER MOVIES

Anders als die Andern and Laws of Love -- two movies produced via the institute exploring same-sex relationship rights. I haven’t seen the latter yet (it was only restored in 2021, nearly a hundred years after it was released), but it was heavily censored. The former (with the famous German actor Conrad Veidt as a lead) is considered the first movie to overtly show homosexuality. They’re both on the Internet Archive

The Einstein of Sex: Life and Work of Dr. M. Hirschfeld: by cult film-maker Rosa von Praunheim that explores the opening of the institute up until the 30s. I haven’t seen it yet, but very excited! EDIT: currently watching and it’s definitely On A Budget, but a good rundown of Hirschfeld’s life. On youtube with english subs. EDIT 2: having finished it, am interested in how it portrayed Dora Richter (that it had her in it at all was great) -- not completely accurate, but a labour of love

Paragraph 175: a 2000 movie documenting some of the gay men who experienced the violence of the law under Nazi regime and afterwards. This film is simply made, and there aren’t many men featured in it -- it feels like it’s trying to get the story told before they lost their chance completely. The stories are very brutal. It starts pre-war. One of the men talking is the French author Pierre Seel, who lived until 2005 and received recognition as a holocaust survivor in 2003, in part due to this film and his own memoir

Great Freedom: this actually takes place post-war, but another insight into what Paragraph 175 was. the main character was in a concentration camp, but it’s not depicted. I simply think it’s good, although it’s mildly off-topic. 

*

MISC

this has focused a lot on the Institute of Sexology, but I’d like to read some works on Helene Stöcker and the World League for Sexual Reform

[wanderestless]

starting Racism and the Making of Gay Rights by Laurie Marhoefer today, I think i'll liveblog it a little or at least post some quotes as I find them. the book is about Magnus Hirschfeld and Li Shiu Tong ( 李兆堂 ) who were early sexologists and advocates for gay rights in the 1930s.

Hirschfeld and the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft (Institute for Sexual Science) is far more well-known by history although still obscure by the standard of like, Stonewall or the Gilbert Baker pride flag but his student and partner Li Shiu Tong is almost never discussed. according to the author Hirschfeld is becoming a gay rights hero in Germany, but the same cannot be said for Li Shiu Tong.

the author hopes to use this book to correct this erasure and explore the ways that racism, empire and misogyny formed our current understanding of being gay.

[artmctalon]

Sketch of Li Shiu Tong and Magnus Hirschfeld.

Based on this photo I stumbled upon while reading up on the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft and various people associated with it.

Drew this on a Saturday night, instead of going out and rocking the town ;p

[screampied]

❛ THREE’S A CROWD! ❜

↻ feat. satosugu, shiu. toji. nanami. higuruma.

total wc. 2.5k

warnings. fem! reader, 3somes, double penetration, praise kink, choking, toji’s (still) broke, degradation, unprotected s*x, spanking, oral, manhandling, riding higuruma’s nose, hair pulling.

☆ GOJO & GETO.

“…suguru, ‘s no fairrr,” gojo groans. a soft pout tugs against his lips as he watches him have his way with you—you’re happily on your knees, taking geto into your mouth and gojo’s so jealous. it took everything within him to not stroke himself. you however, you looked so pretty. your head bobbles up and down, glistening sheeny strings of your own saliva racing down your chin and geto gives you a rough head pat. “i don’t wanna watch. i wanna fuck her too.”

“then get over here, idiot.” geto grunts, bringing a thumb towards the bottom of your chin. the eye contact the both of you made was forever intimate and sensual. dark pools of eyes stared you down to where you’re pulsing between your plush thighs.

gojo drags his feet towards the two of you before prying you off of geto’s dick, only to then sprawl you on the cushioned mattress. “gimme some attention too. not this bozo.”

“satoru, please be serious. you can barely even last five minutes.”

you sneak out a giggle and gojo grows hot, entirely flustered. he turns you over to where you’re propped up on your stomach and he gives his best friend an aggravated glare, “s-shut up.”

“make me.” geto raises a brow. these two…

“careful with him, pretty girl. poor guy’s super sensitive down there.” geto chuckles, glancing down at you as you faced away, back perfectly arched for him.

gojo’s in front of you—you’re eagerly leaning in to slide your tongue playfully against his fat swollen tip, smothered with droplets of precum.

gojo lets off a moan, hesitatingly bringing a hand towards the crown of your head whilst geto realigns himself again.

“hey, jus’ ignore him,” he clears his throat, making you dart your eyes all back up at him. “he’s always tryin' to p-piss me off,” he nervously chuckles, taking a moment to swallow. “f-fuck, you really do have a good tongue, princess.”

with fluttering eyes, you swirled the tip of your tongue against the very frenulum part of his dick. his most sensitive spot. now that snatched a whine from his throat.

“see,” geto snickers, and that’s when you suppress an incoming moan, feeling geto’s stocky fingers ghost against your waist. he’s halfway in and he’s so thick, inches after inches your mouth opened and parted just from his size. “he’s a big crybaby.”

the two of them bickered so much, even as a intimate moment such as this. by all means it was annoying, yet you were getting your throat and pussy stretched so who exactly were you to complain..

“suguru, f-fuckkk.” you’d whimper out, moving closer towards gojo to run your tongue does his length, near his base. yet that’s when you gradually take him down your throat. he’s so warm inside your throat, you felt the curve he had that thoroughly presented itself to the roof of your mouth.

geto moves some strands away from his hair before gripping tight against your waist. with a swift lick of his lips, he slants his hips forward and the thrusts he started to present to you, you had no words.

“keep looking at me,” gojo huffs out in short breaths, your eyes flicker up at him and you reach down to play with yourself only before geto smacks your hand and you whine.

in the interim, gojo’s hand lies against the top of your forehead. he’s attempting to guide your throat, and you’re such a messy girl, saliva pouring all out the very sides of your mouth.

“goddamnn, you’re filthy for us both aren’t you? can’t even be a clean girl, all that spit running down your chin…just wanna kiss that mess right off you.”

you moan, staring as gojo starts to lightly move his hips into your mouth in a almost rotation motion. your nails dig into his thighs and your head just goes up and down. your lips wrap gently around your teeth to get comfortable — all while geto was driving such a ravenous speed.

your tongue was having a mind of its own, being versatile with how it’s all rigid and solid against gojo’s dick. you’re creating the perfect amount of pleasure to elicit sweet whimpers from the man’s throat, you were no match for geto’s sloppy hits against your pussy however.

“good girl, mouth ‘n pussy being all occupied,” geto utters, maintaining a reasonable pace for you. he had too because of his length, so thick it had your eyes wandering, casually rolling back with your lips parting. “let's see how quick you can make ‘toru cum.”

your eyes trail back up towards gojo, and he’s so pretty, white eyebrows furrowed and tugged tightly together.

you took down his shaft, running your tongue against his tip while having one hand to stroke him and he whines. “f-fuck, you guys are just tryin' to…tryin' to make me cum first,” he swallows, a hand still tugged onto your hair. “you’re so…fuckkk,” he groans, starting to thrust his hips once more against you. “keep takin' me down s-so deep, ‘n i’m gonna cum all down your pretty throat. you want that?”

a subtle needy head non was your answer, and you moaned once geto smacks your ass. still taking him, strings of your own saliva went down your lips and coated all over your chest.

“course ya do, nasty girl.” he huffs out a shaky breath. his lip quavers and with such ease, you wind up making gojo cum—you lap up your tongue against his throbbing cock head, and he’s spasming. gojo’s moans were so cute, melodic and all like a harmony.

geto’s still buried into you. your walls clamped and hugged him securely like a vice. he’s got a tight grip on the back your shirt so you’re vigorously slamming back against him repeatedly. “told ya, look how good you made him feel. can’t even say anything, cute.”

“hate you both,” gojo pouts, his voice was shaky. yet he's then dragging a thumb down your chin to wipe some remains of his own cum from your mouth. “not you though… ‘m not done with you.”

☆ SHIU & TOJI.

with these two, they’d be so mean. toji was already a straight asshole but with a stern shiu kong….you’d be in for a ride.

“think she wants us both,” shiu says, tilting his head with a cunning smile, a slim cigarette sticking from the corner of his mouth. you laid reclined on the mattress, still trying to catch your breath that was continuously unsteady and jagged. it was toji’s fault, he’d just got done eating you out for a good long thirty minutes, you were sure your legs were as good as dead—yet you wanted more.

“use those words, babygirl,” toji murmurs in a gruff tone, he tilts your chin to face him and you’re so dumb, giving him a needy stare. “yeah? don’t be shy.”

you let off a moan before speaking, shiu removes the cigarette from his mouth before planting a soft kiss near the corner of your neck. you sucked in a sharp breath before uttering, “i…i want you both. at the same time.”

“oh?” they both say in uncanny unison. toji cocks his head to the right before easily manhandling you to get towards his lap, like you were a rag doll of some sort. “big fuckin’ girl. think she can take two. can barely take one but okay...”

toji’s sass made you wanna smack him, he laid back and realigned himself. you’re facing him and he’s got such a smug grin on his lips. “shiu be a good boy f’me and take her from behind while i get her from here.”

shiu rolls his eyes at the comment, and he does. you brace yourself, placing two hands on toji’s rock hard bare chest. he was so thick, an electrifying thrill rushed into you, and his cocky stare didn’t help things.

“f-fuckkk,” you sibilated, and he grabs ahold to your hips. your body grows hot and feverish each second you took to steadily sink down onto his dick.

“leave some room for me too, sweets,” shiu whispers, shuddering from him running a finger down your spine. you gnaw the inside of your cheek as shiu starts to make his way in also. if you didn’t feel full to the brim. you certainly did now. the stretch had your mind short-circuiting. “fuck, the way you just suck me ‘n toji in. pussy made just for us, huh.”

toji groans, bringing a mean smack to your ass. “better start moving, girl. don’t have all day.”

you start to move, and the pure feeling of being stuffed of not one but two cocks…

you couldn’t fathom your thought process. by this point, it was practically nonexistant. of course, you found yourself starting to drool the more they felt you cutely try to oscillate and roll your hips against them.

toji grins, you feel yourself growing hot from the way he’s just casually staring at you with that dumb, coy smile plastered on his lips. “what’s with the look baby? you want a kiss or somethin'?”

“y-yeah,” you whined, leaning into his touch and he chuckles, fingers of his going around your throat softly before dragging you closer towards him.

“come here girl..” he rasps, the smirk that stuck against his lips never left. you moaned right into toji’s mouth — feeling the residue of rich alcohol on his tongue, along with the sweet candied flavor of your own slick smothered all over his lips. your pussy was being crowded with each of them inside, deep strokes and thrusts to where you’re convulsing supremely.

a grunt runs past his lips before he ghosts his tongue against yours. you felt the scratched scar that ran across his lip, giving it a brief kiss. a good grip on your neck and once he pulls away, he has you gasping for air.

shiu groans, keeping your hips in place with two rough hands. the cold metal of his rich watch band grazed against your skin and it makes you let off a sexy perfect back arch. “sensitive everywhere, aren’t you, gorgeous? how cute..”

you don’t last long, because only a few long minutes later did you end up cumming again. saying you were out of breath was purely an understatement.

pant after pant, such sweet whines got ripped out of you before out of nowhere you hear wood split. it was loud, an abrupt screeching sound before the box spring sinks inward. the entire motion causes all three of you to nearly collapse.

“did the bed just b-break?” you moaned, stammering over your words, and feeling shiu’s warm cum pour right down your slit and right onto toji’s hefty well-trimmed base.

“seems like,” shiu pulls his brows together, and you whimper once he pulls out—you’re not used to him being plugged in, stuffing you thick and you end up plopping down on toji’s broad scarred chest. “don’t worry your pretty little head, toji’s got the money covered for your bed,” and you let off a relaxed sigh, feeling shiu massage your back before he snickers at toji with a dramatic pause. “oh right…you’re broke.”

☆ HIGURUMA & NANAMI.

these two men would have you in a figurative chokehold.

you’d be sat on top of higuruma, cutely hovering over his face. you suck your teeth, meanwhile, nanami’s standing over the both of you. your lips parts and a long pool of spit runs down your chin as you’re not only taking nanami but riding higuruma’s face.

