#life is a series of events and sometimes those events are unfair and mean and push someone deeper and deeper into a pit

[syncrovoid-presents]

Hazbin Hotel thoughts (with a splash of vague theories) (Alastor edition)

Something that is super fascinating about how Alastor's character has been left highly up to interpretation is that, before these next episodes at least, it's not entirely clear what his motives are.

We know he is a skilled manipulator, a master of wording things in his favour to get the deals he wants. We know he's a serial killer that puts the laughter in slaughter, yet still has a variation of a moral code. We know he has ties, likely to lilith (though personally I really hope it ends up that he made a deal before he died for power, which now haunts him in hell).

We know that he partly protects the hotel because it's where he has a new radio broadcaster, but his protection of it could be protection for him, for what demon would mess with a friend (father figure?) of the princess of hell? Even Lucifer can't actually hurt him without hurting Charlie, regardless of how authentic Alastor is towards her.

Is his song purely to manipulate Charlie into feeling safer around him? Is he slowly wearing down her defenses so she may accidentally (or even purposefully) make a deal with him? It's clear from the dialogue and interactions that he's not incorporating himself much into the group, and we still don't know what's up with his radio broadcasting system being up once more.

There's so many ways it can be interpreted, but it's fun to have a character that is both mysterious but also bound to a set of morals he doesn't care to explain. He is the master of his own life, and (likely) sees others as lesser because they're weaker/manipulatable/"stupid". Yet his morals are just present enough that he could find it dishonorable to destroy demons that have, perhaps in his eyes, given up power for a chance at redemption.

There's also other questions around his character too, my biggest one being whether he has 1 power source or two? Many times we see his power/magic manifest as red hues (symbols specifically), similar to how he wears all red. Other times it is green, which may or may not be tied to his "neon" colours. Is it because red and green are complimentary but conflicting? Is it to show that one power is fully his and the other is not? Does the neon represent a lack of truthfulness or him acting outside of his true wishes? Because the only time we've really seen it is when he is saying (somewhat) nice things in very specific situations.

Does Alastor know Vaggie is/was an angel? He didn't like her in the pilot, and its unclear whether their strained dynamic is because Vaggie wants to protect Charlie and it is one sided, or if Alastor knows and is waiting for the perfect moment to use that against her, perhaps for a deal?

Also his only songs so far have been him just taking over someone else's song. How petty and silly of him. Can't wait to see what he has planned next!

Who knows! Either way Hazbin Hotel is a very fun show and I'm so excited for the next episodes!!

[audreyscribes]

Ω PJO DEMIGOD HEADCANONS: ⚖ NEMESIS: Goddess of Balance, Retribution, and Vengeance wheel ♎

Author's note: Hello everyone! In lieu of posting the major gods demigod headcanons, here is the minor gods version! As usual these headcanons will contain what it's like being claimed and what it's like for the respective god and cabin, followed by a small story between you, the reader, and the respective demigod of that god. Thank you for reading and please like and reblog! [PJO MINOR GODS DEMIGOD HEADCANONS MASTERLIST] Disclaimer: To new fans or strictly TV watchers of the PJO series, future spoilers for the entire PJO series books will be referenced. Read at your own risk.

When you get claimed, it’s usually after one of the following: when you help exact revenge, serve justice, or rage vengeance. Of course when you hear those words, you’re going to think you have to do one of those large, epic moments but in reality, it’s pretty simple. That can be catching something unfair, doing what is right, getting back at your opponent, or simply saying No to something when it is unjust. When you get claimed, something feels balanced within you.

If you have some reservations about being a child of Nemesis, one of your half-siblings tells you it is an honour to be a child of Nemesis. Not just because Nemesis and what she stands for is important, if not sometimes harsh, but because Ethan Nakamura. You’re told about the tale of Ethan and who he was, how he was one of the inspirations for Percy to make the gods vow to claim their children and why the Minor gods have a cabin. You’re even shown the portrait of Ethan at his own altar in the cabin, as a reminder of his sacrifice and his life. If you’re lucky enough, Percy Jackson introduces himself and welcomes you himself to the Nemesis Cabin, just saying something “it was just right”. 

However, following that, they also warn you ‘an eye for an eye’ is more than what the eye can see. 

If you weren’t ambidextrous before, you are now. 

You’re always perfectly balanced and symmetry is important to you. Being fair is also an important factor in your life and one way or another, it will be done. 

Because of the domain Nemesis presides over, your cabin becomes a place that acts like a court. You and your siblings often get asked to preside or become mediators in arguments, and be the verdict who is the wrong and who is right. But the deciding factor is always fair. This also means you can pick out lies, though probably not to the extent of a child of Apollo.

You become a believer in working hard for your efforts, and you reap the rewards. If you’re not paid or treated fairly, everyone looks out. 

You know other people’s hubris by nature of Nemesis’s domain, so you know to be careful of ignorance and being modest. Just because you know other’s hubris, doesn’t mean you don’t have one. 

Given Nemesis is also known to be a distributor of fortune, neither good nor bad, the Nemesis Cabin has a connection with the Tyche Cabin, the goddess of Fortune and Luck. 

This isn’t a common fact, but Nemesis’ chariot is pulled by Griffins and you have a certain connection with them. If you manage to get your hands on a gryphon, and tame it, fairly, you’re allowed to ride them in camp. Just, don’t let them go near the Pegasus. Otherwise you’re going to get a long, stern lecture from Butch Walker. He’s still mad that one of the Nemesis children’s gryphons hurt Rainbow Dash. 

Speaking of pets and animals, you all have a goose or geese as its Nemesis’ animal. If you have encountered geese before or played the goose game, you know it’s a perfect fit. There has been one time, the Golden Goose, that lays the golden egg; however, it comes and goes as it pleases. Some of your siblings think it is Nemesis herself but who knows? Just don’t give any of the geese a knife or sword or weapon of any kind. Please, no one has recovered from that catastrophic event yet. The Apollo cabin doesn’t want a repeat of reattaching limbs by goose related causes any time soon, even if Paulo said he was okay.

When you get claimed, the feeling of being claimed is being merged with the sweet feeling of catharsis. You got back at one of the campers who has been mercilessly bullying you and trying to establish themselves as bigger than you. Everything came to a head when the two of you were put in a spar and all the time you’ve been honing your weapon skills and observing your opponent, you’ve finally had a perfect opportunity to exact your revenge. 

When you were given the moment to go, you readied your weapon, kept your grip firm, and attacked back. You pushed forward with anger and retribution as you swung and moved. You pushed your opponent further and further into a corner, and you kept knocking them onto their back, knees, and hands. You purposefully showed yourself drawing it out, showing them what it was like to be bullied and what it was like to be on the other end of their act; making them feel helpless, fearful, and shamed.

You decided to finish drawing out their punishment as you were declared the winner. People cheered for you, some louder who were once at your position, and as you raised your weapon in the air in victory, everyone gasped out and cheered harder as they saw the claim of Nemesis floating upon your head. 

You stared up wide-eyed at the claim as the announcement of your claim was yelled out for everyone to hear. You felt your mouth sour slightly as you remembered faintly from your mythology lessons about who Nemesis was. You weren’t entirely sure if you followed Nemesis’ reputation and domain. 

You see a boy come towards you as he looks you up and down before nodding in approval. “You’re definitely showed that you are a child of Nemesis. You delivered their punishment fairly and didn’t take it too far” he complimented. 

“Thanks…but I’m not sure if being a child of Nemesis can be entirely a good thing” you said truthfully, shrugging as you did. 

The guy rolled his eyes as he put his hands on his hips. “Nemesis isn’t an evil god and she’s just as important, like Ares either. The same goes for being her child. In fact it’s an honour” he said. 

“How?” you asked confused.

Damien smirked before he gestured for you to follow. “Because I’m also a child of Nemesis too. My name is Damien White, and I’m also the cabin leader for the Nemesis Cabin” he introduced before taking you to the cabin. You didn’t get a chance to look at the building before he opened it and guided you to a portrait inside. You saw a japanese looking boy who seemed a bit cold, especially with an eyepatch but clearly he was important with the amount of flowers and offerings that laid on the table below his portrait. 

“This was Ethan Nakamura, a child of Nemesis. He was the one who made a deal with our mother that brought back balance and helped inspire the hero Percy Jackson of the 2nd Titan War, where he used his divine wish to the gods to recognize the minor gods and their children in camp. His sacrifice is why the Nemesis cabin, and the other cabins are here” told Damien as he looked at the portrait of Ethan. He then turned to you, “Being a child of Nemesis is just as the same as the other demigods, but it’s more of an honour because our former brother.” 

You felt better as you nodded. “It might take a while to wrap my head around it but... I’m glad we’re related to such a demigod.”

Damien grinned and nodded, before he guided you out of the cabin, “Come on, I’ll help you grab your stuff from the Hermes cabin and get you settled in your new place.”

You nodded and when you had packed your stuff up, Damien grabbed your stuff for you to let you and another recently claimed demigod say goodbye to the Hermes cabin members, who was just claimed as a child of Tyche. They left first, since they came a bit earlier and their cabin leader was waiting for them outside. By the time you finished saying goodbyes, you came out to see your cabin leader arguing with a girl, who was also with the new child of Tyche. 

You saw Damien and the girl yelling at each other, almost getting into their faces and you thought of stepping forward to intervene, lest a cabin war breaks out. You don't know if it's a thing but you're not going to wait and find out. Before you could though, you're interrupted by a voice, 

“Oh don't worry about it, those two always argue with each other but they don't ever take it too far” you heard. 

You turned and saw a boy, with brown hair and blue eyes. He seemed familiar but you weren't sure where though. 

“Are you sure?” you said, looking at the two arguing people. 

The boy nodded as he took out his ukelele, plucking a few strings. Something to shift in the air, as you thought “Oh he's a child of Apollo maybe”. As if he heard your thoughts, you jumped when he turned to you with a smirk.

“The girl you see Damien arguing with is Chiara Benevnuti, daughter and cabin leader of Tyche, the goddess of Fortune and Luck. Nemesis and Tyche are sort of connected, so seeing their two children get along isn't unusual.”

“You call that getting along?” you replied skeptically. 

“Oh, you would be surprised. One time when the two of them were stuck in the medical tent, I saw Damien move to the cot next to Chiara and the two only argued with each other when people were around” snickered Lester. “If I were ever more poetic, I would say this is a perfect haters to lovers haiku right now.”

“Wait, how do you know this? Who are you?” you asked.

The boy smiled at you and you saw his blue eyes almost seemed like the sky for a moment. The sun glowed behind his head, highlighting his brown hair into what looked like gold. A shiver ran through you and you had an inkling of who this guy was. “My name is Lester Papadopoulous, nice to meet you.” 

[chrisxwright-blog]

The Turmoil of Winning Something Only to Lose It Again: A Heartbreaking Journey

Introduction:

Life is full of ups and downs, surprises and disappointments. Sometimes, we find ourselves winning something we've always dreamed of, only to have it slip through our fingers, leaving us in a state of heartbreak and turmoil. In this blog, we will explore the emotional roller coaster of winning something significant, only to lose it again, and the profound impact it has on our lives.

The Initial Triumph:

Winning something significant, whether it's a championship, a competition, or even a dream job, is an indescribable feeling. The initial triumph fills our hearts with joy, pride, and a sense of accomplishment. We bask in the glory of our success, feeling invincible and believing that our dreams have finally come true.

Embracing the Moment:

With the newfound victory, we often share our joy with loved ones, celebrating the achievement with laughter, hugs, and applause. The support and validation from those around us amplify our happiness, and for a moment, everything seems perfect. We live in a blissful bubble, feeling on top of the world.

The Sudden Descent:

But as quickly as we soared to the heights of triumph, life often has a way of humbling us. Whether through circumstances beyond our control or unforeseen obstacles, the descent from that peak of success begins. It may be a series of unfortunate events, a change in circumstances, or simply the realization that what we won wasn't what we truly desired.

The Painful Loss:

As the reality sinks in, our hearts fill with an agonizing mixture of disbelief, anger, and sorrow. The magnitude of losing something we valued so deeply can be overwhelming. We question ourselves, wondering if we could have done things differently or if fate dealt us an unfair hand. The once indescribable joy turns into a deep ache of sadness, leaving us in a state of heartbreak.

Lessons in Resilience:

While the pain of losing something we worked so hard to attain can be shattering, it also presents an opportunity for growth. It is through such hardships that we learn valuable lessons about resilience, adaptability, and the strength of the human spirit. The experience teaches us to appreciate the journey rather than solely fixating on the destination.

Finding Hope and Moving Forward:

In the midst of heartbreak, it's important to remember that our worth is not solely defined by our achievements. We must give ourselves permission to grieve, but also find the strength to pick ourselves up and move forward. It is in these moments of despair that we often discover newfound hope, motivation, and a deeper understanding of ourselves.

Conclusion:

Life's unpredictable nature means that the joy of winning can be followed by the heartbreak of losing. It is in these turbulent times that our true character emerges and we learn valuable lessons about resilience, humility, and the pursuit of our true passions. The journey from triumph to heartbreak may be painful, but it is also an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. So, let us embrace the turmoil, learn from it, and emerge stronger as we continue to chase our dreams.

[ceresfromnationstates]

Past NS Experiences #1

I'm writing this now just to get it out of my system, after I saw several posts between this nation and another.

I'll spare you guys the background story, because, it's a REALLY long one, but all you need to know is that in The North Pacific (the region where Cereskia resided) has a roleplay setting called "Strangereal", and for those of you Ace Combat folks out there, yes it's the same setting of the video game series of the same name, in fact, the RP map is nearly identical to the official Ace Combat strangereal map, save for an extra continent, and the names of said continents were mostly similar. I had first discovered SR sometime between late 2020 and early 2021, fast forward into a few months, North and South Baba came to SR, and it all kinda went downhill from there, I'm also going to tell you all about those two for another time, but I was the prime targer for ther relentless RMB harassments, all because I carbon-copied their dispatches, I was younger than I am now at that time by the way. Though, I'm not alone when it comes to being verbally abused on a near-daily basis by these guys, another nation, going by the name of Amestris and Freedonia was also similarly subjected to constant harassment by whoever was behind North and South Baba (I hate them), because Amestris did some godmodding while he was on Strangereal. And somehow, he managed to survive for longer than Cereskia, and Arpasia, when Cereskia was deleted by the moderation team, I decided to wait out the ban and shifted my attention away from that heartbreaking event, Amestris meanwhile, soldiered on, and I also soldiered on to bounce back from the ruins of my former reputation, but Arpasia was also deleted in 2022 after an accidental flame post.

Look, I'm not defending a wrongdoer or anything, Amestris did do acts of misconduct, and I knew I did too, I'm defending him because all that verbal abuse he had to go through is undeserved, unfair and unjustified, just because somebody had broken the rules more than 3 times and is forcefully removed for life doesn't mean that they deserve everyday verbal abuse, because what he did (and what I did) were all happening in the past, and in my opinion, what happens in the past stays in the past. But that's not how it works in The North Pacific (RMB-wise, at least), as I've come to learn from my experiences, no, it was far from that.

