#life is tough & i hope everyone who is skipping meals gets a chance to eat at the table instead

[emdotcom]

Shout out to folks suffering with eating disorders. I hope you know that whatever body you have is worthy of love, & I hope your next meal is filling.

It's hard to quit, once you start to starve yourself, but even if you can just start small by getting a snack when hungry, I think you can & should break out of that. I've been hungry, in this life, & I don't think anyone deserves what it does to you.

[darkacademicfrom2021]

All flavours of wrong (part 1)

Masterlist Part 2

Pairing: Loki x Reader (gender neutral) (reader gets called princess and Queen mockingly, but it can have no gender connotations, just as in a joke).

Summary: You got an arranged marriage with the firstborn prince of Asgard, inheritor of the crown, God of Thunder. But your heart has other plans, that your brain cannot yet comprehend. And on Loki’s side it’s not getting easy either.

Word count: 4.5K

Warnings: Sexual tension (a lot). And honestly not much more? Mentions of blood.

I used prompt #293 and prompt #279 from @creativepromptsforwriting to take me out of a block, so thank you so much to this page, it’s incredibly useful! I recommend all writers to check it out.

“Thor”, whispered Loki. But since his four failed attempts at calling him discreetly went wrong, he stepped on his foot under the table, making him spill wine all over his trousers.

“For Gods’ sake, brother, what do you want?”.

“Well, finally. Are you ignoring me? I’ve been trying to get your attention all dinner”.

“Yes, of course I’ve been ignoring you”, said as if it were obvious. It wasn’t.

“Why?”, Loki asked, trying to not sound hurt.

“You know why”, muttered under his breath, faking a smile when his gaze met his mother’s. “And shut up, we’re not supposed to talk if Allfather is not here yet”.

“Look, if it’s because I set on fire your History books, get over it, it’s not like you were doing great with that anyways”.

“You… you did what? It was you?”.

“Yes, of course. Oh, you didn’t know. Well, what are you ignoring me for, then? Ah, I know. Is it because I broke the…”.

“How many things of mine have you been destroying lately?”, Thor raised his voice slightly.

“Boys, enough”, interrupted Frigga. “Cut it off, your Father will be here soon”.

The siblings went back to their plates, and Loki kept stealing glances at his brother, trying to figure out what was wrong. Thor was nervous; his leg kept bouncing and bouncing, he barely touched his food (which was very suggestive, given that he usually ate it all in two mouthfuls), and he was refilling his cup with the strongest wine of the table, as if he needed to loosen up for something. Loki decided it was better off to just pay attention to what would come next. It was evident his Father would be bringing the thing that made Thor so nervous.

And then it hit him; it was already June.

The previous year Odin announced the possibility of an arranged marriage to whoever was winning on the competition for the throne, if he hadn't gotten anywhere near a possible royal companion. Thor was winning, by far; of course. And he didn’t show any partner, or even the possibility of a future partner, so no wonder why he was so nervous.

Loki went back to his plate, not sure how to feel. Annoyed, that was for sure. He knew he wasn’t going to be King (at least not until his brother died, if he didn’t die first), but the preparations for his inheritance got there faster than he expected. It was all too quick. And the disappointment grew bigger the more he thought of it. His father was not even giving him the chance to get better in the competition, and instead he just assumed it was Thor who’d win. Frustrating. Obvious, but still frustrating.

The doors opened and a young and bright warrior followed the footsteps of Odin. He, with a smile from ear to ear, waited until getting the attention of everyone, and, directly looking into Thor’s eyes, introduced you with your full name and current social status. Loki couldn’t stop staring with his lips slightly parted.

That was it. That was what annoyed him the most. His brother got to marry that.

He just couldn’t believe his eyes. He blinked fast to see if there was something deceiving his perception, if maybe his whole family arranged a joke to him, if maybe that little warrior was an illusion casted by his Mother to laugh at how unfortunate he must have been looking at that moment. At the moment he realized his brother was marrying the perfect partner for Loki. You were, at least in the physical sense, his literal type. He was baffled.

And that didn’t go unnoticed by Thor either, who stole a glance from him and chuckled mockingly. Loki went red of embarrassment and tried his best to hide from you, to avoid your gaze, but he just couldn’t keep his eyes off you. He felt hypnotized, and bothered. You didn’t look at him. You looked everywhere but him. You were amazed by the palace, by everyone around you. It was obvious you were not familiar with a royal life.

“You seem bewildered, brother”, Thor whispered in his ear.

“And you don’t seem as astonished as you should, brother”, he answered with levels of sarcasm in his tone he didn’t even know he had.

“I shouldn’t, this is merely formal”.

“You’re marrying them. It’s not entirely formal. It’s a whole future and family”, Loki discussed, but he knew his brother didn’t care about it enough. His brother didn’t even want the throne that badly, yet he was the one getting it. More and more frustration flowed through Loki’s veins. He kept staring at you with a frown. “Besides, look at that piece of art”.

He looked so tough, so serious, until you stared back. No, you didn’t even stare. You looked up and found his eyes. He quickly softened his expressions as you gifted him a gentle smile. His heart skipped a beat.

And just with a smile he knew, he was completely fucked.

Loki closed his eyes and shut his fists as hard as he could, trying to focus and concentrate only on what he was supposed to. The spell.

But you were looking, and it was hard.

A week passed by, and you were already living in the palace, bonding with your future husband and trying to learn as much as possible from the new life you would acquire once the wedding passed. You met him everywhere; in the halls, on the meals, on the trainings, on the classes; everywhere. He had no means to escape you. Nor did he want to. But he couldn’t get used to that horrible and sweet feeling of his chest getting tighter, face warmer and balance unsteadier when he saw you.

“You’ve got this, Loki. We’ve been over this”, Frigga said from the other side of the training room. “Just remember what we practiced yesterday”. But the only thing Loki remembered from yesterday was when he was trying to train that same spell and you were, at the same time, practicing your archery skills outside. Sweaty. Tired. Ecstatic. Smiley. Red.

He opened his eyes and dropped his arms, completely giving up. He knew he wouldn’t be able to do even a simple spell in front of you.

“What is it that’s distracting you so much, son? You have your head too full for this”, Frigga commented, getting closer to him.

“I’m simply tired, Mother. Don’t worry about it, had a poor night of sleep”.

“Well, get it together for this afternoon. We’re trying again after you get some rest, alright?”.

“Yes, Mother”.

You weren’t paying much attention to the conversation prince Loki and the Queen had. You were way too focused on how uncomfortable the clothes you had to wear were in you. You could barely breathe, and had to fix your posture to avoid choking. Besides, you could feel prince Thor’s eyes on you, and somehow it made you extremely uncomfortable.

You knew you would marry him. Then why couldn’t you at least fake a little bit of interest in him?

You redirected your attention to prince Loki, once again, and the corset was not the only thing that made your breathing harder. Gods, and for the Nine Realms, the prince’s training clothes were something else. Not even compared to Thor’s tank top and weird-looking shorts; Loki’s were almost made exactly for him and his silhouette. Black leather pants and top covering him almost entirely, tight even where it shouldn’t be that tight. Gold endings everywhere and little patterns in his long sleeves and trousers; details that only made it harder for you to not look. But you didn’t even know where to look, if you looked.

Well, you knew exactly where you should’ve been looking. To your side. The blonde and huge man with the big hammer that promised you a crown, a throne and a good place for your family to live in.

You shook your head, and got up to make yourself some tea, hoping the wrong thoughts would fall off your brain and you’d finally come to your senses.

Once you made it to the kitchen, you realized you shouldn’t have gotten there by your own. Unable to get used to the fact that if you wanted some tea you should ask for the maids to make it for you (as with everything, even the clothes you would wear, the foods you’d eat, the way the bed should be made, and an infinite etcetera), you ignored it and put the kettle on the fire.

You tried to reach for the tea box on the countertop, and stood on your toes, failing to even touch it with the tips of your fingers. As you turned around to look for a chair to climb to, you blundered against the God of Mischief’s chest.

“Oh, dear, I’m so sorry”, he apologized, taking a step back. “I was about to get the tea box for you”. You felt yourself completely red.

“It’s… it’s fine, thank you. I’m sorry” you stuttered nervously, with the echoing feeling of his torso against your arms and chest, making you blush even more. You wondered if he did that accidentally.

He smirked slightly and reached for the box effortlessly, making deep eye contact. Was he… was he flirting, somehow? you asked yourself. No, of course he wasn’t. That would be a hundred percent inappropriate, and he was completely appropriate and polite all the time. Even when he shouldn’t have. So, what was that about? Did he usually look at people like that?

“Breaking some rules, I see?”, he added after a painful minute of silence in where you chose the tea and mug. You turned around and realized he was still staring.

“What?”.

“You shouldn’t be the one making the tea, you know”.

“Yes, I know”, you answered calmly, trying to not show the tremble in your voice. Just the presence of that God in the same room made you feel… tiny. Weak. Maybe in a good way. No, definitely in a bad way; he shouldn’t be making you feel anything, for that matter. “And we shouldn’t be in the same room all alone”.

“Are you kicking me out?”.

“Just stating a fact”.

“Hm”.

“And offering you some illegal tea”.

He smiled. You were way too good for Thor, he thought. You would be bored if you married him. You had the trouble spark in your eyes and Loki was the perfect companion for that. It was so evident you were made for each other; then why would his parents think you would be better off with Thor? He was still clueless at how they could’ve made such an imprudent and blind decision.

“I’d love to, princess”.

You chuckled. “Princess? Really?”.

“Not good?”.

“No”. He lowered his gaze and put a strand of hair behind an ear. “Which kind would you like?”.

He stepped closer to you; so much closer that you could feel his slow breathing grazing your forehead. You tried your best to not rise your head and sink in his sharp features. He grabbed with two fingers a tea bag from the box you were holding. Your hands were trembling slightly. He then got a little bit closer (even though you didn’t think that was possible), slowly stretched his arm and picked up a mug that was conveniently behind you. As soon as he stepped away, you realized you held your breath the whole time.

“Are you alright? You look nervous”, he mocked, which only made you even more embarrassed.

“I suggest you stay in your place, prince Loki”, you said, trying to get back to reality. It was not okay. You could not flirt in any way or form with your future husband’s brother. Wrong. Wrong! All flavours of wrong.

“Suggestion denied”, he said with the same troublesome smirk from before, that still hadn’t wiped off his face. “And you can call me Loki”.

“I will not”, you said, filling his mug with the boiling water. “And you’ll call me by my full name, as you should”.

“You know, in our actual position… you should be the one recieving my orders”, he said, lowering his already deep voice. You swallowed, but tried to keep a determined and confident look on your face.

“Which are...?”. You knew you’d regret even asking, but he was right. He still was your prince, and you still were a mere warrior. He raised an eyebrow.

“Call me Loki”.

“Or?”.

“Well…”, he whispered raspily. You felt he was about to step closer to you again, but the voice of one of his tutors interrupted his flirting.

“What on the Realm are you two doing in here without an escort?”.

“Terribly sorry”, you muttered while you rapidly left the kitchen. Loki stood there, observing you leave and sighed. His tutor looked at him with disapproval and he simply shrugged his shoulders and smiled innocently.

But he had already decided, you were going to be his.

You couldn’t help but to wander the palace as much as you could. The place was enormous and nothing compared to anything you’ve seen before. You only knew the tiny houses you grew up in Asgard, and the occasional visit to other Realm’s palace in the middle of a battle.

But you had to be careful. Nobody would approve you nosing everywhere, much less at those hours of the night. But, well, it was the perfect time, because the palace would not only be empty, but also illuminated by only the soft glimmering of the candlelights. It was gorgeous.

You roamed around through the hallways, until the sharp sound of a fall stopped you dead on your tracks. The sound was followed by an “ugh, fuck” from a particularly familiar voice, and your curiosity grew bigger. What was prince Loki doing at those hours in… the library, was it? You thought, as you tried to read the sign in the doorframe. All signs had to be in old Norse, of course. And you could barely speak it, let alone read it in the dark.

Peeping from the entrance, you got to see what the prince was doing. With a big and dusty book on one hand and a frown in his face, he was trying to make a pile of books from the floor levitate.

He shut his eyes close and once again, pointed at the books with the palm of his hand. A green light surrounded the objects and two of the three books got suspended in the air. With effort, prince Loki pushed harder upwards to make the third book levitate too, but soon got tired and the rest of the pile fell to the wooden floor again, making the same sound that brought you there in the first place.

He then left the open book he was holding over one of the tables and tried again, this time with both of his hands. In around five minutes he got to make the three books fly above his head, as if they were dancing. His eyes glittered and an ear-to-ear smile lit his face. You’ve never seen him smile so innocently, so childishly before.

How adorable, you thought, as you leaned on the doorframe. But the smile on his face got interrupted when you sloped wrongly over the door and fell down with a sound that felt more like a scream than a subtle gasp.

Loki ran to see where that sound came from, and found your flustered face on his feet, trying your best to not look too embarrassed by the fact that you were hovering, or even spying on him.

“May I help you with something, princess?”, he held your hand to help you up, but didn’t let it out when you were already on your feet.

“Thank you. And, please, don’t call me princess”, you said, freeing yourself of his hand.

“‘Please, don’t call me princess’? Darling, you’re begging for the wrong things in here”. You got chills from the seductive tone of his voice, and tried to ignore it through a laugh. There was nothing else to do but to hope he wouldn’t notice how blushed you’d gotten.

“It’s not appropriate that you keep flirting with me, Mischief”.

“I like that nickname”.

“Did you even listen to me?”.

“Yes, I know. You don’t want me to flirt with you because you’re afraid of being inappropriate. But, between us, which one was the one stalking the other one in the middle of the night?”.

“I wasn’t stalking. I was simply observing and hoping you wouldn’t notice”.

“That’s the dictionary definition of stalking, my dear”.

You sighed. There was no point in arguing with him. He would know if you lied; and that’s probably why he kept flirting. Because he knew you didn’t mean it when you corrected him. You liked it. You truly enjoyed it.

“What are you doing?”, you asked after a while, pointing at the floating books that were now almost touching the roof.

“I really need to focus for this one in particular. If I need silence and emptiness, this place and time are usually a good idea. Unless, of course, there’s a little spy falling off the doorframe”.

“Sorry about that”, you chuckled, and he smirked.

“It’s fine, I basically finished it anyways”.

“Looks like you mastered it, though”, you complimented. Loki looked at you with a little smile.

“Well, I…”. He was about to answer you, but you reached out for a strand of hair on his face and moved it behind his ear. The books fell off abruptly, and Loki did his best to cover you from their impact, covering your whole body with an embrace. He didn’t let go of the hug, but looked at your face with shame. “I’m truly sorry. I got.. surprised, I guess”.

“Don’t worry. And sorry, didn’t mean to make you nervous”.

“Nervous?”.

“Or surprised, whatever”.

“You’re right, though”. He smiled gently once more and lowered his gaze. “You make me feel things, little warrior”.

“Prince Loki, you really shouldn’t…”.

“I can say it, you don’t need to answer it”. You sighed and gave him a knowing look. “If it makes you feel uncomfortable, I’ll stop. If not, let me flirt with you. I don’t need you to flirt back”. You laughed at his proposition and he stared, waiting for a confirmation.

“Fine. But don’t call me princess. You make it sound diminishing”.

“As you wish, my Queen”.

“Oh my God”.

“Precisely”.

You both giggled and tried to keep it down just in case somebody else was awake. The moonlight making its way through the gigantic windows of the library were the only lightning, and the sharp features of the God became even more fascinating by the contrast. His eyes looked deeper. Or maybe it was the way he looked at you with them. You felt naked at his eye, and maybe not in a bad sense.

"What are you thinking about?", he asked after a while. You were both in silence, contemplating each other. Oddly, it wasn't uncomfortable. With Thor, on the other hand, you only felt uncomfortability; even if it wasn't an awkward situation, you knew you were not welcomed by him. Maybe not even his friendship.

"I'm… I think I should get going".

"Why?" he asked, and immediately grabbed your hand. "Stay".

"It's late. Thor might awake and not find me there".

"So?".

"Let's not cause a scandal, Mischief. I have to do what I have to do".

"Maybe you don't have to", he insisted, and you rolled your eyes. With a sigh, he let go off your hand. "I understand. I know you'll be better off like this".

"Yes, I will", you said, faking confidence. Maybe it was your sleep deprived brain that couldn't see right, maybe it was the sudden urge to do what you wanted instead of what you needed; either way, you lingered your way out.

He waited for you to go, but you stayed a little longer, delaying the sneaking back to bed with the man you didn't want to be with. You just needed one reason, only one reason to stay.

"Good night, darling", he said after a while. He knew better than to ruin your future and reputation for his selfish desires. He didn’t want to let you go, he wanted you to be his and only his. But he knew better than to make you a part of his brotherly quarrels. He appreciated you enough to keep you out of it.

"Good night, Loki".

He smiled as you walked away. As much as he shouldn’t have, he got you to call him by just his name.

Not even two weeks passed by and everyone around him already suspected the obvious; the mischievous and rebellious brother was trying to make Thor’s partner fall in love with him. What not everyone knew was that it was completely working.

The stolen glances from up the shoulders in every meeting, every dinner, every event. The long walks around the Gardens, talking about literature, magic and general life. The trainings in one-to-one combat with him that lasted a bit longer than with the rest of the trainers. And you couldn’t help but smile at everything he said or did; it was so much harder than one could think, to hide such thing from Queen Frigga; she saw it all and knew better than everyone in romance. She also knew better than anyone both of her sons, and it was evident how they both felt about you. Because Thor’s stone cold indifference wasn’t one to go unnoticed as well.

In dinner, Loki was again sitting by Thor’s side, and couldn’t help but to chatter about the subject that bothered him so much.

“They’s late, brother; you’ll marry a terribly mannered warrior”, he mocked. Thor rolled his eyes and contraatacked.

“At least I’m marrying them”.

“You say it as if I wanted to”.

“Please”, Thor scoffed.

“Marriage is a boundary. I merely desire them”.

“You’re telling me you wouldn’t want to hold their hand from the Throne, or to put a crown on their head”, mocked Thor. Loki sushed him, because he was completely right. Loki would’ve loved to gently caress your hair and kiss your pink cheeks, to fidget with your ring as he held you in the mornings and nights. Gods, he was lost.

“I do not, anyways. But if you plan on borrowing me wedding night and spare you the annoyance you’d feel by bedding them… I agree”.

“Will you keep on making sexual jokes to avoid real feelings all your life or do you grow up after the 1100 year?”.

You opened the door and got in with your head low and breathing unsteady, embarrassed and apologizing. The princes stopped the chattering and followed you with their eyes. Loki didn’t even hide his expressions of pure and raw desire. Your hair was a disaster, and you were still in your ripped warrior clothes, covered in mud, blood and scratches. The dagger strapped to your thigh was, too, covered in blood.

“Hot”, said Loki, unintentionally louder than he should have. Dear, he loved when you looked like a threatening mess.

“What?”, you asked in a breath, still agitated.

“Eh, hold. Hold the door, I meant”, he corrected himself (everyone was looking, even the guests, and he knew better than to be that inappropriate on certain occasions). But you knew exactly what he said and smirked slightly, just enough for him to notice.

“You were saying… you didn’t want to?”, whispered Thor just before Loki got up and walked through the tables. He didn’t even know what he wanted to do, but if he said ‘hold the door’ he had to keep it verosimil, didn’t he?

As he walked past you, slowing down, he whispered “library, tonight”. And then left the dining room, leaving an even more blushed you to imagine what could he possibly want from you. And your imagination was not precisely innocent.

You took a deep breath and held it for a minute before getting inside. After wandering around the bookshelves, you noticed the room was still empty. Maybe too early? It was barely midnight. Everyone was already asleep and the Palace was, as every night, dead silent.

You sat on the couch and caressed the texture with the tip of your fingers. Was he coming? Did he say it just to make you blush in lunch? Perhaps he was messing with you. He was the God of Lies and Mischief after all, wasn’t he?

After ten minutes you stood up and decided to look for something to read. You wouldn’t be able to sleep anyways, so might as well make the most of the night; with or without prince Loki.

You walked slowly, reading carefully every title. If something had your attention, you’d read it on that beautiful velvet couch, in front of the fireplace. Even grab a mug of coffee, to keep you up until you finish your readings. The plan sounded marvelous, but you couldn’t help but to feel disappointed you wouldn’t spend the night with him.

You weren’t expecting to actually get physical, of course. He was not your fiancé and would never be. He was barely a lover. Not even that. He was the man you loved and desired, yes. But merely platonic. It wouldn’t go any further. It couldn’t go any further.

But you were expecting to have that precious alone time he gifted you in the nights, where everything was off and both of you were the only flame alive in the whole Kingdom. The glances he threw at you, the smiles he drew to let you know you were appreciated; you were wanted, you were loved by him.

As you reached for one of the books, a bigger hand wrapped around yours and the book, making you gasp.

“Hello”, he whispered in your ear, earning a shiver from you. Just that, he didn’t need to do any more than that to set on all your alarms and get your face redder and hotter than ever.

You turned around and smiled. He didn’t move away; in fact, he raised both his arms to your sides and locked you between him and the bookshelf.

“Seems like you won’t let me go away, won’t you?”.

“I don’t think you would even if I gave you the opportunity”.

“And how are you so sure about that?”.

“You came here, as I asked you to”.

“So?”.

“Are you actually going to play dumb?”.

You both laughed slightly, still not wanting to make a single noise. He got a few inches closer, and you did too. You raised a hand and fondled his hair. Moved your hand all the way from up his ear to down his neck. He slowly slipped down one hand to your waist and the other one to your collarbone, making the same deep eye contact he made with such lust; that desire he always looked at you, but amplified to a hundred and ten percent.

Now both of your hands were cupping his face. He was warm. And smiley. And… God, gorgeous. Godly gorgeous, as he always was. You traced with your fingers his cheekbones, his jaw, his neck. You sighed.

“May I kiss you?” He whispered, getting even closer. His breathing was slow and you could feel it on your face. His question was barely audible, yet so strongly loud to you.

May he kiss you? May you kiss him? You weren’t supposed to be even that close with him. You weren’t allowed. You shouldn’t look at him the way you did. Or touch him the way you wanted to. But there he was, asking to kiss you. And you had no other words in your vocabulary else than;

“Please”.

[doudecim]

I want to say that 99% of the fics here are on FF.net for I have only recently discovered the wonders of AO3, and I still didn’t dig deep in there to find all the HitsuKarin goodies.

