#like I can say that I find someone funny and just drill through their blog for a bit

[schrodingers-intelligence]

I wonder if Neil Gaiman just randomly sits down in a chair in his living room, grabs a snack and just scrolls through the shambles that is the tumblr Good Omens community

[katnissmellarkkk]

Okayyyy here comes the next chapter ! Number .... lemme look. Okay, number six! 🥳🥳🥳

And yes, my thoughts as usual will be a messy, very Everlark-biased and full of typos. Letsss gooooo 🥰🥰🥰

Is this the first time Katniss and Peeta have been to their floor or is this just the most opportune time to explain and introduce the Tribute Center living quarters?

Also why are they called tributes anyway? That word suddenly seems weird to me after nine years... 🤔🤔🤔

“I've ridden the elevator a couple of times in the Justice Building back in District 12. Once to receive the medal for my father's death and then yesterday to say my final goodbyes to my friends and family” .... 😶😶 so only good memories and connotations to elevators then, huh?

“The walls of this elevator are made of crystal so that you can watch the people on the ground floor shrink to ants as you shoot up into the air.” My mind is just imagining the elevator in Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone’s Spider-Man movies 🤗.

“It's exhilarating and I'm tempted to ask Effie Trinket if we can ride it again, but somehow that seems childish” this is so cute and innocent omg. Katniss, like I said in my last chapter blog, still has some childlike innocence left in her 🥺🥺🥺. I’m a sad.

Also excuse the unnecessary extra gif use but 🤭🤭🤭

Oh wow, so Haymitch hasn’t been around since they were on the train? No wonder neither Katniss nor Peeta fled they could trust him for basically the entirety of the first book. 😐😐😐

You know it’s bad when Effie being around feels like a blessing to Katniss. Girl has more restraint than me, I’d have ripped off this woman’s janky wig by now without remorse. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

Effie acts like they’re her purebred show dogs. I know I know how is this news, that’s a blatant fact. The movies really softened her up tho for the general audience. And I bleed the movies and books together more than I should 😔😔😔

Well at least she’s made herself useful, trying to get Everlark sponsors ... even if it’s ultimately to benefit herself above anyone else .... 😤

Effie calling Twelve barbaric while she’s preparing them for the slaughter isn’t even ironic it’s like literally just brainless. Johanna probably had the nickname floating around for a lot of people before she officially knighted Katniss with it 😭

“Everyone has their reservations, naturally. You being from the coal district.” Is this how they refer to Twelve? So basically if a district makes a better item, it’s a more worthy one in the Capitol’s eyes? So essentially, if District Eight made like diamonds or pearls or whatever then it would be more worthy? So are the districts assigned their numbers (one, two, three, four, etc) based on their order of importance to the Capitol’s lifestyle? I always thought it was based on their distance in relation to the Capitol? Okay so I didn’t really pay much attention to these facts previously when I read these books ok look away I’m an idiot

Omg 😭😭😭😭 Effie is such an idiot. But the coal turns to pearls thing is my favorite line from her only because it serves as the cutest inside joke when Peeta makes a callback to it in Catching Fire and Finnick is just like “why are these two teenagers so stupid who did I ally with? 🥵😳🥵😳🥵”

“I wonder if the people she's been plugging us to all day either know or care.” After reading Songbirds and Snakes, I’m sure they don’t have a clue, boo. 😑😑😑😑 although not everyone was an idiot back then ... maybe Snow is putting lead in the drinking water?

“But don't worry, I'll get him to the table at gunpoint if necessary.” I know she’s trying to help and I know we say this kind of thing today, but considering this is two kids she’s well aware will be heading into a death match this is just bad wording I know surprise surprise 🙄🙄🙄😬😬😬😬

“Although lacking in many departments, Effie Trinket has a certain determination I have to admire.” Katniss really does see the best in people. What’s sad, y’all, is I think Katniss unconsciously really tries to like people and that’s why she has her guard up so high. Because the softer you are, the easier people will step all over you. Terrible phrasing here, Samantha, I’m so sorry to any of my readers ... okay now that sounded arrogant, implying I have readers 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤣😅🤣😅🤣😅

“My quarters are larger than our entire house back home.” Omg? I mean, yes, I knew this already obviously no duh but like also. Just the fact that three people live in a space smaller than a bedroom and bathroom arena is saddy sad sad. Also do they have indoor plumbing in the Seam or is their backyards just full of—okay, I’ll see myself out. 😶🤭😅🙃

“The shower alone has a panel with more than a hundred options you can choose regulating water temperature, pressure, soaps, shampoos, scents, oils, and massaging sponges.” I’m just imagining a Spongebob scene ngl.

I’m sorry there’s so many gifs this time around it’s probably taking us out of the reading headspace I’ll never do it again 😩😩😩😩 I talk like I have a class of people listening to me 🤭🤭🤭

“Instead of struggling with the knots in my wet hair, I merely place my hand on a box that sends a current through my scalp, untangling, parting, and drying my hair almost instantly” I need this someone invent this NOW my brush is yanking out my hair 😔😩

“I program the closet for an outfit to my taste.” ‘Yes, Alexa, I’d like a hunting jacket, some boots and a green shirt. Yes, it can be brown.’

“You need only whisper a type of food from a gigantic menu into a mouthpiece and it appears, hot and steamy, before you in less than a minute.” I like this idea because it means that Peeta could order hot choccy to comfort Katniss after her nightmares in Catching Fire from the comfort of her their own bed. 🤗🤗🤗 also I want this for myself. The bad people are giving my greedy self ideas look away everyone 😬

“I walk around the room eating goose liver and puffy bread until there's a knock on the door.” 🤢🤢🤢🤢 Of everything you could have chosen, child, this is what you decided on? Someone help my girl and her rotten tastebuds now.

“Effie's calling me to dinner. Good. I'm starving.” Baby, you were just eating. She’s so nutritionally messed up. 😔😔😔

Katniss trying wine 🥳🥳🥳 she’s so funny, trying to find a way to improve the taste 😅. She’ll make a good taste tester for her baker husband one day.

Hahahaha Katniss not liking the feeling and judging Haymitch for always being tipsy. Also this is sad because she ends up addicted to morphling later one which is far worse than a little wine.

I’m glad to know Baked Alaska survived the apocalypse 😅🥳

Katniss just constantly trying to decipher the recipe of every meal and how to recreate it reads cute on a surface level but it’s actually so tragic because everything to this girl is based around food. Like even more than is typically noticed. They really should have given a hint at this in the first movie. Good thing she marries a man who can always keep her full.

I’m just forever side-eyeing you, Gare Bear.

That’s Gary Ross for the confused kids in the back.

Why does Katniss yelling mid-sentence, “oh! I know you!” add to her innocence? 🥺 it’s because she was overwhelmed by all the food and new luxuries she’d never even been able to imagine ... and also this is pre her first games so she’s still got some childhood left in her 😩😔

I wonder how Lavinia felt seeing Katniss volunteer and knowing she’d be her Avox? I wonder if she, like Cinna, somehow volunteered to be her Avox?

I mean ... talk about convenient placement that this specific girl was assigned to Katniss’ district—oh wait, y’all, I just caught myself. She’s from Twelve. She was assigned to Twelve’s tributes because she’s from there, duh. I’m such an airhead omg just call me Effie.

Don’t you actually dare.

“When I look back, the four adults are watching me like hawks.” Meanwhile, Peeta is just like 😬😬😬 eating his dinner.

Actually, ngl, this could be such a reach and it probably is but like maybe Peeta sensed a confrontation coming and, because of his implied upbringing, he naturally becomes silent or makes himself invisible when trouble starts looking like it’s gonna arise. 🥺🥺🥺 I don’t know why I say these things I’m just hurting my own feelings but ya know the drill. I thought it so I said it.

Why is Effie yelling at Katniss for saying she knows the Avox girl like omg overreaction much? And I know, the sky is blue 🙄🙄🙄 she’s prejudiced against basically everyone, I know, I know

Rip her wig off, Katty Deen 🤗🤗🤗

Oh I stupidly forgot that Avoxes are supposedly known by everyone to be traitors or criminals. So I suppose this isn’t Effie’s worst offense but I’m keeping a tally anyways

Katniss is blaming her stuttering on the wine but my girl just has social anxiety 😔😔😔

Peeta coming in with a save 😭😭😭 he’s already trying saving his girl 🤧

Alsoooo the unspoken friendship, the covering for the other and teaming up against the adults, is still riding high and going strong here 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 look away, y’all, the shipper comments are coming in strong

Also why is this the first real interaction with Peeta in this chapter yet? My baby needs more page-time 🤭🤭🤭

“Delly Cartwright is a pasty-faced, lumpy girl with yellowish hair who looks about as much like our server as a beetle does a butterfly.” Now why did Katniss just tear Delly to shreds for no reason at all 😭😭😭 this was a surprise assault on the poor girl 🙃🙃🙃🙃

“She may also be the friendliest person on the planet - she smiles constantly at everybody in school, even me.” Okay not to tie absolutely everything back to Peeta ... but to tie absolutely everything back to Peeta ... this description of poor, sweet Delly is actually indicative of Peeta’s character? Since Delly, we find out in Mockingjay, is Peeta’s childhood best friend, her personality being this sunny, kind, good-natured person tells us Peeta has always probably been somewhat like her and perhaps not as much like the other town kids Katniss implies to be stuck up or snooty. Maybe Katniss is just shady and deflects onto others 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️.

Also the fact that she gives this like ... mean description of Delly but saw Peeta as popular, even though surely Delly and Peeta spent time at school together, implies further that Katniss did indeed harbor a secret crush on Peeta even before the reaping. A very mild comparison of his on her though, of course 😅😅😅

“It must be the hair” “something about the eyes too” their piggybacking on the other’s comments really is just chiefs kiss 😘🤗🥰🤧 FYI I know the saying is chefs kiss but I made the typo once a long time ago and decided to add it forever to my brand 🤗🙃🥳

Also though this Everlark interaction is reminiscent of when two kids get caught by their teacher goofing off in class and covering for each other 🥰 only it’s a lot more deadly stakes

“A few of the other couples make a nice impression, but none of them can hold a candle to us.” She’s so modest 🤧🤧🤧 her narration here and during the Tribute Parade just has the vibes of ... well .... sorry in advance

Haymitch’s comment “Just the perfect touch of rebellion. Very nice” leads me to think he and Cinna and maybe Portia were always in cahoots about the rebellion even before Katniss and Peeta came along and well ... lit their match on fire 🥁🤗🤣🤭

Katniss is like “rebellion??? Rebellion where??? What’s that you old people speak of???” And yet, girlfriend goes out to the woods and hunts illegally every day of her life 🤣🤣🤣🤣.

“But when I remember the other couples, standing stiffly apart, never touching or acknowledging each other, as if their fellow tribute did not exist” too lazy too look it up but there’s a quote from Ballad about Lucy Gray and Jessup being distinguished by their visible friendship too that set them apart from the other tributes.

Either Suzanne thought of drawing a nice parallel showing what a failed Everlark attempt looks like, because I firmly stand by the fact that without their real feelings behind their act, even Katniss’ unconscious ones, they wouldn’t have pulled it off, or Suzzie just reused her own content. I prefer the former but I think it’s probably the latter 🤭🤭🤭

“Now go get some sleep while the grown-ups talk." I know Haymitch is being facetious here but this quote reminded me of the fact that the movies would have hit differently if they’d cast actual sixteen year olds in the roles.

“When we get to my door, he leans against the frame, not blocking my entrance exactly but insisting I pay attention to him.” This is such a flirty, high school boy pose, you cannot convince me otherwise 😭😭😭

Also I definitely feel like Peeta is getting more and more confident here because he’s oblivious to Katniss’ inner monologue as much as she is his actually we all are his sadly and he probably thinks she’s starting to like him 🤧🤧🤧

“So, Delly Cartwright. Imagine finding her lookalike here." 🤣 He honestly cracks me up idk why this line isn’t even special or that great. He’s just so ... subtly nosy / funny. Which brings me to that quote from Mockingjay where Katniss talks about his sense of humor because it’s one of the things she loves most about him 😭😭😭

But he’s like, “I can keep a secret, Katniss, tell me who that tongueless chick is to you 😬”

Katniss stop talking about debts, friends cover for the other all the time 🙄🙄 I know it’s in her character stop yelling at a fish for swimming that’s not a real phrase I know that too

Okay first of all, they’re about to share a secret 🥰🥰🥰🥰. My shipper goggles are on tight and obstructing my vision. I know this and am proud 😬🥳🤗

And secondly, “Maybe sharing a confidence will actually make him believe I see him as a friend.” Hey, butthead, you two are already friends. She doesn’t even recognize that the girl who constantly sits with her, talks to her, eats with her and trades with her is her friend either though, I’m shocked she calls Gale her friend

Does Peeta get to know Cinna too? I don’t think so but it’s mentioned now a couple times in this chapter alone that Peeta has interacted with Cinna. Katniss never interacts or has a conversation with Portia.... then again, is that even surprising? Katniss isn’t ... what you would call ... social. Hashtag relatable.

Awww, they’re communicating so effectively together 🥰😭🤧🥳

Also rooftops belong to Everlark only 😍😊😉 I mean, seriously, Katniss never goes up on a rooftop with anyone else. Besides Haymitch in the first movie but we ignore.

“Electricity in District 12 comes and goes, usually we only have it a few hours a day.” Earlier she said the Seam didn’t often have electricity, in particular, so either she’s not specifying her section of the district anymore or Suzanne is backtracking.

“But here there would be no shortage. Ever.” I’ve had two power outages recently so clearly the Capitol isn’t based on us currently today then 😐😐 I’m just joking ok

“I asked Cinna why they let us up here. Weren't they worried that some of the tributes might decide to jump right over the side?” .... boyfriend, where does your mind go sometimes? Peeta’s darker than we realize, y’all 🤭🤭🙃🙃

“He holds out his hand into seemingly empty space. There's a sharp zap and he jerks it back” between this and Catching Fire, Peeta is addicted to getting shocked by forcefields 🤧🤧🤧

“I wonder if we're supposed to be up here now, so late and alone.” If this was a romantic drama or comedy, that line would have meant something a lot more fun 😒😔😬😉😏

“On the other side of the dome, they've built a garden with flower beds and potted trees.” Is this meant to resemble Snow’s grandmother’s garden???? Like he had them put a garden there to like ... put a piece of his Grandma’am in the games? Idk this made zero sense it was a stupid thought

Two people in a garden at night, with wind chimes, sounds romantic in any other context. 🥺🥺

Ummm does everyone in the entire district know Katniss and her father used to hunt together?

Oh nevermind, Lavinia is not from District Twelve. My bad, guys. I should go up and edit my previous thoughts but that’s a lot of work. 😅😅😅

Katniss, stop being so hard on yourself. You and Gale were kids. 😣😣

Ummm, Katniss for a girl always complimenting Peeta’s storyteller, you’re pretty good at painting a picture yourself...

Peeta noticing she’s shivering 🥰🥺

He gives her ... his jacket 😭😭😭😭 such a romantic troupe Samantha, get over it there’s literally children dying

Oh wow, Lavinia was from the Capitol originally. Hmm, it is sus now that she got District Twelve this particular year.

But also 🤧🤧🤧 “he secures a button at my neck.”

His hands .... are .... often .... at her .... neck .... 😶😬 .... look away, y’all

Oh wow, Katniss is over here thinking, “who’d leave the Capitol if they were from here???” And Peeta’s like instantly, loudly, without hesitating, “well I would 🙋🏼‍♂️”

Hot take, y’all ready? Peeta was a bigger rebel than Katniss from the start. At least internally.

Awww, Peeta is so jealous 😭😭😭😭 and kind of nosy 🤭🤭🤭

Katniss : “me and Gale are not related” Peeta : “😬🙃😭😩😶”

“I'd set out to tell her I was sorry about dinner. [...] my apology runs much deeper. [...] I let the Capitol kill the boy and mutilate her without lifting a finger. Just like I was watching the Games.” I feel like this is actually a good comparison though, because of you grew up in a society where you have to watch kids die, your whole entire life you’ve watched it in a glorified television show, you would be really desensitized to it...

“You don't forget the face of the person who was your last hope.” Here she’s talking about Lavinia but it applies to Peeta too. Katniss was Lavinia’s last hope and she feels like she let her down but Peeta was her last hope once and he came through. And, as she said in chapter one, she’ll never forget him for it. And for other things too. Later on. 😏

Of course my last bullet point was focused on Everlark 🤣 is anyone surprised you shouldn’t be we all knew who this post was written by right? 😅

And once again, if too made through this marathon, congratulations 🥳🥳🥳🥳 maybe next chapter I’ll talk less not likely though so don’t count on it 😅

[skiller0dani]

For Monty | Monty De La Cruz

M A S T E R L I ST Timothy Granaderos Masterlist

smut  requests info

important notice:  13 reasons why covers some really heavy stuff and their material can be extremely triggering. seeing as my writing is supposed to be for fun only I won’t be including many of the topics seen in the show. in fact, unless I say otherwise most of all my writings for this show will take place before Hannah Bakers suicide. if you or a loved one ever needs to seek professional help please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline.

*

also I’ve been getting so many messages saying stuff along the lines of “I thought you were a timothee chalamet blog??! why haven’t you written for him?”  & “i don’t read your stuff anymore it’s not timmy chalamet”  I am super hella done with messages like this. yes I write for timothee chalamet the most but I still do have other interests. I write what I will enjoy writing the most, because when I’m not interested in what I’m writing the entire piece turns into garbage. I will continue to write for timmy chalamet, but I will continue to also write for other people and tv shows/movies/WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT. :) if this upsets you then feel free to stop reading my stuff. thank you for understanding. xx

~Skiller0Dani~

WOW. That was long, anyway onto the Monty smut ;)  also someone to you by the banners makes me think of Monty :( I miss him so fucking much dudes and dudettes. tell me I’m not the only one who misses that way too violent cutie pie. 

You weren’t someone who was known for mindlessly crushing on upperclassman. You focused mainly on your school work, trying to get straight A’s. Your Father had drilled it into your head that good grades equal good college offers. While he wasn’t wrong, you wished that there could be more to your life than report cards and school projects. No, you never crushed on anyone. In fact a majority of your friends had come to the conclusion you’re asexual, which is far from true. Actually your eyes had landed on a prize all their own, you’d much prefer they stay focused on the work in front of you but instead they were trained on the schools ‘lady killer’. Montgomery De La Cruz. 

You doubt Monty had ever even once glanced in your direction and up until now that didn’t bother you. The only thing that bothered you more than the lack of attention you were receiving was the fact that he currently had his eyes set on a busty blonde across the Library. 

And you do not take rejection very well. 

Monty might not have known he was rejecting you but he most certainly was. By allowing his eyes to trail down to her cleavage before letting his eyes take in her delicate features he was obviously rejecting you. You pushed back from the table as Monty sidled towards the blonde airhead. Fuck. Why do you care so much? You feel more anger then heartbreak, you weren’t one of those cry baby women. If someone upset you, you made sure they knew it. In this case you would definitely be making sure Monty knew how much he’d upset you. 

While you planned on finding a clever way to introduce yourself to Monty, the Universe wanted to rectify this situation for you all on his own. Fate was a funny thing. You stood in front of your open locker, texting a few friends before heading to your neck class when you hear a soft click followed by the shutter of a camera. Tyler was a nice guy, harmless if not a little creepy. Nonetheless he made you uncomfortable, you could feel his eyes follow you around the school. You turned slightly to the right to see Tyler peeking from around the corner with his lens pointed at you. You tried to look causal as you began to hurriedly pack your things into your bag when the quick sound of footsteps on the tile floors caught your attention. You feel a sharp breeze blow from behind you and before you even know what’s going on Monty has Tyler pinned to the lockers. 

Your eyes are wide and poor Tyler shakes like a leaf, his eyes refusing to meet Monty’s. “Fucking leave her alone.” Monty’s voice is tense and his eyes burn craters into Tyler’s head. He fists two handfuls of Tyler’s shirt and when Tyler makes the mistake of lifting his eyes to meet yours Monty slams him back against the locker again. “Don’t even look at her freak.” The last work is spat from Monty’s mouth. It makes Tyler flinch. “I-I didn’t-” Tyler’s voice cracks as he stumbles for the right words. Monty leans in closer, his fingers curling around Tyler’s shirt tighter. 

“I saw you taking her picture from around the corner, and if that’s not creepy enough I’ve watched you follow her around the school. You wanna touch her Down? Hm? Wanna find a good place to have your way with her?” The words coming from Monty’s mouth are venomous, you’d be lying if you said your panties weren’t wet. Smiling with the edge still in his eyes Monty releases Tyler and begins to straighten his shirt. “So here’s what we’re going to do Down. You’re going to leave her the fuck alone, no talking to her, no taking pictures. If you even look in her direction I’m going to beat you to a bloody pulp. Capiche?” Monty feigns a friendly look, while Tyler quickly nods and squirms away the instant Monty allows him to. You fiddle with the strap of your bag as Monty turns to you, a much different look in his eyes. 

“You okay?” His eyes are on you, his attention is finally on you. The feeling of his eyes brushing over your face and down your body has you melting directly into the floor. Instead of collapsing into a tingling heap you smile with a quick nod. “Y-Yeah, you don’t need to worry though. Tyler is harmless, just kind of creepy.” You reassure him the best you can but you doubt you did anything to ease his worry. Monty rolls his eyes, the tension hasn’t yet left his shoulders. “Harmless now. It’s disgusting the way he follows you around the school. I’ve even seen him linger around the girls bathroom if you go in.” Monty’s voice becomes strained again, a memory seeming to play in his head. 

You turn to head to class and much to your surprise Monty begins to walk beside you, “you really don’t have to walk me to class.” There’s a blush on your cheeks and Monty merely shrugs. There are eyes on you as you walk with Monty, people know Monty. Nobody knows you, they’re probably wondering how Monty does. “No biggie.” He’s incredibly casual, and also a lot nicer than you were expecting. Sure he was a little rough with Tyler but Tyler was being really creepy. You have no clue who allowed the town stalker to be in charge of yearbook, it like gives him a reason to follow people around. It’s conveniently always for “yearbook”. No way. 

Nothing else of major significance occurred after that day. Monty would occasionally wink at you from across the hall or throw a lopsided smile your way in the hallways. But you figured he saw you as a little sister than someone he wanted to fuck into oblivion. You desperately wanted him to fuck you into oblivion. Monty definitely did however keep a close eye on you if any guy approached you. Even his friends, like Zach. You were pretty good friends with Zach, having lived down the street from him since as long as you can remember. Anytime Zach stood by your locker with you, you could feel Monty’s eyes on you. Sure enough each and every time you looked up you saw Monty’s heated gaze on the two of you. Basically, you were receiving a hundred different mixed messages from him. Why were you waiting around for him anyway? When in doubt, do it your damn self. 

There were tons of eyes on you today. You were wearing a sheer see through deep purple crop top. Beneath the crop top you wore nothing but a lacy black bra, which was very much on display. It wasn’t what you were wearing that was catching everyone’s attention, but what you’d written on the cups of your bra. You’d written FOR MONTY, each word on each cup in big white letters. People were whispering all around you as you made your way to your locker. Zach in particular wasn’t all that surprised, he knew you fairly well. If it took you too long to get what you wanted, you’d make sure to make a show of it once you’d decided to get it yourself. In this case however, that thing you wanted was in fact, Monty. 

Monty almost didn’t notice, not until one of his buddies elbowed his side, “dude look.” 

Monty swore his cock jumped to attention once he’d seen what you were wearing. The words FOR MONTY written on your breasts catching his attention immediately. You’d barely allowed him a side glance as you strolled on by and while every single nerve in Monty’s body wanted to approach you first- he didn’t. Clearly you’d done this to catch his attention, and Monty couldn’t help but wonder what you’d do if he did nothing. His cock was nearly twitching at the thought. So Monty gave little to no reaction and turned back to his boys, who all thought he was completely insane. How could he do nothing when an insanely hot chick had basically given her breasts to him? 

The reaction infuriated and confused you just as much as it did them. Was he really so uninterested that at the prospect of you offering your body to him willingly he would still reject you? Ouch. You slammed your locker shut and turned to brush past him, ignoring Zach’s quiet chuckling as he followed behind you. You weren’t embarrassed, you’d thankfully inherited your Mother’s fearless nature. You were pissed the fuck off. You’d give Monty one last chance before you’d write him off and look for another good lay. Although you’d yet to find someone at Liberty that was hotter than Monty. “Gonna give it up?” Zach asked, that teasing laugh still hinting at his tone. You turned to give him a sharp glare, so far today Zach had been the only guy not to look at your breasts. “I still have one more idea.” You mused aloud. 