I'll also provide a composite screenshot from the RMB, so that any of you guys out there could voice in your thoughts on them.

[wistfulrat]

a 4-part rec list of my fave drarry fics - the thrillers, dramas, soft bois, and wankbanks getting me through 2020′s shitstorm

[ for my fellow fledgling drarry stans! the drama list is here and, well. like i didn’t initially intend to go off in the mini-reviews beneath every rec but it’s just that you can't nOT yell about drarry as classic literary foils!! also it’s my dumb sideblog so i decided there are no rules and i get to be annoying about good writing.

but rly, the whole premise of the drarry pairing is shaped by this genre and if the ~serious world of serious published writers~ weren’t absolute cowards, they would admit that drama fic authors have contributed more to the genre than the average shit you can find at your local chain bookstore. so that's that on thAT. & if you love a fic here, don't forget to follow the authors, leave kudos & comments on their work, send them nice msgs bc they do all this shit for free xoxo ]

part 2: dramas

mood: for when I need emotional catharsis and maybe 7 hours to sob/brood about loneliness, the cost of love, & the perpetual fear of being truly known

includes: angst, hurt/comfort, reconciliation fics. it’s cruelty o’clock folks and someone is about to say/do something Fucked Up that they can’t take back. but don’t worry!! there will be a Reckoning feat. hamlet-worthy monologues, ugly truths, unbridled rage, trauma, insecurity, and just a fuck ton of tears!! but maybe even tender apologies and mended things.

(Un)wanted by @aibidil​ - 36k - E | Ginny's pregnant, then she's not and Harry's single. Harry, again with no family, doesn't know what to do with this turn of events, or how to find a new life—post-war, post-Ginny, post-abortion—in which he belongs. He doesn't expect that life to include dancing to the Backstreet Boys with Hermione and Draco Malfoy. A story of finding belonging in the unexpected. | --- can a fic be tender and unflinching at the same time? bc this story strikes that balance rly well and for a piece about unwantedness, it is incredibly humanizing. ginny holding her own, draco being gentle but not letting harry play victim, hermione calling harry “hazzah” and just the way this friendship insists on the validity of found families even when harry is spiraling?? and you’re forced to consider that no one has the monopoly on fucked-upness and that doesn’t absolve us of the ways we hurt each other but it means that everyone has the same potential to be better after being broken. goD JUST READ IT, OKAY.

Blood Magic, the series by @houseofhebrideanblacks and @thestralsofspinnersend 335k - E “Later that night. . .Draco wondered at the depths of magic, its breadth and scope. The ways in which life pervades and eludes death, the ways in which they endure all manners of small and large deaths within their lives.” -- if you don't read any other fic on this list, i hope you read this series bc holy shit it’s breathtaking. harry’s a recovering addict, draco’s recovering from abuse, and in a cottage within the forbidden forest begins an unlikely partnership as the boys take up the tedious work of healing. there are thestrals and everyone's in therapy. there are whole chapters of cottagecore drarry. it's a beautiful exploration of how we bare the immensity of loss against the miracles of birth and regrowth. 

Ship of Theseus by GallaPlacidia - 18k - T “A ship in a full sail, a ship in a state of decay, a ship that had been rebuilt, slightly different. A repeating cycle. “What makes the ship the same?” asked Harry. “I don’t know. There must be something in it that lasts across the changes.” -- DO YOU KNOW HOW THIS QUOTE LIVES RENT FREE IN MY SAD, SAD BRAIN. DO YOU KNOW HOW I LOSE SLEEP THINKING ABOUT THE FUCKING SHIP OF THESEUS. it’s a memory loss fic and everything is so unFAIR. you want to murder harry sometimes bc he’s such a shiT and you suffer through the ways he questions desire, penance, redemption, true love. and by the end, you want to believe in those golden slumber lyrics: “once, there was a way to get back home” 

Yours to Keep by @dracoismytrashson​ - 135k - E i love the university setting, i love getting to see harry and draco’s first forays into a real LGBTQ community, the class and race structures outside of the wizarding world. i love that this is the context in which they’re allowed to confront the shittiness of PTSD, anxiety, depression etc. as they come together and fall apart against each other’s traumas. it makes the ending feel earned af. “Baby, we’ve been easing into it for a decade.” -- my god this line

Away Childish Things by @letteredlettered​ - 153k - T  this fic is devastating. like, completely forget whatever reticence you might have towards a de-aging fic and read this. the de-aging premise allows the author to cut through the ways harry and draco hold each other at a distance and you end up with these stunning moments of clarity where they’re truly seeing each other for the first time. and suddenly everything makes sense. i won't spoil it here but there’s a scene towards the end where harry is talking to hermione and ron about realizing the first time he felt what its like to be loved and I fucking SOBBED. an all-time fave fic about learning how to belong.

Had To Be You by @lettersbyelise​​ - 59k - E a genuinely excellent slow burn about absolute fucking morons who refuse to express their mutual love over the course of literal years?? HOW MANY TENDER MEET-CUTES DO 2 GAY IDIOTS EVEN NEED. a car ride a bookshop a street corner -- when harry met sally is my enemy. but you know what? this fic is masterfully written, it’s an epic tale of unexpected friendships and the inability to say the things we feel. also its very much also a soft boi fic if not for the Major Fuck Up that pushes it into drama territory for me. so worth the turmoil tbh.

Hurricane by phrynne - 120k - E auror partners terrified of love. it’s a fic about walls - where the emotional landscape of this fic is occluded by dishonest words so you feel the tension play out in hollow voices, shuttered looks, emptied eyes. it’s like watching two ppl get flayed alive in slow motion and everything is SHIT for a little. it’s mean, it’s ugly, it doesn’t let you give the characters an out when they’re being cruel - to each other and to themselves. but harry and draco are two violent forces hurling toward each other’s walls and the inevitable reckoning comes and it’s so very worth the ending. the hospital bed scene to rule all hospital bed scenes.

Returning Tides by @zigster-ao3​ - E  “Is my timing that flawed? Our respect run so dry? Yet there's still this appeal That we've kept through our lives” --those fuCKing ian curtis lyrics in the summary!! p a i n. why do i put myself through getting-back-together fics knowing full well i’m gonna be Sad As Hell during the not-together portion of the story?? we are all unfortunately hoes for heartache. anyway this fic is beautiful. draco’s a dad and recently widowed, harry has a thestral reserve, the settings here are stunning. a story about grief and love that lingers.

A Piercing Comfort by @talithan - 44k - T “There is no objective scorecard. There isn’t anything that a person does that tips the balance from ‘deserving’ to ‘undeserving’, or vice versa. A ‘deserving’ person will not run out of worthiness after a set time of happiness and have to then go about working to deserve it again. And an ‘undeserving’ person does not have to suffer at length before having the opportunity to be ‘deserving’.” -- the heart of this fic. harry’s in therapy, facing depression, and learning how to accept love he doesn’t think he deserves. (also draco is harry’s therapist but yes, that power dynamic is handled ethically-well imo and addressed in the author notes I promise!!).

Borrowing Courage by @xx-thedarklord-xx​ - 70k - E |After years of being a Magical Artist and painting for other people, Draco decides it’s time to paint for himself for once. The secrets pile up as he tries to unravel the mystery of his relatives but the only thing he didn’t count on was having to go to Potter of all people for approval.| --god i love this fic. the thing about drarry here is that they never mean to hurt each other but they do. they do and draco’s trying to do the right thing and he wants so badly for good family but harry’s never rly stopped grieving sirius and it’s this whole unintended mess of festering wounds forced to heal. everyone needs a hug. also ron/blaise pairing and ron+draco’s friendship here is everything!!

Reparations and the sequel, Foundations by Saras_Girl - 320k - E | Harry is about to discover that the steepest learning curve comes after Healer training, and that second chances can be found in unexpected places.| -- incredible. harry and draco’s dynamic as healers, the cast of original characters, the boys learning what it means to trust each other, draco building a rehabilitation center, harry falling in love with him, and “meus fabula est mei ut dico: my story is mine to tell.”  i cry

The Ties that Bind by phoenix_writing (not on ao3) - 61k - T | Upon Andromeda’s death, Harry and Draco are given custody of Teddy. Their lives will never be the same.| -- harry’s got major abandonment issues and he’s just trying to be a good co-parent with draco but everyone is being the woRST and you want to murder them on behalf of harry. but then, the boys learn to listen to each other and god it all becomes so tender. also harry has a gay panic. things are awful but it all works out. -

[part 1: thrillers | part 2: dramas | part 3: soft bois | part 4: wankbanks]

[astrowithkaro]

Heyy!! could u please add November 18 to your Language of Birthdays list? thankyou <3

Language Of Birthdays: November 18 - Scorpio

[You can find the rest of the series here; or check out my masterlist]

The Day Of Temperament

The highly spirited individuals born on November 18 are usually extremely active in both mind and body. One of their chief characteristics is their emotional lability, although on the outside they can appear cool, calm and collected when they wish to. In this respect they are masters at self-control, and indeed must be, since the boiling cauldron within them is not what they wish to reveal to the world. In the best case scenario, they are capable of creatively channeling their strong emotional energies directly into their work.

November 18 people are highly social and most happy when they are the center of attention. They are often ambitious, and are perhaps cut out for leading roles in life. Their ambition generally manifests in the name of a social group which they come to represent or personify. Whether their talents are astonishing or modest they prefer to reveal them on their own terms. Thus November 18 people resist pressure to seek success before they feel ready. When in fact they are ready may be a matter they not only debate with others but within themselves.

Diligence is not often the strongest side of November 18 people, since they can accomplish more by intuition, sensitivity and vision than many can through dutiful application or hours of effort. Also their sensuous side is not as strongly developed as their varied and rich emotional side. They are the kind of people who invite interest and investigation; usually the more one digs the more one finds, as continuing surprises are provided by their inner chameleon-like twists and turns. In this way they encourage people to become fascinated with them.

November 18 people need attention and will not rest until they get it. In this respect they are needy and therefore manifest some degree of insecurity, but in fact may be able to justify the attention they demand by being interesting and productive. Their product may be tangible, but more often than not lies in the realm of entertainment, service, or simply manifesting positive energy. In this last respect, November 18 people are highly sought after as friends and families members who bring sunshine and laughter into the lives of others. Charming (although admittedly selfish, tempestuous, moody or unpredictable as well), they give life to any event in which they take part.

Since November 18 people are so adept at acting a part, they are sometimes accused of superficiality or irresponsibility. Such charges on closer examination generally prove unfair. Yet the November 18 need for attention is so great that they must indeed beware of compromising their ideals when in search of it.

Strengths:

Intuitive

Emotional

Social

Weaknesses:

Needy

Tempestuous

Moody

Advice

Those born on November 18 will have to manage their temperamental nature and emotional lability. Getting to know themselves well is vitally important, so that they will not be at the mercy of their feelings or throw them around, to the detriment of themselves and others. Consequently, some form of psychological or spiritual study is highly recommended. Regular patterns of moderate exercise are suggested as a means for building up discipline and willpower. As far as diet is is concerned, an emphasis on grains and fresh vegetables and a denial of cravings for sugar, caffeine and alcohol can keep them on an even keel. Red meat should be eaten only in moderation. If they can manage it, at least half a gallon of fresh, pure water should be drunk each day to aid their bodily cleansing processes.

Encounter yourself at a deep level

Go with the stream of life

Feel your way

Watch for signs

Don't doubt your intuitions but be careful of your effects on others

[bloodbenderz]

humaniterations (dot) net/2014/10/13/an-anarchist-perspective-on-the-red-lotus/ this article from oct 2014 is very dense — truly, a lot to unpack here, but I feel like you would find this piece interesting. I would love it if you shared your thoughts on the points that stood out to you, whether you agree or disagree. you obv don’t have to respond to it tho, but I’m sending it as an ask jic you feel like penning (and sharing) a magnificent essay, as is your wont 💕

article

i know this took me forever 2 answer SORRY but i just checked off all the things on my to do list for the first time in days today so. Essay incoming ladies!

ok im SO glad u sent me this bc it’s so so good. it’s a genuinely thoughtful criticism of the politics in legend of korra (altho i think its sometimes a little mean to korra unnecessarily like there’s no reason to call her a “petulant brat” or say that she throws tantrums but i do understand their point about her being an immature and reactionary hero, which i’ll get back to) and i think the author has a good balance between acknowledging like Yeah the lok writers were american liberals and wrote their show accordingly and Also writing a thorough analysis of lok’s politics that felt relevant and interesting without throwing their hands up and saying this is all useless liberal bullshit (which i will admit that i tend to do).

this article essentially argues that the red lotus antagonists of s3 were right. And that’s not an uncommon opinion i think but this gives it serious weight. Like, everything that zaheer’s gang did was, in context, fully understandable. of course the red lotus would be invested in making sure that the physically and spiritually and politically most powerful person in the world ISNT raised by world leaders and a secret society of elites that’s completely unaccountable to the people! of course the red lotus wants to bring down tyrannical governments and allow communities to form and self govern organically! and the writers dismiss all of that out of hand by 1. consistently framing the red lotus as insane and murderous (korra never actually gives zaheer’s ideas a chance or truly considers integrating them into her own approach) 2. representing the death of the earth queen as not just something that’s not necessarily popular (what was with mako’s bootlicker grandma, i’d love to know) but as something that causes unbelievable violence and chaos in ba sing se (which, like, a lot of history and research will tell you that people in disasters tend towards prosocial behaviors). so the way the story frames each of these characters and ideologies is fascinating because like. if you wanted to write season 3 of legend of korra with zaheer as the protagonist and korra as the antagonist, you wouldn’t actually have to change the sequence of events at all, really. these writers in particular and liberal writers in general LOVE writing morally-gray-but-ultimately-sympathetic characters (like, almost EVERY SINGLE fire nation character in the first series, who were full on violent colonizers but all to a degree were rehabilitated in the eyes of the viewer) but instead of framing the red lotus as good people who are devoted to justice and freedom and sometimes behave cruelly to get where theyre trying to go, they frame them as psychopaths and murderers who have good intentions don’t really understand how to make the world a better place.

and the interesting thing about all this, about the fact that the red lotus acted in most cases exactly as it should have in context and the only reason its relegated to villain status is bc the show is written by liberals, is that the red lotus actually points out really glaring sociopolitical issues in universe! like, watching the show, u think well why the fuck HASN’T korra done anything about the earth queen oppressing her subjects? why DOESN’T korra do anything about the worse than useless republic president? why the hell are so many people living in poverty while our mains live cushy well fed lives? how come earth kingdom land only seems to belong to various monarchs and settler colonists, instead of the people who are actually indigenous to it? the show does not want to answer these questions, because american liberal capitalism literally survives on the reality of oppressive governments and worse than useless presidents and people living in poverty while the middle/upper class eats and indigenous land being stolen. if the show were to answer these questions honestly, the answer would be that the status quo in real life (and the one on the show that mirrors real life) Has To Change.