That being said, I will put the list under the cut because this will be one very long post. So, I hope you all enjoy it!

one-shots

A Constant Fascination, by back-in-a-bit. — 'Colour me blood red passionately.' Hitsugaya makes it his personal mission to get Karin to blush. Pity it's easier said than done. In fact, it might just take him a lifetime. [rated T]

A Fall in the Fall, by MeteorLeopard. — This was ridiculous! There she was, just looking at the fish, and the next thing she knows, she's up in a tree being held against her will! And it's all his fault! [rated T]

a little suffering is good for the soul, by the milliner’s rook. —  Future fic. If there are stupider ways to get courted, Karin can't think of them. [rated K+]

A Woman Scorned, by Glowing Blue. — The twisted fairy tale of Karin finding her own invite to the ball, though she's hardly looking for a Prince Charming. [rated T]

but leave the soul alone, by the milliner’s rook. — AU. Death, it's catching. Or: the one where Toushirou and Karin share night shifts at the hospital. And coffee. Terrible, terrible coffee. [rated K+]

Collection, by ichilover3. — A drabble/oneshot dump. Shenanigans, silliness, and sexy-times abound. Also alliteration, apparently. [rated M]

crawl into your shadow, by the milliner’s rook. — AU. There's a witch in this sleepy little village now that goes by the name of Karin, but nothing has changed since she's arrived. Not really. [rated T]

Delirous, by carved in the sand. — Matsumoto finds her captain to be a lovestruck teenage boy. [rated T]

duckling theory, by the milliner’s rook. — The first thing Karin notices is watermelon. Looking back, maybe it should have been startling green eyes. [rated K]

For You, by Glowing Blue. — Death had never been the paradise everyone wished it to be. But then they found each other. [rated T, two-shot.]

frostbitten, by the milliner’s rook. — Set during the time skip. The winter they meet is unkind with snow. [rated K+]

Frozen Moments, by CrazyAce'n'PokerFace. — 101 drabbles/one-shots that give a glimpse into Toushirou and Karin's life together. A love story told in snapshots. [rated K+]

funny valentine, by SebonzaMitsuki27. — I'll be yours if you'll be mine. [rated K+]

humour me, by SebonzaMitsuki27. — True love's kiss. That ought to do it. [rated K+]

i’m high on believing, by the milliner's rook. — For the record, he prefers his plain black shoes to her fancy red sneakers. [rated K+]

ice breaker, by SebonzaMitsuki27. — AU. There are better ways to get found out than making out in a closet and tumbling onto the ground. [rated T]

if my heart was a compass you’d be north, by SebonzaMitsuki27. — Future fic. Give me a reason to believe. [rated K+]

In Every Season, by Adobo-chan. — A collection of HitsuKarin oneshots. [rated T]

In the Dark, by ichilover3. — It really wasn't anyone else's business. She should be allowed to fornicate with midgets if she wanted to. [rated T]

innocent guilt, by SebonzaMitsuki27. —  AU. Oh, I know! You're a tramp with wings! [rated K+]

Juxtaposition, by Lady Azar de Tameran. — Something within Hitsugaya Toushirou thinks that he may have met his match. [rated T]

keep me in your pocket, by SebonzaMitsuki27. — Set during the timeskip. Don't stay out of touch, okay? [rated K+]

Kuchiki Rukia, the Glorified Courier, by MeteorLeopard. — Delivering super-top-secret messages between dimensions is tough work; believe me, I know. If it weren't such a rewarding experience I'd downright refuse to play the messenger. Honestly. [rated K+]

liliputians, by SebonzaMitsuki27. — Future fic. It's alright, kid. I'm short too. [rated K+]

Lovely Complex, by Unknown lazy ass. — She slyly grinned, “Wow, you really are head over heels for me, aren’t you Toushirou?” [rated K+]

Momo knows Best, by MeteorLeopard. — Sometimes having a meddling older sister... sucks. [rated T]

of halos and wings, by SebonzaMitsuki27. — Future fic. He had betrayed Hinamori with nothing but his heart. [rated T]

Old Haunts, by the milliner's rook. — Future fic. You were just gone, Toushirou, what was I to think? I thought—I thought you'd come back, and you did, twenty years too late. [rated T]

Peeping Tom, by Glowing Blue. — The love story of Hitsugaya and Karin, as seen from open windows and heard through thin walls. "Hisagi's eyes had a tendency to stray." AU. [rated T]

phantasmagoria, by SebonzaMitsuki27. — Flickering through black and white, they find their perfect shade of grey. [rated K+, two-shot.]

put down your sword and crown, by the milliner's rook. — AU. When her old man dies to save Ichi-nii's life, everything changes. Days after the funeral, the word Quincy is spoken for the first time, and at five years old, Karin becomes defined by it. [rated K+]

Red, The Colour of Despair, by the milliner's rook. — It was strange how much difference one colour could make. [rated K+]

Revenants, by carved in the sand. — Hitsugaya ponders the ghosts that haunt the girl he still loves. [rated T]

Sports and Sex are Universal (but never the twain should meet), by back-in-a-bit. — Toushirou gives Karin a flat look. "I'm not high-fiving you over sex," he says. [rated M]

Subtle, by nublados. — Toshiro comments on the subtlety that is Karin Kurosaki. [rated K+]

The Art of Asking, by Felix02. — He should have known that her father wouldn't be able to keep a secret, especially from one of his daughters. [rated T]

The Art Of Getting By, by the milliner's rook. — AU. There's some difficulty between juggling flirting, killing Hollows and getting to class on time with the hottest guy in high school, but Karin's certain she'll get the hang of it eventually. [rated T]

The Staircase not Taken, by MeteorLeopard. — Perhaps it was a good thing that the stairs were destroyed, her brother acting demented and a violent fight going on without her just upstairs. After all, the visitor who happened to drop by was worth the wait. [rated T]

the winter sun smiled for things to come in spring, by the milliner's rook. — What is it with you! You're either too young or too old! What the hell! [rated T, two-shots.]

Urahara's Lawn Mowing Service, by MeteorLeopard. — Incorrect phone numbers are a messy business. Even messier though is the business that happens after said incorrect phone call. "Fine, but I bet your girlfriend didn't call back because your lawn needs to be mowed." [rated T]

velocity, by SebonzaMitsuki27. — Aim for the goal, and don't look back, no matter what. [rated T]

where angels fear to tread, by SebonzaMitsuki27. — They belong in hell. [rated K]

You Taste Like Birthday, You Look Like New Year, by the milliner's rook. — Future fic. She likes his hands, Toushirou notices. Loves them, in fact. [rated M]

complete

lune, by SebonzaMitsuki27. — AU. Me and you and moonlight shivers. [[rated T] other main pairings are ByakuyaHisana, ShinjiHiyori and UlquiorraNel, so beware that HitsuKarin is not the only focus in this one.]

Waterlogged, Wind-chapped, and Sun-bleached. — They grow up together, and the slow progression of their relationship shapes their world. AU. [rated T]

Wendybird Chronicles, by the milliner's rook. — She wonders if they ever had a chance. If they might have missed it, somehow. [rated K+]

on going

Wrong Number, by Lunatasha. — Unknown (10:22): So! I just read all of the conversations I had last night while I was out drunk and thoroughly embarrassing myself and please let me apologise for bothering you (especially as I think you were working if you were in your office?) last night. I mean in hindsight I probably should have stopped messaging you as soon as it was clear you weren't who I was looking for, but drunk me apparently hates sober me so yeah, I'm sorry. That being said thank you again for helping me out even though I must have been bothering you, I appreciate it. [rated T]

Only in Dreams, by TullyBlue. — Brother, she had called him, but he spent the entire meal acting like she was a ghost. Eating with the twins, he can’t even imagine being that cold to his sisters. Yuzu’s laughter brightens his day and that admiring glint in Karin’s eye, that he only catches every once in a while, means the world to him. The so-called brother in his dreams makes Ichigo’s skin crawl. Everything else, though, he wants to see more of, to know more about, to understand. Old, wood floors, a spacious room, flowing black robes, and those swords... [[rated T] other main pairings are IchigoRukia, UryuuChad, GanjuHanatarou, so beware that HitsuKarin is not the only focus in this one.]

abandoned or on permanent hiatus, probably won’t ever post a new chapter again

Blizzard Blues, by the milliner's rook. — Future fic. I heard your brother had an eight pack, Captain Hitsugaya! That he was shredded! [rated T]

Catalyst, by Etiena. — With captain-level shinigami in her family, it is no surprise that Kurosaki Karin has potential. But it isn't family which triggers her change. Instead, a chance encounter with a young shinigami captain leads to startling revelations. [rated K+]

Go Against the Grain, by Adobo-chan. — Old law deems that only a son may become the Kurosaki House's next leader. Born from this ancient tradition, a tragic betrayal and her mother's sacrifice, Karin is brought up as Kurosaki Kazuto, the 29th head of the family. [rated T]

oh sinful rose, by the milliner's rook. — AU. Five years after the monarchy is overthrown, a noble finds a forgotten princess in chains. DISCONTINUED. [rated T]

Quandary, by Glowing Blue. — Funnily enough, meeting such a spirited single mother was actually part of his job description. AU. [rated T] (I love this one so much!)

Roommate For Sale, by SavageTrickster. — AU. There are many things in life that she didn't know, but the one thing Kurosaki Karin was certain of is that her overprotective brother is going to blow his top when he meets her new roommate.

[themidnightfarmer]

Good weekend boss? || Metzli & Jared

Location: The gallery

Tagging: @deathisanartmetzli​

Description: Getting to know who you work with. 😊

Triggers: none i think?

Jared was bustling as fast as he could into work. Carrying a cup of coffee and a bag of some things he could leave in the lunch room for people who’d missed breakfast. Though admittedly no one had taken him up on his offerings yet. Why no one wanted his mushroom and mayo bagels or spam and pickle wraps he would never know, maybe today would be the day. When he had some spare cash he’d buy something instead of making it himself. But that was a problem for another time. It took him around ten minutes into his shift before he found himself in the back looking for a piece and found his boss amongst the art. 

“Morning.” he greeted cheerfully a smile adorning his face for all of two seconds before it fell. “Good weekend boss?” The nymph inquired with uncertainty. 

Without breaking concentration on the work they were focused on, Metzli gave Jared a single wave before greeting verbally. “Morning, Mr. Gordon. Yes, I had a rager of a weekend. Multiple BDSM orgies.” A playful lie in hopes that they wouldn’t get any more questions. The weight on their chest was heavy enough from the anxiety of being in the building that Eloy knew about. Several times the night prior, they nearly called all of their employees to lay them off, close the gallery and stay inside. But that would be giving in. 

“And what the hell did you bring into this building? Your food smells awful and I could smell it from here.” Metzli finally looked up and let their eyes meet with Jared’s. The bruising had faded significantly, but it wasn’t enough to go unnoticed. “Are you looking for a specific piece or are you in need of help? I can give you more in depth training after your lunch break.”

The response was certainly not what he’d been expecting whatsoever. Enough to make this grown man blush. He opened and closed his mouth a few times letting out a soft sort of embarrassed laugh. “Really? Huh, wow okay cool. Pretty good weekend then I guess…” He trailed off. Although his eyes lingered on the marks and wondered if it was usual to be so injured...and deciding quickly that it wasn’t his business and he was DEFINITELY not going to be asking.

Jared bumbled over with his clipboard of paperwork and smiled. “I brought breakfast just in case anyone skipped it. Strong smell, great taste. It’s the good stuff!” He insisted. “Did you miss breakfast? I’ve been trying to coax some of the others, but maybe they’re too shy just yet because I’m so new…” His brain became alight with worry however as their eyes met. Completely missing the offer of more training or help with his current task he broke his own rules by asking further. “Are you uh...sure it was a fun weekend? I don’t want to like….pry too much but… you’re not looking so good…”

“The greatest.” Metzli droned, and went back to using their magnifying glass on the painting. They had just been sold a genuine Liu Wei, based on their current analysis. But their task didn’t last very long since Jared decided the conversation was still going. A fuse that was normally so long and rarely met its end, was much shorter now. Choking back a growl, they locked onto the food topic and stuck with it for as long as they could. “I don’t eat human food, Mr. Gordon. I can’t even taste it. And based on the smell of the combinations, I’m sure others would love to be blessed with—” The end of the sentence never came, they were too caught up with the genuine concern in not only Jared’s face, but his tone as well. 

Squeezing the magnifying glass, they placed it down next to the painting and circled around the table. Metzli looked like they were about to yell, go off on Jared, but they didn’t. Face softened and they sighed. There wasn’t enough energy to be angry or irritated. The vampire was simply just too tired. “No, it was not a good weekend. It was not a good week. But I’m alive. That’s all I could really hope for.”

His breakfast offering was far from his mind as Metzli rounded the table. Jared stayed where he stood, but raised the clipboard between them defensively as if that were to stop the other from throwing a punch for being so nosey. Belatedly recognising a punch was unlikely but a thorough dressing down was much more likely to be on the cards. 

“Alive is good.” The nymph commented dumbly. He stood unsure what to do for only a second before lowering the clipboard and reaching out tentatively to pat the vampire on the shoulder very gently. “Is there something I can do? I know it’s likely not something you wanna talk about or anything like that. But if something is ongoing I can maybe help. Or if it’s over and you just want to get it outta your system I can set something up.” Giving Jared this job was an incredible favour in the nymphs eyes and he’d try to return that as best as he could.

The sudden touch made Metzli lash out, grabbing Jared’s arm brashly and pulling it off. The hold threatened to be harmful, but their contracted pupils dilated, marking their mind’s return. “S-sorry. Please, don’t touch me.” Touch wasn’t something they let happen easily. Not the kind that was gentle or tender. There was too much room for deception, too much vulnerability. There were one too many times where their mother tricked them into a hug just so she could get them to come out for a punishment. Eloy did the same. “Not sure anyone can help. But that’s okay.” Posture sank and shoulders dropped despairingly. They couldn’t even help themselves, so how could anyone else do it?

“Why would you want to help anyway? We’ve met each other once.”

Jared flinched at the sudden and rather rough removal of his hand from their shoulder. Shaking his head and withdrawing a few steps to give Metzli more space around themselves. “Ah no it’s fine, sorry I forget not everyone needs the same sorts of things when things are tough.” He clutches the clipboard firmly with both hands in order to show that he won’t be reaching out again. Shooting an apologetic smile their way. “Well not sure isn’t the same as ‘can’t’ right? There’s always a chance?” Moving around the table to the other side he pushes the chair out from underneath on the other side and nods at it for his boss to take. Placing himself firmly on the other side of the table a nice safe distance from accidentally touching them again.

“Why shouldn’t I offer help if I can give it? You gave me a job. You carried me outta the way of the cops back on the street. Would be pretty shitty of me not to care at least a little about you.”

Metzli took the seat warily. It still made no sense that he wanted to help, and they were growing suspicious. Even given what they had done for him, they saw those things as favors for themself. “I did those things for me. Who’s to say you wouldn’t have ratted me out if I hadn’t moved you? And I needed a new-hire immediately. I know a lot about being an asshole considering I don’t even have a soul. Most of the shit I do is self-serving.” They shrugged and leaned back into their seat, crossing their arms. 

“You’re not bound to do anything, are you? Pretty sure the only thing you actually owe me is a meal.” Tone was doubtful and had no ounce of trust, especially for someone they did not know. “If you really wanna know, my master—my sire is after me. So I’ve been a little on edge.” They admitted a little crestfallen.

“Just because it benefitted you doesn’t mean it didn’t also really help me out?” Jared said with a dumbfounded expression. “I mean sure maybe your intention wasn’t to do good by me, but it ended up really helping me out...I uh….don’t really know what to do with the knowledge that you don’t have a soul though I mean...what does that even really mean?” The whole thought of not having a soul was lost on him completely. Weren’t they sort of fundamental? But then again if Metzli didn’t have one then he wasn’t sure what that even meant anymore, they seemed to be doing alright to him after all.

“No, not bound to anything more than another meal.” Unfortunately for the both of them, Metzlis explanation didn’t actually clear very much up for the nymph. “Your boss messed you up like that? That’s… damn that’s-...” He didn’t have words to convey what his expression likely would. A healthy mixture of confusion and a hint of disgust. 

An empty chuckle rang out and Metzli ran a hand through their hair. There was just so much going on. “You don’t have to do anything with that information. It just means I’m more of an asshole than most.” Their eyes rolled and frustration began to brew. Not at Jared, but at everything in general. Nothing was ever simple, but dammit why couldn’t it be at least simpler?

“Not my ‘boss’ but his little minions. I used to be one of them and he’s pretty angry that I’m not anymore. He doesn’t like to lose.” Metzli scoffed at their loose lips and bit the inside of their cheek to stop from revealing any more information. “Don’t know how you could help, but that’s fine. I’ll figure it out. Like I said, at least I’m alive.”

“Well...I guess some people are assholes even with a soul so it’s a good...excuse?” It was a valiant attempt to put a positive spin on things but he knew that was likely not something Metzli wanted. It was all he could think to do. Jared quickly shook his head and waved a hand for the vampire to ignore that comment, something he’d learnt early on in life...he’d been known by folk in town to say dumb things.

“So he’s a vampire like you then?” He nodded his head as he slowly connected the dots. Sire must be a vampire thing, he concluded. “So he’s trying to get you back.” Jared fiddled with the papers on his clipboard for a moment. “Well I mean, if you really don’t want me to try to help that’s okay. But I do mean it when I say I want to. Even if it’s just patching up after something like-” he gestured to his own face in places where the bruising was still apparent on their skin “- all that happens.” He didn’t quite know the extent of what was going on, but the grim expression was definitely giving him a hint. “Glad you’re alive boss.” he tacked on the end with the hint of a hopeful smile.

Metzli struggled to understand why Jared would be so concerned and willing to help. It was so easy to forget how kind people could actually be without needing anything in return. They envied that about people with souls. They were a monster, a selfish one. And it made them yearn for their soul a little more. Being soulless wasn’t an excuse. Bex had taught them that. But they were too tired to even attempt to explain. 

“Yeah, vampire like me. Only way more powerful and has actual control over me. But it’s whatever. You don’t have to be concerned about it.” Metzli rose from their seat and made their way back to the painting so they could get back to work. “Of course you’re glad, Mr. Gordon. I write your paychecks.” There was a small smirk playing at their lips, and then it curved fully. “Which reminds me, here.” Pulling a check from their pocket, they handed it over to Jared. “Everyone else is on direct deposit, but here’s your pay from last week.” The check was for a thousand dollars. “Not all of them will be like that. But you held down the fort while I was gone on your first week, so consider it a bonus.”

The nymph opened his mouth to reiterate the sentiment that they would be concerned whether they were directly involved or not but decided against arguing any further. His new boss didn’t want the attention so he’d keep it to himself. Unfortunate for the both of them that Jared had a hard time not worrying over people he knew. Especially those who found themselves in dangerous situations on the regular… Which was a description that matched far too many people Jared knew.

He mumbled quietly about how he’d been friends with all his bosses in the past before he’d worked for himself, to be cut off when handed the check. He blinked rapidly at the amount and looked up at Metzli completely astounded. Mouth opening and closing like a crazy golf obstacle Jared was speechless for a moment. “Surely that’s too much! It’s not like I did anything crazy.”

“Just take it and don’t throw a fuss. I’ll bite you if you do.” Metzli smiled at Jared and winked. They could tell he’d be a good addition to the staff, and maybe he’d be a good friend too. Making friends didn’t come very easily, though. Having friends was dangerous. The more people you had around you, the more ways you could be hurt, the more you had to lose. Part of them didn’t really care and they could see themselves not caring if Jared was killed. Soul or no soul, though, they knew that way of thinking was inherently wrong. That way of thinking was way too similar to the man they detested so much. There was no way they were going to let themselves actively be the monster Eloy molded them to be. It wouldn’t undo everything they had done up to date, and it probably wouldn’t change that they were a monster, but they could at least try. Bex told them if they could at least try, it was enough.

“Now, Mr. Gordon, care to update me on our most recent purchases and submissions? Or do you just want to carry that clipboard for no reason all day?” Metzli raised a brow as they teased him. Personality returned to the surface, and for a bit they didn’t have to be scared of their gallery, that someone could be watching them and relaying every bit of information to Eloy. That didn’t matter, not now. Not when they had worked incredibly hard to make a name for themselves.

Jared scrunched up his nose in response, only barely avoiding sticking his tongue out at his boss for the biting comment. But a quick laugh did follow as he stood up from his own seat, it seemed the brief discussion of what had been going on this last week for Metzli was finished with and it was to be back to work. Although this did mark a moment the nymph would be likely citing further down the road as perhaps the true beginning of a friendship. Sharing things like Metzli had was laying a sort of trust in Jared that he hoped he could keep.

“The clipboard is all for show.” He quipped in return before rounding the table to push the paperwork towards the other. “Or well, I was looking for this piece to mark down the code-” The nymph rambled away, happy enough to immerse himself back into work. Easily distracted.

[dragonleesupporter]

Incomplete Without You (Part 1)

Hey guys! Sorry I’ve been dead for so long. I wanted to make this for a loong time but lost motivation multiple times and nearly lost the whole damn file.

WARNING: Triggers for disablement, depression, talk of a suicide attempt, and panic attacks.

He grumbled as he was pushed along the sidewalk. He had every reason to complain, every reason to be upset, especially when a jogger moved past them. He was always told to be thankful to still be alive with his strange condition. Well, at least he could move his head and face muscles.

            “C’mon man, you said a view of the lake would make you feel better!” Remy prodded his cheek. “Where’s that smile?”

            “Dead. Long dead. Like the rest of my soul.” Virgil growled.

            “Ugh. This job’s sooo boring!” The sunglass-wearing punk complained.

            “Then forfeit your salary so the rest of me can die in peace.”

            Virgil was paralyzed from the shoulders, down. He couldn’t feel his body and needed constant assistance from those willing to put up with his acidic, pessimist attitude to help him do… pretty much everything. He couldn’t even hold his goddamn diploma when he graduated high school. Remy had to hold it for him. He had to give the coffee lover credit where credit was due. He was the one who had lasted the longest as his caretaker. Taking him on “walks” as to not make him feel helplessly alone. Thankfully, his parents did everything else, like dress him and clean him and lay him down to sleep.

            Even though he didn’t feel as alone with Remy keeping up gossipy conversations, he did feel piercing envy for anyone he saw around him. Laughing with their friends, running, swimming, riding bicycles, dancing… Not to mention the people that made fun of him, and yet he was supposed to be more positive that he wasn’t dead? Death would merciful to someone in Virgil’s position. He couldn’t even kill himself. Not to say he didn’t try. The closest he had gotten was when he had annoyed someone enough to shove him into the lake, who was unaware of his condition, while Remy was in the bathroom. Little did he know that the sassy teen was a fast pisser and was able to rescue him.

 Why couldn’t he just be fucking normal? Even for a day?

 “Oh hey, that man child texted you again.” Remy’s naturally condescending voice interrupted his thoughts. But he couldn’t help but smile just a little. “Puppylover99? What did he say?”

 “Work is super fun today! Got to hug a lot of people! Every time I hugged someone, I thought of you, kiddo!” Remy put on a high-pitched feminine-like voice, which made Virgil laugh, no matter how much he hated it.

            “You ass!” He would’ve hit him playfully if he could.

            “Is that what you want me to say?” Remy gave a cocky smirk, opening up messages.

            “No no no!” He shook his head madly, making his caretaker laugh even harder than Virgil did.

            “So… what- oh! He sent another.” Virgil’s smile widened as a small blush made its way onto his face, even though he was trying his best to fight it. “Anyway, I was wondering when I’d be able to hug you in person! I know we both live in Purble County.”

            Virgil’s smile was gone instantly. He had never physically met with any of his online friends before… What would he think? That he… wouldn’t be able to hug him back? Tears filled his eyes, and he couldn’t even wipe them away.

            Remy quickly pulled onto an alleyway so no one would see him like this. The caretaker quickly wiped his face and massaged the base of his neck to calm him. “I’m sorry, I should’ve read it and warned you first.”

            “It’s fine, Remy…” He sniffled.

            He was just about calmed down when he saw two people cheering just outside the alley, diving into each other’s arms.

            “It’s you!”

          “I can’t believe I found you!”

            Soulmates were a natural part of life in this world. Usually in the form of blanked out tattoos on someone’s skin that gets filled in when they meet their soulmate. There are other soulmates whose signs are a bit different, however. There was a case ten years ago where two people, one blind in the right eye, and the other blind in the left that magically gained full sight upon meeting each other. They were pronounced soulmates and are still together to this day. There were other cases where individuals didn’t have tattoos or anything of the sort, and lived their whole life out without a lover, claiming it was meant to be that way. Others have multiple soulmates. The subject is so complex, Virgil had to take multiple classes on it in high school.