Zach rolled his eyes. Of course you did. 

When the bell rang you’d headed for your locker to dump all your school stuff inside. Your jacket was zipped all the way up as you shoved things into your locker. This had to be the craziest thing you’ve ever done, but fuck you wanted Monty so damn badly. So badly in fact that you’d do about damn near anything to make that happen. You walked with confidence even though nothing but fear coursed through you with every step. You approached the locker room, knowing the boys had just finished baseball practice. Meaning they were all sweaty, and showering. And naked. You sucked in a sharp breath before shoving the locker room door open, and immediately every pair of eyes were on you. Some guys wolf whistled, some guys covered their junk, some didn’t. Gross. Your eyes however were set on one person. Zach’s eyes widened as soon as he’d seen you, now this did surprise him. 

Monty’s back was to you but with one look at Diego and he was turning around, an amused expression on his face when he saw you. Once you were stood in front of Monty you reached for your jacket zipper before pulling it down and shrugging your jacket off your shoulders. Monty’s expression shifted once he’d noticed you were no longer wearing the crop top and wore only the black lacy bra you’d written on. Yours and Monty’s eyes met in an intense stare down, you could feel the sexual tension beginning to fill the entire room. Monty had one eyebrow raised while he looked at you. “Y’know baby if De La Cruz here won’t do anything, I’m sure I could give you a good night.” A guy said from your left, but you didn’t bother to look over at him. 

“Good thing it doesn’t take brains to be a baseball player. It clearly says ‘FOR MONTY’ meathead.” You fire back, noticing the way Monty’s mouth quirked up at your words. The baseball player slinks back as the rest of the team ‘oohs’ and begins to tease him. You and Monty continue your stare down and it’s simply erotic. “Well Montgomery? Whatcha think?” Another player said as you and Monty stood nearly chest to chest. Your heart was hammering against your ribcage as his nearly expressionless face slid into a sly smile. “I think the rest of you nasty fucks has seen enough of her tits.” Monty said simply before swiftly hauling you up and over his shoulder. A gasp escaped your lips followed by giggles as Monty marched to the door of the locker room as the rest of the team whistled and cheered Monty on. 

“Monty, where are we going?” You shriek with laughter as he carries you down the hallway, purpose in his steps. Monty’s hand rests on your ass and he gives you a sharp slap, “literally anywhere else.” He says, his eyes scanning around for the nearest place he can screw your brains out. “I don’t have a shirt on!” You exclaim, gasping when his palm comes down on your ass again. Monty chuckles, “baby soon you won’t have anything on at all.” His words send jolts of arousal shooting straight between your legs. Finally Monty spies an empty classroom and throws the door open before locking it behind him. He drops you to the ground, his pupils dilated and his eyes fixed on you. 

“I have been hard as a rock all fuckin’ day from the shit you just pulled.” Monty said, his voice husky as he stalked towards you. You slid back to sit on the teachers desk, your wide eyes watching him as he drew nearer and nearer to you. “I’m sorry Monty.” Your voice is so innocent and soft it nearly makes him jizz his pants when he sees the doe eyes you’re simultaneously flashing him. “Are you? Because you just walked around with your tits on display for everyone to see. All. Fucking. Day. Then you waltz your sexy little ass into the locker room and show your beautiful tits in that bra for all my boys to see?” Monty has an edge to the tone of his voice, a dangerous predatory edge. You nibble on your bottom lip as you nod up at him. 

“These are my tits, isn’t that right baby?” Monty asks, reaching up to harshly squeeze your breasts through your bra. You nod immediately, nearly careening into his hand when he gently strokes his fingers down your cheek. “Then why in the hell did you let every guy in the entire school see them? Hm?” He’s definitely angry. You weren’t expecting anger, you couldn’t deny however that his anger had your panties completely soaked. “I just wanted your attention.” You explain with a sigh, whining when he pulls his palm away from you. Monty nodded slowly, the angry expression still very plainly on his face. “Well you got everybody’s damn attention Y/N. If I’m going to be kind and give you my cock we need to come to some sort of understanding.” Monty says, crossing his arms as he glowers at you. You nod quickly, your breasts still spilling out of your bra in front of Monty’s eyes. It was very distracting. 

“First of all, these are my perfect tits and only I get to see them. Understood?” Monty demands, walking behind you. His arms reach up to open the clasp of the bra, “yes Monty.” Your entire body is buzzing with anticipation as you feel his fingers trail lightly down your spine. “In fact this entire perfect, tight little body is mine got it?” His voice is stern as he presses his front to your back. You nod weakly as his hand trails down to your navel. His thumb brushes against your nipple as his hand travels downwards and you whine, arching your back into his touch. “Second, if we do this it can’t be a one time thing. You will ruin me for life if I never get to taste your pussy again. I’ll never be able to fuck anyone else without thinking of you.” Monty breathed, his nose nudging down your neck as his fingers hit the waistband of your jean shorts. 

You smile widely when you hear his words, “you’ll get to fuck me whenever you want.” you agree instantly and Monty hums in approval against your skin. Monty’s hand continues past your shorts to rub lightly at your inner thighs. “Monty please.” Your voice is a mix of frustration and desperation as he begins to bite down on your shoulder, and his hand continues it’s torturous ministrations on your inner thighs. “Lastly, you can’t fuck anyone else. If you want this, then you’re mine. I find out you’re banging some other guy I’ll beat him to a pulp. Got it?” Monty snaps and you want to agree but you can’t help the words as they come from your lips. “Then you can’t bang anyone either. Just me.” You snap and Monty smiles against your skin. 

“Deal.” Monty agrees as he slides his hand into your shorts, his fingers finding your clit through your underwear. Your head is thrown back against his shoulder as he begins to slowly rub at you while his other hand pops open the button on your shorts to give him more room to tease you. “Diego has been talking about making a move on you, if he does you’re going to turn him down. Understood?” Monty demands, the thought of Diego getting to touch you this way sparking the flame of anger inside his chest. “Don’t want him anyway. Want you Monty,” You reassure him, boldly reaching out to lace your fingers through his free hand. Much to your surprise Monty lets you hold his hand. “You think I wrote your name on my bra today so I could get Diego’s attention?” You fire back, your mouth falling open when Monty carefully pushed 2 fingers into your wet entrance. 

“You did get his attention.” Monty seethed, his left hand reaching up to curl around your throat. The feeling of his hand lightly squeezing at your throat ha you moaning loudly, feeling the heat building in your pelvis as he continues to pump his fingers into you. “Oh you like it when I choke you baby? You like it when I’m in control?” Monty hums in your ear and you can feel his hard cock pressing against your back. You nod quickly, feeling your high approaching as he gently squeezes your throat again. “Seeing you shove Tyler against the lockers- I love it when you’re rough. I touched myself that night thinking about you.” You admitted and you hear Monty hum in approval. “What did you think about baby?” Monty whispers huskily into your ear. 

“Thought of you pressing me against the lockers as you take me from behind. I thought about your thick, hard cock pushing into me over and over again. I thought about your big hands holding my hips as you fuck me so hard I couldn’t walk.” You cry out as your orgasm draws even closer. Monty curls his fingers into you and you cry out loudly as you cum, your body shaking as Monty harshly fingers you through your orgasm. Once the shaking comes to a stop you immediately slide off the desk to kneel in front of Monty. He leans back against the desk as you unbuckle his belt and pull it through the loops of his jeans. 

“Wait,” Monty’s voice is hoarse as he pulls you back to your feet, his eyes are on yours as he pulls your lips to meet his. Your lips move together, a mix of tongue, teeth, and heavy breathing. “I couldn’t go another second without doing that.” Monty whispers against your lips before pushing you back down onto your knees. You unbutton his jeans before yanking them down along with his tight boxers. Monty release a sigh of relief as his cock is freed from it’s tight confines, and your mouth waters when you lay your eyes on it. 

“Fuck Monty you’re huge.” You say, your voice sounding nearly dreamy. 

Monty smiles with a raised brow, but that cocky look is wiped off his face when you take his dick into your mouth. You wrap your lips around his leaking head and Monty grips the edge of the desk tightly as you slowly take him further into your mouth. Monty’s hand twists your hair into a ponytail and he holds it tightly, helping you bob your head up and down his shaft. “Christ. You’re fuckin’ good at this baby.” Monty moans as he watches you take his cock down your throat. You hum against him causing his hips to buck into your mouth, and soon you feel Monty’s hips stutter a bit. That’s when he pulls out of your mouth, “I want to cum inside your sweet little pussy.” Monty gasps, still trying to catch his breath as he turns you around.  

Monty bends you over the desk, yanking your shorts and underwear down your legs. You hear the sound of a condom wrapper being ripped open and after a minute or so you feel Monty’s cock nudging at your pussy. “You sure you want this?” Monty asks, his hands coming down to grasp at your hips. Instead of answering him you plant your hands flat on the desk as you push back against him, taking his cock all the way inside you. “Shit baby,” Monty hisses, the unexpected feeling making him nearly lightheaded as he looks down and watches you thrust back against him. His hands hold lightly at your hips as he watches you do all the work, fucking yourself back against his cock. “Goddamn, isn’t that a sight to see.” Monty whispers almost to himself, he watches the place you two connect intently, watching his cock disappear inside you nearly has him panting. 

You continue to push back against him for a few minutes, high pitched moans and cries escaping your lips as he brushes against that sensitive spot inside you. It’s not long before Monty is grasping your hips a little tighter to regain control. 

He begins to hardly thrust into you, his hips smacking against yours. Your hipbones grind into the desk, you know that’s going to leave some gnarly bruises and will hurt like a bitch tomorrow. Monty slams into you, his breathing labored as he pounds you hard. You shake with each thrust, your breasts swaying as your body is rocked against the desk. You feel that familiar coil winding in your stomach when Monty reaches around to thumb at your clit. Your mouth is hanging open when you feel Monty’s other hand grab your hair to yank your head back. You cry out when Monty slams into you, hitting that sweet spot inside you over and over again until you’re cumming all over his cock and down your thighs. Monty cums with a groan, his hands falling to support his weight against the desk so he doesn’t crush you. 

“Best fuck ever.” Monty says breathlessly and you laugh weakly with him. He gently pulls out of you and you wince as he does so. Your upper body collapses against the desk and you’re surprised when you feel Monty cleaning you up with a tissue. Your heart warms at the sweet look in his eyes when he winks at you when you look at him over your shoulder. Monty then presses a quick kiss to your clit, causing your body to jolt before he pulls your panties and shorts back up. “Still don’t have a shirt doofus.” You mumble as you clip your bra behind your back. Monty shrugs as he reaches to lift you in his arms bridal style. Your cheeks are flushed as he opens the door of the classroom to head back to the locker room- he still needs to shower. “You’re too sore to walk anyway.” Monty says, unable to keep the pride out of his tone as he says it. You merely hum in response as your eyes close when you rest your head against his chest. 

“Have a good fuck Monty?” A baseball player teases as Monty pushes back into the locker room, looking like he just got laid with you sleeping in his arms. Monty merely rolls his eyes, “shut up and give me her jacket.” He snaps, sitting down on the bench as Zach hands him your jacket. Monty presses a kiss to your head as he helps you into your jacket before zipping it up. “Here, I can take her. So you can shower.” Zach says, noticing that you’re completely out in Monty’s arms. Monty is hesitant as Zach reaches down to gently pull you into his arms, and when Zach turns Monty stands. “Here, bring her to my car. I just need to shower.” He says, handing Zach his keys. Zach is one of the few people Monty actually trusts with his car keys. 

That was supposed to be nothing more than a quick fuck, but when Monty saw you sleeping in his arms he felt his heart skip a beat. He felt like a good man, like he was protecting you. Monty didn’t normally have feelings for anybody but you seemed to be the exception. 

Fuck. 

_____

want a part 2? lemme know. 

[early2000smovieimagines]

Meeting and Dating Rafe McCawley

(My gif) (Requested by @minigranger )

(I’m so sorry this took so long! I’m trying really hard to write more often on all my blogs!)

- You and your family lived in the same town as Rafe so even though you didn’t directly meet him until you were older, you still saw him around a lot growing up. 

- For as long as he could remember, he had always had a massive crush on you. No, not just a crush, this boy was in love with you ever since he first saw you at the general store when you were kids. 

- Anytime he saw you, he’d stop and stare like an angel just walked past him. And to him you were an angel, one he needed to have for himself. If only he had the guts to talk to you. 

- He did in fact gain the courage to ask you out on a date but only after he got older and grew out of his awkward gangly teenage phase. 

- You were genuinely surprised when he approached you for the first time, introducing himself with such urgency and determination that you couldn’t help but feel as though you were the most important thing in the world. He really powered through his confession like his life depended on it which was honestly pretty adorable to you. 

“Ma’am? My name is Rafe McCawley and please excuse me, but I just need to get this off of my chest. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, inside and out, and you would make me the happiest man on Earth if you were to say you’d join me on a date.” 

- Who could say no to that?

- The smile you gave him once he was finished made his knees weak. He almost couldn’t believe his ears once you agreed, it was like all his dreams had come true. He quickly told you he’d pick you up at noon the next day before clumsily making his exit, running home to tell Danny everything that had happened. 

- He was so excited for your date that he literally arrived at your house thirty minutes early and waited outside, checking his watch until he deemed it appropriate to ring your doorbell. He was nearly speechless when you answered, handing you a bouquet of flowers before finally forcing out a “god, you are so beautiful”. 

- He took you to a gorgeous lake where the two of you sat in the shade of a big  willow tree and had a pretty little picnic. He was adorably clumsy throughout your whole date which only made you fall for him even more. He confessed that he’d liked you for a long time now and you confessed the same which caught him completely off guard. 

- The thing about Rafe is that deep down, he’s a shy loser. He can’t flirt for the life of him but god can he make a girl swoon without even trying. He wins your love with earnest compliments and sweet nothings that come straight from his heart. 

- You have your first kiss that same day, bathed in the setting sun and surrounded by the smell of warm dry air and flowers. It’s deliciously soft and beautifully slow, making your heart race and your mind stop. 

- You’ve been two fools in love ever since and you’ve got no intention of stopping anytime soon. 

- He wants everyone to know that you’re together so expect a lot of pda. Handholding, soft kisses, hugs, his arm wrapped around you, etc. It’s all very innocent but it sends a message and makes you both happy. 

- You catch him watching you a lot, often with this little smile on his face that tells you exactly what he’s thinking. How did I get so lucky. 

- Passionate kisses. 

- Spontaneous and adventurous dates and decisions. Most of them get ruined somehow but neither of you mind, the temporary thrill is amazing and the get-away is always amusing. 

- Even though you don’t come from much, he tries his best to make you feel like the classiest woman alive. Champagne, roses, diamonds, whatever he can get his hands on. 

- Folded cranes and other sentimental gifts. Both of you smile every time you see them. 

- He likes pressing kisses all over your face before he finally captures your lips in his. He adores the little giggles you make whenever he does it.

- He wraps both his arms around you in a bear hug when the two of you cuddle. He can hardly sleep without holding you close, almost as though he’s afraid you’ll disappear in the night

- He’s pretty clumsy so you’ll have to take care of your fair share of cuts and bruises. 

- Hearing about all of his adventures with Danny. Some of them are so outrageous that you can’t believe they’re real no matter how much he laughingly assures you they are. 

- He’s going to give you a complex with how much he compliments you. It’s kind of funny though because as much as he compliments you, he often gets pretty flustered when you do the same. 

- He uses a lot of pet names on you but you think you like it best when he calls you by your name. There’s just something so nice about the way he says it. 

- Sitting on his lap and snuggling close. 

- Soft caresses, he can never seem to keep his hands off of you. 

- Pulling his hat off his head so that you can kiss him. When you pull away, he likes to teasingly place it on yours, calling you captain and asking what you feel like doing. 

- There’s a lot of teasing in your relationship but it’s the “so sweet it’ll rot your teeth” kind of teasing. 

- Getting carried around bridal style. 

- Taking long walks together. He likes having a chance to get away from everybody and just spend some quality time with you. 

- He’s taken you on a plane ride at least once, he’s either very glad that you share his love for flying or finds it cutely amusing when you get scared. 

- Even though he’s fond of thrills, he does enjoy just spending a quiet night in with you. 

- Whenever he goes to order food or drinks for the two of you, he’ll hand you some money to go spend on the jukebox while you wait for him. He thinks it’s cute when you skip off all excited to pick a song. 

- Going to the cinema together. 

- Photo booth pictures.

- Going dancing. 

- Sneaky butt touches, he tries his best to act innocent but you know he’s a liar. 

- Tight hugs, he often lifts you up and spins you around whenever you wrap your arms around him. 

- He always tries his best to act like he isn’t sick or hurt but he rarely manages to do so convincingly. A lot of the time he can’t help but give up, apologize and admit that yes, he feels about ready to die. He want’s you to think he’s all tough and macho but he doesn’t have quite the pain tolerance or acting skills for it. 

- He likes for everything to be special when he’s with you, he loves making memories together and having things to look forward to the next time he sees you. 

- It always warms his heart to hear you talk about your future together or how much your parents like him. He loves knowing that you’re planing to stay with him and that he’s already a part of your family. 

- At the start of your relationship, he tried desperately to hide his disability from you, thinking that, for some ungodly reason, you’d stop loving him and think that he was stupid. You reassure him that that would never happen and help him whenever he needs you to. 

- Sometimes he just likes having you read different books to him or recount the plots of books that you’ve read. He loves your voice and being able to experience stories without the difficulty of trying to read them. 

- He’s insecure but in a secretive, no one would know, type of way. Anyone who doesn’t know him well would never be able to tell but you can see through the cracks and know exactly what he’s thinking most of the time. 

- He’s a pretty jealous guy, he takes people flirting with or being interested in you very personally and has definitely gotten into fights over you. He just cares about you too much to let someone “disrespect your relationship” like that. 

- He might be willing to let you go if you don’t love him anymore but god will it be hard for him. He firmly believes a part of him will always love you no matter what happens between the two of you. 

- You rarely ever fight, there’s hardly ever a reason to, your relationship is pretty much perfect. But on that rare occasion that you do, you’ll both just calmly get everything off of your chest before you resolve whatever needs to be resolved. 

- He doesn’t lose his temper with you very often. The very thought makes him sick so if he feels he’s like he’s going to snap, he’ll take a few moments to calm down on his own before attempting to fix things with you. It doesn’t take long for everything to be sorted out and for you to go back to your happy, in love selves. 

- He always tries his best to be there for you, offering you reassurance and a shoulder to cry on whenever you need. 

- He often treats you very gently even though he knows you won’t break. It’s just been drilled in his head that you treat a woman with care because they’re “gentle creatures”. 

- He’s very protective of you, he always makes sure you know that he’d never let anything happen to you. 

- He does everything he can to see you as much as possible especially after he gets accepted into the army.

- Sending each other letters when he goes away. 

- He keeps a picture of you on him at all times. He’s probably kissed it a few times. 

- He also has a necklace of yours that you gave to him when he first went away. It helps to keep him from missing you too much. Whenever he see’s it shining in his reflection he can’t help but feel better yet melancholy at the same time. 

- No matter how many times he has to do it, saying goodbye never gets any easier. He hates having to leave you, not being able to see you for such long lengths of time is torture. 

- He always promises to come back as soon as possible and you hold him to that promise, saying you’ll drag him back yourself if you have to. 

- Having your entire world shatter around you when you receive the news of his death. You bawl your eyes out for weeks, not being able to believe that it’s true. 

- Thinking you’ve died and went to heaven when he arrives at your door safe and sound. All you can do is fall into his arms and refuse to let go. Nothing will ever top the feeling of getting him back. 

-  Constant “I love you’s” not a day goes by when he doesn’t say it to you, at least when you’re together in person. He can’t help but swoon every time you tell him the same, especially when you say it out of nowhere, 

- He dreams of settling down with you, starting a family and living on a cozy little farm together. A future with fields of green, laughter and love. What more could a man ask for? 

[yunawrites]

Panties Off (Steve Rogers)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Female OC

Summary: Steve has been hiding a little secret.

Warnings: 18+. This is pure smut. Choking, spit, rough and dirty. Just filthy. I need to take a cold shower or something.

Word Count: 1542

A/N: This was for @sherrybaby14​’s Cutthroat Challenge. I requested with my personal blog @princess-yuna​ but posting it here. Valentine’s Day dinner with Steve Rogers. I had to think long and hard with what I wanted to do with this, and it just became filthy without any intention of it becoming this way. My mind just went into the gutter with it. I was going to make it funny, but this came out better than I expected it to.

Sabotage one: Steve has to have a giant collection of women’s panties. Sabotage two: can’t use the word “you” or “you’re” at all.

Hope you enjoy this!

Steve was a romantic man that liked candlelit dinners and loving gestures. Valentine’s Day was one of those days that the man romanced his way into hearts and dived in between the sheets for dessert. The dinner was full of innuendos, gentle caresses, and gleeful laughter. His eyes danced over the outfit she wore, a dress that showed off the cleavage of her breasts and put long legs on display. He drooled as he thought over what was underneath. Would it be lace? Would it be satin? Everything was to his imagination.

After dinner he dived in, not caring that he had actual dessert of chocolate dipped fruit waiting in the fridge. He wooed her into his bedroom with his lips attached to her neck as he backed her up to his bed. His fingers tangled into her hair, pulling her head back in a moment of passion to be able to latch his lips to the column of her throat. He could feel the moan vibrate through her throat encourage him to leave little love bites on her skin. His other hand worked on the zipper of the back of her tight red dress, pulling it down to get her out of the clothing.

The dress was tugged down off her body revealing delicious curves, and more importantly, revealing the red lace lingerie set that made him ogle. That pretty little set would have to come off. His hands went behind her, unclasping the bra that pushed her breasts up and pulled it off her body, dropping that to the ground. He smirked after ogling some more and pushed her down onto the bed that made her land on her back with a soft bounce that made her giggle. His shirt was unbuttoned to reveal those delicious muscles that she always loved to see, making her lick her lips because she couldn’t wait to get her lips on him. 

His pants were still on as he crawled on top of her. Leaning down, he passionately kissed her that made her mind dizzy and he swallowed the soft gasp when his fingers gently pinched her nipple after a firm grope. His lips trailed down her body, leaving gentle nips here and there, kissing down to her navel and down to her hips. Fingers hooked into her lace panties, pulling them down her legs and off her body completely.

“I’m keeping these,” he told her, and she didn’t know why seeing him sniff her panties made her absolutely weak. He tucked the fabric into his back pocket for safe keeping before he dived in. Lips devoured her pussy like it was the last meal he would be receiving making it seem like he didn’t just have dinner, and she moaned underneath him. Her leg was tossed over his shoulder as sucked and licked her clit, his fingers sliding in expertly and making her quake.

“Steve,” she moaned out as her hand grasped his hair. She cursed under her breath as she felt the first round of many orgasms hit her blindly, making her gasp for air like she had been underwater. He chuckled as he slurped up what she gave him, dragging his tongue up across her bud before looking at her. Her legs were shaking, and her body twitched in the afterglow of her first quaking release.

It was filthy when he brought his hand to her lips, sticking the three fingers he used on her into her mouth to let her suck. He moaned as her tongue swirled around his fingers as they made eye contact, her hand holding onto his wrist. God, he couldn’t kick his pants off quick enough. Quickly he unbuckled his pants, unzipping it enough, and he got in between her legs to roughly thrust into her.

She moaned as his full length drilled into her, muffled by his fingers in her mouth. Absolutely filthy as her spit dripped from her mouth and he dragged his fingers out, messing up the red lipstick on her lips by smearing it. “Fuck,” she gasped before his hand went around her neck as he thrust harshly into her. 

“What did I say about language?” He taunted with a low chuckle as he fucked her. 

He wasn’t sure what came over him, but he needed it rough and hard. Her body agreed as she shook and trembled underneath him, feeling the onslaught of pleasure shaking through her body. A pleasurable grunt came from her as he released her throat, making her suck in air. His lips attached to the side of her neck as he continued to thrust with his pants barely off his legs. He wanted her to absolutely be wrecked and at the rate they were going, especially after feeling her second orgasm, he would be successful.

Steve stood in his walk-in closet, rubbing his chin as he looked down at an open drawer. His eyes gazed upon an assortment of panties that were neatly placed inside as he rubbed his chin. His “conquest” drawer, as he called it. No one knew that Captain America kept trophies of the women he had in his bed. However, he wasn’t sure if she was just a conquest. She had been more than that. The only woman that made him kept going back because she was everything that he needed. 

He had at least ten of her panties in his drawer when he had wished he had more. She never asked why he took them but only complained that she was running out of her good lingerie because of him. That’s when he started to replace them so she could wear her matching sets again without the risk of him taking her panties when he already had them. Lingerie wasn’t cheap, he knew that, but damn it was pretty when he had them in his drawer.