So they avoid answering these questions honestly in order for the thesis statement to be that the status quo is good. and the only way for the show to escape answering these questions is for them to individualize all these broad social problems down into Good people and Bad people. so while we have obvious bad ones like the earth queen we also have all these capitalists and monarchs and politicians who are actually very nice and lovely people who would never hurt anyone! which is just such an absurd take and it’s liberal propaganda at its best. holding a position of incredible political/economic power in an unjust society is inherently unethical and maintaining that position of power requires violence against the people you have power over. which is literally social justice 101. but there’s literally no normal, average, not-politically-powerful person on the show. so when leftist anarchism is presented and says that destroying systems that enforce extreme power differentials is the only way to bring peace and freedom to all, the show has already set us up to think, hey, fuck you, top cop lin beifong and ford motor ceo asami sato are good people and good people like them exist! and all we have to do to move forward and progress as a society is to make sure we have enough good individuals in enough powerful positions (like zuko as the fire lord ending the war, or wu as the earth king ending the monarchy)! which is of course complete fiction. liberal reform doesn’t work. but by pretending that it could work by saying that the SYSTEM isnt rotten it’s just that the people running it suck and we just need to replace those people, it automatically delegitimizes any radical movements that actually seek to change things.

and that’s the most interesting thing about this article to me is that it posits that the avatar...might actually be a negative presence in the world. the avatar is the exact same thing: it’s a position of immense political and physical power bestowed completely randomly, and depending on the moral character and various actions of who fills that position at any given time, millions of people will or won’t suffer. like kyoshi, who created the fascist dai li, like roku, who refused to remove a genocidal dictator from power, like aang, who facilitated the establishment of a settler colonial state on earth kingdom land. like korra! she’s an incredibly immature avatar and a generally reactionary lead. i’ve talked about this at length before but she never actually gets in touch with the needs of the people. she’s constantly running in elite circles, exposed only to the needs and squabbles of the upper class! how the hell is she supposed to understand the complexities of oppression and privilege when she was raised by a chess club with inordinate amounts of power and associates almost exclusively with politicians and billionaires?? from day 1 we see that she tends to see things in very black and white ways which is FINE if you’re a privileged 17 yr old girl seeing the world for the first time but NOT FINE if you’re the single most powerful person in the world! Yeah, korra thinks the world is probably mostly fine and just needs a little whipping into shape every couple years, because all she has ever known is a mostly fine world! in s1 when mako mentions that he as a homeless impoverished teenager worked for a gang (which is. Not weird. Impoverished people of every background are ALWAYS more likely to resort to socially unacceptable ways of making money) korra is like “you guys are criminals?????!!!!!” she was raised in perfect luxury by a conservative institution and just never developed beyond that. So sure, if the red lotus raised her anarchist, probably a lot would’ve been different/better, but....they didn’t. and korra ended up being a reactionary and conservative avatar who protected monarchs and colonialist politicians. The avatar as a position is completely subject to the whims of whoever is currently the avatar. and not only does that suck for everyone who is not the avatar, not only is it totally unfair to whatever kid who grows up knowing the fate of the world is squarely on their shoulders, but it as a concept is a highly individualist product of the authors’ own western liberal ideas of progress! the idea that one good leader can fix the world (or should even try) based on their own inherent superiority to everyone else is unbelievably flawed and ignores the fact that all real progress is brought about as a result of COMMUNITY work, as a result of normal people working for themselves and their neighbors!

the broader analysis of bending was really interesting to me too, but im honestly not sure i Totally agree with it. the article pretty much accepts the show’s assertion that bending is a privilege (and frankly backs it up much better than the original show did, but whatever), and i don’t think that’s NECESSARILY untrue since it is, like, a physical advantage (the author compares it to, for example, the fact that some people are born athletically gifted and others are born with extreme physical limitations), but i DO think that it discounts the in universe racialization of bending. in any sequel to atla that made sense, bending as a race making fact would have been explored ALONGSIDE the physical advantages it bestows on people. colonialism and its aftermath is generally ignored in this article which is its major weakness i think, especially in conjunction with bending. you can bring up the ideas the author did about individual vs community oriented progress in the avatar universe while safely ignoring the colonialism, but you can’t not bring up race and colonialism when you discuss bending. especially once you get to thinking about how water/earth/airbenders were imprisoned and killed specifically because bending was a physical advantage, and that physical advantage was something that would have given colonized populations a means of resistance and that the fire nation wanted to keep to itself.

i think that’s the best lens thru which to analyze bending tbh! like in the avatar universe bending is a tool that different ethnic groups tend to use in different ways. at its best, bending actually doesn’t represent social power differences (despite representing a physical power difference) because it’s used to represent/maintain community solidarity. like, take the water tribe. katara being the last waterbender, in some way, makes her the last of a part of swt CULTURE. the implication is that when there were a lot of waterbenders in the south, they dedicated their talents to building community and helping their neighbors, because this was something incredibly culturally important and important to the water tribe as a community. the swt as a COLLECTIVE values bending for what it can do for the entire tribe, which counts for basically every other talent a person can have (strength, creativity, etc). the fire nation, by contrast, distorts the community value of bending by racializing it: anyone who bends an element that isn’t fire is inherently NOT fire nation (and therefore inherently inferior) and, because of the physical power that bending confers, anyone who bends an element that isn’t fire is a threat to fire nation hegemony. and in THAT framework of bending, it’s something that intrinsically assigns worth and reifies race in a way that’s conveniently beneficial to the oppressor.

it IS worth talking about how using Element as a way to categorize people reifies nations, borders, and race in a way that is VERY characteristic of white american liberals. i tried to be conscious of that (and the way that elements/bending can act in DIFFERENT ways, depending on cultural context) but i think it’s pretty clear that the writers did intend for element to unequivocally signify nation (and, by extension, race), which is part of why they screwed up mixed families so bad in lok. when they’ve locked themselves into this idea that element=nation=race, they end up with sets of siblings like mako and bolin or kya tenzin and bumi, who all “take” after only one parent based on the element that they bend. which is just completely stupid but very indicative of how the writers actually INTENDED element/bending to be a race making process. and its both fucked up and interesting that the writers display the same framework of race analysis that the canonical antagonists of atla do.

anyway that’s a few thoughts! thank u again for sending the article i really loved it and i had a lot of fun writing this <3

[paragonrobits]

A few AtLA takes I’ve heard of lately that I just have to address.

“aang should have let go of Katara to grow as a character” Firstly, and before everything else, he did. otherwise, he wouldn’t have been able to access the Avatar State on his own. It is explicitly stated that the only reason he COULDN’T throughout season three was because of an energy blockage caused by his injuries, and his fight with Ozai produced some high velocity acupuncture to deal with that problem.

Letting go, in this case, does not constitute ‘losing the ability to feel romantic attraction and love for’. Letting go constitutes not prioritizing her well-being over the world, or at least not having that be his most important focus. Discussion on this topic is probably best left to people who understand the nature of the chakras, or at least the real life religious views that the show takes inspiration from, but I have gathered that it’s a great deal more complicated than the simplified takes often seen here.

“Jet shouldn’t have died” honestly, I don’t get why people are so fixated on this guy; he only appears in a handful of episodes, he’s a pompous and obnoxiously cocky guy in almost all of them, and he was just never that interesting to me. but, okay, people react differently to characters. there’s other factors at play besides personal dislike or likes.

And an important fact is this: the series concerns a war. In war, people die.

His death is not a moral judgment, or an aesop. Rather, there’s a point to be made that there is no meaning to random death. It happens; when nonbenders get into a fight with benders, they die. Jet most likely died a horrific, slow and painful death from internal bleeding as a result of the effective leader of his country treating him as an obstacle to be removed. It’s unfair, horrible and also true enough to life.

Sometimes a tragedy is just a tragedy. I don’t think there’s a moral here. Sometimes, people die, and there’s not much more to be said than that. Is it fair? Maybe. Maybe not. But in war, people die, whether they are good or not.

“Azula should have been redeemed during the course of the series” let’s analyze this one here.

Azula, the most outright bigoted, Fire Nation supremacist and ruthless people in a culture that is specifically selecting for those traits. Azula, who very explicitly does not care about anyone or anything except her people’s prosperity and her father’s approval, to the point that even her own ambition is a distant third. Azula, who sneers at everyone else as being a ‘barbarian peasant’ and actively takes pleasure in their suffering, confusion and loss.

Azula who, at a very young and developmentally critical age, was throwing rocks at baby turtle-ducks (and this would most likely severely injure or even kill them), burns dolls, and shows absolutely no empathy for her grieving uncle, doesn’t even feel the slightest bit of concern for her cousin’s death in battle, and is positively gleeful about what she claims is her brother’s impending murder.

Azula is many things. But she was not in the right situation to come to Team Avatar’s side during in-series events.

For instance, I’ve seen people claiming that they could have saved her, and as Azula prizes loyalty, she might have turned towards their side. And I have to say: no. She wouldn’t. She would view them as weak, for not dispatching an enemy, or even be angry, believing them to be underestimating her or not taking her seriously. And while she does value loyalty, its as a subset towards something more important to her: immediate utility. They are enemies. She wouldn’t care about their reasons for not killing her, other than that she wouldn’t return the gesture.

Azula, even as a child, is a sadistic bully with so many red flags that she is blatantly just following her father’s example, and she completely buys into Fire Nation propaganda. Ultimately she has no reason to ally with Team Avatar during in-show events. She only cares about her nation’s prosperity, her father’s love, and she believes she HAS his love. Nothing else matters to her. She would have no reason to view Aang and company as anything other than targets or threats.

The most important point here, though, is... you know that plan at the end of the series? That plan to commit genocide upon the entire Earth Kingdom by burning it to the ground with the power of Sozin’s Comet? To kill every single person there and rule over the ashes, to repeat the atrocities they commited upon the Air Nomads a hundred years ago?

That was, specifically, Azula’s idea. And she is distraught and hurt that Ozai doesn’t give her permission to join in. She really, REALLY wanted to participate in another genocide.

This tells you much about her mindset during the events of the series.

[katsidhe]

could you share the descriptions of the answers? I'm bad at answering these quizzes cause I always get like 3 answers that fit but in different circumstances so I like seeing all of the descriptions

Yeah sure! I too wish uquiz gave an option to see all the result descriptions... alas. 

anyway here’s a wall of text, go nuts. 

DEAN-CODED DEAN GIRL

You might just be the hero of a YA fantasy novel or an action movie, because you have Big Protag Energy. You’re self-centered and extremely giving at the same time: you expect and demand absolute loyalty, just as you provide the same. Your love can move mountains, but if you’re not careful that same love can be suffocating or controlling. You’re volatile: you’ll cut a bitch and you don’t care who knows it. You’ll kick their ass. You’ll kick their dog’s ass. You’ll kick your own ass. You have a one-liner for every occasion. Your friends like you but would describe you as “a lot.” You’re magnetic: your charisma and sheer bull-headedness mean you stand out in every room. You’re polarizing, and you know it, but that doesn’t bother you: you know you’re right, and even when you’re wrong, you’re at least entertaining. You’re very “do as I say, not as I do:” you’re a bit of a hypocrite, but, like, in a fun way.  

Holotypes include: Dean Winchester (Supernatural), Thomas Jefferson (Hamilton), Sirius Black (Harry Potter), Kathryn Janeway (Star Trek: Voyager), Katara (ATLA), Vriska Serket (Homestuck)

DEAN-CODED SAM GIRL

You are a charmer and a people-pleaser. You’re charismatic to a fault, when you want to be: whether consciously or not, you have a razor-keen sense of how others see you, and you mold yourself to expectations. You can either talk circles around most people, or you come across as so fundamentally honest that you gain everyone’s trust without trying. Your affable persona is built on a rock-solid sense of purpose. You have a steadfast, deadset fixation on your goals, which you know in your heart to be worth any cost and any sacrifice. Armed with iron conviction, you’re a rebel with a cause. Is it paranoia if they really are all out to get you? When you inevitably win, the whole world will know your name. Your strong sense of self will carry you through any hardship. Your friends look up to you, but they don’t always “get” you. 

Holotypes include: Lucifer (Supernatural), Eponine (Les Mis), Count Olaf (A Series of Unfortunate Events), Prince Zuko (ATLA), Samwise Gamgee (LOTR), Karkat Vantas (Homestuck)

DEAN-CODED CAS GIRL 

Like all Dean-coded people, you are charming and affable, and you talk a big game. You might be the class clown or a popular athlete, or otherwise one of them cool kids, but underlying that public persona is a certain quiet idealism. You keep your strong convictions close to your heart, even when far from home or beset by strife. You’re fiercely loyal and you crave being around people, but you can see when your friends need space, and you can get along okay on your own. You’re not afraid to change your opinions if new information comes to light. Strangers find you easy to get along with: you tend to go along with the group, and you’re a team player no matter what needs to get done. Your chill-to-pull ratio is sky-high.

Holotypes include: Ahsoka (Star Wars), Meg (Supernatural), Percy Jackson (Percy Jackson), Ginny Weasley (Harry Potter), Boromir (LOTR), Jon Snow (Game of Thrones)

SAM-CODED DEAN GIRL

You come across as level headed, but you’re never more than an inch from going off the rails. Your highest values are love and personal loyalty, but you’re pragmatic about it, and you try very hard not to put unfair expectations on other people, with varying degrees of success. You spend a lot of time dealing with expectations; it’s something you either grapple with, or lean into to use to your own ends. You value your own sense of identity, but that identity can get subsumed by your loyalties. You can easily get pulled in or suborned by strong personalities. You keep secrets, both from yourself and from others. Who you want to be is at odds with how you see yourself. People meeting you for the first time might say you’re aloof. You have lots of strong opinions, but you usually keep them to yourself… unless provoked. Careful; you bite. 

Holotypes include: Mary Winchester (Supernatural), Harry Potter (Harry Potter), Aragorn (LOTR), Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars), Julian Bashir (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine), Katniss Everdeen (Hunger Games) 

SAM-CODED SAM GIRL

Gifted kid (diagnosis). You were and maybe still are an outsider, and because of that you’ve had to learn to be self-sufficient and confident in your own abilities. You’re a fiercely independent overachiever, and you’ve fought hard for every inch. Somewhere inside you is a hot, long simmering rage born from the injustice of the world, but it’s buried very deep. You’d be more than content to be alone for long periods of time. You have sometimes crippling perfectionism: if you aren’t succeeding, it’s your fault for not trying hard enough. You’ll pick every kind of intellectual fight and throw yourself into playing devil’s advocate just to improve your understanding: you see the gray areas in everything. You’re aggressively big-picture. You want to, no, you MUST change the universe, but you don’t need to take credit for it. Your few friends might describe you as callous, but you know you’re just being realistic: you’ve got a harsh, clear-eyed sense of the world. No pain, no gain, and really, if you do the math, no single individual is all that important in the grand scheme of things.  