“you’re so pretty like this,” nanami grunts. he’s so gentle and sweet with his touch.

you cry out a whimper once you feel higuruma’s tongue suck against your folds dry. he was so sloppy with his tongue, a good unyielding pressure on your hips.

as your hips bucked against his face, you breathed through your nose. carefully not using any teeth, you skim your tongue down his shaft before he bites his lip, a hand resting on the top of your head. for a brief second, you gag and nanami sighs out a groan. “easy, sweetheart. relax your throat, yeahh. like that.”

nanami bites his lip, feeling you encircle a plethora of shapes on his tip with your tongue. yet your muffled moans continued to escape past your sheeny lips.

your pussy was being devoured, higuruma’s lashes closed as your hips stuttered against his tongue.

he slurped and slurped, flicking against your nub to make your brain effortlessly haywire in such desire. the way his tongue dances alongside your clit.

it’s spewing all down his chin—you grind against his face once more before you whimper out a sweetened moan. higuruma’s hooked nose prods against your cunt and you’re just stuck in a trace.

“she likes riding against your nose, hiromi.” nanami breathes, moving a few strands from your face.

“ah, i bet she does,” he breaks away abruptly, watching a cobweb of his own saliva trickle and depart from your throbbing cunt. you’ve got him addicted, he laps his tongue before rubbing the tip of his nose against your folds just to see you whimper. “it’s reserved just for her. right angel?”

you nod, throat still full of nanami’s hardened cock—you felt a vein run down the side of his shaft, and he groans with his eyes indolently rolling back in pleasure.

“damn,” he hisses, the way his neck swiftly thrown itself back, it was attractive. his adam’s apple that poked through. nanami tugs on his tie roughly as if the room was hot, before letting off a low sigh. he grabs your chin to make you stare right at him, “what are we gonna do with you..”

as you continued to rut and maneuver your hips against higuruma’s face, nails dug into the thick thighs of nanami. you flicker your lashes up at nanami, feeling him pulse.

with a tap tap tap you heard him tapping his foot against the slick floor. he was about to release all in your mouth.…you knew it and so did he.

“get a little more comfortable for me, baby,” higuruma purrs, slowly sticking out his tongue to lick between your folds. you shudder at the lewd feeling of his tongue creating a curve all throughout the insides of your entrance. “that’s it. don’t move, don’t hover… just park your pussy on my mouth. good girl,” and he lets off a low grunt. “don’t know how fuckin’ starving i am..”

you break your mouth away from nanami’s shaft, rolling your tongue against yours lips once he finishes and he strokes your cheek lovingly, trying to hide his flustered state.

“…good girl,” he pants before tapping a finger against your temple. “stick out your tongue and show me.”

nanami watches as you obliged, lolling out your tongue for him before you moan. he towers over you, grabbing ahold of his length with one hand before smacking his tip against your tongue and you giggle, reaching a hand down to play with higuruma’s hair. “you little…that tongue’s dangerous.”

[endofthelinepal107]

baby daddy toji drabbles

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

baby daddy toji who didn't react well when you told him you were pregnant. you were expecting it, so it didn't hurt as much as it could have, but it was still a punch in the gut. most of your relationship had been more just messing around, so you knew what kind of guy toji was. you just hadn't anticipated the cool look on his face when he listened to your news and then made a small, hurtful correction. 'nah, you're having a baby, not us.'

baby daddy toji who you expected nothing from. you told him firmly that you were keeping the baby, and that you were only telling him as a courtesy. after that, you expected nothing: no money, no co-parenting, no contact, nothing. you didn't want it, not from him. you could do it better on your own.

baby daddy toji who went without seeing his son for five whole years. he missed the birth of his one and only child, missed out on seeing the adorable baby and toddler stages. but, when he was five, megumi asked to meet his father. you had never lied to your son about who his father was, and so when he asked that question, you couldn't find it in yourself to deny him.

baby daddy toji who was predictably hard to track down. once you eventually managed to get into contact with shiu kong, you found out that toji was in prison, and had been for the majority of megumi's life. you told megumi and asked him if he still wanted to meet his father. when he said yes, you steeled yourself and organised a visit.

baby daddy toji who hadn't expected to feel so stricken when he saw you and megumi. he stared at his son, the little boy that was so undeniable his kid: unruly black hair, flat expression, paler skin than you had. he stared at you, holding his son on your lap, looking so much stronger and mature than when he'd said those cruel words and left you to it.

baby daddy toji who swallowed his pride to rasp two questions into the phone: what's the kid's name, and can i see you both again? he ignored the fact that your expression didn't change on the other side of the glass, and just appreciated that you replied: his name is megumi, and i can request another visit if you want to see him again.

baby daddy toji who thought about you and megumi for the weeks that it took before you were back in the visiting room. it had taken seeing the two of you right there in front of him to realise just what he'd fumbled. now he knew, he felt like a fucking idiot. he just hoped he could find a way to be a part of at least megumi's life, if not yours.

baby daddy toji who was patient and attentive enough with your son that you slowly believed that he was telling the truth about wanting to try again. megumi didn't trust him yet, but your son was always slow to warm up to people. he didn't dislike his father, and that was a good sign.

baby daddy toji who mustered up the courage after a few months of visits to ask you if he could meet up with you and megumi outside of the visiting room of the prison, while he was allowed out on parole. he watched your face with his usual blank expression, but his green eyes were shining with hidden anxiety. when you looked to megumi and the little boy nodded, toji let out a soft breath of relief.

baby daddy toji who deliberated where he would take you both for a long time. when the day came around, he picked the fairground. and, for a day, it was almost like you were a normal family. toji won prizes for megumi, went on rides with him, carried him when the kid got tired. and he didn't shy away from your watchful gaze, letting you read his intentions clear on his face.

baby daddy toji who couldn't hide his disappointment when his parole officer turned up and he had to go back to the prison. he looked so crestfallen that megumi looked up at you. toji was confused until you leaned forward with your son in your arms, your lips brushing one cheek while megumi pecked the other. toji blinked at both of you. then he cracked a rare smile. he ruffled megumi's hair, then pulled you back and kissed you on the mouth. it was a brief kiss, a cheeky one that he knew he didn't fully deserve. but, as he sat down in the car and saw you and megumi waving him off, toji resolved to be deserving of it eventually.

baby daddy toji who was a fucking idiot, but he tries to be better for you, and for his baby boy.

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

[nanivinsmoke]

Picture Perfect

just want to apologize for not posting in a while, I was recovering from an illness .

toji f. & shiu k. x f!reader

we all want to be stuffed by these two, right?

summary : your two hot older neighbors agree to stuff you on camera, a viral sensation.

warnings and tags : rough fucking, age gap (readers in her early twenties, the other two late thirties), blow jobs, multiple orgasms, spit play, smoking, porn (making it duh), some anal, nipple play, boob jobs, degradation, etc…

“hello everyone,” you spoke to your webcam, waving at your viewers that were currently tuned in with your livestream. you grabbed a claw clip that was on your desk, putting your hair up before continuing.

“today’s stream is going to be very interesting. remember those two neighbors i was telling you guys about? how i was fantasizing about them fucking me? well, today’s the day!” you said with a giggle, teasing yourself through you ruby red laced bra.

you had been a camstar for a year now and your page was doing really good. at first you were really nervous about showing your face and body to a bunch of random people, but when you got the hang of it; it became natural and unnerving. you only showed from your lips, downward and would blur out the rest of your face and any guests you would be having on the stream. you were making bank, this was a good source of extra income.

you grew really popular, starting off with just some solo play before collaborating with other cam stars, who you became really close with—to now, about to fuck your hot neighbors. they were all for it when you asked them a few days ago, as they have been wanting to fuck the shit out of you for the longest.

the two of them were tired of getting stiff boners watching you walk through the apartment complex, bending over to pick up packages or simply jogging around in your small little outfits; while they shared their daily cigarette. and just like they watched you, you watched them. toji, the one with those hypnotizing green eyes, lived right next door to you; and you could hear everything that went on in his place—and you knew what how good he was.

as for shiu, he lived across the hall from the both of you and would always be at his best friend toji’s house. you weren’t strangers, but after today you would be more than acquaintances.

“when are you gonna stop talking to that camera and come over here, so we could fuck that pretty little mouth of yours?” toji’s deep—panty wetting voice alerted you and your plump lips contorted into a smile. “mmm, can’t keep them waiting. enjoy the show~” you reached behind and unclasped your bra, showing off your plump breasts—before getting up from your plush seat.

sashaying over to your bed, where the two half–naked men awaited, you kicked off your heels and joined them on your king sized bed; pulling toji into a kiss while you reached over and palmed shiu through his briefs. the kiss immediately became hot and sloppy as he pushed his tongue into your mouth, dominating you with ease. freeing shiu from his underwear, you stroked him—his precum sticking to your hand as you moved.

he grunted as he watched you give him the best hand job he had ever received. your manicured hand was soft and your grip around his thick eight inches had him bucking his hips up; wanting more. breaking away from your kiss with toji, you used your one free hand to pull off your soaked panties, tossing it aside; before squatting down on toji’s clothed bulge.

“not wasting any time, are we? guess we really gotta fuck you good now” toji chuckled, grabbing you by your plush thighs and hoisting you onto his face; planting your wet cunt onto his scarred lips—which made you lose your grip on shiu’s cock. a loud moan left your tongue, as toji swirled his on your throbbing clit—sucking and slurping on the swollen bud; your eyes closing shut from the pleasure. but, you had completely forgotten about shiu. that is until you felt his fat tip being smacked onto your plump lips.

his precum became smeared on your lips as he rubbed himself on your mouth, before pushing his way inside of your warm—wet mouth. “shit..” he breathed out while you didn’t hesitate to slobber all over his girth, your moans vibrating against him while toji continued to pleasure you with his tongue.

you started off with using one hand to grip shiu’s cock while you frenched it, tongue swirling around his tip and underneath his cock—causing a low moan to leave his mouth. the way your mouth felt was so euphoric for him. the way your cheeks puffed up and suctioned as you took him, the way your sex filled eyes were brimming with tears and the way spit pooled out the corners of your mouth; had driven him to insanity.

your eyes widened even more when you felt shiu’s big hands grip the sides of your head and push you further onto his cock, making his tip hit the back of your mouth; stuffing you completely. he didn’t let you get used to his roughness, he slammed his hips into your chin; fucking your mouth to his liking.

“yeah, take it like a good little slut—fuck, no hands.” your hands fell to your sides while he proceeded to make a mess out of your mouth. he was so rough, it made your head spin. the more he pumped his fat dick inside, the more your desire increased and everything about his cock turned you on. the smell, the taste and the shape made you hornier; and your throat slowly relaxed—allowing him to push himself deeper inside.

your face was so fucked out and sloppy, coated with slobber as he continued to make your mouth his personal fuck toy. some might find this to be dirty, but he found it arousing—so arousing that he was going to cum real soon, and you knew it too. your clit was pulsating uncontrollably in toji’s mouth. your sweet juices flowing out and into his mouth while he happily lapped them up, dipping his tongue in and out of your hole; building up your orgasm as well.

you couldn’t help but moan and grind your hips on his face, adding some more stimulation to your clit. “shit, y/n—g’na cum in that pretty little mouth,” and a few seconds later he did. he painted the inside of your mouth white, the taste and the warmth only made you want to swallow it and hopefully milk him for more. you wanted to keep sucking, but he pulled out of you with a pop. finally able to breathe right, you gasped and let out a loud moan, as toji sucked on your clit hard; causing you to cum right on his mouth.