 Virgil had been told by scientists and priests alike that he most likely wouldn’t have a soulmate based on the religious belief that cripples couldn’t contribute enough to a relationship, (welcome to Virgil’s church-hell) and the scientific data doctors collected from him on a weekly basis. Most of the population that was physically disabled in a 2018 case study found that they never found soulmates. Since Virgil was such a rare case, the doctors demanded data be collected from him every week to see if they couldn’t figure out what had caused it and if a cure couldn’t be found. His parents greatly profited from this, and so did he to an extent, but it just made him feel like a specimen instead of a living person.

 And seeing two people unite in the soulmate tradition only made him break down more. It wasn’t fair… it wasn’t fair…

 Remy did his best trying to distract him and take his mind away from it, wiping his tears and hugging him around his neck, where he could feel the comfort of it. After the whole meltdown finally was over, Remy suggested going to a food attraction place for lunch, and Virgil reluctantly agreed, eyes bloodshot from all his crying.

 Afternoon Benedict was a place he had never gone before, but since Remy said he knew people who worked there, he didn’t feel as anxious going. Plus, some afternoon breakfast didn’t sound half bad.

 He was wheeled in and saw a very friendly person up front with a pink apron on, saying “free hugs!” on it. He greeted them warmly, bright blue eyes, blondish-brown hair, milky white baby skin, with so many freckles dancing across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, his face looked like a sprinkled birthday cake. Virgil had to resist the smile that was tugging at his lips.

 “Hi! Where would you like to be seated?” His voice was so sugary sweet, the emo could feel his teeth rotting.

 “Anyplace with chairs that pull out. He can’t leave this one.” Remy gestured to his friend.

 Internal sigh.

 “Okay! Coming right up!” He dashed away and got a nice table ready before beckoning them over.

 Virgil got wheeled over and situated. “Now, what can I get for you two?” His honey-dripped voice asked them.

 “I guess… some scrambled eggs with toast? And apple juice with a long straw if you can manage?” Virgil kept the quiver of anxiety out of his voice well enough.

 “I’ll have my usual, bud.” Remy winked at the friendly employee.

 “Okay! It’ll be out soon!” He danced away to Virgil’s humor.

 Now came the part he dreaded about eating out. Remy took a couple bites of his food when it arrived, then started feeding Virgil. The coffee lover had quickly learned not to tease Virgil about having to be fed like an infant, as he’d either get a bite on his finger, or he’d have to help him calm from another meltdown.

 Virgil was thankful that no odd glares had been sent his way yet. Maybe Remy had set this whole thing up so he didn’t have to worry about anybody judging. No matter how tough the sunglass-wearing nerd acted, Virgil knew he had a soft side. A love for kittens, an admiration for children pop star singers, a small addiction to baby sugar sticks… he knew it was there.

 As the cooks were preparing the meal, the cheerful waiter was told to take his last 10-minute break. He skipped to the back and checked his phone excitedly. He was a little saddened that MCR10150 hadn’t responded to him yet, but he kept his hopes high and ate a quick snack while listening to music.

 Even if he couldn’t taste anything, the happy music made the food go down better, like a spoon full of sugar.

 Virgil was just about full when the bubbly waiter came over again. “Are you two ready for the bill? Or would you like to see our dessert menu?” He looked over at Virgil, who was being fed another forkful of scrambled eggs.

 “Luckyyy!” He squealed.

 The emo nearly spit his food out at that, but managed to swallow it.

 “Excuse me?”

 “I’d kill to be in your seat! Being fed without a worry in the word! You must feel like royalty! Nonono-wait!” He suddenly bowed. “My highness.”

 Virgil couldn’t help it. He bursted out laughing. Just the sheer ridiculousness and confusion-not to mention the irony- of the whole situation made him utterly crack up.

 Remy sighed with relief. He knew Patton could be overbearing at times. Yesterday, when he had told the staff and usual visitors about Virgil and how to act around him when he brought him in, Patton wasn’t there, but he was glad Virgil wasn’t offended or distraught over his behavior. It was hard to predict that kid.

 “Well… he doesn’t have much of a choice.” He explained after Virgil started to calm from his laughter. “He can’t feel any of his body other than his head and neck.”

 “Oh! I’m so sorr-“

 “No! Please don’t pity me…” Virgil growled out, interrupting the poor employee.

 Patton gave a quiet whimper, his smile becoming forced. “S-so, will that be bill or dessert?”

 Virgil felt bad now. Even though he hardly knew this living cartoon, seeing his bright cute face darken with sadness made him feel even more dead inside.

 God dammit, he thought to himself.

 “Virgil? It’s up to you.” Remy murmured. He tried to give Virgil a choice whenever he had the chance. He was indifferent to having dessert or not, but he wanted Virgil to feel like he was in control, even if it was for little things.

 “What kind of dessert menu comes out of a breakfast place?”

 To be continued…

  @cefsticklestoo @thestarswelcomemewithopenarms @my-anxiety-hasanxiety

@poptartsaysurloved @leedrop-angel @lavenders-loveforthings @ I’m sorry I forgot everyone else. O.o

[lady-of-all-cards]

Ikemen Revolution: Headcanon - When the Red Army Officers Fall Ill

Fandom: Ikemen Revolution Characters: Lancelot Kingsley, Jonah Clemence, Edgar Bright, Kyle Ash, Zero Pairings: N/A Summary: One day, an officer falls ill with a terrible cold. Will they suffer through their work? Or hide away in their blankets until the sickness passes?

Notes: Did I depress you enough with the last two posts? Well here is a little fun happy times to forget that I did that, because I’m not that morbid or depressing (most of the time, anyway). So, I hope this cheers the blog up a little! And of course, I hope you enjoy ^-^

1. The King of Hearts - Lancelot Kingsley 

Lancelot is commonly ill due to his constant use of magic leading to his overexertion.

Kyle is also in on this little tidbit, so dealing with a sick Lancelot isn’t too much for him to do, especially if it’s a common cold.

But being the kind and protective man he is, Lancelot wouldn’t tell anyone of his cold as to not worry them, because this man is a considerate teddy bear!

However, our dear Gentle Demon, Edgar Bright, is far too attentive to detail, and over their early morning meeting, picks up on Lancelot’s drousiness and general unawareness of the situation around him.

Of course, to cause chaos as he usually does, he brings it up in the conversation.

Jonah goes into panic mode, fussing over Lancelot and trying to get him to, at the very least, tell them his aliments so they can help.

Zero steps forward silently and places a crimson lolipop in front of Lancelot on the desk, stepped back sheepishly.

Lancelot takes the lolipop, but doesn’t eat it.

Yet. He’ll sneak it later when Mr.Overprotective-Mother-Jonah isn’t around

Kyle finally decides to pipe up, urging Lancelot to take even an hour’s rest before continuing with his duties.

Lancelot, of course, denies that he needs that, and tries to continue the meeting they were having before.

But it’s four against one.

Jonah would back down with a single command.

Edgar would back down, but he would continously tease him about it for days to come.

Kyle wasn’t backing down. As his personal doctor, his duty was to ensure the king was in good health at every possible moment.

Zero wouldn’t back down either. He’d much rather be ill himself that see Lancelot struggling with any sickness.

And so, Lancelot is forced to yeild. Jonah and Edgar split his paperwork, supposedly an hour’s worth of it.

Zero takes up Jonah’s and Edgar’s duties in training their units.

Kyle drags Lancelot back to his room and settles him down to sleep, giving him cold medicine and painkillers.

However, when he wakes, he realises a number of things:

1. He wasn’t woken after an hour, but was left to rest for three.

2. The entirety of his paperwork for the entire day had been done by Jonah and Edgar in the hours he slept.

Although ashamed about having to rely on his subordiantes so much, Lancelot was endeared by their kindness, and awarded them all with gifts of their favourite choosing.

2. The Queen of Hearts - Jonah Clemence

Much like Lancelot, Jonah will try to hide the fact that he’s ill, but his first mistake happens before he even wakes up…

He overslept… by an entire hour.

His sickness had hit and weakened him sometime during the night, when he opted for thinner night clothes, not expecting the chilling cold after such a comfortingly warm day.

Because of this poor judgement, Jonah’s body refused to wake up, and instead of his usual 6 AM start, he roused from his slumber at 7AM, much to his shock and distain.

It was just his luck there wasn’t a morning meeting that day due to Edgar being called away on business, and Kyle had his usual hangover, so Jonah had a moment to gather himself and actually make him presentable.

He did a good job of hiding it, but only because he stayed in his private quarters completing paperwork and eating sweet deserts that his footmen brought. There was absolutely no need whatsoever for him to leave his room.

Or so he though…

Night had passed over Cradle when he had been called to the King’s office. Edgar had gotten home slightly earlier than usual, and so the morning’s meeting had been called into place.

It seemingly wouldn’t have been a problem if the sun had been seeping through the windows, but in the glow of the Magic Crystals, Jonah’s ghostly features were illuminated fully.

At first, neither Lancelot or Edgar commented on it, opting to leave him be. It was just to late at night to be teasing…

But then… Jonah’s speech began to warp.

His sickness had progressed into a headache, and he began not thinking straight, no longer possessing the ability to rationally organise and explain his points.

However, knowing the proud Queen of Hearts would never forgive himself for ruining a meeting in such a manner, Lancelot brought the meeting to an end early, ordering his Jack and Queen straight to bed.

The next morning after a much needed sleep, Jonah woke up to painkillers and cold medicine on the bedside, with notes from his fellow officers:

Lancelot: “I noticed you were feeling off yesterday. You are given leave for as long as you need to recover. Get well soon :)”

Edgar: “Don’t push yourself, Queen. I don’t was to tease you if you’re not up to being teased.”

Kyle: “Kinda annoyed you didn’t come to me straight away. Take 10ml of medicine in the bottle three times a day and one before bed, and the painkillers once a day when you feel is necissary. And please, for the love of god, please rest.”

Zero: “Edgar told me you were sick. Don’t worry about your duties, me and him had split them while you get better, so just relax. And… here’s a lolipop. A treat from me for when you feel better!”

Although embarrassed at being caught and annoyed at some of the comments, Jonah smiled and decided that maybe it was time to take a day off to recover.

3. The Jack of Hearts - Edgar Bright

The Jack of Hearts never gets sick. EVER.

Or so it seemed, because like most things in life, Edgar Bright was an expert in the art of both faking a sickness to get a day off, and in the art of pretending not to be sick, even though he felt like literal death inside.

It was the latter that ailed him.

For the entire day, he managed to allude detection. He cleared his mind before meetings, and switched training his soliders with one of Zero’s patrols.

Everything was fine and dandy, golden, good to go!

Until that evening, his dear student had challenged him to a duel…

See, Zero found it strange that Edgar skipped on training the new recruits that day because, although he was tough and the sessions always ended in a high workload for their doctor, it was a necessary part to strengthening their resolve.

Plus… Edgar loved playfully torturing and teasing the men of the Red Army, and did it at every chance he got.

So why not this time…?

To any onlooker (and there were quite a few), it appeared to be an even match between two high-skilled soldiers, ending in Zero disarming Edgar.

But there was no teasing.

There was no indication Edgar was truly Edgar.

But during the little sparring match, Zero found it noticably easy to defeat his teacher.

Assuming he would get teased by it to fuel Edgar’s entertainment, Zero played along with it, hoping he’d snap back to his old self real quick.

But the teasing never came…

And so Zero went to the only man who he knew could solve this problem: one Master Kyle Ash.

So, Kyle and Zero innocently dined with Edgar at dinner that night. End of story.

Or so Edgar thought.

He thought he had been in the clear that night as he walked to feed the Creek Family one last meal, but the Creeks were all sat around a small handkerchief, bearing medicine for Edgar, with a small card folded ontop.

“Get well soon, papa - the Creeks.”

It was Zero’s handwriting, he’d recognise it anywhere, but the sentiment still forced a goofy smile to his face as he reached over to pet each duck in to.

Being sick wasn’t so bad, he thought…

4. The Seven of Hearts - Kyle Ash

The first thought Kyle had when he woke up that morning was that he had a hangover.

A totally reasonable conclusion to make, unless he was just so used to waking up with hangovers that it had become normal for him to assume that’s what his ailment was.

And everyone else assumed that also upon seeing him that morning at the breakfast table and during the morning meeting.

However, there was one who’d know the Hungover Doctor too long to be fooled by the effects of a hangover.

Lancelot had slipped Edgar a note during the meeting, and using the cover up of delievering a letter, let the Jack fulfill the true duty he intended.

Kyle never suspected a thing, too busy with his hangover and with his work to bother too much with his cold.

But when he had returned to his personal quarters than night to do some extra studying, he found a small collection of medicines and medicinal herbs, with a small note folded into a card.

“Do you even realise it yourself, Kyle? You’re sick, and I’m not just refering to your hangovers. Take 10ml of this medicine three times a day and one before bed, and you have leave to rest and recover. Try not to get intoxicated while you do so, it would help your recovery - Lancelot.”

He hadn’t noticed until then, but he was feeling drousy, he was sniffling every now and then, a cough stratched at his throat too.

And yet he smiled, knowing the Lance he knew was still kicking about, there to stand by the people of Cradle whenever, wherever.

5. The Ace of Heart - Zero

Much like most of the boys in the RA, he’d try to hide it and continue with his usual business

His exclusion from the crimson bloodline meant that no one really paid too close attention to him, or noticed there was anything wrong.

Thinking he got away from it all, Zero doesn’t let something as simple as a cold hold him back.

However, in the blistering Cradle heat that came around the next, he began to falter.

He developed a fever when he was out training his men, and it quickly grew worse and worse with time, as he failed to attend to it.

His men finally picked up on his daze, and after their schedual came to an end, ran off to get Kyle.

In the infirmary was both Kyle and Edgar, and upon hearing the Ace was unwell, they both rushed to his room to check the damage.

Kyle was, of course, muttering curses about it, annoyed he let it go that far.

On arriving, however, they find Zero passed out over his desk, and after a quick check-up from Kyle, Edgar carries him to the infirmary for treatment.

The next morning, when Zero wakes up in the infirmary feeling a lot better than he did yesterday, he cursed his inefficientness, and tries to leave to get back to work.

But it’s King’s orders.

Zero isn’t leaving until he’s all better! The care behind the order made Zero smile as he secretly snacked on a lolipop...

[the-elusive-libbin]

Hypnosis Mic- Hunger canons

Hunger Noises and reactions - Some of the Hypmic bois - Self indulgence at its finest

So I wanted to do some hunger stuff since I rarely do hunger based things and its actually my favourite kink. This is rather self indulgent so please do bear with it. Here are some mini canons regarding some of my favourite Hypnosis mic bois...this is one of my current hype anime series after all. Not included all of the guys, i.e Badass temple and Dotsuitare hompo, simply because I don’t know them all yet. Anyway, click ‘keep reading’ if you wanna keep reading ;)

Ichirou Yamada- Boisterous and rowdy- preferred wording: Belly: Ichirou tends to cater to his belly when it growls in public by raising an eyebrow at it, scoffing in mild irritation and eating a lot. Secretly he flusters more when his brothers hear his empty tummy and make jokes but the oldest buster bro puts on a face for the two youngsters, always has. He’s been without food for the sake of his younger brothers before and during those times, he would often fill his starving belly full of water in a feeble attempt to quieten the organ and hope that the others didn't ear the odd escaping moan; after all he's the one that's supposed to be caring for the two youngsters and he’d hate to make them worry. Nowadays he’s more nonchalant around others when they hear his groans, waving it off or joking about grabbing a bite to eat.

Jirou Yamada- Persistant and whiny yet deep, as though imitating Ichirou's belly- Preferred wording: Belly: Jirou doesn't hide his hunger anymore, sure he used to go hungry a lot and it's not like he's not embarrassed by the noises that emanate from his belly, but he's too used to complaining and whining for food when he's starved nowadays. If he wasn't too dense to realize the strong front that Ichirou always used to put up for he and Saburo, Jirou would attempt to mimic the oldest brother and do the same thing, putting on a strong front for the youngest bro. Unfortunately Jirou is dense and doesn’t realize ... his stomach has a habit of groaning directly after Ichirou's has. His mouth waters a lot at the sight of food when he’s ravenous and he will eat rapidly in order to fill his stomach quicker, something Ichirou has scolded him for on multiple occasions.

Ramuda Amemura - Long and high pitched with a deep undertone - Preferred wording: Tummy: Ramuda just let's his tummy rumble in public, it really doesn't bother him, especially since the girls tend to find it cute and sometimes they even give him candy. It's a win win in the little shit's eyes. He'll openly whine, about how hungry he is while patting his tummy with both hands and is even known to ask others if they can hear it moan, all for attention of course. Ramuda doesn’t like being hungry for too long though and isn’t usually due to the amount of sweets he passively consumes. Must have a good metabolism.

Gentaro Yumeno - Soft and gentle but very aggressive when neglected - Preferred wording: Stomach or Belly: Gentarou generally has a soft spoken stomach if you will. He eats meals on a regular time scale and doesn’t often skip. That does not mean however that he never skips meals as sometimes he can become so carried away with his writing that he forgets to eat. In situations like this, the writer will find his stomach a nuisance as it begins to suddenly, without warning, rumble at a fairly audible volume....embarrassing if you’re in a restaurant people watching and writing because there is no doubt that they would have heard the hungry groans. In response Gentaro inwardly flushes and decides it may be high time to grab some food before he is once again, rudely interrupted. Most of the time the man’s stomach is calm and collected but in it’s defense, there are only so many hours you can go without food before you have to speak up.

Dice Arisugawa - Constantly groaning, medium length, fairly deep, echoey rumbles- Preferred wording: Belly: Dice is always gambling his money away and so doesn’t tend to have money for food. Dude would sooner gamble his life away than eat. Of course canonically this means he’s always hungry and always trying to mooch food and money. Therefore I don’t think he’d be privy to hiding the ominous groans that constantly escape his belly, he’d use the moaning of his gut to emphasize his point as he complains about how he needs food and that he’s wasting away. Puppy dog eyes, groaning tummy and theatrical belly rubs or even lifting up his shirt to show you the damage are all things he’s used to. The only time he hides his growling tummy is when he’s fruitlessly trying to explain that he hasn’t been gambling....which of course everyone knows is a lie. He’s not flustered by his groans and canonically will love anyone who treats him to a meal.

Samatoki Aohitsugi- Deep and violent groans - Preferred wording: Gut: Samatoki has no time for his stomach’s noises and will try to cover the noises up should he accidentally skip or have no time for a solid meal. He especially likes to keep an arm wrapped around it when the crazy navy officer of the Mad Trigger Crew is nearby in the fear that he’ll soon be stuffed to the gills with something foul. Samatoki’s little sister cooks decent meal portions for him and often prepares bentos for while he’s ‘working’ so it’s unusual to hear the white haired man’s belly in the first place. He actually dislikes being hungry and is prone to getting hangry. He wouldn’t want to admit it but he’s rather flustered by his belly noises as he feels they ruin his tough guy image and make people feel sorry for him. Watch his face turn red should you comment on a loud grumble or groan.

Jyuto Iruma- Fairly average, medium sounding gurgles- Preferred wording: Stomach: Jyuto is flustered easily enough by his stomach but he tries not to let it show; coughing into a gloved fist or pushing his glasses back onto his face are often enough to keep his embarrassment at bay. Tease him however and you’ll get the opposite effect, polite ‘excuse me’s’ reddening cheeks and robotic movements. The guy wants to remain cool and collected, not look and sound as though he’s missed multiple meals, do him a favour and don’t tease. Jyuto tries to keep his stomach nice and satisfied while keeping to his meal schedules as best he can. He shares his fear of being stuffed by Rio with Samatoki and shudders at the thought of his teammate’s cooking. Canonically, Jyuto’s grumbling tummy has caused trouble for both himself and Samatoki before.

Rio Mason Busujima - Deep, guttural, animal-like groans- Preferred wording: Gut/Stomach/Belly: Rio canonically lives in a tent in the woods catching and eating whatever he can to eat, which often leads to the ex-marine slurping down a plethora of weird and wonderful things. There are times when of course, he is unable to catch a decent meal and so may have to go to bed on a partially or completely empty stomach. There is nothing stopping him from buying food, he just doesn’t do it often, when he does, he stocks up on canned rations. On occasion he has found himself running without provisions and in those cases his stomach likes to very much voice its displeasure. Rio isn’t really bothered by his stomach or its growls, they’re natural and he’s used to it. I think the only way to fluster him with hunger would be if his stomach groaned in a crowded room and everyone heard it or maybe if you were to place an ear to it. His stomach is often loud like an animal roar, even at the start phase of his hunger and can be calmed only by gentle tummy rubs and food. You’d have no chance of getting any sleep whilst lay beside this man when he’s hungry.

Jakurai Jinguji - Soft and regular yet deep- Preferred wording: Stomach: The good doctor detests the idea of neglecting his stomach. It shouldn’t happen with his patients so why should he let it happen to himself? Unfortunately it does, rather often actually as the poor guy is always so busy taking care of others that he forgets about himself. Jakurai will always eat when he gets the chance to and he is fully aware that he needs to eat regularly to maintain a healthy diet, he’s a doctor after all. When hungry, the doctor’s tummy is fairly soft and deep sounding, rumbling in low tones that are not unlike that of his voice. It can become quite loud when he’s been hungry for long or if the poor doc falls asleep with an empty stomach as it will rumble deeply in a feeble attempt to wake its sleeping master. Most of the time Jakurai feels the vibrations before hearing them, especially if the room he’s in is bustling so he’s not too worried. Stomach noises are natural and his is just doing its thing. That does not mean that he won’t be embarrassed should a loud groan catch him off guard. Either way, stand next to this doctor on a busy day where he’s skipped lunch and keep an ear out. Perhaps you can hear those groans becoming gradually louder and louder as time goes by~

Hifumi Izanami - Almost sing-song-like, high-pitched gurgles- Preferred wording: It varies depending on the girl he’s talking to, otherwise he uses stomach: Hifumi’s stomach isn’t normally overactive, loud or really very vocal. It’s only on the odd occasion where he’s super hungry where it will whine like a neglected child. He’s usually sated and not hungry but Hifumi has a fairly good metabolism and can become hungry whilst working or chilling at home after a few hours of not eating. Should his belly groan while he’s working at the host club, suit on of course, he’ll just flirt it away “Do you hear that? That was the sound of me hungering for your love, how about some champagne?” In some awkward chat up line that somehow always works...much to Doppo’s irritation. He will change the wording and the way he acts about being hungry to match the girl he is currently with however, complain softly to those who like cute guys and acting refined about it to those who like mature men for example. Should Hifumi’s stomach grumble at home however he’ll whine to Doppo while cooking them both a dinner. He’s more likely to complain than he is to fluster at the sounds. Unlike Jakurai, Hifumi can drink on an empty stomach without getting tipsy as he’s built up an tolerance.