“Steve?” he heard her say from the doorway, making him close the drawer quickly and look up at her. He gawked, seeing her in a new set of baby blue and white lace. A lump was in his throat and he gulped as she stepped to him. His mouth was dry as she stepped toward him with a knowing smirk, her hand sliding down his arm and to his balled-up fist that had her red panties firmly in it. 

“I can explain,” he offered, but she shook her head as she took it from him. Reaching back to open the drawer that he had just closed and placed it inside before looking back at him. 

“I have known for weeks,” she told him nonchalantly. She brought her hands to his chest, pushing him to sit down on the cushioned circular seat that was in the middle of the closet. “Remember when I was looking for a towel a few weeks ago?” He gave a timid nod as he remembered, and she grinned in response. “I found that collection, and I was surprised at first. Was I mad? No.” 

Her legs went to straddle him on the cushioned seat, running her fingers through his hair and tugged his head back to press a kiss to his throat. He was putty underneath her as he placed his hands on her hips. Even when he was confused, he was aroused. The fact that she wasn’t mad at his collection of panties after knowing for weeks made him realize that he found someone that he wanted to spend more time with. “And why’s that, sweetheart?” He had to ask. Why hadn’t she been mad at him? Any normal woman would go ballistic with him if they knew, but he never saw the same woman twice with the exception of the woman straddling him now. 

“Because I made it a challenge. I want my panties to be the only one in Captain America’s drawer and that’s why I have come prepared,” she whispered in his ear before biting his earlobe as she let go of his hair. He felt a sensation go up his spine and he gripped onto her hips. When she pulled back to look at him with a grin, she tilted her head to the side and looked at him innocently. “I brought at least six more pairs just so they can be taken off and put in that drawer this whole weekend as a Valentine’s gift,” she told him.

He looked into her eyes, trying to find any hint of lying. When there was none, he chuckled as he shook his head. God, he was lucky. This was why he wanted to keep her because she had been full of surprises. His fingers hooked into the sides of her panties, running his fingers along the hem playfully. “I think we’ll have to have sex at least a hundred times to fill that drawer,” he mentioned. His hand slid down the front of her panties, sliding his finger through her sex and feeling how wet she was. 

“I never back down from a challenge,” she responded with a small moan escaping her throat as his finger slid into her. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he told her with a charming grin before giving her a firm smack on her bottom that made her gasp in surprise, “Now let’s get these panties off.”

[paint-pilot]

shit it’s been a second, guess it’s time to update again

edit: holy christ this is long, i’m gonna readmore it. tl:dr tyler has many badweird feelings but is getting through it. fun body changes, including hair growth and an unexpectedly nice voice. surgery and legal matters are Annoying. tw for menstruation

it is truly bizarre to think that i’ll have been five months on t in a little under two weeks. another month after that and it’s half a year. it’s uhh...weird. quarantine has just made this all feel weird. it’s like i fast-forwarded through this whole journey i was supposed to go on i guess? like i got randomly torn out of my life one day in march with no warning and then just as suddenly got spat out in august with a new life - new name, new face, new major, new identity - and no transitional period whatsoever. my classmates, my professors, my students, they all have only known me as tyler. and only ever will know me as tyler. and that’s great! it’s great, and i’m truly just blown away by how markedly easy it’s been and how weirdly good my timing was in transitioning. but it almost feels like i’m still a ways behind everyone else, i guess. i’ve spent so much of my life hiding, and lying through my teeth, and covering my ass every second of every day to protect myself, and i don’t have to do that anymore but the instinct is 100% still there and that honestly doesn’t feel good. of course i’m not making any of it up - i’m happier now than i’ve ever been, and i know i’m making the right choice - but it still persistently keeps feeling that way.

it’s just difficult, i think, to balance wanting to be read as male (and, to a large extent, wanting to keep my transness hidden both for safety reasons and so people don’t start treating me differently) and finding it difficult to hide this truly massive life change that, like, four people are really seeing anything of. and y’all, i guess, lol. it’s one thing to talk about all this in therapy, but it’s another entirely to just be able to share it with strangers and not worry about it being weird.

i was writing this with the intent of it being a mostly happy update but i guess there is some negativity boiling up so. gotta be honest, i guess? there’s a lot of fun trauma stuff i’ve been going through lately that i won’t get into but it’s culminated with this bullshit in this really fun way where my mom gets upset because i get kind of uncomfortable when she shows me childhood photos or tells stories about me as a little kid and then i just break down for reasons i really can’t discern. i’m going to try and articulate this, and who knows how messy it’s going to get, so i apologize if it gets kind of incoherent from here on out. as far as i can tell the root thing that she really gets upset about is that i’ve “thrown away” my whole previous identity. like, not a direct quote, but “you can’t just pretend [deadname] never existed. because she did, for a long time.” and...sure, i guess. i know this has been hard on my mom. i know she was raised in a conservative family, and while she has worked hard to adopt an accepting and open mindset she still doesn’t 100% grasp all of it and will make mistakes. i’ve made my peace with that. and yet. it’s not so much, really, that i was this other person and then became tyler, y’know? tyler did not appear suddenly two years ago where she once stood. tyler put on a mask, even before he knew he was tyler, because tyler was scared and ashamed but people seemed to like her and, for a time, she was an easy person to be. and i hated her. that is so fucking scary for me to say, and i’m not sure i’ve admitted that until literally right this second, but i did. not because she was a bad person. because she had a voice and a face and a body that i hated. because people saw her and assumed they knew me. because even she had many faces, because there was no real base or identity to her, just traits designed to paint a pretty picture and make people like her. because i knew, when i finally threw her away, people would miss her. compare me to her. expect me to be like her.

so i don’t know. i don’t have a satisfying way to wrap this up, because i honestly don’t know how to face this because i know it is absolutely not just the trans thing that created this situation. i’m kinda warring with myself, because i do kinda want to go back through this blog and delete photos of myself with long hair and whatever (because jesus, i’ve had this thing since i was like 14) but i genuinely don’t know if that’s healthy. i know i’m going back on my bullshit, fretting this way and that over whether something is “healthy” as though that’s an objective term without considering what’s going to make me happy, but honestly? i don’t know anymore. i keep sensing the mental block - the swathes of my childhood that i cannot recall, just vague, constant unease - and i don’t really know if i want to dig into all of that and learn what lies underneath because i’m sort of afraid of it. like i said, i’m happy now, happier than i’ve ever been, and i’d sort of like to just leave it like that. but i guess the length and tone of this post might argue otherwise.

anyways. anyways. enough mental health therapy, more actual hormone therapy updates since that’s what this goddamn thing is supposed to be i think? i’m finally starting to grow some noticeable hairs - my chin hair is coming back after my mom made me shave it before i left for school lol, as are a handful of mustache/lower lip/sideburn hairs. i keep feeling phantom bugs on my legs/feet and i’ve only just now recognized that that’s just leg hairs brushing against places i’m not used to. my appetite has picked up like absolute hell again, too, so i don’t know if i’m just having a metabolic spurt or what. also, i’ve started bruising more? idk what the hell that’s about - i fucking never bruise unless i’ve been hit Hard, and i kind of assumed testosterone would make you less likely to bruise, but then that’s probably just not related to the hormones at all. i was gonna put this in the tags but seeing as this post is already so long i might as well put a readmore and just put this here lol: my period is late, like, four days late, which is exceedingly unusual for me and might mean i’m finally done. or almost done. fingers crossed.

my voice has started to settle, it seems like. i popped out an e2 yesterday, which is Sick, but i’m not as focused on that anymore as i am on the actual quality of my tone. which is...good? i’m not just a baritone, i’m kind of a good one, at least it seems like. i’m really working right now on just getting familiar with my instrument - i’m second-guessing my pitch sensitivity a lot, but i think i really just need to drill and practice until everything starts feeling like second nature again. but since the musical didn’t happen for me, my coach wants to enter me in a classical solo competition next spring. so...no more retirement from competitive singing. i’m back! and thank god, because i’m starting to go crazy without being in musical work lol.

jesus fuck, i have a lot to say. i should probably split this into two posts but i don’t care. i am frustrated; i tried to get an appointment with a pro bono legal program for a name change, but it happened today and i wasn’t invited so apparently i’m on my own. and i’m frustrated. i’m trying to look at internships and shit for next summer, but i kind of can’t apply right now because my legal name and sex don’t line up with my presentation, and i don’t really know how easy it is to get away with that in this day and age and especially in my field. genuinely, if anyone has any advice, i’d appreciate it. i don’t know how long this will take, i don’t know what the requirements are, i don’t know if i’m better off just applying now and hoping they don’t eliminate me before ever getting me an interview. and, of course, i’m working on getting consultations for top surgery, but i keep catching myself procrastinating that. which seems weird, but listen. i’ve said it before but i have to emphasize, i am capital-t Terrified of getting this surgery. i know i need to, i know it will make things better for me, i know now is the time, i know i hate binding and can’t really get away with not doing so, but jesus fuck i am so frightened of anesthesia it’s not even funny. but i guess i’m mostly just calling myself out here and telling myself to quit being a big baby, schedule the thing, and give myself a few months to prepare.

anyway. that’s all i have to say. i’d apologize for ranting, but honestly...i dunno. i know at the start of all this a handful of you requested these updates, and i have to imagine it’s because at least some of you are transitioning, are thinking of doing so, or know someone who is or will be soon. and i just hope someone out there can at least relate, because there honestly just aren’t a lot of comparable life changes out there. or maybe this is just therapeutic for me, that’s fine too.

i have two midterms next week i should be studying for. i should do that.

[aelsell]

there are Tolkien's latest thoughts, his best thoughts, and his published thoughts and these are not necessarily the same.

Tolkien's Legendarium

So quick (aka super long) PSA

I was recently (aka yesterday) approached by someone who said that the Tolkien fandom intimidated them. I was like wut? I have been in many fandoms in all my time here on tumblr and I must admit some are more welcoming than others. But this one? This one has always felt like a home to me. Maybe sometimes like a home where I am the estranged aunt everyone thinks crazy, but a home nonetheless, filled with kind and inspiring people. And talented, gosh they are all so talented... But while this is turning into an open love letter directed at the fandom in general, I realised that maybe we can be a little intimidating. I talked to this person a little about the subject, I saw others on the dash dealing with the same problem and I thought it was time for a nice little PSA regarding Canon. And the fact that Canon does not exist. As always, this is just my opinion and how I am handling the subject on my own blog. I would like to open it up for discussion so if you have something to add, something to say, something to shred into pieces, feel free to reblog / add your opinion / send me an anon with all the salt you got / ... You know the drill. tldr; So with all due respect, if the Professor himself was confused by the amount of output and world-building in the end, it is only fair if we allow each other to be confused by all that lore, too. You know nothing about Middle Earth? THAT’S AMAZING! That means I can TELL YOU. As long as you are kind, creative, and a little strange the Tolkien fandom is the right place for you! Tea is at four, so come in and get a little cozy. Don’t forget to bring your dragon though, it is not a real adventure if it does not have a dragon! And if you ever meet Christopher Tolkien himself, just look up at the sky and whisper Aiya earendil elenion ancalima! Because that man, who worked through all that lore and made it approachable, deserves all our praise!  Here’s the whole thing: 

Anyway, my friend said he was really happy to start interacting with Tolkien characters and people in this fandom, but felt “not worthy” because he “didn’t know enough about Middle Earth”. And I said, dude, with all due respect, I know next to nothing when it comes to Middle Earth. I read the Silmarillion. I forgot 80 % of it. I know the movies by heart, I watched them over and over again in the last, what?, 18 years or so, I have friends who are almost fluent in Elvish, the Hobbit was one of the first fantasy books I read as a child and have read countless times after, I spent two hours, once, on a train, making sure we got a freakin sword home safely... So long story short, I can proudly say I am a Tolkien Nerd... But given the large body of work? The huge context in which you can see every story? The small details? I know nothing. I can spend hours talking about Dale, or Isildur’s sons, or any other topic that means something to me but the moment you start talking about Feanor or Morgoth or any other part of the story I haven’t read in some time? I am lost. 

And let’s be real here, we all are. Everyone knows something about some part of Middle Earth, but not much about a different part of it. And that’s the beauty of it. That’s the reason I can, after almost six years on this blog, still discover and enjoy and be surprised. Only today, while researching names, I learned that Elanor Gardner is Sam and Rosie’s first daughter and named after a flower in Lothlorien. How cute is that? 

There was once a post going around  - I cannot find it any longer - that said something along the lines of how funny it is that other fandoms have book canon vs movie canon discussions. And we? We have book canon, movie canon (Peter Jackson movies as well as the old animated movie I adored as a kid, and soon the Amazon series), Tolkien changed that later - canon, Tolkien wanted to change that later - canon, Tolkien once told C.S. Lewis about this in a letter - canon, they found this version in his attic decades later - canon. Take the story of Beren & Luthien! Which canon do you use? The early story in verse form? Tolkien’s prose attempt? If you take into account all the changes and different versions of the story you end up lost. All that is important is the main details, for they stay the same. (First, everything is better if you have a dog as a friend, second, Luthien is badass.) Seriously, the Professor worked on this for decades and if I look back on this blog and the last 5 years, I am already lost. Tolkien had so much to tell us and his work is a gift not just for us but for generations to come. And we shall continue to discover new sides and aspects to his work, even a hundred years after he first started to put pen to paper.

And Tolkien was a nerd. A big nerd. He was the professor, fluent in both ancient Greek as well as Latin, whose colleagues hid from him in the uni hallways because “duh, I cannot be bothered having a conversation in Latin AGAIN”, he was strange, he was kind, he was loving and creative. And that is why he was able to give us such an amazing gift. He had a diary that he wrote in Elvish, but as he was working on the language it progressed and later on he looked back at the pages he had written and he could not understand them, because they were so different from the language he was using now. Imagine that!

[sugapop-rp]

*:･ﾟƜιѕнℓιѕтѕ Oƒ Ɯιѕнєѕ

              ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ hi, hi! tis bunny anna here and i thought i would decide to make a little wishlist for my muses! i figured this might be handy for in the future because who knows right? so read below to see what i have in mind for my muse beans and if you are interested, please like this post and/or send me a message so we can chit chat about them :) 

note:you do not have to be mutuals with me to do any of this (obviously lol), you can be a random peep passing by that is curious and that’s cool with me! you liking this means i shall be sending you a message instead thus make sure there is a way for me to do that (dm or ask). this will be also updated as time goes on depending on what new idea/muse i may have at the time

Choi Ha-joon, 26 and is an elementary school teacher

“muse a sings like an angel but is really shy so they only sing in the shower. everyday,muse b, who is their neighbor, listens to their singing and thinks muse a is actually a professional singer. one day they meet at the elevator of their building and muse b really wants to ask for muse a to sing a song for them, or just compliment them. but how will they do so without making things awkward? and to top this situation, muse a is also a lotattractive.“

give me that cliche old high school lovers see each other again after school by accident, the feels hit them once again and oof. make it angsty, make it fluffy, idc just give me some of that!

ha-joon is a book lover so what if ha-joon keeps coming to this book store that also involves your muse. they get to know each other for their enjoyment of books but the plot twist of this all is that ha-joon doens’t know your muse is not only an author but one of ha-joon’s favorite writers!

you left your USB flash drive in the library computer and i had to go through your files to figure out who you are and i ended up reading the entirety of this book you’re working on and wow you’re actually really good???? 

Kris Yamada, 26 and is an assassin

so lowkey when i made kris i got a bit inspired by the video game “assassin’s creed” so would be interested to do something loosely based around that. something like say your muse is working for the enemy organization that kris’s order doesn’t like. they meet and get closer (friendship or romantic, doesn’t matter) and go from there? very basic idea i know lol but can be fun i think!

give me assasin buddies, bro this is something that kris is in need of lol. sure he can be like a grouch sometimes but he knows how to have fun! he used to live the wild life so let’s do some wild friend antics lol

speaking of used too’s...why not bring something back from the past for kris?  say maybe an old friend from kirs’s childhood? they can maybe meet on the street one day and they may want to ask questions because of kris suddenly dropping all contact? or we could do the more cliche idea of said friend is now a target and oops, now kris is stuck in an oopsie :’)

Song "Hayes" Hyeok, 26 and is an indie music producer. 

hayes doesn’t have the best relationship with his parents (this can be read in his bio here) so maybe one day his parents may want to do a surprise visit because he does have good contact with his sister and she praised alot about him. his parents (specifically father) wants to see how “amazing hayes is doing”. cue hayes trying to make things not go south because his parents are not fans of the fact that hayes likes boys...so to see him having a boyfriend/fiance/husband may cause some problems to put it lightly. this could include hayes pretending not to be in a relationship with your muse or pretending they are just roommates. a bit of a heavy idea so far in this list, i know but it is something i would like to explore for hayes. 

rival music producers, just give me some of that drama lol

a mentor type friendship where hayes could take in your muse under his wing to help them out in the music scene

“🌟–– we had a really ugly break-up and didn’t talk for a long time but oh hey, you’re at this party too and we’ve had a few drinks and now we’re kissing and … oh, all that wasn’t supposed to happen tonight but we’re sort of on better terms now and yikes!!! i might be falling for you again …”

“muse a is in an accident which leaves them without memory, and muse b had been on their way to break things off with their beloved muse a. when they arrive at the hospital the only thing muse a remembers is how in love they were with muse b, and muse b is forced to keep coming back to positive. muse b is trying to move on, trying to find a way to tell muse b that they want to leave them, but find themselves falling back in love withmuse a. muse a of course, eventually get their memories back, even the ones up until the last moments before the accident where they remember the fights and tension and out of the silence ask ‘youre leaving me arent you?’ but by this time muse b is entirely in love with muse a again, and muse a just feels hurt and decieved“

Sarla Dunnavant, 26 and is a businesswomen (no longer active)

give me that cliche idea of the businesswomen falling for their secretary or something similar, i’m weak for cliche’s and this one would be just fun as fudgecakes lmao.

enemies to lovers;your muse is a rival to sarla’s company and they sort of can’t stand each other ??? but like ??? respect each other at the same time ??? it’s weird but they think they cannot stand each other but one day during some business event, they find out they actually like each other and can get along (can be romantic or platonic)

based of this iconic post

ok hear me out...a sugar baby plot? it doesn’t have to be a schmexy plot either! it can be something like out of kindness (and boredom becuase what else can she do with her money) she will give gifts to your muse. like you want that fancy make up collection? alright, your college? paid off at the moment as we speak. want a lifetime supply of donuts? she can do just that. all she asks is to spend time with her and just chill out. 

Angelica Heartorne, 25 and is a vampire huntress

legit anything vampire stuff related. i am not going to be flippen picky. 

just because she IS  a vampire huntress doesn’t mean it has to be ONLY to vampires. she is multiverse so she can be a hunter for anything supernatural really. this can be something discussed for sure but she is versatile, she doesn’t have to stick to only human like leeches lmao.

a bit of a weird but funny idea that jsut came to mind? but what happens if angelica was dating someone right? but what if that person she was dating...was a vampire and she had no idea about this until by accident or something? please this sounds hilarious to me and would love to rp this out.

“ muse a enters a coffee shop and was in such a rush that she forgot her wallet, as she explains what happened to the worker and ask for them to cancel her order, then suddenly there’s a hand that hoovers over her head and money is slapped on the counter incoming muse b paying for her. muse a is like wHAT THE FUCK ! I AM AN INDEPENDENT WOMEN I DONT NEED ANYONE TO PAY FOR ME, but she turns around and meets eyes with muse b who is beyond attractive. muse a then stumbles and ask how she could repay muse b and he tells her to sit down and enjoy her coffee with him “

“you said you’d call me in the morning but the voicemail you left had her voice in the background”

“ Humans start out at birth with milk white blood. The more crimes they commit, the darker their blood becomes. One day, you meet your soulmate. Skip a few years, and things are amazing… Until your soulmate trips, falls, and exposes black blood… “

based off this post

Jeong Jin-Gi, 25 and is an indie artist

“ Don’t give me one-sided unrequited love, give me two-sided unwanted love. Both sides are deeply in love with the other and both sides are like ‘fuck, really?? them??? really?’ “

“ ok so hear a sister out… i want an actual HEART WRENCHING  celebrity  &  non - celebrity thread. like muse a meeting muse b in the most random place and muse b KNOWS  muse a is famous but they’re not gonna say anything but on the inside they’re secretly freaking out. but they get to talking  &  muse b kinda forgets that they are because they’re just so normal and they have so much fun talking to them,  and muse ahas a rich lifestyle  &  is the most popular person in the world,  yet the only thing they wanna do is be with muse b. but dating the most famous person ever comes with the DISADVANTAGES.  i want the ugly stans drilling them over dating their favorite star,  i want the paparazzi making up stories about muse b  &  giving the constant break up  -  conspiracy’s,  i want the late night drama filled phone  -  calls about “ maybe this is just too much for me  “  &  muse b seeing muse a in a new picture released with ANOTHER  apparent love interest,  and i want new songs released by muse a that’s a little  T O O   emotional to just be a careless piece of work.  i just want the constant back  &  forth between them  & them wondering if their love is strong enough to overcome the difficulties or if all they are is a love that was never meant to last. “

jin ain’t no angel, he’s a bit of a person with an addiction to drgs so give me anything surrounding that. dealers or pals that find out about his addiction, anything really. just want to dive deeper into this side of jin

“i’m trying to start a celebrity gossip blog and you are an effing trainwreck so now i’m lowkey stalking you in hopes of getting a humiliating story” au

plot idea : muse a was a punk, and muse b did ballet. what more can i say? muse a wanted muse b, but muse b would never that secretly she wanted muse a as well. all of muse b’s friends stuck up their nose because they had a problem with muse a’s baggy clothes. five years from now, muse b sits at home. feeding the baby they’re all alone. b turns on tv, and guess who she sees? muse a rocking on mtv.

James Yeeun, 22 and is an art student in college

“im gonna claw myself apart. we watch netflix together and i keep a respectful and responsible distance; you lean against me to pause the screen. ask if i want cookies. i can’t stop staring at your lips. what? i say. i knew what you’d asked me even as you ask again, i just don’t want the moment to end. we’re just friends. we’re just friends.”

okay but how about an “i’m in my twenties and sick of still being a virgin, so one night when i’m drunk i think it’s a good idea to dm my old celebrity crush who is no longer really that famous anyway and ask them to take my virginity – wait why did they just dm me back?? giving me their number?? i don’t even remember doing this” au

“You kissed me on the playground the day before you moved away in the 4th grade and now your dorm is right across the hall from mine” AU

would love to do something where james could realize he DOES like boys as well. this is something he isn’t sure off himself so i would like to dive into this background of james.

so i was watching tiktoks last night and i’ve came across this story time and would love a plot for it… so muse a had a bad childhood for varies of reasons one thing lead to another and they were kicked out of the house, so they ended up couch surfing.. this enters their fear of the dark because they would wake up in the middle of the night not knowing where they are and everything is just dark and scary, so they begin sleeping with night lights or any sort of light that they have. well moving into college means roommates and muse a is too embarrassed to mention how they’re scared of the dark to their roommate. so first night, muse a wakes up screaming and enters muse b aka their roommate into their room and they’re like ?? are you good? finally muse a breaks and tells muse b what happened to them and then next night muse a finds a night light in their room, however, that night they still wake up screaming. muse b wakes up as well and just tell them that they’re ok and that they got them.. second year of college goes by and they’re not roommates anymore. first night moving in, it happens again.. muse a wakes up screaming only to find that muse b texted them that ‘they’re in their new apartment and that everything is going to be okay.’ it could turn into beautiful friendship or maybe something more?? i just want it pls

Rose Price, 23 and is a rebel along with school drop out

lowkey i legit got inspired by the video game character “chloe” from “life is strange” but i decided to do my take of chloe if that makes sense so...rachel amber inspired plot xD to those that are a bit confused, rachel amber the character is someone chloe befriends during her time when life is a bit downhill to put it lightly. they get close (some would say even romantic) and up until the final years of high school...rachel is gone. now in the games, rachel isn’t alive BUT i was thinking why not twist this around? make said missing friend (this would be your muse) show up out of the blue? with no answer as to why they just “left” and simply goes back to how things were. 