Holotypes include: Kevin Tran (Supernatural), Jean Valjean (Les Miserables), Emperor Palpatine (Star Wars), Neville Longbottom (Harry Potter), Frodo Baggins (LOTR), Dirk Strider (Homestuck), Luke Castellan (Percy Jackson)

SAM-CODED CAS GIRL

You have a strong sense of how the world ought to be, but you have no overriding vision or big master plan: you take life day by day to fix the little things you can. You have very few close relationships, but those you have you treasure dearly. You support your few friends unconditionally, but you tend to be emotionally distant with acquaintances. You may be a bit of a pushover. You often find yourself put in the position of mediator. You loathe conflict, so you avoid it unless absolutely necessary--but once you’re truly angry, you’ll stop at nothing to see justice done. You’re a diplomat and an advocate: you are deeply idealistic, but you’re nevertheless strongly grounded in a pragmatic sense of achieving what you can. Philosophy is action, action is philosophy; you like meditation and self-improvement and have probably done at least one juice cleanse. Both friends and strangers describe you as quietly dependable. If you can’t see the trauma, the trauma can’t see you! That’s just science!

Holotypes include: Sam Winchester (Supernatural), BJ Hunnicut (M*A*S*H), Jean-Luc Picard (Star Trek: The Next Generation), Aang (ATLA), Luke Skywalker (Star Wars), Nico di Angelo (Percy Jackson)

CAS-CODED DEAN GIRL

Much of your identity is tied up in a set of core beliefs - to the point where those beliefs might be strong enough to override your identity. You’re not beholden to any outside system. If you’re comfortable serving a larger common goal, it’s because you believe in it wholeheartedly. You’re action-oriented: you act first, and think later, or possibly never. You judge your friends solely based on what they do, and you tend to hold people accountable for any unforeseen consequences of their choices. You have strong personal loyalties. You’re not at the center of your social circle, but your friends trust you implicitly and the leader of your group tends to confide in you. You don’t seek power, but you’re also not afraid of taking charge, and you may find power thrust upon you. If you do find yourself in a position of leadership, you struggle with going too far or taking your friends in an unexpected direction. Whether you’re fighting in a war or making yourself a sandwich, you go hard in the motherfuckin’ paint.

Holotypes include: Castiel (Supernatural), Javert (Les Miserables), Captain Rex (Star Wars), Kanaya Maryam (Homestuck), Worf (Star Trek), Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter)

CAS-CODED SAM GIRL

I mean this in the nicest possible way, but you’re a bit weird. You are spacey or odd or otherwise out of step with how people think you should act, but that’s fine. It doesn’t matter what they think, because if you’re sure of one thing, it’s that you should never mold your unique identity to other people’s expectations. You live internally: you’re all about grand, world-changing concepts, whether they be philosophical, artistic, or mathematical. You are grounded in the reality that you are one person and one viewpoint among many others, but that doesn’t stop you from writing your nine-hundred page thesis on the topic you’re passionate about. You can justify just about anything by the virtue of your personal convictions arising almost entirely from within yourself. Your identity can get swept up in your big ideas. You’re easier to sway with logic than with emotion, but you don’t feel the need to confine yourself with such terms: you operate on both vibes and flowcharts. You move through the world with the assurance that you are the master of your own fate, and you are unburdened by worrying about the opinions of others. You won’t let yourself feel pinned down by one social group; you float in and out comfortably, depending on how you’re feeling. Friends and strangers describe you as “spooky.”

Holotypes include: Azazel (Supernatural), Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter), Aaron Burr (Hamilton), Princess Azula (ATLA), Yoda (Star Wars), Jadzia Dax (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine), Terezi Pyrope (Homestuck)

CAS-CODED CAS GIRL

You are chaotic and excitable. You’re swayed by the drive to explore: the greatest good is to understand the universe and your place in it. You’ve got big ideas, and you’re drawn to new experiences, but you don’t necessarily understand what’s going on. You might be a part of a bigger social machine, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be defined on its terms: you’ll self-actualize if it kills you. You identify new objects by licking them. You can see the strings of the world; what will you choose? You’ll take the reins and see where they take you. You say you’re following your own path. Your friends say you don’t know what you’re doing. Pragmatism? Never heard of her. A dream is a vision is a reality; ideas are the world writ large. You might be a prophet or a visionary. With your head in the clouds, you’re sometimes divorced from both reality and consequences. You’re usually on the outside looking in, and you don’t want to be. People think they understand you, but they definitely don’t. Your friends and enemies describe you as impulsive and mysterious. 

Holotypes include: Raphael (Supernatural), Uncle Iroh (ATLA), Draco Malfoy (Harry Potter), Data (Star Trek: The Next Generation), Obi-Wan Kenobi (Star Wars), Gandalf (LOTR)

[blankie-greenie-anon]

Shounen Hollywood and HANA-Doll*: Deconstructions of the Idol Genre.

I will begin with the more recent of the two titles.

HANA-Doll*, I've noticed as of late, has been lauded by its fandom for daring to show the darker sides of the idol industry, namely how idols can be exploited. Hence, the series is quite dark.

As for Shounen Hollywood, it features a realistic portrayal of idols. This includes showing the cons of being an idol and the unfairness one might encounter in the entertainment industry. In ShoHolly, no one is exploited, and although it can get quite dark because reality is bleak at times, it never got as dark as HD*.

I've always considered ShoHolly as the deconstruction of the idol genre because it showed the many harsh realities awaiting idols. Then HD* appeared, showing the one reality ShoHolly didn't—the exploitation of idols.

Did that mean ShoHolly failed to deconstruct the genre properly? Was HD* the true deconstruction for being darker than ShoHolly?

I mulled the above questions for a moment and realized the answer was no. Why? Because deconstruction isn't about making something darker. It's about doubting truth and reality, taking things seriously, and never taking anything for granted.

The reason why deconstructed works tend to be dark is because a lot of clichés in media glorify and romanticize dangerous scenarios. For example, the exciting events in an action movie would be very traumatizing if experienced for real, and romance stories are often filled with dubcon elements.

However, not every deconstruction has to be dark. It just has to be realistic, and ShoHolly is plenty realistic, which brings up another question—Is HD* realistic?

By the standards of reality, obviously not. Even if body modification can be symbolism for plastic surgery, plastic surgery doesn't improve an idol's singing or dancing. On the other hand, certain conflicts in HD* being organized by President Amagiri could be perceived as the micromanagement of idols for the company's benefit.

The fact that HD* dared to look past the glittery surface of the idol industry to reveal the shady happenings underneath supporting that surface is enough proof it is a deconstruction of the idol genre, except I feel very inclined to call it a dramatization of the genre, too, as so much that happens there is obviously due to the plot rather than because it could happen in real life.

Back to ShoHolly—Is it not realistic for showing no exploitation?

Well, first of all, there is a bit of exploitation. Episode 9 had the idols participating in embarrassing variety TV for promotion, with the producers of said variety TV calling the boys 'cheap'. It's just that the staff in Hollywood Tokyo never exploited Shounen Hollywood, unlike how Amagiri Production did to Anthos* and Loulou*di.

Furthermore, deconstruction is about never taking things for granted. Certain things don't just exist or happen. There are factors leading up to them.

The members of Shounen Hollywood never being horribly exploited is explained by Hollywood Tokyo being a small company founded on passion, with genuine belief in the power idols have and the good they can bring. Even though the idols do get micromanaged from time to time (i.e. not allowed to use the public restroom, constantly advised on the proper way to interact with fans, etc.), it's less because the staff is abusive but truly because that's the kind of effort expected from idols. Thus, as the staff, they have the responsibility to enforce those expectations. Sometimes, Tesshi micromanages for the boys' sakes, like how he makes sure to filter hate mail from the fan letters. Therefore, the lack of exploitation isn't unrealistic.

Meanwhile, Amagiri Production, a company that is definitely big and loaded, is so exploitative because President Amagiri wanted to profit from his idols and observe the flowers' affect on them.

In conclusion, Shounen Hollywood and HANA-Doll* deconstruct the idol genre from different angles; the former from a hopeful angle and the latter from an angsty angle, with both agreeing that reality can be pretty bleak.

[thejustmaiden]

Heyo, fellow Inuyasha fans! Happy Friday! This particular blog will serve as a collection of random thoughts I’ve been mulling over lately. Hope you’ll consider giving it a read. By the way, it’ll specifically pertain to the Sessrin ship. If that’s not something that is of interest to you, then no need to read any further. Whatever happens, I wanted to get this out before the sequel. Alrighty, let’s go! 

I’m not sure many of us realize just how much fiction sparks public dialogue and shapes culture. There have been countless studies and research done to prove it, therefore this really isn’t up for debate. What the real question here should be is have we taken the time to fully contemplate and assess just how much fictional experiences are able to change or influence our perspective on real, everyday life? The visual arts are just one of many evolutionary adaptations that serve to give us more insight into one another’s mind. If our outlook on fiction contrasts with said insight, then perhaps some re-evaluating is in order.  

Powerful works of literature such as 1984 and the beloved Harry Potter series are just two examples. George Orwell’s book contributed strongly to how readers viewed government and politics during that time, and to this day it’s a book that resonates with many. As much as Harry Potter is cherished all across the world, there are religious and academic institutions that condemn it or have even gone so far as to ban it. I may not agree with the extreme measures taken, but it’s fascinating nonetheless to witness the extent to which fiction can move and mobilize people for a cause.

The takeaway is that indicating fiction doesn’t have the power to create change in our everyday lives is misleading to say the least. So how exactly then can fictional stories that are, after all, completely made up affect society in such profound ways? It all lies in the power of the psychology of fiction. According to cognitive psychologist and novelist, Keith Oatley, who’s been researching the psychological effects of fiction for over a decade, he states that engaging with stories about other people can improve empathy and theory of mind. When we identify with these characters’ struggles, we begin to share their frustration for societal problems that plague them. These types of stories tap into our emotions more so than- believe it or not- nonfiction, and thus their effects inspire us and even have the ability to alter our worldviews. 

I’ll be returning to that specific topic a bit later, but moving on for now!

It’s safe to say that I speak on behalf of the majority of antis. That being said, I first want to add that we are aware that sessrin shippers claim to agree that there was nothing inherently romantic that took place between Rin and Sesshomaru during their travels together. The thing is we have trouble believing you guys when you time and time again provide contradictory statements to defend your stance.

Voicing things like, “all signs point to Rin” and “it’s been foreshadowed” sends the exact opposite message of what you supposedly stand for and, if anything, confirms that you’ve had romance on your mind long before it would’ve been acceptable to come out with openly. You can’t just go along with what we say when it’s convenient to your argument and then back it up later with “who else but Rin.” How can the relationship you’re imagining be so obvious if they didn’t hint at it for the whole duration of the original series like we agreed upon? Elaborate on how we could’ve possibly come to such wildly different conclusions when we started AND left off with the same views for and throughout the series. 

On top of that, making the excuse that we don’t speak for adult!Rin and that she has the right to make her own decisions once she’s old enough is a weak defense. Firstly, because we haven’t even met her. Secondly, because it’s unfair of you to assert that you know what’s best for Rin and then say we’re not allowed to just because it doesn’t align with your beliefs. I get that you feel protective over her character, but do recall that this adult version of her none of us have actually met yet. We have no idea what kind of woman she’s become, what her dreams or aspirations may be, and whether she’s married or even wants to be. I’m not against the idea of her falling in love, I just don’t think it’ll be with Sesshomaru. I guess I’m also a fan of the idea of her following in Kaede’s footsteps, because if anyone can grow up to be an independent, trusted, and wise leader of the community like her it’s Rin.

To make matters worse, way too many of you continue to celebrate the drama cd and profess that it was sweet that Sesshomaru basically promised he’d wait for Rin all while somehow ignoring the glaring grooming implications. Why do you only see what you want to see and fail to acknowledge that actual child grooming scenarios do in fact play out like this in real life? A high percentage of people who have been victims of grooming can attest to this. If Sessrin does go canon, all the sequel succeeded in doing to avoid the direct correlation with grooming was skip over the more questionable and dodgy portions of it. Take out the time jump, however, and you no longer have a loophole to cover up the scary unmistakable truth, which is that Sessrin and grooming are essentially one in the same.

No one case is identical to another so please don’t come to me with your “but how is it grooming if Sesshomaru didn’t manipulate Rin” refutes. Nobody knows what the hell went on during those years between The Final Act and this upcoming sequel. Based on everything exhibited so far- that is if we decide to recognize the drama cd like so many of you choose to do- Sessrin’s dynamic is eerily reminiscent of real life child grooming. Why else do you think a lot of us fans have a huge problem with it? It’s triggering for a reason. 

Let’s be honest, Sesshomaru’s supposed love confession could’ve just been the first of many gestures like it. Who really knows, right? According to you shippers, a major shift in their relationship took place sometime during this critical period none of us got to watch unfold. I’m sure you all have explored the various ways this would’ve gone down in fan fiction and through other creative means of expression. Not to spoil the fun, but all I can’t help but wonder about is just how many of those supposed “cute moments” would’ve been as creepy and cringey as that proposal. Hundreds of thousands (possibly millions?!) of fans would undoubtedly agree with me, too. It seems to me this ain’t due to a mere difference of opinion. Taste is one thing, ethics a whole other. 

By the way, in case you didn’t know, groomers don’t necessarily need to plan out every single move in order for their behavior to constitute as grooming. What we should be paying attention to instead is the fact that Sesshomaru made a conscious decision to act on his own selfish desire for a young girl who couldn’t have possibly known in that moment the magnitude of what he was asking of her. Why is it that a vulnerable Rin is put in a position that forces her to be the one responsible for making such a big, life-changing decision for the both of them? Yes, Sesshomaru gave her the choice and, yes, she doesn’t have to make it till later, but why on Earth is he coming to her with this well before a child her age is ready and mature enough to handle it? Even if his intentions are good (broadly speaking of course), his what you shippers probably call “innocent acts” are incidentally coercing Rin into reciprocating his feelings. Whether he planned for that or not, he’s at fault. Period. 

That’s one way the power imbalance works. A child wants nothing more than to please the adult they look up to and adore, because they’re impressionable like that. Maybe Rin processes this like she’ll want whatever he wants, so that’s what she trains herself to believe- either right then and there or over time. Plus, if you really think about it, why wouldn’t she trust him if in her eyes he’s been nothing but good to her and that’s all she’s ever really known? (Psst! Charm is integral to the manipulative nature of grooming so it’s deceiving AKA manipulation can come off as praise or flattery.) Bottom line is that Rin is too young to have to think about this kind of deep stuff at all, and Sesshomaru shouldn’t have taken advantage of the power he had/has over her to influence a decision she was by no means prepared to hear about much less decide on. Your headcanons seem to imply that she’ll eventually have to choose though, and Idk about you but I rather not push my own fantasy agenda onto a underage girl regardless of how much I want it. Idc if she’s fictional, it wouldn’t feel right so why would I want to see that? My principals couldn’t ever allow for it.   