Doppo Kannonzaka - Average, each growl varies and is situational- Preferred word: Stomach or belly: Doppo eats normal foods at scheduled hours of the day. His lunch breaks are at the same time each day, his breakfast he eats at the same time each day and he presumably eats dinner with Hifumi at around the same time each day. Doppo’s stomach makes all sorts of noises, hungry or not and he finds it futile to attempt to stop them because he knows that they won’t listen anyway. His stomach has a mind of its own. Some days Doppo can be absolutely ravenous and not feel the bite of hunger with his stomach not making a peep, other days his stomach will groan loudly and uncontrollably, varying in pitch and tone. Should anyone hear this or dare I say comment on the sounds, he will blush and maybe even slam his head to the desk, cursing the world under his breath. He’s already way too tired to deal with the embarrassment of his random hungry stomach’s outbursts at work. He’ll have a bigger breakfast tomorrow he promises himself.  Regarding Doppo and Hifumi - I would assume that they come home from work at separate intervals, one working a salary man 9-5 job with overtime and the other being a host (Presumably working the Shinjuku nightlife.) I imagine that they get at least one meal a day together aside from Hifumi’s days off. My prediction as someone who worked the nightlife in England for 6 years is that the two rarely get time together but do see each other, Hifumi would possibly have to work weekends but may get time off in the week of or work less shifts, then again he is supposedly Shinjuku’s number 1 host so that may not be entirely accurate. Anyway it’s all speculation and I would totally love to hear more about their living habits. Let me know what you think, I’m slowly going to work through asks on my day off but I’m more than happy to chat hypmic ;)

[fantasiesandbooks]

Tenerife Sea vi

I don’t own any of the photos.

Prologue Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15

Chanyeol was lying on his bed looking at the ceiling, not able to sleep as he was still mad at Baekhyun and Sehun. He couldn’t understand why they reacted like that. Not to long ago they were bothering him about going out more; to have dates instead of spending most of his Friday nights with you or skipping some of his basketball games nights and now that he finally has one, he would have expected his friends to be more supportive and instead of it they just asked why now.

He sighed trying to released some of the tension he was feeling and the thought of you came to his mind. He didn’t think he was wasting his time with you or his hobbies. Both were some of the few things that bring joy to his life lately. You were his best friend and one of the few people that has stayed beside him through thick and thin but nowadays your relationship wasn’t the same as before. 

The next morning all the guys were having breakfast except for Chanyeol. Baekhyun and Sehun wondered if it was because he was still asleep or if he was still mad at both of them and didn’t want to look at them for now.

“Chanyeol is in his room, isn’t it?” Suho asked while grabbing a toast for his scrambled eggs.

“I think so, I didn’t hear someone leaving” Chen muffled, chewing some fruit.

“I”ll go for him. We have to leave in two hours” Suho started standing up from the table when Baekhyun gave a quick glance at Sehun who looked at him and slightly nodded.

“I’ll go” Baekhyun said at Suho who turned to look at him confused. “I... forgot something in his room and I need it it”. The older one look at him quizzically for a moment, shrugged and sat back to continue eating his breakfast “fine” he said lastly.

Baekhyun jogged up to the tall boy’s room and knocked on his door. 

“Who is it?” Chanyeol asked through the door.

“It’s Baekhyun” he said. After a few seconds without getting a response he asked “Can I come in?”. He waited a few more until he heard a muffled “yes” and opened the door. He entered the room and close it again. When he turned to look at Chanyeol he was putting on his sweatshirt, the tall boy giving him a quick frowning look and turned to continue rummaging his drawer. “What do you want?” He asked, seriousness in his voice.

“Everyone is having lunch and I came for you because we have to leave in two hours” Baekhyun explained.

“I’ll go in a minute” he said without turning to look at him. Baekhyun sighed and went to sit in the bed.“Yeol can you look at me?” He asked and Chanyeol turned, not quitting his frowning gaze and crossing his arms against his chest.

“What?” He asked harshly.

“I’m sorry for last night. Sehun too, we didn’t mean to sound as if we weren’t happy for you. It just... it’s so sudden that I guess we didn’t know how to react” Baekhyun said apologetically.

Chanyeol unfolded his arms and sighed, softening his gaze on the other boy and went to sit by his side. “It’s ok. I’m sorry too. Maybe it’s because I’m not getting a lot of sleep that I’ve been so moody lately.” Chanyeol thought out loud. “You don’t say.” Baekhyun said sarcastically and the other one nudged him. Both boys laughed slightly, returning to be their cheerie selfs with one another. 

“So... spill the beans. Who’s the girl you’re bringing to the party” Baekhyun asked suddenly and Chanyeol features harden a little bit.

“It’s...a girl from the studio” he said awkwardly.

“Oh! I see. have you been dating her?” Baekhyun asked trying to hide the concern he was starting to feel from his features and voice.

“No, this is the first date. I have talked to her most of the days I’m there and we have things in common so I thought maybe it would be nice to start dating again.” Chanyeol said scratching his neck awkwardly “I’m feeling weird about it. It has been so long since the last time I went on a date that I’m afraid I screw it” he turned his gaze down to look at his hands.

Baekhyun didn’t know what to do in that moment. He wanted to confort his friend but at the same time he didn’t want him to do his best at the date because of you.

“You know the funny thing about it?” Chanyeol sneered. “I don’t know why I’m feeling like this when she was the one that asked me out in the first place”

Baekhyun looked at him surprised. “Really?! So you are not interested in her?” He asked.

“Well...I kinda like her personality but I don’t know her that well to say I’m fully into her” Chanyeol said thoughtfully. At that Baekhyun could see the light at the end of the tunnel. So he doesn’t really like her. Ok good! We still have a chance to get him together with y/n he thought and snapped back to reality. He padded his friend’s back and tried to choose the right words to say.

“Don’t worry about it. Just be yourself. She should like you without you having to pretend or act different. If not...well, it’s her lost and you can think about it as an experience for getting back on the road.” Baek said casually. “Plus... if things go wrong you can always come to us for drinks and a pleasant talk” the pink-ish haired boy added and Chanyeol snorted. 

“Guys... what’s taking you so long?” they could hear Suho yelled through the corridor.

“We are coming” Baekhyun yelled back.

“Thanks dude” Chanyeol smiled at him and gave him a pad on the shoulder as he was standing up.

“No problem. That’s what bros are for.” Baekhyun said with a big smile on his face.  Chanyeol was walking to the door when the other boy suddenly remembered something. “Hey” Baekhyun said and the taller boy turned to look at him. “Are you going to tell y/n about your date?”

“I don’t think so. First I want to see if this date go out well. If I have a second one then I’ll tell her. Besides, is not like she’s going to the party. ” Chanyeol explained and went out to get together with the rest of the boys. Ok things are going to get tough from here Baekhyun thought to himself. He gave a heavy sigh and exited the room to catch up with the others.

Everyone was chatting around and eating as usual. Baekhyun went to sit down next to Sehun and the other boy asked him quietly “So... what happened?”.

Baekhyun turned to check at Chanyeol who was too caught up in chatting with Jongin. He then turned to looked at Sehun “ We still have a chance. I’ll tell you everything later” he said quietly. The other boy nodded in agreement and both tried to look as normal as they could be during the rest of the meal. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After rehearsals most of the guys scattered around to do their own activities leaving Jongin, Baekhyun and Sehun in the dorms. The last ones were in Baekhyun’s room, talking about what Chanyeol has told him. Sehun listened intently the whole story but somewhere in the middle of it, a thought started playing around in his mind. “Ok but you don’t think maybe we should change the plan?. Maybe if he sees y/n with someone else, that will push him to try harder with the other girl.” Sehun said thoughtfully.

“I’m not very sure about that. The way I see it he would feel that Jackson is taking his place in y/n’s life and he’ll not giving in that easily. I think there’s a pretty good chance this plan makes him more aware of his feelings for her.” Baekhyun explained. Both boys weren’t feeling completely sure about the idea but they really hoped that Chanyeol’s interest in you was greater than the idea to find love in someone else when he already has it with you.

“So... are we going to tell y/n?” Sehun asked doubtfully.

“Chanyeol isn’t planning to tell her but don’t you think it will be for the best before she sees him with his date?” Baekhyun asked the other boy and after a couple of minutes Sehun sighed and nodded in agreement “I just hope this doesn’t get her more anxious that she already is about the whole thing”. It seemed that you have read their minds because you were calling Sehun at that moment. The boy started to get nervous as he didn’t know what to say to you yet. “She’s calling. What do I do?” He asked nervously at Baekhyun.

“Answer.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes at the other one.

“Hi y/n! What’s up?” Sehun said trying to sound calmed.

“Hi Sehun! How are you?” You said sounding a little more cheerful than usual.

“I’m good” he lied. “And you?”.

“I’m fine. Listen, I was wondering if you are busy today. You see, I want to buy the costume for the Halloween party today and I might need a little help with choosing it.” You explained.

“Oh! I...” Sehun turned to look wide eyed at Baekhyun in search for guidance. The other boy listened quietly all your conversation and mouthed a “go” for Sehun to answered.

“Yeah! I’ll go with you. Hey! Can Baekhyun come with us?” He quickly asked and the other one slapped his arm.

“Sure. Actually, I called him too but he didn’t answered” you said. At that Baekhyun turned to look for his phone on the bed, grabbed it and saw that it was on silence mode which explains why they didn’t hear your 2 missed calls.

“Ok then. I’ll see you at the mall in 2 hours” you said.

“Yes, see you there.” Sehun said and hang up.

“Wft man?!” Baekhyun exclaimed. “Why you asked if I could come along?” He asked.

“I don’t want to give her the unpleasant news by my own” he said stating the obvious.

“Ahg... fine” Baekhyun whined.

“Deal” Sehun agreed exited the pinkish haired boy’s room. “Just let me grab my wallet” he yelled from his room. Baekhyun grabbed his things and went to the front door where Sehun was waiting for him. “This is not how I imagined to end my weekend.” Sehun pointed out. “Me neither but let’s get this over with.” Baekhyun said and boys left the apartment. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were already waiting for them, unaware of what was coming your way. When they arrived both greeted you with smiles on their faces.

“Hi” both boys said and you greeted back.

“So what kind of outfit do you have in mind?” Sehun asked you.

“Honestly I have no idea. First I thought about the little mermaid but its too revealing for me  so no. I thought about another Disney princess but the dresses are way big... a superhero maybe”

You said hesitantly. “What about you two?”

“I was thinking something like a pirate or a character with a suit” Baekhyun answered.

“I thought about and antihero like Mysterio or Venom but maybe something else caught my eye” Sehun said nonchalantly.

“You could be Jack Sparrow or one of the Men in Black” you suggested to Baekhyun. His eyes lighted up “Yeah, I haven’t thought about that.” The boy said, getting excited at the idea.

“Sehun, wouldn’t you like to be the other men in Black?, we could totally smashed the costume contest” Baekhyun tried to convinced him.

“Mmm... first let me see the costume” Sehun said not very keen on the idea and Baekhyun made a pouty face.

“Fine! Let’s go. We don’t have a lot of time since we have dance practice at night” The pinkish haired boy said.

Once in the store the boys found easily their costumes. At the end they’ve decided to go as Men in Black while you on the other hand, were having trouble in finding one that you loved. “Mmm... guys” You said as you were coming out from the dressing rooms, both boys turning to look at you. You were distracted looking down at the costume that you didn’t notice the bewildered looks on their faces at first as you were approaching them. “I like this one for the color and it has pants but...” you looked at the boys and the two of them were wide eyed.

“You think it’s too much?” You asked hesitantly. 

“No! You look beautiful” Baekhyun eyes sparkled and a big smile was drawn on his face. You searched for the costumes you had thought before, having no luck in finding them but after looking around in the store three times, you came across with a Princess Jasmine costume and thought this maybe be it. It had a turquoise-blue color with details in gold and little jewelry stitch to it, pants and a  corset that accentuated your waist and made your breasts look a little bit bigger. You were slightly uncomfortable because of the cleavage but you thought you could cover it with the veil that was part of the outfit.

“Yes! Chanyeol is gonna go crazy” Sehun clapped triumphantly.

“But don’t you think the cleavage is too much?” you whispered as more people was heading in your direction to tried their costumes.

“There’s never too much when you’re on hunting mission” Baekhyun said firmly. Sehun and you looked at him quizzically.

“If you say so...” you said.

“Ok now that you finally pick one. Can we go and grab some food? I’m starving.” Sehun complained.

“Just let me paid for this and we’ll go” you answered and went to change your clothes. Baekhyun turned to look at Sehun with worry on his features.

“Ok now this is the time to tell her” Baekhyun said and Sehun made a grimace at his comment.

“I don’t want to” the silverish haired boy said mortified.

“Me neither but we don’t have another choice, is either now or at the party because we don’t have free days until Thursday and I don’t want to tell her over the phone . At least today she can cried her eyes out and tried to pull herself together by that day” Baekhyun said thoughtfully.

“How do you know she will do that?” Sehun asked him skeptically.

“Haven’t you see her most of the times she comes to the dorms and watch with us drama movies?. It looks like she’s got hoses instead of eyes” Baekhyun said matter of factly.

“Ah!... I remember now” Sehun cringed at the memory. He sighed heavily “Ok then... let’s do this” and gave the other boy a reassurance pad on the back. The three of you were eating while chatting lightly. Baekhyun side eyeing Sehun every once in a while as if asking silently something you shouldn’t know. At first you thought it was your imagination but after the fifth time seeing the boys do the same mannerisms you decided to ask bluntly.

“What’s going on?” You asked to both of them, looking from one to another.

“I... We have something to tell you” Sehun said, looking at Baekhyun for support.

“Yeah, it’s about the date” Baekhyun said hesitantly.

“About my date with Jackson?” You asked curiously.

“No, it’s Chanyeol’s” Baekhyun muttered. You didn’t understand what he was saying “What did you say?” You propped yourself on the table to hear him better.

“Chanyeol has a date for the Halloween party” Sehun blurted out and you looked at him shocked. Baekhyun and him gave you regretful looks while you let yourself slightly fall back into the chair while his words were sinking in your brain.

“Oh...” was the only word you could managed to say, trying to keep yourself together as you felt your heart has just been punched and a wave of sadness was rapidly spreading through your heart and mind.

“Do you know her?” You asked quietly.

“No, he only said it’s a girl from the studio.” Sehun explained.

“But the good news is that he wasn’t the one that invited her. It was her who asked him out and he told me he’s just doing it because he wants to start dating again” Baekhyun said a little bit excited.

“Great” you said sarcastically.

“What I’m saying is that he doesn’t have feelings for her yet so you still have a chance” Baekhyun explained.

You sighed, trying very hard not to get suck by the swirl of hopelessness you were feeling. The boys were sitting there not knowing what to do; If they should reach for your hand and say some reassuring words or hug you and soothe you like if you were a fragile being they have to take care for.

“What are you thinking?” Sehun asked you after seeing you were getting lost in your thoughts.

“Please don’t tell me you are thinking on quitting” Baekhyun pleaded.  “I...” you started saying but got cut off by Sehun.

“You are not going to cancel the your date, are you?” Sehun asked.

“Of course not” you answered and the two of them sighed relieved. “Jackson was kind enough to accept going with me despite everything. I still have principles despite my mood swings you know” you scoffed. Both boys were surprised at your answer but almost instantly a smile crept on their faces.

“Good, because you can still win this over” Sehun said.

“And I’m almost sure you have nothing to worry about” Baekhyun said cheerfully.

“Baek the almost isn’t very assuring but thank you” you sneered.

Sehun looked at the clock on his cellphone and turned to looked at the other boy

“We have to go. We have to get back to the dorms. Our manager is picking us up for practice”. The three of you started getting up from the table, gathered their things and started walking towards the parking lot.

“Well, I’ll see you at the party” you said stopping at the place where cabs arrived. “You’re not coming with us?. We still have time to give you a lift.” Baekhyun said. “I’m gonna grab a cab. I don’t want you to feel pressured because of the time. Thank you though.” You explained.

“Ok” Baekhyun said reluctantly “but let us know when you arrive home”.

“Sure. Thank you guys” you smiled a little, waving goodbye at them.

“Bye” both said at unison and started walking to their car.  You could see them getting away, Sehun turning slightly to look at you and making a fighting signal to which you smiled, he returned the gesture and carried on. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once in your house you let yourself felt into your bed feeling emotionally exhausted. You didn’t want the boys to see you cried and now tears were rolling down your temples. It was a quiet crying, each one of your tears carrying the pain and the fears you had as you could imagined Chanyeol being happy with other girl; Laughing and taking care of her, trying his best to make her happy and those scenarios just crushed you. If they hurt so much just by playing them in your mind you didn’t even want to think if you see them become reality. Maybe it’s greedy you thought. Wanting his love and attention in a closer way than you already have it. In that moment, something stirred within you. A feeling of courage, foolishness, desperation?!, you can’t quite tell which one it is but you decided that even if you’re afraid you are gonna fight for him because Chanyeol worths it, because your happiness worths it and you were so sure that if you two finally give a leap in your relationship, something great would come out for the both of you.

The day of the party finally arrived, you were finishing the last touches to your hair when Jackson arrived. He was waiting for you outside in his car. Leaning on one side of it he looked at you and waved a hand.

“Wow y/n. You look amazing” he said smiling widely.

“Thanks Jackson” You said, your cheeks starting to get flushed. “You too. The pirate costume suits you well” you complimented him.

“Thank you but you see, I’m not just any pirate. I’m Jack Sparrow” he said with pride.

“Ok so where is your wig,Jack?” You asked him amused.

“In the car. It was getting difficult driving with that thing on” he laughed lightly. “But wait until you see me with the hole outfit. I’m gonna win the costume contest, look! I’ve even been practicing the way he walks like he’s always drunk”. He said excitedly as he was mimicking Jack’s way of walking on the sidewalk. Both of you started laughing “You are doing it well. Just try not to do it near fancy stuff” you suggested.

“I’ll try my best” he smiled. “We better be going if we want to arrive before the good food runs out and we are left with the snacks”. He said. You chuckled at his comment and reached your hand to grab the handle of the car’s door.

“Allow me, princess” Jackson said and opened the door for you, extending his hand like the royal’s chauffeurs in the movies.

“Thank you” you said kindly and hopped in the car.

On you way to the party you two started chatting, catching up with each other’s lives as there has been a long time since the you last saw each other.

“Correct me if I’m wrong but last time I saw you you were dating a girl, weren’t you?. I recall you said it was one from your album production team” you said suddenly.

“Ah yeah. Well that was long ago” he looked calmed. “I’m sorry for intruding” you apologized. “Not at all. We just drifted apart because of our jobs. We decided to break up and being friends again” he explained.

“Aah... I see” you trailed off and look at the view outside.

“And you?” Jackson quickly glanced at you and returned his gaze on the road "Is there a guy who wants to hit me for taking his girl to a party that I should worry about?" “ He joked. “Sadly no” you sneered “It’s been ages since there was one so don’t worry about it”. “Why did you say sadly?” He asked amused. Now is the time you thought to yourself. You will have to explain him the thing with Chanyeol and ask him for his help. You could start feeling the embarrassment going up to your cheeks. You can do this y/n you encouraged yourself. “Because there’s a guy that I like but he doesn’t like me back” you said, trying not to look at him in case he looked back.

“Oh! and I know this guy?” Jackson asked curiously.

“It’s Chanyeol” you sneered.

“Why do you say it like that?” The brown haired boy asked, not finding the funny part in it.

“Apparently everyone in this planet will know about me liking him before he finds out”. You said ironically.

“And why don’t you just tell him?” He said nonchalantly.

“Because It’s not that easy. He’s my best friend and he is going to the party with someone.” You said, sadness could be heard in your voice.

“Ah...I’m sorry” Jackson said awkwardly. 

“It’s ok. It’s not your fault” you simply said. “But hey! Don’t think about that anymore. Tonight its about partying and eating until our bellies stick out from out costumes” he tried to cheered you up. You smiled a little “I don’t think I could do that in this corset” you pointed out and he laughed.

“Jackson” You said hesitantly and the boy hummed in response. “I told you this because I don’t want any misunderstandings. This is a friend’s night out, right?” You questioned him.

“Of course! I don’t want a girlfriend right now. Don’t get me wrong, you’re beautiful and funny but right now I just want to focus on my solo album” he explained. Giving you a quick sided smile and you nodded.

“Good because there’s something I need to ask you” you said. Your nerves spiraling up inside your body.

“Anything” he said gladly.

“Could you pretend to be my boyfriend?. It would be just in front of Chanyeol and his date and you don’t have to do anything special and you can totally say no if you don’t want to” you were having “word vomit” and wanted to throw yourself out of the car.

“Be your fake boyfriend?” Jackson asked doubtfully.

“Yes” you sighed in defeat. After a couple of seconds in silence that you felt was like eternity you lower your gaze to your hands “Never mind, please let’s just make as if I didn’t ask you anything” you were feeling stupid and ashamed.

“Ok” he said calmly. You turned to look at him, confusion readable in your face. “What?” You asked puzzled. “I’ll do it. I’ll pretend to be your boyfriend” he said nonchalantly, as if you had just asked him the hour and he gave it to you.

“I...but... thank you...” you stuttered, still processing his response “why?” Shock still visible in your face. Jackson laughed, completely amused by the whole situation and your expressions. “Because I can totally see you need some help with that” he explained. “I don’t know if I should take that as an insult” you said thoughtfully. He shook his head slightly with a smile on his face. “Thank you” you smiled at him. “No problem. Maybe I should need the same favor one day” he said. “And I will gladly help you if I’m single” you said firmly and he snorted.

“Ok we are here” he indicated and parked the car. You could see on the outside of the window a big house adorned with Halloween stuff, pumpkins, ghosts, spiderweb, and a lot of other things. The music blaring out coming from it. There were a lot of people coming into the house wearing different costumes; werewolves, witches, skeletons, you name it. “Are you ready girlfriend?” Jackson asked you when he opened the car’s door for you and extended a hand for you to take. You grabbed his hand and smiled at him “let’s go” you said and both of you headed towards the house.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was a caos inside of it, a sea of people chatting and dancing around the massive living room, loud music coming from a DJ booth they had at one corner of the room.  You spotted some of the guys from Exo near the bar, chatting between each other and some other people you didn’t recognized.

“I’m gonna go to say hi to my friends” You said loud enough for Jackson to heard you through the music and pointed at them.

“Ok, I’m gonna greet some people too. See you in a bit” he said and went to one of the small groups of people that were near the kitchen. It was very hard for you to arrived where the boys were standing. Dodging people dancing and others half drunk already. When you finally were standing in front of them you could hear Baekhyun’s loud voice.

“Y/n finally” Baekhyun yelled excited. Sehun, Jongin and Chen turning around to see you and make a spot for you in their little circle.

“Wow y/n. You look really sexy” Chen, who was dressed as a vampire said, eyeing you from head to toe.

“Sexy and pretty” Jongin smiled widely at you. He was dressed as Alain Delon.

“Baekhyun and I helped her pick the costume” Sehun said smugly. You nudged him slightly and turned your attention to the other boys.

“Thank you guys. You always lift my spirit” you said satisfied with the result of your outfit. After all it took you 1 hour to get inside the corset that although it was beautifully crafted, you were feeling as if it was shrinking your lungs.

“Do you want something to drink?” Chen asked you.

“A margarita would be nice” you said.

“Got it!” He said and turned to ask the bartender for it.

“Why didn’t you come with us? He could have picked you up” Jongin asked curiously.

“Ah, I came with someone” you said calmly.

“What?! Do you have a date?” Chen asked amused.

“Yeah kind of” you said a little awkward.

“Who is it?” Jongin asked excited.

“It’s Jackson. do you know him?” You asked Chen and Jongin. As far as you knew Baekhyun and Sehun were the only ones out of the group that get along with him.

“I have talked to him from time to time. He seems like a cool guy” Chen answered. “Same” Jongin said and you nodded at their responses.

“Nevertheless he still has to go through our interrogation.” Chen said firmly.