“gimme muse a just finished their sentence in jail and they lost contact with most of the people in their former life. on the day of his release, the gate pulls back and their high school sweetheart who they lost contact with years ago muse b is in the parking lot. “

  “i drove two hours to the closest video rental store that’s still operating and you were checking out the only copy of the movie i was after“

“we both decided to take a [yoga/fencing/cooking etc] class and we’re the only two assholes not taking it seriously and everyone else is giving us dirty looks but we keep grinning over at each other“

jsut give me any fxf plot ideas man. i want rose to get some love :(

Daehwi Goe, 24 and is an indie video game creator/works at a cafe

" give me a plot where both muses are each other’s pen pals that end up falling in love through letters please. threads would be in letter format up until they finally meet each other. please. “

“ imagine that you’ve been stood up by your douche of a boyfriend on date night and the waitress keeps asking if you’re ready to order but you keep asking for more time hoping that he’s just late. people are starting to look at you with those apologetic looks like they know and you start to feel worse and worse about the whole situation but as you decide to just get up and leave, this boy you’ve never seen sits down explaining loudly “sorry i’m so late, babe, traffic is crazy right now.” and he quietly adds, “i’m Michael. just go with it, yeah? whoever didn’t bother to show up is a dick.” and so you do go with it because he’s being sweet and trying to save you (and plus he’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen) and as you’re leaving the restaurant after the best non-planned date ever, he asks you out for real this time. “

“ AFTER MONTHS YEARS OF REPORTING TO A JOB THAT ABSOLUTELY KILLS MY SOUL, I FINALLY QUIT! WITH NO BACKUP PLAN OR WAY TO PAY MY BILLS ONCE NEXT MONTH IS OVER, I WALKED DANCED OUT OF MY WORKPLACE WITH THE BIGGEST SMILE ON MY FACE.. BUT NOW REALITY IS SINKING IN, THAT I’VE JUST DONE SOMETHING CRAZY IMPULSIVE AND OMG YOU’RE WATCHING ME SPIRAL OVER WHAT A MISTAKE I’VE JUST MADE AND YOU’RE SO SWEET TO OFFER TO BUY ME A DRINK BECAUSE I SURE AF CANNOT AFFORD ONE. “

“we broke up right before a giant roadtrip our friends planned and we don’t want to bail on everyone and ruin the trip so yay, looks like we get to spend a five hour drive and a weekend in a cottage together.”

Adagio Seo, 20 and is a warlock

just give me that chilling adventure’s of sabrina plots man...it’s why adagio was even made lmao.

adagio while yes, i did made him specifically for that show universe, just like angelica he is mulitverse so he’s not off limits to that show only. if you want him to be in a harry potter au? cool with me. a normal college au? also cool with me. want to go full on twlight, even better lmao. just because he is mostly for the show, doesn’t mean he’s not expandable :)

“ does the “i slept with you the other day and i didnt know we had a mutual friend and now we’re sitting across each other for brunch and it’s awkward because i ran out when you were asleep” au exist bc i need that fic “

ok so adagio has an interest of necromancy but like the thing is he’s bad...like really bad at necromancy lmao (there’s a reason he skills in herbal) so like just give the whacky shiz that can happen when doing necromancy wrong. 

basically anything warlock/witch plots, throw them my way! want my wild warlock to have some love :(

Simone Hines, 22 and is a worker at the garden section of homdepot

the happy florist who delivers one flower to the boss of the hardcore law firm across the street everyday, just to make their day a little bit brighter

plot #001: in which muse a is really insecure and struggles with their self-esteem, so muse b, their best friend, starts secretly sending notes with all the reasons to love them.

plot #013: one day, muse a wakes up and finds themself to be in the future, seemingly married to their high school enemy, muse b.

any plot with a soft, sweet, submissive male that needs to be protected at all costs because he’s naive and doesn’t know how to speak up for himself with a girl that’s dominant, rough around the edges, not afraid of anything, and is ready to take on the world.

  tbh i just need a long distance relationship plot where they cry on skype bc they miss each other so much and they have passive aggressive texts bc of what’s on each others snapchat stories but then the fluffy moments when they see each other at the airport and all the desperate please don’t leave me again sex and i just need a long distance plot  

Levi Kim, 24 and owns his own cafe

highkey want a ‘someone wrote your phone number on the wall of a bathroom in my dorm with ‘call for a good time’ and i just texted you to let you know that i scribbled it out and oh wait you’re actually funny and easy to talk to and now we’re talking every day and i might have a tiny little crush on you even tho  i don’t even know your name’ plot

i got up at 2 am to get some snacks at the convenience store down the street and opened my door to find you trying to sleep on the floor of the hallway because your roommate has his fiancée over so i guess i’ll lend you my couch for the night AU

it’s 3 am and you’re blasting off classic rock at full volume and your music taste might be awesome but sOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP YOU SHITHEAD

utterly obsessed with the niche but incredibly romantic concept that is “late night radio show host falls hopelessly in love with and pines for recurring caller, oblivious to the fact that the person calling in whenever they’re on air is also in love with and pining for them after finding comfort in listening to their voice every night on their long commutes home”

Park Hades, 23 and is next in line for the Park corporations/modern day greek god hades

look i’m glad you have a healthy sex life and all but will you please try not to pierce a whole through my ceiling with your bed thanks

i have a policy of not giving my real name on dating apps and apparently you do the same. we have a good conversation so we decide to meet, but oh no … it turns out you’re my ex. yikes!!!

[ardenttheories]

You should make a post with how you came to your conclusions about what the classes represent

Most of my understanding of the Classes is based on what I could find from other Classpectors; reading and inferring from there is perhaps one of the best ways you can develop new ideas. I’ve essentially pooled together everything I’ve read combined with things those posts have perhaps touched on but never truly developed. 

Witch: 

Most Classpectors agree that Witches are rebellious, and that they tend to completely break the rules of their Aspect as a result. I mostly use Jade as my example of this because she’s the easiest one to see it with; she breaks the rules of Space and makes them her own by shrinking down planets that don’t turn into blackholes after a certain point. If you were to resize a planet in real life, you’d be completely fucking with the laws of physics, and disastrous effects would occur; Jade bypasses this by defining what these laws are and deciding that, hey, that law isn’t actually relevant to her! I ended up deciding that this was a “Control” class simply because to do this, Witches must have a hell of a lot of control over their Aspect. 

Heir: 

I diverge from a lot of Classpectors with this on a few points, I think? But I mostly used John to define what I thought it meant to be a Heir. They inherit their Aspect, and adhere to its rules, but control it incredibly well within those rules to make it suit them - though often without even realising it. John, for instance, has never really stepped out of the boundaries of what it means to control the Breeze, has never redefined what Breath is or even actively acknowledged that he’s doing these things, but his control is incredible; not only can he turn into the Breeze, but he can literally wield it like a weapon to drill a hole through Skaia itself and use it to move things as heavy as a car. His “Control” is much more passive than Jade’s, as it happens almost naturally as he works through the game, rather than because he looked at the Breeze and thought “huh. wonder what’d happen if i did this”. He just sort of does things and the Breeze bends to his desires without breaking its own rules - which makes him hella powerful still, but definitely much more passive than a Witch.

Seer: 

Seers are actually still kind of elusive to me, so I go mainly on what others have said, which is usually that Seers have to act on the things they see rather than simply advise people on it. They can’t just be informants, or just watch things as they happen; they need to really dive into it. They need to take what they’ve Learnt and put it to effective use themself, rather than relying on others to do all of the work for them. They’re, to me, one of the “Learn” classes (and the passive one, since they mostly observe their Aspect) because their whole purpose is to Seek their Aspect in its various forms and learn from what they See.

Mage: 

So I know that the way I view this seems to be pretty controversial? But I like to think that Mages Suffer and Experience at the same time - mostly because of how Sollux and Meulin act in the comic. It’s one of the Classes I used both research and my own interpretation for! 

Mages experience their Aspect in both good and bad forms, and become actual experts on the subject, which we see most with Sollux who is a complete whizz at anything to do with Code and Rules - two of Doom’s most predominant subsets - to such a degree that he creates a virus to destroy the universe. We also know that Mages suffer for this depth of information, as we can see Meulin actively suffering from Heart; she’s in two relationships that are fairly toxic for her, one of which has led to her own loss of hearing, but she also likely has an incredible understanding of what Heart is and how it can be used - and, yes, that totally means she’s fully aware of who has what soulmate outside of her own situation. 

Much like the Seer, their job is to just… act. They need to break their own cycle of suffering and use what they Know to help others rather than just keep all of that knowledge to themselves. It’s pretty obvious why this is a “Learn” class (through their active experiences with their Aspect, they Learn everything they need to know about it), although I have to admit that it’s kind of funny how this Active class’ challenge is to do something a bit more passive than the passive Seer’s challenge. 

Sylph and Maid: 

Again, mostly based on research rather than interpretation, but I also tend to contrast the two the most out of any other Class pair. Most of this was just a lot of reading! Sylphs are really good at giving advice, but tend to focus too much on helping other people - with the potential of helping too much, and overriding the person’s ability to learn and grow as a person, thus becoming reliant on the Sylph - and not enough on helping themself. Their challenge is to figure out that they NEED to take their own advice, and roll with it, because people will listen to them better if they lead by example and just provide a path for people to follow. 

Maids, on the other hand, rely on people to show them what their Aspect is and what it means, every little nook and cranny that exists as part of it, until they reach a point where they decide they’ve had enough and want to take control - thus stepping out of the shadows and into their own to decide what their Aspect means and why. This definitely sounds a bit like a Witch, and in a way I think it’s meant to! But Sylphs and Maids are very much “Healer” classes; all of their efforts are pooled into either Healing their aspect or Healing others with their Aspect. So while a Witch and Maid sound similar, it’s their purposes that really divide them. 

Thief: 

A mix of research and a mild obsession with Vriska. Obviously Thieves steal, and they steal for their own benefit - we see this with Vriska, stealing Luck from her enemies and using it to boost her own Luck - but I quickly realised that the Beta troll session was completely inundated with Information. They had so much information it was basically coming out of their ears; Rose’s FAQ, the puzzles on their walls, their (slightly more competent) Exiles, their seemingly more helpful consorts - all of it lead to an overabundance of Light. That’s what got me thinking that Thieves tend to show what a session has too much of, similar to how a Knight shows what the session lacks. 

You can even argue this for Meenah! Though they’re technically dead, their lives continue on endlessly in the dreambubbles; I’d say that’s a bit too much Life, considering it’s this abundance of Life that leads to Aranea formulating and acting on her Desires. So naturally Thieves come under the “Steal” Classes as the more active participant! 

Rogue: 

Rogues still confuse me, much like the Seers do. A lot of what I think about Rogues come from research, which means basically anything I say about them is rehashed from Dahni’s posts, or other Classpeting blogs. I can’t really add much else here, if I’m honest, except that Rogues definitely come under the “Steal” Classes as the passive counterpart due to their initial concern of lacking their Aspect, their Stealing of their Aspect for the benefit of others, and the pitfalls they face if they attempt to give too much of their Aspect to other people and don’t try to retain it for themselves. 

As a note, I also tend to accept the idea that Thieves have high confidence to cover up an actual lack of confidence. It suits well with the Rogue’s lacking confidence that they then gain over time. 

Knight and Page: 

This was another controversial one, and I think I got into an argument with someone over it (they were very adamant that they weren’t going to listen to what I had to say). I see these classes as the “Protector” classes, since the way they use their Classpects tends to be to Protect people or their Aspect. Dave, for instance, uses Time to Protect his friends from the severe lack of Time that exists within their session, and takes the brunt of their Endings himself to Protect them from their own ends (which we can see with Davesprite leaping back in time to ensure that John and Jade don’t die). 

Horuss uses Void to Protect himself from things he doesn’t want to see or hear; we see this most notably with the way he pretends not to know what Rufioh is trying to say when he attempts to bring up the idea of ending their relationship. Jake, too, uses Hope to protect himself; Brain Ghost Dirk is a pretty primary example of this, who ends up protecting Jake from Aranea. 

I also like to see these two as inverted Classes of Lack - where Knights think they lack their Aspect when they actually don’t, and Pages actually do lack their Aspect at first but pretend that they don’t. It made sense to me to come to this conclusion when considering that Jake tends to ghost Rage when he starts out the game, using the Doubt of others to Protect himself from situations he found uncomfortable or didn’t want to acknowledge. 

I also like to see the Knights as the passive Class - since their actions are very based around the Protection of others - and Pages as the active Class - since their actions are very based around the Protection of themselves. And just… generally the fact that Jake’s massive Hope explosion is a lot more active than Dave’s living a week in three days (or some similar timeframe) through the use of stable loops. 

Prince and Bard: 

Another bit of both for these! Princes are really the ones that started my whole T/R/F theory because of the disparity between Dirk and Bro, and the initial place where I decided to divide “Destroys with Aspect” and “Destroys Aspect”; Dirk’s actions are a lot more active and hands on than Gamzee’s are, with Dirk actively destroying Heart (such as by trying to puppeteer his friends into getting stronger, or through literally tearing out Souls) and Gamzee passively destroying with Rage (such as by using Karkat’s fear to get to Equius, Terezi’s Rage to get to Vriska, and Nepeta’s Rage at Equius’ death to get the better of her Impulses and catch her off guard). 

Princes always seem to focus more on the destruction of their Aspect to me, while Bards seem to focus more on destroying with it. I mostly got the idea of them being Ghosting Classes from other Classpectors - it’s a thing I adore, with my whole heart - and specifically I developed the idea of the Bardic Split from one of Dahni’s posts; she pointed out how Gamzee, I think, Splits because of Dave introduction the Doubt of his Belief, and that just seemed so poetically apt that I had to jump on it as soon as I could. Most of my ideas of Bards and their whims stemmed from there and, funnily enough, an obsession with Gamzee; we can see how his Aspect leads him around by the horns, and we can see pretty quickly that his challenge is to rein his Aspect in so he isn’t destroying for the sake of destruction. 

This was also based on what I’d already noticed with Dirk as a Prince! Dirk’s journey as a Prince of Heart goes from wanton destruction to a more controlled destruction; he’s not destroying Heart as a whole by late game, not destroying the Heart of himself or his friends - he’s destroying the negative subsections of Heart, or the parts of Heart in his enemies that most benefit the team. So I always adored the concept of Princes and Bards being “Destroyer” Classes, and developed on their passive “with Aspect” and “of Aspect” destructive properties from there. 

Lord and Muse: 

I wasn’t going to do this, but it’d be a good idea to explain it, I think; I completely bullshitted my way through a vaguely understandable explanation of the Lord and Muse Classes. We all know that they’re Masterclasses, and that Muses “Inspire” and Lords “Dominate”, so I collected that under the general umbrella of “Own” because I noticed that a lot of what our canon Lord and Muse do are based heavily on the powers of their Aspects overall; they Own their Aspect to such a degree that everything it encompasses is under their whim. This also led to the idea that the Masterclasses essentially contain an equal divide of the powers of the normal Classes; if you’re meant to have diversity of player style through the Classes, then the Masterclasses would be at a hideous disadvantage - unless they were every other class wrapped into two. 

It also explains why Lord English destroys Time but still adheres to the rules, and why Alternate Calliope advises Alpha Calliope to redefine what she wants Space to be. I also ended up trying to define what their challenges are based on what little we see of them in canon, which… ended up being harder to explain that I had thought; Calliope initially has no Space, and then meets a version of herself that has too much Space. She inspires others to create Space, and then inspires herself to do the same (in the form of Alternate Calliope). My logic with that was that Muses must usually flick between lacking their Aspect and having too much of it, and needing to find a stable middle ground while inspiring themself to act; they can’t let the session have too much, but they can’t let it have too little, either, and they need to learn to take part in what they’re doing because their every action is based heavily around their own concepts of right and wrong, of good and evil. 

Lords we know even less about. I pretty much based that around Lord English, and how I thought he’d be beneficial in a session, and what his drawback was; LE hoards all of his Aspect to himself and deprives every other session of it, then uses the Time he’s hoarded to destroy Time itself. So clearly the way to fix that is to teach him to share his Aspect more evenly, but still to dominate it; to act as he desires, but still give room for other people to grow, and to use his actions to help the group as a whole rather than just himself. So this one was entirely my own interpretation based on vague headcanons more than anything else! I kind of like it, though - and I like the concept that they’re “Own” Classes, as well as Masterclasses that encompass the capabilities of all other Classes as a whole. 

[professional-anti]

Chapter Seven: The Five-Dimensional Door

Before I start, I just want to say that I’m having so much fun with this blog, and thank you to everyone who is reading these snarks! You make my day <3 Okay, time for the good stuff.

Chapter 7: The Five-Dimensional Door

So we’re in Dory’s apartment, and it’s basically a stereotypical witchy apartment. Incense, star posters, you know the drill. They go about getting tea for themselves as if there aren’t more Nazgûl upstairs. Um, there’s a weird inversion of the Not Like Other Girls trope. Jace says he doesn’t want Earl Grey bc he hates bergamot and Clary’s like:

“You may be the only guy my age I’ve ever met who knows what bergamot is, much less that it’s in Earl Grey tea.”

“Yes, well,” Jace said, with a supercilious look, “I’m not like other guys.”

At least this isn’t predicated on sexist nonsense, but at the same time, it’s still Jace being annoying about how Special he is. Jace does have a nice moment right after when Clary tells him not to call her “Fray” (it reminds her of Simon) and he agrees immediately not to. But this is just basic human decency, and I hate that THIS is the nicest thing Jace has done for pages.

While Dory’s in the kitchen, Clary and Jace have a conversation filled with so much bullshit that I have to quote the whole thing:

She heard him drop the book back onto the shelf. “This must be the trash she keeps up front to impress credible mundanes,” he said, sounding disgusted. “There’s not one serious text here.”

“Just because it’s not the kind of magic you do—,” Clary began crossly.

He scowled furiously, silencing her. “I do not do magic,” he said. “Get that through your head: Human beings are not magic users. It’s part of what makes them human. Warlocks can only use magic because they have demon blood.”

Clary took a moment to process this. “But I’ve seen you use magic. You use enchanted weapons—”

“I use tools that are magical. And just to be able to do that, I have to undergo rigorous training. The rune tattoos on my skin protect me too. If you tried to use one of the seraph blades, for instance, it’d probably burn your skin, maybe kill you.”

“What if I got the tattoos?” Clary asked. “Could I use them then?”

“No,” Jace said crossly. “The Marks are only part of it. There are tests, ordeals, levels of training—look, just forget it, okay? Stay away from my blades. In fact, don’t touch any of my weapons without my permission.”

Okay. There’s a lot to unpack here. I barely know where to start. Let’s begin with the easiest thing: the word “crossly”. It’s used twice in one exchange, and since it’s such a unique word (for an American book, at least), it really gets repetitive. It also makes even more obvious that this is high-key Harry Potter fanfiction; JK uses “crossly” all the time, which makes sense BECAUSE SHE’S A BRITISH WRITER. When an American writer does this, it sounds like they’re trying to be British. I wonder why CC would do that…

Secondly, the way Jace treats Clary. He didn’t fully explain magic to her, and now he’s so epically pissed off when she doesn’t know all the minutia of the word. It’s ridiculous. “Get that through your head”??? I would slap a boy who said that to me, not fall in love with him. It’s really atrocious how Jace talks to Clary, and I’m mad.

Thirdly, this still sounds like magic to me. Shadowhunters are the only people who can use steles. Steles are basically wands, then, right? Harry Potter can’t do magic without a wand, either. So I’m still not convinced that Jace and co. aren’t doing magic. They’re the only people who can use steles, therefore they’re the only people who can use angel weapons, etc. etc. etc. Also, can someone PLEASE tell me who makes these weapons? That has to be done with magic.

Okay, I just googled it, and apparently a group of female Shadowhunters called the Iron Sisters make Shadowhunter weapons. How do they do this without magic???? This whole thing still sounds like magic, I’m not gonna lie.

Fourthly, Jace’s desire to distance himself so much from magic and Warlocks reads a lot like racism to me. Of course, this probably won’t be adressed ever.

We good? We good.

Dory absolutely murders Jace:

“If you were have as funny as you thought you were, my boy, you’d be twice as funny as you are.”

Go OFF, Dory. And Jace is rude to Dory some more (Dory is HOSTING them and giving them food, he could be a little nicer I swear to Gd) and then calls Dory a liar. Dory responds that she’s not a Warlock but her mother was, and Jace says that’s not true bc Warlocks are half-human and half-demon and can’t have kids and Clary says “Like mules” and Jace says “Your knowledge of livestock is astounding” and do you guys see why I hate him??

Jace explaisn that Warlocks are the strongest of all Downworlders bc they have a direct demon parent, but that all Downworlders have demon blood. Vampires and werewolves have demon infections and faeries are either fallen angels or half-demon and half-angel. Dorothea explains that she was adopted by a warlock in order to “watch and guard.”

Oh. Ugh. Dory compliments Clary’s appetite and Clary thinks about Isabelle and feels fat. It’s just some gross girl-fighting-girl nonsense, and Clary is basically feeling shamed for eating a lot of mini sandwiches when she hasn’t eaten for at least a whole day. There was no need to include this in here.

Dory reads Jace’s future, and it’s all generic stuff that is supposed to be Meaningful. Then she tries to read Clary’s, but can’t make sense of it. She asks Clary if there’s a spell in place to repress her memories, and Clary (being awfully bold, if you ask me) says “No, of course not” even though there’s so much stuff that could have been hidden from her. She just learned she’s a Shadowhunter and that her mom’s been lying to her, why would she dismiss this out of hand? Jace agrees with Dory, for once. There’s some truly awful banter, and then Dory pulls out her tarot cards and tells Clary to pick one. She ends up with the Ace of Cups, or, as Dory explains, “The love card.” Apparently Clary’s mom painted these cards. Blah blah blah I’m bored.

Dory gives some backstory; in exchange for favors from Jocelyn, she’d spill the tea on the Downworlders and look out for Valentine. And, you guys aren’t gonna believe this…Jocelyn was a Shadowhunter…

Ik, ik. I’m having trouble comprehending it, too. This twist was just SUCH a twist, you know?? Clary freaks the fuck out for maybe the millionth time. Jace and Dory fight bc she’s basically running a safe-house for Downworlders on the run and Jace is like “Downworlders suck” (gotta love that racism your Love Interest espouses) and accuses Dory that she’s only running the house for the money. We get a glimpse of Dory’s gold molars, so maybe we’re supposed to think that means she’s rich? But I’m pretty sure the most expensive tooth fillings are composite bc they’re tooth-colored.

Jace threatens to call the Clave aka the cops bc Downworlders can’t have anything nice I guess. Then they find a weird-looking door, which Jace calls a Portal. You can tell it’s Important bc of the Capitilization. It leads to anywhere you want to go. Clary proves that she can’t think a single solitary step ahead bc she leaps out of the door to see where her mother would have gone. I guess this is like a flue powder situation?

Chapter seven draws to a merciful close. I’m going to go take a nap.

[allenmendezsr]

Adult Guitar Lessons

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Most of them had the desire to learn how to play guitar, they simply lacked “focus“.

…Finally Rockin’…at 59!…

When I was about 12 I had visions of being a rock star like so many during the time of the British invasion. As I got older, life got in the way, and even though I thought of being that rock star I never was able to pursue my dreams. My wife knew of my younger dreams and encouraged me to start playing again which I did a little but I wanted to play the guitar the right way, not struggle with trying to read music, learn the chords, make the progressions from chord to chord without the frustration. I started looking online for guitar lesson information and found alot of sites,but none seemed to be in the business of teaching – only selling – except one, Adult Guitar Lessons. I was a bit apprehensive at first but I joined after being impressed with what the site contained. It was so loaded with information and sharing, genuine in a way that only a person that loves what he does is willing to give to others that have the desire as well.

I want to tell you I have enjoyed every minute of my lessons and practice. I can’t wait to take another lesson or practice every chance I get. I have slowed my lessons a bit simply because I want to be good at playing guitar and want every note to be as clear and beautiful sounding as it can be and the progressions to be smooth. Who knows maybe now at 59 I am on my way to being that rock star I only have been able to dream about.

Since becoming a member of Adult Guitar Lessons, I have talked to many people interested in learning to play with the same story as mine, being told to me, and trust me when I say I have recommended everyone of them to you.

Fred W. – Florida

Can you imagine how quickly you’ll be playing guitar by having someone who’s “been there”, literally reach out, take you by the hand and show you exactly what to do, and how to do it?

I would’ve given anything to have had a course like this back in the beginning. There’s no telling how much faster my career would have taken off.

The great thing is, you don’t have to wait. You don’t have to beat your brains out struggling to learn every note, lick, riff, chord and concept. I’m going to show you everything!