Even if it wasn’t an official proposal, per se, it’s still disturbing to me that so many of you find joy in the thought of a grown adult male essentially waiting for a young girl HE KNEW to become old enough before pursuing her. I know this drama cd ain’t technically canon, y'all, but since this is literally the only source we have that may foreshadow a potential Sessrin to come, and it’s referenced a lot, I figured it still should be called out for exactly what it is- Grooming: 101!!!!

Just as I demonstrated above, fiction has the ability to make even the most inappropriate and uncomfortable situations be viewed in a favorable light when you put the right spin on it. *cough* Lolicon culture, need I say more? *cough* Despite what you may believe, the strategies fiction utilizes to explain themes/concepts can genuinely lead to how we perceive them, and ultimately to how we come to make sense of a similar event presented to us in real life. Especially if we have no prior experience with any of it and have nothing to compare something to, these perceptions can be dangerous yet still persuasive to certain fans- young ones in particular. The more narrative consistency across stories and different mediums, the more likely they’ll influence social beliefs. Minors don’t possess the same capacity as adults to think critically about the content they consume, and if we aren’t more careful about what we put out there then all of us will continue to face serious repercussions.

This is precisely why it’s crucial we persist in our fight against the rabid phenomenon of glorifying young girls in every sexual context imaginable. Just look at what something as seemingly harmless as fiction has the power to do. The scope of fiction is broad and far-reaching, and it’s about time we stop denying that fact and actually do something about it if we have the means to.

The truth of the matter is that we’re in desperate need of proper education and training programs on this issue in our communities. Families need to ensure their children have access to the necessary resources, but it isn’t just on them. ALL of us gotta do our part and ALL of us should be up for the task. It takes a village, right? If we do not properly discuss and address child sexual abuse (CSA) with our children and in public forums, including the internet, then we’re ultimately accepting incidents of CSA should they arise. Consequently, that also translates to indirectly accepting that the predators among us stay untreated and/or unpunished. That’s how the generational and societal aspect of the abuse can continue, and we must do everything in our power to secure our children’s future. Yes, even when it comes to fiction.

If you still somehow don’t think the Sessrin pairing has anything to do with grooming, allow me to break this down for you one more time:

1. If some of your fellow sessrin shippers say that a relationship like this in real life is harmful, then that should be pretty telling in and of itself.

2. Piggybacking off #1: if your only defense to that is “well it’s just fiction,” then you should ask yourself why you can’t ever come up with better reasons. Same goes for history and culture, so please stop using those to justify this relationship. None of the above can or should be applied since it’s already been established that fiction pervades our lives and vice versa.

3. If fellow shippers who are victims of grooming say they are drawn to Sessrin because it allows them in a way to “take back control” from their abuser so that they can better cope with past traumas, then they’re inadvertently admitting that Sessrin does possess qualities associated with the past child sexual abuse they underwent. AKA Sessrin is relatable for its abusive dynamic.

I have to ask by the way, but why do you get so offended when we don’t support your ship anyway? Is it because we interpret it to be controversial and you don’t like your ship getting a bad rap? Is it because it would be insulting to admit that antis actually have a point in it being problematic and you rather double down instead? Or is it because you’re projecting yourself onto Rin and prefer to not go into detail about why that is? Maybe it’s too personal, or maybe it’s because deep down you’re ashamed. Of course that doesn’t mean you’re bad people, but suppressing these kind of negative emotions can’t be healthy for anyone. A little awareness and self-reflection on your part can benefit not just you but all of us in the long run. Cognitive dissonance can suck, but it’s also part of being human. 

I recently came across a comment I’d like to share with you. Unfortunately, this is not the first time nor will it be the last I see the likes of it. Anyway, in it a fan stated how embarrassing it must be being an Anti in this fandom when an episode like “Forever with Lord Sesshomaru” exists. Guys, this shipper and all those who liked their post are showing their true colors. Perpetuating and/or anticipating these sexualized images of young girls is a grave issue in both our society and media alike. I think we can all agree on that, or at least I hope so. It’s remarks like these that prove we still got a long way to go in terms of progress, and if we ever hope to effectively reverse some of our backwards way of thinking. So serious question for ya in regard to this: Why is it too much to ask that grooming be portrayed for what it is? Grooming. To clarify, grooming is bad and needs to be painted in a bad light. It’s as simple as that. If only we could all acknowledge it for what it is, we wouldn’t be in this predicament. 

Historical accuracy and cultural differences aside, it appears the crux of the matter between Sessrin shippers and Antis is our acceptance and/or denial of fiction’s influence on real life. If we can’t agree on this, then we’ll never agree on anything else. As mentioned earlier, there is more than enough evidence to support the idea that fiction impacts our lives in extraordinary ways. I, for one, believe in the transformative power of stories. I think they do more for us than many of us give them credit for and/or are inclined to admit. 

This is partially why I believe that the majority of sessrin folk are missing the point most of the time. All they do is focus on insignificant and irrelevant information that accomplishes nothing but more gaslighting and strawmanning. Whether it be an intentional or unconscious decision, whatever we argue goes right over their head. All they do is throw around deflections and antagonizing remarks that serve no real purpose other than to make Antis out to be the unreasonable and irrational ones. Making connections between our own lives and our stories is a completely natural and normal occurrence. If those particular shippers insist on denying just how interconnected real life and fiction both are, what that tells me is they’re either out of touch with reality or deliberately choose to be.

Just to be clear, I am of the opinion that most if not all antis aren’t real life predators. If they say they aren’t, I honestly take their word for it. Speaking to Sessrin shipper directly: We know it’s not Sesshomaru you want to be but Rin. No, we’re not calling you pedophiles or groomers. None of us think you are using a fictional ship to attract underage fans to be the Rin in your life or anything of the sort. We are well aware that many of you are self-inserting yourself as Rin, so please don’t feel the need to tell us yourself because that would be stating the obvious.

I learned from a few of you since this sequel was announced that the Sessrin relationship isn’t just a ship but an opportunity for you to confront the person who used and abused you. So there’s two issues with this I’d like to raise. (Sorry if I’m repeating myself, but it’s urgent I stress this again!) This is what I have to say:

If fiction does not affect real life or have the ability to normalize anything as you claim to believe, then why does “fixing” what happened to you via your preferred choice of coping associated with these two characters in the first place? Why bring your past abuse into this at all if at the end of the day it’s “just fiction” and nothing more to you but a source of entertainment?

By confessing that you use Sessrin to cope with your past trauma, you therein reveal that Sessrin does in fact resemble an adult-child relationship with a grooming dynamic. So why then would you want other fans to be exposed to a pairing that brings to mind the very abuse you endured? We’re supposed to stop this toxic cycle- NOT find more ways to manifest and relive it, much less subject other fans to it. 

You may think that Sessrin doesn’t fit the textbook definition of what child grooming is, but that’s not to say it doesn’t embody it or that it doesn’t at the very least have traces of it that stand out. 

“Antis are miserable people who don’t know how to enjoy a good story. It’s just fiction, stop ruining it for other fans!”

Well, no, it’s not just fiction or just a story. Some of you evidently went and proved that yourself, and without my help, by revealing how you relate Sessrin to your own life and apply it to cope with past abuse. Past abuse or not, as far as I can tell we’re all equally invested in these characters. That speaks volumes and just goes to show that fiction touches our lives in long-lasting ways.

I have something I want to say concerning some of who believe that it’s inconsiderate of antis who have been victims of grooming or another form of child abuse to tell other victims who ship Sessrin how they should cope with their trauma. Now as much as I respect the various means victims discover to deal with their painful pasts, there’s always an appropriate time and a place for these things to occur. We must seek out better ways to safely cope with the abuse we lived through (if any) without running the risk of hurting and endangering others. 

There are plenty of fans in other fandoms who don’t try to defend their ships going canon, because they’re able to recognize an unhealthy or toxic pairing when they see one and won’t try to justify it. A Sessrin romance simply does not belong on a show geared towards teens, and I really don’t need to go into detail about why we shouldn’t support it, at least canon-wise. Shipping Sessrin is your right, but if you don’t keep it to yourself and your corner of the fandom then you really shouldn’t be surprised by the opposition. All we ask is you respect that their specific dynamic falls under the category of child grooming (or very close) and should be treated as such in public. The world of fiction may be wider than the world we live in, but that doesn’t always mean “anything goes.” In the creative spaces our minds occupy we must still adhere to the same fundamental and moral guidelines we live by in life. There’s nothing wrong with exploring new terrains and experimenting with ideas, but we must also remember that our stories are all about communicating and connecting with people. So let’s please be more mindful of the sort of messages they’re sending. 

Besides, this isn’t only about you and what makes you feel safe, it’s about all of us. I don’t know how much more I can stress that really. How can thoughts endanger our children, you ask? Well, it’s not like we’re suggesting that our thoughts can jump out of our tvs, materialize themselves, and place kids under mind control. The forces behind fiction are a lot more complex and nuanced than a “monkey see, monkey do” approach, so don’t waste any more time trying to  describe that to us. You’re taking this argument in the wrong direction. 

Take the “violent video games breed killers” theory. I’m afraid you’re misconstruing what we’re saying and then taking it quite too literally. Please stop twisting our words, because nobody on our side is saying that just because you play violent video games that you’ll become a violent person. The Sessrin equivalent of that would be if you ship them then you must be a pedophile or turning into one. *sigh* I know you guys are feeling attacked, but I’m afraid your defensive nature is keeping you from thinking straight. Clearly, there are always exceptions (I’d recommend reading up on the Slender Man case), but Antis aren’t saying you’re one of them.

You see, it’s not so much about the content as it is the notion of the content. Kids and teens who are playing these video games have been informed that killing is wrong, because they grew up learning that early on like the rest of us. No sane person would advocate for violence and nonsensical killing in real life. Since they fully understand the severity of the consequences of killing a person in real life, they are able make a clear distinction between the two. When it comes to killing there is hardly any ambiguity. Sadly, that is far from the truth when it comes to sexualizing girls. It should immediately be perceived as wrong leaving no room for interpretation, and yet here we are still putting up with these inaccurate and demeaning female representations.

Most children who have been groomed don’t realize it till years down the road. If they aren’t ever taught the telltale signs to properly labeling grooming situations, how do you expect them to make sense of and relate to a fictional version? Let’s think of about it from a child’s perspective. Yes, this includes teens who rely pretty heavily on adult guidance and the content we put out there for them. Put yourself in their shoes for a moment and picture that you’ve never had child grooming explained to you (because that’s just the reality for so many unfortunately). Wouldn’t you say it’s possible for them to deduce that what they see on their screens is how they come to discern something in real life, especially if they have little to no experience with it? Perceived realism is plausible, y'all.

What it comes down to in the end is that the ideas and emotions we cultivate behind these stories leave an impression on others. Impressions are capable of influencing the way we see the world, which in turn affects us and beyond just our imagination. The way I look at it, stories contribute to how and why we normalize certain beliefs and trends. If fiction reflects real life like most of us tend to agree, then wouldn’t you say Sessrin is a (in)direct result of this world’s tendency to place young girls in overly sexual or romantic environments? Where do you think fiction draws its inspiration from? Sure, some of it originates from our imagination, but most of what drives us to create these stories is the real world and the people who live in it.

Fiction is meant to mirror reality, but it’s ridiculous to suggest that it’s only a one-way street. That fiction in no way, shape, or form influences our reality? Or that it only works the other way around? With all due respect, that’s simply not true. No productive discourse can be had if we choose to ignore the truth and don’t come together (at least halfway) to tackle the real issues at hand. 

Okay, I think I’ll leave it off there! Thanks so much for reading. I expect this to be my last blog on any topic regarding Inuyasha in the near future. As much as I’ve looked forward to answering all of your asks and writing all the blogs I have over these past almost 5 months, I think it’s best if I spend some time away for now. With the sequel fast approaching, I’m doing what I always do: hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. I’ve met some amazing people along the way, that’s for sure. And who knows, maybe you’ll see me active in the tags sooner than we think. Until then, it’s been an absolute pleasure! Enjoy the sequel, all of you. 💜

[kimnjss]

doitagain!yoongi | a-z

⤑  series: do it again

⤑ genre: smut, rapper!yoongi x model!reader, idol au

⤑ rating: explicit. // nd unedited.

⤑ warnings: smut talk... (mentions of) oral sex (f/m. receiving), penetrative sex, cumplay, masturbation, degradation kink, edging... c

⤑ A/N: im still a wh0r3 for do it again min yoongi and nope , i don’t want to do a thing about ittt , thank you very much xox .

A = Aftercare (what's he like after sex):

Even if you try to act like you're not, Yoongi knows that you're very particular with how you're treated after sex. Especially considering, he was the least bit gentle when fucking you, it was like you needed that reminder that he didn't mean the degrading words you loved to hear him mumble during. It didn't take long for him to recognize that you enjoyed taking a bath right after and in realizing this, he was always hoping out of bed without out a word to draw you one.

B = Body Part (his favorite body part of his and also yours):

Let's be real, Yoongi is not one to beat around the bush when it comes to you. Although, he liked every part of you from the tips of your fingers to the soles of your feet... it was obvious that his favorite part would be your pussy. From the way you taste to the way it squeezed around him, he could spend hours playing with you and not get bored.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum basically...):

You didn't really like the taste of cum that much, would still swallow if he finished in your mouth but preferred not to... Yoongi, knowing this, would always opt to paint your breasts with his cum instead. He also really liked the way your tits glistened with his arousal after.

D = Dirty Secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of his):

No matter how indifferent he acted when you did it, Yoongi really... like really liked when you said 'I love you' during sex. He loved to hear it in general, but while he was buried inside of you, making you whine and squirm... and he hears the breathless words leave your lips, it drives him crazy.

E = Experience (how experienced is he? does he know what he's doing?):

Yoongi is definitely experienced, but only when it comes to you. He knows what you like and how to get you right to the edge. You've been together for so long, so he was able to take the time to get to know your body it was basically second nature at this point.

F = Favorite Position (this goes without saying...):

Your studio visits are at the top of Yoongi's list, especially because they always seemed to end with you on his lap while he worked. It was his favorite to have you bouncing on his cock, while he lazily played with your clit – trying his hardest to keep his focus on the tracks he's supposed to be mixing.

G = Goofy (is he more serious in the moment, or is he humorous, etc.):

Yoongi is not serious, but wouldn't be as far as goofy. He's just comfortable around you and since you two have a few years under your belt – there is a sort of familiarity that comes with it, so the need to be serious or overly cautious takes the door.

H = Hair (how well-groomed is he, does the carpet match the drapes? how does he like you?):

As long as you're not complaining he doesn't care. Can't be bothered to keep up with it and sometimes lets the hair grow out wildly. He always keeps it clean and will be quick to get it trimmed if you were to make the slightest comment about it. As for you, he had no preference. Would compliment your clean shave, because he knew you'd appreciate it but wouldn't care either way.