“oh f-fuck!~” toji gripped the fat of your ass while you grinded against him, cumming hard all over his face. licking every last bit of your cum, toji pulled you off of his face and pressed his lips onto yours—the mixture of your cum and shiu’s swirled around in your mouths—before the two of you separated, breathless.

shiu immediately grabbed you by your hips and placed you near the edge of the bed where he was standing at, pushing you into the doggystyle position. the sight of your ass was beyond sexy and he couldn’t help but dive his face in between your cheeks, his tongue and the hairs of his mustache tickled you, but it still felt so good. mewls spilled out of your mouth as shiu licked from your ass all the way down to your clit, sending you into a frenzy.

you never been pleased like this before and having your ass ate was such a new, thrilling experience and you craved more. you rocked your hips back onto his face, the fat of your ass smothering him which he loved. it was no doubt that shiu was an ass man.

while shiu pleased you from the back, toji decided to see how good your head game was. “how good is it?” toji asked his best friend, when he finally came up from air, alluding to your mouth. “way too damn good, toj. and fuck her mouth hard, she loves that.” hearing his best friend’s approval, the raven haired male pushed his fat—leaking tip into your mouth, groaning at the feeling.

his dick was so much fatter than shiu’s, your cheeks were spread past its normal size due to his thickness. he tasted so good too, you swirled your tongue and bobbed your head, sucking him like it was an ice pop on a hot sunny day. “too fucking good….shit, this bitch is g’na make me cum already,” toji grunted, pulling himself out of your mouth, so he wouldn’t cum too early before he could fuck your mouth like he wanted.

“told you,” shiu spoke before he stood up from his spot and grabbed his head, pushing it into your slick coated entrance. you couldn’t help but gasp as he stretched you out, which resulted in choking on toji’s cock. “dick too big mama, hm?—it’s alright, you can take it,” toji coached, one of his hands resting on your throat while he restarted to make a mess out of your mouth.

you were in pure bliss while the two men filled both sides of you. your cunt was drenched with your juices and your mouth ached in a way that you found pleasure in. these men were going to break you and you were loving every bit of it.

the pornographic sounds of shiu’s balls smacking your wet cunt, along with the slurping sounds you were making; filled the room the more the two men pounded both of your ends. your live stream was going crazy. it was dinging each time someone joined and subscribed; they were enjoying seeing you get dominated by two older men, and you were as well.

and that’s when you smelled the pungent smell of nicotine. you looked up at toji and saw a cigarette in his mouth, before he took a pull from it and reached over to hand it to shiu. the two of them were smoking while they ravaged you, and you couldn’t help but get turned on from it. “oh? did this just turn you on? seeing us smoke, while we fucked you?” shiu sent a smack to your ass, causing you to moan which vibrated around toji’s eight inches.

“you like that mama? here~” toji removed his cock from your mouth and blew some smoke in it, before a wad of his spit followed along with it. you swallowed it and moaned, sticking out your tongue for more; which made the male chuckle. “so fucking nasty,” he let out another drop into your mouth and shoved his cock right back in, his tip hitting the back of your mouth repeatedly.

shiu could feel how much your walls were clenching around him crazily and knew you were close, “cum for daddy baby, let daddy see how much this pretty pussy cums.” and it didn’t take much for you to let go afterwards. a few more hard strokes with his tip hitting your spot, you creamed around his dick—eyes rolling back in your head as you did. “shit—look so damn sexy when you cum….g’na cum too~” toji breathed out before he emptied his balls into your mouth, with you swallowing his load immediately after.

a trail of spit mixed with his cum followed once he pulled out and you let out a series of moans when you felt shiu’s cock repeatedly slam into your cunt—still sensitive from cumming. a warm filling sensation followed shortly, making your womb feel full with his cum before he pulled out as well.

you laid there breathless, stuffed with cum and a sore aching mouth; until you were flipped over onto your back—being met with toji’s green eyes once more. “my turn~,” he said with a smirk plastered onto his face, before he aligned his tip with your entrance and pushed himself in.

you couldn’t believe it. you were about to have your third orgasm for the night and you were completely fucked out and cock drunk. your cunt gushed as toji pounded into you, his cock stretching you and hitting your g-spot with each stroke. your hair was sweated out and all over the place, but you didn’t care—it was just another sign you were being fucked good.

shiu on the hand was playing with your tits. showing your hard sensitive buds some attention, leaning down to lick on them; while his cock brushed onto one of them. the stimulation sent jolts of electricity to your clit and you loved the feeling from it. “again…mmm do it again”

“where’s your manners, princess?” toji asked, spanking your clit; earning a whimper from you. “please….do it—….again, daddy~.” you locked eyes with shiu and he smirked, before he rubbed his cock against your nipples some more. “good girl”

you were overstimulated to say the least and you could feel your orgasm coming, the two of them were close behind as well. “think she can squirt?” toji asked his best friend, keeping his finger in your clit while he pounded you. shiu looked at your fucked out face and smirked, “definitely.” and he didn’t waste no time in trying to get you to squirt. he thumb swirled on your clit, while his strokes became harder; your orgasm coming at you hard.

“im cumming—im cumming!” you repeated, eyes rolling back into your head as you did and just like shiu said, a stream of clear liquid left your cunt—drenching toji and the sheets beneath you.

“fuck, that was hot. g’na cum too” shiu began stroking his cock, keeping his left hand on one of your breasts—before he painted them with a thick coat of white. and soon, toji was right behind the both of you. after a few more sloppy, hard strokes, your womb was filled once again—tummy full with both of their seeds.

you laid there dazed and out of breath, while shiu stroked your hair and lit up another cigarette. toji sat on the bed and began to massage your sensitive legs, so they wouldn’t be too sore the next day.

“good job mama. maybe next time we could do this again”

and you would definitely take him up on his offer, fucking them on and off camera again.

[lymtw]

Thinking of Toji who buys a Polaroid camera for the sole purpose of capturing you on it. Some of the pictures are candid, like the one he has of you washing dishes. Your sleeves are rolled up as you lean against the kitchen sink. There's very little light shining on you through the window, but your side profile is still visible. You're holding a blue sponge, scrubbing a glass plate clean. Toji loves the domesticity of the image. It was meant to capture the view of his "wife". You're not married yet, but this photo is a preview of what he hopes one day will be a married life with you.

He has non-candid ones as well, like the one he has of you wearing one of his shirts like a dress. He was even able to capture the comfy slippers you wore with dogs all over them. You had just woken up so you had major bed head, and your eyes were slightly puffy and squinted when you looked at the camera lens. Toji remembers how mad you were that he snapped that photo of you. You sluggishly tried to snatch it away, but he held it up in the air where you couldn't reach. You gave up and went back to sleep, but once you fully woke up and saw the picture again, you told Toji to get rid of it because you looked like a hot mess. He lied and told you he cut it up, but really, he keeps it hidden in the glove compartment of his car. He even labeled it with a bold "MY LITTLE GREMLIN" written on the bottom border, beneath the picture. He pulls out the polaroid whenever he's having a rough day. It makes him crack up every time, seeing the way your hair spikes in different directions, from how much you roll around in your sleep. It really puts him in the mindset of thinking that nothing can be so terrible when he gets to wake up to you looking like you've gotten the best sleep of your life.

There are more wholesome ones that he treasures with all his being. One where you're pointing at the enormous waves that crash at the beach. You outshine everything in that picture. The burnt orange sunset that mingles with indigo colored clouds, the foamy, glistening waves that crash onto the sand—they have nothing on you and the happiness that consumes your features as you point at the explosive wave that crashes down a few feet away from you.

There's another one where you're blushing furiously with the cutest shy smile on your face. You're sitting next to him in the passenger seat of his car. Toji had just turned you into mush by bombarding you with sugarcoated words. You clearly remember the way he said "look at my pretty girl..." and "you're so cute, ma". You knew Toji was doing this to rile you up and it was working. You were feeling everything all at once. Your brain was short circuiting, and Toji was enjoying every last second of it. You couldn't even look at him with those blazing cheeks you adorned, and Toji thought it was a perfect picture so he called your name and when you instinctively turned to face him he snapped the picture.

There's one of both of you, where you're keened over in a laughing fit while Toji stares at you with the most lovestruck smile on his face. You had just started dating and nobody in the world was routing for you two, except for Shiu, one of Toji's friends. Shiu third wheeled one night and tagged along to some random bar you wanted to try out. It was supposed to be a date for you and Toji, but thankfully, you didn't have the heart to turn the man away. Shiu took the camera out of Toji's car and it ended up spending ninety percent of the time stuffed in his coat pocket. The perfect moment was hard to spot because Toji seemed so out of character around you all night. There were too many good shots and Shiu almost gave up. He had one shot because he didn't want to catch any backlash from Toji for using up his film, but finally, he looked up from his phone at the perfect moment. Toji was leaning in close to you, saying something into your ear that had you blushing with a growing smile on your face. Shiu always assumes that Toji whispered something dirty because of that sly smirk on his face, but really he just made you laugh so hard. You couldn't sit still on the barstool so you had to stand while clutching your stomach in pain from laughing so much. Toji watched you, sparing a few chuckles himself at your inability to compose yourself. Shiu clicked the button and immediately printed the photo. That picture is one of Toji's most prized possessions. He keeps that one on the dashboard of his car.

Now, Toji has a special collection. One that is hidden from everybody's eyes. Everyone but you because you're the star, as usual, in this special collection. He respects you too much to toss your consent under the rug, so he lets you know ahead of time that whatever happens when the bedroom door shuts will be memorable. With that you expected to occasionally see a few flashes of light during your passionate nights with Toji.

There's one where you're sprawled out on the bed, wearing a bra and some plaid pajama bottoms. You have one hand on your chest, your fingers nestled between your breasts, while your other hand dips into the waistband of your pants. Toji had to snap his fingers so you'd turn your attention to the camera lens because you were staring at him instead. "Over here, pretty girl," he'd say, looking through the viewfinder to center you in the frame. You give the camera a sly little grin, but once you see the flash and you know you've been captured, your gaze returns to him and you give him those eyes. They convey so much love and need for him, and he doesn't have it in him to deny you any longer of his own need for you. You're forever enticing to him, and your level of temptation is unreachable.

He captured your more blissful side in another picture. It definitely wasn't so calm and peaceful before you ended up this way, and Toji never denies it when you stumble upon on this picture during your trips through memory lane. He knows he wasn't gentle in the moments that led up to this picture, but he takes pride in the marks and scratches he left behind on you, making little comments like, "damn, I really tried leaving a scar there, huh?" or "surprised that wasn't permanent" when he sees the deep red lines on your waist and ribs. Every time you look at this picture together, he counts how many marks he left on your back because he loves how flustered you get when it makes you recall that night. The teasing is all worth it when he points at your sleeping face in the picture and tells you you look like a princess. After lots of back and forth about letting him keep a copy of this in his wallet, you caved and told him it was fine as long as his wallet was with him at all times. He became even more protective of his wallet because of this. Now he triple checks and pats his pockets to make sure it's with him anytime he goes anywhere.

There's one that he's very careful with because it has you in a position where you're fully exposed. You're lying on the bed, still fully nude with the most sultry expression on your face. Never mind the fact that Toji had just absolutely railed you and turned you into a mindless puddle on the bed, but you were glowing effortlessly, and Toji had to capture you to make this image eternal. He asked if it was okay to take your picture like this and you just shrugged with a satisfied grin on your face. Your muscles were so tense, you had to stretch your limbs out to bring back a good amount of blood flow. Toji found his camera in time to view you in this unintentional pose. You were brilliant—absolutely stunning. "Just like that, ma. Keep your arms crossed above your head," he instructed. The position made your chest pop more, and your eyes had this twinkle of saintliness to them despite the dark lust emanating from them. Your whole body was in the frame, one of your legs was bent at the knee while the other laid flat on the bed. The mess between your thighs was very much visible, and seeing it through the viewfinder only made Toji's dick come back to life even quicker. You didn't give him a bright and innocent smile, instead you went for the more seductive approach and bit your lip. The flash struck your eyes, and once again, you were a memory on Toji's camera. Toji set the camera aside and climbed right back onto you to continue what was never actually finished.

[hellochildrenoftheatom]

Queer Jews Project Day 2 - Magnus Hirschfeld

A pioneering sexologist, doctor and activist for queer rights in Germany during the late 1800s and early 1900s. Magnus Hirschfeld founded the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft (Institute of Sexual Research), pioneered trans-affirming care, and had two boyfriends: Karl Giese and Li Shiu Tong. Sadly the Nazis burned down his life’s work and he died heartbroken in exile.