What’s more, I’m going to show you how easy and fun it can be to learn guitar…and how fast you can be playing. I’ll quickly teach you things on the guitar that literally took me years of hard work to figure out! Things like…

How to learn to play guitar by “ear” and by “feel“… the natural way

The few most important scale “patterns“ that will unlock the mysteries to playing solos

How to learn songs from just listening to the recording

Shortcuts to identifying, and playing, any chord progression

Secrets to easily form chords anywhere on the guitar

…And you won’t have to devote hours upon hours to practice. With only 10 minutes or so a day you’ll be playing songs on the guitar by your favorite artists – in no time at all!

Are you a Beatles fan? How about Eric Clapton, Pink Floyd, Johnny Cash, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Joe Cocker, Paul Simon, The Blues Brothers, Chuck Berry, The Animals, BTO, The Kinks, Dwight Yoakam, or Marshall Tucker?

Did you ever believe you’d be able to play songs on the guitar by all these (and more) top artists of our generation? 

…You will!…And Faster Than You Think!

Imagine the look on the faces of your friends and family as you’re jamming away on songs by many of these artists within your first 30 days on the guitar!

Many new guitar students encounter some challenges early in the game. Some even give up the guitar altogether in frustration, but that won’t be you. With this course you will learn how to overcome, with ease, some of the most common obstacles that face guitarists in the beginning.

• Never again struggle to form chords and make them sound clear

• Teach your fingers how to play notes with no string muting or fret buzz

• Learn strumming techniques that will have you sounding like a pro

• Improve your timing and master complex rhythms

• Change chords smoothly and seamlessly

• Learn the #1 secret to better barre chords

• Build hand and finger strength, and reduce forearm fatigue  

What Our Members Say…

…It Makes All The Difference!…

I searched the net and after searching, found this site which for me was easy to follow. I have all the lessons at my disposal, I can go as fast as I want, even go back if I wish. Plus there are the individual emails and videos. And because I have it installed on my net book, I take my guitar and tutor with me wherever and whenever I wish.  Plenty of encouragement from Keith when its needed, more like an old buddy than a tutor, it makes all the difference.

Davey M. – Doncaster, England

Easier Every Time I Pick Up The Guitar…

Hi Keith

I just want to let you know that I am enjoying the Adult Guitar lessons and I am finding it easier every time I pick up the guitar. What I enjoy the most is I have the help I need just by logging into your site and it is there when I need it. Also the quick response to my questions from you.

Thanks again.

Dan A.

…Professional Help…

Hi Keith, I’m sending this to thank you for all of your professional help. When I started with the guitar I didn’t think it was my thing to do. I went on-line to find some help and I ran across your web-site for Adult Guitar Lessons. It was not easy to get the chords to sound clear, but with you available through email conversations I can now do the C-A-G-E-D chords with no problem. Thank you so much for the encouragement.

Take Care and GOD Bless,

Brother L.

Precise, Direct Instruction…

Keith,

Your course was just  what i was looking for. Precise, direct instruction with excellent tab graphics, and a vibe from you that comes through that you are caring and sincere and excited about teaching  us guitar. Thanx.

Ed B., Illinois

62 Year Old Blues Fan…

Hiya Keith,

I would just like to thank you and your team for giving me the enthusiasm to try once more with the guitar. I am a 62 yr old blues fan and have “messed about” with guitars for years without much success, with your course I find it very user friendly and in just a few short weeks am able to play some things that people actually recognize!

I find the video clips helpful and fun and I really like the fact that I can revisit any part of the course when it suits me.

You keep up the good work and I will keep practicing.

Cheers,  John S., Gt Manchester, England.

The one thing you must learn to play any chord, anywhere on the guitar

How to train your ear to hear any chord progression

How to use a simple 8 note pattern to figure out any chord progression, for any song

Learn to play a 12 bar blues progression in any key

The secret trick to playing a I, IV, V chord progression anywhere on the fret board

The hardest thing to overcome when learning guitar, and how to beat it

Uncover the mystery behind “Three Chords and the Truth”

How to “punch up the Dixie” in your Southern Rock songs

Discover the one absolute most important rhythm riff you will ever need to know on the guitar

…and Much More!

Is playing the guitar something you have always wanted to do but never found the time to learn? Have you reached a point in your life where you’ve finally decided to do something about it? Maybe you want to learn how to play guitar so you can…

• Join a band and play on stage

• Become a songwriter and record your own music

• Play gigs as a solo performer

• Play with your church group or praise team

• Jam with friends in the garage

• Play songs for family and friends

• Play guitar for personal enjoyment, for therapy and stress relief

Whatever direction you want to go in, this course will give you all the guitar skills and resources you need to accomplish all of your goals and rise to any level you desire on the guitar! This is, quite simply…

The Easiest and Fastest Way Available To Learn How To Play Guitar!

In addition…Did you know that….

It has been known for a long time that listening to music can result in positive health benefits by reducing blood pressure, stress and feelings of pain.

But did you know that recent studies show that playing music has positive and lasting health benefits in older adults?

Learning to play guitar can help with improved brain functions as shown by a Pennsylvania State University study. When the brain is engaged in 60 to 75 minute sessions of “exercise”, the results are improvement in mental processing and reasoning skills, which can increase cognitive skills as much as 5 years later in older adults.

In another study (Music Making and Wellness Project), it was shown that a group of retirees that took music lessons experienced:

• Increasing levels of human growth hormone (hGH)

• Decreases in Anxiety

• Reductions in Depression

• Reduction in Feelings of Loneliness

We all know that playing guitar is fun, and is good for the “soul”. But now we know it’s good for your health as well!

Making My Dream Come True (at 58 years young!)…

Hi Keith, First off I’d like to thank you so very much for making my dream come true. I always wanted to play guitar and try an be a good player like all my friends. Well I think the way I’m going now I will get pretty good as I can already play a number of country songs…To all you people who want to learn guitar at home and with all the help you need by just sending keith a note, he will be right there to help you at all times. Trust me , this is a great site if you really want to learn guitar. Good luck to all. 

Paul, Ontario, Canada.

P.S.– By the way I am 58 years young, I took Guitar lessons from two different teachers around 25 years ago at different intervals but have learnt a great deal more from Keith in this past month . Its because he takes his time and takes you step by step through everything, he explains it all right to a tee. (way to go Keith)

…Making Learning Guitar Fun…

Thanks for making learning guitar fun, I like the way you cut to the chase and get alot going so it does not become boring.  I am 65 years young and enjoy spending time playing.   Great lesson plan and you put alot on the plate, that way you can pick what you want to learn and have funtime at it. I recommend this lesson plan to anyone with interest to getting up and running fast, thanks again.

Bob,  Stuart Fl.

 …Personalized Touch…

 My opinion, I don’t think you could offer any better services than what you already provide.  Your personalized touch and attention to specific question and concerns is outstanding.  If I had a lot of money I would certainly recruit you for your dedication and passion to run a company.

Renea, Madison, Wisconsin

Adult Guitar Lessons is offered in an online, multi-media format including over 100 video lessons. No more keeping up with books that get torn or dog eared, and DVD’s that can get lost or scratched.

Each lesson is supported with detailed written explanations, music charts, chord charts, TAB’s and color pictures.

Simply log in to your personal account, anytime (24/7), even if it’s 2:00am in the morning, grab your guitar and start your lessons.

Video Lessons

Over 100 Video Guitar Lessons, ranging from Beginner Guitar, Intermediate Guitar, Lead Guitar and our popular Cool Lick Series. We don’t just show you – all lessons are fully explained in detail.

Music Charts

Easy to read charts help you map out songs in a clear cut, simple to understand format.

  TAB’s

Every guitar lick and riff is written out in Tablature (TAB) form, and explained in the videos

  Chord Diagrams

All chords are illustrated with diagrams and fingering instructions

  Text

Each lesson includes in-depth written explanations that compliment the videos

Lesson Goals:

♦ Learn the right hand down stroke technique ♦ Learn the right hand up stroke technique ♦ Become familiar with the music staff and notation ♦ Learn alternating down and up stroke pattern

Now that we know how to form the E chord we can begin working on learning strumming techniques.

Start by practicing down strokes as illustrated to the right. For now just work on getting smooth strokes with all 6 strings ringing clearly.

Do this slowly and keep a steady tempo to begin with and then you can gradually speed up.

Next we will work on up strokes. Again, we are not too concerned with speed at this stage. Just play them slow and at a steady tempo until you feel comfortable with the movement.

Now we can put this all together! In the following example we will practice alternating between down strokes and up strokes.

Color Pictures

Clearly demonstrating how to form chords and patterns

Jam Tips

Extra bits of helpful information relating to each lesson

Jam Tip!

We will talk a lot about visualization as a way of learning guitar fast. Take a moment and visualize the pattern of the E chord fingering so that you can recall it without looking at the diagram. I promise you will see this chord and chord pattern many times in the future!

Unlimited Email Support

You are never alone as a Full Access Member. We are always here to answer questions and explain techniques

Need Help?

Got a Question?

Lesson Help

Unlimited Course Updates

This one is really important! Because this course is online, as a Full Access Premier Member your membership never expires, and you will have unlimited access to all the course updates, improvements and new Cool Licks, automatically! 

Caution: Many online courses are delivered as a download and cannot be changed, updated or improved. Similarly, home study DVD and book courses cannot be updated as well, without re-ordering the course.

At Adult Guitar Lessons, we are continually adding new lessons and Cool Licks, making improvements, and updating – and you get them all every time you log in!

Most Comprehensive I have Seen…

Hey Keith, This is the most comprehensive and informative set of instructions I have ever seen and it is helping me greatly. I am actually a performing musician “one man band” and have been playing for over 30 years. I am mostly self taught and have been stuck in a rut for years…I am really enjoying the lessons.

Harry C., San Diego

Helpful and Easy to Follow…

Hi Keith & Staff. I want to let you know how helpful and easy to follow your lessons have been. I am 50 years old and always wanted to learn guitar. I never thought I could learn the basics so fast. I have my own business here in Australia and work long hours, even so I spend a least 45 minutes each evening practising using your tutorials.The way they are presented is first class.I know I still have a way to go but I know I will get there. So thank you for making a life long aim come to fruition. I would have no hesitation in recommending Adult Guitar Lessons to anyone wanting to learn guitar.

Regards, Joe A. Melbourne, Australia.

Far Superior…

Hi Keith. Thanks for your words of reassurance. Adult Guitar Lessons have well and truly exceeded my expectations.You are an excellent forum for learning to play guitar. The tutorials, licks and the email responses have been extremely helpful. From a beginners point of view your site is far superior to any other sites I had previously searched.

Gerry M. Utica, New York

Your path to finally becoming an accomplished guitar player is mapped out for you in step-by-step learning modules. Every lesson, technique and Cool Lick is accompanied by detailed videos that take all the guess work out of it for you. Starting from the beginning at day one, all the way through to learning the skills you need to become a lead guitarist!

Beginner Guitar Lessons – Start from scratch, even if you’ve never picked up a guitar before!

Intermediate Guitar Lessons – Take your guitar playing to the next level with more in-depth techniques and concepts

Lead Guitar 101 – A full “nuts & bolts” course on the mechanics of playing lead guitar and how to apply it to your solos

Cool Lick Series – An ever growing selection of licks and riffs to make your leads soar! Complete with videos and TAB’s

No need to get hung up on music “theory” and abstract concepts. You will learn how to play guitar… by really playing guitar! You’ll be amazed at how quickly you will be playing songs from “our generation” by artists and bands like…

• Eric Clapton

• The Romantics

• Van Halen

• Wild Cherry

• The Beatles

• Loggins & Messina

• The Kinks

• The Blues Brothers

• Georgia Satellites 

• Lynyrd Skynyrd

• The Animals

• Joe cocker

• Chuck Berry

• Dwight Yoakam

• Johnny Cash

• Pink Floyd

• Marshall Tucker

• BTO

Think learning guitar is hard or complicated? Think again! In just a very short amount of time you will not only understand the “why” – but you’ll also fully understand “how” to master the following concepts and techniques on the guitar:

• Major Open Chords

• Alternate Strum Patterns

• Chord Variations

• Naming Notes on the Neck

• Barre Chords

• Pull-Off’s

• Blues Rhythm Riffs

• Rock & Blues Scale Patterns

• Minor Open Chords

• Palm Muting

• Octaves

• Locating Notes Quickly

• Chord Roots

• Hammer-On’s

• 12 Bar Blues Progressons

•I, IV, V Chord Progressions

• 7th Chords

• Single Note Picking

• C-A-G-E-D Theory

• Chord Patterns 

• Scale Roots

• Slides

• Major Scale Patterns

• Double Note Slides

• Basic Strumming

• Alternate Bass Notes

• Naming Open Notes

• Scale Patterns

• Southern Rock Chords

• Triplets

• Pentatonic Minor Scales

• String Bending

…and Much, Much More!

Thanks A Million…

Hi Keith I have been a life time member now after getting the free lessons. I just have to say I am really enjoying the lessons. I have taken lessons before, but with yours, you are always there for me to go back to if I need the help. Your style really is making it a lot easier to learn how to play guitar. I have a few friends who play and I am now able to join in on some of their jam sessions.

This is great. Thanks a miilion. Walter M. Garden City Beach, SC

Teaching Methods are Awesome…

Well, I have to tell you.  Your teaching methods are awesome.  As well as your website.  I just started learning one of the pentatonic scales…I really cannot thank you enough for your getting right back to me. This alone makes me a solid fan of yours. I look forward to learning more from you. Take care.

Betty

T. Lititz, PA

Super Bonus #1 – One-on-One Guitar Coaching

The next best thing to having your own private guitar instructor! Stuck on a lesson, or have questions? Need more explanation on a guitar concept or technique? Your Full Access Premier Membership entitles you to unlimited email consultations whenever you need it.  You won’t ever feel like you’re out there “floating” around on your own!  

Super Bonus #2 – 10 Steps to Successful Songwriting

Don’t know a verse from a chorus, a bridge from a hook? This handy guide will give you all the insight you need to get your songs off the ground. Whether you want to write songs for you own personal pleasure, or if you have loftier goals of writing for the commercial market. These 10 important steps will get your songs going in the right direction

Super Bonus #3 – 15 Things You Have To Know About Playing In A Band

If you have ever considered getting on stage and making music with a group of other musicians, this is a must read. Even if you are just starting out on guitar, as you progress, you will probably start thinking about joining a band. Whether you want to play gigs in local venues, play with your church group or praise team, or hit the road in search of a label deal – you will need to know these 15 things before you hit the first note!

I want to take this offer one step further.

I’m going to give you a 100% RISK-FREE, 60-Day Money Back Guarantee.

You can’t lose! Consider this…

There is absolutely NO RISK with your Full Access Premier Membership to Adult Guitar Lessons.

Please pay attention to this part:

Join Adult Guitar Lessons today, follow the lessons, practice your guitar – and if you are not playing songs in the first 30 days, if you don’t think this is the best lesson program available, if you’re not 100% thrilled with your decision – simply send us an email within 60 days of joining for a complete refund of your investment. No questions asked!

What’s more, keep Super Bonus #2 and Super Bonus #3 as gifts from me for taking action and making the effort to finally start learning how to play the guitar. It’s a GUARANTEED GAIN no matter what you decide.

It will only be a loss if you don’t grab this opportunity today.

I Never Believed The Offer…

Thank you, Keith.  I am so impressed with your personal response to my concerns.  I really can’t believe you responded with such obvious concern. Honestly, when I signed up for your lessons, I never believed the offer we could email you with questions and have a personal response.  I just figured, if the videos give me some help-great. Thank you very much.

Renea   Effingham, IL

Down To Earth…

Hello Keith..Just wanted to say that I am enjoying your site and the way you teach your lessons. I have been on various sites and even have life time memberships on one, and yours is the only one I have complimented. That is due to the fact that the way you explain things is very down to earth…if anyone decides to use your instructional videos on your site they do not need to feel intimidated. Keep up the good work of making it easy too learn.

Kirk   Lakeland, FL

Private guitar lessons typically range from $25 to $30 per lesson. If you paid a private instructor for the over 100 lessons you get with AdultGuitarLessons.com you could easily spend over $2,500!

Home Study DVD and Book courses often cost as much as $150 to $200 and above. Plus you have to keep up with course materials that can be lost or scratched. And, they cannot be updated without re-ordering.

Many online courses charge monthly subscription fees of $10 to $20 making the cost of just one years worth of lessons as much as $120 to $240 or more!

Keeping all of that in mind, would this course be worth?…

$249.95…No

$149.95…No Way

$99.95…Not even close!

With AdultGuitarLessons.com your Full Access Premier Membership, which includes all the Beginner Guitar Lessons, Intermediate Guitar Lessons, Lead Guitar 101 Lessons, our popular “Cool Lick Series”, PLUS, Unlimited Course Updates, AND, Unlimited Email Coaching – for a small, one time investment of only $47 ! (Special Introductory Limited Offer) Your Membership Never Expires!

This special introductory offer of $47 (one time investment) for a Full Access Premier Membership is only available to new members and prices may increase without notice, so be sure to Act today!

Remember – Your Membership Never Expires!

Click Below To Place Your Secure Online Order

Instant Access, Even if it’s 3:00am in the morning!

Wouldn’t you love to be able to pull out your guitar and finally be able to sit down and play songs for your family and friends? Wouldn’t you love to be able to put your fingers on the fretboard and finally prove you can play that challenging chord progression, scale or lead riff that has always been “just beyond” your reach?

Picture yourself in 30 days from now (or less!), being able to play songs on the guitar by The Beatles, Eric Clapton, Johnny Cash, Loggins & Messina, and more!

One thing’s for sure though. If you don’t take action today, if you don’t decide to finally do something about it now – then 30 days from now you may be no closer to learning how to play guitar than you are today. 

…to this incredible offer. It’s a small matter and very reasonable, but may affect your decision. You see, this course is not for everyone. If you are afraid to put forth some effort, not a lot, but a little time every day, or each week – you will not see progress on the guitar. I am giving you all the keys to playing guitar quickly and easily with a minimal amount of effort, but there will be some effort required on your part. Most people understand this, but I don’t want to mislead you into thinking that simply purchasing a Full Access Membership will make you an accomplished guitar player. It won’t happen without the other half of the equation – you!

Let’s Start Playing Guitar Today!

Warmest Regards,

Keith Dean – Pro Instructor

P.S. – Don’t Forget Our NO-RISK Guarantee! Try us for 60 days and if you are not happy for any reason, just let me know for a Full Refund. No questions asked!

P.P.S. – Remember, with Full Access Membership “You Are Never Alone” with Unlimited Guitar Coaching. It’s just like having your own personal guitar mentor!

P.P.P.S. – Even if you decide not to continue with membership, Keep The Bonuses as our gift to you for giving us a try!

Adult Guitar Lessons is available online only – no need to wait for shipping…Start your guitar lessons today!

This special introductory offer of $47 (one time investment) for a Full Access Premier Membership is only available to new members and prices may increase without notice, so be sure to Act today!

Remember – Your Membership Never Expires!

Click Below To Place Your Secure Online Order

Instant Access, Even if it’s 3:00am in the morning!

1. AdultGuitarLessons is a comprehensive, multi-media online guitar lessons course that will provide you all the skills you need to become the best guitar player you can possibly be – starting today!

2. AdultGuitarLessons was designed specifically for the needs and goals of active adults with a busy lifestyle. It’s Guitar for Grownups! No kidstuff…

3. AdultGuitarLessons will teach you how to play songs that we grew up with, in all popular genres including – rock, pop, blues, country and southern rock.

4. AdultGuitarLessons was developed by a professional touring guitarist with over 30 years of stage, studio, songwriting and instructional experience.

5. AdultGuitarLessons is available in an online, multi-media format with powerful, detail packed videos, full written explanations, accompanied by chord diagrams, music charts, TABs, color pictures, Jam Tips, Lesson Goals and Summaries. Easy to follow and understand!

6. AdultGuitarLessons provides you with a Full Access Premier Membership that never expires so you can always have the latest course updates, new features and Cool Licks.

7. AdultGuitarLessons includes Unlimited Email Coaching so you are never alone!

8. AdultGuitarLessons is backed up by an unconditional, NO-RISK 60 Days, money back guarantee!

9. Playing guitar later in life can be Good For Your Health!  

This special introductory offer of $47 (one time investment) for a Full Access Premier Membership is only available to new members and prices may increase without notice, so be sure to Act today!

Remember – Your Membership Never Expires!

Click Below To Place Your Secure Online Order

Instant Access, Even if it’s 3:00am in the morning!

See you on the inside…

  Adult Guitar Lessons is available online only – no need to wait for shipping…Start your guitar lessons today!

[thank-your-lucky-stars]

The Roles of Fandom

Here is a little large guide to some of the roles people play within fandom.

[Note: I actually had the outline of this essay written for about a year, including most of the ‘roles’ listed in this post, but I have only now gotten around to writing this properly!]

I’ve been involved in several different fandoms since I first joined the World Wide Web back in 2002, with my first major fandom coming a few years later. As a result, this post is mainly based on my own experiences within fandom, although over the years I have had numerous conversations with numerous people who share my views about the mentality of fandom and the clear hierarchies, cliques and statuses, which have helped me broaden my mind and open my eyes to the reality of it all. It’s something I have always found fascinating, which is why I often analyse the goings on within fandoms to assess the clear roles most people often fall into.

I also feel I have the ability to see things from many different points of view, as I myself have been in several different roles in different fandoms over the years; I have been the new girl, I have been a popular blog with praise heaped upon me, I have been sucked into an unhealthy group (the Mean Girls - more later), I have entered an already established fandom and managed to climb up the ladder, I have watched a fandom fall apart due to trolls and bullies (which I also happened to be a victim of), and I have also been the lurker - the outsider looking in.  

As a result of this, I came to the conclusion a long time ago that the whole concept of fandom - any fandom - is a game. Everyone is playing, it’s just they may not realise it until they....stop playing. Hindsight can really open your eyes to your own behaviour - good or bad - and others’ behaviour too, and it can also teach you a lot about yourself. It has definitely taught me a lot about myself, and in order to write this post, I have had to look back at the certain roles that I myself have played since my first key fandom back in 2006. I have absolutely made mistakes and interacted with the wrong crowds, and there is a lot of stuff in my fandom history that makes me cringe on recollection, but it’s these experiences that have taught me what I know and are part of the reason why I find it all so fascinating; the mentality of it all, and what it can say about you and all of your peers who are generally just trying to bond over this thing you all love.

This post is looking at the specific roles you will find being played in each and every single fandom. It doesn’t matter if it’s a band’s fandom, a TV show, a film, a book - whatever it is, it is my belief that you will find these people (to varying degrees) in every single fandom.

Before I start, I want to clarify a few of things. First, (and I delve into this deeper at the end of the post), I know things aren’t always as black and white or as clear cut as they may appear when I’m talking about certain roles. For the purpose of this post, I’m not really discussing the grey-areas, as that would make this post about a million words longer and it’s long enough already!!

Secondly, there are absolutely “ranks” within each role I mention. There is definitely a scale from about 1-5 in each role, although I generally talk about the most “extreme” cases. 

Finally, I want to clarify what I mean when I talk about “damaging behaviour”, as this will come up several times in this post and I want it to be clear exactly what I’m talking about.

Disrespectful/Inappropriate fandom behaviour:

Stealing content - I have seen this in every fandom, where people will save/repost someone else’s work (gifs mainly, but also scans, edits, art or sometimes even text) without crediting the creator. Usually this can be resolved; newer fandom members might not understand general fandom etiquette and I have personally spoken to people who’ve done this who have been horrified to realise what they have done. Other’s, meanwhile, do not care, and will continue to steal and take credit for other people’s work. This is something that is definitely unacceptable (I have experienced this also!!).

Disrespecting other fandom members - this can come in many different forms.

Debate and having a difference of opinion is fine until Person A runs off and starts writing indirect, catty little posts about everyone who doesn’t share the same views as them, often without having an adult discussion/debate with these people first.

These posts generally only serve to make certain corners of the fandom feel bad or even shamed about feeling how they feel or thinking what they think and it is a form of disrespect that can often get overlooked by a lot of fandom members as the content is not always explicit (ie. they’re not always calling people names, and it’s generally about groups of people instead of just one person, so it doesn’t feel as “personal”). As is often the case with posts like those, it’s not what is actually said but it’s how it is said that can be damaging to fandom morale, and while everyone can snap and write something catty now and then, when it becomes a consistent thing that certain blogs keep doing, regardless of how people react, I know for a fact that this sort of behaviour has made people scared to speak their minds and has even made people leave fandoms all together. Whether the author of these catty indirect posts means to be as damaging as they often are is usually a mystery, depending on what “role” this blog fits into (more later). 