“Chanyeol is gonna be the toughest to convinced” Jongin mocked.

“Speaking of... Have you seeing him? I lost tracked of him and his date about an hour ago” Baekhyun said.

“They are over there sucking each other faces” Chen said disgusted and pointed towards one corner of the room. Everyone turned to look and there he was kissing that girl, she was practically all over him. You felt a sharp pang on your chest, never have you ever imagined it would hurt like that to see Chanyeol with another girl, not even when you weren’t feeling for him like the way you are now. It was an image that stung your eyes and your heart.  You tried your best to hold back the tears that were threatening to come out, suddenly feeling a warm touch in your hand and a squeeze after that. You turned to look at your hand, it was Sehun’s hand intertwined with yours.  You move your gaze from your hands to his face, he was looking at you apologetically and mouthed a “sorry” to which you only squeezed his hand in return as if saying “it’s ok” although your face clearly showed otherwise.

“y/n here’s your drink” Chen said and handed it over you.

“Thank you” You took it and in one shot you emptied the cup. The alcohol burning your throat as you weren’t much of a drinker. You thought maybe that way you could cover up the teary eyes and make them think it was the drink the cause of it and not your broken heart.

“Easy there y/n. We don’t want to carry another drunk person besides Baekhyun” Chen said, side eyeing the boy next to him.

“I’m not drunk” Baekhyun scoffed and gave a sip to his beer.

“Yet. You keep drinking as if that were apple juice” Chen retorted.

“They have low percentage of alcohol” Baekhyun pointed at the beer label.

“Hey guys! What are you looking at?” A very cheerful Suho dressed with a Phantom of the opera costume said joining the group. Jongin pointed at the unpleasant scene developing in front of you and Suho turned to look. “Ahg” Suho made a grimace “ok there’s nothing interesting to look there”. He turned and looked at you surprised. “Oh y/n! What are you doing here?. You look amazing by the way.” he said excited.

The rest of the boys and you focused your gaze on Suho. “Thanks for the compliment. And to answer your question I came with someone” you said, trying to sound cheerful.

“Where had you been? We saw you with Minho and then you disappeared” Sehun said to their leader.

“I went with Siwon and Donghae to drink outside” he explained.

“Who you came with?” Suho returned his attention to you.

“I came with Ja...” you were cut off by a familiar voice.

“Guys” It was Chanyeol. He approached your group with the girl following him a few steps behind. When he scanned the group of faces there his face changed from one of excitement to one of bewilderment. He didn’t expect to see you here and certainly not looking like that. He was baffled. For him you looked beautiful, sexy and cute all at the same time. Maybe it’s because I hadn’t seen her with full makeup on or is it the hair?! He thought, can’t stopping himself from eyeing you. But then his eyes settled on your face and it wasn’t one of happiness. You were looking at him with a big frown on your features.

Chanyeol was wearing a Deadpool costume. You thought maybe it was customized for the way it hugged his body nicely. It even looks like he has a toned ass and his arms, My God! His arms, ok you seriously need to stop drooling about his arms y/n you thought.You were mad at him and he looking hot like that only irritated you more. 

“Y/n... what are you doing here?” He asked surprised. Before you could answer a female voice interrupted “What’s up guys? Are you enjoying the party?!” An over excited girl said standing next to Chanyeol and grabbed him by the arm, it was his date. The girl look nothing like you; black hair, slim frame, shorter and skin lighter than yours. She was wearing a sexy angel costume with heels that made her look your height. Ironic her costume choice you thought. Once she noticed you among the boys she scanned you from head to toe “who’s this?” She asked.

“I’m y/n. And you are?” You said as sweet and sarcastic as you could sound.

“I’m Sojin. I came with Chanyeol. Are you with one of the boys?” She asked while she grabbed firmly at your best friend.

“Nope. I’m just a friend of them” you explained matter of factly.

“No way! She’s more like our sister” Baekhyun said and put and arm over your shoulder.

“Oh! Then I guess will see each other very often” she said teasingly.

“Much likely so” you kept your sarcastic smile.

“Y/n” Jackson yelled from the middle of the dance floor, struggling to walk over to your spot.

You saw him waving at you and that was your cue to leave this awful conversation. “Well, if you excuse me I have to go. Maybe I’ll see you guys later” you pulled off from Baekhyun’s grip on you and started walking towards the dance floor “Nice to meet you” you said passing near Sojin.

“You too” she answered and you kept walking, getting lost in the sea of people dancing around.

Chanyeol was still trying to process was just had happened. He could tell you were annoyed but why? Is it because he didn’t tell you about the party or About his date? And why did you leave with Jackson? He asked himself all of this when he felt a shake on his arm “Yeolie look! There’s people playing beer pong over there. Let’s go! Maybe we can play too” Sojin said excited.

“I...” he said and started walking reluctantly as Sojin was pulling him in the direction where the game was taking place.

“Guys…” he turned to look at his friends and saw Jongin waved him goodbye until more people stood between them and he could see them no more.

The rest of the boys stood in there feeling confused at the whole situation.

“We lost a soldier” Jongin sighed.

“That was so awkward” Sehun muffled while eating a couple of peanuts he grabbed from the bar.

“Can someone please explain to me what’s going on?” Suho asked the guys.

“Chanyeol is on a date. He didn’t tell y/n about it and she’s on a date too, with Jackson. We like Jackson, we don’t like Sojin” Baekhyun explained and most of the boys nodded in agreement.

“Did you know her already?” Suho asked confused.

“Chanyeol arrived one hour later than us. He introduced her when you were outside with the others”. Jongin explained. “Oh! I see. And why you didn’t like her?” The leader asked. “She was bragging about her job at the studio the entire time. Plus, you didn’t see the conversation with y/n?..” Chen explained and Baekhyun nodded eagerly.

Suho sighed heavily and nodded in agreement. “I could see y/n was upset about it but we have to support Chanyeol, what else can we do?” He asked them.

“Not let her in into the dorm” Sehun muttered and Suho gave him a scolding look while Baekhyun suppressed a laugh.

You were with Jackson in the kitchen telling him all about what had happened with the boys and Chanyeol and Sojin. You were drinking more than usual, thinking that could numb the pain and rage inside of you. You took a shot of tequila and offered one to Jackson. “I’ve already had my limit. Designated driver here” he said pointing at himself. “Fine” you said and drank it.

“You know, she’s an ass which makes her easier to hate” you explained and he sneered.

“Why this has to happen to me?. Why couldn’t I just seen him forever as my best friend and saving me all the trouble and emotions that came with it?” You said miserably. Jackson took the glass of out your hand and put himself between you and the bottles that were lining on the counter.

“Maybe it’s because you spend a lot of your free time with him and more than a friend, you see him as a partner with whom you can do everything” he explained. 

“ Maybe there is some true in what you said but right know in feeling kind of drunk and I don’t want to think too much” you grabbed your head and he laughed hard at your comment.

“Come on drunk woman. Let’s go to dance, that will help you to sober up a little” he said and grabbed your hand, pulling you across the room and people until you we’re standing in one corner of the dance floor.

The music was upbeat and he pulled you to his side, grabbing your arms to keep you steady. Soon enough you were dancing and jumping with him, the alcohol leaving your body little by little. A slow song came next, Jackson grabbed you by the waist and pulled you closer to him so you could keep more balance.

“Thank you. I really needed this” you said to him and he smiled back.

“No problem. I know what it feels like. Loving someone so close to you that you are afraid they might not love you back in the same way but also afraid someone might take it away from you” he said. You looked at him wide eyed “Do you? Who was the girl?” You asked surprised.

“That my friend is a history I’ll tell you when you’re 100% sober” he said amused.

“Fine” you scoffed jokingly.

“I must say I’m a little bit surprised though. I thought you were the one who crushed a lot of girl hearts” you said teasingly.

“I have my fair share. I mean I’m good looking, charming, I can speak a lot of languages and so on. What is there for them not to like about me?” He said smugly and you slapped his chest while laughing.

“Seriously, what other languages you speak?” You asked amused.

“I can speak Chinese, Spanish, English and Korean obviously” he counted.

“Ok say something in Spanish” you challenged him. He put his mouth closer to your ear, a chill ran through your arms when an exhale left his lips and whispered “Primo”. You laughed loudly, your eyes getting watery at the word and he laughed too.

“That means cousin. That doesn’t count as speaking a language” you retorted still laughing at his antics.

“You got me there” he said chuckling “I swear I know more phrases but I don’t remember them at the moment” he confessed.

“Sure” you said teasingly. 

“Do you speak Spanish?” He asked you. 

“I know a little. I took classes in College” you explained.

“Ah! Maybe You should teach me someday. It would be better if you teach me some things to flirt” he suggested and you laughed.

“I will look them for you” you said and he nodded pleased.

“Hey!” He said all of a sudden and you hummed in response.

“We have an audience” he gestured towards the place were Sehun, Baekhyun and Chanyeol surprisingly without his plus one, stood.

You turned slightly to look at them, Sehun and Baekhyun chatting cheerfully and pointing at someone in the crowd and then your eyes settled on Chanyeol’s face. He was looking at you guys straight ahead without pretending to look at others in the floor. There was a big frown on his face, his features hardened. They were nothing like the ones you saw the other time with Baekhyun and you at your place. These felt different but you couldn’t explained why. Maybe he was upset because his date left him or he’s just drunker than what he could handle. Everybody knew Chanyeol gets through different emotions when he’s drunk but the most frecuently out of them all was moody.

“Let’s try to make him mad” Jackson said and grabbed your face gently with both hands. 

“Wha...” you were starting to say when he cut you off with a kiss. At first you were surprised, only sensing his lips over yours. It was a weird sensation because your mind was racing with thoughts about you, Jackson and Chanyeol. Your heartbeat after the sudden surprise, came to its normal beating.  Something in the kiss made you forget about all those thoughts and you gave into it. You closed your eyes, hearing the music loudly around you but focusing on the kiss; it was gentle, warm and his lips tasted like a sweet drink you couldn’t tell what was it.  Maybe you should thank all the alcohol you had drunk because at some point of it you were kinda enjoying it. It wasn’t until someone of the crowd pushed him a little bit that you two got separated. A flash of memories and thoughts came suddenly back to you and you panicked.

“I’m sorry .I need a moment” You said rapidly to Jackson and turned to headed towards the corridor. He called your name but you were already several steps ahead of him. You felt confused and wanted to find a place where you could be alone for a while. What am I gonna say to him? That I liked the kiss?! That we shouldn’t do it again?! You were so caught up in your mind walking around the house until you felt a strong grip on your right arm. It was Chanyeol, he had the same expression on his face as the one he had when you were dancing with Jackson.

“Let’s talk” were the only words he said and he started pulling you towards the garden. You snatched his hand away and he turned to looked at you “I can walk on my own” you said annoyed. Finally the two of you were on the east side of the garden, away from the people who was hanging out in the pool.

“What’s up with you?” You said to him. Crossing your arms over your chest as the night air hit you.

“Why you had to be so rude?” He said bitterly.

“What are you talking talking about?” You asked confused.

“When we were with the guys. You were sarcastic to everything she was saying” he pointed out.

He was a bit drunk already, you could smell the alcohol from where you were standing but even like that you were not gonna go easy on him. If he wanted to fight he’d have it as you had also a few things to say.

“Excuse me?! She was the one that was rude in the first place. You just not arrived with a group of people out of nowhere and ask who’s this? To anyone. That’s rude” you pointed out.

“Cut her some slack, she was already half drunk” he excused her. “And apparently so do you” you retorted and he scoffed.

“You should be less concerned about that and more concerned about your reputation” he spat.

“What does that mean?!” You asked. Rage growing on you with every word that was coming out of his mouth.

“You shouldn’t go around kissing boys” he explained.

“First of all, I don’t go around kissing every boy I come across. Jackson is my date. And secondly, you are clearly in no position to tell me that when you did the same with Sojin” you were fuming by now.

“Well I shouldn’t have said that if I had known he was your date but you didn’t even consider on telling me about it” he said accusingly.

“I tried when your little angel interrupted me” you explained “plus, you also didn’t tell me about your rendezvous”.

“I didn’t think you would be here” he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Well coincidence is a bitch sometimes” you said sarcastically.

“You know what y/n? I don’t know why I’m wasting my time arguing with you. You always do that, you put a barrier over yourself and don’t let new people come near you. That's why you don't have other people to turn to, it’s just me or the boys and also the reason why you felt miserable in your job but I’m not like that. I want to meet other people and do other things. You and the guys are not my whole world you know” he said abruptly.

It was as if he was throwing knives at your heart and his last words were the one he took the time to push deep inside of it.

You were speechless by the pain and the anger you were feeling. Your eyes getting watery due to both of them. You always hated that, for you it was as if you were showing you were weak but you just couldn’t help it. It’s as if your eyes had control over themselves. You are not my whole world…  the words kept resonating in your mind and would probably be stuck in your heart forever.

Well it sucks because you are mine you thought.

“No, I’m clearly not.” You said bitterly and a tear rolled down your cheek.

At that moment, Chanyeol woke up from his drunken state with the last words he said. He was angry at you at first for not trying to get along with Sojin, then seeing you going from side to side gleefully with Jackson when he was getting drunk for some stupid game his date wanted to play was the cherry on top of the cake. One thing he was sure was that he didn’t mean any of the last things he said about you or the boys, he just wanted to make you angry and by the looks of it he had done more than that.  He could see anger in your eyes but also hurt in them. None of the fights you two had had before had ended with one of you crying and he immediately regretted what he had said.

“Y/n I...” he tried to apologize but you didn’t let him finish and started walking towards the house. You were removing the tears from your face when you found Jackson sitting on the stairs.

“Jackson” your voice trembling. He turned to look at you concerned.

“What happened? Are you ok?” He asked worriedly.

“Can we go now?” You shook your head and sobbed.

“Of course, let’s go.” He said and started walking with you towards the entrance of the house. 

This was not how you imagined the night would end.

 Chanyeol came back hurriedly to the house, he was trying to find you so he could apologize and tell you what a big of an asshole he was. He spotted Baekhyun and came over to him

“Hey! Have you seen y/n?” He asked out of breath, eyeing the crowd in case he could see you among them.

“No, I haven’t. Your girl is looking for you by the way” Baekhyun said nonchalantly “Why are you looking for y/n?”.

“We had a fight and I went overboard and she started crying”. The tall boy explained rapidly.

“You are an ass” Baekhyun said matter of factly.

“I know” Chanyeol sighed and grabbed his hair in frustration.

He had messed it up big time and now he didn’t know how to fix it.

Thank you for the support and comments. I hope you like the series and enjoy this chapter. I’ve been busy these days but I’ll try to post the next one as soon as possible. ^^ 

[she-is-tim]

P.S. I miss you | Elu Online friends AU | Ch.1

It’s been since a month now that Eliott started to talk to this interesting boy on instagram. They get along well and it’s just a safe place for him to go back to when things are getting too much in his life. But january is here and he’s about to start at his new school. What he doesn’t expect is to bump into the person he’s been texting with. Suddenly Eliott’s life going upside down as he both tries to approach and avoid Lucas at the same time. 

The New Student

Eliott got up from his bed, turning off the alarm he snoozed at least five times in the last ten minutes. He got used to sleeping in during the holidays and this morning he felt extra grumpy for needing to wake up early. New school, new people, on hist last year. Gotta be a real fun ride, huh? He yawned, running his fingers through his messy hair and walked to the bathroom, taking care of his morning needs, such as peeing, brushing teeth and washing his face. When he was done, he took off the old shirt and shorts he was using as pyjamas, putting on light blue jeans and a black shirt. Before getting into his hoodie and going to the kitchen for breakfast, maybe some coffee, he grabbed his phone, unplugging it from the charger and checked his instagram. There was one new message. He quickly opened it, not being aware of the wide smile that spread across his face.

lucallemant Uhg, I hate waking up early

srodulv You tell me?  New school and all, remember? 

lucallemant Fuck, really That sucks

srodulv Wish me luck

lucallemant Should I send kisses? 

srodulv Oh, being playful so early in the morning?  I love that 

lucallemant It’s the Eli affect for sure 

srodulv So I’m affecting you?  Good to know 

lucallemant Shut up  Weirdo 

srodulv This weirdo have to get ready for school Talk later? 

lucallemant Good luck ❤️

srodulv ❤️

He was still smiling like an idiot as he got to the kitchen, making himself some toast and reheating some coffee from yesterday. It wasn’t the most healthy breakfast, but he could get on with it at least. Before leaving he pocketed his phone, put on his favorite brown jacket and left the apartment with his bag on his shoulder. Suddenly he started feeling really nervous. Through the past month neither he or Lucas had many things to do, so they were texting (and flirting) back and forth basically all day, but now they are going to have classes, homework, studies. It made him feel anxious to think about that he can’t share things with him, because he will be busy. 

With a sudenly appeared lump in his throat, he got off the bus at the stop nearest to his new high school. He pulled up his hoodie both as a protection from cold and from the curious eyes. He put in his earphones, turning on some dubstep, making sure the volume is high enough for him to cover the possible whispers, but not too loud to hear if anyone tries to talk to him. 

He walked through the school gates, trying to blend into the other students that arrived the same time. Everyone is busy greeting each other after the long holiday break, so he has good chances of not being spotted as the new kid. He almost made it to the building, people around him went off to their own way, when a small group of guys were coming towards him. They were so busy talking about something, that they didn’t notice Eliott. One of them even bumped his shoulders into him, but he kept talking with so much passion that was unreal in such early hours. The tall boy was so intrigued by these guys, that he stopped, turning around to see them, but all he saw was him. 

He felt like someone pulled the ground from under him, letting him spin and fall in the endless pit. His stomach flipped, his heart skipped a beat, then started beating faster than a race horse. He couldn’t believe that it was Lucas, but he saw his photos on instagram so many times that he could pinpoint him in the biggest crowd anytime. He was even more beautiful in person, his hair seemed soft, bouncing up and down as he walked. His smile was brighter than the sun. The only thing that surprised Eliott was his height, he was so tiny.

He looked down, then back up again, realizing that Lucas and his friends disappeared from his sight already. He swallowed the lump in his throat, continuing his way to the principal’s office. He had to get some things done before starting his classes. Deep inside he was fighting a battle with himself, incapable of forgetting his accidental meeting with his online friend... crush actually.

He was on lunch break, spending it outside on a bench, munching on his cold cheese toast and drinking orange juice. He could only start eating at the cafeteria tomorrow, so he had to bring food with himself from home, which was a bad idea, considering how bad of a cook he was. Suddenly his meal seemed even less intriguing when his phone buzzed, letting him know that he got a new notification. 

lucallemant So, how’s the new school?  I’m bored out of my mind 

srodulv It’s okay so far Eating cold cheesetoast  Delicious~

lucallemant Eugh! That’s disgusting Why aren’t you eating in the cafeteria? 

srodulv No tickets, only tomorrow

lucallemant I’m eating some weird looking pasta It doesn’t taste as bad as it looks like though

srodulv Well, I’m just gonna bury my sadness into my cheesetoast then 

lucallemant You are being unnecessarily dramatic

srodulv I’m craving for your attention 

lucallemant Yeah, right Dramatic

srodulv I like to label myself as romantic

lucallemant Sure, whatever Gotta go, the boys are bugging me for texting so much

srodulv Talk later then  ❤️

lucallemant Talk later  ❤️

Eliott sighed, pocketing his phone with a silly smile. He couldn’t remember when they started to use hearts when they said goodbye to each other, but since then both of them are doing it and it’s just so wholesome. It makes his heart flutter everytime. He was so in depth with his thoughts that he didn’t notice the girl standing in front of him, hands on her waist, so he startles when she says hi. He looks up and his face falls. Imane, wearing a nice headband over her braided locks, makeup is on point like always, her eyes piercing like a sharp knife. He swallows.

“Hey!” that’s all he can force out. He’s supposed to be the older one, but who the hell could be brave when someone is looking at them with such a mad expression. He knew Imane wasn’t a bad person, but she still had a tough personality, which won her the respect from Eliott. 

“Didn’t know you are going to my school.” she said it so casualy, like he was owing her any explanations to which school he attends to.

“This is my first day.” he shrugged. “Didn’t the boys tell you that I’m changing schools?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. Idriss usually shared every little thing with Imane, but probably he just forgot to mention this, since both him and Sofiane already graduated last year, there weren’t much talk about school between the three boys. 

“No.” she shook her head, expression easing a little now. “Problems in the other school?” he asked with so much understanding that it basically hurt Eliott. She knew exactly how it feels like to be different from others, wanting to break out of your previous life and start things over. He smiled at her softly.

“Something like that.” he admitted, trying to brush off the question. It was for the best if no one knows about his bipolarity in the new school. He was already grateful that neither Idriss or Sofiane shared that information with the girl. It was his private secret and he didn’t wanted anyone to pity him or think that he’s crazy. Especially not Lucas. 

“I see.” she nodded, not pushing forward the topic, which Eliott was forever grateful for. “We will have this thing.” she said, giving him a little piece of paper, well put together leaflet that was advertising some common room meeting. The boy raised his eyebrows in quiestion. “My friend is really excited about this, she wants to bring something new to the school, a place were people can meet up, talk and get to know each other.” she explained with a soft smile that made her look even more beautiful. “Can you come? We need people to be there, so she can go on with this project.” 

“Yeah, sure.” he said and shrugged, putting the paper in the pocket of his jeans. “It might be even useful for me, since I know noone here.” he said smirking, trying not to remember how big of a lie that was. He knew someone, and he knew him really well. 

“Cool, see you there then.” she said with a victorious smirk and walked away, probably back to her friends. Eliott sighed, throwing the rest of his toast and his empty juice box into the trash, walking back inside to his next class. 

The week passed by pretty calmly, Eliott decided to just avoid Lucas at school, which wasn’t hard since they weren’t in the same year. Also the short boy had no idea how Eliott looks like, neither he knew his full name. He once sent him a picture of his pet snake, Nagini wrapped around his neck, but he made sure his face is not showing on the photo. Oh yes, Eliott had a fucking snake as a pet, named him after the snake of Voldemort and loves him more than anything. He is that kind of nerd. Obviously he managed to freak Lucas out with that fact, but he only needed a week to get over it and now he sometimes just casualy asks how Nagi is doing, which makes Eliott’s heart melt each time.  

By friday he was kinda comfortable in his new school, even made friends with a cool guy called Alex. He was super chill, super nice and vegetarian. Eliott sadly couldn’t live without meat in his life, but he had huge respect for those who chose that path voluntarily. He was a bit disappointed when Alex said that he’s not going to the common room, because he knew just enough people and he also had basketball practice too. So accepting his fate, Eliott made his way to the place.

As he walked inside with a hopeful smile on his face, he noticed that he was probably a few minutes late, since the girls at the front were already talking. Thankfully the door was wide open so he didn’t got anyone’s attention by coming in and sat down to the closest chair he found. He catched a disapproving look from Imane, but she also had a smug smile on her face. He smirked back at her and for some reason he looked through the crowd. A lot of people came, which was really nice, since the blonde girl, Daphné if he remembered correctly seemed happy. She was probably the one initiating this whole thing.

His eyes almost wandered back to the girls in front of the group, when he caught a pair of blue irises staring at him. He felt like time froze right then and there as he stared back at Lucas. His heart was thumping in his ears, making him impossible to hear anything that is being said by the girls. He watched the boy swallow and turning back to his friends as they snapped him back to reality. Eliott was never so grateful for anything in his life, but he felt like if the boy would be staring just a few seconds longer at him, he would just launch himself at him, kissing the living hell out of those cherry lips. 