I = Intimacy (how is he in the moment, romantic aspect...):

No room for romance. Tied in with his difficulty to freely announce his love for you, Yoongi wasn't a real big fan of the mushy romance that most guys displayed for their girlfriends. He did, though, make up for it with sweet things (i.e, always running a bath for you after sex).

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon):

Yoongi hates, absolutely hates, having to jerk off. Thinks its an unnecessary hassle that he'd rather just wait for you to do. The only time he'd be alright about it, if you were in the same room doing it too – with the promise of some one on one time right after.

K = Kink (one ore more of his kinks):

Biting. Spit. Face Sitting. Yoongi was always leaving bites on your neck, chest, collarbones, a nibble hear and there when he was eating you out. He liked the sound of your squeals at the feeling of his teeth sinking in and found the look of a love bite darkening your skin cute.

He likes it sloppy, when you're going down on him... when you're making out. When he's eating you out. It turns you on too, he can tell which has a lot to do with why he likes it so much. The way your eyes darken whenever he's getting ready to spit in your mouth has his cock twitching without a beat.

Just as much as Yoongi liked eating you out, he liked it more when you were sat on his face while he did it. A different feeling when you were grinding your heat down onto his tongue, his arms looped around his thighs. Plus, more often then not, you were falling forward to suck him off in the process.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do):

His studio. Most of his time was spent there anyway, and although, he was trying to get better at balancing his time and being more attentive with you... a lot of your dates were spent in the studio. Yoongi asked you many times if it bothered you and for the most part, you didn't seem upset about it. He never hesitated to take a break, though... taking you on the couch or in his studio chair...

M = Motivation (what turns him on, gets him going):

The sound of your voice. Now, Yoongi wasn't popping boners each time you opened your mouth to speak. But because you were hardly that vocal when it came to fucking, he was always noticing when you were more... expressive than normal. That automatically translates to him doing a good job, which egged him on well.

N = NO (something he wouldn't do, turn offs):

Threesomes. He is not into sharing you and won't even consider it for a second. Whether it was with a girl or a guy, it's a big NO.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.):

Giving. Although, Yoongi didn't mind if you were to suck him off – he didn't really need it as much as he needed to be between your legs. More often than not, he was waking you up with his tongue or stopping work just to have a taste of you... that was enough for him.

P = Pace (is he fast and rough? slow and sensual? Etc.):

Fast and rough unless he's tired... but even still it's hardly ever sensual. You like the way he rag dolls you, so he's never hesitating to let himself loose and do just that.

Q = Quickie (his opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often... etc.):

Quickies are definitely a necessity for the two of you. Because his schedule is so jam packed and you're getting so much more recognition with your modeling, the two of you don't really have that much time to just be any more. Which meant when you see each other is really the only time that you guys have to be together... that didn't leave much time for romance.

R = Risk (is he game to experiment, does he take risks):

Yoongi doesn't really care for taking risks, when it came to your sex life. There would be times where you'd fool around a bit in public... but nothing too serious that it could be considered risky. At the same time, though, he's so whipped for you that if you were suggesting something like that – he couldn't see himself refusing. S = Stamina (how many rounds can he go for, how long does he last...):

Two or three rounds would be his limit, long breaks in between but all in the same night. He can last for a while, since most of the focus was on you while fucking. Yoongi liked to get you off a least twice before he even began worrying about himself. T = Toy (does he own toys? does he use them? on a partner or himself?):

No toys. They're useless in his eyes. If you felt like you needed one, he'd just clear his schedule and do it himself.

U = Unfair (how much does he like to tease?):

Yoongi loves to tease you, but hardly in the bedroom. It's more so during the day when you were just out and about. He'd do little things that he knew would turn you on, or let his hands linger a bit too long, kiss you a little bit sloppier. Knowing that you'd be begging to go home so he can do all those things properly. V = Volume (how loud is he, what sounds does he make?):

Not so loud, but very vocal. Yoongi likes to tell you all the dirty things he has in store for you (always delivering), enjoying your reaction to the crude things he says to you. Praise is a big thing for him, because things often get intense between the two of you – he's always telling you how good you've been. W = Wild Card

In the event the two of you can't see each other for a long time. Either you're traveling for work or he is doing shows out of time... he would call you at night where you two would have FaceTime sex. Most times he'd just watch you get yourself off, but he'd be joining in if he was real turned on.

X = X-Ray (let's see what's going on in those pants, pictures or words):

Long and veiny. A little bit on the thicker side with balls a bit big. They're sensitive too, and he likes it a lot when you include during blowjobs.

Y = Yearning (how high is his sex drive?):

Very high. Everything you do is sexy to him and is down to fuck whenever you wanted. Even if he was exhausted, he'd still muster up all the energy he could to pull at least two rounds before he's falling asleep.

Z = Zzz... (how quickly does he fall asleep afterwards?):

Yoongi tends to fall asleep rather quickly after you've fucked. Especially if he joins you in the bath, he might fall asleep in the tub or the moment you're exiting and laying down together.

⤑ taglist: @randomkoalablog​ @hellotherehoneybee​ @goldenlilyz​ @strapsforyoonie​ @brilliantlybasicb @itsrapmonstanotdancemonsta​ @ratking101​ @butterflylion​ @swanqook @jaiuneamesolitaiire​ @cultleaderyoongi​ @honeybeesrec​ @crzybtslove​ @bangtansbun​ @snaconakookie​ @bookoffracturedescapes​ @seoulgotmysoul​ @tae165​ @jimintulips​ @korkanswers​ @softwithbubbles​ @hosucki​ @sayanne​  @heyitsbreeeeee​ @ladymidnightt​ @thecityrain​ @isimyazaki​ @crackhead1-800​ @sailor-moons-butt​ @honeyoongles​ @neptu-pysch​ @ashleyjoyx​ @falsegodtae​ @osnapjenn​ @betysotelo18​ @mochibabycakes​ @withlovestudyblr​ @hear-me-growl​ @dee-ehn​ @jeonkoookiee​ @comingjimin @purpleheartarmi​ @dammit-jjk​ @mermaid-vader​ @karissacranley​ @neptunejjk​ @morgsstudies-blog @mochiloverbts​ @mini-coop25​ @angjeon​ @seungkwanismyaesthetic​ @sugashoneyy​ @moonlightmvrvel​ @tahaing​ @bluefaeriefury​ @super-btstrash-posts​ @infiredbychogiwa​ @softlyjins​ @eugeneliem​ @moarmynation​ @honeyspillings​ @thefiresfromheaven​ @houseofarmanto​ @peterrogers15​ @rjsmochii​ @xxxanimangxxx​ @sku11z-n-r0s3z​

[procrastination-queenie]

BTS Princes!au

Note: 1)This is a modern Royal family! au headcanon. (I never saw any fic with the BTS members as brothers of a royal family, so why not post about the concept. 🤷🏽‍♀️)

2)All the members of BTS are brothers.

3) Yoongi and Hoseok are twins, and Jimin and Taehyung are twins, too.

4)This takes place in the present time.

5) I will make a separate headcanon for each member (how they meet their significant others and the weddings details)later, also might turn it into a series if it gets good response.💜

6) last but not least, none of the photos included are mine, only the edits are made by me.

First things first

Maknae line are so hard to tame, I am telling you.

Yet, the queen loves to pamper them because they're her babies.🥺

Hyung line are so formal and collected, unlike the maknae line.

They are always carrying out royal duties.

They are so concerned for their subjects.

Hate the idea of leading a lavish and luxurious lifestyle while there are people out there who are suffering.

Therefore, you find each prince supporting different causes.

Jin would be supporting organisations that help single mothers.👩‍👧‍👦

Yoongi and Hoseok would focus on mental health.🧠🗣️

Namjoon definitely supporting education.🎓🏫📕

Taehyung promoting environmental causes.♻️

Jimin would probably be interested in organizations that focuses on the issue of plastic pollution.🏭

Jungkook supporting anything related to physical health maybe doing something like The invictus games as Prince Harry did.💪🏼♿

But the nation has never been on edge like this since ages, everyone can't wait to see each Prince's choice of their future spouses.

Plus don't get me started on the idea of 7 different themed, royal weddings .... OMG!!!👀💃🏽

It got to the point that whenever any of them is seen with any woman then it's instantly assumed that she'd become a future Princess. 👸🏻👸🏼👸🏽👸🏾👸🏿

The king's advisors would suggest that he talks to the boys upon the matter since they're becoming of age and should start families of their own.

But he won't force them to do anything tho.

Like he'd discuss it with their mother while they're all out doing a traditional royal activity or something.

The Queen getting excited over the idea but won't pressure her boys just like their father.

The boys won't focus on that matter, they want to focus on helping the people more.

But that doesn't mean that they haven't thought before about meeting their significant others.😉

Especially when their parents, the king and queen, set a great example for love stories.

But they find it hard specially with all the attention being on them which is not giving them the space to focus on their love life.

During one of the rare interviews that the Palace allows them to do, the 7 Princes agreed that they won't mind marrying a foreign girl.

The King and Queen wouldn't mind, too. The most important thing is that their sons are happy.

Each one would meet the love of his life unexpectedly.

Surprisingly, first one to be in a relationship is Jin.

I know everyone said it would be Jungkook, but the poor boy can not imagine to put his future Princess under the spotlight with his lifestyle, so he preferred to wait and see how it would go with his hyungs.

Plus he didn't want to be the first one to settle because the intensified attention on him that will get worst as he's the golden maknae.

The last one to likely get married or settle down is probably Yoongi.

Everyone knew it really, especially the Queen.

When Yoongi was a smol baby,👶🏻 she realised that he cherished spending time by himself.

Don't get me wrong tho, Yoongi was a sweet baby.🖤

He got along so well with Hoseok and Jin.

He even loved playing the part of the big brother when the world welcomed baby Namjoon.

He would hug his siblings if anyone of them was crying and needed comforting.

She could remember that one time Jungkook was crying his heart out because Jimin snatched his favourite toy, and Yoongi would immediately comfort Jungkook and share his favourite blanket with him, but not before reprimanding baby Jimin and making him apologize to his little brother.

Such a sweet baby 🥺💜.

But again...

It's just that the Queen noticed that her second son was not really into being a sociable person like his brothers.

He can definitely be sociable, it's just he prefers not to be.

And because of that, she knew that her Yoongi won't settle with just anyone, and that it would take time.

The king is such a proud father because all of his 7 sons are hard working and passionate about their duties.

Jin and Namjoon are definitely the ones who lead most of the important royal events.

Jin is mature and knows how to handle himself with the public and the press.

Something that the maknae line still has to learn and perfect, that's their father's opinion.

while Namjoon is really well read in politics as it was his major.

So Jin and Namjoon definitely make a good duo when it comes to the political affairs of the country.

Hoseok,Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook are most likely the ones to be on the first page of the newspapers almost everyday.

As I said the citizens would be very interested in the life of their future rulers.

Therefore, the boys are always under a microscope.

Especially those 4 because they're bold and reckless, but like not in a bad way.

With the world evolving around them, many people do realize the fact that the concept of a monarchy is old news.

And that's why these 4 are working so hard to evolve their monarchy and keep up with the changes taking place.

Therefore, they manage to surprise their subjects by their open minds and their updated thoughts upon almost every matter.

That's why you can find them all over the global news every now and then more than the other monarchies.

The boys would all probably travel abroad to complete their education, then come back to enlist in the army.

Jin enlisting first of course as he's the oldest and finishing before them.

Then Yoongi and Hoseok complete theirs.

Followed by Namjoon

Then Jimin and Taehyung

Finally, ending with Jungkook.

And let me tell you something...

The Queen cried the hardest during Jungkook's ceremony.

I mean she did cry during the other ceremonies of her sons, too.

But Kookie's was the hardest.

Because that's her last baby🥺.

Plus you know how mothers always pamper their last child. ALWAYS.

It's so unfair.

The boys sometimes think that Jungkook is her favourite, but that's not true.

She loves them all equally.

"It just hits differently when you're letting your youngest baby off to face the world because he/she is all grown up now."

That's what she always says.

Now let's move on to the important stuff ...

The Queen has an important event at which she will be bored to death?

Don't worry😊.

Leave it to her youngest twins and Jungkook to accompany her.😈

They always know how to make their mother laugh when things get way too boring.

Of course they would all show up with all their glory 😉.

The Queen is so proud of her babies.

Like who wouldn't be proud of having 7 perfect handsome boys who are well mannered and such gentlemen.

They are so smart and are always up to learn more.

Here's how they turn her boring night into an eventful one:

Make her laugh over their silly attitude towards eachother.

You know like, Jungkook teasing Jimin for being short.

Or Taehyung squishing Jungkook's chubby cheeks.

Never fail in making their mother laugh.

But now moving onto the serious part.

Once the event starts.

They become focused.

Start firing questions. (Politely of course).

Want to know more about the matter discussed at hand.

Will intimidate the host by the amount of questions being asked.

Which leads other hosts to remind themselves to be prepared beforehand in case the 3 Princes decide to show up ... No one wants to be embarrassed in front of the royal family and the public and be accused of not knowing a certain detail about the matter they're responsible of.

The Queen would have a big proud grin on her face.

Proud of her babies for being so invested in the matters of their country.🤗

Now moving onto the older twins: 😉.

You know, everyone told the Queen that having twins would be a really unique experience.

And it was true.

She swears having her first twins was the funniest thing in her life.

She was astonished to find her babies becoming the total opposite of eachother.

Like, to her Yoongi's character is the moon 🌒 while Hoseok's the sun 🌞, and the cutest thing about it is that they complete eachother.

How cute is that. 🥺😍

As we said Yoongi is calm and prefers to spend time by himself and that wasn't any different when he was an infant.

But,Hoseok was and still is the total opposite.

Even tho they were similar when they were born.

But you would definitely know how to differentiate between them.

Baby Yoongi is calm while baby Hoseok is bubbly and energetic.

You'd probably find Hoseok fussing in the middle of the night, but YOONGI !!! 😂

Baby Yoongi appreciated his sleep over anything else. 😂😂😂

The Queen would remember toddler Yoongi falling asleep in weird places at weird times.

Like how he fell asleep under the dinning table during a royal family gathering in Christmas. 😂🤦🏽‍♀️

While Hoseok would cause many maids to hand in their resignation to the head staff of the palace due to his over energetic bubbly self.🤣

Definitely was the devil himself.

Pranking the staff and pushing them to their limits.😂

She would remember that one time when they were on a vacation and they were introducing the twins to the concept of a swimming pool....

Hoseok was ecstatic, he felt like he was on top of the world and kept splashing water at his mum by slamming his chubby little hands in the water. 😂

While Yoongi kept looking around like a grumpy cat then falling asleep in his father's arms with his chubby cheeks squished on his dad's bare shoulder.

Pouty lips slightly agape.

With drool falling from his cute little lips 🤤.

The Queen was laughing so hard that day at her husband who was trying to get any reaction from Yoongi but failed miserably. 😂

Getting out of the pool and putting the twins in their push chairs for a nap.