However, this can often escalate into more direct, personal and explicit disrespect which can later evolve into full-on trolling/bullying. For example, in a previous fandom I was involved in, Person A and Person B were having a discussion about a band member’s solo work. When Person B compared this band member’s solo work with some later tunes by the band he was once in, Person A called Person B a “dickhead” and blocked them before proceeding to write nasty bitch posts about how Person B was “fucking stupid” and “dumb” for comparing one piece of music to another.

These are just a few examples, so please bare that in mind or refer back to that when I mention “damaging behaviour*” during this post. 

Now that’s out of the way, let’s start!

The Popular Blogs

This is a pretty clear one, although there are several different kinds of popular blog. Generally, to be popular, these blogs tend to have at least a couple of the following;

They have been around a long time - often longer than most. 

They create a lot of quality content (art, fic, meta, in-depth text posts/analysis about the music/show/characters etc., memes, funny little text posts - you know the drill)

They have “connections” with the thing you love (ie. have met the band members/actors several times, have friends who work for or have connections to the people involved with the thing you love, etc etc.)

They use their voice and aren’t afraid to speak their mind.

The popular blogs tend to have quite big personalities, create content that gets widely spread, and are outspoken about anything and everything related to the thing you all love.

Climbing to the top of the fandom ladder isn’t always easy and can sometimes take a very long time to achieve depending on the size of the fandom. There are several different kinds of popular blogs, although the two most dominant seem to be those that are very approachable and express their views in a reasonable/respectful way, and those that don’t.

Certain blogs who rise through the fandom ranks quite quickly will get carried away with their new-found popularity. With the confidence their status gives them, they can often become a little careless with the way they put themselves across while their ego takes hold of them; confidence can swiftly turn into arrogance and this can sometimes make them an intimidating presence within the fandom and even a little unapproachable, although some fandom members will find this interesting or edgy - it becomes their USP (Unique Selling Point) that can differentiate them from other more down-to-earth popular blogs. You can generally spot these blogs by the way they engage and respond to people, and they often don’t bat an eyelid to praise or compliments. A lot of these people can slip into the “I am Better Than You” category.

For the most part though, popular blogs are generally pretty nice. As well as creating quality content or ticking any of the other boxes in the list above, a lot of popular blogs will be friendly and likeable. People may get intimidated by their status, which can be awkward for a friendly Popular Blog, as more often than not it’s other people that put them on such a high pedestal - even if they’re aware of their rank/popularity themselves.

This moves us onto the next category...

The “I Am Better Than You” Blogs

You know who they are. You may not know you know, but deep down....you know. The reasons people may think they are above you;

They have liked the thing longer than you

They’re already a well established/popular blog, and you may be a newbie

They have seen/met the band loads of times/have more merch than you

They have stalked met the actors/people connected with the show/movie

They create a lot of content which maybe you don’t. Or they believe their content is superior to yours/others.

There are also sub-categories within this as well;

“I am better than you because I have [insert one or more of the reasons above] and I won’t really associate with you because you’re not cool enough.”

“I am better than you because [insert reason] but I’m still a friendly person and I won’t talk down to you even though I am above you in the Fandom Ranks.”

Basically, there are people who sort of put themselves on a pedestal, or are indeed put on a pedestal by other people, but they can still be nice with it. I have personally encountered this many times. There are also those that are sort of unabashed with their “status”, and won’t really hide the fact that they think they’re above you. You can usually tell by seeing who else they interact with (people with equal or higher ranks), or by the way they respond to asks.

A lot of younger or maybe newer people in the fandom can often lavish praise onto these people. And note, not all of these people who feel this way also slip into the Popular Blog category (although a lot of them do) - some of these “I am Better Than You” blogs will actually isolate themselves to a small corner of the fandom in a way that makes them appear untouchable - people will come to them, but they will not go to anyone else. Because, you know, they’re too good for that.

I have also found that with a lot of these people, they will mainly receive anon’s instead of actually having people reveal themselves to them. I have strong reason to believe that many of the “anon” messages these people receive is actually them sending messages to themselves in order to boast about their most recent meeting with band member/actor/whoever, or their most recent purchase of expensive, hard-to-find merch. In one particular case in one fandom, there was a man who created multiple social media accounts to boost his own status/fan-page (which was a page mainly to show off his collection of [insert old 60s band] memorabilia), and I believe that this sort of thing happens to varying degrees across all social media. As this post is mainly focusing on fandom on tumblr, the anon option is definitely a tool a lot of these blogs use to help boost their status, by asking certain questions or heaping praise (or indeed hate, for attention) onto themselves to make them appear more popular than they actually are (if someone is constantly receiving hate and yet refuses to block/turn off anon, that is often a big red light).

Ultimately, there are the people that will never give much back to you even if you try really, really hard and praise them left right and centre, and there are those who will actually engage with you, be perfectly nice to you, and may even be friends with you - even though, ultimately, you know they do rank above you in the Fandom Hierarchy. Depending on how you view things, this can be totally fine. It’s just up the individual if they’re okay and comfortable with this. As I said at the start, Fandom is a game. If you can view it as such, then it can be easier to accept your lower “rank”. You’ve all seen the “I can’t believe [insert blog] follows me!” / “I still can’t believe [insert blog] knows who I am/talks to me!” posts. This speaks volumes and proves that it’s two-way street, and these posts help reinforce the Rank/Status mentality amongst fandom members - even if they don’t realise it. 

The “I’m just here to have a good time” Blogs

These people can often be a blessing. They can even be pretty damn popular, if not the most popular blog in fandom, because they just go about their business, being funny or charming, posting memes, making people smile, regardless of whatever drama or intense discussion is happening within fandom at the time. They’re not as clueless as they may appear; they know what’s what and who’s who, they know who’s trouble and will probably avoid the Mean Girls, but they also Don’t Get Involved™ in any major discussion/debate that is happening. (at least not publicly!)

Then there are those who maybe aren’t aware of the current drama; they’re in their own little bubble just doing their thing, living in ignorant bliss. They can often be the light within the darkness, the sun peaking through the clouds. A blessing!!!

The Fence Sitters

There are several different degrees of Fence Sitter. For the most part, the Fence Sitter is against drama and will not engage in any major debate, even if they have strong opinions on the subject. Some more confident Fence Sitters will sometimes add their two-pennies worth as long as there isn’t a major divide between views, but they generally keep quiet if things get particularly heated.

Many Fence Sitters will also turn a blind eye to damaging behaviour* within fandom and continue to support these blogs - mainly because they have a need to be friends with everyone. Some Fence Sitters might be fully aware that someone is trouble; a Mean Girl, for example, and may even tell people privately they think such-and-such is horrible, but will still heap praise onto them publicly - even if this person has been unpleasant to the Fence Sitter too!

This is a prime example of the game playing that can go on within fandom, and shows just how fake a lot of it can be. For the most part, the Fence Sitters are generally middle-of-the-road blogs who don’t say anything too outrageous themselves, appear to be sweeter-than-sweet and create decent to really good content. They want to rank higher, they’re insecure, they want that praise and validation; not just from the more likeable people within fandom, but from everyone. But being friends with everyone isn’t always possible, and as a result they can often end up finding themselves alienated from both “sides” of the fandom.

A lot of the time though, many of the Fence Sitters are just too nice for their own good - whether calculated or not - and generally have good intentions. Even if they could do with toughening up a little.

This brings me on to the next category:

The “I don’t think this is that deep” Blogs

These are probably in the best position. They don’t read into fandom politics, they ignore the hierarchy, they don’t care about status or who’s right or wrong. They don’t pay attention, because they don’t give a fuck, and god-damn I envy them. They just go about their business, not really interacting with many people, staying in their lane....they just take everything for what it is on the surface and each post as it comes. They don’t keep mental notes of who has said what or who is cool and who isn’t. They just....don’t give a shit. It’s shallow and it’s awesome. They don’t care if Person A has been a bitch (as long as it’s not like....mega bitch...for the most part anyway....) - if this person creates decent content, the “I don’t think this is that deep” blog will reblog it. They probably haven’t even realised Person A was nasty one time, because they Don’t Give a Fuck. It’s all about the content, not the people behind it, and to be fair that can be a pretty good mentality to have as long as you’re not getting in too deep with anyone in the fandom - which these people generally don’t. These people don’t tend to rank very high, but they don’t even know that because, as their title suggests, they really don’t think things are this deep. The don’t see fandom as a game. Or, if they do, it’s just a fun game with no rules and no positions. It’s just all about reblogging groovy gifs or cute pictures. Nothing else matters beneath that, because, well, it’s really not that deep. These people can be annoying but they’re also so, so enviable.

The Reasonable Blogs

These people can be wordy, they like a good discussion/debate, but whatever their view, they are absolutely always reasonable, mature and polite with the way they express themselves. Even when dealing with more difficult fandom members who maybe aren’t being as friendly during the discussion as the Reasonable Blog, Reasonable Blog will still keep a level head, they won’t stoop down to the Troublemaker’s level, and they won’t resort to name calling or cheap tactics in order to get their point across - even if they’re being antagonised/provoked, the Reasonable Blog will rarely snap. They’re not afraid to speak their mind, and they’re generally not afraid to defend their friends, but they always do it with their head held high. They can be a rare breed, but they’re a blessing.

The Troublemakers

You know who they are. The shit stirrers. The ones who say things with a teeny tiny sting to it, voicing their opinion in a way that is provocative and will get people a little fired up. At the end of the day, it’s all about the wording; it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it that’s important. 

The Troublemakers can also be split into two categories; generally, a lot of them just like firey debate about the thing you all love, and sometimes their honesty/brutality can be funny or admirable as it’s not usually about attacking or having a pop at anyone in the actual fandom. But there are also those that do want to antagonise people on a personal level, to varying degrees, and the more extreme of these Troublemakers fit into the next category...

The “Mean Girls”

There are mean guys too obviously, but generally they don’t seem to be as smart, or as bitchy, and they tend to roam alone. The Mean Girls on the other hand are all about their little clique. That’s not to say some of them don’t ride solo, but generally you’ll find a little group with the same kind of vibe, just spewing shit, causing trouble, and generally not being too pleasant.

Of course there are various levels of “bitchery”. Sometimes it can be quite subtle, just the odd catty post now and then that is obviously created to make certain corners of the fandom feel insecure. Sometimes it’s a case of once you see it, it becomes obvious. In other cases, it is extreme, it is blatant, and it is gross. That’s when it develops into something far, far worse....which I will get onto in just a sec.

The Mean Girls, in the more obvious cases, know what they are, and they strive to be it. They don’t give a fuck, and they love it. They know people don’t like them, but they also know a lot of people sort of envy them; being in a clique can be fun, at the end of the day, and usually when people act like they’re super cool, some people will be fooled into thinking that’s what they actually are. 

This leads me onto the...

Queen Bitch™ Role.

In every single fandom I have ever been a part of, going right back to my forum days on the Newsround website from 2002(!!)-2004, there has always, always been a Queen Bitch. I even remember the screen name of the first Queen Bitch I encountered - it was DetroitDiva on the Newsround forums. It’s literally been about 14 years and I still remember her name. 

These people strive to be a bitch. They wear their hideousness like a badge of honour. It becomes their brand. They will mix it up by being nice now and then to certain people, generally people who have bowed down to them first, just to make them seem more human. But by god....they love it. They love being disliked. And they will have their followers who love it too. It can almost be funny, unless you’re one of their victims. DetroitDiva used to attack people for liking the band Busted. I was a massive Busted fan (still am tbh lmao) and it used to hurt me to my very core when she’d go on and on and on about them, talking directly to their fans and mocking us for liking this band. And you know, she was smart with it - this was a kids forum after all, we were all in our early teens, and it was a moderated forum so no offensive language could be used. But it just made her smarter with her dialogue, and that way it hurt more. And god, she fucking loved it.

I still see people like this today. Actual adults. I have seen people like this, to various degrees, in every fandom since. They may not directly come at people (although they’re not afraid to), but they will still make damn sure they’re making someone somewhere feel crap about something or someone they like, or a certain opinion they have.

The Trolls

Ugh. There will always be one or two. On tumblr, people will always get anon hate from time to time. But sometimes, and this doesn’t necessarily happen in every fandom, but it can happen....you get full on, unabashed trolls who don’t hide behind anon, who use their main blogs to terrorise and bully the fandom.

I have only experienced this on an extreme level once, in a previous fandom. I watched a small group of girls who started off as the Mean Girls, led by the Queen Bitch™, escalate into full on trolls. I’m talking about writing call-out posts, calling people really gross names, telling people to block/unfollow certain blogs in the fandom (I was one of the targets) and telling people to steal our work - all because we were a little popular, and all because when they first started showing their damaging behaviour*, we tried to (politely) talk them out of it. 

They used people’s real names, they stalked our blogs for months and months on end, they continuously wrote nasty posts about us for months after we blocked them and stopped interacting with them. 

This is probably kinda rare, but it’s something that can escalate if people don’t react a certain way to certain behaviour. More often than not, trying to reason with these people by politely telling them the way they word things isn’t cool or whatever, isn’t going to help. They don’t care, and they don’t want to listen. Of course, not everyone who puts themselves across in a bad way is a bad person; some people can change, can check themselves, can stop and think “oh shit, I should probably be more careful how I say things”. But unfortunately, in most cases, reasoning doesn’t work.

In that particular case, we tried calling them out. A couple of people tried writing reasonable, rational posts warning others in the fandom about certain blogs and how they had started bullying people. This only spurred the Trolls on even more, they lapped up the attention, and that’s when their behaviour got even more extreme.

If you see a troll in your fandom, or you see negative behaviour which you realise is inappropriate, you are not obliged to confront these people or call them out. More often than not, the very best thing you can do is unfollow and/or block them, and don’t interact with their posts. Maybe warn your mates about them privately, but don’t make a song and dance about it. Let these people become invisible to you. Stop and look at who else might be associating themselves with these people. Protect yourself and other’s as much as you can by not giving these Trolls the validation they crave.

‘The Trolls’ is a rank. It goes Troublemakers > Mean Girls > Queen Bitch > Troll. I have literally watched people climb this ladder (or....slip down it, depending on which way you look at it). It is the perfect example of the negative ranking system within fandom. 

The Peacekeepers

These are the ones that avoid drama, but at the same time they’re not afraid to acknowledge drama without getting directly involved. They will write a separate post telling people to cool it, to love and respect each other, when they see things may be getting a little heated. They just want an easy life and they want everyone to be friends. They generally turn away from the Mean Girls, or the Troublemakers, but at the same time they try to keep an open mind and will interact with those people if the Troublemaker/Mean Girl happens to reach out to them first (the less extreme levels of Mean Girl/Troublemaker, that is). These people tend to be relatively popular as they’re generally pretty nice people, even if they can maybe be a little too sensitive now and then.

The Others

There are more, of course. Not everyone can be fit into a box, or a role, or a rank - although generally most people will have traits from certain categories. This post isn’t about defining every single person that enters fandom, it’s just looking at some of the more prolific and dominating groups you tend to see.

----

After thoughts and some clarification;

A lot of people can fall into multiple categories, or switch from role to role as they establish themselves in the fandom, gain confidence and find their footing. Gaining confidence can be both a good and a bad thing, depending on how you use it. 

I’m generally talking about the most extreme or at least the most common cases in each of these Roles. As I said at the start of this post, there are definitely ranks within each category. 

For example, not everyone in the Mean Girls category is a total bitch. I should know; I was one (a Mean Girl, not a total bitch!). I was in that group once, in a small clique of girls who weren’t overly pleasant. They weren’t technically mean (at least....not to too many people), they just weren’t overly nice. 

As I said at the start of this post, in order to write this in the first place I’ve had to look back and reflect on my own fandom behaviour/experiences, and to prove that I’m not a hypocrite I have written a separate post talking about the roles I myself have played within various fandoms in the past. You can read it here.

So I’m fully aware that things aren’t always as black and white as they may appear on the surface, and they’re not as black and white as I may have made them appear in this post when describing the roles of fandom. I know good people do bad things, say bad things, and get mixed up with bad people. This isn’t actually about shaming anyone or making anyone feel bad.

Ultimately, this post is just an assessment. There are grey areas of absolutely everything. I personally find this stuff fascinating, to take a step back and look at yourself, at your peers, and see if you can figure things out. You’ll be surprised by what you see when you look hard enough.

At the end of the day, you can learn a lot from fandom. It’s actually a fascinating social experiment, putting a bunch of people together from different walks of life, different ages, with one common interest. As I said, it has taught me so much about myself - and trust me, not all of it is good (which again, you can read in my separate post about my own personal experiences).

I have 100% made mistakes in every fandom I have been in, pretty much. I have been too harsh and I have been too nice but ultimately I will always give people three bits of advice when entering a fandom:

Be nice and respectful to others

Trust your instincts

Be honest

I’d also say “look out for your friends”, but I actually think you should look out for yourself first. Fandom can mess with your brain. It can give you a massive sense of validation one minute and make you feel like crap the next. Fandom is a revolving door, and most people are ultimately disposable. This stuff can be easy to forget if you’re having a good time, but when you’ve been around a while and have experienced some of the more unpleasant aspects, those things become frightfully clear. It’s the nature of fandom and it’s important to not take that stuff too personally, even if it can be really hard not to.

This post is actually just a bit of fun, it’s something I have discussed with many long-running members of various fandoms, and I’m certainly not alone in my assessment of fandom politics and hierarchies. At the same time though, people can take this as seriously as they want, and if it can open anyone’s eyes to the fascinating goings on of fandom politics then I hope you find it as interesting as I do!

[dannofaust]

Yep, I’m still reading, so here’s what I’ve been reading lately.

You know the drill by now. These are just my thoughts. I’m not a critic, but I’m going to share my opinions with you anyway. I am not affiliated with any of the books, products, or web sites mentioned here. I am not compensated by anyone in any way for this blog. This is just for my own amusement. Your enjoyment may vary.

“Over the Hill – Grandpa Hikes the PCT” by Jim & Zhita Rea

This is the story of Jim Rea, a sixty something retiree from Los Angeles, California who wants to hike the Pacific Crest Trail, and his wife Zhita who is a retired educator with a unique background.

I had a difficult time reading this book. Some of my difficulty stemmed from the fact that parts of the book were written by Jim, and parts were written by Zhita, who was acting as Jim’s support crew. The two different perspectives were interesting, but at times it was confusing to me and a bit hard to follow. I think my other difficulty was that Jim was section hiking the PCT and jumping around a bit from one section to another from year to year. Maybe I’m just getting too old to follow anything more complicated than a simple through hike.

I don’t have any criticism of the writing in this book. It just wasn’t my cup of tea. I only got about one third of the way through the book before I gave up. Maybe I’ll come back to this one and finish it someday.

“RiverGator” web site by John Rusky

https://www.rivergator.org

RiverGator is an amazing resource. It’s not a book. It’s web site that contains just about every piece of information anyone would ever want to know about the Mississippi River below St. Louis, Missouri. The amount of information on this web site is overwhelming. I have not read all of it, but I have read a lot of it.

For me, the most important part of the website is the mile by mile river guide. It is very helpful to have this kind of a resource. The guide even includes a description of the Atchafalaya River, which is the route I will take to the Gulf.

My difficulty with this web site is that a lot of the mile by mile descriptions of the river are interrupted by a plethora of other information. I would much rather the river description continued mile by mile uninterrupted from beginning to end. I must be getting old, because it took me awhile to navigate through the myriad of menus and hyperlinks to find the information I was looking for. The more I read and use the RiverGator.org website, the better I get at finding what I want. For me, the site navigation and layout is not intuitive.

My pet peeves aside, this is by far the most comprehensive collection of information about the Mississippi River written for people traveling the river in canoes and kayaks. If you are interested in paddling the Big Muddy, this is a “must read” web site. Some of the topics discussed are Safety, navigation, camping, locks & dams, weather, river gages, hazards, history, and much more.

“A Walk in the Woods” by Bill Bryson

    I tried for some time to get my hands on this book. The first time I ordered “A Walk in the Woods” all I got was a piece of the envelope that it had been shipped in. When I contacted the company that had sold me the book they said that they would ship another copy out ASAP, but eventually they issued me a refund because they didn’t have another copy. Subsequently, I found the book for sale on eBay and ordered it. This time the book actually arrived.

In the mean time, I also bought a DVD copy of the movie by the same name. That was a mistake. It stars Robert Redford and Nick Nolte. I figured that if I couldn’t read the book at least I could watch the movie. They’re probably about the same, right? Well, the movie sucks in my humble opinion. I hadn’t even laid eyes on the book yet and I knew that the movie wasn’t half as good as the book. I have read enough stories about the Appalachian Trail to know that the movie should have been much better. Clearly the acting was not the problem. They had a great book to start with. How could they screw this up? I don’t know if it was the writing, the directing, the editing, or all of the above; but somewhere along the line the movie did not live up to its potential or my expectations. I was disappointed, to say the least.

About a week after I watched the movie, my book arrived. The movie did do one good thing for me. As I began reading the book I envisioned Robert Redford as Bryson and Nick Nolte as Katz. Even though Redford and Nolte are quite a bit older than Bryson and Katz were in the book, I think the casting was brilliant. In my minds eye I could see and hear the two of them starting out on this ridiculous adventure together. I began laughing out loud almost immediately. Bill Bryson is a marvelous writer and story teller. My hat’s off to you sir. I wish I could write that well.

I delighted in Bryson’s in depth description of how agonizingly boring the Appalachian Trail can be. I have read accounts referring to the AT as the “green tunnel”, but Bryson’s rich, textured vocabulary goes way beyond any thing I have read before in relating the mind numbing activity of backpacking the AT. Several times I have read accounts of accomplished backpackers who paddled the Mississippi. Invariably they referred to it as boring and monotonous. One author even referred to the upper section of the river as “the green hell”. I felt offended by those remarks. I love the river. Pretty much any river I’ve ever been on. How could they be so inconsiderate and rude? Well, their beloved AT is pretty boring and monotonous too I guess … at least in some people’s opinions. Any way, I thought that Bryson kind of evened up that score. Thanks Bryson!

As I was reading a short passage near the middle of the book, I realized that much of what Bryson wrote did not transfer to the movie. Had I been making this book into a movie I believe I would have employed a narration ( Redford would have been awesome at this ) to fill in some of the gaps and include more of the subtle nuances that Bryson so expertly relates. Too bad. Some of the best parts of the book were lost in translation. I suppose that’s the way things go all too often.

One thing I did not appreciate was Bryson’s treatment of Emma Gatewood. He was more than rude. It was completely unnecessary and unacceptable in my humble opinion. Bryson couldn’t complete the AT once. Emma did the whole thing three times and she was older than him. I think Bill Bryson was out of his depth to criticize Emma Gatewood so harshly.

The second half of the book does slow down a good bit in my humble opinion. Bryson set off on his own to explore parts of the AT by car. He goes into a lot of detail about the history and geology of the AT as it passes through Pennsylvania. Most of that stuff is pretty boring, but I did manager to push through it and finish the book. Throughout this book Bryson is telling the story of the Appalachian Trail. It’s history. It’s politics. It’s flora and fauna. Its culture. It’s future and more. The part about Bryson and Katz backpacking the AT just adds some fun and makes the whole thing more enjoyable to read.

“Two Coots in a Canoe” by David Morine

This is one of my favorite books so far. Probably the only thing that could have made it any better for me is if it had taken place in the Midwest rather than the Northeast, but then I’m prejudiced.

Author David Morine teams up with a college friend Ramsay Peard, whom he hasn’t seen in twenty years, to paddle the Connecticut River from the Canadian border to the Long Island Sound. A distance of just over 400 miles. But that’s not enough for these two sixty something retirees. They’ve got a gimmick. They aren’t going to camp along the way. They are going to rely on the generosity of “strangers” to be their hosts ( cook, chauffeur, laundry mat, party planner, and local guide ) each night.

As you have probably gathered by now, this is not your typical story of two people canoeing down a river. There’s nothing typical about this story at all. Two Coots in a Canoe is witty, well written, funny, irreverent, and enlightening, but unexpectedly delves deeper into the human condition than some people may be comfortable with. One moment heart warming and the next heartbreaking, this book is hard to describe. There’s a little bit of everything included in Morine’s tale. It has history, drama, romance, mystery, murder, social commentary, and a few surprises along the way. This story is “The Odd Couple” meets “A Walk in the Woods” crossed with “Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn”.

David Morine is an accomplished author who had written several other books, including “Good Dirt: Confessions of a Conservationist”, “Vacationland: A Half Century Summering in Maine”, and “Small Claims: My Little Trials in Life”.

If someone ever had the good judgment to make this story into a movie, I would buy a ticket to see it quicker than the blink of an eye. The world needs more stories like this and more people like Dave Morine and Ramsay Peard.

“Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them.” – A. A. Milne

Previous Post: “Things I’ve Read – Part 3”

Next Post: ”

Things I’ve Read – Part 4 Yep, I'm still reading, so here's what I've been reading lately. You know the drill by now.