He tried to focus now on what Daphné was saying, she gave surveys to the ones in the front to spread it to everyone. Eliott was glad he was sitting far from Lucas, so they wouldn’t get in contact as the students passed papers and pens around. He grabbed a pen and a survey, then giving the pack to the next person. It was hard to pay attention to the quiestions when he kept hearing Lucas and his friends whispering. Hearing his voice made things much harder. Not like he didn’t hear it before, but only in videos and insta stories as he was goofing around with friends. This was different. His heart skipped a beat when he heard him laughing. He had to get out as quick as possible. 

The meeting took much longer than he expected it to, Daphné was a really talkative person and Eliott didn’t had the guts to leave in the middle. He was sure that Imane would cut off his balls the next time she sees him, so he stayed, trying to close Lucas out of his head, but it was an impossible task, since he kept glancing at Eliott from time to time. For fucks sake, Lucas, focus on what your friend says! 

He made his way to the bus stop as fast as possible, hoping that he doesn’t have to wait too long. When he arrived, he realized how hungry he was, so he stepped to the vending machine that was standing there behind the stop like an angelic blessing for his growling stomach. He looked through all the snacks inside, lifting his right hand to his mouth, running his fingers over his lips as he tried to consider which one would be the best choice. After some minutes he heard footsteps too close to him to be just one of the passing by people. He looked to his side and almost got a heart attack when he saw Lucas standing there, having a soft smile on his face. 

“Oh, fuck! I didn’t notice you there.” he stuttered, much more calmly than he was actually feeling. “I just don’t know what to get.” he explained himself, feeling like a complete idiot that he couldn’t just buy something and leave. 

“The 24 one isn’t that bad.” Lucas said and fuck if his voice wasn’t the smoothest thing he ever heard in his life. Also that fucking scarf wrapped around him like three times, consuming half of his face. When Lucas cocked an eyebrow up, that’s when he noticed that he was just staring silently, so he quickly started to look for the coins in his pocket, but managing to drop half of them as he pulled his hand out. He cursed under his breath and leant down to pick them up, but halfway his head knocked into Lucas, both of them stumbling back in surprise, pressing their palms on their foreheads. 

“Woah, I’m sorry.” Eliott mumbled, being terrified of what the short boy is thinking about him now. He used to be so fucking confident as they were texting, why he had to be such a clumsy idiot right now? 

“I wasn’t expecting that for sure.” Lucas replied, a soft giggle leaving his mouth, making Eliott’s heart skip a beat. Yepp, he definitely has a crush on this boy.

“Let me buy you something as an apology.” he mumbled quickly as he knelt down to pick up the coins he dropped, this time without knocking his head to Lucas’. As he straightened up, he catched those ocean blue eyes, seeing something special in them, a playful spark maybe? He swallowed and turned to the machine.

“Sure, get me one of those chocolate bars.” he nodded his head towards the machine. Eliott just nodded and started putting coins into the little hole, pushing the right buttons, then doing it for the second time. He took a deep breath, taking the chocolates out and turning to the short boy, handing him one. 

“Here.” he said softly, trying not to drop it or do anything stupid again, making even a bigger fool of himself. 

“Thanks.” Lucas said smiling and took the chocolate. Eliott was expecting him to eat it there, but he instead pocketed it and puled out something from his jacket. When he noticed what it was, he stared at him in disbelief. “Wanna share a joint?” he asked smirking, raising his eyebrows in a challenge. The fuck is this supposed to be, Lucas? He screamed inside his head.

“Sure.” he shrugged, sounding much more uninterested than he actually was. They walked back to the bus stop, sitting down to the cold steel seats, not exactly next to each other because no homo and all. 

Lucas lit the joint, taking a long drag from it and then handing it to the tall boy while blowing out the smoke. Eliott was just a little starstruck by that, but he took the cigarette, placing between his lips, inhaling the stuff. He wasn’t able to smoke since a while now, considering that both Idriss and Sofiane made sure that he has no access to blunts at parties. 

“Are you new?” Lucas asked after long minutes of silent smoking. The weed was kicking in, making Eliott relaxed and much more calm. His heart wasn’t racing anymore and his thoughts were too fuzzy to overthink this situation, he was just enjoying it. 

“Yeah, I just arrived.” he responded, handing the joint back to the short boy. “Third year, Literature.” that wasn’t necessary to share, but he still wanted Lucas to know. They never talked about school that much for him to realize that his new guy is actually the Eli he is texting with since a month now. 

“Five months before Bac?” he raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that a bit weird?” he asked and every little part of Eliott wanted to scream, because Lucas is so fucking obsessed with the word “weird” that it’s ridiculous. 

“Are you trying to say that I’m weird?” he asked on a playful tone and he watched as the boy’s face falls, trying to explain himself, when a girl appeared from nowhere, jumping in front of him.

“Hey! How are you?” she asked with way too much enthusiasm than Eliott could endure. She was pretty though, long brown hair tied up, soft face, beautiful smile. Anything a teenager boy could wish for. 

“I’m fine. And you?” Lucas didn’t really sound interested as he was speaking, but the girl seemed to not notice that. What she noticed was the joint in the short boy’s hand, she beamed and her smile grew bigger. “Can I?” she asked and Lucas just shrugged, handing her the joint. She sat down right between the boys, taking a drag from the cigarette, focusing her vision only on Lucas, which started to annoy Eliott. 

“That meeting was nice, right?” she asked, trying to initiate a conversation between them. 

“Yeah, it was okay.” the short boy answered, taking back his joint from her.

“The survey was a great idea too.” she added and Eliott couldn’t hold himself back now, he had to say something. He leant forward, to be close to this girl that was getting on his nerves.

“I think it was weird.” he said, startling her with his sudden pesence, but she looked at him with that annoyingly bright smile. 

“How rude of me, I didn’t even introduce myself.” she said on a happy tone, reaching out her hand. “I’m Chloé.” she chimed and the tall boy had no choice but to accept her hand and shake it. 

“Eliott.” he said smiling a little, catching the glance of Lucas, who had all his attention on him instead of this pretty girl. He felt satisfied with that. “I’m Eliott.” he repeated, this time addressing it directly to Lucas who shot him a smile. 

“I’m Lucas.” 

Then an awkward silence fell on them, just passing around the joint quietly. When the bus arrived, Eliott got up and said goodbye to the two, mostly focusing on Lucas. He had a soft smile on his face which made the tall boy’s heart flutter in his chest. During the whole ride home he was smiling like a fucking idiot and not just because he was high. He was almost at his stop when his phone was buzzing. He pulled it out of his pocket and was surprised that it was a message from Lucas.

lucallemant Today was so busy Sorry for not texting you all day

srodulv No worries I also had a busy day

lucallemant Done with the first week though How was it? 

srodulv Not too bad I made some friends

lucallemant Shit, that’s awesome I’m happy for you 

Eliott couldn’t answer immediately, because he had to get off the bus and walk home. His phone was basically burning in his pocket, begging him to grab it and answer Lucas. As he walked into the flat, throwing his jacket on the hanger by the door, he went to his room to make sure Nagi is alright. He was rolled up in the corner of his terrarium, probably sleeping. After that he walked back to the living room, throwing himself on the couch and taking his phone into his hands. He got another message from Lucas.

lucallemant I actually met someone today

His heart skipped a beat and his hands started to sweat. What was he supposed to answer that? Yeah, I know, because that person is me? That is so fucking stupid. He should be honest with Lucas, they were always honest with each other. He knew about the bad mental state of the boy’s mother and Eliott hinted a couple times in their conversations that he also has some mental issues, not wording out that he’s bipolar, but he knew that Lucas put the pieces together. 

srodulv Oh yeah?  Already ditching me for someone else? 

lucallemant Hahaha I would never ditch my favorite stalker

srodulv You have multiple stalkers now?  What else I don’t know? 

lucallemant Oh shut up

srodulv ❤️

lucallemant I hate you 

srodulv No, you don’t 

lucallemant  You got some serious confidence, huh? 

srodulv I just know you  And I know that you can’t resist my intense charm 

lucallemant What charm? 

srodulv Ouch, my heart  That was mean, Lulu

lucallemant So, how is Nagini doing? 

Eliott smirked at his phone. This little shit often used stupid questions like this to avoid continuing a coversation. 

srodulv He’s sleeping

lucallemant  Good then 

srodulv So, you menationed that you met someone today

lucallemant Yeah, nothing special though He seems like a cool dude, but he might be weirder than you 

srodulv Is that even possible? 

His face was hurting from all the smiling, but he couldn’t stop. It was so sweet that Lucas was talking about him, while he had no idea that it was Eliott he met with. 

lucallemant Guess it is

srodulv Maybe you’re attracting weird people 

lucallemant  Thinking about my friends, that must be true

srodulv Still, I’m your favorite weirdo, right? 

lucallemant Of course  ❤️  You are weirdest weirdo I know 

srodulv That is so touching You are my favorite hedgehog too 

lucallemant  Like you have any other hedgehogs 

srodulv Oh, someone seems jealous I can reassure you that my heart only belongs to you  ❤️

lucallemant If only I could roll a joint with it... 

srodulv Every rejection is making my feelings stronger  Just so you know

lucallemant Shut up and go to sleep already

srodulv How mean We barely talked today and you want me to leave? 

lucallemant I just know that if you don’t go to sleep right now, we will be up until 3am talking about the global warming or shit 

srodulv That’s actually an interesting topic...

lucallemant Shower and bed, Eli Shower and bed

srodulv Only if you could join me

lucallemant I believe that you can fix that with some imagination 

Eliott had to take a deep breath after reading that last message. Lucas was always more flirty when he was drunk or high, he realized this just a few weeks ago. Lucas went out a party on saturday, just something organized by one of his friends to celebrate the last days of the holidays. He sent some messages while being at the party, but after it when he was totally high, he kept bombing Eliott with sweet, but for him probably really awkward text. He even asked for a dick pic. Eliott laughed his ass off that night and the next morning too when Lucas was apologizing rapidly. 

He sighed, trying to focus his attention back on his phone, but his mind started to wander off to his meeting with Lucas. He couldn’t get it out of his head how the boy looked at him in the common room. That was the very first time he saw Eliott, not knowing who he was and still there was some strange connection between them in that exact moment. He knew that Lucas felt it just like him. He quickly shook his head, looking back at his phone, typing a reply.

srodulv Good night then, Lulu  ❤️

lucallemant Good night  ❤️

Okay guys, hit me up with your opinions on this new story. Do you like it? There will be a lot of texts, lots of flirting and disaster Eliott! I was so fucking excited that I finished this chapter within a day, don’t blame me, I was waiting to write this story since days now. Bisou 

[tjp5]

“I’m throwing rocks tonight”

1/21/20 W: 1/22/20 

Tuesday’s are the whole reason that I started this program on a Wednesday, I bowl on Tuesdays. It seems like something for old men, but I have been bowling since I was eight, I enjoy it. Bowling is something that brings a little competition and honestly, having something that I am good at in my life is so enjoyable. I don’t say that to pat myself on the shoulder, its just an introspective into why a twenty something guy spends his Tuesday nights in a bowling alley thirty-six weeks out of the year. I also do it because it is a chance to get out with some friends from college, and friends I have made at the bowling alley. It is just something that is, I believe, good for me.

               Let me tell you, Tuesday was a rough morning for me, not only do my feet ache from all the jumping rope that I have been doing, my traps man, they are sore as hell. This is a testament to the way that I do things, there is really no slow starts or half assing anymore. I learned my lesson when half assing a summer program and then a car accident changed my life, when I look back, it changed my life for the better, it was something that I needed. Even when an event changes you for the better it could teach you a lesson, I just wish that it didn’t take me four to five years to realize what that lesson was. I do know my limits though, when I first realized I needed to quit half assed slow starts, I went too hard and would literally burn myself out in weeks. This is another lesson that I learned before my regimen last year. I started last year easily, going to the gym nightly, and spending my time there, eventually I realized that eating that late at night was killing any gains I was making, so I moved to mornings, that didn’t last long either. The only reason this didn’t work, was the fact that I was cutting workouts short so I wouldn’t be late to work. I changed this up, I split my workouts in two and worked out twice in one day. I won’t be doing that again. So, back to my traps, I haven’t done a barbell press in eh who knows, maybe ever? If I don’t know, I know you don’t, I go with a push of a high weight for reps, my traps are screaming, they’re screaming as I write this.

               Tuesday being an off day from the gym, and technically my Monday, I wasn’t as productive as I should have been at work. Not because I didn’t have stuff to do, but because I was feeling lethargic, and honestly, was not in the correct state of mind to deal with the BS that was coming through my email. Its okay though, luckily, I have plenty of time to do my work and write these blogs. The year is 2020, treat your mental health right. The only problem that I really have with Tuesdays in reality is the fact that I have trouble navigating my diet, my time to eat is short, I need to eat around one, and eat again around 3:30 – 5, with something light before 8:30, bowling starts at eight for me, so you see the problem I am sure. To make up for this, I ate at my normal time to start, went snack, meal, and snack.  It worked, it wasn’t great, but it worked.

               This brings me to my little rant, everyone criticizes diets, and how people go about things. I am sure that there are people reading this and griping about intermittent fasting, that’s honestly one of the biggest reasons I don’t have the comments turned on. I don’t care about your thoughts on this, its nothing against you, and your knowledge or lack of knowledge, on diets. I don’t care because I don’t need to question myself and my plan, my mental status is more important than your opinion right now, I’ll turn on comments later, then you can have your soapbox.  People say that you need to learn about nutrition, and I completely agree, you should step up and read into it, you should definitely NOT put garbage into your body. I do intermittent fasting not because I want to eat whatever the fuck I want and hope it works, I am doing intermittent fasting because I have a discipline issue. Me being me, if I don’t have a reason to not snack when I am hungry, I’m going to eat. It’s good for the way my life is structured right now, and not there for me to go and chow on big macs and donuts while still losing weight. Also, if you see someone working on themselves, and trying to make themselves better, and you feel the need to tell them what they are doing wrong, instead of acknowledging the fact that they are going out and trying to better their lives, check yourself. If someone asks your opinion, you can give it, if someone is doing something truly self-destructive, tell them, if someone did a diet, and gained their weight back, educate them. I am tired of seeing people getting mad at someone or give back handed comments to someone because they are not getting in shape the way that you think they should be. Some people have made great gains, and some people have fantastic metabolisms or got started at a young age. Good for you, I admire people who are in outstanding shape, especially those who put the work in every day. But speaking as someone who was a literally lard ass, your ideas, and your preaching do nothing for a lot of people and discourage them, it is tough to see both sides of the road and understand where someone is standing in their life.  

               As you read this, I hope you don’t take offense, I hope everything in your life is good and going in the right direction. I just had to get it out there that sometimes people need that hand on their shoulder, instead of the lesson. I am not saying that we should baby people, I am saying you should read the situation before you input what people are doing wrong. I am going to leave you with one of the best interviews of the last few months https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rovt9mF66iI, take care of your physical health, your mental health, and your financial health. Do what you can to make sure that none of the three get in the way of each other, to be successful in life you need balance, and that balance is different for everyone and for each person, balance can mean something different at different times of their life. Find out what works for you, but make sure to take care of yourself.

  Food: First meal: Turkey smash burgers, vegetables, and left-over tomato thing I made last night. Snack of a bagel, banana and pretzel stick. Second Meal: Beef smash burgers with cheese, and broccoli. Snack: bare bar, and cashews.

Also, proud moments for me, I wanted a heavy carb with my first meal yesterday, but I skipped over it because the corn that I had would be enough of a carb or carb like substance. Also, for snack two I was at a convenient store and skipped the candy and the potato chips. Cashews were not ideal, but they were better than the alternative.

 I bowled good, I played battlefield for a little bit, did well in that. Yesterday was a good day. Speaking of good days, enjoy Ice cube on Kimmel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zi_k7H43Y-M.

[lostinreality014]

You Look Perfect Tonight - Part III

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3

Author’s Notes: This part took me a little bit longer to write than I’d expected. If it weren’t for the fact that I had the final scene already cemented in my head, I probably would have left Niall’s and Evie’s wedding as a two part piece. This was not an easy part to write and it feels a bit choppy and weak compared to the first two parts, but I’m proud of myself for taking on the challenge. And hopefully you all like it.

Thank you to @imagine-that-one-thing for being my beta once again. Your suggestions and encouragement are very much appreciated. :)

Also Note: this piece is also posted on my Wattpad account.

Photo credits in Banner: Bride & Groom at table;  Reception Hall;  Bride & Groom send off

Any pieces I post here are mine and all rights are reserved. I do not give permission for my work to be posted on any other platform. Unless I explicitly state that I have posted one of my works on another platform, please let me know immediately if you see my writing anywhere other than Tumblr. Thank you.

The Reception

A little over a half hour after our ceremony had ended, we were wrapping up our bride and groom photos and making our way up to the house for the reception. We had made sure to do photos with our bridal party and immediate family first so they would have time to make their way up to the reception hall and find their seats before we were announced.

“Hungry are you?” I smirked as we reached the top of the staircase. Not that I could blame him. I was starving too. I hadn’t eaten much of anything since our brunch, and I could not wait to sit down and eat a full meal.

“I’m always hungry. This isn’t news.” he sassed, poking me in the rib. I squealed and swatted his hand away. “And your stomach is one to talk.”

“My growl was not nearly as loud as yours.” We looked at each other before snorting and dissolving into a fit of giggles.

“After you.” Shane said with a smile as he pulled open the door for us. He’d been filming from up at the top of the staircase.

“Thank you.” we said together.

“Down the corridor and to your left.” Shane said with a chuckle when we paused, trying to remember where our reception room was located. The Estate was absolutely massive. Sure we’d been staying on the grounds for the past two days leading up to today, but the pair of us were so wrapped up in last minute wedding details we hadn’t really had too much of a chance to explore like our guests had.

“That obvious?” Niall asked as we followed alongside him.

“Just a little.” He winked. “But not the first time someone has gotten turned around I’m sure.”

“No, probably not.” I agreed with a smile. As we made our way down the corridor, the sounds of music began filtering out from one of the rooms on our left. We saw Lucy peek out around the door, smiling at us before disappearing back into the hall to let Bressie know we were ready to be introduced.

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen.” We heard the Bressie say. “Welcome to Powerscourt Estate and thank you for joining Nail and Evie on their special day. I’d introduce myself, but you all already know me so we’ll skip over awkward DJ introductions.” Niall and I giggled along with our guests. We’d known Bressie was the perfect person to DJ our wedding reception. He knew our musical tastes so well and we knew he’d be able to seamlessly float between providing excellent music entertainment as well as mingling and visiting with everyone.

“Now if you’ll please join me in welcoming the newlyweds, Mr. and Mrs. Horan!” We stepped through the doors to a wide variety of whistles, cheers and applause. Smiling and giggling as we made our way up to the table where our bridal party was already seated.

It was a little over an hour later when most of us were finishing up our main dinner course. Niall and I had been chatting with Lou, Denise, Greg, and Willie since finishing our meals about ten minutes ago. As glad as I was we’d finally been able to sit down and enjoy a meal together, I also couldn’t wait until we got to visit with everyone. I was especially excited to visit with Harry, Liam, and Louis, even if it was just for a few minutes. I hadn’t seen them in months, which was the norm now, but I missed them terribly. Along with Greg, they were my big brothers and I missed them as much as I missed Niall when we went for long periods of time without seeing each other.

“Ready to get this party going?” Bessie asked with a smirk after one of the waiters cleared our plates.

“You bet.” Niall said, giving my hand a squeeze. As nervous has he’s been about our first dance as husband and wife, I also know he’s really excited about it. We didn’t have an elaborately choreographed dance planned like we’d other brides and grooms do, but we’d been working on our simple dancing skills over the last few months.

“I’ll go get myself set up for the rest of the evening and then we’ll do the speeches before I announce your first dance.”

“Sounds perfect.” I said with a smile, reaching out and giving his hand a squeeze. He returned the squeeze before him and Niall gave each other a fist bump.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look today?” Niall said softly in my ear as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

“Only about a dozen times since we were announced as husband and wife. And I seem to remember ‘stunning’ as well.”

“You’re definitely stunning.” he smiled, kissing my forehead. “I love you.” he whispered resting his forehead against mine.

“I love you too. Husband.” He couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his lips or the small shiver it sent through his body.

“That’ll take a while to get used to.”

“Eh.” I shrugged with a smirk just to give him a hard time. “But I love the way it sounds.” I smiled at him before pecking a kiss to his nose.

“Me too. Wife.” It was my turn to shiver at the new moniker.

“If I could have everyone’s attention. Before Niall and Evie share their first dance as husband and wife, there are a couple of people who would like to share a few words with the happy couple. I believe Greg is up first.” Bressie passed him the extra wireless mic as he stood up from his chair.

“I’ve known for many years now that Niall and Evie would end up married. They had this instantaneous bond and friendship that you don’t see often from the moment they met. I’ll admit I was a little bit jealous of that and boy did I try hard to become their third musketeer. Much to their dismay, mind you.” The two of us giggled and I could see mum and his parents nodding knowingly in agreement out of the corner of my eye. “I eventually gave up and let them be,” Niall squeezed my hand when Greg looked over and gave him a warm smile. I scooted my chair closer to him so I could loop my free arm through his. Something told me this was going to be a bit emotional for the two of them since they’ve rebuilt their relationship over the last couple of years.

“Now, I don’t want to get too heavy on my little brother’s wedding day, but the two of us, we’ve been through some tough times over the years, and we’ve recently reconnected and rebuilt our relationship. I tell you that, to say this. It’s been really special to see how Niall’s and Evie’s relationship has grown and developed since Evie and Naomi moved in across the street from us all those years ago. And as odd as this may sound, seeing how Niall and Evie have overcome their own struggles and differences as their relationship has grown has been quite inspirational. They have this rare ability both individually and as a couple to make you think about the relationship you have with the people in your life. I’m willing to bet they have no idea they do that.” Niall and I chuckled softly along with our guests, shaking our heads no, while sniffling and trying to fight back tears. Niall was doing a much better job than me at the moment.

“My wife has taught me what it is to love and be loved, to accept and be accepted over the years we’ve known each other. And she’s taught me a lot about resolving conflict. But Niall and Evie, again I’m sure, without being aware of it, they’ve taught me from afar about resolving conflict between friends. Niall, you might be my baby brother, but you’re also my best friend. And I lost sight of that along the way. There is no amount of gratitude large enough to give for what you and Evie have given back to me, and given back to us.” Niall squeezed my hand again and I can tell by his jaw flexing that he’s pretty close to losing his battle with not shedding tears.

“Evie, you are the little sister I secretly wanted but never would have admitted to anyone when we were younger. Though I think mum knew,” I choked out a soft laugh and glanced at Maura. She was smiling fondly, blinking back tears. “And I know I drove you to your wits end many a time growing up, but I was just acting as any big brother would. You are everything I could have ever hoped for Niall in a best friend and life partner. He’s always been happiest on stage or in the studio with a guitar in hand. But you, you bring out a happiness in him that no one else ever has. It was like the two of you were meant to be from day one because you fit into our life, especially Niall’s, so perfectly and so effortlessly. And you gave him a run for his money like nobody else ever could. You still do.” Niall snorted and I smacked his chest with the back of my hand. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze, his way of saying ‘I love you’ without vocalizing it.

“That’s how I knew you two would be married one day. And now that you are, I can finally call you my little sister and say welcome to the family, not that you weren’t already a part of it.” I hiccuped softly and dabbed under my eyes with my napkin as best I could with my arm still looped through Niall’s arm and mouthed a thank you to Greg. Niall turned his head slightly and dropped a kiss to my temple.