Read more about Magnus Hirschfeld here.

Queer Jews Project

[writingwithcolor]

My alternate universe fantasy colonial Hong Kong is more authoritarian and just as racist but less homophobic than in real life, should I change that?

@floatyhands asked:

I’m a Hongkonger working on a magical alternate universe dystopia set in what is basically British colonial Hong Kong in the late 1920s. My main character is a young upper middle-class Eurasian bisexual man.  I plan to keep the colony’s historical racial hierarchy in this universe, but I also want the fantasy quirks to mean that unlike in real life history, homosexuality was either recently decriminalized, or that the laws are barely enforced, because my boy deserves a break. Still, the institutions are quite homophobic, and this relative tolerance might not last. Meanwhile, due to other divergences (e.g. eldritch horrors, also the government’s even worse mishandling of the 1922 Seamen's Strike and the 1925 Canton-Hong Kong Strike), the colonial administration is a lot more authoritarian than it was in real history. This growing authoritarianism is not exclusive to the colony, and is part of a larger global trend in this universe.  I realize these worldbuilding decisions above may whitewash colonialism, or come off as choosing to ignore one colonial oppression in favor of exaggerating another. Is there any advice as to how I can address this issue? (Maybe I could have my character get away by bribing the cops, though institutional corruption is more associated with the 1960s?) Thank you!

Historical Precedent for Imperialistic Gay Rights

There is a recently-published book about this topic that might actually interest you: Racism And The Making of Gay Rights by Laurie Marhoefer (note: I have yet to read it, it’s on my list). It essentially describes how the modern gay rights movement was built from colonialism and imperialism. 

The book covers Magnus Hirschfeld, a German sexologist in the early 1900s, and (one of) his lover(s), Li Shiu Tong, who he met in British Shanghai. Magnus is generally considered to have laid the groundwork for a lot of gay rights, and his research via the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft was a target of Nazi book-burnings, but he was working with imperial governments in an era where the British Empire was still everywhere. 

Considering they both ended up speaking to multiple world leaders about natural human sexual variation both in terms of intersex issues and sexual attraction, your time period really isn’t that far off for people beginning to be slightly more open-minded—while also being deeply imperialist in other ways.

The thing about this particular time period is homosexuality as we know it was recently coming into play, starting with the trial of Oscar Wilde and the rise of Nazism. But between those two is a pretty wildly fluctuating gap of attitudes.

Oscar Wilde’s trial is generally considered the period where gay people, specifically men who loved men, started becoming a group to be disliked for disrupting social order. It was very public, very scandalous, and his fall from grace is one of the things that drove so many gay and/or queer men underground. It also helped produce some of the extremely queercoded classical literature of the Victorian and Edwardian eras (ex: Dracula), because so many writers were exploring what it meant to be seen as such negative forces. A lot of people hated Oscar Wilde for bringing the concept to such a public discussion point, when being discreet had been so important.

But come the 1920s, people were beginning to wonder if being gay was that bad, and Mangus Hirschfeld managed to do a world tour of speaking come the 1930s, before all of that was derailed by wwii. He (and/or Li Shiu Tong) were writing papers that were getting published and sent to various health departments about how being gay wasn’t an illness, and more just an “alternative” way of loving others. 

This was also the era of Boston Marriages where wealthy single women lived together as partners (I’m sure there’s an mlm-equivalent but I cannot remember or find it). People were a lot less likely to care if you kept things discreet, so there might be less day to day homophobia than one would expect. Romantic friendships were everywhere, and were considered the ideal—the amount of affection you could express to your same-sex best friend was far above what is socially tolerable now.

Kaz Rowe has a lot of videos with cited bibliographies about various queer disasters [affectionate] of the late 1800s/early 1900s, not to mention a lot of other cultural oddities of the Victorian era (and how many of those attitudes have carried into modern day) so you can start to get the proper terms to look it up for yourself.

I know there’s a certain… mistrust of specifically queer media analysts on YouTube in the current. Well. Plagiarism/fact-creation scandal (if you don’t know about the fact-creation, check out Todd in the Shadows). I recommend Kaz because they have citations on screen and in the description that aren’t whole-cloth ripped off from wikipedia’s citation list (they’ve also been published via Getty Publications, a museum press). 

For audio-preferring people (hi), a video is more accessible than text, and sometimes the exposure to stuff that’s able to pull exact terms can finally get you the resources you need. If text is more accessible, just jump to the description box/transcript and have fun. Consider them and their work a starting place, not a professor. 

There is always a vulnerability in learning things, because we can never outrun our own confirmation bias and we always have limited time to chase down facts and sources—we can only do our best and be open to finding facts that disprove what we researched prior.

Colonialism’s Popularity Problem

Something about colonialism that I’ve rarely discussed is how some colonial empires actually “allow” certain types of “deviance” if that deviance will temporarily serve its ends. Namely, when colonialism needs to expand its territory, either from landing in a new area or having recently messed up and needing to re-charm the population.

By that I mean: if a fascist group is struggling to maintain popularity, it will often conditionally open its doors to all walks of life in order to capture a greater market. It will also pay its spokespeople for the privilege of serving their ends, often very well. Authoritarians know the power of having the token supporter from a marginalized group on payroll: it both opens you up directly to that person’s identity, and sways the moderates towards going “well they allow [person/group] so they can’t be that bad, and I prefer them.”

Like it or not, any marginalized group can have its fascist members, sometimes even masquerading as the progressives. Being marginalized does not automatically equate to not wanting fascism, because people tend to want fascist leaders they agree with instead of democracy and coalition building. People can also think that certain people are exaggerating the horrors of colonialism, because it doesn’t happen to good people, and look, they accept their friends who are good people, so they’re fine. 

A dominant fascist group can absolutely use this to their advantage in order to gain more foot soldiers, which then increases their raw numbers, which puts them in enough power they can stop caring about opening their ranks, and only then do they turn on their “deviant” members. By the time they turn, it’s usually too late, and there’s often a lot of feelings of betrayal because the spokesperson (and those who liked them) thought they were accepted, instead of just used.

You said it yourself that this colonial government is even stricter than the historical equivalent—which could mean it needs some sort of leverage to maintain its popularity. “Allowing” gay people to be some variation of themselves would be an ideal solution to this, but it would come with a bunch of conditions. What those conditions are I couldn’t tell you—that’s for your own imagination, based off what this group’s ideal is, but some suggestions are “follow the traditional dating/friendship norms”, “have their own gender identity slightly to the left of the cis ideal”, and/or “pretend to never actually be dating but everyone knows and pretends to not care so long as they don’t out themselves”—that would signal to the reader that this is deeply conditional and about to all come apart. 

It would, however, mean your poor boy is less likely to get a break, because he would be policed to be the “acceptable kind of gay” that the colonial government is currently tolerating (not unlike the way the States claims to support white cis same-sex couples in the suburbs but not bipoc queer-trans people in polycules). It also provides a more salient angle for this colonial government to come crashing down, if that’s the way this narrative goes.

Colonial governments are often looking for scapegoats; if gay people aren’t the current one, then they’d be offered a lot more freedom just to improve the public image of those in power. You have the opportunity to have the strikers be the current scapegoats, which would take the heat off many other groups—including those hit by homophobia.

In Conclusion

Personally, I’d take a more “gays for Trump” attitude about the colonialism and their apparent “lack” of homophobia—they’re just trying to regain popularity after mishandling a major scandal, and the gay people will be on the outs soon enough.

You could also take the more nuanced approach and see how imperialism shaped modern gay rights and just fast-track that in your time period, to give it the right flavour of imperialism. A lot of BIPOC lgbtqa+ people will tell you the modern gay rights movement is assimilationalist, colonialist, and other flavours of ick, so that angle is viable.

You can also make something that looks more accepting to the modern eye by leaning heavily on romantic friendships that encouraged people waxing poetic for their “best friends”, keeping the “lovers” part deeply on the down low, but is still restrictive and people just don’t talk about it in public unless it’s in euphemisms or among other same-sex-attracted people because there’s nothing wrong with loving your best friend, you just can’t go off and claim you’re a couple like a heterosexual couple is.

Either way, you’re not sanitizing colonialism inherently by having there be less modern-recognized homophobia in this deeply authoritarian setting. You just need to add some guard rails on it so that, sure, your character might be fine if he behaves, but there are still “deviants” that the government will not accept. 

Because that’s, in the end, one of the core tenants that makes a government colonial: its acceptance of groups is frequently based on how closely you follow the rules and police others for not following them, and anyone who isn’t their ideal person will be on the outs eventually. But that doesn’t mean they can’t have a facade of pretending those rules are totally going to include people who are to the left of those ideals, if those people fit in every other ideal, or you’re safe only if you keep it quiet.

~ Leigh

[tojirings]

to yield

pairing: toji x reader

wordcount: 5k

glimpse: toji's the world-class fighter who trains in your best friend's gym, and you're the all-rounder employee who has a crush on him.

alternatively, mma!toji wants you to stop pining for him, and you finally listen.

[ angst + fluff, So Much Yearning, unrequited love (but only initial!! 😑😑), toji's almost always a little mean whenever he turns u down, nosy as FAWKKK bff satoru, the L word, mentions of mma-related injuries, jealousy, eventual redemption ]

To yearn for Toji is light work. 

Pining after him is as easy as making up workout trivia just to get a reaction from him that isn’t a neutral quirk of his lips or a dismissive tilt of his head. You’re pretty sure you’re going overboard with said lies (the proof being you having to approach Toji without Satoru in earshot just so the latter wouldn’t burst out laughing), but Toji doesn’t seem to think so.

He’s either very clueless and actually believes you, or he’s just tolerant of your “fact” of the day despite being annoyed to death with you.

“Now where the hell did you hear that?” he narrows his eyes at you, the ghost of an amused smirk lingering in his lips the longer you look at him in anticipation for his reaction.

“Just… somewhere! I heard it’s verified information,” you smile, nodding your head to delay the incoming wave of embarrassment that you have for yourself.

“Oh, okay,” Toji parts his lips, nodding tersely. “A reputable news site really said that my grip strength is stronger than a shark’s?”

“Mhmm. You’re the strongest, I bet,” you squeak, the tremble of your hands behind your back coming to a halt when Toji has to excuse himself because Satoru hollered at him from the other side of the gym.

You’re not ready at all to confess to Toji.

Every week, from Monday to Saturday, Toji comes into your best friend’s gym with a scowl on his face as if Satoru personally provoked him one way or another (read: he did), within the window of 9 to 10 AM. Only his left hand would be occupied by his gym bag, which he leaves to you for safekeeping at the front desk instead of the locker room, because Toji would rather punch himself in the gut than to deal with overeager fanboys asking him about his fights.

Additionally, every week from Monday to Saturday, you come to the gym at 7 AM sharp, partially to clock in — but mostly to walk to the expensive coffee shop down the block to buy Toji his drink from your own pocket. Between 9 to 10 AM, Toji saunters into the gym and gives you his bag, to which you take with open arms.

Also, every week, from Monday to Saturday, you make sure that you're Toji’s first interaction of the day.

The routine you have with him (and not the other way around because he’s definitely not as involved with you than you are with him) starts with you giving him a wildcard drink that the barista recommended, then Toji either scrunching his nose in disgust or him humming in something a little bit more pleasant than disgust, then him later thanking you before giving you his standard response.

“You don’t have to do this, Y/N,” he’d say, his brows soft yet scrunched in the middle. (In other words: I don’t like you back so you don’t have to do this for me at all.)

“But I want to,” you’d reply, your smile small yet unperturbed. (In other words: I like you and I want to do this for you regardless, but a large part of me hopes that you’ll like me back.)

It’s no secret that you have a crush on Toji– not at all. Practically everyone in the gym knows how head-over-heels you are for him, and maybe even more than the fighter in question.

Satoru knows it, and he groans to no end whenever you pine for Toji like a little puppy. With each interaction you have with Toji that’s more desperate and maybe even a little more pathetic from your end than usual, Satoru wastes no time before offering to set you up with one of his friends, to which you always deny.