Yoongi grumping in his sleep because the sun was too much for him which led to him waking up feeling grumpier than ever.

Hoseok was too busy consumed in his curiosity by looking down from his high chair wondering why he is being restricted in it now when he was far away from being sleepy.

Now fast forward a few years later, and the twins were still the same in their mother's eyes.

Sometimes, she would look over at them and wonder if her grandchildren would look anything like their fathers and inherit their weirdly cute personalities, or maybe they would grow up to take after their mothers whom she still has no idea who they are or when would her boys meet them.

I mean let's face it, all mums get super excited when thinking about grandchildren.

The Queen actually caught herself imaging how her grandchildren will look like after the boys decide to settle down and start their own families.

Almost had a mini heart attack at the thought of the palace being invaded by her grandchildren.😂

That is if her sons decide to have as many children as she and her husband did.

Would secretly wish for girls because obviously she didn't have the experience of raising a girl.💜

Which will lead her to think of all the royal jewelleries that she will be giving to them.

But would push away the whole thought as she didn't want to pressure the boys.🥺

Now moving onto Namjoon:

Boy was the king and queen amazed when they discovered his love for reading at an early age.

Like he would spend so much time in the library of the palace, and afterwards would go to bed immediately.

The king promised not to tell anyone this except for Namjoon's future wife.

But one night when he was on his way to his room ...

He found Namjoon sneaking late at night out of his room and into the library in his cute baby blue onsies. 💙🥺

His father won't admit it, but he thought it was one of the cutest things ever.

Just like, how he found his oldest twins the total opposite of eachother. 😍

The king as a father was very involved in his sons' lives.

They made him so excited.

Like everyday they would teach him something new, and as a father he was and still is looking forward to know more about them.

How they think, react, and what do they like and dislike.

Raising them was such an adventure to him.

He remembers when they were first expecting Jin.

Everyone told him that having a son is like having a partner in crime.

And God blessed him with 7.

Too many partners in crime for the poor Queen's heart.😂

Well concerning Jin:

The king and queen remember how he was the second quietest baby after Yoongi.

Sometimes the Queen thinks that Jin is too mature for his age.

A perfectionist since childhood.

She could remember when he would throw little tantrums when things didn't go his own way.😂

As the eldest, he is doing a great job of looking out for his brothers.

She of course understands the way Jin is as he's the crown prince.

But still she can't help but worry that he takes the position too seriously that it can wear him out.

She just wants him to enjoy his life a little bit like his younger brothers.

When accompanied by one of the maknae line to carry out a royal duty, you can see him quietly reprimanding them (yet gently) to behave in front of the public and the paparazzi.

This one time the camera caught him giving Jungkook the look because he was fussing around.

Poor Kookie looking at the ground like a reprimanded little child muttering a "sorry hyung." 😂😂😂

Jin has this faint sided smile.

He loves his brothers,truly.

Can't help having a cute little smile whenever one of them would apologize for acting unprofessionally, he just loves to mess with them.

And they know it.

But they respect him so much that they won't argue about it. 💜

Now Jimin and Taehyung are a different story:

THESE KIDS ARE A MESS

I am telling you. 🙂

DO. NOT. LEAVE. THEM. TOGETHER. FOR. TOO. LONG. ⚠️

They will bring chaos upon the place.

Even though they are not identical twins.

But unlike Yoongi and Hoseok, they have a lot in common.

Would wear matching outfits when doing a royal duty.😊💜

The boys remember when Hosoek once suggested doing the same thing with Yoongi...

But he scoffed at him. 😂

Anyways.

Even though they are trouble, but that doesn't mean that they're unaware of their positions as princes.

Therefore they won't really do something reckless. But still they're crazy.

Insepararble.

If one leaves the other to carry out a certain royal duty without his twin.... They immediately feel uncomfortable.

You can definitely feel it that they're close brothers.

But again they're twins so you can't really blame them.

definitely helped Hoseok with his pranks on the staff of the place when they were kids.😂🤭

As for Jungkook, well...:

Last child, so definitely pampered all the time.

VERY CURIOUS.

you know how children are curious by nature, well.... He is extra curious.

Definitely the most athletic among his brothers.

Very competitive.

Don't ask me why!! But Prince Jungkook would be interested in fencing 🤺

Like I'd imagine him in that uniform, sword in his gloved hand, messy hair hidden under his helmet...

And oh my God ... I just melted at the concept 🤤

Such a hopeless romantic.🥺💜

Like when the king and queen would share a short loving kiss.

All the boys would act disgusted, but not Kookie.

He found it cute.

Like he would have a hint of a blush on his face.

Smile, face down.

Hoping to find someone like how his dad found his mum.

Like it really amazes him how after all these years, with seven kids, a heavy burden of ruling a country and yet they seem to be falling more and more for eachother everyday.

If the boys learnt one thing from their parents, it would be pure love.(romantically speaking.)

All in all, the boys are doing just fine as princes.

Carrying out their duties as professionally as possible.

Things are quite normal in their lives that is until ...

Each one finds his partner.😏💜

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A/N: Please, please, please I am begging you guys for the millionth time to not be silent readers and share your opinions. TELL. ME WHAT. DO. YOU. THINK. Pwetty pwease 🥺👉🏼👈🏼. Also I'll upload the second part of this when it gets a decent amount of likes so....

[traumatized-motherfuckers]

Friendship Dissolutions; A Lesson in Asshole Trauma Reactions

So this is normally my school day, but I’m feeling the need to dig into something else this morning. The past events of this weekend, annnnd the past nearly two years. Because, if you  hadn’t heard, relationships are hard and I like to embarrass myself by telling you about all my fuck ups.

You know, romantic relationships are a disaster for yours truly, but I always thought I was pretty good at the friendship thing. Since high school I’ve almost always had robust friendly relationships - both in depth and breadth. With the exception of a few difficult points in my life since 16, my phone has never been quiet, my weekends have only been isolating when I’ve been isolating myself, and I’ve always felt like I had humans on my side who were closer to kin than my actual family.

The thing is, there have been periods when this hasn’t been the case. I want to say that it’s generally when I’m in my worst mental health downfalls, but I don’t think that’s universally true. There have been variable reasons for separating myself from other people, or vice versa. Sometimes getting too busy, sometimes naturally growing apart, sometimes getting too obsessed with a romantic partner.

But, taking a more analytical view, underlying my lost friendship events, trauma has often been one of the influences that corrupted my friendships and left me lonely, even if it doesn’t seem like it at face value. The thing is, the trail of breadcrumbs might go back 20 years or so. I might not have been in a full-blown trauma state at the time, but those early life non-learnings about relationships have left their mark. So, yes, I do believe that CPTSD is the prerequisite for interpersonal disruptions and we’re not alone in that.

Anyways, in this Fucker’s life, for the past almost 2 years I’ve been in one of those friendship lulls. I’ve had casual friends, roommates, work-associates, distant relationships, some of those hey-how’s-it-going-every-two-months relations. But I haven’t had those deep, rich, all-encompassing friendships that used to define my existence. The ones that used to make me feel safe enough to have an existence, at all.

It’s all because I lost my core group of friends, I didn’t understand and couldn’t fix the problem, and I had no idea how to move forward.

And this last time when I lost everyone I loved, it was definitely due to trauma. Acute, historical, and recovering trauma, to be specific. It was a horrible period of my life, I was a human wrecking ball, and I had no emotional control… because, partially thanks to said friends, I never had to develop those skills.

Basically, I’ve been on my own since a whole series of mental health related isolation events and relationships dissolutions that have persisted since - I want to say 2019 - but to be more holistic, the ship started sailing earlier than that. Like, when I was born.

This has all come to mind more than usual because, this weekend? I had a strange rush of humans back into my life. For the first time in a long time, I saw my best, closest, most important old friends, who were closer to siblings…. In our natural habitat, with our normal friendship routines, with hundreds of memories from the past decade flying around the room.

And today… or, realistically, since I tried to go to sleep after seeing them each day this weekend… I have the relationship reckoning to deal with. The emotional and cognitive processing of everything that’s happened. The lost years. The sense of abandonment. The feeling of being cast out of a family. The inkling that everyone was talking about me. The realization that I was acting a fool, and maybe they should be talking about me. The sense that all parties were partially responsible, but I was the one to blame. The voice in my head that has called me a crazy, miserable, unlovable mess the entire time I debated this at 6am and 6pm and 3am for the past several years.

And now, in the aftermath, I have to work through the dynamic cocktail of feelings, the sense of waiting for the other shoe, and the big decision - are these relationships that I feel secure pursuing again?

And I don’t think I’m alone in this one.

So, today I thought it would be good to talk about this. The history of losing my favorite people on the planet, how I perceived it at the time, how I see my own trauma-actions fucking shit up in hindsight, how I’ve forgiven myself for being such a wild one, and… well… my hesitancy to have close friendships with humans who hurt me in the past. The ways I realized that being separate was beneficial to my mental health and life progress. The self-sabotaging enablement patterns that I now recognize, ran deep, in our old group of friends. The fear that being around them again will let my trauma brain run away with me.

Woo - it’s a whole personal relationship reckoning over here. Let’s just do this, so I can get to my school work at some point soon.

History

So let me set up this situation. You need the background details, of which, there are many dramatic twists and turns.

Be me, Spring of 2019. My romantic relationship with my ex in Atlanta - the musical narcissist that I followed to the city - is going terribly. Since we moved things have been rocky, but now our relationship has been pumped full of disappointment, unfair expectations, emotional codependency, resentment, horrific fighting, and abuse of all colors. Every day is a battle. We’re rarely ever “happy” together. We’re closer to enemies than friends. And we live under the same roof - the one his parents bought for him, outright in cash - to make matters even more fun.

Other than him, I’m alone in this city. I work at the brewery, where no one really likes me. I have one friend from work, but little time to interact thanks to the demanding schedule of my ex with his gigs and out-of-state child visitation.

Financially, my savings have been depleted by floating my significant other’s horrible decisions for the past 2 years. We can never get ahead. He never pays me back for anything. I’m basically in his pocket, as far as needing resources to survive.

As you can imagine, and as I’ve described previously, my mental health is in THE SHITTER. Maybe worse than it’s ever been, although this is hard to judge against some of my earlier years in my 20’s. I’m definitely ramped up in an aggressive and defensive trauma state more than ever before, thanks to living with my aggressor every day. I feel like I’m surviving against the will of my partner, who seems to legitimately be doing his best to drive me into an early grave every single time the sun rises. He’s moved into the territory of intentionally triggering me for hours on end, upsetting me to the point of mental breakdowns, and then gaslighting me for “acting so crazy.” Things have become dangerous, I have no one to turn to, and no cash to get myself into a better situation… not that I know what a better situation even looks like.

But one day, I left. Packed my two bags, went to work, wound up at that single sort-of-friend’s house, never went back home.

And that’s when the real nightmare started. I mean, my ex was a terror over time as we lived together, but a narcissist scorned is a narcissist determined to ruin your fucking life. He harassed me daily via text, phone call, FB messenger, email, stalkings… whatever you can think of. When I blocked him on everything, he started trying to leverage our therapists against me until they refused to interact anymore. He wouldn’t let me into his house to get my stuff. He tried to have me arrested for attempting to do so, after he made arrangements with me to move that weekend. He suddenly refused to even acknowledge that he owed me a dime, and found a way to tally up venmo transactions to show that I actually owed him. He took my only support - our dog, who was really my dog - away and wouldn’t let me see him. Later, he reported my car stolen, so I had to purchase a new one without warning.

The list goes on and on. Just, assume every pathetic, cruel, desperate attempt at getting under someone’s skin and reminding them that they had the audacity to leave you. That’s what was going on in my world.

Meanwhile, with those financial and social pressures I mentioned earlier. No close friends in the area, no spare cash, an unstable job where I was on the chopping block for the reason of “the CEO didn’t like my personality,” nowhere to live, no idea where to go next or how to start a whole new life.

Annnnnd this is right about when my closely knit friend group back in Illinois sort of, well, dipped.

My bestest, best, most treasured friend in my lifetime had always been there for me. But now, she wasn’t. We had exchanged a handful of phone calls over the past month in the aftermath of this relationship ending, but she had been pretty detached from it. I wasn’t offended, because she had certainly heard enough of the drama in real time… of course she was tired of hearing about it...  but I was feeling especially alone and incapable of handling everything on my own, so the distance was difficult, nevertheless. Then, one day she told me that I was being too much for her. I had too high of expectations. It had been bothering her for a while. She needed me to understand and give her some space.

And this was the completely avoidable beginning of the end of my friendships. Let’s talk about why.

How I perceived it

So, I’m pretty sure you can guess how I took this challenging message from my best friend. Uh, poorly. I was so shocked that in my darkest hour, my comrade would feel like my problems were out of her paygrade. It felt like a stab to the heart and straight down through the gut. Here I was, completely alone and isolated, reaching back to my most trusted companions for a lifeline to keep my head above water, and… nothing. She didn’t want to reel me back into the boat.

I responded with some shitty messages about how I really wasn’t asking that much from her and I didn’t appreciate being blindsided by her sudden decision to get rid of me. I had only taken up a few phone calls to talk things through based on her schedule. I had visited her one weekend as I went to a job interview nearby. I had asked her to come visit me soon, so I could feel less alone for a few days. I didn’t think it was fair that she was responding this way. I couldn’t believe she would turn her back on me at this particular moment.

And so, the rift developed. We stopped speaking. I started sobbing. I was absolutely beside myself, as if I hadn’t already been. This wasn’t what I wanted, at all, but I also felt like I had no control in it.

.......

Like it? Well I’m too lazy to post the whole thing here. Check t-mfrs.com for the full blog AND the podcast recorded version. Yawelcome. 

www.t-mfrs.com 

(Traumatized Motherfuckers)

[fearfulkittenwrites]

Zukka Youtuber AU (pt 1)

Youtuber au inspired by @ratatosk-express – Link to the post (https://ratatosk-express.tumblr.com/post/622032956613115904/okay-so-idk-if-youtuber-aus-are-still-a-thing)

Sokka has a channel dedicating to his inventions and other projects, but his live streams are particularly famous for the amazing stories he tell.

Basically everything is the same, except it’s in a modern setting and Sokka is relatively internet famous.

** Hey, just a little heads up, I change some things from the original post, I hope it’s not a problem! **

Sokka tells his audience a lot of stories during his streams. Most of them are from his journey with the avatar, although he occasionally talks about his childhood in the Southern Water Tribe. Many of his fans watch these streams because of them, even if the overwhelming majority believes them to be fake. After he came back and decided to expand his content, Sokka found out he is particularly good at storytelling, and it granted him an audience that didn’t even followed his main channel but appreciated the contents of his lives.

He got annoyed sometimes when he recieved comments that treated his life experiences as a fantasy. His biggest mistake was sharing Yue’s story with his fans; all of the teasing and ‘yeah right’ comments really got to him, but there wasn’t much to be done. It was quite a surreal story, and if they wouldn’t believe him there wasn’t much he could do to prove it. Too many people have already forgotten the old spirits of the moon and the ocean and how crucial they are to water benders, so if they didn’t believe that, they wouldn’t believe Yue’s sacrifice.