“Niall, I am so proud of you and the man you’ve become. I know it hasn’t always the easiest between us, but there was never a moment where I wasn’t proud of you and proud of everything that you’ve accomplished. I’m so grateful that our son has an incredible uncle and role model to look up to and turn to if he ever needs someone other than mum and dad. And I’m so happy the world brought you and Evie together.” I saw a tear escape from the corner of his eyes and leaned in to kiss the wet spot on his cheek. I knew how grateful and happy he was that he and Greg had repaired their relationship. Niall is an incredibly family orientated person, and even though he never let it show and rarely talked about it with anyone other than me, it was really hard on him when their relationship had been strained. Especially when Theo wanted to spend time with him and vice versa.

“Niall and Evie, congratulations to you on your special day. I wish you both a lifetime of love and happiness. To Niall and Evie.” There was an echo of “to Niall and Evie” around the hall as everyone lifted their glasses. Greg handed the microphone to Denise.

“As Matron of Honor, I know my speech would be up next. With the exception of a couple of small points, Greg has said everything I would have said, and said it beautifully. So I wanted to pass my speech time on to Lou.”

“Oh lord.” Niall muttered as he sunk in his chair a little bit. I giggled softly and squeezed his hand.

“I heard that, Irish.” Lou said with a pointed look at him after she’d taken the microphone from Denise. “In all fairness, he has a right to be nervous. After all, I spent five years on the road with him and the boys. I know things,” Lou said with a wide, mischievous smile.

“Spill it!” We heard Louis call from a couple tables away. I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped as he groaned again and glared at Louis.

“As much as I would love to, you know I wouldn’t do that to you on your wedding day. That’s for another get together at another time.”

“Thanks, Louise. I appreciate it.” Niall said with a sarcastic smirk.

“You see what I put up with for five years from this one?” Everyone in the hall laughed fondly. “This isn’t going to be too terribly long as I didn’t have much time to prepare.” Lou said, winking at Denise.

“I’m sorry. But it felt right.” She pouted playfully, her cheeks flushing slightly.

“Just givin ya a hard time, love. And it means a lot that you asked if I wanted to say something in your place.” Niall reached across me to give Denise’s hand a gentle squeeze and mouthing a thank you. Denise smiled, returning the gentle squeeze before releasing his hand.

“Joking and banter aside, I’m honored that Evie asked me to stand by her side today as she married the love of her life. I met Evie for the first time when she flew out to visit Niall on tour just after the group hit it big. Like most people here, I knew they were meant to be. If I’m honest, I thought they were already together. So you can imagine my shock when I found out they were just ‘best friends,’” she said using air quotations around ‘best friends.’ We both rolled our eyes, our faces flushing a light shade of pink. She threw us a smirk before continuing.

“These two give each other a run for their own money. It’s exciting to see them challenge each other in all the ways they do now, but you should have seen them back when they were in their teens and trying to out do one another. But it wasn’t an out do one another in your typical competition fashion. They were always trying to one up each other to see who would be the next to cross off another accomplishment on their list and add another one in it’s place. To them, it was never about who crossed off the most items on their list. It was about striving to challenge themselves to be the best they could be at their own individual craft. I’m convinced it’s why they’re as successful as they are today in all aspects of their lives,” she threw a small smirk in our direction, “And that same dynamic gave us a front row seat to watching them dance around their feelings for one another before navigating the waters of going from best friends to romantic partners. It’s been as frustrating as it has magical. But infinitely more magical.”

“So much for not roastin me.” Niall muttered with a smirk. I smacked his chest again and he snickered.

“Hush you,” Lou said, returning the smirk. “What Niall and Evie have truly is magical. They have a once in a life time love that doesn’t come around very often. It’s a love that was born in childhood and a love that was nurtured over time to become what it is today. It’s a love that we can all learn from, and a love that we all hope to find ourselves one day if we haven’t found it already. Niall and Evie, as much as I tease you both, it’s been a true honor to be apart of your lives and to be a small part in your own personal fairytale. You both became part of my family years ago, and I’m so proud of who you’ve both become. As Greg said, I’m so grateful my daughter has her Auntie Evie and Uncle Niall to look up to and to turn to if I can’t be there for her,” she paused for a brief moment. “Congratulations to you both. I wish you nothing but a lifetime of love and happiness. To Niall and Evie.” Echoes of the same sentiment were heard again as the pair of us giggled wetly and sniffled.

“Do we have a mop nearby?” Bressie asked when Lou turned to hand him the spare mic. “Don’t want our two lovebirds slipping on the dance floor during their first dance.” The whole hall burst out into laughter with sniffles sprinkled in here and there. I glanced back at Bressie, smirking at him for the joke. He chuckled and returned the smirk before silently asking if we were ready for our first dance. I nodded with a smile.

“Everyone have your cameras ready? This might be the one time we get to capture Niall’s dancing skills on film. For future blackmailing purposes of course.”

“I know where you live, Breslin,” Niall said, turning in his chair and throwing a playful glare at one of his best mates. After the laughter had died down, the opening notes of Jason Mraz’s I Won’t Give Up quickly filled the room with a contrasting calmness to the laughter that had just rung out.

“May I have this dance?” Niall asked softly after pushing his chair back from the table and standing up, holding out his hand to me.

“You may,” I smiled up at him. He lead me out onto the dance floor and once again, the world around us dissolved. I’ll never forget the first time I heard this song. A couple weeks before I’d heard it, we’d had one of our rare blow out arguments. It was probably one of our worst ones even to this day. I can’t speak for Niall, but at the time, I wasn’t sure we would come back from it.

As soon as I got home the day I heard this song, I scoured YouTube for an audio recording and promptly texted Niall with the link to the video. I didn’t say anything. Just sent the link with the title of the song. I didn’t hear from him for several days, which I’d expected because he’d been on tour down in Australia at the time. But when showed up at my flat the day after returning to London, looking like an absolute wreck, that was a turning point for us. In a way, this song saved our relationship both platonically and romantically.

“You know I broke down in that little cafe the first time I heard this song?” I whispered just loud enough for him to hear me.

“I didn’t know that,” he replied, pinning his forehead to mine.

“Full on broke down. Barista thought I’d just lost my dog or something equally as sad.” he smiled softly.

“Even though we didn’t talk til I got back, I’m glad you sent it to me when you did.”

“Yeah?” he nodded.

“This song gave us our new beginning.” he smiled.

“Yes it did,” I whispered just as the first chorus started. We sang along, our eyes locked on one another.

I won’t give up on us Even if the skies get rough I’m giving you all my love I’m still looking up

And when you’re needing your space To do some navigating I’ll be here patiently waiting To see what you find

We heard Bressie invite our guests to join us as the first chorus started, but I don’t think either of us heard him clearly. We were too wrapped up in each other, singing the lyrics to the song that had brought us back together as best friends and eventually led us here.

So easy is our life What’s mine is yours and yours mine Hardly do we ever fight, We’d rather be kind

The tears were silently falling down my cheeks again as we sang one of the most important verses of the song to each other. At some point during the song, we’d stopped dancing, singing the rest of the song to each other while others danced around us. As the last notes faded out, he reached up to cradle my face gently, kissing me just as tenderly as he had in the gazebo a few short hours ago.

“I love you.” He whispered, another tear betraying him.

“I love you, too.” I replied, gently brushing the tear from his cheek. “Enough with all the soppy. Let’s get this party goin,” I smiled up at him. He snorted out a laugh, but nodded in agreement.

“Crank it up Bres!” Niall called out from the dance floor. I threw my head back and laughed as Niall groaned when it was What Makes You Beautiful that was cranked up.

“You knew that was gonna happen at some point,” I said still giggling.

“Did he really need to do it so soon?” He grumbled with a playful smile.

“Of course he did.” I smirked.

Once Bressie cranked up the tunes following our first dance, things really got going. We shared our time with friends on the dance floor and mingling with those who were watching from their tables or standing off to the side of the dance floor. We took a short break from dancing for cutting the cake and enjoying dessert before things got going again. After sharing a dance each with Lux and Theo as promised, I was in desperate need of water. I made way to the bar and just as I asked for a bottled water, I felt a gentle hand on my arm.

“Hey you!” I smiled. “Thanks for not outshining me on my wedding day.” I smirked.

“I do what I can,” he said non-chalantly.

“You’re a menace, Styles.”

“Yeah, but you wouldn’t have me any other way,” he smirked and pecked a kiss to my cheek before wrapping me up in a hug.

“No, I wouldn’t.” I smiled again as he loosened his arms and stepped back just slightly.

“You really do look stunning, love. And I’m truly very happy for you both.”

“You make me cry I’ll punch you.” He barked out a laugh. “But thank you. And thank you for being here. I know your schedule hasn’t been easy lately.”

“Do you really think I’d miss seeing my two best friends get married?”

“Of course not. But I would have understood if you couldn’t have made it.”

“Not a chance that was gonna happen, love. The pair of you never would have forgiven me if I hadn’t made it.”

“Not true,” I exclaimed in mock offense, smacking his arm lightly as Liam and Louis walked up to join us.

“Little violent for such a happy day don’t you think?” Louis teased.

“He probably deserved it.” Liam smirked.

“Oi! First time in months we’ve seen each other and you gang up on me?”

“Shouldn’t be new, mate.” Louis grinned, that mischievous sparkle in his eyes.

“Well, I can see when I’m not wanted,” Harry pouted playfully. “I think I’ll go have a dance or two with Lux. At least I know she appreciates me.” I rolled my eyes fondly at him. “Catch you later, yeah?” he asked, pecking another kiss to my cheek.

“I’d better. You leave before I get a chance to see you at least one more time, that I won’t forgive you for.” It was Harry’s turn to roll his eyes. I laughed and shoved him in the direction of the dance floor.

“Alright, bring it in.” Louis said pulling me into him and yanking on Liam’s arm to pull him in on the group hug.

“Been too long since we’ve had a group hug.” Liam said, giving my waist a gentle squeeze.

“Far too long. You two alright? Been doing okay?” I asked as I glanced at the bar tender. She nodded with a smile before pulling out a bottled water and handing it to me.

“Doin really well,” Louis said. “The calm before the next storm.”

“And Freddie? How’s he doing?”

“Doing really well. El and I will be headed back to LA in a couple days. He’ll be spending a couple weeks with us before school starts back. He’s already so excited about the new school year.”

“That’s wonderful. I’m so glad he’s doing well. I miss the little guy.”

“He misses you too. Asked about you the other day actually.”

“Aww.” I pouted.

“Any time you’re in LA, give me a call. Briana is really lovely about us taking him for a couple hours if we want a quick visit, especially if any of my brothers or sisters are in town.”

“We’ll keep that in mind. And you,” I said looking up to Liam.

“Oh, sorry to interrupt, but I’m being given a look,” Louis said. Liam and I looked in the direction he was and saw Lottie and Eleanor looking at him from across the room with raised eyebrows.

“Better go see what’s up.” I smiled. “See you before we leave, yeah?” I asked.

“Of course.” He gave me a quick hug and kiss on the cheek before hurrying off to see what the raised eyebrows at him were for.

“So, how are you? Doing alright?”

“Doin really well. Enjoying some down time before the next project starts.”

“Good. You work too hard sometimes. All of you do.” He rolled his eyes playfully, which earned him a light shove to the chest. “How’s Bear doing? Can’t believe how big he’s getting.”

“I know. It’s mad,” he said shaking his head with a chuckle. “He’s doing really well. Little chatterbox that one. Takes after his mum.” he smiled fondly. “She’s really sorry they couldn’t make it by the way.”

“No worries. Scheduling is not always on our side. And it’s not like I can’t pop over and visit you guys for a quick visit.”

“True. You look stunning, by the way. Don’t think I’ve seen the two of you any happier.”

“Oh stop,” I smiled, feeling my cheeks flush. “But thank you. We have a lot to be happy about.”

“I think this is most I’ve ever seen him cry.” he smirked, his eyes twinkling.

“Me too. And I’ve known him since we were four,” he chuckled and pulled me into a hug.

“I’m so happy for you two. And happy I could be a part of your special day.”

“I’m happy you could be here too. I’ve miss you. All of you.”

“We miss you too.”

I’m not really sure what time it was when the things started to slow down. I just know that the sun was halfway set, casting a beautiful, warm glow in the reception hall. And I knew that meant our send off would be approaching shortly.

But not before Niall and I shared one last dance in the hall, just the two of us. It wasn’t something we’d initially considered, but the more we thought about it, the more we liked the idea of having a last dance just the two of us so we could soak in the last minutes of our wedding day.

“It’s about that time for the newly weds to head off and begin their next adventure.” Bressie said lowering the volume on the music. “If everyone could please make their way out to the front of the Estate, we’ll send Niall and Evie off after they’ve shared one last dance together.”

We made our way up to the doors of the reception hall so we could have a chance to say our see you laters (good bye sounds too final) since we wouldn’t have much time to do that during our actual send off.

“May I have one more dance, my love?” Niall asked after the last of our guests had left the hall.

“Yes you may,” I smiled as I took his hand.

“Everything is set up. It should start playing in about a minute or so.” Bressie said with a smile.

“Thanks, mate.” Niall said as they shook hands and hugged each other. “And thank you for being our Emcee for the evening.”

“Truly honored you asked. And very happy for you both. Been a long time coming,” Bressie smirked.

“Alright, we get it.” I rolled my eyes, smiling playfully up at him.

“Never gonna live it down.” He dropped a kiss to the top of my head. “Go on. Go enjoy one more dance before we send you off.” He shook Niall’s hand one more time before walking out and closing the door behind him.

Just as Niall pulled me into him after leading us to the middle of the dance floor and dropping a kiss to my forehead, the opening notes to the one song I’d been waiting to hear all night filled the room.

“You’re too much, Niall Horan,” I whispered, tears welling up in my eyes. I should have known he’d save this song for our final dance of the evening when we’d decided on I Won’t Give Up for our first dance song. And I definitely should have known when he asked me if I trusted him enough to let him choose the last song we’d dance to.

“Can’t imagine our last dance of the evening to any other song.” he smiled.

“I love you.” I whispered. “Thank you for being my partner in crime.”

“Love you too, darlin. I should be thanking you,” He smiled before kissing my nose and singing along softly.

As we swayed gently in the middle of the dance floor with the sun behind us, slowly sinking behind the mountains, I couldn’t help but think about how this was one of the most incredible days of my life. Niall and I became husband and wife surrounded by those closest to us, and we’d managed to pull it off without the media ever getting wind of it. We’d had our first dance as husband and wife to the song that saved our relationship. I’d walked down the aisle to the song that helped us take a huge step in our relationship. And now, we were ending our evening with one of the most romantic songs that described our relationship to a tee. Today truly was everything I could have hoped for. Everything we could have hoped for. And I couldn’t wait to start the newest chapter of my life with my partner in crime.

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark With you between my arms Barefoot on the grass Listening to our favourite song When I saw you in that dress Looking so beautiful I don't deserve this Darling, you look perfect tonight

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark With you between my arms Barefoot on the grass Listening to our favourite song I have faith in what I see Now I know I have met an angel in person…

“And she looks perfect, I don't deserve this, you look perfect tonight.” Niall sang softly. Several tears slid down my cheeks as I tilted my chin just enough to connect our lips, kissing him softly as the final notes of Ed’s song faded and the last bit of sun sank beyond the horizon.

[wannasoftimagine]

imagine park woojin as your classmate

project partners to dating partners :’)

(( AS REQUESTED // omg since ure a woojin stan can i get a request where y/n and woojin study in the same course after his wanna one activities (before he debuts in brand new music) and got closer after a project andddd you can write whatever after that LMAO :^) THANK YOU ))

okay so ure a fan of wanna one

who isnt tbh

and lucky u bc it turns out tht ure going to college w the one and only park woojin!!!!!!! (srsly tho what r the chances)

u forgot tht woojins age is kinda similar to urs bc he always acts like a tough guy on stage or a little kid off stage and u forget that hes a student like u

anyways

its a little weird to get used to seeing him in person after all the pictures n videos uve seen of him online

like?? hes a Real Person??? what a wild idea

and even tho ure both in the same college course, u try to keep ur distance

as much as ud like to befriend him, hes still an idol (even tho he hasnt debuted w brand new yet) and its rlly hard for u to start up a conversation w someone famous

also ure lowkey worried tht its going to ruin how much u admire him, and that actually talking to him will destroy how highly u view him

little do u kno hes seen u around campus before n thinks ure pretty cute

;))

okay but anyways

u make sure to stay out of his way bc the last thing u want is to bother him by asking for a signature or picture or smthn

u try and keep a minimum of like 10 yds between u at all times

(bc itd be even more embarrassing if u tripped right in front of him and that was the first thing he noticed abt u)

but lucky for u, life doesnt care what u have planned

bc its only a month into the semester and u already have a huge project assigned

of course, it’s a partner project

it might be okay if u were able to choose ur partners, but ur teacher insisted on trying to help everyone “bond w their classmates” so its all completely random

unfortunately for u, u get sick the day that ur teacher assigns partners

so u have no idea who ure paired up with

ure stuck asking some of ur classmates, but none of them rlly remember

everyone was a bit busy stressing out over their own partners tbh

and u keep asking around a bit, but u only know so many ppl in the class so eventually u kinda give up and hope ur partner isnt too bad

u settle on focusing on ur other classes, studying for future exams and reviewing ur notes in the library

even tho ure not sick anymore, u still feel a bit drowsy from all of the different medications u took and all of the work u were trying to catch up on

so. all excuses aside u fall asleep

prob not the best plan esp since some of ur things are balancing on the edge of ur desk

but the heart wants what the heart wants, and it rlly wants to sleep

ure having a rlly weird dream abt pirate monkeys when ure jolted awake by someone bumping into ur side

u look up to see someone sprinting away from u and like okay. thts a little weird

u try not to think abt it too much bc ure still kinda sleepy

so u settle on gathering ur things so u can head back to ur dorm and decide whether or not u want to study, sleep more, or find something to eat

as u collect everything, u notice a little post it note that hadnt been there before

in messy handwriting, it says “i didnt want to wake u but im ur partner for the partner project. im woojin and u can text me at [xxx-xxx-xxxx] whenever u want to meet up i hope u sleep well”

u realize that ur partner is prob the one u saw sprinting away from u earlier after he accidentally bumped into u lol

somehow u momentarily forget that ur partner is THE park woojin and ure like aw cool this woojin guy seems nice

then ure like WAIT A SECOND

ure highkey in shock and keep pinching urself to make sure its real

so u end up taking the rest of ur stuff back to ur room and wondering how u should text him

eventually u decide on a simple greeting and ur name, and u ask him when hes free

u have to send the text and then throw ur phone onto the floor bc U JUST TEXTED PARK WOOJIN ABT MEETING IN PERSON. GOD BLESS

ure suddenly super grateful abt every decision tht led u to this moment

anyways

ur phone buzzes on the floor so u scramble to pick it up

only to realize tht its a text from ur mom asking how ure doing

u text her back and tell her not to worry, then attempt to clean ur room a little instead of waiting for woojin to text u back

u just finish reorganizing ur closet when he texts u

its a quick text, smthn along the lines of “im free tmrw afternoon, do u want to meet by the cafeteria” so u agree quickly and hope u dont seem too desperate

and u KNOW its not a date

u guys havent even spoken to each other before so???

but ure still rlly nervous bc its WOOJIN and u want to impress him, even if ure just going to spend most of ur time talking abt boring coursework

u both settle on a time to meet and u pretend not to freak out

anyways skip to the next afternoon

u get there a bit early but ?? hes there already ??? ldsjks

and he looks Really Cute like hes wearing a sweater and ripped jeans and looking like complete boyfriend material wow ure p sure u can feel ur heart stop in ur chest

hes a bit awkward but uve heard abt how shy he is so u try not to take it personally

as soon as he sees u he blurts out tht u look nice and that is not helping the way tht this feels like a date

u guys end up moving to a bench in the shade bc its rlly nice out and this way ure able to talk freely without worrying abt being too loud

he explains the project a little, and u guys go back and forth offering up ideas

he always nods super enthusiastically whenever u suggest smthn and its honestly the cutest thing uve ever seen

its so weird for u to remember that this is the same guy uve seen videos of online bc what the heck

anyways

neither of u are extreme geniuses in the class, but ure both still pretty smart

ure pleased to find tht u guys complement each other well, w different areas of interest inside the same field

it helps ur project run a lot smoother than u thought it would, so u guys split up the work and agree to do as much as u can before u meet up again

ur conversations are still a bit stilted bc ure both still shy w each other, but overall u seem to get along well so ure happy

u text each other every once in awhile to talk abt the project or ask questions

u meet up a few more times in the next couple weeks but its all work and no business

still, over time u find urselves joking around with each other a little more, teasing each other and talking abt urselves instead of the project

of course, all things must come to an end

so all too soon, the day u submit the final project arrives

and ure a little worried tht woojin is going to disappear from ur life again

bc maybe he’s only been this nice to u bc hes just a sweet guy, but as soon as the project ends he wont care abt talking to u anymore

after all, its not like u guys meet up for meals or to hang out that often - even when ure just relaxing w each other, theres always some part of ur convo tht centers around the class

so as ure freaking out over this

he texts u asking if u want to come over to his dorm while he submits it

and mb u guys can just hang out afterwards?

obviously u agree and u cant stop smiling

when u show up at his dorm, hes wearing sweatpants and a tshirt and he looks adorable as heck when he invites u in

u guys sit on his bed as he loads all the stuff on his laptop and u try not to be hyperaware of the space between u two

woojins also screaming internally but somehow u dont notice the way he keeps staring at u out of the corner of his eye

u click the “submit” button together and HIS HANDS ARE SO GENTLE also theyre shaking a little???? huh

u assume its just bc hes Extra Nervous for the project but honestly? no hes just never been this close to u and hes freaking out

but anyways

u decide to go out to eat off campus afterwards to celebrate being done

a lot of the places have long waits or are too expensive so u just eat at a chikfila

its rlly casual but its fun and u guys argue abt whether chicken nuggets or chicken sandwiches r better and u cant help but think abt how much fun ure having w hiim

u end up blurting it out to him on accident and ure v v embarrassed

but he laughs and admits tht he rlly likes spending time w u too

so u promise each other to keep hanging out afterwards

it gets to the point where weeks later, ure still texting each other to complain abt classes or ask abt the other persons day

it still feels like a dream tbh

but u guys enjoy each others company whenever u can

most of the time u end up meeting each other at the cafeteria or studying together in the library, but u both just rlly like spending time w the other person

this routine continues for awhile and its prob the best part of ur life

but at one point ure trying to sneak up on woojin and surprise him when u see him talking to himself

as u creep forward, u realize tht hes actually on the phone, and he looks kinda stressed

it feels a bit invasive so ure looking around trying to find a place to go while he finishes up his phone call

but then u hear him say ur name so. consider u INTERESTED

and he keeps getting flustered and shutting down anything tht the other person says which is weird bc hes p shy, but hes never usually tht adamant and blushy abt something

eventually he tucks his phone away and lets out a Huge sigh so ure like,, hey u good

and he laughs it off but u can tell hes a little antsy, so u decide to tell him tht u overheard a little bit of him on the phone, and u ask him what it was about

he literally turns into a tomato its so funny u wish u had recorded it

but hes like “HOW MUCH DID U HEAR”

even tho u tell him u didnt hear much, he refuses to believe u and he spends the next few minutes pouting

u keep trying to get him to talk to u normally, but he refuses

finally he ends up grumbling smthn and ure like ???

and after a few half hearted efforts to repeat himself hes like “just tell me u dont like me back”

and. WHAT.

he pouts again and its so sos sosososoos o so cute u think ure going to combust honestly

“i kno u heard me tell him tht i like u!!!! just tell me u dont feel the same and leave me alone to cry”

and u have to reassure him tht u definitely didnt hear that BUT ALSO what???

n hes literally mortified when he realizes ure serious

but he has this rlly cute determined expression like “ok well now u kno i like u!!!!! y/n, please go out w me???”

n its like OF COURSE and u tell him tht u like him too and he keeps smiling and acting shy

honestly u both just make each other super happy

when u start dating, its not too diff from when u were friends, except now ure more affectionate w each other

both physically and with ur words

he loves hyping u up, and u feel the same

esp when he starts practicing more to debut w the rest of the bnm boys

u support the heck out of each other and can always count on the other person to be there for u when u need it the most

honestly its super soft and ure totally proud to be a lowkey campus couple even tho u have to keep ur relationship on the down low bc of dispatch

still u both care for each other a lot and u wouldnt trade what u have for the world

[luovita]

Start your day with a positive, powerful approach, meditate and appreciate who you are

Lifestyle Idea: Did you know that how you

start in the morning actually

sets the mood of your entire day?