Shiu knows it too, and he tries to bring you up during sparring sessions with Toji that come after seeing your more helpless flirting attempts with the latter. Shiu’s actively trying to help you, Toji, and himself in the process because he can’t tell just how much secondhand embarrassment he can take before exploding.

The occasional opponents for practice matches know it. The night janitor knows it. God, even the delivery guy who’s only seen you ask Toji if he wanted water once knows it too.

Toji doesn’t like you, and while you know that fact wholeheartedly, you’ve come to realize that taking care of him in your own way is what completes your day even without getting anything in return. You know you’re bound to be sick of the one-sided yearning anyway, but while you’re not sick of fawning over Toji, you want to make the most of it.

You want to make the most of it until defeat sinks in.

Toji does not care for you — or atleast that’s what he tells everyone.

“I don’t have a crush on her. Never did,” Toji would say to Shiu every time they sparred, his words automatically flowing as soon as he sees the slightest hint of a smirk on his handler’s face. Shiu would always wave him away as usual (and that earns him an ungloved and unrestricted punch on the shoulder out of the ring), and it only makes Toji pout because even his friend doesn’t believe him.

“I don’t like girls who are so obvious,” he would mutter under his breath whenever Satoru nudges him to say thank you when you hold out a clean towel for him even if he didn’t ask. Toji appreciates the cold, fragrant, and personally-delivered-by-you towel anyway, but not enough to smack Satoru on the face with it.

“I don’t know why you’d think that,” Toji, without fail, would reply to anyone in the gym who mistakes him as your boyfriend. He’s gotten shameless with it to the point that he doesn’t mind if you hear it, but also without fail, he feels a little guilty every time.

Toji shouldn’t exactly feel guilty for not liking you back because he doesn’t owe it to you in the first place — or atleast that’s how he reasons with himself.

.

.

.

“I’m gonna stop liking him in a week, Toru. I swear. Cold turkey and everything.” 

“Yup. Sure you will, sport,” Satoru snorts at your drunken admission, kicking your knee lightly to stop you from your sulking.

He feels a little responsible for your feelings towards Toji because if only he didn’t introduce you to him, none of this would’ve happened in the first place. 

You would’ve still been his sole accountant for his gym who only dropped in every once in awhile to help manage the place whenever it was short-staffed and not this; not the multi-tasking beast that you are who’s not only his accountant, but this cheery and energized all-rounder gym employee you he didn’t ask you to be.

“No, no. I’m serious this time,” you mutter, your cheek squished to the table so you can limit yourself from saying anything else that could explain to Satoru why you were hellbent in accepting his offer to drink tonight. “I feel like a fool running after Toji.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t exactly use the word-…”

“I know you think it.”

“Fine. I do think it, but you know I mean well!” Satoru surrenders, ruffling your hair as he takes note of keeping the windows down and driving as slowly as he legally could when he takes you home tonight. “You just aren’t Toji’s type, but that’s not a bad thing, y’know? 

There’s so much more on your mind, but you’re not in the mood to think of Toji any longer because the moment you do, you’ll succumb to him again.

You want to surrender, completely and irrevocably this time, but not without the final push so you could say that you did everything and you’ll have no regrets if Toji turns you down again — or rather, when Toji turns you down again.

“If it doesn’t work out,” you hiccup, burying your face to the bulk of Satoru’s sweater so you could smell the scent of clean laundry on him instead of imagining that you’re smelling Toji’s perfume out of nowhere in the packed club. “Go set me up with your friend.”

( ♡ ) 

Toji’s a little perplexed to see you at the front desk this morning.

After all, it was only last night when he saw you at the club, looking completely spent with your head buried in Satoru’s shoulder. Toji had only nodded to him when their eyes locked, mouthing that he’s with his friends so he can’t hang back with him, and Satoru let him go without any annoying remarks because he just gestures to your sleeping figure wordlessly.

Weirdly enough, Toji didn’t get to enjoy himself last night because his eyes kept wandering to your booth.

What’s even weirder now is that not only did you come to work looking fully recovered, but Toji also hangs back for a fraction of a minute right after giving you his duffel bag.

“Hey,” he greets, smiling tightly as he tries to figure out internally on why his feet wouldn’t move at all.

“Hi, Toji,” you reply back, staying still on your seat as you try to make conversation with him, but oddly enough, no ridiculous trivia could come out of your lips.

All it takes is Satoru whistling from the breakroom for you to snap into your senses, and for Toji to realize what was missing.

You have no drink for him today.

He’s not that bothered because that means he’s not subjected to whatever overly sweet or bitter monstrosity you give him, and that could only mean that he’ll be able to skip giving you his signature rejection.

It’s a good thing for you to start giving up on him, he convinces himself.

Toji tolerates you in a way that’s unbeknownst even to you, because in the first place, you’ve convinced yourself that the crush you have on the MMA fighter isn’t that serious.

Swiping your employee card to get him a free energy drink isn’t that serious in your own perspective, but when you overheard the conversation awhile ago between Toji and Shiu (with the latter convincing him that free energy drinks equated to a marriage proposal), you started doing it for everyone. You swipe your card over and over even for the fighters you barely know, but oddly enough, Toji’s eyes twitch whenever he sees his favorite grape-flavored drink in everyone’s hands.

Offering the Bluetooth connection code to Toji for him to play whatever he wants to on the speakers may be a little serious, but you convince yourself that it really isn’t when you accidentally eavesdrop on Satoru telling him that you totally have it out for him. What you do for Toji, you start to do for everyone; it’s telling with the way your speakers announce whose phone it’s connected to every thirty minutes, but not so much telling as to why Toji’s going extra hard sparring with his handler.

Toji does not care for you — or atleast that’s what you’ve convinced yourself.

Denying his fondness for you has almost been as easy as you tamping down your adoration for him, so much so that when a new guy at the gym randomly comes up to Toji and mentions your name, he responds automatically.

“We’re not together. Go ask…” her out — that’s what Toji’s supposed to say. “I don’t know, actually. I heard she’s taken, I think,” he rectifies himself, exiting the conversation before he could be bombarded with yet another question that revolved around you.

Or another question that would only make him realize that you having eyes for only him doesn’t equate to other people backing off from that mere fact alone.

Toji doesn’t like you, but oddly enough, the fact doesn’t bother you as much lately.

( ♡ ) 

You’re on your last leg of pining for Toji.

The shame of it all is finally getting to you, seeping into your deepest crevices that had thought for the longest time that you had a fighting chance with him. You don’t exactly regret yearning for Toji because after all, it had been in your own accord, no matter the risks you’ve already taken.

Maybe, just maybe, you could only go up from here. 

Maybe, because you and Toji hadn’t been friends to begin with when you pursued him, but on the other hand, it could be your ultimate downfall because perhaps right after he turns you down this time, you won’t be able to come back to anything.

There’s no foundation built between the two of you for you to fall back on, and while that’s surely devastating for you, it would only be a walk in the park for Toji.

You’re risking it all, even if you’re just as sure that nothing will come out of this, because you know you won’t come out unscathed — when Toji finally lets you down this time, harshly like you don’t mean anything to him, you’ll know then that you did everything in your power before you gave up on him.

The omamori in your hands that you’ve planned giving to him is your only salvation, because you get to grip it and remind yourself in real time that Toji’s seething at you.

He’s been stressed since the early morning fighting with his manager who had considered fixing up a match, and despite having resolved it with Choso already even before you came into his eyesight, Toji can’t shake off the anger from his body.

You’re the first person who comes into his space and into his mind, and you’re probably the last for the day (and maybe for an unforeseen amount of time) with the way he snaps at you.

“Y/N, can you just-“ Toji sharply inhales, clenching his jaw so tightly just so he can’t make his voice any louder. “Can you just please fucking stop?”

The omamori that you’re gripping tightly in your hands, the same one that you’ve gotten for blessings and protection for his fight in a month’s time, reminds you that Toji doesn’t want anything to do with you.

“I bet you’re a nice girl and all but I just don’t want you, okay?” he nods breathlessly as if asking you for confirmation. “I don’t like you like that.”

After a year and then some of yearning for Toji, you finally yield.

( ♡ ) 

You don’t come in for work.

Your absence is easily noticed because by this hour, you should’ve been glued to your seat by the front desk, ready to stash Toji’s gym bag under your desk.

He freezes by the entrance, brows knitted in confusion to see that your spot’s empty. He and his bag have been spoiled by you to the point that Toji feels uncharacteristically displaced when he walks past your desk, with his bag and without his drink.

“Huh,” Toji mutters to himself, strolling as casually as he could to the breakroom. He’s already had breakfast and he’ll be willing to have another one if it means lingering around you today, but to his surprise (and his surprise only), you aren’t there. “That’s weird.”

Toji jolts in place when he senses an agitating presence behind him that does little to conceal his proximity behind him, fists immediately clenching when he sees Satoru lean on the wall next to him.

“Jeez. I wonder who could’ve possibly said what to Y/N that made her call in sick today,” he enunciates slowly, enough for the sarcasm to steep in and his words to absorb into Toji’s thick skull.

“What are you-…” Toji interrupts himself when he finally gets what Satoru’s pertaining to, the skip of his chest being telling about the guilt that’s been stewing at the back of his head since last night.

“You weren’t exactly discreet about it, idiot. We were in the breakroom,” Satoru rolls his eyes, standing to his full height when he sees Toji falter. “Even Shiu heard you and he has the most effective noise-cancelling headphones known to man.”

Right on cue, Shiu comes out leisurely out of the room he had been peeking at two seconds ago. It takes only a second for him to register that Toji’s outside for whatever reason (he knows exactly why) before whistling in response, the shit-eating grin on his face apparent for Toji to remember.

“Woof,” he chuckles. “Don’t go biting my head now. I bet you’re a nice guy and all.”

It’s a build-up of things since this morning, and perhaps even from last night if he counts the immediate tinge of regret that stings him when he’s seethed his rejection at you, that truly throws Toji off his game.

Maybe it’s Satoru’s repeated teasing throughout the day and his targeted material of asking whether Toji was hungry or not, right within the timeframe wherein you usually ask him if he wants to join you for a meal.

Maybe it’s Shiu’s incessant mentioning of your name throughout his workout and the convenient reminder that Toji’s working out harder than he usually does, yet there’s no cold towel waiting for him.

But really, whatever it is that just adds up to the already excessive noise in Toji’s head concerning you, he knows now more than ever that absence your absence is noticeable.

His opponent for today’s practice match knows it. The day janitor knows it. Even the delivery guy who’s only been here twice knows it.

Toji simmers in guilt except he doesn’t want to admit it just yet, full well knowing that he would have texted you an apology — if only he had your number.

( ♡ ) 

You come back after three days.

After a year and some months’ worth of excessive reminders from Satoru, you finally take into realization that you don’t have to go to work in-person as often as you do. 

You didn’t know that all it would take for you to slow down and take your much-needed break is Toji by some way (read: rejecting you so harshly that you had been mute on your way home), and you haven’t predicted at all that there’ll be a day wherein you come to work not to pursue him.

Toji immediately notices your presence because even if you were no longer perched by the front desk, it was apparent that you’re already back judging by the way everyone– and literally everyone— in the gym seemed to look at ease somehow.

You’re at the other side of the gym with the light equipment that Toji barely frequents, and it’s the way you stand and smile that makes him pause.

It’s also the way that you smile at Choso that makes Toji announce his presence loudly.

“Let me help you there, buddy,” he claps behind the guy he recognizes as one of his fans (in all fairness, Yuuji isn’t as annoying as all the others who only come here just to get a glimpse of him), startling his already trembling figure.

Toji, without any hesitation yet a lot of frustration, easily grabs the heavy barbell mid-air that Yuuji’s struggling with before dropping it to the ground as roughly as he could.

It’s too light for him. Too easy, even. 

What’s heavier for Toji at the moment is the realization that you’ve given up on him and he has no one to blame but his emotional constipation, and maybe Choso who had pissed him off prior to his tantrum at you.

You did look at Toji and the mini scene he had created, but you immediately avert your eyes as soon as he fixates on yours.