They did believe his stories about the Kyoshi Warriors. After all that happened the girls became quite famous, and even if they thought the details were too exagerated and fake (I mean, the avatar was there? And he dated one of the warriors? Please.), it wasn’t impossible, that’s for sure. I mean, he did talk about attending formal events with his boyfriend, so, yeah, why not? The Kyoshi Warriors attend those too, don’t they?

Speaking of his boyfriend, he told them little about him. His audience knew he existed, but he was never seen on camera and there were many stories or commentaries involving him, but he never went too deep into it. When asked about it, he told them his significant other was a private guy, and he himself didn’t feel like there was a huge need to share their romantic lives online. Most people were pretty respectful from that point onwardars, although there are always some exceptions.

More often than not, his quick comments about his daily life involved him, and everyone though they were super sweet, although most of them gave his audience the impression that he was dating a very socially awkward and overly emotional man. They weren’t exactly wrong, they just didn’t have the whole truth; still they always asked Sokka to see them at least once during his lives. One of the most know and loved stories about him had been told in a stream as he built a new house for the turtle ducks’ lake. The last one was getting too old, and he had nothing else to do with his time.

“Hey, did I ever tell you guys about the time my boyfriend brought like, eight little turtle ducks home?”

The comment section was filled with negative responses, although some were very panicked.

“Yeah, it’s true. Happened about two weeks after I moved in. They were all babies and their mom got hit by a car? Some jerk was probably speeding and the poor creature died, leaving her children behind. He brought them here because they were too young and he was afraid they’d die if left alone.”

Many comments were praising him for the action, and some were worried about what happened to the little creatures.

“It was kinda of cute but I got a little freaked out about where to put them. Then he told me we have a pond? I swear, this place is so big I could die from starvation after getting lost on my way to the kitchen.”

He laughed. Once again, a lot of comments talking about how full of shit he was flooded the chat.

“I’m serious guys. I’d rather bring him to my tribe, but that’s really not an option, unfortunatly. So I moved here, and I think I only know about 30% of this building even after being here for like, almost a year.”

Someone told him to write a map.

“Hah, yeah, I should probably do that.” He smiled. “Actually, that reminds me of that time me and my friends got stuck in a cave with a bunch of crazy hippies while trying to get to Omashu. We were looking for an earth bending master for Aang. It was wild, the tunnels kept moving so I couldn’t keep a map of the labyrinth, and a badger mole almost ate me.”

The comment section went wild again. Some people were excited because he was finally telling a story, some people were calling bullshit on the moving tunnels... It was chaotic, and Sokka loved that. He was pretty chaotic himself, so this crazy comment section always amused him.

Sokka didn’t care that his stories weren’t believed. He understood that his situation was... unusual. Besides, many stories he told were of public knowledge already, he just set the record straight for most of them, adding unknow details or straight up correcting lies. There was only one thing he couldn’t stand being questioned on; his skills. When he mentioned he once built an armor for Aang’s sky bison, he wasn’t mad when they laughed at the idea that he was the avatar’s friend, no, he was mad when someone commented that he was lying about knowing how to build an armor. After that, he put out a series of videos on his channel in which he forged an armor for himself from scratch, even if he knew he’d never use it (And every single one of them started with a screenshot from said comment).

So his irritation at this moment really shouldn’t be a surprise. After showing off the sword he made for his channel, he told his audience about how he learned all he knew in the art of the sword from Piandao, who told him he had great potential to surpass even him. Of course, the comment section laughed again.

“It’s true!” He exclaimed, exasperated “Why would I lie about something like that? Okay, I see why I would lie about something like that, but really, I’m not lying. I swear!”

The comments still went on.

“Okay, you know what? I’ll prove it.” He got up and moved some furniture around to open enough space for a duel “HEY JERKBENDER,” He yelled from his door “GET IN HERE! AND BRING YOUR SWORDS!”

The audience heard a voice.

“What is it, Sokka? Did something happen?”

“No babe,” They heard Sokka answer, with a much softer tone this time, before planting a kiss to the other’s face “My viewers think I’m lying about being a swordsman, so I need to prove myself.”

“Really?” They heard an unimpressed voice.

“Hey, you’re all about honor, aren’t you? Help me defend mine for once.” Sokka apeared in the picture again, smiling, followed by Zuko, as in the Firelord Zuko. Many jaws were dropped.

“Fine, but I won’t make this easy.” He swung his dual swords.

“Me neither.”

They attacked each other for some time, occasionally getting out of the frame before jumping back in. Sokka eventually tossed an used shirt at Zuko’s face to throw him off. It made him confused, but he didn’t give up so easily.

“Unfair!” He exclaimed, getting up and defending himself from another one of Sokka’s attack “I’ll fire bend if you keep this up.”

“You’re getting me a replacement for anything you burn!” Sokka complained, jumping on his bed for leverage, but Zuko kicked it and he fell with an emasculating yelp. The fire bender had the upper hand now, but Sokka was quick to get up.

Eventually, Sokka managed to disarm Zuko, and used the tip of his sword to lift his chin up.

“You really ought to practice more with the swords.” He said, a smug smile on his face.

“Shut up, you dork.” Zuko answered, a little frustrated from the loss, but mostly proud of his boyfriend’s mastery.

He walked up to his boyfriend, replacing the blade with his fingers.

“Thanks baby. You’re the best.” He leaned in and softly kissed him. Once he tried to step back, he felt Zuko gripping him by the waist, holding him and deepening their kiss.

“I miss you. We barely had any time together this week.” Zuko complained “Go by my room when you’re done, okay?”

“Sure babe.” Sokka smiled, still being held by Zuko “Wait, why don’t you say hello, then I end the transmisson, huh? They’ve been wanting to see you for a while.”

“Really?” Zuko asked, a little amazed and curious.

“Yeah! I think they fell in love with you after I told them about the turtle ducks. But, honestly, who wouldn’t.” Sokka smiled and guided him to the camera “See guys, I told you I’m a...” He turned his face to the screen again “Oh.”

“Oh.” Zuko mimicked, watching as the comments rolled in faster than he could read, all of them some sort of variation of ‘Is that the fucking Firelord?’.

“I-I...” Sokka stuttered “I mean, I’m pretty sure I mentioned his name.”

A comment said ‘Yeah but there are many Zukos in the world’.

“It’s not my fault you don’t believe my stories! I told you I travelled with the avatar, the same avatar who is friends with the Firelord, who happens to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda obvious.”

‘Wait’ Said another comment ‘SO IT’S ALL TRUE???’.

“What do you mean it’s all- Yes it’s all true. Of course it is.” He looked at the comments flooding in and sighed. “Y’know what? I’ll deal with this tomorrow. I love you guys, but I’m a little too tired to do this now. Byeeee!”

With that, he turned the stream off. Zuko had an amused smile on his face.

“What?” Sokka asked.

“Nothing.” He answered “I’m just... I don’t know, when you said they wanted to see me I thought it was because I’m the Firelord and all. But... They didn’t know. They wanted to see me from the dumb stories you tell them about me.” Zuko smiled at the ground “You must’ve painted me in a very kind light, love.”

“I mean... There’s no way I can paint you in a bad light, really.” Sokka placed his hands in Zuko’s waist “You know that, don’t you?” Zuko kept his gaze fixated on the ground “Zuko, baby, you’re a great, kind, brave man. And I’m madly in love with you because of it.”

“I love you too Sokka.” Zuko smiled, but still couldn’t bring himself to look at Sokka. After some time together, Sokka figured it was best to just let him look at wherever, if it made him comfortable. He already had to sustain too much eye contact as fire lord, so when he was in his arms, Sokka just wanted the man to be at ease. Even if that meant he wouldn’t always look him in the eye.

“C’mon,” He squeezed his sides slightly “Take me to your room, my lord, because mine is too messy for the cuddles you deserve.” Sokka teased, getting a small chucke from Zuko as he turned to walk out of his boyfriend’s chaotic room.

“It is impressive how messy your room is, considering our maids clean it everyday.”

“What can I say? It’s one of my many talents.”

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I know that originally Zuko’s supposed to win, but like... In my mind, after all that happened, their skills were pretty much on the same level, and considering that Sokka would have more free time to practice than the Firelord would, well... I think his victory is not all that surprising plus i think his smug smile directed at zuko would be so cute and make him melt af

[magireco]

ive never played/watched magireco but do you think the large cast is a part of iroha just being seen as “madoka 2” ?? ive never touched the thing because from what i know its much darker than the original anime, but i do know there’s like 20 thousand megucas in the game and each of them has their own story, so there’s plenty of characters that could be seen as more interesting. theres also the fact that a lot of people dont like gacha games (and magireco, other than being one, is sexualized quite a bit so that probably makes people steer away from it as well, but that’s another topic) and magireco NA no longer exists anyways so it’s harder to actually understand the new content, plus as far as i’m aware season 2 of the magireco anime has not been confirmed to be planned? correct me if i’m wrong on that though

hi!! i have a lot to cover with this ask, so i’m going to answer your questions as neatly as i can in a fun little numbered list. read under the cut!

1. what do you mean by large cast? if you’re talking about how there’s more characters in the game/anime than in the original series, then i don’t think that really has anything to do with iroha. it might just be to garner fans’ collective interest since the original anime hit it off so hard. also, it’s just really hard to please huge collectives of people, especially really critical anime fans... *shiver.*

2. i think iroha bearing a similar resemblance to madoka was used to draw old fans back in, as well as living up to the tradition of all “main character” magical girls having pink hair. iroha and yachiyo were probably meant to resemble madoka and homura at least design-wise, and also seeing iroha, madoka, and homura together in one image is visually appealing; the colors and the familiar faces next to a new face are nice to look at.

3. magia record is not nearly as dark as the original series! in the anime, there are no main-cast deaths. this does not inherently prove that a show isn’t dark, but literally, the only onscreen death is of yachiyo’s friend from her original team, and that was in a flashback... rather than slowly losing characters as the story goes on, it starts off with iroha alone, then she meets other magical girls and they form a team, etc. i go on about this on my blog bc, once again, in my opinion, magia record has much more hopeful undertones and actually gives the girls a chance to, well... live. it’s an alternate timeline(that madokami can’t interfere with, there’s lore to that) wherein glasses homura is the homura featured(she actually gets a lot of character growth in the game), the main quintet is all together, the mikazuki villa crew really are just the found family trope combined in a little package. 

4. there are a few reasons for there being a lot of characters in the game, one of them being that they literally adapted every spinoff into the game. oriko magica, tart magica, suzune magica, kazumi magica... all those characters are there. then they added a bunch of side characters, which, i dunno? there are some side characters i really like and others i just kind of don’t really care about. but they really grow on you! .... most of them. 

5. yeah, blegh. the game certainly has its flaws(the whole series does, but that’s another ask for another day). the anime is much, much less fanservicey though! i have my gripes about the designs and i certainly have my gripes about the way the characters are drawn sometimes (looking at you, swimsuit mami artist), but with me being an experienced gacha player (unfortunately) that was just something i decided to put up with in exchange for a fun story. i can see why people might get the misconception that the anime is just as sexualized, though. i don’t like the main characters’ designs that much, honestly... they all show too much skin, so i agree. weird.

6. season 2 was confirmed! 

7. NA was discontinued right after the first arc of the series. disappointing (oh, i could go on), but we got to see a lot of iroha’s character development in the story.

8. what i was really trying to get across with that post was really just to gripe about in-fandom stuff. there are plenty of other characters that could be seen as more interesting than iroha, especially considering the mikazuki villa girls are all so varied, but that’s kind of how it is with every series, honestly. there’s always going to be one character that seems less interesting compared to other ones. i just kind of realized that iroha gets the short end of the stick compared to the other girls. not only because of her resemblance to madoka, but because of her perceived blandness and the lack of people who care to analyze why she might act that way. her pink motif and gentle, kind demeanor translates as “madoka copy” in people’s heads, and, y’know, it translated like that in mine the first time i saw her, too. but, when you actually think about her arc aside from her resemblance to madoka in several different ways, you get a really interesting and special character; just as special as the others! there was a similar issue with madoka, honestly, with people brushing her off because she wasn’t as “emotionally deep” as the rest of the quintet, even though that’s not true at all. i think it’s unfair that people will brush off a character just because they’re nice; that they’ll reduce characters like iroha and madoka to their cuteness and kindness only and not analyze the rest of the details that they have intentionally(or sometimes unintentionally, y’know how anime writing can be) been written with! 

...but then again, i’m biased in my own way, admittedly. i relate to iroha (i really just made that post because i was thinking about how i’ve never seen someone touch on how her memory gaps affect her), and i just wasn’t seeing any coverage on it, so i thought, someone has to do this! i also just... don’t see people who coin themselves as “iroha fans” very often? she’s one of the characters who is there, but usually not deemed interesting enough for someone to be a superfan of. i’m probably hypocritical, considering homura akemi is my favorite character and she’s pretty popular in the fandom, but what i said is more of an observation than an accusation anyway. i had similar feelings with madoka, but i haven’t gone on a proper ramble about that yet. 

...these characters also aren’t real people, so i’d say i probably shouldn’t go on such long rambles about them, but i really do feel like they reflect a lot of real life experiences sometimes. like, me connecting to iroha’s struggles is something that connects her character to an actual experience. however, like i said in my original post, i am very much an overanalyzer, and i tend to take concepts and just run with them, especially when something stands out to me. this is also just a magical girl show, so i’m really not taking anything that personally. 

also, to clear anything up, the original post wasn’t meant to come across as me being angry, per se, at people who think iroha is boring, it just kind of ticks me off that she’s brushed off so quickly in the larger fandom because of her demeanor. this doesn’t really apply to people who aren’t into the series at all yet, because i’d literally also think “okay so we have madoka, and madoka with a hood” if i were in your shoes! also, people are allowed to dislike characters for no reason. i’m just silly and go on long defensive rants over the sad magical girls, and would probably be sad if people didn’t like iroha because of the reasons i mentioned. 

all in all, i do reccomend magia record very much if you can get past the sexualization of the gacha cards and the, um... poorly designed outfits. because the NA server has been shut down, there are channels on youtube that graciously upload videos of the in-game stories as well as side stories! in the game, there are sometimes entire side stories for characters’ outfits. because it’s a gacha game, there are events and such, and the event stories i’ve seen and/or read (most of the ones i’ve read have to do with homura though) are a lot of fun. i reccommend checking out muffinrecord’s channel if you’d like to read any of the stories (hopefully you’re the type of person who can sit and watch live2d models move around with boxes of text on the bottom for 25 minutes like me). they have everything sorted into playlists in that section of their youtube. of course, i also reccomend watching the anime, if you’re interested! the animation is polished and nice, even if the story is a little hard to follow at times. but if not, that’s okay too. 

thank you for the ask, and i hope i could clear some things up for you!