    Just try to imagine waking up so late, snoozing your alarm to the nth time, skipping your breakfast and rushing yourself to work. Is it like chaos? Let me help you change that lifestyle habit and start planning. It takes practice but it will lead you to success. Make a habit, a daily routine that will bring positive outcome. This routine will help you reduce stress, enhance focus and improve productivity. You have the power to create the day you wish it to be, or even create an ideal lifestyle. Opportunity comes everyday but without a starting your day right, it can already influence your chance of having a happy day.     Now, we listed a few tips on how you can start your day right which in time can be your daily routine. We bet on this list as we are confident that these tips would not bring you any trouble.   1. Be grateful and stay away from negativity Feel grateful for the day ahead, feel that good things are coming, order the day you want it to be, you put the time and energy into it, this energy will come to you, you're creating something new, a new environment. Take all the negativity away. It will allow you to open your mind to yourself and be grateful. Don’t let fear enter your thoughts. You are strong enough to overcome your fears and face the challenges that the world throws at you.   2. No gadgets Don't let yourself fall into the common trap of starting your day by grabbing your phone as you wake up. For some people like those who are making money online, there is a big chance they are guilty of this routine.  Don't allow yourself to do the first thing you usually do, emailing, messaging, and getting involved with social media. It isn't the most positive start that you could have. A good alternative would be, by challenging yourself when you wake up, to meditate and think about how your day would be, for at least half an hour or more on what could be different and how you could go about creating changes to your normal life.   3. Fix your bed Did you know that a lot of successful people starts their day in making their own bed in the morning? It is setting a good habit of organizing your stuff which can already set a good mood before you even get out of your room and eat breakfast.   4. Do not skip your breakfast It is the most important meal of the day. A healthy breakfast is essential to boost your energy and maintain the same level even after hours.   5. Well rested body If you wish waking up with full energy, one must have a good sleep at night. A quality sleep is beneficial to the brain and also plays a vital role in your physical well-being. As much as possible, take a 6-8 hrs of uninterrupted sleep.  

Next Step - Be Good to Yourself

    It is not new to everyone that each of us has the potential to become the most critical judge of who we are, what we do and what we can't do. We often feel disappointed in our own actions, in how we look and act in front of other people. I myself feel so conscious about how people would perceive me. The question is, how do we make ourselves less of this. The aim is being aware of this and shift, if we’re gonna be the biggest bully of ourselves that’s only going to work against our happiness. It’s a valuable skill if you start to notice when you do speak unkindly about yourself because being aware of this in the first place is going to be your fist task. It will probably be a habit and that will require practice. But notice when you think something about yourself it puts you on a positive or negative vibration, brings you down or cheers you up. This will be one of the most important steps of helping you improve your behavior, you know, every thought you have is an affirmation, subconsciously either lifting you up or knocking you down, so it’s wise to pay close attention about your thoughts you’re repeating over and over about yourself or your surroundings. What's important now is to start  thinking the opposite. For example if you’re constantly thinking about how traffic is such a waste of time going to your office, then why not think of something that can make the long hours in traffic a productive one. You can actually condition yourself sleeping and waking early so you can leave the house early. And while in the bus or a cab, you can make use of the time reading, or watching educational films online. Another example is about your body,  you don't like your weight, your appearance, you feel ugly and less confident about your physical look. Now, realize that there is something more about life. Physical appearance is just one of them, yet there are other things that matters most. You can shift the way you think in not dwelling too much about how you don't like your physical appearance, but instead thinking over what can be done to improve your looks. This is very shallow of course, but you can think of other reasons that are more motivating. For example, you want to confidently talk in front of people, that way you are marketing yourself way better than before. Be aware that because you have this old habits this thought are still missing but it’s worth practicing, and, day by day this will get easier and easier until the internal monologue inside your head is one that’s supports you, rather than being your biggest obstacle it is going to be your biggest fan. Believe me you’re powerful, you’re a good person, you’re a wonderful person, you’re exactly where you’re need  to be right now in this world and I want you to celebrate that. Celebrate it with yourself first because its only when you learn to appreciate who you are and what  you’re about that you can share that with the rest of the world and we need to be really our biggest fans internally in order to help anybody else and in order to bring about the best we can be and the best person in us so remember how amazing you are today and I hope that you choose to have a fantastic time today and say nice things to yourself, be kind to yourself as much as  you can, stay aware and take care.

Are you sometimes tense?

    Tension symptoms, would you know if you have them? Why not take a Tense quiz?

  The modern world has gifted us with tension, stress, anxiety, depression and many more psychological and emotional disorders. Our ancestors used to live much simpler lives, and were ignorant of these heavy words. But, with the flow of time, we started to lead a busy life that invited some or the other psychological disorders in our life. The best way to get rid of these unrest is to identify them, as they may lead to depression if not controlled on time. Recognizing your own stress or tension is not a tough job. Take the following quiz sessions to find them out. Mornings are the best time to assess yourself. Check if you are getting up lively, happy and with a smile on your face. It means that you are a happy soul with affirmative thoughts. If not, you are heading towards depression. When you wake up tired or with a mind full of incomplete work, it indicates that tension is engulfing you slowly. If in the morning you are not getting up with a delighted heart, take this state of mind seriously as the stress in your life may affect both your physical and psychological health. You might not realize, but stress can be the actual culprit behind your frequent insomnia and dropping productivity at work. You can even take up the quiz while driving or traveling to your office. If you are traveling unworried and enjoying the sights around, you are definitely a happy-go-lucky person and know the essence of living. But, if you are checking your watch after every five minutes and thinking of the day ahead, then you are not only missing the beautiful sights around but also gradually welcoming stress into your life. Unfortunately, in this busy and eventful world, most of us are unaware of the true purpose of living. Most of us either live with the regret of our past deeds or with our future expectations, and thus miss the beauty of the present. We forget that we do not have any hold on our past or future, rather, we should always cross the bridge when we reach it. I advise my readers to cross the bridge at the right time rather than wasting time thinking about it. uiz yourself often to analyze your state of mind. If you find that you are living a tensed life, take a deep breath and relax. Trust me, self-help is the best help and only you can uplift your mood by taking everything easy.  

Next approach, ask yourself 'How Can I Learn to Meditate?'

    In health wellness lifestyle, there are so much we can do to keep ourselves physically, mentally, and spiritually healthy. Luovita will focus on one, Meditation as one of our healthy lifestyle tips. Like fitness training, which is a technique to train the body, meditation too is a technique to train the mind. I would say, learning to meditate can be compared with riding a bike. Once you have learned it, you will not forget it for a lifetime. But where can you learn to meditate? Today, in this era, internet is considered to be an excellent medium of learning and communication. There are a lot of meditation tutorials on this platform. So, you can often start learning meditation from these online courses as long as they are not complicated with lots of jargon. In general, most of these tutorials are good and explain the terms they are using, in detail, so that the beginners can understand them with ease. When you are starting out, it's important to choose a meditation method that's easy to pick up. I would personally suggest practicing breathing exercises in the beginning. Meditation is all about focusing on something and thus, one can learn to meditate by focusing on breathing, walking or any action of their choice. If you prefer, you can also go for a high-tech meditation like Centerpointe, where you need to sit down in a comfortable place and play a CD with a relevant and peaceful music. Once you have decided on a meditation method, try it for a week or so, to check whether you have really got the hold of it. If you have already progressed, keep going with it. And if you haven’t, then try another method instead. Remember, like other aspects of life, not everyone gets on with every method of meditation. So, never be embarrassed if you find you can’t get along with a particular technique. A week or two's trial is a good length of time for learning to meditate. As I said above, meditation is more like driving a car or riding a bike, and it will probably take you more than one lesson to learn it appropriately. Choose a particular time and place to practice meditation each day. We are creatures of habit. Thus, when you are learning something new like meditation, you must set aside a specific time of the day when you know you are not likely to be disturbed and carry out your meditation practice freely. Apart from that, meditation can be learned and shared to everyone. You can influence other people of the good benefits of meditation. You can even blog about it and making money through blogging. Yes, you read it right. You make extra money at home or earn money online as you do blogging. You can read more about here : Blogging  

    To be optimistic in life and know the secret behind a happy lifestyle, read my blog How learn to enjoy your life    

Quick Guide on How to Meditate

      Here is a guide on how to meditate and connect to

your inner being.

  Meditation brings so much positive effect to our body and mind, healthy lifestyle habits that one must start practicing. IWe all deserve this wellness and only takes us 5 minutes every day to at least improve our being.     Even if you are super busy, try to find at least 5 min a day to do this:   1. Get yourself a quiet place that is free of distraction and create an ambiance where you can focus. 2. You may shut your eyes because it’s one of the best ways to meditate, but even if it is not so quiet and peaceful, you may try to concentrate just a little harder. It's a question of mindfulness, observe and embrace exactly where you are. 3. Take slow deep breaths in and out, breath in any way you feel comfortable. 4. Start to release any tension and observe the conscious awareness you are experiencing right now. 5. Invest time in yourself, in your mind and body, in your wellness, if you want to do it with your eyes open, just focus on something peaceful, something with that you feel at peace. 6. Choose to use all senses, bring your attention to your feet, notice where your feet are, and how your soles of your feet feel, on the ground or in the shoes you might be wearing. 7. It is all about observation. Focus on where your feet are in the world. Now shift your mind to the rest of your body, are you seated or standing or lying down? How does it feel where your hands are right now? What can you feel? What sensations is there that can be felt? 8. Are you breathing gently in and out? Divert your attention to the coolness of the air, the gentle rise and fall of your chest and your diaphragm. Observe any noises around you and every sound you can hear, take it in, observe it, and notice any tastes you have in your mouth, any smells around you right now. 9. And if you have your eyes closed imagine a visual light in front of you, a ball of light. Think about what color might be right for you today and focus on that ball of energy. If you got your eyes open, observe the colors around you, and the variety. 10. Stay in there as long as you like, when you are ready, focus on your breathing, then, slowly bring yourself back, feel free to observe the senses further, choose to have a peaceful day today.  

  Finding the Time to Meditate Regularly

    If you won't drive yourself to find time to meditate regularly, then you are missing its benefits. If you want to change your lifestyle, then you must be serious about it. It is identical to the idea of you wanting to earn money online, yet you are not dedicated and committed then result may not be favorable. Nowadays, we all are living a very busy life and always seem to be in a rush. There are so many things around us, competing hard for our time. From food and coffee on the go to speaking on the cell phone and typing away at the computer, all of which clash with each other to get our attention and time. In between all these, we struggle to manage time for positive things like meditation. So, in this fast-paced world, how can we devote at least 15 to 20 minutes of our precious time, simply to meditating? Remember, like brushing and bathing, meditation too is an essential activity for your overall health. Initially, it might seem to be an uphill struggle, but with proper synchronization of time and regular practice, finding time to meditate will no more be a pain. If you seriously want to give some of your valuable time to meditation, start finding it today. Get up earlier than usual, as you never know what would work for you. If you are an evening person, dedicate a few minutes to meditation before you go to sleep. There is no particular time to meditate. Prioritize it at any time, when you are free, calm and at a relaxed state. If you can’t devote sometime every day to meditation, then consider becoming a weekend meditator. Usually, Saturdays and Sundays are not that hectic as the rest of the week and thus it is advisable to indulge yourself in meditation during the weekends.  You will still get benefited from these sessions. Meditation sessions allow you to step away from your busy life and cultivate your inner peace. A small action like re-arranging the schedules of the day can help you to find time to meditate. If you watch the TV news, skip it. If something important happens, it will certainly crop up again in the news channel. You can even ask your family or friends to brief you on the latest updates. I personally practice this habit of skipping the news and catch the important ones on the weekly news. If you have a television recorder, use it to skip the advertisements. This technique will save 15 minutes or more per hour of television you watch. Trust me, when you have the willpower, everything goes smoothly. So, never make an excuse of ‘running out of time’, but rather, find an appropriate time to sit down and close your eyes to meditate. Even if it’s only for a minute, it will do its job perfectly.    

A Tip - 2 Ways to Create Your Own Custom Subliminal

Messages

    A subliminal message is basically an affirmation for your mind, which can be visual or auditory presented below the normal limits of human auditory or visual perception. These suggestions are hidden or exposed for such a short period of time, that your mind may not consciously register them at that time. Instead they are listed in your subconscious. Subliminal messages can be either positive or negative. In this blog, I will discuss the 2 different ways through which you can create your own customized subliminal messages. The best way to prove that subliminal messages work is through a situation you have most likely already experienced. I am sure that you have been in a crowded room with many animated conversations happening all around you. Now, if someone calls out your name from amongst the crowd, you would still most likely be able to hear it, wouldn’t you? The first method I will discuss about is subliminal audios. The great thing about this method is that you can apply them anywhere and everywhere, unlike the other method I will tell you about next. These audios are usually accompanied with either binaural beats or very relaxing music. The messages are repeated so fast, that our conscious mind has no idea what it is suggesting. You can get pre-made and customized subliminal audios. This particular route to persuasion or influence is similar to auto-suggestion or hypnosis. The subject is encouraged to linger in a relaxed state of mind, so that suggestions can be directed to a deeper avenue, the subconscious. The other popular method requires flashing messages on your computer or movie screen. Here, the messages are repeated so fast that your conscious mind does not have time to even read them. You would have probably heard stories of the government and large companies using them in advertisements, etc. Today, you can acquire software which displays subliminal messages on your screen while you are working on it. You can choose and personalize the messages before they are even displayed. Recent studies indicate that subliminal messages, when displayed, reflects a person’s normal interpretations of stimuli. It’s about challenging your mind power. However, there is no concrete evidence to suggest that the viewer will initiate actions based on it.   You may want to check this also:

    Meditation naturally improves memory. No supplement, no

medical intervention, just meditation.

    Meditation is an ancient technique to relax your mind and body. It focuses on concentration and breathing exercises, through which stress can be released from our mind. Practicing it regularly, allows a person to be more receptive and open. Meditation can be beneficial to memory too. Studies say that when a person is relaxed, his memory improves. Few situations like forgetting your loved one’s birthday can encircle you with guilt. Mostly, this happens due to stress, but, the guilt in you starts feeding the cycle of forgetfulness by making you more anxious. As the anxiety grows, you start forgetting other things too. Practicing different meditation techniques, opens up your mind and allows your memory to function well. With gradual execution, your memory will improve, and you will be able to recall things like phone numbers, dates and names easily, without referring to phonebooks or calendars. Meditation is a great alternative to some very vigorous exercises and simple enough to perform on a daily basis. I would recommend you to take meditation classes along with some memory developing programs. This would boost your memory more. Primarily, to meditate, you need a quiet place and finally, the suitable mood and relaxation requires the use of candles and essential oils. It is a proven fact that essential oils are highly soothing and relaxing, and thus, can be beneficial for your memory. Nowadays, meditation classes are offered in gyms and natural wellness centres all over the country. You can find one near you, with a purpose to boost your memory. Apart from improving your retention power, meditation has other benefits too. With its regular implementation, it also helps to improve your self-esteem. If you don’t want to join a class, there are plenty of manuals, books and other equipment in the market, that can help you to start meditation at home. The simplest form of meditation that can be practiced at home is the breathing exercises performed with certain poses. Remember, when your mind is calm and relaxed, your memory will get enough room to grow. Everyone seek for a happy life living an ideal lifestyle and practicing a healthy lifestyle habits.  

Finally - Be Yourself

    Staying honest and true to yourself, looking at yourself clearly and letting people see the real you is the greatest reward you can give yourself. You are not limited in pleasing other people, in interacting how most people interact, you are unique in your own ways. There's nothing really wrong in trying to fit in, but its not always the best idea. You can be who you are so long as you don't hurt someone else. Obviously, people who are not pretentious are more happy.

Let me share some ugly truths about not being yourself, and I hope

it will make you realize to start being real.

  Listening to other people's voices over your own opinion and stand Making other people proud whatever it takes Being conscious of your actions worrying what other people will say about you Trying to fit in when you don't actually need to Losing your self-esteem and thinking less about yourself Your standard is not your own preference, but others   Do you think, you'll feel happy being that someone who isn't really you. Don't make yourself a prison of your own. Be free, from that point on you’re going to feel empowered, more in control of your life, more in control of your happiness and you feel a sense of trust with the world, trust in yourself, trust that you actually know what you’re doing. It feels wonderful to actually be able to live your life with that in mind.    

In the past, I always tried to please others and I am so

afraid of being judged. Here are some realization I learned

in my existence, hope you also realize it sooner than me.

  I am unique, I don't need to fake and pretend I could be like others who are more acceptable by our society or at least by those people around me.     I am happier, there's no pressure at all. Accept me for being me because I won't compromise my happiness just to please you. Sorry for being brutally honest, but that's how I feel. You can't love others, if you ain't loving yourself more. How can you give something you don't have, it's pretty simple right? Being true to yourself, is acting who you are and believing on what you know is right. Self Respect. When you respect yourself, others will respect your too. People will see how strong and that you can stand for yourself and in your beliefs.

How to be true? Try these list below, it worked for me.

Be genuine to yourself and you'll be perfectly fine in being genuine to others Take a firm stand on your value Be decisive, you can make decision on your own Appreciate your own potentials, your talents, your skills Remember that there's nothing wrong in being different Keep in mind that you are influencing people to be the better version of themselves   Now, don't be afraid to show the world the real you. It will make you happy and it will guide you to an amazing life experience.  

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[brinlxys-blog]

( lex , est , she/her, 25 ) - IT MIGHT JUST BE BUT DID YOU SEE ( BRINLEY GRAY ) CLIMB UP THE H OF THE HOLLYWOOD SIGN ? THEY SURE LOOK A LOT LIKE ( DANIELLE CAMPBELL ) ! I HEARD THAT THE ( TWENTY TWO ) YEAR OLD ( CISFEMALE - MUSICIAN ) COULD BE HOLLYWOOD’S NEW CRAZE !

hiiiiiiiii lovelies this is my baby brinley, coffee enthusiast and all around small town girl. i’m going to jump right in and tell you what you need to know about her because she’s far more interesting than i am alright !!

BEFORE

so basically,,,, brinley is from a very small town in south carolina. she grew up the only girl with four older brothers. so, naturally she grew up pretty tough – she could definitely hold her own in a fight and she’s no stranger to wet willies and wrestling.

the family didn’t have much money so with seven people in a three bedroom house, they basically lived on top of one another – they shared everything. brin often found herself dressed in her brothers hand-me-downs ( they never fit ), she never had anything entirely of her own.

however, she was one of those kids who was good at everything she tried – there wasn’t really anything she couldn’t do if she set her mind to it. which unfortunately went unnoticed in her household as her bothers were louder and had their own set of accomplishments ( if she did it, chances were one of them did it first ).

on the other hand, it made others her age pretty jealous tbh.. therefore she never really bonded with her peers.

it didn’t bother brinley all that much that she wasn’t invited to the parties and that she spent her days at school alone. she found solace in the music room during her free time getting to know the ins and outs of piano and guitar, while also writing music.

music quickly became the one thing in her life that she was passionate about, it was something that was hers and hers alone..

of course with the kind of chaos that was their home life, brin could get away with almost anything. between work and her brothers, her parents were often too absorbed in all of it to notice their youngest child and only daughter so rebellion was her solution..

ruLE breaker

i mean, she was the “troubled” one, always sneaking out of the house or getting caught breaking back in… more often than not with alcohol on her breath or bloodshot eyes.

but it worked, getting into trouble was the one way she got her parents to truly notice her and pay her any real kind of attention. yelling at her and their anger was better than invisibility and being ignored.

TW domestic abuse and eating disorder beyond this point ;;;;;;

it was in her senior year of high school that she met nathan, he was a junior in college – older, more experienced and wanted to show small town brinley may the world.

she was immediately infatuated, he had lived and experienced so much more in life than she had. he had money and would buy her pretty things, he made her feel important, desired and gave her the attention she’d never experienced before. most importantly, he  was her first boyfriend. the first male to really take up an interest in her.

nathan brought brin along to parties, he showed her a whole new world that she didn’t know existed just outside her tiny town.

however, three months into their relationship things started to change. what had once been gentle touches turned into bruising holds and love no longer felt warm and comforting – it became scary, it became worrying about saying the wrong thing or slipping up in a way that would set the man off

it was four more months of covering black and blue spots with concealer, of isolating herself further from everyone around her and walking on eggshells around nathan afraid of the hand he might lay upon her

one night, after things got particularly bad brin decided she couldn’t do it anymore – without a word to anyone she packed a bag with only a few essentials and a cap on her head to hide the bruising of her face and fled into the night…

NOW

it was while busking on the streets of los angeles to survive two months after running away from home that the brunette was discovered by her record label. and within a week she had a record deal, within a month a single on the radio and a year her album was out.

this is her second year in the business and she still can’t believe this is her life now, luxurious hotels, parties and more stuff than she could ever have dreamed of. but she doesn’t feel deserving of any of it.

nathan is still the man that haunts her and keeps her up at night. the man whose voice she still hears in her head telling her she’s too fat, she’s not good enough. the hands she still feels roaming her skin and the bruises that have long since faded but still feel tender to the touch.

not to mention, now that her face is every where she’s terrified of him coming back for her. so scared that she hasn’t been back to even see her family now that she has the money to do so – she won’t talk to them or about them.

brin will never tell a soul about this though. she makes herself appear strong at first glance, maybe a little standoffish and slow to warm up, but it’s behind closed doors, when she’s all alone that she falls apart.

brinley will never let anyone see that side of her, or know the past that haunts her.. she can’t be seen as weak. she can only hope he won’t find her. but the experience has left her scarred, as it would anyone. she believes in the ridiculous things he put in her head. she watches what she eats very carefully and will often skip meals, she’s careful about what she says and she always makes sure to keep more than an arms length between herself and another person. not to mention, she maps out the quickest exit in every room, not letting anyone block her in.

you never really know what you’re going to get from brin tbH

she’s a mess

a hOT mesS

she’s a kind soul, though doesn’t like to talk much about herself. she remains an enigma, no one really knows much about the girl aside from what’s on the outside, the trivial factors of life especially now that she’s in hollywood..

so yes, i’m very excited to be here and would absolutely love to plot with you all?? so message me?? or like this and i’ll message you??