He feels untethered this way, and if the lump on his throat is omniscient of the guilt that he’s feeling yet he’s unable to put into words, Toji wants you to notice him again, tirelessly and shamelessly like you did before.

He’s not in his usual zone, so much so that he barely makes any banter with Shiu who had been talking his ear off in letting Satoru have a go at him.

Toji’s too far out of his concentration, so much so that he agrees to spar with Satoru. 

He’s been pestering him for the longest time to get in the ring with him and Toji had always declined, even if he knows that your friend could take him on to some degree. He’s turned him down again and again for even just a light sparring session, especially when you were around, because he knows that he’s your friend.

He wouldn’t want to hurt Satoru if it hurts you, except now, the difference is that the latter really wants to hurt him and the former is out of his game to the point that he’ll resort to anything just to get your attention.

Toji lands a punch so hard that Satoru audibly croaks, holding his stomach even with the padding on. You’ve always been (read: used to be) the biggest fan of Toji even in practice matches, but now, instead of cheering for him, your eyebrows knit in worry instead–

Except your concern isn’t for him.

“Satoru? You okay?” you immediately come to his side by the ring, eyes inspecting him from head to toe.

Before he could even say that he is and that he’ll get back at Toji with twice the power, Toji pipes in from behind your friend, raising a gloved hand sheepishly.

“I’m not.” 

Toji shamelessly declares his apparent hurt, making everyone nearby audibly gawk at him for his audacity. You only blink at him in the surprise, trying your earnest to see on what part and capacity could Satoru, a non-professional, has possibly injured him.

“H-he punched me by the ear,” he stutters, the lie catching onto his teeth on the way out. The embarrassment of him making up an unbelievable lie is yet to hit, but Toji wouldn’t mind either way.

“What?! I barely even hit you in the face!” Satoru reacts, his face indescribable with the way he swats Toji on the arm in disbelief.

You snort at the scene in amusement, yet your eyes stay fixated on your friend.

“Yeah, yeah. I believe you, Toru.”

( ♡ ) 

True to his word, Satoru sets you up with his friend.

It was amusing, if not mildly infuriating with regards to the universe’s fate for your heart, to learn that Suguru’s the owner of the upscale café you’ve been buying Toji’s drinks from for six out of seven days a week.

It’s actually amusing to the point that you immediately smile whenever Satoru brings up Suguru, even for no particular reason, because if only time and luck had been at your side, you would’ve met him earlier and spared yourself the heartbreak from Toji.

You know to yourself, even in the deepest pits of your stomach that would like to argue otherwise, that you would’ve like Toji regardless even if you met Suguru earlier — what irks you about the whole thing is that fate is twisted.

You’re at standstill with the guy who checks all your boxes and actually likes you back unlike Toji, except this time, you’re content at staying in whatever playful relationship that you and Suguru are in now. 

It’s not a mess per se, but it’s a playful blunder between the two of you wherein you flirt and like each other’s presence, except you’re not in a relationship at all because neither of you are in a rush.

Oddly enough, having each other while not exactly owning the other at same time is enjoyable for the both of you.

For not atleast, you and Suguru are simply fated to be a pair of flirty friends that enjoy each other’s company without having to come home at the end of the night. He has his reservations while you have yours too, but they didn’t mean anything when the other just needs another shoulder present.

Your reservations don’t matter at the moment when there’s an inner turmoil that roots from the base of your chest, simply because Satoru had made the offhand comment that Toji kept asking him about you while you weren’t around.

Your reservations don’t matter at the moment when Suguru comes at the perfect time because he’s not as familiar as the best friend you grew up with, nor is he as fond as the man you’ve spent the better part of a year crushing on and are now wanting to move on from.

“Who’s that?” Toji snaps to no one in particular, the scowl on his face off-putting and intriguing enough for Satoru to notice. He follows Toji’s line of sight, a sly smirk already building up on his face at the prospect of teasing him, even if he knows your real score with Suguru.

“Oh, that’s Suguru. He’s my friend.”

“Didn’t he use to be that defending champion or something?” Toji murmurs, crossing his arms. He vaguely recalls how he once read an article detailing the young player retiring early so he could live a normal life, hearing the name Geto every once in awhile. “Why’s he here?”

“Didn’t you say you never keep tabs on other players?” Satoru snickers, the teasing smirk apparent on his face because of Toji’s sheer bitterness. “Also, it’s my gym. He’s not allowed around here or something?”

“Whatever. Don’t care,” Toji grumbles. “I could take him in a fight. I’d probably destroy him.”

Toji feels unwell, not because he spent a solid ten minutes arguing with a defensive Satoru that keeps insisting his best friend could totally defeat him in a fight, but because throughout that time, not once did you stop smiling at whatever Suguru has to say to you.

Your eyes are practically gleaming and although he loves the sight, there’s this ache that blooms in his chest and spreads all the way to the base of his spine knowing that it’s what you had looked like in front of him for the longest time.

“I bought lunch.”

Toji approaches you as soon as Suguru goes to the bathroom, his smile gentle and hesitant. 

It’s a first for you because you usually treat him. At the start, it was you treating everyone in order not to be transparent with your crush, but there’d been a couple obvious times in which you only exerted efforts for Toji and only him.

Toji doesn’t bother with an excuse of treating everyone or that he had bought too many; he just wants to have lunch with you. “Want some?”

“No, but thank you,” you answer lowly, the shake of your head barely noticeable because you don’t want to look him in the eye.

Toji’s more confused than he is deterred, the bag in his hands suddenly weighing a ton. “But you haven’t left your desk so that means you haven’t eaten yet,” he points out. “Do you not like this type of food? If not, I could just run to the-…”

“There you are!” 

Suguru comes back, and just like that, the crumbs of attention you were giving him had been cleaned up entirely. 

“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s gooo, doll. I wanna beat everyone else to the limited specials,” Suguru ignores his obvious beating presence and practically drags you out from your chair (even though you needed little convincing), the hold he has on your wrist making Toji see red briefly.

Toji’s jaw clenches, unconsciously stepping out of the gym not long since you and Suguru rushed out, his sharp eyes following you until you both turn the corner.

It’s the same shop he got your food from.

( ♡ ) 

Toji can’t put a finger to what he’s feeling.

He feels different; the bad and dull kind of different that makes him listless and anxious no matter how much he tries to tire himself out.

He’ll subject himself to an agonizing workout with no breaks in between, but after that, he could only think about the way your bottom lip trembled at his words.

He’ll put himself through one practice match after another without any proper training, and even if Toji wins as he always does, he could only think about how he’s lost all of your affection that he had unconsciously looked forward to the entire time.

Toji finds himself lingering around you and he doesn't know if he could just continue hovering and hovering in this way; in a way that's unlike yours because you were unafraid to stand so close to him, talk to him whenever you please, and trail around him like a lost puppy in the past.

He’s upset and he doesn’t even know why he allows himself to feel that way, when for the longest time, he had convinced himself that he didn’t give you any hope so he had no reason to feel guilty about turning you down; so that he had no problem ignoring you while dealing with his constipation of not apologizing.

Toji’s upset, except he’s too self-aware to the point that it’s only his spite that keeps him awake with regret; he did give you hope. 

He didlinger around you and accept whatever you had to give him despite his lips making out the sentiment that he can never return them.

He did feel guilty at the prospect of turning you down right from the start because if that wasn’t the case, then you would have long given up on him. 

He did feel guilty about rejecting you, especially considering the fact that he wasn’t wholeheartedly sure whenever he refused your love — he still does.

“Toji?” you call out, the sound of your voice immediately startling him with the lights already dim in the breakroom. Toji only frequented the breakroom whenever you were there, and the odd, if not ironic, turn of events makes him smile humorlessly. “Are you drunk? Do you need me to call Satoru?” you ask with genuine concern, tilting your head as you try to assess his figure. “Do you want to go home?”

“Nah,” he shakes his head softly. “It’s jus’ to take the edge off. Probably easier to get a horse drunk than to get metipsy.”

You give a small smile at that, the tremble of your hands barely noticeable with the way Toji’s even more nervous than you at the realization that the two of you are alone with each other.

You’re only here because you forgot your laptop, and Toji’s only here because he doesn’t know what to make of himself because you’ve detached yourself from his routine— from his life, it seems like.

Toji looks down on his full glass, swirling it by his knee. There’s an unspeakable sorrow to his face with something about it resembling you, or atleast the resignation you felt every time Toji turned you down less than gently.

“Why don’t you like me anymore?”

Your eyes widen at the question, the words left in the tip of your tongue drying out the longer that Toji looked at you this way — like he’s stooped down to the level you used to be in, his eyes tired and glassy.

“Why don’t you like me anymore?” he repeats, mistaking the shock on your face for confusion. “If I… i-if I pretend to be drunk and ask you out, will you say yes?” Toji murmurs, using the back of his hand to clumsily get rid of the wetness that had unknowingly formed at the corners of his eyes. “Would that make you go back to liking me again?”

[lale-txt]

❉ confessing to you w/ Geto, Toji & Shiu

➸ 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏: Gojo, Nanami & Higuruma

a/n: reader is gn! obviously i lied when i said that i won't write a part 2 for this, but here we are. the scenarios plagued my mind and i had to get them out. both Toji's and Geto's part turned out a little sad and angsty, but that's what you get with those tragic chars, i guess.

❦ 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈

Toji doesn’t confess. Deep, deep down he fears that he might put a curse on you if he speaks what weighs on his heart. 

You gotta forgive him, he’s a burned child. 

He’s afraid that you’re gonna vanish once he says these words out loud; without a trace, making him wonder if you were merely a fever dream. But you’re here, next to him in the dark, the heat of your body seeping into his when you roll over in your sleep and cling to him. He has to keep you safe, it’s what his life revolves around.

Toji’s hands are surprisingly gentle when he brushes a loose strand of hair behind your ear. You wouldn’t think that the same hands were covered in blood only a few hours ago. Some days he wouldn’t stop scrubbing them until you wrapped yours around his, giving him that look that makes his heart flinch. There’s no fear in your eyes, only compassion and a calm adoration, enough to make the lump of unsaid words in his throat swell. Sometimes he wonders if he’s gonna suffocate on those one day; if you’ll be able to forgive him for loving you, for touching you with those bloodstained hands, for engraving himself into your being.

He hopes you know. You do, don’t you? You wouldn’t curl up besides him otherwise, tangled in sheets he’ll never stay too long because he fears his world will melt down to just the two of you. So he keeps his gun on the nightstand and one foot out of the door, but his eyes will always dart back to your sleeping figure. You mumble out his name in your sleep and Toji responds by pulling you closer to him, only for a moment, holding his breath when you stir awake for a heartbeat. 

Maybe he can love you in between.

In those split seconds when you’re not asleep but not awake either; neither dreaming nor conscious. Not in this life, not in the next one. But in another life, when the stars have aligned and lead you back into his arms. Maybe he can hold you without worrying about staining your soul, your heart; maybe then he can kiss you with the absence of fear. Until then he’ll bite his tongue till he draws blood, choking on the words he chose not to say.

You will forgive him, won’t you? 

❦ 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎

In the dark and hazy mind of Geto, you’re the golden light that always guides him back to life. Even though fears he’ll dim you once he encases you, he can’t stay away from you for too long, your warmth way too addicting to him. You never push him away, instead you open your arms to embrace him. It’s as if you’re blinded by your own light, choosing not to see the sins he had committed because it would mean you’d have to stop loving him, and that would mean your whole world would simply fall apart; it’d mean Geto would fall apart.

Geto never asks for much. He did once and maybe that’s the heaviest burden he has to carry; that night when he showed up at your doorstep, asking you to leave everything behind and come with him. It was selfish, he knows that much. But how could you have denied him anything, when both his voice and heart were close to breaking, when he mumbled your name like an apology, his hands trembling till the moment you wrapped yours around them?

It’s too late now, and saying those words out loud now would feel like a binding vow, destroying you in the end. He can’t do that to you. Not to the person who saw the core of his soul and still chose to stay by his side, over all these years. Not budging, not complaining.

An unconditional love with eyes closed. A black hole where his heart is supposed to be, from dusk but never to dawn; while you’re burning brighter than a thousand suns. Maybe he has always been in your orbit, inevitably drawn to you.