[qqueenofhades]

Ahem. So. Here's the thing. That part 6 ending was a truly spectacular garbage display, even by the high garbage standards of Garcia Flynn, and I need Lucy to be happy (even if she would probably be better off with someone who is not a walking trash fire. That being said, formal request for part 7 or 8 or however long it takes to drag him back from this epic garbage cliff he's thrown himself off.

You can catch up on the foregoing Absolute Garbage here (now posted on AO3.). As usual, I blame @pirate-owl.

It doesn’t take Wyatt and Rufuslong after they get to the hospital to realize something is funny.Lucy is happy to see them, though still considerably doped up, and the doctorsays she’s probably out of the woods. Not anywhere close to being actuallyreleased yet, though, and that makes everyone antsy. They know Rittenhouse hasa golden opportunity right now: either the boys take out the Lifeboat afterthem and leave Lucy behind, or they stay with Lucy and let those bastards do asthey please to history. They haven’t jumped yet, but they’re going to soon.Neither choice is what anyone wants, and Lucy finally says, “Let’s discuss thiswith Garcia. Where is he, anyway? Didn’t you two say he was going to be here?”

“Yeah.” Wyatt frowns. “He saidhe’d meet us here, he was – actually, I’m not sure what he said he was going todo, run an errand or something. That was a while ago, though.”

“Can you call him?” Lucy pushesherself upright against the white hospital pillows with a grimace. “What ifsomething happened?”

Wyatt gives her a wry look, as ifto say that the only person she should be worrying about right now is herself,but pulls his phone out of his pocket, steps into the corridor, and dials Flynn.It rings once and then goes to voicemail. (Which, since this is Flynn, is justa long beep.)

Wyatt frowns. “Hey,” he says.“It’s me. Call me back, Lucy’s worried.”

With that, trying not to jump toconclusions just yet (even though, in his opinion, one can rarely go wrongsuspecting the worst of Flynn) he heads back into the room, at least until thenurse comes in for Lucy’s morning checks and gives them the kind of look thatmeans they should probably clear out. Since this is the same one unimpressedwith Lucy’s taste in men last night, she says, ostensibly cheerily, “Is yourhusband here this morning, Mrs. Wallace?”

“I – no, I haven’t seen him yet.”Lucy manages a smile, while Wyatt drills a death glare into the back of NurseRatchet’s head; it is clear that only he gets to bag on Flynn for being late.“I’m sure he’ll be here soon.”

The nurse has an uh-huh expression on her face, butdoesn’t press it. Wyatt and Rufus are shooed into the corridor and out into thewaiting room, tense and anxious and not sure what to do when half the team isdown – one shot and the other incommunicado at the worst possible time. It’snot like they have day jobs they go to anymore; their entire existence is tiedup in stopping Rittenhouse. Lucy is still here under a fake name, her rubbishhusband is still a wanted fugitive and terrorist in the eyes of the U.S.government, and history could be turning on its head as soon as Rittenhousetakes the Mothership out again. As they manage a casual stroll out of the front doors and towardthe nearest Starbucks – possibility of being busted or not, they are starving,and not eating hospital food – Rufushisses, “What the hell kind of stunt did Captain Craplord pull now?”

“I’m trying to figure that out,”Wyatt mutters back, as they join the insanely long line – is the entireorthopedics department on break at once? Because it sure looks like it –finally collect their drinks, and kick out a hipster from a corner table. Thehipster gives them a baleful look, but Wyatt does not have time for his hurtfeelings, and flashes his Army ID. “Hey, pal. National security. Write yournovel somewhere else.”

The hipster gathers up hisAirBook and scuttles off, not without a final look warning them that he isgoing to write a scathing blog post about the entitlement of themilitary-industrial complex later. Wyatt slides into his vacated seat and grabshis drink; he asked for two extra shots, and even that doesn’t feel like quiteenough to kickstart his brain. He calls Flynn once more, just to be thorough,but this time it doesn’t even ring. He puts it down and says grimly, “Yeah.He’s gone.”

Rufus blows on his latte, thentakes a slug. “Am I missing the part where that’s a problem?”

“I feel you there, buddy. Believeme.” Wyatt laughs, without humor. “But we’re already in trouble as it is.You’re our only pilot, so either way, if Rittenhouse jumps again, you have tobe part of the Lifeboat crew. As we’ve noted, I can’t be in two places at thesame time. Which means Lucy is either here by herself, or you go alone, and Ican’t agree to that. But I can’t protect you both. We need Flynn back.”

Rufus opens his mouth, takes adrink of coffee instead of saying something, and then can’t hold back frompointing out the obvious corollary. “So what, he’s going to – what, come backand apologize? Look, I know why we were stuck with him. I know why we had toget him out of jail and even make him part of the team. Not that he ever wantedthat, because he’s terrible, but whatever. But now Lucy’s hurt, we’re screwed,and he’s left us in the lurch. He made the choice to go. He clearly doesn’tgive a damn about any of us. Good riddance.”

“I don’t know.” The last placeWyatt ever imagined he’d be is defending Flynn, but much as he hates it, he hasbeen able to sense that the other man’s feelings for Lucy are real. Even if heknows absolutely nothing about how to express it. Too real, perhaps. Tooterrifying. “You know what happened to his family, his wife and kid. He told meabout it during the Watergate mission. Rittenhouse shot them while he was inthe house, he heard the silencers. Found their bodies, but it was too late. I’mguessing… well. Seeing that same thing happen to Lucy right in front of himprobably set him off a little.”

Rufus snorts. “A little?”

“Look, I’m not defending him. Itwas a pretty ass thing to do. I’m just saying, I don’t think he suddenly bailedbecause he decided he didn’t give a shit. I did – well, I did the same thing,after Jess.” Wyatt’s voice sticks in his throat, and Rufus meets his gaze witha troubled expression. “You just want to be far away from anywhere you thinkthe pain can reach you. It does, though. It always does.”

“Hey, man.” Rufus puts a hand onhis shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“Nah, it’s all right.” Wyattsighs. “Like I said, I honestly get not wanting to go to the bother of findinghim. But we do need him back, even if it’s going to take a lot of time we don’treally have to spare. And, well.” He hesitates. “Like it or not – and it’sdefinitely not – Lucy needs him back too. We can’t un-wrinkle reality, andthey’re, well. You know.”

“Yeah. Married. Somehow.” Rufusblows out a breath. “We could just wait a few days and see if she gets overhim.”

“I wish, but that’s still not ourchoice to make.” Wyatt is realizing what he’ll have to do, and sighs again.“Can you track his phone?”

“Maybe,” Rufus says dubiously.“It’ll be harder if he’s left the country, though. Or maybe he just hopped inthe Lifeboat and peaced out to some other time permanently. Maybe that’s it,”he adds, sounding hopeful. “He can go back to his solo-operator thing andhandle Rittenhouse, but we… probably can’t let Flynn deal with things hisway. Shit.”

“Yeah, he sucks at it.” Wyattgulps the rest of his coffee, winces as it burns on the way down, and – seeinganother hipster covetously eyeing their table with its precious power outlet,and guessing they should hit the road – stands up. “Come on.”

He and Rufus head out, aretempted to go back to the hospital, but the nurse will just evil-eye themanyway and they have nothing to report to Lucy. So they make it back to thesafe house, where Rufus boots up his myriad of computers and gets cracking. Thelast place he can triangulate Flynn’s phone is at SFO. After that, nada, but itdoesn’t take too much guesswork to surmise his next move. The asshole got on aplane and assholed off God knows where.

“Really?” Rufus mutters, fingersflying over the keys, as he tries various combinations and algorithms ofdubious legality (then again, it’s not like more bending of the rules is reallysomething he’s worried about anymore) until he finally hacks intoarrival-departure data for SFO’s main terminals this morning. Even anemotionally distraught Flynn is not dumb enough to travel under his real name,though there is the question of how he’d finesse the ID requirement (thoughsomeone who worked for the NSA probably knows how to bluff his way around thatand/or pose as a government representative for whom the stormtroopers don’tneed to see his identification). Finally, Rufus stops at a blinking name on alist. “Abraham Preston? Really?”

“As in, Lucy’s favorite presidentthat he shot in front of her and her last name?” Wyatt is so exasperated bythis choice of alias that he almost reconsiders the whole retrieval plan on thespot. “Why?”

“Don’t you have to wonder?” Rufusflags the name and downloads the file. “How the heck they got together?”

“I try not to.” This is for Lucy,Wyatt reminds himself. “Where did he go?”

“By the looks of things…”Rufus clicks through a few screens, muttering to himself about the governmentnot even encrypting things properly. Really makes you feel as if your sensitiveinformation is carefully protected. “JFK.”

“New York? The hell is he doingthere?”

“Assuming that was his finaldestination. Don’t you have some special ops tricks? Call the TSAand get them to pull his passenger records?”

“That is… not a bad idea.”Wyatt supposes that at this point, the law doesn’t really enter it. So, whileRufus is monkeying around to see if he can crack into JFK’s servers or ifthey’re using a different protocol (or whatever computer-geek problem he needsto solve, this isn’t Wyatt’s lookout) he looks a few things up, makes a fewcalls, and finds no difficulty at all in informing the TSA chief that AbrahamPreston is a dangerous individual with a predilection for making terribledecisions, who important people would like to talk to ASAP. This cuts quite abit of red tape and the multiple levels of management Wyatt would haveotherwise had to circumvent, but nothing can ever be easy when it comes to thefeds. Finally, he gets the information that Mr. Preston (he snorts to himself)appears to have just left, as in minutes ago, on a Japan Airlines flight to NaritaInternational Airport, Tokyo. Wyatt thanks him for the information, assures himthat Delta Force is on it and the flight itself is not in danger, hangs uphastily, and informs Rufus.

“Are you serious?” Rufus looks asif this is probably a rhetorical question when it comes to Flynn, yes. “Heflies east to New York, and then back across the whole country and west to Tokyo? How does that makeany sense?”

“Don’t look at me.” Wyatt rubshis temples. “Easier for me, though. If I get a flight to Tokyo right away, Imight be able to make it soon after he does.”

Rufus still has plenty ofcomments under his breath about how tragic this whole affair is, which isn’t remotelywrong, but there is the problem of getting Wyatt to Japan first. There is adeparture late this afternoon, which he will have to hustle if he wants tocatch, and since they’ve already gone to the well once and there is no time tospare, he calls SFO and asks that they hold a seat for him, as a matter ofurgent national security. If all this ever gets back to Pendleton, Wyatt’sgoose is cooked, but frankly, he has bigger problems. Like tracking down Lucy’sutter failure of a spouse posthaste, then killing him himself.

This also means there isn’t anytime for Wyatt to go back to the hospital and tell her about this, so he givesRufus a look. “I’m sorry to stick you with this. Just… let her know thatI’m doing my best, all right?”

“Why are you apologizing to me?”Rufus says dryly. “You’re the one that has to deal with Flynn.”

“Yeah. Not looking forward tothat.” Wyatt is used to short-notice trips, after all, but in a time machine, not a plane. His life is weird. “I’lllet you know as soon as I get there. If Rittenhouse jumps while I’m gone…”

“I’ll go after them,” Rufus says.“Alone, if I have to. You know Lucy wouldn’t ever want us to do anything else.”

Wyatt knows this is true, even ashe practically has hives at the thought of either leaving Lucy by herself inthe hospital, or letting Rufus brave battling Rittenhouse by himself in the past.God, he’s going to wring Flynn’s neck.“Be – be careful, all right?”

“I’m not Delta Force or NSA, butI can handle myself.” Rufus holds out his hand, which Wyatt shakes, then pullshim into a brief hug. “See you soon.”

“Yeah,” Wyatt mutters. “I hopeso.”

Once Wyatt has gone, Rufus picksup a few groceries, figuring Lucy will not be terribly keen on eating Jello andprocessed gloop either, sighs deeply, stares accusingly at the sky, and finallyheads back to the hospital. He is very, very not looking forward to thisconversation, and Lucy is awake, anxious, and apparently trying to convince thenurses that she’s all right to be released, no big deal. Considering that shestill has a fairly sizeable hole in her side and was in emergency surgery lastnight, they are not buying it. As well, they have a few questions about theweapon that shot her. Ballistics testing has not been able to match it to anymodern ammunition. It looks like a bullet from a rifle from, what, the 1860s?

“1870s, actually,” Rufus mutters,supposing it’s lucky that Lucy didn’t get nailed by any of the automatic riflesthat Rittenhouse was supplying Custer’s doomed 7th with. If so –well, he doesn’t like to think about that. He and Lucy manage to fend off theirquestions for the time being, but it’s clear they can’t keep this up foreverwithout the police being involved, and that is likewise a problem. When they’vefinally got the room to themselves, he drops into one of the uncomfortableplastic chairs. “So, um,  Lucy. I have. .. something to tell you.”

A corner of her mouth quirks.“Does it involve why Wyatt’s not here now either?”

“Yeah, actually, it does.” Rufusrubs his face. ��Flynn, well, he, he kind of skipped town. We found him – ittook us a while, but we found where he’s going, I promise. Wyatt went to gethim. But yeah, he. Decided to freelance again, I guess.”

Lucy’s face jerks, and then goescarefully, studiously expressionless. She looks away, twisting at the place onher left hand where her rings should be, and bites her lip. Rufus tries torespect her grief, even as he considers its object wholly unworthy of it, buthe can’t help himself. “Lucy, how did – how did that even happen? You and him?”

Lucy looks up in startlement,before apparently reminding herself that he doesn’t remember. After a momentshe says, rather hesitantly, “It was after the Yalta Conference mission.”

“Yalta Conference mission?”

“Yes. 1945, Roosevelt, Stalin,and Churchill meet in the Crimea, just before the end of WWII.” Lucy gives himan odd look. “Surely you remember that?”

“No, I don’t.” Rufus is struckwith the bizarre realization that they – himself, Flynn, and Wyatt – mustremember one version of recent events, as Lucy said that they have been marriedfor six months, and she must remember a completely different one. Did they actually go to Yalta 1945, ifhe doesn’t remember that they did? As a result of whatever changed in Sarajevo1914, the start of WWII’s predecessor, the mission from which they returned tofind this matrimonial surprise in the first place? Lucy was affected by thechanges, but they weren’t, since they made them to the timeline, eveninadvertently, while she wasn’t there? The same reason she remembered Amy’sexistence, while everyone in the present forgot it? Man, Rufus hates timetravel.

“Okay,” he says, electing not toget too off track. “So, Yalta?”

“You really don’t remember?”

“No. Technically, this me wasn’tthere.”

“Fine.” Lucy blows out a breath,clearly feeling doubly isolated. “Obviously, an event like that was huge forRittenhouse to target, and I… I was just running really angry aftereverything that happened with my mom, and I… I kept pushing the envelope, Ijust wanted to hurt them, I didn’t care what it cost. He saw me doing it, andhe… stopped me.”

“Wait, Flynn stopped you from going metal on Rittenhouse? Are you sure? Thiswasn’t another alternate Flynn from Bizarro Reality where he’s a nice andwell-adjusted guy?”

“No, it was him. He… he wasangry with me, still, but he didn’t want to see me go down that same road. Whenwe got back, he…” Lucy’s cheeks go pink. “He confronted me about it, and weended up…”

“Yeah, I can guess what you endedup doing.” Just as well that Wyatt isn’t here to hear this, Rufus thinks,although he has to at least suspect. “And then you what, got married the nextmorning? This actually isn’t the past where you have to get married after youbang because of honor and all that, I’m sure you know that, since you are,after all, the historian. So why – ”

Lucy gives him a look, cuttingoff his babbling. “No, we didn’t. It wasn’t until after – ”

She stops.

“What?” Rufus prods, feeling likethe town gossip who cannot keep their nose out of anyone’s business, but dyingof curiosity nonetheless. “After what?”

“After the Lusitania mission,” Lucy says quietly, having guessed from hisexpression that he doesn’t remember that one either. “1915. The men he killedon that one, the operatives Rittenhouse was using on that – they were the oneswho killed his family. Lorena and Iris. He finally got to avenge them, and whenwe got back to the present… well. It was emotional, to say the least. Andthings might have gotten a little mixed up and… yeah. That was the next morning where we kind of woke up married.”

“Wait, what?” Rufus is mildly stunned. “So this whole time, Flynn actuallyhas killed the guys who killed hisfamily? And doesn’t remember that either? Why didn’t you… I don’t know,tell him? It feels like it could have helped with all the meltdowns he washaving.”

“Because now I don’t know if ithappened!” Lucy turns to look at him, eyes filled with tears. “You obviouslydon’t remember anything I just told you about, none of you knew that Garcia andI were married, he didn’t know wewere married, and now we’re referring to two totally different time streams andsets of memories and no idea at all about how to reconcile them! You know hecompletely stonewalled me for two weeks after you guys got back from Sarajevo,I couldn’t even say an ordinary word to him, much less this! And now he’s onlybarely started to let me back in again, then he disappears, and this…” Shetrails off. “I may or may not get a chance to tell him at all, but when thisFlynn finds out, I can’t help feeling that… he’ll think his job is done. Hewon’t forgive me for keeping it a secret, he’ll decide we can handle the restof Rittenhouse on our own, and he’ll… he’ll leave.”

Oh. Rufus understands, unfortunately and unpleasantly. And while Flynn leaving is exactlywhat he should want, and still does to some degree, he knows it would shatterLucy if it came about like this.  Shecan’t tell Flynn because, as noted, there’s no way to know if it still happenedin this new reality, and because it would be cold and paltry satisfactionindeed, when this Flynn doesn’t even remember doing it, when he never actuallyhas. The only thing worse than not telling him would be letting him believethat he had done it, giving him falsehope, that he could rest at last, and then finding out that no, those men arestill alive. And because Lucy cannot rid herself of the insidious convictionthat Flynn would far prefer a universe where he looked into the eyes of the menwho killed Lorena and Iris in cold blood, remembered their faces and their deaths, and where he is not married to her. Notthis, where he doesn’t remember either. Where he has fairly earned neither his vengeancefor the past nor his hope for the future, neither his grief nor his joy. Whenit is all a dream for him, and he could still be hoping that sometime soon,he’ll wake.

“I…” Rufus says at last.Reaches over and takes Lucy’s hand. “I’msorry, okay? But… evidently he stuck around even after finding that out.Unless he didn’t, and we had to drag him back already – which wouldn’t surpriseme. Why did he stay?”

“He… well, yes, he was alittle surprised to find out we were married the first time, too.” Lucy lookswry. “But he said that he didn’t think the job was done, that we needed to takeout the rest of Rittenhouse too. And, well, he said that he supposed we weremarried now, and if I wanted to not be married, I could say so. But I, uh.Didn’t exactly let him finish.” She coughs. “So he bought me a real engagementring and we had a new ceremony a few weeks later.”

Rufus supposes this is actuallyquite a romantic and poignant story, so much that you can almost forget Flynnis involved. “So he… he chose to stay married before, right? And to let goof the whole vengeance thing, and keep fighting Rittenhouse because it was theright thing to do? And otherwise, you know… be happy?” He doesn’t know ifit’s their fault for mucking it up or not, when yet again, you have that pesky“which version of events actually happened?” brain-buster. “And then you gotreset to total ground zero and stuck with the version of him that sucks. Wow,Lucy. You did not deserve that.”

“I don’t know if it’s aboutdeserving.” She stares out the window, at dusk falling over theglittering lights of San Francisco. “I don’t know if we can get it back.”

“He chose it once,” Rufus says.“Maybe he can again. I don’t know.”

“Maybe.” Lucy gives him a smilethat doesn’t reach her eyes. It’s clear she thinks they might have lost theirchance. “First, we have to see if Wyatt can catch up to him.”

“He definitely can,” Rufus saysstoutly. “I have faith in Wyatt.”

“Just none in Flynn?” Lucyclearly catches the unspoken implication.

“Not really.”

“I don’t know if I should either,honestly.” Her eyes go dark, distant, far away. “But I can’t help it. I just –I just. I just really want him to come back.”

——————

Garcia Flynn hates the almighty,ever-living, absolutely-not-a-single-one-given fuck out of Tokyo.

He can barely remember whatpossessed him to come here in the first place, and the last few days aresufficiently hazy that he’s still confused about having traveled somewhere thatisn’t in the past. He took the first flight from San Francisco to New York, gotanother one, picked Japan because it was on top of the departures board andsounded as if it was the furthest away, and now, after God alone knows how manyhours of flying across multiple directions, time zones, and continents, he’shere. It is utterly disorienting. He can just about read Chinese, because ifyou deal with Russia as long as he has, you inevitably deal with China as well,but that does him no good with Japanese. The city goes on forever, and for aman who has spent most of his life in covert ops, where the entire point is hiding, he is as conspicuous as a heartattack. Six-foot-four men stand out anywhere, but especially in Japan. Staring isn’t considered rudein Asian culture, and everyone isstaring at him. He turned around too fast in a store and almost flattened sometiny Japanese granny, whose nose reached to about his navel. This is a countrybuilt for midgets. He feels like he’s parting the Red Sea when he walks downthe sidewalk.

Flynn is also not in the least afan of all the cutesy Hello Kitty-style kitsch that seems to predominateeverywhere, the fact that riding the subway (especially at rush hour) involves pretty much literally taking yourlife in your hands, and that no matter where he wanders in this gleaming,futuristic city, the complete antithesis of everything to do with the past, henever feels remotely better. If anything, he feels worse. He hasn’t doneanything but fight Rittenhouse for too long to remember, and he can’t relax.Keeps wondering what they’ve done, if they’ve taken the Mothership on anotherjump, what the hell the trio is going to do about it if so. Christ, he’s evenfound himself worrying about Wyatt. Thingsare clearly upside-down.

And Lucy.

Flynn doesn’t even need to forcehimself to be honest (which is good, otherwise he might never get there) to beconfronted with the fact that he has felt like he wants to die every hour,every minute, every second since heleft her. He has drearily struggled to rehearse the rationalizations,everything he worked out about how it was the best choice, but that barelycompensates for the knot of agony in his chest that hasn’t loosened its grip atall. If anything, it’s getting tighter. Still more, he knows that it was thecoward’s way out, and Lucy will be so angry with him for doing it that he haslikely burned any bridges back. He’ll just… he has no notion. He’s at the endof his rope. He just wants to go to bed and sleep for five years. Maybeforever.

Flynn supposes that he could workon identifying Rittenhouse members in the present, try to disrupt theiroperations and their ability to run more missions interfering with the past, asthat is essentially his only marketable skill set at this point, and might evenbe tangentially useful for the Time Team. He doesn’t know what to do with hislife if he’s not chasing them. Lucy started that too, and now he’s lost hertoo. No more than he deserves, really.

Presently, Flynn has gottenbuzzed at a sake bar, but not very much, as it takes a lot to get him drunk and he was tired of being gawped atby the locals. He has bought a room in a grimy hostel in the bar district (well,grimy by Japanese standards, which would still be shockingly clean for budgetaccommodation anywhere else) and he’s half-hoping some mugger with a death wishwill try to jump him (they’d have to jump very high). He could do with beatingthe shit out of someone, even if this is liable to get him dragged before theprefecture police, and accordingly cause more complications. He’s drunk justenough to have a headache, and he is in a vindictively foul mood. Fine, justlet them, let anyone, he doesn’tcare, he just wants it to –

At that moment, someone steps outof the alley in front of him. Flynn can’t help but wondering wildly if hisrequest for a mugging was granted after all, even if the joke’s on them, as hehas nothing worth stealing. He reflexively loads up for a punch – and thencatches sight of the newcomer in the glow of the neon sign from the takeoutrice place ahead, and freezes.

“You?” His tongue is still too thick, but the shock cuts throughhis head like a circular saw. “What the – whatthe fuck are you doing here?”

“What’s it look like?” WyattLogan glares back at him, blue eyes almost red in the reflected glare, givinghim a momentarily hellish aspect. “Tracking down your dumb ass!”

“How did – ” Flynn isn’t sure ifhe stopped trying to hit him too early. “How did you – ”

“How did I find you?” Wyattrepeats, clearly vastly underwhelmed by the sheer disastrous nature of thiswhole situation. “Well, aside from the fact that I obviously have a fewconnections, Abraham Preston, itlooks like you completely half-assed this whole thing. Don’t tell me thatsomeone who worked for the NSA for most of his life, and who went off the gridfor two years before he stole the Mothership, doesn’t know how to properlydisappear. Instead you use the most obvious fake name possible, then go to theone place you will literally be remembered by everyone you meet. You want toknow how I found you? Just asked if anyone had seen a tall, crazy-looking whiteman. Took me about three hours, tops, since I got from the airport. It almostlooks, oddly enough, like your heart’s not in this at all.”