When Geto trails kisses from your fingertips to your wrists, he can’t help but wonder when the day will come when he’ll slip through these fingers and plunge into darkness. He imagines your desperate cries and the scratch marks on his skin when you attempt to pull him back, back to the light, back to you. One day, it will be too late, he’s sure of that. His end won’t be a kind one. 

All he can hope for is your forgiveness when he places his bleeding heart in your open palms, and that you’ll swallow him whole like he did with the burden of never being able to openly telling you how deeply, madly he loved you.

❦ 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐔

Whenever he pulls up in the driveway, Shiu can’t help but wonder if you’re gonna be there, waiting for him at his doorstep with that mischievous grin of yours. You’re just a neighbor who he occasionally shares a cigarette with, he keeps telling himself, knowing it’s a full blown lie at this point. 

You’re tugging at his heart strings, night for night. Sometimes the thought of you just lying a few meters away from him, on the other side of a wall, drives him insane. You should be here, in his bed, in his arms. His sheets should smell like you in the morning, not like this creeping loneliness. Yet he never invites you inside and you never dare him to, like a stray cat tiptoeing at the edge of an open door, hoping for sweet treats and head scratches. It’s a game you’re both playing.

“My sweet,” he mumbles in that raspy voice you’ve learned to love so much when he spots you sitting at your familiar spot. Without hesitation he takes off his suit jacket and puts it around your shoulders. He never asks how long you’ve been sitting and waiting there for him, but he can easily tell from your cold fingertips when you hand him the lighter. Just a neighbor.

Inviting you in would mean something more than just opening the door. Within his profession, you don’t do love. There’s simply no room for it. Affection is exchanged through bundled yen notes and comes with fake laughter and lots of regret and headache in the morning. It’s just how things go. It’s the life Shiu chose for himself.

So why did his heart yearn so much for you? He should break this up before it even gets started. But he cannot, not when you inch closer while you talk, until your knees and your shoulders are touching, and the smoke from your shared cigarette is blown from lips to lips, as if you’re both testing just how close you can get before the resilience crumbles.

Maybe a kiss won’t hurt. Shiu knows that the lies he tells himself are piling up at this point. Of course it will hurt. A simple kiss won’t satisfy him, he’ll always find himself craving for more of you. A kiss first, then waking up by your side while you’re wearing his shirt that hugs your figure so nicely and next thing he’ll catch himself staring at the displays of the jewelry store, thinking which ring he should get you.

No, he can’t do that. He shouldn’t. And yet still, he cups your face so gently, lifting your chin up and catching your gaze. So let it hurt, he thinks to himself, before leaning in to kiss you, softly and deeply.

[variousqueerthings]

this year am going to be reading these three books

Der Liebe und Dem Leid: Das Institut für Sexualwissenschaft 1919-1933: a recent historical account of the institute for sexology in the Weimar Republic -- I really want to read more German books about it, and I’m sure there’s more than just this one

Sex and the Weimar Republic: German Homosexual Emancipation and the Rise of the Nazis: which explores intersectional fights for queer emancipation during the Weimar Republic and its limitations

Racism and the Making of Gay Rights: A Sexologist, His Student, and the Empire of Queer Love: which goes deeper into the story about Magnus Hirschfeld and one of his lovers, Li Shiu Tong, who was an impressive researcher and one of the survivors from the destruction of the institute, the Nazi regime, and the later severe criminalisation of homosexuality in Germany (he was Chinese-Canadian and so was able to not return to Germany)

in connection with the latter two, am listening to this podcast interview with the author, Laurie Marhoefer, and highly recommend even just the podcast, because of the way that it highlights that the fight for queer rights was always heavily entwined with the rights for sex-workers, and questions about assimilation that have existed for at least 100 years in what we today call the LGBT and queer communities

and am going to be sleuthing heavily on the Magnus Hirschfeld Society website

if anyone has any other books (especially by German academics/authors/etc) please feel free to share!

[szasfuckingwife]

GUESS WE BOTH AIN’T SH*T

YAKUZA!TOJI FUSHIGURO X FEM!READER

SYNOPSIS: YOU AND TOJI’S RELATIONSHIPS HAS SEEN ITS FAIR SHARE OF ARGUMENTS. AFTER HE CHEATS, AND AFTER YOU DO THE SAME, YOU ARE REMINDED OF WHAT DREW YOU TO HIM INITIALLY.

WARNINGS: Smut, Swearing, Toxic relationship, Toji Fushiguro

It’s 11pm at night and you are sat in Toji’s bathtub. He’s been out all night, leaving you in his luxurious apartment alone. When it comes to you and Toji, things are certainly complicated. There are those nights where you’re both laid up on his (extra) king sized bed and he’s promising you marriage, kids and a better life.

But there are also nights like when he called you whilst another girl’s mouth was around his dick. It alright though because you made it equal by sleeping with one of his partners.

That was just how you and Toji operated: he’d cheat, you’d cheat back, he gets jealous, you get angry at his jealousy.

Then, you fuck, he gets you flowers and jewellery and repeat!

As you soak yourself in the bathtub, a twang of sadness upsets you. The thought of such a toxic relationship never crossed your mind when you were younger. Toji was so sweet in the beginning, what went wrong?

Suddenly, you hear the door slam. Knowing that your boyfriend is home, you take another sip of your wine before getting out of the bath.

“Babe?”, he yells to no answer. You roll your eyes and wrap your naked body with the fluffy white robe.

The raven haired man smirks as he sees you walk towards him, “How’s my girl?”. His open arms are slapped away by you, earning a grunt.

Toji’s not one to back down from a challenge, especially from you. He watched as you put the wine bottle back in it’s cabinet, chuckling at how you can’t quite reach the top.

“Don’t wanna ask for help?” Toji asks, taking off his jacket. “What’s up with you?”

You scoff, “What’s up with me? Seriously? It’s almost midnight.”

A sigh escapes his lips. He knows exactly how to make you putty in his hands, but you don’t let him, “I was caught up… business-”

“You can cut all that bullshit right now because Sukuna said you were at the club.” You cut him off.

He stands across from you with a smirk on his face. For the first time in years, Toji Fushiguro was silenced. He had nothing to say, no excuses, nothing. “Sorry?”

“Fuck you.” Every emotion within you is amplified by his stupid response. Why does he have to look so good whilst being so annoying? It’d be a lie to say you hate him, you love him more than life but it’s like he wanted you to hate him.

Toji follows you to the bedroom, trying to grab your arm when you pull away, “Babe, look at me. Stop. Stop!”

“You always do this shit, Toji! Just tell me, were you fucking someone else tonight?!”

A scoff erupts from his mouth. You must be stupid if you think you can challenge him, Toji thinks. “You’re forgetting that you were the one who actually fucked someone else first.”

He meets the back of your head as you begin to pace around the room. Toji knows exactly what buttons to press and on any other day, his teasing would get you wet. But not today. “You called me whilst getting head from a bitch!”

“You sent me a video of you fucking Shiu!” He chuckles, “We’re even!”

You roll your eyes, “That was an accident! Toji, get over it!”

Another chuckle emits from him, “And if a girl sucked my dick tonight, that was an accident too…”

He watched as you open your mouth to say something but he quickly stops you, “But no one sucked my dick! You need to trust me, Y/N.”

“Fuck off. I’ll never trust you!” With some bravery, you get into Toji’s face, as if you’re trying to intimidate him. If Toji wasn’t so pissed off, he’d laugh at how cute you look. But Toju was mad, fuming even.

“And I could never marry a bitch like you-” “Thank God!” You smirk, “Shiu’s cock was bigger anyway-”

Suddenly, Toji’s lips press against yours, forcibly. His kisses aren’t as soft and chaste as you remember, this one feels like he hates you. And, honestly, something inside you feels like you hate him.

But you kiss him anyway.

The feeling of his lips on yours is short as he finds his way to your neck. His hands quickly travel to the strings of your robe, unravelling it to expose your naked, scented, smooth body.

“Fuckin hell…” he whispers. “You’re so sexy, baby..”

“Shut up..!” You moan lowly as you feel his hands on your breasts. He slowly guides you to the bed, pushing you back and spreading your legs.

Both of your eyes are locked on each other as he licks the tips of his fingers and slowly circles your clit. A whimper leaves your lips at the feeling of Toji. As previously stated, Toji knows exactly what buttons to press.

“Toji….fuck!”

“It feels good, huh, baby?” He whispers in your ear as his fingers pick up the pace. By now, you’re practically soaking the sheets. The pleasure that your boyfriend was giving you mixed with the feeling of jealousy made you feel much more weak than you did before.

“You see, this is how it is with you. You can’t have your cake,” He halts his movements, “And eat it too…”

You whine loudly, “Toji..”

This is exactly what Toji did best, punish you. You had another mans dick in you and ‘accidentally’ sent him the video of it?

Yes, he said it’s all in the past. Yes, it happened months ago. But Toji can forgive. What he can’t do is forget.

The sadistic Yakuza boss continued his game with you. Edging you until you felt close to making a mess all over his silk sheets just before pulling away and ripping that feeling away from you.

It wasn’t long before you were a fucked out mess below him. “I need to cum, Toji. Please, I’m sorry…” a helpless cry came out of you.

All he had to do was kiss your forehead and you knew that he’d finally grant you your wish.

He lowered himself in line with your sopping, wet pussy before hungrily eating you out. You could feel his tongue inside you whilst his other hand was still focused on your clit.

Involuntarily, your hand seeps it’s way into his messy locks, gripping them tightly. You can feel his smirk against your sex as you chant for him to ‘not stop’.

And, as before, Toji grant’s your wish.

“I’m cumminnngh..!” You moan uncontrollably. His tongue is still relentless in fucking you. The feeling of cumming isn’t new to you, especially when Toji’s mad. There’s an extra sense of passion involved.

As Toji slowly rose back up to your face, you notice how your slick glistens on his face. He looks so beautiful like this, you think. Immediately, his lips are on yours, the taste of yourself lingering on both your lips.

“See what you do to me? Hm?” He says in between kisses, “Take your ass to bed…”

However, something sparks inside you when he says that. You can’t just let him win. He’ll be a cocky bastard in the morning. You have to put him in his place.

You discreetly find a way to get on top of him mid make out, his hands gripping your sides. You felt every fibre of clothing on him, especially against your skin.

It irked you so badly, you wanted to feel his skin, his scars, his tattoos. Everything about him was everything you’ve ever dreamed for in a man.

“I want this off,” You whisper against his lips, tugging at his bottoms, “Now..”

He does as you say almost instantly, his thick cock springing out in the process. “You got hard from us arguing..?”

“As if you didn’t practically squirt in my mouth after we argued.”

Touché.

With one hand behind you, you aligned his hard cock to your pussy, slowly pushing it in. A satisfied moan escaped both of your lips, this was that feeling you both were yearning for.

All the sass, the arguments, the lying, name calling…you know why you stay with him, for moments like this.

Toji’s hips roll up into yours, hitting you exactly where you want it. You take his hand and put some of his fingers in your mouth, sucking them.

But then, you placed your hands on his shoulders and began to ride him feverishly. Toji was in awe of how energetic you were, and how the plush of your ass looked in the mirror behind.

“Shit, Y/N…”

“Can those bitches do it like me…?” You whisper in his ear.

“I don’t let them…this is all yours..” He whimpers back to you.

You smile knowing damn well you won.

[miyukisu]

All Over Me .ᐟ

❤︎ | Amidst the cruelty of the world, he's your therapy ╰ feat. toji fushiguro x afab! reader

tags - based on Therapy by Khalid, friends with benefits, angst, p*rn with plot, yearning, toxic-ish relationship, both of them have self-destructive habits, drinking, drunk sex, non-jjk au but Toji remains an assassin, soft dom! Toji, sweet & passionate sex, shower sex, creampies, overstimulation, happy ending, mentions of blood and injuries but not from the sex, second chances, praise, p in v

minors do not interact

They say that time heals all wounds. But you've ceased to believe that. The gaping emptiness in your heart has never seemed to fix itself no matter how long you waited.

But there were rare moments when it felt fine—when your heart felt full enough that it could burst. Temporary fix was what it was. But it was better than nothing at all. You found solace in the one person that you shouldn't. But again, it was better than nothing at all.

You watched as he got up and sat by the edge of the bed, preparing to leave. As much as you loved his broad back and the way his muscles rippled every time he moved, you hated to see it like this—as a sign of his impending departure.

"You're leaving?" you ask as if this wasn’t a regular occurrence. But you still ask the same question each time and he answers every time. It's the same thing no matter what; Toji fucks you real good and leaves right after.

He picks up the black shirt that was discarded to the side before the two of you got frisky. Toji easily slid it back on his hulking frame. And maybe it’s because you were fucking with no strings attached that you oddly felt aroused and sad at the same time. The way he dressed up to leave was effortlessly hot—in fact, anything that Toji Fushiguro did, you found it hot. But that never changed the fact that he always would leave you high and dry.

A soft and almost disappointed sigh left his scarred lips. “Yeah. I gotta go,” he replies flatly.

Every inch he takes farther from you—a part of your heart hollows. And recently, you’ve been feeling as if there was a piece of your heart that never felt filled up like it used to. There was always something missing.

It’s not like you didn’t know what it was. You did know and that part is what scared you the most… because you were sure you have fallen in love with Toji Fushiguro. The missing piece that you were secretly craving for was his love—pure, unadulterated love. The same love both of you agreed to never fall into.

But here you were.

Usually when he said he was leaving, that was the end of it. No more words were to be exchanged. But tonight was different.

“I’m not coming back after this,” he adds. He was as straightforward as one can be, yet the thought couldn’t fully sink in to you. No, you didn’t want it to sink in. It had to be fake or you swear you’d die.

You open your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Any logical argument flew right out the window the moment he said he’d never return. “What? What do you mean! Toji? But we were… we were doing okay? Right?” you asked rather desperately. “Right?”

“Do you love me?”

The question was heavy—too fucking heavy for you to handle. But you figured what would happen next lies in how you choose to answer his question. You knew the right answer—the one that would make him stay.

But by God; you cannot find it in yourself to lie to him and especially to yourself. You loved him. That was the fact of the matter, regardless of how hard you try to deny it.

However, soon as you uttered the word "yes" —Toji Fushiguro was out the door and out of your life.

────────────

Toji thought he had made the right decision. All of a sudden, Shiu was dumping so much work on him that he had to work until the late hours of the evening. He wouldn't really have time to visit you anyway. So it all worked out in the end.

But those were thoughts he conjured up to comfort himself. He didn't really believe that he had gone down the right path with you.

Or maybe it was some kind of withdrawal? Perhaps the sex was too fucking good that now he wasn't getting it—he was starting to feel miserable. It was the same as the time he quit drinking or the time he quit gambling.

Then, he wondered when he let go of those things.

"Ah... it was because of her," he thought to himself. He inadvertently became a better person because of the woman he claimed he only slept with.

Toji felt awful for making you feel like it was your fault everything fell apart—when in fact he was the one who fell hard. He was the one who was afraid that his feelings would fuck everything up.

Both of you break rules. Both of you were very very miserable people. And maybe that's why you two go so well together.

────────────

Toji knew he was fucked in the head. He had to be. After all, he did kill people for a living. But also because he was currently walking up to your apartment at 2 in the morning covered in his own blood.

He didn't care if anyone saw him or if you figure out his line of work. All he knew in his head—no, his heart—that he wanted to see you.

The feeling that he had been seeking out for weeks finally filled him to his very bones now that he stood in front of you. He was sure that you'd be asleep, but you answered your door way too fast. Behind you, he can see the glass of whiskey you had been nursing before he came over. It broke his heart a bit that you returned to drinking most likely because of him.

You weren't sure what to feel. On one hand, the man you dreamt of every night of coming back did come back—knocking at your door, asking for forgiveness. But on another, he was fucking covered in blood.

"W-what happened to you?"

"I kill people for a living," he says, not wanting to beat around the bush anymore. "It's mine. Don't worry," he adds, referring to the blood that had dried and painted his body—as if that makes things any better.

Rather than be scared like every other person would be, all your brain did was justify him. The real world was cruel; people like him had to exist. People just live too much of a comfortable life that jobs like these scare them before considering the nuances. Maybe he killed bad people specifically. That was okay, right?

It had to be. You wanted nothing more than to have him again. Every fiber of your body told you so.

Maybe you were fucked in the head too.

────────────

Did it make you a bad person for feeling so good in his arms? With his lips on yours and his hands groping very part of you that he could? Probably. But you could care less.

The warm water of the shower trickled down your entangled bodies. Not much of cleaning was done when the both of you were too busy making out and making up for lost time. Truth be told, it was crazy how both of you just made your way here without much words exchanged.

It was like you just knew—his sins had to be washed away and you had to be in each other's presence again.

"I can't take it anymore," he whispered in your ear. Toji grabbed the flesh of your thigh, lifting your leg up and hooking it around his waist. His aching cock teased your dripping entrance.

Oh, how he missed this feeling.

There was a sense of desperation and need with the way he sunk himself into you so quickly. He sheathed everything right away without a second thought. After not feeling his cock for a few weeks, the abrupt stretch was painfully good.

He had to go faster. He lifted your other leg up, now hooking both around his waist so you hovered in the air. Toji held you up easily by the ass—big calloused hands gripping on your smooth silky skin.

He fucked into you without a care in the world. If anything, all that mattered in the moment was for him to chase that high that he missed. Every hard thrust he gave you earned a new scratch on his back from your nails.

Toji was relentless with how he pounded his cock into your weeping pussy—that all you could do was to hold on to him for dear life. A string of moans and curses left your lips and they went straight to his ears, urging him to go even faster.

You were louder than usual since you were a bit tipsy from the whiskey, but more so because he was fucking you so good. You hoped that the sound of the running water would mask a bit of your noises.

It was like your cunt had memorized the shape, the curve, and every vein of his dick. You were made for each other, more ways than one.

"Fuckkk," he groaned. "You missed this, baby? 'Cuz I sure fucking did."

A breathless moan came out of you rather than a coherent answer. It hasn't even been 15 minutes and you were already out of it. "Hah... yes. Missed this. Missed you."

Toji felt a bit ridiculous how his balls tightened and his cock twitched at your sweet words. It only confirmed his feelings. What he was feeling right now wasn't merely lust, but also love. To show you his sincerity, he made sure to shoot his load deep within you—right where you can feel it.

────────────

He was feeling more generous than usual today. And by that he meant he needs to fill you up even more. Though it was hardly an excuse for him just wanting to wrap his dick with the warmth of your pussy.

The fact that both of you were still wet from the shower became an afterthought as he carried you to bed. It was going to get drenched anyway. Besides, he was starting to feel confined in the small shower space. He had a primal need to bend you over backwards, to fuck you senseless in every way that he possibly could.

"Don't hafta move for me, alright? Lemme take care of you hm?" he gently whispered in your ear. He let you be a pillow princess for the night as a way to atone for his mistake. His pretty lady was about to get nothing else but unsullied pleasure.

He softly bit into your neck before sliding his cock right back where it belonged. Toji felt strange that louder groans were leaving his lips, hence the need to bite your neck, your shoulders, and especially your chest.

His pace never slowed as his lips roamed your upper half. He left marks all over because he thought it would make him feel better—to see the proof that you were all his. He rolled your sensitive nipple between the pads of his fingers, wanting to push you further.

"Keep making those sounds. Fuck. I won't last long if you're like this."

Without warning, he slid out momentarily to flip you over. Your cheek was now pressed against the damp sheet of your bed while he held up your ass in the air. He meant it when he said you didn't have to move at all.

He gripped your waist so tightly that you were sure it would leave marks, but that wouldn't be the first time it happened.

He easily slid his cock right back in, rearing to thrust mindlessly into you again. But before that, he leaned down and pressed gentle kisses on your nape—all the way down to your back. Once he was satisfied, he began to snap his hips against you.

Toji was able to go faster now that you were on the bed. It left you a drooling and moaning mess. He let go of your hips, deciding to plant one hand on the mattress beside your head while the other slithered down to play with your neglected clit.

Toji was a man of many talents, but he was certainly the best at fucking your pussy and toying with your clit at the same time. You don't think any other man could fuck you as good as he does. And you might be right.

For some reason, he too was feeling extra sensitive. Maybe those lonely nights he spent fisting his cock to the memories of you two just weren't enough to satisfy him completely. He wanted this. He needed this.

He leaned down, almost crushing you with his weight as he wrapped his thick arms around your waist. He wanted to feel all of your warmth and inhale your scent while he pounded into you.

"Toji... so good. You fuck me so good."

"Yeah? You think so?" Another groan leaves him. "Pussy takes me in so well... makes me think we're made for each other hm?"

Hearing him say that made your pussy clamp down on him. And you know he felt it with the way he squeezed you even more with his arms. He was totally overwhelming you, but you weren't one to complain.

A small smile crossed his lips once he felt your sweet pussy flutter around him. He missed this feeling too.

"You gonna cum for me now? C'mon let it all out. You deserve it."

And you did while screaming his name. You came so violently that your vision went white and blurry for a moment. Tears rolled down your eyes, overjoyed with the intense orgasm, but more so because of his sweet words.

He hasn't said it yet, but you knew that you felt the same way for each other.

Though he wasn't done yet. He was far from done.

You were still reeling from the mind blowing orgasm he gave you when he peeled your body off of the bed. Toji kept his arms wrapped snugly around your body as made both of you kneel upright on the mattress.

One hand held you by the waist while the other roughly cupped one breast. Now that you've came more than once, he was free to chase his own climax.

He kept fucking into you—wanting nothing else but to cum buckets into your pussy. He couldn't help but bite into your shoulder again, trying to suppress the embarrassing sounds he threatened to spill out.

Your ass was starting to hurt from all the skin slapping against each other and your cunt was overstimulated as ever. He was breaking you, but you loved every second of it.

"I'm so close, ma... Tell me that you love me. Tell me," he commanded.

"I love you... so so much. I love you, Toji."

Shit. He wasn't strong enough to resist that. Ropes of cum filled your cunt. Toji held you down on his dick as if you were going to escape from him. He rode out his high, letting his cock twitch inside you until nothing was left of him.

────────────

Once you realized that you had passed out, a sinking feeling filled your chest. You were scared to be met in an empty and dirtied bed—alone like before.

But you were surprised to feel clean and dry sheets against your skin. But most of all, you were happy to see him beside you, asleep and with the most relaxed expression you've seen on him.

You could sleep soundly again knowing that he would stay for good this time.

©kzyluvr do not repost/reupload/translate any of my works on other platforms

╰ author's note hmm, I guess I'm kinda happy with this. I hope I did him justice

[lilacxquartz]

lilac’s bite sized jjk yandere nightmares masterlist

about: exploring darker yandere with short stories/8 chapters max fics—updated every monday with sometimes a break if a chapter/story needs more time.

tw: some of these works will be very intense, the generalised tag is dead dove, but the specific warnings will be listed in the work or chapter as it gets updated. links lead to ao3 as well as tumblr.

ao3 • main masterlist

blessed with blue • tumblr link

angel satoru gojo x mortal reader

to save a broken soul • tumblr link

suguru geto x cursed spirit reader

pretty little trinket

harpy shoko x human reader

beyond hellfire

true form sukuna x reader

haunted memories

kenjaku x vessel reader

limited edition doll

mahito x reader

frozen in time

mad scientist uraume x reader

symbiosis

(turning) zombie choso kamo x reader

entombed

yuki tsukumo x reader

damsel in distress

king kento nanami x peasant reader

in my web

monster utahime x adventurer reader

passenger princess

shiu kong x reader

the lies we tell

higuruma hiromi x reader

never let you go

ghoul naoya x widowed reader

too pretty to die

takuma ino x reader

[heian-era-housewife]

I lied. I can't do it. My brain is soup and I'm falling asleep. Shiu's aquarium date will have to wait another day.

But I leave you all with this:

Gege's fish-face Choso and my version with Shiu. Goodnight ~