“I – ” Flynn opens his mouth,then shuts it with a click. “Why did you come after me?”

“I’m not even going to dignifythat with a response.” Wyatt folds his arms. “Why do you fucking think I cameafter you?”

“I – thought you’d just – ”

“Yeah. I’m sure you thought alot. And I’m also sure it was mind-meltingly stupid, but hey, what’s itmatter?” Wyatt is angrier than Flynn has ever seen him. “Rufus and I have beenbusting our asses trying to fix allyour problems, worrying about Lucy, about what we’re going to do if Rittenhousejumps again, and you’re – what? Enjoying some geisha girls and anime?”

Flynn bristles. “I am not cheating on Lucy, I didn’t – ”

“Oh, so it’s cheating on hernow?” Wyatt yells, as heads start to appear on the balconies in the buildingsabove the narrow alley. “When you’re still, as far as I know, trying to rejectthis whole marriage as hard as you can? You didn’t cheat on her, hey, no, youjust ran away? Gold star!”

“Wyatt, just – ”

“No. No, you do not get to say anything. I’m here because of Lucy. Notbecause of you. Rufus thought we should just leave you down whatever rabbithole you’d dug for yourself, and frankly, I wanted to agree with him. But sinceyou’ve fucked all of us now, not just one of us, I had to come and see if therewas any hope of salvaging anything. You know what? Now that I’m here, I’mreally not sure why I bothered. Go get drunk and run away. Fine. The rest of usmight be screwed, but at least we try to fix our own problems.”

Flynn can feel a faint heatrising up his throat, stinging his cheeks. “Wyatt – ”

“If you’re interested inapologizing, I’m not interested in hearing it.” The younger man regards himwith a gaze that has turned to chips of flint. “I’m not even the person you oweit to. That’s Lucy. She loves you, you stupid son of a bitch. She loves youmore than I’ve seen her love just about anyone, however that happened, andyou’re breaking her heart. If you think that doesn’t matter, just say so. Saveall of us some time and trouble.”

Flynn feels as if he has been runover by a steamroller. He turns away, unable to meet Wyatt’s eyes head-on,rubbing a hand over his face. He had words, an answer, he swears, but that just blew all of them to pieces. He has never hated himself more than hepresently does, he knows he can’t justify his actions in any way that wouldsatisfy Wyatt, and any less to himself. And yet –

“I can’t protect her,” he says.“I can’t protect her. She got shot right in front of me. It could happen again,I could lose her too, and I – ”

“So what?” Wyatt has absolutelyno interest in sparing his feelings. “You’ll run away, and she’ll – not getshot? Yeah, you’ll do a bang-up job protecting her from five thousand milesaway, you fucking moron. Tell me, is there any logic anywhere in your decisions? Any? The smallest bit?”

Flynn has absolutely no reply.They stand there staring each other down (or rather, Wyatt stares, as Flynn still can’t look at him straight) fora horribly long moment. A hundred potential scenarios run through Flynn’s head,a thousand. None of them end with Lucy kissing him and telling him she’s justglad to see him, that they can put this behind them and start fresh. None ofthem end with him allowing himself to believe that, even if she did.

“Well?” Wyatt snaps, when hedoesn’t say anything. “Are you coming back, or do I just leave you to whateverother terrible decisions you somehow haven’t made yet?”

“I…” Flynn swallows hard,still feeling as if there’s a sizeable chunk of shrapnel lodged in his chest.“The former.”

Wyatt is caught off guard. Thenhe says shortly, “That doesn’t necessarily exclude more terrible decisions, Isuppose. And you have not even started to fix things, believe me. But I supposethat is, statistically speaking, the lesser of the shitty options you couldhave taken. Come on.”

Flynn has absolutely no idea whattime it is by the time they finally land in San Francisco, his third flight(and second long-haul international flight) in about as many days. They wentbackward over the International Date Line, so it’s technically yesterday fromwhenever they left Tokyo, and even his well-calibrated internal clock, whichhas to deal with much larger time jumps on a regular basis, is hopelesslyscrambled. He slept a little on the plane, but not much, and he’s practicallyfloating. Whatever is about to happen next, he just wants it over with.

Wyatt checks his phone as soon asthey are allowed to turn on their electronics, and tersely reports thataccording to Rufus, Rittenhouse still hasn’t jumped again. This is baffling toboth Flynn and Wyatt – someone surely saw Lucy shot in 1876, they have to knowshe’s on the shelf, that the Time Team is distracted and divided – and more thana little suspicious. If they haven’t, it’s because they think there issomething they can more profitably be doing in the present, and that’s not terrifying at all.

Despite his singular level offatigue – a flattening brew of emotional exhaustion, double-whammy jetlag,sleep deprivation, and Japanese misadventures –Flynn is antsy to get to thehospital and see Lucy, even though he’s quite sure she will not want to seehim, and that the conversation could quite justifiably be started off byslapping him until his ears ring. He and Wyatt catch a cab, at which Flynn dozesoff in the back while they’re stuck in traffic, and has to be woken with astart thirty minutes later. They stumble into the hospital foyer lookingpractically like intake candidates themselves, and Flynn reels. “Go tell Lucy I’llbe right up,” he says. “I need a minute.”

Wyatt gives him a cold fish-eye.

“Yeah, I know. The last time I saidthat, I – never mind. But I think it’s obvious I’m not going to do that again,and it’s probably better that you warn her, rather than that I just walk in outof the blue. All right?”

Wyatt continues to stare evilly athim, with the clear indication that if Flynn takes so much as a single step outof this hospital, he, Wyatt, will shoot him on the spot and dump him in ashallow grave. At last, however, he jerks his head once, and heads for theelevator. Calls over his shoulder, “Five minutes. Then you better be up there.”

Flynn grunts in assent and headsinto the men’s room, staring at himself in the mirror. Under the harshfluorescents, he looks mostly like a corpse himself, and splashing cold wateron his face barely helps. He is so tired that even death would feel like a lightnap. He isn’t ready for whatever Lucy is going to say to him, even knowing hedeserves it. God. He really could not possibly have fucked that up more. Maybe atleast she’ll finally be free of him, his cracks and his catastrophes and hisendless mistakes. She deserves that.

Still. He has come this far. He hasto finish the job.

Flynn splashes one more round ofwater on his face, and straightens up. He’s just reached over to dry his handswhen the bathroom door opens, then shuts. He looks up, uninterested, and then –

“Hello, Mr. Flynn.” BenjaminCahill reaches to lock the door behind him, and holds up his hands to show thathe’s unarmed. “We’ve been waiting for you to come back.”

“Wh – ” Flynn can’t even get theword out. He tries to take a step, but his feet have dissociated from hissparking, malfunctioning brain. “You bastards – you fucking bastards have been watching the hospital this whole time?”

“Of course we were. Can’t afather be concerned for his daughter?” Cahill looks genuinely wounded. “I do carevery much about Lucy, I heard what happened at Little Bighorn, and I had toensure that that unfortunate slip-up wasn’t going to lead to any more permanent –”

“Shut up.” Flynn’s fingers flex.He’s fairly sure he could make at least a start at strangling him, but therehave to be more of them outside. “Shutup.”

Cahill looks at him with a faintsmile and raised eyebrow. “Listen to me, Mr. Flynn.”

“Fuck you.”

“Listen to me. There’s something you need to know. About your wife.”

Despite everything, that catches Flynnlike a brick across the face. “What?” he blurts. “Lucy?”

Cahill’s other eyebrow raises atthat. The silence briefly turns horrendous, and then he shakes his head. “No,”he says simply. “The other one.”

[sutterbabe]

#2.5 Connor McDavid [Part 2]

HIIII CAN U PLEASE DO A PART 2 OF THE MCDAVID IMAGINE? ITS SO GOOD

Song suggestion: Push off by The Palms bc its a #jam

My whole aesthetic is connor mcdavid being an awkward dork bc same

“Hello?” you questioned as your facetime call connected to show you nothing more than the ceiling of what you assumed to be Connor McDavid’s hotel room. You were prickling with nervous energy as you prepared to pull off the greatest surprise ever (you may have been overselling it a bit, but ‘a pretty good surprise’ just didn’t have the same ring to it’).

“Yeah, I’m here. Give me two seconds!” Came your boyfriend’s slightly muffled reply. Plonking down on the bed beside his phone Connor muttered a couple of swear words as the phone bounced off the bed. Picking it gingerly off the floor he was greeted by the sight of you smothering your laughter. “Whoops.” he murmured. “Hey,” he greeted softly, a small frown flickering in his features.

“Hey there, Birthday Boy” you replied with a grin, making his cheeks tint red. Taking note of his solemn expression, you pouted. “What’s up?"

He shrugged, running a hand absentmindedly through his hair. “Just nerves, I guess.” he admitted. He was silent for a moment and you could practically see him debating wether or not to give you specifics. “We really need another win.”

You nodded quietly, knowing where this was going. “You had a great one last night.”you told him, smiling as you remembered the giant grin it had put on his face.

“But I had you there.” he replied quietly. “lucky charm, remember?” you smiled a little at that. Despite the fact that it was nice knowing he wanted you there, you didn’t like seeing him so anxious. If this got much worse you knew you were going to crack and spill the secret. He sighed gently. “I just wish you could be here.”

you nodded knowingly in agreement. “I know, Connor,” sucking in a silent breath, you continued with. “if I could, I would.” Which seemed like a safe statement to go with. Truthfully, you were actually in the arrivals section of the airport waiting for your bags to come out. You’d told Connor that you had to go back to your hometown for a 'family thing’ and couldn’t even be in Edmonton for his birthday (which didn’t matter since he’d started a road trip anyway). What he didn’t know was that you were lying though your teeth and were going to see most of the away games he was playing on this road trip.

“I know. It just sucks.” he replied truthfully. “This road trip thing is really putting that million year promise to the test huh?”

you rolled your eyes. “It’s practically impossible to hate you, Con. Is it so hard to accept the fact that I love you?”

He huffed. “I just…I don’t know"

You frowned, hating that he was already beating himself up about a game that hadn’t even started yet. His perfectionism was both a blessing and a curse. “Look, Connor, you won last night,” you said, smiling again at the memory. “I’m sure you can do it again.”

He smiled half-heartedly at your optimism. “you know it’s not that simple.”

you sighed, “I know but just…I don’t know channel your positive vibes into more wins.”

Despite himself, Connor snorted. “Channel my positive vibes?” he questioned incredulously. “have you been reading all those self improvement articles?” he asked jokingly.

you rolled your eyes, attempting to keep as straight a face as possible. “Yeah, I run a spiritual yoga blog.”

He snorted but caught sight of your expression, which you had managed to hold by some miracle, and quickly turned serious. “you are joking, right?”

“Kumbaya” you hummed, finally cracking with a snort of laughter which set Connor off as well. It was a few moments til you could compose yourselves. You smiled softly, seeing that you’d managed to get Connor to loosen up a bit and he didn’t look nearly as antsy as before. “Anyway, you keep that winning streak going for me then. I like seeing you happy, especially on your birthday.” you informed him.

Connor chuckled. “Anything for you, huh?"

“Sounds about right.” You agreed teasingly, with a fond grin towards your phone screen. You watched as he smiled back, before running another hand through his troubled hair. “And happy birthday, gorgeous! I can’t wait till you get home!” you added. He flushed gently again, glancing down slightly.

“Trust me, I can’t either.” he mumbled, making you laugh.

“I’ll talk to you after tonight’s win, yeah?” you agreed. He shook his head gently with a small smile.

“You’re hopeless.”

You laughed. “I love you!”

“I love you too.” he replied warmly before you need the call.

You hope he fell for it.

You straightened your McDavid jersey as you walked slowly into the arena, home-made sign in hand. You eased your way down to the boards where you found yourself beside three of the cutest kids, each in oilers jerseys.

“You’re an Oilers fan too?” one of them, a boy about eight, asked you excitedly. “Aw yeah! I told you we won’t be the only ones.” he told his sister triumphantly. 

She poked her tongue out at him. “I didn’t say that, I said maybe.” she retorted indignantly. She didn’t look much older than her brother, maybe ten or so.

“Is McDavid your favourite?” You glanced down at who you presumed was the youngest of the three. You chuckled a little, watching as the other two watched for your answer. For added effect you leaned down as if telling them a big secret. 

“He is, but don’t tell him that.” you whispered with a laugh.

They stared up at you with wide eyes. “Why not?”

You giggled, “Because I told him that Nuge was my favourite.”

“You know Connor McDavid?!” they questioned excitedly.

You chuckled at their expressions. “Just a little.” With grins like that, you were going to have to add ‘tell them you know Connor McDavid’ to your list of ‘How to make kids fall in love with you in under three minutes’. “But shh,” you told them quietly, leaning down again. “he doesn’t know I’m here.”

Their eyes sparkled. “You’re surprising him?” the boy questioned with a big goofy grin.

You nodded eagerly. “Do you think he’ll love it?”

They all nodded rapidly and you received a chorus of ‘yes!’, ‘of course!’ and ‘I love surprises!’. You grinned at them happily just as the players took the ice for warm ups. Connor was already in what you liked to call ‘obsessive focus mode’ which basically happened right before a game he was nervous for. He kept his head down and hyper-fixated on a drill or two. You could tell the rest of the team was picking up on it too because they were all stony faced and determined. Eventually Milan Lucic skated past to pass a puck to the kids, and when he finally glanced up and saw you, you were able to watch as a wide grin split his face. You grinned, pressing a finger to your lips, making him chuckle.

“Davo,” 

Connor glanced up as Lucic skated over to join him. “What’s up?” Con questioned, seeing the grin that his teammate was trying, a failing, to hide. “What?” he asked defensively as Lucic just kept grinning.

He shrugged. “I just saw some of the smiliest kids who can’t wait to see you.”

Connor shrugged. “Can’t hurt.” he replied, glancing back the way Lucic had come from. Instead of the kids, it was your sign that caught his eye. “No way,” he mumbled. Lucic chuckled, and clapped him on the back. 

You watched his jaw slacken in surprise, his gaze fixed intently on you but his expression was quickly replaced by an amused smirk as he licked his lips, shaking his head lightly in disbelief a small smile playing on his lips as he glanced down. You grinned, not failing to miss the not-so-covert glances he continued to send you throughout warm ups, the faint smile never failing, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. Eventually he found his way over to the glass beside you, waving a little at the ‘three musketeers’ as you’d dubbed them. You watched with a laugh as they almost died of excitement. He was grinning excitedly at you, pressed up to the glass opposite you. “Happy Birthday?” You tried, wiggling your sign which cause him to laugh.

“You’re here!” he exclaimed.

You nodded with a laugh. “Couldn’t miss your birthday could I?”

He shook his head in disbelief, banging his helmet lightly against the glass before skating off, which made you laugh.

“I think he liked his surprise.” One of the kids piped up from beside you.

“I think he did, too.” you chuckled.

That much was evident as Connor couldn’t wipe the grin off his face for the entirety of the game. Just the knowledge that it was because of you gave you warm fuzzies. Even the few choice words you heard being exchanged throughout the game didn’t seem to dampen his mood. Connor McDavid was delighted and his good mood seemed to be seeping through to the rest of the team. The Oilers came out with the win and you swore Connor’s cellys got even more adorable every game. Seeing him so happy was your favourite part about watching him play. You were so in love with him, it wasn’t funny.

After the game, you made your way down to wait for him by the Visitors’ locker rooms. You knew he’d be a little while because he’d be celebrating with the rest of his teammates and, of course, the press would want a piece of the action as well. Given all that, you had been fiddling around on your phone, not at all expecting him to be out for a while when someone raced towards you, you had just enough time to glance up before you were engulfed in a huge hug that almost knocked you off your feet. You giggled, your boyfriend was practically allergic to PDA but here he was pressing kisses to every inch of your face he could find.

“Happy Birthday, Con!” you exclaimed, giving him a little squeeze. “You were amazing out there!”

“I told you,” he laughed. “Lucky charm.” he squeezed your sides gently, causing you to squeak slightly and writhe beneath his fingers in an attempt to get out of his grip. He laughed, finally relenting and wrapping an arm around your waist. “Aren’t you quite the con artist, huh?” he continued. “had me thinking, you were all wrapped up by the tv at home with your family.”

You smirked at the thought. “Well, I had to get you back for that awful first date.” you joked.

“If this is what I get for bad dates, I might have to take you on a few more then.” He replied, leaning down to kiss you carefully. “But really,” he continued, sobering up. “thank you for coming.”

You smiled warmly and kissed his cheek. “Anything for you, huh?”

He hummed. “I like the sound of that.”

“I’m sure you do."

[therachelperspective]

BOOK ⎟ A Work in Progress by Connor Franta

Don’t feel bad if you don’t know who Connor Franta is. I openly admit that I didn’t have a clue who this 24-year-old YouTube sensation was until I decided to pick up his memoir, A Work in Progress, at Target. It seems silly, doesn’t it? Reading a memoir written by someone who doesn’t seem nearly of age to do so, and is a few years younger than me at that. But this is one of those times when you should not judge a book by its author, nor an author by his age. Connor Franta is more – much more – than he seems. 

Published in 2015, A Work in Progress is described by Franta himself as an elaboration of what he discusses in his vlogs (blogs in video form; his channel found here). Its content, as such, covers a variety of topics that include the usual growing up, family, school, friendships, relationships, sexuality, and beyond. What I really discovered, though, was that it is more accurately a self-help book masquerading as a memoir. My copious notes made up almost entirely of quotes show that Mr. Franta is wise beyond his years. Although he is a relatively privileged white boy with very little struggle under his belt (being chubby as a child and coming to terms with his sexuality being the two major high points), Franta does well to remind readers of what’s important in life: discovering who you are, following your dreams and passions, living your life in the present, and accepting your flaws as part of your uniqueness. He has a lot to say and gives incredible amounts of advice as he discusses his life, but these concepts are generally the major takeaways throughout AWIP. 

As much as I appreciated what Franta shared in his novel – and trust me, so many good things – the only truly special aspect about the book is that he makes a “healthy living” making YouTube videos (thanks to advertising revenue) and he was, at the time of publishing, only 22 years old. Franta has made a name for himself online and has the large fanbase currently sitting at just over 5.5 million people to show for it, but his story at its core isn’t much different than my own. Part of the reason I chose to read A Work in Progress was because of the fact that he, too, is from Minnesota (try to find La Crescent on a map, I dare ya); I’m always drawn to tales of those who also hail from the “Land of 10,000 Lakes,” and how they made their way in the world... But he’s no Bob Dylan or anything. It’s refreshing to know that fame is achievable in such a way that Franta achieved it, I will give him that. But it is, at times, hard to wrap your head around how he did it. I absolutely enjoy his videos, so don’t think I’m just slamming the hell out of this kid; he’s funny and incredibly relatable as a person. YouTube fame is just weird.  

Something I became increasingly aware of as I was reading was the particular vernacular and mannerisms Franta used – one might say, the type of communication specific to millennials of today’s society, especially in textual form. It is all the more apparent if you watch his videos and witness his traits in action. Franta is, by definition/for all intents and purposes, a “hipster,” made all the more clearer as he uses pages of AWIP to document his love for vintage record players and Polaroid cameras, how he considers coffee to be a full-body experience, and he even dedicates a page to talk about looking at the moon. I understand this though because, hey, I myself am on the older end of the spectrum for the millennial generation and also a part-time hipster. I, too, enjoy a good specialty coffee from Starbucks, often enjoy staring at that bright circle in the night sky, and use some of the same language Connor Franta does. But being the older millennial that I am (i.e. I’m just enough of a millennial to be engulfed in technology on a regular basis, but also know how to *gasp* go without it), I sense that gap in the forms of communication. Read an older novel from Hemingway, for example, and then read Franta’s AWIP; you’ll see what I mean. Fortunately, it’s safe to say the majority of his readership comes from his viewers that are his own age. As such, AWIP doesn’t have the opportunity to get lost in that translation with any older age groups, nor does it get slammed as for it’s incredibly conversational qualities. As a reader stuck in the middle of old school vs. new school communication, it can just, at times, distract from the story. 

I’ll be the first to say I’m shocked when confessing that Connor Franta’s A Work in Progress was surprisingly helpful to me. A Work in Progress is merely some youngster’s story about his 22-year life; who knew it would be so damn relevant to me... maybe to everyone willing to read it. Thanks once again, Universe, for having me read a book that is incredibly pertinent to the exact situation(s) I’m going through *shakes fists*. I picked it up because this book is so aesthetically pleasing I about died – understandable considering the design nerd Franta is (his words, not mine) and as much as I equally am. The personal photographs provided and taken by Franta himself are so beautiful, you could spend just as much time leafing through the pages just to admire them. But add to the fact that this young man is far more enlightened than you could ever imagine makes this book worth reading at least once in your life. Sure, he talks about everyday stuff that is hardly exceptional (bonus: his parents and his family are SO SUPPORTIVE), but the way he touches on the difficult topics with grace and awareness bring back the slightest ounce of faith in humanity. 

FAVORITE EXCERPTS

“Friends are not a number. You can’t collect connections.”

“Girls can be athletic. Guys can have feelings. Girls can be smart. Guys can be creative... Gender is only specific to your reproductive organs (and sometimes not even those), not your interests, likes, dislikes, goals, and ambitions.” 

“Guys need feminine energy as much as girls need masculine energy to get by in this world.” 

“Not all attention is created equal.”

“Sometimes we lose sight of why we’re doing what we’re doing. We get sick of certain aspects of our lives and forget the end goal. But everything has a purpose. There is a reason behind every struggle.” 

“We live in a world where the importance of stability is drilled into use from an early age. If it’s not explicitly stated, then it is seen in the way most of our parents, other elders, or authority figures live their lives: cautiously, pragmatically, and sensibly... The potential risk of failure scream its warning from far away, which is why those with experience feel it is necessary to tell us to find ‘proper jobs’ – the kind that pay well and guarantee long-term security.” 

“Failure is your teacher, not your judge.” 

“All you have to know is why you’ve done something and like it, without seeking the validation or approval of others... Create first and foremost for yourself, no one else.”

“If you like you, that’s all that matters.” – Connor’s mom

“Own every aspect of who you are and present it to the world with the utmost pride.” 

“It’s okay to be liked. It’s okay to seek likes. But it’s not okay if you allow those likes to become the foundation of your sense of self-worth.” 

“Who are you? Answer: You are who you are in this given moment. Label-less. Limitless. Remember that from this day forward.” 

“Destination and destiny share a root word for a good reason.” 

“The only thing holding you back from experiencing [opportunities] is yourself and the false limitations you’ve imposed on yourself.”

“A thought is only as strong as you allow it to be. We either fuel it or release it.” 

“Life waits for no one.”

“It’s not okay to just get by existing day to day. Where will that get you? Aren’t we here to live? To squeeze the maximum amount of juice and at the end of the day, say to ourselves ‘Wow I’m so grateful to have what I have and do what I do.’”

“The hardest part was allowing myself to want something other than what was socially acceptable...”

ABOUT CONNOR FRANTA (from the inside back cover)

Connor Franta is an internet sensation and global trendsetter with millions of followers on YouTube and many other social media platforms. He is the founder of Common Culture Coffee and works closely with The Thirst Project, a charity that provides clean drinking water in Africa, for which he raised more than $230,000 in thirty days. He also curates music from up-and-coming bands for his Common Culture compilation albums. This is his first book. To learn more, visit: youtube.com/ConnorFranta and twitter.com/ConnorFranta

A Work in Progress: A Memoir by Connor Franta Atria/Keywords Press (Simon & Schuster) | April 2015 | 212 pages

MY RATING: ★ ★ ★ ✩ ✩ There are some pretty deep praises of this book in my review and you’re probably wondering about its lower rating. Don’t get me wrong, this book was wonderful and provided a multitude of amazing advice... but I personally felt there wasn’t a lot of substance. He was able to give said advice because he lived it, but all of those things are honestly what every kid has gone through (give or take some personal details). That makes it very relatable, for sure. But his unconventional fame and the age at which he wrote his first memoir really feel like the only noteworthy details. Change some details and this could be my story. Also, I know he meant well by them, but his words of encouragement that often concluded each chapter were a bit much for my tastes. Which makes me believe that his coaxing words are better geared towards his younger readers just getting to know themselves, not a near-30-year-old who has a pretty good grasp of who she is. 

His sage advice helped me cope with some friendship issues, as well as following my gut, so I will absolutely give him incredible kudos for his novel in that sense. But... I really kind of feel that he is a kid of opportunity. He is definitely a hard working guy, but a lot of his opportunities and achievements are spawned by who he now knows or due to the reach he has across the internet.